D I B J K Lady in Waiting: Waiting: Devotional Journal and Study Guide
by Debby Jones and Jackie Kendall Lady in Waiting: Meditations for the Heart
by Debby Jones and Jackie Kendall Te Young Lady in Waiting: Developing the Heart of a Princess
by Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones Lady in Waiting for Little Girls
by Jackie Kendall and Dede Kendall Lady in Waiting Student Edition
by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones Raising a Lady in Waiting: Parent’s Guide Te Right Guy for the Right Girl
by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones Te Mentoring Mom: 11 Ways to Model Christ for Your Child A Man Worth Worth Waiting Waiting For: For: How to to Avoid a Bozo Free Yourself to Love—Te Liberating Power of Forgiveness
© Copyright ����—Jackie Kendall All rights reserved. his book is protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America. his book may not be copied or reprinted for commercial gain or profit. he use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group study is permitted and encouraged. Permission will be granted upon request. Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version. Copyr Copyright ight © ���� by homas Nelson, Inc. Used by permis permission. sion. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INERNAIO IN ERNAIONAL NAL VERSION® V ERSION®,, Copyright © ����, ��� �, ����, ����, ���� Internationa Internationall Bible Societ Society. y. Used by permis permission sion of Zonder Zondervan. van. Al Alll rights reserved. Scripture Scriptu re quotations quotations marked AMP AM P are taken from the Amplified® Amplif ied® Bible, Bible, Copyright © ����, ����, ����, ����, ����, ���� by he Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked LB are taken from he Living Bible; yndale House, ����, © ���� by yndale House Publishers, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from he Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © ���� by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NL are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living ranslation, copyright ����, ����. Used by permission of yndale House Publishers., Wheaton, Illinois �����. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations quotatio ns marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMER AMERICAN ICAN SANDAR SANDARD D BIBLE®, Copyright © ����,����,����,����,����,����,����,����,����,���� by he Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All emphasis within Scripture quotations is the author’s own. Please note that Destiny Image’s publishing style capitalizes certain pronouns in Scripture that refer to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and may differ di ffer from some publishers’ styles. DESINY IMAGE® PUBLISHERS, INC. P.O. Box ���, Shippensburg, PA �����-���� “Promoting Inspired Lives.”
his book and al alll other Dest Destiny iny Image, Rev Revival ival Press, MercyPlace, Fresh Bread, Destiny Image Fiction, and reasure House books are available at Christian bookstores and distributors worldwide. For a U.S. bookstore nearest you, call �-���-���-����. For more information on foreign distributors, call ���-���-����. Reach us on the Internet: www.destinyimage.com. ISBN �� P: ���-�-����-����-� ISBN �� Ebook: ���-�-����-����-� For Worldwide Distribution, Printed in the U.S.A. � � � � � � � � / �� �� �� �� ��
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Note to Reader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � A Note from Jack ie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� How to Use Tis Journal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��
Week W eek One A Lady o f Reckle Recklessss Abandon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� � V���� S������ S������ � E���� O�� E���� T�� E���� T���� E���� F��� E���� F���
Lady of Reck less Abandon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� You Y ou Are Satisfied by Your Your AllAl l-Sufficien Sufficientt Savior . . . �� You Y ou Are Fulfilled Ful filled in the Lordship Lordship of Jesus . . . . . . . �� You Y ou Are Complete Complete in Christ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� Your Y our Alabaster Box Is Reserved fo forr Jesus . . . . . . . . �� You Y ou Are Worthy Worthy of Friends Friends Who W ho Summon Summon You Y ou to Reckless Abandon. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��
Week W eek Tw Twoo A Lady o f Diligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ���� V���� S������ S������ � E���� S�� E���� S���� E���� E����
E���� N��� E���� T��
Lady of Diligence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� You Y ou Can Make the Most of Your Your Singleness Singleness . . . . . �� You Y ou Are Not Being Denied!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� Abundant dant Life Life You Y ou Do Not Have to Put the Abun on Hold . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� Your Y our Singleness Singleness Is Actually Actual ly Enviable. Enviable. . . . . . . . . . . . �� You Y ou Have Incredible Incredible Outlets Outlets for Impacting Lives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� Week W eek Three A Lady o f Faith V���� S������ S������ � E���� E����� E���� T�����
E���� T������� E���� F�������
E���� F������
Lady of Faith. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� �� God Moves Beyond Your Logic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� God Is Your Solution for Every No-Hope Situation..........................�� God Give Givess Us Faith Faith to to Drown Drown Out Out Our Dou Doubt btss . . �� God Wants to Set You Up for Divine Encounters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� �� Godd Wan Go Wants ts You You to Rest Rest in His His Fai aithfu thfuln lnes ess. s. . . . . . ��
