1
Welcome Welcome to this stylish journey, m’dear! dear! We’re We’re headed down a path to better understanding ourselves. Both who we were, and who we want to be today and beyond; why we’ve we’ve bought what we’ve bought, and what we want to bring into our lives from here on out to best represent ourselves. And we’re on a path to better understanding the science of style -- principles that can empower us on a whole new level. You’ll You’ll hear me say often of ten that I don’t believe in style s tyle rules, only style st yle principles. Rules change. Rules can be broken. Rules can’t apply to all people in all scenarios. But principles are timeless, universal. Tey’re the foundation. And I �rmly believe you’ll take away ideas and inspiration from our journey together that will be informing your style choices a decade from now.
Before we get started, s tarted, here’s here’s what to expect: Each chapter of the Style & Styleability St yleability Workbook, Workbook, your roadmap through this journey, journey, touches on these four areas: Get Clear: Re Clear: Re�ections on who you are and where you’re at in life. Get Organized: Making Organized: Making our closets c losets a place we can get creative, break our bad habits, and uncover data about our own personal style to clear c lear clutter while increasing clarity c larity and creativity. Get Savvy: Video Savvy: Video classes from the Dean Street Studio covering fundamental style principles. Get Creative: Y Creative: Your our chance to play and take your style to the next level, with weekly feedback from moi, your personal stylist, and one another. 2
Welcome Welcome to this stylish journey, m’dear! dear! We’re We’re headed down a path to better understanding ourselves. Both who we were, and who we want to be today and beyond; why we’ve we’ve bought what we’ve bought, and what we want to bring into our lives from here on out to best represent ourselves. And we’re on a path to better understanding the science of style -- principles that can empower us on a whole new level. You’ll You’ll hear me say often of ten that I don’t believe in style s tyle rules, only style st yle principles. Rules change. Rules can be broken. Rules can’t apply to all people in all scenarios. But principles are timeless, universal. Tey’re the foundation. And I �rmly believe you’ll take away ideas and inspiration from our journey together that will be informing your style choices a decade from now.
Before we get started, s tarted, here’s here’s what to expect: Each chapter of the Style & Styleability St yleability Workbook, Workbook, your roadmap through this journey, journey, touches on these four areas: Get Clear: Re Clear: Re�ections on who you are and where you’re at in life. Get Organized: Making Organized: Making our closets c losets a place we can get creative, break our bad habits, and uncover data about our own personal style to clear c lear clutter while increasing clarity c larity and creativity. Get Savvy: Video Savvy: Video classes from the Dean Street Studio covering fundamental style principles. Get Creative: Y Creative: Your our chance to play and take your style to the next level, with weekly feedback from moi, your personal stylist, and one another. 2
Plus a bonus section: Get Inspired: Extra goodness each week if you want to dive deeper into the topics and ideas.
I recommend that you read the Style & Styleability S tyleability Workbook on your computer. computer. Te document is very interactive with an extensive amount of links throughout, and I think you’ll want to be able to click through to read and watch as you go. However, when it comes to recording your answers, you might prefer one of two ways. If you’d like to type t ype them, download Adobe Reader where Reader where you can open the workbook and type into the spaces provided. Or, Or, print out the workbook and grab a pen to muse in those journaling spots. I will often of ten encourage you to share your answers within the t he Treehouse Treehouse of Trust. Trust. So it’s it ’s up to you if you’d like to write freely with a pen and then share s hare later in the group, or copy and paste to share more easily right away.
Make sure that you get the most out of each chapter by taking action. Tis �rst week, give yourself two hours and see how that feels. You might � y through style challenges or really hit a wall. Organizing your closet might lead to a rush of energy energ y to organize your desk as well, or you you might knock it out in ten minutes and move on. What’ What ’s most important to me -- as someone who wants you to get the most value and deepest education you can -- is that you don’t just read the workbook, watch the video and move on. Take Take action. Get every ounce of feedback out of me that you can. And experience how incredible it is to be on a journey in community with the Treehouse Treehouse of Trust. Trust.
Do me a favor and open up your calendar right now. First, put both Wednesday Wednesday live calls on your calendar each week, or the one you know you can make. Ten,
put the Tuesday Tuesday night deadline to t o post challenge c hallenge photos/RSVP for which live call you’ll receive your feedback on.
3
Finally, schedule those two hours. Is it 30 minute increments during nap-time? Your lunch break twice this week? Or a wonderful Saturday afternoon date with yourself? After this week, you may �nd you needed less time, but this �rst week I want you to make sure you give yourself the space to make the most of this experience. You, your style, your con�dence, your creativity, are worth prioritizing. You’ve been getting dressed for 20 ... 40 ... 60 years? You have a lot of habits ingrained in that pretty little head of yours! Use this class as your accountability to shake things up, get out of ruts, stretch your creativity and blossom. I promise that � ve weeks from now you’ll feel a little lighter, a little brighter and a lot more inspired about that massive investment of �nances, space and time known as your wardrobe. C.S. Lewis was onto something. It really is pretty magical what all is hiding inside the wardrobe. Let’s get started.
4
Te
big question I always want to know is this: Who do you want to be three years from now?
Not three months, where you’re scrambling to lose those last 10 pounds or striving to reach that big sales goal you set. Not 10 years when, let’s be honest -- 10 years ago did you think you’d be where you are now? We all probably got a few guesses wrong back in 2004! But three years. Far enough ahead to dream big, close enough to see it coming to life. Tere's
the old adage, "Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.” People make a visual assessment of you within the �rst 7 seconds {7 seconds!} they meet you. And you have the power any day to change that perception; to shift their way of thinking. Shift it consistently and you'll fundamentally change the way people see you showing up in the world. I want to repeat that.
Te
fact that people make a subconscious judgement when they see us should not instill fear or pressure. It should instill excitement and empowerment! You have the power to in � uence how you’re seen and perceived. You’re in control. And over the next � ve weeks we’re going to get more clear about the tools at our disposal to write our own visual stories. I talk to my clients a lot about the power of playing mind games. Te more you come to understand style, the more empowered you become, and the more in control of what others perceive about who you are.
5
And that old “dress for the job you want ” adage? It goes beyond your job. My friends know that I'm obsessed with my job. I love what I do! But our jobs never fully de�ne us. Tey’re only one part of our life vision. I want you to dress for the life you want. So I'd like you to muse:
Q: Who do you want to be three years from now? Where do you want to be living? In what kind of house? With who in your life? What does your ideal day like? What job are you doing? How else do you spend your time? { Te box below is your space to answer!}
6
And now my second favorite question: How do you want to feel? One of my business mentors, Danielle LaPorte, LaPorte, asks this often. Her belief is that we often focus too much on goal setting. Ten when we get what we want ... we're not happy. Because it doesn't the way we thought it was going to. It turns out that goal, was not our answer to happiness. feel the So instead, we should start with how we want to feel, and then work backwards to �gure out what will get us there. I love that. Love. Love. Love. But I also love applying it to how we dress. We We could all put on a striped dress and feel f eel very diff erently. erently. You might feel Parisian, she might feel ‘60s, I might feel sophisticated and someone else might feel �at-out uncomfortable. Te answer is never going to be in one perfect dress. And one perfect dress is not going to give us all the same answer. Terefore
I don’t want to know which piece would make you feel _____. I want to know how you want to feel, and then we’ll get to which items will get you there. Rather than asking you to describe desc ribe what your ideal style is, I'd love for you to ponder: {Note: You You answered very similar Qs to this in the second video in 3 Steps to Simpli ed Style. My advice � ed would be to do this exercise again below. Ten pull out your Style Cheat Sheet and compare your answers. Perhaps you felt di ff erently doing it at morning versus night, or thought of something one time you forgot the other oth er.} .}
Q: How do you want to feel? How do you want to feel on your best day? Walking Walking out the f ront door in the morning? Into a big meeting? Running into someone unexpectedly? Climbing into bed at night? On vacation? On an average Tuesday? Tuesday? In your best life?
