The Secret Between You and Me
It's funny how thin the line between love and hate. I mean love and hate is the opposite of each other right? And yet there's only a very thin line to separate them. If you ask me: do you hate her? My answer will be, "yes i do." it will be easier for me if it's just stop there. But no, it's not. Because if you ask me: "do you love her?" Then my answer is, "yes i really do." How i wish i could just hate her, so my life won't be a mess like this. And my heart won't aching so bad like this. -T
Yes, i love her. So much. I know that for sure. Yes, i want her to be mine. Only mine. That's why i'm so possessive towards her. That's why i can easily get jealous whenever it comes to her. Yes, i don't want to lose her. And i don't want her to leave me. And yes......i am a selfish bitch. I love her, and i also love him. I can't let go of her, and i can't let him go either. They said we can love two persons at the same time, but it will be in the different way or at least in different level of love. But in my case, i really can't choose. I can't choose one of them. At least not for now. He didn't know about this. That's why he keeps smiling and laughing happily like that with me and his friends. But not for her. She knows everything right from the start. She's hurting so bad because of me. She's crying a lot because of me. And she can't tell anyone about this. She can't share her burden and her sadness with anyone. Because this is a secret. A secret between me and her. Yes, she's on her own. All alone. But she's a strong girl, i know. That's one of the reasons why i love her. She's strong when i'm weak.
And now i'm so scared as hell. I'm afraid she will get tired of me, she will give up on me and decide to leave me. Please don't do that. Please.. i beg you. Because.....i've start to build my world around you. And it will be crumble without you. -T
Hi and hello! (Author’s POV) Taeyeon is a new student in SONE high school, one of the best school in Seoul. This year she just enter the senior high school after graduating from one of junior high school in Jeonju. She moves here few days ago because her father who works as a general manager in one big bank, get a promotion and need to move here for his business matter. So he takes his family along with him from Jeonju to Seoul. And today is the first day for Taeyeon in SONE high school. She enters the school with a big smile on her face even though she’s quite nervous in the inside. “I should make a lot of friends here just like what I did in my previous school.” Said Taeyeon more to herself. When she arrives at her class, she saw a group of girl consist of 7 people laughing and chatting loudly like there’s no tomorrow. All of them are beautiful, it’s like they are one of those popular gang in the school. You know, like “the kappa-kappa girls.” But Taeyeon doesn’t like those loud people. She hates noise. So she tries to just ignore them and sit as far as she could from those loud girls. It turns out that 5 of them are Taeyeon classmate, while 2 of them are Taeyeon’s junior. Those two are one year younger than her.
“class must be starts in any minutes now.” Taeyeon thought when she checked on her watch that she wears on her right hand. Suddenly there’s someone who approaches her and tap her shoulder lightly. “err, excuse me. may I sit here?” said the stranger. “ah, yeah, sure.. ” said Taeyeon and smile at the latter warmly. “Thanks! My name is Sunny..” said the girl and offer her right hand to do a handshake. This girl is quite cute actually. Taeyeon is a short girl, but this girl is shorter that Taeyeon, although their height difference is not that much different. Taeyeon gladly took her hand in hers and shake it lightly. “My name is Taeyeon, Kim taeyeon.” Said Taeyeon “Are you a new student here?” Sunny asked “Yeah, and you?” “Yup, same here.. I also just got transferred to this school today. Uri chinguhaja! (Let’s be friend then!)” Said sunny and smiling cutely. This girl is indeed have a lot of aegyo in her. Taeyeon thought to herself. “Sure!” said Taeyeon and give her a warm smile in return. “Cool! nice to meet you, Taeyeon.” Said sunny “Nice to meet you too.” Taeyeon replied And not long after that, the school bell is ringing, which indicated that the class is officially begin. After the class end, Taeyeon walks together with Sunny. Since they are friends now, they walk together before they finally must walk separate way to heading to their own home. Taeyeon likes her new friend. Sunny is a cheerful girl, she has a cute face, cute voice, and cute eye smile. Even
the way she talks and walk is cute too. It’s very different with Taeyeon. She doesn’t like people to call her or even think about her as a cute girl because she didn’t think that she’s cute after all. “I’m not cute at all. I just have a short body, and a baby face. That’s what people should think about me.” said Taeyeon inside herself everytime someone call her ‘cute’. The next day is coming. So this is Taeyeon’s second day in her new school. She’s not fully awake yet, so she walks like a zombie this morning. Last night she got her insomnia back. Accidentally she bumps into someone and make that person’s books fall down and scattered all over the floor. “ah! mianhae..” said Taeyeon spontaneously “yah! watch where you’re going will ya?!” said the latter angrily “I’m so sorry.” Said Taeyeon sincerely and she starts to help to collect the books before she hand it back to the owner. That girl just take the books from taeyeon’s hand harshly and go away. She didn’t even bother to say thank you or anything to Taeyeon. For Pete’s sake, she even didn’t bother to took a glance at Taeyeon as if she didn’t care at all. Taeyeon later recognized that girl after really take a good look on her. She’s one of her classmate. The girl who she saw laugh happily with her gang in the first day of the school yesterday. “aish, that rude girl. A simple ‘thanks’ won’t kill her though.” Said Taeyeon sarcastically “hi taeng!” said someone from her back “ah sunny. Hi!” said taeyeon “let’s go to the class together.” Said sunny as she pulled taeyeon’s hand, and drag her along with her to their class. After a week in her new school, Taeyeon finally know more about that gang that she met at her first day of school. She was right. Those girls is one of the popular gang in SONE high school. That kappa-kappa girls consist of Tiffany Hwang, Jessica Jung, Kwon Yuri, Kim Hyoyeon, Choi Sooyoung, Jung Yoona and Seo JuHyun.
Tiffany is the girl who bumped into taeyeon on the second day of school. Taeyeon already have a bad impression towards that girl since that day. But taeyeon also know that she’s pretty popular here because she’s beautiful and stuff. A lot of boys keep trying to be her boyfriend. They keep chasing after her, and do anything they could to be her boyfriend. Even they all know very well that tiffany already has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend’s name is Nichkhun. He was one year older than tiffany. Which means he is a senior of taeyeon. He’s also a popular boy in the school. He’s handsome, athletic, and rich. People called them as the dream couple. They have dated each other for 2 years now. But all of this fact didn’t make tiffany’s fans to back off or give up to chasing after her. The girl named Jessica is also beautiful and popular even though she always has a cold aura around her somehow. After all, all of them are beautiful and rich and talented in their own ‘field’. That’s why they are popular here. They are not only beautiful and rich, but they also always make the teachers proud of them. Tiffany is always on the big 3 when it comes to the class rank. Even she usually got the first rank. Jessica and Tiffany also member in the choir club. Both of them was born in USA and grow up there before finally go back to Korea. So their English skill is totally amazing. Their voice is so beautiful according to the information that taeyeon heard. So that’s why they are in the choir club. They are not only have a good voice, but they also can play music instrument. Tiffany can play flute, while jessica can play piano. Yuri is the best swimmer in the school. She have won a lot of trophies for that. While Hyoyeon is the best dancer in the school and she’s also the president of dancing club. Sooyoung is a model for some high class magazines and of course for the school magazine also. She’s the ambassador of the school or we can say, the ‘face’ of the school, where you can easily find her pretty face all over the school magazines, school banner, school brochure, posters, etc.. along with Yoona. No wonder because she has a very good body shape and not to mention, her killer long legs. She’s very tall and slim. Yoona and Seohyun is one year younger than Taeyeon. Apparently they are taeyeon’s junior. Why they can join the gang is because yoona is jessica’s sister, while seohyun is hyoyeon’s
cousin. Yoona is also a model like sooyoung. Seohyun is like the younger version of tiffany in her class. She’s always in big 3 for class rank in every exam. She’s smart and dilligent. And she’s also the current president of the school. All of them are gorgeous. Again i tell you, they are not only pretty and rich, but also can make the teachers proud of them. That’s what make them special. A lot of girls feel envy and jealous of them. They are like the Goddess of the school, the pride of the school. The perfect girls. Day by day passed, sunny and taeyeon get along very well with each other and become really close now. They are always together. And in the second semester, the class arrangement have been changed by the teacher in order to make the students know and get along with each other better. Unfortunately for Taeyeon, Sunny's class is in the 10-B while Taeyeon in 10-A. It makes taeyeon feel kind of sad and worry. She didn’t want to feel lonely in her new class without her danshin partner. As for the Kappa-Kappa girls, Tiffany is in 10-A with taeyeon while yuri, jessica, hyoyeon and sooyoung in 10-B with sunny. Taeyeon really hate the fact that she must get separate with her best friend. And even worse, she must be in the same class with tiffany, the person she didn't fond much (read: she DIDN'T LIKE). She never talk to tiffany before. Their one and only interaction is when taeyeon bumped into tiffany and make all of tiffany’s book scattered all over the floor. After that, they never make any interaction with one and another even though they were in the same class, also with the other member of tiffany’s gang. Taeyeon never really talk with any of them because she didn’t like them after all. Taeyeon just see them as the arrogant popular girls who’s always want to be acknowledge by the others, get praised and want all of the attention only for them. It’s not because taeyeon jealous of them or something. Nah, taeyeon is not that kind of person. Her bad encounter with tiffany really affect her thought about her and also her friends. And not too mention all of the gossips and rumors that spread around the school about how arrogant and self-centered those Kappa-Kappa girls are. Little did taeyeon know, gossips are just gossips. Rumors are just rumors. They might stated the fact, but they also might not stated the fact. Well, actually MAYBE taeyeon ‘know’ it, but she just decide to believe on those rumors since again, she already had a bad impression about tiffany. So it’s easier for her to make this kind of prejudice about them.
Shaken Today is the first day in the second semester. It means taeyeon will be temporarily get separated with her danshin partner, Sunny. “hahh.. why can’t we be in the same class, sunny-ah..” Taeyeon whining as she walks together with Sunny heading to their class. “stop your whining, tae. Just try to make some more friends in the class. Besides, we’re going to see each other on the break times, and also when the class time ended. We will keep walking together from home to school, and also back from school to our homes. So don’t worry..” said sunny try to coaxing her sulking friend beside her. “i know, but still, i’ll be so lonely in the class.. you’re my only friend you know.” “hahaha.. see? that’s why you need to be friends with the others too. C’mon tae, just open up yourself more, and try to talk with the others. And then voila! You’ll get some new friends.” said Sunny again trying to persuade her. “arrggghh.. whatever. Now i’ll go to my class. See you later..” said taeyeon while slowly (and weakly) walking away from her friend. They are in the different class now, but actually their class is just next to each other. ah, taeyeon just being childish sometimes. Thought sunny to herself while laughing a little seeing her friend cute act.
(Taeyeon’s POV) “Damn it.. why is the class so full already in this early morning? Where should i sit? Ah, correction. Who’s the one i should sit together with?” my eyes wondering around the class, and then spotted some empty seat. There are 3 vacant seats. 2 of those already have someone behind it. It means one of them will be my new tablemate. And the another one is vacant with no one own it. So i choose that one. I sit on the chair casually, and starts to take out my books from
inside my blue bag. Suddenly i feel someone presence beside me. That person pull the vacant chair beside me and sit on it. And when i look at the latter, my eyes got widened in shock. It’s her! Tiffany Hwang? H-How come she choose to sit here? Beside me?! I keep looking at her with clearly a shocked look written all over my face. and finally it catches her attention. she raised one of her eyebrow and looking back at me weirdly. “what?” she asked me, maybe slightly felt annoyed with my weird intense stare toward her. “ani. Nothing.” I answer her coldly and turn my head to the front again to avoid her. Damn it Hwang! Why you choose to sit beside me? don’t you know how uncomfortable i am right now with you sitting right beside me? haish.. Shortly after that, the class begins. The first class is english class. Well, to be honest english is really not my thing. I have studied it for years since i was a kid, but my english skill is never got improved no matter how hard i study it. So in the end i just gave up on english. I guess it’s just really not my thing. “good morning class..” said Miss Song, our english teacher. “today we’re going to have a little quiz. So please be prepare. i will ask a question to all of you, one by one. and i'll choose it randomly of course. If you can answer it, then good for you. You’ll get A for the quiz. But if you can’t, i’m sorry, F will be your score. There's no in between..” She ended her words with a little sly smirk on her face. Oh great! Just great! The first day of the second semester, got separated from my danshin partner, stucked beside that rude Hwang, and now english quiz?! What a beautiful life.. i thought silently to myself while let out a small sigh. after 40 minutes of the class passed, “now the quiz time guys!” said Miss Song cheerfully. I start to feel nervous now. I’m so not ready for this. I start to sweating and stir uncomfortably on my chair. while Tiffany is looks so relax and didn’t even really pay attention to what Miss Song taught us earlier. I know, she’s a korean-american so that’s why she didn’t worry about the quiz. It must be very easy for her. Good for you Hwang. I start to feel envy now.
Miss Song starts to ask everyone in the class randomly. Now it’s tiffany’s turn. “Tiffany Hwang?” Miss Song calling for tiffany’s name “yeah?” tiffany answered shortly “please translate this (korean sentence) into english correctly. Gajjaraneun geol aneunde, neomu busowoyo.” “even though i know it was fake, but still i feel so scared.” Tiffany asnwered confidently with her perfect english accent. “good, very good miss Tiffany Hwang.” Miss Song smiled contently at her, and even complimenting her. “thank you, Miss Song.” Said tiffany in reply still in english. Everyone starts to look at her with a lot of admiration in their eyes. But not for me. You like to show off much, Hwang? I said inside myself. “well, now, who’s next? How about you Miss Kim Taeyeon? Kim Taeyeon right?” Miss Song look at me while she asking. I blink my eyes few times and start to feel uneasy again. I just nod my head weakly at her as my answer. Oh my God, i’m going to die.. i’m going to die.. “please translate this correctly into english. Eoridago nolliji marayo.” actually i understand what she means, but most of the time when someone talk to me in english, i just can’t answer them back. It’s like i can understand when people speaking in english, but i just can’t reply them in english. “ah.. err.. hmm..” i starts to stuttering. Suddenly i heard someone speaking softly, more like whispering to me.
“Don’t make fun of me because i’m young.” the voice said. Oh my God, is that You, God? is that really You? but i can't catch it. Your voice was too small, God. can You speak again louder? i start to think irrationally, and even talk to God in my head. I mentally smacked myself once i come back to my sense. How come i can heard God's voice? stupid me.. so i look at my sides, trying to find the source of that whisper come from. But i just saw tiffany who’s bending her head low. She pretends to write something on her book. I think i was just hearing things. So i just shrug it off. “can you answer my question miss Kim?” said Miss Song and it brings me back to the reality. I start to feel nervous again. my hands get cold and i'm start sweating. And suddenly, i heard that gentle voice again. it said the same words like before but this time, it’s clearer. And i’m sure that i’m not hearing things. Oh my God! It was Tiffany’s voice! “just repeat what i said..” she whispering again even though she didn’t even look at me. and she just keep bending her head down. “ah! Umm.. d-don’t make fun of..of.. me b-because i’m y-young!” i finally able to finish my words even though i’m stuttering a lot. “right, well done miss Kim. Don’t worry i won’t make fun of you, even though you took quite some time to answer me.” Said miss Song teasing me a bit, and some of my classmates just giggling at her remark. Tiffany finally held up her head, but still she didn’t look at me. she just pretends like nothing happen, and keep looking at the white board in front of the class. Should i said thank you to her? Or should i not? Ah, molla.. so i decide to just forget it, and also joining her to pretend like nothing happen. Well, i’ll just silently thanking her for saving my english quiz today. I thought to myself. Thanks Hwang! Maybe you’re not as bad as i thought after all.
