This course is copyright 2013 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this course in whole or in part or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. When you purchased this course, you agreed to the following statement: “©2013, All Rights Reserved. You understand that the information contained in this course is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice.” © 2013, All Rights Reserved First edition by Bobby Rio (TSB Magazine) and Rob Judge (Date Hotter Girls, LLC) © 2013, All Right Reserved
Introduction: When She’s Laughing....................6 • Before We Get to the Funny Business................9 • Why Setting the Right Expectation Makes Humor So Easy...........................11 • The “Theory of Expectations” Is Your Secret to HUMOR............................13 • What Your Humor Will Get Her to See In You.....15 • Why “Putting Her in Her Head” is So Important to Attractive Humor..........................17 • Finally, Remember: Clowns Don’t Get Laid!.....20 • Audio Note: Introduction................23
Phase 1: Breaking Her State..................................30
• A Brief Word On...Unpredictability....34 • Becoming Shameless Attracts Women with Honesty.............................................35 • Using Misinterpretation the Right Way....39 • Simple Way to Use Accusations to Get Her Laughing.............................43 • A Foolproof Flirting Formula that Instantly Breaks Her State..........................................45 • Part 1 Templates and Examples.........................49 • Audio Note: Part 1......................................52
Phase2: EstablishingYou’reA Flirt.........................55 • When Starts
She
Says Something Dumb or Rambling......................................56
• UsingMisinterpretationtoSetUpAFlirtyVibe.....58 • How to Mess With Her To Get the Upper Hand....63 • Statement Formula to Overcome Friction & Get Her Laughing........................67 • Part 2 Templates and Examples....................72 • Audio Note: Part 2............................................74
Phase 3: Rapport Through Humor......................79
• Cool Vulnerability: The Secret Hack to Humorous Rapport..............................82 • The 3½-Step Formula to Telling the Perfect “Funny Story”....................87 • How to Amplify Her Laughter 10-Fold with Effortless Details...............................100 • Create the “Us Vibe,” Role Play It, and She’s Yours................................................111 Searing-Hot “Partners • The in Crime” Technique.............115 • Pop Culture Makes Humorous Rapport so Easy a Caveman Could Do It..........121 • Part 3 Templates and Examples.............124 • Audio Note: Part 3........................................125 •
Phase 4: Take Her Back to the Playground......129
• Using Playful Bullying to Turn Up the Sexual Tension.........................131 • Play “Games” to Mix Playground Humor with Rapport...............................136
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• Callback Humor Amplifies the “Playground Effect”...........................141 • Dumbing Your Humor Down to the Playground Level.........143 • Part 4 Templates and Examples....................146 • Audio Note: Part 4.....................................147
Phase5:SexualizedHumor....................................150 • The Perfect Combo: Sexual Statements Mixed with Humor........................153 • Sexual Priming: The Rejection-Proof Way to Get In Her Pants...........................157 • Part 5 Templates and Examples.............162 • Audio Note: Part 5........................................163
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introduction: When she’s laughing... Humor alone will get you a laugh or two; humor in a specific sequence will get you LAID as well as prevent you from “spinning your wheels”...
T
hey weren’t lying…
Women love a guy who can make them laugh. Probably that’s no secret to you either as most surveys often rank humor as THE most attractive quality women look for in a man. What you may not know, however, is that ANY guy can get women laughing. And I mean, ANY guy. This isn’t to say that every guy is a comedian—or even funny. You don’t need jokes or elaborate punch lines to women laughing their pants off (quite literally). Before we can even delve into this course, first you MUST understand that “comedy”—as you probably know it—is almost something entirely different from cultivating the ability to “make women laugh.” Here’s why:
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Introduction • Comedy requires set ups, punch lines, and very creative twists and character development • Making women laugh requires creating tension, pushing her “emotional buttons,” and unpredictability Becoming even a mediocre comedian can take a lifetime, whereas becoming good at making women laugh is much, much easier. So easy that you will be a master of it by the end of this course! If you have any lingering doubts or insecuri- “Making women laugh requires creating ties about “not being funny enough,” here’s where you leave those insecurities behind. tension, pushing her “emotional buttons,” In fact, a lot of the time if you try to use tra- and unpredictability...” ditional jokes or comedy monologues to get women laughing not only does it NOT work, it also comes across as supplicating and try-hard! That’s why even guys who can tell funny jokes often don’t come across attractive (probably you know a guy who’s “hilarious” yet women just don’t seem to like him). On the other hand, you’ve probably seen a guy who can get away with saying absolute to stupidity to women… ...yet women seem to crack up at every word he says. Sometimes women even erupt into laughing fits before that guy even finishes his sentences. What’s up with that? Why do women fall for guys like this?
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Introduction Simple: these sorts of guys understand how to use tension, know which humor is appropriate in which situation, understand women’s emotional triggers, and add a dash of unpredictability to whatever they say. If it sounds easy...then good! Get ready to Make Her Horny with Humor!
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Introduction Before We Get to the Funny Business
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here is a method to the madness of what some people think of as ‘being funny.’ Once you understand how a humorous/flirty interaction is supposed to look, you will begin to see them as I do, and the mystery will begin to unravel itself.
There is a “code” language that women instantly recognize as ‘flirtation’ even though you’re NOT complimenting her, hitting on her, or asking her questions about herself. There are ‘loopholes’ that exist as well, and I’ve identified them, and I know precisely when to “exploit” those loopholes. The techniques that Rob and I have discovered and the “templates” we have assembled are going to crack this code that very few men take advantage of… and allow you to capitalize on what we call the “Theory of Expectations” to make her horny with humor.
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Introduction Having this understanding will put the odds back in your favor, and give you the control so that you can consistently spark attraction in conversations. This “Horny with Humor” course looks at five different “stages” that will immediately help you stack your deck in your favor, and crack the code of the humor that’s attractive to women!
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Introduction Why Setting the Right Expectation Makes Humor So Easy
I
f you’re anything like me, you can probably think back to a time… ...where you’ve been around a girl who thinks you’re shy… or boring... Or even a dork….
...and then, weirdly, did you find yourself “living up to” her expectations? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. It happened to me ALL the time! When I first meet someone I can be sort of quiet. And if I sense that person has pigeon-holed me as “the shy guy,” I find it much harder to break out of my shell and display other aspects of my personality. It’s like I let their ‘image of me’ shape how I act. And soon enough… I become “the shy guy.”
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Introduction This is what expectations are all about. To put this in simpler terms: The initial impression we make on someone, dictates the rest of our interactions with them. So if the other person’s first impression of you is that you’re ‘quiet’ or ‘shy’… you’re going to find yourself acting reserved or inhibited to display your personality... …if their first impression of you is that you’re ‘friendly’ or ‘nice’… you’re going to find yourself acting out the role of ‘nice guy.’ BUT if their first impression of you is that you’re ‘a flirt’… you’re going to find yourself acting fun and flirtatious. How this relates to humor will be clear in a moment…
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Introduction The “Theory of Expectations” Is Your Secret to HUMOR
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f you’ve accepted that self-fulfilling prophecies are real, if you can relate to feeling pigeonholed as the shy or “nice” guy, then it leaves you with TWO choices: Choice 1: Let the “Theory of Expectations” become an obstacle that keeps you from chicks Choice 2: Use the “Theory of Expectations” to your advantage
I don’t know about you… but I like to take every advantage I can get when I’m out there talking to girls! That’s You Need to Immediately Establish Yourself as a Flirty, “Funny” Guy Who Can Get Her Laughing Her Pants OFF! So here’s the thing… the longer you wait to begin flirting with/
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Introduction joking around with women, the more resistance you are going to face when/if you do and so the harder it is going to be to make the transition from ‘friendly conversation’ to ‘flirtatious conversation.’ In fact, you may never even get a chance to start flirting… because she might have already dismissed you as another boring chump. You can’t really blame women either… they get hit on by so many guys that they have to make a decision pretty quickly whether or not they want to keep talking to you… ...so if she views you as the boring sort of guy she is going to respond to you in a boring sort of way and give you NOTHING to work with, hoping that you get the point and walk away. (Thus living up to her expectations.) However… ...if you quickly establish yourself as a fun, flirtatious kind of guy… she is going to respond in a fun, flirtatious sort of way and give you TONS to work with… (Again, because you “lived up to” her expectations.) Make it your JOB to quickly get her thinking “Oh… this is the type of interaction this is going to be FUN… THIS guy GETS IT.” Most guys don’t “get it.” And so they REALLY don’t get it (Get it?). So when you show her that you do… things get A LOT easier.
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Introduction What Your Humor Will Get Her to See In You
U
ltimately it all comes down to displaying to her that you are the kind of guy who is comfortable and confident joking around with hot girls. And that you enjoy doing it.
What does a guy like this look like? • This guy is sure of himself • This guy is unaffected by what she says • This guy is self-amused • This guy is slightly childish in an endearing sort of way • This guy is animated • This guy is completely comfortable with who he is The quicker she sees you as this sort of guy… the easier the rest of the conversation is going to go. And more importantly, the easier it will be to take a conversation from ‘friendly’ to ‘laughing’ to ‘sexual.’
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Introduction The Good News… The good news is that it is not nearly as hard as you think to establish yourself as “funny.” In fact, it is just a matter of a few well-timed, well-delivered flirtatious banter lines that will flip the switch in her mind… and have her thinking… “Oh… He’s THAT kind of guy…” Once you plant that thought her in mind… the “Theory of Expectation” takes over and everything else becomes so much easier. It’s like you begin to swim with the tide… instead of against it.
The Bad News… The only bad news is that if you haven’t acted like this before, you need to get yourself comfortable being playful and flirty with women, even with girls you’ve just met. Most guys walk on eggshells around attractive women, and espcially attractive women, they’ve just met. To make the material in this course work, you HAVE TO get in the habit of LEADING the interaction and moving things in a humorous and flirty direction... because when you do, you’ll pull off a little attraction secret we like to call “putting her in her head”...
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Introduction Why “Putting Her in Her Head” is So Important to Attractive Humor
H
ave you ever been around someone who just seemed to “dictate” the pace of a conversation? Or maybe you’ve been in a situation where YOU dictated the pace, a time when you immediately feel “in control” of the conversation.
Acting this way is NOT bossy or rude. But it does get people to feel as they need to live up YOUR standards—and not vice versa. Even if you say something the other person doesn’t necessarily find funny, they will probably laugh anyway! That’s the feeling you need to get women to feel around you. Because that feeling almost always leads to attraction.
This is what we mean when we say “putting her in her head.” If you think about it like sports, imagine a team losing to an aggressive team who is constantly on the offensive. All the losing team can do is try to scramble and play defense.
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Introduction Likewise, with women, you want them trying to keep up with the conversation. She will feel turned on when you’re on the offensive and she’s doing what she can to try and keep up. To think of this another way, if you’ve ever felt nervous or anxious around women, you obviously know what it feels like to be “in your head.” Whenever a guy “can’t think of what to say,” tries extra hard to make a woman happy or comfortable, or fears he might “mess it up,” that guy is stuck in his head! Most women—and especially hotter women—have actually grown accustomed to this! They expect that most men will be in their head, trying to keep up with THEIR converesation. If you’ve ever put up with a woman’s bad behavior, it’s because that woman was on the offensive. Moreover, if you’ve ever felt like a woman was bossing you around, asking you too many questions, sporadically ignoring you, or even expecting you pay for her drinks or dinner, you have felt what it’s like to be in your head. Just think back to dates or interactions you’ve had with women. Probably you can recall specific instances where you felt this way. Most guys allow this to happen because it’s easy and it feels like “the nice thing” to do. Indeed, when women have you stuck in your head, you’re less likely to encounter friction or have arguments.
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Introduction A woman will feel very comfortable when she’s on the offensive—so comfortable, she’ll probably make you her new guy friend... but that’s ALL you’re ever going to be to her: “just a friend.” If you want to become “more than a friend” then you need to put her in her head. Okay, so how does this relate to humor and, more importantly, how do you do it?
“Getting her in her head isn’t always easy-but it’s worth it.”
So much of humor depends on tension. This is how you break her state, establish yourself as a flirt, get sexual, etc. We’ll say it again though: you really need to have courage here. Most guys lack the balls to create moments of tension and friction. Not only do you need the courage to create these moments, but actually must get yourself to ENJOY them.
Rest assured that nothing in this course advocates that you act like an asshole or behave in an antagonistic way. The only “tense” behaviors that we advise you to adopt are those necessary for attraction. Getting her in her head isn’t always easy—but it’s worth it.
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Introduction Finally, Remember: Clowns Don’t Get Laid!
W
omen MAY love to laugh, but they DON’T want a clown or even an entertainer. Even the funniest standup comedy routines can fail miserably on a date... and sometimes EVEN IF a woman is cracking-up laughing, she’s unconsciously losing respect and attraction for the same man who’s making her laugh! (Sucks, doesn’t it?) Therefore, it’s crucial that you always remember the golden rule of attractive humor:
The subtext is more important than the joke.
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Introduction That means the subtext of the joke—or what the joke implies— is more important than how funny it is. Take, as an example, two jokes: Joke A: “What’s the difference between a Cadillac and a dead baby? I don’t have a Cadillac in my garage.” Joke B: “I was going to wear a v-neck shirt out, but I decided not to because I don’t want you staring at my cleavage all night.” Regardless if you find these jokes funny or not, there are two very different subtexts in each joke. The subtext of joke A is that you find dead babies funny. The subtext of joke B is that you understand how men and women interact. In one joke, you show your apathy and insensitiveness, whereas in the other joke you demonstrate that you understand gender relations and social subtleties. Most guys find dead baby jokes funny because it’s “cool” to be apathetic and insensitive around other guys—that’s the essence of “being tough.” Women don’t find such qualities endearing, however. Most women find insensitive men creepy and weird. (Hence why if you tell a woman a dead baby joke, it’ll usually make her think you’re disgusting.)
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Introduction Keep subtext in mind whenever you’re flirting with women. Use this chapter (as well as some common sense) and you’ll quickly get sense of attractive subtexts. Subtext is THE most important aspect of humor—it’s what women mean when they say they love a man who can make them laugh. They’re really saying they love a man who can make them laugh using the appropriate subtexts. It’s what separates the unattractive clown from the attractive funny guy. When it comes to subtext, learn it. Practice it. Use it. As the golden rule states, the subtext is actually MORE important than how “funny” you are. In fact, the other golden rule of sexy humor states: The bar for “social humor”—the type of humor you use when interacting with women—is set very low. So don’t try too hard to be funny—it’s not complicated. Making women laugh takes absolutely no talent. It’s simply a matter of understanding subtext, applying a formula, and getting the delivery right...all of which we’ll be covering over the course of the next 5 phases, both in this book and on the audios!
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Module 2
introduction Introduction: The Why of Humor • Why we created this program
Because most people get humor completely wrong
• Maybe you’re not naturally funny • Maybe you are but can’t think quick enough when you’re with a girl • Maybe your humor doesn’t translate well • Certain types of humor work best in different phases of an interaction
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Introduction Specific sequence of shifting your humor that makes her horny
• Humor alone will get you a laugh or two • Humor in a speficic sequence will get you laid • Knowing this sequence also prevents you from spinning your wheels.
What does this guy look like? How should your delivery be? • This guy is sure of himself • This guy is unaffected by what she says • This guy is self-amused • This guy is slightly childish in an endearing sort of way • This guy is animated • This guy is completely comfortable with who he is
The “Greased Slide” of getting her panties off
• Humor “greases” the slide • Humor keeps her “logical mind” shut down • Laughing and fun are aphrodisiacs • It creates an environment where a seduction can take place • Laughing provides chemical reactions that help a seduction along: It oxygenates the brain, it helps the flow of oxygen to various parts of the body, and circulation (so does Viagra) • It releases ‘feel good’ chemicals like dopamine, and en-
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Introduction dorphins • Most importantly Humor serves very specific functions in various phases of a seduction. This is where most guys blow it. They stick with humor that is only conducive to one phase and serves only one purpose
Humor should be constantly shifting to serve multiple purposes; some of the purposes will discuss are... • Getting her to pay attention to you • Establish yourself as a flirt • Create comfort and rapport with her • Loosen her up for the kiss • Introduce sexuality into the interaction
Humor allows you to display “attractive traits” and create an “attractive atmosphere”
• It signals social intelligence, confidence, and pre-selection • It puts her in an emotional state (much more able to influence someone) • It builds trust and bonds, and gets her feeling like she’s known you • It allows for physical contact in an innocent way
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Introduction Introductions: Important Concepts Bobby and Rob Will Be Covering • Fun vs. Funny: Why most guys worry about being “funny” when girls really prefer a fun guy over a comedian.
