THE
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D B G I L L E S
WRITER WITHIN •
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CONTENTS Special Acknowledgements Foreword Introduction How the Book Works Part 1 STORYTELLING
1 Start Smart: The Punctuation Theory Theory of Screenwriting Screenwriting 2 You Can’t Have a Plot Without Things Happening 3 How High Is Your Your Concept? 4 What We Know Isn’t Very Very Interesting, So We Have to Make Stuff Up 5 Mine Your Your Baggage and Demons for Gold 6 Give Your Your Protagonist Protagonis t a Hard Time. Time. A Really Hard Time. Time. 7 The Screenwriter Screenwriter as Jock Jock 8 Why Aristotle Still Matters (and Always Will) 9 Is Your Your Idea Big Enough Enough to Go the Distance? Distance? 10 Before You Can See the World, World, You You Have to Get to the Airport 11 The Importance Importance of Outlines Outlines 12 Eccentrics, or How That That 7-Eleven Clerk with the Bad Eye Can Make Your Script Better 13 The Weenie Weenie Surprise and the “Now “Now What?” Factor 14 The Case of the Missing Third Third Act, or Is It Over Already? 15 The Irony Of Irony
16 The Single Bullet Bullet Theory of the JFK Assassination Assassination and How It Can Help the Plotting of Your Screenplay 17 Having Trouble Trouble Finding Story Ideas? Look Backward. 18 And Then What? 19 The Necessit Necessityy of Treatment reatmentss 20 The Completed Process 21 Adaptation Part 2 CHARACTERIZATION
22 Getting Reacquainted Reacquainte d with Who You Are and Where You’ve You’ve Been 23 How Did Your Your Main Character Character Get There? 24 Touchy-Feely and Warm and Fuzzy vs. Nasty, Bitchy, and Really Evil 25 Show Me, Don’t Tell Me 26 That Which Does Not Kill You You Makes You You Stronger (and Gives You Story Ideas) 27 Public Lives, Private Lives, and Secret Lives Part 3 DIALOGUE AND CONFLICT
28 Nobody Can Teach Teach Anybody How to Write Dialogue 29 Character Motivation Motivation Is a Bitch! 30 Never Discuss Religion or Politics. NOT! Part 4 FINDING YOUR NICHE
31 Which Is the Right Genre for for You? You? 32 Is Animation the Way Way to Go? 33 You’re Over 30 and Starting Your Your First Script. What Do You You Do?
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Part 5 GAME PLANS FOR THE BUSINESS YOU’VE CHOSEN
34 Game Plan No. 1: Sing Sing One Song, But Sing Sing It Well 35 Game Plan No. 2: Don’t Become a Cautionar Cautionaryy Tale Tale 36 Game Plan No. 3: Never Underestimate Underestimate the Persuasiveness Persuasiveness of a Producer 37 Game Plan No. 4: Never Forget That There Is No Instant Gratication for Screenwriters 38 Game Plan No. 5: Don’t Be Too Trusting Trusting.. Assume Everyone Is Lying Until the Check Clears (and Maybe Even Then) 39 Game Plan No. 6: Finish the Efng Script 40 Game Plan No. 7: Be Smart Smart About What You You Write 41 Game Plan No. 8: Ten Checkpoints Your Your Screenplay Must Pass Before It’s Ready to Go 42 Game Plan No. 9: Some Bottom-of-the-Ninth, Bottom-of-the-Ninth, Last-Minute Practical Advice 43 Game Plan No. 10: A Satisfying Ending Appendix: Five Great Books to Add to Your Reference Shelf
FOREWORD What the New Screenwriter Within Means Within Means to You
Since the rst edition of The Screenwriter Within was published in 2000, I’ve received thousands of emails, phone calls, and texts from screenwriters who read the book, my articles, or my blog, Screenwriters Rehab. I listened to their concerns, questions, and feedback, gave it serious thought, and incorporated the input into this new edition edition with approximately 70% new and revised material. If you’re new to screenwriting and about to start your rst screenplay, if you’ve written several scripts, if you’re a fan of the rst edition, if you never heard of it, or if you’re seeking a new career path and thinking of being a screenwriter, you’ll nd this updated version of The Screenwriter Within to be a valuable guide. Just as the world has changed since the book was rst published, so has the plight of the screenwriter, both new and notso-new. Why? Because the movie-making business has also changed. I’ve I’ ve changed chan ged too. too. I’ve I’ve gotten wiser w iser and savvier about how the business of screenwriting works, both as a writer myself, as well as a teacher and writing coach. The key key to success in any profession profession is learnin learning g how to adapt. That certainly applies to screenwriting. In the past, there was a clear differentiation between the studio lm (mainstream Hollywood) and the independent lm world. Now it’s pretty much overlapping. Major stars, directors,
