T O B UILD A C ATHEDRAL
By Theodore Enslin
Beard of Bees Chicago Number 29 January, January, 2006
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What is done and yet undone
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The need is always with us what is needed also there Bruckner built cathedrals careless of his congregations who might come later in the spaces empty at the building
There were others building and more fortunate so they they though thoughtt a popul populace ace arou around nd them them to congratulate a need fulfilled so they thought the taste turned dull with time a blade that darkened and no longer cut
Later there were those who entered not quite trusting where they were the silences of what was left a need in part fulfilled.
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Where Where did time time go unansw unanswered ered ‘The mornings of genius are long’ leng length th is no answ answer er to ask ask such a question impossible none at all of days there are others of quality to be accounted ah the the coun countt goes goes awry awry
Where did we go in a time of no limits limits?? answer answerss pose pose questi questions ons what there is not serious as is where and the why the days and their fragments minisc miniscule ule as their their length length nothin nothing g to to measu measure re and of qualit quality y whic which h is is not not or in desc descri ript ptio ion n what can be expected of genius? not from from its its mornin mornings gs or later later its twilig twilight ht such such length length or dimension to build a cathedral.
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What will sustain itself through? through drought and drowning
It is needful for the builder to go back insp inspec ectt foun founda dati tion onss
to go back back
what he has built may sink at places places where the ground’s uneven bedrock faulted
It is needful to return with caution to retur return n to not not to revi revise se not not wisel wisely y re vision a matter of re
Bruckn Bruckner er listen listened ed not always always wisely wisely to those who would mend what they found faulty inco incong ngru ruou ouss unsaf unsafee ofte often n they they were were wron wrong g the builder builder listened listened at peril buildin building g on ledge that appeared and then vanished through drought and the drowning
Needful in return to go quickly to the struct structure ure itself itself and wonde wonderr how it could come to be.
The cathedral is never finished.
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A sheltering as a sheltering is never finished it is a struct structure ure incomp incomplet letee wards wards off off the rain rain and yet yet the the rain rain seeps seeps in the structure rises and obscures what was open shel shelte teri ring ng a vie view arcan arcanee a begi beginn nnin ing g seems seems to be is not not com compl plet etee pediment to spout a gargoyle to dive divert rt the the rain rain and still still seeps seeps in a water which returns is never finished cathedral passes in the midst of being builded of no finished stone is not to be its finite ending comi coming ng late late as the the buil builde ders rs sens sensin ing g what their forebears could not concerned with building on a ground not solid what might seem to be a business that outlasts its tools in ruins of a sky around it a shelte shelterr for the momen momentt but but outlas outlastin ting g it. it.
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A gap gap distan distance ce which which concei conceives ves a presen presence ce how it might cohere in separation Bruc Bruckn kner er coul could d not not kno know alwa always ys wher wheree to go hoped hoped for connec connectio tion n a spark spark to leap across across remain remain and yet contin continue ue not always always so the stone stone may falter falter fall completely completely into void void or in in reverb reverberatio eration n repeat repeat its fall fall or make make of it a spark spark flaw is not in the stone or placing mis mis place placed d thou though gh it may be a certa certain in turn turn makes makes some somethi thing ng other other of of it it the gap a certain tenderness returns to air as air air surro surround unding ing the flaw is in in mistr mistrust ust the builder must not listen to the well intentioned voice voicess hands hands that that would would corr correct ect a making making those that mistake mistake the building building contours contours where where to go? the simple simple going going not to inte interru rrupt pt the the goin going g ask no end end melodic as the several airs they reach due time time to soun sound d and sound sound in in other other ways. ways.
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The ston stones es of of many many shapes shapes the stones stones of of being being close close to the source source the ground ground once once chosen chosen as a ground ground for for buildin building g cornerstone cornerstone well placed should should not not be take taken n from from its place place needs needs only only that that anothe anotherr stone stone shoul should d reach reach it a congen congener er in shap shapee and and size size a ston stonee of bein being g others others from from a simi similar lar grou ground nd aligne aligned d and place placed d as relat relativ ives es to what is alread already y there there errati erraticc the build builder er sort sortss them them always always aware aware that what he builds is larger than himself extreme humility accorded both stone and tools nothing nothing to be scanted scanted surprises surprises in the ordinary ordinary the effect effect is natural natural to become effecti effective ve hard hard to define define the the boundi boundings ngs what what is built built has been there found by one who picks it up miscal miscalcul culati ation on that that the the stone stoness may not rise rise their weight denies them and a ruin stays as what what must must rema remain in unfin unfinis ishe hed d open open as a shel shelte terr to what what is alien alien in the the struc structur turee jackda jackdaws ws piling in their nests a distant fancy.
