Paul McKenna - Change Your Life in 7 Days

Mantesh

ALSO

The

BY

Hypnotic

How

PAUL

World

to Mend

McKENNA

of Paul

McKenna

Your Broken Heart

(with H u g h W i l l b o u r n )

Mantesh

CHANGE Y O U R LIFE IN

7 DAYS The World's Leading Hypnotist Shows You How

PAUL McKENNA, Edited

by

Michael

HARMONY NEW

BOOKS

YORK

Ph.D.

Neill

Mantesh

Copyright © 2004 by Paul McKenna All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, www. crownpublishing. com HARMONY BOOKS is a registered trademark and the Harmony Books colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc. Originally published in Great Britain by Bantam Press, a division of Transworld Publishers, London, in 2004. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data McKenna, Paul, 1963Change your life in seven days : the world's leading hypnotist shows you how / Paul McKenna.—1st ed. p. cm. 1. Self-actualization (Psychology) 2. Self-perception. 3. Autogenic training. I. Title. BF637.S4M3926 2005 2004018135 158.1—dc22 ISBN 1-4000-8287-0 Printed in the United States of America 1 0

9 8 7 6 5 4 3

First American Edition

Mantesh

To my parents, who gave me more than I realized

Mantesh

Acknowledgments I w o u l d l i k e t o t h a n k all o f m y c o l l e a g u e s , c l i e n t s , a n d students w h o h a v e c o n t r i b u t e d t o this b o o k . I

would

especially

like

to

thank

Richard

Bandler,

M i c h a e l Neill, M i c h a e l B r e e n , D i a n a Beaver, D o u g Y o u n g , Clare Staples, M i k e O s b o r n e , a n d Paul D u d d r i d g e .

Mantesh

Contents

Author's

Note

xi

Introduction 1

DAY 1

Who Are You, Really ? 15

DAY

2

A

User's

Manual

for

Your

Brain

39

DAY

3

The Power of a Positive Perspective 75

DAY 4

Dream Setting 105

ix

Mantesh PAUL

DAY

5

McKENNA

Healthy Foundations 139

DAY 6

Creating Money 169

DAY

7

Happily Ever After 207

Conclusion:

Changing Your Life, 233

x

One

Week

at a

Time

Mantesh

S

I M P O R T A N T

I

I

(

| T h e r e is a special hypnotic recording to accompany | '£ this hook. It will help von re-enforce I lit: positive J C benefits von gel from the techniques yon are a b o u t \ lo use. 5

Yon can download it for free by visiting:

f.

www.paiiliiickenna.coni/trance

PAUL

DAY

5

McKENNA

Healthy Foundations 139

DAY 6

Creating Money 169

DAY

7

Happily Ever After 207

Conclusion:

Changing Your Life, 233

One

Week

at a

Time

I M P O R T A N T T h e r e is a special hypnotic •recording to a c c o m p a n y this book. It. will help Y O U ••re-enforce I he positive benefits von gel from the techniques you are about to use. You can download it for free by visiting: www.paulinckcnna.eom/t ranee

INTRODUCTION

_

llTMttHM.

'

Y o u HOLD i n y o u r h a n d s a b o o k t h a t h a s t h e p o w e r t o c h a n g e y o u r life forever. D o e s that s e e m like a n o u t l a n d i s h claim? S o m a n y o f t h e p e o p l e I've g u i d e d to a c h i e v i n g their desires started out w o n d e r i n g h o w it is possible a n d e n d e d up astoundi n g t h e m s e l v e s . N o w it's y o u r t u r n . D o n ' t u n d e r e s t i m a t e t h e p o w e r o f t h e system i n this b o o k . I p r o m i s e y o u — i t will c h a n g e y o u r life! Success a n d happiness are not accidents that just happ e n to s o m e p e o p l e a n d not to o t h e r s — t h e y are predictable results c r e a t e d by deliberate ways of t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , ways t h a t I'll b e s h a r i n g w i t h y o u o v e r t h e n e x t s e v e n days. A s t h e s a y i n g g o e s , s u c c e s s i s all a b o u t l u c k — a s k any failure!

C A N I REALLY C H A N G E MY LIFE IN S E V E N D A Y S ?

Whether you think you can or you think

People

who

attend

my

seminars

are

always a m a z e d w h e n w e c u r e l i f e l o n g p h o b i a s i n less t h a n a n h o u r , o r c l e a r u p s u p p o s e d l y d e e p - s e a t e d issues i n j u s t

3

you can't, you're probably right. —Henry Ford

PAUL

McKENNA

a few days. B u t m o s t p e o p l e c a n t h i n k of a time w h e n t h e i r lives c h a n g e d i n j u s t a f e w m o m e n t s . P e r h a p s i t was getting a new piece of important information, or meeti n g a special s o m e o n e a n d k n o w i n g that y o u r life w o u l d never again be the same. H e r e is the reason why c h a n g e c a n h a p p e n so quickly:

The changes that matter most are more often changes in perception than changes in the world outside us. And we can change the way we perceive the world in a heartbeat. In fact, t h e m y t h that it takes a l o n g t i m e to c h a n g e has only b e e n a r o u n d for a b o u t a h u n d r e d years, w h e n F r e u d i a n analysis b e c a m e t h e d o m i n a n t i n f l u e n c e i n t h e treatment

of psychosomatic

illness.

What

makes

this

point of view ironic is that the goal of psychoanalysis has n e v e r b e e n t o change p e o p l e , b u t r a t h e r t o h e l p t h e m gain a d e e p e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g of why they are the way they are. In my work, understanding is the b o o b y prize! S o m e t i m e s e v e n a s m a l l c h a n g e c a n m a k e a h u g e difference. For example, imagine you and another person are driving a l o n g two straight roads, stretching side by side off into the infinite distance. N o w i m a g i n e that o n e of t h o s e r o a d s shifts e v e n a t i n y b i t a w a y f r o m t h e o t h e r . A t first t h e d i f f e r e n c e m i g h t s e e m i m p e r c e p t i b l e . B u t o v e r time, that small c h a n g e in direction w o u l d take y o u to an entirely different destination f r o m the other person. T h e t e c h n i q u e s c o n t a i n e d in Change Your Life in Seven Days a r e s t a t e o f t h e a r t , o f f e r i n g n o t o n l y t h e l a t e s t soft-

4

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

ware b u t also a w h o l e n e w o p e r a t i n g system for y o u r body and mind. E a c h day, y o u w i l l m a k e t i n y c h a n g e s , c h a n g e s t h a t m a y b e i m p e r c e p t i b l e t o y o u a t first. B u t a s y o u c o n t i n u e m o v i n g f o r w a r d , y o u will b e g i n t o realize j u s t h o w far y o u have already c o m e and just h o w m u c h you have changed. Let's face i t — i f y o u d o virtually a n y t h i n g consistently f o r s e v e n days, i t will c h a n g e y o u . W h a t m a k e s this system d i f f e r e n t i s t h a t m a n y o f t h e t e c h n i q u e s y o u will b e l e a r n i n g a s y o u r e a d will g o o n w o r k i n g , h e l p i n g y o u l o n g after y o u stop u s i n g t h e m . O v e r the n e x t seven days the a c t i o n s y o u take will set u p a w a v e o f c h a n g e i n y o u r life that will i n t u r n affect m a n y o t h e r areas o f y o u r life, w h i c h in t u r n affect others. Just as an oil t a n k e r takes a little w h i l e t o start m o v i n g , i t b e c o m e s difficult t o s t o p o n c e i t builds u p sufficient m o m e n t u m . F o r centuries p e o p l e t h o u g h t it was impossible to r u n a four-minute mile. T h e n on M a r c h 6, 1954, R o g e r Bann i s t e r d i d w h a t all

great pioneers

do—he

made

the

impossible happen. R e c e n t l y , I m e t Dr. B a n n i s t e r a n d w e talked a b o u t h o w a m a z i n g it was that within a year of his b r e a k i n g t h e fourm i n u t e m i l e , thirty-seven o t h e r p e o p l e a r o u n d the world did so as well. In the f o l l o w i n g y e a r , a n i n c r e d i b l e three hundred r u n n e r s b r o k e t h r o u g h that previously i m p e n e t r a b l e barrier. T h e finest m i n d s of the a g e h a d believed it was impossible

to

do,

a n d their beliefs b e c a m e

a self-fulfilling

p r o p h e c y . ( S o m e n o t e d scientists actually s u g g e s t e d that

5

PAUL

McKENNA

t h e h u m a n b o d y w o u l d explode i f p u s h e d t o d o a f o u r minute mile!) It only t o o k o n e c o u n t e r e x a m p l e — o n e p e r s o n proving that what others h a d previously t h o u g h t could n o t be d o n e was in fact p o s s i b l e — f o r e v e r y o n e else to tap into that possibility w i t h i n themselves. T h e h u m a n m i n d generalizes as a learning principle. For example, as a child you learn h o w a d o o r opens a n d closes. Y o u r m i n d t h e n generalizes that l e a r n i n g to apply to all d o o r s e v e r y w h e r e . T h i s w o r k s equally well w h e t h e r the learnings are useful or painful. O v e r the n e x t seven days, we are g o i n g to dismande many of the negative generalizations you have m a d e a b o u t the world, a n d build positive n e w ones.

MY STORY I

became

interested

in

all

things

self-improvement

s h o r d y after I left s c h o o l . It d i d n ' t take l o n g for me to r e a d n e a r l y e v e r y s e l f - h e l p b o o k , try e v e r y t e c h n i q u e , a n d a p p l y e v e r y t h i n g I was l e a r n i n g to my o w n life. As a r e s u l t , m y life c h a n g e d d r a m a t i c a l l y f o r t h e b e t t e r . I n fact, since I b e g a n u s i n g the t e c h n i q u e s I am a b o u t to share with you, I quickly noticed an i m p r o v e m e n t in my confidence, my finances, my career, a n d the way p e o p l e treated

me.

I

became

wealthy,

famous,

and

my

life

b e c a m e infinitely m o r e g l a m o r o u s t h a n i t was b e f o r e — all i n a s h o r t s p a c e o f t i m e . A l l o f t h e b e s t t e c h n i q u e s t h a t

6

Change


I u s e d to c r e a t e t h e life I live t o d a y a r e c o n t a i n e d in t h e book you now hold in your hands! M y p u r p o s e i n life, a n d t h e g o a l o f this b o o k , i s t o h e l p y o u g e t g r e a t e r c o n t r o l o f y o u r s e l f a n d y o u r life. S i n c e 1 9 8 5 , 1 h a v e b e e n w o r k i n g o n a r e v o l u t i o n a r y selfi m p r o v e m e n t system that will w o r k f o r e v e r y o n e . T h e unique

success-conditioning system y o u

are

about to

l e a r n has n o w b e e n p e r f e c t e d — y o u will b e g i n m a k i n g p r o f o u n d c h a n g e s w i t h i n t h e v e r y first day. B e s t o f a l l , y o u c a n r e l a x — i t ' s v e r y easy, a n d y o u d o n ' t h a v e t o h a v e a n y p r e v i o u s e x p e r i e n c e o r skill. I n fact, i f y o u c a n close y o u r eyes, talk t o y o u r s e l f a n d o t h e r s , a n d m o v e your body, y o u

can

control your thinking and

behavior, a n d ultimately y o u c a n live t h e life o f y o u r dreams. All y o u have to do is follow my instructions step by step, even if at times you're n o t sure y o u ' r e d o i n g it right. T o g e t h e r , w e are g o i n g t o d e s i g n a n d install "positive software" for your m i n d !

THE P O W E R O F N O W T h i s i s a n e x c i t i n g t i m e i n history. O u r w o r l d i s t r a n s f o r m i n g e v e r y day. T h e s c i e n t i f i c a n d t e c h n o l o g i c a l t r a n s f o r mations

and breakthroughs

that are

taking place

all

a r o u n d us are increasing at e x p o n e n t i a l rates. W e , as a h u m a n race, are c o n n e c t i n g over great distances, explori n g a n d reshaping o u r world. Journeys that used to take m o n t h s are n o w m a d e in hours; calculations that u s e d to

7

PAUL

McKENNA

take years are n o w d o n e in minutes. T h e question is n o t will y o u r life c h a n g e — t h e q u e s t i o n i s w h a t w i l l i t c h a n g e into? R i g h t n o w w e live i n a d i g i t a l i n f o r m a t i o n a g e . F a x e s , m o b i l e t e l e p h o n e s , c o m p u t e r s , a n d satellite t e c h n o l o g y , u n t h i n k a b l e e v e n fifty y e a r s a g o , a r e n o w c o n s i d e r e d a n o r m a l p a r t o f twenty-first-century life. S o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s o n o n e side o f the world a n d w e c a n watch i t o n o u r t e l e v i s i o n s c r e e n s m o m e n t s later. G l o b a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n s systems c a n c o n n e c t m i n d t o m i n d like n e r v e cells in a h u g e global brain. W h e r e v e r it is we are going, we a r e g o i n g t h e r e fast! We stand on the threshold of an e n o r m o u s leap in o u r evolution, a n d I believe that the n e x t great stage in h u m a n d e v e l o p m e n t will b e a m o v e o u t o f t h e i n f o r m a t i o n a g e a n d i n t o a n e w t i m e i n w h i c h p e o p l e will b e g i n t o d e v e l o p t h e i r i n n e r r e s o u r c e s . I c a l l this time t h e a g e of psychotechnology—a t i m e w h e n w e w i l l b e g i n t o u n l e a s h t h e a m a z i n g p o w e r s a n d i n n e r a b i l i t i e s t h a t w e a r e all b o r n w i t h . I s e e the understanding a n d practice of psychotechnology as b e i n g like h a v i n g a n owner's m a n u a l for y o u r brain. Unfortunately, most p e o p l e spend m o r e time learning to work their D V D player than they do their own mind. By taking the next week to read and practice the e x e r c i s e s i n this b o o k , y o u a r e m a r k i n g y o u r s e l f o u t a s different from the 98 percent of people who, to quote Winston Churchill, "stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." I n this b o o k , y o u ' l l d i s c o v e r t h e t e c h n i q u e s t h a t h a v e

8

Change


h e l p e d m a n y p e o p l e break t h r o u g h their limitations a n d release their true potential. Together, we are g o i n g to p r o g r a m y o u r m i n d to m a k e y o u a happier, m o r e confident, and powerful person.

GETTING STARTED B e f o r e y o u b e g i n o n this j o u r n e y i n t o y o u r true p o t e n tial, I ' d like y o u t o stop a n d c o n s i d e r this: What would it be like if you woke up one morning and a miracle had happened—your life had become exactly what you wanted it to be? D o i t n o w — s t o p a n d v i v i d l y i m a g i n e it. •

H o w w o u l d y o u know that the miracle h a d taken place?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u see?

•

W h a t would you hear?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u feel inside?

•

What

changes

would

have

happened

in

career? •

In y o u r relationships?

•

Your

•

Your health?

finances?

As you use the ideas and practice the techniques you will learn from this book, you are going to make these dreams come true.

9

your

PAUL

McKENNA

Simply relax, read, a n d allow the ideas a n d exercises in the b o o k to take root. J u s t as a g a r d e n e r plants s e e d s a n d patiently waits f o r t h e m t o grow, e v e r y t i m e y o u w o r k w i t h this b o o k , y o u ' r e p l a n t i n g positive suggestions i n y o u r m i n d that will g r o w into

powerful

n e w ways

to

operate

the world's

most

advanced b i o c o m p u t e r — y o u r brain! E v e n t h o u g h y o u c a n a c h i e v e d r a m a t i c results i n y o u r v e r y first w e e k , y o u m a y w a n t t o r e t u r n People are always

t o t h e b o o k s e v e r a l t i m e s i n t h e first f e w

blaming

m o n t h s . It is vitally i m p o r t a n t to do t h e

circum-

stances for what they

exercises in order to get the kind of

are. I don't believe in

results y o u want. No single t e c h n i q u e is

circumstances.

a m a g i c pill for success, b u t w h e n y o u

The

people who get ahead

p r a c t i c e t h e m a g a i n a n d a g a i n t h e y will

in this world are the

b e c o m e second nature to you. Whatever you achieve in the

people who get up

next

and look for the

t e n years will b e t h e result o f w h a t y o u

circumstances they_

do now. As the saying goes, if y o u k e e p

want, and if they

d o i n g w h a t y o u ' v e always d o n e y o u ' l l

can't find them,

just get more

make them.

got. But you do have the power to make

—George Bernard Shaw

an

incredible

of what you've

difference

A n d i t starts r i g h t h e r e .

10

already

t o y o u r life.

Change


THE D I F F E R E N C E T H A T M A K E S THE D I F F E R E N C E M a n y p e o p l e b e g i n a self-help b o o k or p e r s o n a l training p r o g r a m b u t quit halfway t h r o u g h . T h e y c o n v i n c e thems e l v e s t h a t it's t o o h a r d o r t h a t t h e y d o n ' t h a v e w h a t i t takes. H e r e ' s the p r o b l e m with that a p p r o a c h :

If you don't take control of your life, someone else will.

Now,

I k n o w responsibility i s n ' t a v e r y p o p u l a r w o r d

these days. Billions of dollars c h a n g e h a n d s e a c h y e a r as p e o p l e literally pass t h e b u c k on w h o s e fault it is t h a t their coffee was too hot, their b o d y was too weak, or their d o g was p o o r l y trained. B u t a n o t h e r way of t h i n k i n g a b o u t responsibility is that i t i s r e a l l y a b o u t c o n t r o l . D o y o u w a n t t o c o n t r o l y o u r life o r h a n d o v e r that c o n t r o l t o o t h e r p e o p l e — y o u r family, the m e d i a , or even society in general? Do y o u w a n t to be the master o f y o u r fate o r the victim o f y o u r circumstances?

Taking responsibility is taking control of those parts of your life that are within your control, while letting go of trying to control what is not.

It's e a s y t o b l a m e y o u r p a r e n t s , y o u r e m p l o y e r s , o r t h e g o v e r n m e n t for your problems, but until y o u d e c i d e to see yourself as responsible for y o u r situation t h e n y o u

11

PAUL

McKENNA

d o n ' t h a v e a n y p o w e r t o c h a n g e it. A l l g r e a t a c h i e v e r s k n o w that taking responsibility is the first step toward h a v i n g a successful arid fulfilling life. Dr. S t e p h e n R. C o v e y d e s c r i b e s it like this:

W h e n y o u p i c k u p o n e e n d o f t h e stick, y o u p i c k u p the other. T h e r e f o r e , if y o u d e c i d e to take responsibility f o r y o u r c i r c u m s t a n c e s , y o u a u t o m a t i c a l l y t a p into the power to c h a n g e them.

W h e n I share these ideas in my seminars, occasionally a p a r t i c i p a n t w i l l say t o m e , " D o e s t h a t m e a n t h a t i f I ' m w a l k i n g a c r o s s t h e r o a d a n d I g e t r u n o v e r , it's m y f a u l t ? " T h e answer is s i m p l e — t a k i n g responsibility is n o t the s a m e a s t a k i n g t h e b l a m e . Y o u a r e not r e s p o n s i b l e f o r t h e h a n d y o u h a v e b e e n dealt, b u t i t i s always u p t o y o u h o w y o u p l a y it. S t o p for a m o m e n t a n d i m a g i n e w h a t it w o u l d be like to take responsibility for your l i f e — t o have the p o w e r to m a k e c h o i c e s a n d c h a n g e s i n e v e r y a r e a o f y o u r life. T o be in control of your finances, your relationships, and your sense of well-being. To be at peace with those things that are n o t i n y o u r c o n t r o l a n d i n full c o m m a n d o f those that are. If y o u like what y o u are imagining, m a k e the decision r i g h t n o w to take responsibility f o r y o u r life at a w h o l e n e w level. T h e m o r e I w o r k with p e o p l e w h o achieve a s t o u n d i n g results, the m o r e I am i n s p i r e d by the w o r d s of W. H. Murray:

12

Change


Until o n e is committed,

t h e r e i s hesitancy,

the

c h a n c e t o d r a w b a c k , always i n e f f e c t i v e n e s s . C o n c e r n i n g all acts o f initiative ( a n d c r e a t i o n ) , t h e r e i s o n e e l e m e n t a r y t r u t h t h e i g n o r a n c e o f w h i c h kills countless ideas a n d splendid plans: that the m o m e n t o n e definitely c o m m i t s oneself,

then providence

m o v e s t o o . A w h o l e s t r e a m o f e v e n t s issues f r o m t h e d e c i s i o n , r a i s i n g i n o n e ' s f a v o r all m a n n e r o f u n f o r e s e e n i n c i d e n t s , m e e t i n g s a n d m a t e r i a l assistance, which no m a n could have dreamt would have c o m e his way.

A r e y o u committed? A r e y o u ready to take b a c k y o u r power? A r e you willing to m a k e

this b o o k i m p o r t a n t

e n o u g h t o follow t h e s i m p l e instructions that will c h a n g e y o u r life? E v e n i f y o u ' r e n o t c o n v i n c e d a t f i r s t , i t i s i m p o r tant to realize that y o u can s u c c e e d in spite of yourself! It all h a p p e n s o n e c h a p t e r at a time.

H O W T O U S E THIS B O O K T h i s b o o k i s laid o u t i n s e v e n c h a p t e r s — s e v e n k e y lessons t h a t will g u i d e y o u f r o m w h e r e v e r y o u a r e i n t h e direction of y o u r m o s t d e e p l y felt values a n d m o s t fondly h o p e d - f o r d r e a m . A s y o u p i c k u p t h i s b o o k e a c h day, t r y t o f i l l y o u r m i n d with positive e n e r g y a n d p r e p a r e y o u r b r a i n f o r t h e v a l u a b l e i n f o r m a t i o n y o u will b e r e c e i v i n g in that day's r e a d i n g .

13

PAUL

MCKENNA

I n j u s t s e v e n clays, y o u w i l l j o i n t h e r a n k s o f t h o s e p e o p l e w h o are so well p r o g r a m m e d to succeed that they c a n n o t h e l p b u t b e successful a t w h a t they d o . Y o u will b e a b l e t o h a n d l e w h a t e v e r c h a l l e n g e s life o f f e r s y o u w i t h a sense o f ease a n d c o n f i d e n c e . Y o u r j o u r n e y will b e g i n i n the next chapter, as you discover w h o you are b e c o m i n g a n d uncover your true potential to b e c o m e the person y o u r e a l l y w a n t to b e . . . .

14

DAY

1

W H O ARE YOU, REALLY? Discover your true potential and become the person you truly want to be

Imagine you

woke

up

one

day

in

a

land populated almost

entirely by giants. At first you would no doubt be terrified, and the deafening roar of loud noises and the uncomfortable sinking feeling when you fell would stick with you for a lifetime. After a time, you would realize that many of the giants seemed friendly,

and

that one giant in particular was taking a special interest in your safety and well-being. Then imagine that one day, for no reason whatsoever, the giant you had learned to trust completely yelled at you, threatened you, even hit you. How could you ever feel safe again in a land of giants'? There must be some laws of the land or rules that you could learn to help you survive. One day, you meet some other little people. like you,

They appear to be

and in their company, you instantly feel more secure.

Some of them claim to know the laws of the land, and share them with you.

Combined with the insight you've gained from observing

17

PAUL

McKENNA

the giants and listening to them teach you in their booming, godlike voices, you begin to figure out what you need to do and not do to stay safe. Do as you are told. It's easier to get along if you go along. Don't cry. Don't fight. Study hard. Get a job. Do as you are told.

Get

married. Have children to support you in your old age. Do as you are told. The list grows longer as your once tiny body grows larger (nurtured no doubt by giants), giants

the special food produced in the land of the

and eventually you come to realize that there are no left.

And then one day you wake up, and there is a tiny little creature staring up at you.

She has awakened in a land of giants.

And because you love her, you begin to teach her everything you've learned about how to survive in this land of giants. And so the cycle continues. . . .

18

THE P O W E R O F B R A I N W A S H I N G D u r i n g t h e K o r e a n civil w a r o f t h e l a t e 1 9 5 0 s , t h e C h i nese K o r e a n s successfully c o n v e r t e d a n u n p r e c e d e n t e d n u m b e r of American P O W s to the "religion" of c o m m u nism. T h e y didn't do it through threat of torture or even promise of r e w a r d — t h e y did it by simply c h a n g i n g the soldier's self-image. W h a t the C h i n e s e u n d e r s t o o d was that o u r b e h a v i o r i s a d i r e c t r e s u l t o f t h e p e r s o n w e believe-we a r e — o u r selfi m a g e . T h i n k of it like a l o o p — w e are constantly c o n firming to ourselves that we are the person we think we are, b u t the system we use to interpret o u r behavior a n d f e e d b a c k i s o u r o w n s e l f - i m a g e . It's a c a t c h - 2 2 . So the Chinese interrupted the loop. Y o u might think i t was a b i g task r e p r o g r a m m i n g m e n w h o h a d b e e n h i g h l y t r a i n e d o n l y to give their n a m e , rank, a n d serial n u m b e r , b u t t h e C h i n e s e d i d i t bit b y bit. D u r i n g an interrogation, prisoners were persuaded to m a k e o n e or two mildly anti-American or p r o - c o m m u n i s t statements. (For e x a m p l e , " T h e U n i t e d States i s n o t perf e c t , " or "In a c o m m u n i s t c o u n t r y , t h e r e is less u n e m ployment and

crime.")

Once

these

apparently minor

statements h a d b e e n extracted, the prisoner would then b e a s k e d t o d e f i n e exactly h o w the U n i t e d States was n o t p e r f e c t . W h e n h e was w o r n d o w n a n d weary, h e w o u l d t h e n b e a s k e d t o s i g n h i s n a m e t o t h e list o f r e a s o n s h e h a d c o m e u p with.

19

PAUL

McKENNA

L a t e r , t h e p r i s o n e r w o u l d b e m a d e t o r e a d h i s list i n a discussion

group

with

other

prisoners.

The

Chinese

w o u l d t h e n b r o a d c a s t h i s n a m e a n d list o f r e a s o n s d u r i n g a n a n t i - A m e r i c a n r a d i o b r o a d c a s t n o t o n l y t o his o w n c a m p b u t t o all t h e o t h e r N o r t h K o r e a n P O W c a m p s a n d the rest of the A m e r i c a n forces in S o u t h K o r e a as well. Suddenly, the prisoner f o u n d himself l a b e l e d a collaborator,

someone

who

participated

in

the

kind

of

behavior that h e l p e d the enemy. W h e n fellow prisoners a s k e d w h y h e h a d d o n e it, h e c o u l d n ' t c l a i m h e h a d b e e n t o r t u r e d . A f t e r all, h e h a d said t h o s e t h i n g s a n d s i g n e d his n a m e t o t h e m . Psychological research has shown that h u m a n beings can tolerate only a certain a m o u n t of discrepancy between their thoughts a n d their behavior. Like anyone unaware of t h e p o w e r o f his o w n self-image, t h e p r i s o n e r felt h e h a d to justify his actions in o r d e r to m a i n t a i n consistency w i t h h i s o w n i n t e r n a l s e n s e o f identity. H e w o u l d say t h a t w h a t he h a d said was true. In that m o m e n t his self-image c h a n g e d . H e n o w believed that h e was p r o - c o m m u n i s t , a n d his f e l l o w p r i s o n e r s r e i n f o r c e d h i s n e w i d e n t i t y b y treating h i m differently. T h e l o o p was c o m p l e t e . B e f o r e l o n g , his desire to act consistently with his n e w self-image w o u l d drive h i m to collaborate with the Chin e s e e v e n m o r e , t h e r e b y f u r t h e r r e i n f o r c i n g h i s n e w selfi m a g e until he no l o n g e r e v e n q u e s t i o n e d it was true.

20

Change Your Life in Seven Days

W H A T IS A S E L F - I M A G E ? Y o u r self-image is the way y o u see yourself in y o u r imagination.

The

reason y o u r self-image is so p o w e r f u l is

b e c a u s e y o u r b e h a v i o r will a l m o s t n e v e r d e v i a t e f r o m this i n t e r n a l m a p . It acts as a sort of self-fulfilling p r o p h e c y , telling y o u h o w to behave or p e r f o r m to act consistendy with the kind of p e r s o n y o u think y o u are. Yet m a n y p e o p l e d o n ' t even realize they have an i m a g e of themselves u n t i l they l o o k . W e ' v e all m e t p e o p l e w h o a r e a t t r a c t i v e b u t w h o t h i n k o f t h e m s e l v e s a s u g l y — t o o fat o r t o o thin o r t o o o l d o r t o o y o u n g . I f y o u truly believe y o u are unattractive, y o u will u n c o n s c i o u s l y s a b o t a g e a n y a t t e m p t s t o m a k e y o u r s e l f a p p e a r attractive. B e c a u s e y o u w o n ' t r e p r e s e n t yourself a t y o u r best, p e o p l e will inevitably f i n d y o u unattractive, a n d the p r o p h e c y is fulfilled. Studies have shown that an extraordinary n u m b e r of people

who

suddenly

receive

large

sums

of

money

t h r o u g h lottery wins or i n h e r i t a n c e a r e likely to lose it a g a i n almost as quickly.

Even people w h o earn their

m o n e y are likely to lose it if w h a t they are e a r n i n g is m o r e t h a n they believe they are worth. T h e y feel u n c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e e x t r a m o n e y , s o t h e y s p e n d it, l e n d it, o r f i n d s o m e o t h e r w a y t o g e t r i d o f it. C e l e b r i t i e s w h o s e star rises t o o h i g h t o o fast c a n also be b r o u g h t back to earth by the gravitational pull of a limited self-image.

In

fact,

so

m a n y celebrities suffer

f r o m self-destructive b e h a v i o r b r o u g h t o n b y feelings o f

21

PAUL

McKENNA

unworthiness that psychologists have created a n a m e for the pattern: the paradise syndrome. H o w y o u t h i n k o f y o u r s e l f a l s o a f f e c t s h o w other people feel about you. Because m o r e than 90 percent of what you communicate is unconscious, the people around you are continually r e s p o n d i n g to your body language, tone of voice, a n d the e m o t i o n a l signals y o u are transmitting. E v e n if the w o r d s y o u use s o u n d positive, y o u may well find yourself conveying o n e message verbally a n d a c o m pletely different message with y o u r b o d y language. Here's the point:

You are constantly letting other people know how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. In t h e b o o k The Mastery of Love, D o n W e seek the teeth that made the wounds. -Anonymous

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offered y o u a pizza b u t y o u ' d have to let t h e m a b u s e y o u f o r t h e rest o f y o u r life, y o u ' d l a u g h i n his face. B u t i f y o u w e r e living i n the street a n d h a d n ' t e a t e n for days a n d that s a m e p e r s o n m a d e y o u that s a m e o f f e r , y o u ' d b e l i k e l y t o c o n s i d e r it. W e s e t d e f o r w h a t w e f e e l w e a r e w o r t h — t h a t is, w e w i l l n e v e r a l l o w a n y o n e t o abuse us m o r e than we abuse ourselves.

22

Change


S U C C E S S A N D THE S E L F - I M A G E Unfortunately, fulfilling

while

prophecy

each

failure

of your

reinforces

negative

the

self-image,

selfyour

o u t e r successes rarely c h a n g e it for the better. No matter h o w m u c h y o u h a v e o n t h e o u t s i d e — b i g h o u s e , b i g car, m o n e y — i t w i l l n o t u l t i m a t e l y satisfy y o u i f y o u d o n ' t already feel g o o d a b o u t yourself on the inside. O v e r the years I have h a d the opportunity to m e e t a n d w o r k with a large n u m b e r of successful p e o p l e . I am c o n tinually struck by h o w m a n y of t h e m

create

an

outer

v e n e e r as a way of h i d i n g personal feelings of inadequacy. For example, they project any n u m b e r of things to compensate

for

a

lack

of inner

self-worth,

flouting

their

w e a l t h , status, i n t e l l e c t u a l a c h i e v e m e n t , p h y s i c a l s t r e n g t h , social c o n n e c t i o n s , or m o r a l "superiority" in an a t t e m p t to prove that they are n o t as worthless as they feel inside. S o m e t i m e s i t starts o u t w i t h a l i t t l e l i e o r a s m a l l a f f e c tation, b u t over the years it develops into an entire o u t e r persona that is the complete opposite of h o w they feel on the inside. T h e y continually feel like a fraud, fearing that at any m o m e n t they are g o i n g to be "found out" a n d it will all b e t a k e n a w a y f r o m t h e m . I n f a c t , m a n y p e o p l e w h o m we consider in o u r culture to have everything are s e c r e t self-haters. I call this t h e " b l i n g - b l i n g f a c t o r " — t h e b i g g e r the jewelry, the smaller the self-image. However, the bling-bling factor is by no means exclusively a p r o b l e m o f t h e r i c h a n d f a m o u s . I n f a c t , h a v i n g w o r k e d with p e o p l e f r o m all walks o f life, I h a v e c o m e t o

23

PAUL

McKENNA

t h e c o n c l u s i o n t h a t a l m o s t everybody i s t o s o m e e x t e n t hiding or compensating for a part of themselves that they d o n ' t like. F o r a l o n g time I felt that if o n l y I c o u l d be rich enough

or famous

enough,

or date

lots

of beautiful

w o m e n , t h e n I w o u l d feel b e t t e r a b o u t myself. I h a d b e e n a n e r d y kid, a n d my s o l u t i o n to t h a t was to affix a v e n e e r of success to myself so that no o n e

( i n c l u d i n g myself)

w o u l d n o t i c e h o w i n a d e q u a t e I really felt. Over

a

relatively

short

period

of time,

I

worked

incredibly h a r d at achieving a n d did very well. I b e c a m e f a m o u s , m a d e m o n e y , a n d c r e a t e d all t h e t r a p p i n g s o f a g l a m o r o u s life. M y T V s h o w s w e r e a h u g e hit; I h a d m o r e money than

ever

before

and a

beautiful

model

girl-

f r i e n d . R o c k stars, m o v i e stars, e v e n r o y a l t y w a n t e d m e t o work with them. H o w e v e r , I k e p t t h i n k i n g , "I h a v e e v e r y t h i n g I have e v e r w a n t e d — h o w c o m e I still f e e l e m p t y ? "

SO HOW IS YOUR SELF-IMAGE FORMED? We are born princes, and the civilizing process makes us into

While

some

of the

earliest

messages

y o u g o t f r o m y o u r family were n o d o u b t positive,

many

of

them

were

not.

W h e t h e r y o u w e r e t o l d y o u w e r e a "stu-

frogs. —Eric Berne

pid

child,"

"ungrateful,"

or

"clumsy,"

y o u s o a k e d u p all t h e n e g a t i v e s u g g e s -

24

Change


tions a l o n g with whatever positive r e i n f o r c e m e n t c a m e y o u r way. A r e c e n t s t u d y r e v e a l e d t h a t t h e a v e r a g e A m e r i c a n p a r e n t criticizes his o r h e r c h i l d r e n e i g h t t i m e s f o r every o n e time they praise t h e m . W h e n y o u start s c h o o l , s o m a n y p e o p l e are b i g g e r than you and seem to know more than you do. A whole n e w w o r l d o f p r o b l e m s c o m e s y o u r way. T e a c h e r s u n w i t tingly de-genius y o u at s c h o o l by their efforts to m o l d y o u . Y o u r s p o n t a n e o u s c h i l d l i k e q u a l i t y b e c o m e s dissipated in the race to shape y o u into an adult. J u s t a s y o u ' r e g e t t i n g t h e h a n g o f it, p u b e r t y a r r i v e s . H a i r grows, b o d y parts c h a n g e size, a n d j u s t b e i n g alive i s embarrassing. T h e n of course

there are

those people

a r o u n d y o u with low self-esteem w h o coverdy u n d e r m i n e y o u to m a k e themselves feel better. Research has shown that by the age of fourteen, 98 p e r c e n t of c h i l d r e n have a negative self-image. A n d it o n l y gets worse. Irish a u t h o r J. H. B r e n n a n describes it like this:

If there is o n e w o r d w h i c h ably describes adolescence, that word is confusion. A n d the confusion i s s o s t r o n g l y felt t h a t i t c a n easily i m p i n g e o n y o u r basic s e l f - i m a g e . It's a s o r r y p i c t u r e : s m a l l . . . h e l p l e s s . . . p o w e r l e s s . . . dirty . . . socially u n a c c e p t a b l e . . . i n f e r i o r . . . c o n f u s e d — a n d in p a r t i c u l a r l y b a d cases, u n l o v e d a n d u n w a n t e d a s w e l l . A n d s o r r y t h o u g h i t is, t h e i m a g e w a s l a r g e l y a c c u r a t e w h e n i t was laid d o w n — n o t by yourself, b u t by the actions

25

PAUL

McKENNA

a n d o p i n i o n s o f o t h e r s . A n d a t this s t a g e , N a t u r e p l a y e d y o u t h e dirtiest trick i m a g i n a b l e . Y o u g r e w u p , b u t y o u r self-image d i d n ' t . No w o n d e r there are so m a n y p e o p l e w h o aren't a c h i e v i n g w h a t t h e y w o u l d like i n t h e i r lives!

A s I r e l a t e d J . H . B r e n n a n ' s w o r d s t o m y o w n life, I w a s able to r e c o g n i z e that my f u n d a m e n t a l p r o b l e m was a s e n s e o f p o w e r l e s s n e s s — d e e p d o w n , I still s a w m y s e l f a s a nerdy, helpless child. W h a t e v e r sense of p o w e r I h a d in my life d i d n o t c o m e f r o m m y a u t h e n t i c s e l f b u t w a s d r a w n s o l e l y f r o m t h e r e f l e c t e d status I f e l t f r o m m y s u c c e s s f u l career, beautiful girlfriend, a n d financial resources. F r o m m e e t i n g a n d w o r k i n g with m a n y f a m o u s and successful p e o p l e I already k n e w h o w m u c h of w h a t they h a d a c h i e v e d was t o c o m p e n s a t e f o r their feelings o f inadequacy. It h a d never before occurred to me that I was o n e o f t h e m . O n c e I g o t really clear on the c o n t e n t of my negative self-image, I k n e w it was time to m a k e s o m e f u n d a m e n t a l changes. I h a d already m a d e the decision to take responsibility f o r m y l i f e , s o i t w a s o n l y a s m a l l s t e p f r o m t h e r e t o t a k e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r h o w I c h o s e t o s e e myself. I r e s o l v e d then a n d there to begin pursuing a n e w dream. I wanted to develop an approach to understanding and creating h u m a n e x c e l l e n c e with a h e a r t — n o t just success, b u t h a p p i n e s s a n d fulfillment as well. I d e t e r m i n e d to find a way to heal the n e r d within!

26


THE B E S T A D V I C E IN THE W O R L D In the mid-1980s, J o h n O p e l , t h e n c h a i r m a n of IBM, gave a talk to an a u d i e n c e of S t a n f o r d M B A s . In r e s p o n s e to a r e q u e s t for his advice a b o u t h o w newly m i n t e d M B A s s h o u l d e m b a r k o n their careers, h e said h e w o u l d share o n e o f his secrets f o r t r u e success. A s t h e e a g e r y o u n g minds in the audience leaned forward, O p e l whispered: " D o n ' t fake it!" He paused and read the body language in the room. H e t h e n said, with g r e a t passion: " N o , really, I m e a n i t ! " T h e r o o m e r u p t e d i n l a u g h t e r . H e w e n t o n t o say t h a t w e a r e all s m a r t e n o u g h a n d s m o o t h e n o u g h t o f a k e i t a n d g e t away with it for a while, b u t eventually o u r faith i n o u r s e l v e s w i l l b e u n d e r m i n e d , a n d w i t h i t o u r selftrust, self-respect, a n d self-esteem.

Here is today's key lesson: The reason you are not yet living the life of your dreams is that you are wasting so much of your time and energy hiding your negative self-image from the world.

W h e n all y o u r e n e r g y i s g o i n g i n t o m a i n t a i n i n g t h e illusion o f y o u r p r o j e c t e d self a n d h i d i n g t h e i m a g e o f y o u r f e a r e d s e l f f r o m t h e w o r l d , t h e still, s m a l l v o i c e o f t h e a u t h e n t i c s e l f — w h o y o u really a r e — c a n barely b e h e a r d .

27

PAUL

McKENNA

B u t as y o u practice the exercises in today's lesson, y o u will b e g i n to see y o u r s e l f in a n e w light. Y o u will l e a r n to turn u p the v o l u m e o n that i n n e r voice, t o trust y o u r g u t , and to begin to follow the promptings of your own heart. A n d w h e n y o u d o t h a t , y o u r life w i l l c h a n g e f o r e v e r !

TH5 THREE SELVES A t o u r c o r e i s o u r a u t h e n t i c s e l f — t h e reality o f w h o a n d w h a t we really are. B u t p i l e d o n t o p o f t h e r e a l u s — w i t h all o u r w e i r d ness, foibles, a n d u n a b a s h e d us-ness—is a layer of shame, f e a r , a n d g u i l t a b o u t t h e p e r s o n w e ' r e afraid w e a r e , o u r negative self-image. S o i n o r d e r t o m a k e s u r e p e o p l e still l i k e u s , a p p r o v e o f u s , a n d g i v e u s l o v e a n d m o n e y , w e p i l e y e t anotherlayer o n t o p o f o u r f e a r e d s e l f — t h e p e r s o n w e pretend t o b e . T h i s u p p e r m o s t l a y e r is, i f w e ' r e very, v e r y g o o d p r e t e n d e r s , all t h a t o t h e r s g e t t o s e e o f u s . I n f a c t , w e s t r u g g l e s o v a l i a n d y t o m a k e sure n o o n e sees t h a t layer o f liabilities w e a r e a f r a i d c h a r a c t e r i z e u s t h a t w e c o m p l e t e l y forget (sometimes for years at a time) that there's another, real s e l f u n d e r n e a t h all t h a t . W h e n I first s h a r e d this m o d e l w i t h o n e o f m y f r i e n d s , s h e t o l d m e , " O h , I g e t it! O u r r e a l s e l v e s a r e l i k e d i a m o n d s , a n d as we grow up they get covered up in a lot of horseshit, so we p u t nail polish on top of the horseshit to try a n d m a k e o u r s e l v e s m o r e a t t r a c t i v e t o t h e w o r l d . B u t if we s p e n t a little b i t of t i m e d i g g i n g away at t h e h o r s e -

28

Change


shit, p e o p l e w o u l d see that w e ' r e really d i a m o n d s a n d w e w o u l d n ' t n e e d any nail polish!" I p r o b a b l y w o u l d ' v e p u t it a bit m o r e like this: A s y o u b e g i n t o e x c a v a t e y o u r real self o u t f r o m u n d e r w h o y o u ' r e afraid y o u are a n d w h o y o u p r e t e n d t o b e (excavate the d i a m o n d out f r o m u n d e r the horse m a n u r e c o v e r e d i n nail p o l i s h ) , y o u g e t t o shift positions f r o m p a s s e n g e r t o driver. A n d w h e n y o u r real self i s d r i v i n g the b u s , y o u g e t t o h a v e m o r e e a s e , m o r e f u n , a n d m o r e you i n y o u r life!

GETTING TO K N O W YOUR SELVES Let's take a closer l o o k at the characteristics of t h e t h r e e s e l v e s as t h e y r e l a t e to y o u r o w n life. I will s h a r e w i t h y o u s o m e

The unexamined life is not worth living.

of my favorite questions for u n m a s k i n g

—Socrates

y o u r p r e t e n d self; u n c o v e r i n g y o u r n e g ative

self-image,

or feared

self;

and unleashing your

a u t h e n t i c self. R e m e m b e r , t h e r e a r e n o r i g h t a n s w e r s — e a c h q u e s t i o n is simply d e s i g n e d to raise y o u r a w a r e n e s s o f w h a t s t o p s y o u f r o m l i v i n g f r o m y o u r a u t h e n t i c self:

Your Pretend Self: Who you pretend to be Y o u r p r e t e n d self is the i m a g e y o u project into the world. O f t e n , this i m a g e i s b a s e d less o n h o w y o u r e a l l y a r e t h a n on covering up h o w y o u are afraid y o u are. A s k a n d answer the following questions:

29

PAUL

• •

McKENNA

H o w do y o u like to be seen? Which

aspects

of your personality do y o u h o p e

p e o p l e n o t i c e first? •

What do you most want everyone to know about you?

•

If y o u r life w e r e t r y i n g to p r o v e s o m e t h i n g a b o u t you, what would it be?

Your Negative Self-image: Who you are afraid you are I f s o m e o n e calls y o u a n a m e t h a t y o u d o n ' t identify w i t h (for e x a m p l e , ' Y o u dirty g r e e n - s k i n n e d M a r t i a n ! " ) , t h e r e is rarely an e m o t i o n a l c h a r g e attached.

If something

u p s e t s u s , it's u s u a l l y b e c a u s e a t s o m e l e v e l w e b e l i e v e i t m i g h t b e true. P e o p l e o f t e n totally d e n y that t h e n e g a t i v e traits t h e y a r e i d e n t i f y i n g h a v e a n y t h i n g t o d o w i t h t h e m . W h e n t h e y ' v e h a d a c h a n c e t o t h i n k a b o u t it, t h e y o f t e n c o m e b a c k w i t h a s h o c k e d r e c o g n i t i o n that this is in fact exactly w h a t t h e y ' v e f e a r e d has b e e n t r u e all a l o n g . O n e fact will m a k e it easier for y o u to take an h o n e s t l o o k at yourself:

Any "negative" traits you identify are not really yours—they

belong

to

your

negative

self-

image and were programmed into you when you were a child. By identifying them honesdy, you are about to let them go!

It c a n be h a r d to l o o k directly at y o u r o w n worst fears a b o u t w h o a n d w h a t y o u a r e — a f t e r all, y o u ' v e p r o b a b l y

30

Change

Your Life in

Seven Days

s p e n t a l a r g e p o r t i o n o f y o u r life a v o i d i n g d o i n g j u s t t h a t . For that reason, most of these questions point to things that reveal y o u r negative self-image rather than y o u r nega t i v e s e l f - i m a g e itself:

•

W h a t ' s t h e o p p o s i t e o f e a c h o f t h e traits o f y o u r p r e t e n d self?

•

W h i c h of y o u r secrets will o n l y be d i s c o v e r e d after you die?

•

W h o is y o u r least favorite p e r s o n a n d why?

Most perception is p r o j e c t i o n — w e

m o s t dislike in

others what we fear can be f o u n d in ourselves!