Week W eek Four A Lady o f Virtue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . � � V���� S������ S������ � E���� S������ E���� S�������� E���� E������� E���� N������� E���� T�����
Lady of Virtue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� �� Discover Your Unique Identity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� Virt rtuue Mak akees You Irresisti tibble to Boaz. . . . . . . . . . . �� Breaki Br eaking ng Ou Out of of the the “Bea “Beauutif tiful ul Bod Body” y” ra rapp . . . . . . �� Pursue the Fear of the Lord. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Who You You Date Is a Reflectio Reflectionn of Who W ho You Y ou Are . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� ��� �
Week W eek Fiv Fivee A Lady o f Devo Devotion tion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� V���� S������ S������ � E���� T�����-O��
E���� T�����-T��
E���� T�����-T���� E���� T�����-F���
E���� T�����-F���
Lady of Devotion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Devotion Pursues God for Herself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Devotion Dethrones Self and Yields to the Holy Spirit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady Lady of Devo Devoti tioon Know Knowss God God Inti Intima mate tely ly.. . . . . ��� A Lady of Devotion Responds to God’s Devotion to Her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Devotion Is an Anna in God ’s Presence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ���
Week W eek Six A Lady o f Purity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� V���� S������ S������ � E���� T�����-S�� E���� T�����-S���� E���� T�����-E���� E���� T�����-N���
E���� T�����
Lady of Purity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Purity Is a Most Prize zedd Possession . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Purity Is Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Purity Is Protection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Purity Is a Shield from Condemnation, Fear, and Doubt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Purity Gives Relationships the Right Foundation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ���
Week W eek Sevevenen A Lady o f Security . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� V���� S������ S������ � E���� T�����-O�� E���� T�����-T��
E���� T�����-T����
E���� T�����-F���
E���� T�����-F���
Lady of Security . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A La Lady dy of Se Secu curi rity ty Is Not on a Man anhhun unt. t. . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Security Is Filled Up and Satisfied by Her Heavenly Father. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Security Is Settled in the ruth Tat God Is Actually Good . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Security Is Confident in Her Relationship with Jesus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Security Surrenders to God’s Plan withoutt rying to Help Him Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� withou
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Week W eek Eight A Lady o f Conten Contentment tment V���� S������ S������ � E���� T�����-S��
E���� T�����-S����
E���� T�����-E���� E���� T�����-N��� E���� F����
Lady of Contentment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Contentment Focuses on What She Has, Not What She Lacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Contentment Does Not See Waiting W aiting as a Bad Ting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Co Conntentm tmeent Is Ful ulll of Joy. . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady Lady of of Con Conte tent ntme mennt Avo Avoid idss the the Ditc Ditche hes. s. . . . . ��� A Lady of Contentment Is and Has a Spiritual Monitor..................................���
Week W eek Nine A Lady o f Conviction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� V���� S������ S������ � E���� F����-O��
E���� F����-T��
E���� F����-T����
E���� F����-F���
E���� F����-F���
Lady of Conviction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Conviction Guards Her Choices Carefully . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Conviction Rejects the Lie Tat She is “Damaged Goods” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Conviction Tinks Higher Tan the Wor W orld. ld. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Conviction Says No and Calls Others Up Higher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� A Lady of Conviction Does Not Settle for Anyone Less Tan a Boaz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ���
Week W eek Ten Lady o f Patience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ����� V���� S������ S������ �� E���� F����-S�� E���� F����-S����
E���� F����-E����
E���� F����-N��� E���� F����
Lady of Patience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� � �� A Lad Ladyy of of Pa Pati tien ence ce Re Rejjec ects ts th thee Fea Fearr r rap. . . . . . . �� ���� A Lady of Patience Is Being Set Up for God ’s Best . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . �� � �� A Lady of Patience Protects Herself from the Life Li fe--Al Alte teri ring ng Co Cons nseq equuen ence cess of of Impa Impati tien ence ce . . . . . . �� ���� A Lady Lady of of Pati Patien ence ce Is Is Not Not Idle, Idle, but but Obedi Obedien entt . . . ��� A Lady Lady of of Pati Patien ence ce Is Is Satis Satisfie fiedd in Her Her Savi Savior. or. . . . ��� Answer Key . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ��� Endnotes .................................���
N��� �� R�����
Even though the Lady in Waiting study guide is designed for use with the Lady in Waiting DVD study , you can go through the daily journal entries, fill out the questions and interact with the material without going through the video curriculum.
