Science Abridged Beyond the Point of Usefulness

Science Abridged Beyond the Point - of -

Usefulness

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This is not a copyright page. This is a Creative Commons Page. Zach Weinersmith, Weinersmith, 2017. Some Rights Reserved. Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Unported http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/ Weinersmith, Zach Science: Abridged Beyond the Point of Usefulness















Das is nicht einmal falsch. - Wolfgang Pauli















This preface is a preface, which means that no one will read it. Like a black hole, there is information trapped here that will never be seen by human eyes. If you believe you are reading a preface right now, you are probably caught in a deeply warped spacetime, such as an event horizon or the customs line at an American airport. You may perceive your yourself self as alive, but to outside observers you are inert and motionless.















about this book. This book contains all of science. All of it. To be clear, clear, I am using the word “science” in the narrow narr ow sense of elds which employ one of the known scientic methods. To To wit: wi t: 1) Observation, 1) Observation, experiment, analysis, conclusion 2) 2) Observation, experiment, analysis, boring result, different analysis, different analysis, different analysis, interesting result, publication repackag 3) Observation 3) Observation of other people’s work, repackaging, publication, tenure 4) Observation, 4) Observation, experiment, catastrophic failure, less catastrophic failure, questionable success, publication, discovery that you’ve been scooped,















ing discovery, rejection, desolation, death of elderly scientists, renewed interest, posthumous recognition I have neglected to include some elds, such as Anthropology and its important subdiscipline, Sociology, as well as Economics and its important applied eld, Evil. This is not because I consider these elds to be lesser, but because after read ing the literature in quantitative nance, I realized I could do a separate Social Science book and make even more money. If any sociologists nd themselves miffed while reading this, remember that your perception of your own anger is socially constructed, so suck it up. I have also neglected to include the mathematical

















edge. But, it is now known that mathematics is in fact a narrow sub-domain of ichthyology, because if you take 1 sh and put it next to another sh, you have 2 sh. Add another, that’s 3 sh. The rest can be derived from there, and I leave it as an exercise for the reader. As a nal caveat, I wish to note that if you hap pen to be a scientist yourself, you may feel your area of study was miscategorized. For example, I asked Linguistics to sit with the weirdos at the Cognitive Science table, while Paleontology was















Shame on you. The more interdisciplinary science becomes, the harder it is for all of us to look down on chemists.

Zach Weinersmith Weinersmith Manor May, 2017















Introduction for the Teacher Don’t teach from this.















Introduction for the Student Don’t learn from this.















Science Abridged Beyond the Point - of -

















P H Y S I C S

1.1 History Aristotle said a bunch of stuff that was wrong.

















S C I S Y H P

1.2 Major Insights •

If you punch the universe, it punches right back.

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If you know exactly where something is, you can be sure it’s going between zero and 299,792,458 meters per second.

















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It turns out gravity is less like a strong man tugging on a rope than a chubby man sitting on a trampoline.

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There are exactly three numbers: 0, 1, and ∞. The use of anything else is a form of dan -

P H Y S I C S

















S C I S Y H P

1.3 Subdisciplines Thermodynamics: The Thermodynamics: The study of how everything is getting worse all the time, and how if you speed that up a little you can run an engine. Cosmology: The Cosmology: The study of how a bunch of weird stuff happened in the rst femtosecond of reality

















Astrophysics: The Astrophysics: The quantitative determination of the breadth of human insignicance. Particle Physics: The Physics: The attempt to determine the beautiful truth underlying reality by smashing little bits of it as hard as possible.

P H Y S I C S



















S C I S Y H

1.4 Recent Developments •

Long-held predictions about the nature of



















•

Quantum mechanics and gravity still aren’t

P H Y S I C



















S C I S Y H

1.5 Important Charts



















P H Y S I C



















Y































































































































































































































































































































































































6.2 Major Insights •

Consciousness isn’t so much the captain of the ship as a guy screaming from the mast.

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The brain is like a really powerful computer that spends most of its spare resources telling itself a story about how great it is.

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If you have an fMRI machine and enough time on your hands, you can prove pretty much anything you like.

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The Rosetta Stone of the human mind is traumatic head injuries.

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Your personality is located at the part of your brain that is most likely likel y to get punched, which gives you a sense of how much Evolution

C O G N I T I V E S C I E N C E















E C N E I C S E V I T I N G O C

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Attention spans are shrinking all the time, so it’s best to convey information in comically short chunks.

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If you take a few dozen students and tell them to pretend they’re in a prison, you can prove that double-blind experiments are for suckers.

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If you suspect that you suck, you will probably suck. This is called the self-fullling prophe cy. cy. If you suspect you y ou are great, you will w ill probably suck. This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect. There’s an obvious deduction to be made here, but you probably missed it.















6.3 Subdisciplines Evolutionary Psychology: Psychology: The notion that our brains are really well adapted for an environment we’ll never encounter. Experimental Psychology: Psychology: The belief that the royal road to the psyche lies through running tests on 20 college students who are seeking course credit. Abnormal Psychology: The Psychology: The study of all humans. Neuropsychology: The Neuropsychology: The understanding that sinking electrodes into your brain is easier than getting you to honestly report your own mental life.
















Linguistics: The Linguistics: The discovery that there’s this thing 4-year-olds do automatically aut omatically,, which we barely un derstand. Behavioral Economics: Economics: The attempt to make economics more rigorous by combining our bad understanding of people with our bad understanding of groups. E C N E I C S E V I T I N G O C

Social Psychology: The Psychology: The attempt to make sociology more rigorous by combining our bad understanding of groups with our bad understanding of people.















6.4 Recent Developments •

It turns out Evolution scribbled a bunch of crap all over our blank slate.

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Intelligence probably evolved to help navigate social situations among a small group of backstabbing, self-centered primates.

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We can now connect your brain directly to a computer, so you should nally be able to play video games without having to engage your arms.


















E C N E I C S

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Humans were once thought to be systematic thinkers, then thought to be stupid, then nal ly proven to be systemically stupid.

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Upon further consideration, it turns out that if you have a thing for your own mother m other,, there’s probably something wrong with you.















6.5 Important Charts

C O G N I T















E C N E I C S















ACKNOWLEDGMENTS1 The following people are complicit: John C. Lynch Dr. Chad Jones Dr. Ross Poland Dr. Stephanie Poland Dr. Alexander Roederer Dr. Dr. Ben Tippett Dr. Katie Mack Aya Moustafa Dr. Peter Marchetto Dr. Daniel Whiteson Milan V. Huysegems Liam Greenough Matthew McAteer Ben Finkel

Dr. Dr. Andrew Thaler Robert Gabbitas Dr. Luis Zaman Dr. Dr. Tim Butler Butle r Dr. Penny Higgins Warren McKenzie Dr. Dean Burnett Spencer Grant Viaggi Lloyd James Dr. Greg Weiner Dr. Jens Foell Dr. Dr. Rhett Rhe tt Allain Tim Harford Dr. Tomer Ullman

Science Abridged Beyond the Point of Usefulness

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