Jean Rhys - Good Morning, Midnight

Jean Rhys - Good Morning, Midnight

PART ONE

Quite like old times,' the room says '!es" No"' There are t#o $eds, a $ig one %or me and a smaller one on the o&&osite side %or monsieur The #ash-$asin is shut o%% $y a urtain (t is a large room, the smell o% hea& hotels %aint, almost im&ere&ti$le The street outside is narro#, o$$le-stoned, going shar&ly u&hill and ending in a %light o% ste&s )hat they all an im&asse ( ha*e $een here %i*e days ( ha*e deided on a &lae to eat in at midday, a &lae to eat in at night, a &lae to ha*e my drink in a%ter dinner ( ha*e arranged my little li%e The &lae to ha*e my drink in a%ter dinner)ait, ( must $e are%ul a$out that These things are *ery im&ortant +ast night, %or instane +ast night #as a atastro&heThe #oman at the net ta$le started talking to me - a dark, thin #oman o% a$out %orty, *ery #ell made u& he had the sore o% a song #ith her and she had $een humming it under her $reath, ta&&ing the aom&animent #ith her %ingers '( like that song' 'Ah, yes, $ut it's a sad song Gloomy unday' he giggled 'A little sad' he #as #aiting %or her %riend, she told me The %riend arri*ed - an Amerian .e stood me another $ randy and soda and #hile ( #as drinking it ( started to ry  ry ( said/ '(t #as something ( remem$ered' The dark #oman sat u& *ery straight and thre# her hest out '( understand,' she said, '( understand All the same ometimes ('m 0ust as unha&&y as you are 1ut that's not to say that ( let e*ery$ody see it' 2na$le to sto& rying, ( #ent do#n do #n into the la*a$o A %amiliar %amiliar la*a$o, and lukily em&ty The old dame #as out ide near the tele&hone, talking to a girl

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( stayed there, staring at mysel% in the glass )hat do ( #ant to ry a$out" On the ontrary, it's #hen l am 3uite sane like this, #hen ( ha*e had a ou&le o% etra drinks and am 3uite sane, that ( reali4e ho# luky ( am a*ed, resued, %ished-u&, hal% dro#ned, out o% the dee&, dark ri*er, dry lothes, hair sham&ooed and set No$ody #ould kno# ( had e*er $een in it Ee&t, o% ourse, that there al#ays remains something !es, !es, there al#ays remains something Ne*er mind, here ( am, sane and dry, #ith my &lae to hide in )hat more do ( #ant" ('m a $it o% an automaton, $ut sane, surely - dry, old and sane No# ( ha*e %orgotten a$out dark streets, dark ri*ers, the &ain, the struggle and the dro#ning Mind you, ('m not talking a$out the struggle #hen you are strong and a good s#immer and there are #illing and eager %riends on the $ank #aiting to &ull you out at the %irst sign o% distress ( mean the real thing !ou 0um& in #ith no #illing and eager %riends around, and #hen you sink you sink to the aom&animent o% loud laughter +a*a$os)hat a$out that monogra&h on la*a$os - toilets - ladies"A +ondon la*a$o in $lak and #hite mar$le, %i%teen #omen in a 3ueue, eah luthing her &enny, not one $old s&irit daring to dash out o% her turn &ast the stern %aed attendant That's #hat ( all disi&lineThe la*a$o in 5lorene and the *ery &retty, %antastially dressed girl #ho rushed in, hugged and kissed the old dame tenderly and %ed her #ith akes out o% a &a&er $ag The daner - daughter"  That osy little Paris la*a$o, #here the attendant &eddled drugs - something to heala #ounded heart )hen ( got u&stairs the Amerian and his %riend had gone '(t #as something ( remem$ered,' ( told the #aiter, and he looked at me $lankly, not e*en $othering to laugh at me .is %ae #as unsur&rised, $lank That #as last night ( lie a#ake, thinking a$out it, and a$out the money idonie lent me and the #ay she said/ '( an't $ear to see you like this' .al% shutting her eyes and smiling the smile #hih means/ 'he's getting to look old he drinks' ')e'*e ')e'*e kno#n eah other o ther too long, asha,' she said, 'to stand on eremony #ith eah e ah other' ( had 0ust ome in %rom my little health stroll round Meklen$urgh 3uare and along the Gray's (nn Road ( had looked at this, ( had looked at that, ( had looked at the &eo&le &assing in the street and at a sho& #indo# %ull o% arti%iial lim$s ( ame in to some$ody #ho said/ '( an't $ear to see you looking like this' '+ike #hat"' ( said '( think you need a hange )hy don't you go $ak to Paris %or a $it"!ou ould get yoursel% some ne# lothes - you ertainly need them('ll lend you the money,' she said '('ll $e o*er there net #eek and ( ould %ind a room %or you i% you like 'Etetera, etetera



























li*ed round the orner, in the Rue =itor->ousin, and Enno $ought me that >ossak a& and the imitation astrakhan oat" (t #as then that ( started alling mysel% asha ( thought it might hange my luk i% ( hanged h anged my name ?id it $ring me any luk, ( #onder, alling mysel% asha" )ass it in 89:@ )a 89 :@ or 89:" ( &ut the light on The $ottle o% E*ian on the $ed ta$le, the tu$e o% luminal, the t#o $ooks, the lok tiking on the ledge, the red urtains ( an see idonie are%ully looking round %or an hotel 0ust like this one he imagines that it's my atmos&here God, it's an insult #hen you ome to think a$out itB More dark rooms, more red urtains 1ut one mustn't &ut e*erything on the same &lane That's her great &hrase And one mustn't &ut e*ery$ody on the same &lane, either O% ourse not And And this is my &lane Quatrieme a gauhe, and mind you don't tri& o*er the hole in the ar&et That's me There are some $lak s&eks on the #all ( stare at them, ertain they are mo*ing )ell, ( ought to $e a$le to ignore a %e# $ugs $y this time '(( ne %aut &as mettre tout sur le meme &lan' ( get u& and look losely Only s&lashes o% dirt (t's not the time o% year %or $ugs, any#ay ( take some more luminal, &ut the light out and slee& at one ( am in the &assage o% a tu$e station in +ondon Many &eo&le are in %ront o% meC many &eo&le are $ehind me E*ery#here there are &laards &rinted in red letters/ This )ay )ay to the Ehi$ition, This )ay to the Ehi$ition 1ut ( don't #ant the #ay to the ehi$ition -( #ant the #ay out There are &assages to the right and &assages to the le%t, $ut no eit sign E*ery#here E*er y#here the %ingers &oint and the &laards read/ This )ay to the Ehi$ition( touh the shoulder o% the man #alking in %ront o% me ( say/ '( #ant the #ay out' 1ut he &oints to the &laards and his hand is made o% steel ( #alk along #ith my head $ent, *ery ashamed, thinking/ 'Just like me - al#ays #anting to $e di%%erent %rom other &eo&le' The steel %inger &oints along a long stone &assage This )ay - This )ay - This )ay to the Ehi$ition No# a little man, $earded, #ith a snu$ nose, dressed in a long #hite nightshirt, is talking earnestly to me '( am your %ather,' he says 'Remem$er that ( am your %ather' 1ut $lood is streaming %rom a #ound in his %orehead 'Murder,' he shouts, 'murder, murder' .el&lessly ( #ath the $lood streaming At last my *oie tears itsel% loose %rom my hest ( too shout/ 'Murder, murder, hel&, hel&,' and the sound %ills the room ( #ake u& and a man in the street outside is singing the #alt4 %rom +es alim-$an3ues '>'est ('amour 3ui %lotte dans l'air a la ronde,' he sings ( $elie*e it's a %ine day, $ut the light in this room is so $ad that you an't $e sure Outside on the landing you an't see at all unless the eletri light is on (t's a large landing, luttered u& %rom



























