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Anchors | Collapsing Anchors, 3 Anchors | Setting An Anchor, 2 Beating Stress Exercises, 6 Belief Change Pattern, 3 Daily Questions, 5 Frames, 9 Future Pacing, 8 Hypnosis, 58 Hypnosis Elman Induction, 41 Hypnosis exercises, 39 Hypnosis Session Structure, 43 Interrupts, 13 Kinaesthetic timeline, 47 Meta mirror, 27 Meta Model, 29 Meta model for Problem States, 49 Meta Model Softeners, 28 Metaprograms, 52 Milton model, 50 Modelling, 18 NLP presuppositions, 46 Perceptual Positions, 25 Planning To Succeed, 22 Progressive dissociation, 13 Rapport exercises, 23 Researched Principles of Luck, 63 Stalking, 12 State elicitation and anchor, 11 State Management, 10 Storytelling, 61 Swish, 15 Timelines, 47 Values exercise, 49 Well formed outcomes, 16
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Anchors | Se tting An Anchor An anchor is a trigger, or stimulus that evokes a specific response. It may be set in any of your five senses. Anchors occur in the form of words, physical touches or actions, sights, and, particularly certain sounds and smells (think about your reaction when you hear “your song” playing on the radio, or, smell cookies, baking bread, or, newly cut grass). Sometimes they may occur internally and are triggered by words, self-talk, imagery or sensations. 1. Remember a time when you experienced a particularly heightened, positive emotion—joy, bliss, excitement, etc. 2. Recreate that experience as fully as possible. See what you saw. Hear what you heard and feel what you felt. 3. Intensify these feeling. Notice the direction your feelings move. Spin this feeling faster and faster. Increase the intensity of the other sub-modalities, brightening the colors, bringing the image closer, etc. 4. As the feeling begins to peak, firmly press the back of your hand, or, bring the thumb and forefinger of one hand firmly together. Then, let go, just before you sense the feeling subsiding. 5. Change your position (break the state). Test the anchor by repeating the action exactly the same way as before. Notice how the srcinal response returns. 6. Repeat, if necessary, until the anchor is reliably in place. 7. Refresh your anchor regularly to ensure it lasts. Although a well-set anchor will probably last a long time, anchors may lose their potency if not used. Note: You can stack anchors by linking several responses to the same trigger. The response will be a synthesis of all the separate anchors, but should be more intensely experienced than any of them individually. Thomson, Garner; Bandler, Richard (2011-03-11). The Secrets of Being Happy, The Technology of Hope, Health and Harmony. I.M. Press,
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Anchors | Collapsing Anchors Collapsing anchors is an effective technique to remove or lessen the impact of an unwanted anchor. 1) Identify a response you'd prefer to have in place of the unwanted response. Identify an occasion where you strongly experienced that preferred state. Step into this memory and intensify Anchor and it onthe oneanchor part ofproperly your body. the anchor to make sure that the state isit.powerful set.Fire Change state by shifting body position, humming a tune, looking around the room and so on. 2) Next think of the state you wish to change. As you re-experience this undesirable response, anchor it on another part of your body. Test, then change state by shifting your physical position. 3) When you've tested to make sure each is properly set, fire both simultaneously. The effect of two contrasting anchors integrating is usually mildly confusing. Hold the anchor until any confusion subsides. 4) Slowly lift the the anchor of the unwanted state, followed a few seconds later by the anchor for the resource state. 5) Test by trying to trigger the unwanted response. Instead, your response should be more neutral, or the resource state should dominate. From Tranceformation by Richard Bandler and Garner Thomson
Belief Change Pattern This is belief change technique that uses sub-modality differences between a useful and less useful belief. The example is in changing beliefs to become an excellent learner, however the approach has many possible applications. Become an excellent learner 1. Find the belief that stands in your way of learning new thing easily. See, hear, and feel yourself trying but not accomplishing, your objective. You will probably be able to find many examples from when you were in school. Notice all the submodalities of underperformance, writing down your observations so you can be systematic in your work. 2. Find a strong and useful belief about something in which you already excel. It need not fall into the same category as learning the kind of skills referred to in this book; simply find something that you know you do really well. Examine its qualities, Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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the same way as above. 3. Compare the two, noting the differences. Pay particular attention to the size of each image, their positions in your mental space, and whether or not either involves movement. 4. Push the image of the limiting belief off into the distance until it is little more than a pinprick, shift it across to line it up with your positive belief, and then snap it back toward you into you in its new position, shifting all the srcinal submodalities to match those of supreme confidence and proficiency. See yourself dropping into a profoundly relaxed state in which you absorb information easily and are prepared to explore and practice your new skills with deep commitment. 5. Deepen the state by manipulating the submodalities, the step into that state of deep trance and pay particular attention to the feelings associated with being an excellent learner. When you have identified a particularly strong feeling, anchor it by firmly pressing a particular spot on your body, such as an earlobe or a knuckle, so that you can easily access the state at a later date by pressing or 'firing' you anchor and remembering as fully as possible the experience you created in Step 4. 6. Slowly come back into the room, bringing all the learnings you've made with you, and in the knowledge that you can repeat this. Thanks to Richard Bandler and Garner Thomson. See the recommended Richard Bandlers Guide to TRANCE-formation
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Daily Questions Asking and answering a list of daily questions can be a great way of keeping on track with our direction and end goals. The idea is to make them short (no more than 5-10 minutes to answer), fun and positive. The question’s wording make a significant difference, so, play with them unless you find out resonates best. These are examples of what I find works. (Note – Please note I’ve developed these in line with my particular own plans and values, if you’re going to do the exercise it’s an important part of the process to develop what works for who you are and what you want to do) . Did I do my best to: 1.Be happy? 2. Find meaning? 3. Build positive relationships? 4. Be fully engaged? 5. Add value to my clients? 6. Check in with my direction? 7. Excel at a small number of key actions? 8. To be open to and encourage luck and randomness? 9. Do something to expand my comfort zones? Consider: 1.When in the past would not having a positive image of the future been useful? 2. At least one thing that, had I left it out, would have made my day better? 3. 5 experiences (and people) that I’m grateful for? 4. What have I enjoyed today? What will I enjoy tomorrow? 5. My key action (s) for the following day / week. Future pace 3 key upcoming meetings? 6. How is my focus area progressing? Daily routines: (At the end of the day ask the same question Did I do my best to:) 1. Maintain healthy eating habits and be ontrack track to achieve 12.0 stone by the End January 2016? Have at least to one ‘lean’ day a week 2. Complete my 10 minute hard exercise routine? 3. Complete my 10 minutes meditation? 4. Complete Lumosity training / Juggling / Listen to a Bandler CD/MP3? 5. Build connection with my family? 6. Complete my key few priority work actions?
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Beating Stress Exercises We all need a certain amount of stress to keep us healthy. However too much stress causes chemicals that destroy the brain. The art is to develop the ability to let excess stress go. This is an excellent list of stress busters from Conversations by Richard Bandler and Owen Fitzpatrick. 1. Using Meta Mantras regularly use the mantra 'SHUT THE FUCK UP' when you are giving yourself a hard time or 'SO THE FUCK WHAT? When you are worried. Repeat these mantras over and over especially when you use hear yourself say 'What if?'
2. Stay in the present Take some time each day just to notice where you are and to relax, letting the sights, sounds and feelings you experience simply be there. Do this for about five to ten minutes.
3. Reframing Stress Find out what the intention is behind the stress. Once you know this, find out how you can fulfil the intention without the stress.
4. Relaxation/Meditation Set yourself 5-15 minutes every day to find a quieter place to relax. Take this time to close your eyes, day dream your favorite fantasies, your body completely relaxing and imagine how you would feel if you couldn't fail.. Make the images as vivid as possible and enjoy the relaxation with complete abandonment for a few minutes. You can also offer yourself some positive suggestions or affirmations while you are relaxing. The secret is not to try too hard to get it right. Focus only on how much you are relaxing, not whether you are or not.
5. Finish Things Remember to write down all the things you have to do the following day in your work before you leave. Write down and use a diary so you can afford to put things in the 'back of your mind'.
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6. Close things off At the end of the day, finish your time in work by turning on and off the computer once, opening and closing every door and drawer and cabinet. By doing all of these actions once, it provides your brain with an indication that everything has been closed off and finished for the day. Write a list of what you are to do the following day in what order, and note anything you have to finish the next day.
