The Art of Self Spanking Jessica Burns With John Summers
The Art of Self Spanking © Sensual Planet Limited 2012
This publication is released under the Creative Commons Attri bution, Non Commercial, Share Alike License, Version 4.0 or any later version: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/ by-nc-sa/4.0/. Please note that much of this publication is based on personal experi experienc ence e and anecdota anecdotall eviden evidence. ce. Althoug Although h the author and publisher have made every reasonable attempt to achieve accuracy of the contents, they assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. You should use the information contained herein according to your discretion and at your own risk. This work is released with the express understanding that the publisher and the author are not engaged in providing professional counselling, psycho psycholog logica ical, l, psychi psychiatr atric, ic, or medica medicall advice advice.. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every situation. Should assistance in those areas be required, the advice of a competent professional person should be sought. Readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. The publisher and the author specifically disclaim all warwar ranties, including without limitation warranties of fitness for a partic particular ular purpose purpose.. No warranty warranty may be extended extended by sales sales or promotional material. To the support that was silent and strong: THANK YOU. To the love that was loud and proud: THANK YOU. John & Jessica
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Contents Introduction
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What Wh at Is Sel Selff Span Spanki king ng and and Why Why Do Do We We Do It? It? 5
1 Int Intro roduc ducing ing Sel Selff Spank Spanking ing
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2 Pa Pain in As Pl Plea easu sure re
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3 Fin Findin ding g the sourc source e of the spank spanking ing demo demon n
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II Se Self lf Sp Span anki king ng In Pr Prac actic tice e
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4 Safety
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5 Sel Selff span spankin king g techn techniqu iques es
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6 Im Impl plem emen ents ts
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7 Enh Enhanc ancing ing the exp experi erienc ence e
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IIII II
Life Li fe As a Spa Spank nkop ophi hile le
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8 Li Livi ving ng in the the univer universe se as a self self spank spanker er
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9 Ste Steppi pping ng back back from from the spank spanking ing worl world d
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A Possible Fantasy Scenarios
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Introduction “There’s no sore ass like your own sore ass.” —Irish Proverb1 We We spank ourselves. Actually, that’s not quite right and we certainly don’t want to mislead you with our first few words. This is a co-inspired book. So, when I say we spank ourselves, what we mean is that I (Jessica) spank myself and John spanks himself. We We have neither seen nor touched each other’s bottoms, and quite frankly we suppose we never will. The story of how we came together to work together on a project of such an inherently private nature is one that we will not relate in detail. We could of course try to convince you that we stumbled across each other whilst frantically frantically bashing our own butts. Perhaps we were both in corner hotel rooms, with big glass windows overlooking the other’s room. With the curtains kept kept open—f open—for or added added punish punishmen ment—e t—each ach saw the other other lying lying across pillows in the centre of the bed, raising their respective implement and bringing it swiftly down on their unprotected bottom. Astonished by this discovery of mutual pleasure, we talked for hours, had a session of extremely wild sex, then gave each other the thrashing of our lives. Alas, as is often the case, the truth is much more mundane and, inevitably, involved the internet as our key tool of communication. So, why did we decide to write this book? Well, we could see that self spanking was increasingly prevalent on the internet, yet it did not appear to be featured in the sex guide literature. We We wanted to fill that gap. Between us we had decades of self spanking experiences. On top of that I had a love of writing and (I 1 See
http://www.gaelicmatters.com/f http://www.gael icmatters.com/funny-irish-sayin unny-irish-sayings.html gs.html..
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assumed) the academic background to enable me to research the topic from all angles. Oh, and did we mention that self spanking gets us off, tickles tickles our boats, and frolics frolics our fancies? fancies? John thinks thinks that I made that last phrase up and he is quite right. Oh dear, I suppose I shall have to give myself a few extra strokes tonight. Self spanking is not for everyone. However, we feel self spanking offers a unique and fulfilling experience that is free, accessible, fully consensual, and mobile (it can be done just about anywhere). We’re We’re not saying it is better than sex, or that it is a replacement for relationships. In fact both of us have had caring and successful relationships, and John still treads that path. We have also both spanked and been spanked by others, yet we have never lost the thrill of self spanking. It remains, at least in our view, a wonderful way of achieving heightened heightened self-pleasure. It is about pain, yes, but it is also about desire, a high, a mental buzz; it is about imagination and being able to respond to one’s innermost fantasies. We can’t lay this all on a platter for you, but we hope to share our passion for self spanking and help you to achieve that sexy red bottom feeling. Who is this book for? We think it will most appeal to those who, like ourselves, have long harboured a sexual interest in spanking. It is a prejudice on our part, but we have always found spankophiles (spankos) to be—in general—intelligent, open and fair fair minded minded.. There There are spankos spankos of every every race, every every sex, every every physical physical characteristic characteristic and every sexuality. sexuality. However However,, we don’t believe that the world is split between those who “get” spanking and those who don’t, and others may also like to try the experience. That said, an open mind is called for. If you tend to think that spanking is perverted and unnatural, you’re probably not the kind of person who is going to respond well to this book. We We should make it clear that this book is for consenting adults only. only. We were all teens teens once once and—su and—surpr rprise ise,, surpris surprise— e— had strange sexual thoughts then too, but self spanking is an activity for those over 18 years and for for those with the maturity and sense to be able to appreciate and engage with the practice on a safe and pleasurable level. We We should also be clear that we do not support the physical chastisement of children or non-consensual violence in any form. In fact there are many reasons why hitting another person as a real-world punishment is not appropriate. However, after you
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have read this book, we hope you will agree that spanking, especially on the buttocks, is an activity so interlaced with a person’s sexuality that it is not a desirable method of child-rearing. The sexual practice of spanking, whether undertaken by you or given by or received from others, is primarily primarily about fantasy. If you can’t distinguish between adult sexual fantasies and real-life abuse, you’re probably not ready for the remainder of this book. For the rest re st of of us, it is is time time to move move on. on. . . . We’ve We’ve split the book into three distinct parts. Part Part I is about discover discovery: y: it is the “why” section section of the book. book. We explore why we self spank, and, indeed, why spanking turns us on at all. This was the easiest section for both of us to complete, primarily because the other parts induced so many fantasies that our blood boiled with lust whilst we sought to concentrate on writing. Part Part II is the “how “how to” to” sect sectio ion n of the book book.. Thes These e chap chapte ters rs include important safety advice as well as key pointers on self spanking techniques, and comprehensive advice on implements for the task. We also suggest how you can add more than a little extra spice to your spanking sessions. Part Part III is the “sel “selff-he help lp”” sect sectio ion n of the the book book.. That That term term is potentially patronising, we know, yet the words are forged from decades of handling our spanking demons. These chapters focus primarily on how to survive as a self spanker in this complex, image obsessed, obsessed, and disingenuously disingenuously “open” world of ours. We have, sadly but determinedly, also included a chapter to offer advice in the event that you wish to step back from the world of spanking. For our own pleasure, and hopefully for yours, we’ve wrapped up the book by adding an appendix of “scenarios” that you might li like ke to thin think k abou about. t. This This was was by far far our our favo favour urit ite e sect sectio ion n to write! Finally, as we loathe people just uplifting other people’s hard work—a not uncommon scenario on the internet—we have natu natural rally ly ende ended d with with a list list of refe referen rence ces s to ackn acknow owle ledg dge e key key sources. A quick word here about the use of the phrase “self spanking” in this book. book. “Sel “Self” f” as a pr prefi efix x is almost almost always always hyphen hyphenat ated ed (e.g. (e.g. as “self“self-hel help” p” earlie earlier). r). Howeve Howeverr, we have have rarely rarely seen seen “self “self spanking” hyphenated, and the convention appears to be to treat this this as two two dist distin inct ct words words.. Alth Althou ough gh the the hyph hyphen en is argu arguab ably ly
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dropped most times out of sheer erotic mania, we have followed this tradition and not joined the two words with a hyphen. (Note from from John John:: if you you find find this this aggr aggrav avat atin ing, g, you’ you’ll ll have have to spank spank Jessica, as she is the de-hyphenator here.) We We do hope you enjoy reading this book and, as importantly, importantly, that you also end up with a nice red stinging bottom that makes you feel alive and wondrous.
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Part I
What Is Self Spanking and Why Do We Do It?
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Chapter 1
Introducing Self Spanking What is self spanking? It is, quite simply, a practice whereby a person spanks themselves on the buttocks to induce sensation. We We won’t say pain at this stage as that isn’t always correct. We’re not going to include a dictionary definition of spanking here. If you’re anything like us, then by your early teenage years you had already looked up “spanking”, “chastisement”, “walloping”, “thrashing”, “caning”, “whipping”—or any similar terms—in countless dictionar dictionaries. ies. Suffice to say we take a fairly fairly broad definition definition of self spanking that effectively means the striking of one’s buttocks or upper thighs with pretty much anything to hand, including the, err, hand. We We recognise that some people are into hitting other areas of the body. It would be a little little hypocri hypocritic tical, al, as well well as hugely hugely condescending, for us to adopt an overly critical stance on those prac pr acti tice ces. s. That That said said,, we shou should ld make make it clea clearr that that we don’ don’t t condon condone e or support support the hitting hitting of the genital genital areas. areas. In fact, we like our genitals very much indeed and the thought of damaging them them does does not fit well with us. (For (For full full disclo disclosure sure I will will admit admit to some very gentle pussy slapping, but John appears to treat his personal member like a very valuable and fragile item from antiquity.) As you will see in subsequent chapters, we don’t have the same anxious feelings at all about our bottoms. We We wanted to help us (and you) to understand why we underunder 6
take this practice of baring and bruising our own bottoms. John in particular has no tolerance for illness, disease or “real life” pain in any shape or form. Although I am not quite as extreme in my desire for uninterrupted pure health and well-being, I share John’s distaste for my body “playing up”. So why would we voluntari untarily ly try to spank spank ourselv ourselves? es? This This is a practi practice ce suppos supposedl edly y related to pain and punishment? We We should begin by assuring ourselves that we are asking the “why” question for the right reasons. Review any pornographic website and you will see people getting off on spreading semen over a girlfriend’s face as she lies kneeling before her man; you will see scratching and biting; you will see costume sex, anal sex, oral sex, foot play and so on. (We really could go on and on here.) These are all features of non-procreative sex play. Why should we be so questioning of our spanking desires, when the world is a heterogeneous feast of rampant sexualities? As the American sex therapist, Dr Margaret Nichols, suggests (regarding why people undert undertake ake spanki spanking ng practi practices ces in genera general), l), “the “the questi question on itself itself 1 is a subtle way of pathologizing behavior”. We We don’t want to encourage a view that self spanking is a practice that needs clinical justification. Be that as it may, we have found over the years that intelligent people are inquisitive, often self-reflective in their nature, and wish to understand themselves that little bit better each day. We cannot promise true enlightenment, enlightenment, but we can help to document some of the factors at play. Before we delve deeper, let’s dispel some potential misconceptions.
Self-flagellation Self spanking is not a form of self-flagellation. Flagellation is the whipping of the skin, typically on the back and often drawing blood, as a bodily penance to show remorse for sin. There are accounts of medieval women who would flagellate themselves in an effor effortt to becom become e sain saintl tly. y. Rudo Rudolp lph h Bell Bell’s ’s Holy Anorexia describes a 16 year old Catherine Benincasa who would whip 1 Margaret
Nichols, “Couples and Kinky Sexuality: The Need for a New TheraExploring g Gender Gender peutic Approach”, in A. Lev and J. Malpas, eds., At the Edge: Explorin and Sexuality in Couples and Families (Washington, DC : American Family Therapy Academy), pp. 25–33.
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herself three times a day with an iron chain until blood covered her from shoulders to feet .2 Any readers familiar with other aspects of Catherine’s life will hardly consider this to have been— at least on the face of it—a sexual activity. Nonetheless, we would argue that some “self flaggelants” have been engaged in a practice more more akin akin to self self span spanki king ng.. Inde Indeed ed,, in the the earl early y eigh eighte teen enth th century a doctor of theology at the Sorbonne in Paris voiced his his conc concern erns s about about the paga pagan n orig origin ins s of flogg floggin ing, g, its its lack lack of preced precedent ent in the bible, bible, and especi especiall ally y its abilit ability y to stimul stimulate ate unchaste feelings in the body.3 That is by no means to say that such practices were, or continue to be, predominantly of a sexual nature but the suspicion of eroticism was clearly evident. It has been acknowledged for some time that “libido sexualis” can “be induced by stimulation (castigation, whipping, flagellation) of the gluteal region”.4 We We will return to the tantalising connection between pain and sexual sexual pleasure pleasure in the next chapter chapter.. In the meanti meantime, me, we are aware that some reported self spankers give themselves a bottom beating purely for “punishment” purposes, with no (reported) sexual sexual context context whatsoeve whatsoeverr. The spanking spanking may be due to that that person not studying hard enough, or because they have eaten too many fatty foods, etc. Now, both John and I talk a lot about chastisements. We may pretend that we’ve done something wrong and need a good spanking, but the punishment is always eroticised. The one thing that we are both quite good at—which may explain our friendship—is that we are always honest to ourselves. We get off on the spanking. If you’re an adult and spanking doesn’t turn you on, why do it? If it does, admit it, at least to yourself. yourself. Enjoy it. We We don’t recommend anyone using self spanking as a serious form of punishment for their sins, be they real or imagined. If you need to have a pretext for spanking yourself, then use whatever you like. However, However, it’s rarely helpful to set up as a deterrent device device somethin something g that that your your inner inner sexual sexuality ity is crying crying out for. for. If you want to lose weight, or study more, just do it. Work as 2 Rudolph Rudolph
Anorexia (Chic Bell, Holy Anorexia (Chicago ago:: The Universi University ty of Chicag Chicago o Press, Press,
1985). 3 Niklaus Largier, In Praise Praise of the Whip: Whip: A Cultur Cultural al History History of Arous Arousal al , tr. by Graham Harman (New York: Zone Books, 2007). 4 Richard von Krafft-Ebbing, Psychopathia Sexualis , 12th edition, tr. by F. J. Rebman (New York: Rebman Company, 1900).
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hard hard as you you can. can. . . and then then reward reward yourse yourself lf with with some some sexua sexuall playtime.
Is self spanking a form of self-harm? One One (all (allie ied) d) worr worry y that that we had had when when wr writ itin ing g this this book book was was whether self spanking is a form of self-harm, a more sexualised version of cutting oneself or of similar activities. Non-suicidal Non-suicidal self injury (as the current terminology describes self-harm) is seen as a harmful behaviour that may decrease unpleasant thoughts, generate generate desired feelings, and facilitate facilitate help-seeking. help-seeking. Well, we believe that self spanking can help to relieve stress, and it cercer tainly generates those “desired feelings”. However, research has also shown that very few self-harmers are sexually aroused by the act of injuring themselves.5 This is explicitly contrary to our concep conceptio tion n of self self spanki spanking ng as primar primarily ily a sexual sexual activity activity.. We also do not use self spanking to facilitate help seeking; as with masturbation it is primarily a deeply personal activity and is not a cry for attention. (Just for the record, some self-harmers also disagree that they are seeking attention.)6 Let us explor explore e this this furthe furtherr. An alternat alternative ive definitio definition n of selfselfharm (self injury) is “intentional, self-effected, low lethality bodily harm of a socially unacceptable nature, performed to reduce and/or communicate communicate psychological psychological distress”. distress”.7 Low lethality bodily harm sounds more than a little familiar to our buttocks. We suppose some aspects of self injury (bruising, potential for bleeding, etc.) could be identified with self spanking, yet neither John nor I use spanking to communicate distress. We have both said that we tend not to be in the mood for self spanking if we are feeling stressed by work, though that is often mostly to do with time constraints. Additionally, with respect to the other element of the definition, is self spanking socially unacceptable? We may be embarrassed by revealing that we self spank, but would the 5 Armando
under Siege: Siege: Self-mutil Self-mutilation ation,, Non-suici Non-suicidal dal Self- R. Favazza, Bodies under (Maryland: John Hopkins injury, injury, and Body Modificatio Modification n in Culture Culture and Psychiat Psychiatry ry (Maryland: University Press, 1996). 6 E.g., see http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2002/may/26/ mentalhealth.letters or many internet forums on the subject. 7 Barent Walsh, Treating Treating Self Injury: Injury: A Practical Practical Guide Guide , 2d edition (New York: Guildford, 2012).