.e is as thin as a skeleton .e has a $ird-like %ae and sunken, dark eyes #itha &euliar e&ression, ringing, ingratiating, kno#ing )hat's he #ant to look at me like that %or"  .e is al#ays #earing a dressing go#n - a $lue one #ith $lak s&ots or the %amous #hite one ( an't imagine him in street lothes '1on0our' '1on0our,' ( mutter ( don't like this damned man)hen ( get do#nstairs the &atron tells me that he #ants to see my &ass&ort ( ha*en't ha* en't &ut the num$er o% the &ass&ort on the %ihe, he says This &atron is eatly like one o% the assistants #ho used to $e in the &a#nsho& in the Rue de Rennes - the one #ho so#led at you and took your stu%% a#ay to $e *alued A %ish, lording it in his o#n &artiular tank, staring at the #orld outside #ith a glassy and un$elie*ing e ye )hat's #rong #ith the %ihe" ('*e %illed it u& all right, ha*en't (" Name o-and-so, nationality oand-so Nationality - that's #hat has &u44led him ( ought to ha*e &ut nationality $y marriage ( tell him ( #ill let him ha*e the &ass&ort in the a%ternoon and he gi*es my hat a gloomy, disa&&ro*ing look ( don't $lame him (t shouts 'Anglaise', my hat And my dress etinguishes me And then this damned old %ur oat slung on to& o% e*erything else - the last idioy, the last inongruity Ne*er mind, ( ha*e ha* e some money no# ( may $e a$le to do something a$out it T#el*e T#el*e o'lok on a %ine autumn day, and nothing to #orry a$out ome money to s&end and nothing to #orry a$out

1ut are%ul, are%ulB ?on't get eited !ou kno# #hat ha&&ens #hen you get eited and ealted, don't you" !es And then, you kno# ho# you olla&se like a &riked $alloon, don't you" .a*ing no staying &o#er !es, eatly o, no eitement This is going to $e a 3uiet, sane %ortnight Not too muh drinking, a*oidane a*oidane o% ertain ertain a%es, o% ertain ertain streets, o% ertain ertain s&ots, and e*erything e*erything #ill #ill go o%% $eauti%ully The thing is to ha*e a &rogram me, not to lea*e anything to hane - no ga&s No trailing around aimlessly #ith hea& gramo&hone reords starting u& in your head, no '.ere this ha&&ened, here that ha&&ened' A$o*e all, no rying in &u$li, no rying at all i% ( an hel& it Thinking all this, ( &ass the eat &lae %or my a%ter dinner drink (t's a a%e on the A*enue de l'O$ser*atoire, #hih al#ays seems to $e em&ty ( remem$er it like this $e%ore ('ll go in and ha*e a Pernod Just one, 0ust one, %or luk.ere's to the Mirale, ('ll say, to the Mirale



























'!es, li%e isn't easy,' the girl says +ong &ause 'One needs a lot o% ourage, to li*e,' the Ara$ Ara$ says 'Ah, ( $elie*e you,' the girl says, shaking her head and liking her tongue They %inish their *ermouth and go out and ( sit alone in a large, lean, em&ty room and #ath mysel% in the long glass o&&osite, turning o*er the &ages o% an old num$er num$er o% ('llustration, ('llustration, thinking thinking that ( ha*en't ha*en't got a are in the #orld, ee&t that tomorro#'s unday - a di%%iult day any#here om$re ?imanhe Planning it all out Eating A mo*ie Eating again One drink A long #alk $ak to the hotel 1ed +uminal lee& Just slee& - no dreams At %our %our o'l o'lo ok k net net a%te a%tern rnoo oon n ( am in a ine inema ma on the the >ham >ham&s &s Elys Elysee ees, s, aording to &rogramm +aughing heartily in the right &laes (t's a *ery good sho# and ( see it through t#ie )hen ( ome out o% the inema it's night night and the street lam&s are lit ('m glad o% that (% you'*e got to #alk around around $y yoursel%, it's easier #hen the lam&s are ar e lit Pari Pariss is look lookin ing g *ery *ery nie nie toni tonigh ght t ! !o ou are are look lookin ing g *ery *ery nie nie toni tonigh ght, t, my $eauti%ul, my darling, and oh #hat a $ith you an $eB 1ut you didn't kill me a%ter all, did you" And they ouldn't kill me either either Just a$out here #e #aited %or a ou&le o% hours to see Anatole 5rane's %uneral &ass, $eause, Enno said, #e mustn't let suh a great literary %igure disa&&ear #ithout &aying him the tri$ute o% a last salute There #e #ere, hatting hatting a#ay a%%a$ly, a%%a$ly, &aying &aying Anatole Anatole 5rane the tri$ute tri$ute o% a last salu salute te,, and and most most o% the the &eo& &eo&le le #ho #ho &ass &assed ed in the the &ro &roes essi sion on #ere #ere hat hatti ting ng a#ay a%%a$ly too, looking as i% they #ere making dates %or lunhes and dinners, and #e #ere all &aying Anatole 5rane the tri$ute o% a last salute ( #alk along, remem$ering this, remem$ering that, trying to %ind a hea& &lae to eat - not so easy round here The gramo&hone reord is going strong in my head/ '.ere this ha&&ened, here that ha&&ened' ( used to #ork in a sho& 0ust o%% this street



























and then to the right, &utting my oat and hat into the loak-room, going along a &assage and starting in #ith/ #ith/ 'Good morning, morning, madame .as madame a *endeuse"'  (t #as a large #hite and gold room #ith a dark &olished %loor (mitation +ouis Quin4e Quin4e hairs, hairs, &ainted &ainted sreens, sreens, three or %our elongated elongated dolls, $eauti%ully $eauti%ully dressed, dressed, #ith harming and maliious o*al %aes E*ery time a ustomer arri*ed, the ommissionaire touhed a $ell #hih rang 0ust o*er my head ( #ould ad*ane to#ards the three ste&s leading do#n to the street door and stand there, smiling a small, disreet smile ( #ould say 'Good a%te a%tern rnoo oon, n, mada madame me - >ert >ertai ainl nly y, mada madame me,' ,' or 'Goo 'Good d a%te a%tern rnoo oon, n, mada madame me Mademoiselle Meredes has had your tele&hone message and e*erything is ready,' or '>ertainly, madame madame .as madame a *endeuse" Then ( #ould ondut the ustomer to the %loor a$o*e, #here the real ati*ities o% the sho& #ere arried on, and all %or Mademoiselle Meredes or Mademoiselle .enriette or Madame Perron, as the ase might $e (% ( %orgot a %ae or allotted a ne# ustomer to a sales#oman out o% her turn, there #as a ro# There #as no li%t in this sho& That's Tha t's #hy ( #as there (t #as one o% those dress houses still #ith a ertain &restige - anyho# among the 5renh - $ut its ustomers #ere getting %e#er and %e#er ( had had the 0o$ %or three #eeks (t #as dreary !ou ouldn't readC they didn't like it ( #ould %eel as i% ( #ere drugged, sitting there, #athing those damned dolls, thinking #hat a suess they #ould ha*e made o% their li*es i% they had $een #omen atin skin, silk hair, *el*et eyes, sa# dust heart - all om&lete ( used to en*y the ommissionaire, $eause at least he ould #ath the &eo&le &assing in the street On the other hand, he had to stand u& all the time !es, &erha&s ( had rather $e mysel% than the ommissionaire There #as al#ays a *ery strong smell o% sent ( #ould &retend that ( ould reogni4e the *arious sents Today it's +'.eure 1leueC yesterday it #as Nuits de >hineThe &lae also smelt o% the &olish on the %loor, the old %urniture, %urniture, the dolls' lothes The sho& had a $ranh in +ondon, and the $oss o% the +ondon $ranh had $ought u& the #hole sho# E*ery three months or so he ame o*er to the 5renh &lae and it #as rumoured that he #as due to arri*e on a ertain day )hat's he like" Oh, he's the real English ty&e =ery nie, *ery, *ery hi, there al English ty&e, le $usiness man( thought/ 'Oh, my God, ( kno# no# #hat these &eo&le mean #hen they say the real English ty&e' .e arri*es 1o#ler hat, ma0esti trousers, oh-my-God e&ression, ha-ha eyes D ( kno# him at one .e omes u& the ste&s #ith al*atini $ehind him, looking *ery #orried 6al*atini is the





























No use .e omes u& to my ta$le 'Good morning, good morning, Miss-' 'Mrs Jansen,' al*atini says hall ( stand u& or not stand u&" tand u&, o% ourse ( stand u& 'Good morning' ( smile at him 'And ho# many languages do you s&eak"' .e seems 3uite &leased .e smiles $ak at me A%%a$le, that's the #ord ( su&&ose that's #hy ( think it's a 0oke 'One,' ( say, and go on smiling No#, #hat's #hat's ha&&ened"Oh, o% ourse '( understand 5renh 3uite #ell' .e %idgets #ith the $uttons on his oat '( #as told that the ree&tionist s&oke 5renh and German %luently,' he says to al*atini 'he s&eaks 5renh,' al*atini says 'Asse4 $ien, asse4 $ien' Mr 1lank looks at me #ith li%ted eye$ro#s 'ometimes,' ( say idiotially O% ourse, sometimes, #hen ( am a $it drunk and am talking to some$ody ( like and kno#, ( s&eak 5renh *ery %luently indeed At other times ( 0ust s&eak it And as to that, my dear sir, you'*e got e*erything all #rong ('m here $eause ( ha*e a %riend #ho kno#s Mr al*atini's mistress, and Mr al*atini's mistress s&oke to Mr al*atini a$out me, and the day that he sa# me ( #asn't looking too $ad and he #as in a good mood Nothing at all to do #ith %luent 5renh and German, dear sir, nothing at all ('m here $eause ('m here $eause ('m here And 0ust to &ro*e to you that ( s&eak 5renh, ('ll sing youa little song a$out it/ 'i





























