These notes contain a lot of my personal interpretations. All girls in the sets were hot (8-10) unless stated otherwise. Intro Very important lesson: Todd is an average, maybe slightly below average looking guy. He’s short and not particularly stylish either. He also doesn’t have much obvious charisma, though definitely oozing confidence (not visible in his videos but in real life, yeah) and his behavior is effortless. In short, he’s not special in any way. Game is the defining factor, don’t think you need anything else besides a body and such basics. Set: Black hair, very hot, club, very responsive to (/aroused by) physicality 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. -
Strong intent+escalation Back off, leave space. Don’t always pressure Logistics + jokes, combine to keep lighthearted yet useful -> lead, isolate Objections -> deal with playfully, “no big deal” attitude Don’t assume a girl who’s touched easily is instantly ready for sex, though probably close Test for physicality -> strong response (important ‘trigger’ for her) There are no friends. So, escalate. (but also tease, hold back, let her invest) She doesn’t want to yet -> keep playing, enjoying time, keep her engaged (have PATIENCE) Line “Let’s go somewhere”, vague as f*ck but leading tonality and she’s on, so it works She gradually invests more and more (Todd leaves progressively more space!) Sex behind door of closed area (actually visible in video…) She doesn’t feel slutty for this, since nobody notices (except for all Toddseat visitors…) “It just happened”, was quick, she didn’t even go home with him. So that makes it ok… What is ‘ slutty’ or not for her can be very subtle
If there’s no convenient sex location available, keep cycling through different options. When convincing it’s ok (a.k.a. dealing with objections), be factual or do it a bit in a way so that it seems like she’s weird for not going along with it, instead of being frustrated and needy yourself. Time of the night isn’t overly important, Todd usually pulls before 2am (when clubs close at 4am). Set: Izzy, the 18 year old f*cking hot blonde. Street – café. NYC. 1. Todd talked to her on the street, took her to the café in 30 seconds. Most important reason: He asked her. Most guys forget to simply ask. Waiting and standing on the cold street for forever is ‘unnatural’. It’s also a very small commitment for her to make, it was very close to where he stopped her (about 20 meters). Also, more time to deal with objections. And his intentions are clear, so he can quickly screen and maybe move on. He doesn’t convince her by the way, it’s a way of ‘getting to know each other’ like good pickup should be. It’s not like you win the game by convincing her to come along, it should be beneficial for both of you to continue with the interaction and move forward. 2. While walking to the café he doesn’t say anything actually, no need to always fill the silence. Only after ordering he talks to her again. She most probably won’t leave anyway during the move towards the café. You also create room for her to invest (let her game you!) by talking, and
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she has time for emotionally strong thoughts like “wow what’s going on, who is this random cool guy” and such. Age: She asks for it. 3 ways of dealing with it: Let her guess for it (she usually shows her preference this way and sometimes it’s best to go with that because she might feel less slutty that way), joke around a bit, or just be honest. Todd did the latter because she wasn’t trying to test him or whatever. Often, guys are insecure and always feel like they’re being tested, then they respond like something’s a test, turning a random remark in a test. Instead, always assume something’s not a test (unless it’s all fun and games, part of the seduction) and respond like that. She feels too young, instead of feeling he’s too old. It’s often this way with insecurities. Todd also told a story about a girl who actually felt too tall for him, as in “he might not like me because I’m so tall” instead of thinking he was too short. His confidence creates such frames, in which his physical aspects are the benchmark. In the story, the girl actually took her heels off (in a club with a sticky floor with broken glass) before she would come along, because she felt secure enough now that she seemed shorter. She’s not reacting much, bad sign? No, not in this case; She’s attentive, and insecure about what to do or say. Todd’s just talking and doing his thing. She’s touching her hair etc. and is definitely nervous around him (in a good way). Just by being calm, leaving space but also just self-expressing, being observational about her (which actually puts pressure on her instead of the default guy’s “please like me” vibe). Interested girls often go quiet, quiet and attentive is good. Her at some point: “I’m going to Ireland etc.” which is good, because she finally tells him something interesting about herself. It’s a bit of an investment. More importantly, he has something