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general reaction of others be the same if we were to reveal that we cut and scarred our arms or legs with a piece of glass? Our view would be that most people would regard the former as a sexual “kink”, requiring little more than raised eyebrows or eyes glistening with comprehension, whereas the latter would suggest some psychological distress. The film Secretary (2002) portrays a woman’s journey away from a life where she needs to cut herself to one where she is spanke spanked d by her boss/part boss/partner ner.. This This is presented presented as a positi positive ve development for her, albeit within the context of moving to a sym biotic relationship with the man in question. We are not saying that that is the correct stance. We don’t understand self-harm sufficien sufficiently tly to take take such such an approac approach. h. Howeve Howeverr, the self-harm self-harm literature that we reviewed does not focus on self spanking as a pathology. We cannot deny, though, that a psychological need for self-harm self-harm may manifest manifest itself through severe self spanking. spanking. In fact, extreme behaviour as a result of psychological disturbances can be seen in most sexual practices, be that simple addiction to the act of sex or to a whole myriad of other practices. If you are in any way engaging in self spanking as a “scream without sound”, sound”,8 then we do recommend that you seek some additional therapeutic support.
Self spanking as solo spanking What exactly is the relationship between spanking and self spanking? Is self spanking to spanking as masturbation is to sex? We have looked at a wide range of comments from reported self spankers in various internet forums (too varied and, often, too transi transitor tory, y, to mentio mention n in detail detail here). here). We don’t don’t profess profess this this to be a strictly academic work, so we will not go into the detailed numb number ers. s. Howe Howeve verr, a numb number er of peop people le sugg sugges este ted d that that they they spanked themselves in the absence of a partner to undertake their disciplining. Some found the practice unsatisfying because they could not achieve sufficient force, or their primary buzz had come from a feeling of helplessness at the hands of their partner. Overall, we do feel reasonably comfortable in suggesting that 8 Dawn Dawn
Collin Collins, s, “Attac “Attacks ks on the body: How can we unders understan tand d self-h self-harm? arm?”” Psychodynamic Psychodynamic Counseling 2 2 (1996), pp. 463–75.
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self self spank spankin ing g is analo analogo gous us to mast mastur urba bati tion on.. Inde Indeed ed,, the the two two practices can be indulged more or less concurrently, be that in anticipation of chastisement to come, as heightened pleasure during the session, or as a climactic release following a deeply arousing experience. Nevertheless, we don’t agree that self spanking is just something you do when no one else is around to do it for you, although that can be a powerful reason. Self spanking offers an opportunity to explore your own feelings and sexuality without having to share that journey, or have it diluted in some way by a partner. Both John and I agree that we like sex, but that we have also had very powerful, and deeply personal, sexual experiences through masturbation. We don’t like to say one experience is “better” than another; both shared and selfinduced sexual experiences offer us an opportunity to explore our fantasies and achieve great pleasure.
Are self spankers masochistic? If self spanking is just a form of spanking without a partner, are self spankers masochistic? They are the ones being beaten and subjugated after all. On a social-psychological level, masochistic practices are viewed as an escape from self, with masochists absolving themselves from responsibility for their own behaviour whilst acting on the demands of the dominant partner .9 Within this definition it could be considered absurd to suggest that self spankers are masochistic. They are taking ultimate responsibility for their own actions by deciding on an action and carrying it out themselves. Actually, we think the situation is much more complex. For a start, self spankers will often abrogate decision making over a punishment to a random element (e.g., to the roll of a dice) or occasionally occasionally to another another person. Although Although I mostly mostly fantasise about about receiv receiving ing punish punishmen ments, ts, John John is also also massiv massively ely turned turned on by givi giving ng spanki spanking ngs. s. For For both both of us, us, self self spanki spanking ng offers offers both elements of sadism (giving pain, albeit to ourselves) and masochism (receiving pain). Unless you’ve been in the midst of a heavy session of self spanking, it is difficult to explain how 9 D.
Sexual Deviance: Deviance: Theory, Theory, As- Richard Laws and William T. O’Donohue, Sexual sessment, and Treatment , 2d edition (New York: The Guildford Press, 2008).
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this this dual element element works. works. It is like like having having two person personali alitie ties s at work throughout the process, though these are ill defined and won’t necessarily have distinct voices. John believes that his dominant side comes out more during his sessions, whilst I feel I am more submissive. A self spanking personality is therefore high highly ly indi indivi vidu dual alis isti tic c and and need need not not nece necess ssar aril ily y be a “top “top”” or “bot “botto tom” m”.. (We (We use use thes these e terms terms here here to help help deno denote te domi domina nant nt and submissive characters, though neither of us can bear these expressions.) There is no right or wrong answer and, like us, you will probably also flirt between these two aspects of spanking sexuality. What we do know for sure is that there is, somehow, a link in our souls between pain and pleasure, and it is to this connection that we now turn.
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Chapter 2
Pain As Pleasure If you are anything like us, and we suspect other spankos are like us, at least in this respect, your ears will prick up whenever a spanking term is heard in the mainstream media. You may therefore recall hearing of a Russian scientific study that suggested taking a beating on the buttocks with a cane helped as a cure for depression by releasing endorphins into the blood stream. stream .1 Endorphins are neurochemicals produced in the brain in reaction to high levels of pain. This response can lead to feelings of euphoria. In fact, these neurochemicals have a similar effect on pain as drugs such as morphine and codeine. Now, neuroscience is by no means our speciality, and the complexity of the research in this regard is bewildering bewildering.. However However, experienced experienced self spankers will know already about that feeling of a (neurochemically induced) high during an especially rewarding session. Quite obviously, the fun of self spanking is not all about the neuro neuroch chem emic ical al respo respons nse e to pain pain thou though gh.. After After all, all, we’v we’ve e had had painfu painfull inject injection ions, s, stubbe stubbed d toes toes and other other trauma traumas. s. (John (John is thinking here of an accidental testicular blow he sustained a while back.) Surely we should get the same type of euphoric feel feelin ing? g? Is pain to the the butt buttoc ocks ks someho somehow w spec specia ial? l? Well, ell, let’ let’s s cons consid ider er this. this. The The bott bottom om is a “naug “naught hty” y” area. area. From From an early early age, age, it is trea treate ted d like like the penis, penis, vagi vagina na,, or breast breasts. s. It is kept kept hidden hidden from view. view. It is part part of our sexual sexual being. Anatom Anatomica ically lly,, 1
See www.theage.com.au/news/World/A-good-caning-takes-some-\ beating/2005/03/30/1111862460598.html for for a news news desc descri ript ptiion of the the study.
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the buttocks are essentially just muscle masses superimposed by a layer of fat. However, However, several important nerves either supply or cross the gluteal (buttock) region. 2 We We won’t get into a debate about whether the buttocks should be considered an erogenous zone, but suffice to say the bottom has nerve connections with the genitalia. genitalia. We We know too that a person’s pain threshold increases as they become sexually aroused.3 Your Your perception of the pain you are experiencing will be dependent on the overall circumstances in which the discomfort is being realised. Try self spanking yourself when you have a common cold or a fever. fever. It hurts, and not in a good way. Of course, there are many other factors that influence each each indivi individual dual’s ’s pain pain respon response. se. For example, example, women women tend tend to have a lower pain threshold than men (though, interestingly, research also suggests we tend to experience more pain in our lives).4 This fits in with our own experiences, as John can take a much harder beating than I can. Although pain is the primary primary symptom associated with spanking, ing, othe otherr phys physic ical al respo respons nses es do occu occurr. Rece Receiv ivin ing g a beat beatin ing g involves a flow of blood to the assaulted buttock area, with that feeling of warm-to-the-touch skin that is so familiar to the well spanked individual. The punished person may also start to sweat and their heart may race (reactions associated with excitement). Their knees may buckle as their equilibrium become unbalanced with a particularly nasty stroke, and they may shake. The indi vidual’s level of arousal may increase as they respond sexually to what is happening to them. In emotional situations, they may begin to cry. We We mustn’t overlook the oft-forgotten oft-forgotten aural context to spanking. Many implements make a satisfying “thwack”, “crack”, “slap”, or “whoosh” as they make contact with the elastic skin of the buttocks. The punished person may grunt, give an unintelligible “ooh “ooh”” soun sound, d, cry cry out, out, or even even scre scream am.. I tend tend to give give a rath rather er strange “aaawwwwww” sound that is difficult to express in writing, whilst John tells me his utterances are more akin to a “mpfh” 2 A
technical description of the gluteal region can be found at http://www. dartmouth.edu/~humananatomy/part_3/chapter_14.html . 3 Robert C. Scaer, The Body Bears the Burden: Trauma, Dissociation, and Dis- ease , 2d edition (Binghamton: Haworth Medical Press, 2007). 4 R. B. Fillingham, “Individual differences in pain responses”, Current Rheuma- 7 (2005), pp. 342–7. tology Reports 7
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after particularly strong contact is made with his bottom. There is of course a significant significant visual component to the spanking. The chastised area of the bottom will start to redden, and welts or bruises may appear. appear. No matter the skin tone, the red always shines through. It is, and always has been, a significant turn-on for both of us to contemplate the sight of our reddened, well-punished posteriors. You You might think from reading all of this that errant pupils in Victorian Victorian times would have rushed to their headmasters headmasters in droves for the thrill of a caning. This clearly was not the case, though we cannot discount the possibility that some may have sought out punishment for that reason. Indeed, we know from The Confes- sions of of the great philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau, that his own tastes for spanking developed from an early chastisement .5 Who could have supposed that this childish punishment ment.. . . would would determ determin ine e my taste tastes s and and desi desires res,, my passions, my very self for the rest of my life, and that in a sense diametrically opposed to the one in which they should normally have developed. It is no surprise from our review thus far that corporal punishment is increasingly perceived in western societies as having a sexual meaning.6 Nonetheless, the question here is whether we are overstating the joys of receiving physical blows to the buttocks. We can’t get away from the fact that it has traditionally been a significant punishment in previous societies and the practice still exists in some countries. In fact, as of this writing, only 33 countries have completely banned the use of physical chastisement in all settings. settings.7 We We should bear in mind that corporal punishment punishment has traditionally involved other areas of the body in addition to the bottom (e.g., “the holding back of tears as he lashed out across the back of the knees or the open hands”), 8 without an obvious sexual 5 Jean-Jacques
Rousseau, The Confessions , tr. tr. by J. M. Cohen (Londo (London: n: PenPen-
guin, 1953). 6 Trevor Butt and Jeff Hearn, “The Sexualization of Corporal Punishment: The Construction of Sexual Meaning”, Sexualities 1 1 (1998), pp. 203–27. 7 For current statistics, see http://endcorporalpunishment.org/ , the website of the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. 8 A. Holbrooka, “Rewards and punishments in New South Wales classrooms in the early twentieth century”, Melbourne Studies in Education 38 (1997), pp. 1–30.
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linkage. Some corporal punishments were also extremely severe and could certainl certainly y not be counte countenan nanced ced in sexual sexual terms. For example, records from 1860 relay details of a fifteen year old schoolboy’s encounter with a “punishment” from his headmaster that led to injuries that were ultimately fatal. 9 To the contrary, one possible explanation about our enjoyment of spanking games in the developed world may be that it is a way of experiencing pain and “suffering” whilst having the benefit of knowing that we will not come to any harm. Activities such as chili eating or riding on a roller-coaster are, for example, known as “constrained risks”, with the enjoyment of the irritation stemming from an appreciation that the sensation and the body’s defensive reaction to it are harmless.10 An element of this rings true for both of us. Those times when we have been frightened of having done real damage from a spanking were not at all exciting or pleasurable. The sheer physicality of spanking is not the only factor in our enjoymen enjoyment. t. Speak Speak to anyone anyone who likes likes spanking spanking and they they will invariably tell you that it is about more than the physical response to punishment. In fact, the anticipation and the background history can be more satisfying than the pain. As a case in point, the best spanking stories can drive both of us close to orgasm even before the actual punishment has been described. Clearly, the psychological context is critical. Over the years we have seen many visualisations of the spanking desire, through personal interactions, movies, videos, stories, blogs, chat-rooms, and forums. We are certain that spanking encapsulates extremely strong feelings feelings of control, control, submission submission and shame. You will see many of these in the scenarios appendix. However, those three characteristics are by no means unique to spanking. Preferring to be on top during intercourse may represent an attempt to be in control of a sexual situation. A girl kneeling down and giving oral sex to her boyfriend and allowing him to ejaculate over her breasts is arguably arguably an act of submission. Exhibitionism Exhibitionism could be interpreted as a person trying to feel humiliated at the thought of another seeing them naked. In fact, each of those encounters (and many more besides) could be interpreted in a number of 9 D.
P. Leinster Mackay, “Regina v Hopley: Some Historical Reflections on Corporal Punishment”. Journal of Educational Administration and History 9 (1977): pp. 1–6. 10 Paul Rozin and Deborah Schiller, “The nature and acquisition of a preference for chili pepper by humans”, Motivation and Emotion 4 (1980), pp. 77–101.
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ways. The temptation here is for us to simply say that all sexual acts are in some way related to power interactions. That may or may not be true, but it doesn’t help to answer the specific question of why spanking spanking above all else turns us on. Where does our terrible lust for spanking come from? Let’s try and find out.