Your Authentic Self: Who you truly are B y i d e n t i f y i n g t h e traits a n d c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f y o u r t h r e e selves, y o u a r e f r e e i n g y o u r s e l f u p t o live m o r e a n d m o r e f r o m the h e a r t o f w h o y o u really a r e — y o u r powerful, l o v i n g , u n s t o p p a b l e a u t h e n t i c self. H e r e ' s a g u i d e l i n e to k n o w w h e t h e r y o u a r e identifyi n g a trait o r characteristic o f y o u r a u t h e n t i c self o r i f y o u are c a u g h t up in the trap of y o u r negative self-image:

Who you really are always feels like coming home. •

W h o are you w h e n nobody's watching?

•

I f y o u f e l t totally s a f e , w h a t w o u l d y o u d o d i f f e r e n d y ?

•

W h o w o u l d y o u be if y o u lived b e y o n d fear?

31

PAUL

McKENNA

REPROGRAMMING YOUR SELF-IMAGE In my e x p e r i e n c e , traditional positive t h i n k i n g is n o t very effective.

Standing in front of the

mirror saying,

"Day by day in every way I am getting better a n d better" d o e s n ' t really w o r k unless y o u are able to actually create a feeling of getting better at the same time. For example, if you were to stop reading for a m o m e n t a n d tell y o u r h e a r t b e a t t o s p e e d u p , i t p r o b a b l y w o u l d n ' t w o r k . B u t if y o u vividly i m a g i n e w a l k i n g d o w n a d a r k alley late at night, h e a r i n g footsteps b e h i n d y o u g e t t i n g closer a n d closer, c h a n c e s a r e y o u r h e a r t b e a t will q u i c k e n . This is because:

The key programs of human behavior are habit and imagination, and they are far more powerful than logic and willpower will ever be. T h e fact i s that y o u r b o d y r e s p o n d s far m o r e readily to the vivid use of i m a g i n a t i o n t h a n to a simple c o m m a n d . That's w h y the way we see ourselves in o u r imagin a t i o n i s c r u c i a l t o t h e w a y w e live o u r lives. In the early 1970s a plastic s u r g e o n n a m e d M a x w e l l Maltz noticed that altering the physical appearance of his patients t h r o u g h s u r g e r y o f t e n c r e a t e d a r e m a r k a b l e increase in confidence a n d sometimes even a complete change

in personality.

However,

some

o f his patients

e x p e r i e n c e d no psychological benefits, no matter h o w spectacular the physical changes. Maltz

concluded

that

cosmetic 32

correction

to

the

Change


e x t e r n a l a p p e a r a n c e o f a p a t i e n t d o e s n ' t w o r k w h e n his o r h e r i n t e r n a l s e l f - i m a g e i s p o o r , or, a s h e p u t it, w h e n he or she is "scarred on the inside." So he taught those clients a simple visualization techn i q u e that created a dramatic c h a n g e in their self-image. T o his delight a n d surprise, i t did a s m u c h — o r m o r e — f o r his patients as the actual surgery. By t e a c h i n g his patients w h o h a d a negative self-image to repeatedly imagine themselves as they ideally wanted to be, he noticed that they b e c a m e happier a n d m o r e at p e a c e with themselves in a m a t t e r of days.

Small Change, Big Results One

of the

most profound

can

quickly

and easily

strated

in

a

study

examples

reprogram

by

small

change

our self-image was

of how

demon-

social psychologist

a

Steven J.

Sherman.

He set out to see if he could increase the number of volunteers in

a given

American

area Cancer

He contacted a

who

would go

door-to-door collecting for the

Society. number of residents

explaining that he was doing a survey, predict

what

three hours wanted

to

they

would

say

collecting for a see themselves

as

said

they

would

volunteer.

A

few

days

later,

Cancer Society

a

phenomenal

the area by phone,

and he asked them to to go cause.

uncharitable,

door-to-door for Because

nearly

representative from

called the same people.

mitting themselves A

if asked

very good

in

33

increase

one

all of them

the

American

The result of them com-

during the survey ? 700 percent

no

in

volunteers!

^0 Your Life in Seven Days

Your Self-image for Success ôgramff W

^ e n t s to relax and breathe deeply.

1

a few rO .a* As,, /-'

c relax, it becomes easier and . . your imagination.

^ er to u n l ^

^ o t h e r you standing in front of

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a K e

6

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n-iost magnificent you that you ' 'fnagin^

w

Voi ' This i s t H ^ / ^ >u

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s e l f

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to feel totally happy with your

7

fy 4^ o o k at the way that the authentic a fnome^ / Mb* ^ t h e s , smiles, walks, and talks. P

1

V
,

^> authentic you speaks to others,

f authentic you handles problems

'

*at how t f howth£? °es for g

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8 d9

, ep into ^ f.5

rid synthesize with your authentic >

t h e eyes of your authentic self, r «. , j ears of your authentic self, and

st

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feels c self!

' Nsl

5 f

your D r o c i r ^

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5

0

9

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0

d

t 0

l i f S

^

V 0 U r

^ ramming session by taking a

j

4

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w ^ ^daydre^d

about how your life will be

' y° ju can imagine yourself living i v e

m

o

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a

n

d

m o r e f r o m

u r

hi* *J ^ r i y number of real situations " self. Y o i > V . ... • <^ p r e s e n t , and future. ly in an .C* c

Ca|

35

PAUL

McKENNA

T h e r e is a story that w h e n M i c h e l a n g e l o was a s k e d h o w he carved such beautiful angels, he replied, "I see the angel in the stone, a n d I chip away at everything a r o u n d it."

•

R e p r o g r a m m i n g y o u r self-image is a lot like t h a t — less a f u n c t i o n o f t r y i n g t o b e m o r e like w h o y o u w i s h y o u were and m o r e of recognizing the magnificence of w h o y o u really are. i

R e m e m b e r , o u r possibilities a t a n y m o m e n t i n life a r e c o m p u t e d n o t f r o m h o w we like to think of ourselves b u t f r o m w h o m w e truly believe w e are. S o the m o r e y o u align y o u r self-image with t h e reality of y o u r a u t h e n t i c self, t h e r i c h e r a n d m o r e r e w a r d i n g y o u r life w i l l b e . T h i s is n o t a n e w c o n c e p t a n d is c o n t a i n e d in every spiritual system of t e a c h i n g on the planet. W h a t follows is a v a r i a t i o n on Dr. Maltz's o r i g i n a l visualization, u p d a t e d to i n c o r p o r a t e the latest findings in brain science a n d self-image psychology. W h e n I g u i d e my clients a n d the participants in my trainings t h r o u g h it, t h e y o f t e n r e p o r t l i f e - c h a n g i n g i n s i g h t s a n d f i n d t h e m selves u n a b l e t o view themselves o r the w o r l d i n t h e s a m e way afterwards. By r e p e a t i n g this s i m p l e e x e r c i s e at least o n c e a d a y every day f o r a w e e k , y o u will allow y o u r self-image to easily i n t e g r a t e w i t h y o u r a u t h e n t i c self.

34

Change


Reprogramming Your Self-image for Success 1. Take a few moments to relax and breathe deeply. As your muscles relax, it b e c o m e s easier and easier to unleash your imagination. 2. Now, imagine another you standing in front of you. This is the most magnificent you that you can imagine—your authentic self. 3. Take a moment to feel totally happy with your authentic self. Look at the way that the authentic you stands, breathes, smiles, walks, and talks. Look at how the authentic you speaks to others. Notice how the authentic you handles problems and g o e s for goals. 4. Now, step into and synthesize with your authentic self. S e e through the eyes of your authentic self, hear through the ears of your authentic self, and feel how it feels so g o o d to live life as your authentic self! 5. Finish your programming session by taking a minute to daydream about how your life will be different as you live more and more from your authentic self. You can imagine yourself living authentically in any number of real situations from your past, present, and future.

35

PAUL

McKENNA

Our deepest fear is

not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is

that

we are powerful beyond

measure.

It's our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented Actually,

and fabulous ? who are you not to be?

You are a child of the universe. Your playing small There so

is

that

nothing

doesn't serve

the

enlightening

about

other people

won't feel

world. shrinking,

insecure

around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of the universe that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it is in everyone. And as we let our own other people permission

light shine, to

do

we unconsciously give

the same.

And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence

automatically

liberates

others. —Marianne Williamson

SOME CLOSING THOUGHTS A s y o u b e g i n t o l i v e t h e t r u t h o f y o u r a u t h e n t i c self, i t w i l l b e c o m e easier a n d easier to act consistently with that truth. T h i s snowball effect (the larger it gets, the faster it goes, the larger it gets, e t c . ) — w h a t p h i l o s o p h e r R. Buckm i n s t e r F u l l e r c a l l e d " p r e c e s s i o n " — i s w h a t will allow y o u to m a k e dramatic c h a n g e s in only seven days. O n c e we m a k e a c o m m i t m e n t , the rest of us aligns

36


w i t h it. R a t h e r t h a n a t t a c h y e t a n o t h e r i m a g e o r l i m i t e d p e r s o n a l i t y o n t o y o u r d e f i n i t i o n o f self, t h e w o r k y o u h a v e d o n e t o d a y will a l l o w y o u r g r e a t e r p o s s i b i l i t i e s a n d p o t e n tial t o c o m e t h r o u g h . I p e r s o n a l l y b e l i e v e t h a t i f t h e r e i s a r e a s o n o r p u r p o s e t o life, this m a y w e l l b e a k e y p a r t o f it. All truly successful p e o p l e a c c e p t their b r i l l i a n c e — t h e y a r e n o t e m b a r r a s s e d b y it. W h i l e a l i g n i n g y o u r selfi m a g e with the reality of y o u r a u t h e n t i c self is n o t the answer respond

to

all

o f life's

t o y o u r life

problems, more

it will

help

you

to

resourcefully. As w h o y o u

think y o u are a n d w h o y o u really are b e c o m e m o r e a n d m o r e a l i g n e d , y o u will b e g i n t o f e e l truly g o o d a b o u t y o u r s e l f , e v e n b e f o r e y o u r life c h a n g e s o n t h e o u t s i d e . A n d a s I've f o u n d o u t f o r myself, t h e b e t t e r y o u feel o n t h e i n s i d e , t h e b e t t e r y o u r life w i l l b e c o m e . I want y o u to k n o w y o u are u n i q u e — t h e r e is no o n e w h o h a s e v e r l i v e d w h o c a n d o t h i n g s exactly t h e w a y y o u do t h e m . Y o u h a v e a special gift of u n i q u e n e s s to b r i n g to t h e w o r l d . O v e r t h e n e x t s i x d a y s , w e ' l l i d e n t i f y t h a t gift a n d b e g i n t o w o r k o n ways y o u c a n share i t with the w o r l d ! Until tomorrow, Paul

PS.

McKenna

Would you

like to be able to feel just about whatever you

want whenever you want

to feel it?

Tomorrow, I'm going to share with you the secrets of how to master your emotions and run your own brain,

and you 're going to

learn how your state of mind and body, your emotions, everything in your life. . . .

37

affects

DAY

2

A USER'S MANUAL FOR Y O U R BRAIN Master your emotions and release your full potential

PAUL

McKENNA

Before you begin today, listen to the hypnotic trance (www.paulmckenna.com/trance), then take a few moments to go through the "Reprogramming Your Self-Image" exercise from day one: 1. Relax and breathe deeply. As your muscles relax, it b e c o m e s easier and easier to unleash your imagination. 2. Now, imagine another you standing in front of you. This is the most magnificent you that you can imagine—your authentic self. 3. Take a moment to feel totally happy with your authentic self. Look at the way that the authentic you stands, breathes, smiles, walks, and talks. Look at how the authentic you speaks to others. Notice how the authentic you handles problems and g o e s for goals. 4. Now, step into and synthesize with your authentic self. S e e through the eyes of your authentic self, hear through the ears of your authentic self, and feel how it feels so g o o d to live life as your authentic self! 5. Finish your programming session by taking a minute to daydream about how your life will be different as you live more and more from your authentic self. You can imagine yourself living authentically in any number of real situations from your past, present and future.

40

I wo monks were wandering through the forest when they came upon a beautiful courtesan standing on

the banks of a flooded

stream. Because they had sworn a vow of chastity,

the younger

monk ignored the woman and crossed the stream quickly. Realizing that the beautiful woman could not safely cross the stream by herself, the older monk gathered her up in his arms and carried her across the stream. Once they had reached the other side, he gently returned her to the ground. She smiled her thanks, and the two monks continued on their way. The young monk quietly seethed as he replayed the incident again and again in his mind. How

could he? the young monk thought angrily

to himself.

Does our vow of chastity mean nothing to him? The more the young monk

thought about what he had seen,

the angrier he

became, and the argument in his head grew louder: Why, had I done such a thing I would've been thrown out of our order.

41

This is

PAUL

McKENNA

disgusting. I may not have been a monk as long as he has, but I know right from wrong. He looked over at the older monk to see if he at least was showing remorse for what he had done, but the man seemed as serene and peaceful as ever. Finally,

the young monk could stand it no longer.

"How could you do that?" he demanded.

"How could you even

look at that woman, let alone pick her up and carry her? Do you not remember your vow of chastity?" The older monk looked surprised,

then smiled with great kind-

ness in his eyes. "I am no longer carrying her, brother. Are you?"

42

THE 1 , 0 0 0 - Y A R D W A L K H a v e y o u ever w o n d e r e d h o w s o m e athletes or stage perf o r m e r s s u d d e n l y s e e m t o c o m e alive w h e n i t i s t h e i r time to perform? W h e n Elvis Presley a r r i v e d a t a n e w c o n c e r t v e n u e , h e w o u l d h a v e h i s d r e s s i n g - r o o m t r a i l e r p l a c e d e x a c t l y 1,000 yards away f r o m t h e a r e n a . N o m a t t e r w h a t state o f m i n d h e was i n w h e n h e left his dressing r o o m , h e w o u l d use t h e 1,000-yard w a l k t o g u i d e h i m s e l f i n t o a s t a t e o f c o n f i d e n c e a n d charisma that was so tangible p e o p l e w o u l d sense his p r e s e n c e a n d b e g i n c h e e r i n g e v e n b e f o r e h e entered the building. Today, I am g o i n g to share with y o u the secrets of mast e r i n g y o u r e m o t i o n s , a n d g u i d e y o u t h r o u g h a series of exercises that will e n a b l e y o u t o b r i n g y o u r m o s t confid e n t , c h a r i s m a t i c self t o any e n d e a v o r . Y o u will l e a r n t h e basic b u i l d i n g b l o c k s o f any e m o t i o n a l state, a n d p r a c t i c e feeling the way y o u w a n t to feel in an instant. B e f o r e w e ' r e d o n e , I'll e v e n s h a r e w i t h y o u t h e t e c h n i q u e t h a t h e l p e d m e t u r n m y life a r o u n d w h e n I was f i r s t setting o u t o n t h e p a t h o f self-mastery. But in order to master our emotions, we must first begin

by understanding what they are

operate.

43

a n d h o w they

PAUL

McKENNA

W H A T IS AN EMOTIONAL STATE? H a v e y o u ever witnessed the same event as s o m e o n e else a n d f o u n d o u t l a t e r t h a t h e o r s h e h a d a c o m p l e t e l y different experience of it f r o m you? H o w is it possible that you could both be in the same place at the same time a n d yet experience things so differendy? O r take the e x a m p l e o f h e i g h t s — s o m e p e o p l e w o n ' t e v e n c l i m b a l a d d e r , w h i l e o t h e r s d e l i g h t i n c l i m b i n g tall mountains or throwing themselves out of airplanes from 30,000 f e e t a b o v e t h e e a r t h . T h e d i f f e r e n c e i n b o t h cases arises f r o m t h e e m o tional states y o u a r e i n a t t h e t i m e . L o v e , a n g e r , confid e n c e , fear, a p a t h y , a n d c u r i o s i t y a r e a l l e m o t i o n a l s t a t e s . We are constantly g o i n g into a n d o u t of these different states o f b e i n g all d a y l o n g , a n d e a c h o f t h e m i s a s individual and unique to us as our own fingerprint. A n e m o t i o n a l state c a n b e d e f i n e d a s t h e s u m total o f all t h e n e u r o l o g i c a l p r o c e s s e s o c c u r r i n g w i t h i n s o m e b o d y at any o n e time. A simpler way of thinking a b o u t it i s that a n e m o t i o n a l state i s t h e m o o d y o u are i n a t a n y given m o m e n t . We've

all

experienced

many

unresourceful

states,

s u c h as d e p r e s s i o n , a n g e r , a n d fear. Similarly, w e ' v e all h a d times w h e n we felt filled with c o n f i d e n c e , optimism, joy, a n d determination. This is important because:

All human behavior is the result of state.

44

Change


INTERNAL REPRESENTATIONS The pictures and sounds we make in our mind and how we make them

STATE

••BEHAVIOR

PHYSIOLOGY Posture, muscular tension, breathing, etc.

45

PAUL

McKENNA

A n y t h i n g e x c e l l e n t t h a t y o u h a v e e v e r d o n e o r witn e s s e d o t h e r s d o i s t h e result o f t h e e m o t i o n a l state y o u or they were in at the time. Today, you'll learn h o w to p r o g r a m y o u r m i n d to e x p e r i e n c e m o r e o f t h e s t a t e s y o u w a n t i n m o r e o f t h e situations you want to experience them!

WHERE DO FEELINGS COME FROM? A t first g l a n c e , i t a p p e a r s t h a t h o w w e f e e l i n a n y m o m e n t is the result of events outside of us. S o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s in the world a n d we react to it by c h a n g i n g emotional states automatically. F o r e x a m p l e , i m a g i n e s o m e o n e y o u are e x t r e m e l y attracted to. N o w i m a g i n e that p e r s o n has j u s t w a l k e d into the r o o m b e h i n d you. If y o u ' r e like m o s t p e o p l e , y o u r state j u s t c h a n g e d ! I n fact, m o s t o f u s are c o m p l e t e l y u n a w a r e o f h o w w e are m a k i n g o u r feelings f r o m m o m e n t to m o m e n t . In reality, t h e r e i s a n i n t e r n a l p r o c e s s t h a t t a k e s p l a c e i n t h e g a p b e t w e e n t h e e v e n t a n d y o u r r e a c t i o n t o it.

Physiology O n e way i n w h i c h w e are c o n s t a n t l y affecting o u r state i s t h r o u g h the way we use o u r body. C h a n g e s in o u r post u r e , b r e a t h i n g , m u s c l e t e n s i o n , a n d f a c i a l e x p r e s s i o n all a f f e c t o u r f e e l i n g s a n d b e h a v i o r . I f y o u u s e y o u r b o d y differently, y o u will h a v e a c o m p l e t e l y different e x p e r i e n c e o f b e i n g alive.

46


For e x a m p l e , take a few m o m e n t s n o w to think of a time w h e n y o u felt particularly n e r v o u s — p e r h a p s b e f o r e s t a n d i n g u p t o g i v e a p r e s e n t a t i o n a t w o r k , o r b e f o r e aski n g a particularly difficult q u e s t i o n of s o m e o n e y o u really care about.

STOP! W h e r e v e r y o u are, p l a n t y o u r f e e t firmly o n t h e floor, p u t y o u r s h o u l d e r s b a c k , p u t a b i g silly g r i n o n y o u r f a c e , a n d t a k e a d e e p b r e a t h . N o w try t o t h i n k o f t h a t u n p l e a s ant situation without c h a n g i n g your posture. K e e p your s h o u l d e r s b a c k a n d y o u r f e e t flat, a n d k e e p s m i l i n g ! If you've

d o n e what I just asked, you've

probably

a l r e a d y n o t i c e d t h a t e i t h e r y o u r f e e l i n g s a b o u t t h e situation have c h a n g e d or you're no longer able to think a b o u t i t i n t h e s a m e way. O u r muscular tension or relaxation, breathing, and b o d y p o s t u r e all i n f l u e n c e

o u r states.

If your body is

tense, it is p r o d u c i n g different chemicals than w h e n it is r e l a x e d , s o o f c o u r s e y o u w i l l f e e l d i f f e r e n t a n d t h i n k different thoughts.

Internal Representations T h e other key determining factor in h o w we feel from m o m e n t to m o m e n t is the pictures we make in our imagi n a t i o n a n d t h e way w e talk t o ourselves i n o u r h e a d . W e r e f e r to

these i m a g e s a n d s o u n d s as

internal representa-

tions, a n d t h e y a r e j u s t t h a t — r e p r e s e n t a t i o n s o f reality, n o t r e a l i t y itself.

47

PAUL

MCKENNA

Y o u r i n t e r n a l r e p r e s e n t a t i o n s o f realWe don't see things 6

a s they are, but rather as we are.

lty a r e u n i q u e t o y o u — y o u r o w n p e r ^ , 1j u ^ are your own m a p of the world, but as

s

Q

n

a

l

Q f

p

e

r

c

e

i

v

i

n

g

t

h

e

w

o

r

l

d

X

h

e

y

c A

—Anais A m

a

n

y

m

a

p

filled with

;

a

r

e

incomplete and

generalizations,

deletions,

a n d distortions. T h i s is the reason why two p e o p l e can witness the e x a c t s a m e e v e n t a n d yet e x p e r i e n c e i t c o m p l e t e l y differently. I n t h e w o r d s o f t h e f a t h e r o f m o d e r n linguistics, C o u n t A l f r e d Korzybski, "the m a p is n o t the territory."

THE M O V I E S O F Y O U R MIND I n m y e x p e r i e n c e , everybody h a s t h e a b i l i t y t o v i s u a l i z e . T o p r o v e this to yourself, a n s w e r t h e f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n s : 1 . W h a t d o e s y o u r f r o n t d o o r l o o k like? W h a t c o l o r i s it? W h i c h s i d e i s t h e h a n d l e o n ? 2. W h a t was the first car y o u ever drove? W h a t did it l o o k l i k e ? W h a t c o l o r w a s it? In order to answer these questions, y o u had to go into y o u r imagination a n d m a k e pictures. Now, for 99 p e r c e n t o f p e o p l e , t h e s e i m a g e s will n o t b e " p h o t o - q u a l i t y " — a n d that's a g o o d t h i n g . If y o u r i n t e r n a l i m a g e s w e r e as realistic a s w h a t y o u s e e i n t h e r e a l w o r l d , y o u w o u l d n ' t b e a b l e t o tell t h e d i f f e r e n c e ! S i m i l a r l y , w e all h a v e t h e a b i l i t y t o t a l k t o o u r s e l v e s

48

Change


a n d m a k e s o u n d s i n o u r m i n d . S o m e t i m e s this ability c a n uplift us. F o r e x a m p l e , think of a s o n g y o u like or y o u r favorite

piece

of music.

R e m e m b e r the

sound of the

o c e a n , or h e a r the voice of s o m e o n e y o u love offering y o u s o m e h o n e s t praise. On the other hand, have y o u ever had an a r g u m e n t w i t h s o m e o n e a n d e v e n h o u r s l a t e r y o u k e e p r e p l a y i n g all the nasty things they said to y o u that m a k e y o u feel bad? L e t ' s do an e x p e r i m e n t . . . . I m a g i n e y o u h a v e b e e n a s k e d to go to a party. M a k e a picture of yourself standing awkwardly in

the kitchen.

T h e r e is n o b o d y a r o u n d y o u that y o u know. Y o u r least favorite music is playing m u c h too loudly in the background. On a scale f r o m 1 to 10, h o w m u c h do y o u w a n t to go to the party? N o w imagine yourself standing confidently and comfortably, s u r r o u n d e d b y lots o f f u n p e o p l e w h o are really interested in spending time with you. In the background, y o u h e a r y o u r favorite piece o f music c o m e o n a t j u s t the right volume. On a scale f r o m 1 to 10, h o w a p p e a l i n g is the party now? I f y o u e x p e r i e n c e d a n y d i f f e r e n c e a t all b e t w e e n t h o s e two scenarios, y o u c a n r e c o g n i z e h o w the quality of y o u r i n t e r n a l r e p r e s e n t a t i o n s will l a r g e l y d e t e r m i n e t h e q u a l i t y o f y o u r life. Y e t t o o m a n y p e o p l e e x e r t m o r e c o n t r o l o v e r the movies they go to on the outside than the movies they play in their m i n d . That's an e x a m p l e of your brain runn i n g y o u instead of you r u n n i n g your brain.

49

PAUL

McKENNA

R e c e n t l y I w o r k e d w i t h a r o c k star w h o h a d a f e a r of flying. W h e n we s t e p p e d b a c k a n d t o o k a l o o k at the s e q u e n c e o f pictures a n d s o u n d s that h e m a d e i n his m i n d , i t was easy t o u n d e r s t a n d h o w h e c o u l d c r e a t e s u c h intense fear in j u s t a few seconds. As soon as he even t h o u g h t about g o i n g to the airport, h e ' d m a k e a g r e a t b i g p i c t u r e o f t h e c h e c k - i n d e s k a n d say to himself, "This is g o i n g to be bad!" T h e n he w o u l d i m a g i n e b o a r d i n g t h e p l a n e . A s t h e d o o r c l o s e d , h e ' d say t o h i m s e l f , " I c a n ' t g e t o u t ! " H e ' d i m a g i n e t h e c a b i n filling with smoke, everyone screaming, the plane crashing to the g r o u n d in a ball of flames, a n d t h e n his litde d a u g h ter sitting at h o m e saying, " W h e r e ' s D a d d y ? " Now, I d o n ' t k n o w a b o u t you, b u t watching that m e n tal h o r r o r m o v i e e v e n o n c e i s e n o u g h t o m a k e a n y o n e scared, a n d he was p l a y i n g it over a n d o v e r a g a i n in his m i n d . E a c h t i m e h e w a t c h e d it, h e f e l t w o r s e , a n d t h e w o r s e h e felt, t h e m o r e horrific h e m a d e t h e m o v i e ! Now, n o t only do I n o t have a fear of flying, I actually e n j o y flying. W h e n I k n o w I am t a k i n g a flight, I t h i n k a b o u t w h e r e I a m g o i n g a n d w h o I will s e e . I say t o m y s e l f , "This is going to be good!" in an excited voice. T h e n I i m a g i n e myself sitting b a c k a n d r e l a x i n g , with n o telep h o n e ringing, a nice meal, a fun movie, and, of course, beautiful female flight attendants. O n c e t h e r o c k star l e a r n e d t o c h a n g e t h e m o v i e i n his m i n d , h e b e g a n t o feel b e t t e r a b o u t flying. S o o n , h e h a d r e c o n d i t i o n e d himself to the point w h e r e he was actually l o o k i n g f o r w a r d t o his n e x t tour. T h e m o r a l o f the story is t h i s :

50

Change


As you learn to change the pictures and sounds in your mind, you too will get conscious control of your life. L e t ' s try a n o t h e r e x p e r i m e n t . T h i n k of s o m e o n e w h o annoys y o u or w h o m you find i t stressful t o t h i n k a b o u t o r s p e n d t i m e with. R e m e m b e r his or h e r face. N o w as y o u l o o k at his or h e r face in y o u r i m a g i n a t i o n , ask yourself: •

Is it a c o l o r i m a g e or is it b l a c k a n d white?

•

A r e y o u m a k i n g it to

t h e left,

to the right,

or

directly in front of you? •

Is it b i g or small?

•

L i g h t or dark?

•

M o v i n g o r still?

N o w let's play with t h e way y o u are currently repres e n t i n g that p e r s o n in y o u r m i n d . Try o u t e a c h of these changes in turn and notice what happens:

Movies of Your Mind •

If your representation of that person is moving, freeze-frame the picture so it is still.

•

If the image has any color in it, drain it all away until it looks like an old black-and-white photograph.

• Shrink the image until it's tiny. •

Move the location of the image so it's farther away.

51

PAUL

•

MCKENNA

Give the person a clown's nose, pink hair, and Mickey Mouse ears.

•

Imagine the sound of the person's voice. Then alter it by giving him or her a d e e p , sexy voice. C h a n g e it again until he or she sounds like a squeaky little mouse.

By m a k i n g these changes in your internal representations, y o u are r e p r o g r a m m i n g the way y o u feel. T h i n k of the person again .. . n o w h o w do y o u feel a b o u t h i m or h e r ? It's v e r y l i k e l y t h a t p e r s o n n o l o n g e r t r i g g e r s t h e stressful r e s p o n s e . N o t o n l y d o y o u a l m o s t c e r t a i n l y f e e l d i f f e r e n t l y n o w , b u t n e x t t i m e y o u m e e t this p e r s o n y o u ' l l f e e l d i f f e r e n d y , w h i c h m e a n s t h e p e r s o n w i l l r e s p o n d differently to you, c h a n g i n g the dynamic of your relationship for t h e better. T h e g e n e r a l p r i n c i p l e that w e a r e w o r k i n g with i s this: Images that are bigger, brighter, and bolder have greater emotional intensity than those that are duller, dimmer, and farther away. N e x t , let's f i n d o u t w h a t a n a m a z i n g d i f f e r e n c e i t m a k e s to be inside a n d outside of a memory. Here's another techn i q u e for r u n n i n g your brain, called dissociation: 1 . T h i n k o f a mildly stressful o r u n c o m f o r t a b l e m e m o r y . 2. As you notice what image or images come to mind, step o u t of yourself so y o u c a n see the b a c k of y o u r h e a d .

52

Change


Pull b a c k f r o m that i m a g e a n d m e n t a l l y m o v e a s far away f r o m t h e i m a g e a s y o u c a n . S t e p all t h e w a y o u t o f t h e p i c t u r e s o y o u c a n s e e y o u r s e l f w a y o v e r t h e r e , still i n it. T h i s process of disassociating r e d u c e s the intensity of the feelings the i m a g e was creating. Now, let's do it the o t h e r way r o u n d a n d step into a positive picture. T h i s is called association: 1 . T h i n k o f a t i m e i n y o u r life w h e n y o u felt g r e a t , a n d o n c e again allow an image to c o m e to mind. 2. This time, step into that image so you're seeing t h r o u g h y o u r o w n eyes, h e a r i n g t h r o u g h y o u r ears, a n d feeling great in y o u r body. 3. M a k e the i m a g e bigger, the sounds louder, a n d the feelings stronger. It's e a s y t o r e d u c e t h e intensity, s t e p o u t , a n d m o v e b a c k , o r t o i n c r e a s e t h e intensity, step in, a n d m a k e i t bigger. R e c e n t l y I was at a d i n n e r party a n d sat n e x t to a w o m a n w h o was telling m e h o w s h e was h a v i n g t r o u b l e sleeping since she h a d b e e n involved in a motorcycle a c c i d e n t . W h e n I a s k e d h e r t o r e m e m b e r w h a t was m a k ing h e r feel so bad, she described the h o r r o r of the crash s c e n e as if it was h a p p e n i n g to h e r all o v e r a g a i n . Clearly, she was r e m e m b e r i n g w h a t h a d h a p p e n e d f r o m

inside

the picture (associating). I a s k e d h e r to simply step o u t of the m e m o r y (dissociate)

until she c o u l d see the b a c k of h e r h e a d as she

floated the picture far into the distance a n d m a d e it black

53

PAUL

McKENNA

a n d w h i t e . Instantly, t h e t e n s i o n i n h e r f a c e r e d u c e d a s h e r muscles softened. I told her that if she ever t h o u g h t a b o u t the incident in the future, she should do it only in a dissociated manner. Two weeks later she called me to say t h a t s h e h a d b e e n s l e e p i n g b e a u t i f u l l y a n d w a s f e e l i n g m u c h better. Here's a simple chart y o u can use for reference:

To diminish unpleasant or stressful experiences:

To intensify positive or resourceful experiences:

•

•

Step out of the image

(associate).

(dissociate).

• •

M a k e t h e i m a g e still.

•

Make the image into a movie.

•

Make the image larger a n d closer.

M a k e the i m a g e b l a c k and white, dull, or o u t of

•

•

M a k e the image smaller a n d f a r t h e r away.

S t e p fully i n t o t h e i m a g e

•

Intensify t h e c o l o r s ;

focus.

increase the brightness

Make the sounds farther

a n d clarity.

away a n d quieter.

•

Make the sounds closer a n d l o u d e r (unless it is an experience of peace and quiet).

T h e p o w e r of internal representations can even turn a loser into a winner. A n u m b e r of years a g o an O l y m p i c c h a m p i o n c a m e t o m e b e c a u s e h e w a s e x p e r i e n c i n g a loss of c o n f i d e n c e . His sports psychologist h a d told h i m to

54

Change


visualize w i n n i n g the race as often as he c o u l d t h r o u g h o u t t h e day. Although

he

h a d i m a g i n e d w i n n i n g his race

hun-

d r e d s of times, he d i d n ' t feel any m o r e c o n f i d e n t . In fact, he was n o w really worried a b o u t two o t h e r competitors. W h e n I a s k e d h i m how h e i m a g i n e d w i n n i n g , i t t u r n e d o u t that he was dissociated f r o m the e x p e r i e n c e , standi n g o u t s i d e o f t h e p i c t u r e . Essentially, h e was telling his b r a i n that the w i n n i n g was for s o m e o n e else. But w h e n I asked h i m to think about the competitors w h o w o r r i e d h i m , i t t u r n e d o u t h e was m a k i n g big, b r i g h t pictures of t h e m l o o k i n g c o n f i d e n t a n d strong. I simply told h i m to step in (associate) to the picture of w i n n i n g w h i l e t a k i n g t h e pictures o f his c o m p e t i t o r s a n d s h r i n k i n g t h e m d o w n i n t o tiny black-and-white i m a g e s . H e p r a c t i c e d a few times until he c o u l d do it automatically. T h e n e x t day he w e n t o u t a n d b e a t his p e r s o n a l best in practice. In a n u t s h e l l :

The way you feel from moment to moment is a direct result of the way you are using your body and the pictures and sounds you are making in your mind. N o w that y o u k n o w h o w t o i n f l u e n c e y o u r state, y o u don't have to be at the mercy of others or of circumstances

t o m a k e y o u f e e l a p a r t i c u l a r way.

By taking

responsibility for the pictures in y o u r m i n d , the things y o u say t o y o u r s e l f ( a n d h o w y o u say t h e m ) , a n d t h e w a y y o u use your body, y o u can n o w begin to c h o o s e h o w y o u want to feel in any situation.

55

PAUL

McKENNA

THE INNER CRITIC N o t h i n g t a k e s t h e w i n d o u t o f y o u r sails m o r e q u i c k l y t h a n a few critical c o m m e n t s m a d e by the w r o n g p e r s o n a t the w r o n g t i m e . A n d the worst critic That voice inside

v

jour head i s not the voiceofGod.lt

just

o

u

l l v

you

sounds like it thinks It i _

will P

s

talk

i

n

e

v

e

r

encounter is the one w h o

s

i

d

e

v

to

o

u

r

own mind.

yourself

has

a

T h e way profound

i m p a c t on y o u r e m o t i o n a l s t a t e . F o r e x a m p l e , w h e n y o u m a k e a mis-

s

C/im Ruber

take, consider the tone of voice y o u use w h e n y o u t a l k t o y o u r s e l f . D o y o u say, "Oh,

goody,

another

learning

experi-

e n c e , " or is it s o m e t h i n g m o r e like, ' Y o u stupid idiot; y o u r e a l l y s c r e w e d u p this t i m e " o r " W h e n a r e y o u e v e r g o i n g to learn?" R e m e m b e r a time w h e n y o u m a d e a big mistake, a n d recall h o w y o u spoke to yourself. W h a t d o e s it s o u n d like? Is it critical, angry, sarcastic, or resigned? M a n y p e o p l e p r e s u m e that j u s t because there's a voice i n s i d e t h e i r h e a d t h e y h a v e t o l i s t e n t o it. B u t c r i t i c i s m i s m e a n t to be constructive, a n d if what your inner voice says i s n o t s u p p o r t i n g y o u , try this s i m p l e e x p e r i m e n t .

56

Change


The Inner Critic 1. Stop for a moment and talk to yourself in your critical voice, saying all those nasty things in that unpleasant tone. 2. Now, notice where you make that voice. Does it seem to be coming from inside your head or outside? Is it at the front, the sides, or the back? 3. Extend your arm and stick out your thumb. 4. Wherever the critical voice was, move it down your arm to the tip of your thumb, so it's now speaking to you from there. 5. Next, slow it down and c h a n g e the tone of it. Make it sound sexy, or s p e e d it up so it sounds like Mickey Mouse. It

sounds

much

less

threatening

like

that,

doesn't it?

N o w , e v e n t h o u g h it's e a s y t o c h a n g e t h e v o i c e i n y o u r m i n d , it's v e r y i m p o r t a n t t o r e m e m b e r t h a t t h e i n t e n t i o n of the critical voice is p o s i t i v e — t o stop y o u f r o m m a k i n g m i s t a k e s a n d h e l p y o u d o t h i n g s b e t t e r . H o w e v e r , critic i s m n e e d s t o b e c o n s t r u c t i v e i f it's g o i n g t o b e o f a n y u s e . Imagine

that you w a n t e d to h e l p a child to learn

s o m e t h i n g new. If y o u w e r e continually yelling every time he or she m a d e a mistake, the child w o u l d quickly lose confidence. However, if you use an encouraging tone of

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voice while pointing out what to watch out for or maybe a better way to do things, y o u w o u l d create an entirely different result. Try this a p p r o a c h n o w w i t h yourself:

1. R e m e m b e r a time w h e n y o u m a d e a mistake a n d y o u harshly criticized yourself. Recall exactly w h a t y o u said. 2 . N o w a s k y o u r s e l f , " H o w c o u l d I say t h e s a m e m e s sage in an e n c o u r a g i n g way?" 3. Step back into yourself at that time y o u m a d e the mistake. T h i s time, give yourself the constructive criticism instead. O v e r the n e x t few days, pay particular attention to h o w y o u talk t o yourself. Play with y o u r t o n e o f t h e v o i c e a n d the c o n t e n t o f the m e s s a g e until y o u feel better i n yourself. T h e p o i n t i s this:

You have a choice. You are in control.

H O W TO FEEL W H A T Y O U WANT, WHEN YOU WANT W h i l e it is a w o n d e r f u l thing to be able to c h a n g e your state i n t h e m o m e n t , i t i s e v e n m o r e u s e f u l t o b e a b l e t o consistendy

feel

resourceful

in

those

situations

that

d e m a n d y o u r best. T o p O l y m p i c athletes d o n ' t train physically f o r f o u r years a n d t h e n h o p e they'll f e e l g o o d o n t h e

58

Change Your Life in Seven Days"

day of their event. T h e y submit themselves to an equally rigorous

mental

training

regime,

programming

their

m i n d s a n d b o d i e s t o a u t o m a t i c a l l y g o i n t o g r e a t states w h e n it matters most, in the m o m e n t of competition. For the purpose of giving y o u an experience of prog r a m m i n g y o u r b o d y a n d m i n d for success, I am g o i n g to take you t h r o u g h two simple exercises in boosting your s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e i n a n y s i t u a t i o n . Y o u c a n r e t u r n t o this section at any time a n d substitute whatever feeling y o u want. T h e m o r e y o u practice these exercises, the m o r e certain it is that y o u will b e c o m e c o n f i d e n t at a rate that is comfortable to you. Whether you

experience

this

boost in

confidence

straightaway or w h e t h e r it h a p p e n s a bit m o r e e a c h time you

practice

doesn't

matter.

For

example,

I've

seen

p e o p l e w h o h a v e b e e n s h a k i n g w i t h n e r v e s easily overcome

their fear in just a few minutes;

people

who

were

paralyzed

by stage

I've also s e e n

fright gradually

evolve to t h e p o i n t w h e r e they c a n talk to an a u d i e n c e like t h e y ' v e b e e n d o i n g i t all t h e i r lives. Let's g e t started. R e a d t h r o u g h the w h o l e t e c h n i q u e f i r s t s o y o u ' r e f a m i l i a r w i t h e a c h s t e p , t h e n g o f o r it!

Instant Confidence Booster 1. Hold your head high in a comfortable and relaxed position on your shoulders. Let your spine support you. Imagine that a golden thread runs vertically up through your spine and straight up to

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the sky and that that thread supports you. Let yourself relax, safely held by that thread. This relaxed upright stance is the natural position of confidence, and it will soon be as natural to you as breathing. 2. Now remember a time when you felt totally confident. Return fully to that time now, seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, and feeling how g o o d you felt. (If you can't remember a specific time, just imagine how much better your life would be if you were totally confident and secure—if you had all the power, strength, and self-confidence you could ever need.) 3. Now make the colors brighter and richer, and the sounds louder, and allow your feelings of confid e n c e to intensify. 4. Notice where that feeling of confidence is strongest in your body. Give this feeling of confid e n c e a color, and move that color up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes. Double the brightness. Double it again! 5. Repeat steps 2-4 at least five more times. Vividly imagine that event where you are confident again in detail. You can use the same experience or add in new ones each time.

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Change


THE C O N F I D E N C E S W I T C H N o w that y o u k n o w h o w to boost your confidence whenever y o u c h o o s e , h o w w o u l d y o u like to be able to have a "switch" that allows y o u to fire off that c o n f i d e n t f e e l i n g w h e n e v e r y o u n e e d it? In the late

1900s t h e Russian scientist Pavlov c o n -

ducted some famous experiments in which he would offer f o o d to his d o g s a n d at the s a m e time r i n g a bell. A f t e r h e h a d d o n e this several t i m e s t h e d o g s a s s o c i a t e d the bell with food, and within a short while he w o u l d o n l y h a v e t o r i n g t h e b e l l a n d t h e d o g s w o u l d salivate. H e h a d created an association between a bell a n d feeding time. T h e r e was no logical c o n n e c t i o n b e t w e e n the two things, but t h r o u g h constant repetition, a neurological c o n n e c t i o n was c r e a t e d in the m i n d s of the dogs. T h e s i m p l e scientific r e a s o n is this: t h e b r a i n is a m a s s of millions of neural pathways, with each idea or m e m o r y m o v i n g a l o n g its o w n p a t h . W h e n e v e r w e d o s o m e t h i n g new, we create a n e w n e u r a l pathway so we can access t h a t e x p e r i e n c e a g a i n m o r e easily. E a c h t i m e w e r e p e a t a particular behavior, we strengthen the associated neural pathway, j u s t as w h e n y o u walk d o w n a p a t h t h r o u g h a f i e l d the p a t h b e c o m e s m o r e distinct. Research has shown that these neural pathways in the brain actually get physically larger t h r o u g h repetition of behavior. T h a t is h o w p e o p l e b e c o m e "hardwired" to certain automatic behaviors, such as s m o k i n g a n d overeating. We can use that same m e n t a l architecture to design

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pathways to success a n d h a p p i n e s s , a n d to create associations that allow us to switch on certain feelings w h e n e v e r we want them. I r e m e m b e r years a g o w h e n I t e a m e d up with a h u g e p r o m o t e r w h o b o o k e d m y live h y p n o s i s s h o w i n t o t h e biggest theater in L o n d o n . I'd n e v e r played anyplace like i t b e f o r e , a n d w h e n I first s t o o d o n t h e s t a g e a f e w d a y s b e f o r e the show a n d l o o k e d o u t at the massive e m p t y auditorium I started to feel fear in my stomach. In o r d e r to switch on the level of c o n f i d e n c e I k n e w I n e e d e d to p e r f o r m at my best, I did the same exercise that you're a b o u t to do. I created an association b e t w e e n a feeling of c o n f i d e n c e a n d a simple physical gesture, a n d I vividly i m a g i n e d t h e e v e n t g o i n g beautifully. The

n i g h t of the p e r f o r m a n c e I was f e e l i n g a bit

u n s u r e a b o u t h o w I w o u l d feel o n c e I was o u t t h e r e . However, the m o m e n t I w a l k e d o u t on the stage it was as t h o u g h a sheet of calm came over m e ,

and I glided

t h r o u g h a perfect p e r f o r m a n c e . Despite the inevitable c h a l l e n g e s t h a t c a m e m y way, I f e l t s o c a l m a n d i n c o n t r o l t h a t I h a n d l e d all o f t h e m e f f o r t l e s s l y . I'm going to guide you through accessing a strong positive state. E a c h t i m e y o u e x p e r i e n c e a p e a k o f t h e g o o d feeling, press the t h u m b a n d m i d d l e finger of e a c h h a n d together to create an association b e t w e e n confid e n c e a n d t h e physical g e s t u r e . O v e r t i m e , this g e s t u r e will b e c o m e y o u r c o n f i d e n c e switch,

enabling you to

access y o u r m o s t c o n f i d e n t states a t will. H e r e ' s t h e process, exactly as I use it f o r myself. O n c e

62


a g a i n , b e f o r e y o u u n d e r t a k e this t e c h n i q u e r e a d t h r o u g h i t first s o y o u k n o w e a c h s t e p .

The Confidence Switch 1. Remember a time when you felt really, really confident. Fully return to it n o w — s e e what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel how g o o d you felt. (If you can't remember a specific time, imagine how much better your life would be if you were totally confident—if you had all the power, strength, and self-confidence you could ever need!) 2. As you keep going through this memory, make the colors brighter and richer, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. 3. As you feel these g o o d feelings, s q u e e z e the thumb and middle finger of either hand together. 4. Now, s q u e e z e the thumb and middle finger together and relive that g o o d feeling. 5. Repeat steps 1-4 several times with different positive memories until just squeezing your thumb and middle finger together begins to bring back those g o o d feelings. 6. Still holding your thumb and middle finger together, think about a situation in which you

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want to feel more confident. Imagine things going perfectly, going exactly the way you want them to g o . S e e what you'll see, hear what you'll hear, and feei how g o o d it feels.

P r a c t i c e t h i s e v e r y day. T h e m i n d i s v e r y s e n s i t i v e , a n d a s y o u feel m o r e c o n f i d e n t r u n n i n g t h r o u g h t h o s e scen a r i o s i n y o u r i m a g i n a t i o n , y o u will feel m o r e c o n f i d e n t w h e n they o c c u r in the real world. W h e n e v e r y o u feel challenged, simply turn on y o u r c o n f i d e n c e switch b y s q u e e z i n g y o u r t h u m b a n d m i d d l e finger together,

concentrate

for

a few m o m e n t s ,

and

access y o u r i n n e r state o f c o n f i d e n c e !

