Six Stupid Things People Do to Mess Up Their Lives 2011-05-30

Six Stupid Things People DoT Do To Mess Up Their Lives

Six Stupid Things People Do To Mess Up There Lives

Copyright © 2010 by Jonathan Figaro. All Rights Reserved. For more inormation, visit jonathan[email protected] visit jonathan[email protected] Try And Steal This And I Will Find You :) enjoy the read!

Brainless Table o Contents

Silly Introduction…….………... Introduction…….……….................. ................………………………………………………5 .………………………………………………5 Stupid Optomisum…………………….... Optomisum……………………................... .........................……………………… ..........…………………………..…8 …..…8 Crazy Success…….…………..…... Success…….…………..…................. ............................. .............................. ...............…………………..22 …………………..22 Screwball Dreams ……….............. ………............................ ............................. .............................. ............................…… .............………..39 …..39 Bonkers Imagination…………………………......... Imagination…………………………....................... ............................. .....................……..….53 ......……..….53 Ludicrious Goals.............. Goals............................. ............................. ............................. .............................. ............................. .........................64 ...........64 Idiotic Peace …………………………………....... …………………………………...................... ............................. ........................………80 ..........………80

Silly Introduction

A Phone Call rom rom Fear Operator: This is a collect call rom Fear. Fear. Would you like li ke to accept the charges? Jonathan: Yeah, why not? Fear: Hey buddy, how have you been? Jonathan: First o all, is this love or hate? Fear: It’s always love, baby! But why did you even have to ask? Have I ever steered you down the wrong path? Jonathan: …. (Face scrunches) Fear: You know or a act every time lie got too hard or you, I was there. Jonathan: Yeah, okay… Fear: I was the one with you in the back o the classroom saying, “This is all going to blow over, and soon you’ll graduate,” but what the (ll in the blank) do you do? You decide to drop out o college to pursue a “dream.” I’d rather have you selling drugs as a part-time job than actually risking it all on one play! Because i this doesn’t get you where you need to be, I can only imagine where you will end up or the rest o your lie. But I think I can wrestle up some images o “paper or plastic” or better yet “Freeze, dirtbag! I you move another inch, I’ll singe you with my rearm.”” Is that a clear enough depiction? rearm. Jonathan: You’re one supportive riend, Fear! Fear: Listen, I’m the voice o reason. Jonathan: Reason, aye!

Jonathan Figaro - Six Stupid Things People Do To To Mess Up Their Lives

Fear: Yes, reason. I’m just trying to protect you rom the cold, cruel world we live in. Without a diploma or years o experience, I hate to say it, but you can’t win. Just look at the competition you have out there. Every author in your eld o work has more degrees than a burn victim. They are arsonists in the game o lie. You don’t even know how to light a single match yet! Jonathan: That’s pretty cold! Fear: You’re a no-name! Who still takes the 3 train and eats Subway sandwiches every weekday while trying to stay afoat nancially? Conned in this sad little story called “your lie,” you just can’t make a dierence. Just go back to school and get a degree, a house with a nice pool, a ew kids, and a wie who plays her role in the amily. Be more like your aunts, uncles, and cousins. They’re phenomenal examples o what people expect rom you. Jonathan: Umm… You You know a wise man once told me... Fear: Oh, not this again! Jonathan: To expect more rom mysel than what others expect rom me. And i i  anyone tries to cut my wings, I should build mysel and fy in another direction. Fear: What (ll in the blank) are you trying to do, Jonathan? Are you trying to destroy what we had? Are you trying to push me away rom your lie orever? Because that’s what you’re doing; you’re ripping my soul apart. And i i  you get deep enough, you won’t be able to mend the patches. I’m lying in a ditch between a rock and a hard place. You’re my way out. Jonathan: Your way out? Listen, what we had was alse. I believed your lies. I believed mediocrity was cool because everyone around me was living in the same conditions or worse. I believed stupidity was like requent fyer miles. Everyone has them, so why don’t I fy rst class? I believed in your words o wisdom, which were really words o hurt and solitude. You’re the one who betrayed me, not I. You cut out my heart and threw away every vessel. My heart is no longer beating, my riend. Goodbye. Fear: So what, you’re leaving me now? Jonathan: For good. It’s time or a change like the seasons. So long, my good riend. (Pause)


Sometimes ear can keep you rom doing what you think is right. It can keep you out o sight and out o mind. Until you let go o it, ear can make you oblivious to seeing what you can really do. When you step outside the green zone into the desert storm, you begin to realize that all that you have is yoursel and a supporting cast o trustworthy riends or slovenly oes. Cast away the essence o obligation. Become obligated only to get what you want. Being scared is a natural inclination. We must look in the mirror and realize one thing: “I it’s to be, it’s up to me.” So today, I’ve taken my own advice and cut the wings o ear, and now I’m reealling. Where will I appear? Will I disappear orever? Who knows? All I know is I’ve let go o something that has taken me nineteen years to get rid o. So turn the page. Take hold o my vision. Judge me not, but listen and ask yoursel i you see yoursel in me. I bet you’ll eel a sense o camaraderie with the words I use to express my harsh reality. reality. But until we meet again, I wish you success in every way possible. - Peace

Chapter 1

Stupid Optimism

Carrie screams, “I hate mysel and I hate my lie. My husband is a jerk who couldn’t care less about me or his new baby boy. He struts around the house never showing aection and barely pays the bills. He certainly alls short o making me lust or him. Back when we rst started to date, he couldn’t keep his hands o me. But now, he keeps those hands in his pockets. Why is my lie this way? Why is this happening to me? What can I do?” With sincerity and poise, I glanced into her eyes and said, “It’s right there.” Thinking she had a fy on her shoulder, Carrie missed the point. “It’s your attitude,” I said. “The ‘my lie sucks and so does my husband persona is what’s killing you. Your anger and rage toward yoursel and others is what’s keeping you rom prosperity: physical and non-physical. You You need to take responsibility or your lie and move into the ranks o sel-suciency. No one is responsible or your happiness besides you.” Author and notable educator Charles Swindoll, once said, “Lie is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react react to it.” An attitude o distress distress leads to misortune while a heart set upon brilliant thinking refects those thoughts and ideas. Unortunately, most o us are usually too worried about making it through the day to keep up a positive attitude. Why is that? Why is one man sad, and another man happy? Why is one woman joyous and prosperous, and another woman poor and miserable? Why is one child earul and anxious, and another ull o aith and condence? Why is one man a great success, and another man a ailure? Why is one man living a lie o luxury, while another man barely gets by? Why is one woman relaxed and another gains rustration over petty annoyances such as trying to squeeze ketchup out o a bottle? The answer is attitude. A positive attitude speaks every orm o dialect on this big blue island in space. An attitude o optimism brings brings out positive results in all o our doings. With an attitude o pessimism, our minds blind us to love, happiness and success. Visually impaired to the causes and eects o our realities, we’ve turned into a society diagnosed with cancer o the mind, ear o the heart, and rustration o the anus.


Attitude is a one o those small words that makes a big dierence. Your attitude is the gyrocompass o your universe. All you have to do is change your attitude to refect the lie you want to live, and you’ll have it. Your persona is one o the two things: Empowering or Disempowering. Empowering thoughts make you eel as i you’re on top o the world 24-7. It’s the ability to say yes to lie. Disempowering thoughts keep you eeling ar rom your best. They’re the “I hate my lie”, “Everything seems to be going wrong”, “What is wrong with my boyriend today?”, or “Maybe I need to light up a cigarette” kinds o thoughts. These thoughts cause you to eel mentally asleep, lying down in a pool o misery day in and day out till the casket lid drops. We’re surrounded by innite riches, yet we ail to see the great untapped potential within us. Inside each and every one o us is a gold mine, glazed with innite potential, unexplainable resources, and sugar-coated greatness. It may be hard to see now, but by the end o this book you’ll begin to believe in Never Never Land as i you were a young boy in green trunks with pointy ears. The rst thing you must do is change your thinking. As the saying goes, “The only thing which makes a man a man is his mind.” Realize that within your head is a vast amount o unlimited potential ready to be released once you unshackle ear rom its cage and cultivate a positive attitude.

Listen up: I have a Story to Tell A riend o mine who lived about two stories above my apartment in Brooklyn was at my ront door one crisp spring aternoon. Birds where chirping, and a siren blared down Carroll Street as my urgency urgency to enjoy the day was upon me. Up walked William, a 24-year-old janitor who worked late nights at the local SevenEleven. With sweat pouring rom his orehead, he said in a gentle voice, “I need your help.” I replied with an arctic demeanor, “How can I be o assistance, young man?” “I got girl problems!” he sighed. I immediately interjected, enthusiastically repeating, “I you having girl problems, I eel bad or you son, I got 99 problems but a chick ain’t one.” Dancing in cyclical rhythmic gyration, I could see William was not amused by my Sean Carter (amous entrepreneur and hip hop recording artist) rendition, so I ended the sketch abruptly.


He continued, “I’m not condent enough to talk to these girls out here, man! Every time I approach a chick I eel light-headed, my stomach gets queasy, and I lose sight o what to say. I sometimes just end up standing there like a douche with my hands in my pockets looking or a miracle to take place.” I smiled, or I too was in his position posit ion quite some time ago, I replied in a sincere gesture: In order to reap the rewards o emale you have to become more than whom you are now. You have to be condent, assertive, and present in the moment. These three aspects are mandatory in order to reach your desired result. result. This is no dierent than a mathematical problem, or a video game you know you’ll conquer. How you come o is what matters most; it’s best to be yoursel. Beore bed and in the morning ater wake up, say… 1. I am great with women. women. 2. Women want want to be with me everywhere I go. 3. I can reach reach the goals I set or mysel. 4. Reuse, recycle, and repeat. Three weeks later he ound himsel a girlriend and I’m proud o him and his Johnson.

Why Did this Work? Work? Stupid Thought: You may not know this but your brain is divided into two parts: the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is like the captain o a ship. He directs the ship and signals orders to men in the engine room (the subconscious mind), who in turn control all the boilers, instruments, gauges, etc. The men in the engine room do not know where they are going; they just ollow orders. They would crash on a deserted island i the captain said so. These men do as they are told, no questions asked. Likewise, your conscious mind is the captain and master o your ship, which represents your environment, aairs, and body. Your Your subconscious mind takes the orders o what your conscious mind believes and accepts. William was able to attack his subconscious mind directly, directly, bypassing his current restrictions. restrictions. How? He armed his new ideas beore bed and right upon waking. The best time to penetrate your subconscious mind is within 30 minutes o waking and sleeping. Henry Ward Beecher, a prominent Congregationalist,


clergyman, social reormer, abolitionist, and speaker in the mid to late 19th century stated “The rst hour is the rudder o the day.” William was heading down a path o sel-destruction beore I helped him. His past conditioning came rom the repetition o negative words such as: “I can’t,” “I suck”; “I can’t believe I didn’t talk to her,” etc. So his subconscious mind recorded these emotionalized events, turning his worst nightmare into a Mozart screenplay gone badly. By changing the message he armed to himsel on a daily basis, William conquered his ears practically overnight. You always have a choice in the words you use. You can either arm a positive liestyle or a negative escape escape pod. William has chosen to say, say, “I can” rather than “I can’t.”

You Y ou Can Do the Same Arm the phrase “I can conquer my ears” upon any dicultly in ront o you and you will. All great success starts with possibility. Commence planting seeds o positivity in the garden o your mind. Lie is meant to be enjoyed enjo yed and appreciated. Keep an A-Okay attitude, to live an A-Okay liestyle.

Flashbacks Ater separating rom my girlriend last year, I too had a abricated perception o the opposite sex. Assuming every girl I met was out to hurt me, I avoided love at all cost. I swapped unconditional appreciation or great sex ater every house party or bar hopping escapade, nally leading to Sunday morning conessions. I diluted my loss o love by any means necessary; sex diverted my ego rom thinking about the ex-girlriend, but not or too long. Ater knocking over a glass o vodka onto my laptop by accident -- Eureka! -- I realized I had to conront her one last time in order o rder to truly move on with my lie. Not a selsh sel sh rant on how hurt I elt, but a mature conversation which would lead to neutrality. But no way was I going to call! My ego kept me rom taking the rst step. I had way too much pride or that. But beore the idea o how how could could reach me, another bra strap was loosened and a condom would be congratulated as a lie saver. Yet, Yet, the determination to end my promiscuity or the time being was essential. With Liz Claiborne jeans at my bedside and hal a cigarette disintegrating rom the oxidation, my cell phone rang. Assuming it to be another lost soul or emale trapeze artist, I ignored the call. It was sent to voice mail.


My body screamed in pain as I reached over to the phone. As my heart dropped, I recognized the area code more than the number. “Hey john it’s-------, I you want to, i you have time, I think we need to talk about some things. So i you want to, give me a call back.” The voice mail sounded like she wanted some hot loving. But this was my imagination going rampant as usual. “Why are you calling me up?” I said to mysel. Going on a sixty second tantrum beore realizing my one night stand was still sleeping by my side. I convinced mysel to deal with the situation later. Almost our hours ater receiving the voice mail, it was time to ace the past. The most nerve-wracking phone call I ever made in my lie was this very moment. My anger over her neglecting how I elt was never brought up. I surprisingly matured more than I expected. We laughed over the phone and I wished her the best ater she told me she’d ound a job. “I knew you would get back on your eet. Good luck on your new job. I wish you the best and I’ll call you back in twenty”. Those were the last phrases spoken between us beore I hung up the phone. Leaving her in the back o my lie, I’ve yet to redial her number. number. I realized ater hearing her voice or the last time, I was so ar gone rom she wanted me to be: A riend. I couldn’t play that position ater her love blitzed me with seven seconds on the clock and teen yards away rom the touchdown. I let the situation happy or her progress toward her goals. I have not heard rom her to this day, and I hope she’s she’s doing well. I live my lie expecting the best, and I hope she does the same. Some other guy will be lucky to have her, or I believe all women are born queens, yet ew realize it. I hope she does.

A Lesson Learned I’ve learned you must orgive and orget i you want to live a successully and be sane. Only stupid people hold grudges and cling to past mistakes, keeping them rom achieving greatness. They can’t seem to get rid o the bully rom ‘69 or ‘73, which keeps them stagnant and shackles right thinking, preventing success or happiness rom emerging into their lives.


Attitude holds most o you back rom moving past irrelevant decisions made ten years ago. I you hold on to the past, it will aect your mood, keeping you rom reaching any goal you set orth or yoursel. The secret to a great great lie doesn’t lie within the mist o resentment or guilt, but through your maturity and growth as a human being. To be able to see the glory in leaving the past behind, you have to envision possibility. Ask yoursel this question: Do I want to be a replication o last year year,, or an improvement o this very moment? The moment? The act is, your attitude at this very moment is a recycled pattern o thought, positive or negative. Reinorced ideologies, belies, emotions, and expectations: this is what you are right now. What you say to yoursel, positive or negative, cultivates your character, chiseling away at the bone structure o your being. The words you say to yoursel, pictures you envision, attitudes held through association, and personal expectations shape you in every given moment. Be open to the possibility o growing smarter by the hour, not dumber by the second. Regrets hold millions rom bank account increases, birthday celebrations, and stock exchange advice Martha Stewart never passed up. Learn to grow up as you grow old. It’s all up to you.

Walk Wa lk With Me Last Christmas I met a young man, Jacob, who was traveling rom Toronto, Canada to New York City. The temperature was below 14 degrees as he took reuge inside a luxurious department store. An illustrious array o expensive athletic ootwear and apparel was arranged in size order. A pair o sneakers inspired by art master Piet Mondrian caught this young man’s attention with its visual magnicence. Simplistically styled with red, yellow, white, and black colors, these kicks stayed true to the early 20th century De Still Art Movement. They hit stores in limited supply and were priced very high, but he knew he was in the sights o a true gem. Attracted to this wonderul pair o sneakers, he said to himsel, “I can’t aord it.” He rubbed his nose, ghting a long winter cold he had caught rom a foozy down in Vegas last week. Jacob held in his possession The Power o Positive Thinking by Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. Having learned to arm only the positive, he reversed his verbal remark and armed, quoting loudly, “I CAN AFFORD IT!” He later recalled causing quite a disturbance: “A sales rep conronted me and asked me i everything was okay. I replied, ‘I was practicing my Warrior cry, I’ll keep it down.’” Jacob and I laughed hysterically upon stationing our glutinous maxim on the bus benches.


“I made sure I overwhelmed my mind with what I can do- not what I can’t,” he said, and I agreed. Later that same day he entered his Brownstone apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Turning the knob slightly sl ightly while holding up his backpack on his let shoulder, a package barricaded his entry. To To his surprise, su rprise, his girlriend o two years, Caroline, had purchased him the same sneakers he’d nearly dismissed. He said, “I will never say ‘I can’t do anything or get anything’ as long as I live. Even though I didn’t purchase the item mysel, my positive attitude kept me in alignment to receive what was naturally mine.” Ending our conversation, he stated, “I paid Caroline back with some midnight loving.” I told him to hold o on the details, stepping ste pping onto the B8 bus as I strapped on my North ace book bag. Jacob’s experience taught me several things. First, I need to get mysel a girl who will buy me sneakers then let me repay her with some late night loving. Second, the mind is more powerul than I ever could imagine. And third, Jacob has inspired i nspired me to keep my words, actions and mental pictures congruent with what I want to experience.

Fear and Conormity I don’t like to admit it, but ear held my hand or quite some time. Nothing elt better than what I was used to. I woke up every day like a slave going to a job I hated. I spent my day with people who produced massive hatred toward individuals who have made outcasts o themselves by gaining wealth (mainly rappers, music moguls, or just people who had more money money we did). I usually took my one hour break around 12pm, 12pm, and my options were limited. It was either McDonald’s or Subway. Ater lunch I was back at work; the slave whips started to leave marks on my skin. Working or another six hours let me yearning or a beer, sex, or my bed. Whichever opportunity came rst I grabbed with authority. authority. Right ater clocking out I was surrounded by people who elt the same way I did: terrible. Working in New York caused me to hate the subway system each and every time ti me I swiped my metro card. Why did I hate the train? It reinorced reinorced my lack o unds and inability to be nancially sel-sucient. sel-sucient. So rather than live the rest o my lie this way, I made a decision. And what decision was that?


Attack the parts o my lie I was araid o. In order or me to reach the level o success I desired, I had to conquer the ears that kept me grounded or 21 years. I no longer wanted to have a boss. I wanted to be my own boss. I no longer wanted to take the train. I wanted a G4 airplane. I no longer wanted wages, I wanted prots. So I jumped o the ledge o ear and and grew my my wings on the way down. I soon realized that when you’re soaring 30,000 eet above ground, the all doesn’t creep into your mind as oten as you’d think. You You begin to enjoy the journey jo urney and the beautiul view, a view that can only be seen by those who leave their comort zone and appreciate ambiguity. So why are you still holding on to the ledge?

