Table of Contents
Introduction .....................................................................................................2 The Importance of Foreplay .............................................................................3 Foreplay Tips to Heat Up Your Relationship ............................................................3 Why Do We Stop with Foreplay Anyway?.........................................................5 Foreplay – A Little Aphrodisiac Help Goes a Long Way.....................................7 Foreplay – Steps to a Whole Day Affair… .........................................................9 The ‘Excuse Me’ Tip! .............................................................................................9 Practical Tips!.....................................................................................................10 Are You Fit for Foreplay? ................................................................................11 Fitness Tips to Jumpstart Foreplay .......................................................................11 Foreplay – How to Stop Procrastination and… JUST GO FOR IT! ...................13 The ‘Perfect Body’ Syndrome. ..............................................................................13 The ‘Perfect Setting’ Syndrome. ...........................................................................13 ‘I’m Afraid of Rejection’ Syndrome. ......................................................................14 Foreplay – Kissing 101....................................................................................15 Kissing is an Art..................................................................................................15 How to French Kiss Properly During Foreplay ................................................17 What is a French Kiss? ........................................................................................17 How to French Kiss Someone ..............................................................................17 Foreplay – Embracing 101 ..............................................................................19 Embrace Him/Her Now… But How? ......................................................................19 Foreplay Tips for Him......................................................................................21 Hot Tips for Sexual Foreplay................................................................................21 Foreplay Tips for Her ......................................................................................23 My First Foreplay Tip for You… ............................................................................23 And Now for More Practical, Naughty Foreplay Tips… ............................................23 10 Foreplay DON’TS to Remember .................................................................25 Conclusion ......................................................................................................27
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Introduction First of all, allow me to first congratulate you for making this great investment in your relationship! I assure you, Foreplay Forbidden Secrets will be a treasure chest of hot and wild foreplay ideas you can use for many years to come. Mention the word ‘foreplay’ and not only does everybody knows what it means, it also immediately brings the words ‘passion’, ‘hot’, ‘wild’, ‘exciting’, ‘electric’, and other related words to mind. WHY then does foreplay cease to exist in almost every single relationship that has been going for a couple of years? Months? Weeks?!? The thing with foreplay is that it is directly related to the fact that you two are ‘new’ to each other. So much to learn! So much to find out! So much to explore! After awhile, the novelty wears off… and so does foreplay. Well, it should NOT be this way! Foreplay Forbidden Secrets will tell you exactly what to do so you don’t lose this magical moment in your relationship. And if you’re one of those who are already, unfortunately, at that stage where things are becoming more and more ‘routine’, this eBook will show you how to bring back foreplay into your relationship, so that it becomes energetic and sexually exciting again! Here are just some of the Foreplay Forbidden Secrets you will learn from this erotic eBook. In Section 1, we delve into how important foreplay is and why you should really make an effort at keeping it alive in your relationship. In Section 3, we discuss the wonderful world of aphrodisiacs to jumpstart your foreplay habits! In Section 4, I help you plan for foreplay that lasts for the whole day… hmmm. In Section 6, you’ll learn how you can overcome the THREE most common reasons why you – or your partner – are not engaging in foreplay. In Section 7, you’re in for a treat as we discuss not one, not two… but SIX different ways you can kiss your woman to horny-ness. In Section 8… afraid of French Kissing? With these tips, you won’t be. In fact, you’ll be downright wondering why you don’t do the “Frenchie” often enough. In Section 9, we continue to enrich your arsenal of foreplay moves with EIGHT ways you can embrace your lover tonight. In Section 12, I’ll impart with you 10 Things that you should NOT do during foreplay time. Keeping foreplay alive is one of the secrets to successful relationships. And by ‘successful’, I mean one that is loving, long-lasting, exciting, and yes… one that makes you want to grab your partner, rip her clothes off, and make wild, passionate love each time you see her! Enjoy the following Foreplay chapters I have for you. Enjoy the tips. Enjoy each other… To Your Magnificent Sexual Awakening,
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-1The Importance of Foreplay Foreplay is perhaps one of the most commonly neglected phases in making love. And there are many misconceptions about it too! Some think that foreplay is just those few minutes before progressing into the ‘actual act’ of sexual intercourse. You know, kissing and petting before taking off one’s clothes. I am telling you right now; nothing can be further from the truth. Foreplay is all about ‘building up the passion’. As such, it can be a whole day affair! Many couples ask me this question time and time again, “Why don’t we have sex as much as we used to when we were first together?”, “Why does it seem that the passion has all but gone from our relationship?” The answer to this dear readers is that you have probably not been giving foreplay the attention it deserves. Think about it. When you and your partner first got together, you didn’t just make love right? Go back to those first few days and moments. I bet there was a lot of kissing (perhaps even hidden kisses), handholding, caressing, petting, smoldering looks across the room… in short, there was a lot of FOREPLAY. You and your partner need to bring foreplay back into your relationship. And by this I don’t mean demanding that you guys have long French kisses before commencing the sexual act. Of course, French kisses are highly-erotic demanding it is one sure-fire way to snuff the passion out of it. You need to be subtle in bringing foreplay back into your relationship so that your partner welcomes its return as well and not be turned off or even ‘scared’ by it.
Foreplay Tips to Heat Up Your Relationship Firstly, find a quiet place. Put on some relaxing music, light up some scented candles and lie down or sit up and start remembering those first few days of your relationship when everything was exciting and hot. Start making notes. Ask yourself things like where you guys met, when and where was the first time you guys kissed, where you used to hang out, what clothes does he/she find sexiest on you and vice versa, what movie made you guys so horny you had to run back to your apartment… and so on. In short, re-capture those moments so you can re-live them today. Now, this does not mean you should limit your foreplay repertoire to the answers you have to these questions. They merely serve as a ‘starting point’ to your new sexually charged relationship. Secondly, remembering the ‘good stuff’ is great; now you need to act on it. Now how you bring foreplay back into your relationship depends on your and your partners personal characteristics. In my experience, there are two kinds of partners (couples). One type is the partner who actually finds it ‘corny’ if you start discussing ‘foreplay this Saturday night’. The other type is the one that welcomes it with open arms! So I suggest you take a close look at how your partner will react to this and plan accordingly. Let me give you a real-life example here (names changed for privacy).