7
Who you are, who you you want to be, and how you want to feel is what makes you uniquely you. Because I'm not interested in a coterie of bettys wearing striped dresses. Tis
journey is about a tribe of radiant, shining, wildly diff erent erent women showing up as the best version of themselves.
Tis
week, keep mulling over the two Qs above. Tey’re big, life-long questions. You can change your answers anytime. You probably will. But for now, they’re a marvelous portal to start down this path of discovering what “you” looks like. I for one can c an’t ’t wait to see! Make It Happen: Now Happen: Now head over to the T the Treehouse reehouse of Trust Trust and and share your answers to the two Qs above. Tere’s ere’s great power in speaking something into being, in saying it aloud. Plus, every time I do, I humbly realize that I might inspire someone s omeone else, spark an idea in them, or give them the courage to share. Together everyone achieves more, eh?
Over the next � ve weeks I want to help you see your closet in a new way, way, and take to the next level the exercise we began in the 3 Steps to Simpli�ed Style series Style series with my Ribbon and Record trick. Each week we’ll go deeper on this concept, getting more clear on your options on how to organize your closet and expanding to other areas of our wardrobe. Tis
week we're going to start with your hanging items.
I recommend that my clients hang as many items of clothes as they can. While we usually all have a chest of drawers somewhere, it's the items that are hanging in plain view that are the easiest to see, s ee, get get inspired by and take advantage of. Te pieces that are tucked away often get overlooked and therefore not put to as good of use. Out of site, out of mind, right? Or, we only wear the top one or two folded items and forget about all those bottom options. Sounds silly, silly, but it’s just �at out not as easy to pull something from the bottom of a stack, try it on, change your mind, fold it and shove it back in there! Hangers just make things easier, and and when it’s easier you’re you’re more likely to play. play. Personally, Personally, I now hang not only my tops and skirts, but my jeans! I realized I was only ever wearing the top two pairs because they were on a high shelf and I never wanted to dismantle the whole stack. Now Now they’re all equally accessible and I can easily add them into my ribbon rhythm to see which ones I’m not wearing.
8
Please note some of o f the below may mean purchasing new hangers, so this is not something you need to do right away if you’re you’re on a budget. Order these on Amazon right r ight now, now, or commit to this being the vision of your closet you’re you’re getting to over o ver the next year. year. Progress, Progress, not perfection.
Step One: Consider One: Consider if you have any tanks, tees, long-sleeved tops that you could put on a hanger. hanger. Perhaps this means going out and purchasing another pack or two of hangers at your local drug store. I think that's worth it as you can get 24 hangers for the price of one top, and I promise you'll wear all the tops you have more, if they're right in front of you. {As an aside, I personally love these hangers from Amazon. Amazon. Tey’re thin so they save a little space, the velvet helps tops to slip less than plastic, the rivets are helpful for thin straps s traps and since my closets are open in my studio, they look far more chic than white hangers. But in the past I’ve bought packs of hangers at the dollar store to give myself more storage for � ve bucks.}
Step Two: Commit wo: Commit to having only one item per hanger. Again, if we don’t don’t see things in our closet, we’re we’re unlikely unlikely to wear them. And the time it takes to get to the bottom layer dissuades us from getting creative and giving it a try. You’re ou’re an artist ar tist who wants all your tools laid out at your disposal. Tis could mean having to buy more hangers. Or realize our ribbon trick is a godsend because you have too many clothes to �t and need to clear the clutter.
Step Tree: Nix multiple item or attached hangers. As you start to see the Ribbon Trick Trick at work, you’ll you’ll understand why this is so helpful. I used to have four-six item hangers like this one. one. But once you wear a skirt you can’ c an’t put it behind the ribbon ... unless you’ve managed to wear four skirts in one day. Plus, they’re harder to work with and I think that extra eff ort ort can dissuade us when we’re sleep-deprived, late and trying tr ying to cobble together a new out�t. Just all around un-graceful and impractical. So I’ve switched my closet c loset all over to individual interlocking hangers like this one instead. instead . Game changer. c hanger.
Step Four: T Four: Try ry organizing your hanging clothes by color. Tis
can get rid r id of visual clutter c lutter,, helping helping you to truly see and remember what you have. Unless you're slightly obsessive like me, this doesn't have to stay perfect! But if you do it from time to time it will reacquaint you with what you have and hit the refresh button on the screen grab in your brain of what's in your closet.
9
Plus, it can lead to some easy ah-hah moments like, “Wow, I only own blue. Temporary hold on more blue items! ” Personally, I don’t organize my clothes by type. All my tanks, tees, blouses are hung together and only organized by color. Tat works for me. But if you’re used to heading to a certain section for your work blouses and button-downs each morning, then by all means keep them organized by type, and then by color within each type. Since my closet goes left to right, I think of the rainbow from left to right: white, tan, pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, brown, grey, black Don’t let perfection hang you up {no pun intended}! Tis is just a way to get some fresh eyes for what we have. And a rainbow of color always makes this girl happy.
Watch secret #1 below with the password “secret_one”:
10
For a second look at the pieces and ensembles featured in this video class: • How those jeans �t me vs Molly the Mannequin • Another spin on the cardigan with an otherwise unremarkable out�t. •
Te
blue dress and silk scarf
• My blue necklace as a remarkable detail •
Te
little black dress with those accessories on the blog
Now it’s your turn: Q: What are 10 ways or pieces you could add something remarkable to your out �ts or from your closet?
A 11
Next watch secret #2 with the password “secret_two”:
For a second look at the pieces and ensembles featured in this video class: •
Te
polka dot blouse in action, and another take, and one more {note for yourself which elements make these three looks feel more/less vodka/cranberry to you}
• Two Instagram snaps of the �oral dress here and here • Velvet and bow top with a diff erent ladylike white skirt •
Te
pencil skirt with a diff erent cropped top
• And the blue top with the pencil skirt Seeking more examples of the 2-Part Fashion Cocktail? I created a Pinterest board just for you to get a quick overview of some of the other looks I’ve worn on the Dean Street Society blog. While you’re there, re-pin your favorites and spread this little nugget of style knowledge with your friends! P.S. If you were unfamiliar with the women I referenced in exploring where we fall on the spectrum, here’s a photo of each and how their natural look and essence, regardless of clothes, 12
aff ects how the clothes they wear read: the singer Pink {vodka hair}, Katy Perry {vodka curves + persona} + Alexis Bledel {more cranberry}. Now it’s your turn: Where do you feel that you fall on the vodka to cranberry spectrum? Where would you like to fall? What are some initial ideas you have on how you could shift that balance?
A
13
Style Challenge: One staple, three new ways For our �rst style assignment I’m challenging you to �nd one staple or favorite piece in your wardrobe and create three diff erent out�ts with it. In 3 Steps to Simpli�ed Style, I taught you how our brains create habit grooves that allow us to save energy. Today, we’re going to shake those up and look beyond the traditional top we pair with that skirt or shoes we wear with that dress. Be patient with this challenge if it takes you a few tries to see your closet with fresh eyes. When you’re not used to stretching your creativity it’s easy to feel stuck. But keep pressing into it, as this is a muscle we can all strengthen. Challenge yourself not to choose the one or two things you typically wear with this staple piece. What are three NEW ways you could wear it? I promise you, however small your closet, there are three new out�ts hanging in there that work with your favorite staple. Tis can even include shoes or accessories.
Ten,
here’s how to share your style challenge photos each week:
Step One: Get in front of a full-length mirror and take a self-pic on your camera phone. Or use an app like Camera+ that has a timer, setting your phone up facing you. Or have a someone take them for you. Step Two: Use a collage app such as PicFrame. Place your three out�ts into one photo like this {except all of yours should show you head to toe, unlike the center image here}. Step Tree: Post your one photo collage in the Treehouse of Trust where I'll be looking at them during our live call to give feedback. All with love, all coming from a place of education and discovering the simplest way to the best version of yourself. Step Four: Follow this tutorial from Liz on how to get the URL of your exact post. Step Five: Insert the link when you RSVP in this week’s email for which of two live calls you’ll be joining on. When we get on the call, I’ll open up the RSVP list and click through each URL to give personal feedback and have everyone be able to see the out�ts we’re discussing!
