NINTENDO - Official Nintendo Magazine December 2014

THE TO

HERE AT LAST!

ALL T Whi hich chNi Nint nten endo do l en wi the th e nu numb mber er ne

REVI RE VIEW EWS S TH THE E FUT UTUR URE E LAST EVER I LAS AND D NO NOTH THIN ING G MORE! HOW HO W IS ISSU SUE E 1 WAS MADE! AN

SUPER SMASH MASHBR BROS OS.. EVIEWED andh an dhel eld d it

GOODBYE TO TO ONM How’s this for a dramatic entrance: entrance: you hold in your hands the last issue of Official Nintendo Magazine. Yes, after 114 issues, we are heading to the magazine rack in the sky. But don’t get too sad – for one, I don’t want big, wet tears splashing splashing against my giant face. Let’s instead make this this a celeb celebration, ration, crammed with Nintendo love: the Super Smash Bros. of magazines. Truth is, with Super Smash Bros. for 3DS being DS being as brilliant as it is, we – that is Joe and me (I tempted him back for one last job) – haven’t had any time to mope. Our last days on this earth have played out to a soundtrack of pranging frying pans and screeching Mii death. In fact, this is why the mag is closing – we’ve decided to play Smash forever instead. Don’t judge us. If Smash Bros. is Bros. is the star st ar of tomorrow, don’t forget the gems of yesteryear, as ranked in the second part of our top 200 games feature. This episode focuses on Nintendo’s own output and triggered several fistfights that put Smash Bros. Bros. to shame. As this is the last issue, the list is now set in stone for all eternity. Yes, these are the best games of all time, whether you like it or not. Although I’ve only captained captaine d this ship for a year, I speak for all ONM staff when I say it has been a honour creating the mag for you. Nintendo makes makes the best games on the planet, yes, but don’t forget it makes the best fans, too. Who knows, perhaps our paths will cross again, on Mount Wario or in Final Destination. Destination . Do say hi. And go easy on us.

Matthew Castle Nintendo Network ID: MatthewONM

dit r Fell Fellow ow Nint Nintend endo o Nerd Nerd

EDITOR’S CHOICE 050. The Top 100 Games I still can’t believe Pokémon Battle Revolution took the number one spot. I mean, we didn’t even review it because of the [CENSORED]

Nott ge No getti tting ng st stre ress ssed ed on de dead adli line ne Pla layi ying ng ga game mess at a le leis isur urel ely y pa pacce Burnin Bur ning g le lefto ftove verr fr free ee po post sters ers Handing all the bribes back

Twitter: @onm_uk

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MEET THE TEAM, Publisher

Editor

Editor

Editor

Overlord

LeeNutter

ChandraNair

NeilLong

MatthewCastle

Ourfirsteditorwenton tobe ourlast publisher. Convinced thathisstar shouldnever stoprising, hebuiltaone-man spacecraft,declaring thathewouldbe “God-Emperor of Space”.Heismissed.

“TheHair”Nairgotquite bored of people just payingattentionto the topofhisheadallthe time, sosoughtsolaceby focusingon theother endofhislongformand starting a companythat makes really bigshoes.

Neilhas never really recovered. The awkward thingisthatwehaveno realideawhathehas never recovered from. Sometimesherearranges entireSainsbury’s aisles by order ofpreference. Sad, really.

Matthewbecame obsessedwithcarving perfectspheresoutof limestone,and gotpretty goodatit.Youcansee himinparkslaughing derisivelyatcheap footballsand their alleged owners.

Stevecanbeheard singing seashantiesof hisown inventionin insalubriouspubs.He saysheoncelostaship ontherocks...hesayshe meta talkingbird. Steve saysagreatmany things.

Steve was actually really, really old the whole time. He was in his mid-60s or something but kept himself in improbably great shape. He looks even better now. He says the secret to youth is “battle”.

Deputy Editor

Deputy Editor

Games Editor

Games Editor

Production Editor

Online Editor

Fred Dutton

MartinMathers

Chris Scullion

Poor,poor Fredgot a weirdtropicaldisease aftertrudging througha bog–itmadehisfeet suffer a second, excruciatinggrowth spurtandnowhehasto wearreallybig shoes. Luckily,he knows a guy.

Afterhelpingfoundthe magazine,Martin leftto haveachildinmore sedateprofessional circumstances. Thingis, henever,everstopped. He nowhas, according tothe lastcensus, 38 sprogs (lots oftwins).

Chrisgotahuge settlement whenhe sued everyone who’d everwon The Weakest Link , sayingthey’d causedhimtothinkhe wasweak.Heboughta bighouse,andaneven bigger gun.

News Editor

Staff Writer

Video Producer

Joe Skrebels

Kate Gray

Gav Murphy

Joe dug himself a holein Nova Scotia. He eats hibernating grubs and entertains himself by blowing smoke in his eyes and pretending the tears come from real emotion.

Kate built an aquarium, but it’s only got one kind of fish in it at any one time. It changes every time you go, even if you juststep out for a breath of fresh air and go back in. It’s really weird.

Gav ate a huge amount of duck feed on a dare, and, after complaining of a “quacking gut”, sadly died. If you go to the Thames Estuary at low tide, you can still see his bones.

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Steve Jarratt

Deputy Editor

Steve Hogarty

Simon Bramble

CharlotteMartyn

Tom East

Simonwasbittenby something .Onafull moon,hegrowsextra legsandscreamsat houses.Healsorunsa boutiquetravelfirm, Bramble’sRambles, primarilybecauseit soundsfunny.

Prod.Ed/writercombo, Charlottetellsusthat shefoundan island,and onthatislandisevery item, petand human you’ve everlost.She says you’ll haveto solve a riddletofindoutwhere theislandis.

Tom went on to became a professional cage fighter. Pay him £30 and he’ll fight any cage you throw his way. He turns the shredded remains intoavant-garde sculptures for a Vietnamese charity.

Contributor

Contributor

Contributor

Edwin EvansThirlwell

Chris Schilling

SimonParkin

Chris wears a hundred watches. They go right up his legs, and he has to fashion the bigger thigh straps personally, using a supply of old leather wallets. It’s weird as hell, but by god, is he prompt.

Prof.Parkin,writerof booksand Actual Journalist,was always toosophisticateda writer forthishumble organ.HeisnowtheUN. Yes, hereplacedall of them. He’sthatsmart.

Edwin was shot to pieces by a bald man and his friends, but was rebuilt by a private bionics firm to fight crime and evil robots. No wait, that’s the plot to Robocop.

www.officialnintendomagazine.com

ALL OF THEM! Contributor

Contributor

Contributor

Mike Jackson

Jon Blyth

Mike is the only person who wrote for Nintendo Official Magazine , our predecessor. He tried to destroy us from within but, in the end, it was he who was destroyed. By wasps. Your destiny cannot be denied.

Jon followed hisheart into contemporary dance, and toured Russia with a gypsy troupe known as “The Ancient Ones”. Once, the stage caught fire beneath his feet, but he wasn’t burned at all.

Alex Dale Daler tried to patent an innovative programme of injections and unctions that gave dogs and other mammalian pets a kind of fashionable stubble, but found out that Panasonic had got there first. He’s broke.

Unpaid Workers

Sad Act

Terror

Interns

Smug Aladdin

We’ve had many volunteer workers over the years, and we thank them all (in lieu of a living wage). By a weird coincidence, every one went on to own the same total number of cups and mugs.

Look, we’ll level with you. JustDance 2014 star, Smug Aladdin was never smug, he’d just had his face sewn back that way after a botched dental operation. We’d like to apologise, but we just won’t.

Production Editor

Art Editor

Dead

All Dead

Ghost of the Work Experience Kid This one isn’t a joke, right. Some kid died in our lift shaft once, and he or she just won’t stop moaning down there. It really bugs us, but what can you sayto someonelike that? No class.

Contributors SeanBell, SimonBerkovitch,KatharineByrne, Daniel Cairns, RobCrossland, Jinrod Dongmax,Carl Fleischer, Terrell Gigsender, Mark Green, Andi Hamilton, Alex Jones, Gareth Mason, Andy McDonald, Patrick Minnikin, Shigeru Miyamoto, Daniel Robson, Roland Roonfluss, Camden Spatyole, Tom Sykes, Jenny Meade Join us online!

officialnintendomagazine.co.uk

@onm_uk

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Future PublishingLimited LeeNutter Publish r Clair Porteous Group Publishing Director Jim Douglas Editorial DirectorBob Abbott Creative Director Graham Dalzell Group Art Editor Zillah Byng-Maddick Chief Executive 2 Balcombe Street,London, NW16 NWPhone: 02070424000 Fax: 02070424679 e-mail [email protected] Futureproducescarefully targetedmagazines,websites andevents for people with

a passion. Wepublishmorethan 180 magazines,websitesand eventsand weexportor licenseourpublicationsto 90 countriesacross theworld. Futureplc isa publiccompany quoted onthe LondonStock Exchange(symbol:FUTR), www.futureplc.com Disclaimer: All contributions to Official Nintendo Magazine are accepted on the basis of a non-exclusive worldwide licence to publish or

license others to do so, unless otherwise agreed in advance in writing. We reserve the right to edit letters. We cannot accept liability for mistakes or misprints, or any damage to equipment or possessions arising from use of this publication, its discs or software. Due to unforeseen circumstances, it may some times be necessary to make last-minute changes to advertised content, for magazine and discs. We are committed to only using magazine paper which is derived from well managed, certified forestry and chlorine-free manufacture. FuturePublishing andits papersuppliershave beenindependently certifiedin accordancewith therules of theFSC (Forest Stewardship Council). Nintendo Co., Ltd. is the owner of certain copyright which subsists and trade marks and other intellectual proper ty rights in cer tain content, characters, artwork, logos, scripts and representations used in this publication. All rights are expressly recognised and they are used by Future Publishing Limited under licence ©2006 Nintendo Co., Ltd. All rights reserved. “Nintendo”, “International Nintendo Licensed Product” “Nintendo DS”, “Nintendo DS Lite”, “Nintendo DSi”, “Nintendo 3DS”, “Nintendo DSi XL”, “Nintendo 3DS XL”, “Wii” and “Wii U” and the associated logos are the trademarks of Nintendo Co. Ltd. All r ights reserved.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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074. Super Smash Bros. for 3DS

Bayonetta 090 Bayonetta 2 086 Captain Toad:T T 045 CodeNameSTEAM 037 ComicWorkshop 093 Cubemen 2 095 Devil’s Third 040 DisneyMW 092 045 FatalFrame 5 GreatAce Attorney 043 Kickbeat 095 KirbyRainbowCurse041 TheLegendofZelda 038 LoZ: Ocarinaof Time070 071 MarioGalaxy MiyamotoProjects 039 Monster Hunter 4 037 MegaMan Xtreme 094 MegaMan Xtreme 2 094 PokémonOR&AS 034 032 Smash Bros. 3DS SmashBros.WiiU 074 SonicBoom: ROS 044 Splatoon 042 StarFox 033 Stealth Inc. 2 082 085 Teslagrad 044 Watch Dogs 036 X enoblade X Yoshi’sWW 035 ZenPinball 2 GOGT 094 ZenPinball 2 TWDT 095

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086 . Bayonetta 2

Incoming 008 . The BigStory Matthew looks back,then forward, then inwards, andcomes backwith a comprehensive look at what Nintendocould be post-ONM. 010 . Countdown See howparkourfits in with Super Mario along with a wholeinventory of gameitems: maps, swords, anda giantpolystyrene classical statue of Mario. 016 . Mouthpiece Forour last everinterview, we enter the Miiverse andtalk through thebig issues with a conglomerate of its higher lifeforms... that’s you lot. Gulp. 018 . Nin-10 -Do: New 3DS Typical. As weship out,Nintendo announces a brandnew console. Hereare ten reasons to be cheerful aboutthe delightful New 3DS.

Features On The Cover Lookingforcluesastowhat’smadeourTop100 Nintendogameslist? Lookno furtherthan that glorified, eye-searingpolice line-upon thecover. Oh,andthere’sthesmallmatterofSmashBros 3DS,too.It’sbeenabigmonthinmanyways.

050 . Top 200: First-party games We’ve only got one feature this month – we only need the one. After we dealt with everything outside of Nintendo last month, join us for a runthrough of the 100 greatest games our namesake had a hand in. What will come top of the list? Well, we’ve got a surpris e for you...

www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk

050. The Greatest 200 Games of All

Time: Part Two Tens of writers, hundreds of

games, lifetimes of hours spent playing them. We’re going out in style with this definitive verdict on the 100 greatest first-party Nintendo games. And there are some real surprises in there, too ( MaBoShi’s Arcade, anyone?). Combine it with last month’s rundown of third-party effor ts and you’ve gotthe perfect directory to waste a life to. Join us. JOIN US.

042. Splatoon

The Future

082. Stealth Inc. 2

Reviews

100 . ONM Issue 1

Continue

032. Super Smash Bros. for Wii U Yeah, you’ll be playing the 3DS version this month, but there’s a whole new game to try this Chr istmas

074. Super Smash Bros. for 3DS Nintendo’s best multiplayer game gets its due, as Matthew and Joe attempt a two-player review

98 . Mysteries of ONM We take you behind the pages for a look at the myriad crap we keep around the office.

034. Pokémon OR & AS All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it’s jewels, or wonderful 3DS remakes of classic GBA RPGs

082. Stealth Inc. 2: A Game of Clones Big heads and bigger ideas as indie masters Curve turn their hand to the first 2D stealth-Zelda game

100 . Rewind: ONM Issue 1 Ex-editor Chandra Nair consults his alcohol-blasted memory banks for how this mag was first made

035. Yoshi’s Wooly World Roll up, roll up! Does that work as a yarn joke? because they come in balls, r ight? Forget it

085. Teslagrad Science and art collide to distinctly mixed effec t in eShop’s most magnetic Metroidvania

102. Time Capsule: First-party Hell Alex Dale gives us a neat counterpoint to our central feature by recalling when Nintendo went very wrong

036 . Xenoblade Chronicles X It’s back to the future for JRPGs as Monolith Soft swaps Shulk and co’s robot world for a brave new one

086 . Bayonetta 2 Nintendo saved the series from damnation, and now you can see why – this is truly incredible stuff

106 . Best of Wii U/ 3DS/Wii/DS Our very last go at cataloguing the greatest games your chosen console can play. Sniff

038 . The Legend of Zelda We don’t even know if that Link’s a boy or a girl yet, and we’re already forming gleeful opinions about it

090 . Bayonetta Which witch? We’d suggest both, given this original is probably the greatest action game ever made

114. Goodbye ONM A special illustrated farewell message to this very magazine from a few very famous Nintendo names

042. Splatoon Creative and cleverly designed, Splatoon gives multiplayer shooting an artistic shot in the arm

092. Disney Magical World All the timeless, wonderful characters you’d expect from the ultra-corp, just with very little of the charm

043. The Great Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright meets Sherlock Holmes. We mean that almost literally. Shu Takumi strikes again

093. Comic Workshop Matthew asked Joe to write his review in the form of a comic. That was almost certainly a mistake

045. Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker Mario’s fungal friend turns out to be a real diamond

094. Reviews Round Up Squeezing in as much as we can for our last issue

Twitter: @onm_uk

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News and opinion on the biggest Nintendo events of the month. If it’s important, it’s here.

hat a difference eight years makes, 70,126 little hours... Technically speaking, ONM has run for eight years and nine months, but that looksmessieronthepage.And whataneightyearsandninemonths.Backinits firstnewspagestheNintendoDSLitewasonits way,theNintendoDScelebratedonemillionUK salesandeveryonewasgettingpumpedforthe ‘Revolution’. Hilariously, theWii Remotewas called theRevolution FreehandController. Sexy! It’sa fascinatingread.Writtenbefore theWii conqueredtheworld,andduringtheperiodthat DSwasstillwarmingup,it’samagazineabouta differentNintendo.It’spurelyaboutgames,for one,withnoneofthetediousanalystspeakthat dominates modern gamingdiscussion.It wasn’t until NintendoDS andWiiblewup that Nintendo wentfromtoymaker toseriousbusinessconcern intheeyesoftheworld.Sincethen,detractorssee Nintendotoilingtheshadowofthatsuccess,while afanwhoplaysNintendo’sgames–that’syoulot –knowthegameshavenevershonebrighter.

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THE TOUCHGENERATION That sounds more doom and gloom than was intended. For a Nintendo writer, working in the post-DS/Wii world has been brilliant fun. The shift in gaming tastes is felt in everything from the number of dancing/karaoke/fitness games we have to review – apologies to sister mags for forcing them to endure our unsightly gyrations – to the way my mum isn’t embarrassed by my job any more. When I began writing for NGamer Behold: issue one of Official Nintendo Magazine. This might be worth something one day – bet you regret throwing away the packaging and free gifts now, eh?

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As Official Nintendo Magazine prints its final issue, Editor Matthew Castle ponders its last eight years and prepares to leave that tiny box on the left in 2006 shewouldtellfriendsIwasa“journalist in thespecialist press” andgrimaceslightly;now I’mthe“editorofaNintendomagazine”,andit’s said withpride(though shemaystillgrimace whenshegetsSuperSmashBros. forChristmas). Ifthisnewaudiencewaswelcomedtothefold bythelikesof Brain Training and WiiFit,theyears haveseenmoretraditionalgamingfarepercolate into theirlives. Thesisterwho startedonStyle Boutique nowlaughslikeadrainatTomodachi Life andpunishesme atPokémon. Ourinbox is fullofstoriesofmumshookedon Xenoblade or theteacher whoinvitesstudents totry and beat his Pullblox creations.Andwiththearrivalofthe Miiverse– a forumwith all themaliceremoved– thismightyspectrumofgamingtasteshaveafar betterhomethananymagor site couldoffer. I’dlieifIsaidtheteamwasn’tfeelingtheheat fromNintendo’srecentboutofsuperlativefanfacingcoverage. Abolishing itstraditionalE3 conferencefor a programme ofemployee-led insightnotonlytookusdeeperintoitsupcoming gamesbutintroducedustotheTreehouse,the charismaticlocalisationteamthatis nowpushed totheforefrontofNintendo’sonlinestreams.At atimewhenmanygamersbuttheadswiththe unknowablecorporate behemothsthat control theirhobby,Nintendogivesitsfansahumanface –turnsoutthenerdy,funnydialoguewaswritten bynerdy,funnypeople.Who knew? IWATA ASKED The last eight years and nine months also saw the emergence of the world’s (secretly) best games journalist: Satoru Iwata. Kyoto HQ’s notoriously tight lips – writing a news section is tough when a company is as leakproof as Nintendo – loosened for the Iwata Asks sessions. Each chat uncovered more about Nintendo practices and personalities than hundreds of journalistic probes combined. One personal favourite saw Ocarina of Time’s boss programmer, Kazuaki Morita, reveal how the game’s addictive fishing pond emerged from plopping a fish inside Morpha’s Water Temple

pool and realising that it was ripe for catching. In another, Rhythm Heaven’s graphic designer, Ko Takeuchi, admits to getting pulled into an arcade manager’s office after spotting Sega’s arcade port in the wild and photographing the girls playing it. Needless to say, Mr Iwata [laughed] at that one. The Nintendo fan of 2014 is so much better informed than his or her 2006 counterpart. I see readers singing the praises of directors, designers and producers we’d never heard of until Mr Iwata gave us all golden tickets to his digital chocolate factory. Figures like Katsuya Eguchi, Hideki Konno, Masahiro Sakurai and Kensuke Tanabe have long created magic for Nintendo, but it’s only recently that we’ve gotten to know them as well as Shigeru Miyamoto and Eiji Aonuma. The saddest bit of this last issue is knowing that a whole new generation of design talent waits just around the corner, and we won’t be here to cover it. At E3 we saw the arrival of the Splatoon boys, promising to give the third-person shooter a much needed shot of adrenaline/Dulux, and a ludicrously good team at Intelligent Systems currently working on Code Name S.T.E.A.M. Add to that recent victories working with Tecmo Koei (Hyrule Warriors) and Namco Bandai (Smash Bros.) andit reallyfeels like we’reenteringa newera. TURN THE PAGE What happens next? Being in the dark is part of the fun. If you’d told us eight years ago that we’d get to play Super Smash Bros. on a stereoscopic 3D portable device, or that Link would appear on a Mario Kart starting grid, we’d have spat out our Orange Fanta. Our review of the future starts on page 30, but by the time you read this the future might be a very different place. It’ll be a world where bedroom shelves sag under the weight of Amiibo collections, where beloved mascots duke it out in glorious HD, where a woollen dinosaur yanks apart knitted foes and where you saddle up Epona and ride as far as the eye can see. If it’s even a fraction as fun as the last eight years and nine months, we’ll be very lucky indeed.


Go to www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk to read the latest news…

Looking into our crystal ball, we would have given Wii U’s Zelda a huge 100%. Yoshi’s Woolly World is shaping into the perfect virtual comfort blanket.

15,580 Total number of ONM pages written over 114 issues. That’s a whole lotta Wispa Gold jokes.

136 Number of Wispa Gold jokes printed inONM. 135 written while Matthew was on the magazine. Weird, huh?

0 Number of readers who enjoyed the aforementioned 136 Wispa Gold jokes.

Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.

ONM won’t be around for its release, but you’ll definitely find the team playing online.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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Get daily news updates from www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk

Seldom have dead tree fibres wowed us more.

01 NAVIGATION Hey, listen! This map is well cool verlostyourbearingsinthewide expanse of Hyrule Field, only to be eaten by a wolf in the night? Well fear no more, adventurer: Alex Griendling has made you this swanky Hyrule map, hand-drawn and laserburned onto a big old slab of wood. It makes for a very cool piece of art as well as a car tographical tool. It’s based on the on-screen map from Ocarina of Time, but with a personal touch: “The only aspect of the map that I did not personally create is the Hylian type,” Griendling tells us. “I played through [Ocarina of Time 3D] while making the map, taking notes and sketching the whole time,” he explains. This meant that Griendling could include little details that weren’t on the in-game map: “The location of the Royal Family Tomb in the Kakariko Village Graveyard and Lord Jabu-Jabu behind Zora’s Domain are both examples of details I picked up on by playing through the game,” he says. All of the writing on the map is in Old Hylian, the language from Ocarina of Time. Griendling reckons he can speak it fluently after having to research the language so thoroughly – although it was a surprise to find out “how many variations of Hylian there are”. We can’t imagine it’s ahugely useful language to know, but if we ever need a translator in Hyrule, we’ll know who to call. http://bit.ly/ONMmaps

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NINTEND COUNTDOWN For Nintendo-heads, the games are only the beginning. Join ONM for a rundown of the coolest developments from the global fan community

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Follow us on Twitter for all the latest… @onm_uk

Someone needs to Charge Slash that overgrown grass quick-smart.

PAR FOR THE KOURSE

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Super Mario Some-Climb arkour is the art of jumping off of some things, and onto some other things, and sometimes even over things in the middle of those first two things, without getting hurton onesingle thing. It’s also known as freerunning,but it’s more than just running becausesometimes there’s a bit of jumping, too.Andthere is quite often a lot of falling – not all of whichwe’re sure is intentional, if we’re being completelyhonest. All of thattranslates rather well to video games,and the skill is currently a big thing in Minecraft. It essentially manifests as 3D platforming levels built byMinecraft enthusiasts thatrange from the scenic to the themed. This Super Mario offering falls into the latter category, but that’snot to say it doesn’t tick quite a few boxesof the former: aclosed-off first level soon opensintoa vast world of strange and wonderful things,all modded to resemble Super Mario assets.Marvel at the torches shaped like coins! Starein confusion at the cows dressed like Shy Guys!Weep in frustration as you tumble from the 100-foot precipice you spent the last two hours climbing! It’s tricky stuff – Minecraft wasn’t built to make platforming easy, but it’s great fun. You can download the modded map with the link we’ve provided below if you’re up for a bit of maddeningly challenging parkour/sightseeing/ platforming/dying plenty of times. We’ll see you in the skies. http://bit.ly/ONMminecraft

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Jumpingover, underand inthemiddle ofthingsis theonly wayto travel.

“Weep in frustration as you tumble down a 100 foot precipice!” Twitter: @onm_uk

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ONCE UPON A HERO OF TIME Anyone for posters of video games made to look like children’s books?

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oey Spiotto, AKA Joebot, brilliantly combines things he loved as a child with things he loves as an adult with his work – and luckily for us, his combinations of choice are video games made tolook likechildren’sbooks. “IdecidedtostartaserieswhereIturned some ofmy favouritevideogames into those littlegoldenbooksthatwehadaschildren,” Joebot explains. “The reception wasgreat, and soit’sbeen anongoingseries.” Atthemoment,Joe’sjustusinghis skillstodesignthecoverartforthe books–there’snostorytobefound inside, unfortunately. “If therewas a waythat couldbe possible,I, alongwith manyothers,wouldlovetoseetheseas realbooks,”he says. Butwhichvideogamedoeshethink wouldmakethebesttale?“Iwouldhave

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“I turned my favourite video games into little books we had as children”

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to say Zelda because that is my favourite Nintendo game ser ies by far.” NotF-Zero then? “It probably wouldn’t make the best story.” Spiotto’s works are enjoyed by adults and children alike, all around the world: “I’ve heard from many parents who can’t wait to get these to put them up in their new baby’s nursery, or in their children’s bedrooms,” he says. “I also hear from video game fans... including a few celebrities!” Oh, come on now Joe, we wouldn’t exactly call ourselves celebrities, you flatterer… http://bit.ly/ONMjoebot



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NES-TINGTABLES A table so good, you’ll flip a table ehaveanannouncementto make:we’regetting married. She’s perfect.She’ssmooth and dark,withperfectlegsanda removabletop.Also, she’s a table. Talented table-makerand creator of our dream girl-table Charles Lushearhas notonly madea lovely,wood-toned NEScontroller table – he’s alsomadeit entirelyfunctional. Ifyou find yourselfbaffled by tinyplastic controllers with theirteeny-weenylittle controlpads, thenthis is thetableforyou.Lookatthebuttons!Lookhow bigthey are! Imaginesmashingyour fistdown onthatAbuttonfortheworld’smostsatisfying boink on a Goomba’s head!

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If you’re the sort of person who buys NES wall art, no way your house is this tidy.

What’s that? Tables don’t fit in with your sheltered concept of what makes the perfect woman? Fine, you narrow-minded, shallow person – he also makes wooden wall art of NES and SNES controllers. Or a ukelele with Elmo’s face on it. Whatever floats your boat, man. http://bit.ly/ONMtablewife

Don’t rest a coffee on those buttons – one wrong move and you’ll blow up your house.

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SOLONG…FAREWELL… Kate’s (self-indulgently) compiled a nice list of things you can send her as leaving presents

01 Ditto “I’m going to need something to sob into now that I don’t get to write for you lovely idiots any more. This Ditto would do nicely. Maybe it can even morph into Generic ONM Reader, which I think is a Gen V Pokémon...” http://bit.ly/ONMetsy1

Twitter: @onm_uk

02 iPad case “I need to be reminded of what I’m missing out on, even when I’m working. Every time I have to write a review or a feature, I’ll have to look at this lovely iPad case and be reminded of what I’ve turned my back on. Sob.” http://bit.ly/ONMetsy2

03 A Link to the

Past skirt

04 Cross-stitch “ Paper Mario: The

“I always got lost in A Link to the Past , so this skirt will really come in handy. Maybe I can finally complete that game. Except it’s upside down. At least I’ll still be the most stylish person in the new office!”

Thousand-Year Door is my favourite game of all time. All others pale in comparison to this masterpiece. Also, I quite like cross-stitch. Anyone fancy making this for me? I’ll pay you in, er, respect.”

http://bit.ly/ONMetsy3

http://bit.ly/ONMetsy4

05 Heart

Container pillow “This heart container pillow is the snuggliest. I’ve been running low on hearts recently, so if you don’t want me to die and have my blood on your hands, you’ll post this to me ASAP, yeah?” http://bit.ly/ONMetsy5

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MASTER 06 OF SWORDS Stick ’em with the pointy end words. We love swords. Swords are nice and shiny. And pointy. And they never lie to us or hurt our feelings. Swords. A group of talented master blacksmiths in America make lots of swords, but not just any old swords – they make VIDEO GAME SWORDS. Therefore, the best kind of swords. Have we mentioned swords too much, already? Sorry. (We’re not actually sorry.) The incredible chaps at The Sword and the Stone have made a range of weaponry, from living sword Pokémon Honedge to the gorgeous Master Sword, as well as Sora’s KeybladefromKingdomHearts and Chrom’s Falchionfrom FireEmblem: Awakening. TheSwordandtheStonehavedonealoadof othercool stuff– suchas Batman’sbatarangs and Wolverine’s claws– but they’re notstrictly Nintendo-related,so shhhh. If you’d liketo purchaseone of thesefantastic piecesof metalwork,we have twothingsto say to you: firstly,please don’t kill people, evenif they dolooka bitlikeGanondorf (we thinkthat mighthavejustbeenaverytall,scaryginger man).Secondly: you can’t.But youcanwatcha seriesofvideoswheretheysmashthingsupwith saidweapons.That’sgoodenough. http://bit.ly/ONMswords

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Does that make this the Master Anvil? We want that as the next Zelda weapon.

INSTA-GAME Charles ‘voice of Mario’ Martinet’s new adventures in Hipsterland

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harles Martinet,the voiceof Mario,Luigi, Warioand, er, Paarthurnaxthe dragon from Skyrim, hasan Instagram account. Butthisisn’tjustany old Instagram account,filled with hipster-filtered amateur shotsof chips andhashtagslike#omg, #food,#sogood,and #LOL. It’s thestoryof one man,three plasticfigurinesand an adorably childlikesenseof humour. Eachshort video featuresthe moustachioed Italian plumbingbrothersdoingsomething cute, whether that’s pondering Portobello mushroomsin the supermarket or dancing to Caribbeanmusicinthepark. They’re voiced by Martinethimself, which– we’d like tothink – makesit allentirelycanon, andtherefore completely okaythat we’re watchingan oldguyplaying withdollsand talkingto himself.#LOL.

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D’you reckon they modelled Mario’s distinctive smile on Martinet?



08 LA PEACHETÀ Absolutely marble-ous aPietà isafamousstatue depictingMarycradlingthe crucified Jesus in herlap. It’s a piece thatrepresents sorrow, loss,death–andtheintense feelingofavideogameGameOver. At least, it does in the case of sculptor Kordian Lewandowski: he’s recreated the famous statue in polystyrene, with Peach looking forlorn and cradling a dead Mario in her lovely Princess arms. Our first thoughts were something along the lines of “That’s polystyrene?”, shortly followed by “OMG – that’s lifesize”, and then “I wonder if we could get this in the office”. This isn’t Lewandowski’s first foray into the world of reappropriating famous sculptures, either: we’ve also seen a beautiful reimagining of Donkey Kong as Rodin’s The Thinker . It just goes to show that you don’t need to be Michelangelo to create poignant Christian iconography. Sort of.

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NOT JUST 09 WHO WANTS 10 TO BE A MILLINER KURIBO’S SHOE Time for us to Converse with you about Super Smash Toes. Best foot forward… id you like that Limited Edition 3DS XL with all the Smash Bros. characters on it? You’ll love this, then: handpaintedConverse featuring a veritable smorgasbord (we think that’s the correct plural term) of Nintendo characters. People will gaze longingly at your feet, proclaiming “Goodness! Is that Ness?” as they try to stroke your kicks in a loving, yet slightly creepy and unwelcome manner. If that’s the kind of experience you want from your shoes, then look no further.

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Twitter: @onm_uk

Get a-head of the game

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f you’vealwayswanted tocosplay, butlackthe funds/ time/inhuman amount of effort to do so, then perhaps this is just what you’re looking for: two official versions of A Link Between Worlds’ heroes’ headwear. That’s right, Link and Ravio’s hats are now available for pre- order. You’ll definitely be the most stylish person in the room, as long as it’s quite a small room and most other people are in different rooms. The hats “should fit most human heads”. We’re all human out there, right? Right?

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Brief Bio Name Miiverse Position

Bespoke Social Network Miiverse was born in 2011, and has gone onto be a prominent part of the Nintendo organisation. Its hobbies include stamps and baseless anger about Smash Bros.

Miiverse

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Chat to us about this article on Twitter… @onm_uk

ONM: Hello Miiverse! How are you today?

For our last ever interview, we decided to talk to YOU, in the form of occasionally terrifying social network, Miiverse. It might well be our best ever.

MV: Is ONM ending? ONM: Er, let’s not get into that. Let’s start with another biggie instead: what do you see as Nintendo’s future?

spankings from those massive arms! I’d go with Link because he’s not only cool, but he can’t speak, so that means he can’t punish you. At least, not verbally.

MV: Ice Climbers. ONM: Wow, that’s a pretty niche series these days. What do you think is the most underrated game of all time? MV: I presume you mean Nintendo-related? Doshin the Giant! Quirky! Godly! Sexually suggestive! I played it again only a couple of days ago, and it still holds up. It’s quite unlike anything else. Or – and I risk torches and pitchforks with this one – I’d bring upStarfox Assault. Sure, it wasn’t ‘proper’ Starfox for the most part, but look beyond that and it isn’t so bad. ONM: And what of the future? Could you design a new Nintendo IP right now? Go! MV: It’s about a cute young witch. She has one friend, a demon friend! He is also cute! And they have to find some old stars and save your mansion! You don’t care about the rest of the world, you just want your mansion to be safe! You’re more of an anti-hero.

ONM: Your answer seems to revolve around parental discipline, Miiverse. Did you have a happy childhood? MV: I see a bearded ghost. Or Siamese twins. MV: I like to think I still am. Is ONM ending? ONM: On second thoughts, let’s talk about Nintendo again. Which three Nintendo characters would you invite to dinner? What would you discuss?

Co-Mii-dy Matthew’s favourite Miiverse moment was a Yeah-based joke competition against Joe. Joe definitely won that competition. He is also definitely not writing this bit.

MV: Diddy Kong, Link and Kirby. We wouldn’t say much, as Diddy doesn’t speak English, Link can’t speak at all and Kirby’s eating. ONM: Which Pokémon would you choose to eat?

MV: Playing Super Mario Bros. 3 with my grandma. We would play that thing all day and all night, handing off a controller every time someone lost a life. We had an entire notebook dedicated to that game. We kept track of the memory card games and all the secrets. We did the same thing withSuper Mario World.

MV: Miltank. Miltank steak. With a glass of Miltank milk.

ONM: If, as Shakespeare wrote, ‘music be the food of love’ what does that make games?

ONM: Which Nintendo executive would make the best James Bond?

MV: The food that stops you from performing self-love.

MV: Non-specific Action Figure. Don’t tell Iwata.

ONM: We stuck around for eight years. Where do you see yourself on your eighth birthday?

ONM: Which third-party developer would you like Nintendo to buy? What would they make?

ONM: Which Nintendo character would have been the best magazine intern for ONM?

MV: Sega. Just for Shenmue.

MV: I’d say Nikki from Nintendo Letterbox. She’s not doing anything nowadays, poor girl. [Sigh]

ONM: Of course, Miiverse is a place for more than just games, so tell me – what do you think of the world’s current precarious financial situation? Any suggestions for the banks? AR: Sterilise the drinking water. ONM: Wow. That was odd. Allow us to use an old psychological technique on you. Please tell us what you see in this Rorschach Test we created using the Miiverse sketch tool:

Twitter: @onm_uk

ONM: Why do you keep asking that? Stop it. Let’s think of something more fun. What’s your favourite memory of a Nintendo console?

