7WAYS TO
OUTWIT
APPETITE PROVEN TACTICS TO POWER UP YOUR DIET Q
4�LEGGED LEG GED HEROES ANIMAL LIFESAVERS
REAL-LIFE CRIME
A FA FAMI MIL LY OF BANK ROBBER ROBBERS S THE GOOD PIT BULL � HOURS OF
GREAT READING � PAGES OF
GREAT JOKES
PLUS TANGLE IN THE JUNGLE
BRYCE COURTENAY ON WHAT WORDS CAN DO
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Contents FEBRUARY 2015
Food and Diet
32
7 WAYS WAYS TO OUT OUTWIT WIT YOUR APPETITE
Would Would Batman Batman eat hot chips chips for dinner? You’ll You’ll be surprised how easy it is to curb cravings when you think think like a superhero superhero.. BRIAN WANSINK FROM SLIM BY DESIGN
Extraordinar y True Tales
40
AMAZING ANIMALS
Whether you’re fending fen ding off blubbery blubber y bullies bul lies or enraged bovines, help is at hand. JENNIFER S. HOLLAND FROM UNLIKELY HEROES
Hero Pets
48
THE GOOD PIT BULL
As her owner faces a deadly situation, Lilly the pit bull rewrites the story for her breed.
P.
ANITA BARTHOLEMEW
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Living Language
54 WORDS Much-loved Australian novelist Bryce Courtenay on his love of language. F R O M SILVER MOON: REFLECTIONS ON LIFE, DEATH AND WRITING
What It’s Like…
60
LOVE REIMAGINED
Jane Whitehead found love again – with the most unlikely suitor. AS TOLD TO EMILY CUNNINGHAM FROM THE GUARDIAN
First Person
64
THE TERRORIST’S SON
w o or d r s d t h a t s n u r s se e
ego
h e ea l a l
t r t h e a e h
His father chose a path of bigotry and hate. This son followed his mother and chose peace. ZAK EBRAHIM FROM THE TERRORIST’S SON
t h e a n d
P.
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Contents FEBRUARY 2015
Cheat Sheet
74
INSTANT ANSWERS: EBOLA The latest outbreak of this deadly virus has spurred anxiety and confusion. Here’s what you need to know. H A Z E L F L Y N N RD Interview
76
SIR WORLD WIDE WEB When he created the web, Sir Tim Berners-Lee had no inkling of its impact. M O H A N S I VA N A N D Drama In Real Life
82
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LOST ON THE VOLCANO Far from the surfing beaches and hula girls, an experienced hiker discovers Hawaii is full of surprises. A L B E R T S A M A H A FROM THE VILLAGE VOICE Who Made That?
90
NIGERIAN SCAM The lure of a fortune has been around for a very long time. D A N I E L E N G B E R FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES Against the Odds
92
THE GIRL WHO WOULDN’T BREAK Not even a rare genetic disorder can stop Jessica Bernstein from following her dreams. A N I TA B A R T H O L E M E W
Environment
98
TANGLE IN THE JUNGLE Climbing plants are choking tropical forests – and the outcome could be disastrous. W I L L I A M L A U R A N C E FROM THE
NEW SCIENTIST
True Crime
104
THE FAMILY THAT ROBBED BANKS Getting involved in the family business has its pros and cons. Some more than others. S K I P H O L L A N D S W O R T H FROM
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TEXAS MONTHLY
SUBSCRIBER
BONUS EXTRA 32PAGES
? N O ! I T E C T I O N S S I U D O N I N T E B R ISSUE THIS U R E P O K T H C O L O Sheepish Travel Encounters N T U The Forgotten Felon W O O T N T Medical Pros on the Road N E Can Meditation Slow Ageing? W A C R I B Test of Love ● ● ●
S B | 108 S U
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P.
REGULARS
HUMOUR
4
Letters
38
Laughter, the Best Medicine
7
Editor’s Note
58
Life’s Like That
8
Staff Pick
72
All in a Day’s Work
10
My Story
12
Kindness of Strangers
14
Unbelievable
63
That’s Outrageous
16
Health
Quotable Quotes
22
Food
114
Smart Animals
24
Home
122
Puzzles , Trivi a & Word Power
26
Work
28
Travel
30
Etc
116
Movies & Books
81
CONTESTS 4
Caption Competition
6
Jokes and Stories
THE DIGEST
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Letters READERS’ COMMENTS AND OPINIONS
Lessons from the Playground “Let Kids Take Risks” (December) should be translated into every language and a copy given to all parents on the birth of a child. Only then will we manage to get the message across. I was fortunate in growing up: there was a surf beach at my front door, mountains at my back door and a free-flowing creek to the side. From about age three, I spent many hours playing in all areas. I recall being very scared while climbing over large rocks in the creek but pushed on and learnt a safer route the next time. Kids need to make a lot of decisions for themselves in order to make sensible decisions later in life. ROSS TAYLOR
I completely agree with the author of “Let Kids Take Risks”. How blessed my siblings and I were to be raised in the ’40s and ’50s, before the madness of “protection” became the norm. JOAN SMITH I was very unsettled by Hanna Rosin’s assertions. This article left me feeling like I was doing my children a disservice by taking care of them. BETH HEADLEY
Classics Collection Thank you so much for this special collection (RD Classic Reads, December). I have been receiving the 4
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Reader’s Digest since 1966 and although I’ve moved house seven times I have taken all my Reader’s Digests with me. I even remember some of these stories! MARIANNE FRASER “The Little Boat That Sailed Through Time” (RD Classic Reads) has real WRITE TO US
If you are moved – or provoked – by any item in the magazine, write to us. Refer to page 6 for the editorial contact details in your region.
lessons. By being self-dependent, we can enjoy life’s blessings without being held back by the tears it also thrusts in our eyes. I made both my children read the story so that they could absorb the resilience of the little boat. B. JINDAL
A Pope For Our Time I recently had the pleasure of meeting Pope Francis (“The Pope Who Burns With Joy”, December). It is an experience I will never forget. He greeted all the disabled (myself included) individually and asked us to pray for him. He is the Pope the church has needed. LAURA GALBO
Scary Summer Days Halfway through “Terror at the Beach” (November), I was almost afraid to continue reading for fear of the next scare! SARA BALIGH
Caption Contest WE ASKED YOU TO THINK UP A FUNNY CAPTION FOR THIS PHOTO.
Christmas at the Cheapskates. CAROLINE ANNE KELLY
The Halitosis Anonymous year-end function. MICHAEL GOATHAM ‘’Who has the sports page?’’ SIVALINGUM THAVER
The Feast of the Last Letters. PIERRE DU PLESSIS
“I think something was lost in translation: I said, ‘The service sucks’, not, ‘Suck the serviettes’.” ROBIN PALMER
Yeah, I tried Atkins, but the Napkins SARA CALMAN Diet really works.
W IN ! K C O T S K N I H T : S O T O H P
CAPTION CONTEST Come up with the funniest caption for the above photo and you could win cash. To enter, see details on page 6.
Mmmm...
a bit bland if you ask me. BRAYDEN EVA
Where is that dog when you need him? How much more homework is there?! SCOTT CRUMLIN
Congratulations to Sara Calman.
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Vol. 188 No. 1115 February 2015
EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief Sue Carney Editor RD Asia Siti Rohani Design Director John Yates Managing Editor Louise Waterson Chief Subeditor & Production Editor Donyale Harrison Deputy Chief Subeditor Melanie Egan Designer Luke Temby Photo Editor Judith Love Digital Editor & Humour Editor Greg Barton Subeditor Hannah Hempenstall Editorial Coordinator Sally McMullen Contributing Editors Hazel Flynn; Helen Signy PRODUCTION & MARKETING Production Manager Balaji Parthsarathy Marketing Director Jason Workman Marketing Manager Gala Mechkauskayte ADVERTISING Group Advertising Director, Asia Pacific Sheron White Advertising Sales Manager Darlene Delaney REGIONAL ADVERTISING CONTACTS Asia Kahchi Liew,
[email protected] Australia Darlene Delaney,
[email protected] New Zealand Debbie Bishop,
[email protected] South Africa Michéle de Chastelain,
[email protected] PUBLISHED BY READER’S DIGEST (AUSTRALIA) PTY LTD Managing Director/Publisher Walter Beyleveldt Director Lance Christie READER’S DIGEST ASSOCIATION, INC (USA) President and Chief Executive Officer Bonnie Kintzer Vice President, Chief Operating Officer, International Brian Kennedy Editor-in-Chief, International Magazines Raimo Moysa ALL RIGHTS RESERVED THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. REPRODUCTION IN ANY MANNER I N WHOLE OR PART IN ENGLISH OR OTHER LANGUAGES PROHIBITED
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CONTRIBUTE FOR DIGITAL EXTRAS AND SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS, SEE PAGE 17.
Anecdotes and jokes Send in your real-life laugh for Life’s Like That or All in a Day’s Work. Got a joke? Send it in for Laughter is the Best Medicine!
Smart Animals Share antics of unique pets or wildlife in up to 300 words.
Kindness of Strangers Share your moments of generosity in 100–500 words.
My Story Do you have an inspiring or life-changing tale to tell? Submissions must be true, unpublished, original and 800–1000 words – see website for more information.
Letters to the editor, caption competition and other reader submissions
Online Follow the “Contribute” link at the Reader’s Digest website in your region.
Email AU:
[email protected] NZ:
[email protected] South Africa:
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[email protected] We may edit submissions and use them in all media. See website for full terms and conditions. TO SERVE YOU BETTER – OUR PRIVACY STATEMENT Reader’s Digest collects your information to provide our products and services and may also use your information for the marketing purposes of RD and/ or selected corporate partners. If the information is not provided you will be unable to access our products or services. Our Privacy Policy at the Reader’s Digest website in your region contains full details on how your information is used (including READER’S IS PRINTED ON PEFC-CERTIFIED how weDIGEST may share your information with our affiliate PAPER. THIS PROVIDES AN ASSURANCE THAT THE companies in the US or other overseas entities), how PAPER IS PRODUCED FROM SUSTAINABLY MANAGED you may access or correct information held and our FOREST AND CONTROLLED SOURCES. privacy complaints process.
Editor’s Note Making a Choice I FIRST HEARD OF ZAK EBRAHIM last
R E U A B M I T Y B D E H P A R G O T O H P
March when he stood on stage at a TED conference in Vancouver. Also talking at the sessions were such luminaries as Bill and Melinda Gates and Sting. Yet the audience of 1900 or so watching live, and the more than two million people who have since downloaded Zak’s talk via ted.com or the TED app, were awed by a gently courageous individual who could so easily have chosen not to step up into the spotlight. This issue we are pleased to bring you an extract from Zak Ebrahim’s book, The Terrorist’s Son (page 64). When Zak was seven his father shot and killed a rabbi in New York City. Then from his prison cell, the extremist helped organise the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center that killed six people. Eventually Zak’s mother demanded a divorce, she changed the family’s last name, moved, and mother and children carved out a new life. But Zak can’t ignore the truth that he has his father’s blood in his veins. Zak spent years coming to terms with what that means. He admits wrestling with anger, fear and self loathing. Now through his unique perspective, he has decided that although he can’t choose what he is – a terrorist’s son – he can choose who he wants to be. And that is someone who speaks out against bigotry, zealotry and violence. Zak Ebrahim is a force for peace. Don’t miss his story.
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STAFF PICK
The Best Story Is... One of the great things about putting together the magazine is that the staff get to read all the stories first. Needless to say, animals featured high in our favourites
I had so much fun working on the “Amazing Animals” piece (page 40). All animals are amazing in their own ways, but some of these stories are truly extraordinary. My personal preference would have to be the inspiring tale of Alyna, the real-life Energiser bunny! SALLY MCMULLEN, editorial coordinator
“Love Reimagined” (page 60) is my fave for this month - a beautiful love story told by a lovely, patient, compassionate human being. JUDITH LOVE, photo editor
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Gimpy the seal won our admiration, too
My favourite story in February is “The Good Pit Bull” (page 48). I love that animals can sense when a human is in danger and that they go out of their way to help them. Lilly is the epitome of a selfless, loyal dog who puts her life on the line to save her owner. Makes my heart melt. HANNAH HEMPENSTALL, subeditor
I really enjoyed “Sheepish Travel Encounters” (Subscriber Bonus, print edition). I love all kinds of animals but sheep have to be one of my favourites. Maybe that’s because my Mum has a small flock of her own on her farm. They are surprisingly intelligent, designer friendly animals! LUKE TEMBY,
It isn’t easy to write about losing a loved one, but this month’s My Story (page 10) tackles this subject beautifully. With delicate insight, the author portrays his own loss by drawing on the story of a pair of birds he’d come to observe and whose calls he’d enjoyed hearing. It’s magical. LOUISE WATERSON, managing editor
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Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the inventor of the world wide web (page 76), recognised the potential of sharing the power of millions of computers. Eschewing material gain, instead he made a commitment to improve people’s lives and maintain an open, free web accessible to all. As he says, “I think everybody who’s been involved in it has a large responsibility to make sure that the web really does serve the needs of humanity.” MELANIE EGAN, deputy chief subeditor
As a keen walker, I found “Lost on the Volcano” (page 82) to be terrifying and inspiring in equal parts. It was frightening to see just how easy it is for even well-known territory to become unrecognisable as bad weather rolls in. My only comfort was the professionalism and dedication of the rescue teams who tried to find the lost walker. DONYALE HARRISON, chief subeditor
My favourite story this month is “7 Ways to Outwit Your Appetite” (page 32). I found myself nodding a lot when reading the article and I’m starting to put some tips into action, specifically the one that says you should rearrange your fridge to make sure that the first visible foods are best for you. So I’m banishing snacks to hard-to-reach places! SITI ROHANI, Asia editor February
2015
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MY STORY
A husband learns some valuable lessons about life, love and loss from a pair of songbirds
Birds of Paradise BY ERIC PROVIS
IN MA NY WAYS, some
bird species are like human beings. They mate for life and they miss their partner when tragedy strikes. As a boy living on a farm near the township of Tumby Bay, on the Eyre Peninsula in South Australia, I was privileged to see a variety of birds in their natural habitat. I soon became familiar with their various calls of danger, songs of happiness and laments to their loves. I stayed on the farm until I married my wife Colleen in 1949 and moved to a smaller farm in the same district. When my son Ross left school and showed an interest in farming, I sold our farm and bought a larger property for the two of us to work on. At the same time, I leased another property close by which became home to Colleen and myself. Close to the homestead was a patch of bushland that was inhabited by many species of birds, including a beautiful pair of western thrush. The male’s joyous song could be heard throughout the day and I always thought it was a proclamation of the happiness he felt with his partner by his side. One day, I noticed the female fly out from the pine near the garage. Curiosity got the better of me and, on inspection of the tree, I found a nest with four tiny eggs in it. No wonder the male kept singing his happy song as he was to become a father. Several days after I found the nest we experienced an extremely windy day. This was unusual for that time of year in early October, when the weather is usually very pleasant. A few days after this windstorm, I realised the male had
ERIC PROVIS ,
90, lives in Inverell, NSW, and has a strong appreciation for wildlife.
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E M O C O T : O T O H P
He must have missed her because in the following days, the male thrush continued to call pleadingly for her. Eventually, there was silence. I NEVER HEARD the
thrush again. Did he leave that area of the bush to seek another mate, or did grief overcome him to the stage that he could not sing anymore? I will never know, but I do know that area of bushland was never Western thrush the same without his generally remain joyful song. together for life Recently, I lost Colleen, my dear wife stopped singing his cheerful song and loving partner for over 60 years. and was now producing a more And though more than 30 years have passed since that little bird lost his distressed call for his mate. He kept calling for her over the next few loved one, during my time of grief, my thoughts often turn to him. Like him, days and I decided to check the nest. To my distress, I found the female I also feel the loss of the one I cherish most. I would like to believe that thrush dead in the nest with her wings outstretched covering her Paradise has a place for birds and that the pair of western thrush will one newborn chicks in an attempt to shield them from the heat and wind. day be reunited, and once again we Unfortunately, her effort was in vain. may hear his joyful song. Saddened, I left it as I found it. I Do you have a tale to tell? couldn’t help but ponder that she We’ll pay cash for any original could have abandoned the nest to and unpublished story we print. seek protection in the bush, but See page 6 for details on how realised a mother’s love is too great. to contribute. February
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THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
Two very different people who reached out to help feed those less fortunate – in very different ways
Pay It Forward BY SALLY MCMULLEN
AS RYAN LEE COX was
waiting to pay for his coffee order at an Indiana, US fast food drive-through, he decided to try something he’d seen on a TV news show – he paid for the coffee order of the driver in the car behind. The small gesture made the young Indianapolis entrepreneur feel great, so he shared his experience on Facebook. An old friend suggested that rather than paying for people’s coffee, Ryan put that money towards An Indianapolis man’s “paying it forward” organisation is helping kids in need enjoy their school lunches
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helping school students pay off their delinquent school lunch accounts. Sometimes because of economic hardship, the accounts fall into negative balance and the kids suffer. She got the idea after hearing that a Utah student was denied lunch. So the following week Ryan visited his nephew’s school cafeteria and asked if he could pay off some accounts, and handed over $100. Overwhelmed by his generosity, the supervisor began paying off fines before Ryan asked what the entire school’s balance for lunches was. It was $1261.98. “I’ll see you next Friday,” he told the supervisor. When he got home, Ryan shared what he had done on social media, and that he intended to help Lakeside Elementary have no lunch accounts in the negative. He set up a PayPal account and encouraged people to donate. Their target was reached in a matter of days. With more than enough money to pay off Lakeside,
K C O T S K N I H T ; S E G A M I Y T T E G : S O T O H P
Ryan contacted another school. Within two weeks they had raised $4142.82 and were able to help four schools. Inspired by people’s enthusiasm, Ryan organised a nonprofit called Feed The Kids, Inc., which offers a website, www.kidslunches.org, for people to start campaigns for specific schools or to set up recurring payments to sponsor a student. Today, this “paying it forward” organisation is onto its fifth school.
The Midnight Run BY KRISTOPHER EVANS
are notoriously cold, and 2014 brought some of our coldest days, with minimums often at -5°C or below. A habitual procrastinator, one weekday night I found myself trudging off to the local supermarket before it closed at midnight. As I approached, I noticed a group of six or seven people sitting by the supermarket entrance. Aware of the dangers of late-night walking, I made sure I paid attention. The scene ahead looked unusual. And unusual it was. Expecting to see a group of potential troublemakers, I found a frail, well-dressed old man distributing items of food to a group of homeless people. Rather than just feeding them, he was also engaging them in a circle of warm discussion, gesticulating broadly and flashing a wise, friendly smile. Compared to him, his conversation CANBERRA WINTERS
partners were rough-looking and shabbily dressed, with bushy facial hair and faces etched with hardship. But they listened to the man with rapt attention, not just obligatory gratitude for the food they had been given. With no charity van in sight, this old man was only representing himself and sharing his midnight zest with those far less fortunate. After I finished shopping, the group was still there, food consumed, but all laughing. If a frail old man can give to others in the freezing cold at midnight, what excuse do we have? Kristopher Evans lives in the Australian Capital Territory and has a passion for European travel, writing, politics and philosophy.
Share your story about the kindness of strangers and win cash. Turn to page 6 for details on how to contribute to the magazine. February 2015 •
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Unbelievable TRUE TALES TOLD TALL
The Importance of Overreacting More is definitely more, according to Nury Vittachi A COLLEAGUE ACCUSED me
of having a tendency to overreact. I immediately threatened to burn down his house and curse his family for seven generations. I know many people think overreacting is a bad thing, but I’m 14
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not convinced. I learned the importance of overreacting from a former boss, who is now a very successful man. He used to yell this at least once a day: “Some moron has moved my [object] and when I find out who did it, God help me, I am
R E N Y O J W E R D N A : N O I T A R T S U L L I
going to TEAR that person limb from sodium polyacrylate complained limb with my bare… oh, there it is.” about his class? A: You guys always After much research (read: scanning overreact.” OK, but I prefer jokes that news stories sent in by readers), I work without the listener having to found that we’re in good company take a quick science degree between because the police have a tendency to set-up and punch line. overreact, too. A reader sent me a In the interest of balance, I must video of a dramatic police chase in also state that there are instances Michigan, US, where a man on where overreacting is not advisable. a moped was pursued by Over in Norway, residents at least ten patrol cars. For of a building called the those who don’t know, a police when they heard Residents called loud screaming coming moped is a motorbike the police when from an apartment. When powered by an electric toothbrush. I had one they heard loud police officers responded once, but gave it up when screaming … it to the call, they expected I realised it was faster for to find a gruesome scene. turned out to be me to walk. What they found was screams from a much worse. The Within days, the US’s northern neighbours had man who had lost screaming came from a got in on the action. a game of chess man who was unusually Heavily armed tactical angry at his computer for officers were sent to a constantly beating him at block of flats in Ontario, after residents chess. I don’t blame him. I hate it complained of loud noises that when inanimate objects are better sounded like gunshots. It turned out to than me at things. be a resident who was repeatedly However, I still intend to follow the slamming his heavy door. Canadians example of my former boss, so this is are so mild-mannered that the sudden aimed at my subeditors: you changed noise caused residents to call the a word in my column. I will now have police, not knowing whether it was a to hurt you and scatter the cubed door slamming, a gun being fired, or pieces of your corpse over a wide somebody hitting something with area of remote scrubland. Success, something else, such as a portion of here I come! poutine [hot chips with gravy and [Careful, Nury, our hobbies include archery and cheese curds]. random adjective deletion. Love, the subeditors] One reader helpfully contributed a joke on the topic. “Q: What did the Nury Vittachi is a Hong Kong-based author. Read his blog at Mrjam.org chemistry lecturer say when H 2O and February
2015
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THE DIGEST HEALTH
HOT TOPIC
Q: ADHD - Should We Be Medicating Our Kids? about using drugs to treat kids with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), making a decision about medication can be difficult for families. Here are some facts: With the continuing negative publicity
WHAT IS IT? ADHD is a behavioural
disorder that removes the ability to concentrate or control impulses. THE CASE AGAINST
Although stimulant medications, such as Ritalin and amphetamines, have been used to treat ADHD since the ’80s, we still do not know much about their long-term side effects. In the short term, they can cause decreased 16
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appetite and weight loss, insomnia, stomach problems and irritability, depression and anxiety. In extreme cases, side effects can include hallucinations and psychosis. There’s also concern that children are kept on the drugs for too long, and that some doctors rely too heavily on medication, instead of suggesting psychological or behaviourmanagement counselling. Much of the anti-ADHD medication
K C O T S K N I H T : O T O H P
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Talk About It CONNECT WITH RD ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Every month we hear from readers about stories you love, questions you want followed up and topics you’d like to hear more about. Now the conversation has grown outside the pages of your favourite magazine. Follow us on social media for story extras, mag insights, and ways to get more out of your Reader’s Digest. K C O T S K N I H T : S O T O H P
Asia: READERSDIGESTASIA
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HEALTH
hype is centred on their over-use, especially in pre-schoolers (threeto five-year-olds). In the US, there are reports that drugs like Ritalin and Adderall are given to about three million children a year. THE CASE FOR A
few doctors in countries such as Australia, New Zealand and South Africa believe that ADHD is under-diagnosed and under-treated. Medication – often in combination with counselling and coaching – may be the only way some children with ADHD can develop into productive, confident and happy adults. The key is to get the right dose and to have regular
reviews. “The debate on whether medication is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is unhelpful,” says Associate Professor Michael McDowell, a Queensland paediatrician. “The more important question is how best to use medications, when they are necessary, to assist children towards achieving personal best development and wellbeing.” CONCLUSION A
management plan for children with ADHD should include coaching to help manage symptoms, a coordinated approach by parents and schools to set structure, routines and clear boundaries – and, if necessary, trialling medications.