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Hey girls (You are all God’s girls , no matter how old!)— hese next ten weeks are going to be so much more than a Bibl Biblee study. If you didn’t know that, well here you go. My heart burns for you to have more than good information. oo many of us have brains filled with good information, but that information never seems to make it down into our hearts and, in turn, change our lives. When you see Lady in Waiting , you might immediately think— “Okay, great. A book on purity. Been there, heard that message. What’s new?” In the pages to come we are going to get real, open, and honest really quickly. I don’t have time for games or candy-coating the issues. Wee cannot afford to dance around issues when a generatio W generationn is exper experiiencing a non-stop onslaught of deceptive messages. I believe one of the goals of this study is to produce purity in your life, but it really focuses on identity . It’s called Lady in Waiting , not Lady Pursuing Purity . Why? In our good-intentioned desires to help people pursue a pure lifestyle (which is absolutely essential), we have neglected the foundations. We point our fingers religiously and say “Do this!” or “Don’t do that.” he problem is not that we are warning about wrong things, but we are not providing our girls with the alternative. A woman pursues purity when she recogni recognizes zes the precious treasure that purity was designed to guard and protect.
Listen, the world is after your identity. It wants to define who you are. Culture and media have a clear agenda that is after your mind, your heart, your affections, your money money,, and yes, ultimately your soul. he one pull pulling ing the strings in each of these areas, your enem enemyy, is very intentional about doing whatever he can to distract you from your true 11
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identity so that you start taking the bait thrown at you every day. In this study, we are going to discover who you are in Christ, and when you know k now who you are, a re, I am convinced that th at anything and anyone who who is not proactively proactively calling forth your destiny, your purpose, and your Goddesigned identity will not be worth your time. here is a world waiting for you out there—not to conform conform to it, but to transform it. he way you are going to become one who transforms is by first recognizing who you are, what you have been called to, and in turn, what it looks like to live out your purpose. Here is your challenge: For the next �� weeks (�� days), I would like you to take �� to �� minutes per day and invest in this experience. I don’t have time to give you some lame questions or silly anecdotes. his journal is me sharing God God’’s Word Word and a nd heart hear t with w ith you, and then t hen you, in turn, sharing your heart with Him. Result? When you open your heart to the Redeemer of your heart, He will come and do a most profound and powerful work. I have great expectations for what our great God is going to do in your life! J
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D A AII LY E NTRIES
hese are not devotionals; they are clear words based on Scripture designed to ground you in your God-defined identity. Remember, purity is the result of living in alignment with your identity. If you don’t know who you are and how precious you are to the Father, purity sounds like a burden. When you know who you are, purity is the only way that makes sense to keep you from living beneath your identity as the t he King’ Ki ng’ss daughter. daughter. his h is is the journey jour ney we are going on together over the next fifty days. I’m so excited! D A AII LY A FFIRMATION F FIRMATION
his is a statem statement ent designed for you to thin think, k, speak, ref reflect lect upon, and/or pray. XE E RC RCII SE S J OURNAL E X
his is your opportun opportunity ity to interact with the daily entry. I don’ don’tt want you to just get more informatio in formation; n; I real really ly want you to apply these t hese principles to your life and become solid in your identity as God’s precious one.
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Weee k One We A L��� �� R������� A������
Reckless abandon is a level of surrender sur render that unlocks the greatest treasures t reasures God has in store for f or His kids. In fact, saying yes yes to Jesus has preceded preceded every miracle I have ever experienced experienced during the past forty five years as His His follower. follower. —J K “It comes the very ver y moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming coming in out of the wind.” —C.S. L¹
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Video Session �
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Tis is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls” (J 6:16 NIV).
1.
A lady of reckless abandon says a lifelong a.