to positively qualify her on, so he can make the pickup about her personality. She showed she’s adventurous, he now has something other than her looks to pick her up for. That’s important because such a hot girl is used to guys liking her for her looks but for her personality is special, unusual, she has insecurities about that. Todd: “It would never work between us.” Her: “Hmm it would.” That’s a rather obvious sign that she likes him. Also, Todd’s remark is a case of disqualifying her to ‘making her chase’ when it’s clear she likes him. It’s also the ‘Decision’ in FRED (see later on). Then qualify her by saying “You might be able to win me over”. He doesn’t say “What is that?” (about a tattoo) but “Explain to me what that is”. He asserts his dominance now that she’s really into him. (He might possibly even do that in an earlier phase, I don’t know). She asks for his(!) name. This is very good, girls usually won’t do things that feel awkward things like this for sex, it’s a strong barrier. They won’t go out of their way to make sex happen (it doesn’t fit in the frame of “it just happened” to her). Todd also tells a story of a girl with a bike, who had to lift her bike up some stairs or something during a pull and then just didn’t because it felt too awkward for her, and then she left because of that. Todd actually qualifies her for asking his name by saying “I’m flattered you take the burden of asking”. It shows her it’s good that she asked and invested. Question game: Take turns asking each other questions. Not revolutionary in itself, but it’s about the type of questions, which applies to a lot of man-to-woman escalating interaction. To at least a degree these should be scandalous, touching sexual subjects (not blatantly discussing sex, most of the time, but it should be edging the topic) and/or exciting. Examples are bungee jumping, drugs, tattoos, getting into trouble, etc. Todd asked about the worst trouble she got herself into. She didn’t know how to answer that in a way that’s not exciting/impressive but not slutty, so stays quiet (apart from “uh” and “hmm”) for 15-20 seconds. Todd therefore gives her a hint on what to answer (in other words, what he
wants to hear) so she can invest: “Don’t say you didn’t turn in your homework in time” (or something very similar). She then confesses on (something similar to) hooking up with a boy in the dressing room of a gym when she was 15. 15. Before leaving the café they stood up and he makes out with her next to the table. 16. He then takes her in a cab where he says “We can’t get sexual” on which she responds with a look that says “Why not?” which is obviously a good thing. Todd often combines self-deprecating remarks (that were obvious bullshit, making it interesting and funny) like “I’m really shy” with remarks that were boldly confident, like indirectly calling himself a “cute boy”. This is a very dynamic combination. It’s more important to be engaged than to show “good game”. At some point in this set Todd says something stupid instead of a canned line to keep his brain engaged. Don’t be impressed by a hot girl’s looks. Make it about her personality. Get to know her, (dis)qualify. She felt too young for Todd in this case. You can play around with such things. (Eventually it became clear to Todd she actually has a thing for older guys because of some implicit remark.) Very clear from the last 2 sets: Todd’s game is ‘technical’ but also very focused on observing the girl, and being very calibrated to how she responds. He’s not just doing his game, he’s very attentive to her signs. His questions (which are rare, usually statements) and remarks are often also about her. The focus is very much on the girl and she’s very involved (even if it’s not with words), but that means the pressure is also very much on her (which is a good thing). Set: Union Square rejection. 3 average looking girls. Todd wasn’t really into it but had some guys with him who had approach anxiety and while he noticed they weren’t hot when he walked over to them, he felt like turning around. But then decided he wouldn’t, because that would be a bad signal to the guys with the anxiety. The girls said they were busy talking, hadn’t seen each other in a while and didn’t want to be disturbed. This continued throughout, they kept repeating that even though Todd definitely kept trying from different angles and trying to change frames in his favor. He definitely didn’t let himself get blown out just like that. Lines he used: - “I’m not used to people being nice to me” as an ‘excuse’ to keep going. - “I’m still Todd” when the girls said “We’re busy”. - “Well now I’m said” followed by something about him needing to talk all this through with his therapist etc., some over-the-top stuff anyway. - “What were you talking about? Don’t worry, I promise I’ll leave after that” Don’t reject yourself, let her experience you. She doesn’t reject you for you if she doesn’t know you yet. It’s a waste to give up easily. A bad “no” has often still turned into a great (steamy) “yes”.