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Jodie desperately wanted to bring foreplay back into their relationship but each time she discusses it with her partner, he rebukes it and asks “Ok, what Cosmo quiz did you take today?” or “Is that what you learned from Oprah today?” By the time, Jodie discussed this with me, she was already convinced her husband hated foreplay and simply wanted ‘the usual 20-minute hump’. I told Jodie to stop talking and asking and simply get started with ‘setting the mood’! I told Jodie to ‘accidentally’ leave a Kama Sutra-type book lying around the bed so that her partner was sure to see it when he wakes up in the morning. She should then ‘accidentally’ leave the door open as she was showering or ‘accidentally’ let her robe fall, etc… and then if he wants it, don’t give it! BE UNREACHABLE. Wait till nighttime when you have more of these ‘accidental’ stuff happening. I’m telling you my friends, Jodie called me IMMEDIATELY the following day (she woke me up actually) thanking me for sharing all those ‘powerful stuff’ with her. Foreplay is something you don’t rush. It needs its own time. By the same token, you shouldn’t rush its return to your relationship either. Think about it; plan it out; then you’ll be rewarded… Next time, I’ll talk about how you can set up a day of foreplay and a night of passion like your partner has never experienced before. Till then!
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-2Why Do We Stop with Foreplay Anyway? We’ve been talking a lot about how to bring foreplay back but it’s worth taking a look at why we stop with it in the first place. Why? Because why we ‘complain’ a lot about the lack of romance and/or foreplay in our relationships, a quick look at some of the leading causes on WHY it ends brings us back to this reality: WE let it happen. Following is a quick rundown of ‘foreplay killers’ in any relationship and how you can remedy them. Familiarity. Remember when the two of you first met? EVERYTHING was new and exciting! The mere touch of his/her skin on yours made your whole body tingle. But now… nothing’s new anymore and it’s so easy to look at your relationship as ‘dull’. You feel that the energy between has been zapped (and replaced by zzzzz) and so you forego foreplay. After all, you know everything about each other already; what’s left to explore? Well, here’s some news for you: even the most mesmerizing rose-tainted windows need a clean up! In short, you cannot expect your partner to remain a complete mystery to you. BOTH of you need to work at keeping your relationship ‘fresh’. How? Here’s what you do: For starters, PLEASE don’t be sloppy with your appearance. It really IS the number killer of desire! Get a new hair cut; dye your hair; lose/gain weight; change your wardrobe, all of these can make your partner (and yourself!) look at you in a different light. After this, get a hobby! Something you’ve suppressed or something your partner never knew you were into (poll dancing?). Lack of Time. Why is it that you could make time for him/her then but not anymore today? You may say it’s because of work or the kids, but regardless of these, aren’t your partner worth a good 2 to 3 (or more!) hours of undivided foreplay and sex time? Here’s what you do: Get your calendar, agenda book or scheduler and make an appointment NOW to be with your partner for one whole day on [choose you date]. But don’t stop here! Back track your schedule! If you ‘claim’ February 14 as THE day, schedule what you need to do a week before (go for a makeover?), 2 weeks before (make reservations?), 3 weeks before (start changing things in your bedroom? check out hotels in the area?). Over Confidence. We all run the risk of being too lax in our relationships. One of my MALE friends did not know what hit him when he found out his wife was having an office affair. “How could this happen?!?” Well, without going into details, let’s just say that after I learned a few more things about their (yawn) relationship, I ended up asking “How could it not?!?” Wake up folks! Being married or being in a committed relationship does not give you license to be lax. You need to keep it HOT so your partner leaves NOT! Here’s what you do: Make it a HABIT to go out at least every week. I mean it! Many couples try for once a month. Come on! That’s way too long… you and your partner won’t even remember the fun you had the last timer with this time scale.
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If budget is a concern, then stay in BUT leave the kids out. No kids? Then no PC or internet time, unplug the phones and lock the mobile phones in a cupboard. Prepare a warm bath, have a nice dinner and watch some porn. Try it this week; you’ll thank me for it! Lack of Communication. One of the things I do so hate to hear is the “well, he/she should initiate…” or “it’s his/her turn to…” excuse. Granted, a relationship will not survive if only one person works at it. However, keeping a scorecard is not good either! If you WAIT for your partner to make the move and initiate foreplay, you can be in for a long wait; so long that even you will reach a state of mind that says “Foreplay? What for?” Your can just can see how foreplay dies here right? Another thing that’s a foreplay killer is this scenario: you try something new, say whipped cream. You bring it out from under the bed/sofa, put in on him/her and… he/she is disgusted! Now, instead of talking this through, you say “hmpf!”, leave the room and swear you won’t initiate foreplay again! Here’s what you do: I’ll let you in on a personal tip ☺ Sometimes, when I initiate foreplay, I pick up a woman’s magazine like Cosmo or Elle, whatever. Anyway, most men know there are ‘quizzes’ in these mags. So what I do is start taking the quiz ‘aloud’ and involve my man. “Sweetie, do you like honey or melted chocolate?” “Have YOU ever done a ‘69’?” “Do you think our table is strong enough to…?” Hey guys, I have tips for you too. Go online, check out a semi-porn site and start asking your woman sexy stuff too! The point of the exercise here is you get to discuss these things under the cloak of ‘fun’. People – male AND female – are often turned off by being forced into talking about foreplay itself. This way, it’s more fun… and leaves a lot of room for his/her imagination! Good luck!
