Women Food and God - An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth (excerpt)

Wsdiuo hs

\hfok Bhha dka Lha  „Dk }ssas chh` ‑ dq hkeo cbn. frl. b&  a sl+ Fhuq ifwhsqdkq. PShqmV lirou u d wsdeqiedn |dy  qh uo hs chaiou ‑ dnhkl |iqm uhfo h qmo fhuq aibenq wdsqu h  hs ofhqihkdn nirou ‑ du lsdeihu dka qsdkuhsfdqiro whsqdnu qh hs uhn+‖ ‑Sie` BhuqoS. eh&dqmhs h Mdwwikouu " \odnqm dka Mh| \o  Emhhuo qh Co Mdwwy „Asl. azznl. b b.. fbsl. | a s&  shf qmo ads`kouu h hc& ban sn+ Iq fdwu qmo jhskoy shf uouuihk qh qmo wso uokuo h coikl ik wshuo uh ikuilmqn dka duqhk& iumikl iq noq fo csodqmnouu+‖ ‑Ldy MokASie`u. Wm+A+ dqmhs h Biro \iumou dka Ehkueihu Nhrikl  „dcnn ffszl+ Dka nhdaoa |iqm ikuilmqu |miem edk emdklo yhs nio+‖ ‑eMiuqidko khSqMSw. FA FA.. dqmhs hfok’uu Chai Chaiou. ou. \hfo hfok’ k’u \i \iuah uahf f dka Qo \iuahf hb Fokhwduo  h \hfok’ „Qiu iu  mln fs |s.  nb&mls. hko qmdq  |inn soo kqhna |hfok shf qmo qysdkky h ods dka mhwonouukouu dshka qmois chaioa+ Codqinny |siqqok. d jhy qh soda. siem ik chqm sorondqihk dka lsodq mfhs+‖ ‑dkko NdFhqq. dqmhs h Lsdeo  -Orokqdnny): Qhlmqu hk Bdiqm

 \hfok Bhha dka Lha Dk _ko}woeqoa Wdqm Wdqm qh Dnfhuq Orosyqmikl Oros yqmikl

Lokook Shqm  Kh fdqqos mh| uhwmiuqiedqoa hs |odnqmy hs csh`o hs oknilmq& okoa yh dso. mh| yh odq qonnu dnn+

Dbqos qmsoo aoedaou aoe daou hb uqayikl. qodemikl dka |siqikl |s iqikl dchq hs ehfwnuihku |iqm |i qm bhha. couquonnikl couquonnikl dqmhs Lo& kook Shqm daau d wh|osbn ko| aifokuihk qh mos |hs`  ik \hfok Bhha dka Lha + Umo coliku |iqm | iqm mos fhuq cduie ehkeowq: Qo |dy yh odq iu ikuowdsdcno b shf yhs ehso coniobu dchq coikl dniro+ Yhs sondqihkumiw |iqm bhha iu dk o}deq fisshs hb yhs booniklu dchq nhro. bods. dklos. fodk& ikl. qsdkubhsfdqihk dka. you. orok Lha+ D qifonouu dka uofikdn |hs`. \hfok Bhha dka Lha  umh|u mh| lhikl coyhka qmo bhha dka qmo booniklu qd`ou yh aoowos ikqh sodnfu hb uwisiq dka uhn‑qh qmo csilmq eokqos hb yhs h|k nibo+

\hfok Bhha dka Lha  Dk _ko}woeqoa _ko}woeqoa Wdqm qh Dnfhu Dnfhuqq Orosyqmikl  Orosy qmikl 

Lokook Shqm

Ueic o Yhs`

Nhkhk Nhk hk

Qhshkqh

Uykoy

 Bhs qmho |mh aowdis qmdq qmoso i kh |dy qmshulm+  Dka bhs fy soqsodq quaokq. |mh dso nirikl qoqifhky qmdq qmoso i+ Qmi i bhs yhu+

Ehkqokq

Wshnhlo: Qmo \hsna hk Hs Wndqou

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WdQ H

WieiWNU Emdwqos Hko: Dchq Lha

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Emdwqos Qmsoo: Koros _kaosouqifdqo qmo Ikenikdqihk qh Chnq

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Emdwqos Biro: Coyhka \mdq’ \mdq’uu Csh`ok

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Emdwqos Ui}: Soqodemikl Nhronikouu

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WdQ Qm

dQil Emdwqos Onorok: Qmhuo \mh Mdro Bk dka Qmhuo \mh Ahk’q

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Emdwqoss Q|onro: Ib Nhro Ehna Uwod` Emdwqo

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Emdwqos Qmisqook: Coikl Mhq Balo Ukadou

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Emdwqos Bhsqook: Qmo „Hm Umiq‖ Fdkqsd

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Owinhlo: Nduq \hsau

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De`kh|noalfokqu

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daaauf Colikkikl Iktisy

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Qmo Odqikl Liaonikou

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Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

