GTP-GuideToUnderstandingWomen_uncryp

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The Girlfriend Training Program The Reference Guide Guide To Understanding Women

© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

www.CarlosXuma.com GuideTo Understanding Women

Welcome back. Weʼre about to start what I consider probably the most important part of this program because without an understanding of women and how they work and the traits and different psychological processes of a woman, it becomes very difficult for any guy to consider having a girlfriend much less having a long term relationship, much less having a marriage with a woman. It becomes nearly impossible because you donʼt understand her. You donʼt know what to expect, how to predict her, how to read her. Well, youʼre going to get all of that in this section right here.

Weʼre going to be classifying women. Weʼre not going to be doing this in a way that I know that thereʼs this big moral outrage of classifying people or typing people because that then it takes away our individual uniqueness or whatever. We do this because of the same reason that human beings stereotype other human beings. We do it because, well first of all, itʼs true. Second of all it gives us a fast and easy way to categorize people because we canʼt always put in a 100% mental effort in figuring out every little nuance.

So Iʼm going to give you some very simple tools for being able to break down women's personality so that you can understand them and better deal with them. That seems like a pretty noble goal and worthwhile one if


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www.CarlosXuma.com you ask me. You can do the same thing with men so letʼs not get into a public outcry or an outrage situation here.

Here is how weʼre going to do this. Weʼre going to go through classifying her. Weʼre going to talk about the basics about women and the most important parts of personalities of women that you need to know. What is it that women really want? Yes, youʼre going to finally learn it. Youʼre going to learn some strategies for dealing with women. Theyʼre really effective strategies. Youʼre going to learn how to read women's body language and her signals so that youʼre never caught off guard again. So that youʼll never have to go through another experience of a woman just blasting out of left field or feeling like you just ran over a landmine and blew off your legs. You donʼt want that to happen in a relationship. You should never be caught off guard again and this also adds to and improves your ability to be the Alpha man in the relationship.

Letʼs get into it, man. We got a lot of stuff to cover in this segment. Hang on. Weʼre going to go into classifying her. Iʼm going to give you a couple of different methods of classifying her. Weʼre going to start with a very top level approach that you can use with anybody and that is the three personality types.


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www.CarlosXuma.com 3 Personality Types • Type A person. • Type B person. • Type C person.

You may have heard of this before like, “Oh, sheʼs so Type A.” What are we talking about with type A is theyʼre in a hurry, they want to get moving. Theyʼre very impatient. Theyʼre a mix of left and right brain, meaning your left brain which is the logical side, the right brain which is more the creative emotional side. Itʼs hard to pinpoint quite that way, but you get what I mean.

Left brain is a little bit more responsive to mathematics and very clear cut skill sets. The right brain is more responsive to more esoteric and gray area like language and things like that. Theyʼre a good mix.

Type As has a good mix of both of those, and with relationships, they tend to be a little bit more hostile. Thereʼs more hostility there. Iʼm more of a Type A. Thatʼs my personality. Iʼm always in a hurry. I want to get moving. Iʼm impatient. Letʼs get this thing going, but I am tempered with a certain understanding that I have this personality type and therefore I need to relax on occasion too. So a mix of left and right brain, I have both of those as well. I have a creative side as well as a very logical and practical side thatʼs effectively good at math and I also have a little bit more of an


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www.CarlosXuma.com aggressive if you will approach towards relationships. I wouldnʼt say itʼs hostile, but it could be interpreted that way.

What about Type B? Type B people are very live in the moment and are very intuitive. Thereʼs much more right brain and when it comes to relationships, theyʼre a little bit more in the friendly side, a little bit more amicable. Live in the moment, intuitive, right brain, a little bit more of a soft skill side of the brain, more language-oriented, more creative side and with relationship they tend towards the friendly end of the spectrum.

Type C, theyʼre future oriented. They take their time and they are left brain reliant, a little bit more of a logical intellectual side of the brain and in relationships they are the cautious type.

So they are the three types, type A, type B and type C, and you can generally figure out which one you are. Just because I am a Type A doesnʼt mean Iʼm looking for another Type A to be compatible with me. No, no, no. This is just for being able to quickly break people down and understand how they function.

I am a Type A and I actually respond more to Type Bs and Type Cs, and probably a little more towards Type Cs than Type Bs. Thatʼs who Iʼve had better success with in my life and youʼll figure this out too. You might figure out youʼre a Type B and you just get along better with Type As or Type Cs.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Who knows? But these are the three primary personality types and you can use this to apply to women, men anybody.

Now here are the four primary types of personalities. Overall, this is the classical personality breakdown for people. • The sanguine. • The choleric. • The melancholic. • The phlegmatic.

This goes all the way back to like 1000 BC or something like that. Some crazy long time period ago where somebody, I think it was the ancient Greeks broke down the personality types into these four.

Hereʼs what they are the sanguine is loud. Theyʼre extroverted. They tend to be late. They tend to be forgetful. Theyʼre a little bit sarcastic and theyʼre talkative, not shy. So you can pull all those together you can kind of pull it in your head, you can probably imagine a person that fits that mold. Thatʼs a sanguine person.

The choleric, this person is a doer. They have a lot of energy. They have a lot of ambition. They have a lot of passion. Theyʼre dominating and these people tend to be leaders. You can see this is a very different


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www.CarlosXuma.com distinction than the original three personality types I talked about before. Itʼs another way of categorizing.

Then thereʼs the melancholic. You might be able to guess what this was like, from the name. Theyʼre thoughtful. They tend to be arty. Theyʼre perfectionists. Theyʼre moody. Theyʼre self-reliant and theyʼre very independent. I tend to think of the moody artist type when I think of this one.

And then thereʼs the phlegmatic. The phlegmatic personality type is selfcontent. Theyʼre kind. Theyʼre accepting. Theyʼre very compassionate. Theyʼre receptive. Theyʼre a bit shy. Theyʼre risk avoidant. Theyʼre relaxed and rationale.

