The Ultimate Guide to Getting Over Depression V2

Be a positive thinker Become more optimistic Do something new or travel somewhere Talk to a close friend

You heard them all You applied them all and they all didn’t work

M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Introduction .................................................................................................................5 Positive thinking, ‘money isn’t everything’ and true happiness ...................6 We are different ......................................................................................................7 Happiness Fades Away .........................................................................................7 Positive thinkers and dreamers ...........................................................................8 Isn’t there a white knight?.....................................................................................9 Why do we feel bad? ..............................................................................................11 Imbalance in brain chemicals, who cares??? ..............................................12 Unsolved problems, the key ..............................................................................13 Ignoring the signals ..............................................................................................14 Monitor your feelings ...........................................................................................16 Suppressed emotions ..........................................................................................17 The resultant mode ..............................................................................................18 The autopilot ..........................................................................................................19 Dealing with bad moods ........................................................................................21 Depression and taking actions ..........................................................................22 How to take actions to face depression .........................................................24 Feeling bad even after taking action ..............................................................25 Is it buried in your Subconscious mind? ..........................................................26 When your belief system is modified ...............................................................27 Your belief system ................................................................................................28 Perspective dependent judgment ...................................................................31 Keeping yourself busy .........................................................................................33 Dealing with the wrong issues ...........................................................................34 When he deceives you .......................................................................................36 Make a list of what bothers you y ou ........................................................................38 Unmet needs and your past ...............................................................................39 Inner conflicts ........................................................................................................41 Why am I feeling bad? ........................................................................................43 Emotional multipliers ............................................................................................44 Stress is the opposite of happiness ...................................................................44 Dealing with stress ................................................................................................45 Why do people fail to deal with stress? ...........................................................48 Mood swings ..........................................................................................................49 How to get over mood swings ...........................................................................51 Emotional sensitivity and bad moods ..............................................................52 Waking up feeling depressed ...........................................................................53 Other reasons for feeling bad when waking up ............................................55 Depression and anger .........................................................................................55 Emotional emptiness............................................................................................58 Dealing with suppressed emotions ...................................................................60 M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Know your enemy ................................................................................................63 Preventing bad moods ...........................................................................................65 Preventing Depression .........................................................................................66 Problem solving and bad mood accumulation ............................................67 Get those chemicals ...........................................................................................68 Acceptance redefined .......................................................................................71 Uncertainty prevents acceptance ...................................................................72 The Media ..............................................................................................................74 Start moving now!! ................................................................................................76


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Introduction


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Positive thinking, ‘money isn’t everything’ and true happiness Years ago, whenever I felt bad I always started searching searching the internet to understand the bad feelings feelings I had. However, every time time I searched for happiness, happiness, how to get over bad moods or depression I always found the same things said said by everyone on the web. Be a positive thinker, money is is not everything, true happiness is connected to your higher h igher self , and happiness is is not related to what you have. While some of these concepts concepts might work for some people, they are surely worthless for others who try to apply them. If you have certain beliefs about life like believing that money is not important, then the “money is not everything” concept might work for you, but if you are like most people who think that money is important , then thinking positively for 100 years won’t change your mood the slightest bit. If you want to be rich to satisfy your ego , then nothing in the world will make you happy except becoming rich and if you were depressed because because your wife left you , then the “true happiness” happiness” concept will be something that annoys you instead of making making you feel f eel better. The problem with these concepts is that they suit certain certain people and not everyone, but unfortunately on the internet everyone writes what works for them on their website and assumes that it will apply to everyone else in the world. If you have a big dream that you weren’t able to fulfill, then true happiness is is to make this dream come come true. Thinking positively, letting go or forgetting about it will only result in suppressed emotions that will make your life even worse. I am not underestimating underestimating the power of positive positive thinking . I even have several articles on my website on this very topic but what wh at I wanted to say was that positive thinking is never the solution but only something that can help you along your way while while implementing implementing the solution. What most people mistakenly do is think that positive positive thinking is the solution then depend on it 100%, which of course results in a worse mood few days later. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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We are different If you believe in Buddhism then Buddhism principles principles will only work for you but they will never work for someone someone else. If you believe that having a big house, a big car , and a wonderful wife is not important then not having them might not make you sad but it might make other people very depressed. We are different and we all have different sets of beliefs. That’s why not everything will work for all all of us. You can’t apply something that makes makes someone happy to yourself simply because you have a different belief system and if you tried to adopt his, you will only end up confused and feeling worse. Some people keep ignoring their real needs and wants by fooling themselves for years and years. Those people hear about a new concept concept to them like “Money is not everything” and then live with it for the rest of their lives, but inside they feel very bad because because their subconscious mind only wants the money and nothing n othing else. If you are among those who have been fooling themselves then know that true happiness and the cure for depression depression only on ly lies in knowing exactly what you want so that you can fight for it, other than that you will be seriously fooling yourself.

Happiness Fades Away Most people claim that happiness rises instantly after making an achievement then drops again after getting used to this achievement. While part of this is true, true, still the other part is completely completely wrong. If for example you had no problem in life other than loneliness which resulted in making you depressed, will your happiness fade away a few weeks after becoming a sociable sociable person with a lot of friends? friends? Of course it won’t, but instead your base level for happiness will rise up and your normal state after getting used to these new changes will be a much better mood than the one you used to have. Each one of us has a normal happiness level or a set point, but contrary to common beliefs this set point can be changed and our normal happiness levels can be adjusted. adjusted. After a small small event that results in making making you a bit happier , like watching a funny movie , your mood might return back to its M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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usual set point, but after making a big life achievement, such as making friends after being lonely for years, your happiness set point will change!! So small actions, little positive surprises, and good life events that th at aren’t that big will only make you happy for few hours or even days, but in the end your happiness happiness levels will return back to the set point. On the other hand, big actions, strong positive surprises that can affect the rest of your life and achievement of goals that you have always been dreaming of will definitely change your happiness set point forever. Many researchers claimed claimed that after winning the lottery lo ttery your mood will return back to its set point and your life will return to normal; however, those researchers took a generalized view of the situation situation by assuming assuming that all people in the world have the same same beliefs and problems. problems. If someone who wasn’t in big need of money won the lottery then his mood might return back to normal within a few weeks, but if someone who was living in poverty for 10 years won the lottery then his life will definitely be way different than his life before that day.

Positive thinkers and dreamers Being a positive thinker is among the most popular advice people give everywhere for dealing with with bad moods. From amateur bloggers to PHD holders, everyone tends to talk about the benefits of positive thinking in one way or another. I strongly agree that positive thinking is effective and that it can give you a mood lift and am personally amongst those who preach it but what I don’t agree with is how everyone defines positive positive thinking according to their own perspective. perspective. Some people claim claim that positive thinking thinking is the solution to all mood problems and that those thoughts alone can prevent you from feeling bad and save save you from depression. depression. This is totally wrong because the more you depend on thoughts instead of actions the more you will become a dreamer. Positive thinkers work their way through their problems and try to maintain a healthy pattern of thoughts that help them withstand bad situations . Dreamers on the other hand do nothing, stay in bed and try to solve their problems by thinking positively.


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If you are ignoring your problems, or if you don’t have enough courage to face your fears , then positive thinking won’t help out, but instead you might lose hope as time passes and become depressed. Dealing with bad moods and especially depression depression requires strong actions and hard work instead of just simple modifications modifications to thinking th inking patterns. Positive thinking is very powerful and can help you along your way but depending on it alone will only result in disappointment.

Isn’t there a white Knight? Just as we lose lo se hope when we become depressed , we also become full of hope that someone might might show up and save us. The hope we have this time is not that our plans work but it’s rather the hope that somebody will show up out of nowhere and help us!! Some people start hoping that conditions conditions might change while others start to wait for some kind of a savior savior who helps them out. Whether it’s a white knight, a wise man, or a close friend, people keep waiting and waiting for this figure who never shows up. Our moods are our responsibilities, our patterns of thinking and our coping strategies are are what resulted in our current feelings feelings now. It’s our actions, behaviors, and decisions that led us to experience experience such feelings and nothing else. The idea of waiting waiting for a white knight provides a great relief to people because for them it means that they have done their homework and the only task they should be doing now is to wait. While this defense mechanism appears to be powerful as it removes all the guilt and all the work of having to solve a problem and take an action, it still helps the person see himself as victim and not as one o ne who has control over his life. life. Once you see yourself yourself as a victim you will accept accept the worst conditions in the world without moving a finger to face them or to get out of what you’re into. The white knight you are waiting for will never show up, those people you are expecting to help you might not even notice you, and the savior you are waiting for will never come. come. In dealing with bad moods you are the white knight, you are your own savior, and you are the only one who can help yourself get out of this.


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I do believe in God . I even wrote a book that provides scientific proofs for the existence of God but I don’t believe in staying in bed and waiting for an angel to help you with your problems. problems. Pray to God as much as you want but do it while taking actions, while working , and while doing the best you can to help h elp yourself. If you really want to see the white knight who will save you go to the nearest mirror and take take a look. There you will find the reflection reflection of the only person who can help you fight your bad feelings.


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Why do we feel bad?


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Imbalance in brain chemicals, who cares??? If you typed the word “Depression” in any query on the internet you will end up with the t he same phrase “Depression “Depression is a result of imbalance in brain chemicals” and as it appears from this statement, the only solution is find a way to balance brain chemicals, which which is to live on o n medication forever or until your brain’s chemical balance is restored. Let’s suppose your hands were were broken. Is it logical to keep consuming consuming pain killers without putting putting your hands in a cast? cast? No, it’s not because because by consuming consuming pain killers you are only dealing with the symptoms of the broken hand which is pain, but you are actually never dealing with the root cause, and so the problem (the pain) will never go away. Who cares about brain chemicals if there is another root cause that resulted resulte d in this imbalance in the first place? The imbalance in brain chemicals chemicals that everyone is talking about is only a symptom of the real thing that resulted in making you depressed. depressed. Medication Medication is not a solution for depression. It’s just a pain killer that can help you feel good while finding the solution, but unfortunately many people don’t understand depression and think that medication is the ultimate way to alter the brain brain chemicals. Yes medication medication can alter brain chemicals chemicals and restore the balance, but unless the root cause is removed, the brain itself will cause another imbalance as soon as the effect of the t he medication goes away. If you have a cup with a hole h ole, then filling the cup 100 times is not the solution to keeping the cup full , but instead, instead, fixing the hole will do it. Those who depend on medication alone are doing exactly the same as a person who left the cup with a hole under the tap in order to keep it full. Yes the cup will be kept full but as soon as the water supply is cut the cup will become empty in seconds. Forget about the imbalance in brain chemicals and start focusing on finding the reasons that caused caused that imbalance. imbalance. If on your way you feel that you can’t tolerate the pain then taking medication medication might be a good idea, but again remember that it’s a temporary fix and not n ot the solution. You might have also come across the fact that depression is caused by environmental factors and and genetic tendencies. tendencies. While this is true, genetics genetics alone can’t cause depression. depression. Genetics only make you vulnerable vulnerable to M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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depression depression if you didn’t manage your emotions well or if you’re coping strategies weren’t weren’t effective. This means that your life skills, skills, the way you handle problems, your interpersonal skills and your emotions management skills are what can cause depression even if you have genetic tendencies. Some people stop searching for more information about depression when they encounter this iinformation. nformation. Just as people can victimize victimize themselves by waiting for someone to help them, they can also do it by building a false belief such as “Nothing can be done about it”. Again genetics are not responsible for your feelings; you are the one who didn’t know how to deal with your own genetics in order to prevent depression. depression. Whomever you try to blame won’t be responsible responsible for your bad feelings. feelings. Only you can can change them. them.

Unsolved problems, the key What happened the last time you touched a hot object by mistake? Didn’t you feel pain and pull pull your hand back quickly? quickly? Your body was designed to protect you from whatever might cause harm to you and so it constantly keeps sending sending you signals about about the dangers it encounters. encounters. If for example your hands encountered a very hot object a signal is sent to your brain saying that this object might damage your skin and that your hand must be removed. This signal is not sent in English or in any other language but it ’s sent as pain that is felt in the area that is is exposed to the hot object. This is how your body operates; it uses pain as a message to tell you that something is going wrong. Now what if you ignored that signal and acted as ifif it was not there?? Your hand might be be burned, its shape will deform deform , and it will no longer function properly. Your subconscious mind doesn’t only send signals when there is a physical physical pain but it also sends a signal signal when there is an an emotional pain. What do you think the emotions you get everyday everyday are? Fear, anger, shame, shame, doubt, depression, sadness, mood swings , and hatred. hatred. Are they the result result of imbalance in brai brain n chemicals? No they are the result of a different different kind of imbalance that is taking place somewhere in your life , and by sending such signals, your mind is begging you to take action just like it begs you to remove your hand when you touch a hot object. o bject.


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If at any moment in your life, you didn’t find yourself feeling happy and relaxed then know that you are being sent a signal by your mind and that responding to it is the only way to get over the bad mood you are in. Taking medication in such a case is similar to keeping your hand on the hot object but taking pain pain killers in order to stop the pain. By doing so you are ruining your messaging system and you are fooling your body to think that you are ok but in reality, your hands are still burning!! I am sure you never n ever were happy then suddenly started feeling bad and depressed. I am not referring to mood swings here because because I will explain explain the reasons behind mood swings later in this book, but I am referring to sadness or depression depression that happen without without any reason. I am sure you never were happy then suddenly became depressed without any apparent reason. Something must must happen before you feel feel bad, you can’t just turn from happiness h appiness to sadness or depression depression before something happens. Even if it happened suddenly, it’s because of a bad thought that passed through your mind so quickly that th at you didn’t notice it ; or even if you went to sleep at night feeling good , then woke up feeling feel ing depressed, it’s because of the bad dreams you had or the problems your subconscious mind remembered while you were asleep. Unsolved problems might be unmet goals, dreams that you weren’t able to fulfill, big issues that you are ignoring , or problems that you are escaping. escaping. As long as your are operating operating near your norms and as long as everything is ok you are going to feel good , but as soon as a problem appears you are going to be feeling bad or depressed unless you take action. In summary all the bad feelings you experience are nothing more than signals sent by your brain asking you to take actions and to resolve the issue in order for the bad feelings feelings to disappear. Whether it’s guilt, sadness, sadness, a bad mood, mood swings, or even depression, taking an action and responding to these signals is the only thing that can make you feel good.

Ignoring the signals Most of us have been raised in a culture that gives high importance to sick leaves. When an employee calls calls his manager saying saying that he is very ill, his M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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manager, if he is a good goo d manager, usually responds by saying that the employee doesn’t have have to come in to work. Physical illness is is given very high weight and is respected by everyone when present; however, mental illness which is much more dangerous than physical illness is ignored by almost everyone. What do you think th ink your manager’s response would be if you called him and told him you were feeling so guilty today and couldn’t come to work? Or what if you told him that you were were depressed and and couldn’t come today? What do you think his his response would would be? Your manager will most probably respond by saying that this is ridiculous and that it’s not acceptable. acceptable. Your colleagues at work might might also make fun of you and your parents at home may tell you that you must be stronger!! This is a very weird response when knowing that almost 75% of physical physical illnesses are caused caused by mental illnesses. illnesses. Being stressed for a long period period of time may result in back pains, sickness , and heart he art disease but our cultures taught us that we must ignore mental illness as long as we can walk on our legs. Our culture has taught taught us to ignore the signals our mind sends us. us. Not only that, but it has also taught us to leave them to time to heal while the truth in fact is that time never heals, it only allows your problems to accumulate until they become unbearable. We have learned how to feel stressed and keep working, we have learned to hate our jobs and keep going everyday , and we have h ave learned to feel bad and ignore ignore our feelings. When we keep ignoring ignoring the messages our subconscious mind is sending us, it then decides to send stronger messages in order to let us respond. The subconscious mind could start by making you feel a little sad and if you don’t respond, it could then increase the intensity of the bad feelings. If you don’t respond again, it could send you some sort of ache or pain just to make you respond and if you still still don’t respond this pain might turn into a chronic pain. The biggest mistake almost everyone makes is that they try to fix this pain by dealing with the physical physical symptoms!! symptoms!! They see physicians, physicians, seek M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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treatment for back pain , and even take t ake medication medication , but they never think or know that this pain is psychological psychological most most of the time!! That’s why medication medication is never n ever a solution, it on only ly suppresses the symptoms but it never tackles the real problem.

