Your Wildest Dreams Made Possible

T h e Le a d in g M a n Program Eight Your Wildest Dreams Made Possible My name is Scot McKay, and in this audio program we're going to be talking about unreasonable expectations made reasonable. I've kind of subtitled this “Your Wildest Dreams Made True.” Now, that's kind of a title that's going to conjure some thoughts in your head. “Man, this maybe too good to be true.” But listen. I'm interested in taking you from good to great. That's what we're specializing around here at X & Y Communications, and this is going to be no exception. You see, there's a lot of talk about “limiting beliefs” out there. Usually, this is in the context of our own personal limitations, mostly because we as guys just can't get out of our own heads. We think about our own wants. We think about our own needs, and we often fail to consider what's going on in the minds of women and what contributes to a good partnership between a man and a woman. Indeed, that inability to get out of one's own head is what contributes to a lot of lack of skill in terms of relating to women in general, if you think about it. Now, indeed, sometimes those “limiting beliefs” as we call them can indeed apply to women also--and even relationships at large. We tell ourselves things just aren't possible when in fact they're very much possible. They really can happen. And in this audio program, I'm going to address exactly those concepts. Now, which one of us, guys, hasn't watched what happens in movies between men and women and pronounced it “impossible?” I mean, look at how women talk about guys in their lives when you watch it on TV. Like you think of Sex And The City and things like that. Do women really talk like that? Do they really get with their girlfriends and just glow about this certain guy they've been dating whereas this other guy just gets blasted apart? Are women really falling in love and chasing guys, creating unbelievable romantic situations for the guys in their lives? You may even watch how women react to guys in certain porn movies and say, “Huh! It'll never happen.” So then, are there unrealistic things that are portrayed? Of course, there are. But remember that what comes after the word “but” is always the most important. The vast majority of what we tell ourselves isn't possible is possible. Now, you see, I personally used to believe that most of what other guys talk about in terms of their amazing dealings with women was hyperbole. You know, what goes on the in the lockerroom and so forth. I used to believe that there was no such thing as a happy marriage. And after my divorce, it was especially easy to think that way, having had my wife leave me--when really everybody told me it was no fault to my own--and taking my daughter with her, and E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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even sometimes using her against me as a weapon. It was easy to think, “You know what? Look. I've done everything I possibly could do for this woman and it still ended badly.” Well, once I got better at attracting women, some of those previously unthinkable or impossible things really started to happen in real life. Some of the things that only happen in the stories told by other guys or only happened in the movies-- they really started happening. But even then, other limiting beliefs took the place of the old ones. For example, I started to think that monogamy was a myth and that this variety that I was experiencing with the number of women in my life was really the ultimate. And there was not going to be any way I could ever go back and be faithful to any one woman. I haven't really shared that with anybody before. But when I was at the height of dating lots of women at once, I was saying, “Hey! You know what? I really do want to find one great woman someday, and I really do want to find out what it is that I want in a woman.” But man, when you start really getting successful at attracting women and having a bunch of them in your life, it's very easy to say, “Man, am I ever going to be able to pare this down to one woman?” You hold out the hope that you're going to find this one great woman, but you know what? That limiting belief really, really can creep in. Well, you know the end of that story. You know that I met Emily and all the other women were gone within eight days. So, again, there was another limiting belief that went down the drain. Now, you see, I want you to experience the fullness of what success with women can bring. That's my sincere goal with everything we do around here and especially with this particular audio program. Now, you may have the ““Big Four”” down and you may have all but conquered your own personal limiting beliefs. By ““Big Four””, of course, I mean that you're confident, that you're masculine, that you're a man of strong character--you do what you say you're going to do, and you do what's right even when you're in private--and, of course, that you can inspire confidence in women. You can give them the safety and security that they need. Now, you're going to find that all four of those are absolute cornerstones (one at all four corners, right?) with regard to helping you transform how you view the world from within as well as from without…helping you get over those limiting beliefs. And I've got multitude of articles and even some past audio programs that I've done that can help you sort out the ““Big Four”” in your life. Now, once you have conquered all of your limiting beliefs in terms of the ““Big Four””, you'll become the kind of man that you want to be. It’s only when you’ve allowed yourself to accept and believe that amazing things are truly possible in terms of how women can react to you, in both the long and short term frankly, that you’ll begin to experience the kind of wild success I so often talk about. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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So, let’s start breaking some of these down. In this first section, let’s talk about attraction, okay? One of the things that guys just tend to believe doesn’t happen in real life is actually getting women to notice you and smile at you first. I would say that most guys don’t live a life where they walk around with women just smiling at them and waving and being coquettish with them. So, how come most guys don’t have that happen? Is it because we’re not worthy? Is it because women don’t want to smile at us? I don’t think so. I think it’s because we have approach anxiety written at our core even when we’re out in public just passing by other women on the street. If you were more approachable in your demeanor, if you were more gregrarious, more friendly…if you had body language that said, “Hey, I’m a pretty friendly person. You can talk to me without getting your head chewed off.” you would have more women smile at you. If you smiled at more women first, taking the lead, you would find more women smiled at you back. Stop being afraid of eye contact. Most guys, when they see a pretty woman, what would they do? They look right down at the ground. How is a woman supposed to smile at you if she doesn’t have eye contact with you? If you want to take this one step further, you can make sure that you’re a man who moves with masculine grace. You’re acting like a man. You’re making a bold statement with your style, with your demeanor, with your voice, with your body language, with how you carry yourself that you’re a man in the presence of women. And I tell you something guys, that makes women smile without even realizing that they’re doing it. By style, I mean don’t go out with “wife beaters” and an old pair of sneakers on. Find some clothes that make you look good so that you can catch the attention of more women and have more of them smile at you. Also, I would say directness without intimidation is a very, very major key here. You want to be able to address women, talk to them with confidence, but without having this attitude that you’re somehow dangerous. You got to put women at ease and then they’ll start smiling at you more. Here’s a second one: Getting women to think about you all the time. Now, how many of us have read dating advice sales letters and seen this kind of hype--at least we thought it was hype, right? “Get a woman to think about you all the time.” Well, alright, let’s be fair here. I believe, and I’m on record with this, that there is more human nature than there is male or female nature in particular. And you know guys, every one of us can raise our hand and we’ve had that “oneitis”. We’ve had that one woman we just can’t just shake. We can’t get her off our mind. Well, what did that? Why were we so drawn to this woman? Well yes, she probably looked great, but she captivated us with femininity. Well, here’s how that works for women. The good news is you don’t have to be incredibly handsome, but if you get to know a woman and you want her to think about you all the time, you’ve got to have her best interest at heart without being needy. She has to feel that when you’re in her presence, there’s something about you that’s got her back. You’ve got her covered. You’re taking care of her, but you don’t want something from her. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Another major key is that you always leave her wanting more. Always. The phone conversations are just a little too short. You take her home from those first few dates just a little too early. And guys, I realized this, man. I realize when you’re out with a woman that you really like, you want to stay up all night, stay up all day the next day. And you know, I’ve got on 72-hour dates before. It’s not unreasonable. But you’ve got to leave her wanting more. That will get her to think about you when you’re not there because things were going really, really well when you were with her. And think about it…if you leave when things are going well and she hadn’t had enough yet, what’s she left to do? She’s left to anticipate more. That keeps you in her head. You also have to be willing to leave, even if you like her. Like I said, so many guys get a little selfish because they want to continue being with this women…when they know that they should be leaving her wanting more. You see how that dynamic works? You’ve go to have self-control here, especially sexually. It’s not just in the matter of whether you’re leaving her wanting more or not. It’s, “Can you enjoy her company and help that sexual attraction ramp up?” instead of just acting like a bull in a china shop and going for it before the time is right. Can you make every moment an adventure? Even if it’s mundane, can you laugh and joke if you’re just picking up a few things at the store on the way? Can you walk in a park and hold her hand and look her in the eye and do something whimsical--do something that she hasn’t done in years? Take her places, give her experiences, even in the moment making even those small things you’re doing massive adventures to her. How do you that? It’s just the two of you. And if you’re attracted to each other, it’s easy to make every moment an adventure. What you do is you don’t let the conversation lapse, you don’t complain, you don’t start worrying about things, you don’t bring up the worries of the day, you don’t talk about your job…God forbid. You just enjoy her company. You relax in that. Take away the stress and enjoy this woman’s company. And by doing that, you’re going to make every moment an adventure for this woman. You’re sexual without being sex-focused. This is the kind of thing that gets a woman to think about you--because she is anticipating being physical with you. She is wondering what it’s like and you haven’t worn it on your sleeve. You’ve kept some mystery about you. That mystery, that bit of intrigue, the fact that you have the patience as a mature man--to enjoy every moment of getting to know this woman, to enjoy every unfolding experience that you have--is what keeps you firmly embedded in her mind. Very, very important. Now, how do you take that one step further and get her to fantasize about you? Well, the last point that I made is no doubt a major contributor here, but I want you stop and think about the very thought of having a woman fantasize about you for a second. Have you ever known for sure that there was a woman out there who went to bed at night thinking about you? Thinking about what it would like to be with you--having a little fantasy of you just taking her. Have you ever thought about that? A lot of guys think that’s not a reasonable thought. They think women don’t think like that. They think that is something that some guys “made up” about how women are. Well let me E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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tell you something, women have very vivid fantasies. Now the last points that I made about getting inside a woman’s head can very much germinate into her fantasizing about you. But let’s add some things to it. Let’s add some layers. If you can make her feel safe, even as you make her feel like a woman, it’s all-important, And it’s all because you want to. If you’re enjoying her feminine company, if you are doing things that validate her femininity, she is going to start feeling like a woman…and that woman wants to feel that way. She doesn’t want to feel like a neuter creature. She wants attraction. She wants to be swept off her feet. This is where things come in like walking her across the street and twirling her, like a dance move. Kissing her in the elevator like I like to talk about so much. Picking her up. One of the new coaches we have, right, Joseph Jensen…his favorite move is to take a woman and pick her up off a park bench after they’ve been sitting in the park together and then put her on her feet. I think that’s brilliant. I think that’s absolutely fantastic stuff because you’re making her feel like a woman. Now you don’t have to be a gorilla-sized guy to do this sort of stuff. You do whatever it is that you’re capable of doing, and different guys have different tools in their toolbox, right? But the important thing is when you open the door for a woman, she feels like a woman. When you take care of something--when you kill a spider in the bathroom, right? It makes her feel like a woman. That gets women to fantasize about you. Now, if you’ve never lived with a woman before, if you’ve never helped a woman like in a college dorm room or whatever get rid of some pest or something… Whenever you do something that’s mildly heroic, sometimes women will look at you with these dreamy eyes. When you get the “dreamy eyes” from a woman, guys, that means she is really starting to think about possibilities with you. And when a woman is thinking about even long-term possibilities, or whether she is thinking about just ripping your clothes off, there’s a fantasy going on there. For different women, it will be a different fantasy. But yes, you can make this happen. If you paint romantic pictures in word and deed… If you learn descriptive language and take her places that promote a sense of being alive… This means being alone with her in your own little world for a while and her feeling secure about it. If you can take her somewhere in the country at night, under a full moon, park the car and take a walk--when it’s just silence, you and the crickets and her--and she feels perfectly safe with your arm around her, you are doing what it takes to create fantasies. That’s what it does. That’s how women start thinking in those terms. You start crafting rapport specifically in terms of sexual compatibility. You tell her she fits when you hug her. You tell her how her lips melted magically into yours when you kissed her. That reassurance…that feeling you’re giving a woman that’s layered on top of the feeling you’ve just gave her by hugging her or kissing her or whatever, is what helps all of that continued to build. The tension arises. The thought process gets kicked into gear because you’re leading it there. Build real adventure into her life. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Now, any of you guys out there who have a motorcycle--I don’t care if it’s a Harley, I don’t care if it’s a GSXR--you take a woman on a ride on your motorcycle. Let her feel the breeze. You know, almost no woman have ever even ridden on a motorcycle? Now, I mentioned motorcycles in the character-based Keno Premium audio program and it’s for good reason. You give a woman that experience, she is going to come back and she is just going to be that much more “viscerally accelerated”, as I like to call it. In other words, she is going to feel like she has been kicked up a notch or two in terms of her getting in touch with life. You will be the guy who she attributes this feeling to, and that will cause fantasies to start. Any exciting hobby or even fun day trip where you get to be close and experience each other. Those memories--that excitement--will be forever tied to you. And that’s incredibly important because it gets her to fantasize about you. And then, the clincher. When you’re sure she is completely attracted to you, keep building more and only fulfill upon it in bite size pieces. Now, contrast that with ripping of her clothes ASAP. I mean, think about it. Guys love to look thorough Victoria Secret model catalogs, then the women actually get the Victoria Secret stuff. They put it on, and what do we do? We rip it right off! Enjoy that woman. Enjoy her femininity. Help her enjoy the fantasies. And you know what? Make her feel comfortable enough that she tells you about her fantasies. Get her to feel comfortable enough that she tells you she has been fantasizing about you. How hot is that going to make you? Then, you help fulfill each other fantasies together. And you’re going to get to a point where you are doing things and experiencing