THE SCREENWRITER WITHIN | D.B. Gilles
and established screenwriters are making “smaller” lms. Not only that, but many screenwriters are turning to television, particularly those who write dramas, because TV has become more receptive to drama while Hollywood has not. Notwithstanding the fact that dramas tend to win Oscars: Don’t get me started. Scripts that would’ve been made twenty (or even ten) years ago might not have a chance now. Much like the world we live in, comedies are less innocent. Teenagers and pre-teens are more worldly and sophisticated (but not necessarily smarter) because of the constant ow of media and pop culture information. Stuff they would’ would’ve lik liked in i n the the past pa st bores them t hem now. now. They They need edg edgier ier stuff. Studios are looking for “product” that can reach all ages. That’s why there are so many animated lms. In the past they were few and far between. Not anymore. Studios have found pay dirt in the genre. Little kids love ‘em, as do big kids, adults, parents, and grandparents. If you can get everybody into the theater, life is good. Make only animated lms! Fortunately, movies made specically for television are still a viable viable option. There are a re Lifeti Lifetime, me, ABC Family Family,, MTV MTV, and the the occasional HBO or Sho S howtime wtime origina originall movies, movies, but the market is dwindling. Consider the new technology. On one end you’ve got Avatar . On the other end you’ve got high def digital cameras that are so inexpensive inexp ensive to to use that it’ it’ss virtual vir tually ly impossible to tell if a lm was wa s shot on the cheap. In the past, if a lm went straight to video it was an embarrassment to everyone concerned, especially the writer. But that’s all changed. We’ve become a Netix society. It’s so easy to watch movies online now. Who needs to go to a video store anymore? And who knows if Netix will be around in ve years? It might be superseded super seded by something more technological technologically ly advanced. And of course, there’s On Demand. And lots of people buy DVDs. One way or another, a studio will make a prot.
Foreword
Star-driven vehicles are failing. Look back to the pivotal summer of 2010. Knight and Day with Tom Tom Cruise Cr uise and Killers with Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher both tanked at the box ofce. Until Inception, Leonardo DiCaprio had few box ofce duds. Does this mean the star system is failing? That could be a good thing. No longer will a studio pay an actor/actress a small fortune if there’s a chance the movie will bomb. Instead of looking for star vehicles, maybe studios will just look for good material, i.e., your screenplay will be the star. More Mo re than ever, ever, studios are looking for franchise f ranchises, s, and in doing so they are turning to comic book heroes, old TV shows, and graphic gra phic novels novels for for material, material , rather than placing a big emphasis on original material. That’s bad. They’re looking for a pre-sold audience. In the past, a screenwriter could send a query letter containing a brief logline of a script to an agent and get it read. That’s pretty much over. Secretaries and assistants are instructed to toss them or return them unopened. There was a time during d uring the last ten years where you might be able to reach an agent or manager through email. Those days are gone too, for the most part, primarily because it’s become impossible to nd the email address of someone who can help you. Getting one of those available-tonameofagency.com add the-public info@ nameofagency.com addres resses ses won won’’t do you any good. And if you should get hold of a valid address for an agent, your message will wil l be blocked blocked unless your own own address is i s already in her address book. A screenwriter wanting to get a foothold in the business these days ha hass to be smar sm arter ter now. now. You need to know how to nd that unnd unndable able email email addres addresss and and it isn isn’’t easy ea sy.. You need to gure gure out which up-and-coming agents will read your script or at least read your logline. All is not lost though. Websites like Inktip.com, Scriptpimp.com, Scriptshark.com, and others provide a place for screenwriters to showcase their work.
