slave Training Programs
Beginning Beginnin g Training Training The following is taken from a presentation given on March 9, 2002. It was given to a Dominants-only group, ut the information elow is a goo! starting point for oth Doms"Masters an! sus"slaves. Note: #Dom# or #Dominant# will e use! to mean Dominant, Top an!"or Master, #su# or #sumissive# will e use! to mean sumissive, ottom an!"or slave. Developing sub/slave Training Programs: Opening Statement: It is an awesome responsiility when someone asks you to train them. $ovice Dominants often %ump at the chance to prove their prowess without thinking aout the time commitment an! the entire scenario. This often lea!s to a mismatch in personalities an! e&pectations. These un!etecte! mismatches lea! to training !isasters, hurt feelings an! tarnishe! reputations. In training situations, the Dominant hol!s the primary responsiility res ponsiility.. 'art of taking responsiility as a principle trainer is knowing what your personal e&pectations are. (hat, e&actly, !o you want to get out of the situation) Then clearly communicating these e&pectations to the sumissive. 'resent these e&pectations in early !iscussions an! negotiations. It shoul! e restate! in the form of a written training contract. *o, ask yourself two +uestions /m I willing to train for training sake) 2 (hat !o I want to get out of this) now what your e&pectations are efore entering into a training contract. Training Phases: *umissive training can e roken !own into two phases The /ssessment 'hase an! the Training 'rogram. The /ssessment 'hase !etermines If 1ou 1ou want to train a particular su 2 The answers gathere! !ictate the overall !irection an! structure of the training program. Assessments: Assessing Tendencies: It is e+ually important to !etermine the e&pectations an!"or natural prepon!erance of the sumissive. *ome sus are hesitant to share this information. If they are attracte! to 1ou, 1ou, they may not want to %eopar!ie the chance to get to know 1ou 1ou etter. etter. *ome honestly won3t know what to e&pect from a training session. The following is a techni+ue presente! in Miss /ernathy3s ooks. 4sing simple
+uestion"answer +uies can help reveal ten!encies. They aren3t always 005 accurate, ut for the most part they are revealing an! useful. Assessing Obedience & Willingness: Willingness: 6e+uire written assignments. Make sure these assignments have a clear completion !ea!line. If a su"slave won3t oey or work with 1ou 1ou or complete the assignments y a reasonale !ea!line, they will never make it through a serious training program. 7ollowing !irections is a critical part of any training an! the written assignment e&ercises reveal their willingness to comply. If they fail consistently, !o not go forwar! with the training. This re+uirement will save 1ou hours of waste! time an! energy. The first three assignments *tart with Miss /ernathy3s /ernathy3s 8ui 2 Minute 8ui start a slave3s %ournal. Assessing Openness: Imme!iately place the trainee un!er a full !isclosure policy. 4n!er this rule 1ou 1ou test the aility of the sumissive to e open an! honest. It is also an information gathering tool for structuring training tr aining an! play. 4se this carefully. Depen!ing on the type of training, re+uire an accounting of se&ual preferences :monogamous"poly relationships, fantasies, past encounters in the ;D*M worl!, an accounting of things that have gone wrong an! things that have gone right. /t this %uncture 1ou 1ou are getting an i!ea of fears, fears , limits an! !etermining strengths. It is e+ually important to know oth spoken limitations an! physiological limitations. This may come out in intimate !iscussions. is!s Assessing "ealth is!: $ever emark on a training program of this type type without assessing health risks to 1ou 1ou or 1o 1our trainee. *it !own an! have a heart to heart talk aout health issues. Assessing Wor! is!: If a sumissive is employe!, e sure to look at the impact such a training program will have on the trainee3s work environment.
Assessing #imits and ange: It3s important to get an i!ea of the range an! limits of 1our 1our play partner. Training 'ontracts: ;y the time 1ou have finishe! this type of assessment 1ou have an i!ea if 1ou want to work with this trainee. $ow is the time to consi!er the !epth an! time frame that 1ou 1ou will spen! with someone. The Training Program: =ere, we egin use the information gathere! from the assessment phase. Divi!e the programming into two categories ;asic Training 2 /!vance! Training
;asic Training is meant to lay a foun!ation of e&pectations, protocol an! rituals to focus the sumissive on the Dominant3s nee!s an! style of *M. Basic Training: su"slaves 'resentation - estalishing how a sumissive will ehave towar! 1ou 1ou an! >others. Forms of Address:
1) How to address and communicate with You 2) Forms of addressing others 3) silent communication communication Forms of Service:
1)How are You to be served under different conditions 2) High protocol, moderate protocol, scene etiquette or relaxed service 3) nswer ! "hen, where, how Forms of Posture
How to handle Yourself within a situation
2 ?evels of *ervice This is !ictate! y what it is 1ou 1ou want from a situation. Is housekeeping an issue) is sue) ?aun!ry) *e&ual service) Do 1ou 1ou micromanage) /ny /ny answer is appropriate. #indfulness #indfulness ! $o matter what the level of service, it should be done with mindfulness toward the %ominant& 'reate a time limit for chores and assignments to be completed& (tart off with a rigid schedule& rain how You expect services to be performed& *f You haven+t trained properl, then it is Your fault if something isn+t done to Your satisfaction& -ive clear instructions about all areas of training
'layfulness >ur lifestyle is aout naughty fun an! !eca!ent ehavior. ;e serious when its time to e serious an! have fun when its time to have fun. Have sexual fun 'reate fantasies and explore the limits that have been set *nitiate new pla slowl and .eep a sense of humor& *f things don+t wor. out, laugh about it and discuss it
@ ;egin to estalish trust an! limits y eing consistent in 1our 1our training techni+ues
Dom%s (ui) I am intereste! in $umber /0!)