14
Remember, the goal is not a stellar photo. It's simply a behind-the-scenes shot so that I can help give you ideas about what might work better or what could also work that you haven't thought of. However, do your best to choose good lighting. Move your mirror near a window, turn on all the lights -- the better I can really see the details of your out�t, the more speci�c feedback I can give. I personally take self-photos sometimes to simply get outside of myself when looking at an out �t. I’m less hyper-critical when I’m looking at the photo, the way other people see it, rather than back at my re�ection in the mirror, where sadly habit has taught us to focus on our �aws. Another bonus is that snapping pics on my phone when I’m in creative mode means I’m more likely to remember my brilliant moment in creating that out�t, and wear it on another day. It’s the same way an author needs to write down a poem or story idea so as not to forget it. Make a note of your creative ideas {i.e. keeping them on your phone’s camera roll} so they’re there when you need them. If you're unsure if an out �t works, don't waste too much time vacillating. Make it one of your three pics and share it to see. Tis is a safe space to take a risk.
P.S. With More Grace Tan Gumption: When it comes to sharing in the Treehouse of Trust, feel free to interact, dialogue and share as much as you like! Te only time I ask you to refrain is when it comes to critiquing any photos someone posts. Please refrain from the type of comment on the left and share generously the ones on the right: " I like the skirt better than the pants." vs "Love that skirt! " " I don't really think those colors work together." vs "Red looks amazing on you! " "Tat skirt is the wrong length." vs "Tose pants are so � attering on you.”
Can you see the di ff erence? Te
left says something is better vs worse, or it off ers a critique. Te right shares solely affirmation.
Te
left could absolutely be said delightfully, with love! But research shows that through the veil of a computer screen, we tend to take things with a negative tone. And when it comes to how we look it can be oh so easy to misinterpret something a stranger says, not knowing their sweet heart behind it.
15
You are oh so welcome to leave notes of encouragement, say which of their three out�ts you like best or what about an ensemble you love. And once these � ve weeks are over, you are all welcome to use the space to ask for one another's feedback on your ensembles at which point there will also be more trust built up with one another. But for the � ve weeks of class please go the extra mile to off er only affirmations, and respect that your fellow students are asking for my constructive criticism at times, but no one else’s. Te
fact that I have never ever seen a Dean Street Betty do anything but a ffirm on the blog, Instagram or in Style & Styleability means more to me than I can say! So remember, this community is a safe space. I only want to go the extra mile myself in articulating to ensure it always stays that way. Now go forth and share!
But wait, there’s more! {wink} Each week we have a main challenge that I ask you to post for feedback during our live calls. However, I want you to continue to explore your closet beyond that one challenge, so use these bonus challenges when you’re getting dressed the other days of the week {i.e. look for something remarkable three days, and a 2-part fashion cocktail three days}. You can also snap a pic and share them in the Treehouse daily or anytime.
Bonus Style Challenge: 1 to be Remarkable What’s your one remarkable detail in today’s ensemble?
Bonus Style Challenge: 2-Part Fashion Cocktail What’s your recipe in this ensemble? Where did you add some vodka to freshen up an old piece? How did you add cranberry to make a fun out �t feel more work-appropriate or everyday?
16
17
Each week I’ll share some of my favorite spots for style inspiration and ideas ... • Watch this video with Danielle LaPorte to go deeper on the concept of how you want to feel. • Check out the BBC series Mr Selfridge which has some fascinating insights on how department stores changed shopping and how the advent of make-up evolved. • Read Te Meaning of Sunglasses, a hilarious book with a cheeky take on fashion, history, trends, trend-setters. {I read this on the beaches of Puerto Rico and was that girl cackling to herself in a bikini. Fun fact: Te author’s �rst kiss was my ex-boyfriend.}
18
In the 3 Steps to Simpli�ed Style, I sent you on a scavenger hunt to Pinterest to create a vision board of your personal style. What I gave you to get started with were photos of celebrities. Tough I’d like to point something out: celebrities often look like crap. My theory is that they’re trying to blend in. Tey’re trying to do the exact opposite of Secret #1: 1 to be Remarkable. Tey don’t want anyone to remark, they’d like you not to notice them thankyouverymuch. Tus, you end up with lots of schleppy tees, ball caps and baggy pants. Or stunning red carpet or Tonight Show looks. For more “real people, real budgets” inspiration, my recommendation is style bloggers. I don’t suggest them in the 3 Steps to Simpli �ed Style because I fear some people see bloggers as unattainable, more so actually than celebrities. Along the lines of, “Sure I can’t look like a celeb because I’m not a millionaire, but that girl just wears J.Crew and yet I look so far from her when I wear J.Crew.” But, you’re a Style & Styleability betty now, so even the most aspirational of ensembles, you’re going to know how to break down and make work for you. {wink} So head over to this second Pinterest board and keep adding to the �rst one you created. Remember that what we want to focus on is how you want to feel most of the time. So if 75% of your style is “everyday” then focus on pinning ensembles that inspire you for Tuesday afternoons, not Saturday nights. Or, we want to focus on where you’re stuck. If you love your work wear but loathe your weekend stuff , that’s what I want you to be seeking out.
19
Q: What can you learn from your expanded vision board? How would you describe the style you’re drawn to? What speci � cally do you love about an out � t: the color, pattern, silhouette, accessories, hair/make-up? Consider every element that’s going into the look you love. What items did you see that remind you of what you already own? What are the speci � c items you realize you need to add to your Wish List? Out of those items, which ones will you prioritize? Which pieces will get the most use or make the biggest di ff erence?
20
Next I want you to consider your own closet. What is the category you have the hardest time with? You love this BUT can never �gure out how to wear it? An example could be your most comfortable shoes that don’t seem to go with much. Or maxi skirts but you can never �gure out what to pair them with. Head back to Pinterest once more and this time use it as a search engine. Type in “boat shoes,” “rocker tee” or “pearl necklace.” Try variations “rocker t-shirt” “concert tee” “vintage t-shirt.” You may get lots of photos that don’t apply, but see if you stumble upon style bloggers, celebrities or catalogue shots where someone else has identi�ed the kind of piece you’re looking for to see how someone else styled it. What are the diff erent kinds of shoes you see with a maxi skirt? Does this give you ideas either of what ’s in your closet, or what speci�cally to look for when shopping?
Q: How can you style __________? What are some speci � c ideas this scavenger hunt uncovered, whether the style/essence or individual items?
21
Expanding your personal style is like cooking. If you’re newer, you want to seek out recipes to inspire you. Over time, as you begin to better understand the chemistry, why certain things pair well together, you become more bold and creative on your own, able to take risks sans recipe. But there’s a reason cookbooks sell like hot cakes and grandma’s signature dish keeps getting passed on down: A recipe is a path to success. Make It Happen: Pop over to the Treehouse of Trust and share your updated vision board! Post the link so others can visit it and/or take a screengrab and post it as a photo. Plus share your answers to the two Qs above while you’re there.
Last week we started with your hanging clothes, and this week we're moving on to the folded ones. For me, this is sweaters, cardigans, some long-sleeved tees and previously, pants. Tis
will vary based on your closet set-up, but between the hanging and folded you should be incorporating all your "every day wear.” Pajamas, workout clothes, etc. don't need to be dealt with for now.
