Wooooah! Stop right there little fella.
Before you even think about reading the killer openers Iʼve got lined up for you below, I first want to run through the most important part of any interaction.
The part that MOST guys fail to even move past.
Can you guess what it is?
Itʼs the OPENER!
Makes sense right?
If you donʼt open, you canʼt build rapport and you wonʼt be able to text or call her, so we need to nail this part before you do anything else.
The sad fact is most men just donʼt have the balls to open which is why they donʼt get laid. They are to scared to approach women because the fear is just too much.
Iʼve spoken to thousands of guys over the years, who have given me various reasons as to why they canʼt approach women...
• “If I approach her, she might reject me” • “She may have a boyfriend and I donʼt want to risk the rejection” • “Thereʼs another girl with her, I donʼt have the guts to approach them both” • “Sheʼs far too pretty, she wouldnʼt like me” • “What if her boyfriend or a guy she knows comes out of nowhere and beats me up?” • “What if a passerby hears me chatting her up and they laugh?”
...I mean some seriously bonkers reasons, why they wonʼt approach. Absolute madness!
But Iʼve got a confession to make...
I used to have the same crippling fear when I started out!
It was so bad that when I stopped a girl, I just froze... nothing would come out and sheʼd walk away thinking I was a crazy person.
After 3 years of practicing and trying to figure out how to approach and open girls, I finally cracked it.
Iʼd developed a foolproof way to approach ANY girl and not get rejected!
And Iʼm going to teach them to you, TODAY.
Once you learn my foolproof openers and put them into practice, youʼll start to get laid a lot. Iʼm not joking, women will respond in ways you canʼt even imagine right now, itʼs extraordinary.
So enough with the ramblings, letʼs move onto the good stuff...
The essential keys to opening What you probably didnʼt know is there are 5 keys to opening correctly.
Once implemented properly, they make sure you donʼt run the risk of rejection and you donʼt kill any attraction stone dead, so itʼs essential you use them.
Here they are...
1. Have the right mindset Your mindset is incredibly important when approaching, this is the very first key.
If you think you will fail, then it will happen... no question. So you have to work on building a strong mindset when approaching.
Be spontaneous and live in the moment - Whether youʼre in a coffee shop or youʼre in a fancy bar, itʼs important that you remember to use spontaneity in your interactions. From the moment you open, be spontaneous and lead her on a journey.
Donʼt worry about what others think around you - If youʼre on the train and you see a cute girl, approach her… donʼt ever let your actions be limited by what you think others may think of you. They wish they could be more outgoing like you, this is why they stare.
Itʼs all about the vibe (playful and sexual) - Set the frame and she will follow your vibe. Once she is comfortable in your presence sheʼll start to open up more and become more playful… even sexual.
Donʼt give up too early - Far too many guys who try day game, give up after a few attempts. You mustnʼt do this, keep plowing through your approaches until you find a girl that sticks, because it will happen.
Enjoy the process (learning) - Every rejection is a learning curve, you have to enjoy the process of learning this craft if you want to become good at it. But hereʼs the thing, it doesnʼt take long to get REALLY good at it.
Using visualization to develop a strong mindset...
Try this little exercise in your mind. Imagine there is a beautiful girl that is your ideal type, you look at her and have a second or so of eye contact, you want to talk to her, but you donʼt, you stand there frozen and the moment passes. Think about how you would feel in that situation.
Now imagine the same situation but this time you approach and she says “sorry Iʼm busy” and turns away. Think about how youʼd feel here. Would you feel good that you actually had the balls to do it? Would you feel good that you at least found out whether it was on or not?
Now imagine you approach and everything goes perfectly and you end up getting laid or having a relationship with that girl (different strokes for different folks). How would you feel then. So now, imagine that you approach 100 girls and assign a likely probability of success. In how many would you get a number? 20%? 60%? Whatever it is, itʼs likely enough to make it worth doing.
How much do you think youʼd learn from 100 approaches? So now, when you are in that situation you know that the benefit of approaching far far outweighs not approaching and you will approach just to avoid that bad feeling of being a wussy that couldnʼt step up.
2. Be prepared The second key to opening is being prepared.
Ideally you see this amazing girl and something pops into your head and itʼs the perfect thing to say for just that girl and that situation. Thatʼs the ideal.