GOOD HABITS
SIMPLE WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR LUNG POWER 1. Breathe from your abdomen at least five minutes a day. This is diaphragmatic breathing, which involves training and strengthening your diaphragm so that it requires less effort to take in each breath. 2. Eat apples A study found that people who crunched into more than five a week had improved lung function, less wheeziness and fewer asthma-like symptoms. 3. Look on the bright side of life Harvard researchers followed 670 men with an average age of 63. After
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eight years, the optimists had much better lung function and a slower rate of lung-function decline than their pessimistic peers. 4. Read the small print on household cleaners Some products, such as oven cleaner, can be toxic if inhaled. If the instructions say open a window, be sure to follow them. 5. Have a glass of white Wine – particularly white wine – seems to help your lungs, possibly because of high antioxidant levels. But you can’t substitute other tipples.
DIY CHECK
3 Ways to Keep Tabs on Your Weight WAIST-TO-HIP RATIO Measuring
WAIST MEASUREMENTS. Your
your waist-to-hip ratio is an accurate way of monitoring changes to your body shape. How do you do it? Grab a tape measure and wrap it around your middle, where your belly button sits. Then do the same around your hips’ widest point. Then divide the waist measurement by the hips measurement. A ratio of abo ve 0.8 indicates you could be carrying an unhealthy amount of abdominal fat.
essential organs – liver, spleen, heart, kidneys and lungs – are located just above the waist region. Carrying any extra weight around your waist brings additional burden to these organs, making it harder for them to work efficiently. How big is too big? For men, try to stay under 94cm and for women 80cm.
BODY MASS INDEX (BMI) It’s
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thrown around a lot these days – but your BMI is a number that indicates your weight in relation to your height. A healthy BMI is between 18.5 and 25. A BMI above this can mean an increased risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes, both common weight-related conditions. What’s your BMI? Simply divide your weight in kilograms by your height in metres squared. Easier still, Google “BMI Calculator” and enter your measurements. February 2015
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HEALTH
NEWS FROM THE
World of Medicine Back Pain Myth Patients commonly believe weather affects back pain, but a study conducted by researchers at the University of Sydney and published in Arthritis Care & Research found otherwise. Over a one-year period, 993 patients who consulted a GP were asked to report any instances when they experienced sudden, acute back pain. Researchers then matched patient reports to weather conditions for a week and a month before the onset of pain. They found no link to changes in weather conditions, such as temperature, humidity or rainfall.
When Optimism Backfires People with low selfesteem don’t want a pep talk during hard times, according to researchers at the University of Waterloo, Canada. Researchers discovered that young adults with low self-esteem did not find encouragement to see the glass as half full helpful. Rather, participants with low 20
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self-esteem preferred supports who acknowledged their situation was difficult. “If your attempt to point out the silver lining is met with a sullen reminder of the prevailing dark cloud, you might do best to just acknowledge the cloud and sympathise,” said lead author Professor Denise Marigold.
Music Can Make You Strong A study conducted by Northwestern and Columbia Universities in the US investigated the effect of power-related music on our psyche. Participants who listened to bassheavy music reported feeling more powerful than those who listened to the same tunes with a reduced bass. The “bass-heavy” listeners also selected more power-related words in a word-completion task “Empowering music might be used strategically to get us in the right frame of mind,” says study leader Derek Rucker. Previous research found that feelings of power lead to better performance in interview situations.
S E H R O O V M A D A : O T O H P
TRENDING
Coconut Oil and the Heart: Is It Hype Or Healthy? BY HELEN SIGNY
is the new “hearthealthy” fat, claiming to make you slimmer, stop sugar cravings and even reduce fine lines. Too good to be true? Possibly. With the popularity of coconut oil surging, the New Zealand Heart Foundation carefully analysed the scientific literature. COCONUT OIL
THE HYPE Coconut
oil is marketed as a healthier fat because it contains medium-chain triglycerides (MCT), which are not as bad for you as transfats and are metabolised quickly to make energy, rather than being stored in the body as fat. It’s claimed that adding a few teaspoons to your daily diet will help with weight loss as well as staving off diabetes and reducing sugar cravings. WHAT DOES THE SCIENTIFIC K C O T S K N I H T : O T O H P
LITERATURE SHOW?
An academic paper commissioned for the New Zealand Heart Foundation by Dr Laurence Eyres, says all the research shows that coconut oil is not as good for you as unsaturated plant
oils. Like other saturated fats, coconut oil raises cholesterol (though not by as much as butter). He says switching to coconut oil is likely to lead to less favourable lipid profiles and potential increased risk of coronary heart disease. Research often quoted to support the use of coconut oil was largely based on animal studies or interpreted from research on MCT oils. But the triglycerides in coconut oil could not be classed as MCTs, meaning the research quoted was not relevant, he says. SO WHAT’S THE BEST ADVICE?
While the occasional use of coconut oil is fine, if you’re using it a lot because you believe it to be healthy, you should either cut back or blend in some unsaturated cold-pressed oil such as olive, avocado or canola. “Traditionally, coconut oil hasn’t been recommended because it is extremely high in saturated fat. This advice remains, despite the large number of marketing claims to the contrary,” says Eyres. February 2015
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FOOD
Packed with antioxidants, fibre, vitamins – and no hype
Everyday Superfruits Every so often little-known fruits are plucked from obscurity to be acclaimed as the latest nutritional miracle. Think acai berry and goji berry. Studies suggest that more readily available fruits have equal or superior powers. Here are some: Apples: French
research reveals that two substances found in apples – boron and a flavonoid called phloridzin – may increase bone density and protect against osteoporosis. Other studies suggest that eating apples may greatly reduce the risk of developing cancers of the lung, colon, liver and breast.
Blueberries: One cup (150g) of
blueberries supplies 24% of your daily vitamin C needs and about 14% of your fibre needs. It also contains vitamin K and the trace mineral, manganese – all for only 250kJ. Blueberries also contain a diverse group of phytochemicals that help decrease inflammation that leads to chronic diseases. Research has linked them to heart, cognitive and eye health benefits. Raspberries, blackberries and strawberries also qualify for superfood status. Citrus Fruits: All these fruits are
low in kilojoules and packed with helpful nutrients. UK research in 2011 suggested that the flavanones in citrus fruit may protect against stroke and heart disease. Studies also show that a high intake of citrus fruits can reduce the risk of stomach cancer by 28%. This is one of the most nutritionally powerful fruits. A single large kiwifruit contains a day’s worth of vitamin C, and is one of the few fruits to contain vitamin E. Kiwifruit also offers fibre and potassium. Kiwifruit:
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Food-Storage Tricks the Package Won’t Tell You Store the sweet crystals with “friends” to prevent hardening. Transfer to an airtight plastic container and include items like marshmallows, a slice of bread, or apple slices; the sugar will soak up the moisture and stay soft. Or, invest in a Brown Sugar Bear. Soak the reusable terracotta teddy in water for 20 minutes and store with your sugar to prevent hardening or to soften sugar that’s become a brick. BROWN SUGAR
Keep whole-wheat flour chilled. High oil levels in the wheat germ can make this baking staple go rancid if kept in the pantry too long. If you use it frequently, store in an air-tight container in the fridge, where it can last two to six months. Sniff to check freshness – it should be almost completely odourless. Toss it if it smells sharp or bitter. Regular white flour can last about a year in the pantry in an airtight container. FLOUR
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CHEESE Let
it breathe. Wrap cheese in porous
material. If you don’t have cheese paper, parchment will also work. Avoid tinfoil and tight plastic wrap. Failing to expose cheese to enough oxygen will cause it to dry out quickly. BUTTER You
can freeze bars you don’t plan to use quickly. In the fridge, unopened butter should last about four months. It can stay in the freezer for about a year. Leave in the wrapping, then enclose in double plastic freezer bags. Stash red spices in the fridge. Paprika, cayenne powder, and chilli powder will stay fresher and keep their colour – which can be dulled by light and heat – longer.
RED SPICES
Stick to small bottles unless you’re heavyhanded. Once opened, olive oil can go rancid in as little as three months (even though the bottle might say it will last longer). Fresh olive oil smells like green, ripe olives and has a bright, peppery taste with a kick; be war y of a putty-like odour, which indicates spoilage. OLIVE OIL
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HOME
Cut Kitchen Cleaning Time in Half Save time with these tips on cleaning
common kitchen items: DISHWASHER Load small things in BLENDER Fill it one-third full with
warm water and a few drops of dishwashing liquid. Run it for ten seconds. Rinse and dry.
the dishwasher first. If the big things like pots don’t fit, it’s easier to hand wash a few of them than loads of small ones. EGG, MILK AND CHEESE RESIDUE
Rinse dishes with cold water first; then wash with hot water. Hot water can “cook” foods onto surfaces, making them harder to scrub. BOX GRATER Clean
soft cheese from a grater by rubbing a raw potato or cut lemon over the grater openings. PLASTIC CONTAINERS Wash with a
solution of 4 tablespoons bicarbonate of soda to 250ml warm water to remove oil stains. Rinse and dry. GREASY DISHES Add a couple of
tablespoons of white vinegar to the rinse water to make dishes sparkle. 24
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K C O T S K N I H T : S O T O H P
Extend the life of your soft furnishings
How to Keep Upholstered Furniture Looking Good REMOVING STAINS FROM UPHOLSTERY
residue and vacuum any spills at once. Remove stains by working from the outside towards the middle to avoid leaving an outline. nSprinkle fresh grease and oil stains with talcum powder or cornflour. Leave it to set and absorb the grease, and then brush it off. nDab older grease stains with an ammonia solution or cologne, then carefully rub with water. nTreat milk spots immediately with cold water or moisturising soap and lukewarm water. To finish, pat dry. nClean washable leather with a soap solution (1 teaspoon liquid soap in 1 litre of water). Wring out the cloth
thoroughly before wiping the leather. Allow the furniture to dry, then buff.
nRemove
MAINTAINING UPHOLSTERY
Clean upholstered furniture regularly with the vacuum cleaner, but reduce the suction to avoid damaging the under padding. n Clean synthetic covers by dipping a cloth dampened with water in a little bicarbonate of soda and gently rubbing the cushion with it. Go over it again with a water and soap solution. Test this on the reverse side (or a corner) first. n Remove water-soluble stains from leather upholstery with a damp cloth and moisturising soap foam; wipe with warm water. n
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WORK
Turn a negative review into positive results
How to Survive a Bad Performance Review from your boss is never pleasant. Here’s how to react to the bad news so you can move onwards and upwards. Getting a negative review
Maintain your composure, at least until the review is over and you are outside the office. You can let your boss know you are surprised or disappointed, but don’t get emotional or defensive. TAKE A DEEP BREATH
ASK FOR SPECIFIC WAYS YOU CAN
Don’t only ask “what can I do to improve my performance?” Instead, focus on specific examples to get as many useful tips as possible. IMPROVE
reveals more than their choice of words. Take their mood as much as the content of the review into account. SAY “THANK YOU”. YES, REALLY
It is always important to thank your boss for their feedback. If you don’t agree with their assessment, you can say, “Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with me. I really appreciate your feedback.” ASK TO REVISIT THE SITUATION
LISTEN FOR FEELINGS, NOT JUST WORDS
Often a person’s emotions
Before you leave, say something like “You’ve given me a lot to think about, and I’d like to continue with the conversation after I have some time to reflect on this.” Determine both a long-term objective and short-term goals. If you have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish in a month and how you want to get there, you’ll have a greater sense of focus when trying to improve your performance. MAKE NEW GOALS
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K I H C A K N H O J : N O I T A R T S U L L I
Five steps to making meetings better bet ter
How How to Run a Meeting Meeting “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason the human race has not
achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.” These are the words of humorist Dave Barry, with which many of us would agree agree.. But it doesn’t doesn’t have have to be this way. way. Some tips tips for havin having g a good one: 1. Start 1. Start and end strongly. Running
K C O T S K N I H T : O T O H P
productive meetings boils down to opening with an objective, sticking to a purpose and closing with a plan for what happens next. 2. Pick a leader. Assign someone to lead. “The worst thing you can do is go into a meeting with no-one in charge,” says top executive Charles Hyle. “It turns into a shouting match.” 3. Think 3. Think small. Be realistic about what you can accomplish. accomplish. By the same token, keep the number of attendees manageable to stimulate discussion. 4. Direct, don’t dominate. “People hate it when they can’t get their work done because they have to go to somebody else’s meeting,” meeting,” says Columbia Business School professor professor Michael Feiner. So encourage others to speak up and get involved. 5. Lay down the rules of
Everyone should understand who will take notes and how decisions will be made. Remember that consensus is typically engagement.
a bad thing. “It means there isn’t enough dialogue or debate,” says Feiner. “That’s the lifeblood of any innovative organisation.” Jon Petz, the author of Boring Meetings Suck , suggests assigning follow-up tasks during the final five to ten minutes, then reiterating them later in a group email so there’s no confusion. February
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TRAVEL
It’s time for an upgrade
How to Tra How Trav vel Five-Sta Five-Starr on a Thr Three-Star ee-Star Budget Budget stayed in hostels and bunked on the sofa of some distant relatives. Now it’s time to travel in style. Sally McMullen suggests different things you can do to ensure you have the holiday of your dreams
You’ve been backpacking,
I f ASK ABOUT HOTEL UPGRADES If
BECOME A HIGH-FLIER The best way
you want wa nt somethi somet hing, ng, ask a sk for it! it ! When W hen you arriv ar rive e at your you r hotel, ask as k the t he front desk what the price would be for a better room. You can often get an upgrade at a heavily reduced price if there are nicer rooms sitting empty. When booking, booki ng, ask a sk for inclusion i nclusionss at the resort, such as credits at the hotel spa or drinks at the bar. This works especially well during the off-season, when even ev en premium premiu m resorts resor ts are a re fighting fig hting for your stay.
to get a flight upgrade is to earn status credits, as opposed to frequent flyer points. For example, Qantas has five levels of status (Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum and Platinum One) and you get credits every time you fly. The higher the status, the more chance you’ll be upgraded. upgraded. If you haven’t earned a high enough status, there’s no harm in asking for an upgrade when checking in. TRAVEL TRA VEL IN THE OFF-SEASON Avoid
school holidays and public holidays. You’ll You’ll have a better chance of scoring reduced rates at luxury properties in Thailand during winter or Bali during the wet season, and try May or September when travelling to Europe. GET SOCIAL Follow your favourite
travel companies and airlines on social media and wait as great deals land on your Facebook feed. 28
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S E G A M I Y T T E G : O T O H P
Common Tra Trav vel Booki Booking ng Mistakes Mistakes can easily happen and often
end up costing you the money you’ve saved by booking online. According to a recent survey of almost 10,000 Australians, it was revealed that one in four fou r have made massive blunders when booking bo oking online. Most of the top t op five fiv e errors were innocent in nocent mistakes: mistakes : 1. Not 1. Not reading the fine print After
surfing the web for hours to find that perfect holiday deal, reading the fine print is probably the last thing you want to do. do. However, However, it could be the difference between a stress-free holiday and a complete disaster. Make sure to always have a calendar at hand when booking your flights and hotels. “If you’re travelling between different time zones, make sure to double check your arrival date with the airline before booking your hotel stay,” says Adam Schwab, CEO of www.LuxuryEscapes. www.LuxuryEscapes.com. com. 2. Booking the wrong dates
3. Not checking validity periods,
4. Entering the wrong name You may
laugh, but this is a common mistake many online travellers make. If you know you experience butter fingers while typing, it’s it’s best to re-read every detail a few times before confirming to avoid embarrassing phone calls to rectify the mistake.
surcharges and black-out periods
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In order to evade unexpected costs, it is important to pay special attention to double-check these three things. “Pay extra attention to validity periods, extra person surcharges, kids’ policies, policies, transfers costs as well as cancellation and amendment policy,” says Schwab.
5. Working solo It’s easy to become
overwhelmed by all the dates and fine print so before you confirm your trip have your partner or friend read through all the travel details before booking and paying, suggests Schwab. Chances are, they’ll pick up anything you may have have missed. February
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ETC
We wear some weird and wonderful labels, here’s why
How Your Favourite Sneakers Got Their Names BY SALLY MCMUL LEN
When Converse had modest sales
with the All Star sneaker in 1917, the company employed Chuck Taylor, a former basketball star to revamp the design. After adding a patch to support the ankle, the CONVERSE CHUCK TAYLOR ALL STAR became uber-popular. Taylor didn’t receive a bonus or commission – he just spent 40 years working with Converse.
antelope that was the perfect inspiration for their company. Turns out Foster had won a South African dictionary, so they went with the Afrikaans spelling of “reebok”. Global sales 2013: US$1.9 billion ADIDAS is a combination of Adi and
Dassler, the German businessman who started the company in 1949.
Global sales 2013: US$1.45 billion
Global sales 2013: US$22.76 billion
REEBOK In 1958, J.W. Foster & Sons
ASICS In 1977, Onitsuka Co. merged
decided to create an athletic shoe company. Searching through a dictionary that Joe Foster had won in a running race as a boy, they came across the rhebok, a speedy African
with two other sports shoe makers to form ASICS, an acronym for the Latin phrase anima sana in corpore sano, or “healthy soul in a healthy body”. Global sales 2013: US$21 billion
Sneakers was the name given by advertising guru Henry Nelson McKinney to rubber-soled shoes sold by Keds in 1917. The shoes made it possible for people to sneak up on unsuspecting friends and family.
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Explore, Interact, Inspire Available now, now, everywhere e verywhere
Y CA L L F I C I F T N E E I S C
E N V O P R
7
WAYS TO OUTWIT YOUR YOUR
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FOOD AND DIET
Wansink Renowned food psychologist Brian Wansink has spent 25 years researching researching offbeat and innovative innovative ways to help us us eat healthier. healthier. Here are seven of his most revealing insights FROM THE BOOK SLIM BY DESIGN
MOST NUTRITION education
isn’t very effective. People know that an apple is better than a chocolate bar, but they often eat the chocolate bar anyway. After conducting hundreds of studies on the psychology of how and why we eat, I’ve seen that it’s good to understand nutrition, but it’s it’s much better to change your eating environment. Doing so can help you make L E better choices without even thinking about it. T
R R H A O M V D T N T A A L M : K C T S O I T L S Y R T S O F D S O O O P F ) M E A L C P A P L A ( E ; G N N A W : O T R S I B I L Y V T E S L ) P E O L R P P P ; A S ( E ; C K R C U O O T S S E K R N I Y H E T : L L S A O H T R O H O P F
1
What Would Batman Eat?
Millions of parents take their happy kids to fast-food restaurants every day. Most of us don’t even try to get our kids to order the apple slices instead of the French fries or the milk instead of the juice. We’re there because we don’t have the time, energy or motivation to cook – or to argue with our kids. We all know children chi ldren can be stubstu bbornly habitual in what they want to eat. If kids had fries yesterday, they want them again agai n today. today . We came c ame up with wi th a simp si mple le way to inte in terr rrup uptt this th is default. Instead of asking kids what they want, what if we ask them about someone they admire? To study this, we treated 22 primary school-aged children to apple slices
or fries at a fast-food restaurant. The first week, 20 of them ordered fries, and two ordered apple slices. But the next week, we asked, “What would Batman eat: apple slices or fries?” After they answered for Batman, we asked them what they wanted. This time, the number of kids who ordered apple slices jumped from two to ten – almost half of them. We’ve done don e this th is in differdif ferent ways, and here’s what’s crazy. It doesn’t matter who yo u s ay : Ba t ma n , Joker, the kids’ teacher, or their best friend. Simply having to answer for anyone makes them think twice February
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SLEEPLESS IN SEVILLE
– and often upgrade their order. It also doesn’t matter what they answer. They could precociously say that Batman or their teacher would eat French fries, but they’ll still order apple slices half the time. OUSIDE HE LAB: If you ask yourself before deciding between the salad and the cheesy bacon fries, “What would my role model choose?” you’ll be a lot less tempted. Thinking about what a well-liked person would do makes us less indulgent.