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ilmqy mklsy |hfok dso uiqqikl ik d eiseno |iqm ch|nu hb ehna qhfdqh roloqdcno uhw0 qmoy dso lnh|osikl dq fo. bsihu+ Iq iu nkemqifo hk qmo qmisa ady hb qmo soqsodq+ Asikl qmouo adiny odqikl foaiqdqihku odem |hfdk dwwshdemou qmo cbboq qdcno. nikou w qh co uosroa. qd`ou mos uodq ik qmo eiseno. dka |diqu kqin |o dnn uiq ah|k qh odq+ Qmo wsheouu iu dlhkiziklny unh|‑b& qook fikqou hs uh‑ouwoeidnny ib bhha iu yhs asl hb  emhieo+ Dnqmhlm qmo soqsodq iu lhikl |onn dka fdky wohwno moso mdro mda nibo&emdklikl ikuilmqu. dq qmiu fhfokq kh hko edsou+ Qmoy ahk’q edso dchq uqkkikl csod`qmshlmu hs mdrikl kikoqy whkau qh nhuo hs |moqmos Lha o}iuqu+ Qmoy |dkq qh co nobq dnhko |iqm qmois bhha. wosiha+ Qmoy |dkq fo qh qd`o fy bdkey iaodu dchq qmo nik` coq|ook uwisiqdniqy dka ehfwnuiro odqikl dka lh d|dy+ Iq iu hko qmikl qh co ehkueihu dchq bhha ik qmo foaiqdqihk mdnn. dka dkhqmos qh co uiqqikl ik qmo aikikl shhf. sobsdik& ikl bshf qd`ikl orok hko ciqo kqin qmo okqiso lshw mdu cook uosroa+ Dnuh. I’ro du`oa qmdq uinokeo co hcuosroa. uh 4

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

qmoso dso kh bsiuuhku hb ndlmqos hs emdqqy mh|&dso&yhu qh aiuqsdeq dqqokqihk bshf mklos hs nde` hb iq. uikeo khq orosyhko iu mklsy+ Qmo soqsodq iu cduoa hk d wminhuhwmy I’ro aoronhwoa hros qmo wduq qmisqy yodsu: qmdq hs sondqihkumiw qh bhha iu dk o}deq fieshehuf hb hs sondqihkumiw qh nibo iquonb+ I conioro |o dso |dn`ikl. qdn`ikl o}wsouuihku hb hs aoowouq ehkrieqihku0 orosyqmikl |o conioro dchq nhro. bods. qsdkubhsfdqihk dka Lha iu sorodnoa ik mh|. |mok dka |mdq |o odq+ \mok |o ikmdno Soouo’u wodkq cq& qos ewu |mok |o dso khq mklsy. |o dso deqikl hq dk okqiso |hsna hb mhwo hs mhwonouukouu. hb bdiqm hs ahcq. hb nhro hs bods+ Ib |o dso ikqosouqoa ik kaikl hq |mdq |o deqdnny conioro‑khq |mdq |o qmik`. khq |mdq |o udy. cq |mdq hs uhnu dso ehkrikeoa iu qmo chqqhf&niko qsqm dchq nibo dka dbqosnibo‑|o kooa lh kh bsqmos qmdk qmo bhha hk hs wndqou+ Lha iu khq juq ik qmo aoqdinu0 Lha iu dnuh ik qmo fbku. qmo bsioa u|ooq whqdqhou dka qmo qhfdqh roloqdcno uhw+ Lha‑mh|oros |o aoko mif hs mos‑iu hk hs wndqou+ \miem iu |my oilmqy |hfok dka I dso uiqqikl ik d eiseno |iqm ehna roloqdcno uhw+ I nhh` dshka qmo shhf+ Wmh& qhlsdwmu hb h|osu‑ikqsiedqo enhuo&wu hb d soa admnid. qmo lhnaok oalou hb d |miqo shuo‑dso mkl hk qmo |dnn+ D chtoq hb wodem lndaihndu iu uwndyoa uh o}qsdrdldkqny hk d uiao qdcno qmdq iq nhh`u du ib iq iu wsdkeikl dq qmo wshf ik iqu kosy+ Qmok I colik khqieikl qmo bdeou hb fy uq& aokqu+ Fdsjhsio. d wuyemhnhliuq ik mos bqiou. iu wndyikl |iqm mos uwhhk dka ahouk’q fooq fy oyou+ D q|okqy& 3

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

yods&hna lyfkduq kdfoa Wdqsieid iu |odsikl cnde` qilmqu dka d nofhk&ehnhsoa qdk` qhw+ Mos qiky chay uiqu ni`o dk hsildfi cisa hk mos eumihk‑aoniedqo. wosboeqny osoeq+ Hk mos wndqo iu d mdkabn hb uwshqu dka d uqbn hb udnda. ud nda. qmdq’u dnn+ I nhh` qh fy silmq dka uoo Dkkd. d uslohk bshf Fo}ieh Eiqy. ciqikl hko hb mos niwu dka qdwwikl mos bhs` hk qmo wndqo ifwdqiokqny+ ifwdqiokqny+ Qmoso dso qmsoo wioeou hb csoda |iqm qmie` undcu hb cqqos hk mos wndqo. d ciq hb  udnda. kh uhw. kh roloqdcnou+ Mos bhha udyu. „Be` yh. Lokook. I ahk’q mdro qh wndy qmiu siaienhu ldfo+ \dqem fo ciklo qmo uoehka I loq qmo emdkeo+‖ I kha dq mos du ib qh udy. „Yw. I kaosuqdka mh| mdsa iq iu qh unh| ah|k+‖ I qd`o d tie` lndkeo dshka qmo souq hb qmo shhf. dq bdeou. dq wndqou+ Qmo dis iu qmie` |iqm souiuqdkeo qh qmiu odqikl foaiqdqihk. dka uikeo I df qmo hko |mh fd`ou qmo snou. I df dnuh qmo hko dq |mhf qmo bsy iu aisoeqoa+ Loqqikl coq|ook wohwno dka qmois bhha iu ni`o uqdkaikl ik bshkq hb  d uwooaikl qsdik0 qmo deq hb coikl uqhwwoa ik ehfwnuiro comdrihs iu khq o}deqny foq |iqm lhha emoos+ „Dkyhko |dkq qh udy dkyqmikl cobhso |o colik8‖ I du`+ Uinokeo+ „Qmok. cnouuiklu hk hs bhha dka dnn qmdq fdao iq whu& uicno+ Qmo sdik. qmo uk. qmo wohwno |mh lso| iq. cshlmq iq moso. uosroa iq moso.‖ I udy udy++ I edk mods Dfdkad. |mh iu uiqqikl qh fy silmq. qd`& ikl d aoow csodqm dq qmo uhka hb qmo wsdyos+ Deshuu qmo shhf Zho khau mos moda. du ib qh udy. „Hm. silmq+ Qmo odsqm. qmo uk. qmo sdik+ Lnda qmoy’so qmoso+‖ Cq 5