7. Worry Pad Get a worry pad and bring it around with you. Every time you notice yourself worrying, think about what you can do about the worry at the moment. If you can do something about it, then do it. If not simply put it on your worry pad and take ten minutes every night to ook over your worries and just worry solidly for that 10 minutes.
8. Change your Inner Pictures Pay attention to what images you make when you are stressed and make them smaller, move them far away and make them fuzzy and dim. Replace with more relaxing images and make the new images big, bright, colourful them and vivid.
9. Change your Inner Voice Tone Change the tone of your inner voice and make it ridiculous so that instead of it sounding stressed, it sounds like Mickey Mouse or make it a deeply seductive voice.
10. Laughter Filter Use the laughter filter to frame every stressful situation in a numerous way.
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Future Pacing Future pacing is possible the most useful NLP approach I use in my coaching practice. 1) While you are learning to hone your mental rehearsal skills, eliminate as many distractions possible.will Make your ayourself comfortable youranywhere. time. Before long, mentalas rehearsal become skill you can use at and shorttake notice, 2) Decide whether you are rehearsing a new, ongoing behaviour, or a finite response or skill you want to lock into place. 3) Take a series of long, slow breaths, making sure the exhalation is slightly longer than the inhalation. 4) Relax, scanning your body and gently releasing all muscular tension. 5) Create a dissociated representation of yourself using the new behaviour and coach yourself so you're doing the behaviour in the best possible way (If you're dissociated you can improve what you do, if you're associated you can improve how you'll feel when you do the behaviour.) 6) Consider what will be some of the best states to be in for the behaviour. Imagine yourself being associated in those states and carrying out the behaviour in the best possible way.
Exercise | Raising the Bar 1) Start with a skill you already have and would like to improve 2) Create a movie of yourself (or someone particularly adept) carrying out the procedure. 3) When the movie is exactly as you want it, step (associate) into the beginning. 4) Now introduce a dramatic handicap. 5) Repeat the exercise many times, especially late at night. Don't skimp on the effort, and always hit your target regardless of how challenging the handicap might be. Keep increasing the handicap, and keep achieving your Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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outcome with precision and satisfaction. Test your progress frequently and keep track of whatever you find different and better.
Richard Bandler's Guide to Trance-Formation: How to Harness the Power of Hypnosis to Ignite Effortless and Lasting Change
Frames Beginning Fame What you say and do at the very beginning of any interaction ( this can include the impact of any initial marketing and sales messages ) can have a significant impact on the eventual outcome. The right beginning frame can leads to increase results, more fulfilment and satisfaction both during and after any interaction. Agreeing an appropriate frame up front can significantly shorten the time needed for any interaction. It also best to lead into the beginning frame at the very start of any programme. As an example there are three rules for my 1:1 NLP training programmes a) Be ambitious for yourself, be straight and open. Don’t fake anything. (There’s no point!). b) Dare to dream. On the assumption you have to start somewhere complete 2-4 visions or end goals on the CoachingCloud platform, then create 2-5 milestones for each. Accept this is part of the learning process and be prepared to update and change them at any time. b) Take an active part. You don’t have to do much, but you do have to do what we agree throughout the programme. A bit like life, to win you have to take part. An easy way to introduce the topic is to ask a question like “Would you like to know how to get the very best value from the programme”? Or tell a story about someone really beat their expectations of the programme and how the followed the ‘rules’. On a similar topic it can be useful asking your client: “When you were on a similar programme, and it really worked, what happened for it to work?
Exercises 1) Explain the rules that will lead to success in an intervention you are leading
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2) Answer the question “How do I get the most value from this intervention?” 3) When you’ve been on a similar programme what made it work for you?
State Management Recall specific memories, imagination, physiology, (including breathing), voice tone and questions State exercise and discussion What do you do to feel good? Is it good, bad or neutral for you in the longer term? What would be some useful learning states for you to have in a workshop such as this one? e.g. pressured, stressed, distracted, relaxed, comfortable, focused, absorbed, attentive, curious…..? Walking state Coach your partner to find three beliefs or states that will be useful for them to explore in relation to a problem. Have your partner come up with a single word that describes each belief – usually a state adjective such as proud, intelligent or empathic. As you walk together, coach your partner to find the pace, breathing, posture and full physiology of the first belief. Having fully settled into the first belief, have them now adopt the second one. Continue with the third until they have fully integrated the physiology of all three beliefs. Words and voice quality Group exercise Call out: Yes Ooooh Let’s do it Mmmmmmm Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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With a positive, sensuous voice
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State elicitation and anchor Ask your partner where they would be happy having an anchor applied - to their arm, hand shoulder? Ask your partner what state he/she would like to elicit. Imagine being in that state yourself to lead your partner in. Ask your partner to remember a time when he/she was in such a state, or asks them to make up a time when he/she was in such a state. Ask your partner: What they can see:
What they can hear:
What they can feel:
How big is the image? How far away? Motion or still? Colour or black and white? Bright or dim? Focused or unfocused? Associated or
One point or all around? Loud or soft? Fast or slow? High or low pitch?
Location in body? Breathing rate? Temperature? Weight?
Clear or muffled?
Intensity? Movement?
dissociated? One image or many images? Ask your partner to just double what he/she sees, hears, and feels and when they go strongly into state, apply the anchor Break state, then have your partner imagine experiencing the state strongly as you apply the anchor once more. Break state, then test the anchor.
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Stalking Have your partner find a behaviour that they want to change, something that they tend to get engrossed in or something that involves a response that happens very quickly. They key to finding the right behaviour for this exercise is that it happens either too quickly or too slowly for them to notice that it’s happening until it’s to late. Have your imagine a “sanctuary state” that they can retreat to at anyrelaxing time during this partner exercise. This will be a state or memory that is very resourceful, or protective for them. Have them create a “bubble” around this state and notice the location of this state in the room so that you can help your partner return to it at any time. Have your partner imagine seeing themselves across the other side of the room, engaged in this activity. Have them place the image at a distance they’re comfortable with. Now, help your partner to slowly approach the behaviour, walking slowly forwards until they start to feel an uncomfortable or undesirable response. As soon as they start to feel any response, have them step immediately into the sanctuary state. When they’re ready have them step out of the sanctuary step and move closer to the problem behaviour. Continue moving forwards, using the sanctuary state when necessary, until they can approach the problem behaviour and stand very close to it. Now, have your partner describe the problem behaviour and anything they can do to change it.
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Interrupts Handshake interrupt Write down 5 positive embedded commands – use at least one each of the three main representational systems. e.g. You can see yourself having fun Just feel really good I’m wondering how soon you’ll hear the words you really like Just relax and enjoy yourself You can easily learn anything you need
Apply using a handshake interrupt. More pattern interrupts Mention your partner’s name when they breathe in Touch their shoulder Look away What else? Useful Questions Write down 5 useful questions containing presuppositions – something that you would like to happen or believe. e.g.
What can I learn from this? What will I enjoy to day? Who’s going to excite me today? How can I help her/him feel good? What exciting thing am I going to catch my self doing today?
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Progressive dissociation (Assume for this example that your partner has a headache) Ask your partner where the discomfort or pain is. Ask your partner to hold your wrist, then ask a sequence of questions: What does your head feel about the pain in your head? What does your neck feel about the pain in your head? What does your shoulder feel about the pain in your head? What does your elbow feel about the pain in your head? What does your hand feel about the pain in your head? What do your fingers feel about the pain in your head? What do my fingers feel about the pain in your head? What does my hand feel about the pain in your head? What does my elbow feel about the pain in your head? What does my shoulder feel about the pain in your pain? What does my head feel about the pain in your pain? And then reverse through, all the way back to your head.
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Swish This can be used to change almost anything e. g. stopping smoking, changing state etc. There are different versions for different representational systems Identify context: Ask the client what he/she wants to change? Identify first cue picture: Identify what you see just before the behaviour that you want to change, See it through your own eyes (associated). Create outcome picture: Now create a picture after the desired change. See it through someone else’s eyes (dissociated). Play with the submodalities. Make the picture more exciting. Swish: See the first cue picture clear and bright Put a small dark image of the outcome picture in the bottom right hand corner Fast – Grow the outcome picture to replace the cue picture as the cue picture shrinks way over the horizon Repeat three times. Test: If you think of the first picture it should immediately change Does it work in practice? Play with the submodalities.