Misjudge (Author's POV) Today is monday, the most 'favorite' day of the week for the students. And what make monday more special is the fact that the first class for the 10th grader today is PE class. Way to go, pals! "Morning kids!" Sair Mr Jo while smiling widely to his students in front of him. Most of them look like a walking dead judge by how unsteady they're standing right now. They're just keep yawning and rubbing their sleepy eyes. Hearing no response from his students, he blows his red whistle loudly. Make some of the girls screaming in shocked, and the rest just groaning in annoyance. "Wake up now?" Said Mr Jo again with louder voice than before. And this time some of the students answer him. "Well.. well.. well.. i think i know how to make you guys become fully awake from your sleep. On my count to 3, running from here to the basketball court over there and then come back here. The last 3 person who come late, will running again for 2 more laps. Understand?!" The students just groaning and sighIng in frustration. How mean this teacher can be. "Oh my God! Where's Sica? We need to really wake her up!" Said Yuri panicking about their sleeping beauty friend who's hate running so much, but love sleeping so damn much. "She's right behind me, yul. Leaning on me to be exact. I bet she still in her deep slumber." Said tiffany "Go wake her up now.." said hyoyeon joining her friends conversation "Jessie.. wake up! Wake up!" Tiffany trying to make her american friend open her eyes. But it's useless. The sleeping beauty keep sleeping peacefully no matter how loud her friend's voice. "What to do?!" Yuri still on her panic mode.
"Yah! Calm down, dipsy.." said sooyoung while she keep poking on sica's cheeks trying to wake her up. "Ah i got an idea." Said sooyoung again. She leans closer to jessica and whispering into her ears. "Sica-yah.. i bring this cucumber for you.." Just like a cue, jessica finally opens her eyes and let out her infamous dolphin scream. "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Tiffany, Yuri, Hyoyeon and Sooyoung who's already prepare for this, just covering their ears while the other students look at them in surprised. Later Tiffany who's realize all of the eyes are on them, bows immediately as she speaks, "We're so sorry for the inconvenience. It's just jessica practicing her high notes for the choir showcase next week. Once again we're sorry." And not to forget to flashing her killer eyesmile right after she finished apologizing. Seeing that eyesmile, everyone just nodded and smiling back at her in understanding. Who can resist that eyesmile? Taeyeon and sunny who's standing not too far from them hear all of their conversations. Sunny just smiling at them because she thought that those girls are somehow cute and dorky at the same time. While taeyeon just scoffing in annoyance. "Such an attention seeker.." she mumbled under her breath. After some shocking scene made by tiffany and the gang, Mr Jo resuming his unfinish talk. "Okay miss Jung, next time don't be too loud when you want to practice your high notes. I know you're a good singer but when you scream like that i feel like i'm going to be deaf soon. So please.." "I'm sorry, ssem (teacher).." said jessica with her red face. Feel so embarrassed. Her friends just giggling softly beside her. But once jessica send each and every one of them with her so called ice princess cold stare, all of them just freezing in their place. See how scary this ice princess or should we call, 'hellsica'?
"Now everyone get ready. Run as fast as you can, okay? It will helps you to be really sober. Trust me. 1..2..3!" *priiittttt* he blowed his whistle loudly and everyone starts to running like crazy. "Yahh! Sunny! Wait for me!!" Said taeyeon while she trying to catch up on her best friend. "Sorry taeng! You're on your own this time. It's about life and dead. Ppaliwaaaa!!" Said sunny shouting to taeyeon. "Ugghh! Why is that short creature can run so fast?!" Taeyeon complaining. "I HEARD THAT KIM!" sunny suddenly yelled "Wh-whoaa.. h-how could her?" As for the kappa kappa girls, hyoyeon is in the first line with some boys. She runs so damn fast leaving yuri, sooyoung, tiffany and jessica behind. Yuri with the two american girls are running side by side. While sooyoung and her killer long legs being left behind. Having long legs didn't guarantee can make someone become faster in running. Lesson learned! "Damn it! Run faster legs! C'mon faster! Show 'em what you got!" The desperate sooyoung just panting hardly while she's trying to cheering for her long legs, hoping it can make her run faster if she do that.
After some exhausting running time, Mr Jo give 10 minutes of break for the students. Most of them just laying lifelessly on the ground. After 10 minutes break finished, all of them stand up from their place and gathering in the middle of the basketball court with Mr Jo in the middle of them. “well, today we’re going to play basketball, kids. I know some of you like this game, and some of you didn’t. But one of the thing that i like about this game is the teamwork. You don’t need to be all good and perfect in this game if you know how to work in team, how to cooperate with
your friends, understanding each other. besides this is just a game for fun, not a real match so just take it easy. Hmm let’s see. I’ll try to divide the team equally.” “yuri you are the captain for team A. And Sooyoung as the captain in team B.” “why ssem? Why you separate me from that dipsy? We’re friends! We can cooperate well if you put us in the same team, ssem.” Sooyoung starts to whining. “stop calling me dipsy, Choi sooyoung!!” yuri retorted in annoyance “what if i insist to call you that?” sooyoung challenged her. “yah!” yuri protested. “stop it girls! Enough! You said you two will cooporate well and yet you two are bickering like kids now. Aigoo my head hurts.” Said Mr Jo while lightly massaging his temple. “sorry ssem.” Said yuri and sooyoung in unison, slightly feel embarrassed with their childish act. “okay, not a big deal. Now i’ll divide the team.” It turns out yuri with taeyeon, tiffany, and jessica in the same team. While Sooyoung with hyoyeon and sunny in the opposite team. As for the jump ball (when the referee throw the ball high in the air in the beginning of the game, and each of the player who’s standing in the middle of the circle will try to get the ball), sooyoung face to face with yuri since those two are the tallest in their team. It will be funny though if sooyoung versus taeyeon or yuri versus sunny. Once Mr Jo throw the ball in the air, both of sooyoung and yuri jump as high as they could to reach the ball. Since sooyoung is taller than yuri, she gets an advantage on that, and reach the ball first. But because of her unsteady grip, the ball is glinding wildly out of her hands towards sunny. Seeing that, taeyeon who’s unexpectedly fast in react, able to get the ball first and slightly pushing sunny aside.
“YAH!” sunny yelled. Taeyeon just stick her tongue out at her and smirk. “swari sunny, you’re on your own this time.” Taeyeon said mimicking what sunny said to her earlier. Hyoyeon who’s running so fast now able to ‘catch’ taeyeon and try to steal the ball from her. But taeyeon won’t give up the ball easily. Her eyes starts to wander wildly, trying to find her teammates. She saw jessica in the corner of the court. It looks like she even didn’t want to touch the ball. So she try to find tiffany and see her standing not too far from her. “tiffany hwang!” said taeyeon and passing the ball to tiffany. It was the first time taeyeon called her name. tiffany who’s hearing taeyeon’s voice calling out for her name immediately running approaching taeyeon and get the ball. Seeing that, hyoyeon running towards tiffany this time. Tiffany calmly dribbling the ball, but suddenly she meets the giant wall a.k.a choi sooyoung in front of her, and she can’t move anymore. sooyoung successfully blocking her. Tiffany can’t move anymore since she already stop on her place. If she makes any step further, it will be a fault, called “walking” or “traveling.” Aware of this, she starts to looking for help. She saw the ice princess walking casually towards her, maybe not even realizing that tiffany needs her help right now. So tiffany daringly passed the ball towards jessica. “jung sooyeon!” said tiffany, calling jessica with her korean name to bring her back from her daydreaming time. Hearing that, jessica finally looks up at her friend, and successfully accept the ball just in time before the ball hits her pretty face, even though she looks kind of panic right now. “yaah! Why me?! why me?!” she looks confused now maybe she doesn’t even know what should she do with the round thing in her hands right now. “jessica jung! Here!” said taeyeon and appear out of nowhere to help her confused teammate. Understanding what taeyeon means, jessica immediately passing the ball towards taeyeon. but sunny is already there, right in front of her, trying to steal the ball. In the end taeyeon decides to
just hug the ball, so sunny can’t steal it. Seeing that, sunny decide to just hugs taeyeon. seeing those two hugging, makes the others chuckle. How cute seeing two cute shortie in the middle of the court, hugging each other like that. “yaah! Let go of me lee sunkyu!” said taeyeon while trying to breakfree-ing herself from sunny’s embrace. “i will, but give me the ball first.” Sunny try to bargain. “never!” said taeyeon insist. Those two just arguing like a kids. Seeing that their teammates trying to help them. “kim taeyeon, behind you!” said yuri out of sudden. With that, taeyeon spin her body around to break free from sunny’s hug, and quickly passed the ball to yuri. Successfully got the ball, yuri running as fast as she can towards the basketball hoop, and do the lay-up. Goal in! 2 score for yuri’s team. Yuri running towards taeyeon and raise up her right hand in front of her face. “what?” taeyeon asked confusedly. “high five, buddy!” yuri said while grinning sheepishly. Taeyeon just can't help but smiling back at her, and do the high five with her. Shortly after that, tiffany and jessica joining them, and also ask for the high five. Taeyeon left with no choice, so she also do the high five with jessica and tiffany. The game continued, and they’re keep running to here and there chasing after the ball. Once in awhile they will laugh at each other funny or you can say dumb act and teasing each other. “ssem, c-can you please..... please.... stop the game? Girls, i’m quit! I..i can’t running anymore. if you really want to have that ball, then take it. Take it all. All yours!” said the frustrated ice princess while holding her chest and panting hardly. “aircon~” she starts whining with her cute tired voice. Seeing that, the others just laughing. Even taeyeon also joining the club to laugh at the silly ice princess.
After the game ended, they walk together to the side of the court and let the other team to play. They sit next to each other, making a straight line and leaning on each other. They’re trying to catch their breath. They didn’t say any word to each other right now, but all of them feel the same thing. This silence is not an awkward silence. Instead, this one is a comfortable silence. Now they’re start to feel more relax and comfortable around each other. I think the kappa-kappa girls aren’t that bad. They’re just a bunch of dorky girls. But talk about dorky, me and sunny also a dork. so maybe we’re not too different after all. And maybe i’ve just misjudged them. Taeyeon thought to herself and start to feel bad for thinking negatively about those dorky kappa-kappa girls.
Friends In the lunch time.. (in the same day after PE class)
(Taeyeon's POV) I walk out from my class and waiting for sunny in front of her class. "Kim taeyeon.." someone's calling for my name so i automatically turn my head towards that sound. It's Yuri. "Yeah yuri?"
"Waiting for sunny huh?" She asked me "Yeah.." i answer her shortly, still feel kind of shy and awkward to be around another people other than sunny. "I see.. sunkyu-yaahh. Taeyeon is waiting for you!" Said yuri while half screaming to catch sunny's attention. But wait, did she just called sunny with her korean name? Whoaa.. are they that close already? I'm wondering. I make a mental note to myself to ask about this to sunny later. "Coming..!" Said sunny back from inside the class. Shortly after than she's appear in front of me and yuri. "Come on tae!" Said sunny and starts to drag me with her towards the school canteen. Sunny and i sitting together in one of the table in the canteen. Suddenly i feel someone tapping my shoulder. It's yuri (again!) "Hi kim taeyeon, lee sunkyu. Mind if we're join you two here?" I look at yuri and her friends holding their food tray in their hand while smiling at us. Should i let them sit with me? Before i can say any word, sunny speaks.. "Sure yul. Just sit. Come.. come.. But please stop calling me with my korean name, kwon!" She playfully glared at yuri which replied by a merong from the latter. Just within some seconds, our table is so full now with 9 girls sitting together in this small table. But not that i mind because it's still enough for us. "So sunny, taeyeon, since we're friends i think it's no need for me to introducing ourselves to each other. But these two here, you might not know them yet. So let's introduce them to you." Said yuri to me and sunny
"Sunny, taeyeon.. this girl name yoona. She's one year younger than us and she's also the litte sister of that ice princess." Said yuri while pointing at yoona and then to jessica who's glaring at her remark. "Hi unnies. I'm yoona. Jessica's little sister." Said yoona smiling brightly at her new unnies. "Hi yoong.. mind if i call you that?" Sunny said "Sure unnie. It's kind of cute though. I like it." Said yoona and playfully winking at sunny. They both end up giggling together. "Now, this girl is seohyun. She's in the same class with yoona and she's the cousin of the dancing queen here." Said yuri again while pointing at seohyun and then hyoyeon. She even do a quick high five with hyoyeon when she called her as 'the dancing queen'. "Annyeonghaseyo taeyeon unnie, sunny unnie. I'm seohyun. Nice to meet you.." said seohyun in a very polite manner. "Eyy.. no need to be that formal with us, seohyun-ah. Anyway nice to meet you too." Said sunny to seohyun which later make seohyun to smile at her warmly. After some light chit chatting, we finally starts to dig up on our foods. My eyes widened in shock when i see how many foods sooyoung and yoona could eat. I mean, look at their skinny body! They're model for Pete's sake! But how come they can eat that much? Whoaa.. ah-mei-jjing! Anbe-liphebel! what a fun fact that i just found about them today. After we heard the bell ringing, we immediately clean up our mess on the table, and hurriedly walking back to our class. But of course after we bid our goodbye to the maknaes. And then the 7 of us walk together to our class. I walk inside my class with tiffany beside me. And then we sit on our chair which next to each other. I still feel little bit awkward though with her but not as severe as before. Shortly after than Mr Park, our economic teacher come in.
"Good morning class.. today we're going to have a group discussion. Later you'll submit the result of your group discussion to me in the end of session in my class today. Now go pairing up. One group consist of 2 persons. Go! Go!" Oh gawd.. who will be my partner? Lee sunkyu! I really hope you were here. But wait, how about tiffany? Will she agree to work together with me? I mean, yes we did play basketball together, having lunch together, but still we haven't really talk to each other. Should i ask her? Hmm.. "Tiffany.." "Taeyeon.." Tiffany and i speaking at the same time. "Err.. you may speak first." I said to her "No, you can speak first." "Nah, you first." "No, you first." "Aigoo.. fine! I'll speak first." I start to feel frustrated with this silly argument about who's going to speak first. "Mm.. i was just wondering. Hoksi, do you want work with me for Mr Park assignment?" There.. i finally said what i want to say. Hope she won't reject me though. She just smile at me. Whoaa.. i just realize that she also has an eyesmile like sunny. But her eyesmile is more beautiful. Sorry sunny-ah, i'm just stated the truth. Her eyes are smiling along with her lips. It curves into a perfect crescent shape. I just silently admiring her smile. Why i never realize this before?? "I was going to ask you exactly the same thing, tae " she said still smiling at me.
"Ah.. then i take it as a 'yes'.." i smile back at her. *BRAK!* suddenly i heard a loud thud. I try to find the source of that sound, and later i see one of my classmate, his name is baekhyun falling miserably from his chair. And just in second, the others who saw that laughing hardly at his clumsiness. I involuntarily let out my ahjumma laugh. Tiffany who's sitting quietly beside me, suddenly joining me, laughing like crazy. But it's funny that when she laugh, she didn't make any laughing sound. But instead she'll just clapping her hands merrily. Finally after some good minutes of laughing on our friend's misfortune, we able to stop our laugh. Tiffany and i look at each other still with a small smile plaster on our face. "Baekhyun is really clumsy, don't you think? I mean there's no one disturbing him. Just him and the unliving chair. And yet he can make that happen. Hahaha but thanks to him i had a good laugh." I said while still giggling a little. Recalling the funny scene that i just saw with my very own eyes. "Hahaha.. yeah agree with you. But you know what funnier than that?" She suddenly asked me "Mm.. i don't know. Why don't you tell me.." "Haha.. it was you, tae. No, correction. It was your laugh." She said while chuckling. She tried to suppressed her laugh now. "Haish.. don't mocking me or my laugh." I said while pouting and pretend to sulking. I don't even know why, but i start to like her. I mean, i start to feel comfortable around her. "Haha.. stop sulking tae. Unnie will buy you a candy later, okay?" She tries to coaxing me. "Yaahh.." i protest. "Hahaha okay okay. I'm sorry. I won't tease you anymore......at least for now." She said and merong like a kid at me.