• Taking her back to the playground: This is a phrase we use to discuss that elusive space where she feels like she’s back on the playground with her crush • The Giant Spotlight: Your goal is get the conversation focused on the two of you. Most guys focus on something or someone else. Humor works best when the humor stems from the back and forth play between you and her • Shifting styles of humor: You’ve got to understand that what gets her laughing at one point will not bring you closer to sex later on. Sarcasm is a great example of this. While it can signal social intelligence… later on it actually works against you • Social lubrication: The primary reason for humor is social lubrication. Its to grease up the slide so she continues to move forward towards sex without self doubt, or objections
The theory of expectations
• The first 5 minutes set up the rest of the interaction
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Introduction • Whether it’s the first 5 minutes of meeting her, the date, being back at your place… you need to establish flirtatious humor quickly. • The initial impression we make on someone dictates the rest of our interactions with them.
“Cool Vulnerability”
• A specific type of humor we’re going to talk about that creates a bond with her.
Introduction: The “5 Phase” Panty Dropping Method
• Phase 1: Pattern Interrupt • Phase 2: Establish Yourself as a Flirt • Phase 3: Rapport through Humor • Phase 4: Taking Her Back to the Playground • Phase 5: Sexualized Humor
Why use this method?
• This will keep you on track and moving forward • Prevents you from turning into a “dancing monkey” or “court jester” • It properly lubricates her • Making a sexual joke might be funny, but if done out of sequence it can creep her out • Being sarcastic might make her laugh.. but if done before going for the kiss it might kill the mood.
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Introduction • Designed to progress towards sex • Moving towards sex is about balancing sexual tension and rapport • Keeps you on track and prevents floundering • Gives you an intention behind everything you’re doing • Is designed to achieve very specific goals in each phase • Is designed to overcome barriers and obstacles and objections before they come up • For instance, when you ask her to hang out… her first objection might be to think “I don’t really know this guy...” but if you’ve brought her through the bonding phase… you’re much less likely to get that objection..
The Common Mistakes
• For years my humor worked against me instead of for me • Most teachers teach this wrong. They suggest using a one size fits all approach to humor. But humor must change through various phases of a seduction. As we go through the program you’ll understand • The humor guys use doesn’t translate well to girls... or they’re just not as funny as they think they are • They come off as try hard • They go into dancing monkey mode and become her entertainer • Their jokes feel forced • They get stuck in one gear the entire night
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Introduction • They use one style of humor the entire night • Teasing her is great in the beginning. But if you do it all night it begins to halt the seduction • They use sexual humor before she’s ready for it • They are too self deprecating • Cool vulnerability is good. Displaying negative traits about yourself for a laugh is NOT • They get addicted to her approval • A lot of times you might be enjoying the approval and response you’re getting so much you begin to fear ruining it by making a move or expressing a sexual intent. • Guys create too much rapport; they then can’t make a move. If you create too much rapport it can become awkward to try to make a sexual move • She may begin to feel too comfortable around you and the sexual tension diminishes • Their timing is off and breaks her seduction trance with ill timed joke • One of the reason sarcasm can hurt a seduction is that one remark that goes over her head or stings a little too much can backfire and kill your chances. • Having to explain a joke kills the mood; lowers status
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phase 1: Breaking Her State Used within the first few seconds of meeting a girl; the first few minutes of a date; in a first text message you send her....
I
think we can all agree that women put up sort of a “Bitch Shield” when they first begin talking to guy they are uncertain about.
These women don’t want to give off too much interest and encourage him to keep talking, so often they will appear bitchy, bored, tired, or uptight. It is your job to use bantering to break through this ‘shield.’ I mean, it’s probably no surprise to you that women love a guy who’s fun and laid back. If a guy seems like he brings positive emotions or can add something to her night, a woman will want such a guy to stay around. Moreover, large groups of girls are less likely to “cock-block” because they’ll enjoy the guy’s company as well. That means that
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Phase 1 your attitude HAS GOT to be...
“I’m Going to Make Her Smile No Matter How Hard She’s Frowning” Before you even DELIVER a line or try one of the tactics in this phase, it’s important to be high energy and animated. Often the best way to approach this phase is by getting YOURSELF laughing and feeling good BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING! If you’re getting ready to approach a girl in a bar or nightclub, you should not think too much or hesitate... Once you do approach or begin an interaction, don’t wait to drop some humorous lines into the interaction! Most guys wait until they have created rapport to begin teasing a woman or bantering with her. But the trick is to begin bantering with a woman as quickly as possible. Ideally you want to get at least three or four banter lines in before you move on to more ‘normal’ conversation. That way, you can be pretty sure her state has been broken and she’s interested in having a fun, flirty interaction with you. As a quick starter, I’ve listed a few simple banter lines below. When delivering these lines, try to get them in sometime dur-
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Phase 1 ing the first two minutes of talking to her. While timing and relevance are important to the delivery of these lines, I chose these banter lines because they are the easiest to naturally weave into a conversation. The best way to deliver the lines is as if you suddenly realized something about her after 30 seconds or so when talking to her or the group she’s with: • “You and I aren’t gonna get along” • “You guys aren’t tourists are you?” • “Don’t say anything, you’re cute. You’ll mess it all up” • “You’re cool. You can help me pick up chicks.” • “You usually hang out at the library don’t you?” • “Oh, so you’re one of THOSE…” • “You don’t have to be nervous, it’s cute.” • “I hate you.” • “Ok, note to self: don’t date her” Remember, the only purpose of these lines is to set the tone of the interaction. Timing and relevance will play a big role in the above lines. You’re ptobably not going to get a lot from her to work with, so use these little banter lines to loosen her up and break her state. Also, don’t dwell on the banter line. If she tries to pry or wants you to explain more… just let it roll off, give her a sly smile, and change the subject.
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Phase 1 Finally, you can always pull a woman or group of women into your party by using a seemingly situational line. For example: “(While laughing) Hey guys, get this. My friend just said _____ (insert funny situation or comment, some I’ve used are “My friend just said women find handle-bar mustaches sexy” or “My friend just said it’d be a good idea to wear sweatpants to a job interview.”)
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Phase 1 A Brief Word On... Unpredictability
A
ll humor comes from the unexpected. In fact, all the humor formulas and templates in this course have some element of the “unexpected.” If a girl can predict how a joke will end, she probably won’t laugh.
Unfunny people are usually boring, predicable people. Therefore, always remember much of humor simply comes from doing or saying the unexpected. Example: If someone asked what you wanted to drink when ordering at McDonalds and you said, “I’ll go with an aged Bordeaux.” That usually would get a laugh because the person asking would have expected you to answer with a soft drink.
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Phase 1 Becoming Shameless Attracts Women with Honesty
I
once asked an attractive woman I was dating, who’d heard every pickup line in the book, if there was such a thing as a good pickup line. She said yes, but only if a guy is funny and ironic about it. That way, it seems as if he’s acknowledging the awkwardness of it and, by doing so, makes it funny and not awkward. It’s kind of like when someone says, “I’m going to tell you something but you can’t get mad…” or “I don’t mean to sound racist, but…” and then they say something that normally would have been really offensive…yet it’s somehow less offensive because they acknowledged it! We like to call sort of humor “radical honesty” or “shamelessness.” However you want to think of it, get yourself in the habit of using it because it works WONDERS when attracting women! An important aspect of shameless humor is getting a little nerve
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Phase 1 because it takes some nerve to call things out. That’s because being shameless is the exact opposite of acting shameful, which is how most guys communicate their desire for women. Most men sheepishly admit they’re attracted to women, or they pretend they aren’t attracted at all. And since most guys act this way, it sets up a GREAT opportunity for humor. Not only is acting shameless unexpected/unpredictable, but it also injects A LOT of healthy tension into the interaction, which is what will get women laughing uncontrollably…even if what you’re saying isn’t objectively very funny. The first step to using shameless humor is to stop pretending to be embarrassed that you like girls. Stop hiding it—and start flaunting it! For example, if a woman you find attractive ever asks you, “Are you hitting on me?” Tell her the truth: “Of course I am!” Even if she says something like, “You’re just trying to get in my pants...” Try responding with radical honesty, “Of course I am!” Don’t be one of these guys who has a hard time admitting to other people—and even admitting to himself—that he desires women. This mindset applies to other aspects of attractive humor, as well. For example, say a girl tells you it’s “girls night out”– which actually happened to me the other day. I was out with
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Phase 1 my friend and the girl said something like, “It’s girls night, I can’t talk to you!” I responded, “Does this mean you don’t shave your legs?” The girl and her friend were like, “What? What are you talking about?” It was kind of a personal question to ask a set of girls that I’d just met, but sure enough, after saying that, I was able to escalate the conversation, saying, “If you were about to have sex with a guy and you haven’t shaved your legs, what do you do? Do you have sex anyway? Do you care that you’re hairy?” We had this big sexual conversation because I had the nerve to ask a simple question like, “Does girls night out mean you don’t shave your legs?” Growing up, our parents rejected shamelessness. When a little kid says something that everybody is thinking, parents usually respond, “Ooh. Don’t say that here.” Shamelessness is just saying the unsaid. It’s like a five-year-old kid is standing in front of her, noticed something, and just said it. You also want to do things like connect the dots. For instance, if she leaves something out, fill it in for her. Maybe she’s telling a story about a guy that she met off Match.com, and it didn’t work out. You can say, “Yeah. So the sex got boring?” or, “No
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Phase 1 sexual attraction? No sexual chemistry?” You’re connecting the dots of what she left out of the conversation. That’s being pretty shameless. It may take some time, a little practice, and whole lot of honesty, but if you can get yourself feeling comfortable about your desire for women, you will keep them laughing while escalating the conversation toward sex. One final point before we get into a few quick examples: feeling comfortable about your desire for women DOES NOT mean you’re chasing them and kissing their ass. Absolutely not! Being honest with your desire doesn’t mean constantly telling a woman how beautiful she is, or how much you like her. Please don’t misinterpret the shameless mindset as an excuse to act needy. Acting needy is NOT humorous and it’s certain NOT attractive. If you’re confused how to communicate your desire in a humorous way without coming off needy, try lines like this: • “So insert random pickup here. I thought you were cute and wanted to come over and flirt with you, shamelessly.” • “Hey, as much as I’d like to revert to the 3rd grade playbook of ignoring girls, I had to come over and meet you.”
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Phase 1 Using Misinterpretation the Right Way
I
magine a woman showing up to a first date with a guy she’s met only once, very briefly, and whom she hardly remembers. Imagine her walking into a colorful lounge and scaning the room...
A man notices her, smiles, and waves. As she’s making her way over to him, she thinks, “Oh God, I hope this guy isn’t boring. I really don’t want to sit through an hour of bad conversation...” Outwardly though, she beams a friendly smile and sits down at the table, across from her date. “Sorry I’m late,” she says, preparing to enter into the boring small talk she so hates. “Did the waitress already come?” The man smirks a little, waits a moment to respond, and says, “I’m not sure, but that would explain why she’s smiling so much...”
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Phase 1 At first the comment confuses the her. She was expecting small talk and... ...did he just say...? She looks up at him, not sure if she heard him correctly. He flashes her a self-assured smirk. Then she blurts out laughing. While the comment was a bit edgy, the man sitting across from the woman is someone VERY comfortable around women. He’s a man who understands how to attractively misinterpret something “... misinterpret her or accuse her of somea woman says so that he can playfully get a thing-even in a joking woman in a flirty/sexual mood without being way-she will immediately feel a need to creepy or too obvious. respond”
This technique—similar to teasing—is accomplished by misinterpreting something a woman says or accusing her of something in a comical way. This puts a woman “in her head” because she has to scramble to clarify or “defend” herself. If you misinterpret her or accuse her of something—even in a joking way—she will immediately feel a need to respond. This creates tension.
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Phase 1 Now, again, this technique should be used sparingly and with caution. If a woman doesn’t realize you’re joking, this can easily create too much tension and become combative (thus ruining the interaction). Until you get comfortable thinking of your feet, you may find it easier to use a formula to misinterpret things about a woman. I like using templates because if I’m in a jam or she’s not giving me much to work with, I can just use a template answer. One of my favorite playful misinterpretations also involves another comedy concept you’ll read about in this book: accusation. Here’s the formula:
“Girls who...” + Thing She’s Doing/Wearing/Etc. + “...are total...” + Playful Accusation Here are some an examples of misinterpretations and accusations that are “edgy” and work to stoke a woman’s attraction: She says: “Do you have a minute?” You say: “Do I look like a minute man?”
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Phase 1 She says: “What do you think of this hat?” You say: “Girls who wear hats like that are total troublemakers.” In both examples, the tension comes from misinterpreting that she’s sexual and wild. Most of the time, women think you’re the one who has a dirty mind. By reversing that stereotype, you put her in a position where she has to defend herself and “clarify” what she meant (putting her in her head!). Speaking of which, let’s take a closer look at why accusations work so well in the next section...
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Phase 1 Simple Way to Use Accusations to Get Her Laughing
P
layfully “accusing” a girl of something is great for social humor.
While it may not be “objectively” funny, accusation creates SO MUCH tension in such a funny, flirtatious way that we just had to give it its own section in this book. Whenever accused of something, most girls’ first response will be to deny it, which as we mentioned in the last section, will put them in their head. For example, you may say to a girl, “Wow, you’re EVIL!” to which she’ll usually retort, “No I’m not! Why do you think that?” That’s the perfect “setup” for SO MUCH social humor. For example you could say…
• “Yeah right! You are so evil. I’ll bet your head twists around like the Exorcist!”
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Phase 1 • Keep a silent, deadpan face, causing her to keep asking, “What? Why do you think that? Tell me!”
Regardless what you do or say after accusing her, it’ll amplify her laughter because she’ll feel tense. And she’ll want to release that tension through laughter at your joke. This is the essence of attractive humor!
The reason we introduced the concept of accusation in the last section on misinterpretation because the two together make a killer tag-team! Personally, my FAVORITE time to make an accusation is right after intentionally misinterpreting something a woman said. This way, I can use my “misinterpretation” to justify the accusation. It doesn’t even really matter if your misinterpretation or accusation makes “logical” sense. It’s more important to let your imagination run wild and have fun. As long as you do it in a playful, non-creepy way, she’s going to enjoy it. Just be sure she sees you’re NOT seriously trying to accuse her of something. You know you’re doing it right if the girl plays along— even if she acts offended or indignant. She might say, “What?! I didn’t say that! Why would you think that?” but if she’s saying it with enthusiasm or a little smirk, she’s enjoying herself. (And that’s the essence of flirting!)
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Phase 1 A Foolproof Flirting Formula that Instantly Breaks Her State
W
e hate canned pickup lines. Most are just not funny. And the few that are typically DO NOT contain the type of humor that’s going to get you laid because the subtext is all wrong. Pickup lines ooze with the subtext “I’m trying to impress you” (at best) or “I’m sleazy” (at worst). Yet there ARE times when having a few “lines” up your sleeve can be extremely effective. One of those moments is when trying to break a woman’s state. Breaking her state so she flirts with you is CRUCIAL. Unfortunately, most guys strike out because they’re either NOT using humor at all, or using the wrong type of humor, to do that. You want to make a woman’s decision to flirt with you as easy on her as possible. It usually only takes between 30 seconds to 2 minutes to do this. But to do it, you HAVE TO be a guy she’s interested in learning more about.
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Phase 1 Reaching that “hook point” moment can be a simple as saying a single sentence or phrase. Often it will take a little more, but rest assured: as long as you have a woman’s attention, you can keep throwing out phrases and lines until something “hooks.” A very consistent way to create this vibe is by using “bait”—conversation topics you know will get an emotional response. These con- “bait:conversation versations are based on leading her into an topics you know will get an emotional “invisible thread.” A thread is anything she response” says that you can use as a talking point. For example, if she says, “I drive a red Honda Accord,” there are plenty of threads in that sentence: The car—why does she drive a Honda Accord? Does she like it? The color—why did she pick red? Does it describe her personality? She drives—when did she learn to drive? Is she a good driver? You too can probably think up dozens of threads without breaking a sweat. Thus, the issue isn’t finding “threads”—it’s about finding humorous threads that get her flirting with you. Finding a “flirty” thread about a Honda can be challenging, espcially when you’re on the spot. There’s only so much you can say about driving a red Honda Accord that’s attractive or that will spark a vibe.
