Semantics and Scenarios (Mode One) - 2010

SEMANTICS and SCENARIOS

SEMANTICS and

SCENARIOS

Insid e the Mind Mind of th e Manip Manip ulativ e Game Game Player Player

Alan Al an Roger Ro ger Cur ri e Mode One Multimedia, Inc. USA

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ALAN ROGER ROGER CURRIE

© Copyright 2010, Alan Roger Currie All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Enterprises, Inc. 2009 Other books by Alan Roger Currie: Mode One: Let the Women Know What What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One-HARDCORE Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking

http://www.modeone.net

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SEMANTICS and

SCENARIOS Insid e the Mind Mind of th e Manip Manip ulativ e Game Game Player Player

Alan Roger Currie iii


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CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION INTRODUCTION .......................... ........................................ ............................ ............................ ............................ .................... ...... 1 CHAPTER ONE: Fool Me Once, Shame Shame on YOU … Fool Me Two or More Times… ...... 5 CHAPTER TWO: The Growing Growing Animosity Animosity Between Between men and women ............................ .............................. 13 CHAPTER THREE: Semantics ............................ .......................................... ............................ ............................ ............................ ........................... ............. 23 CHAPTER FOUR: I Want to Have Casual Sex, But I’m Afraid to Let You Know ............ 28 CHAPTER FIVE: Ultimately, Ultimately, We All Just Want Want to Have Things Go Our Way ............... ............... 36 CHAPTER SIX: For the Women: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Manipulative Man ............... ............... 45 CHAPTER SEVEN: For the Men: Inside the the Mind of the Manipulative Woman Woman ............... ............... 54 CHAPTER EIGHT: The Ideal Goal for Every Man or Woman: Woman: To Be Authentic Authentic .............. .............. 74

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Introduction Even though I love to write, I have to admit … I did not want to write another book. After I completed Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking , I told friends and acquaintances that would be my only book. Then, in early 2007, I got talked into writing a second book (which I only published as an eBook, not a paperback). Finally, approximately one year ago or a little longer, I decided to write my second paperback and third eBook entitled, Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking. Thinking .

All of my books emphasize the same general theme: Encouraging men and women to express their romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to each other in a manner that is more highly self-assured, more upfront and more straightforwardly honest. Just about everything I write is directly or indirectly related to that one central p hilosophy.

Lack of honesty and lack of open, forthright communication is, in my opinion, the #1 factor that is destroying the rapport between men and women, wome n, and ultimately preventing them from experiencing great relationships. Even worse, all of the perpetual dishonesty and manipulative ‘head games’ are causing a high degree of animosity between the two genders. A major chasm between the sexes.

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I am a straightshooter. I don’t like game-playing. In other words, I want the desires, interests and intentions that I express to others to either be a) reciprocated or b) rejected. This is the objective of all straightshooters. straightshooters. I will will talk more about this throughout this e-book.

One, first as an eBook (2001) and later as a Publishing Mode One, paperback (2006), has really changed and affected my life. I spent most of my 20s and 30s pursuing a career in the Entertainment Industry (as an actor, stand-up comic, screenwriter and filmmaker), but yet it took one book about being honest with your dating interests to cause my name to gain notoriety both here in the United States as well as in just about every country in the world (I have had some of my readers tell me that in some countries, my name is as well known as an A-list movie star … as least, amon g single men).

I still get criticized by some for not discouraging men and women from engaging in casual sex and/or premarital sex. So what. Again, I do not feel it is my place to tell grown men and grown women how they should live their lives. If a man or woman has a desire to engage in short-term non-monogamous sex with multiple members of the opposite sex, that is their choice. We all make choices, and we ultimately ultimately live with the consequences and repercussions of those choices.

My role is not to tell a man or woman to choose emotionally profound relationships over casual sex. My only purpose is to suggest to men and women that whatever your romantic and/or sexual objectives are, you need to be upfront and

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straightforward about them … otherwise, your lack of honesty and manipulative tendencies will hurt others, and at some point in the future, it will hurt YOU.

If you notice, people are the most likely to change how they behave towards others when their own behavior comes back to haunt them. For example, if a man has the M.O. of constantly lying to women, the moment he meets a woman who he is really attracted to and really cares for, he will be devastated when that woman develops a habit of telling him a number of blatant lies.

In my experience and observation, I find that the vast majority of men and women who lie to people don’t like to be lied to; The vast majority of men and women who mislead people do not like to be misled; And the vast majority of men and women who manipulate people and toy with their feelings do not like to feel as though they have been manipulated or have had their own feelings played with.

My goal for this book is to delve deeper into the mindset of those men and women who employ an assorted number of manipulative head games with members of the op posite sex.

I believe once you are able to quickly identify the type of manipulative game player you are dealing with, the more effectively you will be able to utilize Mode One Behavior as a means of disarming their manipulative tactics.

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As with all of my previous books, you will notice many questions for you to answer. I’d like to think think of all of my books as more “self-examination” than “self-help,” although these two concepts are virtually synonymous.

Ready to identify the manipulative game players of the world? Are you sure? Good. Read on.

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Chapter One Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Two or More Times . . . Just about every discussion I engage in with others related to dating and relationships somehow ends with women blaming men for their disappointments and frustrations and men blaming women for the same. There is a saying that whenever you point your finger at someone, you usually have three fingers pointing right back at you.

Here is the reality: For just about every form of behavior that you dislike in the opposite sex, you have members of your own gender who enable and motivate that behavior.

Example #1: Women who are perceived as “gold diggers” diggers” If you did not have men who were attempting to attract and seduce women by offering financial favors to them or highlighting their salaries, net worth and/or material possessions to women, ladies who are known as “gold diggers” would cease to exist.

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Example #2: “adulterers”

Men who are known as “cheaters” and

If every woman in society were to only have sex with a man who was their husband, fiancé, live-in companion, or exclusively committed lover, men who are branded as “cheaters” and “adulterers” would cease to e xist.

Example #3: Women who are perceived as “bitches” If there were no men in society who were weak, egotistically insecure, extremely passive and willing to allow women to treat them in an undesirable and/or disrespectful manner, men would not have to resort to referring to a woman as a “bitch.”

Example #4: Men who are referred to as “jerks” and “assholes” What is a ‘jerk’ anyway? That term is so vague and subjective. subjective. Similar to women being referred to as “bitches,” the only women who typically refer to a man as a “jerk” and/or an “asshole” are usually those who allowed men to exhibit behavior that was undesirable, disrespectful, highly inappropriate and/or selfish.

shame on YOU. Fool me Classic Adage: Fool me ONCE, shame TWICE, shame on ME.

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In the event you are not familiar with this age-old saying, what this means is this:

If you exhibit behavior towards me that is not to my liking, and you gave me no ‘warning’ that it was in your character to exhibit behavior that is unpleasant, undesirable or disrespectful, then I have a valid reason to criticize you.

Now once I know that it is in your character to exhibit behavior towards me that is not to my liking and/or is not mutually beneficial to the long-term enjoyment of our friendship or romantic relationship, and I allow you to repeatedly exhibit such behavior, then I can no longer pass the blame on to you. It is my fault for allowing you to exhibit exh ibit such behavior.

One, you will recall If you read my first book already, Mode One, that I emphasized that you always have to be hardline against behavior that is blatantly disrespectful or shamelessly undesirable. A man or woman will will always always be whoever you allow them to be. If you allow a woman to consistently behave like a spoiled, selfish “bitch,” then she will continue to exhibit such behavior. If you allow a man to consistently behave like a verbally and physically abusive “asshole,” then he will continue to exhibit such behavior.

Let us start with the basic core of a straightforward, nonmanipulative interaction between a man and a woman (assuming the man is the pursuer):

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BOY SEES GIRL BOY APPROACHES GIRL BOY EXPRESSES HIS ROMANTIC and/or SEXUAL DESIRES, INTERESTS and INTENTIONS TO GIRL GIRL RECIPROCATES BOY’S INTERESTS -orGIRL REJECTS BOY’S INTERESTS BOY and GIRL START DATING (seriously or casually) -orBOY and GIRL GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS

See how easy dating COULD BE if there were not any egotistical insecurities, lies and/or manipulative head games involved?

Let’s now examine how we as men and women complicate the dating process by allowing one or more of the above-mentioned factors to influence our behavior.

Scenario #1: An egotistically insecure man and his attempt at interacting with a woman: BOY SEES GIRL

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BOY SAYS TO HIMSELF, “I’m not that educated or goodlooking; I don’t have a six or seven-figure salary; She is so beautiful and sexy. She probably already has a number of guys pursuing her. her. I might as well just give give up right now.” now.” BOY CHOOSES NOT TO APPROACH GIRL BECAUSE HE ASSUMES SHE WILL NOT BE INTERESTED.