Action Cures Fear Fear Ater being held down or so many years, Mr.Gelin nally tossed ear aside and took action. His desire to be a homeowner meant more to him than the nancial blunders o his past. Let’s see how he overcame this common predicament millions o people deal with every day… Mr. and Mrs. Gelin lived in a small Midwestern apartment. Both wanted a new home. They Mr. wanted the advantage o more space, cleaner surroundings, a place or the youngsters to play, and a chance to build up equity e quity in their own property property.. But there was a hitch to buying a new ne w home-- the down payment. Mr. Gelin only made a little over minimum wage. One day as Mr. Gelin was writing a new month’s rent check, he become very disgusted with himsel. He observed that the rent payment was as much a monthly payment on a new home. Mr. Gelin called his wie and said, “Listen here, it’s time or us to make the decision to buy a new home. We’ve been procrastinating or too long and I’m sick o it. Let’s go nd ourselves a new home so we can be happy with where we live.” The next week they ound a house they both liked, unpretentious but nice, or $12,000 down. Now the obstacle was to nd a way to raise the $12K. Mr. Mr. Gelin couldn›t borrow it through the usual channels, or this would encumber his credit so that he couldn›t get a mortgage or the sale price. But where there›s a will there’ there’ss always a way. And suddenly, suddenly, Mr. Mr. Gelin got a brain storm. Saying “I can do it”, the next day he went to see his boss. He explained to his employer what he was doing. His boss was glad to see he was going to buy a new home. Then Mr.. Gelin said, “Look, Mr. Samson, to work this deal out, I›ve got to earn at least $750 Mr more each month. Now, I know you’ll give me a raise when you eel I deserve it. What I want now is just a chance to earn more money. There are some things around here that could best be done on weekends. Will you make it possible or me to work then?”


Mr. Samson was impressed with Mr. Mr. Mr. Gelin’s sincerity and ambition. He proposed a way or Mr. Mr. Gelin to work ten extra hours each weekend, and Mr. Mr. and Mrs. Gelin soon moved into their new home. Why? Because Mr. Mr. Gelin took action. Mr. Gelin didn’t allow his current circumstance to hold him back rom devising a plan to Mr. reach his goal. He thought about what to do and used action to cure his ears, just as William and Jacob did. These men used positive action to take their lives to a happier place. Happiness can only be achieved through progress toward a desire. You must start the change as I did, stepping out o depression and into euphoria.

The Moral o the Story? Step outside o conormity and embrace ambiguity. It will save your lie; li e; I guarantee it.

Circumstances Circumsta nces Don’t Make the Man Most people tend to blame their circumstances or their inability to succeed. Walking around like victims, victims, we turn harsh harsh based upon what lie has given us. Instead o using our environment as motivation, we blame it. Perhaps your mother did not hold you long enough, or your ather let the amily when you were just a toddler. Everything is going wrong because o the cards cards that were dealt to you. As playwright George George Bernard Shaw stated, “I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look or the circumstances they want, and i they can’t nd them, they make them.” Where you are now is solely based on the choices you have made. No one else thinks your thoughts, eels your emotions, or acts your actions. As the saying goes, “You “You cannot hire anyone to do your push-ups or you.” Where you go rom here is based on the choices you make today. Your attitude is the reason or all trials, tribulations, heartbreaks, lonely nights, addictions, abuse, discouragement, depression, and decisions to transcend. Your Your emotions guide your thoughts to certainty, creating your current climactic experience. Packing your thoughts with emotions is a wonderul way to sink change into your brain. A powerul tool is to wake up and say, “Today is going to be a wonderul day!” Repeating this armation with certainty sends out positive expectations to the world and yoursel. And what do we know about expectations? We may never get what we want, but we always get what we expect. Learn to expect the best. Win the game o lie by ruling over your attitude. You’re either a master o thought, or a servant.


Who is David Lee? David was an average guy who lived l ived in Westchester. Westchester. With his world in shambles, he was quickly going nowhere. Never taking responsibility or his lie, he continually blamed his circumstances or his ailures. David was coming o o  a devastating divorce, and he only had a job because his employer was his best riend, not because he was capable o doing excellent work. He hadn’t been to church in many years and was so broke he was writing a hot check on Friday just so he could get something to eat, and would pick it up early Sunday morning. David was mentally, physically, nancially, spiritually, and emotionally withering in the stardust stardust o lie’s lie’s harsh circumstances. circumstances. One bright Sunday morning, David’s lie changed orever ater his brother gave him a cassette on the Power o Intention by Wayne Dyer. Dyer. He listened to the audio tape or seven hours straight without leisure, and his thinking began to shit. He began to understand that the reason or his current circumstance was the pillar o his attitude. His attitude dened how people reacted to him, how ar he went in his career, how bright his relationship would blossom, how strong his aith with God could become, and how much money he could truly obtain. But the most important attribute was how he spoke to himsel. His attitude began to shit rom “I am a dumb, at, stupid, broke, broke, and an idiot savant” to “I am an articulate, ar ticulate, caring, successul human being who learns rom his mistakes.” No longer letting his negative thoughts or circumstances dene him, he took action. David began to create his own circumstances. Arming to himsel his top 10 goals, David began to transorm, consciously creating physical, mental, nancial, spiritual and emotional harmony. Ater listening to the cassette, he invested more time and money in personal development products. Knowing repetition is the ather o learning, David stayed optimistic as much as humanly possible. He went on to tell his boss that he no longer had a riend on the payroll, but a working employee. He joked, saying, “I may even start carrying my own weight.” At 416 lbs that represented a pretty substantial commitment. He went to Fordham University that aternoon and enrolled in a couple o college courses in philosophy because he wanted to learn more in regards to thought and interpretation o lie. Determined to shed those dinner rolls, he went down to the nearest health studio. He did what most people ail to do: take action. Listening every day to positive material became a ritual or David Lee as he pursued his own orm o happiness. No longer a victim o lie, he began to change his selimage, the starting point o all true success. Looking at himsel in the mirror one day, he grinned in amazement. Happy to be himsel or the rst time in his lie, David broke down in tears. Even though he weighed in at an incredible 360 lbs, he saw himsel as


no longer obese. Teased as “Fat Ass, Fatty Mick, Fat Burger and The Milk Shake Man” since the age o 12, David no longer l onger saw himsel through the opinions o others, but as what he thought o himsel.

So where is David Lee Now? David graduated at the top o his class rom Fordham University with a degree in philosophy in 2007. He is presently on his way to earning his Masters, while teaching Sunday lessons at his local parish. He no longer works at his old job; instead, David is in business or himsel with his newound sweetheart. Word around town is she expects to deliver David the Second in Second in the next two months. Why did I tell this story in such great detail? I wanted to show you how deeated this young man was. He was physically, socially, and emotionally bankrupt, yet was able to turn his lie around. How? By developing a positive sel-image and setting goals, he was able to achieve incredible results.

Attitude We all want good results in our work, home, and social interactions. And the most important single actor to guarantee results day in and day out is a healthy attitude. Attitude is the position or bearing indicating action, eeling, or mood. It’s your actions, eelings, or moods that dictate the actions, eeling, or moods o the people around you. Your attitude tells others what you expect in lie. I your attitude is xated on alse conclusions mixed with gloomy anticipation, then others tend to perceive that negativity. But i your attitude is cheerul, positive, and expectant, then you will create a positive outcome or yoursel. You You see, we tend to live up to our own expectations and the expectations others place on us. Do people tend to smile, approaching you in a cheerul manner? Your answer to this question will tell you about your attitude. I the answer is no, then a dynamic shit in perspective is all you need.


Cali-Forn-I-A Experience Long ago, my oldest riend, Khalani Saunders, moved to Caliornia or the winter. I accompanied him or a weekend in search or lust with the opposite sex. Still on my journey to nd mysel, I said, “Why not do it with some women?” women?” I was in need or some sexual healing and the enjoyment o the Caliornia rays. Across the street rom my riend’s house lived a couple who just moved there rom Bualo. The husband was an avid sherman and his wie loved the warm warm weather. weather. Ater just two months in Caliornia, the th e couple decided to leave. The husband said, “My wie hates it here, she hasn’t made any riends. The women o the community have let her strictly alone.” I asked him, “Has she let the other women know she is interested in participating in community activities?” He stopped what he was doing and looked at me, “No, she hasn’t! She has been waiting or the women to ask her.” She had been waiting or them to come to her. So they thought o her as a reclusive, as a person who was not interested in making riends and so they let her alone. He began nodding in agreement, ”That’s exactly what happened!” O course, the women should have come to her and invited her to tea, or lunch, but they were reacting to her. her. She didn’t know the community could only give her back a refection o her own attitude. attitu de. She was a woman in her 60’s who was never taught the rst principle o eective living: Your surroundings are oten a merciless mirror o your attitude. Stupid Thought: Poor Attitude, Poor Results. Good Attitude, Good Results. Great Attitude, Great Results. I let the scene with a glimmer o despair on my ace. Expecting people to approach you is like expecting to graduate rom college without paying tuition. It ain’t happening! This woman was asking or the impossible. I let Caliornia that aternoon dwelling on the narrow, darkened thinking I was exposed to. Seeing mysel in this woman, I came to grips with my past. Shyness in many ways was my sel-esteem shouting out, “SOMEBODY TALK TO ME!” Yet nobody ever truly did. I sought to be alone only because I was in ear. ear. Fear o being rejected by someone I didn’t even know. But I learned to step outside o mysel, to experience the joy o riendship, riendship, love, and excitement. Conquering this ear was never easy, but worth every ailure and stomach ache. I resolved resolved a long time ago to never n ever let


ear keep me rom succeeding. O course this will be revealed in due time. But the point is you cannot live in ear i you want to have un and live lie. Learning this new habit takes time, but once it becomes a knit part your lie, you only have to cheer yoursel onward. American psychologist and philosopher William James classically stated, “ Human Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude o minds.” Most people don’t think about their attitude; instead, they are poised to react to any stimuli they encounter encounter.. There are so many human beings taking a narrow, darkened attitude toward lie, ullling the prophecy o their attitude. Your world can be bright with hope and passion, or dark and lonely. I you have an attitude o ailure, you’re whipped beore you start. Expect the best rom every situation you’re put into. The world will give you back exactly what you put out in attitude. You are responsible or keeping a smile on your ace and happy thoughts in your mind, no one else. A person with a poor attitude will become a magnet or unpleasant experiences, an example o doom-ullling prophecy. You paint your world with what you think in attitude. It’s hard to convince people that the world they experience is based on their attitude. They believe i people would act kindly to them, then so would they. But it has to start with you; let it begin today. No matter what a person does or a living, i you nd them doing an outstanding job it’s because o their attitude. As Reverend King wisely wrote, “I a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts o heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” well .” Successul people take the attitude that they can accomplish what they set out to do. Intellect is not required; muscle and physique are not necessary. All you need is an attitude o “I can.” Focus on the reasons that you will reach your goals, rather than the ways you could ail. Keep your attitude positive, cheerul, cheer ul, and expectant and you will succeed. Nothing will change until you until you do. do. Changing your attitude is the rst step to changing your lie. One good way to develop a good attitude is though practice. Read positive material each day or 30 minutes, associate with positive riends, smile more, and remind yoursel that attitude directly impacts your environment as many times possible. Do this and you will place yoursel with the top ve percent o people who control their attitude, thereore controlling their lives. Place yoursel on the road to that which you seek. Don’t let the poor attitudes o other people inect you as strongly as the common cold. Stay away rom these people i you want to stay healthy. Don’t waste time talking about your problems. It won’t help you, and it cannot help others. Your thoughts are what are are most important. The only way


you can reverse your troubling circumstances and elevate your mind is to keep your ideas lled with enthusiasm and excitement or lie. Your Your attitude is all you need to start star t moving in the right direction. I have already given you the road map. Which path will you take? “I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.” - Winston Churchill

Learn rom my stupid mistakes. 1. Keep your attitude positive; there there is no point in being negative. 2. I you got 99 problems problems and a chick ain’t one. Tell Tell yoursel “they’re all solved.” 3. Learn rom your mistakes and orget orget the past. The present moment moment is all that counts. Learn to orgive and orget. Grownups are what we think we are. But when it comes down to it, we hold childish grudges or years beore we let them the m go. Some o us die with hate in our heart. I will never let hate keep me down, and neither should you. 4. Never use the terms, “I can’t aord aord it” or “I can’t do this.” Do the opposite and empower yoursel. Arm, “I can, I will, and I choose to.” 5. For 30 minutes each each day read something highly educational, motivational, and inspirational to ignite the fame o optimism under your gluteus maximus. 6. Each human always ullls his or her expectations: good or bad.

Chapter 2

Crazy Success

One o my conscious riends, Jason Ross, picked me up rom my home. He is a devoted high-school riend who believes in C.R.E.A.M “Cash Rules Everything Around Me.” His ideas enhanced my dream tremendously one day day.. But let me take you back a ew months earlier. Sitting in my older brother’s Nissan Maxima, I had picked up Nana (another high school riend), Jason, and James with the intention to head down to Manhattan. Still scrambling over my ailed business and positive mindset, I had to save gas, so we opted or the L train on Rockaway Parkway in Brooklyn. Seated on the subway benches o a train car packed with unconscious pedestrians, our conversation took new heights. Jason was expressing his anger toward ormal education. As a college dropout mysel, I elt pressed to interject. Luckily I resisted, hearing nine words which changed his lie orever.. Expressing his anger over traditional teaching, Jason said, “I eel like everyone orever in my classroom is programm programmed!” ed!” Already a conscious thinker mysel, with the veteran James on the wing and Nana listening closely, we looked at each other in non verbal agreement. James then began to unravel the truth about lie. He said, “Glance around you, Jason. We may be in a subway car lled with people, but in reality you are looking at materialized thoughts and ideas. The creative work o some human being. Whether it’s an ejaculation gone good or bad. Every human here was rst a thought. The automobiles, the sky scrapers, the great planes that sweep the stratosphere, the sewing machine, the tiny pin, a thousand and one things--yes, millions o objects--where did they come rom originally? Only one source: thought. Analyze your lie urther and you’ll realize all things resorted rom thought. You don’t eat, wear clothes, run or the bus, drive your automobile, go or a walk, or read a newspaper- -you don’t even raise your arm--without a preceding thought impulse. While you may consider the motions you make as more or less automatic, perhaps caused by some physical refexes, behind every single step you take in lie, regardless o its direction, is that ormidable and powerul orce: thought. The very way we walk and talk is a refection

o our thinking. You are a product o your own thought, what you believe yoursel to be, you are. Thought is the original source o all wealth, success, material gain, great discoveries, inventions and achievements. Without it there would be no great empires, Broadway plays, Clinton scandal, educational system, or Beatles musical collection. All matter rst is thought. This is the only thing thin g which controls your success or ailure.” I was pretty surprised how illustriously James put the ideas o consciousness together. I thought he was going to let eld with “ejaculation,” but he polished the spiel quite nicely in the end. Jason’s eyes glistened with understanding and acknowledgement, as i he’d been sleeping his whole lie away and today he’d nally woken up or the rst time. This scene reminded me o The Matrix. When Morpheus told Neo, “You take the blue pillthe story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill--you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.” I contemplated this scene at least ve times beore I snapped out o o  my daydream. Jason began to see the truth. “Attitude” is all that truly matters. What you believe becomes true or you. No degree can place you ahead o the pack i you’re programmed or ailure with a negative attitude. Sadly most college graduates who take o their cap and gown ater the commencement celebration soon realize our years has passed with nothing but a GPA, a ew tattoos, memorable stories, and no goal in place or the next 10 years. The majority o people live lives o quiet desperation, never questioning the reason or their existence, actions, belies, or prejudices. Millions o people tend to listen to others rather than think or themselves, living out other oth er people’s dreams dreams rather than their own. Only a small group o people learn to think or themselves, not just accept the norms o society. They cultivate their own realties as they see t, stepping out o the crowd and no longer tting in by choosing to stand out. Jason said o James, “Coming to this awareness was as natural as yearning or his mother’s mother’s breast milk milk as a toddler.” toddler.” Again I was truly weirded weirded out by my riends’ riends’ ostentatious metaphors, but agreed despite my disgust over his choice o words. At that moment, Jason was no longer a conormist, but an individual thinker. His mind was as Frank Zappa stated: “Open like a parachute.” This is the only way our mind can truly unction. His mind opened to the world beneath, the world he never believed existed. His purpose in lie was getting clearer clearer.. He stated, “Lie is truly what I say it will be. I’m the cause and the eect. Why not create causes which will aect me in a positive way?”


Hopping o o the L train, our conversation ranged rom random cynical humor to the consciousness o humanity. We trailed through the city, dining in Little Italy, walking in the midst o a parade, and picking up a ew girls on the way back. Today oday,, Jason is an entrepreneur entrepreneur who invests heavily in real estate. With his mentality on the almighty dollar, he works to serve millions o people. Rebuilding homes and owning properties all across the world while still acquiring as many emale companions as humanly possible, he’s doing what makes him happy. Reminiscing on this event caused me to appreciate the moment Jason started to question his own belies. The ability to step outside who you are are to nd who you must become is a breaking breaking point or all major successes. The act is, i we don’t question question ourselves at times, we can never experience something better than what we currently have. We will become complacent complacent and never think o a dierent dierent way to live our lives. I we continue to sit back and watch lie pass us by, our world will stay as it is and what could have been will cease to exist. Traveling back to the ront o my apartment, Jason and I futtered ideas or our Sinatra plan. The idea o a Sinatra plan is based on Frank Sinatra’s saying, “The best revenge is massive success.” Jason and I would spend hours at a time just discussing our revenge, as i the world owed us everything. It was a great way to keep us motivated in times o recent disappointment. Tonight, however, was dierent. A glow o bigger dreams seeped into the conversation, like water under a wooden door. door. Jason asked me a question that changed my lie orever: “What is your vision or the book you’re writing?” I had never actually contemplated my vision, so I responded with a meager nancial statement. Jason laughed in sadness over my adolescent vision o my dream. Grinning to keep together my pride, Jason went on to say, “Jonathan, How are you going to swim with the sharks i you’re still lying on the beach? Listen buddy, i you’re not going to think big, why think at all? I know you can move more than one million units o your book. Why not set a goal higher than that? Why not set a goal so high that you’d have to stretch every inch o your mind, body, and soul in order to make it happen? Why not set a goal o X-million copies sold worldwide, not just one?” I paused or a moment to absorb the magnitude o his suggestion. The rotisserie o my mind began to soak in every inch o the new idea brought brought to light. A voice yelled inside my head, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.” I decided that this book could touch the lives o X-million people. I would not settle or a crumb; I wanted the whole pie.


Arriving home around 1 a.m. ater smoking some hookah, my ears started to take hold. I yelled into the th e bathroom mirror, mirror, “Selling one million copies would be a blessing; now I’m tackling X million. How am going to do that? Oh brother!” Negativity started to seep into my consciousness. I used an armative statement to keep mysel cool. Pessimism no longer had control o my thinking. As the saying goes, “I you argue or your alse belies, you deserve to keep them.” I decided to exchange thoughts about my limitations or empowering convictions. Jason’s words words kept repeating in my mind. I made the decision to dream dream as i I would live orever, and to live every day like it was my last. I took my dream seriously and began to pursue my passion with high aspiration. As I write these words, sometimes I think o my journey to this point. The word destiny comes to mind when my past gets plastered on paper. paper. I ask mysel, “Was it destiny that brought Jason, Nana, James, and me together togeth er that Saturday evening to release Jason rom the matrix o his mind?” In high school the only person I truly knew was James, and even then we were separated by popularity. He was higher on the social ladder than I was. I only got to truly know James, Nana, and Jason ater high school, which is bizarre. We don’t even live within walking distance o one another, but still keep connected. Jason lives in Flatbush; I live in Crown Heights; James James lives in Canarsie; and Nana lives in Long Island. I you’re rom rom Brooklyn, then you know these locations are not so close. I do believe deep down inside God sends us signals, slogans, mottos, quotes, or even people such as James and Jason to help us get back on the right path. My experiences have shown me that the road signs are clear -- you only have to pay attention to the signals. My academic ailure was a wakeup call rom the lie I was living. The advice I received rom my riends pushed me to think bigger and work harder, harder, and dig in deeper or the dicult path ahead o me.