THE S E C R E T O F C H A R I S M A W e all k n o w p e o p l e w h o h a v e a k i n d o f m a g i c quality a b o u t t h e m . W h e n they walk into a r o o m , it lights up a n d w e f e e l d r a w n t o t h e m . T h e y d o n ' t h a v e t o b e t h e life a n d s o u l o f t h e party, b u t t h e y a r e m y s t e r i o u s l y attract i v e . M a n y H o l l y w o o d stars a r e n o t b r i l l i a n t a c t o r s , b u t something

seems

to

emanate

from

inside

them

that

appeals to many, m a n y p e o p l e . T h a t is the quality we call charisma. Charismatic p e o p l e feel comfortable in themselves. Because they are c o n t e n t with w h o they are, they aren't desperately looking for the approval of others a n d they

64

Change


aren't trying to manipulate others into liking t h e m . Ironically, t h a t ' s w h y w e f e e l d r a w n t o t h e m . I ' m n o w g o i n g t o g u i d e y o u t h r o u g h two o f m y favorite techniques for cranking up your self-appreciation, maki n g y o u feel m o r e a t p e a c e i n yourself a n d m o r e charismatic to the world.

S o m e b o d y Who Loves You 1. If it's appropriate, close your e y e s and think of s o m e o n e w h o loves or deeply appreciates you. Remember how the person looks, and imagine that person standing in front of you now. 2. Gently step out of your b o d y and into the body of the person who loves you. S e e through their eyes, hear through their ears, and feel the love and g o o d feelings they have as you look at yourself. Really notice in detail what it is that they love and appreciate about you. Recognize and a c k n o w l e d g e those amazing qualities that perhaps you hadn't appreciated about yourself until now. 3. Step back into your own b o d y and take a few moments to enjoy those g o o d feelings of knowing that you are loved and appreciated exactly as you are.

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This next technique is excellent for m a k i n g y o u feel m u c h m o r e attractive as a p e r s o n , a n d was d e v i s e d by my c o l l e a g u e M i c h a e l B r e e n . I n o r d e r t o d o i t y o u will n e e d a mirror. Y o u are g o i n g to create an association between your

reflection

and

the

many compliments you

have

received t h r o u g h o u t your lifetime. O n e o f t h e r e a s o n s this t e c h n i q u e w o r k s s o well i s because everyone receives c o m p l i m e n t s a n d praise f r o m t i m e t o t i m e . S o m e t i m e s i t m a y s e e m trivial, l i k e " H e y , you're l o o k i n g g o o d today!" or "My friend thinks y o u ' r e g o r g e o u s ! " At o t h e r times, it may be m o r e significant, like "Do you know h o w m u c h people respect you?" or "Thank y o u for being w h o you are and d o i n g what you do." Sincere, positive appreciation f r o m others, especially appreciation that you might not have b e e n able to accept f r o m the p o i n t of view y o u h a d at the time, can be valuable in learning to appreciate y o u r o w n qualities m o r e fully a n d e n h a n c e y o u r self-respect now.

What's Right with You? 1. Standing in front of a mirror with your e y e s closed, recall a specific time when you w e r e paid a compliment by s o m e o n e you respect or trust. Run through the e x p e r i e n c e in vivid detail. 2. As you recall the compliment and the sincerity of the person w h o said it, pay particular attention to your feelings of trust and regard for the other person.

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Change


3. When you feel that as strongly as possible, o p e n your e y e s and look in the mirror. Allow yourself to really s e e w h a t that person saw, and notice how that feels. 4. W h e n you are really feeling wonderful a b o u t yourself, s q u e e z e t o g e t h e r your thumb and middle finger. Allow the feelings of self-love and self-respect to blend with the feelings of confidence that are already there.

R e m e m b e r to use these

t e c h n i q u e s e v e r y day, a n d

d o n ' t b e too surprised a b o u t h o w c o n f i d e n t a n d charismatic you b e c o m e . As your confidence increases each day, y o u ' l l f i n d y o u r s e l f n a t u r a l l y d o i n g t h i n g s t h a t y o u used to only d r e a m of!

DEVELOPING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Okay, we're c o m i n g to the e n d of o n e of the most important lessons y o u will e v e r learn. W e h a v e s e e n h o w w e c a n c h a n g e o u r feelings by modifying the way we use o u r body, the way we talk to ourselves, a n d the pictures we m a k e in o u r m i n d . S o d o e s this m e a n w e ' l l n e v e r f e e l a n g r y , s a d , o r fearful again? Well, sometimes, for s o m e people, it m i g h t be that simple, but for most of us there's another aspect of our e m o t i o n a l life t h a t h a s t o b e c o n s i d e r e d .

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W o r k i n g with y o u r feelings is really l e a r n i n g to use y o u r e m o t i o n a l i n t e l l i g e n c e to t h e full. T h e r e is a w h o l e w o r l d o f u n d e r s t a n d i n g a n d insight available

through

your emotions. An e m o t i o n is a bit like s o m e o n e k n o c k i n g on y o u r d o o r to deliver a message. If the message is u r g e n t , it k n o c k s loudly. If it is very u r g e n t , it k n o c k s very loudly. If y o u don't answer the door, it knocks louder a n d louder a n d l o u d e r u n t i l y o u o p e n t h e d o o r . T h e n i t d e l i v e r s its m e s s a g e . A s s o o n a s y o u u n d e r s t a n d e v e n p a r t o f it, i t b e c o m e s part of your self-understanding. Y o u are c h a n g e d , a n d t h e e m o t i o n h a s d o n e its j o b . T h i s d o e s n o t m e a n t h a t all e m o t i o n s are i m m e d i a t e l y i n f a l l i b l e g u i d e s t o a c t i o n . F a r f r o m it. B u t t o r e a c h t h e wisdom of our emotions, we must work with them. We have to r e m e m b e r that we experience a h u g e range of f e e l i n g s — a l m o s t as great a r a n g e as we have thoughts. S o m e of o u r thoughts are banal a n d meaningless; others are meaningful a n d worthwhile. It is the same with o u r f e e l i n g s . S o m e a r e trivial; o t h e r s a r e p r o f o u n d . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , f o r t h e last t h r e e h u n d r e d y e a r s W e s t ern culture has woefully u n d e r v a l u e d emotions. I n d e e d , most Western cultures place a h i g h value on suppressing a n d ignoring emotional reactions. Yet learning to handle o u r emotions a n d to understand t h e m is a fundamental p a r t o f g r o w i n g u p , j u s t like l e a r n i n g t o use o u r m i n d to think clearly or u s i n g o u r h a n d s to write or d r a w or make dungs. A t this p o i n t , y o u m a y b e w o n d e r i n g : " H o w c a n I tell the difference between emotions that are just reactions

68

Change


to the pictures in my h e a d a n d e m o t i o n s that have an important message I n e e d to learn from?" T h e answer is simple. If an emotion is unimportant or n o l o n g e r truly r e l e v a n t t o y o u r life, i t vanishes w h e n y o u c h a n g e the pictures in your head. If it is important and relates to a real, c u r r e n t situation that y o u n e e d to learn f r o m , i t will c o m e b a c k , a g a i n a n d a g a i n a n d a g a i n . I n that case, w h e n t h e e m o t i o n turns u p y o u n e e d t o listen a n d l e a r n f r o m it. A s f o r h o w t o d o t h a t , r e a d o n . . . .

THE N E G A T I V I T Y F A S T T h e final t e c h n i q u e f o r today i s o n e o f the m o s t p o w e r f u l i n t h e w h o l e b o o k , a n d e v e r y o n e c a n b e n e f i t f r o m it. I first b e g a n u s i n g it in 1990, a n d I almost immediately n o t i c e d a r e m a r k a b l e u p t u r n in my c o n f i d e n c e a n d ability t o s o l v e p r o b l e m s a n d r e a c h m y g o a l s . We have already seen that the m o r e often we repeat a pattern of behavior, the stronger that pattern b e c o m e s . W h e n w e i n d u l g e i n negativity over t h e years, w e literally hardwire ourselves to be negative. F o r t h e rest o f the w e e k , y o u are g o i n g t o i n t e r r u p t that p a t t e r n . Y o u a r e g o i n g t o starve y o u r s e l f o f negativity a n d retrain yourself to be m o r e positive instead. D o n ' t j u s t r e a d t h i s , live it for the next week. T h i s p r o c e s s a l o n e will rewrite t h e o p e r a t i n g software of y o u r m i n d — i t ' s a p r o c e s s that will serve y o u well for t h e rest o f y o u r life! Here's h o w it works. For

the

next week,

whenever you feel

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bad

about

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anything, s t o p w h a t y o u ' r e d o i n g (as s o o n a s i t i s s a f e t o d o s o ) a n d f o l l o w t h e s e five e a s y s t e p s :

The Negativity Fast 1. Ask yourself what you are feeling bad about and notice what image, sound, or words come to mind. Remember, your emotions are like signals, letting you know when you need to pay extra attention to some aspect of your experience.

Every

feeling in your body is linked to an internal

picture, sound, or the words you say to yourself in your mind. 2. Listen for the message or positive intention of the emotion. Negative emotions are just messengers sent by your mind and body to let you know it's time to pay attention to something. For example, if I have a worrying feeling and I stop and notice, what comes to mind is the image of an upcoming meeting. My mind is trying to alert me to things that might go wrong in that meeting and make sure 1 am well prepared. 3. Act on the message! So, in our example, I might make a list of all the things I can do to stop those problems occurring, and take action on at least one of them. 4. Turn off the messenger. This is like hanging up the phone or resetting the smoke alarm. When I've h e e d e d my mind's warning, I drain all the

70


color out of the image, shrink it down to the size of a p o s t a g e stamp, and send it off into the distance. If the picture p o p s back, it's b e c a u s e there's still something you need to be aware of, so find out what it is. 5. Program your desired future. Finally, imagine events going exactly the way you want them to. In the example of my upcoming meeting, I make a big, bright movie of the meeting going perfectly and watch it all the way up to the happy ending.

Test this a m a z i n g p r o c e s s o u t n o w f o r yourself:

1. T h i n k about s o m e t h i n g that makes you feel bad, a n d notice what i m a g e c o m e s to m i n d . As y o u pay attention to that image, notice:

•

Is it c o l o r or black a n d white?

•

W h e r e is it located? Is it in front of you? Or to t h e left or right?

•

Is it b i g or small?

•

Is it a m o v i e or a still i m a g e ?

•

Is it a s o l i d i m a g e or t r a n s p a r e n t ?

•

Is t h e r e a n y s o u n d w i t h this i m a g e ?

2 . N o w STOP! A l l o f t h i s i n f o r m a t i o n i s w h a t g i v e s t h e b a d f e e l i n g its power, and you were unconscious of it going on until a m o m e n t a g o . S o n o w t h a t y o u a r e a w a r e o f it, w e ' r e g o i n g

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t o a s k w h a t its i n t e n t i o n is. W h a t m e s s a g e d o e s t h e e m o tion w a n t to give you? 3. Now, take a few m o m e n t s to b r a i n s t o r m s o m e ways y o u c a n solve those p r o b l e m s . I f y o u have time, y o u c a n write d o w n s o m e notes. If not, j u s t ask y o u r u n c o n s c i o u s m i n d to r e m i n d y o u at the n e x t available opportunity. 4 . T h e n d r a i n all t h e c o l o r o u t o f t h e i m a g e , s h r i n k it, a n d m o v e i t o f f i n t o t h e d i s t a n c e . I f i t h a p p e n s t o r e a p pear, ask yourself if there's a n y t h i n g y o u ' v e missed. T h e n j u s t d r a i n t h e c o l o r o u t a g a i n , s h r i n k i t s o it's s m a l l , a n d m o v e it far away o n c e again. 5 . F i n a l l y , t a k e a f e w m o m e n t s t o i m a g i n e y o u r life a s y o u w o u l d ideally like it to be. H o w do y o u w a n t to be? W h a t kinds of things w o u l d y o u like to do? W h a t w o u l d y o u most w a n t to have?

With every n e w habit we take on, there is a tipping p o i n t — t h e point at which it b e c o m e s easier to exercise than not, easier to eat healthily than to eat poorly, easier to think rich than to think poor. Every t i m e y o u practice, y o u will g e t benefits, b u t y o u will o n l y g e t t h e m o s t a m a z i n g b e n e f i t s o f this t e c h n i q u e if you practice it right up to a n d over the tipping point. U s e i t every t i m e y o u f e e l b a d a b o u t a n y t h i n g f o r t h e n e x t w e e k . T h r o u g h the s h e e r r e p e t i t i o n o f this t e c h n i q u e , y o u will totally r e c o n d i t i o n y o u r s e l f f o r success. Y o u will b e c o m e m o r e positive, e n e r g i z e d , a n d optimistic. Y o u w i l l s t a r t t o l o o k a t life w i t h

72

more

optimism,

seeing

Change


opportunities to s u c c e e d a n d achieve in situations w h e r e b e f o r e y o u saw o n l y fear, failure, a n d " m o r e o f t h e s a m e . " Until tomorrow, Paul

McKenna

PS. In the next chapter, I'll be sharing with you the secrets of a positive perspective—how to nity to learn,

change,

turn

any problem into an

and succeed!

73

opportu-

THE P O W E R O F A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE The art of refraining

PAUL

McKENNA

Before you begin today: •

Listen to the hypnotic trance (www.paulmckenna.com/trance).

• Review the "Reprogramming Your Self-Image" exercise from p a g e 3 5 . •

Do the following exeroise in creating a positive state.. . .

1. Remember a time when you felt really, really good. Fully return to it n o w — s e e what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel how g o o d you felt. (If you can't remember a specific time, imagine how much better your life would be if you were totally confident—if you had all the power, strength, and self-confidence you could ever need!) 2. As you keep going through this memory, make the colors brighter and richer, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. 3. As you feel these g o o d feelings, squeeze the thumb and middle finger of one hand together. 4. Now squeeze your thumb and middle finger together and relive that g o o d feeling. Think about the rest of the day ahead, feeling and imagining things going perfectly, going the way you want them to go. S e e what you'll see, hear what you'll hear, and feel how g o o d it feels. Congratulations! You have just programmed yourself to have a great day.

76

I here is an old, old story about a farmer in China.

One year

the weather was very good and his crops grew strong and high. All his neighbors told him how lucky he was to have such a fine crop, and he replied,

"Maybe." Then the day before he was going

to start the harvest a herd of wild horses came running off the plains and trampled all his crops flat. His neighbors came by and said how unlucky he was to lose his fine crop. The farmer replied, "Maybe." The next day the farmer's son went out with a length of rope and caught a wild stallion and three mares,

and the neigh-

bors came by to admire the horses and told the farmer how lucky he was.

The farmer said,

"Maybe. " In the morning the farmer's son

started to break in the horses,

and no sooner had he mounted the

stallion than it threw him, and as he fell on the ground he broke his leg.

The neighbors carried him indoors and commiserated with

the farmer, saying how unlucky he was that his only son was so badly

injured.

The farmer said,

77

"Maybe."

The

next

day

the

PAUL

McKENNA

emperor's army came to the village on the way to fight a great battle,

and all the able-bodied young men were forced into the

army. But the farmer's son was not taken because of his broken leg. All his neighbors told the farmer how lucky he was that his son had been saved from the army, and the farmer said, "Maybe."

78

THE P O W E R O F A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE A c o u p l e of years a g o I m e t the actor W i l l S m i t h a t a party. I t o l d h i m t h a t I

There's no such

a d m i r e his w o r k a n d that I think he is a

thing as bad

positive inspiration

weather—only

He

stopped,

about what

to lots of p e o p l e .

looked I

had

at

me,

thought

said,

and

replied,

the

wrong clothes. —Billy Connolly

" T h a n k y o u — t h a n k you very m u c h . But I h a v e t o say," h e c o n t i n u e d , "it's b e e n easy f o r m e — I ' m black." W h e n I a s k e d h i m a b o u t this r a t h e r e x t r a o r d i n a r y p o i n t o f view, h e t o l d m e t h a t s i n c e h e w a s a b o y , h e h a s m a d e extensive use of the power of perspective. In any situation, he looks for a truthful b u t highly selective way o f t h i n k i n g that m a k e s h i m feel positive a n d gets h i m excited about making things h a p p e n . P e r h a p s o n e o f the m o s t i m p o r t a n t c o n c e p t s i n this b o o k is this:

Your experience of life is primarily affected by the perspective you view it from. Depending upon the meaning we give to situations or events, we will feel and behave differently.

S o m e p e o p l e always m a n a g e t o l o o k a t t h i n g s i n a p o s i tive way. T h e y h a v e a n ability t o f r a m e a n y s i t u a t i o n i n a w a y

79

PAUL

McKENNA

that leaves t h e m feeling e m p o w e r e d a n d strong. T h e y c a n take a seemingly negative situation a n d reframe it to find t h e p o s i t i v e . F o r t h e s e p e o p l e , t h e glass o f w a t e r i s always h a l f full, n o m a t t e r h o w e m p t y i t m a y l o o k t o the rest o f us! A few years a g o I m e t the f o r m e r R A F officer J o h n N i c h o l , w h o was shot d o w n while on a mission d u r i n g the G u l f War. As a result, J o h n was h o r r i b l y t o r t u r e d by his Iraqi captors. W h e n I asked h i m h o w he m a n a g e d to get through

this

terrifying

ordeal,

he

explained

how

he

f r a m e d it in h i s m i n d . He knew that no matter what, the torture and the pain would stop. E i t h e r h i s c a p t o r s w o u l d g e t b o r e d or he w o u l d pass out. E v e n t h o u g h it was a terrible situation to be in, the p o w e r of his perspective of knowi n g it w o u l d stop was w h a t gave h i m the strength to m a k e it through. Y o u c a n c h a n g e y o u r life w i t h t h e p o w e r o f p o s i t i v e p e r s p e c t i v e s — t o d a y ' s lesson will t e a c h y o u h o w !

MEDIA A N D M E A N I N G A

highly effective

communicator

can

reframe a n y t h i n g to create a different We're not retreating,

perspective or interpretation.

we're just

there is so m u c h spin in

advancing

in another direction.

In fact,

the media

today that a b o u t the only thing y o u can

—-General

k n o w for sure is that if y o u d o n ' t take

George S. Patton

responsibility for the frames y o u m a k e i n y o u r life, t h e n s o m e o n e else will!

80

Change

•


Advertisers get paid a lot of m o n e y to frame their

products in the best possible light. T h e y do it by creating t h e i d e a t h a t s o m e h o w w h a t t h e y a r e s e l l i n g will m a k e y o u s e x i e r , h e a l t h i e r , h a p p i e r , o r m o r e stylish. •

Public relations is a b o u t a r r a n g i n g the truths to

p u t across y o u r point in the best possible light. •

M a r k e t e r s , politicians, a n d e v e n r e l i g i o n s h a v e all

b e c o m e e x p e r t at p l a c i n g their products, services, or view o f h o w w e s h o u l d l e a d o u r lives i n c o n t e x t s t h a t m a k e t h e m a p p e a r sophisticated, worthy, or desirable. •

T h e news m e d i a shapes o u r opinions of the world

by w h i c h stories they c h o o s e to report. R a t h e r than maki n g t h o s e d e c i s i o n s b a s e d o n w h a t will h e l p

us make

i n f o r m e d d e c i s i o n s a b o u t t h e w o r l d , all t o o o f t e n t h e c h o i c e a b o u t w h a t i s f e a t u r e d a n d w h a t gets left o u t c o m e s d o w n t o w h a t will p u l l h i g h e r r a t i n g s .

In m u c h the same way as a p h o t o g , , . . ^ . r a p h e r tells y o u w h a t i s i m p o r t a n t i n a , i ^ i i_ j •J picture by what he or she decides to i J • c J u ^ • i i n c l u d e i n t h e f r a m e a n d w h a t i s lert o u t , , • ^ ^ . ^, .

No matter how thin you slice it, there are

J

always two sides. —Baruch Spinoza

the m e a n i n g s we attribute to the events

r

i n o u r lives a r e d e t e r m i n e d b y t h e p a r t s of our experience we choose to make important. O u r interpretation

of any

situation

depends

on

what

we

include or exclude from our frame of perception. T h e f a c t is, e v e r y t h i n g i s r e l a t i v e . W h e n y o u t h i n k o n e situation is bad, that is b e c a u s e y o u are c o m p a r i n g it to s o m e t h i n g y o u perceive t o b e better. O n e o f m y favorite

81

PAUL

McKENNA

e x a m p l e s of this c o m e s in a letter f r o m a c o l l e g e s t u d e n t to her parents:

Dear Mom and Dad, A p o l o g i e s for taking so l o n g to write, b u t my writing utensils w e r e d e s t r o y e d i n t h e f i r e a t m y a p a r t m e n t . I a m o u t o f t h e h o s p i t a l a n d t h e d o c t o r says t h a t I s h o u l d be a b l e to l e a d a n o r m a l , h e a l t h y life. A h a n d s o m e y o u n g m a n c a l l e d P e t e s a v e d m e f r o m t h e fire a n d k i n d l y o f f e r e d t o s h a r e his a p a r t m e n t w i t h m e . H e i s v e r y k i n d a n d p o l i t e a n d f r o m a g o o d family, s o I t h i n k y o u ' l l a p p r o v e w h e n I tell y o u t h a t w e g o t m a r r i e d last w e e k . I k n o w y o u ' l l b e e v e n m o r e e x c i t e d w h e n I tell y o u that y o u a r e g o i n g t o b e g r a n d p a r e n t s v e r y s o o n . A c t u a l l y t h e r e w a s n ' t a fire, I h a v e n ' t b e e n in t h e h o s pital, I ' m n o t m a r r i e d , a n d I ' m n o t p r e g n a n t , b u t I d i d fail m y b i o l o g y e x a m a n d I j u s t w a n t e d t o m a k e sure that w h e n I t o l d y o u , y o u p u t i t i n p r o p e r p e r s p e c t i v e . Love, Your daughter

I h a d a friend w h o demonstrated the p o w e r of comparative f r a m i n g e v e n m o r e dramatically. F o r m o n t h s , m y friend was continually telling m e h o w f r i g h t e n e d h e was that s o o n h e w o u l d b e forty years o l d a n d his m u c h y o u n g e r girlfriend did not want to marry him. No matter h o w m u c h I attempted to reassure him, he persisted in focusing on what he considered to be the worst thing that c o u l d h a p p e n — t h a t h e m i g h t b e u n m a r r i e d a n d w i t h o u t a f a m i l y a t t h e a g e o f forty.

82


O n e day I n o t i c e d that he s e e m e d calmer a n d was no l o n g e r c o m p l a i n i n g a b o u t his situation. W h e n I a s k e d h i m what h a d c h a n g e d , h e told m e his girlfriend h a d recently f o u n d a l u m p in h e r breast. T h o u g h it t u r n e d out to be benign, he recognized that c o m p a r e d to the t h r e a t o f losing h e r t o cancer, n o t b e i n g m a r r i e d yet was little m o r e t h a n a m i n o r i n c o n v e n i e n c e . Remember, the advantage of being able to decide h o w y o u f r a m e events is that it gives y o u m o r e choices. M o r e c h o i c e s gives u s g r e a t e r flexibility, a n d a s w e ' l l see in a few m o m e n t s , g r e a t e r flexibility leads to an i n c r e a s e d ability to i n f l u e n c e the results in a n y situation.

FLEXIBILITY IS P O W E R Years a g o the propellers on ships u s e d to be attached with metal pins. T h e d u n k i n g was that b y m a k i n g the pins o f the s t r o n g e s t m a t e r i a l s , t h e y w o u l d last l o n g e r a n d b e m o r e secure. Unfortunately, they were so rigid that if the propeller hit anything, they b r o k e . Nowadays, ship propellers are

attached with

flexible

rubber couplings. Although

s e e m i n g l y less s t r o n g t h a n t h e i r m e t a l c o u n t e r p a r t s , t h e s e couplings

offer

greater

longevity

and

s e c u r i t y t h r o u g h t h e i r flexibility. Similarly, r e s e a r c h e r s in t h e r e l a t i v e l y

Whoever sets the agenda controls the

n e w s c i e n c e of cybernetics have f o u n d

outcome o f the

that the most powerful person in any

debate.

g r o u p is invariably t h e m o s t flexible. T h e individual w h o has the m o s t ways o f

83

—Noam Chomsky

PAULMcKENNA

l o o k i n g at things has the m o s t choices a n d h e n c e the greatest possibility o f c o n t r o l l i n g t h e o u t c o m e o f a n y situation. T h e art of r e f r a m i n g the w o r l d with a positive perspective is n o t a b o u t i g n o r i n g p r o b l e m s b u t a b o u t having sufficient flexibility t o m a k e y o u r p o i n t o f view w o r k f o r y o u instead o f against y o u . W h e n I'm w o r k i n g with children w h o have to go through an unpleasant medical procedure,

I r e f r a m e i t by turning it into

a game; with

g r o w n - u p s , I'll o f t e n h e l p t h e m r e f r a m e t h e i r f e a r a s excitement a n d their procrastination as "perfectly timing the universe."

T H E R E ' S N O S U C H THING A S FAILURE O n e o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t lessons I've l e a r n e d f r o m w o r k i n g w i t h s u c c e s s f u l p e o p l e o v e r t h e y e a r s i s t h a t failu r e i s a n a t t i t u d e , n o t a n o u t c o m e . T h a t is, it's g o t n o t h i n g t o d o with the results y o u p r o d u c e a n d e v e r y t h i n g t o do with h o w y o u frame things. F o r e x a m p l e , after T h o m a s Edison's seven h u n d r e d t h unsuccessful a t t e m p t to invent the electric light, he was a s k e d by a New York Times r e p o r t e r , " H o w d o e s it f e e l to have failed seven h u n d r e d times?" T h e g r e a t i n v e n t o r r e s p o n d e d w i t h a classic e x a m p l e of a positive perspective: "I have n o t failed seven h u n d r e d times. I have n o t failed o n c e . I have s u c c e e d e d in p r o v i n g that those seven h u n d r e d ways will n o t w o r k . W h e n I h a v e e l i m i n a t e d all t h e w a y s t h a t will n o t w o r k , I will f i n d t h e w a y t h a t will w o r k . "

84

Change


T h o u s a n d s m o r e of those successful proofs of what will n o t w o r k f o l l o w e d , b u t E d i s o n finally f o u n d the way that did work, a n d in so d o i n g he illuminated the world. A b o v e all, w h a t E d i s o n s u c c e e d e d i n d o i n g was t o f r a m e his particular c h a l l e n g e in a way that h e l p e d k e e p h i m motivated. H e was flexible e n o u g h i n his t h i n k i n g t o give himself m o r e choices. A n d y o u can give yourself the s a m e flexibility! Here's an exercise in putting the p o w e r of perspective t o w o r k i n y o u r o w n life:

The Frame G a m e 1. Think a b o u t a project or goal that you m a d e happen in the past. What frame, meaning, or p e r s p e c t i v e did you or s o m e o n e else use to g e t and k e e p you motivated and involved? EXAMPLES:

"My boss kept our team by making

it about

"I got my son success him

at

around

to

do

school

to

the

working

contribution

hard on to

the

a

project

community."

his homework by tying in how

much

freedom

I

his gave

house."

2. Think of a project or goal that you are currently working on or considering working on in the future.

85

PAULMCKENNA

3. W h a t are s o m e frames you could put around the project that would reduce your interest in getting involved and making it happen? EXAMPLES'.

"This is

an

experiment in

"Even

if it

works,

"This

is just

the

failure."

nothing good latest

will come

management

of it."

fad."

4. W h a t frames could you put around the project that would increase your interest in getting involved and making it happen? EXAMPLES:

"She

who

dies

"Whatever the "The

universe

with result, wants

the it

most

friends

will have

me

to

been

wins." worthwhile."

succeed."

A QUESTION OF PERSPECTIVE O n e o f t h e m o s t p o w e r f u l f r a m i n g t o o l s w e all u s e o n a daily basis is also o n e of t h e s i m p l e s t — t h e p o w e r of questions. Questions determine the focus of our perception as well a s t h e a m o u n t o f success, love, fear, a n g e r , joy, o r w o n d e r that w e e x p e r i e n c e o n a n o n g o i n g basis. S o m e o f the p e o p l e I m e e t a n d work with are stuck or in pain because

they are

continually asking

themselves

nega-

tively o r i e n t a t e d q u e s t i o n s . C o n s i d e r the question " W h y c a n ' t I do this?" T h i s

86

Change


q u e s t i o n a s s u m e s t h a t (a) t h e r e i s s o m e t h i n g t o b e d o n e a n d ( b ) y o u c a n ' t d o it. In order to even understand the question, your m i n d a u t o m a t i c a l l y b e g i n s t o s e a r c h o u t all t h e r e a s o n s w h y y o u can't do whatever it is that y o u perceive needs to be d o n e . No matter what answer y o u give, you are accepting the basic premise of the question. Alternatively,

imagine

asking yourself,

"How can

I

m o s t e a s i l y m a k e this w o r k ? " T h i s q u e s t i o n p r e s u p p o s e s t h a t (a) t h i s c a n w o r k , ( b ) t h e r e a r e a n u m b e r o f w a y s t h i s c a n w o r k , a n d (c) i t c a n b e d o n e easily. T h e s e a s s u m p tions or presuppositions act as a directional compass, a n d your m i n d then searches for h o w to m a k e things work. Q u e s t i o n s d i r e c t y o u r f o c u s , a n d y o u always g e t m o r e o f w h a t y o u f o c u s o n i n life. I f y o u r quality o f life i s p o o r , examine

your

inner

questions

and

ask y o u r s e l f h o w

m u c h more empowering you can make them. S o m e examples of c o m m o n but unhelpful questions are: •

W h y d o e s this a l w a y s h a p p e n t o m e ?

•

W h y d o n ' t I like myself?

•

W h y can't I ever lose weight?

N o w , ask y o u r s e l f a n e w q u e s t i o n :

How can I ask this in a way that points toward the positive? S o let's l e a r n h o w q u e s t i o n s c a n e m p o w e r us. Start b y a s k i n g q u e s t i o n s t h a t p r e s u p p o s e t h e p o s i t i v e , s u c h as:

87

PAUL

•

W h a t is

the

McKENNA

m o s t e l e g a n t way I c a n solve

this

problem? •

H o w m a n y d i f f e r e n t ways o f s o l v i n g this p r o b l e m can I c o m e up with?

•

H o w c a n I m o s t easily s t o p d o i n g

?

T h e s e questions m a k e y o u r brain sort for different information and put you in a different a n d m o r e resourcef u l state. I f y o u a r e n o t h a p p y w i t h t h e a n s w e r y o u a r e g e t ting back, y o u can either c h a n g e the question or k e e p a s k i n g u n t i l y o u a r e . Y o u r b r a i n will k e e p s e a r c h i n g f o r y o u until a useful answer has b e e n found.

THE W O R K O F B Y R O N KATIE All too often h u m a n beings b e c o m e e n t r e n c h e d in an u n r e s o u r c e f u l p l a c e t h r o u g h l a c k o f e m o t i o n a l flexibility. By asking questions that gently force the listener to exper i e n c e things differently, I h a v e s e e n p e o p l e b e c o m e free f r o m years of painful e m o t i o n s in a matter of minutes. B y r o n K a t i e , a u t h o r o f t h e a m a z i n g b o o k Loving What Is, u s e s a s i m p l e b u t r e m a r k a b l y e f f e c t i v e s e t o f q u e s t i o n s that helps people o v e r c o m e anger, resentment, and fear very quickly. S h e b e g i n s by asking if t h e r e is s o m e o n e y o u are j u d g i n g h a r s h l y — s o m e o n e you haven't yet forgiven f o r w h a t e v e r i t i s t h a t h e o r s h e h a s d o n e . S h e asks f o r s p e c i f i c i n f o r m a t i o n , s u c h as: " H o w d o y o u w a n t t h e m t o change? W h a t should or shouldn't they do? W h a t do you need from them in order to be happy?"

88

Change


O n c e she has elicited the perspective that is causing t h e r e s e n t m e n t , s h e asks f o u r s i m p l e q u e s t i o n s :

1. Is it true? W h e n p e o p l e first c o n s i d e r w h e t h e r t h e i r p o i n t o f view is true, the answer is often a r e s o u n d i n g yes. H o w ever, s h e follows it up with a m o r e s e a r c h i n g q u e s t i o n :

2. Can you really know that it's true? For m a n y p e o p l e it c o m e s as a surprise that they can't k n o w for a fact that what they think is upsetting t h e m is true. A shift has already b e g u n to h a p p e n .

3. How do you react when you think that thought/tell yourself that story? This question gets y o u in t o u c h with the negative cons e q u e n c e s , stress, a n d u p s e t o f y o u r mind-set. I t q u i c k l y becomes

obvious

that

continuing

to

view

the

world

t h r o u g h this f r a m e is u n p r o d u c t i v e at best a n d d o w n right d a m a g i n g at worst.

4. Who would you be without that thought/ story? I n o r d e r t o honestly a n s w e r this q u e s t i o n , y o u h a v e t o m o v e outside the limitations of the negative perspective y o u originally wrote down. Simultaneously, you begin to feel better almost immediately.

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A t this p o i n t , m o s t p e o p l e a r e r e a d y t o l e t t h e b u r d e n o f t h e u p s e t g o a n d e m b r a c e t h e i r n e w stress-free m i n d set. Y o u c a n w o r k w i t h t h e s e q u e s t i o n s a n y t i m e y o u w a n t to step b e y o n d a limiting perspective.

POSSIBILITY Q U E S T I O N S O n e o f t h e d i f f e r e n c e s b e t w e e n g e n i u s e s like Einstein a n d m a n y o f t h e o t h e r scientists o f his d a y was that h e a s k e d s m a r t e r questions. T h e types o f q u e s t i o n Einstein particularly e x c e l l e d at are w h a t I call "possibility questions." T h e s e are questions that focus the m i n d on what is possible but may n o t have ever b e e n considered before. T h i n k of a situation in w h i c h you've b e e n feeling a bit stuck a n d ask y o u r s e l f the f o l l o w i n g possibility questions:

•

W h a t w o u l d h a p p e n if this j u s t w a s n ' t a p r o b l e m

•

W h a t w o u l d it take f o r e v e r y t h i n g to be all right?

•

If I k n e w t h e r e was a s i m p l e s o l u t i o n , w h a t w o u l d

anymore?

it b e ? •

W h a t h a v e n ' t I t h o u g h t of yet?

•

If I m a d e an a s t o u n d i n g b r e a k t h r o u g h in this a r e a , w h a t w o u l d it be like?

R e m e m b e r the g o l d e n rule:

You always get more of what you focus on in life.

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S o it's vitally i m p o r t a n t t o a c k n o w l e d g e a n d c o n c e n trate o n y o u r successes, g r e a t a n d s m a l l — o n what's really healthy and rewarding around you.

Empowering Questions Here is a technique you can use to put the power of a positive perspective to work in your own life, starting now. I ask myself these questions every morning; they force me to go into a positive state in order to answer them. The more specific you are, the richer the positive state you will create! • W h o or what in my life makes me feel happiest? • Who or what in my life makes me feel most loved? • W h o or what in my life makes me feel richest? • Who or what in my life makes me feel most passionate? • W h o or what in my life makes me feel most empowered? As I answer each question, I build up a vivid representation of whatever it is I am thinking about, then amplify it. For example, when I am thinking about what really makes me feel happy, I make the colors brighter, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. By the time I've asked and answered each question, my entire outlook has c h a n g e d for the better, and I'm ready to take on the day!

91

PAUL

MCKENNA

A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON RELATIONSHIPS T h e secret of getting along well with others is to be able t o s e e t h e w o r l d t h r o u g h t h e i r e y e s , or, a s t h e N a t i v e A m e r i c a n s p u t it, " t o w a l k a m i l e i n t h e i r m o c c a s i n s . " The

power of perspective

helped the

great Indian

leader M a h a t m a G a n d h i b e c o m e a legendary negotiator. S e e i n g f r o m m a n y perspectives gave h i m flexibility i n his thinking a n d actions that h e l p e d h i m to b e c o m e a powe r f u l n e g o t i a t o r . S o m e say h e e v e n b r o u g h t a b o u t t h e end

of the

British

Empire

because

he

was

flexible

e n o u g h to imagine seeing things from the perspective of his o p p o n e n t s . D u r i n g the n e g o t i a t i o n s o v e r the future of India, he w o u l d view the situation f r o m every possible perspective, even imagining himself standing over the s h o u l d e r o f his n e g o t i a t i o n partners a n d sitting i n their seats u n t i l h e felt h e a l m o s t k n e w t h e i r t h o u g h t s . B e c a u s e he t o o k the time to p r e p a r e so thoroughly, it was as t h o u g h h e h a d a n a n s w e r f o r all o f t h e i r c o n s i d e r a t i o n s a n d c o n c e r n s before discussions started. In my own experience, I believe that w h e n attempting to see a situation f r o m the viewpoint of others it is important to bear o n e thing in mind:

People do what they do in order to achieve some purpose or fulfill some need. I personally p r e f e r to believe that m o s t p e o p l e have a positive intention b e h i n d their behavior, e v e n w h e n they

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are taking a position that seems contentious or contrary to o u r o w n best interests. W h e n I e n c o u n t e r a situation s u c h a s t h a t , I o f t e n a s k myself: " W h a t b e n e f i c i a l i n t e n t i o n c o u l d b e b e h i n d this b e h a v i o r ? " T h i s h e l p s m e t o a p p r o a c h t h e conflict f r o m a m u c h m o r e resourceful perspective. If you're currently e x p e r i e n c i n g a conflict in o n e or m o r e o f y o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p s , p u t this s i m p l e e x e r c i s e t o t h e test:

Putting Your Relationships into Perspective 1. Think of s o m e b o d y you are having a problem with. Return to the situation where you had a conflict, or imagine that person is standing in front of you now. S e e what you see, hear your internal dialogue, and take note of how you feel. Now float up out of yourself and let those feelings go. 2. Next, float into the shoes of the person you don't g e t along with. If you like, you can even imagine putting on that person's head like a virtual reality helmet. Notice how the world looks from their perspective. S e e yourself through their eyes. What might they be saying to themselves about the situation? How d o e s it feel to be in their shoes? Now float out of that person and let those feelings g o . 3. Next, think of someone whose intelligence and wisdom you admire. It can be a friend, a mentor, or even a character from history. Step into their shoes and

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imagine them watching the t w o of you interact. How would they perceive this situation as a neutral o b server? Move to a position where you can s e e both yourself and the person you were having the problem with. Observe what's going on with "those people over there." What are they doing? What kinds of thing are they saying to each other? What kinds of insight do you gain inside the mind of this wise mentor? What advice do they have for you? 4. Finally, take what you've learned and step back into your own shoes. Look at the person you were having the problems with in new ways, and c h o o s e at least one thing to say or do to move toward a happy resolution.

THE P O W E R O F B E L I E F S T h e m o s t powerful frame we can use to shape o u r perspective is what we c h o o s e to believe a b o u t ourselves a n d t h e w o r l d . O v e r t h e years I've o f t e n s e e n h o w o n e b e l i e f can m e a n the difference between ordinary workers and C E O s , success a n d failure, also-rans a n d w o r l d c h a m p i ons. O u r beliefs can d e t e r m i n e o u r level o f intelligence, o u r happiness, the quality of o u r relationships, e v e n o u r health a n d success. In m a n y ways, w h a t we believe has a far g r e a t e r influe n c e o n o u r life t h a n o b j e c t i v e t r u t h . F o r e x a m p l e , i t doesn't

really

matter

how

far y o u

94

travel

around

the

Change


w o r l d — y o u w o n ' t fall o f f it. B u t f o r t h o u s a n d s o f y e a r s , t h e c o m m o n l y h e l d b e l i e f t h a t t h e e a r t h was flat m e a n t that m o s t p e o p l e d i d n ' t e v e n a t t e m p t t o travel b e y o n d t h e horiz o n . I t o n l y t o o k o n e m a n w h o w a s w i l l i n g t o s e e t h i n g s differently to transform the experience of the planet. Beliefs are the windows t h r o u g h w h i c h y o u view the world. If y o u r "belief window" is covered with too m u c h negativity—ideas

such

as

"The

world

is

a

dangerous

p l a c e " or " P e o p l e c a n ' t be t r u s t e d " — y o u will see a d a n gerous world filled with untrustworthy people. replace

If you

the beliefs on y o u r w i n d o w with positive o n e s

s u c h as " T h e w o r l d is a friendly p l a c e " a n d "I c a n trust m y s e l f , " y o u g e t t o live i n a f r i e n d l y w o r l d w h e r e y o u a r e a b l e t o m a k e s m a r t c h o i c e s a b o u t e v e r y a s p e c t o f y o u r life. Y o u r beliefs d e t e r m i n e y o u r decisions, h o w y o u feel a b o u t t h i n g s , a n d ultimately t h e d i r e c t i o n y o u g o i n life. T h e y control everything about you. In the same way that a movie projector puts an i m a g e f r o m a piece of film o n t o a screen, what y o u perceive in the w o r l d is a manifestation of the beliefs y o u h o l d in your m i n d . If y o u are w o n d e r i n g w h a t y o u r beliefs are, t h e n l o o k a t h o w y o u f e e l a b o u t y o u r life. D o y o u f e e l i n c o n t r o l ? D o y o u feel e m p o w e r e d ? D o y o u feel e x c e p t i o n a l levels of happiness most of the time? If n o t , this final s e c t i o n of today's l e s s o n will be v e r y important for you.

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PAUL

The

legendary

about

psychologist

McKENNA

Abraham

Maslow

told

this

story

the power of beliefs: A patient

had

no

he was a corpse,

regard for himself because

he

believed

and his psychiatrist spent many sessions

trying to convince him that he wasn't a corpse. Finally corpses

one

bled.

"Corpses tions

have

day

The patient was don't bleed," he

an

asked

the

patient

if

adamant.

insisted.

"All their bodily func-

stopped."

The psychiatrist in

the psychiatrist

experiment

then

persuaded

where he

needle to see if it bled.

the

would prick

Sure enough,

patient his

to

hand

partake with

a

as the needle pricked

his skin he began to bleed. With a look of amazement the patient said:

"Well,

I'll be

darned . . . corpses do bleed!"

THE S E V E N K E Y B E L I E F S O F HIGH A C H I E V E R S O v e r the years I have h a d the opportunity to w o r k with and

study

many

people

who

are

widely

considered

geniuses in o u r culture. T h e s e are extraordinary individuals f r o m t h e fields o f the arts, business, sports, a n d s o o n . As a result of the w o r k I have d o n e with t h e m , here are what I have discovered to be the seven core success perspectives of happy, healthy high achievers. R e m e m b e r , a belief is no m o r e than a p e r s p e c t i v e — a w i n d o w t h r o u g h which w e view the world. W h e n y o u

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choose to view the world through the window of these positive perspectives, y o u create a m o r e resourceful p o i n t of view a n d can b e g i n e x p e r i e n c i n g b r e a k t h r o u g h s in y o u r life i m m e d i a t e l y . D o n ' t w o r r y a b o u t w h e t h e r o r n o t y o u actually t h i n k t h e s e t h i n g s a r e t r u e — - j u s t v i v i d l y i m a g i n e n o w w h a t y o u r life w o u l d b e like i f y o u k n e w t h a t . . .

1. You Are the Expert on You T h e r e is an old Sufi story a b o u t a m a n w h o was l o o k i n g f o r his keys o u t s i d e his h o m e u n d e r t h e b r i g h t streetl a m p s t h a t lit h i s r o a d . M a n y o f h i s n e i g h b o r s j o i n e d h i m i n his s e a r c h , until o n e f i n a l l y asked, " W h e r e d i d y o u lose y o u r keys?" T h e m a n replied, "Inside m y house." A m a z e d , the n e i g h b o r asked, " T h e n why are you looking out here?" T h e m a n replied,

"Because there's m o r e light out

here." T h e simple fact is that n o b o d y knows y o u better than y o u k n o w yourself. E v e n i f y o u h a v e s p e n t y o u r e n t i r e life s e a r c h i n g for answers outside yourself,

o n c e y o u start

l o o k i n g w i t h i n , t h e p e r f e c t a n s w e r s t o l i f e ' s q u e s t i o n s will p o p out more and more.

2. You Are Not Broken; You Do Not Need to Be "Fixed" In the n i n e t e e n t h century, the c o n c e p t of p e o p l e b e i n g " b r o k e n " g r a b b e d h o l d of the nascent psychiatric c o m munity a n d b e c a m e the standard for m o r e than a hundred

years.

Geniuses

such

97

as

Richard

Bandler

and

PAUL

McKENNA

m o d e r n psychologists led by such innovators as Martin S e l i g m a n a n d M i h a l y C s i k s z e n t m i h a l y i see t h i n g s differendy. T h e e m e r g i n g field of positive psychology is built on the premise that if we want to replicate mental health, we n e e d to study p e o p l e w h o are healthy, n o t those that a r e sick. I ' v e l e a r n e d i n m y y e a r s o f w o r k i n g w i t h p e o p l e i n all w a l k s o f life t h a t e v e r y o n e d o e s w h a t t h e y d o f o r a v e r y g o o d reason, even t h o u g h the reason may seem inappropriate to the outside world. A n y dysfunctional behavior has a positive intent or o n c e served a p u r p o s e that has since b e e n outgrown. F o r e x a m p l e , if s o m e o n e has a fear of flying, it m i g h t be for any n u m b e r of reasons, b u t if we assume the p h o b i a h a s a p o s i t i v e i n t e n t , w e k n o w i t will p r o b a b l y c o m e d o w n t o t h e desire t o b e safe. A s y o u r u n c o n s c i o u s m i n d f i n d s n e w w a y s o f k e e p i n g y o u safe w i t h o u t t h e u n n e c e s s a r y p h o b i c r e s p o n s e , t h e p h o b i a itself b e c o m e s unnecessary. This is why using m o d e r n psychological techniques, we can now cure lifetime phobias in a matter of minutes.

3. You Already Have All the Resources You Need to Succeed A r e y o u confident a b o u t tying your shoelaces or shopp i n g for groceries? T h e n y o u already have the resource of c o n f i d e n c e within you. T h e r e f o r e , y o u can feel confident about speaking in public, approaching a person y o u feel attracted to, or a n y t h i n g else y o u desire. H a v e y o u ever felt love in y o u r heart, for a parent,

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child, or a pet? T h e n y o u can be m o r e loving with your p a r t n e r , y o u r family, o r e v e n yourself. T h e only difference between you a n d s o m e o n e w h o is already living their genius is learning h o w to access y o u r resources at the appropriate times. This b o o k helps y o u to do that!