Scenario #2: A man with a penchant for lying and playing head games and his attempt at interacting with a woman: BOY SEES GIRL BOY APPROACHES GIRL BOY EXPRESSES AN INTEREST IN A LONG-TERM, MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP … BUT … HIS REAL INTEREST IS A SHORT-TERM, NON-MONOGAMOUS INTERACTION GIRL RECIPROCATES BOY’S INTERESTS GIRL EVENTUALLY HAS SEX WITH BOY BOY DUMPS GIRL AFTER HAVING SEX WITH GIRL A FEW TIMES GIRL IS HURT, ANGRY and BITTER

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BOY GETS HIS TIRES SLASHED

See what happens? Insecurities caused the man in the first first scenario to essentially “reject himself” before he even made an attempt to converse with the woman. Lies and head games caused the man to get his tires slashed from a bitter woman.

Scenario #3: A woman woman who desires employment offers offers and financial favors looks to toy with a man’s feelings: BOY SEES GIRL BOY APPROACHES GIRL BOY EXPRESSES AN INTEREST IN A LONG-TERM, MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP GIRL “PRETENDS” TO BE INTERESTED IN THE SAME THING, BUT IN REALITY, SHE IS LOOKING FOR FINANCIAL FAVORS AND GIFTS BOY “WINES & DINES” GIRL GIRL DUMPS BOY AFTER HAVING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY SPENT ON HER GIRL SOON DEVELOPS REPUTATION FOR BEING A GOLD DIGGER AND A USER

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BOY DEVELOPS MISOGYNISTIC FEELINGS TOWARDS WOMEN

More often than not, once you develop a reputation for doing wrong by others, you will soon find that your potential dating prospects in the future will begin to diminish.

Throughout this book, I am going to describe a number of malefemale interaction scenarios and provide you with Mode One based guidance on how to work through them.

Now, before we move on to the next chapter, a few questions for your first phase of ‘self-examination.’

1) Men: Think of the last time you you categorized a woman as a “bitch,” a “gold digger,” an “attention whore,” or some other subjective criticism; Do you think your reasons for doing so were valid?

2) Women: Think of the last time you you categorized a man as a “jerk,” an “asshole,” a “dog,” or some other subjective criticism; Do you you think your reasons for doing so were valid?

3) Think of someone you dated for a while, and particularly, someone who frequently exhibited ex hibited behavior

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towards you that was undesirable, abusive and/or disrespectful; Why did you allow them to exhibit such behavior towards you on a regular or semi-regular basis?

4)

What are some of the reasons why you tend to hide, deny, suppress and/or lie about your true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions with members of the opposite sex?

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Chapter Two The Growing Animosity between Men and Women As most of my readers know by now, I am the host of talk radio show that centers on any and all topics related to dating and relationships. It disappoints me each and every time time I hear women bashing men, and men bashing women. What is with all of the bashing?

All of this bashing comes from hurt feelings, bruised e gos, pentup frustrations towards the opposite gender, and just plain old bitterness and resentment caused from being b eing repeatedly lied to, misled and manipulated.

I could probably be a millionaire right now if I had authored a book entitled, “All Men are Jerks & Liars!” Women love to read books that bash men, and excuse them from any sense of accountability regarding their own flaws and weaknesses.

I would also be on my way to quickly becoming a millionaire author if I were to author a book entitled, “How to Seduce ANY Woman, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE No Matter How You Look or How Much Money You Have!” (I think there actually are a

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few books with similar titles by some Seduction Gurus from the Attraction & Seduction Community).

Wake up. Do you want “fluff “fluff talk” or REAL, RAW talk? I can easily tell you what is pleasing to your ears, and offer you some sort of “magic pill” for your problems, disappointments and frustrations. Realistically though, you would be right back to square one in a matter of days and/or weeks.

“Fluff Talk” Alan: Listen up ladies. All men are liars who are just looking to get into your your pants. There are no good men out here in today’s dating scene. The handful of “good men” you will find will more-than-likely be in a Sunday church service. Do men lie to women in order to have sex with them? Of course many men do! Here is the revolutionary insight on this problem though: Many women WANT MEN TO LIE TO THEM.

I didn’t stutter. You heard me right. right. There are a number of women in today’s society that want men to lie to them about their sexual desires.

I asked a woman recently, “if a man approached you and said, ‘the only reason I’m conversing with you is because I would like a blowjob from you. Are you game?’ would you be cool with that, or would you feel offended or insulted in some sort of

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way?” Quite naturally, she said she would feel uncomfortable at minimum, and at maximum, flat-out disrespected.

And this, my friends, is why men lie. Imagine if all single men who frequent nightclubs were to just exhibit Mode One Behavior Behavior and approach women and let them know what they are REALLY thinking. This would change the whole atmosphere of the typical evening out at the local nightclub or bar/pub/restaurant.

Instead, men have to play this silly game of, “I am going to offer to buy you drinks so I can engage in trivial, inconsequential ‘small talk’ and lead you to believe that I want something more than just sex from you.” Blah, blah, blah. (Side note: Please watch the opening of the romantic comedy, Four Christmases Christmases,, starring Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn; Their interaction demonstrates what I’m talking about. Vaughn initially exhibits Mode exhibits Mode Two Behavior, Behavior, before making a bold, sudden switch to Mode to Mode One Behavior; Also, listen to the song by pop artist Ke$ha entitled Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah)

Men do not necessarily lie or mislead women because they want to. In some cases, yes. yes. In most cases though, it is because women give men the impression that they do not want to hear the raw truth.

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Raw Truth from Alan: The vast majority of men in society tend to put women who they are physically attracted to into TWO general categories: Those women who they genuinely want to get to know better, and those women who they just want sexual sex ual satisfaction from. If you are a woman, and you fall into the latter group, there is a good chance you are going to be lied to, misled, and manipulated by men.

Most women are ‘addicted’ to pleasant lies and flattery. It is much more palatable for a woman’s ears to hear, “You are so beautiful . . . the type of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with” rather than for that same man to say, “The only reason I am conversing with you right now is because I want to exchange orgasms with you.”

This is why you have so many smooth-talking, disingenuous lying womanizers (i.e., what women often refer to as “dogs”). I do not condone what ‘dogs’ do, but I understand it. Totally.

Return to my nightclub example. In an ideal world, all single men could approach women, and express any and all of their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to single women … and those women would have one of two general responses:

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“I have to tell you [insert your name here, if you are a man reading this] … your bold honesty is so refreshing! I share many of the same desires and interests as you! Let’s get together!!”

or . . . “[insert your name here, if you are a man reading this] … I have to tell you … your bold honesty is so refreshing! Even though I find myself unable to reciprocate your desires and interests at this time, I really appreciate you being so forthcoming with me. More men need to be as as honest as you!” you!”

Again, I said the responses above would more-than-likely happen in an “ideal world.” Here would be an example of a more realistic response to a man’s request for casual sex: “Do I look like a whore to you? Huh? Do I have S-L-U-T spelled out on my forehead?? You are such a JERK!! An ASSHOLE!! What makes you think I would just meet you, talk to you for a few minutes, and turn around and have [casual] sex with you JUST LIKE THAT?!? The NERVE!!! Men are such PIGS!!!!”

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Many women would applaud this response. “You told him Girl!” would be the show of support from girlfriends. girlfriends. What these women do not consciously realize is, with a response such as this, you have just invited men … and motivated men … to lie to women, mislead women and play ‘head games’ with women from this point forward.

“Fluff Talk” Alan: Listen up men. Every woman who wears modest clothing, is well spoken, and carries herself in a ‘classy’ manner is a monogamous-minded, sexually conservative ‘good girl.’ You know … “wife “wife material.” Only those women who wear excessive make-up and adorn themselves in sexually provocative clothing are kinky and promiscuous. All women are either “good girls” or “kinky freaks” Men, wake up. Do you think every woman who who enjoys kinky sex is going to wear a sign around her neck announcing her erotically uninhibited tendencies? Do you you truly believe that women who indulge in various episodes of no-strings-attached casual sex (including group sex, swingers’ parties, etc) are simply going to tell you this in an upfront, straightforward manner?

In the same way men want to maintain a certain level of respect from their male peers regarding their sense of masculinity, women want to maintain a certain level of respect from their female peers regarding their sense of virtue and “innocence.” In other words, no man wants to be called a “punk,” a “wimp” and/or a coward, and no woman wants to be called a “slut,” an “easy lay” and/or a whore.

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If you read Mode One One and Upfront and Straightforward already, then you already know that I refer to sexually duplicitous women as Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic the same way you have many men who will Hypocrites Hypocrites. In the pretend as though they have a genuine interest in long-term, monogamous relationships … when they really only have an interest in short-term, non-monogamous sex … you have women who are pretty much the same way.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander. And many men and women wonder why there is so much distrust, bitterness and resentment between the two genders. Too many manipulative head games.

