How to to Overcome Overcome Your Your Drinking Habit And Any Other Habit You Choose
By: Justin Qualler
Table of Contents Compulsive and Addictive Behavior: How it Effects You 3 What do you want for your life? 5 Identify People, Places, Things, Etc. That Attract the Qualities You Want to Possess, Create Distance from People, Places, and Things that Do the Opposite--Take Action! 11 Raja Yoga Subconscious Character Building Exercise 13 A Confident Expectation 16
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Compulsive and Addictive Behavior: How it Effects You Addictions and compulsions undermine consciousness and take away your control of life. There is, of course, a sliding scale. A methamphetamine addiction is going to impact someone s life more than a coffee addiction, even ʼ
though both are stimulants. Yet, still, coffee can exert an extremely powerful influence on someone s life. ʼ
In America, we have a strong belief about freedom. We want freedom to do what we want, to say what we want, and to be who we want. In a memorable sermon by Stuart Briscoe (a Milwaukee, Wisconsin pastor), he talked about his return to America following 9/11. Everyone was talking about how they took our freedom, Stuart said. He went on to say that what was meant by freedom was this superficial do what we want without consequences freedom. Sure, we want to eat whatever we want, but we don t want to suffer any ʼ
kind of digestive disorder or sickness. We don t want to accept the ʼ
negative consequences of our actions, after all, we re free! ʼ
Yet, this is precisely why we re not free. We re a nation of addicts, ʼ
ʼ
whether we re addicted to coffee, caffeine, pills (the medicinal ʼ
narcotics are quite popular, as are the anti-depressants and antianxiety meds), food, sex, etc. Without going into an extensive social commentary, nearly anyone capable of non-judgmental empirical observation can see that most Americans are addicted to something, whether it is coffee, cigarettes, booze, food, or pills.
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“Addictions to sugar, drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine not only undercut physical fitness, personal appearance, personality, and health, but will steadily diminish a person s self-control, self-esteem, and happiness. Such addictions are rampantly common, yet widely unadmitted. Addictions and compulsions also undermine honesty because they constantly require dishonest rationalizations. That dishonesty, in turn, reduces self-esteem, competence, productivity…” The Neo-Tech Discovery, Frank R. Wallace ʼ
Who doesn t want to be calm, in control, and collected? Who doesn t ʼ
ʼ
want peace of mind? You can t have it when you re divided against ʼ
ʼ
yourself. You can t have it when your behavior is controlled by ʼ
addictions and compulsions. Addictions and compulsions take you out of the driver s seat and put ʼ
you in the backseat. This book aims to put you in the passenger seat first, and then back in the driver s seat where you belong. ʼ
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What do you want for your life? Catherine Ponder, in her book The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity writes “The amazing thing is that, of the millions of people who think they want to be successful, few of them have any really strong, impelling desires.” Before you can cut out drinking, or any other addiction or compulsion, you must have something to supplant it with--something that you want more than you want your next fix. Most people are very clear about what they don t want, but that ʼ
thinking prompts them to focus on the things they don t want, which, ʼ
ironically, tends to draw those things towards them. First, work on discovering your purpose and desires. This is the most important step. What is more important than working to figure out the reason why you re here in the first place? ʼ
Here are a few different techniques for working on this, the first one from Steve Pavlina s website (stevepavlina.com), the second one ʼ
from a book called Red Gold by Grigori Raiport, and the third one from Napoleon Hill s Law of Success . ʼ
Following these three techniques are two more: the 30 day technique and the John Rockefeller Secret. Pick one of these techniques to become more clear on your purpose, desires, and goals. You ll need this information to supplant ʼ
addictions.
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Steve Pavlina s Purpose Finding Technique ʼ
Here s how Steve recommends finding your purpose: ʼ
1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it s faster). ʼ
2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?” 3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn t ʼ
have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine. 4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose. Source: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/01/how-to-discoveryour-life-purpose-in-about-20-minutes/
Red Gold Ideal Self Technique The technique from the book Red Gold by Grigori Raiport involves an exercise where you figure out what you want, what you don t ʼ
want, and learn to use your mind make yourself desire the things you want more than the things you don t want. It s very powerful. ʼ
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Defining Your Ideal Self The first thing you need to do is to clearly define what you want to be. Your Ideal Self. Here is where you can write anything down and let your imagination run wild.
Defining Your Goal Self After you've developed your Ideal Self, then you want to develop your Goal Self--this is the self that you are targeting to become. While the ideal self is a good list, ideals by their very nature are unattainable according to the book. The Goal Self is something you are striving for, something within your means, something you're passionate about.
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Defining Your Current Self Next, you want to develop your Current Self. This is what you currently are. Here, list the habits you have that you want to get rid of. For instance, a habit of uncontrolled drinking is incompatible with a Goal Self of being healthy and strong. Make a list of all the undesirable qualities you currently have. Make this list as comprehensive as possible.