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Te Duct-aped Shopping rolley
What’s th e ri ght amount of fruits and vegetables to put into a shopping trolley? We don’t really know. When most of us grocery shop, fruits and vegetables take up 24% of our trolley. But suppose your grocery store divided each trolley in half by putting 34
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a piece of yellow duct tape across the middle interior. And suppose a sign on the trolley recommended that you put all the fruits and vegetables in front of the tape and all the other foods in back. This dividing line doesn’t moralise or lecture. It just encourages shoppers to ask themselves whether the food in their hands goes in the front or back – they’re simply sorting their food. We ma de a few dozen of these divided trolleys to test and found that shoppers who used the trolleys bought 23% more fruits and vegetables than those who didn’t. They spent twice as much on produce and also spent about 25% more time at the store. Not only did this fruit-and-vegetable divider make them think twice about what they bought, but it also made them think that buying more fruits and vegetables was normal. OUSIDE HE LAB: Put something down the middle of your trolley – a bag, a scarf, a coat. Claim the front half for whatever you want to purchase more of (eg, a shopper with high blood pressure might want more lowsodium food). If that target space isn’t full, you’ll tend to buy more to balance things out.
3
Groceries and Gum
Most of us know it’s bad to go food shopping on an empty stomach. We think it’s because we buy more food when we’re hungry, but in our studies, starving shoppers buy the exact same amount of food as full
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READER’S DIGEST
shoppers. They don’t buy more, but they buy worse. When we’re hungry, we buy things that are convenient to eat right away and stop our cravings, such as biscuits, chips or sweet things. Our imagination is the problem. Hunger leads us to dream about what a food would feel like in our mouth if we were eating it. So we tested whether chewing gum could interrupt these cravings, making it too hard to imagine the sensory details of crunchy chips or creamy ice-cream. A colleague and I gave gum to food shoppers at the start of their shopping trips; at the end, they rated themselves as less hungry and tempted by food. In another study, shoppers bought 7% less junk food than those who weren’t chewing gum. OUTSIDE THE LAB: If you shop for groceries when you’re hungry, make sure the first thing you buy is gum. Our early findings show that sugarless gum or mint might work best.
4
Chinese Buffet Confidential
Some people say there is only one way not to overeat at a buffet: don’t go. Yet here’s what’s strange – visit any buffet restaurant, and you’ll see a lot of slim people. What do they do at buffets that heavy people don’t? When we ask, they almost all say, “I don’t know.” Most people eat the way they eat with very little conscious thought. You can find out their habits only by carefully watching them. So researchers
in my lab did – at 11 Chinese buffet restaurants. Here’s the first thing we discovered: 71% of slim diners scouted out the buffet before they picked up a plate – they scanned the salad bar, the steam trays holding 14 seemingly identical chicken dishes, the sushi station, and the dessert bar. Only after they had figured out the lay of the land did they grab their plates and start cherry-picking. Heavier diners, on the other hand, were twice as likely to charge ahead to the nearest stack of plates and start filling up. They also sat at tables that were on average 4.8m closer to the buffet and were three times more likely to sit facing the food, which could remind them to take second and third helpings. OUTSIDE THE LAB: Our researchers have a saying: “If you want to be skinny, do what skinny people do.” In our study, slim people also were more likely to use chopsticks and smaller plates, and chew each bite more than heavy people did. Survey the spread before filling your plate. Sit as far away from the food as possible. February
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7 W AY S T O O U T W I T Y O U R A P P E T I T E
5
Te Case for Half-Size Portions Why are restaurant portions so huge? Restaurants think that the more food they give, the more likely we’ll eat there and not across the street. But this can backfire. When burritos become as big as their head, reasonable people either split one or they don’t buy any side dishes or desserts. We did a test at a Minnesota high way truck stop. We suggested they offer half-size portions of popular dishes. They did it, but instead of losing money, they made more. Here’s how. Whereas a couple named Lester and Grace would regularly visit the restaurant and split a $10 chicken breast main course because it was “big enough for two”, they now each ordered their own half-size main course. And they still had room to order a starter or side salad. Within three months, more people went to
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the restaurant, and more total main courses (including half-size options) were sold. They also sold 435 more side orders of salad per month than they had before. OUSIDE HE LAB: Ask for a half portion for “a reduced price, so I’ll have room for a starter or a drink.” It’s surprising how often this works – even at big chain restaurants. If this isn’t possible, you can always have them pack up half the main course in a takeaway container (before it arrives) and order a side salad.
6
Te Warm Can Solution A man was referred to our lab once for advice on how to break what his doctor called a “Pepsi addiction” – 12-plus cans a day. He was on the express train to diabetes. He even had one of those mini refrigerators in his office – fully stocked. Telling him to get rid of his refrigerator and go cold turkey, or even just to drink half as many, wouldn’t work. He would have resisted, cheated or obsessed about how many he had left in his stash. Instead, we told him he could drink all the Pepsi he wanted if he agreed to one thing: he could keep only one can in the refrigerator at a time. When we made him decide how badly he wanted to drink a warm Pepsi, he trimmed his consumption down to about four or five a day. Without much thinking or self-denial, he sliced his addiction by almost two-thirds.
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Make your trigger foods as inconvenient and unattractive as warm Pepsi. An ice cream container mummified in aluminium foil looks a lot less tantalising than when it radiates chocolate fudge goodness. It’s a third less likely to be eaten within the first week of being wrapped up. OUSIDE HE LAB:
7
Te Slim Person’s Kitchen
If we knew what a skinny person’s kitchen looked like, we could set up our own kitchens in a similar way. We chose the US demographically representative city of Syracuse, New York, for our study. (It’s commonly used as a test city for billion-dollar companies with huge markets at stake.) Once we got into people’s homes, we took pictures of everything: their dishes, sinks, refrigerator shelves, benchtops, snacks, pet-food dishes, tables, lighting – even random items held up by magnets on their refrigerators. Nothing went unsnapped. Then we spent eight months coding these kitchens to see what thin people do differently. We wondered if big kitchens turn us into big people. But it turns out that kitchen size isn’t the problem. It’s what you see in the kitchen. The average woman who kept potato chips on the benchtop weighed 3.6kg more than her neighbour who didn’t. Those who had even one box of breakfast cereal that was visible weighed 9.5kg more
than their neighbours who didn’t. “In sight, in stomach.” We eat what we see, not what we don’t. OUSIDE HE LAB: Rearrange your cupboard, pantry and refrigerator so the first visible foods are best for you. You’re three times more likely to eat the first food you see in the cupboard than the fifth one. In another study, we asked people to move all their fruits and vegetables from the crisper bin to the top shelf and put less-healthy foods in the crisper. After one week, they reported eating nearly three times as many fruits and vegetables as the week before. (Produce might keep longer in the crisper, but the goal is to eat it – not to end up composting it.)
SLIM BY DESIGN ©
2014 BY BRIAN WANSINK, IS PUBLISHED BY WILL IAM MORROW, AN IMPRINT OF HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS, WWW. HARPERCOLLINS.COM.
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Laughter THE BEST MEDICINE
MESSAGE RECEIVED A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. After a week of silence, the man realised he’d need his wife to wake him at 5am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5am.” The next morning the man woke up, only to discover that it was 9am and he’d missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It said: “It’s 5am. Wake up”.
Source: cheergiver.com
PUSHOVER
A loud knocking on the door wakes a man and his wife in the middle of a stormy night. The man opens the door to a stranger, who asks him for a push. “No way!” says the husband, slamming the door shut in the stranger’s face. “Who was that?” calls his wife. “Just some drunk asking for a push,” he answers. “It’s 3am and pouring with rain out there!” “You should be ashamed,” his wife replies. “Don’t you remember that time we broke down and those two guys helped us out? You should go and help him.” Sighing, the man does as he’s told, pulls on his coat and heads out into the pouring rain. “Hello?” he calls out in the dark. “Do you still need a push?” 38
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“Yes, please,” comes the reply. “Where are you?” the husband calls out. “Over here,” the drunk replies. “On the swing.” SUBMITTED BY TRACY DAVIDSON
BREAKING NEWS
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected. Source: reddit.com THIRSTY WORK
Max the baby camel walks into his parents’ room at 3am and asks for a glass of water. “Another one?” says his dad. “That’s the second glass this month.” Seen on the internet
A hotel minibar allows you to see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020. COMEDIAN RICH HALL
VOICE PROFILING
Men are attracted to women with a raspy voice. We think: Hey, maybe she’s all done yelling. COMEDIAN MOODY MCCARTHY
CRIMINALLY INCLINED
A policeman pulled me over last night. He said, “You’ve got a headlight out, your rear tyre is completely flat, you’ve got an open drink in your hand and you’re not wearing a seat belt!” I said, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” “What’s that supposed to mean,” he demanded. I said, “Hang on a minute, pal. I’m on the phone.” Seen on the internet
than he thought so he runs off. Up in a tree, a monkey had seen the whole thing and decides to tell the lion what happened. The monkey perches on the lion’s shoulder and leads him back to the dog. As he sees the two heading towards him, the dog has another idea. “You’re late, monkey!” he shouts. “I told you to bring me another lion hours ago!” SUBMITTED BY HANNAH WILKINS
COLD CALLER
A market researcher phoned and said, “Can I ask you ten questions?” I said, “Go on then.” She said, “Question number one: have you ever experienced a blackout?” I said, “No.” She said, “And finally, question number ten.” COMEDIAN LEE MACK THINK BEFORE YOU ANSWER
KING OF THE JUNGLE
A lion stalking through the jungle spots a lost dog and thinks he’ll be easy prey. When the dog sees the lion he starts to run, but suddenly has an idea. He stops near some bones and says loudly, “Mmm, that was a tasty lion.” Stopping in his tracks, the lion realises this dog is a lot tougher
I love to go to bookstores and say, “Hello, I’m looking for a book called Rejection Without Killing . Do you have it?” COMEDIAN STEWART FRANCIS
Sometimes I crouch on the floor, tuck my head in and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
Seen on the internet
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EXTRAORDINARY TRU E TALES
From a seal with attitude to a bunny who helps sick children, it’s time to acknowledge our love for
Amazing
ANIMALS BY JENNIFER S. HOLLAND F R O M T H E B O O K U N L I K E LY H E R O E S
Te Elephant Seal Who Battled Bullies Although they may appear cute, elephant seal cubs can be very aggressive. Hugh Ryono experienced this first-hand while working as a volunteer at the Marine Mammal Care Center at Fort MacArthur in San Pedro, California. A year earlier, Hugh had spent a lot of time helping a newcomer named Gimpy. She was suffering from head trauma that paralysed her left side and caused partial blindness. Although unlikely to ever recover completely, she had managed to heal somewhat and had developed a liking for Hugh. One day, Hugh entered the seal pen to clean up after six very rambunctious one-year-old pups. Without warning, he slipped on a sardine. As soon as he fell, three angry pups lunged for him, eager to try out their new canine teeth. Out of the corner of his eye, Hugh glimpsed another mass of blubber, a particularly big one, coming to his rescue. It was Gimpy. After putting herself between Hugh and the feisty adolescents, Gimpy gave them a silent, open-mouthed warning, with her head bobbing up and down and teeth prominently displayed. This ended the pups’ charge. Threatened by the bigger animal (Gimpy outweighed each of them by about 90kg), they began to back off and Hugh was able to scramble to safety. 40
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AL MEAEZPI L NEGS S AN I MSAELVSI L L E S IN
T I D E R C
Koshka the cat was a friend indeed for Jesse Knott 42
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N O I T A R T S U L L I / O T O H P
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Te Infantry Kitty During wartime, the littlest forms of pleasure are true gifts. For Jesse Knott, who joined the US army in 2006, his gift was a scrappy kitten he befriended in Afghanistan. When he first arrived at his outpost near Maywan in 2010, Jesse noticed a few feral cats in the area and was immediately taken by a green-eyed tiger kitten that would soon be known affectionately as Koshka (or cat in Russian). Someone had been mistreating him and Jesse noticed sore spots where the cat had been nicked by a razor. While keeping an eye out for the culprit, he took the cat in to care for it himself. The kitten proved to be a delightful distraction for the soldiers, T T O although he would have an even greater impact on Jesse. That N K December, a suicide bomber killed two of Jesse’s friends. “I felt... E S S done. I couldn’t handle it and truly wanted to check out… I wanted E J © to die,” says Jesse. As Jesse’s emotions took hold of him, Koshka , G sensed his friend’s distress and seemed to know what to do. “He N I H kept coming up and head-bonking me – he wouldn’t leave me S I L B alone,” Jesse recalls. “And he was purring. I’d never heard him do U P that before. He kept patting my face with his paw, swiping me with N A M his tail, and then he curled up in my lap, rumbling away.” This was K R enough to pull Jesse back to his senses. He realised that he had O W other responsibilities and needed to pull it together. “He saved my , S E life that night,” Jesse says. “And after that, it became my mission to O R E get him out of that country, no matter what.” H Y After endless calls, Jesse found an interpreter who was taking L E K a dog to Kabul and agreed to carry Koshka, too. It was a long I L N U journey on buses and planes, but finally Koshka made it to Kabul, M O and then to New York, and lastly to Jesse’s parents’ home in R F Oregon. After everything Koshka had done for him, nothing made : O T Jesse happier than seeing the kitten bond with his family and get O H P the home he truly deserved. February
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AMAZING ANIMALS
Te Mare Who Stopped an Angry Cow Although Fiona Boyd has a life-long fondness of horses, t here is one mare that will always have a special place in her heart. On a summer afternoon in 2007, one of the cows on her dairy farm had recently given birth and Fiona needed to move mother and baby to a building where calves are kept during their first days. There were six cows in the field, plus the calf. Ignoring the adults, Fiona went straight to the young animal, prodding it to move toward the farm buildings. And that’s when the trouble began. “The calf started bellowing for its mother,” Fiona says, “which encouraged all the animals to come over and investigate.” Although cows are usually quite passive, they can become aggressive, especially when defending their young. One minute Fiona was walking beside the calf, the next she was being headbutted in the side by a very unhappy mother. The animal hit her hard, knocking her to the ground, kicking and butting her. Fiona could see the electric fence, and she k new she had to get behind it to be safe. But getting away wouldn’t be easy. The angry cow stood directly over her, straddling her body, ready and able to crush her with its full weight. “I curled into a small ball, waiting for it to be over,” Fiona recalls. And then Fiona’s saviour, her favourite chestnut Arab mare named Kerry, burst onto the scene. When Fiona heard the animal neighing and snorting nearby, she felt a shiver of hope. “The next thing I know, there she is, and she’s lashing out at the cow with her legs!” Fiona was amazed. The 15-year-old mare kept at it until the cow ran away, “then she stayed with me as I crawled a few metres to get behind that fence.” Once Fiona was safe, the horse went back to munching on grass as if she hadn’t just saved a human life. Fiona doesn’t blame the cow for her actions, but FEATURE EXTRACTED after the attack, whenever she or her sons went FROM UNLIKELY HEROES © 2014 into that field, Kerry would canter over and walk BY JENNIFER S. HOLLAND. PUBLISHED beside them like a bodyguard. Fiona had always BY WORKMAN PUBLISHING, NEW believed that if you love and treat your animals YORK AND HARDIE GRANT BOOKS, well, they will love and protect you in return. “I’d AUSTRALIA say Kerry proved me right.” 44
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Kerry, Fiona’s Arab mare, viewed herself as her owner’s bodyguard
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AMAZING ANIMALS
Te Real Energiser Bunny When Riki Yahalom Arbel began her career as an animal-assisted therapist in Jerusalem, she wanted to help broken kids to feel whole. And along the way, she found an unlikely partner. Alyna was the tiniest rabbit in a litter of nine at a petting zoo. Riki noticed that Alyna was dragging her back legs and soon realised that they were paralysed. This didn’t stop the bunny though. “She was so motivated, right from the start,” Riki says. “She would run around the cage despite her legs. She was quick and so tough!” But all the dragging created wounds on Alyna’s rear legs and Riki was worried about infection. With help from the lab head at ALYN children’s hospital, a paediatric and adolescent rehab facility in Israel where she worked, Riki designed a special wheeled mobility frame to help Alyna move. Although she struggled at first and wasn’t thrilled at being strapped into the scooter, Alyna was soon rolling around at top speed. “She seemed really happy,” says Riki. That’s when Riki had a fantastic idea. Alyna, in her scooter, could provide a special service to the hospital in return for the help she’d received there. Alyna soon became part of the everyday world of the hospital, zooming down the halls, accepting treats and pats, helping patients to forget their pain and why they were there. When Alyna was around, Riki says, “There was a lot of laughing and giggling.” Most importantly, as the kids struggled with their therapies, hospital staff would remind them that Alyna didn’t like her therapy either but she got better with practice, and it was clear to all how much her life improved with her new mobility. So the young patients worked harder, to be more like Alyna. “Talking to them about Alyna’s struggles seemed to help the kids feel less afraid and less frustrated. They really felt that Alyna understood them.” Over the years, Alyna has inspired hundreds of children, showing them how strong they could be; making their rocky paths seem a bit less daunting. After all, there was a little bunny on the same road, wheeling along beside them. Do you have a tale to tell about a farm animal, pet or zoo creature that has done something unusual or brave? We’d love to hear from you. Send your stories to Smart Animals. See page 6 for details.
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Despite her small size, Alyna made a big impression working at the children’s hospital in Israel
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HERO PET
The soft-eyed brown pit bull tugged at David’s heart – and set off a life-changing chain of events
The
Good Pit Bull BY ANITA BARTHOLOMEW
D
AVID LANTEIGNE NEVER INTENDED to
adopt another pet when he visited an Animal Rescue League in March 2009. His golden retriever Penny was as much as he could manage in his cosy East Boston apartment. But, he figured, he could still volunteer to walk the shelter dogs, and make them feel cared for. Touring the facility, the then 25-year-old Boston police officer spied a sweet brown five-year-old pit bull named Lilly in a kennel at the back, and knelt down to say hi. “She had the prettiest eyes,” he recalls. As he reached in to pet her, she pushed her neck up to the grate. He noticed some scars on her head – had she been abused? She so craved the little bit of warmth and affection he could offer through the cage door. Something about her 48
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Gentle and friendly, Lilly caught David’s attention through the bars of her kennel
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THE GOOD PIT BULL
tugged at his heart. He hated having to leave her there. He thought of his mother, Christine Spain, who, in her own way, was as trapped by forces beyond her control as Lilly – and in as much need of someone to love. Christine had battled alcoholism and mental illness all her adult life. She’d lost everything as a result – even her children. David and his sister were sent to live with their grandparents when he was just six years old. He never gave up on his mother though. He’d ride his bike the 8km to visit her in the next town. And it was so wonderful to share loving moments with her, he could forget the times he found her unconscious on a floor scattered with empty beer cans. But that was the past. He felt a mixture of pride and relief knowing she’d given up drinking more than two years before. Still, anxiety and depression kept her from going out, meeting new people. Having a dog to care for would give her a reason to get out and socialise. And his mother would be a lifesaver for Lilly. He brought Christine to meet Lilly the following week, and she was just as taken with the dog as her son had been. So Lilly joined the family. On David’s days off, Lilly would stay with him and Penny, her new best friend. But mostly, she lived with Christine in the rambling white house across from the train station in the New England town of Shirley, Massachusetts. 50
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And David was right : they were good for each other. Devoted to her care, Christine took Lilly everywhere, cooked her special meals, cuddled beside her at night. She even came out of her shell a bit, chatting with people she and Lilly met on their walks. All seemed well at last.
O
n May 3, 2012, David started his shift at midnight, walking a beat in the rough and tumble Boston neighbourhood of Mattapan. In his six years on the force, he’d seen it all. Nothing, he thought, could shake him – until a text came in from a friend who worked as a paramedic in Shirley, 80km away. “Your mother almost got hit by a train,” reported the friend. “She’s unhurt, but the dog with her wasn’t so lucky. Seems it lost a paw.” A qu ick cal l to the loca l po li ce gave him the details. A freight train was steaming past the Shirley station when the engineer spied a woman up ahead, passed out on the tracks, a brown dog by her side. The dog pushed and pulled, frantically trying to move her. The massive engine’s brakes screeched. Just before the train stopped, the engineer felt a thump. Racing back on foot, he expected to see two dead bodies. But Lilly had somehow pulled Christine off the track just in time. Still incoherent from drink, Christine had been arrested. Lilly had been taken to an emergency veterinarian.