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

khq orosyhko iu lsdqobn qh qd`o hko fhso uoehka qh ah dkyqmikl cq odq+ Nhiud ik mos csilmq soa skkikl uiq uilmu dka lskqu dk dnfhuq ikaiueoskicno „Hm bhs Lha’u ud`ou+ Edk |o wm&noouo loq hk |iqm qmiu8$‖ Umo nhh`u du ib umo iu soday qh `inn fo+ Mfdkony Mfdkony.. hb ehsuo. dka hkny |iqm qmo unilmqouq ciq hb ubbosikl. cq uqinn+ „Kh|. qd`o uhfo qifo dka khqieo |mdq yh wq hk yhs wndqo.‖ I udy+ „Khqieo ib yh |oso mklsy |mok yh emhuo qmo bhha+ Ib yh |osok’q wmyuiednny mklsy. |du qmoso dkhqmos `ika hb mklos wsouokq8 „Dka nhh`ikl dq yhs wndqou. aoeiao |mdq yh |dkq qh odq suq dka qd`o d bo| ciqou+ Khqieo mh| qmo bhha boonu ik yhs fhqm+ Ib iq qduqou ni`o yh qmhlmq iq |hna qduqo+ Ib iq ahou |mdq yh qmhlmq iq |hna ah+‖ Qmsoo. bhs fikqou wduu dfia qmo uyfwmhky hb odq& ikl uhkau: suqnikl. emo|ikl. u|dnnh|ikl. enik`ikl+ I khqieo qmdq Izzy. d ui}&bhhq&q|h |innh|y |hfdk bshf Bsdkeo. iu nhh`ikl hq qmo |ikah| dka uoofu qh mdro bhslhqqok qmdq |o dso odqikl+ Cq fhuq wohwno dso mhna& ikl qmo wndqou w qh qmois fhqmu uh qmoy edk loq qmo ciqou ik bduqos+ Ndsio. d qmisqy&ro&yods&hna EOH hb d Chuqhk fhsq& ldlo ehfwdky. sdiuou mos mdka+ „I df khq mklsy. cq I |dkq qh co+ I |dkq qh odq dky|dy+‖ „\my iu qmdq8‖ I du`+ „Coeduo iq nhh`u lhha dka iq’u moso. silmq kh|+ Iq’u qmo couq ehfbhsq ik qh|k+ \mdq’u |shkl |iqm |dkqikl ehfbhsq bshf bhha8‖ „Khq d qmikl.‖ I udy+ „Bhha iu lhha dka ehfbhsq iu 1

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

lhha+ O}eowq qmdq |mok yh dso khq mklsy dka yh |dkq ehfbhsq. bhha iu hkny d qofwhsdsy wdnnidqiro0 |my khq daasouu qmo aiuehfbhsq aisoeqny8‖ „Iq’u qhh mdsa qh daasouu qmiklu aisoeqny. qhh wdikbn. dka qmoso iuk’q dky oka qh iq+ Dka ib iq’u iq’u lhikl qh co oka& nouuny wdikbn. qmok dq noduq I mdro bhha.‖ umo dku|osu+ „Uh yh lso qmdq qmo couq yh edk loq hq hb nibo iu ehna roloqdcno uhw8‖ \mok umo qdn`u dldik. dl dik. mos rhieo iu tirosikl+ „Iq’ „Iq’uu qmo hkny qso ehfbhsq I mdro. dka I df khq lhikl qh aowsiro fyuonb hb iq+‖ D qods jhlu ah|k mos silmq emoo`. mhrosu hk mos qhw niw+ Modau kha ik duuokq+ D |dro hb fsfsu wduuou dshka qmo eiseno+ Ndsio udyu. „Qmiu qmikl |o ah moso‑|diqikl ik uinokeo kqin orosyhko loqu qmois bhha‑sofikau fo hb  |mdq iq |du ni`o qh odq aikkos ik hs bdfiny+ Fy fhqmos |du asik`ikl. fy bdqmos |du bsihu dka kh hko |du qdn`ikl+ Iq |du mhssicno+‖ „\mdq |oso yh boonikl asikl qmhuo qifou8‖ I du`+ „Nhkony. fiuosdcno. ni`o I |du chsk ikqh qmo |shkl bdfiny+ I |dkqoa qh ouedwo cq qmoso |du kh wndeo qh lh0 I bonq qsdwwoa+ Dka qmiu boonu qmo udfo |dy+ Ni`o dnn hb  yh dso esdzy dka I df qsdwwoa moso. |iqm d ckem hb  nhhkiou+‖ Fhso moda khau+ Fhso fsfsu+ D |hfdk bshf Duqsdnid nhh`u dq fo aodkqny. mos cnde` |diuq&noklqm mdis csumikl qmo oalo hb qmo uhw ch|n+ I ifdliko umo iu qmik`ikl qmdq Ndsio iu silmq dka edk umo loq d siao qh qmo diswhsq ik bqook fikqou+ ?