Raw Truth from Alan: Women enjoy sex just as much, if not more, than the average man does. Women just do a better job “hiding” their horniness. Women do not shy away from casual sex because they don’t like sex. Women shy away from casual sex because they don’t want irregular, erratic erratic sexual satisfaction. Women want regular, dependable sexual satisfaction. Also, casual casual sex leads to more unflattering subjective labels (e.g., “slut”) being attached to their name than it does for men. Both genders want SOMETHING from each other. other. As I One, don’t ever fool yourself into believing mentioned in Mode in Mode One, that you “don’t want anything” from the opposite sex. You always want something . Acknowledging this is the first first step to improving your interpersonal communication skills with men and/or women.

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There are some things we want that we have no problem asking for in an upfront, straightforward straightforward manner. Then there are other things … tangible and intangible … that we are afraid to ask for upfront.

Examples of things that men want from women and are usually not afraid to ask for: • platonic friendship • a lunch or dinner date • an entertaining conversation

Examples of things that men want from women, but usually do not have the guts to ask for: • romantic companionship • non-monogamous sexual companionship • short term sex (e.g., one-night stand, weekend fling)

Examples of things that women want from men and are usually not afraid to ask for: • platonic friendship • an entertaining conversation • a dependable listening ear or social hangout buddy

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Examples of things that women want from men, but usually do not have the guts to ask for: • romantic companionship • non-monogamous sexual companionship • short term sex (e.g., one-night stand, weekend fling) • financial gifts and favors • flattering attention • the sperm of a man to get pregnant

The #1 reason why you have what is known as “game playing” between the sexes is primarily because of those things we want from each other, but are dreadfully afraid to come straight out and ask for.

How do you identify when a man or woman wants something from you, but is afraid afraid to ask for it? How do you you quickly ascertain if a man or woman is ‘pretending’ to have one set of desires, interests and intentions when they actually have a totally different set of desires, desires, interests and intentions? That is what this book is all about.

Again, a few questions before we move on to the next chapter and get deeper into the mindset of a male and female manipulator.

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1) Men: What is something you you want from women that you have generally been afraid to ask for in an upfront, straightforward manner? manner? Why do you think that is?

2) Women: What is something you you want from men that you have generally been afraid to ask for in an upfront, straightforward manner? manner? Why do you think that is?

3) Men: Hypothetically, if all women gave you a ‘green light’ to express any and all of your sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in an upfront, straightforwardly honest manner (without any obligation on their part to reciprocate your desires and interests), would you still feel tempted to lie to women and/or mislead women?

4) Women: What bothers you about a man being upfront and straightforward with you about his desire for a onenight stand, weekend fling or other variation of casual, short-term non-monogamous sex? Would you you rather a man ‘pretend’ to be interested in a long-term, monogamous relationship if it means preventing you from feeling “promiscuous?”

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Chapter Three Semantics What is semantics? Semantics is the study of the meaning behind words and in language. Ever since I wrote Mode wrote Mode One, One , the issue of semantics has been brought up during many of my book signing events and workshop discussions.

For example, if I told a woman, “I want to exchange orgasms with you,” and she was to say, “I would prefer that you said, ‘I want to make love to you,’ ” then this would be an example of semantics in effect. Saying “I want to exchange orgasms with with you” and saying “I want to make love to you” is saying essentially the exact same thing.

I know women who hate the word “blowjob” and/or the phrase “sucking dick,” but these same women love performing oral sex on a guy (these women would rather use terms like “performing fellatio” or “providing a man with oral pleasure”).

Many women women are big on semantics. The vast majority of women I know cannot stand words, phrases or jargon that they perceive as too harsh, crass, rude, offensive, insulting, socially inappropriate and/or lewd.

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90% of the time, I could care less about semantics. I only care care about what desire, interest or intention I am expressing. For me, saying “I want to make love to you” and “I want to fuck you” to a woman carries carries the same intention: I want to have sex with that woman. You could argue that that the term “making love” has more romantic connotations to it than “fucking,” but that is all subjective.

One of the most frequent questions that I receive from male readers of Mode One is, “Alan, when should I use X-rated or XXX-rated XXX-rated language when I approach approach a woman? When should I use R-rated language? PG-13 language? PG-rated language?”

Again, for me, the intention you are expressing to a woman is the most important thing. Why are you attracted attracted to this woman (e.g., Her looks? Her sex appeal? Her intelligence? What?) Why do you want to share her company (e.g., A platonic interaction? A business relationship? A short-term, casual sex relationship? A long-term, long-term, romantic relationship?)

There is a specific reason why I many times do express my sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in an R-rated, X-rated and/or XXX-rated manner, particular when my interest has been casual sex: I want to see her reaction.

Some men might find this surprising, but here has been my experience: The women who generally behave as though they are the most “offended” by X-rated talk are usually the same

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women who are the most most eager to engage in [casual] [casual] sex. In my past, I would estimate that four out of every five women who initially had an adverse reaction to my sexually provocative language were the same women who at some point later on ended up having sex with me.

Women who are genuinely not interested in dating you and/or having sex with you generally do not care about semantics or language. Women who have no desire desire to spend time with with you could care less whether you express yourself in a PG-rated, Rrated, X-rated or XXX-rated manner. They just know that they are not attracted to you ph ysically, romantically and/or sexually.

The women who respond the most theatrically to what they perceive as unappealing semantics are usually those women who are, to one degree or another, manipulative and duplicitous. Similarly, the vast majority of men who would like to fancy themselves as being “socially appropriate gentlemen” are usually some of the most manipulative womanizers in society.

“Raw” language is typically a sign that you are dealing with a truth teller.

Something to Pay Attention To: When a man or woman is manipulative, they tend to be very, very careful about the words they use and the manner in which they phrase things; Manipulators always like to be perceived as saying the “right thing at the right time in the right way.”

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Straightshooter types do not place the same degree of emphasis on “socially appropriate” language and vernacular. Their main main emphasis is to convey their real desires, genuine interests and true intentions to others.

Is it “disrespectful” to use sexually straightforward and erotically provocative language with women in your first conversation with them? Depends on how you define ‘disrespecting’ a woman.

In my mind, lying to women about your true desires, interests and intentions is disrespectful. Misleading women into believing that you want a long-term, romantic, monogamous relationship with them when you actually just want a few days or a few weeks of casual sex is disrespectful.

What a man’s intentions are is far more important than what specific words and phrases he uses to communicate his desires, interests and intentions. We live in a society that puts such a premium on presenting ourselves as ‘well-mannered’ that we lean towards sacrificing genuine honesty and authenticity in favor of pleasant lies and disingenuous behavior.

Don’t get me wrong. If a man can communicate his desires, interests and intentions without using raw, harsh profanity … he is the better for for it. So I am not encouraging encouraging all men to exhibit “potty mouth” behavior at all. If the choice though is profane truth versus well-mannered insincerity and phoniness, I’m choosing profane truth.

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A few questions before we move on to the next chapter:

1) Men: Were you you raised to speak to women in a ‘gentlemanly’ manner? Has this habit benefitted you? you? Or caused you some degree of o f frustration?

2) Women: Have you ever had a man speak to you you in an X-rated manner, and you gave him the impression that he was ‘offending you,’ but deep-down, his provocative language turned you on? If so, why were were you initially afraid to admit that?

3) Men: Have you ever said things to women that you knew were insincere, dishonest or misleading, but the words, phrases and language you used was so pleasant and smooth, that the women you were conversing with had no idea that you were being full of crap?

4) Women: What is more important to you you … good manners? Or straightforward honesty?

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Chapter Four I Want to Have Casual Sex . . . But I’m Afraid to Let You Know As I alluded to in Chapter Three, very few men and women are afraid to let each other know about their interest in a platonic friendship.

There are a number of men and women who are afraid to let their interests in a long-term, monogamous relationship be known from the get-go because of fear of rejection, but there are probably an equal number of men and women who have no problem being open and honest about their romantic interests.

Without question, I believe the most intimidating proposition for both men and women is that of expressing the desire for casual, non-monogamous sex. At least half of the reason why you have men and women lying to each other, playing games with each other and cheating on one another is because of the desire for casual sex and/or sex with multiple partners.