Making Use of the Lists You have several lists, but you'll only be working with two--the Goal Self and the Current Self. For the Goal Self list, begin to form a strong identification with the items on the list. Imagine yourself being these qualities and in possession of these traits each night and every morning. Feel good when you think about possessing those qualities. When you look at your Current Self list, become disgusted with the qualities on it. You want to feel repulsion from the items on that list to encourage the change in behavior. This is called Attraction and Repulsion. You can do this when you look at the list, and you can also do it in real life--if you succumb to your drinking habit, pay attention to how it makes you feel and notice all the negative and none of the positive. When you re sober, notice ʼ
only the positive and none of the negative. This dual technique is extremely powerful. It helps you stay more conscious about the things you are doing and the thoughts you are thinking. Even if you just have a thought about drinking, immediately work to think about the negative aspect of the activity, and then revert to thinking about not drinking and let yourself feel extremely positive emotions.
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Napoleon Hill s Law of Success Self Development Techniques ʼ
"How may a man be sure that he has attained success unless he has established in his mind some definite object that he wishes?" Napoleon Hill has a famous book called Think and Grow Rich . He has perhaps an even better book, in my opinion, than that one. It's called The Law of Success . Like Catherine Ponder, he quips that most people know quite definitely what they don't want, but when you ask them what they want they can't answer. Of course, if you're going to get what you want, then you'll have to change that. There are three exercises that you can do to begin to figure out your definite purpose:
Figure Out Your Burning Desire What is your burning desire? What do you want to do more than anything? At first, if you haven't thought about this type of thing, it might take you a while to figure out what it is. It might take you several revisions before you get down to what your burning desire really is. Once you have it, you'll feel emotionally charged about it. That's how you know it is your burning desire--you have passion an emotion backing it. Write this down and reflect on it morning and night.
Figure Out Your Definite Purpose The next exercise is to create your definite purpose based off of your burning desire. "I want to be rich and famous" is not a definite purpose. A definite purpose needs to be specific and measurable-and realistic. "I want to own and operate a coffee shop and cafeteria so I can provide the local community with a good cup of coffee and
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snacks and provide a comfortable life for my family" is better-assuming your area isn't saturated with coffee shops! Write down your definite purpose and put it in a place where you will see it often.
Figure Out What Actions You Need to Take to Accomplish Your Definite Purpose The next step is to list the specific actions you will need to take to accomplish your definite purpose. If you want to open a coffee shop, you might need to meet with the local government to see what permitting you'll need. You might want to meet with other coffee shop owners to find out what's worked for them (assuming these people aren't in your area and would therefore see you as competition). You might look for books about starting a business and talk to other business owners in the area. Maybe you'll join a meet up group. As you move farther down the road, your specific actions will change, but you need to constantly be thinking about what actions you need to take to support your definite purpose.
The 30 Day Technique 30 days isn t much time, but if you re dedicated and practice ʼ
ʼ
something for 30 days, you ll work to start forming a habit. Pick one ʼ
of the techniques above and follow it. Then, for 30 days, review the results of whatever technique you picked. Every morning, review the results and visualize yourself as if you ve already attained what you ʼ
want to attain. You should allow yourself to feel amazing about this fact. Wow! You ve done it! If you re following the Red Gold ʼ
ʼ
technique, for 30 days you re active nearly all day long watching ʼ
your thoughts and correcting them. It took me six months of working the Red Gold technique to stop drinking. I m certainly not insinuating that you re drinking will ʼ
ʼ
magically go away, but have faith in the process and continue until it does.
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Reinforcing the technique with AA or some other outlet might be advised depending on your situation.
John Rockefeller s Secret ʼ
I don t know about you, but I wanted to have control over my ʼ
drinking. Maybe I still wanted to drink at a special occasion. To achieve this, I employed John Rockefeller s Secret--anything that is ʼ
watched and measured improves. I kept a spreadsheet and monitored my drinking (among other things) to make sure I never strayed. I set the intention that I only wanted to drink on special occasions. Depending on the severity of your addiction it might not be advisable to attempt this. Eliminating completely might be better. I m not a slave to the spreadsheet, either. I ve since stopped putting ʼ
ʼ
a 0 in the Alcohol column for each day because I just haven t been ʼ
drinking nor do I have the desire.
