Steps In Overcoming Masturbation* Anonymous author but attributed to Mark E. Petersen Council of the 12 Apostles (of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) NOTE: This article is quoted as a reference in a much longer and more detailed d iscussion Masturbation and the Bible. Please see the full article for much more information on this subject. Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male a nd female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so. This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide th at you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you wi ll be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. After you have made this dec ision, then observe the following specific guidelines. A Guide to Self-Control Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet proc esses. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same we akness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You mu st get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep you r problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome th ings. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath m ore than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital part s, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have su fficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed an d go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of t he night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weig ht. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something el se. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must b e changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you acco mplish that, you soon will be free of the act. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Churc h books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethren. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in th
e New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their upl ifting qualities. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend t o keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friend s, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it eve r -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. keep it out of your m ind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to o vercome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the cond itions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the powe r to control it. We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean so that th e Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one o f the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not physically harmfu l unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of the procreative power g iven to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person from Go d and defeats the gospel plan. This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect and feel g uilty and depressed, which can in the extreme lead to further sinning. As a pers on feels spiritually unclean, he loses his interest in prayer, his testimony bec omes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become burdensome, offe ring no joy and limited success. To help in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a brief explana tion is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man function. The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions of reprod uctive cells call spermatozoa. These are moved up a tube called the vas deferens to a place called the ampulla where they are mixed with fluids from two membran ous pouches called seminal vesicles and the prostate gland. The resultant fluid is called semen. When the seminal vesicles are full a signal is sent to the cent ral nervous system indicating they are ready to be emptied. The rate at which th e filling takes place varies greatly from one person to another, depending on su ch things as diet, exercise, state of health, etc. For some it may be several ti mes a week, for others twice a month and for others, hardly ever. It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night during sleep. This is called a wet dream. The impulses that cause the emptying come from the c entral nervous system. Often an erotic dream is experienced at the same time, an d is a part of this normal process. If a young man has consistently masturbated instead of letting nature take its course, the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace, trying to keep up with the loss of semen. When he stops th e habit, the body will continue to produce at this increased rate, for an indefi nite period of time, creating sexual tensions and pressure. These are not harmfu l and are to be endured until the normal central nervous system pathway of relea se is once again established. During this period of control several things can be done to make the process eas ier and more effective. As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation c an be implemented using some of the suggestions which follow. Remember it is ess
ential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated. Suggestions Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out lout when the temptations are the str ongest. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and fina lly commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to _never again_ y ou will always be open to temptation. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed se lf-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to impro ving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjo y working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bo red, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods thr ough various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing someth ing athletic, etc. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but s how it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual remind er of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another b lack day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the p attern through counter activities. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called ave rsion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with som ething which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate so mething very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bath e in a tub of worms, and eating several of them as you do the act. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or showe r curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool bri
ef showers. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what t ime of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic a ctivity. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids befor e retiring. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as p ossible at night. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create se xual excitement. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing whic h would be difficult to remove while half asleep. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big rewa rd. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it o n something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progres s. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan never gives up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength y ou will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment. * Editorial Comments by Lambert Dolphin 1. I am in agreement with the Mormon position that masturbation is not a neutral moral issue nor in line with God's purposes for our lives. Sexual expression re ceives God's approval only within marriage. That rules out as unacceptable Chris tian behavior: masturbation, adultery, premarital sex between unmarried heterose xuals, homosexual conduct, and bestiality. Polygamy is also not God's intention for mankind. In the Bible marriage is seen as for this life only and not for ete rnity (Matthew 22:30). The above article was obviously written primarily for men. 2. This paper strikes me as highly legalistic, at times its guidelines are amusi ng. Self Effort doesn't work in the Christian life! See Romans Chapter 7-8, espe cially the last few verses of Chapter 7: "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do t he very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is go od. So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what i s right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want t o do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inmo
st self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. Wretched man tha t I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Je sus Christ our Lord! So then, I of myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." The purpose of the Law is not to produce good moral behavior in us, but to kill us. The Law's demands (intensified in fact by the Sermon on the Mount), are desi gned to drive us to utter despair and to a sense of hopelessness so that we will call out to God from the depths of our hearts for God's mercy and grace The ver ses in Romans 7 preceding the above quotation read, "...Likewise, my brethren, you have died to the law through the body of Chri st, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead in order that we may bear fruit for God. While we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit f or death. But now we are discharged from the law, dead to that which held us cap tive, so that we serve not under the old written code but in the new life of the Spirit. What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet, if it ha d not been for the law, I should not have known sin. I should not have known wha t it is to covet if the law had not said, "You shall not covet." But sin, findin g opportunity in the commandment, wrought in me all kinds of covetousness. Apart from the law sin lies dead. I was once alive apart from the law, but when the c ommandment came, sin revived and I died; the very commandment which promised lif e proved to be death to me. For sin, finding opportunity in the commandment, dec eived me and by it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy an d just and good. Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! I t was sin, working death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin. " (5-14) 3. Mormon theology is not consistent with the historic, orthodox Christian faith . The Mormon view of Jesus Christ is very different from that found in the New T estament. Obviously I differ from the Mormon church in many of my beliefs.
