PERA GAMES & OVERFALL KNOW YOUR NARRATIVE PILLARS… BEST PRACTICES OVERFALL’S PILLARS OPTIONS THAT EMPOWER THE PC... ...BUT RECOGNIZE THE POWER IN LACK OF OPTIONS. WRITING IN THE EDITOR/FOR THE EDITOR TECHNICAL WRITING ENGLISH: AMERICAN vs. BRITISH THE BASICS WORLD SPECIFIC TECHNICAL FORMATS SYSTEM WRITING DEFINITIONS AND PRONUNCIATION GUIDE ENCOUNTER DESIGN SCOPE DIALOGUE INTERFACE AESTHETICS... SAVE THE PLAYER TIME AND YOUR TIME: THE INTRODUCTION I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS... ...I ONLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME.
IF EVERY NPC IS A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE, NO ONE IS… HOW TO ORDER RESPONSES DIALOGUE MECHANICS FIRST BE CONSISTENT LET THE RESPONSES TELL THE STORY, TOO INSTA-WIN RESPONSES INSTA-MORALITY RESPONSES DON’T LOCK THE PLAYER IN A DIALOGUE CAGE ON THE ASSIGNING OF QUESTS RACE AND CLASS SLANG, WHEN TO USE IT... ...AND WHEN NOT TO USE IT. REWARD IS ITS OWN REWARD WRITING FOR A PROCEDURAL GAME RESPECT THE GRIND LORE SHOULD BE MORE INVENTORY ITEMS CAN TELL A STORY WRITING FOR THE PLAYER CHOKEPOINTS RESPONSE TRICKERY (THE BAIT AND SWITCH) REWARD ENGAGEMENT... ...BUT DON'T MANDATE IT. THE LAST WORD
PERA GAMES & OVERFALL My introduction to Pera Games occurred last year when Yagiz wrote to me out of the blue asking about game narratives, and during talks with the rest of the crew at Pera Games (Ibrahim, Bulut, Selin, and Kaan) we got off on a tangent that I couldn't get out of my head - the often overlooked part of the narrative design process - the idea of Game Writing Style Guides, like Strunk and White The Elements of Style , but... well, not quite as aristocratic. These guides are often the responsibility of the Creative/Writing Lead on any project (or should be), and it's best to have one in hand and reviewed by every developer who will be writing before any actual writing begins - it's usually one of the requirements for pre-production of a game as well. I've done many style guides over the years, going all the way back to Black Isle Studios, and while discussing it with Pera and going into detail, it occurred to me that simply laying out one might be helpful for both Overfall and for any budding game writers out there. While the rules don't always hold for each and every game (isometric RPGs vs. System Shock'd), there's still some common questions and answers to consider when it comes to setting ambiance, reinforcing the game pillars, and simply knowing how to format your text properly and write for the game design. Some of the material contained within is unsexy. In my experience, what’s contained herein is not why people get into game writing - but it's necessary for consistency, helping your editor out (if you're lucky to have one, I rarely am able to get that approved), and also has process suggestions about how to improve your writing overall. In any event, I hope you find it useful - not just for Overfall , but also for the wider arena of narrative design. It's a piece of the process that can often get overlooked, so please - use this as a weapon against the text monsters that come for you. - Chris Avellone
KNOW YOUR NARRATIVE PILLARS…
...or raise them yourself.
This may sound obvious, but you need to know the game you're writing for. And the franchise. And the mechanics. And what the "fun" of the game is intended to be. Overfall's already done this - all you need to do is read it. From the Game Overview,to the Gameplay - you need to understand the genre and the game itself. Often, long-winded prose has no place in a rogue-like experience (or arguably, any other game). One of the hallmarks of a narrative designer is knowing the tone of the world and the game mechanics of the world (if you don't know the range of skills any given player character can have, you won't do the best job you can writing for those skills). Know all aspects of the franchise, know where the best wikis are, the most reliable fact-checkers, and try to aspire to be one yourself - even if it means watching a Christmas Special or two. And reading all the kid’s books in the franchise. And all the video games set in that universe… well, you get the idea. It also prepares you for what’s been done before, what works, and what doesn’t. Furthermore, you should take every chance you can get to devour all available game documentation from systems docs, to level design docs, to marketing plans… and if possible, play through the systems and levels repeatedly to get a feel for the pacing and how your narrative can help propel things along - or not. “Sometimes when tasked with writing player character’s ‘banter’ for a level, I’d start with a clean slate and play the level from start to finish and make comments under my breath… and those became some of the comments actually used for the banter - because it stemmed from first impressions while playing the level, and chances are likely the player might have the same inner monologue while playing that you do and may even cause them to bond more strongly with the character speaking because they are echoing what the player is thinking. Follow your instincts!” -
Chef Chris
If there is no set tone or ambiance to the world, it is your job as a writer, lore maker, whatever your character class may be… to create the tone for the world and run it by your fellow developers. Are you looking for something light-hearted and comical-but-not-4th-wall breaking? Or perhaps a nudge and a wink in certain dialogues is fine - or maybe you want something more straight-laced, with no hint of comedy that isn’t dry, and no shadow of a comic book feel anywhere. Codify the tone, and present them to the vision holders of the game
to yay or nay - or become one of the vision holders yourself. Sometimes the art style of the game may help dictate a tone (as it does in Overfall, which suggests a certain light-heartedness), and sometimes the reverse can be true. Narrative is there to support the game - while it can be a principal pillar of a game (Telltale’s titles, for example), it's not always the deciding factor - narrative is there to support the game mechanics, the system design, and the level design - and lend reasons for why these game mechanics exist. While I may be shooting myself in the foot here, often the writer is often the least important part of a project, but what they can do is powerful - they can often do the most to give context and strength to the existing mechanics with a few simple words. Look for opportunities like this.