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Identify People, Places, Things, Etc. That Attract the Qualities You Want to Possess, Create Distance from People, Places, and Things that Do the Opposite--Take Action! “Action, action, action!” - Bruce Lee “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20 That friend you have who is always encouraging you to drink? Maybe not so much of a friend. It might be that the alcohol is all that is holding you together. Hey, it happens. Going to a bar might not be advisable if you re trying to stop drinking, ʼ
either. Similarly, if you re trying to lose weight, you wouldn t want to ʼ
ʼ
head to a family restaurant where all the patrons are overweight and the portion sizes are huge. As I said in the first chapter, when you re talking about addictions ʼ
and compulsions, you re really talking about consciousness. As you ʼ
gain control over your addictions and compulsions, you ll begin to be ʼ
more aware--more conscious. You ll notice different things about ʼ
places you used to frequent. You might notice a particular establishment has a low energy and every time you leave there, you feel worse. Time to move on. You ll develop different interests and potentially shed your old ones. ʼ
It s a transition phase. You re vulnerable here. ʼ
ʼ
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You might lose friends here who were never really your friends. This is where support can help. Keep up with the exercises. You re ʼ
embracing something higher and moving away from something lower, but right now you might be caught in between. It could go either way. Stay strong and pick the correct course of action. Surround yourself with people who can help. If you don t have people like that, find ʼ
them! By the way, if you re cutting out alcohol--get it out of your house! ʼ
Limit your chances to exposure.
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Raja Yoga Subconscious Character Building Exercise “The average person recognizes his strong and weak points of character, but is very apt to regard them as fixed and unalterable, or practically so. He does not realize that he himself is really the maker of himself, from the raw and crude material given him at his birth.” First of all, what is your character? It is nothing more than the sum of your habits. So, how do you change your character? You change your habits through auto-suggestion. Or, I should say, it happens through autosuggestion because whether you do it consciously or unconsciously, it happens either way. The first step is to form a desire. You must desire to change. The desire to change must be higher than other desires. If you want to get drunk more than you want to be sober, then you ll drink. ʼ
I can hear the question already. “What if I don t want to give ʼ
something up? What if my desire for sugar is really high?” You can build up desire for something else. You dwell on the subject until desire is created. To use the example from the book: “A young man has no desire to indulge in the excesses of a “fast” life. But after a while he hears, or reads something about others leading that sort of life, and he begins to allow his mind to dwell upon the subject, turning it around and examining it mentally, and going over it in his imagination. After a time he begins to find a desire gradually sending forth roots and branches, and if he continues to water the thing in his imagination, before long he will find within himself a blossoming inclination, which will try to insist upon expression in action.” 13
The process described above was unconscious. How often has that happened to you? You desire a sundae, even though you re full. ʼ
You ve eaten already. But you imagine that sundae—oh, it ll taste so ʼ
ʼ
good! The waitress asks if you d like dessert. Before you have a ʼ
chance to stop yourself, you ve said “yes” and now you find you can t ʼ
ʼ
stop yourself. Thought, word, deed... Change the thought, nurture a different thought, and get different results. Pick a desire, and indulge it. See yourself exhibiting the desirable traits you want to have. Imagine people complimenting you on your new self. You will begin to feel a stronger desire forming. While you re going through this process, you might slip up and enact ʼ
a habit you want to rid yourself of. Relax. Don t beat yourself up. ʼ
You re not trying to engage in a monumental battle of willpower that ʼ
you have to fight all the time. So you slipped up. So what? Go back to cultivating a higher desire and refusing to dwell on your other lower desire, whatever it is. Don t allow yourself to experience the ʼ
frustration, just view it as something that happened, and go back to work on the process. Therein lies the secret. You have higher desires and lower desires. You want to replace your lower desires with higher ones. Here s ʼ
what you do: starve the lower desires of any thought whatsoever. Don t even think of them. Lavish the higher desires with all sorts of ʼ
positive attention. Thought control is very difficult so it is likely you ll experience some ʼ
difficulty keeping your mind off your lower desire. I find that for me, it works well, if I accidentally start thinking about the lower desire, to
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think only of negative qualities about it. For instance, with drinking, I would just think of the hangover, of getting sick, or of making a fool out of myself. This is the technique from the book Red Gold , called attraction and repulsion. You re attracting yourself to the positive ʼ
desire and repulsing yourself from the negative one. Remember, each victory gives you strength, each defeat weakens you. So far you ve formed a desire and you re promoting it over some ʼ
ʼ
other, lower desire. The only other ingredient you need is faith—a confident expectation. You re going through a process, the process ʼ
is based on psychological law, and it works. Let it work. Expect it to work. Continue the process and you will find that you are easily, and happily—joyfully, even—making the correct decisions and your old habits are a thing of the past. You ll feel great. You ll be calm. You ll ʼ
ʼ
ʼ
feel in charge of yourself because you have consciously worked to make a positive and wonderful change in your life. You ll look back at ʼ
your old self and wonder just how you allowed that to happen. You ll ʼ
be on a whole new conscious plane of existence.
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A Confident Expectation Be diligent. Be assiduous in your practice of figuring what your purpose is, what your goals are, and what habits you ll need to ʼ
eliminate to reach it. Then expect good things. Have a strong faith. You re doing the work, you know where you want to go, you will ʼ
succeed. If thoughts drift, as they do, gently put them back in order. If you make a mistake, no sense in beating yourself up over it, just recognize what happened and continue to proceed with your work, confidently expecting the best possible outcome.
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