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-3Foreplay – A Little Aphrodisiac Help Goes a Long Way If you’re going out of your way to stage a night of passion, then I say do it good! For a lot of women, this part is already foreplay for you. Thinking about what flowers to buy, where to get them, what to cook, what to wear… all of these enable you to maintain your sexual tension throughout the day. For men, you may not be the more detailed one of the species but luckily for you, most women will already be bawled over by your ‘efforts’. For instance, you may not have the rose petals but a single bouquet of fresh flowers is enough; cooking a five-course meal may not be possible but even having Chinese food brought in is enough, because you saved your partner from the task of cooking! Regardless of gender, budget and time on one’s hands, the following items are reputed aphrodisiacs that will do well in helping you carry out your foreplay plans. Now, you might say that some of these items are not ‘medically-proven’ aphrodisiacs… stop those thoughts. Remember… seduction is all in the mind! Oysters (and other genitalia-like food). Oysters are world-famous aphrodisiacs. Actually, there’s not much proof that there’s something in oysters that increases the libido but because they look like the female genitalia, they induce visions of passionate sex and so in a weird way, it IS an aphrodisiac! Other foods that remind us of male or female genitalia and can thus be used (and consumed) during ‘foreplay night’ are carrots, bananas, asparagus, broccoli florets, and others. Arugula or rocket, which is often used in salads, is also a reputed aphrodisiac. (Since the 1st century AD to be exact.) A ‘potent’ combination is said to be an arugula salad, with parsnips, pine nuts and pistachios thrown in. Sex-Me-Up Scents. The perfume you wear, the smell of the rich food and the odor of the scented candles you use all play a role in creating a romantic evening. Jasmine, cedarwood, lavender, musk, rose, sandalwood, and of course, vanilla, are all fragrances that are known to titillate the senses. A word of caution: do not overdo this, lest you give your partner a headache! My personal favorite combination is lavender and vanilla; have fun finding out what’s yours! Sooo-thing music. It’s hard not to get in the mood if you have Barry White on crooning the whole night long. Don’t dig Barry White or find this one corny? Then pop a CD you both like (not rock music!) or set it to a radio station that plays a lot of sappy, love songs. Another world-famous aphrodisiac is of course, chocolate! Chocolate has phenylethylamine and serotonin, chemicals that ‘ignite’ pleasure areas in the brain. This is also why plenty of people turn to chocolate when they are depressed; chocolates are classic ‘pick me uppers’! Again, it’s all in the mind. Set a small platter of chocolates in the living room table, dim the lights or light some candles, play some music… when your partner walks through the door I guarantee he/she will immediately forget the world behind. Bring in the liquor! Nothing makes a person more relaxed than a bit of alcohol into his/her system! Just be careful not to overdo the booze. As Shakespeare said in Macbeth…"It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance." -7-
A full moon! Everybody equates a full moon with romance and passion. If you can have your dinner out on the terrace or plan to have dinner out where you can see the sky, time it so that there’s a full moon. A better, more natural, backdrop can’t be better! Sensual massage. Up till now, it’s all been about your environment. It’s time to up the foreplay ante with a sensual massage. It’s a great way to help your partner unwind at the end of the day and get him/her in the mood. Don’t make the massage fake though. Give a really good massage, interspersed with some naughty nibbling, biting, and licking! Again, personal characteristics come into play. Some may be daring and are ok with using melted chocolate and even fruit or mashed food. If your partner finds this ‘icky’ then don’t do it. Stick to a sex-inducing massage oil scent like subtle vanilla or lavender but don’ forego the nibbling, biting, and licking! Good luck!
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-4Foreplay – Steps to a Whole Day Affair… Foreplay is not something to be rushed. In fact, the longer the suspense, the tighter the tension, the hotter the passion! You see, if you are trying to put foreplay back into your lives and then rush through it, then you are undermining its importance. Instead, plan for a night of passion you and your partner won’t forget. Start the day right. Start foreplay the minute your partner wakes up. For women, try leaving erotica (a Kama Sutra-type book always works!) by the bedside or ‘accidentally’ leave a pair of black (or red) thongs on the bed. Titillate his imagination! For men, leave a dirty magazine under the pillow or on the bed. The ‘accidentally leaving your underwear’ thing doesn’t work for men as successfully as for women though. Instead, wake up with, er… an erection and be sure your partner sees it or ‘accidentally’ comes into contact with it. I guarantee your partner will wake up with thoughts of sex in the air! (There you go; foreplay has begun!) Now continue this ‘teasing’. For example, you can let your robe fall off after the shower or go out of the shower completely naked (say you forgot to bring a towel or clothes or something…). Don’t be shy to make ‘poses’ while naked! Bend over, stretch, or even rub yourself lightly. Do this innocently but be sure your partner sees it! Be unreachable but don’t be mean. At this point, your partner’s thoughts may already be about sex, don’t give in! Play hard to get. However, don’t be mean. Some people tease to the point where his/her partner is so hot already that if you don’t give in, they get frustrated! Worse, they see it as rebuke. You don’t want that! You should be able to tease ‘to a point of return’.
The ‘Excuse Me’ Tip! Here’s a tip from one of my readers. Sometimes, when she wakes up in the morning, she teases her man by trying to get out of bed on HIS side. So she says “excuse me” and then she just HAS to get on top of him right? And while there, a little ‘dry rubbing’ goes on and soon enough, he gets hot. She then gives him a wet kiss, gets up and says “See you tonight honey…” coyly. Maintain the sexual tension. Now that you’ve started foreplay, maintain the tension. Most people make the mistake of thinking that because their partners were ‘hot’ this morning, they will be in exactly the same state that night. Wrong! So how do you keep your partner longing for you during the day? Try these tricks. • • •
Send an x-rated email or link to an x-rated site and say “Look at what [name of friend or colleague] sent me today!” Send an email or SMS saying “Honey, [name of porn film] is in at the store/video rent house today. Shall I get it?” Send a picture SMS of yourself with… barely anything on.