Opening -
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Be loud. It’s harder to ignore than when you’re not. But don’t be a dick. Same goes for physical openers, be clear in what you do. Don’t let yourself not be noticed. Have fun. Keep talking. Take the burden of the interaction for at least a few minutes if necessary. They didn’t plan to be approached, are caught off-guard and don’t know what to say. Preferably start from a distance already, even if it’s just with eye contact. Don’t sneak up on her under the radar and then suddenly approach her. Same when walking, don’t start the open when you’re only a meter away, start further away already. Let her/them get used to it in that way. Open with a vibe like you know each other already. (That doesn’t mean you should say bullshit lines like “Have we met before?”, it’s about a vibe of familiarity.)
3 sets: The girl in the orange dress on the sidewalk and Stacie in the mall on her break, girl in park. Walking girl: Try to stop her but be ready to walk with her if the situation requires her to keep walking somehow, it’s not ideal but more than fine. Not all interactions have to be good, or high quality, to be effective. Figure out how long you have to plan your following actions. Go in as direct as you can get away with. (Physical escalation is very direct.) Escalation during movement can be risky, messing things up, so it can be better to not do this. Lines: - “Just 2 seconds, I gotta go too.” (a.k.a. time constraint) - “I wanted to know if you’re as cool as you look.” (or a variation to this) - You’re far too cute to not be chatting on your phone instead of to a cute local boy.” - “You’re very cute, I wanted to know if you’re as cool as you’re cute. What’s your name?” - You can often follow up with a statement on something you observe/think about her. Not openers: - “And you go to school after” statement (guess), not question. - “I wish we could talk more now, but…” something with limited time -> ask number - If someone else says “This guy is awesome/famous” about you, say “Nonono, I’m just a guy” in a “don’t tell her” kind of way, implying you’re actually indeed awesome. - “It’s so hot, I think we should get a smoothie” and more of such statements are very useful to move to a date location for an instant date. - “Is that the worst of ideas?” it never is, so she can only say “no” making it an ok idea. - What are you doing at this exact second?” is better than just “What are you doing?”, you’ll get a better answer. Either it’s what she’s up to right now, which is useful to know, or she says something like “I’m talking to you” which is a good acknowledgement.
Set: Sophia and Mckenzie walking on the street, approached by Todd from behind, shocked. The girls were shocked/scared, screamed when he opened. Todd didn’t get nervous but did act similarly, like he was shocked by their extreme response. He put the awkwardness as their fault, saying: "Wow that’s a bit extreme!” When he gets tested with “You’re trying to get sex/pick her up” or something similar he responds with “I actually try to get to know someone first for at least a few minutes before getting sexual, I’m old-fashioned in that way.” Set: Girls return from club, got a pizza on their way home. He says he would do anything to get a slice of pizza right now and just talks away while walking with. When they’re near the door, the ‘bouncer’ of the girls’ hotel is there. Todd was just about to ask the girls’ names but shuts up because he doesn’t want the bouncer to know he just met them. He doesn’t say anything, acting like he belongs there, and walks inside with them. The cameraman gets blocked by the bouncer. Todd ends up in the girls’ apartment. Tonality on opening lessons: - Trying for rapport is like having a question mark after your sentences. This makes sense because it sounds like you’re constantly asking for approval. - Neutral rapport is like a simple dot and the end of a sentence. It’s neutral, boring. There’s nothing going on. You lose attention (F in FRED) very easily if this is your tonality. - Breaking rapport tonality is like an exclamation mark at the end, it’s like speaking as a high value person to a low value person. It’s like a king to speaking to a peasant, or a “Bitch you’re lucky to meet me” kind of tonality. The perfect tonality for opening is in between neutral and breaking rapport. Dominant with a smirk. What’s often noticeable is that emotions lead the language. So for example: Trying for rapport speaking often causes one to say words like “please” more often, and breaking rapport tonality will rather cause one to say words like “motherfucker” or “bitch” at the end of a sentence. Breaking rapport exercise: Try to speak very much in trying for, then neutral, then breaking rapport tonality to get a feel for it. Then try the right tonality in between neutral and breaking rapport. Loudness exercise: Try to speak from your upper belly (instead of from your throat). Also, relax your throat. As an exercise, try to speak like that from your nose. Obviously it sounds very nasal, but it’s also much louder. Once you get a feel for it that way, try doing it normally. Should be much louder now. Exercises to keeping conversations going (all in groups of 3 people): - “Yes, and…” exercise. You had to say 2 sentences and then the next person says “Yes, and…” saying two more sentences at least somewhat related. - “I love/hate…” exercise. You had to continue after the last person with an “I love/hate…” sentence, saying you love or hate something. This teaches you to assert your opinion.