“An example I often use for narrative design power is this: Suppose you’re working on a sci-fi FPS with a lot of cover mechanics, but for some reason, the one level in the game that’s an outdoor environment creates a lot of problems for the cyborg enemies to seek cover - it’s often awkward, or they get caught in valleys and dips in the terrain when they crouch. It’s instances like these where a narrative designer can step in and simply say, ‘how about these cyborgs are programmed never to take cover?’ and you can set countless developer hours free.” -
Chef Chris
BEST PRACTICES When writing for games and/or if Creative Lead/Writing Lead on a game, it’s often advantageous to set up your own toolkit for you and your writers. This includes: ● Building a design template for: ○ Technical Design ○ Dialogue ○ Lore/Inventory Items ● Building a custom dictionary of system terms and definitions for sections of the interface (“Journal Pop-Up”), common narrative reference (“nodes” of text) and make sure that everyone understands the difference. ● Tone Check Folders ○ This can include reference art, images that can be sorted and showcased as being the game’s “vision.” ● A Style Guide such as this one - the information in this guide is usually dependent on the project itself: ○ Is the game going to be localized in other languages? ○ Is the game going to have voice-acting, and will the characters also “speak”? ■ In Overfall, there is no voice-acting, so those sections will be left for another time, another project (which is probably good because writing for voiced games could be another document this size all in itself).
Fortunately, Pera Games has handled a good chunk of this for you. When doing narrative design elements, it helps to define the terms of the UI. For example, the Writing an Encounter section of the story guide lays out the definitions of narration , dialogue , thought bubbles , and scenes by which an encounter is composed of.
OVERFALL’S PILLARS Overfall is a rogue-like experience, perhaps 3-5 hours per playthrough, and it’s expected in the game design that the player is likely to have to play the game a few times before a win condition occurs. The writing is intended to be light-hearted and fun, matching the game’s art style, and as a bonus, the light-hearted nature of it can often serve as a means to keep the writing momentum going - you’re not only having fun writing, but you’re allowed to channel humor into the process as well: Use it if you can, and run with it. Overfall has a great variety of fantasy elements - fearsome foes, atmospheric environments, and quirky NPCs. It’s an island-to-island experience where you don’t just sail around trying to save the world; you can just as easily encounter a charming stand-alone story or a self-contained quest progression.
Overfall is about exploration, rewarding the player for seeking out the bizarre, the strange, and the new whether it be people, places, situations, or ideas. But it doesn’t stop there - you need to pay attention to the game mechanics and the overall systematic progression goals in the title as well - as a prime example, you need to know the Reputation system for each of the races and how that can influence an encounter - it’s one of the keys to writing events and arcs for the game, and even better, it’s a collection of simple, effective gates (when Rep = Friendly with a race, then their homeland becomes accessible).
OPTIONS THAT EMPOWER THE PC... If we give a player the option to create a character build with the system we’ve provided them, and it's not viable, then we have failed as game designers. This is also true for when one of your principal means of interacting with the world and influencing it is dialogue and the character’s skills are allowed to affect the outcome. (See the section on Traits.) Players should feel that their character build is useful, matters, and if you check skills in dialogue and events, try and balance it across all the skills - use an Excel sheet if you have to (and you may need to do this for Races and Classes as well). If a character has Intimidation, or Diplomacy, they want to flex those abilities. Let them. And let them see the results of having that character build and showcase why those traits are viable. The trick lies in: -
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Making sure these options are balanced in dialogue interactions. (For Fallout: Van Buren , these were listed in Excel sheets to see how often checks were called.) No one Trait should clearly outshine another. Be careful of the instant-win option, especially in RPGs. If a player is trained that selecting a certain Trait choice or high skill choice will guarantee a win, it often removes much of the role-playing and thoughtfulness that comes with being presented with a situation. Traits are best used to give more information about an encounter, not solve the encounter for the player. Be aware of the game’s genre and whether the success should be random or not. In RPGs players are likely to only play once, sometimes the lack of a random chance of failure in a dialogue skill check is a good thing, but in a rogue-like experience (arguably, a gambling experience in some respects), much of the experience involves chance, and a little randomness thrown in (critical failures or critical successes) can keep a player on their toes.
Also, while this doesn’t apply specifically to Overfall, for tutorial and opening areas, it's something to keep in mind for largely single-player RPGs: often, it’s a good idea if every single skill and perk (or trait) that a player could have chosen has a positive impact early on that showcases how useful it is in dialogue (where appropriate) and how the skill translates into the dialogue system’s rewards.
...BUT RECOGNIZE THE POWER IN LACK OF OPTIONS. Sometimes feeling the lack of something is a powerful motivator to fill that absence. As early on as System Shock 2 , I was both grumbling yet motivated by n ot having the skill level to do something I wanted... but that block made me feel the lack of that skill, which is part of the essence of RPGs. Also, you want to clearly know why you can't do something, and in the example above, you're reinforcing the fact that the experience is a deep RPG by showing what the options could have been. The only problem comes when there's no balance, and if some character classes don't seem to have many options that appear. In that case, then the player may feel cheated and dialogue may become stagnant and appear too simplistic regardless of what’s going on under the hood of the dialogue interface. This can still be okay, if, say, the reason dialogue responses don't pop up is b/c this character is awesome in combat, so they make up for it when a fight breaks out, but it’s simply that the other Traits aren’t useful in dialogue. In previous titles, we’ve still tried to make these physical prowess abilities useful, however, whether using Dexterity to snap someone’s neck, or Strength to help intimidate or arm-wrestle someone, and so on.
WRITING IN THE EDITOR/FOR THE EDITOR Over the course of my career, I've written scripts that are batch file'd into games ( Fallout 2) , others that existed solely as Word docs that were cut and pasted manually line-by-line either by me, scripters, or design interns with an eye for detail - and other times, whenever possible, writing in the editor. Whichever method you use, it's important to lay out the process you want your writers to follow and recognize the advantages of each. How much text can fit in the window - and budget for it. Players shouldn't be flooded with text, and whenever possible, text should always be written so a player can see it all in one chunk without the need to scroll down or do anything other than glance at the screen (multiple "continue" clicks - preferably no more than three, and that's pushing it - are usually fine). For Overfall, for example, tracks by characters (letters, not, like, fantasy characters). Narrative Bar - 200 characters. Choice Tooltip - 100 characters. Speech Bubble - 120 characters. You want to be aware how long a sentence can be because whenever possible, you don't have players have to "click to continue" or scroll down if they can help it while playing your game - make it easy on them.