.
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Well formed outcomes Help your partner to come with a goal, it might be something short term or something long term and aspirational. You may want to write the goal down, if you do so make sure you write it down precisely as they say it – don’t be tempted to paraphrase or restate it Always use other people’s words, especially when their dreams are involved! Ask your partner the following questions and notice how they respond. Notice also any changes in processing or physiology that take place. You don’t need to worry about the answers that they come up with, pay more attention to them. Positive: Is that something you want, as opposed to want to avoid? Specific: When, where, with whom do you want it? Evidence - Sensory based: How do you know when you’ve got it? What will you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell? What will do you see yourself doing differently as a result of achieving this? Preserve the positive intention: (Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water) What will happen if you get this result? What won’t happen if you get it? What will happen if you don’t get this result? What won’t happen if you don’t get it? Initiated and maintained by the individual: What is the first step that you will take? What resources do you have? Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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Ecology check: Offer your hand, palm, up, to your partner and offer them their goal, right now, in the palm of your hand. If you were offered this right now, would you take it?
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Modelling Modelling is probably the most important skill in NLP. Co founder Richard Bandler is often quoted as saying that NLP is mainly an attitude, often of curiosity, which leads to modelling good (or less good) performance which in turn leads to a trail of techniques. The techniques allow us to communicate what we’ve learnt through modelling to others. When we’ve modelled how we or others have achieved the results we get, it’s very easy to suggest and test different approaches, to find out what works best in any circumstance. The testing part is essential, it’s only by testing our work that we’re able to continually improve what we do. We’re suggesting four approaches to modelling. Two are pure NLP approaches, two others have been added as we’ve found them exceptionally useful. As with all NLP approaches think about what you want to achieve first. The three most common uses of modelling are: Developing techniques to improve performance Using modelling to improve ‘less good’ performance’ Using modelling to get to understand or know someone better. There is a truism. If you want to find out something simply ask and watch. If and then add the steps of steps of test and improve you’re on the way to become a good modeller! Our 4 recommended approaches are: Eliciting NLP strategies ‘Pure’ NLP modelling Robert Dilts Logical Levels Marshall Goldsmith;s feedforward. What I find fascinating is that in may way ways 1) and 2) are opposites. In the first is about asking clean questions to determine the sequence of sensory information in getting a result. Its a very ‘logical’ approach. The second in some ways like learning as a child, and NOT having any internal dialogue to interrupt the process. However a similarity between both of them is the importance of being non judgemental.
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Eliciting NLP Strategies This is using meta model and strategy elicitation questions to identify the modality (sensory) sequence in achieving any result. In doing so choice points often become apparent, leading to surprisingly easy change. The best way to become good at this this is through both continual practice of meta model and strategy elicitation questions and eliciting strategies. It really is about Practise. Practise. Practise. Pure NLP Modelling This is very well illustrated by the following Richard Bandler’s ‘Steal a Skill Technique: from Richard Bandler's Guide to TRANCE-formation 1 Decide on a role model - someone whose physical performance you would like to replicate. Spend as much time as possible studying your role model in the flesh, on video tape, or on DVD recordings. Simply relax while watching them, softening your vision and hearing and seeing the flow of the performance. 2 When you feel as familiar as possible with your role model's performance, close your eyes, relax recreate your performing a sequence ofaactions the highest level and of excellence. Seerole andmodels hear everything there is to build model at of that competence. 3 When you have watched this performance for some time, move around the mental image of your role model and step inside. Imagine that you are able to see through the eyes of excellence, hear through the ears of excellence and feel the feelings of excellence. 4 Run through the same sequence of actions but from within, noticing this time what your body feels as you do this. Repeat several times as you have a sense of familiarity. 5 Step out of your role model's body, with the intention of retaining as much of the sill as possible as you return to normal working consciousness. 6 As soon as possible (and as much as possible) practice the borrowed skill, noticing how this exercise improves your performance. 7 Repeat the entire exercise, combining it with what-ever real time practice you do, at least once a day for the first 21 days, then at least once a week as maintenance
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Robert Dilts Logical Levels Firstly decide who you would like to model or what skills or capabilities you would like to develop. Remember NLP is about modelling the best - so set your sights high, you'll be surprised who'll see you if you come over as genuinely interested. And there are lots of others to see if they don't. Use a tape/mini disc recorder and preferably arrange to see people in their offices - I have some very interesting recordings in bars and clubs - but the background noise blanks out the content!! And remember to listen - sometimes questions that don't make any sense to you get the best answers. Mix and match the following question sets: Introduction You've chosen someone because they're good - so let them know, and keep any confidences that are important to them. You have a reputation at being good at 'people networking' (adapt to your topic) are you happy that I ask you some questions about it? Environment Where and when do you do it? Behaviours What specifically do you do? If you were going to teach me to do it, what would you ask me to do? Capabilities What skills do you have that enable you to do this? How did you learn how to do this? Beliefs What do you believe about yourself when you do this? What do you believe about the person you're doing this to? Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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Identity Do you have a personal mission or vision when you're doing this? Other questions How do you know that you're good at this? What emotional and physical state are you in when you do this? What happened for you to be good at this? What are you trying to achieve when you do this? Who else do you recommend I talk to about this? NOTE When you have a certain experience in doing this - and the questions become automatic - you could choose to get into deep rapport with your subject and imagine what it would be like to actually 'be' your subject as they are describing what they do. - This is a step towards 'true' NLP modelling. Marshall Goldsmith’s feedforward Feedforward is an approach developed by Marshall Goldsmith to make it easier for us to continually improve what we do. It also overcomes the challenge that in normal circumstances we're not to keen on either taking or giving feedback. For more read 'What Got You Here Won't Get You There' by Marshall Goldsmith. 1. Pick one behaviour that you would like to change which would make significant, positive change in your life. For example, I want to be a better listener. 2.Describe this objective in a one-to-one dialogue with anyone . It could be your wife, kids, boss, best friend, or co-worker. It could even be a stranger. The person you choose is irrelevant. He or she doesn't have to be an expert on the subject. For example you say, I want to be a better listener. Almost anyone in an organisation knows what this means. You don't have to be an 'expert' on listening to know what good listening means to you. Likewise he doesn't have to be an expert on you. If you've ever found yourself on a seated next to a perfect stranger and proceeded to engage in earnest, heartfelt, and honest discussion of your problems with that stranger - or vice - versa-you know this is true. Some of the truest advice comes from strangers. We are all human beings. We know what is true. And when a useful idea comes along, we don't care who the source is. Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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3. Ask that person for two suggestion for the future that might help you achieve a positive change in your selective behaviour - in this case becoming a better listener. If you're talking to someone who knows you or has worked with you in the past, the only ground rule is that there can be no mention of the past. Everything is about the future. For example, you say, I want to be a better listener. Would you suggest two ideas that I can implement in the future that will help me become a better listener? The other person suggests: First, focus all your attention on the other person. Get into a physical position, the "listening position", such as sitting on the edge of your seat or leaning forward towards the individual. Second, don't interrupt, no matter how you disagree with what your hearing. These ideas represent feedforward. 4. Listen attentively to the suggestions. Take notes if you like. Your only ground rule: You are not allowed to judge, rate, or critique the suggestion in any way. You can't even say something positive, such as, "That's a good idea." The only response your permitted is, Thank you.
Planning To Succeed 1) Decide on an outcome you would like to have Keep it fairly simple at this stage 2) Now, make a large picture of you and those people in your life who are important to you enjoying this outcome 3) Move the picture back; make it really big, and then start adding detail to smaller pictures between you and your outcome If you try to put everything in the same picture, especially a still picture, its likely to become cluttered. Therefore, move the picture back, make it really big, and then start adding details smaller pictures between you and your outcome. These should contain specific information about the actions needed to move you in your desired direction. These should preferably be moving pictures; and you should be be clear at each point how you would like that experience to feel. 4) When the entire sequence is in place, step into the beginning and run the scenario, seeing, feeling everything you'd experience if it was actually happening now. Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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Notice how it feels to be there, moving towards your objective. Make sure that each transitional picture gets bigger, brighter and more detailed the closer you come to it. 5) Repeat the exercise several times a day This is an extract from Richard Bandler and Garner Thomson's The Secrets of Being happy.