Those are the four primary personality types, the classic personality types that you may have heard of in the past. Again, sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. Again, if youʼre looking to put yourself in one of these categories as best you can, youʼre going to find stuff from others of course, but be realistic with yourself. Figure out which one of these is you and then figure out which one youʼre most attracted to, thatʼs going to tell you a lot about what you need to look for and why you need to look for that type of person in a relationship especially with women.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Spectrums. Here are the different spectrums of how a person can be categorized. You can break a woman down into these different categories and in each one of them you can determine for yourself what it is you want in that category in the woman that youʼre going to be in a relationship with. • Sexual. The two ends of the spectrum being repressed on one side, unleashed on the other. So you might think repressed or cold, frigid and on the other side hot and nymphomaniac. • Personality and energy, introverted versus extroverted. Where do they get their energy in social situations? Do they get it from being alone or being with other people? • Intelligence. Is this a fact-based person? Are they really intelligent? Or maybe they shift more towards being kind of a down-to-earth person? Not very book smart, theyʼre a little bit more world-smart. Learn what you want in terms of intelligence spectrums. • Wisdom, life skills. Thatʼs what we were talking about when we were talking about wisdom. So intelligence is a fact-based kind of smarts. Wisdom is a life skills kind of smarts. • Physicality. Are they in their head, or are they in their body? Those are the two ends of that spectrum. • Sociability. Are they social or are they somewhat anti-social? Do they really want to be out and hanging around people even if theyʼre introverted people? Iʼm an introvert and I still love to be out with people. • Attitudinally are they positive or negative? Are they happy or are they dour? Are they upbeat or are they melancholy?


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www.CarlosXuma.com • Looks. Youʼve got to know what your particular inclination is towards looks as well. • Finally risk-taking behavior, are they safe or are they adventurous?

So her are some of the spectrums and you can come up with more as you identify more traits of the woman that youʼre looking for, but these are the ones that you want to be able to kind of figure out with a woman. You can look at her in a moment and figure out if is she a wise woman or is she more kind of like a book smart kind of person or she may be neither and which one suits you.

Here are some general types for classification.

• Aggressive. • The sensitive. • The dramatic. • The laid back.

These are four general types of categorizations of women.

The aggressive woman, aggressive personality types, like to take command of situations. On the positive side, theyʼre goal-directed and adventurous and these types are often very ambitious.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Theyʼre successful and very highly sociable. On the negative side, the aggressive types tend to work best in a hierarchy like a corporate environment where power and structure are the norm. In the dating scene, aggressive types are more apt to initiate a conversation and take charge of the courtship ritual and that can actually be refreshing for the other person as long as they donʼt come on too strong. So there is the aggressive type.

The sensitive type, sensitive personality types tend to be reserved, modest people who have a keen awareness of other peopleʼs feelings. On the positive side, theyʼre creative. They are loving. They are modest. Sensitive types are conscientious and tend to be loyal and trustworthy and they can be artistically inclined and good writers. On the negative side, they have a tendency to withdraw and that can sometimes lead to avoiding social events and missing opportunities in their work and in their personal life. In the dating scene, sensitive types tend to have good listening skills on a date. Theyʼre attentive and caring and they tend to develop close relationships. However their calm, reserved demeanor can sometimes be misinterpreted as cold which can make for first dates that are very difficult or starting up contact with them or connection with them being very difficult. Thatʼs the sensitive type.

There is the dramatic type. The dramatic personalities are emotional and extroverted usually enjoying attention and socializing. On the positive side, theyʼre expressive, lively and theyʼre dramatic and they often excel in entertaining, being the entertainers and in the media and theyʼre very often the life of the party, which you might think of from actors and actresses. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com On the negative side, they have emotional ups and downs that can cause problems in various areas of life, their life and yours. In the dating scene, the dramatic type sometimes neglect others when theyʼre too focused on turning the spotlight on themselves, which can lead to frustration for their partners. However, dramatic types tend to be fun and engaging dates who excel at conversation.

Again, find yourself in these categories and then figure out what it is that sounds most appealing for you in a woman.

The laid-back type, these are leisurely and care free. Leisurely types are easily-going and agreeable, equally happy with or without company. On the positive side, theyʼre calm. Theyʼre deliberate. Theyʼre flexible. Leisurely types thrive in a flexible environment without strict rules or assigned roles. On the negative, if they reject social norms too much leisurely types can find themselves isolated from others. In the dating scene, the laid back type is not abiding by traditional dating rules. Leisurely types can sometimes drop the ball when it comes to taking dating to the next steps and maybe forgetting to call or failing to express interest even if they feel like theyʼre really interested, theyʼre really positive about the date. On the flipside theyʼre calmer on lifeʼs personality can be a plus to put others at each and open up the conversation. So theyʼre easy to talk to and very easy to relate to.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Actually I fit into the three of these. I fit into laid back, sensitive, aggressive in some ways and youʼre going to find that you fit in to a little bit of each as well, but if you have to pin down which one is the most attractive to you in terms of personality, think about that, which of those in a woman is most attractive to you?

Some other classifications you can use to categorize and typify women.

• City girl. This is the urban girl, very hip and likes to go out to bars and clubs. • Granola. Sheʼs a little bit more down to earth, a little more of an earthy girl. • Yoga girl, a little bit more spiritual. • Alpha woman. Sheʼs the one thatʼs very nurturing but very, very sexual in a lot of ways. • Ms. Intimacy, sheʼs really into deep, deep connection. • The housewife, the woman who just wants to nurture and have kids.

Thatʼs one group of classification. Another one is:

• The librarian, the bookwormy. • The princess diva type of a woman. This is more speaking to attitudes.


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www.CarlosXuma.com • The sensual woman, very sexual and physical. • The party girl, always looking for the next good time. • The drama queen, who wants to make a big deal out of everything. I often experience drama queen and party girl unified together in the same person. But youʼll never know, it can be separate. • The sporty girl. Sheʼs very physically active and very into sports and • The mother nurturer.

Thereʼs another way of again breaking down female personality types and further figuring out which ones you would most connect with.

So now weʼve typified a lot of the personality types out there for women. You know what to do with that. Find yourself in there first and then figure out where the woman lies and then you kind of figure out the delta or the bridge that has to be forged across between those two types. If you're very much an introvert and you just like recharging by being home alone and sheʼs an extrovert, a drama queen, maybe sheʼs a party girl, what do you think youʼre going to have to do there? Youʼre going to have to work really hard. Itʼs going to be difficult. No two ways about it. Itʼs going to be hard for her to come to your side and hard for you to go to her side. So recognize thatʼs thereʼs an essential attitudinal incompatibility there and thatʼs what I talk about, essential attitude incompatibilities are more important than whether or not you both like My Chemical Romance or U2 or something like that. It doesnʼt really matter in the big scheme of things.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Now letʼs go through the basics of women. Oh my gosh, weʼve got so much to go through here. • Connection-oriented, women are by nature connection-oriented. Theyʼre going to be focused almost entirely on building connections between themselves and other people. Iʼve talked about this throughout the program. I donʼt need to go on any more detail there. • Fickle. Women are fickle. Sometimes sheʼll be acting out loud is what sheʼs doing. Sheʼs just trying to figure things out by bringing them out into the real world. Getting them out of her head and out into the real world where they can be played with and toyed with even if she throws it all away later on. It may seem fickle to you, but this is how she processes. She brings it out. Men tend to pull it in and we go into our caves and then we process and we come back out and we know what we want to do. We are smart. We are men. But women do the same thing in their own way. Their way of doing it is to process interactively. Thatʼs why she may seem a little bit inconsistent and fickle. • How do you know if sheʼs being honest? Well, Iʼm going to talk about actually the how to know if somebody is telling the truth. It comes up in the program in the Cheat Proofing section. Iʼll let you find it there, but again, knowing if sheʼs honest is not that hard. If you have a good connection youʼll be able to detect her signals. Itʼs mostly about you being aware, looking out from behind her eyes and actively picking up on signals. Iʼll show you some of those signal in a little bit here too.