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Phase 1 And so that’s where the idea of “invisible threads” comes into play. You don’t have to make breaking her state any more difficult than it already is. Trying to improvise attractive threads on the spot is nerve-wracking—so why do it if you don’t have to? You can set yourself up for a flirty exchange just by steering the conversation toward an invisible thread. Here’s one way to do it... once you begin talking to a woman, get yourself in the habit of teasing her by saying: “Oh wow, you have a bit of an accent—don’t you?” Then follow up your tease by saying something like, “Hmm... lemme guess where your accent is from...” Even if a woman tells you, “I don’t have an accent,” just chuckle as if she were lying and say, “Stop. You totally do. Lemme guess where it’s from.” This is a surefire way to lead to the invisible thread, which is to set yourself up to make a humorously wrong guess about her “accent.” So, if I were talking to a Caucasian girl who obviously grew up in New York, I’d say, “Sounds like you’re from the jungles of Vietnam.” If I was talking to an Asian girl, I’d say, “You’re totally German, aren’t you?” I know this might sound weird, but this sort of shtick is all you need to spark a vibe. Women are almost always going to laugh and tease you back. If you don’t like the accent example, come up with an invisible thread you
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Phase 1 like better. Point is: figure out a surefire to always spark a flirty vibe, right from the start. Here’s a flow chart that spells out the formula to create a flirty vibe...
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Part 1: Breaking Her State
Unpr ed
y t have an accent! where’s it ictabili >“You from? Lemme guess. Guam…” >“___________ is EVIL!” >“What’s new in _____(Ironic
Place)__?”
Tips
1. Set her up to think you’re going to guess something (e.g., Accent); twist expectations by guessing something off-the-wall 2. Saying anything is “evil” usually gets a laugh
Radic al Truth >“I’m going to flirt shamelessly
with you for the next 32 seconds...” >“I’m taking you on a speed date!” >“...you can’t really blame me...”
Tips 1. Hitting on women creates tension, which often leads to laughter... use that to your advantage!!! 2. Don’t “hide” sexual intent; highlight it! 3. Girls often find the idea of “going on a speed date” funny if said at a bar or party, try it!
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Part 1: Breaking Her State
sn Misin o i by ____ you mean ____, then yes!” terpretat >“If >“You are such a
(badass/flirt/diva/nerd/
dork)!”
>“I’ll bet you are”
wet...”)
(if she says, “I’m
Tips
1. The easiest way to inject humor into a “weird” situation is to reverse it with the “If by...” template 2. You can misinterpret her behavior however you want...and the less logical you are, the funnier it usually is...
Pop C ulture
>“Wait, I’m calling a Zack Morris timeout.” >“I kissed a girl…and liked it!” >“Bling, bling!”
Tips
1. Making a funny pop culture reference can instantly get her laughing as well as create rapport 2. be on the lookout for funny lines and sayings from TV and movies! 3. Be on the lookout for “femalefriendly” references... popular romantic comedies (e.g. Wedding Crashers) are great for this!
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Part 1: Breaking Her State
Incon guys’ night out!” gruence >“It’s “You’re going to be my new body-
guard!” >“Stop staring at my man-cleavage!”
Tips
1. Playing on “gender humor” is great because it shows that you “get” the difference between men and women so much you can make it into a joke 2. To do this on-the-fly is easy! Just reverse a “stereotype”
S pec
s l girl drinking an Appletini WOULD i ific deta >“A say something like that.”
>“Wear that dress you know I love!” >“What are you doing at 8:03 tonite?”
Tips
1. For whatever reason, specifics are funny. get in the habit of noticing details and commenting on them! 2. Specifics are great to combine with other humor aspects (e.g., Radical truth: “Let’s go on a speed date, fall hopelessly in love, have 2.5 children, find our dream house with the white picket fence...all in the next 37 seconds! ready? Let’s go!”
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Module 2
Part 1: Breaking Her State Introduction: Why you need to interrupt her pattern...
• Goal of this phase is to capture her attention and snap her out of her ‘boredom trance’ • Laughter and smiling feels good scientifically • Your trying to get her to pay attention long enough to create an inkling of attraction • She’s got ADD. We all do. It takes an emotion to get us to focus in on something… (anger, surprise, laughingthink about if you’re flipping channels) • You’re trying to distract her from the hundreds of other thoughts flowing through her mind • You can also use this to quickly move her from one emotion to the next… Rob’s piss her off with a tap on her
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Phase 1 back… then make her laugh
Characteristics: What are the elements of this first phase
• You’re going for a smile not a belly laugh • Have you ever been in a fight with someone, and they say something just funny enough to make you lose your concentration and smirk...? • It has to be basic and can’t require her to have to think too much • It also must be self explanatory and can’t need a long set up to a punchline • It needs to be blatant. Subtly won’t work here • Remember, you’ve only got half her attention at this point… so its got to be obvious
PRO TIP: We’ll talk more specifically about going into a character in a later phase.. but something that will help is to put yourself into a comedic character… Barney from How I Met Your Mother is an example…
How you know it worked • She laughs • Giggles • Smacks you playfully • Playfully calls you a name
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Phase 1 Examples: What are some examples of phase one humor
• Unpredictability: Bordoux example • Radical Truth: “I’m trying to pick you up” • Playful Misinterpretations: “I’m wet.. I bet you are” • Pop Culture tie in: Mr. Belevedere
Mistakes to Avoid: What are some mistakes to avoid in phase 1…
• Using jokes that depend too much on her knowing you without setting up the expectation of humor • If you’re hanging out with a girl who’s known you for awhile this isn’t a problem.. but if you’re just meeting her she might not get it if it depends on your “character” • Jokes that kill the mood • My “lesbian” slip • Being too sarcastic or coming off as an asshole • The “I’m above you” attitude doesn’t work in first few minutes unless she knows you well. • Not going into humor quick enough • The longer you wait to introduce humor the harder it gets. This is because of “The Theory of Expectations”
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Phase 2: Establishing You’re A Flirt Maintained the first few minutes of the interaction; no matter if this is your first time meeting her, or you’ve hung out before, you should also re-establish yourself as a flirt early in the conversation...
H
aving a fun vibe is essential because it’s the “ultimate currency.” It’s why we go out to bars, clubs or pretty much any place that we can go out to have fun. It’s how we choose our friends and even why people drink or do drugs–because they want to have fun and are craving to be around people that allow us to have fun... Fun is the Ultimate Currency!
So let’s talk about how to make your conversations with women fun and funny. You have to begin the roller coaster ride of a conversation that creates an emotional response and leads to physical attraction–the kind that gets her to come home and follow you to your bedroom... so use the ideas, tactics, and techniques in this phase to establish that YOU ARE A FLIRT!
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Phase 2 When She Says Something Dumb or Starts Rambling...
I
f you learn to what women are saying and you get a feel for bantering then you’ll see that women give you all the material you can possibly need to get them laughing.
Here’s the thing though: once you establish yourself as a flirt women treat you that way (as I discussed in the introduction). When she does, she’ll unconsciously give you material to use. Here are a few quick lines to quickly get her to see you as a flirt. The best way to deliver the lines is to exaggerate how little sense she is making. This is a good time to be animated, and a slightly childish. • “Are you just making shit up as you go along?” • “It’s a good thing you’re pretty, because once the looks go you’ll be in trouble...” • “Let’s play a game. It’s called how long can you hold your breath.” • “You’re aware you’re still talking right?”
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Phase 2 • “I don’t know what you’re on but I am sure they offer rehab for it...” • “Bartender, I think you need to cut this girl off!” • “Now you’re starting to scare me...” • “You are a total blonde fluff ball.” Remember, you don’t want to come across mean or insulting with these lines. You’re just trying to be playful and fun. If done correctly, she will probably tease you or bust your balls a little. That’s a GOOD thing. It means she sees you as a flirt!
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Phase 2 Using Misinterpretation to Set Up A Flirty Vibe
I
n the last section, the idea of misinterpretation was introduced as a great way to break a woman’s state. You can also use misinterpretation to ensure she immediately sees you as a flirt...
You need to get really good at listening to things she says that you can use for misinterpretion material. The best kinds are sexual misinterpretations, but you can also misinterpret her as being ditzy, a bad ass, sex crazed, trying to impress you, paranoid, dorky, or even a cute little puppy dog. Anything you can do or find to misinterpret works because it sets a “romantic comedy vibe,” which is something you’re going to hear us mention often during this course. In Phase 2 though, you can take your misinterpretations even further by adding in exaggeration/absurdity and then repetition. All these comedy elements together create really powerful humor
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Phase 2 that you can use and reuse throughout your interaction or date. To do it right, let’s begin with exaggeration. You want to take the misinterpretation and make it even more absurd. Maybe you’re talking to a girl and she says she came out together with her girl friend. You can misinterpret it as if as she meant a lesbian girlfriend by saying, “Oh, you have a girlfriend. That’s so cool that you’re open-minded like that. Do you have more than one? Do they get jealous? I’m not going to get jumped by like ten jealous crazed softball players am I?” You took what she said (being out with her girl friend) and misinterpreted it as a lesbian relationship. You then exaggerated it by saying, “Do you have more than one? Do they get jealous?” Finally, you made it absurd by saying, “I’m not going to get jumped by ten jealous crazed softball players am I?” Later on, you can bring it back up, by saying, “I’m a little nervous I’m going to get beat up by your jealous softball-playing girlfriend...”
Misinterpret + Exaggerate (or Absurd) X Repeat
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Phase 2 You can do this with just about any topic you’re talking about, just listen for opportunities... For example, say you’re talking to a girl and she says, “Man, I really need a drink.” Well if she needs a drink, you can misterpret that as her being a raging alcoholic who’s going to beat her red-headed step child while streaking naked through Times Square wearing only a cowboy hat. Then you can just keep going back to it later, like if somebody comes over to talk to you guys, you can say, “You don’t have any step children do you? You better keep them away from her.” Or maybe she says she’s sick of guys. You can say something like, “You should draw a big smiley face on a pillow and carry it around and then just scream at people how they don’t understand the love you feel. Either that or you can get some cats.” And then later, bring it up again. (But ONLY repeat these sorts of teases if she laughed the first time!) Then later, if she’s talking about wanting to travel, you can go back to your original misinterpretation by saying something like, “So is that where you and the pillowcase are going to go on your honeymoon and make little pillowcases.” Just continue with this absurd, borerline-stupid humor. As dumb as it may sound now, it usually injects a fun and playful energy into the interaction. If done right, she’ll even begin to play along.
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Phase 2 Another way to misinterpret and exaggerate, and repeat is through “speculation,” which means you guess or presume why she did or said something. Say you’re talking to her and she calls you out on a pickup line by saying, “Oh that’s a good pickup line.” Here’s how you could speculate: “Oh, are you saying that because no one usually talks to you? Cute.” Or if she tells you, “I’m going to law school,” you could say, “Are you just saying that to impress me? Are you just trying to get me home?” And then later, to exaggerate it, you can tease her by saying, “Stop thinking about getting me home.” That example brings us to one of the easiest ways to execute this sort of humor, which is also a GREAT way to establish yourself as a flirt. You just begin a sentence with the phrase, “You’re just saying that because...” and then make up some absurd story that you can exaggerate and repeat. This is SO effective, we put it into a formula:
“You’re just saying that because...” + Absurd story
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Phase 2 Other good misinterpretions in this phase is when you finish statements for her. Say she says, “I’m going to go...” you can finish her sentence by saying, “...get me a drink?” Or, maybe she says, “For your information...” you can finish it by saying, “...That pet rock really was your best friend?” Another good one is when she says, “I hate that...” and you finish with “...you can’t wear pajamas to the bar and carry your stuffed animal friends around.” The more absurd, the better. As she starts to say something, jump in and finish it with something absurd. If she has a good response, go right into the old “misinterpret + exaggerate/ aburd x repeat” formula! The beauty of this is it gives you material you can go back to throughout the conversation.
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Phase 2 How to Mess With Her To Get the Upper Hand
I
n order to put her in her head and get the upper hand, it really helps to “bullshit her” a bit. This is so great because it shows her that you’re in control of the conversation. Women love guys who challenge them. Not in the, “I’m much smarter than you way,” but in a way that keeps them on their feet. You want her not sure if what you’re saying is serious or if you’re messing around. One way to do this is by testing her gullibility. At some point in the conversation I like to say something like, “I have to be honest with you, I’m married with five kids at home,” and see if she believes it. The great thing about that particular line is that it serves two purposes. One, it tests her gullibility and lets you mess with her a little bit, but you also get to see her reaction because, if you’ve established yourself as a flirt and then you tell her that you’re married, there’s SHOULD be a weird reaction from her. The more
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Phase 2 offended or shocked she seems, the more interested she is in you... and the better you’re doing at making sure she sees you as a flirt. Another way to mess with her is to play dumb when she’s explaining something. You can just keep saying, “Can you repeat that?” and, at first, she’s going to be thinking you’re serious and she’s going to repeat it. Eventually she’s going to catch on and be like, “You asshole.” Another great way to mess with her is by “escalating the absurdity.” Maybe she asks you to name something like the jobs you’ve had. You can start off with your normal jobs, like, “I used to wait tables, then I worked in a bank for a little bit, then I was the guy that who cleaned up the sperm at the sperm bank.” You start off normal and create an escalation of absurdity. This is what Rob calls “the 3-step and spin” move, which you can use when a woman asks you “interview-style” questions. Examples of an “interview-style” question is something like where you’re from or what you do for work. As tempting as it may be to answer these questions with real, logical answers, it’s your job as a man to make sure the conversation doesn’t get boring. Unfortunately, for most of us, we’ve gotten burned in the past because we let a conversation with a woman get TOO logical. She becomes bored and wants to leave...
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Phase 2 ....EVEN IF SHE WAS THE ONE TO BRING UP THE INTERVIEWSTYLE QUESTIONS! That bring said, you also don’t want to give answers that are completely off-the-wall and only get her emotional. You want a nice balance, which is 3 logical statements (“3-step”) followed by an emotional joke or tease (“and SPIN”). The “spin” depends on the humor element of unpredicability (mentioned in the introduction). Here are some examples 3-steps and spins:
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Phase 2 Don’t, however, mistake “3-step and SPIN” formula for a rule—it’s just a framework! Depending on the situation, you could make it a “1-step and SPIN” or a “5-step and SPIN.” All that’s important is striking a balance between logic and emotion. By ending a string of logical statements with an emotional tease, you keep the conversation lively and playful. Just be careful! If used too much it can come off as scripted and try-hard. Keep her guessing (which keeps her in her head!) by answering a few of her questions ONLY with emotional statements or ONLY with logical statements. Remember: unpredicability! Not only is “3-step and SPIN” an excellent way to volley her questions and keep things from becoming boring, you can also use it as a “conversational jujutsu” strategy, as well. If you’re telling a story or explaining something, and you catch yourself droning on with logic, simply add a “SPIN” to spike the conversation with emotion!
Real Answer + Real Answer + Real Answer + Absurdity
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Phase 2 Statement Formula to Overcome Friction & Get Her Laughing
O
nce you get in the habit of putting yourself on the offensive with women, you’re ALWAYS going to hit some friction. She might say something nasty, temporarily lose interest, or something might just go awry for a moment. This happens to every guy in every interaction... ...and most guys let it ruin their chances with a girl… ...the pro move, however, is to use these moments to get her laughing. This is huge. A big difference between guys who are good with women and guys who are NOT is this: can he keep his cool in moments of emotional friction? When a woman’s behavior suddenly becomes difficult does the guy make a big deal over it? Does he get frantic? Or can he transform that moment into something that will get her laughing?