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Chapter 3
Finding the source of the spanking demon Let’s face it, many of us will have encountered “spanking” type thoughts long before we had first beaten ourselves with a bath brush in front of the mirror. mirror. During our early wandering thoughts we knew nothing of endorphins or blood spreading across our buttocks. Indeed, John recalls his initial stirrings as having nothin nothing g to do with with spanki spanking. ng. He finds the memory difficult difficult to date date but estima estimates tes that he was about about ten years years old. For some reason the idea of an attractive girl at his school being made to run extra laps (around the school athletics track) made him feel very strange and excited. These ideas evolved into fantasies about about her being being forced forced to plac place e a fork fork up her her bott bottom om.. Even Even at that age these fantasies were subsequently considered absurd by John and were unsatisfying in as much as they were unreal. At some point—John point—John has no idea when—the when—the focus turned to fantas fantasisi ising ng about about spanki spanking ng girls’ girls’ bottoms. bottoms. This This was someho somehow w more vivid and tangible. For John, spanking is a manifestation of some sadistic demon that has driven him from an early age. However, I want to point out here that he is a kind and gentle man, and I have no doubt that he has always behaved impeccably towards women (in my view treating them far too much like angels in some cases). Indeed, both John and I agree that spankos are often the least aggressive or contentious people we meet. Again, there is no scientific basis to this, but we have conjectured that 18
sexual spanking acts as a conduit for our aggressive thoughts and any violence is filtered out into a safe and consensual channel. John’s first self spanking experience was in the bathroom, with a bath brush, with a terrified ear listening for sounds of family members returning home. For John, self spanking was an attempt to develop the punishment fantasy beyond masturbatory imaginings of the mind alone. He wanted real physical sensations. At that age he would never have spoken to girls, or anyone else, about about his spank spankin ing g inte interes rests ts.. There There was no quest questio ion n of him him achieving the sensations of giving or receiving spankings through any any othe otherr sourc source. e. Thus Thus it was was the the bath bath brush, brush, the the rule rulerr, and and then almost any instrument to hand, that bluntly thwacked into his teenage bottom. John recalls his deep disappointment when, many years later, he first received a spanking from a girlfriend. The girl, certainly not a spanko as such, had been very anxious about about hitti hitting ng too hard. hard. To butt buttoc ocks ks that had sust sustai aine ned d the the assaults of everything from a tree branch to a telephone cord, a hand spanking from a petite twenty-something made very little impression. My own own feel feelin ings gs are hazi hazier er,, and and cert certain ainly ly it is diffic difficul ultt to pinpoint the origins of my spanking interests. Outwardly, I was an active, confident girl and was often surrounded by boys whom I rarely rarely felt attracte attracted d to. They They would, would, as teenag teenage e boys boys tend tend to, profess profess undying undying love. love. Howeve Howeverr, I didn’t didn’t have a truly truly satisf satisfyin ying g connection with any one boy at school. I recall having distinctly “weird” feelings when reading Jane Eyre (at one point she is punished in the novel). The most vivid memory, though, relates to a television show or movie where I witnessed a male giving a much much younge youngerr girl girl a punish punishmen mentt caning. caning. Even Even now, trying trying to recall this, a shiver goes through my loins as I hear the cracks on flesh and the cries of anguish. Alas, I have never been able to find the caning scene since, despite extensive searching. I did wonder whether this was one of the punishment scenes from the Happy Valley (1987) (1987) movie (YouTube usually has these clips), but I am convinced that it was not. Perhaps it is better that I do not see the scene again. In any case, it was not long after watching that scene that I first tried to spank spank myself myself.. I had long long hair hair and I had had a hairb hairbrus rush h in my room, so—and I am sorry to be a cliché—I furtively pulled down my pyjamas and gave myself several cracks with the brush. I can
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still recall the excitement as my deathly pale white bottom turned red. I only wish I had known then (as I know now) how to really get myself off, as the orgasmic potential from that moment would have been truly quite exhilarating. What we both have in common is that we were non-rebellious chil childre dren n of abov above e aver averag age e inte intell llig igen ence ce in stab stable le,, lovi loving ng,, nonnonabusive homes. Neither of us recall ever being spanked, though our parents say they gave us light slaps when we were children. My formative years were wealthier than John’s, for sure, and he can’t discount that some of the early humiliations associated with a lack of money may have contributed in some way to his psyche. Maybe my comfortable existence had the reverse effect and and I wish wished ed to seek seek out degr degrad adat atio ion. n. Who Who can can say for sure? sure? What we do know is that we both lost our virginity at roughly the same same time—t time—the he first year year of colleg college. e. We suppos suppose e the appeal appeal of “ordinary” sex was not there for us in our early teenage years. No, that’s probably not quite true. It’s just that we were not chasing sex, or particularly anxious to experience “lovemaking” in its traditional format. What we really wanted was to spank and be spanked. That consumed our formative years to the extent that other sexual activities were simply pushed out to the periphery. Both John and I suspect that our own attempts to define the origins of our interest in spanking are almost certainly false. Clearly, with John’s recollections listed earlier, something existed within him before that point. What was that? Psychologists have variously sought to explain the interest in spanking and other sadomasochistic activities as related to sexual abuse, as a de viance, and as a result of childhood experiences.1 Although there is some evidence that participants in sadomasochistic activities are more likely to have been abused as a child, 2 the overwhelming overwhelming majori majority ty of partici participant pants s were not abused abused.. Other Other research research has indicated that sadomasochism is not a pathological symptom of past abuse or of difficulty with “normal” sex.3 1 Alan
Paglia: A Philosoph Philosophical ical Encyclopaed Encyclopaedia ia , VolSoble, ed., Sex from Plato to Paglia: ume 2 (Westport: Greenwood Press, 2006). 2 See e.g. e.g. Niklas Niklas Nordli Nordlinga nga,, N. Kennet Kenneth h Sandna Sandnabba bbab, b, and Pekka Pekka Santti Santtilac lac Nordin Nordinlin ling, g, “The “The Preval Prevalenc ence e and Effects Effects of Self-R Self-Repo eporte rted d Childh Childhood ood Sexual Sexual Abuse Abuse among Sadomasochistically Oriented Males and Females”, Journal of Child Sex- 9 (2000), pp. 53–63. ual Abuse 9 3 J. Richters, et al ., ., “Demographic and psychosocial features of participants in bondage and discipline, ‘Sadomasochism’ or dominance and submission (BDSM): Data from a national survey”, Journal of Sexual Medicine 5 (2008), pp. 1660–
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We We have a number of issues with the traditional academic interpretat interpretations ions of sadomasochism. sadomasochism. One of the most important important concerns is that there is often a focus on BDSM “subcultures”. With all due respect to those individual individual societies or gatherings, we are not convinced that they necessarily represent the mainstream of spanking “culture”. Thus the research tends to miss the hidden spankos—millions in our assessment—for whom spanking is a private, occasionally repressed affair, their true sexuality carefully conc concea eale led d from from thos those e aroun around d them them.. It is doub doubtf tful ul that that thos those e spankos would reveal themselves even within anonymous postal sex sex stud studie ies. s. Thus Thus we have have revi review ewed ed a cons consid ider erab able le range range of literature, yet in truth we have not found a solid analysis of the desire that speaks to who we truly are. For what it is worth, our own view is this. By our early teen years, we have undergone millions, possibly billions, of individual individual experiences (moments of life, glances, utterances, sounds heard and so on). In effect, by the age of 15, a teenager teenager will have lived lived for 7,884,000 minutes. Some of those have been very long minutes indeed indeed;; some some have have seemed seemed much shorter shorter.. It seems plausib plausible le that some experiences within those minutes will have had such profundity as to mark the whole of our lives, yet we prefer to think think that we are the sum total of all of those encount encounters ers.. We cannot recall or document the majority of those encounters and therefo therefore re we cannot cannot interpre interprett them them effectiv effectively ely.. At some some point point it seems likely that, for us, there arose a connection between an ill-defined concept of “punishment” and our early sexualised thoughts. We won’t have understood it at the time and certainly would have been unable to verbalise it. Indeed, it may be that this feeling existed initially only at a purely emotional, instinctual level. In any case this link marked our initial masturbatory fantasies and thus simply became self-reinforcing over our impressionable teen teenage age year years s and into into adul adulth thoo ood. d. In the the circu circums msta tanc nces es self self spanking was simply a natural extension of the development of our sexuality. sexuality. The, frankly inadequate, conclusion to this chapter is that we simply don’t know why we love spanking. Perhaps that is not a bad thing. Clearly, whatever the explanation, explanation, our sexuality is at the core of our complexity as human beings. This makes us who we are as much, if not more, than our politics or our preferences 1668.
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for art, music, or literature. We would hope that this can never be fully explained away—and thus diminished—by diminished—by an equation of experiences or acts. At this point the reckoning from both authors is that we’ve spent enough time on our attempts at self-analysis. Isn’t it about time we moved into some self spanking? We thought you’d agree.
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Part II
Self Spanking In Practice
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Chapter 4
Safety Is spanking dangerous? Before we arm ourselves with multiple stud studie ies s of chil childh dhoo ood d deve develo lopm pmen ent, t, let let us agai again n be clear clear that that we are not debatin debating g the merits merits of the physic physical al chasti chastisem sement ent of chil childr dren en.. As we made made clear clear befo before re,, that that is a diffe differe rent nt topi topic c altogether and, frankly, you’re still reading the wrong book. We are only seeking to help potential adult self spankers consider the risks associated with the practice. Apologies if that all sounded somewhat churlish. Unfortunately, tolerance and reasonableness are rarely virtues associated with the manner in which this topic is debated. Spend some time reading on this subject and you’ll either think that spanking is the safest practice the earth has ever seen or that it will certainly kill you (or at least permanently disable you). Both standpoints are misleading. Firstly, it would be extremely foolish to suggest that any form of spanking is entirely risk free. Experienced practitioners know this and act accordingly. If you want empty reassurance, this isn’t the place for you. We’ve struggled to fully explain the risks here, partly due to the apparent rarity of documented incidents of long term injury amongst the BDSM community and partly because most serious injuries described following corporal punishment have involved young children. However, for the record these included spinal injury, 1 hypovolemic shock 2 (serious condition of a 1 M.
Renard, et al ., ., “Three unusual cases of spinal cord injury in childhood”, Paraplegia 16 16 (1978), pp. 130-134. 2 Scott Eichelberer, Douglas W. Beal, and Ronald B. May, “Hypovolemic Shock in a Child as a Consequen Consequence ce of Corporal Corporal Punishment”, Punishment”, Paediatrics 87 87 (1991), pp.
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reduction in the volume of blood in the body) and rhabdomyolysis3 (which causes kidney damage). Spanking and paddling have also been associated with sciatic nerve damage, central nervous system haemorrhage, muscular and skeletal damage as well as other injuries injuries..4 If you’re as risk averse as we are, you’ll likely be made quite anxious by the idea that spanking could cause grave complications. tions. However However,, let’s consider consider the potential potential risks of some other activities. Baseball players may wish to know that they run the risk of death,5 severe head injuries, cervical injuries, commotio cordis (disruption of the heart rhythm as a result of a blow to the area), a collapsed trachea and facial fractures. 6 A little more worrying to the authors—we are presently quite comfortable on a sofa with a laptop writing this chapter—is the clear association between increased mortality rates and the length of time we sit down. down.7 It’s a facile point but an important one. There are risks in everything we do. Be aware of them, minimise them, but ultimately only you can decide if the risk is worth it. That’s the case for spanking, as it is for playing baseball or for getting in a car or a plane.
The Impact When you strike your bottom, the painful stimulus is detected by tissue sensors called nociceptors. There are hundreds of billions of nociceptors on your buttocks. Indeed, the body is saturated with pain sensors ready to leap into action to deliver signals to your central nervous system. Please bear in mind though that it 570–557. 3 See http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1208/03/acd.01.html for details of the sad death of the child involved. 4 Edward F. Zigler, Matia Finn-Stevenson, and Nancy W. Hall, The First Three (New Haven: Yale UniYears and Beyond: Beyond: Brain Brain Developm Development ent and Social Social Policy Policy (New versity Press, 2004). 5 R. van Ameron Amerongen gen,, et al ., ., “Vent “Ventric ricula ularr fibrill fibrillati ation on follow following ing blunt blunt chest chest trauma from a baseball”, Paediatric Emergency Care 13 (1997), pp. 107–110. 6 Barry Barry P. Boden, Boden, Robin Robin Tacchet Tacchetti, ti, and Fred Fred O. Muelle Muellerr, “Catas “Catastro trophi phic c In juries in High School and College Baseball Players”, American Journal of Sports 32 (2004), pp. 1189–1196. Medicine 32 7 P. T. Katzmarzyk, et al ., ., “Sitting Time and Mortality from All Causes, Cardio vascular Disease, and Cancer”, Medicine and Science in Sports and Exercise 41 (2009), (2009), pp. 998–1005. 998–1005.
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is possible for the threshold for the activation of the nociceptors to move up and down.8 Don’t assume the same spanking will deliver the same amount of pain. As the spanking continues, blood flows to the area and this is what causes the all-too-familiar all-too-familiar reddening of the skin. A bruise is made when tiny blood vessels under the skin are damaged. The blood has nowhere to go, so it forms a purple/red mark on the skin.9 This changes in colour over time, though the age of a bruise cannot be easily distinguished by its colour .10 In his useful explanation of blunt force trauma, the pathologist Dr Nich Nichol olas as Bata Batali lis s expl explain ains s that that the the impa impact ct of an inju injury ry is dependent on a number of factors, including the kinetic energy displaced by the object in motion.11 Kinetic energy just means the energy a body (e.g., a paddle or hairbrush) has by virtue of being in motion. The general idea is that a lighter object travelling at a fast speed will do more damage than a heavier object travelling at low speed. A spanking with a heavy oak paddle connecting slowly with the buttocks does less damage than a small hairbrush hairbrush flying at speed towards your rear end. Dr Batalis notes that impacts involving a large surface area— relating either to the implement or the tissues being impacted— will result in a greater dispersion of energy over a larger area and less injury injury to the impact impacted ed tissues. tissues. This This would would mean mean that that a thin cane striking the buttocks would be expected to inflict greater localised injuries than a paddle stroke of similar mass and and velo veloci city ty.. Thos Those e who have have take taken n a good good caning caning will have experienced the science already. Likewise, an impact on a small area of a curved surface will cause greater damage than would be caused were that same impact to occur on a flat surface. Dr Batalis also points out that the composition of the tissues also affects the level of injury. Deeper, more solid tissues such as ribs and internal organs may experience injuries such as fractures and lacerations. Spanking must never involve such areas of the 8 Jay
B. Forrest, Conquering Pain , Chicago: BC Decker, 1994.
9 See
http://nhsdirect.nhs.uk/jointpainandswellingselfcare/ bumpsknocksandbruises . 10 N. E. I.
Langl Langloi ois s and and G. A Gr Gres esha ham, m, “The “The agein ageing g of bruise bruises: s: a revi review ew and study of the color changes with time”, Forensic Science International 50 (1991), pp. 227–38. 11 Nich Nichol olas as Bata Batali lis, s, “Fore “Forens nsic ic Auto Autops psy y of Blun Bluntt Fo Forc rce e Traum Trauma” a”,, http:// emedicine.medscape.c emedicine. medscape.com/article om/article/1680107-overview /1680107-overview .
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body. Another factor affecting the severity of injuries is the amount of time the body and the impacting object are in contact. A longer period of contact allows kinetic energy to be dissipated over a prolonged period, resulting in less damage to the tissues than an equally forceful impact with dispersion of energy over a brief period period.. This This could could explain explain why “snap” “snap” stroke strokes s that that are pulled pulled back or snap back after impact tend to hurt more than “follow through” strokes.
Practical safety tips So what does does all all of this mean mean in practi practice ce? ? As we said said before before,, there is no “safe” way to self spank. However, here are ten useful tips to help minimise the risk of injury and ensure you have a more enjoyable time. 1. Sho Shoul uld d you you be self self span spanki king ng at all? all? We can’ can’tt offer offer you you medica medicall advice advice.. Howeve Howeverr, if you are pregna pregnant nt or have have any underlying health problems—such as bruising or blood clotting disorders, kidney trouble, back problems, etc.—then we recommend that you consider refraining from self spanking altogether or seek specialist clinical advice. After all, it stands to reason that any condition that causes problems with the body’s healing systems, exacerbates bruising, or reduces the ability to fight infection, may be incompatible with self spanking. 2. Give yourself the time to self spank safely. We know that’s easier said than done in this busy, high pressure world. However, if you act in haste, you are more likely to injure yourself. Also, the anticipation and the slow build up— the time taken to dream up and calculate the punishment due—can be half the fun of a good self spanking session. 3. Be clean and use clean implements at all times. Whenever we use implements, implements, we consider that there could potentially be a break in the skin, even if choosing a seemingly safe item item.. To give give you the the gene general ral idea, idea, belt belts s can can have have meta metall screws and wire hangers can have sharp edges. You won’t always see the problem until it has nicked you. Additionally, 27
many items can pierce the skin of an already damaged bottom. We therefore clean the item and use a form of disinfectant on our buttocks and on our implements. John rubs cheap aftershave all over a paddle or belt and covers his buttocks and upper thighs with pre-shave alcohol. He then uses antiseptic cream afterwards. Any microbiologists amongst our readers will know that that will not eliminate the risk completely. Nevertheless, as John has no intention of breaking the skin during his sessions, his preparations are probably proportionate to the accidental risk of a skin break. If you’re using birches, especially if prepared from natural twigs, use a proper disinfectant. In all cases, make sure you are not using an implement or other material that you are likely to be allergic to. 4. Aim for the lower, soft, fleshy part of the bottom. Avoid the coccyx (tailbone). You can injure your coccyx if you suffer a hard impact to the base of your spine. spine .12 Self-evidentl Self-evidently, y, you should steer clear of the kidneys (located in the back of the abdomen so you should be aiming nowhere near them), or any other sensitive areas. Additionally, don’t spank the side of the bum (hip area). Think about what we have said about blunt force trauma. 5. Don’t purposefully break the skin and don’t spank skin that has broken, or is bleeding. That’s a no-no. Sometimes this happens happens accidentally accidentally (as above). Common Common sense, though, tells any sane, clear-thinking person that something sharp impacting at high speed against your bum can break the skin and is thus a bad thing. Or, so you would think. Let me clarify this. One of my favourite implements is the hairbrush. I was going through an unusually (for me) severe phase and really really loved getting getting a hard, hard, firm spanki spanking. ng. The hairbrus hairbrush h addicts amongst you may know that the sensation can lose its effect after several sessions. With a deliciously anxious feeling of impending severe punishment, I re-directed the blows using the bristle end of the brush onto my delicate fema female le bott bottom om.. I won’ won’tt say say that that it wasn wasn’t ’t a nice nice feel feelin ing. g. However, after giving myself only a relatively small number 12 See
e.g. http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/coccydinia/Pages/Causes.
aspx.
