Translated from Italian By Gianluca Barci
Dr. Marco Paret NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING NLP and not only: NLP3, Hypnosis and clipboard of Quantum: Course in 32 Lessons
ISBN 978-0-9793997-1-8 NLP International Ltd
Lesson 1: WHAT IS THE NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING? . Have you ever desire to mostly know yourselves and your potentialities? . Learn to effectively use the communication? . Create satisfactory relationship? Exist some techniques that can help you in such route. Here starts our trip in the Communication, in the NLP and in the new subjects. This book is conceived as a series of lessons that will allow you to approach more and more to this new world. This course wants to drive you to know new techniques to improve yourselves and your communication. Good read!
INTRODUCTION TO THE PROGRAMMING
MAGIC
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This guid e has the objective to mak e you know a knowledge that will be able to accompany you forever , a personal experience to strengthen the body and the mind. Each of us deserves the best; and it is import ant that we make some choices in such sense. The extraordinary thing is that we can choose among to live really or simply to exist letting us bring from the events. The disciplines introduced here were born for helping you to become you the person that you would have wanted to be, to reach your result s, and to understand the more depth yours yourselves! We will begin with the NLP, a discipline that helps to model the excellence, but in the course we will also mention to: ∙ The NLP3, an evolution containing various new paradigms that widens the NLP model and it makes effortless the learning of it. ∙ Le quantum techniques (from us intro duced with the methodology proposed in our course "Quantum Extreme ®"). These represent the updating to the actual technology of the evolution about mind disciplines initiated with the NLP and they allow to develop more depth prospective. "What i am today is what I have learned, not of what is my potential " (Virginia Satir)
THE STATES OF EXCELLENCE Have you ever happened to be sure of yourselves, up to the point of being happy because you are feeling the masters of your life, craftsmen of the success situations that you create around you? This one is a state of excellence, created by yourselves, even if you don't know how yet . Our school has developed specific methodologies to be able to discover the lay-out behind this experience, and to be able to recreate it. It is possible to create an engineering of the emotional states, in way to be able to use in every moment the most opportune state. The NLP has been one among the first disciplines to try to give the methodologies so that a process of stupefacient growth of your possibility it is realiz ed, to put you in a new and more effective way in front of situations of daily life. They are all things that you already possess. To strengthen the courage and the will to find the trust in yours internal feeling and being, and to learn to follow it. Way of living "really" it can be, in such perspective, a choice and not a case. There is an elevated number of people that allows to race madly the ir own brain, spending a lot of time to have experiences they would prefer to avoid. It is necessary to understand that the brain becomes a "room" so flood of "chatter" that the solutions have difficulty to enter for deficiency of space. Surely is profit to think about the problems to reso lve them, but in the meantime als o is profit to begin to form some alternative strategies to succeed in avoiding that they are reformed. "The difficulties are the fire that form our character" (Anthony Robbins) The preceding sentence it is able to mean that every time we are forehead to a problem, we can individualize the most effective strategy to face the situation. Those that before we called "difficulties" now become opportunities to model us, improve us, an invitation to act! In every moment of difficulty let's set us therefore the question: how this moment could help me to mostly grow? This question is the road to begin to use new ways of attitude and to learn to interact better with our emotions . How much are we masters of our thinking? A lot of people are imprisoned by their own brain as if they were chained to the last seat of the "Bus", with somebody else to the steering wheel. But who is this somebody else? They are our reactions and unconscious programs. We must drive our "personal Bus ". These lessons want to help to give you some indications. If we don't give some
indication we take the hazard that the bus or will travel at random alone or other people will find the way to direct it. The NLP and the other disciplines from us introduced (as the NLP is only the first gateway for a true evolution of our way to be) they are an unique opportunity to learn to use the brain in a functional way , because the neurolinguistic planning is not anything else than an educational trial, while the other disciplines can open the tract to the contact with that we realize to be a "natural state." Another interesting metaphor is the following: imagine that our brain is a car to which miss an interrupter with the position of power off. If we don’t order something to do it will continue to turn and turn and in the end it will be annoyed!!!!! How many of you are obsessed from some thought or situations that you would resolve? Tell yourselves: "I would succeed in sending it away from the head." Reflect on the extraordinary capacity that you have had in putting it! Our point of view is that our brain is something phenomenal, it succeeds in making stupefacient things and the thick problem is that it cannot learn but it learns well and too much in hurry. For example a single traumatic event risks to condition us for years; in other words a single experience can leave an indelible trace. But in rea lity we are all abl e to go over and to be free from the se automatic conditionings: our capacities can be educated to go toward a state that causes us satisfactions. The disciplines on which this course is based are the result of the most recent searches on the human mind, and they can bring you profits elements to go beyond the actual moment... NEEDS AND WHERE TO FIND THE SUITABLE RESOURCES If we poll various people we discover that the diffused needs are: . Necessity to know better themselves and to improve the relationship with themselves . Necessity to open to the others and to be understood . Will of personal security
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. Will of positivism . Will of unfreeze themselves . Will of self-esteem .Etc... It is important to realize that all is necessary to satisfy these needs and being people of success is INSIDE OF US. What we are saying here is the NLP 3 and the other disciplines are the opportunities to acquire the correct methodologies to bring everything out.