Monitor your feelings The first step you must take in order to feel happy h appy , and in order to combat all the bad moods, is to monitor your thoughts and feelings continuously. Your ear was designed to ignore repetitive repetitive sounds as if they were not present, and your nose n ose was designed to get used to the bad smells so that you don’t notice them after a while , and the same goes for your mind. If you keep ignoring ignoring a certain certain signal signal , you might get used to it and think it’s normal , and that’s why some people have beliefs such as: • • • • • • • •

Life is not fair You must suffer in order to get what you want No pain no gain If everyone is suffering then we don’t have a choice but to suffer Everyone hates their job I can’t quit my job now just because I hate it or can’t stand it Love hurts Suffering is a normal part of life

Such beliefs didn’t appear until people started ignoring suffering thinking that it was a normal part of everyone’s life and that there is nothing that can be done about it. I am not saying that you can live without without feeling bad nor stand against God’s will , but at least you have the right to push away everything that hurts you or makes you feel bad and take actions instead of ignoring it. By learning how to monitor your feelings you will discover two things, first there are certain things that make you feel bad and second there are already some bad feelings that you are living with but were never paying attention to. As for the things th ings that make you feel bad, you must try to eliminate them as soon as you can. If they are essential and you can’t can’t stop doing them right away (if it is your job that is making you feel bad for example) then you must write a plan that includes getting rid of that issue issue on the medium term. For example, write write a plan that involves moving to another job job within M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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the next three months. Even if your job makes you feel feel bad, knowing that these bad feelings are temporary will make them come to an end. When you were starving the whole day your hunger would decrease the moment you take the first bite, not because your body had enough nutrients but because your mind knows that hunger is going to be over soon so it has withdrawn withdrawn the signals. When you write a plan plan or take an action you send a signal to your mind saying “Don’t worry I will deal with this issue; please withdraw the bad feelings” As for the other set of bad feelings you were were living with, you will most likely discover that they are small issues that make you feel bad just because they have always been there. For example example this could be the the uncomfortable chair you sit on every day, the slow computer you use , or the bad feelings you get when when you don’t sleep well at night. Eliminate Eliminate those factors and you will feel happier right away.

Suppressed emotions When we keep ignoring a signal that is being sent to us , our minds find no other way but to suppress the bad emotions so that they don’t bother us again. This also happens when when we get hurt and and find it intolerable intolerable to handle the pain pain that resulted from the the hurtful situation. situation. People who were abused by close family members or who were treated badly by their parents usually usually suffer from intolerable intolerable levels of hurt. As a defense defense mechanism the subconscious mind tries to suppress the emotions and bad feelings so that they don’t hurt the person again, but does this th is really work? The problem with the process of suppressing suppressing emotions is that it never nev er results in removing the pain but it just helps in changing the bad feelings from one form to the other. Some people keep suppress suppressing ing the feelings of anger, as you will see later in the book, until it turns to depression. depression. Some people keep suppressing suppressing hatred towards to wards their parents until they end up with a bad temper. Don’t you meet people who who lose their temper at the slightest thing and and who keep shouting shouting all the time?? time?? Those are wounded people who haven’t dealt with their wounds wo unds correctly until it resulted in tremendous suppressed suppressed anger that leaks out every ev ery now then. Suppression Suppression can also result in an emotion like like fear. A guy who was always abused as a child and was always treated with disrespect by his colleagues might suppress suppress the emotions he felt at the time but as a grown up he might suffer from an unexplained fear of his peers or from those of M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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his same age. Not only that but suppressed suppressed emotions can start to change from the emotional form to the physical physical form thus th us causing damage to the body!! Many of the stomach aches, headaches headaches, and digestion problems you get are nothing more than manifestations manifestations of the suppressed emotions in a different form. If you had several fights with your boss or had a terrible week you might find yourself catching a cold a few days later. Why did you get a cold that day and how is it related to the situations that happened? Simply, the suppressed suppressed emotions emotions weakened your immune immune system until you became vulnerable to the bacteria present everywhere around you and so you got ill. Suppressed Suppressed emotions might become dormant and stable until un til a certain trigger results in their explosive release which usually involves great suffering and pain. pain. This is what happens when someone someone who was abused by his family members as a child also faces an abuse attempt as a grown up. In such a case the suppressed suppressed emotions will resurface and create tremendous amount of anger that will turn into depression if not expressed. So suppressing suppressing these emotions is isn’t n’t by any means a healthy practice. practice. The only thing that suppressing suppressing emotions does is that it delays del ays the pain until it’s too big to be suppressed then starts being released in different forms.

The resultant mode The current feelings you have are the result of all of the good and bad things that ever happened to you in in your life. For example, if two years ago you had decided to join another college other than the one you are currently at then your current feelings might have h ave been very different from how they are now. The fight you had yesterday yesterday with your close friend is currently affecting your current mood and you might have been feeling differently if it didn’t happen. happen. Your parked car that needs to be fixed is currently affecting your mood, even though you have no idea that it is. What I’m trying to say with these examples is that your current feelings are the result of all your past experiences, choices, and decisions. What this means is that by changing any simple small factor in your life you will be changing your mood. Haven’t you experienced experienced a day where you were feeling horrible and then something something small happened that changed your mood?? mood?? Even if this small small thing didn’t fix your big problems, problems, M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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it still helped to change your current mode which resulted in making you feel better. This doesn’t mean that you should shoul d forget about the big issues and focus on the small ones , but it means that fixing any small issue will give you a mood boost that will help you you deal with the bigger issue. issue. This small action or thing might be as small as fixing your mobile keypad or even cleaning cleaning the unused icons on your desktop. The reason for this th is is simple; whenever you encounter a small problem in addition to the big ones that you already have , your bad feelings are going to grow exponentially. exponentially. This is great news for all all those who feel bad, simply simply because by doing small things that are within your reach you can help yourself feel much better. Stop reading now and make a list of all of the small items you can change over the next few weeks. Every day change one single single thing that you can and within a few days you will experience a great mood shift. Of course it won’t be enough to make you feel very happy but it will help you get over the down feelings that are currently holding you from taking big actions. Moreover when you start taking these small small actions your mind will start to build a momentum for taking actions and you will w ill find yourself motivated to take new actions everyday. everyday. Haven’t you ever decided decided to put three or more items in your room in their place then ended up cleaning up the whole room?? When we start to take an action action and keep repeating repeating it , we generate enough momentum to help us support the continuity continuity of this action. Taking simple simple small actions will help you you take the bigger actions easily and will help you regard taking actions to help yourself as a habit h abit instead of something hard that should only be done when you are totally broken.

The autopilot Most of us wake up every e very morning, have our breakfast, go to work, come back from work, do anything anything then go to sleep. We have learned how to have unbreakable patterns and habits that we keep doing everyday without even questioning questioning their impact impact on our moods. Moreover, people M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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didn’t just stop at doing the same actions but they have moved further to acquiring the same set of beliefs that everyone else has to live with for the rest of their lives. l ives. A simple conversation with any person in the world might show you the severity of the impact this autopilot mood has h as on his life: Me: Hey pal why are you you feeling bad today? A friend: I hate my job, I just can’t stand it Me: Why do you hate it? The friend: I hate dealing with angry customers Me: Then why don’t you search for another job? The friend: C’mon, all work requires requires dealing dealing with customers ! false belief The friend: and it’s really hard to find another job ! false belief The friend: and you know what, no one is happy with his job anyway, it’s just not possible possible ! false belief The friend: You must suffer before you can have a good post ! another false belief Me: ……….. As you can see from the conversation, the friend is on the autopilot mode thinking that this is how life should be. His style of life is based based on the actions that he has learned to do each morning in addition to the false set of beliefs he has acquired. Before my friend can make any changes that will help him feel better he must first admit admit that he is running on the autopilot mode. As soon soon as someone admits such a fact they can then be open to discussion discussion about how they can break free from f rom such patterns. I am not saying that you should not do the same things everyday but what I meant was that if you are doing something that you hate everyday then you must replace it by something that you like or at least something that you don’t hate. Examine your life and find out what autopilot activities you are engaged in that reduce your mood and then decide how you are going to change these activities or even stop doing them.


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Dealing with bad moods


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Depression and taking actions So what is depression, depression, really? Why does your mind mind send you such powerful signals when when something happens? happens? And why doesn’t it send send you something like sadness or even a mood swing instead of sending you something as powerful as depression?? depression?? If your mind realized that you are facing a problem that can be solved by taking a certain action then it will w ill send you bad mood signals or some sadness , but if your mind found that you are facing a problem that appears to have no solution then then it will send you depression. depression. In other words:

If for example, someone doesn’t like his looks and feels that he’s ugly then he will most probably feel depressed because he will be thinking that his problem can’t be solved solved or that there is nothing to be done about it. On the other hand if a girl, who doesn’t have any self image issues, recently had some acne appearing on her face she will feel bad but will never feel depressed. This is because she knows that there are a lot of actions that she could take to solve this problem and that sooner or later she will deal with it. In order to get over depression you have two options, o ptions, either to start taking action towards solving this problem or to find a way to restore hope. Therefore since depression depression ruins people’s lives, combating it by taking the actions that you you can do right away is a very wise wise thing. That’s why I strongly recommend doing both things when dealing with your depression. You might be asking asking yourself, “But hey, if the t he problem can’t be solved then what actions should I take?” Asking yourself yourself this question question is pretty normal but there is something that you need to consider, and that is, the reason you asked yourself yourself that question. People become depressed depressed when they think that they are facing a problem that can’t be solved.


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So it’s the perceived situation that results in depression and not the real thing. For example, suppose that a guy likes a girl but read about love body language signs signs on the internet that that she’s done none of. This guy might become depressed, but but what if the article he read was written by an amateur who knows little little about body language? language? And what if the girl really likes him?? him?? In this case the person has become depressed depressed even though his problem is solved, but it’s his h is perception of the situation that made it appear as if there is no hope. Should that guy start taking taking medication?? medication?? Is medication medication the solution to this problem? And what if this girl girl told him that she likes him, won’t he feel good again? Sure he will, and that’s why why medication medication is never a solution but only a temporary fix. So back to the guy, what could he do in order to deal with his depression?? The guy must examine the situation millions of times until he really discovers whether there is is a solution or not. If he realizes that there is a possible solution he should then use tools such as positive thinking or faith in order to raise hope. If he realizes that there is no solution he should move on to accepting accepting what happened. happened. Acceptance is is not being defeated, it’s not surrendering, and it’s not losing l osing hope but it’s deciding that your problem can be solved in a way that is different from the way you wanted and work on that new solution. solution. In that case, this guy should look for someone else rather than staying depressed depressed at home. What I’m trying to say is, doing new things, changing your life l ife style, doing the things that you love, and keeping yourself busy might help a little l ittle but these things will never help help you get over depression. depression. They might reduce the severity of the symptoms but they will never help you get over your depression depression on their own. The biggest problem problem most people do is is run to these things as soon as they get depressed. depressed. Don’t you always hear such phrases from people feeling bad or bored : • • •

I am feeling bad, I want to do something new I really need to travel, can’t take this feeling of boredom anymore I need to make some changes to my life style, I am bored of my life

Those people do nothing but escape from the real problem for a while until the new change they have introduced is over, then go back to find M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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the same unsolved problem problem two times bigger. bigger. If you were depressed because you think that you lack l ack self confidence, is it wise to travel for two weeks in order to feel good? Yes you will feel good while while traveling but as soon as you get back home you will find that th at your problem is still waiting for your and that it’s become bigger.

How to take actions to face depression? A married man with 2 children depended on his salary to meet the needs of his family. This man used to hate his job job so much to the extent that he felt depressed just just because he wished to quit quit this job. Unfortunately, the man doesn’t have any other source of income and leaving his job is not an option because he won’t be able able to find money to feed his family. family. This man has been depressed for 2 years and hates his life, he feels horrible h orrible before, after , and during work.

What should this man do? First, he has to take action: Starting to look for another job is the first first thing that he should be be doing. If he couldn’t do this because because he doesn’t have enough qualifications then starting to learn new skills that will help him to find another job is the first step he could be doing. If he was still depressed because because he had no time to learn learn new skills then starting to learn l earn how to manage his time is the first step to take. Whatever the starting starting point is, it won’t matter, what really matters is responding to the pleas of your subconscious subconscious mind by taking an action that will result in solving the main problem. •

1) Raising hope: Depending on his culture and background background the person must find the most suitable way to raise his levels of hope; h ope; positive thinking, talking to positive people, praying or faith are among the things that can help you raise your levels of hope. Believing in God of o f course is the strongest and the most powerful one, but unless a person believes in God, this won’t work. What’s really important is to find a way that can help you restore your hope. Music can also help you, but not just any kind of music; motivational songs and songs with positive lyrics can help you feel some hope. 2) What ifif there was no solution: solution: like the given example, example, this this was the only company company in his town? What would be the solution? solution? The man should then accept accept what happened. Acceptance Acceptance here doesn’t doesn’t M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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mean that he stays depressed saying saying “ok I accept”. Acceptance here means accepting the fact that his town is not a suitable suitable place that could help him live happily and hence he should start thinking of leaving off to another place. As you can see the man was depressed because of two main reasons : 1) He thought that his problem can’t be solved and, 2) He wasn’t taking any actions to solve it. Finding hope can help the person person change the first belief and taking actions can help him get rid of his problems and therefore his depression. In summary, taking taking action is the only o nly way that can help you get over your depression. depression. If you don’t know what to do then search the internet internet ; if you didn’t find your answers then ask the experts; if you didn’t find experts then ask God. It won’t really matter what action action you take as long as you actually do. If you have a big problem then stop reading right now, and go to a clam place where you can write down the action plan you are going to take to solve your problems to get over your depression. depression.

Feeling bad even after taking action What if you started taking actions but found yourself still feeling bad or depressed? This usually usually means that the actions you took are not strong enough to convince your subconscious subconscious mind that they can solve your problem. As soon as the subconscious mind is convinced convince d that your actions are adequate, your depression depression will drop in half and could even disappear. Suppose that someone was depressed because because he was unable to meet the financial financial goals he has always dreamt of. If this guy started another part time job in addition to his main job, he might stay depressed because because what he wanted was a lot l ot of money that th at was enough to make his dreams come true and not just enough to meet his his daily needs. If instead this man took another step and joined two of his friends to start a new private business, he would only stay depressed if he didn’t believe in the new business. On the other hand he would feel absolutely absolutely great if he believed that it could bring him the amount of money he wants. Haven’t you ever felt guilty for doing a certain certain bad habit, and your guilt didn’t disappear disappear even when you stopped doing doing it for a few days? This M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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happens because the subconscious mind doesn’t believe that stopping for a few days will result in quitting, however, if you managed to stop for 2 weeks then this might send a signal to your subconscious that you are serious and your guilt will then disappear. disappear. So as not to get me wrong, taking action action won’t let your depression depression disappear disappear unless your actions are convincing enough to your subconscious mind. After all, it’s it’s the subconscious mind that brings brings you the bad emotions. If you managed to reassure reassure it your depression depression will go away in a matter of seconds.

Is it buried in your Subconscious mind? Lots of people are depressed without understanding understanding why , thinking there were no specific specific reasons. They wake up every day feeling bad, bad, they live a horrible life, and just don’t know why they are feeling like this. The truth is their conscious mind doesn’t know but their subconscious mind knows the reasons well and it’s hiding them from it. When you keep ignoring your problems and acting as if they are not no t there your subconscious mind mind might try to bury these problems, but but the problem is that it never succeeds in in doing this perfectly. When a problem is buried buried in the subconscious mind it always results in bad feelings, mood swings , and depression depression that attacks the person out of nowhere. It’s very normal for someone who has ignored a problem for a long period of time to go to sleep feeling good then to wake up feeling horrible and depressed. People who have lost hope ho pe might bury their problems thinking that they’ve done their best. A person person who was once lively and full of dreams might have buried his dreams after the first or the second failed attempt. Some people are depressed because they’ve buried their dreams, their goals, and their purpose in life by thinking that they are victims and can do nothing about it. it. If you want to get over depression depression then you must go back in time and remember your pattern of thinking before you got depressed. You will most probably probably realize that you have lost hope and buried some of your dreams because you thought you might not be able to make them come true. In such a case getting over depression depression is not as hard as you think . It all depends on whether you’ll have enough courage to get these buried dreams out or not. Get a paper and and a pen and go to a calm place M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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where you can dump all all the dreams you had buried buried long ago. And on writing and recalling them, know that fighting for them once more is the only way that can make you happy again because these dreams are your mission in life. If a guy who kept dreaming of becoming a millionaire realized as soon as he encountered the job market that his salary alone can never make him a millionaire, he might get depressed depressed and bury his dream. He’ll stay depressed as long as his dream is buried in his subconscious mind ; but as soon as he revives his dream, he’ll fill his subconscious mind with hope once again and will be taking his first step towards a happy life.