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Phase 2 The easiest way to get women laughing in these situations is by using a specific statement. It’s what we like to call a “bumper statement.” We call it that because you don’t go along with her bad behavior or cave in to the friction... but you also don’t fight her objection…i nstead you BUMP it! The word “bump” is important because it’s not supplicating like a wimp, yet it’s also not being a hard ass like a dick—it’s somewhere in between. This is the sweet spot for attractive humor.Basically, she’s trying to put YOU in YOUR head and bump statements make sure you continue to pace the conversation. Here’s how to do it: the first half of a bumper statement is to AGREE with whatever she says. I know might sound strange, but if you disagree with her when she’s acting like this, it’s only going to create MORE friction. Since the purpose of flirting is simply letting things FLOW, you DON’T want anything to disrupt that. If she says your shirt looks terrible, you say it really does. If she calls you immature or dumb, you say that you couldn’t agree more. No matter what she says, your response is that she’s absolutely right. After you glide over the friction with an agreement, THEN you state your REAL opinion in an absurd or light-hearted way. This part might be a little tricky for guys who aren’t yet comfortable
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Phase 2 improvising on the spot. If that sounds like you, then you may find it helpful to have a few “go-to” bumper statements up your sleeve. Often guys who seem rock-solid confident (even when a girl is acting like a complete bitch) maintain their cool by having a few bumper statements in their back pocket to use in common situations. As an example, imagine you ask a woman for her a phone number and she says, “I don’t give my number out.” Some guys would freak out and start saying all sorts of weird things like, “Why not?” or, “Okay, then can I give you my number?” Weak. You, however, know to “bump” her objection with a cool, confident response: “Oh cool, I have the same rule. So we’ll make an exception for each other.” You’re not forcing an outcome by being a hard ass and trying to “coerce” her into giving up or number. Yet you don’t slink away with your tail between your legs like a wimp. Here’s the formula for bumper statements:
Agree with her objection + State your real reply in an absurd or funny way
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Phase 2 The purpose of bumper statements is to get her laughing, which moves you closer to your objective. Whenever you encounter a moment of resistance or friction, stay on your course—but also add some fun and playfulness to the vibe. Here are a few more bumper statement examples for common situations you’ll probably find yourself in. You might want to try a few of these or come up with your own bumper statements. She says: “I can’t kiss you! We just met!” Bumper statement: “You are so right, we should have a proper courtship first. But when you look so cute, how can you blame me?” She says: “You seem nervous, are you okay?” Bumper statement: “That’s because I totally am. My heart is practically jumping out of my chest because I finally found the only cute nerd in Vegas!” She says: “Are you drunk?” Bumper statement: “Fuck yeah! Drunk on being awesome!” Remember: this strategy is not built on hilarious lines. It’s built on staying calm and having a quick response on the tip of your tongue. While you may need to consciously remind yourself to apply the “bumper statement” strategy, don’t blow it out of
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Phase 2 proportion. Be chill about it and deliver the statement as if it’s a natural reflex. Note: Perceptive readers probably see how similar this is to the “If by _______ you mean _____, then yes!” template covered in misinterpretations in the last phase. Both templates hinge on twisting what she said into something that works in your favor. The major difference, however, is that the “If by ____” template is meant as a super quick, on-the-fly reply (because you’re using that to break her state, which often gives you very little response time). A bumper statement, on the other hand, requires a little more “verbal riffing.” You should be mixing and matching the various humor elements to really supercharge your bumper statements. (In three examples, notice how much “radical truth” is built into the responses.)
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Part 2: Establishing You’re a Flirt
Bantering
>”You and I aren’t gonna get along!” >”You guys aren’t tourists are you?” >”You usually hang out at the library don’t you?” >”Okay, Note to self: don’t date her...”
Tips
1. jokingly putting some sort of “barrier” between you (e.g, “a divorce”) is great for humor...but always wait until she’s interested in you first! 2. Make sure that she knows you’re being playful when you try lines like this!
U O Y She’s n you put roofies in my drink?” o Hitting >”Did >” Stop undressing me with your eyes...” >”You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger!”
Tips
1. The old “flip-the-script” comedy routine works great because it plays on reversed gender roles! 2. This humor works wonders when a girl knows you like her, but if you haven’t clearly expressed interest in her. avoid these lines otherwise she might think you’re gay!
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Part 2: Establishing You’re a Flirt
m e ss
ing with
r e h >“Now are you just making shit up
as you go along?” >”It’s a good thing you’re pretty, ‘cause once the looks go you’ll be in trouble...”
Tips
1. These sorts of lines work great on girls with high self-esteam who enjoy to be teased a little! 2. Anticipate some good comebacks because she’ll probably tease you a bit too when you say these lines.
s e n i l cran bet you have a real cute side ky or mean >“I somewhere. You just don’t show it!” >“love it when you talk mean to me!” >“We’ve got Grumpy Smurf hEre!”
Tips
1. This type of humor works best when a girl is acting up but sort of knows it. Great for girlfriends! 2. So much of the success or failure of these lines will rest on your delivery, so be sure to keep it playful!
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Module 2
Part 2: establishing you’re a flirt Why you need to establish yourself as a flirt
Goal of this phase is to set up the expectation that you’re hitting on her
Theory of Expectations
• How we imagine someone to be is how we’ll view them • If we think someone is funny we start laughing before they finish the joke • The sooner she knows you’re flirting, the more she begins to take your jokes as flirting • You’re also establishing that you are socially intelligent • One well-timed banter line displays a ton more social intelligence than any story you tell or thing you brag about
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Phase 2 You’re displaying that YOU are controlling the interaction
• When you sort of take the lead and bring things to a fun level you’re taking on the more dominant frame • She’ll follow your lead • You’re displaying confidence • To make a joke is taking a risk, asking her “where she’s from” doesn’t. So anytime you take a risk you’re showing her you’re confident enough in yourself. • The early create a humorous flirty vibe, the easier it is going forward • This comes back to the Theory of Expectations. But also, you can establish “threads” you can “call back” later and use throughout the interaction • You’re placing the conversation spotlight on the two of you • Ideally everything in this phase is about your reaction to her… and her reaction to you • The “sweet spot” is humor arriving from the situation. Telling funny stories is not really good in this phase.
Characteristics: What are the elements of the second phase
• A majority of the humor in this phase involves you teasing her • Tease her about characteristics not traits • Her bossy side
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Phase 2 • Her “blonde site” • Misinterpreting stuff she’s saying • Twisting her words
The humor here can have a little more bite to it
• “You’re a member of the Tea Party aren’t you?” • Nothing personal.. And if she says “yes, I am a member of the Tea Party…” don’t insult her or joke more about. Just nod your head slowly and say “I knew it” • You’re setting up a role that the both of you can act out later on • So say you made a joke about Tea Party.. which is very conservative.. you’re essentially giving her the role of conservative girl… that you’re trying to corrupt. The humor can then flow from that role. If you give her the role of being “bossy” you can come back to that later.
How you know its working
• She playfully calls you a jerk or an asshole • She’s trying not to laugh.. but can’t help it.
You must make a “Statement of intent”
• To “make her horny with humor” you must acknowledge at some point that is not simply a friendly conversation. • Something like “Your perfume is turning me on…get away from me” or “Don’t think that sexy smile is gonna win me over”
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Phase 2 Examples of Phase 2 humor
• Overcome shit tests • Respond to the ‘boyfriend’ objection • Respond to any objections she has about you • Avoid interview mode • Create the ‘you and me’ vibe • Bring up sex in a fun way • As a fun way to open her
Teasing: What to tease her on... • Bossy side • Blonde site • Paranoid • Wild side • Naïveness or gullibility
So say you’re talking to a woman and she tells you a story about how she reprimanded one of her co-workers for cutting in front of her at the copy machine. You could say: • Nice.. a girl with a bossy side. Are you one of those girls who throws a temper tantrum when she doesn’t get her way? • (Stomp your feet on the ground in mock temper tantrum) • That’s cool though. I like bossy girls. Just not in the bedroom. You don’t have any whips or chains hanging under your bed?
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Phase 2 More teasing Examples
• Call her dude: “Dude listen… (then whatever you were gona say)” good because it makes her wonder if you see her has one of the guys • You’re complicated: When she’s complicated or confusing. You can come back to this one later on • Accuse of her using “girl logic”- weird emotional decisions • I thought you were rich and could support me: Oh you’re still in school… know truss fund? Rich uncle?
Mistakes to Avoid
• Teasing vs. Being an asshole • Knowing when to drop the banter: Although you can keep throwing the occasional banter or tease throughout the night.. after establishing that you’re flirting you’re ready to move to next phase (which involves less teasing and bantering)
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Phase 3: Rapport through humor Create rapport and bond with her, using a milder form of humor; humanize yourself, share funny stories, and get her investing...
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f a woman doesn’t feel comfortable around you, she probably also will not feel comfortable sleeping with you. You can get women laughing and even get them horny using humor, but if you can’t also get her to see you as “a real person” then she’s eventually going to stop laughing and leave...and you’re going to go home with a raging set blue balls (true story!). That’s why it’s SO IMPORTANT you get her comfortable with you. And an easy way to do that while also keeping the vibe fresh and fun is to generate rapport through humor, which is Phase 3 of the Make Her Horny with Humor course! One of the first mindsets you need to adopt in order to do this consistently is to convey yourself (and your life) in a way that’s forthcoming, honest, a little vulnerable, while keeping it entertaining and funny. Girls usually call guys names like creepy, weird,
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Phase 3 douche, fake, etc. because these guys put up walls around their real personality and hide the true aspects of their lives. Just think of guys you know who are usually called these names. Often it’s because these guys act in a stereotypical way. If you’re acting like a stereotype, by definition, you’re not “being yourself” because who you are is inherently unique and non-stereotypical. That’s why you’re going to see less “turnkey” examples and lines in this section and more templates and ways to convey YOUR stories and YOUR personality. Still, on the audio and in this section you’re going to get plenty of examples. While you SHOULD pay attention to the concepts and ideas the examples demonstrate, you SHOULD NOT recite the examples as if they were scripts. If you do, you probably will NOT get a good reaction from women because you’re not Bobby Rio or Rob Judge. You’re you and so hopefully you’re excited to learn how to convey YOUR personality and identity in a fun, attractive way. And your absolute best materials for this phase is to be found in… SHARED EXPERIENCES! You are probably going to be sick of hearing about “shared experiences” by the end of the section, but it’s SO important we can’t emphasize it enough! By “shared experiences,” we’re re-
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Phase 3 ferring to anecdotes and stories that get her to feel or understand an emotion. Some topics that immediately should come to mind are childhood memories, funny stories that “just happened,” moments and characters from pop culture, and the story of YOU and HER (that will make more sense when you learn about the “Us Vibe!” in this phase!)… Now that you understand what most of your humorous rapport will focus on, let’s move into the specifics!
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Phase 3 Cool Vulnerability: The Secret Hack to Humorous Rapport
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efore we delve into to the techniques and templates for generating humorous and attractive rapport with women, you first need to accept a CRUCIAL attitude that will make you unstoppable with women, something we call “cool vulnerability.”
When you display cool vulnerability to women you make yourself stand out from every other guy who’s displaying the OPPOSITE of cool vulnerability, which is “uncool fronting.”
Uncool fronting is what happens when a guy is talking to a woman and he’s trying so hard to make a good impression on her that he only tells stories, makes comments, or behaves in a way that he thinks is portraying himself as super cool guy. Here are just a few symptoms of “uncool fronting”: • Exaggerating the details of a story so the storyteller appears cooler • Making a mistaken or doing something awkward and
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Phase 3 then hoping that a woman didn’t notice • Making a job sound more important than it really is • Only telling stories that end with something good happening to the storyteller • Desperately hiding a flaw At some point, we’ve all been guilty of uncool fronting. Since we all want to seem confident and charming and attractive to the women we’re interested in, we think anything that makes us seem vulnerable or appear uncool is going to cause her to think less of us. Ironically, however, THAT is actually EXACTLY what causes girls to lose attraction most of the time! Uncool fronting gives her the EXACT OPPOSITE impression of us, making her think we’re insecure and annoying. This is why girls flake, exit conversations (when she says the dreaded, “I’ll be right back!” and never does), or just avoids meeting up. Uncool fronting is unattractive in any phase of a seduction, but it’s especially detrimental when developing rapport. This is when you should be telling her stories from your life and bonding over shared experiences. So if you’re only picking stories that are flattering and/or make you look like a “cool guy” then you’re going to turn her off FAST. And, unfortunately, if you blow it in the rapport phase with uncool fronting it’s going to be near impossible to get a second
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Phase 3 chance. She’s just going to write you off as an insecure loser… ...ensure that never happens by displaying plenty of cool vulnerability. You do this by telling her a story that shows you in a vulnerable situation... or by pointing out a humorous mistake you made... or by simply shining a spotlight on one of your flaws… …and you always do it in a humorous way… Not only is she going to feel really comfortable around you because you’re “keeping it real,” she’s also going to see how rocksolid confident you are. A huge secret most guys never figure out is that confidence is NOT revealed during high points. ANY guy can appear confident when everything is going his way. TRUE confidence is on display when you’re faced with an obstacle or adversary and can maintain your composure. The epitome of “maintaining composure” is being able to make jokes. Think about the last time you were nervous or scared as hell…was making people laugh on the top of your list of things to do? In fact, Hollywood plays on this concept ALL THE TIME, especially in action and adventure movies. The reason Hans Solo cracks jokes even when his life is in danger is because that’s a very simple and direct way to show his character’s confidence and trust in himself.
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Phase 3 When you use cool vulnerability to generate rapport, it works like a “hack” because you describe an adverse/unfavorable situation, but do it in a humorous way. That demonstrates rock-solid confidence. (It’s like Hans Solo making jokes as he’s about to be frozen in carbonite!) While every other guy is busy uncool fronting, you’re not afraid to tell less unflattering stories because you’re THAT sure of yourself. Other guys might break into a cold sweat if a girl heard about the time they got “totally embarrassed,” but you not only TELL HER…you actually laugh over it! Some ways I display cool vulnerability on EVERY date I go on is by telling stories like: • The time I bumped into my ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend and it was super awkward • The time I got totally embarrassed in third grade when my whole class caught me in an elaborate lie • How much of a huge nerd I am Rather than avoid these topics, I actually BRING THEM UP! Oh, and if I EVER make a mistake on a date, say something stupid, act a little creepy or awkward, stutter, or even get nervous…guess what I do? CALL IT OUT! I make it into a joke. Rather than get nervous and hope she didn’t catch my mistake, I MAKE SURE she caught it!
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Phase 3 Once you see for yourself the attractiveness of cool vulnerability, be careful that it doesn’t get SO addicting that you start going into complete self-deprecating mode. Remember: you’re not putting yourself down or making fun of yourself… ....you’re simply seeing the humor in moments you were vulnerable and/or less-than-perfect.
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Phase 3 The 3½-Step Formula to Telling the Perfect “Funny Story”
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o generate REAL rapport during this phase, both you and her are going to be speaking a lot longer to each other. In the early phases of humor, the dialogue is pretty punchy and back-and-forth. When it’s time to generating rapport, however, you’ll give each other more “speaking time” to tell more personal information and deeper thoughts. The most obvious example is storytelling. While we can’t cover ALL the details of storytelling here, we can tell you where to locate your “funny stories” and then give you a simple 3½-step formula as well as a way to inject laughs and entertainment into your stories. Some of your best “humor through rapport” stories are your childhood/adolescent memories. Think about these moments from your life: • First kiss
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Phase 3 • Embarrassing moment from grammar school • Awesome high school teacher • First drunken experience • Scariest/craziest moment from childhood • First girlfriend • Things you thought were cool when you were a kid Most likely you have stories for all these ideas and you can safely bet the woman you’re speaking with does, too. As such, you will quickly and easily create a solid connection just by telling your story. (And if you sprinkle some humor into the story, it’s going to work like gangbusters!) Some guys don’t believe they can pull off telling a funny story, but it’s easy if you know how to approach it. It’s not like you’re delivering a best man speech or even a presentation at work…you’re simply reciting a personal—though humorous and entertaining—memory. Thankfully telling an entertaining and humorous story isn’t some impossible task. Once you have a “memory” or “moment” you want to share, you simple put it through our simple “3½-step template” then add humorous details (which we’ll explain in the next section)…and you’re ready to get women thinking you’re a charming and hilarious storyteller!
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Phase 3 The three-step template just needs your answers to three and a half questions about your “moment”: Step 1: The Situation (What did you want?) Step 2: The Complication (What was the “obstacle?”) Step 3: The Resolution (What ended up happening?) Step 3½: Is there a punchline?