Step One: In the Ribbon and Record trick I teach you to create a marker within one stack of clothes. However, if you have space it actually can be easier to create two columns or stacks, whether that’s on a shelf or in a drawer. For me, since the "back" of my hanging bar is on the right {i.e. things I wear go to the back/right} I make my folded stacks on the right my "already worn" ones too. Te
other option is if you have cubbies of some sort {i.e. I confess I still had those fabric hanging cubes left over from college until recently}. I make the bottom one “worn” and then as I wear more items I keep shifting the stacks up. A ways into winter, I’ll have the top two cubbies -those right in my line of vision -- �lled with sweaters I’ve yet to wear, and all those beneath them housing the pieces that have already been sported. If there’s an area where the “record” concept didn’t sit quite right for your space, try creating two columns/delineating cubbies/etc. Step Two: Organize by color. Again, this may be too OCD for some of you to keep up all the time, but for me it creates such a fast line of vision. Black and up, are the sweaters I’ve yet to wear.
22
Ten
I start the rainbow again beneath and my eye is never confused about my not worn vs worn segments.
Step Tree: A �nal option here, if you have an area of your bedroom where the record or two stacks just isn’t going to happen, is to use �le folder labels. You can thank my o ffice supplies obsessed mother for give me handy ideas like this. {wink} Wrap a label around the folded part of the sweater or pants so you can see it. And once you’ve worn an item, remove it. Items with stickers still on them in X weeks or months, equals unworn.
As you’re going along with both your Ribbon & Record, remember the purpose: 1) Break out of your 20% rut, making better use of the investment that is your closet and discoveries in your 80%. 2) Getting clear on what you love and why. Why do things end up behind the ribbon �rst? How can you make more of those choices when shopping? 3) Getting clear on what you don’t love and why. Why are things still in front of the ribbon? How can you avoid making more of those choices when shopping? 4) Clearing clutter. If it still hasn’t been worn in X amount of weeks {this is a personal choice based on the size of your closet} donate it to let it bless someone else’s life and free up your own of physical and mental clutter.
23
Watch secret #3 here with the password “secret_three”:
For a closer look at the pieces and concepts featured in this video class: • One spin on the little white dress • How I styled the vintage gold dress on the blog •
Te yellow
sweater in action
• A few examples of the half-tuck or partial-tuck here and here and here
24
Now it’s your turn: Tink back to your out � t yesterday, today, what you shared in last week’s style challenge photos ... Did you have three remarkable pieces? What are some out � t ideas you have for when you could add that second and third piece to take an ensemble to the next level?
25
Next watch secret #4 here with the password “secret_four ”:
For another take on the pieces and ensembles featured in this video class: •
Te
•
Te white
peach and pink dress on a date necklace adding the “V’ to a maxi dress
• Accessorizing the white lace top and black leather skirt • An example of high-waisted jeans* • One take on a skinny belt under a cardigan {and the fur collar from secret #3} *Yes, the pockets don’t make my stomach look totally � at, and you know that’s an area I’m self-conscious about. But be honest, is that the � rst thing you thought? Or did you actually think, “Darling out � t!”
If you were unfamiliar with some of the celebrities I referenced, you’ll �nd them on this Pinterest board of Oscar style that does {or does not} represent “the line” or “the V.” 26
Now it’s your turn: With this concept of the Line and V, what do you realize about the shapes and silhouettes you’ve loved and why? Or those pieces that haven’t worked or felt un � attering but you couldn’t put your � nger on why?
27
Style Challenge: Tree pieces from your 80%. Tis
week I'm challenging you to share three pieces in your wardrobe that you don't get enough wear out of ... because you're not sure how. Tese could be: a) I love love love this! But sadly I never wear it. I just don't know how to make it work or can't �gure out what to pair it with. b) I like this, but I really only ever wear it this one way. After that I'm stuck. c) I think it might be time for this to go. I keep wondering if I should toss it, but perhaps it has more potential than I think?
Note that these aren’t fancy dresses that you just don’t have opportunity to wear more than once or twice a year. Tese are pieces that you feel like you should be able to wear on a Tuesday morning or Saturday evening, but just always seem to put back on the hanger when you try. Post your collage of three photos in the Treehouse of Trust where we’ll chat about them on the Lady Date and live calls to help give you some ideas and guidance where you're feeling stuck.
Bonus Challenge: 3 is the Key What are the 3 key pieces that make your out�t look like a chic ensemble?
Bonus Challenge: 4 the Bettys: Bosom and Button How have you changed the shape of your out�t to emphasize the line or the V {i.e. adding a necklace, tucking it in, belting}?
28
29
Here’s two creative escapes I loved and think you will too ... • As we talk about classic silhouettes this week, you might watch the Valentino Documentary for a glimpse inside timeless style • Reading 5th Avenue, 5am on the making of Breakfast at Tiff any’s will forever change how you think about the little black dress, as well as whether Audrey Hepburn really had the “ideal shape” or not.
30
Last week we took the vision board of your personal style to the next level. But what if you feel very far right now, from that vision of the woman you want to be? Today we’re coming up with a game plan for how to ease on down the road from the style you currently have to the one you really want. I receive many emails from women who want to wear {�ll in the blank} -- brighter colors, more patters, fun jewelry -- but they’re nervous. We don’t want to look like we we’re begging for attention. And when we do something new, stretch our creativity wings, people notice, therefore they comment aaaaaaand we get super uncomfortable. One of my clients is a guy in Washington DC who loves fashion. Nothing crazy, but DC is a pretty conservative town, so showing up in a striped shirt with a polka dot tie or heaven forbid a bow tie, would de �nitely get noticed. So I told him, “You can play small and hold back. Or you can just get the heck over getting noticed and be okay with being the best dressed guy at your o ffi ce.” A friend of mine is a suit-maker and he wears a three-piece suit everywhere he goes. We’re in a bar on a Friday night where everyone else is in jeans, and he’s the 6’6” guy in a full suit. It gets him noticed. And he owns it. Nothing to apologize for. He gets noticed, because he looks incredible. You saw my before and after photos in the weeks before Style & Styleability. I didn’t make that transformation overnight. It happened slowly. I evolved. I went from an averagely dressed girl, to well dressed, to often times the best dressed in the room. {Note: I don’t say that bragging, I say that meaning it could easily make me uncomfortable, as though I’m over-dressed.} But even when I’m more dressed up than everyone else -- now, no one thinks anything of it because they 31
expect it. I’m a stylist. I’m stylish. No one’s surprised. And I feel authentically con�dent, not nervous I’m too much, but grounded and owning that I love the way I look without apology. Being a stylist gave me permission. And now I’m giving it to you. However, if we ramp up from zero to sixty in one day, it can feel super awkward. Instead, you want to step outside your box one step at a time over the coming weeks and months to evolve gracefully.
Pardon me while I talk about bosoms {aka, thank you Fergie, your lady lumps} for a moment. Blake Lively is known for a sexy evening dress. When I see her cleavage on a red carpet, I don't give it a second thought. “Oh, Blake, boobs, next.” But when Amy Poehler was married to Will Arnett, I was used to seeing her like this, this and this. Pretty. But nary a near nip slip. Ten
she got divorced, and suddenly began an obsession with precariously plunging necklines at awards shows in 2012 here, here, here and de�nitely here.
All I could think was, "Woah, there are Amy’s breasts!!! " What feels like a natural style choice on Blake doesn't distract me; what feels out of character for Amy, eclipses how lovely she may look beyond that. Let me say that a di ff erent way: Amy’s low-cut choices are not a “fashion don’t.” But when you make a 180 degree change, people notice. And it can feel inauthentic.
Te
secret to being a Blake not an Amy: Know where your current style falls on the path to your ideal style. Or in the words of Shakespeare, “Know thyself.” My feeling is that you can go one step outside of your wheelhouse in any direction. Wear no make-up? Start with mascara and tinted lip gloss. Never wear heels? Start with a sensible 2" heel in a casual style. It's when you suddenly leap three steps outside that people say, "Woah, you're wearing sequins! " {to the girl who's usually in a plain pullover sweater} and "Wow you're dressed up! " {to the girl in a pencil skirt who typically shows up in yoga pants}. Or, when you throw on the makeup and the heels and the dress all in the same day, as compared to your fresh-faced, �ip-�ops and jeans.