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“That’s a lie” exercise. You have to say (with 100% certainty and without sounding emotional) that what the last person said is a lie and why that is, true or not.
A solo-exercise, the ‘last words of sentence is next sentence’ exercise: You have to say something, a random sentence, and then use the last few words of that sentence to start a new sentence quickly. All these exercises were done to keep talking on the open. It was important to react fast.
Hook FRED model for hooking: Focus, Relevance, Emotion, Decision. (See Todd Manifesto for more info.) 1. Focus: If the attention isn’t on you, you’re simply not gaming. 2. Relevance: Things that are either value or threat. Breaking rapport tonality is pretty much both, for example. Examples of such things: - Talk about attributes of the person, things you know or think about them. This can be both of value or a threat. (You can also start by insinuating you know or think something of her to build tension, like “You know what I like about you…”. - Teach someone something new, about something they care about. 3. Emotion: Make it emotional, add emotional spikes to the Relevance of it. Todd: “It basically makes the Relevance matter 3 times more”. And motion=emotion works here too, think of all kinds of physicality mainly. 4. Decision: Acknowledgement of her liking you, it becomes a tangible ‘fact’. It’s compliance. Examples of this compliance/decision: - “Come here” and she comes. - “You can leave” and she stays. - You sort of leave and she protests verbally/physically. What happens during the pull is that you basically cycle through FRED and intensify it throughout the interaction until the “Decision” phase is basically sex. Keep her Focus, repeat being Relevant while adding Emotion, and keep getting Decisions (a.k.a. compliance) in the form of signs of her liking you. The hook (or first hook) can be anywhere from 1 second to 10 minutes. A few minutes is normal. From a video of Todd being out in a park: If a particular, single set doesn’t really matter for how you feel, it usually goes way better because you feel free to have fun with it. Freedom from outcome is essential in this process, you can self-amuse. Observations of her cause the blueprint to come through. She shows her insecurities and what’s important to her. You can use that in the interaction.
Set: Girl sitting on fountain -
You can jokingly self-compliment, like “It’s actually kind of true… But I won’t be too obvious there.” Don’t escalate when getting a shit-test! (Unless the shit-test is about getting physical, then sometimes it can be good to just escalate and show you’re a man with a pair of balls.) Once she’s interested, do it, escalate to set the man-to-woman frame. (You don’t have to keep doing that throughout the whole seduction. As mentioned earlier, leave some space.)
Todd also explains something very important at this point: All this is not done to manipulate the girl into sleeping with you. It’s meant to give a great experience for her and you both. The pickup itself: 1. Todd tries twice with “You’re the X’est I’ve seen/You’re really X”, then changes the way he opens because she keeps resisting that version. He tries the man-to-woman handshake (his hand up, then her hand up so he can pull her in like a hand-of-god). However, she goes business handshake. 2. She keeps rejecting the man-to-woman frame, but she’s still there. She’s clearly testing him but she’s interested at the same time (which is why she’s testing him). 3. She doesn’t give her frame away easily though, she keeps testing him. 4. At some point she tries to show her value but thereby qualifies to Todd. 5. The best way to deal with these tests is staying in the man-to-woman frame yourself. Keep leading, don’t view it as a test (see earlier). NEVER qualify yourself. 6. Eventually she gives in, she’s too intrigued. He can handle her shit. 7. Light form of Decision: She goes with the frame, and she says “What do you do?” with which she shows interest in him and invests. Todd then sits down next to her. Todd: Try not to think or talk about pickup when infield, it screws up your game. Analyze afterwards and learn from that. Pickup should be like muscle memory, it should be natural. Value & Comfort model: Value: Push-pull, passing tests, etc. Basically anything that says “I have more women so this isn’t THAT important, I don’t NEED you, my life is already awesome (in general, not just with women).” It’s about being present, outcome independent, having abundance, and being self-amused. Comfort: Being genuine, open and honest. Show a certain degree of your weaknesses. Verbal escalation: From “you/me” to “we”. (For more, see Todd Manifesto.) Use all 4 modes of escalation (sometimes one more than another, depending on the situation). (To see all 4 modes of escalation, check out the Todd Manifesto.) Last model (new, not in Manifesto): Being in the present moment, being self-amused? You should be both of these things, if not then you’re not doing the right things. Things that build both value and comfort and the same time (since normally these contradict): - Telling stories (true or not, as long as it’s interesting) - Qualification (the fact that you care about her in this process = comfort) - Sex. “Wow, you’re so young” is an example of something that would put the pressure on her.