4. You Can Accomplish Anything if You Break the Task Doum into Small Enough Chunks A few years a g o a m a n ate an airplane o v e r a p e r i o d of a few m o n t h s by b r e a k i n g it d o w n i n t o tiny p i e c e s . W h i l e I certainly d o n ' t r e c o m m e n d a t t e m p t i n g to replicate his f e a t , t h e f a c t i s t h a t a n y skill c a n b e l e a r n e d a n d a n y p r o b l e m solved if it is b r o k e n d o w n into small e n o u g h pieces. W h e n y o u t r a i n y o u r b r a i n t o l o o k a t h u g e tasks i n t e r m s o f s i m p l e , a c h i e v a b l e s t e p s , t h e h u g e tasks b e c o m e m u c h m o r e p o s s i b l e . W e naturally d o this already. F o r example, when you want to remember a p h o n e number, you break it into smaller chunks; if you want to buy an e x p e n s i v e item, like a car or a h o u s e , y o u pay in small, m a n a g e a b l e installments. My p o i n t is this:

If you want to knock down the wall between you and the life of your dreams, it's best to do it one brick at a time!

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5. If What You Are Doing Isn't Working, Do Something Else In h i s b e s t s e l l i n g b u s i n e s s b o o k author

Spencer Johnson

Who Moved My Cheese?,

points

out

the

difference

b e t w e e n h u m a n s a n d rats. I f rats d i s c o v e r w h a t t h e y ' r e d o i n g isn't w o r k i n g , they d o s o m e t h i n g else; i f h u m a n s discover w h a t they're d o i n g isn't w o r k i n g , they l o o k for someone to blame! I o f t e n h e a r p e o p l e w h o a r e s t u c k say, " B u t I ' v e always d o n e it like that" or "I'm j u s t n o t that k i n d of person." T h e t r u t h is, w h a t f e e l s n o r m a l t o u s i s m o r e a p r o d u c t o f o u r p r o g r a m m i n g than of o u r potential. If you want to begin p r o d u c i n g d i f f e r e n t r e s u l t s i n y o u r life, y o u ' l l n e e d t o s t e p outside your c o m f o r t z o n e a n d do s o m e t h i n g different.

6. There Is No Such Thing as Failure, Only Feedback W h e n have y o u failed? W h e n y o u d e c i d e Wouldyou like me to give you a formula

to

stop

learning.

Until

then,

every

response you get is valuable information

for success ? It's quite

t h a t c a n b e u s e d t o tell y o u w h e t h e r y o u r

simple, really. Double

a c t i o n s a r e t a k i n g y o u c l o s e r t o o r far-

your rate of failure.

ther away f r o m w h a t y o u want. In the

—Thomas J. Watson,

s a m e way, w h e n a n a i r p l a n e flies t o its

founder of IBM

d e s t i n a t i o n , it's o f f c o u r s e 9 0 p e r c e n t o f t h e t i m e , c o n s t a n t l y a d j u s t i n g its f l i g h t path to keep on course.

In fact, successful p e o p l e

recognize

that success

is

w h a t h a p p e n s w h e n y o u ' r e d o n e failing. I n m y experi-

100

Change Youf~Life in Seven Days

_

ence, the people who've m a d e it have o n e t h i n g in c o m m o n — t h e y ' v e m a d e more

mistakes

haven't.

than

Every

the

mistake

people

or

failure

^ âve learnt more

who is

from a

l e a r n i n g o p p o r t u n i t y in d i s g u i s e . Failure

is

a

requisite

part

t

m y failures

^

lan

m

y

s u c c e s s e s

—Richard Branson of the

learning process, not the e n d of the learning process. In fact, p e o p l e d o n ' t f a i l — s t r a t e g i e s , tactics, a n d p l a n s fail. W h a t d o y o u d o i f y o u r s t r a t e g y , t a c t i c , o r p l a n fails t o p r o d u c e t h e d e s i r e d result? C h a n g e y o u r strategy, tactic, or plan until y o u find o n e that succeeds! F e a r o f f a i l u r e i s a p o t e n t d e m o t i v a t o r , b u t i t l o s e s its p o w e r o v e r u s i f w e l e s s e n its e m o t i o n a l c h a r g e . T h i s w e e k , c h o o s e a n a r e a o f y o u r l i f e w h e r e y o u ' r e h a v i n g difficulty a n d give y o u r s e l f p e r m i s s i o n t o fail a t least t e n times. You'll have to define failure for y o u r s e l f — i f y o u ' r e i n sales, this m i g h t m e a n c o l l e c t i n g a t least t e n rejections; if y o u ' r e a writer, give y o u r s e l f p e r m i s s i o n to write at least ten lousy pages. Success is often m a d e sweeter w h e n it takes a litde effort t o a r r i v e at. O n c e y o u r e a l i z e t h a t f a i l u r e i s n o t a n e n d b u t r a t h e r a n o c c a s i o n a l l y f r u s t r a t i n g s t e p p i n g - s t o n e , i t l o s e s its negative c h a r g e a n d b e c o m e s a n essential c o m p a n i o n o n y o u r j o u r n e y to happiness, success, a n d well-being.

7. You Are Creating Your Future Now W h e n I am w o r k i n g with a private client on his or h e r g o a l , I will o f t e n ask, "If y o u carry on as y o u are, will y o u a c h i e v e it?"

101

-

PAUL

McKENNA

T o m y a m a z e m e n t , t h e y always k n o w t h e answer, a n d m o r e often than not that answer is no. O n e o f t h e m o s t s i g n i f i c a n t d i f f e r e n c e s I've n o t i c e d between

the

people

who

succeed

and

the

ones

who

struggle is w h e t h e r they l o o k into the past or the p r e s e n t t o c r e a t e their f u t u r e . I f y o u c o n t i n u a l l y l o o k t o t h e past, y o u will always f e e l t h a t h i s t o r y i s d o o m e d t o r e p e a t itself; i f y o u l o o k t o t h e p r e s e n t , y o u will always f i n d t h e r e i s s o m e n e w c h o i c e y o u c a n m a k e t o e n h a n c e y o u r possibilities. N o m a t t e r h o w m u c h y o u ' v e s t r u g g l e d i n t h e past, every m o m e n t of every day provides you with an opportunity t o m a k e n e w c h o i c e s a n d create n e w results.

The New Belief Generator I'd like to finish today with a simple exercise for your imagination that will enable you to train your unconscious mind to operate out of a new perspective more easily. C h o o s e one of the seven beliefs you have just read about that you believe will make a real difference in the way you live your life. . . . 1. Stop for a moment and imagine that in front of you is "another you"—A "you" that already holds that belief you would like to make your own. Maybe you believe that you are confident, motivated, deserve love, and are full of happy, vibrant energy.

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Change


2. Now, imagine what already having that belief enables that other you to achieve. Is that other you motivated? Confident? Strong? Successful? 3. Imagine that other you demonstrating those things effortlessly. How do they behave? How do they talk to themselves? What kind of voice tone do they use? How do they carry themselves? How do they move? 4. If it isn't quite how you want it, make the adjustments that make you feel better. Allow your intuition to be your guide. 5. When you're satisfied with the other you, step into them. Take the new perspective and behaviors into you. 6. Now think of a situation that you would like to view from your new perspective. Think through what it's like to have that new perspective and what it will help you to achieve. How are things going to be so much better now? 7. For the next few weeks, act as if your new belief is true. Even if it feels like you're making it up, this will teach your brain to run the new software of this positive perspective.

W h e n y o u harness the p o w e r of a positive perspective i n y o u r o w n life, y o u g e t t o m a k e e v e r y d a y a g r e a t o n e ! Until tomorrow, Paul

PS. heart

McKenna

In just twenty-four hours, of our

seven-day

we will move forward into

adventure—the

dreams come true. . . .

103

secret

the

of making your

DAY

4

DREAM SETTING Discover what you truly want and make your dreams come true

PAUL

MCKENNA

Before you begin today:

• Listen to the hypnotic trance (www.paulmckenna.com/trance). • Take a few minutes to go through the "Reprogramming Your Self-Image" exercise on p a g e 3 5 . • Use the power of perspective by asking yourself the power questions from day three:

1. Who or what in your life makes you feel happiest? in answering the question, you will inevitably begin to feel happier. Now let's amplify that feeling —make the images bigger, brighter, and bolder, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. Notice where those feelings are strongest and give them a color. Now, move that color and feeling up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes until it fills your whole body. . . .

2. Who or what in your life makes you feel most loved? O n c e again let's amplify that feeling —make the images bigger, brighter, and bolder, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. Notice where those feelings are strongest and give them a color. Now, move that color and feeling up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes until it fills your whole body. . . .

106


3. Who or what in your life makes you feel richest? Amplify that feeling of richness—make the images bigger, brighter, and bolder, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. Notice where those feelings are strongest and give them a color. Now, move that color and feeling up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes until it fills your whole body. . . .

4. Who or what in your life makes you feel most passionate? Again, amplify the feelings by making the images bigger, brighter, and bolder, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. Notice where those feelings are strongest and give them a color. Now, move that color and feeling up to the t o p of your head and down to the tip of your toes until it fills your whole body. . . .

5. Who or what in your life makes you feel most empowered? You can amplify these feelings of power by making the images bigger, brighter, and bolder, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. Notice where those feelings are strongest and give them a color. Now, move that color and feeling up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes until it fills your whole body. . . .

107

PAUL

McKENNA

6. Create an anchor for this super state! While you feel this g o o d , think about the rest of the day ahead, feeling and imagining things going perfectly, going the way you want them to go. S e e what you'll see, hear what you'll hear, and feel how g o o d it feels. As you go through the ritual of building this super state each day, it has a powerful cumulative effect. You will soon begin to experience life in a completely different way. Instead of manipulating the world to make you feel g o o d , you can begin each day feeling the w a y you want to feel.

108

A I

\ man was walking along a beach, reflecting on his life. He

had always wanted to make a difference, but no matter what he tried,

he wound up feeling as though he was spitting into the

wind. Suddenly,

the man heard a loud crunch,

his feet. Right where he was standing, could see in either direction,

and looked down at

and for as far as the eye

there were thousands upon thou-

sands of tiny starfish washed up onto the shore by the ocean waves and tide. The

man

continued

walking,

thinking to

himself about

the

apparent cruelty of the ocean. After all, those starfish hadn't done anything wrong! Yet before the day was done, they would be dead, washed up on the shore and left to die. After a time, the man came across an old woman standing at the ocean's edge,

throwing starfish that had washed up on shore

back into the sea. 109

PAUL

McKENNA

When he asked her what she was doing, always wanted to make a difference,

she said she had

and she had decided that

today was a good day to begin. The man looked from her to the thousands upon thousands of starfish that lay dying along the coastline and said,

"For every

starfish you throw back into the ocean, three more wash up onto the shore! How can you possibly be making a difference?" The woman looked thoughtful for a moment. up another starfish and threw it back into the sea. ence to that one," she said,

Then she picked "Made a differ-

and she smiled the most beautiful

smile the man had ever seen.

110

THE G O A L O F S E T T I N G G O A L S I'm sure you've heard about the import a n c e of g o a l s b e f o r e , so at first g l a n c e ,

The purpose of life is

s o m e of w h a t I ' m g o i n g to s h a r e w i t h

a

uf

e

0

f purpose.

y o u t o d a y m a y s e e m familiar. Y o u m a y

Robert Byrne

have e v e n set goals in the past a n d g o t all e x c i t e d a b o u t a c h i e v i n g t h e m , o n l y to find that y o u r motivation w a n e d w h e n what y o u h a d set i n m o t i o n d i d n ' t c o m e t o pass. O r p e r h a p s y o u g o t what y o u t h o u g h t y o u wanted, only to discover it wasn't, a n d y o u w e r e l e f t t o r e f l e c t , "Is t h i s all t h e r e i s ? " B u t d o n ' t b e f o o l e d o r t e m p t e d t o skip a h e a d — t o d a y i s g o i n g t o b e different. T h e c r u c i a l d i f f e r e n c e i s that this time we're g o i n g to p u t goals in their p r o p e r p l a c e — a s servants of a b e t t e r life. Today y o u ' r e g o i n g to learn a w h o l e n e w way of thinki n g a b o u t w h a t i t i s y o u w a n t i n life. G o a l s a r e actually t h e least i m p o r t a n t p a r t o f t h e

three-step process y o u will

learn. U s i n g the a m a z i n g techniques in today's lesson, I ' m g o i n g t o h e l p y o u take c o n t r o l o f y o u r life a n d steer it in the direction you want. B y the time y o u ' r e f i n i s h e d today, y o u ' l l n o t only b e clearer than ever about what it is that y o u want, you'll also

have

begun

to

p r o g r a m your goals

directly into your unconscious

mind.

t h e m easier to achieve than ever before!

Ill

and dreams

T h i s will

make

PAUL

McKENNA

T H R E E S T E P S T O A W O N D E R F U L LIFE T h e r e are essentially only three things y o u n e e d to have a w o n d e r f u l life: 1. A clear d i r e c t i o n (your d r e a m ) 2. A w e l l - a l i g n e d c o m p a s s (your values) 3 . M i l e s t o n e s y o u c a n visit a l o n g t h e w a y t o y o u r u l t i mate destination (your goals)

F o r o u r p u r p o s e s , w e c a n t h i n k a b o u t i t like this:

When you pursue your goals guided All men dream, but not all equally. Those

by your values in the context of your dreams, miracles happen!

who dream by night, in the dusty recesses

D R E A M E R S O F THE DAY

of their minds, wake to find it was all vanity. But the

W e all h a v e d r e a m s — d e e p l y felt desires

dreamers of the day

for

are dangerous, for

m o m e n t n o w j u s t to fantasize,

they may act their

your

dreams with open

dream.

eyes, and make things

a

different,

mind

better

life.

wander—literally

Take

to let

to

Answer the following question:

happen.

—T. E. Lawrence

What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

112

a

day-

Change


If y o u paused and considered the question for even a moment,

you've just

done

what

all

truly

successful

p e o p l e t h r o u g h o u t history have d o n e — u s e d a purposeful state of d a y d r e a m i n g to access t h e creative r e a l m . N i k o l a Tesla, the inventor of alternating c u r r e n t ( A C ) and holder of 1 1 1

other U.S. patents, could design a

m a c h i n e p e r f e c t l y i n his m i n d a n d o p e r a t e i t m e n t a l l y f o r y e a r s b e f o r e e v e r c r e a t i n g its c o u n t e r p a r t i n t h e p h y s ical world. Einstein i m a g i n e d riding t h r o u g h space on a b e a m o f l i g h t t o d e v e l o p h i s t h e o r y o f relativity; M o z a r t h e a r d w h o l e s y m p h o n i e s already c o m p l e t e d in his crea t i v e m i n d . M i c h e l a n g e l o , G o e t h e , a n d W a l t D i s n e y all entered

the

creative

daydream

or

reverie

daily

as

a

source of ideas a n d inspiration. W h a t all t h e s e i n n o v a t o r s w e r e d o i n g w a s a f o r m o f v i s u a l i z a t i o n , s e l f - h y p n o s i s , or, a s it's k n o w n i n t h e c o r p o rate w o r l d , strategic p l a n n i n g , w h i c h I will be s h a r i n g w i t h y o u later i n this c h a p t e r . A l l o f u s n e e d t o e n g a g e i n t h i s c r e a t i v e activity. I n f a c t , t h e m o r e t i m e y o u s p e n d i n creative d r e a m i n g , t h e m o r e successful y o u will b e c o m e . W h y i s this s t a t e o f c r e a t i v e r e v e r i e s o i m p o r t a n t ?

Because for anything to happen in the real world it first has to happen in the imaginary world. Stop

reading and look

a r o u n d y o u — a l m o s t every-

t h i n g y o u can see started as a t h o u g h t in s o m e o n e ' s h e a d . I n o r d e r f o r y o u t o i m p r o v e y o u r life, y o u r s e l f , o r the world, y o u first n e e d to allow yourself to d r e a m .

113

PAUL

McKENNA

D I S C O V E R I N G Y O U R BIG D R E A M Viktor Frankl,

a famous psychologist,

Success, like

w

happiness, cannot b e

c e n t r a t i o n c a m p d u r i n g W o r l d W a r II.

a

i m p r i s o n e d by the Nazis in a con-

s

pursued; it must

R a t h e r t h a n s e e h i m s e l f as a v i c t i m of

ensue . . . as the

even, such

unattained side effect

of

n e

ones

exceptional

circumstances,

derided instead to make a personal

study of w h a t w e r e

the

psychological

personal dedication

d i f f e r e n c e s b e t w e e n t h e o n e in twenty-

to a couise greater

eight prisoners w h o survived the e x t r e m e

than oneself

deprivation a n d the vast majority w h o

—Viktor Frankl ^ J ^ J

n

o

j-

He observed that those w h o m a d e it t h r o u g h w e r e n o t n e c e s s a r i l y t h e fittest, h e a l t h i e s t , o r most intelligent, but rather those w h o h a d a purpose to live f o r — a d r e a m o f sufficient size, s c o p e , a n d m e a n i n g that they h a d a b u r n i n g desire to overcome any obstacle. Dreams were what kept them going. W h e n the m i n d has a target, it can focus a n d direct i t s e l f u n t i l i t r e a c h e s its g o a l . I f y o u h a v e n o t a r g e t , t h e n your energy is dissipated. Yet what y o u achieve in y o u r pursuit of success is often n o t as i m p o r t a n t as w h o y o u b e c o m e in the process. Here's the great secret of o u r dreams:

When you're working on a truly worthwhile dream, the dream is also working on you.

114


In the 1960s U.S. p r e s i d e n t J o h n F. K e n n e d y talked

When

of putting a m a n on

the

the m o o n . He told Americans:

asked

most positive

things

that

came

W e c h o o s e t o g o t o t h e m o o n i n this

about as a result of

d e c a d e a n d do the other things, n o t

America's

b e c a u s e t h e y a r e easy, b u t b e c a u s e

ment in the space

they are

race,

hard—because

that g o a l

involve-

most scientists

will serve t o o r g a n i z e a n d m e a s u r e

agree that it was

t h e b e s t o f o u r e n e r g i e s a n d skills.

neither the

ad-

Because that challenge is o n e that

vances

engineer-

in

we are willing to accept, o n e we are

ing or rocket design

unwilling

nor even the dis-

to

postpone,

and

one

coveries

which we intend to win.

about

geological Just as g o i n g to college isn't a b o u t

not just

about

getting

what

you

the

forma-

tions on the moon. It was rather the

getting a piece of paper, d r e a m setting is

about

discovery

of a cure

want—it's about b e c o m i n g m o r e than

for smallpox,

you ever thought you could be.

came about as a

I

do

believe

that

having

goals

is

result

which

of research

essential, because they give y o u a direc-

into how to keep

t i o n in life. Y o u w o u l d n ' t set o u t in a

the

boat without a r u d d e r — y o u could end

from

astronauts any

diseases

u p a n y w h e r e . W e all k n o w t h o s e p e o p l e

they might en-

w h o leave everything to chance, getting

counter

in

space.

tossed a r o u n d b y life's r a n d o m events. I also believe that k n o w i n g w h a t y o u r values are is excellent,

because

happiness

115

comes

from

safe

living y o u r

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away y o u r goals m a y s e e m to be. B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n survive a l m o s t a n y t h i n g if t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e truly g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n h i s t o r y h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y had a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w your goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .

W H A T IF I D O N ' T K N O W WHAT TO DREAM? S t u d i e s h a v e s h o w n t h a t less t h a n 3 p e r A goal is nothing more than a dream with a deadline. —JoeL. Griffith

cent

of us w r i t e

down

our

goals.

We

d o n ' t b o t h e r to d e s i g n o u r d e s t i n y , p r e f e r r i n g to s t u m b l e t h r o u g h l i f e , l e a v e things to c h a n c e , a n d w o n d e r why we f e e l s o b a d . I n fact, m o s t p e o p l e will

s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful bask e t b a l l c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o fail." I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come about,

then focus your m i n d u p o n your

d r e a m regularly.

116

Change


B a c k i n t h e l a t e 1 9 8 0 s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d m y s e l f , " I f I c o n t i n u e a l o n g t h e p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e w i l l I b e five y e a r s f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I c a r r i e d on with my d a y - t o - d a y h a b i t u a l p a t t e r n s o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , five years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or financially.

I'd just be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a little b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at the e n d o f this chapter. T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e enerey.

my ' finances t o o k a significant u p t u r n , a n d I &/

Opportunities

flooded

in,

rr

The talent i s i n the choices.

b e c a m e very well '

known.

I began °

to —Robert De Niro

attract the k i n d o f p e o p l e a r o u n d m e t h a t I always w a n t e d t o s p e n d t i m e w i t h , a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e my d r e a m s c o m i n g true, b u t I was finally living a w o n d e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away your goals m a y s e e m to b e . B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n surv i v e a l m o s t a n y t h i n g i f t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e t r u l y g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n h i s t o r y h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y had a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w y o u r goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .

W H A T IF I D O N ' T K N O W WHAT TO DREAM? S t u d i e s h a v e s h o w n t h a t less t h a n 3 p e r A goal i s nothing

c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u s

write

down

our

goals.

We

d o n ' t b o t h e r to d e s i g n o u r d e s t i n y , p r e -

with a deadline.

f e r r i n g to s t u m b l e t h r o u g h l i f e , l e a v e

—JoeL. Griffith

things to c h a n c e , a n d w o n d e r why we f e e l s o b a d . I n f a c t , m o s t p e o p l e will

s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y will m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful basketball c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o f a i l . " I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116

Change


B a c k in t h e late 1980s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d myself, "If I c o n t i n u e a l o n g the p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e w i l l I b e five y e a r s f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I carried on with my d a y - t o - d a y h a b i t u a l p a t t e r n s o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , five years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or financially.

I'd just be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t d e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at t h e e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances took a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well known.

I began

to

attract the k i n d o f p e o p l e a r o u n d m e

The latent is in the choices. —Robert lie Mm

t h a t I always w a n t e d t o s p e n d t i m e w i t h , a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e my d r e a m s c o m i n g true, b u t I was finally living a w o n d e r f u l life. Based on that experience a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away y o u r goals m a y s e e m to b e . B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n survive a l m o s t a n y t h i n g if t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e truly g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n h i s t o r y h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y had a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w your goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .


c e n t of us write d o w n o u r goals. We

more than a dream


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith

things to c h a n c e , a n d w o n d e r why we f e e l s o b a d . I n fact, m o s t p e o p l e will

s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful bask e t b a l l c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail to p l a n , p l a n to fail." I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116


B a c k in t h e late 1980s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d myself, "If I c o n t i n u e a l o n g t h e p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e w i l l I b e five y e a r s f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I carried on with my d a y - t o - d a y h a b i t u a l p a t t e r n s o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , five years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or financially.

I'd just be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t t l e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at t h e e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances took a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well k n o w n .

I began

to


The talent is in the choices. —Robert De Mm

t h a t I always w a n t e d t o s p e n d t i m e w i t h , a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e my d r e a m s c o m i n g true, b u t I was finally living a w o n d e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

McKENNA



c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u s

write

down

our

goals.

We


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith



about,

then focus your m i n d


116

upon your

Change


B a c k in t h e late 1980s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d myself, "If I c o n t i n u e a l o n g t h e p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e w i l l I b e five y e a r s f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I c a r r i e d on with my d a y - t o - d a y h a b i t u a l p a t t e r n s o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , five years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or financially.

I'd just be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a little b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at t h e e n d o f this chapter. T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances took a significant upturn, a n d I b e c a m e very well

known.

I began

to


The talent is in the choices. —Robert DeNiro


117

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away your goals m a y s e e m to be. B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n surv i v e a l m o s t a n y t h i n g i f t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e t r u l y g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n history h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y had a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w y o u r goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .

W H A T IF I D O N ' T K N O W WHAT TO DREAM? S t u d i e s h a v e s h o w n t h a t less t h a n 3 p e r A goal is nothing

cent

more than a dream

of us

write

down

our

goals.

We

don\ b o t h e r to d e s i g n o u r d e s t i n y , p r e -

with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith



about,



116

Change



emotionally,

or

financially.

I'd just

be five

y e a r s o l d e r , a little b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at t h e e n d o f this chapter. T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I suddenly f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances took a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well

known.

I began

to


The talent is in the choices. —Robert De Mm


117

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away y o u r goals m a y s e e m to b e . B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n surv i v e a l m o s t a n y t h i n g i f t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e t r u l y g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n history h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y h a d a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w your goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .

W H A T IF I D O N ' T K N O W WHAT TO DREAM? S t u d i e s h a v e s h o w n t h a t less t h a n 3 p e r A goal is nothing

c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u

s

w

r

j

t

e

down

our

goals.

We


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith

things to c h a n c e , a n d w o n d e r why we feel so b a d . In fact, m o s t p e o p l e will

s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful bask e t b a l l c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o f a i l . " I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116


B a c k in t h e late 1980s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d myself, "If I c o n t i n u e a l o n g the p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e w i l l I b e five y e a r s f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I carried on with my day-to-day h a b i t u a l patterns o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , f i v e years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or

financially.

I'd j u s t be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t t i e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like the o n e s at the e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e r e s u l t s w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d a r e o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances t o o k a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well known.

I began

to


The talent is in the choices. —Robert De Niro

that I always w a n t e d to s p e n d time with, a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e my d r e a m s c o m i n g true, b u t I was finally living a wond e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away y o u r goals m a y s e e m to b e . B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n surv i v e a l m o s t a n y t h i n g i f t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e t r u l y g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n h i s t o r y h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y had a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w y o u r goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .


c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u s

w

r

i

t

e

down

our

goals.

We


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith

things to c h a n c e , a n d w o n d e r why we feel s o b a d . I n fact, m o s t p e o p l e will

s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful basketball c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o f a i l . " I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116

Change


B a c k i n t h e l a t e 1 9 8 0 s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d m y s e l f , " I f I c o n t i n u e a l o n g t h e p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e will I b e five y e a r s f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I c a r r i e d on with my d a y - t o - d a y h a b i t u a l p a t t e r n s o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , five years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or financially.

I'd just be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t t l e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at t h e e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy. 67

Opportunities

flooded

rr

in,

my ;

finances took a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well k n o w n . I b e g a n to ' ° attract the k i n d o f p e o p l e a r o u n d m e

7 h e talent i s i n the . choices. —Robert De Niro

t h a t I always w a n t e d t o s p e n d t i m e w i t h , a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e m y d r e a m s c o m i n g t r u e , b u t I w a s finally l i v i n g a w o n d e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

McKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away y o u r goals m a y s e e m to b e . B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n surv i v e a l m o s t a n y t h i n g i f t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e t r u l y g r e a t a c h i e v e r s i n history h a d this a d d i t i o n a l f a c t o r i n c o m m o n — t h e y h a d a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w your goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .


c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u s

w r

ite

down

our

goals.

We


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith


s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful bask e t b a l l c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o f a i l . " I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116

Change


B a c k in t h e late 1980s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d myself, "If I c o n t i n u e a l o n g t h e p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e will I b e f i v e years f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I carried on with my day-to-day h a b i t u a l patterns o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , f i v e years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

or financially. I'd j u s t

be five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t t l e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like the o n e s at t h e e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances t o o k a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well known.

I

began

to


The latent is in the choices. —Robert De Niro

that I always w a n t e d to s p e n d time with, a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e my d r e a m s c o m i n g true, b u t I was finally living a wond e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

McKENNA



c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u s

w

r

i

t

e

down

our

goals.

We


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith

things to c h a n c e , a n d w o n d e r why we feel s o b a d . I n fact, m o s t p e o p l e will

s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful basketball c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o f a i l . " I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116

Change



emotionally,

or financially.

I'd just be

five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t t l e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like t h e o n e s at the e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e results w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d are o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy.

Opportunities

flooded

in,

my

finances took a significant u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well k n o w n .

I began

to


The talent is in the choices. —Robert DeNiro

t h a t I always w a n t e d t o s p e n d t i m e w i t h , a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e m y d r e a m s c o m i n g t r u e , b u t I w a s finally l i v i n g a w o n d e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d t r a i n i n g s t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

MCKENNA

v a l u e s e v e r y s i n g l e day, r e g a r d l e s s o f h o w c l o s e o r f a r away y o u r goals may s e e m to be. B u t j u s t a s V i k t o r F r a n k l f o u n d t h a t p e o p l e c a n surv i v e a l m o s t a n y t h i n g i f t h e y h a v e a p u r p o s e , all t h e t r u l y g r e a t achievers in history h a d this a d d i t i o n a l factor in c o m m o n — t h e y h a d a definite purpose, or dream. A n d k n o w i n g h o w y o u r goals a n d values reflect that d r e a m is t h e k e y t o b o t h s u c c e s s and f u l f i l l m e n t .

W H A T IF I D O N ' T K N O W WHAT TO DREAM? S t u d i e s h a v e s h o w n that less t h a n 3 perA goal i s nothing

c

more than a dream

e

n

t

Q

f

u s

w

r

i

t

e

down

our

goals.

We


with a deadline.


—JoeL. Griffith


s p e n d m o r e t i m e m a k i n g a list f o r t h e s u p e r m a r k e t t h a n t h e y w i l l m a k i n g a list o f t h e r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h e y w a n t i n life. Y e t a s J o h n W o o d e n , t h e m o s t successful basketball c o a c h i n c o l l e g e history, was f o n d o f saying, "If y o u fail t o p l a n , p l a n t o fail." I n e s s e n c e , all y o u n e e d t o d o i s t o t h i n k o f s o m e t h i n g y o u w a n t , i m a g i n e w h a t i t w o u l d b e l i k e t o h a v e it, c h e c k t o s e e i f it's o k a y f o r y o u t o h a v e it, t h i n k a b o u t h o w i t might come

about,



116

Change


B a c k i n t h e l a t e 1 9 8 0 s I sat d o w n a n d a s k e d m y s e l f , " I f I c o n t i n u e a l o n g the p r e s e n t c o u r s e I ' m o n , w h e r e will I e n d u p ? W h e r e will I be five years f r o m n o w ? " I was s h o c k e d to realize that if I carried on with my day-to-day h a b i t u a l p a t t e r n s o f t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , f i v e years f r o m n o w I w o u l d n ' t really be any m o r e fulfilled spiritually,

emotionally,

o r f i n a n c i a l l y . I ' d j u s t b e five

y e a r s o l d e r , a l i t t l e b i t m o r e p a r a n o i d , a n d still l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o day. S o I t o o k m y s e l f t h r o u g h t h e p r o c e s s I'll b e s h a r i n g with y o u today. I d i d visualizations like the o n e s at t h e e n d o f this c h a p t e r . T h e r e s u l t s w e r e a s t o u n d i n g , a n d a r e o n e o f t h e reas o n s y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k n o w . I i m m e d i a t e l y b e g a n t o feel better. I s u d d e n l y f o u n d I h a d m o r e energy. O p p o r t u n i t i e s f l o o d e d in, my finances t o o k a s i g n i f i c a n t u p t u r n , a n d I b e c a m e very well known. I b e g a n to ' attract the k i n d o f p e o p l e a r o u n d m e

. . Ihe talent is in the . choices. —Robert he Niro

that I always w a n t e d to s p e n d time with, a n d d o t h e t h i n g s I ' d always d r e a m e d o f d o i n g . N o t o n l y w e r e my d r e a m s c o m i n g true, b u t I was finally living a w o n d e r f u l life. Based on that e x p e r i e n c e a n d m a n y m o r e since then, h e r e is the seven-step system I use to g u i d e myself a n d t h o u s a n d s o f p e o p l e o n m y s e m i n a r s a n d trainings t o live t h e lives o f o u r d r e a m s .

117

PAUL

MCKENNA

THE D R E A M - S E T T I N G S Y S T E M W h a t m a k e s t h e d r e a m - s e t t i n g s y s t e m d i f f e r e n t f r o m traditional g o a l setting i s that w e b e g i n a n d e n d w i t h everyo n e ' s u l t i m a t e g o a l — l i v i n g a w o n d e r f u l life. In o r d e r to do this, it will first be n e c e s s a r y to i d e n tify y o u r c o r e v a l u e s — t h o s e t h i n g s t h a t m a k e y o u r life w o r t h living. T h e s e will act as a c o m p a s s f o r y o u r j o u r ney.

O n c e y o u a r e c l e a r o n y o u r values, w e will i d e n -

tify y o u r b i g d r e a m — t h e t h i n g t h a t g i v e s y o u a c l e a r s e n s e o f d i r e c t i o n a n d p u r p o s e . Finally, w h e n y o u r c o m pass is a l i g n e d a n d y o u r d i r e c t i o n is clear, we will f o c u s on

more

traditional

goals—the

mile

markers

on

the

road to your dreams and the building blocks of your w o n d e r f u l life. This

section

of Change

Your Life in

Seven Days m a y w e l l b e t h e m o s t i m p o r Things which matter

t a n t o f a l l , s o t a k e y o u r t i m e w i t h it.

most must never b e

G r a b a p e n a n d s o m e p a p e r a n d take

at the mercy of things

t h e t i m e to a n s w e r t h e q u e s t i o n s in as

which matter least.

m u c h detail as p o s s i b l e . D o n ' t w o r r y

—Goethe

a b o u t g e t t i n g it r i g h t — l i f e will r e w a r d every sincere effort to m a k e it better!

Step 1: The Most Important Things in the World W h a t w o u l d y o u d o i f the w o r l d was g o i n g t o e n d o n e w e e k f r o m today?

118

Change


Y o u r answer to that question is the key to identifying y o u r v a l u e s — t h o s e things that m a t t e r m o s t in y o u r life. I have worked with a n u m b e r of people w h o were at the e n d o f t h e i r lives. I a s k e d s o m e o f t h e m w h a t t h e y w i s h e d t h e y ' d d o n e m o r e o f a n d l e s s of. N o n e o f t h e m s a i d , " I wish I h a d a n o t h e r M e r c e d e s . " T h e y said things like, "I wish I'd l a u g h e d m o r e a n d l o v e d m o r e , " or "I wish I h a d s p e n t less t i m e w o r r y i n g . " I

was

shocked

recently

to

hear

one

motivational

speaker e x h o r t his a u d i e n c e to devote twenty-four h o u r s a day to the pursuit of their financial goals. "If y o u r family d o e s n ' t u n d e r s t a n d , " h e w e n t o n , " g e t a n e w f a m i l y . " A s his f o u r t h wife s m i l e d a n d n o d d e d a t t h e b a c k o f the r o o m , I t h o u g h t , " W h a t g o o d i s a s u c c e s s f u l c a r e e r i f it's at the cost of your marriage a n d y o u hardly ever see your children?" T h e o p p o r t u n i d e s t o l i v e a b u n d a n t i y a r e all a r o u n d us, b u t j u s t a c q u i r i n g t h e s y m b o l s o f success will n o t make us any happier. W h e n you learn to focus on your v a l u e s a n d y o u r life's p u r p o s e i n s t e a d o f j u s t y o u r g o a l s , y o u will a u t o m a t i c a l l y b e g i n t o take t h e b i g p i c t u r e o f y o u r life i n t o a c c o u n t . N o w m a k e a list o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s t h a t e m e r g e d from answering these questions.

Be sure

to

l o o k b e y o n d a n y m a t e r i a l t h i n g s o n y o u r list t o t h e s t a t e s o f b e i n g t h a t lie b e h i n d t h e m . For example, I r e m e m b e r in o n e of my seminars a man

did

this

exercise

and

discovered

that

the

most

i m p o r t a n t t h i n g i n his w o r l d was m o n e y . W h e n I a s k e d

119

PAUL

In

his

book

The

McKENNA

Power of Full

Engagement,

corpo-

rate coach Dr. James Loehr offers the following questions to help you get in touch with your core values—the most important things in your world: 1. Jump ahead to the end of your life. What are the three most important lessons you have learned, and why are they so critical?

2. Think of s o m e o n e you deeply respect. Describe three qualities in this person that you most admire.

3. W h o are you at your best?

4. What one-sentence inscription would you like to see on your tombstone that would capture who you really were in life?

120

Change


h i m w h a t having m o n e y w o u l d give h i m , h e took s o m e t i m e t o i m a g i n e h i m s e l f h a v i n g l o t s a n d l o t s o f t h e stuff. W h e n h e o p e n e d h i s e y e s , h e s a i d , " H a v i n g m o n e y will give me a f e e l i n g of security, a n d if I h a v e m o n e y , p e o p l e will r e s p e c t m e . " W h a t was really i m p o r t a n t t o h i m w e r e security a n d r e s p e c t — t h o s e w e r e t h e states o f b e i n g h e was p u r s u i n g m o n e y t o try t o e x p e r i e n c e . B a s e d o n y o u r list, c h o o s e y o u r t o p f i v e v a l u e s — t h e t h i n g s o n y o u r list y o u a b s o l u t e l y c a n n o t i m a g i n e g o i n g without. T h e s e five things are the very essence of what w i l l g i v e y o u r life m e a n i n g — t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t t h i n g s in your world. According

to

Paul

If you do nothing else but live

Asters book It's N o t

these values every single day,

How Good You Are,

you cannot imagine how fulfill-

It's H o w G o o d Y o u

ing your life will become!

W a n t t o B e , former Spice

Girl

Beckham's

Step 2: Brainstorm!

Victoria dream

was

not to be better than

W h e n it c o m e s to y o u r success, y o u

her bandmates

need to become unreasonable. You

even to be a famous

n e e d to have dreams that are b e y o n d

singer but to become

what you and everybody around you

a world brand.

thinks

her own words, she

of

as

possible.

As

George

B e r n a r d S h a w said, " T h e r e a s o n a b l e

described

m a n adapts himself to the world; the

by saying:

unreasonable

o n e persists i n trying

In

her dream "I want

to be as famous as Persil

121

or

Automatic."

PAUL McKENNA

t o a d a p t t h e w o r l d t o h i m s e l f . T h e r e f o r e , all p r o g r e s s d e p e n d s on the unreasonable man." W i t h y o u r v a l u e s firmly i n m i n d , m a k e a list o f everyt h i n g (yes, e v e r y t h i n g ) y o u w a n t now, h a v e w a n t e d i n t h e p a s t , o r c a n c o n c e i v e o f w a n t i n g i n the f u t u r e . J u s t g e t everything out of your head a n d d o w n You want what you want, whether or not you think you can get it. —Robert Fritz

o n p a p e r . I t i s n o t necessary t o h a v e a n y i n t e n t i o n o f actually g e t t i n g a n y o f t h e s e things,

nor

is

it necessary

that

you

believe getting any of the items on y o u r list i s p o s s i b l e . N o m a t t e r h o w w e i r d o r i m p o s s i b l e i t m a y s e e m , all y o u n e e d t o do is write it down!

T a k e a t l e a s t five m i n u t e s t o d o this n o w b e f o r e m o v i n g on to step 3.

Step 3: The Big Dream O n l y y o u k n o w what y o u truly w a n t o u t Don't ask what the

of l i f e — w h a t makes your heart sing.

world

W h e n y o u are answering the questions

needs—ask

what makes you

b e l o w , it's v e r y i m p o r t a n t t h a t y o u d o n ' t

come alive and then

stop to consider whether something is

go and do that.

possible

Because what the

flow. . . .

or not. Just let the

answers

world needs is people who have come alive. —Howard Martin

• W h a t do y o u love to do so m u c h that y o u ' d p a y t o d o it? • W h a t do y o u feel about?

122

really p a s s i o n a t e

Change

•


What would you choose to do if you had unlimited resources?

•

W h o are the p e o p l e or characters from history you m o s t a d m i r e , a n d why?

A n s w e r i n g t h e s e q u e s t i o n s will h e l p y o u t o g e t a n o v e r a l l i d e a o f w h a t y o u r l i f e ' s p u r p o s e is. I t r e m o v e s t h e limitations o f y o u r p r e s e n t m i n d - s e t a n d lets y o u b e c o m e outrageously creative. I f y o u f e e l y o u w a n t a d d i t i o n a l clarity, a s k y o u r s e l f t h e following questions: •

W h a t did y o u want to do as a child?

•

What did you want to be when you grew up?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u do if y o u w e r e g u a r a n t e e d success?

Write d o w n whatever c o m e s to mind. Y o u ' r e n o t c o m mitting to anything here,

and you can organize your

t h o u g h t s l a t e r . Y o u d o n ' t n e e d t o b e t o o s p e c i f i c a t first, a n d y o u d o n ' t n e e d t o f i g u r e o u t h o w it's g o i n g t o h a p pen—-just let the creative process continue. N o w , t h i n k a b o u t all t h e m a j o r areas o f y o u r l i f e — family,

relationships,

career,

health,

community,

spiritual d e v e l o p m e n t . •

W h a t w o u l d y o u really love to h a p p e n ?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u really like to learn?

•

W h a t skills d o y o u w a n t t o m a s t e r ?

•

H o w m u c h m o n e y do y o u want to earn?

•

W h a t c h a r a c t e r traits d o y o u w a n t t o d e v e l o p ?

•

W h a t do y o u w a n t to give b a c k to the world?

123

and

PAUL

McKENNA

t o a d a p t t h e w o r l d t o h i m s e l f . T h e r e f o r e , all p r o g r e s s depends on the unreasonable man." W i t h y o u r v a l u e s f i r m l y i n m i n d , m a k e a list o f e v e r y t h i n g (yes, e v e r y t h i n g ) y o u w a n t n o w , h a v e w a n t e d i n t h e past, o r c a n c o n c e i v e o f w a n t i n g i n t h e future. Just g e t everything out of your head and down You want what you want, whether or not you think you can get it. —Robert Fritz

on paper. It is n o t necessary to have any intention of actually getting any of these things,

nor

is

it

necessary

that

you

believe getting any of the items on your list i s p o s s i b l e . N o m a t t e r h o w w e i r d o r i m p o s s i b l e i t m a y s e e m , all y o u n e e d t o do is write it d o w n !

T a k e a t l e a s t five m i n u t e s t o d o t h i s n o w b e f o r e m o v ing on to step 3.

Step 3: The Big Dream O n l y y o u k n o w w h a t y o u truly w a n t o u t Don't ask what the

of life—what

world

W h e n you are answering the questions

needs—ask

makes

your

h e a r t sing.

what makes you

b e l o w , it's v e r y i m p o r t a n t t h a t y o u d o n ' t

come alive and then

stop to consider w h e t h e r s o m e t h i n g is

go and do that.

possible

Because what the

flow. . . .

or

not. Just let

the

answers

world needs is people who have come alive. —Howard Martin

• W h a t do y o u love to do so m u c h that y o u ' d p a y t o d o it? • W h a t do you about?

122

feel

really passionate

Change

•


W h a t would you choose to do if you had unlimited resources?

•

W h o are the p e o p l e or characters from history y o u m o s t a d m i r e , a n d why?

A n s w e r i n g these q u e s t i o n s will h e l p y o u t o g e t a n o v e r a l l i d e a o f w h a t y o u r l i f e ' s p u r p o s e is. I t r e m o v e s t h e l i m i t a t i o n s o f y o u r p r e s e n t m i n d - s e t a n d lets y o u b e c o m e outrageously creative. I f y o u f e e l y o u w a n t a d d i t i o n a l clarity, a s k y o u r s e l f t h e following questions: •

W h a t d i d y o u w a n t to do as a child?

•

W h a t did you want to be w h e n you grew up?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u d o i f y o u w e r e g u a r a n t e e d success?

Write d o w n whatever comes to mind. You're not committing to anything here, and you can organize your t h o u g h t s later. Y o u d o n ' t n e e d t o b e t o o specific a t f i r s t , a n d y o u d o n ' t n e e d t o f i g u r e o u t h o w it's g o i n g t o h a p p e n — j u s t let the creative process continue. N o w , t h i n k a b o u t all t h e m a j o r a r e a s o f y o u r l i f e — family,

relationships,

career,

health,

community,

spiritual d e v e l o p m e n t . •

W h a t w o u l d y o u really love to h a p p e n ?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u really like to learn?

•

W h a t skills d o y o u w a n t t o m a s t e r ?

•

H o w m u c h m o n e y do y o u want to earn?

•

W h a t c h a r a c t e r traits d o y o u w a n t t o d e v e l o p ?

•

W h a t do y o u want to give b a c k to the world?

123

and

PAUL

MCKENNA

In a few m o m e n t s , I ' m g o i n g to ask y o u to b e g i n to formulate y o u r big d r e a m . As y o u d o , m a k e sure that your d r e a m is focused on what y o u do want, not on what you don't. O n e t h i n g t h a t all o f t h e u n h a p p y p e o p l e I h a v e ever w o r k e d with have in c o m m o n is that they k n o w what they don't w a n t a n d t h e y f o c u s o n i t t o t h e p o i n t o f o b s e s s i o n . W h a t t h e y h a v e n ' t y e t r e a l i z e d i s that y o u always g e t m o r e of what you focus on. F o r e x a m p l e , s o m e p e o p l e s p e n d all t h e i r t i m e thinki n g o f w a y s t o n o t b e fat. O f c o u r s e , t h e p r o b l e m i s t h a t i n o r d e r t o n o t b e a n y t h i n g y o u first h a v e t o t h i n k a b o u t b e i n g it. S o c o n s t a n t l y a s k i n g q u e s t i o n s l i k e " W h y a m I s o fat?" a n d " H o w c a n I n o t be fat a n y m o r e ? " is like c o n t i n ually reinforcing y o u r m i n d with

internal

representa-

tions of y o u r s e l f as a fat p e r s o n . By c o m p a r i s o n , a question like " H o w am I g o i n g to b e c o m e fit, healthy, a n d strong?" focuses y o u r attention on what y o u want. W h e n you focus on what you do want as opposed to w h a t y o u don't, y o u are m a k i n g sensory-rich e x p e r i e n c e s o f w h a t y o u will see, hear, f e e l , taste, a n d s m e l l w h e n y o u get what y o u want. By regularly concentrating on what y o u d o w a n t , y o u will c o n d i t i o n y o u r m i n d t o attract m o r e o f it t o y o u . Take at least five minutes to do s o m e t h i n g c o m p l e t e l y u n r e l a t e d t o this e x e r c i s e , t h e n c o m e b a c k a n d write a first draft of y o u r big d r e a m . Y o u c a n use the following f o r m as a g u i d e .

124

Change


My Big Dream The most important things in the world to me are: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If I could be, do, and have anything in the world, I would . . .