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Set the stage appropriately. The stage can be a hotel room or simply at home. You MUST take the personality traits of your partner here. If he/she is the romantic type, then spread rose petals on the floor and on the bed, chill the champagne, and light 100 scented candles! However, here’s the real-life truth: many people are not like this. Some think this is ‘over the top’ or ‘too corny’. So don’t try to recreate a romantic movie scene here if it doesn’t suit you or your partner. If he/she is more the ‘practical’ type, then hold off on the scattered flower petals and simply go for a fresh bouquet of red roses and put them in a vase in the living room and another in the bedroom. Instead of champagne, go for your partner’s favorite wine or hard-to-get, imported beer! Instead of 100 scented candles, go for few lighted ones placed strategically in your home. Be subtle but make the changes stand out nonetheless.
Practical Tips! Please don’t try and create a romantic setting if you have not taken care of a few basic things such as getting rid of the kids and doing some basic room cleaning. I tell you, it ruins the mood! Seriously, if you have kids, it really pays to have them stay at grandma’s for the night. I guarantee you’ll be amazed at how uninhibited and abandoned your partner will be in bed! Next time, I’ll talk about the rest of your foreplay stage setting and aphrodisiac-type elements you can incorporate during your day - and night! – of foreplay. Till then!
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-5Are You Fit for Foreplay? In one of our open forums with my subscribers, the topic of why it was so hard to bring foreplay back into a relationship was brought up. A lot of reasons were being discussed and then seemingly out of the blue, one of them said “I’m out of shape!”. The next thing I knew, people on the forum were - one by one - confirming the same thing! People didn’t want to admit to it, thinking it was not a ‘valid’ reason but it was there all the same: many found it difficult to initiate foreplay because they felt they were not physically in the best shape of their lives. It’s not that you need ‘real stamina’ for foreplay. It’s just that people did not feel ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ enough to introduce foreplay again in their relationships. Somehow, the prevailing thought is to have that perfect body to fit into that perfect lingerie for women, or not to have that beer belly hanging out for men. Well, you know what, this is just plain PROCRASTINATION. You don’t have to have that perfect body to start bringing foreplay back. Furthermore, look at it this way: foreplay means better and more frequent sex, and more frequent sex means more calories burned. It’s a win-win situation!
Fitness Tips to Jumpstart Foreplay It’s all in how you perceive yourself and your body but if you really want to tone your physical appearance a bit to give you that boost in confidence to start foreplay, then that’s ok too. Here are some tips we discussed in our group. •
Power Walking is a great way to start getting into shape. It’s low impact and can be done in nearby woods or within your own neighborhood. This is really just ‘walking at a faster tempo’ with exaggerated arm swinging for more calorie burnout. Just remember to wear the right pair of shoes so you don’t hurt yourself on your first few rounds.
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Yoga is actually a ‘philosophy’ that believes in bringing the mind and body with the universe. This is why most yoga exercises are focused on balancing your body through exact movements, controlled breathing and mental training. Yoga is thus good for body conditioning and mental rest.
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Stretching. If you’ve been reading my previous articles, you know that I like foreplay to include a lot of teasing to increase sexual tension. Many times, this involves many ‘poses’. For example, I like to reach up to a top drawer while wearing short shorts so that my partner can see my ass-ets. I also like bending low so that my partner gets an eyeful of my boobs. Well, I’m telling you, my antics look more ‘fluid’ and sexy because I do stretching exercises whenever I can! Can you imagine if I did these stuff and had to stop it midway because I pulled a muscle?!?
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Dirty Dancing! This is a confession from one of our female subscribers. - 11 -
Whenever she feels a bit ‘heavy’, she turns up the music the minute her husband goes out the door for work and really let loose! But she doesn’t just put on dance music. She also puts in a good mix of ‘slutty music’ and she just ‘gyrates’ to the music with abandon. She swears she gets so horny after this, it’s a challenge to wait for her husband to come back home! •
Aerobic Stripping is GREAT because you exercise while preparing your ‘foreplay moves’. You need some music to get you in the mood but it doesn’t have to be dance music, even a Barry White number will do. The point is to start swaying and moving to the music while S-L-O-W-L-Y taking your clothes of piece by piece. The forced slow movements also help in toning your body!
All of the above tips don’t need special equipment or expensive gym memberships. And more information about them can easily be sourced online so it’s all up to you now! Just remember, you DON’T need a perfect body to start focusing on bringing foreplay back into your lives. But if you do decide to get fitter for foreplay then go for it! I’m always one for better stamina in bed too!
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-6Foreplay – How to Stop Procrastination and… JUST GO FOR IT! Wow! A lot of people really have A LOT of reasons to delay bringing foreplay back into their relationships. It’s almost like weight loss issues: we all want it; but somehow can’t seem to get started on achieving it! Today, I’d like to address some of the most common reasons why you are most likely delaying bringing back foreplay into your relationship. And of course, tips on how to overcome them!
The ‘Perfect Body’ Syndrome. In a previous article, I discussed about how many of you delay foreplay because you think that you don’t physically look good enough. However, note that you DO NOT need that perfect body to start foreplay! Foreplay/Sex is all in the mind. I mean, isn’t it true that you can make someone ‘come’ over the phone?!? So stop delaying. If you wait and wait and wait for the perfect body, you may find that your partner is already with someone else! Here’s what you do: If you are really bothered about how you look with less clothes then opt for clothes that highlight your ‘assets’ and use ‘better lighting’. A bit chubby but got great boobs? Push-up bras girl! Don’t feel comfortable naked? Black sheer lingerie ALWAYS works! For men, here’s a tip from personal experience. My man actually doesn’t like walking around naked at home BUT when he wants to tease me he wears those boxer shorts that have an opening at the front. (Men! They pee standing up and still can’t be bothered to pull their underwear down!) Anyway, so he has this peek-a-boo boxers from which of course I get a GREAT view of his ginormous… Now lighting. Many people hate asking their partners to turn the lights off so what do they do? Suffer being uncomfortable! Argh! Simple solution: use DIMMERS or CANDLES!