'Oh, really, you #orked %or >hose, did you" !ou !ou #orked %or >hose' .is *oie is more res&et%ul ')ere ')ere you ree&tionist there"' 'No,' ( say '( #orked as a manne3uin' '!ou '!ou #orked as a manne3uin"' ?o#n and u& his eyes go, u& and do#n '.o# long ago #as this"' he says .o# long ago #as it" No#, e*erything is a $lank in my head - years, days, hours, e*erything is a $lank in my head .o# long ago #as it" ( don't kno# '5our, nearly %i*e, years ago' '.o# long did you stay there"' 'A$out three months,' ( say .e seems to $e #aiting %or %urther in%ormation 'And then ( le%t,' ( say in a high *oie 6?eidedly this is one o% my good days This is one o% the days #hen ( say e*erything right7 'Oh, you le%t"' '!es, +e%t' !es, my dear sir, ( le%t ( got $ored and ( #alked out on them 1ut that #as %our, nearly %i*e, years ago and a lot an ha&&en in %i*e years ( ha*en't the slightest intention o% #alking out on you, ( an assure you o% that And ( ho&e you ha*en't the slightest intention o% - And 0ust the thought that you may ha*e this lightest intention o% - makes my hands go old and my heart $eat '.a*e you #orked any#here else sine then"' ')ell, ')ell, no No, ( ha*en't' '( see,' he says .e #a*es $ak#ards and %or#ards like a tall tree that is going to %all on me Then





























'>ome along, mother, do let's go ?on't $e silly, silly, mother !ou !ou #on't %ind anything here' There is a long glass $et#een the t#o #indo#s The old lady om&laently tries things on her $ald head The daughter's eyes meet mine in the mirror ?amned old hag, isn't she %unny"  ( stare $ak at her oldly ( #ill say %or the old lady that she doesn't are a damn a$out all this he &oints to *arious things and says/ 'ho# me that - sho# me that' A sturdy old lady #ith gay, $old eyes he tried on a hair-$and, a &anish om$, a %lo#er A green %eather #a*es o*er her $ald head he is alm and om&letely unonerned he #as like a Roman em&eror in that last thing she tried on 'Mother, &lease ome a#ay ?o let's go' The old lady doesn't take the slightest notie, and she has e*erything out o% $oth o% the ases $e%ore she goes Then/ ')ell,' ')ell,' she says, '('m *ery sorry ('m so sorry to ha*e gi*en you so muh trou$le' '(t's no trou$le at all, madame' As they go to#ards the door the daughter $ursts out A loud, %iere hiss/ ')ell, you made a &er%et %ool o% yoursel%, as usual !ou'*e had e*ery$ody in the sho& sniggering (% you #ant to do this again, you'll ha*e to do it $y yoursel% ( re%use, ( re%use' The old lady does not ans#er ( an see her %ae re%leted in a mirror, her eyes still undaunted $ut something a$out her mouth and hin olla&sing Oh, $ut #hy not $uy her a #ig, se*eral deent dresses, as muh ham&agne as she an drink, all the things she likes to eat and oughtn't to, a gigolo i% she #ants one" One last %lare-u&, and she'll $e dead in si months at the outside That's all you're #aiting %or, isn't it" 1ut no, you must ha*e the slo# death, the $lood less killing that lea*es no stain on your onsiene ( &ut the ornaments $ak in the ases slo#ly, are%ully, are%ully, 0ust as they #ere





























al*atini &uts his head out o% the door $ehind me and says/ 'Mr 1lank #ants to see you' ( at one make u& my mind that he #ants to %ind out i% ( an s&eak German All the little German ( kno# %lies %lies out o% my head Jesus, hel& meB Ja, 0a, nein, nein, #as kostet es, )ien )ien ist eine sehr shone tadt, 1uda-Pest auh ist sehr shon, ist shon, mein .err, ih ha$e meinen 1lumen *ergessen, aus meinen grossen hmer4en, homo homini lu&us, aus meinen grossen hmer4en mah ih die kleinen +ieder, homo homini lu&us 6('*e got that one, any#ay7, aus meinen grossen hmer4enhomo homini doh re mi %ah soh la ti doh .e is sitting at the desk, #riting a letter ( stand there .e is sure to notie ho# sha$$y my shoes are al*atini looks u&, gi*es me a %urti*e smile and then looks a#ay again >ome on, stand straight, kee& your head u&, smile No, don't smile (% you smile, he'll think you're trying to get o%% #ith him ( kno# this ty&e .e #on't gi*e me the $ene%it o% a shado# o% a dou$t ?on't smile then, $ut look eager, alert, attent attenti*e i*e Run Run out o% the door and get a#ay a#ay! !o ou %ool, %ool, stand stand straig straight, ht, look look eager, eager, alert, alert, attenti*eNo, look here, he's doing this on &ur&oseO% ourse he isn't doing it on &ur&ose .e's 0ust #riting a letter.e is, he is .e's doing it on &ur&ose ( kno# it, ( %eel it ('*e $een standing here %or %i*e minutes This is im&ossi$le '?id you #ish to see me, Mr 1lank"' .e looks u& and says shar&ly/ '!es, yes, #hat is it" )hat do you #ant" )ait a minute, #ait a minute' At one ( kno# .e doesn't #ant me to talk German, he's going to gi*e me the sak All right then, hurry u&, get it o*er Nothing ( 0ust stand there No# &ani has ome on me My hands are shaking, my heart is thum&ing, my hands are old 5ly, %ly, run %rom these atroious *oies, these a$omina$le eyes





























#orkrooms and o%%ies and do4ens o% small rooms, &assages that don't lead any#here, ste&s going u& and ste&s going do#n ise - kise(t doesn't mean a thing to me .e's got me into suh a state that ( an't imagine #hat it an mean No#, no &ani This This en*elo&e must ha*e a name on it Monsieur + Grousset ome#here in this $uilding is a Monsieur + Grousset ( ha*e got to take this letter to him Easy ome$ody #ill tell me #here his room is Grousset, Grousset ( turn to the right, #alk along another &assage, do#n a light o% stairs The #orkroomsNo, ( an't ask here All the girls #ill stare at me ( shall seem suh a %ool ( try another &assage (t ends in a la*atory The num$er o% la*atories in this &lae, 'est inoui( turn the orner, %ind mysel% $ak in the original &assage and ollide #ith a strange young man .e gi*es me a nasty look '>ould you tell me, &lease, #here ( an %ind Monsieur Grousset"' '>onnais &as,' the young man says A%ter this it $eomes $eomes a nightmare nightmare ( #alk u& stairs, stairs, &ast doors, along &assages- all di%%erent, di%%erent, all eatly alike There is something *ery urgent that ( must do 1ut ( don't meet a soul and all the doors are shut This an't go on hall ( thro# the damned thing a#ay a#a y and %orget all a$out it" ')hat you must do is this,' ( tell mysel%/ '!ou must go $ak and say - 3uite almly - F('m *ery sorry, $ut ( didn't understand #here you #anted me to take this noteF ( knok .e alls out/ '>ome in' ( go in .e takes the note %rom my hand .e looks at me as i% ( #ere a dog #hih had &resented him #ith a *ery, *ery old $one 6ay something, say something7