There is only a person can decide to begin the road: you! If you reflect on the sentence that "the thought is the ancestor of the action" you will reach the pleasant conclusion, that. ........ the quality of your life depends exclusively on you! "Life could be an audacious adventure or nothing!!!!!!!"(Helen Keller) EXPERIENCIAL EXERCISE NR. 1 - RECOVERY RESOURCES Think to once in which you have been excellent. Try to remember how you felt the body, how you breathed, how you saw the things, what you told yourselves. These are elements that can be useful also to build feelings of excellence in the present. Our way to feel is done by what we tell us, what we feel, what we think by our senses. Try to recover some of these elements; for instance how you breathed, or what you told yourselves and to project them in the actual situation; then you will try to breathe as far, look at the thi ngs as far etc. .. as soo n as your recovery will improve and you will become able to easily evoke states of excellence inside of you!
Lesson 2 – WHAT IS THE NLP? The NLP (and its developments represented by the methodology of the NLP3), is a technique to develop the human potentialities. We could begin giving a technical explanation of the neurolinguistic planning; first is opportune to say that the NLP is born as a need to arrange our thought, to discover and optimize the strategies that we use to work, know, love. .......... live! If we become conscious of our behavioural models and our unconscious programs, we are also in condition to modify them as we desire. The native NLP furnishes some methods that unhide you the "how" of transformation. "The problem is not the problem but the way in which we compare to it!" Talking about NLP is just like talking about creativity. .......... learn a new way to face life in all of its facets, become protagonists and craftsmen of it! The it initials give the impression of something cold and technician, instead these 3 simple letters give a meaning sturdiness to our existence that can become a to follow it of conquests, successes , authentic emotions and above all it gives us the opportunity to live without the necessity to identify ourse lves with all the things are out of us, it doesn't belong us. What we propose you therefore is a driven trip inside ourselves, to exploit indeed and at the most the potential that we possess. Living with joy, of creativity, experiences and know ledges. The NLP is enable in Italy from the beginning of the 80’s, i has developed models and operations used in the firms, in the schools, in the centres of training and moreover also used by the therapists. Actual updating Of the NLP Obviously our school also holds you informed to the news. In the last years is had a growth of new models and para digms , that induce to talk about NLP3 that it means a constantly and evolving approach over the precursors and in the search of new horizons. Among the news, close to the approach of NLP3 also places the quantum approach with revolutionary immediate technologies that develop " neuronal coherence " to increase the cerebral velocity and power and the mental energy. The quantum approach sees the mind as a quantum computer able to play more operations simultaneously. Our institute is internationally recognized as one of those that facilitate such rush. To the teaching of the NLP we conjugate therefore also that of such new disciplines.
What does NLP mean? It is literally for neurolinguistic programming. Decomposing the name we can individualize the three principal components of it.
. Neuro, because the filtered experience is elaborated by our nervous system through all the five senses. .Linguistic, or answer to the received stimulus or internally appeared , for which the relationship happens with the outside in oral way and not record. .Programming or rather mental job that happens in the individual when it receives an info. Is evident that perceiving the world through the five senses, every person perceives and elaborate the things in different way from another. Once gotten all the information it is realized an in-house trial of mental elaboration that is typeset by the mental representations of what has been perceived. These mental representations will influence values and convictions that will bait an in-house state structured by emotions and feelings that still form the mental programs (metaprograms) or rather strategies of the people in the form of mental representations. Cause of this in-house job each of us responds to the stimulus with a proper language that can be of two types: verbal and not verbal. The language not record being immediate, unconscious, automatic and symbolic has a lot of importance and it often represents the road to come to an out-of-pocket and true communication. "The secret to arrive to a lifetime succeeded is inside of you!" ~
ATTITUDES TO BE INTERESTED IN THE NLP In the moment in which we draw us near to the NLP it is necessary to be inclined from a strong desire of share to the lifetime and curiosity toward the exploration of the new one, having the will to venture in something unexplored to reach and to live our dreams. How many of you have some projects and are jammed from the fear of the failure not to succeed thinking about thefirst difficulti es that meet? This attit ude risks to be selfdefeating. ............ We areallthe difficulty that could we must overcome. You must focus yourselves on the result you want to get and devote all the energy that you can expand to your projects. So many people think that the NLP is simply a whole techniques, instead is the study and the modelling of the success strategies, animated by a winning positive thought of people have reached great finishing lines in all the circles of their lifetime. WE ARE MORE GREAT THAN WE THINK ABOUT BEING!!!!!!!!!!