things in your life that other guys really don’t think exist…ever. And I have just given you the blueprint for it right here. Now, what about getting women to chase you? That is, so you have control over your dealings with women. A lot of guys just flat out don’t believe that men can possibly be the choosers and women be the chasers. Well, let’s talk step by step about how to get the job done so that women are chasing you instead of you doing the groveling. Now, we don’t want women to grovel at you. That isn’t very attractive. But we do want women to understand that you are the guy who is in control of your dating life and that they’re going to have to work a little harder to get you than maybe the next girl. You show interest in women, but you always have options. Options are the key. If there’s only one woman in your life that you have any chance with right now, there’s no chance that that woman is going to understand anything other than that she can kind of evaluate you. She can take things at her own speed. She can call the shots because you’re going to be the one chasing her. That’s because she is your only option. If you have options of your own, that’s off the table. Now again, you’re not trying to manipulate women into a situation that they don’t enjoy and E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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you’re not trying to have the upper hand on someone just for the sake of having the upper hand. What you’re trying to have, as a very real situation in your life, is control over your dating life instead of someone else controlling it for you. Namely, the one woman that you must have at the expense of all others, even though you don’t even really know her that well yet. So then, absolutely. You want to get off of this path of chasing women all the time. You want instead women understanding that you’re in demand and responding accordingly. I don’t think it’s ever attractive for anybody to chase anybody, to be completely honest with you. But one of the ways that you can get that kind of control over your dating life is to not always be available. If she calls you and says, “Hey, let’s do something right now.” you don’t go, “Okay!” and jump like a jackrabbit at her beck and call. You don’t do it. If she has something she wants to give you, it can wait a little bit. If she has a favor that needs to be done…first of all, you don’t need to be available to change all of her light bulbs, wash her car, and do things for her. That’s chasing her. Don’t always be there. Don’t always answer every call, return every single text message. You don’t have time for that anyway. You’ve got to prioritize some things in your life other than her sometimes, right? So, let that be a lesson--a very important one. Express a desire to wait. Guys, overall patience is an incredible virtue, not just for manhood, but in dealing with women. Outlasting a woman’s patience when she is attracted to you is allimportant. I’m going to say that again. Outlasting a woman’s patience when she is attracted to you is all-important. Now, you don’t’ leave her hanging. You know, if she is tickling you and hitting you with a pillow when you’re a watching a movie together, kiss the girl. But you shouldn’t be the guy who is over-eager for anything at any given time. That will help you in the business world and on the sports field too, guys. Now interestingly, in the midst of all this you do want to make the time that you spend with a particular woman count. You may be seeing many women, you may have lots of options, but when a woman is with you she must be the only woman in the world to you. Even though she knows she hasn’t exactly caught you yet. So you keep the intrigue going, you keep her interest level high, and you’re not using people. You’re not patronizing people. You’re not saying to a woman, “Yeah, well, what are you going to do to attract me? What are going to do impress me?” You don’t want to end up like a caricature of a woman who is trying to get guys to grovel over her. You want to be gracious. You do have options, but you must appreciate the women who are in your life. You could pretty much sum it all up by saying, “Don’t get caught.” You know, I’m still not to this day. If a woman has “caught you,” that means you don’t have options anymore. That means she has basically hooked you. She has trained you. She has brought you into her fold and she is in charge. And she is calling all the shots. She could be even wearing the pants. If you’re a guy who wants women to be competing for you instead of you doing all the chasing, you must never ever, ever be caught. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Now, I love Emily very much. She and I now had a son together, so our lives are pretty much tied at this point. But, she also knows that if she disappeared--God forbid--tomorrow from my life, life would go on for me. I would be able to go meet other women and I would make a happy life for myself. See, if I was “caught”, she wouldn’t be able to trust me anymore. And we’ve talked time and time again how important this trust is, how she needs to feel secure. If she knows that I have options, the irony is the fact that I’m sticking around by choice makes me more trustworthy. And guess what? You know what? She has options too. Nobody chased each other here. We selected each other from many options. Now, how do you get women to forget other guys, even guys they’re seeing? Now, a lot of guys say, “Well, you know what, there is no way if you have any competition, you’re going to rise to the top.” And if a woman’s seeing another guy, you know, obviously she loves him and things are never ever going to get any worse, and she’ll probably end up marrying him. Well wait a minute. Most women break up with the guys that they’re seeing. Now, if you’re dealing with a woman who is married, that’s pretty much forbidden turf, I would say. I don’t want you guys to even think about messing with a married woman. That’s not just playing fair. But when there’s a woman who says that things aren’t going well with her boyfriend, you do have a chance. You don’t want to go steal her, you don’t want to force the issue, but you do want perhaps to position yourself as the guy who is going to finalize in her mind that she needs another guy. And that guy is you if she is a woman you want in your life. The first thing you do in these situations if you want to get women to forget every other guy on Earth? You know, let’s say they’re not dating anyone at all. Certainly, there’s a few guys out there they have their eyes on, right? How do you get these women to forget those guys, whether they have a boyfriend that they’re not happy with or whether they’re single? Well first and foremost, you relax in the notion that you have the “Big Four” down and that you understand a woman’s way of thinking. If you can relax in the fact that you’re what every woman wants--and I don’t mean that in arrogant sense, I mean, that you’ve taken the time to figure out that women want a masculine confident man of character who can inspire their confidence--and if you can truly grasp how important security is to a woman, then you’re going to be way ahead of every other guy she knows. You will be the catch. You don’t have to talk yourself into believing you’re the prize. You will be. Just say “no” to letting this insecurity creep in over any potential competition because I’m going to tell you something guys, you don’t have to pressure her to quit seeing other guys or thinking about other guys. There are so few guys who understand what we talk about here that you will not have any competition--or very, very little. I remember I got to the point where when I did have worthy competition, and there was a woman who was sincerely interested in another guy who was a worthy competitor to me, I almost felt like finding him, shaking his hand, and saying, “Man, way to go. You deserve her.” because that’s how rare those kind of guys are. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Now, on top of all of this, even if you’ve got all of this down, you can still blow it by saying, “Uh…what are the other guys you’re seeing like? Can you tell me about them?” That’s going to telegraph that you’re still insecure about it. So, kind of put a lid on that. If she is complaining about other guys, you’ve got to understand that’s a good sign. It’s not necessarily a JBF zone indicator. I know that other guys teach that. “Oh, well you know, that if she is venting to you about other guys she is seeing, then she is just using you for a good friend and a sounding board.” But, if she is giving you notice--if she is serving notice to you that she is unhappy elsewhere--that’s something completely different. You see, asking you for advice is one thing. Pitching you subtly to make a move is another. When this happens, simply agree with her misgivings without mentioning any names. Defend the guy if he is not really doing anything wrong, and don’t pile on either. Don’t say, “Hey, I bet he does this and I bet he does that and I bet he is just a really bad guy.” And don’t sell yourself. “I would never do that to you. I would be a completely different guy. I would be much better to you.” That’s starting to sound like an average frustrated champ and Mr. Nice Guy. Just lay back and let her do the talking. Now, how do you get women to initiate physical contact rather than playing “keep away” from you? Now this is counter-intuitive but incredibly simple. It’s almost a darn shame. Well you know what? It is a darn shame that most guys think it’s utterly preposterous to think that a woman would never initiate physical contact. Well, you are a masculine man without being sex-focused. That all-important patience comes back in. That’s the first step. Then, you appreciate her femininity. She smells good to you. Her vivacious joy is contagious and you show appreciation by your actions. She wants to feel like a woman like we just said before, and you deliver that feeling to her. All the while, you are 100% genuine and not being sexually pushy. There is no agenda. You’re not there to “get laid”. You’re there to appreciate a woman and ignite femininity. Very, very different. No agenda whatsoever. You are far enough above the fray. Far enough up the ladder of Maslow’s Hierarchy that you are sexually appreciative without being sexually needy. You’re breathing oxygen, you’ve eaten today, your stomach is full, you’re safe. There aren’t people shooting at you. But unlike other guys, you’re also sexually fulfilled. You’re not out there desperately trying to “get some”. That’s where you’re separated from the pack. You acknowledge her female sexual presence but have major self-control. And here’s an untold secret--and this is a massive point that 99.9% of all guys miss. Sensual rules over sexual with women. Again, this is all about helping her feel like a woman and enjoy all the feelings. When you give women positive feelings, when you give women feelings that they’re proud to be a woman--that they’re attracted to you and they’re getting in touch with life when you’re around--this is helping awaken her senses. Her senses get filled when she is around you. This is why cologne and certain fabrics with certain textures are a turn on for women. For E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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them, it’s a sensual experience. You see, you get this right and you’re going to be engaging in foreplay without even mentioning the word “sex”. This is how women operate. I’m sharing with you the secrets of the universe. But in order to affect this in your life, you’ve got to get out of your own head. You’ve got to stop thinking about what you want so much and begin leading a woman towards taking hold of what she wants. You do that by awakening emotion, igniting femininity. And if you can help a woman appreciate that, if you can give her the smells and the textures and the tastes…a nice glass of white wine with the music in the background… If you can please her senses, and appeal to that sensual human being under there, the next step is that her sexuality gets awakened because she has been ignited. Now a lot of guys also think that women just aren’t good to men anymore. You can’t find a woman who’s going to treat you right, at least not North America, right? How many times have you heard that? Getting women to buy you stuff and gets you a beer without asking is not impossible, okay? If you have ambition and a life plan, it will happen magically. I’ll say that again. Women will want to do things for you, they will want to do favors for you and be good to you if you have ambition and a life plan. In a woman’s mind, the guy is supposed to take care of the macro stuff. In other words, being the provider. Having a long term outlook on things that she can believe in, that she can subscribe to…. When women can rest that the foreseeable future is taken care of, and that they want to be a part of it, they will suddenly start wanting to support you in that. This is magical, and zero men have ever considered what I’m talking about here. While planning this very audio program, Emily brought me coffee, rubbed my back, kissed me, smiled, and left. And you know what? You’re never ever demanding. You don’t say, “Woman, go get me a beer, make me some coffee.” If need be, you do things yourself. You don’t treat her like your slave. And then you’re grateful when she does these things for you. You say, “thank you,” when she does right and you apologize when you screw up. If she forgets to do something she promised, well then, you give her a subtle reminder, but you love her anyway. You also give her attention, and return these favors. It can’t be give and no take on either side, but if you think you’ve got to give and give and give in order to keep a woman around, she is going to get spoiled. The other day, I was in San Antonio airport and I saw something that shocked me. I saw a guy who was probably in his mid-40s and he had his wife with him, and he had his daughter with him. For a split second there, the girl--who I think was probably about 21 or 22--for a split second, I thought maybe she might be his girlfriend because she owned him. She was like, telling him what to do, telling him how he could have planned things better, wondering if she was going to get what she needed when they landed from the flight to wherever they were going. And it was only when the other woman who was about the guy’s age showed up and started E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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tag-teaming with this little girl on dad that I’ve realized here was a guy who completely got “pwned” his entire life. Not only was his wife feeling like she could order him around, but the daughter had learned that she could do the same thing. Why? My guess is this guy has given and given and given to these two women and they’ve learned how not to appreciate it. They don’t even consider for a second that they’ve got to do anything in return to make his life better. Now, does this guy I saw at the airport have any ambition? Does he have a life plan? Well, I’ll tell you what. I don’t know anything about the guy, but I know that those two women standing before him didn’t have a whole lot of confidence, based on what I overheard, that his plan was a good one. They were questioning how he had planned the trip, whether they’re going to have a rental car when they landed. It was really rather preposterous. Now, let me tell you something. The girl was really cute. She was adorable, but I really feel sorry for any guy who crosses her path someday because she’s already going to have learned some pretty dangerous attitudes if you ask me. Now see, we’re talking about having the kind of field sense, guys, where not only you realize that things other guys consider impossible with women are possible, but that you have the ability to select women who are the right women to help make those realities your own. The gal at the airport, you know, she’s going to have a long way to go in order to find a guy whose plan and ambition she actually respects because she’s already going to be a little bit jaded. That kind of thinking is true for just about everything we’re saying. You’ve got to have a good selection process when it comes to women. Now, you know what? The concept of they’re not being any good women left… A lot of guys think it’s impossible that a woman will ever be faithful to you. These women just cuckold you, take all your money, your children…leave and never come back. Well, this is another simple one. You’re honest. You start out leading in honesty. You don’t tell her she looks good in a dress she doesn’t look good in. You suggest another dress that she will look good in anyway. But guys are so used to groveling to women and sugar-coating everything because they don’t want them to run away--because they don’t want to scare them away--that they end up being Mr. Nice Guy. And they’re feeding a woman’s infidelity. You must give her nothing to be jealous about. You don’t sweep the presence of other attractive people under the carpet. There’s no guessing what you are thinking. A healthy couple should be able to acknowledge that there are other attractive people on T.V. or in the shopping mall without having to fear for their relationship. A woman needs to know you selected her from many options rather than settling for her. You take the lead in being in the relationship by choice rather than by default. This is all about E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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trust, like we talked about earlier…which is all about safety and security…which of course is what women are all about in general. Given the woman with the moral scruples to begin with, that you’ve