Phone Flirtin g The Secret to Amazing Phone Conversations with Women
By Steve Scott
Phone Flirting • www.flirtmastery.com
Tabl e of Cont ents Disclaimer ................................................................. 4 Introduction .............................................................. 5 The Goal of Phone Conve rsations ................................ 10 Getting Your Number (The Right Way) ......................... 16 The Timing of Your Phone Call .................................... 24 Phone Anxiety...................... .................................... 29 5 Rules for Calling Women ......................................... 33 The Beginning of the Phone Call ................................. 40 The Middle of the Phone Call ...................................... 44 The End of the Phone Call .......................................... 49 Phone Call Roadblocks and Obstacles .......................... 53 Conclusion............................................................... 60
Text Guide
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Disclaimer No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. The advice in this book is meant for responsible adults, age 18 and over, and is not meant for minors. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assume any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.
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Introduction Have you ever felt like there is a set of rules and guidelines about ‘talking to women on the phone’ that are written in a book that you have never seen or read. You notice your friends and other guys seem to know what the dating rules are but you are just left out in the cold. While you may not know what you need to do correctly when it comes to women, there is little room for doubt when it comes to breaking the rules. Either the girl will dump you, yell at you or never answer your calls again. The good news is that this is the book that you have been missing. This is the book that lets in on the secret of phone flirtation and rules. Let’ start with an example of what I am talking about. Here is a clip from the movie “Swingers” Mike: So how long do I wait to call? Trent: A day. Mike: Tomorrow. Sue: Tomorrow, then a day. Trent: Yeah. Mike: So two days?
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Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days. Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think? Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious. Trent: Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three
days is kind of money. You know because you... Mike: Yeah, but you know what, maybe I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number. Charles: Then ask her where you met her. Mike: Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll ask if we f**ked. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money? Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party. Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies? Trent, Sue: Six days.
Can you see how complicated it can be sometimes. There seems to be confusion about calling. Talk to ANY guy and he’ll give you his proven ‘rules’ for calling women. Some guys say call immediately; while others might say wait three to four days. 6
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So when should you call? Be patient and you will learn the answer… Even if you get it right can call in the correct amount of time say? and get a woman on the phone, w hat s houl d you For many guys, calling women is a very nerve-wracking experience. Normally confident men don’t understand how to handle the phone when it comes to calling a woman, nor do they know why it’s important for their game. game As you begin to understand this phone calling game, remember this: with women you MUST be proactive.
…with women you MUST be pr oactiv e.
If you don’t follow through with women, you might find yourself alone a lot and spending lonely nights alone with your cat. This is a sad, sad truth. If you wait for her to call you will be extremely disappointed, because she will NOT be the first to call. Waiting around for her to do so will amount to watching movies like “50 first dates” alone. Your phone will remain silent. There are a couple of things to consider when talking about phone dating. The is and a tool call the more girl. It helpscalling you toa connect withphone the girl so to it is used than just a simple appointment making device. Women place great significance on whether a guy calls them or not. If you only call to make the date and do not use it to communicate beyond that purpose, it can make you seem desperate. Men’s view of calling a girl is a more 7
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practical one in contrast to women who have a more emotional attachment to it. Another thing to consider is that many women, especially young ones, don’t like making plans far into the future. They don’t want to commit themselves far in advance. So calling about a date in two weeks is not usually very productive. You may get the response of, “call day before to see if I’m available.” Some of the reasons that this occurs is because women want to be in control of the situation. They may be really interested in a guy but want to keep their options open. Planning too far in the future limits those options. These unspoken rules may seem frivolous or too complicated, but they are want reallytoeasy to understand are very important if you secure that girl forand more than one date. And that’s what we’re going to discuss! The RIGHT way to talk to women over the phone. Some of the topics that this guide covers are:
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Why it’s important to develop your phone skills
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The goal for any phone conversation
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How to get a girl’s number
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Rules for calling women
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How to overcome your nervousness before making a call
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How to turn phone numbers into dates
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Handling problems with your phone calls
Like anything else in life, if you have the right tools, you can accomplish anything. Knowing how to use a phone in the rightwith waywomen. will give a tool that will help your overall success Phones may come with instructions about how to use their functions, but they don’t tell you what to say to the women. This book is the guide that teaches you the phone skills you need to succeed with women…
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The Goal of Phon e Con versatio ns As I mentioned in the introduction a phone has two distinct functions when it comes to calling women: λ λ
Create attraction & rapport with a woman Set up dates
These may seem like easy goals but many guys forget them when they pick up the phone to call a woman. They have no idea what they want to accomplish as they are dialing and so when a woman answers there can be a lot of awkward conversation and silence. Men are aware that women like to talk on the phone. They spend hours on the phone, but never get done what they really wanted to accomplish. This is because they lack focus and a clear idea about what the goal of their call was. The error is thinking that hours on the phone are needed to build rapport and increase a woman’s attraction and attention. The reality is that a man can accomplish incredible results on the phone w ith onl y a f ew m inutes of ta lki ng . The trick is that you have to be focused and know to what you’re doing. In order to accomplish a goal you must have the end in mind. That is to say you must know what the goal is and what it will look like when you have accomplished it. In the beginning of this section I mentioned two goalscreating attraction/rapport with a woman and meeting her in person for a date. Let’s look at each of these goals individually and in some more depth…. 10
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Recreating Attraction Unless it’s a blind date or ‘ cold call’, you have already made a connection with a woman. You already accomplished your first goal which was to get her number. You have already sparked some attraction with her. Since she gave you her number she expects to hear from you. Unless you called her from the parking lot of the bar you may have met her at, there is a lapse of time between when she gave you the number and when you actually call.
(It’s not recommended that you call her from the parking lot or she could think you some type of stalker.) During the period of time between giving you her number and you calling her back she has had stuff happening in her life, dating other guys, a busy social life, or sports activities.
During the period of time betwee n giving you her number and you calling her back sh e has had stuff h appening in h er life
When you srcinally met her, she was excited and interested in you. By the time you decide to call her she may be distracted by other things. So your first goal upon calling her to is to recreate this attraction she initially had. You can’t assume that a great first meeting will lead to her falling madly in love with you and she has been laying next to phone just waiting for you to call. In that initial call, you have to work just as hard to rekindle that attraction as you did when you first met. This is called 11
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As you pick up that napkin with her number scribbled in lipstick on it you must remember that your goal is recreate that spark of interest that was created when you first met her. You definitely want to spark that interest before going out on a date. “re-attraction.”