Rapport exercises Also refer to Section 3 page 25 What is rapport? Watch the 2 people up front Do you think they are in rapport? How do you know? Discuss and report back to the group. Rapport Movement Stand in a triangle. B
and
“outside”
C move hand.
their
‘Sit down’ matching Your partner sits in a comfortable posture. You walk in from behind or to one side of them, taking a moment to notice how they are sitting. When you sit, relax into a close match to their posture. Did it feel OK? Mismatching Loosely match each other’s posture- t here’s no need to be too precise. Start a conversation about anything- the weather, sport, your jobs etc.
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When you sense that the conversation is “in flow”, break rapport by mismatching. Change the direction or posture of your arms and legs and most importantly, break eye contact. You can do this gently, by looking at your partner’s shoulder, or more obviously by looking away completely. Notice how your responses change, then match again to restore that good feeling!
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Mind reading B adopts a specific state and recalls a specific time when they have experienced that state strongly. B continues to run through that experience, building the state so that they
Eye movement Breathing location, depth and speed Finger location Foot and toe movement Skin colour (indicating temperature)
Voice matching
Your partner speaks a short phrase which you repeat back, paying more attention to the volume, pace, pitch, rhythm etc. than to the words. Your partner coaches you to make the matching more accurate and you continue until it’s as perfect as you can make it.
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Perceptual Positions Ask your partner for an experience that they would like to have a different perspective on, learn more about, think differently about or just feel better about. This works well with experiences of personal interactions such as presentations or conversations. The exercise be arrange done standing or sitting, whatever helps yourjust partner recall it most easily. Acan could chairs or other furniture accordingly, as intothe srcinal scenario.
Ask your partner to recall that memory and run through it, recalling every detail as if it were happening right now. Help your partner to fully associate and run the whole sequence through from start to finish. This is 1st position. Now ask your partner to walk over to where the other person was, and step into their position. In this 2nd position, your partner watches the whole sequence again, watching and hearing themselves as if they are the other person .Ask your partner for any new information or insight they have in this position. Ask your partner how they feel watching and listening to themselves. Now have your partner walk over to a 3rd position on the other side of the room. If they have difficulty dissociating from the emotional content of the memory, you can askathem to onlooker. imagine stepping outside of the watching through a window, as casual Ask them to watch theroom wholeand sequence again, paying attention to the interaction between position 1 and 2. Ask them for any new information or insight they have in this position. Ask how they feel watching and listening to the interaction between the two people in the room, and to note how the other person seems to be responding.
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Now have your partner move back to the 1st position, in their own shoes, and run through the whole scene again, integrating everything that they learned in the other two positions. Ask your partner how they feel differently about the situation or the people, and what they have learned.
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Meta mirror Choose a situation where the relationship was difficult, step into 1st position and name what they do to make it difficult. Use a one –word adjective e.g. aggressive Go to 2nd position and name what you do which is the other half of the relationship. Use a one - word adjective e.g. cowering Go to the 3rd position and describe the relationship is it complementary or symmetrical? Complementary = acting differently, e.g. one shouting one quiet Symmetrical = acting the same e.g. both shouting What are you doing to maintain it? What are you doing to change it? Go to a 4th position and describe how you relate to yourself - are you being critical or supportive of yourself (looking at the way 3rd looks at 1st position) Step from 3rd to 1st taking the state 3rd back with you to 1st. Fully associate into 1st position. Notice what happens. Step from 1st to new 3rd and ask “what’s this like now?” Move from 3rd back to 2nd, taking that state and experience with you. Move from 2nd back to 1st, taking that state and experience with you. Now put them all into 1st and look at the other person. What happens now?
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Meta Model Softeners Discuss and come with a list of softeners for difficult questions or statements . Ask your partner these questions, preceded by a ‘softener’ Would you come up with a plan cutting your department by 50%? Would you re-write this report? Would you look after my three children for a month? Would you like a redundancy package? Do you know that your boss wants to fire you? Did you know I was having an affair with your wife/husband? Did you know that I crashed your car? Would you give up your office in this re- organization? Do you fancy me? Did you know that the only job we have for you is in Scotland? Would you cancel your expenses this month? Will you cancel your holiday next week?
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Meta Model Take it in turns to read out the problem statement and respond using the specific Meta Model structure indicated. Each structure will be demonstrated first. Unspecified Nouns Example ‘I want a change’ Response ‘What change, specifically’? I want a change It’s terrible
I’m enjoying this I have lots of skills
Meet you at the pub
I want a computer
I want the report tomorrow
I’m putting you down for a course
I need it now
We need this done today
I need the report
Get me a sandwich
Talk to the customer
I need a new car
Get the problem fixed
I read it in a magazine
Unspecified Verbs Example ‘She rejected me’ Response ‘How exactly did she reject you?’ He did it
He made her leave
I calmed the customer down
My boss ruined me
I’ve taken the heat out of the situation
I did a great piece of work
I’ve seen the writing on the wall
They get on really well
He’s running the department badly
I like him
This company is going places
She always falls
I told him, now he should do it properly
I’m running on empty
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Let’s go!
Nominalisation Example ‘I want recognition’ Response ‘How do you want to be recognised’ We have made our decision
Your work needs more attention
I have a bad feeling
I want more choice
There’s no relationship
We had a great meeting
Failure worries me
I want publicity
Our customers have no patience
Sales doesn’t work
He makes a bad impression
Marketing doesn’t work
We need better management
Manufacturing has no future
I want more direction
Decisions are always hard
Lack of Referential Index Example ‘They don’t rate me’ Response ‘Who, specifically doesn’t rate you?’ Response ‘According to who?’ The writing’s on the wall
People are stupid
They should know better
It needs to be done properly
People make mistake
Those people need to be disciplined
Those products are expensive
One knows what’s best
This happens everyday
If you learn NLP you will become very rich It’s either them or us
We shouldn’t do that You must turn your mobile off in the office They say you should do more exercise
We’re all going to be made redundant If you can’t beat them……
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Simple Deletion
Example ‘I’m unhappy’, Response ‘unhappy about what?’ You can’t
Help me
I’m fed up
I’m sad
We can manage
I just can’t start
He is wrong
It’s perfect
I know
It’s all wrong
I feel curious
I don’t want to
Never again
He can’t
You must not do that
Stop it
Comparative Deletions Example ‘Our new product is more effective’ Response ‘More effective than what?’ Response ‘More effective than when?’ It’s for the greater good
He’s more sensitive
NLP is better
She goes further
This is far more efficient
You look happier
Hard beds are better
He’s more tolerant
She’s much brighter This is more like it She’s more fun Blue is better
This is more complicated Green is calmer This is getting much easier I’m enjoying this so mush more
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Complex equivalence Example ‘He’s silent…..He doesn’t like what I’ve done’ Response ‘How do you know that his silence means he doesn’t like what you’ve done’
A good relationship means never having to say sorry
When you talk like that I know you don’t mean it
To stay in this job I have to work harder
He wears the same colour shirt as the boss: that means he’s in for promotion
You can’t have a well paid job that is enjoyable too You can’t trust sales people
I saw them down the pub together; they must be having an affair
Marketing is an easy job
This is the only way
If you want success you have to give up your home life
He doesn’t know what I want because he doesn’t care about me
That means trouble
She down to the gym so she mustgoes be healthy
He came in late on Saturday; I’m going to have to fire him
Lost performance Example ‘it’s disaster to be made redundant’ Response ‘Who is being made redundant’ Response ‘Who is saying it’s a disaster?’ People make mistake
Managers are overpaid
They should have seen it coming
People like people who are like them
They’re always doing that This report needs finishing
People learn from people who are different Learning NLP will make you more successful
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This needs fixing
Mistakes have been made
This report needs finishing
Nobody is pulling their weight
A meeting has already been held about this They’ve been at it again
People are more flexible these days
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Mind reading Example ‘you don’t rate me’ Response ‘How do know that I don’t rate you?’ Response ‘what leads you to believe that?’ I know you don’t believe me
She’s really happy now
He doesn’t want to help me
He’ll laugh at this
You just don’t care
They will think I’m stupid if I do that
He’s ever so happy
He’ll be upset if you disturb him
My boss thinks I’m lazy
He’ll get upset if you leave early
He’ll hate you if you do that The boss is in a foul mood today You know this isn’t working
When I present, everyone is judging me You can see how effective NLP is I know you’re enjoying this
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Cause and effect Example ‘He makes me cringe just by speaking’ Response ‘How does he make you cringe?’ Response ‘How you make yourself cringe when he speaks?’