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www.CarlosXuma.com • The big question. What is the big question? The big question with women is this knowing suspicion that she has. A woman has this. Every woman has the big question in their head. Itʼs the gnawing suspicion that ultimately sheʼs not attractive, lovable or appealing to other people or men. This is the big gnawing suspicions running around her head and sheʼs always asking herself, “Am I attractive? Am I lovable? Am I appealing?” She always wants some validation for this. She demands it.

And even if sheʼs isnʼt asking for it she wants it. That whatʼs underneath almost all of her subtle, coercive, weird little indirect behaviors is this, this gnawing suspicion beneath her skin that sheʼs just not worthy. If you can address that, if you can handle that, if you can control that and monitor it and know that youʼre not going to get direct signals all the time about the state of this question in her mind. It goes up. It goes down. It goes up. It goes down. If you can deal with that, you will really do well with a long-term girlfriend of any kind and youʼll be able to keep women because youʼll know how to address this one big question is all it takes. • Nine out of ten women are insecure in one area whether they are liked for who they are and whether how they look is appealing. This is the one area. I know it sounds like two, but itʼs really kind of the same.

The first one is whether they are liked for who they really are, which is why sheʼs trying to figure out from you if youʼre just into her © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com because you want to have sex with her like any other woman out there, that means of course that you arenʼt really liking her for who she is. You just donʼt care. Thatʼs why sheʼs trying to get that established. And whether how she looks is appealing to you.

Those are the two things that nine out of ten women are insecure about.

If you can give her security about these two things youʼll go far, my friend. Very simple, isnʼt it? Women are actually really, really simple on the surface. If you really know whatʼs going on and the motivations behind it, itʼs very easy to maintain control on a relationship and keep yourself happy and keep her happy. • Women believe that whether they are attractive or not can be only be confirmed by guys. Think about that for a second. They believe that whether or not theyʼre attractive can only be validated truly by a member of the opposite sex. Of course, Iʼm just talking about straight women for the most part. Itʼs true. Thatʼs why women are looking to men to validate them so much. A woman can never give her the kind of validation that the romantic interest of a man does. When a man is romantically interested in her or is attracted to her thatʼs validation to her as it is to you.

Women measure their worth by the kind of man that is attracted to them. Think about this one. This is another revelatory thing if you


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www.CarlosXuma.com really think about it. A woman can measure her worth by the type and quality of the man that is interested in her. So what do you think? The same thing works for guys too in a lot of ways, doesnʼt it? If only skunks are attracted to you, women that you donʼt like, it kind of wears on you after a while but not the same way it does for women. Women reinterpret that to mean if only these low-class hillbilly guys are interested in them, that will lower their self-esteem faster than anything on the planet because they think thatʼs the only kind of guy that can be attracted to them and thatʼs a representation of their worth as a woman. • Women also have a fear that they wonʼt be enough to satisfy her man, so heʼs going to want to go elsewhere. Theyʼre always living with that fear, the fear that they wonʼt be enough to satisfy him and heʼs going to cheat or leave for another woman. So sheʼs always trying to re-establish that connection and sheʼs always trying to test that connecting by pushing you away to see if youʼll pull her back. • Why women notice the strong men out there? When sheʼs around non-assertive guys, women typically get just mixed signals or silence from them. This is the nice guy situation and nothing decisive ever comes out of it. So when sheʼs around these non-assertive guys, sheʼs gets mixed signals or silence from them. But when sheʼs around bad boys, strong male types, she gets surprised by outrageous flirtation or he makes some kind of bold move, and what did he do? He tells her that he does notice her. He validates those questions sheʼs asking before. Remember those questions? She wants to know if sheʼs liked for who she really is.


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She wants to know if how she looks is appealing and what does a

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bad boy do? He tells her that. He shows that he notices her. Thatʼs

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why theyʼre so effective on so many levels and why you need to

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adopt those particular traits and skills. • Most women do everything they can to manage the relationship for the least amount of pain. Thatʼs it. They want to manage the relationship for the least amount of pain it will cause them. Thereʼs always going to be a baseline of pain but they want to minimize it as much as possible.

And here are the five stages. If thereʼs one thing in this program that youʼll learn, itʼs these five stages. This is five stages of a relationship going from good to bad and youʼre going to relate to these five stages because youʼre in one of them right now if youʼre with a woman. If youʼve ever been with a woman you can definitely relate to these five stages because they probably happen to you. But to a woman, these are the only five stages she experiences and the only five you need to be concerned with. Itʼs really, really important stuff. I want you to take notes on this section specifically. I hope Iʼve made that clear. Here we go.

Here are the five stages. 1. Sheʼs warm and responsive. 2. Sheʼs nice, but sheʼs kind of cool and probably a little distant. 3. Sheʼs not happy anymore.


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www.CarlosXuma.com 4. Sheʼs not nice anymore. 5. She dumps you.

Letʼs go through them all. Stage one, sheʼs warm and responsive, this is where most guys start out a relationship. Everything is going good. Youʼve got that nice happy hit from the crack pipe. Youʼre all excited with each other. Youʼre having like cuddly sex and stuff. Everything is warm and responsive in this stage.

Now I want to make actually a distinction here before we go into stage two. You can easily transition between stage one, two and sometimes three in any relationship. Itʼs absolutely a necessity that you go through stage one and stage two. You will go through both of those stages in a relationship. Itʼs how far you keep going down this ladder that will affect your relationship. With stage two you will need to go to and you will need to go and you need to figure out and fix it and then stage two leads you back into stage one again.