Re-attraction can come in many forms. First you have to fan the flames of attraction into life. At this stage you want to make her comfortable with you. You can tease her in a familiar manner and make her laugh. If you can make her smile and laugh, you have caught her attention. . Being high value is directly related to being a catch. In essence, you know you have a lot to offer the world. It is for this reason that you never give away your time or company for free. It has to be earned. In other words, you’re doing the You al so w ant to
es tabli sh your
high value
same FLIRTING routines that you would in person. The next stage of reattraction you will want to work at is making her work for YOUR attention. Instead of being at her beck and call, you should act like you’re the prize.
SHE has to make an effort if she wants YOUR attention. By subtly demonstrating that you’re the catch and she has to work for you, you’ll literally have a woman doing everything she can to make a good impression with you. While this might seem a bit Machiavellian, this is exactly the thing thattheir women do when they meet a guy. They get them to buy drinks, give compliments, or establish physical contact. You’re just turning the tables to your favor. In a relationship, no matter if it is a first date, or a couple that has been married for 40 years, one of the partners is pursuing the other. Now this may change from time to 12
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time when pursuer becomes the pursued, but there is always a chase. This is a natural order that keeps things moving in a relationship and keeps it alive. Once the pursuit is over, the relationship will wither and die.
Ipursued have been relationships where I really wanted a girl. I her,indated her and then finally slept with her. Once this occurred it was like something died. I was not as attracted to her and she was not as attracted to me. This is because the chase had ended. The hound finally caught the fox. The excitement was no longer there. So it’s important to fan those flames. Have the girl in hot pursuit of you and she will not stop. If you make yourself the prize and dangle that prize just beyond her reach like a carrot, you will drive her crazy trying to get you. One great routine that I’ve discovered and implemented into my own dating life is to “steal their frame.” When you’re in an interaction with a woman, assume the role of being the one that is pursued. Have the mindset that all her actions are done in an attempt to get you to notice her. In fact, she’s trying to get a date with you. Another great trick is to accuse her of hitting on you – then try to move things forward towards a seduction. Sit down and think of all the ways that women brush you off or try to establish dominance, and start using them yourself. Most quality women are used to guys vying for their attention. But it’s rare to encounter a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to screen women for these qualities
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And believe me; women do want a guy who demonstrates that he is confident and one that has options. Once you have recreated the attraction you will want to work on your rapport with her. Keep in mind that meeting a girl for a 2nd meeting or date is difficult. You may be faced with competition from other guys. You are asking the girl to set aside time for you which means that during that time she is turning down guys that would be less interesting. Plus, there’s the safety issue: She has to trust that you’re a normal person and not some crazed maniac. W ith ra pport
, you establish a sense
She has to trust that you’r e a normal person and not some crazed maniac.
of familiarity comfort with a to her over the phone is woman. Your and goals when talking to develop a connection that she doesn’t have with other guys. You may need to take your time during this stage and develop a sense of trust with her. With women, it’s actually better to move too slowly than too fast. After all, who likes to be smothered? As long as you’re initiating the next step, it’s never too slow. If you noted carefully the things you can do to maintain her interest, then she’ll naturally pursue YOU. And if she doesn’t, don’t take it personally. The important thing to do is look long-term into the future. Think of practicing the mating ritual as a stock that grows and develops over time. Practice truly does make perfect, but you must commit to the cause. Most people fail because they’re not willing to put in the time or effort.
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The Date Setting up a date should be the end goal of your phone conversation. This should come after the reattraction and rapport building. If you go for the date up front, you may blow it. You want to build the sexual tension until she will be literally begging you for a date. Sometimes it’ll take one call to make a date but with some women, it might take a few. Remember take it slow. If you look too eager or desperate, then you will look like the one pursing and she will be less interested in you. No matter how long it takes, you want to maintain the sexual tension that was created in person and over the phone. This is the only way you’ll be able to set up a date To get to the point of setting up a date you must create that sexual tension and rapport that will put her in the RIGHT mindset to meet you. Later in this book you will learn the RIGHT way to ask for the date. So be patient, it’s coming…. But here are some helpful pointers to consider along the way.
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You must try to get her on the phone as soon as possible. (Not in the parking lot, but maybe the next couple days after you get her number) You don’t want to lose the sexual tension.
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It’s up to you how long to wait, but the longer you wait, the more you risk losing the attraction. Remember there is competition from other guys to consider. You
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do not want her to move on before you have the chance to land a date. λ
Don’t fall for the “wait to build interest” game. Have the mindset that they ARE interested and you’re losing nothing by calling them.
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You are competing for her time, so you have to stand out.
Most first-time conversations get off to a boring start, but you want to begin seducing her from your very first words. Demonstrate through your choice of words that you have an interesting life, and tease her by saying that she “could be a part of it.” If she asks how your day went, tell her “it couldn’t have been better.”
Maintaining a busy lifestyle (or you the as illusion is exciting to women, as it poses beingofaone) challenge. When asking her about her day, be choosy in how you respond to her answers. If she says she’s “not bad” or “okay,” tell her (jokingly) that she’s “lame” or “boring.” This raises an immediate question about your life, making her curious about what you do that’s so exciting. As a result, she’ll desire to be part of your adventure. Just remember that there are no free passes. She has to earn her right to tag along.
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Gettin g Her Numb er (The Right Way) Getting a girls number opens the door to relationship. It her signal to you that she is interested and that she would like to meet and talk with you again. Remember this about phone numbers: the purpose is to set up a date. A girl’s number is not a commodity, yet guys treat it this way.
…the purpose [of phones] is to set up a date.
Getting a girl’s number is a chance to take your ‘introductory’ relationship to the next level. Unless you are one of the lucky few, you won’t be able to physically progress the relationship anywhere when you first meet. The phone number is a CHANCE at a date; it should not be seen as a foregone conclusion. She is handing you a tool in order to meet her again in person. The fact is that could lead to date OR it could lead to NOTHING at all. It’s all about how you use your chance and whether you can rekindle that spark of interest.
Be a Real Person To get a girl to give you her number, you have to establish yourself as a real person who she would want to see again. Your first conversation should make her see you as a real person who can be part of her life. You must make her see you as either as a potential lover OR a potential boyfriend. 17
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Before giving you her number, she has to imagine what it would like to spend time with you. It’s not just about physical attraction; you must have an emotional attraction to you as well. If you can c reate a positive emotional attraction and significant sexual tension, then it becomes easy to set up a follow-up date. This is important because of what I like to call ‘chick psychology.’
