Relationship Magic 2015

Relationship Relationship Magic Introduction Ready to understand yourself clearly? This simple, powerful exercise will uncover the reasons you want to be in a relationship. You will realize those feelings you most want to feel and how to have them. And then you will be able to tell your partner how to create the ideal relationship for you. You will also be able to become anyone’s ideal partner. Relationship Magic will give you an indescribable feeling of being acknowledged, loved, and respected for exactly who you are. To Your Love!

Susan Bratton Mill Valley, California

Copyright © Personal Life Media. All Rghts Reserved.

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Relationship Relationship Magic Introduction Ready to understand yourself clearly? This simple, powerful exercise will uncover the reasons you want to be in a relationship. You will realize those feelings you most want to feel and how to have them. And then you will be able to tell your partner how to create the ideal relationship for you. You will also be able to become anyone’s ideal partner. Relationship Magic will give you an indescribable feeling of being acknowledged, loved, and respected for exactly who you are. To Your Love!

Susan Bratton Mill Valley, California


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Table T able of Contents Breakthrough ........................ ................................................. ............................... ...... Page 4 Ready To Get Started ............................................Page 6 Compatibility vs. Relationship Relationship Values Values ...................... Page 8 Where Did My Values Values Come From? ......................... ..... ....................Page Page 10 Why FOUR, Not More? ......................... .......................................... ................. Page 11 What if if My List Changes? Changes? ...................................... Page 12 One Couples’ Relationship Relationship Values Values Example ............. Page 13 13 Lauren’s and Robert’s Relationship Values .............. Page 15 How to Talk Talk about Relationship Relationship Values Values ................... Page 19 How to Introduce Relationship Values to a Reticent Partner .............................................Page 20 How to Find “The One” ......................................... Page 23 Caution: Powerful Powerful Tool! Tool! ......................................... ............................. ............ Page 25 Relationship Relati onship Values Values Exercise .................................. Page 26 Relationship Relation ship Values Values Clusters Clusters .................................. Page 27 Relationship Relation ship Magic Magic Worksheet Worksheet ....................... ............................... ........ Page 28 About Susan Bratton Bratton and Personal Personal Life Media ......... Page 34 Now That You Have Have an Ideal Ideal Romance Romance .................. Page 36


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Breakthrough Welcome Wel come to your most satisfying relationship relationship ever. Congratulations for taking action to nail down what is most important to you in the land of love. When you have Relationship Values in front of you, love becomes seamless. You’ll notice a nearly immediate shift in how you care for each other. Call it a love-hack. You’ll be stunned once the major shift happens. You’ll change the way you approach relationships forever. When your love life is easy and fulfilling the rest of your life is enhanced. You have more energy, resilience, and a positive outlook because you are sharing your life with someone who is by your side as the two of you set about the pursuit of happiness. On the other hand, when your love life is disappointing and bogged down with disagreements, power struggles, and miscommunications, this will color other parts of your life and rob you of deserved happiness. In the next few minutes you are going to generate your short list of what makes up the perfect relationship for you.


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Whether you’re single or married, what you’ll discover about yourself in Relationship Magic may be the biggest breakthrough you’ve experienced. How you think about what you want from a partner will never be the same. Yes, it’s a big shift, but the very fact that you are taking action to create a better love life, means you’re ready for this eye-opening frame of mind—and heart. This discovery process is a fast, easy exercise that prioritizes the feelings you want to feel in a committed relationship or even with people you date. Once you know your Relationship Values, it’s very easy to ask your partner to support them. No more guessing games. You feel as if your needs are being met because they are. When you can offer this support in return, you will be the best partner that a person can have. Imagine what your current or future relationship is going to look like when you… ● Understand the way your partner’s mind works. ● Know beyond the shadow of a doubt what you want from your relationship. ● Appear as the perfect person in your partner’s eyes. ● Live your life with a romantic partnership that never falls victim to pointless arguments, anger, or frustration.