Set: Hollywood dancer girls, just returning from their job Todd made a statement that was apparently accidentally offensive. Rule: Don’t automatically apologize if her being offended doesn’t make sense. Keep your frame. “The reason why not = The reason why” This means that when a girl gives you a reason why it won’t work out (right now) you can change (re-frame) that into something that will work out (right now). An example from this set is that the girl said “We can get coffee sometime” -> Todd implies something about it being “alcoholic coffee” right now. Change the meaning/reinterpret! Set: Katie in bikini in a park on the grass. With a boyfriend coming soon. Line: “Don’t say that, say something else” when she says something that doesn’t fit the frame or the pickup at all, to get her to say something that’s more in line with what you want to be going on. Say “just friends” to give her an excuse when the vibe is clearly man-to-woman. Keep the frame all the time, even if she responds like “I can’t go in that frame right now”. As long as she stays there and isn’t like “Go away!!” or something, it’s ok. In this case, Katie was lying on the ground and she probably wasn’t going to leave. In cases like this, get the number and solidify later. If you have the contact info, you can leaver whenever that’s necessary and up to that point you can stay and make the connection stronger. Say certain sex-related things in a 3rd person manner or hypothetical to bring up the topic without introducing the “slutty”-factor so both of you can get away with discussing it. Exercise: - Group of 3. Take turns saying “Sex with me is like…” as a fun creative exercise, and as an exercise in being comfortable with sex-related topics (that relate to yourself). - Group of 3. Take turns saying “I like my woman like a…” as a similar exercise. - Several exercises revolving around “Fortunately… Unfortunately…” sentences. You have to say something positive about a person, then say something very related negative (in your opinion). These are meant to practice push-pull. - Game the wall. Just talk to a wall for a few minutes, like it’s a girl that doesn’t give any input. I used a lot of statements like “you’re quiet but I’m ok with that. I like quiet girls. You don’t have to talk, I’ll take that responsibility. But be sure to listen carefully.” But also a lot of other random bullshit. I recently talked to this girl that was like this, she didn’t talk for the first 2 minutes at all. This was a great experience, because it showed me how she eventually opened up after some time because I simply stayed there, kept calm, and kept talking (not even a lot, just enough). Very much recommended exercise, it’s a great learning experience.
Video: Todd’s tough night out. Lots of sets, not all covered here. Marquis pool area, Las Vegas. Asian girl sitting on air mattress at the side of the pool (not in the pool): Friend to girl: “We should get more drinks” to get her away from Todd, but he uses that as a chance to get drinks with her and isolate her or whatever. Later there’s an awkward situation where they get back to the air mattress, she sits down on it but next to someone who’s already sitting there. There’s no space for Todd, so he has to either stand there or try to get the guy away or squeeze in there anyway. This is all very awkward in a needy way, so it’s a tough situation to deal with. Line: “What am I gonna do with you…”, example of something sexual, yet also not. How to gauge whether to spend more time on the set (in other words, how well is it going): 1. Hotness – Most important. Her attractiveness won’t really change much, if it’s bad then it’s bad and it won’t work. 2. On-ness – How “on” she is. How attracted, aroused, etc. Easy to change with time. 3. Situation/logistics – 2nd most important thing, since it can often be tough to change. Line: “Let’s just have fun and let the grownups handle the serious stuff.” Line: “Let’s not ruin this with facts and feelings.” Both frame the seduction in a fun experience that shouldn’t be taken too serious and should be enjoyed for what it is right now. It removes the relationship/date type of pressures for now. A move to test for compliance and possible force a Decision: “Just go talk with *friends*, it’s fine.” See if she is rather stays or if she just goes to do so. If she does move away, say something like “Oh by the way” or whatever and just keep her with you and keep talking. Focus on not just one set, focus on generally improving your chance of pulling throughout the night. A girl that didn’t work out before might do so later in the night, some numbers earlier can turn into pulls later, etc. And, you’re free from outcome in that one set which is great. If the friend is annoying, it can help to give her some honest attention for a bit. Early on, imply going home together (without her feeling slutty) to gauge on-ness (and maybe logistics). Her response will contain valuable information. You can deal with objections in a very direct manner when she’s actually eager to come along. Underlying assumption (to an extent): She just doesn’t know me well enough yet. She’ll like me if she gets to know me better, she’s just misinterpreting who I am right now. When she’s on, you can walk away in a leading manner and let her follow (test, compliance, etc.) Line: “Do you want an honest answer?” to create some suspense for the following answer. Story: some girl said to Todd “You’re too short, that’s a deal-breaker.” Todd used this sentence (/test) in his advantage by saying “Deal-breaker for what? Ooh, you’re talking about sex already!”