What did you want + Conflict to that goal + Success/Failure of goal + Possible Punchline This formula is the “classic” joke formula: introduce a situation (“A woman and a duck walk into a bar...”), then a complication, which usually involves a conflict (“...The bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig....””) and its consequence (... The woman says, “That’s not a pig, that’s a duck...”), and end with the resolution (“...so the bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.””). With jokes, the resolution is the punchline. But don’t get it confused! Funny stories are NOT jokes. They just SHARE “3-act/step” formula with jokes. The “situation (act 1/beginning) > complication (act 2/middle) > resolution (act 3/ end)” formula! More importantly, not EVERY funny story needs a punchline (it’s only half a step afterall!). Most of your story humor will come from quirky details, funny phrases, and unex-
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Phase 3 pected “twists,” which will mostly be in the complication. An old screenwriting maxim explains the three-step formula as this: Put a character up in a tree (the situation), throw rocks at him (the complication), then get him down (the resolution). As you read more about the 3 steps below remain mindful that you’re NOT telling jokes. You’re telling stories. Now that you understand the basic “formula” let’s delve into more detail...
1. The Situation: “What did you (the protagonist) want?” Usually this is pretty obvious, if your story is about a first kiss then usually the answer to your question is a first kiss. However, if you want to take your story a level deeper, and make it EVEN FUNNIER, try to drill down a level deeper than the obvious to create an interesting (and funny) situation. Remember: less predictable/expected = more humor/laughter! For example, you may be telling a first kiss story, and obviously you wanted your first kiss, but WHY did you REALLY want that first kiss? • Maybe it was to impress your friends or to see what it was like, or... • Maybe it was because you finally wanted to kiss your crush, or... • Maybe it was during a Truth or Dare game and you
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Phase 3 didn’t want to seem like a nerd by “chickening out,” or... Bland stories are about the obvious. GREAT stories (the type that REALLY turn women on, captivate their attention, and get them laughing uncontrollably) go a level DEEPER than the obvious. You want the situations your stories set up to contain LOTS of anticipation for what’s going to happen next. Remember, since YOU are the main character of most of the stories you tell, you want a woman to CARE ABOUT the main character of your story (I mean, it’s usually you afterall!). And the BEST way to get a woman “to care” is by setting up a situation she wants to hear more about! That’s why you want to give “the situation” of your story careful attention and REALLY hone on and unexpected interesting motivation!
2. The Confrontation: “When you went after your goal, what obstacle did you encounter (a.k.a. conflict and consequence)?” Before getting into the specifics, let’s takes a moment to define “conflict” and “consequence.” A conflict is when a character is challenged, confronted, put on the spot, opposed, etc. Usually conflicts are what a character has to overcome when
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Phase 3 pursuing a goal. But in a humorous story, sometimes they can just be moments that add some comedy. Consequences are what happens NEXT, the result of a conflict. When you describe a character encountering a situation, does the situation go well or poorly? Did the conflict change your character’s motivation? Outlook? Goal? (After a conflict something SHOULD change!) And most importantly, what does your character do NEXT? Thus, a good story nothing more than a character wanting something that leads to a chain of conflicts and consequences, which ends in a final resolution (sometimes capped off with a punchline). Moreover, FUNNY stories often have one or more of these story elements: • An offbeat situation • A quirky character(s) • An unexpected twist(s) • A strange or awkward conflict • A funny “opponent” (someone who opposes your character) • Interesting/funny phrases • Humorous delivery (how you tell the story) A story about a first kiss where you smooched your junior high girlfriend at the end of a date isn’t a story. It’s simply a fact. As you know, the ying and yang of a STORY is the CONFLICT and CONSEQUENCE. The main character SHOULD encounter
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Phase 3 some sort of confrontation, which leads to a conflict, which results in some sort of consequence. Otherwise, you don’t really have a story. That doesn’t mean the confrontation needs to be some epic struggle or showdown Some stories will have such moments. But with a lot of your stories, you’re going to find your confrontation in more subtle (and less obvious) conflicts. For example, if your first kiss story seems as simple as smooching your junior high girlfriend at the end of a date, start racking your brain for what else happened… like: were you nervous before you kissed her? Did she have bad breath? Did you suddenly pop a boner right before it happened? Afraid her parents might catch you? Even if the “threat” was minor, adding conflict makes what you’re saying INTERESTING because it puts the main character’s goal in JEAPORDY. Will you or won’t you get what you want? And what will the consequences be? Again, the more time you think this over, the funnier your stories will be. If you think of a REALLY interesting, threatening, and/or humorous confrontation, your story is going to kick ass. But if your confrontation is obvious then your story will probably be uninteresting and, unless you add some REALLY humorous details, very unfunny.
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Phase 3 Really try to go back and “get into your head at the time.” Pinpoint the thoughts and feelings and fears and emotions you felt when the moment was happening. Anything interesting there? Hopefully the answer is yes! Pro tip: sometimes listening to music that you liked during that time in your life can “trigger” some material for your stories… try it! Once you have your confrontation, hold onto it for the next the section! Since this is the most important element of your story (and the part that you’re going to spend about 90% of the time on when reciting), it’s CRUCIAL you don’t just gloss over the conflict or simply state it like a fact, e.g., “I was really nervous before my first kiss because I didn’t know what to expect” Instead, to pack the most humor and emotion into your stories, pinpoint specific episodes, events, and scenes that SHOW the conflict. WORK THE DETAILS! For example, if you were really nervous before your kiss, using a detail or two to highlight that will make your story pop. For example, you might try to identify something that happened as you prepared yourself for the “unexpected”—like an event or scene—that REALLY demonstrates that. Like maybe your equally inexperienced friend thought it’d be
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Phase 3 a good idea you take a condom with you “just in case”…and so you had it in your pocket but right as you were about to kiss your junior high girlfriend the condom fell out of your pocket, she noticed, and freaked out. This scene is a bit ridiculous, but it’s to demonstrate a point: WHEN YOU THINK OF CONFLICT, THINK OF SPECIFIC SCENES AND MOMENTS! THINK OF DETAILS! Simply stating a confrontation is not very funny and certainly won’t evoke much emotion in a woman. A description, however, usually IS humorous and almost always gets women engaged in your story. So make a list of possible scenes, details, feelings, and moments that demonstrate your conflict. Don’t worry if everything you list isn’t good or funny. You can always leave stuff out, but it really helps the creative process to make a complete list so you have the luxury of choosing the details that have the best comedic potential (which we’re going to discuss in the next section, so hold on!)…
3. Resolution: “Did you accomplish your goal? (If so, what happened? What did you gain?) OR did you NOT get what you wanted? (If so, what did you get instead? What did you “discover?”)
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Phase 3 Every story needs an ending—especially humorous stories. Sometimes your humorous stories can end with a punch line (which is the half-of-a-step). For example, Rob has a story about trying to discover his nationality when he was a kid that ends with the line, “That’s when I realized that my grandma was crazy!” While a punch line is NOT necessary for a humorous story (which is why it’s only half a step), you should have some way to signal to a woman that your story is over so that she feels it’s her turn to share a story or anecdote from her life. Don’t sweat over your ending too much though. You’re not competing for some literary prize or trying to “shock” her with a crazy twist or unexpected ending. As you know, most of the “heavy lifting” of the story will take place in the middle, the confrontation. That’s where you’re going to add your funny details. That being said, it does help if your ending isn’t COMPLETELY obvious. For example, I’d probably rather hear the story about your first FAILED first kiss than your actual first kiss because the failed first kiss is probably funnier and more interesting. I know for myself, when a woman asks me about losing my virginity, since the REAL story is kinda bland and straightforward (lost it to my girlfriend when I was 17 at a house party…yawn!), I usually tell a quick SUMMARY of that story (very much like I
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Phase 3 just wrote it here) and then say... “But a better story is when I ALMOST lost my virginity in the back of a McDonalds’ parking lot…” and tell THAT story instead. Remember: you’re NOT really swapping facts about your life in this phase. While the facts are a nice bonus, the more important aspect of rapport through humorous storytelling is SWAPPING EMOTIONS. How I acted “the time I almost lost my virginity” is more telling of who I am than taking my girlfriend upstairs to a bedroom at a house party. In fact, a good exercise would be to go back through the last 3 steps and pick one or two “ALMOST stories,” where appropriate. (For example, your ALMOST first kiss, the girl you WISHED was your first girlfriend, etc.)
3½. Resolution: “Is there a punchline in this story (optional)?” Finally, see if there’s a way you can end your story with a joke or a witty phrase. Some places to look for punchlines are: • Something funny or ironic a “character” in your story said or did (e.g., “When we woke up the next morning, all my best friend Dan could say was, ‘I’m glad you
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Phase 3 only go to the prom once because that was the worst night of my life.’”) • A new attitude or stance (e.g., “That’s why I never went to another sleep-away camp...will never send my kids to a sleep-away camp...in fact, I’d lobby the government to ban sleep-away camps completely!”) • The irony of wanting one thing (step 1) but getting something else (step 3) (e.g., “Up until then, I thought G.I. Joe action figures were the shit, but that day made me realize girls are way cooler...even if I had to play with some Barbies to discover that!” The next section on details will make finding a punchline easier. But it’s important to remember: 1. Punchlines ARE NOT necesary...this isn’t a stand-up routine so much of the humor is going to come from your details! 2. If you are going to use a punchline, make sure it doesn’t suck...you might want to “test” your punchline out on friends before trying it on a woman. Sometimes what we think is a funny punchline isn’t and it could come across as try-hard and lame. Let’s look quicky at the 3-step thought process to tell a story in response to, “What did you major in when you were in college?” And, for this example, let’s say the guy had a unique major (fine art), here’s how his mind may work (diagram on the next page)...
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Phase 3
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Phase 3 How to Amplify Her Laughter 10-Fold with Effortless Details
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nce you have the backbone of your story mapped out with our 3½-step formula, it’s time to bring it to life with funny and memorable details. This section is chock-full of templates because we want to make this as easy and turnkey as possible for you. Still, you need to do your homework and brainstorm details that really pop. The more you tell your stories, the better your details will become. That’s why once you have a few good stories, get yourself in the habit of practicing them whenever you can—even if your audience isn’t a hot woman. The more you tell a story, the sooner you’ll know which details work and which don’t. That being said, here’s where add humorous details are to these elements of your story: Characters…the BEST characters to detail are either part of the conflict (e.g., a girl’s pissed off dad) or a catalyst
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Phase 3 to the resolution (e.g., your “wingman”). HOWEVER, don’t go overboard! Try and limit your character descriptions to ONE sentence that details the quality or characteristic most relevant to the story (unless the story is specifically about a character). Feelings…especially YOUR feelings during and/or after the conflict but describing other people’s feelings (or at least what you THINK other people were feeling) can be funny, as well. The EASIEST way to convey a feeling is through metaphor. A bystander or crowd’s reaction to the conflict…this can really provide good context to a story and inject some unexpected humor. Usually the crowd or bystanders’ reaction should contradict your feelings (e.g. if the story was about heckling a pitcher at a baseball game, the crowd should be on the side of the pitcher because that amplifies the conflict and humor of the situation) OR ELSE the crowd/bystander’s reaction should change due to action in the story (e.g., imagine if you told a story about “the worst prom date ever” where your prom date hooked up with one of your friends so you tried to drink away your sorrows, causing you to puke in the rented limo, which enraged the limo driver, and he tried to make you pay to have it cleaned but when you told him why you were so drunk he took you to McDonalds, bought you a Big Mac, and
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Phase 3 gave you life advice) The “when” of the story…sometimes the season, month, day, or the year that your story happened is important so it’s worth adding a detail to make it stand out, but sometimes it works to simply throw in “the when” because it adds some nostalgia (which generates rapport) as well as provides quick “stand-by” jokes you can recycle for any story in that time period (e.g., telling a story that takes place in the ‘80s and saying, “This was back in the ‘80’s when no one had stopped believing per the advice of Journey”). A place…sometimes WHERE something happened is important to the story. Keep the descriptions of a place VERY brief (unless the story is about a place). As with characters, the best way to detail a place is by highlighting the ONE aspect or quality of the place most relevant to the story (e.g., if you were describing a crazy dive bar from your college years, you might say, “This place was so lax on checking ID’s a note from my mom would get me in.”). Now…time for templates! Here are some ways you can supercharge your details so they get women laughing so hard, they can’t stop thinking about your stories (and, because of that, can’t stop thinking about YOU)…
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Phase 3 Metaphors/Similes…comparing one thing to another is the fastest and easiest way to jazz up your story details. This works especially well for quick character descriptions. The humor of a good metaphor lies in picking something that is incongruent, yet has a shared quality that makes sense. DON’T simply pair random things together! When you’re picking a metaphor think of the quality you’re trying to describe FIRST and then start thinking of ridiculous things/people/groups/etc. that (weirdly) share that quality. To add more humor, take it a step further by spilling some metaphor characteristics onto whatever you’re describing (In the example below, the old lady metaphor is spilled onto the friend character by adding: “…making sure he was asleep by 9pm to be well-rested for a big Saturday of clipping coupons and playing Bingo.”) Detail to convey: A friend who preferred to stay home on Friday and Saturday nights. • “Once the weekends rolled around, it was like he joined the old lady club, making sure he was asleep by 9pm to be well-rested for a big Saturday of clipping coupons and playing Bingo.” Detail to convey: An ex-girlfriend’s dog that hated you. • “This dog had a hatred of me that I’d only heard about in rap songs…my first run-in with a legitimate
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Phase 3 hater!” Plug-in Metaphor Templates... (Character) was/is a(n) (adjective, e.g. “male/female, old lady/old man”) version of (Metaphor, pop culture references works really well here, e.g., “Kanye West/R. Kelly”) because (quality shared) • “Tom is like a male version of Taylor Swift because that dude never shuts up about his ex’s!” (Character) is/was acting/behaving like a… (noun, e.g.,“diva/loudmouth” or complex noun e.g., “a fat kid told he couldn’t have seconds”) • “Whenever Tom gets a crush he acts like a 10-year-old boy who just got his first boner...out of control and totally desperate!” Quirky phrasings…peppering your stories with a few offbeat adjectives and phrases is a great way to add depth while injecting humor. Start looking out for good adjectives and phrases to use in your stories. Once you start looking, you’ll find an abundance of quirky adjectives and phrases in movies, books, and television shows. You can dress up your stories with these phrasal gems without much effort or thought at all…just throw them in when you want to get a laugh or make something in your story standout. Detail to convey: An elaborate date you planned for a
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Phase 3 girl when you were high school. • “I envisioned this date as being the most romantic date ‘in the history of romance!’” Plug-in Quirky Phrasings Templates... …the magic of… (activity being describing) • “Tom and I were enjoying the magic of 2-for-1 Happy Hour drinks.” (Scene you’re about to describe)…future high school students will one day study it like they now study Shakespeare. • “What happened to Tom and I that night was so epic that high school students will one day study it like they now study Shakespeare.” Pop Culture Tie…using pop culture to convey story details generates fast and humorous rapport. There’s plenty of guidance on how to use pop culture humorously in this course, but to convey story details, it’s often best to pair your pop culture references with an adjective and/or modifying word. Detail to convey: A cool high school teacher • “My English teacher in junior year of high school was like a non-drug addicted Tommy Lee.”
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Phase 3 Plug-in pop culture Tie Templates... (person described)...looked kinda like...(pop culture tie)...if...[delivery note: pause for comic effect](pop culture tie) gained about 200 pounds. • “Tom ended up making out with a girl who looked kinda like Katy Perry...if Katy Perry gained about 200 pounds.” (person/behavior described)...is like a...(pop culture tie)…without/instead of...(what pop culture tie is know for) • “Tom parked and we jumped out of the car like Batman and Robin, except instead of the Batmobile we were hopping out of a ’97 Honda Accord.” Emotional Equivalence…because our feelings are so abstract and personal, it’s hard for someone to really grasp where you’re coming from when you say, “I was mad” or “I was confused.” However, if you use a metaphor to clarify an emotion, suddenly what you’re trying to convey is more understandable. And if you pick a humorous metaphor, you can also make it funny. Detail to convey: Being at happy hour with your boss • “I just wanted to go home but my boss ordered another round of shots making me feel like the nerd in junior high getting peer pressure by the cool kids.”
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Phase 3 Plug-in emotional equivalence Templates... (Reason for physical pain)...feeling like I got into a street fight with…(funny person/group who could inflict pain) • “After two days of Cross Fit I woke up feeling like I’d gotten into a street fight with a gang of midget wrestlers.” …the sort of...(feeling)...I thought only existed in... (funny reference, pop culture or high art works well) • “Tom’s crush on Sally was the sort of unrequited love I thought only existed in Italian love sonnets or something of that nature.” Inflated Expectations…a great way to electrify step 1 is by inflating the expectations (the goal) because it adds humor when the conflict sets in or when reality contradicts the expectations. This works especially well for nostalgic childhood stories because it captures how innocent and naïve we all were at that time. Detail to convey: Your first school dance in high school • “I was so excited because I thought the Winter Formal was going to be this formal black-tie gala…” (Later in the story, to make it humorous, you should poke fun at how ridiculous your expectations were, e.g., “Little did I realize the Winter Formal was just a DJ playing Shaggy songs in a dusty gym to awkward 13-year-olds groping each other on the dance floor!”)
