FACTORS INFLUENCING MATE SELECTION In choosing a marriage partner, there are many social factors which are involved. • Propinquity Propinquity refers to the physical closeness that exists between two persons. Propinquity increases the probability for selection of a mate to take place. It is almost impossible to marry someone who lives so far away from you and whom you never meet. For example, a Mauritian woman is not likely to develop a love relationship with a man living miles away, for example in Texas, as she is unlikely to know that such a person exists. • Homogamy In principle, we are free to marry anyone we like. In practice, however, social forces influence the area in which we live; the school we attend and the people we meet limit our choices. The practise of homogamy refers to the tendency to marry someone who is like ourselves in the social attributes our society considers important” It is believed that 95% of the Americans marry someone of the same race, social class, age and educational level. Each of these criteria reduces an individual’s “pool of eligibles”. • Religion Religion plays a fundamental role in defining a person’s “pool of eligibles”. Given the process of socialisation and the norms and values we acquire since childhood, religion becomes an 102 important criteria in mate selection. However, religion is being replaced to some degree, by the educational criteria in the choice of mates. It can be added that intermarriage between people of different religions has increased while intermarriage between people with different levels of
education has decreased. The major reasons to explain this change are: – Education plays a vital role in determining one’s future earning potential and hence one’s social class and lifestyle. – The level of education has a strong impact on the values people hold with regard to marriage and family. – Compared to the past, today young people spend more time in school, thus increasing opportunities to meet and date fellow students. New ways of meeting potential mates have emerged, such as clubs, outings and e-mail computer networks. However, some people are attracted to those who have different characteristics from them. Differences mostly refer to personality traits rather than background. • Endogamy & Exogamy All societies regulate the pool of eligible from which individuals are expected to choose a partner. Even free choice does not mean that one can marry anyone. All societies have two types of marital regulations, which define the “right” spouse: endogamy and exogamy. 1. Endogamy is the requirement that marriage occurs within a group. Under these circumstances, people must marry within their class, race, ethnic group or religion. These factors are also the kinds of things considered by parents in arranged marriages. 2. The rule of exogamy declares that marriage occurs outside a group. Under these circumstances, people must marry outside their kin group, be it their immediate nuclear 103 family, clan or tribe. Exogamous rules are based primarily on kinship and usually entail incest taboos, rules that prohibit sexual intercourse with close blood relatives. • Interactive Disqualifications Other ways in which endogamy regulates mate selection involve the system of interaction – the flow of responses – that develops between two persons. “We just can’t get along” or “I just don’t
like him” are expressions which are often stated by many people due to a lack of empathy – an understanding of how another person feels and as a result communication problems arise. Interactional disqualification occurs when people cannot communicate properly. When they cannot share their feelings and meanings, each has to guess who the other is. As a result, when their expectations are not met, disappointment occurs.
