10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed and giving your woman more pleasure Practical sexual anatomy for men who love women by Dr Cornelius Agrippa
Burning Heart London MMXII
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Disclaimer Nothing in this publication should be taken to replace the advice of a qualified medical practitioner. If you think you have a medical problem contributing to sexual difficulties then you are advised to consult your doctor.
The Author Dr Cornelius Agrippa is not the author’s real name, as you probably guessed. He is, however, a real medical doctor, with experience of giving advice on sexual problems to many people over a long period of time. Dr Agrippa admits that, despite his knowledge of medical theory, he has not always been a great lover. Dr Agrippa’s method for overcoming premature ejaculation is the result of his own research to end unsatisfactory performance and become the kind of lover he wanted to be. Dr Agrippa firmly believes that what worked for him will also work for you if you apply the simple method he has discovered and developed. This method is fully explained in his book Last as long as you want in bed – Five steps to overcoming premature ejaculation and regaining control (UK link) from which some of the material in this publication is taken. (Link for US readers)
Contents Practical sexual anatomy for lovers!
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Hot tip no.1: Anticipation Hot tip no.2: A woman’s best erogenous zone is...
What works and what is where!
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Hot tip no.3: Don’t rush Hot tip no.4: How to tell when she’s ready Hot tip no. 5: You’ve got a tongue
The clitoris is bigger than we think!
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Hot tip no.6: Don’t go in too deep
Does the ‘G-spot’ exist?!
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Hot tip no. 7: Doggy style for advanced lovers
Positions that stimulate the clitoris!
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Hot tip no.8: A really excellent way of stimulating her without coming too soon Hot tip no.9: How not to come too soon in missionary position Hot tip no.10: How to find out what really works for her
On not coming too quickly! The ultimate key to lasting longer during sex! Keep in touch!!
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Practical sexual anatomy for lovers This booklet will teach you key secrets about female sexual anatomy that will help you keep going until she comes. As explained in my book, Last as long as you want in bed, your aim as a lover should be always to make her come before you do. If you know how to stimulate her without overstimulating yourself then you’re on your way to achieving that goal and having a satisfied woman on your hands. That’s what I’m going to tell you how to do. Then, even if you aren’t that tall handsome guy with too much muscle, you are definitely the man your woman will want. Hot tip no.1: Anticipation Don’t go straight for penetration. Not straight away. Slow down. You might even start by undressing her. Slowly. Don’t go straight for penetration even then. She needs to be ready. Kisses and caresses come first, and plenty of them. Women take time to come to the boil.
Be sensitive to what she wants and give her plenty of it. Ask her if she would like a massage, and take your time over it. You might think this a bit boring since you’re already up and ready, but it will definitely pay off. Take the time to appreciate her body and make sure she knows you are appreciating it. Hot tip no.2: A woman’s best erogenous zone is... ...her whole body. Breathe on her neck. Breathe all over her body. Explore her with kisses, leaving out the genital area at first. I’ll tell you later a simple way of telling when she’s ready. Now read on for essential anatomical knowledge that will enable you to pleasure your woman the way she wants.
What works and what is where I shan’t confuse you with a lot of detail that you don’t need to know and that your woman neither knows nor cares about either. But if you know where her specially sensitive areas are you can really turn your woman on well before you get to your own high-risk moment.
Here we’ll talk about the essentials of female genital anatomy and her sensitive areas. This will help you to understand how you can stimulate her without becoming overstimulated yourself. Remember though that all women are different, and that what works for one may not be best for another. Later on there’s a hot tip for finding out what really works for your woman. Even so, there are some things that pretty well always work.
Figure 1 1 is self-explanatory. The woman is lying on
her back facing up. I have left the clitoris, labia (‘pussy lips’) and vagina unshaded so that they are clear in the drawing. Because this is a cross-sectional view it is not possible to show the extension of the clitoris on either side of the vagina, which I show in figure 3 later on.
The urethra is the exit from the bladder.