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

Cq silmq moso. silmq kh|. ik qmo eokqos hb qmiu |hka‑ I’ro cook dcdkahkoa dka coqsdyoa cy |mh dka |mdq sodnny fdqqos dka |mdq I’ro lhq nobq i bhha ‑iu |moso qmo nik` coq|ook bhha dka Lha o}iuqu+ Iq fds`u qmo fhfokq |mok |o ldro w hk hsuonrou. hk emdklo. hk nibo+ Iq fds`u qmo wndeo |moso |o dso d so dbsdia+ Iq fds`u qmo booniklu |o |hk’q dnnh| hsuonrou qh boon. dka ik uh ahikl. `oowu hs nirou ehkuqsieqoa dka asy dka uqdno+ Ik qmdq iuhndqoa wndeo. iq iu d umhsq uqow qh qmo ehken& uihk qmdq Lha‑|moso lhhakouu dka modnikl dka nhro o}iuq‑dcdkahkoa u. coqsdyoa u hs iu d uwoskdq& sdn rosuihk hb hs wdsokqu+ Hs wsdeqieo dq qmo soqsodqu hb |hs`ikl qmshlm qmiu aouwdis iu khq hko hb o}osqikl |inn hs ehkjsikl w bdiqm. cq coikl esihu. lokqno dka d ka okldloa |iqm qmo eykieiuf. qmo mhwonouukouu. qmo dklos dklos++ I du` Ndsio ib umo edk fd`o shhf bhs qmo wdsq hb mos qmdq boonu qsdwwoa dka nhkony+ nhkony+ Umo udyu kh. umo edk’q+ Umo udyu umo juq |dkqu qh odq+ I du` mos ib umo iu |innikl qh ehkuiaos qmo whuuiciniqy qmdq qmiu mdu khqmikl qh ah |iqm bhha+ Umo udyu kh. umo edk’q+ Umo iu uqdsikl dq fo |iqm d nhh` hb lsif aoqosfikdqihk qmdq udyu. „@oow hq+ Lh d|dy++ Khq ikqosouqoa+‖ Mos oyou dso kdssh|. d|dy kdssh|. mos fhqm iu qilmq+ Qmo shhf boonu du ib qmo dis mdu cook ue`oa hq hb iq+ Wohwno mdro uqhwwoa csodqmikl0 qmoy dso uqdsikl dq fo. dq Ndsio. |diqikl+ „I df |hkaosikl.‖ I udy. „|my yh dso uh ikqokq hk

2

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

`oowikl fo hq+ Iq uoofu du ib qmoso iu d wdsq hb yh cokq hk iuhndqihk. fdyco orok aouqseqihk+‖ Umo wqu ah|k mos uwhhk. |miem umo mdu cook mhna& ikl ik fiadis. fiadis. dka uqdsou dq fo+ „Mdro yh lirok w8‖ I du`+ Iq’u d siu`y touqihk coeduo iq wnklou silmq ikqh qmo aouwdis. cq I du` iq. uikeo umo mdu cook lmqikl |iqm fo bhs qmo wduq qmsoo adyu dka I df ehkeoskoa dchq mos nodrikl qmo soqsodq ik d uqdqo hb uqhky |iqmasd|dn+ „\mok aia qmo aoqosfikdqihk khq qh conioro ik dkyqmikl oros dldik uoq ik8‖ Umo ikmdnou umdswny+ Uiqu |iqmhq uwod`ikl bhs d bo| fikqou+ I nhh` dshka qmo shhf+ Uzdkko. d fhqmos hb qmsoo yhkl eminasok. iu esyikl+ Rieqhsid. d wuyemidqsiuq bshf Fiemildk. iu |dqemikl. |diqikl. dcuhscoa ik |mdq iu mdwwokikl+ „I’ro |dkqoa qh aio uikeo I |du dchq qok.‖ Ndsio udyu tioqny+ „Edk yh fd`o shhf bhs qmo qok&yods&hna8‖ I du`+ „Qmo hko |mh aiak’q uoo dky |dy hq hb qmo mhwonouu uiq& dqihk umo bhka mosuonb ik8 Rosy lokqny. uoo ib yh edk uokuo qmo msq iquonb+‖ Ndsio khau mos moda+ „I qmik` I edk ah qmdq.‖ qmdq. ‖ umo udyu tioqny+ I du` mos qh ah qmiu khq uh qmdq umo edk ehfbhsq mos „ikkos emina+‖ I ahk’q conioro ik ikkos eminasok+ I ah conioro qmdq qmoso dso bshzok wndeou ik hsuonrou‑kai&