In a nutshell, I think both genders gravitate towards four groups from the opposite sex who they want to spend time with on a regular, semi-regular or occasional basis:

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• Those men or women who you want to spend time with in an attempt to enhance your career, your finances, or some other business/professional related goal or objective;

• Those men or women who you want to spend time with in order to share entertaining stories with, experience some general social enjoyment with, and gain insight and wisdom on solving some of your problems and challenges;

• Those men or women who you want to spend time with because you have a high degree of physical and sexual chemistry with, you enjoy their conversation and share some common interests with them, and their presence causes an ‘emotional high’ for you;

• Those men or women who, on many levels, you find yourself not-so-compatible with, but they possess an animal magnetism that draws you to them, and your lust for them and desire to have sex with them is hard to resist;

Men and women in the first group come and go (i.e., business contacts, professional associates, those worthy of networking with, etc) … no real drama or challenges there.

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Men and women in the second group are your platonic friends who you might interact with for a few weeks, a few months, a few years or for a lifetime.

Men and women in the third group, of course, are those who you tend to develop a genuine emotional attachment with and subsequently, you tend to have a strong desire to maintain a long-term relationship with and even eventually marry.

Now we get to that tricky fourth and final group. With men and women in this group, we know this person is not really “right for us” for long-term purposes. These men and women would more-than-likely never make a great boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. But damn, if we we don’t want to just lay down in bed with them them and have a great time. time. Engage in raw, unadulterated, animalistic sex.

For many of us, either our morals, principles, convictions or sense of commitment to our chosen romantic companion overrides any feelings of lust and temptation to act on our lascivious desires towards members from the fourth group. For others, we just have to get a ‘taste’ of what momentary sexual euphoria they may be able to provide for us. We say to ourselves, “What is one night? One weekend? One brief brief affair affair or fling?” In a nutshell, some of us want to ‘have our cake and eat it too’ (or as I like to put, we want to have peach cobbler in our stomach and on the kitchen counter at the same time).

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Because we live in what is generally considered a JudeoChristian society, premarital sex and sex with multiple partners tends to be frowned frowned upon. Only sex within the context of marriage, or at least, a long-term committed relationship, is condoned by the masses.

The desire to resist casual sex and/or premarital sex places women in a very challenging position. A ‘catch-22’ ‘catch-22’ scenario tends to present itself. itself. Think of Natalie Wood’s character of Deanie Loomis in Splendor in the Grass (1961). In this movie, Deanie was in love with Bud (Warren Beatty, one of my top Entertainment Industry idols), but she was raised to be ‘the good girl.’

Bud loves Deanie, but like any hormone-raging teenage boy, he wants to have sex. Deanie won’t give him any sex, so Bud ultimately hooks up with the girl in school who is known for being somewhat of an ‘easy lay.’ Deanie is so traumatized by Bud having sex with someone else that she becomes emotionally unstable and ends up in a mental institution.

As men, we need to empathize more with this “damned if you do, damned if you you don’t” situation for many women. If these women ‘hold out’ until marriage, many of them are perceived as ‘prudes’ and sometimes, they end up losing out on the “Buds” in their life; life; On the flip side, if they give up the sex sex to every man who they have feelings for, they end up being branded a ‘slut,’ a ‘ho’ or a kinky freak.

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Men are not held to this same societal standard, so we are not judged in the same manner. Men are almost given free rein to ‘sow our wild oats’ and then later, settle down and get married.

One way to possibly counteract all of the lies and misleading head games that usually accompany one’s desire for sex with multiple partners (if you are not a monogamous-minded person) is to engage in what is commonly known as polyamorous polyamorous dating dating which includes concepts such as swinging, coupleswapping, ‘open’ relationships and marriages, and similar variations of multiple partner sex.

With these polyamorous scenarios, a man and/or woman essentially gets to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’ You can have both a steady partner who you may (or may not) have some degree of emotional attachment to, and on the other hand, you have the freedom to pursue other sexual partners to satisfy your momentary lustful desires.

We all know that many men and women would simply not be down for this polyamorous polyamorous stuff. stuff. Let’s be real. Some men are so egotistical, insecure, jealous and possessive that they would never condone their female partner openly having other sex partners. Even many women would not stand for such a scenario.

These jealous, insecure types would much rather cheat and commit adultery than to open the door for multiple sex partners to be mutually accepted and encouraged within the relationship.

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A word of caution though: A promiscuous mindset not only has potential personal repercussions, but it can also have societal repercussions. The traditional family structure structure has taken a hit because of all of this out-of-control promiscuity and adultery. Many men do not find marriage as appealing as men from previous generations. Many women are now content with simply having a ‘sperm donor’ and having a ‘baby daddy’ in their life instead of a loyal husband.

Young men are growing up in fatherless households with no real role role model for manhood. Young women are growing up thinking that the primary way to get attention from men and attract financial favors and employment offers is to dress provocatively and trade sexual companionship for tangible and intangible wants and needs.

Orgasms are the preeminent ‘drug addiction.’ Once a young man or young woman experiences a powerful, pleasurable orgasm, they are hooked for life.

For most men who are supposed to be in committed relationships, once we see a cute face, a nice set of breasts, and a round, plump derriere, our conscious or subconscious mind screams out “potential orgasm!” Even when our intelligent, rational mind says, “Well, I probably should resist,” our instincts and hormones yell out, “I have to have her!”

Many women women are the same way. Testosterone is a very powerful aphrodisiac aph rodisiac for even the most conservative, erotically

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self-disciplined woman. Only the fear of getting getting pregnant, the fear of STDs and/or the fear of having the Scarlet Letter of promiscuity and adultery can conceivably stop a woman from being impulsive and acting on her lustful desires.

As I always say, only engage in casual sex and premarital sex if you are mature enough and responsible enough to handle all of the potential consequences and repercussions that come along with your pursuit of carnal pleasures.

Now, as usual, some more questions to ponder before we move to the next chapter.

1) Men: Write down all of the qualities, characteristics and attributes in a woman that makes you want to be a) platonic friends with her; b) her boyfriend or potential husband; or c) her casual sex buddy or ‘friend with benefits.’ What are the similarities? The differences?

2) Women: Do you you sometimes sometimes get get frustrated frustrated over the double standard that society has towards men and women’s sexuality? Do you you think women should be given the opportunity to ‘sow their wild oats’ without being judged or have labels attached to their name?

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3) Men and Women: What are your your thoughts on the idea of polyamorous polyamorous dating? dating? Would you you be okay with a steady partner of yours being free to have sex with multiple partners? Or would you rather your companion ‘hide’ their momentary or temporary trysts from you?

4) Men and Women: What affect do you think casual sex, premarital promiscuity and frequent adultery has on the family structure structure in society? Do you think a son and/or a daughter needs to to be raised by both parents? parents? Or is one parent sufficient? Would you lose respect for your mother and/or father if you knew they were into swinging or couple swapping?

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Chapter Five Ultimately, We All Just Want to Have Things Go Our Way Let’s admit it: We are all spoiled and selfish to to some degree. From the time we are born, we want to eat hamburgers, cookies or ice cream when we are hungry, drink juice or milk when we are thirsty, be the center of attention among family and friends, and play with our toys or watch television when we see fit.

The difference between being children and being adults, is that somewhere in our upbringing (hopefully), we are told that we will not always always be able to have things go our way. I once read read where the difference between a sane, rational person and a psychotic, “crazy” person is that the latter literally believes that he or she should always be able to get what they want without obstacle or challenge.

When a man or woman wants romantic and/or sexual attention, and our desires and interests are rejected, many times we cannot handle this. Again, we want things to go our way. Rejection stings. Rejection bruises our egos and hurts hurts our feelings. Some men and women can get over their feelings of being rejected fairly easy while others cannot.

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Why do people in business compromise their ethical standards and even commit illegal acts? Ultimately, because they want everything to go their way. The same thing happens in malemalefemale relationships. relationships. When many of us know deep-down that we cannot handle rejection, we turn to various forms of deceit and manipulation to turn things in our favor.

Many single men who are familiar with my books are also familiar with what is commonly known as the Attraction and Community . Seduction Community, or simply, The Seduction Community. The Seduction Community is full of self-proclaimed ladies’ men, womanizers and pickup artists who fancy themselves “gurus” of teaching philosophies, principles and techniques that lead to men getting laid, and usually, fairly quickly.

For the vast majority of these ‘gurus,’ their central concept is the idea of preventing and avoiding a) harsh criticisms from women, b) adverse/negative reactions from women, and most importantly, c) rejection. If you read most of the materials sold by a Seduction Community ‘expert,’ you will be able to see that just about everything they teach is geared towards this objective.

Here is the problem with with this philosophy: philosophy: No man is humanly capable of attracting and/or seducing “any” and “every” woman they meet. That feat feat is virtually virtually impossible. Even for for George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Boris Boris Kodjoe. It simply will will not happen.