When your belief system is modified Learned helplessness is is a condition that th at happens when a person keeps feeling helpless in different situations and starts to believe that he is a helpless person. person. He then fails to solve any of the new problems problems he faces even if he was capable of doing so. The learned helplessness concept was discovered when an experiment was done on some dogs that were put in a situation that made them feel helpless for a while. They were given electrical electrical shocks with with a switch that doesn’t work. When the dogs were moved to a place place where the switch switch actually can stop the electric current, the dogs helplessly didn’t try to stop the shocks. Learned helplessness happens happens to us humans too, too , when we find ourselves helpless in many situations until we start to believe that we were meant to be helpless. When our belief system is is modified, we start start to form new beliefs that make us accept accept suffering. suffering. You might be wondering wondering why people never take actions actions to solve the problems they are are facing. Why aren’t those who dislike dislike their bodies bodies motivated motivated to lose weight? Why aren’t those who hate their jobs jobs motivated to search for new ones? And why aren’t those who hate h ate something about themselves motivated to change it? This is basically because their belief systems were modified modified to believe bel ieve that what’s happening to them is unavoidable and nothing n othing can be done about it.


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Some start to believe that their abilities are not enough to let them reach what they want; others think that life is unfair ; and a third group of people believe that what they wanted to achieve was not possible from the beginning. What’s really dangerous about these modifications modifications in your belief system is that not only does it make you a victi v ictim, m, but it also makes you believe that you were meant to be a victim. Once your belief system is modified, you start to deal with suffering as if it was a normal, unavoidable un avoidable daily activity. You start to feel depressed depressed and you start to accept the fact that your dreams were not meant to be true. Depression Depression is not no t related to lacking self confidence by any means, but when people start to lose hope, h ope, they form limiting beliefs that also affect their self confidence dramatic dramatically. ally. When your self confidence decreases, decreases, you might start to believe that your problems have no solutions because you’re no good or because you there’s nothing that you can change. You might say this never happens to confident people, but under the effect of depression and false beliefs, your solid self confidence can be deteriorated in no time. One of the crucial steps that you must take in order to get over bad moods and especially depression depression is to identify all of the false beliefs and limiting beliefs you a acquired cquired and get rid of them. Even if you don’t manage to get rid of these beliefs, by just identifying them and being aware of their existence you’ll be preventing preventing them from affecting you strongly.

Your belief system Some people think that beliefs can’t be changed but this is totally wrong. Our belief system holds all the current beliefs that we believe in which is subject to changes and modifications as we face f ace different life events. A man, for example, may not believe that luck exists until his lazy colleague gets promoted before him ; a women might start to believe that all men are created cheaters as soon as she discovers that her husband is cheating on her.


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Lots of the major psychological psychological disorders are only the result of modifications modifications that happen h appen in the belief system. Why do you think th ink someone might dread making making a public speech? Simply because they believe that people will laugh or make fun of them and think that they’re not competent and good enough. A man may fail to succeed through his whole life just because he thinks that life is unfair; a teenager teen ager may have no friends just because he thinks that he is unattractive; and a man may suffer from a social phobia just because he thinks that people are evil. Our belief system plays a vital role in the emotions that we experience experience since every thought we think of o f must first be in our belief system before it can appear on our minds. minds. For example, ifif you don’t belief that people are evil then you won’t think that they would bully you and so you won’t fear dealing with strangers.

After knowing how critical your belief system is, doing your best to protect it from invalid beliefs should should be your goal. We're being brainwashed brainwashed everyday by our friends, colleagues, and the media. Society is always creating certain 'barriers' 'barriers' that are supposedly impenetrable to any normal human being. They are simply simply out of reach, except ifif you're a genius or very lucky. Here is a list of some false beliefs that you may have acquired throughout your life: •

•

I can't learn a new sport now; I should have started when I was a kid. It's very hard to find a decent job these days, there is no way I could ever have a proper job. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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• • • •

•

No one gets everything in life. You have to choose. When you get married you won't have time for any activities. I can't quit smoking. Even if I could, it will only be temporarily. temporarily. I'm not lucky. If I was lucky I would have had everything that I wanted. Luck DOES exist!

If you're still taking the issue lightheartedly, let me tell you a story that th at will change your perspective perspective of things. things. It revolves around around two friends: Joe and Bob, who used to hang out and an d play basketball together regularly. Joe, in particular, was taught by his parents that no one gets everything in life. Joe and Bob started applying for jobs, and - by coincidence - they both got an interview in the same company. company. After passing passing the interview, they were told that the job requires them to work 12 hours a day with only one day off per week. This meant that whoever accepted accepted the job would have to quit playing basketball, basketball, because because he wouldn’t have enough time. Joe thought: "Well, I can't get everything everything in in life. I'll accept the job and give up basketball" basketball" and so he took took the job. Bob, on the other hand thought: "No, thanks. I'm sure there's a better job job somewhere that suits suits my schedule. After all, I don't want to give up my my favorite sport”, and he didn't accept the job. After a few months, Joe started to feel that something was missing in his life. He was used to the elevated blood blood flow that accompanies accompanies regular training. His brain was used used to getting more oxygen, thinking thinking and feeling better all day. As a result, Joe started to feel feel depressed without without understanding why. He even quit his job, thinking that boredom might be causing his current state of restlessness. Stories such as these happen every day because because similar people have these similar false beliefs. Most people are unaware of their powers. Some people are held back only by these false beliefs, even though they have many abilities abilities and opportunities for advancement. They convince themselves that they are fine the way they are and that this is the way life was meant to be. They tend to describe describe life from their own unique perspective . (see the coming section, perspective dependent judgment) M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Countless people are not taking enough action to improve their lives, thinking that the only way out is through coincidence coincidence or luck. Some people are not trying to learn anything new, thinking that it's so hard to get a decent job, regardless regardless of how well they're skilled. skilled. They indulge in bad habits like smoking and drugs and think they can never give up. People quit sports and put on weight, we ight, thinking that their marriage and career should be consuming consuming all their time. time. "Well, you can't get everything everything in life, can you?" they say. Some people even go a step further and stay broken for years after breaking up just just because of false beliefs. beliefs. In my book How to get over anyone in few days, I described described how false beliefs like "He is the one" or "He is my soul mate" can prevent you from recoverin recovering g quickly. A key element in getting over breakups in a short period of time is to identify these false beliefs then deal with them. It gets really funny when people start spreading spreading false beliefs without even TESTING them. I was once seeking a certain certain computer certificate, certificate, and whenever I asked anyone , I was told that it was very hard to pass the exam. I admit that at first I started falling into the trap of believing believing them, and then I paused for a while and asked them , "What is so difficult about the exam?" exam?" You'll be astonished by the the re reply: ply: "We don't know. We never tried to take it ”. These people believed that the exam was so hard just because other people told them so! So, what can you do do about it? What's the correct correct action to take when when you get to deal with such opinions? First, you should test these opinions. If someone told you that you can't lift l ift the box over there, don't just just take his word for it, go and try yourself. yourself. Just because he couldn't couldn't lift it, doesn't mean you can't can't either. Similarly, ifif someone didn't have the qualities required to land a job, it doesn't mean that you don't either. People differ differ in their qualities, qualities, strengths strengths and weaknesses. To sum itit up: "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you're right." -- Henry Ford.

Perspective dependent judgment M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Situation 1: Person X: Hey, do you think think we can lift lift this weight? Person Y: No we can’t, can’t, it’s too heavy. Situation 2: Person A: I am planning to find a job as soon as I graduate. Person B: You are dreaming. dreaming. With the unemployment unemployment rate so high, no can one can find a job that fast.

If you were a bystander who saw the previous two situations, you may really think that in the first situation the weight was indeed too heavy and that in the second situation, unemployment unemployment was a major problem in this country. This is totally wrong, wrong, as the next few few lines will show. show. In order to get the complete picture, there is some information that you should acquire. acquire. In the first situation person Y weighs only 50 kilograms kilograms and has never played sports in his life, while person X is muscular and well built. In the second situation, person B graduated with poor grades, no computer skills, skills, and no foreign spoken languages or skills that have to do with his field, while person A is a hard worker and has lots of good qualities qualities and soft skills. Now think of what would happen if person X believed person Y and didn’t try to lift the weight; or if person A believed person B and lost hope of ever finding a job? Both these people (X&A), in spite of having the capability to do what they wanted, have thrown thrown away great chances. chances. Person X won't try to lift the weight even though he's quite capable of handling it, while person A will probably give up on his job search thinking that unemployment will hinder him although he is qualified and would woul d probably land a job with ease! The conclusion is that everyone describes describes life from their own perspective perspective and will tend to find a convincing explanation to what happened to them. A person who failed to find a job job will tell you that it's hard to find one because of the high h igh unemployment rate, while another who lost his money in the stock market will tell you that investing your money there is very risky. Similarly, someone who who wasn’t able to lift a certain weight will will tell you that it's too heavy!


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Now that you know this, you should never give much credit to people’s opinion about something. something. Just because because someone can't do something something himself, doesn't mean that you can't do it either, so if someone can't find a job that doesn’t mean mean that you won’t be be able to find one. one. Just treat the feedback you receive from other people as their opinion from their own perspective as a result to their experience and not as a general rule, otherwise you will end up failing in everything that your friends failed to do and you will miss many many chances of advancement. advancement. Don’t ever build a false belief about your abilities or skills because of others' bad experiences. Whenever you are faced with with a new belief, test it before you accept it.

Keeping yourself busy It’s really weird how advice such as “keep yourself busy” or “time is the perfect healer” have found their way through hundreds h undreds of books and websites that are supposed to teach people how to recover from bad moods. The problem with keeping yourself busy is that it distracts your subconscious subconscious mind from thinking of a solution to the th e things that really bother you and so people end up with piles of suppressed suppressed emotions that cause them to breakdown at the slightest reason. Yes time can help you forget about things in your past, but unless time passes fast, fast, your waiting period is going to be hell. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you never realized how time flew so quickly quickly and at other times you feel that that the clock is is just not moving?? Time simply simply passes fast when you are not focused and conscious of it and seems very slow when you put all your attention on it. Good times pass quickly because your conscious mind never focuses on time and bad times pass slowly because you always keep an open eye on time. This is why you don’t feel how time time passed while you were asleep, your conscious mind becomes dormant and so there is no awareness of time. So keeping yourself busy won’t work unless you are doing something that allows time to pass quickly, or else you will be keeping yourself stuck. Working, doing an activity that puts any additional stress on you, or even staying in a place that doesn’t make you feel comfortable will most likely M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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make waiting harder for you, and in such a case time will be your enemy not your healer. Physical Physical wounds might heal in time but emotional wounds are only buried. I am sure you have h ave read about child abuse and the abused child who suffers for the rest of his life just because of a wound that happened a long time ago in his past. past. Unless the survivor of the abuse meets a mental mental health professional and get his buried wounds to the th e surface, time will never heal him. What time really does is is move the wound from your conscious memory or your current awareness to your subconscious mind where it resides dormant until something activates it. Extreme sensitivity sensitivity to criticism criticism may be nothing n othing more than feelings of hurt that happened a long time time ago that were buried. buried. Sarcasm may be nothing more than suppressed suppressed anger the person is feeling because of an emotional wound wound that happened to him years years ago. These wounds could be because of his inability to reach his h is goals, not being satisfied with his life, or being treated badly by others, but whatever the reason what really matters is that this person might have h ave became sarcastic sarcastic because of something that happened to him a long time ago. So the questions are when and how to use the “keep yourself busy” advice without without causing any harm to yourself? The following are the best best practices practices that you should do when trying to keep yourself busy: •

•

•

•

Take a vacation from work and avoid all sources sources of stress (at least l east for the first few days after the bad situation has h as happened) You should have a clear plan for dealing with the problem and you should keep yourself busy along the way (since (since dealing with the issue might not take time) You should keep yourself busy by doing the activities that you like and that are not obligatory so that you can quit them whenever you don’t feel like l ike doing them. You should not spend all your day with other people, you need some time for yourself to think

Dealing with the wrong issues The more you move towards tow ards satisfying satisfying your unmet needs the more you will become happy. A perfect definition definition for happiness could could be the feeling M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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we get after satisfying satisfying an unmet need. If you were dying to be rich your whole life and suddenly win the lottery you’re going to be very happy (provided that there are no other unmet needs that you want to satisfy). If there were other unmet needs, then you may not become happy until you meet the most important important ones. You may for example, be be in need of money and feeling hungry at the same time ; in this case eating will make you feel satisfied satisfied or full but it will never make you happy. If, on the other hand, your only problem in life was to find food then eating will definitely make you happy. People become happy when they satisfy their unmet needs and the stronger the unmet need the happier the person becomes when satisfied. Suppose that a guy had never been successful in starting a relationship with a girl for the first 25 years of his life and suddenly found an amazing partner, do you think he’d be as happy as someone who found a similar girl but had many relationships relationships before? No, he’ll definitely definitely be much happier because because he was more in need of a relationship than the other one. Try to eat something when you’re not so hungry and later eat the food thing when starving starving and see the difference. difference. The more you are in need of food the tastier it will be to you. So we now n ow agree that taking the path towards satisfying your unmet needs will make you happy, but is this what everyone actually does? Unfortunately no, people move in different directions other than the ones that help satisfy satisfy their own needs based o on n peer pressure, pressure, cultural pressure, and society’s false beliefs. Let’s assume that a guy was was bullied during during all his school years. This guy will most probably have a strong unmet need of becoming powerful powerful , and specifically specifically a strong need of physical power in order to feel secure. Starting any martial art will certainly make this person become happier, h appier, give him more self confidence , and give him a strong sense of security. Unfortunately, this guy will most probably not start a martial martial art and is going to blame it on his busy working schedule . Why? Because society pressured pressured him into believing that he should ignore some of his basic needs in order to focus on his work and career. Just like we were brought up to ignore stress we were also taught to give the highest priority to work and college while ignoring ignoring the rest of our needs. Work is very important important but if M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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you have another unmet need somewhere somewhere else that is not related to work then you will never be happy. Some people have strong unmet unmet social social needs. These people only feel feel happy when they have good social relations with others; however, some of them focus on work then claim claim that there is no time to socialize. socialize. These people may excel in their jobs but will also excel in depression. Unfortunately we’ve been brought up to ignore our unmet needs and give all our attention to our careers and and studies. studies. Of course you should give your work and your studies studies enough time but this should never cause you to escape and ignore the other problems that are already there. Some people live years burying the things that bother them deep in their minds and focusing on all the wrong issues just because they don’t want to face the truth. Your mind can’t can’t be fooled and unmet unmet needs can’t be forgotten. Do whatever you want in life l ife but never bury your unmet needs behind your back and follow the herd h erd without addressing the issues that can really make you happy.

When he deceives you It feels really bad when somebody deceives deceives you but it feels even worse when it comes from a close person. You might think that I’m talking about being deceived by a friend or a partner, but I am talking about something worse, which is the deception of your subconscious mind. He thought that he loved his work and kept working more more than twelve hours everyday. Everyone used to flatter his his deep knowledge about his his job. His self confidence was mainly mainly dependent on this this type of flattery and and his psychological identity was changed from "a worthless person" to "the hard worker". But do you know what the real truth behind this is? Earlier, his subconsci subconscious ous mind recognized that he has neither friends nor good social skills. skills. After several failed attempts by the subconscious mind M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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to fix these issues issues through various v arious defense mechanisms, mechanisms, it reached a good conclusion. “This situation can’t be fixed, let’s avoid social relations completely”. But the subconscious subconscious mind knew that our friend was never going to accept this fact. fact. It may even hurt him so much much to admit that he is a failure when it comes to social relationships. relationships. So the subconscious mind mind decided to deceive him by making him believe that work wo rk is the most important thing in life and so our story began. The subconscious subconscious mind started to let that person form new beliefs about life including things like: 1- My job is the most important thing in my life 2- My major goal in life is self actualization which will only be achieved if I work for more than 12 hours a day 3- Self confidence is only dependent on career success As you see , the main aim of those beliefs was not to praise hard work, but rather to devalue social social life and friendship. The guy lived 10 years feeling happy about himself himself until one day he was invited invited to a party. And when he arrived, he discovered a lot of things about himself, that he had no friends and doesn’t doesn’t know how to deal deal with people. He discovered discovered that his hard work was nothing more but a way to hide or to avoid avo id social social situations. situation s. He discovered that he was fooled by his best friend, his subconscious mind. What about your subconscious subconscious mind? Do you think that you are currently being deceived? I will help you answer this this question by providing providing some examples of methods of deception that your subconscious mind can use against you: My sacred mission in life: Sometimes the subconscious subconscious mind devalues some other aspects of your life l ife by putting one sacred mission for you foremost and then making it seem as if it’s the only important one in life. This case is the same as the one in the previous example . Our friend's sacred mission was career success. Experience: You hear this from a lot of people people , “I don’t care about money at the moment, moment, I only want want to gain experience”. experience”. When some people find it impossible to increase their income or gain more money, M.Farouk Radwan 37 http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

their subconscious minds minds invent the “looking for experience” thing just to make them feel good goo d about themselves. Religion: I am not talking about religion religion in general but I am talking about special special cases where some people can stick to religion just because they weren’t able to find some other identity. identity. When your subconscious subconscious mind directs you to a religion just to find a group of people to belong to, then it’s another big form of deception. Some people people failed to do things things that are considered bad by almost all religions so they decided to act religious just to save their their egos. And much more: my family is my life, my children are the most important thing in my life, I don’t care about that because I only onl y want this....etc .