125

PAUL

McKENNA

In a few m o m e n t s , I ' m g o i n g to ask y o u to b e g i n to formulate y o u r big d r e a m . As y o u d o , m a k e sure that your dream is focused on what you do want, not on what you don't. O n e t h i n g t h a t all o f t h e u n h a p p y p e o p l e I h a v e e v e r w o r k e d with have in c o m m o n is that they k n o w what they don't w a n t a n d t h e y f o c u s o n i t t o t h e p o i n t o f o b s e s s i o n . W h a t t h e y h a v e n ' t y e t r e a l i z e d i s that y o u always g e t m o r e of what you focus on. F o r e x a m p l e , s o m e p e o p l e s p e n d all t h e i r t i m e thinki n g o f ways t o n o t b e fat. O f c o u r s e , t h e p r o b l e m i s t h a t i n o r d e r t o n o t b e a n y t h i n g y o u first h a v e t o t h i n k a b o u t b e i n g it. S o c o n s t a n t l y a s k i n g q u e s t i o n s l i k e " W h y a m I s o fat?" a n d " H o w c a n I n o t be fat a n y m o r e ? " is like c o n t i n ually reinforcing y o u r m i n d with

internal

representa-

tions of y o u r s e l f as a fat p e r s o n . By c o m p a r i s o n , a question like " H o w am I g o i n g to b e c o m e fit, h e a l t h y , a n d s t r o n g ? " f o c u s e s y o u r a t t e n t i o n on what y o u want. W h e n you focus on what you do want as opposed to what y o u don't, y o u are m a k i n g sensory-rich e x p e r i e n c e s o f w h a t y o u will s e e , h e a r , f e e l , t a s t e , a n d s m e l l w h e n y o u get what y o u want. By regularly concentrating on what y o u d o w a n t , y o u will c o n d i t i o n y o u r m i n d t o attract m o r e o f it t o y o u . T a k e a t l e a s t five m i n u t e s t o d o s o m e t h i n g c o m p l e t e l y u n r e l a t e d t o this e x e r c i s e , t h e n c o m e b a c k a n d w r i t e a first d r a f t o f y o u r b i g d r e a m . Y o u c a n u s e t h e f o l l o w i n g f o r m as a g u i d e .

124

Change


My Big Dream The most important things in the world to me are: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If I could be, do, and have anything in the world, I would . . .

125

PAUL

McKENNA

Step 4: Measuring Success In the 1930s, a f a m o u s study was d o n e of the factors that contributed to efficiency in the workplace. A team of s o c i a l s c i e n t i s t s w e n t i n t o f a c t o r i e s t o assess, a m o n g o t h e r things, the effect of increased lighting on efficiency in a s s e m b l y l i n e s . A s w a s t h e t y p i c a l p r o c e d u r e o f t h e day, three groups were observed. T h e first g r o u p w a s g i v e n i n c r e a s e d l i g h t i n g a s t h e y w e n t a b o u t t h e i r r e p e t i t i v e a s s e m b l y tasks; t h e s e c o n d w a s given d e c r e a s e d lighting; the third, or c o n t r o l , g r o u p was simply observed g o i n g a b o u t their w o r k in the usual manner. W h a t h a p p e n e d n e x t c o n f o u n d e d the observers. As expected, the g r o u p with increased lighting experienced a measurable increase in efficiency a n d well-being o n the j o b . H o w e v e r , the increase i n efficiency a n d wellb e i n g was

almost identically m a t c h e d in b o t h

of the

other groups being observed. After further experimentation, the conclusion reached by the research t e a m was that the single most important factor in positively affecting the efficiency a n d well-being of e m p l o y e e s was the feeling that attention was b e i n g p a i d to their efforts. H e r e ' s h o w m y f r i e n d life c o a c h M i c h a e l N e i l l p u t s it:

O n e o f t h e s i m p l e s t keys t o staying m o t i v a t e d o v e r t i m e is to give y o u r s e l f every o p p o r t u n i t y to e x p e r i e n c e an o n g o i n g sense of progress in the pursuit of y o u r goals. Instead of waiting until y o u have either a c h i e v e d y o u r g o a l o r failed, c o n t i n u a l l y l o o k a n d lis-

126

Change


t e n f o r a n y sign o f p r o g r e s s t o w a r d y o u r goal; w h e n y o u find o n e , grab o n t o i t with all y o u r h e a r t . Seize o n a n y e v i d e n c e y o u c a n f i n d that y o u are moving in the right direction a n d d e l i g h t i n it. H o l d i t l a r g e i n y o u r m i n d . B a s k i n its glow. T h r o w i t onto

your

bed

and

roll

around

n a k e d i n it! M o r e t h a n a n y t h i n g else,

I never ran 1,000 miles. I could never have done that. I ran one mile 1,000 times. —Stu Mittleman, world record holder for ultradistance running

i t i s this o n g o i n g s e n s e o f p r o g r e s s t h a t will k e e p y o u m o v i n g i n t h e direction of your dreams week by week and m o m e n t by moment.

A s k yourself:

•

W h a t will y o u see a s y o u a c h i e v e y o u r d r e a m ?

•

W h a t will y o u hear?

•

W h a t w i l l y o u f e e l , s m e l l , a n d taste?

Y o u r answers to t h e s e q u e s t i o n s will give y o u a way of k n o w i n g if y o u are getting nearer to or further from your d r e a m s , a n d will k e e p y o u m o t i v a t e d a s y o u b e g i n living t h e life o f y o u r d r e a m s .

Step 5: Overcoming Obstacles Sometimes we can get so caught up in our excitement o v e r p u r s u i n g a d r e a m that w e o v e r l o o k i m p o r t a n t factors that m i g h t interfere with o u r g e t t i n g w h a t w e want.

127

PAUL

McKENNA

A s y o u p r o j e c t y o u r s e l f i n t o the f u t u r e , ask y o u r s e l f the f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n s t o e n s u r e that living y o u r d r e a m will be g o o d for y o u a n d doesn't h a r m others: •

W h e n I t h i n k a b o u t this d r e a m , d o e s it s e e m c l e a r or fuzzy?

•

Do I feel free in my feelings or restricted?

•

I s this s o m e t h i n g I a m m o v i n g t o w a r d o r a w a y f r o m ?

•

I s this m y d r e a m o r s o m e o t h e r p e r s o n ' s d r e a m for me?

•

W h a t h i d d e n rewards m i g h t there be to n o t living this d r e a m ?

If y o u r answers to any of these q u e s t i o n s raise d o u b t s in y o u r m i n d , congratulate yourself! Y o u ' v e saved yourself m o n t h s a n d possibly even years of struggle by identifying potential p r o b l e m s b e f o r e they strike.

Step 6: Setting Goals on Your Success Timeline Something amazing happens when you have a timeline of events that n e e d to take place in s e q u e n c e to lead to y o u r d r e a m — y o u k n o w w h e n y o u are o n track. H o w l o n g d o y o u t h i n k i t will take f o r y o u t o b e fully living y o u r d r e a m ? O n e year? Six years? A lifetime? W o r k i n g back from your d r e a m date, figure out the m a j o r steps that will n e e d t o take p l a c e a l o n g t h e way a n d write t h e m d o w n . T h e s e are y o u r g o a l s — t h e milestones a l o n g t h e r o a d t o t h e life o f y o u r d r e a m s . M a k e a list o f a t l e a s t s e v e n g o a l s a n d a t i m e l i n e t h a t will let y o u k n o w y o u are o n the way t o living y o u r d r e a m .

128

Change


I f y o u l i k e , v i v i d l y live e a c h g o a l i n y o u r i m a g i n a t i o n , s e e ing what you'll see, h e a r i n g what you'll hear, a n d feeling h o w g o o d you'll feel as y o u achieve e a c h step.

Most

i m p o r t a n t , g e t a clear, big, b r i g h t i m a g e of e a c h g o a l as if it is already h a p p e n i n g now.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Step 7: Activate Your Resources N o w i s t h e t i m e t o b e g i n t o e x p l o r e w h a t it's g o i n g t o t a k e t o live y o u r d r e a m . A g a i n a n d a g a i n , I s e e p e o p l e relying on the same o n e or two resources to bail t h e m out of trouble or propel t h e m forward toward their goals a n d d r e a m s . W h e t h e r it's t h e i r c h a r m , t h e i r t r u s t f u n d , or their friends, they have b e c o m e so habituated to using these r e s o u r c e s that t h e y f o r g e t w h a t else t h e y h a v e available to them. W h e n t h e y g e t s t u c k , it's n o t b e c a u s e t h e y ' v e r e a l l y run out of options,

but rather because their habitual

k n i g h t s i n s h i n i n g a r m o r a r e n ' t w o r k i n g o r a r e n ' t availa b l e t o t h e m i n this p a r t i c u l a r situation.

129

PAUL

McKENNA

In o r d e r to activate y o u r resources a n d step outside y o u r c o m f o r t z o n e , t a k e s o m e t i m e n o w t o list t h e m y r i a d resources you have at your c o m m a n d . H e r e are s o m e categories to g e t y o u started:

1. Your skills, qualities, gifts, and talents Examples: loving, kind, a great dancer, a g o o d negotiator, funny, c a n d r i n k a p i n t o f b e e r i n o n e g o , e t c .

2. Your community Examples: •

People y o u work with

•

People you work for

•

People who work for you

•

Family

•

Friends

•

Neighbors

• Y o u r "fan club" •

People y o u w e n t to school with

•

People you used to work with

•

Customers/clients

3. Your available cash and credit Examples: b a n k a c c o u n t s , i n v e s t m e n t s , h o m e equity, b u s i n e s s equity, e t c .

130

Change


4. Your possessions Examples: h o u s e , c o m p u t e r , car, f a x m a c h i n e , p h o t o c o p i e r , desk, chairs, etc.

O n e r e a s o n it's i m p o r t a n t t o list o u r r e s o u r c e s i s t h a t it forces us to e x p a n d our thinking outside our comfort zone. A n d w h e n y o u are willing to do what y o u have n e v e r d o n e b e f o r e , all t h i n g s b e c o m e p o s s i b l e !

131

PAUL

McKENNA

P U T T I N G IT A L L T O G E T H E R H e r e ' s a n e x a m p l e o f h o w t h e w h o l e d r e a m - s e t t i n g syst e m fits t o g e t h e r :

My Big Dream The

most important

±.

Making

2..

Happiness

things

the

world to

me

are:

a difference

3.

Loving-kindness

financial Gtood

in

security

keattk

If I could be, do, and have anything in the world, I would. ~£>e

a

innovative and

fantastically products

enkance

successful

entrepreneur

revolutionize

tkousands

of

tke

people's

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X

kear

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myself-ft nice

feel

people tke a

and

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of

me

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in

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wkose

wellness

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driving

money

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nice

car-,

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products

lives-

satisfaction

and

132

.

lives-

I will know I am succeeding when .

wearing

.

joy

eack

day

kave

Change


Key Goals ±-

Timeline

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innovative

wellness

Witkin

3

montks

sell -first

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products 2_.

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3.

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a -product to

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to

quit

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3

years

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product

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patent

and

leader

in

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and

dollars a

market

from

recognized

field

133

my

it

years

PAUL

McKENNA

N o w it's y o u r t u r n . Fill i n t h e f o r m b e l o w o r c o p y i t into a n o t e b o o k or j o u r n a l .

My Big Dream The

most important

things

in

the

world

to

me

are:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. If I could be,

do, and have anything in the world,

134

I would.

..


2. Next, we will take everything you have learned about what you want, what really matters to you, and what your biggest dream is, and design them all into your ideal week. 3. How does your week begin? Imagine the kind of people you have around you, the places you go, the things you have. How good do you feel? Where do you go each day? What do you do? Who do you see? What are some of the things that let you know how successful you are? 4. Continue to go through your ideal week until you can imagine every detail vividly. This should be an enjoyable process-if it feels like work, take a break and come back to it when you can relax completely and indulge your imagination.

TAKING ACTION O f course, i f all y o u h a d t o d o was t h i n k a b o u t what y o u wanted a n d it magically s h o w e d up a few m o m e n t s later, everyone w o u l d be d r i v i n g a Ferrari, You can't build a

living in a m a n s i o n , w e a r i n g e x p e n -

reputation on what

sive jewelry, a n d s l e e p i n g with beauti-

you re going to do.

ful lovers. It w o u l d also be chaos!

It's simple, fantasize,

That's

why

the

universe

puts

one

rehearse, then go out

m o r e step i n b e t w e e n

into the world and

what y o u w a n t a n d actually g e t t i n g

do it!

i t — t h e a c t i o n step. —Henry Ford

thinking of

S o m e p e o p l e sit a r o u n d a n d dayd r e a m w i t h o u t e v e r d o i n g anything.

137

PAUL

McKENNA

As you'll r e m e m b e r f r o m day two, At the height of his success, Fame

whenever

we

Hall of

create

a

basketball

access

that

player Larry

Bird

was filming a commercial

cola

that

called for him shoot for the

to basket

and miss the shot. The film crew had

do

neural

something pathway,

experience

new,

we

we

can

so again

easily.

E a c h time we repeat a particular behavior, w e s t r e n g t h e n t h e a s s o c i a t e d n e u ral pathway. This

is w h y it is so

i m p o r t a n t to

mentally rehearse success. M o s t of the top athletes I have w o r k e d with played hundreds

of successful

matches

and

to film the shot

won

seven separate times

minds before ever setting foot on the

because he couldn 'I

playing

help getting the ball

y o u r d r e a m e v e r y day, y o u w i l l b u i l d

in the basket, even

stronger n e u r a l pathways to success.

when he was trying to miss!

thousands of races in their own

field.

As

you

visualize

living

Here's a simple exercise you can do every day to p r o g r a m your m i n d for success:

Program Your Direction in Life 1.

S t o p for a m o m e n t and vividly imagine what your life

will look like as you are living your dream. What will you s e e ? W h a t will you hear? W h a t will p e o p l e say to y o u ? W h a t will you say to yourself? As you do this, really imagine living your dream in as much detail as possible. Create a rich internal experience as if you are already living your dream now.

136

Change


2. Next, we will take everything you have learned about what you want, what really matters to you, and what your biggest dream is, and design them all into your ideal week. 3. How d o e s your week begin? Imagine the kind of people you have around you, the places you go, the things you have. How g o o d do you feel? Where do you go each day? What do you do? Who do you see? What are s o m e of the things that let you know how successful you are? 4. Continue to go through your ideal week until you can imagine every detail vividly. This should be an enjoyable process—if it feels like work, take a break and c o m e back to it when you can relax completely and indulge your imagination.

TAKING A C T I O N O f c o u r s e , i f all y o u h a d t o d o w a s t h i n k a b o u t w h a t y o u w a n t e d a n d i t m a g i c a l l y s h o w e d u p a f e w m o m e n t s later, everyone w o u l d be driving a Ferrari, You can't build a

living in a m a n s i o n , w e a r i n g e x p e n -

reputation on what

sive j e w e l r y , a n d s l e e p i n g w i t h b e a u t i -

you 're going to do.

ful

It's simple, fantasize,

That's

rehearse, then go out

more

into the world and

what you want and

do it!

i t — t h e action step. —Henry Ford

lovers. why step

It w o u l d also the in

universe

between

be

chaos!

puts

thinking

one of

actually getting

S o m e p e o p l e sit a r o u n d a n d dayd r e a m without ever d o i n g anything.

137

PAUL

McKENNA

H o w e v e r , by c r e a t i n g a vivid r e p r e s e n t a t i o n of h o w y o u i d e a l l y w a n t t o l i v e y o u r life a n d f o c u s i n g o n i t e v e r y day, y o u will b e c o m e m o t i v a t e d t o t a k e a c t i o n a n d y o u will k n o w where you are going. As the saying goes, a j o u r n e y of a t h o u s a n d miles b e g i n s with a single step. T h i n k of at least o n e t h i n g that y o u c a n d o t o d a y t h a t w i l l t a k e y o u i n t h e d i r e c t i o n o f livi n g y o u r d r e a m , a n d d o it. E v e n a s m a l l s t e p i s f i n e — f o r e x a m p l e , a p h o n e call or a little b i t of r e s e a r c h . R e m e m b e r that the m o m e n t y o u c o m Who dares wins.

mit to something, providence moves too,

—Motto of the

a n d all sorts o f u n f o r e s e e n i n c i d e n t s a n d

British Special

a s s i s t a n c e o c c u r . It's as t h o u g h y o u r c o m m i t -

Forces

m e n t b e c o m e s a m a g n e t for g o o d things to be drawn to you.

In the words of Goethe: " W h a t e v e r y o u c a n d o , o r d r e a m y o u c a n d o , b e g i n it. B o l d n e s s h a s g e n i u s , m a g i c a n d p o w e r i n it. B e g i n i t n o w ! " Until tomorrow, Paul

PS.

McKenna

Tomorrow,

wonderful

we'll be exploring the

life—abundant

health!

138

first

cornerstone of your

DAY

5

HEALTHY FOUNDATIONS Creating and maintaining a healthy body, mind, and spirit

PAUL

McKENNA

Before you begin today: •

Listen to the hypnotic trance (www.paulmckenna.com/trance).

• Take a few minutes to go through the "Reprogramming Your Self-Image" exercise on p a g e 3 5 . •

Review your purpose, values, and goals from day four. Answer the following questions: 1. How will you live your values throughout the day today? 2. What are three actions you will take that will bring you closer to the achievement of your goals? 3. Imagine you are living "on p u r p o s e " — h o w will you handle any challenges that might c o m e up throughout the day? As you continue to program yourself for success, you

will find that your life b e c o m e s more and more of a splendid adventure!

140

I here was a hunter walking through the jungle.

Suddenly he

saw a tiger, but the tiger saw him, too. He ran as fast as he could to get away and tumbled over a cliff. As he fell he grabbed hold of a tree root. There he swung. He looked up and saw the tiger looking down on him hungrily. Then he saw another tiger appear beneath him,

looking up at him

hungrily. He felt a little dirt fall upon his face. He looked up and saw two mice gnawing through the tree root he was holding on to. To his right he saw a bee fly to a crevice. There he saw a bees' nest overflowing with honey. He reached out and tasted the honey on his fingers.

The honey tasted delicious.

141

W H A T I S THE N U M B E R O N E C A U S E O F ILLNESS A N D DISEASE? A startling r e c e n t study by Dr. B e r n a r d Stewart p r e d i c t s that unless p e o p l e b e g i n taking responsibility for their h e a l t h a n d w e l l - b e i n g , g l o b a l rates o f c a n c e r c o u l d rise 50 p e r c e n t to 15 m i l l i o n n e w cases a y e a r by 2020. T h e s t u d y w e n t o n t o say t h a t a s m a n y a s t w o - t h i r d s o f t h e s e cases c a n b e p r e v e n t e d a n d / o r c u r e d t h r o u g h lifestyle changes. W h i l e s o m e o f t h e s e lifestyle c h a n g e s a r e o u t s i d e t h e s c o p e o f this b o o k , t h e majority o f t h e m c a n b e s u m m e d u p quite simply:

Limit the amount of toxins you put into your body while simultaWhat is it that heals

neously

increasing

a cut finger? Is it the

stress-hardiness.

your

body's

bandage or whatever ointment is applied

Most

doctors

now

agree

that

the

to the wound? Of

m i n d has a p r o f o u n d effect on a per-

course not; it's the

son's

body.

nearly everyone knows you can think

The human

sense

of

well-being—certainly

body is self-repairing,

y o u r s e l f i n t o b e i n g ill. W h e n I w a s a

self-healing and self-

child, it never ceased to amaze me h o w

maintaining.

m a n y o f m y classmates w o u l d g e t sick

—Harvey Diamond

on

exam

day.

These

are

the

same

p e o p l e w h o are always a f f e c t e d b y w h a t

142

Change


I call "cultural h y p n o s i s " — t h e y only have to h e a r a few p e o p l e saying "There's a cold g o i n g a r o u n d " a n d they c a t c h it. Research

has

shown

that

optimists

generally

live

l o n g e r , h a p p i e r , h e a l t h i e r lives. O n e o f t h e k e y r e a s o n s i s because

optimal

states

enhance

our immune

system.

Studies in recent years have n o w irrefutably p r o v e n that we

can

dramatically e n h a n c e

our immune

system

by

actively c h o o s i n g o u r beliefs a n d consistently p r a c t i c i n g visualization techniques. B u t if the secret of h e a l t h is a positive perspective, w h a t ' s c a u s i n g all t h e illness a n d disease? Let's get right to the point:

The single biggest cause of ill health is an inappropriate response to stress. Studies have shown that the major threat in m o d e r n life i s b e i n g k i l l e d b y o u r o w n d e f e n s e system b e i n g trigg e r e d t o o o f t e n — b y o u r r e s p o n s e t o stress.

W H A T IS S T R E S S ? A c c o r d i n g t o t h e d i c t i o n a r y , stress is:

•

A c o n s t r a i n i n g f o r c e or i n f l u e n c e

•

A force

exerted

when

one

body

or

body

part

presses o n , pulls o n , pushes against, or tends to c o m p r e s s o r twist a n o t h e r b o d y o r b o d y p a r t

143

PAUL

•

A physical,

McKENNA

chemical,

or

emotional

factor

that

causes b o d i l y o r m e n t a l t e n s i o n a n d m a y b e a factor in disease causation

H o w e v e r , t h e stress w e e x p e r i e n c e i n o u r o w n lives does not c o m e from outside u s — i t is our body's

re-

s p o n s e t o life's c h a l l e n g e s , b o t h real a n d i m a g i n e d . T h i s stress r e s p o n s e g o e s b a c k t o t h e e a r l i e s t h u m a n s , a s o u r ancestors n e e d e d e x t r e m e physical reactions a n d a burst of energy to enable t h e m to fight a wild animal or r u n away. E v e n n o w , a c e r t a i n a m o u n t o f stress i n o u r lives helps us to f u n c t i o n — a p p r o p r i a t e arousal of the auton o m i c nervous system actually motivates us to do things like g e t o u t o f the way o f a n o n c o m i n g vehicle o r a d d e n e r g y to a presentation or workout. For e x a m p l e , w h e n the m i n d perceives a threat, the heartbeat immediately quickens. Pupils dilate automatically, m u s c l e s t i g h t e n , a n d a d r e n a l i n e i s r e l e a s e d i n t o t h e bloodstream.

The

digestive

process halts, y o u r b l o o d

p r e s s u r e rises, a n d t h e i m m u n e system i s s u p p r e s s e d . This is k n o w n as the fight-or-flight response. N o w , i f y o u a r e a b o u t t o b e a t t a c k e d (say, b y a s a b e r toothed

tiger),

you

need

respond appropriately to

energy the

and

situation.

adrenaline The

to

problem

arises w h e n w e are c o n t i n u a l l y p r e p a r i n g for e m e r g e n cies that n e v e r h a p p e n . T h i s puts a n u n n e c e s s a r y strain on

our immune

systems,

ultimately

burning

out

our

a d r e n a l glands a n d s p r e a d i n g nasty toxins in the body. I'll say i t a g a i n :

144

Change


The continual inappropriate arousal of our mind and body can lead to illnesses. A n d a l t h o u g h this so-called n e g a t i v e stress u s e d to be c o n s i d e r e d s o m e t h i n g that

affected

only

pressured jobs, some

degree

it

the

people truth

affects

in is

nearly

highly

My ^fi ^ been full as

of terrible misfor-

that

to

tunes, most of which

all

of

never happened.

us. A n d killing ourselves to k e e p us safe

—Michel d e Montaigne

is like b u r n i n g d o w n the h o u s e to roast a pig. T h e s e days w e d o n o t h a v e t o b e constantly o n the l o o k o u t f o r w i l d a n i m a l s , b u t t h e twenty-first c e n t u r y i s f u l l o f t h r e a t s f r o m all k i n d s o f d i f f e r e n t s o u r c e s . A n y a v e r a g e d a y h a s its d e m a n d s a n d s t r e s s e s — d r i v i n g t o w o r k t h e r e ' s a traffic j a m , y o u g e t i n t o a n a r g u m e n t , y o u r e c e i v e an u n e x p e c t e d bill, the kids h a v e m a d e a mess, you are criticized at work. T h e s e things m a y n o t consciously s e e m like threats t o you, b u t y o u r nervous system d o e s n o t differentiate between a physical threat to y o u r b o d y a n d a m e n t a l threat to y o u r e g o . Research has shown that most worries are either a b o u t things that never h a p p e n or a b o u t things from the past that can't be c h a n g e d . In fact, a lot of w o r r y c o m e s d o w n to n o t h a v i n g g i v e n y o u r m i n d s o m e t h i n g b e t t e r t o d o . O b v i o u s l y it's i m p o r tant to have an emotional dynamic range, a n d if someone's attacking you, then you might need to get angry or scared to d e f e n d yourself. B u t w h a t I ' m saying is that the

145

PAUL

McKENNA

stress r e s p o n s e i s b e i n g unnecessarily a r o u s e d all d a y l o n g , a n d this builds u p o v e r t i m e , c a u s i n g p r o b l e m s . T h e first r e s e a r c h e r o f t h e p h y s i o l o g i c a l c o n s e q u e n c e s o f stress, H a n s S e l y e , r e m a r k e d , "The

most

important

stresses

for

man

are

emo-

tional. . . . It is not the event but rather o u r interpretation of it that causes o u r emotional reaction." By b r i n g i n g a positive p e r s p e c t i v e to o u r lives a n d i n t e r p r e t i n g o u r e x p e r i e n c e s differently, w e c a n b e g i n t o r e s p o n d beneficially t o t h e events i n o u r life, r a t h e r t h a n chaotically. W h e n e v e r y o u ' v e felt b a d

in

your

If you want to know l i f e , it w a s a p r o d u c t of y o u r o w n stress what your thoughts

response.

were like yesterday

s o m e p e o p l e t u r n to a l c o h o l , c i g a r e t t e s ,

then check how your body feels today. —Indian proverb

T h a t is w h y in o u r c u l t u r e

or d r u g s to c h a n g e t h e way t h e y f e e l — t o c o p e w i t h stress. A s c o n t i n u a l n e g a tive s t r e s s c a n l e a d to d i s e a s e s , it is a p r o b l e m that n e e d s to be dealt with.

SO SHOULD I JUST AVOID STRESS? A n y study into

t h e effects o f stress o n w e l l - b e i n g a n d

h u m a n p e r f o r m a n c e can usefully b e b r o k e n d o w n into t h r e e a r e a s — s t r e s s e x p o s u r e , stress r e s p o n s e , a n d stress capacity. M o s t p r o g r a m s d e a l i n g w i t h stress m a n a g e m e n t f o c u s on

a

stress

combination exposure

of the

first

two

factors—reducing

(downshifting)

and

developing

146

more

Change


e f f i c i e n t stress r e s p o n s e ( r e l a x a t i o n t r a i n ing, meditation, etc.). Yet of the three f a c t o r s , stress c a p a c i t y i s t h e m o s t significant in p r e d i c t i n g long-term wellness , a n d success.

Don't wish it was easier—wish

you

were tougher. * —Km J

T h e greater o u r capacity to h a n d l e stress, t h e m o r e o f t e n w e w i l l p e r f o r m a t t h e p e a k o f o u r abilities, particularly in high-pressure situations. H o w do w e d e v e l o p o u r stress c a p a c i t y ? S i m p l e — w e s y s t e m a t i c a l l y i n c r e a s e o u r stress e x p o s u r e w h i l e b a l a n c i n g o u r e f f o r t s w i t h w h a t stress a n d p e r f o r m a n c e specialist Dr. J a m e s L o e h r calls "quality recovery time." T h e f o r m u l a l o o k s like this:

Increased stress exposure + Quality recovery time = Greater stress capacity Let's take a c o m m o n e x a m p l e . W h e n y o u work out y o u r b o d y , y o u a r e d e l i b e r a t e l y p u t t i n g i t u n d e r stress. T o m a x i m i z e the effectiveness of y o u r workouts, y o u n e e d to allow your b o d y time to recover. Every time y o u r muscles ( i n c l u d i n g y o u r heart, in the case of a e r o b i c exercise) a r e p u t u n d e r stress a n d t h e n a l l o w e d t i m e t o r e c o v e r , they g r o w stronger. W h y do m a r a t h o n r u n n e r s a n d triathletes p u t such a heavy emphasis on interval training? Because it follows the same pattern. By alternating between periods of intense activity, s u c h a s s p r i n t i n g o r r a c i n g (stress e x p o s u r e ) , a n d gentle

activity,

such

as walking or coasting

147

(recovery

PAUL M c K E N N A

Famous Nappers Thomas Edison

and

Salvador Dali

were

both prodigious

nap-

t i m e ) , t h e y systematically d e v e l o p their s t r e n g t h a n d stamina (stress capacity). Oscillating

between

stress

expo-

sure a n d r e c o v e r y is n o t j u s t a g o o d i d e a , i t i s a n inevitability. T h e m o s t

pers who used an

e x t r e m e e x a m p l e o f this c a n b e f o u n d

interesting

in J a p a n , w h e r e karoshi, or d e a t h f r o m

variation

of the power nap to

o v e r w o r k i n g , has at times t h r e a t e n e d

recharge

to b e c o m e a national e p i d e m i c . W h i l e

their mental

and physical

batteries.

They would sit in their favorite

chair

holding a spoon

or

other metal object in

As

their bodies

sleep,

off toward

and

mysterious

illnesses

that

familiar ways we u n c o n s c i o u s l y fulfill o u r b o d y ' s n e e d for b a l a n c e .

that y o u c a n use to d i m i n i s h stress a n d i n c r e a s e y o u r stress hardiness.

the hand

holding would

the

spoon

P O W E R NAPS

relax,

dropping to

tion,

H e r e are s o m e simple t e c h n i q u e s

hand.

drifted

r e c o v e r y t i m e , j o b b u r n o u t , exhaus-

k e e p u s f r o m w o r k i n g are t h e m o r e

by the fire while

their

d e a t h m a y b e the ultimate i n quality

the

spoon

the ground.

R e c e n t research has shown that the

As soon as they

m i n d a n d b o d y have their o w n pattern

heard the clatter of

o f rest a n d alertness, with o n e p r e d o m -

the metal spoon

on

i n a n t cycle that occurs approximately

the

hardwood floor,

e v e r y n i n e t y minutes. This is w h e n the

they

would arise

refreshed!

b o d y stops externally oriented behavi o r a n d takes a b o u t fifteen minutes to r e l a x a n d replenish its energy.

148

Change


T h i s h a s b e c o m e k n o w n a s t h e u l t r a d i a n r h y t h m . It's those m o m e n t s w h e n y o u find yourself d a y d r e a m i n g a n d a g e n t l e , sweet, soft f e e l i n g is p r e s e n t in y o u r body. It is q u i t e simply the body's o w n natural stress-control m e c h a n i s m . Unfortunately, m a n y p e o p l e i g n o r e this m e s s a g e f r o m their b o d y that it is time to relax a litde, a n d instead they h a v e a n o t h e r c u p o f c o f f e e o r try e v e n h a r d e r t o c o n c e n trate. After a while they establish a p a t t e r n of o v e r r i d i n g the ultradian rhythm. In future, whenever y o u find your,. , , . s e l f d a y d r e a m i n g a n d a feeliner o f c o m f o r t s t a r t i n g in y o u r b o d y , aro w i t h it a n d a l l o w y o u r s e l f to r e a l l y r e l a x f o r t e n to ' „ , f i f t e e n m i n u t e s . Y o u will t h e n a r i s e f e e l _ , . mg refreshed and with better concentration afterward. , Y o u c a n d e e p e n this e x p e r i e n c e e v e n „ , , f u r t h e r by p r a c t i c i n g s e l f - h y p n o s i s . I , often relax into trance a n d i m a g i n e

^, , I he. hypnotic trance (www. , . . paulmckenna.com/ . . , . , • trance) is designed , , to help you relax , deeply so that you gain healthy , . , replenishment r

every time you .

myself sunbathing on an exotic b e a c h . G i v e n that the nervous system d o e s n o t d i f f e r e n t i a t e b e t w e e n a r e a l e v e n t a n d a vividly i m a g i n e d o n e , w h e n I awaken f r o m a trance like that I feel as t h o u g h I h a v e j u s t b e e n o n v a c a t i o n — a n d a s f a r a s m y n e r v o u s syst e m is c o n c e r n e d , I h a v e . T h e great thing a b o u t r e c h a r g i n g y o u r batteries with p o w e r n a p s is that y o u c a n do it a n y w h e r e — a f t e r a bit of p r a c t i c e , n o o n e will n o t i c e . I f y o u d o i t o n t h e b u s o r t h e t r a i n , e v e r y o n e will j u s t t h i n k y o u a r e d o z i n g . T h e following exercise is the version of p o w e r n a p p i n g

149

PAUL

Famous Nappers Thomas

Edison

and

Salvador Dull

were

both prodigious

nap-

McKENNA

t i m e ) , they systematically d e v e l o p their s t r e n g t h a n d s t a m i n a (stress c a p a c i t y ) . Oscillating

between

stress

expo-

sure a n d recovery is not just a g o o d i d e a , i t i s a n inevitability. T h e m o s t

pers who used an

e x t r e m e e x a m p l e o f this c a n b e f o u n d

interesting

i n J a p a n , w h e r e karoshi, o r d e a t h f r o m

variation

of the power nap recharge

to

their mental

and physical They

batteries.

would sit in

their favorite

chair

overworking, has at times t h r e a t e n e d to b e c o m e a national epidemic. While d e a t h m a y be t h e ultimate in quality recovery time, j o b burnout, tion,

and

mysterious

exhaus-

illnesses

that

the fire while

k e e p us from working are the m o r e

holding a spoon

f a m i l i a r w a y s w e u n c o n s c i o u s l y fulfill

by

or

other metal object in their

hand.

As drifted

off toward

t h a t y o u c a n u s e t o d i m i n i s h stress a n d i n c r e a s e y o u r stress h a r d i n e s s .

the hand

holding would

the

spoon

POWER

relax,

dropping to

H e r e are some simple techniques

their bodies

sleep,

our body's n e e d for balance.

the

NAPS

spoon

the ground. As soon as they

heard the clatter of

R e c e n t research has s h o w n that the m i n d a n d body have their own pattern o f rest a n d alertness, with o n e p r e d o m -

the metal spoon on

inant cycle that occurs approximately

the

hardwood floor,

every ninety minutes. This is w h e n the

they

would arise

b o d y stops externally o r i e n t e d behav-

refreshed!

ior a n d takes a b o u t fifteen m i n u t e s to r e l a x a n d r e p l e n i s h its e n e r g y .

148

Change


T h i s h a s b e c o m e k n o w n a s t h e u l t r a d i a n r h y t h m . It's those m o m e n t s w h e n you find yourself daydreaming a n d a g e n d e , sweet, soft f e e l i n g is p r e s e n t in y o u r body. It is q u i t e simply t h e body's o w n natural stress-control m e c h a n i s m . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , m a n y p e o p l e i g n o r e this m e s s a g e f r o m their b o d y that it is time to relax a litde, a n d instead they h a v e a n o t h e r c u p o f c o f f e e o r try e v e n h a r d e r t o c o n c e n trate. After a w h i l e they establish a p a t t e r n of o v e r r i d i n g the ultradian rhythm. In future, whenever you find yourself d a y d r e a m i n g a n d a feeling of c o m fort starting in y o u r body, go with it a n d allow yourself to really relax for ten to f i f t e e n m i n u t e s . Y o u will t h e n arise feeling refreshed and with better concentration afterward. Y o u c a n d e e p e n this e x p e r i e n c e e v e n further often

by relax

practicing into

self-hypnosis.

trance

and

I

imagine

The trance

hypnotic (www.

paulmckenna. trance)

is

com/ designed

to help you relax deeply so that you gain

healthy

replenishment every

time you

USB tt

myself sunbathing on an exotic beach. G i v e n that the nervous system d o e s n o t d i f f e r e n t i a t e b e t w e e n a r e a l e v e n t a n d a vividly i m a g i n e d o n e , w h e n I a w a k e n f r o m a trance like that I feel as t h o u g h I h a v e j u s t b e e n o n v a c a t i o n — a n d a s f a r a s m y n e r v o u s syst e m is c o n c e r n e d , I have. T h e great thing a b o u t r e c h a r g i n g y o u r batteries with p o w e r naps is that y o u can do it a n y w h e r e — a f t e r a bit of practice, n o o n e will n o t i c e . I f y o u d o i t o n t h e b u s o r the train, e v e r y o n e will j u s t t h i n k y o u a r e d o z i n g . T h e following exercise is the version of power n a p p i n g

149

PAUL

McKENNA

I use m o s t d a y s — i t doesn't take long, a n d it is a g o o d habit t o e s t a b l i s h t h a t will r e i n f o r c e all y o u r o t h e r s t r e s s - r e d u c i n g efforts. E v e n i f y o u w o r k i n a n o p e n - p l a n office o r factory, y o u c a n always f i n d a n e x c u s e t o g e t o u t f o r five m i n u t e s — r e m e m b e r , r e p e d t i o n is the m o t h e r of success!

The Power Nap Do this once or twice a day to give yourself recovery time and improve your well-being. 1. Begin by moving your attention down to your feet. Notice the feelings of your feet, their relative warmth or coolness, and their weight. 2. Take a d e e p breath in, then let it out. As you do so, imagine a pleasant, warm, and relaxing feeling developing in your feet. 3. Now take another deep, gentle breath in and imagine that warm and relaxing feeling traveling up the legs to your knees. Say "one" in your mind. 4. Allow that warm and relaxing feeling to penetrate your muscles and bones, gently spreading and soothing as it moves. 5. When you are ready, take another gentle d e e p breath and imagine that warm, relaxing feeling rising up to your waist, and as it d o e s so, say "two."

150

Change


6. Breathing in, pull the feeling of e a s e and relaxation up to your shoulders and say "three." 7. Let the relaxation flow up your b o d y to your shoulders and then down along your arms to your hands. 8. Breathing in, let the feeling go all the way, right to the top of your head. Say "four" and spread those good, relaxing feelings all over your body. 9. Now, say in your mind "five" and imagine that relaxing feeling doubling, as if a new, fresh flow of relaxation was descending from a b o v e your head and joining the warm,

relaxing feelings already

going on inside you. 10. And as you imagine this flow of relaxation spreading back down your body, imagine any and all tension being washed down along with it, draining out of your b o d y through the b o t t o m s of your feet, making room for you to be refilled on each breath with new, relaxing, refreshing energy. Make sure you take a few moments to really enjoy those feelings of relaxation. 11. Pause for a little while to notice the feeling and then, if you wish, repeat the sequence. The more you practice the technique the more effective it becomes. Stay with this feeling as long as you wish. If at this point your attention wanders or you would like to close your eyes, that's perfectly o k a y — y o u will arise refreshed and alert in just a few minutes.

151

PAUL

McKENNA

ESSENTIAL EXERCISE As we have already seen, the b o d y does not distinguish between an

emotional threat a n d a physical o n e .

So

regardless o f w h a t h a p p e n s , i t p r e p a r e s t o p r o t e c t itself by fighting or running a w a y — b u t often there is no o n e t o fight a n d n o w h e r e t o r u n to. T h e b o d y gets w o r k e d u p b u t c a n n o t f i n d a w a y t o r e l e a s e its t e n s i o n . Fortunately, j u s t as the m i n d influe n c e s the body, so c a n t h e b o d y influ-

All ten studies confirmed that ex-

e n c e the mind. W h e n y o u find a way to

ercise

help your body release the tension of

significantly

the

reduces mild to

stress

response,

it

feels

calmer,

moderate depression.

safer, a n d h e a l t h i e r . T h a t i n t u r n a f f e c t s

And the three studies

your

that compared

clearer

exercise to psycho-

w e l l — t o concentrate, to relax, a n d to

therapy found

sleep soundly.

that

exercise was at least as effective. —Consumer Reports on Health

mood, and

making you

emotionally

better

to

able

function

T h e simplest way to h e l p the b o d y r e l e a s e t h e e x c e s s t e n s i o n o f t h e stress response is to use up the energy and alertness

for

pared—in

action

that

other words,

it to

has

pre-

get some

exercise. Now, b e f o r e y o u t h r o w u p y o u r h a n d s i n h o r r o r , realize that y o u r exercise d o e s n ' t have to be anything grand. I f y o u a r e n o t u s e d t o e x e r c i s e , e v e n a b r i s k w a l k will b e helpful. T h e p o i n t is to use up the excess tension a n d energy flowing through your body and to

152

trigger the

Change


b o d y ' s n a t u r a l i m p u l s e t o w a r d rest, r e l a x a t i o n , a n d r e c u p e r a t i o n , also k n o w n as the parasympathetic response. T h e p a r a s y m p a t h e t i c r e s p o n s e is t h e sweet, soft feeling y o u get in your muscles w h e n y o u have finished some heavy w o r k or v i g o r o u s m o v e m e n t . Y o u also feel a natural h i g h c a u s e d b y the release o f e n d o r p h i n s , t h e b o d y ' s natu r a l o p i a t e s . (We'll talk m o r e a b o u t t h e s e o n d a y seven.) W h i l e m u c h h a s b e e n m a d e i n t h e last t w e n t y y e a r s about the value of aerobic exercise in increasing our g e n e r a l fitness levels, studies h a v e s h o w n that it is e q u a l l y i m p o r t a n t i n c o n t r o l l i n g stress. S w i m m i n g , r u n n i n g , o r any exercise that oxygenates the b l o o d makes controll i n g stress easier. So even before you master the patterns of thinking a n d f e e l i n g that y o u h a v e l e a r n e d thus far i n t h e prog r a m , y o u c a n g i v e y o u r s e l f a s i m p l e , easy, p o s i t i v e b o o s t simply by g e t t i n g ten to fifteen m i n u t e s of brisk exercise e a c h a n d e v e r y day.

E N E R G E T I C EATING Literally thousands of b o o k s have b e e n written on what constitutes a healthy diet, m a n y of w h i c h directly contrad i c t o n e a n o t h e r . I n o r d e r t o m o r e easily navigate t h e volumes

of information

and

misinformation

that

fill

bookstores, libraries, a n d the Internet, I suggest following o n e simple rule:

Learn to listen to your body.

153

PAUL

McKENNA

ESSENTIAL EXERCISE As we have already seen, the b o d y does n o t distinguish between

an emotional

threat a n d a physical o n e .

So

regardless o f w h a t h a p p e n s , i t p r e p a r e s t o p r o t e c t itself by fighting or running a w a y — b u t often there is no o n e t o f i g h t a n d n o w h e r e t o r u n to. T h e b o d y gets w o r k e d u p b u t c a n n o t f i n d a w a y t o r e l e a s e its t e n s i o n . Fortunately, j u s t as t h e m i n d influAll ten studies

e n c e s the body, so c a n the b o d y influ-

confirmed that ex-

e n c e the m i n d . W h e n you find a way to

ercise

help your b o d y release the tension of

significantly

the

reduces mild to

stress

response,

it

feels

calmer,

moderate depression.

safer, a n d h e a l t h i e r . T h a t i n t u r n a f f e c t s

And the three studies

your

that compared

clearer

exercise to psycho-

w e l l — t o concentrate, to relax, a n d to

therapy found

sleep soundly.

that

exercise was at least as effective. —Consumer Reports on Health

mood, and

making better

you

emotionally

able

to

function

T h e simplest way to h e l p the b o d y r e l e a s e t h e e x c e s s t e n s i o n o f t h e stress response is to use up the energy a n d alertness

for

pared—in

action

that

other words,

it to

has

pre-

get some

exercise. Now, b e f o r e y o u t h r o w u p y o u r h a n d s i n horror, realize that y o u r exercise d o e s n ' t have to be a n y t h i n g g r a n d . If y o u a r e n o t u s e d to e x e r c i s e , e v e n a brisk walk will be helpful. T h e point is to use up the excess tension and energy flowing through your body and to

152

trigger the

Change


b o d y ' s n a t u r a l i m p u l s e t o w a r d rest, r e l a x a t i o n , a n d r e c u p e r a t i o n , also k n o w n as the parasympathetic response. T h e p a r a s y m p a t h e t i c r e s p o n s e is the sweet, soft feeling you get in your muscles w h e n you have finished some heavy w o r k or v i g o r o u s m o v e m e n t . Y o u also feel a natural h i g h c a u s e d b y t h e release o f e n d o r p h i n s , t h e b o d y ' s natu r a l opiates. (We'll talk m o r e a b o u t these o n day seven.) W h i l e m u c h h a s b e e n m a d e i n t h e last t w e n t y y e a r s about the value

of aerobic exercise in increasing our

g e n e r a l fitness levels, studies h a v e s h o w n that it is e q u a l l y i m p o r t a n t i n c o n t r o l l i n g stress. S w i m m i n g , r u n n i n g , o r any exercise that oxygenates the b l o o d makes controll i n g stress e a s i e r . So even before you master the patterns of thinking a n d feeling that y o u have l e a r n e d thus far in the prog r a m , y o u c a n g i v e y o u r s e l f a s i m p l e , easy, p o s i t i v e b o o s t simply by getting ten to fifteen m i n u t e s of brisk exercise e a c h a n d e v e r y day.

E N E R G E T I C EATING Literally thousands of b o o k s have b e e n written on what constitutes a healthy diet, m a n y of w h i c h directly contrad i c t o n e a n o t h e r . I n o r d e r t o m o r e easily navigate t h e volumes

of information

and

misinformation

that fill

b o o k s t o r e s , libraries, a n d the Internet, I suggest followi n g o n e simple rule:

Learn to listen to your body.

153

PAUL

McKENNA

In a fascinating e x p e r i m e n t p e r f o r m e d in the 1930s, scientists gave a g r o u p of t o d d l e r s u n l i m i t e d access to a vast r a n g e o f f o o d s f r o m ice c r e a m t o s p i n a c h , essentially allowing them to create their own diet over a period of thirty days b a s e d o n n o t h i n g m o r e t h a n their o w n sense of what they wanted to eat and when. T h e result? Despite

variations

in

dming,

sequence,

and

fre-

quency, every child in the study w o u n d up c h o o s i n g what was c o n s i d e r e d to be a b a l a n c e d d i e t o v e r t h e c o u r s e of the m o n t h . A s w e l e a r n t o listen t o the w i s d o m o f o u r bodies, we too can experience the benefits of optimal health. T h e f a c t is, s o m e f o o d s i n c r e a s e y o u r vitality a n d w e l l being; other foods diminish them. Author and researcher Dr. Gay H e n d r i c k s r e c o m m e n d s t h e f o l l o w i n g e x e r c i s e t o determine which foods

are y o u r personal high-energy

foods:

Step One: Eat a food you like. Step Two: Notice your b o d y sensations forty-five to sixty minutes later. If you feel clear and energetic, you ate a high-energy food for you. If you don't, you didn't!