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David left his shift and sped west to Shirley, choking back sobs, furious at his mother for putting herself in danger, and tormenting himself about letting her adopt Lilly. David arrived to find Lilly still in the animal control officer’s car. Though battered and bloody, when she saw him, her tail began to wag. As he picked her up, a makeshift bandage fell from her mangled leg. David gently placed Lilly in the back of his SUV, then raced back the way he came. At the Angell Animal Medical Center in Boston, doctors David immediately fell for Lilly. He also knew told him Lilly’s right front paw she would be good for his mother had been “degloved” – the skin, muscle and connective tissue sheered start earning the extra money he’d away. But there was a possibility that need to pay the vet bills. her leg could be saved – the docNo more than an hour into his tors wouldn’t know for sure until the shift, the hospital called. Lilly’s front X-rays were completed. right leg could not be saved. Of more As Lilly was wheeled into intensive concern were her hindquarters. She care, David applied for a US$4000 had multiple fractures of her left hip loan – the estimated cost of the am- and pelvis. She’d need major surgery putation, if it had to be done. At last, to repair the damage. done with the paperwork, he was able First, Lilly had to survive the amputo visit her. She had a multitude of tation, the doctor explained. If she did, tubes and IVs in her. She whimpered they’d wait a day or two, operate on her despite the pain medication. But she hindquarters, and insert a steel plate to was stable. And she seemed to take help her support her weight. comfort in his presence. David’s spirits sank as he absorbed Too soon, as the city stirred awake the news. If she lived, he asked, would to another morning, he had to leave she be able to walk? The doctor her. Hustling home, he had just couldn’t guarantee it. enough time to shower before report Would it be fair to put her through ing for an overtime shift so he could more pain, only to have her die on the February
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THE GOOD PIT BULL
But she’d made it through. Now, there was one big test left: would she walk again? Word spread around Angell Animal Medical Center about the hero dog who’d rescued her owner from the train tracks. Rob Halpin, Angell’s public relations director, asked David if he’d be willing to share Lilly’s story with the media. It would, Halpin told him, help counter the unfair stigma pit bulls face that often prevented them from being adopted. David agreed. At first, he sat down with local inter viewers but once the news of Lilly’s heroism spread, AnToday, Christine is ever more dedicated gell started getting calls from to Lilly – and to her own health reporters around the world. operating table? What if she was left Halpin set up a fund for Lilly’s care. with just one good leg out of four? Within four days about US$76,000 He didn’t want Lilly to suffer any had been donated, more than enough more, but she’d made it this far. It to cover Lilly’s hospital bills as well as shouldn’t be for nothing. Lilly had her the extensive physical therapy she’d right front leg, including the shoulder, need. Angell would set aside the amputated the following morning. balance of donations to help other Through the steel grate of her cinder animals whose owners could not block kennel after the surgery, David otherwise afford their care. saw a shaved, bruised dog, tubes and needles everywhere, and stitches inally, a little more than a week where her leg had been. “She looked after the accident, Angell’s like Frankenstein.” doctors decided she could go On Saturday, May 5, surgeons home. She couldn’t yet stand, but she operated on her hip and pelvis. So had started to move her back legs. It damaged was the top of the hip joint, seemed a good sign. it had to be cut away. At home, completely helpless,
F
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Lilly needed round-the-clock care. Christine moved into her son’s apartment and committed herself to Lilly’s recovery. She cooked her special meals of boiled chicken, sweet potatoes, and rice. Lilly needed a multitude of pills – antibiotics, painkillers, anti-inflammatories – which Christine conscientiously administered. Lilly couldn’t move by herself, and Christine didn’t want her to have to sleep alone. She snuggled in with the dog at night on the hardwood floor. Though they never spoke about what happened that night on the railroad tracks, David overheard Christine call Lilly, “my little lifesaver,” and her dedication to the dog said more than words. And yet, it would all be for nothing if physical therapy couldn’t get Lilly back on her feet again. Several days after her discharge from Angell, David carried Lilly into the Paws in Motion rehabilitation centre, and gently placed her on the floor. The most physical therapist Dr Suzanne Starr could do with Lilly that first day was to massage, flex and extend her legs. At her next session, Starr placed Lilly onto the underwater treadmill. And, for a few brief moments, the buoyancy of the water allowed the pit bull to stand and walk upright on her own without falling. But outside the water, Lilly was as immobile as before, unable to bear her own weight on her remaining three legs.
Christine diligently helped Lilly do the stretching exercises prescribed by Starr. Together, mother and son learned how to “walk” her. With one person at Lilly’s front and the other at her back, they carried her in a specially designed dual harness. One sunny June afternoon, David brought the two dogs to a park in downtown Boston. Lilly was lounging in the grass in her harness, Penny nearby, when a woman stopped on the sidewalk and stared, evidently recognising them, thanks to all the media attention Lilly had gotten. The woman began walking towards them, beaming a warm, inviting smile, then opened her arms wide and called out: “Lilly!” Lilly’s face lit up as it always did. But as David watched, stunned, Lilly pushed herself up and, wobbly as can be, took half a dozen steps on her three remaining legs to greet the woman. Reacting quickly, he reached out to support the dog, frightened that she’d collapse. And just as quickly, joy swept away the fear. Everything was going to be all right. Lilly was going to make it. She would walk again. Lilly still divides her time between her two homes in Shirley and East Boston, happily getting around on her three legs. She also makes appearances for a charity, Lilly The Hero Pit Bull, that advocates on behalf of pit bulls, raises money for their medical expenses, and helps them find new homes. Christine is again sober and doing well.
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LIVING LANGUAGE
w or d t a s t h n u e h t ego a n d r se
h ea l
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In the last few months of his life, one of Australia’s best-loved authors reflected on his passion for the simple things, including…
Words BY BRYCE COURTENAY
I care about words more than most and while it’s natural that the new technology such as Facebook and Twitter and the by now almost universally used email encourages us to use a bunch of words that are colourless and often cut to verbal ribbons – “How R U”, “Luv U” or similar – it seems to be a process that is squeezing the life out of language. I am aware that language is a constantly changing medium – new words and forms arrive, old ones die out. Like life, a great many common words have a brief lifespan before passing away. But English is a beautiful and expressive language that more than I GUESS AS A WRITER
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most languages can explain through idiom our society to ourselves. Truncating words into small, common, lifeless little objects, meaningless phrases as if what we have to say and therefore we ourselves are unimportant and worthless seems to me to be a tragic transgression into nowhere. Someone once said we are known by the words we use. Allow me to talk a little about words, those lovely, jumping, laughing, eager little marks we make on paper or tap onto a screen. Words gather around a proposition or an idea or story willingly. Some wag their tails, others stand back a little shy, but they’ve come to work, some shuffle as they stand in line, others stand to rigid attention while you can almost hear some of them tap dancing. But the big ones and the small ones, the extroverted words and the shy words all want to be part of the action, part of your narrative. They all want to get into the act, all are anxious to make your writing just the very best it can be. If you love words they force you to use them intelligently, they don’t merely want to show off – in fact, they love working hard. Nothing echoes more loudly than a hollow word or lacks meaning as does a lazy one. Some words run softly, on tippytoe, almost soundless, others clump around like an under-14 football team milling around on the cement floor of the dressing shed. Some soothe like cold cream on sunburn 56
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while others can set your blood pounding. Expletives are a part of our language and they too can be used well or simply wasted, thrown together in a sentence to denote little but an inability to think or pause meaningfully in an attempt to find an appropriate adjective. There are words so rounded at the edges and softened by wear that they are no longer words at all but the sounds that people make for confusion, despair, joy or anger. There are words that are randy (oldfashioned word) or sexy but not dirty or foul. And sacred words that have become expletives, their meanings soiled with improper unthinking and careless use. Some words stick like burrs and punish at a touch. They are words we never forget, insults and denigrating word s that destroy our egos and sometimes even our lives. But then there are also words that nurse the ego and heal the heart. There are words joined together in common phrases we barely notice as we employ them in everyday use, yet if you pause a moment to think, they are so beautiful that they elevate the human race. For instance, here is a phrase so common we use it without a moment’s thought, yet it is a miracle of invention. How it ever came into being is a marvel and a mystery. Who was it to first use our language with such finesse? The phrase: “Beyond a shadow of a doubt”. Just pause for
READER’S DIGEST
a moment. Beyond meaning a way invented. It means you can possess ahead, a shadow a dark area covering an opinion that can reach around light, a doubt , a hesitancy in belief. the world without the media or the How blithely we employ this phrase, government putting a spin to it. yet how exquisitely beautiful it is in its Your opinion coupled with countless thought and structure. Our language others can stop wars and destroy contains hundreds, tyrants. Use it, and if you perhaps thousands choose the right of similar miracles words, inequity of expression that and hardship lead to deeper – even poverty There are some understanding – can be solved words that remain or emphasis. forever. forever unspoken, Though there The choice clamped in a are also phrases is ours, words that clunk, or do spoken, on the throat that aches for me. Here is one, screen, recorded, to let them out “I mean this from the written, lyri cs. If we bottom of my heart.” use them well and care In my mind’s eye I see a how we put them together, heart with a large bottom and if we think before we open anything, even a sentiment, our mouths, tap the computer coming from it is not to be trusted. keys or unclip a pen or compose a Any person “heart-bottoming” me is lyric or write a poem or even a note suspect. to the supermarket, we will do more There are also phrases that smack than simply rescue language, we will you in the mouth. “He was found stone begin to communicate meaningfully cold dead.” Whack! with each other as a collective force There are even some words that that can’t be stopped. When we talk remain forever unspoken, clamped in with purpose and pleasure to each a throat that aches to let them out … other in this marvellous language we and often they are the most meaningful have been given as our birthright then words of all. anything is possible and most of it will Words are the mo st of what we be very good. have to solve just about everything. You are a person with a point of view The new social media is the most that counts – use it! Find the right powerful medium for words ever words and change the world. EDITED EXTRACT FROM SILVER MOON: REFLECTIONS ON LIFE, DEATH AND WRITING BY BRYCE COURTENAY. © 2014. PUBLISHED BY VIKING AUSTRALIA. RRP A$24.99 OR AS AN EBOOK RRP A$9.99
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Life’s Like That SEEING THE FUNNY SIDE
From the Archives
A special treat for our February 2015 readers: this charming letter from 58 years ago is also accompanied by the original February 1957 illustration.
There was a loud crash, and when I rushed outside I saw that a woman had banged into a man’s car ahead of her. Unhurt, she jumped out and inspected the damage to her own car. Then she ran up to the man and started beating him on the NOT AS ADVERTISED
My husband and I were relaxing on lounge chairs on a Jamaica beach, half listening to a couple walk ing ank le deep in the clear water. The woman was extolling the beauty of the island when suddenly she let out a scream. “Oh!” she shrieked. “There are fish in here!” SUBMITTED BY JANET DAVIS 58
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chest, sobbing, “I’ll make you pay for this!” After the dramatics had calmed down I went my way and forgot about the whole thing. About a month later I saw a picture in the paper of this same man and woman. The caption read, “Newlywed Couple Enjoying Seaside Honeymoon”. I couldn’t help thinking she had made him pay – plenty! SUBMITTED BY BERNARD J. SMITH
SPITTING IMAGE
I was showing off my drawing skills to my four year-old one day. I would sketch different things and then ask him to recognise them. My boy was doing really well until I drew an angry face and he shouted, “It’s Mummy!” My wife was not amused. SUBMITTED BY ABHISHEK VERMA
DEFACED LEGS
My five-year-old nephew visited his grandma with me one warm summer’s day. As it was so balmy, she wasn’t wearing her normal thick stockings. The little boy was wideeyed as he carefully examined the varicose veins threaded along her legs. Looking concerned, he leaned forward and whispered, “You’ve been really naughty, Nana. Mummy will go mad when she sees what you’ve done with that felt-tip pen.” SUBMITTED BY MARGARET FIELDER
RETURN TO SENDER
Spotting an enormous snail feasting on one of my plants, I “accidentally” lobbed it towards my neighbour’s garden. It sailed through the air – closely followed by my pretty bracelet that became detached from my wrist. With my tail between my legs, I was forced to go and confess to the neighbours, stressing that I’d only thrown the snail “towards”, not “at”, their garden. We went into their garden to search for the bracelet, but had no success. However, two days later my neighbour called over the fence: “Guess what?” he said. “We didn’t find your bracelet, but we found your snail – so we’ve thrown that back!” SUBMITTED BY DIANE TURNER
The Great Tweet-off: Wisdom Edition Time to check in with teenage wunder-tweeter @SixthFormPoet. His musings have been enjoyed by millions since he joined Twitter in February 2011, and he now has a book, The Sixth Form Poet: Deep Thoughts and Wise Words . Enjoy. l Clapping
between push-ups is a cool way to applaud yourself for managing something asthmatic tenyear-olds can do with minimal effort.
“My bed is half full.” – Lonely optimist l Just
so you know, kissing someone mid-sentence works better in films than when a bus conductor is asking why you don’t have a valid ticket. l Just
found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous. l Life
is a gift. You never get the one you really wanted. l It’s
odd that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes, then die at the end because of their terrible driving.
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WHAT IT’S LIKE ...
An old boyfriend rang and said he had a favour to ask. Jane Whitehead found it hard to believe what he said next
Love
Reimagined AS TOLD TO EMILY CUNNINGHAM FROM THE GUARDIAN
WHEN THE PHONE RANG and
it was my childhood sweetheart on the other end, my first reaction was suspicion. Why was Kevin ringing me? He had dumped me unceremoniously eight years earlier, preferring to play football with his mates than spend time with me. We were 14 wh en we me t, and although it was just a light-hearted teenage relationship, I was heartbroken when Kevin finished with me over the phone after six weeks. I cried for 60
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days and would walk past his house hoping to catch a glimpse of him. But I didn’t see him and had no choice but to get on with my life. So when he rang I wasn’t bowled over to hear from him. Something else unnerved me, too – Kevin sounded completely different. Older, yes, but also hesitant and unsure of himself, not like him at all. He explained that he was ringing because he had had a brain injury and lost his memory. His therapist had encouraged him to
Jane Whitehead: a leap of faith changed her whole future
S R E V L I H C K R A M : O T O H P
contact childhood friends who might help him patch together his past. My name stuck out when he was browsing through Friends Reunited. He thought we might have known each other. “Known each other?” Was this a wind-up? I found it hard to believe Kevin’s story and I was more than a little wary. I got a friend to ring his mother to confirm it and, yes, he had been knocked off his motorbike by a lorry and been thrown in the air, landing on his head. When
he came out of a two-day coma, he couldn’t recognise anyone – not even his mother – and he had spent eight weeks in hospital having to relearn even simple day-to-day tasks such as using a knife and fork. Gradually, his memory was returning, but there were still massive gaps that he hoped I could help him fill. My feelings towards him softened. I didn’t feel attracted to this anxious, vulnerable person, but I wanted to help him, so we began to email and February
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talk on the phone. He found that talk- him of that. When he asked to kiss me ing about one recollection triggered again, I was delighted. others and he was gradually piecing I was due to go on holiday with together the jigsaw. friends, and before I left Kevin asked if After a few weeks we met up. I would be his girlfriend. The formalThe boy I’d known with surfer-style ity of the question made me laugh, but hair was long gone – the man who I agreed and our relationship began answered the door was stocky, with for the second time in a decade. At a shaved head. During times it was very hard our meal out, he was for both of us: Kevin quiet and withdrawn, struggled with dark Te awkward and we were both remoods and would cry lieved when I dropped often. He questioned silences weren’t why I would want to be him off afterwards. I due to social later discovered that it with him and said he tensions, but would understand if I had been his first night because he was out in months. broke it off, but I could The brain injury had trying to control never do that to him. shattered his confiBefore the accident he a panic attack dence, almost literally. had been about to move During the accident, to Spain – he had his Kevin’s brain was knocked violently whole future mapped out, but it had against his skull, leaving a deep gouge come crashing down. I knew I was on the area that controls emotion. one of the few things that buoyed him Kevin’s personality had been radi- up during this time. cally affected and as his brain slowly As the months passed, Ke vin’s rewired itself, he struggled with his mood stabilised. He didn’t need my feelings. So the awkward silences support so much and our relationship we’d had weren’t due to simple became one of equals. We married in social tensions, but because he was 2007 and we had our twins, Louis and struggling to control a panic attack. Olivia, in 2010. Kevin’s memory is We continued to email and phone, back to normal; if he forgets someand took to driving to old haunts. As thing, like everyone does, we laugh I grew to understand him, my feel- that he can’t blame the accident, just ings changed. How could I not warm old age. I would never say I was glad to this sensitive, kind man? Once we Kevin had his accident, but I am so visited the place where we had first happy to be with the man he became kissed as teenagers, and I reminded because of it. THE GUARDIAN (22 JUNE 2013), © 2013 GUARDIAN NEWS AND MEDIA LIMITED
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That’s Outrageous! IT’S A NUMBERS GAME
700 The number
419.99 The mile
of church-bell tolls a Rhode Island man had to endure in one week, which put him in a bad mood and contributed to the demise of his marriage, according to his lawsuit against said church in Florida, US. Source: The Week
marker Colorado put on Interstate 70 after the old one – 420, which is linked to marijuana – kept being stolen.
24 The number of
puppies in the largest litter ever recorded. They were born by caesarean section on 29 November, 2004, in the UK and their mother, Tia, was a Neopolitan mastiff. The litter consisted of 9 female pups and 15 males: 21 of them survived. Source: guinnessworldrecords.com 1,079,952 The amount in dollars
I S K O H C T N A H S I N : N O I T A R T S U L L I
lost when a member of the cleaning staff at a German museum mistook a piece of art for garbage and threw it out. Source: The Guardian 73 The percentage of the vote that the
government of Azerbaijan stated the president had received during the past election. Note: the results were accidentally leaked a day before anyone voted. Source: huffingtonpost.com
Source: newser.com
78 The number of anti-
riot vehicles bought by German police. During a public exhibition, one of the 33-tonne vehicles – which was advertised as withstanding missiles such as bricks, stones and Molotov cocktails – was damaged by tennis balls, eggs and plastic bottles filled with water. Source: The Daily Mail 3600 The approximate total number
of spider species that you’ll find in the Amazon. The largest of these is the Goliath bird eater, which can live for almost 30 years. Source: thinkjungle.com 911 The number called by a Texas
woman requesting that someone bring her cigarettes. Source: nbcdfw.com 4,800,000,000 The divorce
judgment in dollars against Russian billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev. Source: The New York Daily News
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FIRST PERSON
The
Scarred by the hatred and violence of his father, a boy becomes a force for peace
Son
Terrorist’s
BY ZAK EBRAHIM FROM THE BOOK THE TERRORIST’S SON
November 5, 1990 CLIFFSIDE PARK, NEW JERSEY
M is an advocate for nonviolence, tolerance and empathy. ZAK EBRAHIM
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y mother shakes me awake in my bed: “There’s been an accident,” she says. I am seven years old, a chubby kid in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pyjamas. I’m accustomed to being roused before dawn, but only by my father and only to pray on my little rug with the minarets. Never by my mother. It’s 11 at night. My father is not home. Lately, he has been staying at the mosque in Jersey City deeper and deeper into the night. But he is still Baba to me – funny, loving, warm. Just this morning, he tried to teach me, yet again, how to tie my shoes. Has he been in an accident? Is he hurt? Is he dead? I can’t get the questions out, because I’m too scared. My mother flings open a white sheet – it mushrooms briefly, like a cloud – then leans down to spread it on the
M I H A R B E K A Z Y S E T R U O C O T O H P ; Y R D N E K C M E O J Y B N O I T A R T S U L L I
Zak visited his father at the Attica Correctional Facility in 1994. Te house in the background is where the family stayed for a weekend on the prison grounds November 2014 •
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floor. “Look into my eyes, Z,” she says, her face so knotted with worry that I hardly recognise her. “You need to get dressed as quick as you can. And then you need to put your things onto this sheet and wrap it up tight. OK? Your sister will help you.” She moves towards the door. “Wait,” I say. It’s the first word I’ve managed to utter. “What should I put in the sheet?”
mosque, desperate to reach him. “He’s not here,” my mother says. The phone rings again. This time, I can’t figure out who’s calling. My mother says, “Really? Asking about us? The police?” A little later, I wake up on a blanket on the living room floor. Somehow, in the midst of the chaos, I’ve nodded off. Everything we could possibly carry is piled by the door. My mother paces
My mother saw footage of the Arab gunman, and her heart nearly stopped: it was my father I’m a good kid. Shy. Obedient. My mother stops to look at me. “Whatever will fit,” she says. “I don’t know if we’re coming back.” She turns, and she’s gone. Once we’ve packed, my sister, brother, and I pad down to the living room. My mother has called my father’s cousin in Brooklyn – we call him Uncle Ibrahim, or just Ammu – and she’s talking to him heatedly, clutching the phone with her left hand and, with her right, nervously adjusting her hijab. The TV plays in the background. Breaking news. My mother catches us watching and hurries to turn it off. She talks to Ammu Ibrahim for a while longer, her back to us. When she hangs up, the phone begins ringing. It is one of Baba’s friends from the 66
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around, checking and rechecking her purse. She has all our birth certificates: proof, if anyone demands it, that she is our mother. My father, El-Sayyid Nosair, was born in Egypt. But my mother was born in Pittsburgh. Before she became a Muslim – before she took the name Khadija Nosair – she went by Karen Mills. “Your uncle Ibrahim is coming for us,” she tells me when she sees me sitting up and rubbing my eyes. Here is what my mother is not saying: Meir Kahane, a militant rabbi and the founder of the Jewish Defense League, has been shot by an Arab gunman after a speech in a ballroom at a Marriott hotel in New York. The gunman fled the scene, shooting an elderly man in the leg in the process. He rushed into a cab that was
READER’S DIGEST
waiting in front of the hotel but then bolted out and began running down the street, gun in hand. A law enforcement officer from the US Postal Service, who happened to be passing by, exchanged fire with him. The gunman collapsed on the street. The newscasters couldn’t help noting a gruesome detail: both Rabbi Kahane and the assassin had been shot in the neck. Neither was expected to live. Now the TV stations are updating the story constantly. An hour ago, while my sister, brother, and I slept away our last seconds of anything remotely resembling a childhood, my mother overheard the name Meir Kahane and looked up at the screen. The first thing she saw was footage of the Arab gunman, and her heart nearly stopped: it was my father. ◆ ◆ ◆
Nosair survived his injuries, while Kahane did not. Awaiting trial in prison at Attica State Prison in New York, Nosair insisted on his innocence, and his wife and children desperately wanted to believe him. During this time, US federal agents raided the family’s home, but it would be years before they translated all his papers. Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden, unknown to most of the world at that time, was among those contributing to Nosair’s legal fees. In 1991, a jury found Nosair not guilty of murder. He was sentenced instead to seven to 22 years for criminal possession of a weapon and other
charges. The family endured years of death threats, nomadic living, and poverty. Tragically, Nosair’s career as a terrorist was not over yet.