Words Wor ds o Advice I you believe it’s time to walk along a new path, guess what? You’re probably right. Preserve your right to be happy today today.. Isolate yoursel rom those who discourage you. Seek out people who acknowledge your struggles and help you reach another plateau o sel-advancement. sel-advancement. I all else ails, ollow your your heart. You can’t go wrong wrong with your intuition; it’s God whispering to you. you.


DREAM Give yoursel the opportunity to dream dream big. For a moment, allow yoursel to antasize about the kind o lie you could live i you had no ears at all. How much money do you make? How many people are are you helping? How protable protable is your multi level marketing or network marketing business become? How many people do you have working or you? Where do you want to retire? retire? Does your home have a porch, or is it located on the sandy beaches o Miami, Florida? How many cars do you own? Do any o them exceed the speed o 200 mph? What tires are wrapped around your Giovanni rims? Are you being chaueured? How many airplanes airplanes are registered registered in your company’s company’s name? Are there any stewards or stewardesses on your private plane? Are there any cute ones? How many people are traveling with you? What is your destination? Do you know many people in that part o the world? What clothes are you wearing? What designer are you rocking on the red carpet? Is your mother retired? Are your kids in college and tuition paid up? Are you giving your boss the nger, and then driving o in your Mercedes Benz? Develop the ability to dream as vividly as possible. The only limitation you have is your sel-perception.

What Do You You Think Is Possible? Anything is possible. The only limit you have is the one you’ve placed upon yoursel time and time again. Remember William? The only thing holding him back rom talking to women was his sel-perception. Once that was removed, he succeeded immediately. No one can put a limit on how ar you can go in lie besides you. You’re the captain captain and co-pilot o your lie. I you want to fy rom Caliornia to New York, that’s great, but remember you can travel rom Australia to London, back to Las Vegas, and on to Dubai ater a quick stop in Tokyo. “We have arms, but don’t reach or the sky” - Common Sense

Stupid Thought: The law o belie states that whatever you believe with condence becomes true or you. No matter how unrealistic it may seem at the moment, i you


continuously think this thought, it’ll happen. You right now are a product o what you believe to be true. For example: The terrible eud in the Middle East is solely based on a dierence o belies. Decrepit bodies, bodies, bombed homes, grie stricken children children and a generation o uneducated civilians are all products o belies. Belies are so powerul that they can create create a hundred year long war war in the name o GOD. Think about that next time you believe you can’t do something. Religious belies are no dierent than the ability to believe in yoursel. The oundation to success is based upon creative thinking and the ability to execute your ideas. The most successul people in society won the game o lie by empowering themselves, not by living a lie o shame and mental anguish.

The Extra Mile Successul men and women always go the extra mile. They stay ocused, sinking deeper into themselves or the answers and working harder on themselves than they do at their job. Successul people are always on top o their tasks, rather than their tasks on top o them. They realize that i they don’t take the road road least traveled, they’ll never reach reach their target. target. Knowing the top is never crowded, crowded, they put their best oot oot orward. They sow all they can in order to reap the benets o their hard work through dedication and positive expectancy. I you begin to sow a dream, persist when times are bleak, work with enthusiasm, and properly execute each task, you can only reap the grand benets o your desires. Never give any less than your best. Put excellence behind everything you do and you will receive excellent benets. The law o sowing so wing and reaping is impartial to race, acial imperections, culture, or location. No matter who or where you are, creative thinking, hard work, and persistence will create success. Imagine being a armer. Every year you plant a crop o potatoes, careully placed with love and care. You You go o and do something else whilst they germinate and sprout. You You can’t see them grow but you KNOW they are growing. While you are working away at other things, you have a great big patch o vegetation coming to lie l ie on your arm. They blossom as you stand aside, gazing at the beautiul results o your hard work. Enjoying the ruits o your labor, you can bask in the glory o the harvest. h arvest. Successul people have the same mindset toward success. Shining love over each task big or small, they work hard to make sure the task gets done. Doing more than they are paid or, they reap more than expected.


Why? They’ve sown more. While other, unsuccessul armers cultivate ruits and veggies with distilled anger and uncertainty, working only hal days and going on regular smoke breaks, the successul armer puts long-term gain over short-term pleasure. It’s time to put aside petty activities in avor o necessary tasks. The unsuccessul person will always put partying over hard work, alcohol over a good read, or television above a business meeting. We all know these people. Are you one o them? I was! But it wasn’t the way to go. Make better choices and you you will live a more ullling liestyle.

A Story o Persistence Michelle Hoskins was a small manuacturer in Chicago who made her grandmother’s honey cream syrup. She distributed it locally to a ew ew restaurants and stores. Michelle’s dream was to see her grandmother’s syrup on every table at Denny’s restaurants nationwide. Denny’s had 1700 restaurants at at that time, so Michelle wasn’t remotely remotely prepared to distribute, much less manuacture, enough honey cream syrup to supply that many locations. However However,, she believed that she could do it once she got the contract. Michelle started calling Denny’s corporate oce every Monday morning at 10:30 a.m. She would talk to anyone who would listen: receptionists, secretaries, secretaries, procurement, procurement, and manuacturing. They all said, “Yeah, “Yeah, Michelle… sounds great. great. Send us some o your grandma’s syrup and we’ll get back with you.” Like so many people who say that, they never called called her back. Undaunted, Michelle continued to call every Monday morning or two years. Ater two years, Denny’s restructured and hired a new CEO who heard about Michelle and decided to give her an opportunity. They let her place a bid, and she won a three million dollar contract doing exactly what she believed she would do. Michelle’s persistence allowed her to achieve a worthy ideal. Being persistent has no barrier except those you those you place. place. No matter how hard hard it seems at the time, i you want it bad enough, giving up will be always be harder than rolling with lie’s sucker punches. The one trait necessary or successul living is the will to be persistent.


Focus I’ve given up dozens o extracurricular activities in order to write this book. I struggled struggl ed nding ocus o cus on Microsot Microso t Word when Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube YouTube sat my ngertips. I also struggled with nding ocus on Microsot Word when Facebook, Twitter, Twitter, and YouT YouTube ube sat my ngertips. I learned le arned the hard way that success takes concentration and single-minded ocus. Every time I switched rom miscellaneous tasks to Microsot Word, Wor d, I’d lose my stream o consciousness, sometimes never regaining my composure. It’s easy to click on a YouTube YouTube music video, search or random entertainment, or envy liestyles o the rich and amous; mostly everyone does it. Well, that’s that’s why most people ail in lie. What’s hard is misplaced with what’s easy, and what’s goal-achieving is swapped with random entertainment. Keep your mind zoned into your current activity i you want to deeat procrastination.

Everybody is a Critic Sometimes asking or an opinion on my book would cause me to second guess my agenda. I remember when I rst started to write, I asked a kid around my age about my writing skills. His blog was pretty successul with a nice an base. So I wrote him an email, asking him to advise me on how I could improve my writing. Based on the response I got, I’m assuming his girlriend had recently dumped him because he wasn’t able to satisy her sexually. Though I may not have any evidence, my theory has yet to be corrected. I’ve copied and pasted his exact words, or all o you to see. Let’s listen in on my deeat: “First o, this Horrible! I would better i you handed me nothing at all. I would like to know i English your rst language l anguage because, you’re writing is demoralizing to my brain. There are a lot o typos and i you want to be a good, you have to write well. You may want give up (just a suggestion), but i not, here’s a ew sites which can help your inexplicably terrible writing. Here are some helpul websites to get you started: star ted: www.copyblogger.com www.problogger.net


Objectives or you to consider 1. Kill yoursel (just kidding, well not entirely) 2. Get someone to prooread prooread them or you. (Not your 5 yr old cousin) 3. Read a lot o literature (Not Dr Dr.. Seuss) 4. Write. A lot (i you can read) read) These are just the basic tips. The content you have is pretty bad, so I doubt people will read your material. But don’t be oended because Burger king is hiring. Good Go od luck. I you have any more questions, eel ree NOT to email me.” Contemplating this email made me eel stupid. Imagines o ailure mixed with violent acts o revenge as my goal or that month. I mean, was I really that bad o a writer? I knew I was a “C” student when it came to all my academic papers, but Jesus! Was he right? Possibly. Maybe I did need help in my writing skills; no one’s perect. I can’t become Stephen King overnight, but I sure can persevere persevere when lie throws me diapers. So I gave his letter the nger next to the index and persevered like all great humans do. Success was my only option; ailure was o my radar radar.. His negative comments pushed me into an obsession to succeed. I began to perect my crat. Writing or hours at a time, day in and day out, I started to improve. Posting articles on websites, starting my own blog, and even writing material by hand heightened my skills. The more I wrote, the better I became. I didn’t need his approval to urther my dreams. Instead, I used his disapproval as motivation to do even better.

We All All Fail A championship bout is only won with scrapes and bruises. Getting hit with a surprise let hook can knock you down, but only you can decide i you’re down or the count. While the reeree is counting to 10, the decision you make is sel-imposed. Do I lay low rom this tyrant and let him have the glory o deeating me? Or will I stand up and go or what’s rightully mine? You have to decide.


My ailure only motivated my desire to become successul. The critic’ critic’ss words may have struck a chord in my ego, but it wasn’t nearly strong enough to send me running or the hills. I was in or the long haul in the eld o dreams. Nothing was going to stop me rom plowing my own destiny, and nothing should ever stop you. Stupid Thought: Haters will continuously try to put you down whenever they get the chance. Smile at those cynical remarks, and use those words as motivation. When it comes to being the target o hate, this is how I see the world. Men who live their lives hating others tend to marry women who eel the same way. They orm a relationship and procreate, procreate, soon giving birth bir th to a child who continues the legacy o hatred toward toward all people. The cycle continues until the world is lled with with haters. This is the world we live in today. These individuals can be amily members, old high school riends, ex-girlriends, ex-boyriends, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, bodega cashiers, police ocers, your best riend who continues to act like he wants to make things happen but always cancels without giving you a call, the mailman, the 3 train conductor, or even your old English teacher at Nazareth Regional High School who said, “Jonathan, you’re a terrible writer.” You never know who is i s a hater at rst glance, but they can easily be identied once they open their mouths.

Here is a scenario: Susan: You know, Kevin rom accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part o town. Jane (hater): I he is doing so well why does he drive that ‹89 Taurus? Taurus? I you make comments like Jane, then th en you’re a hater. hater. Be a hater i that’s what you want; I know many people who enjoy the thrill o the hate. Just remember several things. You You don’t get paid or it. You won’t succeed i all you do is consume yoursel with hate. Lastly,, it’s a waste o time. Lastly Stupid Thought: What is a hater? A hater is dened as a person that simply cannot be happy or another person’s success. Rather than be happy, they make a point o exposing a faw in that person. Hating, the result o being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates; rather, the hater wants to knock someone down a notch.


Did Someone Say Master Mind? Uhu-hahahahaha “In all societies, it is advisable to associate i possible with the highest; not that highest are is always the best, but because, i disgusted there, we can descend at anytime; but i we begin with the lowest, ascending is impossible.” – Charles Colton

A master mind group is essentially a conjunction o two or more people working actively together in perect harmony towards a common, dened purpose. The most amous historical gures o the past possessed master mind groups, including Henry Ford, Dale Carnegie, and Henry Firestone. These meetings took place in secluded locations where perect harmony was created. Christ himsel, as described in the Scripture stated: “For where two or three are gathering together in my name, there am I in the midst o them.” Master mind groups bring orth positive intellectual and spiritual energy ocused upon reaching a common goal. The purpose behind all meetings is to build each other up, bring orth or th recent successes or adversities, devise plans to become stronger every day, brain storm on relevant topics, and advocate participation, sharing challenges and important business issues o any kind. Your group should meet once per month or every other week. Everyone is accountable or his or her presence unless there is an emer emergency. gency. You want to be around people who will make the most o their opportunities. Association is o vital importance to being happy, so be selective o who you invite into your master mind group. Here’s the criterion. Your members must be highly driven, hard-working dreamers who desire achievement. Camaraderie is also essential, or loyalty is above any other concern when you want to rise above and dominate your reality. My master mind group consists o a ew reliable riends who have been discussed in the previous paragraphs, so you know my crew crew already. already. Good riends are hard to come come by,, so i you have any, learn to keep them. During our meetings we discuss everything by including long-term agendas, short-term possibilities, lawyer appointments, nancial setbacks, and how much hate we believe we are getting rom those who used to make un o our aspirations. We tend to mix up a bit, but business is always the meal rst devoured. My team and I made a pact long ago to dominate every single industry we choose to impregnate with our drive. Personal development being the rst, we made a decision


to win. Whether any o us have college diplomas is irrelevant. We decided during the summer o 2008 to live by three words: “Divide and Conquer.” Conquer.” Our lives are going to be nothing but triumphs and celebrations. That’s all. No matter how much the ticket price may cost. We all made a decision to pay the cost to be our own boss, live an amazing liestyle, and have un each and every day. Nothing more, nothing less. Your mastermind group can include any race, color, credo, or gender; it doesn’t matter. What matters is the determination you bring in the creation o a new empire. You can only benet rom establishing a master mind group. Its unction is to bring you and your peers closer to your goals. Support each other during hard times and network as i your lie depended on it.

Unsure About Whom to Partner Up With For starters, don’t look at your riends. Some o you may be associating with the wrong crowd, so look outside your social tribe unless you already have a goal-oriented team o people who want to live a better lie. It’s best to start associating with people who are smarter, smarter, richer, and more optimistic than you are. These individuals are the movers and shakers o lie. Associating with these individuals will lead you you down a path o sel progression. Where can you nd them? Business seminars where people have what you want is the best way to go, whether it’s the home, career, career, relationship, or car. car. Networking is the easiest way to nd what you’re seeking. The best thing to do is to go where success lingers; it always leaves a trail. Ask yoursel “Where do successul people hang out?” Brainstorm out?” Brainstorm a ew ideas and I bet you’ll nd a ew trails that will lead you to your own acres o diamonds. Last but not least, be very careul who you associate with rom here on. We all need riends, but make sure you’re making the right decision with who you hang out with. Work can’t get done i your riends like to party, drink, smoke, complain, and watch television all day long. You You won’t succeed i your team doesn’t have the same ambition you do. So change up your peers i you want your lie to change. “I you’re smarter than your riends, you need new riends.” – Jonathan Figaro


Success is a Learned Behavior “I you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your lie. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” – Bruce Lee

You can only succeed ater a series o ailures. You must see ailure as an event, not a person. I mean, what’s what’s the sense o crying over spilled milk, right? This reminds reminds me o a lesson in ailure I read about in a tabloid last month on my way to the Dentist in Midtown Manhattan: “A 7 year old boy had been trying to take a bottle o milk out the rerigerator when he lost his grip and spilled the entire contents on the kitchen foor. His ather, instead o scolding him, said, “What an exciting mess you’ve made! I’ve never seen such a huge puddle o milk. Well, the damage is already done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk beore we clean it up?” Indeed, he did. Ater a ew minutes, his ather continued, “You know, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a towel, sponge, or mop. Which do you preer?” Ater they were nished cleaning up the milk, he said, “What we have here is a ailed experiment in how to carry a big bottle o milk with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the back yard, ll the bottle with water and see i you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it. And they did.” What did this experience do? This experience allowed this young man to see ailure as enticing as success. Truthully, Truthully, i I were this kid my mother would have whooped my butt or spilling milk. Not because she had anger issues, but because we were poor, and milk costs an arm and a leg. Luckily or this young man, his ather was dierent. Ater reading this article, I started to think o ailure dierently. I no longer saw my ailures as demoralizing events. I began to appreciate the all and anticipate my rise to victory ater every setback. Ater every ailure, ask yoursel, “What can I learn rom this?” The this?” The answers to that question will lead you down a path o enlightenment. The answer may not come immediately, but it will come. Use this insight to uel you toward maximum achievement.


Success Takes Time Tim e Most people believe success is an overnight gig and believe you me, I learned this the hard way. way. There came a time when I was ready to get paid. Getting laid was no longer on my plate; I was hungry or dinero. Seeking riches let my pockets dryer than the Sahara desert. I ended up joining a couple scams and even a multi level marketing business. I was attracted to the “Make millions within 6 months with our program” headlines. So I swiped my credit card or almost every opportunity known to man. I went rom Amway Quixtar all the way down the 123 power system. I was out o school, desperate, and needed cash ast. Ater losing about eight thousand dollars on an internet business I built rom scratch. I was so depressed; I slept all day long and considered going emo, but didn’t have the heart to wear black nail polish, and I was too broke to buy black clothes. I even missed my uncle’s uneral because I was just so pissed over my attempt to become wealthy. I was a college dropout, with no job, and brokeer than a homeless man who sleeps on the 4 train rom Utica Avenue in Brooklyn all the way to the Bronx. I you’re reading this and you’re not rom Brooklyn, this is a depressing train ride. My website sold our products, and two o the customers wanted reunds. Plus I had creditors threatening to show up at my house i I didn’t pay back those college loans that are so easy to orget orget once you’re out o school. My dream was beginning to ade away,, as smoking weed to calm my nerves crept into my consciousness. By a stroke o away genius, I came up with a revolutionary idea that truly saved my lie. My intuition screeched, “write your own e-book and sell it, you baboon.” You see I bought a reseller’s e-book, which cost me about three bucks, and tried to sell it or 60 dollars on my site. Call me stupid stupid all all you want, but the idea seemed brilliant at the time. Contemplating writing my own book grew into excitement. Could I really do this? I thought. Am I truly capable o being an author? Am I truly about to write a book? Was I the chosen one? Going along with my instincts let me with only one choice: chase the dream o being wealthy by doing something I truly enjoy. That was it. I decided to throw up the nger next to the index yet again at my present ailure, and nd my own path to success. The diculty in writing this book didn’t come rom actually putting words together or even getting my editor to tell me I did a great job. The diculty came rom believing I was a good enough writer to share my words with others. You are not what people have said you are. It is hard to believe now, but with some positive infuences in your lie, things will change. You can see yoursel dierently and choose a dierent path.


It all starts with belie. You have to believe it is possible. I you don’t, then nothing will change or you. Stupid Thought: Sacrice is the name o the game, people. Ask any mother whether the suering o childbirth was worth the pleasure o her newborn. While in labor she may call you every word in the dictionary rhyming with shmuck you, masscole, masscole, or go to shmell, but ater the baby comes out o her womb, her ace lights up like a puppy who has just ound a bone on the side o the street. Happiness overshadows the long hours o pain.