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These days, a screenplay has to be as close to the goal line as possible when you send it out to an agent, manager, or producer. You can’ can’t just just submit submit a solid draf dr aftt that your friend f riendss and fami family ly like, like, or that the people in your screenwriting workshop or support group loved. It has to be so good that you’ll knock the socks off whoever’s reading it. To help you achieve that and to aid you in learning how to be more informed about the business, the new version of The Screenwriter Scree nwriter Within Within delivers the latest, most useful information.
INTRODUCTION I’ve read more than 3,000 I’ve 3,000 screenplays, treatment treatmen ts, and outlines outl ines — not to mention hundreds of spec scripts — for television, as well as novels and plays. Besides being on the faculty of the Maurice Kanbar Institute of Film Fi lm & Telev elevis ision ion at at New York Univer Universit sity’ y’ss Tisc Tisch h School School of the Arts, Art s, I’ I’ve been a script consultant consulta nt and writin w riting g coach for for many years. I advise screenwriters on how to write and complete a script or improve their already completed screenplays. I guarantee clients two things: If they listen to me I’ll show them how to make their scripts better and bring them closer to the goal line. I never promise that they’ll make a sale because that’s in the hands of the gods. I’ve worked with edgling (and experienced) screenwriters of all ages from all over the world. I’ve learned that we all have a story to tell. I know that the lessons, insights, and strategies I share in this book will help you tell yours and get acquainted with the screenwriter within you. Based on my years as a teacher and script consultant, as well as a writer, writer, I’ I’ve ve learned that tha t many people writing writ ing screenplays screen plays have have never properly learned how to be a screenwriter. In fact, being a screenwriter is much more difcult than writing a screenplay. I know from personal experience. I’ve written eight, had three optioned, sold two and had one made. If someone is doing it right, being a screenwriter is an all-consuming job in and of itself. Just as a screenwriter learns learn s how to to write wr ite a screenplay by by doing it, the same must be said of learning how to be a screenwriter; by doing
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it. But if you don’t know how, you’ll be at a disadvantage in the Hollywood of today. You need more than t han a good or great g reat scr script. ipt. You need a strategy and a game plan. Sophocles Sopho cles had a nice n ice take take on the subject of learning learni ng by doing:
One must learn by doing the thing; for though you think you know it, you have no certainty until you try. The Screenwriter Within will give you what you need to know about writing, writin g, rewriting, polishing, and completing your screenplay,, as well as play a s providing a crash cra sh course in helping you you learn lear n how how to walk the walk, talk the talk, and avoid the traps screenwriters face in Hollywood today.
D. B. Gilles New York Cit City y
HOW THE BOOK WORKS Chapters are of varying length. They are as long or short as it takes tak es to get the information across. acro ss. Some Some make their point point within two pages. Other Otherss take more. more. Some call for writin wr iting g exercis exercises, es, others do not. Some of the thoughts I wanted to convey didn’t merit their own chapters, but needed to be mentioned and learned. To accommodate them, I’ve included numerous small but crucial tips called “Strategies.” They appear between each chapter. Most stand alone in their content. A few provide additional spin on a point previously mentioned. Think of them as an easy-reference troubleshooting guide to turn to while you’re writing rst drafts and especially during rewrites and polishes. In Part 5 you’ll you’ll nd expanded strategies called “Game “Game Plans” Plan s” that will wi ll teach teach you you to be more more professional and Hollywood-savv Holly wood-savvy y.
PART 1 STORY
TELLING “ Some Some movies are released, others escape.” – Hollywood – Hollywood Wisdom
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“ One’s One’s real life is so often the life that one does not lead.” – Oscar – Oscar Wilde
5
CHAPTER 1
Start Smart: The Punctuation Theory of Screenwriting “ For For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” – Aristo Ari stotle tle Completing the rst draft of your screenplay is your primary goal. Without it you can’t begin to rethink, revise, rewrite, and polish it into a script that has a chance of being sold or optioned, or of getting you representation or a producer who might take an interest in you. The rst step s tep to getting getting to the the end of your your rst rs t draft draf t is to learn how to begin it. The most important idea you should retain from this book is the Punctuation Theo Theorr y of Screen Screenwrit writing. ing. Act I Ends With a
?