ONM: Satoru Iwata hands you a £20 note and asks you to buy him a gift – what do you get him? MV: Let’s see. I’d got for baby oil, a Shrek plushie, and a course in advertising. ONM: If you had to have a Nintendo character for a dad, who would it be? MV: Definitely not Waluigi – imagine the

MV: Implanted into brains to harvest the human subconscious, thereby allowing Nintendo to develop content more relevant to public interest and improve user experience. Go the future! ONM: Thank you, Miiverse. Thank you for everything. This interview’s Miiverse was a hive mind of users, comprising MartynIsAdequate, Thecoolmana777 , Strange_Cookie, bishop86 , Crazy _Goomba_123 , SeanMik, Jonny.N, PICOLA, Badham, tehkfc99 , olympusmons, Redarrow 232 , slunchy 56 , brwdladr, KyonChannel, OKIVA77 , SophWii, and CyberGW. Thanks, you possibly dangerous social media maniacs. Oh, one last thing: Shrek for Smash Bros.!

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Get daily news updates from www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk . n c o i n m é K k A o E P R F © E u k M a A k G i / K . c R J n / I o s r e P r o t u h a S / e r o C y k / o o d T n V e T t / i n K A N E 4 R 1 F 0 E 2 5 M 9 A 9 1 G / © s . e r n u o t a m e r é k C o / o P d 4 n 1 e 0 t 2 n © i N t c e © j o r P u h c a k i P 4 1 0 2 8 9 9 1 ©

LITTLE AND LARGE Have your eyes grown fat and lazy on a diet of XL-sized screenery? Fear not, for Nintendo has made a New version of both the 3DS and its chubbierbrother. The New Nintendo 3DS gets the bigger makeover of the two: its screen is 1.2-times the size of the original, while XL sees no change. The New XL is lighter than the old, however, meaning you can enjoy that4.88 -inch screen with less chance of it weighing your trousers down in public.

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REASONS TO LOVE

THE NEW NINTENDO 3DS Just like Dr Who, history’s only glassless 3D handheld has reinvented itself yet again ustwhenyouthoughtyou couldn’tpossiblyspareany more spaceinyourpocketsforanother Nintendohandheld console, alongcomesIwatawithanew, updated version with morefeatures, add-ons andimprovementsthanyoucanshakeasecond analoguestickat. It’sbadnewsforpockets: you’re goingto wantone.

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We won’t spoil it too much, because we’ve written a lot of lovely words about all the lovely new features and we’d quite like you to read them, but we will say that it ’s quite an exciting move from Nintendo, though some of the improvements aren’t all that obvious. The 3DS took a while to get going, but once it did, it took the idle thumb world by storm, providing us with some of this console

generation’s best games while simultaneously giving weak-eyed us a mild 3D headache. This upgrade is close in tone to the DSi – a visual make-over with some smart feature refinements, extra input possibilities and a not inconsiderable bump in power. So without further ado, let ’s have a little bit of a nosey around 10 of the new New 3DS’s new bits that are truly new.



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SECOND ANALOGUE… THING

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IT’S REYNTIME (AGAIN)

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MICRO SDCARDS

What isthis? A button? An analogue stick?We’re goingwith ‘nubbin’for now, partly because that’s whatwe callthose similarmouse button things on laptops, partlybecausewe like saying‘nubbin’. Thisnubbin functions asa second analoguestick, usedmostlyin gamesto control theview foreasieraim andjustgenerally tohavea look around. Does this mean a different styleofgamesinfuture?Waitandsee…

Thefirstoftheseexclusives?Aport of themagnificent Xenoblade Chronicles –agamewe’reamazedranonWii,let alonea 3DS.And yethereit is:thosemagnificent rolling(Guar)plains, thehundredsof hoursof content,the… irritatingvoicesamples. Yes, it’s a bummerthatNintendo isdividing 3DSowners into thehaves andhave-nots,but man, what a sweetargument forjoining the haves. Scrimpand save,dear readers.

The current modelsof 3DSand 3DS XLtakeastandard-sizedSDorSDHC card,aboutthesizeofastamp,whichhold 2GB or 4GBofdata.TheNewmodelswilltake 4GB microSDcards,whichareaquarterofthesize. It’sperhaps notthe mostexciting update, we’lladmit,butthe microSDis a whole1.5g lighterthan an SD card. Thatadded svelteness shouldallowfor slightlyless wrist strain when foolishly one-handing thething on thebus.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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TASTETHEBUTTON RAINBOW

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FACIAL CAMERA TRACKING

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BUILT-IN NFC

It’sbacktotheglorydaysofSNES, whenmenweremen,womenwerewomen,and buttons weremore colourful thana postSkittles-bingeupchuck.None of thisgrey nonsense– we’re allaboutmatching ourbuttons toouraccessories,andour accessories are, a box full ofLEGOandmoreSkittles (we neverlearn). Weirdly, colouredbuttonsare exclusiveto the 3DS– XLfanciers arestuck inBlandVille.

You’veprobably hadthat somewhat mind-bendingexperienceof viewingthe 3DS fromever so slightlythe wrong angle, where suddenlythe lovely immersive layers turninto jagged eye-nightmares. Fearno longer:the New 3DS’s facialcameratrackingis goingto make surethat won’t happen again, because it always knowswhereyouare.New 3DSjustwantsto watch you.To always be nearyou. Forever.

The recentannouncementof the Amiibofigurines– a collectionof statues representing Nintendocharacters that interact with the Wii U’sNFC-enabledGamePad – hadusall excitedabout thepossibilities:new characters,stages, levels, tracksand probably morebesides. NowtheNew 3DS is alsoNFC-enabled,which justexcitesus evenmore. Wecan’t handle this muchexcitement. Help.

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MORE POWER!

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INTERCHANGEABLE PLATES

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MORE BUTTONS!

Just as DSi pumped up the DS’s CPU to deliver fancier features, so the New 3DS boasts more bang for your buck. A faster CPU means speedier downloads, a slickerMiiverse experience and improved functionality: Smash Bros. for 3DS only supports Miiverse screenshot sharing on the New 3DS, for example. More controversially, it also means New 3DS-exclusive games that are only possible with sturdier guts…

You’ve always craved one of those lovelylimited edition 3DS XLs, haven’t you? Crave no more:limited editions are a thing of the past. All those shiny Pikachu covers your friends have been smugly parading round while you have to make do with your terribly unfashionable CosmoBlue 3DS – well, now you can switch between as many cover plates as you like. Your 3DS can have more costume changes than Cher.

As if that new C-stick wasn’t enough, you also get the chance to apply your twitchy fingers to some brand new buttons. Mirroring the Wii U GamePad, the New 3DS now comes with ZL and ZR bumpers, for that home console, multi-input index finger feeling. That’d be fun enough, but considering Wii U Smash Bros. can be played with a 3DS, we wouldn’t be surprised to see those extra buttons coming in handy again soon...

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Yuga Says Turns out there’s no place for serious art criticism in the new world order. Turfed out on my ass. #justiceforyuga

The Legend Of Zelda Name Arthur Mask From Brazil

YUGA’S Everyone’s a critic, no more so than Lorule’s arty antagonist… Got a beautiful work of art you want Yuga to cast an evil eye over? Tough luck. The gallery is closed. All submissions will be incinerated.


No More Shel ls For You Name TommasoRe nieri From Italy

Yuga Says I get it! It’s like that film! Theone where the animal thing’s mum gets shot. Absolutely hilarious.

Baby Xerneas Name Hime-Nyan

A S r ang C o y N a Fr o

r UK

From Germany

Yuga Says What the hell, Tim Moore? Why would you even draw this? That hurts, man. I cut my fingernails.

9 Volt Name PiaCoppins

SeekingBeauty In AnUgly World Name TimMoore From USA

Tak e Flight Ok ami Name Unodu Fr om C anada

From UK

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WORLD OF NINTENDO

A load of dots in the shape of a map, covered in some stories about Nintendo

Death of Print Location UK

The Earth mourns as Official Nintendo Magazine shuts down its colossal word factory (i.e. one sweaty person’s fingertips) for the very last time.

Go Clubbing Location Canada

Canadian Nintendo fans will be getting an interactive treat in the form of Super Smash Club, an online community built around swapping Smash Bros. art, cosplay and the like.

Smash Hit Location US

It’s confirmed – running Smash Bros. 3DS will allow youto use your handheldas a controllerin the Wii U version. Convenient!

Block Party Location Europe

That’s the Stuff Location US

US branches of Toys ‘R’ Us are including these10-inch plushies of Mega Charizards X andY with pre-ordersof Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire.

Rectangle-obsessed indie platformerultra-darling, Thomas Was Alone will be coming to Wii U, courtesy of Stealth Inc. 2 publishers, CurveDigital.

Highly Recommended: this month’s top game releases Super Smash Bros. 3DS Out Now It’s back, it’s brilliant and we’re still not sure how Sakurai’s packed it all into this dinky version.

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Bayonetta 2

Bayonetta

Out 24 October Swords with faces, fights inside hell-stingrays and the greatest dodge in gaming – you really should play this now.

Out 24 October Which witch? Why not both? Hideki Kamiya’s original is still one of the greatest action games of all time.



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Open Season

Precious Metal

Location Europe

Location Japan

With four DLC packs on the way, a Hyrule Warriors season pass is a pretty tempting proposition for fans – not least because you get a bonus Dark Link costume with it.

Not just content to release The Wonderful 101 album on iTunes – Platinum went the whole hog and set up an entire record label, Polaris Tone, to do so..

: y x a l a G o i r a M r e p u S

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: e m i T f o a n i r a c O

Votingforthe best Nintendogameof alltimewas,well, inconclusive.See howwe resolved thatonpage 70.

114 The number of issues of ONM we made for you. Thanks, everyone.

GAMING TOP 10 The games you’ve been buying this month

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MARIO KART 8

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NEWSUPERMARIOBROS.U NINTENDO

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SUPERMARIO3DWORLD

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NEW SUPER LUIGI U

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DONKEY KONG COUNTRY: TROPICAL FREEZE

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SONIC LOST WORLD

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FIFA 13

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RAYMAN LEGENDS – UBISOF T Mario Kart 8

remains racing ahead of the rest of the pack this month. All is as it should be in the world. Good.

Sonic the Hedge-mog Location Japan

Japanese Monster Hunter 4 fans get Sonic DLC for their Felyne friends – and Europe should get the same treatment next year.

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TOMODACHI LIFE

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The New 3DS won’t just bolster Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate with its handy new C-stick – it also helps speed up the game’s many loading passages with its heftier CPU. Very slick!

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POKÉMON X

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ANIMALCROSSING:

CP-ooh!

Most Played

NEW LEAF 5

Super Smash Bros. for 3DS

Teslagrad Bayonetta 2 Stealth Inc.2 Bayonetta

Twitter: @onm_uk

NEWSUPERMARIO BROS. 2

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MARIOKART 7

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LEGOMOVIEVIDEOGAME

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KIRBY: TRIPL EDELUXE

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HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2

“Sweeping up the office”

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LITTLE ORBIT

TomodachiLife remains the weirdest number one we’ve had for some time. Hurrah!

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Waystoconnect OuijiBoards Talking to your household ghost

Seances Invading Hades

CONNECT How do you communicate with ONM? Er, well – about that... The author of the Star Letter won a 3DS or Wii U game. Notice the past tense, there. AS BEEN WITH ME Lastweek, I was told I would be moving house, so like anynormal person I packed my Nintendo goodies first,including my issues of ONM. Looking over these issuesI realise how much ONM has been with me, be it theProfessor Layton cover issue I first bought in 2010 ortheone that finally made me subscribe. ONM has beenanintegral part of my gaming history. But i t has caused me some frustration – such as the time I thought my subscription had run out right before the big 100th issue, so I took out another subscription, resulting in having two. Or the

week I bought my dog and came downstairs to see he’d destroyed the cover of one of my mags. These stories aside, I love the magazine and how it’s helped me develop as a gamer, thank you. Gavin Johnston, via email

Thank you. We’re sad that we won’t be able to further contribute to your dog’s stomach contents, but we think we’re going out on a high, and knowing that some of you folks have appreciated our hard graft and effortless stupidity over the years fills our blackened soulswith something approaching real happiness.

nt a taste of this glory? Sorry, we’re closed. Go away now, we’ve taken all the games anyway.

MARIO’S DUTIES Let’sgetdowntobusinesshere.I’vestumbled uponNinty’snext mascot. UtilisingthePokémon Fusion sitefeaturedin issue 112,Icreatedthe perfect’Mon totake over Mario’s duties: Weeyu. No explanationneeded!The attached picture is myownrenditionofthemajesticcreature. MatthewDavies,viaemail

Theproblemis thatmascot Mariorepresents childhood glee,a sense ofadventure and vocationaluniversity courses. As forthe Weeyu,while on-brandinterms of nameand franchise,itlookslikesomething you’dfind growingunderan oldbucket.We’re sorry, butit’s nodice.

A heartbreaking tale, well told. We very much hope to see the movie – emblazoned with an appropriate “Based on a true story” tagline, naturally – starring Peter Dinklage as Lemmy, Jason Statham as Luigi and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson playing all the kartsvia mo-cap.

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED Itwasonthe 150ccSpecialcup, MarioKart 8. Allhewantedwastobecrownedthebestkart racerin theMushroom Kingdom.But that day would have towait. Lemmy,with hisYoshiBike andCyberSlicktires, hadgotall threestarsin everycup before, andherehe wason Rainbow Road.He wasclean through onthe finishlineon thelastlapbuttheblueshelldeniedit.Just beforetheline,heflippedintotheairandhislast sightbeforegainingback controlwas Luigi’s deathstare, asthatgreen blur crossed theline. Thisactuallyhappened. CalumLeitham, via email

The N64 and the GameCube have much in common. During this time, when Nintendo coughed, a timeless classic would be produced. And when they’d sneeze, the infrequent dud would be quickly forgotten. Gems likeSuper Mario 64, Ocarina of Time, Luigi’s Mansion and Super Smash Bros. Melee all stem from this era. Yet today, times have changed. You get the occasional hit but they all seem to lack that certain something, that “spark”. When can we expect Nintendo to regain this spark, to once again brim with creative brilliance, or is it a time never to be repeated? Aaron McCarthy, via email

@onm_uk WHY IS EVERYONE FUPPING LEAVE WHY?! NEXT YOU L TELL ME MATTHEW LEFT TOLEARN MATHS

@onm_uk I was just wondering if Official Nintendo Magazine was ing and then it pops up like a zombie.

@FirlowXD Good news: he’s not leaving to bone up on his algebra. Bad news: he is definitely leaving. Bad luck, dude.

@TheLoneAssassin We’re happy to have haunted you. Sadly, as we are all aware, zombies have a bad habit of getting shot in the head.

On-brand. Also on Baron Frankenstein’s reject pile.

Tweet Tweet! Twitter’s our favourite outlet for fun, but now we’re all just weeping. Want to see Matthew, Joe or Kate in the ONM afterlife? Well then, go follow @mrbasil_pesto , @2plus2isjoe and @_hownottodraw .

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Facebook Our Facebook page is also bulging with your opinions. No doubt it still will be long after we’re gone. Forhalfasecond,Iglancedata Splatoon screenshot,noticing theHD,andthought“NEW MARIOSUNSHINE”.I am nowdisappointed. AustinPhilpot I’vebeen LOVING ShovelKnight. It manages toperfectly capture that 8-bitretro game feel withoutdirectlyreferencing any 8-bit games, whichis prettyamazing.Love it! JosephBroughton

It’s heartening to see how much the magazine has meant to people. Take Ben (@NinDorkKnight), who bought up his local Oxfam’s stock of ONM back issues. Wait. That’s why our sales are so low? You heartless monsters.

It’s our final issue, Aaron(we’re not sure ifwe made thatclearenough),so allowus tocutloose fromour usual diplomatictone andsay: what areyouonabout? Post-GameCube we’vehadthe Galaxy games, MarioKart8 , SkywardSword – eacharguably thepinnacle oftheir franchises – Nintendo funded projectslike The Wonderful101 , and thekindofmadnessno-oneelsewould even attemptstilltocomeonthehorizon, from Splatoon tofittingthe entiretyof Xenoblade onto a cartridgethe lengthofan adolescent stickinsect. We’reinanageof creativitythatwe haven’t seenfrom Nintendosince theearly days. Thespark hasn’tgoneoutinthem – maybe it’sgone inyou. Shots fired.

“Nin is notendo goldw in a of bl en age crea azing tivity ”

gettinga guiltyverdictfor gigglingat the witness’ name.I amsurethatthiswould begreat funtowriteandevenbettertoread. BenTedds,viaemail

Sadly,the timeis upforany more ONM features – which maywell be a luckybreak inthis case. Youseemtohaveforgottenthatthepunishment formurder inthe Phoenix Wright universeis death,Ben,meaningyou’re askingus towritehilariousstoriesthat endin theuntimely executionof a totally innocentperson. Sick.

PRE-SQUASHED GOOMBA

Thefirstruleof Pokkén isyou don’ttalk aboutPokkén. NashVonBash AsmuchasIlovetheVirtual Console,nothingbeats thefact IstillhavemyoriginalNintendo, andplay thesegames on thatinstead! Pauly Smallman I stand for everyone who ever plays games on a PC. They recently elected me as their king, don’t you know. I speak for my people. Ben Lee Houldsworth

Previously, On ONM Podcast… Check out our Podcast, available now and forever on iTunes.

I’m here with a suggestion for a new, one-off feature. I call it ‘Phoenix Wrong’. Each of your writers creates a murder or some sort of crime, a defendant and a witness, and writes the case out in the style of an argument between Phoenix, the prosecution, the Judge and the witness, Phoenix ultimately bluffing his way to the wrong person getting convicted; accidentally revealing damning evidence; or just

Afterhearingina NintendoDirect that MarioMaker f ortheWiiU allows youto switch between modern and 8-bitgraphics, I can’twait toplayas theoriginal, blocky, moustachioed plumber in my own levels. However, I got bored of waiting for the game’s release, so I decided to make a Mega LEGO Mario! It’s around 62cm high, consists of over 1,140 bricks and took me six hours to complete. Sadly it’s too big to make a full-scale stage, but how about making a pre-squashed Goomba or Koopa Troopa to go with him? Nash Miles, via email

@onm_uk I was listening to an old podcast and guys I need your help, ening. Mr. Worthington has come for tea!

@onm_uk, can you stop giving me double sided posters where es are amazing? It’s way toohard to choose... :(

Chris: This question is from George Matthews, and he asks: [adopts insane, unidentifiable accent] Do you think that Nintendo and Game Freak will release a Pokemon gameTom: [Interrupting] Is that Welsh? Joe: I feel a bit uncomfortable about that. Was that racist? [Matthew begins laughing, and does not stop] Gav: That was definitely racist. Joe: I don’t know which race it was, but it was probably racist. Gav: It was definitely xenophobic. Joe: There are probably five or six races now that are quite upset with you. Chris: I was going for Deep Welsh. Tom: I didn’t understand anyway, read it again. Joe: Well, that’s racist as well! Chris: Yeah, Tom! What’s wrong with Scottish?

@ech_and_stuff Abandon all hope, ye who encounter Mr. Worthington. Alternatively, all ye who relisten to old podcast episodes.

@Ambler3 This is probably the nicest complaint we’ve received about our papery gifts. We’d know – we got a lot of complaints.

Staysubscribed to the ONM Podcast for one last goodbye podcast. One day. Hopefully.

SOMESORT OF CRIME

Twitter: @onm_uk

The magazine is dead, and like an Egyptian pharoah’s cat, the Podcast must die with it. As a treat, here’s an outtake from the old days.

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Waystoconnect Timetravel Discover the Netherworld

Inexplicableportals Nostalgia + imagination

Have your say!

ASKOFFICIAL NINTENDO MAGAZINE ANYTHING Got a question you’d like the team to answer? Tough luck, buster – this is the last ever instalment. Go look on Wikipedia or something? It’ll be fine. Confession time. Can each member of staff on the magazine reveal which Nintendo franchises they haveyettoplayagameof(ifany)? JoshStevens,via Facebook

Going by this concept art, we’d welcome any Metroid Next Level want to make.

Usually, we wouldn’t answer something like this for fear of our overlords coming down on us like a tonne of P45s but, given that that doesn’t matter anymore, here goes. Joe refuses to play Nintendogs because the fluffy little Tamagotchis in disguise freak him out; Kate hadn’t laid more than cursory hands on Super Smash Bros. before the 3DS version came along; and Matthew has yet to play any version of Mario Tennis (largely because he claims to look better in the kit than any of the characters). Any word on a Metroid title making its way towards 3DS any time soon? Ricardo Lopez,via Facebook It’s been such a very long time since we’ve gotten to write about a new Metroid, and we’re rather sad we won’t get to again, so let’s use this as an excuse. As we pointed out a few issues ago, Nintendo are keen to release a new game, but whether it comes out on Wii U or 3DS – and who makes it in the first place – is up for some debate. Prime creators Retro were called a “high priority” by Shigeru Miyamoto, and they’ve just started hiring for what seems to be a Wii U project. On the other hand, secretive sources recently claimed that Next Level were working on a 3DS Metroid – even showing off some concept art (above) – before they started serious work on Luigi’s Mansion 2. The studio’s been awfully quiet since announcing they were now working exclusively for Nintendo… Could that project have been resurrected? We look forwardtofinding outas much asyou do. So like, if Yoshi lays eggs, is he a girl or what? Christopher Waclaw Twardosz, via Facebook

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Well, it depends on if you’re talking about the Yoshi or a Yoshi. Yoshis are a race that can independently lay eggs (which isn’t that unusual – even Komodo dragons have been known to reproduce asexually, so science is on weird old Nintendo’s side for once). Yoshi’s referred to as male, but he’s more likely a hybrid gender, or even something akin to common amphibians likenewts,whocanswitchsexasrequired. Thatorhe’satotallyfictionalcharacterwith no bearingon reality.Yourcall. Outof Golden Sun, Advance Wars andTheWorldEndsWith You,whichoneislikelytogeta 3DSentryfirst? Rachael Nicholas, viaFacebook You can count Advance Wars out straight away. Its creators, Intelligent Systems, are working on XCOM-y tactical shooter Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. and Shin Megami Tensei X Fire Emblem, so we most likely can’t expect much more from them for a while. It’s been four years since the last Golden Sun, and Camelot have been quiet since finishing work on Mario Golf: World Tour , but it’s not exactly a hopeful situation. Co-creator Hiroyuki Takahashi has previously said that the effort required and demand for the games might not add up to another sequel.

We’d tentatively say The World Ends With You is most likely to get a 3DS entry first – if only because the recent iOS port included a fairly honking hintat theend regardinga sequel. What is the darkest thing you guys have done? Christopher Oddie, viaFacebook It’s probably going to be closing this magazine. Or that thing with the duck. And just how exactly are you going to cope with increasingly fewer staff? Michael Devidge, via Facebook We can’t. [puts on single leather glove, opens small glass case with key, pushes huge red button.] Goodbye.


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We’ve always got one eye on Miiverse, but now that eye is full of salty, salty tears. We can’t even see Miiverse now. ’Tis but a haze of memory and pain – a lost love, a reminscence dimmed by time. Remember all the pictures of Willem Dafoe in the Rabbids Land community? Brilliant.

Pixels made of rectangles? This twisted world we live in sees no limit to its trickery. Cool statue, though.

You’reright, a full stageat this scaleis simply out of the question unless you live in an incredibly long house – like a train tunnel. That said, we think you’re missing a trick by not making Mario blocks out of blocks. And then those big blocks of Mario blocks, all made up of blocks. Blocks within blocks within blocks! Where does the madness end? Who am I? Am I block? Hahahaha. HAHAHA!

REAL PASSION I am a 13-year-old reader and have started thinking about what I may want to do when I’ve left school. I was just wondering what sort of things I would need to achieve in the coming years to be considered for a job at ONM? I am thinking of starting a Nintendo gamethemed blog on the internet – Nintendo games have become a real passion of mine in the past couple of years and I enjoy writing, so a job which includes reviewing them seems an ideal option for me. Christopher Millis, via email

This is a question we’re asked all the time, so let’s make our final answer an uncharacteristically informative one. There are plenty of routes into games writing. Some of us did English degrees, others did Masters courses in journalism, some did work experience, some wrote blogs, and ex-Online Editor Tom swore by a weekly blood ritual to a twisted, goat-like deity. The point is, every ONM writer has one thing in common – heaps and heaps of practice. We wrote as much as we could about what we loved, and then kept doing it once we started getting paid for it. With a tonne of work under your belt and a small dose of luck, you can be earning belowaverage bucks with us lot in no time. That said, we would recommend at least a PhD in advanced physics if you want to be on ONM. You’ll need a time machine for that one.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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FEATURE REVIEW OF THE FUTURE

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Review of the Future You may have worked out by now that ONM isnomore–and yet Nintendo has so much more in store for us. Youonly need look at this page to realise how many gamesare in the offing. As seasoned egomaniacs, we feel theneed topostulate, prattle and pontificate about all of them, yet we’ll never getthe chance. How have we solved this problem? By turning our previews section into a stream of speculative reviews. Over the next 16 pages, you’ll find every game we think’s worth looking out for, and some (possibly tongue-in-cheek) early verdicts. From true colossi to experimental indie games, we’vegotatotally uninformed idea of how they’ll play. Help us say goodbye by sayinghelloto what you’ll be playing for the next couple ofyears... Twitter: @onm_uk

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Utter carnage is only ever one swipe of a sword/tap of B away.

November 2015

We’ve never seen 35 years’ worth of chaos so highly defined Key details

Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Sora / Bandai Namco

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y the time you’re reading this, chances are you’ve already rushed out and bought Super Smash Bros. on 3DS and have spent the last few weeks with your handheldattached to your trembling mitts, forcing it away only to replenish your energy withfoodand fluids before once again grasping onfortheride of your life. Or something. Theimportant thing to remember is, this is arguably only the appetiser. In the world of Smash Bros., the 3DS version is the calamari andchicken wings to the Wii U sirloin steak. First and foremost, it’s in HD. Yes, we knowthe Wii U has been out for nearly two years now and the novelty of seeing Nintendo gamesinhi-def is starting to wear off, but we aren’tjustt alking about how beautiful it’s going tolookthis time (though clearly it will). No, friends, this time we’re focusing on function rather than form. SmashBr os. is a manic game at the best of times:four players on the screen, assist trophies andPokémon popping up to attack, weapons flyingallaround and other background hazards likeenemies or racing cars zooming about. It can descend into carnage at any time. The 3DS does itsbest,but most owners of Smash Bros. on3DS will concede that at times (especially on a rd 3DS rather than an XL), it can be tricky tomakeout what’s going on. In shiny, detailed HD, that problem will be a thing of the past.

“ Tebigscreen gameplayisalso goingtomakeit more fun in multiplayer”

The big screen gameplay is also going to make it more fun in multiplayer, which is what Smash Bros. is really all about. With four players, expect lashings of what we believe today’s youth refer to as ‘top bantz’, whether you’re using a Wii U GamePad, Pro Controller, Classic Controller, GameCube controller (with an adapter) or even the 3DS itself to control your character of choice. It’s online multiplayer that will really set the Wii U version apart from its diminutive sibling, though. The 3DS version does have online multiplayer, but its battery-sapping potential means handhelds have never really been suited to it and given the choice we’d much prefer having lengthy online sessions on our TV. “What’s different though?”, we can hear you wailing like a wolf with its tail caught in a beehive. For starters, while the character roster – including the amazing hidden fighters like the Duck Hunt Dog and Bowser Jr – will be the same across both platforms, many of the stages in the Wii U version are completely different. Whereas the 3DS game had stages based on handheld games like Nintendogs and Tomodachi Life, the Wii U version will offer environments from the likes of Star Fox, Super Mario Galaxy and Pilotwings. Similarly, the collectible trophies will be different. While the 3DS and Wii U versions www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk


StarFox

How Nintendo aims to harness the power of McCloud

intendodoesn’t likeshowing Format WiiU gamesuntil Publisher they’re almostready. This Nintendo madeitsdecisionto Developer reveal a newMiyamotoNintendoEAD helmed Star Foxbehind Out 2015 thescenesatE 3 unexpected.Its current situation perhaps forcedits hand – Iwata isevidentlykeen to demonstrate thatthe company’splans to makemoreinventiveuseoftheGamePad arebearingfruit–butitalsoservedasan introductionto Nintendo’snew internal development programme,called Garage. Garage wasconceivedto encourage younger Nintendostaff to formsmall teams toworkonnewideas.Thetheoryisthatit will foster creativity,and allowNintendo to makemore gamesfaster. Onceideas have progressed to an advanced stage,Miyamoto andother experiencedheads joinin, rejecting someand invitingothersto continue, nowwith an expanded developmentteam. Initially, thislooks a lotlike Star Fox 64:you viewthe Arwing from behind, while portraits of Slippy,Peppy andFalcobabble awayinthecornerofthescreen.Controls area littledifferent: theleftanaloguestick movesyourship,withtherightstickusedfor boosts, braking and,yes, barrel rolls. Lookdown at theGamePad display, however, and you’ve gota Fox’s-eyev iew throughthe Arwing’scockpit, asyouaim withthegyroscope.The idea isthatyou locatetargetsontheTV,thenfocusonthe smaller screento takethem down.What lookslikeastandardStarFoxgameis actually anythingbut, though if you’re struggling,youcanropeinapartner–oneof yougunningdown bogeys whilethe other concentrateson flyingand dodging. MiyamotohaslikenedittoaTVseries, suggestingan episodic adventure.In truth, we’re nottoo fussed aboutthe format; we’re justhappyto see FoxMcCloudback doing whathedoesbest.

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The Wii U version draws on environments such as Star Fox and Pilotwings.

will share some of the same trophies, many are think it would be a massive stretch to suggest Nintendo might do the same with Smash Bros. six unique to each system meaning you’ve got a months or a year down the line. Imagine if, just as whole lot more collecting to do. There’ll be even more music, too. The 3DS everyone feels they’ve mastered the game, version has a wealth of amazing music but Nintendo adds Waluigi to the line-up. Or because of the limitations on cartridge size each Professor Layton. Or Birdo. Or brings back the Ice stage only has two tracks. Not that we’re Climbers (the 3DS version couldn’t handle them but the Wii U one certainly could). complaining, but the Wii U version will blow that Of course, this is purely guesswork, and away with each stage featuring a plethora of different music tracks to unlock and enjoy. there’s a chance Nintendo won’t add DLC to Smash Bros. on Wii U will also support Amiibo Smash Bros. But even if it doesn’t it’s almost figures out of the box (the 3DS version won’t get certain that what’s already on the disc is going to support for them until 2015). Scanning one of the be the ultimate love letter to all things Nintendo. figures will let you save your progress to them, With the 49 characters from the 3DS version making the jump over to hi-def, the all-new Skylanders style, levelling up your own unique stages and trophies, the massively increased character and customising their special moves. Then, when the3DS version does eventually get soundtrack, the online multiplayer and the support, you’ll be able to beam your newly Amiibo support, if this isn’t the definitive Smash levelled-up character over to that version. Bros game we’ll eat our Link hats. So once it’s out, where do we go from there? Chris Scullion Well, usually we don’t like to speculate but since this is the last Verdict issue and this whole Sofun, streetbrawling isnow legal section is about We’ve punched, like, twelve dudesoutsidepubs speculating, what the Oh, and the game’s great too, obviously hey. Given the recent massive response to We can’t stop looking at household items as weaponry the Mario Kart 8 now. Baths are like special armour, eggs are gloopy downloadable bombs and the cat is a sort of furr y cutlass. Brilliant. characters, we don’t

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Twitter: @onm_uk

Chris Schilling

Verdict Turnsout thatMiyamoto insisted onbeing shipped alongwithevery copy. As such, itwas thebest ever.

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This is either a winning move or Pikachu’s take on Gangnam Style.

28 November

Rub y /Al p ha Sa pp hire Te first 3DS remakes could be the franchise’s crown jewels

Keydetails Format 3DS Publisher Nintendo Developer Game Freak

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rimalGroudoneruptsfromitsPokéBall andfacesitsfoe.Thecamerapansaround astheyeyeeachother.Withasatisfying ping,itsabilitykicksinandtheskyisset onfire.The opposingVenusaur Megaevolves – butaFlamethrowertakesitdown.Fromwhat we’ve seenso far,Pokémon OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire epitomiseeverything welove abouttheseries.They’rethefirstevolutionsof oldPokémon titlesto appear on 3DS,andthey havethe makingsof greatness. After thehugeleaptheseriestooklastyear, theseversionsseeHoenncastinXandY’s cel-shaded, immersivestyle. The original Ruby andSapphirehadtheirfairshareofcinematic moments in 32-bit,andthenewversionsare sights tobehold – whether you’re talkingabout blindingdesert sands, an underseatunnel, mountains reflected in water’s glass-like surface, Latios soaring through the sky or footage Mossdeep City’s rocket. The old conceits scrub up very nicely indeed in stereoscopic3D. But there’s more to this buffet than eye candy. The early reveal of the press-stopping Mega Metagrosswas the first in a long list of upgraded favourites from Slowbro to Diancie. Version mascots Groudon and Kyogre also enjoy a Primal Reversion feature. The former gains the bespoke Desolate Land ability, completely negating its quadruple weakness to water, and the ocean titan gets Primordial Sea, extinguishing fire

attacks and blocking weather alteration moves. That cataclysmic face-off just got a lot more epic. New gameplay ideas arrive by way of Super Secret Bases. The perfect fit for the handheld’s StreetPass feature, this causes other real-life trainers to appear in your in-game hidey-hole, offering items, battles and other unlockables. Contests also make a return but Mega Evolution now wows the judges with a range of the most dazzling manoeuvres. Game Freak is breaking new ground without damaging the roots underneath.OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire are a remarkable, yet respectful, retelling of two all-time classics, resulting in yet another highlightfor a series that’s absolutely stuffed with them. Magnificent.

“Te first evolutions of old titles to appear 3DS suggest they are part of a winning formula”

Andy McDonald

Verdict Stunningbackdrops anddetail bri-what’sthat? Ohmy god,it’sbeautiful.I’veneverseenthelike. Oh god, it’s pulling the entire building into it! Run! Recreating past games in a modern style unexpectedly opened a destructive time portal, through which we’re currently being suc-aaaarrrrgh

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It’s as if Good-Feel painstakingly knitted every level and scanned it in.

Spring 2015

Yoshi’s Woolly World

Can Good-Feel produce a platforming purl, or will it drop a stitch? ometimes the sheer aesthetic joy of a game can be a powerful motivator. A good game has to be fun to play, sure, but knowing you have some stunning sights in store as your reward for finishing a stage is as good a reason as any not to put the pad down. And boy, doesYoshi’s Woolly World have plenty of those. Its art is so consistently lovely as to invite you to stop and just gawp at it: not always a sensible idea when you’ve got a hungry Piranha Plant with a taste for yarn in your immediate vicinity. But look! It’s so bright and colourful, so wonderfully tactile. You’ve got soft, carpeted floors and fabric platforms, held into position by little pins, with clouds dangling from near-invisible nylon wires. Enemies don’t disappear into Yoshi’s bottomless pit of a stomach when he grabs them with his tongue; instead, with a brisk flourish, they unravel.

picking up extras from egg-patterned blocks, you’ll hit sewing baskets from below, dislodging the lid just enough for a replacement ball to fall out. All of which helps compensate for a slightly troubling absence of genuine new ideas. We’re confident Good-Feel can do better than Artoon did with Yoshi’s New Island, but beyond the ability to cajole a brood of chicks into following you, their down producing temporary platforms when hurled, it does look a tad familiar. Even the two-player co-op mode – in which you can grab your dino partner and turn them into a projectile weapon – owes a debt to Epic Yarn. Still, if Good-Feel gets as creative with the level design as it has with the visuals, this could be the game equivalent of a favourite pair of slippers: warm, soft and gloriously comforting.

Twitter: @onm_uk

Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Good-Feel

“Enemies don’t vanish into Yoshi’s bottomless pit of a stomach – instead, they unravel”

Chris Schilling

Woolly Jumper You’ll see fleecy flowers sprout from the ground and produce leafy platforms, before bursting into vivid blooms. A river of lava looks like a scar f unfurling, while every surface subtly yi elds to the touch: platforms bend gently under Yoshi’s weight, while his bulbous nose squashes up against a heavy ball as he pushes it along. Eggs are no longer eggs, but balls of yarn. You’ll still get them by gobbling an enemy and squeezing it out of Yoshi’s bum, but instead of

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Verdict Makes up foryears of Grandma’sitchyknitting Crammed with secrets andunlockables Grandma read that first bit and is now crying Ah, don’t cry Grandma, we were only joking about your jumpers. They’re really comfy. Yoshi? No, he’s awful. Look – we’ve given his game a real drubbing.

