Secrets to Reading Female “Attraction Signals” How to Know for Sure When She’s Attracted to You! By John Alanis “The KING of Let ‘em Come to You”
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Hey guys… My name is John Alanis. Many of you reading this know who I am. Others may not. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a 5’7”, balding, bad dresser who drives a beat up red 1992 Buick Regal, and yet, despite these handicaps, I continually experience the types of relationships with women even the truly rich, truly powerful can only dream about… and I can teach you how to do that too, no matter your looks, age, income, race or any other factor you might think may be holding you back from success with women. In fact, I’ve become so successful with women AND teaching other guys how to get attractive women to approach them first that I’ve become known as “The King of Let ‘em Come to You.” When it comes to meeting women, I’ve always taken a much different path than most men. I don’t walk up and meet women, I engineer situations that get them to approach me. I don’t worry about whether she “likes me” or not, I set it up so that SHE worries whether I like her or not. And I turn down a lot of women. Why? Because I can discover in 15 minutes or less if she’s someone I’d prefer to spend my time with… and usually she’s not. I’m very picky. I don’t mean to brag by telling you all this. That’s not my intention at all. Rather, I want you to understand I do have a lot of knowledge about women and what makes them tick, so when I let you in on a secret of mine, you’ll pay close attention and go out and put it to use. I love to hear success stories from other guys who took what I had to say and used it. I like guys who are doers, not talkers, and in this report I’m going to give you some information you can put to use immediately to skyrocket your success with women… IF you’re a doer, not a talker. As you can see by the title, the subject of today’s lesson is recognizing “female attraction signals.” If there’s one question I get over and over from guys, it’s this one: “How do I read her, how do I know if she’s attracted to me? What should I look for?” I’m going to answer that question in this report, in a different way than you might expect. But if you pay close attention and understand what it is I have to tell you, you will be in possession of a powerful tool. Are you ready? Good… let’s go. Lots of stuff has been written about women “giving off signals” to let you know they’re interested. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not. I don’t know. And I don’t really care. Why? Because I presume all women are attracted to me. Every single one of them. It’s a core belief I have instilled in myself. And it’s very powerful. If she’s already attracted to you, you don’t have to worry about her giving you signals. Who
cares if she flips her hair, if she smiles, or any of that other stuff. It doesn’t matter to me. She’s already attracted because I just showed up. Now I know this may sound goofy or arrogant at first, but stay with me. It really is a subtle “re-frame” of the whole dynamic between men and women. What do most guys do when they first start talking to a woman? They start saying to themselves, “I wonder if she likes me. Is she attracted? I just don’t know!” This does two very bad things that KILL attraction. 1)
It forces your focus internally—you’re listening to the conversation in your own head, instead of paying attention to her.
2)
You are letting her define authority in the relationship. And if you’ve read my book, Secrets of Natural Attraction (which is conveniently available by going to www.womenapproachyou.com/enter.htm) you know that is the worst “attraction sin” you can commit. When you let her “define authority” you become a nice guy. And we all know what happens to nice guys.
By presuming attraction, you do two good things: you shut off the negative conversation in you own head, and you shift your focus to her. You also define authority in the relationship from the beginning, because now she has to prove to you that she’s worthy of your time. These beliefs are very powerful, and I suggest you adopt them as your own. If she’s talking to you, she’s attracted. Plain and simple. Adopting these beliefs makes a subtle, yet powerful, shift in your “frame” with women. (When I say “frame” I mean the existing rules governing the interaction which you are free to change at any time with your beliefs or your language skills). Instead of wondering, “does she like me” you start asking yourself this question: “How do I deepen her attraction, so she’ll act on it and spend more time with me, if I choose to let her do so?” Do you see how by simply changing the questions you ask yourself, you change the “frame” completely? Now you have all the power, not her. The only question is, what steps will you take next to deepen the attraction? Now, don’t get me wrong—there are “signals” you should look for in your interaction with her that can be very useful. I call these “guide posts” because they let me know her current level of attraction, so I’ll know what to do next to deepen it. Here’s the interesting thing about signals: many guys are passive, and look for a “sign” from her that they should “make a move.” I take the opposite approach: I actively do things to get her to give me certain signals that I know signify deep attraction. If,