"For I through the law died to the law, that I might live to God. I have bee n crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who lov ed me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God; for if justifi cation were through the law, then Christ died to no purpose. O foolish Galatians ! Who has bewitched you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed a s crucified? Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of th e law, or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun with the Spiri t, are you now ending with the flesh? Did you experience so many things in vain ?--if it really is in vain. Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works mir acles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith?" (Galatians 2:19-3:5)
In referring to physical circumcision in the following passage the Apostle is sp eaking of external rites and ceremonies such as circumcision, baptism, ceremonia l religious performance and attempts to keep the law by the efforts of the flesh : But far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. For neither ci rcumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation. Peace an d mercy be upon all who walk by this rule, upon the Israel of God. (Galatian 6:1 4-16)
In Colossians Paul reminds the believer that God brings about an inner circumcis ion of the heart when someone become a Christian. This is appropriated by the Ch ristian by faith,
As therefore you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so live in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. See to it that no one makes a prey of you by philosophy and em pty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fulness of deity dwells bodily, and you have come to fulness of life in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision mad e without hands, by putting off the body of flesh in the circumcision of Christ; and you were buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive to gether with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, having canceled the bond which stood against us with its legal demands; this he set aside, nailing it to the cross. (2:6-14) 4. One of the problems with a list of rules such as those listed in this article ---rules and practical formulas such as those listed above, accompanied by faith , do have their place in the Christian walk---is that the heart is deceitful and we sin because we want to sin. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can un derstand it? "I the LORD search the mind and try the heart, to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." (Jeremiah 17:9-10 ) We sin because it brings temporary pleasure. When we decide to go ahead and sin, we always find some form of rationalize or to minimize what we are doing. For e xample, "I know this is wrong, but I know God will forgive me afterwords." (See The Scars of Sin, by Ray C. Stedman for the dangers in this and other attitudes towards sin). The problem is inner cleansing of the well-springs of Adam, "Hear me, all of you, and understand: there is nothing outside a man which b y going into him can defile him; but the things which come out of a man are what defile him." And when he had entered the house, and left the people, his discip les asked him about the parable. And he said to them, "Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a man from outside cannot defile him, since it enters, not his heart but his stomach, and so passes on?" (Thus he declared all foods clean.) And he said, "What comes out of a man is wha t defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, f ornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousnes s, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, an d they defile a man." (Luke 7:14-23)
Denying the flesh, delivering it over to death daily and walking in the Spirit i s how the Christian life is to be lived. This is easier said that done. Paul's g uidelines in Colossians are clear: If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, wh ere Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that ar e above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hi d with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will ap pear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornicati on, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On acco
unt of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you once walked, when you live d in them. But now put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and foul ta lk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old nature with its practices and have put on the new nature, which is being ren ewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there cannot be Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free man, but C hrist is all, and in all. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, c ompassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another a nd, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord ha s forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful . Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in y our hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the na me of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (3:1-17) God's goal for the Christian life is wholeness (holiness). See articles listed b elow or go to the Ray C. Stedman Memorial Library and Search the topics of Whole ness, Biblical Rest, the Flesh vs. the Spirit, Legalism, etc. True Human Potential by Ray C. Stedman Sexuality and Wholeness by Ray C. Stedman Edom as a Type of the Flesh A quote from A. W. Tozer, The cross is the symbol of death. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of t he human being. The man in Roman times who took up his cross and started down th e road had already said goodbye to his friends. He was not coming back. He was n ot going out to have his life redirected. He was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise, modified nothing, spared nothing. It slew all of the man completely and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with its victi m. it struck swift and hard and when it had finished its work the man was no mor e. That evangelism which draws friendly parallels between the ways of God and th e ways of man is false to the Bible and cruel to the soul of the hearers. The fa ith of Christ does not parallel the world. It intersects it. In coming to Christ we do not bring our life up on to a higher plane. We leave it at a cross. The g rain of wheat must fall into the ground and die. That is the beginning of the go spel. Additional LDS Reference Chastity April 17, 1996
[email protected] Revised December 2, 2002. February 19, 2009.