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Ready to get started? What IS a “Value?” Values are the qualities, benefits, standards and codes of behavior that are important to you. You make decisions based on these values, which are personal to you. Your values are intrinsic to who you are. If these values are not present in a relationship, you will often feel that something is missing. Values are intangible. We aren’t talking about “money” or a “position.” Examples of personal values are security, integrity, faith, and freedom. Relationship Values give you and your partner a map to love each other in the most uniquely personalized and fulfilling way. Values express your essential self—the real you deep inside that has specific needs. Your values emerge from the way you were reared, the culture you live in, your religious upbringing, and the era in which you were born. Your values are so deep inside you that the only time you’re aware of them is when they are challenged. This is where many lovers’ spats are born. If you’ve ever been cheated on and it was unforgivable for you, one of your values may be loyalty or integrity. Another person might be able to forgive a partner who had an affair


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because they value freedom so highly they can see both sides of the situation from a viewpoint that would never occur to you. Your values come from your life experiences, the little biographies that shape your perception. If they are hidden beneath awareness rather than right in front of you where you can lead from them, it’s no wonder your current or future partner sometimes misunderstands you. Perhaps even reading the words about being able to forgive a partner for cheating sets your teeth on edge. That’s an example of your values at work; values tell you what is right or wrong for you. Values generally remain in the unconscious until they reveal themselves in a situation when they are crossed, violated, or dishonored. The minute your values are compromised, a feeling of anxious upset gets triggered. If too many value clashes occur, relationships go belly-up. The exercise you’re about to do will make you aware of your values. As soon as you identify your unique Relationship Values and share them with a partner, you open the way for that person to support those values and give you an indescribable feeling of being acknowledged, loved, and respected for exactly who you are.


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Compatibility vs. Relationship Values Most people have been led to believe that the best mate is one who is compatible. Compatible means you share similar interests, political

and

religious

views,

lifestyle preferences, taste and style, education level, et cetera. But leading couples’ therapists Harville Hendrix and Dr. David Schnarch

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explain

that

we

unconsciously choose a mate who is different, but at the same level of self-actualization. The partner you choose actually enables you to mature through childhood issues when you handle your frustrations as they arise. According to Harville, as much as 90% of the time your partner is annoying you, the annoyance stems from your past issues rather than anything that your mate is doing in present time. What’s more, your differences keep the relationship more interesting and complementary as each of you work out your issues. And instead of merging into one “unit,” the more you can stand for yourselves inside the container of your togetherness, the more satisfying your partnership will be according to Schnarch. Your differences mature you in the crucible of marriage. Your differences help you evolve. Your differences keep your relationship juicy and alive. Embracing differences, instead


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of trying to “game the system” by choosing for alleged compatibility, will ensure you have an exhilarating life together. Change your thinking from seeking a compatible partner or wondering if your mate is the right one for you to supporting each other’s Relationship Values, and your bond will begin to feel magical.

Hendrix, Harville and Hunt, Helen LaKelly. Making Marriage Simple: 10 Truths for Changing the Relationship You Have Into the One You Want. Random House, 2013. Schnarch, PhD, David. Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love & Intimacy Alive In Committed Relationships. Henry Holt and Company, LLC. 1997.


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Where Did My Values Come From? Most of your values were formed as a child. They came from your parents and role models, from television and church. But you are not your parents. As the world changes, social norms evolve. . . so being unaware of your values is a double whammy. Why? Because you get stuck in old values that are not your own and were not created during the era in which you are an adult entering a relationship. #1: You grew up in a world that etched your values into the core of who you are. But as an adult, you are now actively choosing values that match who you’ve become. #2: At the same time, you get to give the keys to your happiness to your partner so he or she can wake up every day and focus on what you truly want in your relationship. So let’s get your values figured out.


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Why FOUR, Not More? Yes, you have many values. As you go through this exercise, you’re going to identify with a long list of possible values. And I’m going to ask you to pick your top four. Why four and not more? Because remembering more than four values becomes difficult to manage. You will see that clarifying your four most important Relationship Values will give you a far superior compass as you head toward a lifetime of satisfying pleasure. In all the years that I’ve been teaching Relationship Magic, four has been more than enough. Why overcomplicate a simple shift that has profound effects? Love isn’t complicated. Why should strengthening love be?


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What If My List Changes? Some of your values may change. Some may be core values; others may vary as you age. During your parenting years, family may take priority as a value. When your children are established, freedom might supplant that value for you. Alternately, the stress of family life may make you want to get out every now and again. Before children, freedom may not have been an issue for you. Once you discover your top four Relationship Values, you’ll know, by that anxious feeling, that one of your values has changed. Revisit the values list in this book as you go through various life passages or whenever you feel the need. Relationship Magic is a forever guide. As you change, this book will be here to help you grow.