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Phase 3 Plug-in inflated expectations Templates... …I envisioned/imagined/expected...(an outrageously exaggerated depiction) • “The way Tom described Sally, I imagined her to be some undiscovered supermodel.” …maybe I was just optimistic/misinformed/too trusting, BUT...(description of a job , try to use verbiage that sounds like a very over-the-top job description) • “Maybe I was just optimistic, but I had thought this internship was going to be a serious workplace learning opportunity that would equip me with the skills necessary for a bright future in publishing…” Specifics…adding very specific details to your story accomplishes three very important things: 1.) it heightens the emotional impact, 2.) it makes the story more “real” (strengthening the rapport), 3.) and it can sometimes add humor. That said, there is one VERY big drawback to adding specifics: it can make your story boring! So don’t overdo specific. Sprinkling in 2 or 3 specifics is usually enough. Don’t go overboard and feel like you need to describe EVERYTHING. Try and pick out a few interesting/funny specifics. Detail to convey: The first car you wanted to buy • “I wanted this Camaro so bad…an ‘86 muscle car, cherry-red with black interior and it had this slight dent in the hood that looked like a devious smirk, making it even MORE AWESOME!”
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Phase 3 Plug-in inflated expectations Templates... …it was a (describe weather) day when…” • “It was a strangely very warm day in October when Tom and I decided to take a roadtrip upstate…” …I remember it cost (exact amount down to the cents)… • “Even though I didn’t even like her, I bought her a drink anyway and that round of drinks cost 14 dollars and 37 cents plus I left a 2 dollar tip, making it 16 dollars and 37 cents I will forever regret spending!” Finally if you’re going to brag…Sometimes you WILL tell stories where you come off as cool or awesome. While it’s not recommended you launch into these stories right away, sometimes if a woman asks about your job or your car or something else that is “brag-worthy” it’s okay to take pride in things you’ve accomplished... ...but to keep things humorous, maintain the rapport, and avoid coming off like a cocky douchebag make sure to immediately scale “the brag” back with something a little self-deprecating. (And don’t worry, she’ll still be impressed by your accomplishments, but when you scale it back with humor, she’ll also feel comfortable that she can relate to you.) Here are some ways to do that… A “…which is like…” joke... • “I went to college on a cross-country track scholar-
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Phase 3 ship which is like getting a free education in return for looking like I had an eating disorder for 4 years.” A “…so I guess that makes me…” joke • “I taught myself to code apps at my kitchen table which led me to start my company so I guess that makes me the biggest nerd you’re going to talk to for the next month and a half.” A “...but I didn’t do it because (douche reason)…I did it because (funny reason)” joke • “I didn’t buy a Maserati because I wanted to impress chicks or look cool, I did it because when I was 17-years-old my dad told me I couldn’t buy this red Camero I really wanted because he thought I’d regret wasting my money on a flashy car…so now that I’m 30, I’m proving him wrong by wasting my money on an even flashier car.”
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Phase 3 Create the “Us Vibe,” Role Play It, and She’s Yours
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uch of creating rapport through humor means creating inside jokes between you and a girl. Sometimes when you’re interacting with a really funny or witty girl, she’ll establish some good jokes but most of the time, it will be YOUR job to create that vibe. And probably the easiest way to do this is by “getting her on your team.” That means getting her to feel like the two of you can retreat in your own private “universe” of inside jokes and funny phrases, leaving the rest of the world behind. This is starkly different from the humor in some of the other phases. Earlier in an interaction, when you’re teasing and bantering with her, a lot of the tension comes from a “you versus her” dynamic. You might joke that you and her will never get along, and often that gets girls giggling and flirting.
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Phase 3 Later though, you NEED to shift gears and make it about you AND her together (the next section, on “Partners in Crime,” hammers this idea in, as well). It’s really important to drop the cockiness about yourself and instead get cocky about you AND her together. For example, one the easiest ways I’ve found to do this is by saying to a girl, “If we had a lovechild, it would be ridiculously good looking. Seriously, it’d be like a little Zoolander!” Notice how I don’t come out and say, “Hey I’m so good looking” nor do I say, “You’re so beautiful.” Instead, I combine BOTH statements, which makes it a “US,” and then I brag on OUR imagined future lovechild. Even though that example is brief, it really encapsulates everything you need to do when establishing an “us vibe.” Now an “us vibe” is powerful in itself, but if you REALLY want to supercharge the effectiveness of it and amp up the vibe, you can “riff” on the “us-statement” you made using role playing. So, as an example, if you told a woman you’d have a ridiculously good-looking Zoolander baby together, you could take it a step further by saying, “Yeah, it’d be soooo good looking, we’d need to think of a super good looking name! Like if was a little boy, we couldn’t just name it something boring like ‘John’ or ‘Dan’…we’d have to give him a ridiculously good-looking name like…hmmm….what do you think is a ridiculously goodlooking name?”
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Phase 3 When she answers, you can keep reminding her of your super good-looking baby by name. Every time you do, she’ll be reminded of the bond you two have. You can also use the situation to generate role plays on the fly. And the formula is super simple:
“Us-Vibe” + What You Want to Do + Details or Activites Related to What You Want to Do So, imagine you and girl were chatting for a while, and you wanted to go for a kiss…a way you might use a humorous role play to do that would be: “Wow, you’re awesome. In fact, you’re so awesome, I wish you were my first girlfriend so the bar high would have been set high for all my future girlfriends. Like, I wish we could just get in a time machine, go back to the year 1986 where we’d both be three-years-old and then you could be the first girl I’d ever ask on a date. And our date would be so badass. I’d pick you up on my Big Wheels and I’d ride you to the playground. I’d totally push you on the swing and then later, under the seesaw, we’d have our first kiss. It’d be so amazing, it’d just be
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Phase 3 like… (and then you lean in for the kiss!)” This role play may sound elaborate, and you might be thinking that you’d never be able to generate such role plays on the fly…but it’s easier than it seems. All you need to do is think about specifics. The first time I ever said that role play (and it was all improvised on the spot), I just started thinking about things I did when I was kid. So I thought: • Big Wheels • G.I. Joes • The Playground And then once those details popped into my head, I drilled down to more specifics: • What is there to do on the playground? • If I were on a date on the playground, where would we have our first kiss? You can think out loud as you come up with these details. In fact, that’s part of the fun (and humor!) of role playing. It’s even better when she chimes in and adds her details and thoughts because that reinforces the “us vibe”!
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Phase 3 The Searing-Hot “Partners in Crime” Technique
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discovered the “Partners in Crime” technique about ten years ago when I was working in a restaurant. There was this guy, Marty, who wasn’t particularly cool or funny, but he had women wrapped around his finger. The minute he showed up for work, they would rush up to talk to him. He was always sleeping with a couple of them and I wanted to know what he was doing. So instead of being bitter and jealous, I decided, “Why don’t I become friends with this guy and really just learn from him?” So as I got to know Marty, what I found was that the guy was quite addicting to be around. In fact, he went on vacation this one time for a week, and while he was gone, work just wasn’t the same, and I realized that I was missing Marty and so were all these other girls I was working with. I thought about it and I was like, “If I didn’t show up for work one day, would the girls miss me?”
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Phase 3 And the answer, sadly, was no, they wouldn’t. So what was Marty doing? What kind of attitude did he have that created this sort of addictiveness and loyalty by all these girls? What I found was that Marty created this vibe of you and me against the world and that’s sort of the vibe you want to keep in mind:
Vibe = You + Me / Against the World
What Marty would do was, he would be playing secret pranks on co-workers and have inside jokes about certain customers that would come in. When the customers showed up, he would come over and catch her eye and make the face, pointing at the joke. He always would be goofing around and it would always be the both of us getting yelled at by the boss, only later to talk
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Phase 3 crap about the boss later on together. He just created this you and him against the world vibe and that’s one of the best ways to establish rapport through humor: make the “inside jokes” you guys share about you and her against the world. Inside jokes and secret handshakes are great at cultivating this vibe (I highly recommend inventing or stealing a good secret handshake). Have you ever met someone that had a really great one? Learn it and then repeat it like it’s yours. Or if you can’t figure on out yourself, you can Google around and you’ll find one. Also, watch the show The Office, not the recent ones, go back and rent season 2 and season 3 and watch how Jim and Pam interact with each other. This is probably the best demonstration you’ll ever find for this partners in crime technique of playing pranks together against people, while creating that inside joke between the two of you. Another concept and technique that I like to do is to create a mission. Say you’re waiting for something that you and the girl kind of connect on, you can use it to create a sort of secret mission, like, “This is going to be our mission. We are going to steal shots.” Maybe you’re at a bar and you make a mission that the two of you are going to steal shots and you make her the lookout, so
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Phase 3 now you are sort of combining against the bar, as the two of you try not getting caught by the bartender or bouncer. You are together in this mission. The mission could also be just some imaginary role play. For instance, say the two of you are talking about Cavarici’s. If you grew up in the 80’s, you know what Cavarici’s are. Maybe the two of you are talking about Cavarici’s and how much you used to like them. You can make it your mission and say, “Let’s make it our mission to bring Cavarici’s back,” and you can sort of role play out this idea of the two of you together making this certain brand of clothing cool again, or this certain hairstyle. Whatever it is, you are looking to find something to be your mission. Another way to use the “partners in crime” technique is to find a common enemy. For example, a drunk guy that’s bothering a girl at the bar. While she’s talking to him, you can give her like the help me eyes. Even back in college, my buddies and I, we used to have this thing called help me brother. If we were getting stuck in a corner talking to a girl we didn’t want to be talking to, we would like cross our arms to give the help me brother sign, and it meant that the guy had to come and save you. If you teach a woman that, saying something like, “Hey this is the help me brother sign,” and you have her do it, now when
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Phase 3 she’s talking to a guy, you give her the help me brother or if you’re talking to a girl you can give her the help me brother sign, and now it just creates that familiarity with each other. Creating a common enemy could be something as simple as bashing a TV show that you hate. Maybe you both hate the Jersey Shore or going to the DMV–you can just talk shit about it. A question I like to ask a girl to is, “Who is your nemesis?” and it always gets the girl talking about her archrival. Now you two can plan a scheme to get back at her nemesis. For me, one of the things I hate is people who use finger quotes or people who say things like LOL or BRB, they talk in text talk. Those sort of things, I love when I talk to a girl and we both can like rant about it. That’s another way to do the “partners in crime” technique: find something the two of you can rant about. You can also create the partners in crime vibe by using other people as props. It could just be an unsuspecting person, maybe there’s a guy whose got a mullet standing by and the two of you are singing ‘80’s songs to see if you can get his attention. When I used to work at that restaurant, one of the things that I did once was there was a fishbowl with business cards in it and the idea was that you would pull out a business card and whoever’s card you pulled out, wins a free lunch. So what me and one of the girls did one day is I got her to take turns just
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Phase 3 calling every single customer up and telling them that they won the free lunch so now our work the next day had like 20 people coming to claim the free lunch and her and I the whole time were just cracking up together, like just dying, and it just created a really good vibe between us. Another example was this one time when I was at a bar and my crazy ex-girlfriend showed up. The girl I was talking to at the time, I made it her job to hide me from my crazy ex. Just fun things like that create that partners in crime mentality. Now if you still don’t fully understand the “Partners in Crime” technique, like I said, go back and watch season 2 and season 3 of The Office (the American version for you people over living in England) and you’ll get a real good idea by watching how Jim and Pam interact about how to create the partners in crime vibe.
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Phase 3 Pop Culture Makes Humorous Rapport so Easy a Caveman Could Do It
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hat’s so great about pop culture is that it connects all of us and gives us cast of characters we all know, moments we all remember, and jokes (most of us) find funny. If you can’t see how this can generate instant rapport with a stranger, you’re just not thinking hard enough! In fact, pop culture might the fastest, safest, and EASIEST way to establish rapport with a girl you just met… …or a girl you’ve been on a few dates with… …or even your longtime girlfriend! With pop culture, you can draw from a wide range of topics both you and a woman understand! This is SO MUCH better than trying to force rapport by using
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Phase 3 “interview-style questions” like: Where are you from? What do you do? What did you study in college? ZzzzzZZZ Boring! Instead, get in the habit of sprinkling pop culture references into your interactions with women and you’ll see a BIG difference in response! As we discussed in Phase One, pop culture is great for breaking her state… but it works EVEN better during rapport! Women usually feel strong emotions for their favorite celebrities, movies, songs, etc. While they won’t feel awkward talking about these topics, they WILL feel emotions. That combination of emotions without risk is crucial for establishing effective rapport! Though, be careful: make sure you’re establishing rapport over topics you BOTH understand. For example, many women do not know sports very well. So, while men often establish rapport with other men by discussing sports, women are not usually familiar with athletes or sports facts. It’s much better to discuss things like television, movies, and music with women. For instance, if you lived in the United States and grew up in the 80s, then you probably remember
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Phase 3 shows like “Saved by the Bell,” “Full House,” “Family Matters,” and “Fresh Prince of Bel Air.” Regardless of gender, almost ANYONE in the U.S. who grew up in that generation understands these shows. So if I’m establishing rapport with a girl around my age, I know bringing up one of those shows will probably get her emotionally excited. It’s important to size up a situation fast, and then adjust accordingly. People often know characters and personalities from pop culture better than some of their acquaintances. That gives you an unlimited number of ways to connect with strangers as simply as if you were discussing old friends. And this concept works throughout the interaction. At any point, you can make a comparison to pop culture to get a laugh, make a point, or just do it because you feel like it.
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Part 3: Rapport Through Humor
The “ would spawn the most insanely Us-Vibe” >“We good looking offsping together!” >“We’re both smart people so...” >”You like me, so obviously you have good taste in men!”
Tips
1. When you’re making a comment about you and her together, it’s perfectly okay to be a little cocky! 2. sometimes the more over-the-top and arrogant your comment is, the more funny it will be
e Part m i r any creepy girls hit on me toners-in-c >”If night, you have to protect me!”
>”Let’s make Cavaricis cool again!” >”Okay, you’re in. I can show you the secret handshake...”
Tips
1. If she feels like the two of you are “on the same team,” you did it right 2. she wants to feel like she’s “in” on something or that you and her have a connection the rest of the world doesn’t understand!
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Module 2
Part 3: Rapport through humor Introduction: Why you bond with her? To “humanize” yourself
• You’re not just a random guy • You’ve experienced similar things as her • You’re “like her” (weapon of influence) • Its harder to reject a guy who she sees as a human • You want her to see you as a real person and not just some random guy she’s attracted to 3-dimensionalize yourself
You’re sharing experiences and giving her a chance to connect with you
• The more she shares back, the more invested she becomes
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Phase 3 • Her ego gets tied to your approval • Sharing feels good (especially for introverted girls)
You’re letting her relax a bit and let her guard down
• During the previous phase she knew you were flirting so her guard was higher • Relaxing relieves stress and feels good • Being comfortable with someone feels god • “Unmaking”…taking off the social mask
Characteristics: What are the elements of the third phase • This is a milder form of humor more designed to connect with her • Where previously you were laughing “at her”… now you’re laughing with her
You’re trying to use humor to bring in “shared experiences” you can connect over • Childhood memories • An embarrassing story • Observations and commentary on surroundings
Remember to mix some teasing in but...
• You’re also trying to get her to open and feel comfort-
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Phase 3 able around you • Its working when she tells you a funny story about her childhood… or displays some vulnerability to you
Don’t be afraid to let a little bit of your “dorky” side out Display “cool vulnerability”
• You’re essentially giving her permission to do the same • Telling her how you got caught singing along to a Madonna song in your car • How your eight year old cousin beat you in a arm wrestling match.. • How you were showing off… and then faced an embarrassing consequence
Examples: What are some examples of Phase 3 Humor
• Pop culture references • Observations about your surroundings • Nemesis’s • Creating imaginary missions • Funny stories of your past (my sleep away camp incidents)
Mistakes to Avoid: What are some mistakes they can avoid in phase 3
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Phase 3 • Too much rapport • Not moving things towards sexuality once rapport has been established
Thinking on the Fly: How to create phase 3 humor
• Facebook’s 10 second interview application… practice answering questions • Mind map ideas
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Phase 4: Take Her Back to the Playground Get her to revert back to a school girl, laughing on the playground with her crush; she’s not thinking about work, responsibilities, or repercussions of hooking up...