<

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

louqoa whe`oqu hb wdik‑qmdq kooa qh co soehlkizoa dka |onehfoa. uh qmdq |o edk ehkqdeq qmdq |miem mdu koros cook msq hs |hkaoa hs mklsy+ Dnqmhlm qmo |hs` |o ah dq qmo soqsodq iu hbqok o}wosiokeoa du qmosdwoqie. iq iu khq qmosdwy+ _kni`o qmosdwy. iq iu khq aouilkoa qh chnuqos uonb&ouqoof. |miem |du esodqoa ik sodeqihk qh hs wduq+ Qmo |hs` dq qmo soqsodq iu aouilkoa qh sorodn qmdq |miem iu coyhka uonb&ouqoof. kehkaiqihkoa cy hs wduq+ wd uq+ Hs wosuhkdniqy dka iqu aobokuou. hko hb |miem iu hs ofhqihkdnny emdsloa sondqihkumiw qh bhha. dso d aisoeq nik` qh hs uwisiqdniqy+ Qmoy dso qmo csoda esfcu noda& ikl u mhfo+ Ndsio udyu. „I ahk’q `kh| |mdq juq mdwwokoa. cq uaaokny I mdro kh aouiso qh odq qmo uhw+‖ I udy. „Iq uoofu du ib qmoso iu uhfoqmikl orok coqqos qmdk bhha: qhemikl |mdq yh ehkuiaosoa kqhemdcno dka riueosdnny aiuehrosikl qmdq yh dso cillos qmdk yhs wdik+‖ Umo khau mos moda dka ufinou bhs qmo suq qifo ik qmsoo adyu+ „Nibo ahouk’q uoof uh cda dq qmiu fhfokq+ Udyikl hq nha mh| cda I qmhlmq iq |du |mok I |du qok fd`ou iq uoof khq uh cda kh|+ I louu |mdq mdwwoku iu qmdq I edk boon qmo qok&yods&hna dka mh| cil mos udakouu |du |iqmhq qhqdnny coehfikl mos‑qmdq’u d lhha qmikl+‖ Qmo uifwno bdeq qmdq mos wdik edk co qhemoa dka d ka qmdq iq |hk’q aouqshy mos fodku qmdq dnn iu khq nhuq hs mhwonouu hs ksoaoofdcno+ I kha fy moda dka du` ib umo |dkqu qh `oow qdn`ikl qh fo+ Umo udyu. „I qmik` qmiu iu okhlm bhs kh|+‖ =

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

I du` wohwno qh wie` w qmois uinros|dso dka qd`o d bo| fhso ciqou‑khqieikl |mdq qmoy |dkq qh odq. mh| iq qduqou. mh| qmoy boon+ D bo| fikqou ndqos. Konn. d uqaokq dq qmo soqsodqu bhs uorok yodsu. sdiuou mos mdka+ „I df khq mklsy dky& fhso. cq I uaaokny sodnizoa qmdq I df dbsdia qh wum qmo bhha d|dy+‖ „\my8‖ I du`+ „Coeduo§+§+§+‖‑dka umo uqdsqu qh esy‑„+§+§+ coeduo I sodnizo I df khq csh`ok§+§+§+ dka qmdq yh |inn co dklsy dq fo ib yh `kh|+‖ „\my |hna I co dklsy dq yh8‖ I du`+ „Coeduo yh’a uoo |mh I sodnny df dka yh |hnak’q ni`o iq+‖ „\mdq |hna I uoo8‖ „Riqdniqy++ D nhq hb okosly „Riqdniqy okosly++ Aoqosfikdqihk+ Uqsoklqm+‖ „\h|.‖ „\h| .‖ I udy+ „Dka |mdq |hnak’q I ni`o dchq d chq qmdq8‖ qmdq8 ‖ „I |hnak’q kooa yh qmok+ Dka yh |hna co qmsodq& okoa cy qmdq+‖ „\mh dso yh qd`ikl fo qh co8 Dkyhko yh `kh| |mh |du qmsodqokoa cy mh| lhslohu yh dso8‖ Konn uqdsqu qh ndlm+ „Mi. Fhf.‖ umo udyu+ Qmo shhf oswqu ik d |dro hb ndlmqos+ ndlmqos+ „Umo |du uh aowsouuoa.‖ Konn udyu+ „Dka ib I |du juq fyuonb. qmdq |du qhh fem bhs mos+ I kooaoa qh umq ah|k qmo cilkouu‑I kooaoa qh co du csh`ok du umo |du‑hqmos|iuo umo’a sojoeq fo dka qmdq |du kde& eowqdcno+‖ „\mdq’uu mdwwokikl ik yhs chay. „\mdq’ chay. Konn8‖ I du`+ 9

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

„Iq boonu ni`o d bhkqdik hb ehnhs.‖ umo udyu+ „Iq’u du ib I df uqsodfikl |iqm riria mou hb soa. lsook. lhna. cnde` uqsod`ikl ik fy emouq. fy dsfu. fy nolu§+§+§+‖ „H@. noq’u uqhw moso bhs d fikqo+§+§+§+‖ I nhh` dshka qmo shhf+ Dkkd. |mh’a |dkqoa qh qonn fo qh be` hbb. iu esyikl+ Edfinno. |mh mdu nhh`oa chsoa uikeo qmo soqsodq uqdsqoa. uoofu qqosny dcuhscoa ik |mdq iu mdwwokikl+ Qmo lshw dqqokqihk iu siroqoa cy |mdq Konn iu udyikl dchq qmo kooa qh co csh`ok+ Qmoy edk sondqo qh qmo coniob qmdq ib qmoy `oow qmofuonrou |hkaoa dka adfdloa. qmoy |inn co nhroa+ I nhh` dq Konn dka udy. „\mok yh uqhw dka noq yhs& uonb boon |mdq iu coikl hbbosoa qh yh. iq iu koros. oros |mdq yh qmhlmq iq |hna co+ Yh lh bshf coikl dbsdia qh coikl d bhkqdik ik qmsoo fikqou+§+§+§+‖ Konn udyu. „Iq boonu du ib qmiu tioq. ednf uwdeo mdu cook |diqikl bhs fo qh ehfo cde` qh iq. ni`o iq’u cook moso dnn fy nibo. ni`o iq’u fhso fo qmdk dkyqmikl onuo+‖ Dka qmok Konn uqdkau w dka nhh`u dshka qmo shhf+ Umo wnnu mos emdis duiao dka udyu. „Niuqok qh qmiu. lisnu$ I DF KHQ CSH@OK$$$$‖ Fhso ndlmqos+ Qmok Konn ehkqikou. „Qmiu wsheouu dfdzou fo+ Bisuq I mda qh aodn |iqm qmo bhha qmikl+ I sodnny aia mdro qh uqhw uikl bhha qh ehfbhsq fyuonb‑ hqmos|iuo I bonq qhh esdzy‑dka qmoso |du kh qifo bhs qmiu uwisiqdn uqbb+ Qmok. |mok fy odqikl ednfoa ah|k. I mda qh dq noduq dnnh| fyuonb qh boon qmo booniklu hb csh& `okkouu‑qmdq |du qhlm+ Qmdq |du qmo wdsq |moso I juq mda qh conioro |mdq yh |oso udyikl. Lokook‑ 47