The ‘Perfect Setting’ Syndrome. Many people can’t seem to begin foreplay because they get so caught up in the preparation. Here’s what one frustrated subscriber wrote me one day… “Gabrielle, my foreplay night was RUINED. First, the ‘naughty cake’ I ordered did NOT arrive. My sister was late in picking up my son and daughter (took your advice on ‘getting rid’ of them) so I was late with cooking dinner. And then… Tom called that he’ll be late from work! I was so upset I couldn’t push through with it anymore! I mean almost a whole month of planning and scheduling down the drain…” Why I always tell my clients that it’s great to plan your foreplay nights, don’t be obsessed with having a well-timed, all-must-be-in-order setting! It can easily sidetrack you from your goal which is to spend a valuable and sensual time with your partner. Here’s what you do: If things don’t go exactly as you planned, LET IT GO. For example, if you realize all of a sudden that you don’t have time for that 5-course aphrodisiac-laden dinner you were planning, go through your folder of favorite take-out restaurants! If, at the last minute, the designated babysitter bails out on you… go for ‘gagged’ sex (as in mouth - 13 -
covered; pls. don’t choke your partner ☺)! You or your partner not into this? That’s OK. Give it your foreplay attempts a rest …. BUT TRY AGAIN SOON!
‘I’m Afraid of Rejection’ Syndrome. A LOT of you have written me that it’s really hard to initiate foreplay again if your partner turned you flat down at your previous attempt. Well, oftentimes, you’re afraid to try again because your EMOTION is blocking your LOGIC. For instance, when you initiated foreplay, WHY did he/she REALLY turn you down? You think the reason is YOU but it just as easily can be HIM/HER you know. Maybe he/she REALLY had a headache. Maybe he/she was coming down with the flu. Maybe he/she did not feel sexy enough! Here’s what you do: If ‘talking about it’ makes you or your partner uncomfortable, then start by trying again! But this time, be a little bit more aware of his/her situation be it at work, with his/her family, and others. If it’s still not working, then initiate dialogue soon. If you don’t, self-doubt and losing interest in initiating foreplay can easily hit rock-bottom.
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-7Foreplay – Kissing 101 Today, we’re going to talk about the many ways couples can kiss each other during foreplay. It’s funny how we seem to take kissing for granted or how easily we can fall into a ‘routine’ with kissing. One of our subscribers has written me sometime bask complaining that each time she and her husband kiss, there seems to be a ‘time limit’ and all-too-familiar routine that they follow. It goes like this: gentle kissing, followed by about 5 minutes of torrid kissing, and then intercourse! She said that although she liked having sex with her husband it was becoming like a wellrehearsed routine… help!
Kissing is an Art One of the best ways to prolong foreplay is to indulge in the many ways you and your partner can kiss each other. Here are a few tips for you. The Bent Kiss is the type of kiss that’s meant for ‘deep tongue penetration’. It requires one partner to be taller or be at an elevated height than the other. For couples with differing heights, no problem but for couples of equal heights, try kissing on the stairs or while one of you is sitting on the table or sink. The objective is to have one bending over the other for maximum tongue playing. The Upper Lip Kiss is when you kiss the upper lip of your partner, making your partner focus on your lower lip. This type of kiss allows for a different type of sensation and oh yes, a little sucking of the lips is allowed too! The Upside-Down Kiss is literally kissing each other while upside-down. Don’t worry; you don’t need any form of acrobatics here. For example, initiate foreplay while your partner is watching TV. Touch his/her shoulders from behind the couch, give him/her a hug, bend over his/her head and start the kiss! I just gave you two pointers here. Firstly, let your partner know you’re behind him/her! Think about it. How would you react if there was this big head appearing in your line of vision all of a sudden! Secondly, proceed gently, the ‘hug’ part lets your partner know you’re in a ‘tender, loving place’ and because he/she knows this, the kiss you give will be more welcome. Also, do time your upside-down kiss well! There’s no point in initiating foreplay during the championship of the Super Bowl. You’re setting yourself up badly and you know it! Men, if you know she’s REALLY into Oprah, now is not the time for you to initiate this either. Kiss and Lick (a.k.a. tongue bathing) is when you ensure that you kiss and lick your partner in ‘equal portions’. I’ve always said that many of us do not lick enough! So when you feel that your partner wants to immediately move on to lovemaking, delay it by engaging in some licking. Be sure to make the change subtle and to alternate between kissing and licking. The Awakening Kiss is the kiss you want to do if you want to initiate foreplay in the morning or whenever your partner is sleeping. Personally, I call it the “Sleeping Beauty Kiss” because basically you start kissing your partner gently while he/she is still asleep. Don’t - 15 -
make the kiss too wet or too aggressive. Remember, you want your partner to awaken to ‘gentle, sensual pleasures’ and not to a rough assault. Chocolate Kisses is by far one of my favorites. It is as simple as it sounds, pop a piece of chocolate in your mouth, melt it a bit and when it’s soft and gooey… go for the kiss! You can do some variations of this depending on what you and your partner love to eat. For example, peanut butter is good for most people as well as candy bars. Just be sure it’s something your partner loves to east as well! There you go. Add these kiss variations into your foreplay repertoire and your partner will surely be surprised, delighted and excited by all these NEW things that are going on in your relationship. Happy Kissing!
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-8How to French Kiss Properly During Foreplay I rarely find a couple who doesn’t like to French Kiss and when I do it’s often because they don’t know how to do it properly! Indeed, bad French kissing can turn any foreplay attempt into a disaster. Imagine, instead of being labeled as a great romantic, you end up being called a great slob!
What is a French Kiss? A French kiss is a sexual kiss that involves a partner’s tongue touching the lips and tongue of the other, eventually entering his/her mouth. French kissing is classified as a very intimate kiss. After all, would you just let anyone access to your mouth?!? Because a French kiss is not just granted to anyone, many people find French kissing a huge turn on. Actually, it’s more than just ‘limited access’ that causes the turn on. This type of kissing stimulates the lips, tongue and mouth, which, as it happens, are all areas extremely sensitive to touch. So now you know why French kissing is so hot!
