How To End Phobias, Anxiety & Panic
by
Bryan M. Knight, MSW, PhD.
Copyright©2004 Bryan M. Knight rd
3 edition All rights reserved
published by The Chessnut Press
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Contents
What is a phobia?
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Simple phobias
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Complex phobias
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Purposeless phobias
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Purposeful phobias
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“Just having a panic attack”
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Role of Anxiety
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Symptom Relief
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Some common phobias
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Five Solutions
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Self-Help Cure
33
About Dr Bryan Knight
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Resources
40
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What is a phobia? A phobia is an irrational anxiety about a person, place or thing, which:
is out of proportion to any actual danger, cannot be reasoned or explained away, appears silly to the sufferer, but cannot be voluntarily controlled, and leads to avoidance of what is feared.
There are simple phobias and complex phobias. Simple phobias are those that focus on a single person, place or thing. Often the sufferer simply avoids the feared object, (e.g., an elevator). Simple phobias usually start with a traumatic incident, such as being stuck in an elevator. They are the easiest type of phobia to overcome. Complex phobias are those that focus on several objects. And interfere with the life of the sufferer. A complex phobia might, for instance, include fear of heights, fear of flying, fear of escalators, fear of museums containing aeroplanes, even fear of magazines containing photographs of planes. To overcome a complex phobia with traditional therapeutic methods – including hypnotherapy -- usually requires uncovering its root cause(s). However, you may find relief (permanently) by using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) about which more later.
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Simple Phobias A simple phobia, i.e., one which is focused on a single feared object such as spiders or computers, often has little impact on your life and thus rarely calls for treatment. If you are terrified of the ocean but live in the mid-West, you may never have to face your fear; should you see an ocean on television you can swiftly change the channel. Dr S is a surgeon who had a life-long phobia of cats. He was generally able to avoid contact with cats. He would cross the street if he saw one of the dreaded creatures coming his way. He would steer away from stores, restaurants, any places where he knew there would be a cat. In all other ways life was fruitful for Dr S. Until the day his best friend excitedly reported over the phone that he’d brought home a pair of kittens for his daughter. The surgeon began to make excuses not to visit the friend. This was very tricky, especially since their respective wives and children were also friends. Finally, Dr S had to confess his fear of cats. The friends could not understand but they valued the friendship enough to do as Dr S requested: before he came for a visit, they locked up the kittens, now grown to full-sized cats, in their spare room. After a while Dr S became more and more embarrassed about his phobia. His nine-year-old daughter Sofia also developed a fear of cats. This bothered her best friend (Dr S’s daughter) who wanted Sofia to enjoy the cats as much as she did. Eventually, Dr S decided to conquer his phobia. Feeling silly, but determined, he made an appointment with a hypnotherapist. Dr S proved to have an excellent talent for hypnosis. Three sessions were all the hypnotherapist needed to help Dr S get over his fear.
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The first session of hypnosis was used to uncover the cause of the doctor’s phobia (at four he had been badly mauled by a cat, something he had entirely forgotten); in the second session the hypnotherapist used behavioural techniques to enable the doctor to approach cats (in his imagination); the third session was devoted to supportive therapy with positive imaging and posthypnotic suggestions. Dr S was encouraged to actually touch his friend’s cats in real life. To his friend’s delight, that is exactly what Dr S did. The doctor was ecstatic. And the cats were free to roam the house normally. But little Sofia was still scared. So her father brought her to the hypnotherapist. She was so responsive (children are usually excellent at hypnosis because of their rich fantasy lives of make-believe) that only one session was required to enable her to be as comfortable playing with the cats as was her friend.
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Complex phobias Very often an unchecked phobia spreads to more and more situations. Thus the life of a phobic person becomes ever more constricted.
A germ phobia, for example, could ultimately lead to the phobic person existing in one highly-scrubbed room with a very restricted intake of (supposedly germ-free) food and drink. Or a person might be phobic, for instance, of driving across a bridge. Then he becomes phobic of even looking at a photograph of a bridge, so then he avoids books with photographs of bridges and movies because there might be a bridge image, so he begins to avoid bookstores and movie houses. In addition the man begins to avoid streets near bridges. Then highways because somewhere along their length they might include a bridge. And on and on. If your life, like that of an estimated 16 million Americans, is restricted because you’re too anxious
to drive, or to fly in a plane, or to take an elevator, or to lie on a beach, or to wash your hair, or to enter a restaurant, or to use a public toilet, or to undergo surgery, or to pick up a telephone, or to shake hands with a stranger, or to even leave your home,
you know what misery and frustration a phobia can cause.
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Drugs can certainly calm you down, perhaps sedate you enough so you can drag yourself onto that plane, or across the bridge.
But beneath the chemical calm, the fear lives on.
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Purposeless Phobias There are two kinds of phobias: purposeless and purposeful.