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

qmdq fy souiuqdkeo qh qmo wdik |du |hsuo qmdk qmo wdik+ Cq qh deqdnny boon qmdq I df khq csh`ok‑I edk mdsany o}wndik |mdq qmdq iu ni`o+ Iq’u ni`o coikl d wioeo hb mhni& kouu+ Iq’u ni`o udyikl qmdq lhhakouu iu khq juq bhs orosy& hko onuo. iq’u dnuh bhs fo+ Iq i fo$‖ Uikeo iq’u dnfhuq qifo bhs qmo ko}q uouuihk qh colik ik qmo foaiqdqihk mdnn. I du` wohwno qh emoe` ik |iqm qmois mklos noronu. qh sdqo qmofuonrou hk d uedno ued no hb hko qh qok. |iqm hko coikl mklsy dka qok coikl bnn. dka qh odq deehsaiklny++ „\o’nn fooq ah|k ik qmo foaiqdqihk mdnn ik deehsaiklny qmisqy fikqou.‖ I udy. uqdkaikl w bshf fy uodq+ uod q+ Du I df dchq dc hq qh |dn` hq qmo ahhs. d |hfdk kdfoa Fdsio lsdcu fy mdka dka udyu. „I juq mdro qh udy hko qmikl qh qmo lshw+ Iu qmdq H@8‖ I kha fy moda. csdeikl fyuonb bhs |mdq iu ehfikl+ Fdsio mdu cook d u`owqie uikeo qmo soqsodq coldk+ Umo mdu udq ik qmo uouuihku lndsikl dq fo |iqm mos dsfu bhnaoa deshuu mos mo s emouq du ib qh udy. „Wshro iq qh fo. mhkoy+ Wshro qmdq qmiu bhha qmikl iu dkyqmikl fhso qmdk juq umqqikl fy fhqm+‖ Dbqos odem qdn` I’ro lirok. umo’ umo’uu emdnnokloa fo. ehkbshkqoa fo0 youqosady umo qhna fo umo |du uhssy umo oros edfo+ „Qmiu iu juq DBLH.‖ umo udia+ „Dka I’f qisoa hb iq+ I juq |dkq qh nhuo qmo adfk |oilmq dka co ahko |iqm iq+‖ „\mdq’uu DBLH8‖ I du`oa+ „\mdq’ „Dkhqmos Be`ikl Lsh|qm Hwwhsqkiqy.‖ Fdsio dku|osoa+ I ndlmoa uh mdsa I uqdsqoa ukhsqikl+ „I’f uhssy bhs ndlmikl.‖ I udia+ „Cq iq uoofu du ib DBLHu mdro lhq& 44

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

qok d cda sdw+ Fdyco yh |inn ka qmdq qmiu soqsodq hwoku yh ik |dyu yh koros ifdlikoa+‖ „I ahcq iq.‖ umo dku|osoa. dka uqhfwoa d|dy. mos nhhuo whkyqdin hb esny soa mdis chccikl du mos chay soeoaoa ik qmo aiuqdkeo+ Kh|.. ik qmo aikikl shhf. Fdsio udyu. „Iq juq Kh| j uq heessoa qh fo qmdq orosyqmikl |o conioro dchq d chq hs nirou iu silmq moso+ Qmo |mhno |hsna iu hk qmouo wndqou+‖ „Dfok. uiuqos.‖ I udy+ Cobhso uqowwikl hq qmo ahhs. I coka ah|k qh Fdsio’u ods dka tioqny udy. „Noq’u mods iq bhs DBLHu+‖ Hk fy |dy qh qmo foaiqdqihk mdnn. I df hkeo dldik d|dso qmdq qmo okqiso soqsodq ehna qd`o wndeo ik qmo aik& ikl shhf. qmdq |mdq |o conioro dchq bhha dka odqikl iu dk o}tiuiqo sooeqihk hb dnn hs coniobu+ Du uhhk du qmo bhha ehfou hq. qmo booniklu ehfo hq+ Du uhhk du qmo booniklu ehfo hq. qmoso iu dk ikoriqdcno soehlkiqihk hb qmo uonb&ikieqoa rihnokeo dka ubbosikl qmdq bon dky hcuouuihk+ Dka hk qmo moonu hb qmdq soehlkiqihk ehfou qmo |inniklkouu qh okldlo |iqm dka k|ika qmo ubbos& ikl sdqmos qmdk co iqu wsiuhkos+ Qmo o}tiuiqo wdsdah} hb qmiu okldlofokq iu qmdq |mok qmo ubbosikl iu bnny dnnh|oa. iq aiuuhnrou+ \oilmq nhuu heesu oduiny. kdq& sdnny+ Dka |iqmhq qmo uonb&ikieqoa wdik dka qmo uqh& siou dchq |mdq iu |shkl. |mdq’u nobq iu |mdq |du qmoso cobhso qmoy coldk: hs ehkkoeqihk qh fodkikl dka qh qmdq |miem |o ka mhny+ 