Such reframes can be summarized in a sentence (by Todd): “The reason why not, is the reason why.” Story: Todd told a story of an amazingly hot girl who was just not showing any indication that she was “on” until he was actually home with her. This shows the importance of the rule that if she’s standing there and she’s not implying she wants you to fuck off, you should stay with her. Just see how far it can go. (Whether it’s worth the time investment does depend on hotness.) Using excuses is ok in working out logistics. You need to create your own luck there. She’s not stupid, in the back of her head she knows what’s going on, but emotionally she needs the excuse. She needs a different story to herself and/or others, which comes down to “It just happened”. When you leave for a while to do whatever, and you see her again, just say something along the lines of “Oh here you are, I lost you, you had me worried there”. If you can, combine screening for logistics with value/comfort interaction. Fun tension builder: Pretend you’ll kiss her, but then don’t, or kiss her on the cheek, etc. Always leave a girl better than you found her, provide a good experience. End of the night, pulls the cute short chick. Line: “Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy kissing you, but…” Line: “This isn’t going to work out, but I have nothing against you, you’re cute and cool, we’ll find a great guy for you”. Push-pull type of lines. Later, during comfort phase: Use statements that imply she’s chasing you, like she’s seducing and sexualizing. But somewhat playful, not entirely serious, otherwise she might feel slutty. Also, slow down and escalate. It’s like a short and sexy love story, in which she’s swept off her feet by an amazing guy (you) and taken along for an adventure with you. Self-disqualification, showing some weakness, is a form of comfort. But don’t over-do it. You don’t have to be super-interesting at the end, as long as you’re both engaged in the process it’s probably even better to just say randomness that doesn’t distract from or diminishes the sexual vibe that’s going on between the two of you.
Physical Escalation Set: Red-head with the knot at night on the sidewalk. Todd has a “magic wand” from the club with which he gestures her over to him. Gradually increase escalation, keep calibrating for how to proceed. Physical ‘invitations’, giving her a chance to say “no” non-verbally, so she doesn’t actually say “no” to you and you can both pretend it didn’t really happen. Hand of God, for example. In that case however, she has to take action, and sometimes light physicality where she only has to move away to show she doesn’t want it yet for example, can work as well. However, when things go well, you can progress through such consecutive small steps very fast. Giving compliments here and there is ok, it’s about the way you do it. Creative, non-needy, etc. In the set, Todd qualifies to the fat friend to make her think he’s not going to make a move on her friend anyway. Anything that makes the girl’s friend(s) think that is good. However, turning the girl on and making the friend think she’s “safe” from you usually conflict. While there are situations that combine the two (Todd told a story of a situation in which the friend could only see him pulling back on a kiss, but couldn’t see him escalating on the girl’s leg at the same time), this is often complicated. In such cases, it’s usually better to edge on ‘defusing’ the friend. Another example of making something less ‘slutty’: “Walk with me” turned into something like “I’ll walk rather near you and talk with you” which is a rather weird sentence but it simply doesn’t have the same sexual charge, making it more ‘acceptable’ for the girl and more importantly her friend. Set: Some girl sitting on a stool at a bar at night. Talked with her for 50 minutes when clip starts. Kissing a girl should increase sexual tension, it shouldn’t be like you “got the make-out” or that that was all you wanted and you’re satisfied now. If you do it, it should be a part of the process. You can sometimes ‘be the girl’ in a sense, giving shit (-tests) and letting her fill the silences. Always feel like “I’m fine with pressure/awkwardness, it’s no big deal for me.” A girl who has a dazed look (mouth a bit open, glazed over look in her eyes) is usually interested. (Or possibly on drugs, of course) Set: Date from online. They sit at opposite sides of a rather large table at a bar-like venue. The girl knew he‘s a pickup instructor. Usually when this happens, girls try to get him on a ton of dates, without having sex with him. That’s validation for her. She talks about all kinds of boring topics (see the earlier part on “Question Game” to know what’s interesting and what’s not) and tries to avoid sexual tension. Instead, it should be about “us”.