That is to say, ( kne# this morning #here the ashier's o%%ie is (t isn't so %ar %rom the &lae #here #e &ut our hats and oats 1ut ( don't kno# a damned thing no#Run, run a#ay %rom their eyes, run %rom their *oies, run )e stare at eah other ( $reathe in dee&ly and $reathe out again 'Etraordinary,' he says, *ery slo#ly, '3uite etra ordinary God kno#s ('m used to %ools, $ut this om&lete om&lete im$eility im$eilityThi Thiss #oman is the $iggest $iggest %ool ('*e e*er met in my li%e he seems to $e hal%-#itted he's ho&eless)ell, ho&eless)ell, isn't she"' he says to al*atini al*atini makes a rolling mo*ement o% his head, shoulders and eyes, #hih means/ '( 3uite agree #ith you ?e&lora$le, de&lora$le' Also/ 'he's not so $ad as you think' Also/ 'Oh, my God, #hat's #hat's all this this a$out" a$out" )hat )hat a day, day, #hat a day day )hen )hen #ill #ill it $e o*er"' o*er"' Anyt Anythin hing g you like, like, al*atini's shrug means Not to ry in %ront o% this man Tout, mais &as a ay somethingNo, don't say anything an ything Just #alk out o% the room 'No, #ait a minute,' he says '!ou'd $etter take that note along !ou do kno# #ho to take it to no#, don't you" The ashier' '!es' .e stares at me omething else has ome into his eyes .e kno#s ho# ( am %eeling - yes, he kno#s 'Just a ho&eless, hel&less little %ool, aren't you"' he says































No# the irle is om&lete No#, strangely strangely enough, ( am no longer a%raid o% Mr 1lank .e is one thing and ( am another .e kne# me right a#ay, as soon as he ame in at the door And ( kne# him ( go into the other room, this time #ithout knoking al*atini has gone Mr 1lank is still #riting letters (s he making dates #ith all the girls he kn o#s in Paris" ( $et that's #hat he is doing .e looks at me #ith distaste Plat du 0our - $oiled eyes, ser*ed old )ell, let's argue this out, Mr 1lank !ou, #ho re&resent oiety, ha*e the right to &ay me %our hundred %rans a month That's my market *alue, %or ( am an ine%%iient mem$er o% oiety, slo# in the u&take, unertain, slightly damaged in the %ray, there's no denying it o you ha*e the right to &ay me %our hundred %rans a month, to lodge me in a small, dark room, to lothe me sha$$ily, to harisma #ith #orry and monotony and unsatis%ied longings till you get me to the &oint #hen ( $lush at a look, ry at a #ord )e an't all $e ha&&y, ha&&y, #e an't all $e rih, #e an't all $e luky - and it #ould $e so muh less %un i% #e #ere (sn't it so, Mr 1lank" There must $e $ e the dark $akground to sho# u& the $right olors ome must ry so that the others may $e a$le to laugh the more heartily ari%ies are neessary+et's say that you ha*e this mystial right to ut my legs o%% 1ut the right to ridiule me a%ter#ards $eause ( am a ri&&le - no, that ( think you ha*en't got And that's the right you hold most dearly, isn't it" !ou must $e a$le to des&ise the &eo&le you e&loit 1ut ( #ish you a lot o% trou$le, Mr 1lank, and 0ust to start o%% #ith, yours damned sho&'s going $ust AlleluiaB ?id ( say all this" O% ourse ( didn't ( didn't e*en think it ( say that ('m ill and #ant to go 6Get it in %irst7 And he says he 3uite agrees that it #ould $e































')hat deliious saueB' They ha*e a third hel&ing Their eyes are s#imming The daughter's eyes say '>ertainly, ertainly'C the mother's eyes say 'Perha&s, &erha&s' '(t is strange ho# sad it an $e $ e - sunlight in the a%ternoon, don't you think"' '!es,' ( say, 'it an $e sad' 1ut the so%tened mood doesn't last he has o%%ee and a glass o% #ater and is hersel% again No# she #ants to $e taken to the ehi$ition o% +oie 5uller materials, and she #ants to $e taken to the &lae #here they sell that German amera #hih an't $e got any#here else outside Germany, and she #ants to $e taken to a &lae #here she an $uy a hat #hih #ill e&ater e*ery$ody she kno#s and yet $e easy to #ear, and on to& o% all this she #ants to $e taken to a ertain ehi$ition o% &itures 1ut she doesn't remem$er the man's name and she isn't sure #here the ehi$ition is .o#e*er, she kno#s that she #ill reogni4e the name #hen she hears it ( try ( 3uestion #aiters, old ladies in la*a$os, girls in sho&s They all res&ond There is a %ree masonry among those #ho &rey u&on the rih ( manage e*erything, ee&t &erha&s the hat 1ut she sa# through me he only ga*e me t#enty %rans %or a ti& and ( ne*er got another 0o$ as guide %rom the Amerian E&ress That #as my %irst and last ( try, $ut they al#ays see through me The &assages #ill ne*er lead any#here, the doors #ill al#ays $e shut ( kno#































No#, 3uiet, 3uietThis is going to $e a nie sane %ortnight 'Quiet, 3uiet,'( say to the lok #hen ( am #inding it u&, and it makes a noise $et#een a $elh and a giggle The $athroom here is on the ground %loor ( lie in the $ath, listening to the &atronne talking to a lient .e says he #ants a room %or a young lady %riend o% his Not at one, he is 0ust looking around 'A room" A nie room"' ( #ath okroahes ra#ling %rom underneath the ar&et and ra#ling $ak again There is a lo#ered ar&et in this $athroom, t#o old armhairs and a huge #ardro$e #ith a s&otted mirror 'A nie room"' O% ourse, une $elle ham$re, the lient #ants The &atronne says she has a *ery $eauti%ul room on the seond %loor, #hih #ill $e *aant in a$out a month's mon th's time That's the #ay it is, that's the #ay it goes, that #as the #ay it #entA room A nie room A $eauti%ul room A $eauti%ul room #ith $ath A *ery $eauti%ul room #ith $ath A $edroom and sitting room #ith $ath 2& to the di44y heights o% the suite T#o $edrooms, sitting room, $ath and *esti$ule 6The small $edroom is in ase you don't %eel like me, or in ase you meet some$ody you like $etter and ome in late7 Anything you #ant $rought u& on the dinner #agon 61ut, alasB the #aiter has a louse on his ollar )hat is that on his ollar" 1itte shon, mein .err, $itte shon7 #ing highNo#, h ighNo#, slo#ly, slo#ly, do#n A $eauti%ul room #ith $ath A room #ith $ath A nie room A room No#, #hat are they saying" 'Marthe, montre4 le numero dou4e' And the &rie" 5our hundred































( ha*e 0ust %inished dressing #hen there is a knok on the door (t's the ommis, in his $eauti%ul dressing go#n, immaulately #hite, #ith long, #ide, hanging slee*es ( #onder ho# he got hold o% it ome #oman must ha*e gi*en it to him .e stands there smiling his silly smile ( stare at him .e looks like a &riest, the &riest o% some o$sene, hal%-understood religion At last ( manage/ ')ell, ')ell, #hat is it" )hat do you #ant" 'Nothing' he says, 'nothing' 'Oh, go a#ay' a#ay' .e doesn't ans#er or mo*e .e stands in the door#ay, smiling 6No# then, you and ( understand eah other, don't #e" +et's sto& &retending7 ( &ut my hand on his hest, &ush him $ak#ards and $ang the door (t's 3uite easy (t's like &ushing a &a&er man, a ghost, something that doesn't eist And there ( am in this dim room #ith the $ed %or madame and the $ed %or monsieur and the narro# street outside 6#hat they all an im&asse7, thinking o% that #hite dressing go#n, like a &riest's ro$es 5rightened as hell A nightmare %eeling This morning the hall smells like a *ery hea& Turkish $ath in +ondon - the sort o% &lae that is got u& to look res&eta$le and lean outside, the &assage *ery antise&ti and the #oman #ho meets meets you a ross ross $et#ee $et#een n a &rison &rison #ardre #ardress ss and adeaon adeaoness ess,, and e*ery$ e*ery$ody ody s&eaki s&eaking ng in #his&ering *oies #ith lo#ered eyes/ '5oamor Turkish, madam"' And then you go do#n into the

































A light room"' the lady says &ensi*ely he turns o*er the &ages o% her $ooks, looking %or a light room )e ha*e num$er :89,' she says 'A $eauti%ul room #ith $ath e*enty %i*e %rans a night' 6God, ( an't a%%ord that7 '(t's a *ery $eauti%ul room #ith $ath T#o #indo#s =ery light,' she says &ersuasi*ely A girl is alled to sho# me the room As #e are a$out to start %or the li%t, the young man says, s&eaking out o% the side o% his mouth 'O% ourse you kno# that num$er :89 is ou&ied' 'Oh no Num$er :89 had his $ill the day $e%ore yesterday,' the ree&tionist says '( remem$er ( ga*e it to him mysel%' ( listen aniously to this on*ersation uddenly ( %eel that ( must ha*e num$er :89, #ith $ath num$er :89, #ith rose olored urtains, ar&et and $ath ( shall eist on a di%%erent &lane at

