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One Couple’s Relationship Values Example Meet Lauren and Robert. They married in their early 30s, had a child five years later and little by little they became dissatisfied with each other. They didn’t know about Relationship Values until their lives were almost ruined. All throughout their marriage, Robert was doing the things he wanted Lauren to do for him. He was operating under The Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated. The problem is, Lauren’s

Relationship

Values

were

different from Robert’s, so when he treated her the way he wanted to be treated, she got annoyed. He grew more and more confused and frustrated. They nearly got divorced until they discovered the radical shift that came with recognizing their Relationship Values. The “AHA! moment” came when they expressed in detail what it was that each wanted from the other. Both were surprised at their own lists and equally amazed when they shared their lists with each other. Why? Because for Lauren, once she studied the list, she realized she’d been operating under the rules of her parents’ values. She wasn’t in touch with what was truly right for her life. Lauren grew up in the 70s and was deeply influenced by the culture of women’s liberation. She never wanted to rely on


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a man for anything. But upon deeper inspection into her heart, it dawned on her that, in fact, she would prefer her man to take care of the finances completely, leaving her freed up for creative pursuits. Robert came to the sad conclusion that passion—physical affection and intimacy— was top on his list. But after a couple years of marriage, he was no longer receiving the level of affection and passion he craved. This exercise was a safe way to bring up their needs and work within the rank-ordering process that is mapped out in the following pages. Giving specifics about what those values feel, look, and act like when they are satisfied helped Lauren and Robert stop their pointless arguments, warm up their cold bed, and release the pressure of needing to work at making each other happy. The most interesting aspect of values is that they don’t necessarily make sense—at least not in the rational sense that you can think your way through. They are what they are, and at times seem to contradict each other. For example: Lauren’s top two values seem at odds in this example— she wants to be taken care of (security) and do anything she wants (freedom). Notice how it works out.


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Lauren’s and Robert’s Relationship Values You may find, like this couple, that some of your values match and others are very different. Lauren

Robert

Security

Passion

Freedom

Honesty

Honesty

Growth

Variety

Fun & Adventure

Lauren’s Values: More than anything, Lauren wants her man to take care of her — financially, and in body and spirit. She would not be in a relationship if she couldn’t have the things that signal security for her. She’d rather go it alone than bother with a man who didn’t fulfill her #1 Relationship Value. In addition to being taken care of, she wants the freedom to do things that her more introverted, homebody husband may not want to do. Lauren wants to be financially taken care of AND be free to do whatever strikes her fancy. That might be asking too much for many men, but Robert enjoys taking care of his woman, and he loves her joy for life’s experiences. Since they play a higher game together, the push and pull of security and freedom can work within their relationship. The higher game they play is that she wouldn’t want to do any freedom activity that would hurt Robert or be a downer


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for him in any way. If something appealed to Lauren but Robert had serious reservations, it would no longer appeal to her. The last thing she wants is to detract from her husband’s happiness. Lauren’s third Relationship Value is her desire for total honesty from her partner. No BS. Total truth. No matter how hard it hurts to speak the truth. And she wants variety. Routine makes her crazy. She likes to learn new things and do new things.

Robert’s Values: More than anything, Robert wants a passionate relationship. He wouldn’t be in a committed relationship if he could not have passion. He likes to touch and be touched. He likes a lot of lovemaking, wants to try new positions, experiment, and role-play. He needs Lauren to enjoy frequent physical intimacy with him. He also prefers total honesty and needs to feel as if he is safe in his relationship. He wants growth. He likes Lauren to push him because she knows his capabilities. In addition, he likes fun and adventure. An introvert, he loves it when Lauren comes up with fun things to do. Robert is a good fit for Lauren, because she likes variety, and he likes growth and adventure. Plus, they both value honesty.


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Their Values Together: They are a natural fit together in their top Relationship Values, and they are compatible, which is likely why they married. Before they discovered their Relationship Values, however, their marriage was on the rocks. Lauren had a blind spot about her need to be financially taken care of, which she hadn’t admitted to herself until her marriage was falling apart. Moreover, she didn’t understand how important touch and affection were for Robert. She assumed a married couple’s sex life would decline over time. She hadn’t even considered that this didn’t have to be so...if careful, consistent attention is put on fanning the flames of passion. Before Robert and Lauren identified their Relationship Values, he had pushed Lauren for sex, and she couldn’t help but resist. Until she understood that sexual intimacy was the #1 reason Robert was in a relationship, she’d simply dismissed him as annoying and needy. When she realized and acted on Robert’s need for touch and loving attention, she was amazed. When she wore lingerie, stroked his hair, walked around nude so he could see her naked body and kissed him a lot, he was much happier! She finally understood it wasn’t always intercourse he desired.


