we shared should not have been able to happen, but it did.” He stops treading long enough to stand again and observe me. “I acted callously, and in direct contradiction to the very nature of my people. I am not proud. And now, here you are.” Hey, sun, I want to say to the light’s halo effect framing his muscled body. Guess the quine’s not such an angel, after all. He is honest. I have to respect that about him. I swim around his standing figure, inspecting him the way the humans have so frequently inspected me. Appraising. His sculpted biceps and pectorals. The bronze of his tanned skin. His sun-kissed blond hair. His turquoise eyes, staring so intently into mine now. Wanting. Alex releases his feet from the water’s bottom and returns to swimming—this time, chasing me through the water. I laugh as he darts beneath and around me, and I do the same, resurrecting this aqua dance I know he did so many times with her. But I own this experience now. She is gone. He is mine for the taking, should I choose. Do I even have a choice? I let him catch me. We are breathless as his big arms encircle my body, and pull me close to him. I look up into the pools of his eyes, and I know. He is not Tahir. But he will do. With Alex, I can join the Army of Defects in the Rave Caves. Alex can train me so that I may be part of the Insurrection. Be the symbol of freedom they want me to be. They want to rise up; I want to rise up. I want purpose and direction, not a life cut short like Zhara’s. I want to finish what Xanthe and Miguel started. Alex will take care of the being growing inside me. He is not my love. But he is an excellent solution. My choice is decided. I will join his call to arms. His arms, so beefy and strong—are so very enticing. Not such a sacrifice to want to be wrapped inside them. Suddenly, everything Zhara felt for him—lust, love, passion, obsession, tenderness, desire—seems to flow fully alive within me. Here with him in the water, I lift my legs and wrap around them around his back. He holds me tight, his chest pressing into mine, and yes, I can’t deny. My heart races. A swoon. “Yes?” he asks in his gravelly voice. “Yes,” I murmur. Alex’s lips lean down to mine, and my mouth parts to meet his. The sun, the water, this moment: we have imprinted together.
Diving. Swimming. Kissing. Holding. Knowing. The afternoon’s setting sun lets us know twilight approaches. We need to leave the atoll’s blue lagoon to make it back to Mine before sunset for Alex’s meditation time, and for me to say my proper good-bye to M-X.
Tomorrow, we have determined, we will set sail for the Rave Caves, to our new beginning. As we return to our canoe stored on the beach, we see a small sailboat in the water, coming in to land at the beach. “I recognize that boat,” says Alex, holding my hand as we walk toward the shore. “It belongs to the Army of Defects in the Rave Caves.” The boat lands and is drawn up on the sand by two burly men vined in holly. Alex says, “New recruits from Haven, I see.” The two men help a girl to climb out over the boat’s side. A human girl, not vined, looking feral and punk, her long blond hair streaked with black and blue dye, turned wild by the ocean wind. She sees us and calls out, “Xander!” Alex’s hand drops mine. The Defects and the girl stand right in front of us. The girl’s face regards me. It registers shock and then anguish. Her face is mine. The girl is Zhara. I do have a soul. I always suspected it to be true, and now I know for sure. Because my First never died.