32
Knowing what’s in your wheelhouse is not about being afraid to go to big. Tis is not me trying to reign you in. It’s me trying to push you. Because I �nd that 99% of the time we are not too bold, we are too timid. Instead, knowing your wheelhouse is about giving you an anchor. So that you can then take a step outside your box with con �dence. It’s taking your everyday, average, usual, typical, go-to style ... and then asking yourself, “How can I take that up just one notch? What’s one thing I could change up? How could I take just one thing to the next level? ”
Going one step outside your wheelhouse will get you noticed. You may get compliments. And in our bizarrely self-conscious brains that can sometimes feel awkward. “Oh gosh, people keep complimenting me today, this isn’t usual, I must be too dressed up, this is awkward.” Own it. Trust me that you can go one step outside of your wheelhouse in any direction: more colorful, more cheeky, more makeup, more accessories, more form-�tting, more dressy, more fashion forward. Tat may get you noticed. In the best way. Don’t panic. Getting noticed, does not mean you’re screaming for attention. I’ll say that again in case you missed it. Getting noticed ... does not mean you’re screaming for attention. It means you look nice. Go with it. Say thank you. Smile. Ten go do it again tomorrow.
Start with this brainstorming: Q: What’s in your wheelhouse? What does your typical, daily, go-to style tend to look like? If you’re stuck, start by listing things that are NOT your style. Tings that are in a friend’s wheelhouse, but aren’t “you” to help you get more clarity. Or consider times when a friend has pointed to something and said, “Oh that’s so you” and whether or not you agreed.
33
Next I'd love to know: Q: What are 3 ways in which you could go one step out of your style wheelhouse? Stuck? Here’s a few ideas: “I do the same simple eye makeup everyday, so I could try a bold eye” “I always wear � ats so I could wear a pair of heels that aren’t too high but make me feel a little more feminine” “I wear a lot of patterns, but never more than one, so I could try mixing two” “I always sport black so I could try wearing one great color” “I never remember to accessorize and could play with layering bracelets or one great necklace” OR look to the women on your Pinterest board. When I feel stuck for what the next version of my style is, this is exactly what I do. I look to my friends on Instagram who I consider stylish, and I get inspired about speci � c pieces or combinations I hadn’t come up with on my own. P.S. If you � nd more images on your quest to answer this question, add ‘em to your board! Tat place is going to be a treasure trove to rival Ariel ’s when we’re done.
Tis
is how you gently push the boundaries of your personal style; how you take your style to the next level, without feeling uncomfortable or not like yourself in your own skin. Make It Happen: Commit to pushing the envelope in one of the ways above, then head over to the Treehouse of Trust and share it! 34
By now you’ve made some progress into your Ribbon and Record, whether you started it before class, during the 3 Steps to Simpli�ed Style or dove in when class began. Keep that going. Depending on how large your closet is, now could be right about the time that you’re reaching the end of your safe 20%. Which means it will get a little more challenging to �nd new pieces to wear, because you’re pushing beyond your habits and go-to items. Stick with it! What if you come up with out �ts the night before? Or come up with three or � ve out�ts at a time for this week? You don’t have to commit to this practice for all time. If I think I have to do something like give up dairy “for forever” it’s much more daunting than committing to try it for a month. Do this just for the remaining few weeks of this class to get you into that uncomfortable 80%. Pushing yourself creatively is like training for a marathon. You don’t train hard 52 weeks a year. Right now we’re in a push of a few weeks. Tat’s what this class is all about. And then in a few weeks you can rest, go back to your go-to’s, trusting that pushing yourself will have expanded your horizons so that “neutral” is a bigger playing �eld then it was before we started.
Now that we've tackled all of your main clothes, let's move on to accessories.
Step One: Create accessories spaces that have a “right and left” or “top and bottom” just like your closet. Personally, my necklaces hang on hooks and once worn they go to the right side. My scarves are on a ladder and once worn they're put on the lower rungs. My belts are rolled in square dividers in my top drawer and once sported go into the squares on the right. Tis
organization will look diff erent for you based on your space and set-up. But in general I'd like you to start creating a separate spot, stack or certain side for once your jewelry, tights, socks, purses and any accessories are worn. Step Two: Have your accessories where you can see them!
So many people have necklaces tucked in a pretty box up on a shelf. Of course they never get worn. Or their purses are in some convoluted storage bin under the bed. So of course it’s easiest to just keep wearing the same purse everyday, even though you have 10 others that are gathering dust. We can get into the same rut of wearing just two necklaces everyday when we own 20, that we do with our jeans. And we can have a chest full of purses, yet are unsure which ones to part with and 35
donate, just like when we have a packed closet of sweaters. Make the best use of everything you own, plus make it clear for yourself a month from now what's clutter. If you don’t wear it, pass it on to someone who will. Remember, this doesn't have to take more than 30 seconds! You don’t have to “organize” any more than just decide what your marker or side is, and start putting things there when you take them off later today. And/or, do some hunting on Amazon for a new space solution that might let you get X off of a top shelf or out from under the bed to where it can really be of use to you. Something along these lines let’s me see all my jewelry displayed on my dresser, and a decorative trunk at the foot of my bed holds all my purses. After all, if you’ve spend the money on the accessories, may as well invest in something to help you get use out of them.
Watch secret #5 here with the password “secret_� ve”:
36
For a second look at the pieces and ensembles featured in this video class: •
Te
black and white top, with the black and white version of that pencil skirt
•
Te
same pencil skirt styled elsewhere
• And in the blue and green version • Pardon Women Wear Daily’s snarky tone, and note this is not a political statement, but regardless of party affiliation in the United States, this sums up how poor tailoring hurt poor Paul in his aspirations •
Te J.Crew
denim homepage {where you WILL see bootcut, but a far more narrow silhouette than the bootcut most of us owned 10 years ago} <-- P.S. Tis is not an affiliate link, I just think J.Crew is a good “middle of the road” barometer for what’s in style without being overly fashion forward, whether you put their preppy spin on the styling or your own.
Now it’s your turn: What’s one takeaway from the video class that has you thinking di ff erently about the shapes you have in or will add to your closet? Is it a silhouette you’re going to stop choosing, or one element you’re going to start paying more attention to?
37
Next watch secret #6 here with the password “secret_six ”: {P.S. Note this is an “earmuff s” video for language if you have a little one about.}
If you were unfamiliar with Carrie, Brigitte and Olivia, here’s my current style recipe, or one of them at least. {wink}
Now it’s your turn: Te Sixth Sense Worksheet: Revisit Chapter One of the workbook in which you wrote about how you want to feel. Tis time I want you to go deeper in one of two ways.
Either 1) WHY do you want to feel the way you want to feel? or 2) WHAT does that feeling fee l like? Either prompt will get you to the same place: unpacking these words, to see if there’s a deeper mea ning that ’s more speci � c and unique to you. For example, “successful” and “happy” will actually mean di ff erent things to di ff erent people. So WHY do you want to feel successful? WHAT does happy feel like?
38
Take a look at the words above and narrow it down to a handful. Maybe three or � ve. Make this your tagline that you want to remember every time you go into a dressing room or are looking in the mirror deciding if a piece should go: “Does this make me feel _____?” {For example, “Artistic, feminine, wise and/or joyful.”} Tat description of your recipe for feeling marvelous, is all your own and your north star in curating a closet that represents and inspires who you are. Make It Happen: Per usual, head over to the Treehouse of Trust and share the two answers above to hold yourself accountable and inspire someone else!
39
Style Challenge: Dress-up three casual pieces, or dress down fancy ones. Tis
week I'm challenging you to �nd three pieces in your wardrobe that are typically casual ... and try out ways to dress them up. Or, pieces that are typically dressy ... and play with how you can make them work in the everyday. I often �nd my clients have items they rarely wear because they seem "too fancy" for work. But actually with a few tricks, we can totally pass them off as office appropriate.