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Difficult neighboursare onehazardof settling intoanewplanet.

2015

Xenoblade Chronicles X No need to Shulk:Monolith Soft’s sumptuous sandbox mechs us giddy

Key details Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Monolith Soft, Nintendo SPD

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o thisis howthe worldends. It’s nothing to do with thepolar icecaps, but two alien racesmeeting in nearEarth orbit for the mother of allscraps. Still, the aliens have beenkind enough towarn us; humanity, realisingthe planetis doomed, sends a fleet of intergalactic arks intospace.One, containing a wholecity’s worthof survivors, is knocked out of its flight path and crashlands on an alien planet. Thus begins the follow-up to the Wii’s best RPG. For all its qualities, Xenoblade Chronicles didn’t have a memorable protagonist: Shulk exhibits all the magnetic charisma of a damp paper towel. Monolith Soft has gone further: you can make your own, via an extensive character customiser. Your character finally emerges from their status pod, blinking blearily into the dazzling light until you can make out a friendly face. This is Elma, a scout from the city who’s been searching for other survivors. Naturally, you decide to join her, and the pair of you set off to find the remaining pods, widely scattered across the planet. It’s a big place – more than five times the size of its predecessor’s sprawl. You’ll be made to feel extremely small, not just because that rocky outcrop you can barely make out on the distant horizon is a potential destination. You’ll see huge flying creatures that look like the result of genetically splicing a whale and a dragonfly, while striding over to an alien Brachiosaur reveals you’re no taller than its toenail. Happily,

“Your character finally emerges from their pod, blinking blearily into the light”

while your quest begins on foot, you’ll l ater get to pilot transforming mechs, which can take to the skies or morph into giant motorbikes. Those big beasts are at first docile, but you’ll soon find more aggressive life. Fighting an enemy is akin to Xenoblade’s real-time battles: you can make automatic attacks (albeit with a gun) while using your Technical Points on special moves called Arts. You can take risks by closing in with melee attacks to build up your points quicker, or play it safe and slow, keeping your distance and using Arts less often. It’s Chronicles with knobs on, and with the multi-purpose Gamepad acting as a map screen, a to-do list and a wardrobe for all that exotic gear, you’ll never get lost in Wii U’s biggest and most bountiful universe. Chris Schilling

Verdict The greatest videogame Brachiosaurof alltime Screenshots of non-gamefootage looknice Matthew likes the first one loads, so he’s biased You’ve never seen characters so anime do such anime things. Honestly, it’s like a joke how anime this is. They leave Earth on space arks for god’s sake.

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Let’s see who’s ‘jaggi’ now! Because of my sword. And the graphics.

Turns out that old London town was more steamy than foggy.

Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. London, but not as you know it

you’re playing with a decent team, it ’s possible to herd the monster around, but if you’re alone you can pretty much forget it. That said, the levels are a fair bit more vertical than they used to be, wi th climbable walls aplenty for those who fancy a bit of rodeo. MH4U also adds two new weapon types for players to get to grips with. The Charge Blade is a sword and shield that can also be combined mid-combo to form a powerful axe, while the Insect Glaive is a giant stick accompanied by a beetle that you throw at monsters in order to extract ‘essences’ from them and boost your own abilities. Furthermore, you can use the Glaive to pole-vault around, making it incredibly versatile both offensively and evasively, as well as an absolute joy to use. The Monster Hunter series remains unparalleled in the ‘boss hunt’ genre of games it single-handedly created, and MH4U shows that Capcom still refuse to get complacent with the series ten years on.

ode Name: S.T.E.A.M. Format 3DS harmonises Publisher turn-basedstrategywith Nintendo third-personaction. Developer It’ssetinLondon,but Intelligent Systems an alternatesteampunk Out 2015 version whereLovecraftinspiredaliensare invading.Playerstake control of an elite team of extraterrestrialslaying soldiers founded by Honest Abe Lincoln. Their job is simple: take out the monsters, one turn at a time. It’s a mix of visual inspirations and styles including heroes influenced by Silver Age comic legend Jack Kirby, as well asBatman: The Animated Series artist Bruce Timm. The top-down perspective and squares of movement are gone, and the battlefield is seen from each soldier’s viewpoint. Actions are governed by a steam meter, and using steam to explore and advance vertically on enemies is the key to victory. Characters serve different roles and have exclusive weapons and equipment. It also takes mechanics popular in modern strategy games, such as XCOM’s Overwatch, and gives it its own twist by letting you stun enemies on their own turn, or setting up ambush traps to inflict extra damage. It takes a delicate touch to weave together shooter and turn-based strategy so effectively. The studio has a history of masterfully crafting deep and rewarding strategy games: Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. looks like it could be one of its best.

SeanBell

Tamoor Hussain

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Q1 2015

Ultimate

Extracting beetle ‘essence’ is just one new skill to learn

very time a new version of Monster Hunter appears, the odds of it being released in Europe are slim. So while awaiting a European release date for Monster Hunter 4, we were pleasantly surprised when Capcom announced they were working on Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate – a jazzed-up version with extra content – and we’d be getting that instead. Cheers! The basic hook remains the same. Fight monsters, learn their behaviours, hunt them enough times to make armour or weapons out of their corpses, use the new gear to fight tougher monsters, repeat. But Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate makes one considerable change to the way you can play the game – you can now mount the monsters and attack them, causing them to drop body parts you might need for that next weapon or set of armour. This new mechanic has even been applied to monsters you might already be familiar with, providing an interesting new challenge to those of you who laugh whenever a Great Jaggi turns up and starts kicking off like you’ve not killed over 30 of his mates already.

Leap of faith

You can’t just hop onto a monster’s back when you feel like it, mind – you’ve got to climb up a nearby wall and then leap off it, hoping your prey doesn’t bugger off somewhere as you do so. If Twitter: @onm_uk

Verdict

Verdict

The whole “European version” thing turned out to be an elaborate joke at our expense. Pretty low, Capcom.

We tried simulating the game experience by putting our hand on a kettle. Horrible.

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Is it a plane? Is it a boy? is it a girl? Well, it is Link, we can confirm that .

2015

Te Legend of Zelda

Another link in Nintendo’s golden chain Key details Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Nintendo

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n the end, it all comes down to that image of Link on horseback, in a verdant, sundrenched field swaying with life (and later, a bomb-spewing mechanical octopus monster). It might be the most evocative image of this generation, and one which says so much about the future of Zelda – or, perhaps, our ‘hopes’ for it – without so much as a word needing to be uttered about the game. Producer Eiji Aonuma has spoken about his desire to bust open the conventions of the series and rethink its approach to dungeons, puzzles and player progression, but can he hope to achieve this while holding onto all of the things we love? It’s easy to forget if you haven’t played a Zelda game for a while and easy to fall back on the popular narrative that the series hasn’t innovated since the N64, but The Legend of Zelda always shows us something different, even if the core remains the same. It’s an adventure, after all – the tale of a hero venturing into the unknown with sword, bow and hookshot in hand, leaving the cynicism of the real world behind. As with any great fable, the myth of Zelda differs upon each retelling. Depending on who you ask, Link has appeared as a lonely wanderer, a worried nephew, a dirty great thief, a precocious grandson, a trainee train conductor, and a werewolf. Zelda has been a princess, a pirate, even a ghost, while Link’s age-old foe Ganondorf is given a different motivation and

backstory each time he rears his triforceobsessed head. What form will Link, Zelda and (if he’s in this one) Ganondorf take in Zelda Wii U? There’s been speculation over whether Link’s male this time, but as long as he or she is the curious sort, has an unhealthy obsession with rupees, and is a dab hand with a bow and arrow, it hardly matters whether Link sits side-saddle or not. We trust Aonuma and co. to make a Link and Zelda we care about, whether their roles are reversed, they’re both the same person, or Link has a magic talking hat. Or something. The trappings might change, but it is fair to say that the mechanics of plundering dungeons and defeating bosses have stayed largely the same since A Link to the Past. Aonuma’s right – these could do with being reworked, and the first tentative s teps have already been taken with Skyward Sword and A Link Between Worlds. The Wii outing discarded the notion that dungeons and the overworld were separate entities, transforming the whole world into a giant dungeon of sorts, with some smart pacing to stop the game from feeling too one-note. There were proper temples, of course, but you were constantly being tested, puzzled and teased, even when you were out in the wild. A Link Between Worlds, meanwhile, revised the traditional item system, offering most of the

“Producer Eiji Aonuma hasspoken about his desire to bust opon the series’ conventions”



ProjectGuard and Giant Robot Miyamoto plays mad scientist othProject Guard and GiantRobot Format Wii U aresingle-player Publisher gamesdesignedfor Nintendo groupfunevenifyou’re Developer nottheonethat’s NintendoEAD holding a controller. Out 2015 Guardisthemost immediately appealingof thetwo. You use thetouchscreen toplace a dozen gunmounted cameras around a facility, in readinessforaraidfromanarmyofrobot invaders.It gets steadilymorefrantic asthe wavesofenemiesapproach–somecanonly be temporarilyhalted,othersare invisibleto yourradar– forcing onlookersto alert you to their presence. GiantRobot, meanwhile, isa strange beast, involvingawkward butamusing fightsbetweentwo large, unwieldy combatants.Once you’ve builtyour steel behemoth,it takes a whileto master.You punchwiththeanaloguesticks,andthe GamePad’sgyro sensor targets your opponent’shead or torso, whileshifting yourweightputs extra force behind your blows. It’slike a real-time version of WiiWare title Toribash.Alittlelightweightinits currentform,butifNintendocangetthe physicsright,itcouldbeawinner. Whether either prototypeis fleshed out intoafullgame,orformspartofalarger project (Miyamoto hashintedGuard could becomepartofStar Fox)remainstobeseen, but bothvouch forNintendo’sadmirable commitmentto unique, experimentalideas.

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game’s tools at the start, and returning to a more open progression system in the process. We want to see more of that in Zelda Wii U, more faith in the player, and no interminable opening sections that remind us how much a rupee’s worth every. Single. Time.

Zelda hearts winners

fully fledged co-op mode, Four Swords-style arena battling, or Super Mario Galaxy-esque rupee collection with a second controller remains unclear. Interdimensional puzzling is a neat idea that would fit in with themes found in LTTP: imagine another player altering your game world by invisibly performing actions from the other side of a dimensional rift. We’re spitballing, clearly, but Zelda brings out that side of us: it’s a real catalyst for the imagination. Right now, Zelda is awash with possibilities. Again, it’s that image of a figure on a horse, gazing out over an entire world’s worth of puzzles, threats and treasure. We’re sad that we won’t get to see the game through to the end, but we’ll be there with you in spirit, teasing you like Midna or hovering over you like a Z-targeting fairy. ONM’s earthly career may be over, but there’s always room for another adventure.

We want that bigger, more open world, but we want it to retain the focus on secrets, which saw us checking every cracked wall and hitting ever y last bush in A Link to the Past. Zelda games aren’t unstructured expanses, after all, but carefully authored spaces that ask players to scrutinise every detail, in order to reward them with a lovely chunky piece of heart. Speaking of which, a few new items wouldn’t go amiss – we’ve been sniffing out heart pieces and bottles for years now. Customisation could be the key: clothing dyes or different outfits and Tom Sykes trinkets would be a good fit, assuming Ninty doesn’t want to Verdict go all out and ThatisafemaleLinkafterall! introduce a proper ThehorribleInternetgot allup inarmsaboutit. loot system. Aonuma We burnt down the Internet. All ashes now. Lovely. has stated repeatedly that the game will Zelda was so wonderful, that we’re actually pretty feature some element glad we still didn’t have jobs once it came out. We of multiplayer, but are quite hungry, though. Soup k itchen, anyone? whether he means a Twitter: @onm_uk

B

Chris Schilling

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Verdict Turnsout, noneof thiswas fora newStar Fox.It was fora new Yoshi’s Cookie. Boooooooooooooooo.

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Enemies like to get in your face - so plant an axe in theirs.

After a hard day’s limb-hewing, a drum solo is the perfect wind-down

2015

Devil’s Tird

Valhalla’s shooter/brawler hybrid packs a diabolical punch

Keydetails Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Valhalla Game Studios/ Nintendo SPD

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n the face of things, Devil’s Third is a game that’s distinctly off-message. Miyamoto’s E3 post-mortem bemoaned the fountains of gore and overabundance of guns, yet here was Nintendo performing CPR on a game in which you can make enemy heads explode like watermelons (as well as making watermelons explode like watermelons, but that’s another story). But Devil’s Third is continuing a Nintendo tradition. It’s been striking deals with Japanese publishers and developers for years: partly out of self-interest, but also to help the industry in Japan as a whole. Think back to the Capcom Five, or its attempts to interest Western audiences in the likes of Dragon Quest and Monster Hunter. Its recent rescue act on the abandoned Bayonetta 2 is not a dissimilar scenario. That said, Valhalla Game Studios – headed up by the infamously spiky Ninja Gaiden designer Tomonobu Itagaki – has needed a bit more help than Platinum, with Nintendo producer Hitoshi Yamagami acting as the middleman between the two. You can excuse its ragged looks given such a troubled development history, but it’s clear Nintendo is keen to ensure Devil’s Third is fully patched up and in full working order before it’s prepared to put its name on the box. It’s also perfectly in keeping with Nintendo’s recent shift in focus. Miyamoto’s comment about encouraging players to challenge

themselves rather than demanding to be entertained is one sign of its catering to more experienced players. It could hardly have found a more perfect partner in Itagaki, who is known for making formidably difficult games. Originally scheduled for a ‘late 2014’ release, Devil’s Third has since slipped into next year. That may be a good thing: its fusion of shooting and brawling is an unusual one, and unconventional recipes tend to need time to get right. What is clear is that its clan-based multiplayer, with its propaganda flyers and smoothie-maker modes, is one of the most gleefully silly things we’ve seen on Wii U – and if the campaign can live up to Itagaki’s past efforts, then this unlikelypartnership might just result in the best action game since, well, Bayonetta 2.

“Nintendo performs CPR on a game in which you make enemies explode like watermelons”

Chris Schilling

Verdict Turnsout we’re notthatdesensitisedto violence. Ohgodwe’rebeingsick. Bleeeeerrrrrghh. Bleergh. Blergh. *pants* BleeeeeItagaki is gross. You won’t believe some of the stuff we saw in this game. It’s like a snuff film had a baby with a dead cow. Good watermelon physics, though.

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Kirby and the Rainbow Curse Legless but no loss of appetite

Spring 2015

overtly revealed by Nintendo yet, including Mario’s other incarnations and possibly even characters, enemies and elements from non-Mario games. Imagine Kirby let loose in the Mushroom Kingdom, or Link from Zelda II taking a pop at Bowser. Other features have been teased that would bring Mario Maker more in line with its ancient predecessor, Mario Paint. Notably: the ability to make music, which might have been the best part of Paint, along with the power to turn your doodles into crude animations. You see, when Nintendo tries to foster creativity in their software, they really go at it: see Pictochat, Miiverse, and the beautifully ridiculous WarioWare for further proof. We see no reason at all why Mario Maker will be any different, and we just know there are going to be hundreds of brilliant, odd and devious stages made over the course of 2015. You could even make one for Luigi, if you feel like being really weird. ChrisSchilling

Daniel Cairns

Mario Maker Mario, prepare to meet your maker. Spoiler: it’s us

intendo have made quite enough Mario games for the time being, so why don’t you give it a try? Mario Maker is Mario Paint but for games: a rather easy-to-use level editor that employs a grabby, tactile interface located on the GamePad screen. It’s an interesting counterpoint to Nintendo’s own NES Remix, which was another wonderfully playful way to revisit some of their older games. The opening stage of Super Mario Bros. was famously a work of design genius – it taught a generation the basics of platforming without them having to rely on an obtrusive tutorial or a giant manual that was filled with flow-charts and diagrams. One thing it lacked, however, was a bunch of pipes drawn in a rude, suggestive shape. Or a piranha plant with wings. Or a maze of question blocks. Or a room of 1,000 Koopa Troopas. Or an even crueller assortment of deadly gaps. Even this far after Mario Maker ’s E3 reveal, the thought of being able to (officially) mess with Super Mario Bros.’ constituent elements gives us a giddy thrill.

HINTS OF STYLES TO COME It’s not just Super Mario Bros., of course, but New Super Mario Bros., with the option to switch between both visual styles at the tap of a button. Other styles have been mentioned, but not Twitter: @onm_uk

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he world’sleast fussyovereateris FormatWii U returningwith a Publisher vengeancein 2015,likea Nintendo cutepink, kleptomaniac Developer Godzilla. Kirby andthe Nintendo Rainbow Curse seeshim Out 2015 losinghislittlelegs,ashe rollsaroundlike a funsize katamari. Familiar premise? It’s something of a sequel to the Nintendo DS’s Kirby’s Canvas Curse, where you moved Kirby around with your stylus, charging him up and letting him whizz about with gay abandon. This time he’s got a Wii U powering him, rather than a t iny handheld, resulting in a nicer-looking game. In keeping with a tradition of fashioning games out of household appliances, Nintendo have created our hero and environment from clay. You’ll see thumbprints in bits of scenery and on the Kirbster himself, in a world straight out of Tony Hart’s lovely imagination, although Kirby would utterly wreck Morph in a fight. Everything has a wonderfully weighty feel as Kirby rolls around, smashing into things with a heft y thud (one early boss fight has Kirby bashing into his favourite tree nemesis with a satisfying squidge). It’s like Ray Harryhausen had a wild breakdown, got bored of dinosaurs and hydras and moved into cuddly toys instead. The only real downer is that it’s easiest to monitor the action on the Wii U gamepad screen, so all that lovely HD Claymation will only be seen sparingly if you’re the one playing.

Keydetails

Verdict Good news: we’re all Mario designers in the future! Bad news: Mario’s Metacritic average takes a battering.

81

Kirby’s plasticine art style infringed on some pretty serious patents. The case of Nintendo v. Aardman left the former destitute.

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Ink, ink, everywhere, and nowhere a drop to drink. Unless you want to, of course.

2015

Splatoon

Tat’s eight squid you owe us, Nintendo

Key details

Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Nintendo EAD Group No. 2

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f we’ve learned to expect the unexpected from Nintendo in recent months, that’s partly down to a clear shift in approach, one highlighted by Miyamoto in an interview with ONM’s sister magazine, Edge. “Forget those casual idiots,” the great man said (we’re paraphrasing slightly), “I’m making games for you guys again!” Yep, with the fickle expanded audience largely getting their fix from free-toplay fare on smartphones, Nintendo is free to focus on the loyal fans who’ve stuck with it through the lean times. And it’s doing so with games like Splatoon, perhaps the best of the E3 surprises. Splatoon is what you get when Nintendo spends a long time studying a genre, and then attempts to put its own unique spin on it. It ’s a third-person shooter that takes the basics of the form, shakes them about a bit, and takes out a lot of the unnecessary fluff. It’s taut, it ’s focused, and it’s remarkably fresh. We’re back to that old mantra ‘new ways to play games’, with an established game type given a new lease of life thanks to some fresh thinking. This means that it’s not like many other third-person shooters you’ve played. Miyamoto isn’t interested in photorealistic graphics; he’s keen that Splatoon is “different from what other folks are doing”. Indeed, one of his most strik ing comments post-E3 was his revelation about what he called “bloody shooter software”, suggesting

the industry was collectively suffering from “creative immaturity”. Yikes. Splatoon is mature, but not in the M-rated, limbs flying, ragdoll corpses, blood-on-thecamera sense of the word. This is very much a game about making a mess of a very di fferent kind. It’s mature in that it’s a thoughtful, creative revamp of familiar systems, but also in the reductive ingenuity of its design, especially the myriad ways that it uses its central mechanic – shooting ink. Let’s recap. Splatoon is a competitive multiplayer shooter with two teams of four players, who begin the game positioned at both ends of a large urban environment. Their objective is simple: to cover as much of the floor as possible with their team’s coloured ink. In a curious twist, each of the humanoid characters can transform into a squid, swimming through their own colours and refilling their weapon in the process. When time’s up, whichever side has literally covered the most ground is declared the victor – by a black-and-white cat with a bow-tie and dungarees shaved into his fur, natch.

“An established game type that’s given a new lease of life thanks to some fresh thinking”

More fathomsthan you’d think

It sounds daft, and it is, but it’s fun and deceptively deep. There are numerous strategic options open to players at any given time. You www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk


TheGreat Ace Attorney Spin off is more than elementary hilevery little in-game Format 3DS footage from Publisher TheGreatAce Attorney Capcom hasbeen revealed, Developer Capcom hasbeen Capcom unveilingbits andbobs in Out 2015 trailers online, anda specialextendedintroduction video shown attheTokyoGameShowgaveusevery reasonto getexcitedaboutthisspin-offtitle. Thegameissetduringthelate19th century,with Phoenix Wright’s ancestor Ryuunosuke Naruhodouvoyagingfrom JapantoEnglandaspartofhisquestto becomea defence attorney, alongwith his assistantSusato Mikotoba. Therethe pair run intoworld-renowneddetectiveSherlock Holmes,ofwhomSusatoisamassivefan (she’s read allthe books),and hishelperIris Watson, whois, err, aneight-year-old girl. Know-it-allHolmes isquickto dispensehis hyper-reasoned but flaweddeductionsin thecourtroom,anditisuptotheplayeras Ryuunosuke to findcontradictionsinhis theories. Forexample,in thefootagewe saw, Holmeshas misreada telegramusedas evidence, leading himtobelieve that Ryuunosukeisinfacttheghostofamurder victim. Ryuunosuke, quitecertain thathe is infactalive,pointsoutwhereHolmeshas beengoing wrong andthe casecontinues. Thecameracanbemovedaroundthe gorgeous3Dmodelsinsearchofextraclues, anditseemsthedialoguetextwillbefully voiced.Wedetectawinner,Holmes.

Keydetails

can spray walls, adopting your squid form to as you tap the map on the GamePad screen to instantly catapult yourself back into the fray – the slither up to higher ground, and take up a handy disadvantage, of course, being that opponents vantage point from which to spot – or snipe – opponents, or merely to cover a wider area with watching the skies will see you coming. Since the each squirt of your gun. Instead of directly early days of the DS, we’ve complained about shooting rivals, you can cover the ground behind unimaginative developers using a second screen them to cut off any attempted retreat, as they’ll as a map; for once, we absolutely welcome such a move, as here it gives an immediate glimpse at move much more slowly through your ink. You the current state of play, allowing you to can even secrete yourself in enemy terr itory, ducking into a single splat in squid form to wait strategise on the fly while handily decluttering for an unsuspecting adversary to pass by… the main display. This is superlative game design. It is so elegant It’s fast, immediate and uproariously and economical that you wonder if anyone other entertaining, but is it built to last?Splatoon needs than Nintendo could possibly have conceived of plenty of maps and modes to gain traction in a crowded genre – albeit one that’s hardly it. Ink is used as a weapon, sure, but it’s also used oversubscribed on Wii U – particularly given that less violently to mark your territory, to traverse the environment, to hide in, to navigate, to spot it’s not fronted by any established Nintendo incoming threats and even to reload. characters. If it can get that r ight, we may just You might even use it to communicate, have a future classic on our hands. daubing arrows or secret insignia on the walls to ChrisSchilling inform your team-mates of your plans. Or perhaps Verdict even, if your team is The inkwas totally non-toxic, and delicious. winning and you’re *waitstwelveyears* feeling the point Why has my new baby got telekinetic powers?! needs flagging up, to remind opponents of Splatoon, of course, became the world’s biggest the score. eSport. All the braying CoD players gave up after a Even respawning is rabid tidal wave of pigtailed girls pummeled them. delightfully efficient,

90

Twitter: @onm_uk

DanielRobson

Verdict ThetwistwhereProf. Laytonturnedupandbeat Holmestodeathoutof jealousywasa bitmuch.

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Jumping in 3D is far easier than it has any right to be.

Extend-o-stick first, talk later. Ms Marple, Aiden Pearce ain’t.

Sonic Boom: Rise Of Lyric Ol’ Blue Arms covers the basics

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heSonicBoom franchise of FormatWii U gamesand Publisher Sega cartoons aimsto bring Developer thebluehedgehogtoa Big Red Button Out 21 November newgenerationof Western gamers. As 2014 such,the WiiU edition, Sonic Boom: Rise Of Lyric, isbeingdeveloped in the States. So if you’re wondering why Sonic’s arms have changed colour, blame America. What hasn’t changed in the demo we played is the usual issues found in a 3D Sonic game. Rise Of Lyric is heavy on exploration and combat, and while the latter works quite well, platforming is hampered by a control system that is just too complex, and a camera that appears to be drunk. Sonic’s speed often works against him. In the speed-run stage, control is often wrested from the player as tougher jumps are handled on autopilot. Making difficult jumps in 3D during the exploration sections is not exactly a frustration-free experience either. The teamwork element is great, with easy switching between Sonic, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles. The Enerbeam is a nice idea, used as a lasso to unlock new areas or to swing through the air, but using it sometimes feels confusing, at least in the short TGS demo. In its best moments, such as running full-pelt towards the screen from a giant crab monster, the demo achieves a frantic pace, but after running into yet another wall we wondered whether Rise Of Lyric will appeal to the targeted younger gamer.

Keydetails

Daniel Robson

Verdict Turns out, Sonic’s crap mates are actually the best game feature of all time. Who knew?

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21November

Watch Dogs

Watch out, Chicago has gone to the dogs hat would you do if you owned a phone that could hack almost anything? If you agree with the Internet’s answer, “I’d break into Liam Neeson’s hard drive and abscond with pictures of his bottom”, then please seek out the nearest cupboard and lock yourself in, because Aiden Pearce is coming for you. For all c yber criminals, in fact. Ubisoft ’s latest new IP is an unending round of cat and mouse waged across a convincingly realised Chicago, in which players track down a succession of unsavoury types using the phone, while disabling or exploiting any CCTV cameras, electronic locks or motorised objects in the vic inity, before doling out an admonitory bullet (or if you’re feeling magnanimous, nightstick) to the victim’s head.

Boneheaded Vengeance

So why does Aiden have quite so many bones to pick with the underworld? Because somebody killed his niece during a botched drive-by assassination attempt, silly. And also because it’s more fun than just driving around, though there’s plenty to see and do in Chicago without starting a gun battle – just ask the local tourist board. Ubisoft has assembled a distractionpacked open world, with side activities ranging from open air chess to an in-game var iant of Foursquare, in which you “check in” repeatedly at landmarks to become “Mayor”. There are also

Digital Trips, strange VR (or should that be VVR?) games for your smartphone. These include a minigame where you (finally) get to play in the form of a rampaging robot spider, and simple platforming with bouncy cartoon flowers. Multiplayer is cunningly woven into the open world: besides traditional deathmatch and racing that can be loaded up from the main game, there’s a hacker duel gametype in which one player sneaks into the other player’s session as a civilian, in order to siphon data from the host’s smartphone. Alas, the plot isn’t as lively as the things that fit around it. Aiden is a queasy mix of wisecracks and brutality, and the twists are pretty routine: if you don’t spot the back-stabbers well in advance, you’re not the discerning judge of cheese we took you for. The main missions are also disappointingly dependent on gunplay, rather than Aiden’s esoteric tricks. Still, if you’re in the market for a gadget-loving GTA-alike, this is a homebrew package you shouldn’t miss. Edwin Evans-Thirlwell

Verdict The game’s alright and all, but its unintended effect of teaching the world’s youth to steal all our Amazon passwords sucked.

31



He’s not a real captain but he’s as magic as a mushroom.

The atmosphere chills while the guts are largely unspilt.

Fatal Frame V: The Black Haired Shrine Maiden Medium ramps up fear factor atalFrame/Project Zeroisagame FormatWii U aboutfear, rather Publisher thangore;agameabout Nintendo slow-pacedexploration, Developer puzzlesandtingling Tecmo Koei dread,withwronged Out TBC spiritslurking invisibly aroundyou.LiketheWiiUitself,it’sa left-field title that has pursued its own path. As expected, the tablet acts as heroine Yuri Kozukata’s ghostbusting camera. She’s a medium of sorts, with the power to read people’s memories by touching them, who travels to Hikayama mountain in search of her missing boss. To do away with the area’s unquiet spectres, you’ll need to hold the pad up to target them, rotating occasionally to afford a better view. It’s an obvious tactic, sure, but it feels like the Wii U was made for this franchise, and vice versa. As ZombiU showed, there’s something about physically moving the pad around a room that helps to establish a subtle sense of place. Much of the appeal lies in the increased clout of the host console. Perhaps it’s old hat to bang on about next gen leaps, but FF seems to have benefited hugely from the upgrade – water in particular is much more life-like, which is just as well given that so many levels are themed around the stuf f. Koei Tecmo’s refusal to give its heroines trousers, or even bras, continues to undermine its work, but as one of the few games keeping the torch of horror alight, Fatal Frame is more vital now than ever.

Keydetails

Captain Toad: Spring 2015

Treasure Tracker Why Mario’s mushroom chum is a diamond pleaser

ur chief concern about Captain Toad is its origin as a palate cleanser, a zesty, refreshing sorbet between Super Mario 3D World’s deliciously rich main courses. These unusual puzzles, nestled amongst longer bouts of platforming, were a welcome change of pace. But can they generate enough ideas to sustain an entire game? Silly question. This is EAD Tokyo, the folks who reheated and reshaped Super Mario Galaxy’s leftovers, lobbing in just enough fresh ingredients to create the tastiest level pack ever. It’s pulling a similar trick here, crafting charmingly dinky dioramas from the same building blocks as 3D World. The Captain is a more measured brand of adventurer; he ambles where Mario would canter, strolls where the plumber would bound. This means EAD Tokyo can place the star marking the end of the course within sight of the start, in the knowledge that our fungal friend will take a more circuitous route to the finish.

Diamond seeking jumper

Along the way, you’re invited to seek out three hidden diamonds. We’re accustomed to repositioning third-person cameras for an optimal perspective, but usually to better gauge distances for tricky jumps. Here, it ’s an integral part of the game – if you don’t shift it, you’ll undoubtedly miss something, whether it’s a Twitter: @onm_uk

squirrelled-away coin stash, a 1-Up mushroom, or even an enemy you need to avoid. Not all stages are single-screen puzzles. There’s a whole train’s worth of Shy Guypatrolled carriages for you to negotiate, while a castle level asks you to jog beneath low-flying birds (close relatives of those from Pullblox, it seems) who’ll try to ground-pound anything below them. There are wheels to rotate bridges into position, or to lift crates from the sea bed, walls to smash with a pickaxe – automatically swung in the manner of Mario picking up a hammer in Donkey Kong, and accompanied by the same jingle – and a stage that riffs on 3D World’s Red Hot Run, with a series of boost pads forcing skilful, speedy navigation of narrow paths. Challenging, chunky and impossibly cute – zoom in when Toad’s underwater and you’ll see him doggy-paddle his way past a circle of Cheep Cheeps – Treasure Tracker’s well on course to be yet another EAD Tokyo gem. ChrisSchilling

F

Tom Sykes

Verdict

Verdict

Turns out walking is way better than jumping, and Mario looks like a right goof now. The new king is born.

Great, we can’t use cameras at all now. We’re back on our Nokia 3210 s, and texts cost loads again. Urgh.

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Best o f t e est

Nintendo’s future is far too busy for us to fit it all into one feature – but just watch us try

Curve Projects Format WiiUeShop

Thefinefolkat Curveare eitherterrifiedof someone orterrifyingly efficient.The superbStealthInc. 2 isontheway,butthat’snotall.Mike Bithell’ssuperb narrativeplatformer,Thomas WasAlone, Jasper Byrne’s skin-crawling“SilentHill with a dimensionremoved”creeper,Lone Survivor, andeerie, part-claymationclone-puzzler,The Swapper, areall beingoptimised andreleased forWii U inthe comingmonths. Wewager we’llbe asbusyplaying astheyare doing...whatever publishersdo.

ShinMe g ami

Tenseix F ire Emblem

AffordableSpace Adventures

SteamWorldHeist

Format WiiU

Format WiiUeShop

Format 3 DS eShop

It’sbeenalongoldtimesinceweheardabout this SRPGmash-up – solongwe occasionally forget aboutit. Thatgoes fordevelopers Intelligent Systemstoo, whostarted making a wholenew game, CodeName S.T.E.A.M.inthe meantime.It ’sstill in development,but any specificdetails remain a tantalising mystery.

The childof atmos-platformermaestroNifflas andparty gamemischief-makersKnapNok, ASA isaperfectmidpointbetweenthosetwo philosophies. Guidea shipwrecked future-jalopy throughaterrifying2Dworld,micro-managing yourship systemson GamePadcockpit controls. Funny,nerdy andtense – sounds justperfect.

LessasequeltothebrilliantDigasasideways step, Heist hastaken theformer’sweird robotic worldand goes,er,off-world.Part- XCOM turn-based shooter, part-team management sim,and all procedurallygenerated, thisis as ambitiousand off-the-wall aswe’d hopedImage &Form’snextprojectwouldbe.Wecannotwait.

Bravely Second

Nero

GoneHome

Format 3DS

Format Wii U eShop

Format Wii U eShop

This looks very similar to its predecessor. We’re cool with that. A more expansive visit to the world of Luxendarc, complete with costumeswapping job system, overwrought, crystalobsessed storyline, and neat twists on JRPG standards is just what we need.Bravely Default was a true original – one more like it won’t hurt.

From its mysterious early days, this Italian indie proposition is finally taking shape. A first-person puzzler set across a neon-spewing island, it looks to take in classic influences as far-flung asMyst and Portal, with a storyline so affecting you’ll empathise with why the main characters look like they’ve been weeping the stuff in glowsticks.

Coming fromex-Bioshock developers, this ditches that series’ often dull combat and retains all theatmosphere.A girl returns to her family’s home, but finds everyone missing. Is it a horror, a drama, or somethingless hard to categorise? The onlyway to findout is by rifling through everyone’s stuff likea bored, voyeuristicburglar.

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HyperLightDrifter HarvestMoon(s) Format WiiUeShop

Well, thisis something.Blazes of pixel colour rake youreyes,thetitularDrifter arcs aroundthe screen likeLink aftergymnasticsclass and combat alternates between ranged keep-away andaction-game melee– there’s littleelse we’re looking forward to morefrom eShop.

PokkénFighters

Format 3 DS

It’soddtoseetheeversedateandb ucolic series, Harvest Moon, inaviciousbattlefor supremacy. Inonecorner,wehaveStoryofSeasons,whichis stymiedbythefun-filledworldoftrademark law from bearingtheHM mantle. Inthe other, we have Harvest Moon: TheLost Valley , developedby new owners Natsume.Whoever wins, wefarm.

Layton7

A.N.N.E.

Format Arcade

Format 3 DS

Format WiiU eShop

Who’s incharge of Nintendo’s crossover departmentthese days? Givethem a raise, Iwata. After HyruleWarriors comesanother barmyidea – Pokémon andTekken fusedand made by Namco supremo,KatsuhiroHaradahimself.It’s arcade-onlyforthe moment, butwe’d bevery surprisednottoseeitsmashontoWiiU.

No-one canreplaceHershel, whichcouldbe why thefirstLayton game post-Profwillfeaturea city’sworthofprotagonists.Setinthedinky confinesofa 3D town,thegameis said tofeature unfamiliarrole-playing elements.What that meansisanyone’sguessatthispoint–infact,it reminds us of a puzzle...

Samus’shipwouldhavecomeinhandyinthose earlyMetroid games. That’sthe basicconcept here– yourroboticprotagonist’sburgeoningset of abilities andpotholingexpertiseare onlyhalf ofthe game.The otherhalf’s spentin a chunky gunship, flyingacrossthe worldto expedite travel, shiftobstacles,or simply kill enemies.