How to French Kiss Someone Following are my practical, no beating around the bush tips on how you should attempt French kissing. Follow these tips and your foreplay attempts will lead to highly-energized sex! Prepare well. Come on. You know you’re going to try for a French kiss tonight so come prepared! Be well groomed, take a long bath and above all… brush your teeth! Now, say you just had dinner and by some stroke of inaptitude on your part, you ate something with a lot of garlic. Rush to a 24-hour store and buy a breath mint or disposable tooth brush kit. Believe me, MANY subscribers have passed a night of great French kissing because of this so don’t make the same mistake. Close your mouth. Yes, close it. Don’t go for an open-mouthed kiss as you might scare him/her. No one wants to see a widely-opened mouth coming towards and attempting to eat him/her. Instead, go for a closed-mouth, soft, sensual kiss. Don’t bump into each other. Ok, you go for the kiss what’s next? Angle your head so that you don’t bump noses. Close your eyes. Some couples like to ‘look deep into each other’s eyes’ while kissing but since this is your first French kiss attempt, I suggest closing your eyes. This heightens sensations and you don’t want to unconsciously communicate to your partner your hesitations. That is, you don’t want him/her to look into your eyes and read “should I put my tongue in now or not?” do you? Proceed with caution. If you sense that the time is right, open your mouth a bit and see how he/she reacts. Nine out of ten times, your partner will open his/her mouth too and this is the signal that you can use your tongue now. If this does not happen, then proceed by lightly brushing your tongue across his/her lips. If your partner still doesn’t reciprocate or pulls away… alas! you have to try again another day.
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Don’t propel your tongue like a helicopter blade. Ok, you’re in! Congratulations. However, don’t ruin the moment by twirling your tongue like a tornado! Do a bit of everything. Twirl a bit, pull back, lick her/his lips again, pull back, go back in, etc. etc. BREATHE! Do NOT hold your breathe. A lot of people try to hold their breath so as not to ‘break the moment’ and then what? They end up having to pull away completely because they’re gasping for air! Just breathe normally through your nose and you’ll be fine. Kiss deep but suck light. A normal ‘next thing to do’ is to start sucking your partners tongue and often, this is where the French kiss goes wrong. Many couples are so excited at this stage that they seem to suck with gusto, which of course causes pain for their partners. So remember to suck lightly, and your French kiss will last a long time. Don’t bite. You can tease, lick and even nibble, but don’t bite. Again, your high enthusiasm may cause your partner pain. Don’t gag him/her. Another French kiss no-no is going too deep in his/her mouth. Just stay close to the front of the mouth and concentrate on his/her lips and tongue. French kissing is such a delightful thing to do during foreplay. Master it and you’ll have him/her wrapped around your finger – and tongue! – in no time.
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-9Foreplay – Embracing 101 Yet another often neglected part of foreplay is embracing. One of the questions I always ask a client is “how do you define an embrace?”. Almost without fail, my client will give me a blank stare and answer… “Well, you know, put your arms around her/him”. “That’s it?” “Bring her/him closer to me, you know, a hug”. “That’s it?” [blank stare] Ok, embracing, just like kissing, can have so many variations and you can use all of them during foreplay!
Embrace Him/Her Now… But How? The Rubbing Embrace is something that you may not think of as an embrace at all. It is when you gently and subtly touch or rub your body against your partner, often when in a public place. For example, say you’re in a bookstore or something, walk up to you partner, get REALLY close and rub your body a bit against him/her. If you’re into ‘foreplay gear’, then rub a bit more obviously to get him/her excited. The Pressing Embrace is one of my favorites. It’s when you pin your partner against a wall or something… with your body! For a gentle version, let’s go back to the bookstore. After your rubbing embrace, reach out for a book BEHIND him/her, causing your partner to stand back while you lean into him/her with your hot body. Now for a not so subtle version, do the pressing embrace at home… with very little clothes on or nothing at all! The Side Embrace is a very tender type of embrace and can be done just about anywhere. This embrace calls for you to face your partner but not front-to-front (i.e., eye-to-eye) but side-to-side (i.e., more like ear-to-ear). When you’re somewhat aligned now side-by-side, put an arm in front of his/her waist or use both arms and wrap them around his/her body. The Over-the-Edge Embrace is when your boyfriend / husband /lover sits on the edge of the sofa or bed and you sort of straddle him. The purpose of this embrace is not intercourse, you can do this with clothes on but the embrace calls for women to ‘trust’ their partners (i.e., that she doesn’t end up on the floor!) and as such is a great ‘bonding embrace’. The Twining Vine embrace is normally done by women. It is when you embrace your man and then lift one leg up to wrap or ‘twine’ around his leg. This is especially great during foreplay as it enables you to grind your ‘sweet spot’ against his manhood a bit. The Thigh Embrace is great during foreplay and after sex. It is basically putting the left or right thigh of your partner between your own. During foreplay, this can be done lying down or standing up against the wall. While in this embrace, grab the opportunity to rub your genitals against his/her thigh. After sex, don’t just roll over and sleep! Continue your bonding by getting on top and doing this embrace and hold it for more than a few seconds!
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The Throbbing Embrace is for advanced stages of foreplay. This is when you’re both really hot and panting now. While embracing your partner, spread your legs a bit so that he/she can position his genitals against yours. You can then proceed to rub against each other (pace depends on how hot you guys are already). Trust me. This type of embrace will have you guys ripping off each other’s clothes soon. The Embrace of the Breasts is when you both have your clothes off already. To do this embrace, be sure to position your breasts against his/her and gently rock your body back and forth. Needless to say, this stimulates your nipples almost to the point of no return. The Lower Body embrace is when you go half-way down your partner’s body but just till your face is against his/her stomach (not belly). You can then proceed to press your face against his/her stomach, hug his/her thighs with your arms, and then move on to kissing his/her stomach! Again, a great foreplay or after-sex embrace! Embracing your partner can be as gentle or as sensual as you want it to be but do embrace him/her more! Studies show that a lot of physical contact does do a relationship good so start embracing more often!