I n Dr. H e n d r i c k s ' s r e s e a r c h , h e d i s c o v e r e d t h a t w h e n p e o p l e felt e n e r g i z e d an h o u r after eating, that f e e l i n g of

154

Change


e n e r g y t e n d e d t o stay w i t h t h e m f o r s e v e r a l m o r e h o u r s , usually until the n e x t time they n e e d e d to eat. By p r a c t i c i n g this s i m p l e e x e r c i s e f o r as little as a week, y o u can custom-design a perfect diet for your own unique body!

Dr Lee S. Berk . the

connection

system.

.

.

conducted his own scientific research into

between

the

laughing brain

before and after a mirth-making activity, funny film.

The results saw

natural killer immune

and

the

immune

Blood tests were carried out on selected control groups

cells

(NK

an

cells),

such

increase in which

are

as watching a the numbers

of

important for the

system.

"Every day, cells in our body undergo a lot of change, creating potential carcinogenic cells, " says Berk.

"NK cells destroy

these aberrant cells and are therefore significant in immunosurveillance.

.

.

.

terms

of

That doesn't mean that a doctor is

going to tell you to take two aspirins and watch Laurel and Hardy,

but the reality is that now there's a real science to the

health benefits of laughter.

And it's as real as taking a drug." —FrvmThe Guardian, March 25.. 2003

MEDICINAL LAUGHTER R e c e n t research has s h o w n that healthy p e o p l e are usually h a p p y p e o p l e . T h a t ' s w h y a g o o d s e n s e o f h u m o r i s so i m p o r t a n t . H a v i n g a s e n s e of h u m o r is vital, n o t j u s t to

155

PAUL

McKENNA

a m u s e yourself at parties but as an essential psychological resource. W h e n y o u are lighthearted, your b o d y manufactures different chemicals from diose it manufactures w h e n y o u are unhappy. In

Anatomy

of an

Illness,

Norman

Cousins

writes

of

u s i n g l a u g h t e r t o h e l p c o n t r o l his p a i n a n d u l t i m a t e l y h e a l his b o d y of a n k y l o s i n g spondylitis, a d e g e n e r a t i v e illness that at t h e t ime was c o n s i d e r e d irreversible in 499 o u t o f 500 cases. N o t only d i d C o u s i n s recover, h e w e n t o n t o live i n e x c e l l e n t h e a l t h f o r a n o t h e r u v e n t y - f i v e years. Research has shown that w h e n we smile we release serotonin, otherwise known as "happy chemical," in the b r a i n . S o w h i l e l a u g h i n g y o u r s e l f h e a l t h y i s still s e e n a s radical therapy h e r e in the West, consider the fact that the Taoists h a v e b e e n u s i n g the

power of the

"inner

s m i l e " as a h e a l i n g t o o l f o r o v e r 2,500 years! I first c a m e a c r o s s t h e p r a c t i c e o f t h e i n n e r s m i l e I a m g o i n g to share with y o u n o w in the works of modern-day Taoist master M a n t a k Chia, w h o wrote:

T a o i s t S a g e s say t h a t w h e n y o u s m i l e , y o u r o r g a n s release a honey-like secretion which nourishes the w h o l e b o d y . W h e n y o u a r e angry, f e a r f u l o r u n d e r stress, t h e y p r o d u c e a p o i s o n o u s s e c r e t i o n w h i c h blocks up the energy channels.

T h e practice of the inner smile I share below is the way I use it to release tension a n d p r o m o t e ease a n d wellb e i n g in my o w n body.

156


The Inner Smile 1. Sit comfortably—ultimately, you can practice the inner smile anywhere, in any position. 2. Allow a smile to d a n c e into your eyes. If you like, raise the corners of your mouth ever so slightly, like s o m e o n e who knows a really cool secret but doesn't need to tell. 3. Smile into any part of your b o d y that feels tight or uncomfortable, until it begins to ease or relax, 4. Smile into any part of your body that feels especially g o o d . You can increase the smile by expressing gratitude to that part of your body for helping to keep you healthy and strong. 5. Allow the inner smile to reach every corner of your body. Here are s o m e specific suggestions: a. Smile into the organs of your body—your heart, liver, pancreas, kidneys, genitals, and adrenal glands. If you don't know where these organs are, it's okay to pretend—your body will redirect the energy for you. b. Smile down through your e s o p h a g u s and into your stomach. Smile all the way through your large and small intestines and out of your bottom. (If anyone can think of a more delicate way to put that, answers on a postcard, please!)

157

PAUL

MCKENNA

a m u s e yourself at parties b u t as an essential psychological resource. W h e n y o u are lighthearted, your body manufactures different chemicals from those it manufactures w h e n y o u are unhappy. In

Anatomy

of an Illness,

Norman

Cousins writes

of

u s i n g l a u g h t e r t o h e l p c o n t r o l his p a i n a n d ultimately h e a l his b o d y of a n k y l o s i n g spondylitis, a d e g e n e r a t i v e illness that at the time was c o n s i d e r e d irreversible in 499 o u t o f 500 cases. N o t o n l y d i d C o u s i n s recover, h e w e n t o n t o live i n e x c e l l e n t h e a l t h f o r a n o t h e r twenty-five years. Research has s h o w n that w h e n we smile we release serotonin, otherwise known as "happy chemical," in the b r a i n . S o w h i l e l a u g h i n g y o u r s e l f h e a l t h y i s still s e e n a s radical therapy h e r e in the West, consider the fact that t h e Taoists h a v e b e e n u s i n g the p o w e r o f t h e

"inner

s m i l e " as a h e a l i n g t o o l f o r o v e r 2,500 y e a r s ! I first c a m e a c r o s s t h e p r a c t i c e o f t h e i n n e r s m i l e I a m going to share with y o u n o w in the works of modern-day Taoist master Mantak Chia, w h o wrote:

T a o i s t S a g e s say t h a t w h e n y o u s m i l e , y o u r o r g a n s release a honey-like secretion w h i c h nourishes the w h o l e b o d y . W h e n y o u a r e angry, f e a r f u l o r u n d e r stress, t h e y p r o d u c e a p o i s o n o u s s e c r e t i o n w h i c h blocks up the energy channels.

T h e practice of the inner smile I share below is the way I use it to release tension a n d p r o m o t e ease a n d wellb e i n g in my own body.

156

Change


The Inner Smile 1. Sit comfortably—ultimately, you can practice the inner smile anywhere, in any position. 2. Allow a smile to d a n c e into your eyes. If you like, raise the corners of your mouth ever so slightly, like s o m e o n e who knows a really cool secret but doesn't need to tell. 3. Smile into any part of your b o d y that feels tight or uncomfortable, until it begins to e a s e or relax. 4. Smile into any part of your body that feels e s p e cially g o o d . You can increase the smile by expressing gratitude to that part of your b o d y for helping to keep you healthy and strong. 5. Allow the inner smile to reach every corner of your body. Here are s o m e specific suggestions: a. Smile into the organs of your b o d y — y o u r heart, liver, pancreas, kidneys, genitals, and adrenal glands. If you don't know where these organs are, it's okay to pretend—your b o d y will redirect the energy for you. b. Smile down through your esophagus and into your stomach. Smile all the way through your large and small intestines and out of your bottom. (If anyone can think of a more delicate way to put that, answers on a postcard, please!)

157

PAUL

c.

McKENNA

Smile up into your brain, then d o w n through the b a s e of your skull and all the way down to the b o t t o m of your spine.

You can smile into your life as well as your body. Try smiling and expressing gratitude into a relationship, an environment, or a project you are currently working on, and notice how the e n e r g y around that situation begins to shift!

BELIEVE Y O U R S E L F W E L L A f e w y e a r s a g o a n i n t e r e s t i n g s t u d y w a s c o n d u c t e d t o try to discover w h y a small n u m b e r of p e o p l e survive c a n c e r w h i l e the vast majority o f p e o p l e d o n o t . T h e r e s e a r c h e r s interviewed a h u n d r e d people w h o had at o n e time b e e n d i a g n o s e d a s t e r m i n a l l y ill b u t w e r e still a l i v e a t l e a s t twelve years after the initial diagnosis was m a d e . T h e i n t e n t i o n of the study was to discover any patterns of thinking or behavior shared by these long-term survivors. T h e results w e r e startling b u t conclusive. W h i l e t h e s u r v i v o r s h a d all u s e d d i f f e r e n t t r e a t m e n t s , r a n g i n g f r o m surgery a n d c h e m o t h e r a p y t o a c u p u n c t u r e a n d natural diets, a n d s o m e h a d e v e n relied o n purely psychol o g i c a l t e c h n i q u e s o r r e l i g i o u s practices, all o n e h u n d r e d p e o p l e s h a r e d o n e e s s e n t i a l trait:

They believed that what they were doing would work for them.

158

Change


Why can't I just take prescription drugs to reduce my stress? As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, your b o d y can't tell the difference between a prescription drug and one bought on a street corner. There are also other ways to improve your health. These days there are many reports about what's bad for us, but let's not forget one very important thing. We all have our own immune system: the b o d y and mind working together to heal, protect, and regulate the fantastic vessel that we essentially are. We live in an a g e when incredible medical advances are constantly taking place. Drugs and surgery have b e c o m e commonplace. Many people e x p e c t instant cures from the doctors for their ills, and they hand over responsibility for their health to the medical profession, preferring a prescription to instigating a c h a n g e in their lifestyle or diet. The cultural acceleration of use of prescription drugs has led to other problems. Dr. E. W. Marting believes that more people are killed each year by prescribed drugs in the United States and Britain than are killed in road accidents. Perhaps this is one reason why so many people are looking to alternative w a y s to improve their health.

159

PAUL

MCKENNA

In m e d i c a l history, t h e r e is an i n t e r e s t i n g d e m o n s t r a tion of the p o w e r of b e l i e f k n o w n as the p l a c e b o effect. A p l a c e b o is a tablet with no i n h e r e n t curative properties. B e c a u s e t h e U n i t e d States r e q u i r e s all n e w d r u g s t o b e tested against placebos, there's an unusual a m o u n t of research on them. O n a v e r a g e , p l a c e b o s are a b o u t 3 0 p e r c e n t a s effective a s a m e d i c a l d r u g . H o w e v e r , i n s o m e s p e c i f i c c a s e s their effectiveness morphine,

is

m u c h higher.

C o m p a r e d against

placebos are 54 p e r c e n t as effective,

even

t h o u g h m o r p h i n e is c o n s i d e r e d a class-A n a r c o t i c . We are only b e g i n n i n g to understand the incredible p o w e r o f h y p n o s i s a n d its p o s s i b l e r o l e i n m e d i c i n e a n d therapy in the future. S o m e doctors have recently proven h o w j u s t using the i m a g i n a t i o n c a n affect y o u r health. O t h e r research has s h o w n that p e o p l e w h o believe they c a n c o n t r o l t h e i r i m m u n e system f i n d t h a t t h e y c a n easily do so by using hypnotic or guided imagery techniques. M a n y individuals c o u l d actually increase the n u m b e r of protective

blood

cells

in

their bodies

a l m o s t at will,

instantly i m p r o v i n g their resistance to illness. I n a r e l a t e d study, t w o d o c t o r s a t a u n i v e r s i t y i n Y o k o h a m a , J a p a n , d e m o n s t r a t e d that 84 p e r c e n t of subjects could eliminate the standard histamine response to pois o n ivy. T h e i t c h i n g , s w e l l i n g , a n d b l i s t e r s d i s a p p e a r e d w h e n the subjects u n d e r hypnosis simply i m a g i n e d the p o i s o n ivy t o b e a h a r m l e s s p l a n t . J u s t a s i m p o r t a n t i n o u r understanding of the impact of the m i n d on wellness, a large n u m b e r o f subjects b r o k e o u t i n blisters w h e n they

160

Change

reversed

the


experiment and

imagined

the

harmless

p l a n t t o b e p o i s o n ivy. As a result of these a n d o t h e r studies like t h e m , m o s t health-care professionals n o w acknowledge that a patient's attitude is a m a j o r factor in the success of their recovery.

But What if I'm Really Sick? A n o t h e r a m a z i n g e x p e r i m e n t , c o n d u c t e d b y Dr. D a v i d Spiegal

at

Stanford

University,

examined

a

group

of

w o m e n with breast cancer. While everyone in the g r o u p r e c e i v e d the latest m e d i c a l t r e a t m e n t f o r their illness, h a l f o f the g r o u p also l e a r n e d self-hypnosis a n d d i d very simple

g u i d e d imagery,

imagining

themselves

relaxed

a n d floating. A f t e r a year, t h e g r o u p t h a t h a d l e a r n e d t o relax and imagine

themselves relaxed reported m u c h

less p a i n a n d m o r e o p t i m i s m . W h a t really surprised the researchers d i d n ' t e m e r g e u n t i l m u c h later. T e n y e a r s after t h e initial e x p e r i m e n t was c o n d u c t e d , m e m b e r s o f the s e c o n d g r o u p h a d lived a n a v e r a g e o f t w i c e a s l o n g a s t h e first. W h i l e n o b o d y i s s a y i n g t h a t h y p n o s i s i s a c u r e f o r c a n c e r , r e g u l a r selfh y p n o s i s o r g u i d e d i m a g e r y will c l e a r l y i m p r o v e t h e q u a l i t y o f y o u r life a n d m a y well h a v e a positive effect o n t h e l e n g t h o f it. O n e o f t h e first t e r m i n a l l y ill p e o p l e I e v e r w o r k e d with was a lady w h o h a d cancer. chemotherapy

her

immune

Each

system

time

became

she had depleted,

w h i c h l e f t h e r f e e l i n g low, b o t h p h y s i c a l l y a n d m e n t a l l y .

161

PAUL

McKENNA

H e r d o c t o r h a d e x p l a i n e d to h e r that it usually takes a b o u t two weeks for the i m m u n e system to r e t u r n to norm a l after the type o f c h e m o t h e r a p y she was h a v i n g , b u t o n c e she learned the simple visualization t e c h n i q u e that I will s h a r e with y o u in a few m o m e n t s , h e r system was c o m p l e t e l y r e j u v e n a t e d a f t e r j u s t five d a y s . T h e d o c t o r c o u l d h a r d l y b e l i e v e it. A less s e r i o u s b u t e q u a l l y d r a m a t i c e x a m p l e w a s a n actress friend of m i n e w h o n o t i c e d she was g e t t i n g a c o l d s o r e , w h i c h n o r m a l l y w o u l d last f o r u p t o five d a y s . S h e was d u e to b e g i n filming later that evening. S h e r e l a x e d her

body,

t h e n visualized

herself using

the

immune-

s y s t e m b o o s t e r e a c h d a y f o r five d a y s , c r o s s i n g t h e d a y s off a m e n t a l c a l e n d a r o n e at a t i m e . Five " i n n e r days" later, s h e v i s u a l i z e d t h e c o l d s o r e g o n e . W h e n s h e c a m e back o u t of relaxed visualization or trance, the tingle that usually signified the i m m i n e n t onset of a cold sore h a d disappeared, and it never came back. My inspiration for the immune-system booster c a m e f r o m a n e x p e r i m e n t c a r r i e d o u t b y Dr. K a r e n O l n e s s a t the Rainbow Babies' a n d Children's Hospital in Cleveland.

The

experiment

involved

a

group

of children

being shown a video featuring puppets. O n e p u p p e t repr e s e n t e d a virus; another, w h i c h l o o k e d like a p o l i c e m a n , r e p r e s e n t e d the i m m u n e system. T h e v i d e o was a simplified illustration of the internal workings of the b o d y that t h e c h i l d r e n c o u l d easily u n d e r s t a n d . W h e n t h e v i d e o w a s over, t h e c h i l d r e n w e r e t o l d t o close their eyes, relax, a n d i m a g i n e lots o f p o l i c e m e n p u p pets r u n n i n g a r o u n d their bodies.

162

Saliva s a m p l e s w e r e


t h e n t a k e n f r o m e a c h child, a n d t h e results s h o w e d that their i m m u n o g l o b u l i n levels h a d substantially i n c r e a s e d — t h a t is,

their i m m u n e

systems

had b e g u n working as

t h o u g h they w e r e fighting off real infections. I b e g a n w a d i n g t h r o u g h t h e clinical r e s e a r c h in a relatively new area known as psychoneuroimmunology,

or

PNI. T h e r e , I f o u n d masses of irrefutable e v i d e n c e conf i r m i n g t h a t it's p o s s i b l e t o b o o s t y o u r i m m u n e s y s t e m j u s t b y t h i n k i n g a b o u t i t i n certain ways. T h e i d e a b e h i n d P N I i s t h a t o u r b o d y k n o w s h o w t o r e p a i r itself a n d m a i n t a i n p e r f e c t holistic health. P r o g r a m m e d into y o u r i m m u n e system is t h e ability to r e c o g n i z e t h o s e cells that b e l o n g to y o u a n d those that are invaders from the outside, w h i c h must be destroyed or appropriately consumed. O n c e y o u r i m m u n e system c o m e s i n contact with bacteria, viruses, or a b n o r m a l cells, it will n e v e r f o r g e t the e n c o u n t e r . D u r i n g its first e x p o s u r e , y o u r i m m u n e system produces targeted "biochemical weapons" designed to c o m b a t that specific a b n o r m a l invader. Y o u r i m m u n e system is strong a n d intelligent e n o u g h to c o n t r o l a n d c o o r d i n a t e its a c t i o n s s o t h a t y o u e f f o r t l e s s l y m a i n t a i n a s t a t e o f h e a l t h y vitality.

The Immune-System Booster A n o r m a l , h e a l t h y i m m u n e system is a w o n d e r f u l t h i n g a n d has almost miraculous healing powers. But those powers can be enhanced through the application of the s i m p l e visualization I will be s h a r i n g with y o u . Here's a letter I received recently f r o m o n e of my

163

PAUL

McKENNA

students w h o used these techniques to m a k e a dramatic d i f f e r e n c e i n h i s o w n life a n d i n t h e l i v e s o f o t h e r s :

Dear

Paul,

A b o u t five y e a r s a g o , I r e c e i v e d t h e w o r s t n e w s I c o u l d h a v e f e a r e d . A s u c c e s s f u l sales e x e c u t i v e , I h a d b e e n t r o u b l e d by strange bouts of dizziness, n u m b n e s s , a n d s l u r r i n g . A t o n e sales p r e s e n t a t i o n , I h a d e v e n b e e n struck d u m b in m i d s e n t e n c e . After extensive medical tests, t h e n e u r o l o g i s t g a v e t h e d r e a d f u l d i a g n o s i s m u l tiple sclerosis (MS), the incurable a n d degenerative n e r v e d i s e a s e . T h e n e w s c a m e a s a h a m m e r blow. M y d r e a m s f o r t h e f u t u r e w e r e s w e p t away, a n d t h e d o c tors t o l d m e t o b r a c e m y s e l f f o r " m a n a g e d d e c l i n e " — t h e h e a r t l e s s c l i n i c a l t e r m f o r t h e i n e x o r a b l e slide i n t o d e p e n d e n c y , disease, a n d death. With careful m a n a g e m e n t , t h e d o c t o r s said, I m i g h t l o o k f o r w a r d t o a p e r i o d o f relatively n o r m a l l i v i n g — p e r h a p s a year, possibly a

little

more—before

the

d r e a d e d illness

s t a r t e d t o r o t m y n e r v e s o n c e m o r e . I was e n c o u r a g e d t o g o away a n d cry, a s I n e e d e d t o c o m e t o t e r m s w i t h my plight. Two exacerbations of the disease in the s p a c e o f two m o n t h s i n d i c a t e d t o m y n e u r o l o g i s t t h a t M S was v e r y active i n m y b o d y , a n d his v i e w was t h a t this was likely t o b r i n g a b o u t m y swift d e c l i n e . H o w e v e r , after six m o n t h s o f t h e d e e p e s t despair, m y attitude a b o u t this disease c h a n g e d , a n d I b e g a n t o m o v e t o w a r d h o p e . I t r a n s f o r m e d m y way o f l i f e — starting with a radical c h a n g e of d i e t — a n d r e a c h i n g

164

Change


i n t o m y d e e p e s t p h i l o s o p h i c a l a n d spiritual attitudes. T h e catalyst f o r this c h a n g e was y o u r CD Supreme Self Confidence.

I n o t i c e d t h a t f r o m s o m e w h e r e within a

n e w f o u n d h o p e s u r g e d . In my m i n d ' s eye I c r e a t e d a positive a n d v i b r a n t self-image, w h i c h I m o v e d t o w a r d w i t h i n c r e a s i n g c o n f i d e n c e . O n e y e a r after m y d i a g n o sis, I was b a c k to my o p t i m a l w e i g h t ; f o l l o w i n g L a s i k eye surgery, I h a d 2 0 / 2 0 vision f o r t h e first t i m e ; a n d I was e v e n b a c k p l a y i n g r u g b y a g a i n . T h i s was a positive reinf o r c e m e n t o f m y new, healthy, i n v i g o r a t e d self-image. In this t i m e I also d i s c o v e r e d t h a t t r a d i t i o n a l C h i nese m e d i c i n e — d e v e l o p e d over thousands of y e a r s — o f f e r e d i n t e r e s t i n g possibilities. I t h r e w m y s e l f i n t o a n i n t e n s i v e e d u c a t i o n i n t h e s u b j e c t , b e c o m i n g first a p a t i e n t of,

a n d subsequently accomplished in,

a n c i e n t C h i n e s e h e a l i n g arts,

the

particularly acupunc-

t u r e a n d t h e a d v a n c e d e n e r g y a n d m i n d - h e a l i n g system of medical qigong. I have studied with leading g r a n d m a s t e r s i n C h i n a a n d t h e U n i t e d States a n d I a m now one of Europe's foremost exponents of medical q i g o n g , t e a c h i n g a c u p u n c t u r i s t s h o w t o utilize

this

p o w e r f u l h e a l i n g system. I a m n o w i n d i e b e s t physical a n d m e n t a l h e a l t h o f m y life. I c o n t i n u e t o h a r n e s s t h e p o w e r o f m y u n c o n s c i o u s m i n d a s m y life a n d h e a l t h c o n t i n u e t o flourish. A m a z ingly, five years after t h e e v e n i n g I first l i s t e n e d to y o u r C D , I h a v e n o t h a d a single e x a c e r b a t i o n of M S , a n d I have b e e n completely symptom free for m o r e than four years. I am h o n o r e d to h a v e n o w b e c o m e a s t u d e n t of

165

PAUL

MCKENNA

P a u l M c K e n n a , a n d as a C h i n e s e m e d i c a l practitioner, I regularly a n d successfully treat p e o p l e suffering f r o m M S a n d o t h e r " i n c u r a b l e " diseases. A s p a r t o f m y treatm e n t I often prescribe Paul M c K e n n a CDs. P e o p l e like m e — h o p e l e s s cases, a s j u d g e d b y Western

medical

standards—are

living

p r o o f that

the

p o w e r o f the u n c o n s c i o u s m i n d has p r o f o u n d lessons f o r u s all. F o r m e , h e a l i n g o t h e r s i s n o w m o r e t h a n j u s t a m i s s i o n — i t i s also a n a m a z i n g a d v e n t u r e i n life, a n d i n living.

W h e t h e r y o u ' r e as healthy as an ox or y o u ' r e currently e x p e r i e n c i n g symptoms of unwellness, take a few m i n u t e s n o w t o try t h e f o l l o w i n g t e c h n i q u e :

166

Change


Immune-System Booster Please for

note:

medical

tion

with

this

technique

treatment, treatments

is

although prescribed

not it

intended may

by

be

your

as used

a in

substitute conjunc-

physician.

1. Close your eyes and imagine your immune system in a way that appeals to you. My personal preference is to think of it as lots of light-colored jellyfish-type creatures, which is similar to how the protective cells actually look. Make sure there are plenty of them, and see them as strong and purposeful. 2. Next, imagine traveling inside your b o d y to the area that needs healing, and notice how you imagine the problem manifesting. You might see the infection or diseased cells as lots of little tiny black jelly globules. 3. In your mind, see the big light-colored jellyfish encapsulating and devouring the little black globules. 4. When the little black globules are gone, it's very important to then imagine the light jellyfish happily swimming and patrolling your bloodstream. This is to ensure that you do not overstimulate your immune system. 5. Now imagine a healthier you standing or sitting in front of you. See how the healthier you looks, breathes, and smiles. 6. Finally, step into the healthier you, see through the eyes of the healthier you, hear through the healthier you's ears, and feel how much better you feel!

167

PAUL

McKENNA

By now, I'm sure y o u ' v e b e g u n to realize y o u r amazing potential for health, energy, a n d well-being. Return to t h e ideas a n d e x e r c i s e s in this c h a p t e r as o f t e n as y o u like to u n l e a s h that potential a n d e n e r g i z e o n e of the cornerstones of w e a l t h — y o u r physical body! Until tomorrow, Paul

PS.

McKenna

Tomorrow,

we'll take a look at another cornerstone of wealth

and the key to a happy, healthy life—the ability to create money from

every

opportunity!

168

DAY

6

CREATING MONEY Discovering the secrets of the millionaire's mind

PAUL

McKENNA

Before you begin today: • Listen to the hypnotic trance (www.paulmckenna.com/trance). • Take a few minutes to go through the "Reprogramming Your Self-Image" exercise on p a g e 3 5 . •

Review your purpose, values, and big dream from day four.

• If you need more energy, guide yourself through the natural relaxation exercise from day five. • Choose your favorite exercise from days two and three to create a great state and program your day!

170

I n days gone by, there was a wealthy man who had a wonderful steamship, but as is the way with expensive things, it was prone to breaking down.

One day,

after a particularly difficult journey to

a foreign land,

the engine failed and no one could get it going

again. One by one every mechanic and engineer in tlie land was summoned to try to fix the engine, and one by one they failed. Finally, word came to the wealthy man of a wise old shipmaker who might be able to help, but at a hefty price. The wealthy man agreed at once. Soon an old man who looked like he must have been fixing ships for a hundred years arrived. He carried a large bag of tools and immediately went to work. He inspected the large network of pipes leading to and from the engine very carefully, placing his hand upon the pipes to test for warmth.

171

occasionally

PAUL

Finally,

the old shipmaker reached into his bag and pulled out

a small hammer. Instantly, heard,

McKENNA

He gently

tapped against

one of the pipes.

the sound of steam rushing through the pipes could be

and the engine lurched into life as the shipmaker carefully

put his hammer away. When the wealthy man asked the shipmaker what he owed him, the bill came to ten thousand dollars—a princely sum in those days. "What?" the wealthy owner exclaimed,

outraged.

"You hardly

did anything at all! Justify your bill or I will have you thrown into

jail."

The old shipmaker began to scrawl something onto a ragged piece of paper he pulled from his pocket. The wealthy man smiled as he read it and apologized to the shipmaker for his rude behavior. This is what it said:

For tapping with a hammer For knowing where to tap

172

$1 $9,999

T H E W E A L T H O F THE W O R L D Y o u are o n e of the wealthiest p e o p l e Lack of money is the

w h o h a s ever lived. Now, I don't k n o w you, of course, b u t I c a n still safely m a k e m y a s s e r t i o n

root of all evil. —George Bernard Shaw

because our m o d e r n culture is so m u c h wealthier

than

any previous

society in

the

history of

m a n k i n d . In fact, w h e n I walk d o w n t h e street in a l m o s t a n y city I visit, I ' m s t r u c k b y h o w m u c h w e a l t h t h e r e i s i n t h e w o r l d a n d h o w f e w o f u s a r e t r u l y a w a r e o f it. R e a l wealth isn't j u s t a b o u t m o n e y — i t ' s a b o u t y o u r access to resources, w h e t h e r or n o t those resources technically b e l o n g to you.

T h e Indian g u r u Swami

Muk-

t a n a n d a , u p o n a r r i v i n g i n A m e r i c a f o r t h e first t i m e , s t o o d i n t h e a i r p o r t a n d said: " T h e y live i n p a r a d i s e , y e t t h e y w i l l n e v e r k n o w i t . " Just think about what y o u have accessible to you even if y o u h a v e virtually no m o n e y at a l l — b e a u t i f u l streets a n d p a r k s t o walk t h r o u g h , libraries full o f b o o k s t o r e a d , schools for y o u r children, a n d hospitals for y o u r body. In short, things that w e r e available only to the privileged elite a few short c e n t u r i e s a g o p r o b a b l y feel like y o u r birthright. Real wealth is about having an abundance of g o o d health

and

true

happiness.

It's

about

having

good

friends or family y o u can share intimate a n d pleasurable e x p e r i e n c e s with a n d l a u g h with, p e o p l e w h o stimulate

173

PAUL MCKENNA

a n d fascinate you. Real wealth is feeling h a p p y most of t h e t i m e . It's a s e n s e o f k n o w i n g t h a t y o u a r e c o n t r i b u t i n g s o m e t h i n g t o t h e w o r l d a n d that y o u r life i s w o r t h w h i l e . A f t e r all, y o u a r e u n i q u e — n o b o d y c a n d o t h i n g s exactly the way y o u do them. Of course, wealth is also partly a b o u t h a v i n g money. A n d today we are g o i n g to focus very specifically a n d very deliberately on that o n e t h i n g — m o n e y .

ALL A B O U T MONEY T h e earliest system of trade was bartering. C o i n s w e r e the f i r s t officially s a n c t i o n e d I O U s , u s e d t o r e p r e s e n t t h e v a l u e of things in the world. T h e n came paper money. A bankn o t e o r a d o l l a r bill i s e s s e n t i a l l y a n I O U f r o m t h e g o v e r n m e n t . Until recently, they u s e d to print only as m a n y notes a n d bills a s t h e y h a d g o l d r e s e r v e s t o b a c k t h e m u p . However, in the 1940s the g o v e r n m e n t s of the w o r l d decided to a b a n d o n the gold standard. Since then, they have b e e n printing m o n e y as t h o u g h it was g o i n g o u t of fashion. Now, the g o l d in reserve is only a fraction of the a m o u n t of paper m o n e y in circulation, and even paper m o n e y i s b e i n g r e p l a c e d b y plastic c r e d i t cards a n d n u m bers in computers. So m o n e y is e s s e n t i a l l y a symbol of value—that is, it r e p r e s e n t s v a l u e , a l t h o u g h i t h a s n o i n h e r e n t v a l u e o f its own. Since our m o n e y is no longer backed by gold, why d o w e still a c t a s i f it's w o r t h s o m e t h i n g ?

174

Change


B e c a u s e of o u r c o n f i d e n c e or faith in the source of the m o n e y — i n t h i s c a s e , t h e g o v e r n m e n t t h a t i s s u e d it. T h i s leads us to a simple yet radical way of thinking a b o u t money:

Money is a symbol of our confidence in our products, our services, and ourselves! H e r e ' s h o w a u t h o r S e r g e K a h i l i K i n g p u t s it:

P e o p l e c a n fail, t o o , w h e n [we] l o s e c o n f i d e n c e i n t h e m o r w h e n t h e y lose c o n f i d e n c e i n t h e m s e l v e s , r e g a r d l e s s o f t h e v a l u e o f t h e i r g o o d s a n d services. Likewise,

p e o p l e can succeed w h e n p e o p l e have

extraordinary confidence in t h e m or w h e n they have e x t r a o r d i n a r y c o n f i d e n c e i n t h e m s e l v e s , also r e g a r d less of t h e v a l u e of t h e i r g o o d s a n d s e r v i c e s . . . . If you want to have m o r e m o n e y in your l i f e — f o r yourself or to help others or b o t h — t h e n y o u have t o m a k e y o u r s e l f m o r e v a l u a b l e i n t h e eyes o f o t h e r people. It won't be e n o u g h to provide valuable g o o d s a n d services, or to be in the right p l a c e at the right time, or even to pick the right n u m b e r s . You'll h a v e t o b e m o r e spiritual t h a n that. Y o u ' l l h a v e t o h a v e m o r e faith, m o r e c o n f i d e n c e , i n y o u r o w n v a l u e , as a p r o v i d e r or as a p e r s o n .

This

reveals

the

magic

money:

175

formula for

making

more

PAUL

McKENNA

The more confidence we have in ourselves and/or our products or services, the more we will be able to charge for them. A n d here's the really g o o d news: if m o n e y is confid e n c e , a n d c o n f i d e n c e is a state, t h e n y o u already h a v e e v e r y t h i n g i t t a k e s t o m a k e all t h e m o n e y y o u c o u l d e v e r p o s s i b l y w a n t — y o u j u s t h a v e t o c h o o s e t o c u l t i v a t e it!

H O W I B E C A M E A MILLIONAIRE B e f o r e I s t a r t e d u s i n g t h e t e c h n i q u e s I will b e s h a r i n g w i t h y o u i n this c h a p t e r , I w a s i n d e b t , l i v i n g f r o m d a y t o d a y i n a tiny r o o m I r e n t e d in s o m e o n e else's a p a r t m e n t . I h a d a small circle of friends a n d a j o b I d i d n ' t really like. It was a n effort t o g e t myself u p a n d o u t o f b e d i n the m o r n i n g . Within a few months, I h a d completely transformed my financial situation. I m a d e m o r e m o n e y in those few m o n t h s t h a n I h a d in the previous few years. This n e w p a t t e r n i n m y life s t a r t e d a c h a i n r e a c t i o n , a n d I b e g a n creating m o n e y everywhere I looked.

I d e v e l o p e d an

amazingly successful s e c o n d career, the success of w h i c h i s p r o b a b l y w h y y o u ' r e r e a d i n g this b o o k , a n d m y circle expanded

to

include

people

I'm

proud

to

number

a m o n g m y f r i e n d s n e a r l y t w o d e c a d e s later. W i t h i n a f e w years, I h a d b e c o m e a millionaire. W h a t ' s fascinating is that until that p o i n t , I h a d always believed that in order to m a k e m o n e y I h a d to go out into the world a n d get it f r o m other people. Instead, as I

176

Change


c h a n g e d myself a n d my perception of the world, m o n e y b e g a n flowing to m e . After a few m o r e years h a d passed, I b e g a n t e a c h i n g others the principles of h o w I h a d crea t e d a b u n d a n c e i n m y life, a n d v e r y q u i c k l y t h e i r lives transformed too. N o w I'm going to share those same secrets with y o u !

HOW TO OVERCOME THE P O V E R T Y C O N S C I O U S N E S S R e s e a r c h has s h o w n that a massive prop o r t i o n of those w h o s u d d e n l y g e t large

I f someone hands

s u m s o f m o n e y — f o r e x a m p l e , f r o m lot-

you a million

t e r i e s or i n h e r i t a n c e s — a r e a l m o s t g u a r -

dollars, best you

a n t e e d to l o s e it all v e r y q u i c k l y . In f a c t ,

become a millionaire,

80 p e r c e n t a r e a c t u a l l y w o r s e o f f f i n a n -

or you won't get to

d a i l y j u s t t w o y e a r s later. T h a t ' s b e c a u s e keep the money. i n s i d e t h e y still f e e l p o o r .

—Jim Rohn

In psychology, this is r e f e r r e d to as t h e P y g m a l i o n e f f e c t , o r t h e self-fulfilling p r o p h e c y , w h i c h I've talked a b o u t already. W h a t w e e x p e c t t o b e true i n o u r m i n d s w i l l t e n d t o b e c o m e t r u e i n reality. E v e n i f o u r e x p e c t a t i o n s a r e n ' t initially a c c u r a t e , we act in ways that are consistent with o u r expectations. T h o s e actions then create t h e results w e e x p e c t e d , a n d the " p r o p h e c y " o f o u r e x p e c t a t i o n s is fulfilled. I f y o u b e l i e v e y o u c a n ' t really b e c o m e wealthy, y o u will speak a n d act consistently with that belief a n d in most cases " p r o v e " y o u r s e l f right. Similarly, i f y o u c h a n g e y o u r

177

PAUL

MCKENNA

expectations of the w o r l d to reflect y o u r infinite potential f o r w e a l t h , y o u will quickly g e n e r a t e the t h o u g h t s , feeli,

ings, a n d behaviors that will draw m o n e y t o y o u . O u r culture is continually p r o g r a m m i n g us with negative f i n a n c i a l a s s o c i a t i o n s . W e h a v e b e e n t a u g h t t h i n g s l i k e , t h e B i b l e says, " M o n e y i s t h e r o o t o f a l l e v i l . " W h a t t h e B i b l e a c t u a l l y says is, " T h e love o f m o n e y i s t h e r o o t o f all e v i l " — t h a t is, t h e a c q u i r i n g o f m o n e y f o r its o w n s a k e , as a c o m m o d i t y to be h o a r d e d . Or we are told that there is only a finite a m o u n t of w e a l t h a n d that t h e m o r e w e h a v e , t h e less t h e r e will b e f o r o t h e r s . O r t h a t all r i c h p e o p l e a r e liars a n d thieves. (It's c o m m o n i n o u r c u l t u r e t o h e a r t e r m s s u c h a s " f i l t h y r i c h " or "fat cat," w h i c h are indicative of an u n d e r l y i n g mistrust of p e o p l e with money.) M a n y o f these limiting ideas a b o u t m o n e y are historically derived. D u r i n g the M i d d l e A g e s , t h e f e u d a l system k e p t w e a l t h i n t h e h a n d s o f t h e p r i v i l e g e d few, w h i l e t h e masses w e r e tricked into believing that poverty was their salvation. T h i s hierarchical system o f p o w e r w o r k e d o n the assumption that there is only a finite a m o u n t to go a r o u n d , i m p l y i n g a scarcity of wealth. Poverty was g l a m o r ized by the c h u r c h , a n d for m a n y years it was actually considered a Christian virtue to be poor, You can't help the

with m o n k s having to

poor by being one of

poverty to be initiated into their order.

them. —Abraham Lincoln

Some

take a vow of

people who grew up during

t h Depression, or w h o experienced the e

r a t i o n i n g o f f o o d a n d essentials d u r i n g

178

Change


W o r l d W a r II, still c a r r y a n u n c o n s c i o u s b e l i e f t h a t t h e r e just won't be enough to go around. A n d many of them have unconsciously passed these limiting beliefs on to their children. Even if y o u believe some of these things are true, it is important that y o u recognize the i n h e r e n t p r o b l e m :

If you believe money is bad in some way, you will unconsciously sabotage your attempts to create more of it in your life. I've f o u n d t h a t m o s t wealthy, successful p e o p l e t e n d t o share the s a m e simple habits a n d beliefs a b o u t prosperity. However, I believe that m a n y p e o p l e unknowingly use this s a m e p o w e r f u l p r i n c i p l e t o k e e p t h e m s e l v e s p o o r , t h r o u g h the beliefs a n d habits they have toward money. Instead of taking responsibility for their beliefs a n d actions (and therefore their wealth), they use their lack of m o n e y as " p r o o f that they are m e a n t to be poor. T h e y have affirmed their poverty over a n d over so m a n y times that it u n w i t t i n g l y b e c a m e a self-fulfilling p r o p h e c y , . a poverty consciousness. T h i s i s n o t t o say t h a t i f y o u a r e p o o r t h a t i t i s i n a n y way y o u r fault. W e are n o t responsible for the h a n d w e are dealt, b u t we c a n a n d m u s t take full responsibility for h o w we play that hand. F o r e x a m p l e , s o m e artists b e l i e v e t h a t t h e y c a n n o t have c o m m e r c i a l success because it w o u l d c o m p r o m i s e t h e i r artistic integrity. O t h e r p e o p l e b e l i e v e t h a t y o u c a n ' t

779

PAUL

McKENNA

b e a g o o d p e r s o n u n l e s s y o u a r e always p u t t i n g o t h e r s first, e v e n i f it's t o y o u r o w n d e t r i m e n t . S o m e p e o p l e stay p o o r b e c a u s e it feels s a f e r — i t ' s w h a t they know. As y o u u s e t h e

Change Your Life in Seven Days s y s t e m ,

y o u are g o i n g to let go of any o l d limiting ideas y o u h a d about money and reprogram your mind to become more p r o s p e r o u s a n d think like a millionaire. H e r e are two m e n t a l laws t h a t e x p l a i n w h y s o m e p e o p l e b e c o m e s t u c k in a never-ending l o o p of poverty while others seem to turn everything they t o u c h to gold.

A

particular

of

thought

train

persisted in,

THE L A W O F R E V E R S E D EFFORT

be it

good or bad,

One

cannot fail

to

hypnosis is called "the law of reversed

produce

results

effort." T h e law of reversed effort c a n

in

its

A

circumstances. man

directly

most important ideas

in

be s u m m e d up in the p o p psychology

the character

and

of the

phrase:

cannot

choose his

circumstances,

What you resist persists.

but

he can choose his

S o m e p e o p l e have deep-rooted be-

thoughts,

and so

liefs t h a t k e e p t h e m p o o r . F o r o n e r e a -

indirectly,

yet

son or a n o t h e r they sabotage themselves

shape his

from getting rich. No matter h o w hard

surely,

circumstances. —-James Allen

t h e y try c o n s c i o u s l y , t h e i r u n c o n s c i o u s b e l i e f s will n o t s u p p o r t t h e m . Yet the law of reversed effort teaches

180

Change


us that if d e e p d o w n y o u think of yourself as poor, you'll c o n s t a n d y f e a r poverty. S i n c e w h a t y o u focus o n y o u g e t m o r e of, p o v e r t y i s u s u a l l y e x a c t i y w h a t y o u ' l l g e t . T h e e x c e p t i o n to that rule are p e o p l e w h o are driven t o a c c u m u l a t e m o n e y b y t h e i r f e a r o f poverty. I've m e t and gotten to know some of the richest p e o p l e in the w o r l d , b u t few o f t h e m h a v e w h a t I'd call real wealth. Many of t h e m are workaholics, driven to look for their next million at the cost of time for family or friends. T h e y are driven by a fear of poverty, a n d no m a t t e r h o w m u c h m o n e y t h e y a c c u m u l a t e , i t will n e v e r b e e n o u g h . Obviously a c o n c e r n for organized finances is n o t the s a m e as a d r e a d of poverty. B u t that d e e p - r o o t e d fear of poverty is why some p e o p l e m a n a g e to amass h u g e riches without ever getting o u t of the trap of poverty consciousness.

THE LAW OF A T T R A C T I O N Have you ever thought about someone and, moments later, t h e p h o n e r i n g s a n d it's t h e m ? H o w d i d y o u e x p l a i n that to yourself? Was it telepathy? C o i n c i d e n c e ? M a g n e t i c attraction? Or perhaps y o u w e r e thinking a b o u t getting a particular car a n d t h e n suddenly b e g a n seeing that type o f c a r e v e r y w h e r e . H o w d i d y o u e x p l a i n that? T h e L a w o f A t t r a c t i o n states:

What you focus on consistendy, you get more of in your life.

181

PAUL

MCKENNA

I f y o u focus o n poverty a n d lack, y o u When

asked

the

will t e n d t o g e t m o r e o f that i n y o u r

secret to great

life* I f y o u f o c u s o n t h e w e a l t h t h a t i s

wealth,

already

H. L.

billionaire Hunt gave a

simple

four-step

Decide on

what

it is that you want. what

are

willing

to give up to get it.

to

get

our own

luck.

T h a t is

what's

m e a n t w h e n i t says i n t h e B i b l e , " A s a m a n thinketh, so is he."

believe

in

interesting

or the to

not law note

you

choose

to

of attraction,

it's

that m a n y highly

successful p e o p l e d o . T h i s is o n e reason why rich p e o p l e t e n d to associate with o t h e r rich p e o p l e a n d why they get

Set your

richer.

priorities

that is b o t h powerful a n d creative.

accordingly. 4.

tend

tive i n l i f e a n d a t t r a c t i t t o t h e m a r e

Whether

2. Decide

3.

will

m o r e . T h o s e w h o focus u p o n the posi-

create

you

you

c a l l e d lucky. I p e r s o n a l l y b e l i e v e we c a n

formula:

I.

there,

Go about it!

Your

thoughts

are

an

energy

S o m e p e o p l e believe the m i n d is like a magnet, and what we hold uppermost in o u r attention we attract to us.

In

m u s i c , this is c a l l e d t h e p r i n c i p l e of sympathetic resonance. If y o u have two pianos in the same r o o m a n d y o u h i t a C o n o n e p i a n o , y o u will f i n d t h a t t h e C s t r i n g o n t h e o t h e r p i a n o starts v i b r a t i n g a t t h e s a m e r a t e . I n t h e s a m e way, y o u a r e a l w a y s a t t r a c t i n g p e o p l e a n d circumstances that resonate with y o u r p r e d o m i n a n t thoughts. Wouldn't it be g o o d to attune your m i n d to notice

how many opportunities

182

there

are

to

become

Change


w e a l t h i e r ? I f y o u w a n t t o b e c o m e r i c h a n d stay r i c h , y o u need

to

begin

thinking

of yourself as

someone

who

deserves great wealth. Y o u must begin by feeling rich within for it to manifest outwardly. As y o u b e g i n to truly see y o u r s e l f as a w e a l t h y p e r s o n , y o u will see y o u r financial a b u n d a n c e grow.