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Alan using Seduction Community “Magic Pill” Talk: Guys, trust me on this: If you listen to my every word and adhere to my every principle, you will be able to seduce even the most stubborn woman in the world in LESS THAN AN HOUR!! I GUARANTEE IT!! Here is my guarantee: If after after reading my book, you cannot receive receive a blowjob from a prom queen, cheerleader, single schoolteacher, or sorority girl in sixty minutes or less after making her acquaintance, I will refund all of the money you paid me PLUS add on an extra fifty bucks!! Here is how you can seduce ANY WOMAN you talk to: 1) Find a woman who perceives you as sexually irresistible or who has a history of being a chronic nymphomaniac; 2) Flatter that woman to the highest degree, and make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth; 3) Invite that woman to consume straight shots of vodka, tequila, petron or any other hard liquor; 4) Tell that woman that you are due to inherit two million dollars or more in the next thirty days; If this four-step method does not work, then you will have to buy “Magic Pill Seduction, PART II!!!”

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Here is the business savvy of the average “guru”:

1) Make guys believe in the “magic pill” principle; 2) Make guys actually believe that if they follow your principles and techniques to the letter, they will be able to attract and seduce any and every woman they meet (even though you know as a guru that this concept is bullshit) 3) If guys fail with women after reading your materials, just sell them ANOTHER BOOK, CD or DVD!!! Make them feel like THEY did “something wrong,” but with your new materials, they can’t possibly go wrong. 4) Repeat this process (#3) at least once or o r twice per year 5) If a few guys actually do luck up and begin to attract a few more women than they did before, have them submit testimonials on your behalf, and even include them in some promotional marketing materials.

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Raw Truth from Alan: Any man can make a few adjustments in their behavior as well as eliminate some invalid beliefs and harmful attitudes that will result in some degree of improvement in their success with women. Always be wary though of hyped up “magic pill” philosophies, principles and techniques that ‘guarantee you’ that you will be able to attract and seduce nine out of every ten women you meet. All men are going to experience rejection from some percentage of women that they are a re attracted to. It is just a fact. The issue is not whether or not you get rejected, but how you allow that rejection to affect your confidence and psyche towards approaching new women in the future.

Going back to my conversation about semantics, some men believe that if you use language that makes a woman feel “comfortable” in your presence, that you improve your chances of dating this woman and/or seducing this woman.

Women can feel comfortable around a man who is gay. Does that mean they want to date this man or have sex with them? Women can feel feel comfortable around a 12-year old boy. Does that mean they want want to jump his bones? (Well, with with all of the teacher-student sex scandals, it makes you wonder, huh?)

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I always say, making women feel ‘comfortable’ is a tad bit overrated. Some men go so far out of the way to show women respect that they end up allowing women to disrespect them.

If there is one thing that is just as bad as disrespecting women, it is allowing women to disrespect you. I call this “over“overrespecting” women. When you allow a woman to treat you like a flat-out chump, you are over-respecting a woman.

Specific examples of over-respecting a woman:

• You call a woman. She doesn’t return your call in a timely manner but yet you proceed to call her two, three, or four or more times without a return call.

• A woman flirts with another guy in your face at a bar, but yet, she looks for you to pay for her drink(s); You frown at her flirtatiousness, but pay for the drink(s) anyway.

• A woman asks you for a financial favor or two, but yet, she never agrees to hook up with you socially; socially; You do the favor(s) for her anyway.

• You spend hours and hours and days and days listening to this woman vent about her frustrations with other men, only for you to later find out that this woman is having sex with the ‘jerk’ she is complaining about; You complain about her behavior, but continue to be her ‘platonic boyfriend’ anyway.

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Even when you are very, very attracted to a woman (or, if you are a woman reading this, very attracted to a man), you have to be hardline towards undesirable and/or disrespectful behavior. You cannot allow yourself to be taken for granted or become someone else’s doormat.

Learn to attach consequences and repercussions to behavior that is undesirable undesirable or disrespectful. disrespectful. This is the only way a man or woman will learn to respect you.

The worst thing you can do as a man or woman is to constantly complain about and criticize a man or woman’s behavior, but still make yourself readily available to them. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. IT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK WEAK. LIKE YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE.

Catch someone in a lie once, forgive forgive them. Catch them in a lie two or more times, times, leave them alone. Someone misled you once, forgive forgive them. Someone misleads misleads you you two or more times, walk away. You cannot reward ‘bad ‘bad behavior.’ This is a major cardinal sin.

Remember: Everyone interacts interacts with you you because they want something. Identify what that is, and deny them of it indefinitely when you are lied to, mislead or treated in an undesirable or disrespectful manner. Your attention and companionship is way too valuable to be taken for granted.

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Manipulation is always always a two-way street. The only way you you can really be manipulated by someone else repeatedly is if you are in some way, shape or form trying to be manipulative yourself. If you’re not being manipulative, at minimum, your behavior is way too lenient.

Do not put so much emphasis on flattery, entertaining conversation, favors and making members of the opposite sex feel ‘comfortable’ ‘comfortable’ in your presence. All of this is highly overrated. There is a difference between talking and communicating. Remember that.

Manipulative people are simply spoiled men and women who want to get their way at any cost. If they cannot get what they want by directly asking for it, then they try to get what they want through “indirect” means. Many times, unethical means that violate the trust and personal boundaries of ot her people.

Before we move on to Chapter Six, a few questions to contribute to your process of “self-examination.”

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1) Men and Women: Have you ever had an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-lover or even a platonic friend of yours categorize you as either “spoiled” and/or “selfish?” Did you agree or disagree with their assessment??

2) Men: Have you purchased one or more more books, CDs and/or DVDs from a Seduction Community “Guru?” Did this Guru’s philosophies, principles and techniques deliver as ‘promised’ or ‘guaranteed?’ If not, do you feel that YOU did anything wrong? Were you encouraged to buy a second book, CD or DVD??

3) Men and Women: Have you been sometimes guilty of “over-respecting” someone (i.e., showing others respect while allowing them to disrespect you, or take you for granted)? Why do you think you allowed such undesirable behavior?

4) Men and Women: Do you have a hard time time not getting your way? Is rejection something that is exceptionally hard for you to swallow? Do you sometimes think about exhibiting “unethical” or inappropriate behavior in order to get what you want from people?

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Chapter Six For the Women: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Man Men.

Men are very simple in their desires, but yet, they can be perceived as both complex and frustrating about the manner in which they go about pursuing their desires. d esires.

Men want respect. Men want power. Men want wealth. Men want love. Men want sex. Men want want chicken wings and Peach Snapple. (Okay, okay … that is just Alan Roger Currie who wants wangs and Peach Snapple)

There are a lot of men in society who are very egotistical. They want to be the “King of the Hill.” This is one of the reasons why you have highly competitive men engaging in athletic activities as well as being very competitive in business, such as Wall Street executives.

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When you mix a very healthy ego with a certain degree of greed and an inability to accept failure or rejection, a manipulative man is born.

The good thing about the vast majority of men (as it relates to dating and relationships) is that they only really lie to women, mislead women and manipulate women primarily for one reason, and one reason only: Sex. Specifically, sex with multiple partners.

Men will pretend to be “in love” in order to have casual sex with a woman who they are really lusting after. Men will pretend to be platonic friends with a woman indefinitely inde finitely hoping that one day, they will have their opportunity for a sexual advance.

A man’s primary tools of manipulation are smooth talk and/or flattery, money and employment offers/opportunities, and of course, “believable” lies.

When it comes to womanizers, there are generally two types: Lying womanizers, otherwise known as “dogs,” cheaters or adulterers; And womanizers who are upfront and straightforward about their desire for multiple sex partners, otherwise known as “players” or even “pimps.”

The latter type are worthy of respect. A true player will never lie to you, mislead you or manipulate you in order to get you in bed. He will simply tell you what his sexual desires, interests 46


and intentions are, and you will be either down with his program or you will not be. Same with a pimp-type.

The lying womanizer will always employ a pretense of monogamy, but in reality, he is anything but monogamousminded. This man wants as much sex from women as he has time in his schedule to attend to.

Women always ask the question, “Why do men cheat?” That is sort of along the lines of, “Why does a dog lick his balls?” (because he can). That question will never really give you a long-lasting, satisfying answer that will help you solve your problems with unfaithful men.

The better question is, “What makes a man remain monogamous to one woman?” I know men who have no interest in exchanging orgasms with with multiple women. Their love is deep for just one good woman in their life.

Here are a few reasons why some men choose to remain faithful to one woman:

• The man has already “sowed his wild oats” and the wild, promiscuous phase of his life is behind him;

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• The man has very deep, religious and/or spiritual convictions, and he feels that being promiscuous and/or adulterous is a blatant violation of his religious and spiritual principles and doctrine;

• The man profoundly feels as though what he has to potentially lose (e.g., the love of his wife and children) is far greater than the rewards of having a short-term or long-term sexual affair with another woman;

• The man is afraid that the woman he might cheat with could turn out to be a psychotic stalker type or infect him with some sort of sexually transmitted disease;

I could probably think of another four or five psychological factors that cause men to want to remain monogamous with one woman, but the issue at hand is manipulative men and more specifically, lying womanizers.