(It’s especially irritating to have players do this when the Continue or Scroll Bars are nowhere near the response selections for a character, so you find yourself dragging your mouse (or finger) all over the screen simply to read.) Still, this functionality (Continue/Scroll Bars) is important to have regardless, especially for localization. Localization, you say? Yes, localization. Localization (the process of translating game text into other languages) is something you need to be conscious of - German, in particular, increases the amount of characters in translation, requiring you to budget up to an additional 35% of space to accommodate the additional length of lines (125% to 150% in some cases). But the goal is be concise and do your best to make it fit. I’ve often found Twitter to be a great training tool for writers b/c it forces that brevity in an uncompromising manner (and some editors, like Bethesda’s GECK, also limit the amount of displayed text you can enter per node). Spell-Checking: I often find that if a toolset/importation process doesn’t have a spell-checker provided, nor is there an export function for all the existing text, it can be better to write in Word or Google Docs, and let the checking functionality there correct any text, grammar, or formatting bugs before they get into the game engine itself - and also, in some cases, having it stored there is easier for another writer to review (if they have time). This usually requires that you also make a Custom Dictionary as you go (I usually do an Ignore All for certain names and words, since I’m always afraid that if I add special case words in the Word dictionary permanently, I may miss errors in future docs that accidentally have those words when they shouldn’t). In addition, Word makes it easy to check for errors in many of the basic technical categories below (searching for “double spaces,” or improperly formatted hyphens, ellipses, dashes, and so on). And it’s best not to do it only before you enter the text but… Polish/Finalization Pass Checks: ...also when you’re wrapping up the last text of the game. If you can export it great - even if it goes to an XML/Excel file, you can usually copy and paste whole tables into Word, and then go through it for errors using Word’s functionality to catch items that may have crept in there during the process. Script and Trait Calls: In Overfall, Traits are likely to be called in scripts like so: [Intimidate]Come with me. Or else. [Spirit]Lay the Forsaken’s soul to rest. Or some script text may have a tag associated with it: {Tag_Goodbye}She gives you a wave and a smile as you embark your ship. {Tag_Chase2}She runs away, screaming for help.
Overfall’s bracket systems above don’t display the text in brackets, which is useful, but it’s also something to watch out for because improper spacing around bracketed text can cause extra spaces to appear on screen when you don’t mean them to. For example, if the first example above had been written as: [Intimidate] Come with me. Or else. ...then when the text was displayed on screen, those spaces after [Intimidate] would be present, floating in front of the line. Same with tags: Incorrect: {Tag_Chase2} She runs away, screaming for help. Correct: {Tag_Chase2}She runs away, screaming for help. So even though it may look odd to write, keep bracketed text flush with the actual text so the formatting remains solid.
TECHNICAL WRITING ...dotting your eyes and crossing your teas. When doing a game, it’s important to standardize elements of the process, especially from a technical writing standpoint. Do you single space or double space? What color fonts should be used for upgrade text vs. debuffs? As you go through each element of the text, you may discover a staggering number of rules to standardize… but it’s worth it. Again, this is not sexy when folks think about game writing, but it’s the elements commonly included in style guides. These style guide elements can also be used by quality assurance as part of their testing plans - and if you’re lucky to be able to get an editor, it can also be used by the editor to review/check the text.
“This section is a bunch of technical specs for writing - it shouldn’t necessarily be used for dialogue writing. For example, people use improper grammars, excessively excessive adverbs, and love the word very , very, very, very much when talking. The elements below are just for more technical elements, such as interface text, help text, and even gasp - design documents, if you so choose.” -
Chef Chris
ENGLISH: AMERICAN vs. BRITISH When I say “American vs. British,” I’m not talking about the Revolutionary War here - more and more, game designers are writing for a global audience - "English" varies depending on whether it's American or British ( color instead of colour , for example). Sometimes you need to check and make sure your toolset or your dictionary is properly set to check for one of the other as the differences can creep up on you (apologise vs. apologize, traveller vs. traveler - in some instances both will be correct, but keep them consistent within your story). So either American or British: choose your poison. (As long as it’s American.)
THE BASICS Passive Voice: Avoid this in technical documents. orrect: C We avoided contact with the Vorn. Incorrect: Contact with the Vorn was avoided.
Writing Out Numbers: Unless it's part of an interface screen statistic, numbers less than 10 should be written out… Correct: The bodies are lined up nine deep. Incorrect: The bodies are lined up 9 deep. Correct: The bodies are lined up 11 deep. Incorrect: The bodies are lined up eleven deep. Number Comparisons:1 ...unless you are doing a comparison within the sentence of two similar values and one is higher than nine. This does not apply to a value not being compared. Correct: The bodies are lined up 9 deep and 11 across. Incorrect: The bodies are lined up nine deep and 11 across. Correct: Our five scouts reported that the bodies are lined up 9 deep and 11 across. Incorrect: Our 5 scouts reported that the bodies are lined up 9 deep and 11 across. ...same with other variations of the number: Correct: First come, first serve. Incorrect: 1st come, 1st serve.
1
Proper “spelling out of numbers” has always been somewhat confusing to me, so many thanks to Mignon Fogarty’s blog (Grammar Girl), which you can find Grammar Girl: How to Write Numbers (Mar 28, 2008). Thanks, Mignon!