Day by day passed. And since that day, me and sunny get closer with tiffany and her friends. We will talk more often to each other, and we'll always spend our lunch time together. As in the class, i will always be tiffany's shadow. I never know she's a very clingy person. Once she feel comfortable with you, she'll cling onto you often like almost all the time. And now, since i'm the closest friend she has in our class, i always being drag by her to here and there with her. To wherever she goes even like when she wants to wash her hand in the toilet, she'll force me to come with her no matter i agree or not. At first i feel slightly annoyed with her so clingy acts. But as time goes by i start to get used to her super clingy habit. Today is just like another day in school, boring and tiring. Tiffany was leaning her head on my shoulder and yawning, while i just looking around the class aimlessly. Suddenly baekhyun and minho walk into the class together and sit in front of me and tiffany. "I can't imagine my life without you, bestie." Said minho while he do a high five with baekhyun "Me neither. You're the best, bestie." "Nah, i'm not. You are, bestie." "Well then, we are the best, bestie." "Yaahhh! Can you two stop calling each other like that? You make me got the goosebumps all over my body." Said tiffany suddenly. I also want to say the same thing to those silly boys, but thanks to tiffany, she said it first for me. "What's wrong with that tiff?" Baekhyun asked innocently "Well.. how should i put this into the right words.. hmm.. tae help me!" She suddenly drag me into the conversation "What tiffany's trying to said here is, the way you two calling each other with bestie, it sounds kind of weird. I mean, correction, we mean calling each other with bestie like that sounds little bit disgusting even for the girls. And yet here you two keep calling each other like that." I explained. Hope they understand what i meant
"Exactly taetae! You just said exactly what i want to say." Tiffany said happily beside me "Aigoo.. i said exactly the words you want to say, but you can't say." I correct her and smirk at her to tease her "Haish.. whatever tae.." she said and huffing like a kid. I just can't help but let out a chuckle seeing her like that. "Yah! I think nothing weird with calling each other with bestie. I mean, baek and i really are best buddy. So yeah.." this time minho is the one who's speaking. "Fine then. Do whatever you want to do, guys." I finally said after feeling tired to make any other argument with them. "Tae! If minho and baekhyun calling each other with 'bestie' like that, don't you think we should make one for us too? I mean, we, two amazing and gorgeous girls, can't be beaten by those two dorks. Right?" Said tiffany teasing baekhyun and minho. "Yah hwang! We're not a dork!" Said baekhyun and minho in unison. "Hahaha.. right tiff. We can't lose it." I joining tiffany "Well, what should we call each other with, tae?" Tiffany asks. "I don't know. Have any idea?" "Hmm.. since 'bestie' already taken by them, we should find something that more interesting than that. Ah! How about 'wife'? Hahaha.." "Mwo? Wife?" I asked. "Yeah! So cute right? You'll be my wife, since i can't give you the husband title because that one will be taken soon by nichkhun someday. So you'll be my wife, and i'll be yours. What do you say?" She said while winking cutely at me. I just laugh with her.
"Kol! Then 'wife' it is." I said and do the high five with her. "Okay wife.." she said and playfully blowing a kiss to me.
Closer (Taeyeon's POV) it's been a month since the day we played basketball together. and because of that day too, sunny and i start to get closer to tiffany and her friends. now i think it's safe to say that sunny and i already become a part of the "kappa-kappa dork girls". we're always hanging out together, play together, stay close to each other, and also with the maknaes, yoonseo. as for me and tiffany, we're getting closer and closer up to the point we're become like a twin sister. she will always stay close to me, and i will always go with her to wherever she wants to go, just like her bodyguard you know. but i don't mind because i feel comfortable to be around her. We often think and speak the same things too. Like we have this telepathic thingy. It's funny sometimes how we will smile knowingly at each other because we know exactly what's going on in each other mind. And i'll feel like something missing if she's not there with me. it's funny though because i still remember clearly how much i used to dislike her at first. "yah, wifey~" i called her sweetly "yeah wife?" she asked me without really looking at me because she's busy writing something on her book right now. it's been our habit though to call each other with that 'nickname'. thanks to baekhyun and minho for making me and tiff to creatively inventing that kind of pet name.
"can i be honest with you?" i try to look serious even though actually i just want to 'play' with her. hearing the serious tone in my stern voice, she stops writing on her books,instead she drop whatever she's holding right now, and pay fully attention to me. How i love to get her attention. "are you okay, tae? something happen to you?" she looks all worry right now. i can feel how much she cares about me. And it makes my heart feel warm somehow. "nah, i'm fine. it's not about me. but it's about you, wife.." i said to her calmly "me?" she asked, look confused. aww.. that clueless expression on her face is so damn cute. "yeah, you.. my one and only wife, tiffany hwang miyoung." "what about me, taetae?" "hmm.. do you know what was my first impression about you?" "first impression? i don't know. why don't you tell me.." "but promise me, after i tell you, you won't get mad at me, and you won't hit me. instead please hug me, so i'm sure that you still love me even though i tell you about that." i'm grinning dorkily at her. "yah! Seriously, your first impression about me is that bad? gosh.. fine tae. i promise." "good.. that's my girl.." i playfully ruffling her hair and make it become kind of messy. "ugh.. stop it tae. You're ruining my beautiful hair. Now just tell me already!" she demands impatiently. "fine.. fine.. at first i really really didn't like you. i don't want to call it as 'hate' because i think that word is way too deep to be use for me. i didn't hate you. i just didn't like you like a lot. AW!" she suddenly hits my shoulder.
"yaahh.. you've promised me not to hit me!" i said while rubbing my sore shoulder to ease the pain. "did i? ups sorry, i forget." she said nonchalantly "by the way, why you hate me? Oh i mean, didn't like me like a lot?" she asked sarcastically. "and what's the difference between those two anyway.." she mumbled on that but i still can hear it. i patted her head lightly before i speak, "don't get mad at me, wife. i'm just trying to be honest here, fany-ah. that was my first impression toward you. and i have a reason for that. i won't dislike someone without any reason you know." "then, what's the reason?" she asked me again "i don't know whether you still remember this or not. but on the second day of school, i bumped into you on the school corridor. i accidentally make the books on your hands scattered all over the floor. and you seem to be so angry at me at that time. i sincerely said sorry to you, and i even helping you to picking up and collecting your books and give it back to you, but you even didn't want to look at me. you just took the book from my hands harshly and leaving me behind with your angry face. because of that, i start to think about the rumors that said you and your friends, i mean yuri, sooyoung, jessica, hyoyeon, yoona and seohyun are those popular girls in school who's arrogant and self-centered, was true. that's why i didn't like you and your friends at first. i know! i know i was a bad person for making that kind of judgment without really knowing you guys first. and i'm so sorry for that." i said honestly to her "it's okay tae.. and i'm sorry too. i didn't really remember about that day, but i can understand your position. if i were you, perhaps i will do and feel the same too. it's okay tae. thanks for telling me this." she said softly and smiling at me. I look back at her, and all i can see is understanding in her eyes. i just can't help but smiling back at her. "ah! and in my defence, i must be have something too on that day, tae. i mean, i'm not the type of person who can be so rude like that. i must have a reason too that make me become a rude person
to you at that day. but i can't remember what. and for that, i'm sorry tae. i never meant to treat people rudely like that. Really." she said and looks a little bit sad. it makes me feel bad, and guilty. "yah! Let's we stop this 'you're sorry, i'm sorry' time. past is just past. just forget it, okay?" i said to her and stroking her head softly. "okay taetae.. and now this.." she suddenly lean closer to me and give me a quick tight hug. "whoaa.. what was that for?" i asked her after she released me from her hug. "that's what you asked me to do, dork! you make me promise not to get mad at you, or hit you. but instead hug you so you'll feel assured that i didn't mad at you. right?" i mentally smack myself for forgetting that one. "ah, right. i forget about that. my bad.." i said while playfully bow at her to apologize. "hahaha.. such a dork. but a cute lovely dork to be exact." she smiled at me with her infamous eyesmile that i like the most. she pinched both of my cheeks, and it hurts a little to be honest but i don't mind because it's her, my silly gorgeous wife.
The school bell ringing indicates for the break time. Tiffany and i start to tidy up our things on the table before we're walking out from the class. We take a peek on our friends's class and find no one inside. "I think they have go out earlier than us. So let's looking for those dorks in the school cafeteria." Tiffany suggests and link our arms together. We walk together hand in hand before we stop abruptly on out track because we heard someone's calling for tiffany's name. When we turn around, i see nichkhun smiling brightly while walking toward us. "Hi taeyeon.. hi babe.. can i talk to you?" Said nichkhun to tiffany after shortly greet me.
"Ah, sure. Tae, do you mind if you go to the cafeteria first? I'll following you soon." Said tiffany to me "Okay." I answer her shortly. With that i start to walk away from her and her boyfriend, leaving them behind. Weird, i start to feel something in my heart. It's like aching for no reason. Why did my heart suddenly feel cold? Why suddenly my mood become this bad? Why? What happen to me? Ah, maybe i just feel kind of lonely and betrayed by tiffany because we used to be together like all the time. And like i said before, finding her to be not around me, make me feel kind of lonely and unusual. Maybe that's why. Yeah.. right.. i talked to myself as i keep walking to the school cafetaria. I saw my friends sitting while chatting happily on one of the table. So i approaching them. "Yah taengoo! Finally you came." Said sooyoung loudly while her mouth still kind of full with foods. "Close your mouth when you're eating, soo.. i still can't believe you are the 'visual image' of our school.." i told her and teasing her a bit. I walk closer to her and sit beside her and sunny. "Hi unnie.." said the maknaes at the same time. I just smile sweetly at them as i speak, "Aigoo.. hi to you too our cute maknaes." Hearing that, they just smiling back at me. "Where's tiffany, tae?" The ice princess asked me once she realize that i come alone without tiffany which is unusual and out of the habit. "Yeah.. where's fany? Taeny usually stay close to each other right? What happen to your wife?" Sunny teasing me. Our friends know how close and unseparable tiffany and i become nowadays. "Tiffany will coming soon don't worry. We meet nichkhun oppa in front of our class. So they talk, and i leave them to talk." I explained with my flat face. And that bad feeling that i feel earlier comes again and hits me again. Ouch.. it's kind of hurt i don't know why. "Aww our poor taengoo.. don't be sad. Nick oppa is just her boyfriend. And you are her bestfriend slash wifey. So don't worry." Said the black pearl yul. I don't know whether she really
trying to cheering me up or just want to tease me. But wait, why should she cheered me up? What for? Am i sad for something here? Why should i feel sad? Nah, this is ridiculous! I need to stop thinking too much before it's start to really gotten into me. "Yah! Stop talking nonsense yul. Aish.." i said to yuri "Aw!" Yuri groaning in pain "What was that for, hyo?" Yuri glared angrily at hyoyeon who's just hitting her arm. "For talking nonsense. No need to say thanks to me, tae." Hyoyeon speak wittily. Seeing that i just smirk at her and do the high five with her. "That's my sister." I playfully told her. Since our surname is same which is 'Kim', we often jokingly said that we're the kim siblings. Suddenly i see tiffany walking closer and closer toward our table with a big smile on her face. Guess seeing and talking with her boyfriend really make her happy. But suddenly she's pouting. "Yah where should i sit?" She asked still pouting like a kid "Yah hwang, can you at least greet your friends first rather than asking for a place to sit?" Sooyoung complaints "Haish.. fine fine.. HI GIRLS! Now. Where should i sit?" She asked again "Tiffy, can't you see there's an empty spot for you to sit beside babyseo?" Said sunny "I know.. but i want to sit beside taetae." She said cutely "Geez.. cut down your aegyo, girl." Said the ice princess with her perfect english. Tiffany just merong at her "Just sit beside seo, tiff. Don't be a baby." I finally speak. Hearing my stern voice, tiffany finally obediently walk to that empty spot and sit beside seohyun.
"Whoaa.. dae-bak! Kim taeyeon can tamed the rebellious Hwang miyoung." Said yuri while clapping hyperactively. I just smile at her kkab-ness. I can sense tiffany keep looking at me, but i pretend to be clueless and decide to just ignore her. I didn't want to look back at her. I'm sorry fany-ah, but this feeling, that i don't know what its name yet, prevent me to look at you right now. Because if i look at you now, i'll think about you and him again. And it hurts me somehow.
Confusion (Taeyeon's POV) Today is sunday, which means i have my free time all day long. I was just laying lazily on my bed in my bedroom when i heard my phone beep-ing indicating that there's a new message. From: wifey Taetae..
To: wifey Yeah wife?
From: wifey I miss you..
*deg* *dugeun dugeun* I don't know what happen to me lately. Since that day when i let tiffany to talk with nichkhun all alone, that day i start to feel the weird feeling in my heart. It can suddenly feel aching, feel happy, beating faster crazily, and many more. The feelings that very strange and new for me because i never feel all of those feeling before. And those feeling will only appear whenever tiffany is around. Or whenever she touched me or talked to me. To cut it short, whatever that related with her can trigger me to feel that. After some minutes, i decide to text her back. To: wifey We'll see each other at school tomorrow.. Just within few seconds, i already got the reply from her. From: wifey But still.. arghhh.. i don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry if i scare you tae, but i really miss you right now T.T
Damn it tiff! My heart! My heart is keep beating way too fast because of you. Somebody help me!! To: wifey I miss you too. Anyway what are you doing right now? Have you eat?
I try to change the topic. If we're keep talking about this 'nonsense' thing, i'm sure my heart is going to explode soon enough. So i need to avert her from this kind of topic. From: wife I'm watching tv in the living room right now. And yes, i have eat my lunch. How about you, taetae?
To: wife I also have eat my lunch and now i'm just laying lazily on my bed, doing nothing..
From: wife It will be good if i'm with you right now..
To: wife Eh? What do you mean?
From: wife Nothing ;p kekeke~
With that we keep texting to each other all day long. Even though we're not literally or physically stay by each other side right now, but by keep talking with her like this also make my heart flutters. It makes me feel so warm in the inside.
I walk together to school with sunny as usual. When we almost reach the school main gate, sunny suddenly trip on something, and almost falling down if i didn't catch her just in time. I hold her hand firmly as i speak, "You're okay?" I asked her worriedly "I'm fine, tae. Thanks for saving me." She said and suddenly give me a quick peck on my right cheek "Yaahhh!" I protest while wiping her kiss mark on my cheek. She just giggling and pat my butt. She's really a byuntae.. "Stop your pervert act on me, sunnykinni. Now c'mon!" I said to her and offer my right hand for her to hold. She looks kind of sleepy right now judge by her panda eyes. Maybe she got lack of sleep last night. I'm afraid she will stumble on something again and hurt herself, so that's why i offer her my hand so at least she can holding onto me. I failed to realize that there's a pair of angry eyes that keep watching over me and sunny. Inside the class.. I walk to my table and sit beside her. Tiffany already there, she comes earlier than me today. "Hi.." i greet her "..." no response from her. I look at her curiously. Maybe she didn't hear me. I thought to myself. So i just shrug it off. And starts to take out my books and my stationeries to put it on my table like usual.
Minutes passed, and still tiffany didn't say any word to me. She even didn't bother to look at me. It's weird. I thought. It's really weird. Why she's giving a cold shoulder to me? Did i do something wrong? I don't think so. Then why she's angry at me? "Tiffany.." i try to calling for her name. But still, she pretends not to hear me and keep ignoring me. But i won't give up easily. So i try again. "Wife.. sweetheart.. baby.. love.." i called her with my aegyo while i keep poking on her shoulder. I know she can't resist my aegyo just like i can't resist her eyesmile. And it proved me right. "What?" She answered me coldly. But at least i successfully make her to speak. "Are you mad at taetae? Did taetae do something bad to pani? Why pani ignoring taetae?" I said with my baby-ish voice. Actually i really want to punch myself hardly right now. I even can't stand my own aegyo. But i must do it, for tiffany. So she won't keep ignoring me like this. "Stop it, tae. Aegyo is not your thing. It really didn't suit you." She said. I know she's lying. She loves it if i show my aegyo to her. Because i won't show it easily to anyone. Even to her, she can't always see my aegyo. So it's a very rare thing. "Oh really? Fine then. I will never showing my aegyo to you ever again." I said with my normal voice and pretend to get mad at her. I turn my back on her and refuse to look at her. And it makes her slowly put her guard down. Slowly i feel something soft and warm touching my left hand. It was her hand, i know it. Her hand is reaching for mine. When she finally holds it, she pulls my hand softly, and it makes my body moves to face her. Her eyes were teary and it's really caught me off guard. I stop to pretending that i mad at her, instead i look at her worriedly as i hold her hands in mine, and intertwined it. "Fany-ah, what's wrong? Don't cry." I said to her softly while my hands never let hers go.