Chick Psychology An attractive woman meets guys ALL the time. If she’s even remotely polite, she’ll give out their number to lots of guys. It is a game of chance. She increases her chances of a date just by the sheer number of guys that she gives her number to. The downside is that because an attractive woman has lots of guys on the hook, she has trouble remembering who she’s talking to. It’s hard to stand out from all the other guys she’s met. Unless you’re extraordinary, you’ll have a hard time standing out in her mind. And at any given moment, they’re probably dating
(maybe even sleeping with) a couple of guys This means she has a lot of options. Unless you stand out, you’re going to have a hard time igniting a spark and getting her attention. You will be a face in a large crowd. 18
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There are also biological aspects to attraction that you need to be aware of. Even though you don’t want to get a girl pregnant, the biological and psychological aspects of attraction and dating are about procreation. A girl will be attracted to a guy that presents the best stock for having a child with. That is to say, it is a strong guy that will produce strong and healthy babies. It all begins with physical attraction: What a guy looks like. Different girls have different definitions what is “sexy.” You don’t have to have bulging arms and a six pack to get a date or even get a girl in bed. You just have to make the right connection. Physical attraction is the first thing that gets a girl to notice you.
The next step beyond the initial physical attraction is whether a guy is a good match for them on an emotional level. This has to do with child rearing. Does a man have the potential to be a good father? If a girl can connect on an emotional level with a guy and feel safe with them, they will definitely pursue them. Again the goal is not to have baby with every girl you meet, you just need to be aware of what is going on biologically with and what makes them attracted to a certain kind a ofwoman guy. (These thoughts will ALWAYS be present…At least on a subconscious level)
Call-Back Humor 19
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When you meet a girl for the first time and get her number you may know she’s really into you. There are signs like eye contact and physical touching. If a girl touches you while they are talking or giving you her number, you have a keeper. Other times you might call a girl and she might not remember who you are. She could have met a lot of guys that night, or even had too much to drink. That’s why it’s important to stand out. To increase your overall success with women, you have to create a special bond with EACH girl you meet. One way to accomplish this is what I like to name “Call back humor.”
To increase your overall success with women, you have to create a special bo nd with EACH girl yo u meet.
Call-back humor is where you create a funny routine during the first time you met. This can be nickname you give her, or it could be a funny role-playing routine you created. This is follows the basics of mental philosophy and system called NLP (Neuro Li nguis tic P rogram m ing). In this system you are creating an anchor in her mind. This is a word or situation in which unlocks memories, feelings or even actions.
By accessing thiswhen anchor, themake good her feelings she had youshe’ll first remember met. You can laugh and feel at ease to triggering this memory. ce , a couple of weeks ago, I met a girl who was srcinally from Eastern Europe. (I forget what country she told me) F or instan
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What was humorous was she had a funny little accent and said “Very Nice” a few times. So naturally, I gave her the nickname of Borat, which referenced a movie that came out in the U.S. a few years back.
Iknowing teased her if she woreI ask suitsiflike And#4 thatand sheasked saw the movie, sheBorat. was “the prostitute in all of Khastakstan.” I spent a lot of time teasing her and it made her laugh. I created an anchor in her mind with the name Borat. This name connected me to her feeling at ease and laughing. Now this was important because when I called her back, I made references to this Borat nickname. By using the word “Borat” once I reconnected to her on the phone, we went QUICKLY back to the fun, teasing conversation we had when we first met. With call-back humor, you want to create a fun interaction that is unique to the two of you. You can easily create an anchor to start your phone conversation by giving her a nickname. Call-back humor is designed to put her BACK into the state where she’ll feel RE-attracted to you. So it’s YOUR job to create that special, FUNNY connection during your first meeting.
Reference an Event I’ve found that the BEST way to get a number is to have a busy life and appear to have many options. This puts the girl in pursuit by making it seem that she needs to get you
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to call her because she is important enough in your busy life to pay her some attention.
You want to talk about the things you do. Then use an upcoming event to get her number. Thisyou gives reason to want to give herher a number. This beats asking for her number WITHOUT a plan.
…use a n upcom ing event to get her number.
It’s easier to get a girl’s number if you’re following up with something she’s agreed to. An example is that you know about a fun party that’s happening next weekend. So when talking to her, discuss your week. Make it seem interesting, but don’t invite her too quickly. Don’t make it seem like some planned line you’re trying to serve her. When you get to the part about an upcoming event, make it seem like you had just thought about it and the fact that you would like to invite her. Describe how much you’re looking forward to the event and how much fun it will be. The goal is to make her want to go with you. Then as you’re ending the conversation, act as if you had a sudden thought and invite her to this event. You can then ask for her number as a follow up and you have already set your first date. Tell her how exciting it will be and continue to build trust and rapport. You want to make her happy for giving out her number, and that you were NOT only concerned with getting her digits.
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Another way to get a girls number is to simply tell her that you enjoyed her conversation and want to talk to her in the future. But for now, we’re going to assume that you got her number on the pretense of inviting her out to an event Onc e you have call?
her num
ber, how l ong do you w
ai t to
This is a question that plagues many guys. In the next section, we’re going to cover when you should make the important first call.
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The Timin g of Your Phon e Call As you read in the introduction the timing of phone calls is a favorite topic for many guys.
EVERY guy has his own personal theory on the subject. Some say wait 3-4 days, while others may suggest that you call immediately. Many of these theories stem from fear of appearing too desperate. The guys who say wait a few days are the ones who think calling too early makes you seem needy. So are they right? In my opinion, I think the length to call really depends on how SOLID the connection was when you first met the girl. If you know you REALLY hit it off, then you can afford to wait a few days.
…the le ngth to call really depends o n how SOLID the connection w as whe n ou first met the irl.
If however the connection wasn’t that strong, then you should call as soon as possible. With this phone call you should focus on building more interest and attraction. My personal technique is to call a girl somewhere in the 48 hour range. I try not to wait too long to call her. I have just found this is a good time frame to call in. This goes back to our conversation about other guys talking to this girl. You ARE in a competition.
If you allow TOO much time to elapse, then she won’t feel that connection she felt when you first met her.
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Another thing I have found effective is to send a text message to a girl within a couple of hours of meeting a girl. This will be brief message, usually in some form of teasing.