Because of you I feel worthless
They restrict my enthusiasm
This exercise will inspire me
I can’t relax without music
I’m unhappy when he goes away
If you want success you have to give up your home life
If I stay in this job I have to work harder We can’t do that because it won’t listen If you want a pay rise you have to stay late
If I do the presentation it will go badly
If I do that I’ll get into trouble
There’s no point trying, he won’t listen
My boss makes me angry
I won’t apply, they’ll never give me the job
If you do that I’ll leave I feel tense as soon as speaks
Things always go wrong when she walks in here
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Presuppositions Example ‘What are we going to do next?’ Response ‘How do you know we’re doing something next?’ Response ‘What makes you think we’re doing something next?’
When this plan falls I’ll say ‘told you so’
I’ll be so happy when he gets found out
It will be easier when he leaves What will the next reorganization bring?
I can’t go for lunch with you because I’m going to a customer meeting
When are you leaving?
I can’t go home – my boss won’t like it
Who are you going to fire next?
I can’t learn to use this properly because I don’t have enough time
You’ll enjoy it once you do it What’s going to go wrong next? Once you make a start you’ll find it easy
I’m just waiting for a bus
We havecan’t any buy casha car because we don’t
We won’t be late – we can get a taxi I’ll be happy when this is all over
Universal Quantifiers Example ‘He never listens to me’ Response ‘Never?’ Response ‘was there ever a time when he did?’ Nobody likes me All company’s are greedy
He always tells the truth No one cares any more
It’s always the honest people that love
Nobody is having any fun these days
Nothings the same anymore
All the competition exaggerates
Nothing works here
I’ll never be able to get fit
Everybody’s talking about it
They always have an excuse
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Everybody works too hard NLP practitioners are always healthy
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Modal Operator of Necessity Example ‘I have to take care of her’ Response ‘What happens if you don’t?’
We shouldn’t do that
You must get that work done to day
You have to get a good education
I mustn’t leave yet
You must arrive on time
You need an action plan
You’ve got to laugh
You have to listen to the boss
I must get a new car
You ought to be more careful
You always have to be dressed smartly
You shouldn’t talk to that customer without asking me first
You must be polite to the boss This project must not fail We have to get a break from work You mustn’t
Modal Operator of Possibility Example ‘I can’t tell the truth’ Response ‘What would happen if you did?’ Response ‘What stops you?’ Response ‘How do you stop yourself?’ I can’t go there now
I can’t relax
I can’t ring that customer
I’ll never be to able to learn this
I won’t be able to complete that on time
I can’t sleep
I can’t apply for that job
I couldn’t possibly tell you
I might not finish that report on time
I couldn’t ask for a pay rise
I can’t imagine that
I can’t concentrate on work at the moment
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I couldn’t fire her
I could do it if I tried
I might do what he says
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Hypnosis exercises ‘That’s right exercise One person starts a brief presentation, members of the group interrupt (individually). The person replies ‘that’s right’ (in rapport with the person who asked the question) and moves on. Interruptions can get more creative as the exercise progresses! Trance exercises Remember setting the scene, outcomes, belief, voice tone, language pattern and technique ‘Common experience’ exercise Discuss common natural ‘trance experiences’ or any common experience that may be useful for inducing trance e. g. not seeing your keys even though they’re in front of you, driving to somewhere you know rather than where you want to go, cutting yourself and not noticing it until later, fantasizing during a dull lecture or presentation, eating a really nice sweet- but not noticing it as you’re in a deep conversation. Trance suggestions Work out some suggestions or questions that you would like to have made to you as part of a trance induction. e. g. you can relax easily from now on Tomorrow you will notice something really beneficial for you
You have already learnt the solution to your challenge, you will realise the answer at the right time for you As you discover that you have started to let go of those feelings you will become really excited about the possibilities in the future How does your unconscious mind already know how to solve this problem? Is it right to solve this now or simply take the first step Have you noticed how quickly you will achieve this, easily? Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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Trance imagination exercise Your partner imagines he/she is in a trance. Match their breathing and say ‘that’s right’ to anything that your partner does that could mean that he/she is going into a deeper trance. Utilisation exercise First find out the target state for your client e.g. relaxed, energized, focussed Embody the target state and be a role model in your physiology. Adjust your use of language, pace etc. to the target state Tell your partner three things that are present in their sensory experience Give your partner one positive suggestion relating to the target state Ask your partner what they are now aware of Your partner replies Cycle through e.g. You can see these words, you can feel the paper, you can hear people around you, you learning far more quickly than you thought possible. What are you aware of are now?
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Hypnosis Elman Induction Read this script to your partner whilst they co-operate. First, prepare the positive suggestion that you will insert at the end. You can write it into the space indicated if you want to. In thisand exercise must beexactly happyas to asked learn about how taking to develop yourtorelaxation skills followyou instruction – Neither too long follow instruction nor anticipating what will be asked. Now tack a long deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. As you exhale this breath, allow your eyes to close, and let go of the surface tension in your body. Just let your body relax as much as possible right now. Now place your awareness on your eye muscles and relax the muscles around your eyes to the point they just won’t work. When you’re sure they’re so relaxed that, as long as you hold on to this relaxation they just won’t work, hold on to that relaxation and test them to make sure THEY WON’T WORK. Now, this relaxation you have in your eyes is the same quality of relaxation that I want you to have throughout your whole body. So, just let this quality of relaxation flow through your whole body from the top of your head, to the tip of your toes. Now we can deepen this relaxation much more. In a moment I’m going to have you open and close your eyes. When you close your eyes, that’s your signal to let this feeling of relaxation become 10 times deeper. All you have to do is want this to happen and you can make it happen very easily. Ok now, open your eyes…now close your eyes and feel that relaxation flowing through your whole body, taking you much, much deeper. Use your wonderful imagination and imagine your whole body is covered and warmed up in a warm blanket of relaxation. Now, let every muscle in your body become so relaxed that as long as you hold on to this quality of relaxation, every muscle in your body is totally relaxed. In a moment I’m going to have you open and close your eyes one more time. Again when you close your eyes, double the relaxation you now have. Make it become twice as deep. Ok, now once more open your eyes. …And close your eyes …and double your relaxation…good. Let every muscle in your body hold on to this quality of relaxation. In moment I’m going to lift your right (or left) hand by the wrist, just a few inches and drop it. If you have followed my instruction up to this point, that hand will be so relaxed it will be just as loose and limp as a damp dish cloth, and will simply plop down. Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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Now don’t try to help me. Let me do all the lifting so that when I release it, it just plops down and you allow yourself to go deeper still. [Gently lift their hand by the wrist and drop it into their leg] Take a long, deep breath as you let yourself go deeper still. Now relax the muscles around your eyes to the point where they won’t work… and pretend you can’t open them even though you know full well that you can. As long hold on to this relaxation, you can pretend that they just won’t work and test them to make sure THEY WON’T WORK. Test them hard .....that’s right. We want your mind to be as relaxed as your body is, so I want you to start counting from 100 backwards when I tell you to. Each time you say a number, double your mental relaxation. With each number you say, let your mind become twice as relaxed. By the time the number get down to 98, you’ll be so relaxed the number won’t be there. Now, you have to do this, I can‘t do it for you. Those numbers will leave if you will them away. Now say out loud, the first number, 100 and double your mental relaxation. Say 100. Mow double that mental relaxation, sayThey’ll 99,.........now thatto. mental relaxation, let those numbers already start to fad. go if youdouble will them Say 98. Deeper relaxation now they’ll be gone. Dispel them. Banish them. Make it happen, you can do it; I can‘t do it for you. Put them out, make it happen! Are they all gone? Now really enjoy the skills and relaxation until I say something important to you, which I want you to take in at an even deeper level, easily and honestly if it’s what you need. [insert suggestion] Now come back to this room when I’ve counted from 3 to 1 and you’ve realized that you’ve learnt something important to you. 3…2…1