"I.. i don't know tae. I.. i really don't know." Even though i'm so confuse with her words and also her act right now, but i don't want to push her. She'll tell me when she's ready. So instead i used my thumb to wipe away her tears, and pull her into my embrace. Once our body collide, i can feel the butterflies are flying madly in my stomach. It ticklish. But i try to ignore them, and focusing on the beautiful girl in my embrace right now. She hugs me back tightly and bury her face on my shoulder. "It's okay.. it's okay. Don't cry anymore. It hurts me seeing you like this." I whisper softly into her ear while one of my hand keep stroking her head. We stay like that in each other embrace for some good minutes before i reluctantly release the hug first. "You okay now?" I asked her "Yeah.. thanks taetae.." she said and smiling weakly at me. at least i can make her smile again. "Good.." i said and patting her head lovingly.
Hurting I just arrived at my home when i heard my phone beep-ing. I hope it's her. Even though we just met each other at school few hours ago, but still i just can't help but missing her whenever i can't see her pretty face. Besides i still feel kind of worry and uneasy whenever i remember about her who's suddenly crying in front of me today. And i don't even know the reason why. A small smile crept on my face when i see the name of the message sender. From: wife
Have you arrived home safely, wife?
To: wife Yeah. I just arrived. Anyway i can't stop thinking about what happen earlier to you. Are you really okay? If you need someone to talk to, or to share anything with, you know i always here for you, right?
From: wife I know tae. And i'm so thankful for that. But i'm sorry, i just can't tell you about that. At least not now. When i'm still all confused and not sure about this
To: wife Is this because of your boyfriend? Even though it hurts me to even think about him, i just can't suppress my curiousity, and it's also because i'm so damn worry about her.
From: wife No, it's not because of khun oppa.
To: wife
Ah good then. Have you eat? Don't skip your dinner.
From: wife I will eat my dinner later. Don't worry nie..
I raised one of my eyebrow in confusion. Who the hell is 'nie'? Did tiffany send a wrong message?
To: wife pani-ah.. are you just send a wrong message? Who is 'nie'?
From: wife Oh my gosh.. i'm sorry taetae. I'm texting with you and khun oppa at the same time right now. And i was kind of mixed up and accidentally called you with that. Nie is for khunnie. I used to call him with that. I'm sorry..
Ouch! So apparently she's busy texting with her boyfriend and also with me right now. Maybe not only now, but almost all of the time. I just thought about this now. Stupid me! She and i always texting with each other like almost everyday. And i believe when she texted me, she must be also busy texting with her beloved boyfriend just like what she did right now. It slaps me real hard. And it hurts like a lot. Now i realize what happen to me and my heart lately. Yeah, finally i understand it now. All of it.
I have falling in love with my best friend.. I have falling in love with her.. I have falling in love with tiffany hwang, my best friend who is a girl just like me. And what worse is she already has a boyfriend. Well, all i can say is: you're so doomed, kim taeyeon.
like usually me and those 8 dork girls are sitting together in the school cafeteria. we're discussing about our plan to hanging out together on this saturday. "where should we go?" sunny starts the conversation "beach? han river? mountain?" said yuri without even really thinking about what she said "yah kwon yul! how come we could go to beach or mountain? that's way too far and we only have one day to spend. aish.." said jessica while trying to hit yuri for her silly thought, but luckily yuri is agile enough to dodge the attack from the ice princess. "how about going to a mall? shopping, watching movie, eating.." yoona suggests "well.. that's not a bad idea, yoong. but it's too plain, don't you think? too mainstream.." sunny said. and the others just nodding their head in agreement "how about if we're just gathering in one of a cafe, grab some drinks, talking, reading some books together....." said the youngest maknae "YAH!" the 8 of us yelled in unison, and cut maknae's words. "guess it's a bad idea? no? okay unnies.." said the maknae in defeat and slightly bow her head to us "it's not a bad idea, seohyun-ah. it's just.." tiffany try to explaining for us, so we won't hurt our innocent maknae's feeling. but she got kind of stuck with her own words, so i decide to speak for her instead just like what i usually did.
"it's just the 'reading books' part that we don't really like. right girls?" i said playfully and the others just nodding their head while giggling a little. "it's a good idea, maknae-ah. but you know how much your unnies hate to reading book, right?" i said while patting her head softly. She just nodded her head. "now now, back to the main topic. where should we go? any other ideas?" this time it's sooyoung who's speaking. "how about we go to an amusement park? everland?" said the dancing queen all of us look at each other with an understanding smile on our face, before we launch ourselves at the dancing queen and make a group hug with hyoyeon stuck in the middle. "yah! can't breathe! too.. hah.. too tight!" hyoyeon protests but we keep hugging her. Even tighter. "you guys are squeezing me! Yah!" We just ignoring her complaint and end up laughing together.
on the D-day we've agree to meet and gather in front of the bus station first on 8 AM before we're going to Everland together. seohyun was the first person who's arrived there, as expected from our maknae. and then sunny and i become the second. shortly after we arrived, we see yoona who's dragging her sister who has her eyes half closing since we know sica is not a morning person. she loves sleep way too much. it must be hard for yoongie to wake her lazy sister up. poor yoongie.. and then we see sooyoung, yuri and hyoyeon walking casually toward us. now it's only my eyesmile girl left. where is she? don't tell me she's still sleeping right now. with that thought, i try to calling her.
after some seconds passed, she finally pick up the phone. "yah.. where are you?" i asked impatiently "can you at least say good morning first to your wife before asking another question like that?" "haish, we've been waiting for you, fany-ah. you are the only one who haven't come. c'mon.. ppaliwaaa.." i'm whining "i almost get there, taetae. something happen, so it kind of took my time. sorry.." she apologized. wait, what happen to her? is she alright? i start to feel worry "you okay, wife? what happen? did you hurt yourself? i asked panickly "calm down, taetae. your wife is fine. it's just khun oppa, err.. he.. emm.. i'll explain it to you guys later once we meet, kay?" she said "ah, your boyfriend. okay then bye." with that i just hung up the phone without even waiting for tiffany's reply. i don't care if she thinks i'm acting weird or rude. i really don't care about that right now. my good mood suddenly vanish into the thin air as i heard his name mentioned by her. geez, why i'm so sensitive and moody lately? it must be because of that hwang. why i fall in love with her? why?? my thought was disturb when i heard sunny's voice. "taengoo, where's fany?" she asked "ah, she's on her way right now. she said she'll arrive here soon." i answered "ah, okay then.." around 3 minutes after, we see tiffany walk out from a black car. we look at her confusedly. "err.. hi girls! i'm so sorry for being late." she said, apologize to us "it's okay tiff. you've been forgiven." said yuri playfully
"thanks girls. anyway, the reason why i'm late is because khun oppa suddenly come to my house this morning. he wants to give me a surprise date by didn't telling me about it beforehand. but it turns out i already have a date with you guys. so yeah, i kind of ruining his plan. by realizing that, i invite him to join us today. do you guys mind if i invite him too? i know this supposed to be our 'girls bonding' time. but this happen unexpectedly. and i don't have a heart to turn him down. don't worry, we will still having our girl's time because khun oppa will only be with us for few hours. he needs to take care of something else later. so pretty please, girls?" my mood getting worse hearing her explanation. great, just great. i thought i'm going to play with her all day long today. we're going to stay close to each other, playing together, running to here and there while holding hands. everything is just perfect, until this khun comes and ruin everything. being a considerate friend we are, all of us allowed her to bring nickhun along with her today. even though i said i'm fine with that, actually i have killed him in my head like thousand times already. how i hate him! and her! can't she understand my feeling? but i know i shouldn't blame her, or him, or anyone. it's me who need to be 'fix'. so i shouldn't blame anyone for my own mistake. right? i really feel like going home anytime soon, because i really can't bear to see tiffany and him do all those sweet lovey dovey things in front of me. it will way too much for my little heart to take. i'm afraid i'll explode in front of them. i try to keep maintaing my expression, so i won't make the others suspecting something wrong with me right now. the 8 of us take the bus together since nickhun oppa's car can't carry too much passengers, while tiffany is of course with her boyfriend in his car. it makes my heart aching. and my stupid brain keep thinking about what they might doing right now. like chatting while laughing together inisde his car, holding hands, stealing kisses. arrghhh! my head hurts! and so do my heart.
once we arrived in the Everland.
"where should we start?" our youngest maknae asked. "holler coaster!" said the best engrish speaker in our gang, kwon yuri. "err.. i think it supposed to be 'roller' coaster, yul unnie. roller not holler." said the little jung trying to correcting her unnie's mistake. soon, her sister join the conversation. "this is what you got for keep spacing out and fell asleep in the english class kwon yuri-ah. tsk tsk.." she said, and the others just laughing at her remark. arcade after arcade, game after game we played. i try to enjoy and cherish this precious time with my best girls. i try so hard to ignoring the fact that the one i love is so close with me right now, yet i can't reach her. i try to pretend to be blind whenever tiffany and her boyfriend do the PDA in front of us. Like holding hand for example. They never let go of each other hands. They are like playing in their little own world by themselves and forgetting the rest of us here. it hurts, really it's really hurt. it feels like my heart got stabbed hundred, no million times. How i hope i can just be numb. now we're visiting the haunted house. from the 9 of us, it's the american girls, JeTi who's really afraid of the horror things like this. i steal a glance at tiffany, to make sure that she's fine. but i immediately regretting it once i see her hugging her boyfriend strong arm tightly, while nickhun oppa just keep teasing her and laughing at her cuteness. how i wish i can be that man right now. my thought immediately got cut when i heard a familiar dolphin scream that i believe can make me deaf sooner or later. i turn my head to find the 'villain', and i see jessica almost kicking one of the (fake) ghost who just suddenly appear in front of her. i feel pity for that ghost. he/she must get shocked a lot too because of the infamous dolphin scream of the ice princess, and also because of the attack that they almost receive from the scary ice princess. luckily they can dogde the attack. i slowly walk to jessica to calm her down and also to prevent her from kicking or hurting another innocent 'ghost'. "sica.. calm down.." i said softly to her. realizing my presence beside her, she suddenly launch herself to me, and hugs me tight. even though i got confused at first, but i immediately wrap my hands around her, and hug her back. she must be felt so scared. i pat her back as i whispering
sweet nothing to her to calm her down. i know she's in the verge of crying judging by how bad her body shivering in my embrace. our poor ice princess. after i feel her body more relax, i let go of her. "you okay now?" i asked "yeah.. thanks taengoo." she said while smiling at me. seeing that, i just smile back at her as i offer my right hand for her to hold. she gladly accept it, and hold my hand. now as we walk again, she's hiding her face behind my back. it's funny though because she's taller than me. and hiding behind someone who's shorter than you is really something, right? haha
(Tiffany's POV) the hell kim?! why you're hugging jessica like that? i feel so scared right now, and you seems like don't care about me, and instead you really care about jessica. i'm your wife, not her! why can you be more attentive to me? why sica? why not me? i was so angry and keep yelling to that kim midget in my head. i just can't directly yelled at her. nickhun seems realizing about my sudden bad mood, because he suddenly making us stop on our track, and look at me worriedly. "babe, you okay?" he asked "ah, i-i'm fine, nie. don't worry." i lied and hoping he will buy it. "okay then.." i don't know whether he really bought my lie or he just being considerate by didn't pushing me to asnwer him. i let out an inaudible sigh as we keep walking to the end of this scary spooky cave. i keep thinking about taeyeon and jessica earlier. i don't know why, but i really hate seeing her hugging and holding jessica's hand like that. i'm feel like burning in the inside. wait, did i feel jealous? do i? ah molla! all i know is i really want to run to where taeyeon is right now. i want to stay by her side, holding her hand, or hugging her little arm like what i usually did to her. but right now, i
just can't. i can't leave khun oppa all alone by himself right now. but i really want to spend my time with taeyeon. what should i do? "babe.." "baby.." "tiffany hwang!" "YEAH?" i answered in surprised when i heard khun oppa's voice, half screaming, calling for my name. "are you okay, babe? you're just keep spacing out you know.." he asked me with a worry look in his eyes "ah, sorry nie. guess i'm just kind of tired." i lied again to him. i don't know why i keep lying to him lately. i'm sorry oppa.. "you want to rest for awhile?" "no, it's okay. i'm fine oppa, really.." i give him my best eyesmile just to reassuring him and also to cover the lie that i made. "okay then. if you say so." he finally gave up, maybe because he knows how stubborn i can be.
after 2 hours of playing, the 9 of us, with nickhun oppa are resting our tired legs on one of a long bench. i steal a look at my wife. and my heart starts to feel burning again. i see jessica leaning her head on my taetae's shoulder. and taeyeon seems didn't mind. she even leaning her head too onto jessica's head. i feel like running to them anytime soon, just to broke their closeness. without i realize it, i clenching my teeth in process. suddenly i heard nickhun's phone ringing. "yoboseyo? ah, okay okay. i will, mom. yeah.. see you soon. bye.." i heard him speaking beside me
"babe, i need to go now. thanks for letting me to come with you today. i had a good time. and don't forget to call me or text me when you get home, okay?" he said to me while his hand stroking my head softly. "sure, nie. i will. take care.." i said to him, and flashing him my eyesmile. he suddenly lean in closer to me, and giving me a quick peck on my right cheek. i look at my friends, hoping they didn't see what nickhun just did to me, especially taeyeon. i don't know why, but i just don't want her to see it. "girls, thank you for letting me intruding your girl's bonding time today. now i need to go. have fun girls!" he said to my friends and after than he turns his back, walk away from us, and vanish from our sight. i smile brightly at my girls as i speak, "our girl's time just begin!" i said enthusiastically. all of them just smiling back at me dorkily. but it's weird because the queen of dork, which happen to be my so called wife, didn't smiling. she just put a flat face, and avoiding to look at me. it's really weird, and hurts my feeling somehow. why she did that to me? did i do something wrong? nah, i should be the one who get angry at her. right? she was cheated on me with jessica, in front of me! i thought to myself.
i walking with sunny and yuri, while taeyeon and jessica are waking in front of us with maknaes. and the hyosoo are behind me. i keep eye-ing for taengsic, not even a second i forget to keep watch over them. every single skinship or interaction between those two never slipped unseen by me. i really want to drag taeyeon to walk beside me, and holding her hand tight to show sica that she's mine. she is my best friend, my twin sister, my shadow, my body guard, my baby sitter, my soulmate, my wife, my everything!! she can't touch her without my permission. Also that lee sunkyu! I still remember how she kissed my wife's cheek few days ago in front of the school gate. I EVEN HAVEN'T DO THAT TO HER! i know i know, sometimes i can be over protective toward something or someone. but that's simply means that i deeply care about that thing or that person. i don't know why i'm so protective toward her, as if she is my girlfriend.
WHAT?! WHAT DID JUST I SAID? GIRLFRIEND?! inhales.. exhales.. calm down, stephanie hwang! girlfriend as in your best friend who is a girl. right? right.. i keep talking with myself inside my head. i was thinking too much, and i even didn't realize someone's walk in front of me in the opposite way. "AW!" i yelp in pain once i feel something hard bump into me, and i end up falling on the hard ground. my friends starts to approaching me and trying to check on me with their worry look in their eyes. but suddenly i feel a pair of soft warm hands, which i really familiar with its touch, holding my hand firmly and help me to stand up on my feet. "you okay?" she asked me ever softly. how i love her gentle voice. "i'm fine tae. just kind of shocked i guess." i said "don't be so clumsy. look where you're heading to. you're keep spacing out you know." she said with a lot of concern in her voice, i can feel it. it makes me feel loved, and it feels so good somehow. and wait, how did she know that i keep spacing out all of this time? ah! it means she also look after me since then. how sweet she is! Always silently watch over you and care for you. i thought and start to form a small smile on my face. but unfortunately she mistaking it. "and now you're smiling creepily like that. you must be thinking of your boyfie, huh?" she said, and sounds sarcastic. why she acts like this? "no tae, i didn't think about him. i was thinking about you." i said honestly. and it makes her blushed. aww.. so cute.. i really want to hug her right now. so i did. i can't restraint myself anymore. "yaahh.. what was that for?" she asked me confusedly after we broke the hug. i didn't answer her, instead i just smiling so ever sweetly at her, flashing her my best eyesmile as i pinch her cheek lightly. "you're so cute, tae. do you know that?" i decide to tease her a bit. and she's blushing again. aww.. can't she stop being so adorably cute?