Correct: We found him down by the 19th marker. Incorrect: We found him down by nineteenth marker. Numbers Next To Each Other: In this instance, you do break the rules when the numbers are flush against each other, but the choice is up to the writer depending on which word is easier for the reader. We brought 15 eleven foot spikes. (Or fifteen 11 foot spikes.) We bought nine 12 foot poles. After we fought the Giant Termites, we had nine 10 foot poles. Numbers at Beginning of a Sentence: Are usually spelled out, but if the number is so long as to be ridiculous, rephrase the sentence. Twelve inch spikes are all we have. How to use Dashes: This is not the same thing as using hyphens , below. When dashes indicate an interruption, we put it flush against the text being interrupted, like so: What th-? And if worried about voice acting, then you need to indicate what is being said in the audio direction (it’s helpful for the actors to know - this doesn’t apply to Overfall, but mentioning it anyway): What the h-{"hell"}? When dashes are used to indicate a pause, then the convention is space-singledash-space: I ncorrect: What- you mean, he was lying all along? Incorrect: What-you mean he was lying all along? Incorrect: What--you mean he was lying all along? (We don't double dash.) Correct: What - you mean, he was lying all along? Ellipses: We use ellipses to indicate characters' tone drifting off, usually in awe or uncertainty. We use three dots next to each other (don't space them out), and if the text resumes, we use a space at the end. If the ellipses end the sentence (preferably only at the end of a paragraph), we use four dots. Incorrect: What do you mean...oh, I see now. Incorrect: What do you mean. . . oh, I see now. orrect: C What do you mean... oh, I see now. Correct: So you're saying we have to kill him.... (At end of paragraph.)
Whenever possible, ellipses should be a precursor to finishing a sentence, so write it as such. Don’t capitalize the next word after the ellipses. I ncorrect: What do you mean... Oh, I see now. Correct: What do you mean... oh, I see now. All Caps: Normally, I don’t advocate the use of ALL CAPS (although it is easier to see in text displays) unless italics are not available, in which case ALL CAPS can help to indicate proper stress on a word to the reader. (See italics , below). In Overfall, ALL CAPS is used for EXACTLY that. Single-Space vs. Double-Space: While both of these are correct, I prefer single-spacing for economy reasons (it saves dialogue screen real estate). Because Overfall is wise, Overfall uses single spacing for economy of text on screen. Multiple End Punctuation: Try not to use more than one exclamation mark or question mark to convey a sentence. While this is more permissible in a light-hearted game like Overfall, one punctuation mark is enough to convey the point. I ncorrect: What the hell , man!!! Correct: What the hell , man! Oxford Comma: Overfall uses the Oxford comma to separate a list of items like such, so, and this. (Incorrect = “...like such, so and this.”) I ncorrect: What is that, that and that? Correct: What is that, that, and that? Hyphens: Hyphens are used largely as per usual - the only twists are that we standardize some words, like single-player (see the dictionary, below). Alright vs. All right: We use "all right" in Overfall . Italics? Do you have them? If your game can't do italics, how do you represent them? Example: Do you have them? Do *you* have them? Do YOU have them? Choose what works best and stick to it. In Overfall, the convention is to use ALL CAPS to convey inflections on words (and arguably, it’s the easiest way for the player to see the emphasis in text). Combination of Punctuation: Figuring out the best place to put quotes and loud questions (? + !) can be tricky, so choose it up front. Generally, I favor the following:
What the hell are you going on about? "What the hell are you going on about?!" "What the hell are you going on ‘aboot,’ Canadian?!" Single and Double Quotation Marks: These are typically used only within a sentence, but when used in Overfall, the quotes go on the inside of the sentence: I think he meant "gone". Well, it's what the Vorn call... "charity”. ...but end punctuation can go inside the quotes if it's part of the actual quote. For example: I think he just asked, "what are you talking about?" Single quotes follow the same convention. Very, Uniquely, Truly: Watch these words, they are poison and leech strength from the core word. Normally, when doing prose or technical writing, never use these... for NPC dialogue, however, it's more relaxed, since people use those words in speech. Adverbs: ...adverbs are the devil. Examine each one you use in technical writing, and be aware of overuse in spoken dialogue (although it's more permissible there to match the cadence of speech). Never mind: This is a simple comment (thanks, Kevin Saunders) to remind folks this is two words, not one. Decide how to do written SFX: There's many ways to do this (weeping, sniffling, coughing), the important thing is that you decide how you want to display it on screen: - Snfff - Cough In Overfall, asterisks are used to bracket text SFX indicators: *Snff* *Cough*
WORLD SPECIFIC TECHNICAL FORMATS Some words in Overfall require special care and handling and there are special grammar rules:
Races: Some games capitalize races and monsters, some games don’t. In Overfall, all races are capitalized with the exception of humans - the Forsaken, Goblins, Trolls, and so on, and of course, the Vorn. In addition, how are these races used as adjectives (for example, in Overfall, the adjective for Orc isn't "Orc," it's "Orcish" - see below). Classes: Similar to races and monsters, some games capitalize classes, some don’t. In Overfall, classes are capitalized as well (Bards, Priests, Paladins). Specific Word Capitalization and Spelling Rules: Dust - this is a drug, and it’s capitalized in Overfall (along with the other resources). Orcish - Adjective for something of Orcish nature: Correct: The Orcish blade gleamed in the night. Incorrect: The Orc blade gleamed in the night. Everguard - this is singular. Correct: Everguard Incorrect: Everguards
SYSTEM WRITING When writing for terminology involving game systems - including text on inventory Items, interface screens, and even tutorial text, you want to use conventions as well - generally, I err on the side of capitalizing all Attribute/Trait/Reputation and other core system terms when possible - and to set them apart from the normal definition of the word. Random examples, not tied to Overfall. It’ll hurt his reputation if word of his Reputation system design gets out. This adds a bonus to your Strength score when you use your Strength successfully in a previous Challenge Check that involved no other Trait. Some questions you will want to ask yourself when writing for systems is the proper formatting of spells, for example. Is it Fireball, fireball, Fireball, and so on - and keep it consistent. And when listing out the abilities for inventory items and spells, keep the presentation of the powers and the grammar and punctuation (down to the colon usage and spacing) consistent as well.
We’ll use Bertina as an example (forgive me, Bertina).