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of firm strokes, the hairbrush was red and my bottom was, quite literally, literally, covered with blood. blood. Clearly, Clearly, the individual individual bristles had broken the skin in a number of areas. Not only did this instantly kill the mood and end the session, I managed to get through half a tube of antiseptic cream within the following sixty seconds and spent the next few days convinced I would somehow suffer a critical episode of septicaemia septicaemia (blood infection) infection).. How would I explain explain this to sceptical emergency medical staff, not to mention friends and family? Fortunately, no such infection developed, but I never again used the reverse side of the brush.
6. Avoid Avoid the genitals genitals.. For quite obvious obvious and less protrud protruding ing reasons, the ladies have the easier time here. Men should take great care to tuck their treasured assets well away from harm’s harm’s reach. reach. John John has plenty plenty of agonising agonising example examples s of how he aimed to bring a heavy belt down onto his buttocks, only only to catc catch h his his test testic icle les s in the the pr proc oces ess. s. Don’ Don’tt use use less less controllable implements (e.g., belts) standing up, or in any other position where you cannot fully protect your genitals. John takes great care now in lying over a pillow and ensuring his genitals are up front against the pillow and not near the bottom region. 7. Stand up or lie face down (back straight). Don’t bend with your back, and try to avoid sudden jolts. You’re after a stin stingi ging ng red bott bottom om,, not not the the agony agony of a slip slippe ped d disc disc.. If a position is uncomfortable or it seems to place a strain on your back, it more than likely won’t do you any good, and you are unlikely to have an enjoyable session. 8. Stay aware of what you are doing to yourself. Some people dismiss self spanking as a waste of time because they can’t actually hurt themselves. Quite simply, it is utter nonsense to suggest that you will be unable to harm yourself because you are the one inflicting the pain. For us, we feel the most dangerous time is when we have entered the “zone” towa toward rds s the the end end of the the sess sessio ion. n. It real really ly is very very easy easy to let let loos loose e on your your bott bottom om with with all all thos those e neuro neuroch chem emic ical als s swimming around your entire being. Both John and I have been shocked more than once at the appearance of our
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buttocks after getting caught up during particularly fiery sessions. 9. Use appropriate after care. Don’t heat the area as this can cause cause further further inflammati inflammation. on. Our own practi practice ce is to use a form of antiseptic cream, or aftershave, even if we cannot see any skin breaks. Medical websites recommended placing ice on a bruise (use a cloth so as not to injure the skin) to help it heal faster and to reduce swelling. 13 Do this for no longer than 15 minutes every hour. 10. Give Give your yourse self lf time time to he heal al,, physi physica call lly y and and emot emotio iona nall lly. y. Firs Firstl tly, y, your buttocks need time to heal. Love your bottom and make sure that it has the chance to return to its normal soft and flawless state. Just as importantly, you need to ensure that self spanking is not becoming addictive for you. As we said earlier, the pain of self spanking can induce a strong sense of euphoria. There is a potential for a person to require ever higher levels of pain to achieve the desired buzz. Of course, some development in this regard is almost inevitable as you get used to different sensations sensations and pain levels. However However,, be wary of escalating your sessions. Treat self spanking as an indulgence. Just like chocolate or alcohol, self spanking is lovely as a treat but it should not be a key ingredient of our everyday diet. Speaking of diet, we do recommend that you treat your stomach far better than your bottom. For example, bruises are helped in the healing process by important minerals such as Vitamin C, by bioflavonoids (naturally occurring plant substances in brightly coloured vegetables and fruits) and by essential fatty acids that are necessary for tissue repair.14 Good sources of Vitamin C include peppers (red is better than green), oranges, grapefruits, kiwi fruits, strawberries and Brussels sprouts. 15 Good sources of essential fatty acids include oily fish (e.g., salmon and mackerel), nuts (e.g., walnuts) and seeds (e.g., flaxseed). So you’ll be eating 13 See http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007213.htm . 14 James F. Balch, Mark Stengler, Stengler, and Robin Young Young Balch, Prescription for Nat-
ural Cures (New Jersey: Wiley and Sons, 2011). 15 Information sourced from the Office of Dietary Supplement for the National Institute of Health. Factsheets can be found at http://www.ods.od.nih.gov/ .
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fish with a hearty green side salad and snacking on almonds and pumpkin seeds. One final but extremel extremely y import important ant point. point. Please Please do not be afraid of seeking medical advice if anything unusual does occur with your body after a self spanking session. A (non-exhaustive) (non-exhaustive) list of possible warning signs includes redness spreading from a break in the skin (not just a red bottom), an unusual level of pain at that site, pus coming out of the area, discolouration of urine, or an unexplained fever. It is invariably better to treat a problem sooner rather than later. later. Most (at least, urban) Emergency Emergency Departme partment nt doctors doctors have heard heard and seen seen it all. all. Make Make up a story of experimentation with a new partner if that will help (we don’t think it’s possible to tell the difference between self spanked and partner-delivered bruises). A bit of embarrassment really is very little in the scheme of things.
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Chapter 5
Self spanking techniques Firstl Firstly, y, an apology. apology. We both both recogni recognise se that it can be irrita irritatin ting g when a self-appointed “instructor” tells you that there is no right way of performing perfor ming a particular task. If they haven’t quite worked it out for themsel themselves ves,, why are they they teachi teaching ng it? Yet, we’re not talking about refining a tennis backhand shot, or loading a gun. For us, self spanking is not about delivering a sound whacking as effectively and efficiently as possible (although we are envious of those of you in decades to come who may well have robotic assistance with the task). As pretentious as we know this may sound, there is a difference between eating and dining. We can all perfect the task of eating, but we may have very different ideas about what constitutes an enjoyable meal experience.
A few words about you You You may be short or tall. You may have heavy muscles or no uppe upperr body body strengt strength h at all. You may have have a thin thin bottom bottom or a lovely lovely big bottom bottom destine destined d to be spanked. spanked. Your skin tone may be white, black, light brown, dark brown, freckled, or clear. clear. You may have a big bosom or small breasts. You may be slender or shapely. Above all, you are an individual, and you will need to find the right technique and position for you. 32
We We want you to feel comfortable and savour self spanking, so think of the following as less of an instruction manual and more as a series of hints and tricks to help you along and deliver what you need for yourself.
Overcoming self-preservation instincts Although our genes and neural programming help us to survive and propagate the species, they do prove rather burdensome for self self spanke spankers. rs. We don’t don’t want our internal internal softwa software re to protec protect t ourselves from a danger (a rod beating down on a defenceless bottom); we want to raise the bottom towards it. Some spankos can’t self spank simply because they feel unable to inflict any sort of pain upon themselves. So, how to overcome this? Let us say here that, if you’re not into spanking at all, you’re probably not going to be able to wallop your own buttocks for any length of time. However, if you are a spanko, it’s all about creati creating ng compar compartme tments nts within within your your thinki thinking: ng: the devil devil within within the brain giving the punishment and the angel within the brain receiv receiving ing (or the roles reversed reversed if you prefer). prefer). This This is explicit explicitly ly connected with the scenario: the more powerful the fantasy for you, the easier it will be. For example, you need to become both the college professor and the hapless failing student. As you raise the strap above your bottom, focus only on the thoughts of the punisher (e.g., the professor), then on impact you are the student again. (That’s the easier shift in thinking due to your anguished rear end.) end.) You can verbalise verbalise the two roles if you wish, wish, or even even record the punisher’s role in advance and play it back during the punishment. The trick is to bring the implement onto the bottom from a sufficient distance to generate a speedy stroke, either from above, assist assisted ed by gravit gravitati ational onal forces, forces, or from behind. behind. Some Some people people try to self spank with the implement just a few inches from their buttocks. This is usually unsatisfactory. unsatisfactory. If someone is punishing you, they don’t necessarily need a big back lift, but you’re unlikely to generate the desired force that way. Undoubtedly, some discipline (i.e., willpower) can be required init initia iall lly. y. Howe Howeve verr, this this beco become mes s easi easier er as the the span spanki king ng proprogresses, particularly as the neurochemicals start swirling around. In fact, you may find that, over time, the issue becomes not so
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much one of how to inflict any pain on your bottom; it is about how you can fine tune your technique to deliver the maximum pain pain.. That That is why why we have have stres stresse sed d the the impo import rtanc ance e of safet safety y throughout this book.
Before you are in position Your Your mood and physical well-being are the two most important factors in achieving a good session. If you are feeling unwell, don’t bother playing at all. Aside from other medical considerations, your response to pain is likely to be altered, and you are not going to enjoy the session. However, if you are feeling a bit down or sad, then a good self spanking might be just what you need, with a couple of important provisos. We We recommend firstly that you only undertake a session in a state of mind where you can engage sexually with the spanking. That doesn’t mean you have to achieve a sexual release; it just means that there has to be a sense of arousal lurking within you at the thought thought of the punishm punishment ent to come. Not only does does this this help to minimise the pain response, it is (at least in our view) the very essence of self spanking. Indeed, we never punish ourselves after sexual release has occurred, as the fundamental premise for the act has gone. The second consideration is that you should be able to fully engage engage mentall mentally y with with the session session.. When When we are self spanking spanking,, ther there e are are only only thre three e thou though ghts ts on our our mind mind:: the the stat state e of our our bottom, the arousal we are feeling, and the potential for discovery. If your boss’s furious assessment of your work earlier in the day is still still on your your mind, mind, give give the sess sessio ion n a miss miss.. That That is not not to say that self spanking cannot be a form of escapism and aid relaxation. It is just that some stresses are so overwhelming that we struggle to clear our thoughts. The last thing you want to be doing is smacking down hard objects onto your body when you are not in a clear state of mind. So, always get yourself nice and relaxed and prepared for the session. Your only inner trembling should be at the thought of what is going to happen to your bottom. bottom. Make Make sure the room is warm and comfor comfortab table. le. Take some relaxing deep breaths. Play some music and maybe sip sip a nic nice cup cup of te tea. . . .
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Positioning and techniques We We use two basic positions. The first of these is to stand up or kneel whilst we reach behind to spank, either using the palm of our hands, or by grasping an implement with our stronger hand and smacking this onto the lower fatty part of our buttocks. This position is particularly well suited to shorter implements, such as the hairbrush. We don’t recommend this at all for the belt, or any whip like implements. Those items are very difficult to control in this position and also also have have a tenden tendency cy to wrap around around and hit the genital genitals. s. An alternative technique here is the “reverse hand” stroke whereby the knuckles of the stronger hand face forward at the front and side of the buttocks. An implement (a wire hanger or short cane, for example) is then cracked onto the bottom using a flick of the wrist. An advantage of the standing position for both men and women is that you can use one hand to masturbate whilst you are punishing yourself with the other hand. The second key position is where we lie down whilst we use our strongest hand to reach behind and whip an instrument down on our buttocks. Imagine lying on a bed (face down) and rolling slightly away from your stronger arm, so that your body is at a slight angle and you are leaning more on your other side. For example, I am right handed, so I lie down and then lift my right side up slightly by balancing on the other side. This is so that I have easier access to turn round and see where the implement is striking. This is a better position for whip like implements, as we can ensure our genitals are tucked up front against a pillow (don’t open your legs). Gravity also helps to deliver the spanking as the implement is coming down from on high. It is not not as easy easy to mast mastur urba bate te duri during ng the the ly lyin ing g posi positi tion on.. (Though it is a “punishment” after all folks!) However, girls can strategically position the pillows and (not so surreptitiously) rub themselves against the material whilst the spanking is ongoing. Boys Boys are are goin going g to stru strugg ggle le.. If you you wish wish to have have some some geni genita tall stimulation as you wallop yourself, best to uncover the foreskin (if you have one), place this against the pillow and rock during the punishment.
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As we mentioned earlier, earlier, we don’t “bend over” as such as that places a lot of strain on the back. It’s fine to lie across the table with the legs protruding down, as long as the back is straight. I occasionally use a technique where I sit back and expose my bottom so I can attack this from the front. I can give myself a few swats, then play with my pussy and then return to the spanking. I learnt this position from a couple of spanking movies where the person being punished (usually a girl) had to hold their feet up and fully expose themselves. However, John hates this position as he can’t get his testicles out of the way. Of course, there is no limit to where these positions can be situ situat ated ed:: lie lie down down on a bed, bed, the the sofa sofa,, or even even a kitc kitche hen n tabl table. e. Stand up on a naughty chair in the centre of the room, or stand with your back to a mirror in the bathroom.
Timing of individual strokes A common problem for self spankers is getting the timing of strokes strokes just right. right. Indeed, Indeed, we suspect suspect that many many who dismiss dismiss self spanking as delivering inadequate sensation are rushing their technique. This is especially likely in self spankers who have been used to receiving punishment from other people. Self spanking requires more patience and offers a slower build up to achieve maxi maximu mum m sens sensat atio ion. n. The The sort sort of cani caning ng that that one one pers person on can can deliver to another in a few strokes is obviously going to be more severe than a self spanker can inflict upon themselves in the same time period. The trick is to know your implement (see the next chapter). For example, don’t try and use the cable, cane or a large paddle to deliver deliver rapid-fire rapid-fire strokes strokes.. Leave Leave a long long pause, pause, allow allow for the psychological build up; use the time to adjust your aim and steel yourself to bring the implement down smartly on your backside. Hairbrushes and wire hangers, on the other hand, are ill-suited to slow, heavy strokes. The goal is to deliver lots of quick, rapid blows, leaving only a momentary gap for the bottom to recover. recover. As the punishment reaches a crescendo, increase the speed of the strokes to the maximum you can achieve. This should only be done towards the end of a spanking, though, as the bottom will likely be too numb to achieve much sensation after that escalation period. 36
Whichever technique you use, we recommend building in natu natural ral pause pauses s with within in the span spanki king ng.. So, if you want want to give give yourself 50 strokes, do this in two sessions of 25. This has a numb number er of bene benefit fits. s. It gives gives time time for the the bott bottom om to cool cool down down and recover recover sensat sensation ion.. Additi Additional onally, ly, this allows allows you to go and examine your buttocks in a mirror. Not only can it be extremely erotic to see your reddening bottom, knowing that it will become yet more so, it also gives you the opportunity to inspect for any damage that may have occurred. Such signs often go unnoticed in the heat of the bottom battle. You You should now have an understanding of the basic techniques. In the next two chapters we’ll list the key instruments of doom for your bottom and give you some other unsavoury ideas too.
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Chapter 6
Implements We We have listed the key items alphabetically. Of course, this list is not defin definit itiv ive e and in fact fact it could could not possib possibly ly be so. so. It can be quite exciting to search the home or the local shops to find a new implement. No one will know that you don’t ever intend to chop onions on that new wooden kitchen board that you’ve just purchased. purchased. Yes, this experimentat experimentation ion can be disappointing disappointing on occasions, and you can hardly give yourself an experimental swat with the new leather belt in the store. We find, though, that the anticipation of innovation with new implements is worth the odd unsatisfyin unsatisfying g experience. experience. Unfortunatel Unfortunately, y, the world is becoming becoming ubiquitously plastic and finding decent wooden or leather items outside of a mail order setting is getting increasingly difficult.
A few words about pain levels. Defining pain in terms of subjective personal experience ence is as useful useful as. as. . . tellin telling g a blind blind man man that everyo everyone ne knows what the colour red is.1 We’ve We’ve all seen “serious” movies where a lady receives a few gentle smacks with the hand on petticoat covered buttocks, and yet her face contorts with pain such as you’ve never seen before. Quite understandably, spankos regard such scenes with ill-disguised contempt. We may also have viewed—with equal suspicion—those 1 Fernando
Cervero, Understanding Pain (Cambridge: MIT Press, 2012).
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film scenes where a naked man or woman laughs through an apparently brutal whipping. Clearly, those extremes are caricatures of reality. reality. Noneth Nonethele eless, ss, we do know people people have significa significantl ntly y different responses and tolerances to pain. We will try to give an overall sense of the average pain and sensation that an implement and technique technique can deliver deliver.. The scale will be from 0 (no pain) to 10 (maxim (maximum um pain pain and sensation sensation). ). Howeve Howeverr, we appreci appreciate ate that everyone will have their own views on this, and we of course welcome feedback about your own spanking experiences.