Most of the time though, your mind will be “blank” or racing between different options which you discard one by one as not good enough.
So, pick one opening line that you are comfortable with, that you can use in most situations (not just at the gym when she is on the treadmill going exactly 5mph) and always have that line to fall back on.
I've listed some awesome openers below which you can look at, pick the one you like best, and remember, it doesnʼt have to be perfect, it just has to be good enough.
3. Use a skeleton system The third key to opening is having the skeleton of a system in place so that you know roughly what to do.
Think about the possible responses to your opening line. Think about how you might introduce yourself – “Iʼm Richard by the way” , how you might get the number “I go to some great parties with my friends, you should come sometime and check one out.
Ok cool, put your number in my phone and Iʼll text you next time we go out”, and also, if it makes you feel better, a way to escape if you need it – “itʼs been great speaking to you, but I need to meet some friends, whatʼs the best way of keeping in touch with you”.
4. Kino and body language The fourth key to approaching properly is using the right amount of Kino and body language.
A lot of guys are seriously afraid to use kino, but the reality is if you want to build sexual attraction with a girl, you must use kino from the moment you open her.
When kinoing, just touch her lightly for a split second on the upper arm to let her get used to you touching her. If you think about it, during the day time would be quite strange for a random guy to touch you, so make it seem normal by making it quick.
In the evening at a bar or club, you can touch a lot more and in very sexual places like her legs, stomach and neck which really turns up the heat.
5. Hooking and leading The fifth and last key to approaching a girl is hooking and leading, so you can turn the interaction into a full blown conversation, instant date or a cliffhanger, which means you take the number and call her back later.
Holding her attention in conversation by using hooks and then leading into other topics are surefire ways to keep her interested and talking to you for a long long time.
Your delivery needs to be high energy - Not like a crazy clown, but enough for her to keep focused on what it is youʼre saying.
Move away from the opener quickly - Never stay talking about the opener for long, as soon as she gives you an answer to your question, you should move onto another topic from a hook thrown out during the answer.
Use eye contact to direct attention back to you - When youʼre speaking to someone or even a group and their eyes begin to wander, it means they are thinking of something else and you donʼt have their attention. Next time that happens, move your head around so they catch your eyes and hold that eye contact until you are finished speaking.
Use gestures - Gesturing creates an animated conversation and really hooks the listener, so the more animated you are the more likely she is to remain interested in what youʼre saying.
Listen out for hooks - Sounds obvious but some guys still donʼt listen because they are too focused on thinking of what to say next. Listen to what she is saying and use that to create new hooks, which leads the conversion. Clever stuff!
So there you have it, the 5 essential keys to opening properly. Once you use what Iʼm laid out above, you will see a dramatic change in the way women respond to you... itʼs NUTS!
Now that you understand what you have to be thinking and you should be acting during the open, for it to go well... Iʼm now going to give you my killer openers.
These openers work EVERY TIME... without fail.
They are rejection proof and designed to engage the attention of any girl.
...I do have to warn you though, they are very powerful... so use them carefully :)
My killer openers These are direct, meaning you get straight to the point without wasting time. No in-direct rubbish here.
1. Excuse me can I tell you something? 2. Hey, I just saw you over there and had to come over and tell you that I think youʼre very cute… 3. Ok, so I was going about my day and then I noticed you, which completely threw me off… Hey Iʼm (name) 4. Wow, I love your style… youʼre Swedish right? (Assume her nationality)
5. Excuse me… Iʼm going to be really honest here because I need to be somewhere, I think youʼre absolutely gorgeous and Iʼd love to go for a drink with you sometime, can I get your number? 6. Stop right there, Iʼm sorry but there is no way Iʼm letting you get passed me without saying hello, youʼre just too damn cute (with a cheeky smile). 7. Excuse me, what would you say if I told you youʼre the cutest girl Iʼve seen in the last 5 minutes?
Like those?
If you really want to open in the most rejection proof way, then you've got to learn my stealth attraction techniques... you can do that by going here.