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Passion included physical affection of many varieties. This is just one example of how Relationship Values can get you both on the same level, and help you discover what will bring you both joy. A word of warning: it is not enough to say, for example, that passion is one of your Relationship Values. You must give specifics so your partner will know when he or she is meeting your needs. You will find more detail in the following pages to ensure you’re taking the right actions to generate the relationship experience your partner craves. But first, if you’re wondering how to broach the subject of Relationship Values with your partner, here is a very sweet way to get your partner engaged in an enjoyable manner.


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How to Talk about Your Relationship Values When you share your Relationship Values with your mate, you have an opportunity to let each other in at a deeper level by revealing important needs that are not being fulfilled. Both women and men have certain experiences they desire. Often these get shuffled aside, while we continue to hope and long for those experiences in our heart of hearts where they can’t be denied. For men, the conversation about Relationship Values can smack of “chick crack.” Women love to talk about relationships, especially their own, and men often find this tedious—largely because it tends to go around and around, and rarely addresses their deeper needs. Talking to you about your relationship will be an exciting conversation for her. Listen attentively, keep your eyes on her, and do your best to fully understand what she’s saying. Ask for clarification when needed, encourage her to give you examples, and repeat back to her what you understood.

You’re getting a shortcut, a checklist, even a treasure map to make your woman happy, so listen up!


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How to Introduce Relationship Values to a Reticent Partner Here’s

one

possible

approach

for

discovering your Relationship Values if you suspect your partner may not be keen on the idea. Make a nice meal or go out to dinner. Bring this eBook on your smartphone or eReader, or print out the Values List and Worksheet and bring it with you. To make this turning point in your relationship a very special moment, try these touch techniques. When you take her out, open her car door and every other door the two of you enter. Tell her she looks pretty and give her a specific compliment (her hair, her outfit, her gorgeous cleavage) rather than a general comment about her attractiveness that evening. Look her in the eyes as she’s talking. Put your full attention on her. Be totally present and undistracted. Sometime during the night, touch her back, her arm or her leg with gentle but firm pressure. She will thrill to these moves. Tell her you want to explore her Relationship Values. Tell her you want to be the guy who really knows what she wants so he doesn’t have to guess.


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Explain the three-step process to her. Make a list of your values for consideration, either using your own or choosing from the suggested list in the Relationship Values Workbook. Next, rank-order your list of values. Prioritize the four you cannot live without. Would you be in a relationship if you couldn’t get X? How about Y? What can you NOT LIVE WITHOUT? Complete this sentence: I would prefer to leave if my relationship didn’t include ________________. For Lauren, she could not stay in a marriage if her man couldn’t provide a secure home and health care. She’d rather go it alone. For Robert, if he can’t get that touch he craves, he’d rather be single. What conditions would have to be met for you to be fulfilled and satisfied at your core? Once you have your top four Relationship Values, take the next and most important step of all.


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Get really clear on what a particular word means to your partner. Don’t assume you know. Ask. Probe. Listen. Repeat it back to him or her. Visualize and explain what it would look, sound, and feel like if your partner was delivering your Relationship Values. What does that value mean to you specifically? How do you know when that value is acknowledged and satisfied in that just-right way? What would indicate to you that your values were not an essential part of your relationship? What specific actions support your values. Completing this exercise can be a pivot-point for your relationship, a marker moment when both of you feel what you share begins to get better, more satisfying, and more aligned. What if you are single? Can you use this to find your soul mate or even a few great people to date?


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How to Find “The One” Knowing your Relationship Values is a powerful tool in selecting a partner wisely. If one of your top values is passion and you’ve met a potential mate who is deeply conservative with his or her physical affection, it

might

create

more

problems than you care to take on. On the other hand, if you know your top values and can share them with a potential mate, or even someone you just enjoy dating, you are clarifying your needs right upfront. If you need high levels of security and you’re dating someone who loves the adrenalin rush of living dangerously, your relationship will be fraught with anxiety. On the other hand, if you lay out your values to a potential mate and they say, “It’s easy for me to support your values,” then you’ve handed over the blueprint to your satisfaction. You start off the relationship with a positive focus with the intent of satisfying each other’s unique set of values. Knowing your Relationship Values helps you make a more informed decision about suitable mates. It also helps you


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choose someone who is fully informed about your needs. Even better, if you can find someone who is onboard with satisfying your core needs AND the two of you have good chemistry, you have the makings of a long, fruitful, and intimate life together. If you’re married and wondering if this can help “fix” a bad marriage, it might. (Remember the solution is a two-way street.) If your partner is willing to put his or her attention on your needs and vice versa, it could be the solution to a lot of behaviors that don’t bring out the best in either of you. There are two parts to this exercise in discovery. The first is to get your list of values. The second is to describe them in detail so your partner can understand what those words mean to you. Once your partner knows what security or freedom or adventure means to you, he or she can begin to bring your dream scenarios to life.