Whatever You You Can Do, I Can Do Better The last lesson o the day is: Believe in yoursel. I know “believe in yoursel” is a cliché. Trust me, I thought I would be the last person telling anyone to believe in themselves, but I don’t have to meet you in order to give you the words o encouragement no one ever gave me. As a youngster I was never a math genius and am ar rom rom one now. I hated ractions, decimals, and calculus with a passion. Aternoon sessions in junior high were a nightmare with no end. I couldn’t get past problem one on the homework without my older brother brother Billy calling me a dumbass dumbass about six hundred hundred times. He usually got so rustrated that he did my homework or me, which was pretty cool until I funked all the math tests and went to summer school. I hate to admit this, but I even attended the Score Tutoring Learning Center on Futon Street in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn to increase my mathematical whit. Sadly, this never worked. It was only during college that I decided to ace my ear and realize how important a role belie plays in our lives. During my days at Stoner Stony Brook University, my three closest pals were Dave Valvano, Charles Soterio, and Nitesh Singh. We all usually had the same classes together because we were all in the medical eld. Math was a course we all hated, but had to take. During our study sessions, rather than complain about how diculties it was, we encouraged each other to pass with fying colors no matter what. We swapped beer pong tournament time or mathematical conquest as much as we could. Soon, I began to understand the concepts rom our teacher; we called him “the hunter” because he dressed like a paratrooper and had a beard as long as an Orthodox Orth odox Jew. By the end o the semester, I got a B+ in the class while my riends trailed behind me. I must admit it elt good, but what elt better was the increased belie in mysel or what


was possible. The grade may not have changed my GPA enough to stay on campus, but it increased my sel-worth. I began to believe I was good in math, and that it is possible to achieve that which I was told I couldn’t do. This was one o the most cathartic lessons I learned at Stony Brook, and it changed my lie orever orever..

Belie is the First Step to Stupid Success William, or example, had to believe he was capable o wooing the opposite sex beore he could actually do it. I had to believe I was mathematically literate to obtain a B+. Belie is the threshold threshold o all success, big or small. As Napoleon Hill, author o Think and Grow Rich stated, “Whatever the mind o man can conceive and believe it can achieve.” The premise o this message is: Believe rst, and when you walk towards your desire believing, you will achieve your goal. As Johann Wolgang Wolgang von Goethe said, “Man is made by his belie. As he believes, so is he.” No matter the objective, you can achieve what others believe is impossible. Who cares what they believe? The question you must ask yoursel is, “What do I believe?” We’ll discuss belie much more in the next chapter, so allow me to leave you with the classic story o Cli Young. Cli Young was a armer born and raised in South Beach on the southern part o Victoria, Australia. He grew up on a arm, spending his whole lie tending to cows, chickens, turkeys, and roosters. At 61 years old, Cli decided to enter one o the toughest races in the world, a six-and-hal-day run in Sydney, Australia. The race was lled with world-class athletes sponsored by big name companies. Cli Young showed up in overalls, galoshes, and work boots. People thought he would die trying to complete in this monstrous event without proper training or attire. Not knowing there was routine or running long distances, Cli ran nonstop or ve days straight as the rest o the runners slept or six hours each day and ran or 18. As dawn approached, Cli would shufe right along his competitors, who were sound asleep. He completed the race at a record-breaking record-breaking 12 hours. Cli has become a legendary tale or all those who believe in miracles. Why did he win over all o these legendary racers? His lack o training paid o o  because his belie was not contaminated by ormer training. Cli’s ability to erase the lines between genius and insanity elected him numero uno in the death-deying race, shattering the mirrors o what is possible or others by raising limiting belies. Envision yoursel as the individual you want to become and soon your mind will match your vision. You will begin to walk the walk and talk to talk congruent with whom you


want to become. Whatever you write on the inside, you will experience on the outside. Become something more than a statistic. Become who you believe you can be, and you will. All it takes is a bit o imagination and belie in the possibility that there is no impossibility.

Stupid Ideas to help you along the way. 1. Nothing beats action; just do it like the Nike commerc commercial. ial. 2. Your purpose can be dened through through a series o questions. 3. Focus on positivity; let go o devilish ways. 4. Learn to balance your lie. You You can work hard hard and still maintain a decent social lie. Anything is possible. I I can do it, so can you. 5. Extra eort equals extra rewar reward. d. As you sow, sow, so shall you reap. 6. Failure is a trampoline box string, just bounce back up. 7. Association breeds similarities. Associate with with people who will encourage you. 8. Spank yoursel silly with sel discipline. Do what you know you should do, no matter your emotional state. It pays o in the end.

Chapter 3

Screwball Dreams

Don’t Turn Turn O the Light. The Boogie Man Will Arrive! As i the revelations o my lie couldn’t get embarrassing enough, the scariest thing or me as a little kid was Chucky, a three-oot doll who had an ineriority complex and lust or world domination and cynically massacred everyone who stood in his way. His devilish laughter beore and ater each slay propelled me to sleep with a nightlight or the majority o my adolescent years. My brother, taking pleasure in my misery, would scream out, “Chucky is going to get you!” in my bedroom beore I went to bed. This usually sent me crying into my mother’s arms, leading her to disciplinary actions over Billy’s civil disobedience! But even though Chucky wasn’t real, why did I ear him? Was he really going to murk me or my amily? Was he going to pop up out o the movie screen screaming, “I got you sucker!”? (Keenen Ivory Wayans’ Wayans’ss smile) So why did I ear his demonic presence, which was truly just a abrication o a sinister screenwriter with one hell o an imagination? Even though Chucky wasn’t real, he was authentic to me. Everyone said, “He’s just a doll, Jonathan.” But I couldn’t believe the hype because I was too entranced by the reality o the situation. I chose to believe. Now how stupid was I to believe Chucky was going to gut me like a sh. From a scale o one o ne to ten, I’d say 2000. No longer earing Chucky, I’ve come to realize this ear has a similar hold on people. It’s like the mother who is too araid to ollow her passion because she thinks it’s too late or the ather who wants to build his own business, but is araid to step out on a limb. In reality, you can ollow your passion and achieve your desires. Many do and are extremely happy to have stepped out on that ledge. Like Chucky, all ear rhymes with you being a wussy! Fear should never hold you back rom achieving happiness, success, or peace o mind.


Imagine how strange it would be i I, at 21 years old, still believed Chucky was ater me all this time! Wouldn’t you say, “Jonathan, bro… you need to grow up, man. Chucky is just a doll rom a movie. He isn’t real. There’ There’ss actually an actor who does his voice and everything. You You can see it on the credits ater the movie is over!”? What i my response was, “What do you mean? O course he’s real; he’s on television and on movie posters. He’s coming ater me… Ah!”? Wouldn’t you think I needed some psychological help? Well, I’m telling you this or your own good. All that ear you hold as true to yoursel is not real. Grow up! It’s only real because you have accepted it as act. No matter how strong you may believe in that ear, its only power is what you give it. So your ear o rejection, heights, or success only aects you due to the intensity o your belies. Without those belies, you would live earlessly. Isn’t that a goal worth aiming or?

Action PLEASE During the World War, the army wanted to make sure every recruiter was able to swim. One o the exercises required recruiters to jump into a six-oot deep indoor pool. One man stood at the edge, e dge, rightened o water. water. Scared out o his wits, he was araid o the mix between hydrogen and oxygen. The ear in this young man was real, as his ace expressed anguish and mortication. While his toes tapped the water or temperature, he slipped into the pool. At rst he was screaming at the top o his lungs, but quickly began to calm down. His body started to adjust to the new environment, and he began to naturally administer to his new eeling o being agile. He started to laugh and giggle, realizing rsthand that his ears were just in his mind, not proportional to reality reality.. To cure your ears o dream achievement, you have to take action. Nothing else will bring earul thoughts to their knees than the act o pursuit. Once you begin to take any kind o action toward your ears, whether stage perormance, public speaking, or working out, they will diminish. Ask yoursel, “What do I ear?” Then write down a list o activities you can do to end this hot mess. Start taking action today. Don’t wait until tomorrow.. Act now. Within a couple o weeks, you’ll conquer your ear with the ease o tomorrow a Samurai warrior.


Hot Chocolate Mama Awaiting my second interview at the 34th Street Macy’s located in New York, New York, I was seated next to a wonderully luscious black woman. With an intention to practice my communication skills, I entered a room in dead silence. Warm bodies lled the most uncomortable seats known to man. Everyone’s eyes looked my way as i I were a rock star. With my mindset o ear-conquering, I immediately started to speak to this lovely lady. Almost convinced o my natural ability to speak to anyone, I started to interrogate her. As the olks around us consumed their minds with random thoughts, I worked her like a slave, whipping out question ater question with no end in sight. I was in no position to let my ears keep me down. So as our conversation grew, I started to get comortable. With the intention o growing not only nancially, I wanted to become as socially active as possible. So I initiated the rst toast as our peanut-butter conversation spread smoothly over her recent divorce, two children currently in college, and position to work in the cosmetic eld on the sales foor. She divulged her past bachelor’s degree experience at Brooklyn College. Taking up courses in criminal justice, she was captivated by the possibility to be a correctional ocer, but her boyriend at the time orbade it because he knew the possible dangers o her job. She ell head over heels or this gentleman whom she described as being a “6’5’’ milkchocolate devil!” But she seriously contemplated his authority over her God-given right to be ree and to choose the path she wanted or her own happiness. Diana nally broke o the relationship due to his lack o support. She said, “I wanted to be ree rom the negative baggage and live lie the way I wanted.” She continued, “Fear can make you strong or keep you weak. The outcome is based on your interpretation o this idea. I spent the next 20 years o my lie loving my job jo b and career. Nothing meant more to me than keeping the inmates peaceul and civil among each other. O course times got rough when I had to whip dat ass, but that was the exciting part. I had to spread my wings and fy toward the direction I elt would make me better. better. I’m happy to have ollowed ollo wed my heart.” As she walked out o the room when her name was called, we both had matched looks o non-verbal appreciation as her luscious body took a hold o her Prada shoes, only to leave a trail o wisdom behind. Reentering the room as i she had orgotten her house keys, she stood close to me and whispered, “I you let ear keep you down, you’ll never get up.” This was the day I realized success in lie was determined by two things:

what you ear and your willingness to conquer those ears. I you can’t conquer your ear, then you’ll never see the light o day even i the sun is out because you’ll be too consumed with anger to realize your beautiul dreams. At this moment, fashbacks to my college days brought me to a tough period in my past. I attended Stony Brook University at age 19, and I elt completely lost. Uneasy about midterms and nals, I was plagued with ailure over and over again. Being Bei ng a health science major meant nothing to me at the time and still doesn’t to this day. Partying like it was 1965, I recalled a conversation with my brother that had a proound eect on my lie. Sitting on my bed, we chatted about various aspects o my lie at that moment, rom girls to academia. I told him I was doing great while I had just recently gotten a D on my chemistry nal and been told by my advisor to retake the course. He got the nger next to the index when he uttered that statement and kicked me out o his oce. I guess he wasn’t too pleased with my reaction, but I had to be honest with how I elt. Speaking to my brother on this crispy Sunday aternoon led to a discussion about ashion. He suggested I start my own clothing line. Right then and there, I hopped o my bed and was enticed by the idea. It was one o the most thrilling experiences o my lie. Although I was heavily into ashion on a personal level, I never considered the idea o doing it on my own. I always knew I could add a little pizzazz to the industry o clothing, but hadn’t given a second thought to being an entrepreneur. entrepreneur. Almost immediately, I began to quickly discuss potential designs and sought out ideas or inspiration. Stupid Thought: I always had a passion or ashion. Writing just came rst. During the months o April and May o ‘08, I spent more time thinking o brilliant ideas or ashion designs than actually studying or any o my nals. For some reason, ashion motivated me more than any biology quiz ever could. I ound it quite miraculous to be able to create a symbol, design, or logo that people all across the world can love and appreciate even though they have never met me and wear my brand with pride as i they had drawn the designs themselves. I did not care much about academia. I was convinced that I wanted to become a ashion designer. I started my own company rom scratch and wanted to display my talents in ront o the masses. Talking with a ew people who enjoyed streetwear as much as I did increased my condence tremendously. With positive eedback rom a select group o people, I started to dedicate hours and hours into drawing up a whole collection o illustrated pieces.


Stuck between the names o Tony Bananas and Timeless, I asked my riend Depot which one would work better. better. Depot and I sat on the benches o McDonald’s on Nichols Road in Long Island to talk about it, but the discussion o my idea turned into a living nightmare. Surrounded by the immense heat o the sun, Depot said, “You’re “You’re starting a clothing line!!! line !!! Haha, that will never work!” It was obvious that Depot was a hater rom the get-go. But at 19, I was too naive to see that he was just another kid who was a product o hatred. Being so ragile minded at the time, I began to eel my heart crumble like the last lea dried up rom the hot summer breeze right beore winter strikes. Holding my pride together, I tried to investigate the reasons or his lack o support. I spoke earlier to a ew college pals o mine like David Valvano, Charlie Soterio, and Nitesh Singh, and they all supported me one way or another. another. Dave, or example, always kept asking me about my clothing line, which showed me that he truly supported my vision. Walking into his dorm room in Benedict, he’d say, “How is Reign Supreme coming along?” (This was the brand’s initial name). Then we’d start conversing about my progress while he provided me with suggestions. suggestio ns. Depot, on the other hand, played a more Lucierian role in my lie at that time. As Depot’s logic and reasoning became harder to reute, reute, I started to doubt my capabilities as a ashion designer. He brought not only extreme negativity into the conversation, but also combined it with the incessant ear o ailure. Convinced by his argument, I went back that night to drink and smoke my dreams away. away. For the rst time in a while, I thought I was on the right path. But my encounter with Depot’s ego edged my dream into oblivion. Soaked in marijuana smoke, I ell asleep with shredded dreams o a hopeless plan. I’ve matured greatly since coming out o this hallucination. I realized his opinion was only as powerul as I made it. Was Depot right about my lack o intelligence or courage to create a brand bigger than Ralph Lauren or Guess? Only i I had accepted his belie would I have still been lost. But as aith would have it, God had better plans or me. His words became as utile as the Conederate resistance against the Union. I soon realized that even though Depot may not have supported my vision, his ear o my success could only harm me i I’d allow it to. His mind was in the sandbox, and I had the vision o an architect. It may have taken me quite some time to realize this ideology, but as the saying goes, “better late than never ne ver.” .”


A Salute to My Soldiers on on the Front Line As a college dropout rom Brooklyn College, my riend Chris Stanley never let ear keeps him rom success. A hip-hop head at heart, Chris could never deny his love or music. Even in high school, he joined the band to display his musical talents. Ater attending two years o college, he realized that success to him was not in a diploma, but in the pursuit o his own passion. Chris elt happiest when mixing tunes rom rap to pop to rock and has dedicated himsel to being a proessional DJ and co-ounder o Hi Lo Entertainment. One o the greatest record record labels in existence. Advocating a stand or what he believes with his “Live Free Die Hard” tattoo, he let the comorts o the classroom to ollow his nature. Chris chose to dedicate his entire lie to music. He did what most people never attempt to do in their entire lives. He jumped o the ledge o comort, expecting to grow his wings on his way down. Soaring through the sky o possibilities, Chris put his dream into action. He took up DJ classes, worked two jobs (including (i ncluding mixing tunes at Pete Wentz’s bar, bar, Angels & Kings at th 500 East 11 Street), and developed the mentality necessary to achieve his goal while still making time to woo drunken women! I’m not sure how he did it! He exemplies a ree spirit who creates his own circumstances, never letting society dictate the pace at which he runs the marathon o his lie. I may not always agree with his liestyle, but his dedication to his crat lets me know his dreams mean more to him than lie itsel. The dierence between him and the majority o people in society is his willingness to take action. Knowing that his dream can only come rom sel accountability, he let ormal education or real-lie experience. I proudly salute Chris or his bravery and all my soldiers - Jimmy Gelin (CEO o Sako Media) Billy Figaro (CEO o Freightway Transportation) Custodio Castilio (uture MLB player), Saba Jenga, Don C, Blackway, Andre Grier (hip hop and R&B legends in the making), Chris Mc Cain (Master Photographer) Chris Harris (Journalist Connoisseur), and Jason Ross (Media, Music and Oil tycoon) - on the ront line o progress. Whether they are in school or already in the real world, these individuals have stepped up to the plate during lie diculties and deserve to be remembered and reprised.


Lesson 1: Take 100% Responsibility or Your Lie But how? That’s a very good question, my ellow big dreamers, big thinkers, and uture go-getters. Do what Chris has done. Listen to the positive voice in your head. Eliminate blame; eliminate excuses. I the blame track or the excuse track plays repeatedly in your mind, say out loud, “I am responsible or my lie and everything that happens to me.” Repeat this statement until the eeling o anxiety subsides. Second, listen to yoursel when you speak. In your conversation, do you hear yoursel blame others or things that don’t go exactly as you want? Do you nd yoursel pointing ngers at your upbringing, your parents’ infuence, your amily members, your spouse, or the amount o money that you make? Are you making excuses or goals unmet or tasks missed their deadlines? I you can hear your blaming patterns, you can stop them. How? Interrupt yoursel when you’re speaking in a negative tone. Start adding positive connotations to your ideas. It’s hard hard to believe in our own ideas i we adopt a satanic persona to our sel concepts. “Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It’s up to you to choose which you will be.” - Harvey Mackay

Thomas Edison Temporary deeat should never keep you rom succeeding. Only when you call it quits does your dream shatter like glass thrown rom a car window. You can only reach your dream through continuous ailure. Edison ailed 10,000 times beore creating the carbon-impregnated lament, which lighted the rst incandescent light bulb in 1879. He ailed and ailed and ailed until he reached his goal. On his 5,000th ailure, he was interviewed by a young man rom the Chicago newspaper. newspaper. The young man asked Edison, “Why do you persist? Don’t you know man was born to light l ight himsel through lie with kerosene and lantern?”


Mr. Edison said, “Young man, you do not know how the world works, but let me explain Mr. something to you. I have not ailed 5,000 times. I have just ound 5,000 ways that will not work.” People don’t realize Edison was the greatest inventor in American History, but also the greatest ailure in American history. His ailures led him to invent 1,093 dierent inventions patented at the U.S. Patent Oce, making him and all his ellow ello w royal colleges extremely wealthy. I’d now like to share with you a wonderul story o how a dream can still live on, no matter what age group you’re in: “The rst day o school, our proessor introduced himsel and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. shoulder. I turned around to nd a wrinkled, little littl e old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I’m 87 years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “O course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple o children, and then retire and travel.” “No seriously,” I said. I was curious as to what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed o having a college education, and now I’m getting one!” she told me. Ater class, we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant riends. Every day, or the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course o the year, Rose became a campus icon and easily made riends wherever she went. She loved to dress up, and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her rom the other students. She was living it up. At the end o the semester, we invited Rose to speak at our ootball banquet. I’ll never orget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three-by-ve cards on the foor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer or Lent, and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order, order, so let me just j ust tell you what I know.” As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only our secrets to staying young, being happy, happy, and achieving success.”