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Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

Ik 49<=. I noa fy suq lshw bhs ehfwnuiro odqosu0 dq qmo ikiqidn fooqikl I |du bqy whkau hros|oilmq dka. ao qh d fiukaosuqdkaikl |iqm d mdisasouuos bsioka |mh’a lirok fo d wosfdkokq. |du uwhsqikl d uoq hb shnnosu ik fy mdis mdis++ Fhkqmu odsnios. odsnios. d bo| mhsu d|dy bshf `innikl fyuonb  dbqos ldikikl oilmqy whkau ik q|h fhkqmu. I’a fdao qmo sdaiedn aoeiuihk qh uqhw aioqikl dka odq |mdq fy chay |dkqoa+ Uikeo dahnoueokeo. I’a ldikoa dka nhuq hros d qmhudka whkau+ I’a cook daaieqoa qh dfwmoqdfikou bhs bhs yodsu dka qh nd}dqirou bhs q|h yodsu+ I’a qmsh|k w. uwiq w. bduqoa dka qsioa orosy aioq whuuicno. bshf qmo Dnn&Lsdwo&Kqu aioq qh qmo Hko&Mhq&Balo&Ukado&d& Ady aioq qh Dq`iku. Uqinnfdk dka \oilmq \dqemosu+ I’a cook dkhso}ie‑uwokaikl dnfhuq q|h yodsu |oilmikl oilmqy whkau‑dka I’a cook tiqo hros|oilmq+ Fhuqny hros|oilmq+ Fy enhuoq |du uqbboa |iqm oilmq aibbosokq uizou hb wdkqu. asouuou dka cnhuou+ Esdzoa |iqm uonb& nhdqmikl dka umdfo. I rdeinndqoa coq|ook |dkqikl qh aouqshy fyuonb dka |dkqikl qh } fyuonb |iqm qmo ko}q couq wshfiuo hb nhuikl qmisqy whkau ik qmisqy adyu+ Cy qmdq suq ahnnds&d&uouuihk lshw. I’a cook odqikl |mdq fy chay |dkqoa bhs d bo| fhkqmu+ I mda nhuq d bo| whkau‑d fdjhs deehfwniumfokq bhs uhfohko |mh conioroa qmdq umo’a co nirikl ik aioq monn kqin mos nduq csodqm‑dka iq |du unh|ny ad|kikl hk fo qmdq fy sondqihkumiw |iqm bhha mda dbboeqoa orosy hqmos wdsq hb  fy nibo+ Qmhuo |hfok |mh aia khq sk uesodfikl ik qmo hwwhuiqo aisoeqihk |mok qmoy sodnizoa qmdq qmo hros& 45

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

|oilmq |hfdk |iqm shnnosu ik mos mdis |du‑kh `ia& aikl‑qmo nodaos hb qmo lshw foq |iqm fo |oo`ny bhs q|h yodsu du |o o}wnhsoa qmo shno bhha |du wndyikl ik hs nirou+ _kqin fy suq chh`. Booaikl qmo Muklsy Modsq. |du wcniumoa ik 49=3 dka I coldk qodemikl dnn hros qmo ehkqsy‑ik Dndu`d. Fikkouhqd. Bnhsiad. Ko| Yhs`‑I |hs`oa |iqm mkasoau fhso |hfok ik |oo`ny lshwu+ \hfok |mh u|hso qmdq qmoy’a dn|dyu kooa qh nhe` qmois bhha ik qmois `iqemok edcikoqu dka miao qmo `oy |oso uaaokny dcno qh odq hko hb uhfoqmikl‑hko ch|n. hko wioeo. hko ciqo+ \hfok |mh mda koros cook dcno qh nhuo |oilmq |oso uaaokny kaikl qmois enhqmou qhh cdlly.. qmois |diuqcdkau qhh nhhuo+ cdlly \iqmik d yods dbqos I uqhwwoa aioqikl. I’a sodemoa fy kdqsdn |oilmq. |moso I’ro sofdikoa bhs qmsoo aoedaou+ Cq fhso qmdk qmo ko| chay uizo. iq |du qmo nilmqkouu hb  coikl qmdq okqmsdnnoa fo0 dnqmhlm I aiak’q tiqo kaos& kaos& uqdka qmo ehkkoeqihk coq|ook qsuqikl fyuonb dshka bhha dka qsuqikl nouu qdklicno mklosu -bhs souq. ehkqdeq. fodkikl). qmo sondqihkumiw |iqm bhha coedfo qmo noku qmshlm |miem I coldk qh uoo dnfhuq orosyqmikl+ Zok fduqos Umksy Uz`i Shumi udia qmdq oknilmq& okfokq |du bhnnh|ikl hko qmikl dnn qmo |dy qh qmo oka. dka I uhhk uuwoeqoa qmdq ib I qsde`oa qmo ifwnuo qh odq |mok I |duk’q mklsy qh iqu ehso. I’a ka orosy uiklno qmikl I conioroa dchq nhrikl. nirikl. dka ayikl silmq qmoso. ik qmdq fhfokq+ \miem‑bhnnh|ikl qmo sondqihk& umiw |iqm bhha qh qmo oka‑wsoqqy fem aouesicou mh| I’ro uwokq qmo nduq qmisqy&q|h yodsu+ 41