Purposeless phobias are learned. They start with:
trauma, or teaching.
The case of Dr S is an example of a purposeless phobia which arose from a trauma (being attacked by a cat). His daughter Sofia’s case is an example of a purposeless phobia that arose from teaching (her father’s example taught her to fear cats). Purposeless phobias succumb quickly to hypnotherapy. When the cause is known (as with Dr S and his daughter) the client is taught to relax while imagining similar — but now positive and self-controlled — scenes to what really happened. If the cause is not known, hypnosis if first used to uncover the origin of the phobia. Behavioural techniques are employed to conquer a purposeless phobia that has been learned by someone teaching the client, as in the case of Sofia (“modelling” is the term used by therapists).
This means that while the client is in hypnosis she is gradually exposed to the feared object. This is, of course, in the client’s imagination. Then the client is encouraged to face the fear in real life. To cure any kind of phobia requires a change in the thinking of the phobic. Negative self-hypnosis has reinforced the phobia, sometimes over many years.
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For example, “If I enter the swimming pool I’ll faint and drown. Probably the chlorine in the water is poisonous and in any case the water’s bound to be too hot [too cold, too crowded, too deep . . .”]. Such irrational thoughts are replaced in therapy by rational thoughts. The more positive, the better. For example,
“I’ve swum safely in the pool before. There is an alert lifeguard. I am an excellent swimmer.”
The most widespread phobia is fear of public speaking . Perhaps this phobia is so common because most of us are brought up to blend in, to conform. When called upon to give a speech, we are thrust into the limelight: perhaps we will not measure up, perhaps we won’t be liked! Most people who endure a phobia unwittingly help to keep it alive by filling their minds with negative “what ifs.” It’s important to remove these negative “what if?” thoughts that feed anxiety and panic. Why not change them to positive “what ifs”! Instead of “what if the plane crashes” to “what if the plane arrives safely”. Instead of “what if they laugh at me” to “what if they love my speech.” Instead of “what if I drown” to “what if I learn to swim.” A social phobic who lacks self-confidence could benefit from the Psychovisual Therapy hypnotic video called, (what else?) “Self-Confidence.”
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The video provides information on conscious and subconscious levels. It can make the difference for a social phobic eager to conquer his or her irrational fear. Because, ultimately, the solution to social phobia is to face the fear. Doing so brings immense rewards. I can barely begin to describe the pleasure I now enjoy when giving a public talk. It’s so fantastic to stand in front of a crowd, impart useful information to them, have a few laughs, and learn from the questions and comments of the audience. I vividly remember the first time this happened. I was scheduled to give a speech at a large convention of hypnotists in the U.S. There were a dozen or so competing seminars offered at the same time so I thought probably 6 or so hypnotists would choose my session. When I located the room in which I was to speak I had to fight my way in, there were so many people trying to enter. To my amazement, not only was the room packed with hypnotists, (I stopped counting at 103) but video cameras had been installed! Well, I used the advice on the “Self-Confidence” video, took a slow deep breath, and on breathing out, said, “This is easy.” And it was! Since then I’ve given talks wherever and whenever I can. So I know that social phobia can be beaten! As the cliché has it: if I can do it, so can you.
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Purposeful Phobias These are paradoxical. Their purpose is to divert attention from a psychological conflict within a person. Yet their presence is a clear sign that conflict exists. The inner conflict may or may not be consciously known to the sufferer. The phobia acts as a diversion. While you concentrate on your fear of whatever, you are diverted from something else which some part of you considers too terrifying to look at. Purposeful phobias often are mechanisms to avoid issues of
betrayal, abandonment, non-acceptance.
Unlike purposeless phobias, there are often secondary gains for the phobic. These commonly involve
attention, exemption, and control.
Attention to the phobic (“poor little Jamie; he doesn’t feel well enough to go to school, let’s tuck him up in bed and give him his favourite candy”) brings the secondary reward of comfort, of being the centre of consideration. Exemption brings secondary rewards of freedom from responsibility (“Be nice to Harry; you know he doesn’t drive, why can’t you give him a ride, it’s only a few blocks out of your way”). Control is the key to the cause and the conquering of phobias.
Phobia sufferers display:
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fear of loss of control, control of other people through helplessness, control of overt fear through avoidance, control of deeper fear or inner conflict.