What this guide is about I put this list of openers together a while back when I was first starting out and had it in my head that I needed a sh*t load of PUA openers to reference whenever I wanted. Iʼve found myself dipping in and out of these openers over the years, as a way of training my mind to deal with certain situations. Basically thereʼs like well over fifty openers. If you like took the time to open the 30-50 sets it takes to get really good with an opener with each one youʼd be busy for well over a year. Alright a couple things, Iʼve tried to give credit to the original authors of the opener wherever possible. If you know the source of any (unknown) openers just let me know and and Iʼll update the guide. If Iʼve credited the wrong person also let me know and Iʼll fix that too. Also some of these are just the basic skeleton of the opener and there's probably better versions out there. If you know a fuller version give me a nudge. Enjoy!
Are you shy? By: (unknown) Are you guys shy? Iʼve been standing here talking to my friend for like 5 minutes now and you still havenʼt said ʻhi”. --
Blind date By: (unknown) Walk up to a girl or a group of girls. (no guys in the group preferred you will know what I mean) Say loud and clear, “hey, I need your opinion on something.” “I am going on a blind date with some girl and I am very nervous about it.” “Are there any tips you can give me so I donʼt look like an idiot. I donʼt really know how to dress to impress or act the right way” (Act as AFC as you can to disarm the bitch shield). NOW some girl will just tell you to “be yourself”... you should reply with C&F line or expression. What I did was I made a very serious face and said “like this?” which cracked them up. I then put up the serious face again and said, “I need to know”, and then change to a happy face and said “come on, tell me the secret to girls hearts and how do I dress to impress. If you were going on a blind date, what would you like the guy to look like”. At this point at least one girl would volunteer to give you a few tips, and then more will follow. You can then ask all the questions you want to those girls until they go dry (EV). Or you can run some patterns and move in to your routines. Depends on how well you spin it, you might be able to get one of the girls out shopping with you or more.
The danger of this opener is, they might give you advice to be an AFC, i.e. buy her flowers… blah blah blah. It is your natural ability as an ASFer to filter out the useful info from the AFC ones. I have found a better way to use this opener... When I go out with total NEWBIE guys Iʼll use this opener but make it about the newbie and put him on the spot and into the interaction... this way you donʼt have to come off as an AFC. --
Cologne Opener By: Mystery In a mall put on a different cologne on each wrist and ask girls which one smells better on you. Go back and forth several times between arms and make cute faces when you do. Have something queued up and ready to go immediately afterwards. --
Compliment Opener By (unknown) Compliment her on something sheʼs wearing or her hair or just her style in general. The trick is compliment openers are to never compliment her on her physical beauty. You have an incredibly energy about you, you have an artless grace, thatʼs an incredible whatever-x accessory/garment, etc.
--
Dating For Dummies By: Herbal Go find the Dating for Dummies book in a book shope. Itʼs bright yellow and black. I forget the exact page (78 maybe?), but find the page that has “NEVER USE THESE LINES” on it, and keep the book open on that page. Walk up to a girl BLATANTLY and hold the book up in front of your face so she can easily read the title. She might start laughing, depending on how you do it. Then slowly lower the book and read the lines. “So... come here often” in a super player voice. She will crack up and answer you. Break your “smooth” look on your face and quickly bring the book back up and read the next line “Whatʼs your sign?”. She will laugh again and probably answer. Then I usually say “Wow... this works great. Your turn”. It puts her on the spot. You can flip to random pages and do tons of role-play... the breaking up stuff is great. Eventually just stack with a relationship related opener, and youʼre in. Iʼve done this a ton of times and it never fails to open. --
Direct Openers By: Various Hi, I like you and Iʼd like to get to know you.
