FHM Philippines - December 2015 - Rocky_45 [CPUL].pdf

DECE M B E R 2015 www.fhm.com.ph

THE NO. 1 MAGAZINE IN THE PHILIPPINES

#fhmtwerkitlikeKimDomingo

80,000 800,000 3,000,000 and she’s not even a celebrity...YET

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domingo twerk it like a hot internet sensation! DO IT WHERE IT’S TIGHT

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ISSN 0119-7681 12

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18 + Con t e n t s A R e no t sui tA bl e f oR minoRs

M I L L E N N I AL

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#DOMINATE SOCIAL–MEDIA WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO INCREASE FOLLOWERS WRITE POWERFUL HASHTAGS TURN LIKES TO MONEY BECOME DAMN FAMOUS

A DELICIOUS HIGH-FAT, HIGH-SALT, HIGH-EVERYTHING HOLIDAY FEAST WE SHOULD EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY!

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@ t here a lki m d o m i n g o

P H O T O G R A P H Y : R I A R E G I N O O F FAT C AT S T U D I O S , J O N AT H A N B A L D O N A D O ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S : LO U I S A R E Ñ A S , M E LV I N C A L I N G O

T he F r ench-F i l ipi n a I nt er net s en s at ion t a ke s mor n i n g s el f ie s t o g r e at er hei ght s.

70 A SPREAD FIT FOR FATTIES

86 SHOOTING THE BULL WITH JAY CONTRERAS

Turkey for Noche Buena? Yes, please.

Kamikazee ends their decades plus stint in Pinoy rock—frontman Jay indulges us in this month’s maharot man test.

76 QUICK AND EASY How to pull a quick diddle, anytime, any place.

78 HATCHING #SOCIALMEDIASUPERSTAR SCHEMES How to rake in P50,000 anything on the Internet.

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88 TWO GIRLS, ONE… SPREAD Models Hazel Cha and Karen Punzalan show off their bestie experience.

82 PRO-CAGER HOPEFULS

92 MODELS ON PARADE Your favorite FHM babes

We poke our heads in the Pilipinas Commercial Basketball League’s 1st season to find out who’s the new kid on the hardcourt.

stop by to give you a proper 2015 sendoff..

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STA RT E R

18 SUNKISSED Giselle Piña's shimmering bronze skin makes us cry.

22 PULBURA-FREE EXPLOSIVES Didn't know watermelons were perfect sub for pyro display? They are.

26 BEEP! BEEP! The ins and outs of train commuter cards.

28 MERRY HO, HOS! Why Santa Claus' sack is so big, plus other dirty jokes

LO U NGE

34 BUY A RUG, DO YOUR LADY ON IT This is how Hollywood flicks do it.

STYLE

106 FORMAL WEAR FOR YOUR WRIST

118 EMERGENCY MARTILYO And these pocket sized tools will save you from disaster.

Suggestions follow...

38 LADIES’ CONFESSIONS Men helping women help themselves.

AC C ES S

38 THE FORCE: A BRUSH UP A brush up on the rest of the cult flicks, before Episode VII hits the screens.

44 RAZORBACK TURNS 25! They threw a concert—then sat with us to talk legacy.

30 APOLOGIZE WITH JEWELRY

48 GEEK CONVENTION

...and other womenapproved things that will cancel out every atraso.

What happens when we stop by the E-Sports and Gaming Summit.

120 MARCO HO 108 KOREANOVELA YOUR COAT WEAR How to wear which coat, in these perfect-ber month conditions.

GIRLF RIE ND 112 JHANE SANTIAGUEL

Is going solo. We help keep her company.

UPGRADE

116 SCALING MOUNTAINS IN DECEMBER

Sounds like a better deal than being human sardinas everywhere in the city this holiday.

AKA Bogart the Explorer used to live on P20 a day, here's how he isn't doing it anymore.

122 WHEELS A SHINY The Volkswagen GTI and three Suzukis for Christmas!

124 YOUR ESKINITA, LIVE ON GOOGLE STREET And other tech updates that make us nervous.

126 HOW TO STALK PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA Rule 1: calm your thumbs.

128 TRUE STORIES! Major flubs, disclosed.

8 FH M DECEMBER 2015



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P H O T O G R A P H Y : Y V E S H U Y T R U O N G , K U R T A LV A R E Z , R G M E D E S T O M A S ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S : E D W A R D M I C H A E L AT I E N Z A , J E R E M I A H I D A N A N

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T H E TEAM: WHAT FHM ers HAVE BEEN U P TO T HI S M ON T H Kim Domingo broke the Internet without having to take her clothes off like another famous Kim, but for our cover we just had to ask for a little more, and here you go!

Ina Raymundo glowing at her autograph signing, no need for nostalgia when the present looks this good.

Style editor Ash claims, “bagay kami o” with leggy Lenovo muses Alyssa Valdez and Monika Sta. Maria. Kung height lang siguro ang pinag-usapan...

We put our collective health on the line to give you the most sinful Christmas food guide you’ll see this month–the beers were props, swear.

Team FHM represented at the 2015 Men’s Health Urbanathlon with a win over rivals-for-the-day Team Top Gear–now they have to drive us around for a week.

Chief Allan with Image Comics co-founder Whilce Portacio at the Tokyo Internatioal Comic Festival 2015. Ike !

As you can see, Associate Art Director JL has many antics during shoots: Ha ha! Go, JL, go! That’s why he’s always tired apparently.

ERRATUM: To our friends at Philippine Wrestling Revolution, sorry for calling you guys Philippines Wrestling Federation. Force of habit we guess. Sorry for calling Mr. Manalo, Mark D. Panalo. You’re all winners in our book.




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I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . . Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos Managing Editor Allan P. Hernandez Art Director Paul C. Villariba Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan Senior Features Editor Khyne L. Palumar Assistant Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay Editorial Assistants, Pong M. Castillo, Chise A. Alcantara Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . . Managing Editor BA Borleo Associate Section Editor Gelo G. Gonzales Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas Staff Writer Neps N. Firmalan, John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A. Hogaza Video Production Specialist Engelheart V. Jarilla WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM... Words Chad Rosario, Ron Jay Eduvas, Jen Chan, Noni Odulio, Max Mahinay, Chiara Cui, Paulo Aguilera, Rey Joble, Toni Antiporda, Vince Sales, Tatin Yang Illustrations Mikke Gallardo, Melvin Calingo, Edward Michael Atienza, Louie Arenas, Jeremiah Idanan, Gilbert Daroy Pictures Yves Huy Truong, Kurt Alvarez, Mark Jesalva, Jay Tablante, Paul Mondok, Ria Regino, Jonathan Baldonado, Chris Lucas, RG Medestomas, Jerico Montemayor, Heidi Pascual-Aquende Styling/Makeup/Hair Giovanna Avila, Beam Mariano, Janina Dizon, Badj Genato, Julius Villanueva, Victoria Yujuico-Keet, Max Gana, Debra Bernales, Amanda Padilla, Ronnie Dungca, Rhoy Cervantes, Jacque de Borja, Chinky Tanjangco, Johan Pilo, Prin Ces Johnson Pionan, Ysra Guarino, Rhina Montemayor F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L N E T W O R k International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar, (UK) Damien McSorley SUMMIT MEDIA President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher Aeus Kevin Reyes Digital Publisher Adel De Jesus Deputy Group Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Graphic Artist Louis Arenas Administrative Services Manager Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel ADVERTISING Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-key Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco key Account Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar, Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print) Ginger Taduran, Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager (Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Ashley Balla, Chinggay M. Cabit Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano, Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili M E D I A R E L AT I O N S Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez TRADE MARkETING Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Trade Marketing Associate Kamille Guirnalda Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator Patric Malicdem C R E AT I V E S O L U T I O N S Team Art Director Jaykee Evangelista Copywriter Miguel Escobar Digital Art Director Rey Etable Associate Art Director Jerome de Dios Carlo Maala Senior Web Designer Teddy Garcia Producer Tara Llavore C I R C U L AT I O N Deputy National Circulation Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada Provincial Sales Manager Alexis Martinez International Distribution Specialist Ulyssis Javier Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis, Noreen Sescon-Peligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino, Jenny Reparep, Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II Distributor SpecialistNorth Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor Specialist-Central Luzon Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-Central Visayas Robert Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western Visayas Ivan Dela Pena Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao Eric Ferdinand Gasatan Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales Representative-GMA John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy Carino Subscription Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste Circulation Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias

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letterS 12/15

Get in touch!

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ins tagR am@ FhmPhiloFFiCial

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6F & 7F Robinsons CybeRgate CenteR toWeR 3 PioneeR ComPlex, PioneeR st., mandaluyong City 1550

TO A N OT H E R Y E A R OF ASS K I C K I N G, B R O!

And another epic FHM issue has been released. Congrats on your first black and white cover! I love Ina Raymundo’s burning hot spread. I don't know if I should call her a miss or a missus. because she has the body of a miss. and the experience and wisdom of a missus.—help me out here, guys! She just proved that 40 is the new sexy. I also enjoyed reading Business Class Your Life and staring at the Hotties of FHM JAV Heat. Thank you again for an explosive issue and also for being my guide to an ass-kicking 2015! Keneth Dave Fajilan, via email

IT’S BLACK! IT’S WHITE!

Seeing the black and white cover of your November made me even more excited to buy my very own copy. I was wondering whether it was possible for you guys to go through with this kind of aesthetic concept, and you actually did! It turned out brilliantly. Good work, FHM team! Khibs Suelto, via Facebook 12 FH M DECEMBER 2015

FANBOYING!

YOU HEART OUR ART DIRECTORS!

Orlee Pasion, via Instagram facebook.com/FHM.ph •

I just want to applaud you on a job well done with the magazine’s layouts. I’m not sure where exactly it started, but you’ve been coming up with some really great layouts lately. Also, you guys did an awesome job on the FHM Dare cards. They’re so fun and quirky, ha ha! I do hope you get Ms. Ellen Adarna on the cover again soon. It’s been a while since she’s graced your cover. Anyway, continue kicking ass and rocking every issue! Love y’all! Janine Banday, via Facebook


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OH, CHINITO…

I have been an avid fan of your magazine since forever and I would really love it if you guys would help me surprise someone really special to me, my Mr. Chinito, to thank him. He has inspired me to try out new things that I would have never had the courage to do before, like dragon boating, hiking, marathon running, and I love the new me. I want to tell him that he’ll always have a special place in my life no matter what. Thanks FHM! Masked Angel, via Facebook

NO—THANK YOU!