Control by Jamie and Harry is partly conscious, partly subconscious. They enjoy control of family members, as demonstrated by the attention and exemption. At the same time they exercise a degree of control over their fear (of school, or of driving). In addition, there is the subconscious control over whatever is being avoided by the focus on the phobia. Sometimes the feared situation has an element within it which provided the seed of fear; more often the feared situation has no discernible roots to the deeper, avoided fear. Jamie, for instance, may be terrified of leaving home, and Mom: if he goes to school perhaps that means Mom wants to be rid of him, maybe she won’t be there when he comes home. So it is not school which scares Jamie; it’s being abandoned by Mom. Likewise, Harry may be scared of independence, of all that is symbolised in our society by the automobile. It may seem safer to Harry to avoid the test of being grown up. Both Jamie and Harry, of course, are unaware of these underground emotions: their conscious minds are aware only of their respective fear of school and disinterest in driving. Boston resident Pamela wanted to fly with her husband to Europe. He made frequent business trips to Belgium and always invited her to accompany him. But she was too scared. Pamela was also frightened to ride in an elevator, or to go to the local mall alone.
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She even found it hard to go into her own back garden. Her little son and daughter, and of course, her husband, tolerated Pamela’s fears but family tensions were rising. Since the family lived in a quiet suburb this meant someone had to drive her, or accompany her on the rare public bus, wherever she needed to go. It also meant that unless Phil, her husband, was available to go with her, she never attended school functions. Raised as a devout churchgoer, Pamela now rarely went to church. She spoke in a whispery voice, stood with rounded shoulders and downcast eyes. When she began hypnotherapy Pamela barely spoke. She did manage to say that she was afraid Phil would get tired of her phobias, and leave. Pamela couldn’t understand why he’d stuck around as long as he had. Their honeymoon had been a disaster: because of her phobias they’d driven to a lake resort 400 miles away, rather than flown to Hawaii, Phil’s first choice. But no sooner had they arrived than Pamela was filled with dread and insisted Phil immediately drive back. Now it was nine years later. Nothing had improved. Although she dearly loved her children both births had been terrifying ordeals for Pamela. Phil brought her to a psychotherapist. Pamela told him how fearful she was and how annoyed she was with herself, especially about being too fearful to travel. “And my father is a long-distance truck driver.” That was the first clue for the therapist. When Pamela described the rest of her family of origin, the underlying conflicts became transparent. Her brother shared similar fears. Both only felt really safe and relaxed when with their mother.
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The mother was practically house-bound, and very bitter. Pamela’s father, the truck driver, had never been faithful, was rarely in town, let alone at home. Pamela and her brother grew up feeling a heavy responsibility for their mother, who was subject to fits of hysteria and panic. They also felt resentment and hostility toward their absent father. Sure enough, when the therapist employed hypnosis to examine the origins of Pamela’s fears, concern for her mother was paramount. Like the over-responsible little girl she still was inside, Pamela could only feel safe when she knew her mother was safe. But at the same time, Pamela deeply resented this responsibility. There was an invisible string connecting Pamela to her mother. She was the yo-yo being yanked back whenever the mother chose. Rational-Emotive Therapy (an approach that teaches how to use your thoughts to control your feelings) was used in and outside of hypnosis to help Pamela clarify her thinking.
Hypnotherapy was also used to strengthen Pamela’s resolve, to build her self-confidence, and to enable her to conquer her phobias one by one. The first significant sign of progress was when Pamela appeared on her own in the therapist’s office. “I took the elevator by myself,” she announced proudly. From then on, small steps multiplied. Pamela began to walk to the mall alone. She asserted herself with her mother. She took the bus alone, or with the children. She took driving lessons. For each of these steps appropriate hypnotherapy gave her the confidence to draw upon the resources that for so long had lain dormant within her. When Pamela passed the driving test Phil gave her a car as a reward. Then the therapist worked with her to help Pamela overcome her fear of driving across bridges.
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One evening she arrived eager to report that she had not only driven, fear-free, across a bridge but across the worst one in the area: a noisy, ramshackle former railroad span. Phil and Pamela took a practice flight to a city an hour’s flying time away. Again (following the enjoyable imagined experience in hypnosis and post-hypnotic suggestions) Pamela felt again the wonderfully pleasant surge of accomplishment. She was no longer trapped by underlying guilt about abandoning her mother and hating her father. A few months later, the psychotherapist responded to a knock on his door. When he opened it there stood a glamorous woman, head high, grin great, posture upright, handshake firm, voice strong. Pamela! The therapist had not recognized her, so changed was she from the mousy, fear-ridden person who’d come for help the year before.
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“Just having a panic attack” A client wrote:
“I’m terrified something awful is happening to me. Almost every day I become really scared. I shiver, my chest hurts, my throat goes dry, I feel dizzy, faint and frightened for fifteen or twenty minutes of hell. When this happens I feel sure I’m going insane, or I’m going to die. My doctor says there’s nothing wrong, that I’m “just” having a panic attack. She wouldn’t be so complacent if this happened to her! How can this be ‘just in my head’?” The pharmaceutical companies would like you to believe that panic attacks arise from something biological … and therefore can be fixed with a pill. But if a “chemical imbalance” triggers your panic attack, what triggers the “chemical imbalance”? And if you are continually imbalanced chemically, then why are you not suffering continuous panic? The reason is, of course, that the panic attack gives rise to the chemical imbalance, not the other way around. And the surge of chemicals subsides. So what is it that brings on an attack? Almost anything. Yet something which is significant to your subconscious. This may be a thought, a smell, a sight or a sensation (e.g., the touch of velvet which triggers a subconscious memory of feeling abandoned at age four when your velvet-clad mother accidentally left you behind for an hour in the church at Aunt Susanna’s wedding). Once the cue has been thought, smelled, seen, touched, tasted or heard, your body reacts. It automatically replays the emotions you experienced the first time.