CREATING WEALTH C O N S C I O U S N E S S W h a t w e a r e g o i n g t o d o n e x t will h e l p y o u d e v e l o p a n d install in y o u r m i n d a w e a l t h c o n s c i o u s n e s s . T h i s is a b o u t m u c h m o r e than attracting m o n e y — i t ' s a c h a n g e in your self-image to o n e of greater c o n f i d e n c e a n d g r e a t e r h a r m o n y so t h a t y o u b e g i n

Some men see things

to n o t i c e t h e a b u n d a n c e t h a t s u r r o u n d s

as they are and ask,

y o u . A n d it w i l l g r e a t l y e n h a n c e y o u r e x p e r i e n c e of b e i n g a l i v e .

that never were and

I'd like to s h a r e with y o u t h e s a m e t e c h n i q u e s t h a t I u s e d m y s e l f to d r a m a t ically

increase

my

Why ? I dream things

personal

ask, Why not? —George Bernard Shaw

financial

wealth. I t a u g h t t h e m to others, a n d they also i n c r e a s e d their financial wealth. N o w I'm g o i n g to share t h e m with you. W h e n I first d e c i d e d t o m a k e t h e s h i f t f r o m a p o v e r t y consciousness to o n e of wealth, I was constantly w o r r y i n g a b o u t b e i n g p o o r o r h o w n o t t o b e p o o r . I h a d a scruffy l i t t l e c h e c k b o o k t h a t r e f l e c t e d m y s c r u f f y little f i n a n c e s at t h e time. W h e n a bill c a m e in t h e mail, I'd w o r r y a b o u t

183

PAUL

MCKENNA

h o w I w a s g o i n g t o p a y it, a n d I ' d f e e l p o o r i n s i d e . T h i s continual focus on poverty k e p t me stuck in p o o r thinking and p o o r decision making. O n c e I'd m a d e the decision to affirm wealth instead, I b e g a n t o o p e n m y bills a n d v i v i d l y i m a g i n e t h a t I h a d t h o u sands in t h e b a n k , far m o r e t h a n I n e e d e d to p a y t h e bill. Y o u c a n i m a g i n e h o w g o o d that feels. I was s e n d i n g a n e w m e s s a g e t o m y u n c o n s c i o u s . S o m e p e o p l e try t o g e t t h e s a m e effect by saying affirmations like "I am wealthy, I am wealthy, I am wealthy," b u t if t h e r e is a b e l i e f in t h e u n c o n s c i o u s a b o u t p o v e r t y , t h e a f f i r m a t i o n i s n e x t t o u s e l e s s . It's not e n o u g h to hide your h e a d in the sand a n d p r e t e n d — y o u h a v e t o a c t u a l l y c r e a t e t h e feeling o f w e a l t h b y vividly imagining yourself as wealthy over a n d over again. O f c o u r s e , y o u d o have t o pay the bills, b u t c r e a t i n g the f e e l i n g o f w e a l t h will m a k e the p r o c e s s m o r e enjoyable a n d send you on the road to greater abundance. T h e m i n d i s s e n s i t i v e , s o it's i m p o r t a n t t o s i g n a l t o yourself that positive c h a n g e s are h a p p e n i n g . I c h a n g e d b a n k s a n d g o t a c l e a n n e w c h e c k b o o k t o h e l p m e start t o feel different. T h e n the real fun b e g a n . I n e e d e d to get a strong sense of what greater wealth w o u l d be like, so I g o t an o l d b a n k statement, c u t it u p , r e m o v e d the bit that said "overdrawn," r e a r r a n g e d the figures, a n d g l u e d it back together so that it s h o w e d thousands in credit. As s o o n as I'd finished, I burst o u t laughing. Somehow, even t h o u g h I k n e w I'd m a d e it u p , actually h o l d i n g it in my h a n d s m a d e it b e g i n to feel m o r e r e a l . I f o c u s e d o n i t s e v e r a l t i m e s e v e r y day. A n o t h e r t e c h n i q u e I u s e d was to practice writing o u t

184

Change


d e p o s i t slips a n d c h e c k s f o r m i l l i o n s o f d o l l a r s u n t i l I f e l t c o m f o r t a b l e d o i n g it. B y t h e t i m e I w a s a b l e t o f e e l c o m fortable "depositing" a n d "spending" such large amounts, it was easy f o r me to see m y s e l f as a truly w e a l t h y p e r s o n . To my surprise, within a few m o n t h s the imaginary amount on my h o m e m a d e bank statement had b e c o m e a reality.

Having that tangible piece of paper,

the b a n k

statement, h a d really h e l p e d . So I s e a r c h e d for o t h e r ways t o m a k e m y w e a l t h c o n s c i o u s n e s s tangible. I d e c i d e d to m a k e a "wealth s c r a p b o o k , " c o l l e c t i n g p i c t u r e s o f t h i n g s I w a n t e d , p l a c e s I w a n t e d t o visit, a n d people I wanted to meet. In order to make your own w e a l t h s c r a p b o o k , start c o l l e c t i n g p i c t u r e s o f t h i n g s y o u want, p e o p l e y o u ' d like to m e e t , a n d places y o u ' d like to g o . A n y t h i n g y o u ' d like t o b r i n g i n t o y o u r life, b r i n g i n t o your scrapbook. T h e n , every time y o u l o o k t h r o u g h your b o o k , pract i c e c r e a t i n g s e n s o r y - r i c h e x p e r i e n c e s o f y o u r g o a l s . I f it's a p a r t i c u l a r car, g o t a k e a t e s t d r i v e s o t h a t a f t e r w a r d y o u c a n vividly i m a g i n e d r i v i n g o n e , o v e r a n d o v e r a g a i n . I f it's a b e a u t i f u l h o u s e , i m a g i n e w a l k i n g a r o u n d i t u n t i l y o u know every inch of i t — t h e feeling of the carpet, the s m e l l o f t h e hallway, t h e t e x t u r e o f t h e f u r n i t u r e , a n d s o o n . It's v e r y s i m p l e , b u t i t d o e s t a k e r e g u l a r p r a c t i c e . Y o u are r e h e a r s i n g b e i n g wealthy, a n d like a M e t h o d actor, y o u n e e d t o totally g e t i n t o t h e part. O n e t i m e I w e n t i n t o a M e r c e d e s s h o w r o o m a n d sat i n a car to g e t c o m f o r t a b l e . I s m e l l e d t h e leather, w e n t for a test drive, a n d i m a g i n e d it was my o w n . I t o o k away a b r o c h u r e to a d d to my scrapbook a n d imagined driving

185

PAUL

McKENNA

i t e v e r y day. P r e t t y s o o n m y m i n d w a s s o f o c u s e d u p o n g e t t i n g me o n e that I started to see M e r c e d e s everywhere. Before long* a s e e m i n g c o i n c i d e n c e b r o u g h t a b a r g a i n d e a l m y way, a n d I b o u g h t m y first M e r c e d e s . A f r i e n d o f m i n e really g o t i n t o this type o f creative visualization.

H e ' d b e e n practicing visualizing parking

spaces, and amazingly, it s e e m e d to work. So he d e c i d e d to go for bigger things. Although

he'd

never

been

outside

England,

he

d e c i d e d t h a t h e w a n t e d t o t r a v e l t h e w o r l d i n style. H e d i d n ' t have m u c h m o n e y , b u t h e c o l l e c t e d s o m e travel b r o c h u r e s , c u t o u t t h e p i c t u r e s o f all t h e e x o t i c p l a c e s h e w a n t e d t o g o t o , a n d s t u c k t h e m i n his s c r a p b o o k . T h e n , i n o r d e r to m a k e it real to himself, e a c h S u n d a y for a m o n t h h e p a c k e d his suitcase a n d w e n t t o the airport, e v e n standi n g i n line b e f o r e finally t u r n i n g a r o u n d a n d g o i n g h o m e . W h e n he arrived h o m e , h e ' d watch a video of a prog r a m a b o u t t r a v e l i n g first c l a s s a n d s p e n d t i m e l o o k i n g t h r o u g h his s c r a p b o o k a t all t h e p l a c e s h e w a n t e d t o g o . H e really gave himself, his u n c o n s c i o u s , that e x p e r i e n c e of traveling to a n d enjoying exotic locations. He focused on it for a m o n t h nonstop. O n e day, w i t h n o w a r n i n g , h e w a s c a l l e d i n t o h i s boss's office a n d a s k e d i f h e w o u l d like t o b e c o m e their international reporter. His boss e x p l a i n e d it w o u l d m e a n t r a v e l i n g all o v e r t h e w o r l d — f i r s t c l a s s . H e c o u l d h a r d l y b e l i e v e it! M o s t a m a z i n g of all, after a few m o n t h s of traveling, he arrived at a small village in Switzerland w h e r e he b e g a n to g e t a feeling of deja vu. It was only w h e n he g o t

186

Change


b a c k t o E n g l a n d a n d c h e c k e d i n his s c r a p b o o k that h e realized h e ' d b e e n staying in the e x a c t same village h e ' d c u t o u t a n d p a s t e d into his s c r a p b o o k a n d ultimately his unconscious mind. E x t r a o r d i n a r y as it m a y s e e m , I have witnessed so many such

occurrences that I

have b e c o m e

skeptical

about the idea of coincidences and am willing to consider that a l t h o u g h I don't k n o w exactly h o w it works, o u r m i n d s m a y actually have t h e ability to attract events, t h i n g s , o r p e o p l e i n t o o u r lives.

MONEY, HAPPINESS, A N D Y O U B e f o r e we go any further, let me ask y o u a question:

What would having more money give you that you don't already have? W h e n e v e r I a s k this q u e s t i o n i n m y s e m i n a r s , p e o p l e give a n s w e r s like h a p p i n e s s , f r e e d o m , security, o r p o w e r . H o w e v e r , m o n e y itself i s n o t t h e s o u r c e o f a n y o f these things. E a c h o f t h e s e w o r d s r e p r e s e n t s a state y o u c a n generate within you, a neurochemical event in your b o d y a n d m i n d . Let's face i t — i f m o n e y was really t h e k e y to h a p p i n e s s , f r e e d o m ,

All the money in the

security,

world is spent on

or

power,

people

like

Kurt

Cobain, H o w a r d Hughes, Marilyn Monr o e , a n d J o h n B e l u s h i w o u l d still b e with us today.

187

feeling good. _ # y cooder

PAUL

MCKENNA

H e r e ' s a corollary to t h e law of reversed effort:

If you want to get something in order to feel a certain way, feeling that way now will be the fastest way to get it. Try t h e f o l l o w i n g t e c h n i q u e t o a p p l y this p r i n c i p l e t o creating financial a b u n d a n c e !

Anchor Yourself to Wealth 1. Make a list of all the states and feelings you believe money will bring you. Examples: confident, happy, peaceful, generous, etc. 2. C h o o s e the first state on your list. Remember a time when you really felt that way. Fully return to it n o w — s e e what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel how g o o d you felt. (If you can't remember a specific time, imagine how much better your life would be if you felt that way now!) 3. Keep going through this memory. Make the colors brighter and richer, the sounds louder, and the feelings stronger. 4. As you feel these g o o d feelings, s q u e e z e the thumb and middle finger of one of your hands together and say the words "I am wealthy!" in your mind or out loud.

188

Change


5. R e p e a t s t e p s 2-4 with e a c h emotional state on your list. Soon, just s q u e e z i n g the t h u m b and middle finger t o g e t h e r and

repeating

the

phrase

"I

am

wealthy!" will begin to bring back all those g o o d feelings you associate with wealth.

This is your "wealth anchor." Use it anytime you are thinking a b o u t or wanting more money to condition yourself for s u c c e s s !

S U C C E S S , M O N E Y , A N D TIME A n o t h e r o n e of the f u n d a m e n t a l aspects of the millionaire's m i n d - s e t i s s e p a r a t i n g o u t y o u r ability t o m a k e m o n e y f r o m t h e n e c e s s i t y o f s p e n d i n g t i m e t o d o it. T r a d ing y o u r time for m o n e y is the cornerstone of poverty consciousness.

(That's why you'll never m e e t a million-

aire w o r k i n g for an hourly wage!) If y o u w a n t to create massive financial a b u n d a n c e , it is n e c e s s a r y t o first r e c o g n i z e

that y o u r ability to m a k e

m o n e y is intimately l i n k e d to y o u r ability to a d d , create, a n d p r o v i d e value, w h e t h e r to a p e r s o n , a project, a c o m p a n y , o r a n e n t e r p r i s e . I n f a c t , I'll say i t e v e n m o r e c l e a r l y : Money is one of the rewards you get for adding value to the lives of others. T h e r e are essentially f o u r keys t o m a k i n g m o r e m o n e y by a d d i n g m o r e value:

189

PAUL

MCKENNA

/. Uniqueness T h e m o r e unique the value you provide, the m o r e y o u w i l l b e a b l e t o e x c h a n g e i t for. W h i l e t h e r e a r e t e n s o f thousands of actors in Hollywood, there are only a b o u t six a t a n y o n e t i m e w h o c a n reliably c a r r y a m o v i e . T h a t ' s w h y t h e r e are o n l y a b o u t six actors i n t h e w o r l d w h o are p a i d in e x c e s s of $20 m i l l i o n a m o v i e .

2. Scope T h e m o r e p e o p l e y o u a d d value to, the m o r e m o n e y y o u g e t t o m a k e . W h a t e v e r y o u m i g h t t h i n k o f Bill Gates a n d Microsoft, their billions of dollars in net worth is largely a c c o u n t e d f o r b y t h e m i l l i o n s o f p e o p l e w h o s e lives a r e i m p a c t e d d a i l y b y t h e d e v e l o p m e n t o f W i n d o w s a n d its c o m p e t i t i v e o p e r a t i n g systems.

3. Impact T h e m o r e o f a d i f f e r e n c e y o u m a k e i n t h e lives o f o t h e r s , the m o r e m o n e y you can d e m a n d in return. W h y do most doctors get paid m o r e than most teachers? Because most people value their health above their education.

4. Perception T h e r e are m a n y stories o f p e o p l e w o r k i n g tirelessly a n d anonymously b e h i n d the scenes to m a k e a difference in the world. While it may be true that these u n s u n g heroes are the real reason why the world works as well as it does,

190

Change


this d o e s n o t m e a n that these p e o p l e are d e s t i n e d t o b e c o m e rich. No matter h o w m u c h value y o u a d d to the world, it is only perceived value that can be e x c h a n g e d for hard currency. In the early 1970s, a r e c o r d label in Britain was selling albums

containing

cover

versions

of

contemporary

s o n g s . A l t h o u g h t h e r e c o r d s s o l d f o r less t h a n $ 2 a c o p y , hardly a n y o n e b o u g h t t h e m a n d the r e c o r d c o m p a n y was suffering. A whiz

kid j o i n e d

the

board

and

announced

he

wanted to m o r e than double the price of the records. T h e other executives were shocked but eventually agreed t o his p l a n . W i t h i n a f e w w e e k s , t h e r e c o r d s w e r e f l y i n g off the

shelves. W h e n

the

records

didn't cost m u c h ,

p e o p l e d i d n ' t value t h e m . T h e r e c o r d c o m p a n y was saved by redefining people's perception of the value of their product. In simple terms, in o r d e r to create money, I believe y o u n e e d t o g i v e s o m e t h i n g t o t h e w o r l d t h a t p e o p l e will p a y y o u for, p r e f e r a b l y p l e n t y . Y o u m i g h t f i n d i t u s e f u l t o ask y o u r s e l f the f o l l o w i n g w e a l t h - p r o d u c i n g q u e s t i o n :

What unique product or service would I like to provide that will be of massive value to the world?

191

"1 PAUL

McKENNA

K E E P I N G S C O R E WITH M O N E Y I t has b e e n said m a n y t i m e s that i n t h e g a m e o f life, m o n e y is just a way of k e e p i n g score. Now, if you're s o m e o n e w h o has never balanced a c h e c k b o o k o r r e c o n c i l e d y o u r b a n k s t a t e m e n t , this m i g h t s e e m a b i t s c a r y a t first, b u t w h e n y o u k n o w w h e r e y o u are in relation to money, it b e c o m e s possible to m e a s u r e your progress. A n d a s M i c h a e l L e B o e u f says i n

The Greatest Manage-

ment Secret in the World,

What gets measured gets done. Y o u will n e e d t o g e t s o m e p a p e r , a calculator, a n d very possibly a sense of h u m o r !

Wealth Measure 1: Your Net Worth N e t w o r t h is a traditional m e a s u r e of wealth. It is calcul a t e d b y a d d i n g a l l y o u r assets i n o n e c o l u m n a n d all y o u r debts in the other. D i v i d e a p i e c e o f p a p e r i n t o t w o c o l u m n s . O n t h e lefth a n d side, write "Assets"; o n t h e right, "Liabilities." I n t h e assets c o l u m n , w r i t e d o w n a n y t h i n g t h a t y o u o w n a n d approximately what that thing w o u l d be worth if y o u sold it t o d a y . I n t h e l i a b i l i t i e s c o l u m n , w r i t e d o w n a n y t h i n g y o u still o w e m o n e y for. T h i s m i g h t i n c l u d e y o u r h o m e , y o u r c a r ,

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a n d any m o n e y y o u o w e o n credit cards o r o t h e r outstanding loans. T h e formula for determining net worth is simple:

Total Assets — Total Liabilities = Net Worth D o n ' t be discouraged if y o u find y o u have a negative n e t w o r t h — t h e j o u r n e y t o w e a l t h always b e g i n s exactly w h e r e y o u are! Here's an example of h o w it might work:

Assets

Liabilities

H o u s e : $150,000

M o r t g a g e : $100,000

Car: $10,000

C a r l o a n : $3,000

IRA: $35,000

S t u d e n t l o a n : $15,000

M o n e y o w e d m e : $3,500

O u t s t a n d i n g bills: $2,500

Life i n s u r a n c e cash v a l u e : $15,000

C r e d i t cards: $4,500

T o t a l assets = $213,500 T o t a l liabilities = $125,000 $ 2 1 3 , 5 0 0 - $ 1 2 5 , 0 0 0 = $88,500 N e t w o r t h = $88,500

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PAUL

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KEEPING S C O R E WITH M O N E Y I t has b e e n said m a n y times that i n t h e g a m e o f life, m o n e y is j u s t a way of k e e p i n g score. Now, if you're s o m e o n e w h o has never b a l a n c e d a c h e c k b o o k o r r e c o n c i l e d y o u r b a n k s t a t e m e n t , this m i g h t s e e m a b i t s c a r y a t first, b u t w h e n y o u k n o w w h e r e y o u are in relation to money, it b e c o m e s possible to measure your progress. A n d a s M i c h a e l L e B o e u f says i n

The Greatest Manage-

ment Secret in the World,

What gets measured gets done. \ Y o u will n e e d t o g e t s o m e p a p e r , a calculator, a n d very possibly a sense of h u m o r !

Wealth Measure 1: Your Net Worth N e t w o r t h is a traditional m e a s u r e of wealth. It is calcul a t e d b y a d d i n g all y o u r a s s e t s i n o n e c o l u m n a n d all y o u r debts in the other. D i v i d e a p i e c e o f p a p e r i n t o t w o c o l u m n s . O n t h e lefth a n d side, write "Assets"; o n t h e right, "Liabilities." I n t h e assets c o l u m n , w r i t e d o w n a n y t h i n g t h a t y o u o w n a n d approximately what that thing w o u l d be worth if y o u sold it t o d a y . I n t h e l i a b i l i t i e s c o l u m n , w r i t e d o w n a n y t h i n g y o u still o w e m o n e y for. T h i s m i g h t i n c l u d e y o u r h o m e , y o u r c a r ,

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a n d any m o n e y y o u owe o n credit cards o r o t h e r outstanding loans. T h e formula for determining net worth is simple:

Total Assets — Total Liabilities = Net Worth D o n ' t be discouraged if you find you have a negative n e t w o r t h — t h e j o u r n e y t o w e a l t h always b e g i n s e x a c d y w h e r e y o u are! Here's an e x a m p l e of h o w it m i g h t work:

Assets

Liabilities

H o u s e : $150,000

M o r t g a g e : $100,000

Car: $10,000

C a r l o a n : $3,000

IRA: $35,000

S t u d e n t l o a n : $15,000

M o n e y o w e d m e : $3,500

O u t s t a n d i n g bills: $2,500

L i f e i n s u r a n c e cash v a l u e : $15,000

C r e d i t cards: $4,500

Total assets = $213,500 Total liabilities = $125,000 $ 2 1 3 , 5 0 0 - $ 125,000 = $88,500 N e t w o r t h = $88,500

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Wealth Measure 2: The Number of Days Forward You Can Live Without Earning Any More Money T o c a l c u l a t e y o u r n e x t w e a l t h s c o r e , s i m p l y take y o u r typical m o n t h l y e x p e n s e s a n d divide by 30. Let's call the answer y o u r daily rate. T h e n divide y o u r n e t w o r t h ( h o w m u c h y o u ' v e g o t m i n u s h o w m u c h y o u owe) b y y o u r daily rate. T h e a n s w e r i s t h e n u m b e r o f days y o u c a n live witho u t e a r n i n g any m o r e m o n e y . A s y o u r e a r n i n g s , savings, a n d investments c o n t i n u e to grow, y o u can k e e p score by h o w m a n y days y o u ' v e a d d e d t o y o u r w e a l t h score.

EXAMPLE

Y o u have a n e t w o r t h of $100,000 a n d m o n t h l y e x p e n s e s of $5,000. $5,000 d i v i d e d by 30 is $ 1 6 6 . 6 6 , or $ 1 6 7 . T h i s is y o u r daily rate. $100,000 divided by $ 1 6 7 is 598.8, or 599. T h i s m e a n s that if y o u h a d to, y o u c o u l d m a i n t a i n y o u r c u r r e n t lifestyle w i t h o u t e a r n i n g a n y m o r e m o n e y for 599 days (about IK years).

Wealth Measure 3: The Amount of Money You Wouldn't Worry About Losing This one's m o r e subjective, a n d easier to calculate. F o r e x a m p l e , twenty years a g o , I lost $50 a n d was n e a r l y suicid a l . N o w a d a y s , i f t h e a m o u n t I l o s e i s less t h a n $ 5 , 0 0 0 , I d o n ' t w o r r y a b o u t it. U s i n g t h i s s c a l e , m y w e a l t h s c o r e h a s g o n e f r o m a b o u t 5 t o o v e r 5 0 0 . P a r t l y this i s b e c a u s e I h a v e m o r e m o n e y . P a r t l y it's b e c a u s e I ' m m o r e c o n f i d e n t i n m y ability t o e a r n m o r e m o n e y . Partly I've j u s t

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l e a r n e d to relax. T h i s is o n e of my favorite measures of w e a l t h , b e c a u s e it's p o s s i b l e t o i n c r e a s e i t w i t h o u t e a r n ing any m o r e money!

Wealth Measure 4: You Magic Number for Financial Independence This is o n e of the most useful m o n e y formulas you'll ever c o m e a c r o s s . I t will h e l p y o u t o c a l c u l a t e y o u r m a g i c number

for

financial

independence—the

amount

of

m o n e y that, if y o u p u t it in the b a n k at an average (6-8 p e r c e n t ) rate o f r e t u r n , y o u w o u l d b e a b l e t o m a k e all y o u r decisions i n d e p e n d e n t of financial consideration.

1 . M a k e a list o f all t h e o n e t i m e p u r c h a s e s y o u w o u l d like t o m a k e i n y o u r lifetime a n d the a p p r o x i m a t e p r i c e — particularly any big-ticket items.

EXAMPLE

H o u s e : $250,000 C a r s : $50,000 A l u x u r y v a c a t i o n : $5,000 C o l l e g e e d u c a t i o n (x 3): $150,000 M i s c e l l a n e o u s fun: $45,000

2 . T o t a l u p all t h e i t e m s — t h i s i s f i g u r e A .

EXAMPLE

In

our

mathematically

convenient

$500,000 w o u l d d o u s nicely!

195

example

above,

1 PAUL

McKENNA

3. D e c i d e on a c o m f o r t a b l e a n n u a l salary f o r life. (If i n d o u b t , j u s t d o u b l e y o u r e x i s t i n g salary!)

EXAMPLE

I f y o u c u r r e n d y e a r n $ 2 5 , 0 0 0 , f i g u r e t h a t $50,000 a y e a r f o r life w o u l d p r o b a b l y c o v e r y o u r o n g o i n g n e e d s a n d w a n t s .

4. Multiply t h a t salary by 12

(approximately 8 per-

cent return) or by 15 (approximately 6 percent return). T h i s is t h e f i g u r e y o u w o u l d n e e d to invest at a fairly c o n servative rate o f r e t u r n t o " e a r n " y o u r a n n u a l salary f o r l i f e — w e ' l l call it figure B.

EXAMPLE

B e t w e e n $600,000 a n d $750,000

5. F i g u r e A + f i g u r e B = y o u r m a g i c n u m b e r — t h e a m o u n t of m o n e y y o u would n e e d to have in the b a n k in o r d e r t o b e u t t e r l y f i n a n c i a l l y i n d e p e n d e n t , t h a t is, a b l e t o m a k e all y o u r d e c i s i o n s i n d e p e n d e n t o f financial c o n cern or consideration.

EXAMPLE

M a g i c n u m b e r = 500,000 (A) + 750,000 (B) = $ 1 . 2 5 million for financial i n d e p e n d e n c e

THE TEN S E C R E T S O F A B U N D A N C E H e r e a r e t h e t e n b e s t ideas I c a n give y o u o n h o w t o start i n c r e a s i n g y o u r w e a l t h s c o r e s today. A n y o n e o f t h e s e will

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make an immediate difference to your wealth consciousness. A s y o u start u s i n g m o r e a n d m o r e o f t h e m i n y o u r day-to-day

life,

you'll

find

yourself on

the

fast

track

t o w a r d a w e a l t h i e r life, w i t h a millionaire's m i n d .

1. Decide Right Now That You Are Responsible for Your Financial Abundance Far too m a n y p e o p l e are scared to accept the responsibility o f h u g e f i n a n c i a l w e a l t h . W h e n y o u g e t m o r e m o n e y y o u r financial pressures d o n ' t get smaller, they get bigger. W h a t m o s t p e o p l e d o n ' t r e a l i z e is t h a t that's the fun of it\ A s y o u a c c e p t t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t h a t c o m e s w i t h playing the bigger m o n e y game, you b e c o m e a m o r e capable p e r s o n . T h e m o r e substantial the challenges, the m o r e substantial the rewards, n o t o n l y financially b u t spiritually a n d e m o t i o n a l l y a s w e l l . A n d a s y o u t a k e r e s p o n s i b i l ity f o r y o u r o w n f i n a n c i a l s u c c e s s , g e t t i n g w e a l t h i e r w i l l s e e m less a n d less o v e r w h e l m i n g a n d m o r e l i k e t h e p l e a s u r e it was always m e a n t to b e .

2. Save First, Then Spend Only What You Can Truly Afford In the same way that the real secret of losing weight is e a t i n g less a n d m o v i n g m o r e , t h e r e a l s e c r e t o f g a i n i n g w e a l t h i s s p e n d i n g less a n d e a r n i n g m o r e . C r e a t e a p l a n today that will e n a b l e y o u t o c l e a r a n y o u t s t a n d i n g d e b t s a n d build y o u r financial reservoir quickly as possible.

197

(see n u m b e r 4)

as

PAUL

X

McKENNA

C o n s i d e r t a k i n g t h e first 1 0 p e r -

The difference between

cent

poor people and rich

immediately

people is easy. The poor

y o u r d e b t a n d / o r build y o u r savings.

spend their money and

A s y o u take steps t o r e d u c e y o u r d e b t

then save what's left

and increase your net worth m o n t h

over; the rich save their

by month, you'll

money and then spend

transition f r o m trying to k e e p your

what's left over.

of your

monthly using

it

income to

pay

and down

quickly m a k e

the

h e a d above water to laying the foun-

—-Jim Rohn

dations of wealth.

3. Study Wealthy People O n e o f the q u i c k e s t ways t o b e c o m e w e a l t h y i s t o s p e n d time with

people

who

have

already achieved wealth.

R e m e m b e r , wealth is m o r e than financial a b u n d a n c e . Many p e o p l e have b e c o m e millionaires only to discover that a l o n g the way they lost s o m e t h i n g far m o r e i m p o r t a n t — t h e i r s e l f - r e s p e c t a n d s e n s e o f self. Take some time to research and discover your own "heroes of w e a l t h " — t h o s e people who've found a way to create

massive

financial

a b u n d a n c e without sacrificing

t h e i r lives o r t h e i r s o u l s a l o n g t h e way. F i n d o u t w h a t t h e y are d o i n g that y o u aren't. If

you

want

to

learn

understand

how

they

Seek to

think

and

about money, learn from

b e h a v e t o w a r d m o n e y a n d w e a l t h . If

somebody who has a lot

possible, contact t h e m a n d ask for

of

it. —Charles Givens

advice.

N o t only does asking m a k e

o t h e r p e o p l e aware of w h o y o u are, it a l s o l e t s t h e m k n o w t h a t y o u a r e tak-

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i n g y o u r p u r s u i t o f w e a l t h seriously. W h i l e n o t e v e r y o n e w i l l o f f e r t o h e l p , it's b e e n m y e x p e r i e n c e t h a t a s l o n g a s y o u are polite a n d respectful, m a n y wealthy p e o p l e are grateful for the opportunity to be of service.

4. Build Your Financial Reservoir T h e m o r e m o n e y y o u h a v e i n t h e b a n k , t h e less f r i g h t e n i n g it is to e x p e r i m e n t with n e w a n d different ways of making money. This is why the most powerful investment y o u c a n m a k e i s t o b u i l d y o u r f i n a n c i a l r e s e r v o i r — a savings a c c o u n t with b e t w e e n three m o n t h s ' a n d two years' s a l a r y i n it. In Dr. R i c h a r d C a r l s o n ' s b o o k Don't Worry, Make Money, h e tells t h e s t o r y o f t w o m e n w h o w e r e b o t h o f f e r e d t h e same j o b with a n e w c o m p a n y in the 1970s. T h e offer was for very low pay b u t a large a m o u n t o f stock. T h e m a n w h o was living f r o m p a y c h e c k to p a y c h e c k t h o u g h t it was t o o risky a n d p a s s e d ; t h e o n e w h o h a d a f i n a n c i a l r e s e r v o i r t o o k t h e offer. T h e c o m p a n y w a s M i c r o s o f t , a n d n e e d l e s s t o say, w i t h i n a f e w y e a r s t h e m a n w h o t o o k t h e risk h a d amassed a h u g e fortune. T h e m o r a l of the story is that in m o s t cases, c r e a t i n g abundance

usually

involves

some

risk,

and

nothing

m a k e s risk m o r e t o l e r a b l e t h a n h a v i n g m o n e y i n t h e b a n k . A s a u t h o r S t u a r t W i l d e says, " T h e t r i c k t o m o n e y i s having some."

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PAUL

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5. The 80/20 Rule O n c e you figure out what is most important to you, you 1

can

prioritize

your

life

accordingly.

The

nineteenth-

c e n t u r y e c o n o m i s t W i l f r i d P a r e t o w a s t h e first t o p o i n t o u t that approximately 80 p e r c e n t of the world's wealth was c o n c e n t r a t e d in the h a n d s of only 20 p e r c e n t of the world's population. T h e 80/20 rule holds true in m o s t areas of l i f e — 8 0 perc e n t o f y o u r results will t e n d t o c o m e f r o m 2 0 p e r c e n t o f y o u r e f f o r t s ; 8 0 p e r c e n t o f y o u r w e a l t h will c o m e f r o m 2 0 p e r c e n t of y o u r clients or customers. By identifying a n d concentrating on that all-important 20 percent, we can c o n t i n u a l l y r e f o c u s o u r p r i o r i t i e s w i t h a l a s e r l i k e intensity.

6. Get in Touch with Your Passion Every Day I r e m e m b e r t h a t y e a r s a g o , w h e n I first g o t i n t e r e s t e d i n hypnosis, o n e of the o l d stage p e r f o r m e r s I was l e a r n i n g f r o m was also a salesman. T h i s wasn't j u s t his j o b — i t was his passion. I n e v e r saw h i m go m o r e t h a n a c o u p l e of hours without selling something to s o m e o n e . W e ' d be at a restaurant a n d h e ' d strike up a conversation with the p e o p l e a t t h e n e x t table. B e f o r e l o n g , h e ' d f i n d o u t all a b o u t t h e i r n e e d s a n d offer t o sell t h e m e x a c t l y w h a t t h e y wanted. Most of the time, he didn't even have what h e ' d just s o l d — h e ' d have to go out and buy it himself in order to turn a r o u n d a n d deliver it to the p e o p l e w h o ' d just b o u g h t i t f r o m h i m . H e simply l o v e d t h e thrill o f persuading people.

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W h e n I a s k e d h i m w h a t he t h o u g h t his secret was, he said: "Excitement and passion are contagious. W h e n you g e t truly passionate a b o u t w h a t y o u w a n t t o d o , o t h e r s will f i n d t h e m s e l v e s d r a w n t o y o u . "

7. Charge What You Are Truly Worth S o m e p e o p l e are frightened to charge w h a t they are really w o r t h b e c a u s e they

Life is so simple,

fear they will lose their clients. B u t in

really.

my o w n experience, every time I have

through what people

raised m y fees I've f o u n d m y s e l f attract-

want, invite them to

i n g m o r e a n d better clients a n d losing

get it from you, and

Think

only those p e o p l e I wasn't particularly

when they show up,

e n j o y i n g w o r k i n g w i t h anyway.

bill 'em!

Here's a simple formula for working

—Stuart Wilde

out what your time is worth, no matter h o w m u c h o r little y o u m a y e a r n :

1. Write d o w n the a m o u n t of m o n e y y o u expect to e a r n this year. 2 . Erase o r cross o u t t h e last t h r e e n u m b e r s . 3. Divide by two. This is w h a t an h o u r of y o u r time is worth, based on an average working week. Example: A n n u a l e a r n i n g s = $30,000. L e s s last t h r e e n u m b e r s = $30. D i v i d e d by two = $ 1 5 . Y o u r h o u r l y "wage" is $15.

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Just f o r today, i m a g i n e y o u r h o u r l y w a g e has d o u b l e d . If y o u were b e i n g p a i d twice as m u c h p e r h o u r for w h a t y o u d o , w h a t w o u l d y o u d o differently?

If you want to charge what you're truly worth, start doing it differently today!

6*. Regularly Practice the C h a n g e Y o u r L i f e i n S e v e n D a y s Techniques For most people, opportunities to b e c o m e wealthier pres e n t t h e m s e l v e s e v e r y day. B y p r a c t i c i n g t h e t e c h n i q u e s , y o u are conditioning yourself to focus on wealth. Very few multimillionaires g e t to be rich by accident. Financial success is simply a m a t t e r of m a i n t a i n i n g y o u r f o c u s on wealth a n d consistently practicing the actions that lead to abundance. Take some time each day to walk a r o u n d as if y o u already have everything y o u want. C r e a t e a sensory-rich e x p e r i e n c e of what y o u want so that your u n c o n s c i o u s m i n d gets a clear idea. A s k yourself e m p o w e r i n g questions. Create

a wealth

scrapbook and

imagine what it

w o u l d b e l i k e l i v i n g t h e life o f y o u r d r e a m s . S e e w h a t y o u ' l l s e e , h e a r , a n d f e e l . D o i t a s o f t e n a s y o u c a n e v e r y day. Y o u m a y n o t g e t instant results, b u t y o u will attract t o yourself in one way or another whatever you think about most.

U s e y o u r favorite t e c h n i q u e s daily to c o n d i t i o n

yourself for success!

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9. Celebrate Your Life, Starting Today! O n e of the single most important things y o u can do to c e m e n t your wealth con-

Today's gratitude

sciousness

^ y tomorrow's

is

to

make

a

practice

of

r e f l e c t i n g o n all t h e g o o d t h i n g s i n y o u r

U

S

happiness

life a s y o u d r i f t o f f t o s l e e p e a c h n i g h t .

-Michael McMillian

A s y o u say t h a n k y o u t o life, G o d , t h e universe, or whatever y o u feel most c o m fortable with a n d c o n n e c t e d to, y o u are cultivating what A m e r i c a n s call "an attitude of gratitude." An attitude of gratitude is the exact opposite of a p o v e r t y c o n s c i o u s n e s s . W h e n y o u start t o r e g u l a r l y t h i n k o f all t h e g o o d things y o u h a v e a n d o f h o w fortunate y o u are to have them, you are sending a strong message of abundance

to your

unconscious,

w h i c h will

create

a

steady flow of financial a b u n d a n c e .

10. Keep Going T h e r e i s a s t o r y t h a t i n a n c i e n t T i b e t , all t h e m o n k s w e r e g a t h e r e d t o g e t h e r o n c e every h u n d r e d years a n d given a n opportunity for guaranteed e n l i g h t e n m e n t — a l l they h a d t o d o was walk t h r o u g h t h e R o o m o f a T h o u s a n d D e m o n s a n d c o m e o u t alive. T h e R o o m o f a T h o u s a n d D e m o n s was a pitch-black r o o m filled with a t h o u s a n d d e m o n s w h o w o u l d appear to the m o n k s in the guise of their biggest a n d worst fears: spiders, snakes, s h e e r p r e c i p i c e s — w h a t e v e r t h e y s e n s e d w o u l d fill t h e m o n k s ' h e a r t s w i t h t e r r o r . T h e only rules w e r e that o n c e the m o n k s entered, n o o n e

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could c o m e in and rescue them, a n d it Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never,

never—in

d a r e d to face their fears in pursuit of

nothing, great or

happiness, success, a n d e n l i g h t e n m e n t ,

small, large or

there was o n e crucial p i e c e of advice:

petty—never give

in,

except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming

was impossible to leave by the d o o r they w e n t in. F o r those few brave souls w h o

might

of the enemy. —Sir Winston Churchill

No matter what you think you see, hear, think, or feel, keep your feet moving. If you keep your feet moving, you will eventually get to where it is you want to go! Perhaps

my favorite

quote

on

the

p o w e r o f persistence c o m e s f r o m President Calvin Coolidge:

N o t h i n g i n t h e w o r l d c a n t a k e t h e p l a c e o f persist e n c e . T a l e n t will n o t ; n o t h i n g i s m o r e c o m m o n t h a n u n s u c c e s s f u l m e n w i t h t a l e n t . G e n i u s will n o t ; u n r e w a r d e d g e n i u s is almost a p r o v e r b . E d u c a t i o n will n o t ; t h e w o r l d i s full o f e d u c a t e d d e r e l i c t s . P e r sistence a n d d e t e r m i n a t i o n a l o n e are o m n i p o t e n t .

IN C O N C L U S I O N Finally, I w a n t y o u to r e m e m b e r t h a t r e a l w e a l t h is n o t m e a s u r e d by m o n e y a l o n e . Start today. C r e a t e a p l a n for f i n a n c i a l a b u n d a n c e a n d start m o v i n g f o r w a r d . M a k e t h e

204

Change


c h a n g e s y o u n e e d t o m a k e , b o t h a t the level o f y o u r consciousness a n d in action. After y o u have b e g u n to enjoy m o r e o f the success that y o u desire, y o u will l o o k b a c k a n d be thankful that you did! Until tomorrow, Paul

P.S.

McKenna

Tomorrow is the last day of your seven-day program,

and

we'll be dealing with an appropriate topic as this program draws to a close—the secrets of living happily ever after. . . .

205

DAY

7

HAPPILY EVER AFTER Live the secrets of lifelong happiness—now

PAUL

MCKENNA

Before you begin today: • Listen to the hypnotic trance (www.paulmckenna.com/trance). • Take a few minutes to go through the "Reprogramming Your Self-Image" exercise on p a g e 3 5 . • Review your purpose, values, and big dream from day four. • Fire your wealth anchor and do a one-minute wealth visualization: Imagine you already have all the g o o d feelings you know that being wealthy will bring you. All the happiness, all the confidence, and all the love you could ever hope for are there inside you. . . . Now imagine yourself going through your day. How do you treat people? How do they treat you? What are you especially proud of about today? What do you love doing? What do you do exceptionally well? What value have you added today? How could you add even more? Who else could you impact with your work? How about with your life?

208

^*^ne day, a wealthy businessman hired a him out to sea for a day of relaxation.

fishing

boat to take

The sun was shining, and

the wealthy man took a liking to the happy young fisherman who guided the fishing boat through the waters of the harbor. "Young man, " said the wealthy businessman,

"I can teach you

the secrets of success, if you '11 only listen carefully." "Okay," said morning's

the young fisherman,

smiling as

he cleaned

the

catch.

Although he was a bit taken aback by the young man's casual manner,

the businessman began his lesson.

"First off, double your prices.

You run a good, clean boat and

you know where the fish are plentiful." "Why would I want to do that?" replied the young fisherman, distracted by watching a small crab playing in the waves by the shore.

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PAUL McKENNA

The businessman could feel his irritation rising as he replied, "Because then you will be able to buy a second boat, and a third, and you will be able to take on more tourists and catch more fish. If you work hard, you will earn enough to buy a whole fleet of boats." "But why would I want to do that?" the young fisherman asked as he rolled over onto his back to soak up the last gentle rays of the afternoon By now,

sun. the businessman was furious.

"Because then you will

become rich, and you can hire people to do your work for you while you spend your days "Ah," the young

fishing

fisherman

and relaxing in the sun!" said,

wonderful!"

210

nodding sagely.

"That sounds

T W O KINDS O F H A P P I N E S S I believe that there are two kinds of happiness in the world. T h e o n e most of us think of is simply feeling wonderful in your body. T h e other, m o r e subtle f o r m of happ i n e s s is a state of b e i n g in p e r f e c t h a r m o n y with life a n d the universe.

This is

t h e state

that psychologists call

"flow," m u s i c i a n s call "the g r o o v e , " a n d a t h l e t e s call " t h e z o n e . " T o d a y y o u will b e l e a r n i n g h o w t o take responsibility f o r y o u r o w n h a p p i n e s s , a n d t h e secrets o f b r i n g i n g m o r e o f b o t h k i n d s o f h a p p i n e s s i n t o y o u r life v i r t u a l l y on demand. In the West, o u r culture emphasizes the pursuit of happiness t h r o u g h exter-

/ have come to

nal means. Most people would complete

understand that life

t h e s e n t e n c e "I'll be h a p p y w h e n

is best to be lived

"

with e x t e r n a l s like " W h e n I've m a d e a

and not to be

million dollars," " W h e n I'm married to

conceptualized.

I am

the person of my dreams," " W h e n I find

happy because I am

a j o b . " We are told f r o m a very early a g e

growing daily and I

t h a t t h e s e a r e t h e t h i n g s t h a t will m a k e

am honestly not

us happy, b u t a quick glance at the news

knowing where the

e a c h day reveals clearly that h a v i n g the

limit lies.

g o o d t h i n g s i n life c a n o n l y b e p a r t o f

—Bruce Lee

t h e story. In t h e East, traditional c u l t u r e e m phasizes a c c e p t a n c e of the c o n d i t i o n s of existence, positing the idea that happiness is f o u n d within. My own

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PAUL

McKENNA

e x p e r i e n c e suggests that while the eastern ideal of happiness c o m i n g f r o m within is m o r e accurate, h a v i n g g r o w n u p i n t h e W e s t I f i n d it's a l o t e a s i e r t o b e h a p p y w h e n y o u r life d o e s n ' t s u c k . P e r s o n a l l y , I b e l i e v e it's g o o d t o have a balance.

Here is today's key lesson: Happiness is not a result—it's a state of mind and body.

T h e g o o d n e w s i s that y o u a l r e a d y k n o w h o w easy i t i s t o c r e a t e states, a n d y o u c a n l e a r n t o e x p e r i e n c e t h a t state w e call h a p p i n e s s m u c h m o r e often t h a n y o u d o right now. T h i n k a little m o r e d e e p l y n o w — w h a t d o e s h a p p i n e s s feel like in y o u r body? For

some,

it's

a warm,

peaceful,

glowing

feeling.

O t h e r p e o p l e describe it as a kind of delightful sense of i n n e r satisfaction. W h i l e I d o n ' t k n o w precisely w h a t h a p piness feels like for y o u , I do k n o w that if y o u b e g a n to have the feeling that y o u call happiness in y o u r b o d y right now, y o u c o u l d identify it in an instant.

W H E N IS IT N O T O K A Y TO BE H A P P Y ? M a n y p e o p l e p u t obstacles in the way of feeling happiness. W h i l e s o m e p e o p l e a r e still w a i t i n g f o r t h i n g s o u t s i d e them to m a k e t h e m happy, others are c o n c e r n e d about feeling happiness inappropriately.

212

Change


I was l e a d i n g a s e m i n a r on c r e a t i n g h a p p i n e s s w h e n a participant s t o o d up with tears in his eyes. " M y d a u g h t e r j u s t d i e d , " t h e m a n s a i d . " A r e y o u sayi n g I'm s u p p o s e d to be h a p p y a b o u t that?" F i r s t I s a i d : "It's o n l y r i g h t , o n l y n a t u r a l , t h a t y o u a r e sad

about

the

death

of your

daughter. You

feel

sad

because she meant so m u c h to you, but would she want y o u t o f e e l s a d f o r e v e r ? " A s h e t h o u g h t a b o u t it, I a s k e d h i m t o r e f l e c t o n all t h e g o o d t i m e s h e ' d h a d w i t h h i s d a u g h t e r — a l l t h e l o v e t h a t h e ' d s h a r e d w i t h h e r a n d all the

experiences

they h a d

enjoyed

together.

When

I

c o u l d see that he was really c o n n e c t e d to his e x p e r i e n c e , I asked h i m h o w he t h o u g h t she w o u l d want h i m to feel. He paused for a m o m e n t , then a smile b e g a n to shine across his f a c e b e n e a t h t h e tears. W h e n h e finally s p o k e , w e c o u l d all h e a r t h e l o v e i n h i s h e a r t a s h e s a i d s i m p l y , "She would've wanted me to be happy." W e all h a v e o u r o w n rules f o r w h e n h a p p i n e s s i s a n i n a p p r o p r i a t e r e s p o n s e to w h a t is g o i n g on a r o u n d us. T h e important thing to r e m e m b e r is that happiness is first a n d f o r e m o s t a c h o i c e . A s A b r a h a m L i n c o l n o n c e said: " M o s t p e o p l e a r e a b o u t a s h a p p y a s t h e y m a k e u p their minds to be."

THE S C I E N C E O F H A P P I N E S S A few years a g o I h e a r d a b o u t a m e d i c a l d o c t o r in N e w York w h o h e l p e d d r u g addicts o v e r c o m e their addictions

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PAUL

MCKENNA

by putting t h e m into a trance a n d teaching their bodies to create the response to the drug. O n c e they learned the t e c h n i q u e , they w e r e a b l e t o g e t h i g h naturally. S i n c e they n o w realized it was their b o d y that was m a k i n g t h e m feel so g o o d a n d n o t the drugs, it b e c a m e progressively easier for d i e m to w e a n themselves off their c h e m i c a l d e p e n d e n c y . Here's how it works. A n y d r u g you've ever taken (and that includes caffeine, nicotine, and cocaine)

created a specific n e u r o c h e m i c a l

response in y o u r body. This response is the source of the h i g h . I n o t h e r w o r d s , it's n o t w h a t t h e d r u g d o e s t h a t makes y o u feel a particular w a y — i t ' s what your b o d y does i n response t o t h e d r u g t h a t g i v e s y o u t h e f e e l i n g . W h i l e I was very i m p r e s s e d with the r e s e a r c h b e h i n d the doctor's work, w h a t particularly interested me was t h e i d e a o f c r e a t i n g h a p p i n e s s o n d e m a n d — t h a t is, t h e process of teaching the m i n d to get the b o d y to create the chemicals inside that lead to g o o d feelings where and when we want them. For decades, researchers h a d b e e n trying to find o u t w h a t it was

that allowed the

d r u g o p i u m t o h a v e its

e u p h o r i c e f f e c t s . W h e n Dr. C a n d a c e P e r t w a s still o n l y a graduate student, she discovered that opiate receptors are n o t j u s t in the brain b u t in every single cell in the body. She f o u n d these receptors were particularly in tune with

one

special

kind

of chemical

messenger,

called

endogenous morphine, or more commonly endorphin. Endorphins are your body's natural opiates, the neurotransmitters that control pain a n d create pleasure. T h e r e are h a p p y chemicals inside you!