As an avid fan of your magazine, I could not thank you enough for using my shot of Ms. RC on your article “These 6 Women From Resorts World Manila Are This Week’s #FHMOfficeCrush.” Carlo Presto, via Facebook

fhmexperienceina

tweats

Now, this will surely complete my Sabado Nights! Ageless beauty, @inaraymundo95! #fhmexperienceina Rodney Collantes, @rodzilla2 8 8 0, via Twitter OMG Ina freaking Raymundo! <3 She still looks so young! She is indeed forever <3 #fhmexperienceina M-J-N-C, @MjCruz10 97, via Twitter Pinay legend, Ina Raymundo is still hot at 40! Thank you #fhmphilippines #fhmexperienceina Brian Gonzales, @brianG10 24, via Twitter

NOW, WHE RE’S OUR G I F T? Please include this in your December issue as a gift for being a loyal collector. Thanks so much FHM! Anonymous twitter.com/fhmphil •

My wife and I buy your magazine every month. We are apart from each other right now so maybe you can help us feel a little bit closer. Our birthdays and anniversary are coming up, and my wife will be surprised to see our pics in your pages. I sent you guys censored and uncensored versions, thank you! Earl Akins, via email

For future reference: If penis photos are involved, a censored version will suffice. Thank you.

I’ve been a loyal collector of your title for quite some time now so I thought you guys could include a picture of my collection in your magazine as a Christmas gift. Thank you so much FHM! #ilovefhmphilippines #proudfhmphilippinescollector Leo N Ard, via Facebook

G ALLE RY


YAY, BOOBIES AND…OH

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FRESH LOOK

PREMIERE EARTHQUAKE O-RIN O-RING Vibrating O-ring for earth-shattering experience.

# f itfo rple as u r e

It’s her serve, and your chance to score.

ADVERTISINGFEATURE

D A O R THE SMART POWER

The all-new ISUZU mu-X packs the power and fun you need in an SUV, and more

S

UVs could fall on either of two extremes: a wingman to the great outdoors or a reliable family car. This is where the new Isuzu mu-X strikes a balance and lands smack in the middle. It can haul your brood on family days, but it’s still equally and every bit be the perfect trooper-on-wheels for weekend adventures. We all know of its brawny style and functional design from the predecessor model, but thiss

new release promises even better features for a fun ride anytime, anywhere! The seven-seater Isuzu mu-X now runs on a 3.0L displacement, with a maximum torque of 380Nm @1,800-2200rpm, which provides more hatak power to take you uphill smoothly even when it’s at full capacity. While many SUVs in the market sell for fuel-efficiency and affordability for its diesel engines, the Isuzu mu-X banks more as a silent road rider. Also, you get less bounce with its independent double

The Isuzu mu-X is equipped with a smart key called Passive Entry and a Start/Stop System for turning the engine on and off with just a push of a button.

TURBO POWER Isuzu’s turbo diesel engine is famous for its reliability and efficiency.

POWER TO CONTROL Classy black leather seats and dash with minimal aluminium trimming. Plus it’s comfortable, and that’s all that really matters.

POWER TO MOVE Twelve cup holders and 19 storage compartments, including a shelf integrated on the dashboard.

Head on, the Isuzu mu-X sports a meanlooking mug.

Take the Isuzu mu-X anywhere and it’ll ﬁt in.

POWER ADJUST DRIVER’S SEAT

The mu-X seats up to seven, with collapsible rows for different seating conﬁgurations. Long hours on the road aren’t a problem, with its Power Adjust Driver Seat for your comfort.

wishbone suspension with coil spring and stabilizer, a huge plus when you plan to take your date on rough off-road. That means you won’t mind more time behind the wheel while your lady passenger sits comfortably beside you. In the Isuzu mu-X, everybody wins! We know that with great (engine) power comes great responsibility, and the Isuzu mu-X has the safety department all covered for the vigilant wheelman in you. The new Daytime Running Lights (DRL) feature provides better eyes on the road, and improves your visibility to other drivers. The built-in Anti-lock Brake System (ABS) and Traction Control System (TCS) are essential in crash avoidance when just pounding a foot

on the brake pedal won’t save you. Now, for the fun part: enjoy the seven-inch infotainment touchscreen neatly meshed on the dash for playing audio-visual man-materials, or the 10-inch roof-mounted monitor if you decide to have some backseat fun. All these are just among the many cool, functional, and safety features every motorist deserves. All in all, the Isuzu mu-X proves to be a stalwart for a worry-free drive in the city, or a bold cruise out of town. It’s a powerful machine that’s great-looking to boot. Whether you’re a family man or single and swingin’, the Isuzu mu-X’s mix of style, function, undeniable machismo make it a true keeper.

POWER TO SHIFT Five-speed automatic transmission with sequential shift. Swabeng-swabe ang kambyo!

DAYTIME RUNNING LIGHTS (DRL) clear the path ahead and establish your presence on the road.

POWER TO ACCESS A GPS-enabled information display on the dashboard makes driving feel sort of like playing a video game.

STARTER

Per fect st ock

Wi s d o M Yo u s H o u l d n’t l e ave H o M e Wit H o ut

Giselle Piña is a study in the Perfect Play of Genetics

PHOTOGRAPHY:

yVes huy truonG INTERVIEW:

chad rosario HAIR AND MAKEUP:

GioVanna aVila 18 FH M DECEMBER 2015



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DECEMBER 2015 FH M 19

f i l i p i n as a r e d ef i n i t e ly t h e b est w i f e m at e r i a l— b u t d o esn ’ t ev e ryo n e a l r e a dy k n ow t h at ?

If we had the power to clone hot women, we’d probably use Giselle Piña’s DNA. The genetic composition is mind-blowing—long sexy stems, smooth tanned skin, jet-black locks, and the bum of a Latina. Also worth mentioning is her carefree attitude and eagerness to learn. Case in point: “I’m not sure what a late night nookie is, but I would love to know more,” shares Giselle. We’re sure a lot of you are willing to show her that! How does it feel to be on FHM? Great! I can’t wait to get the phone calls from family in the Philippines asking if that’s their relative in the magazine, ha ha! We learned that you were here in Manila several months back, and that you had wanted to work with us. If you had called us we would have gladly obliged. You didn't call me! But this worked out 20 FH M DECEMBER 2015

fine—you are forgiven, ha ha! Your features are very Filipino. Are you 100-percent Pinay? I’m actually half-Filipina, half-Spanish, which basically means I am halfway to becoming a beauty queen. Right on! Are you always this comfortable wearing minimal pieces of clothing in front of the camera? I am now. In the beginning stages of modeling, it was always very unnatural. Now as long as I vibe well with the photographer, it’s very liberating! Try it! We’ll pass for our readers’ sake. You, on the other hand, look amazing— even with no bottoms on. Do you believe that “no pants are the best pants?” All day, every day, always! And what do you do to keep those legs ultra-toned? Switch up the workouts! Cardio twice a week, hot yoga sculpt, Pilates reformers, barre classes—anything that will shock your body into not facebook.com/FHM.ph •


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being too comfortable. Aside from those stems, what body part of yours gets complemented the most? Definitely my behind. It’s like a little bubble butt, I’ve been told. I book a lot of swim jobs because of my butt—it’s so strange! I am definitely not a Kim Kardashian, but I think it’ll do. In your opinion, are Filipina women the best lovers? Filipina women, in general, are the best. We are outspoken, we cook the best food, we have great skin, and we age to perfection. Oh, and we’re super ganda. Filipinas are definitely the best wife material—but doesn’t everyone already know that? Any chance we’ll see you in town again soon? If I do visit again, you'd most likely find me swimming with the whale sharks in Palawan, getting a full body massage on the beach, being fanned, and fed chocolate! FH M

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i b o o k A loT o f Sw i m jo b S b E cAu S E o f m y b u T T; i T ’ S So ST R A n g E ! i A m d E f i n i T E ly n oT A k im kA R dASh i A n b uT i Think iT’ll do

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FH M

MAD SCI E N CE

Crackle p op boom! How to ma ke stuff e xplode —sa fe ly!

WORDS:

CHISE ALCANTARA PHOTOGRAPHY:

KURT ALVAREZ PROPS:

BEAM MARIANO 22 FH M DECEMBER 2015

The New Year is coming around the corner and you guys know that it wouldn’t be that great a celebration without a bunch of explosions! Now, setting aside that fireworks are dangerous, hazardous, and environmentally damaging, they're really just awesome to watch. So don’t let the paltry torotot be the lone star in the revelry. There are other ways to blow stuff facebook.com/FHM.ph •


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up that do not endanger your appendages. With the help of bona fide geeks Jan Patrick Calupitan, a PhD Student at the Nara Institute of Science and Technology (Japan) and University of Paul Sabatier (France), and Abba Marie Moreno, registered chemist, we’re about to science the shit out of some ordinary household items...