TheNextPenelope MarioParty10

FinalFantasy Explorers

Format WiiU eShop

Format WiiU

Format 3 DS

Top-downF-Zeroracingwithastorybasedona twistedversionof The Odyssey .It’sasweirdasit sounds.It’salsofarmorebeautifulthanithas any right tobe – alllaser-lightstreaksand outlandishweaponry. If Nintendowon’t makea futuristic racinggame forthe new generation, we’rehappytoletthistakeuptheslack.

Weknowwhatyou’reexpectingand,yes,to a certainextent this isthe sameoldexperience. But with theaddition of as-yet-unspecified Amiibosupport,andtheBowserPartymode– whichhas a GamePad playeractivelytryingto sabotagefourotherplayersforanentirerun– there’s more tothisthanmeetsthemind.

Perhaps FinalFantasy isa littlethreatened.With the game-changingjob system of BravelyDefault andthethoughtful action ofMonster Hunter ,the world’smostfamousRPGlooksasthoughit’s learning (orstealing?) fromits moreprogressive younger siblings.If wecan summononedragon to eatanother, we’ll be happy.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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FEATURE 100 GREATEST

NINTENDO GAMES

THE 200 GREATEST NINTENDO GAMES PART 2: FIRST-PARTY So, here we are. After last month’s rundown of the greatest non-Nintendo games on our consoles, we’ve reached the main event. This list comprises every one of Nintendo’s development studios, their many second parties and games that would never have been released without the publisher’s help. Tens of writers helped decide on this, our definitive verdict on the best Nintendo has to offer. And be warned, the finish is a real nail-biter...

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100 GREATEST

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100

FEATURE

NINTENDO GAMES

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MABOSHI ARCADE

THE LAST STORY

FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES

indware Corp sound like bad guys in a sci-fi flick, but this is an evil experiment gone right. Translating to Circle/Bar/ Square, it describes three simple games that, played in tandem, combine into Mensa-grade stuff. In Circle you rev up a circle to skid into blocks; Bar involves both protecting and dragging a core with a spinning stick; Square is mobile phone gem Snake re-envisioned by an arsonist. Played in three adjoining panels, destruction in one game births ricocheting projectiles that impact the others. Watch a YouTube video of a pro to turn your brain into a smoothie. MC

t doesn’t take a genius to realiseThe Last Story bears more than a few passing resemblances to another well-known JPRG series, but this 2012 yarn from the father of Final Fantasy is very much its own beast. With a combat system that owed more to real-time strategy games than your usual RPG fare, no two battles were ever the same. Its warm, endearing cast of characters also had darn sight better voice actors than Xenoblade Chronicles (no Reyn Times here, thank you very much). There were a few technical issues, yes (those... damn... frame... rates), but JRPGs don’t get more down to earth than this one. KB

rystal Chronicles was a big moment in GameCube history. Not only did it hint that the rift between Nintendo and Square was finally on the mend, but it was also one of the few GameCube games that put the GBA link cable at the heart of its multiplayer experience, laying down the groundwork for the dual-screen wizardry we see today on the Wii U. It was also a logistical nightmare, but those who succeeded in assembling the right number of bodies and consoles were rewarded with an unforgettable multiplayer experience – as long as you didn’t get stuck holding the blasted myrrh chalice, that is. KB

Format WiiWare Publisher Nintendo Developer Mindware Corp Year of release 2008

M

97

Format Wii Publisher Nintendo Developer Mistwalker Year of release 2012

96

Format GameCube Publisher Nintendo Developer Square PD Division 2 Year of release 2004

95

GAME BOY CAMERA

POKEMON SNAP

Wii SPORTS RESORT

he reason Game Boy Camera sticks in our minds is likely due toN64 Magazine and its legendary gallery of ‘muties’. These were reader-submitted aberrations born of a montage function that welded flesh-with-flesh. God knows what obscene body parts were smuggled into public view this way. When we weren’t splicing granny’s face with various pets, we made rudimentary time lapse films, linked pics with hot spots to build our own versions ofMyst and inserted our gurning faces into simple minigames. When we soon rejoin N64 in magazine heaven, we hope to find the pearly gates plastered with these greyscale monstrosities.MC

midst the frenzy of battling and trading during Pokémon’s heyday, this wonderfully weird N64 spin-off allowed us to capture the critters on film instead of inside Poké Balls. A literal rail shooter,Snap saw the eponymous photographer travel across an unfathomably biodiverse land on tracks, taking pictures of Pikachu and co in their natural habitats like a hybrid clone of Ash Ketchum and David Attenborough. Interacting with the surroundings and wildlife was a whimsical and oddly addictive experience – if an unfortunately short one – and none of the myriad Pokémon offshoots since have been quite as immersive. AM

oreverdestinedtolieintheshadowofits more influential predecessor, in many respects Resort is actually the better game. On the blandly endearing Wuhu Island, you get to indulge in a dozen motion-controlled activities, ranging from wakeboarding to basketball and canoeing, each benefitt ing from the additional precision afforded by the bundled MotionPlus dongle. There are a few duffers here, but when it’s good, it’s excellent: skydiving is slight but exhilarating; archery is a twitchy, rewarding challenge; and table tennis might be one of the best things on Wii full stop. A charming, varied adventure holiday in a box. CS

Format Game Boy Publisher Nintendo Developer Nintendo Year of release 1998

T

Twitter: @onm_uk

Format N64 Publisher Nintendo Developer HAL/Pax Softnica Year of release 2000

Format Wii Publisher Nintendo Developer EAD Group No. 2 Year of release 2009

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NINTENDO GAMES

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GAME & WATCH GALLERY ADVANCE Format GBA Developer TOSE Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2002

A

lthough the box shouts “6 games in 1!”, there are actually 20 games here, making this the definitive museum-in-yourpocket, and reminding us all how Nintendo wrung maximum joy-juice out of laughable ‘70s electronics. True, many of these plaintively bleeping fossils don’t stand up too well today. But the modern remakes are compulsive tests of your old-school gaming skills – especially as the only way to access the full gallery is to keep racking up the high scores. Dead cute too: bouncing baby Yoshis and DKs out of a burning building is heartwarming and heroic. MG

91

Format Wii Developer Good-Feel Publisher Nintendo Released 2010

o-op gaming in 2010 for most people probably meant big old bullnecked Marcus Fenix from Gears of War making chunky wet confetti out of aliens with his bullnecked friends. We’re a lot less bloodthirsty here though, so for us, co-op gaming in 2010 involved faithful old Kirby causing mayhem in a world fashioned from yarn. It was a gorgeous little 2D platformer with clever level design and lots of hidden goodies, in addition to its fun two-player mode. If a game could smell, this would smell of lovely woolly jumpers, roaring fires, Christmas decorations, and Werthers originals. Or something. DC

052

METROID: OTHER M Format Wii Developer Team Ninja/Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2010

O

ther M’s ad campaign asked us: ‘Who is Samus Aran?’ Digging into a sprite’s psyche isn’t a horrible idea, it’s just that Nintendo emerged with an answer no one c ared for: Samus Aran is a girl with daddy issues. This isn’t our Samus Aran. Our Samus is the action icon who rolls through space station guts and dispatches enemies with a flip, kick and a laser to the face. She does all that here, and with a newfound grace courtesy of Team Ninja’s ‘Sense Move’ – a slow-mo dodge that also charges her arm cannon. Yes, Samus spends too much time crying; your eyes water for all the r ight reasons.MC

90

KIRBY’S EPIC YARN

C

92

Format 3DS eShop Developer Curve Studios Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2012

he 3DS sequel to the WiiWare classic Hydroventure improves on the original with gyro controls that slosh Eddy, a puddle of water with a face, through2D mazes towards trapped rainbow sprites. Turning your 3DS upside-down on a bus may provoke bemused glances from fellow passengers, but it’s worth leaving your dignity on the number19 as you ferry items, activate switches and wander lonely as a cloud. Eddy’s shifting states mean it’s as satisfying to handle as solve, whether you’re percolating poor Eddy through tiny cracks or crunching his frozen body through walls like an Incredible Hulk-flavoured ice lolly. MC

Format DS Developer Cing Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2005

T

hough Cing’s first game on DS is over within an afternoon, this melancholic point-and-click skilfully married the developer’s knack for character-led drama with some wonderfully creative puzzles. It pairs teenager Ashley Mizuki Robbins – looking for her father on the ominously-named Blood Edward Island – with D, an amnesiac ghost searching for the truth behind his death. Though it lacks the snarky edge that Kyle Hyde brought to the Hotel Dusk games, this gentle mystery intrigues all the way to a genuinely moving climax. Its Wii sequel is worth a look, too.CS

89

HYDROVENTURE: SPIN CYCLE

T

ANOTHER CODE: TWO MEMORIES

JAM WITH THE BAND Format DS Developer Nintendo SDD Publisher Nintendo Released 2010

J

am With The Band is the Teutonic electro act of the music game scene, with eight performers creating synth symphonies on a network of wirelessly linked DSes. Unlike its plastic instrument rivals, where hitting notes plays a prerecorded track, these button presses directly control the MIDI instruments – the tune simply won’t happen without your input. It’s closer to reading sheet music, giving it a genuine sense of musical creation. It also amplifies the sense of destruction when you begin to flub the notes. Watching six journos honk Madness’Our House into oblivion is this writer’s most cherished work memory. MC



88

87

NINTENDO GAMES

84

DIDDY KONG RACING FANTASY LIFE Format N64 Developer Rare Publisher Nintendo Yearof release 1997

Y

ouknowwhatMarioKart doesn’t have enough of? Questionablyaccented elephantsStrongsingle-player modes. Diddy Kong Racing takes MK 64’sformula and addsmultiplevehicles,an expansiveoverworld, tricky bossraces,and novelbattlemodes.There’s a subtleyetcheeky senseof humour underlying it alltoo, though that’s hardly surprisingwhen you considerthatthiswas thefirstappearanceof Conker, of BadFurDay fame.Itsracingmightnot bequiteasrefined,noritscastasmemorable, butits considerable ambition ensuresit a place on thepodium alongsideMario andfriends. AJ

86

Format 3DS Developer Level-5 Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2014

O

neof themostpleasant surpriseswe’ve hadthis year, Fantasy Lifecamealmost outofnowheretobeoneofour favourite 3DSgamesofalltime.Ittakesthebest partsofgameslike AnimalCrossing andHarvest Moon andfusesthemwithanRPGframeworkto createsomethingutterly gorgeous,expansive andengrossing. Rather thanprovidingone solid featurethat lasts,FantasyLife givesyou hundreds ofmini-tasksthatadduptocreateawebof things todo: collect pets,furniture or allies;fight monsters;or simplyfloat alongon thelazyriver oftheplotlineandwatchtheworlddriftby.KG

85

ZELDA II: THE ADVENTURE OF LINK Format NES Developer Nintendo R&D4 Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1988

BEAT THE BEAT: RHYTHM PARADISE Format Wii Developer NintendoSPD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2012

T

hree games in, and the Beat The Beat series has well and truly found its groove. The music’s bigger and bouncier, the games somehow manage to be even funnier – a cat and dog playing a game of badminton in biplanes, for Pete’s sake! – and the developer is now an expert at using aural tricks and visual traps to conduct its surprisingly intense test of your internal metronome. And in Flock Step – a world of stilt-legged birds doing squawking squats to the brashest, brightest pop song ever recorded – Nintendo has given us not just the happiest moment of any videogame, but probably our whole lives. MG

Twitter: @onm_uk

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STARTROPICS

Format NES Developer NintendoIRD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1992

S

tarTropics ranks among the most eccentric games ever made by Nintendo. Never intended for release in Japan, the result is an amalgam of Zelda-like gameplay and approximated Western sensibility. You play Mike Jones, whose uncle is kidnapped on the mysterious C-Island. A shaman sends you in pursuit with just a yo-yo to bash enemies, later weapons including throwing stars and baseball cleats. Part dungeon-crawler, part strategypuzzler, StarTropics isn’t the prettiest and frequently proves frustrating, but its idiosyncrasies combine into a unique experience that shouldn’t be overlooked.DO

e love our NES games at ONM, but very few of them have stood the test of time. Not so with Zelda II. We know it has a pretty bad rep compared to other Zelda games, but we think that’s an unfair assessment considering it laid down so many foundations forthe modern Zelda adventure. Making the game a side-scrolling platformer, allowed Link’s combat to flourish into arguably one of the most engaging battle systems in the series. Enemies could now attack high and low, so you’d have to duck, rise and jab ‘em in the knees whenever you could find an opening (or just down-stab them from above). Magic spells also made their début here, and Zelda II’s RPG elements provided tangible rewards for every downed monster. Then there’s that classic soundtrack, which we still hum today. If you’ve ever wondered why Hyrule Temple is such a great Melee stage, thank Zelda II’s dungeon music. The game has its flaws, yes, but it’s nevertheless an integral part of Zelda history. Without it, we doubt the series would be as good as it is today. KB

053

FEATURE

100 GREATEST

NINTENDO GAMES

83

82

81

METAL GEAR SOLID: KURU KURU KURURIN THE TWIN SNAKES

DONKEY KONG ’94

argh. Thirteen years down the line and we still wake up in hot, sticky sweats over this one. Sorry, that doesn’t sound like a ringing endorsement, does it? Perhaps it would be irresponsible for the nation’s health for us to give one. You control a constantly rotating stick, which you have to squeeze through a succession of winding 2D mazes without ever touching the sides. Ever. Not even once. You can control the rate of the stick’s spin, and you can touch objects that reverse the spin’s direction, but that’s all the help you’re getting. Did we mention it never stops spinning? Good luck with that. AD

hat starts out as a straight-laced port of the arcade original, unexpectedly and gloriously blossoms into a fiendish puzzle-platformer that takes all the old Donkey Kong tropes – barrels, girders, oils and monkeys with serious attitude problems – and repackages them in a fresh and inventive way. Donkey Kong ’ 94 would go on to form the base for the Mario Vs Donkey Kong series – but the original was thought to be something of a lost classic until its re- emergence on the3DS eShop back in 2011. Truly, Donkey Kong ’ 94 was a game full of surprises. AD

Format GBA Developer Eighting Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2001

A

80

Format GameCube Developer Silicon Knights Publisher Konami Year of release 2004

ake note, modern HD remakes: like polygon-obsessed hipsters, Kojima and Miyamoto were doing it earlier than you, and better than you. Not only did this update of the PS1 game smooth the sharp edges of the original and add some cinematic flair to its cuts cenes, but it cleverly dropped the second game’s ideas in amongst the classic concepts the first pioneered. First-person shooting and improved guard AI served to bring the already stellar original up to speed – not to mention brought it to a console where its maverick thinking and, let’s admit it, total lack of care regarding plot, felt r ight at home. JS

T

79

Format Game Boy Developer Nintendo EAD/PAX Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1994

W

78

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: FOUR SWORDS ADVENTURES MARIO PICROSS

TETRIS ATTACK

elda’s always nurtured malice, whether encouraging you to smash a stranger’s ceramics – that was grandma’s urn, you jerk – or bothering local chickens.Four Swords channels that mean streak towards three fellow Links, forced together by puzzling necessity, driven apart by greedy rupee hogging. Debuting on GBA’s A Link ToThe Past port as the world’s greatest freebie, it was on GameCube that the idea properly bared its claws: armed with GBAs and a Medusa-like tangle of link-up cables, the adventure on the TV could bleed into the private, handheld space – perfect for gazumping those rubes you like to call friends. MC

he Tetris Company disowned it, but Tetris Attack remains amongst the most relentlessly compulsive games released by Nintendo. Its match-three gameplay is now familiar the world over, but here it was refined and framed by the colourful world of Yoshi’s Island. The story mode sees you battle coloured blocks with the likes of Lakitu and Pr ince Froggy as you unravel another nefarious Bowser plot, and seeing every ending is a stiff test of your skills. Endless mode is high-score heaven, and competitive multiplayer feeds on the carcasses of friendships. It’s not Tetris, but it’s just as worthy of your time. DO

Format GameCube Developer Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Released 2004

Z

054

Format Game Boy Developer Jupiter Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1995

rofessional dilettante Mario tries his hand at archeology in a puzzler that succeeds where Donkey Kong failed – in making mirth of maths. The idea is that you’re presented with a square grid, and you’ve got to chisel out a pattern using just the numbered guides across the X and Y axis for reference. So on a 10 x 10 grid, as an example, if one column’s clue is ‘10’, this tells you that all ten blocks in the column need filing in. If it’s ‘1, 8’, you know to chisel all but the second block. Look, it’s just brilliant, okay? Even if it doesn’t sound like it’s for you, give it a go. What are you, scared of numbers or something? AD

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Format SNES, Game Boy Developer Intelligent Systems Publisher Nintendo Released 1996

T



77

76

73

WARIOWARE: DIY

SUPER MARIO RPG

W

uperMario RPGseemedimpossible.The SNESshould havebeen flagging, but instead Squaresoftdeliveredrevolutionary 3D graphics,crafted a funandengaging turn-basedRPG,andwrappeditallintheloving embrace of Nintendo’sbelovedmascot.It’s loaded with humour and affectionateattention todetail, combat issimple butstrategic, andYoko Shimomura’s score successfullyr iffs onMario classics whileaddingfittingly bouncyoriginals. What couldhavebeena last-gaspgimmicknot only kickedoff a newbrand ofMarioadventure, but spelled the future forconsoleRPGs. DO

Format DS Developer IntelligentSystems Publisher Nintendo Yearof release 2009

henIrevieweditin NGamer , I reasonedthatanygamemadebymy ownhandhadtobeperfect,sowas forcedtogiveit100percent.Itwas(kinda)a joke, but thisremainsa brilliant creation kit, disguisingprogrammingcomplexitiesbehind graspablelogicgatesandalayerofWario wonkiness.Youwon’t see GameMaker employing abseilingninjasas a scrollbar,that’s forsure. Onceyou’dbuilt a five-secondoddity, youcouldforceitontheworldthankstothe accompanying WiiWareapp. Yes, I’ma published Nintendodeveloper now. CheersWario! MC

75

NINTENDO GAMES

Format SNES Developer Squaresoft Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1996

S

74

SUPER MARIO KART Format SNES Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1992

W MARIO TENNIS

DRILL DOZER

M

t’s a travesty that this isn’t better known (and the lack of a UK release certainly didn’t help). Game Freak – temporarily freed from babysitting its menagerie of Pokémon – used its powers for platforming, and it’s super effective. There’s a rumble motor in the cart, but that’s only half the reason why smashing through everything with your big drill is so boneshudderingly awesome. Screen-filling power bars, shifting gears, beautiful animation and a perfect whining drill noise all contribute to one of the most gratifying game mechanics in Nintendo history. Good to see a kick-ass female protagonist, too. MG

Format GameBoy Color Developer Camelot Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2000

ario Tennis is an RPG, you know. An RPG. It’s never been clear why both this and Mario Golf took the role-playing route on Game Boy, while their grown-up N 64 siblings stuck strictly to the sport. But let ’s not worry about that. Mario Tennis has Camelot’s patented simple-but-deep controls, impressive looks, and the continued mystery of how Boo manages to hold a tennis racquet. But it’s the ability to level up your character (right down to your shoes) and unlock ever-tougher matches with Nintendo all-stars that makesMario Tennis the winner of the big gold bowl – or whatever it is you win in tennis. MG

Twitter: @onm_uk

Format GBA Developer GameFreak Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2005

I

hen Mario Kart Wii was first announced to the world, it came with the tagline: “This isn’t your father’s Mario Kart.” Just as well for some, becausethis is your father’s Mario Kart, and it’ll kick your teeth down your throat. Weedy whippersnappers used to compensatory power-ups and playing field-levelling blue shells will get a culture shock here – the original Mario Kart was more of a pure skill game, with winding, tight courses that begged for the perfect rac ing line. Even the shortcuts were hardcore. If there were a moment in Nintendo history that made you feel more like a baller than landing the Ghost House 1 Incredi-Jump, then we haven’t seen it. Even today, after 20-odd years of practice, we struggle to get a podium finish on Donut Plains 3, while modern day Rainbow Roads crumble beneath our sponge-wheels. Throw in tight time trial challenges (without corrupting speed mushroom throw-ins) and arguably the best battle mode of all time, and it’s easy to see why your father’s Mario Kart forces so many newcomers to call it ‘daddy’. AD

055


NINTENDO GAMES

72

71

70

PULLBLOX

BANJO-KAZOOIE

WII SPORTS

Y

t’s easy topass offBanjo-Kazooieasa Mario 64 clone, and while it certainly takes a few cues from Nintendo’s seminal platformer, it’s very much its own beast. Set in a world of gogglyeyed, sentient vegetables, blubbering sea captains, and perpetually rhyming witches, it’s certainly tonally sillier. More importantly, the titular duo has one of the most flexible movesets platforming has ever seen; where lesser games build difficulty through rigid, unwieldy heroes, here the challenge is built through clever puzzling and environments. Easily one of the best of Rare’s incredible N64 output. AJ

I

s thisgame spawned so many half-baked copycats, it’s easy to forget thatWii Sports opened everyone up to a totally new way of playing videogames. Sure, the Wii remote itself was central to the console’s vision, but it was Wii Sports that single-handedly sold everyone on it. That lesser developers put out games that required little other than furious waggling of the remote does nothing to diminish the fact thatWii Sports’ controls are incredibly nuanced – never mind the fact that it got entire families playing games together in the living room. We’ll likely never see another console launch quite like it SB

Format Nintendo 3DS Developer Intelligent Systems Publisher intendo Year of release 2011

oungchildrenvisitathemeparkowned by an old man with a dodgy back, only to get trapped in the attractions. It sounds like every parent’s worst nightmare, but it’s the premise for a charming puzzler, the finest to be found on a Nintendo console sinceTetris. But Pullblox is a new kind of block puzzler, one in which you have to push and pull blocks to create a flight of steps which will take Mallo to the child stuck in the Pullblox. It’s best not to think about the story – instead, save your brain for the classic puzzles, which get even better as switches and manholes come into play. TE

69

68

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: ORACLE OF AGES

Format GameBoy Color Developer Flagship (Capcom) Publisher Nintendo Released 2001

C

apcomhardlyreinvented Zelda,butits small innovations reinvigorated the well-wornformula.Developed simultaneouslyalongside the moreactionpackedOracleof Seasons,Link’sjourneyto Labrynna still has enemy-battering and dungeon-crawling aplenty, while the usual tools, from boomerang to bombs, are complemented by a time travel mechanic similar to last year’s A Link Between Worlds. This puts a stronger focus on puzzle-solving, and slipping between time frames lends real scope to the solutions. We recommend playing both to get the full story, but this should be your first stop.DO

056

Format N64 Developer Rare Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1998

Format Wii Developer Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2006

A

67

WARIOWARE: TWISTED!

Format GBA Developer IntelligentSystems/NintendoSPD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2004

D

ebateragesover whether this version is betterthantheoriginal.Itspositionin thischarttellsyouwhichwayONM leans, buteitherway Twisted! isanothersliceof hyperactivemicrogame genius, enlivenedno endby thegyro sensorandrumble feature that hadbeenbuiltintothecartridgeitself.Itclicks andwhirrsinanastoundinglysatisfyingway,as youtiltyourconsoletoshave stubble from a man’s faceand playa dazzlingrotate-o-remake ofWorld 1-1 ofSuper MarioBros. Mercuryin the cartridgemeantthatthegamefellfoulofEU restrictions, but importers treated themselves to a dizzying masterpiece. CS

WARIO LAND 4

Format GBA Developer Nintendo R&D1 Publisher Nintendo Released 2001

P

oor Wario. He’sthe badguy interminably waddlingintheshadowofhisplumber nemesis, despite hisadventures boasting someof Nintendo’smost creative andsatisfying platforming. Wario Land 4 ispickofthebunch,its vibrant levels gorgeously realisedby theGBA’s capabilities across jungles, castles, and haunted villages, their enemies and bosses painted in truly grotesque style. The focus on amassing maximum loot makes every stage supremely replayable, while the Frog Switch mechanic, which transforms your surroundings, provides tense and varied challenges to keep things interesting. Sometimes it’s good to be bad. DO



66

65

62

BLAST BLAST CORPS CORPS

KIRBY: TRIPLE DELUXE

P

irby’sat irby’sat hisbestwhenhe’spretend hisbestwhenhe’spretendingto ingto be something else, but Triple Deluxe is the best example of the sentient stomach going it alone. What this game lacks in difficulty, it makes up for in a fireworks display of ideas no one else could get away with – gigantic smiling trains thundering towards towards the camera; a be-smocked boss that paints whole portions of your screen to put you off your stride; and Hypernova, a superpowered version of Kirby’s own inhale move that sees you dismantling the world itself, all speak to a character charac ter eminently at home in his own blancmangey skin. JS

Format N64 Rare Developer Rare Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1997

robably the most mispronounced game in history, Rare’s superb Blast Corps (that’s Blast CORE, by the way) is an action puzzle game, where you have to destroy a path for a truck carrying a nuclear missile that is out of control by using a variety of ludicrous demolition vehicles to level all the buildings in the way, including Tonka trucks and giant robot mech. In a time where the likes of Blast Corps are being released as downloadable titles, it’s baffling that Nintendo hasn’t explored the possibility of a sequel to the most unique game in Rare’s near flawless Nintendo library. AH

64

NINTENDO GAMES

Format 3DS Developer HAL Laboratory Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2014

K

63

SUPER MARIO SUPER 3D LAND

Format 3DS Nintendo EAD Tokyo Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Developer Nintendo Year of release 2011

MARIO & LUIGI: BOWSER’S INSIDE STORY Format DS Developer AlphaDream AlphaDream Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2009

T

he Mario & Luigi RPGs are like one of those Comic Relief sketches where serious newsreaders prance around in drag costumes – it’s Nintendo with its hair down, showing that it does have a sense of humour about itself. The beauty of this third outing was shifting the focus to Bowser, taking us deeper, both literally and figuratively, into a character traditionally as thin as the skin seared from his body during his patented lava dips. Tromping around his guts gave us a lesson in Koopa King anatomy, while his outer world exploits revealed how hard it is to run an evil empire. Tremendous fun. MC

Twitter: @onm_uk

O PILOTWINGS 64

Format N64 Developer Paradigm/Nintendo Paradigm/Nintendo Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1996

S

uper Mario 64 was the star of N64 launch-day, of course, but Pilotwings 64 – a sequel to a SNES original – wasn’t overshadowed: overshadowed: its aerial dexterity dex terity tests were a face-blasting demonstration of what Nintendo’s new box was capable of. The USA-themed islands were a knockout for the time, and packed with secrets if you could find them before your fiddly gyrocopter or jetpack inevitably smacked into a mountainside. But the standout moment was gracefully gliding above it all as Birdman, to the accompaniment of some seductive synth-sax that simultaneously made us feel very uncomfortable and a little bit sexy. BG

nce described by Shigeru Miyamoto as “3D Mario that plays as a 2D Mario game”, Super Mario 3D Land is every bit as curious, multi-layered, and inventive as that synopsis suggests. Adapting the 3D games’ free-roaming worlds to an eight-directional, eight-directional, isometric isometri c plane, it focuses the spiralling imagination of the plumber’s 3D adventures through the tight, precise gameplay mechanics of his classic platformers. It achieves a seemingly impossible feat, combining old and new, fashioning something completely unique, and being one of the most authentic Mario games ever made. That’s before we even get into the quality of level-design. No cheap repetition of content, the game’s post-completion challenge of a remixed replay only emphasises how fiendishly intricate and creatively economical its environments are. At the time of release, Super Mario 3D Land was a Mario game like no other. But it’s also comfortingly just like every single one. And also fresh and brand-new. It’s an impossible, wonderful set of contradictions, and one of the best platformers money can buy. DH

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NINTENDO GAMES

61

60

59

1080°

SNOWBOARDING

KILLER IN INSTINCT

D

hen first announced, it was easy to be cynical aboutKiller about Killer Instinct. Instinct. Combining traits of the genre’s two warring kings, by way of Mortal Kombat’s Kombat’s gory finishers and Street Fighter ’s ’s weightier combo-driven fighting, everything about KI screamed ‘calculated cash-in’. But there was a fundamental game-changer in KI’s KI’s make-up that made it sing. Rare developed it. Consciously ludicrous and quietly hilarious with its treatment of violence,KI violence, KI blindsided blindsided all with its spiralling imagination. That it scaled so well from arcade to SNES is the bloodied flesh- lump on top of the delicious murder-cake. murder-cake. DH

Format N Format N64 Developer Nintendo Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1998

UN DUN DUUUUN! TEN EIGHTY!’ Those three guitar stabs are embedded deep within the brains of anyone who played Snowboarding, and therefore are 1080 ° Snowboarding, and synonymous with the enjoyment associated with playing the best snowboarding game of a generation. Watching your board carve into the piste, or the powdery, loose snow arch as you edge through it. Seeing the sunlight reflecting off the surface of crystal lake. Great times. Next time you’re near a guitar, play those three notes and watch to see if a nearby30-something starts twitching their thumbs. AH AH

SUPER SMASH BROS. BRA BRAWL

58

Format SNES Developer Rare Rare Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 1994

W

57

Format Wii Format Wii Developer Sora Sora Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2008

S

erious fighting fans may feel thatSuper that Super Smash Bros. Melee on Melee on the GameCube may have the more balanced gameplay, but for a series that’s that ’s really just an enormous love letter to all things Nintendo,Brawl Nintendo, Brawl is is the game that writes this letter in the most elaborate prose. Usually, listing the number of features in a game is an exercise in tedium, butBrawl but Brawl’s ’s list only goes to show exactly how enormous Nintendo’s fighter is. There are 37 playable characters and 41 playable stages, but that’s still only scratching the surface of the wealth of Nintendo references contained within. There are 544 trophies to collect, each describing describin g a single character or item from a past Nintendo game. There are 58 assist trophies, and Pokémon that can be summoned during matches. There are 700 collectible stickers featuring classic Nintendo artwork, and there’s an incredible soundtrack featuring over 330 pieces of music. Safe to say, this is the definitive Nintendo celebration, and with the upcoming fourth game on Wii Wi i U likely to feature even more than this, we’re not sure our little minds will be able to take the information overload.CS

058

GOLDEN SUN: DARK DAWN

Format Nintendo DS Developer Camelot Camelot Software Planning Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2010

W

ith its designers better known for golf games than JRPGs, it’s surprising that the Golden Sun series Sun series is as good as it is. Not only does it borrow from fro m Zelda, Zelda, with with its superb puzzle-based dungeon design, but its turn-based combat can be as lively or as straightforward as you like, thanks to each character’s highly customisable movesets. This makes it an ideal title for old and new players alike, and while the first two t wo GameBoy Advance games are both excellent in their own right, we feel that Dark Dawn’s Dawn’s more succinct story and refined puzzle mechanics make it the best entr y in the series yet. KB

LAST LAST WINDOW WINDOW: THE SECRET OF CAPE WEST Format DS Format DS Developer Cing Developer Cing Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2010

C

ing’s final game for Nintendo – it filed for bankruptcy two months later – is, tellingly, tellingly, an ode to bittersweet endings. Charting the final days of a soon-to-be- demolished apartment building, it’s a shambling mystery played out amongst packing crates and a cast of sad-faced residents. It is, for our money, one of the most human stories ever told in a videogame, perfectly capturing those odd moments of connection that can occur between relative strangers. What other game would put its whole mystery on pause to allow its cast to enjoy a boozy Christmas Eve together? Cing, you will be missed. MC



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NINTENDO GAMES

54

PUNCH-OUT!!