If you let it go to stage three, it becomes much more difficult to get back up to stage one. So this is a decreasing scale and if you were to represent the energy levels of energy that you have to put to get back up from one level to the next itʼs about a million down here and itʼs about half a million here or a hundred thousand. Here itʼs about a hundred. So it goes down radically when youʼre this far up the scale.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Back to number two. So she starts out warm and responsive. Stage number two is sheʼs nice but sheʼs cool. Something is bothering her. Something will bother her in the relationship as it will you. What happens is she retreats and she cools off from the relationship a little bit. Sheʼs going to pull back a little bit.

Right in this stage there's not that much efforts thatʼs necessary from you to save it. All relationships go through it and it is okay. You will go through it. You just have to spot this right here. She retreats and cools off and you have to know that there is something going on here that you need to address. This goes back into the conflict and conversation things that Iʼve talked about in the other part of the program of Keeping Her. You can go back and use those skills right here to figure out whatʼs going on. Plus some of the signals that Iʼm going to tell you in a little bit are going to tell you when this happens, but youʼre going to notice it. If youʼre aware at all youʼre going to notice it.

Oh, but thereʼs the trick. Most guys donʼt notice it because theyʼre not aware and they let this one go and they just hope that itʼs going to take care of itself. Sometimes it does. Most times, it doesnʼt. What happens after this stage? What if it doesnʼt get addressed?

Stage number three, she becomes unhappy. She wants something to change or she will leave. At least thatʼs what she is thinking in her head.


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www.CarlosXuma.com She wonʼt tell you this, but she will feel this. If you catch it here you can save it. You can save the relationship. You can keep your girlfriend.

This is the last stage, by the way, in which you can probably save it. She is signaling you directly. She will get more upset or more annoyed a lot more easily. Youʼll see this happening. Sheʼll say things like, “Youʼre not listening to me a lot.” She becomes less available, her time, her energy, all of that are much less available. She makes excuses to end the night early if youʼre on a date or maybe she doesnʼt sleep over tonight or maybe she leaves right away in the morning, whatever it is, sheʼs now signaling you directly with distinct signals.

And this is months before she actually breaks up with you. You have to realize that she is actually getting over you months before she actually does the break up. You just havenʼt picked up on it yet. This is one of the things that freaks guys out every single time but if you know it now youʼre going to be in a position to fix and save any relationship youʼve got, my friend.

Months before she actually breaks up with you sheʼs starting to get over you. What that means is in this phase of sheʼs not happy. At the very end of this phase sheʼs making a decision now that she doesnʼt want to be with you and this is where it becomes can you save it and probably wonʼt save it. Thatʼs the borderline that weʼre crossing here.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Stage number four, sheʼs no longer nice to you anymore. She becomes difficult or impossible to deal with. It might get turned around here but with a lot, and I mean an emphasis here, a lot of effort on your part and what will happen is she will start mistreating you.

What is she doing here? Let me explain what the motivation is so that youʼll completely understand women on this. Sheʼs trying to get you so irritated that you will break up with her. She would actually like that because it saves her pain and anguish of having to do it to you, or at least you wonʼt be as sad when she does. At least she wonʼt be as sad when she finally does break up with you if she gets you really, really irritated. Do you see whatʼs happening? How sheʼs manipulating the motions. Yeah, women are very smart. Theyʼre good at this stuff. Theyʼre experts in the whole emotional intelligence concept. What happens after this is so that you wonʼt feel as bad and you think itʼs a good thing when she finally does break up with you.

Pretty crazy, so sheʼs trying to get you so irritated that youʼre going to break up with her if you donʼt break up with her at least you wonʼt be as sad about it when she finally does and you wonʼt feel as bad and you think itʼs a good thing. Amazing, and it also avoids blame and bad feeling on her part because sheʼs mistreating you to get you to notice the severe problem. Thatʼs why sheʼs doing this. This is her last ditch flares and signals for there is a severe problem here that must get resolved, and to be quite honest with you, when it gets into mistreatment, itʼs already built up resentment and it means itʼs probably over. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com So by now when you are starting to notice it, which is usually what happens, guys start noticing right about step four where she becomes pissy and mean. Well, guess what? Itʼs over. Now Iʼm going to give guys credit. We do often pretty much notice. We start to notice it here, but we just donʼt do anything about it. With step number three, when sheʼs not happy, we are starting to see it but we donʼt know how to get in there and fix the not happy part and it just falls into that bucket naturally.

Now we get to stage five. The end, she dumps you and youʼre shocked, “Oh my God, what happened here? What did she dump me? It wasnʼt that bad, was it?” What she does is she waits until she is so detached from you that she can check out and finally break up. She wants to work herself into an emotional state where sheʼs detached and finally done with you, then she can do it easily. If youʼve ever wondered why itʼs so easy for a woman to do this, this is why, she already broke up with you a few months back. She just stayed with you while she got over you.

Oh, thatʼs dark, and by now itʼs way too late to save it. For all you guys that want to save your relationships after this point, you let it go too far. You let it go past the point where she had any positive feelings and theyʼve all turned into negative feelings for you. Itʼs a bad thing my friend, or if anything, itʼs turned into apathy and thatʼs even worse.

With those five stages, I want you to review that and if you have to right now I recommend you to just re-listen to this whole segment again


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www.CarlosXuma.com because that encapsulates the entire understanding of how women work in relationships for you in just five simple steps, five stages of going from good to bad.

Those are the basics of women that you need to know. What do women really want? What is it they really want? Wow, letʼs break it down. Letʼs make it easier.

• A sense of humor, a woman wants a sense of humor. That is pretty simple. She wants you to be funny, or at least a fun guy. You donʼt have to be a comedian. • She also wants thoughtfulness. This goes without saying it. This means just looking out for her. Thoughtfulness also means being able to see some of these signals that Iʼm talking about and get them in advance. Donʼt be an obtuse, stubborn, dumb, pigheaded dude. Be able to see it. Be a little sensitive and conscious of them, thoughtful. • Self-confidence, another give me. We know this one by heart by now and we know how it works. If you donʼt thatʼs covered well in my Ultimate Inner Game program. • Fun. She wants fun. Fun, meaning adventurous, risk-taking behavior. This is the stuff that the bad boy tends to give her that most nice guys donʼt. "

Most nice guys arenʼt fun because theyʼre just very routine, kind of

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regular, which does appeal to her, but recognize that all human © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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beings have a dual need. On one side we need consistency. On

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one side we need novelty. We need a certain number of things that

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are constant and secure in our lives and we need another set of

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things that are out of the norm, risky, adventurous, wild, different,

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novel. Those are the things that add spice to life. With both of those

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in place you feel good. With just one of them, youʼre going to feel

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anxious and neurotic. • Respect. Women want respect. They want it demonstrated through chivalry. This is how men demonstrate a respect of women. A man should never be possessed by a woman or owned by a woman or guided by a woman or led by a woman but he should definitely respect the woman heʼs with, and thatʼs demonstrated through chivalry and thatʼs what that particular skill set involves. Chivalry is the opening of the door for her, letting her go first, pulling out her chair for her, little things that show that you do respect women on the whole. Because believe me women throughout the course of time have not been respected all that well. Thatʼs why it was such a cherished trait by women that you do recognize, underneath it all, even though they didnʼt have legal equality way back when that they still had value.