Our our
reckless
abando ab andonn .
positionss position
to Jesus. us
to
fulfill fulf ill
b. Our reck less abandon responds to the “ ” of God. Mary, Mar y, the Mother of Jesu Jesuss
She is a perfect example exa mple of of reckless reck less abandon because she said to the call of God on her life. Mar y said, “I am the Lord Mary Lord’s’s ser servant, vant, and I am willing to do whatever he wants” (Luke 1:38 LB).
2.
A lady of reckless abandon lays her at Jesus’ feet. a.
Your alabaster jar contains your 17
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3.
A lady of reckless abandon is Christ.
in
4.
A lady of reckless abandon understands that she becomes a woman when she she becomes who who wants her to be.
5.
A lady of reckless abandon says yes, even when it’ it’ss and shapes the rest of her life. li fe.
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Enn t r y On E One e Y�� A�� S�������� �� Y��� A��-S��������� S�����
“He’s the only one qualified to be an all sufficient Savior.” —S.M. L²
Do you feel like a lady in waiting ? Let’s be real for a minute. Are your friends/roommates dating while you are at home alone? Are you entering that “wonderful season” where everyone on the planet seems to be getting engaged—except for you? Do you feel like you are missing out on something? Are you dissatisfied? Consider this for a moment: A woman is not born a woman. Nor does she become one when she marries a man, bears a child c hild and does their t heir dirt d irtyy linen, not even when she joins a women’s liberation movement. A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be.³ Nothing that this world offers, good or bad, was designed to satisfy you. It absolutely cannot. ca nnot. Many tr tryy to take the world up on its shallow offers. he results are always the same—dissatisfaction with sorrow. Not only does the world prove to be the opposite of what it claimed to be, but we look back with regret over the fact that we invested our previous 19
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time, energy, love, and even parts of our hearts into something that will only let us down. his includes good things like relationships, and yes, even a husband. Your Y our Fa Father ther in Heaven is the only One capable of satisfyi satisfying ng the longing in your spirit. Why? He actually put it there to begin with. God created you with a void that only He could fill. Scripture reveals these truths about God: You open your you r hand and satisfy satisf y the desires of every living thing thing (Psalms 145:16 NIV) . In Your presence p resence is fullness of joy; at Your right r ight hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalms 16:11).
What does He satisfy you with? Something that no human being could ever give you. he Lord spoke to the prophet Jeremiah saying, “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you” (Jer. ��:�). As I mentioned at the beginning, this ten week journey is so much more than a Bible study. I desire you to encounter the everlasting love of Father God in a fresh, powerful, life-changing way. God’s love ruins you for anything anyth ing or anyone who does not love and cherish you in like manner manner.. So here is my invitation to you: Don’t settle for anything less than God’s everlasting, unchanging, and unconditional love! Jesus was never meant to simply be words on a page, a church service, or a Bible study. hese are wonderful wonderfu l outlets, for sure, but above all, all , your Savior Sav ior is a Living Person who burns with love for you. he question is: How far wil willl you go with Him? his his used to be a popular question concerning physical touch with dating: “How far did you get ?” ?” here are healthy boundaries in relationships to guard your heart. However, with pursuing an experience of God’s love, there are no boundaries. he limits are off! You are as close to God as you want to be. Let this be an invitation that thrills you beyond belief. You don’t have time to be consumed with what everyone else is doing and who 20
You A re Sa Sati tisf sf ie ied d by Your A l l-S l-Suf uf f ic icien ientt Sa Savv ior
they are dating. Let your heart burn because you have “tasted and seen” that the Lord is good. You have been ruined for anything less than your all sufficient Savior! AII LY A FFIRMATION F FIRMATION D A I am fully f ully satisf ied in Christ Ch rist and Chr Christ ist alone! a lone! He loves lo ves me with an everlasting love, and I refuse to settle for anything or anyone who offers less than what has been modeled by my Savior.
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1.
ake some time to create a list of things that the “world” (m (media, edia, culture, cultu re, friends) friends) claims cla ims are satisfying. satisf ying. Write Write these items down, down, and a nd then beside them, consider the consequences. consequences. hink hi nk about where a lifelong pursuit of these things will steer the course of your life.
2.
Open the Bibl Bible. e. urn to to 1 Corinthians 13 13 and write down how God, Your Your Father Father and Savior Sav ior,, will wi ll satisfy satisf y you with His love.
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Why is it important for you not to to settle for anything less than God’’s love being poured into your life? God l ife?