ETERNAL ETERNAL DA DARKN RKNESS ESS:: SANI SANITY’S TY’S REQU REQUIE IEM M

DONKEY KONG COUNTRY

lthoughitwasn’tthefirst Punch-Out!! releas released,theNES ed,theNES game game isregardedby isregardedby mostastheseries’peak.Reducingboxing tosimple dodgeand punchcontrols, punchcontrols, PunchOut!! isessentiallylittlemorethanastringofboss battles, with Little Mac looking looking for the telltale sign each opponent displays before revealing their weak spot. But it’s the character dripping from the game, with huge personality-heavy personality-heav y foes much bigger than any other sprites seen before in a NES game, that made it so memorable, w ith the likes of Glass Joe and even (in some versions) Mike Tyson queuing up to take you on. on . CS

fewyears before before Eternal Eternal Darkness’ 2002 launch, launch, no onewould haveimagined Nintendopublish Nintendopublishinga inga grim, bloody bloody Lovecraftiansurvival-horror Lovecraftiansurvival-horror.. The GameCube GameCube marked marked a mature mature shiftin Nintendo Nintendo’sambitions, ’sambitions, and ED isoneofthatperiod’sstand-outs. Alongside its vast, millennia-spanning story, an all-encompassing atmosphere you could drown in, and the genuinely disturbing implementation of insanity as gameplay, ED’s oppressive narrative and innovative dismemberment combat pushed surviv survival-horror al-horror forward and established the GC as a major creative force.DH

orget orget whatyou knowabout Donkey Kong Country . It may be one of the greatest SNES platformers ever made, but deep down this was really a game about flinging yourself off ledges in the vague hope that there might be a hidden barrel waiting off-screen at the end of it. Packed with more secrets than Super Mario was as compelling as platformers World, DKC was came back in 1994 – and it invented minecart levels, which practically earns it a place on this list by itself. Its pre- rendered 3D graphics look a bit mangy by today’s standards, but DKC showed showed that Rare was a force to be reckoned w ith. KB

Format NES Format NES Developer Nintendo Nintendo R&D3 Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 1987

A

53

Format GameCube GameCube Developer Silicon Silicon Knights Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2002

A

52

Format SNES Developer Rare Rare Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 1994

F

51

WAVE RACE RACE 64

SIN AND PUNISHMENT

F-ZERO X

hat water,man. water,man. Thatwater. Thatwater. Releasedin Releasedin the N64’s launch window, Wave Race 64 was as much of a tech demo for Nintendo’s new 64 -bit system as Super Mario 64, with the beautifully transparent ocean and realistic waves wowing any gamer who happened to look at it – much like F-Zero’s Mode 7 tour-de-force did a generation ago. Miyamoto himself maintains that Wave Race 64 uses “80 per cent of the N64’s power”! The game was much more than just a fancy tech demo, mind. Wave Race 64 is one of the most entertaining racing games to be found on a machine that fra frankly nkly had a selfish amount of cracking racing games. AH

reasure,a reasure,a smallyet punchy punchy development development studio from Tokyo, is responsible for many of the best action games ever made. Sin and Punishment sits comfortably within that descriptor, a game of awe-inspiring life, energy and imagination. It’s an on-rails on-rail s shooter, shooter, but one in which you see your character on-screen, free to dive and tumble through the environment as you’re automatically pushed toward each stage’s conclusion. Few non-Nintendo-made games caused the Nintendo 64 to sing on-screen like this; none offered such an irresistible firework display of bullets and balletic action. That its st yle transcends its aging pixels speaks volumes. SP

lthough F-ZeroGX diditwithmore polish, F-ZeroX did did 30-carracingfirst– andmanystillascertainitdiditbest.It certain certainlydid lydid itfeistiest itfeistiest:: takingout takingout half half thefield with the wild,untamablespinnin wild,untamablespinning g manoeuvre manoeuvre remainsoneofthegreatestthrillsinallof Nintendogaming–madeallthemoregripping bytheeasewithwhichthespincouldeasilysee theperpetrator theperpetrator spiral spiral off the course course totheir doom. doom. Itwas sogood,thedevelope sogood,thedevelopersevensaw rsevensaw fitto make make a BattleRoya BattleRoyalemodeout lemodeout ofit. Add in randomised, and hence infinite, courses and there’s really no reason not to include both F-Zeros in our list. AD

Format N64 Developer Nintendo Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 1996

T

Twitter: @onm_uk

Format N Format N64 Developer Treasure Treasure Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2000

T

Format N Format N64 Developer Nintendo Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 1998

A

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MARIO KART: DOUBLE DASH!! Format GameCube Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2003

A

criminally underrated entry in the Mario Kart series. The bile seems to come from its controversial the ‘two drivers’ gimmick, but mechanically, it only served as a way to allow you to swap between two power-ups on the fly. Say what you want about that, but it gave rise to more interesting tactics. Double Dash!! also enjoyed solid kart handling and some of the tightest pure racing circuits in the entire series – from courses shaped like Yoshi, plump with wide arcs – to Baby Park, a tiny oval track which doesn’t give enough space for the pack to separate. AD

OSU! TATAKAE! OUENDAN

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CHIBI-ROBO! Format GameCube Developer Skip Ltd. Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2005

O

n the face of it, Chibi-Robo! is the story of a heroic little robot who helps with household chores . But behind the candy-coloured exterior lies a tale of domestic turmoil – the Sanderson family are as dysfunctional as the toys which come to life when no humans are present. Enter Chibi to save the day, solving everyone’s problems to earn Happy Points. These tie intelligently into a Metroid-esque structure that lets you explore further for longer with each charge. Smart, cutting and altogether adorable, it deserved to be a much bigger hit than it was. CS

46

FormatDS Publisher iNiS Developer Nintendo Year of release 2005

T

he early days of the DS were incredibly exciting. Nintendo promised new ways to play games, and developers delivered bags of ’em: the likes of Pac-Pix, Yoshi Touch & Go and Project Rub were all thrilling experiments, and Japanese studios in particular were inspired by this curious new dual-screened portable, leading to a thriving import scene. Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan (literally Yeah! Fight! Cheer Squad ) was – and still is – one of the best of that early batch. Ouendan isn’t just a collection of infectious tunes that it’s fun to tap along to (besides, that’s understating it; your inputs contribute shouts, beats and whistles to the music). It’s also a delightfully optimistic game that sets its music to a series of relatable scenarios – from a student being distracted from exam preparations by a noisy family, to a man with a violently churning stomach on the tube – inviting you to call upon the power of a three-man pep squad to save the day with elaborately silly dance routines. Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan will make you laugh, cry and be utterly uplifted – a fizzy tonic designed to make you feel amazing. CS

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THE WONDERFUL 101 RHYTHM TENGOKU Format Wii U Developer Platinum Games Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2013

R

einventing Platinum’s penchant for maddeningly complex gigaviolence as a sentai-inspired comedy romp could have backfired, but what emerged was the perfect combination of Hideki Kamiya’s obsession with multi-weapon precision action systems and a distinctly Nintendo-like focus on sparky new ideas. Sudden Punch-Out!! fights… a section in which you pilot a spaceship onscreen by platforming across its control panel on the GamePad… the fact that you switch between your inventory by physically drawing what you want… When it comes down to it, this is a Mario game after a psychotic episode. JS

Format GBA Developer Nintendo SPD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2006

T

his is best described as portable J-poppacked perfection. Rhythm Tengoku is still one of the only rhythm games where what you see is equally as rewarding as what you do and hear. The secret is two teams working in perfect harmony. The WarioWare crew have managed to haul in a sackful of rainbow lunacy as usual – so you get to pluck hairs out of onion-faced freaks and play hopscotch on blue whales – while composer Tsunku works true magic with the Game Boy Advance’s throaty speaker. The only way we’ll be able to get the tune from Sneaky Spirits out of our heads now is through invasive brain surgery. MG



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MARIO GOLF 64

DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS

ario had appeared in sports games before Mario Golf 64 – he was the umpire in Tennis, the ref in PunchOut!! and he even played in NES Open Tournament Golf – but this was his first full-on Mushroom Kingdom exercise, playing against the likes of Peach, Luigi and Yoshi on courses such as Yoshi’s Island, Boo Valley and Peach’s Castle. Never too silly, Mario Golf 64 respected the game of golf but also made you smile when Donkey Kong smashed a drive with one hand. Mario Golf 64 is the first and arguably the best proper Mario sports game. TE

hen Microsoft bought Rare, it wasn’t so much Bond and Banjo-Kazooiewe shed tears for; it was the DKC series. As one of Nintendo’s biggest and best platformers, Rare’s departure left some pretty King Kong-sized boots to fill, but luckily Retro Studios did just that. It took the DKC formula we knew and loved – ingenious level design and buckets of secrets – and cranked it up to 11 in this nostalgic romp across Kong Island. While the Wiimote-waggle controls were rather unwelcome, there have been few greater comebacks than DKCR. KB

Format Nintendo 64 Developer Camelot Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1999

M

PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE LOST FUTURE

NINTENDO GAMES

42

Format Wii Developer Retro Studios Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2010

W

41

Format Nintendo DS Developer Level 5 Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2008

hat do you get when you take a professor of archaeology, send him 10 years into the future and add a love interest? Easy! It is, of course, the best-ever Professor Layton game. The original Professor Layton game was a surprise hit as players of every (touch) generation enjoyed solving Level 5’s selection of sliding puzzles and brainteasers, and after a second adventure – which took Layton and Luke on a train journey – the third game featured the best plot of the lot. Sure, it’s ludicrous but, thanks to flashbacks, we learned more about Layton himself, including the origins of that hat. As well as a trip through time, it was also an emotional journey for fans of Hershel and many have said that the ending made them cry. Following The Lost Future, the games got even more ridiculous, and it seemed that Level 5 was trying a bit too hard to make stories that would induce tears, but this instalment just about kept its emotions in check. As for the puzzles, they were as good as ever, even if the Superhint made it easier for lazy people to complete the game. TE

W

Twitter: @onm_uk

DONKEY KONG JUNGLE BEAT

LUIGI’S MANSION 2

orget the New Play Control version on Wii; it’s the Cube original that earns its place here. Tasked with finding a use for the DK Bongos after Donkey Konga, EAD Tokyo crafted a 2D platformer that you control by bashing the skins of the plastic peripheral. It sounds bananas, but it doesn’t just work – it works brilliantly. The boss battles are among the most physically satisfying – and exhausting – scraps ever, as you pummel the bongos to smack down simian adversaries. Its combo system is also a joy, incentivising acrobatic mastery as you chain moves to keep DK off the ground as long as possible. An unexpected classic. CS

f a tall dude in overalls came into your house, shone a torch up your chimney, pushed all your vases over and sucked the curtains off the wall with a tiny Dyson, you’d be furious – and yet watching Luigi do it here, all limbs and shrieks, is more or less the most charming thing you’ll ever see. For all of Next Level’s clever design choices – shrinking and splitting the first game’s Mansion into several distinct properties, adding multiplayer, and playing with whole genres for puzzles – it’s how they make the hooting baby-man at the centre of it all so loveable that makes this the modern classic it very much is. JS

Format GameCube Developer EAD Tokyo PublisherNintendo Year of release 2004

F

Format 3DS Developer Next Level Games Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2013

I

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NINTENDO GAMES

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DONKEY KONG

SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE

KID ICARUS: UPRISING

herearen’t many videogameicons that have a birth that’s as mad as Donkey Kong’s – his debut outing was created as a way to recycle old, unwanted arcade cabinets, and at one point was all set to be a Popeye game. In the pulsating god-hands of Miyamoto (and secret ghost-developer Ikegami), however, the rushed refit became a leap forward in gaming, and it’s still a blast to play today – polished down to the individual pixel and bursting with character. It also debuted a squat hero who Miyamoto called “a funny, hang-loose kind of guy” – whatever happened to him, eh? MG

hese days, Sunshine is largely looked down upon as the black sheep of the Mario family. But hose it down and you’ll discover that underneath its sooty exterior is something red, mustachioed and unmistakably dungareed. Super Mario Sunshine is largely celebrated for its Void platforming stages – inspiration for the Mario Galaxy series. But if you accept the rest of the game for what it is, rather than berating it for not being Mario 128, you’ll uncover a platformer that focuses around correcting mistakes under pressure, rather than avoiding them, making it unique amongst Mario games. AD

ith Kid Icarus: Uprising only at number 38 in this countdown, surely there’s been a cock-up at the tallying end (There hasn’t. You dare question me, mortal? – Ed ). This is Nintendo at its most irreverent. Kid Icarus Uprising is a relentless action game, alternating between on foot shooter/melee and aerial combat sections, stuffed with content, replayability, daft musical numbers and fourth wall-breaking jokes. Lady Palutena even makes a vague reference to something distinctly non-Nintendo, because Nintendo are a lot sneakier than people realise. The rum fellows.DC

Format Arcade Developer Nintendo Publisher intendo Year of release 1981

37

Format GameCube Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year 2002

T

36

Format 3DS Developer Project Sora/Sora Ltd . Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2012

W

35

MARIO & LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: SKYWARD SWORD

POKÉMON RED & BLUE

he Mario & Luigi series is one of gaming’s most consistently overlooked franchises. Though the plumber’s papery adventures hog the RPG limelight, the M&L games are more consistent in terms of quality. Much of that comes down to how well AlphaDream nailed the formula in the series’ debut. That formula involved ripping all the tedious elements RPGs typically feature and replacing them with babbling pseudo-Italian, linguistically challenged villains and rhythm-based battling. Who would’ve thought two portly plumbers would be the ones to strip the RPG genre of all its unnecessary fat? AJ

ink’s divisive Wii adventure swapped role-playing for play acting as the MotionPlus-equipped Remote became the blade in your hand. Seeing Link’s arm mimic our own was a moment of profound digital magic, soon put to far-from-profound activities such as dicing up tree stumps. With this, and the other contents of Link’s Remote-rejigged kitbag, you swished through a top adventure, rejecting Twilight Princess’s dourness for a tale of bird-riding sky-dwellers, the proto-Hyrule that lay below them and, in Ghirahim, the demonic jester, a twisted villain who would destroy the whole lot. MC

aking a craze is easy – any number of scheming toymakers have leveraged the hysterical power of young consumers on adult wallets. But do you know what’s not so simple? Turning the dry world of stat-based, 100 -hour JRPGs into a welcoming, endlessly playable children’s game, while retaining a competitive complexity that spawned global championships and has adults fighting over which dragon is the best dragon to this day. Blue and Red have aged in many ways, but that the new games remain so indebted to the 15-year-old originals is testament to Game Freak’s systemic genius from day one. JS

Format GBA Developer AlphaDream Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2003

T

062

Format Wii Developer NintendoEAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2011

L

Format: Game Boy Developer: Game Freak Publisher: Nintendo Year of release: 1996

M



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NINTENDO GAMES

32

PERFECT PERFECT DARK

SUPER SUPER MARIO 3D WORLD

P

I


erfect Dark is Dark is a weird one. The campaign – although featuring more varied missions, bigger levels and co-op play – doesn’t feel as impressive asGoldenEye as GoldenEye 007 . The multiplayer, although it has a really cool selection of weapons, never really gets the recognition it deserves, with Rare’s previous Bond-’em-up being remembered more fondly. That’s the reality. Despite being a ‘better’ game, the lack of Bond does hurt Perfect Dark a Dark a bit… meaning it is merely an incredible game, rather than an all-time classic remembered by gamers and non-gamers alike. AH

31

Format Wii U Developer Nintendo EAD Tokyo Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2013

f the Super Mario Galaxy twins twins took us to the farthest reaches of Shigeru Miyamoto’s design universe, Super Mario 3D World took World took us back to the terra firma joy of multiplayer. Here, Here, Nintendo EAD’s playfulness and creativity is shown not so much in the world design but in the characters therein, and the joy of encountering them alongside friends. The ice-skating Goombas… the stages played out in silhouette… the boss battle finale… every aspect of the game displays Nintendo EAD’s master craftsmanship; its staff’s lifetimes of skill that cannot be bettered by other game-makers. SP

30

PIKMIN 3 Format Wii U Developer Nintendo EAD Group No. 4 Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2013

S

till the weirdest real-time strategy around, Pikmin remains Pikmin remains as enigmatic and wonderful as the original was back in 2001. The third outing gets the formula just right. The first was too short, its 30-day time limit too restrictive. The sequel removed the limit, but in doing so blunted its strategic edge. Pikmin 3 asks 3 asks you to split each day’s work between your three tiny astronaut protagonists. You will need juice from the delicious-looking fruit you collect to keep your crew alive, and while that’s straightforward enough to achieve, it applies sufficient suffic ient pressure to subtly encourage efficiency, multi-tasking and careful time management. And not to mention demanding that you take greater care of your diminutive charges, who you’re still lobbing at otherworldly crustaceans, insects and other fauna, as well as getting them to cart items and foodstuffs home. You certainly won’t be idle. Challenge stages expertly up the ante with strict t ime limits: mastering them is where the longevity lies in a game connoisseurs may well conclude is one of Miyamoto’s finest.CS finest. CS

Twitter: @onm_uk

MARIO KART 64

Format N64 Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1996

I

t’s not always clear which games will go the distance, but we’ve seen enough N64s retrieved from attics alongside copies of Mario Kart 64 to know that humanity humanity will still be drift ing around Yoshi Valley in a couple of nuclear wars’ time. Along withGoldenEye with GoldenEye,, it’s the perfect party par ty game: full of immediately iconic characters, courses and music, and rife with secrets and tricks to master over time. Despite the cutesy look,MK look, MK 64 64 can be an unforgiving game that really rewards player investment and skill. Years may pass between those attic expeditions, but you don’t forget how to Mario Kart – it’s like riding a bike. TS

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK BETWEEN WORLDS Format 3DS Developer Ninte Developer Nintendo ndo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2013

Z

elda’s elda’s always been a series about repetition, so it was only a matter of t ime before Nintendo reused an entire game. But what this does with A with A Link Link To The Past Past’s Hyrule is far more than a rehash. It’s as if keeping the world precisely the same allowed producer Eiji Aonuma to go bananas elsewhere, reworking the entire structure of Zel of Zelda da’s ’s itemled unlocks, plunging from top-down 2D to side-on 3D with its new Link-as-chalky-cavepainting ability and jerking all the tears through the Milk Bar’s folksy cover band. It’s brand new within an old template – and what screams Zelda Zelda more than that? JS

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THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS

SUPER MARIO BROS.

kay, so the overworld is a bit pants. And yes, the in-game currency is about as worthless as the Weimar Republic’s banknotes. And okay, that first dungeon with the monkeys is so weird that Lady Gaga reportedly bases her wardrobe around it. But, listen: we think Twilight Princess is due a critical reappraisal . Why? Because its dungeons are absolutely best in class. Ocarina… LTTP… SkywardSword… none of these have dungeons that can hold a candle to the glorious Temple of Time, which loops back on itself in genius fashion, or the ceiling-stomping majesty majest y of the Goron Mines. AD

here aren’t many games who nail their mechanics in the first entry in the series. However, it’s a testament to the perfect design of Super Mario Bros. that all of its main elements – the jumping physics; bouncing off enemies to kill them; collecting mushrooms; 1-ups; that famous boss battle with Bowser – have remained intact for nearly 30 years. Miyamoto’s creation may have been surpassed many times over in terms of size and style, but the importance of Super Mario Bros. – which arguably saved the gaming industry from going under – should never be ignored. CS

Format GameCube/Wii Developer NintendoEADGroupNo. 3 Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year 2006

PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSANDYEAR DOOR

26

Format NES Nintendo R&D4 Developer Nintendo Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1985

25

Format GameCube Developer Intelligent Systems Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2004

he sequel to the N64’s excellent Paper takes that Mario, The Thousand-Year Door takes creative nugget of an idea – actual 2D Mario – and vastly improves on it. From a chapter that has Mario performing as a wrestler while trying to solve a mystery involving rigged matches, mysterious emails and voices coming from behind the walls to a chapter that requires you to get Russian-accented Bob-ombs to fire you at the moon in a big cannon. The Thousand-Year Door will always keep you guessing. Cameos are peppered throughout the game, with Bowser appearing between chapters to stomp his way through a 2D side-scrolling platformer and Peach attempting to save herself from imprisonment with the help of an amorous computer. The dialogue also has some of the most witty lines you’ll find in a Mario game and it’s brilliantly localised as well – in the same league as Superstar Saga ’s Fawful. is a game that’s the The Thousand-Year Door is sum of its thousand tiny, wonderful parts; an absolute triumph from start to finish. KG

T

064

LYLAT WARS

EARTHBOUND

he game that caused the hands of N64 owners worldwide to tremble! Largely because of the fact that it was the game that launched the Rumble Pak, but also because this sequel to the SNES’ Star Fox was an absolute cast iron belter of a game. New vehicles, multiple routes, hidden levels and really tough to achieve gold medals gave Lylat Wars mega-replayability and it really is a proper ‘bigger, better’ sequel to Star Fox. It does feature a lot of the stuff from the sadly unreleased but amazingly finished Star Fox 2, which you can find and play on ‘the internet’, if you know what we mean? AH

arthBound is one of the few Japanese RPGs to opt for the familiarity of a Western town for its locale rather than the familiar high fantasy of knights and castles. Designer Design er Shigesato Itoi ignored the prevailing fashions of the day to create a game grounded in reality, founded on profundity and wrapped in humour. Its mundane items (withdraw cashpoint money and replenish health with chocolate bars) and scenery work in the game’s favour. This is an adventure anyone can imagine having. With its colourful palette, simplistic approachable sprite art and endlessly rich soundtrack, EarthBound represents a singular and enduring vision. SP

Format N64 Developer Nintendo Nintendo EAD Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1997

T

Format SNES SNES Developer Ape/HAL Ape/HAL Laboratory Nintendo Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1994

E



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THE LEG LEGEND OF WARIOW ARIOWARE, INC.: ZELD ZELDA: A: LINK’S LINK’S MEGA MEGA MICROGAMES MICROGAMES!! AWAKENING Format Game Game Boy Advance Developer Nintendo Nintendo R&D1 Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2003

W

ikipediasays:“WarioWare ikipediasays:“WarioWare revolves aroundthe conceptof microgames, microgames, bite-si bite-sizedminig zedminigame amess that that lastfor only only a fewseconds.In fewseconds.In these these microg microgame ames, s, which which are contro controlledby lledby thedirection thedirectional al padand A buttons buttons,, theplayermustfigureoutwhattheyare suppos supposed ed to do,aidedby a word word or phrasethat phrasethat appear appearss briefly,and briefly,and clear clear thecondition theconditionss within within the timelimit.”Dull, time limit.”Dull, huh?It’s anything but. WarioWare is WarioWare is videogames deconstructed, reduced to their simplest building blocks, and then lobbed at you at increasing speed by a madman until you can’t cope any more.CS

21

NINTENDO GAMES

Format GameBoy Format GameBoy Developer Ninte Developer Nintendo ndo EAD Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 1993

L

ink’sAwakeningput ink’sAwakening putss aside aside Link’s Link’s eternal eternal quest to destroy Ganondorf to tell a stranger, sadder tale exploring the power of dreams. Nothing seems quite right from the moment you wash up on its shores, with familiar faces and environments done away with in favour of an island even weirder than the one onLost onLost.. Koholint’s inhabitants include a short-fused shopkeeper and two men that look a lot like Mario and Luigi, and sidescrolling platforming bits where you can jump on Goombas’ heads. Memorable characters and dungeons await in this experimental take on the Zelda Zelda formula. formula. TS

20

ADV AD VANCE ANCE WARS

Format Game Game Boy Advance Developer Intelligent Systems Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2001

W

arishell–justnotifyoulookatthis game.Here, generals generals makewisecracks afterchibi-l after chibi-like ike battalions battalions havebeen mown mown down down by choppers,toy choppers,toy cities cities have have been capturedand recaptured recaptured and Duplobattles Duplo battleships hips havescorche have scorched d the earth.It comes part part and parcel with one of the breeziest tactical RPG systems ever made, shrinking and streamlining intense passages of strategy into practically a single button, helping make up for the fact that you’re regularly put into unwinnable skirmishes and asked to work out the single perilous, beautifully engineered escape. This is heaven to play. JS

19

ANIMAL ANIMAL CROSS CROSSIN ING G: NEW LEAF EAF

THE THE LEG LEGENDOF ND OFZE ZELD LDA: A: MAJORA MAJORA’S ’S MASK MASK F-ZERO GX

W

ajora’s ajora’s Maskistheblacksheepofthe Mask istheblacksheepofthe Zelda Zelda corpus corpus:: no Zelda, Zelda, no Ganond Ganondorf, orf, norealenemyexceptarather cantankerouscelestial cantankerouscelestial satellite satellite bearingdown on you. Its three-day cycle revels in minute details rather than a grand, linear storyline, taking place in a world which slowly blossoms around you. By far the creepiest game inThe in The Legend of Zelda series, with plenty of death, destruction and hauntingly bleak dirges replacingOcarina replacing Ocarina’s ’s jauntie jauntierr melodi melodies, es, you might might be forgive forgiven n for thinking it’s a strangely stark adventure for child Link, but this is Nintendo’s creativity in its most unrestrainedly pure form. KG

Format Nintendo Nintendo 3DS Developer Nintendo Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2012

hyisthisgamesobrilliant?It’sa fruit-picking, furniture-arranging, mortgage-paying, fellow-villagerhatingsimula hatingsimulationwherefish tionwherefish arereallyhardto catch catch andbugsare frighten frightened ed awayif you breathetoo breathetoo loudlyfrom loudlyfrom tenfeet away. away. Youcan createan createan avatarwith avatarwith bright bright pink pink hair, hair, a hockey hockey maskanda maskanda T-sh T-shir irtt that that says“DIEDIEDIE” says“DIEDIEDIE”.. You You can givefoss givefossil ilss toan owl.Youcan owl.Youcan get get swind swindledbya ledbya raccoon raccoon.. Whyis thisgameso brillia brilliant?Becaus nt?Because e everyminuteyou everyminuteyou putinto it enhancesthe enhancesthe next one. It’s a constant battle to make everything just how you want it. And when you’re finally satisfied, you can start all over again. KG

Twitter: @onm_uk

Format N Format N64 Developer Nintendo Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2000

M

Format GameCube GameCube Developer Amusement Amusement Vision Publisher Nintendo Nintendo Year of release 2003

O

h,foranother F-Zero F-Zero GX in GX in ourlifetime. Thisdebut collaboratio collaboration n between Sega’s Sega’s AmusementVision AmusementVision arcade arcade departmentand departmentand Nintendois Nintendois perhaps perhaps thefinest futuristic futuristic raceryet conceived conceived;; a potent potent game thatlingersin themuscle memory. memory. Sprawling 30-manracesstreakandwind throughvast throughvast courses courses thattest reflexes reflexes and hand-eyecoordinationinawaythathasnever been bettered. It’s quick like like nothing else, and the slightest mistake is punished in the stric test terms, shattering your craft into a shower of pixels, or careening off the track’s loop-delooping sides into oblivion. SP

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FIRE EMBLEM: AWAKENING

SUPER MARIO WORLD 2: YOSHI’S ISLAND

ntelligent Systems is about as upfront a developer name as they come, but it misses a key facet of what makes the world’s best SRPG creator such a force. They’re not just professional headscratchers, but heartstring-tuggers, too. That’s never clearer than in Awakening, no doubt the best game in its series, arguably the best game the studio’s ever made, rich with stats, chess-like forward thinking and enough grids to fill an exercise book. And yet, among all this pondersome fare lie miniature stories of birth, death, friendship and love, told with a lightness of touch and sense of humour. JS

espite not quite standing up next toSuper Mario World in pure platforming terms, Yoshi’s Island easily deserves a place in this list due to its staggering presentation and boundless feats of imagination. The game’s crayon-style visuals – a rebellious move from Miyamoto after he was ordered to make the game look like Donkey Kong Country – haven’t aged a day, with even the game’s own two sequels sadly failing to recapture its magic. It also deserves a mention for the fact that you have to throw eggs at one of the bosses until his trousers fall down. SB

Format 3DS Developer IntelligentSystems Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2012

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XENOBLADE CHRONICLES

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Format SNES Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1995

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FormatWii Developer Monolith Soft Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2011

t its moment of release, the Japanese RPG had almost fully fallen from favour. The millions of players who had saved world after world in the Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest series had grown weary of the mostly stagnant systems; the jarring random battles; the inscrutable storylines; the nuclear grade hair gel. Sales declined. Review scores dipped. The Japanese RPG became the butt of an apocalyptic joke. Then, later into the Wii’s lifecycle, Monolith Soft created Xenoblade Chronicles. It’s a game that does away with all of the frustrations of its chosen genre, borrowing cues from World of Warcraft for its battle system, allowing players to save and teleport anywhere within its world. And what a world! This must be the only game whose expanse rests on the arms, legs and shoulders of a giant stone god. Its battle system is slick and interesting, its characters engaging and vivid, its world endlessly intriguing. The result was is one of the strongest and most interesting releases of the past decade, a game that revitalised interest in a fading genre. SP

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TETRIS

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3

etris is a Mozart. A Minecraft. A once in a lifetime work. A cultural force that can never be bettered by even its own creator. The question that Tetris, Alexey Pajitnov’s block-clearing puzzle game asks its player – ‘How long can you last?’ – has been echoed by thousands of subsequent games through the years. Yet rarely do players attempt to answer its challenge so many times over – again and again we arrange and rearrange the blocks in Tetris’ Soviet bucket. We try to manage our mess. We learn to live with our mistakes. It’s a simple game, yet a finely tuned one, and one with endless and enriching complexity. SP

ario was already a household name by the time this threequal emerged towards the end of the NES’ lifespan. But this was the game that really saw the portly plumber fulfil his portly potential. Flight – via the never-explained medium of raccoon tail – added a new dimension to the platform action, allowing you to soar over turtle heads (notthat kind of turtle head, thank you) and explore clouds made of condensed coins. And it’s uniquely timeless amongst NES games. If you said your favourite game is Metroid or Zelda II, you’d be a big fibber. But Mario Bros. 3? It’s as box fresh today as it was in ’91. AD

Format Game Boy Developer Bullet-Proof Software Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1989

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Format NES Developer Nintendo R&D4 Publisher Nintendo Released 1988

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FEATURE

GREATEST NINTENDO GAMES

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METROID PRIME GameCube Format Developer Retro Studios Publisher Nintendo Year of release: 2002

intendo’s track record for taking beloved 2D classics and turning them into breathtaking3D experiences is unmatched, as you’ll no doubt see throughout this list. Despite this, a first-person Metroid game sstill filled diehard fans of Samus’ adventures with worry – a shooter? What about the platforming? Whatabout the exploring? Turns out, there was no need to worry. Metroid Prime is every bit a fantastic Metroid game. It has that feeling of isolation on a varied, interconnected, alien world full of areas to explore. It even makes platforming in first person actually work! AH

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THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE WIND WAKER

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THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK TO THE PAST Format SNES Developer NintendoEAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1991

Link to the Past took the roaming, open exploration of the original Zelda and tied

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it down slightly, including a more involved story, a richer world, and better puzzles and combat. It’s arguably the most important Zelda game, establishing a structure that would serve the series over the next couple of decades. The game’s dense, detailed worlds brim with well-designed puzzles and bosses, and smartly hidden secrets to decipher. Many a childhood summer was spent poking at its shrubberies and exploding its walls in an effort to unravel every last thread. TS

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Format GameCube/Wii U Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2002/2013

he howls of derision that greeted those first screens have long since faded into irrelevance. Indeed, the complaints look increasingly daft as time goes by, because Wind Waker ’s bold art is probably its greatest strength. This is, to all extents and purposes, a playable cartoon; the kind of teatime TV adventure we excitedly watched as kids – only now we’re playing the starring role. It’s gorgeous, evocative and expressive, from the rolls of white spume as you glide along the ocean’s surface, to the swaggering Moblins, sent packing with interest as Link rolls away from their spears and jabs his sword into their cel-shaded bottoms. It’s a slighter game than most Zeldas, and it’s perhaps a little easy in places. But these are minor gripes, borne only from a deep love of a series that always has something of the magical about it. Wind Waker has a larger sprinkling of fairy dust than most: sailing out into the great unknown provokes tingles of anticipation and excitement, and the sequence where you descend beneath the waves leads to one of the greatest-ever Zelda moments. CS

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Twitter: @onm_uk

POKÉMON: HEARTGOLD/ SOULSILVER

SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2

f Red and Blue created the recipe, Gold and Silver won the Michelin star. These brilliant DS remakes are a testament to that. The pair take the originals’ good work – the excellently expanded Pokédex, breeding features and more complex behind-the-scenes stat business – and spruce it all up like a fussing mother, dusting down lapels and neatening any messy edges. Game Freak even saw fit to help players trim the flab with the addition of the Pokéwalker pedometer, whereby in-game experience is earned by pounding the pavement. The best games in the series made better? We’d say that qualifies them for the list. JS

ven the galaxy wasn’t large enough to contain Nintendo’s restless imagination: in the end, they had to give us two. It’s telling that, after Super Mario Galaxy 2, a sequel to end sequels, the company retreated back into the 3D World for its subsequent outing. This riot of excitement and ingenuity, this endless parade of wondrous set-pieces set upon rocks and planets, each containing a distinct and fully-formed idea, was a grand conclusion to Shigeru Miyamoto’s trajectory from Land to World to Galaxy . A game of joyful abandon and blistering ingenuity, Galaxy 2 – perhaps more than any other – will stand time’s test. SP

Format DS Developer GameFreak Publisher Nintendo Year of release 2009

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Format: Wii Developer EAD Tokyo Publisher Nintendo Year of release: 2010

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NINTENDO GAMES

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GOLDENEYE 007

SUPER METROID

SUPER MARIO 64

es, if you play it now, time hasn’t been too kind to GoldenEye 007 , but its impact can’t be understated – Rare’s legendary Bond game is one of the most important games of all time. When it was released, first-person shooters, especially multiplayer ones, belonged to the PC gamer. Until, of course,GoldenEye was released and changed everything. GoldenEye 007 is a great FPS. It has huge levels with multiple objectives, and a massive variet y of weapons that offered you different ways to approach situations. It has locational damage and a sniper rifle you could zoom RIGHT IN w ith. It also has a four-player multiplayer mode that brought the competitive FPS to the masses. GoldenEye quickly ousted Mario Kart as the go-to multiplayer game of choice. You could change the weapon sets, the rules and the characters, tweaking the experience to your group’s tastes. No Oddjob allowed, of course. Before the Call of Duty s and the Halos had even been thought of, GoldenEye 007 showed that there was a place for multiplayer first-person shooters on consoles. It is that important. AH

here are triple-A, bigger budget 3D games that fall short of creating the atmosphere that Super Metroid does. When Samus first steps out of her spacecraft and on to Planet Zebes, the sounds and visuals combine perfectly to create a sense of isolation on an unexplored alien world. And later on, as you travel into the depths of Norfair, Zebes’ core, you feel like you’re deep within the world. You feel the heat. Super Metroid doesn’t seem like just a bunch of levels lumped together. Zebes feels like a real place, with a real history that doesn’t just force itself upon you through a bunch of hamfisted cutscenes. It’s a game about exploration. A s you explore, you don’t just find secrets, power-ups and, ultimately, the way to go – you find out about Zebes; about Samus; about the Metroids. It also does that brilliant Nintendo thing, where you’ll almost always figure out what to do next before the game explicitly tells you to, making you feel like a genius throughout. Super Metroid is a masterpiece. Every inch of it a work of Nintendo that stands with their very best. So good, it half-named a genre. AH

or those brought up to explore vast virtual cities, it might be difficult to imagine the wonder of jumping around Princess Peach’s front garden, but simply being able to run, jump and triple jump around on the grass in front of her castle was incredible. It got even better when you leapt through a wobbly painting and attempted to collect stars on the way to rescuing the Princess and grabbing a slice of cake. It was truly groundbreaking (not the rescuing Princess Peach bit) and so much fun. Whether you were racing down the Princess’s secret slide, being shot out of a cannon to soar to the island in the sky, or running up Tall, Tall Mountain, Super Mario 64 was hugely enjoyable and moved the series on so far that it took Nintendo more than a decade to beat it with Super Mario Galaxy . Even then, Galaxy ’s Comet Observatory isn’t a patch on Peach’s Castle, a venue that you’d come to know as your second home, recalling every nook and cranny as you explored. Sure the boss battles were a tad repetitive, but when compared to the competition (Crash Bandicoot, Gex, Croc), Super Mario 64 was ahead of its time. TE


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Format SNES Developer Nintendo RD&1 Publisher Nintendo Year of release: 1994

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Format N64 Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1996

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MARIO KART 8

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ow do you save a flagging console? Well, creating the best version of quite possibly the world’s most universally loved multiplayer game will help. It all comes out of a simple philosophy: create a truly meticulous racer, then stop the resulting game from being boring. If we’d been told beforehand that Mario and co’s eighth lap would be a painstakingly executed, skill-based racer, swapping a focus on shortcuts and random item drops for well-timed boosts and perfect drifts, we might have wept. But in action, it’s as frenetic and fun-loving as it ’s ever been – courses new and old emerging as twisted, Escher-like constructions, and anti-gravity sections adding fresh spectacle and skill to the mix. Add the fact that, for the first t ime, Mario Kart can finally look like the living cartoon it always purported to be, and you might never notice that the game forces you, oh-so gently, to start slinging yourself in perfect arcs around corners, ruthlessly dispatching competitors as you go. Time will tell how history judges the Wii U, but we’re confident we’ll feel the same about Mario Kart 8 for many years to come. JS

Twitter: @onm_uk

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ER SMASH OS. MELEE

Format: Wii U Developer: Nintendo EAD Publisher: Nintendo Year of release: 2014

NINTENDO GAMES

SUPER MARIO WORLD

Format: GameCube Developer: HAL Laboratory Publisher: Nintendo Year of release: 2001

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elee stands as the moment that Nintendo realised it had passed from plucky developer to revered legend, when it could look across its glittering past and smile at decades of hard graft, landmark invention and creative genius. Then it got all its characters to punch each other in the mouth. This is the amazing thing about Melee – it doesn’t just whoop at the sheer glory of the company’s past, presenting its characters on some sort of digital red carpet. Rather, the whole thing becomes some kind of hyper-aggressive version of a Balloon Debate where, rather than Abraham Lincoln solemnly arguing his case against Marie Curie, you get Ness clocking a baseball bat against Pikachu’s soft skull. It plays like a dream, its simple, stabbing controls turning the beat ‘em up genre on it s head, preferring on-screen spectacle to nerdy finger-gymnastics. That creator Masahiro Sakurai publicly admitted it was a better game than its excessive sequel says it all – it’s a celebration of play from top to bottom, past to present. No other developer on Earth could make this game. JS

Format SNES Developer Nintendo EAD Publisher Nintendo Year of release 1990

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uper Mario Bros may have laid out the template, and Super Mario Bros 3 may have greatly improved on it, but Super Mario World mastered it. Mario’s first 16-bit adventure single-handedly made the SNES a must-have console, offering gamers an enormous platforming adventure the scale of which had never been seen at that point. As well as enhancing the flight mechanics of its predecessor by introducing the cape power-up, Super Mario World also introduced Yoshi, a new character who would become not only a Mario staple, but one of the most popular Nintendo characters of all. With oodles of surprises to discover, including the secret Star Road map, the even more secret Special World map (with levels named Gnarly, Tubular and the like), and the bizarre autumnthemed version of the game which replaced Koopa Troopa shells with Mario masks, Super Mario World was so far ahead of its time it was unreal. Even if you play it for the first time today on Virtual Console, nearly 25 years later, it will quickly become one of your favourite Mario games. CS

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THIRD PARTY GAMES

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: OCARINA OF TIME Format N64 Publisher Nintendo Developer Nintendo Year of release 1998

ario or Link? Your answer is the bedrock upon which your Nintendo fandom is built. And for the Zelda fan it’s very much a building process. Miyamoto drew up the blueprints on the NES and laid the groundwork on SNES, but it wasn’t until Ocarina that we finally stepped through the door into his finished world. Watching the sun rise over Lake Hylia; galloping across Hyrule Field – these experiences have become eye-rolling clichés, but they’re repeated for a reason. No other game has invented as much asOcarina Of Time and got it so right. Think of the jump from2D mazes to these dungeons – the command of 3D space needed to conceive the Water Temple, let alone build it, still escapes today’s level designers. It created the standard for the modern lock-on

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system so the team could make real the dance of blades from their minds eyes’ when they made Zelda II’s side-on slashing. Or the soundtrack? So good, hundreds of thousands of fans go on pilgrimage around the world to hear it. Every thing aboutOcarina is really something. The risk is that we look at all its firsts – the scale of the world, the illusion of life, the technological mastery – and simply chalkOcarina Of Time up as An Important Game. It deserves reverence, but it would die if consigned to a museum.Ocarina’s brilliance, much like its hero, is that it has no idea just how important it is. It just wants to bother chickens, play terrible song covers on the ocarina, and confront pureevil from time to time. The last place forOcarina Of Time is on a pedestal. Yank it down, jam it in a cart slot – N64 and 3DS – and be wowed afresh.MC


FEATURE 1

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GREATEST THIRD PARTY GAMES

SUPER MARIO GALAXY Format Wii Publisher Nintendo Developer Nintendo Year of release 2007

ink or Mario? Your answer is the bedrock upon which your Nintendo fandom is built. Of course, the Mario fan laughs in the face of bedrock – a new adventure begins every time their feet leave the ground. Admittedly, it has made for some short adventures: jump, brick, fin. Not so in Galaxy . Leave the ground here and you could end up anywhere: atop a giant apple, skating across a gleaming ice donut, swooping through a volcano mid-explosion or simply circling a nugget of comet in your own personal orbit. Love letters to Galaxy have a tendency to turn into lists of cool stuff you jumped off from. The secret is, its kaleidoscopic shifting of ideas only works because of the game’s one constant – it’s him with the hat and the helium shrieks. No character is as satisf ying to move as Galaxy Mario – from the simple tact ility of his pit-pattering feet to

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Twitter: @onm_uk

the whiplash analogue flick that yanks him into a side flip. And his long jump! The way the nunchuck’s Z-trigger forces you to scrunch your hand into a fist, just as he bunches up his own body, before the tap of A releases you both, is a haptic wonder. Some bemoaned the lack of larger landmasses. But doesn’t a platformer begin where the ground ends? Super Mario Galaxy cuts away every inch of needless turf until only pure fun remains. It’s a universe of shoe-sucking mud planets, climbable bee fur, impossible orbs of shimmering water, death-defying leaps from the peaks of icy spires and – shakes fist – Luigi’s Purple Coins. Hell, even standing still is better than 95% of other games, given that sublime soundtrack. We’re humming Gusty Garden Galaxy right now – Super Mario Galaxy worms its way into the deepest parts of the brain, you see. It can stay there, forever.MC

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074. Super Smash Bros. for 3DS Impossibly, the new handheld version of Nintendo’s career-topping brawler is as feature-packed as its cousin on Wii U. Take a swing at this, why not.