Make a list of what bothers you I wonder how people write their th eir New Year resolutions without including finding solutions to the things that cause them pain over and over again. All the feelings you are experiencing now, everything that has happened to you, and everything that is currently happening to you is based on one thing, the decisions you took. We’re faced every day with numerous choices and alternatives. alternatives. The decisions we make make and the routes we take are the ones responsible responsible for what happens to us in life. The pain you are currently feeling is the result of a decision that you took sometime sometime in the past, the anger that you are feeling is the result of a certain decision, decision, and even the depression you are feeling is the result of one or more decisions that you took before. If you want to be happy and satisfied you must make sure that most of your decisions decisions are supportive to your goal of becoming happy. happy. This means that becoming happy should move on from the “just a wish” phase to “it’s a goal I’m I ’m working on achieving” phase. Once happiness becomes a goal, you must give it priority simply because some people prefer to have other things th ings over happiness like financial financial security, appraisal from their bosses , or even social approval. Once you determine the importance of happiness in your life and its priority, you should then move on to a very important step, which is creating a list list of the things that bother bother you. Knowing what bothers you M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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well and documenting it will be very v ery helpful in making decisions on solving or keeping away from these these things. Personally, this this is a part of my list: • • • • •

Traveling at 5 am to go to work (I sometimes sometimes have to do this) Waking up late Ruining my daily schedule Working from an office (I prefer home) Wearing suits and formal clothes

Well, this was a part part of “The things that bother me” list. list. The list is of course much bigger than this but what matters is that I am aware of the factors that bother me so that I can avoid them. If you don’t have such a list now then stop reading and come back when you have finished writing down your list. Next, you should pass through the items items one by one and write down how you intend to avoid them completely. completely. I know that you might find an item that th at cannot be changed immediately like “I hate going to work” but even such an item can be changed on the medium term ifif you have a plan. If this was an item on my list list then the following would have been my action plan regarding it: •

• •

Determine the things that bothers me most at work and reduce them Update my CV, take new courses and upgrade my skills Start searching for a new job

So as you can see , you can stop doing what you hate gradually if it can’t be stopped immediately immediately after writing a small plan that will help you avoid it. The most important thing is to take take immediate immediate action and not just wait. Get rid of the things that bother you and your life will become much happier.

Unmet needs and your past Most of our unmet needs stem from our pasts. In the previous examples of the guy who was bullied or the guy who failed to have successful relationships it was clear that their past was responsible for their unmet needs. The man who is striving striving to become a billionaire billionaire suffered from financial financial insecurity when he was young and the man who was trying to control every single detail in his life may have suffered from lack of control as a child; the authority seeker may have been a victim who suffered from authority figures that he met earlier in his life. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Understanding yourself and your major past events that influenced your life is a crucial step in knowing what you should do in order to deal with your unmet needs. This process is much easier than it sounds, whenever you have some free time, sit alone and try to remember what your childhood was like. After doing so several times, you will start to become conscious of the things that th at you lacked as a child which became part of your unmet needs as you grew up. Your past can give give you significant insight about what you should do in order to satisfy satisfy these unmet needs and become happy. h appy. Past unfinished business is something very similar to unmet needs from the past, except that the person gets stuck for years and years trying to deal with this past issue. issue. If someone failed to deal with a certain certain type of people (lets say people from the same social class) he might try to encounter such people all his life just just to prove pro ve to himself that he can deal with them. If you think that you have some past past unfinished business business then you must take serious steps towards convincing yourself that your past is not an indication of your future and that failing to do something in the past doesn’t mean that you will will fail to do it in the future. It’s also strongly recommended to prove to yourself that you can do what you failed to do in the past. Just write write a plan for encountering encountering the correct events then then learn how to perform during these events correctly. You can’t forget about your past, but you can change your yo ur present in such a way that makes you feel good whenever you remember the memories that used used to make you feel bad. bad. It may not take a few days and it may not be that easy but if you can summon your courage you will be able to do it. Personally, I did change my past many times by changing my present. Many years ago I had deep problems regarding my lack of self understanding. I just couldn’t tolerate feeling feeling bad without without understanding why nor was able to tolerate a mood swing swing that came out of nowhere. I kept reading and learning le arning more about psychology until I acquired enough knowledge to make my website which gets more than ¼ million visits a month from those seeking seeking self understanding. understanding. Now whenever I remember my lack of self understanding problem I smile, because it’s no longer a bad memory, but it’s now one of the things that proves to me that I can do whatever I want.


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I am no special person and I don’t have superior abilities, I just had the desire to change my past past and that’s why I did did it. You too can do the same, just make the decision and look life straight in the eye. When an event reminds you of something else that happened in the past such as a song that reminds you of an old friend, this is called an anchor. Everyday we come across hundreds of anchors that keep reminding us of things that happened in in our past. Anchors are one of the main main reasons for mood swings that occur in a matter of minutes and they are the main reason for negative thinking. However, just as there are are negative anchors there are positive positive ones. If you managed to deal with your life problems problems and change the things that th at are bothering you then your negative anchors will turn into positive ones and the things that used to bother you when you remember them will now make you feel good.

Inner conflicts How many years have you been doing a certain habit that made you feel guilty every time you did did it? How many actions actions have you kept repeating but regretted doing? How many times times have you felt that you were were doing wrong or bad things? And how many times have have your ignored this inner inner voice? You might be thinking that people only feel bad because of fights that th at happen with their bosses, their friends, or their loved ones but in fact bad feelings can also come from within because of inner conflicts that happen in a person’s mind. Going against your values, doing something against your beliefs , or doing something that you consider bad might cause a huge inner conflict even if it appeared to have no effect. Some people people lie even though they know that lying is wrong; they feel bad every time they do it and they think that their subconscious mind mind will forgive them but it never does. Inner conflicts linger inside the subconscious subconscious mind and bury themselves in. They might not show up that easily but as soon as something triggers them they quickly resurface. Haven’t you done a mistake lately that made you feel so guilty even though it was a small small one? What happened was that that part of your stored guilt was released when you made the mistake and that’s why your feelings of guilt were much bigger than what they should be. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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You will be dealing with people normally, talking to them and having fun , but deep inside inside you’ll feel that you are lying to yourself. yourself. You’ll be feeling that you are not practicing what you preach and that you are not doing what you believe in. Deep inside inside your feelings of hatred towards your own self might arise, your self esteem will w ill decrease dramatically, dramatically, and yourself image will shake. You will see yourself as a liar who says things that you don’t do or someone who is so weak that you can’t apply what you believe in. Both of these images can damage your self confidence strongly, can make you feel bad, and can even prevent you from enjoying your life. Do you know what one of the main strong reasons reasons is that some people feel bad when they they age? It’s the accumulating accumulating guilt that they’ve they’ve built during their past years until they’ve ended up with with a very large pile. As people grow older, the feelings of guilt and regret keep growing with them until they reach unbearable unbearable levels. You might think that the solution solution is not at all easy, but the truth is is that it’s very simple. simple. What these people have to do is stop doing doing the things that make them feel guilt. guilt. As soon as they do, their minds will start realizing that the emotions of guilt are no longer needed and all the accumulated accumulated guilt and regret will be forgotten after a short while. Stop suppressing these inner conflicts conflicts and stop escaping them by allowing them to resurface ; only then you will get rid rid of the bad feelings. After that, you will have to decide to never go against against your values, val ues, your beliefs , and your sense of rightness. rightness. If it’s a bad habit then you must break it, it, if you got used to lying then you must stop , and if it’s anything that violates your core values then you must kill it. Resolving your inner conflicts is the first step towards tow ards respecting respecting yourself and building building self confidence. How can you have respect for yourself yourself when you can’t follow the simple simple principles principles that you believe in? And how can you feel that you are worthy when you are not even e ven able to keep your values intact?? It might not be easy in the beginning, you might not no t succeed from the first attempt, but you will notice a great progress progress happening as you keep trying. By the time you build self discipline, discipline, you will will be able to control yourself when when you need. All you have to do do is start start moving. Feeling good M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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and living a happy h appy life doesn’t require anything except a person who moves when movement is required.

Why am I feeling bad? In many cases you may not be able to identify the main reason that’s making you feel bad. I am sure you experienced a time where you were feeling bad for a prolonged period without being aware of the reason. You may have thought that you need change or that your life is boring but actually there were many reasons that you were w ere not consciously aware of that were making you feel bad. We usually don’t really feel bad because of one thing but rather, it’s a combination of different problems all together that result in a bad feeling. Out of these th ese problems there are usually ones that are called Majors which are very big problems that if solved, all other problems will appear as nothing. For example, a man got divorced and had to live live alone without his children and got depressed, depressed, and then he had an accident and hurt his leg. He might think that he is feeling feeling bad because because of the break-up and his leg. But when the relationship problem problem is solved and when he finds finds himself living happily again with his wife he will feel that a hurt leg is a small problem in view of the fact that it will to be healed in no time. So during bad times big problems are the ones really responsible for the bad feelings while other problems just increase the intensity of the bad feelings. Solving the Minors or the small small problems is definitely going to improve moods but feeling great is never going to be achieved unless those Majors are dealt with. You could have two major problems at the same time and each could be contributing to your bad feelings according to their weight and importance. Choosing which one to start with won’t really matter because getting rid of a major is something that can result in a dramatic shift in your mood. But what if you don’t really know what is making making you feel bad and you only have a list list of suspected problems?? problems?? In such a case list down these problems on a paper then start by whichever you want and keep moving from one to the other until until you solve them all. Even if you didn’t tackle the big ones as a start, your mood will keep improving as you keep solving small ones and in the end you will hit the big ones too.


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So you don’t have to know why wh y you are feeling bad in order to feel good, you just need to solve all of the suspected suspected problems one by one and you will end up feeling great.

Emotional multipliers In between the bad feelings and the unsolved problems are very tiny problems that appear to be very big under the effect of the distorted perception you have at such such bad times. What if you were feeling very happy but then your shoe lace was torn, would you feel feel bad? Of course you wouldn’t because you were already feeling happy, but under the effect of feeling down or with depression, something as small thing as this might make it seem like the end of the world. A torn shoe lace l ace won’t obviously do this alone but when combined with several small items items your bad feelings will will become multiplied. multiplied. Don’t you notice that people who are feeling feeling bad are usually usually bad tempered? Why do you think people lose their temper temper at the slightest reason? It’s because they see these slightest reasons as very big issues because because of the bad feelings they are experiencing. A torn shoe lace, not being able to find your wallet in the morning , and forgetting to bring your sandwiches sandwiches with you at work might make your day horrible even if they are very small issues that would have not affected you in other times. That’s why you should be very careful in down times by avoiding all the situations that can act as as multipliers to your your bad feelings. During down times you must make sure that all the small things that can irritate you or make you feel bad are minimized. Make sure your room is always tidy, your things are always in place, your friends who think negatively are avoided, and that you stay away away from the things things that bother you. These things won’t only help you stabilize stabilize your mood and feel better while you’re in a down time but it will also help you clear your mind mind so you can trace the root cause of your bad mood.

Stress is the opposite of happiness Stress can make you ill, affect your brain, worsen your looks, l ooks, bring to you deadly diseases , and ruin your mood. Being overly stressed stressed for just 10 minutes can can result in making making you tired the whole day!! day!! Haven’t you experienced a situation where you worked a very short time under very high stress and felt horrible horrible the rest of the day?? Stress can can also ruin your M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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mood especially especially if it lasted for prolonged periods of time. One of the main reasons that can lead to depression depression is prolonged stress or one stressor that occurs occurs on a daily basis. Moreover, stress is one of the very powerful multipliers multipliers of a bad mood. If you were feeling a little bad then then got stressed for 10 minutes you are very likely to feel horrible for the rest of the day. Feeling bad + Stress = Horrible feelings

Most people escape their problems without solving them and in addition to their life being already stressful stressful they end up feeling feeling horrible. Without stress, you could have dealt with your bad moods in a few days but stress feeds the bad mood and allows it to grow until it becomes unbearable. There are many sources of stress but mainly they can be classified classified into two major groups: external factors and and internal factors. Before we learn how to deal with both types of stress we need to first understand what causes stress. We become stressed when: •

•

•

• •

• •

•

Our mind is busy thinking about something then another issue appears. For example, when you’re very busy working working on something then suddenly your small kid starts calling you “Daddy Daddy, Daddy Daddy, check this out” When we have choices that are confusing us and we don’t know what the right deci decision sion is When we are frustrated (you want to arrive to work at 9 but the traffic jam is preventing you) Having deadlines that you can’t meet Having problems that you can’t deal with that th at you must find a solution for A big list of tasks that needs to be completed Having to make important decisions with many choices to choose from Having external factors that irritate you like the bad weather, your uncomfortable chair, your slow PC, feeling hungry or even wanting to go to the bathroom

Dealing with stress M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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External factors like poor lighting l ighting or an uncomfortable chair contribute contribute strongly to the intensity of your stress. stress. Just like some problems act act as a multiplier to the bad mood you have external stress factors that act as multipliers to the level of stress you are facing. But why does this happen? I have just mentioned to you that if your mind mind was busy thinking about something and something else interfered, you’d become stressed. stressed. In cases of external stress factors your mind becomes becomes preoccupied preoccupied with them and thus will not be able to handle other things with a clear mind. For example, in the case of an uncomfortable chair a part of your mind keeps thinking of the discomfort you are experiencing experiencing and thus making it harder for you to concentrate on your work. Now if you were working and part of your mind was partly focused on sitting in an uncomfortable chair, and another was on poor lighting, and another on your desire to eat but inability to do it right away…?? This simple and reoccurring situation can result in multiplying your stress levels by at least 10 fold and sadly this is what happens every day in our lives! Just like people became became passive when responding responding to their bad emotions, they have also learned to ignore these external stress factors without paying attention to them. The result is a mind mind focused on many stress factors factors at the same time before a person person even starts working. working. It’s no wonder then why people lose their temper at the slightest problem and why small tasks at their jobs make them stressed. This happens because they were already stressed before they t hey even started working! Fortunately dealing with the external factors that cause stress only onl y requires a few hours. Go to your room and your office or the places where where you spend most of your time and make them as comfortable as possible by doing the following: • • • • • •

•

Buy a very comfortable chair if you don’t have one Make sure your room is tidy and that everything is in place Make sure that you can find f ind whatever you are looking for easily Make sure that you have good lighting Format your computer if it’s slow and bothering you Make sure you can somehow isolate yourself from the noise (you can use ear muffs) Remove any other factor that stresses you that you have been ignoring M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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By doing these simple actions you’d have a stress free room and a stress free work environment. This won’t result in a stress stress free life but it will dramatically dramatically reduce the levels of stress that you constantly experience. Traffic jams are one of the external factors that can multiply your stress . Sometimes the stress we face with regards to our o ur work environment is not enough to make us crack but lots of people lose it on their way back home because of the unbearable traffic jams. I know that sometimes it’s it’s unavoidable to be on the street but you can at least make a few lifestyle changes that help you avoid avoid the crowd. Why hang out in a place that is far from home? Why don’t you explore explore the hangouts hangouts in your neighborhood? Why do you pick a gym that is is very far away to exercise exercise your muscles, why don’t you pick one that doesn’t require you to drive? Why do you head home at peak times, why not wait a little then go home when streets are less crowded? By making few life style changes you will be able to avoid traffic jams and your life will become much less stressful. Sometimes your mind is very much occupied with a problem that you are facing in your life which which leaves no space for anything anything new. Like for example, having chronic relationship dissatisfaction dissatisfaction or o r problems with your manager might result in making you stressed from the moment you wake w ake up until you sleep. At such times many people try to follow the deadly advice of keeping themselves themselves busy. The problem with keeping keeping yourself busy is that you get into new activities while a lingering problem is still at the back of your mind. Any slightly annoying annoying event that will happen will multiply and add on to the stress that was already present at the back of your mind. Moreover your mind will realize that you are ignoring your problems and so it will start sending you annoying signals in order to make you take actions and stop ignoring these problems. Stress can also happen when you find f ind yourself in a situation where you have to make a decision decision that might have a significant impact on your life. While this type of stress is usually strong, it still won’t really have a noticeable impact on your life because as soon as you make the decision the stress will be over. Contrary to common beliefs, beliefs, having a 100% stress free life is not good. We need to get exposed to a certain certain level of stress in in M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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order to stay motivated, to complete our work and to stay alert. alert. If you were facing a challenge that resulted in making you stressed for a few days or even a few weeks then you should not consider it a problem at all. What you should be worried about are chronic problems that result in chronic stress that lives with you. In order to get rid of all unwanted stress you you must make sure that you are making lifestyle lifestyle changes and not just just simple corrective actions. actions. For example, if you have piles of work wo rk to finish every morning then waking up late might cause a disaster. In such a case you should should modify your sleeping hours in order to make sure that you won’t be stressed the next day. If you already sleep at 12 am then start start sleeping at 10 PM and and wake up 2 hours earlier e arlier to finish your work. So to summarize summarize all this, th is, changing the external factors that stress you and modifying modifying your lifestyle l ifestyle in order to avoid stressful situations will result in a life that has very few stressful stressful events and you will become much happier.