Eventually he says some things about her and she loses validation, which gets her flustered. He walks around the table and kisses her, giving her approval. Physicality should be a part of communication between her and you, it shouldn’t be a goal. Set: Japanese girl in the club area of Marquis, Las Vegas. Very loud and her English isn’t great. The communication is mostly non-verbal. Lots of touch, dancing, etc. At least some energy is important in such an environment. Some words to learn in another language when you’re doing pickup in another country: Taxi, party, drink, trouble, cute, friend, me, you, us/we, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend(s), etc. If a girl doesn’t want something then that’s ok for now, don’t be a loser trying to convince her. (This is different from dealing with objections when figuring out logistics and such.) Generally don’t be too sexual in the club all the time, it’s too obvious (and might involve the anti ‘slut’ defences). Just give strong spikes during the interaction. “Test the vibe” on if it’s sweet, sexual, etc. If she’s ok with (subtly) grinding on your leg with her pussy, then the pull is probably good to go. (It’s important to know when you can pull! This is obviously just an example.) In contrast to what was said earlier, Todd takes regular breaks from moving her around for sexuality. In this interaction however, it was very much part of the flow. It would’ve been weird not to. Never get lazy. The responsibility of the interaction is usually on you. You don’t have to fill all the silences etc. but you do keep engaging sufficiently, keep the interaction and the experience alive. The pull should never be too obvious, so she can tell herself “it just happened, not my fault”. In this case, Todd makes sure she’s not facing the elevator while waiting and doesn’t have to think about it too much that they’re going somewhere else together. Same goes for waiting in line for a taxi. Getting your coat question: Either just leave it or tell a friend to take care of it (and give your ticket). Everything in the interaction should be more like “We’re getting to know each other and stuff just happens on the way” and not so much “We’re moving towards sex”, so she doesn’t feel slutty. Exercises to improve your focus. 1: Speaking about a topic while the other person tries to interrupt you in any way possible. Rules: The interrupting person may not touch the talking person and may not inflict hearing damage. 2: Groups of 3 or 4. One person says a word, the next one too, then the whole group says these two words + “badada”. It should create rhythm. Then 2nd and 3rd person say a word, and so on. - End of Physical Escalation part -
Set: 2 hot blondes in the daytime on the street, with Julien. Todd eventually got the number of the girl he wanted, see Todd’s Hotseat notes for more on that. Julien’s game: Basically he cycles through fun and putting pressure on the girl. He tells crazy stories and such to have fun. He wants the attention on himself and in the meantime tries to get the girl to prove herself to him. He also does some playful approval/disapproval, push-pull. Highly self-amused. What he lacks: Sometimes Relevance and Emotion in FRED, and often Decision isn’t a focus. Todd often says things that make girls laugh or intrigued, but at the same time gets them thinking “Wait, does that mean something good or bad about me?” That kind of ambiguity is good. Figure out the girl’s blueprint (what defines her, what’s her insecurity, what does she care about) and play with that. If her blueprint is that she cares about status (like the blonde in this set), don’t brag about having it but imply you have to create intrigue. Set: Tall slim girl with great ass in pink-orange short skirt, on an outside dancefloor. First he talks some value and fun, then some movement for the rhythm which turns into physicality. She rather quickly starts grinding him. Some sexy dancing, and adding more non-verbal sexy stuff. Then they relocate to a quieter area, and they do some more talking while being physical (no dance). The talking is still with value but more normal talk, comfort is involved. Todd takes a quick break and talks to his friends or something, probably to show he’s not clingy and make her a bit afraid she lost him (so she’ll appreciate it more when he’s back). He adds more stuff that puts on the “You chase me” frame. He says “come for 2 seconds, we’ll dance again after that” (maybe add things like “because I love dancing with you” and “I promise”). Dancing is ‘safe’, accepted. It’s moving with him that feels like a bigger investment. So, explain to her you’ll return to the safe place later (even while you possibly won’t if the vibe is better for doing something else) to indicate it’s a low-risk Decision. Line (example) for push-pull: “You’re a bit socially retarded but I like it, it’s cute” or something. When the girl starts to give commands, Todd calls her out “Oh you’re not bossy or anything!” Side note: Every time he does something like that, his vibe is playful challenging and dominant. Walking around is done in a “we’re together” fashion, hand in hand or arm in arm.