Your essential guide to every new release

082. Stealth Inc 2

086. Bayonetta 2

Dinky yet resourceful robot puzzler sets a benchmark for both sneakiness and toe-curling puns.

Don’t bring a gun to a knifefight. Do bring four guns, a demon hair-whip and a pair of Indian swords.

90-100% Gold A stone-cold classic

50-69% F awe Solidbutunspectacular

80-89% Silver Good times guaranteed

30-49% Trou e Tending towardsrubbish

70-79% Bronze Great, but you won’t buy it

0-29% T ox c To beavoi e atallcosts

REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS Nintendo’s fight club gets boxing clever on handheld Keydetails Format 3DS Publisher Nintendo Developer Sora/ Namco Bandai Multiplayer 1-4 Out Now

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asahiro Sakurai, SmashBros. creator andloverofclutter,saidinthepast thathe approaches everyinstalment asifitwerehislast.Itexplainsthe ludicrouswealthofcontent–thisisaman scrabblingto squeeze Nintendohistoryinto a timecapsule–butdoesn’titalsosuggestthe gamehashitamechanicaldeadend?Ifeach gameisafullstopontheseries,howcanyou emerge fiveyears laterpromising something entirely new? Howdo youimproveon definitive?

*alarmnoise* NEWCHALLENGERAPPROACHING. “I’lltellyouhow!” *audiencegasps* Yes,I, JoeSkrebels– vagabondcritic and ONM’s wrestling-styleheel– amhere toassist Matthew withhis conundrum.The solutionlies in Sakurai’s seemingcompulsionto includeevery facet ofNintendohistoryhe can.Afterrelatively humblebeginningsonN64,Meleeaddedthe wealthofcharactersand Brawl added,well, everything else, froma giganticmusiclibraryto Assist Trophies(i.e.Sakurai’s “allthe characters I couldn’t possiblyfit inbutwantedto becauseI ammad”category).The fourth instalment simplyaddsanewdimensiontothatallencompassingphilosophy – itsetsitselfup on anentirelydifferentkind ofconsole.Handheld SmashBros.,somehow, changeseverything. MC: Andyet,so littleis actually different.The first

thingthathitsyouis,well,howfamiliaritistohit someoneelse.There’slessofthegulfthat existedbetween Melee and Brawl: it’sregained someof the former’s speed, perhaps (although playingas nippyLittleMachas skewed my perceptiona tad), butthere’sno major shake-up a la Final Smash or AssistTrophies.Instead, Sakuraifocusesonpumpingupthelatter– seeingProf. Kawashimajoin thefray tospit explosivesums at thefightersis a joy. Kawashima + Matthew = love. JS: You’re terribleat maths.Butthat excess,that

Sound Off There’s a huge tracklist of the game’s brilliant soundtrack – but we like the Wii Fit Trainer voiceover clips, which were apparently recorded in the world’s deepest well.

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willingness totake andremake thehallmarksof Nintendogamesas farmore violent toolsis the essenceof Smash Bros. Ifanything, that’s the trueadditionhere–there’smoreofNintendo’s storybehindthatmindlessviolencethan ever. SeeingAnimalCrossing’ssleepy-eyedVillager rocket-launch hisjudderinggyroid buddy, Lloid intoPalutena’s gut(seeminglyburningthe living treethingalivein theprocess)doesn’tfit withthe smileyimagethe companyprojects, butit’s testament totheir abilitytocreate characterswewanttoplaywithmore.Inthe caseof WiiFitTrainer, Sakurai’s even turneda literallyblankcharacter intoa fitofwhistle


REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS

The Lowdown Four mascots enter, one mascot leaves. Well, actually, the three other mascots leave, too, but they do it screaming and at 100 miles per hour. The other mascot gets to walk down some stairs or something – this part is never fully explained.

Twitter: @onm_uk

Playable Characters

Collectible Trophies

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Playable Ridley? Nope!

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REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS StreetPass Twist In such a feature-rich package, it’s appropriate that the 3DS’ brilliant solo-social feature gets its own mode. StreetPassing other game owners has you swapping character-themed spinning tops, which you then battle in top-down, Sumo-rules encounters. Winning nets you gold to spend on the Vault or Trophy Rush. Somehow, even this tiny portion of the game is better than any Beyblade tie-in we’ve ever played.

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assisted yoga attacks, an unexpectedly hilarious addition to the line-up. MC: Newcomers aside, I’m amazed at the sheer

Nintendocity of it all. Sakurai isn’t content with generic bumpers, mines and beam swords – instead it’s all Steel Diver torpedoes, Kid Icarus: Uprising drill arms and Skyward Sword’s gust bellows. Even Namco get some love with the horribly overpowered Boss Galaga that snags fighters in a tractor beam and airlifts them to their doom. JS: Honestly? Screw that thing. MC: Yeah, some of the new items are weirdly

overpowered – they’re ‘instant kill’ weapons that, like the Home Run Bat, do crazy damage if you just get the opportunity to deploy them properly. I don’t have a problem with them individually – giving Peach and her infini-float a faceful of gust bellows from the arena edge is hilarious – but they can overpower battles together. I’d say pre-fight item customisation is a must, even for the more anarchic Smash fan.

We’re not sure there’s a yoga exercise to cure “massive mushroom head”.

player clock there are still 25 characters I haven’t even touched. It speaks to the strength of the new faces – movesets are much closer tied to the source material than a desired fighting style. So Villager gets to stuff his pockets with every projectile going (he can even cram Rush, Mega Man’s pet pooch, in there), Little Mac earns what amounts to a second Final Smash, the K.O. punch, by landing smaller jabs and Palutena’s entire moveset can be calibrated, a la Uprising’s multiplayer avatars. Rosalina and Pac-Man are slight exceptions to the rule. Neither quite fits an established fighter template. I struggle to make the most of the former’s Pikmin-ish potential (send out her attack dog Luma and you can attack two locations at once) and the latter is a hodgepodge of retro nods, pottering around on legs one second, morphing into his half-eaten pizza form the next. Guess it would have looked rude to take up all that Bandai Namco office space without giving them one cameo. Mega Man fares better, but then he was built for combat to begin with.

“Some new items are weirdly overpowered weapons that do crazy damage”

JS: It’s an odd one – perhaps the first time

Play It Again Pressing Y on the results screen of any match saves a replay of the preceding punch-up to your SD card, which can be rewatched from the Vault at your discretion.

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Sakurai’s hoarder tendencies have slipped into worrying, reality TV-worthy territory – but it highlights the unexpected strength of this handheldedition. Super Smash Bros. for 3DSis packed with stuff. When Sakurai promised a fully-fledged experience, we expected the (still unbelievable) 60 frames-per-second performance, and full movesets, but we weren’t expecting to see the hundreds of music racks, dozens of modes and newly-introduced depth of character customisation. As ever, Smash Bros. is your game, and offers total control over how you play – it’s like being given, PC-like modding tools in legible console UI clothing. MC: It’s almost as if you have to choose which bit

of the game to play. With 20 hours on the single

JS: The crown, though, goes to the Mii, your

chance to finally add yourself and any number of friends, family or dubious historical figures to your game. Actually three separate fighters (the pummelling Brawler, more sophisticated, precise Sword Fighter and ranged sci-fi coward Gunner), it’s brilliant way to leverage what’s usually a dull extra skin (looking at you, Mario Kart) as something far more exciting, genuinely excellent additions to the roster that could almost act as tutorials for Smash Bros’ long-establishedfighter archetypes. The Miis are also the best place to begin with the game’s biggest addition – character customisation. Every entry on that character select screen now incorporates up to 10 different versions of that character – in the www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk

REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS

Smashed Mouth All-Star mode is a neat little aside for solo and co-op play, pitting your chosen fighter against waves of chronologicially similar opponents drawn from across video game history. It’s not part icularly tough – the Mario-Pac-Man- Donkey Kong dream team are about as strong as newborn deer – but you only have one life to do it in, and your damage percentage can only be lowered using the limited items available.

Smash Run is often an all-too literal title. Get the hell out of there.

This is far less violent than the real disputes Joe and Matthew have.

Non-Nintendo characters come with their own unique strengths and weaknesses. Mega Man’s versatile, Sonic’s fast and Pac-Man’s stupid face is really satisfying to deck.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS You Stay Classic After thedemiseof Subspace Emissary (suckit,Miiverse moaners), Classic mode takes centre-stage, a sevenstage romp through increasingly tough opponents – made tougher by the fact that the Intensity system lets you wager gold for harder enemies and higher rewards. Expect team fights against giant opponents, metal versions and climactic fights againt multi-man Mii teams and the always irritating Master Hand(s).

Level Playing Field Take a tour with us through Smash Bros.’ new stages

3DLand Likethe gamethatinspired it,

GoldenPlainsSuperMarioBros. 2 continues itsgross “greed is good” reaching: grab 100 coins andthingsgo abit GameofThrones as you’re coated in gold. Unlike ol’Viserys, it makes youreallygood at punching.

Rainbow Road It’scalleda road,it’s calledaRainbowRoad,itisaroadthat gowhenyou…wanttohaveafight rudely interruptedby go-karting Shy Guys.Stopoglingcolours lestyou end up as bumper fodder.

Paper Mario Mario’s AAA/A4 series encapsulated in a single stage:you startunderStickerStar’s windmill, takeatriponaThousandYearDoor shipandgetacameofromPaper Mario’s friendlywhale.Very nice.

Spirit Train As youride Link’s dinky steamer [gross – Ed] , thecarriages uncouple andgiantbomb trains collidewith either end.And yetit’s still notatraumaticasFirstGreat Western’s Bristol toPaddington line.

DreamLand As Kirby’s dad,Sakuraiis prone togiving thepink puffer the preferentialtreatment– thisscrolling stage,setinsideagiantGameBoy,is enough toturn other rivalslime green withenvy.

UnovaPokemon League Similarto Brawl’s SpearPillar,thisseesLegendary ‘monpopupinthedistancetomess withthe fightin theforeground. It’sa pain,really, butthenwe didforcethem into terrible bloodsports.Fair cop.

Prism Tower PokemonX&Y’s TomodachiLife Somethingof a weak Lumiose Citywas allabout sightseeing. link, this seesyou battlingthroughMii Itsstageseesyoustartingatthebase apartments,whicharecoveredbya ofthetowngym,soonsoaringaround fourth wallwhenno one’s inthem. itsapex. You can’tdrop penniesfrom We’d havehopedfor surprise attacks thetop,butyoucandropopponents. – instead,we getdomesticdullness.

TortimerIsland Thissandygetaway wasalwaysAnimalCrossing’sdirty secret,aplacewherefishandbugs werehuntedwithabandon–itmakes sense thatit becomethe stage forthe Villager’sstepup inv iolence.

ArenaFerox Whatwasaflat colosseum in Fire Emblem: Awakening isashiftingstageofrising andfallingplatformshere.The Feroxi audiencemightcomplainof cowardice–justbootthemintheface.

Reset Bomb Forest The game’s most dramatic stage starts as a Hyrule Temple-like mass of stone platforms – until Kid Icarus’ Viridi drops a nature nuke and rearranges the furniture in destructive fashion. Brilliant.

Wily Castle This would be a simple platform with a rad soundtrack if it wasn’t for stage boss hazard, the Yellow Devil. He appears shortly after you begin, warping around and causingdeath-related nuisance.

Living Room You’d think the enormous dogs lolloping about would be the worry here, but in fact it’s the child’s toy block platforms that fall from the sky, crushing anyone who didn’t pay attention to the encroaching shadows.

thislookslikeaconservativeAtoB jaunt only forspikedpillarsto try and ramyouwherethespritedon’tshine. Worthit though,for theludicrously ’80ssaxsolo.

Gerudo Valley YearsonandOcarina’s bridgebuildersarestillabunchoflazy cowboys.Worse,oncethe thebridge snaps, theTwinrovaduo turnup to rainiceandfiredownonthevalley edges. Giveit rest, ehguys?

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Gaur Plain Xenoblade Chronicles’ disconnected robo-world gets an appropriately hard to traverse stage – 6 platforms jut from the level’s sides, with only an abyss in between. Time every jump as if it’s your last. It could be.


REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS Smash and Grab Target Smash is Masahiro Sakurai’s take on Angry Birds , replacing the birds with a bomb, the slingshot with angry cartoon foxes, yoga instructors or mutant humans with menial jobs and wonky, try-your-luck funfair physics with massive great explosions. Apart from the satisfaction of a structure well demolished, you also earn rewards for high scores, and some of those targets net you custom character equipment, too.

FireEmblem’sRobinhas an arrayof spells– butyoucan onlyusethemsomanytimes.

courseof playing theClassicsolo mode,brilliant Smash Runand anynumberof other setevents, you’ll earnbothequippableinventoryitems thatalterbasestats,andentirelynewspecial movesfor every characterin thegame.While somecharacters’takeson thissystem area little disappointing(seriously, Mario– bigfireball andlittle fireball? Weak), theMiis can fundamentallyaltertheirentirefightingstyle. MyBrawlereffigy, forexample, onlyuses attacksthatinitiateautomatedmini-combos. MC: Ontheotherhand,I’veputahugefocuson

Take Control A menu option confirms that the 3DS and Wii U versions will be able to trade custom characters, as well as utilise the handheld as a controller for the home console.

Twitter: @onm_uk

mySwordFighter’s strengthstats, which spawned a fighter whocan dominatealmostany othercharacterindamageterms,butwholopes aboutataroundthespeedofmossgrowingand mightaswelljustsurrenderifapunchgets through.I alsolike howrarer equipmenthave bonusabilities–IhealwhenIKOarival,my shield explodeswhen it’s perfectly timedand snackinginbattlemakesmeinvincibleforfive seconds,muchlikein real life.It makes senseto bancustomisationsfrom ranked ‘ForGlory’ onlineplay,butamongstfriendsitaddsafun senseof trainingan unstoppablesod inthe privacyofyourownportableandthen unleashingit on other saps. Andtheactualactofcollectingequipment –youearnitinClassic,AllStarandSmashRun –addsa Diablo-esquelootingelementthatfar extendsthe replayabilityofmodes fundamentally designed forten minute blastsof fun.Classic, nowplayed across a branchingmap leadingto the Master Hand, evennabsKid Icarus:Uprising’s intensity system:buying intostiffer challenges rewardsyousnazzierequipment drops, but losingatanystageseestastierswagvanish.Of course, donning spoils fromlowert ieredruns in turnsoftens higher levels, allowingeventhe mostsluggishoffingerstocreepuptheranks. JS: There’s a sense that theentiregame issome

kindofgentlypulsatingecosystem–earning

rewards in one mode helps complete others, but certain areas fill certain niches. Finishing a Classic run earns you your chosen character’s trophy – but finishing All-Star mode (for more on that, see boxout) with the same character earns you an alternately costumed reward. And that’s not to mention the always-obtuse unlocks – you can be happily playing regular Smash battles for some time and suddenly have Dr. Mario invade your game to offer a prescription of unexpected tension as you cross some kind of invisible statistical threshold. And then there’s Smash Run, the mode Sakurai just couldn’t let go. Drawn explicitly from forgotten multiplayer wonder, Kirby’s Air Ride, it places you in one gigantic warren of enemies and asks you to fight your way around for several minutes, each kill, secret area or treasure chest offering you regular unlocks and crucial stat boosts (attack, defence, special, speed, jump and arms – your proficiency with items). After that time is up, you’re transported to either a single Smash battle or a violent race against three other competitors from the warren. It’s not just an excellent mode – it’s yet another showcase for Sakurai’s obsession with all things Nintendo.

“Some character takesare a little disappointing. The Mii altersits fighting style”

MC: It took me a while to click with Smash Run.

Partly because I was trying to get my head around the concept of Captain Olimar kicking the face off a Kremling, and partly because it’ll chew you up and spit you out if you aren’t prepared. It’s all about picking battles and building momentum, using stat-boosts received in play to tackle the larger enemies. Finally, taking down a stat-stuffed biggun and seeing yourcredentials zip up by hundreds of points is liberating – you really feel the punches getting meaner or the legs jumpier. Sakurai basically crushes the character progression of an RPG into

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REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS

Power-full We talk a lot about Smash Run below, but there’s one extra unique feature Sakurai’s new mode introduces. You don’t go into a Run without help – look down at your touchscreen and you’ll find a range of one-off powers. Each character can be equipped differently (for instance, you’ll want to give Little Mac some Strong Punch power-ups), and you can find more in mystery sacks as you head off on your violent travels.

Photo mode – helping spawn unsettling fan fiction since1999.

Boss hazards give Sakurai more scope to indulge his nerdy fantasies. Megam an’s Yellow Devil and StreetPass Quest’s Dark Emperor add some evil spice to proceedings.

Years of overfishing in AnimalCrossing has caused terrible results.

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REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

SUPER SMASH BROS. FOR 3DS Trophy Life You could use your hard-earned gold to buy trophies from the in-game shop. Or, as Sakurai would clearly prefer you to do, you could just have fun with it, literally pouring it into Trophy Rush mode and buying precious seconds to punch various crates, blocks and explosives in a bid to make it rain trophies as you hit a combo Frenzy. Think of it as a training mode for your character’s moves, but with the benefit of shiny rewards.

Excise Franchise The Namco, Sega, Nintendo and Capcom characters who didn’t make the cut

Ceaseless Discharge ThisDark Souls boss is made of fire, covered in sores and guards his sister’s corpse. Also, he doesn’t have arms, so his moves would have been a nightmare to work out.

Ecco the Dolphin Call us prudes, but in a post-Blackfish world, it might have been a tad un-PC to include a peace-loving cetacean getting beaten to death by Japanese cartoons.

five minutes; it’s fantastic. Suddenly, you remember: there are three others with pockets equally crammed with advantages. There’s a huge variety of finales, all laughably deranged, as everyone tries to fit a square-peg hero into a round-hole test. Did you focus on attacking only to find yourself in a race? Best punch pursuers to the back. Stuck in a fight with nothing but springing legs? At least you can annoy your enemies before they thwack you into the stratosphere. Worth something right? JS: Our only complaint is that these match

Panel Show The Challenges menu offers you 35 picture panels, each unlocked by meeting a certain parameter. And once that’s done, you’ll find there’s even more to do...

Twitter: @onm_uk

varieties are limited to Smash Run – five minutes is a long time for a 30 -second decider. But in a way, that speaks to the game as a whole. The 3DS version is perfect for solo play, and the wealth of options proves that – but everything you earn and learn in the course of those lonely stretches can be put into action when you do get the chance to play with others. Smash Mode, All-Star Mode, Multi-Man Mode and Smash Run can all be undertaken with those around you at a moment’s notice – the 3DS’ local wireless connection is as robust as ever. But it’s in playing with strangers where the fourth instalment truly shines. Smash matches can be played For Fun (with all the stages, random items and generalised chaos you expect) or For Glory (ranked rumbles across standardised, itemless stages), and where Brawl chugged and crashed, this glides along as though you’re still playing alone. In our time with the game, we’ve had but one lagging opponent, and the game’s been astoundingly responsive. More seasoned fighting game experts will doubtless find something to dislike on an in-depth level, but to our more casual eyes, this is as perfect an online fighting experience as we’ve come across on a Nintendo console, particularly in a game as frequently action-saturated as this.

Ken Griffey Jr. The SNES brought us Mario, Samus, Starfox – perennial stars of Smash Bros. But where is this MLB star, responsible for 1.2 million games? When will Ken get his day?

Nemesis The cover star of Resident Evil 3 was a toothy, genetically engineered beast who’d chase you mercilessly throughout his game. And that role’s already filled by Bowser.

MC: It almost feels as though Sakurai’s cheating,

somehow. Just squeezing this all in, and getting it to run as well as it does is a towering achievement as it is. JS: If you’d told Melee-era Joe that he’d be able

to play this game on the toilet one day he, ironically, would probably have needed to get to the toilet sharpish.

“The 3DS version is perfect for solo play and the wealth of options prove that”

MC: That is gross. JS: I think you mean ‘scientific’. MC: It’s worth pointing out

that you can feel the strain the game puts on your console – the battery runs down quick-sharp, and exiting to the Home Menu takes an age. Not to mention Miiverse screenshotting isn’t even possible until the chunkier New 3DS comes out. JS: But that’s almost the point, isn’t it? Sakurai

and his team have put so much in here, and got it running so smoothly that it can be the only thing your console does while it’s on. It’s demanding in the best possible way. I love it. MC: Me too. Another round, perhaps? JS: Absolutely.

Verdict Beautifully, bafflingly smoothin action. Hordesofmodes,characters,stagesandcollectibles. Customisation addsa senseof individuality. Not just a technological achievement,but a design one.There’s never beena Smash Bros. with more to seeor do.How they’vedone it isanyone’s guess.

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REVIEW Wii U

STEALTH INC. 2

STEALTH INC. 2: A GAME OF CLONES Look, we can’t beat that pun. Just read about the thing already Key details Format Wii U eShop Publisher Curve Digital Developer Curve Studios Multiplayer 1-2 Out October

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escape. The Inflate-a- Mate instantly blows up into a furry column, letting you climb to inaccessible areas, crush enemies or give you a rocket-jump like boost; the Jackboy lets you hack into your robotic adversaries, forcing them to activate switches, destroy barriers or just get out of your way; the Adventure Light changes the make up of those base level ideas, shifting shadows and powering solar-panel switches. Each item is meticulously designed, and built for such a variety of ways that they could make up the entirety of other games – in fact, they sort of do. The aforementioned Me Too creates clones which mimic all your actions, precisely like The Swapper (whose developers might well be a little annoyed they haven’t got it out on Wii U faster now), while the tw in Teleporters would remind us enough of Portal even if they weren’t colour-coded orange and blue.

tealth Inc. loves puns as much as magazine writers do, when we’re struggling to fill straplines or captions (and our empty lives). From that subtitle, to the game’s many puzzle box Test Chambers (key examples: “A Clone in the Dark” in a level about the dark, “Elevated Senses” in a level about elevators, “Jackman” in the level where you grow huge sideburns – joking), even its items indulge in some low-hanging wordplay as you sling around clones of your clone using the Me Too device. Rather than our borderline-maniacal need for the sweet sustenance of other people’s chuckles however, Curve’s puns speak to a game content to have fun with you, as quick to make you laugh as shriek at yet another grotesque death (such as when your bigheaded hero’s heart skitters away, still pumping, after he’s burst by thick lasers).

CLONE DANGER

Box of Treats Not only does the game do a good line in tricksy puzzle rooms, it gives you the chance to make your own and share them, with an extremely in-depth level editor. But us? We just made a horrible little box full of blood.

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A set up: the first Stealth Inc. was a mindbendingly tough 2D stealth-puzzle game, built upon the idea that if you’re spotted, you’re killed. There’s no escape, except by performing as you need to. It played with light and shadow to great effect, your light-sensitive, colour-coded goggles giving you all the data you needed to avoid detection, even if your stumbling fingers couldn’t respond quickly enough. It was tough, profane (with an altogether fruitier title originally) and laser-precise in a way many AAA platformers struggle to be. All of that good work returns for the sequel – but it’s now the merest piece of a far more intricate construction, a pizza base covered in steaming mechanical toppings. Where the original was set entirely in Test Chambers, A Game of Clones widens the focus, setting you within the facility those Chambers are built in, a slowly unlocked set of robot-patrolled passages and wide-open rooms, built to be pored over for secrets (your clone can find and equip a set of bizarre hats and costumes – we preferred “The Strawberry”) and means of escape. A particularly stringent focus on difficulty might put some of f, and the blocky, jet-black chunks that make up most of the interactive scenery mark the game as a pretty tightly budgeted proposition – but the core game here is almost unique on Wii U. The hook is that you still need to visit those Test Chambers along the way, 40 of them mandatory, with 10 more secreted behind their own mini-obstacle courses. The story goes that your clone’s death is the key to a chattering, jobsworth scientist’s employee of the month award (think Monsters Inc., with more viscera), and your only way out is taking part in his dangerous trials of high-tech Happy Meal gifts. Those very products become your means of

STEALTH LINK Crucially, each area of the facility overworld has eight main Chambers, a training ground and challenge sequence for a single item, after which you can use it to unlock the next sect ion. It could come off like a Metroidvania, but it’s closer to the structure of classic Zelda – Test Chambers are your dungeons, here exploded into their component challenges, while the facility is your Hyrule Field, a space for items to be used more experimentally to get to where and what you want. And, like Zelda, you feel like a hero when you get it r ight. You’re graded on every Test Chamber (with scores added to leaderboards), A-grades requiring a mixture of skill, knowledge and, most of all, sickening speed. Only by learning the ins and outs of your growing toolbelt will you get through it all, never mind in style. But there’s a wide-eyed innocence about the whole thing – a pleasure taken in having you learn, then challenging you all the more – that turns what could be try-again rage to a sort of grinning determination. Even outside of its puns, Stealth Inc. 2 is all about play. Joe Skrebels

“It could come off as Metroidvania, but it’s closer to the structure of classic Zelda”

Chat to us about this review… @ONM_UK

Verdict A brilliant extension to a neatconcept Some ofthe best item ideasoutside ofZelda Funny, prettyand utterly likeable It’stough to balance clever, accessible and hardas diamond nails,but StealthInc. 2 doesit–witha fantastic genretwist and buckets of charmto boot.

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REVIEW Wii U

STEALTH INC. 2

The Lowdown It’s one clone against the world in this brilliant extension of the pun-lov ing Stealth Inc, as the world’s dullest mad scientist pits the entirety of his facility against the bigheaded string of DNA he helped create.

Co-op Play? Yes

Sneaky? Indubitably

Blood? Blooooood

No assembly required – Four methods of escape that don’t require unlocked items

Steam If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s water. The stuff keeps you alive, cleans you and, in this case, its superheated variant blocks robotic vision cones. We love you, water.

Explosions The game’s metallic henchmen aren’t put off by noise, so sudden combustion won’t faze them – unless they get crushed by one of the many neutron star-heavy items.

Living Crates Not only do these pleasant, sedentary gents sit on switches and crush baddies for you, but hum contentedly when you’re nearby, and sigh when you walk away.

Crouching Proven by it being given its very own face button, the humble crouch has a little extra gravitas here. Duck, crawl and sink into shadows, just by hunching over like a creep.

Failing to keep a low profile invites the direst of consequences

The story’s told in tiny cartoon cutscenes between each main area.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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REVIEW Wii U

TESLAGRAD

TESLAGRAD The game that asks the eternal question: “How do magnets work?”

Secrets are learned through background clues and animatronic puppet shows.

We’ll never get to make this joke again, so here goes: whyis Matthew’s bedroom in the game?

Key details Format Wii U eShop Publisher Rain Games Developer Rain Games Multiplayer No Out Now

Ch-ch-chcharges In Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige , Nikola Tesla, played by David Bowie for no reason at all, invents a “magic trick” (no spoilers) for Hugh Jackman. Here, he invents special boots and chucks them in room full of shadowbeasts. Basically, the guy’s weird. Twitter: @onm_uk

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ikola Tesla was a single-minded chap. “I admired the works of artists,” he once wrote, “but to my mind, they were only shadows and semblances. The inventor, I thought, gives to the world creations which are palpable, which live and work.” He was the sort of man, we’re assuming, who would doodle ruler-drawn pencil diagrams of power plugs in his school exercise book margins, rather than the crap stickmen in kung fu poses we were pretty fond of. Strange, then, that thisMetroid-indebted proposition invents so little and puts quite so much emphasis on the art. That’s not without good reason, perhaps – it looks wonderful. Rain Games’ mix of expressive anime and stark Soviet propaganda posters lend this increasingly tired genre a needed freshness. Your wordless boy hero – on the run through an abandoned tower complex from rapacious foreign forces (mostly represented, weirdly, by one angry, bearded man) – is always a joy to look at, gliding across the screen with car toon grace, his oversized features flickering as situations change around him. Those situations come in the form, primar ily, of single-room puzzles, each based around the principles of electromagnetism. Positive and negative charges are represented by blue and red glows – polarised objects pull toward one another, while similarly-charged bits of environment fly apart like startled herons.

“Metal, critters and whole bosses can be charged to clear paths and toss you around”

Chat to us about this review… @onm_uk

HE’S ELECTRIC It’s a limited palette, as far as puzzle mechanics go, but Rain’s thinking has gone into how to apply it to as many different elements of those rooms as possible. Slabs of metal, scuttling mechanical critters, your own character, and whole bosses can be charged and switched to clear paths and propel you around. Barring bosses, there are almost no enemies – what with all the electricity around, a bad choice of movement is often far more dangerous than any nondescript toddling mushroom beast.

It’s a system aided by some more traditional gear gating. As you travel up the tower – aided by a magnificent column of positively charged energy in the dead centre – your tiny protagonist discovers discarded experiments, convenient electropunk wearables that give him a phasing dash, or the ability to charge himself and others. There’s little truly new here – in fact, it ’s almost as though Tesla’s artistic shadows and semblances are the thing that make the core of the game what it is: a warped impression of a Metroid game. Unfortunately, that focus on art also provides Teslagrad’s biggest problem. Those animations look lovely, but they make the game, built around precision, feel a bit wonky. The lag between a jump button press and the animation resolving (while tiny), is enough to throw off much-needed timing. The long, loping leap often makes the real challenge guessing where you’ll land, as opposed to the landing itself. Worst of all, for a game that makes physics its be-all-and-end-all, the physics engine itself is all over the place – imperceptible changes in positioning landing you in deep(fried) trouble on many occasions. That lack of more scientific execution in favour of artistic presentation is what lets it down. With a touch more Tesla, this could have been... electric. [Editor silently approaches with car battery clamps.] Joe Skrebels

Verdict A fascinatingtakeon puzzle-platformpowers Beautifullyillustrated, masterfully animated Lack of precision causes too many hiccups Thoughtful, pretty and just strange enough, this is an excellent take on a well-established genre, hampered justa little too often by prosaic, mechanical missteps.

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REVIEW Wii U

BAYONETTA 2

BAYONETTA 2 An uppercut above, and one of Wii U’s finest exclusives Keydetails Format WiiU Publisher Nintendo Developer Platinum Games Multiplayer 1-2 Out 24 October

Got the Touch Playing the game in Very Easy Mode, you tap the touchscreen to create a combo, and swipe to dodge. It’s a great way to master evasion before moving onto the giddy thrills of button control.

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stheworldof Bayonettasleazy,stupidand skin-deep, or a complex, bombastic parody? The question hasdoggedus throughout our timewiththe sequel, raising itsthorny head wheneverwe do somethingmore thanusually ludicrous, likekarate-choppingimps togiblets whilestandingonthecockpitofafighterjet. Viewedoneway,thetitularwitchiseveryicky adolescent fantasy writ large: a compositeof MissMoneypennyand Jessica Rabbit, who’s as likelytodothesplitsonthecameraaschirrupan agonisingone-liner duringa cutscene. Andyet, Bayonettaisn’tjustaTombRaider -stylecentrefold. Herattacksandabilities–whetheritbe gyratingarounda pole tocreatea Catherine wheelof sorcery,or pistol-whipping a centaur’s bumso that itclobbersnearbyallies – aresavage send-upsofseediness.Shemightbeasexobject, butshewieldshersex appeallike a magnum revolvertricked outw ithbeads andsequins,held to theplayer’stemple.Similarlypseudointellectual things couldbe saidabout the line-upof heavenlyand, nowadays,hellish opponents.True,most ofthemlooklikea mixtureof curry andplasterof Paris,thrown into a tubof Christmasdecorationsand fireaxes,but then,sodomanyofthebeastiesintheBookof Revelations. Is therean element of,dare we say, scriptural commentaryat workhere?It certainly pongsalittleofreligioussatirewhenthe in-gamepersonificationof Slothturnsoutto be an unpleasantlynippy samurai warrior. Still,it’sunwisetolingeroversuchprofundities, because you’ll almostcertainlyget yourhead kicked in whileyou’re scratchingyourchin. Platinum’s second Bayonettaiseverybitasfast andfrenziedastheoriginal(aremasteredversion ofwhichisbundledwiththeSpecialandFirstPrint editions of the sequel).Indeed, inmanyrespects thisisthesamegame.Thestaplemechanicis onceagainWitchTime,aperiodofslow-mo that’sawardedwhenyounailadodge.It’satrick you’ll master, thenmodify totaste:acquirethe right items,andyou canarrangefor WitchTime toengagewhenyouperformadamagecancel, ortradethe slow-moforan automatic counterattack whena blowmissesits mark. Thenewgametakesthesamelethalyet lenient approachto combos, wherebyevery move canbe chained toprettymucheveryother withoutinterrupting the flow, so thatflurries of jabs,swipes andfireballsspill out effortlessly fromunderyourthumbslikebeesfromahive. Thecampaigndancesto much thesamebeat, too– levelsarea seriesof combatarenasbroken up by platform-puzzles, suchas hunting down thepiecesofaspectraltreasurechest,orusing WitchTime tospringboard across plumes of solidifiedwater. Optional challenge rooms with

oddball victory criteria return, as does the Gates of Hell salon, where you’ll acquire new weapons, techniques, items, outfits and accessories from Rodin, a sniggering slaphead and, as it turns out, deeply unconvincing Santa. So what does Bayonetta 2 do differently? Well, initially it’s a question of excess. The or iginal has a bit where you summon a demon crow the size of a yacht to peck an Oriental dragon to death – a sequence that ends with the crow gleefully chow ing down the snake’shead. The sequel knocks all of that into a cocked hat. There’s a boss fight, for example, where you plummet down the inside of a tower that’s as high as a mountain, pursued by a juggernaut whose pompous marble visage is grafted to the hiltof its over-compensatory sword. Bayonetta administers the coup de grace in the depths of a lagoon, far below – her supernaturally sheddable bodysuit is once again your ticket to a variety of Climax finishers, whereby hell-fiends are conjured to participate in a thermonuclear QTE. Immediately after disposing of the juggernaut, you’re swept into a brawl with a diabolical hybrid of stingray and B-52 bomber, which unfolds on top of a floating stone sarcophagus. You know, just like inThe Hunt For Red October . At times, the game is almost careless about its capacity for spectacle, cramming enormous dust-offs into the background as you pirouette across centre stage. The pick of the bunch, a surgical duel against a Lumen Sage, takes place in the digestive tract of the aforesaid stingray creature. Glance up from the shimmer of swordplay, and you might notice a gigantic Geisha girl erupting from a swirl of blood to bodyslam a missile launcher. Considerately, enemy attacks are still telegraphed by a jingle, so it’s possible to escape harm even if you can’t actually see Bayonetta for shockwaves. The framerate doesn’t suffer too much, either, though it does occasionally tumble from a greased-lightning 60 to a solid-enough 30 frames a second during busier encounters. What does suffer is the pacing. Sensibly, Platinum has stripped out some of the original’s smellier minigames and puzzles, such as the funfair duck-shooting that used to fill time between missions. It has also trimmed down the platforming sequences, which means that the manual camera’s unwieldiness is less of a bother. The trouble is that Platinum hasn’t put enough back into the game to reset the gauges between crescendos. Certain of the campaign’s16 chapters (which should last you 5-10 hours on normal difficulty) consist of a single, spectacular encounter – a teeth-rattling haymaker that might have been preceded by a few preparatory shots to the body.