The messages don’t seek other words,like you’re not asking her questions NORvalue does.itInsay anything “It was nice to meet you.” It is just a simple flirtation. Going back to my earlier example using the nickname Borat, I sent the following text to that girl: “Holy shit, I just met another person with a crazy Borat accent. Do you people travel in packs?!?!” This is a subtle message because it uses call-back humor AND it references my status as being a guy who is out meeting OTHER people.
Don’t Be ‘The Creepy/Stalker Guy’ Let me begin with another scene from the movie “Swingers” [It's 2:32am, and Mike decides to call Nikki, a girl he met just a few hours ago] [Nikki's machine picks up: Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message] Mike: Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike. I met you at the, um, at the
Dresden tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time... and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 213-555-4679 [the machine beeps] Mike: [Mike calls back, the machine picks up]
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Mike: Hi, Nikki, this is Mike again. I just called cuz it sounded like
your machine might've cut me off when I, before I finished leaving my number. Anyway, uh, and, y'know, and also, sorry to call so late, but you were still at the Dresden when I left so I knew I'd get your machine. Anyhow, uh, my number's 21 [the machine beeps] Mike: [Mike calls back; the machine picks up again] Mike: 213-555-4679. That's it. I just wanna leave my number. I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate, or... we should just hang out and see where it goes cuz it's nice and, y'know, no expectations. Ok? Thanks a lot. Bye bye. [hangs up]
Mike: [Mike walks away from the phone... then walks back and calls again; once again, the machine picks up] Mike: I just got out of a 6-year relationship, Ok? That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry... This is Mike. [hangs up] Mike: [Mike calls back, the machine picks up again] Mike: Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just call me when you get
in? I'm gonna be up for awhile and I'd just rather speak to you in person instead of trying to fit it all into [the machine beeps] Mike: Fuck! [Mike calls back, gets the machine again]
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Mike: Uh, Nikki? Mike. It's uh, uh, it's just, uh, this just isn't
working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through, alright? It's uh... it's only been 6 months ...
Nikki: [picks up] Mike? Mike: [very cheerful] Nikki? Great! Did you just walk in or were
you listening all along? Nikki: Don't ever call me again. [hangs up] Mike: Wow. I guess you're home.
This additional quote emphasizes another key point I want to make about WHEN to call women and how often in a short time span. In a later section, we’re going to discuss how to handle non-responsive women, but for now, I want to mention that you should NEVER call women more than once or twice ever OTHER day. Remember, you’re the HIGH value guy. You have things to do and people to see. If you are calling all the time it shows you a desperate and alone with nothing to do.
Guys withaLOTS of stuff on several are NOTtimes calling 47 times day. So don’tgoing call her in women a day. If she didn’t answer, don’t call again for a day or so. Calling too much makes you look like a desperate and pathetic. You CAN call and if you don’t leave a voice mail, then contact her a little bit later with a text message. As I’ve said, don’t overwhelm her with phone calls. 27
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You should be proactive, NOT needy. It’s a delicate balancing act. It’s normal in the beginning to do TOO much of either. With some experience, you’ll learn WHEN to call and when NOT to call.
Now that you’ve gotten her number and you’re about to call her, how do you handle nervousness? In this next section, we’re going to cover a few points about how to avoid the anxiety that happens before calling a woman…
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Phon e Anx iety Using a phone to call a girl can be a source of anxiety for guys. They focus on NOT doing the wrong thing because all she needs is an excuse to not see you again. Many men have anxiety for no particular reason, even if they know a woman is interested. Even w orse , there’s that panic you feel where you simply
want to hang up before she even answers the phone. The fear can be paralyzing. Sometimes you may discover that she’s NOT in the fun mood she was when you met her. She’s suddenly cold and unresponsive to your questions. It’s like she’s a completely different girl. This can terrify a guy. The root problem of “phone anxiety” is placing TOO much emphasis on one girl. No girl is worth getting nervous and anxious over. Don’t ever think that she is your ONLY chance for dating. If you do you’ll convey a desperate vibe in your voice. , if you’re meeting and calling LOTS of girls, you’ll give off a relaxed vibe. This calm demeanor comes with experience from talking to different girls. You’re not so concerned with the outcome of one On the other hand
conversation because you’re talking to lots of different people. Your goal is to NOT impress her over the phone. You’ll only end up looking like you’re trying too hard. You need to be casual, relaxed and a little aloof. Have the mindset that you have options. 29
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Here is a quick way to eliminate the anxiety caused by calling a girl… Beforehand, it’s important to have a little material ready to talk about. Keep a notepad nearby and think of astuck few with points to talk about. This helps for when you get what to say. She won’t see your notes and so you will feel more in control. The trick is to act; not react. If you have a plan and material, you will be in control and your confidence will be evident in your voice. Talk a little slower and lower your voice. Having options in your dating life is a quick way to project a confident attitude over the phone. You won’t worry about being a screw up;phone. instead you’ll naturally let the conversation flow over the
A good thing to have in your dating life is different women you can call. This may seem counterintuitive, but when you have LOTS of women in your life, it becomes easier to attract a specific one.
...when y ou have LOTS of women in your life, it become s easier to attract a specific one.
It helps develop confidence and a positive self esteem. These characteristics are essential in attracting the right woman. You’ll be more relaxed over the phone because you know that the girl you are talking to is not your only option. If it goes badly, then you can move on to the next girl.
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Planning Out Your Call Another great way is to have a plan of what you’re going to say before the phone call. Make a brief script of your ‘talking points.’ Remember she’s not going to see them, so don’t be afraid to jot down the important things you wish to discuss. Just like anything in your life, having a plan of action can do wonders for your success. Before you make a call, plan out a detail of what you’ll say. Some things you can talk about can include: λ
A funny story of something that just happened to you
λ
A few questions to ask her to get to know her better and stimulate conversation
λ
Backup stories, anecdotes or openers to use if the conversation gets slow
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A few teasing/funny comments that has worked with other girls
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A reminder to discuss the date idea you discussed when you first met
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A high status way to handle the conversation if she suddenly has “other plans”
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Second date idea (Use as a last resort)
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A closure to end the conversation on a high note
Now as you’re about to call her, you want to understand some general rules. If you break them, then you’ll hurt your chances of re-attracting her OR setting up a date. In 31
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the next section, we’re going to cover what I consider to be those important rules…
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5 Rul es fo r Call ing Women Rule #1 – Have a Purpose Most of the time, calling a girl will be done during the comfort stage of your interaction. Remember that this is the point where she’s ALREADY attracted to you and has interest. So your goal is to re-attract her while continuing the sexual tension that you created when the two of you first met. So the purpose of your phone call should be twofold… you want to continue sexual tension which means teasing her, building attraction, while establishing comfort. Typically this involved getting to know her more. Telling a few stories and doing openers. First
on d purpose for the call is to set up a date. In fact, I would consider this to the most important step of the process. In order to establish a sexual connection, you have to get her in person. This means the phone should be used to reestablish the connection, and then firmly nail down a date. The sec
There may be times you might ONLY want to focus on reattracting her and NOT going for a date. You may wait for the second or third call to establish the date. It’s important for YOU to know what’s needed for the particular girl you are talking to. Basically you have two options: 33
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λ
Re-attract without going for the date
λ
Re-attract and then set up the date
BEFORE you call, you must figure what’s the purpose of the call. Is it for re-attraction, setting up a date or both? That way, you can steer the conversation towards the things that will accomplish your ultimate goal which is seeing her in person again.