Why do people fail to deal with stress? So if stress is that bad and if dealing with stress means you’d become happier, then why do people keep living in stressful environments even though small changes to their lifestyles can take the stress away?? The answer is very simple : these people have their priorities set in the incorrect order. The business man man works for more than 12 hours a day despite the doctor’s advice because his success has a higher priority than his own health. The guy who is suffering suffering from a very stressful job will will never quit because for him financial security is more important to him h im than his own happiness. happiness. The ‘Type A’ person person who doesn’t want to waste waste a few minutes in making simple changes to his room that th at will eventually make him feel better is doing so because time for him has higher priority priority than his own well being. What about you?? What is preventing you from decreasing decreasing your stress? stress? And what are are your priorities? priorities? Have you been been living living a horrible life for years years now because happiness and health are not on the top of your list? l ist? Unlike depression depression and other mood problems, dealing with stress is very simple simple but you just need to decide now on the order of your priorities. priorities. If happiness and health weren’t on the top of your list then don’t blame M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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yourself for living a miserable miserable life. When you have enough courage courage to put them on top of everything else you will find f ind yourself making making decisions that most people are afraid to make and you will become way happier than they are. So the question you might probably be asking is, if happiness becomes a priority then does this mean that the business man should stop working and the guy who hates his job job quit immediately? immediately? Of course not, but but if happiness becomes becomes a priority then one o ne should work on a plan that ensures his happiness while satisfying his needs at the same time. The business man for example, could stop working when he feels tired and continue working at night, another another day or even on his vacation if he wants. The guy who hates his job must start to prepare himself to move to another that is less stressful so that th at he can achieve both financia f inanciall security and happiness.

Mood swings What could make a person who was feeling good a few moments ago suddenly feel bad? Why do we sometimes sometimes wake up feeling good then a few moments later find ourselves feeling bad? What causes these sudden mood swings? In order to understand mood swings you should take a look at this th is example: Sam was feeling happy on his way to school. The sun was shining, he had a good night’s sleep, and he wasn’t wasn’t worried about anything. Sam arrived to school and found one one of his friends holding the math copybook. copybook. The second Sam saw the math copybook, he remembered that he didn’t do his math homework; this wouldn’t have been so bad if his math grades last month weren’t low. Sam started to become become worried about his math grades and the consequences consequences that could happen happen if he failed. Will his parents accept accept it? How are they they going to react to this? this? And what if he failed in other subjects? subjects? What would he do do then? As you see, Sam’s main concerns were related to the past, because if he didn’t have bad math grades in the past he might have not felt that bad. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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But what happened was that he h e has seen something that has reminded him of a past unsolved problem. Sam’s mood swing happened because because of two factors, the first is an old issue which is his bad math grades and the second is seeing the copybook , or the trigger , that reminded him of the problem. So mood swings happen when a trigger is encountered that reminds us of a dormant problem in the back back of our minds. If you were unhappy with your self image , then seeing someone who looks lo oks great might cause you a mood swing in few seconds. seconds. You might think that Sam went through this thinking process step by step but the truth is that his mood suddenly changed without even realizing realizing that th at something was happening. Most of the mood swings we experience are the result of very quick quick thoughts that pass through our minds to the extent that we don’t even notice them. Sam might have not even realized realized that he was feeling feeling bad because of the math grades but he may have just felt the swing in his mood without knowing knowing a reason for it. It’s pretty normal to find yourself feeling bad all of a sudden after a certain trigger happens without even noticing the reason for your mood swing. The story you are going to read now is another anoth er perfect example of mood swings that happen all of a sudden without having the person realize that something is going wrong: Sarah was driving her car back back home after a very long day at at work. She was feeling neither neither happy nor sad. sad. Sarah’s mind was was wandering randomly between the issues that were bothering her most, but suddenly, Sarah came across a poster of a healthy model who seemed to have an ideal weight. Since Sarah was already already busy thinking thinking of other things she didn’t pay attention to the poster but her subconscious subconscious mind did. Sarah had an obesity problem, lately she was trying trying to follow a diet but with no signs of success. success. The moment her subconscious subconscious mind noticed noticed the poster it recalled all of her failed dieting attempts and her h er mood changed slightly. Sarah’s mood change wasn’t noticeable enough and it didn’t make her feel bad. But as she kept driving driving she saw another poster which which reminded her of the unfinished tasks she had to do today and then saw a movie poster which reminded reminded her of her last breakup. breakup. She then saw a fourth item and remembered a fourth problem, and a fifth, a sixth , a seventh


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and finally she ended up feeling horrible even though she was feeling good a few minutes ago. It’s clear now that our moods swing as a result of seeing or remembering something that reminds us of some of our unsolved problems or our fears. You might think that you need to solve all your problems in order to prevent mood swings swings but this is not the only solution. If Sarah was making a good progress on her diet, even if she hasn’t lost weight yet, she wouldn’t have felt bad when seeing the first poster. Our minds make us feel bad just to motivate us to take action. action. If the action we’re taking is being done on a regular basis and we’re on our way to solving our problems then our minds won’t send us these bad emotions again. again. For that reason, you don’t don’t have to solve all all your problems in order to prevent mood swings; you just need to prove to your mind that you are taking actions. As I mentioned before, the presence of stress can result in making the bad emotions intensify. So if Sarah’s driving seat wasn’t comfortable comfortable and was hurting her back while driving, she would have become stressed stressed (since her mind is focused on the pain in her back) and her bad emotions would have intensified. intensified. All external unpleasant factors can cause stress thus giving a push to the rate with which our moods swing. swing. If you are sitting in an untidy place, if your chair is uncomfortable, ifif your car isn’t clean, if you want to go to the bathroom, or if you are hungry then your bad feelings will most probably be intensified and your mood might swing whenever you see anything that reminds you of one of your problems. In order to get over these mood swings you must deal with two factors : your thoughts and your old problems

How to get over mood swings In order to get rid of mood swings or to at least reduce their intensity intensity you must do the following: •

Make sure that you are taking actions towards solving all of the problems that are bothering you even if your progress was 1% a day. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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•

•

•

•

•

•

•

Make sure that you aren’t ignoring any problem or burying it into your subconscious mind . Make sure that you stay with the people who think positively because otherwise otherwise you may be reminded of all your problems . Reduce stress as much as you can and make choices in your life that put stress reduction as a priority. If you are an emotionally sensitive sensitive person then th en you will most likely be affected by other people’s moods even if you were w ere not facing any current problems. problems. In this case staying staying with someone who is is depressed might might depress you even if you were feeling feeling good. Make sure that you recognize your own o wn emotions and the emotions that are being transferred to you from the person you are sitting with. Learn how to monitor your thoughts very well in order to identify the triggers that change your mood so that you can avoid them . Stop chasing the things that can make you feel bad . A friend of mine lost lots of money in a stock market crash, and he checks his portfolio every few minutes and and then calculates his his losses again. If he is not going to take any decision decision today based on the information he’s collecting, he should only check the prices once per day if needed. This also happens happens when someone someone is waiting waiting for a reply from the employer that interviewed him ; he keeps checking checking his inbox every few moments to see whether he was approved or rejected. Again this is wrong and might result in mood swings every time he finds the inbox empty. In case you are are waiting for something, don’t keep checking checking every few f ew minutes especially if you had nothing in hand to do at the time. Avoid depressing songs, horror , or any type of sad movies if you are not feeling good.

Emotional sensitivity and bad moods There is no doubt that people who are overly sensitive sensitive experience bad feelings more intensely intensely than other people. Emotional sensitivity sensitivity acts as a multiplier to the intensity intensity of emotions people people feel. Whether these emotions were good or bad the result will be an increase in their intensity because of the emotional sensitivity. sensitivity. Contrary to common beliefs, emotional sensitivity can be dealt with easily. The only trick is to learn how to take advantage of the emotional M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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sensitivity sensitivity so that you experience happy feelings in a more intense way and isolate bad situations from your feelings so that th at they don’t bother you. Whether you are a sensitive person or not , bad feelings will result from the way you intercept the bad situations situations that happen. For example, anyone could forget his keys at home but for some people this might make them think they’re not focused fo cused, and as a result , feel bad. It’s your perception of the bad situation that triggers your bad feelings and not the situation itself, so dealing with emotional sensitivity can be done by changing your perception perception to situations. situations. If you managed to think of a comment such as “the other shirt looks better on you” as a compliment and not as an insult you won’t feel bad at all when you hear it. In short, learning how to monitor your self self talk and challenge it when itit becomes negative will result in making bad situations harmless. The other very important point is, if a comment such as “The other shirt looks better on you” was told to a girl who knows that she is very pretty, it won’t affect her at all even if she was very ve ry sensitive ; while if the same comment was told to a sensitive sensitive girl who has a self image problem then this might depress her. her. So the conclusion is, ifif you have an emotional wound, such as the one the girl had (thinking that she wasn’t good looking), then external comments that remind you of the wound will result in horrible feelings , especially if you were a sensitive person. To put it in another way, if you manage to heal all your emotional wounds , then your sensitivity will only show in positive things such as intense happy emotions, creativity , and empathy.

Waking up feeling depressed How many times have you found yourself feeling bad as soon as you woke up? How many times have you gone to your bed feeling good then woke up feeling bad? You might think that waking up feeling bad is something that has no big significance significance and that th at as soon as you have your morning coffee these bad feelings will go away. But the truth is that just as emotions emotions are signals, waking up feeling bad is one of these strong signals. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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As soon as you wake up your mind makes two very quick checks, the first is a check for any accumulated or carried over problems from the previous days and the other is for fo r any fears or future concerns that you have. If anything bad was found in any of the the two checks then then you will wake up feeling bad. Let’s assume that you had a breakup breakup and went to sleep. The next day when you wake up the breakup will be detected in the ‘carried carried over ov er problems’ check and you you will feel bad. But you might say, “But hey, sometimes I don’t have any problems and I still wake up feeling bad” and you are right, because sometimes you may have an old problem that is buried deep and your subconscious mind was trying to find f ind the right time to reveal it to you, because otherwise it would have caused you a lot of pain. These goals you failed to achi achieve eve 6 months ago, this bad habit you’ve been trying to quit for years , or these intense feelings of guilt are all examples of problems that could be buried deep in your subconscious mind and can make you feel bad when waking up. Don’t underestimate the effect of accumulated emotions, in my book How To Get Over Anyone in a Few Days. Days. I described how accumulated accumulated guilt can affect your own behavior for the rest of your life to the extent that it can make you unable to get over someone that you’ve been in love with for years. Not only this, but accumulated accumulated guilt can also result result in making you fall in love with someone who looks like the person you hurt before even if he wasn’t a good match for you!! The other check that your subconscious subconscious mind does is to check the worries you have about up-coming up-coming events in the future. Do you have a hard task to do that day? Are you worried worried about the outcome of the the meeting with with your manager that day? Are you you afraid of the future? All of these these fears are examples of issues that could make you feel bad as soon as you wake up. Again this leads us to the th e same point : if you are ignoring your problems, if you aren’t taking strong corrective corrective actions or if you are deceiving yourself by burying your problems deep into your mind , then the bad feelings will keep lingering every now and then. then. The solution to waking waking up feeling happy is to be brave and face your fears and the issues that you have been ignoring your whole life because these signals won’t stop unless you take action. ,


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Other reasons for feeling bad when waking up If you notice no tice the state of your muscles when feeling bad you will discover that some muscles contract contract in an unusual way. Your stomach muscles muscles , for instance , contract if you eat a lot right before before going to bed. The stomach stomach ache that you get fools your mind into thinking that you are feeling bad, and the result is feeling bad just because because of the physiological changes that happened in your body. Starting to run off as soon as you wake up is one of the things that could make you feel horrible horrible when walking up. People who jump out of their beds saying phrases like , “Omg I’m late I’m late!” or “I’ll never be able to catch the bus” will also wake up feeling bad. Make sure you stay in bed 10 minutes before you jump out. Finally, having a bad dream and forgetting fo rgetting about it in the morning could be one of the strong reasons for feeling feeling bad when waking up. Dreams affect our moods just like real experiences do and so a bad dream in the middle of the night could be the main reason for feeling bad when waking up if no other reasons were there. My advice is to learn how to fight your fears and worries and at the same time stop the bad habit h abit of leaving accumulated problems behind your back. If you do these two things, you will rarely rarely wake up feeling feeling bad.

Depression and anger Anger is an emotion that th at is created with the objective of protecting protecting your rights and your well being. being. Whenever someone tries to take over your right or harm you, your anger will be activated. So anger is a useful emotion after all, but in case it was suppressed or not expressed properly properly it might turn into depression!! depression!! Depression Depression is sometimes described as “anger turned inwards” , which means that instead of expressing anger properly and directing it through proper channels, it’s suppressed. suppressed. The suppression of anger results in an internal damage as if the anger was directed towards oneself. Anger can also be caused by fear fe ar . Why do you think most people would shout at you right right after you were going to hit them with your car? The man who was about to get hit is angry because he was afraid to die or M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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get hurt. The same happens when when a guy starts to shout at his friend friend a few minutes after making making fun of him. In such a case the guy accepted accepted what was happening in the first few minutes but then started to fear that people would stop respecting him and he got angry. In order not to make anger contribute to your bad mood you must know how to express it correctly. correctly. Expressing Expressing anger can be done in many ways depending on the type type of anger and its its cause. cause. The following are the recommended methods to prevent anger from accumulating: accumulating: •

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Being assertive: Assertiveness Assertiveness is a skill that makes you stand up for your rights whenever you feel that they are being violated, have the right to say no, have the right to be respected and to express yourself the way you want. Assertiveness Assertiveness requires that you take take immediate immediate actions when you encounter any violations of your rights from anyone around you. Assertiveness Assertiveness is a perfect way for expressing expressing anger because because it doesn’t involve shouting, screaming or treating people badly, yet allows you to take your rights back (For detailed information on how to become assertive assertive see The Online Guide to Assertiveness) Exercising: Exercising Exercising is very useful useful when you are angry at an object like being mad at your car because it makes noises. It can also be very useful right after having a fight with someone or right after something makes you mad. Express it freely: Shout, cry, scream if possible possible but don’t do itit in the present of someone. someone. Expressing Expressing your anger can be done done at home by doing any of these these actions without without harming anybody. anybody. Some people might feel comfortable after listening to certain types of music that discharges their anger, after drawing, or after singing. All of these are considered healthy ways to express anger and are advised to apply if possible. Breathe properly: This method method can work anywhere and it’s very simple. The proper way to breathe breathe is breathing breathing with your diaphragm and not your chest. Allow your stomach to go in in and out while breathing instead of your chest and you will be breathing properly. Proper breathing reduces reduces anger to a very high extent. extent. Relaxation: Whatever the undesirable undesirable emotions emotions are, relaxation relaxation can quiet it down and help help you be much much more in in control. Relaxation techniques are simple and can be applied anywhere at anytime, and by practicing they could become a normal response to events that trigger your undesirable undesirable emotions. Relaxation will will allow you to M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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have access to all your mind's resources while while anger limits them and consequently irrational irrational decisions will will be taken. All you have to do is to focus on your muscles, take a deep breath and say “relax”. You can do this by focusing focusing on one part and then the next. Like starting with your left hand, then moving on to your right hand, then moving on to your chest and so on until you relax your whole body. Wash your face: If you get angry near a place where you can wash your face, do it. it. It will reduce your anger and make make you feel calmer. Change your physical position : If you were angry while while standing, sit down. If you were angry angry while sitting, sitting, lay down Controlling your self-talk: Your self-talk is is the words and phrases that you use while you're thinking. thinking. Examples of self talk phrases are “I am sure he’ll be late as usual”, or “my boss is going to assign me loads of work to do today”. As you can can see these self-talk phrases phrases influence your emotions. emotions. By controlling the self-talk self-talk through CBT CBT or any other technique you will be able to prevent your unwelcomed mood swings. After getting angry, self-talk self-talk can play a major major role in either intensifying the way you feel or make you feel better. Understand the reasons for your anger: When you become angry try to understand the real reasons behind your anger . Are you afraid? Are you projecting projecting your anger anger on an innocent person? Are you dissatisfied dissatisfied with your life? life? Understanding the reasons reasons behind behind your anger is an important step towards preventing yourself from getting angry for the same reasons.

