Loss A weaving of words Part the III By: Caleb Alan Kestner
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Loss A weaving of words Part the III By: Caleb Alan Kestner
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Copyright © 2009 by Caleb Kestner. All Rights Reserved. (I make no claim to the illustrations; they are in no way my creation, unless otherwise noted. If you happen to know the author of one of the pictures listed, as anonymous, please let me know so I can give them proper credit.)
2nd Story Press Minneapolis, Minnesota Printed in the United States
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This book is dedicated to my Mom. Who gave me words. Thank you.
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Contents iiiXXVII. Simply Simplicity ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~13 iiXXVIII. Leaving Normal ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~14 iiiiXXIX. Loss ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~18 iiiiiXXX. Torn ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~21 iiiiXXXI. Pure ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~22 iiiXXXII. War of the Hours ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~25 iiXXXIII. Why to War? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~26 iiXXXIV. Cruentus Rosa ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~29 iiiXXXV. Vitium ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~30 iiXXXVI. Civilization ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~33 iXXXVII. Read it all or not at all ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~34 XXXVIII. Words ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~37 iiXXXIX. Faust ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~38
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Illustrations
Venetian Mask ~ Anonymous
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The Looking Glass (In) ~ John Tenniel
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Caravan ~ Charles Theodore Frere
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Don Quixote ~ Gustave Doré
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Laputa ~ Anonymous
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Pandora ~ John William Waterhouse
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The Looking Glass (Out) ~ John Tenniel
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Eye’s of Sorrow ~ lilfuzz6
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Torn ~ Deusuum
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New Snow ~ Anonymous
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Black Angel ~ Luis Royo
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Gunsmoke ~ David Cartwright
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Red Rose ~ Anonymous
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Smaug ~ John Howe
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Angkor Wat ~ Commons
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Der Bücherwurm ~ Carl Spitzweg
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Silenced ~ Anonymous
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Faust ~ Anonymous
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“One science only will one genius fit; so vast is art, so narrow human wit.” Alexander Pope
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Simply Simplicity Simply simplicity, mask upon mask New faces painted for every task Shattered existence never unveiled Never revealing the things that they've failed Pain never shown, tears never cried Knowing with ever laugh that they've lied Anger is licensed, bound and controlled Slowly entrapped by the things they've been told Farewell to infinity, patterns on the floor Ever situation feeds an appetite for more Grasping for the moments, things that quickly fade Locked within this prison of possessions that they've made Blind to the faults that have encrusted their soul Ever astounded that they’re never quite whole
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Leaving Normal Stepping through the looking glass there is no stepping back The journey once accepted is a never-ending track Adventure leads to places that we should not dare to go Questions lead to answers that we should not dare to know To wander through the wardrobe is to leave what’s safe behind Forever leaving normal for the hope of what you'll find A journey of a thousand steps that cannot be retraced
A single step once taken that can never be erased Dangerous the road that flows away from your front door Keep your feet or it may sweep you to a distant shore Should ever you joust windmills or travel mystic lands Blaze trails through rotting jungles caravan cross burning sand Remember with each victory there’s also something lost