Or, they have a basic that doesn't feel special enough for a night out. And with a few additions we can make it so much more "Hellooooo there." Now, do take into account that the 2-Part Fashion Cocktail can only go so far. Pearls and yoga pants, aren’t dressing up or down anything, they’re just leading to an unsavory recipe for awkward. {wink} But, pearls certainly can dress up jeans. So experiment and let’s see what new concoctions we can uncover. Share your challenge photos in the Treehouse of Trust and let's try to multiply your closet for all of your life scenarios!
Bonus Style Challenge: 5 Star Proportions Why do the proportions in today’s out�t work, or not?
Bonus Style Challenge: 6th Sense Feelings Which of your 6th Sense Feelings are embodied in today’s out�t? Perhaps let your words inspire the out�t you decide to put on? If only half of the words are present, what change could bring more of them into this ensemble?
40
41
• One of my favorite little gems: Te history of style {and dance} in 100 seconds. • While PopSugar may not be the Wall Street Journal , I’m incredibly impressed with their list of the 50 Most Stylish Movies if you’re looking to add to your Net�ix queue.
42
I was in our hotel room during a conference last year when a new friend said, "I have a vintage fur vest I want you to have. I packed it to wear, but it just doesn't look good on me." She showed me the vest, and it was almost identical to one I'd been wearing earlier that day. And at about 5'4" and not especially curvy, our frames are similar. So I pulled the liar, liar card: "I don't believe you. Why doesn't it look good on you?" "It just makes me look wide." "Mmm I bet it doesn't. It looks like you're a small person, wearing a fur vest. Te fur looks wide, not you. Did you think I looked wide when I was wearing mine today?" "No! You looked adorable! But when I came back to the room and tried mine on ... I just looked wide." " Tat's because when you look in the mirror, you're seeing the parts. And when you look at me, you're seeing the whole."
We do this all the time. You stare critically in the mirror and your eye goes right to your selfconscious areas. Tat 150% Mirror I talked about in 3 Steps to Simpli �ed Style. You notice right away that your thighs seem wide to you, your arms are a bit �abby in your mind, that part underneath your arm does that bulgy thing when you wear a strapless dress, your stomach isn’t perfectly �at. But when you see someone else, what do you notice? 43
Let's take out the 10% of people who dress in a really un �attering manner. I don't mean the rather overweight woman wearing white spandex pants we know would highlight cellulite on the best of bodies. I mean the hilarious woman in your office who has a perfectly nice �gure and pretty eyes who looks great in blue and always has the loveliest silk scarves. How often when she walks into a meeting are you analyzing her stomach under that pantsuit or her arms in that dress? If you DO notice an "imperfect" part about others ... it's probably the same one area you're always staring at on yourself. Am I right? You're self-conscious about how your thighs touch, so you're always noticing everyone else whose do or don't? You’re always afraid you look a little pregnant in a dress so you’re always looking to see if anyone else does too? But when you see a thin girl in a fur vest your brain thinks, " Tat's a small person in a bulky top layer." Or what translates to, "What a cute out � t!" Ten you turn around and see yourself in the same out�t and think, "Gah! Look how heavy I look in the middle. I'm never wearing this fur again!" We see ourselves as the parts; the imperfect parts. We see everyone else as the whole; the head to toe vision walking down the street towards us.
Next time you hear that thought in your head, squint or un-focus your eyes a little at the mirror. {My parents used to make us do this while decorating the Christmas tree so we could see if there were any gaps in the lights.} Blur out the parts. And just for a moment try to step outside yourself and see the whole. I guarantee that remarkable color, darling detail or a dose of vodka is outshining the little imperfection you're � xated on. See yourself through the eyes of others. Because I actually believe 99% of us are the kind of people who want to see the best in others, and therefore that’s all we notice. Oh, and my friend at the conference? She tapped me on the shoulder two hours later while I was busting a serious move to Miley Cyrus on the dance �oor ... wearing the fur vest! With a big ol’ smile on her face. I thought my heart was going to burst with joy. “We can’t stop, we won’t stop” indeed. {wink} So m’dear, it’s honesty time.
44
Q: What are the areas of your body that you � xate on? Please note: Tis list is not just to write out your � aws and insecurities. But rather, to commit that you will start noticing this week just how often you hear those negative thoughts.
Tis
week, be aware of how often those thoughts creep into your head. And commit, just for this week, to calling yourself out each time it does. Force yourself to step back and consider what you look like as the whole, not just the parts. Squint your eyes a little and imagine what you’d think if you saw someone else in your clothes head to toe. Ten be as gracious to yourself as you are to others. Make It Happen: Tis might feel uber vulnerable, but head over to the Treehouse of Trust and share what the areas are that you’re hardest on yourself for.
45
Again, this is not intended to focus on the negative. But in my experience, hearing what other bettys are struggling with -- especially when they’re gals whose photos you’ve been looking at for the last few weeks -- well, it will often shock you. And if you can’t believe that girl with the gorgeous gams is self-conscious about her thighs ... well, might you too have an inaccurate selfperception?
If you’re still unsure, watch this video from the Dove Campaign. As a stylist, I can attest that almost every client I work with sees herself in the mirror as the portrait on the left. And myself, the men she’s on dates with, and the woman on the other side of the conference table, see her as the portrait on the right. Watch it here. {Warning: I cry every time.}
A
I �nd trends to be silly. Not that they exist, but the emphasis we place upon them. Trends to me are a commentary on an artistic niche. Tey’re for those in the fashion industry noting themes after Fashion Week; fascinating if you’re a student of design.
46
Tey’re
also a sneak peek at what ’s going to be in stores next season. But as someone who’s not in the food industry, does it really matter to me what’s going to be on the shelves at Trader Joe’s in three months; without a job in the tech industry, what new computer or car is going to be on the market next year?
In no other industry do we really strive to be “in the know” unless it’s our profession or serious hobby. But because fashion is sexy, fashion trends appear in US Weekly and on Te Today Show. Tere are plenty of Apple geeks out there who know the blogs to follow, whereas I never hear the next iPhone news. But it ’s hard to consume any women’s magazine without being informed about the newest fashion trends. Te
reason this bothers me is pressure. I see that it makes my clients and readers feel pressure -to be cool, to be relevant, or at least not uncool or irrelevant. You don’t necessarily want to be a trendsetter, but you do want to make sure you’re not left awkwardly and blindly behind. But I don’t see that as being an issue.
No one is ever going to look at you and say, "Y ou know, I'm really disappointed you haven't tried the ___ trend ." No one's wondering behind your back, "Didn't she get the memo that ___ is really in? " Tangerine was a big color one spring and high-waisted jeans another. Did it ever occur to you that a friend of yours didn't own either? De�nitely not. Trends are not about missing out. Tey're not about must-haves. Tey’re not about new style rules you need to know.
So what are they about? I think they're about creativity and new inspiration. I think trends are a great time to say, "Hmm ... tangerine. I guess I really don't own any orange in my closet. Maybe I should play with that. Tangerine doesn't look quite right on me but what about coral? Poppy?" “I feel like high-waisted pants would look awful on me, but I see them looking cute on so many other women ... maybe I should give � ve or 10 di ff erent brands a try in the dressing room and just see?”
Q: What are some trends you’ve tried? What’s been a fail and why? What’s been a great discovery and how? Take a few moments to think about this question to really see how a ff ected you are by trends, for better or for worse. I want you to be aware of the voices that haven’t actually helped, as much as creative opportunities you might have been missing. Tese could be literal trends you read in an article, or subconscious trends you started to pick up on on Instagram, Pinterest or blogs.
47
Trends are about helping you to think outside the box. Instead, they often make you feel as though there's one certain box you're supposed to be in. So the next time you read an article about what's on trend, don't hear it as a list of must-haves. Simply consider each an opportunity, a new possibility, and disregard those that don't work with your personal style and life style.