"yah taeny! stop your PDA! it starts to hurt my eyes you know." said our shikshin Soo. i look at her and the others who's waiting for us. i feel slightly shy knowing those 7 girls are secretly watching over me and taetae and our interaction since i don't know when. i daringly take taeyeon's right hand on mine, intertwined our hands together, and drag her to where our friends are waiting for us. she didn't resist me though, instead she just obediently following me. finally, i can be with my taetae!
(taeyeon's POV) i just arrived at my home. i slump my tired body on my comfy bed. i almost close both of my eyes and drift into my dreamland if it's not for the loud ring from my phone. i check on the id caller, it's tiffany. "yoboseyo?" i speak weakly "wife, have you arrived home safely?" she asked cheerfully. geez, how come she still can be all so hyper like this. didn't she feel all worn out like me? "yes, love. i have arrived at my home safe and sound. now if you don't mind, i want to sleep so bad, fany-ah.." i said, half whining, half pleading. i heard her cute giggle from the other line, before she speaks. "okay, love. i'll let you sleep now. but before that, i have one thing to ask." she said with a very serious tone now. and it stats to scares me for some reasons. "what is that one thing?" i asked her curiously "uh.. can you please don't be so close with jessica?" she said calmly "eh? what do you mean? why can't i be close with sica?" i asked her confusedly. i really don't get it. why she suddenly ask me to stay out from jessica?
"i.. i don't know how should i put this into the right words. but i just didn't like it when i see you stay too close with her, tae." she said honestly. and it's really caught me off guard. is she jealous with me and jessica? does she also has a feeling for me? in the same way like i do? "w-why? i-i still don't get it tiff." "i don't know either, taetae. i also confused. but all i know is, i don't like it when i see you stay too close with her." her boldness really amaze me. but it's so unfair, isn't it? jessica is just a friend for me. well, so does she. but really, jessica is just a friend. why i can't be friended with her? and what about her? i also didn't like it whenever she's with her boyfriend. "i don't think i can do as you want, fany-ah." i try to test her "WHY? DO YOU LIKE SICA THAT MUCH?" well, now i know she's quite angry right now. "it's not about sica, fany-ah. it's just unfair for me, don't you think?'" i said to her softly,hoping i won't trigger her anger more. "then what is this about, tae?" she asked with a normal tone now. "it's about us. listen fany-ah.. if you ask me to distant myself from sica just because you didn't like it for me and sica to be so close, how about me? i also didn't like it when i see you so close with nickhun oppa." there.. i finally said it. i don't care anymore if fany thinks i'm a crazy idiot person or something. i really don't care right now. it's more than enough pain for my heart to bear alone. after some seconds of total silence that feel like hours for me, she finally speaks.. "b-but he is my boyfriend, tae. h-how can i stay away from him?" she speaks so ever cautiously. maybe afraid to make me angry. but she failed, because no matter how she try to speak to me, hearing that kind of answer of course will make me explode. but i try to stay calm as i speak again, "ah.. okay then. i got it. he's your boyfriend, so that's why you can't distant yourself from him even though i ask you to do so. but fany-ah, please listen to this carefully. i also can't fulfill your wish. i can't. and i won't stay away from jessica. you know why? it's not because she's my
girlfriend. *scoff* it's simply because she's my friend. and i can be friends with whoever i want." i said coldly. "tae.." she speak weakly more like whisper. i know she's on the verge of crying right now, but i pretend not to care about that. i need to stay strong, at least for myself. i don't want to look weak in front of the others, especially her. "tiff, i'm so tired right now. so i'll go to sleep now. bye." with that i hang up the phone. i don't care if she thinks that i'm being immature and rude right now. i can't take it anymore. i'm going crazy because of you, fany-ah. that night, i cry myself to sleep. i keep recalling everything, every single thing, that happened to me and tiffany, to us. since our first encounter, until today. why it must be so complicated? and why it hurts so much? if only i can turn back time, i will. so i can avoid her. or at least i'll choose to keep hating her, and didn't fall in love with her like this. but now, everything is too late. i have fall for her, hard. and i don't know how to stop this feeling. it just keeps getting stronger and stronger with each second i spend with her. it's funny though how my body is perfectly fine without any wound nor scar, but i feel like every inch of my body is hurting and bleeding right now. i never know love could hurt you so bad like this. I hate you, tiffany hwang! But then i can't deny that i love you. Somebody please make it stop! make this pain stop. please..
Feelings Taeyeon’s POV I wake up with my puffy eyes. I groaning in discontentment as i remember what just happen to me and tiffany last night. Am i act too rude? Too immature? Did i hurt her? Stupid, kim! Of course you hurt her. She’s on the verge of crying when you hung up the phone. But i also cried a bucket of tears last night! So we’re the same. I debated with my own voice in my head. My thought got interrupted when i heard my mom’s voice from outside my door. “taeyeon-ah.. have you wake up? c’mon sunny is already here. Don’t make her wait for you for too long, aigooo..” my mom said. With that i hurriedly running to my bathroom, and take my bath.
(On our way to school) “tae.. you’re okay? You look tired, and your eyes are so puffy. Omo! Are you crying last night? What happen to you?” said sunny worriedly. I’m so thankful for having her and the others as my friend. they are always care for me, love me, and accept me for who i am, even though i can be so moody and annoying sometimes. “ani, i’m fine. Just got lack of sleep. Got my insomnia back.” I said while smiling a little to reassuring her. “oh, really tae?” she asked me again, guess she’s smart enough not to buy my lie so easily. “yes, really. I’m fine sunkyu-yah. Don’t worry.” I said while showing her my dorky smile. Hope she will believe me this time.
“okay then. You know i always here for you, if you need someone to talk to, right tae?” being a smart and sensitive girl she is, i know she won’t buy my lie easily. But i’m thankful that she didn’t push me any further. I just nodded my head in return to answer her. Once i arrive in my class, i didn’t see tiffany in the class. I let out a sigh in relieved. Because i still don’t know how to face her later. Suddenly an idea pop up in my mind. “minho-ah, can you please change your seat with me?” i asked him “eh? Change seat?” he asked confusedly “yeah.. just for today. I want to sit with baekhyun. And you can sit on my place. Please? Just for today.” I asked him and pleaded with my puppy (dork) eyes, hoping it will works on him. “and why is the reason you want to change your seat with me?” minho asked again. aish, this boy! “no specific reason needed for changing our seat right? Just for a day, minho-ah. Pleaseeeeeee..” now i’m literally begging on him. geez, i never begging like this in my life before. Thanks to that hwang for making the impossible become possible. “haish, sometimes you can be so weird and mysterious, taeyeon-ah. Fine fine! Just for today, okay?” he finally gave up. “yeah, just for today.” At least i need to avoiding her for now, for today. As for tomorrow, i’ll think about that again later. First thing first. I thought to myself. Around 10 minutes later, i see tiffany walks inside the class with her puffy eyes too. See? I’ve told ya kim! You made her cry! Said the voice in my head, scolding me. and in my defence, i also cry a lot. Can’t you see? I talk back to myself. It’s weird right? For talking and debating with your ownself like that. i know i know.. I try to ignoring her sad look. She looks confused about why i moved from my seat. But i try to ignoring her. Honestly, I’m not mad at her anymore, but i just don’t know how to face her. And
i'm still hurting too. So that’s why i do this. Instead of confronting her, i decide just to avoiding her. I know, sometimes i can a be a real coward. And i hate myself too for being a coward like that. The school bell ringing, and i immediately rushing out the class without even take a look on her. She must be feel so sad and confused because of me.
Tiffany’s POV What happen to taeyeon? why she’s acting like this to me? seems like it’s not hurtful enough for her to treat me rudely last night by hung up the phone when we’re still in the middle of our serious conversation. Now she’s changing her seat with minho? What happen actually? I want to ask her, i want her to look at me again, and talk to me. my heart aching when she’s treating me coldy like this. But once the school bell ringing, she just rushing out from the class and gone without even spare a glace at me. i feel like crying right now. The tears are start to forming in the corner of my eyes, threaten to be fall down anytime. I walk weakly alone by myself. I don’t know where should i go. Should i go the cafeteria, and meet up with my girls there. Or should i looking for taeyeon? or should i just locked myself inside the classroom and cry my heart out there? I decide to go to the school rooftop. I need some fresh air to clear my mind. Once i arrived there, i heard a very beautiful voice singing. This voice seems familiar in my ears, but for some reasons, the song that she sings, sounds so heartbreaking and sad. It makes me want to cry even more. so i did. Nothing Left – K.will Geuman saranghaedo doelkkayo? Can i stop loving you?
Naega neomu himideunikka Because it’s too difficult for me Eokjjirorado useuryeohaedo ijen geureol gyeoreul jocha eobtneyo Even if it’s not the right time to do it, i still force a smile on my face Eotteohke yaegireul kkeonaelji? How should i bring this to you? Eodibuteo sijakeul halji? Where do shall i start? Naega neomu jichingeorago yaegihamyeon ihaehalreonji? Will you able to understand if i tell you that this relationship exhausts me too much? Jeongmal mianhadago myeot cheon beoneul yaegihamyeon doelleonji? When i tell you this, i can’t stop telling you how sorry i am Naega meonjeo saranghaetneunde I was the one who loved you first Ireohke tteonado doeneunji? Should i also be the one who leave you first?
Taeyeon’s POV
Once i finish singing the song, i realize that i was crying. I open my eyes, and i can feel the wetness on my cheeks. I immediately wipe it away with my hands, and inhales and exhales loudly to calm down my aching heart. When i turn my back, my eyes widened in surprise. i see her standing right behind me. she’s also crying. Seeing her in that state make me hurting too. Instinctively i walk closer to her and wrap her protectively in my embrace. I even forget that i supposed to avoiding her, not confronted her like this. “hey..” i speak softly to her “it’s good that finally you know how to greet me again.” she said weakly in the middle of her cry. Understanding what she means, i just hug her even tighter. “i’m sorry, fany-ah.” “i hate you, kim taeyeon! i hate you! i hate you!” she said while keep punching my back. I just let her to do it as she wants. I deserved this. I have make her cry. Even though she also made me cry. But i can’t lie to myself, that seeing her cry like that, and knowing i am the reason behind her tears, really killing me. “i hate you, kim taeyeon. i hate you. i really do.” She keeps repeating on that words to me while i just keep hugging her in silence. “....but i love you, tae. I love you. what should i do?” now i’m froze on my place. I don’t even dare to breathe. What did she just said? She love me? as in love for a friend, a sister or more than that? i want to ask her, but i’m afraid. “taeyeon..” she called me so ever sweetly, and broke the hug. She holds my hands and look at my eyes intensely. “you heard what i’m saying right?” she asked “uh.. which part?” i try to play dumb. I need to make sure that she really meant what she just said or else my already broken heart will wrecked even more.
“you heard me tae.” She said cutely “y-yeah.. i maybe heard it. But i just want to make sure.” She smiled at me before she lean in closer to me, and give me a quick peck on my right cheek. “i love you, kim taeyeon. i know it sounds crazy and so wronged, but that’s the truth. I finally realizing my real feeling towards you when i heard you singing. Your song convey everything, taeyeon-ah. And we know each other too well to be fooled by each other. i know you sing that song for me, right? did i hurt you so bad? I’m sorry if i did. Seeing you cry while singing like that really broke my heart into pieces, taeyeon-ah. And understanding what do you mean in that song, really scare me. i’m so scared. it’s like a wake up call for me. i don’t want you to leave me. i don’t want you to give up on me. get ignored by you like today is really hurting me. please don’t ever do that again to me. please..” she’s pleading. And she left me in awe. Suddenly i lost my ability to speak, and also to think straight. What should i do? What should i say? Suddenly i remember about something, or someone to be exact. “but, how about your boyfriend? How about nickhun oppa? you love him, don’t you?” i daringly asked “i.i..” she got stucked with her own words. I’m so done with this. How could she confessing to me while she’s still unsure about her own feeling. Did she think i’m a toy for her or something? With that thought i start to take few steps back from her, and ready to walk away, leaving her behind. After few steps i take, i feel a pair of arms hugging me tightly from behind. Again, she makes me froze in my place. “taeyeon, please don’t go. Don’t leave me. don’t hate me.” she’s pleading while crying hardly. I don’t have a heart to push her away from me. because i also secretly enjoying her warm around me. “fany-ah.. it’s okay. I’ll stay by yourside as your friend. and you’ll stay by his side, and be his girlfriend.” Even though it’s breaking my already broken heart again and again, i need to be
strong, for me and also for her. And i can’t be selfish too. She met him first. She knew him first. She loved him first. “b-but.. i.. i don’t want to be just friend with you, tae. I hate seeing you hugging jessica, holding sunny’s hand, talking while laughing happily with baekhyun. I hate seeing you being attentive to anyone else, but me. i know i’m selfish, but i just can’t let you go, taeyeon-ah. Please..” now she’s not just pleading, but begging. What can i do? She still back hugging me so ever tightly. I can’t run away from her now. I let out a heavy sigh as i turn my body to face her. I cupped her face on my hands, and wipe away her tears with my thumbs. “fany-ah.. if it can make you feel better, you need to know that i also feel the same way as yours. I also love you, fany-ah. So much. i love you ‘till it hurts. But i don’t think we can be together. Not only because we’re both are girls, but also because you already has a boyfriend. Don’t you think it will be unfair for me and him? hm?” i speak to her softly while i keep caressing her cheeks softly. She closed her eyes and enjoying my touch on her. Once i finish on my words, she slowly open her still teary eyes and look at me sincerely. I can see love and care in her eyes. But most importantly, i can see my own reflection in her eyes. Just like how she can hers in mine. We love each other, but all of this circumstances just prevent us to be together. “tae.. if i ask you to wait for me, will you do that? if i ask you to give me some time to figure everything out, will you give it to me?” she asked softly “what do you mean, fany-ah?” i asked her back “i will try to figure out my feelings. i know that i love you, but i also love him. i know i’m selfish, and didn’t deserve a good person like you to wait for me, but all i can do is ask you to do that for me tae. When i said that i love you, please believe it. Because i really meant it. I really do love you, tae. I never feel this kind of feeling to any girl before. But with you, it’s different. At first it scares the hell out of me. i think i’m not normal so that’s why i keep denying it. But as time passed, the more i deny it, the more my feeling towards you will get stronger. So please, tae.. if you mind, please give me some more time to solve everything out. Will you, tae?” There’s a few seconds of total silence before i finally open my mouth to speak,
“okay, fany-ah. I will try to bear with it. I will give you some time that you need. I will wait for you.” hearing my answer, she launch herself at me and hugs me tight. She’s smiling right now, i can feel it. She’s smiling with both of her lips and her eyes. Once we broke the hug, she kissed me again on my right cheek. But this time it’s not just a quick peck. But instead, it’s a long lingering kiss. I enjoy the warmness and softness of her lips on my skin. Well now i just hope that i made a right decision.
It's been a week since tiffany and i confessed to each other about our true feeling. Our status is still unclear. We're not lovers, but we're more than just a friend. Actually i don't really care with what should we labelled ourselves. As long as we still love and care about each other like this. But what bother me is the fact that she's still officially nickhun's girlfriend. I try to bear all of this pain, because i remember i have promised to tiffany that i will give her some times to figured everything out. As about the relationship between tiffany and i, there's not so much different from before. I mean, we're already all sweet and caring toward each other even before we confessed our feelings to each other. One of the significant thing that changed is tiffany possessiveness toward me. She can be so easily jealous with anyone who is close with me. Boys, girls, young, old, to make it short, EVERYONE. Sometimes it's really drive me crazy but i try to understanding her protectiveness. It simply means she loves me way too much. So i should be happy with it. Right? Right............ "Wife, you do realize that we need to submit our economic group assignment by tomorrow right?" Tiffany who's sitting beside me suddenly speaks. "What?? Omg i forget about that.." i honestly tell her "Aigoo my dork. What should we do now?" She asked "Hmm.. let's do that assignment after school end. Your house or mine?"
"Mine mine! Your home is too far, love." She's pouting cutely. I can't resist her pout, if she keep pouting like that, i don't know whether i can restrain myself anymore or not. So i immediately gave in and grant her wish before i really lost control. "Fine then, your home." She flashes her eyesmile to me as the way to say thank you to me. I just glady smiling back at her. She really know how to tamed me. You're so whipped, kim. I talk to myself.