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DRY ICE DOME

HOW TO: Take a garden hose, some liquid soap, and some dry ice. Place the soapy water inside a container that has an opening you can stick the hose in. Place one end of the hose inside the container and then dip the other end in some liquid soap. The dry ice will "blow" some cool smoky subzero bubbles! THE SCIENCE: “Bubbles are basically liquids filled with gas. Dry ice is solid carbon dioxide; at room temperature it sublimates to form gaseous carbon dioxide. Wiping cloth with bubble solution around the container forms a thin layer of liquid, which fills up with carbon dioxide as the dry ice sublimates to form the said gas,” says Calupitan. SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: Just don’t touch dry ice with your bare hands! Yep, it’s ice that can burn your skin, who would’ve thunk? MESS METER: 0/5 (It evaporates, so yeah)

CHARMING THE FLAME HOW TO: Get a glass bottle, some alcohol (at least 70 percent solution), and a kitchen lighter torch. Put some alcohol inside the bottle and shake it around. Ignite the opening of the bottle. Blow air inside the bottle after every ignition to refill it with oxygen . THE SCIENCE: “To create fire you need heat, fuel, and oxygen. You have a lot of alcohol in the atmosphere inside the bottle. Igniting the inside of the bottle will cause the alcohol to burn. Burning consumes the

oxygen inside the bottle. This causes the pressure inside the bottle to decrease relative to the pressure ourside. The outside pressure is able to push the flame down the bottle,” says Calupitan. SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: Even if the fire is contained inside a small bottle, you can still get burned. Wear gloves and wipe off any alcohol spillage outside the bottle. Also, if possible, try to conduct the experiment in an open-air area. MESS METER: 1/5

GENERAL SAFETY TIPS FOR YOUR MAD LABORATORY! 1 Keep open flames away from flammable objects. 2 Ensure proper ventilation, especially when your experiment involves gases. 3 Always wear protective gear: goggles, gloves, and lab gowns, especially if you're dealing with corrosive agents.

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HOW TO: This is the classic baking soda-and-vinegar volcano science project you aced as a kid because you had your parents do it. Mix up a concoction of soapy water, food coloring, and baking soda. Pour it inside the container inside the volcano. Add vinegar. Watch it fizz. THE SCIENCE: If you had listened to your elementary school science teacher, you would probably know how this works. But here's a refresher. “Baking soda, also known as sodium bicarbonate, reacts with the acetic acid in the vinegar to produce carbon dioxide gas as one of its by-products. Carbon dioxide is formed as bubbles escape the container, thereby producing the visible explosion,” explains Moreno. SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: There aren’t really any safety issues here, but it could really goo up your kitchen if you’re not careful. MESS METER: 3.5/5 DECEMBER 2015 FH M 23

starterlist

WATERMELON NINJA HOW TO: Get a whole watermelon and about 200 pieces of rubber bands and carefully place them around the center of fruit. Keep doing so until your fruit-torturing desires are sated. THE SCIENCE: “When you stretch a rubber band around a watermelon, you store potential energy around it. Add a lot of rubber bands and your watermelon cannot contain this huge amount of potential energy. So

this potential energy discharges and causes your fruit to break apart and burst out all the sweetness inside,” says Calupitan. SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: There isn’t much danger here besides getting hit by the rubber bands. So just stand back and enjoy the messy magic. MESS METER: 5/5

PR ES S UR E CANNO N

HOW TO: Get a a couple of carbonated vitamin tablets and an empty canister. Tape the tablet on the lid of the canister, fill about half the canister with water, then close the lid. Quickly turn the canister upside down, and place it on the table. THE SCIENCE: You may be asking yourself, “Where does all the energy come from?!” Before you start believing in those commercials that tell you about the magical effects these vitamins can do for your body, listen to what our scientists have to say. “Some medicine tablets produce carbon dioxide–the same gas that causes fizzing in softdrinks. Trapping this gas in a small container Causes pressure to build up, popping the canister out,” says Calupitan. SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: Again, this one is completely safe, and is probably good for you if you decide to ingest the spoils of the experiment. MESS METER: 3/5 24 FH M DECEMBER 2015



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starterinfographics Card is valid up to four years from date of purchase. Mas magtagal pa siya kaysa sa last girlfriend mo. LONGEVITY

Has a load limit of P8,000. That’s 400 MRT rides from Quezon Avenue to Boni Station.

Introducing the Beep card: the solution to the metro’s problematic rail transit system. Or is it?

Our country’s train system— especially the Metro Rail Transit (MRT)— sucks. Look, we just can’t sugarcoat the disaster that it is. It’s so bad presidential hopefuls next year will surely be including the train situation in their national agenda. Yes, the daily commute is now at par with other national issues like the yearly budget, security, and corruption. Because new trains are slow to come, if they will ever, the Department of Transportation and Communication has come up with this: a ticketing system that involves a reloadable contactless smart card called the “Beep” card. Let’s see how it works:

THE FUTURE OF BEEP

26 FH M NOVEMBER 2015

LOAD/CREDIT BALANCE

MATTER OF USE

You can keep it in your wallet, just tapping your cash stash instead. However, doing so would also clue in pickpockets how much you’re worth.

TH E N EW B E E P CAR D VS. TH E OLD MAG N ETI C CAR D

There’s always that millisecond heart attack every time you feed your magnetic card into the steel turnstile. Baka kainin.

STURDINESS OF MATERIAL

It’s pretty fragile for a plastic card, so make sure not to sit on it.

BUSINESS IDEAS

The Beep Smart Card is primarily owned by the Ayala Corporation and Metro Pacific Investments Corporation. So, Mr Henry Sy, if you’re planning to enter the competition, here’s our suggestion for your smart card’s name/brand: The “Toot” Card. Why beep, when you can...?

It has a minimalist design. They got that part right.

Sino ba ang presidente ngayon?

SOON, IN JEEPNEYS

If the initial run is successful, they are also planning to introduce the Beep card as an alternative payment method on the Philippine Metro South Commuter Line (the old PNR line), public buses and jeepneys, tollways, and convenience stores.


Has a maximum value of P100. A measly four rides from North Station—Taft station. Bonus ride pa yung isa.

USABILITY

It’s reloadable. You can keep the card even if the balance reaches zero.

DESIGN

You can occasionally sit on it. Take note: occasionally.

DISCOUNTS Senior citizens and PWDs must register a couple of days and wait for their discounts.


fhmphilofficial

One-time use only. It’ll then get “recycled” afterwards.

HASSLEFREE TRANSFER

Recognized in all metro railways. One card can be used in all LRT and MRT stations.

Tickets can be used on one railway line only. Parang Pokèmon, you got to buy them all!

PROBABLY IN SARI-SARI STORES, TOO

Thanks to the Beep card, we now know that the DOTC has an automated fare collection brand called Transpo. Potentially, you can use your Beep card in any services and locations in which Transpo logos are found. www.fhm.com.ph

W O R D S : R O N JAY E D U VAS P H OTO G R A P HY : M A R K J ESA LVA

B eep! beep !

SVT is usable up to three months from date of purchase.

starter

Money lies

Ho ho ho! Out of this world

Q: How do astronomers organize a party? A: They planet. Veigar, via Facebook

See the light

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. YoYoda, via Facebook

Family feud

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.” MyCorona, via Facebook

Two students are arguing when their teacher enter the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” A boy answers, “We found a P100 bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The boys gave the teacher the P100. Watanabi, via Facebook

DIRTIEST JOKE SHE KNOWS


Q: Why is Santa Claus’ sack so big? A: Because he only comes once a year! Danielle, Editorial Assistant, 22


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Ala eh ! Q: Taga Batangas ka ba? A: Hinahanapan kasi kita... Pero “ala eh” BoyAmbot, via Facebook M r. P ale n g ke “Nung nakilala kita, yung puso ko naging parang presyo ng mga bilihin. Kasi dati mura lang, pero ngayon, hindi na mapigilang magmahal.” Ansimar, via Facebook Bu s o g l u s o g “Natatandaan mo ba nung sinabi kong, “Hindi kita mahal?” Sobrang nabusog ako nun eh… Kinain ko kasi lahat ng sinabi ko.” FlyTheButterfly, via Facebook P arallel t h i n k i n g “Alam mo ba kapag sumama ka sa matatalino... Tatalino ka rin. Kapag sa mga adik.. Magiging adik ka rin. Try mo kaya sumama sakin. Baka maging akin ka rin.” JeanGrey, via Facebook www.fhm.com.ph

I L L U S T R AT I O N : M I K K E G A L L A R D O

BAR R O O M JOKES

Yo u c an ’ t s e e m e “Uy, sabi ng doctor malala na daw ang sakit ko sa puso. Dalawa na lang daw ang option: either ICU or you see me.” John Cena, via Facebook

FH M

HOW TO SAY YOU’RE

G I FT G U IDE

Finding the perfect present for your woman is hard enough as it is. Add an atraso and you have your work cut out for you. We help narrow down ways of making amends… WORDS: JEN CHAN PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA

FH M

G I FT G UI D E

01

There’s really just one rule! The weight of your gift must be directly proportional to how badly you screwed up. If you have major points to earn back, be prepared to spend.

L igh t B ox

Women love grand romantic gestures, but they love grand public apologies even more. Hold your own a la John Cusack in Say Anything or tap into your inner Andrew Lincoln in Love, Actually with this awesome and humbling declaration of your slave devotion. P2,999, Typo

02

L ife o f t he Part y Fu l l - Fa c e Make u p Ki t

If you’ve been paying attention to your girl, then you should know what she wants for Christmas. But seeing as you’re in hot water now, you probably have no clue. Our tip: Get her this holiday gift set. Chances are, all her favorite cult products will already be in it, saving you the trouble of choosing just one and (predictably) getting it wrong. P2,000, Benefit

03

Minsan Parinig, Minsan Patama, Madalas Hugot

Have a laugh over some of the funniest hugot memes ever invented. She’ll be sure to laugh at it, too. Just be prepared to get ribbed for all your worth. P195, National Bookstore www.fhm.com.ph

04

Gourmet Chocolate If she’s giving you the cold shoulder, let these designer chocolates serve as peace offering. She might be able to ignore you, but she won’t be able to ignore these—they’ll melt! P630, (Nama Au Lait, Nama Champagne) Royce

05

A dozen rose plushies Is the idea of buying her real, and therefore, malalantang flowers at odds with your kuripot principles? Get your girl a dozen plushie roses instead. They’ll never wilt and they’ll never die—just like your love for her. Yaaan! P119.75, Toys R Us



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06

FH M

GI FT G U I D E

Satin lingerie First things first: This is not for you; this is for her. Forget those tacky and sleazy rags that no real woman would be caught dead wearing and opt for lingerie that’s sexy but tasteful. P.S. You know you’re forgiven when she offers to wear it for you. P1,890 (nightie), P1,690 (bra), P790 (panties), Women’s Secret

10

09

D IY ‘s l a ve ’ coupons

If there’s nothing on this earthly list that can make her forgive you, then there’s only one thing that’ll save your relationship: your eternal servitude. Create a set of coupons that’ll grant her one favor—no matter how flashy—per use. Whether it’s going shopping with her all day or, you know, going down on her... foot for as long as you humanly can. That’s a foot massage, perv. Free!