My hope is that this Style & Styleability experience is helping you gain more clarity about the picture you're creating each time you leave the house, the story you're telling, and what you want to say. Whether that's tomboy today and whimsical tomorrow, or French sophistication every day of the week. Make It Happen: You know what’s next. Head over to the Treehouse of Trust and share your answers!
Our next spots to start organizing are those pieces you wear once in a blue moon {i.e. your fancy party dresses} or those that are out of season {i.e. swim suits or winter coats}. Heads up that both of these categories vary wildly upon the amount of space you have, your lifestyle, etc. so take which advice works for you and ignore the rest. 48
Step One: For your fancy clothes, does it make sense to simply keep them at the back of your closet, or move them to another closet? In my home on Dean Street, I have a gown closet. Yes, really. {I told you this would depend upon your own set up!} I moved everything down there that I would wear to a wedding, but not to church -- that was my personal delineation of whether a cute dress was “fancy” or special occasion. Now that most of my clothes live at the Dean Street Studio where I have open garment racks that are basically the decoration on either side of the �re place, I want those marvelous pieces hanging there. Even if they end up in front of my ribbon for a long while. Te �rst
decision was because I needed the space. Having dresses I rarely wore was extra clutter. Te latter decision is so that I can see which of those dresses I am and am not wearing after a period of time. I might have fewer occasions to wear them, but when I do, what do I want to wear, and what’s gathering dust that I should let go? If you have one mother-of-the-bride dress you haven’t worn in � ve years, keep it. Perhaps you’ll be invited to a black tie fundraiser. But if you still have your sorority formal dresses that could now pass as Halloween costumes, or 24 dresses to wear to weddings and only went to two last year ... Basically it’s up to you if this is an area of your closet where you need to strongly implement the ribbon, or hold onto investment pieces just because. Your choice.
Step Two: Seasonal clothing also depends upon your room’s set-up. My mom likes to put her summery suits in the guest room closet. Even though she could technically wear them to work in the winter {the climate in California is not that di ff erent} she likes to be able to have fresh options to switch out twice a year. Meanwhile, my winter sweaters have their own place in the wardrobe and there’s nowhere else in the studio I could shove them if I wanted to, so they stay put. What I will say though, is that I very often �nd there are lots of things my clients relegate to “winter” or “summer” that could carry over to have much more use. What about the sweater with shorts in the fall? Te light-weight dress with tights in the spring? Before you hide something away, challenge yourself to pair it with something that could make it work for longer than you think. Or, if you decide to put things away, do it not because you’re lacking vision but, like my mother, the change of season refreshes rather than limits you.
What I care about most, is that you’re setting up your home in a way that works for you and checking in to make sure you didn’t just set up something when you moved in years ago and never reconsidered whether it makes the most sense. But instead making intentional choices that help you make the best use of the investments you’ve made and the pieces you’ve brought into 49
your home. {Oh and that you’re not buying duplicates! Who’s bought another red coat on sale in the summer because she forgot she already owned two? Tis girl.}
Watch secret #7 here with the password “secret_seven”:
For more inspiration on rocking color: • My yellow skirt with a diff erent pink tank •
Te
•
Tis
mint pencil skirt and hue-on-hue color blocking
example of hue-on-hue is a color combo I’d swoon for in a �oral bouquet, a pillow or a notebook 50
• How I mixed color head to toe using the jewel tones principle • And the Pinterest board noted in the above blog post with a few ideas of photos that might spark your color inspiration
Now it’s your turn: When you stand in front of your closet what colors do you see? Now that we’re talking about tones or hues, do you see more pastels, primary, jewel, muted or neon? Remember that just because I love jewel tones, doesn’t mean they make you feel the way you want to feel. So how do you feel about the colors in your closet? What do you want to start adding more of or stop buying?
51
Next watch secret #8 here with the password “secret_eight ”:
Here’s a second look at pattern inspiration: • Using #3 classic colors and #4 busy + bold, I pulled off three patterns for fall and did it again here with accessories, both of which also use #1 stripes • I love this polka dot out�t using #2 black + white and #4 busy + bold, and this example which also includes #1 stripes • Note this out�t includes a blouse and skirt you already saw styled in the posts above, for more ideas on how to remix them • #1 stripes plus #4 bold + busy make for a darling pink and blue pairing
Now it’s your turn: Which of four mixing principles was an aha moment for you? What did you realize you were already doing, but just hadn’t articulated that’s why it worked? What helped explain why things haven’t felt 52
right together but you didn’t know why? Based on the closet you already own or your wish list, which principle are you most excited to implement or take to the next level to add prints interest to your ensembles?
Style Challenge: Wear three pieces still hanging in front of the ribbon. As we keep pushing ourselves with the ribbon and record, I want you to create out�ts using three of the pieces still in front your ribbon. Tese are pieces that haven't been worn in the last three weeks ... or maybe longer! As you're creating out�ts, put on your Sherlock Holmes cap and ask the smart questions: Why haven't you worn this? What is it that's drawn you to other pieces ahead of this? Using what you've learned in all eight video lessons, does it have to do with: 1. Not being remarkable? What remarkable detail could you add?
53
2. Too vodka or cranberry? How could you shift the recipe balance? 3. If you focus on 3 is the key does it feel more like a full ensemble? 4. Is it lacking the V or the line? Can you create the shape with accessories, tucking, etc? 5. Is the proportion simply off ? Could it be tailored or layered to “� x” it? 6. Does it make you feel _____? Would accessories, hair or make-up change the feeling? 7. Do you not love the color? Or don’t have the right color to pair it with? 8. Do you not love the pattern? Or don’t have the right print to mix it with?
It may be that this challenges brings to light pieces you don’t even bother to photograph but just realize you should let go o ff . Hooray for clutter clearing! But if you’re hesitating on the donate pile, do your best to style it and post it for feedback. Even if the ultimate decision is to let it go, you might get some extra ideas on why it didn’t work to shop smarter next time. Ten
share your �nal photos in the Treehouse of Trust. Let's try to solve some lingering pieces to round out your total empowerment over your closet before we head into our �nal week!
Bonus Challenge: 7 Jewel Tone Hues Try a new color pairing, whether thinking about jewel tones or shades of one hue {i.e. blues/ greens or pinks/oranges}.
Bonus Challenge: Figure 8 Pattern Pairings Mix two patterns you haven’t worn before employing at least one of the four principles taught in this secret.
54
55
• I highly recommend Te Iron Lady, the �lm I mentioned in Secret 7. It’s a wonderful historical �lm in general, but take note of how they use color to draw the eye or tell the story. {And even if you don’t watch the �lm I adore this clip!} • While this is not my favorite �lm adaptation of the book {one of my all-time favorite novels!} the use of color and visual storytelling throughout Anna Karenina is breathtaking.
56
Just four weeks ago we began this journey together. One that most likely you’d never been on. We’ve talked about your life, lifestyle, daily rhythms, what’s appropriate for your work or your kiddos. We’ve talked about your style, your style chemistry, what inspires you, who you connect with, what inspires you, how you want to feel. We’ve talked about your heart, what your insecurities are, where you’re unkind to yourself unnecessarily with your silent words. Ten
we’ve taken all of that knowledge about who you are and what you want and merged it with all of my style knowledge on the how’s and why’s of this thing we do every day.