Rule #2 – Be Fun & Energetic If you did your job right, you met her with high energy and fun. This is the exact same state that you want to replicate when you first start talking to her. Women make a connection between a guy’s demeanor and what he’s like in the bedroom.
Women make a connection betwee n a guy’s demeanor and what he’s like in t he bedroom.
When you act like a fun guy, you’ll make her realize that you could possibly be fun “in many other ways.” In other words, an exciting personality directly taps into the pleasure side of a woman’s brain, and yes…this is a good thing!
One of the major problems I see in conversations between the genders is what each sex discusses. The mistake that guys make is to converse with women in a logical manner . They think a woman prefers to know only background information about a guy,
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so they steer a conversation towards topics based on facts (i.e. job, hometown, background, hobbies, etc.) While these are useful topics for rapport, they do nothing to build attraction. As you know, a woman is an emotional creature. When she meets a guy, she enjoys that tingly feeling of sexual tension. The guy who can engage the emotional side of her brain is the one she’ll be attracted to, and one of the best ways to trigger this response is to display a fun personality. When you’re a fun guy, you r goal is to avo id all bor ing Instead, focus on being the man who can conversations. bring a woman on an emotional roller coaster. One minute, she’s laughing and having fun, and the next, she’s “turned on” and wondering if you’re into her. Being a fun guy can be accomplished in a number of ways:
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λ
Through hobbies: I cannot stress this enough – have passions other than women! This not only makes you more interesting, but it also provides for some great stories.
λ
Through humor: You don’t have to be a stand-up comic to be funny. Learn to laugh at yourself, and pick innocent fun at the things around you.
λ
Through stories: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? Why did your friends give you that particular nickname? Think about your life and what others might find entertaining about it.
λ
Through a fun routine: This kind of goes along with the first point about having hobbies. Don’t be the guy
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who goes to work, comes home, and repeats it all over again. Have other things going for you as well. λ
Through people you know: Do you know (or have you met) any celebrities? Even better, do you and the girl have any mutual friends? Use that to your advantage by letting everyone (not just the girl) know what a fun guy you are!
A useful trick is to immediately launch into a story from the moment that you call her. That way, you’ve immediately created a context of fun and excitement when you’re talking to her. This brings her back to the fun point that you were having when you first met. Another technique is to use your call-back humor. Start with her nickname and tell a story about something that happened during your day that relates to your shared moment Bottom line is you want to the fun guy whom she met.
Rule #3 – Never Bore Her You shouldn’t be talking for hours on the phone. Keep conversations to the point. You are a high status guy and have lots going on in your life. High status guys don’t spend HOURS on the phone. They’re busy living their lives. Out of nervousness, some guys tend to ramble for hours on the phone with women; they talk about everything that’s going on in their lives and want to be more intimate.
When you’re talking to a woman, you want to keep her interested, without boring her to tears. 36
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If you want to talk about yourself, do so ONLY in the 10-20 minute time frame. Keep the rest of the conversation for being in person with her. I suggest staying on the phone for NO longer than 20 minutes. This is the optimal time for creating attraction and showing the fun side of your personality. Work off HER mood. If she’s low or you know it’s not working, try to change her attitude with the stories that you’re telling. This basically bypasses any initial hesitation she has by steamrolling her negativity. As long as you’re vibing, you can stay on the phone But once it’s winding down, you should either go for the date or END the call. Don’t stay on the phone for hours talking about nothing in particular. Try to stay focused on your Save these other conversations for when you meet goals. in person.
Rule #4 – Avoid ‘Relationship’ Conversations . reat her like you ’re al ready in a relationship You just met her. This even goes if you felt a special connection OR if you had sex the first night. Just because you were intimate does not mean that you own her now. Don’t t
This means the phone isn’t the time to probe her for her dating lifestyle. You shouldn’t ask about the guys she is seeing during her free time, nor should you grill her about other relationships she has had. If she’s a confident woman, she will NOT allow you to control her life. So asking about what she’s doing will only serve to repulse her. It will feel like you are trying to control her. 37
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You don’t w ant to ask her w hat she’ s looking for i na guy or a r el ationshi p . It shows your own insecurity.
You’re showing that you’re concerned with “how you measure up” to the competition. Confident guys don’t show this sign of weakness. They act as if they are large and in charge. A high status guy KNOWS he is the prize that women have to work hard for. A high status guy is not concerned with her dating habits. You have to ASSUME that she’s going to be attracted to you. ALSO, you want to avoid QUALIFYING yourself with your phone conversation: Many guys focus on winning a girl’s heart over the phone. They start with rapport and seek to get her affection through revealing his inner-awesomeness. A phone conversation is neither the time nor the place to win a girls heart. This should be done when you see her, not over the phone.
Women are drawn to high status guys. These are the men who don’t care about what a girl thinks. They are confident and know that they are attracted to them. Don’t talk about all the traits that you have which make you a wonderful boyfriend. If you do your job right, she’ll intuitively pick up on these through your stories and personality. Don’t be concerned with trying to be her “Perfect Guy.” This moves you back into the controlling and desperate territory.
In other words, when a girl discusses what she hates in a man, don’t quickly agree and qualify yourself. This shows 38
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that you’re trying to fit HER ideals, instead of qualifying her.