The bath brush Similar to a hair brush, though usually larger and occasionally plastic. This seems to be a common implement for “virgin” self spankers, no doubt partly due to the availability of this heavy implement in most bathrooms and its proximity to our naked bottoms when undressing for showering and bathing. Pros Pr os:: Ease Ease of use use (its (its length length and weig weight ht seem to be made for self spanking). Usually heavy and swift enough to provide a decent paddling, too. Cons: Like many implements of this type, the sensation can become numb and unsatisfactory after a relatively small number of strokes. Good for first attempts, but not for longer sessions. Pain rating: 6/10
The belt/strap/tawse At risk of causing offence to purists who may regard each of these as unique implements in their own right, we have unceremoniously lumped them all together. After all, in all cases we’re talking about striking the bottom with a thinnish strip of leather material. In our view having a couple of tails on the end of the leathe leatherr doesn’ doesn’tt make a whole whole host host of difference difference.. That That is not to say that the choice of implement is not important: in fact, it is crucial for self spankers. First of all, ditch the cheap plastic belts. Plastic belts make noise; good quality thick thick leather delivers delivers sensation. sensation. (When we say thick, we don’t mean width of the strip; we mean the depth of the leather.) Unfortunately, good quality thick leather belts are neither cheap, nor that easy to get hold of unless you are ordering 39
via the internet. Cheaper thin belts are difficult to manipulate and cause more injury to your arm than your buttocks. However, we think we have developed a decent solution that works with most leather belts. The trick is to use an old belt and cut off/remove the metal buckle, keeping the thicker area of the belt that supports the buckle (be sure to remove any screws or similar left there). Lie face down and reach behind to raise the belt high above your bottom. Swing the belt down, so that the thicker buckle area connec connects ts with your bottom bottom.. Not only does this heavier heavier part of the belt help with your aim, its thicker mass—combined with the laws of gravity—can help to deliver a nicely stinging sensation. Of course, if you already have a good thick belt to hand, this may not be as important. The belt/strap belt/strap is an implement implement where length is important and there is no right answer here either. We don’t like to “double up” the belt. We either use a shorter strap, or use the long belt carefully (holding it 50–70cm from the end for better control), so that the tip meets nicely with the bum from up high. Indeed, although short/mid length straps can be easier, there is something about the unpredictability of a longer strip of leather bearing down on to your arse from up high that adds an extra level of excitement. However, you do need to be very careful with this, as you can end up hitting parts of the body that you would much rather keep away from the strap. Pros: Pros: Nice stinging stinging sensatio sensation, n, with the lovely lovely traditio traditional nal feel of leather against the bare bottom. Can connect with both buttocks at the same time. Cons: Takes a lot of physical and mental effort to get it right. May need to experiment with individual belts and techniques to get the best out of the experience. Poorly controlled swings can cause unintended damage. Pain rating: 7/10
The birch A bundle of leafless twigs bound together. together. One of the punishment punishment classics. Buy one or use your own collection of twigs/branches (suitably disinfected of course). Needs to be longer than a standard birch if you are using the lying down position, but that can
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cause stability problems with the spanking end of the instrument. Pros: There are few sensations to match a good birch connecting with your rear end. Cons: Dulls quite quickly in our view (for self spanking). Expensive or time consuming to prepare. Outcome is very variable. Pain rating: 5/10
The cable What we mean here is the kind of cable that connects video players to televisions, although you can experiment with any type of cord as long as you don’t expect it to deliver top class audioaudio-vis visual ual playback playback the followi following ng day. day. This This is one of the few implem implement ents s where where we recomme recommend nd “doubl “doubling ing up”. This This means means holding both (usually metal/plastic) connecting ends in one hand and bringing the other “U shaped” plastic cord down on to your bottom. Pros: The most fearsome implement we have yet used in self span spanki king ng.. Br Brin ing g one one of thes these e down down smar smartl tly y on your your bott bottom om and you’ll know about it. Unlike some other implements, sensation does not reduce to an unsatisfying numbness within a few strokes. Cons Cons:: Be care carefu full with with your your aim aim as this this can can be diffic difficul ultt to control. Not for those with a low pain threshold. Even we have struggled to whip it down on occasions and would not award ourselves more than a few dozen. Pain rating: 9/10
The cane Traditional instrument of chastisement, chastisement, but can be unsatisfactory and frustrating for self spankers. The choice of cane is important, with a thinner, whippy, stick cane (i.e., no handle) probably best for self spanking. Consider wearing a glove on the hand that will wield the cane, as the backlash can be uncomfortable uncomfortable over time. Not suitable for the standing position. Lie down, raise it above your bottom, and give it your best. Pros Pr os:: Real Really ly nice nice bite bite if you you get get the the strok stroke e righ right. t. Does Does not numb whole buttock area,
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Cons: One of the more difficult instruments. If the cane’s not right, you’ll end up with aching arm muscles, sore thighs (having missed your bum so much) and a generally fed up countenance. Welts Welts can take more time to fade away. Pain rating: 8/10 (but usually falls below potential)
The hairbrush We’re We’re not talking cheap plastic here; we’re talking sturdy and solid wooden brushes. A decent sized handle will give you extra reach reach but is not essenti essential. al. Use the hairbrus hairbrush h to deliver deliver some good hard spanks, particularly on a nice fleshy bottom. Pros: Pros: Easy Easy to use and easy to aim. Decent Decent sensat sensation ion.. Very good option for the ladies, as they can keep it on the dresser for a (wink, wink) dual purpose. Cons: Bottom can feel numb quite quickly with a reduction in feeling. Delivers a more solid thud and a less intense sensation than some other implements. Men tend not to have the required type of hairbrush and may feel they have to buy one and hide it away. Pain rating: 6/10
The hand The spanking instrument you carry everywhere and a traditional punishment tool for centuries. Pros: Safe, easy. A good option for those with a very low pain threshold. Cons: It feels as if you are doing more damage to your hands than your bottom. We’ve tried gloves but still without much real sensation for us. Makes quite a loud noise. Pain rating: 1/10
The paddle A traditional school punishment implement in the US, the paddle’s size and design are often ill suited to self spanking in our view. Lighter ones are ineffective, whilst heavier ones are only worth a shot for body-building body-building self spankers. spankers. If you have one to hand, don’t just take our word for it and by all means give it a 42
try. However, to avoid disappointment, we wouldn’t recommend purchasing one for the purposes of self spanking. Pros: Pros: Solid Solid hit and warmth warmth spreadi spreading ng across a wide wide area if you get it right. Cons: Spreading that warmth may require multiple sessions to the gym and steroid use to develop your arm muscles sufficiently. Area can quickly become quite numb. Paddles can also make quite a loud sound against your bottom. Pain rating: 6/10
The ruler Again, we don’t recommend plastic rulers (lots of noise, no sensation) or metal rulers (lots of damage, no sensation). So it’s back to wood agai again. n. . . . Ah, trees, trees, you are are the lifeblo lifeblood od of our spanki spanking ng enthusiasm. Pros: A good heavy thick (in depth), medium sized (30–50cm length) ruler gives a welcome sharp shock. Cons: Rulers longer than 50cm will be very difficult to control effectively. effectively. Alas, the stationery stationery world seems to have embraced plastic with a vengeance and solid wooden rulers can be difficult to find on the average shopping run. Pain rating: 8/10
The whip Whether using a single cord, or a multi-tailed whip, we feel these are best kept for games with multiple players. Our thoughts on this this are similar similar to what we have said said about the paddle. paddle. If you have one, give it a go, but if you don’t, it’s probably not worth the money to get one. Our apologies to sex shops everywhere. Pros: Pros: Shorte Shorterr whips whips may delive deliverr a nice, nice, low grade stingin stinging g sensation to those with a low pain threshold. Thicker, more solid leat leathe herr whip whips s can can also also be a nice nice tool. tool. Tend Tend to be a bit bit quie quiete ter r than some other implements. Cons Cons:: Ther There’ e’s s lots lots of “par “party ty”” whip whips s out out ther there e that that are are so ineffective you start to think seriously of upgrading to a hand spanking. More serious, longer whips, can be extremely difficult to deliver on target and can cause significant injury (even to the
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face if you’re not careful and certainly to the genitals). Don’t even try bull-whips, or anything of that length. Pain Rating: 6/10
The wire coat hanger Simply take a wire coat hanger, stretch it out until it is one long piece piece of metal, metal, then curl up one end to form a handle handle.. Lightl Lightly y hold it with the handle to the side of your bottom, then flick it back. Pros Pr os:: Chea Cheap, p, ligh lightt weig weight ht and whipp whippy. y. It is easy to stand stand up and deliver a large number of strokes with one hand whilst pleasuring yourself with the other. The cumulative effect of the strokes can deliver a smarting sensation. The wire hanger is also very quiet and can be a good option if you worry about strokes being overheard. Cons: Wire can bend back and need re-shaping, especially if attempting harder single strokes. Impact for individual strokes limited. Pain rating: 6/10
The wooden spoon Every kitchen has one; it’s the implement of instant punishment when there’s nothing else to hand. Capable of a few good swats. Pros: Ease of access and use. Cons: They’re often not strong enough for serious spanking and can be ineffectual and barely felt after the first few hits. Pain rating: 3/10
Other implements Book: Thin, heavy hardback books are an option if there really is nothing else around. The sensation fades quite quickly, thou though gh and, and, let’ let’s s face face it it,, book books s are are for for read readin ing. g. It goes goes without saying that we do not recommend self spanking with a Kindle. . . . Carpet-beater: Looks like a wooden tennis racket with big holes. We We have seen decent spankings given with them, but genergener -
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ally impractical for self spanking and can be difficult to get hold of. Headphone Wire: Gave me a little bit of a sting when I was bored one day, but mostly gave me a rash afterwards. John considers this highly amusing. Ping Pong bat: Maybe the more expensive ones are a bit sturdier, but we could whack our butts all day with the cheap ones and barely notice. Saucepan: More likely to cause damage than sensation. Totally unsatisfying. Slipper/Pump: This is one that disappointed John, primarily because he had had several salacious fantasies about a good slippering. Alas, he found a number of sports shoes, slippers and formal shoes, to be all quite ineffective. He is still searching for the right sole that will give his bottom what it needs. Tennis Racket: Has the right delivery mechanism, but simply bounces off your buttocks with little if any impact. admission n from both both of us here. We have seen Wet W et Towel: An admissio descriptions of wet towels being used in spanking punishment scenarios, but we’re still not at all clear how this is done. We’ve tried it a few times, yet remain flummoxed as to how one is actually supposed to do this.
Wood W ood (other): Almost any wooden instrument can be looked on as a potent potential ial self spankin spanking g implem implement ent.. The key is in the shape and quality of the wood. A clothes brush can deliver a good crack, but is almost impossible to handle effectively. A cheap wooden spatula can be handled well, yet delivers very little sensation.
A final word on. . . the spanking machine Historically, spanking machines were more imagined in cartoons than seen in real life. That has changed slightly in recent years and there are several spanking websites that show videos of poor 45
bottoms being beaten by a rather odd looking mechanical contrapti traption. on. There There are even even vendor vendors s that will sell you one. These These are typically both exorbitantly expensive and severely lacking in portability. We haven’t tried any spanking machines, so we are reluct reluctant ant to commen commentt too harshly. harshly. Howeve Howeverr, we are scepti sceptical cal that the devices we have seen would offer a sufficiently desirable experience to justify the expense, or for that matter, the inevitable loss loss of stor storag age e spac space e in your your home home.. Afte Afterr all, all, a spank spankin ing g mamachine is not like a hairbrush that you can quickly pop into your underwear drawer when your uncle comes to visit. As you will have guessed, the choice of implement is not the only method of heightening the experience. We will therefore now turn to some of the less, mmm, solid ways of enhancing your self spanking exploits.
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Chapter 7
Enhancing the experience There are a number of ways to enrich the self spanking experience. Here are some ideas.
The background scenario We We suppose there are occasions when we just pull up our skirt (or down our trousers) and give ourselves a quick red bottom with a hairbrush. However, we rarely find these self spanking “quickies” to be enlive enlivenin ning g of the spirit spirit,, or indeed indeed of the genital genitals. s. No, we need to have a scenario lodged firmly in the mind and usually a spec specifi ific c numbe numberr of strok strokes es,, thou though gh ther there’ e’s s noth nothin ing g to stop stop the punisher deciding we haven’t been taking the chastisement seriously and adding many more strokes. You’ll You’ll likely already have your fantasy scenario in mind. This will consist of who will be punishing you, as well as how, why, and where they will be doing so. The only limits to this are your own imaginat imagination ion.. Howeve Howeverr, we all get bored of oursel ourselves ves from time to time so we’ve added in a few scenarios for you to consider in the Appendix.
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Deci Decid ding ing on the the seve severi rity ty and and numb number er of strokes The self spanking can be anything from a few slaps with your hand to a multi-implement fantasy session lasting several hours. It will take time for you to judge what works well for you. However, bear in mind what we have said about safety, and also remember this this should should be about about pleasure pleasure and sensatio sensation. n. We’ve e’ve adopte adopted d scenarios where we are due to get a couple of hundred strokes of the belt or cane, but end up bored and giving half-hearted semi strokes just to get the numbers out of the way. We partly blame some spanking fiction for this, as it can describe some truly truly ridicu ridiculou lous s punish punishmen ments. ts. A lower lower number number of stroke strokes s that that deliver good sensation to your bum are better than a high number of ineffectual strokes. Inevitably, someone will suggest a “warm up” spanking here. Effectively this is a practice whereby a person gives themselves (or is given) lower impact strokes initially (e.g., a hand spanking), so that the buttocks are already partially numbed to the pain and more intensive strokes can then be delivered. We suppose the benefit is that longer, more severe spankings can be given. However, if the aim is to deliver sensation (as opposed to damage), we’re not convinced that there is much to gain from a warmup spank spankin ing. g. To the the cont contrar rary, y, numbn numbnes ess s is a self self spank spanker er’s ’s enemy, as this is less easy to overcome than for those delivering punishments to the bottoms of others.
Clothing and body Is there any way to self spank other than on the bare bottom? We don’t think so. However, we won’t completely discount the possibility that some may prefer to spank a silk underwear covered rear, rear, so it’s your preferenc preference. e. In truth, truth, decidi deciding ng on the level level of undressing required can be part of the excitement. Will you have to be naked for this one, or will it suffice for you to just remove your pants? Get into the right scenario and the correct mood and you can still feel a sense of humiliation as you bare yourself for the punishment. After all, even for those with spanking partners, the sense of occasion associated with undressing has often 48
diminished with the daily routine. You You may wish to dress up in a uniform or a specific set of clot clothe hes. s. (Oka (Okay, y, I admi admitt it: I have have spank spanked ed mysel myselff in a chee cheerrleader’s outfit.) Whatever works with the scenario; just do what you can to help get yourself into your fantasy role. You obviously can’t tie up your hands, as how then would you spank yourself? However, you might consider tying your legs together, or maybe using one hand to spank yourself and have the other tied to the edge of the bed. Another option is to wet the bottom, either prior to or during the spanking. This can stop the buttocks becoming numb and increases the level of sensation. John swears by this, though he thinks that cool refrigerated water works better than tap water. Plac Place e a water water spray spray disp dispen ense serr in the frid fridge ge so it’s it’s ready. ready. An interesting water-based sensation is to spank yourself whilst you are wearing soaking wet cold panties or shorts. For me, this takes a lot of preparation and is a bit messy but it can be worth it. Some spankos advocate the use of oils on the bottom to enhance the sting of the spanking. Neither of us are huge proponents, as the sensation (for us) is typically either too little or too much. You can buy readymade spanking oils (just do a web search) or make your own. You would be advised to take great care in mixing mixing your own concoc concoctio tions ns though. though. Also Also be aware of handling irritant items and then touching sensitive areas of the body. John reliably informs me that hot chili being inadvertently transferred to the top of the penis is not a pleasant sensation. Also, chili (which really does burn the tissue) doesn’t seem to come off with simple hand washing, so the best thing to do is jump in the shower, shower, make sure the substance substance is off your hands first and then give everywhere a strong soapy rubdown. For men, a hairy bottom can spoil the effects of a good spanking. ing. Rare Rarely ly,, this this probl problem em can also also affec affectt wome women n too. too. Usin Using g waxing or laser hair removal on the buttocks is a good choice. Men can shave their bottoms, but John tells me that this can be very itchy a few days down the line. Fortunately I’ve never needed hair removal from the buttocks so I can’t attest to this. Nonetheless, I’m not sure that shaving is such a good choice for for wome women, n, as that might might enhanc enhance e the the probl problem em.. To get get deep deep into a scenario, I have shaved my pussy a few times. That can feel very decadent, though I did once cut myself slightly through
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impatience—fortunately not at a particularly sensitive point. You You can increase the sense of ritual in other ways. You could draw target “X”s or a round circle on your bottom, indicating the area to be spanked. Perhaps you might write “slut” or “bad boy” on your buttocks in red pen and then cover this up with the redness of the bottom from a spanking. That is, of course, if you are able to write legibly on your own bottom whilst in erotic contemplation of a jolly fine whacking.