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A night sky remains above the ruins of that sky above the places where the alien things remain things things to see not seen seen stil stilll seen seen the focus of another sense night sky before its darkness what what are tower towers? s? battle battlemen ments? ts? an outline of unfinished business where are the towers? best to come in against the rain not every stone is in its place the ruins of the sky remain as blocks anothe anotherr build building ing not this this one the build builder er may may retur return n but but not not to build build he must remember building in farewell those who come may pay a due respect he shakes shakes his head head not his concep conceptt not at all all the failur failuree only only his his to to know know other grounds another place to build.
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To conceive an arch is not to build it the arch arch is built built already already there there but not apparent to more than mind’s eye of a buil builder der able able to to fore foresho shorte rten n chan change ge the the lens lens noth nothin ing g more more appa appare rent nt to thos thosee who come later later claim claim the the arch arch as as their theirss to see what what is not not ther theree the imposs impossibl iblee made made appar apparent ent how how it it stan stands ds agains againstt a disbe disbelie lieff ‘it is nev never er done done this this way’ way’ or ‘alway ‘alwayss done’ done’ the arch apparen apparentt and its distan distance ce from from a conc concept ept how how it holds holds or or does does not not to support a weight the tiers of block could not the builders’s instinct knows what he cannot only only in a part part of kno knowin wing g what what the mind mind’’s eye saw saw the build builder er help helples lesss not his own own desig design n Bruckner Bruckner knew knew and and could could not know know ‘misterioso ‘misterioso’’ easy and at at times times a joke joke lock locked ed into into buil buildin ding g that the arch preceded what was done with it conception may have been the fact of it mistak mistaken en though though once once claime claimed d the means means a sensin sensing. g.
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To put it out of mind and let the stones fall where where they they may the the hard hardest est part part that that the the work work stands stands away away from from itse itself lf the build builder er as if he had had nothin nothing g to do do with with it the fall fall of of stone stone as rain rain late laterr to color color and congeal congeal a mass mass of of form form stil stilll hesit hesitant ant out of mind mind or out out of of win wind d to put put it it out out a chanc chancee among among the many many other otherss the breaks breaks no form form is perf perfect ect perfec perfectio tion n in its lapses lapses out of mind mind no mind mind need needss be be to find what what can can be found? found? worded worded as a questi question on where where no no quest question ion asks asks put out of mind mind it seems of mind mind and and questi question on the stones stones still still fallin falling g but then the builder builder meddles meddles asks asks advice advice of othe others rs arches arches at a stone stone’’s throw throw no arches arches made by design design ulteri ulterior or nor nor was was it of inte intent nt prop propos osed ed not not unde unders rsto tood od merely merely thou thought ght to be no suff sufferi ering ng in the end end there are the minds of others at wild guess and only in those lapses what was mind the mindful.
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Bruckner did not know beyond the stones he lifted into place that surety in their falling falling might be haphazard not sure there in the false step it is is not a step step to avo avoid id the buil builder der stum stumble bless fortuitous in mis stepping the many steps that wind they take the breath away from the building these these are are the stra strands nds of of faith faith what what is beli believ eved ed belief belief is for for the the buil builder der what what he buil builds ds is more more than than any any fait faith h no longer longer his he moves away incredulous his single single faith faith is is not not enoug enough h he did did it it all that that shoul should d be known known not knowin knowing g apart from what was imagined
the cathedral not the
the builder builder owns owns no power power it flows flows through through beyon beyond d him him subsid subsides es in in what what is is buil builtt
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T HEODORE E NSLIN lives in Milbridge, Maine, where he is working on a 20cd series series of readings readings from his work of the past sixty sixty years. years. Any Any indiv individu idual al or institution interested in receiving a package of these cds, please contact Michael Kuhni at
[email protected].
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