A $eauti%ul room #ith $ath" A room #ith $ath" A nie room" A room"1ut ne*er tell the truth a$out this $usiness o% rooms, $eause it #ould $ust the roo% o% e*erything and undermine the #hole soial system All rooms are the same All rooms ha*e %our #alls, a door, a #indo# or t#o, a $ed, a hair and &erha&s a $idet A room is a &lae #here you hide %rom the #ol*es outside and that's all any room is )hy should ( #orry a$out hanging my room" )hen ( get $ak to the hotel a%ter ( ha*e had something to eat, it looks all right and smells as res&eta$le as you &lease ( imagined it all, ( imagined e*erythingome$ody's Times +iterary u&&lement &ee&s oyly %rom the letter-rak A #hite-haired Amerian lady and a girl #ho looks like her daughter are talking in the hall '+ook here, look at this .ere's a &ortrait o% Rim$aud Rim$aud li*ed here, it sa ys' And here's =erlaine?id =erlaine?id he li*e here too"'

































%loor )e s3uinted in at them through the #indo#s ')ould you like to go in and ha*e a look at them"' he said, as i% he #ere ehi$iting a lot o% monkeys '(t's all right, #e an go in - the ha& here kno#s me There's one %ello# #ho is usually here (% you stand him a %e# drinks and get him really going he tries to eat his glass (t's *ery urious !ou !ou ought to see that' )hen ( said/ 'Not %or anything on earth,' he thought ( had gone shy or sentimental ')ell,' ( said, 'all right ('ll #ath you eating a glass #ith &leasure' .e didn't like that at all ( arri*e thinking o% this $oy, and sre# mysel% u& to go into a room %ull o% &eo&le 1ut the &lae is em&ty - dead as a door-nail There is a ne# &ro&rietor - a %at, $ald man #ith a ?uth nose .e has only $een here %or t#o years, he tells me The s&eiality no# is Ja*anese %ood, and the English hunting-senes on the #alls look *ery eotiTally-ho, tally-ho, tally-ho, a-hunting #e #ill goThe old, lear *oies, the old, light eyesTally-ho, eyesTally-ho, tally-ho, tally-ho

































(t's so like him, ( thought, thought, that he re%uses re%uses to all me asha, or e*en o&hie No, it's o&hia, %ull and grand )hy didn't you dro#n yoursel% in the eine, o&hia"'o&hia #ent do#n #here the ri*er %lo#ed - )ild, #ild o&hiaF )ell, that #as the end o% me, the real end T#o &ound ten e*ery Tuesday and a room o% the Gray's (nn Road a*ed, resued and #ith my &lae to hide in - #hat more did ( #ant" ( re&t in and hid The lid o% the o%%in shut do#n #ith a $ang No# ( no longer #ish to $e lo*ed, $eauti%ul, ha&& y or suess%ul ( #ant one thing and one thing only - to $e le%t alone No more &a#ings, no more &ryings - lea*e me aloneThey'll do that all right, my dear dea r77 'At %irst ( #as a%raid they #ould let gates $ang on my hind3uarters, and ( used to $e ner*ous o% unkno#n &eo&le and &laes' Quotation %rom The Auto$iogra&hy o% a Mare - one o% my %a*ourite $ooks)e English are so animal onsious )e kno# so instinti*ely #hat the reatures %eel

































The three &eo&le at the net ta$le are talking a$out horse raing The t#o men are ?uth ( get a &enil out o% my $ag ( #rite in a orner o% the menu 'As-tu om&ris" i, 0'ai om&ris ( ho&e you got that !es, !es, ( got it' ( %old the menu u& and an d &utit in my $ag A little sou*enir The door o&ens 5i*e >hinese ome in They #alk do#n to the end o% the room in single %ile and stand there, talking Then they all %ile solemnly out again, smiling &olitely The &ro&rietor mutters %or a $it Then he &retends to arrange the %orks and kni*es on a ta$le near $y, and tells us that $e%ore they ordered drinks they #anted to see the %ire lighted in the o&en grate, #hih is &art o% the old English atmos&here They #anted to see the %lames dane 5or a long time, he says, he has kno#n that e*ery$ody in Mont&arnasse is mad, $ut this is the last stra# 'Tous 'Tous &i3ues,' he says, #ith suh an aent o% des&air, 'tous dingo, tous, tous, tousF

( am not at all sad as ( #alk $ak to the hotel )hen )hen ( remem$er remem$er



































says they are Russians )hen ( hear that ( at one ae&t their o%% o%%er to go and ha*e ha*e a drin drink k +es Russe ussess - that that'l 'lll #ind #ind u& the e*ening nielyL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThere are t#o a%es



































The short man must $e the more #orldly-#iseC the other one is like me - he has his %eelings and stiks to them .e is the one #ho aosted meL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'( %eel a great sadness in



































%our o'lokL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThey ondut me to the door o% my hotel The younger one remem$ers that ( ha*e le%t my menu $ehind - ( had $een sho#ing it to them, the skethes o% the



































her &late he &rongs a $it #ith her %ork and &uts it into her om&anion's mouth .e eats, registers &leasure as hard as he an, &rods round %or the $est $it on his &late and %eeds her #ith



































at me 'Ah, those #ere the days,' he saysL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Et 3u'est-e 3u'elle %out ii, maintenant "' the tall girl says, loudly L&arL&ard Lhy&h&arNo# e*ery$ody in the room is staring at meC















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































use o% arguing #ith him"( agree #ith e*erything A 3ueen, a &riness - that's somethingL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)hen he asks i% ( an meet him again/ ')ell, ('ll try,' ( say '1ut ('m *ery muh ou&ied'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( an't stand this $usiness o% not $eing a$le to ha*e #hat ( #ant to drink, drink , $eause he #on't allo# me to &ay &ay and and ert ertai ainl nly y does doesn' n'tt #ant #ant to &ay &ay him himsel% sel% (t' (t's too #earingL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'('m lea*ing Paris net #eek ooner than ( thought'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)ill ( let him kno# #hen ( am going, so that he an ome to the Gare du Nord tosee me o%"L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'!es, &lease do (t #ould $e so nie i% you #ould (t's sad to go a#ay %rom a &lae #ith no$ody to tell tell you goodgood-$ye $ye'' L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar) r)he hen n ( am $ak $ak in my room room ( star startt #orr #orryi ying ng a$ou a$outt him him and and the the mone money y he has has s&enton me And then ( think/ '( $et he'll get his &erentage on that si hundred %rans Or &erha&s he #on't hand the money o*er at all' This idea makes me laugh all the time ( am undress undressing ing L&a L&arr L&ard L&ard Lhy&h&a Lhy&h&ar) r)aandering ndering a$out a$out the narro# narro# streets near the PantheonL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar(t starts to rain L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( go into a ta$a The #oman at the $ar gi*es me one o% those looks/ )hat do you #ant here, you" )e don' don'tt ate aterr %or %or tour touris ists ts here here,, not not our our lie lient ntel ele e ) )eell, ll, dear dear madame, to tell you the truth, #hat ( #ant here is a drink - ( rather think t#o, &erha&s threeL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar(t is old and dark outside, and e*erything has gone out o% me ee&t misery miseryL&ar L&ar L&ard L&ard Lhy&h&a Lhy&h&ar'A r'A Pernod, Pernod,'' ( say to the #aiter #aiter  L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.e looks at me in a sly, amused #ay #hen he $rin $rings gs it itL L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar arGo God, d, it's it's %unn %unny y, $ein $eing g a #omanB And the other one - the one $ehind the $ar - isshe going



