Capturing the emotion It is not all about sex, pain and fantasy. For some, the emotion of a spanking is extremely important and even a good cry may be desirable. If you’re looking for this, then plan your self spanking session carefully so you are relaxed, prepared, and fully engaged with the scenario. Imagination is everything here; let yourself go into the part. After you’ve roasted your bottom, why not give a big hug to a teddy bear, bear, a cat, or a dog? Alternatively, put on some loud music and get swept away by the emotions. A recurring theme in the self spanking discourse is the requirement for a sense of helplessness as part of the session. In truth you may find this emotion difficult to create on a full blown “I’m at your mercy” level, though randomising the punishment (see further below) can give a sense of your not being fully in control control of events events.. Some Some non-sp non-spank anking ing sensatio sensations ns such such as the use of chili, or nettles (see the extra spice section at the end of the chapter) can give a feeling of helplessness as their potency cannot easily be diminished once started. These can be extremely dangerous, though, particularly if you do not take great care, or have an allergy to the substances involved.
Location, location You You need to have a safe, secure place to self spank, as distractions can can easi easily ly spoil spoil the the mood mood.. Not Not ever everyo yone ne has the the luxu luxury ry of an apartment or house to themselves, so you may have to steal those precious times when everyone else is out. We have both tried to self self spank spank with others others present present in a house. house. This This wasn’t wasn’t always always satisfying as we spent more time listening for creaking stairs 50
than than we did did span spanki king. ng. If nois noise e is the the bigg bigges estt probl problem em for for you you (the beating of flesh can make quite a racket) then have some loud music to hand (not too loud or you’ll get visitors due to the noise!), or use a quieter implement such as a wire coat hanger. If you are lucky enough to be able to self spank in other areas, why not stand expectantly for your punishment punishment in the living room, hall, hall, or kitche kitchen? n? You may like like to stand in front of a big mirror mirror in the bathroom, so you can watch your buns turning nice and red. red. If you are very, very, very very lucky, lucky, you may may have have acce access ss to othe other r areas, perhaps an isolated barn where you can bend over some hay and give yourse yourself lf some much much needed needed licks. licks. Indeed Indeed!! More More likely, you will have to make do with what you have and use your imagination. Drat, more work for the poor brain. The experience can be heightened for some people by a fear of discov discovery ery,, be that real real or imagined. imagined. This This truly truly is my “thing”, “thing”, though John would rather self spank in darkness in a sound proof room than risk discovery. I can understand that and I don’t exactly run down the street naked as I flay my poor backside. I wouldn’t want to be discovered in flagrante either, either, and I suppose I don’t run any real risks. I do though sometimes like to just open the window blinds enough to put that fear inside of me. Also, I find that net curtains offer the anticipation that I can be seen, without much fear of actually being viewed. This is particularly the case at night (assuming you don’t turn the light on). When I was much younger, younger, I used to have access to a rooftop area, and I did give myself more than a few spanks on the bare bottom (in perpetual terror of discovery). There is quite something, though, about prostrating yourself in the open air whilst you scorch your naked buttocks with a hairbrush. What you shouldn’t do is deliberately court discovery, especially in a public area. That’s likely to lead to lots of questions and, more likely than not, some sort of court appearance. In particular, never ever risk exposing or revealing yourself to anyone who is not an adult, as that could take you down a very dark and difficult path. This is the case for self spanking, as it is for any other sexual practice.
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Before and after Perhaps you will be forced to stand naked with your hands on your head whilst you think about your impending punishment. Or maybe you will just lie down on the bed, hairbrush perched on your bottom, whilst you write down why you are due to receive a good thrashing. Of course, if the hairbrush were to fall off, that would mean extra strokes. . . . You get our drift, of course. Every good dining experience should have an aperitif. When you have some privacy it is possible to absorb yourself completely in the role and create a deeply erotic prelude to your spanking. Dining is of course incomplete without a dessert, and you should try to prepare the ending to your playtime before your bottom starts to redden. For many the dessert will be a sexual releas release. e. For others, others, that that spoils spoils the essenc essence e of the punishme punishment nt scenari scenario. o. In either either case, some form of “corner “corner time” time” is always always worthwhile. We won’t have to explain this term to spankos, but for any non-spankos reading, this just means spending some time time in contem contempla platio tion n of the spanking spanking you have have receiv received. ed. You don’ don’tt nece necess ssari arily ly have have to have have a corner corner;; we know know thos those e oval oval shaped rooms can be troublesome. You You may wish to add some additional, perhaps painful, features to your corner time. Perhaps you will force yourself to kneel down on some hard peas with your hands behind your back, or sit on a tray containing (clean, not sharp) pebbles. Sometimes, just sitting down on a hard chair, chair, hands above head, can bring spicy discomfort to a well bruised bottom. Some people prefer to perform after-care before their corner time. John finds it a considerable turn-on to look at his antiseptic cream covered bottom. He thinks it is the way the white stickiness intersperses with the reddened, bruised buttocks. On the other hand, I like to stand on my chair with my hands on my head, bottom burning in disgrace, until a timer on my mobile phone releas releases es me. Then Then I clea clean n up, up, do the nece necess ssary ary,, and carry carry on with my life.
Recording the experience You You may wish to have a log of your punishments. Neither John nor I do this, so we don’t know whether whether it is helpfu helpful. l. Howeve Howeverr, 52
some some peopl people e li like ke to do this this.. If you you are are goin going g to, to, we woul wouldn dn’t ’t recommend making this record paper based. We would probably go for a password protected word processor file. John wants me to add “in an encrypted location” here but I think that might be over overki kill ll.. If you’r you’re e as caut cautio ious us as John, John, do a Goog Google le search search on encrypted storage and lots of options will present themselves. One thing that turns some people on is to record their self spanking session and place this on any number of adult websites. Usually, only the bottom (or the body up to the shoulders) is shown. shown. Now, I have conside considered red this on a number number of occasi occasions ons.. Seve Severa rall aspe aspect cts s of this this worry worry me. me. Who Who is watc watchi hing ng? ? I can’ can’t t imagine an ex-boyfriend would be able to spot my bottom from the thousand others online. It would though be just typical for my friends to recognise one of my beautifully patterned rugs. The other point is: how anonymous is your submission? Could your IP address (i.e., the number of your computer connecting to the internet) be logged and the video somehow referred back to you? Of course, if you’re massively turned on by the thought of thousands of people watching you blister your own bottom, then you may not be too fussed about the small risk of detection. Indeed, just typing this, I have decided that I may just be able to cove co verr up my ru rugs gs with with a large large white white shee sheet. t. . . .
Randomising the experience One of the exciting features of self spanking is randomising your punishment. You can randomise implements, strokes, locations, and even your attire. You can also randomise using dice or an online random number generator. Another option that we’ve tried is to write implements and numbers down on a piece of paper, then then pull pull them them out of a hat hat or a tin. tin. Howe Howeve verr, in all of thes these e manual cases, be careful to throw all the paper bits away unless you want other home dwellers or visitors to wonder why there are small pieces of paper with “cane” or “naked across bed” written on them.
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Adding extra spice There are countless ways to add a little extra to the self spanking spanking ritual. These will largely depend on your own sexuality. We have included a few ideas below. However, by no means are we experts in these practices and you will find superior and better informed “how to” guides on the web.
Anal play: There are those who think it is folly to spank the bottom and ignore the anus. You can push something up there and spank yourself, with the sensation of the slapping complement complementing ing the stretching, stretching, tight anal feeling. feeling. Be sure to ensure the device does not go too far in, as a trip to the emergency department may be required to get it back out. Bondage: Perhaps give yourself a good spanking and get yourself nicely restrained. Neither of us have done this, so we can’t comment on whether it’s worth the fuss. Figging: This practice involves inserting a ginger root into the anus, making sure that it cannot get lost up the rectum by carv carvin ing g a “sto “stop” p” sectio section n at the back back.. The The idea idea is that that the ginger provides a deep burning sensation within the bottom. It is reporte reportedly dly a very very nice nice comple complemen mentt to spanki spanking. ng. I’ve I’ve done it a couple of times, but with disappointing results each each time. time. Yes, there was some mild sensati sensation on but I had been expecting to have a fire inside my bottom that would make make my knee knees s buck buckle le.. Oh well. well. My ging ginger er was an odd odd shape and perhaps I didn’t do it quite right. You may have better luck. Nettles: Applying these onto the skin will sting and cause a rash. They seem to be more prevalent in the BDSM community these days, possibly due to the sense of helplessness that we mentioned earlier. earlier. However, However, allergic allergic reactions to nettles can occur and have even been fatal. fatal .1 Vibrator play: Sometimes I will place a vibrator in my pussy and keep it there whilst I lie down for my spanking. Larger vibrators give a sense of being full during the spanking, yet 1 Graham
D. Hammond, et al ., ., “Urtica ferox neuropathy”, Nerve and Muscle 35 (2007), pp. 804–807.
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I prefe preferr the the way way my clitor clitoris is rubs agains againstt the the pill pillow ow.. (it (it is ultimately better when the vagina is empty in my view.) Hopefully we’ve reached the point where you’ve earned yourself a joll jolly y good good thra thrash shin ing g (and (and can can carry carry this this out out effec effecti tive vely ly). ). In many respects, though, this is the easiest part of self spanking. Surviving as a spanko in today’s society requires a little more thought, and this is where we now head.
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Part III
Life As a Spankophile
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Chapter 8
Living in the universe as a self spanker Privacy We We do not reveal ourselves as spanking enthusiasts over polite dinner conversation. In fact BDSM practices are typically secret practices. The reasons for this are not fully understood, though research has suggested that this may be due to feelings that the practices may be regarded as immoral, or that BDSM protagonists may have a desire to be part of a secret subculture. subculture.1 We We think that for most serious spankos the first explanation is correct. Let’s consider the morality issue further. Consensual spanking is not immoral. We have no real desire to provide a detailed self-justification of this here. We live in a world of war, terrorism, famine, disease, murder, child abuse, dignity depriving poverty, corruption, rape, drug dependency, bigotry, racism, homophobia, homelessness, deprivation of liberties, and oppression. If you genuinely think that consensual spanking is one of the big moral issues of our time, then we are confident that our own limited debating skills are not going to shift you from that viewpoint. Both John and I worry about decisions that we have made in our lives and how those choices might have affected other people. We do not lie awake at night fretting about 1 Beverl Beverly y
L. Stiles Stiles and Robert Robert E. Clarke Clarke,, “BDSM: “BDSM: A subcul subcultur tural al analy analysis sis of sacrifices and delights”, Deviant Behavior 32 (2011), pp. 158–189.
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the morality of spanking, though neither are we so smug that we are blind to the negative negative aspects aspects of our “fetish” “fetish”.. (We (We hate hate this this word.) So, if we are so confident that we spankos are not evil, why don’t we “come out” to our friends and families? We could simply say that our sexuality is nobody’s business but our own. That’s neither a morally, nor a legally, defensible position in of itself; we could use that argument to defend paedophilia, for example. We might argue that our spanking sexuality is inherently private and does not impact upon others. We’re not sure that’s strictly true either, as a vast amount of pornographic material is generated to satisfy our sexuality. Indeed, many of us will also have exchanged stories and other comments in a public arena, albeit often under the cloak of anonymity. Our argument argument for privac privacy y is along these lines: lines: Spanki Spanking ng is still perceived as a sexuality that has somehow misfired. In those respects it is similar to how homosexuality was considered many years ago (and, regrettably, as it still is in many countries), yet we believe that being a spanko is different from being gay. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight, is at the core of a person’s identity. It would be difficult to live amongst friends and family without sharing that core identity. However, However, in our view at least, being a spanko relates to some of our innermost sexual desires. A man might openly say he is straight or gay, but he wouldn’t necessarily say that he is into oral sex, or that he is turned on by bare feet. Your friends and families likely wouldn’t share those intimate details with you, so why should you share with them that that you like like having having your bottom bottom beaten? beaten? Unfort Unfortunat unately ely,, even even though it is pretty much guaranteed that everyone has what others might consider an oddball preference during their sexual activities, society is largely scornful of erotic details, and cheap jokes abound aplenty. We We realise that some people see BDSM as a lifestyle choice. We’re We’re absolutely happy if people want to be fully open about their core desires and act out their fantasies as an integral part of their their lives lives.. That That’s ’s the case case for for span spanki king ng as it is for for all all of our our inne innermo rmost st sexual sexual fant fantas asie ies. s. Hey, Hey, we migh mightt all all be bett better er off if we were that open open all all the the time time about about our our sexy sexy secret secrets. s. It would certainly make it easier to find fellow spankos. Alas, for most of us, our innermost sexuality remains hidden. We’re not
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saying that that’s right, but that you should feel no great need to “unburden” yourself by revealing your spanking tastes to those around you. In fact, there is no guilty secret here at all, and there is no need for the world to know your detailed sexual preferences. If you feel the need to mention spanking at all to friends, humo humour ur is like likely ly the best approa approach ch.. I once once spoke spoke to a frie friend nd about my spanking interests. It was no more than a late night admission over a bottle of wine that I liked a man to give me a red botto bottom. m. I was was feel feelin ing g warm and confi confide dent nt and joked joked that that many kids are desperate to avoid what I am desperate to receive. She, in turn, confided that her boyfriend was asking her to do some anal sex play, but she wasn’t yet sure that she wanted to go down that path. path. It was a sexy, sexy, secret secret-sw -swapp apping ing,, late late night night conversation many years ago, and we haven’t discussed it since. We We had known each other for years and had that sort of open, mutually supportive relationship. However, that was a rare red bottom divulgence, and there is simply no need for other people to know know or care care what what get gets me off off in bed. bed. Mmm. mm. That That’s ’s not not entirely true, is it? Someone sharing that same bed might, in fact probabl probably y would, would, disagre disagree. e. So the bigger bigger questi question on is, of course course,, what should you tell your sexual partners?