An example of this greatness has been the American psychiatrist Milton Erickson that, despite his handicap, succeeded to strengthen the little able-bodied sensibility to have great capacity of contact with the others, arriving to be the best communicator of his time, although he had also difficulty in speaking. He believed in life, in love, seen by him as a great value that unite d to passion and positivity they are the maxim um conditions to learn in the best way the NLP. The minds that work well are those that produce well visible satisfactory results also to the others!!!!!! Milton Erickson was a hymn to life! To be able to overcome his difficulty he was forehead to a challenge, and the result of his challenge is modelled as neurolinguistic planning. In fact the first NLP is born above all from the understanding conducted by a study group near the university of Santa Cruz (California) on the strategies used by many communicators of success and the modelling of M. Erickson has a fundamental role in this development. Are we that, been born and being grown in a culture tha t considers the lifetime a "valley of tears", we think that when something pleasant happens to us is worth of the fortune. The flat lifetime, without emotions or events to be remembered is considered that normal and with this diffused conviction it becomes logic that the existence spends in this "flat ", because the brain is a machine to learn and energy follows the thoughts. Or alternatively we let us conduct between the euphoria and the sadness. In true we are the masters of our way to think. Put the positive and exciting thoughts if you want to have a cheerful and exciting life! Put adverse thoughts in your head and you will have a life full of troubles and complaints; The NLP is also an attitude: a way to live positive, optimistic, winning. ........ It learns to transform what prevent us from progressing, turning the difficulties into opportunity to advance .It helps to focus on the objectives and to find the right way to reach them, to increase the self-esteem turning in positive the internal images and the feelings. It unfolds in all of its forcibleness the potential that is in each of us but that we often ignore. It helps to improve our relationship with the other because it put us under the conditions to observe better and to deeply understand our interlocutor. Born in the 70’s in the U.S.A. it makes available for us a series of success methodologies to reach our objectives in all those areas in which the communication is a must: sentimental; professional; sale; harmony in family etc. etc. In the following years have been created further models going to the new direction of the NLP 3.
Lesson 3 - INSTANT RAPPORT "The capacity to live magic relationships starts and ends in you" (W.W.Dyer) Go on our wonderfully trip in the human potentialities and, before fully enter in the NLP we land to the new technology of the "instant rapport ". The rapport is the process in which we establish and keep a good interpersonal relationship of mutual trust and engagement. In the meantime is a delicate and responsible moment of consideration. Every day we are in situations in which we establish rapport with whom surrounds us. We call "Instant Rapport" a technique that picks up methodologies and useful approaches to create such mental state. The Instant Rapport also traces the causes for which the rapport sometimes cannot be easy: beliefs and attitudes limitative. The applications of the "Instant Rapport" are also therapeutic, in how much many problems draw from problems in relationship. In some cases the rapport spontaneously happens, that tuning is created, that feelings almost mysterious .The studies, conducted on a series of video recordings, have shown that some unconscious mechanisms are enabled that have created (to subliminal level) that immediate rapport. For example, surely happened to you to know a person and, without knowing nothing about her, you have made averments of the type: "To cutaneous level she’s likeable" or "even if I know her from a little I am well there." This happens when the rapport is spontaneously baited and therefore we will be in front of two people that unconsciously will play the same movements of the body, same way of gesture, same gait during a trek, that in NLP takes the name of " reflection", technique that is used when we want to create the rapport. The reflection is one of the most simple techniques and in the meantime the point of departure to put ourselves on the same frequency of our interlocutor and enter in a positive relationship with him. Not all are open in mind or in the character to immediately accept to enter in tuning with a stranger, this, maybe, for a bad past experiences, of states of mind of the moment and sometimes occur long times to accept a serene dialogue with another person. We can decide then to accelerate these times using the technique of the reflection and to create an empathic-positive rapport. " it is important to enter in the world of the other, if we want to bring him in ours!!!!!!!!!" When that «special agreement» establishes between two person, the one will be unconsciously and easily brought to answer in a positive way to the stimulus of the other. Through the reflection we postpone to the interlocutor, with our attitude, the same behaviour that belongs to his model of the world. It becomes one the mirror of the other, for instance: the legs crossed during a conversation; the fingers of the hands woven among themselves, until to reach the tone of voice and the breathing that is one of the powerful reflection, thinking about the infant that