"Aaaarrggghh... i'm so tired, taetae." Tiffany start to whining after 3 hours doing this group assignment. Luckily we almost finish it. "I'll go to the bathroom for awhile." She said to me. "Geurae.. hwajangsil ka.." (yes, just go..) i said to her as my eyes keep focusing on the laptop screen and my fingers keep 'dancing' on it. Suddenly i heard tiffany's phone ringing. I take a look at it. The screen shows the caller id. "Nie <3" Suddenly i stop abruptly on whatever i'm doing right now and anger starts to building inside of me. I let her phone keep ringing until it finally stops. Shortly after that, tiffany comes back from the bathroom. I continue to typing on the laptop as i speak, "Your beloved nie just called you. Go call him back." I speak coldly with no emotion in it. You know what, i'm good at hiding my true feeling. "Tae.." she called me. But i decide to ignore her. "Taetae.. hey.. look at me please?" Hearing her pleading voice, i starts to put my guard down and decide to look at her. "Are you jealous?" Seriously hwang, do you need an answer for that? Guess she understand what i'm trying to say with my silence.
"Sorry.. i won't call him back. If you want, i'll turn my phone off so he can't disturb us." She said while her hands softly caressing my hands. "Fany-ah.. please be honest with me. Do you love him?" "I..i.." "Just tell me honestly fany-ah. don't lie to me because you know how much i hate a liar." I'm demanding sternly "I love him tae, and i care for him. He is a good man, he loves me so much. That's why i can't hurt him." "Fine then. You have your answer. I'll make everything easier for you. I'll walk out from this, tiff. I'll let you go." I finally said and start to gathering my things, get ready to leave. I need to go immediately before i finally break down and crying in front of her. I don't want her to see me in my weak state. I don't want her or anyone to pity me. "Tae! I haven't finish yet!" She yelled and grab one of my hand tightly, prevent me from going any further. "What tiff? It's clear enough for me. It's painful enough for me! Can't you understand that?!" I scream at her desperately "But please, listen to me first, tae. Please.. i beg you.." she starts to sobbing now. And as always, i don't have a heart to hurt her, so i stay. "Now speak. Fast." I demand coldly "I love nichkhun because he is a good man, he loves and care about me so much. He always take care of me, protecting me.." i know tiff, i know how good and kind and amazing he is. No need to add more salt to my wound. I speak inside of me. "I thought i love him. But not until you came, tae. When i'm with you, i can feel those butterflies are flying inside of my stomach. I can feel that small ticklish electric shock around my body
whenever we touched. You can make me laugh and cry so easily. You can change my worst day become my best day. But at the same time you can also change my best day become my worst nightmare. I never care about someone the way i do for you. I never love someone the way i love you. You're special, kim taeyeon. I realize that i have madly deeply crazily in love with you. But again, about him, i just don't have a heart to hurt him. At least for now. So that's why i asked for you to wait. To give me some time. I know i'm selfish, but i really love you, tae. More than anyone else." Hearing that, my heart gets soften. I can feel her sincerity. So i choose to believe her. "But you know that my patient also have limit right?" I asked her "I know tae. I'll try to fix everything as soon as possible." She said weakly and bending her head low to hide her tears. "Come here.." i beckoning her to come closer to me. "I love you.." i whisper to her ear once i pull her into my embrace. She immediately hugs me back as she bury her face on my neck. It kind of ticklish but i love it. "I love you more, taetae." She's mumbling against my neck. But i still can hear it. After some good minutes hugging each other like that, we're finally broke the hug. We look at each other eyes lovingly, before something hits me. "Damn! I need to go home now before it's getting late." I suddenly start to get panic as i see the clock in her room "But i still miss you.." she said sweetly as her hand still holding onto mind tightly, didn't want to let it go. "Aigoo my sweet wife. We'll see each other tomorrow at school. Besides don't you worry about me if i go home alone by myself in the late of night if you keep trying to making me stay here longer with you?" I try to persuade her to let me go home. Sometimes she can be sooo clingy. Not that i mind, it's just that i really need to go home immediately before it's getting late.
"Of course i will worry about you and your safety. And because of that too, why don't you just sleepover here for tonight?" She suddenly suggests. "Mwo??!" "Aish.. you heard me tae. Why don't you just sleepover here in my house?" "Ahh.. err.. is that really okay?" I asked hesitantly "Of course it's okay, tae. Why would it be not okay?" She asked back. "My parent? I haven't told them. And then clothes? I didn't bring any. I didn't prepare anything for sleepover." I try to reasoned. The truth is, i'm just not ready yet to sleep together with her. In the same room, on the same bed. I know we're both are girl. But we love each other in a romantic way. So is this really okay for us to sleep together like this? I'm wondering.. "Oh my God, taetae. You can just call your parent now. Tell them you will stay overnight in my house because we haven't finish the assignment. And it can be dangerous if you go home by yourself in the middle of the night. I believe they will understand. And then about clothes and the other things you need for sleepover, i can provide all of that things for you, tae. Don't worry. You can count on me on this!" She said proudly while smiling happily. Guess she's really happy with me sleepover-ing here with her huh? I just pinch her cheek lightly seeing how cute she is right now. "Okay then." I finally agreed. "YEYYY!!! SLEEPOVER WITH TAETAE. WOOHOOOO!!" she scream happily like a crazy girl. Haha
After 30 more minutes, we're finally finishing our assignment. I have inform my parent about this sudden sleepover. They already give me their permission, and ask me to take care of myself and also behave well.
"I'll go take a bath first. You can do whatever you want here. Just make yourself comfortable, okay wife?" She told me. I just smiling dorkily at her as i showed her one of my thumb as the 'okay' sign. She walk out from her room and take her bath. After around 20 minutes, she comes back. "Wife, now it's your turn. Go take your bath. This is your towel. And the bathroom is on the right." She explained "Okay, love. Thanks.." with that i left her in her room and heading to the bathroom. After around 15 minutes, i get inside her room with her pink pajamas. She lend me her pjs, and amazingly all of her pjs have the same color which is pink, just with different model. She's really a big fan of pink color. "Aigoo.. come here you, kiddo." She suddenly put down the magazine that she reads and beckoning me to walk to her. "Sit here and gimme your towel." She demands. I obediently do as she told. I sit in front of her and give her my towel. "My wife is such a baby, isn't she? Your hair is still dripping wet like this. Do you know how to dry your wet hair, taetae?" She teases me. I just decide not too argue since i was secretly enjoying our closeness right now. She was right behind me, drying my hair with the towel, while my back is facing her with a very close distant. I can feel her body heat around me, and some times our body will brushed against each other. Her body slightly leaning on me. and the good smells of her, maybe the combination of her shampoo, her body soap, and also her body lotion really make me feel so dizzy right now, but of course in a good way. I can't take it anymore. So i grab her hands, and turn my back to facing her. I smile at her before i lean in and give her a quick peck on her lips. Her eyes widden in surprise. "T-tae.." seeing her shy and flustered face make me let out a small chuckle.
"Yes wife?" "W-why?" "Can't i kiss my wife?" I smirk at her "Ah.. uhm.." seeing her stuttering like that make me laugh. How cute she is! "Yaahhh!" She hits my arms "Aw! Okay okay.. no more teasing. No more stealing kisses." I said to her as i hardly trying to suppress my laugh "NO!" She suddenly yelled. "Eh? What no?" I asked her confusedly She just bend her head low and avoiding my eyes as she speaks, "It's okay with no more teasing. But stealing kisses, err you still can." She shyly said. "Hahaha.. aigoo my cute wife. Noted ma'am!" I playfully told her. I lay my tired body on her bed. And soon she follows me and laying close beside me. Both of us laying while facing the ceiling. Some minutes of comfortable silence fills in this room before i broke the silence as i speak. I want to ask her something that bothering my mind. "Fany-ah.." i softly calling for her "Yes taetae?" "Was that your first kiss?" I daringly ask her. My heart thumping so damn fast because i'm afraid with her answer. I'm curious but at the same time i'm afraid that i might get hurt again once i hear her answer.
"No." She answers shortly. And again, my heart aching. It means nickhun already kissed her before? Of course he did. They have dating each other for 2 years. What am i expecting for actually? I silently scold myself. Suddenly i feel a movement on the bed. I see her moved her body and facing me right now. Instinctively i also moved my body to face her. "That was my first peck tae." She smiled so ever sweetly at me. Suddenly she leans closer and closer until there's not much distant left between us. Our nose slightly brushed again each other and i instinctively closed my eyes. Shortly after that, i can feel something soft, warm and wet against my lips. I know it's her plump lips. At first our lips just stay there against each other lips without making any movement. Suddenly i feel an urge to do more. So i did. I start to nibbling and biting softly her lips. It's also my first kiss so i never know how to kiss someone rightly. But i will just follow my instinct. After some good minutes, we're finally broke the kiss as we're panting hard from the lack of oxygen. We look at each other eyes lovingly. No words needed because both of us know how much we love each other just by looking into each other eyes like this. "And that was my first kiss, taetae.." she finally speaks and showing me her most beautiful eyesmile. I smile back at her. "I thought nickhun...." i can't finish on my words as i feel her lips on mine again, stoping me from saying any more word. "No, love. It's not him or anyone else. But you." She speaks once our lips parted. I just smiling widely at her. "Aww.. how i love this." She said and touch my chin, the place that i believe will curve whenever i smile. "You have your eyesmile, so i need mine too." I said while smiling again, showing her my chin dimple that she like the most.
She lean in closer again and give a peck on my chin. I pull her down to me and hug her tight. She just laying on top of me, enjoying my warmth around her body. "I love you so much, kim taeyeon." She said while her head resting comfortably on the crook of my neck. "I love you too, tiffany hwang." I said as i kiss her head and hug her even tighter.
Should i give up? Tiffany's POV i wake up due to the sound of my phone's alarm. i let out a sleepy yawn, and stretch out my body lazily. but suddenly my left hand bump into something soft, so i immediately check on my left side in worry. a wide smile crept into my face once i see the most cutest thing alive beside me. my taetae is still sleeping soundly. with her messy bed hair and her eyes shut tightly, but her mouth keep mumbling something incoherent. guess she's a sleep talker. i trying so hard not to let out a squeal or pinch her right now. i wish she can always be the first thing i see in the morning, and the last thing is see before i sleep in the night, everyday in my life. honestly i don't have a heart to wake her up, but seeing the clock, i realize i need to wake her up now or else we're going to be late to go to school. "taetae.." i try to calling for her name while my hands are trying to shake her body a little. "5 more minutes, mom." she mumbles. i let out a giggle seeing her like that.
"love, i'm not your mom. i'm your wife. now please wake up." hearing that, she finally open one of her eyes and look at me sleepily. "tiff? how come? ah.. right.. i was sleepover-ing in your house last night." she finally aware of what happening here. "i'm so sleepy, loveeee.." she's whining at me while her hands reaching for me, and once they find it, she wraps her arms around me, hugging me. "i know, love. but we still have class today. c'mon.." i try to pull her up, but she resists. "it's because of you, love. last night we were keep talking until dawn came." being a naughty kid she is, now she puts the blame on me. you're lucky that i love you, kim. or else.. i thought evilly inside of my head. "and you were also keep talking to me, love. i have remind you to sleep, but you didn't mind my warning. so i let you be, because i love you. remember that." i defended myself "geurae.. geurae.. it's all because our love then. blame on our love." she speak nonsensely, the side effect of her drowsiness i guess. i just stroke her hair softly as i speak again, "tae, you need to know that i really love having this kind of nonsense morning conversation with you right now. i really do. but we need to get ready to go to school. c'monnnn!" "aishh.. fine fine. but gimme my morning kiss first.." she asked cutely while puckering her lips i just smile at her before leaning forward and give a quick peck on her lips. "there.. happy now?" i said "not really. because it was just a peck. but yeah, it's fine for now." she said and start to rub her eyes. "i'll go take my bath first. and you don't fall asleep again, kay? i won't take long." i said to her before i go out from my bedroom to take my bath.
taeyeon and i were walking together hand in hand to our school. when we walk in the school corridor, i suddenly hear someone's calling for my name. gawd! not him please.. it was nickhun walking toward us with his bright perfect smile that can melts every girl's heart. i used to be one of those girls too, but not again since that cute dork come into my life. i look at taeyeon worriedly. she immediately let go of my hand that she holds, and this sudden lost contact making me feel so cold, both of my hand, and also in inside of me. "tae.." i said softly, almost like a pleading "just go talk with him." she said coldly, and it scares me. "but.." she cuts on my words "it's okay, tiff. i'll wait for you in the class." with that she turns her back on me and starts to walk away. i really want to grab her hand to make her stay. but i can't with nickhun standing in front of me like this now. i force a smile when he's smiling brightly at me. "hi, babe." he greets me "hi, oppa," i said back trying so hard to sounds normal even though i'm so damn worry about taeyeon right now. "are you okay? you look kind of troubled." he said. damn, i forget he is my boyfriend for 2 years, of course he will realize if something wrong happen to me.
"ani, i'm fine oppa. maybe it's because i was still sleepy. last night taeyeon sleepover in my house, and we were talking until dawn. it cost we to got lack of sleep." i try to make a reasonable reason for him to believe me. "ah i see. so that's why you didn't text or call me for all day long yesterday? because you have your best friend with you? so you're forgetting about your boyfriend?" he asked with a fake sad hurful look to tease me "ah, jeongmal mianhae oppa. yesterday we were hardly working on our economic assignment. so yeah.. kind of busy.. sorry oppa.." i make another excuse. "haha.. it's okay babe. i was just teasing you. now c'mon. i'll walk you to your class." he said and offering me his right hand to hold. i hesitantly took his hand and hold it loosely. but i can't do anything when he holds mine firmly. mian, taeyeon-ah.
in front of the class i immediately let go of his hand once we arrive in front of my class. i'm afraid taeyeon will see it. "study well, babe. see you after school?" he asked me. omg, what should i say? how to refuse him? but i don't want to make him sad. but how about taeyeon? ah, usually she will go home with sunny right? make up a little lie won't hurt, i guess. "okay oppa. see you after school." i finally said "good. see you." with that he leans closer to me and give me a peck on my cheek. i was too shocked to even blink an eye. i didn't anticipate it. seeing my flustered face, he just let out a small chuckle and tap my nose lightly before he left. he leave me there dumbfounded. now i just can hope taeyeon didn't see any of it.
taeyeon's POV i know i shouldn't act like this. i know i should trying to be more understanding about tiffany's position right now. i know she loves me, and she just don't have a heart to hurt nichkhun. but i can't deny it. i feel jealous whenever i see her with him. no matter how many times she told me that she love me, it won't change the fact that she's still his girlfriend, and i am just her best friend. instead of throwing a tantrum to her, i better leave her alone with him for now. i keep waiting and waiting for tiffany. why she takes so long? i start to feel that jealousy again arising in me. finally, i see her walking hand in hand with him. damn it! calm down taeyeon-ah, calm down. maybe it was nichkhun oppa who's holding her hand first, and so she left with no choice, so they are walking hand in hand like that. i try to calming down myself. inhales.. exhaless.. inhales.. exhales.. but i really can't take it anymore when i see him kissed tiffany's cheek. i almost kick the chair in front of me out of anger but i try to hold it in. and finally i see tiffany walk in. but why she looks so scare like that? wait, am i scaring her? damn it kim! you did! you scaring her. now fix what you have done! i mentally scold myself. "fany-ah.. you okay?" i asked her softly. and my anger starts to subsides. "i..i'am fine tae. you okay?" now it's her turn to asked me back the exact same question. ah, she must be feel so scare about what my reaction will be with her and nichkhun together like that. "i'm fine, you silly. don't worry about that. i understand. he's still your boyfriend. but i am the one that you love right? right love?" i asked playfully. seeing the normal me is back, she can form a smile again on her face. she looks so relieved. "thanks taetae. yes, you are the one that i love. i love you so much." she said and suddenly give me a tight hug. i just let out a small smile and hug her back.
the school bell is ringing again for the third time today. it means it's already the end of the school hours. everyone looks so happy and hyper all over again whenever the school bell is ringing like this. so do tiffany and i. we start to gathering our things and put it in to our bags. "love, want to go home together?" i asked her "ah.. i think i can't tae. i need to go somewhere first before going back home." she said "want me to come with you?" i asked again "no need, love. i can go there by myself. by the way you will directly going back home with sunny like usually right?" she asked. "yeah, i will. why?" "nah, just asking." she said and smile a little at me. weird, why i feel like she's hiding something from me? no, i should't think negatively like that about her. what am i thinking? stupid kim! i mentally smack myself for my silly thought. "okay then. bye wifey." i said and waving my hand at her as i walk out from my class and looking for my danshin partner.
i was walking side by side with sunny when she suddenly speak, or half-screaming to exact. "oh my God tae! i need to buy something first in the bookstore for my geography assignment tomorrow." she said "aigoo, so we need to go back and go to the bookstore?" "yeah.. if you don't mind to go with me. but if you want to go home first, you can. i won't force you." she said coolly, but i know actually she wants me to accompany her.