Here is the most powerful question you can ever ask a man as early as five minutes into your first conversation with a man:

“What is the REAL reason why you are talking to me right now and and what are your long-term long-term interests interests in sharing my company?” company?”

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I shared this question with some of my closest female friends and acquaintances, and just about all of them were amazed at the various responses they received from men.

Many men actually get flustered and tongue-tied when asked this question by a woman. This a clear-cut sign that you are conversing with a man with manipulative tendencies. You see, manipulative men do not like to be specific, upfront or straightforward with their desires, interests and intentions.

Manipulative men much prefer to remain ambiguous and vague in regard to their romantic and/or sexual desires and interests. Do you want to ask a man an even more provocative question?? (Now this one takes guts!)

“Is the real reason you are engaging me in this entertaining small talk because sometime in the near future, you are hoping to have me naked in your bed??” bed??”

Watch that man’s face!! If he’s Caucasian, he might turn beet red. What is a [manipulative] man going to say?

**If he says “yes, that is exactly correct!” then he shows his hand too early, and he runs the risk of an abrupt rejection. Therefore, the average manipulator / lying womanizer will be reluctant to give you a straightforward “yes” response;

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**If he says, “no, that’s not the reason I’m having this conversation!”, then he knows deep-down that he would be lying. The average manipulator / lying womanizer would not want to risk you saying, “Well, that’s too bad. If you would have just been straightforward about your desire to have sex with me, I might have been in your bed as early as tonight!”

See how both questions cut through the game-playing and bullshit?

Why lying womanizers want a girlfriend, steady companion or wife: Men who are lying womanizer types want dependable, steady sexual companionship from from one woman. They also want access to other women who are going to provide them with exciting, but temporary sexual companionship.

A lot of men who are adulterers, cheaters and lying womanizer types want at least one woman in their life who they perceive as “the good girl” type. type. The woman who looks good on their arm, presents themselves in a conservative and classy manner, and is intelligent, articulate and even spiritual.

Then, on the other hand, they want at least one other woman who they can treat like a complete kinky slut. The kind of woman they can talk super ‘nasty’ to, be b e totally freaky with, and not worry about any sort of ‘emotional bond’ with.

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If you watched Chris Rock’s feature-film, I Think I Love My Wife, Wife, you will remember the entertaining scene where Rock’s character weighs the pros and cons of being married versus the advantages and disadvantages of remaining single. He basically concludes that there are drawbacks to both, but at least with marriage, you have steady female companionship.

Manipulative men do not want to to choose. They want the benefits of both the committed relationship and the single life. Again, they want to have their cake and eat it too.

As a woman, the key thing to remember is that for a man to be highly promiscuous, he has to find the time to do so. How does your new male friend, boyfriend or husband utilize his free time? Does he hang out socially socially at night a lot? If you you two live live together, does he frequently come home late? Does he seem to always be gone, particularly during the evenings and weekends?

Repeatedly ask these men why do they love sharing your company? Encourage them to profess how attracted they are to you on social networking sites such as Facebook (trust (trust me, no lying womanizer type wants to be on Facebook!).

Make sure men take you out in public (lying womanizers hate to be seen too much in public).

What about “Weasels?” (i.e., those men who pretend to be your platonic friend, but really are trying to have sex with you)

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Questions, questions, questions. “Why do you enjoy being [platonic] friends with me?” “Are you sure you are not just trying to weasel your way into my pants?” Trust me … simple questions like these are very effective.

Remember: When you ask a good question of a man with manipulative tendencies, he is going to always attempt to be vague and ambiguous in his responses. responses. Manipulators do not like to be upfront and straightforward.

Never make a man feel “obligated” to commit to you. This will always backfire backfire in the long-run. Never ask a man to make drastic changes in his behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing you or accommodating you; He will resent you for it later on.

Recognize that there are no “free lunches.” If a man man you just met offers to do financial favors for you, he is looking for sexual companionship as a form of gratitude. Always, always, always invite a man to be straightforwardly honest with you about everything. Never “punish” or penalize honesty.

1) Have you ever dated a man who you knew had a reputation for for being an incorrigible incorrigible womanizer? What attracted you to this type of man? What made you think he was going to change his ways for you?

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2) Do you ever ask men straightforwardly what it is they want from you? If no, why not?

3) Do you know how your current companion spends his free time?

4) What makes you think that all of your platonic male friends are genuine? Have you ever asked them straightforwardly, “Are you interested in having sex with me at any point in the near future?” If no, why not?

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Chapter Seven For the Men: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Woman Women.

On the surface, women seem to be more complex and harder to figure out than the average man is. In reality, women’s desires and needs are very close to those of a man. Many women love money, power, sex, respect and popularity / fame just as much as many men do.

Here are some distinct differences between the average woman and the average man:

• Women, generally speaking, tend to be more nurturing and empathetic towards the feelings of others than most men are;

• Women, generally speaking, are much less prone to exhibit violent and/or physically aggressive behavior than the average man is;

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• Women, if they are reasonably attractive, tend to have men constantly hitting on them for for sex. sex. Much more than the average [handsome] man does;

• Women, generally speaking, put a wee bit more emphasis on long-term, monogamous relationships than the average man does, particularly between the ages of 30 and 49. This is when a woman’s “biological clock” is in full effect;

Because of many men’s penchant for skirt chasing, many women’s behavior goes in one of two directions:

1) They either become very leery of men, maintaining the belief that their underlying und erlying motive will always alwa ys be to get in their pants, have sex with them for a few days, weeks or months, and then dump them so that they can move on to the next sexual conquest; … or … 2) If they are savvy and manipulative, they learn how to use men’s lack of sexual straightforwardness against them; They end up using men for financial favors, employment favors, flattery, entertaining conversation, and just about anything else that they desire from men.

Let’s tackle issue #1 first.

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Blunt truth? Most men are full of shit when it comes to their desire for sex, and particularly, their desire for short-term, nonmonogamous sex. Men all too frequently frequently spend spend too much time time attempting to come up with new and different ways to ‘fool women’ into believing that they don’t want sex … when in actuality, that is all they want.

I have for years considered this the dumbest routine by men. Try to get sex by pretending that you are not trying to get sex. How stupid is that?? On paper, you say, “Very stupid.” Yet, five out of every seven single men (high end estimate) I have met did just that.

I discussed the issue of subjective labels earlier, and more specifically, about men referring to some women as “bitches.” Some men will approach a woman in a nightclub or bar / restaurant, offer her a free drink, engage her in some entertaining ‘small talk,’ only to have that woman abruptly reject any further advances.

A man’s common reaction will be, “She is such a bitch!” bitch!” No, she is not. This is a woman who is sick and tired of men insulting her intelligence. Do you really think that this woman does not know deep-down that you are fantasizing about putting your penis in her mouth and/or vagina?

Wake up dude. C’mon son.

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Only a young, naïve, very inexperienced girl does not realize what the vast majority majority of men are after. In my lifetime, lifetime, I have witnessed so many men do everything possible to get a woman into their bed, but yet maintain the idea that they are trying to do anything BUT get that woman into their bed.

On to issue #2.

Some women, instead of getting an ‘attitude’ about men’s disingenuous behavior, go the opposite route and learn how to ‘play’ men. These women know men want sex. They know the majority of men do not want sex within the context of a loving, emotionally profound relationship. They realize that that many men just want a one-night stand, a weekend fling, or nine-and-a-half weeks of casual sex enjoyment.

What do they also know about the average man? They know that the vast majority of men don’t have the balls to express their true sexual desires, interests and intentions in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. Most men are verbal cowards when it comes to letting their true sexual desires and interests be known to women.

So these manipulative type women learn how to play the game, and they learn to to play it well. Let us look at a few common scenarios where manipulative women take advantage of men with no balls. You might recognize recognize yourself in a few of these scenarios.

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The Verbal Wimp VS The Common Co mmon Attention Whore Most women love attention. The more enthusiastic and flattering the attention, the better. I have rarely rarely met a woman who did not want to be constantly flattered and did not want to receive a nice boost to their ego.

So you, the verbal wimp, approach a woman and you immediately begin telling a woman how beautiful she is, how sexy she is, how wonderful she is … blah, blah, blah.

Do you really think that this woman does not realize that over half of the reason why you are taking time to flatter her ego is because you ultimately want to get in her pants? Puhleaze! Wake up dude. C’mon son.

Mode Three Timid: Doesn’t even approach this woman. Admires her from afar.