A man (the hero) meets a woman who is married. (Instigating (Instig ating Event) But her marriage marr iage is an a n unhappy one, one, so they begin a torrid love affair. Will they get caught and, if so, will there be consequences? (Major Dramatic Question introduced.) Think of the Instigating Event as the thing that happens that causes the rest of the story to happen. Think of the Major Dramatic Question as the one thing the audience wants to know.
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Act II Ends With an
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!
The man nds out the woman isn’t married to an ordinary guy. Her husband is a hit man for the mob who is incredibly jealous and ruthless. (New Information) Will our hero run for his life or ght for her? The New Information is the ! It is also the Turning Point for your hero. Because he loves the woman he will most certainly ght for her and this leads us into Act III. Only now, the stakes have been raised. Act III Ends With a
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The hero must nd a way to save not only the woman he loves, but himself, as well as guaranteeing a safe future for them. In doing doing so he reveals his identity to the hit man, m an, who is now out for blood. He wants both the hero and the wo woman man dead. The The hero nds a way to save save them both and eliminate eli minate the hit man. m an. He He does so and the two live happily ever after. Or he dies so that she may live. Or she dies so that he may live. But one way or another, the story has ended. The Major Dramatic Question has been answered. Resolution. The story is over. Unfortunately, this simple thesis is surprisingly difcult to pull off, but once you understand its underlying wisdom, even before you start writing your screenplay, you’ll be at an advantage.. More advantage More about this in subsequent chapters.
Doing the Math I failed Algebra my freshman year of high school and Geometry my sophomore year. Other than the embarrassment of unking and the fact that I had to retake both classes clas ses during summer school, school, I remember remember not being all that worried. I assumed I would never have any use for either discipline in my life.
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I was right. To this day I have never utilized anything I learned (or didn’t learn) in those two classes. I can add, subtract, multiply, and divide. I seldom nd myself in situations where I have to “divide” anything and multiplying isn’t something I do that often. Subtraction and addition come in handy when I balance my checkbook or tally up a check in a restaurant. It wasn’t until I began teaching that the value of mathematics hit me. There’s an understanding in Hollywood that a screenplay has three acts and that most scripts scri pts come in at anyw a nywher heree from 100 to 120 pages. Screenplays are broken down into three acts, although I’ve seen some segmented into ve acts and others (typically movies for television) into seven acts. I prefer the three-act breakdown. What is i s an “act?” “act?” By denition, an act is one of the principal divisions of a theatrical work, origi originating nating with plays and operas. As movies came long after plays and operas it was only natural that screenplays were also separated into acts. In my teaching and script consulting experience, I’ve noticed that most peop people le have have a probl problem em guring g uring out where where the act breaks should fall. This is a problem for almost everyone, even people with a rm understanding of structure. After reading dozens of screenplays that became lms, I began to see a pattern. Act I tended to end anywhere from page 30 to 35. 35. Act Act II tended to end e nd somewhere between bet ween page 82 and 90, and Act III ran from about page 91 to 120. It wass the tra wa tradit ditional ional 120-page 120-page screenpla screenplay y format. (Not (Note: e: In the actual lmed versions versions of most screenpla screenplays, ys, time-wise, the the end of Act I usually comes within the rst thirty-seven to fortytwo minutes of the movie.) I do it a little differently. I encourage people to shoot for 110 pages in their rst drafts. Why this number? Screenplays should not be more than 120 pages. By aiming for 110 pages you have have wiggle w iggle room. Using 120 pages as a s a destination giv g ives es
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you no room to breathe if your screenplay is coming in too long. By aiming for 110 pages, if you absolutely need more pages you can add them. But aim for 120 pages, and if you need more pages you’ll go over the limit and then have to nd 10-pages worth of what you have written and cut them. The 110-page destination also works well if your screenplay isn’t long enough. If you’re about to write FADE OUT on Page 87, it’s too short. Psychologically, by aiming for 110 pages, you can push yourself to crack the 100- to 103-page barrier. Figure that if your nal draft is between 100 and 110 pages, you’re in good shape. And if your nal draft needs to be longer longer,, anywhere anywhere between bet ween 110 and 120 120 pages page s wi will ll work. By utilizing the Punctuation Theory, it becomes easy to pinpoint where the act breaks should occur. And by forcing yourself to remember that the ? should be presented between pages 30 and 32 (ideally page 30) and that the ! should fall around page 82, you won’t nd yourself having a rst act that ends too early (say, page 23) or comes too late (say, page 48). And you won’t have a second act that comes in too early at page 74 or too late at page 103.