Self spanking in a relationship If your partner is a fellow spanko, chances are that you’ll spank each other, so you won’t discuss self spanking that often if at all. all. As we discus discussed sed earlier earlier,, self self spanki spanking ng is predomina predominantl ntly y a manifestation of our particular sadomasochistic interests. It is a little like a person saying, “I masturbate”. Yes, we know. Almost everyone masturbates and it isn’t that interesting to talk about in polite company. However, if you have a long distance relationship with a spanko, you can use self spanking techniques via video chat, chat, or via a simple simple teleph telephone one call. call. It can be particul particularl arly y hot to undress in front of a webcam, knowing that you’re going to beat yourself at your partner’s command. Laptops or tablet PCs are best for this, as you can carry them round with you so your partner gets a nicely intimate view, whatever position you take up. If you haven’t talked about spanking with your partner, then we recommend trying to broach the subject at some point. Be
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wary of the impression (easily gained from spanking fiction) that your sexual partner will fortuitously turn out to be a stringent spanko just dying to bare their bottom and either cane you, or be caned by you. In fact it is difficult to calculate the odds of this being the case. Research into this area must be treated with some scepticism and is rarely definitive. However, the prevalence of some level of BDSM engagement (spanking alone is rarely separated out) amongst individuals has been identified to be from a little under two percent to just over ten percent 2 of the general population. That could mean anything from a one in fifty chance that your partner is a fellow spanko to a one in ten chance (not high, yet this could still mean up to 600 million spankos on the the plane planet) t).. That That said said,, part partne ners rs do not not alway always s have have iden identi tica call sexual preferences and, even if they did, there is no guarantee that that sparks sparks would fly. Althoug Although h the odds look poor, poor, there there is a much higher chance that you will find a loving partner who will be tolerant of your spanking desires, even if he or she does not fully share them. That said, real life does not match Hollywood, and things don’t always work out. If you are in a fairly new relationship and haven’t yet discussed spanking, you might consider holding off until you get to know each other better and there’s an established trust. That’s not always the best way, though, as your sex lives can enter a particular pattern, and you may find it difficult to break out of that. Quite a lot of this depends on your personality. John and I are cases in point. I won’t ask someone to spank me until I feel totally trusting of them (always good advice for women). John, on the other hand, feels more inhibited with people he knows well and is more likely to be bolder with someone who is effectively still a stranger. Part of that, he supposes, is that there is more to lose with someone you have an established relationship with. This is particularly so if you have strong feelings towards that person. However, perhaps there is no more to it than I think men 2 See
T. Bezreh Bezreh,, T. Weinber einberg, g, and T. Edgar Edgar,, “BDSM “BDSM Disclo Disclosur sure e and Stigma Stigma Management: Identifying Opportunities for Sex Education”, American Journal of ., Sexual Behavior Sexuality Education 7 (2012), pp. 37–61; Albert Kinsey, et al ., in the Human Female (Philade (Philadelphia lphia:: Saunders, Saunders, 1953); Anne A. Lawrence and Jennifer Love-Crowell, “Psychotherapists’ Experience with Clients Who Engage in Consensu Consensual al Sadomasoch Sadomasochism: ism: A Qualitat Qualitative ive Study”, Study”, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy 34 (2007) (2007),, pp. 67–85; and J. Richet Richeters ers,, et al ., ., Demographic and Psychosoc chosocial ial Featur Features. es. . . ”, op. cit.
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respond well to “kinky” women, whereas John thinks women may be suspicious of men into spanking. spanking. The idea of beating, or being beaten, by someone in a relationship has perilous—albeit utterly misplaced—associations with domestic violence. So how do you tell someone you know well that you’re “in to” spanki spanking? ng? With With courage, courage, with care, care, and with toleranc tolerance. e. Quite Quite often, the easiest way to tackle a potentially difficult or awkward conversation is head on. For partners, the best way is obviously not in the car at the end of a hard day’s work; it is when you are both feeling warm and intimate, possibly already in the midst of some erotic play. I just say to a partner, “You know, I would love it if you gave me a spanking”. Okay, some men give you a few playful slaps and want to move on to other areas. Some are more attentive and simply require a few “harder, harder” cries from me to get it working. If they’re not into it, just carry on with your erotic play and then ask, perhaps in a playful way in the exhausted aftermath, “So you didn’t want to spank me then?” Perhaps they will explain; perhaps not. It may be the case that it is a turn off for them; there could even be underlying fears or frightening memories. Many years ago John gave a few playful spanks to a girlfriend during some bedroom play and was taken aback at how upset the the girl girl became became.. It turned turned out out she she had been been puni punish shed ed by her her step stepfa fath ther er in this this way. She She was was open open to all all sort sorts s of sex acts acts,, but completely closed to spanking. Maybe asking her to spank him may have been an answer—placing the girl in the position of power as the punisher might have been a turn on for her—but I doubt it. The simple fact is that incompatibility between different sexu sexual alit itie ies s does does exis exist. t. Do your your best best to comm commun unic icat ate, e, but but be prepared to either move on or compromise on your sexual desires. You You should also bear in mind that the level of a person’s sexual expe experi rien ence ce will will play a role role here. here. By and and large large,, a fort forty y year year old old with a history of multiple partners is likely to be more receptive to different sexualities than an eighteen year old with his or her first partner. If you can’t broach the idea of spanking with your partner, the chances are that you’re not going to talk about self spanking either. The options are, therefore, to repress your spanking preferences, or to engage covertly with self spanking and other forms of spanking erotica during the relationship. We suppose
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you could always seek a spanking from someone outside of the relationship, but that is arguably a much greater betrayal and brings a deeper burden of guilt and long term risks of discovery. So, it comes down to either withdrawing from spanking, or indulging in the shadows. Let’ Let’s s cons consid ider er the the fir first st of thes these e opti option ons. s. Whet Whethe herr you you can can enjoy a purely non-spanking relationship (we won’t use the term “vanil “vanilla” la”,, simply simply because because we abhor abhor it) is partly partly dependen dependentt on how much of a part part spanking spanking plays in your sexual identi identity. ty. If you simply don’t get turned on, or can’t get an erection at all, from non-spanking activities, there’s little point in pursuing a sexual relationship with a non-spanko (but please see the next chapte chapter). r). If giving giving up spanking spanking is a price price worth paying paying for the man or woman you love, then that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Howeve Howeverr, spanki spanking ng desires desires can be so deeply deeply wired that they are very hard to let go. Just don’t get married and then cry twenty years later because you’ve had a deeply unsatisfying sex life. That’s not doing any favours to you, and it may not be doing much for your prospective husband or wife either. The second option is to have a secret self spanking side life. In fact both John and I have had “conventional” relationships where we have satisfied our spanking needs via self spanking. Neither of us was living with our partners at the time, which of course made avoiding discovery a lot easier. For me, there were always periods of at least two days where I would not see my boyfriend. I have rarely given myself a beating where the marks are still still reco recogn gnis isab able le three three or four four days days afte afterr the the sess sessio ion. n. In fact, most of my punishments with the hairbrush will clear up by the following day. However, John is a much harder self spanker and tends to use deeper biting instruments, such as the cane. Those marks are very difficult to hide in all but long distance relat relatio ions nshi hips ps,, where where meet meetin ings gs are infre infreque quent nt.. If you you want want to conceal your activities from your partner, you may therefore need to moderate your spanking enthusiasm. Strangely, we don’t consider concealment the biggest challenge of having ongoing bottom-beating interests in a non-spanking relationship relationship.. We think the biggest biggest challenge is in maintaining maintaining your desire for conventional sex with your partner. partner. Let’s be honest. honest. If you’re reading this book, there is a good possibili possibility ty that spanking takes you to unparalleled levels of erotic excitement.
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Self spanking is a way you can go deeper into some of your most pussy-dripping or cock-exploding fantasies. It is naturally very tempting to retreat into that world and seek less direct sexual contac contactt with with your your partne partnerr. This This can become become a major major problem problem indeed and ultimately lead to the destruction of your relationship. However, this can be addressed by self-discipline (no, we don’t mean mean that that kind kind). ). For For exam exampl ple, e, you you may may rest restri rict ct your yourse self lf to engaging in spanking play at certain times, perhaps only when your partner is away, or maybe as a special treat once a month or bi-monthly. Nevertheless, it is not difficult to become addicted to something that makes you feel so good. If that is the case, and you feel your future lies with your non-spanking non-spanking partner, partner, perhaps perhaps you should consider withdrawing from the spanking scene.
Self spanking as an individual For those without a partner, the issues are often broadly similar to those within a relationship: discovery and maintaining a sexual balance. Concealing a self spanking lifestyle is obviously easier, particularly within your own home. Undressing in public situations (e.g., at gyms or for swimming) might pose a challenge, but you can always face your bottom away to hide any bruising or marks. Unless you’re going to be naked in a sauna, or getting a full body massage, you won’t exactly be baring your buttocks for more than a few seconds anyhow. In general, this is a bigger problem for women, as we tend to wear underwear, bikinis, and swimming costumes that reveal more of the lower bottom and thighs thighs.. Men’s Men’s shorts shorts usually usually cover cover most most of the buttoc buttocks ks and a portio portion n of the upper upper thighs, thighs, often the lower thighs thighs too. In any case, as long as you retain some vestige of modesty, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Indeed, when we see someone covering up on a sizzling afternoon at the beach, we do sometimes wonder whether their conservative dress is actually because they gave themselves a darn good thrashing earlier in the day. Concealment strategies do of course extend beyond the visible signs on the body. If privacy is important, you should consider where you store implements and any other play items. A hairhair brush can be left in plain sight, but how many people these days use a cane? Internet histories and cookies can be routinely deleted and documents password protected. Even if you are fully 63
open about being a spanko to those in your personal life, you might want to keep an eye on social networking sites if you have both work and personal “friends” looking at your updates. As we mentioned in the relationships section, maintaining a strong sense of balance in your sexuality is challenging, and this can be very difficult if you are single and left to your own erotic devices. devices. This is especially especially so if your conventiona conventionall sexual encounters with others are few and far between. The temptation may be to seek more and more pain and sensation and delve ever ever deeper deeper into the spanking spanking world. Some Some may seek increasincreasingly severe levels of pornography and more brutal punishments. This may be the way you want to live. We certainly don’t set ourselv ourselves es up as judges judges of the “right” “right” lifestyl lifestyle. e. We just just ask that you don’t harm anyone anyone else in the process. If this book is about anything at all, it is about taking responsibility for yourself and the risks associated with your lifestyle. However, be aware that the complete immersion into the spanking world, to the detriment of everything else, may not ultimately be satisfying for you in the long term. Moreover, it can be difficult to step back down if you find a non-spanko partner with whom you wish to share the rest of your years. Strate Strategie gies s to help with steppin stepping g away from the spanking world can be found in the next chapter. We We have tried in this chapter to guide you through some of the pitfalls that we’ve either encountered, or that we’ve seen happen in others. Like many other things in life that give pleasure, self spanking can cause embarrassment, and it can get out of control. Those with a taste for alcohol will understand this perfectly. That said, if your practice is safe and if the power of desire is respected, and if you don’t impose yourself on others, you can have a wonderful world of sensation. In fact, if you are on your own, self spanking offers an extra layer to self pleasure that is simply simply unavaila unavailable ble to non-sp non-spank ankos. os. Above Above all, we say this: this: we don’t know how we entered the spanking highway of this world, but we’re going to enjoy the ride all the same.
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Chapter 9
Stepping back from the spanking world Import Important ant:: If you are feelin feeling g suicid suicidal, al, extreme extremely ly depres depressed sed,, or out-of-control, you should seek specialist help. There are some problems we cannot defeat on our own, and it is neither shameful ful nor nor stup stupid id to seek support support.. We can can only only offer offer our our gene genera rall thoughts on the problem here. We cannot offer specialist psychiatric advice. We We weren’t quite sure whether to write this chapter. chapter. Would you think we were somehow suggesting that spanking is a dysfunction that that needs needs to be overc overcom ome? e? We hope hope that, that, at this point point,, you you appreciate that that is not our view at all. However, some people do need to withdraw from a world of sadomasochism to foster a different life, or because spanking is becoming addictive and dangerous for them. If you do wish to step out of the spanking world, we recommend asking yourself why before you take any further steps. In our experience, “giving up” spanking for a period of time is much easier if there is a specific benefit, or a positive alternative direction that you wish to take. You might feel that your spanking desires are harming your relationship with a girlfriend for whom you care deeply. Alternatively, you may decide that you are addicted to pain in a negative way and want to stop to prevent yourself from becoming seriously injured. We can all understand in such circumstances why that person may wish to change some 65
of their sexual habits. However, some people can feel shameful at having spanking desires and simply want to be “normal”. We’re not sure that that is enough enough.. In those circumst circumstance ances s you may be better off trying to come to terms with your own guilt, be that through counselling, or understanding through books such as these that you are not alone in the world as some crazy deviant. Overall, without a clear and unqualified motivation, you may be wasting your time in trying to effect any significant long-term change. With all of that said, let’s look at a couple of the ways in which you can step back from spanking.
“Cold Turkey” total withdrawal John has tried this in the past (for relationship purposes) with mixed mixed success. success. You simply simply say to yoursel yourselff that, that, from a certai certain n time and date, you will not engage in any self spanking, any thoughts about spanking, or access any spanking pornography. This is of course much easier to do if you’re off somewhere screwing ing the the girl girl of your your dr drea eams ms.. Alas Alas,, just just as alco alcoho holi lics cs have have to pass bars, spankos have to come across spanking images and sugges suggestio tions ns on mainst mainstream ream media. media. Imagine Imagine the scene: scene: You’ve ou’ve had a great week and haven’t thought about bottoms at all. You relax with a nice movie, and suddenly there’s Jessica Alba getting whipped (in Sin City ). ). The twitch (or the wetness) will come, and there’s there’s not a whole whole lot you can do about it. The situat situation ion deteriorates quickly. Yes, Yes, abstinence is great, but that temptation moment will come come for you. It will will not not come come when you are lying lying on a sunn sunny y beach next to a beautiful man or woman, with a delicate breeze gently cooling you. No, it will happen after you’ve had a dreadful day at work. It will happen when you’ve had an argument with a friend friend or partne partnerr. It will happen happen when when you’re you’re feeling feeling ugly or inadequate. In short, it will happen when you are vulnerable. Of course, if you’re strong, you won’t succumb to temptation. However, as we’ve said, it won’t happen when you’re strong. And you will just start to rub and play, or get your cock out and start to strok stroke e it. it. Just Just a litt little le.. And then then you will will take take a quic quick k look at a span spanki king ng stor story y webs websit ite. e. And then then you you will will see see how many new and brilli brilliant ant stories stories there are. And what new tantal tantalisi ising ng 66
spanking videos there are. And the masturbation will suddenly become more urgent, furious even. And you will fit in a paroxysm of pleasure, pleasure, or spurt spurt your cum to the ceiling. ceiling. And you will feel so good at that moment that you must do it just once more. And that that will be the the begi beginn nnin ing, g, but but not not the the end. end. After After all, ther there e is no desire quite like a desire that has been left to rage internally, unfulfilled, for weeks, months, or even years. We We think you will get our point here. Abstinence can be a wonderful thing, yet is incomparable to the magnificence of succum succumbin bing g to temptati temptation. on. This This is not to say that that going going “cold turk turkey ey”” won’ won’tt work work for for you. you. Give Given n a low low stres stress s envi environ ronme ment nt and distracting interests in other areas, this could be a way of withdrawing withdrawing from the spanking scene. However, However, the battle will be a lifelong one, just as with a drug addict. Any engagement with spanking could lead to you going “off the wagon” at any moment.
Fantasy re-direction Our own recommendation for moderating spanking interests is to use fantasy re-direction based on masturbatory reconditioning. Now, Now, let let us be clea clearr, this this is a much much deba debate ted d subj subjec ectt and and is typica typically lly used used in more extrem extreme e settin settings. gs.1 Howeve Howeverr, this this has been very helpful for John in particular (for a non-spanking relationship), and we feel some could benefit from the technique. This idea is this: get yourself comfortable and begin a session of masturbation by fantasising about spanking. Also, try to find images, videos or stories of non-spanking, conventional sex themes with men or women that you find attractive and engaging. When you reach the point close to orgasm (when you are highly aroused) switch to watching the non-spanking pornography. Focus only on those themes and continue to orgasm. If you start 1 See
Anthony R. Beech and Leigh Harkins, “DSM-IV paraphilia: Descriptions, demographics and treatment interventions”, Aggression and Violent Behavior 17 (2012), pp 527–539; Nadine Campell-Fuller and Leam A. Craig, “The use of olfactory aversion and directed masturbation in modifying deviant sexual interest: A case study”, Journal of Sexual Aggression 15 (2009) (2009),, pp. 179–191 179–191;; D. R. Laws and W. L. Marshall, “Masturbatory reconditioning reconditioning with sexual deviates: deviates: An evaluative review”, Advances in Behaviour Research and Therapy 13 (1991), (1991), pp. 13–25; and Anthony R. Beech, Leam A. Craig, and Kevin D. Browne, eds., Assessment and Treatment of Sex Offenders: A Handbook (Chichester: John Wiley and Sons, 2009).