Mode Three Target: Approaches the woman, and immediately starts flattering her ego like crazy. Goes on to talk about how nice his house is, how much money he earns, how educated he is, blah, blah, blah. Offers to wine and dine the woman.

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Mode Four Misogynist: Takes the opposite route, and attempts to insult the woman. This guy figures, “this woman has a number of men flattering her, so I will be just the opposite. I will insult the bitch.”

Mode Two Nice Guy: Offers a good mix of flattery and humor. More-than-likely, has the woman laughing. Eventually gets around to mentioning that he is attracted to the woman for either long-term dating or shortterm sex. Is very careful with his words words though. though. He does not want to “turn the woman off.”

Mode One Straightshooter: A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior will blend his sincere compliments in with expressing a genuine desire to share this woman’s company. Either for long-term romance or enjoyable casual sex. Others: “I think you are very beautiful…” Mode One: “I would like you to share my company in the next week or two because I find you very beautiful…” Others: “I think you are extremely sexy…”

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Mode One: “I have to be honest … I am not looking for any sort of ‘serious’ relationship right now. If casual, no-strings attached sex is not your thing, I can respect that. It is my belief though that you and I have great sexual chemistry, and I would love to exchange orgasms with you for as long as our chemistry lasts…”

See the difference?

A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior is always about expressing what his interests are. He does not just flatter women for the sake of pleasing and satisfying their ego. Nor does he go Mode Four, and attempt to insult women or purposely try to get under their skin under the guise of presenting himself as a ‘challenge’ or ‘bad boy.’

The Verbal Wimp VS The Common Gold Digger Many men love to meet women at nightclubs. If nightclubs are your thing, more more power to you. you. In my experience, nightclubs in the United States are nothing more than a central headquarters for Attention Whores and Gold Diggers.

Can you blame these women? In nightclubs, all I do is observe men breaking their necks to flatter women, offer them free drinks, engage them in trivial, but entertaining conversations, and show off their jewelry, clothes and nice, expensive cars.

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If I were a woman who wanted an ego boost, free drinks and to identify men who can afford to purchase an expensive car, I would frequent a nightclub too!!

Do you really think that these women do not realize that over half of the reason why men patronize nightclubs is to try to score a really quick piece of ass? Puhleaze! Wake up dude. C’mon son.

Mode Three Timid: Goes to a nightclub and doesn’t even approach any women. Admires them from afar.

Mode Three Target: Approaches a few women, and immediately starts engaging them in trivial, trivial, but halfway entertaining fluff talk. Goes on to talk about how nice his house is, how much money he earns, how educated he is, blah, blah, blah. Offers to buy three or four four rounds of drinks for the women.

Mode Four Misogynist: Stands around most of the night calling women “bitches” and “hos.” The few women he talks to, he treats treats them like street prostitutes and low-grade strippers. Probably has a drink or two thrown in his face.

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Mode Two Nice Guy: Invites women to dance with him, and engages them in conversation that is interesting and entertaining to a degree. Initially, avoids expressing any romantic or sexual interest, but when he feels as though the conversation is coming to a close, he wraps it up by offering his phone number and/or asking for the woman’s phone number.

Mode One Straightshooter: A man who frequently exhibits Mode One Behavior would never allow himself to visit a nightclub too often. On those few occasions when he did, he would quickly scan the place looking for the two or three women he is attracted to the most, and within seconds of opening the conversation, let the women know what his true interests are.

Others: huh!…”

“This

club

is

really

hoppin’

tonight,

Mode One: “So … should we share each other’s company next weekend? Or the following weekend?” Others: “These drinks are really strong! You want to dance?”

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Mode One: “I find you very attractive and I think you and I need to have another conversation sometime soon where there is not so much noise. I suggest we get together next week at my place or your place. Your thoughts…”

See the difference?

A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior always wants to get to the point. He does not look to score score “quick.” More-often-thannot, that mindset backfires. I approach even casual sex with a mindset of confidence and patience. I say, make a woman become the “anxious” one instead of you being Mr. I-Can’tWait-to-Tear-Your-Clothes-Off.

Don’t offer women a number of free drinks. That is weak. Don’t show off your new car or jewelry. Again …. Weak. Demonstrate how big your balls are by being refreshingly honest and straightforward instead of offering women financial based incentives and rewards for sharing your company.

The Verbal Wimp VS The Wholesome Pretender The Wholesome Pretender and Erotic Hypocrite. I would argue that these are the primary women that make Mode One Behavior the most necessary and the most effective.

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In case you have yet to read Mode One, One, Mode One HARDCORE HARDCORE and/or Upfront and Straightforward , a is a woman who presents herself publicly Wholesome Pretender is as the proverbial innocent, wholesome “good girl,” but in reality, she is as erotically uninhibited as a sex-crazed nymphomaniac. An Erotic Hypocrite is similar to a Wholesome Pretender, but she is a bit more materialistic, upscale, and status-oriented.

These two women, more than any other manipulative types, know how to use your fear of being straightforward with your sexual desires against you. These women prey on men who are scared to show any signs of lust. lust. These women want want to have casual, kinky sex just as much as many men do, but they will never tell you that upfront. They will leave it to you to demonstrate your balls and disarm them. You have to break these women down .

LOOK INTO THEIR EYES You have to look a WP or EP directly in their eyes when you converse with them. Do not look down, to the side or up in the air. Look them directly in their eyes.

With every woman you you interact with, practice this. Look women directly in their eyes for at least five-to-ten seconds. Make them look away first.

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CALM YOUR VOICE Always make every effort to maintain a calm, ultra-relaxed voice. No high-pitched high-pitched inflections. No hesitancy hesitancy in your voice. Voice should be full of confidence confidence and self-assurance. Make sure your breath is fresh and not funky. funk y.

YOU MUST MAINTAIN THICK SKIN If subjective criticisms throw you for a loop, you need more work in the trenches. Absorb this motto: “Punches from a Mixed Martial Artist might injure my ribs and break my bones, but harsh, subjective criticisms can’t do jack to diminish my confidence.” (I was tired of ‘sticks and stones’)

Mode Three Timid: Doesn’t even approach a Wholesome Pretender and/or an Erotic Hypocrite. Admires them from afar.

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Mode Three Target: Would never be able to identify a WP or an an EH. Why? Too busy trying to “run game” on women and impress them. These are the men that EHs use and an d then later, dismiss them when they get bored. WPs are simply simply entertained by these clowns.

Mode Four Misogynist: Approaches all women as if they are skanks and whores. Well, at least he is not approaching them as if they are queens and princesses. But his approach comes off too bitter, misogynistic and crass.

Mode Two Nice Guy: This guy is way too “gentlemanly” and well-mannered to break down a WP and/or an EH. EH. These women want to be seduced … not flattered or entertained.

Mode One Straightshooter: A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior will always assume that a WP and an EH is just as sexually free-spirited and uninhibited as he is.

“Wait a minute … I thought being presumptuous was a ‘bad’ for a Mode One guy looking to break a thing??” Nope. Not for

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woman down. You have to assume that a woman wants you to seduce her just as bad as you want to seduce her.

How does a lawyer know when a witness is guilty? When they become flustered, begin to contradict themselves, and express stories and facts that are inconsistent with one another.

How does a Mode One guy know he’s dealing with a Wholesome Pretender and/or an Erotic Erotic Hypocrite? When they become flustered, begin to contradict themselves, and exhibit behavior that is very inconsistent with their words.

This is when you have to become a student of body language signals and verbal subtext (my very next eBook!). WPs and EHs give off certain body language cues that clue you in.

“But she is behaving as though my language is too provocative provocative and even even offensive offensive to her!”

Is she still talking to you? you? Enough said. WPs and EHs are always going to bust your balls (again, see Reese Witherspoon’s Christmases ). There are only two times you character in Four Christmases know for a fact that a woman is not interested: 1) if she abruptly ends the conversation with you (don’t get dejected … it happens) or 2) she straightforwardly tells you, “I am not attracted to you” or “I am not interested in sharing your company in a romantic and/or sexual manner”

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“But she called me a ‘jerk’ and an ‘asshole’! That can’t be good … right?” right?”

Wrong. When dealing with a WP and/or an EH, EH, harsh, subjective criticism is a good thing. Why? Because this means you have them egotistically frustrated. You see, these women are used to men being verbal cowards and trying to hide, deny or suppress their true sexual desires, interests and intentions.

Now, you come along with big balls, and this throws them for a loop. They want to know: Is this guy “pretending” to have balls? Or does he genuinely have big ass balls??

Show these women that you really have them.

“Should I be aggressive and try to kiss them or touch them??”

No. Every now and then, I will be “touchy, feely” with women, but that is only if they have given me blatant b ody language that I can get away with that.

Believe it or not, many times … it is more arousing to a woman for you not to touch her. her. It is a form of “teasing.”