February 26, 1993 JERSEY CITY, NEW JERSEY
’m about to turn ten, and I’ve been bullied at school for years. I can’t pretend it’s just because of who my father is. For reasons I will probably spend my whole life trying to unravel, I seem to be a magnet for abuse. The bullies’ latest trick is to wait until I’ve turned to open my locker and then slam my head against it and run. Whenever this happens, the principal says he wants to be “fair to all parties”, so I usually get sent to detention along with the bullies. The anger and dread have made a permanent nest in my stomach. Today’s a Friday, and my mother has let me stay home from school to recover from what we agree to call “a stomach bug”. I’m camped out on the couch, watching Harry and the Hendersons, a movie about a family who’s hiding a Bigfoot-type creature from the police because the police won’t understand how kind and gentle he is. In the middle of the movie, there’s breaking news: an explosion beneath the North Tower of the World Trade Center (WTC). Law enforcement agencies are on the scene, the early theory being that a transformer has exploded. The wreckage is horrific. Later, hundreds of FBI agents comb
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through the rubble. They abandon the theory about the transformer when they discover remnants of the rental van that carried the explosives. The FBI traces the van back to Mohammed Salameh – the deliveryman who’d promised to marry my sister when she came of age – and arrests him on March 4, when he returns to the rental company to report the van stolen and demand that he get his
the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels, the George Washington Bridge and a federal building housing the FBI in New York. For practical purposes, though, the WTC operation was run by the Kuwaiti-born Ramzi Yousef. He had studied electrical engineering in Wales and bomb making at a terrorist training camp in Pakistan. He entered the United States using a fake Iraqi pass-
My mother barely has the money to pay for my father’s collect calls. I don’t want to talk to him anyway $400 deposit back. In the months that follow, America shivers at the previously incomprehensible thought of terrorism at home, as well as at the fact that its government agencies had been caught unawares.
A
STARTLING FACT EMERGES:
my father helped strategise the attack from his cell at Attica, using visitors as gobetweens to associates back home. One of those associates was his old mentor, the “Blind Sheikh” [Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman], who not only encouraged the WTC plot, according to the government, but also signed off on a plan that would have been far more deadly, had it come to pass: five more bombs detonated within ten minutes at the United Nations, 68
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port and, upon being detained, played a get-out-of-jail-free card by requesting asylum. A court date was set. And because holding cells were full, Yousef was released on his own recognizance in New Jersey, whereupon he and his team began collecting the ingredients for the bomb. Just hours after the attack, Yousef left the country. I wish I could do more to honour the six victims than just repeat their names, but I’d be ashamed if I didn’t do at least that much. Robert Kirkpatrick, William Macko and Stephen Knapp were all maintenance super visors at the WTC. They were eating lunch together when the bomb went off. Monica Rodriguez Smith was a secretary. She was seven months pregnant and doing clerical work when she was killed. Wilfredo Mercado worked
READER’S DIGEST
for the restaurant Windows on the World. He was checking in deliveries. And John DiGiovanni was a salesman who specialised in dental products – he was just parking his car. the government, having finally translated the contents of the 47 boxes taken from our home after Kahane’s assassination, determines that the killing was part of a conspiracy and retries my father for the murder as well as for his part in the World Trade Center bombing. My father still insists that he is innocent of everything. I believe him because – well, because I am 12 years old. My mother has doubts. My father rants to her about the conspiracy against him, and he barks orders: write to the judge! Call Pakistan! Go to the Egyptian embassy! Are you writing all of this down?! My mother yesses him quietly. On October 1, my father, along with the Blind Sheikh and eight others, is convicted of 48 out of 50 charges, and later he is sentenced to life plus 15 years without parole. The murder of Monica Rodriguez Smith’s unborn child is considered in the sentencing. After the new round of conv ictions, we see my father once – at the Metropolitan Correctional Center (MCC) in New York. My mother is terrified about what will become of her and her children. Even now, my father will not admit guilt. When he
B
Y THE AUTUMN OF 1995 ,
goes to hug my mother, she pulls away for the first time, so repulsed that she thinks she’s going to vomit. For many years, she will try to console us by saying that we have a father who loves us. But she will always remember the visit to the MCC as the day that her own heart finally gave up. My father is shipped off to a series of maximum-security prisons around the country. We can no longer afford to visit, even if we wanted to. My mother barely has the money to pay for my father’s collect calls. I don’t want to talk to him anyway. All he ever says is, “Are you making your prayers? Are you being good to your mother?” And all I want to say is, “Are you being good to my mother, Baba? Do you know that she’s crying all the time?” But, of course, I’m too scared to say any of this. So my father and I keep having the same pointless con versations, and I twist the phone cord tighter and tighter around my hand because I just want it to stop. My mother wants it to stop too. She demands a divorce, and we all change our last name. We’ve seen my father for the last time. ◆ ◆ ◆
After years of moving around the country and even living briefly in Egypt, the family moved to ampa, Florida. Zak got a job at Busch Gardens, a theme park, when he was 18. Tere he made friends and came to appreciate people from all different backgrounds. February
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trying to understand what drew my father to terrorism and struggled with the knowledge that I have his blood in my veins. It was many years before I internalised the full horror of what he did. I carried fear, anger, and self-loathing in my gut but couldn’t even begin to process them. I now understand that there’s a reason that murderous hatred has to
I
’VE SPENT MY LIFE
based on what they were – Muslim, Jewish, Christian, gay, straight – and that starting right then and there, I was going to judge them based only on who they were. She listened, she nodded, and she had the wisdom to speak the six most empowering words I have ever heard: “I’m so tired of hating people.” Everyone has a choice. Even if you’re trained to hate, you can choose
Everyone has a choice. Even if you’re trained to hate, you can choose tolerance. You can choose empathy be taught – and not just taught but forcibly implanted. It’s not a naturally occurring phenomenon. It is a lie. It is a lie told over and over again – often to people who have no resources and who are denied alternative views of the world. It’s a lie my father believed, and one he hoped to pass on to me. But he could not fill me with hate from jail. And he could not stop me from coming into contact with the sorts of people he demonised and discovering that they were human beings – people I could care about and who could care about me. Bigotry cannot survive experience. My body rejected it. My mother’s faith in Islam never wavered, but she, l i ke t he v a st majority of Muslims, is anything but a zealot. When I was 18, I told her I could no longer judge people 70
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tolerance. You can choose empathy. To be honest, I still feel something for my father, something that I haven’t been able to eradicate – some strand of pity and guilt, I guess, though it’s as thin as spider’s silk. It’s hard to think of the man I once called Baba living in a cell, knowing that we have all changed our names out of terror and shame. Every so often, I’ll get an e-mail from the federal penitentiary in Marion, Illinois, saying that my father would like to initiate correspondence. But I’ve learned that leads nowhere good. Rabbi Kahane’s assassination was not just hateful but a failure as anything other than simple murder. My father intended to shut the rabbi up and to bring glory unto Allah. What he actually did was to bring shame and
READER’S DIGEST
suspicion unto all Muslims and to inspire more pointless and cowardly acts of violence. One of the upsides to not speaking to my father anymore is that I’ve never had to listen to him pontificate about the vile events that took place on September 11. He must have regarded the destruction of the Twin Towers as a great victory for Islam – maybe even as the culmination of the work he and the Blind Sheikh and Ramzi Yousef had begun years earlier. In April 2012, I had the surreal experience of giving a speech to a couple of hundred federal agents. The Bureau wanted to build a better rapport with the Muslim community, and the agent in charge of the campaign had heard me advocate for peace at his son’s school, so there I was – feeling honoured but nervous. I proceeded to tell my story and to offer myself up as proof that it is possible to
shut one’s ears to hatred and violence and simply choose peace. After my talk, a handful of agents formed a line to shake my hand. The first few agents offered polite words and firm grips. The third one, a woman, had been crying. “You probably don’t remember me,” she said. “But I was one of the agents who worked on your father’s case.” She paused awkwardly, which made my heart go out to her. “I always wondered what happened to the children of ElSayyid Nosair,” she continued. “I was afraid that you’d followed in his path.” I’m proud of the path that I’ve chosen. And I think I speak for my brother and sister when I say that rejecting our father’s extremism both saved our lives and made our lives worth living. To answer the agent’s question, here is what happened to the children of El-Sayyid Nosair: We are not his children anymore.
THE TERRORIST’S SON, BY ZAK EBRAHIM WITH JEFF GILES, © 2014 BY ZAK EBRAHIM, IS A TED BOOK
AND PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, INC. WWW.SIMONANDSCHUSTER.COM.
OVERLY HONEST OUT-OF-OFFICE REPLIES l
I’m away from my computer but still available to chat if it’s not about work.
l
I’ll be checking email sporadically in between cycling through all these tabs I have open to compare shoe prices.
l
If you’d like to contact me, please post your email directly to my
Facebook page, where I will be spending the remainder of the day. SOMEECARDS.COM
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All in a Day’s Work HUMOUR ON THE JOB
DEADLY DIET At a conference I attended recently, a doctor was addressing a large audience. “The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here years ago,” he said. “Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Fast food is loaded with additives. High transfats diets can be disastrous, and none of us realises the longterm harm caused by germs in our drinking water. “But there’s one thing that’s the most dangerous of all, and most of us has, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?” After several seconds of quiet, an elderly man in the front row raised his hand and softly said, “Wedding cake?” SUBMITTED BY ROBERT THOMPSON
KNOCK KNOCK
When I worked in the post office, a lady barged in and started complaining that she’d got home to find a note from the postman – he’d tried to deliver a package but nobody was in. “My husband was home all day!” she fumed. After I gave her the package, she said, “Oh, I’m so excited – it’s my husband’s new hearing aids!” SUBMITTED BY LUCY BRYN
BACK PEDDLER
I was listening to my son and his friend discussing what their parents did for a living, when I had to quickly 72
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rush over and explain in case his friend went home and told his parents what he’d been told. “I do not ‘sell drugs’,” I assured him, “but I do work in a pharmacy!” SUBMITTED BY AMELIA BARNES
AFTER-DINNER DRINKS
We recently ate at a restaurant and as we paid our bill the waitress asked our small son what we were going to do next. Excitedly, Jamie said, “We have whisky in the car, you know.” The waitress
K C O T S K N I H T ) E L P U O C ( : O T O H P
BE VERY AFRAID SCENE: A
second-hand DVD shop… ME: Do you have the DVD of Sharknado? SHOP ASSISTANT: Is that a documentary? SUBMITTED BY LYNETTE COMBS
glared at me and walked off before I could explain to her that our dog – Whisky – was indeed waiting for us to return to the parking lot. SUBMITTED BY JOANNE AITCH
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS (HALF) RIGHT
I was really pleased with my purchase of a new pair of shoes from a major retailer. About a week later, on a rainy day, I was in a rush and quickly grabbed my shoes from the rack and made my way into town. To my horror, I felt a wet sensation inside my right shoe – it was leaking. I returned to the shop to complain about the leaking right shoe. At customer service, the assistant looked at both shoes and said, “Yes, sir, you’re correct – the right shoe leaks, but unfortunately only the left shoe was bought from this store.” My apology was as swift as my departure. SUBMITTED BY PHILIP CARROLL
INGRATE
I recently visited a local restaurant for a spot of lunch. I ordered a ham salad, and the waiter soon arrived with my meal. “Do you know what kind of cheese this is?” I asked him, pointing at my plate. Off he went into the kitchen to find out from the chef, and a few moments later he returned. “It’s grated cheese, sir,” he replied. SUBMITTED BY KENNETH ROBERTS
FLAMEOUT
I was assisting a teacher who was tutoring a class of 14-year-olds who’d recently been on a trip to Italy. When the teacher asked for any questions relating to their trip, one pupil raised his hand and asked, “Sir, why are the underground stations called ‘Fumare Vieto’?” After a silence, the teacher replied, “The translation is ‘No Smoking’.” SUBMITTED BY ROCHELLE COHEN
Got a good joke, anecdote or real-life gem to share? Send it in and you could win cash! See page 6 for details on how to contribute. February
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CHEAT SHEET
I N S T A A N S W N T E R S
EBOLA BY HAZEL FLYNN
START AT THE BEGINNING: Not everyone who catches Ebola virus disease will die, but it kills at a far higher rate than many other diseases. Africa is currently experiencing a headline-making outbreak of the disease, which is spread by person-to-person transmission. In WHAT ARE ITS previous epidemics, 50% of affected ORIGINS? The first people died but without medical outbreak of 602 recorded treatment this can rise as high as cases was in 1976 in Sudan 90%. The WHO has reported and in the Democratic Republic a fatality rate during of Congo (formerly Zaire), near the current the Ebola River. It may have epidemic in been initially spread as a West Africa result of handling bushmeat of about (wild animals hunted for 72%. This food) or contact with SUDAN drops to infected bats. The 60% for current Ebola patients in GUINEA SIERRA outbreak, mainly hospital. LEONE in the West LIBERIA African countries of Guinea, Liberia DEMOCRATIC and Sierra Leone, REPUBLIC OF CONGO began in March 2014 and is the worst so far. By December, there were more than 17,000 people infected and more than 6000 deaths Dr Tom Frieden, Director of US Centers recorded. for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
“As we work to help the communities aff ected by this virus, we must not let our fear outweigh our compassion”
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TELL ME MORE: Symptoms appear anywhere from 2-21 days after exposure, but most commonly show up in 8-10 days. Unlike, say, chickenpox, a person with Ebola cannot spread the disease before their symptoms appear. The virus passes from one person to another only by direct contact with blood and bodily fluids, which may enter the body through mucous membranes or breaks in the skin. It is not spread through the air. People caring for the sick or handling the bodies of people infected with Ebola are particularly exposed. At first, Ebola seems much like the flu, causing headaches, pains and fever. Vomiting and diarrhoea and sometimes a rash follows. More than two-thirds of sufferers will then experience a severe decline as the virus causes them to haemorrhage; they may pass blood in urine or vomit, or from the eyes or mouth. Death is usually caused by organ failure and septic shock following the drastic loss of blood pressure when blood vessels leak fluid.
6070: IS THERE ANY GOOD NEWS? Yes. Ebola is not nearly as contagious as you might fear. Each person with Ebola passes it to 1.5 to 2 others. In comparison, measles is far more easily transmittable (an average of 18 contagions), but does not have the same high mortality rate. Also, hospital healthcare measures such as fluid management and blood transfusions can greatly increase survival rates. Finally, several potential vaccines are now in active development.
Deaths in the first nine months of the current outbreak Source: WHO, December 3, 2014
Ebola is a filovirus, with a threadlike structure. Its spiky surface helps viral particles attach to cells and proceed to enter them and replicate
US$1.3m: Cost of two Ebola patients at Nebraska Medical Center, US. A 70-bed purposebuilt Ebola unit in Bong, Liberia, costs $1m/month to run and an average Liberian centre spends $1200/patient. Sources: Washington Post; Forbes.com; Samaritan’s Purse
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Sir Tim Berners-Lee, 59, invented the web 26 years ago
SIR WORLD WIDE WEB 76
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THE RD INTERVIEW
Mohan Sivanand speaks to the gallant knight who
made it possible for anyone to share information with anyone else, anywhere OVER LONG YEARS, it
S E G A M I Y T T E G : O T O H P
took innumerable people to develop the internet, which for decades was used only by professional boffins and highly skilled geeks – not you and I. But the world wide web (W W W), created for the internet in 1989-90 by one man, Tim Berners-Lee, changed everything. Growing up in England, Tim and his t wo schoolmates Nicholas Barton and Chris Butler – who also became scientists – spent time in the playground just talking about science or making electrical gadgets. Wh ile he was studying physics at Oxford, Tim built his own computer terminal with a broken-down television set for the screen and a discarded adding machine for the keyboard. Using an early microprocessor chip for his terminal to work, he took it into the college physics laboratory to test it out. “The lab technician,” Berners-Lee recalls, “was so suspicious of it, he didn’t want to connect my electronics to his computer in case his computer blew up. So I built an optical isolating device, where the signal is
transmitted by light between the two, so there was no actual [wired] connection, and I could try out my terminal.” BY 1980, BERNERS�LEE was a 25-year-
old computer consultant posted at the giant European organisation for nuclear research known as CERN, where he went on to develop software to archive and link his own notes and documents, calling it “Enquire”. He was also confronted with a battalion of CERN physicists and their documents. Berners-Lee expanded on Enquire for a solution, using random links to easily access all information stored in CERN’s computers. His next step, in 1989, was to link information on computers across the world by creating a virtual mesh. It was the killer app the internet badly needed. So why didn’t he call it The Mesh? It sounded much like “mess”. He even considered TIM, short for The Information Mine. But TIM seemed too self-important for the soft- spoken, unassuming Tim. It was finally christened the world wide web. In 1990, he February
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came up with the first “WorldWide- When you put that first website online, Web” browser and the first ever web- how many people did you imagine site (info.cern.ch/hypertext/ W W W / would use the internet one day? TheProject.html , which is still out Oh, there was no time for science there amid some 985 million others). fiction. I just spent a lot of time trying The WWW took off despite the to make sure the system didn’t break. sceptics, partly because its inventor I wanted to get people involved. never sought any patent rights or I’d written a web browser editor, royalty, in order to which ran on the NeXT ensure its free expanmachine, a black magsion – something he’s nesium-alloy machine “Everybody still striving to achieve made by Steve Jobs, through the World Wide which was very coo l involved has a We b Foundation he but not many people responsibility to launched in 2009. The had them. So I needed make sure that foundation’s website to persuade people to (www.webfoundation. wr ite them fo r ot her the web really computers. I had to org) has also become a does serve the forum for human rights, persuade people to put information on the online privacy issues needs of and for the openness web, so I had to go to humanity” and neutrality of the conferences, I had to internet. write documentation, teach people about how to use it, and CONSIDERED TECH ROYALTY, Sir write software. Tim Berners-Lee, knighted by the Queen in 2004, answered Reader’s When you see Facebook or Wikipedia Digest’s questions about the present, today, what do you think? past and future of his c yber creation. To a certain extent, the original [idea] I had for the web was that it would What made you create the web? be a very read-write medium [like I needed it. The internet had been Facebook or Wikipedia]. Imagine there for 20 years, so computers were you are in a working group designconnected to each other. Many docu- ing something, whether it’s a bridge ments on disks were going round and or writing a book, or an article, that round between computers, which you could sha re all you r ideas in were connected to the internet, but it was impossible to get at them. I put * Text stored in a computer system that contains links to other texts, documents, etc. these things together. 78
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a web of hypertext*, which is read-write. So whenever you think, Oh, this connects that , you can make a link. The original browser I wrote allowed you to edit. I thought that it was very important that everybody could edit. But for many years before the Wikis were invented, most browsers did not allow you to edit.
Y M A L A / S S E R P A M U Z : O T O H P
But why? Te old NeX computer used by Berners-Lee at CERN I think that was partly because the initial Isn’t that quite a lot? growth of the web was fuelled by the It’s quite a lot, but it raises the question, adaptation of lots of existing docu- “What about the other two-thirds?” It mentation systems. They were read- means that the gap between the rich only, so most people imagined that’s and the poor has now been increased what the web should be. to include the gap between the information-rich and the information-poor. Now that people use the web everywhere, what do you have to say? How exactly will your foundation’s I think everybody who’s been involved work help people? in it has a large responsibility to make I’ve been pushing for people and sure that the web really does serve governments to put data on the web. the needs of humanity. The web is When the Indian gove rnment, for becoming crucial to humanity. But example, puts its data on the web, it being an artificial system, we can people in India and outside can see change it. If we think it can do better, the state of India. They can see where we can design it better. So I think we the buses run, they can see what’s have a strong responsibility to make the state of the roads, the state of its sure that the web is optimal, as good education, and so on. as it can be in terms of its design. Having data out there is important Though just one-third of humanity for disaster preparedness. When the actually uses the web. [2010] Haiti earthquake struck, there February
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weren’t really any good online maps about [the capital] Port-au-Prince, but then something very interesting happened. A satellite company released high-resolution photographs and amateur mapmakers all over the world went to www.openstreetmap.org, which is like Wikipedia for maps, where anybody can go and edit a map. They just flocked to the map of Haiti and it’s amazing how they filled in the roads, they filled in the earthquake damage, they marked blocked roads, hospitals and refugee camps, even a floating hospital which had been brought in. So, within a very short time there was a very reliable map and there was a testimonial from some member of the Red Cross saying that when he downloaded it on to his GPS device, it was invaluable for getting around the damaged city. So your foundation wants to promote this kind of work? While not specifically into crisis management, the foundation wants to get involved in trying to accelerate people’s getting on the web. For example, most of the web started off in English. Now there is a lot of Chinese but what if somebody in a
rural village, who only speaks the local dialect, needs to use the web to try to understand why their crops have got a disease, for example? So we have a duty to make sure that we include people who at the moment speak languages that are not very well represented or may not be represented on the web. We want to make sure that the web actually extends to people in rural communities, even to urban poor communities. At the moment, because the web is very much text-based, the foundation is looking at what we can do to involve people who are illiterate and also help with their literacy. The web you created has changed the world. But it’s also brought about access to pornography, hacking, internet scams and whatnot. Does that trouble you? If you look at the web what you see is humanity connected. When you look at humanity, you see good and bad, you see all kinds. You see ups and downs, you see wonderful things and boring things. Humanity is very rich and very diverse. But for me today, when it comes to humanity, I’m an optimist.