Rule #5 – YOU are the Qualifier Women approach dating as a way to qualify guys and will look for ways to eliminate them from their lives. You should do the same. Make the call with the mindset that you’re actively looking for something where she will disqualify herself from your life. ONLY if she proves herself will you want to go on a date or see her again. (To be honest, MOST girls will NOT be the one for you) By being the one who makes the decision, you’ll have the power in the relationship.
MOST of your phone numbers won’t lead anywhere. Think of them as “sales l ead s”. They could lead somewhere, but you have to do some work to turn them into dates. You must use your phone skill to make the correct determinations.
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The Be gin nin g o f t he Phon e Call The way you begin your call sets the tone for the rest of the conversation. You want to continue
The wa y yo u begin your c all sets the
the positive emotion that you created when you first met her.
tone for the rest of the con versation.
At the beginning of the call you are doing a mini- “ReYou’re using your phone skills to engage her attraction.” interest. Try to be the guy who makes her laugh and lifts her mood. Most guys start off really boring with their conversation. Don’t get into this conversation trap. This is where you provide NOTHING for the first couple of sentences. You might say things like “Hey what’s up”, then “How are you” then “That’s great.” This does nothing to build attraction, it will only bore her and create awkward silence. To illustrate this point, here is a sample of a boring conversation: Dave: “Hey Tracy, this is Dave. I met you at Pat’s Bar the other
night” Tracy: “Oh yeah, hi…How are you doing?” Dave: “Good. Busy day…I didn’t call at a bad time, did I?” Tracy: “Ummm…actually I’m kind of busy now” Dave: “Oh…Ok. Maybe I should call back some other time. Or can you talk right now? Tracy: “Well…how about you call me back in a few hours”,
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Blah, blah, blah…conversation ends!
Just from the tone of the conversation, you can tell that Dave will get NOWHERE with Tracy. He’s not acting like the fun, exciting person she met. Instead, he’s acting in a boring, predictable manner. She is probably hoping he will lose her number. Maybe she will be lucky enough to have caller ID. t a w om an on the phone , don’t ask what she’s doing or if she’s busy, don’t talk about how you met, and don’t go into a long introduction. W hen you ge
If you did your job right when you got her number, she should immediately recognize who you are. The key is to NOT ask will what she’s doing OR how she’sfor feeling. yourid doof this you provide the perfect excuse her toIfget you. Instead, you’ instantly taking over the power of the conversation. From the beginning of the conversation use call-back humor to reconnect with her. Start by greeting her nickname or some other related call-back humor. Then launch into a story. This shows that you’re not a stranger and quickly helps to re-establish that connection you had. For instance, I’ll paraphrase a conversation from that Eastern European girl:
“Hey Borat…I JUST saw something that totally reminded me of my favorite #4 prostitute in all of Khasakstan…” Then I immediately launch into a story that’s funny and related to our previous interaction.
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Ditch the awkward pauses. Start telling a story from your life or something interesting that happened during the day. Don’t run out of things to say. Have a plan and notes if you need them. Simply launch into stories from your life, or start asking her about related topics. Keep an eye on the time and don’t lose your focus. Give her a reason why you’re calling. Tell her something reminded you of her and made you call her. This makes it seem like the call was more spontaneous. If you feel nervous beforehand, call a good friend and use him or her to “warm up” in a positive mood. Your voice matters. Speak in a deep, calm voice that radiates an upbeat energy. Don’t speak in a cracked high pitched voice. The beginning is about setting the tone and emotion of the conversation. You want her to start thinking of a strong emotion. Get her talking about what she’s passionate about. Make her discuss positive emotions. Avoid bad emotions.
Think about her emotions. Remember how it was when you first met, and she was having a good time. She WANTED you to call her. Now is your opportunity to recreate that strong sense of a connection.
When you call her,toshe NOTtobethe feeling social feeling. You have getmight her back statethat when she first talked to you. That’s why call-back humor is so important, and why you have to take control of the conversation from the moment you start talking. Finally the 80/20 rule applies to phone conversations. YOU will be doing most of the talking at 42
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first. If you’re expecting her to carry half the conversation, then the conversation will go nowhere. Your job is to lead the conversation. Like every other aspect of your game, you have to be willing to lead. After a few minutes of stories and call-back humor, you’re going to switch over to the middle part of the phone conversation which we will discuss in the next section…
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The Middl e of t he Phone Call Before we discuss ‘ m iddle phone ga m e’ , I want to remind you of something. Your
Your success with the phone is in direct
success with the phone is in direct proportion to the connection you made during your first meeting.
proportion to the connection made during your first meeting.
The better your in-person game, the less you’ll have to work on the phone. The phone is ONLY used to build rapport and set-up dates. You have to do the work on the front end to initiate the attraction between you and the girl. With enough practice, you’ll learn when she’s ready to meet up. (Actually, when you’re good at talking on the phone, you’ll typically get women asking YOU for dates) If you barrage her with date requests, you only look like you have nothing going on with your life. Women want guys who aren’t needy. Now once you get past the introduction, you want to spend about 7-10 minutes re-creating that initial attraction you had when you first met. Here are a few techniques for creating that positive emotion she had when she first met you:
#1- Tell Stories
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These are stories and routines that make her interested in you and your exciting life. The idea these conversation pieces should sub-communicate ALL the traits of a desirable male. You need to accomplish this without coming on too strong or bragging. With your stories you want them to know the following about you: λ
You’re a prize
λ
Women like you
λ
You have options
λ
You live a busy and fun life
λ
You have a wide social circle
So on one level, you’re telling a story or something funny that happened, but you’re actually communicating that you’re a high status male. Once you know the conversation is vibing and she’s interested, you can start establishing rapport and deeper emotional connection. Don’t overdo this, but subcommunicate that you have options in your life.
#2- Be Funny While you’re telling stories, you want to keep up the funny tone you had when first met her. Tease her and try to be cocky and funny. As I discussed in Flirt Mastery, humor is one of the classic traits that REALLY attract women. This is equally true of talking to a girl on the phone.
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With that being said, there is a danger to using humor the wrong way. Some guys think that they HAVE to be funny over the phone. But if you try to hard, it’s another way to come across as overly or even creepy. Women intuitively know when a guyneedy is using humor as a way to win over their approval.
The guys who BEST use humor are not concerned with trying to win a girl’s approval; instead they are talking primarily to amuse themselves. It lightens the mood and keeps a girls interest.