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- 10 Foreplay Tips for Him So, you want to take the initiative this time and want to surprise your girlfriend /wife / lover with your foreplay skills. But then again, you realize that foreplay hasn’t been your ‘thing’ lately and you’re not sure what to do… Well, lucky you! I’ve compiled these hot foreplay tips you can use ASAP so that you can have her breathing hard and lusting for your touch tonight!
Hot Tips for Sexual Foreplay Sometimes, foreplay can be a disaster if you don’t know what you’re doing. For instance, you may have seen movies where he ‘tweaks’ her nipples… HARD. Well guys, you know what? That HURTS and you’re not really arousing her that way. So to guide your naughty thoughts, take heed of my foreplay tips below! Don’t forget her neck. Often, guys think of foreplay as ‘kissing’ and making love as ‘having sex’. Sorry guys, that’s way too simple for us girls. So during foreplay, don’t just kiss her thoroughly, pay attention too to other female body parts such as her neck, arms, legs, and even her feet. Alternate between kissing, licking and nibbling these areas and she’ll be putty in your hands in no time. Mentally ‘sex her up’. It’s a fact. Guys go for visual stuff while women like to be mentally put ‘in the mood’. So if you’re planning for some hot sex tonight, start foreplay early during the day so she’s already in the mood by the time you reach for her at home. For example, if you guys are standing on line for something, get close to her and whisper something REALLY DIRRRTY into her ear! Important: paint her a picture in her head. So don’t just say “I’m going to fuck you tonight”. Instead, say “You know babe, I’m horny now so when we get back home, I will lick your clit so good that…” I think you get my drift by now… Dry hump her. In its most generic sense, foreplay is all about ‘increasing the sexual tension’ so that you and your partner are uber-primed for the sexual act itself. Well, what’s more arousing than imitating intercourse movements (humping) than doing it with clothes on! Preferably, do this in a public place or in a club. Basically, do it where you cannot proceed to doing intercourse. This way, you guys will be h-h-hot for sex later! Slow dance… while butt-naked. Ok, this time foreplay without clothes! You can just be half-dressed or completely naked for this one. Put on some slow and/or lusty music, dim the lights, light some candles, take some or all of your clothes off and start swaying to the music. Remember that the trick here is to dance close to her body so that she can feel your erection against her. Hot! Go ‘under the table’. I just love sharing experiences from subscribers and here’s another one. One time, while Jill (subscriber name changed for privacy) and her husband were having dinner, they were getting a bit naughty and started to ‘play footsie’ under the table. This then proceeded to her fully extending her leg and with her foot, she started playing with his penis through his pants. What happened next shocked her…
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Without warning, he went under the table, spread her legs, pulled down her shorts and tongued her! Jill swears the foreplay and the suddenness of his moves was the hottest sex and the best orgasm she ever had! Try this one tonight and don’t worry if she’s wearing pants. Just rub your face against her mound and it will turn her so horny SHE will start to bring her pants down. Tease her till the very end. No, the fact that she has her clothes off does NOT mean it’s intercourse time. You can extend foreplay to the very end and bring her to delirious lust by using the head of your penis to tease her throbbing vagina. Just rub your the point of your manhood all over her vagina – especially her clit – and trust me, she’ll go wild with passion! I hope you thoroughly enjoy these foreplay tips! Just remember to vary your ‘foreplay moves’. Otherwise, everything becomes routine again! So for example, tonight, tease her from head to toe with your kissing, licking and nibbling and then next time, just go directly to her clit and lick away. This way, you’re Mr. Surprise and foreplay and sex with you is the best experience she’ll ever have. Enjoy!
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- 11 Foreplay Tips for Her I know ladies. Sometimes, it feels as if we’re the only ones in the relationship that likes foreplay. But that ain’t true. Sure, he may not initiate foreplay all the time (or maybe he doesn’t last very long during foreplay?) but believe me, guys like to experience foreplay too!
My First Foreplay Tip for You… I’ve had many female clients complain that they’re always the ones initiating foreplay and they’re tired of it(!) so… “what should I do Gabrielle?” This is the way I go about it. When you initiate foreplay, does he cut you short or does he participate? Do you ‘do all the work’ or does it get him in the mood that he ‘sexes you up’ too? My point is this: stop focusing on whether you INITIATE foreplay or not. If he’s not the type of guy to start it then he’s not the type of guy. Focus on what’s really important: the fact that you both get to do and enjoy foreplay in your sex life. Believe me, I counsel so many couples that are desperate to bring foreplay back so rejoice in the fact that you get to enjoy it!