WORDPLAY
I saw a guy spill Scrabble letters on the road, I asked him; “What’s the word on the street?” REDDIT.COM
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Quotable Quotes HOW’S ANYONE EVER GOING TO COME UP WITH A BOOK OR A PAINTING OR A SYMPHONY OR A SCULPTURE THAT CAN COMPETE WITH A GREAT CITY? YOU CAN’T. WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND, EVERY STREET, EVERY BOULEVARD IS ITS OWN SPECIAL ART FORM. G i l P e n d e r, a n o s t a l g i c s c r e e n w r i t e r p l a y e d b y O W E N W I L S O N i n M i d n i g h t i n P a r i s (2011)
HOW DO YOU SPELL “LOVE”? � PIGLET YOU DON’T SPELL IT... YOU FEEL IT. � POOH A. A. MILNE IN WINNIE-THE-POOH
CHILDREN IN A FAMILY ARE LIKE FLOWERS IN A BOUQUET: THERE’S ALWAYS ONE DETERM INED TO FACE IN AN OPPOSITE DIRECTION FROM THE WAY THE ARRANGER DESIRES. MARCELEN E COX, h u m o u r i s t
I never knew anybody ... who found life simple. I think a life or a time looks simple when you leave out the details. URSULA K. LE GUIN, author
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. E.E. CUMMINGS, poet S E G A M I Y T T E G : S O T O H P
AND IN THE END, THE LOVE YOU TAKE IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE. JOHN LENN ON AND PAUL MCCARTNEY
I believe that the best measure of whether a nation is going to be successful is whether they are tapping the talents of their women.
BARACK OBAMA
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DRAMA IN REAL LIFE
LOST ON THE
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Hiker Alex Sverdlov trusted his experience and fitness to keep him safe, until a surprise snowstorm stranded him on Mauna Loa
VOLCANO BY ALBERT SAMAHA
FROM
THE VILLAGE VOICE
WITH ADDITIONS BY THE AUTHOR
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AT 7AM ALEX SVERDLOV PARKED his
rented white Ford Focus near the start of the trail on Mauna Loa. The January sky was bright blue, the sun mellow, and he felt grateful to be on the island of Hawaii instead of home in New York, where the forecast predicted snow. He’d landed in Hawaii the previous day and immediately signed up with the National Park Service for a permit to hike and stay overnight in the remote Mauna Loa area, starting today, Sunday, through to Wednesday. The hike to the summit of Mauna Loa, or “Long Mountain”, is about 40km. The biggest active volcano on Earth, it rises gradually from the sea to 4169m, but its flat terrain and gentle slopes can deceive. The climate at the top is fickle and the weather is unpredictable, but the forecast for the area called for mostly sunny days. Sverdlov strapped on his backpack, which held his sleeping bag, food, extra-thick down jacket and other supplies, and walked towards the trail, pausing at a tall warning sign: “Freezing conditions may occur at any time of year… Beware of deep earthcracks, loose rocks, and thin lava crusts”. But the 36-year-old hiker knew what to expect – he had climbed the volcano alone a year ago. The threeand-a-half-day hike was peaceful and not steep, but it was challenging enough that he decided to summit the volcano again. Strenuous adventures appealed to him. The ground was rocky and dusty at the start of the trail, 2000m above sea level. By early afternoon he was 11km 84
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in, at 3000m. The incline increased. At the top of the slope, the trail opened onto a reddish plain. At the base of a hill sat a wooden cabin with an orange roof, Red Hill Cabin, where he spent the night. Sverdlov hit the trail around sunrise. The terrain changed often at this altitude: wavy, light brown dried lava, brick-red stone fields, charcoal-grey volcanic rock. It was a landscape shaped by countless eruptions, the last of which had occurred in 1984. The trail curved around depressions and cracks in the ground more than 3m deep. Every 100m or so, rocks stacked into hiphigh towers delineated the trail. The trail veered away from the summit to Mauna Loa Summit cabin, where Sverdlov stopped for the night. Tomorrow he’d hike the 8km to the summit, then trek directly down to Red Hill by nightfall. He’d be back on Wednesday in time to meet friends for dinner. His hiking trip was going perfectly. MONDAY.
; R E T T I R N H O J V Y O B L N D O I R E T V A S R T X S E U L L A L I F O O T Y O S H E T P ) R U E G O C A P ) E S G U A O I P V S I E R H P T ( (
The rocky trail to the summit – before the snows
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Clouds had rolled in overnight, dropping thick fog and, unexpectedly, a light speckle of snow. Sverdlov wasn’t concerned; the walk to the summit had taken him only three hours last time. He pulled on sweatpants, a face mask that covered his mouth and nose, a skullcap, a wool undershirt, a fleece layer and a windbreaker. Halfway to the summit, he stopped at Jaggar’s Cave to stow his heavy backpack. For this final stretch, he’d need only a water bottle, two granola bars, and his camera. It started to drizzle, then 800m from the summit, the rain turned to snow. Sverdlov considered turning back, but the snow was light and the scene was beautiful. When he reached the summit at about noon, a white curtain of fog shrouded the vista. He’d planned to stay an hour, but he knew the snow would slow him down. A minute or two after he began his descent, it started snowing harder. The TUESDAY.
Y M A L A / R E K O R B E G A M I : O T O H P
wind blasted the flakes into his face, partially blinding him. Before long the snow was up to his shins. Should have brought snowshoes, Sverdlov chided himself. Just then, his hiking boot punched through a thin crust of dried lava beneath the snow and he tumbled onto his back. His right knee hurt, but he felt lucky: the fall should have broken his leg. He marched on. Snow continued to fall and the wind gusts blew stronger. But his legs were strong and his confidence stronger. What an adventure , he thought. He stopped to take a drink only to find the water in his bottle had frozen. Despite his thirst, he knew better than to eat snow, which would lower his body temperature and hasten dehydration. At dusk, Sverdlov passed a wooden sign that showed he’d descended 3km from the summit: another 800m to Jaggar’s Cave, then 16km to Red Hill Cabin. But the world had turned grey. Snow and sky were indistinguishable. His phone was useless, so he turned February
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it off. The trail markers were hard to He was no longer on the mountain. make out as his surroundings faded He was floating. It felt good. He dazed into blackness. in and out of hallucinations. Then he Where was the trail marker? Sverdlov snapped back to reality. looked around, but it was nearly pitch “I’m still here, damn it!” he shouted. black. For the first time, it occurred to At some point he fell asleep. him that he would not make it back to the cave tonight. He was exhausted. JOHN BROWARD, Hawaii Volcanoes The thought of rest consumed his National Park’s search-and-rescue comind. ordinator, arrived at the Visitor EmerHis watch said 9pm. He sat down, gency Operations Center near Mauna hugging his legs and tucking one Loa’s southern base at about 8am. fleece sleeve into the other to keep Tuesday. He picked up an advisory his hands from freezing. He coughed from the National Weather Service. violently and it hurt to swallow. A storm was on the way that would In the thin air, less oxygen reached hit the summit with 30cm of snow, his brain. This, combined with the temperatures to –6°C, and wind gusts lack of water, made him dizzy, light- up to 80km/h. A check of the park headed, his thoughts in a fog. With permits showed that Alex Sverdlov his body no longer in motion, his core would be at or near the summit. temperature began to drop. Broward had handled more than Sverdlov had never been in this 150 searches in his career, which inmuch trouble on a hike, and he’d cluded parks in Oregon and Florida. gone on scores of them. Growing up To date, Broward’s team had found the only child in a single-parent fam- all but one hiker alive. Only once had ily in New York, Sverdlov often went a hiker gone missing in the snow, hiking in the Catskill Mountains. though, and he was found safe. After graduating from Brook lyn ColWhen lost hikers are caught in a lege, he got a job there as a computer- snowstorm, Broward thought, some science professor and consulted on curl up on the ground, some keep the side. In his free time he went on marching. Some hide in caves . The a dozen long hikes a year. Hawaii mountain encompassed more than was an annual destination. He’d con- 5000km²; if Sverdlov hunkered down in quered Mauna Kea in 2012, Mauna one of Mauna Loa’s many caves, they Loa the following January. And now might not find him for years. The body here he was back for a rematch, and of the last person to die on Mauna Loa, the mountain was killing him. a park employee about 20 years back, As the hours passed, he felt was never found. enveloped by warmth and comfort. Broward filed an affidavit with 86
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Sverdlov’s phone-service provider. Even when a phone has no bars, it emits a faint signal, and the company can triangulate its location. Of course, the phone must be switched on. A search-and-rescue mission could begin only after a hiker was overdue. Sverdlov wouldn’t be officially missing until his scheduled return on Wednesday night. For now he was on his own. WEDNESDAY. When
Sverdlov awoke, he was relieved to have survived
His pace slowed. Cracks in the ground tripped him, snowdrifts swallowed him to the shoulders the night. It had been cold but not much below freezing. The storm had calmed enough for him to see a desert of white powder at least 30cm deep, even deeper in the drifts. His confidence returned. The trail couldn’t be far. He was sure he would reach Red Hill today. If he made it early enough, he’d keep going and reach the bottom of the mountain in time to meet his friends for dinner. Sverdlov came to a tower of stones cloaked in snow. Guessing the trail’s path, he soon passed another tower.
Late in the morning, he spotted three trail markers clustered in the distance. His backpack! He pulled the backpack out of the snow, set up the stove and scooped snow into the pot. He hadn’t had a drink of water in nearly 24 hours, but the snow boiled down to less than a cup of water and cost much of his fuel. After eating a trail-mix bar, he tugged out a down jacket and thick mittens, and strapped on the headlamp. Now equipped for the cold and darkness, Sverdlov started for Red Hill Cabin shortly before noon. The snow was deeper than yesterday, almost knee high in some stretches. His pace slowed. Cracks in the ground tripped him, snowdrifts swallowed him to the shoulders. He focused his mind and energy on each step, methodical and cautious. When night fell, the headlamp was not powerful enough to illuminate trail markers in the distance, but at least he could see more than shadows. Then he saw three or four tents at the edge of the headlamp’s beam. And people! Then he blinked and they disappeared and only snow lay ahead. The night went on the same way. To his eyes, he was walking through a white-walled tunnel. When the hallucinations came, he felt as if his mind had split in two, one looking through the tunnel, one drifting into the abstract. Sometime past 11pm, he approached another trail marker. Coming closer, he noticed that it was not a tower of February
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stones but a rock protruding from the ground. How many snow-covered rocks had he mistaken for markers? As he retraced his footprints, he coughed. He’d been coughing at a steady rate for two days now. The thin air and nonstop marching had worn on his lungs. He hadn’t had water since morning, and his mouth was dry and his throat aching. His face burned. He was very tired.
snow stopped falling on Wednesday, John Broward sent a ranger up the Mauna Loa trail. Another left a note on Sverdlov’s car. If Sverdlov didn’t turn up by nightfall, the search would begin. Broward gathered his half-dozen staff in the dispatch centre and laid out the plan for the next day: several rangers would fan out from the start of the trail and work up the mountain; Broward would search from a helicopter.
He had made it this far without a serious injury, but it was only a matter of time before the elements defeated him
Unlike on Tuesday and Wednesday, Sverdlov didn’t awaken with the confidence that he’d reach Red Hill Cabin on this day. His legs were sore, his head hurting, his whole body exhausted. He found the trail shortly after sunrise. He trudged forward more slowly than before. The wind had calmed. By now he was almost used to falling through snowdrifts. Sometimes the snow was hard and supported his weight, sometimes it held for a second before giving way. He felt the powder and crumbled it through his fingers. Scooping up a handful, he patted it into a melonsize ball and gently placed it on the ground. He sculpted two more balls, plunked them on top, and took a few moments to stare at his snowman before continuing on.
Around midnight, unable to find the trail, he unrolled his sleeping bag, slid inside, and zipped it. He turned on his phone to check the signal. Nothing. He turned it off. Two days of struggle, and Sverdlov was barely 5km from the summit of Mauna Loa. At least 14km to Red Hill. Perhaps this situation was beyond him , he thought. He had trusted t hat his hiking experience would get him through, but he still was far from the cabin. He had made it this far without a serious injury, but it was only a matter of time before the elements defeated him. 88
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AFTER THE
THURSDAY.
of the rescue that had drawn Broward to the job wh en he wa s at Fl orida St at e IT WAS THE THRILL
READER’S DIGEST
University in the early 1980s: the idea of spending days enjoying nature’s beauty and protecting people from its cruelty – jumping out of helicopters, fighting fires, rappelling down ravines. But Broward felt no thrill on Thursday morning, just nerves. The helicopter lifted off at 8.30. He looked out the window to the right. The pilot, a private contractor who’d flown more than 70 rescue missions with him in Hawaii, looked out the left side and ahead. The helicopter hovered above the trail. An experienced hiker might locate the snow-covered path, Broward thought. The helicopter soared past the volcano’s 3350m marker. It moved slowly enough for the two men to scan for clues: footprints, an object, or movement. To Broward, the snow was now a blessing. The uninterrupted white landscape that made it easy for a hiker to get lost also made a lost hiker easier to spot. The farther up the mountain they flew, the more barren and uniformly white it got. Past 3700m. Still nothing. Not a glove or a hat or a hiking pole. This was a massive mountain – plenty of space THE VILLAGE VOICE
for a lost hiker to wander into. Broward saw nothing but unbroken snow. “He’s right there!” the pilot said suddenly. “Where? I don’t see him.” “Right in front of us. Twelve o’clock.” Catching sight of Sverdlov, Broward felt the tension leave his body for the first time in two days. heard a faint buzzing noise before he spotted a grey speck moving across the sky. A helicopter! He waved his arms, as if the people in the helicopter might not see him. Then he realised: they’re here for me! The chopper landed and a man in a green jacket and white helmet hopped out. They met halfway. “Are you search and rescue?” Alex asked. “Yes.” Sverdlov hugged him. Aboard the helicopter, sitting in the back row, he noticed the red letters on the back of his rescuer’s helmet : “BROWARD”. It was then Sverdlov realised that he had just experienced the happiest moment of his life. SVERDLOV
(MARCH 11, 2014), © 2014 BY VOICE MEDIA GROUP, INC., BLOGS.VILLAGEVOICE.COM
FOOTBALL PUNDITRY AT ITS MOST I NCISIVE “[Everton are] a team of men”. JAMIE REDKNAPP, SKY SPORTS
“I think one of these teams could win this.” COMMENTATOR ANDY TOWNSEND, BEFORE THE UEFA SUPER CUP FOOTBALL FINAL
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illo approx 124 mm wide x 84 mm high +3 mm bleed
Nigerian Scam Money transfer fraud has been around longer than email BY DANIEL ENGBER
FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES
THE NIGERIAN SCAM may seem like
a scourge of the internet age, but it predates email. Before we started getting all-caps proposals in our inboxes, con men in West Africa plied their trade by fax and paper letter. Some of the first scams to make their way to Western Europe arrived by telex in 1989 and 1990, when British businessmen started hearing that a wayward tanker of Nigerian crude could have its cargo claimed for bargain prices – in exchange, of course, for some cash upfront. Before then, Nigerian 90
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fraudsters aimed their grifts at locals. One scheme was the “wash-wash”, a literal money-laundering in which the mark is shown a suitcase of supposed bills blackened with Vaseline and iodine and promised a cut if he pays for an expensive cleaning agent. Advance-fee or 419 scams, known by the section of the Nigerian criminal code that outlaws fraud, took on a global character when oil prices crashed along with the national economy. A newly installed military ruler, Ibrahim Babangida, cut salaries for
E S A H C T T A M : N O I T A R T S U L L I
civil servants and the military and ended currency price supports. The English-speaking, entrepreneurial class found itself with little buying power and in need of foreign money. “Some guys started perpetrating fraud,” says Andrew Apter, an Africa historian at the University of California in Los Angeles. “They used the language, insignias and letterhead of financial offices to lure people in.” Apter has traced this sort of misuse of official iconography as far back as a century. When Nigeria was established as a British colony in 1914, its first governor cracked down on scammers in fake uniforms who claimed to be collecting taxes on behalf of the empire. THE
NEW YORK TIMES
The advance-fee scam itself – whereby payments are extracted from a sucker who hopes to gain a treasure – seems to have originated elsewhere. According to historian Robert Whitaker at the University of Texas, an earlier version of the con, known as the Spanish Swindle or the Spanish Prisoner trick, plagued Britain during the 19th century. These days, a Nigerian address may even aid some scammers. In 2012, a researcher with Microsoft tried to model the con artist’s behaviour and concluded that a clear tip-off – an email address in Nigeria, for example – could, by scaring off the web-savvy or more suspicious sorts, enable them to focus on the most gullible victims.
(JANUARY 3, 2014) © 2014 BY THE NEW YORK TIMES CO., NEW YORK
SCAMMING THE SCAMMERS In 2003, Mike Berry was a computer engineer in Manchester when he started replying to and “baiting” Nigerian scammers over email for fun. His website, www.419eater.com, is a forum and archives funny “scambaiting” stories. RD: It sounds like a full-time job. MB: It’s not really that tricky. A lot of scammers will twig straightaway. You may only get ten per cent who will stick with you. RD: Your success rate is ten per cent? MB: That’s for a decent
success, either a long time keeping the guy busy, or a trophy like a funny picture. RD: It sounds as if you’re even better at this than they are. MB: I do remember I sent a scammer a fake passport, and it was such a good fake that
at the end of the scambait, when he realised what had happened, he offered to pay me US$12,000 a month for ten passports. You’ve got to think of what this guy must have been earning to offer me that kind of money!
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AGAINST THE ODDS
The
Girl Who
Wouldn’t
Break
Jessica’s bones might be fragile but her spirit was fighting fit – and her body responded BY ANITA BARTHOLOMEW
N E I R B ’
O E C I R T A P N I R E Y B D E H P A R G O T O H P
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J
from her wheelchair and hustled her into her mother’s deep blue Honda SUV for the trip to the hospital. Distraught, the elfin 15-year-old begged them: “Don’t take me. Please, I don’t want to go.” She’d had more surgeries than birthdays; spent more time racked with pain, recovering from fractures and operations, than she’d spent just being a kid. She couldn’t do it any more. Yet, even as she pleaded to be left alone, she knew she had no choice. ESSICA BERNSTEIN’S PARENTS LIFTED HER
A few months earlier, in the winter of 2009, Dr Jenny Frances, her surgeon at the Children’s Center at Manhattan’s Hospital for Joint Diseases in New York, had given her a reprieve. One of the supporting metal rods inside Jessica’s leg bones had shifted position. But when she begged off getting it corrected, Dr Frances agreed to wait until Jessica felt ready. But now sharp pains in Jessica’s right leg told her something was very wrong. Treatment could wait no longer. Jessica had been born with osteogenesis imperfecta (OI), a rare genetic disorder also known as brittle bone disease. So fragile was her skeleton that both her legs had broken and healed again before she was even born. Countless more fractures followed, almost always to her legs. As a tot, Jessica wanted to do everything her older sister Marisa did. When other kids were toddling, she pulled herself along on her bottom. Fearing the pressure would fracture her 94
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arms, her grandfather built a scooter to place under her belly so she could zip around the house. In second grade, Jessica was fitted with leg braces that extended from her hips to her ankles. Thrilled to be walking on her own for the first time in her young life, she wore them 24 hours a day. But the following year, as she walked through a doorway at school, Jessica’s foot caught on the threshold. That slight misstep – she didn’t fall – was enough to break both her legs. Three surgeries and 18 months later, something had changed in the spunky little girl. Until then, Jessica had always been determined to push herself beyond expectations. But now, she sat in her wheelchair, reluctant to do the gruelling post-surgery physical therapy that could help her get onto her crutches and back to school. She loved that her friends came often to hang out with her, but she envied them, too. They were free to play outside and do all the things that everyone else could
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do. She wanted to be just a regular kid, but even more than that, she wanted to be safe from more pain. By the time she returned to school in the fourth grade, she cautiously got back to using two crutches, but decided not to even try to get around on just one, as she’d done in the past. She didn’t want to fall again. As a little girl, she’d braved the frequent blood tests her condition required. Now she cried and begged the nurses to leave
BACK IN HOSPITAL, the
15-year old imagined her efforts had been for nothing. From experience, she knew postsurgical recovery would be long – six months or more – and painful. But she had a pleasant surprise. This current operation would be somewhat simpler than earlier ones, Frances explained, as they reviewed her X-rays. Because the bone had broken at the top only, they could use a smaller incision to pull out the old rod and insert a new
THRILLED AT HOW MUCH BETTER SHE FELT AFTER SURGERY, SHE STARTED TO GET BACK SOME OF HER OLD DETERMINATION her be. No more surgeries. No more blood tests. No more – period. She’d had enough of it all for a lifetime. By the time she was 14, she’d reached what doctors expected to be close to her full height: just 1.07m. But without much physical activity, her weight had ballooned. She wanted to wear the sparkly tops and flowery dresses that all her friends wore. It was especially important to look her best now that boys were suddenly on her radar. So, she challenged herself to lose weight and started to exercise more. The excess weight dropped away and she felt better about herself than she had in years. Then came the pain in her right leg. Something was seriously wrong.
one, instead of making the usual long incision from the top to the bottom of the leg. A few day s after the operation, Jessica was surprised to find herself able to sit up in a wheelchair. By the end of her nine-day hospital stay, she tentatively hefted herself onto her crutches – an even bigger undertaking – being careful to keep the wounded leg from touching the floor. Thrilled at how much better she felt than she had anticipated, she started getting back some of her old determination. Early stage physical therapy usually involved very little movement. “But I realised I could do a lot more,” says Jessica. Experimenting with new exercises, relying on her own sense of how February 2015
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far her body could go, “I kind of just made it up on my own.” Using her walker for support, she practised lifting her body up with her arms, and swinging her legs back and forth. Within six weeks, she could bend her knee. That, too, was the soonest ever. To ensure she didn’t lose muscle in the leg, with Frances’s blessing she wrapped a small weight around her ankle and did leg lifts. She taught herself
friends as they began their first year of high school together. But Jessica had a dream. Her family lived just four houses from an idyllic beach on the Rocka way peninsula’s Atlantic shore. Jessica longed to stroll the boardwalk like her neighbours but had never been nimble enough on her crutches, or “sticks”, as she called them, to navigate the wooden slats. She decided it was time
THE CLACK OF HER “STICKS” ON THE BOARDWALK WAS THE SOUND OF INDEPENDENCE. LIFE SUDDENLY FELT RICHER yoga poses. “It helped. I wouldn’t get so stiff.” She spun on an indoor exercise bike, each day getting stronger and more confident. Frances was stunned, but pleased, that a teenager with OI could become an “exercise fanatic”. Her 15-year-old body cooperated, up to a point. But soon it was clear that her calf wasn’t healing properly. Doctors would have to go back in to do another repair. And Jessica would start from the beginning again. But now, she knew something she hadn’t before. Her bones might be fragile but her body was capable of more. And her spirit was fighting fit as well. It was getting easier every time to get back to where she was before the operation. She’d healed well enough to join her 96
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to try. Trekking to the end of the street, she took the ramp up to the wooden walkway, delighting in the scent of the sea and the call of the gulls. The clack of her “sticks” on the boardwalk was the sound of independence. Life suddenly felt richer, more complete. The boardwalk stroll became part of her daily routine. Then in late October 2012, Hurricane Sandy struck and the massive waves it caused ripped the boardwalk from its moorings. With the boardwalk gone, Jessica couldn’t stroll along the beach. Her crutches would be useless on the soft sand. The thought saddened her until she realised this setback didn’t have to stop her. She had an idea: what if I could walk without sticks? With renewed resolve, hanging onto
READER’S DIGEST
When Jessica first walked on the sand, it was an amazing feeling of freedom
furniture for balance, Jessica practised getting around the house with a single crutch. It was less difficult than she’d imagined. “So, then, I started to do it quicker.” Soon, single stick under her arm, she was walking around the yard. After a few weeks, she was able to walk around the house with no crutch at all, holding onto anything that could stabilise her.