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to become less aroused, and won’t achieve an orgasm, then return to the spanking themes and start over again. This process should be continued at each masturbation session, reducing the time spent on spanking themes on each subsequent occasion (though there is no need to stand there with a stopwatch). Try then to have whole masturbation sessions with the non-spanking imagery. You You can probably work out the basics of the approach: the idea that sexual pleasure and climax become associated with nonspanking themes. We don’t advocate the negative reinforcement of spanking as “bad” (e.g., by associating foul smells with spanking images), simply because we don’t think spanking is bad. It is one thing to help to increase your pleasure in non-spanking erotica; it is quite something else to suggest that spanking is somehow inappropriately deviant. There is a suggestion that such an approach may work less well in some cases, particularly for women. This is because sexual activity prior to orgasm is reinforcing and also because not all ladies will experience orgasms on a reliable basis. 2 This is why we feel it is important to reduce the length of the spanking fantasies on each occasion, so the significant body of the mastur bation session is focused on non-sadomasochistic themes. We chose those last two words carefully. John reports that an early temptation of his was to avoid spanking themes, yes, but to visit pornogra pornography phy associ associate ated d with with exhibi exhibitio tionis nism, m, hard and painfu painfull anal sex, humiliation or non-consensual themes. He recognises that he was effectively looking for some of his spanking fetishes (punishment spanking without consent, pain, forced stripping, embarrassment from the experience) without actually engaging in spanking pornography. It is best to avoid these altogether in favour of “softer” sexual experiences. As we said before, sexuality is complex and multi-faceted. Find an aspect of your sexuality that is enjoyable outside of spanking and use that as a beginning. For John, he began to enjoy viewing “amateur” oral sex videos (the (the saucy saucy devil). devil). Several Several of those those videos videos conclu concluded ded with con ventional sex within the scenario, which he also masturbated to. He began to enjoy the non-spanking masturbation sessions as 2 J.
Paul Fedoroff, “Treatment of Paraphilic Sexual Disorders”, in D. L. Rowland and L. Incrocci, eds., Handbook of Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders (New Jersey: John Wiley and Sons, 2012), pp. 563–574.
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much as the sadomasochistic ones, more in some cases because so much of the material was new for him. John presently has a fulfilling non-spanking sex life. He still enjoys spanking as much as before, and does indulge in self spanking from time to time. However, he rarely allows himself to climax to a sadomasochistic scenario. That has proven to be the answer for him. I, on the other hand, am more than happy with my spanking desires. They’re controlled, and they don’t stop me from enjoying my life life or taking taking pleasure pleasure in other other sexual avocatio avocations. ns. I neithe neither r feel the wish nor the need to change who I am. That said, John has visited darker and more intense spanking places than I have, so I can understand why he has on occasions wished to take a step back. Whether this is the case for you, only you (and your bottom) can know for sure.
The End of Our Journey How are you feeling now? Are you looking through the mirror at your freshly spanked buttocks, still glowing hot with the chastisement that you have inflicted upon them? Are you sitting on a hard chair as your newly fashioned bruises press against the hard wood? Perhaps you are smearing antiseptic cream on harsh cane marks? During the writing of this book we have both been thinking a lot about pain. We have lain awake at night worrying whether we will be bringing yet more of this into the world. Should a book promote people beating themselves? We can’t anticipate the reaction to our words. We’re confident that most spanking spanking enthusi enthusiast asts s will will apprec appreciat iate e that that we’ve we’ve attemp attempted ted through through the chapte chapters rs to promote promote height heightene ened d pleasu pleasure re and desire desire,, as well well as incr increa ease sed d self self-k -kno nowl wled edge ge and awaren awarenes ess. s. As for for the the less less spanking-oriented, we can only hope we have offered you a better insight into our world and that you leave feeling perhaps a little more interes interested ted in your your own sexuali sexuality. ty. To all readers readers we hope hope that you have found this book enjoyable and informative. Please continue to enjoy your interesting sexuality in a safe and responsible way. We We will leave you now to go and think about our own bottoms. This isn’t quite the end, though, so flick through our Appendix to 69
see if there are any interesting scenarios that you can immerse yourself in. For now, both John and I wish you the happiest of spanking times.
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Appendix A
Possible Fantasy Scenarios We’ve We’ve included a few unusual scenarios below to help your imagination along. We have mostly not allocated either the number of strokes or the implement, as you can select these for yourself (or use a randomising tool). You can turn any of the scenarios into soft or harder punishments depending on your pain tolerances or just on how you feel at the time. We have indicated whether the punisher is primarily a man or woman and whether the receiver is male or female, although these again can be changed. In particular, you don’t have to imagine during your self spanking session that the person punishing you is the same sex as you! None of the characters involved (e.g., girlfriend) have to be real (it is fantasy). Some of the scenarios are based on the premise that you are spanking yourself. We have also added a few “play tips” suggestions for each on how you might enhance your experience.
Bad boyfriend Punisher: Female Receiver: Male Your Your girlfriend is extremely upset at your unacceptable attitude during last night’s party. You ignored her throughout the evening and even flirted with other girls. Today you are going to
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pay for it with a spanking. She’s thought about it all night and has made her mind up. Yes, she did say a spanking and a darn severe one at that. She doesn’t care what you think of the idea. If you want to stay with her, you are going to have to take a good thrashing. You embarrassed her in front of her friends and now she’s going to humiliate you. So get those trousers down, right now! Play tips: Dress casually, use everyday spanking implements. Touching yourself during the punishment gets your girlfriend even angrier and increases the severity of the spanking.
“Bad” girlfriend Punisher: Male Receiver: Female What do you have to do to get that man to spank you? Last night in bed you wanted a good hiding and he gave you two playful taps on your rear before plunging his penis into you. Okay, that bit was fun, but you needed so much more. Typical man. Okay, you will just have to spell it out for him. He isn’t listening (perhaps (perhaps he needs a spanking), so you will write down exactly what you need need.. He’s He’s gone gone to watc watch h the the game this this afternoo afternoon. n. When When he come comes s back back,, he will will see see the the note note with with your your inst instru ruct ctio ions ns.. You will, of course, be waiting in your bedroom, bottom bared and awaiting his chastisement. Just bear in mind, though, that men are not keen on reading instruction manuals. He may just decide to take take a DIY DIY approa approach ch to your your spank spankin ing. g. . . . Play tips: Write the note!
Barista Barista mind-contr mind-control ol Punisher: Self Receiver: Self You You go to the coffee shop on the corner every day, without fail. Hey, you like coffee! Okay, so there is that one cute barista that gives you a lovely smile every time you go here. That really makes your day. No, it’s more than that. There is a deep look too. It feels as if there is a real connection.
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You You were running late this morning and didn’t get your daily coffee shop fix. You’ve had a bad day at work and you regretfully pass pass the closed closed coffee shop on your your way home. Sudden Suddenly ly you stop stop.. The The shop shop light light is on and your barist barista a is there there!! Perh Perhap aps s they they’v ’ve e chan change ged d the the open openin ing g time times? s? In any case case a hot hot coffe coffee e would go a long way to relieving your mood. You You enter the store and you become aware that there is only you and the barista in the shop. The barista stares at you intently whilst handing you your coffee. Your mind goes strangely blank. Calmly, the barista walks to the store door, turns the “open” sign over to “closed” and switches off the lights. You take a sip of your warm coffee and choose a comfortable comfortable chair. chair. It does not seem odd to you that the store is in near darkness. Nor does it seem odd when the barista comes and stands next to you and you begin to remove your own clothes. What! Suddenly you are standing there in your underwear. A sense of deep humiliation comes over you, yet you have no idea why you have taken off your clothes. Suddenly, your embarrassment deepens. You are removing your own underwear! The barista is unconcerned at your nakedness and simply hands hands you an implem implement ent.. Now you are spanking spanking yourself yourself with this this,, your your bott bottom om glow glowin ing g the the same same colo colour ur as the the chee cheeks ks on your face. The barista smiles and watches intently. After many minute minutes s of spanking spanking there is shouti shouting ng outside. outside. The barista barista is startled and it seems a connection is broken. You start to regain your senses and quickly get dressed. Shocked, you leave the store. The barista moves away, unworried. You will be back for more coffee. Play tips: Make sure you enjoy the coffee beforehand.
Beached bum Punisher: Any Receiver: Any Your Your boat was caught up in a powerful storm and you were adrift for many days in a small lifeboat. Fortunately you washed up upon a warm and lovely island, with plentiful food and a stre stream am from from whic which h to drink drink.. You are are all all alon alone e and, and, as days days turns to weeks, weeks, you settle settle into into a gentle gentle routine. routine. You have only only the clothes that you were wearing at the time of the storm, so 73
you do not bother to hide your modesty. However, However, it turns out that this island is neither uninhabited nor bereft of social conf conform ormit itie ies. s. Upon Upon thei theirr disc discov over ery y of you, you, the the isla island nder ers s are furious that you have soiled their paradise with your decadent ways. You are captured and pushed down onto the rough sand of the beach. Leaves are placed over every part of your body except your buttocks. The islanders then takes turns to ensure that you are soundly soundly thrash thrashed ed for your immode immodesty sty.. Now rescue cannot cannot come soon enough. Play tips: Great if you have a big sand pit, but most will have to make do with some tropical sounds.
Big brother is watching you Punisher: Self Receiver: Self After a great financial crash, society descended into chaos and democr democracy acy collapse collapsed. d. Your country country is now subject subject to a harsh harsh dict dictat ator orsh ship ip inte intent nt on resto restori ring ng publ public ic order order at any cost. cost. All All laws are initiated by an imposing leader whose primary policy to date has been the re-introduction of corporal punishment for all citizens citizens.. Howeve Howeverr, as the state does not have the resourc resources es to punish most minor infractions, all citizens have to undertake their their own chastisem chastisement ent.. Failure Failure to comply comply means immediat immediate e transfer to a cold and unforgiving penal colony. You You have broken the law and you must now punish yourself. You You will establish a live video link with the “protectors” (whose job it is to oversee punishments). You will strip naked before them and you will spank yourself as ordered. If you do not beat yourself hard enough, you will be allocated more spankings. Be warned: if your buttocks are not sufficiently red, the protectors will call on you. Play Play tips: Spank Spank yourself yourself in front of a webcam webcam.. Record Record the session and play it back later for more fun.
Fesser = to spank Punisher: Female Receiver: Any 74
Your Your boss has instructed you to learn French for an important important Paris based client. You are hopeless at foreign languages and can barely manage more than a few sentences without breaking down. Your Your boss therefore sends you to an expensive private tutor with an outsta outstandi nding ng reputat reputation ion for achiev achieving ing amazin amazing g results results.. The course is paid for in full by your company, with your job being dependent on its successful completion. Your Your tutor is a petite spectacled French lady who is as strict as she is charming. If your efforts displease her, Madame simply takes you over her knee and spanks your bare bottom mercilessly. This shocked you deeply at first. However, However, your skills in French have shown tremendous improvement and, after the initial em barrassment, you have learned to respect the chastisements. You You arrive for your fifth session to find that Madame has broken her arm. You are of course sorry for her, yet you are relieved that that your your buttoc buttocks ks will will be spared spared further further pain. pain. Unfortu Unfortunat nately ely,, you make many mistakes during the session and Madame decides that she will need some assistance with your spanking: from from you! you! She She hands hands you you the the hairb hairbrus rush h and and inst instru ruct cts s you you to spank your own bottom. This is difficult at first. However, under Madame’s severe guidance, you begin. “Un, “Un, deux deux,, trois trois,, quatr quatre. e. . . .” Play Play tips: tips: Count Count out loud loud in French as you spank yoursel yourself. f. After you know them by heart, try using other words to represent the the coun count. t. Befo Before re you you know know it your botto bottom m will will be spea speaki king ng anot anothe herr lang langua uage ge.. . . .
Future imperfect Punisher: Any Receiver: Any All technology has failed and advanced civilisation has been destroyed. Only a remnant of survivors remains, living in small farming communities. Everyone must work to survive. Sloppiness and laziness are punished swiftly and effectively. Unfortunately, you failed to close the chicken pen last night and the local foxes have taken several of the chickens. The leader takes you to the barn where you are stripped, tied up and thoroughly spanked for your carelessness.
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Play Play tips: tips: Secu Secure re your your legs. legs. Use Use simp simple le instrum instrumen ents ts that might be available in a low technology setting.
Landlady’s three strikes Punisher: Female Receiver: Any You’ve You’ve managed to find a great place to stay, with unbelievable unbelievable rent, and it’s convenient for everything you want to do. The only set back is that your apartment is across the hall from your stuffy landlady, who has rules about everything. In fact she’s been on at you twice twice already already about about your music. music. Hey, Hey, so you like like some some loud sounds? What’s the problem? The problem is that your tall, domineering landlady does not. She She also also does not like like to repeat repeat hersel herselff for for a thir third d time time.. You either leave her apartment right now or you take a good spanking for your selfish selfish behaviou behaviourr. You can’t can’t believ believe e your your ears ears and are simply stunned into silence. You have never been punished with a spank spankin ing. g. Frank Frankly ly you you are embarr embarras asse sed d and and a litt little le scare scared d at the prospect, but on the other hand you don’t want to leave. Perhaps if you look contrite enough and charm the old bag, she’ll back down. Unfortunately Unfortunately for you, your landlady landlady takes this pause for contempl contemplati ation on as tacit tacit agreeme agreement nt of her plan. She roughly roughly turns you around and starts to undo your belt. Before you can react, she has bared your bottom. She pushes you down on the sofa and you hear her take something out of her handbag. You are totally mesmerised by her and just lie there, half naked, half open-m open-mout outhed hed too, yet not utteri uttering ng a sound. sound. That That will will change change soon enough. Play tips: Put some loud music on before the spanking.
Neanderthal life Punisher: Male Receiver: Any A Neanderthal man has returned from a disappointing hunt to find that you have not prepared his meal. He roars with rage and takes up a stick to express his anger on your pre-historic bottom, stripping off your minimal garments and pushing you 76
over a cold rock. Perhaps historically inaccurate, but good fun nonetheless. Play tips: Have dark, minimal light at home to simulate a cave. Perhaps use a flickering candle. Dress in minimal (fake!) furs.
Servant’s inn-capacity Punisher: Any Receiver: Any It is the eighteenth century. You are a servant to a powerful and much-feared gentleman, who has a well-deserved reputation for for br brut utali ality ty.. You have have heard heard many many stor storie ies s of spank spankin ings gs and and know that you could not bear these yourself, so you decide to return return to your family family in the the north northern ern count country ry.. You leav leave e the the gentleman’s mansion before dawn and begin your escape. Many miles into your journey you stumble across an inn. You give the owner some precious coins so that you may have a meal and a threadbare room for the night. You You are sipping some cold cabbage soup as the inn door is flung flung open. open. Your master master enters enters with the head head servant servant and the keep keeper er of the the stab stable les. s. They They see see you you at once once and and the the mast master er proclaims loudly, “What have we here? This wretched scoundrel dare dares s to run away away!! You will will need need to be taug taught ht a less lesson on,, and and there there is indeed indeed no time like the present. present.”” Everyo Everyone ne in the inn shouts in agreement, for they dare not oppose the gentleman. You You are forcefully stripped and held by the head servant and keeper keeper whilst whilst the master master rolls rolls up his sleeves sleeves.. There There are jeers jeers and whistles as you are exposed and spanked. Alas, for you, the master has you in his sights, and this is likely to be only the beginning of his cruelty. . . . Play tips: Why not put on a servant’s uniform and use a video site to find some jeering to play in the background? Also works just as well with a strict lady of the manor. manor.
Swimming pool rules Punisher: Any Receiver: Any
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You You could not resist that final leap into the pool, even after the whistle had blown for the end of the swimming session. Most regrettably, you are faced with a lifeguard who is enraged by your actions. You are dragged out of the pool and immediately given a spanking over your swimwear swimwear.. However However,, the lifeguard lifeguard is now dragging you to the locker rooms and you fear that your ordeal in not yet over. Play tips: Put the swimwear on and make yourself nice and wet (mmm) for this particular pool punishment.
Tribal whipping Punisher: Any Receiver: Any You You are due to undergo a “Wp’sha” ceremony that qualifies you to marry and give orders to those that have not undertaken this rite. As part of the ritual you must disrobe and submit to a floggin flogging. g. You are not to show pain at any point, point, as this this would indicate that you have not yet learned the courage necessary to become a leader. leader. You will rejoice at each of the blows! Play tips: Dress up as a warrior and play some tribal sounds in the background!
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