“You have to laugh and nd humor every day.” “You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!” “There is a huge dierence between growing older and growing up. I you are 19 years old and lie in bed or one ull year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn 20 years old. I I am 87 years old and stay in bed or a year and never do anything, I will turn 88. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always nding the opportunity in change.” “Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets or what they did, but rather or things they did not do. The only people who ear death are those with regr regrets.” ets.” She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.” She challenged each o us to study the lyrics and live them the m out in our daily lives. At the year’s end, Rose nished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week ater graduation, Rose died peaceully in her sleep. Over 2,000 college students attended her uneral in tribute to the wonderul woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.” Today oday,, I dare you to win. I dare you to persist beyond what others may expect rom you. I dare you to dream bigger than you’ve ever thought possible. I dare you to imagine the lie you’ve always wanted to live. Imagine a doctor telling you that your lie expectancy has just been dropped to the next 6 months due to a grueling disease. What would you do? Who would you orgive? Who would you speak to? Where would you go? What would you accomplish? Think honestly about all these powerul questions. Sit outside yoursel, and analyze your lie in third person. See where you are now, and envision where you want to be. Leave rustration and embarrassment behind. Don’t orget to laugh at your mistakes. Our blunders make us who we are. Guard your dreams with a st ull o dynamite, a 32-oot-long mineeld, three hungry gorillas, and a machine-gun post on the west wing o your mind. Never say anything contrary to your dreams. Reuse to accept plan B; it only distracts you rom plan A. The saying goes, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” I say, “Put them all in one basket, but watch it.” Break ree rom the shackles o doubt and ear, and embrace change. Without a dream, you can’t see the light at the end o the tunnel. You’ll only jog down the lonely road o lie without a map or exit sign. The key is to dream big, and then do whatever it takes to turn it into reality reality..


Who are some o your role models? Just look lo ok at pioneers such as Rowland Hussey Macy (ounder o Macy’s retail store), Ray Kroc (ounder o McDonald’s), Thomas Watson (ounder o IBM), Shawn Carter (Rocawear CEO and rap artist), Peter Thiel (CEO o PayPal), Mark Zuckerberg Zuckerberg (ounder o Facebook), and J.K. Rowling (creator o the Harry Potter series). All these men and women have one thing in common: A BIG DREAM. Their current success refects their tenacity to think big. You too can be a causality o your positive thinking by inducing yoursel with courage, bravery, bravery, and sel-responsibility. Enter the dream-creation actory with condence. Leave your doubts on the doorstep, right next to ear o ailure and impossibility. Once you’ve done this, ollow the steps below or maximum achievement. You won’t be disappointed.

Dream-Creation Factory 1. What is your purpose? Think o what you truly want to become. Whether Whether you want to be a great entertainer in the music industry, a Broadway showgirl, or a successul online businesswoman, make your dream denite and specic. It’s quite alright i you’re unsure what your purpose is. Ask yoursel the ollowing questions or enlightenment: •

•

•

What do I love to do? What would I do i I wasn’t being paid or it? (It’s the activity that you eel most comortable with and have un doing) What do I nd most value in doing?

Envision yoursel as already having what you want each and every day or 15 minutes at a time. Feel as i you’re already there, and you will reach your nal destination. 2. Package your idea into a solid belie system. Nothing will happen until you believe it’s possible. The second step to dream creation is to believe you can achieve. Stop trying to convince others o your ideas; convince yoursel. Seal your vision in a suitcase o possibility, enthusiasm, passion, and persistence. Allow others to see the ruits o your labor ater you’ve succeeded. Never say too much. Just take action. Results speak or themselves. 3. Git wrap your dream in a bright blue ribbon o daily objectives. Necessary Necessary action must be taken, or you’ll become delusional. Why? Thought without action equals delusion. Become a doer not a gonna doer. Let me ask you this question: how can you judge a man? Is it by what he says, what he believes, what time he


sleeps, who he dates, what he wears, or what car he drives? No, you can only judge a man by what he does. It was said that “a thousand years o thought are nothing compared to one step in the right direction.” Make yoursel accountable or reaching the stars. Track your progress, progress, expect the best, and continue to push orward against possible resistance. The greatest ailures o today are going to be the greatest successes o tomorrow. Remember that! 4. The nal piece o the puzzle is purely purely simple. “Never give up. Never ever give up!”

What Is Your Your Purpose? A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything he knew about martial arts. ar ts. Bruce held up two cups, both lled with liquid. “The rst cup,” said Bruce “represents “represents all o your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all o my knowledge about martial arts. I you want to ll your cup with my knowledge, you must rst empty your cup o your knowledge.” I you want to discover your true purpose in lie, you must rst empty your mind o all previously conceived notions o abricated nature. Your dreams o nancial success, true love, eternal happiness, or a physique that will make Arnold blush are all nice ideas. i deas. But your purpose is not categorized as traits you choose to develop or bodies you want to obtain. Your purpose in lie is what you truly want and love to do. I you want to be successul and live your dreams, do one thing. You have to discover and uncover lie purpose. You have to realize you were put here to do more than drink up all the water and eat up all the ood. There is a signicant reason or why you were born. I don’t care how your mom and dad had you; you’re here. You’ve already already won the race or lie. You You stood a better chance at being struck by lightning than being born. So when you realize that your ngerprints are one o a kind on this planet, you understand how uniquely gited you are as a human being. You’ll also understand that your purpose in lie is not spending hours watching reality shows! You live in reality! Now become a person who lives lie on purpose and with purpose. “The dreamers are the saviors o the world.” - James Allen


The Walkthrough Let me share with you a story o two BIG dreamers, who exempliy courage. These are individuals I personally admire, and maybe some o you are amiliar with their works. For thousands o years, fight was but a dream - the very denition o the word “impossible.” But two young men set impossible as their goal and orever changed the world. A fying toy, as a git rom their ather, sparked a lielong interest. They worked in a bicycle shop, but pursued fight as a hobby. Along the way, the hobby became a passion that relentlessly drove them to try new things, challenge conventional wisdom, continuously strive hard, and reach urther heights. With no more than a high school diploma, the Wright brothers put their curiosity into action. They built over seven fying machines and crashed each more than once. Frustration and disappointment seemed more overwhelming ater each attempt, yet they never stopped believing. Soon ater each ailure, they rebuilt and modied their eorts, continuously applying what they had learned. Like every great success, manned fight was the result o alse starts, detours, and dead ends. Through the disappointments and doubts, determined perseverance and unwavering belie led them on. On December 17th, 1903, in spite o dangerous gusts o wind and below-reezing temperatures, they took a desperate gamble. I they wanted to be home by Christmas, they had to put their belie in the impossible into action. At 10:35 A.M., in a fight o only 12 seconds covering 120 eet, they did what men and women only dreamed o doing or centuries… they few. On the ourth attempt, the plane landed 852 eet rom its starting point in 59 seconds, snapping a support line but otherwise undamaged. They did the impossible. They rose above all obstacles and achieved the unimaginable. “I birds can glide or long periods o time, then… why can’t I?” - Orville Wright Now it’s your turn! It’s time to dream the impossible, set goals and dauntless resolutions, and put unconquerable aith into action in order to achieve the impossible. When you do, you’ll discover that maybe God also intended or you to fy fy.. Trickling down the dream avenue, we come across the legendary story o Sylvester Stallone, most amously recognized or his sensational perormance in the movie Rocky. Maybe you’ve heard o his story, but Sylvester Stallone’s road rom rags to riches was harsher than most can imagine.


Born with a paralyzed chin, tongue, and lip rom a birth-related accident, Stallone was the target o much ridicule or his slurred speech and drooping lower lip. Born into a poor amily in New York City, Stallone attended school in the suburban lie o Philadelphia, where he rst developed his acting skills. He spent two years in Geneva, Switzerland, honing his acting skills, beore heading back to Miami, Florida, and becoming a drama major at the University o Miami, Mi ami, where he began to write screenplays. He let the university beore graduation and moved back to NYC to audition or various parts with no success, much less a single call back. Failure ater ailure led him to star in a leading role in The Lords o Flatbush, in which he received his rst writing credit to urther support his acting career. Despite this small break, he struggled to build any momentum as he continued to audition with one rejection ater another. another. So he decided to cut acting or a while and instead concentrated on writing screenplays, but nothing changed. Stallone tried to sell his ideas, but was given the cold shoulder sho ulder by every possible agency. agency. He ran out o money and became conned in a desperate situation where his dreams interered with eeding his amily. Wandering the cold streets o NYC one night, Stallone strolled into the library as he normally did, seeking compassion rom authors such as Edgar Allen Poe and Tolstoy and motivation to help him keep going in pursuit o his dreams. At one point, Stallone sideswiped the average job, resorting to regrettable acts such as hocking his wie’s jewelry and even selling his poor old dog or $50 bucks. As he sat inside his home stricken with misery rom his actions, he began watching the WepnerAli ght. Inspired by Wepner’s heart to go blow or blow with Ali despite being the underdog, Stallone began writing the story o Rocky Balboa in a matter o 24 hours. He approached directors directors to shoot his vision and got them interested in the t he screenplay. screenplay. His only condition was to act in his own movie. Stallone’s desire to act in his own movie kept him rom taking oers o up to $300,000 even though he was dead broke. So ater countless negotiations, they nally allowed him to star in his movie, awarding him $25,000 only or his eorts. He accepted this deal without hesitation, went back to the guy to whom he sold his dog, and bought it back or a whopping $15,000 and a part in the movie Rocky. As Stallone’s desire and passion or success were plastered on screen, Rocky was nominated or ten academy awards, winning three including best lm. What more can be said? In the words o Russell Crowe as he accepted his long-awaited Oscar or Best Actor or Gladiator, “You know, when you grow up in the suburbs o Sydney, or Auckland, or Newcastle, like Ridley [Scott] or Jamie Bell, or the suburbs o anywhere, you know a dream like this seems kind o vaguely ludicrous and completely unattainable. But this moment is directly connected to those childhood imaginings. And or anybody who’s on the downside o advantage and relying purely on courage: It’s possible.”


Plaster the word “Dreamer” on your orehead with superglue. Let the world know you’re related to John Lennon, and just imagine a world without war, poverty, or cynicism. Remember it’s not about how you start, but how you nish. So do as the wise Winston Churchill said, “Never, never, never, never give up”, and you will succeed. “Spoon Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. Neo: What truth? Spoon Boy: There is no spoon.”

Stupid Ideas worth remem remembering. bering. 1. Take 100% responsibility responsibility or your lie. It’s It’s the only way to move move orward peaceully in the direction o your dreams. 2. Embrace ailure. ailu re. You You have to crawl beore you can walk. Take Take the process o goal achievement day by day. Walk patiently down the road o change. It’s not how many times you all, but how many times you get up. 3. Your purpose in lie is directly directly proportional to what you enjoy doing. I you love to talk, become a talk show host. I you love to write short stories, become an author. I you love to draw, become an artist. Whatever you love to do, just do it. As Shakespeare wrote, “To be or not to be, that is the question.” What’s your answer? 4. (Fill in the blank) ear! (sexy voice) It’s all in your head.

Chapter 4

Bonkers Imagination

“I closed my eyes to see my dreams. Seeing is believing,” said Dr. Seuss, as my eyes wandered o the page. As I tucked my baby cousin into her bed or the rst time, she asked me, “Can dreams really come true?” As innocent as a puppy dog lost on the side o the Brooklyn Bridge, the ve-year-old Jasmine looked deeply into my big brown eyes, wondering i dreams were real. I said, “O course, dreams are possible. You You can do anything you put your mind to, sweetie. I you can believe it, you can achieve it.” Looking long and hard at her own refection in my eyes, she pushed away her Dora the Explorer bed sheets, fung her arms around my neck with enthusiasm, enthusi asm, and asked, “You “You really mean I can be a ballerina on Broadway like Anna Pavlova or a talk show host like Oprah?” I wasn’t sure who Anna Pavlova was, but I agreed with conviction! I couldn’t deny the beauty o Jasmine’s innocence, as she started to jump up and down in her SpongeBob pajamas and drool over the possibility o possibility. Jasmine was never told that it was possible, and hearing that made her the happiest I had ever seen. When it was time or bed, she slid back with a large smile on her ace and red dots on both o her cheeks. Her eyes glowed with joy and excitement as I sang her R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Could Fly” beore she slipped into Alice’s Wonderland. Walking out o her room at 10 P.M., I reminisced about the time I believed in nothing but loose women and alcohol. That’s not to say I’m not into this now, but my primordial belies o what is possible have grown since then! I immersed mysel in books like Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain as consciousness continuously knocked on my door,, leaving letters on my ront porch. door My dream o being ree rom mediocrity became more certain every day day.. Deeply relaxed on my bed, I envisioned the lie I knew I wanted to live and experience. I closed my eyes, and scenarios o sandy beaches and sunrise on the balcony o my two-story palace in Brooklyn, where the grass would be cut by workers I hired last night, sent me into a blissul existence.


Sliding into my choice o vehicle or the day, I’d decide to be chaueured in my spaceship on the way to a pressing business meeting. As rain began to all, I’d break an umbrella over my reshly cut Dark Caesar and Karen (my emale driver) would swing open my door with the resilience and speed o Wolverine rom Marvel Comics! As I’d enter my Manhattan oce, not too ar rom the Rocawear headquarters, my Nike SB shoes would dunk-tap the foor with elegance. Dark shades would cover my natural expression as i I was born with this accessory accessory.. I’d go into my oce with 3,000 hardworking employees, all determined to contribute to the whole world and happy to be o service to mankind. With a pay scale o 500 million dollars a year, I’d walk into my oce with a warm welcome and a large smile across my ace. My oce would be stockpiled with directors, executives, and mentors brushing up on next year’s nancial possibilities. My company would be rated the most democratic workplace on this planet or the past 10 consecutive years. With a company lled with bright aces and great personalities, I’d do my best to make company lie better than home lie. Ater my morning meetings, I’d speak to my new recruits personally. I’d tell my employees to treat work lie as they do their love lie: “Do it well, take your time, and reach the climax only ater your customer has had theirs!” Surrounded by ame and ortune, my amily would no longer eel the brunt o economic turmoil. Anyone within the amily name, who has been in my lie rom the get-go, would no longer work or a penny at the local Blockbuster. I’d do my best to make my amily sel-sucient on their own with my guidance. The motto goes, “Give a man a sh and you eed him or a day. Teach Teach a man to sh and you eed him or a lietime.” With the expansion o my music label and the rising popularity o my ashion brand, lie is all the sweeter. Awaking rom this wondrous mental experience, I was rejuvenated tenold. I got up more motivated and elt ready to take on the world. I worked more diligently, concentrated or longer hours, and limited external distractions. Tiresome shits at Macy’ Macy’ss may have drained my energy, but visualization always kept me aligned with my long-term goals. The process o the book was halway completed, and my Sinatra plan was coming to lie. I could soon vividly see a Citibank teller saying, “Sorry “Sorry,, Mr. Mr. Figaro. You’ve You’ve exceeded the amount o money we can hold in one account. We’re going to have to transer $112 million dollars rom your checking account back into your savings. Is that aright with you, Mr. Figaro?” Looking in playul disgust, I’d reply, “Well, i you have to. I don’t want it to be any inconvenience on your part.”


She’d say, “O course not, we’re here to serve you. Would you like some more Grey Poupon?” I’d quickly say, “Well, o course my lady!” You see your imagination can take you anywhere you want to go. You must rst see yoursel where you want to be beore it could maniest. France, Germany, Germany, Amsterdam, Los Angeles, New York, Nashville, and Dubai are all locations to where your dreams can take you i you truly believe it. You can dictate where lie takes you by tapping into your imagination. Nothing is o limits. Why not travel rom Belgium to the Bronx or rom Harlem to Hong Kong this weekend? Why not sit on the baseline baseli ne between Shaq and Kobe at the basketball game? Why not see yoursel driving a Ferrari 550 or donating 1 billion dollars to building a conscious community in a country outside the USA? Why imagine the negative when you can envision the positive? Why be average when you can be great? I’ll tell you why. It all comes back to you being a wussy! You’ve become more araid o your own potential than a toddler on a rollercoaster rollercoaster.. You You hold up belies belie s that drain your energy ener gy rather than surge your body with a splash o Gatorade. G atorade. Disbelie in the power o achievement keeps you rom succeeding. That’s ne. Just remember your attitude is the reason you’ve experienced the unsatisying liestyle you’re currently engaged to. But know this: you can call o the wedding at any given moment. You You can rush down to your bride-to-be, give her the “it’s not you; it’s me” line, and be a ree man. You You can leave your intentions i ntentions on the pew and remain single and sel-sucient until you eel ready to walk down that isle.

Family Was Never First Every year, year, my cousins rom Florida would stay over my house during the holiday season. They went rom relative to relative, but my house was always home base. Even though I enjoyed their company, I was always upset at the act that Nasser and Sasha digested all the ood in my house! I mean did they really have to devour my Captain Crunch Cereal and drink all my Gatorade in less than three days? But what could I do? They’re amily. It’s a git and a curse! Separated by two years, Nasser and Sasha Douge grew up right beore my eyes. They rst lived in Brooklyn, New York, on the south side o Flatbush Avenue. Moving rom Brooklyn at age 4, Sasha had just been introduced to her new baby brother two years prior. From that point, my Aunt Frantzie was on a mission to keep the amily close no matter what. I admired her tenacity to keep the amily together. I wish I could have been as adamant about keeping my amily close as she was with hers.

As these words are being typed, my thoughts are pressed against my current reality. Family was the last thing on my mind while reaching or my dreams. I missed every celebration rom Baptism to Christmas dinners because o my obsession to succeed. Excuses such as “I’ve been busy” or “I had something important to do” only weakened the bond between me and my amily. amily. Whether they perceived me as a riend or oe is unknown to me. Labeled the rebel among the Gelin amily, I have always processed this world quite dierently. Leaving school, working in the real world or $8 an hour, and dreaming big caused people to make assumptions about me, day in and day out. How did you eel, Jonathan? Were you aware o this act? Did you get oended? These questions must be running through your mind right now. Well, I was aware o course, but not at all oended. I learned a long time ago to take nothing personally. Lie is too short to keep hatred buried in your heart. But their comments at times made me eel so misunderstood that praying was my only way out o insanity. My conversations with God went pretty well. He did what I do or my girlriend… just listened until I had nothing more to say and made me eel at ease with baring my soul in private. The theory I have on lie is that people ear what they don’t understand and hate what they cannot conquer. My amily eared the worst because they couldn’t understand what my idea o lie was or why I was so secluded in my own o wn world. Hopeully reaching this ar in my book, they know now. I didn’t just miss those precious events or Pete’s sake, but or a greater cause. I desperately needed to live the lie I truly desired. I had to do whatever it took to get to where I wanted to be, and my imagination helped me be absolutely ree in every sense o the word.

Imagination Please! A psychological study showed students who spent time vividly imagining the stresses o test exams, papers, and peer-group projects invariably ailed due to the maniestation o mental pressure. The more they gritted their teeth and tried to summon their will power,, the aster they ailed. The answers they already knew seemed to fee their minds power like a rodent in a subway station. Yet when they were relaxed, the answers fowed onto paper as water on a sandy beach. Try not to orce yoursel into a state o imagining. Let your positive expectations fow. Mental strain or pressure will lead to sel-deeat and psychological decapitation. Free yoursel rom trying to get it right the rst time. Let the pressure subside and doubt ade away by walking into the back o your mind and imagining the best o yoursel.