The title is bolded, the initial effects are sentences, damage/negative effects are highlighted in red , and the Cooldown, Target, Range, Radius are capitalized, and are all followed by equalsignQuantitative Definition. This pattern is repeated into the Skills (in this case below, the exception is that positive buffs are done in yellow . Colors are an effective way to communicate the gist of Skills and Traits quickly, and they should also be clearly defined (usually in your system guide), in conjunction with the interface artist aesthetic.
“While this may be painful for your creative instincts, don’t feel the need to reinvent the wheel with brand new ability designators and formats solely for being different than others in your game space - if you’re in the same genre as a vastly more popular title and desire the same audience to try your game, it’s easier for them to absorb your interface if you’re using roughly the same “system and color language” as the more popular title (g ray is trash items, green is minor magic items, etc.).” -
Chef Chris
This can be a sticking point for narrative designers and system designers, but the naming of spells and systems should complement each other - and when possible, help drive the lore of the world. A medieval fantasy system for reputation shouldn’t be called Population Metric Tracking or tracking the quest states for an epic storyline shouldn’t be called the Footnote System - the two should complement each other. For spells to suggest world flavor, we used this extensively in Planescape: Torment (the Unbroken Circle of Zerthimon), and Overfall uses it effectively as well, especially with the spell and Trait descriptions: Heart of Olath , for example, which ties to the world and gives a hint of what Olath’s history was:
So use spells, abilities, and items to help tell your story! It’s easy to suggest an epic arc with a title and a few simple words. The only thing to keep in mind is that the “narrative flavor” of a response shouldn’t hinder a player’s ability to quickly grasp what an ability does at a glance. Evard’s Black Tentacles is a good example of how to do this (while I can’t recite the ability from memory, it’s pretty clear that it’s likely [1] an attack spell based on black and tentacles [don’t laugh], and [2] it might be an area effect spell based on the plural). Bellama’s 3rd Concerta , however, might need additional reinforcement (... of Silence, of Flame , and so on). “But that said, favor data over flavor. When we were writing Planescape: Torment back at Black Isle, we reorganized the inventory item data in the exact opposite manner than the Infinity Engine normally did. Where Baldur’s Gate put the inventory item data last (so you often had to scroll down to see it), in Torment , we purposely put the inventory item data at the top of an entry - we recognized that people were more likely to be checking stats (and repeatedly) more than reading the item descriptions.”
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Chef Chris
DEFINITIONS AND PRONUNCIATION GUIDE The system discussion above also applies to narrative systems, and you’ll want to use the system language for narrative consistently - this means when doing narrative design elements, it helps to define the terms of the UI. For example, the Writing an Encounter section of the story guide lays out the definitions of narration, dialogue, thought bubbles, and scenes by which an encounter is composed of. Be aware of these and use them - this standardization of dialogue terms is designed to help the entire team be on the same page.
ENCOUNTER DESIGN While encounter design was covered in the Story Overview, a note here on Scope:
SCOPE Scope for an encounter is something you may want to track, especially if you’re on a deadline (if you’re doing this for fun, knock yourself out). Time yourself how long it takes to relatively simple encounters (a few exchanges) vs. more complicated ones (100+ options). For a rogue-like experience, it’s often better to devote your energies to creating a breadth of small generic encounters with a wide range of systematic resolutions. When writing encounters, a general breakdown can be used: Scope: NPCs can be broken down into Barkers (barks only, 1-liners for townsfolk), Minor Dlg (1-15 Nodes), Moderate (15-25 Nodes), Major (25+ Nodes), Companion NPCs (500+). Setting up scope charts for NPCs can be valuable for designers - same when applied to quest complexity, area complexity and so on. That said, while it can be helpful to break down different categories of NPCs into "node counts,” I I usually don't like to do this, as a character can surprise you - some major characters may favor brevity, or a merchant may have some insight on the gold trade that grows if a dwarf is involved in the conversation. Follow the muse! (Well, as long as she’s not got a knife in her hand.)
DIALOGUE INTERFACE AESTHETICS... ...Teaching the Player to Talk to Your Game.
SAVE THE PLAYER TIME AND YOUR TIME: THE INTRODUCTION I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS... Often, the dialogue interface will tell the player who is speaking - use this functionality, and realize that while it may seem more "natural" to have every NPC introduce themselves, players don't miss it, and it also prevents you from having to "track" when the NPC actually introduced themselves in the dialogue, which is largely a waste of time. No one will notice, care, and many work hours will be set free.
...I ONLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME. Next? Recognize why people are talking to the character, and help them with that from the very first node. If the NPC is designed to provide a quest, have him hint about the problem in the very first node, prompting the player to ask about it. If the NPC is a merchant, make sure they have access to the store from the very first node. Other examples: Priest = Easy access to healing. Quest Giver = Hey, let the player have the chance to solve it early and cash it in right at the outset (bad example, but, “oh, you already have 10 wolf hides? Awesome!”)2 Treat merchants, trainers, healers and more like UX, where you want access to their services quickly without the dialogue getting in the way.
IF EVERY NPC IS A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE, NO ONE IS… ...and arguably, you’ll want to Fireball the lot of them. Not everyone has to be a special snowflake. In fact, this can cause a problem where even minor NPCs have to be dialogue-mined for potential obsessive compulsive RPGers - sometimes a merchant should just be a merchant (and his stock can often tell a better story than he can). How to identify special snowflakes, though? That’s a challenge. Some games use the exclamation mark or other icons. In RPGs you can do that, but you can also do it through the character names themselves. My personal method is to break "common" NPCs and "special" NPCs into a name formatting set-up. For example:
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And possibly use this opportunity to give the player a new quest or dramatic jolt: “...I certainly hope the Wolf gods don’t take umbrage at the killing of their spirit animals and send assassins from the Council of Fangs that’s why I didn’t want to collect the pelts myself.”