"really? i may go home now?" i decide to tease her more "yeah you can. you can leave me, just let me be without anyone beside me, walking by myself to that far faraway bookstore, alone, lonely, pathetic." she acts all pitiful in front of me. "hahaha.. geurae. arraseo.. i'll go with you. you're so lucky for having a great friend like me." i playfully told her "yay! thanks taengoo! i know i can always count on you!" she said happily and giving me a big bear hug to show how thankful she is. i just gladly hug her back before we continue to walk to that bookstore. the bookstore that sunny want to go is located inside one of a big mall near our school. once we're arived there, i let sunny wanders by herself inside the bookstore, while i also walk aimlessly there. suddenly my eyes caught something. anger starts to arising again inside of me. but this anger is nothing compare to the pain that stabbing my heart right now. i feel so betrayed and hurt. so i decide to walk out from the bookstore, and following them. i keep walking silently behind them. i see them talking while laughing happily, how their hands keep holding onto each other, and how he keeps stroking her head lovingly. yeah, i see all of those things right in front of my eyes. when i think that i have seen more than enough, i decide to walk to where they are sitting together right now. once i stand right in front of them, i can see tiffany's eyes get widened in shock, her face turns pale, and her eyes starts to get teary. but i won't care about that now. not after she lied to me and betrayed me like this. i inhales deeply once before i put a fake smile on my face as i speak to him. "sorry oppa, for disturbing your date. but may i speak with your girlfriend for a sec?"
"ah taeyeon! sure sure.." he said casually. i know he might be so clueless and not aware about what's happening here with me and his girlfriend because he never know about anything right from the start. lucky, him. i thought. i pull tiffany's hand, and drag her with me. her hand is so cold. guess she's so damn nervous and afraid right now. but not that i care. it's none of my business anymore. i told to myself whenever my heart start to weaken again seeing her like this in front of me. no, i can't be fooled again by her. no, you can't kim! "let's make it short and simple for us. start from now, we're just merely a stranger to each other, tiffany hwang. oh, sorry, i shouldn't mentioning your name because we're just a stranger right? and stranger won't talk to each other. so let's just ended all of this once for all. i give up on you. i give up on us. have a good life with your boyfriend." with that i turn my back on her, and start to walk away. realizing that my tears are starts to falling heavily, i quicken my steps, and starts to running as fast as i could. i don't care with people's eyes who's eyeing me weirdly. i don't care with anything right now. all i know is, my heart is finally exploded. it scatters into million pieces. i don't know how to explain what i feel right now. all i can say is, it hurts, so much. why you lied to me fany-ah? do you even love me in the first place? is your love for me also a lie? i don't know, i really don't know. The more i think about it, the more my head hurts. my heart? it's already damaged so bad until i can't feel anything anymore. i don't know what to feel anymore.
Only you Tiffany's POV I was too shocked to even try to defend myself or give a proper explanation to her. But why should i defend myself? I was at fault. I was lying to her, i betrayed her, i broke her trust. Why i selfishly did this to her? Looking at him standing in front of me with worry all over his face also didn't help me much. It's just adding more burden and guilty for me to feel. I don't want to hurt him or her. Because i really care about them. But in the end, i just hurt them both. I'm really such a monster. I keep trying to stop my tears, but i just can't. It's the end for me and her. She said it clear. She gave up on me, she gave up on us. We're nothing but a stranger to each other now. And my world is crumbling now without her in it. "Babe.. what happen? What did taeyeon said to you? Why are you crying like this? Babe.. please talk to me. You're scaring me.." he said almost more like a plead. I can feel how much he cares about me, how much he loves me. "Oppa.. i just don't feeling well. C-can you please send me home?" I said with my weak voice. "Okay then. C'mon.." he said and hold my hand firmly as he try to keep me steady and secure. I should be happy for having him by my side. But why my heart saying different thing? Since when my heart is changing? Since when did my heart stop beating for him like its used to? Since when my heart starts to beating for her? Taeyeon-ah, what are you doing right now? I missed you.. Are you okay? Please be. I'm sorry for everything..
(Taeyeon's POV)
I was sleeping in my room after so many tiring hours of crying, when suddenly i hear my phone ringing loudly. I groaned as i try to find that ringing thing. "Yoboseyo?" I speak once i put my phone against my ear without even bother to open my eyes. My eyes hurts a lot maybe because i was crying too much. My eyes must be swollen so bad right now. "Taeyeon-ah!" It's jessica's panic voice i know. "What happen sica-ah?" "Do you know what happen to tiff? Her mom just called me asking what happen to her daughter because she was locking herself in her room since afternoon. She didn't open her door for anyone, she didn't want to eat anything, and refusing to talk with anyone. Even worse, her mom keep hearing her crying inside her room. And it makes her mom worry a lot. So she called me to ask whether i know something or not. But i really don't have any idea about what happened to her. You are the closest one to her, so that's why i'm calling you. Perhaps, do you know something tae?" Jessica asking me worriedly. Damn it! I really shouldn't care about any of this, but why my heart is aching hearing this from jessica? And why did she torturing herself like that?! "I.. i don't know either, sica-yah." I lied to her "Oo..kayy. but please try to talk to her, taeyeon-ah. She always listen to everything you said. Maybe this time that stonehead will also listen to you." "Okay, i will try to call her." I finally said even though i'm not sure with my own answer. "Good. Thanks taeng!" "No prob, sica.." with that we end our call.
I was debating with myself for half hour. Should i call her? Should i not? Should i? But she lied to me, she cheated on me! Aaarrghh what to do?! In the end my mind lose, and my heart win like always. I try to call her.... But her phone is not active. I keep trying to call her, but to no avail, she turned off her phone. I start to feel worry now. I hope she won't do something stupid or anything that can hurt herself. With that thought in my mind, i start to running out from my bedroom, grabbing my brother's car key and driving away using his car. In front of tiffany's house.. "Annyeonghaseyo auntie.." i politely greet tiffany's mom. "Ah Taeyeon! Hello.." she greets me back just as friendly as always. "Auntie.. is tiffany still locking herself in her bedroom right now?" I daringly asked. I see a sad look on tiffany's mom eyes. "Yes, she's still locking herself inside her bedroom. She haven't eat anything since afternoon and i keep hearing her crying. Whenever i try to talk to her, she'll ignoring me and just keep crying. She makes me worry a lot." "Ah well, i'll try to talk to her, auntie if you don't mind." I said while avoiding her eyes because i start to feel guilty. I was the reason behind her daughter act. "Please do taeyeon-ah. I know she's the closest with jessie and you. So i hope she'll at least listen to you." I just nodded weakly at her, with still avoiding her gaze. In front of tiffany's bedroom door.. *knock* *knock*
"Mom.. please.. just leave me alone." Said tiffany with her hoarse voice. "Fany-ah.. it's me, taeyeon. Please open the door." "Taeyeon? Why are you here? You said we're just a stranger to each other right? You.. you shouldn't come to a stranger house." She chuckle bitterly at her own words. And i can hear her soft sobbing. I sigh heavily before i speak again.. "Listen tiff, locking youself like this won't change anything. Stop torturing yourself. Now open the door!" I said half screaming desperately. "NO! I WON'T! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!" She yelled back from inside. I won't give up so easily. I won't back down now. So i decide to do something crazy, hoping it will works. I take few steps backward, and start to running toward the door. I use my shoulder to push the door, trying to break in. It hurts a lot when my body bumps into the hard door. But i try to bear the pain. *BRAK!* "YAH! KIM TAEYEON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I ignore her as i try again for the second time. *BRAK!* "TAEYEON! STOP IT!" I won't give up. So i do it again for the third time with no hesitation. *BRAK!* "Taeyeon please stop! You're hurting yourself!" Now she speaks way more softer than before, more like a plead to me. Shortly after that, she opens her door, and standing in front of me with her messy hair and puffy eyes.
"Stop hurting yourself, tae. Don't be in pain anymore because of me. I didn't deserve your kindness. Now please leave." She said with teary eyes. I know i should just leave her now. But somehow my feet feel so heavy to move. It's like my feet have been glued to where i stand right now. I really want to hug her to comfort her but i know i shouldn't. So instead, i slowly lifting my hand to touch her face and use my thumb to wipe away her tears. "Stop crying now. Go eat something. You make your mom feel so worry you know. Take care of yourself, tiff. Don't do anything stupid that can harm yourself." With that i start to turn my back and walk away from her.
It's been a week since the day tiffany and i 'break up'. Well, i know i can't called it as a break up because we were never officially dating each other or something. Our status is never clear because we were too naive to think that our love itself is already enough. Ha! Silly me. I just can't find any term or word to explain it, so let's just called it as a break up of taeny. Yeah.. it's been a week. And there's no day i go through without missing her badly. There's no day without having her in my mind. I really missed her, but i know i can do nothing but give up and walk away from her. You know what worse? It's when you're missing someone who's actually sitting right next to you. She seems so close yet so far. She's there beside me, but i can't reach her. We're really like a stranger to each other now. A stanger with a lot of memories. Our friends do realize that something happened to me and tiffany because the so inseparable taeny become the very awkward taeny. It's like tiffany and i keep avoiding each other, and slowly but sure gets drifted apart. They have asked about this to me and i believe to tiffany too. But i'll just keep saying that we're fine, just a little bit argument. I know i was really bad at lying, and i know they won't buy my lie, but what can i do? What do you expect me to do? It's not like i can really tell them about what's happening with me and tiffany, right? What will they think about us? I just can't tell them. At least for now. Because i don't want to lose them. I don't want them to hate me. And i don't want to scare them away. I've lost her, now i don't want to lose any of them. *sigh* my life is so ruined.
Suddenly i heard sooyoung's voice and it's bring me back to the reality after some daydreaming times i had. "So will you come, taeng?" She asked me and the other just look at me expectantly as she speaks. Damn it! I don't have any idea about what she's asking me right now. "Err soo.. i was kind of spacing out for awhile when you were talking. So i didn't really catch it. Mian.." "Yah! What's wrong with you tae? Lately you've been keep spacing out like this. You become more quiet and sad. You want to tell us what happen? We're always here for you, tae. You have us. You can lean on us whenever you want." Said the shikshin. Actually i was so touched with her words and my eyes start to get teary. But i can't cry in front of them right now. It's enough for me to cry myself to sleep in every night. Beside i don't want to make them more worry about me. And if they ask me about why i'm crying, i just can't tell them why. So i put up a facade and smiling dorkily at her. "Aigoooo.. what do you mean, sooyoung-ah? I'm fine, you silly. I was just tired with the school stuffs and also i keep getting my insomnia lately. I got lack of sleep. So that's why.. so stop worrying about me because i'm really fine." I said and playfully patting the shiksin's head. I'm lucky because we are sitting right now, so i can reach for that giant's head. If we are standing right now, you tell me, how can i pat her head? I'll need a ladder or at least chair to be able to reach her head. For a sec, my eyes meet tiffany's eyes. She looks so worry and sad....for me? Really? She still care about me? Ah, don't be a fool taeyeon-ah. Wake up from your dream. Don't get your hope up just to be crashing down later. I reminded myself. "So what was you asking me again?" I asked sooyoung
"I was asking you, will you come to watch the Choir club's showcase on saturday night? Tiffany and jessica will perform like always. So we were discussing about who can come and who can't. So will you?" She asks me. "Ah.. about that.. hmm.. i think i can come." I said finally after thinking quickly for awhile. Seeing her singing won't hurt me right? I'm still her friend somehow. And a friend will support each other right? So i will support her just as her friend. "Ah good then!" Said sooyoung while smiling brightly at me.
(Tiffany's POV) *sigh* it's been a week since taeyeon and i decide to end whatever relationship we had. I missed her like a lot. She's always there in my mind, even when nickhun is there beside me. I just can't stop thinking about her. I do feel guilty for keep pretending that i was still the same tiffany who's loving him as much as he does. But i can't do that anymore. I'm so tired of pretending. So tomorrow at the choir showcase, i will end all of this.
The d-day of choir showcase.. "Good luck jessie.." i said and give a high five to the ice princess. She will be the next performer. "Thanks babe.." she said and smile a little at me. "Next.. jessica jung, c'mon!" Said one of our choir teacher as she beckoning sica to climb up the little stairs to reach the stage.
"Here you go!" I said and showing her my eyesmile "Yeah.. here i go.." she said and start to climb up the stairs. Jessica just finished her performance. She was amazing and stunning like always. She's singing a song that was sung by NiNa, the title is 'Someday' and she also played the piano by herself. See how amazing she is.. One more performer, after that it will be my turn to perform. I feel slightly nervous because i know taeyeon will be there watching over me and also because of my 'mission'. I hope he won't hurt too much because of this. Speaking of the devil, i just got a text message from him. From: Nie Babe.. good luck! ^^ I know your performance will be as great as ever. Love youuu Great.. just great.. he just adds more guilty for me. To: Nie Thanks.. oppa please listen carefully to the song that i'm going to sing later on the stage. This song will convey to you the words that i can't directly tell you. This song is for you oppa. And i'm sorry for everything.. "Tiffany hwang, it's your turn now.." said one of my choir teacher. I just nodded at her. "Break a leg, tiff!" Said the ice princess to me. I just show her both of my thumbs as the 'okay' sign. "Now or never tiff! You can do it!" I try to encouraging myself. The music starts to play beautifully, once it comes the right time, i start to open my mouth and sing..
(Davichi – Secret) Eonje eodiseobuteo ingeonji? Neoreul ango isseodo honjaindeutae Neoreul mannareo ganeun nae balgeoreumi mugeowo Honjainge gakkeum geuriwojyeo Modeungeosi byeonhaegadeusi Yeongwonhal geot gatatdeon uri sarangdo Sigani heureulsurok cheoeumgwa meoreojilsurok Dareun saekkkal dareun hyanggiga na Neoneun moreugo isseo? Mollasseumyeon johkesseo Bimilseureon naui mameul malhal su eobseo Hoksi niga nunchi chaelkkabwaseo, saranghanda malhae bogosipda malhae useumyeo Bangapge nareul bomyeo utneun neo Eonjena nal ttaseuhi baraboneun neo Naneun geureojil motae yejeongwa mami dallaseo Haruga cham deodige neukkyeojyeo Neoneun moreugo isseo? Mollasseumyeon johkesseo Bimilseureon naui mameul malhal su eobseo Hoksi niga nunchi chaelkkabwaseo saranghanda Malhae bogosipda malhae useumyeo Jebal gareuchyeojwoyo, igeotdo sarangingayo? Jamsi seuchyeoganeun baramilkkayo? Ireon nal yongseohajima! Sarangi meomchungeolkka? Nappeun yeojaingeolkka?
Neoneun moreugo isseo? Mollasseumyeon johkesseo Bimilseureon naui mameul malhal su eobseo Hoksi niga nunchi chaelkkabwaseo saranghanda malhae, bogosipda malhae sigeobeorin nae maeum, mianhae.. At some time, at some point Even when I was holding you, I felt alone My footsteps to you seemed so heavy And sometimes, I missed being alone Everything changes, Even our love that we thought would last forever. The more time passes, the farther we are from the beginning It turned into a different color, a different scent You don’t know right? I hope you don’t know I can’t tell you the secret in my heart So in case you figure it out, I’ll tell you that I love you I’ll tell you that I miss you with a smile You greet me warmly and smile You always look at me lovingly I can’t do that since my heart is different from before One day seems so long for me You don’t know right? I hope you don’t know I can’t tell you the secret in my heart So in case you figure it out, I’ll tell you that I love you I’ll tell you that I miss you with a smile
Please teach me, is this love as well ? Or is this just a phase ? Don’t forgive me for being like this! Did love stop ? Am I a bad woman ? You don’t know right? I hope you don’t know I can’t tell you the secret in my heart So in case you figure it out, I’ll tell you that I love you I’ll tell you that I miss you with a smile I’m sorry for my colded heart..