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he expression “take her to the playground” sums up a specific style of humor you will find very effective in making women horny—especially in the later stages of a seduction. Ideally, you want to get her to feel as if she’s back on the playground with you, like two kids in the fourth grade, teasing each other and just having fun. While it may sound strange or even childish, when you take her “back to the playground” you give her the opportunity to let her guard down so she can really enjoy herself. In fact, this phase comes AFTER rapport because a woman has to feel comfortable around you BEFORE she can let herself go with playground humor. Not only is this style of humor is incredibly effectively in stoking a woman’s attraction and “priming” her for the firth and final
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Phase 4 humor phase (sexualized humor), but it also works great with girlfriends or girls you’re dating. One of the reasons playground humor works so well is because it has so much attractive subtext. You’re going to see this firsthand when you “playfully bully” a girl or you bond with her as the two of you complete a game or mission. By letting her get in touch with the “childlike” side of her personality (note: we did NOT say the “childish” side) she’ll have an experience that so few other guys have ever given her. This is where you get her to revert back to a school girl, laughing on the playground with the guy she has a crush on. She’s not thinking about work, responsibilities, or repercussions of hooking up with you. While you need to be cautious with playground humor, since it can be misinterpreted as immature if misapplied, once a woman feels some rapport with you it’s an appropriate time to sprinkle in a healthy dose of playground humor. You’ll see how quickly a woman warms up to this style of humor as well as how comfortable it will get her, particularly with her sexual feelings.
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Phase 4 Using Playful Bullying to Turn Up the Sexual Tension
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hile no one likes a bully, stealing a few “bully moves” and applying them in a good-natured way will work wonders when taking her back to her playground days.
As you probably know, childhood bullies are respected (usually through fear) and get their peers feeling tense and self-conscious. While it goes without saying that you DO NOT EVER want a woman to feel “fear” around you, getting her momentarily on her toes is a fantastic way to dial up sexual tension. That’s why stealing a move or two from the “bully handbook” is so effective. Again, to absolutely make sure this concept isn’t misapplied, we want you to notice how we SPECIFICALLY titled this tactic “PLAYFUL Bullying” (with a big emphasis on the PLAYFUL!). If it’s not completely obvious that you’re playfully bullying her in good fun, you can easily across off as a dick—which is definitely NOT an impression you want to make on a woman you’re
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Phase 4 attracted to! So always keep it more on the playful spectrum! That said, you’ll see how well mixing in some playful bullying works when you’re trying to inject tension into your interactions. Below we’re going to list and describe some easy ways to flirt in a playfully bullying way. First though, let’s define EXACTLY what playful bullying entails so you understand the umbrella under which all these tactics fall. Acting as a “playful bully” means you do or say things that put her on the spot and/or challenge her. If she’s “defending” herself or working to overcome a lighthearted obstacle you’ve created for her, that’s a great start. Just make sure she’s smiling or laughing the whole time. Obviously you never want to take this too far so that she’s angry, frustrated, scared, or actively struggling against you. That’s why playful bullying is best applied after you’ve established a flirty vibe with lots of back-and-forth teasing. You also want to be sure you have plenty of time to get her sexually aroused. One of the worst times to try this style of humor is when a woman is either about to leave or (worse) trying to leave. Using playful bullying in an attempt to “keep” a woman talking to you or stop her from leaving will not only backfire and make her want to get as far from you as possible, but it’s also not playful at all. At that point, it’s actual bullying. (Sometimes it may seem like we go to great lengths to de-
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Phase 4 scribe what NOT to do, and it probably seems stupidly obvious. Yet, we feel obligated to make it crystal clear how these concepts can be misapplied. I’ve personally seen a number of guys try and “bully” girls into continuing conversations with them...) Now that you understand the RIGHT way to apply this technique, let’s move into some specifics. To begin, there’s an old expression that states, “If it was fun when you were in a kid, it’s fun today.” That means things that were exciting and enjoyable as a kid are fun when you bring them back. Some instant ways to do this are: • Grab her hand and challenge her to a thumb-wrestling match • Challenge her to a pillow fight • Challenge her to a few rounds of truth-or-dare • Try to teach her a “secret” handshake and joke about how bad she is at it • After a high-five, tell her she needs to work on her high-fiving skills If you try the examples above and a woman laughs or smiles but hesitates to comply, that’s a great opportunity to apply some light-hearted “peer pressure.” I like telling her that all “the cool kids” are doing it and unless she wants to eat lunch by herself, she should get involved with whatever you’re suggesting.
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Phase 4 Another way to playfully bully her is by “telling her” what she’s going to get. The best application I’ve ever seen of this technique actually came from a married friend of mine. My buddy’s wife said she was hoping “Santa” was going to bring her a Tiffany’s bracelet for Christmas and, without missing a beat, my buddy replied, “Nah. Already spoke with Santa. You’re getting coal.” It was great. An easy way you can do this is if you’re out at a bar or on a date, ask a woman what she wants (e.g., a drink) and then say, “Nah, you’re getting (something really bad) instead.” In the drink example, if a girl said she wanted an Appletini, I’d probably say, “Nah you’re getting a glass of cheap Scotch in a dirty glass.” (Of course, you order her whatever she really wants. You’re only playfully pretending she’s getting something gross.) Moving on, a “classic” playful bullying move is to block her path when she’s trying to go to walk somewhere. All you need to do is get in her way, like when she says she’s got to go to the bathroom or get a drink. Another great move is to jokingly instigate a fight between her and someone else, like maybe you say, “Oh wow, this girl was just talking some serious smack.” Always be sure to do it in a joking way so everybody knows it’s all in good fun. The point is simply to get some fun drama going between her and one of her friends or someone she knows.
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Phase 4 If you’re out at a bar, a funny move is to take her hand and touch a guy’s butt. For me, I usually do this when I’m comfortable with a girl and notice a guy standing in a crowded part of the bar, preferably a weird old man because that always makes it funnier (if it’s just a normal guy, it’s not that great). All you have to do is take her hand and put it on the old guy’s butt so that he turns around. It will drive most women crazy. Just the other night I pulled this move and the girl said, “I hate you”…and that’s exactly why I knew it worked. (A girl only says, “I hate you” to a guy she’s attracted to…) Finally, some old-fashioned teasing works great in this phase. Telling her that the way she’s standing makes her look like the “dorky wallflower in the corner.” And if you spot an awkward guy who looks out of place, you can add something about how that’s she has a crush on. This sort of teasing lends itself well to repetition because you can bring it up throughout the night. Just keep pointing out the guy and say, “You should just go over and talk to him. I’ll introduce you if you’re too nervous to do it yourself…” Hopefully these tactics give you a good overview of how playful bullying works!
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Phase 4 Play “Games” to Mix Playground Humor with Rapport
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ames not only are great for creating humorous moments with women, but they also really get women feeling like you think they’re special. Before a woman will sleep with you, she HAS to feel like you genuinely like her. Unfortunately, most guys don’t know how to do this. Making a woman “feel special” DOES NOT mean acting like a wimp or kissing her ass. In fact, it’s actually better if you DON’T do that. Keep things subtle instead. Give her a feeling of “us-ness”—that you and her together make a unique couple. (Remember the “us-vibe”!)
A very fast and highly effective way to do that is to create games and “conspiracies” that only the two of you understand. Similar to an “inside joke,” the conspiracies you create should be things only the two of you are “in” on. If she feels she shares a set of secrets with you—even if those secrets are completely trivial— then she’ll feel as if you’ve let her into a part of your world reserved only for her.
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Phase 4 That’s the essence of making a girl feel special. The games you’ll use to create these conspiracies may seem superficial and pointless (as they should). Remember: you’ve probably only known her for short period of time. Playing games with her isn’t about getting deep with your feelings— it’s just about generating more rapport. And to create the feeling you want, it’s better to keep things light and playful. The best conspiracies are created using: The situation—games about what’s going on around you at the time The people watching—playing games that involve other people Your “togetherness”—games involving the two of you together Though, trying too hard to “shoe-horn” a game or a conspiracy in an interaction often comes off as weird and try-hard. Remember, playground humor only should happen during Phase 4. On the next page you’ll find 3 simple games you can use to create conspiracies. Just to make the point of playing games clear, allow me to explain with a story. One night, I’d just met a girl who was fun and outgoing. We started teasing one another about “who was more awesome.” To settle our “dispute” I suggested “a challenge.” I said, “I’m so awesome, I
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Phase 4 can get a high-five without even asking for one or putting my hand up. You can’t do that.” She laughed and dared me to try. So I tapped some guy on the shoulder and said, “You voted for Obama, right!?” The guy smiled and said, “I did!” and put his hand up for a high-five. My girl thought this was hilarious, so she tapped some girl on the shoulder and said, “Hey, do you remember Spring Break 2007?” The girl just gave my girl a blank stare and then turned away. We both got a good laugh over it. For the rest of the night, we named those 2 people “Obama Guy” and “The Girl Who Hates Fun.” We even tried to introduce them at one point! The “conspiracy” we shared made our night interesting and created a fun activity that connected us and brought us closer. The point of creating a conspiracy isn’t the actual game—it’s the emotions that are embedded into the game. Sharing those emotions together will bond you and a woman very fast. Here are some “games” to try:
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Phase 4
Yet, games don’t even have to this complicated. You can just play hot hands or truth-or-dare (as mentioned in the last section). Another great game is mouse race, where you play the three mice running and you draw on her arm and she tells you to stop and you don’t stop because one of the mice is deaf. It gets her really mad and creates a playful vibe. An old “classic” game to play is “Fuck, Marry, Kill”. It’s simple: just ask her to point out guys that she’d fuck, marry, and kill. Once she finishes, you do the same with girls. This is a great
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Phase 4 game to play in bars because you can just point out strangers. And it works even better when you play at a party where the answers are more of a “secret.” Before playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” though, be sure to say, “Excluding us, of course” so it doesn’t seem like you just asked her to get her to admit she’d fuck or marry you. Likewise, you don’t have to say you’d fuck or marry her. (You can playfully say that you’d “kill” her…but do it in a playful way, like, “I’d pick you to kill…because I can’t make up my mind if I want to fuck you or marry you and it’s driving me crazy!”) Point is this: staring contests, rocks-paper-scissor, thumb wrestling–it’s all good. Fake palm reading is another fun example. If you’re going to palm read and do it in a serious way, it’s kind of lame. But if you take it and make it fun by turning it into a joke, it becomes a playful game. As long as you keep it fun, she’ll enjoy it!
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Phase 4 Callback Humor Amplifies the “Playground Effect”
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nother aspect of playground humor that really works well is the idea of repetition. Kids do this when they are little, constantly repeating things over and over again. Well, you can continue to repeat some things, like a silly rumor or a false accusation, in order to add that playground playfulness to your conversations. Here’s an example of something that I did recently. I was talking to a girl about how many people we had slept with. She told me that she had slept with four. I was like, “I know that this is Cosmo math and you have to double whatever a girl says, so if a girl says four it really means eight.” So for the rest of the time that I knew this girl, I would always go back to that little joke by saying things like, “So who was the eighth guy?” and I would name them and try to guess who number eight was. It was just a funny thing that I always went back to: that she slept with eight guys even though she swears she
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Phase 4 slept with four. Or say you’re talking to a girl and she moves the chair and it squeaks and sounds like a fart, but you both know it was just the chair. You can say, “Did you just fart in front of me? Are we that comfortable with each other where we can just fart in front of each other?” Most of the time, she’ll be like, “Oh no,” and you can keep going back to it and repeating the accusation. Maybe later on, somebody else comes into the group, you go, “Hey. This is Jessica. She may or may not have just farted in front of me, so you might want to stay away from her.” You’re just bringing back the joke and repeating it for extra effect. You can even use callback for the sort of silly humor that was funny ON the (actualt) playground. Perfect example of that “silly” sort of humor: the old “You’ve got something on your shirt” gag. This is something we’ve been doing since we were 5 years old and it never gets old. Never. You point at a girl’s shirt and you go, “You’ve got something on your shirt,” and then she looks down. The minute that you do that, you’re taking it to the playground and she’s thinking, “Okay. He’s that kind of guy. It’s going to be that kind of interaction with him.” If used at the right times, and not too much, this works great in this phase of humor.
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Phase 4 Dumbing Your Humor Down to the Playground Level
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owbrow humor is the dumber side of playground humor, which has you sort of playing the “dumb” guy. Examples of this are doing things like stating the obvious. If you see a girl crying in the corner, you’d say, “Do you think she’s sad?” You’re just basically saying something that’s stupid funny. Another example might be if a girl is really short and you say, “You’re kind of short.” You’re just stating the obvious, which, if done in moderation, is funny. Absurdity is also works great for lowbrow humor. An example of absurdity applied to playground humor might be massively exaggerating a number. If a girl asks you how many girls you have slept with you can say, “6,493. Or was it 6,394? I don’t know if I should count her...” You can also describe things in absurd ways. For example, describing animals talking or people doing bizarre things. For example, say you’re talking about your dog, you might describe
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Phase 4 him like this: “Yeah my dog is the best. He’s got a thing for dry humping, especially dry humping pillows. He even has threesomes. He’ll take two pillows and go back and forth with them. Then he smokes a cigar afterwards. He’s crazy.” Another way to apply lowbrow humor is playing the “stupid guy.” For example, you can use the wrong usage of words to add in that lowbrow silliness, like, “He’s the very pineapple of politeness,” instead of pinnacle. Just say things that are blatantly wrong to mess with her a little. To really get a feel for this style of humor, watch Ali G. That’s the perfect example of “stupid funny.” Don’t overdo it, though. Everything suggested in this section should only be used sparingly, and in a balanced way. Yet don’t hold yourself back from trying some of these ideas if you find them amusing or they resonate with your personality/humor. It’s all about creating a fun sort of vibe with women. Most guys shy away from “playground humor” because they want to seem “cool.” Yet, you already know, trying too hard to be cool makes you come off cold and boring. I had that problem for a really long time, partly because I was scared to ever take things back to the playground. It may be counterintuitive when you take it to the playground and showing this “lowbrow side” of yourself, but it actually can be really attractive when you get comfortable with it.
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Phase 4 For starters, it gets girls to realize, “Wow, this guy isn’t trying to impress me.” While most guys scramble to “impress” attractive women, she’ll see that your confidence and trust in yourself allows you to “just be yourself,” even if sometimes you come across dorky. Not only that, when you act a little dorky it lets her see that dorky side of herself–and you want to let out that side of her. I know it might sound counter-intuitive that you want her to show you her dorky side, but when you have a girlfriend or are in any type of relationship, a lot of it IS her dorky side. When you’re lying in bed with a girl in the morning, a lot of the humor you and your girlfriend have is just being dorky to each other… So when you allow a girl to act that way before she’s your girlfriend, it usually relaxes her and makes her almost feel like the two of you are already together. We’re all dorks at heart, but we only let people close to us see that dorky side of our personalities. That’s why when you mess up you advise you NOT to cover it up. (In fact, make a joke about it!) Whether you mess up trying to hit on her or you spill something on your shirt, don’t try to play off like some sort of wanna-be cool guy. Go with it and let it reveal that dorky side of you and trust it will make you come off MORE attractive.
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Part 4: Playground Humor
g p l ay n ordered you the worst glass ful bullyi >“I of scotch they had instead. hope you like it!” >“not so fast!”
Tips
1. Playfully bullying her is all about teasing her almost like an older brother... 2. Much of it boils down to this: No matter what she says, when you’re being the playful bully, do the exact opposite!
game
it! I’m challenging you to a s with her >“That’s thumb wrestling match! Let’s go!” >“I’ll bet I can get that guy to high-five me before you can...”
Tips
1. Don’t overthink games. As long as they’re simple and fun, she’ll enjoy it! 2. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose the game, really all she’s going to remember is how she felt while playing with you!