‘Vulva’ refers to the whole of the female external genitalia. The ‘big labia’ (or in common speech ‘big pussy lips,’ technical term: ‘labia majora’) are on either side and swell up when a woman is very sexually excited. The small labia (‘small pussy lips,’ ‘labia minora’) do not have erectile tissue in them and do not swell up during intercourse, but they do become moist. Hot tip no.3: Don’t rush When a woman is sexually excited the lubricating glands make the vagina moist. If you go for penetration too soon then she will be dry and perhaps a little tense too and she will probably not enjoy it. Your penis will be overstimulated and may make you come too quickly. Don’t go in too soon. Hot tip no.4: How to tell when she’s ready The clitoris is her most sensitive part and it is too sensitive to touch before she’s ready. Exploring the rest of her body with your hands, you should get clues from the way she reacts about which bits she doesn’t want you to touch yet. If when you touch down there the small labia are getting moist, this is your clue that things are going
well and it’s probably ok for you to start stimulating her down there with your fingers. Hot tip no. 5: You’ve got a tongue I’m sure I don’t need to spell this out. Even if she’s still dry your tongue isn’t. Common sense, isn’t it? You like it, she likes it. Oh, and talking is ok as well. If you’re not sure what she wants next, think of what she might want and ask her if she wants it.
The clitoris is bigger than we think The part we normally think of as the clitoris is a small pea-size nubbin of tissue that corresponds to the head of the penis in the male. It is mostly covered by skin folds connected to the small labia. However there is more to the clitoris than we can see. The clitoris also extends up onto the front of the pubic bone then downwards again into the upper part of the vagina and divides on either side of the the small labia and into the sides of the vagina. 2 It is now known that the clitoris has a big extension inside the vaginal walls, and that it is the clitoris, including its sensitive tissue hidden inside the vaginal walls, which is a woman’s most sensitive area during sex.
The idea put about by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud that there are two kinds of female orgasm – clitoral and vaginal – is now in doubt, because stimulating the vagina is essentially stimulating the clitoral tissue that is part of the vaginal wall. I have indicated this complex anatomy in simplified form in figure 3. All the heavily-shaded area is particularly sensitive. The important point to remember is that it is the part of the vulva and vagina nearest the surface that is the most sensitive. Deeper into the vagina there are relatively fewer nerve endings.
Hot tip no.6: Don’t go in too deep Whereas for you, deep thrusts are probably what is most stimulating, for her it is most likely what is happening nearer the surface that is most important. So when you do go in, don’t go in too deep at first. As always, take your time. There is no rush. Shallow thrusts will work for her and you will last longer.
When she is very sexually excited indeed, perhaps after she has come once or twice, the big labia will swell up – this is due to the erectile tissue in the bulbs of the vestibule (see figure 3). This doesn’t tend to happen early on, and it doesn’t always happen in an obvious way. If it doesn’t happen it doesn’t mean you haven’t satisfied your woman. But if it does happen then you’re doing very well indeed.
Does the ‘G-spot’ exist? The extended anatomy of the clitoris could also be the origin of the idea of the so-called ‘G-spot,’ an area supposed to exist about two to three inches inside the vagina in its anterior (front or upper) wall, which is said to be especially sensitive, and stimulation of which can cause a woman to orgasm. Some think that there is such a thing as a ‘female prostate’ at the base of the bladder which corresponds to the G-spot. For what it’s worth, figure 4 shows where the G-spot is said to be.
It is of no practical consequence whether or not there is a distinct anatomical structure corresponding to the G-spot. The practical matter is whether your woman is particularly sensitive there or not. Studies have shown that not all women are. If she is, then you can probably find ways of stimulating her there using your fingers. As always, you can only find out by trying and asking. If it works for your woman, do it, if it doesn’t turn her on, nothing lost.
Hot tip no. 7: Doggy style for advanced lovers If you want to stimulate her ‘G-spot’ area by penetration then it is easiest to do from the ‘doggystyle’ position (see figure 5). This will also powerfully stimulate you, so it may be best to leave it until the end until you are already a first-class lover and fully in control.
Positions that stimulate the clitoris You are no doubt well aware that your most sensitive area is the head of the penis, and the thing most likely to stimulate you to the point of coming is deep thrusting into her vagina. You also now know that her most sensitive area is the clitoris, and that the clitoris is not just the little peasize visible clitoris but also its extensions into the vaginal walls, particularly the front (anterior) wall of the vagina and the sides of the vagina nearest the outside. So, we can put these facts together to figure out various techniques that are likely to give her maximum pleasure while minimising the risk of getting too much stimulation ourselves too soon. This isn’t just theory – these techniques work. But I want you to understand the theory, because not every woman is made the same. Understanding the theory will give you the ability to vary the techniques and find out what works best for you and your woman. If you’ve had to come out because things are beginning to get out of control for you, then when the immediate danger has passed try this.