Once i finished the song, i heard a loud clap from the audiences in front of me. I give them my bow and starts to walk down the stage. I can feel my teary eyes and tears start to running down freely from my eyes. I wipe it away harshly with my hand. But somehow i feel so relieved. It's like a very heavy burden have been lifted from my shoulder. "You did it, tiff. You really did it." I said softly to myself.
Can we? "Tiff, you're okay?" Said jessica as she rushing toward me with worry all over her face. "I'm fine, jessie. Don't worry.." "Yaahh.. how can i'm not worry seeing you shedding tears like this? What happen?" She asked me again "I'm breaking up with nickhun oppa.." i said calmly "WHATTTT??!! seriously tiff? Why?" she looks so surprised or shocked to be exact? "My heart changed, sica-yah. It's not beating for him anymore. And i can't keep pretending anymore. I'm so tired, jessie.." i start to sobbing now. I miss her.. i miss taeyeon.. how i hope she'll be here to comfort me right now. Seeing me like this, jessica pulling me into her embrace. And i gladly hugging her back. I really need someone to lean on right now. Jessica's embrace is warm and comforting but it's different with taeyeon's. I miss you, taetae.. Suddenly i heard a loud bang from behind. Someone just slammed the door harshly. Jessica and i immediately look at the door and see nickhun standing there with his angry face. Jessica and i broke the hug as we look at him worriedly. "We need to talk, tiff." Said nickhun with his stern voice "Tiff, do you want me to stay here with you?" Jessica asked worriedly "It's okay jess. I need to talk properly with him.." i said and smile at her to reassuring her. "Okay then. If you need something, just call me. I'll be outside.." "I will.. thank you.."
Right after jessica walks out from the room.. "Tiff you're kidding right? You're not breaking up with me right? RIGHT TIFF??! ANSWER ME!!" he yelled angrily at me. I never seen this side of him before. To be honest he starts to scaring me but i won't back down. I know this is the best for him and me. "I'm sorry opa.. i'm so sorry.. i can't lie to you or myself anymore." I said honestly to him while trying to keep my voice clear even though i'm kind of shaking in the inside. "What happen tiff?? What happen to us? To our love?" He asked bitterly "Guess my heart is changing, oppa. And i can't do anything about that. I'm so sorry.." i keep repeating the "sorry" word all over again because i really don't know what else to say except sorry, sorry and sorry to him. i do feel sorry toward him. "You said you love me, tiff!" he insists. "I did, oppa. I really did loved you. But it was all in the past." "What makes your heart changed, fany-ah? Do you find someone else?!" "I do, oppa. I meet someone amazing who really can turn my world upside down. And i never love someone as much as i love that person. I never care about someone as much as i care for that person. She's special for me, oppa." "She?!" He asked in surprised. "Yes.. it's a 'she'." I confidently said. I'm proud to announce even to the whole world, that i, tiffany hwang have fall in love with my best friend, kim taeyeon. I wait and wait to see his reaction. I have anticipated for his disgusted look on his face or something after knowing his ex girlfriend is not 'normal'. But instead of seeing his disgusted face, he just smile sadly at me.
"It's taeyeon right?" He asked and amazingly said it calmly "H-how d-do you know?" I asked confusedly. "It's obvious, tiff. They way you smile at her, the way you talk to her. You look so happy whenever you talked about her. And the way you look at her is exactly the same like the way you used to look at me. I was just too naive to admit it, so i just pretend not to see it." "I thought i'm losing you for another man. But if it's taeyeon, then i think i can't win this competition against her. Right tiff?" He chuckled bitterly.
(Jessica's POV) What should i do now? what shoud i do?! Nickhun oppa looks so upset. He won't hurt tiffany, right? I won't just sit back and do nothing if he really hurt my friend. But what should i do now? Ah! I need those girls to help me if something bad really happened.. 9 girls VS 1 boy, we will win! Good idea, jessica jung.. i shamelessly spare a time to complimented myself in this kind of urgent situation. I immediately reaching out for my mobile phone and send a chat to our group chat. *girls' generation* Don't ask me why we named it "girls' generation". Those dorks said that name is cute and catchy so they decide to gave that name for our group chat's name. Jessica Jung: YETERA!! (GUYS!!) Emergency! Can you guys meet me at the backstage? N-OW! Jung Yoona: unnie what happen? You okay?? Kwon Yuri: yah! What happen? Don't make us worry sica-yah..
Jessica Jung: it's about tiffany! Arghh can you guys please come first? Later we can talk Kim Taeyeon: what happen to tiffany???? Seo Juhyun: what happen to fany unnie? Is she alright? We're on our way to the backstage right now. Please wait for us unnie.. Jessica Jung: ppalliwaaa..
After around 3 minutes, i see 7 girls running toward me with their worry eyes. "Where's fany? What happen to her? Is she alright? Answer me sica-yaahhh.." Taeyeon is the first person to ask me and bombarded me with her questions. She really worry about tiffany, i see. "Calm down, tae! Tiffany is inside that room right now with nickhun. They have been there for 20 minutes now." "Then what's the emergency, sica-yah? Aigoo.. i was peacefully eating my burger when you send your chat and i just hardly swallow it in 3 bites, luckily i didn't choked myself to death, just so i can run to where you are. I thought something bad is happen." Said the shikshin "It's really an emergency, girls! Nickhun oppa looks so upset and angry. i guess it's because Tiffany is breaking up with him." I finally tell them the main problem here. "MWO??!" Those 7 dorks said in unison with their so shocked expression, especially the queen of dork, taengoo. "W-what? W-why?" She even can't speak properly now. "I don't know either, taeng. I want to ask her, but suddenly nickhun oppa came. And tiffany asked me to leave them so they can talk. And what worry me the most is the scary expression on nickhun face. i never seen him like that before. He looks so sad, hurt, and angry at the same time.
Now they have talked for almost 30 minutes. I hope he didn't do anything stupid that can hurt tiff. Or else i'm going to kill him! i swear!" I said sternly. Tiffany is not just a friend for me. But she's already like my own sister, just like yoona and also the other 6 girls. We're all already like a sister to each other. So i won't let anything or anyone to hurts my sister. Suddenly i see taeyeon running to the room where tiffany and nickhun are right now and barge in. We're all just too shocked with her sudden move so we can do nothing to stop her reckless act.
(Tiffany's POV) I jolted in surprise when i heard another loud bang from behind me. This time is louder than before and i heard some screams too following but that scream sounds familiar in my ear somehow. "Taeyeon!!" Those voice scream in unison. Once i look at the door, i see taeyeon standing there with her unreadable expression. She immediately walks in front of me so now she's standing in between me and nickhun. One of her hand is reaching for mine behind her back. At first i was surprised too with her sudden act but later all i feel is happiness and secureness with her in front of me right now. "Oppa, have you finish your talk with tiffany?" She asked calmly (like always) even though i can feel her hand holding mine tighter. I can see the other 7 girls standing outside the door and peeking from the small open space of the open door. I must have make them worry a lot about me. *sigh* "Yes, now i'll go. Ah, please take care of tiffany, taeyeon-ah." Nickhun oppa said and patting taeyeon's shoulder lightly as he walks away and leaving us. "You're okay?" Taeyeon immediately turns her back to face me and i can see worry and care written clearly all over her face.
"I'm okay, taeyeon-ah. As long as you're here with me." I smile at her contently. I really want to hug her right now but i'm afraid she doesn't want it. But amazingly she seems to understand. Is she a mind reader? because she suddenly leans her body closer to me and wrap me protectively in her warm embrace. I immediately hug her back and pressed my body closer to her even though there's no space anymore between us right now. How i missed her warmth around me like this. How i missed her. I feel like so emotional right now and tears start forming on the corner of my eyes. "I miss you, taetae.." i said daringly with my shaking voice. "sstt.. i'm here now.." she said softly as she hugs me tighter.
I meet the other girls outside. They immediately bombarding me with lots of question. I try to answer them one by one even though their question is kind of similar with one and another. Like about what happen inside that room? Why i'm breaking up with nickhun? Is he did something bad to me and stuffs. After we're finish with the talk, we decide to have our dinner together. So here we are, at one of the cafe near our school. "I can't believe khunfany is breaking up today." Said sooyoung playfully while she's busy munching on her foods. "So what will be next, fany-ah? How about yulti?" Yuri just joining sooyoung to teasing me "No, i think jeti will do.." see?! Even the ice princess is joining the silly gang now. "Aniii! It must be taeny! I'll ship taeny forever." Said the shikshin again "Oh i'm sorry Soo, but taeyeon is mine. Dandyu couple forever and ever.." Just like that we're keep bickering and talking nonsense. And in the end we're just laughing at our silliness.
I keep stealing glances at taeyeon who's sitting in front of me right now. She can smiles and laugh with us right now but i know her too well to able to realize that actually she's having something running in her mind right now. So i decide to text her. Tiffany Hwang: you're ok? You seems kinda troubled.. She didn't look at her phone so i kick her leg lightly under the table. "Aw! Yah! Who's kicking me?" Said hyoyeon angrily. Upss guess i kick the wrong person. So i try to act as innocent as i could and pretend like i did nothing wrong. and hyoyeon start to suspecting and accusing everyone but me. Ha! Luckily my acting skill is quite good. kekeke.. mianhae hyoyeon-ah.. I try again, this time i fake a cough to make her look at me. but to my dismay, it's still didn't work well. but at least this time she spares a glance at me. so i take that chance and mouthing something to her. "Check-your-phone." That's what i'm trying to say. "What?" She's mouthing back in silent. "Check-your-phone." I said again. "What??" Gosh! She can be really slow sometimes. "Tiffany wants you to check your phone, tae." Said hyoyeon suddenly with her flat tone. I just facepalmed myself. "Oh." Taeyeon said shortly (and innocently) and immediately she takes out her phone to check it. Kim taeyeon: i'm fine, really :) TF: oh you're not tae. I know you.. TY: aish, sometimes i'm wondering do you have a sixth sense or something, fany-ah >.<"
TF: keke.. my sixth sense will only works for you, tae.. TY: well.. i don't know i should feel happy or sad for that T.T TF: hahaha.. now now.. tell me what's wrong! TY: err.. do you have free time after this? We can talk later. Just the two of us. If you don't mind.. TF: of course i don't mind tae. Let's talk later, kay? TY: okay ^^
In front of the cafe.. "So see you tomorrow, unnies. Please have a safe journey back home." Said the youngest maknae and bowing at us before she leaves. "Goodbye babyseo.. stay safe!" said taeyeon half screaming at her as maknae starts to walk away. "Now me and sica unnie will leave too. Goodbye unnies.. see you guys tomorrow at school, kay? Jaljaaa.." said yoona as she links her arm with her already-sleepy sister who's standing beside her. "bye kids!" Jessica said and yawning again for the...i don't know how many times. I lost count already.. "Bye yoongie, bye sica.. good night.." said the rest of us in unison One by one, all of us starts to leave and heading back to our own respective home. It's now only me, taeyeon and sunny who's still standing in front of the cafe.
"Taeng.. wanna go home together with me?" Sunny asked taeyeon who's standing beside me right now. "i think i can't. I have to go somewhere first sunkyu-yah. mian.." Taeyeon answered "Ah, okay then. See you tomorrow, taeny!" She said and waving at us. With that, taeyeon and i start to walk together. I daringly grab her hand and intertwined it with mine. I'm glad she didn't resist me and instead hold my hand back even tighter. "Where are we going, tae?" I asked while we're walking together side by side. "My home.." she said casually as in the matter-of-fact manner. "Huh??" "Why? You don't want it?" She suddenly stops on her track and look at me, it's causing me to stop abruptly too. "A-Ani.. let's go then." I finally said and she starts to walk again while pulling me with her. Our hands never leave each other even for a second. and i couldn't be any happier for that. "I once sleepover in your place. Now it's time for you to sleepover in my home. Go call your parents, tell them you're going to sleepover in my place tonight. We had lots of things to catch up, don't you think?" "Ah.. okay then." Just like that, i agree with her. As always i just obediently do whatever she asks me to do. She always has this power over me. but not that i mind, because honestly i kinda like it how she always be the one and only person who can 'tamed' me. God! I'm so whipped!
In taeyeon's house "You want to take your bath first or me first?" She asked me once we get inside her room.
"Umm.. you first?" "Okay then. I won't take long. Just play with yourself as i take my bath, kay?" She said and i just nod at her before she leaves the room. I used the meantimes to looking around her room. Her room is dominated with baby blue color, unlike mine, pink all over the place. I also see some of her childhood pictures. Aww.. she's so cute when she was a kid. But now she's STILL cute though.. Once she comes back, i immediately grab my things and take my turn to take my bath. After i finish my bath, i walk inside her room and see she her laying on her bed while playing with her phone. I just silently approaching her and laying beside her. Realizing my presence, she immediately put down her phone on the nightstand beside her bed and move her position to facing me. I instinctively do the same gesture and look at her. For some good seconds we're just looking into each other eyes lovingly as if we're trying to find something there, before she finally breaks the silence first as she speaks, "So.. i was thinking.. why were you breaking up with nickhun, fany-ah?" She asked while her hand slowly reaching for mine to hold. Feeling her soft skin on me, make me feel so warm in the inside. I immediately intertwining our hands together as i speak. "Do you really didn't know the reason why i'm breaking up with him, tae?" I asked curiously. I also feel a tad of pain if she really didn't have a clue about why i'm breaking up with nickhun. It's obviously because i love her so damn much. Can't she see that? "I might know the reason. But i just want to hear it directly from you." She smirks a little. "Yah! Should i really say it? I know you know it, tae!" I pouted after knowing that she just want to tease me. "I'll be so happy if you tell me the reason, fany-ah. I'll be glad to hear that come out directly from your mouth." She said and smiling at me. Gosh, how i love her smile.
"Ughh.. fine. It's so damn obvious Kim Taeyeon that the reason why i'm breaking up with him is because i love you so damn much! I can't lied to him anymore. I can't lied to myself anymore. All i ever wanted is you. Not him, not others. It's you. Just you, and it will always be you." *silence* Taeyeon sighs in contentment as she open her mouth to speak, "I missed you, tiffany hwang." She suddenly said and pull me into a hug. I just gladly hug her back as i close my eyes and enjoying her warmth. "I really missed you. And thank you, thank you so much for everything. Thank you for loving me." And i don't know why my eyes suddenly get teary. Suddenly i got so emotional. Once she released the hug, i already let my tears to falling down freely from my eyes. Seeing that, she immediately use her thumbs to wipe away my tears. "Eyy.. why are you crying, you silly? is it a bad thing for me to missing you? That's why you're crying?" She said jokingly and smile sheepishly at me. "I missed you too, taetae. You don't know how much i miss you. I miss you like a lot, up to the point i'm afraid i'll start to lost my sanity because i really can't stop thinking about you, and my mind keep replaying every moment we had shared together over and over again just like an old movie in my head. Please.. c-can we start it all over again? C-can we give it a try for one more time? Can we, tae?" i plead. "I don't know, tiff.. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love you. I really do. But i'm afraid i'll get hurt again. I'm so afraid.." she said weakly more like whispering to me as she closed her tired eyes. I slowly caressing her flawless face, hoping it can make her feel better. "I'm afraid too, tae. But i realized that the thing i feared the most is having another day without you in it. I don't want to lose you again, taeyon-ah. This time i'm more than sure with my feeling for you. I know i have broke your trust once, but i promise you i won't do that ever again. never ever ever. I choose you, tae. There will be no more him, or other in our life. It's just you and me this time. Please tae.."
after some minutes of total silence that feels like years for me, she finally speaks, "Okay then, let's try again." She finally said and smile at me. I just unconsciously shed some more (happy) tears as i tackle her with a very long tight hug. Goodbye tears, goodbye restless night, start from now on i can find back my happiness and my peace. As long as i have that dork beside me, i'm more than ready to face anything. Thank you taetae for giving me this chance. thank you for trusting me once again. this time i'll show you that our love will conquer it all. just promise me to never let me go. just keep holding my hand like this, and i will never let yours go.