And bad boy qualities, women are really looking for this. They really do want it. Here they are. The eight primary ones are:

• Self confidence.


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www.CarlosXuma.com • Adventure. • Spontaneity, • Protectiveness. • Certain amount of jealousy there. • Being a leader the other guys look up. • Being decisive. • Being a risk taker. • Not being afraid of other people or their opinions. • Being independent.

Letʼs go through those again. Number one, self confidence, for her it means feeling protected. If youʼre uncertain about life, sheʼs going to feel uncertain, which is not a good state for her so thatʼs why she wants confidence and she wants to draw on your strength. Women are confidence vampires. They want to draw on your confidence. You have to have enough confidence for yourself and for her.

With adventure and spontaneity, she feels predictable. A woman feels predictable and she feels boring, so relies on a man to bring out her adventurous side and he wants her to sweep her off her feet. Thatʼs the adventure and spontaneity sheʼs looking for.


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www.CarlosXuma.com As well protectiveness, bad boys tend to be very protective. They make sure that she feels special by virtue of the fact that he wonʼt tolerate other men taking her.

Being a leader that other guys look up to, this is one that many men donʼt often spot and that is that you have to be a leader of other men as well.

Be decisive, firm in your decisions, clear in your decisions. Know what you want.

Be a risk taker, a calculated risk taker, not a reckless risk taker. Take the risks that you know you can A, survive, and B, if you lost it wouldnʼt be such a big deal but they are risks nonetheless.

Donʼt be afraid of other people or their opinions, and believe me, bad boys do this to an extreme. You donʼt have to be that extreme, but you have to demonstrate some independence of thinking, which speaks to number eight.

Bad boys are never clingy. She always cares about her own level of dependence on other people. So being with guys like this that are not clingy, they are independent, is a kind of liberation and freedom for her. Sheʼs looking to draw on your energy.


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www.CarlosXuma.com And the big four, if I had to summarize all the things that were attractive to a woman, what it is that women really want, it would come down to these four. ʻ

• Take the lead. • Be decisive. • Take risks. • Demonstrate confidence.

Let me say those again. These are the four essential qualities every man must show. You have to take the lead. Thatʼs the initiative. You have to be decisive. You have to take risks and show confidence. Thatʼs it. Thatʼs the essence right there, the four fundamental qualities, because she responds to focused attention from a man and all of those things allow you to do that. They facilitate that.

So there you go, thatʼs what women really want. You now know more than most guys will ever learn about what it is that women really want.

When we come back in the next section Iʼm going to start talking about these strategies in this Guide to Understanding Women with some strategies that you can use and weʼre going to go into signals and her body language and youʼll know everything else you need to know in this Guide to Understanding Women.


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www.CarlosXuma.com GuideToUnderstandingWomen-2

Weʼre going to finish up here with our Guide to Understanding Women. Weʼre going into strategies of understanding women and leveraging that knowledge. First thing to understand is letʼs simplify this here. We are spinning plates. Thatʼs what we are doing in relationships when we have a girlfriend or any number of girlfriends for any period of time is youʼre just basically spinning plates.

What I mean by spinning plates is keeping a woman happy is just a matter of keeping three plates spinning. Itʼs kind of like those guys in the circus. Put a plate up on a pole and they spin it and they keep the other one going but theyʼve got to run down and spin this one before that one starts. Oh, that oneʼs wobbling so they run over and start that one up and get it going. They have to attend to each one of those dishes to keep them going and spin those plates. Well, youʼre doing the same thing. Here are those three different plates.

1. Romance. 2. Communication. 3. Physical intimacy.

Number one, the romance part, is not sex. Thatʼs number three, thatʼs the physical intimacy. The romance is the stuff that makes her feel


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www.CarlosXuma.com appreciated, that makes her feel like sheʼs worthy and desirable. Itʼs the stuff we were talking about under what women really want.

Communication is everything in between, everything that youʼre doing to make her understand how you think, how you feel, what she thinks, what she feels, and bringing things out of her into the open because she will keep them inside her. She will test you by not letting you know what is going on to see how much of a persevering man you are and able to get that out of her.

And finally physical intimacy is of course the sex, keeping her physically satiated, feeling physically like sheʼs satisfied. Itʼs really simple. It really is.

This model is all you need to make a woman feel whole and complete. You donʼt need a bunch of crazy crap that you read from some of the books out there in the book shelves. You just need these three simple elements.

The romance is created easily enough when you do a lot of the things that I talked about into Keeping Her part of the program along with communication and along with the physical intimacy. Definitely you want to check out the bonuses in this program regarding the sexual tips and the sexual techniques to keep her satisfied physically and youʼve pretty much got all three plates, my friend. You know what to do. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com Donʼt fall in love with falling in love. Over the long term, whether youʼre with one girlfriend, many girlfriends, donʼt fall in love with falling in love. This is something that happens to a lot of people is they like that feeling of falling in love. While there are many great parts to a relationship, there is also a lot of disillusionment and love will never be the romantic fix that you want it to be. Itʼs never going to be the cure all, with the thing that they write about in all the love songs. The reason that all those love songs are written unfortunately was because somebody really creative, a man or a woman, either broke up or was falling into the really emotionally intense part of a relationship, the crack pipe, or theyʼre going through a withdrawal, whatever it was that they are feeling the intense emotions of that experience and theyʼre trying to put it into words.

And thatʼs good but itʼs never going to be what it seems to be at the start. It will always be two people who just happen to be together for reasons that they have to rediscover and reinvent almost every day of their lives. So thatʼs probably the worst part of the work if you ask me, and itʼs not that hard. But donʼt be disillusioned, falling in love is getting addicted to that rush, getting addicted to those chemicals and youʼve got to understand that if you just fall in love with that part of the process, youʼre never going to find true fullfilment in any kind of relationship with a woman because youʼre always attached to the part thatʼs actually the easiest part to fall in love with because thereʼs no real work or energy there. Youʼve just got to ride that wave, the wave of euphoria.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Stay in control or in the dominant role, or else youʼre never going to be happy and youʼll never keep her. This is probably the last rule or strategy I can really say in this program that will have any effect or impact for you. Stay in the confident role. Be the Alpha man. Stay in control of yourself as well as the overall relationship and be able to have the skills to do so effectively. Thatʼs whatʼs most important.