L&ard Lhy&h&ar)ell, that's O, here madame, and *ery niely done done too too !ou'*e u'*e said said noth nothin ing g $ut $ut you' you'*e *e said said it all all Ne*e Ne*er r mind, her ( am and here ('m going to stayL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar1ehi Lhy&h&ar1ehind nd my ta$le is a door door Toilett Toilette e - they needn't ha*e said so And then another, smaller door er*ie ( hear noises o% #ashing u& going on $ehind this doorL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arA%ter a #hile a girl omes out, #ith a tray &iled #ith lean glasses glasses he lea*es the the door o&en (nside, a sink, a ta& and more dirty glasses and &lates, #aiting to $e #ashed There is 0ust room %or the girl to stand An un$elie*a$le smell omes %rom the sinkL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&are &asses me #ithout looking at me 1are, sturdy legs, %elt sli&&ers, a $lak dress, a %ilthy a&ron, thik, urly, untidy hair ( kno# her This is the girl #ho does all the the dirt dirty y #ork #ork and and gets gets &aid &aid litt little le %or %or it it alu alut t L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h&arhe goes into the room $ehind the $ar, &uts the glasses do#n, #alks $ak to theu&$oard and shuts hersel% in .o# does she manage not to knok her el$o#s e*ery time she mo*es" .o# an she stay in that o%%in %or %i*e minutes #ith #ithou outt %ain %ainti ting ng" "  or orry ry %or %or her her" )hy shoul hould d ( $e sorr sorry y %or her" .asn't she got sturdy legsand urly hair" And don't her strong hands sing the Marseillaise" And #hen the re*olution omes, #on't those $e the hands to $e kissed" )ell, so Monsieur Rim$aud says, doesn't he" ( ho&e he's right ( #onder though, ( #onder, ( #onderL&ar #onderL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( Lhy &h&ar( all the #aiter, to &ay ( gi*e him a large ti& .e looks at it, says 'Meri', and then 'Meri $eaou&' ( ask him to tell me the #ay to the nearest ine inema ma This This,, o% our ourse se,, - aris arises es %rom %rom a rin ringi ging ng desi desire re to e&lain my &resene in the &lae ( only ame in here to in3uire



























e les autres - that's $een my motto all my li%e 5aites omme les autres, damn youL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arAnd a lot he ares - ( ould ha*e s&ared mysel% the trou$le 1ut this is my attitude to li%e li%e Please Please,, &lease &lease,, monsieu monsieurr et madame madame,, mister mister,, missis missis and miss, ( amtrying so hard to $e like you ( kno# ( don't sueed, $ut look ho# hard ( tryThree tryThree hours to hoose a hatC e*ery morning an hour and a hal% trying to make mysel% look like e*ery$ody else E*ery #ord ( say has hains round its anklesC e*ery thought ( think is #eighted #ith hea*y #eights ine ( #as #as $orn $orn,, hasn hasn''t e*e e*ery #ord #ord ('*e ('*e said, aid, e*er e*ery y thou though ghtt ('*e ('*e thought, e*erything ('*e done, $een tied u&, #eighted, hained" And, mind you, ( kno# that #ith all this ( don't sueed Or ( sueed in %lashes only too damned #ell1ut think ho# hard ( try and ho# seldom ( dare Think - and ha*e a $it o% &ity That is, i% you e*er think, you a&es, #hih ( dou$t No# the #aiter has has %ini %inish shed ed tell tellin ing g me ho# ho# to get get to the the near neares estt ine inema ma  L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Another Pernod,' ( sayL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.e $rings it .e %ills my glass almost to the $rim, &erha&s in antii&ation o% another ti&, &erha&s $eause he #ants to see me drunk as soon as &ossi$le, or &erha&s $eause the $ottle sli&&edL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe girl omes out #ith the last lot o% glasses ('m glad (t has 0ust ourredto me that i% ( #eren't here the door o% her o%%in might $e ke&t o&en Might $e Not that ( #ould ha*e gone a#ay i% it had ourred to me $e%ore )hy should (" The hands that sing the Marseillaise, the #orld that ould $e so di%%erent - #hat's all that to me" )hat an ( do a$out it" Nothing ( don't deei*e mysel%L&ar L&ard



























kno# #hat ( am ('m a #oman ome in here to get drunk That ha&&ens sometimes They ha*e a dink, these #omen, and then they ha*e another and then they start rying silently And then they go into the la*a$o and then they ome out - &o#dered, $ut #ith hollo# eyes - and, head do#n, slink into the street L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Poor #oman, she has tears in her eyes' L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar')hat do you e&et" Elle a $u'L&ar L&ard Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar arTh That at's 's it, it, her heree mada madame me,, ('m ('m drun drunk k ( ha*e ha*e drun drunk k Ther There' e'ss noth nothin ing g to $e done done a$ou a$outt it no# no# ( ha*e ha*e drun drunk k 1ut 1ut other#ise 3uiet, %ear%ul, tamed, &re&ared to gi*e $ig ti&s 6('ll gi*e a $ig ti& i% you'll lea*e me alone7 1on, $ien, $ien, $on L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arometimes some$ody omes in %or stam&s, or a man %or a drink Then you an see outside into the street And the street #alks in (t is one one o% those streets - dark, &o#er%ul, magialL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Oh, there you are,' it says, #alking in at the door, 'there you are )here ha*e you $een all this long time"'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arNo$ody else kno#s me, $ut the street kno#s meL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'And there you are,' ( say, %inishing my Pernod and rather drunk 'alut, salutB' 61ut sometimes it #as sunny)alking along in the sun in a gay dress, stri&ed red and $luei #on't #alk along that that stre street et agai again7 n7 L& L&ar ar L&ard L&ard Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &arT rThe he >ine >inema ma ?ant ?anton on )athi thing ng a good good youn young g man man tryi trying ng to res resue ue his his em&l em&loy oyer er %roma merenary mistress The em&loyer is a gay, $ad old $oy #ho #ho manu manu%a %at tur ures es toil toilet et arti artil les es The The good good youn young g man man has has the a#k#ardness, the smugness, the shyness, the &athos o% good young young men men .e inte interr rru&t u&tss intim intimat atee on*e on*ers rsat atio ions ns,, knok knokin ing g loudly, $inging in letters and &arels, etetera, etetera At last



























L&ar L&ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy& hy&h&a h&arThe rThe %il %ilm goes goes on and and on on A%te A%terr many any *iissitudes des, the good you young man is trium&h um&haant .e has has &ermission to &ro&ose to his em&loyer's daughter .e is #aiting on the $ank o% a large &ond, #ith a ring that he is going to o%%er her ready in his #aistoat &oket .e takes it out to make sure that he has it Mad #ith ha&&iness, he strides u& and do#n the shores o% the &ond, gestiulating .e makes too #ild a gesture The ring lies %rom his hand into the middle o% the &ond .e takes o% his trousersC he #ades out .e has to get the ring $akC he must get it $ak

L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arEatly the sort o% thing that ha&&ens to me ( laugh till the tears ome into my eyes .o#e*er, the %ilm sho#s ho#s no sign signss o% sto&& to&&in ing, g, so ( get get u& and and go out outL L&a &ar r L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar arAn Anot othe herr Perno ernod d in the the $ar $ar net net door door to the inema ( sit at a orner ta$le and si& it res&eta$ly, #ith lo#ered eyes Je suis une %emme on*ena$le, 0ust ome out o% the nearest inem nema No# ( really am O, here madam dame (% ( ha*e a $ottleo% 1ordeau at dinner ('ll $e almost as drunk as ('d ho&ed to $eL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThere is a letter %rom le &eintre at the hote hotel l .e says ays he is *ery *ery sorry orry he didn didn''t turn urn u& the the othe other r e*ening - il %aut m'euser .e says ?elmar has handed o*er the si hundred %rans, and he thanks me .e says that i% ( don't like the $onhomme, i% ( %ind him too sad, he #ill hange him %or one o% the landsa&es or %or anything else ( #ant and that he #ill try to get to the Gare du Nord to say aure*oir to me 6( $et he #on' #on't7 t7,, and and he is my %rie %riend nd,, er erge Ru$i Ru$in n LL&ar &ar L&ard &ard





























little mad .e stares at me .e is dou$le-headed, dou$le-%aed .e is singing '(t has $een', singing '(t #ill $e' ?ou$le-headed and #ith %our arms( stare $ak at him and think a$out$eing hungry, $eing old, $eing hurt, $eing ridiuled, as i% it #ere in anotherli%e than thisL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThis damned room it's saturated #ith the &as(t's all the rooms ('*e e*er sle&t in, all the streets ('*e e*er #alked in No# the #hole thing mo*es in an ordered, ordered, undulating &roession &ast my eyes Rooms, streets, streets, streets, roomsL&ar roo msL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arPART Lhy&h&arPART T.REEL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe room at the teens'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar(t #as ro#ded #ith red &lush %urniture, the #ood shining $rightly There #ere se*eral *ases o% tuli&s and t#o ages #ith anaries, and there #ere t#o loks, eah trying to tik louder than the othe otherr The The #ind #indo# o#ss #ere #ere near nearly ly al#a al#ays ys shut shut,, $ut $ut the the room room #asn #asn't 't must musty y )hen hen the door door into into the the sho& sho& #as #as o&en o&en you you oul ould d smel smelll drug drugss and and eau eau-de-de-> >olog ologne ne On a ta$l ta$lee at the the $ak there #as a $ig &ot o% tea o*era s&irit-lam& The little $lue light made it look like an altarL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar(n that room you ouldn't think, you ouldn't make &lans Just the #ay the lo loks ks tik tiked ed,, and and outs outsid idee the the lea lean, n, narr narro# o# stree treetts, and and the others talking ?uth and ( listening, not understanding (t #as like $eing a hild again, listening and thinking o% something





