Hey, Whatʼs up? Where are you going? Youʼre cute, are you friendly/interesting? You guys are so adorable. You have such a cute group dynamic going on. I want to meet you guys. My name is x-name... How are you? You look like someone Iʼd like to meet. etc... (I have a lot of successes with these on girls that are HB7 and lower or older women). --
Dental Floss Opener By: Style And Mystery Hey guys, I need to get your opinion on something. Itʼs very important, and we need a womanʼs perspective. Itʼs a matter of life and death.. My friend and I were having a debate and your answer could completely change my entire life…. Do you brush before flossing or floss before brushing? No one knows… --
Don’t Touch Me Opener By: David DeAngelo When a girl bumps into you in a crowded club tap her on the shoulder and say “donʼt touch me”... have something to immediately follow up with. --
Drug Dealer Opener By: Love Systems Used with a wing at night, with funny, just-got-done-laughing tonality. “Hey, I need your opinion on something… does my friend here look like a drug dealer?” (chicks usually either laugh or look quizzically) “Because we were outside and some dude came up to him and touched him on the shoulder like this... (cheap kino the girl) and asked, ʻHey man, you got some E?ʼ” Ideally you will use this with a wing who doesnʼt look too straight-laced. Iʼve done this where my wing will open with this and Iʼll pipe in with: “Since Iʼve changed my look I get asked, “do I party” like all the time. I think theyʼre looking for cocaine. Another thing Iʼve noticed is about 10 times a night Iʼll get someone coming up to me and asking “can I bum a cigarette”... I donʼt smoke but Iʼm seriously considering carrying around a pack... but not like regular cigarettes... like Virginia Slims 120s... then Iʼll just pull one out and hand it to the guy and heʼll be all like “WTF?” etc…” --
Eighties Music Opener By: Twentysix Hey guys, help me out, Iʼve have this song stuck in my head ALL day and I canʼt remember who sings it. it goes “you spin me right round baby right round like a record player right round, round round, etc….” who sings that??? (blah, blah, blah)
I was talking to my mum earlier today and she said its Lionel Richie... but I KNOW that isnʼt right! Then later in the night you can like reopen with “Dead or Alive…” This works with any one hit wonder 80s music. --
Elvis Opener By: Mystery Did you know that Elvis dyed his hair black? What was his natural hair color? Dirty Blond. Did you know that Priscilla Presley also dyed her hair? I donʼt know what her natural hair color was, Iʼm not Cliff Claven, but can you picture that these two every couple of weeks would dye their hair black together around a dirty sink in some sick mass-appealing ceremonial ritual? I bet people never considered that before... did you? Alternative: Did you know that all Elvis had to do to get a shag was look directly into the girlʼs eyes and smile? Then look into the chickʼs eyes and smile. --
Expensive Clothes Opener By: (unknown) “Hey guys, I need a female opinion... we were at Saks today, and there were all these $600 collared tee-shirts... when chicks see guys wearing six bill shirts like that, do they
think its classy or try-hard?” (Thatʼs the skeleton obviously use your own speaking mannerisms)… Then you can use what info and opinions they give you to bust on them, using all the usual stuff. --
Fat Elvis Opener By: Wilder “Hey guys, if you were going to hire an Elvis impersonator for your friendʼs birthday party, would you hire a young Elvis or a Fat Elvis?” Blah, blah, blah. (if she says young Elvis bust on her for being shallow) Get this, my roommate lived in Graceland for a year and he said the craziest thing. He told me that the fat Elvis impersonators always got the hottest chicks, and the young Elvisʼs were always alone. I couldnʼt believe it at first, but I thought about it, and it kinda makes sense. I guess women just lose all control when the see a fat Elvis impersonator doing “hunka hunka burninʼ love.” --
Khaki Opener By: Superfly “Hey, guys, my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys, and got into an argument… is khaki a color or a fabric?” The correct answer is that khaki is a color, and most girls know this.
You can go into, “See, I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!” then fire into your next routine…” --
Kino Openers By: Tyler Durden Pushing girls, grabbing drinks out of their hands, lightly hip checking them, snapping bra straps, grabbing hats off heads, poke her, tap the opposite shoulder, etc…(these require no memorization are easy for newbies) --
Mystery’s ESP Opener By: Mystery Walk up to a girl and say, “Do you believe in ESP?” Remember to SMILE or you may startle her. “Just think of the first number that pops into your head from one to four. Donʼt say it. Just think it... now take that number and imagine that it is drawn on a blackboard in your head. Have you done that?” She says OK “Whatʼs so neat about imagination is... we both have it... on the blackboard, I see the number... three.” Whether you get it right or not, reply with... “Alright, lets try this one more time. This time think of a different number from one to 10. Got it? Picture it in white chalk on the blackboard... you are thinking of the number... 7.”