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Although you do not necessarily consciously remember feeling abandoned (for example) the fear is stored in your subconscious. Your body has its own storehouse of memories. When a particular negative experience is thus recalled, the autonomic response of the body is also recalled. This is the adrenaline rush. Our bodies have a built-in reflex that served our ancestors well. Whenever they were faced with danger—a sabre-toothed tiger about to spring on them, or an avalanche bearing down—their bodies would automatically prepare to run or to fight. All temporarily unneeded bodily functions would shut down. Energy would be concentrated where it was most needed. Adrenaline would be pumped swiftly to increase the heart rate which in turn caused the lungs to gulp more air as the legs tensed for running away or the arms tensed to do battle. We still have this automatic response to danger. But instead of tigers, we fear rejection, embarrassment, failure, shame, disappointment, etc. And we neither fight nor run. However, as we stay still, anxiety causes that rush of adrenaline which in turn causes us to
breathe rapidly, tense our muscles, increase our heart rate, and feel sick to out stomachs.
In other words, we panic. A panic attack is often your body’s way of sending an urgent signal that something in your life needs to be fixed. Like phobias, the cause may be conscious or subconscious. Since the symptoms resemble organic illnesses, it is of course sensible to have a medical check-up to make sure your chest
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pains are not a sign of heart trouble, or your sweaty palms a sign of a thyroid disorder. Involuntary shaking, shivering and light-headedness might be signs of a neurological problem — or a result of ingesting too much caffeine. But if medical causes are ruled out, then your panic attack points to an emotional or psychological issue. Undealt with, the attacks usually multiply in frequency and intensity. The unpredictable timing of panic attacks leads to a fear of fear . A panic attack is absolutely dreadful. Someone who has not experienced the terror cannot understand. When a panic attack strikes you feel sure you are going to die, or go insane.
If your first panic attack strikes you in a shopping mall the fear of being embarrassed and humiliated by another attack may cause you to avoid that mall. Then you begin to fear that an attack may hit you if you go to a different mall, so you avoid that, too. If you subsequently suffer an attack in an independent fruit store you’ll avoid that shop in future but perhaps you’ll also start to fear any shop that sells fruit, for fear of another attack hitting you. Eventually you could end up trapped at home, afraid to venture anywhere, just in case.
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The Role of Anxiety Anxiety is the fuel that keeps the cycle of panic and phobia running. Worrying about what might happen – “Will I be embarrassed in the restaurant?” “Will I have chest pains if I go out with him?” “Will I again be unable to pee in the public washroom?” – is called anticipatory anxiety. Anxiety often strikes suddenly. It is composed of emotional symptoms:
Fear Dread Apprehension
and the physical symptoms of:
rapid breathing shakiness heart pounding dizziness wet hands stomach upset shivers
When consumed by anxiety our thoughts are completely focussed on the anxiety. Normal logical thought vanishes. Why do we feel anxious? Because we allow our vulnerability to overwhelm us. And we do that by overestimating danger and underestimating our coping ability. The classic example is the phobia of public speaking. If you’re afraid of talking in front of a group you’ll likely expect the
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group to laugh at you and that no amount of preparation will be good enough. This, of course, adds to your anxiety. And the wish to avoid similar situations in the future. Thus is the phobia strengthened. Since you feel relieved – and safe -- when you avoid public speaking there is an automatic reinforcement of the phobia. Some people’s avoidance behaviour leads to further problems such as addiction. This happens when a phobic turns to alcohol, for example, to deaden the anxiety. Before long, he or she can’t give a speech without the alcoholic sedation. Or fly without pills.