Important NPCs get a full name and title. (Captain Reynolds) While “common” NPCs get a generic handle. (Guard) You want the player to know who’s important and who’s not - it's rough when a game gives a unique name to a hundred people, because you're not sure who the "important" folks are, and often, the commonplace characters have to share a generic dialogue. For other games, you can get trickier and say: Important NPCs get a full name (Malcolm Reynolds)... ...but any other NPC may only get their first name, only their last name, or an abbreviation (M. Reynolds, or Reynolds). This simplification should be consistent. Rules like this can subconsciously train a player to spot who the movers and shakers are. “Other things to watch out for? Long speeches before a boss fight where you can't save after the conversation. Don't do this, I beg you - if they have to reload, they may come after you with torches and pitchforks…. that is, if Quality Assurance doesn’t have your head on a pike already.” -
Chef Chris
HOW TO ORDER RESPONSES DIALOGUE MECHANICS FIRST Response placement obviously depends on the type of game and the final layout of the interface. As an example, in a time-sensitive espionage game where every response choice is timed, you want to present the choice of the node as early as possible in the node so the player can reflect on it before the timer elapses. Motivation and context should appear ASAP in the node. Quick bad example: (Context and question at end.) Marcus is my father. He left for the mountains, where he hunts bears. Bears are cool. Brown Bears. Black Bears. Gummi Bears. There are a lot of bears in the mountains. Before he kills any more bears that I like, can you go stop him? Accept Reject Quick better (but still bad) example: (Context and question first, then filler added to show why the NPC cares.) I need you to stop my father before he slaughters any more bears. He hunts them in the mountains. I feel the bear community should be preserved, and he has way too many of their hides and blood on his hands already. Accept Reject In this instance, you also want to keep the responses short and quick as well, since the player will be reading them last.
BE CONSISTENT Player responses need a consistent presentation. It can be simple: Positive Response Neutral Response Exposition Questions Hostile/Attack Goodbye Or depending on the mechanics of your game, it can be more complex:
Goody Two-Shoes Response Robin Hood Good Response Cold Neutral Response Cunning Evil Response Psychopathic Evil Response (can sometimes be the same as Hostile) Hostile/Attack Goodbye Note that metrics seem to suggest most players favor the Goody Two-Shoes response in the first playthrough a title, but if you’re giving the player the option to play a certain way, then you must use the range in dialogue as well. Some things to watch out for: -
Lazy Evil: “Lazy evil” responses are ones that demand more money or threaten to kill the NPC. While these are easy to do, after a while, they aren’t interesting (especially if money and currency aren’t balanced in a game). Worse, they often don’t allow more exploration along the story arc or quest arc the NPC is providing. Play with evil mechanics - have the player blackmail an NPC, get a % in their store, force the NPC to provide their son/daughter as a squire or craftsman, or simply say, “you owe me a favor” and allow the player to cash out at a later date.
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Punishing the Evil: Evil is evil. But if you’re allowing the player to play as an evil character (which is often the case in RPGs), then it’s unfair to cut them off from content b/c of their attitude - they should always have access to the same level of content as a more straight-laced player, and that content should feel measurably different (the crux of an RPG).
LET THE RESPONSES TELL THE STORY, TOO This is what I call the “Travis Stout” rule. Sometimes it’s efficient to let the player responses tell the rest of the story on a dialogue screen. For example: “Please! Please help me, my son was taken by wolves while we were on the road!” Accept Refuse But you can add more to this, and use the player text to increase the context of the situation both for the NPC and the player: “Please! Please help me, my son was taken by wolves while we were on the road!” By “road,” you mean the Great North Road, right? [Perception =< Average and !Priest] Are you all right? Were you wounded?
[Perception > Average or Priest] Your clothes bear no scratches or blood. Why are you unharmed? And here you stand, begging in the streets for aid? Have you sought the help of others? Where are the militia? I have no time for an old man who won’t fight for his son’s life. Your purse looks to be too light on Frags to help me. 1st response broadens the world, 2nd response adds exposition that leads to suspicion, 3rd, 4th, and 5th response adds suspicion to the situation, 6th response highlights the man’s age, and the 7th highlights his poverty. All of these responses, even better, compel the player to read through the entire list to see what else can be discerned from the situation. It works much better than: “Please - my son was taken while we traveling the Great North Road, and while I escaped unharmed, the militia have refused to help. I am a poor man, but I need your help!” Accept Refuse
INSTA-WIN RESPONSES Overfall takes the best route with Trait and Skill usage, and uses them to give more context to an encounter, not simply making them the best solution. As mentioned previously, when a player is trained that choosing a Skill or Trait option allows them to “win” the conversation, you often rob an encounter of depth and a chance for role-playing.
INSTA-MORALITY RESPONSES The same thing can occur with insta-morality responses ( [Evil] I hate you because I am evil. [+1 Evil Advance to System Unlock] , [Good] I am well-disposed to you because I am good. [+1 Good Advance to System Unlock] ). When morality is channeled into the systematic development of a character, it can be a basis for a system, but when it’s the only way a player can gain power (say, by being completely evil or by being completely good), a lot of the nuance of an encounter can be lost by allowing no middle ground. A system should reward you for interacting with it in all respects, not just in a polarizing direction. Also, clearly broadcasted morality choices in such a system can also ruin role-playing. Evil characters that want to advance as evil - they simply look for the right tag and click on it to “win” their advancement points, sometimes without even caring what they are deciding to do. In these instances, consider ways of including multiple evil options to allow for some means of role-playing thought and decision-making.
DON’T LOCK THE PLAYER IN A DIALOGUE CAGE Next, be polite and take the extra effort to allow players to back out of a conversation whenever they want, if possible by seeing farewells and rejections at key moments. Sometimes these forced goodbyes won't make
sense, granted, and sometimes you want an organic feel to the conversation that doesn't allow folks to back out... but at other times, you may want to grant the player a natural way to excuse themselves from the conversation (just be careful to watch your quest scripting accordingly).
ON THE ASSIGNING OF QUESTS Don’t fall in the trap of feeling you always have to assign quests. Often, it's better to make the player aware of something an NPC needs, or a problem that exists, then let the PC return when it's solved - not every NPC in the world should be a beggar. Instead, having the player interpret a problem on their own, solve it, then return and claim a reward is a great way to empower player agency.