07

08

If you’ve ever been accused of not being “in this together,” this is the perfect present to prove her wrong. Show her that you’re not just willing to go the extra mile, but that you’re actually prepared to put it on paper, so to speak. P2,195, Quirks

You might not know what your girl sees in Gregory Peck, or ugh, Ryan Gosling, but if you really want to atone for your sins, surprise her with a box set of chick flicks. This Audrey Hepburn collection should be relatively easier to watch. Offer to watch it all with her—no complaints. P600, AstroVision

Our li fe s t or y joint d i a r y


Jewelry Did you forget your anniversary? Apologize with jewelry. You can’t really buy love—but with this rhodium and gold-plated pendant, with pink crystal pavés, you can try. Score for: P13,500 (Cupid pendant), Swarovski

C h ic k f li c k s



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www.fhm.com.ph

HOLLYWOOD your

SEX LIFE

We settle in for a weekend of steamy flicks to find out how to get it on, movie-style WORDS: JOEL GOLBY, FHM PHILIPPINES

ILLUSTRATIONS: MELVIN CALINGO

1 BUY A RUG A ND BUI L D A F IR E PL AC E*

As seen in: The Dark Knight Rises, Endless Love, City of Angels, Body of Evidence They say men get turned on in a very primeval way: based on what they see, hear, or just got sent on Snapchat. Whereas women are more complex machines made up of a thousand whirring engines that all delicately need turning on at once. That’s bullshit. Lie on a white bearskin rug in front of a log fire (best done in Baguio)* and you just bought yourself the express ticket to Fuck City. Population: You, her, and a dead bear.

2

ALWAYS HAV E A PER F ECT LY I R O N ED PO LO SHIRT LY IN G A R O UN D

As seen in: Fifty Shades of Grey, Friends with Benefits. “All my shirts are in the wash, love. How did you get a perfectly fitted—and ironed—shirt at such short notice? Was that hanging up in my wardrobe? Can you put it back? You’re going to put dents in it.” Said no leading man, ever.

3

STOCK U P ON TH E S E UNDIES

HA N G A M I R R O R O N T HE WA L L O R CEI L I N G

As seen in: American Psycho, Basic Instinct As everyone in Hollywood knows, the only way to truly achieve a dark, sexy, intense orgasm is by mounting a mirror on the wall and admiring yourself in it. Or the ceiling—you can mount one on the ceiling, sure. Or in two corner walls, creating an infinite mirror arrangement. Or mirrors in every wall, and the ceiling, and the floor, until you are not able to achieve anything even close to an erection because you can see your balat sa pwet from a hundred reflected angles. To recreate this at home: just open the mirrored wardrobe and admire yourself in that.

Tighty whities Mike Myers, Wayne’s World

White boxers George Clooney, Out of Sight

Banana hammock Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike



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4 DRAW A MAP OF HER BEDROOM

As seen in: The Last Boy Scout, Nice Dreams, Twins If you don’t know at least six hiding places in your girlfriend’s bedroom—under the bed, behind a curtain, in a closet, clinging to the ceiling like Spiderman—then don’t be surprised when the guy she’s really with shows up and kicks you (and your balls) out of his house with no clothes on. You need to be drawing maps from day one, dude. Check if you can fit under the bed. Know how much human weight her wardrobe can take before toppling over. Think of it like this: You are an army major, and her bedroom is the battlefield. Know where the trenches are.


O N LY- I N H O L LY W O O D MOVES

5 K E E P YOUR KI TCH EN MESSY

As seen in: 54, Fatal Attraction, Color of Night The greatest aphrodisiac aren’t oysters, or money, or avocados. No—it’s sweeping a load of pans and plates on the floor as you mount a kitchen work surface for a quickie. If Hollywood has taught us anything, it’s that leaving last night’s pasta pan out to soak can be oddly arousing.

6 IN S TAL L A IR CON UNDE R YO UR KUCHON

(O T H E RW I S E K N OW N A S A DU V ET )

7 As seen in: The Notebook, Spider-Man, Match Point Sprint through a cul-de-sac in the rain waving a boom box around. Pull a dispassionate basangbasa sa ulan tongue session with your woman. Sex without rain, according to films, is like toast without butter: dry, unpalatable, and doesn’t make a mess of the floor. Don’t do sex unless there’s a chance that lightning might hit you midway through.

As seen in: Not a lot of Hollywood movies— at least not visibly if you’re going to be discovered having sex. It’s most likely you’ll be caught right in the oral stage, with your head under the covers and your fingers otherwise engaged. But thanks to air conditioning, when you emerge from your sex cocoon you won’t be red in the face. You’ll look just like you got out of a nicely chilled make-up trailer. 36 FH M DECEMBER 2015

8

THROW AWAY YO U R PAYONG



UN PLUG YO UR PHO N E

As seen in: What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Tomorrow Never Dies Hollywood rule #361: someone is always going to phone you, right when you’re doing it, and for whatever reason you are going to answer, and it’s always either bad news, your mom, or both. Put your phone on airplane mode for the duration of your sexy time—because hearing your mom tell you about how you need to visit your tita and your lola more is a real boner-killer.

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DO NOTHING AFTER SEX Welcome to Hollywood, where no women have to immediately pee after sex, and nobody has to tie a tight knot in a soggy condom. Nobody has to move the bed, or clean up the sheets. STOCK UP ON MOISTURERESISTANT SHEETS Just once, we’d like to see a scene where two actors post-coitally contort themselves around the massive, wet patch in the middle of the bed before Chris Hemsworth, or whoever, is forced to tiptoe through the dark to fetch a towel to lay down on that dugyot spot in the mattress. Just once. CANCEL THE GYM MEMBERSHIP, BECAUSE ANYONE CAN LIFT A WOMAN The only exercise you need to do to hone a Hollywood body is to constantly pick up a willing partner— ideally while she’s wearing white cotton underwear— and kissing her against a wall. No sit-ups, no chinups. Just lift up women repeatedly. Use your legs not your back. This is literally all Ryan Reynolds does to stay in shape.

www.fhm.com.ph

LOUNGE

MODEL: KELLY BERNAL PhOtOgraPhy: JAY TABLANTE StyLINg: JET BEBAS MaKE UP: HANNAH KIM MODEL aPPEarS FOr ILLUStratION PUrPOSE ONLy

, LADIES CONFESSIONS Men helping women help themselves

Cyber lovin’

My boyfriend and I don’t see each other as often as we like, so sometimes we send each other naughty pictures to keep each other company through lonely moments. I would call him up while he was masturbating to the pictures I sent him. He would moan, “Miss na kita at yung malaki mong mga boobs.” He liked it when I sent him pictures where I’m on my knees, begging for him to fuck me. 38 Fh M DECEMBER 2015

We got webcams. My heart would pound uncontrollably as I watched him vigorously stroke his cock. We would both pleasure ourselves in front of our cameras, and some sessions even lasted nine hours—including the talking and cuddling of course! I can’t wait to do him when we see each other again! Maria Lee via Bullboard

Close curtain call

My BF and I were invited to facebook.com/FHM.ph •

ALwAyS hErE tO LIStEN, LADIES! Keep sending your escapades to fhmladiesconfessions @gmail.com or Facebook.com/fhm.ph


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attend a friend's wedding in Bontoc, Mt. Province. We decided beforehand that we would stay at a hotel so that we could have the room to ourselves. We checked-in a hotel and were given a room at its extension building located behind the main building. The first thing I did was hit the showers. When I stepped out, my boyfriend had pulled the curtains open. I looked at the window and saw no one so I didn’t mind having www.fhm.com.ph

LOUNGE CONFESSIONS

‘I would call him up while he was masturbating to pictures I sent him. he would moan, “Miss na kita at yung malaki mong boobs.”’ the curtains open. While I was drying myself, my boyfriend started touching me. He unzipped his pants and whipped out his thing. I knelt and took him in my mouth. While I was giving him a blowjob someone knocked. I stopped and jumped on the bed and covered myself with the blanket. BF fixed his pants and opened the door. It was a staff bringing an extra towel, he took it and closed the door. . I threw the pillow at my BF who was laughing. My BF pulled the blanket off of me and he started undressing. He stood near the window again. approached him and continued my blowjob. After a while he pulled me up and had me face the window. He positioned himself behind me. I kept looking at the buildings across the road making sure no one was watching.We went over to the bed and I got on top of him. I was still facing the window as I moved on top of him. Just when we were getting into it, I suddenly saw someone walking outside. I rushed to close the window and we laughed. We continued and with the curtains closed. Simple_Fantasy, via Bullboard

Morning ‘til night

I woke up with my boyfriend's cock poking my pussy from behind. He loves tease-spooning me that way. We ended up having a quickie. After getting some rest and showering we went out for dinner. It was late when we got back to the 40 Fh M DECEMBER 2015

house so went skinny-dipping. We after all, had the house to ourselves. Halfway through skinnydipping. We felt cold and decided some liquor would help keep us warm. Things got out of hand quickly with the alcohol. All I can remember was making out with him while we were completely naked and some portions of sexy time: I sucked his cock as he refilled my drink for me. He handed it to me and started guiding me out of the pool. I didn't want to spoil the night so as he sat on the edge of the pool and sat on top of him. He continued playing with my tits as I poured him another drink. I stood up and went near the chaser we left at the opposite side of the pool and he followed me. I purposely bent down to get the shotglass and I remember his hand gripping my hips and while his other hand positioned his cock inside my pussy. He fucked me doggie style in the open. I remember getting so damn daring and feeling so good as his cock slammed on my pussy. I can't remember anything after that. But around dawn I woke up in bed, naked and his hands were touching my tits. I kissed him in the dark and his hands trailed down to my pussy. I didn't know how I got to the room. Although, he said things got even crazier that night. LittleMissMistress, via Bullboard



MEANwhILE, IN LADy PArtS I.Q.