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Hypnosis Session Structure When one has mastered one of two inductions, some deepening skills, and the use of commands and embedded commands it is easy to develop a structure for a hypnotic intervention. The one detailed below can be amended and used for almost all situations. We recommend this as a great starting point for anyone who wants to develop their skills. Please note these are very brief notes. You need to add lots of process language and amplify (mention complimentarily any hypnotic signs your client is demonstrating.) your clients response. Hypnosis Session Structure Note: Only work with clients you’re comfortable working with. You’re responsible for what happens during the session. If you’re a beginner and don’t feel congruent with a client in a particular context, politely say that what’s presented is not your specialty and suggest some other practitioner or intervention. Session Structure Opening Frame, Induction, Deepening. Process Instruction or Technique (eg body scan). Bringing back and End Frame. All the frame instructions are suggestions. Feel free to amend based on your individual circumstances. Opening Frame The purpose is to put your client at ease, answer any questions they might have, give an expectation of a positive result and inoculate against any negative commands. You might say: “Welcome to this session where we’re going to explore how some gentle hypnosis might help you. Normally all that happens is that you’ll feel slightly relaxed and are able to use use your imagination more effectively… …which in turn lets you unlock and connect to your creativity and unconscious abilities, which in turn lets you find your own solutions to any challenges you might have had. Be totally true to yourself, go along with what I say but be totally honest when I ask you anything. Be straight. In the unlikely event you feel uncomfortable in any way, let me know, and you’ll come back. Otherwise simply let my voice guide you. Also remember, you’re in total control, you can use my words in any way that’s useful to you. You can ignore or change any instruction that doesn’t appear right for
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you, and trust your unconscious abilities to make use of the rest. Understand? Great. (Or don’t worry if you don’t, you’ll quickly learn.) Now take a minute to stretch, so you are sitting (or lying) in a position which you could become really, really comfortable, and let my voice guide you… Now, before we start for real, play an imaginary movie of what it will be like when you’ve achieved what you want? That’s right. It’s simply as I want to see you have a representation of what it will be like when you’ve well achieved what you want.” Induction The purpose is to lead your client into a mild hypnotic state. Remember light states are often all we need for most purposes. Two approaches I use are a ‘simple hand raise’ and ‘representational systems cycle’. This is an example of a simple hand raise. Simple Hand Raise I’m going to gently pick up your hand and arm. Is that OK? If its OK would you close your eyes? (Pick up hand) You might say: When the hand gets to a certain height, I command “Hold”, and continue “you will only lower your hand when you’re ready to do into a really delightful, enjoyable relaxed state… (Add process phrases) “When touch of your hand on the chair (or whatever) You’ll be able to get intoyou an feel everthe more comfortable state.” Deepening The purpose is now to lead your client into an even deeper state. I prefer two methods, although there are many more to choose from. Downward lift or elevator You might say: “Just imagine you’re in a special lift, spend a few seconds decorating the lift in your mind so that it fits what you want at the moment. When you’re ready press the down button, now, and as you pass the next four floors easily imagine you’re getting into a deeper from creative state. And the deeper you go the more you connect to that knowledge within you. And when you connect with that knowledge spend a few moments appreciating those special feelings which you’re beginning to notice. You may choose to go back up a floor, showing that you’re in control before you choose to go down another four floors, each time deepening that special state.” Pivot grammar Pivot grammar is simply articulating a two word utterance and then reversing the order of the words. Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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eg: slow down – down slow, feel good – good feel, connect now – now connect, special feel – feel special, learning light – light learning, deeper now – now deeper, Process language In this section you add some process language that will lead your client to find and implement a solution to their challenge. You might say: “Now I’m giving you an instruction to follow consciously now, or to follow unconsciously when you’re asleep and dreaming to-night. Project yourself into the future when you’ve achieved what you want perfectly. Notice the key actions that you’ve accomplished to get yourself there. It’s OK if some of the steps are a bit vague, you will fill them in and action them at the right time. Now I want you to 100% commit that you will complete this process when its right for you to do so. You’re 100% OK with that are you not? And if any step was a challenge to imagine at first, you will take huge pride in mastering it as the more you do so the, the easier and more enjoyable will your journey be.” “You’ll make sense of this in the way that’s most useful to you…” Bringing Back The is simply bringing your client to full consciousness. If you’ve used something like the ‘lift technique’ reverse it to bring your client towards full consciousness and then say something like: “Really enjoy those learnings. When you’re really ready and processed what’s important to you, in your own time, open your eyes and smile to show you’re fully back. When you’re ready, now.” End Frame The purpose of the end frame is that you check your client is back to full consciousness, and safe to drive (or whatever) and to reinforce what’s been before. (Its important that you remember you are still ‘on duty’ and you only say what will genuinely help your client…This is about your client. You may say: “Welcome back, remember you will drive safely and be fully aware. We’ve done what we’ve needed to do and you will be aware of some really changes starting to happen. You may ask: “One last thing for my records, and be absolutely straight. What are you aware of now?”
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(And whatever they say is right!) “Great. That’s exactly right. Just start noticing the steps you begin to take to move forward.
NLP presuppositions Ask your partner to describe a ‘problem’ with another person. Ask your partner which 2 NLP presupposition he/she would like to explore. Indicate the location of first presupposition on the ground, asking your partner to step into the presupposition only when he/she is prepared to believe it through all their senses. Your partner steps on the presupposition – how does the ‘problem’ change? The ability to change the process by which we experience reality is more often valuable than changing the content of our experience of reality . It’s easier to change your perception of the world than it is to change the world. The meaning of the communication is t he response you get. Judge your communication by what other people do, rather than what you think you say. All distinctions human beings are able to make concerning our environment and our behavior can be usefully represented through the visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory senses. Everything that is in your head a picture, sound, feeling, smell and taste. The resources an individual need in order to effect a change are already within them. Your client already has everything they need in order get what they want. The map is not the territory. The representation that you hold of the ‘real world’ is just a map, it’s not the real thing (whatever that is) so any experience you have is a deleted distorted, generalized version of what ‘really happened’, and anyone else will have a different experience.
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The positive worth of the individual is held constant, while t he value and appropriateness of internal and/or external behaviour is questioned. Your value as a human being cannot be determined by your behavior, which only represents part of your rich and varied capabilities. There is a positive intention motivating every behavior, and a context in which every behavior has value. Your behavior motivated by a desire to have or get something useful for you, and there is nothing ‘wrong’ with any behavior, there‘s just a time and a place for it. Feedback vs. failure – All results and behavior are achievements, whether they Are desired outcomes for a given task/context, or not. There is not failure, only feedback. There is no success either! Just feedback that helps you judge your effectiveness. Timelines
Kinaesthetic timeline Ask your partner if he/she has something they would like to investigate in the future. Ask your partner where their future and past are, imagined as a line which maybe forward and behind or side to side Ask your partner to walk to a position in time when the issue is completely solved, and then to a position a little further in the future when the client can feel really good about it. Ask your partner how that feels. Ask your partner to walk to a time when the problem is long solved and forgotten about. Ask your partner how that feels. Ask your partner to walk slowly back to the present day, collecting up all the useful experience and learning, bringing it all back and integrating it into the present day. Visual timeline As for the kinaesthetic timeline, but instead of walking, just ask tour partner to imagine seeing their timeline and to see a goal somewhere in the future.
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Ask your partner to imagine floating up above their timeline to the first milestone in achieving the goal. Your partner floats down into milestone and takes a moment to fully experience it. You can use sub modalities to help your partner fully associate with the milestone. Continue to guide your partner through all milestones until the goal is reached. Ask your partner to float slowly back to the present day, collecting up all the useful experience and learning, bringing it all back and integrating it into the present day. Strategies and eye accessing Eye accessing cues Also refer to Section 3 page 23 & 24 Ask the questions listed, remembering this is giving you a chance to train your observation skills. Important note: Memories the question, then look your partner right in the eye as you ask it. If you read the question from the book you will miss the eye accessing which occurs as soon as your partner understands the question – usually about half way through!