Otherwise youʼre not going to be happy. Youʼre not going to be happy if the other woman is running the show. Sheʼs not going to be happy if youʼre not running the show and she will eventually leave you which will make you more unhappy than time before that. You will never keep her this way. You must remember that you have to stay in control.

Now, with those parting strategies, letʼs get into reading her body language. First of all, ignore all body language before youʼve gone out on a date. When you first meet a woman all that body language nonsense is just going to get in your way. Itʼs going to stop you from approaching her. Itʼs going to stop you from being in the conversation. Itʼs going to stop you from really being there with her. Itʼll even stop you in some places later on too, but again we donʼt want to go up in our head, body language is not a big deal for her as much. You donʼt have to be reading her dilated eyes and stuff like that. Itʼs all crap.

These are the signals that I want you to look for in terms of reading her body language within the relationship because these are signals she wants


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www.CarlosXuma.com you to pick up on, and if you donʼt pick up on them sheʼs going to think youʼre an idiot and sheʼs not going to tell you and then sheʼs going to start losing attraction, and you know what happens from here.

Here are the negative signs first. • Closed arms or crossed arms. • Turning away from you or not facing you is a negative indicator. Again, all of these can be construed as negative or positive given the situation. What you want to do is look for a bunch of them not, just one. • Rigidity, her being tense or rigid, thatʼs a bad sign generally. • Pulling away from you is not good. • A fake smile. A fake smile is any smile that doesnʼt get the eyes engaged or if the smile happens before the eyes. • Distracted or distant eyes. You can read these fairly easily. I think a lot of guys can tell when a woman is distracted or distant. • Looks down and away frequently. • Her hands are on her hips. • She plays with her clothes and picking at them. • Fast blinking, blinking frequently is generally a bad sign because itʼs a sign of tenseness or anxiousness. • Finger and foot tapping. • Shifting her weight from foot to foot.


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www.CarlosXuma.com • Lots of silence. Yeah, thatʼs a big one. • Short responses. • Lots of shrugging or refusing to really verbally engage with you. • Yawning a lot. • Frowning a lot. • Sneering. Sneering is bad, especially if itʼs not done in fun.

Intuitively you will know when a woman is not responding. So all of these signals will show at some point or another and you have to trust your intuition in knowing, “You know what, thereʼs something going on here. I just know sheʼs cold. I know thereʼs something going on here.” And I think this is something that actually men have developed through evolution is this ability to sense women signals but we donʼt pay attention to it like we used to, like we need to get back in touch with it.

Positive signs of body language that will counteract the other ones are things like: • Being affectionate. • Being touchy feely. • She reaches for your hand instead of just kind of letting her hand be there while you hold hers. Thereʼs a distinct difference there. • Her leaning in. • Strong eye contact or submissive eye contact is good.


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www.CarlosXuma.com • Lots of smiling. • She laughs a lot when sheʼs with you. • She primps, which is different than picking her. Itʼs more like she trying to make herself look better. • Giggling. • Lip biting. • Lots of self-touching or sheʼs touching herself a lot. • Pacing you where she starts to either follow the same speed of breathing or movement or actually mirrors you and shows the same gestures at the same time or assumes the same posture as you. Those are all positive.

Now those are good signals just to remember because when youʼre reading her body language those are going to be the first indicators that something is amiss. Thereʼs something that you might have done wrong or something that she thinks she might have done wrong and you need to attend to it. When you figure that out, youʼll know exactly what to do and Iʼve given you tips on how to bridge that conversation with her.

Now, reading a womanʼs signals. First of all, remember that a woman is never direct. Sheʼs always indirect. Itʼs part of her nature. Donʼt hate it. Donʼt argue with it. It just is. Sheʼs like this on purpose and thereʼs nothing you can do about it. So now we have to figure out what we are going to do about it, or how weʼre going to work with it.


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www.CarlosXuma.com First of all, never listen to a womanʼs words. Understand her cycles and manage them. I spoke of this earlier. Understand what her emotional cycles are as well as understand her physical cycles like menstrual cycle and PMS and things like that. Itʼs really important.

You set the structure and the pace for her. In other words, even in light of her resistance you must be the one to not listen to what sheʼs saying and consciously set the structure and pace for her of how things go. Even when she resists you because sheʼs going to resist you as a form of testing. This is where it gets tricky.

When I talk about resistance, Iʼm not talking about resisting you physically or anything like that. Iʼm talking about mental resistance or verbal resistance. You set the structure and pace with things in the relationship, but you have to be sensitive when you are making a mistake because it is possible that yes, once in a while youʼre going to be wrong. It can happen. It happens to me all the time. So even in light of that, you have to be able to be firm but realize maybe I could make a mistake, but you balance that.

There are times you have to be just acting in spite of that and be very sure of yourself and do it just because you know itʼs the right thing. Itʼs the principle of the thing. So donʼt listen to her words. Listen to what your heart tells you know you need to be doing because her words will resist you and what sheʼs doing is again testing perseverance.


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www.CarlosXuma.com Thatʼs the most illogical thing about women is they will tell you exactly the opposite of what they really want and expect you to still give them what they really want. Wow.

Whatʼs wrong with her today? This is really important. How do you figure out whatʼs wrong with her today and what do we do about it? These are the four things that might be wrong with a woman at any given time, so if youʼre wondering why sheʼs acting so cold and distant, here it is. 1. Something youʼve done. It was something you did. 2. It was something in her life that really has nothing to do with you. 3. Something going on inside her, her moods, her emotions. 4. Her hormones.

Letʼs go through them really quickly. Number one, whatever is wrong with her is something youʼve done. She can feel hurt and jealous over pretty much absolutely nothing, with the smallest things, but she wonʼt tell you because it would seem too forward and clingy to bring it up.

So hereʼs what happens. You start talking to some woman in a bar right next to you because she brings up a topic and now your girlfriend starts to feel a little bit hurt and jealous over it, even though it was nothing. You werenʼt being disrespectful. You werenʼt flirting or anything. You were just talking really a little bit. Now sheʼs going to be a little bit cold and distant and youʼre going to be like, “Whatʼs wrong with her now?” Sheʼs not going


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www.CarlosXuma.com to tell you. Youʼre going to ask her and sheʼs going to say, “Nothing, nothingʼs wrong. Itʼs okay. So how do you like your drink?” She will put on the play act of, “Letʼs keep going forward. Iʼll get over this.”