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Module 2
Part 4: taking Her back to the playground Phase 4 should begin roughly 30-35 minutes into an interaction. At this point you’ve already interrupted her pattern and established yourself as a flirt. And you’ve also 3-dimensionalized yourself by creating rapport and connection. Now its time to create fun, relaxed vibe that allows her to start feeling sexual around you. Introduction: Get her having fun, feeling relaxed, and take her “back to the playground”
What is “The Playground”
• This is where you get her to revert back to a school girl, laughing on the playground with the guy she has a crush on
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Phase 4 • She’s not thinking about work, responsibilities, or repercussions of hooking up with you
Goals of this phase...
• Get her into that mental “playground state” • You’re loosening her up for the kiss • You’re disengaging her logical brain • You begin using humor to move things physical (excuses to touch her)
Characteristics: What are the elements of the fourth phase
• This is a “sillier” form of humor to get her lubricated for physicality (think- “you’ve got something on your shirt) • You’re trying to take her away from everything else in her life and get the giant spotlight focused on the two of you • You’re going to use repetition and “call back” humor to create the feeling like she’s known you longer than she has • So if earlier you had joked she was bossy… and she says something vaguely bossy… “there it is again” • You must mix this is, along with normal conversation… as you don’t want to go overboard and eliminate the sexual tension.
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Phase 4 Examples: What are some examples of Phase 4 Humor
• Childish jokes • Games (thumb wrestling, hot hands, staring contests, dares) • Playful bullying • Absurdity • Low brow • Partners in crime • Imitating her • Fuck with her
Mistakes to Avoid: What are some mistakes they can avoid in phase 4
• Too much rapport • Not getting using the playground as a chance to get physical • Going overboard and coming off as a clown or too immature to
Thinking on the Fly: How to create phase 3 humor
• Go watch the first two seasons of The Office and take note of the way Jim and Pam act together
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Phase 5: Sexualized Humor Great for staying out of the “friend zone” and making an interaction very sexual, very fast...
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f you’ve ever tried to get sexual with woman and ended up just coming off like a creepy pervert, this section will make sure that never happens again. Using humor to “smooth” things over is a great strategy for seamless sexual escalation.
I only learned this “lesson” through trial and error (and many creeped out ladies!). Time and time again I saw the “combination” for sexy, non-awkward physical escalation was this: Sexual intentions clear + Humor + Make a move = Sexy times It’s very easy to bring up sex with a girl when she’s giggling. If you’re having a serious conversation about that uncle you hated growing up or about one of her ex-boyfriends who cheated, it’s usually hard to bring up sex. But when you’re laughing back-and-
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Phase 5 forth, she’s giggling and you’re just having this playful conversation, it’s very easy to bring up sex. It’s also makes going back to your place easy, too, because it’s all under the guise of fun. If you’ve been having fun with her all night, it’s a lot easier to keep that momentum going and get her back because she’s just going to be like, “Okay. We’re just going to go back and have some more fun.” It doesn’t trigger that alarm in her head that tells her, “Oh no! If I go back to his place, he’s going to put the moves on me, and I don’t want to seem slutty.” Don’t get me wrong, when she’s having fun she still KNOWS what’s going on and what the deal is, but she allows it to happen because it doesn’t seem weird, creepy, forced, and, most importantly, you’re doing it the right way. So how do you know if you’re doing it right? How do you know that this fun that you’re creating is working? One sign is if she says something like, “I hate you.” I hate you is one of the best lines in the world! If she says, “I hate you, you’re such a jerk,” with a smile or a laugh, you’re doing it right. (As mentioned in the last phase during playful bullying.) If she jokingly hits you, whether it’s lightly slapping you or just grabbing at you, that’s another indication you’re doing it right. If she starts playfully making fun of you, you’re doing it right. However, when a girl starts playfully making fun of you, that’s
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Phase 5 not the best situation. When this happens, you usually should have a comeback. Even something as simple as saying, “You keep that up, little girl, and you’re going to get spanked.” And, as mentioned a few times throughout this book, you know you’re doing it right when you become teammates, when you’re the one she wants to tell things to. When you’re in a group of girls or a group of people and she’s whispering little jokes to you. That’s what doing it right looks like. When something funny happens and she looks at you, wanting to make eye contact, you’re golden... At this point though, you’ve got to begin moving towards seduction. Once you see one or more of these signals (or just get the sense she’s into you) you really should shift your humor to the fifth and final phase: sexualized humor. Now that we’ve discussed why this works and what your goals should be, let’s talk about what “sexualized humor” actually is...
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Phase 5 The Perfect Combo: Sexual Statements Mixed with Humor
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s guys, sometimes it’s hard for us to understand why a woman wouldn’t want to have sex with us if she likes us. That’s because when we’re attracted to a girl, we’d have sex with her—no questions asked. In fact, there’s really only 3 ways of categorizing women: the 0, 1, and 2 system. 0 = Would not 1 = Would 2 = Would…and would snap pictures In other words, there’s girl you wouldn’t sleep with (0), girls you would sleep with (1), and girls you’d sleep with—and be proud of it (2). That’s all, folks! With women, however, it’s much more complex and confusing. As you probably know, just because a woman likes you doesn’t mean she’s ready to sleep with you. You could be a “2” to a woman—a guy she’d sleep with and show off to her friends—yet she still may hesitate to go home with you.
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Phase 5 To keep things simple, women will usually only sleep with a guy if these 3 criteria are met: 1. 2. 3.
She feels attraction for a guy She feels comfortable around that guy She feels sexually aroused
Often, criterion number 3—getting her to feel sexually aroused—is the hardest part (which is why sexualized humor works so well!). If you’ve ever lost a girl at the last minute— right before you were going to have sex with her—you probably ruined the interaction because you failed to get her sexually aroused before making your big move. Most guys assume it’s up to the girl to get herself feeling sexual. If you don’t think you’re one of these guys, ask yourself this: what did you do with the last girl you hung out with that got her feeling sexual? Unless a guy a cognizant of “criterion number 3,” the idea usually doesn’t even cross his mind. But now that YOU know, it’s just a matter of executing a few simple strategies to raise “the sexual thermostat” in the interaction. The tactics and strategies of phase 5 humor is intended to do just that. An excellent way to do this is by “humorous restraint.” All you need to do is say something sexual but then immediately say something humorous, before a woman even has a chance to
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Phase 5 react to the sexual statement. This is a great way to amp up the sexual tension because she’s processing the sexual statements while laughing at the humorous follow-ups. It’s like a one-two arousal punch! This is the “style” of humor you’ll see a lot of in phase 5. Sexual humor works best when it plants sexual ideas in her head while she’s laughing. Remember the formula mentioned before: Sexual intent + Humor = Arousal. So, to reiterate, “humorous restraint” means you state your sexual intent, but before anything gets awkward (or she can even object to it) you quickly use humor to take the edge off your statement. As a quick example, if you’re at a bar with her, you might say, “I’d love to be running my fingers up your leg right now, but I’m going to behave myself because I don’t think the general public would appreciate the awesomeness of that.” She may not feel comfortable with you running your fingers up her leg (yet), but by adding humor you keep it lighthearted and playful...not serious and creepy! This leaves her free to enjoy that “fantasy” without guilt, which usually gets her aroused. The two most important components of “humorous restraint” are: 1. Timing 2. Details. As you’re probably well aware, the right TIME to “sexualize” a conversation is when you and a woman feel comfortable around one another and have a flirty
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Phase 5 vibe going. (Unless you REALLY know what you’re doing, using phase 5 strategies too early or too late will usually creep her out.) Although, if said at the right time, you can use sexualized humor on a girl you just met as well as your long-term girlfriend. Just always stay creative with the details, which is the second component of a successfully “sexualizing” your humor. The details are where you can really amplify the humor, especially when applying “humorous restraint.” The more specific you are with explicit details, the more you can turn her on. For example, notice how non-specific (and unfunny) this statement is: “I’d really like to be fucking you right now, but we can’t because we’re in public.” A better way to say the exact same thing would be: “I can’t stop thinking about how it’d feel to be laying on my bed, you on top of me, with my hand gently running down your back... but I’m going to try to stop thinking such things because there are old ladies present—so I don’t want to give myself a raging boner and offend someone’s granny.” The details make the statements more real, so they pack more of an emotional punch as well as add more humor.
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Phase 5 Sexual Priming: The RejectionProof Way to Get In Her Pants
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exual priming is one of my FAVORITE tactics for getting sexual. To understand how it works, imagine this: you and a woman have been chatting for 30 minutes or so and everything seems to be going well. She’s giggling at your jokes, answering your questions with stories, staring into your eyes, and maybe even peppering you with a compliment here and there. BUT you still haven’t gotten physical with her… At this point, it REALLY HELPS if you first “prepare” a woman for a physical advance by stating your sexual intentions in a humorous way (per the formula). We call tactic this “sexual priming” because it lets you “gauge” how willing and ready she is for you to make your move. In fact, using sexual priming BEFORE getting physical makes it almost IMPOSSIBLE for her to reject you when you go for a kiss,
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Phase 5 invite her back to your place, and even when you guys start fooling around! Things just FLOW… It’s the old “…it ‘just happened’…” effect! Though, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows…say the WRONG thing to her and it’s going to have the EXACT OPPOSITE effect. You’re going to come off looking like a horny pervert, she’s going to reject you brutally, and things will instantly get awkward, leaving you embarrassed and blue-balled... So it’s VERY important you do this right! Let’s look at some common scenarios and compare the RIGHT way versus the WRONG way to “prime” her for a sexual advance… You want to gauge if she’s single/sexually open-minded: Wrong way: “Do you have a boyfriend? Because I’d love to get naughty with you.” Right way: “Your boyfriend obviously doesn’t spank you enough.” (Credit: Sinn) You want to invite her back to your place and you want to make it clear you have sexual intentions: Wrong way: “We could go back to my place where it’s quieter and more intimate and I have condoms...”
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Phase 5 Right way: “Let’s have a cuddle date back at my place. I’m calling dibs on being the big spoon!” You want to find out if she’s ready for to be kissed: Wrong way: “I’d really like to kiss you right now…” Right way: “I’m sorry, I’m really enjoying our conversation but I’m also a little distracted because I have this sneaking suspicion that you’re an amazing kisser and our first kiss would be like something out of a Disney movie…pure hot magic…so, just silence my mental chatter for me: am I right? Are you a good kisser?” You want to dance with her: Wrong way: “Wanna dance?” Right way: “Let me see your best New Jersey dance moves! You go first then I’ll show you mine!” You want to determine if she’s bi-curious or down for threesomes: Wrong way: “So are you into girls?” Right way: “So are you in agreement with Katy Perry? I mean, have you ever kissed a girl…and like it? I’ll tell you my answer, but I want to hear yours first…”
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Phase 5 You can just go out tonight and use these sexual priming examples and see them work for yourself… …but EVEN better: let’s quickly breakdown why these examples work so you can make up YOUR OWN examples! (I think Confucius once said something like, “Give a man sexual priming examples, he’ll get a girl tonight. Teach a man sexual priming, he’ll get girls every night.”) First of all, one of the most IMPORTANT elements of keeping things “humorous” when you’re bringing up sex is WORD CHOICE. The difference between being a “fun, sexy guy” versus “creepy, weird pervert” can be as minor as A SINGLE WORD! Notice in the examples above, the good sexual priming examples use words like SPANKING and CUDDLE rather than “naughty” and “intimate.” She’ll know exactly what you mean if you say, “Let’s go cuddle” but they KEY DIFFERENCE is cuddle is a cute, good-humored word. And especially adding things, “I’m calls dibs on the big spoon” keeps the proposition light and playful. Whereas using words like “intimate and quiet” make going back to your place sound awkward and serious. Secondly, notice how the good examples use playful adjectives and phrases to release the tension of direct statements of sexual intent. Saying a first kiss is going to be something “out
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Phase 5 of a Disney movie” and it’s going to be “hot magic” (notice: not simply hot, not only magic…but “HOT MAGIC”) makes the kiss sound fun rather than a formality. The same is true when you ask to see her “New Jersey dance moves” (aside: I’m not sure “Jersey dance moves” even exist…but it’s a great way to get her giggling and out on the dance floor.) Finally, using a third-person perspective (in the example above, we go with pop culture, e.g., Katy Perry) to bring up sexual topics is ALWAYS a great way to introduce a sexual vibe without coming off as creepy. By asking, “Have you ever kissed a girl…and LIKED IT?” you are asking her exactly what you want to know (if she’s into girls/down for threesomes) YET you’re doing it in a way that’s not offensive or pressuring. Any guy with any sort of experience with women knows if you can get a girl laughing, you’re playing ‘the game’ on easy. That’s why Marilyn Monroe famously said, “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.” There’s no better time to apply this “mantra” than when you’re making a move and getting sexual.
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Part 5: Sexualized Humor
ni t ra
Humo rous rest >“If we were alone, I’d be on my
naughtiest behavior...but since it’s almost Christmas and I want to be on Santa’s “nice” list, I’m going to be a good boy...”
Tips
1. humorous restraint depends on a good twist...use the 2-step formula to move things in a sexual direction then add a twist of humor!
s e xu need a spanking!” al priming >“You >“Why do I have a sneaking suspi-
cion that you’re a great cuddler?” >”I’m not going to lie...I’m pretty damn excellent at spooning...”
Tips
1. Sexual priming is all about using “code words” for sexual escalation. If you can bring up sex in a humorous way, you win! 2. Don’t take sexual priming too far and become a clown. Just use it to test the wasters and then make your move!
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Module 2
Part 5: sexualized humor This type of humor can work during any phase of the interaction, but is very effective to use if you think you developed too much rapport at any point, or feel like you might be moving into “friend zone” type flirting because this makes the interaction sexual fast…
Introduction: When and why to use “sexualized humor.”
• Gets her comfortable discussing sexual topics or situations,or • Hints towards sexual relationship later on… • Allows you to quickly bring up sexier topics (e.g., thongs, vibrators, swingers, K Y jelly, S&M)
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Phase 5 Gets the topic of sex out in the open
• Gets her imagination and mind moving toward the idea of sex • It’s like when you talk about your vacation to Argentina and get her mind focused on vacations…
You’re giving her permission to express sexual side around you
• She’s taken her cues from you • If you seem like a prude, she’ll act like a prude • Just like taking off your “social mask” allowed her to open up a little more emotionally, by showing her your comfortable with sex allows her to feel more comfortable with sex
You begin using humor to move things physical
• Excuses to touch her • Creating sexual tension by alternating between this playful state and normal conversation, while beginning to acknowledge that the two of your are seriously flirting. • A great thing to do is after saying this sexual is to go back to normal… because you sort of let it hang there and that increases tension
You’re acknowledging the elephant in the room that you’re trying to sleep with her
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Phase 5 • This can be fun because it takes a lot of pressure off you • Escalates the flirtation and avoids “fun boy” vibe
Characteristics: What are the elements of the fourth phase
• This is a more sexualized style of humor • The delivery here is NOT in an immature sort of way you might deliver lines in the Playground Phase • You must have rock solid confidence if you’re gonna use sexual humor • SHE WILL TEST YOU • The best response to her tests is to keep blaming it on her, e.g., “I knew you were one of those annoying good girls…”
You must introduce or at least hint at this early on or else you will shock her if you go into later without warming her up
• Being shy for 30 minutes and saying something sexual will creep her out • Test her willingness to get sexual • You can throw out vaguely sexual stuff and see how she responds…
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Phase 5 Examples: What are some examples of Phase 5 Humor
• Sexual challenges • Sexual teasing , e.g., “I bet you’re one of those girls who throw her panties on the stage at concerts.” • If she compliments you say, “I’m not that easy. You’re going to have to at least buy me a drink before I go home with you.” • If you catch her accidentally make eye contact with a guy’s butt or his crotch you could say, “You are a naughty girl, aren’t you?” • The Jon Sinn statement: “Your last boyfriend obviously didn’t spank you enough.” • Sexual jokes, e.g., “Wow! You wear a ring on this finger? You know what that says about you. Did you ever have sex in an elevator?” • Sexual comments, e.g., “You need to let loose! When was the last time you had an orgasm. I really think you need to find a guy right now, and let him bend you over the bathroom sink and let him have his way with you.” • Playing a sexualized character (e.g., overconfident playboy, innocent guy she’s trying to seduce, devil on her shoulder) • Bait her into talking about sex by twisting something she said and making it sexual, e.g., “I bet your put a lot of whipped cream in your hot chocolate”
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Phase 5 Mistakes to Avoid: What are some mistakes to avoid in phase 5 • Too much sexuality, coming off creepy • Bringing up sex before attraction has been established • Not being obvious enough • Getting too sexual in front of other people
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