You might be thinking that I am only talking about instant anger that appears when someone takes your turn in a queue or when someone steps on your foot, but this is not the only type of anger that should be dealt with. Some people have deeper levels of anger which is usually usually the one that causes depression. depression. This type of anger is called called chronic anger. Some people seem to be very critical critical and sarcastic; those are the people who are angry with life. Those who have had broken dreams, dreams, unmet goals, major disappointment in life, the feeling that God left them , or the feeling of extreme dissatisfaction dissatisfaction with their lives might become angry at the whole world. These people will will always be in a state of anger even even if they appear to be calm. calm. Inside their minds, minds, angry self-talk will be there throughout the day and the spill over effect of this suppressed anger might appear as sudden mood swings, bad temper, anger for the slightest reason, and the continued criticism of everything they encounter. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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This type of anger is much more dangerous than other types, simply because other types of anger are usually short bursts that can be easily forgotten later. How many times times have you shouted at another driver driver in the street yet forgotten forgotten about it shortly? shortly? Even if you didn’t didn’t manage to forget the situation on the same day, within a day or two you won’t remember it and itit will become a memory. But when people are angry with their lives, their achievements, or at what’s happening to them it won’t be forgotten but will keep growing until it becomes unbearable. Those who have this type of anger usually become unbearable to those around them as they keep criticizing them, insulting them, or displacing their anger on them. In order to deal with this type of chronic anger you only have h ave one thing to do, direct your anger towards what’s really bothering you instead of accumulating accumulating it inside or directing it towards towards innocent people. Your reaction to each of of life’s challenges challenges depends on your choice. Whether you want to live l ive as a victim or as a warrior is something that is completely up to you. No one can escape life's problems and no one can can control everything in his life, but we can control our reactions to these th ese problems and crises. Say no to rejection by being persistent and by forcing people to eventually believe believe in you. Say no to unemployment unemployment by studying studying harder and increasing increasing your qualifications qualifications until you find a great job. Say no to unexpected events by being being flexible. Say no to failure by learning from itit and using it as a step on the road to success. Say no to depression and unwanted emotions by attempting to achieve a deeper understanding of yourself until you master your emotions. Say no to life's problems by challenging them until they are solved. Getting over this type of anger requires that you say no to whatever happened to you by taking counter actions instead of victimizing yourself or directing your anger towards other innocent people.

Emotional emptiness One of the definitions definitions I love for happiness is “The absence of bad emotions”. If you wake up not feeling depressed, depressed, sad, bored, stressed or worried, then what would would be your current current state of feeling? feeling? You would be M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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feeling satisfied, relaxed, and comfortable comfortable or in other words you would simply be feeling happy. So if you manage to just stop feeling bad you will feel good, but unless you get rid of the bad emotions all together you won’t stop feeling bad. One of the bad emotions that sometimes attacks people and prevents them from feeling good g ood is emotional emptiness. emptiness. What do you feel when you prevent yourself from eating anything for 10 continuous hours? Yeah, you’ll feel hungry because because your stomach stomach is empty. If you prevent yourself from drinking drinking for 10 whole hours too, you will feel thirsty because again your stomach is liquid -empty. But what would you feel if something prevents you from having loving friends? What would you feel feel if you spend years without reaching reaching the success you you want? What would you feel feel if you found yourself unloved for years? You sometimes would feel empty too, but this time not n ot because your stomach is empty empty but because because your soul is. Emotional emptiness is is the feeling that your mind sends you when w hen it identifies an unmet need that is not being satisfied or that hasn’t h asn’t been satisfied for years. Being lonely for years, having no friends for years, being hated for years, being a loser for years , or not being successful successful for years can trigger the feelings of emptiness where your mind tells you that it’s badly in need of something that you aren’t providing providing it with. w ith. I consider emptiness, loneliness, and depression the worst three emotions any person can experience experience , and the worst thing ever that can happen to you is experiencing experiencing the three emotions together. Don’t worry , it’s very common to experience this combination of emotions together and that’s th at’s why I mentioned them all all in one line. When we become depressed depressed we sometimes feel feel disconnected from others and we feel lonely. And because we are usually depressed as a result of an unmet need then we feel empty too. I know you might be feeling a little heavy with all these bad emotions on your back but getting rid of them all will not happen unless you do one thing. You start taking actions!! actions!! Stop reading reading this book now and and sit sit alone M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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for a few minutes then write down all the things that you need in order to stop feeling depressed and in order to feel good about yourself. After you determine these things your mission in life should be fighting for them until you get them. The great thing about emptiness emptiness is that it disappears the moment you start to take serious actions; just as hunger is reduced the moment you take the first f irst bite of food, emptiness disappears the moment you take serious actions. You might be saying, “But I am taking actions and I’m still feeling empty and depressed”. depressed”. When you see the food on the table and take the first first bite your mind becomes sure one hundred percent that you are going to feel full in a few minutes and that’s why the severity of the signals are reduced, but when you set plans for dealing with an emotional problem that might or might not work , then your mind won’t won’ t withdraw these signals. The bad signals will only get withdrawn when your mind finds serious actions taken or at least believes in the actions that you are planning to take. If you have a history of setting setting plans and and not following them then then your mind will definitely not withdraw the bad feelings f eelings when you write one because it would know if it’s destined for failure. In order to be happy, you must start a new page with your mind by committing to your plans and actions actions as ifif they were God’s words. When your mind realizes that you are always taking serious actions actions to get over your problems, itit will start to trust you and the next time you set a plan your bad feelings will disappear.

Dealing with suppressed emotions emotions I have previously mentioned how suppressed suppressed emotions can be time bombs that explode anytime when the activation trigger is encountered. The only way to deal with suppressed emotions so that they don’t have a bad effect on your mood is to release them or channel them correctly. There are many methods that allow you to deal with suppressed emotions but the most effective ones are: Confrontation: Are you mad mad at your parents? parents? Do you have feelings feelings of resentment towards your your father? Do you hate someone because because he has harmed you? Do you feel feel that your your rights rights are being violated? violated? The only only way to push these bad feelings away is to confront those who have hurt M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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you. Tell them how you feel, feel, tell them how how they violated your rights rights and hurt you. Tell them how bad you are feeling because of what they did. did. The powerful advantage that confrontation has is that it allows you to address the source of the problem directly directly to prevent the t he storage or suppression suppression of any bad emotion. emotion. The other strong advantage advantage that confrontation does is that it changes your yo ur identity from being a victim and someone who is waiting for a hero to save him/her to someone who stands up for their rights and defends them. Your self concept, or how you perceive yourself, plays a very important role in recovering from bad bad moods. When you victimize victimize yourself and start thinking that you’re helpless, you will become indifferent towards helping yourself, you will be lowering your self esteem , and you won’t be able to recover. Make a list list right now of those who have hurt you and contact them if you can and ask them for an apology for what they did. did. Doing this alone, can heal many of the wounds you have and can result in completely changing your emotional state and mood. Talking to someone else: If the people who hurt you are currently inaccessible inaccessible like your school teacher when you were six for example, talk to other people who might help you release the suppressed emotions that you have. As long as you keep your your emotions inside, inside, you are very likely to suffer from their accumulation and as long as you can find healthy channels to release them, they won’t have a big impact on your mood.

Talk to your close friends and relatives, your intimate partner or talk to all of them. Talking alone makes makes the problem become become smaller as you you allow yourself to see its actual actual size. When people keep their emotions emotions inside, they tend to see their problems much bigger than they actually are, but when they tell other people about them they start to see the problem as an object that has a certain certain size and not as an undefined object object with an infinite size. Don’t shoot innocent people: One of the false practices practices that can provide temporary relief from suppressed emotions is displacing your anger on innocent people and and objects. While shouting at people people who have done done nothing to you might help a little, in the long run it will result in feelings of guilt and depression. depression. In order to help yourself get rid of suppressed suppressed emotions you must address the right people to let it out. I don’t encourage shouting or verbal assault, what I meant by ‘letting it out’ is M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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addressing addressing or telling someone about your rights and what they have done wrong to you. Expressive therapy: What if you were feeling bad because of the loss of a loved one? What ifif there is no one to blame? blame? If the situation situation that led to these suppressed emotions can’t be reversed, you might want to use expressive expressive therapy to release these suppressed emotions.

Expressive Expressive therapy th erapy involves expressing your emotions in non-harmful n on-harmful ways that can help you release these emotions and ease the intensity of the bad feelings. feelings. Writing is the most popular popular form of expressive expressive therapy. Try to write your bad feeling and the details of your problem on a paper and see the difference yourself. yourself. Usually anything unknown appears appears bigger and more dangerous that it really is, and that’s why many people fear the dark even though they were never really really harmed because because of it. When you write your problems you move them from the unknown realm to the t he known, which makes them appear smaller, helps you feel better , and releases a great deal of the emotions that were suppressed. Writing is not the only way to help you release release the suppressed suppressed emotions . Some people do it by listening l istening to music; that’s why angry people usually feel better after listening to rock rock music. music. The mood they get into while while listening to such music helps them dump their accumulated anger and resentment. Suppressed Suppressed emotions can also be channeled by exercising, exercising, meditating, singing, writing poems , or running. Try each of these these methods in in addition to the ones mentioned before and see which ones help you best in dumping your suppressed suppressed emotions. emotions. When you find an effective one, use use it whenever you feel bad. Crying: The expression ‘men don’t cry’ is one on e of the false f alse beliefs that only results in further accumulation of bad emotions inside people , especially men. Crying lifts mood, releases toxins from the body, helps people feel better , and and releases suppressed emotions. I am sure you’ve noticed a sudden change in your mood right after crying for a few minutes.

You should not feel ashamed of crying nor prevent yourself from it, but also know that most importantly if someone hurt you and he/she is still living on this planet, then crying for ages might not be as helpful as confronting this person. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Whatever way you find effective in dealing with suppressed emotions, stick to it, make it a habit and release all the suppressed suppressed emotions you have. Note that if the source of the suppressed suppressed emotions is is still there, then releasing the suppressed emotions will only result in temporary relief and not a permanent one. In order to achieve permanent permanent relief you must cut cut the tree from its roots roo ts instead of releasing your emotions whenever they’re suppressed. suppressed. If you, for instance, instance, don’t stand up for your rights then go home feeling bad, you’ll never have a great mood until you learn how to stand up for your rights. Channeling your suppressed suppressed emotions without without standing for your rights in such a case will be like taking medication for depression depression without fixing the root cause for that depression.

Know your enemy How many times have you treated someone badly because because you were already feeling feeling bad? How many times times have you shouted at other car drivers because your boss shouted at you that day? How many times have you taken drugs just just to escape from your emotional emotional pain? How many times have you been sarcastic because you were already feeling bad? In all of these cases your bad behavior was not a result of o f meeting these people nor did you get mad because of their attitude but rather the result of having other enemies that you fear and and turned your back to. In all of these cases you were fighting the wrong enemies and that’s why your pain persisted persisted and that’s why itit didn’t go away. You were fighting someone who didn’t mean to harm you, and left the real enemy who hit you in the back that you turned at them , in fear of standing up for your rights. Sit down and get a paper and a pen and trace trace the root of all your problems and your unhappiness. unhappiness. See who is really behind itit and see whether you know who is responsible responsible for it. Here is an example list list of few real enemies that you might have written: 1-My Fears 2-My Unmet goals 3-My Lack of self confidence As soon as you determine your real enemies, declare a war on them. Write it down on the same paper paper : M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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“I declare war on my fears, my lack of self confidence, all the things that bother me in life, everything that is stealing my happiness, everything that is making me depressed , and everything that is standing in my way to achieve my dreams” Writing this down will send a signal to your subconscious that carries the message that you aren’t accepting to be beaten down, that you are going to fight until you get what you want and that th at depression depression is not an option.


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Preventing bad moods


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Preventing Depression If you’ve managed to get over your depression or if you’re not feeling depressed right now , then you better maintain this state by taking small actions that could prevent depression or at least protect you from severe depressions. When we face small problems we might act indifferent when it comes to taking actions. For example, maybe you didn’t have any self image image problems but suddenly started to notice that your belly is starting to accumulate some some fat. Most people don’t take any action, action, but what usually happens is that this small problem might might turn into an obesity problem which could then affect the person’s self image and then result in reducing their self esteem until it causes depression!! depression!! Another example would be ignoring a small problem at work until it gets bigger or appears to be bigger, along with other problems that come up, thus resulting in making making you depressed. People who believe in God or who try to avoid doing wrong things might also do small small bad things th ings indifferently and then later find themselves depressed because because they the y are not meeting their religion’s expectations. It’s clear that ignoring a small problem might lead to a bigger one or o r even depression. depression. And even if the small problem problem didn’t grow, the accumulation accumulation of many small problems together might result in accumulated stress, suppressed suppressed emotions, and irritation that could lead to depression if they persisted. Paying strong attention to these small issues issues as they arise and finding solutions for them as fast as you can is a very important step towards preventing depression and helping you feel great. Suppressed Suppressed emotions never disappear but they change from f rom one form to the other. This back pain pain you’re getting or this stomach stomach ache you are suffering from might be nothing more than a suppressed emotion that is leaking out. Channeling suppressed suppressed emotions correctly correctly by being assertive, assertive, by expressing e xpressing your anger , and by figuring out ways to solve your problems is also an essential step in preventing depression. Having a backup plan for your objecti o bjectives, ves, goals , and dreams is also a very helpful method that can can prevent depression. depression. Some people become attached to their jobs, their goals , or their dreams to the extent that they M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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become severely depressed depressed when when they lose any of them. Of course I am against giving up your dreams but you should have a back up plan that th at has an alternative path for reaching that same dream so that you don’t become depressed when the first path gets blocked. Even if you weren’t we ren’t able to prevent depression completely , you’d still be able to prevent severe depressions. depressions. By following these simple actions actions you will reduce the bad moods in your life and you will encounter more happy moments.

Problem solving and bad mood accumulation You might be thinking that depression depression happens all of a sudden, but in fact depression depression can start four months before you even feel it, if not more. In many cases depression is the result of accumulated anxiety over a certain period of time. A person, who experiences experiences a problem problem that he fails to deal with correctly, might might induce emotions of anxiety. anxiety. Failing to cope with this anxiety for a prolonged period ends up with a depression, if not a severe one.

Suppose that you got a new boss at work who hated you for no apparent reason, then started to load you with work without praising you or even giving you any credit credit for it. Also suppose suppose that he favored one your colleagues and hinted that he’d promote him even though you work harder than him. In such a case you aren’t going to feel feel depressed as long as no one got promoted yet, but you will start to feel angry, afraid and anxious. These emotions could be the the seed that result in depression depression or could be nothing if you deal with them correctly. It’s in this th is period of time that determines whether you will become depressed or whether whether you will deal deal with the situation. situation. Depending on the skills that you have, the coping strategies that you will use, your own way of thinking, and your life life skills the outcome outcome will differ. differ. If you started M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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blaming the bad conditions that brought you to work with such a bad manager and started telling everybody how unfair life was then you have definitely picked the correct route that leads to depression, depression, because after months of believing that life is unfair your mind will give g ive up and become depressed. In other words, depression can be described as ‘the state of ignoring an external threat and becoming indifferent to it because of your belief that nothing can be be done about it’. A few weeks later you are are struggling, struggling, shouting, telling everybody how bad your manager is, and now you do nothing but lie l ie helpless in bed feeling depressed. So, after all, depression can be prevented before it even starts but you have to develop the necessary necessary skills to cope with the emotions that can be the seed to depression. depression. Whether it’s anxiety, prolonged prolonged stress, or anger, knowing how to deal with these emotions is the main step towards preventing depression. depression. Dealing with such emotions doesn’t only involve knowing how to manage them but rather, it’s a deeper process of challenging challenging your incorrect beliefs about life and building the required skills in order to get over the problem. In the previous case one or two of the many solutions could be either building enough courage to report your manager to his manger or getting rid of your fears and start finding finding another job. Whatever action you take take will be helpful in solving the problem but escaping will only take you a step closer to depression. depression.