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Enn t r y T wo E Y�� A�� F�������� �� ��� L������� �� J����
“Te saddest thing one meets is the nominal Christian.” —A C C⁴ ⁴
I know this topic may not sound completely thrilling off the bat—the Lordship of Jesus Christ . Hang in there with me, though. I believe that after today, today, you are going to receive some fresh insight on on the fulfi fu lfillment llment and joy that yielding to His lordship brings in your life. Let’s start by getting get ting this th is one out in the open: God’ God ’s commandments commandments are not burdensome burdensome (see � John �:�). When we get this, our understanding of His lordship changes radically. It is so important that you recognize that submitting every area of your life to Jesus—this Jesus—th is includes i ncludes boys, dating, marr marriage—is iage—is for your best . God’s commandments are not burdensome, because Jesus is not out to restrain you from enjoying life. In fact, the reason He has commandments is because He desires you to maximize the life you have been given. Religion presents Jesus as the great restrainer of fun or the cosmic killjoy. his is so far from the ruth. His Lordship protects you. When we measure the decisions of our lives beside God’ God ’s ruth, God God’’s Word, and God’s standards, we are not saying “No” to the “awesome things of the world” so we can give God a hesitant “Yes.” We are saying “No” to 23
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things that can steal, kill, and destroy us so that we can step into the abundant life Jesus died to give us (see John ��:��). his is your inheritance as a daughter of the King! he great g reat problem problem is when we try t ry to do life l ife with w ith Jesus without Him Him being our Lord. It does not work. his creates “nominal” “nominal ” Christians. We read about this kind of “believer” in Revelation and they are described as “lukewarm” (see Rev. �:��). A token, stale, complacent relationship with Jesus does not change God’s love toward you. He loves you hot, cold, whatever state you are in. he problem is, your allegiance determines your experience. If your allegiance is to the world and everything it promises, than you will experience it and, ultimately, come up dissatisfied. Allegiance to King Jesus opens the door to exper experiencing iencing the depths and a nd heights of His love for you. It’s in this place of His love love that you discover your identity and purpose. Remember, His love never changes toward you—what changes is our experience of that wondrous love. So, what’s the simplest way to demonstrating Jesus’ lordship over your life? Shout yes to to Him! Making Jesus your lord is the first step to walking wal king in a lifest lifestyle yle of obedience that yields ext extraordinar raordinaryy miracles. hinkk of Mary hin Mar y, the teenaged mother mother of Jesus. Her “Yes” “Yes” to God, despite her inability to fully grasp what was happening to her, ultimately made it possible for the world to experience salvation. Your unqualified “Yes” to this good and faithful God produces significant impact, both in your life and even in your world. Remember, Jesus’ lordship does not restrain you from anyth anything, ing, but instead, it preserves you for everything He has prepared for your life. AII LY A FFIRMATION F FIRMATION D A Jesus is not only my Savior Savior;; He is also my Lord. His commandments are not a burden. He is not out to restrain me and prevent me from enjoying my life. Instead, He is preserving me for the incredible future and blessings blessings He has prepared for me. He has my
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You Y ou A re Fu Full f i l le ledd in th thee Lo Lord rdsh ship ip of Je Jesu suss
unqualified “Yes” and complete abandon because He is good, and because He is worthy!
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1.
Wh at have you thought of the topic of Jesus’ lordship in the past? What Have you ever though t houghtt it was a “restraint,” preventing preventing you from en joying your life? li fe?
2.
How is your view of Jesus’ lordship changi changing ng as you go through this study?
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Consider for a mom moment ent how maki making ng Jesus your Lord preserves preserves you for the incredible plans and purposes that God has prepared for your life. How does keeping God’s commandmen commandments ts and followi following ng Jesus’ instructions actually actua lly protect you? you?
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Enn t r y Th r e e E Y�� A�� C������� �� C�����
“Marriage teaches us that even the most intimate human companionship cannot satisfy the deepest places of the heart. Our hearts are lonely ’til they rest in Him.” —E E⁵
In ����, there was a popular movie released starring om Cruise and Renée Zellweger called Jerry Maguire . Even though aspects of the film are dated and for some of you reading, the movie is completely new, I am amazed at how one statement has survived the test of time. In a passionate moment where Jerry (om Cruise) is confessing his love, he tells the girl, “You complete me.” Wrong! Lie, lie, double lie. Dr. Les Parrot, responding to Jerry Maguire , noted that, “If you believe someo someone ne else can complete you, you are setting yourself up for serious heartache.”⁶ Human beings do not and cannot complete one another—only God satisfies the void. he psalmist confirms this, writing that “deep calls unto deep” (Ps. ��:�). What does this mean? Lisa Bevere explains, “You long for a deeper love, intimacy, and communion than a man can bring to you.”⁷ A guy is simply not “deep” enough. Nothing is. A career, an education, being a mom, having the “perfect” body—nothing is deep enough to satisfy what is calling out in in your spirit. I love how that verse continues. We read, 27
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Deep calls to deep in the roar of your you r waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me (Psalms 42:7 NIV).