go $ak'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( liked TonnyC she #as gentle 1ut ( hated .ans teen .e had a $lustering look .e didn't $luster, he #as *ery &olite 1ut his &ale $lue eyes had that look, and and his his hand hands s L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &arN rNar arro# ro# stre street ets, s, #ith #ith the the &eo&le #alking u& one #ay and do#n another o tidily(n tidily(n the &ark, the .aagshe 1osh, the trees u&side-do#n in the ie green #aterL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)e go e*ery day to the >entraal %or an a&eriti% )e eat at a little &lae #herethe *iolinist &lays sentimental tunes *ery #ell 6')ill you &lay +e 1inyo 1inyou u %or %or madam madame" e" ''7 7L L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar( r( ha*e ha*en' n'tt any any mone money y .e hasn hasn't 't any any eith either er )e $oth $oth thoug thought ht the the othe otherr had had money1ut &eo&le are doing ra4y things all o*er the &lae The #ar is o*er No more #ar - ne*er, ne*er, ne*er A&res la guerre, there'll $e a good time e*ery#here

ke that !ou must let go o% e*erything else, sto& thinking L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arNet morning #e eat an enormous $reak%ast o% saus sausag ages es,, old old meat meat,, hee heesse and milk milk )e #alk #alk a$ou a$outt Amsterdam )e look at &itures in the Ri0ksmuseum ')ould you like to see your dou$le "' Enno saysL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( am tuned u& to to& &ith E*erything is smooth, so%t and tender





























>ertain >ertain houses, houses, ertain ertain streets streetsL&a L&arr L&ard Lhy&h&arNo Lhy&h&arNo sense, sense, no rea reason son Just Just this this nos nostal talgia gia An And, d, mind ind you, you, some some o% my songs songs ha*e ha*e made made mone money y' ' udd udden enly ly ( am in a %e*e %e*err o% aniety to get there +et's $e on our #ay, let's $e on our #ay)hy shouldn't #e get as %ar as 1russels" All right, #e'l #e'lll get get as %ar %ar as 1rus russel selsC migh mightt $e som somethi ething ng doin doing g in 1russelsL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar1ut the %i%teen &ounds ha*e gone )e raise e*ery &enny #e an )e sell most o% our lothesL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arMy $eauti%ul li%e in %ront o% me, o&ening out like a %an %an in my hand hand   L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&aar) r)ha hatt ha&& ha&&en ened ed then")ell, #hat ha&&ens"L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe room in the 1russels hotel - *ery hot The $ell o% the inema net door ringing A long, narro# room #ith a long, narro# #indo# and the the $ell $ell o% the the ine inema ma net net door door,, shar shar& & and and mean meanin ingl gles ess s  L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThings ha*en't gone Enno saying/ ')e'*e only got thirty %rans le%t' 6My +ord, is that all"7 '!es, only thirty %rans )e'll ha*e to do something a$out it tomorro#' L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe $ell o% the inema ke&t on ringing and e*ery time it rang ( ould %eel him startL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)hen he #ent out net morning he said/ T think ('ll $e a$le a$le to rais raisee some some mone money y )ait in here here %or %or me' me' L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h&ar')ill you $e a long time"'L&ar L&ard





























a#%ul ( say/ '('m a%raid you don'tremem$er me ( #as staying in those rooms in the Tem&le that you ame to look o*er, and you took me to dinner )e had oysters and #e talked a$out (reland ?on't you remem$er" Then #e #ere on the $oat going o*er to .olland and you ga*e me your address in 1russels !ou said i% ( got here, #ould ( look you u&" ?on't you remem$er"'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'O% ourse +ittle Miss - 'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Not Lhy&h&ar'Not little,' little,' ( say, say, 'not little' little' 1eause ( an't ha*e a man like like that that all allin ingm gmee litt little le L L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar ar(( talk talk a#ay a#ay,, saying, as i% it #ere a 0oke/ ')e're not eatly stranded )e shall $e 3uite all right as soon as #e get to Paris (n %at, #e shall $e 3uite all right in a day or t#o Only, stu&idly, 0ust %or the moment, #e're a $it stranded'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arMr +a#son talks $ak and in the end he gi*es me a hundred %rans '(% this is any good to you And no#, ('m *ery sorry, $ut ('*e got to rush' L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar

( am standing there #ith the note in my hand, #hen he omes u& to me and kissesme ( am hating him more than ( ha*e e*er hated anyone in my li%e, yet ( %eel my mouth go so%t under his, and my arms go lim& 'Good $ye,' he says in imitationAmerian,





























#as horri$ly rude, the old $ith he as good as told me she #oul #ouldn dn''t see see me i% e*er e*er ( #ent #ent ther therea eaga gain in Made Mademo mois isel elle le regr regret ette te,, mais mais made mademo mois isel elle le ne reo reoit it &as &as au0o au0our urd' d'hu hui i ' '  L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'A*enue +ouise" )hat num$er A*enue +ouise"'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Oh, shut u& a$out it' ( lie do#n on the $ed and $egin to ryL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'?on't ry (% you ry ( shall go mad'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'hut u&, then, and don't talk a$out the damned hundred %rans' 6)ith a hundred %rans they $uy the unlimited right to sorn you (t's hea& hea&7 7L&a L&arr L&ard L&ard Lhy&h&a Lhy&h&ar') r')hat hat are you rying rying a$out" a$out"'' he saysL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'(t's my dress ( %eel so a#%ul ( %eel so dirty ( #ant to ha*e a $ath ( #antanother dress ( #ant lean unde underr lot lothe hes s ( %eel %eel so a#%u a#%ul l ( %eel %eel so dirt dirty y'L 'L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h&ar'('ll get you another dress as soon as #e get to Paris ( kno# some#here #here #e an get redit!ou'll see, #hen #e get to Paris it'll $e all right' % .e goes out to $uy something to eat ( lie there and ( am ha&&y, %orgetting e*erything, ha&&y and ool, not aring i% ( li*e or die ( think o% the #ay Mr +a#son looked at me #hen ( %irst #ent in - his long, narro#, sur&rised %ae ( laugh and( an't sto& laughingL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe la*atory at the station - that #as the net time ( ried ( had 0ust $een sik ( #as so a%raid ( might $e going to ha*e a $a$y































Germ Germaan #ay #ay .is .is #i%e #i%e #at #athes hes him him, looki ooking ng s&ite &ite%u %ull and and %rig %right hten ened ed he he is thin thin and and ugly ugly and not not young young L L&ar &ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h&arThe #aiter mies the dressing %or the salad *ery slo#ly at the side$oard ( ansee mysel% in the mirror ( look thin - too thin - and dirty and haggard, #ith that e&ression that you get in your eyes #hen you are *ery tired and e*erythingis like a dream and you are starting to kno# #hat things are like underneath #hat &eo&le say they areL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( hadn't $argained %or this ( didn't think it #ould $e like this - sha$$y lothes, #orn out shoes, irles under your eyes, your hair getting getting straight and lanky, the #ay &eo&le look at you( didn't think it #ould $e like like this this L& L&ar ar L&ard L&ard Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar) r)aalkin lking g a$out a$out the stre street etss o% >ala >alais is #ith #ith the the #ait #aiter er's 's #i%e #i%e )e #ent #ent to see see that thatst stat atue ue $y Rodin All the time she #as om&laining in a thin *oie that he ne*erlet her ha*e any money %or lothes, and that it #as her money a%ter allC he hadn't a sou #hen she married himL&ar































and to dislike the#aiter $eause ( kne# he #asn't thinking muh o% my looks 6'he's not muh ( thought she #as $etter looking than that the %irst time ( sa# her'7L&ar L&ardLhy&h&ar( sto&&ed listening to them, $ut #hen the a$sinthe #ent really to my head ( thought ( #as shouting to them to shut u& ( e*en heard my *oie saying/ 'hut u&C ( hate you' 1ut really ( didn't say anything and #hen Enno looked at me ( smiledL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)ell, Gusta*e - the #aiter - lent us the money he had &romised and #e le%t >alaisL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arEnno had taken a dislike to Gusta*e's #i%e 'That to all itsel% a #omanB' he saidL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'1ut it #as her money,' ( saidL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Oh #ell,' Enno said, 'he makes *ery good use o% it, doesn't he" .e make makess muh muh $ett $etteer use use o% it than than she she #ould ould' ' L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h&ar(t #as a slo# train and #e #ere tightly &aked in the om&artment +ying in theluggage rak, trying to slee&, &ro&&ed u& $y Enno's stik and the #heels o% the train saying/