*tem
for our house future relationship
House (ervant ! (omeone to clean, coo. or care (ex artner ! sex slave ! no expectations about ersonal ssistant ! personal #aid or 4alet n 5scort ! companion for events and travel rained or raining
Miss Abernathy's Abernathy's sub Quiz: Quiz:
a.en from 6raining "ith #iss bernath7 "or.boo. for 5rotic (laves and heir 8wners6 b 'hristina bernath 5xercise7 *magine ou are a live!in slave, serving our ideal %ominant& "hat would our life be li.e9 'hoose the answer that most closel fits our dream& 1& a& b& c& d&
t : a&m& * am suddenl awa.ened b&&& #istress+s bell& #istress+s foot& the alarm cloc.& the wa.e!up call&
2& a& b& c& d&
*t+s time to get dressed& * am dressed in&&& m uniform& nothing& an apron& a suit&
3& a& b& c& d&
*f it+s a bus da& * spend the morning&&& mending #aster+s riding breeches& pleasuring #aster& cleaning the hall closet& attending #aster as he tours the cit&
;& a& b& c& d&
ime for lunch< * eat&&& in the sitting room& off #istress+s boot& whenever * get a minute& in a nice little cafe #istress li.es&
&he best thing about being a slave is&&& a& being close to #aster& b& the sex& c& feeling useful& d& experiencing new things& :& a& b& c& d&
# m m m m
strong point is&&& .nowledge of fashion& sex appeal& organi=ational s.ills& people s.ills&
>& he hardest part of being a slave is&&&
&
a& b& c& d&
finding time to .eep mself loo.ing good& getting m intellectual needs met& the details, all the little details& being on show all the time&
?& a& b& c& d&
fter dinner&&& #aster reads the paper while * polish his shoes& we retire to the boudoir& * do the dishes& we+re off to the theater with the @oneses&
A& ime for bed& * must&&& a& la out #istress+s outfit for tomorrow& b& ma.e mself available in case #istress wants a massage& c& review tomorrow+s menu& d& get some sleep after pleasuring #istress& *+ve got to loo. m best& 10& * dream about&&& a& being allowed to accompan #aster on a drive& b& the da #aster lets me masturbate for him& c& a nice long bubble bath and an intimate dinner out with #aster& d& Bust staing home one wee.end and relaxing& #iss bernath+s (coring (stem7 ! he questionnaires+ answers point to tendencies& +s ! (ervice oriented C+s ! (ex (ervitude '+s ! ersonal ssistants %+s ! 5scorts dd up the +s, C+s, '+s and %+s and ou have tendenc ranges&
If you chose mostly :a answers, you may e a goo! o!y servant :la!y3s mai! or valet. 1ou 1ou value intimacy with the !ominant aove all else. 1ou 1ou are aware a ware of the importance of your physical appearance, an! you like to help others look their est. 1ou 1ou like personal attention from the !ominant an! are ar e prou! of any trust s"he places in you. If you chose mostly : answers, you are proaly most intereste! I in eing a se& slave. 1ou 1ou are a highly se&ual person with consi!erale g stamina, an! you pri!e yourself on your se&ual techni+ue. (hile most slaves en%oy some se&ual attention, the erotic si!e of slavehoo! is your what you en%oy en% oy.. If you chose mostly :c answers, you are est suite! to e a housekeeper an!"or cook. 1ou 1ou are very ver y organie! an! have consi!erale management skills. 1ou 1ou are comfortale !ealing with visitors ut are you3re %ust as happy ehin! the scenes. If you chose mostly :! answers, you want to e an escort. 1ou 1ou have an attractive attract ive personality an! e&cellent communication skills. 1ou 1ou en%oy meeting new people an! serving in pulic. 1ou 1ou !on3t min! if some people think you3re the Dominant3s loverA the two of you know the truth aout your relationship. ;esi!es, you3re very !iscreet. $ow, of course there will e a mi& of answers. *econ!ary scores are also important. Three *inute (ui):
This e&ercise is use! to reveal initial impressions an! limitations. It !oes not mean that these stay s tay that way or that they are inten!e! to e serious locks for 1ou. 1ou. =ave the su write out the first answer she thinks of within a 2 to minute time frame. They have to finish the entire +ui. I am most prou! of BBBBBBBBBBBB My favorite ook is BBBBBBBBBBBB BBBBBBBBBBBB (hen I3m alone I like to BBBBBBBBBBB I3ve ha! a har! time getting over BBBBBBBBBB The thing I like est aout myself is BBBBBBBBBB The one thing I can3t stan! is BBBBBBBBBB I have a right to BBBBBBBBB I am most ashame! of BBBBBBBBBB I3m not sure that I can BBBBBBBBBB My spiritual life is est !escrie! as BBBBBBBBBB "ealth (uestionnaire:
Do you have any !ietary restrictions) /re you allergic to anything) :*cene materials as well as common allergies Do you wear contact lenses or glasses) Dental ri!ges or hearing ai!s) Do have any in%uries that can keep you from service or play type training) :$eck, ack, knee in%uries Do you have any ongoing illnesses or chronic prolems) (hat type of me!ications or treatments !o you take for these) Make a list of all the vitamins, heral or nutritional supplements your take) (hen was your last loo! test an! physical) (ill you e willing to take a loo! test or physical) Do you use recreational !rugs :inclu!ing alcohol or toacco) (hat) =ow >ften) Do you have any a!!ictions or are you struggling with an a!!iction) /re you recovering from an a!!iction) /re you clean an!"or soer) =ow long) =ave you suffere! from ause as a chil!) /s an a!ult) :'hysical, veral, psychological, se&ual, spiritual If so, are there any triggers that can cause you trauma now) Do you ause others, or have ause! others, in the past) =ow have you a!!resse! these prolems) =ave you ever ha! any type of se&ually transmitte! !isease) =ow was it, or is it, eing treate!) Another (uestionnaire
;elow is a list that I gathere! from information re+ueste! from My est frien! >fficer (es3 (e s3 petition for a slave"leather oy. oy. I have change! things where appropriate. I !i! not e&pect that petitioners answer every single +uestion when respon!ing to this +uestionnaire, ut it seeme! like a goo! place to start to see how much interest they really ha! an! to give Me an i!ea of what they were like. If you woul! like to answer this +uestionnaire, please look through My we site efore respon!ing, so you have an i!ea of what I am intereste! in. It was not part of the original presentation, ut I felt it was appropriate to a!! at this %uncture.
$ame :first, mi!!le, last /!!ress If the aove is not an /ustin-area a!!ress, can you come to /ustin on a once- or twice-monthly asis) If not, please e&plain any limitations :financial inaility, care taking commitment, etc. 'hone numer Date of irth =ighest e!ucation complete!. 6eligious upringing C current spiritual preference. (hat !o you seek in a Master"slave relationship) (hat are some of your favorite se&ual fantasies) ive Me the roa! overall picture. >utsi!e of work an! se&ual interests, what leisure activities !o you en%oy :movies, sports, games, etc.) (hat rings you the most emotional %oy) Do you en%oy any !omestic activities ac tivities in particular :cooking, gar!ening, laun!ry, laun!ry, etc.) Do you have any particular creative talents) (hat woul! you ring to My family) fa mily) Do you have a prolem with calling your Master #*ir# at all times) /fter a relationship has egun, are you willing to e&press your situation, !istresses, an! reservations when aske!) Do you live with someone) If so, what is the nature of this relationship) Is there any reason why you woul! not e ale to commit 005 as a slave :past, present or future reason) 6ace =eight (eight en!er
(hen woul! you e availale to visit with 4us) ?ist any other su%ects or topics you feel are relevant to this +uestionnaire. submissive Training
*tart training your sumissive early on. (hile ol! #!ogs# can e taught new tricks, what3s learne! earliest, is often learne! +uickest an! easiest. Moreover, the ol!er the #!og#, the more a! haits will likely nee! to e #un-learne!#. (hen it comes to raising an! training a sumissive, an ounce of prevention is certainly worth a poun! of cureE 2 Train your sumissive gently an! humanely, an! whenever possile, teach him"her using positive, motivational metho!s. eep oe!ience sessions upeat so that the training process is en%oyale for all parties involve!. If training your su is a !ru!gery, !ru!gery, rev things up a it, an! try the #play #pla y training# approach incorporate constructive, non-a!versarial games :such as #o 7in!#, #=i!e 3n3 *eek#, retrieving, etc. into your training sessions. Does your su treat you like #hire! help# at home) Does s"he treat you like a human gymnasium when you3re sitting on the furniture) Does s"he eg at the tale) Fump up on visitors) Deman! De man! your attention y annoying you to !eath) Ignore your comman!s) =ow well your sumissive respon!s to you at home affects his"her ehavior out!oors as well. If your sumissive sumissive !oesn3t respon! relialy to comman!s at home :where !istractions are relatively minimal, s"he certainly won3t respon! to you properly out!oors where s"he3s tempte! y other things. @ /voi! /voi! giving your sumissive comman!s that you know you cannot enforce. Gvery time you give a comman! that is neither complie! with nor enforce! your sumissive learns that comman!s are optional. H >ne comman! shoul! e+ual one response, so give your sumissive only one comman! :twice ma&E, then gently enforce it. 6epeating comman!s tunes your sumissive out :as !oes nagging an! teaches your sumissive that the first several comman!s are a #luff#. 