falls asleep through the arms of the mother because her breath reassure him is enough. All of this will be perceived by the unconscious of our interlocutor as similarity, affinity. It is extraordinary as the "walls of coldness" can be dejected if it is learned to listen, to observe and to feel the other. To mirror means to enter in tuning with respect and gracefulness without falling in the intrusiveness or to bother. This technique has the advantage to create rapport, without necessarily knowing the lived of the individual nor to share it. The mastery of this ability will be able, for example, positively engrave on a clinical interview, on a scholastic interrogation, a sale or a simpletodiscussion. Some examples of elements to be mirrored are: The posture: rigid or relaxed? The bod y is in before or in behind? How the hands, the arms and the legs are positioned? Breathing: thoracic or abdominal? The rhythm is high-speed, slow or calm? What intensity has ? (deep or light?) Movements: What is the gesture? How does he hold the hands? How does he move the head? ( for instance: does he nod while he is speaking?) The way of speak: low or ringing tone? What rhythm of voice does he have? Slang. What velocity has? In the case is wanted to establish a long-term rapport it will need to individualize the important things for a person or rather his values. It is important to remember a thing: avoid to face discussion that can bring divergences of estimations before having established a good rapport, otherwise the breakdown of the rapport will be foregone. An other important thing is that, in the moment in which the conversation takes over, and therefore the oral communication, needs to eliminate the adverse words or better said negations, because we risk to send the contrary message to that we would(see also the explanation in the communication of rapport paragraph). This both if with a usual conversation that during sessions of therapy. ~Example of sentence to be avoided: “I don't want to lose you!” In fact our brain will decode the message as "I want to lose you!” ~Once established the rapport with the CNV it is necessary to be careful about our language that normally is a lot confusional, so that to refine it and make it congruent to what we want to pass on. ~A following level also consists in trying to understand what is the most proper interior change that can help us to maintain the rapport. In fact, to a knowledge of the exterior signals it is essential adding a full information of the own inside reality, to made the acquisition easier.
Lesson 4 - OBSERVE If I want to effectively communicate I first have to understand what is the map of the reality that belongs to my interlocutor: to understand the other is preferable to meet him on his field. The person will offer me a noteworthy series of information, almost entirely unconsciously. He will do through the words but above all throu gh the tone, the stamp and the volume of the voice and through the components not records (gestures, posture, skin colour etc.). The first thing to do therefore is to learn to observe. To pick up and to decode the information, therefore to build his own map, the man uses his five senses: he looks around, he observes, he creates some images, he listens the discourses, sounds and bruits, he touches the things, he warns some feelings inside, he feels perfumes and odours, he tastes some flavour. Sight, heard, touch, taste and sense of smell are our pixels of contact with the outside, the gates of perception as Huxley defines them: they serve for receiving the innumerable signals from the outside but they also serve for the elaboration of our own inner experience and in a second moment to express it. The NLP has discovered the narrow bond among the modality of harvest and the elaboration of senses, Lankton writes <> we translate it in internal representations that alternatively condition our attitude…. every time that a human being interacts with the world, he does it through the sensory representations. Although everyone utilize the whole modalities to disposition, there will be a channel that the person are using in preferential way according to how much required by the context (auditory channel for the listening of a concert, for example). Instead, when we think or re-elaborate information, we will have the tendency to prefer one of these channels, without take in consideration the object of ours actions or of our thoughts. We possess therefore a representational preferential (or primary) system. To individualize and to manage the representational systems allows to: -Tune in with the interlocutor and therefore make more effective the communication, knowingly using his representational system. -Individualize the performance strategies that the person uses in the different situations (this is the process of elaboration of his behaviour through an orderly sequence of representations) to dub acting models or to improve the interaction with the person. The representational systems are three: ~Visual External: observation of reality internal: visualization, creation of internal images
~Auditory External: listening of sounds and noises internal: interior sounds and conversations are created ~ Kinesthetic External: tactile feelings internal: remembered feelings, emotions, relationship with own body In the Kinesthetic also the taste and the sense of smell come amalgamated. It is been said that every person uses a primary channel. Then uses in smaller measure a second channel while the third is mainly maintaining unused. Exist many elements that manifest the used representational systems: the movements of the hands, the posture of the body and the muscular tone, the actions of the eyes, the breathing, the characteristics of the voice, the movements of the skull. Then the person often touches directly the organs of sense correspondents to the system. Also the language, the choice of the words, is an important source that furnishes clear indications. All these expressions are correlated to the thought processes; in the next lessons we will trace them in detail.