#3 – Be ‘The Prize’ This is a funny attitude to have, especially since YOU are doing the calling. Your phone conversation should revolve around subtly communicating that you are not like ordinary men. You are someone they should covet. While on one level you’re talking about your life, you’re telling her:
“I’m a great guy who has lots of options and lots of fun. YOU will have to prove yourself in order to get my attention” Your goal is to get her to chase YOU. You want to be the prize she is after.
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But with the being said, you have to be the one to make HER chase you. Take the initiative and set up the instances where she WANTS to be part of your life. (We’ll cover how to do this in the next section)
#4 – Qualify and Build Rapport As I mentioned before, you will be doing most of the talking at first. You use the ratio of 80/20 where you are doing 80% of the talking. After a few minutes, your stories should spark her interest. She’ll probably feel “re-attracted” and will remember WHY she gave her number to you. At this point, you will want to back away some allow the conversation to become more 50/50. This is where you stop pushing the conversation to get her to open up a little. Allow her to talk a little about her day. Ask her questions. Qualify and see if she matches your ideal of a quality woman. Ask her stuff like “What are you passionate about?”, “What do you like to do for fun?” Just don’t ask things that put her on the defense. Just keep it fun and interesting. For this part of the phone call, I found that it’s important to write a few notes about our previous conversation. Get information on her. The more information she yields, the more of a connection she’ll feel. Listen to what she’s saying and get the important details.
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Use the questions that you wrote down ahead of time to get her to fill in the blanks about her life. Make them open ended questions, not yes or no questions. This encourages her to talk more.
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The End of th e Phone Call As I mentioned before, you want to keep conversation in the 10-15 minute range. Towards the end, you want to determine if you’re going to ask for the date. Don’t call her up and immediately start asking for a date. This makes you look aggressive or too desperate. Use the beginning and middle part of the conversation to connect and make her want to see you again. THEN you can go for the date. If the time and circumstance is right, don’t hesitate- ASK.
Calibrating the Phone Call Calibrate your phone calls. Look for the indicators that she’s interested in seeing you again. Then tell her that you would like to see her during the week for a drink or a cup of coffee.
Don’t make it a big deal. Make it seem like you just thought of it. Use the phone call as the basis for your decision to see her. This is the illusion that you weren’t srcinally interested in setting up a date only to chat. In essence, you’re scre ening her . This is the essence of being a challenge. It will make her wonder about you. One of the keys that you’re doing well is when a girl starts listing what she’s doing in the evening or later in the week. It is her way of communicating that she’s looking for you to initiate the conversation about meeting up. She wants you to ask her out.
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If you’re getting the vibe that she’s ready to be asked out, then you should set up the date. Don’t be too anxious, be very cool about it.
Setting Up the Date If the timing is right as the conversation ends, go for closing the date. Say it in a casual tone like “Hey, we should meet for a drink this week.” Then shut-up. Let her describe her schedule to you. Pick out a day that works for you. A different technique you could try is to turn it around and tell her what days you’re busy, then set up plans on a specific day. Invite her to something fun that you’re doing. Try not to frame anything as a date. Don’t say something lame like, “We should go on a date?” That’s high school dating at a soda shop. Instead say something like “You should come hang out” or “I’m about to go to the mall, you should join me.” You don’t want to detract from yourself by trying to lure her with something like a fancy restaurant. Instead you want to BE the value to the interaction. You goal is to make her want to be around you, not use you for an expensive dinner. Call her up and talk about what you’re doing. Make it sound interesting even if it is just shopping in a mall. Then invite her to join you. Turn what could be a mundane list of stuff into something interesting.
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What If She Says ‘No’ or ‘Maybe’? If a girl says “I’m not sure, call me the day before and ask me”, tell her NO, you need a few days advance notice to schedule things. Don’t let her make you chase her. Let her know about your busy schedule. Then say that you can always do something when she’s less busy. Be firm and communicate that it’s important to keep up commitments that people make with you. Sometimes you’ll get the excuse that she’s busy or can’t do anything. If she’s busy, then talk about ONE other thing that you’re doing. If she seems REALLY interested, then you can set up plans, otherwise, tell her you’ll call back to set something up. One tac tic I li ke to do is ac t like I didn’t hear her ‘ No response’ . I quickly return to the “re-attraction” material.
Then I go for a different close like doing something spontaneous or easy to say yes to…like, “let’s grab some ice-cream now”. That tactic usually works to get to meet with the ‘busy’ women.
This leads to something that I’ve started to do which is VERY successful…
Be Spontaneous This is a great phone tactic for girls who have said NO to previous date requests. Call a woman early evening on a weekday. Talk for a few minutes and then suddenly have a “thought” and ask what she’s doing at that moment. 51
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If she’s actually doing something, then talk about what you have going on in the evening. Make sure that it’s something that you would NOT ask her to come to. [Like you’re about to go running or to the gym] If she says “nothing much”, then you could suggest something to do. Have something ready before you call. This sharply decreases her ability to say no and will get you a date quickly.
Ending the Phone Conversation Regardless if you did or didn’t set up a date you shouldn’t hang up after talking about the plans. This can make it seem that was all you were after. Your game will be revealed. Instead, continue for a minute or so.
Playfully banter, tease and share another story. YOU should be the one to end the phone call. You must know when to end the conversation. DO this before the conversation lags into stale territory. Demonstrate value by ending first and having a reason to get off. An exa
m ple
would be ‘I have to go. I promised my buddy
I would help pick out furniture for her new apartment’ Remember you are a busy guy who has stuff to do. Convey this as you’re ending the conversation. No matter what, end on a high note. Show the same level of energy that you did from the moment you started talking to her.
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Phone Call Roadbl ocks and Obstacl es Not all phone conversations will go smoothly. In fact, with almost EVERY woman, you’ll encounter a few problems along the way. It’s all HOW you handle these situations that will determine if you can turn phone numbers into dates or goodbyes.
In this section, we’re going to cover a few different tactics to help out with your phone conversation problems…
Voicemail em ai l , leave a message. Just don’t hang up and call back 23 times. Many people have caller ID and all of those calls will show up. You will seem like a desperate freak. Don’t do it. I f you get her voic
Remember she’s busy and might not have time to talk on the phone. Girls get busy just like guys. Don’t get annoyed if she’s never answering the phone. Ditch the mindset where you think she doesn’t want to talk to you. She may not have the time. Most of the time, she’ll be VERY happy to talk to you. There are TWO types of messages you could leave on a machine: Teaser/Call to Action- Do a call-to-action to get her to return your calls. Give something that’ll provide an opportunity for her to call you back. In fact, you can make it a teaser; something that’ll emotionally prompt her to call you back.