Detoxifying chest massage

Lymph nodes, or pockets of oval shaped organs responsible for flushing toxins and maintaining healthy immune systems are found in various areas in her breasts. Massage towards the heart to stimulate lymph drainage and pump up the immune system.

fhmphilofficial

www.fhm.com.ph

ACCESS 01

F I LM

Let’s take a trip down a galaxy far, far away…

DECEMBER 2015 YO U R M O N T H LY VI P PASS

I

A young Jedi Padawan Obi-wan Kenobi trains and studies under Jedi Master Qui-Gon, eager to prove his worth and mettle. we meet Anakin Skywalker as a boy, showing a lot of affinity with the Force. at a young age, he shows his skills in piloting, engineering, and creating C-3PO. Mysterious and menacing, Darth Maul is one of only two siths in the universe. he ends up killing Qui-gon, before being struck down by obi-wan. when the movie ends, we don’t know if obiwan is the master or the apprentice.

TIck one oFF your chrIsTMas wIsh LIsT as you FInaLLy see The LongawaITed screenIng oF sTar wars: The Force awakens . For Fans-To-be, here’s puTTIng In conTexT The geekdoM you’re abouT To wITness

don’t pay attention to Jar-Jar or the midichlorians, you'll just have a headache.

Padme Amidala is a senator in the galactic republic. she and anakin met her 10 years ago, and an initial attraction blossomed into a love affair.

Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Republic, is rescued by Obi-Wan and Anakin. Anakin beheads Count Dooku.

words: nonI oduLIo ILLusTraTIon: edward MIchaeL aTIenza

Count Dooku is a fallen Jedi. he is the apprentice of the sith Master, Darth Sidious, and leads the separatist forces in their civil war against the republic.

The civil war revealed chancellor palpatine to be the sith Master darth sidious. he orders the massacre of the Jedi by the clone troopers.

we see members of the Jedi council, led by Yoda and Mace Windu, who take command of an army of clone troopers against the forces of the separatists.

anakin becomes paranoid for pregnant padme's life, and pledges allegiance to the dark side in exchange for her life. he is named Darth Vader.

II Obi-Wan has taken Anakin under his wing, and is now a Jedi Master.

III

obi-wan duels against Vader, cutting his limbs off and leaving him to die on a lava-filled shore. Vader uses his hatred and anger to keep

himself alive, until sidious— fresh from his own duel with yoda—rescues the remains of his body. sidious grafts cybernetic components to Vader's body, making him more machine than man, and twisted and evil. padme gives birth to twins— one boy and one girl—but dies afterwards. yoda and obi-wan go into exile to hide from the forces of the empire.

Now we’re here

IV In Episode IV, we find that there is still hope in the galaxy. R2-D2, c-3po's counterpart droid throughout the entire saga, completes his mission to deliver the plans of the Death Star—the empire's secret weapon - to obi-wan. obi-wan finds and begins to train Luke Skywalker in the ways of the Jedi. Luke is a quick study, even though he’s a naive boy who grew up in the boondocks of Tatooine.

Han Solo and Chewbacca are reluctant heroes of the Rebellion against the empire. They help Luke rescue Princess Leia from the death star and they all manage to escape after obi-wan is killed by darth Vader. Luke joins the rebel attack against the empire and manages to destroy the death star just before it blows up the rebel base.

VII For many fans, the big question leading up to The Force awakens is “where the heck is Luke skywalker?” here are the best theories we’ve heard so far: 1 chewbacca died offscreen and Luke is hiding in the big wookie's skin all along, because he couldn’t bear to see han sad 2 he’s actually kylo ren and adam driver is nothing more than an elaborate ruse P L AU S I B L E Luke isn’t in the promo material since he’ll only be showing up at the end–making any trailer appearance a sure spoiler

han, Leia, and chewie destroy the protective shield of the death star, allowing Lando to lead a squadron of starfighters into the superstructure and blow up the main reactor.

V The Empire hunts down the Rebels on the ice planet of Hoth. while on hoth, Luke receives a message from the spirit of obi-wan, telling him to go to dagobah to continue his Jedi training under yoda. han solo, princess Leia, chewie, and c-3po seek refuge in the cloud city of bespin. This turns out to be a bad idea as han is captured and frozen in carbonite, but

VI not before Leia confesses her love for han.

Episode VI concludes the narrative.

Luke rushes to bespin to save his friends, but falls into a trap lain by darth Vader. Luke and Vader duel, and Vader cuts off Luke’s hand. Vader reveals that he is Luke's father.

after helping Luke rescue han solo from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt, Leia, chewie, Lando, and the droids meet up with the rest of the rebel fleet to make their final attack against the empire.

Luke escapes bespin with the help of Leia, chewie, and Lando calrissian.

Luke goes to yoda first and confirms that Vader is indeed his father. obi-wan tells Luke that he and Leia are twins, and that they are both the last chance for the emperor to be defeated.

darth Vader and Luke duel inside the emperor’s throne room in the death star. Luke, who is now a Jedi Knight, gets the upper hand but refuses to kill his father and turn to the dark side of the Force. The emperor attacks Luke, but Vader redeems himself and throws the emperor to his death. Luke escapes the death star with his father and he gives Anakin Skywalker a Jedi’s burial. anakin, yoda, and obi-wan kenobi's spirits join the heroes of the rebellion celebrate their victory against the empire.

AC C ESS

02 M uS iC

The Good ol’ Folks we SaT dOwn wiTh RazORBaCK aFTeR They ThRew a SOLid COnCeRT TO CeLeBRaTe a quaRTeR OF a CenTuRy in The pinOy ROCK SCene. ThiS iS whaT KeepS TheM Keepin’ On…

INTERVIEW: MAX MAHINAY PHOTOGRAPHY: PAUL MONDOK


When you guys started out, did you really set your minds to take it this far? Tirso [Ripoll, guitar]: I think the general rule is, when it stops becoming fun, then it’s time to call it a day. Louie [Talan, bass]: That’s the golden rule. We’re still actively trying to improve, actively trying to write better things, and we’re having fun while doing it, and that’s all the reason you need to keep on keepin’ on. Brian [Velasco, drums]: There’s still a lot of ideas coming out, di pa kami sayad, kaya pa. Twenty five years is a long time to keep it fun. How do you stick to the Razorback sound? Louie: I think our choice of covers determined the DNA of our material. Back then I was listening to a lot of The Jesus and Mary Chain, Cocteau Twins; Miguel [Ortigas, the original drummer] was heavily into classic rock and same with Tirso. It’s really getting to a common

ground, and that becomes the sound. But it takes time because everyone has to get comfortable with it. Manuel [Legarda, guitar]: It’s not really a compromise—it’s highlighting your common influences and making everything fit. Kevin [Roy, singer]: Back then, when I wrote music for Razorback I shut my fuckin’ ears from whatever other musical sources that might influence me. I wanted to keep us pure and true. I blocked myself off from everything else except for what they were feeding me. Production-wise and taste-wise, what’s changed? Tirso: Before, we needed to pay, like, a thousand bucks an hour to record in a fuckin’ studio. When you go in, you better get your shit right quickly, you don’t have time to fuck around. Now, putang ina I can set up my own studio at home, get whacked out, and spend up to eight hours just “finding the right tone.” I can do that and enjoy in the process. The



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downside is that decisions have to be made; now it’s like you’re never finished. Manuel: You have, like, 15 seconds of brilliance, and then you want to redo everything. Let's say Razorback has a free hand in changing things in the local music scene, what would you change? Louie: Musicians have to be paid better. Artists in general. Kevin: On that thread, I just want to share that, at present, certain artists in the [music] scene have psychological conditions, which is not covered by HMO, and I find this discriminating. I’m speaking for myself here and not the band. I find this discriminating that, let’s say I walk into an emergency room and I have, like, a freakin’ anxiety attack or something, and they'll diagnose it as a panic attack and they’ll go, “We’re gonna give you a valium, or we’re gonna give you something, but you know what, that shit’s not covered by your HMO because www.fhm.com.ph

03 BO OK S

Books for brutes I think the general rule is, when it stops becoming fun, then it’s time to call it a day

FOR The TiMeS we FeLL ShORT OF SaTiSFying yOuR ViSuaL needS in ThiS Rag, heRe aRe TwO phOTOBOOKS TO MORe Than MaKe up FOR iT

Andrea Road Trip

it’s a psychological thing.” What the fuck is that? How are you gonna take care of your artists if you can’t even take care of their minds, which is the source of their writing? That’s what creates the great artists—the imbalance, the spontaneity… and not conformity. Have you ever considered retirement? Kevin: No. There’s a need, pare. Pangangailangan 'to eh . Louie: I’ll guarantee you, we will still be playing—one form or another—in the next five years. Safe to say you’ll be interviewing us again. Kevin: We’re doing what we can right now because that’s all we can really count on, it’s just today. Tomorrow is such a fuckin’ variable. Right now, would the band rather have a steady gig in a club somewhere or touring an entire country? Manuel: I’d rather go on the road. I don’t wanna be in the same place every www.fhm.com.ph

Friday or Saturday, we’ve done that in the early days. It can get pretty tiring, not physically, it just gets stale after a while. Going into the 25th Anniversary gig, what plans do you have for the band afterwards? Louie: Well, we’re releasing eight new recordings for some shows with Red Horse. We’re going on tour. It’s very much business as usual for the band. To wrap this up properly, we’d like to know, who you would like to see top FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women? Tirso: Jinri Park. But I wish she had tattoos, and in cosplay…as Jamie from Voltes V! Manuel: Still Marian Rivera. Brian: I’m a Solenn fan, so there you go. Louie: Mrs. Rodriguez from high school, ha ha! Kevin: The whole of General Luna.