And the reason she wonʼt tell you is because she knows that even though what sheʼs feeling is real, she would feel weird, clingy, like a bitch if she told it to you. So what will she do? Sheʼll still be mad at you and sheʼll be mad at herself for being mad at you. Itʼs a crazy world, man.

Now, number two in those situations is that maybe whatever it is that is bothering her is something about her life that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Eight out of ten times this is whatʼs wrong with her. When you detect a weird coldness or slight shift in her mood, this is what it is and once you established this, you can then let it go and let her get over it on her own time.

Remember when I talked about the stages of things. The second stage was sheʼs acting a little cold and distant. This is why. Eight out of ten times, itʼs nothing to do with you. All you got to do is ask her, but be willing to be persistent when you need to and figure out, is it really something to do with you or is it something about her day? Chances are itʼs this. So donʼt be immediately taking it personally.

The third reason that something could be wrong with her is that itʼs a mood thing. Very often sheʼs testing you. She gets in a mood. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com She gets in a jealous mood. She gets in an angry mood. She gets in an insecure mood. Whatever the mood is sheʼs in a mood and now sheʼs going to take it out on you. Sheʼs testing you. Women know that itʼs immature and hurtful to test guys. They know it, but they canʼt help themselves and they arenʼt even aware that theyʼre doing it until later on.

Itʼs really, really important to know about testing and the whole handling of test is. Women know that they donʼt have to do this. They know itʼs stupid and kind of hurtful and very immature, but it is the only way that they can figure it out and they wonʼt get over it until later on. So just realize that sheʼs going to do it and itʼs like a poltergeist that has come in and taken possession of her body and made her do these things.

The reason a woman tests you, the reason she takes these moods on you like this is sheʼs testing your commitment level to the relationship. Is this a solid firm relationship that she can be safe in? If she pushes you and you run, you never cared about her and she was right for testing you. But if she tests you and you stay, she wins both ways. You stayed and you proved it to her. Wow.

And ultimately does he really care about me like he says he does? Thatʼs what she really wants to know. Does he really care about me like he says he does? She will push you away to see if you will stay with her and then this perseverance shows your commitment. She wants commitment. Itʼs programmed into her biologically and you can do nothing about that, my


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www.CarlosXuma.com friend. The only you can do is give it to her, show her the commitment and she will be there for you.

Of course, reason number four is hormones, plain and simple. Four out of five women admit to having PMS swings at some point in the month that affect their moods and they will take that out on you too. Have you ever get that feeling that relationships with women are more pain than theyʼre worth? You would think so, wouldnʼt it?

But if you know these things and you know what youʼre getting into and you agree with yourself that itʼs okay and you will deal with it and youʼll accept these things rather than resist them, you win. You get to have the relationship you always wanted. You get to have this woman for as long as you want to keep her. Youʼll get to keep things going and keep her attracted to you without losing her because you know what most men donʼt. You only need to accept these things as facts and go along with them and act in spite of them. Itʼs powerful stuff, man.

When weird randomness strikes or when random weirdness strikes:

1. I want you to assume that thereʼs a reason for her doing this. There is. There usually is. 2. Feelings are a reason for a woman to do something. Men donʼt think that feelings are a valid reason for doing something but they are for


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www.CarlosXuma.com women. Men do things because of legitimate, logical, deductive, rational reasoning.

Women do things just because they feel like it and feelings are enough of a reason for her. Remember that. Even if itʼs illogical or irrational itʼs still a reason for her. Pay attention. When this random weirdness strikes, pay attention. If something seems wrong ask her about it. Ask. You do have a justification of asking. Keep it neutral and funny. The way you can do that is like this, “You know, Iʼm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but it seems like youʼre kind of upset about something. Hey, can you help me to understand what is going on with you? You seem a little cold. Sweetie, is there anything you want to talk about? If you want to talk, Iʼm right here.”

The last one is really good because itʼs not so needy and itʼs actually the best way to close it out. So you start out with one or two of these and then you finish up with this one, “If you want to talk Iʼm here. I understand that you might not want to talk about it now and thatʼs cool. But letʼs just go out and have some lunch.”

And then you can be comfortable with her having her own separate mood. Her own separate angst if you will and you can be happy and okay in yours. You donʼt flaunt it or lord it over her, but you let her know, “You know what, it is okay. You can have your mood. Iʼm not


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www.CarlosXuma.com going to jump in that pool with you. But when youʼre ready Iʼm here for you to talk to.” Thatʼs the perfect way to explain it to her.

So keep it neutral the way you ask her. Make it clear that youʼre available but not too much pressure. If you pressure her, itʼs going to be harder for her to tell you and sometimes sheʼll be compelled to just give you something and it may not be the real thing.

Make it clear that youʼre available but not too much pressure and you also donʼt want to seem too needy and desperate and insecure that youʼre constantly asking her. 3. You will say whatʼs wrong? She will say nothing. Then that means keep asking until she tells you, so that sheʼs knows you really care. Let me say that again, when you go through that whole what's wrong? Nothing. Are you sure? Nothingʼs wrong. What sheʼs saying to you is keep asking me until I tell you, so that I can know that you really care about me.

Wow, amazing. So you have to really be able to read her well and know when thereʼs something wrong to keep pressing for it. But again, know when to stop and say, “Look, youʼre obviously resisting me here. When youʼre ready to talk about it, Iʼm here.”

Donʼt embarrass her. Donʼt do this in public where youʼre like, “Oh, sheʼs just having another one of her moods. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com Sheʼll get over it. Donʼt worry.” Donʼt do this sort of thing. Let her keep this situation private for herself so that she can work through it. Donʼt ask her if is sheʼs on her period or point it out, “Sheʼs on the rag again, dude.” Bad.

Politely excuse yourself and try later. This is the principle of patience in relationships and you have to understand that. Pay attention to her and understand that sometimes you canʼt do anything for her and the best thing you can do is to not be around her, to not be there. Politely excuse yourself and just try again later on. It is okay. Be patient. She will eventually tell you. 4. And kind of a fourth unwritten rule here is when this random weirdness strikes, recognize that she will often take out her unhappiness on the person she thinks is safest in her world. It doesnʼt matter if the unhappiness is related to you or not. You get it, my friend, because youʼre her man. She thinks youʼre the safest. She will take her unhappiness out on the person that she thinks is the safest, you.