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17 There’s a price for each adventure that’s not always worth the cost So whether it’s the seven seas or past the worlds own edge Regardless of the paths you take or promises you pledge Should find you Never Never Land and finding choose to go All that which you had afore will ne’er again be so For once you’ve rode Laputa or Pandora’s Box unbound Once love has hold your spirit or wisdom had been found
Once blind eyes have been opened or sirens song is heard Once tragedy has struck so hard that laughter seems absurd Once Wonderland is entered your soul is ever changed The world you left behind you is ever left estranged You can return to bridges burned but o’er them none may pass For once you stray there is no way to get back through the glass
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Loss Worst of sorrows, deepest dread Throbbing thoughts that fill my head Hollow heart far less then whole Un-cried tears that bind my soul Moments slip through listless hands Death that know one understands How can beauty fade so fast? Future's promise turned to past Hours lifted up on high Crashing down as time ticks by Vibrant life so quickly lost Is ever death perfections cost? Who are we to dictate when? A vapor dies within the wind But still my mind can't comprehend Why life so young should have to end I know that all must cease to be That death the soul from flesh does free But knowledge doesn't staunch the pain Or calm the maelstrom in my brain My aching pain no logic sees or understanding knows It merely burns through every nerve or vein through which it flows I cannot ever truly come to terms with what is gone It's one more thing I carry as I'm forced to move along Missing moments, day's undone Words unfinished, fights unwon When everything has gone away And night has finally conquered day Past the endless sea of death indeed may be much more But all that's ever left is loss for those upon the shore
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Torn Torn in two my sides compete Each the other to defeat Light and darkness, black and white Good and evil, wrong and right Ever hungry wanting more Ever yearning for their war Different parts of all that’s me Two reflections I could see Past and future, lost and found Happy heartache, silent sound True deception, honest lie Deep within I live to die Hope eternal yet may spring Everlasting light to bring Battles wait still to be waged Souls in flesh remain still caged Passions follow passions lead Hearts are chained and hearts are freed Chaos of the human soul Ever straining to be whole Light to light and sin to sin What is fed is sure to win Time unmeasured time to few What we are is what we do In the end one side must lose Beware the torn piece you choose
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Pure Frozen tears from heaven fall as snow upon the ground Pure white the only color, silence all the sound All my tracks are covered, every step that walked away Unbroken is the path ahead as if to gently say Your trespasses are covered, your debts have all been paid Your many sins forgiven, your broken heart remade Your past is left behind, you your future yet to be Your present undecided as you struggle to be free Two roads remain before you, the wide and narrow way One leads to your salvation, the other leads astray Redemption has been granted, but still you must decide Your steps not your intentions will control which one is tried
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War of the Hours Against my monster I wage war Ever certain, never sure A blackness deep inside of me Locked within, yet running free Sin’s seduction, bittersweet Crippled wings, still fight to beat I yearn to live yet choose to die I try to laugh, but only cry The hours pass in dark of night My soul cries out in search of light My spirit mourns for what I’ve lost My fight is weakened by its cost Loss of love, I fall and weep Love they gave, I failed to keep War of the Hours never done Never finished never won
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Why to war? Why to war go charging we on steeds of righteous rage? Slashing through in shining suits the battles that we wage We justify their dying cries by crying, “we cried too!" And death breeds hate, breeds rage, breeds death, in cycles all to true Is peace the just reward of war? Or war corrupted peace? Is all of man so twisted that this murder we can't cease? But then again is all death sin? Do all deserve to live? If someone strives to take a life can we to them it give? Is it not right to take a life that other lives may grow? But what if both are victim, both of them the foe? How can we bind the broken sides and sooth the years of hate? When will the children of revenge learn blood their thirst won't sate? War that necessary bane that plague upon mankind. Ever doomed to die for life we never seem to find.