Stand tall and envision your uture with the strength o ten men or women. You You will begin to fawlessly depict your uture exactly as you want it to be. Some people might say that they are not “visual.” I you’re having trouble visualizing, slowly eel the eelings o being great and you’ll be on your way. Lie down on your back in deep relaxation, inhale ve deep breaths, and begin to narrate your uture. Pictures will begin to pop up as your mind movie begins to play, showing you a clear visual o the world you desire to be a part o. Imagination tears down your limiting belies in what you thought was possible, helping you reach urther, jump higher, and go the distance. With visualization, anything can happen. English poet, painter and printmaker William Blake said, “What is now proved was once only imagined.”

R.I.P.. Jamal R.I.P Jam al Hinsburg Hi nsburg Running a lie o tyranny and crime was Jamal, a 5’9’’ student who ditched school with the intent to become great. But he was on lie support or two years ater a “drug deal gone bad” prevented his new dream rom coming to lie. A young man trying to move rom the drug game to the boardroom wasn’t given a second chance. Doctors told his mother that he wasn’t going to make it. With six bullets bul lets in his torso, arms, and neck, the chances or his survival seemed bleak. Turning over in his bed, he spoke to me as best he could. He said, “I imagined this beore. It’s sort o like my greatest nightmare coming into realization. I wanted the cream (money), but it was only a pipe dream. Now my lie is slipping into the bright light o day. Jonathan, I don’t think I’m going to live to see another day.” As I looked into his eyes and tried to hold back my tears, tragedy struck. Doctors rushed to the scene as the young black man was dying or the wrong dream. Breaking my heart to even speak o this matter, I only decided to discuss it ater my editor read the manuscript. I’ve come to terms that I must be honest. It breaks my heart to say that Jamal was a victim o the lie he led and an eect o the choices he made. His mother has lost her only child, chil d, and I have lost a riend, whom I vowed to bring with me as I climb the mountain o success. But how was I to know that Jamal was in too deep? Our association was more Pitty Pat than Double Dutch. We knew each other rom a past lie li e I no longer lead, and now Jamal was just a riend rom a past lie l ie that I’m writing about. Holding nothing but the git o consciousness in my hands, I made a vow to keep my riends above the ground or as long as I can. I’ve since tightened up my circle o riends like a balled-up st. I’m no reverend or preacher, preacher, ar rom it. But when death hits close


to home, you begin to see things dierently dierently.. Sadly, Jamal died while I was still involved with my ex-girlriend, and maybe that was just another major actor in my emotional attachment to her. Was I vulnerable? Possibly, I mean I doubt that she understood how much pain I was eeling seeing her when my riend had recently died. She wanted me to talk about it. But I’m terrible with death. When it comes to someone dying, I shut mysel o rom the world until I “just get over it.” When my ather died, I shed minimal tears te ars or something I didn’t truly and completely understand. I have never spoken o it, and neither has my brother.. It’s like it never happened. Huh… strange it seems. How can one wound begin brother to open others just as painul? But I tend not to think about it or too long because the pain is too much to bear. I realized the choices Jamal made, though hard to say, let him six eet below mother earth. His devilish buoonery was something he paid or with his lie. l ie. It’s a mistake that we can all can learn rom and avoid. The sirens in my mind blared as the young man perished in Kings County Hospital. As I shed tears o grie, fashbacks o my ather’s hospitalization sprung into my consciousness again. Hearing Jamal’s last words sent me thinking about my ather lying on his deathbed and not recognizing his own children beore he passed away. All that was let in his name was a stockpile o memories and photographs. Although he barely made a dierence in my lie or my brother’s, I stopped wondering about his lack o ambition years ago. While my mom worked two jobs, got hersel a college degree, and put me and my brother through private school, my ather worked as a security guard, which barely paid the rent. Jamal’s Jamal’s death brought back bone-chilling memories I thought were buried deep within the sands o time. But apparently, I was wrong. Walking out o the hospital room, I hugged his tearul mother or the last time beore the uneral. While contemplating my ather’s previous worldly existence, I realized any question that I have cannot be answered until I levitate into the arms o my creator and embrace his spiritual essence. Maybe then we can talk about the past while I get a tour o heaven. Or maybe I’ll be so riled up by the thought o seeing him that I’ll orget to investigate, as we smoke up a storm and sip on some wine while foating above the clouds. With revved-up emotions, I chose to drown mysel in mood music. There was no positive attitude at that time in my lie. I had just lost a close riend, and I needed time to heal my wounds. Jamal was lost and never coming back. I have nothing more to say here except “live everyday like it’s your last.”


The Three-Step Visualization Pr Process ocess 1. Identiy the problem. 2. Visualize the solution. 3. Calmly and condently expect the positive change to take place. place. One o the best examples o the power o imagination stems rom Jack Caneld’s Chicken Soup or the Athlete’s Soul, in which Olympic gold medalist Peter Vidmar describes his use o visualization in his successul pursuit o the gold. Read the ollowing powerul excerpt to truly understand the power o imagination. It’s a treat; just don’t get a toothache! “To keep us ocused on our Olympic goal, we began ending our workouts by visualizing “To our dreams. We visualized ourselves actually competing in the Olympics and achieving our dream by practicing what we thought would be the ultimate gymnastics scenario. I’d say, “Okay, Tim, let’s imagine it’s the men’s gymnastics team nals o the Olympic Games. The United States team is on its last event o the night, which just happens to be the high bar. The last two guys up or the United States are Tim Dagget and Peter Vidmar. Our team is neck-and-neck with the People’s Republic o China, the reigning world champions, and we have to perorm our routines perectly to win the Olympic team goal medal.” At that point, we’d each be thinking, “Yeah, “Yeah, right. We’re never going to be neck-and-neck with those guys. They were number one at the Budapest World Championships while our team didn’t even win a medal. It’s never going to happen.” But what i it did happen? How would we eel? We’d close our eyes and, in this empty gym at the end o our long day, we’d visualize an Olympic arena with 13,000 people in the seats and another 200 million watching live l ive on television. Then we’d practice our routines. First, I’d be the announcer announcer.. I’d cup my hands around my mouth and say, “Next up, rom the United States o America, Tim Daggett.” Then Tim would go through his routine as i it were the real thing. Then Tim would go over to the corner o the gym, cup his hands around his mouth, and in his best announcer voice say, “Next up, rom the United States o America, Peter Vidmar.” Then it was my turn. In my mind, I had one chance to perectly perorm my routine in order or our team to win the gold medal. I I didn’t, we’d lose. l ose.


Tim would shout out, “Green light,” and I’d look at the superior judge, who was usually our coach Mako. I’d raise my hand, and he’d raise his right back. Then I’d turn, ace the bar,, grab hold, and begin my routine. bar Well, a unny thing happened on July 31st , 1984. It was the Olympic Games men’s gymnastics team nals in Pauley Pavilion on the UCLA campus. The 13,000 seats were all lled, and a television audience in excess o 200 million around the world tuned in. The United States team was on its last event o the night, the high bar. The last two guys up or the United States just j ust happened to be Tim Daggett and Peter Vidmar. Vidmar. And just as we visualized, our team was neck-and-neck with the People’s Republic o China. We had to perorm our high-bar routines perectly to win the gold medal. I looked at Coach Mako, my coach or the past 12 years. As ocused as ever, he simply said, “Okay, Peter, let’s go. You know what to do. You’ve done it a thousand times, just like every day back in i n the gym. Let’s just do it one more time, and let’s go home. You’re You’re prepared.” He was right. I had planned or this moment and visualized it hundreds o times. I was prepared to perorm my routine. Rather than seeing mysel actually standing in the Olympic arena with 13,000 people in the stands and 200 million watching on television, in my mind, I pictured mysel back in the UCLA gym at the end o the day with two people let in the gym. When the announcer said, “From the United States o America, Peter Vidmar Vi dmar,” ,” I imagined it was my buddy Tim Daggett saying it. When the green light came on, indicating i ndicating it was time or the routine, I imagined that it wasn’t really a green light, but that it was Tim shouting “Green light!” And when I raised my hand toward the superior judge rom East Germany,, in my mind, I was signaling my coach just like Germany li ke I had signaled him every day at the end o hundreds o workouts. In the gym, I always visualized I was at the Olympic nals. At the Olympic nals, I visualized I was back in the gym. I turned, aced the bar, jumped up, and grabbed on. I began the same routine I had visualized and practiced day ater day in the gym. I was in memory mode, going yet again where I’d already gone hundreds o times. I quickly made it past the risky double-release move that had harpooned my chances at the World Championships. I moved smoothly through the rest o my routine and landed a solid dismount, where I anxiously waited or my score rom the judges. With a deep voice, the announcement came though the speaker, “The score or Peter Vidmar is 9.95.” “Yes!” “Yes!” I shouted, “I did it!” The crowd cheered loudly as my teammates and I celebrated our victory.


Thirty minutes later, we were standing on the Olympic medal platorm in the Olympic arena with 13,000 people in the stands and over 200 million watching on television, while the gold medals were ocially draped around our necks. Tim, me, and our teammates stood proudly wearing our gold medals as the national anthem played and the American fag was raised to the top o the arena. It was a moment we visualized and practiced hundreds o times in the gym. Only this time, it was or real.” Still not convinced? Russian scientists compared our groups o Olympic athletes in terms o their training schedules: Group 1 - 100% physical training Group 2 - 75% physical training and 25% mental training Group 3 - 50% physical training and 50% mental training Group 4 - 25% physical training and 75% mental training What were the results? Group 1 ailed miserably due to a lack o mental training. Groups 2 and 3 couldn’t cut the mustard. But group 4, even though physically trained less than the rest, perormed the best. Why? They didn’t change their potential. It was already there, and it had nothing to do with taking more action. Taking Taking action with limiting belies is not going to do anything. They had visualized the results in their the ir minds and went there believing everything had already happened. The same thing occurred with Peter Vidmar and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ater his th Mr. Mr. Universe title at the age o 25, Arnold said to reporters, “I envisioned mysel as Mr. Mr. Universe in my mind all the time ti me beore it actually happened. It’s mind over matter!” You must see it in i n your mind until it becomes so real that doubt no longer harbors inside your spaceship. This way you can have the courage to fy aboard the Nebakanezer into the next galaxy. Your ultimate power lies in your ability to create through imagination. While knowledge denes all you currently know and understand, imagination points to all you can discover and create.


Try the ollowing exercise or kicks, and you’ll see frsthand what I’m talking about. First, suspend your natural disbelie just or one minute while you do this “imagination” exercise. It’s It’s easy, and everyone can do it. Relax and take a deep breath. Now use your imagination, and try to picture this: You have a bright yellow, ripe lemon in the palm o your hand. Rub the skin o the ruit with your hands, eel the texture, and smell it. Now put it on a cutting board, pick up a sharp knie, and slice slowly through the lemon. Juice squirts and runs out o the lemon onto your hand. Put a drop o juice on your nger,, and touch it with nger wi th your tongue. Is it terribly sour? Now answer this: did your mouth water? I bet it did! This simple exercise is more likely to make your mouth water. How? Not only do your thoughts create your reality, reality, but they can also aect your body and make you eel as i what you desired was within your grasp. Using your imagination causes your body to react to what you desired as i it really happened. This is the supreme power o the human mind. Your mouth watering is due to an involuntary refex o the autonomic nervous system. Imagination can make you age aster or age slower. It can cause an ulcer or heal an ulcer. It’s how you use your imagination that determines the outcome and its eect on you. The choice is yours. You You can dream big or small and be slim or at, rich or poor, healthy or sick, smart or dumb. It’s all up to you. Imagination creates reality; dream up your new world.

Stupid Principles You Need To Follow 1. Imagination is your most powerul aculty. aculty. Imagine what is great, not what what is horric. 2. Stay away rom rom a lie o deciency deciency.. It never helps and only hinders you. 3. Avoid the mistakes I made, made, and put amily amily rst or at least second. It hurts in the long run… I’m speaking rom experience.


“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him ree.” - Michelangelo

Chapter 5

Ludicrous Goals

“You don’t try to build “You bui ld a wall. You don’t set out and say ‘I’m gonna build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that has ever been built’. You say ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perectly per ectly as a brick can be laid’. You You do this every single day, and soon you have a wall’. -Will Smith Next to believing in mysel, the idea o setting goals or mysel is a pretty oreign concept. Sixteen years o Catholic schooling and not once was I taught how to set and achieve goals. Not one teacher ever spoke o this our-letter bandit. Wasting thousands o dollars in institutions never kept me centered on this legitimate ocal point. The only goal I was given was to get a diploma; that’s it. The routine o the rat race became more prevalent ater every passing ailed exam. It was obvious my objective in school was not to think analytically, to grow mentally, to nd my own path to understanding, but to conorm without question. To obtain a degree that so many seek. My parents being rom the Caribbean desire or me to achieve a college diploma. The one thing I had objected and rejected with tenacity. The reality o American society as I see it revolves around the three steps process I like to call the 3 G’s. 1. Get a Get a degree 2. Get a Get a Job 3. Get a Get a casket These three G’s are are what I eared o being buttonholed into, what I did my best to avoid all my lie. I couldn’t bring mysel to live this liestyle even i Gina one o my best riend dragged me into a class room and chained me to the desk o the proessor and said,


“sit boy! now learn or o r you get’s no treats,” barking would be useless. The only way out o this prison term was to set my optics on goal setting outside my natural state o euphoria. To set goals outside my comort zone. This allowed me to stretch my mind, open my eyes and stir my brain in the land o possibility. Working orever at the daily grind was not a destiny I could ever stride toward. College was down that same road.

Why isn’t goal-setting taught in school? I think it’s because the people who teach in the educational system don’t set loty goals themselves and instead live sae, complacent lives. How can a sheep teach you how to become a wol i they’re too scared to try on the costume? So while I was paying or a brighter uture, I was truly wasting my money and investing in the 401(k) plans o mindless teachers who taught rom a text book, telling me every chance they got, “I you ail this test, you’ll have to repeat the course.” Contrary course.” Contrary to motivating me, it actually increased my distaste or the classroom. I don’t know about anyone but I never got positive motivation while I was in school; only academic pressure. Exams which could never truly determine how intelligent I was or how ar I would excel in lie placed me in a space o hyperventilation. They say i a pit bull is backed into a corner long enough, it’s sure to bite o an arm, no matter what. Well, this story is my bite, and I think I’m sinking into the bone right about now.

Slacker In school, I was never an honor roll student except during my 1 st year o high school. Ater my ather passed away, I literally gave up. I was no longer motivated by grades; I needed a paycheck. When your mother is stricken with breast cancer and your uncles and aunts are the ones supporting you, it changes your mindset quite drastically. I began to see this place as a cold, cruel world, where nothing matters except or what’s let on the dinner table. I there’s no dinner, dinner, no one else cares at the end o the day. No one is going to go out o their way to put clothes on your back or ood in your digestive tract. The only individuals who truly care are the ones who stood next to you when the storm hit and helped you rebuild the house God tore down. Those are your true riends in lie. But as my mind began to slip into the reality o survival, I made an oath to do more than just tread the line. I made it i t a command to become more. It may have taken me a while to realize it, but the truth was beginning to settle in.


So what is a kid supposed to do when he’s just lost his dad? Rebellion was my calling. Labeled the class clown, being a slacker became my M.O. Nothing mattered to me at this time in my lie. I could have ended up anywhere. I was shocked I even got accepted into college to be perectly honest. With all the rejection letters I received, I was surprised when St. John’s University in Jamaica, Queens, accepted me or my reshman year. year. But at about $42,000 a year in tuition, it was obvious I wasn’t going to be there long. So I transerred to Stony Brook University and partied parti ed like it was 1995. During college, I rarely made it to class, let alone al one attended schedule tests. I plagiarized because this mundane activity called hard work catapulted me into instantaneous boredom. Ater being caught plagiarizing my philosophy philo sophy paper at Stony Brook University, University, I was sent to a class called “How to Do Honest Work in College.” I was orced to add this course to my already hectic schedule o partying and sexing emale delicacies. But in the end, the only o nly way I could express my eelings or research papers was by buying this poster and hanging it on my wall.

Months ater, I still couldn’t tell you how this helped me. For I couldn’t understand the necessity o writing research papers when my mother couldn’t pay the rent or my uncle had just passed away as a result o surgical complications to remove a tumor tumor.. And let’s not orget textbook purchases. With all the money I was paying or text books, I might as well have been raising a child in my dormitory. dormitory. Textbook Textbook ater textbook on statistics, biology and, oh yes, math. With all the stresses rom my social and academia, this lead me to soak my animates in marijuana smoke and ESPN highlight reels. But with all the

test and quizzes being passed, not to mention midterms and nals, there was one key thing I wasn’t being taught: how to set and achieve goals.

What is a Goal? I’ll allow Earl Nightingale, pioneer o personal development, to illustrate the importance o this our-letter noun. “Think o a ship with the complete voyage mapped out and planned. The captain and crew know exactly where the ship is going and how long it will take — it has a denite goal. And 9,999 times out o 10,000, it will get there. Now let’s take another ship — just like the rst — only let’s not put a crew on it, or a captain at the helm. Let’s give it no aiming point, no goal, and no destination. We just start the engines and let it go. I think you’ll agree that i it gets out o the harbor at all, it will either sink or wind up on some deserted beach — a derelict. It can’t go anyplace because it has no destination and no guidance. It’s the same with a human being. Plain and simple: “People with goals succeed in lie because they know where they’re going.” My lie was headed downhill because I never set a goal or what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be or where I wanted to go. I just wandered, day in and day out, like a eral cat. You may say, “Hey, Jonathan, you were in school. Wasn’t your goal was to bring home that diploma by any means necessary?” I’ll reply, “You’re “You’re right. But I wasn’t motivated by this idea.” I didn’t enjoy waking up every day, listening to my proessor yap and yap about a subject which bored the heck out o me, then pretend to study so I can pass the test, hopeully moving onto the next level which is even more daunting, and increasingly dicult to conquer. I just couldn’t do it to mysel. I’m not sure how people do it, but being something I’m not is ar rom my character. No matter how much my mother wanted me to attend school ater my decision to stay out; I had to do what made me happy.. Since I only live one lie, I had to do what I wanted, not what others thought was happy best or me. I’m smart enough to make the right choices, even i it was unconventional. But don’t get me wrong, i you’ve graduated rom college or are still in school, good or you, and i you’re black, you get two thumbs up. I have a bunch o riends who brag about their diplomas and i you’re one o them, congratulations. That is one awesome achievement, no cynicism. Picking your credits or next semester, dealing with the same old caeteria ood, and typing up papers or classes you may not like when you’d


probably want to relax on a beach somewhere is hard work. I can’t downplay any o you guys because I’ve been there; it’s a constant uphill battle. But my experiences in lie have shown me i I’m not passionate about the idea, I won’t work to my ullest potential. And i I’m not working at my best, my time is being wasted. When time is being wasted money is being thrown away and I can’t aord to do such childish things. I’m quite grown. Once you make the decision to grow up, you realize goals are essential to advance in any area o your lie. I you don’t set goals, you’ll be nothing more than miserable, impoverished, and share the characteristics o Jane, “the hater.” I you want to be happy, you need to have a goal in lie, some type o aiming point that will keep you eeling alive no matter how bad it may get. Take or instance, i you’ve decided to take a road trip to Florida. Your buddies are jammed in the back in a our-door sedan you’ve borrowed borrowed rom rom your mom. Three Three hours on the highway, you ask your best riend or the map and he replies, “Dude, I thought you had it.” Now you’re somewhere between Kansas and Nashville with no clear idea o how to get to Florida. Where do you go rom here? How do you get home? You’ve taken so many exits during the past ew pit stops; you can’t recall your last departure rom the main road. Now stuck next to a trucker’s diner which looks like a scene out o a horror ho rror fick, you’re you’re lost. Millions do the same with their lives. And guess what? They never have gotten home. Without a road map, how can you get to your next destination? You can’t. You need to have a goal to give you a sense o direction, an indication o where you want to be. Any goal is better than no goal, in my book. Be clear on where you want to go and who you want to become, or i you set your heart upon it, you’ll reach it.