214


Y o u have a natural e n d o r p h i n release w h e n y o u do physical exercise, m a k e love, l a u g h a lot, or relax deeply. Y o u k n o w h o w i t f e e l s o n a c o l d w i n t e r ' s d a y t o sli-i-i-ide into a h o t bath a n d get that feeling of gentle warmth? Or when you

eat y o u r favorite

food,

how good

i t feels?

That's the feeling of e n d o r p h i n s at play in y o u r body. But e n d o r p h i n s are m o r e than just the source of g o o d feelings in your body. Because e n d o r p h i n s are neurotransmitters, they create m o r e b o n d i n g in the brain, so every time y o u e x p e r i e n c e an e n d o r p h i n release, it actually m a k e s y o u m o r e i n t e l l i g e n t . A n d e v e r y c e l l i n y o u r b o d y has receptors for e n d o r p h i n s . H o w g r e a t a d e s i g n feature is that? N o t o n l y c a n every cell in o u r b o d y e x p e r i e n c e happiness, but the m o r e often we choose to be happy, the m o r e intelligent we b e c o m e ! T h e way that y o u r brain a n d b o d y c o m m u n i c a t e to let y o u k n o w t h a t it's t i m e t o f e e l g o o d i s c e l l t o c e l l . A c h e m ical m e s s a g e trips off a t o n e cell, takes o n t h e s h a p e f o r t h e e n d o r p h i n , a n d sets u p a v i b r a t i o n , a n d t h e c e l l s n e x t door go, "Oooh—there's something cooool going on!" a n d s t a r t r e s o n a t i n g i n t h e s a m e way. T h e n t h e m e s s a g e spreads f r o m cell to cell, like a wave of pleasure. Now, w h e n y o u e x p e r i e n c e a wave of pleasure, y o u feel so g o o d b e c a u s e every cell i n y o u r b o d y i s s h a r i n g that state. W h e n I h e a r d a b o u t the d o c t o r w h o was h e l p i n g d r u g addicts to o v e r c o m e their addiction by getting naturally h i g h u s i n g hypnosis, I started e x p e r i m e n t i n g to see if I c o u l d get p e o p l e to have e n d o r p h i n releases using imagination

exercises.

Not

only were

many of them

able

instantly to e x p e r i e n c e those g r e a t feelings, b u t also it

215

PAUL

McKENNA

was w i t h o u t any f o r m a l hypnotic i n d u c t i o n , j u s t using a simple imagination technique. P e o p l e I tried it with s u d d e n l y f o u n d they felt fantastic! I w o u l d s i m p l y a s k t h e m t o r e m e m b e r t i m e s i n t h e past w h e n their e n d o r p h i n s were flowing, t h e n to turn up the brightness and color of those happy memories and keep going through

t h e m again and again until

s o m e p e o p l e were smiling with delight a n d then nearly fell off their chairs l a u g h i n g . Since then I have taught thousands of people h o w to give themselves an instant e n d o r p h i n release. Recently a psychiatrist wrote t o m e a n d e x p l a i n e d h o w h e ' d b e e n u s i n g t h e t e c h n i q u e w i t h his patients w h o suffered f r o m depression and how m u c h it had helped them. Let's get h a p p y right now. . . .

Instant Endorphin Release 1. R e m e m b e r a time when you felt totally happy and at p e a c e . Return fully to that time now, seeing w h a t you saw, hearing what you heard, and feeling how g o o d you felt. (If you can't r e m e m b e r a specific time, just imagine how much better your life would be

if you were totally happy and

peaceful

right

now—if you had all the p e a c e , love, and contentment you could ever want.) 2. Now make the colors brighter and richer, the sounds louder, and allow your feelings of happiness to intensify.

216

Change

3. Notice

where


that

feeling

of

happiness

is

strongest in your body. Give this feeling of happiness a color, and move that color up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes. Double the brightness. Double it again! 4. You can visualize the endorphins like little dolphins at play in your bloodstream, happily swimming from cell to cell. Or feel the flow of endorphins like a river of golden honey throughout your body. 5. Repeat steps 2-4 at least five more times. Vividly imagine in detail that event where you are happy, again and again. You can use the same happy experience or add in new ones each time.

W h e n I first d i s c o v e r e d t h i s t e c h n i q u e ,

I thought,

" F a n t a s t i c — I ' l l j u s t f e e l g r e a t all t h e t i m e ! " H o w e v e r , a s with a n y e m o t i o n a l state, it is i m p o r t a n t to h a v e a s e n s e of context. W h e n you're crossing the road, it is not the wisest i d e a t o b e b u z z e d o u t o f y o u r m i n d o n e n d o r p h i n s . W h e n y o u ' r e d r i v i n g , y o u w a n t t o h a v e y o u r wits a b o u t y o u w h i l e n e g o t i a t i n g t h e traffic. H o w e v e r , w h e n e v e r it's a p p r o p r i a t e t o f e e l w o n d e r f u l , w h y n o t m a k e u s e o f this g r e a t n a t u r a l t e c h n i q u e ?

DESIGNER HAPPINESS Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Mee-hi Chik-sent-meehi) f r o m the University o f C h i c a g o has s p e n t m o r e t h a n

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MCKENNA

thirty years s t u d y i n g h a p p i n e s s . B e c a u s e h e c o u l d n ' t g e t f u n d i n g t o r e s e a r c h h a p p i n e s s d i r e c t l y (it w a s n ' t c o n s i d e r e d a sufficiendy serious subject for scientific study), h i s s t u d i e s f o c u s o n w h a t h e calls " o p t i m a l e x p e r i e n c e s , " o r "flow." As a result of his research, he has identified e i g h t characteristics that are invariably present d u r i n g optimal e x p e r i e n c e — t h a t is, t h e e x p e r i e n c e o f h a p p i n e s s , e n j o y ment, a n d fulfillment in the m o m e n t of d o i n g whatever it is y o u are doing. E a c h of the characteristics serves as a potential happiness t r i g g e r — a way of t u r n i n g an ordinary situation into an optimal, enjoyable flow experience. As y o u read t h e m now, y o u may well have ideas a b o u t w h e r e y o u can create m o r e o p p o r t u n i t i e s f o r t h e m i n y o u r life a n d b e g i n t o feel t h e flow state start h a p p e n i n g . T h e eight happiness triggers are:

1. Clear Goals H a v i n g a c l e a r g o a l , p u r p o s e , or i n t e n t i o n acts as a sort of o r g a n i z i n g principle for o u r attention, filtering o u r exp e r i e n c e d o w n f r o m a w o r l d of infinite possibilities to a selective collection of e x p e r i e n c e s that allows us to focus, feel in control, m a k e sense of w h a t is h a p p e n i n g to us, a n d r e s p o n d deliberately. T h e r e f o r e , t h e s i m p l e s t way t o t r a n s f o r m a n y task i n t o a potential flow e x p e r i e n c e is to set ourselves an intent i o n , p u r p o s e , o r g o a l i n r e l a t i o n t o t h a t task. In cases w h e r e the task is m u n d a n e , repetitive, or sim-

218

Change


ply n o t interesting to us,

our intention

need not be

d i r e c d y r e l a t e d t o t h e a c t u a l task. F o r i n s t a n c e , living t h e i n t e n t i o n of b e i n g fully p r e s e n t c a n turn a b o r i n g drive into a Z e n meditation; living the intention of p e r f o r m i n g w i t h e n e r g y , e n t h u s i a s m , a n d a s i f it's t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t thing in the world can turn washing the dishes into a highly e n j o y a b l e activity.

2. Immediate Feedback Do you r e m e m b e r as a child playing the warmer/colder game? T h e closer you got to your goal, the h i d d e n object y o u w e r e s e e k i n g , t h e w a r m e r y o u w e r e ; t h e f a r t h e r away, the colder. T h e r e a s o n this g a m e i s s o p o p u l a r cross-culturally is

that t h e h u m a n brain is d e s i g n e d as a cybernetic

m e c h a n i s m — t h a t is, i t t h r i v e s o n h a v i n g a c l e a r g o a l a n d m a k i n g constant adjustments in pursuit of that goal, j u s t like a heat-seeking missile. However, in o r d e r for o u r b r a i n t o f u n c t i o n a t its f u l l c a p a c i t y , w e m u s t g i v e i t c o n tinual f e e d b a c k a s t o w h e t h e r w e are o n track.

3. Ability to Concentrate on the Task at Hand Geniuses are often characterized as b e i n g like plate spinn e r s i n a c i r c u s , a b l e t o k e e p m a n y d i f f e r e n t tasks g o i n g a t a n y o n e t i m e . A n d yet o n e trait t h a t consistently c o m e s up in t h e r e s e a r c h i n t o creativity a n d flow is that b o t h are m o s t likely to o c c u r w h e n y o u are focused on only o n e t h i n g at a time. In fact, w h e n asked h o w he c a m e up with

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PAUL

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t h e t h e o r y o f gravity, S i r I s a a c N e w t o n i s r e p u t e d t o h a v e said, ' Y o u w o u l d have c o m e u p with i t t o o i f y o u h a d s p e n t all y o u r t i m e t h i n k i n g o f n o t h i n g e l s e ! "

4. The Possibility of Successful Completion Confidence i s preparation m a c t w n

-

O n e of the key factors in successful recovery _

f r o m

n

y

i

l

m

e

s

s

i g

h

o

p

e

t

n

e

b

e

B

e

f

t

h

a

t

things c a n g e t better, g i v e n time. Similarly, if w e

—Ron Howard

a

want t o turn a n ordinary experience into a

£j

Q W

e

x

p

e

r

i

e

n

c

e

j

w e

m

U

s t generate feelings

o f h o p e o r p o s s i b i l i t y t h a t w e will b e a b l e t o s u c c e s s f u l l y c o m p l e t e t h e p r o j e c t o r task a t h a n d . O u r probability of success goes up anytime we c h o o s e attitudes a n d actions that are within o u r c o n t r o l a n d also increase the likelihood of getting what we want either n o w or in the future. T h i n g s like p r e p a r a t i o n , daily action, a n d inviting others to participate in o u r goals a n d dreams n o t o n l y m a k e o u r s u c c e s s m o r e l i k e l y i n reality, t h e y m a k e it m o r e believable in o u r minds a n d hearts, increasi n g o u r will t o s u c c e e d b y m a k i n g t h e p a t h t o s u c c e s s m o r e and more apparent.

5. Total Involvement R o c k c l i m b i n g i s s o m e t h i n g t h a t always p u z z l e d m e . W h y w o u l d a n y o n e w a n t t o d o that? W h y w o u l d a n y o n e aspire t o t h e s a m e skill l e v e l t h a t a s m a l l l i z a r d d e m o n s t r a t e s ? T h e r e d o e s n ' t a p p e a r t o b e a n y g a i n i n it. E v e n m o r e

220

Change


c o n f u s i n g , c l i m b s a r e n ' t r a t e d by y o u r ability to g e t to t h e top, but rather by the route y o u c h o o s e to take. Fellow climbers are far m o r e i m p r e s s e d b y a n interesting j o u r ney than by reaching the destination. A n d that's part o f the appeal: c l i m b i n g for climbing's sake. M a n y climbers r e p o r t that w h e n they've r e a c h e d the t o p of a rock, after the relief has subsided, there's a desire to continue climbing. O n e c l i m b i n g instructor I k n e w c r e a t e d an interesti n g " e n t r a n c e e x a m " f o r his a d v a n c e d c l i m b i n g c o u r s e . H e a s s i g n e d all t h e p o t e n t i a l s t u d e n t s a n e x t r e m e l y difficult climb. T h e instructor told the aspiring students that h e w o u l d m a k e his d e c i s i o n w h e n they r e a c h e d the t o p , then secreted himself b e h i n d a rock partway up at what is k n o w n as a false s u m m i t — s o m e t h i n g that a p p e a r s to be t h e t o p o f t h e m o u n t a i n b u t isn't. When

the

students

reached

the

false

summit,

he

w o u l d watch their faces as they realized that rather than b e i n g d o n e , t h e y w e r e still o n l y p a r t w a y t o t h e t o p . T h o s e w h o a p p e a r e d disappointed were politely refused entry to the a d v a n c e d g r o u p , b u t those w h o s e eyes w i d e n e d in excitement at the prospect of m o r e climbing ahead were w e l c o m e d with o p e n arms. A c c o r d i n g to Csikszentmihalyi, most optimal experie n c e i s t h e result o f this k i n d o f t e l e o l o g i c a l a c t i v i t y — t h a t is, a c t i v i t y t h a t i s i n t r i n s i c a l l y s a t i s f y i n g a s o p p o s e d t o goal-oriented. W h e n we do things not because we believe t h e y will n e c e s s a r i l y m a k e u s l o o k g o o d o r m a k e u s m o n e y b u t for the sheer love of d o i n g the thing, we increase the l i k e l i h o o d o f e x p e r i e n c i n g flow.

221

I PAUL

McKENNA

6. Loss of Self-Consciousness O n e of the things that p e o p l e often report after b e i n g h y p n o t i z e d at my shows is that it allows t h e m , s o m e t i m e s f o r t h e first t i m e i n t h e i r a d u l t l i v e s , t o f e e l t o t a l l y u n s e l f c o n s c i o u s . W h i l e w e all l i v e i n this s t a t e a s s m a l l c h i l d r e n , b y t h e t i m e w e ' r e a b o u t five w e h a v e a l r e a d y b e g u n t o j u d g e ourselves t h r o u g h the eyes o f the p e o p l e a r o u n d us. W h e n we are able to b e c o m e c o m p l e t e l y a b s o r b e d in a flow e x p e r i e n c e , w e r e t u r n t o that p l e a s a n t state i n w h i c h w h a t w e are d o i n g a n d e x p e r i e n c i n g b e c o m e s far m o r e interesting than what other people might be thinking.

7. A Sense of Control A s t u d y r e p o r t e d i n t h e New York Times p o i n t e d o u t t h e s i g n i f i c a n c e o f a s e n s e o f c o n t r o l i n o u r lives:

T h e f e e l i n g o f b e i n g i n c o n t r o l , o f h a v i n g a say i n w h a t h a p p e n s i n o n e ' s life, has f a r - r e a c h i n g c o n sequences

for

physical

and

mental

health. . . .

Increasing the sense of control a m o n g m e n and w o m e n living i n convalescent h o m e s m a d e t h e m happier, most

increased

their

alertness

dramatically—lowered

and—perhaps

their mortality rate,

over a p e r i o d of 18 m o n t h s , by 50 percent.

T h e increased control came from simple such

as

allowing

the

convalescent-home

222

changes,

residents

to

Change


d e c i d e what they w o u l d have for meals, w h e n the p h o n e would ring in their rooms, and h o w the furniture would be arranged. By taking control over even the simplest elements of o u r e n v i r o n m e n t ( w h e r e w e are sitting, h o w things are arranged on o u r desk, or even what we are l o o k i n g at when we daydream), we increase the likelihood of exper i e n c i n g h a p p i n e s s i n o u r e v e r y d a y lives.

8. Time Distortion (i.e., minutes becoming hours and/or hours feeling like minutes) Have you noticed w h e n you are d o i n g s o m e things time seems to m o v e really

Put your hand on a

slowly o r really quickly? H e r e are s o m e

hot stove for a

o f m y favorite t i m e - d i s t o r t i n g activities:

minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with

S p o r t s t h a t test y o u r ability.

a pretty girl for an

Reading an illuminating book.

hour, and it seems

W h e n drawing, correctiy portray-

like a minute.

ing perspective, light, a n d shade.

T h a t ' s relativity.

Driving on difficult terrain. Dancing,

—Albert Einstein

hearing the beat and

melody of a song, and m o v i n g in a n e x p r e s s i v e w a y t o it. Thinking,

reasoning

through

the

strands

of a

problem, and arranging them in consciousness. N o t i c i n g t h e s u b t l e d i f f e r e n c e s i n taste o f e x o t i c foods.

223

PAUL

McKENNA

BALANCING CHALLENGE AND MASTERY W h i l e e a c h o n e of these eight characteristics is important, perhaps the most useful one, if we want to design o u r o w n o p t i m a l e x p e r i e n c e s , is a n i n t h metacharacteristic:

We tend to experience flow when there is a balance between our perception of the challenge we are facing and our perception of our ability to meet that challenge. Fortunately, m o s t of us have at least Enjoyment appears

occasionally e x p e r i e n c e d the calm, fo-

a l the boundary

cused energy that c o m e s with perform-

between boredom

m

and anxiety, when

t

the challenges are

^

m

n

e

e

f j

o

w

z

o

n

e

w

h e n w e feel u p t o

challenges we are faced with.

jjf

just balanced with

C j

i

a t

b

t e

e

s

t

)

j

s

a

constant shuttle

between mastery and challenge, a con-

the person s capacity i o a c t

g

'

t i n u a l p r o c e s s of s t r e t c h i n g a n d c o n s o l idating our gains a n d learning.

Mihaly

§ J

Q

h

o

w

d

0

w e design a n d adjust o u r

e x p e r i e n c e to ensure we have the highest possible c h a n c e o f b o t h e n j o y i n g a n

activity a n d p e r f o r m i n g a t o u r best? T h e k e y i s i n t h e w o r d perception—that is, b y a d j u s t i n g our perceptions

(of the challenges we face a n d of our

ability t o m e e t t h o s e c h a l l e n g e s ) , w e c a n literally re-create our experience for optimal performance.

224


T R A N S F O R M I N G F E A R INTO F L O W T h i n k o f a s i t u a t i o n , p r o j e c t , o r activity that totally freaks y o u o u t — t h a t y o u feel

Bonus Tip

y o u s h o u l d o r m u s t o r even w a n t t o par-

It

ticipate in but is so far o u t of your league

that not all balance

t h a t y o u k n o w y o u ' r e b o u n d t o fail. T h i s

is created equally.

c a n b e a b u s i n e s s activity ( q u a d r u p l i n g

Research

y o u r sales v o l u m e i n t h e n e x t m o n t h ) o r

that people are most

a personal one

likely to describe

(asking the person of

your dreams out on a date). H e r e are two simple strategies that

would appear

shows

their

experience

and

performance

will h e l p y o u t u r n y o u r f e e l i n g s o f p a n i c

levels as

o r o v e r w h e l m i n t o t h e f o c u s o f flow.

when both the challenge

optimal

and

skill

are balanced at a

Lowering Your Sights

high

level (e.g.,

W h i l e c o n v e n t i o n a l w i s d o m tells u s t o

brain

surgery)

s h o o t f o r t h e stars, h a p p i n e s s r e s e a r c h

at a low level (e.g.,

points o u t that l o w e r i n g y o u r sights a n d

learning to

focusing on a target that y o u k n o w y o u

chopsticks).

use

can hit c a n quickly turn e v e n the m o s t daunting challenge into a fun adventure. W h e n an N L P training t e a m w e n t t o t r a n s f o r m the U.S. A r m y pistols h o o t i n g p r o g r a m , o n e of the first things they did was cut t h e d i s t a n c e t o t h e t a r g e t i n half. A s p e o p l e ' s c o n f i d e n c e a n d skill i n c r e a s e d , t h e t a r g e t s w e r e g r a d u a l l y r e t u r n e d t o t h e o r i g i n a l d i s t a n c e . T h e r e s u l t — a vastly i n c r e a s e d s u c c e s s r a t e i n less t h a n h a l f t h e o r i g i n a l t r a i n i n g t i m e .

225

than

PAUL

EXAMPLE:

"I

QUADRUPLING

lower

my sights

McKENNA

MY SALES VOLUME

and

set myself a

smaller

target—

d o u b l i n g m y s a l e s v o l u m e . N o , still t o o scary. W h a t i f I try t o increase my v o l u m e by o n e in the n e x t week? D o e s n ' t feel w i t h i n m y c o n t r o l . I k n o w — I ' l l m a k e t w e n t y m o r e calls a d a y t h a n I d i d last m o n t h ! T h a t p u t s m e f i r m l y i n t o f l o w . "

Focus on Past Success I f y o u ' v e g o t t e n this far i n life, c h a n c e s are y o u ' v e d o n e m o r e t h a n a f e w things right. W h e n y o u start t o f o c u s o n w h a t y o u d o that's w o r k i n g , y o u r p e r c e p t i o n o f y o u r ability i n c r e a s e s , a n d a l o n g w i t h i t y o u i n c r e a s e t h e p o s sibility o f f l o w .

EXAMPLE: ASKING DREAM LOVER O U T ON A DATE

" H m m m . . . I've

actually dated before.

And

some

of

t h e m have even g o n e well! A n d r e m e m b e r that t i m e that said yes, w h i c h really s u r p r i s e d m e ? A n d that o t h e r t i m e ? A n d t h a t o t h e r t i m e ? O k a y , m y h e a r t ' s still pumping,

but

it's

turned

into

excitement—I'm

p u m p e d up b u t it feels like a positive c h a l l e n g e . "

ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT CAN I DO NOW?"

226

still


BACKGROUND HAPPINESS S o m e psychologists believe in what they c a l l " b a c k g r o u n d stress." In o t h e r w o r d s ,

The secret of being

e v e n t h o u g h s o m e o n e m i g h t be d o i n g

happy i s not doing

s o m e t h i n g e n j o y a b l e , t h e r e ' s still h i d d e n

what one likes, but

worry lurking somewhere back there.

liking what one does.

B u t r a t h e r t h a n b a c k g r o u n d stress, I

—J- M. Barrie

t h i n k it's a m u c h b e t t e r i d e a t o h a v e background happiness:

a

k i n d o f all-

p e r v a d i n g f e e l i n g i n t h e b a c k o f y o u r m i n d that life i s g o o d , that your unconscious does everything it can to h e l p y o u a n d all p r o b l e m s c a n b e r e s o l v e d i n a h e a l t h y , l i f e - e n h a n c i n g way. C a n y o u l e a r n h o w t o d o it? A b s o l u t e l y . T h e r e a r e t h o u sands a n d thousands of p e o p l e walking a r o u n d experienci n g b a c k g r o u n d h a p p i n e s s a n d f l o w i n all a r e a s o f t h e i r lives, m u c h t o t h e a n n o y a n c e o f p s y c h o l o g i s t s a n d t h e r a pists w h o c o n t i n u e t o " p r o v e " t h e i m p o s s i b i l i t y o f d o i n g it. I n t h e past, m a n y p e o p l e have w o r k e d h a r d t o create f l o w i n t h e i r lives. H o w e v e r , t h e r e i s a n e a s y w a y t o d o it. W h e n e v e r y o u ' v e e x p e r i e n c e d flow i n the past, y o u r unconscious m i n d has m a d e a r e c o r d of the psychological a n d physiological aspects of that optimal e x p e r i e n c e . T h i s is b e c a u s e flow is a n e u r o p h y s i o l o g i c a l state:

in

o t h e r words, it is a set of electrical impulses in y o u r brain a n d c h e m i c a l c h a n g e s i n y o u r body. Y o u r m i n d a n d b o d y have a multisensory r e c o r d i n g of exactly h o w y o u m a k e flow h a p p e n , o f h o w y o u m a k e that state.

227

PAUL

McKENNA

So what we're going to do is get your unconscious m i n d t o g o o n a s e a r c h a n d f i n d all t h e t i m e s i n t h e p a s t w h e n you've experienced flow, then make a record of the state s o t h a t y o u c a n b e g i n t o t r i g g e r i t f o r y o u r s e l f m o r e and more. After a while almost anything y o u do

can b e c o m e

effortless a n d j o y o u s . Y o u ' l l b e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g a n d y o u w o n ' t k n o w why y o u feel so g o o d , or why y o u are so harm o n i o u s l y i n v o l v e d with w h a t y o u a r e d o i n g , a n d i t will happen more and more. O n e of the best ways to reaccess flow is by r e m e m b e r i n g a time w h e n y o u were in the zone, in flow. Rem e m b e r t h a t t h e h u m a n n e r v o u s system c a n n o t tell t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n a real e x p e r i e n c e a n d a vividly i m a g ined one. All you n e e d do is r e m e m b e r a time you were i n f l o w a n d a m p l i f y it. I f y o u d o this e a c h day, i t w i l l p r o g r a m your m i n d a n d b o d y to take y o u into the zone m o r e a n d m o r e , a b l e t o say t h e r i g h t t h i n g s i n j u s t t h e r i g h t way a t t h e r i g h t time, easily t h i n k i n g o f t h e p e r f e c t t h i n g t o d o , g l i d i n g t h r o u g h y o u r days w i t h a n a m a z i n g sense of satisfaction. O k a y , l e t ' s do it n o w . . . .

Stepping into the Zone 1. Make yourself comfortable, relax, and close your eyes. 2. Now remember times when you have been in states of flow, seeing what you saw, hearing what

228

Change


you heard, feeling how g o o d you felt. This starts recreating the flow state within you. 3. Now brighter,

amplify

it:

make

the

pictures

bigger,

bolder, the sounds louder, the feelings

stronger, and anchor the state by squeezing the thumb and middle finger of one of your hands together (or use any other self-anchor you want to). 4. Now do it again, see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel how g o o d you felt. 5. Now find another time when you experienced flow and go through the procedure all over again, seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, feeling how g o o d you felt, until you only have to s q u e e z e your fingers together to feel yourself go into the flow state.

A s k y o u r u n c o n s c i o u s m i n d t o t r i g g e r t h a t flow state t h r o u g h o u t t h e day. A s y o u b e g i n t o f i n d y o u r s e l f e x p e r i e n c i n g flow m o r e a n d m o r e o f the t i m e , the n e u r a l pathways

in your brain

that

create

flow a n d b a c k g r o u n d

happiness b e c o m e stronger a n d stronger until y o u hardw i r e y o u r s e l f t o b e i n f l o w all t h e t i m e .

THE P R O B L E M W I T H P L E A S U R E A n u m b e r o f p e o p l e h a v e c o m e t o m e o v e r t h e y e a r s suffering from what I can only describe as "an excess of

229

PAUL

McKENNA

pleasure." I like to share with t h e m a distinction b e t w e e n p l e a s u r e a n d w h a t I will c a l l s a t i s f a c t i o n — t h a t is, b e t w e e n those things that feel g o o d in the m o m e n t a n d those things that we feel g o o d a b o u t afterward. H e r e ' s the distinction in a nutshell:

Pleasures give the body pleasant sensations; satisfactions gratify the soul. D o e s this m e a n p l e a s u r e i s b a d ? Every heart that has beat strongly and cheerfully has left a hopeful

impulse

behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind.

N o t a t all.

But the

p r o b l e m with

pleasure is that it feels so d a r n g o o d , we c a n b e easily t e m p t e d t o p u t i t a t the t o p o f o u r p r i o r i t y list a s w e p u r s u e t h e g o o d life a t a l l c o s t s . B u t t h e g o o d l i f e i s largely d e v o i d of the satisfactions that c o m e w h e n we pit ourselves against a w o r t h y c h a l l e n g e . P e r h a p s this is w h y

—Robert Louis Stevenson

Sir R i c h a r d B r a n s o n c o n t i n u e s t o risk life

and limb

in

a helium

balloon—

because he recognizes that too m u c h of t h e so-called g o o d life c a n b e b a d f o r y o u . I n f a c t , p l e a s u r e p u r s u e d f o r its o w n s a k e a c t u a l l y s e e m s to g e t in t h e way of h a p p i n e s s . A lizard will starve t o d e a t h i f y o u try t o h a n d - f e e d it, y e t i t w i l l t h r i v e w h e n a l l o w e d t o h u n t its o w n f o o d ; a n e a r o f c o r n w i l l r o t o n t h e stalk i f n o t c h a l l e n g e d b y w i n d a n d rain. A n d i f y o u want to be happy, y o u n e e d to take on a worthy chall e n g e — e v e n i f that's t h e last t h i n g y o u f e e l y o u w a n t ! S o h o w d o w e c r e a t e a h a p p i e r , m o r e s a t i s f y i n g life?

230

Change


1. Allow More Pleasure into Your Life T h i s m a y s e e m t o g o a g a i n s t e v e r y t h i n g I h a v e b e e n saying, b u t for m o s t of us, o u r lust for pleasure is tied in to the a p p e a l o f f o r b i d d e n fruit. I n fact, t h e w o r d i n o u r s o c i e t y m o s t c o m m o n l y p a i r e d w i t h p l e a s u r e i s guilty. B y m a k i n g it okay to take time o u t to listen to the rain while taking a warm, candlelit bath (or watching football while drinking a b e e r ) , we can stop spending so m u c h time policing ourselves a n d b e g i n taking m o r e time to challenge ourselves.

2. Discover Your Strengths and Begin to Put Them to Work We t e n d to feel o u r best w h e n we are d o i n g o u r best, a n d we can only do o u r best w h e n we are d o i n g what we do b e s t — t h a t is, p l a y i n g t o o u r s t r e n g t h s . W h i l e c o n v e n tional wisdom encourages us to develop our weaknesses, research into success a n d fulfillment points o u t that w h e n w e p l a y t o o u r s t r e n g t h s a n d manage o u r w e a k n e s s , w e n o t only p e r f o r m better b u t w e g e t m o r e satisfaction f r o m our performance. To identify y o u r strengths, e m p l o y what m a n a g e m e n t consultants

call

"360-degree

feedback"—that

is,

ask

p e o p l e i n e v e r y a r e a o f y o u r life w h a t t h e y c o n s i d e r y o u r strengths to be until y o u can clearly identify the c o m m o n characteristics a n d standards.

231

PAUL

MCKENNA

3. Do at Least One Difficult Thing Each Day When

Mihaly

Csikszentmihalyi

completed

his

initial

studies into flow a n d the psychology of optimal experie n c e , he was a s k e d by a r e p o r t e r to s u m m a r i z e the findings of w h a t was a 2,000-page d o c u m e n t . A f t e r t h i n k i n g for a moment,

Csikszentmihalyi said:

" E v e r y day,

the

h a p p y p e r s o n d o e s a t least o n e difficult thing." While it may s e e m o d d to c o n c l u d e a lesson in happiness b y talking a b o u t deliberately s e e k i n g o u t difficulties, i t i s a l e s s o n t h a t life i t s e l f c o n t i n u a l l y a t t e m p t s t o t e a c h u s . Lillian

Galbraith,

one

of

the

most

extraordinary

w o m e n o f the twentieth century a n d a n early p i o n e e r i n t h e field o f productivity, was a s k e d w h a t k e p t h e r s o alive a n d vital i n t o h e r seventies. S h e r e p l i e d , "Every m o r n i n g I a s k G o d t o g i v e m e a d a y f i l l e d w i t h c h a l l e n g e s a n d difficulties. E v e r y e v e n i n g I give t h a n k s , as he always answers my m o r n i n g prayer!" W h e n s e e k i n g o u t w o r t h y c h a l l e n g e i n y o u r o w n life, b e a r i n m i n d t h a t o p t i m a l e x p e r i e n c e t e n d s t o live a t t h e balancing point at the

outer edge

of your abilities—

w h e n y o u ' r e fully e n g a g e d b u t n o t o v e r w h e l m e d b y the challenge. Congratulations—you're

almost done!

In

the

con-

c l u d i n g c h a p t e r , I'll s h a r e w i t h y o u s o m e i d e a s o n h o w t o maintain a n d develop the c h a n g e s that have b e e n occurr i n g o v e r t h e last s e v e n days. Until then, Paul

McKenna

232

>o
c>

H Z O I m

5 -r m

m — — m "n Z * .m CD

t was registration day at the university, and the young man was preparing to continue the adventure in learning that had been going on so long it seemed to have no beginning and no end. Lost in thought,

his mind racing with possibilities for what lay ahead,

he barely noticed the old man in front of him until he bumped straight into him. "I'm sorry, Professor," the young man said, embarrassed. "Oh, I'm not a professor, " the old man replied.

"I'm a new stu-

dent, just like you." "But how old are you?" the young man said in shock. "I'm seventy-three, " the old man said with a twinkle in his eye. "And what are you studying?" the young man continued. "Medicine—I've always wanted to be a doctor,

and now ..."

The old man paused as if remembering something from a long time ago. "Now I'm finally ready to follow my dreams!"

235

PAUL

McKENNA

The young man seemed quite shocked.

"No disrespect, sir, but to

become a doctor will take at least seven years. In seven years, you '11 be eighty years old!" The old man put his hand on the young man's shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes. "God willing," the old man said with a smile, years old whether I follow my dreams or not. "

236

"I'll be eighty

THE P O W E R O F S U G G E S T I O N In my hypnotic shows, I often offer the p e o p l e on stage a posthypnotic suggestion. L o n g after they think their part i n t h e s h o w i s o v e r , e v e r y t i m e I say a k e y w o r d o r p h r a s e t h e y will b e g i n to e n a c t the b e h a v i o r I h a v e s u g g e s t e d to them. T h r o u g h o u t this b o o k , I have b e e n giving suggestions f o r h o w y o u c a n n o t o n l y c h a n g e y o u r life b u t k e e p t h e c h a n g e over the weeks, m o n t h s , a n d years ahead. S o m e o f t h e s e s u g g e s t i o n s w e r e d i r e c t — t h a t is, y o u w i l l h a v e noticed

my

suggesting

them

as

you

read.

However,

others were i n d i r e c t — e m b e d d e d into the text in order to send t h e m directly into y o u r unconscious m i n d a n d designed to be triggered by the natural occurrences that h a p p e n i n e v e r y o n e ' s life. Please k n o w this:

Every single one of those suggestions will assist you in creating the life of your dreams, including the ones you are not even aware of yet. I n o r d e r t o facilitate a n d r e i n f o r c e y o u r o n g o i n g success, I h a v e c r e a t e d t h e f o l l o w i n g daily success w o r k o u t . T h i s is the s a m e r o u t i n e I use every m o r n i n g to set myself u p f o r a w o n d e r f u l day. I s u g g e s t t h a t f o r t h e n e x t w e e k o r so, y o u follow this r o u t i n e exactly as I have d e s i g n e d it f o r

237

PAUL

McKENNA

Your Daily Success Workout 1. Begin by taking three d e e p breaths. Each time you breathe in, feel any areas of tension and stress in your body. Each time you breathe out, feel yourself letting go and relaxing into a lovely, peaceful state. 2. Imagine the qualities of your authentic self. See yourself going through your day as your authentic self. Do this several times until it b e c o m e s easy to imagine. 3. Now, review your top five values. Take a moment to really feel each one, and once again guide your mind through the day ahead. Each time you do this, you are programming yourself to have a wonderful day! 4. Use the inner smile to activate your endorphin response. Smile into every area of yourself and keep feeling better and better and better. 5. Review your big dream. Ask your mind to guide you in thought, word, and action to do and say exactly the right things to make your dreams c o m e true for the highest g o o d of all concerned. 6. What are you most grateful for in your life? Spend at least one minute focused on all the g o o d things you already have and everything that's right with your world. 7. Finish by taking three more d e e p breaths. This time, allow each breath in to fill you with energy, and each breath out to energize you even more.

238


you. As y o u b e c o m e m o r e familiar with the techniques in the b o o k , y o u c a n b e g i n to substitute o t h e r exercises for the ones written here. By m a k i n g time in y o u r day to prog r a m y o u r m i n d with positive suggestions, y o u r e n e r g y a n d m o t i v a t i o n will i n c r e a s e a n d y o u will b e c o m e h a p p i e r , s t r o n g e r , a n d m o r e c r e a t i v e a s y o u r life c o n t i n u e s t o g e t e v e n better. W i t h p r a c t i c e , y o u will find y o u c a n c o m p l e t e this r o u t i n e i n a s l i t t l e a s five m i n u t e s . H o w e v e r , I r e c o m m e n d that w h e n e v e r possible, y o u take at least fifteen m i n u t e s t o r e a l l y s e t y o u r s e l f u p f o r t h e day. A s M a h a t m a G a n d h i o n c e said in the midst of his c a m p a i g n to create a free a n d self-governing India: T h a v e s o m u c h t o d o t o d a y I will n e e d t o m e d i t a t e twice as l o n g ! "

HOW G O O D CAN IT GET? Finally, a s w e r e a c h t h e e n d o f t h e b o o k , I ' d like t o talk a b o u t t h e f u t u r e . Y o u m a y r e m e m b e r that I started this b o o k b y t a l k i n g a b o u t h o w w e live i n a truly e x c i t i n g t i m e i n o u r p l a n e t ' s history. T h e s e days t h e r e i s m o r e i n f o r m a tion to absorb, m o r e to learn, a n d m o r e opportunities than ever before. As the pace of c h a n g e gets quicker a n d quicker, the creative t e c h n o l o g y we have n o w is able to constantly u p g r a d e a n d i m p r o v e itself. A h u n d r e d a n d fifty y e a r s a g o t h e t e l e g r a p h first m a d e i t p o s s i b l e t o s e n d m e s s a g e s quickly over great distances.

239

Within

thirty years,

the

PAUL

McKENNA

Your Daily Success Workout 1. Begin by taking three d e e p breaths. Each time you breathe in, feel any areas of tension and stress in your body. Each time you breathe out, feel yourself letting go and relaxing into a lovely, peaceful state. 2. Imagine the qualities of your authentic self. See yourself going through your day as your authentic self. Do this several times until it b e c o m e s easy to imagine. 3. Now, review your top five values. Take a moment to really feel each one, and once again guide your mind through the day ahead. Each time you do this, you are programming yourself to have a wonderful day! 4. Use the inner smile to activate your endorphin response. Smile into every area of yourself and keep feeling better and better and better. 5. Review your big dream. Ask your mind to guide you in thought, word, and action to do and say exactly the right things to make your dreams c o m e true for the highest g o o d of all concerned. 6. What are you most grateful for in your life? Spend at least one minute focused on all the g o o d things you already have and everything that's right with your world. 7. Finish by taking three more d e e p breaths. This time, allow each breath in to fill you with energy, and each breath out to energize you even more.

238

Change


you. As y o u b e c o m e m o r e familiar with the techniques in the b o o k , y o u c a n b e g i n to substitute o t h e r exercises for the ones written here. By m a k i n g time in y o u r day to prog r a m y o u r m i n d with positive suggestions, y o u r e n e r g y a n d m o t i v a t i o n w i l l i n c r e a s e a n d y o u will b e c o m e h a p p i e r , s t r o n g e r , a n d m o r e c r e a t i v e a s y o u r life c o n t i n u e s t o g e t e v e n better. W i t h p r a c t i c e , y o u will f i n d y o u c a n c o m p l e t e this r o u t i n e i n a s little a s f i v e m i n u t e s . H o w e v e r , I r e c o m m e n d that w h e n e v e r possible, y o u take at least fifteen m i n u t e s t o r e a l l y s e t y o u r s e l f u p f o r t h e day. A s M a h a t m a G a n d h i o n c e said in t h e midst of his c a m p a i g n to create a free a n d self-governing India: " I h a v e s o m u c h t o d o t o d a y I will n e e d t o m e d i t a t e twice as l o n g ! "

HOW G O O D C A N IT GET? Finally, a s w e r e a c h t h e e n d o f t h e b o o k , I'd like t o talk a b o u t t h e f u t u r e . Y o u m a y r e m e m b e r t h a t I started this b o o k b y t a l k i n g a b o u t h o w w e live i n a truly e x c i t i n g t i m e i n o u r p l a n e t ' s history. T h e s e days t h e r e i s m o r e i n f o r m a tion to absorb, m o r e to learn, a n d m o r e opportunities than ever before. As the p a c e of c h a n g e gets q u i c k e r a n d quicker, the creative t e c h n o l o g y we have n o w is able to constantly u p g r a d e a n d i m p r o v e itself. A h u n d r e d a n d f i f t y y e a r s a g o t h e t e l e g r a p h first m a d e i t p o s s i b l e t o s e n d m e s s a g e s quickly over

great distances.

239

Within

thirty years,

the

PAUL

McKENNA

t e l e p h o n e h a d arrived, quickly followed 1 he illiterate of the

jjy v o i c e

twenty-first century

f

a

will not b e those who cannot read and

;

a

y^

n

e

d

c

e

recording,

radio,

television,

-mail.

a

n

p l a n e t in

write, but those who cannot learn,

X

n

o

an

w

c o m m u n i c a t e across the instant.

Something h a p

p e n s on o n e side of the w o r l d a n d we c

a

n

w a

tch

it on

our

televisions,

read

unlearn, and

a b o u t it on the W e b , a n d c o m m u n i c a t e

relearn.

a b o u t it by e-mail, all s h a r i n g t h e e x p e —Atvin Toffler

rience ears

simultaneously.

of our

The

eyes

and

telecommunications

net-

w o r k are b e c o m i n g the eyes a n d ears of humanity. M o r e t h a n ever, the m i n d i s n o w t h e d o m i n a n t creative f o r c e o n this p l a n e t . O u r t h o u g h t s a r e m o r e p o w e r ful than they have ever b e e n , a n d with the e x p o n e n t i a l e n h a n c e m e n t s in t e c h n o l o g y we are likely to see s o m e amazing changes in the near future. S o m e scientists b e l i e v e t h a t w i t h i n t h e n e x t f e w y e a r s w e will h a v e a c u r e f o r c a n c e r , d r u g s t o p e r m a n e n d y i n c r e a s e intelligence, cryogenic preservation, a n d genetic control o f a g i n g . V i r t u a l reality, g e n e t i c r e p r o g r a m m i n g , a n d d e v e l o p m e n t s i n n a n o t e c h n o l o g y will o f f e r b e n e f i t s w e c a n n o t e v e n imagine, as today's science fiction b e c o m e s the t e m p l a t e f o r t o m o r r o w ' s s c i e n c e fact. W e s t a n d , m a n y o f u s unknowingly, on the edge of an amazing leap in h u m a n ity's e v o l u t i o n . T o m a k e this l e a p , w e n e e d a radical shift i n o u r values. Rather than continually looking for fulfillment in the outside world, w h i c h has m a d e us overly competitive

240

Change


a n d selfish, w e n e e d t o b e g i n t o f i n d m o r e c o n t e n t m e n t within. I believe that a n e w a g e of p s y c h o t e c h n o l o g y is u p o n us, a n d the kind of techniques we've b e e n using in this b o o k will b e c o m e w h a t m o r e a n d m o r e p e o p l e t u r n to in o r d e r to h e l p b r i n g a b o u t positive c h a n g e s at every level of society. T h e s e d a y s , a c o u n t r y ' s w e a l t h i s n o l o n g e r g a u g e d b y its physical resources. Instead, it is ideas a n d their i m p l e m e n tation that create wealth. T h e real source of wealth is in o u r m i n d s , a n d t h o s e o f u s w i t h t h e r i c h e s t i d e a s will c r e a t e the greatest wealth in the world. Just think for a m o m e n t — y o u possess o n e o f the m o s t valuable a n d p o w e r f u l pieces o f e q u i p m e n t i n the w o r l d right b e t w e e n y o u r ears! Y o u have l e a r n e d s o m e p o w e r f u l ways t o r u n y o u r o w n brain. T h e positive software that y o u have p u t into y o u r m i n d will b e g i n t o m a n i f e s t m o r e a n d m o r e b e n e f i c i a l r e s u l t s e a c h day. T h e f a c t t h a t y o u ' v e c h o s e n t o i n v e s t i n y o u r o w n e v o l u t i o n sets y o u a p a r t f r o m t h e m a s s e s . It's a d e c i s i o n t h a t w i l l e n r i c h t h e q u a l i t y o f y o u r life m a n y times over, b e c a u s e life is o n l y as a m a z i n g as t h e w a y y o u c h o o s e t o l i v e it. A s y o u p r a c t i c e t h e t e c h n i q u e s i n this b o o k , t a k i n g responsibility for p r o g r a m m i n g your o w n m i n d , y o u are putting yourself at the forefront of o u r culture. Y o u are b e c o m i n g a leader, a n d the choices y o u m a k e a b o u t w h e r e a n d h o w y o u l e a d will b e c o m e i n c r e a s i n g l y s i g n i f i c a n t . As

you

continue

on

your journey

to

the

life

of

y o u r d r e a m s , I w o u l d like t o leave y o u w i t h this B u d d h i s t blessing:

241

About the Author

PAUL MCKENNA, P H . D . , is t h e w o r l d ' s l e a d i n g h y p °

'

o t i s t

His T V shows have b e e n w a t c h e d i n forty-two c o u °

t n e s

by more than 500 million p e o p l e a r o u n d t h e worldHe has appeared on Good Morning America, The ^* > eW

Entertainment Tonight, MTV, PrimeTime Live,

The Montel

Williams Show, Ricki Lake, The Sally Jesse Raphael Show, Leeza, The Maury Povitch Show, The Howard Stern Shov), a n d CNN among many others. His award-winning c o m e d y h y p n o t i c s h o w p l a y * e(

Broadway and i n L o n d o n ' s West E n d , r e c e i v i n g

r

a

o n

v

e

reviews. He is a bestselling author, a n d his private clients include rock stars, movie stars, s u p e r m o d e l s , a n d r o y a l t y Recently, the London Times n a m e d h i m as o n e o f the t o p ten m o d e m gurus, alongside D e e p a k C h o p r a , N e k ° Mandela, and the Dalai L a m a .

n

PAUL

McKENNA

May you be safe and protected. May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you carry your life with ease and grace. Until next we meet, Paul

McKenna

242

About the Author

PAUL M C K E N N A , P H . D . , i s t h e w o r l d ' s l e a d i n g h y p n o t i s t . His TV shows have b e e n watched in forty-two countries b y m o r e t h a n 500 m i l l i o n p e o p l e a r o u n d t h e w o r l d . He h a s a p p e a r e d on Entertainment Williams Leeza,

Tonight,

Show,

Ricki

Good Morning America,

MTV, Lake,

PrimeTime The

The Maury Povitch Show,

Live,

Sally Jesse

The The

View, Montel

Raphael

Show,

The Howard Stern Show,

and

C N N a m o n g many others. His award-winning c o m e d y hypnotic show played on Broadway and

in

London's

West End,

receiving

rave

reviews. He

is

a bestselling author,

a n d his

private

clients

i n c l u d e r o c k stars, m o v i e stars, s u p e r m o d e l s , a n d royalty. R e c e n d y , t h e London Times n a m e d h i m a s o n e o f t h e t o p ten m o d e r n gurus,

alongside Deepak Chopra,

Mandela, a n d the Dalai Lama.

Nelson

Paul McKenna - Change Your Life in 7 Days

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