Hot tip no.8: A really excellent way of stimulating her without coming too soon With you on top, rub the underside of the shaft of your penis against her clitoral area (figure 6). You don’t have to worry about exact positioning because her vulva will more or less guide you into the correct area.
You can then thrust against her without being inside her. The stimulation you are getting is on the
relatively less sensitive shaft of the penis, but the stimulation she is getting is fairly maximal. Hot tip no.9: How not to come too soon in missionary position Position yourself so that the shaft of your penis is pressing against her clitoral area and the upper part of her vagina (figure 7).
You need to press forward, so that you feel pressure on the upper part of the shaft of your penis. Confine yourself to shallow thrusts and only occasional deep thrusts when you can trust yourself not to come. Once again, you are giving her maximal stimulation while the head of your penis is getting relatively little. Hot tip no.10: How to find out what really works for her Lie back, woman on top. Notice what she does: she’ll make moves that satisfy her. Store that in your memory. When you’re on top you can move in a way that puts pressure in the same areas that she was stimulating when she was in control – a sure-fire way of giving her what she wants.
On not coming too quickly Knowing these simple facts about female sexual anatomy will make it easier for you to please your woman. Pleasing your woman is what it’s all about. Even if you are still having trouble and are coming too soon after penetration, you can use some of the hot tips in this booklet to bring her to ecstasy even before penetration. If you can do that then you’ll have great sex.
Once she’s come it’s no big deal if you come pretty soon after. Once she comes you can go for it and come when you want to. Even so, with practice you can last a lot longer even after penetration. Using the physical techniques in this booklet is part of it. But I encourage you to check out the simple system in my book, Last as long as you want in bed – Five steps to overcoming premature ejaculation and regaining control (Amazon link for UK readers) so that you can go on as long as both of you wish. (Amazon link for readers in the US.)
The ultimate key to lasting longer during sex This book is about practical sexual anatomy for lovers, extracted from my bigger book. But before we go, I want to let you into the essential secret of lasting as long as you want during sex. Fundamentally the problem is that we don’t know what real sex is. And we don’t know what real sex is because we don’t know how to live in the moment, especially with another person.
We are ‘in our heads,’ in imagination most of the time. We are somewhere else. We don’t really inhabit our bodies. If we are trying to make love but are thinking, ‘what if I come too quickly? What if I don’t satisfy her? What if...?’ then we are not present to her and not present to our own body. The mind is elsewhere. There are two bodies there but at least one of us isn’t home. Add to that the anxiety created by these entirely unnecessary thoughts and we have a situation in which erectile failure and/or premature ejaculation is likely. Alternatively we get too excited, we start moving too quickly, we start getting too involved in our own pleasure and forget our partner, and once again we’ve lost it. We are too much in ourselves in our own heads. Sometimes the most profound truths are the simplest and most obvious. You can’t have real sex if you are not really there. A good way of being there and experiencing real sex is to pay attention to her needs, her wants. Stop worrying about yourself. As much as possible, stop thinking. Be there. Inhabit your own body. Bring yourself back into the present moment, to what’s happening now.
There isn’t any activity that cannot be done with more presence, more attention to the moment. We tend to live in regrets about the past and worries about the future, without allowing ourselves simply to be where we are. We don’t pay enough attention to what is right in front of us, and we live habitually somewhere else. This applies to sex just as much as it applies to everything else we do. The mind is like an unruly dog. The cure is to keep bringing the dog to heel, the mind back to the moment, your attention back to what your woman wants. Being present is the key to being truly alive. It is also the key to beautiful and satisfying sex.
Keep in touch! www.facebook.com/Burning.Heart.Press Cornelius Agrippa’s blog is at corneliusagrippa.wordpress.com. More books by Dr Cornelius Agrippa: Available now: Last as long as you want in bed – 5 steps to overcoming premature ejaculation and to regaining control Link for US readers Link for UK readers Forthcoming books: Solve erection problems now Dating – the missing manual – you can attract and keep the woman of your dreams
For information about other Narrow Gate Press publications go to www.ngp.co
Latin fans and pedants might complain that I have written labia rather than labium, which would have been the correct singular form. There are big and small ‘pussy lips’ – labia – on either side. You just have to imagine the ones I haven’t drawn.
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2 O'Connell HE, Sanjeevan KV, Hutson JM., Anatomy of the clitoris, J Urol. 2005 Oct;174(4 Pt 1):1189-95.