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Symptom Relief When you are attacked by anxiety, phobia or panic, here’s how to counteract the symptoms. a. Slow, deep breathing. b. Thought-stopping. When you breathe slowly and deeply it is physiologically impossible to be anxious. You can prove this to yourself right now. Let’s first do the opposite. Take many shallow breaths as quickly as you can. What’s the result? Anxiety, panic, nervousness. Perhaps even a panic attack. No, I’m not being cruel. You’ve just demonstrated to yourself that you can -- simply by breathing badly -- create the symptoms of anxiety. Logic dictates that if you do the opposite, i.e., breathe well, your body will be calm. You’ll feel physically relaxed instead of panicky. Do it now. Breathe s-l-o-w-l-y and d-e-e-p-l-y. This means breathing in through your nose as slowly as you can for as long as you can, holding that breath, and s-l-o-w-l-y releasing the air through your mouth. When breathing in, allow the air to go all the way to your stomach. Breathing only as far as your chest won’t relax you. One way to be sure you are really breathing slowly and deeply enough is to count to 5 slowly on each intake and outtake. Plus, you might want to count to 5 while holding the air in. Please note that this breathing exercise will likely require practice. Phobic and anxious people are so habituated to breathing quickly and shallowly that effort is required to change the habit.
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Thought Stopping
Just as it sounds, this technique is designed to stop negative thoughts. The process is simple, the results profound. Here is the step-by-step process: 1. Choose an image that makes you smile (e.g., a baby’s face, a sunrise, a clown). 2. Choose an image that signifies “STOP”. (Could be a Stop sign, a policeman’s hand, a traffic red light; whatever has meaning for you.) 3. When a negative thought occurs – e.g., “I’m going to faint if I have to dissect that rat” immediately imagine your STOP image. 4. Now for the key point: Immediately “see” the image you chose in Step 1. Thought-stopping by this method clearly requires that you are able to “see”, or at least sense, images in your head. Not everyone can. If you are more oriented to hearing or to touching, then adapt the process accordingly. There’s no need for formality. No need to close your eyes. (Unless you want to). You can use thought-stopping anywhere, anytime. The process can be going on in the back of your head, so to speak, as you approach the airport’s departure lounge, or the podium from which you’re about to deliver a fear-free speech.
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Some Common Phobias There are hundreds of phobias. Here are a few: Agoraphobia:
One of the most common phobias, agoraphobia affects women far more than men (roughly two-thirds of sufferers are female). Literally the fear of open spaces, agoraphobia is better known as the fear of being alone in a crowd, or in any place such as a theatre or a church or a shopping centre where escape might appear to be difficult. Such avoidance behaviour can lead to agoraphobia’s extreme effect: the trapping of a person in her home. The phobia may come on suddenly or develop slowly. Intimately connected with panic attacks, agoraphobia is at root an attempt to avoid the uncertainty of where next a panic attack might strike. So you avoid the mall, or the street where you endured a previous panic attack, in order to feel safe. Social Phobia:
This is the unreasonable fear of being embarrassed in social situations. Some people with social phobia are afraid to speak in public. Others cannot eat or drink or urinate in the presence of other people. Many social phobics are frightened of being introduced to new people. Many are too scared to go for a job interview, or to apply for a promotion if it means being questioned by a couple of bosses. Social phobia can ruin careers. A lawyer who has to avoid court appearances, a salesperson who feels unable to enter a mall, or a car leaser who is terrified of signing contracts in public, are all at risk.
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Social phobia can not only block your advancement on the job, but prevent you from having fun. Fear of meeting new people can lead to searing loneliness. One of the worst aspects of this irrational fear is that other people don’t take it seriously. In social situations you may blush, shake, tremble, sweat, and feel your heart beat fast or your stomach turn over, or your skin go hot and cold. If you do pluck up the courage to tell someone about these symptoms, they’ll likely tell you to “snap out of it”, or “pull yourself together.” Men often respond to such stupid advice by ingesting drugs or alcohol to give themselves an artificial boost of courage. Women often respond by withdrawing from social situations even further, ending up housebound and depressed. Both male and female social phobics tend to condemn themselves. Often they feel inferior to other people, fear rejection, refrain from asserting themselves, and are highly sensitive to criticism. Thus they continuously worry about what other people think of them. They usually hide this narcissism so successfully that other people are often astonished when a social phobic reveals how fearful she or he is. Social phobia can lead to panic attacks which lead to anxiety which leads to further panic and the spreading of the phobia.
And the whole vicious circle is fuelled with anticipatory anxiety. That is, the anxiety about what might happen brings on the panic and restricts you from improving your life.
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Social phobia begins with our upbringing (what else is new?). There may be family influences (“keep quiet; don’t embarrass the family”) or school pressures (“no, you can’t join our group”). Expectations by society can also play a role. Lip service is paid to individuality in the West, but conformity is generally what’s rewarded. (e.g., “Don’t rock the boat”). A traumatic experience can lead to social phobia. A child being humiliated by a teacher in front of a class, for instance. Or a woman being publicly scorned by her husband in a restaurant. A person can react to such events by avoiding similar situations, thus compounding the original humiliation. Often you don’t have a clear idea why you feel anxious. Some years ago, I was invited to a party. At the door of the apartment where the party was being held I raised my hand to knock. At that moment I heard laughter inside. Immediately I lowered my hand, turned around and went home. What was that? Fear of rejection? Feelings of inadequacy? Whatever it was, it ended when a colleague told me, “You’re still defining yourself as you used to be. Let your self-image catch up with reality. You’re on radio and television; you’re no longer the boy too scared to enter a restaurant.” That comment was a form of cognitive therapy, which simply means to change the way you think. (Social skills training, role-playing and participation in Toastmasters International are additional ways to combat social phobia.) Paruresis:
(Bashful Bladder – a.k.a. Shy Bladder) Paruresis is the inability to urinate in front of others.