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo



\mok I hbbosoa fy suq ui}&ady soqsodq ik Fdy 4999. iq |du uwwhuoa qh co d hko&hbb orokq+ I |dkqoa qh csikl qmo q|ik wduuihku hb fy nibo qhloqmos: fy |hs` |iqm odq& ikl dka fy yodsu hb foaiqdqihk dka d ka uwisiqdn iktisy+ iktisy+ I’a foaiqdqoa uikeo 49<1. niroa ik dumsdfu dka fhkduqosiou. dka |du dk hklhikl uqaokq hb qmo Aidfhka Dwwshdem. d khkaokhfikdqihkdn qodemikl qmdq uou wuyemhnhly du d csialo qh uwisiqdniqy+ uwisiqdniqy+ I uqinn esikloa |mok I modsa qmo |hsa Lha. dka qmo |hsa wisiqudn orh`oa d riuihk hb wioqy dka duqosiqy qmdq aia khq fdqem‑qmiu |hna co dk kaos& uqdqofokq‑fy rduq ehnnoeqihk hb kccy u|odqosu dka mhkoy&ehnhsoa chhqu+ I uqinn mda dchq d ahzok fhfokqu hb koshuiu wos ady. ady. cq I dnuh mda fhso f hso fhfokqu hb ehk& qokqfokq dka bsooahf qmdk I oros ifdlikoa whuuicno bhs d bhsfosny bdq lisn bshf Tooku+ I |dkqoa orosyhko qh `kh| |mdq I `ko|. mdro |mdq I mda+ Uqinn+ I |du uqkkoa dq |mdq mdwwokoa+ Iq |duk’q qmo uqhsiou dchq cikloikl hs aioqikl hs bduq& ikl I’a modsa0 iq |duk’q qmo qdnou hb dcuo hs qsdfd+ I’a modsa fhuq hb qmof cobhso+ Kh. |mdq umhe`oa fo |du qmdq dbqos yodsu hb |hs`ikl |iqm ehfwnuiro odqikl. I’a cook qsodqikl iq du d wuyemhnhliedn dka wmyuiedn wshcnof. dka dnqmhlm iq |du chqm hb qmhuo. I uaaokny ud| qmdq iq |du dnuh d ahhs|dy ikqh d cndzikl ikkos kirosuo+ Dbqos qmo suq soqsodq. qmo uqaokqu |dkqoa qh ehfo cde`0 qmoy |dkqoa qh ah iq dldik+ Qmoy sofikaoa fo hb  qmo dbqoskhhk I ud| d bnn oeniwuo hb qmo uk ik Dkqild+ 4?

\hfok Bhha dka Lha

Fy mucdka dka I |oso uqdkaikl ik qmo heodk |iqm ahz& oku hb hqmos wohwno. |odsikl ads` wnduqie lnduuou uh qmdq hs oyou |hnak’q loq cskoa cy qmo uk+ \o |dqemoa du qmo fhhk ehfwnoqony ehrosoa qmo uk+ Dka |o uqhha uwooemnouu ik okemdkqoa ads`kouu+ Du qmo nilmq unh|ny soqskoa. uhfohko yonnoa qh qmo fhhk. „Dldik+ Ah iq dldik+‖ Uikeo |o mda dk dardkqdlo hros qmo fhhk‑|o ehuna ah iq dldik‑|o aia+ Dka |o uqinn dso+ Du I’ro qdlmq qmo soqsodqu. I’ro nodskoa qmdq odem hb  u mdu d cduie rio| hb sodniqy dka Lha qmdq |o deq hq orosy ady ik hs sondqihkumiw |iqm hs bdfiniou. hs bsiokau. hs bhha+ Iq ahouk’q fdqqos |moqmos |o conioro ik hko Lha. fdky lhau hs kh lha+ Dkyhko |mh csodqmou dka qmik`u dka o}wosiokeou mdu coniobu dchq Lha+ Dka uikeo fhqmosikl iu hs suq wsoroscdn qofwndqo bhs dk o}iuqokeo ik |miem |o boon |onehfoa hs sojoeqoa. nhroa hs dcdkahkoa. fdky hb u mdro buoa hs sondqihkumiw |iqm hs fhqmosu |iqm hs ehkeowqu hb Lha+ \moqmos |o dso d|dso hb qmhuo odsny o}wosiokeou hs conioro ik wsoroscdn qofwndqou ahou khq dnqos qmo qsqm: hs adiny nirou. bshf qmo fkadko qh qmo ucnifo. bshf hs sodeqihku qh uiqqikl ik qsdbe qh hs souwhkuou qh qmo aodqm hb uhfohko |o nhro. dso o}wsouuihku‑hqwieqs& iklu‑hb hs aoowouq coniobu+ Qh aiuehros |mdq yh sodnny conioro. wdy dqqokqihk qh qmo |dy yh deq‑dka qh |mdq yh ah |mok qmiklu ahk’q lh qmo |dy yh qmik` qmoy umhna+ Wdy dqqokqihk qh |mdq yh rdno+ Wdy dqqokqihk qh mh| dka hk |mdq yh uwoka 42

Qo \hsna hk Hus Wndqo

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