A Few MoreThoughts on Math Every screenplay in progress is lled with walls that every screenwriter either smashes into head-on or is blindsided by. Some are made of iron, some of granite, but most are sand. Wet sand. Lots of wet sand. The rst one usually comes around page 20. This is the place where many a new (or even experienced) screenwriter is ready to throw in the towel. “I hate my idea,” is the most common excuse given. “I have a new idea that’s better,” is another justication I hear over and over.
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My response is always the same. “If you quit now you’ll hate your new idea on page 20 of that script and you’ll want to start another idea which you’ll hate when you come to page 20 on it, and you’ll spend weeks (or months) making false starts and winding up with 60 to 80 pages of abandoned scripts.” Unless a screenwriter has tackled a monumentally complicated idea that requires more experience, I never encourage starting something fresh. Breaking through, climbing over ver,, sneaking around, or digging diggi ng under the page 20 wall is a rite r ite of passage passage. Periodically, one hears the story about a screenwriter who churns out a high six-g six -gure ure script in eight days or three weeks or some maddeningly speedy time frame. But the fact is, 99 percent of screenplays aren’t written fast and I know enough screenwriters to back this up. You should expect about three wall wallss in your script. script. For For me, page 20 is the most common, then around page 50, and then around the end of Act II on page 82. And understand that there is great satisfaction in getting through them. Giving up and starting a new script won’t do much for your condence. And as a screenwriter you’ll need all the self-esteem and condence you can get.
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Strategy Every Screenplay You Start Is Like a New Relationship Screenwrit ing is like dating. Screenwriting da ting. You meet someone (you get an idea). Being with your new lover is so easy (the rst 15 pages almost write themselves). Things look incredibly promising for the rst four weeks (Act I is done and Act II is so well-thought-out you could write it in your sleep.) Then a realit rea lity y check hit hitss you in the face face.. You nd out your new soul mate has a nasty little cocaine addiction/gives you an STD/is married/is a pre-op transsexual/doesn’t really like children, dogs, cats, your friends, your hobbies. (The structure that seemed so right suddenly falls fall s apart/yo apart /your ur main character is boring/the dialogue is stilted/unfunny/ dumb and you have no third act and no ending and the most appealing character was killed off in the middle of Act II.) When your relationship/screenplay hits a wall you have two choices: end it, nd someone new, and try again (abandon it, nd a new idea, and start all over) or try to break down the wall by working through the problems. Unless you’re in love with the person, end it. (Unless you’re in love with the idea, abandon it.) Because even when you’re in love with someone (or a script), it’s hard enough to make it work.
Writing Exercise Write a two-page essay about the worst thing that ever happened to your family family.. A divorce divorce,, a death, violence, alcoholism, i.e., something bad. Then dramatize it into a 5- to 7-page screenplay screenpla y in which one character talk ta lkss about the effect of the bad thing on his/her life.