But that doesnʼt mean that you need to take abuse. Letʼs be very clear here, even though she will do this and test you this way, she cannot abuse you and you have to know where she has reached the limit of abuse. When she crosses that line, you have to be the one to say, “Enough. Okay, I understand something is going on in your life but you donʼt treat me that way. Just because youʼre pissed at your mom does not mean that you take it out on me. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com You go figure that out. And when you want to talk to me calmly and with a little bit of a level head, weʼll go from there.”

Thatʼs the manʼs job to do it. Thatʼs one that most guys donʼt ever catch on to and they donʼt realize where to draw that line. They think that they can just take shit until eventually she gets over it. Youʼve got to have a line of self-dignity too, my friend.

There you go. Thatʼs how to handle any kind of weird, random crap that gets thrown your way. She will get so irritated with you that you donʼt pick up on her signals. Thatʼs what she gets irritated at. The one thing that pisses women off the most is that youʼre not picking up on her subtle signals to you that thereʼs something wrong. Sheʼs signals. She signals. She signals. She throws up what she thinks is a flare when in fact itʼs like a match that was lit behind her back and youʼre supposed to figure that out. Youʼre supposed to pick it up. Welcome to your role in the relationship, my friend. You didnʼt know you were signing up for this, did you? Itʼs true.

Now, Iʼm going to cover as kind of a way to finish this up some signals that you need to watch out for. These are the 18 signs that sheʼs checking out or about to leave the relationship. I want you to watch for this.


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www.CarlosXuma.com 1. She acts less bubbly than she normally does. 2. Sheʼs less affectionate than she usually is. These are consistent ones, by the way. If you see this as a pattern, itʼs an issue. Handle it. 3. She stops asking you about your life. 4. She starts reminiscing about the past. She starts living in the past a little. 5. She seems distracted and sad. 6. She gets annoyed much easier. Sheʼs like a hair trigger and getting ready to just go off and explode. 7. She says youʼre not listening a lot. Listen for that one. That is an important one, if she says youʼre not listening a lot to you. Thatʼs one to watch out for. If sheʼs saying youʼre not listening, it means sheʼs not feeling heard. 8. She becomes less available to you, less time, less emotions, less everything. 9. She makes excuses to end the night early. 10. She acts less excited to hear from you when you do talk to her, when you call her up or when you meet with her. Sheʼs not so happy. These actually are kind of a progression youʼre going to start seeing here. From 1 to 18, this is an increasing order of severity. So now were getting pretty severe here. 11. She stops calling you. 12. She starts bickering.


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www.CarlosXuma.com 13. She cuts off conversations, like sheʼll just chop it off where she wants to. 14. She starts criticizing you. That could just be in private first, and then it becomes in public later on. 15. She starts to try to control you. 16. She becomes downright disrespectful. Now weʼre getting into really dark territory here. This is getting very, very bad. 17. She defies you and starts to take over leadership of the relationship. Sheʼs starting to grab the reigns. Sheʼs starting to grab control. 18. She puts you down in front of other people which is to me is the ultimate in disrespectful. When youʼve reached number 18, you have reached the bottom of the bucket my friend. So you can see how these things progress from 1 to 18 in terms of severity. Starting out with acting a little less than her normal bubbly self all the way down to just downright disrespecting actively, actively pushing your buttons and pushing you away. Watch for these signals. These are the only signals that you will usually even notice. There are others but these are very distinct ones that you can start to see a pattern in.

Finally, how to spot the signals and avoid shipwreck? You want to see those signals. 1. Pay freaking attention. Ask her about things. Ask her what they mean. Donʼt just hope things are going to get better on their own. Ask and talk to her. Communicate. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.

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www.CarlosXuma.com 2. React calmly. When you overreact, sheʼs going to be less likely to be as direct to you the next time. She wonʼt bring it to your attention and that will make it even harder for you to spot the signals next time because she wonʼt be as open about them. Sheʼs going to be more afraid to make them visible. Do you see how that becomes a neurotic destructive cycle? 3. Fix the problem right freaking now. Take action. Donʼt wait. So once you pay attention and you see it, react calmly, stay calm, fix the problem right when you see it right now. Donʼt wait. Take action right now. 4. If you screw it up apologize and then just fix it. Donʼt make a big deal. Donʼt try to save your ego. She doesnʼt recognize your ego. She only recognizes the connection between you and her. Let me say it again, sheʼs not recognizing your ego, she recognizes whatʼs connected between you and her. 5. Be willing to move on. Sometimes your ship is heading towards the rocks and it will hit. There is nothing thatʼs going to stop it. Itʼs going to hit those rocks and itʼs going to destroy you with it. So get in that lifeboat and get off. Be willing to move on. Donʼt listen to what she says when she says, “I still care for you.” When a woman says I still care for you, it doesnʼt mean thereʼs a hope for you to get back together. She doesnʼt want you anymore. Sheʼs saying that to minimize the pain.


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www.CarlosXuma.com There is no chance for the relationship. Youʼre just going to destroy your dignity and confidence trying to save it. This is why you donʼt go back and try to win back an ex-girlfriend because nine times out of ten, actually 99 times out of 100, she used to feel for you but that feeling has gone and dissipated into apathy, into nothingness. Itʼs just a, “Blah, oh, I donʼt care.” And thatʼs the worst place to be. That means she doesnʼt care anymore.

She may say she cares but she doesnʼt really and thereʼs really no hope of recovering it and youʼre going to wreck yourself trying to win her back. Itʼs like trying to gather up all the wood of this smashed ship that hit the rocks and recreate the boat again and nail it back together while youʼre still in those waves being crashed against the rocks. Do you see how hard it is? Donʼt do that to yourself, man. Move on. Thatʼs the ultimate statement of your own self-worth is that youʼre done trying to make something bad better when you know that you canʼt do it.

And there you go. Wow, going through this section made me really realize just how much work it can be seem like sometimes when youʼre trying to understand women and keep a relationship going with women. But when you really get it, when you really understand how it works, itʼs not that bad. The signals are there. Theyʼre distinct. Theyʼre clear. The actions are clear about what you need to do. The question is will you do it? Is it worth it to you?


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www.CarlosXuma.com I hope it is because youʼre going to find like I have that the most growth Iʼve ever experienced has been in the context of a long-term relationship and being around a woman, being with women has been not only a great learning experience for myself in growing myself, but in just overall an appreciation of life. I now appreciate them like Iʼve never have before. I have no anger. I have only appreciation for this great and wonderful thing called women, and I hope you do too.


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www.CarlosXuma.com © Morpheus Productions, LLC. The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services of trained professionals in any field, including, but not limited to, psychological, financial, medical, or legal matters. In particular, you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment, action, or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates, or any of their affiliates, will be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages that may result, including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death.


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