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Many people suffer with this phobia. A possible 7% or 17 million Americans, according to one source. Not being able to pee in public (i.e., when someone else is present in the same room) can make for some excruciating experiences. Some men can only use the toilet where they live. Untreated, this can restrict the phobic person to a job within a short distance from home. Some male paruresis sufferers regularly use the stalls in men’s rooms. Others find themselves unable to pee even in the stalls. The problem becomes acute when the sufferer wants to travel – or produce a specimen for a drug test or medical exam. And although paruresis affects men more than women it is by no means exclusive to males. Or to heterosexuals. Sometimes considered to be a subset of social phobia, paruresis can strike at any age. Dentophobia:
Fear of dentists. I used to be terrified of dentists, and with good reason. Many years ago all the children in my school in England were required to undergo dentistry. We were lined up. One by one we went to the dentist’s chair. Those waiting would hear the drills and then watch kids stagger out of the dental room. We’d hear our classmates crying and throwing up in the nearby toilets. Too soon it was my turn. A slimy-feeling rubber mask with a vile smell was put over my mouth, gas was administered and the dentist did his work. Moments later I awoke. Blood and saliva swirled around my mouth and pain shot around my gums. Rinsing my mouth with tepid water didn’t seem to help much.
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Subsequent to this and similar experiences I was terrified of dentists – or rather, of dentistry -- for years. The so-called “laughing gas” was an absolute requirement for me to agree to receive any dental attention. Eventually I came across hypnosis. And a hypnotherapist who jovially pointed out to me that few hypnotherapists use their skills on themselves. Revelation! I resolved to use hypnotic techniques on myself. It was not long before self-hypnosis had me calm and reasonably relaxed about visiting the dentist. At the dentist, my body still sweats with the memory of those distant horrors [note to self: must use EFT to rid body of such reactions] but I’m pleased at how effective hypnosis has been in freeing me from dental phobia. Some other phobias
Chionophobia: fear of snow Emetophobia : fear of vomiting Frigophobia: fear of the cold Gamophobia: fear of marriage Genuphobia: fear of fear of knees Lyssophobia: fear of insanity Monophobia: fear of being alone Nyctophobia: fear of darkness Pathophobia: fear of disease Pogonophobia: fear of beards Scopophobia: fear of being stared at Taphophobia: fear of being buried alive Xenophobia: fear of the unknown Zoophobia: fear of animals. For a much larger list, go here: http://www.phobialist.com/
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Five Solutions (Medication is not included as a solution because although prescribed drugs can lower your anxiety, even enable you to face some otherwise terrifying situations they do nothing to relieve the underlying issues. And the side effects may be worse than the problem).
1. Cognitive Therapy
One of the standard treatments to reduce anxiety is to change the way the sufferer thinks. When you learn to think less catastrophically and more rationally your anxiety diminishes. And the more you practice realistic thinking the less anxious you are. Cognitive therapy is more than changing “what ifs.” It particularly addresses catastrophic thinking. A phobic person might view a chest pain as a sure sign of heart disease. A panic attack sufferer may be convinced he’ll lose his job because he’s too scared to fly. Characteristic of catastrophic thinking is that everything is seen as black or white. “They either love me or hate me.” “They’ll not hire me and that will be a disaster.” Such thoughts make things far worse, of course. Not only is the person’s life more and more shrinking to a narrow existence but anxiety and panic loom ever larger and stronger, eventually sliding the person into depression. One way to deal with such negative thinking is to consider what you’d really do if faced with the worst possible outcome, (e.g., not getting the job). After you realise that you could cope with the worst case scenario you could challenge yourself to think about the best case outcome! Following that, you are less anxious and now ready to plan for realistic outcomes. 29
2. Behaviour Therapy
A classic approach to ending phobias, along with the attendant anxiety and possible panic or anxiety attacks, is behaviour therapy. In essence, this consists of exposure to the feared object. You do this in small steps, moving on to the next step only when relaxed and comfortable enough with the earlier step. Known as “systematic desensitization”, this process eventually enables you to be completely unphobic about whatever it was that you used to avoid, such as spiders. It is not a pleasant procedure. But the boost to your self-esteem and self-control is well worth the temporary discomfort. (Guidance on how to choose a psychotherapist is available here: http://hypnosis.org/therapysite/how.htm A similar article about choosing the right hypnotherapist is available at my Hypnosis Headquarters site).
3. Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy builds on the opposite reflex to the flight-or-fight response that often paralyses the phobic person: relaxation. With hypnosis you can deal with both the cause of the phobia or panic attack (feeling abandoned at Aunt Susanna’s wedding) and the symptoms (shortness of breath, sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, etc.) Hypnotherapy changes the negative messages stored in your subconscious, freeing you from the power of the anxiety. During hypnotherapy you are awake and aware. You gain more self-control. The underlying cause for your phobia may be exposed while you are in hypnosis. The dual nature of phobias -- a distraction from an inner conflict and yet a signal that such a conflict exists -- is well illustrated by Rebecca’s experience:
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Rebecca sought hypnotherapy to deal with her fear of speaking at business meetings. She is intelligent, resourceful, imaginative and competent. Which is why Rebecca was in line to become a vice president at a prestigious company. However, her fear of speaking at staff meetings and her terror at speaking at company functions or at sales meetings with potential clients, threatened to block her advancement. In hypnosis Rebecca said her phobia served no purpose. But when she imagined being at the nearly all-male board meetings her subconscious indicated a different answer. Her fear was serving a purpose. The subconscious was asked to provide an image of what that purpose might be. Rebecca immediately saw her father and brother. What did this image mean to the subconscious? “They’re men; I’m a woman.” Out of hypnosis, Rebecca mentioned that she’d quit a previous executive position because she earned more than her husband and he couldn’t bear that. It became clear that her phobia both pointed to, and distracted her from, the notion that a woman should keep quiet in the presence of men. Something, it turned out, she’d learned through the unintentional behaviour of her father and brother. Only a little hypnotherapy was needed to rid Rebecca of that selfnegating notion. Positive suggestions cemented what her conscious mind already knew -- she had as much (in some cases more) right to speak as did her male colleagues.
4. Psychovisual Therapy [PsyV]
This self-help approach is available on hypnotic video and DVD. Two PsyV titles [http://hypnosis.org/kn-video.html] that can help you overcome panic attacks are “Stress Control” and “Relax & Let Go”. “Self-Confidence” has also proven useful when low selfesteem underlies a phobia. (I’m the distributor of these cost-effective DVDs and videos.)
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5. Emotional Freedom Techniques [EFT]
Swift relief is usually available — and permanent — w ith this approach. Very different to the t herapy techniques described above, Emotional Freedom Techniques are a form of acupuncture, without needles. Many psychotherapists and hypnotherapists are either adding EFT to their practices, or switching entirely to this combination of Western psychology and Chinese medicine. For full information, including examples of people erasing their phobias, click here: http://www.emofree.com
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Self-Help Cure You can put an end to your phobias, anxiety and panic attacks yourself. That’s because even without a therapist, you can combine the five solutions mentioned above. Your own personal, powerful antidote. This can result in you being p anic-free, relaxed and confident. Here’s how to cure yourself: First of all, recognise that the power to change lies with you . And no one else. The first step is to decide to be rid of whatever bothers you. The second is to accept that, one way or another, you’ll have to face the fear to overcome it. But, if you begin with Emotional Freedom Techniques you can at the least reduce anxiety and fear. And, at best, remove the phobia or panic foreve r. Go here for simple instructions on how to use EFT: http://homepages.which.net/~michael.millett/index-page69.html
Essential to success with EFT is that you zero in on what really bothers you. For instance, one person who fears to fly will say, “Even though I am terrified the plane will crash, I deeply a nd completely accept myself”, while another person will say, “Even though I feel I’m not in control, I deeply…” It’s also important to tap on each aspect that bothers you. So, for example, the people afraid to fly might also tap on “Even though I’m worried about panicking in the plane’s toilet, I deeply …”, or “Even though I’m concerned about the stale air, I deeply …” 33
It also helps (as with any method of change, including hypnosis) to add the element of choice to your self-statements. “Even though I’m scared to enter the mall, I choose to be calm, confident, relaxed and strong…” With or without EFT, essential to freeing yourself from fear and anxiety is to alter the way you think. We alluded above to stopping catastrophic thinking. Similarly, the anxiety-prone person engages in what Albert Ellis, the guru of Rational-Emotive Therapy, calls “mustobatory thinking.” Examples of such destructive thoughts are: I MUST know precisely why I’m feeling like this; I MUST be certain it’s not serious; I MUST never lose control or act crazily; I MUST not do something stupid or look foolish; I MUST have a guarantee I’m not going to die; I MUST not make myself panic. If you find yourself having MUST thoughts know that such extreme statements only serve to make you feel worse. Let go of the pressure of MUST thinking. You can do this with rational thought, and by re-programming your subconscious. To change your conscious negative thinking question your MUST thoughts in the same way you challenge your catastrophic thoughts. For instance, “I must not do something foolish or look stupid.” Tell yourself, “So what if I do something silly. It’s no big deal.” You can also remind yourself that most people are preoccupied with themselves – they don’t really care if you do something you think is foolish.