RACE AND CLASS Be aware of the classes and races in your game and their historical backgrounds - and how they should respond in conversations. When possible a narrative designer should make a “dialogue trigger checklist” for each class and race for consistency. Some examples of what to look for: Class Defines Attitude: Priests and Paladins should respond when religion is referenced, a religion-based quest is given, or if they are offered a reward (which they may refuse or ask it be donated). Race Defines Context: This next bit is what I call the “dark elf rule.” If your fantasy world has dark elves, and they are rare and hated and are almost never seen aboveground, but the PC chooses to play a dark elf, then NPCs should react to that - and the PC should also have new dialogue options if they ever encounter a dark elf NPC in the wild as well because it should be unusual for them as well. The rule is designed to maintain world consistency. The quick and fast rule is I often have same-race dialogues should have some additional flavor and responses a gnome may have more to say to a gnome, an elf to an elf - and also an elf to an orc, and so on and so forth. Hot Topics: Some conversation topics may be of special interest to a particular race or class. In Overfall, let’s take elves as an example:
Based on the list above, topics and quests related to charms/illusion magic, and beauty and deformity are things elves should react to and may spawn encounters and encounter resolution involving these topics. For example:
An elf PC may recognize when an illusion is being used and call it out… An elf NPC who has been disfigured/tortured asks the PC for revenge or a charm to cloak the disfigurement. An elf NPC may react negatively/denounce an ugly or brutish PC… ...and be polite and favor an attractive one. Keep these “hot topics” on your mental dialogue checklist (or actual checklist) while you’re writing, and think back on them when you’re stuck or when you’re doing your editing pass. Nemesis Races: The “hot topic” rule applies to racial hatreds, too. In Overfall, this racial hatred is clearly laid with designated enemies - the Elves vs. the Hollows, Orcs vs. the Forsaken, and Dwarves vs. Goblins. Encounters with diametrically opposed races should convey the hostility (“We don’t want help from the likes of you.” “We would never expect mercy from Goblins - attack!”) and it will be a missed opportunity if they don’t. System Abilities that Affect Narrative: A number of system-based responses can bleed into character interactions. This can include perks, skills, feats, what have you - a simple example: if your Huntsman Character specifically choose a +30% to hit giants feat, then dialogue responses with giants may want to refer to that feat.
SLANG, WHEN TO USE IT... Slang/jargon/profanity can really help drive a game theme home and support the ambiance of a world - in Overfall, for example, sailing metaphors and island-based slang/expressions are very much in keeping with the world - use them to their fullest. Another way to approach slang and jargon is to examine common expressions in the real world and imagine how they would be referenced in the game itself. For example, in Overfall, there's a number of pillars in the game - one is the ceaseless attack by the ruthless Vorn, and the other is the hunt for the Citadel (which is hidden). Use these to your advantage whenever possible, and even simple conversations can remind the player of what threatens them and what their goal in the game is. "I'd sooner let a Vorn through the gate, than..." "Does the blood of a Vorn run through your veins? The atrocities you’ve committed..." Both emphasize ruthlessness and cruelty of major adversaries. "As blessed as the Hollows..." A curse, the Hollows were tribes cursed b/c they wouldn't worship the Everking. Can be expanded to… "An Everking's kindness/favor,"
...meaning no kindness/favor at all. "As far back as a portal collapse..."/"When Orcs wore the crown..." A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. "I won't lie to you, this mission will be as easy as walking to the Citadel." Emphasizes difficulty of overall game task.
...AND WHEN NOT TO USE IT. It’s also important to recognize your word choice in your game - and if the words would even exist in the world you’re writing for. Often, it's easy to fall back on real-world metaphors and expressions without realizing what using them in conversation means for your world. Some examples: "Thank God." Questions to ask: Does your world have the concept of a God? And does it have only one god? Overfall : In Overfall , the emphasis of worship is the Everking… and there is not even a God in Dys. A better expression may be “The Everking be blessed,” “Bless the Everking.” "Go to hell." Does your world have a hell? If it does, does it only have one hell? Overfall : No one knows if there is a hell at all. "Penny for your thoughts." or "He was penniless." Ask - do pennies exist as currency in your game? Have they ever? Overfall : The currency is actually “Frags,” which may give rise to similar expressions such “Frag for a thought.”
"It was a Herculean task."
Wait a minute… did Hercules exist in your world? Because if you use this expression in a fantasy game, there’s the implication he did.
Overfall : No Hercules, and arguably, a lot of Greek mythological references would potentially be absent as well.
“One of the examples of when to be careful of word choice came from the Star Wars expanded universe - where one vessel bore the name Katana . This seemingly innocuous naming choice has huge ramifications. It implies that, yes, katanas exist in Star Wars, and the reference is so Earth-specific, that it raises questions about the genre itself. Don't get me wrong, it's a cool name for a ship - but now, is this is a fantasy or not, and which came first - feudal Japan or the Sith Empire?” -
Chef Chris
REWARD IS ITS OWN REWARD Overfall plays it smart with loot rewards - by keeping the text mentions of them vague. Not only is it a rogue-like game where many different kinds of random loot can be awarded, specifically calling out a value or item in text can cause problems rather if you need to iterate the text. In previous prose games, there were stages of speccing out rewards. At Black Isle, for example: [Take Gold] ...is much better than… [Take 300 Gold] ...which may not survive a balance pass. Or, suppose an NPC gives you a magic ring. There’s ways you can describe it, including my preferred method: Here.. this belonged to my mother. I want you to have it as a token of my thanks.
But the more specific you get, the bigger the danger of the item changing and the text along with it: This ring of invisibility belonged to my mother. I want you to have it - hey, where did you go? Text like this can work for more formal games you may play through once (or if you’re 100% certain the line or loot won’t change), but even then, it’s often safer to fall back on a generic description to handle the loot. For Overfall , unless it’s important to the story, don’t feel the need to mention in the text what kind of reward the player has received, or that they have received a reward at all. The game itself will tell the player of any changes in resources or reputation.