If you got the first wrong and the second right, you look like you finally got it... a 1 in 10 chance. If you get BOTH right (a 90% chance seeing as it is a psychological trick where most north Americans naturally choose 3 and 7 as their first picks) thatʼs a 1 in 40 chance... “and of course I donʼt stake my reputation on mere chance.” If you get the first right but the second wrong or both wrong, say... “PROOF! ESP does NOT exist!” Then start to laugh like this “Mooa ha ha ha ha ha ha! And you believe in ESP!” a good neg hit to start. If she mentions that most people pick 3 and 7 (most girls wont know this though) just say, “really? Hmm... didnʼt know that... thank you Cliff Claven.” (From Cheers) If you take the wording I have and do this EXACTLY as stated, you will be surprised HOW well you will do. When they ask HOW, tell them... I DONʼT KNOW. Tell her you can SEE the numbers on your imaginary blackboard. This is NOT a trick. You hate magicians. If she wants you to do this again, tell her... “donʼt be greedy now.” Speaking of greedy... if a girl kisses you on the cheek and goes to kiss your other cheek, tell her, “Only one... donʼt be greedy.” This is a good NEG HIT. Mild but a neg hit nonetheless. If she says, “Yes, but Iʼm French”, you reply, “Are all French girls as greedy as you?” --
Female Room Mates Opener By: Tenmagnet and Tyler Durden “Iʼve been offered this SWEET place in (x place).. I want to live there, BUT I have to live with FOUR girls. Like FOUR. Iʼm going to get 4 times the boyfriend complaints; Iʼll never get in the fucking bathroom... Iʼm gonna have to start showering at the truck stop, and you KNOW theyʼre gonna
synchronize. (Smile knowingly) Heck, Iʼll probably start MY period. Iʼm going to have to leave the house for 5 days a month! Did you know thatʼs why primitive civilizations developed camping? All the women in the tribe would synchronize and the guys would look up at the moon and be like “The antelope are moving now, we must HUNT”. Also... living with all those girls, I could get RAPED. Did you know that 95% of guys that get date raped commit suicide within 6 months? Girls are such sexual predators... (sexual predator routine stuff below).” --
Glasses On Or Off Opener By: Twentysix Approach girls and say “Glasses off (take glasses off) or glasses on (put glasses on), what do you guys think looks better? HBʼs: (Responses: On!/Off!/What?/Laughing) Glasses off (take off glasses) and glasses on (put on glasses) (I did the sequence any where from 2 to 4 times). HB 1: I like them on! HB 2: I like them off! (If HBs disagree then they usually started laughing… I guess they think itʼs funny that they have different opinions). “My friends tell me I look like Clark Kent when I have the glasses on!” HBʼs: (Responses: Yeah you do! / No)
“Why do you like it when my glasses are on/off?” HB 1: (When likes glasses on) I think it makes you look sexy/it makes you look clever. HB 2: (When likes glasses off) I think you look better with them off, but I like them on too! You get the idea… it opens the group. Hereʼs another way I introduced the opener: Approach Girls 26... “I need your opinion. Do I look better with my glasses off (take glasses off) or with my glasses on (put glasses on). (I put like a fun/playful face on). *Run with the rest of the opener above. Trouble shooting - If a girl asks you to put them on and off too many times I would do one of the following: Iʼd put them on and off again, but act goofy (make faces…whatever) – Oh my god. Again? (Playful). Then Iʼd do it again (donʼt know if this is a good idea, what do you guys think?) Say to the girl who didnʼt ask: Wow. Is she always like this? Takes a long time to make decisions? --
I’m Lost Opener By: Tyler Durden
“Iʼm lost... I canʼt find my friends and Iʼm scared... Remember when we were kids and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted... and you said ʻwant to be my friend?ʼ Do you guys want to be my NEW friend?” --
Introduction Opener By: (unknown) PUA: (grab unsuspecting SHB by the arm and point at a random dude) “OMG, that guy is PERFECT for you – let me introduce you!!” (start moving towards the guy) SHB: What?! No.. NONONO.. haha.. Help! PUA: (to guy) This girl is so shy, but she really wanted to meet you! SHB: (Giggeling hysterically) Nonono... its not true! (Fleeing) PUA: Awww come on... donʼt be shy... Both girls were very hot and totally stuck up before I did this. Both of them came back and talked to me several times during the evening, to tell me how crazy I was… --
Mr. Big Opener By: Dr. Paul “Hey guys, do you watch Sex and the City?? I was just talking to those girls over there and they told me I remind them of “Mr. Big” is that good or bad? (ooooohhh we LOVE Mr Big!!)