7or instance, telling your sumissive, #*it, sit, sit, sitE#, is neither an efficient nor effective way to issue comman!s. *imply give your sumissive a single #*it# comman! an! gently place or lure your sumissive into the #sit# position, then praise or rewar!. /voi! /voi! giving your sumissive comine! comman!s which are incompatile. TG Many Dominants complain complain that their sumissives are #stuorn#, an! that they #refuse to listen# when given a comman!. ;efore laming the sumissive when
s"he !oesn3t respon! to a comman!, one must !etermine whether or not a the sumissive knows what the Dominant wants s"he knows how to comply comply c s"he is not simply eing unresponsive !ue to fear, stress or confusion. K (henever possile, use your sumissive3s s umissive3s name positively, rather than using it in con%unction to repriman!s, warnings or punishment. 1our 1our sumissive shoul! trust that when s"he hears his"her name or is calle!, goo! things happen. his"her name shoul! always e a wor! s"he respon!s to with enthusiasm, never hesitancy or fear. 9 T work. 0 (hen training >ne3s sumissive, whether praising or correcting, goo! timing is essential. Take the following e&le 1ou 1ou3ve 3ve prepare! a platter of hors !3oeuvres for a small !inner party, which you3ve left on your kitchen counter. 1ou 1ourr sumissive walks into the room an! smells the hors !3oeuvres. s"he air-sniffs, then eyes the foo!, an! is poise! to gra one off the platter efore it3s serve!. This is the est, easiest an! most effective time to correct your sumissive efore s"he3s misehave!, while s"he3s thinking aout stealing the foo!. >ften, Dominants ina!vertently reinforce their sumissive3s misehavior, y giving their sumissive lots of attention :aleit negative attention when they misehave. $ee!less to say, if 1o 1our sumissive receives lots of attention an! han!ling when s"he %umps up on you, that ehavior is eing reinforce!, an! is therefore likely to e repeate!. 2 eep a li! on your anger. $ever train your sumissive when you3re feeling grouchy or impatient. Garning your sumissive3s respect is never accomplishe! y yelling, hitting, or han!ling your sumissive in a harsh manner. Moreover, fear an! stress inhiit the learning process. Two other items that were inclu!e! in the presentation, 9 ?evels of sumission an! sumission an! sumissive ;D*M checklist, I have not inclu!e! here ecause they can e foun! elsewhere on my we site. /n a!!itional e&cerpt from another of *iren *iren33s sumissive Training (orkshop :L 2002 Ms *iren goes on to !iscuss the intonations of your voice The tone of voice is an often use! an! un!erestimate! powerful element in training your sumissive. >f course you recall one of the most infamous statements in every parent3s repertoire, #Don3t take that tone with me.# Tone of voice e&presses moo!, intent, meaning an! !esires of the speaker. *tu!ies in!icate that tone of voice is a ma%or contriutor in helping us to un!erstan! the spoken wor!, phrase an! sentence.
voice attache! to the !escription of sarcasm or using my est #e!room voice#. (e take for grante! the power of tone of voice, until we see it in action.
The sentence is clear, concise an! easy to un!erstan!, right) ;ut wait, what !oes it really mean) Take a moment an! rerea! that sentence out lou!... seven times. Gach time put an accent on a !ifferent wor!, for instance, !i!n3t say..., I DDN%T say..., I !i!n3t SA-.... =ow many !ifferent meanings or e&pressions of intent !i! you !iscover) *even) 1ou 1ou are correct. ;ecause of the use of tone, that one sentence change! meaning seven times. This is an e&le of why the casually written wor! is often misun!erstoo!, an! the reason tone is so important in getting your message across to others. The power of intonation has a significant impact when training your sumissive, in a positive an! less than positive manner. Tone Tone is use! appropriately when it is consistent with the circumstances at han!.