Ozawa

Photography by Wesley Villarica This photobook sees former AV Idol Maria Ozawa in four different episodes, depicting different characters each. Clue: it features big things in Japan (i.e. animé, gravure, and BDSM!). fhmphilofficial

WORDS: PONG CASTILLO

Photography by Jay Tablante It would be a lie to say that you’ve never daydreamed about a girl as sultry as Andrea Torres, especially in times you see her bust a move on TV or flaunt her assets on print. If the dream involved taking her away somewhere only you know, this photobook could be the thing closest to making it real.


AC C ESS

04 TE LEVI S ION

Cartel Coalition

BrEakINg Bad’S WaLTEr WhITE IS STILL TV’S BaddEST BadaSS uNTIL PaBLO EScOBar PrOVES OThErWISE IN NarcOS . WE PIT ThE TWO agaINST Each OThEr, aNd WE Say, rEaLITy WINS OVEr fIcTION

AKA El Patron (The Boss), among others

P L OT TRUE STORY

P L OT FICTION

Pablo Esobar (Netflix’s Narcos)

Walter White (AMC’s Breaking Bad)

H O M ETOWN Albuquerque, New Mexico

AKA Heisenberg

NET W O RTH

NET W O RT H

$80

$30

billion

billion

INFLUENCE While White’s drug empire certainly grew from its humble rV-manufactured operations, it pales in comparison to Escobar’s global scale.

INFLUENCE controlled 80 percent of the global cocaine market

S I D E KI C K John Jairo Velasquez, aka “Popeye”, started working for Escobar when he was 18 and went on to become his most trusted hitman.

S I D E KI C K Jesse Pinkman, White’s former student, became his partner after being estranged from his parents in his early twenties.

WORDS: CHIARA CUI

H O M E TO W N Medellin, Colombia

AC C ESS Plug-ins: pain in the neck

06 F I LM F E ST!

The FHM holiday marquee MAkE LInInG uP AT ThE cInEMAS ThIS SEASOn wOrTh IT wITh ThESE FLIck PIckS My Bebe Love Starring Vic Sotto, Ai Ai delas Alas, Maine Mendoza, and Alden Richards Any hope of Vice Ganda stealing the Box Office King and Queen titles just fizzled out when the phenom ‘Kalyeserye’ pair AlDub was brought in. Let’s just hope this doesn’t end up like the last two Bossing masterpieces.

05 GAM E S

Honor Thy Father Starring John Lloyd Cruz Having the creators of the critically acclaimed On The Job at the helm and no less than Lloydie at the forefront ensures quality output.

comsat torunament level

Our chEckLIST OF whAT wEnT dOwn AT ESGS 2015

Nilalang (The Entity) Starring Cesar Montano and Maria Ozawa Will Miyabi’s drawing power translate to ticket sales? Montano knows he’s not the reason most people (*cough* dudes) will be flocking to movie houses.

Exclusive play testing of unreleased games? We got to play COD: Black Ops III in a full 6-on6 with fellow event attendees, as well as an exclusive taste of NBA2K Online– a free-to-play PC version of the console favorite!

48 FH M DEC EMBER 2015

Industry opportunities for the serious gamer? In an important development for the local scene, super publisher Ubisoft accepted resumes for their Asian offices– and perhaps a local one in the future–at ESGS. The active Indie Arena was also good to see.

Swag? Sponsors, such as MSI, eagerly showered the crowd with things to take home, our only suggestion is they get some of those NBA shirt cannons (for us out back).

Eye candy? Aside from pro competition— notably Mineski’s Pro Gaming League matches with female DOTA teams, which proved girls can kick gaming ass– we have the requisite cosplay and booth babes, and a whole lot of well-designed games.



Pila? Just like any other big event, we did have to do a bit of lining up, especially for the game trials– but we take that as a good sign!

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WORDS: ASH MAHINAY; PHOTOS COURTESY OF ESGS

Last October 24-25, the E-Sports and Gaming Summit– or ESGS–was held at SMX. It’s probably the biggest gathering of gamers that an average dude can be part of, outside of slumming it inside a computer shop. Does it have all the requisite convention things though? We grade it on our checklist!

#WalangForever Starring Jennylyn Mercado and Jericho Rosales The country’s finest tries to duplicate last year’s success. Even though the ultimate hugot love team didn’t pan out (That Thing Called Tadhana’s JM de Guzman being replaced by Jericho), still, expect a lot of bitter lines for sharing. SCRAP TH ESE Buy now, die Later haunted Mansion Pamilyang Love, Love, Love Beauty and the Bestie

WORDS: PAU AGUILERA

Gamers out and about

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Indulge yourself to an amazing treat this Christmas!

all-you-can-read UNLIMITED access to your favorite magazines. Download the Ookbee Buffet app and start your FREE trial subscription now. Enjoy

KIM

WE ARE

CAPTIVATED

p h o t o gr aph y i n t e r vi ew

st y l i n g m a k e u p h a i r

RIA REGINO OF FAT CAT STUDIO

CHISE ALCANTARA

BADJ GENATO JANINA DIZON

JULIUS VILLANUEVA

KIM DOMINGO I n a tim e w h e n b e in g relev ant m e a n s c a tc h in g vie w e r s’ a t t ent ion in th e sp a n o f a f e w s e c o nds, we f o u n d Ki m D o m i n g o , who will m a k e y o u d r o p e ve r y thing just to sp e n d a f e w m o r e moment s ge t tin g lo s t in her ey es

I n a R ay m u n d o

KIM DOMINGO

The world Is consTanTly changIng, now probably more rapIdly Than ever. The InTerneT has gIven bIrTh To ThIngs lIke memes, vInes, selfIes, and oTher ways for people who have Too much TIme on TheIr hands To express Themselves In TheIr own lITTle ‘specIal’ kInd of way, whIch Include buT are noT lImITed To: That annoying classmate of yours who always wears too much makeup doing stupid hand signs in front of her webcam to the tune of the “Gwiyomi Song”; that neighbor of yours who is way too young to be wearing provocative short shorts while dancing to the beat of Psy’s “Gentleman;” and that KSP hipon who wears a tight white tank top while doing the Ice Bucket Challenge without really understanding what it’s for and what ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) is. The list of try-hards who want their 15 seconds of fame could go on and on, with their pitiful creations collecting dust somewhere in the deep underbelly of the Internet, where these things go to die. The Internet never forgets, but it is a graveyard for these things we’ve forgotten, or rather, the things we choose to forget, the things we deem irrelevant to our lives. This is what makes 20-year-old viral video star’s story exceptional. A girl who honestly didn’t know what she was doing at first. She posted a video online of her lip-syncing a pop song. A few “likes” here and a few “shares” there, and then suddenly, over a million people have watched this beautiful girl act cute in front of her smartphone camera. Something so simple had people spending precious seconds of their lives on this. Why? Because we were captivated. For a few seconds, Kim Domingo made our heart beat a not-so-monotonous rhythm. Is it her lips and the way she pouts? Is it the way she looks at us, like we’re nothing and everything to her? Or is it everything about her? We just can’t decide; so here she is on our pages so we can take a closer look as she shows us what it means to be sensational. You’ve come a long way from making netizens fall in love with you through your cute videos on YouTube. What are you hoping to accomplish by posing for our magazine? I really want to try out what I can accomplish in show business. It seems like a really exciting scene to get into. It’s been my dream ever since I was young and I really hope my cover can get me into the spotlight.

For the record, we’ve invited you to a photo shoot before, but not for the cover. This time we were willing to bet on you as covergirl material. This is a really great opportunity for me and I couldn’t just let it pass. So when you guys asked me to be on the cover, I just went with it, ha ha! But does being on the cover of FHM mean you’ve graduated from making Dubsmash videos? Oh no, not at all! I still enjoy making videos when I’m not too busy. And if my fans still enjoy watching them, then push lang! Go lang nang go! Ha ha! What about show business do you like? Gusto ko lang talaga siya. Gusto ko kasi yung nag-e-emote-emote. Gusto ko lang talaga maging artista, bakit ba?! Ha ha! Ha ha, okay! We’re not trying to stop you! We would love to watch you on the big screen. Does your love for acting have anything to do with why you like making videos so much? Yeah, that probably has something to do with it, ha ha! It’s just really, really fun, and a lot of people seem to enjoy watching the videos I post. We could guess why. Though we all know the Internet can be a harsh place, especially for personalities. Has dealing with the negative comments affected you? Actually before...well, even up to now, pinapatulan ko yung mga comments na nakakabastos. Minsan kailangan mo talaga silang pagsabihan kasi hindi sila titigil. Though I’ve learned that you can’t really please everyone. So when I know I’m talking to someone who doesn’t really want to listen, I’ll either just ignore them or block their account from visiting my page so I won’t have to deal with their negativity. But some of your fans do give you good advice once in a while, don’t they? I think the best advice they have given me is to always follow my dreams. Lagi nilang sinasabing, ‘Push mo ‘yan! Kung saan ka masaya, sususportahan ka namin.’ Nakaka-touch talaga kapag nakakabasa ako ng mga ganung comments sa Facebook page ko. Feeling ko talaga nakakapagpasaya ako ng mga tao, at natutuwa ako roon.

So you really read through the comments on your Facebook page? As much as possible, I really do. While I do have admins for my fan pages, I am always the one who replies to my fans on my personal account. Hindi ko talaga yun pinapahawak kahit kanino. Kaya lang lately mas nahihirapan akong mag-reply dahil dumadami na nga sila. Mahirap talagang magbasa ng mga messages minsan dahil natatambakan sila. Has a fan ever creeped you out? Ha ha! Ayoko nang magsalita, but there was this one time—in person pa ‘to!—there was this guy who was really excited to see me. He started telling me all these stories, and stuff, and let’s just say I got pretty dizzy. Why “dizzy?” I mean he was right next to me, and his breath…ha ha! I couldn’t just tell him off because I didn’t want him to feel bad, so I just kept nodding and tried to hold my breath for as long as I could, ha ha! Oh my, I hope he doesn’t read this and figure out it was him. Sinabi ko pa naman sa kanyang bigla akong nahilo, and just excused myself.