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“I want to talk to this woman, but she is constantly around two or more of her girlfriends girlfriends .. what what now?”

Approach all of the women and ask their permission to “borrow” their their friend friend who you are focused on. More-thanlikely, they won’t mind. If one friend attempts to “block,” disarm her with with kindness and humor. Do not insult any of the woman’s friends.

Once you have the woman of your desire a few feet away from the group, let her know what you’re REALLY thinking.

“I went up to this woman and said, ‘Hey … Can we get together tonight and fuck?’ She cursed me out and walked away. I thought I was being Mode One … what went wrong?”

There is a difference between being bold, upfront and straightforwardly honest … and being just crass and inconsiderate.

“But I thought you said it was okay to use X-rated language with women?” It is. is. After you get a good feel for a woman’s emotional disposition, and you sense that a woman has similar interests to yourself. yourself. You have to do some degree degree of qualifying first. Do you even know if she is single? single?

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Incorrect:

Man: Hey beautiful beautiful … can we get together together tonight and and fuck? Woman: You are such a juvenile asshole. (walks away)

Correct:

Man (looks at hand for wedding ring; doesn’t see one; initiates conversation by first qualifying): You and I should share each other’s company in the next two-to-three weeks. Your thoughts. Woman: I don’t even even know you. you. Man: My point exactly. This why you and I should share each other’s company. So I can get a feel for who you are … and you can get get a feel for who who I am. Woman: Are you asking asking me out to lunch or dinner? interested in watching you eat. I am Man: Nope. I am not interested interested in building sexual chemistry with you. Our sexual chemistry could result in something long-term, or our chemistry could only lead to a week or two of enjoying each other’s company thoroughly. I’m willing to go as far as our chemistry leads us …

Woman: Is that all you you want from from me … just sex? sex?

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Man: Is this a trick trick question? question? Woman: You Unbelievable!

men

are

so

superficial

and

shallow!

Man: So … next Friday or the Friday after next? Woman: I bet you are one of those womanizer womanizer types who uses women for their bodies and then dumps them! Man: And I bet you are one of those women who love to give men a hard time … tease them … before finally giving in to them. I can’t wait to exchange exchange orgasms with you in a few weeks… Woman: A few weeks?!? weeks?!? Do you have that many women on your schedule schedule that you you can’t make make time for me me this weekend?? weekend??

This conversation is loosely based on an interaction I had with a woman a few years ago. The correct conversation was a bit longer than the incorrect conversation, but it ended up in the same place … talking about the idea of exchanging orgasms.

Lessons:

1) Don’t ever become defensive and/or apologetic if a woman accuses you of “only looking for sex.” That is a wimp-out move. I generally don’t even acknowledge a question like that.

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2) If this woman was not interested in sharing your company, why in the heck would she keep talking to you?!? Always keep that in mind. 3) If a woman starts asking you about how do you behave towards other women, ignore that. Just concentrate on getting together with her. 4) Never act desperate or overanxious to get a woman in bed too quickly. Again, let her become the “anxious” one.

Want advice on a more specific specific scenario? Write me at at [email protected] and you will earn a free thirtyminute phone consultation or up to ten (10) Email consultations with Yours Truly by virtue of the purchase of this book! Once you get the hang of the Mode One mindset, you will never want to return to a Mode Two and/or Mode Three mindset. Those two behaviors will begin to make you cringe. Quiz Questions: 1) What is the difference between Pretender” and an “Erotic Hypocrite?

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a

“Wholesome


2) If a woman is not interested in you, but is pretending to be, more-than-likely, she wants you to a) flatter her h er ego; b) give her a materialistic gift and/or perform some financial favor for her; c) offer her a job; d) listen to her vent about her problems and frustrations with other men; e) make her laugh and entertain her; f) one or more of the above

3) If a woman is interested in you, but is pretending not to be, more-than-likely, she wants to a) make sure that you have the balls and confidence to hold her interest; b) prove to you that she is not ‘easy’ and is somewhat of a ‘challenge’; c) see how much effort you are going to put forth to secure her romantic and/or sexual companionship; d) determine if you have a bevy of other beautiful women in your stable; e) lightheartedly give you a hard time; f) one or more of the above

4) Which is most important when conversing with a woman? a) direct eye contact; b) a calm, cool, relaxed voice tone and quality; c) to be totally indifferent and unfazed in response to harsh, subjective criticisms from women; d) to always express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions in a highly selfassured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner; e) to leave a woman alone as soon as she makes it crystal clear that she is not interested in you; f) all of the above

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Chapter Eight The Ideal Goal for Every Man or Woman: To Be AUTHENTIC I always make it publicly known that I generally admire adult film stars. Those from the Conservative Conservative Right Right would would say, “What?!? Those people in the porn industry are disgusting!! They promote misogyny, promiscuity and perversion!! How could you possibly admire or respect them??” Because adult film stars, love them or hate them, are very authentic and real in their behavior.

Most of us are, to some degree, duplicitous, hypocritical and judgmental. You have women who criticize and judge women for being prostitutes and call girls, but yet these same women want to be ‘wined and dined’ in exchange for their sexual companionship. You have men who are quick to call other men ‘jerks’ for being all about casual sex, but many of these same men are pretending to want romance when they just really want a one-night stand or a weekend fling.

Men are funny. They simultaneously love kinky, promiscuous promiscuous women … and despise despise them. Men love women who who are erotically uninhibited and free-spirited because they know these

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types of women can produce a great time in bed. The vast majority of men do not want to be sexual with a prudish “good girl.” Trust me on that.

As soon as these women show them a great time in bed, they turn around and call them a slew of names designed to pass judgment on them. And then men wonder why women do not want to share any details about their sexual past with a new boyfriend.

Strive to be authentic. Accept members of the opposite sex sex for who they are. are. Don’t like something about them? Then do not date them. Simple, right?

What have manipulative head games gotten gotten you? you? I mean, really? Every game you play on someone is going to come back on you at some point. Believe that.

I wish all men who wanted multiple sex partners would simply pursue women who want multiple sex partners, and all men who want only one sex partner would hook up with women who want only one sex partner.

Instead, you have promiscuous-minded men misleading monogamous-minded women and vice versa. In the long-run, everyone ends up hurt, frustrated, bitter and resentful.

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Become an open book. Lay all of your true desires, interests, intentions and tendencies on the table. You will ultimately attract romantic partners and lovers who will truly appreciate you for who you really are. For those men spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars on materials produced by so-called “Seduction Gurus,” there is a 90% chance that you are wasting your money. Some of that stuff might work work in the short run … for a few days. In the longrun, you will be right back to square one.

Any philosophy, principles and/or techniques that are designed to prevent and/or avoid rejection are going to backfire. Trust me on that. From time to time, we all need to be rejected. That may not sink in now, but it will soon. Let’s say you are a 25-year old guy, and you seduce onehundred women by lying to them, misleading them and playing head games with them. Are 100+ orgasms orgasms really worth creating one-hundred angry women who will now totally distrust men for the rest of their lives?

Some may say, “Wow! I didn’t know Alan Roger Currie was so much about ethics and stuff!! I thought he was about helping men eliminate their fear of rejection and helping men get laid!!”

I am about upfront, straightforward straightforward honesty. If that same 25year old guy was to exhibit Mode One Behavior with each one 76


of those one-hundred women whom he seduces, more power to him! If that is the case, I have no criticism criticism of him. He laid his cards on the table, and he allowed the women to make an adult decision.

When I first wrote Mode One, One, I was single and playing the field. As of the writing of this book, I am in a long-term, emotionally profound relationship with a woman who I love very deeply. In some ways, my thoughts about male-female interactions may have changed a bit, but for the most part, I still stand by everything I have ever said in any of my books.

I leave you with a couple of quotes regarding manipulation:

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.” Philip K. Dick, American Writer “Love comes when manipulation stops; When you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.” Dr. Joyce Brothers, American Psychologist and Newspaper Columnist Mode One Baby. Make Things Happen.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alan Roger Currie was born in Gary, Indiana and graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana with a degree in Economics and a minor in Theatre and Drama. Currie is considered one of the foremost authorities on interpersonal communication between men and women in the world, and particularly, particularly, the art of single men approaching approaching women women and expressing their romantic and sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. Currie has been featured in a number of newspaper and media publications publications in countries such as Australia, Brazil, Canada, France, Guatemala and Japan, among others. Currie is the host of his own talk radio show entitled Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and has been featured in Essence magazine, Black Enterprise magazine and on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet television talk show, among other media appearances. Currie is also a Dating and Relationships Expert for BlackPeopleMeet.com online matchmaking service. Currie splits his time between Northwest Indiana and Southern California.

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Semantics and Scenarios (Mode One) - 2010

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