Lesson 5 – VISUAL
SYSTEM
The following characteristic are typical of the visual types or of the people that access the visual channel: Posture of the body and muscular tone erect posture (head among the clouds). The shoulders have lifted and the neck stretched out. Muscular tension in the shoulders, in the neck and often in the belly. Position of the head Aloft. Gesticulation Wide movements and distant from the body (centrifugal gesticulation) and usually turned upward. The person can touch the eyes saying sentences like “ I have noticed your disappointment” or rub the eyes and the back of the nose pronouncing sentences as “ do me some to see”. Ocular movements The eyes move upward. If they are moving toward left, the person is displaying a known image or an experience lived in the past (visual remembered). If they are moving toward right, is building a mental image (visual built). Characteristics of the voice Tall tone, nasal and/or striven. Acute timbre. High-speed rhythm of the discourse. Sudden bursts of words. Type of breathing Tall (thoracic) and few deep, of breast. Brief standstills. Colourful of the skin Pallor
Lesson 6 - AUDITORY SYSTEM Posture of the body and m uscular tone Trend to bring the body on the side, while the shoulders go back, even though a little arched. Muscular tension light and almost uniform. Rhythmic movements Position of the head Movements of the skull in horizontal way. Gesticulation Horizontal arms movements. Position "of the telephone" (head tilted on a side). Sometimes is possible a circular movement of the finger inside the ear, to drum or to nibble the fingers, to crack ones tongue, to hum or to whistle. To doll up the chin or bring the hands in contact with the area of the mouth, of the nose and of the jaws points out a in-house dialogue. Ocular movements Horizontally on the left it means that the person is "listening" remembered sounds. Horizontally to the right is listening the created ones, is thinking about the things and how to say them . To the left in low, the person is talking to the self, is carrying forward an internal dialogue. Characteristics of the voice Medium tone, nor tall even low. Way of speak uniform, on occasion rhythmic. Words well enunciated. Clear timbre, ringing. Musicality, harmony. Type of breathing Uniform breathing to abdominal level or with the whole chest. The expiration some prolonged indicates interior dialogue.
Lesson 7 – KINESTETHIC SYSTEM The kinestethic system is related to the emotions. The analysis of this system completes the analysis of the different sensory types. Posture of the body and m uscular tone Curved shoulders and low head. General relaxation of the muscles. If the feelings are particularly intense there will be also a very marked abdominal breathing, accompanied by expressive gestures. When the channel is turned to the outside (tactile / motor) the shoulders will be more open . Position of the head In low Gesticulation Centripetal and abridged. Palms turned upward. Folded up and relaxed arms. The hands have the tendency to stand on the median plan of the body. Ocular movements To the right in low Characteristics of the voice Low tone, deep. Dough like timbre, serious. Slow rhythm with long and frequent recesses. Low volume. Type of breathing Deep and flood, slow, with the low part of the stomach. Colourful of the skin More evident, more intense.
Lesson 8 - MEMORIALS ON REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS AND THE POSSIBLES OPERATIONS Before continuing must be made some accurate statement about the ocular movements. The proposed scheme in fact is always effective exception for a division of the left-handed, for which the relationship between direction and meaning is inverted: so with the movements toward right the individual accesses to the sphere of memory, with the left ones to that of creation of images, of sounds or to the kinestethic feelings. Later this is good to add that it is worthwhile give to ourselves a method to observe all those previously listed characteristics. When we observe a person and we want to individualize what is his prima ry sensory channel is valuable to follow an order: before the movement of the hands, then the language, therefore the ocular movements, trying to coordinate as with the practice the different levels. It might be useful follow a program, so that to acquire with order the different know ledges. Here is the suggestion of a possible route.
1 st day Stop with three different person with which you have a dialogue of at least five minutes and observe the movement of the hands and the arms, individualizing the different gestures and reporting them time after time to the visual sphere, auditory or kinestethic. Try to understand what is the most used sensory channel . 2 nd day Observe the general posture of three different person: which draws it reveals? Then observe the gestures of the hands. What kind of relationship is between this last and the posture? 3 rd day Object of attention can be the voice: what velocity does it have? How is its timbre? and its volume? Does the person make manifold recesses? Here are some useful and specifications about the voice: VOLUME: degree of elevation of voice or the sound: from low to very strong TIMBRE: quality of the sound that allows to distinguish identical sounds sent from different sources(ex. masculine or female voice; metallic timbre, unpleasant, sweet.) RHYTHM: from fluid to very non-constant SPEED': quantity of issued phonemes in a base of time: from extremely rapid to slow.