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Cruentus Rosa Frozen beauty hearts unfold Blood red petals spun of gold Razor thorns of all life's pains Spot its emerald stem like stains Blushing blooms that greet the dawn An instant here, in an instant gone A leaf unfurls to morning light And bids farewell the fading night Grown from grief and misery, watered by our tears A symbol of our beauty, an image of our fears A painful beauty worth the cost Risking love that could be lost Cruentus Rosa, Blood-Red Rose The splendor of pain from which love grows
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Vitium Then look upon the monsters maw Where diamond daggers line its jaw Its tongue a velvet soft as sleep And Gold along its throat is heaped The smell of spices sweet and strong is heavy on its breath An enticing blend fragrances that masks the stench of death Its granite eyes give off a glare as cold as winter skies Hypnotically it stares at you and whispers frigid lies Its scales are polished silver with an iridescent glow Its fingers end in milky claws as pure as crimson snow “My way is easy, fun and fast” it says and smiles wide “Come taste the fruit of vanity and drink the wine of pride” It slowly inches closer as its prey begins to near Promising them all they ask to wash away they’re fear “Indulgence is such pleasing sport and temperance so dull” “Lust is such delightful bliss just let your conscious lull” And as they’re slowly swallowed up the illusion disappears They realize the choice they’ve made has a price that’s paid in tears
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Civilization Upon this place that once would be There sat a still of symmetry But now that day has gone away Tomorrows lost in past today’s The trees once green are gnarled and dry Once great beauty slowly dies Here once stood the triumph of man Now naught remains but deaths cool hand
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Read it all or not at all Read it all or not at all the words with which you’re fed Contemplate before you sate yourself with what you’ve read Take the time to see the rhyme in all you dare to know The reasons for the learned lore and all that it might show Look within as you begin to ponder what you gain Remember to in all you do an open mind retain Dare stand firm as you confirm what yet may not be true Then believe what you receive no matter what you do Keep inside the things you hide until they can be free Ever blind to thus remind you of what none can see Still remains the slight refrains that never truly leave Cautious hands that work the strands of every dream we weave
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Words A mask of silence a voice restrained Words withheld to stop the pain Misunderstanding, refusing to hear Why try to speak when the sound isn’t clear Silence is taught so silence is learned A book not yet written is already burned My voice tries to speak, they push it away “Nobody cares what you have to say” There are those who’d listen, but I’m locked in a trance The risk of rejection to painful a chance I’m not always like this and I won’t always be But you must understand this too understand me There’s a part of me missing that I’ve yet to find A feeling of confidence lost in my mind I’m fixing my problems but the progress is slow In time wounds may heal but scars always show I may never be perfect, I may never be whole I may always be haunted by the flaws in my soul But I still treasure beauty and I still trust in hope I have faith in the power of my spirit to cope I may never be famous I may never be known My gifts and my talents may never be shown But that has no bearing on what I might be The extent of my purpose is left up to me I’m as strong as my weakness as true as my lies And I’ll fall just as much as I’m willing to rise
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Faust As I move along a world gone wrong, nothing seems to last Every possibility corrupted by the past The bloody stains of broken veins, to me a message send Evidence of time gone by when hearts refused to bend A symphony calls out to me, in sounds that I can't hear An orchestra of majesty drowned out by roaring fear And turning I look to the sky, but still I cannot see For wretched clouds of sorrow drift between the sun and me A sadness falls as darkness calls, a message all too clear And the demons on my shoulder whispers lies of hate and fear “Times running out” the demons shout, “its far too late to turn” “You made the choice , you sold your soul and now its time to burn” Deep within I feel the sin, that seals my fate in blood That turns the purists of my deeds to worse then muck or mud I have no hope with which to cope, I’m doomed to worse then death But as the demons cackle the wind breathes one last breath The morbid shroud of blackened cloud, is split from up on high The demons look with fearful glares and cease their piercing cry A shaft of light engulfs my sight, it blinds me yet I see And something moves within it as my demons start to flee An angel stands with sword in hand, he’s robed in blazing white His splendor overpowers and I cower at the sight “Arise and hear and do not fear,” but still my body quakes I think of all my many sins, my numerous mistakes “Its far too late I’ve sealed my fate, I’ve sold my soul to hell” He says in words of pure compassion “it was not yours to sell” Weeping I now raise an eye, and see his outstretched hand “It’s yours but you must chose it, your heart God won’t command” “But I have strayed and not obeyed, I’ve lived a life of sin” “For such as you he sacrificed his everything to win” “How can it be he’d see in me, a soul that’s worth that cost” “Because you are his children and he loves you, though your lost” “And that is why he chose to die. So that you might be found” “And of your own decision by sin no more be bound” I take his hand and rising stand, I’ve nothing left to say My final moments now are past, he takes my soul away
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Continued in . . .
It’s A weaving of words Part the IV By: Caleb Alan Kestner
http://www.aweavingofwords.blogspot.com