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While tapping with EFT, you’d challenge this fear with an affirmation like “Even though I’m afraid I’ll do something stupid or foolish, I deeply and completely accept myself.” With hypnosis you’d use a positive suggestion such as “I choose to enjoy letting go of upsetting thoughts.” Hypnosis is the way to re-program your subconscious.
Detailed instructions on how to use hypnosis to let go of anxiety and of fears that impede your life, are spelled out in my ebook , “Self-Hypnosis: Safe. Simple. Superb.” [http://hypnosis.org/self-hypnosis.html] How would you use behavioural techniques to change your fear of “doing something stupid or foolish”? You’d deliberately do something “stupid or foolish.” But start small. Remember the film “What About Bob?” in which Richard Dreyfuss plays the part of an inept psychiatrist? His patient takes literally Dreyfuss’ advice to “take baby steps.” That’s how you tackle the fear of doing something stupid or appearing foolish. If you are afraid of dancing, for example, you don’t just jump on a stage somewhere and perform in public. Create a list of what frightens you, from the least frightening to the most. For the dancing example, perhaps looking at photographs of dancers is the least anxiety-provoking. So you begin there. Use your slow-deep breathing and thought-stopping until you’re totally comfortable, then move up to the next item on your list. Perhaps that is reading biographies of dancers. Then you could take a class in the easiest form of dancing. Gradually work up to whatever kind of dancing you aspire to.
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Talking about dancing reminds me that I used to be much too shy to dance at social functions. (Incidentally, shyness is the height of egoism: so focussed on oneself that you think everyone else is, too!). However, several years ago at a social function with my new wife I had to either hold on to my phobia and displease my beloved, or face the challenge and go on to the dance floor with her. Fortunately I chose the latter. And this despite my silly fear of looking foolish. As it turned out, my wife’s pleasure at my fumbling attempts to dance freed me to be more and more relaxed. Not that I became an expert. But the important point is that this small step (literally) enabled me to subsequently enjoy dancing with my wife in public. To Sum Up
You can rid yourself of your phobia, anxiety or panic. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Make the decision to change. Substitute rational thinking for irrational. Gradually face the fear(s). Develop appropriate EFT and/or hypnosis skills. Reinforce changes with books, videos, DVDs, CDs or audiotapes.
I’d be happy to hear about your progress. Email me at mailto:
[email protected]
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About Dr Bryan Knight Bryan M. Knight, MSW, PhD, holds a degree in psychology from Sir George Williams University, a Master's in social work from McGill University and a doctorate in counselling from Columbia Pacific University for his dissertation, Professional Love: The Hypnotic Power of Psychotherapy . His 37 years in private practice have taught him to appreciate the uniqueness of each individual, and how to strengthen the client's positive values. Dr. Knight is the author of numerous articles and several books, including
The People Paradox; Enjoying Single Parenthood ; Love, Sex & Hypnosis: Secrets of Psychotherapy; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis. And these ebooks:
Hypnosis: Software for Your Mind; SELF-HYPNOSIS: Safe, Simple, Superb; How to Get Started as a Hypnotherapist; How To Avoid a Bad Relationship; Easily Hypnotize Anyone, and Marketing Action Plan for Success in Private Practice . Dr. Knight, a certified hypnotherapist, has frequently been a speaker at the National Guild of Hypnotists. Consulting Hypnotherapist to the Westside Medical Clinic in Montreal, he is also the distributor of Psychovisual Therapy DVDs and videos. Dr Knight created The International Registry of Professional Hypnotherapists. And The Global Directory of Hypnosis Training. He introduced Emotional Freedom Techniques to Canada. He can be reached by e-mail at mailto:
[email protected], by
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regular mail at 7306 Sherbrooke Street West, Montreal, QC, Canada, H4B 1R7, and by phone at (514) 332-7902.
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Resources Anxiety Network
http://www.anxietynetwork.com/pdhome.html Emotional Freedom Techniques
http://www.emofree.com/ ABIL: Agoraphobics Building Independent Lives
http://www.anxietysupport.org/b001menu.htm Dental Phobia and Anxiety
http://www.dentalfear.org/ National Phobics Society
http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/ Rational-Emotive Therapy
http://www.rebt.org/ Social Phobia/Social Anxiety Association
http://www.socialphobia.org/ Anxiety Disorders Association of America
http://www.adaa.org Women Helping Agoraphobics, Inc. http://www.nmha.org NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) http://www.nami.org National Institute of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov Self-Help book for Anxiety/Panic Problems
http://stressrelease.com/booktext.html Description of various psychotherapies http://hypnosis.org/therapysite/art.htm
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