“At times, the game isalmost careless about itscapacity for spectacle”


REVIEW Wii U

BAYONETTA 2

The Lowdown Another third-person hack ‘n’ slasher from PlatinumGames starring a trigger-happy witch, who must rescue her chum from the depths of hell. Adds co-op multiplayer, new weapons and, somehow, even bigger boss battles.

Twitter: @onm_uk

Story Length? 10 hours

Controls? Pro Controller compatible

Multiplayer? Online

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REVIEW Wii U BAYONETTA 2

Kamiya on Camping If you’re feeling brave, you can always follow Bayonetta creator Hideki Kamiya on Twitter: @PG_kamiya. He’s always got time for fans, especially fans that are “cute babes”, though as Kamiya pithily explains, “I’m not professional of being gentle to idiots.” If you’re an idiot, please calibrate your expectations appropriately. Also, you may want to “ask your mom”. Or maybe not.

This reminds Joe of when he used to go to church. Explains a lot, really.

Even the mano-a-witcho fights have been embiggened for the sequel – those demons mirror the flow of battle, even interrupting as they crash across the fighting arena.

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REVIEW Wii U

BAYONETTA 2 Vintage Wardrobe Nintendo is the reasonBayonetta 2 exists – Uncle Mario backed it in return for exclusivity. To say an extra special thank you, Platinum Games has put together a library of unlockable costumes based on a number of classic Nintendo series. They come with some nifty HUD effects: don the uniform of aStar Fox character, for instance, and you’ll pilot an Ar wing during the flight levels.

Bayonetta2 Four startingtips

ShopSmart Buy theaccessories that letyoucanceldamageorparryattacks earlyon. Evenif youlackthedexterity topullthesetricksoff,youmaytrigger thembyaccident.

Special Sage The Lumen Sage is by far Bayonetta’s most entertaining opponent, the owner of a menagerie of heavenly terrors that compares to her line-up of Satanic summons. Fortunately, he’s as vulnerable to Witch Time as other foes. That flash mask won’t stop a kick to the face, mate.

Twitter: @onm_uk

ComeBack SaveUmbranClimax for whenyou’rehurting. It replenishes yourhealth a little, and allows you to interruptall enemy attacks. Handy against centaur knights, that.

Thereare,in fairness, still theon-railsflight sequences,whichcalltomind KidIcarusandStar Foxinhowtheyobligeyoutoziparounda 2D plane,rebuffingthe advancesof somebloated show-boater ofa boss. There’s alsoa mech level, whichiseffectivelyanormallevelonagrander scalewith slower kicks andpunches. Ohyes,and thecutscenes.Fansof the firstgame’sham-fisted quipswillfindplentymoretochewonhere:it’s asifeverycharacteris secretly auditioningforthe part ofJames Bond.Well, except forBayonetta’s sidekick Enzo, a waddlingItalian who sounds like he’sonloanfromtheGoodfellas sequel Martin Scorseserefusedtomake.Andthevillainofthe piece,adaftbluediamondwhomumbles. It’s temptingto callBayonetta’s newUmbran Climax moves anotherinstanceof spectacle for itsownsake.In practice,adding “Wicked Weave”summons toyour attacksis all about containing themadness,not amplifying it. You’ll usethistricktoshoveenemiesbackasagroup, overridingthetwistsand turnsof theirattack patternsby dintof paranormallyinfused button-mashing.It doesn’t, forus, expandon thealready-masterfulcombatin anymeaningful way, though thevisual payouts areundeniable – it’sa prolongedtag combo, effectively,with theentire populationof Pandemoniumon call. The weaponsaren’t quiteas grandof concept, butaswiththereturningpistols,eachnewtoy sitsatopavastandknottycombotree.Simply retimingyourinputsbyafractionisenoughto changehoweachweaponhandles.Thewhip canbe flicked back andforthtoclearroom, for example,oryoucanuseittosnareenemies, dragthemintoajuggleorbouncethemoffthe floor. The bow’shornetprojectilesmakeshort work ofelusivemages andfliers. For best results, wearthose elementalclubs on yourfeet: clampingdownthe button mid-combo causes Bayonettatoflipontoherhead,cloudsofice foamingfrom her toes.

ShootFirst Don’tforgetyourpistols. Theydon’t inflictmuch damage, but they help youbuild upa combo,which meansa bigger battlereward. Use themtowhittlebossesdown.

Run Wild Bayonetta can transform into a speedy panther with tugs of the trigger. Employ this trick to slip behind skirmishers and take out wizards or gunners.

It’s advisable to master the weapons before jumping into online co-op. Bouts consist of six matches drawn from a deck of campaign battles, allowing you to suck them dry of halos while competing for score. There’s no direct head-tohead offering, but you can bet halos on the outcome of a match. We haven’t had the opportunity to test the multiplayer much, thanks to a shortage of opponents, but battles against the AI offer decent, if fleeting entertainment. The internet-averse may prefer to replay the campaign at higher difficulties in search of the coveted Platinum mission trophies, unlocking new characters in the process. There are also post-story Witch Trials – wavebased survival affairs in which you’re permitted a grand total of one healing item per round. Bayonetta 2’s biggest problem is a really boring problem to have: it’s the sequel to one of the greatest action games ever. That’s an unenviable act to follow, and with creator Hideki Kamiya watching from a distance, it’s no huge surprise that the developers have played things safe in terms of everything save the presentation. Still, the results can’t be topped this side of the generation jump. If you’re looking for the year’s best action game, this is it. Edwin Evans-Thirlwell

“On-railsflight sequences callto mindKid Icarus and StarFox in theirexecution”

Verdict Elaborate, intuitive combat, tunedand expanded An incredibletechnical achievement Quitea conservative sequel, newtricks aside Notquite thelandmarkthe originalgame was, but athrillinglyabsurd,deepandbeautifulbrawler. Soul-bursting sorcery for devoteesof the combo.

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REVIEW Wii U

BAYONETTA

BAYONETTA Platinum’s greatest creation casts her spell over Wii U Key details Format Wii U Publisher Nintendo Developer Platinum Games Multiplayer No Out 24 October

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ost action game protagonists open the path to the next area by pushing a button or, if they want to really make waves, shooting it. Bayonetta blows kisses at angelic forcefields, causing them to evaporate with a scandalised crackle. It’s a sweet, succinct demonstration of the weaponsgrade irreverence that roars through the veins of Platinum’s 2010 masterwork, which has finally made its way to a Nintendo platform. Perhaps you’d prefer to read about something showier? OK, how’s this for slamming a period on the end of a fight: when Bayonetta really wants something to die, she strikes a pose that causes her already-skimpy outfit to liquefy, flow through a dimensional portal and emerge as a demon composed of angry hair. Players then bounce on the face buttons or wiggle an analog stick lustily while the hirsute fiend bites, stabs or batters the unlucky target to a drizzle of golden rings and Pedigree Chum. It’s an order of excess beyond even Hideki Kamiya’s other works, which include the demented Viewtiful Joe and Devil May Cry , glowering posterboy for the Japanese action game as we currently understand it. Those are fine efforts, but in hindsight, they feel like warm-ups for the main event.

IT’S WITCH TIME

Jeanne Genie Bosses reach spectacular sizes, but for our money it’s a series of escalating fights with rival witch, Jeanne, that well and truly WOW. Riding motorbikes atop a crashing plane? Oh yes.

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Here’s a crudely abbreviated plot summary: Bayonetta is a witch who dresses like Catwoman might after guzzling the contents of a medicine cabinet; the forces of Heaven are out to get her, assisted by a mysterious lady in red; and for some reason, she’s friends with a fur-wearing Danny DeVito. Also, Bayonetta is proportioned like a stack of hoover attachments and wears handcannons on her feet. Bewildered? Don’t worry, the gist is that everything needs to expire in the campest, most colourful way possible. The game’s big trick – and the reason it’s a surprisingly good choice for a complete newbie to the genre – is Witch Time, a period of global slow-motion that triggers when you dodge an attack by inches, providing you have the skills. Bayonetta moves at normal speed throughout, which means that you can roundhouse projectiles back-to-sender and test some of the more spectacular combos without interruption. It’s a tactic that remains useful from start to finish, as you level up from scraps with cherubic trumpet-blowers to boss battles that feature god-sent abominations like Fortitudo, a colossal stone head with taloned feet where its ears should be and a neckbeard of dragons. Witch Time is also switched on automatically during some of the game’s more extravagant platforming sequences, as our heroine ricochets between hunks of flying scenery (the

levels are quite pretty, like Gears of War on a sunny day, but the architecture certainly doesn’t outstay its welcome).

ENTER THE GATES OF HELL If Witch Time ensures that even a layman can whoop a respectable amount of celestial derriere, a sense of perfectionism soon kicks in. Checkpoints are generous and health pick-ups can be bought or brewed using ingredients on the map, but taking the slightest buffet eats into your level winnings dramatically. It’s not advisable to rely on one approach, either, as the scoring system reserves the juiciest payouts for imaginative brawlers. The variety of moves and combos on offer is preposterous (in a good way), even b efore you acquire new weapons by way of the Gates of Hell salon, and the game is very laid back about how players mix and match the moves available. A flurry of katana swipes might segue into a chin-eviscerating high kick, for example, with a spiralling mid-air shotgun barrage dolloped on top for good measure, care of a loadout hotswitch on right trigger and melee attacks that escalate in flamboyance when you clamp down the button. Aside from Witch Time, magic points are spent on Torture Attacks, which conjure up a selection of Hellraiser props and invite you to ramp up the punishment (and ring reward) by pounding buttons. Stretch to the final showdown, and you should feel like you’ve got your money’s worth. But wait, there’s more. Additional playthroughs at higher difficulty settings are required to get the better of moves like Dodge Offset, which allows evasive manoeuvres to form part of a combo, alternative versions of existing weapons and pricey accessories that introduce gamechanging techniques, such as a parry. The touchscreen controls are impressive but no substitute for proper buttons. Still, don’t let that tiny reservation come between you and what’s easily the action game of the decade. Edwin Evans-Thirlwell

“The variety of moves and combos on offer is preposterous in a good way”

Chat to us about this review… @onm_uk

Verdict Glorious combosystem; oodlesof weapons WitchTime helpsnewbieswithout annoyingpros Superblystupid art direction and tone Oneof thefinestactiongames ever, spruced upin small butworthwhile waysfor WiiU. A fabulous addition tothe Bayonetta 2 package.

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REVIEW Wii U

BAYONETTA

The Lowdown A spiritual successor to the PS2’sDevil May Cry , from the developer of The Wonderful 101. It stars a witch who uses guns, blades and her own hair to beat up angels. Trust us, they have it coming.

Game Length 12 hours

GameStyle Third-person action

Demon Dog Made Of Hair? Yes

We prefer these bipedal standard-issue angels to the centaur variety of 2.

Jeez. The sheer recoil here is a recipe for a case of ankle arthritis if ever we saw one.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS

DISNEY MAGICAL WORLD

DISNEY MAGICAL WORLD Sometimes, pixie dust isn’t quite enough to make things fly

Flashdance it ain’t, but at least there are lots of particleeffects.

Key details Format 3DS Publisher Nintendo Developer BandaiNamco/h.a.n.d. Multiplayer No Out 24 October

Name Dropping Creepy sorcerer Yen Sid, fromFantasia, can be found up in his tower. Why not try reading his namebackwards...

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he incredible depth of the Disney toybox means that everything Mickey’s gloved hand touches turns to commercial gold. So it’s odd that this Animal Crossing -alike game falls short of the mark. Taking place in an imaginary town, Castleton, the game begins in the central hub comprising a few shops, a scattering of Disney characters and a café, which become accessible as you unlock achievements – catch a fish; change outfit; perform deeds for Goofy; and so on. It’s a decent introduction to the ideas and mechanics of the game, and the progress is just enough that there’s always something new to discover. Later on, new areas become unlocked, and this is where the game really begins – Cinderella’s small town, Aladdin’s Agrabah or the 100 Acre Wood, each with themed items and, of course, the characters you’d expect to find. For the first few hours, this all seems quite sweet, like the feeling of walking into a Disney store and hugging all the soft toys. But just like being in the Disney store, it’s not long before it all starts to feel a little bit commercial. It’s probably not too much of a valid criticism to say that the characters are irritating, seeing as a multi-billion dollar company was built on the back of those high-pitched “Oh boy!”s. But by the same token, these well-known and well-loved characters seem so bland and under-stuffed that the only thing propping up their cardboard personalities is several decades of character-building elsewhere.

DONALD YUCK This is undeniably a game for young children, and it’s not hard to see where the appeal lies: well-known and beloved characters welcome your character as a friend, and are always there waiting to chat to you. Even our cold, c ynical hearts were warmed by being able to converse with our grumpy childhood favourite, Eeyore. It may be condescendingly simple when it comes to the minigames, one of which is a

disappointing free-to-play standard - the “wait 25 minutes and come back” tactic designed to teach kids patience or something – but perhaps this is just a way to make the heart of the game shine through. Because, at its core, this game is a pleasant idea: fusing the fun of Animal Crossing with the joy of interacting with Disney characters. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t quite have the depth that Animal Crossing or any number of ‘whimulators’ manage. Characters are rooted to the spot and offer scant few lines of dialogue, often just by shouting the first line at you as you walk past like the subject line of a spam email. There’s no real barrier to success other than deliberately gated areas which require objectives to be completed one-by-one before they open; the minigames are difficult to fail and not particularly interesting and there’s something that makes us feel vaguely confused about the fishing game requiring you to throw the fish back. Over all of this is a sickly-sweet layer of twee: it’s not a cup of tea, it’s a ‘Hot Mug o’ Smiles’. Really. We did want to like this game. We love this genre; we love Disney. But we couldn’t shake the feeling that we were being constantly marketed to by a stream of half-arsed puppets, and that they weren’t even doing that great a job of it. Kate Gray

“Like being in the Disney store, it’s not long before it all starts to feel a bit commercial”

Chat to us about this review… @KateONM

Verdict Familiarcharactersareajoytosee Lacksthe naturalcharm ofDisney Feels superficial and shallow It’s a shame that this game comes across more dismal than Disney. That said, it’s still worth a few hours of uncynical fun.

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REVIEW NINTENDO 3DS COMIC WORKSHOP

COMIC WORKSHOP Five pictures tell around a single page count worth of words Key details Format 3DS eShop Publisher Collavier Corporation Developer Collavier Corporation Multiplayer None Out Now

Grin and Bear-Fish it The app features a fair few stamps, letting you approximate comic onomatopoeia, bubble writing and other such staples of the medium. Our favourite, however, is the totally unexplained appearance of this half-bear, half-fish thing wearing a beret and holding a paintbrush.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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REVIEWS ROUNDUP MEGA MAN EXTREME /

MEGA MAN EXTREME 2 / ZEN PINBALL 2: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY TABLE

REVIEWS ROUND ZEN PINBALL 2:

MEGA MAN XTREME

MEGA MAN XTREME 2

Is this game Xtremely good? Uh, no, saving the universe feels rather dull.

Was this joke Xtremely funny the first time? Uh, no.

Key details

A

fterthesheerjoyof blasting Pikachuto smithereensas MegaManinhisSmash Bros.debut,wehadhigh hopesforthisGameBoy Colour outing. Sadly, Xtrememanagesto make afuturisticrobot’squest tosavetheuniverseutterlyboring. Whileeachworldhasadistinctvibe,there’s nothingyouhaven’tseenamilliontimes, especiallyifyou’veplayedthemuchsuperior MegamanXgames.Theplatformingiswholly vanilla,alifelessimitationofitsbigscreen counterparts–everylevelfeelslikeanarbitrary stringofenemiesandplatformsleadinguptoa bossfight. Takingonsaidbossesisthegame’smain challenge(read: artificial lengthening), mainly becausethey allhave annoyinglypowerful attacks,andunnecessarilylengthyhealthbars.If itweren’tfortheintroductionofrestorepoints –meaningyoudon’thavetotrekthroughthe wholeleveleverytimeyou’redefeated–our3DS might’veendedupinpieces. Tyingitalltogetherissomeappallinglybad dialogue(it’snoteven classicso-bad-it’s-good game writing) anda nonsensicalplotabout computernetworks,orsomething.Thisrobot needsaself-destructbutton…

Key details

AlexJones

Alex Jones

Format 3DS VC Publisher Capcom Developer Capcom Multiplayer No Out Now

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY TABLE

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f you’ve read our verdict on the first Xtreme game, then you’ve probably got a good idea of what to expect here. All the hallmarks of the first game are here – horribly expositional dialogue, unexceptional sidescrolling action, and a plot that makes less sense than the Kardashians’ continued popularity. [Zing! – Pop Culture Ed]. To be fair to Xtreme 2, it does offer a few improvements on its predecessor. For a start it allows you to play as either X (the hero of Xtreme), or Zero, who has a sword attack in place of X’s blaster. It’s not a huge change, but it adds some variety to an otherwise quite stale game. It’s also a little smoother in terms of difficulty. The challenge of the original game remains, but it’s less artificial. The actual gameplay is largely unchanged, and while it’s nothing revolutionary, the stages feel slightly more imaginative than before. There are still a few irr itating moments where you’re required to blindly jump off platforms though. Luckily, they’re few and far between. Ultimately, our problem with the first game holds here – oodles of better Mega Man games exist – but as a game in its own r ight, this one’s at least not terrible. Format 3DS VC Publisher Capcom Developer Capcom Multiplayer No Out Now

“I am Groot.” (And this is my relatively mediocre pinball table).

Key details

G

uardians of the Galaxy is perhaps the most outlandish of the Marvel movies: full of special effects and wise cracking heroes that fulfills its aim to be an unmitigated cinematic spectacle. Its pinball counterpart is much the same, full of flair and pizazz, though that also makes it one of the least satisfying tables to play. Case in point is the way games begin with an instant multi- ball (five balls are launched into the machine, one for each of the titular Guardians). The joy of a multi-ball comes from its scarcity – handing it out freely adds an unnecessarily frantic element to a game of accuracy. For the most part, the table plays reasonably well, but despite all the superficial gimmickry – which fans of the film will no doubt enjoy – it’s intangibly unsatisfying. Thematically, it’s also a lit tle underwhelming – if you stripped away the images of Rocket, Groot and co, you’d be left with a rather generic pinball table. Despite all of this, it’s still thoroughly playable, and in its own right it can be a lot of fun. The problem is, with plenty of other, better tables on offer, this one’s probably best left for Zen Pinball diehards and Guardians of the Galaxy fanatics.

Format Wii U eShop Publisher Zen Studios Developer Zen Studios Multiplayer Yes Out Now

Alex Jones

Verdict

Verdict

Verdict

With so many other, stronger Mega Man games available this is pointless and pedestrian in equal measure.

A passable run-and-gunner that’s anything but mega. Disappointing, but not a total stinker.

If you really must own every table, then you’ll surely find fun here, but the restof us can probably live without it.

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ZEN PINBALL 2: THE WALKING DEAD TABLE /

UP

REVIEWS ROUNDUP

KICKBEAT / CUBEMAN 2

Mega Men are anything but extreme this month, while The Walking Dead trump Guardians of the Galaxy on the tables, Kickbeat fails to kick off, and Cubemen go missing in inaction.

ZEN PINBALL 2:

THE WALKING DEAD TABLE

KICKBEAT

CUBEMEN 2

You’ll not be walking away from your TV after playing this moreish treat.

Kick this forgettable rhythm-basher to the curb if you can muster the energy

There’s no-one playing this: a bitter truth that you can’t cuboid

Keydetails

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elltale’s Walking Dead gamesare renownedfortheir forebodingsenseof atmosphere,brutal life-or-death decision making,andgritty, emotionalcharacter development.It’stheperfectseriestoadaptfora lightheartedpinballsimthen, er, right? Whileonpaperitmightseemanoddmatch, TheWalkingDead tableisoneofZenPinball2’s finestadditions.Themechanicalclicks and clacksoftheflippers,theinteractionofthe bumpersandballs... asan imitationoffairly crudetechnologyitfitsmuchbetterwiththis post-apocalypticthemethan themostly sci-fi-inspiredMarveltables.The signature flashinglightsarealsousedtogreateffect, flickingwiththeirregularityofanoverused torch.It’sincrediblyatmosphericforatablethat could’ve easilybeengrey anddull. Italsoplays wonderfully. Itsmechanics are mainly simple, akin tothose you mightfind in realpinball(albeitwithaddedlivezombies),but thisstreamlinestheexperiencefornewplayers, whileofferingaprecisionchallengeforveterans tiredofthemoreoutlandishtables.That’snotto sayit’s lacking in spectacle,just thathere,there’s plentyofsubstancetosupportthestyle.More addictive thandelicious braaaaaains…

Format Wii U eShop Publisher Zen Studios Developer Zen Studios Multiplayer Yes Out Now

AlexJones

Keydetails

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adBruceLee wrecked his knee filming Enter the Dragon, traded martial arts for a coding job and lived in the iPhone era, he might have created a game like KickBeat, in which hipster ninjas are punched for all eternity while you drum your fingers to Pendulum and Marilyn Manson. It’s a flashy, not very adventurous rhythmbasher masquerading as The Karate Kid: enemies sidle over to attack and you hit the corresponding face button to counter, dropping a power-up now and then to show willing. Different-coloured foes demand slightly different tactics: reds attack in pairs, for example, while blues pounce in swift succession. Kickbeat isn’t badly made, by any means. Boss battles riff st ylishly on the base mechanics – there’s a dance-off with a helicopter, for example, where you punch homing missiles out of the air. It’s also quite good value for money, if the fundamentals appeal: £8.99 nabs you a survival mode, two campaigns, splitscreen multiplayer and a small selection of unlockable skins and the like. But Kickbeat does feel quite unnecessary, a soporific sim that might engross on a phone but feels out-of-place on a home console.

Format Wii U Publisher Zen Studios Developer Zen Studios Multiplayer 1-2 Out Now

Edwin Evans Thirwell

Key details

T

here’s a lot to say about Cubemen 2, but there’s one glaring problem we’ve got to get off our chests first: it’s an online-focused game, that no-one’s playing. That’s no exaggeration – we spent several hours at different times of day searching for an opponent, and took part in a grand total of zero matches, which is particularly disappointing as it has genuine potential to be an online classic. In terms of gameplay, it’s a real-time strategy title that mashes together the movement and grid-based action of Advance Wars, with the automatic attacks and enemy waves of the tower defence genre. There’s a nice selection of unit types, each with different attacks, ranges and reload times, which balance each other well, including, hilariously, men that can transform into mines. In fact, there’s all the foundations of a really solid action RTS, despite the horrid imitation Minecraft visuals. The inescapable issue, though, is that with online play rendered basically impossible there’s not much to it. There are two passable but short-lived campaigns, a level editor, and a selection of maps (essentially letting you play multiplayer against the CPU) but the simple AI is no substitute for another human mind.

Format Wii U eShop Publisher Nnooo Developer 3 Sprockets Multiplayer Apparently Out Now

Alex Jones

Verdict

Verdict

Verdict

A desperate struggle for survival makes a smooth transition into a compulsive chase for a high score.

A fairly tepid music sim that dabbles in kung fu for the sake of appearances without inspiring you to shake a leg.

If the online community ever picks up, we’d expect to slap another 20% on that score. Until then, steer clear.

Twitter: @onm_uk

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104. Classic Moment:

Returning To Old Hyrule Never fear, landlubbers – beneath Wind Waker’s serene blue expanse lies a cosily familiar landscape. Drink it in.

CONTINUE Retrospectives, insight, FAQs and much more!

100. Rewind: Official Nintendo

Magazine As ONM sails valiantly into the west, our ex-editor Chandra Nair recalls its early days.

102. Time Capsule: Thirst for the

106-113. Best of Wii U/3DS/Wii/DS

We’re happy to say goodbye to these games, at least.

Join ONM for a final roll call of under-sung classics. Time’s ravages cannot thwart our clutching hands.

Worst Alex Dale unearths Nintendo’s rare stinkers.

CONTINUE

THE BIG CLEAN-UP

How to...

SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF THE ONM OFFICE

Te off-brand Luigi head

In the very earliest days of ONM, an avid fan of then-staffer Chris Scullion bought this Hong Kong im as a birthday present (we never simultaneously dooming years of Staff Writers to inhaling its stinky helmet fumes and looking like Frank Sidebottom’s weird uncle.

As we perform our (first and) last clean-up of this wasteland we laughingly call a workspace, some stuff just needs explaining

W

orksomewherefor longenough andtheofficebecomesalittlelike home.Notinaspiritualsense–we don’tgetafeelingofwellbeing– wejustmeanthatpeoplestartleavingtheircrap allovertheplace, noone cleansup,everyone wants tomoveandwe have todealwith noise complaintsfrom theneighbours (shakes collectivemagfistatOXM). Thesideeffectofthisdomesticatmosphereis that,over time, littletraditions, talismansand tokensstart popping up, fewof whichwould make anysense tosomeonewho didn’t work here(justaskHR,whoregularlylookatuswitha classic mixture of disgust andpity uponentering theroom).Aswepackyearsofstupidmemories away, we thought we’d share a littlebehind-thesceneslookat theelements ofthe ONM work day that don’tmakeit into themagazine,and a senseofjustwhatwehavetodealwith.

TeNutcracker

Thisone actually remains a mystery.Matthew arrivedat workonedaytofindthis llChristmasbeast sittingin front rwithaPost-itattachedthatread simply: “SOON...”. Unlike mostoffice pranks amongnarcissistic journalists, no onehas ever admitted tothe deed.Legitimatelyspooky.

Te op rumps

Matthew is nothing if not entrepreneurial. Sadly, he’s also a buffoon. When the office (well, agazine) was sent a batch of rare Top Trumps packs, he stole a dozen of the things, telling us they’d make him rich one day. Recently, he was told another 5,000 packs had been printed. We reckon we saw him spit, disgustedly, into his teeming desk drawer.

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Te horrifying Pokémondrawings

We’re not entirely sure why we still get these. Long after any fan-art pages or even the Official azine are a going concern, we’ll still be sent batches of children’s pictures of Game Freak’s fantasy menagerie. On the one hand, it’s cute. On the other, they ll appear to be crying, screaming, or just broken. Creepy stuff.

Te proto-ONM

Every magazine starts with a sample issue, and for ONM it was this – a thicker, wider slice at includes the sections repeated nd takes a, shall we say, fruitier tone than we generally adopt. Case in point, a review attributed to lovable Tom East calls people whoplay AdvanceWars“ [CENSORED]”.

Te photocopier emails

One week, an increasingly frantic Matthew would periodically shout across the desks that he had age from the photocopier”. These e hand-written insults, scanned in andemailed on our high-tech equipment in a flagrant, hilarious waste of work time. Matthew always suspected Gav and Joe were working together. He’ll never discover the truth.


CONTINUE

THE BIG CLEAN-UP

Teletterofcomplaint

ProductionEditors,thedamned soulswhohavetocorrectour writing,aretheunsungheroesof magazines.Sadly,eventheymissanerroror two, andonereadertookthechancetowritealetter pointingthisout–which,ofcourse,weframedto tormentpoorJimFindlay.Hewasveryunhappy.

Tepileoftheworld’s worstGBAgames

Therearelotsofwaystoshiftold games,butsometitlesarejust ferup.Putitthisway,eventhe isingexecutiveswhoroamthe officeatChristmaslookingforgiftstheyforgotto buyfortheirwretchedchildrenwon’ttakethis stuff.It’sliketryingtogivesomeonemeasles.

Teeffigies

Thepodcastandits“fan”art competitionshasbeenaperfect outlet forour egomania, butone entaboveand way beyondthecall .ListenerLukeSummerhayesisa wonder.Caseinpoint:hispapermachevoodoo abominationsdepicting Matthew, Joeand Chandra.We’llneverthrowthemout.We’reafraid of what might happen to us.

Twitter: @onm_uk

Chris Scullion’s desk

The ex-ONM stalwart has, among other things, a Virtual Boy, a Power Glove, approximately six ndo toys and an original Japanese ario World signed by Shigeru Miyamoto. They all lie in, on, under and around his desk. Somehow they have never been stolen.

Tegrossstickers

Whenyouimaginethe ONM office, youthink colours,staff memberswearing silken erainbows.Assuch,manyare ourdeskscoveredinstickersfor loudbandsand dead wrestlers.As itturnsout,we inheritedourofficefromMetalHammer .Matthew still doesn’tknowwhat a “Cancer Bat”is.

Te“signed”copyof wilightSceneIt?

Youcanblamethisoneonour deskmatesatCVG.Realisingthat wasn’tgoingtobeeasytogetridof, t. ThenforgedShigeruMiyamoto’s signature. Thentold peopleit wasa forgery.It’s testamenttothegoodsenseoftheirreadersthat theyendedupjustchuckingitatJoe,who’s periodically forgotten that it’s a fake, and lost it.

Gavin Murphy’s desk

Our Video Genius/Matthew Castle Ego-burster left some time ago, and yet around a orldly possessions still sit on his k. We want to throw it all out, but we’re afraid his house keys or a much-loved pet might be in there.

Te Nerf assault rifle

At one point, we were also responsible for Official Pokémon Magazine, a more childish n even this encyclopaedia of fart nces to sweets. The upshot of this was that we were sent toys, including a fully automatic foam-firer, which has sent Matthew home with many tiny bruises in its time.

Te fact Joe is still here

You’ll remember that this charlatan turned heel and joined OXM – so why the hell is he back?. fecting, his shower curtain of hair , at which point his plaid-shirted “alt” brandwas ruined. Those new-gen monsters toleratedhim, but chucked him back like a bad fishthismonth.So we got him to do the dusting. And the contents page. A fate worse than death.

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THE BIRTH OF A LEGEND

THE BIRTH OF A LEGEND As we approach the end of this magazine (both in terms of pages and lifespan), we take a moment to get all self-indulgent as ex-Editor and anime hair product expert Chandra Nair looks back on the making of our very first issue

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THE BIRTH OF A LEGEND

T Key details Format Wood pulp and human tears Publisher Future Developer Some douchebags in a B&B Released 2006

ime changes everything. I remember a time when ONM was a source of pain and exhaustion, driven by fear and the unknown. Issue 1. . . boy was that a headache, with the biggest point of contention actually being that for many, this wasn’t actually Issue 1. This was the next issue of a bible. Nintendo Official Magazine (this magazine’s predecessor) had been an integral part of many people’s lives since before they could remember otherwise. Since Mel Gibson’s mullet was acceptable. Or in my case, since I could scrape together enough money to transition from WHSmith squatter to proud magazine consumer. That’s a big old pile of pressure right there, and that, combined with the predictable end-of-console-life software lull, meant that this collection of pages was going to have to impress on so many levels.

backand see what was different in the world of Nintendoin 2006. We interviewed thenpresident of Clover Studios, Atsushi Inaba, who’s sincegone on to become Executive Director at Platinum Games and is about to launch a sequel to oneof thebest-loved gamesof all time (Bayonetta 2).Wewere still at the stage where publishers were somehow creating game titles based on the letters‘D’ and ‘S’.Resident Evil: Deadly Silence anyone?Developer THQ still existed and had just released therather ‘special’Tak, and one of the highest-rated games we put our name to was a game that we’ve just had a superb HD update for (The Legendof Zelda: The Wind Waker ).

BEMY BABY

IN A NUTSHELL If there’s one ingredient that injects an element of the unpredictable into any recipe, it’s nuts. An acquired taste for some, a source of serious intolerance for others, this magazine’s original editor Lee Nutter was all that and more. I’ll admit to being concerned at first. I mean, seriously – magazine experience is one thing, but a PlayStation editor? Really? This is Nintendo. You can’t just slide in on the Crash Bandicoot express and expect to make up for decades of antiknowledge with a few cheeky grins. “Jokingly”, he often referred to his ‘boy band good looks’. As it turns out, though, that was enough, and his beaming mug went on to welcome readers to ONM for many issues to come. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s face it, I could tell you enough stories of Lee’s exploits to fill an entire Special Edition (remember those?). We’re here to remember the mag. Let’s get back to Issue 1 and take the heat off Nutbags for a second. At least it wasn’t Lee who wrote a caption about the Wii’s power supply living inside the plastic console stand. Ouch, that didn’t go down well. How we cried on that infamous day!

“The most shocking thing of all? This first issue of the mag was pre-Wii”

TALKIN’ BOUT A REVOLUTION

TheLowdown ONMisavideogames magazine rivalled in popularity only by The Bible and all the pizza menus you keep when they’re shoved through your door. It is only closing down because we thought it was unfair to everyone else. Bye.

Twitter: @onm_uk

Despite the emotional rollercoaster, flicking back through the wide pages of Issue 1 (what girth we once had) brings a wealth of fond memories flooding back. The original silver DS was on the cover (lovingly referred to as ‘the ol’ chunk-o-matic’ these days), the super-slick DS Lite had only just been announced, and the concept of a 3D screen in the palm of your hands would’ve been laughed out the door.The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess wasn’t even out yet, which meant nobody even had an inkling that my awesome six-issue run of player guides (geez, we stretched that out) were about to give their lives meaning. Most shocking of all, though: this first issue was pre-Wii. The Wii Remote had been shown at the previous E3, and we knew it contained newfangled motion sensor technology – but back then it was still called the Revolution. A world pre-Wii. Wow. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to big changes, and it’s fascinating to go

In theeightyears that have passed since our first issue many things have changed. I’ve had a baby, littleTom East’s had two babies, Lee’s still a massive baby and Nintendo has had enough newbubbas to form its own crèche… But ONM wasmy substitute baby back then, and flicking through thevery first issue still fills me with a huge amountof pride. We went out on a limb with the design– totake such a huge leap from the decidedly‘ 90s layout and approach of the previous iteration was a massive risk – but looking back now and seeing design and content that still stands up to this day fills me with appreciation for the talents of the team. And what a team… I mean, come on: EDGE legend Steve Jarratt oversaw the issue for crying out loud (and it was he who wrote the dodgy Animal Crossing joke on the openingpageby the way. Just saying). Speaking of the team, that brings me back round full circle to stories about Nutter. You see, the thing is, we had to spend two monthsin a B&B together in order to design and create and the first issue. That’s two months away fromour homes, in a strange town full of gawping tourists(Bath very quickly lost its appeal), and 16 hoursa dayin each other’s company. At the end of a 12-hour day, Lee and I would get in the lift, together.Wewould then walk out of the Future Publishing office door, together. At that stage, other people would have the luxury of pretending that they needed to tread different paths to each other.There was no scope for lying in this arrangement. We both knew the inevitable truth thatdifferent paths, however complex, would still leadto exactly the same nightly conclusion. Wegrew very close, as you do when your significant other half is swapped out overnight. I can only assume the local pub landlord must have thought wewere on some kind of budget honeymoon. The only saving grace (and source of great amusement for me) was that Lee found himself sleeping in a basement room, totally convinced that the walls were riddled with peep holes.To be fair, they probably were. Even an arthritic OAPcouldn’t resist the charms of those boyband good looks… Chandra Nair

The days of wishing we could look this beautiful while reviewing DS games in the park are coming to an end. Sad times.