Dealing with guys Set: Blonde in party area is already with another guy who she met earlier that night. Julien pissed off the guy already, didn’t have much success there. Todd creates an ‘accidental’ open. The guy and the girl are in a discussion (because of Julien) but are face to face so there’s little opening for Todd to come into the set. Todd says hello to a wing right behind the set and thereby pushes the set open a bit with his body. He then acts like he assumes the set knows his wing and asks them how they know him. He’s now in the set and it’s all ‘an accident’ so the other guy in the set can’t really do anything about it. Todd engages the girl and tries to get her to face him. This works well enough and he just keeps chatting with her while the guy is next to them, getting frustrated because he feels like he’s losing the girl. Todd uses his body to subtly block off the guy (talking in the ear which the guy stands next to so he can’t engage her for example). At some point however, the girl turns back to the guy again. Todd just has fun, dances a bit and plays with his phone while the guy gets pissed at the girl, starts calling her out and basically starts slutshaming the girl for suddenly talking with Todd. He also tries to get angry at Todd but Todd basically replies with “Hey we’re all friends here, we’re just having fun” etc. so that the guy can’t really get anything there. He basically defeats himself here. It results in the guy leaving and the girl explaining she only just met this guy (basically validating to Todd and saying she didn’t really care for the other guy, which he obviously has to thank himself and his frustrated behaviour for, even though she was into him before). -
Create an ‘accidental’ open and conversation so the guy can’t really do anything about it, he’d come across as an asshole when it’s all just a coincidence. Block him off by the angle and proximity to the girl (again, by ‘coincidence’). Let him get frustrated over time. He feels like he’s losing her and will start making mistakes. If she involves him or something, just wait and have your own fun. Let him dig his own grave when he’s frustrated. Think “If she was my girlfriend, what would I do”
VERY often the guy who’s with the girl isn’t her boyfriend. Actually, he’ll usually eventually assume that you and her are together and just back off. Note by assistant: Hardly any boyfriend & girlfriend are in a bar at 2am. They’re at home having sex. Be proactive: “Oh hey, how do you guys know each other?” Point out the other guy’s agenda. If you were in longer than him, you can possibly choose to just move her away, like saying “ok this was fun” and then picking her up (literally) and carrying her a bit elsewhere.
Pull You can do checks, like if she will make out just before leaving or whatever. “We’re going somewhere lovely, where you’ll love it… etc.” sentence, see Todd Manifesto. Seed the pull. Plant the idea of you and her leaving somewhere else from early on in the set. Early on you can say: “We can go somewhere else later” for example. That gives you the opportunity to deal with objections early on already, instead of figuring out all the problems at the end. In the latter case, you may have spent a lot of time on the set but then figure out it’s not going to work out at all only at the end. You could’ve spent that time in a better way. Sneak one past the goalie: Say so much shit with sexual stuff throughout, that it’s just too much info to really react or object to it. So it’s been said, it’s out in the open, but she didn’t object to it. Set: Indian girl in Vegas. When she’s really into it: “It was nice to meet you” to make her chase. Her: “You say that to all the girls.” Todd: “How modest of you to think that you’re not special.” Move her after a ‘frame battle’. It’s like sex after a fight. You decide you like each other by resolving. She should be excited, not just agreeing to move with you. It should be an adventure, something fun. It should be low risk: “We’ll be back quick/we can’t stay there long” when moving elsewhere. *I couldn’t be there for the last hour which contained more info on the pulling phase*
The structure was different from the initial notes by Todd. In case you want to compare, I suggest you try to find the sets that fit together by looking for similarities in the descriptions.