We’re sure he’ll understand. When you started posting videos on the Internet, did you think they would go viral? Actually, hindi. Gumaya lang ako sa mga friends kong nag-po-post ng sarili nilang mga videos. Marami kasi akong nakikita sa newsfeed ko. I really didn’t expect it to become viral since Dubsmash was just beginning to gain popularity at that time. Hindi nga yung mismong Dubsmash app yung ginamit ko noon! I just used my cellphone to take the video with the song “Twerk it Like Miley” playing in the background. I guess it was also luck and right timing.

What do you think got people to notice your video among the others? Well, besides, your obvious good looks. Nagulat talaga ako dahil ang dami nang ibang mga magagandang girls na gumawa noon, kaya hindi ko talaga ineexpect na mapapansin pa yung akin. Usually, yung sumisikat na videos na ganun, eh from celebrities lang. I never expected mine to go viral kasi sino ba ako? Ha ha! Siguro nakuha ko lang talaga yung mga tao sa padila-dila at pakagat-kagat-labi ko, ha ha!

KIM DOMINGO




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KIM DOMINGO

You seemed like a pro doing it, though! Do you use those moves when you want to turn a guy on? Uhm, ha ha! May naaalala naman akong mga eksenang ganon, ha ha! Aminin mo, na ano rin naman kayo ah! Na ano? Ah basta! Alam niyo na yun, ha ha! Kaloka! Nakakahiya naman ‘to! We can neither confirm nor deny said statement. But if you were to seduce a guy, what song would you Dubsmash to steal his heart? Ahem, siguro yung “O Lumapit Ka” [by Ella del Rosario], the one that goes, *sings* “O, lumapit ka… kung gusto mo akong halikan…ba’t kita sasawayin? Alam na alam mo namang, ito’y gusto ko rin…” ha ha! Ahem, we’re not sure any guy could resist that. So would you like to follow the footsteps of other


Dubsmashers and have your own serye or something? Oh, that would be interesting! Though it would be scary to compete with the other more popular tandems right now, I would still love to have my very own movie and/or teleserye. I would really want to act in one. What sort of movie would you like to act in? Rom-coms maybe? Gusto ko talagang mag-horror, ha ha! Mahilig kasi talaga akong manood ng mga ganun at feeling ko magaling naman akong tumili! Would you be the victim or the one who scares all the people? Hmm, pwede naman sigurong both, ha ha! Whenever I watch horror films, I would picture myself in the scene, and imagine I was with the characters screaming and running around. Those parts seem like so much fun to act out.



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We’re sure that’ll be a hit. Do you have any advice for people who want to be Internet sensations like yourself? Ang masasabi ko lang, kung gusto mong maging popular, just be humble. Learn to entertain and care for the people who follow you. I’m not saying you should entertain every single request they make, but try to make them feel like you actually care for them. Sakin hangga’t kaya ko, I make it a priority to make them feel that I really listen to them. I don’t want them to say, “Ang suplada naman ni Kim Domingo...katulad lang siya ng iba, nakakalimot porke’t sumisikat na.” Gusto kong maramdaman nilang malaki talaga ang pagpapasalamat ko sa kanila dahil kung wala sila, wala rin naman ako rito. FHM

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KIM DOMINGO

Why she seems familiar...

Her viral “Twerk it Like Miley” kagat-labi video on her Facebook account.

She danced and flaunted her assets on Wil Time Big Time’s stage!

You see her with other beautiful models at car shows.




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KIM DOMINGO

KIM DOMINGO

KIM DOMINGO

KIM DOMINGO

fat

*h opefully without healt h prob le m s

A fes ti v e spre Ad to c A r ry you A ll th e wAy into th e new ye Ar*

feasts Wo rds Ash MAhinA y

P ho to graPhy JonAthAn BAldonA do

Fo o d s tyl i ng and PreP arati o n victoriA yuJuico-Keet & MAx GAn A

I. WISH I N G Y O U AM E R I- CHRISTM AS

Do you have balikbayans from the USA around the table this season? Make them feel at home… at home—by laying out the trifecta of the American holiday spread:

1 TURKEY Belle Foods By order 0918-9098850

P4,000 for 4kg

This is a fourkilogram bird, which isn’t even a big one because you can have turkeys all the way to nine kilos, and after we sliced off an entire family-sized chicken portion off it still looked like we had enough pabo for days. Aside from massive amounts of meat, Chef Bobby Abes of Belle Foods explains: “It’s a healthier choice, because it has lesser fat content. Then when you try it, you know the taste is really different—the taste can be more bland, but it goes well with sauces—like the gravy [which comes from its drippings] and cranberry. It’s not meant to be eaten alone.” But really guys, the excitement factor of having a big bird on the table is not to be underestimated.

CANDY BACON

Di Sc lAiMer: This will give you bacon as stiff as candy canes. Though you will probably be hanging on to one like a candy cane after you’ve tried it



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Melt together a half cup brown sugar, two tablespoons each of maple syrup and vinegar, and a pinch of black pepper.

Heat the oven to 350F, lay the lovely bacon on a cooling rack on top of a baking tray lined with parchment paper. if you’re lazy, it’s actually fine to skip all the props–but have fun scraping off all the detritus from your oven when you’re done.

crisp the bacon for 15 minutes, then start brushing the strips with the glaze. Brush, stick back into the oven for 4 minutes, alternatebrush then oven some more until you are satisfied with the damage levels to your health.


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fat feasts IngredIenTS (good for eight servings) 3 cups whole milk 1 cup double or heavy cream 2 dashes vanilla essence 1 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg (real nutmeg will suffice) 5 eggs, whites, and yolks separated 2/3 cup white sugar 1 cup dark rum or bourbon

3 EGGNOG

You might have heard about this drink, but most likely have not experienced it until now–because we’re telling you it’s not that hard to make. What does it taste like? Christmas, basically. But if you want to be specific, it tastes like drinking a cookie with the delightful spike of rum following it down your throat.

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Procedure 1 combine milk, cream, cinnamon, vanilla, and nutmeg in a saucepan. over medium heat, bring to a boil. once boiling, remove from heat and let mixture steep. 2 using a stand mixer or a large bowl–probably a large bowl because we are men with no kitchen appliances–beat yolks and sugar until combined. Thick ribbons should form when the whisk is lifted. Slowly whisk in the milk mixture until fully combined. Add alcohol and stir in. 3 Beat egg whites in a stand mixer or another large bowl to soft peaks. gently fold into eggnog until fully combined. garnish with nutmeg and cinnamon sticks!

STEAK

Eighty percent of the secret to a good steak is spending on the raw meat. Try to get cuts with marbling–the streaks of fat running through the muscle; fat is your friend in this case. Now follow these tips: Thaw it overnight in the ref. The usual fast way of leaving it out in the few hours right before cooking is also a highly efficient way of draining it of juices and flavor.

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APPLE PIE Catherine’s Cakes and Pies 45 Picadilly St. Alabang, Muntinlupa, 275-2615, Chito Benito

P420-840 depending on diameter

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If your teeth are basically falling off from seasonal sugar intake, why not try mixing things up with a nice warm apple pie? An apple pie’s appeal lies in the many contrasts. Catherine’s Chito Benito explains: “When you bite into an apple pie, you will experience a contrast in tastes: sweet, tart, and salty; and texture: soft apples versus the crispy crust and walnuts. Lastly, if you take our pie a la mode, you’ll experience a contrast in temperature.” That last bit is notable because any dessert that lets you cheat by piling ice cream–a dessert in itself–on it, is the real MVP.



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Salt and pepper it at least 45 minutes before cooking; use a lot of salt and pepper—the season is about generosity.

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Preheat your lightly oiled pan until the oil begins to ripple or smoke slightly, then sear the beef for one and a half to two minutes per side–touching it only once for the big flip. This makes sure it sears evenly.

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Well done is not how real men eat steak, so learn to eat some pink bro.


I I . YULET I DE USUALS

You can’t miss these Pinoy favorites. There are a lot of options, so here are a few that try to play it a bit differently

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PAELLA

Ilustrado, 527-3674/0922-8234981–83, 5440 General Luna St., Intramuros, Manila

P850 One insanely time-consuming but festive dish is paella, then you also face the dilemma between seafood and meat to top it with. Ilustrado’s Paella Ilustrado solves all your problems by doing all the kitchenwork for a paella with both surf and turf in it. Ilustrado’s Chef de Cuisine, Bernice Pimentel, describes it (and their other dishes) as, “Very reminiscent of our lola’s cooking at home; of comfort food but to the next level–no shortcuts whatsoever. We take the time to slow-cook our ox tripe, pork belly, etc. until they are nice and tender and cook them for a few more hours with the sauces that we make from scratch.” It can also be used to one-up your neighbors’ preparations because you can boast that it actually comes from a place in Intramuros.

7LECHON

Jun & Jun’s Cebu Lechon, 706-2602/400-3749, Tiendesitas Unit KO4 and Commonwealth Avenue

P4,200-13,500 depending on size We can’t skip lechon, because your party is instantly 50 percent less fun (and possibly 50 percent less heartattack inducing) if a bright red pig isn’t sitting on top of the table. In fact, the roast pig’s very seasonal hue is one thing that Jun & Jun’s Nikki Quilicot takes extra pride in. “What makes us different from other Cebu lechons is our skin. They [Cebuano lechoneros] don’t really care how the skin would look, but Tagalogs give premium to crispy, shiny, red skin. So what we did is incorporate our roasting with the techniques of the lechoneros from Balayan, Batangas, whose lechon festivals goad them to perfecting lechon skin–thus the best of both worlds!” And we peaceful eaters at FHM are all for regionaldispute settling foods you know.




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fat feasts III. S T RU G G L E C H RI STM AS

let’s say you blew your 13th month on presents like a good guy, here are three things you can do on the cheap to salvage the festive feels in your stomach

PANCI T

EXTRA TRIMMINGS... complete your dinner scene with the following bits and bobs MiSTleToe it’s best to explain this kissing plant tradition to the ladies while you just so happen to be standing underneath it. See what we did there?

A BAcKgroUnD MoVie on looP not some sappy film, but rather manly barelychristmas suitable flicks like Die Hard or Jingle All The Way.