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THIRST FOR THE WORST

For his final assignment, we send ONM history-miner Alex Dale in to the pit of despair to dig out the 10 worstever first-party games, while we solemnly push a heavy boulder over the Nintendo mine’s only exit. Sorry, pal… DonkeyKong:JetRace Format Wii Year 2008

The tragedy is that this was probably a really good game at er the cult success of rhythmgleBeat, Nintendocommissioned akartracinggamethatmadeexclusiveuseof DonkeyKonga’sversatileBongo controller.In the original outline, players would slap the left and right drumsto move,and rapidly roll thedrums toaccelerate. Butlateon inits development,the project wasmoved fromGameCubeto Wii. Now, tactile drum slaps became vague air gestures, and the butchered game became an epic flail.

FlingSmash

Format Wii Year 2010

MotionPluswas amazing. Wii SportsResortandGrandSlam Tennis areforgotten classics. So why didn’t it catchon?Maybe becauseit waspackaged with thisunresponsivemonstrosity of a Breakout game. Wave the remote, shake it, smash it – whatever you did made little difference.

SuperScope6

Format SNES Year 1994

Inthe 1990s, no self-respecting consolewould be seendead unperipheral.Buthowdoyou ngasiconicastheNESzapper?By sublime tothe ridiculous,is how: theSuperScope,ashouldermountedplastic bazooka gun. Andhowbetter toshowoff the Scope’s shoulder-crushingly vast potential than by packing it in with six tepid mini-games – two of whichwere variations on block-puzzlers, and anotheradulltakeonWhac-A-Mole? Theresult? The (notso) SuperScope:TOA (tat on arrival).

Mariois Missing Format NES Year 1993

This‘edutainment’ title was actually a third-party concern tonNESitwasendorsedand big‘N’. InLuigi’s first starring role, he plods tediouslythrough real-world locations, tryingto return landmarks pilferedby Bowser andcrew. Butcurators won’t accept themuntil you’re grilledabout localknowledge. Surely a ‘thank you’ would have sufficed?

Ifeveryoufind yourselfwriting a bookonthehistory ofRare, don’tforget todevotean earlychapter tothis steamer. It was Pictionary , basically – Pictionary where only a dimwit 8-bitconsolegetstodothedrawing,and where whoever buzzes in hasto painstakingly spellout the answer usingthe joypad. It did, however, boastthe singlemost epic-looking boxartinallofgaming,asyoucanseehere. Who could possibly resist such a v isual feast?

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THIRST FOR THE WORST

Even in the NES days, 04 fighting games were capable of UrbanChampion Format NES Year 1986

boasting nuance and depth – observe Punch-Out!! and its system of identifying your opponents ‘tells’ and counter-attacking at the right time. On the other hand, Urban Champion was as nuanced as a sledgehammer. Te only viable tactic was to walk up to your palette-swap foe and trade punches until someone arbitrarily fell.

DonkeyKongJr.Math Format NES Year 1986

Everwondered howthe DonkeyKong family amusethemselveswhen Mario isn’taround?Thisgamerevealsall.It appears that intheir , theadult Konglikes toholdup mathsproblems,whichthe junior eclanattempttosolvebyswingingfromvinetovine,pluckingoutthe numbers whichgrowfrom thetropicalTediumTree.Forget hammers: Mario should have packed some napalm.

Odama

3DTetris

PokémonDash

Format GameCube Year 2006

Format Virtual Boy Year 1996

Format DS Year 2005

This was AeroPorter -developer Yoot Saito’smost famous hour. eenapinballgameanda gygame–wrapyourhead aroundthat.Theaimistocrushtheopposition beneath a giant wrecking ballknown asOdama, directing yourtroopsout of harm’s wayusing thepackagedmicrophone. The problem is it’s far too esoteric to be fun, or even that charming.

Tetris cameinto thisworld perfectlyformed,and any oveit–byaddinganentirenew – wouldprovefatallyflawed.But notasflawedastakingapuzzlerthatrequires intensev isual concentration,and whacking it ontoa VR headset knownfor causing migraines. Ifyoucouldbearitformorethan 10 minutes, you deservedamedal(astupiditymedal,thatis).

Touchscreens were a new conceptin 2005, so games em pedestrian today seemed aliensoftwareback then. But rubbing thescreenbackand forth repeatedly to coaxPikachuinto overtaking a fleet ofMeowths? That junk would’ve seemedancient evenif you’d DeLoreaned the DS back to the year 1905.

CLASSIC MOMENT RETURNING TO OLD HYRULE

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CLASSIC MOMENT

RETURNING TO OLD HYRULE

Returningto Old Hyrule Game Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Format: GameCube/Wii U Released: 2003/2013 Developer: Nintendo EAD Publisher: Nintendo

I

tcanbehardtoletgoofthepast.Justaskthedenizensof WindWaker ’s Great Sea.Clingingto existenceon small, isolated mountaintops that poke outfroma vast, maddeningexpanseof blue,theyare theflotsam andjetsamofwhatwasonceagrandempire. ThemainlineZeldaseriestakesplaceinthesameuniverseinanera spanningthousands ofyears.Withinit, a legendenduresof a smallboy whosavestheworldarmedwithjustaswordandafetchinggreentunic. Butthejoker inthe pack isthatcel-shadedoddity,WindWaker .Forwhat could cartoonishseafaringpossiblyhavein common withOcarinaof Time’s rollingfields andmountains?Well, thosewho havesailedWindWaker ’s seas know theactiontakesplacejusta fewhundredyears afterthe events of Ocarina –andattheverysamelatitudeandlongitude.TheGreatSeais whatbecame ofHyrule. As WindWaker ’sstoryunfolds,it emerges that much haschangedin the lastfewcenturies. With noLinkto watchoverthem, theevilforce,safely confinedatthedénouementof Ocarina’sstory,slips its chains. Withouthisnemesistothwarthim, Ganondorfisfreetowreakhavoc andthegodsfeelcompelledto destroythe world. An antediluvian floodwashesover thekingdom of Hyrule, sinkingall thoseiconic locationstothebottomofthe ocean anddriving theinhabitants awayto rebuildc ivilisation amongst themountaintops. Throughout the adventure, cluesemergethat all is notwhatitoncewas. Windfall Island’slazy windmills bring tomind Kakariko Village. The volatile Dragon RoostIsland’s coordinatesmatch those of DeathMountain. And inthedirectcentre ofthemap– justasit was inOcarina –liesHyrule Castle, nowteetering precariouslyon itsperchofa tinyisland.Thisonce grandiconof a mightyempire,theultimatesymbol ofits wealthand importance, isas doomedandisolatedas thepeopleit once ruled. Sadly,the castleremains largelyunexplored.WindWaker ’sstoryendsas thatof Phantom Hourglass begins. OldHyruleis finallyabandonedand a newlandwith a brightfuture issought. Thesubtextis clear. FromDeath Mountain toHyrule Castle, andfrom SuperPlay,NGC andNGamer toONM, all great empires must fall eventually. Alex Dale

“With no Link, the evil force, once safely confined, slips its chains”

Twitter: @onm_uk

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THE BEST OF Wii U

The best of...

NINTENDOWii U Make the most of your new machine with these gems

New Super Luigi U Publisher: Nintendo Ah, the Yearof Luigi. What a fantastic year. A good vintage year for wine and a good year for verdant Italian plumbers who tire of playing second fiddle. It also gave us this platforming game that substitutes the limelighthogging older brother, Mario, for his lankier sibling. NewSuper Luigi U features some incrediblytough levels, and Luigi’s slightly unfamiliar movements add an extra layer of difficulty. It’s tricky, but in a good way, turning something that looks familiar into a whole new experience. 78%

The Legend Of LEGO City: Zelda: The Wind Undercover Waker HD Publisher Nintendo Publisher Nintendo The adventure we loved in 2003, now with a modern sheen. 92%

This open world romp lets you star in your own cop movie. The best LEGO title in years. 90%

Rayman Legends

Resident Evil: Revelations HD

Publisher Ubisoft It’s on as many platforms as Ray’s got hovering extremities, but we’ve got the best version. 92%

Publisher: Capcom It’s not the feat of technical prowess it once was, but for better and worse, it’s pure Resi. 80%

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LEGO Marvel Super Heroes Publisher: Warner Bros. The best game ever made about rather expensive bits of plastic pretending to be aliens. 91%

Skylanders Swap Force Publisher Activision Enter the exciting world of bankruptcy in the pursuit of colourful, action fun. 80%

Assassin’s Creed Batman: IV: Black Flag Arkham City Publisher: Ubisoft If you don’t like Heath Ledger lookalikes sailing, singing and fighting, you’re sharkbait. 91%

Publisher Warner Bros. Imagine a huge, thirdperson 3D Metroid game where you punch clowns. There you go. Buy it. 82%

Mario Kart 8

Mass Effect 3

Publisher Nintendo It’s fast, but we’re not furious: this is the Penelope Pitstop of racing games on the Wii U. Gorgeous. 96%

Publisher EA Missing out on the five years of carefully crafted storyline everyone else got is almost worth it for the brilliant combat. 81%

Sonic Lost World Splinter Cell: Blacklist Publisher Nintendo It’s not quite the (ahem) Galaxy of ideas we wanted, but Sonic’s more than up to speed in this 3D/2D mash-up. 80%

PublisherUbisoft Not the stealth series it once was, but that’s the point. Fight badly written terrorism your way. 78%

Batman: Arkham Origins Publisher: Warner Bros. Imagine a 3D Metroid game in which you punch – wait a sec. This again? Fair enough. 78%

Monster Hunter

3 Ultimate

Publisher Capcom Much like its fauna, this is big, generally ugly and a lot more interesting in groups. 79%

Super Mario 3D World Publisher:Nintendo Mario’s back and the guy just never stops giving. There aren’t enough superlatives for this. 93%


CONTINUE

THE BEST OF Wii U

Call Of Duty: Black Ops II Publisher Activision Morally dubious, but generous with it. Our first true taste of the firearms phenomenon. 82%

Take Note! These pages are a

In The Mood For...

place for our favourite games on a format. We always score honestly, but that doesn’t account for changes in opinion over time, or late arrival of bribes from our secret illuminati paymasters, which is why you might see a four out of ten Ubisoft Rabbids game magically get a Gold Award.

End credits To paraphrase The Beatles (badly), you say hello, but we say goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye. We don’t know why you say hello . Here are some well -good end credits. FIN.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Publisher: Square Enix

Publisher: Nintendo

Themoody,yellowFPS getsnewsectionsand GamePadfeatures. 90%

Retro takes a swing at putting its stamp on Rare’s classic series. 86%

Injustice: Gods Among Us Publisher: Warner Bros. Shine a Green Lantern over a genre all about Deathstrokes and Shazam! Super. 78%

Need For Speed: New Super Most Wanted Mario Bros. U

NintendoLand

Pikmin 3

Publisher Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Publisher EA

Publisher Nintendo

Has more under its shiny hood than other console versions and has PC textures, to boot. 90%

Yeah, you’ve played it all before, but you couldn’t see Mario’s tramp stamp before it went HD. 86%

NotjustWii U’sdefinitive multiplayer, butalso a fascinatingglimpse into controlinnovations to come.Weloveit. 90%

Shigeru Miyamoto serves up a few more ladles of lovely strategy soup to the veggie-table. Utterly delicious. 90%

Tekken Tag Tournament 2

Hyrule Warriors

The Wonderful

Publisher:Nintendo

101

Publisher Namco Bandai

Zelda meets Dynasty Warriors, things get bloody and lots and lots of goblins get turned into mincemeat. 87 %

Publisher Nintendo

Generations of pugilists in one peculiar package. Many head-knocks mean lots of unlocks. 88 %

Twitter: @onm_uk

Technicolour walloplollop that’s more than the sum of its parts. Tough, but fair. 93%

The Wonderful 101 In an ego-boosting sequence where headlines detailing your success spin up on to the screen with static photos of your fights turning into real-life battles, you can convince yourself you’re reading the Daily Prophet as you beat up a load of bad chaps.

ZombiU Publisher Ubisoft It’s dark, it’s ugly and it plays like a horror game from 1996. It’s also incredible. One of the Wii U’s best games. 92%

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD After a big, stressfulbattlewith [REDACTED] you’ll be treated to relaxing, bubbly end credits, with everyone you’ve met/fought floating past inside their ownlittle sphere. But that’s not all – after you’ve sat through the credits, there’s another end scene.

Hyrule Warriors Aftera fairly incredible end battle with [SPOILERS], Link and [MORE SPOILERS] walk off into the light of a new day, so nearly holding hands that we almost squeed ourselves into comas. Sit back and relax as the credits roll, feeling like a boss.

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THE BEST OF NINTENDO 3DS & 2DS

The best of...

NINTENDO 3DS & 2DS The finest 3DS & 2DS cartridges you can get your hands on

3D CRUSH Publisher: Sega Beforestudios abandonedthe slightly gimmickyideaofusingthe 3DS’ stereoscopiccapabilitiesin their games, CRUSH3D hadagoodgoofit. Squishthe platforming environment fromthe front,back, sideor topto flattenit down, makingnewareas accessible.Chucklesome cutscenes, themed levels andbrain-busting puzzlesareenoughtokeepyougoing fora while,even if a lotof it is trial-and-error. A decent nugget of puzzle gaming, butone thatdissolves tooquicklyonthetongue. 70%

Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance Publisher Square Enix Withagoofypremise,a goofynameand,er, Goofy,thismightseem lightweight,but this Squisney merger is a deep, playfulRPG. 84%

Pokémon X & Y Publisher Nintendo The biggest visual change the series has seen has somehow still left Game Freak with the time to hone its 15-year -old masterwork. We’re confident you’ve never enslaved animals quite like this. 92%

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Kirby: Triple Deluxe Publisher Nintendo Who would have thought Nintendo could base a load of games off a sentient gumball with an eating disorder? Well, it could and this is the latest, eminently playable result. 87 %

TheLegendOf Zelda: A Link Between Worlds Publisher:Nintendo Link’s newadventure in familiar surroundings isa beautifulmeshof old-schoolidealsand newideas. Top-down, topgame. 94%

Professor Layton Vs. Phoenix Wright

Resident Evil: Revelations

Publisher Nintendo

Capcom has only gone and done it: squeezing a console-sized adventure into a cart the size of a custard cream. Lashings of atmosphere and the great Raid mode make it a murky must-have. 90%

This is less collision, more collusion as two masters of mystery aggressively point their way around a classic Takumi tale of murder and maths problems. 90%

Publisher Capcom

Animal Crossing:New Leaf Publisher Nintendo You’lllive here,you’ll holiday here.You’llmake friends,getobsessed,cut downtreesandcutdown anyone in yourway here. You’llrulehere.You mightjustdie here. 95%

TheLegendOf Zelda: Ocarina OfTime 3D Publisher Nintendo Whatistherelefttosay? Pickany nostalgic cliché: LakeHyliasunrise,Water TempleGAH, lunatic windmillman, DarkLink, HEY LISTEN! Toconclude: a masterpiece. 98 %

Rhythm Thief And The Emperor’s Treasure Publisher Sega This Paris-set lark swipes its cues from Elite Beat Agents, Samba De Amigo and Guitar Hero. A fun, Layton-ish mystery is the icing on the cake. 88 %

Bravely Default Publisher Nintendo JustasTiz’stownis absorbedbyayawning sinkhole thatappears withoutwarninginthe ground, soourlivesare suckedintothis ludicrouslyexpansive worldofhats,statsand turn-basedspats. 90%

Castlevania LOS:Mirror OfFate Publisher Konami Fluidcombatchainsitself toclassic’vaniaforsome ofthebestportable actionever.Once you’ve seenamaneataDaemon andsproutwings,little elsematters. 92%

Luigi’s Mansion 2

Fantasy Life

Publisher Nintendo Luigiwouldn’tbe the first personwe’dcall for exorcism assistancebut, judgingby hissecond soloouting, we’d have anabsolutelybrilliant timewatchinghimtryto dothejob. 92%

Animal Crossingmeets Harvest Moon crossed with a class-based strategy system that creates a surprising, joyful sim. It’s as sweet and moreish as dipping your fingers into a tropical lagoon. 94%

Ridge Racer 3D

Star Fox 64 3D

Publisher: Nintendo

Publisher Namco Bandai

Publisher Nintendo

The surprise star of the 3DS launch: stereoscopic 3D visuals and arcing drifts combine to really impressive effect. Throw in classic tracks (both of the tarmac and musical variety) and this is the best 3DS racer ever.87 %

In many ways, this is an even more spectacular remake than Ocarina 3D. Swerving past asteroid fields and skimming over undulating lava oceans is what 3DS was born to do. It helps that the game is still a proper corker. 94%


CONTINUE

THE BEST OF NINTENDO 3DS & 2DS

Etrian Odyssey IV

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Fresh Start Our patented (and

In The Mood For...

infallible, natch) scoring system changed partway through the 3DS era, so you may notice that some higher scoring games have fallen out of the list into what we like to call ‘The Abyss’. Don’t worry, stop fretting, we stilllovethem. Just not as much as before, clearly.

Bittersweet goodbyes

Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars

Kid Icarus: Uprising

Publisher NIS

Publisher Nintendo

Publisher Ubisoft

Publisher Nintendo

Accessible, but difficult; classically minded, but peppered with modern ideas; cartography mixed with combat… this JRPG is a nest of contradictions. That could also be one of its dungeon names. 89%

Fighting begets friendship begets love begets children begets fighting. Imagine Circle of Life playing while humans punch each other on top of an atlas. That’s this game. 90%

Julian ‘X-COM’ Gollop boils Tom’s ‘Clancyverse’ into a strategy gem. A perfect comedown for those who’ve run out of Fire Emblem, as well as a brilliant source for new baffling acronyms. 80%

Mr ‘Smash Bros.’ Sakurai excavates NES’s Greek ruin, reinventing the series as a blistering action spectacle. Factor in a millennium’s worth of content and this is a true angel delight. 91%

Mario Kart 7

Mario & Luigi: Dream Team Bros.

3 Ultimate Publisher Capcom

Monster Hunter

New Super Mario Bros. 2

Publisher Nintendo Drops Wii’s blasted bikes for ace aerial and aquatic hijinks, all playing out on courses from the clever chaps at Retro. Adding private online lobbies makes this Mario Kart ’s tastiest online offering to date. Vroom. 93%

Super Mario 3D Land Publisher Nintendo Is Mario’s 3DS debut a truncated Galaxy or a fattened New Super Mario Bros.? Either way, it’s gloriously athletic stuff, especially when approached with a time trialler’s mentality. 94%

Twitter: @onm_uk

Publisher Nintendo Takes the madness of an RPG series that already sees Bowser’s guts as a humdrum setting and ramps it up to Being John Malkovich levels of lunacy. Amazing. 92%

Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition Publisher Capcom Want to put a bus-sized fist through a lady with freakier muscles than a Sea Life Centre? Stick SSFIV 3DE in your slot. A fully-featured port with great online play. 91%

Publisher Nintendo

Big monsters, big world, big bagpipe mallets, tiny little console. Monster Hunter’s always felt at home on a handheld, and it’s just taken out a ‘fun mortgage’ on our favourite one. 88 %

Don’t go in expecting an explosion of innovation and you’ll find typically tight platforming, some fun level design and an unabashed celebration of filthy lucre. Mr Reliable strikes again. 90%

Theatrhythm: Curtain Call

Virtue’s Last Reward

Publisher Square Enix

Publisher Rising Star

The Final Fantasy rhythm game boogies back with hundreds of new songs to bop your little JRPG head along to... or get really weepy over. Even sadder than the time [SPOILERS]. 90 %

Nine strangers are thrust into a deadly game in this tremendous visual novel. It’s more book than game (thus visual novel), but the yarn is compelling stuff, expertly spun over 30 hours of play. 88 %

First Joe, now Kate. Everyone always leaves, and it makes us awful sad. The paper plates we drew faces on aren’t that good of a replacement either. Though they are sometimes more productive.

Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy It’s Layton’s last outing, which gets this game started on a morose note to begin with – and that’s even before we get stuck into a story that involves a girl, orphaned from her ancient civilisation, and all the sad things that have to happen in order to save the world. Blub…

Animal Crossing: New Leaf Oh, Marshal! Why did you leave us? You were our only bastion of joy in an otherwise joyless, weed-infested town. We would wade through a million requests for peaches from people standing next to peach trees just to see your lovely, slightly grumpy face aga in. Whyyyyyyy?

Fire Emblem: Awakening Poor Kellam. Doomed to be invisible, constantly fading into the background like a family pet that isn’t cute anymore. His sad, heart-rending phrases show a life of loneliness, culminating in his final, dying words: “I-I’m done for... I wonder if... anyone will notice... I ’m gone...” :(

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THE BEST OF Wii U eSHOP

The best of...

NINTENDO Wii U eSHOP Sixteen reasons to buy an external hard drive

Stick ItTo TheMan! Publisher:Ripstone A point-and-click adventurepacked withwit,styleandflair, StickItTo TheMan!wasawelcomeaddition totheWiiUeShop.YouplayRay,a blue-collarbum ina world where everythingismadeoutofpaperand scissors,who findshimself onthe run fromthelaw. Luckily forRay,help isat handfroma long, unexplained spaghettiarmgrowingfromthetopof hishead.Mental.Literally:he canread minds aswell. Thebrilliantscript and excellent voice actingbelie thegame’s tightbudget. 80%

Earthbound

Guacamelee!

Publisher Nintendo

Publisher DrinkBoxStudios

Thislittle-seenclassic breakseveryruleofthe RPGcanon,including makingitontotheeShop listasaVCgame. 90%

Spin The Bottle Publisher KnapNok Grabs other party games by the rooster, revealing the outer boundaries of what Wii U’s GamePad can do. Ace! Daft! 88%

110

Get‘DiadelosMirthful’ withthiswonderful, colourful puzzle-actionplatformer. 87%

CastleStorm

ChildOf Light

Publisher ZenStudios

Publisher Ubisoft

A tactical actiontower defencegame with MOBAelementsthat’s somehowanythingbut utterly awful. 87%

Rhymingcouplets, hand-paintedartand giant spidersmake foran epicadventureforlost protagonist,Aurora. 87%

Knytt Underground

PullbloxWorld

Runner 2

Publisher:Nintendo

Publisher Gaijin Games

Publisher Ripstone

Pushit,pullit,bop...er, wait,that’ssomething else.Anyway...thisis a brillsequelonWiiUand youshouldgetit. 85%

Run, dance, run, loop-the-loop, jump, block, slide, run, dance, slide-jump, die, die, die, DIE. Brilliant. 85%

Toki Tori 2+

Trine 2: Director’s Cut

Steamworld Dig

Publisher Frozenbyte

One of the 3DS eShop’s most brilliant protégés graduates onto the Wii U in this tasty, sharp HD remake. 90%

Foul-mouthedsprites andplatformingabound inthistwistedtakeonthe Metroidvaniagenre. 87%

Star Wars Stick It To Pinball: Balance The Man! Of The Force Publisher:Ripstone Publisher Zen Studios The Force is strong in this pinball tie-in. We should trademark that gag. 84%

The only game where it’s okay to get stuck, we’re glued to this point-andclick misadventure. 80%

Publisher Two Tribes Much like a Mogwai, this puzzler looks really cute, hides a very dark side and will result in harm to animals. Be warned. 87%

A wizard, an archer and a knight walked into a 2D puzzle-platformer. It was really brilliant. 90%

Cloudberry Kingdom Publisher Ubisoft Infinite levels, loads of powers, a few beards and one fury-punched power button. Skills. 80%

Scram Kitty And His Buddy On Rails Publisher Dakko Dakko Our favourite thing to do on rails since going off them.Superb. 90%

Publisher: Image & Form


The best of...

NINTENDO 3DS & 2DSeSHOP The finest digital delights that virtual money can buy

Nintendo 3DS Guide: Louvre Publisher: Nintendo Cornering that much sought-after niche market– Parisianfine art connoisseurswhoare inpossession of a 3DS – Louvre tellsyoupractically everythingyou’llneedtoknowabout what’son showwithinthe glassy walls of themost-visited art gallery in the world. Nintendo 3DS Guide: Louvre is likehavinga veryexcitable art expert in yourpocket, describing the brush techniquesin soothing tones. We sayoui,oui. Orshouldthat be Wii, Wii?

Hana Samurai: HarmoKnight ArtOfThe Sword Publisher: Nintendo Publisher Nintendo A princess is in a castle. Punch-Out!! combat. An annoying man in the village shop. This harks back to a few Nintendo classics and nearly comes out one itself. Eight quid bags you a gem. 80%

Siesta Fiesta Publisher Mojo Bones This cute little eShop game combines our two favourite things – sleeping and Breakout – in gorgeous, brightly coloured, Mexicaninspired style. Taco bout good gaming. 90%

Twitter: @onm_uk

Side-projects aren’t usually supposed to be a good idea, but if this rhythm action autorunner – created by fidgety Pokémon devs in their downtime – is anything to go by, we’d welcome more. 78%

SteamWorld Dig

Hydroventure: Spin Cycle Publisher Nintendo Thesequeltotheace WiiWaregame retains thelovelywaterphysics, butfunnelstheminto smaller,better designed, stages. Andhow nicefor the 3DS’sdustygyrosto seeabitofaction. 86%

Steel Diver: Sub Wars

CrimsonShroud AttackOf The Friday Monsters! Publisher Level-5 Publisher Level-5 Besidesthethreatof weekly kaijuattacks,this beautiful adventurewrit-small’s biggest achievement isthat it makes younostalgicfor someone else’s childhood. 86%

Mario And Donkey Kong: MinisOnThe Move Publisher Nintendo A puzzlerthat rarely stops givingand never stops snappingat your heels.Pullupastressball: you’llbeshoutingat yourselfforawhile. 82%

StreetPass Mansion

Publisher Image & Form

Publisher Nintendo

Publisher Nintendo

This utterly fantastic mix ofMetroidvania platforming, Minecraft planning and drunk, ex-human troglodytes came from nowhere and planted a pickaxe in our disbelief lobes. 90%

3DS’s side-scrolling,

Thepickofthenew StreetPass titlesis a bafflingly,brilliantly bizarremash-upof later FinalFantasies,Tetrisand cartographyand isevery bitas excellentas that sounds. 85%

sub-aquatic shooter has been reimagined as a first-person, free-to-play game. Our expectations were then torpedoed a second time by the fact that it’s great fun. 79%

LikeplayingDungeons& Dragonswith realmagic, thisisasinterestingasitis bafflingthatitwasever made. Somehow this 10-hourexperienceis betterthanmostfull lengthRPGsonthe 3DS. Niche,butnice. 90%

Pullblox Publisher Nintendo Pushtheblox.Pullthe blox.Savethechild. Repeatfor hours and hoursduetoendless user-generatedlevels. Sitsamongthe greats of thepuzzlingpantheon likethecocksurenewkid it is.Rightfullyso. 92%

Fallblox Publisher Nintendo We’ve long said Pullblox is the greatest 3DS eShop game. Since its sequel came out, we’ve been trying to work out if that’s still the case. Adding a new flavour, gravity to a classic recipe, this is great. 87 %

Shovel Knight Publisher Yacht Club Games Yacht Club’s ode to the old 8-bit ways of action platforming is – whisper it – better than many of the games that inspired it. Old-school graphics and tense platforming in spades. We dig it. 87 %

VVVVVV

Zen Pinball 3D

Publisher Nicalis

Publisher ZenStudios

Inspace,no-one canhear youscreamagainand again andagain.This gravity-swapping 8-bit platformermightnot looklikemuch,butit’sa viciouslytoughlittle world youwon’twantto stopexploring. 88 %

Theonlythingmissing fromthispinballsimis theheavystenchofa bikerwaitingtohavea go.Thatsaid, youget toweringmechanical castles,too,so maybe thisisevenbetterthan thereal thing. 88 %

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CONTINUE

NINTENDO Wii LEGEND

Legends

NINTENDO Wii Live by the sword, die of acute tendon strain

Top Five Wii Games

Zelda:SkywardSword Publisher Nintendo MotionPlusputsa MasterSwordinyour hand forLink’smould-breakingepic.Astounding. 98 %

PLAY THIS CLASSIC ONYOUR WiiU

Red Steel 2

MetroidPrimeTrilogy Publisher Nintendo Threeepicsin one box? You’d need your brain sucked outby a Metroid notto gofor it. 94%

Format Wii Publisher Ubisoft Developer Ubisoft ParisVerdict 86%

E

ver sincethe gods conjuredthecosmos intobeing with imperious waggles of their Wii remotes, humankind has laboured, inch by inch,towards one ultimate goal:a motion-sensitiveaction gamewith sword-fighting thatcompares towhat youseein StarWarsor,well–let’ssay RobRoy . Or attheveryleast,Highlander . Releasedin 2010,Red Steel 2 isthegamethatcomesnearesttofitting thebill. That’smostlybecause it understandsthe concept’slimitations. Where competitors foolishly attempt to give unpractised fencers complete 1:1 control over your blade, cue windmill impressions and dislocated shoulders, this one relies on a sensible marriage of direct motion recognition and more abstract gestures. Hold the remote’s A button and you’ll be able to tilt your lov ingly etched, cel-shaded katana to block attacks – basic blows and projectiles are deflected automatically, but you’ll need to angle the weaponprecisely to see off heavy strikes. Let the buttongo, andthe gamewill translateyour inept pushingmotions, wavesand wobblesinto mercilesssweeps and stabs. To help the struggling player, icons considerately materialise above skulls that both advertise the possibility of a certain move and remind you of how to performit. Oh, and if

you’re feeling impatient youcan alsobust out yoursix-shooter, shotgunor rifle in an eyeblink byaiming theremoteand pulling thetrigger(the gametakesplaceinahybridoftheWildWest andcyberpunkJapan, comparablein toneto Afro Samurai).It’sa smart, elegant system that keys intosome fairlyelaborate spats– amongother exercisesin flamboyance,you’llget to lift enemies into theairand jugglethemwith bullets,asinDevilMayCry . Sowhywas RedSteel 2 sucha flop? Well,the mainreason was thatyouhadtobuyanewWii peripheralin orderto play it –theill-fatedWiiMotionPlus,a recognition-improving device thathad beenreleasedthe previousyearto cliponto your existingcontroller. It wasn’t explosivelypopularat launch andhadmoreor less vanished fromthe industry’shivemindby thetimeRedSteel 2 slunk onto shelves.The 2006 originaldidn’texactlypavethewayfora top-sellingsequel, either: we enjoyedit on the whole,butthe actualfencing (billedas “Wii Boxingwith swords”by reviewer Tom East) left much tobe desired.Still,nowthatWii MotionPlus units can be had for the price of a posh sandwich, this is the perfect time to dust off those dreams of becoming the Fifth Musketeer. Edwin Evans-Thirlwell

“The game’s smart, elegant system keys into some fairly elaborate spats”

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SuperMarioGalaxy 2 Publisher Nintendo A joyous celebration of colour,invention and fun. CouldNintendo everimprove on this? 97 %

SuperSmashBros.Brawl Publisher Nintendo As mucha monument to Nintendo as it is a fighter.How thiswill everbe topped? 95%

Xenoblade Chronicles Publisher Nintendo One of the greatest worlds we’ve ever visited, in the most original RPG of the last five years. 92%


Legends

NINTENDO DS Right angles have it coming in this retro escapade

Top Five DS Games

GTA: Chinatown Wars Publisher Rockstar A living, breathing, horrible cityin your palms. BrilliantlyatoddswithNinty’sworldview. 94%

Geometry Wars: Galaxies

Some years later and we’re given to Vietnam-style flashbacks whenever we see a diamond shape

PLAY THIS CLASSIC ON YOUR 3DS

Zelda: PhantomHourglass Publisher Nintendo Astylus-controlledWindWaker sequelseems crazy.Itwas,butit’swonderfulforit. 95%

Format DS Publisher Sierra Developer KujuEntertainment Verdict 78%

G

eometry Wars began life on a home format – an arcade curio, which was buried in the depths of a glossy racing sim – but for us, the series is at its best when it is on the go. True, Kuju Entertainment’s creaky old DS version isn’t equal to the rippling 3D horseplay you’ll be treated to on beefier machines, but such gratifications are fleeting, grasshopper. When your body is compressed against a train window at rush hour, forced into a corner like a brittle spacecraft pursued by waves of raging cosmic bangles, what will those graphical flourishes avail you then? The basics of play are very similar to what you’ll find on other systems. Coloured shapes erupt from the depths of a 2D grid, thirsty for blood, and you flit around shredding them, pumping up your multiplier and edging closer and closer to the level’s completion score. There’s a modest supply of screen-clearing smart bombs to propel you out of a tight spot, but victory is otherwise a question of reflexes and a nigh-prophetic ability to spot gaps in the swarm. The music is hypnotic, which is accentuated rather than disrupted by the bleeps of expir ing enemies, and the dual stick control scheme translates naturally to stylus control, though

prolonged play will inevitably take its toll. You may notice that your ship is curved like a claw – that’s the shape your hand will be in after an hour with the game. Somewhat counter-intuitively, the DS version is probably the most abundant in terms of modes and features. There’s more than one map, for starters, and those maps come in all shapes and sizes, which has obvious tactical ramifications – it’s easier to get dog-piled inside a triangle than when you’re cruising the serene expanse of a square. There are also drones, tiny helper craft who scoot gamely along in your wake – Scrappy Doos to the player’s Scooby, if you will. New drone AIs are unlocked as the campaign unfolds, ranging from the basic “follow me, kill stuff” mindset to AIs that can gather Goems that are dropped by enemies for upgrades, and lone wolves that sit in place pouring fire in all directions. Geometry Wars should have been a Nintendo game to begin with. It’s simple and unforgettable in exactly the same way as the pick of arcade blasters that you find on SNES and NES. If the IP’s arrival on a Mario platform was overdue, though, that doesn’t mean you have an excuse for missing it. Shape up. Edwin Evans-Thirlwell

“Victory is about reflexes and a prophetic ability to spot gaps in the swarm”

Twitter: @onm_uk

Layton And The Lost Future Publisher Nintendo Crime-fighting’shat-catchinghead-scratcher had his best moments in the third game. 93%

Mario Kart DS Publisher Nintendo The classic racer, equipped with tons of modes andone-cartridgemultiplayer. 95%

Might And Magic: Clash Of Heroes Publisher Ubisoft Puzzles + strategy + RPG = ace. 90%

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CONTINUE GOODBYE

GOODBYE FROM NINTENDO As we reach the final page, we turn things over to the icons who have brought us so much fun. It’s goodbye from us – bye! – and goodbye from them.

Dear readers of ONM, As you may know, we recently had the 125th anniversary of Nintendo, and if history shows us anything, it’s that we must always evolve and adapt. As times change, so do platforms and the way we communicate, and it is with some regret that I write these words to you in the final issue of the UK’s Official Nintendo Magazine. I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude for your continued support of Nintendo over the years. I hope you stay in touch with us, by watching our Nintendo Direct presentations, visiting our website and getting involved on our social media channels. We will remain committed to crafting the sort of unique experiences that you can only find with Nintendo. Tank you all,

Satoru Shibata

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Eiji Aonuma

Yoshio Sakamoto

Katsuya Eguchi

akashi ezuka www.officialnintendomagazine.co.uk

NINTENDO - Official Nintendo Magazine December 2014

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