chosen out of many options--which is crucial--if you help her feel secure in your relationship, you keep her resentments at bay. And here it is: When she doesn’t resent you, she won’t feel justified in being dishonorable toward you--up to and including cheating on you. If she can’t justify it, she won’t do it. You just keep doing what it was that attracted her in the first place. You take care of her in the bedroom. So, the simple formula goes like this: attraction plus taking care of her in the bedroom plus making her feel secure equals no cheating. Now, what about getting women to be honest in general? Some guys, above and beyond the cheating factor, just don’t think women ever tell the truth. They think it’s unreasonable to even expect it. Well, you can expect women to be honest. What I’ve just described not only keeps women faithful, it fosters that climate where they can tell you the truth. But here are some other pointers for keeping women honest. First of all, snooping and demonstrating hyper levels of being “observant” won’t do it. “Baby-sitting” breeds contempt. She will not feel safe with you around and she will not feel secure while under a microscope. I mean, who would. Would you? In addition, you’re honoring her when she is honest even when it’s bad news. Here’s what I mean. You don’t spank her for being honest. You graciously accept honest grievances of hers when you’ve neglected something. You listen and if you need to apologize, you do that. If you need to change something, you change it. You’re not a doormat who apologizes at her whim. There’s a big difference. What you’re doing is you’re honoring the fact that when she brings you news, whether good or bad--you know, if she’s crushed the car, if she’s lost something--you’re not going to tear her up over it. It is just a human error. You’re honoring that honesty. On the other hand, you refuse to tolerate any white lies whatsoever in your relationships. You want her to tell you the truth at all times. Again, as so often as the case, this is all about leadership. Now, what about getting women to be dependable rather than flighty or flaky? You know, including returning calls, being on time, whatever it is. Well, from minute one, you refuse to tolerate it. You don’t build a climate in that relationship that says, “Oh, well she can stand me up, she can play with my schedule because after all, she is hot.” No, you don’t do that. You flake proof her upfront and you don’t accept even one time of having been stood up or flaked out on. How do you that? Well simply, when you’re sitting up the first date, you say to her, “Look, I’m a man who values integrity in the women that I date. I’m a man of strong character. When I say I’m going to do something, I do it. So, when I set up this date with you, I’m looking forward to meeting you on Friday night or whenever it is. I want to make sure right now that you actually plan on making it, because that’s important to me.” Now, when she speaks it with her own lips, she will probably follow through and meet you E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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there. If she doesn’t, well then guess what? You’ve dodged the proverbial bullet because that woman has absolutely no character. If she’ll speak it and make a promise, then not follow through, you’re better off without her. Now if she is late--and we’re talking, you know, by more than a little bit--and it’s habitual, tell her, “that’s unacceptable.” Don’t care how hot she is. She doesn’t earn the opportunity to be late and to keep you waiting simply because she looks good. Now on the other hand, you want to put trust in a woman so that you let her know that you expect responsibility from her. Verbalize that you’re depending on her in certain instances. Help her feel her contributions to the relationship are worthwhile. See, the problem here is men, you know, we basically wrestle everything responsible from women a lot. We take all the responsibility off their shoulders…take it right off the table. So you know what, we shouldn’t be surprised when women become flaky because nothing’s required of them…nothing is expected of them. It’s like they’re being expected the same amount that a five-year-old would be expected all over again, now that they are grown up. We shouldn’t be doing that to the women in our lives. Often, it’s easy to see flaky events as little things that shouldn’t be made a big deal of. But you know, but tolerating it, we’re creating a wasteful lifestyle. So, see what we do is we take all the responsibility off a woman shoulders, then when they flake out, we excuse it. And then, we wonder what happen. No matter how hot she is, first of all, you walk away from a woman who is inherently flighty when you meet here. It’s just not worth it. But you need to check yourself. You need to look in the mirror and say, “Am I actually contributing to women being flighty in my life?” Because if you’re seeing women all the time who are devoid of responsibility, you maybe lifting it right off of them and they’re just responding to your leadership. Amazing, huh? Ironically, I learned this lesson the hard way from all people, a flight attendant. You know, on again and off again. The first time we met, she actually pursued me from Match.com. And then we went on a few dates where she was saying, “Wow, you’re like my soul mate, you’re like the perfect person for me.” Then after a week, she disappeared. I wondered what happened. Literally, I’ve read the newspaper wondering if there was airline disaster or something. Three or four months later, she called me up going, “Hey, you know what, I’ve been thinking about you and I had this tough stuff going in my life before. But now, I’m ready to really get to know you better.” Well, why did I do? Foolishly, I accepted that. Another week of whirlwind, just amazing fun together, then she disappeared and I never heard from her. She called me at like Christmas or something and wished me well. But you know what, it wasn’t going to happen a third time. I’d learned the lesson. Now, there are a lot of guys out there who think all women are crazy, and you know, I’m raising my hand because I used to be one of those guys. Guys, look, if I can believe it, you can believe it. All women are not crazy. I mean I literally went from a guy who was dating E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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mostly crazy women to hardly ever dating any crazy women ever again just by believing that. So, what can you do to actually make it so you’re dating less crazy women and making the women around you less crazy? Well, the first thing you can do is build security by demonstrating stability. How do you know if the women in your life really are emotionally challenged if you’re the one creating the drama, right? You are the guy who helps women feel secure. You’re stable. You offer the voice of reason when the chips are down. You’re a man who can handle crisis and adversity, and in doing so you will be instilling in a woman the ability to relax where she hasn’t in the past. She doesn’t have to get worried. She doesn’t have to get anxious. You have everything under control. You have it all handled. When she does start getting emotionally out of control, you call her out on it-- right there on the spot. I think you’ve probably noticed that when women start building drama, it has a tendency to snowball. Have you noticed that? It starts off kind of small, then the tension builds, and then she is just on pins and needles. Deal with it early and deal with it often. Reassure her you have it under control. Now, for a woman who has a history of mental illness, especially psychosis, think twice. You cannot reason with an unreasonable person. At the first sign of this, you’ve got to walk away. Any time you spend with an unreasonable woman is lost time that you could’ve spent discovering women who are emotionally stable. Now, I’ve been accused of speaking too absolutely about this particular matter in the past. Certain individuals have been quick to tell me that mental illness is like any other illness and it’s not the choice of those who are affected. And as such, people who are mentally ill deserve the right to be loved, et cetera, et cetera. Well you know, I’m not going to argue with that. But having lived through a long-term relationship with an unreasonable person, my recommendation remains that you let someone else take up that task. Now of course everything that we’ve talked about so far really does apply to relationship management. Now, let’s talk about some principles that directly apply to the relationships you have with women in your life. Because there are indeed some areas where guys see a relationship with the woman in their life and just don’t really see the forest for the trees in terms of knowing what could be possible in terms of managing those relationships. What about dating more than one woman at once without making them all mad? Some guys think that’s just impossible. That’s a myth. You can’t date more than one woman at once. Honesty. You don’t hide the issue. You tell women in your life that you take exclusivity every seriously. You don’t throw away the ILYs--you know, the “I love yous”--and you tell them that love is not cheap to you. You love big. Your love is not too small. You’re interested in making sure you know what you want from a woman so that when the right one comes along, you’ll recognize her genuinely. This involves meeting and getting to know different women. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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From there, you stick to your guns. You don’t call the women in your life everyday and you don’t see them all four times a week. See, in those cases, your actions betray your words when you’re calling a woman everyday and you’re seeing her lots of times she is going to start feeling like your headed towards something that’s exclusive. And of course, we covered the whole concept of how to handle multiple long-term relationships in great detail on a complete program devoted to that subject. This leads to the next line item in our discussion today, which is having women not try to” lock you down.” Some guys think all women only want exclusive relationships. This whole concept of meeting women and having them want to keep things casual, that’s a myth. That’s not something that really happens. That’s only something that happens in the wildest dreams of guys. Ultimately, all women want to get married and they’re not going to tolerate not getting into that exclusive relationship. Well you know, this is kind of like saying “all guys only want sex”. I think most women eventually want a relationship, but it’s a mistake to assume that all will want to lock you down immediately. You know, I think guys contribute to their own demise here by making that assumption. Don’t dread this sort of conversation with a woman. Simply ask a woman what she is looking for. You know, this happens as part of the script on every one of those blasted MTV dating shows, I think. Just wait and hear exactly what she is looking for. What are you looking for from a dating relationship? What are you looking for from your social life? Listen, pay attention, then respond accordingly. If a woman has told you she is interested in jumping into something serious as soon as possible, then you tell her what’s on your mind and you see how she responds. But you may be surprised by what you hear. That’s what I’m saying here. Then you discuss it to make sure her logic holds together. You’re looking for gaps. Is this woman saying, “Yeah, I do want to take things casual. I want to see some other guys. I’m just looking to some fun right now.” Then she starts mentioning how she wants kids as soon as possible, she hates being alone, she is sick of dating… You’re looking for those inconsistencies. Then you operate according to what was decided in this conversation, which she agreed to, and you refer to it when necessary. But don’t kid yourself. If she says one thing and she means another, then you will have an unhappy woman. So, you’ve got to ride herd on this big time. But the magic here truly is in listening rather than assuming because it’s far from the truth to say that “all women only what one thing”, and that one thing being a relationship. You know, in fact, some of you guys maybe thinking the exact opposite. Can I find any woman out there who wants to have a steady relationship with me? They all seem like they’re just a bunch of female players. They all seem like they just want to use me for a while, then leave me. The funny thing about this juxtaposed with the last point is that it really does cast a spotlight--you know a big bright light--on the fact that all of these absolutes, all these things that we hold as impossible, are all in our own mind. They’re not necessarily the same for the next guy, which of course, you know, like I said, speaks boldly to the concept that all of this is E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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based on individual perspective rather the indelible truth, anyway. Maybe, you do believe that no women really want a relationship. Again, have the conversation. If you want to make that relationship instinct a reality in a woman, you have to go heavy on the “Big Four”. You have to really be masculine, really be confident, inspire confidence in her, and be a man of great character. And then you pay very careful attention to her signals. You don’t go overboard at first. You actually avoid neediness and clinginess as you would if you didn’t want her to think in terms of exclusivity. You see that? But when she asks, “Why don’t you call me more often?” or she suggests that you hang out more often, you kind of work in more phone calls, you work in hanging out with her more, and then you will bring her to that level where she realized ahead of time she likes you. She wants you around more often and you’re heading her towards that relationship mode. Pay careful attention all the while the trustworthiness and create trust in her. Share major experiences together if you want this woman to be a girlfriend. What do I mean by that? If there’s a graduation, if there’s a birthday party, if there’s a big family event, any big moment happening in your life, an awards ceremony, a major holiday, even if there’s a major news event and you’re there watching the TV together when it happens, an election like we’re going to have this year… If you’re tied to that woman, creating those common memories and those circumstances, it’s not only a great yardstick to measure compatibility. It kind of binds you together. Now, note I said that any woman can be made to be pulled into a relationship if you handle things the right way, at least potentially. Yeah, you’ve got to be this guy who is doing the same things you were doing when you first attracted her, right? Typically, women really do want a long-term exclusive relationship some day. Some, of course, want to rush in and some are more prudent, but women who want flings and “nothing serious at the present” have often been hurt and/or are suspect of men and cynical regarding relationships in general. If you create trust with that attraction, you restore her desire to try a relationship lots and lots of times…a high percentage of the time. You may have to weigh it out, but the formula is the same regardless. Notwithstanding a woman so emotionally scarred that she is unable to be one-half of a great relationship, I think you’ve got a great chance. I will stand behind the statement that most women, in their heart of hearts, daydream about having a steady, exclusive relationship with a guy at some point. What about blissful monogamy by choice? Now, there’s something most guys I would say are at least wondering if it can be possible. Can I really have an incredible, happy fulfilling life with one woman? Now, like I told you at the beginning of this audio program, there was a time where I didn’t even believe that could happen in my own life. It took the right woman to come along and cement for me that that’s what I really wanted. See, you do have to test the waters. You have to date women. You have to find to out what you want. And you know what? So must she. You have to have options at the time you meet E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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her and she has to have options at the time she meets you. Nobody desperate, ironically enough, is ready for a successful monogamous relationship. Isn’t that a wild thought? Exactly the people you think would be craving a monogamous relationship the most are the ones who are most unfit because they are not choosing their mate from a position of having options. They’re taking the first person who is going to come along if they’re desperate. You must have options at the time you meet a woman who is going to be someone you’re happy with in a monogamous relationship, and you’ve got to willfully decide to forsake the other options in your life. You must mark that moment indelibly in your memory, or else you’ll waffle incessantly. The “green grass” effect is only cured when you’ve hiked through all the meadows and pastures you can handle and you have convinced yourself in a very real and meaningful way that the one woman you are with is more interesting to you at any given time than any other woman…and you’ve tested the principle over time. Then and only then do you enter into a monogamous relationship expecting it to last. You’ve got to make sure you’re old enough to not risk becoming a different person over time either. When you’re 19 or 20 years old, you could be a completely different person by the time you’re 25. If you’re a little bit older, that’s less