men men rea reading ding ne#s ne#s&a &a&e &ers rs on long ong sti stiks ks ha$ ha$$y $y men, men, not not snee sneeri ring, ng, not taki taking ng any any noti notie e Pit Piture uress on the the #all #alls s L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &arT rThe he hands hands o% the the lo lok k mo*i mo*ing ng 3uik 3uikly ly One One hour, t#o hours, three hoursL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.o# long #ill they let me sit here" Not a dro& o% o%%ee le%t The last last dro& #as *ery old and *ery $itter - *ery old and $itter, the last dro& ( ha*e i*e %rans, $ut ( daren't order another o%%ee ( mustn't s&end it on thatL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe olours o% the &itures melting into eah other, my head $ak against the $enh (% ( go to slee& they'll ertainly turn me out Perha&s they #on't, $ut $etter not risk itL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThree hours and a hal% L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arAs soon as ( see him ( kno# %rom his %ae that he's got some money A tall man is #ith him, a man #ith a gentle %ae and long, thin handsL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)e go net net door door to a &la &laee all alled ed +a Na&o Na&oli lita tain inee and and eat eat ra*i ra*iol oli i )armin rming g me Eat Eat slo# slo#ly ly make make it last last a long long time time L L&a &ar r































0um&ing u&, tu'm'emmerdes, 0e te dis )hat are youtrying y outrying to say, then"'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'1on, $on, ('m going,' Al%red says, getting u& '( see you are in a $ad tem&er('m going !ou needn't shout at me'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Oh, don't go,' ( sayL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'!ou shut u&,' Enno saysL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar Lhy&h&ar'Ma 'Madam dame,' e,' says Al%red l%red %rom the door, door, $o#ing $o#ingL& L&ar ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( laugh #hen he $o#s ( kee& on saying/ '(sn't this %unny, isn't this %unny"' (remem$er Al%red $lo#ing on my #rists to ool them and ( an't sto& laughing ( get so tired that ( &ut my head into my handsL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arEnno says/ '('m going out to $uy something to eat'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Already" (t's too early'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.e goes out #ithout ans#ering, slamming the doorL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'!ou don't kno# ho# to make lo*e,' he said That #as a$out a month a%ter #e gotto Paris '!ou're too &assi*e, you're la4y, you $ore me ('*e had enough o% this Good-$ye'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.e #alked out































smel smelli ling ng the the oil oil A lot lot o% oil oil - they they must must $e &ret &retty ty %res %resh h ( ( think/L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar')hat's going to ha&&en"' A%ter all, ( don't muh are #hat ha&&ens And 0ust as ( am thinking this Enno Enno #al #alks in #it #ith a $ott $ottle le o% #ine #ine unde underr his his arm rm L&a L&ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar' r'.e .ell llo,' o,' he says says L L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar' r'(' ('*e *e got some money,' he says 'My God, isn't it hot " Peel me an orange' '('m '('m *ery *ery thir thirst sty y,' he says says 'Pee 'Peell me an oran orange ge' ' L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h&arNo# is the time to say 'Peel it yoursel%', no# is the time to say 'Go to hell',no# is the time to say '( #on't $e treated like this this' ' 1ut 1ut muh muh too too stro strong ng - the the room room,, the the stre street et,, the the thin thing g in mysel%, mysel%, oh, muh too strong strongL&ar L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar( &eel the orange, ge, &ut &ut it on a &la &late and gi*e gi*e it to him him L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.e says/ '('*e got some money'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar.e $rings out a mille note, a seond mille note ( don't ask #here he has got them )hy ask" Money irulatesC it irulates - and ho#B ho#B )hy, )hy, you #oul #ouldn dn't 't $eli $elie* e*ee it some someti time mes s L& L&ar ar L&ar L&ard d

































L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe $ottle o% #ine #as under one arm, and his oat #as stiking out, $eause the loa% o% $read #as hidden under it The &atronne didn't like us to eat in our room Just one in a #hile she didn't mind, $ut #hen &eo&le eat in their room e*ery night, it means they really ha*e no money at allL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar)hen ( sa# him looking u& like that ( kne# that ( lo*ed him, and that it #as %or al#ays (t #as as i% my heart turned o*er, and ( kne# that it #as %or al#ays (t's a strange %eel %eelin ing g - #hen #hen you you kno# kno# 3ui 3uite ert ertaainl inly in your yourssel% el% that that something is %or al#ays (t's like #hat death must $e All the

































has sold t#o artiles .e has$een to see the old $oy at the +a&in Agile, and no# sings there e*ery night And there is a real 0o$ in &ros&et A &u$liity am&aign, to &o&ulari4e tea in 5rane Timmins' Tea .e is *ery eited a$out this, and he has designed a &oster, #hih he says #ill a&&eal to the 5renh/ 'Tea is the most eonomial drink in the #orld (t osts less than one sou a u&' ( gi*e English lessons Ten %ransan hour ( ha*e three &u&ils - a girl #ho #orks in a sent sho&, a man #ho ad*ertised in the 5igaro, and a young Russian #hom Enno met at the +a&in Agil Agile e .e eaks eaks Engl Englis ish h 0ust 0ust #ell #ell ( do doL L L& d

































get u& and gi*e me their seats in $uses Passe, %emme sareeNot eatly like that, $ut

still - it seemed to me that they #ere kind All the same, ('m not so mad no# a$out going out, and ( s&end long hours $y mysel% L&a L&arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar arTh Ther eree is a $ook $ooksh sho& o& net net door door,, #hi #hih h ad*ertises seond hand English no*els Theassistant is a .indu ( #ant a long, alm $ook a$out &eo&le #ith large inomes - a $ook like a lat green meado# and the shee& %eeding in it 1ut he

































the room #ith +ise )e ha*e 0ust had a %ine meal - s&aghetti ooked on the lamme $leue and a $ottle o% Asti &umante ( am %eel %eelin ing g rath rather er good good L L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar arh hee says says// '( #ish #ish there'd $e another #ar'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'Oh, +ise, don't say that'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&ar'!es, ( do ( might ha*e a $it o% luk ( migh mightt get get kill killed ed ( don' don'tt #ant #ant to li*e li*e any any more more,, me' me' L& L&ar ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThen she's o%% he has no$ody he doesn't think any$ody likes her The engagement in the Rue >u0as is %inished he an't get another he #ill one more ha*e to try %or a 0o$ as $ de e 'A d the li ht i the k i 't

































Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar' r'Poo Poorr litt little le +ise +ise,',' Enno Enno says, says, 'she' 'she'ss a nie nie litt little le girl girl,, $ut too sentimental'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arPaulette is a *ery di%%erent matter he is a gay, sauy #enh, a great %riend o% Enno's ( admire and try to o&y her and am 0ealous o% herL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arhe reads us etrats %rom letters #ritten to her $y a lo*er in the &ro*ines '

FTu es $elle et tu sens $onF )ell, #hat a$out it" And listen to this this// F!o F!our $rea $reast stss %ul%i %ul%ill the the &rom &romis isee o% your your eyes eyesFF .e's .e's



































se*eral &airs o% soks %or Enno '('*e sna%%led them,' she says '.e #on't kno# - he has too many'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arhe tells us that one o% her lo*ers, the >ount o% so - and - so, #ants



































itom&ensation, is it a&ology, or #hat " ('ll thro# it out o% the #ind #indo# o#,, #hat #hate* e*er er it is isL L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar arNo No# # sno# sno# is %alling There is the re%letion o% sno# in the room The light



































under the$edlothes(t's no use arguing As he's here, let's get on #ith #ith it itL L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy&h Lhy&h&a &ar' r'(' ('m m a%ra a%raid id this this #ill #ill ha*e ha*e to $e the last lesson,' ( sayL&ar sayL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe light makes



































&erdu la lumiere'L&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe Lhy&h&arThe house in the 1oule*ard MagentaL&ar L&ard Lhy&h&arThe sage %emme has *ery #hite hands and lear, slant ing eyes and #hen she



































she seems seems to me not unkind The room #here #e eat looks on to a large stone ourtyard !ou an get a 3uarter o% #ine %or a %e# sous sous L L&a &arr L&ar L&ard d Lhy& Lhy&h& h&ar ar1u 1utt ther there' e'ss an Engl Englis ish h *ale *alett de





































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Jean Rhys - Good Morning, Midnight

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