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Here is an example, “Hey this is Dave…I just saw the MOST amazing thing…you have to hear this.” A message like this will definitely make her call you back. The other option is to be straight to the point. This is where younothing simply use call-back humor and tell her to call you back, more. Instead of saying, “Hey Tracy, I loved meeting you the other night. We have to go on a date sometime”. Simply say something like: “Hey Borat, this is Dave…Call me back.” Simple but effective!
She Never Calls You Back This is when a girl doesn’t respond to any other your texts or phone calls. I have the mindset that just because a woman doesn’t call back, it doesn’t ALWAYS mean there is no interest there. Sure some will blow you off, but most women have a lot going on in their lives. Don’t give up if she’s not calling you back. Even if she says she will, your response should be “No problem” or “OK, cool”.
If you’re NOT in a relationship with this girl, she owes you NOTHING. You’re still in the “dance of sexual tension.” Sometimes she might do stuff that’s flaky but it’s your job to maintain this tension and not get worked up if she’s not doing her part. Try again 54
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There’s nothing to lose by being a little persistent. Vary the time that you could call her:
Morning, the afternoon . Continue to If pursue fororanight weekor oneven the schedule of every other day. you can’t get in touch, try texting her. Don’t worry about calling a few times. If you feel you have strong internal game, then you won’t look like you have low social value. If you’re communicating value, it won’t matter the amount you’re calling, unless you cross over to being a stalker. Have the mindset that you’re calling to entertain yourself, NOT her. If you don’t hear from her by the end of a week, then it’s probably to move on.You Even if you callingat her, keep her time number around. would bestop surprised the response if you invite a couple of “dead numbers” to a fun event like a Halloween party. You can call the numbers in your phone book that you’ve lost touch with or you can simply send a happy Halloween text to the girls in your book. This can help you start talking to a girl again.
If She’s Always Too Busy If she’s rushed or not talkative, it’s better to call back at a later time. Unless you’re REALLY good at changing a girl’s mood, it won’t help to have a BAD phone conversation. So don’t try to set up a date if she’s not in a receptive mood. If she keeps turning down multiple offers, then it is probably a problem with your game. You probably didn’t fit 55
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HER criteria for someone she wants to date. Your job is to figure out what you’re doing right when you first met her. Some of the reasons she may not be into you are:
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Not matching her dating style (Classic ‘attraction archetype’)
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You have low social value
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You appear too needy or desperate
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You were too quick to ask for her number
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She has a boyfriend
One of the major problems with getting a phone number is the good chance that she won’t call you back or may not be really interested. My solution to this is simple. Make sure you built enough attraction when you first meet a woman.
…make sur e you build enough attraction when you fi rst meet a woman.
If she’s not calling you back, then it’s probably because of a mistake that YOU MADE when you first met her. If this is the case, no amount of cajoling or stalking her will make her call you back. Being busy is NOT an excuse If her perfect ‘dream guy’ life calls up, she would IMMEDIATELY drop what she’s doing. Your job is to convey that you have a HIGH enough status that she wouldn’t hesitate to agree to do something with you.
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Flaking Most men think girls flake out because they’re not attracted. This isn’t true. What happens to most women when they meet an interesting guy is they get “into state” and honestly enjoy the conversation. But these feelings are quickly forgotten when the real world gets in the way. When a guy calls, they now have to fit him in with their everyday lives. They forget the positive fun, feelings they had with this guy.
Think about your average attractive girl. She meets a cool guy and spends some time with him and gives out her number. At the time, she IS interested in him. And she honestly wants to see him in the future. But, the fut
ure is a
“general
” tim e fram
e
When you call for a SPECIFIC date, she now is being asked to mentally locked into a real event. The hard part is that your date idea has to initially beat anything better than sitting around and doing nothing. This isn’t very hard to do. It gets tricky, because she’s meeting LOTS of guys. These guys are going to be asking her out just like you are. She does NOT have time to date 10-15 guys each week. Most of those potential guys are going to lose out. It gets especially difficult when she’s nervous about meeting strange men. She’s not sure if you’re a psycho who will 57
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rape or attack her. If she’s not comfortable, she won’t want to date you. All of this can add up to her looking for reasons to NOT see you. Most women don’t want to be in a socially awkward situation. take into account WHY you’reFurthermore, interested in she her.might Are you desperate? Are you only after sex? Good looking women consistently get validation from the guys they’re dating. Many don’t have those feelings of neediness that guys get. So it’s easy for them to ditch a few, because the have an “abundance mentality”. They know it’s easy to find someone else who will be pursuing them. S om e girl s w il l not respond to your texting/ c al li ng .
This might make you angry. But, NEVER confront this behavior. Don’t leave a message on her machine saying you’re getting annoyed or if you see her, don’t make her feel bad for not responding. This will kill a relationship before it has a chance to really start.
When you contact her again, best solution is to simply NOT TALK ABOUT HER FLAKY your BEHAVIOR. Continue to flirt and have fun with her. Act as if you don’t care that she’s not responding to you. Never lecture her about not responding. Don’t get angry and lose your cool. These actions only make you look weak 58
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and needy. And to be honest, she probably doesn’t really care how you feel. The fault lies within you. If you don’t create enough interest, then it’s YOUR fault that she’s not following up with your plans. No matter what sacrifices you make, it really doesn’t mean anything to her. If she knows you changed around your entire life just to meet her, then you have lowered your social status. As we’ve discussed, the high status guys have LOTS of women vying for his attention. He does NOT arrange his life around a specific girl, NOR does he get upset if one blows him off. He keeps living his life . The best reaction to a woman who acts flaky is to simply tell her it’s okay and you’re going to invite somebody else. Getting angry for her flaky or fickle behavior never works. It makes her feel like she’s being put on the spot, like she has to defend herself.
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Conclusion As I mentioned before, the phone is ONE part of your game. It’s a tool that’ll help you stay in the touch with the women you meet. In order to turn numbers into dates, you have to know how to maintain that sexual tension. Remember you use the phone for two reasons: λ
Re-attraction
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Setting up the date
If you follow the suggestions from this guide, it’ll be easy to spark the chemistry you had when you first met this girl. Then it’s easy to set up a date and work towards a physical relationship. With enough practice, you’ll quickly develop your dating skills. So even if you ‘fail’ with a girl on the phone, you’ve at least gained some experience that you can use for the NEXT girl you call up! Good luck!
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