likely. When you’re with a woman and you’re thinking she maybe the one who you’re going to be able to be monogamous with for the rest of your life, you’ve got to make sure that the sum of your individual parts is multiplied rather than added when you’re together. You’re not just two people who are pretty good when you’re together. As a team, you’re better than you were as individuals. Your lives are enriched in every single way when you’re together, not just sexually. You can’t have a monogamous relationship that is successful over time that’s build purely out of sex. At the end of the day, once you’ve had sex with a woman ten times or so, you’ll know your way around her and the pure novelty will no longer be an issue. The woman who thrills you must be someone you truly enjoy pleasing, not simply for the sake of sexual pleasure in and of itself, but as a mind-blowingly intimate component representative of your complete full lives together. Complete trust, complete openness, no insecurity--it equals a great life and it equals great sex. What I have shared with you is the secret to not only knowing that you know that you know that it’s time to spend the rest of your life with this one person and making that decision from a position of strength, like I always talk about, but also being able to go forth together as a couple--as a team--knowing that you’ve got a fulfilling life ahead of you. What about eliminating gold diggers? You know, there are a lot of guys out there that think, “Oh, women only want our money, and if you’re not a rich guy, no women want you.” Well, women do want a man who can provide. But you’re differentiating a woman who takes from a woman who shares, and you’re differentiating a woman who understands the power of a man’s ambition and his plan--which is often characterized by money--versus a woman who is just shallow enough to want to take and get a bunch of things that money can buy. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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The woman you’re looking for may want a man who can provide. That’s kind of hardwired into women just like men are hardwired to like attractive women, you know, in terms of their physical looks. But you want a woman, like I said, who shares. She gives willingly, even as she graciously accepts from you with a genuine gratitude. Manipulation, in other words, “If you loved me, then you’d give me this”, lack of reciprocation and giving--especially backed by those unkept promises in that regard. You keep giving and giving to her and she says, “You know, I’m planning something really great for your birthday and when it comes around, I want to give it to you.” Then your birthday comes around and she conveniently forgot. And she gave you, I don’t know, a CD or something, right? If you say, “Look, you know, you never give anything,” and she goes, “Oh, I gave you this and I gave you that,” and both of them were about 29 cents and the last thing you gave her was a Mustang convertible… If she has got an entitlement mentality--in other words, you “owe” her something--all of those are warning signs. You’re looking for a woman who is grateful. You’re looking for a woman who graciously accepts your gifts and she gives back to you. Don’t forgive this stuff because she is hot either. Most of all, do not lead by example. Bestowing crazy amounts of gifts and generally blowing a lot of cash. You know, you’ve heard women are turned off by being “bought,” and when the guy is trying to impress with stuff, they aren’t very inherently interested. They kind of come of as Mr. Nice guy, right? Well, given that we’re taught time and again how buying women and giving them flowers and lobster dinners doesn’t work, you could pretty much extrapolate logically to say that if she still is interested in you after all that, she is in it for the personal gain. As with so many other areas we’ve discussed here, it’s leadership. You know, I truly believe that most of us as guys really do want to provide for a woman. We want to be her provider. It’s kind of hardwired for us to want to do that, right? Because women are hardwired to find a guy is a provider. But while you’re leading a woman in a way that shows you can and will provide, you can’t tolerate her purely selfish intentions. Big difference. Now, a lot of guys out there are looking at the divorce rate--over half of the marriages will end that way--and saying to themselves, “You know it’s unreasonable for me to expect that I’m not going to just end up divorced. She’s not going to leave me, things are going to end with us angry and hating each other…why even bother to build a relationship with a woman?” You know, this is a point that entire books and extensive multi-hour programs have been devoted to, so I’m not going to pretend to cover it fully here. Still, I’d be remiss not to mention it in the context of what’s perceived as unrealistic expectations nowadays. Now, this may sound strange, but I believe that the time to prevent your divorce is before you’re married. Take time with a woman. Don’t jump into something. Measure your overall E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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compatibility. Be half of a great relationship. If you’ve got unresolved issues that you’ve got to get through before you can trust any woman, before you can believe any woman is going to be good to you… If what were talking about in any way, shape, or form today doesn’t resonate with you and you just can’t get past it, you’re going to have to. Otherwise, you’re not one-half of a great relationship. You’ve also got to choose a woman who is also one-half of a great relationship. She has got to like men. She’s got to have love to give, right? Don’t excuse red flags--especially if you don’t have options and she’s really, really hot. Not idealistically dismissing true incompatibility, right? That’s very, very important because if you’re not really getting along already, you’re not going to magically get along later after you’re married or after you’re together for a long time. You’re going to have to figure out whether your desire to have kids being not so strong and her desire to have kids being strong, or vice versa, is really something that’s going to be able to be resolved over time as you’re married. If you’re still young and you’re a guy, you may say, “Wow, you know what, fatherhood really creeps me out right now.” But can you see yourself being a father to this woman’s children by the time you’re 28, 29, 30, or maybe a little older? You’ve got to figure that stuff out before you sign an indelible agreement to be husband and wife. Now, as I mentioned in the book, Deserve What You Want, it’s really rare that two high-quality people divorce. Someone seems always to be in violation of the covenant in one way or another except in rare instances. So, getting your house in order ahead of time and making solid choices equals a much better game plan for success here and simple pessimism, which is just likely a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you’re marriage is doomed before you even ever get married, you’re probably be right. Meanwhile, if you’re doing what it takes to deserve what you want, if you’re becoming the kind of man who has something to offer a woman, if you’re good to her, if you’re a provider, if you’re talking about being the kind of guy who can attract her--the guy who’s got the “Big Four” going on--then you’re going to deserve a woman who is a flexible giver like my friend Doc Love, would say. …Who isn’t a gold digger, who thinks the best of you, will support you in your ambition and do things like come rub your back and give you a cup of coffee when you’re playing audio programs, right? Now, the last area we’re going to cover because I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about it, of course, is sex. I do want to mention that I am not a sex therapist. I do recommend Alex Allman and his excellent book, Revolutionary Sex, so that you can learn everything you could possibly want to learn about this and you can grab a copy of that at www.deservewhatyouwant.com/sex. But you know, in keeping with what were talking about here, a lot of guys’ wildest expectations are sexual ones, so I wanted to address this. Especially since a lot of guys think that what they fantasize about most really is impossible, so I want to debunk that. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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In the first point in that regard is that you can’t really get as much as you want, when you want it, and have her willingly give it to you. Well, there is a very, very distinct series of key ways to make a woman in your life all about giving you sexual pleasure and all about bringing sexual fulfillment to both of you, actually. The first key is you never pressure her. You never humiliate her either. You don’t injure her-God forbid--and you don’t frighten her or creep her out. Above all, you don’t creep her out. You keep yourself in shape and you focus on her needs first. I mean, consider this, if you’re pressuring a woman when she doesn’t want to have sex, if you’re making her feel like a slut or a whore when she does have sex, if you’re doing things that she says “oww, that hurts” to and you don’t stop, and you’re doing things that make you appear like a different person in the bedroom or she thinks like her personal safety is at stake, you’re going to take a woman who may have had some ability to enjoy sex in the past and you’re going to chase all that away. You’ve got to take care of her in the bedroom and you’re never going to be locked out. Women are sexual creatures. You’ve got to help her enjoy that sex and you do it by putting her needs first. You take care of her. Do what pleasures her. The other main point here is that if you’re not sex-focused and can go without, then she cannot use sex against you as a weapon. Think about that for a second. Women say, “Yeah, you know what, unless you give me what I want, you’re not going to get any.” I’m reminded of the joke about the couple who was on their honeymoon. And he is a big old guy and he has married a petite woman. And he takes off his big size 48 pants and he goes, “Here, try to put these pants on.” And the woman tries to fit her tiny self into the huge pants and announces, “Well, I can’t possibly fit into these pants.” He goes, “Yeah, that’s right, don’t you ever try to think that you can wear the pants in this family.” So, his wife kind of turns up her nose, raises an eyebrow and throws her underwear at him. And she says, “Here, try this on.” And so the guy takes her panties and he can’t get them any further than his ankles and goes, “Well, I can’t get into your panties.” And she goes, “Yeah, and you never will until you change your attitude.” A woman shouldn’t be able to use sex a weapon against you. And she can’t if you’re not focused on “getting some”, right? If it’s a partnership and you’ve set a precedent that way, and it gets established that way that sex is something you do together--it’s all about her enjoyment--then she’ll never be able to use that in a power struggle with you. And by the way, don’t do that to her either. You know, kind of like if you watched the old “Three’s a Company” shows with Mr. and Mrs. Roper where she always wanted some and he was always, you know, trying to not “get some”. You should have a partnership. Sex should not be something that is used as a bargaining chip. And if you can successfully eliminate that mindset from your relationship with a woman, then you’re going to be that much closer to getting as much as you want when you want it. But the key always--always--is taking care of her needs first. E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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How about getting her to perform oral sex? All the guys are like “Man, you know, women just don’t like to do it, and it’s a myth that women really, really just love to do it.” Well, guess what guys? There are women out there who really do enjoy it, and I would say the vast majority of them inherently enjoy it. Again, this is not about not pressuring her, literally or figuratively. You know, you don’t grab the back of her head and make her suck on you. You don’t do it. And you don’t tell her, “Hey look, either you give me a head or you know I’m not going to like you anymore,” and make her feel like she’s got to do it. Another thing you do is you stay clean, if you really want oral sex from your woman. Maybe you’ve got to do a little bit of “manscaping” down there so that she will feel more comfortable. You must keep promises not to ejaculate in her mouth if she is scared of you ejaculating in her mouth. If you violate that trust, you’re not going be getting what you want much anymore from the woman, are you? You’ve got to understand that women generally find it distasteful because of previous negative experiences or because they find it demeaning. Have you ever thought about it that way? So, don’t demand that she kneel before you with her mouth open like you saw in porn movies. Make sure she knows she is giving you incredible pleasure and that you’re honoring her for it, right? We talked about that before. Allow her to choose which position she is comfortable in, then make sure you perform mind-blowing oral sex on her. If you set the climate, if you set the precedent, she will often come around to reciprocating--especially if you’re not forcing her. The key is to be careful and patient. Some women have had very traumatic experiences here. If you’ve been one of the guys handing out traumatic experiences to women, then it could be why you think all women hate giving oral sex. But it couldn’t further from the truth. Finally, let’s talk about bisexual women and finding girls for your threesomes. Well, you already know by now that I am not a guy who necessarily is into dating bisexual women myself or having threesomes. It has never really been my style. But I want to go ahead and let you guys know that even when it comes to something this preposterous, there are guys out there making it happen all the time. And I’ll tell you how they do it. It’s a matter, first of all, of being sure it’s what you want. A lot of times a guy will say, “Man, this is my fantasy,” and then if they’re actually faced with the reality, they’re like, “Oh my gosh, what do I do? This is really awkward. Is this really what I wanted?” In your mind, you’ve got to say, “Look, are threesomes and dating a bisexual woman—either/or, both/and--what I want?” Right? First thing. Next--and this is a really important secret--it’s a matter of avoiding judgment at all cost. Look, if you inherently have something against lesbians, it isn’t going to happen for you. Now, see, a lot of women are bisexual. Wow! It’s really, really true. I mean, when I was dating, they E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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were dropping hints. And sometimes they’re not even subtle ones, mostly because I wasn’t judgmental towards them and I wasn’t really demanding it of them. I wasn’t the one dropping the hints. So a woman would say, “Oh, you know that girl over there? She’s hot,” or she’d might say, “If I was a guy, I’d do her.” …Maybe without the “if I was a guy” part even. One woman said to me, “Sometimes girl on girl porn turns me on.” Well, that was a pretty clear sign. Watch how a woman hugs other women. Full body-to-body contact is not usually what happens when women aren’t bisexual. That’s a pretty strong sign. Women hug each other differently, as far as their female friends go, when they’re not bisexual compared to when they are. A woman is going to want to know that you approve of her bisexuality. Any hesitation or any judgmental hint will kill it for you on the spot. The guys who routinely are going out with bisexual women are encouraging it. They’re proud of their women for it. A woman may still go out with you if you don’t approve of her bisexuality, but you’ll never know for sure if she was or not. Isn’t that interesting? Instead when you start hints from a woman, encourage her to talk more and be honest. It’s all about her security, once again, as always. Don’t pressure her to go get women for you. It’s just like the oral sex thing. Pressure is an attraction killer. And don’t tell her that you automatically assume that she is going to engage in threesomes with you. Accept her bisexuality. Look for hints for more later, and proceed on the same way. Lather, rinse, repeat. The more she feels comfortable with you, the more comfortable she is going to be and having the threesome that she wants, and engaging in a lifestyle that you will be ready for with her. Adore her womanhood--and hers first at all times. Even if you do get threesomes with a woman who is bisexual, if you get into this kind of relationship, you always have got to adore that woman first. Now that, of course, was probably the bombshell of the whole lot here. But as you can see, there are a lot of things guys think are impossible and I’ve just laid out for you guys exactly how they can be made to be possible. We’re about having your dreams fulfilled around here. We’re about you going from a guy who had moderate success with women to completely eliminating the obstacles in the past and becoming a guy who is wildly successful with women, in complete control of his dating life, and leading the kind of life you want with great women in it. So, that about wraps it up. It has been a pleasure talking to you guys as always, and until I do so again this is Scot McKay for X & Y Communications and The Leading Man relationship management system. Be good.

E-mail Scot McKay: [email protected] For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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