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Caution: Powerful Tool! Do not use this approach to pick up dates and break their hearts. If you get into a conversation about Relationship Values with a woman and mirror her values back to her, she’s going to feel like you “get” her, perhaps better than anyone has understood her before. If you help someone realize their Relationship Values as a calculated effort to manipulate him or her, your ulterior motives will be found out. If you use the Relationship Values technique to build comfort with a date and get to know if your values match, it can be the beginning of deep intimacy and a shared understanding that serves you both. Ready to discover your Relationship Values right now?


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Relationship Values Exercise You are going to choose, prioritize, and elaborate on your top Relationship Values. Step #1) Choose the values that are vitally important to your happiness. Write them down on the worksheet. Step #2) Conduct a rank-order prioritization by asking yourself, “Would I be in a relationship if I couldn’t have this? Value #1) is most important and so on. Put each of your values in decreasing priority. Then whittle the list down to just four values that are your “must-haves.” Step #3) Visualize and explain what it would look, sound, and feel like if your partner was supporting your Relationship Values. What does each value mean to you specifically? How do you know when your value is being met? What are the indications that your value was met? What causes you to feel that value is manifested in everyday activities? The more ideas and examples you can offer your partner about what it’s like when your values are met, the more satisfaction you both receive. These values are grouped in to 18 clusters of similar words. You will find that one of the words in the list most closely matches your sentiments.


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Relationship Values Clusters Achievement Motivation Perseverance Excellence Focus Ambition Growth Learning Determination Originality Familial Focus Familial Care Community Contribution Selflessness Service Philanthropy Benevolence Generosity Communication Honesty Acceptance Affirmation Connection Thoughtfulness Forgiveness Empathy Empowerment Mindfulness Appreciation Gratitude Mastery Proficiency Self-Reliance Smartness Ability Education Expertise Brilliance Intelligence Inventiveness Knowledge Depth

Inspiration Skillfulness Accomplishment Prosperity Affluence Fame Financial Security Progressivism Responsibility Accountability Significance Impact Dependability Adventure Excitement Freedom Independence Non-Conformity Activism Playfulness Recreation Spontaneity Variety Curiosity Charm Sophistication Discernment Beauty Popularity Liveliness Boldness Courage Confidence Conviction Intensity Extroversion Cheerfulness Goodness Optimism Kindness Joy Laughter

Wonder Happiness Gratitude Fulfillment Passion Affection Care Dedication Friendship Intimacy Pleasure Respect Sensitivity Sensuality Sexuality Warmth Harmony Presence Companionship Resourcefulness Economy Obedience Thrift Discipline Orderliness Authenticity Awareness Practicality Moderation Rationality Contentment Emotional Health Serenity Logic Maturity Faith Grace Compassion Honor Heroism Consciousness Devotion Intuitiveness Perceptiveness


Zen Spirituality Diplomacy Tact Flexibility Open-mindedness Ease Flow Patience Resilience Cooperation Health Fitness Longevity Stability Traditionalism Loyalty Fidelity Unity Presence Aliveness Integrity Trust Reliability Fairness Acceptance Affirmation Encouragement Belonging Connection Communication Honesty Thoughtfulness Forgiveness Empathy Empowerment Mindfulness Appreciation Gratitude

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Relationship Magic Worksheet 3 Easy Steps #1) Look through the list and write all the words on the list that are important to you in a relationship. Be choosy. You are only going to get to pick four. What do you want? ● Humor and daily giggles shared just between the two of you? ● A sense of belonging, as if you and your partner were an unstoppable team? ● Security. Health care. Insurance. All the odds and ends that give you peace of mind? ● Kids playing in the yard? ● The independence that allows you to get out every now and again on your own? ● A cuddle bug who spoons with you, and makes you feel cherished and adored? Whatever your heart desires you should get from a loving partner who lives to satisfy you.


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All My Values _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ #2) Now rank order the values above asking yourself, “Would I be in a relationship if I could not have ___________________.” Rank ordering means you have to take two values and compare one to the other and the one you must have most – the one that is more important of the two. Keep doing that until you get your list down to four values.