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State strategy Remember the meta-model questions – how do you make yourself angry? Happy? etc. The purpose is to find out the sequence of representational system. Buying strategy Discuss your strategies for buying motivation and buying decisions – in terms of representational systems. Values exercise Ask your partner “what’s important to you?” and “what’s important about that?” and maybe “what dose that get you?” And what else? Press a little more than would normally be acceptable. Then ask “are these your key values?” A more complete version is to ask the same question set around three vary positive experiences. Then complete a ‘work’ values exercise against a sale or work project. Meta model for Problem States Identify some problem states and use Meta Model questions, such as: Which? How specifically? What specifically? Where specifically? When specifically? Who specifically? How do you know? What comes first? How do you know when to finish? So?
How do you? ......... What stops you? Better then what? What would happen if you did? According to who? How are doing that? Has there ever been a time when? How do you know when to start? What does that mean?
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Chunking Also refer to section 3 page 78 A start with a word, B asks a question relating to either the same level, up a level or down a level. B can either say ‘up’, ‘down’ and ‘same’ or point to indicate the direction. Up:
what is that an example of?
Down:
what’s an example of that?
Same:
what is another example of that?
Milton model Is it hypnosis? Is it trance? Is it just a random selection of meaningless words? Is it a selection of powerful post hypnotic suggestion with amnesia built in? You could just trust your unconscious mind to take on board only those ideas and words that help you achieve what’s important to you – far quicker than you thought possible. Up to now. That is, isn’t it? Also refer to Section 3 page 42-55 Make a list of: 10 unspecified verb phrases You can 10 unspecified referential index This can easily be learned
10 ordinal numerals You may wonder which of your hands will feel warm first 10 awareness predicates Do you realize that your conscious mind already knows the answer? 10 commentary adjectives and adverbs How easily can you begin to relax? 10 negative commands Don’t relax too soon 30 phonological ambiguities Red/read, Weight/wait, annoys/a noise, see/sea etc.
10 deletions You are curious 10 mind reads I know that you are wondering 10 lost performance Relaxation is so good 10 nominalization phrases You will gain new insights 10 subordinate clauses of time You can relax after you breathe in Prepare the opening lines of a presentation using 3 or 4 of the above language patterns. Speak them with absolute confidence. The audience’s role is to clap at the end and induce a positive anchor about presenting!
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Sales exercise Sales person asks customer about the reason he or she is delaying placing an order. The sales person constructs a story, with a similar structure, about how another client solved those specific issues by placing an order. The sales person tells the story. Pay particular attention to the customer’s emotional state. Coaching exercise Coach asks client about a particular problem or barrier he or she is experiencing. The coach constructs a story, with a similar structure, about how another client solved those specific problems. The coach tells the story. Pay attention to the client’s emotional state. Logical Level – problem solving Explore an issue by ‘walking through’ logical levels Identity Belief Capability Behavior Environment
Who I am What is true for me What I am able to do What I am doing Where I am, the world around me
Modelling Decide what you want to be good at. Decide who is really good at it, and discover from them one or two distinctions that will improve your performance and the performance of anybody reading the report. Ideally record the conversation and see them in action. Discuss the following and report back: What is worth modelling? Who is worth modelling? How would you get to see them? – how can we help? What questions could you ask? Assume the minimum you want to know is their outcomes, where they do it, what they do, what skills they have, what they believe while they’re doing it and do they have a higher purpose. Also how they know they’ve been successful.
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Metaprograms Metaprograms are default behavioural settings that indicate how a person is likely to behave in a specific situation or when faced whit a specific event or stimulus. Metaprograms can be used as an effective psychometric tool and have several advantages over other proprietary profiling tools. Firstly, Metaprograms are revealed within the structure of language, so they can by tested and checked conversationally in real time. Secondly, Metaprograms take into account the way that a person’s behavioural responses change in different contexts. You probably respond to motivation differently at home, at work or in an exam. Finally, Metaprograms are already used as the elemental building blocks of other profiling tools so you might as well used the srcinal! Applications include sales, presentation, hypnosis, analyzing markets, advertising, career planning, change management, political campaigns, recruitment – and much more! Motivation level Does the person take action by themselves or do they wait until they’re told?
Words
Active Do it, jump in, get it done, don’t wait, just do it, now, right away
Reactive Think about, wait, analyse, consider, might, maybe, find out,
Questions
(just something!) How does did you know to do x?
learn more, think it through
Motivation direction When a person is motivated to take action, is it towards opportunities or away from potential problems. Note carefully: this is not about moving away from fear – away from is a good feeling too!
Words
Questions Response
Towards Attain, obtain, have, get, include, Achieve, do, outcome, result How did you know to do x? So that I can…..
Away from Avoid, prevent, eliminate, solve, get ride of, in case, so we don’t have to So I don’t have to….
Motivation source Does the person find motivation and decision criteria inside their own beliefs or in the world and people around them? Internal
External
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Questions Response
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Only you can decide, you might want to consider
Others will notice, the feedback you’ll get, what other people think How do you know you’r e doing x well? A blank stare followed by “I just Someone tells me, I have a know” certificate
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Motivation choice How does a person handle regular tasks? Do they always look new ways to do things or are they happy to follow a routine once they’ve found the right one?
Words
Questions Response
Options Opportunities, variety, possibilities, lots of choice, break the rules, do it different, new, change How do you do x? Sometimes…usually…
Procedures The right way, how to, tried and tested, speak in procedures: first, second, third, then, next etc. First I, then I…before, after, next…
Motivation decision factor How does a person react to change and what frequency of change is needed? When a situation changes, does this person notice what’s different or what’s the same? Similarity Similarity with exception Difference Difference with exception Questions Response
The same as, as you already know, like before, identical More, better, the same except, evolving, progress New, totally different, completely changed, switch, shift, unique, radical, revolution Use exception and difference languages Similarity Difference How would you compare x and y? They’re both… One is…
Working Scope What size of information does the person handle best? The big picture or the detail?
Words Questions Response
Specific Exactly, precisely, specifically, gives lots of detail You tell me how to do x? Starts at the beginning, goes through step by step
General The big picture, essentially, the point is, in general Starts at the end and works back or starts at an abstract level and works down in levels of detail
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Working attention direction Does the person pay attention to the non – verbal behavior of other, or to their own internal experience?
Words
Questions Response
Self Focus on the content or task
Other The depth or rapport influences them, They recognize other’s states Tell me about a great experience at work Talks about tasks Talks about people
Working stress response How does the person react to stress in the working environment?
Words
Questions Response
Feeling Choice Intense, exciting, Empathy, appropriate, fantastic, amazing, makes good sense, awful, dreadful, feels right, restrained, scary interesting Who gives you a problem at work? Goes into emotion Both emotion and logic, Feelings and “because”
Thinking Clear thinking, logical, rational, reality, hard facts
Logical analysis, cause and effect, “because”
Working style What kind of environment allows the person to be most productive: working alone, with others around or sharing responsibility?
Words
Questions Response
Independent You do it by yourself, you alone, total responsibility
Proximity Co-operative You’ll be Us, we – all together responsible, share responsibility, within a wider do it together team Tell me about a work experience. What did you like about it? Responsibility Team Work Sharing
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Working organization How do people organize their work? Do they concentrate more on thoughts and feelings, Or on ideas, systems and tasks?
Words
Questions Response
Relationship Task Use people’s names, feelings, Things, systems, the thing is, thoughts, feel good, people like, the goal is, process, task, talks talks about relationship at work about what they did Tell me about a work experience. What did you like about it? The people I worked with The job I did, interesting work
Working rule structure What are the rules for behavior that people apply to themselves and others? My/my My/? ?/my My/your Questions
Expects everyone to think and act as they do I know what to do, I don’t care about you I’m waiting for you to tell me what to do I know what to do and you know what’s right for you What should I do about x? What would be the right way to handle it?
Convincer channel What type of information does a person need to gather in order to a start the process of being convinced? What sensory channel gets the idea “onto their radar”? See Hear
See something Be told about something
Read
Read an article or story
Do
Take action or experience themselves
Questions
How do you know someone else is good at his or her work?