WRITING FOR A PROCEDURAL GAME RESPECT THE GRIND Rogue-like games require different writing conventions than other games - largely because a player is likely to see any encounter you write not once, twice, but maybe a dozen or a hundred times. This is a challenge because sometimes if you make an encounter too unique, it can stand out like a sore thumb and actually make a player weary to play it ("Not this encounter again"). Worse, the more unique it is, the more painful the encounter can be to wade through in subsequent playthroughs. The way to avoid this if you still want to do unique encounters: -
Allow an immediate escape (Set Sail). Allow an immediate alternative that takes the encounter in a completely different direction rather than presenting the same series of nodes/pacing the player saw before. Add additional randomness to outcomes within the encounter to spice it up, especially with the best loot. If you really want to go crazy, find ways to check more variable flags tied to other playthroughs and incorporate into the encounter (“The crazed seer says you’ve been here before, in a time before time”).
LORE SHOULD BE MORE Exposition is exposition. A lore book, or a long-winded speech, while enlightening to the developer (and occasionally to the reader), should have some “meat” to it. The more that lore is simply word vomit makes players turn away from whatever richness your world has in store. Instead, use lore as a game mechanic. Have a lore book spark a quest. Have a journal entry of the last words of a dying man reveal that he buried his family heirloom in a circle of trees - or the guard captain at Alpha Base 1 always slept with a shotgun beneath his bed… and the player that pays attention and goes back to search/look for such areas could find the hidden items they may otherwise have missed.
INVENTORY ITEMS CAN TELL A STORY While Overfall doesn’t have inventory items, inventory items are great ways to communicate lore and story and even culture - not just through item descriptions, but the names of the items themselves. For example, “spears” in a fishing town may all be re-named to “harpoons,” and their version of “gems” are rare fish they’ve caught. In even more complicated set-ups, you can even place such “story items” on corpses, in rooms, and more to tell a story. You can communicate “hey, this is a sniper’s nest” by leaving a rifle, an empty jug, a bedroll, and a pile of food by a window in a room that looks out over the street below. In some titles, by giving inventory items names (“Christine’s Sniper Rifle”) and then leaving a path of these items throughout an area, a player can trace the NPC’s route and get to know them before they’re encountered. The above can apply to spells, buffs/debuffs (Warchief's Blessing, A Mother's Love, Perfume of Lunacy, Curse of the Crazed Witch etc.), and trinkets, all of which can help shape the world through what’s suggested in the title. Every game can have “Fireball,” but renaming it “Vahn’s Circle of Cremation” may communicate a lot more about the world. There are many other ways to tell a story without words (graffiti, prop and monster placement, posters, sound effects) - look for them to help you out. Many times they’re the best way to go about it.
WRITING FOR THE PLAYER CHOKEPOINTS My rule on chokepoints3 is that they're often necessary to control a dialogue from word explosion, but the important thing is to make sure a player doesn't feel like they've hit a chokepoint. Some common ways this occurs: - Only giving one or two PC responses that mean the same thing in different words. Players will see these over time in a rogue game. - NPCs that seem to “jump” to a chokepoint without a smooth dialogue transition (usually, it also feels like the NPC isn’t really listening to you, which undermines player agency). Here’s how to avoid it:
For anyone not familiar with this concept chokepoints are like dialogue “funnels” that loop a spaghettilike mass of possible responses back to a single point (usually to keep the dialogue from getting too expansive). This is often a decision node (“...so enough about that. Look, are you going to help me or not?”) 3
- Use your systems and game mechanics to make each response meaningful. If two responses lead to the same node, but they affect your Reputation (or morality, or alignment, or some other numeric system), the decision that leads to a chokepoint is still meaningful to the player. (Ideally, you could still write specific reactions to each response below, but these are examples:) I’ll help you, no payment needed. [+1 Good] [Lie] Suuuure, I’ll help you. [+1 Chaotic] [Hollows] Even though your race is at war with mine, I’ll aid you, elf. [Maybe Rep +2 because it’s a nemesis race doing something positive.] The responses above could all lead to: “Thank the Everking… I had almost lost hope until you came along and showed me kindness.”
RESPONSE TRICKERY (THE BAIT AND SWITCH) In the past, I've made errors in dialogues where what seemed to be a goodbye node actually leads to more conversation. Be careful with this - players should be able to trust whatever "dialogue choice interface" you've chosen. While it’s possible the response can lead to a surprising result, try to keep the momentum o f the intention of the response going. If the player really wants to say goodbye/get out of an encounter, forcing them onto a quest or through several more layers of dialogue may not be the best option. In Overfall, due to permadeath and randomness, it is possible to see some surprising outcomes - for example, getting ambushed when you want to Set Sail. Instances like these are fine and in keeping with the genre, as they are more systematic than a narrative decision - and they are not blocking the player’s desire to leave the island, for example, they are adding a layer of challenge to the desire to leave without taking the player in a completely new direction.
REWARD ENGAGEMENT... ...if dialogue is a big part of your game, treat dialogues like challenges and mini-dungeons to explore, where new quests, new traits, and players drawing logical conclusions between two characters gets a reward even if no explicit quest is present, encourages people to pay attention in dialogue.
...BUT DON'T MANDATE IT. Players don't want to be subjected to your story. Some may never read a word, or even care. That's fine - don't punish them for playing the game they want to play it. I don't care if people click through something I've written I just appreciate the ones that take their time (and I try and reward them for engaging as a result).
THE LAST WORD Fittingly enough, to close this document - a bit about “having the last word.” “Often, while writing NPCs, it can be tempting for an NPC to deliver the last barb, insult, slam, or one-up the player. Sometimes this is okay. Generally, it's not.
I try to abide by the rule that the player is the badass in this world, and if anyone has something clever to say at the end of a conversation - it's the PC. They're the heroes, make them feel that way, especially in conversations.” -
Chef Chris