After today, we will have covered ten principles that illuminate how we can look the most eff ortlessly chic, and be the most empowered over these inanimate objects that have such power over our joy or self-con�dence. Plus we got practical, setting up your home for success, clearing clutter, streamlining and systematizing little by little all of this stuff called a wardrobe. And �nally, perhaps most importantly, we took action in getting creative. Every week, you heard your fellow bettys talk about how challenging the challenges are. But y’all kept showing up. You set aside the time for yourself, you keep staring at the closet even as it grew
57
dark outside, you didn’t give up even though you hated the �rst few out�ts, you took pictures even though you were unsure. And you made discoveries. Ones that were hanging right there all along, had already been bought and invested, and now they’re seeing the light of day and shaking o ff the dust or the tags. You’re wearing these discoveries into meetings and parties and showing o ff your creations you crafted by making the best use of what you already had. Love, I hope all of that makes your heart bubble up the way it does mine! Your daily beauty and self-con�dence is something most women are only scratching the surface of and you’ve peeled back layers you may not have even realized were dimming your joy all these years. Before we close this �nal chapter together, I want you to get clear on what you’ve learned. It will never be as fresh in your mind as it is right now, so tell it to yourself again.
Q: What have you learned over the last month? What were the most powerful takeaways from this journey that you’ll use on a daily basis or have changed you for years to come?
58
Make It Happen: Don’t skip this step. Head over to the Treehouse of Trust and share your answer. Tis gift will help remind others of gems they might have forgotten about, and make what you’ve learned here more palpable and muscle memory for one another going for ward.
Te �nal
area we want to organize are our shoes and those miscellaneous drawers like pajamas and workout clothes.
Step One: For your miscellaneous drawers, as always, all I want you to do is designate a side. Have a drawer over-�owing with old tees to workout in? In a month you'll know which half of those you can toss. Have 12 pairs of pjs jammed in that drawer? See which ones you're wearing in the next month and get honest about how many pairs you really need. One month from now even your "miscellaneous drawers" will have so much more breathing room!
Step Two: For your shoes, you can designate a side. Or you can employ my cotton ball trick. Pop one in each shoe {this will cost you a dollar at the drug store} and you’ll soon be able to easily identify which ones haven’t been sported.
And if you're holding onto shoes but not wearing them because they're uncomfortable ... as a NYC girl who walks everywhere, I feel your pain! Make a pact with yourself from here on out to walk around the store again and again to see if shoes are really comfortable. Buy a half size up if you're unsure. Go back to a brand you know is comfortable on your feet for a second pair in a diff erent style or color. If you really need more time with them at home to be sure they’re comfortable, steal my stylist trick on photo shoots: Put masking tape on the bottom while you walk around at home so dirt and markings don’t scuff up the bottom. If you’ve realized they’re uncomfortable and the tape sticks when you remove it, use Goo Gone to clean up the bottoms before you return them. Commit to shopping smarter because I can't stand one more client showing me her darling shoes with glee and then immediately declaring she never wears them because they're so painful!
59
As for shoes you already own, here’s a few of my tricks for making them more pain-free: •
•
•
•
•
•
Baby powder: Keeping your feet dry prevents the sticking and rubbing that can lead to blisters. Liquid band-aid: I put this on when I feel a shoe pressing somewhere to create a barrier before I walk around all day. Runner’s stick: Tis looks like a mini-deodorant and prevents the cha�ng that leads to blisters. Moleskin: When it’s warm outside, this sticks better than band-aids {that always sweat off }. Be sure not to stick it to an open blister, but putting the sticky side on your skin where you feel a pinch before a blister is a great long-lasting cushion. In-soles, cushions, heel grips: It can be worth it to get a few types and try them in a variety of your shoes to see which ones need which. Gummy dots: Tese small circular gel pads are great for creating space between my foot and a shoe where I feel it’s going to pinch or rub. To �nd out where the issue is before I leave the house, I’ll walk around in the shoes for 20 minutes, take them off and see if there’s any red marks. Tose are the spots to employ any of the above before you leave the house!
As a �nal organizing note, for any area of your closet where you hit a wall with “I don’t have any space to organize them the way you’re saying,” take half of them and put them under your bed. If you don’t miss those shoes or workout clothes in the meantime, well, there’s your answer. If you do, then you’ll be motivated to clear the clutter from the �rst round, switch it out with the second, and eventually have whittled yourself down into the amount you can own that gives you room to breathe. And ultimately, don’t you want more room to breathe? White space is the answer to chic. In home decor, in graphic design, in an out�t that’s not too fussy from head to toe. White space is luxurious. You didn’t have to cram the furniture in a little room, the desperate copy in a small sales ad, every accessories in hopes of looking cool. You have room to breathe. You didn’t have to try so hard. So when your re�exes kick in and you want to hold onto more stuff because you have regret over the money you spent or fear of not having enough clothes, my vote is to choose grace, breathing room, chic white space. I don’t think you’ll ever regret that.
60
Watch secret #9 here with the password “secret_nine”:
Another pass at a few of my favorite �nds from this secret: •
Te
•
Tat
chartreuse green dress crop tweed blazer here and here
• Also a very similar example I found for my Mom • My giant black sweater •
Te vintage
black dress
61
Now it’s your turn: Which takeaway will make the most di ff erence in helping you to shop smarter? What’s the biggest mistake you realize you’ve made as to why certain items don’t feel as chic as you’d like?
62
Next watch secret #10 here with the password “secret_ten”:
Now it’s your turn: What’s one � nishing touch you could be better about incorporating? Is it learning a new hairstyle? Investing in a chic handbag? Also what’s the fastest go-to to add chicness on a day you’re in a rush?
63
Our other challenges have been about the stu ff you’re not sure you love, this one is about what you totally love! Style Challenge: To get an A as we wrap up class, I want you to give me an F: • 1 out�t you’d wear to kill on a First Date or date night with your beau {feeling gorgeous, sexy or _____} • 1 out�t that’s your new Fast Change go-to when you realize you have 10 minutes and no time to hem and haw {feeling eff ortlessly chic or _____} • 1 out�t for Final Interviews or Fabulous Events {feeling powerful, successful or _____}
Bonus Style Challenge: Start With A Kick Start wearing those shoes that don't get as much love. Make the same eff ort you do with a skirt you're realizing you never wear. Try to make 3 out �ts work with a pair of shoes you haven't worn during Style & Styleability.
Bonus Style Challenge: End With A Twist Create 3 out�ts this week based around your accessories. Maybe it’s bolder makeup, a new hairstyle or a fabulous piece of jewelry.
64
65
• One of my favorite TV shows is “ Te Americans” in which Keri Russell plays a spy. It’s very “Alias” a la Jennifer Garner, but what I love is that while Jennifer’s undercover ensembles were almost always a version of sexy, Keri’s are often mousy or awkward making her a brilliant example of the power of our hair! • And �nally, if there were ever a fairytale to fall into fashion, it would be “Sex and Te City.” Te TV show is outdated if you start at the beginning, but even popping in one of the movies or if you were a fan of the series thinking back to their characters, consider this as one example of how fashion tells a story .
And that, m’dear, is the end of Style & Styleability ... and the beginning of your more empowered journey into personal style! Your style will be ever evolving. Take part in the next round of Style & Styleability, and I’m sure you’ll see new ways in which you’ve grown and changed. We should always be exploring, creating, taking new risks and spreading our wings. So this process is a gift. Tere
will also always be more to learn. People study fashion, pop culture, sociology, psychology for their whole lives and continue to have new discoveries.
But the foundations we’ve covered will last a lifetime. Te creative stretching we’ve done has expanded you. And while that will ebb and �ow, it will never retreat all the way back to where you started. You’ve pushed your vision of yourself and your creativity. And that jumpstarts some marvelous explorations in all areas of our lives and self-expression, from here to eternity. My hope is that the Treehouse of Trust has been a gem for you. A place to hear that you’re not alone, that we all face the same challenges and that in truth we’re all far too critical of ourselves. I hope you’ve found inspiration there, seeing others grow, and hearing the insecurities and challenges we typically don’t have insight to when we pass another woman on the street. And I hope you’ve been a ffirmed and grown in your con �dence, whether in taking a risk or embracing something new. And if you’re ever in doubt. If the voices creep back in. When you’re nervous about taking a risk, fully showing up, pushing your boundaries, remember that glorious Marianne Williamson quote. “... as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same ...” 66