Stupid Rebels I admire Here is a list o rebels who I have admired or quite some time, those who said, “No thanks,” to school and yes to everything else. Henry Ford - Founded Ford Motor Company and would be considered a billionaire

today, i he was alive. Even though his company is worth today, wor th several billion in today’s dollars, Ford received only a modest rural education. Let his home on the arm to work as an apprentice machinist in Detroit, Michigan. Later he ran a sawmill and became a chie engineer or Edison Illuminating Company beore starting the Ford Motor Company.


Andrew Carnegie - Considered one o the richest men in the world at one point,

dropped out o elementary school, and started to work at the age o 13 as a bobbin boy in a textile mill. Will Smith - Grammy-winning rapper, actor. As the Fresh Prince, he and DJ Jazzy

Je released their rst album beore he nished high school. They received the rst Grammy or a hip-hop act. Due to the success o that rst album, Smith decided to dismiss college or show business. Multimillionaire insurance businessman, ounder o Success magazine, and author o a number o books on positive mental attitudes. At the age o six, he sold newspapers on the south side o Chicago. By the age o 13, he owned his own newsstand. He continued to work odd jobs until his mother bought a small insurance agency, where where he helped her by selling insurance. At the age o 21, with $100 in his pocket, he established the Combined Registry Company insurance business which he built into a multi-million dollar business. He dropped out o elementary school but later attended high school night courses and some college. W.

Clement

Stone -

creator, Marvel Comics (Spiderman, The Hulk, X-Men, The Fantastic Stan Lee - Comics creator, Four). Started working when he was still in high school. Never attended college. Ralph Lauren - Billionaire ashion designer, ounder o Polo. Let the City College o

New York York business school (Baruch College) to design ties or Beau Brummell. Steve Jobs – Billionaire co-ounder o Apple Computers and Pixar Animation; Disney’s

largest shareholder. Dropped out o Reed College ater six months and went to India beore returning returning to Silicon Valley. As he said, “I had no idea what I wanted to do with my lie and how college was going to help me gure it out.” actor. Dropped out o Cal State University ater a ew years Tom Hanks - Oscar-winning actor. to work as an intern at the Great Lakes Theater Festival Louise Hay - One o the bestselling authors in history and ounder o Hay House. O

other amous women authors, Levine Breaking News has noted, “They did not change the spiritual landscape o America and several o its Western allies. They were not pregnant at 15 and they did not lack l ack high school diplomas.” Louise Hay did. Ted Turner -

Billionaire ounder o CNN and TBS, owner o the Atlanta Braves, philanthropist, America’s largest landowner with 1.8 million acres. Was asked to leave Brown University during his ourth year. Got suspended twice, once or having a girl in his room and other activities. In an interview said, “I’m down to a little more than a billion. You can get by on that i you really economize and don’t buy a lot o planes and yachts and stu.”


“You “Y ou got to love entrepr entrepreneurship” eneurship” - Jonathan Figaro Thought I’d share with you my personal list o people I look up to. You know, you’re never too old to have a role model, especially ones who reach billionaire status. People like this reek value, power, and exude the aroma o success. You know the scent. The heavy ragrance or cologne an individual wears that anyone can spot, especially a gold digger. So i you want to reek this type o power, all you need is a major denite purpose, and do whatever you can to achieve it. Stupid Thought: Your major denite purpose in lie is the one goal that is important to you at this moment. I you achieve this it will change your lie and help you complete all your other goals in a successul ashion. And just remember, ailure is the ertilization or success. So don’t expect to succeed your rst time around. That’s like saying you’ll become Michael Jordan overnight. Success takes time, but with consistency you can succeed. Some o you are setting goals as we speak but are unconscious o it. This is or all the emales in the audience who came out tonight . Maybe you’re a woman who enjoys cooking wonderul ood or your amily or would rather eat out. Either way, your goal is to get ood into your stomach, sto mach, right? To To eel at ease with what you’ve created so you and your amily can sleep peaceully. Luckily, Luckily, I was one o those children who had a mother who made sure o that. She always made sure my brother and I had ood in our stomachs, and money in our pockets. She made everything rom macaroni to chicken soup. Her goal was to keep us eed, educated, and happy happy.. This may be your goal right now as a single mother, widowed or in love with your adoring husband. The point is, even something as common as cooking or your children or buying new clothes or your daughter is a goal. No matter how big or small, it’s an objective nonetheless. Just apply this same determination to keep your children in line towards a desire you most certainly want to achieve and you can reach it. And i you don’t have children, pretend you do and go clothe your dream with only the best lie has to oer o er.. Stupid Thought: With small steps you will be able to achieve what once seemed ambiguous at rst. Goals provide humans with purposeul direction, channeled energy, energy, and a road map to a nal destination. The successul person in society is not the person with the most money. Let me clariy this right up, because most people think i you have a lot o money then you’re successul. There are plenty o people who have billions o dollars but are piss-poor in happiness.


Now I know you might say, “Negro, please, i you gave me a ve-million-dollar home, a ew exotic cars, a couple o million dollars, and decent social status, I’ll be happier than a kid in a candy store.” But, only the misguided believe this act. The act o the matter is you’re only going to be happy moving towards a worthy idea. You can have all the money in the world, but i you don’t a have a purpose, you’ll end up like those attention-seeking celebrities who we all laugh about during our hour break at work. You know what I’m talking about. The successul person knows it’s about the journey, not the destination. The work it takes to build an empire is much more enjoyable than the knowledge that you have 15,000 employees working or you in the end. I can tell you rsthand. Writing this book, building the website, and networking my ass o with tons o people while creditors threaten to beat me with a baseball bat i I don’t pay up, was much more enjoyable than seeing the success o my hard work in any shape or orm. It’s hard to believe or many, but the truth is a pathless land, why not walk hand and hand with reality?

It’ss a bird, It’ bi rd, it’s a plane…no it’ it’ss a GOAL. A goal gives a picture to the subconscious, and without a goal, man is much like the boat with nowhere to go. Goals give us the energy we need to remain remain on the track long enough or its accomplishment. Goals motivate us. Like a captain o a ship about to leave port, we should be able to tell anyone our next port o call. I you have ever travelled by boat, perhaps you were surprised by how slowly most large ships move through the water. In a time when it’s time common or us to drive at 60 to 70 mph across the San Francisco Bridge or fy at 600 miles mph over China, Bangladesh, Europe, Montana, Jersey or even New Mexico. A ship pulling away rom the dock and heading or a distant port at 20 knots may seem slow indeed. But the ship moves steadily 24 hour a day, always on course. And the cumulative eect o such relentless singleness o purpose has us at the next port o call in a surprisingly short time. People with goals reach what they’ve set their hearts and minds upon. Even while we sleep our subconscious minds are working on the project. That’s why we oten awake in the morning with a clear solution to a problem that oered resistance to our progress. We think about our goal as we have our morning coee or take a morning shower. It comes to us again and again during the day. We’re on course and moving toward the ulllment o our current goal. And it’s oten the last thing we think about beore heading o to bed. Goals are our aiming point. And people with aiming points tend to reach them. People with goals tend to live longer than people who don’t. It is as though they can extend


their lives simply because they have something to do. It’s the interest which seems to lend vitality and energy to their lives. And when they do come to the end o their lives, they’re caught up in ull stride, ully alive, and still moving towards a new interesting point o call. So goals or such people tend to ascend in stair-like ashion, each one more demanding and ullling than the one beore. In a ew years, they nd themselves accomplishing things with surprising ease. They begin to achieve goals that would have been impossible when they began their gyred toward the uture. The journey toward a meaningul goal is more ullling than the destination itsel, leading you into new areas o interest in a surprising kind o synchronicity. Quite oten i we read a story with quite the coincidences, they are oten a natural part to a goal-oriented person’s active lie. We’d put it down while muttering, “Impossible,” but, as astonishing as it may seem, that kind o synchronicity becomes an active part par t o the goal-oriented person’s lie. The right people tend to show up at just the right time. Situations suddenly change, opening yawning chasms o opportunity when beore there were none. At a meeting we nd ourselves being introduced to the exact person we most need at that particular stage o our journey. A minor accident which we may have rst perceived as a setback turns out to be a blessing in disguise. For the people working towards goals it may seem as though the smiling ace o good ortune has joined us on our quest. And we should learn to be alert or such serendipitous occurrences; there apart rom being on the journey, rather than resting at the inn. We should not orce such happenings; as the Taoist reminds us, “not to push the river.” We need to go with the fow; the right things will happen at the right time, without orcing, without impatience. Keep steadily on course, our goal clearly in mind. And we nd ourselves with our goal realized one ne day, just as we raise the coast line o the port to where our ship is churning or our sailboat’s sailing. There it is and we shield our eyes and stand at the rail and imagine we can smell the land and hear the sounds o the busy harbor. harbor. Soon we are tied up at the pier; our latest journey is a success. Yes, to me that is the way to live. No matter your situation, set goals. Without it you’ll be lost at sea as the tides begin to overshadow the starboard. Stuck with the piercing power o Poseidon, you vanish to the bottom o the sea, lieless, and breathless. Be a champion and set a goal to be the best ghter in your division, you’ll be amazed at how ar you get.

Money Talks In the late eighties, Bunker Hunt, who rose rom being a bankrupted cotton armer at the age o thirty-ve to having a net worth o six to seven billion dollars at the time o


his death, was once interviewed on television, tel evision, and asked, “What advice can you give to an individual who wants to be nancially successul nowadays?” He said, “Son, I have established hundreds o corporations in my lietime and made billions o dollars. I ound that it is not dicult to be successul, only two things are required. requir ed. First o all you must decide exactly what it is i s you want to accomplish.” Most people never sit and write down exactly what they truly want out o lie, whether physically,, mentally, nancially or spiritually. You ask a person today how much money physically they would like to earn this year, they say “enough to stay afoat.” Ask afoat.” Ask another person ater a workout regimen how much weight they want to lose and they say, “I just want to be thin.” People never get specic about their desires because they are too araid o ailing. Most people are so scared o ailing, attempts turn utile. Aiming low l ow or saety, millions never unlock their true potential. Fear keeps them rom growing their wings on their way down. Scared out o their wits, most people ail to live up to their potential. Aiming or the moon is contradictory to their desire, so they live lives o quiet desperation, as Thoreau observed. How low are you aiming? Are your goals challenging enough? Do you even have goals? What are some o your short-term goals? What are your long-terms goals? Wait, beore I get ahead o mysel: what are your goals or today? Do yoursel a avor and write down six objectives which, i acted upon every day, will enhance you nancially, physically, and/or mentally over the next ew years. Be detailed in description and work towards their attainment. In addition, write down your top ten goals or the next twelve months. Don’t place judgment on your desires; just write them down. I you place too big a goal in ront o yoursel, you may reluctant to try it out. Just ollow your heart and you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to complete such a task. Don’t base your uture possibilities on past events, and mishaps. Imagine i I had stayed trapped in my depression over my decision to leave school. I would have never been able to have un, write this book or get over some chick. Lesson rom the wise: get (ll in the blank) over it. Start a brand new chapter today. It’s It’s really never too late. Bunker then stated “Next, you must determine how much you are willing to pay to achieve it. And must resolve to pay that price, making the sacrices required to reach your goal; that’s all that is necessary”. He said determine the price and resolve to pay that price. People never make the decision to make sacrices in order to reach a common goal. I had a riend like this. I think she’ll know who she is when she reads this. This sultry young evanescence is what you consider a B.S (bull shiter). She eeds you a whole lot o bull and then shits her cell phone to ignore when it’s time to get things thi ngs done. We have


all known those types o people, that one individual who talk a great game, but when it’s time to practice, shows up three hours late, airily gives an appointment excuse, and acting like she’s on time. Sometimes she wants to reschedule last minute or even better,, never shows. A ew days later you get call rom her, probably a text because she better is too much o a coward to admit weakness ace to ace. Then she ollows the same cycle again and again until they’re 60 years old, piss-poor, piss-poor, with nothing to show but hair extensions to where her knees. My advice is to stay away rom these kinds o people. Because your ve closest riends are refections refections o whom you are. And what their bank accounts look like will be the same as yours within the same timerame. So i your account is overdrawn $3,000, I bet your roommate is not too ar rom those digits as well. Sacrices as said beore are essential or goal achievement. Fear o ailure is what keeps you rom achieving success or obtaining, and maintaining happiness. Most o you race to the nish line but never jog a mile. Mentally pumping yoursel up or success, but ailing to take action. You can do more in a short shor t time with goals than a lie time without them. Your destination in lie is determined by the clarity to which you see your goals. A clear, denite purpose is necessary to a lietime o treasure. Golden coins, lavish liestyles, exotics cars, ne dining, ne women, or ne men or the ladies, can be bonuses, but not objectives. Your Your goals must be dissected into means and ends. Your end goals are the results you will receive rom attainment, such as a lovely home, luxury car or a new wardrobe. Your means goals are the necessary tactics you must do in order to reach the end. I you want to be happy and successul you must choose goals congruent to your lie’s plan, purpose and sense o value.

What are are your most important values? Let’s say we have a husband who is a businessman. He works long hours at the oce to provide or his children and his wie. She has just given birth to another baby boy, so now he must place his mind on nancial reedom, rather than security. While he creates a business plan, works night ater night at the oce, and networks with the best o them, his wie takes care o the children. She makes sure they are dressed, ed, happy, happy, and just plain adorable. One day this couple is o to the mall with their children. Holding hands, these olks are having a smashing good time. But each individual is ltering their highest values. As a businessman the husband is more ocused on suits, neckties, business portolios, por tolios, and G-Shock watches. His mind is gloried by the endless possibilities o creating more capital or his business and raising interest in his niche. His wie, bearing all our kids


by her side, is absorbed in the accessories or toddlers crated by Disney, illustrated by Child crat, and displayed in The Children’s Place store. Even though these individuals are madly in love with each other, their values are dierent based on what’s most important to them. You must identiy what your values are and select goals congruent with these ideas. I you want to be a successul entrepreneur then the hierarchy o your values will be contacting, reading success literature, developing a sound vision and working towards to wards your goal each and every day. I you want to be a college proessor, then your goals would consist o getting your degree, conquering your ear o public speaking, networking with proessors in your eld o interest, etc. Think about what is most meaningul to you. Beauty, success, love, curiosity, selexpression, starting a amily, mending old riendships, accumulating wealth, weight loss, social welare, building condence, developing laser ocus, unstoppable determination, physical strength, sel-education, preservation o your dreams or accepting college admissions. Be honest with yoursel. I success and wealth are more important to you than amily, it’s okay. I’ve had this eeling beore. Only God can judge you, let people think as they may. Don’t let others dene you. Or you’ll denitely be a foor mat others walk on. Place down three o the most valuable aspects o o  your lie on paper without judgment. Then i it may not be up to par, set your values into what it should be. Once completed, work on making this thi s desire a reality.

Wealth, Wea lth, Love and Success Let me share with you a story about love, wealth and success which can help you steer your way into the right direction. A woman came out o her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her ront yard. She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.” “Is the man o the house home?” they asked. “No,” she replied. “He’s out.” “Then we cannot come in,” they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am home and invite them in!” The woman went out and invited the men in.


“We never enter a house together,” they replied. “Why is that?” she asked. One o the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said, pointing to one o his riends. Pointing to another, he added, “He is Success. And I am Love.” Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one o us you want in your home.” The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!” he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and ll our home with wealth!” His wie disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?” Their daughter was listening rom the other corner o the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be lled with love!” “Let us heed our daughter’s advice,” said the husband to his wie. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.” The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one o you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.” Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and ollowed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?” The old men replied together: “I you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two o us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there there is Love, there is also al so Wealth and Success!” I all else ails, choose love. Love will lead to happiness, glory, and truthul expression. Finding love in work comes rom developing a love list. List at least three to ve things you love to do. Then write down all your strengths. Ask yoursel, what would I do i I knew I could not ail? Your answer to this question is your calling. Just ollow your beating heart. “Love and Work…Work and Love…that is all there is” – Sigmund Freud


The Wisest Man in the World A young man asked Socrates how he could get wisdom. Socrates replied, “Come with me.” He took the lad to the river, pushed the boy’s head underwater, and held it there until the boy was gasping or air, then relaxed and released his head. When the boy regained his composure, he asked him, “What did you most desire when you were underwater?” “I wanted air,” said the boy. Socrates said to him, “When you want wisdom as much as you wanted air when you were underwater, underwater, then you will receive it.” Your desire to live a better lie must be in correlation with Socrates’ student. Indulge in activities that take your breath away. Strap your purpose around your shoulders like a parachute; open to a reason or living. It may be drawing, painting, sculpting, playing soccer, running, dancing, teaching, speaking, driving, talking, firting, lming, orecasting, seeing the unseen or eeling the invisible. Now listen, I Oprah can converse on television ve times a week or an hour talking about stories positive and negative while meeting celebrities and outright criminals rom dierent parts o the world so can you? While making more money than most can even contemplate let alone dream o. Do I hear the word “possibility?” Or are you still trembling at the ear o deeat. Your choice man, I’m just the messenger with words to change how you’ve been interrupting yoursel and this world. I believe i you put as much energy into something good as you do into the bad in your lie, l ie, you can prevail, with a bit o patience and tenacity.

How do you know you’re on purpose? You’re on purpose when happiness comes naturally rom your eorts, even though times may be rough and money may not be apparent. Happiness is moving towards your dreams and eliminating negativity rom your mind. I you’re happy to be moving towards your desires; you’re on purpose. Happiness is not ound in materialistic gadgets or the insatiable desire to spread hatred towards mankind. Happiness, i you’ve orgotten, is a state o mind. You might eel happy when your child is born, when you graduated rom college, when you got married to the husband you’re now divorced rom. Maybe you were happy when you got your rst puppy or when the orecaster said it was going to snow all day but it turned out to be


sunny. However lovely these experiences may be, they do not give real, long-lasting happiness; they are transitory. Happiness comes rom eeling great about who you are, what you’re doing and where you’re going. It about how you eel right at this instant, not how you’ll eel ater you’ve applied all these principles or bought your new home. Happiness is a thought away. It’s based upon the decision you make here. Okay, enough Tony Robbins-style motivation or one aternoon. Let me share with you a story told by spiritual teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer. It expresses the idea that happiness is truly in the minds o those who think rst and ask questions later. “This story is about a 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady. She is ully dressed each morning by eight, with her hair ashionably coied and makeup perectly applied, even though she is legally blind. She is moving to a nursing home today. Her husband o 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. Ater many hours o waiting patiently in the lobby o the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description o her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm o an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room yet. Just wait.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead o time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the urniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind.” Start sliding some good thoughts into your memory bank.