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CHAPTER 2
You Can’t Have a Plot Without Things Happening “ With With a tale, forsooth, he cometh unto you, with a tale that holdeth children play and old men from the chimney corner.” – Sir – Sir Philip Sidne Sidney y Drama is revelation. Your story s tory mu must st mov movee forward. Things Thin gs mus mustt happen. You can’t just have your characters talking about nothing. What they say and do must mu st further f urther the dramatic dra matic tension of the story. story. This is what plotting is. Just as we plan the events of a special evenin ev ening, g, we mus mustt “plan “plan” ” our screenplays. Many times you’ll nd yourself with a situation, but not a story. For example, a nun wants to leave the convent a few days before she’s to take her nal vows. Okay. By itself, that’s not particularly dramatic. It’s a situation. It becomes a story when we learn that the reason she wants to leave is because she’s been hiding out in the convent. Why? Because she committed a crime two years before and now she feels the coast coast is clear. clear. Or because because she’ she’s fal f allen len in i n love with a priest. pr iest. Or another nun. With any of these scenarios it becomes a story. Whether you’re writing an action/adventure that requires the proverbial thrill-a-minute or a gentle tale about
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two souls wounded by life who nd each other, you must keep the story mo moving. ving. Ther Theree must mu st be dramatic tension. You mus mustt have pivotal plot point points. s. They are are the key events that move the story forward and provide important information. Think in terms of cause and effect. This happens, then that happens, then this happens. Every few pages make sure something is happening happening.. When I read a screenplay I make notes on the pages where something pivotal happens. I’ll write out the words Key Plot Point or Key Information. If too many pages pass without something pivotal happening, your story has stopped moving forward. If you’ve written a batch of pages (say ve to ten) and nothing is happening (meaning the story isn’t moving forward and we aren’t learning anything important about the protagonist), this is problematic, even if your dialogue is brilliant bril liant and your your stage sta ge directions directions sheer poetr poetry y. Your protagonist protagonist must be talking tal king about and/or doing things that are organic to the story or character development. If all you’ve accomplished is to show us the minutiae of your protagonist’s morning ritual from the ring of the alarm clock, to how long she shampoos her hair, to how thoroughly she osses her teeth after breakfast, you’ve shown us (pardon my Zen) both too much and not enough. e nough. You wil wi l l lose los e us. If you want to spend time showing your main character preparing her breakfast, do so only if what she eats will make a statement about who she is. Whole-wheat toast without butter and instant coffee with milk doesn’t say much. But if you have her carefully trim the crust off the toast, then slice it into triangular-shaped pieces, then arrange them on a plate in the shape of a pentagram, then have her recite a witchlike chant in which she praises the God of Wheat Fields, then you’ve dramatized something important about her character. character.
STORYTELLING
Her breakfast ritual becomes a pivotal plot point. And if your story story has her meeting the man of her dreams dream s on her way to work, work, the way she meets meet s him becomes a pivotal pivotal plot point. And as a result of meeting him, her daily routine is changed. She can’t get him out of her mind. She tells a co-worker about the guy and the co-worker encourages her to try to meet him again the next morning. This is another pivotal plot point. The next morning when we see her wake up, maybe she takes more time choosing an outt, xing her makeup, combing her hair, all with the intention of bumping into the guy again, only this time the guy doesn’t show. Another pivotal plot point. She’s bummed out. But she still can’t get the guy out of her head. So from fr om this point on all of her dramatic actions revolve around her desire to see him again. It’s what she talks about. Now, she can talk about other things (her job, sick father, the brother she doesn’t get along with, her interests — what whatev ever) er) and through this dialogue we will wil l learn more about her, but her primary behavior must be about meeting this guy again. Once she meets him, you’re on to the next set of pivotal plot points revolving around whether or not he’ll be interested in her, and if they’ll have a relationship. Once this happens, then it’s just more... this happens, then that happens, then — you get the idea.
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Strategy Drama Requires a Character to Experience a Change of Fortune Ari stotle Aristo tle called it peripeteia and the Engli English sh spelling is peripety. They mean “a sudden and unexpected change of fortune or reverse rev erse of circumsta circum stances. nces.” ” It’s always compelling to watch a character undergo a change or experience that affects the way she goes about living her life. The beautiful, mean woman gets in a car accident and is horribly scarred. How will she deal with being unattractive and no longer popular? How will the pro-life activist react when she’s raped and nds herself pregnant with the child of a psychotic, psychotic, violent man with a genetic disorder? How does the high school pitching star with a hundred mile-an-hour fastball and a multi-million dollar dol lar of offer fer from f rom the t he New York Yankees handle ha ndle li life fe when he shatters his throwing arm on the eve of his signing? Think certainty to uncertainty. Condence to selfdoubt. Love to hate.
Writing Exercise No matter what the genre, genre, there there must mu st be an a n equally equal ly compelling protagonist. Make a list of your ten favorite movies; then, if they’re they’re not fresh f resh in yo your ur mind, watch them again a gain and a nd write wr ite down what the story is and what your main character wants. Look at how the protagonist and his primary want is introduced. Write down the obstacles before him. The best screenplays do a ne job of setting everything up early on so a reader or audience can sit back and wait to see how the main character will go about getting what he wants. Then look at your screenplay(s) and see where you went wrong.