he deep of your spirit spir it calls cal ls out for the deep of God! He is the only One truly deep enough to fill your deep void and complete you. Your Y our heart was never meant to be comp completed leted by a man, but rather rather,, eternity. We obsess about relationships, dating, and ultimately marriage because, “God and his Son don’t have the place in our hearts that they should have.”⁸ Our hearts were shaped to be filled with and consumed by Him alone! God is eternal, and according to the Bible, God placed eternity inside of your heart (see Eccles. �:��). he only conclusion is that God, the Eternal One, is the only One capable of satisfying the cry for eternity that He has placed inside of your heart! In fact, Jesus Himself defines eternal life (not just getting to heaven, but the kind of life that completes you) as beginning with knowing God: “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John ��:�). If there is a cry for eternity in
your heart, I guarantee g uarantee you no natura naturall thing wi willll ever complete you. Please know that the absence of a husband or boyfriend or fiancé does not mean you are lacking completion. You do not complete a man, nor does he complete you. Rather, you complement him and likewise he complements you. Man and woman were put in the Garden of Eden to have dominion—together, one complementing the other. When two t wo incomplete incomplete people look to each other for completion, completion, you end up with an incomplete marriage. It is a lifelong struggle of two people peop le trying to fill fil l two voids that can never be be filled by another human being—or anything else, for that matter. If as a single woman you enter into something—be it pursuit of a career or a marriage—being incomplete and hoping that this thing or or person will bring you completion, you willll end up wi up disillusioned and dissatisf dissatisfied. ied. hese are not bad things. hey are wonderful, actually. hey just do not possess the ability to complete you. Only Christ does. Incom Incomplete pleteness ness is not the result of being single, but it is the byproduct of not being full of Jesus. 28
You A re Co Compl mplet etee in Ch Chrr is istt
AII LY A FFIRMATION F FIRMATION D A I am complete in Chri Christ st alone. I do not look to another person or a career or anything else in the world to fill the void in my spirit. Only God can truly satisfy it because He put it there to begin with. Father, You alone complete me. XE E RC RCII SE S J OURNAL E X
1.
Read Psalm 42: 42:77 and Eccle Ecclesiastes siastes 3: 3:11 11.. a.
How is God the only One able to f ililll the “deep” cr cryy of your spirit?
b.
What happens when you look to either a person or thing to try and fill this deep longing of your spirit?
c.
What does it mean for eternity to be inside of your heart? How does this impact the way you live and how you care for your your heart?
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2.
How is it dangerous to believe that another person can actua actually lly complete you? you?
3.
What is the difference between comp completing leting and comp compleme lementing? nting?