4 th day The ocular movements. Observe the movements of the eyes upward, to right and to left and every time they are noticed they are identified as visual loggings. Can notice that the employ of these movements, just like the duration, they vary a lot from person to person. The ocular movements can be spontaneous or provoked by questions. 5 th day Same exercise of the previous day. However we will notice the horizontal movements identifying them as auditory loggings. 6 th day Same thing, this time with the movements downhill that must be linked to kinestethic feelings or to internal dialogue.
Therefore the practice will continue putting together all these components and learning to nimbly individualize the sensory channels used by the interlocutors. Then it will be possible pass to analyze the choices of the language, that they also reflect the availment of different systems representational. But this is the subject of the next lesson.
Lesson 9 - PREDICATES Our crop of information on the world, our contact with the realty, as we have seen, it passes through the five senses: sight, heard, touch, taste, olfaction. The language adheres and expresses this world experience of ours. When we speak we unconsciously choose some words that point out what are the available parties of the world, both internal and external, to which we can enter in that specific moment. The predicates are the whole nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs during which the person mirrors to the outside the representational system used. Here is a list of possible examples. Terms and expressions tied up to the gustatory and olfactory channel can be brought to the kinestethic sphere.
VISUAL CHANNEL Verbs: to see, to imagine, to appear, to disappear, to seem, to illuminate, to colour, to blush, to whiten, to glimpse, to perceive, to ogle, to hide, to display, to light up, to focus, to admire, to scrutinize, to look, to clarify, to eclipse. Nouns: sight, vision, view, panorama, eye, glance, look, light, luminosity, obscurity, dark, colour, focusing, dyed, tone, apparition, image, figure, aspect, imagination, impression, appearance, shine, perspective, flash, imagination.
Adjectives: bright, dark, clear, bright, shining, opaque, coloured, shaded, shady, seen, disappeared, admired, admirable, observed, pale, candid, ruled, embellished, shaped, transparent, clear, gilded, dark, shining, rosy, unimaginable. Adverbs and adverbial locutions: clearly, apparently, obscurely, brightly, clearly, evidently, visibly, clearly, candidly, to eye, at first sight. Expressions: To see everything pink, having a point of view, without shade of doubt, a nearsighted approach, a nebulous project, to see equally, to put to fire, to be of black humour, to give a glance, to put black on white, to conduct a grey lifetime to combine of it of all the colours.
AUDITIORY CHANNEL Verbs: to feel, to listen, to hear, to whisper, to speak, to howl, to chat, to hum, to whisper, creak, to gossip, to ask, to ask, to answer, to reply, to poll, to tell, to narrate, to play, to amplify, to eavesdrop, to divulge, to confide, to report. Nouns: hearing, dialogue, listening, ear, sound, bruit, word, talked, music, melody, song, question, responded, babbling, buzz, shout, reporter, rhombus, reproach, cry, stroke, whisper, blarneyed, silence, song, rhythm, tonality, memorial, echo. Adjectives:, repeated, said, asserted, asked, rhythmic, scanned, speaking, melodious, harmonic, discordant, false, silent, noisy, harmonious, dissonant, amplified. Adverbs and adverbial locutions: musically, orally, to words, to ear, silently, noisily.
Expressions: to put the flea in the ear, to make merchant ears, to have voice in chapter, to race voice, to appeal to, keyword, to lend ear to be on the same line of wave. KINESTETHIC CHANNEL Verbs: to touch, to feel, to scratch, to grab, to stroke, to manipulate, to do, to forge, to mould, to use, to mix, to sting, to press, to smooth, to model, to tickle, to press, to bump, to move, to tighten, to heat. Nouns: concreteness, taken, touch, manipulation, corner stresses, roughness, softness, softness, heavines s, shiver, heat, cold, cold, skin, hand, thickness, subject, weight. Adjectives: concrete, soft, often, rough, warm, cold, heavy, light, smooth, velvety, hard, winding, remixed, mixed, kissed, sticky, fresh, smoothed, crinkled, hardened, cooled, heated, palpable. Adverbs and adverbial locutions: concretely, warmly, icily, coldly, imperceptibly, harshly, softly, roughly, tenderly, heavily, slightly, Expressions: to touch with hand, to put on in contact, having the goose flesh, to have a weight on the stomach, having the feet for earth, to have touch, having the rough opportunities, to make the hard one grab the concept.