One February afternoon, when the sun was low in the sky and the winds calm, Jessica dressed in her workout clothes – pink sneakers, grey sweatshirt and leggings – and left the house, single crutch under her arm. Neighbours ambled along the beach, some walking their dogs. She headed in their direction, stepping for the first time beyond where the pavement ended. Her stick, more impediment than help, sank in the sand. Stopping a moment, she lifted the crutch until it rested across her arms. She took another step. The sand didn’t feel the way she’d imagined, but it was wonderful: soft and yielding, yet demanding. She adjusted her stance to find her balance, then coaxed herself along, watching all the other people who took this simple act for granted. To walk freely – they had no idea how amazing it all was. “I felt so proud,” she says. “It was like I’d given birth to the sand.” Jessica recently began classes at a nearby college. She loves to bake and although it means long hours of standing – something she might not have dreamed she could do a few years befo re – she’s decided to follow her heart and study the culinary arts.
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ENVIRONMENT
Vigorous woody vines – called lianas – can smother mature trees and cause their death
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Tangle J ungle in the
Giant vines are beginning to strangle Earth’s tropical forests. It’s a down-and-dirty war BY WILLIAM LAURANCE FROM NEW SCIENTIST
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aze out over a tropical rainforest and the scene looks idyllic – a kaleidoscope of trees festooned with colourful vines, orchids, ferns and lichens. Don’t be fooled. Myriad ecological battles are being fought beneath this tranquil surface. None is more embittered than that between trees and their ancient enemies, the vines.
like myself who study instead taking advantage of the trees’ these jungle ecosystems are now investments to scramble up to the top seeing a shift in this war. Until a decade of the forest and produce great flushes or so ago the two adversaries were of leaves that bask brazenly in the sun. Francis Putz, professor of biology evenly matched, but vines now seem to be on the march. If that continues, the at the University of Florida, highface of our forests – and of our planet lighted this fraught relationship in a – could be changed irrevocably. We 1980 paper entitled “Lianas vs Trees”. are left scrabbling to unearth the root Lianas, or woody vines, can grow to be hundreds of metres long, with cause. If the forest were a stems over half a metre across. Trees pay a high financial system, trees would be its old money. price for their presence. Trees bearing Lianas can strangle and Deeply rooted, they grow slowly, investing heavdeform a tree’s branches, lianas usually their dense foliage robs ily over time in woody grow more trees of life-giving suntrunks and branches slowly, light, and their roots to support their leaves, scarf up vital nutrients and providing homes reproduce less for a zoo of other speand water. Trees bearand die sooner ing lianas usually grow cies. Vines, on the other hand, would be the more slowly, reproduce than those less and die sooner than flashy junk-bond tradwithout ers. Representing up to those without. Once lianas reach the half of the plant species in a typical rainforest and producing canopy, they often climb laterally, efup to 40% of all leaves, they are down- fectively roping trees together so that, and-dirty competitors. They invest when one falls, it can drag down others. almost nothing in supportive tissue, This is why loggers hate them: if they BIOLOGISTS
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don’t cut every liana linked to a tree before felling it, another may be yanked down on top of them. “Loggers call them ‘widow-makers’,” says Putz. There are obvious reasons why some v i n e s a r e b e c o m ing more prevalent. Humans have introduced invasive species, such as the rubber vine to Northern Australia and kudzu to the south-eastern US, that smother native forests, grasslands and waterways. Most vines are light-loving, and increase rapidly in forests that have been fragmented by agriculture or selectively logged. Small, regenerating trees on the edge of disturbed forests provide ideal trellises for climbing quickly into the canopy. A decade ago, my colleagues and I revealed much higher liana abundances in fragmented than in intact William Laurance is a distinguished research professor and Australian Laureate at James Cook University in Cairns, Australia. He holds the Prince Bernhard Chair in International Nature Conservation at Utrecht University in the Netherlands.
Vines climb, scramble, reach and drape: linking different forest layers
Amazonian forests. Trees in thes e areas are beleaguered, dying two to three times as fast as normal.
Dynamic Drivers But vines are also proliferating in undisturbed forests. Oliver Phillips of the University of Leeds in the UK and February 2015 •
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his colleagues revealed the affected areas, yet in 2002 that lianas had Several studies there is little evidence increased sharply at the for such an effect. suggest that Instead, a more subtle expense of trees at sites across western Amazodriver seems to be at vines, with nia. Something similar play: rapidly rising levels higher photohas been seen in nearly of atmospheric carbon synthetic rates, dioxide. CO2 fuels photoa dozen other intact forests in Central and synthesis, and the more are poised to South America. “It was there is, the faster plants take advantage grow. Faster growth controversial at first,” says Phillips, “but few creates more compeof rising CO2 doubt it now.” tition among plants What’s happening? for light, space and A likely cause is that tropical forests nutrients, which in turn drives higher around the globe are becoming more rates of tree death and regeneration. dynamic, with trees dying and regen- Rising CO 2 could also favour vines erating more rapidly – conditions that directly. Several studies over the past strongly favour vines. It is possible few years suggest that vines, with high that global warming is intensifying photosynthetic rates, an abundance windstorms that increase tree fall in of energy-producing leaves and little costly supportive tissue, are primed to take advantage of rising CO2. Vines attach themselves to their supports using loops, fine aerial roots or adhesive pads
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Diversity destroyers This isn’t to imply we know everything about the onslaught of vines. So far the trend has been spotted in undisturbed forests only in the Americas. Longterm studies are needed elsewhere to ensure this isn’t a coincidence of geography. I wonder, too, about the fate of remote forests I have studied in the Congo basin. Vines there are naturally abundant because of disturbance by forest elephants. Yet elephant populations are collapsing from overhunting. Might vine numbers in these forests actually begin to decline?
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Most evidence, however, suggests that Earth is heading for a viney future. This worries ecologists l ike Stefan Schnitzer at the University of Wisc onsi n-M ilw au kee. “Vines can change forests in a lot of ways,” he says. “They hit big, slow-growing trees far harder than smaller, fastergrowing species, meaning they can probably change the entire composition of the forest.” It’s not just trees that are at risk. Ainhoa Magrach, a postdoctoral colleague of mine at James Cook Uni versity in Cairns, Australia, has found that plants that live on trees, such as ferns, tend to be excluded in regions where vines are dense. These ferns are little islands of biodiversity, sustaining NEW SCIENTIST
many animals in the rainforest canopy. A few species have mutualisms with aggressive ants that attack encroaching vines, but most are not so lucky. The biggest worry is that proliferating vines could reduce carbon storage. Forests lock up billions of tonnes of carbon in woody tissue, and when vines kill or suppress trees some of that carbon is released into the atmosphere. Studies in Panama and Amazonia suggest rampaging vines replace just a small fraction of the carbon they cause trees to release. That could induce a positive feedback, with still more greenhouse gases and a warmer future for us all. If that goes too far, we really could be heading for a planet of the vines.
(OCTOBER 2, 2013) © 2013 REED BUSINESS INFORMATION, UK
FAST FACTS ABOUT VINES Most vine species have evolved to fill an evolutionary niche. They climb by using other plants for support, which allows them to reach the forest canopy with comparative ease. In a stable ecosystem, they help animals move from tree to tree, keeping them safe from predators. Lianas are simply woody vines. l Even native vines can kill trees through strangulation, excessive weight, damaging the tree’s bark and out-competing the tree for resources. l Introduced vines can have devastating effects on forests. Kudzu is native to Eastern Asia. It is an edible legume and farmers planted it to increase soil fertility and stop erosion. Unfortunately, it is now a serious problem in the US, Vanuatu, Fiji and Northern Australia. Rubber vine is native to Madagascar, but became popular as an ornamental plant and is now naturalised from Indonesia to Latin America. It is a widespread weed in Northern Australia. l The Amazon and other major old-growth tropical forests are vital carbon storage systems that help mitigate the effects of climate change, despite current concentrations of atmospheric carbon having reached about 400 parts per million. With the rapid increase in lianas, the tropical terrestrial carbon sink may shut down much sooner than current scientific models predict. l
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Neighbours said the Catts were “regular, everyday people”. What happened?
TRUE CRIME TRUE CRIME SUBSCRIBER
BONUS
The
Family That Robbed Banks Widower Scott Catt had a secret life as a bank robber. But when he wanted accomplices, he turned to the two people he trusted most in the world: his kids BY SKIP HOLLANDSWORTH FROM TEXAS MONTHLY
P H O T OS : J O H N N Y M I L L E R
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UST AFTER SUNRISE ON AUGUST 9, 2012, in
the Houston suburb of Katy, Scott Catt, a 50-year-old structural engineer, was awakened by his alarm clock in the apartment he shared with his 20-year-old son, Hayden, and his 18-year-old daughter, Abby. Scott took a shower, dried off, got dressed, and walked into the living room. Abby and Hayden were waiting for him on the couch. “OK, kids,” Scott said. “You ready?”
Abby and Hayden nodd ed. The family headed out the door and walked towards Abby’s 1999 green Volkswagen Jetta. Scott was big, 1.92m and 108kg, and he squeezed himself into the passenger seat. Hayden, 1.87m and 91kg, crammed into the backseat. Abby started the car, and five minutes later, she pulled into a shopping centre and parked about 45m from a Comerica Bank. Scott grabbed a black garbage bag from the floorboard and took out two pairs of white painter’s coveralls, two painter’s masks, two pairs of latex gloves, and two Airsoft pistols (which look like real guns but shoot plastic pellets). He and Hayden put on their disguises in the Jetta. Scott clipped a walkie-talkie to his coveralls and handed another to Abby. It was 9.30. They sat for the next 30 minutes, until Scott said it was time to make their move. Abby dropped them off a few stores from the bank and 106
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drove to the alley behind it. Minutes later, her dad’s voice crackled through her walkie-talkie. “We’re going in,” he said.
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is the most traditional of crimes. It’s a simple act with an immediate payoff. All sorts of criminals have tried it. “If you’re in law enforcement long enough, you’ll eventually come across bank robbers of every shape and size,” said Troy Nehls, sheriff of Fort Bend County, which includes part of the Katy area. “But I’m not sure there has ever been a bank-robbing family.” The Catts were as unlikely a set of robbers as one could imagine. They had no pressing financial issues and no obvious personal problems. Scott, a widower, worked for an energy company. Abby was a sales assistant at Victoria’s Secret, and Hayden was hoping to be a hotel concierge. Around their apartment complex, the Catts were regarded as OBBING A BANK
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“regular, everyday people”, one of their a breath and blew it out. “I did it for neighbours said. Yet when it came to the family,” he said. “I swear to you, I robbing banks, said Nehls, “they were would rob banks only for my family.” very bold, very daring, and very risky. They’re lucky they didn’t get caught HE STORY BEGINS in up in a shoot-out.” McMinnville, Oregon, southThe Catts pulled off two robber west of Portland, where Scott ies: the first being the Comerica heist was born and raised. His father was and the second being the robbery of a a loan officer at First Federal Savings credit union, two months later. They and Loan. At McMinnville High were getting ready for a third when School, Scott played football and fell they were arrested in November 2012. in love with Beth Worral, a star of Reporters tried to find out why a the swim team. They married after father and his two children would graduation. After Beth had Hayden turn to bank robbery, and Abby, the Catts but the Catts weren’t built a house in talking. Then, late last Dundee – “our dream “I didn’t feel year, the three agreed house,” Scott told like a criminal. to plea deals, and they me. But in 1995, Beth consented to let me was di ag nos ed wi th I didn’t load my interview them. breast cancer, and she pistol. Who was I was allowed to died two years later. speak to only one Catt Hayden was five, and being hurt?” at a time. Abby was the Abby was two. said Scott Catt first to be escorted to At that point, Scott the visiting room. She told me, “life sort of sat on a chair, ducked came to a halt.” He her head, and said after a silence, began drinking heavily. He had a brief “Sometimes I feel so embarrassed second marriage. He went to rehab. about what’s happened that I just want He fell behind on house payments, to disappear.” and the family moved in with Scott’s Hayden came next. “Every night I mother. He went through a couple of stare at the ceiling, and I ask myself, jobs. His car was repossessed. ‘What were we thinking?’ ” he said. Between 2000 and 2002, he began Then Scott walked in. He gave me thinking about how to make extra a firm handshake, sat down, and money. He remembered one day his pushed his fingertips together. “All I father had come home and said First can tell you is that I thought it would Federal had been robbed. When Scott help us as a family,” he said. He took asked why no-one had stopped the
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thief, his father replied that the tellers Oregon.) “I didn’t feel like a criminal,” were trained to comply with robbers he told me. “I didn’t load my pistol. I – because the money was insured, the knew I wasn’t going to shoot anybody. bank would get it back. And I kept telling myself that whatever One morning, after dropping off the money I got was insured, so who was kids at school, Scott drove to a branch really being hurt?” of his dad’s old bank. He strode in wearing a baseball cap, black trackE A N W H I L E , S C O was suit pants, a white painter’s mask, and a devoted single father. He sunglasses. He was carrying a trash cooked dinner for his kids bag and an antique pistol – unloaded. almost every night and took them on He went up to a window, demanded vacations. When they got interested the teller’s money, and ordered her in competitive swimming, Scott drove not to add bait bills or dye packs. She them to training every day. dumped around $2500 into his bag. Abby and Hayden never once susScott walked back to his truck, drove pected that their father had a secret around for a while to see if he was life. “He’d be up and gone to work being followed, and went home. by 4.30 or 5 in the morning,” Hayden A couple of days later, th e local said. “He didn’t make great money, paper published a but we always apgrainy black-andpreciated how hard white fra me fro m a he worked to keep us Tere was no video showing the afloat.” accomplice robber. “My mother “Dad was a great motivator,” Abby told said the man looked Scott could trust a little like me, and I me. “At the beginto stay quiet – ning of each [swim] just laughed,” Scott except his said. “And that was it.” season, he pushed me to work hard and Scott did his next children heist a year later set goals. He told me after falling behind I could be somebody. on bills, and he got The night before every $1500 from another small bank. Then swim meet, he would cook us pork he landed a full-time job with an en- chops, noodles, applesauce, and a gineering company, earning $25 an protein shake. I loved it.” One time, Hayden qualified for the hour. Still, once a year he’d pull off a robbery, hauling in between $5000 state meet, and there was talk about a and $10,000. (Authorities believe college scholarship. But by the age of that he robbed at least five banks in 17, he said, he was drinking too much
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and quit swimming. Abby lost interest in the sport when she was 15. She started running with what she called “the drinking, partying crowd”, and she ended up in an alternative school. After graduation, Hayden found work as a hotel bellman and as a weekend tour guide, and he was still drinking too much. And Scott was again falling
behind financially. By 2010, it was time for another robbery. Scott knew that if he had accomplices, he could get cash from several tellers’ drawers and perhaps even get to the bank’s vault. But there was no-one he could trust to stay quiet – except his children. Maybe he should talk to them about joining him. He rationalised the idea. As long as they did what he said, they wouldn’t get caught. And he would use the money to start a small business they could run. “They we re floun de ring,” he told me. “I could see the despair in Hayden, and I thought he could use – I don’t know – some inspiration, some excitement. Same with Abby. All I can tell you is that I thought doing it would give us all a little boost in our lives – that it would help us as a family.” He approached his son. “We were sitting at the kitchen table,” Hayden recalled. “He said he had something February
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important to tell me. He said he had a second job as a part-time bank robber. The way he looked at me, I knew he wasn’t kidding.” Scott said he would be the “muscle”, leading the way in and scaring the employees and customers, and Hayden would be th e “bag man”, ordering tellers to put money into his bag. They’d wear disguises, go to the bank early in the morning before there were many customers, and be out within three minutes. Scott told his son they could easily grab $40,000 or more. On the morning of the robbery, Hayden was scared. Scott did the robbery by himself, getting a few thousand dollars, and came home before lunch. “He did it so quickly and so easily that it planted a seed,” Hayden told me. “I thought, My dad really does know what he’s doing .” Then Scott was laid off. By January
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2012, he’d found work in Houston and relocated there. Abby moved in with her grandmother in Oregon, and Hayden went to Hawaii and got a job at a hotel. It seemed like a new era. Scott’s job paid well, and he hoped he’d quit thinking about banks. But there were just so many in Texas.
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persuaded Abby to move to Texas. She landed a job at Victoria’s Secret. (She proudly announced on her Facebook page that she was a Victoria’s Secret “Pink Girl”.) A few months later, Hayden joined them, and it wasn’t long before he began talking to his father about a bank robbery. He wanted money for college. Scott picked out a nearby Comerica. He began walking past it in the mornings with the family’s yellow Labrador, Bella, to see when it got busy, and he had his son go in to learn the layout of the lobby. But they needed a geta way driver – and there was only one person who came to mind. Hayden spoke to Abby. “I need to tell you something,” he said. “Dad’s a bank robber; I’m going to become one, too, and we want you to join us.”
READER’S DIGEST
The next day, Scott talked to Abby, out. Scott took a ride on his motorcypromising her that all she’d have to cle, Hayden went shopping, and Abby do was drop them off, wait for them got a manicure. That night Abby was to return, and drive home at a normal still nervous – “I kept looking at the speed. She agreed to participate. “This door, waiting for the police to walk in,” was something I felt like I had to do, she said – but Hayden was overjoyed. to protect them, to make sure they got “I felt exhilaration, the most intense out of the bank and didn’t get shot high I’ve ever experienced,” he said. “It or something,” she told me. “I didn’t changed my life. I’ll be truthful about want to let Dad down.” that.” In the apartment, Hayden and Scott Scott paid off his bills. He bought practised bursting into a bank and a second motorcycle and a $17,000 yelling at everyone to get their hands Tahoe for Hayden and a $12,600 Ford up. They schedFocus for Abby (the uled the robbery for Jetta had engine trou August 9, when Abby ble). He and the kids At home, the had a day off from split the remainder, family stared Victoria’s Secret. The but by late Septemnight before, Scott ber, all the money was wide-eyed at the had the kids steal lispent. money, close to cence plates from a car at another comCO TT AND $70,000 – a plex and put them Hayden destunning haul over the Jetta’s plates. cided to rob The robbery went the First Commuoff as planned. Outnity Credit Union. side, Abby gave them time updates Because there was a construction crew over the walkie-talkie. At the three- working nearby, Scott sent Hayden minute mark, Scott and Hayden or- and Abby to Home Depot to buy dered the manager to unlock the back two orange safety vests for disguises. door, and they jumped into the Jetta. Hayden also went to a costume shop Abby drove to another neighbour- to buy a fake moustache. hood, and Hayden and Scott threw On October 1, Abby took the day their disguises, pistols, stolen plates, off from work and drove Hayden and and gloves into a dumpster. In their Scott to the credit union. The men apartment, they stared wide-eyed at entered at about 1.50pm. Their size the money, close to $70,000 – a stun- and guns terrified everyone, and they ning haul from a little branch bank. were in and out so fast that no-one got They heard sirens and decided to go a good look at them. As Abby drove
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them home, police cars came scream- from where they’d been folded. He ing from the opposite direction. Not found that Home Depot sold that style one officer gave her a second look. All of vest and got a subpoena to review they heard over the radio was that two purchases at area Home Depots. Just tall men had committed a robbery. before the robbery, two vests had been The Catts got $29,953, a decent sum. purchased in Katy with a debit card be A few days later, Abby told her father longing to Scott Catt. Security footage she couldn’t handle the stress. She showed a young man and a blonde wanted to take her cut and move into teenage girl buying them. After doing a her own place. Scott promised her an check on Scott, Martin learned he had apartment but begged two children, Hayden her to remain their and Abby, whose wheelman. He had photos matched the “My dad should decided to quit his job customers. and make a living as a Martin deduced have protected full-time bank robber, that Scott and Hayden me instead of and Hayden would were the robbers, and the other way join him. Abby w as th e o ne “The greed had whom tellers heard around,” said snowballed,” recounting time over Abby Catt called Hayden. “I had a walkie-talkie. His become consumed case was bolstered by with money: spend video of Abby applying it, getting more. It was all I thought ing for an account at the credit union about, like an addiction.” a few days before. (Scott had sent her On November 8, Abby drove them to scope the layout.) He had the Catts to another bank, but there was too arrested and placed in separate intermuch foot traffic, so they called it rogation rooms. off. The next morning, as Scott and Martin decided to first talk to Scott. Hayden prepared to try again, the He assumed that he would declare his police came knocking. innocence, claiming a case of mistaken identity. But Scott confessed all, HILE STUDYING VIDEO even talking about his Oregon robberof the credit union rob- ies, which Martin knew nothing about. bery, veteran detective Jeff The detective was dumbfounded, and Martin had noticed that the safety vests he was equally dumbfounded when worn by the robbers weren’t tattered or Hayden and Abby confessed. A lt h ou g h t h e g e t away d r i v er dirty at all. He could even see creases
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TEXAS MONTH LY (JUNE 2014), © 2014 BY TEXAS MONTHLY, TEXASMONTHLY.COM.