My Top 4 Values

REMEMBER: If you’re already in a relationship, your partner also needs to complete this exercise. Bulletproof romances are equal parts giving and taking. Copyright © Personal Life Media. All Rghts Reserved.

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My Partner’s Values _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________

My Partner’s Top 4 Values

#3) Now that you have your four most important values, begin to write down specific ways your partner could deliver on this need for you. Make them as detailed as possible. Specific Examples:

“It makes me feel secure when you get my door for me.” “I feel passion when you take a soapy shower with me.”

Now you write yours:


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My Relationship Values Relationship Value #1: _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Relationship Value #2: _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Relationship Value #3: _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Relationship Value #4: _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Copyright © Personal Life Media. All Rghts Reserved.

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My Partner’s Relationship Values My Partner’s Relationship Value #1: _________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ My Partner’s Relationship Value #2: _________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ My Partner’s Relationship Value #3: _________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ My Partner’s Relationship Value #4: _________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Copyright © Personal Life Media. All Rghts Reserved.

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Now share your lists with each other, giving as much detail as possible about how your partner can do a good job giving you exactly what you want. Going forward as you continue to share your desires with each other each day, also focus on giving your partner the experiences they want to have by being in relationship with you. Put attention on your partner’s needs and help them do the same for you. Treat each other with respect and talk sweetly to them so they can do the same for you. Remember to enjoy the journey through life together.


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About Susan Bratton and Personal Life Media Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for any man or woman who dreams of a satisfying romantic life. An

author,

award-winning

speaker,

and

serial

entrepreneur, Susan teaches from her own experience of watching her marriage decline once the honeymoon phase was over. While she and her husband pursued dynamic careers, their intimacy withered. After they hit an emotional crisis point, the couple made a fierce commitment to do whatever it took to keep their family together and revive their marital passion. They attended a dozen relationship workshops, worked with marriage counselors, and read countless books. Their relationship went from stale to hot, hot, hot. When they told their friends how they rekindled their passion, they were met with a mix of curiosity and trembling dread. Many friends simply turned away, unwilling to even mention the subject. She could see it in their body language—going to a workshop was miles out of most people's comfort zones. That is when her mission to put more passion in people's love lives was born: she would provide the antidote to


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inexperience, boredom and infrequent intimacy by creating programs that anyone could access from the privacy of home . . . or even the bedroom. Personal Life Media is devoted to simple and sensual lovemaking techniques that make your sex life better and better. Through Personal Life Media, Susan has authored 20 books including Relationship Magic, The Passion Patch, and 30 Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic. She has published a collection of online courses including her own wildly popular Revive Her Drive, Dr. Patti Taylor’s Seduction Trilogy and Expand Her Orgasm Tonight, and Keep Her Coming and Female Liquid Orgasm by Tallulah Sulis. The thrust of her work serves those who crave a profoundly passionate relationship. Millions have been touched by the more than one thousand articles and audio dialogs on topics including conscious marriage, relationship values, flirting, kissing, foreplay and erotic escalation, masculine-feminine magnetism, and innovative pleasuring techniques, many of which she gives away free of charge through her Insider’s Club newsletter and website at http://personallifemedia.com. Susan has a whole-hearted commitment to shame-free and frequent sexual pleasure she believes is every man and woman’s birthright:

“ experience that deep, passionate intimacy with

After 21 years of marriage, I know from

my partner is priceless--a priority that tops my list of must-haves alongside good health and the love of family and friends. I have made it my mission to aid anyone who wants the kind of lovemaking that improves with age.” — Susan Bratton


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Susan is Chair Emeritus of the ad:tech conference and sits on the Board of Directors of ZEDO, Inc., and The Center for Integral Wisdom, along with Ken Wilber, John Gray, and other luminaries. She lives in Mill Valley, California with her husband and their teenage daughter.

Now That You Have an Ideal Romance Click here to sign up for Susan’s Insider’s Club Newsletter. You’ll get weekly wisdom that empowers you to live a passionate and pleasurable personal life. Be a better lover.


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Follow Susan for more free romance and sensuality advice for men in relationship who want more and better sex with the woman you have now. Revive Her Drive.

If you dare, get Sloane’s sexy adventures and sensual musings by email.

Get more free Expanded Orgasm, Tantra and seduction skills advice for couples at Expand Her Orgasm Tonight or Seduction Trilogy.

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Relationship Magic 2015

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