GUSTATORY CHANNEL Verbs: to embitter, to sweeten, to flavour, to taste, to season, to taste, to eat, to embitter, to fast, quenching, to satiate, to foretaste, to make acid, salivary, to pick... Nouns: sourness, sweetness, taste, scent, delicacy, acidity, sugary, taste, bitterness, language, palate, saliva, saliva, appetite, satiety Adjectives: sweet, bitter, sour, salty, bitter, acid, nauseating, sickening, sweetish, desirable, disgusting, nauseating, creamy, spicy, savoury, appetizing, dainty, fizzy, insipid, rancid, juicy, desirable, sweetened. Adverbs: softly, bitterly, tastily, bitterly, tastily. Expressions: jokes of bad taste, to remain to dry mouth, to have the poisoned tooth, to be of good mouth, not to have hair on the language, a salty account. ~ OLFACTORY CHANNEL Verbs: to smell, to sniff, to perfume, to stink, to smell, to smell, to aromatize. Nouns: nose, smell, odour, perfume, fragrance, sign, exhalations. Adjectives: perfumed, acrid, intoxicating, fragrant, fragrant, speziato, malodorous, aromatic, sweet, vanilla, balmy. Adverbs and adverbial locutions: fragrantly , to nose, softly, to smell, fragrantly.
Expressions: having the smell under the nose, to have good nose, to climb the fly on the nose, to judge to nose, to have smell, stink the trick.
Lesson 10-- The movements of the hands Tell me how you move the hands… and I will tell you who are you Observing the way in whic h people gesticulate with their own hands allows to understand a lot of their character, of their placing way and about the modalities followed in their communicative behaviour. Three typologies can be individualized, everyone connected to a well determined sensory channel.
Indicatory modality Who uses the visual as primary channel uses an indicatory modality. The gestures of the hand will extend therefore to "indicate", so: aimed index or sharp hand. This person has the tendency to furnish accurate instructions having a tone of voice that seems to accuse the others. It often has the propensity to touch his interlocutor with the point of the finger. To linguistic level he will utilize <> : all, every, any, every time. In his answers he often use "no."
Super logic modality This modality is typical of who uses the auditory as primary channel. It has the tendency to put the fingers in circle or to move it with dwarfish movements. His nature brings him to analyse the situations in logic way, to make wide use of the "Cause", he reasons on things, gives a lot of importance to the data and the logic explanations. This modality may be divided in three subtypes: Therefore we will have the political type that uses logic and dialectics to involve and to get something; the gestures will be wide and warm. The judge instead will be cold : for him the logic must be used for showing; its micro movements are pious frequent. Finally the third subtype is the rhetorical one that uses the communication as an element and nothing else.
Propitiatory modality The kinestethic person (potentially or in a particular moment) propitia tory, he lives and expresses his emotionality, looks for a physical contact with the interlocutor, curtains he often begins with a "yes" and uses a lot of terms as "if, only, just, even." Also in this case we have two subtypes: the re-comforting-emphatic that unhide great interest to the emotionality of the other and on that he is inclined to model himself, adjusting himself to the sentiments and sensations of the other. Typical of this modality is to hold the hands in triangle.
In comparison to the emphatic, the second subtype, the expressive, has more wide gestures and holds the palm of the hand opened and turned upward. Its voice is usually expressive, he expresses his own emotionality in involving way, trying to transfer it on the other.