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in a bank robbery is liable under Texas law for the same punishment as the bank robbers, the police and prosecutors felt sympathy for Abby and gave her a mild five-year sentence. (She’ll be eligible for parole in seven months.) Hayden received a ten-year sentence (his parole will come up in about four years), but Scott was hit with a 24-year sentence.
me, instead of the other way around, having me protect him,” Abby said. A few minutes later, she mentioned that she had run into her father a day or so earlier in the infirmary. “He told me he loved me, to be strong, and to be patient. And then he said he was so sorry. I broke down and started crying. I mean, like I’ve said, he is my dad.” Abby plans to become a nurse when she’s released. Hayden wants to get a degree in advertising, architecture, or engineering – “that’s right, engineering, like my dad,” he said, smiling. Scott told me his one hope is that his kids will visit him after they’re free. He’ll be 62 when he’s eligible for parole. “If I get out, I want to have a homecoming dinner that night, me and the kids,” he said. “We’ll go to a good restaurant, tell stories about the old days.” He paused. “About the days when we were a family.”
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to Scott, he’d lost 31kg since his arrest, which he attributed mostly to “a lot of remorse” for what he’d done to his children. “When I look back on what I did, what led to this place, I would have been better off – we all would have been better off – if I had gone on welfare and been a stay-at-home dad.” Abby and Hayden didn’t seem to know what to think of their father. “He should have been protecting HEN I TALKED
Puzzles
See page 122 Blockbuster
Pick a Card, Any Card
Number Cruncher There are multiple solutions. One straightforward solution is (25 x (9 + 7 + 5)) + 3 - 1 = 527
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Smart Animals
Some animals are better at sensing certain thin gs than humans; others are just plain observant
Kelly the Hero LORNA BOYD
The daily boundary walk to check the fence of our property had Kelly, our five-year-old kelpie-heeler cross, and I on a narrow track, with our neighbour’s fence on one side, and one very steep 10m drop to the creek on the other side. 114
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Kelly always walks in front, but that day she suddenly stopped and whined with a worried look. As I started to ask her, “W hat’s wrong?” a massive tree branch snapped. It crashed and plummeted heavily to the ground onto the track just in front of us. Then, further along another
S R E D N A S N E B : N O I T A R T S U L L I
boundary walk she again stopped used at our holiday house, and suddenly, this time staring slightly dropped it on the lawn next to her. ahead into the dry grass. After While Sue readily admits that inspecting what the hold-up was, Elke was highly intelligent, she was I could see a not-sostill in a state of friendly brown snake. disbelief as she related My dog is truly my the story of the If it wasn’t for lifesaver and best flowerpots to me. friend. Bonnie, I’d hate Wired For Smell to think what Potted Wisdom BARBARA HOFF could have While visiting my GRAEME PERRYMAN My daughter Jenny daughter Dianna, happened to owned a beautiful I noticed Bonnie, them both. She’s her two-year-old German shepherd called Elke. As my wife Doberman, pacing one smart Sue and I have a around the lounge room Doberman holiday house on two back and forth in front hectares of land, we of a power point. Then, often took Elke along for short all of a sudden, she started to bark breaks so she could exercise in the incessantly at it. extra space and enjoy the change of “You had better check that power environment. She also liked to be point,” I said to my daughter. with us and particularly liked to walk “Something is not right.” Dianna switched off all the power and undid us around the firebreaks each day. A couple of years ago, Sue was the power point and found that the weeding the back lawn at the holiday wiring was smouldering. house and placing the weeds in an We immediately called an old plastic flowerpot. As is usually electrician to not only fix the power the case, the dog was following her point, but also to check the wiring around the lawn and watching her in the rest of the house. If it wasn’t carry out her weeding. for Bonnie, I’d hate to think what A couple of weeks later, Elke was could have happened to them both. back home in her city setting when She’s one smart Doberman. my wife noticed some weeds in the lawn. So she got out her weeding You could earn cash by telling us about fork and commenced work. The dog the antics of unique pets or wildlife. Turn disappeared and returned with an to page 6 for details on how to contribute old flowerpot similar to the one Sue to the magazine. February
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MOVIE DIGEST
JUPITER ASCENDING
Sci-Fi
Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis, pictured above) was born under a night sky, with signs predicting that she was destined for great things. Now grown and living in a universe where human beings are placed at the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the reality of a job cleaning toilets and a life of endless bad luck. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum, above), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along. From the creator of The Matrix trilogy, Jupiter Ascending promises to be one of the biggest sci-fi movies of the year. BIG EYES
Biographical Drama
Forgotten artist: Imagine your life’s work received international praise, but no-one knew you were behind it. That’s what happened to Margaret Keane Amy Adams as (Amy Adams), whose artwork became phenomenally successful in Margaret Keane the 1950s. In a time when women artists were rarely celebrated, Keane’s husband Walter (Christoph Waltz) added his signature to the bottom, then received international fame for the works. The film tells the story of their divorce during which Margaret accused Walter of stealing her paintings. Directed by Tim Burton, the film is both visually and mentally stimulating.
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THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL
Comedy Drama
It’s time to join in more adventures at the infamous Indian retirement resort. A sequel to the acclaimed The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012), the film follows ambitious hotel ownermanager Sonny Kapoor’s (Dev Patel) expansionist dream to open The Second Best Marigold Hotel for the “Elderly and Beautiful”. Joining the existing residents Muriel (Maggie Smith), Evelyn (Judi Dench) and Douglas (Bill Nighy) are newcomers Guy (Richard Gere) and Lavinia (Tamsin Greig). A wedding and more of the laughs that made you fall in love with the first instalment makes Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel a great feel-good film.
Evelyn (Dench) and Douglas (Nighy) dance the night away
Did you know? In the The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel , Evelyn (Judi Dench) claims Muriel (Maggie Smith) is only 19 days older than her. In real life, Maggie Smith (28/12/34) is in fact exactly 19 days younger than Judi Dench (9/12/34).
WHAT WE DID ON OUR HOLIDAY
Comedy The McLeod family are on an epic road trip to the Scottish Highlands for sick grandfather Gordy’s (Billy Connolly) 75th birthday. Recently separated, Doug McLeod (David Tennant) and Abi (Rosamund Pike) decide to keep up a charade of married bliss to avoid upsetting Gordy. Naturally, with three demanding and outspoken young children in tow, plans go awry. From the writers of the hit BBC-TV comedy Outnumbered , this has the same sharp British wit, crafted through partially improvised dialogue, inspired casting and an off-beat plot.
Q:
What is the name of the Austrian family featured in the musical Te Sound of Music?
MOVIES
LAND OF THE BEARS DVD Filmed over 12 months in the rugged and remote terrain of Russia’s Kamchatka Peninsula – famed home to brown bears – this 3D film follows the stories of a number of bears, each at a unique stage in their lives. Using technology supplied by coproducer James Cameron ( Titanic,
Avatar ), it is one of the first nature documentaries shot using 3D cameras. Entertainingly educational, it follows the cycle of the bears’ year as they struggle to survive and thrive.
Expensive Movie Treads
Film costumes can be as memorable as the actors who wear them. We found some iconic outfits that have proven to be almost as lucrative as the films they appeared in:
A: Te von rapp family.
Cleopatra (1963): Cleopatra Wig Made from real human hair, the wig worn by Elizabeth Taylor is valued at US$16,000. My Fair Lady (1964): Ascot Dress and Hat Designed by Cecil Beaton, the outfit worn by Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady was originally bought for a cool US$100,000. This ensemble has really retained bang for its buck – it was sold in 2011 for a cool US$3.7 million. The Wizard of Oz (1939): Dorothy’s Dress and Ruby Slippers Judy Garland’s blue-and-white dress sold at US$480,000 in 2012. But the ruby-red slippers are real gems: of the five known surviving pairs, one sold at US$660,000 in 2000, another at US$510,000 in 2011 and a third is valued at US$2 million. The Seven Year Itch (1955): White Subway Dress The white dress from the subway scene in The Seven Year Itch is currently worth US$5.6 million and sets the record for the highest priced Marilyn outfit. The earlier record for a Monroe dress was US$1.26 million in 1999 for the dress she wore in May 1962, when she sang “Happy Birthday” to President John F. Kennedy. 118
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S E G A M I Y T T E G ) S E O H S ( : O T O H P
BOOK DIGEST
More than six decades and more than ten million vehicles after the first model rolled off a production line, Susan Redman celebrates MY DREAM KOMBI (HarperCollins): (HarperCollins): “… Whether hippie love bus, surfer’s dream machine or family wagon for happy campers, the iconic Kombi is a vehicle that has always enjoyed universal appeal. From Britain to Brazil, Australia to America, Turkey to Thailand, this classic German auto embodies a freewheeling spirit and retro romanticism. If the Volkswagen Beetle was the car for the people, the Volkswagen Kombi was the van for the people. Kombi’s not short for Kombinationskraftwagen (German for ‘combined-use vehicle’) for nothing!”
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BOOKS
Cricket legend Sachin Tendulkar, the batsman with the most runs in i n test cricket (and in one-dayers) than any other player p layer,, says in i n PLAYING IT MY WAY (Hodder and Stoughton): “… People have often commented on my grip, which is very low down on the handle. It all goes back to when I started playing cricket when I was 11 with my brother Ajit, who is ten years older. older. As I didn’t did n’t have a bat of my own, I had to use Ajit’s full-size bat and the
only way I could cope with the weight at that age was to hold [it] right at the bottom of the handle. Some coaches suggested changing my grip, and I did experiment, but it never felt right. I had got used to feeling the end of the handle pressing against the inside of my forearm forearm and if I gripped the bat further up I didn’t have that, and batting just didn’t feel natural.”
In EXTREME FOOD (Bantam Press), survivalist and TV personality Bear Grylls describes what you can eat when your life absolutely depends depends on it: “… Termites Termites have have a bad name in built-up areas because of their tendency to consume and destroy wooden structures. structures. But for the survivor, termites are awesome. ... Pound for pound they’re more nutritious than vegetables and have a higher protein and fat content than beef or fish. ... Because termites have such a high fat content, you can put them in a dry pan and fry them in their own fat. If you have have winged termites, you’ll want to remove the wings before adding them to the pan, then fry them gently over your fire until unt il they’re brown and and crispy.” crispy.”
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Y T I R A L C D N A E C A P S R O F D E T I D E E B Y A M S T C A R T X E : K C O T S K N I H T ; S E G A M I Y T T E G : S O T O H P
Media scientist Dr Karl Kruszelnicki in HOUSE OF KARLS (Pan Macmillan): “… Cursing is universal. Profanities exist in every single language ever studied. Every language, dialect or patois had ‘forbidden’ or bad words. ... Swear words do have power. power. Merely hearing profanities will change the electrical conductance of your skin. Your pulse will quicken, the hairs on your arms will rise and your breathing will become shallow shall ow.. But languages evolve. So the power of swear words can change over time. Nobody today would be bothered by the word ‘goll ‘golly’. y’. However, However, originally, that word was a very obscene and profane contraction of the phrase ‘God’s body’. Sometimes it goes the other way. Neutral words can become uncomfortable to use. For example, example, the word ‘coffin’ ‘coffin’ originally meant ‘a box’. But once it became linked to the concept of death, people stopped saying ‘let’s see if there’s anything to eat in the bread coffin’. I think that’s a gosh darn shame.”
Music industry maverick Amanda Palmer in THE ART OF ASKING (Piatkus) writes about her early career as a living statue street performer: “… What I hadn’t anticipated was the sudden, powerful encounters with people – especially lonely people who looked like they hadn’t connected connected with anyone in ages. I was amazed by the intimate moments of prolonged eye contact happening on the busy city sidewalk as traffic whizzed by, as sirens blared, as street vendors hawked their wares and activists thrust flyers at every passerby, as bedraggled transients tried to sell the local homeless community newspaper to rushing commuters… where more than a second or two of a direct silent gaze between strangers is usually verboten. verboten. My eyes would say:
Tank you. I see you. And their eyes would say:”
Nobody ever sees me. Tank you.”
BRAIN POWER TEST YOUR MENTAL PROWESS
Puzzles Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers, then check your answers on page 113
Pick a Card, Any Card
J
Q Q
Can you place the remaining 12 court cards (Jacks, Queens, Kings and Aces) so that every row, column or main diagonal contains exactly one card of every denomination and suit? We have popped in the first four court cards to help you.
1
K
7 3
5 9
25
Number Cruncher Blockbuster Each block is equal to the sum of the two numbers beneath it. Find all the missing numbers.
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60
20
10 2
Make a calculation that equals 527 using some or all of the numbers in the circle and any of the four standard mathematical operations: +,-,x and ÷.
...................... = 527
V
PUZZLES 1
T R 3
E
D
V S
R
U
O
N
A
8
R
9
E
LANNNNGUAGE
6
D A
E I
5
B E
O A
4
7
Identify the common words or phrases above.
G
2
L
Hidden Meaning
A
O
A
10
G
L
E
Y
Dicing with Words The dice blocks each have a six-letter word written on them, but, unfortunately, you can only see three sides. When you have solved the clues, the first column will reveal a word or phrase. CLUES 1. Go hungry 2. Magazine boss 3. Disregard 4. Valuable metal 5. Grow up
6. Source 7. Inclined 8. Trying experience 9. Friendly 10. Annually
B
LOOK
1 2 3 4
BAND SHIP
5 6 7 8
A
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BRAIN POWER
TEST YOUR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
Trivia 1. What’s
the only vowel not on the top row of a standard keyboard? 1 point
10. What
2. Known
nationality was the inventor of Lego? 1 point
to locals as Chomolungma or Sagarmatha, what is the English name of this landmark? 1 point 3. This
year marks 40 years since the first Cricket World Cup. Which team has played in every cup and reached the final three times but never won?
1 point
11. This
month
marks: 30 years since the first broadcast of what British soap? �
50 years since the assassination of which black Muslim leader? �
4. What
country is the farthest north that penguins live? 1 point 5. What
four things did Dorothy and her friends want from the Wizard of Oz? 2 points 6. Name
the three alliterative island nations in the Indian Ocean. 3 points
7. What
colours are the two circles that make up the logo of Mastercard? 2 points 8. Frontal,
occipital, parietal and temporal are all parts of what organ? 1 point 9. What
country’s silhouette is this? 1 point
16-20 Gold
medal
11-15 Silver
medal
85 years since the discovery of what space object by Clyde Tombaugh? �
3 points 12. Frames, spares and turkeys are all
terms used in which competitive recreation? 1 point 13. Bristlecone
pines growing in the US have been dated at 5064 years old. Were they alive when Tutankhamun was born? 1 point 14. What’s the third largest species of
cat in the world, after tiger and lion? 1 point 6-10 Bronze
medal
0- 5 Wooden
spoon
r e d n e t s a E r . a u g a J . 4 1 . ) C B 1 4 3 1 n r o b ( s e Y . 3 1 . g n i l w o b n i p - n e T . 2 1 . o t u l P ; X m l o c l a M ; s . 1 1 . h s i n a D . 0 1 . o c i x e M . 9 . n i a r B . 8 . w o l l e y d n a d e R . 7 r . a c s a g a d a M , s e v i d l a M , s u i t i r u a M . 6 . e m o h o g o t d n a e g a r u o c , t r a e h a R E W S N A , n i a r b A . 5 . ) r o t a u q e e h t n o , s d n a l s I s o g a p a l a G e h T ( r o d a u c E . 4 . d n a l g n E . 3 . t s e r e v E t n u o M . 2 . A . 1 : S
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M U L L A C C A M L I A G Y B D E L I P M O C
BRAIN POWER IT PAYS TO INCR EAS E YOUR
Word Power A-List The letter A is so much more than the
alphabet’s leader: music note, blood type, Nathaniel Hawthorne favourite, mark of excellence, and even stardom vehicle for Mr. T. In its honour, a quiz devoted to words whose only vowel is A. Answers on the next page.
1. banal adj. –
R E D L A C L L I J Y B S N O I T A R T S U L L I ; N O V H T A R Y R N E H & X O C Y L I M E Y B
A: disallowed. B: uptight. C: trite. 2. annals n. – A: catacombs. B: chronicles. C: long johns. 3. arcana n. – A: mysterious or specialised knowledge. B: travel journal. C: rainbow. 4. masala n. – A: Chilean wine. B: Indian spice blend. C: Italian antipasto. 5. lama n. – A: an alpaca or vicuña. B: heroic escape. C: priest or monk. 6. bazaar n. – A: weird event. B: marketplace. C: wailing siren. 7. paschal adj. – A: of computer languages. B: in a Gothic style. C: relating to Easter. 8. amalgam n. – A: mixture. B: volcanic rock. C: back of the throat. 9. plantar adj . – A: vegetative. B: paved with asphalt. C: of the sole of the foot. 10. catamaran n. – A: Bengal tiger.
B: black olive. C: boat with two hulls. 11. balaclava n. – A: knit cap. B: Greek pastry. C: Russian mandolin. 12. avatar n. – A: mythological sibling. B: incarnation of a god. C: computer language. 13. spartan adj . – A: desertlike. B: marked by simplicity and lack of luxury. C: of classical theatre. 14. allay v. – A: refuse. B: take sides. C: calm. 15. lambda n. – A: Greek letter. B: Brazilian dance. C: college degree. THEY MADE THAT A WORD?! Speaking of all things “A”, MerriamWebster recently added to its Collegiate Dictionary the term aha moment – “an instance of sudden realisation” – made popular by Oprah Winfrey. Other modern lingo added to the latest iteration: man cave (“a room designed according to a man’s tastes”) and earworm (“a song that keeps repeating in one’s mind” – especially annoying ones like “Gangnam Style”).
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WORD POWER
Answers 1. banal – [C] trite. “Whenever
the teacher says something too banal, Dorothy can’t help but roll her eyes.” 2. annals – [B] chronicles. “In
the annals of sports idiocy, that was the most bungling sequence of passes I’ve ever seen!” 3. arcana – [A] mysterious or
specialised knowledge. “I’d rather not know all the deep arcana of your arachnid research.” 4. masala – [B] Indian spice blend.
“Easy on the masala – Sarah doesn’t have the stomach for spicy dishes.” 5. lama – [C] priest or monk. “Yes,
even the Dalai Lama has a website, Facebook page, Twitter feed, and YouTube channel.” 6. bazaar –
[B] marketplace. “During her hunt at the bazaar, Sally found a turn-of-the-century compass that used to belong to her greatgrandfather.” 7. paschal – [C] relating to Easter.
“Terri spent hours on her paschal bonnet – it started as a flowerpot!” 8. amalgam – [A] mixture. “Our team
is a strong amalgam of raw youth and seasoned leadership.” 9. plantar – [C] of the sole of the foot.
“I treasure the plantar prints from when Billy was a baby.” 10. catamaran – [C] boat with two
hulls. “Jack thinks he’s Admiral 126
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Nelson now that he has won the marina’s annual catamaran race.” 11. balaclava – [A] knit cap. “Hang
your balaclava in the foyer and grab some stew.” 12. avatar – [B] incarnation of a god.
“In Hindu mythology, Rama is the seventh avatar of the god Vishnu.” (And yes, James Cameron, an avatar is also a being representing and controlled by a human.) 13. spartan – [B] marked by
simplicity and lack of luxury. “We didn’t expect such spartan conditions in the honeymoon suite.” 14. allay – [C] calm. “Yesterday’s
board meeting did more than allay our fears – it gave us a sense of hope!” 15. lambda – [A] Greek letter. “Invert
a V, and you’ve got a Greek lambda – or Bob’s moustache.” VOCABULARY RATINGS
5 & below: An ambitious attempt 6–10: Amazing achievement 11–12: A Plus! 13-15: Word Power wizard
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