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Enn t r y F o u r E Y��� A�������� B�� I� R������� ��� J����
“Something magnificent happens when human beings recognize the gold of the pleasure of this romance and choose it instead of the sawdust of this world.” —M B⁹
I know the first three days were pretty “in your face.” Tat was very intentional. Rest assured, I am not trying to discourage you from one day enjoying the biblical covenant of marriage. I could not be happier with the man God had waiting wa iting for me! Likewise, Likew ise, I want you to prepare yourself for the one God has waiting for you. Tere are so many boys and men out there who are completely unworthy of you, of your destiny, of your identity, and of the plans and purposes of God on your life. Tey are beneath that. It doesn’t mean that God does not love them. He does. Te problem problem is they are not pursuing pursu ing God, and theref t herefore ore are not moving in the same direction you are. It is sickening what a man will do to get a woman to surrender the most precious, valuable areas of her life to him. And for what? His selfish, physical pleasure. he man worthy of you is the man who cherishes you enough to prote protect ct your alabaster box . One day, when Jesus was eating in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came in and broke an alabaster box and poured the valuable 31
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ointment on Jesus’ head (see Mark ��:�-�). he passage in Luke � that refers to this event harshly describes the woman as “a woman in the city who was a sinner” (Luke �:��). his woman found Jesus worthy of such sacrifice and honor. He was worthy of her everything . In fact, Jesus memorialized her gesture in Matthew ��:�� (see also Mark ��:�). his gesture had such meaning, for not only did she anoint Jesus for burial, she also gave her all a ll to a heavenly Bridegroom. Br idegroom. Yes, Yes, she was a sinner sin ner (but who isn’ isn’t, t, according to Romans �:��? �:��?), ), but this sinner had dreams and wisely broke her alabaster box in the presence of the only One who can ca n make a woman’s dreams come true. What is your alabaster box? Dreams? Desires? Ambitio Ambitions? ns? Goals? he only One capable of of satisfying satisfyi ng these and bringing bring ing them to pass, and cherishing them as they deserve to be, is Jesus. When brought before Him, the offering of your dreams is a sweet fragrance of worship. You present value before Jesus because of His incomparable incomparable value compared to the rubble of the world. When the t he time comes and a man hono honors rs your “alabaster box” with the love of Christ, then you can start talking. If you have already broken your box at the feet of some boy, man, or relationship that promised big, but ultimately let you down, King Jesus is your restorer. He redeems broken dreams and smashed hopes just as easily as anything else. We simply need to come before Him, not afraid or timid, but boldly. boldly. here is no condemnation condemnation in His Presence. Look at the “sinful “sinfu l woman” in Luke �. �. She still stil l came before Jesus and poured out her expensive, fragrant oil upon Him. She did not cower in fear of condemnation, interestingly enough. hough she bowed low before Him, washing His feet, she nevertheless nevert heless entered His Presence and He did not turn her away. he same Jesus will never turn turn you away. Regardless of what you broke, gave away away,, wasted—whatever wasted—whatever—your —your Savior is the One who makes all things new (see � Cor. �:��, Rev. ��:�).
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Your A la laba bast ster er Bo Boxx Is Re Rese serr ve vedd for Je Jesu suss
AII LY A FFIRMATION F FIRMATION D A I will not waste my dreams, my hopes, hope s, and my visions visio ns on someone som eone who has no regard for my value. Jesus is the only One worthy of my everything. I see Him as valuable and, in turn, deserving of everything valuable in my life. I thank You Jesus that You restore everything that has been broken and You make all things new.
J OURNAL E X XE E RC RCII SE S
1.
What is your alabaster alabaster box?
2.
Why is it so important that you prote protect ct every everything thing valuable in your life (your (you r dreams, your purity, pur ity, your destiny, destiny, your identity, etc.) etc.) from those who would treat such things th ings as commo common? n?
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RAYER F F OR R ESTORATION E STORATION P RAYER
ake this time to pray and ask the Holy Spirit ake Spir it to reveal rev eal anyt anything hing in your life (past or present present)) that t hat you have given g iven away to someone else that you should not have . NOE: his is not designed to make you feel bad or guilty ; instead, I want you to bring these things befor beforee the Lord Jesus and receive the healing and restoration that comes from His Presence. Remember, He makes all things things new. If any thoughts of condemnation, guilt, shame, or unworthiness come into your mind, immediately address them, reject them, and verbally give them to Jesus. He wants you to experience a new measure of freedom and a a fresh vision of your value to Him. Finally, ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern and recognize any person or opportunity that would disregard your value—and avoid these things at all costs, committing to wholeheartedly following Jesus and offering your complete devotion to Him.
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A���� J����� K������
Jack ie is ava Jackie availilable able for spea speakk ing enga engagements. gements. For more information, call or write: Jackie Jack ie Kenda Kendall ll
PO Box ������ West W est Palm Beach Beach,, FL �� �����-� ���-���� ��� Phone: �.���.���.���� Email: jackie@jackie
[email protected] kendall.com Website: W ebsite: w w w.jack .jackiekenda iekendallll.com .com Help for Finding God’s Best in a Mate How to Avoid a Bozo —Jackie Kendall
Why are so many Chr Christi istians ans mak making ing such poor choices in lilifefemates? Do you want to find God’s best—Mr. Right? Learn from this video vid eo the di difference fferencess bet between ween a man wort worthh wa waiting iting for and a Boz Bozo. o. Discover how to avoid the counterfeit and find the real thing!