Lesson 11- REFLEX, TRACING AND GUIDE
The notions exposed until here represent the base of the NLP. Learning to observe, as already been said, is the first footstep, necessary to be able to effectively communicate in the future, anything you intend for communicating: to convince, to be understood, to make to purchase, to share, to clarify, to express, to establish a good relationship, having a good impression. When I know what is the mainly channel my interlocutor uses, what is his model of reality, then I will modify my way to express to meet him on the same ground: if my interlocutor mirrors the parameters that we have identified as visual, I will try to accommodate my language using predicates tied up to the visual field. Doing this I put myself in tuning with that person, I create rapport, to use one of the fundamental term of the NLP. Through the rapport I establish a conscious unconscious affinity with the other. Such process is called reflex and it can us e as much the verb al yardsticks as those not verbal: as much we mirror the verbal and not verbal behaviour of a person as we mirror his experience, we send him a whole series of messages in which he can recognize us. Beyond the spoken channels there are therefore those not records: the posture, the gesticulation , the voice, the breath, the micro-movements of the face. It is not essential to mirror all the yardsticks, two of it or three are enough but it is a must doing it in the opening moments of a meeting or an interview, because once established, the rapport is apt to sustain. Rather, if played well, the other person will follow our gestures, in the posture or in the other parameters: in this case we assume a position of guide. How do I realize the reflex in the concrete? It tells you the same word: it is required to behave as if we were the image of the other one reflected in a mirror: if he holds the bent shoulders bend the shoul ders you too; if he lifts the rig ht arm, lift the left ; if he crosses the legs, follow his gesture. Naturally it needs to be careful not to monkey the other: you can wait that he ends the discussion and then, when it is begun to speak , move in his same posture; you can mirror his movements in a withheld way; you can finally appl y a very elegant mea n: the cross synchronization. If the interlocutor has the legs crossed I can cross the arms, and vice versa; if he moves the head I can follow his movement with small (but synchronized) motions of the hand. Different but equally effective is the tracing: in this case if the other one lifts the right arm, I will lift my right too (not more in speculate way) arm; in this case I am not able to understand the internal state of the interlocutor. Once established the correct tuning, the rapport, I will be able to guide the other person in my world and, as I have shown to accept his, he will be inclined to accept the
mine, consciously or unconsciously. If there is not rapport the communication has a little chance to result effective. The best way to do proper these concepts is to put them into practice. For instance try to observe the breathing of a person, therefore trace him (same height, same frequency, same profundity); once done try to modify and notice if the other modifies too. The tracing of the breathing is one of the most powerful means to create rapport. Another good operation is to observe other people: engaged, friends and in general people that entertain a positive relationship will have the tendency to reflect each other to create rapport in natural and spontaneous way.
Lesson 12– Signs of Not Verbal Communication The marks that manifest attention, interest, pleasure Once established the rapport I can go to communicate what it interests me. But in which way can I understand, after having created this tuning, if I am proceeding in correct way? An effective communication should arouse at first attention, then interest, therefore pleasure. I understand if I am getting these gateways if I guide my interlocutor and therefore this one mirrors me in the oral and not attitude. But there are specific unconscious gestures that can reveal me a lot to this intention. Naturally all of these gestures are signs that must be appraised with some prudence, considering them not singly and watching out for the person and the context that I have of forehead. Meanwhile we can say that to each of these levels is linked a part of the face. The attention it can express itself to the height of the eyes (visual attention) or to the ears (for example to hand the ear). The interest is tied up to the sense of olfaction , therefore to the nose. The pleasure is mostly united to the taste, therefore in the area of the mouth, to the lips, the tongue. Often also in the verbal language, the pleasure is expressed with terms that make reference to the sphere of taste. It is necessary to highlight a difference among right part and the left one of the body: the first one points out the self; the second one indicates the outdoor environment. Certainly not only the face, but the whole body manifests the interior thoughts of the person. Here is a list of possible signs: The eyes Scratching or massaging the left eye or the angles means that the person has not understood well the treated matter because who spoke has been a little clear. Instead if he scratches or massages the right one, he doesn't understand the theme of the discourse for motives that are tied up to himself. The area of the mouth Analogical kiss: the person slightly curls the lips, unconsciously imitating the gesture of a kiss: it points out pleasure toward the the me of the dialogue or the person that speaks. A tall pleasure is expressed by the stroke of the lips with the fingers or the back of the hand, or from the linguino: the rota tion of tongue on the lips or its simple exposure. Same value, also with a sexual nuance. Also the nibbling of lips represent a pleasure, with a difference between the upper and lower part: the lower points out a lack affective type in the person that communicates; the same gesture on the superior lip instead denotes a lack of sex: the person or the argument arouses sexual pulses.
The nose To rub with the fingers the point of the nose indicates refusal. Scratch or massage the right side of the nose expresses consequential insecurity from self; the consequential insecurity from the outdoor environment is tied to the left side of the nose instead. Simply touch the point of the nose manifests interest. The necklace To play with the necklace manifests a lack of the type sexual-affective, intense message if the person sucks and/or "nibbles" the pendant of the same necklace. The feet The point of the left foot raising (with earth heel) points out that the interlocutor prefers to listen. Same gesture with the right one means will to take the word. The right foot aimed toward a person expresses interest for that. If the foot is not aimed toward anybody or is aimed toward the gate of the room, the sub ject very probably has a big birthmark to leave. The bust Bust and body in before they manifest interest for the treated argument. The body moved back instead is a way to take the distances from the argument or from the person.