--
Never Be A Couple Opener By: (unknown) “Aww – you are soo cute... but you make me SO SAD!” HB: WHY? (pause with puppy dog face) “Cos we could NEVER EVER be a couple!” HB: WHYYY?? Nooo... we are too similar... IMAGINE, we would be SO IN LOVE... and the next moment, we would be fighting and screaming and throwing things... and then we would have HOT MAKE UP SEX all over the place... and then fight, makeup sex, fight, make up sex... after a week we would both be in psychiatric care due to emotional drainage!” --
Pick Up Chicks Opener By: (unknown) Just open with “Hi, weʼre picking up chicks”... its C&F --
Pimp Names Opener By: jlaix
“Guys guys... Iʼm coming up with a pimp name for myself, which is better: “d-licious dogg”? or “deacon dr. rockafella”? Oh cool... shit, you need one too... Iʼll call you “devious honey g sweetness”… --
Primp Opener By: Harmless First, here is the frame youʼre using for this opener: “Youʼre CUTE... but Iʼm going to make you a ROCKSTAR!” This is, in fact, the exact wording I used to open Schematicʼs HB9 on Saturday night. I opened her and I let him take over and #close her. (He should have gotten more. Bad schematic. Oh well, Iʼll call her later. Maybe) You donʼt even need to say anything to open, so this works in the loudest clubs. You walk up, of course making sure to keep your BL under control. (Shoulders away, etc.) You check her out then make a face like you arenʼt happy with what you see. Then you hold your hands out like youʼre judging her style. You move in SLOWLY, pick some article of clothing (hat, shirt, etc. Best if itʼs upper body or head) and PRIMP it. Take her hat and TWIST it ever so slightly. Now, back away, lean back, look her over, and give her a thumbs up. “NOW youʼre a ROCKSTAR!” Continue with push/pull if you wish... “But wait…” and twist the hat back the other way. If she touches her hat, bust her for messing it up.
Tell her sheʼs allowed to be seen with you now, and promenade her around the club. --
Rich Opener By: Herbal, Tyler Durden Came up with this one the other night at a club. When opening a set, walk up and ask, “Which one of you is the richest?”. Then go into the whole “Ok, you get to be my sugar mama, then. But hmm... we need someone to cook for us, who is the best cook?” routine. Pretty fun and opens easily. To give credit where credit is due, itʼs just a variation on “Are you rich?”, which I think TD came up with. --
Ricki Lake Opener By: Mystery Method This one is used to wing your buddy, especially if heʼs in a two-set and the obstacle needs to be kept occupied. “Hey, my friend here just got invited to be on the Ricki Lake show. But the theme of the show is Secret Admirers. They told him heʼs got an admirer, but he wonʼt find out whom until heʼs live on the set. So maybe itʼll be someone cute, but maybe not; it might even be a guy. What would you do if you were him?” --
Seattle Girlfriend Opener By: Tyler Durden
“Hey guys, I need an opinion. My friend met this girl in Seattle, and they really hit it off. They wound up hooking up on the first night, and he even hung out with her in L.A. over the next week. So heʼs up visiting her in Seattle last week, and theyʼre out on a walk. He takes a few pictures of them together. Like really cute ones with them together. Some of them theyʼre just hanging out, and a few of them theyʼre like kissing or whatever while theyʼre out walking. Anyway, the next morning he wakes up, and checks his camera. He looks at the pictures, and he sees that sheʼs woken up before him and gone into it and deleted the pictures where theyʼre kissing, and left the ones where theyʼre just hanging out. He goes to her and says ʻAre you psycho? Why are you going into my camera?ʼ She says its because she thought she looked bad in the pictures, and didnʼt want him to have them. But he canʼt figure out if sheʼs psycho or if its legit that for girls they just hate having pictures out there where she doesnʼt look good. He just really liked them because he likes her and doesnʼt judge the pics like that.” The girls will either say: “Itʼs totally natural. I hate it when pictures make me look bad, especially with a digital camera where you can just delete them and take more.” (They also sometimes say “But heʼs only known her a few months. I wouldnʼt do that on a guy I just met.”) Or “She has a boyfriend!” Your immediate reply would be “He doesnʼt care about that. Heʼs busy. He just doesnʼt want her deleting his pics! ”