Convincer mode How dose a person gather criteria to support a decision? No examples Automatic Consistent
Has to have a set number of examples of the criteria
Time
Has to know about the decision criteria for a length of time
Questions
Tell me about the time you bought (something big)? How did you do
Decides first time Has to re-assess criteria every time
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it? Remember – this is best combined with a strategy elicitation of the process as the person may need to combine a number of representational systems e.g. first see, then hear about from three people, then do. Recruitment exercise Pretend you’re recruitment consultants, you’re going All to be a can management consultant, a technical designer and a sales person. therecruiting applicants do the job. Which are the 4 key metaprograms that you would look for in what kind of profile? Metaprogram presentation Individually prepare 2/3 minute presentation that will appeal to the spectrum of the key Metaprogrammes
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Hypnosis Principles Hypnosis Hypnosis is a natural process. We drift in and out of hypnotic states all of the time. Waking people from ‘not’ useful hypnotic states can be as much as help as getting them into goodup states. It is useful thinking of hypnosis as a further amplifier, giving us the opportunity to improve the way we communicate and influence both with ourselves and others. Basic principles 1. The power of ambiguity. If we give our clients a structure without any content, they will often determine the most useful content for themselves to fill in the gaps. This is often more useful than giving them the (or rather our) answer. 2. Shock and pattern interrupts are useful provided we lead them somewhere beneficial afterwards 3. Pace and then lead. Start by referring to what is true in their world and then when they accept what say we can lead them somewhere more useful 4. Anything that presupposes a hypnotic state often leads to it! 5. Utilisation. We can use anything that’s happening. We’re leading not fighting! 6. Fractionation. Many small pieces weaved into normal conversation work exceptionally well. 7. Get into rapport, go into trance, and our client will follow 8. A deep hypnosis state can also be thought of as a state of deep rapport/deep learning 9. In a hypnotic state we can often replace 'or' with 'and' 10. We are responsible for the impact of our communication and our clients well being
Commands and Embedded Commands What specifically do you want people to to? How do you want them to feel? The easiest step sometimes is to ask/tell them directly, eg: Stop, listen, feel good, enjoy, start now etc They have more impact when: 1. 2. 3. 4.
Voice tone down. Said as a unequivocal command, not a question. The command is emphasised through some gesture or voice change The voice reflects the meaning of the word ie All our communication is congruent with the command
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We can ‘hide’ the command by embedding it into a sentence. However the command part must still follow the rules of commands. The other words can often distract our ‘logical’ thinking. Examples include: Luckily you can command and something else If you were to command and something else When you command and something else A person can command and something else You don’t have to command and something else You shouldn’t command and something else Examples of phrases to set up embedded commands (Now at the end often amplifies the effect.) Luckily you can: You might want to: I wouldn't tell you: When you: If you were to: I don't know if (command) is the very best thing you can do: If I were to: What's it like when you: A person can: It's not necessary to: You really shouldn't: You don't have to: You can: And variants Why is it some people see x and other don't? What is it that will help you to know whether to do x or y?
Linkage Language As humans we like to associate ideas, even when there is no logical association. Something true in your clients reality and something else true and something else true and command Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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And as you progress the linkage words can be stronger that means, as you’re …. you will, etc.
Process Language Process language combines all the above, giving your client a powerful direction with a useful process, but no content. You’ve been listening and as you sleep and dream tonight, you’ll run through all the ideas we’ve explored, add some of your own, mentally rehearse them, and to your delight and surprise start implementing the most useful when it's both safe and beneficial to do so. And something else that may surprise you, when you least expect it, you’ll start to notice when others use these patterns, and copy the very best and add them to what you so easily. You can create your own hypnosis session by using the sequence: Frame. Induction. Deepening. Process Command. Future Pace. Bring Back. End Frame.
Exercises 1. Write out what you would like others to do and feel 2. Construct some embedded commands that you could use, and decide on an appropriate place to use them, and then mentally rehearse using them effectively 3. Start noticing what your colleagues do to get other to take action. What state are they in, what commands do they use. How could you improve what they do? 4. Start noticing what is likely to be true in your colleague’s world in what context.
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Storytelling Stories have always been one the best ways to entertain, share knowledge and be a catalyst for creativity and change. They tend to engage our unconscious thinking and sidestep our critical reasoning. They are a marvelous delivery system for embedded commands. There are leasttosix storytelling that however are worthsomeone exploring. Realjust stories areat likely bebasis a combination ofapproaches more than one, using one has a significant impact on our communication. Simple state change Tell a story where the state of the characters in your your story match your audience. Then in your story describe ‘something’ that results in your characters moving to a more positive state. If your audience has built rapport with your characters, they too will move into that more positive state. Provided you keep it plausible you do not need to explain the reason for state change, its much effective to simply describe the states. Teaching Tale Use a story to explain the details of a successful and or unsuccessful strategy. It’s sometimes much easier to tell a story about someone exhibiting a series of useful behaviours than telling them what to do. For example at the beginning of a workshop you can tell the story of two delegates, one who exhibits useful behaviours and attitude and gets great results and one who exhibits destructive behaviours and fails. Metaphor Sometimes you can be much more direct by explaining the situation as a metaphor. When talking to a group of directors who aren’t being helpful to each other, you tell a story about a band of outlaws who lost everything because they didn’t agree take the right difficult decisions. As mentioned you can often be much more direct when you're giving messages inside a story. State Strategy This is particularly effective for therapeutic change, but may have a place in business. Sometimes moving someone from for example, a depressed state to a Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
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contented state in one move is too much of a jump. You therefore break down the interaction into a number of smaller changes for example from depressed to frustrated to determined to excited to action to feeling good to a contented state. You tell a story of an individual in a context where they experienced all the states in this sequence. If the listener is in rapport with the individual in the story they will experience the states in the right sequence, and have an unconscious strategy from moving to contentment from depression Classic Case Study (Soara) There are a number of versions of this approach. The interesting point is that it’s possible for someone who has limited experience to come over as exceptionally experienced and competent by giving case studies in this format. Follow this sequence Situation and problem (and possibly the implication of the problem) Your Objective Action. What you actually did The Result The positive implication of the result Over time Nested Loops This againembedded is particularly effective for therapeutic change, and specifically for delivering commands. (Although any character in aisstory can deliver embedded commands.) Open story one Open story two Open story three Add commands Close story three Close story two Close story one The idea is that when a story is opened and left opened without closure and another story is started a part of our consciousness is waiting for that story to be closed. If we’re holding three open stories we have very little consciousness free to evaluate any statements made. Embedded commands will therefore be accepted easily. When the stories are closed we’re likely to remember the stories consciously, but consciously forgotten the commands. However the commands are in our unconscious waiting, like seeds, to grow. All these approaches have the potential to be exceptionally effective in the right context. However they often need practice.
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The four researched principles and twelve sub-principles of luck PRINCIPLE ONE: Maximize Your Chance Opportunities Lucky people create, notice and act upon the chance opportunities in their life. Sub-principles: 1: Lucky people build and maintain a strong ‘network of luck’. 2: Lucky people have a relaxed attitude towards life. 3: Lucky people are open to new experiences in their life.
PRINCIPLE TWO: Listen to Your Lucky Hunches Lucky people make successful decisions by using their intuition and gut feelings. Sub-principles: 1: Lucky people listen to their gut feelings and hunches. 2: Lucky people take steps to boost their intuition. PRINCIPLE THREE: Expect Good Fortune Lucky people’s expectations about the future help them fulfil their dreams and ambitions. Sub-principles: 1: Lucky people expect their good luck to continue in the future. 2: Lucky people attempt to achieve their goals, even if their chances of success seem slim, and persevere in the face of failure. 3: Lucky people expect their interactions with others to be lucky and successful. PRINCIPLE FOUR: Turn Your Bad Luck Into Good Lucky people are able to transform their bad luck into good fortune. Sub-principles: 1: Lucky people see the positive side of their bad luck. 2: Lucky people are convinced that any ill fortune in their life will, in the long run, work out for the best. 3: Lucky people do not dwell on their ill fortune. 4: Lucky people take constructive steps to prevent more bad luck in the future.
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Wiseman, Richard (2011-01-25). The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind Random House.
Notes…
Business NLP Ltd, Copyright 2015, PPI House, 120 Porthcawl Green, Tattenhoe, Milton Keynes MK4 3AL United Kingdom, +44 (0) 1908 506563,
[email protected] http://www.business-nlp-training.uk