Stupid Practice Makes Stupid Perect. 1. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t can’t do something. Decide specically what you want and go ater it, PERIOD! 2. Money and success are products products o love. Your Your love or any subject will bring wealth and success, guaranteed. 3. Work like a slave, eat like a king. Sacrices must must be made in order order to achieve your dream. Pay the price today rather than tomorrow tomorrow.. 4. Goals are the driving orce orce to success. You You must have a road map in order order to get to your destination. Your road map is your seven daily goals, which i completed will lead you to the lie you want.


5. Choose happiness above all other things. Like Bob McFerrin said, “Don’t worry, worry, be happy, because everything little thing is gonna be alright.”

Chapter 6

Idiotic Peace

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things thi ngs I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the dierence. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, Taking, as He did, this sinul world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right i I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this lie and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.” Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr Ni ebuhr I gure, since you’re almost nished with this book, I’d open up the chapter with one o my avorite prayers. I’m not overly religious even e ven though my mother goes to church more times than an active pastor. But I eel the reality in these words. It connects to me somehow; maybe it does the same or you. These words helped me nd inner peace when times o insanity struck my soul, such as when I lost $8,000 on a ailed business. Well I recited these words every morning to get me through the day. It was sort o like a guiding orce in my lie at that time and still is. It has helped get through what some call “a harsh reality,” and it will to do the same or you, i you believe in a better days.

But what is peace? My denition o peace is being at ease with yoursel, no matter your circumstance, or outside environment. Knowing in the end everything will turn out in your avor, no matter how bleak the situation seems. Having aith that no matter what you will end up on top o the ood chain. “The sun will come out tomorrow, so bet your bottom dollar there’ll be sun,” says Annie. This is the best attitude to have. Most o you believe peace is diluting yoursel in Mary Jane on a Friday night, watching a ew HBO specials, or chucking down a six-pack o Miller Light during the All-Star game. Nothing wrong with that! I, too, nd it pleasurable to sit back with my riends and enjoy the NBA game rom time to time. Or even go bar-hopping with my buddies and you guys already know I have no problem pung the ganja. But those situations don’t dictate i I’m at peace or not. I’m ree rom mental


anguish no matter i I’m at a lovely lounge with a beautiul emale or reading a book on my ront porch on a hot summer day. Peace is not a onetime event. It’s having an inner knowledge that no matter where you are right now, you’re you’re at ease with the circumstances, good or bad, because nothing in this world is permanent. Everything is changing and so will your circumstances. So let go o your worries so you can continue to grow and enjoy lie even when things seem horrendous. I had a hard time nding peace in the beginning. But as I grew wiser, my decisions were more mature. I chose to be happy with where I was and do what’s necessary to get where I needed to be. I couldn’t get things done while I was upset. I had to be content right then and there. I I wasn’t happy now, a ancy car wouldn’t be enough to make me smile. I’d probably complain about its excess gas usage, constant expenses to keep with maintenance, and my riends always bumming rides rom me. I had to change how I elt inside to receive a dierent outer circumstance. I had to change my reaction or perception in order to be at peace. So, “Thanks a lot, I really appreciate that,” became my new mantra. I chartered aboard the plane o appreciation and let my baggage at the gate. Though security was tight, when you fy private, you can’t tell the dierent. Gratitude is a cliché similar to the line “white men can’t jump.” You can’t disagree with a act, and gratitude is just the same. When you’re appreciative appreciative o what you have, you can’t complain about what’s bad in your lie. Why? Because you’re too busy admiring the struggle and the triumphs, the trials and tribulations, the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. These events create who you are, chiseling your character with an ice pick, with a determination to create a sculpture not too ar rom Michelangelo’s David. When you learn to appreciate, lie is seen as a blessing not a trac jam over the Brooklyn Bridge with your pregnant wie in the throes o labor pains screaming, “You did this to me.” It’s you soaking up all the good in your lie to get rid o the bad eeling you may have. Happiness begins to ollow you everywhere you go because you’re thankul or the clothes on your back, ood in your stomach, paycheck at the end o the week, the ability to hear, walk, and see. As I began learning to appreciate what I had, everything seemed to change or me. I started to see the lie I lived as a miracle because I could have been someone else. I could have been in jail, alsely accused or a crime, inside an eight by twelve cell in complete innocence. I could have been a cashier at the local Quick-Mart with three children and the rent past due. I could have been a hit with tuberculosis as a youngster and let wheelchair. I could have been a Navy Seal who lost his lie over some rich man’s greed. I could have been a prostitute who believes her only value comes rom


establishing sexual avors or money. I could have been a plumber who has a racist boss, but can’t leave his job because he needs to pay his daughter’s college tuition. I could have been any o these people, but I’m not. And I thank God every day that I’m who I am. Start eeling the same. Everyone has a story. Everyone goes through pain, struggling every day, and living lives lled with regret is what most do. Lie is a harsh reality or millions. But i you begin to be grateul or what you have, you’ll become more at ease with your situation, and nd a rational way to solve your troubles with intelligence. Kick the habit o being miserable and close the door on company that came with it. I moved out o my habit patterns o cynicism and became more grateul or what I had. I lowered my anger towards mysel and raised the bar or what is possible. Doing this thi s was not easy, but with practice it was one o the best decisions I’ve ever made. Learn to be grateul or what you have now. Everything could be taken rom you in a millisecond. Just be happy with what you have and peace will ollow as the architect o your thoughts. Stupid Thought: When times look bleak, it’s always best to stay calm and think things through. Only the strong survive and the warriors o today never panic. Take it one step at a time. You can persevere through through the pain. As Fredrick Douglass who was a brilliant orator, abolitionist, editor, reormer, lecturer, statesman and women’s suragist said, “Without struggle, there is no progress.”

What’ss inside? What’ Let me share with you words rom Dr. Wayne Dyer who can help you see the vision o peace more clearly, clearly, now I’m paraphrasing, so hold nothing against me. “When you take this orange and you squeeze it as hard as you can squeeze it, what comes out? Orange juice! Never, no matter how many times you squeeze it, will apple juice come out, there’r there’ree no mistakes. Now we expand the metaphor and someone squeezes you. That is, someone says something about you that you don’t like. One behaves in a way towards you that is expensive. Somebody does or says something to you that hurts hurt s you. And out o you come anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, ear, anxiety, and stress and immediately you say the reason it comes out o me is because o how they said it. But the reality is that what comes out is what is i s inside. And i you don’t like what’s inside you can change it.” One character trait o the greatest players in sports is the ability to stay calm and resilient when the pressure is on. Whether there’s there’s 4.1 seconds on the shot clock, their

team is down two points and the championship on the line these individuals are calmer than a smooth summer breeze in Montana. When it’s the bottom o the ninth with bases loaded, and the greatest pitcher in the game since Tom Seaver is on the mound, the great players in the world are calm in pivotal, game-winning situations. Pressure does two things: Busts pipes or creates diamonds fawlessly crated as i God himsel placed his hands around this beautiul gem. I you want to enjoy the journey o success, let go o the pressure. Realize success is important, but not that important. As long as you put orth the eort, add creative thinking, and have a solid support system; no worries should consume your brain. Lie is too short not to be at peace. Jamal died at 19 years old, he never knew what peace was, until he was resting in peace. Take lie one day at a time; be grateul or what you have, and walk calm, and crisply toward your goals.

How can peace o mind be achieved? “Reaching a higher level o consciousness not avored by the average human, I stepped it up another level and meditated like a Buddhist,” I said to my cousin, Melissa. Just sixteen, she looked at me dumbounded and walked away. Her expression was reminiscent o the one my mother gave me when I told her I was going to be a billionaire. The greatest people on this planet are oten misunderstood. Certainly my riends couldn’t understand why I chose to begin to meditate. Meditation has an esoteric essence towards the masses. But in reality it’s used by millions o people across the planet. What meditation does is hold up. Let me allow multi-millionaire Russell Simmons explain the beauty o meditation. “Meditation is or anyone o us who wants the cycle o good to happen, wants to be optimistic, wants to be an inspiration.””. Meditation is another combination to open the lock o inner sanctity. When you sit down, breathe in deeply, and begin to silence your mind, something special happens. You go back to where we all originated rom: silence. I know this may be ar beyond the belie systems o many o you, but when you meditate, you connect back to rom whence you came. Everything on Planet Earth Ear th originated rom somewhere and meditation just brings us back to that essence. Silence can be used to solve your most pressing problems, problems, invoke inspiration, provide deep relaxation, build sel-condence, deeat allergies and chronic diseases, diminish anger and aggression, and give you more emotional control.


Damsel in Distress Annulled and astonished about her place in society, a young woman approached me with a sense o unsettlement. She was out o harmony and wanted some solid advice on how to end her mental conusion. She said, “My thoughts are all over the place. I just need peace o mind. I need a babysitter or the children, my husband keeps nagging me or some alone time, and I need a new job. Man, I just want to escape it all! Can you help me?” Honestly, I just wanted to get her phone number, but ater hearing she had a husband I didn’t need the bad karma. So I advised her set aside 10 minutes each and every day in pure silence. Several weeks later I ran into her at a local bodega. She greeted me warmly with a hug and a kiss while her husband glared. She told me she’d completely changed her way o thinking. “Everything seems to just fow so much better now. I’m not as stressed as I used to be. I’m more organized and even my condence has risen. I’ve only been meditating or about three weeks now, but I can eel the dierence already. already. Thanks so very much, Jonathan.” It’s been months since I seen her, but I know she’s doing okay.

Steps to Silence 1. Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. Sit where you eel comortable but not so comortable that you risk alling asleep. (This has happened to me many times ater work and I end up waking up the next morning, so don’t get too relaxed.) Keep your back straight, sit on the foor, couch or sot cushion in a lotus pose and place your hands in a comortable position. 2. Take deep breaths breaths while concentrating on your breath. breath. As you begin to slide into deep relaxation, your thoughts will begin to ade away. Don’t worry i you don’t silence your mind completely; it takes a lot o practice. But with persistence this new activity will become a habitual part o your lie.


“The governor, in his travels, stepped in to pay homage to the Master. - Aairs o state leave me no time or lengthy dissertations. Could you put the essence o religion into a paragraph or two or a busy man like me? - I shall put into a single word or the benet o your highness. - Incredible! What is this most unusual word? - Silence. - And what is the way to Silence? - Meditation. - And what, may I ask, is meditation? - Silence.” - Lao Tzu Meditation provides an endless supply o joy and sel-acceptance. While writing this chapter, I read a line rom Dr. Dawna Markova, “No Enemies Within” which struck a chord in me. Allow me to pull the strings. “Nasty creature, angs dripping evil, open jaws revealing a dark, oul black throat, Milarepa stepped closer to this huge demon... “And said with quiet compassion, ‘I must understand your pain and what it is you need in order to be healed.’ Then he put his head in the mouth o this enemy. In that instant, the demon disappeared...”

Sel - Appr Appreciation eciation (For The Stupid Ladies) The healing o your heart starts with sel-appreciation. Just look in the mirror and start loving who you are. For example, some women look in the mirror and dismiss themselves as not being pretty or smart enough. They hope to see a refection o Victoria Secret’ Secret’ss latest cover girl or King Magazine’s top ten beauties o the week, but ail to meet society standards. The act is o the matter is these models are just alse perceptions o beauty. Who’s Who’s to say a thick lips, thick thighs and asting like li ke Ramadan is considered the equivalent work o art to, say, a Da Vinci painting? Those aspects are opinions o those who have the power to shove their opinion in your ace. Be yoursel; don’t try to be something you’re not. Lie becomes much easier this way way..


Stupid Thought: I you don’t dene yoursel, others will dene you. You maybe a woman who thinks like this on an ongoing basis. And believes guys will all in love with you because you look l ook so attractive. But i the guy alls or how you look on the outside, which person will all in love with what’s on the inside? The real you, the woman who picks her children up rom daycare ater a long hard day o work. The woman who cooks a real meal and reuses to use Stovetop no matter the occasion. The woman who is spiritual only because she been through some things, God himsel put her through just to make her stronger. The woman who writes poetry in private to express how she truly eels inside because she thinks no man will ever understand her, so she’s orever misunderstood. Her past experiences have taught her to keep her love hidden, because the rst time she told a guy “I love you,” he smiled it i t o, and said “thanks I’ll call you back.” Knowing she never elt like this or another person beore. She now lives sheltered behind alcohol and cigarette butts until that wound ully heals, i it ever does. I bet you’ve been though something also. I’m not a counselor, or going to give you a 15-second technique to get over what lie has handed you over and over again. But even though the past is heart-wrenching and sometimes too painul too look at; you have one thing on your side, the present present moment. Today is a brand new day and things can change or you right now. As long as you’re ready to make the transition. You can learn to get over these sad events by looking lo oking yoursel in the mirror today and accepting who you are right now. It may take a while as you didn’t invent these patterns o thought overnight. But i you stand in ront o your mirror and start saying “it’s okay, okay, I can move on and I love who I am no matter what because I am great. I deserve great things and will achieve whatever will make me happy.” With belie and condence, yoursel image will begin to change rom negative to positive with patience. You You will begin to grow more mature as a woman quite rapidly. The premise is to, love thysel. No point in seeking what you desire in someone else, when you have it already already..

Let’s laugh yoursel silly Making people laugh has been a git I’ve had since the day I was born. I always love to see someone smile, especially a stranger. The distance between two strangers, I’ve read, is always a good laugh. I agree. One o the best ways to break the ice and still keep your composure is a good joke. People always tell me I should be a comedian. But it was never my calling. My girl thinks so, too, but she just likes the way I can turn any upset upside down when lie gets too hard or her. her. Reminiscing on our relationship now, it doesn’t seem that long ago when we would park up by the South Street Seaport, where she’d open up and talk about tough times in her lie, and I’d mend her heart, by putting a smile on her ace. Releasing the stress accompanied by a warm hug.


As a youngster I used comedy as a way to stay relevant with the “cool” kids. But as I grew older, older, I just became the type o guy who could make anyone smile. It’s just who I am. Whenever my riends and I get together all we do is laugh and crack jokes. It makes lie un, exciting, and a truly a blessing. One o the things I want you to do is laugh. Let go o the misery in your lie today. Pop in a tape o your avorite movie and laugh until you cry. Then appreciate the moment, or these are the events which truly matter in lie. l ie. Do whatever you have to so you can spend more time laughing then crying. Take Take things in your reality lightly, or this is why all angels fy above the clouds. Laughter heals all wounds and places you in a position o joyous celebration. Even i today isn’t your birthday, laugh likes its 1975 or as i you just hit the Lotto. Find peace o mind in the simplicity si mplicity o laughter, (unless your asthmatic then you need Albuterol!)


“And when I get that eeling I want sexual healing Sexual healing, oh baby Makes me eel so ne” – Marvin Gaye Sex in college or me was everything next to beer pong extravaganzas. And i you’re a guy, or a girl who doesn’t want to admit it, then you know what I’m talking about. The three-letter word which was shunned by our parents when we asked them, “Where do babies come rom?” I don’t know about you, but my mother gave me the most ridiculous answers known to man. Such as “the sky; they sprout rom the ground or even better, planet Mars”, she did her best to keep me rom nding out mysel. But that didn’t last too long. But this isn’t about me, this is about you, and how sex can benet your lie. I pretty much think I got your attention, so let’s get to the nitty gritty. When you’re in position, make sure you… — nah I’m kidding. One o the greatest benets o sex is it releases stress which establishes inner peace and relaxation. It’s one o the saest and greatest interactions which can bring peace to one’s souls soon ater. ater. This is why guys like me make you ladies all right asleep ater one is released; waking up the next day rejuvenated and cooking breakast ater you had such a long nap. The power o sex heals the mind rom disastrous ideas, concepts o a destructive nature. I was once told by a man, who was going to revolve his issue with his wie with verbal cadavers upon her arrival her home that sex saved him hi m rom over reaching.. reaching.. He said, “I’d had enough o her nagging and I elt it was time give her a piece o my mind.” I asked him “So what happened? I don’t see any rouses o mental anguish or disturbances; they were apparently holding hands rather tightly. For his wie was seated right next to him. He said “We started to have sex; I or orgot got all about it. She put it on me.” We all laughed hysterically. No matter how uncomortable you may be with this subject matter, I’m not sure why you may be but sex is how you were created. No one on this earth was born without their parents getting it on. Please do your best to remove that image. Sex reduces stress, relieves tension, raises your sel-esteem and ater, you eel calm, relaxed, and satised. Sex is a great way to slow down, relax and enjoy an experience probably not too keen in heaven. So i you’re eeling down and out don’t worry; sex can clear that right up. Enjoying ecstasy with the one you love. What else can you ask or? It’s ree, easy and there is no o switch.


Learn rom my blunders. 1. Fear is man’s greatest enemy. enemy. It’s behind ailure, sickness, and bad human relations. Love is an emotional attachment to the good things o lie. Fall in love with honesty, integrity, love, justice, good will and success. Live in the joyous expectancy o the best, and invariably the best will come to you. 2. Happiness is the harvest o a quiet mind. Anchor Anchor your thoughts on peace, poise, poise, security and divine guidance and your mind will be productive o happiness. 3. Silencing your mind to eliminate ear, worry and sel pity; replacing your subconscious mind with peace, harmony and love. lo ve. 4. Sleep is essential or peace peace o mind and healthy body. body. Lack o sleep can cause irritation, depression, and mental disorders. You You need eight hours h ours o sleep. 5. You are spiritually rechar recharged ged during sleep. Adequate sleep is essential or joy and vitality in lie. 6. More sex equals less stress. stress. Climax yoursel into a state state o instant euphoria. Just remember to wear a condom. Hopeully that was obvious. 7. Gratitude brings peace.

Now go live lie stupidly.


To my mother and brother Savenise Gelin and Billy Figaro

So much could be said about what you’ve done or me. All I can say is thank you.

Acknowledgements Acknowledgem ents Jason Ross, Khalani Saunders, Charlie Sotiriou, Chris Harris, Dave Valvano, Nitesh Singh, Bryan Deonarine, Hi Lo Entertainment, James Scott, Chris Stanley, Christopher, Harris, Father Rocco, Christopher Columbus beore he killed the Indians, Mrs. Mercanci, Mercedes aka Grandma and The entire Gelin amily. There are too many o you to name but i you know who I am, been in my lie or an early age and know where Uncle Ronald lives, that means you. (Shana, Edward, Jimmy, Jimmy, Andy, Ketsia, Melissa, Julie, Nina, Hudson, Huns etc.)

Works Cited:

1.

Earl Nightingale’s Lead the Field

2.

Psychology o Achievement Achievement by by Bryan Tracy

3.

http://verydemotivational.memebase.com

Thank you or readi reading! ng! http://www.JonathanFigaro.com is the home to writer Jonathan Figaro. I you enjoyed this document, share it, tweet it, review it and spread it around like a disease. (Kidding) I you’re on Twitter Twitter or Facebook then you can add me and stay in touch. http://twitter.com/jonathangaro# http://www.acebook.com/pro http://www.a cebook.com/prole.php?id=100000 le.php?id=1000000547449 054744999 99 I you ever have any questions, suggestions or even just want to say Hi, then eel ree to get in touch. Just shoot me an email at j at j onathan[email protected] onathan[email protected] All the best Cheers Jonathan Figaro

http://www.JonathanFigaro.com

Six Stupid Things People Do to Mess Up Their Lives 2011-05-30

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