--
Sexy Monkey Opener By: Tenmagnet “Do you think Curious George is a sexy monkey? ʻCuz my little cousin was watching Curious George on TV yesterday, heʼs two and a half and he pointed at the screen and said “Sexy Monkey”. Like WTF?!? I didnʼt teach him that... NO REALLY I DIDNʼT Heʼs been hanging around with that Michael Jackson guy again.” --
Simpsons Opener By: Gunwitch “Hey do you ever watch The Simpsons? Why has Marge never left Homer, I mean sheʼs a sexy bitch and heʼs a deadbeat who fucks up all the time. At this point you can just go on and talk about The Simpsons for a while.” --
Sleep With Jesus Opener By: Pnutt “This may sound like a weird question, but would you sleep with Jesus? Like ok. Itʼs the year of 25 and your sitting at a bar in Jerusalem and this dude Jesus walks over and he sits down next to you. He orders you a water and turns it into wine. Would you have sex with him?”
(blah, blah, blah) “if thereʼs one guy to have a one night stand with, its Jesus!” if its a mixed set, you use it on the guy: “if thereʼs one guy to be gay with, its Jesus!” --
Spells Opener By: Mystery Method “Do you think spells work?” Sometimes this will send the woman off on a long blab, but if the conversation needs to be kept going, the follow-up routine is: “The reason Iʼm asking is because my friend over there met a girl in a club last week. He wasnʼt interested in her sexually, because she wasnʼt really his type.” (Here the woman might say “Sure,” in which case you reply “No, really!” and touch her arm or waist.) “Anyway, she hung out at his house and after she left, he found a metal ring wrapped around a scroll and some feathers under his couch. Well, he took it to a magick store and they said it was an attraction spell. And now, the strange thing is, he canʼt stop thinking of her. Do you think itʼs the spell or just psychological?” --
Tattoo Opener By: (unknown)
“Hey guys, would you ever get a Tattoo? Hereʼs the deal…my nineteen-year-old sister wants to get her boyfriends name tattooed on her shoulder.” Her: No, no donʼt let her do it “See thatʼs the problem sheʼs really strong headed and when I tell her not to get the tattoo it just makes her want to get it even more. How do I deal with that and let her really know its mistake?” --
Text Message Break Up Opener By: (unknown) “Is it OK to breakup with someone with a text message?” (Then make up a good backstory for this) --
Twin Brothers Opener By: Ross Jeffries “Youʼre at a party or a club and you meet twin brothers; they are absolutely identical, physically. ONE of them has the best hands of any guy youʼve ever met. The other is an incredible dancer. Which one do you pick?
Same scenario. Again, the two guys are identical. One makes you laugh more than anyone youʼve ever met. The other is the most incredible kisser you could ever in a lifetime encounter. Which one do you pick? Same scenario: One guy has more money than Bill Gates. The other makes you feel like you are the most beautiful, desirable woman who ever walked the face of the planet. Which do you pick?” (Itʼd probably be best to make up some sort of back-story for this) --
Webbed Feet Opener By: Nilatak “Hey guys... would you date a guy with webbed feet??” “I had a summer job at x supermarket and there was this guy I used to work with that had webbed feet. He would always complain that he couldn't get a girlfriend. He needed to stuff his shoes with cotton so they would fill up and he would always walk on the tips of his feet. People used to call him ʻTwinkle Toesʼ!” They usually ask if itʼs me or my wing and I just bust out with “Nawwww… Iʼm DINKY PENIS!” --
Who Lies More Opener By: Chris Rock version “Hey guys, I need a female opinion... who lies more Guys or Girls??
The way I see it, girls that tell the small lies like “youʼre ass doesnʼt look fat in those pants” but girls... they tell the big ones... like... “Its your baby!”
Conclusion So thatʼs the list! Hope you enjoyed them. If you have any others of your own that you think need to be added let me know. Speak to you soon,
Richard (Gambler)