Get those chemicals After all, our emotions are nothing noth ing but chemical reactions that take place inside our bodies. bodies. The great feelings you get when someone someone tells you that he/she loves you is nothing more than the release of some hormones in your body; the bad feelings you feel are nothing noth ing more than the sensation sensation of certain substances released in your body ; and the mood swings that you get are no more than a sudden change in the chemicals released in your body. So if it’s chemicals that are responsible for how we feel then won’t it be a good idea to alter these chemicals?? chemicals?? Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t aren’t trying to solve our problems by altering our body chemicals, but we’re trying to feel good while working on our problems. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Unless you are really working on your problems, then any relief that results from chemical changes in your body will be temporary and for a short time, however, if you manage to work on your problems and alter your chemicals in parallel then you will experience dramatic dramatic and long term improvement in your mood. Below is the list of hormones that can help you feel better along with ways that can help you get these hormones released:

Serotonin Serotonin is sometimes called the happiness hormone . It helps you feel happy, it reduces your bad feelings, and it prevents depression and mood swings. Serotonin may be the most important important chemical of them all all because of its strong strong impact on the mood. Lack of serotonin is always associated associated with bad feelings and irritation. irritation. Serotonin can be produced by: •

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Getting exposed to sunlight: Getting exposed exposed to sunlight for about 30 minutes a day day can end your depressi depression!! on!! Sunlight stimulates serotonin production production and helps you feel feel great. If you sleep a lot then make sure you wake up before the light ends and if you work night shifts then make sure you get exposed to adequate sunlight in your normal work days. Eating: Some foods can help in production production of serotonin like carbohydrates, carbohydrates, chocolate, sweets, proteins, vitamin B and C. Exercising: Exercising Exercising increases increases serotonin serotonin productions productions in in addition addition to releasing other hormones that can make you feel great.

Endorphins Endorphins are natural pain killers released by your body that can help you tolerate pain and feel feel good. Lack of endorphins is associated with feelings of anxiety and more more sensitivity sensitivity to pain. Endorphins can be produced by: •

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Exercising: Exercising Exercising is the primary source for producing producing endorphins; if you don’t exercise exercise then you’d better start now. Make sure that you are performing vigorous exercise exercise and not just normal exercise because because this helps he lps further in producing endorphins. Spicy foods: Any activity that results in pain results in the release of endorphins. Of course you don’t don’t want to hurt yourself yourself just to get M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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endorphins released, but but the good news is that spicy foods are considered a source source of pain and thus th us result in the production of endorphins. Sunlight: Again Again exposure to sunlight can result in the release of endorphins. Laughing: Laughing and even smiling can produce endorphins; make sure you laugh whenever you can!

Dopamine: Dopamine has many functions including improving the mood, making you more alert, controlling your emotional response, controlling the pleasure and reward system of your brain , and controlling your motor actions like moving. Low dopamine levels can cause cause cravings, poor attention , and even depression. You can get some dopamine by: •

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Food: Bananas, apples, eggs, fish, chicken and protein in general are great sources of dopamine dopamine . Vitamins: Fruits, vegetables, vegetables, vitamin vitamin C and E are among among antioxidants that prevent dopamine from being oxidized and thus losing its effect.

Ghrelin: Ghrelin is a hormone ho rmone that reduces stress and helps us become more relaxed. Ghrelin is released released when we become become hungry ; that's why eating too much is not always a good idea. idea. Just eat according to your body’s needs and never fill your stomach completely completely in order to maintain maintain good Ghrelin levels. Phenylethylamine: Phenylethylamine Phenylethylamine is the hormone that results in the high feelings we get in the early stages of a relationship. relationship. Do you remember those feelings feelings of butterflies in your stomach? stomach? Phenylethylamine Phenylethylamine is the hormone that was responsible responsible for them. You can stimulate Phenylethylamine Phenylethylamine production production by: •

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Food: Cocoa bean Phenylethylamine, Phenylethylamine, eating chocolate chocol ate might be helpful too. Exercising: Phenylethylamine can be produced produced during exercising.

Conclusion: M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Very simple changes to your life style can result in dramatic improvements improvements in your mood. It’s very clear now that a balanced diet diet and a lifestyle lifestyle that prioritizes exercising exercising will result result in an improved mood. If you don’t exercise or if your eating e ating habits are resulting in an unbalanced unbalanced diet then you should take strong actions to change both for the sake of a better mood.

Acceptance redefined If you have been reading things related to personal development for a while, I am sure you came across numerous websites websites and books that tell you how great acceptance acceptance is. But the problem with acceptance acceptance is that whenever you read an article about it, it keeps telling you about the importance importance of acceptance and how good it is but not how to do it. We all know that acceptance can sometimes sometimes be the only solution to a problem, but but still the question is how to accept? Is there a certain thing that we should do to accept a new situation faster? In order to understand acceptance acceptance you must first know the most popular misconception misconception people have about acceptance, acceptance, which is waiting. waiting. When reading about acceptance it might come to your mind that acceptance means staying in the bed, doing nothing noth ing, and saying “Ok I accept, there is nothing that can be done” . This is this image of acceptance that gave it the reputation as something passive that doesn’t help people feel good, while in reality acceptance is not feeling bad about what happened in the past , but at the same time , it’s taking all the actions that you can in order to solve the problem. Suppose you lost your job or lost your money in the stock market, can you remain still and do nothing about it and say I accept what happened? This is not acceptance ; this is called surrender. Acceptance in such a case would be to know that you can’t get your job or money back but at the same time doing doing all you can to replace them. Searching for a new job, starting starting your own business, business, talking with experts experts , and submitting your CV elsewhere are part of acceptance. Sitting still will only make you depressed because because you are not no t responding to the messages that your mind mind is sending you. So what if the problem was something that can’t be reversed like the death of a close person? Does acceptance mean doing nothing in this case? M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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No, acceptance in this case will be divided into knowing that what happened can’t be reversed and doing everything that can to make you feel better. Getting closer to God, reading reading about personal development, development, staying with close friends , and taking a break from work are examples of ways of accepting accepting what happened. As you can see acceptance is always connected to taking actions and not to staying still. Acceptance Acceptance is doing doing whatever you can to find a way out and not waiting waiting for a white angel angel to save you. Even if what happened can’t be reversed still there would be some actions that could make you feel better or help you recover faster . Whatever the definition definition you have for acceptance, acceptance, make sure that it’s not waiting. w aiting.

Uncertainty prevents acceptance acceptance Why do you think th ink people remain stuck for years unable to able to accept something that happened? happened? Why would people people stay broken broken hearted for months without being able to forget about the person they loved? The answer to all all of these questions questions is one word “Uncertainty”. “Uncertainty”. Your subconscious subconscious mind has a healing h ealing mechanism mechanism that can allow you to accept anything that happens to you; however this th is acceptance acceptance mechanism never works before your subconscious subconscious mind receives a signal telling it that the bad thing happened happened already. In simple words, when a person keeps chasing what he has already lost he sends a signal telling his subconscious subconscious mind that there th ere is still hope to getting that thing back and that’s why the subconscious mind never activates the acceptance acceptance mechanism. For example, if you bought some stocks at $10 $ 10 each and their price went down to $5, $5 , you may become sad or even depressed, but but at the same time you won't be able able to accept it. Why? Because you are still unsure unsure whether the price price will go up again or whether it will stay at the the $5 level. So the conclusion is: as long as there is sti stillll a small bit of hope left, you won't be able to accept the new situation. Here are a few examples that will further demonstrate the idea: •

She is in love with someone else: It feels so bad when you discover that your loved one is in love with someone else, but even after this discovery you will usually find yourself unable to accept the situation, simply because because you still don’t have enough evidence to M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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•

•

prove it. At the same time, time, your mind will be striving striving to convince you that there is still some hope. I don’t look like a super model: People who think that they should look better are usually struggling with an endless cycle of thoughts: each new comment they receive about their looks makes them repeat their calculations and repeat the same cycle of critical thoughts about themselves. themselves. If these people were certain certain about their looks, good or bad, they wouldn’t have felt that bad. Is he dead?: I really feel sorry for anyone who loses loses someone close, close, and when the shock becomes intolerable intolerable , some people start to deny that this death has happened, and get stuck in uncertainties instead of accepting the truth.

Suppose that you had an emergency and had to run down the street in your pajamas. pajamas. If someone tells you you , “Man you look awful! awful! How can you dress like that outside the house?” Do you think that this situation would make you feel bad? bad? Definitely not. Do you know why? Because Because you knew that you were wearing something something that bad or inconvenient in the first place, so it's normal to see this kind of reaction. Now, what if you were dressed in the usual way and the same person told you the same thing, would would you feel bad? Of course you would, but but why? Because you are wearing something that you think should look good, now you became uncertain about your own looks!!!! We can conclude something something very critical critical from this story: knowing that you are bad is less painful painful than being unsure that you are bad!!! bad!!! In other words, it’s the uncertainty that makes you feel bad. Simply remove the uncertainty uncertainty ; find the evidence that proves that this situation is actually actually a new fact. Of course I am not telling telling you to give up so early or to admit defeat, but when you are sure that it's over, let go of your inner resistance and of this tiny hope because you know that it's not realistic. When you do this, your mind mind will accept what happened and and it will signal for the healing process to start. For example, after breaking up, stop chasing your lover, stop calling him/her, stop visualizing him/her, stop going to the same places you used to go to together , and keep telling yourself that its over ov er . Only then you will be able to get over him/her in a short period of time. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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One of the main reasons for depression is getting stuck in a state of o f denial. In this case, the problem remains and the ability to accept it is hindered by this denial which will will eventually lead to depression. depression. What you need to do is to accept what happened and you'll find that you are no longer depressed and now that you know what wh at acceptance means and how to do it, that should shoul d not be a problem anymore.

The Media A few weeks ago I listened to to one of the worst songs I heard in my life. It was a song that was on a TV commercial commercial for a new movie. movie. I decided not to watch the movie, told my friends not to see it, and told everyone how horrible I expected itit to be. Since the commercial commercial kept appearing appearing every now and then on my favorite TV channel, I saw the advertisement at least 2 times a day. A few days later, to my shock, I found myself suddenly singing the song I saw on the the commercial. commercial. “Oh my gosh, what happened to me?! How can I be singing such such a song?!” I stopped immediately immediately and felt really weird. A few minutes later I found myself myself singing singing that same song again unwillingly!!! So what happened to me then, did did I lose my mind?? No, they just just managed to program my subconscious mind through repetition just as all the other ads on the television television intend intend to do. The more you get get exposed to a song, a movie, or a belief , you might might end up believing believing in it. Why do those who preach religion say that it’s very important to keep reading their holy books? Why do large companies companies spend billions billions on repeating the same commercials that you have already seen hundreds of times before? Simply because our minds absorbs new beliefs, ideas , or products as they are repeated many times. So what if every morning you met a friend of yours who told you the following: “You know what? We will never reach reach what we want, everything is is dark and gloomy. Reaching our goals is really impossible impossible ; how can we do it with all these aspects hindering us??”


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I am sure you have h ave concluded that after a certain period of time you will start to believe in what that person is saying or at least you will start to doubt your abilities and skills , especially if you face any troubles along your way. Well I know many people who listen to this song every e very day many times: “Always tears, tears, whenever we feel good we are faced f aced with our fears, even when we’re happy we fear that our happiness disappears”. disappears”. This is a REAL REAL song that millions of people listen to every morning. morning. It’s not in English but I have translated translated its words exactly. There are hundreds of similar songs that people listen to every morning without being aware of the consequences they they have on their lives. If you kept listening to such songs, after a short period of time, you might become convinced that life is dark and that everything is negative. I am sure you have met one of those people who believe that there is no hope in anything in life and that everything in life is negative. negative. Just examine examine this person’s taste and try to understand the type of media he/she gets exposed to and you’ll become amazed. You will find that they most probably probably listen to songs that exaggerate pain, that victimizes the listener, and that makes breakups and problems seem like the end of life. l ife. There is a famous saying saying that says “You are are what you eat”. I very much believe in this saying and in addition I believe that “You are the type of media that you get exposed exposed to”. The media media I am talking about doesn’t only include the songs you listen to or your musical taste but it extends to include the movies that you watch, your mobile ring tone, your nickname on msn, the games that you play, and even your desktop background. Anything that you get exposed to that can have a direct impact impact on your beliefs can be be considered among media items. Don’t underestimate underestimat e this exposure. Just observe how you react after watching watching a Jackie Chan movie especially if you’re a guy ; don’t you feel like wanting to fight? Don’t you come out of the cinema feeling feeling energetic? energetic? What did you feel the last time you saw a car-racing movie like Death Race for example? Didn’t you feel like driving driving faster? Didn’t some of us actually actually drive faster right after the movie? Why do advertisers drown us with advertisements everywhere everywhere we go? Why do they keep repeating the same message tens of times a day M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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through different channels? channels? It’s because because they know that they can can program you through through repetition. repetition. Once you are programmed programmed to have a belief such as ‘life is dark or unfair’, it will become part of your way of thinking, your lifestyle , and your view of the world. The conclusion is, the media you get exposed to is much more dangerous than you could imagine, if not picked picked correctly. I personally only listen to certain songs, watch certain types of movies movies and avoid all the rest. I don’t just move along with the crowd and I don’t try things that I know might have a bad effect on my beliefs. beliefs. Starting now, change the media media you get exposed to by replacing it with a motivating media, or at least l east a natural one, not one that puts you down.

Start moving now!! Life is full of parameters that are out of our control. An attempt to control control all life aspects is like an attempt to chase an illusionary goal that doesn’t exist. You’re not feeling bad now because because of the last breaku breakup p you had or because you were bullied at school , but you’re feeling bad for at least twenty big problems that you have never tackled nor have tried to deal with. I know that some things are out of your hands like like the death of a loved one or bad economic situations situations but still there are tons of actions that you could take in order to make yourself feel good. The bad habits you are struggling with, this stressful lifestyle you are living, this indifferent attitude you have towards your problems , and this lack of courage to bring what’s bothering you to the surface are among the main reasons you aren’t happy right now. Just as I said before, the current feelings you are experiencing are the result of all of the decisions, choices , and paths you you took in your your life. If you made a wrong choice or decision or if you’ve been doing something that is upsetting you then it’s not too late, start moving now and you’ll at least make your self feel better. Happiness is neither something that comes instantly nor something that can be globally defined. defined. Your own happiness is something that can only be understood by you and it’s something that won’t come unless you start moving towards the things that really make you happy and move yourself away from the things that make you feel bad.


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I once got an email from one of 2knowmyself’s 2knowmyself’s readers asking me for true happiness and and how to achieve it. I answered by asking asking her “do you have everything that you want in your life?” life?” She replied saying, saying, “no, I still want this and that and that”, so I told her, “your happiness is to fight for these things until you get them.” Make a decision now to stop being indifferent, to bring past wounds to the surface in order to deal with, to stand up for your rights, to fight for your goals, to set ones if you don’t have any, to understand yourself more, and to solve your problems. Decide to write a plan that results results in making making you a happy person with a wonderful life after a short period of time. Don’t blame life, luck, luck, or God for your bad feelings. feelings. Everyone in this world faces tons of problems but in the end some are happy and some are sad. The white knight won’t appear, good people won’t be able to help you, and no one in the world wo rld will be able to make a dramatic dramatic change in your mood expect one person: person: You.


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Check out 2knowmyself’s other books

How to Get Over Anyone in a Few Days


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About the book

This book has a 100 percent guarantee that that you will get over any person. If the book doesn’t work you will be fully refunded back. All you have to do is read the book well and apply what’s what’s written exactly. If nothing changes I will will gladly refund your money back. Again I am proudly repeating it, it’s a 100% guarantee that you will recover, not 99 nor 98 or 97. This book is by far the most powerful guide in the world to getting over someone. The book is not just different than other books that tackle the same subject but it’s not even comparable to them. The book will make the worst breakup ever become a simple state that you can recover from in few weeks if not days. Personally I got over the worst breakup ever in three days but this this is not how I used to be. I use to feel broken and stayed depressed for months until I grasped extensive knowledge about the psychology of love. This book intends to transfer transfer to you this knowledge that that can make you forget about anyone in a few days. Even if you were so deeply in love, after reading the book and applying what is in it you will have no emotions towards that person. If you feel that that the person you love is your soul mate and you simply can't get over him/her then after reading this book and applying what’s written, he/she will become to you just like a brother or a sister. Moreover, breakups will never affect you the the same way way they used to affect you after this book. A few days after applying what’s written you will start to feel better. better. By the second week you will recover up to 50% which will lift your mood and you will start feeling better everyday. The only thing you you have to do is to stick to what’s written. The other thing that makes this book different is that it’s a 100% guarantee that you will recover unlike other books that that just promise promise you to feel better. I have helped thousands of people to completely forget about the people they were in love with using the techniques in this book. Again I am repeating it strongly and clearly, it’s a 100% guarantee that you will recover. This book is not about intuitive tricks or logical ideas that can be easily guessed like "be strong", "stop thinking of her", or "focus on other things" but is rather one that is based on complex psychological principles simplified enough to be understood by all. All of the techniques techniques in this book are backed by psychology and scientific research. The techniques in the book are derived from love psychology, friendship psychology, neuro-linguistic programming, subconscious M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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mind programming, behavioral psychology, hypnosis, physiology and scientific research. If you think that falling in love should involve suffering, pain, feeling bad, or becoming depressed then don’t proceed as the book will permanently change your breakup habits. I am not responsible if you never feel bad when when breaking up with someone or if you become insensitive when you apply the techniques in the book during your breakup. Don’t worry, the the book won’t affect your ability ability to love and to be loved but it will just change your beliefs when it comes to breakups.