And Now for More Practical, Naughty Foreplay Tips… Don’t fall into the trap of falling into a foreplay routine. Vary your moves and your man will not have a wandering eye and will always look forward to having hot sex with you. Don’t forget he’s a ‘visual’ kind of person. Luckily for us, men aren’t hard to bring to sexual thoughts. Use this to your advantage. So you want to have hot sex tonight? Do any one of these… all of them is a nice treat for him too! Take a hot shower… and then walk around the room naked. Your glistening body, eliciting just a hint of ‘hot smoke’ is enough to get his penis up! Take it up a notch tip: bend over! Touch yourself in the most casual way you can. For example, if you’re cooking and he’s in the kitchen, massage your breast (don’t wear a bra so he can see an erect nipple) and make it look like you’re doing it without realizing it! Take it up a notch tip: do the exact same thing… but this time do it on an inner thigh or even ‘gently massage’ your crotch. Read porn right in front of him. (This one doesn’t need explanation does it?) Take it up a notch tip: do this while not wearing underwear and be sure he gets a peek! Grab it! I always do this myself… At the most unsuspecting moments, I give my partner a hug and then make my way to grabbing his penis and I start rubbing my hand over it. Works every time! I told you it doesn’t take much to arouse a guy… Moan baby, moan! Apart from being very visual, men are also increasingly turned on by sounds of pleasure from our part. So when he starts to do something that is really getting you hot, show your appreciation by moaning like a purring cat! Lick his hole. Many men would never dare to ask their partners to lick him behind there; and many women find this act downright yucky. So here’s a tip because deep down inside, you BOTH will like it! If you have qualms about this, start foreplay in the shower. Soap each - 23 -
other, rub each other, and then get down on your knees. You can start with a slow blowjob and then start kissing and nibbling your way to his behind and then start licking it! This way, you’re assured that it’s clean and he’s not shocked with you just aiming for his hole. It’s a win-win situation! Play the ‘dominatrix’. Deep down inside, men liked to be dominated every now and then and foreplay is one of those instances when you really get to shine as a dominator. So the next time he tries to lick you or get on top of you, don’t let him! Instead, pin him down and ‘face sit’ him. If he’s into a bit of SM, use some handcuffs but absolute do not do this if he’s not comfortable with it. Remember that when it comes to foreplay, it’s not just all about ‘giving head’. Just like you, he likes his whole body loved and caressed as well even if he’s not as vocal about it as you are. So for foreplay tonight, give him the full-body foreplay treatment. He’ll be grateful and that means more foreplay… and orgasms for you!
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- 12 10 Foreplay DON’TS to Remember Sometimes, in our quest for better foreplay and better sex, we tend to get a bit carried away… to the point that we do things that TURN OFF our partners. Some of these mistakes are not just overzealousness but due to myths propagated in adult films and magazines. Well, to avoid these foreplay booboos, here’s a list of Ten Foreplay DON’TS.
In General… Take a shower and be properly groomed. I’m not talking about going to a salon here. Just ensure that your breath and body are clean. Also, if you’re planning to do some ‘poking’, ensure that you cut your nails down. Nothing hurts more than long nails, or can be more disgusting (in case you poke into something and er… take out something with your nails! Yuck!) Put on some music. Foreplay can be a very embarrassingly noisy event (wet slapping noises, an escaped fart or two, etc.). To hide these sounds, drown them out with a bit of sexy music. Don’t OVER-tongue him/her. Don’t ram your tongue into your partner’s eardrums or throat. It can be a complete turn off if he/she feels the need to tilt his/her head (from having clogged ears) or feels the need to gag. Don’t embarrass him/her. I once advised a client to ‘start foreplay early during the day’ and mentioned some of my ‘foreplay moves’ like rubbing against each other, dry humping, footsie playing, etc. Well, I guess my client got carried away as she tried footsie playing with him during a business dinner. She thought she was being ‘naughty’, he thought it was annoying. Moral lesson? Know WHEN to make your moves.
For Him Don’t twirl, tweak and twist her nipples hard. No. Despite what you often see in adult films, she really doesn’t like it if you play too roughly with her nipples. They need to be caressed, not manhandled. Don’t be the one to request to turn the lights off. Almost all women have body image issues. So don’t do her a favor by asking to have the lights off. In contrast, she’ll immediately think you find her body offensive in some way. If she’s not exactly the ‘cover girl’ type, don’t over compliment her either because she’ll know you’re lying. Instead, just tell her you prefer women with ‘curves’. Don’t go for G-spot stimulation if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing! Sure, G-spot stimulation can bring her almost sexual nirvana but it can be painful for her if you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m not saying don’t attempt it. Rather, be very attuned to how she responds to your fingers.
For Her Don’t ask him to wear a thong. Ladies, despite what you hear about the ‘metrosexual man’, don’t ask him to put on a thong. It really does turn most men OFF. - 25 -
Don’t smother him. He’s gone down on you and boy do you love it! You’re delirious with pleasure and because of this you… try to squeeze your thighs shut and/or start to grab his hair and knead his face against your crotch. Well, let’s see what you’re REALLY doing to him hear. With the first one, you’re like a praying mantis trying to squeeze and rip his head off. With the second one, you’re making it hard for him to breathe! Ease up girls. Show your appreciation the RIGHT way and he’s bound to lick you to the ends of the earth again. Don’t expect him to read your mind. One of the worse things you can do during foreplay is to expect him to know exactly what you want to happen. With this attitude, you’re really setting yourself (and him) for a foreplay disaster. Let him know that you like what he’s doing to you, or better yet, TELL him EXACTLY what you want done. He’ll appreciate it and you get what you want. Win-win! Foreplay is all about increasing sexual tension in a way that is pleasurable for you and your partner in more than just the sexual sense. It should be in an atmosphere of comfort and trust, and maybe even with a hint of sexual danger, and not be forced or selfish in any way. Think about this the next time you engage in foreplay with your partner and you’re bound to have a great and sexually thrilling time! By the way, do you have any foreplay don’ts you want to share? If you do, let me know will you? It’ll help everybody else who wants to engage in some good foreplay time!
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Conclusion Foreplay is a MUST in any successful and sexually-satisfying relationship. It keeps bonds exciting and makes you and your partner see each other in exhilarating ways. Without foreplay, sex seems to be just ‘intercourse’ instead of ‘love making’ and as thrilling as this may sound at the start of any relationship, this will soon be replaced by the feeling that sex is nothing but… regular routine between the sheets. This eBook has hopefully made you ‘see the light’ and has given you the ways by which you can bring back foreplay, passion and romance into your relationship. Sure, foreplay is not always a ‘spontaneous’ thing that you just start. Sometimes, it needs planning, cunning, and a little bit of ‘staging’. But then again, these are the things that make YOU endearing to your partner, which in return make all the effort worth it! Ok, I’ve done my part… now, it’s YOUR turn! Go and bring foreplay back in full force so that you can achieve a long-lasting, loving… and FOREVER HORNY relationship! Good luck!
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