through my words and actions, I can get her to give me these signals, I know she is on the path to deep attraction. So, I try to elicit these from her. Would you like to know how I do that? And what I look for? OK, OK, I’ll tell you. The very first thing I do when I meet her is smile my “naughty little boy smile” and shake her hand. Then I hold onto it for as long as she’ll let me. Some pull it away immediately, but others will hold your hand for an hour. Obviously, if she does that, it’s a good sign. As we being to talk, I start acting like a smart ass, giving her a bad time in a good way. What I’m looking for is genuine laughter and fun, plus what can best be described as the “half lidded eye look.” This is when they finish laughing, and look up at you with a “seductive look” in their eyes, usually with the eye lids closed ever so slightly. It’s usually followed with a smile that hints at “I can’t believe you just said that, and I can’t believe I just laughed.” Again, this is a sign of deeper attraction. As soon as I see this sign, I begin touching her in a very non-obtrusive way. When she laughs, I start off by touching her forearm with the back of my hand. It's a natural, subtle touch, one women rarely resist. If she does resist this kind of touch (and I can't ever remember one who has) then you need to quickly move on. If she responds positively, then you are well on your way. See, what you want to do is condition her to respond positively to your touch. You can't just go from no touching to making a full on “move.” It's too sudden and overwhelming and can evoke a fear response, even if she is attracted to you. So, what I do is this. If she responds positively to my initial touch, I begin to get just a bit bolder. Every time she laughs, I squeeze her shoulder. Then I squeeze it and hold it just a bit longer. Then I quickly touch the top of her knee with my fingertips just for a second. Then a bit longer. Then I look for a reason to take her hand in mine, whether it's to comment on her rings, or her “slender fingers” or her “unusual nail polish” or whatever. Then I hold on as I continue talking to her. Rarely do they pull it away. Then and only then do I kiss her, and I never meet with resistance. Why? Because I have gradually conditioned her to be comfortable with me touching her. Plus, I'm only doing it when she laughs, so she associates my touch with good feelings (this is called anchoring). At any point along the way if I meet with resistance I back off and go to less invasive touching. This rarely happens though. See, women liked to be touched by men, but only in a way that makes them feel comfortable. So, what you need to do is start small, and slowly work your way up. Then when it comes time to kiss her, it's the natural conclusion to what you've been doing. There's no “move” or anything like that. She feels absolutely comfortable, which is important to women.
While I’m touching her, I’m looking for several “guideposts.” First off, does she return my touch, does she mimic me? If she does, this is a very good sign. Will all women do this? No, but if they do, it’s a sign of higher level attraction. I’ve heard this several times from women: “I won’t touch a guy I’m not attracted to, and I won’t let him touch me.” Every women I’ve ever asked about this has verified it. That’s why I start touching her non-obtrusively… I know this leads to deeper attraction if she accepts it. Another very important thing I listen for is, if she’s using my language in the conversation. If for example, I use the term “friends with benefits” and later on she tells me about a “friend with benefits” she once had, I know she’s extremely attracted to me. If I hear the phrase, “It’s like you said earlier…” I know she has a high level of attraction. Why? Because she’s been paying attention to, and accepting what I have to say… I’ve been “leading her” and she’s been learning from me… which is a way of defining authority. If you use words that are just a little out of the “normal vocabulary” and she starts using them too, she’s very, very attracted. There’s one last “guide post” I look for, and this one is a real “hum dinger.” I’m listening for her to reveal something she only shares with people she really trusts. Why? Because if she reveals it, she really trusts me. Sometimes in conversation she’ll say, “Oh, I really shouldn’t tell you this story…” When I hear that phrase, my ears perk up because I know as soon as she “tells her naughty story” she’s decided to trust me. She wouldn’t trust me if she wasn’t attracted to me. Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll smile my “naughty little boy smile” and say, “Oooo, I just love stories like that… lean in a bit and whisper it to me.” Sometimes they will, sometimes they won’t. If they do, they just plain think you’re “hot stuff.” But if they don’t it’s OK too… I’ll come back to it later, and say, “Now, now it’s not nice to tease.. I believe you have a story to tell me… if you tell me, and it’s a GOOD one, I might be persuaded to tell you one I shouldn’t tell.” They always tell me. They wouldn’t have brought it up if they weren’t going to tell me. But some of them want to see if you can get it out of them, to see if you’re enough of a “bad boy” to bring out their “bad girl” side. Just keep coming back to it and she’ll tell you. As soon as she does, she’s yours if you want her. Now sometimes, she’ll say something a little different than, “I shouldn’t tell you this….” The other things I listen for are, “I rarely share this with anyone..” and “Don’t tell this to anyone else, but….” Really, I’m listening for any phrase that lets me know she’s about to share something with me she only shares with men she trusts. Because once she shares, I know she’s decided to trust me. And once she trusts me, she’s attracted. Simple as that. OK, guys, that’s it for this subject. It really isn’t too difficult: presume all women are attracted to you, and then elicit the “guideposts” just talked about above. No more worrying about if she “likes you or not” or if you need to “read her signals.” If she’s talking to you, she likes you… all you have to do now is create the signals!
Ahhhhh, it’s good to be the King! Have fun guys, and let me know your success stories. Just email them to me at
[email protected] Later, -John Alanis “The King of Let ‘em Come to You” PS Want to discover more great “girl getting secrets?” Check out www.womenapproachyou.com/enter.htm and www.JohnAlanis.com I post my daily emails there, so if you missed an episode or two of wisdom, you can always go to www.JohnAlanis.com to catch up.