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How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You

About this book

This book is, without doubt, the most powerful book on our planet that covers the topic of making someone someone fall in love with you. you. Up to this day, I can assure you that there is no other book similar or even close in content to this one. The book will definitely increase your chances of making someone love you by at least ten fold. The book will allow you to easily brainwash someone into loving you even if he was not interested in you at all. By combining just just a few techniques from the book together you can make someone fall for you in few weeks if not days. Using all of the book's techniques on someone will dramatically increase the M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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chance of making him fall in love with you. One of the readers has even reported that 2 pages out of the book were used against him and then he fell in love with the girl although he knew that it was the book's effect!! Some techniques can even make someone become attached to you even if he doesn't like lots of things about you. With the release of version 5, I started to become become afraid that people might misuse the information in the book as it has reached a level where it became a dangerous weapon. This book is not about intuitive tricks or logical ideas that can be easily guessed like "be nice to her", "buy her gifts", or "always be there for her" but is rather one that is based on complex psychological principles simplified enough to be understood by all. Most of the techniques in this book are backed by psychology and scientific research. The techniques in the book are derived from love psychology, friendship psychology, neuro-linguistic programming, subconscious mind programming, behavioral psychology, body language, hypnosis, physiology, marketing and scientific research. My one and only aim behind writing this book is to help married couples to restore love back to their relationships; nothing nothing more. more. If your intentions intentions are finding a girlfriend or fooling someone into falling in love with you then this book is not for you. This book is only for those serious about a long term relationship, with marriage its main goal; other than that, I am not responsible for the problems that might arise upon misusing this information. The reason I have to write such a harsh disclaimer is because this is not an ordinary book; it’s a weapon weapon that can either be used in good or evil. If other books, ones talking about how to make someone so meone fall in love with you, are guns , then this book is the nuclear bomb of them all!! May God witness my intention behind writing this book , to cause no harm to humanity.


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The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss

About the book

I guarantee that applying the techniques in this book will result in letting you lose your unwanted extra pounds and having a great body without a lot of effort. This book will allow you to permanently lose weight and to have an ideal body shape without preventing yourself from eating your favorite food or undergoing a diet. The reason this book can help you lose weight weight in such an easy way is that it doesn’t contain simple techniques that are based on motivational advices or logical tips but instead it contains effective techniques that are based on psychology, physiology, NLP, hypnosis and other sciences. The techniques in this book were followed by some people before it was published and the result was was a dramatic change in their their weight and looks. All of them lost all of the fat that they had, and in addition, most of them developed an athletic body shape. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Depending on a diet to change your body shape may be a successful short term solution, but in the long run you will return back to where you started and will regain back your lost pounds. I am not saying that dieting is useless or that that all of those who start a diet will eventually fail to lose weight but what I'm saying is, in order to lose weight you are in need of much more powerful techniques for weight loss other than the simple ones that are already known to everyone and that are not effective. If you follow the techniques that are found in this book I guarantee that you will lose all of your unwanted extra pounds and have the body you always dreamed of. Losing weight is much much simpler than what you could have imagined but you just need to know how to do it the right way, way, and this is what this book is here to do.


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How I Did It

About this book

November 2, 2006 2knowmyself.com making 0.8 USD dollars/day M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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August 2, 2008 2knowmyself.com making thousands of dollars/month This book is a 100% guarantee that you will be able to make good amount of money from the internet. If you apply apply what's written in this this book, you will get back the money you paid in the first month from your own website. This book does not contain information that I have read about somewhere nor does it contain advices that I believe might work, but instead, it contains the approach that I followed to develop from scratch to make a website that generates thousands of dollars a month. The book doesn't contain "A system for making money" like the systems other people sell, simply because these systems rarely work, but it rather contains solid and practical knowledge that can ca n help you make money from the internet in a guaranteed way. The book explains every single small detail that I did in order to make a website that generates thousands of dollars a month. month. I did not spend money money advertising for my website nor have I spent hundreds of hours marketing marketing for it. I just followed an approach that if anyone followed, he will make the same amount of money from a website. With Google Adsense you can start making money the same day you bring your website online. This book will tell how to setup a website from scratch and how to run it so that you make thousands of dollars per month month without much effort. This book will not discuss 2knowmyself as a money making website because it’s intended for anyone who wants to start star t a successful money making website that doesn’t have to be related to my website website at all. I only took from 2knowmyself.com, universal concepts that could be applied in any other website. I don’t only hold a master in business administration , nor do I only hold few respectable computer certificates, but I also have the practical experience of creating a successful e-business. In less than than 1.5 years, a website that contains no more than free articles is now generating an amount of money that a well respectful employee won’t earn even after years of experience. What can this book do for you?

Just like you, I am sick of all of those who hype similar products by saying that they are selling the ultimate money making system or the get ri ch in a few weeks book. This book doesn't have the "super proven system" that can make you $30,000 a week nor does it have the ultimate proven system for becoming a millionaire in a few months, but instead it contains realistic promises like generating a good monthly income that allows allows you to work from home. Personally I think that you M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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can generate something around $5,000 per month without doing big effort, the more effort you do the more more your earnings potential will grow. grow. Even if you only made $3000 per month from your website, still this will be way higher than the amount of money you will pay for this book. Why you should buy this book?

You should buy this book simply because you will get your money back in the first month. By just applying what's in the book you will be able to bring yourself some good cash in a very short period of time. time. What a successful investment it is to pay a small amount of money then get a lifetime source of income. The book contains all the discoveries that I made regarding what works and what doesn't work in the E-business world. world. It could take you years to reach the same findings, but I am giving them to you in one book. You don’t have to have any background about making money online as the book will give you every small s mall detail that you need to make money from a website, starting by marketing concepts up to the HTML code you should use. The book contains information that roots from many sciences and sources including marketing, management, psychology, selling skills ,website optimization, customer service, e-commerce, and research methodology in addition to my practical experience. The approach explained in the book is very simple, straight to the point and very practical. The implementation of the ideas inside the book is going to be a very easy task since every small detail is explained and supported with graphical illustrations. This is not the kind of book where you will find information that couldn't be applied or that isn’t practical enough. Unlike all other books, the money you are going to pay this time is going to be returned back to you, you , in addition to profits, if you follow what’s written in the book. The money you are paying is an investment, and the return on investment is going to be much much bigger than the initial amount you will pay. The least thing this book can do for you is bring you back your money in a short period of time, in addition to some profits.


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The Ultimate Guide to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Do you always find yourself fighting with your relationship partner? Are you unhappy or dissatisfied with your relationship? Do you fear breakups?? Do you wish that you would have had more understanding of your partner and yourself? Do you wish to have a happy and stable relationship? This book is not an ordinary relationships book that gives advices that are known to be common like “Be nice to him” or “buy her gifts”, but instead it gives you numerous methods that are based on psychology which can help you have a healthy relationship that has less fights and that keeps both of you happy and satisfied. If you get a simple understanding of the human nature from the psychological perspective, you will understand that invoking emotions into other people is a M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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very simple task, whether they are bad or good emotions. emotions. By just following simple actions you can completely change the mood of the person you love lov e and so the result will be sustaining the relationship. The book will give you all the information you need to control someone’s mood, to calm him down, to reduce fights with him, to deal with him even if he had a difficult personality type, and to prevent breaking up with him. What is different about the book?

This book is not about intuitive tricks or logical ideas that can be easily guessed like "be nice to him" or "buy her gifts" but is rather one that is based on complex psychological principles simplified enough to be understood by all. All of the techniques in this book are backed by psychology. The techniques in the the book are derived from love psychology, friendship psychology, neuro-linguistic programming, subconscious mind programming, behavioral psychology, hypnosis, personality types psychology in addition to psychology of anger, guilt, fear, sarcasm, managing change, and relationship dissatisfaction. What can this book do for you?

You are getting the following benefits out of the book: • • •

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Maintaining a healthy relationship Dramatically reducing fights Dealing with difficult people like sarcastic, over sensitive, arrogant, type A, stubborn, narcissistic personalities and more Maintaining love in your relationship instead of letting time erode it Avoiding breakups Getting more understanding of yourself, your partner, and others Learning how to handle anger, sadness, frustration, and disappointment with your partner and with everyone else Knowing how to change something that you don’t like about your partner Preventing yourself and your partner from being programmed by friends, relatives, media, or any other source that can negatively impact your relationship Learning how to express your needs, wants, and desires without being aggressive and without letting go of any of your rights Lots more


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I Saw God

About the book This book provides scientific evidence that prove the existence of God, with levels of probabilities that are not subject to debate or revision. The facts are crystal clear and 100% scientific. scientific. After knowing these facts, facts, you'll come to to the conclusion that there is no other possibility other than the presence of a mighty creator who planned this all. This book does not prove that God exists through philosophies or emotional arguments because they can be easily refuted but instead it provides crystal clear evidence on God’s existence through scientific facts. M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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What can this book do for you?

This book is intended for those who doubt God’s existence and for those with shaken beliefs about God. Whether you are a believer or not, sometimes sometimes you may find yourself asking questions like: Why did God leave me? Why is God doing this to me? Why do humans suffer? The book will not only directly answer these questions but will provide you with solid clues that hinder the shaking of your belief in God’s existence ever again, no matter what what happens. The facts found in this this book will have you reach reach the conclusion that there are no other possibilities except the existence of a mighty creator. This book is for those who want to see God What’s different about this book?

Unlike most other books, the book doesn't use philosophy, logical arguments , or emotions in proving God's existence but it only uses scientific facts that can be easily understood by everyone, yet very powerful to convince the reader that nothing occurred by chance. This book is for those those who want to have faith faith and proof.


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Coaching sessions

Over the past few years 2knowmyself has helped millions of people feel better, get rid of their unwanted emotions, and understand themselves more. 2kowmyself’s traffic has been increasing dramatically with exceptional rates because of the unique content it provides that tackles problems and gives practical solutions. According to people’s constant requests, 2knowmyself has started a coaching service that helps people feel good, fight their bad emotions, understand themselves more, live a happier life, become more successful , and solve their life problems.


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Why is our coaching service different that all other services?? • •

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•

•

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• • • •

Your payment can be divided over a three months period or even more!! 2knowmyself has helped millions of people before live a happier life, understand themselves, and fight bad emotions. You are dealing with experts. Professional coaches who are experts in psychology will contact you. We will help you understand your self, get rid of unwanted emotions , and help you feel better . We deal with all kinds of problems like fears, disappointment, depression, sadness, guilt, breakups, financial problems, divorce, anger, stress, loneliness, and any other problem you could imagine . Before we contact you for the session we will first receive a summary of your problem(s) by mail so that we don’t waste your time during the call . 2knowmyself’s coaching service focuses on solving your problems permanently rather than making you feel better for a few days after the session. 24 hour support; we never sleep. Prices are affordable. Unlimited Email support. Free 2knowmyself's books are given to those who use the coaching service.

Want to know more? Check out the coaching page

The solid Confidence Program M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Increase your self confidence or get your money back

Do you want to have a Solid Self Confidence? Are you tired of feeling inferior and worthless? Do you tremble, shake and feel anxious when you approach certain people? Do you think that you are unattractive, boring or not up to the standard? Do you envy people who are self confident and outspoken? Are you fed up of analyzing the situations that made you feel neglected, unwanted or not welcomed? Does criticism affect you badly? Do you spend sleepless nights analyzing comments that were said about you? M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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Are you fed up of being bullied and disrespected by others? If someone told you that you are uninteresting, will you shake, tremble or even cry? Do people ignore you, neglect you or rarely notice your presence? Are you sick of feeling helpless, down and not in control of your life? Do you want to be feared, respected and admired? Do you want people to love you? Do you want to have fans and admirers? Do you want to become really confident?

Why the inferior advice you were told before never worked Years ago I was just like you searching for a soloution to increase my self confidence which was near zero. I started reading articles, joining online programs and purchasing books that promised me confidence. I thought that I would find something really helpful in these materials but instead I found people telling me: •

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Say "I like myself" everyday out loud Not knowing that those people

were not aware of the fact that the subconscious mind refuses to accept beliefs before solid proofs are provided. Your subconscious will respond to this message saying, "really, why do you feel worthless then if you like yourself?" Others told me to accept myself: Not knowing that those people were not aware of the fact that the subconscious mind can’t accept something it doesn’t like unless it can’t be changed. You can accept the death of a close relative but even if you used all the known techniques in the world you won't convince your subconscious mind to accept something you don't like about yourself that can be changed A third group asked me to repeat affirmations: Not knowing that saying I am confident while i am not makes the subconscious mind believe that I am fooling it and thus resulting in bad emotions. A recent research has proven that people who repeat affirmations that are against their beliefs about themselves feel down, guilty and less confident M.Farouk Radwan http://www.2knowmyself.com The ultimate source for self understanding understanding Copy right © 2008

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A fourth group asked me to set goals and achieve them: Not knowing

that they are not aware of the fact that some people have made tremendous achievements yet still feel inferior compared to others After years of research, practical experiments and knowledge collection I figured out what works and what doesn’t work. I knew why affirmations never worked and why most people become bec ome disappointed after using hypnosis. I knew why self acceptance schools failed to let people who lack self confidence accept themselves and i knew why can someone achieve all the goals in the world yet feel inferior.

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It works!! contrary to the inferior advices you were given before i am offering you a self confidence building program that works else you will get your money back!! Because there is a money back grantee you will either become more

confident or get your money back 2knowmyself has helped millions feel better, get rid of their bad emotions and live better lives. 2knowmyself has got 9,000,000 visits so far The program has no alternatives Bookmark this page then Browse the web, search for free tips, grab all the advices you can, say "i like myself" millions of times a day, follow all the known methods you y ou find for self acceptance and as soon as you discover that nothing is working come back and join it. All advice in 2knowmyself is derived from psychology, scientific research findings, real life experiments that were ran on thousands of people and cognitive behavioral therapy, you would never find inferior advice like "Repeat affirmations" or "learn to love yourself" but instead you will find Solid facts and techniques that are based on psychology and practical experiments Most self confidence programs focus on generic strategies such as setting goals and achieving them and while these advices are good still they won't do any good to someone who is not confident because of not liking his looks or someone who is not confident because of feeling inferior. The 2knowmyself Solid confidence program covers the different topics that results in lack of self confidence like poor self image, inferiority and similar problems then tells you how to deal with each one of them specifically. You can truly become self confident when your subconscious mind becomes convinced that you are worthy and special, the Solid confidence program will help you make real changes to your life that will act as solid proofs for your subconscious mind to believe that you are confident


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All course material were written by M.Farouk Radwan who wrote 9 books, sold a decent number of copies to the world, Appears on TV every week and who wrote the 1000+ articles found on 2knowmyself The material has been collected over a time span of 10 years from more than 5000 different sources and was tested on Thousands of people. All information given is 100% practical and applicable, you won’t find find a vague or non practical advice like "Accept yourself" or "try to be confident" but instead you will find a step by step approach that will help you have a solid self confidence

What will this program do for you This program will help you: •

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Get over inferiority, shyness, lack of self confidence and feelings of worthlessness Acquire a solid self confidence that will let people respect you, admire admire you and fall in love with you Get rid of Social anxiety, fear of people and self doubts Have an unshakable, criticism resistant and solid Self image Become relaxed around people and especially strangers Will let you become a leader instead of a follower Stand up when you fall, crush life problems and never feel helpless. The program will help you build confidence in your ability to face life problems not just building confidence in dealing with people Feel more attractive, become successful and live happier

Close your eyes for a minute and imagine how life would be like if you really managed to become the most confident person p erson on this planet, How would people deal with you? How would you deal with people? What will change about your life? What obstacles will stand in your way? How would your career, relationships and your mood change? Yes these are the feelings you should expect to feel after you complete this program… So what are you waiting for?


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