PAPer ToWelS This is going to get messy in more ways than one, if you don’t want to be stuck cleaning until the new year, stock up on these.

A ToAST give your party a classy beginning by calling a toast, it also makes you look really handsome and incharge when you call for one.

How to improve instant pancit canton in five easy steps: 1 Add a pack 2 Add a pack 3 Add a pack 4 Add a pack 5 Add a pack T r Ue S T orY : Despite everything else on the

menu, the presence of a massive bowl of instant pancit canton still excited the men on this shoot– quality through quantity!

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QUESO DE NACHOS

Make the tough-to-chew cheese ball more interesting by turning it into a warm goopy mess. Stuff’s easy man...

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combine your queso de bola slices with any melty processed (aka less expensive) cheese, in a 1:3 part ratio.

2 And some hot cream or milk and whisk together in a pan.

Pour it out on some chips for a nacho topping that tastes quite similar to nacho King! it’s pretty much food alchemy.

8T S O K O L A T E

Do we have to explain how this makes us all warm and fuzzy inside? It requires a smidge more effort than mixing Milo, but it’s Christmas anyway.

www.fhm.com.ph



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IL L UST R A T I O N : LOUIE ARENAS

WOR DS: CHISE ALCANTARA

QUICK FIX

Y OUR COMPLETE GUIDE TO HAVING QUICKIES IN THE MO ST IMPOSSIBLE PLACES

ELEVATOR

Push the right buttons S C E N A R I O : It’s late and you’re still in the office to fix some stuff for tomorrow when your beautiful boss shows up. You make some small talk and unspoken sexual tension between you two is starting to manifest again. She puts her hands on your shoulders and almost starts massaging you, but the CCTV camera kills the mood. Q U I C K F I X : She is about to call it quits, when you tell her that you thought of a perfect plan. You lend her a hoodie, and you wear one yourself. You get inside the elevator and face away from the camera. You push the button of the highest floor, and then you immediately bend her over and concentrate on thrusting since you guys have to finish before you reach the top.

PORTALET

This room provides a different kind of comfort You’re out on a concert with your girl. With all the body rubbing and testosterone evaporating into the air, she starts to feel a bit flushed. She asks you to come with her to somewhere quieter and intimate–never did you expect that she’d lock you up inside one of the portalets. Q U I C K F I X : If you have a cologne and/or hand sanitizer, spray some into the air. Use a position that requires the least amount of effort when thrusting. Why? One, because you don’t want to be inhaling all the germs and stench inside that cramped space; two, sudden movement could very well tip the portalet over. THE SCENARIO:

TRUNK OF A CAR Abduction foreplay, anyone?

You and your girl are doing the naughty on top of the hood of your car. Things are going so well—that is, until you notice a flashlight beam. The park security guard is quickly closing in. You don’t have enough time to change so you open up your trunk and jump in. P O S I T I O N : Making the best of a stressful yet very exhilarating scenario, you guys decide to continue your shenanigans inside the trunk. Remember to keep something lodged in-between the trunk lid; you wouldn’t want to get stuck in there, and be forced to have yourselves rescued. That story spells tabloid headline all over it. THE SCENARIO:

A

woman’s libido is about as predictable as Manila climate: when she wants it, we should be ready to please, whenever and wherever. We make the impossible possible, because that’s just how real, caring gentlemen are. You think we’re joking? Take a look at how we deconstructed the tightest of spaces to have a quickie in, with help of yoga instructor Alvin Gomez of L!fe Yoga Studio. Because with FHM, yes, you can!

VIDEOKE BAR

Giving her your microphone when it’s her time to sing

STAIRWELL

What goes up must also come down Worse comes to worst and you guys didn’t come on your elevator ride to heaven. Don’t fret you have another chance going down! Take the stairs since the security guards might be coming (in more ways than one) after viewing your session in the elevator. Q U I C K F I X : Working on your cardio and core is key to surviving this extended loving sesh. Gomez suggests the Mula Bandha, a yogalike kegel technique that focuses on controlling your core muscles and enhancing your endurance. THE SCENARIO:

BANG TRIKE

On patrol for some of that pamasahe You decide to take a part time job as an Uber Trike and you patrol the streets for any willing passengers. You pull some extra OT hours during the night and see a sexy girl wearing a miniskirt. She waves her hand at you. Right before you drop her off at her destination, she says she forgot her barya and asks if she can pay you in any other way. Q U I C K F I X : You stop at a seemingly vacant location where you can talk negotiations. You enter the passenger seat and get on top of her. You spread her legs so you can enter her missionary-style. Be careful not to tip over the tricycle, or you could add some extra suspension on your ride. SCENARIO:

You and your officemates have an after-office karaoke session. Your office crush is now tipsy and starts looking at you in a different way. She starts to make out with you while your other officemates are too preoccupied and passionate about their Charice Pempengco birits, or are just too intoxicated to care. Q U I C K F I X : If you leave the vicinity, she might lose that tama that makes you the least bit desirable so you have to makes this quick. Find a vacant KTV room nearby. Get inside and position yourself near the door, coming at her from behind doggy-style with her palms pushing up against the door. This is the best option here so you can both keep an eye out for any passersby that might catch you doing the deed. Plus, you can also push the door close if someone starts to force it open, and quickly duck out of sight. THE SCENARIO:

DARK ALLEY

You, the extra friendly neighborhood superhero You just saved a damsel-in-distress from a bunch of hoodlums. She decides to repay your kindness by kissing you while you’re hanging upside down from your web. She enjoys it a little bit too much as she removes not only your mask, exposing your true identity. Q U I C K F I X : You decide to distract her by removing not only your mask, but your entire costume as well. With your crime fighting-toned abs, you leave her in a complete ecstatic daze. You turn her around and lift one of her legs. You come at her from behind till you unload your web cartridge in her. FHM THE SCENARIO:

50,000 Followers or bust!

mIL IaL LE NN L SPE Ia C

FHm’s guide to building yourself as a #brand on social media

WO R DS Ash MAhinAy I L LU S T R AT I O N S M E LVi n C ALi n G O

LEaRN fRom THE WayS of aN INTERNET HEavy Tricia Gosingtian, Kryz Uy, Camille Co: you may have heard of them because a.) They are lovely ladies, duh; or b.) They’re the popular bloggers your girlfriend loves too. If you want to be the male equivalent of them, then follow the lead of David Guison, of DG Manila, local lifestyle man-blogger and “online influencer.” Here, he tells us all about his path to Internet domination.

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start a blog

1.1 All influencers must have an actual blog. It is the font of your power “I started my blog in July 2009. I was still in college [at the College of San Benilde] and it was a requirement for my general psychology class—then at the end of the term nagkakaroon na’ng followers. It was just a photo blog but through the years nag-shift siya into fashion and lifestyle.” 1.2 Inventing a handle vs. naming it after yourself “It’s harder if you have a certain brand [or handle such as The Sartorialist], kasi parang nalilimit yung future posts mo rather than just having your name. Kasi when I say David Guison, naka-combine na yung work [and everything personal].” 1.3 Don’t be greedy and blog about anything and everything at once “If you’re starting, just really find your niche. Bloggers nowadays really go for lifestyle blogs: so that’s fashion, travel, fitness, medyo broad. If you can, focus on one thing you’re good at—kasi people will listen–then branch out from there. I was just into photography but people would ask me to post selfies, my outfits, and dun na ako nag-shift into fashion. It was a turning point kasi wala pa masyadong male bloggers in 2010.”

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curate your Feed–vIsually & content-wIse

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If you can scroll down your posts without it looking like 10 different people posting on their own accord, you have succeeded in taming the beast. “Since I’m a lifestyle blogger, my Instagram needs to have variety. This morning I’ll post an outfit, then the next post is food or travel naman…[for looks] I want it dark and walang saturation. I follow certain formula: I only use three filters then another app to edit. Bloggers have so many ideas that it’s really hard to be consistent. I had a phase in 2011 where my vibe was colorful and vivid, but now medyo nagmature na ako and mas gusto ko dark and madrama. You can change your look, basta gradual. I’m very strict on that.”

get on Facebook, Instagram, & twItter

People aren’t going to check your blog every hour– but they’re always on social media. “I made the shift to Facebook nung pinagtrip-an ako ng friends ko at ginawan nila ako ng fan page. Nahihiya ako pero nagkaroon siya ng mga likes. I was just posting everything there and nakita ko mas may engagement kasi mas real-time siya compared with the blog. Then when I started Instagram, I knew I wanted to have something to promote my blog–siyempre, I want my readers to go there pa rin. But since you post it on Instagram parang nape-preempt siya–nakikita na nila kung ano laman ng blog. Pinag-aralan namin ng agency ko na mas malakas ang IG kesa sa blog. Now I post at least six times a day.”

TWEET-LENGTH RULES

From B.A. Borleo and Sandra Pineda, managing editors of your favorite sites, namely FHM.com.ph and Cosmo.ph, of course!

Original content is king

Respect the power of a #hashtag

Tickle your reader if you can’t offer something first, offer more

Shares > likes Leave comments alone

Time is irrelevant—you have an audience 24/7

04 Market

yourselF

The long hard slog to Internet fame begins here. Aside from quality blogging, which is completely up to you, keep up the following: 4.1 Tag who you want to see you I blogged for a long time without any sponsors, but I also started tagging brands like Forever21’s international account. If they like or repost your photo, grabe yung hatak niya–kaya makakuha ng 2,000 followers overnight! Marami ngang umaaway sa akin saying, “Everything you post has brands in it” because akala nila when I tag, ibig sabihin bayad ako. But for me that’s not the point, instead of them

having to ask me where I bought something, tinatag ko na lang para makita kaagad. 4.2 Comment–especially for your early appreciators I follow a lot of celebrities, and when they comment back to me tuwang-tuwa talaga ako. I would keep a folder na may screencaps ng replies or likes nila, ha ha! So feeling ko, if I have readers na ganun ka-loyal, they would appreciate engagement with the one they follow; so I try my best to reply. And my handler says brands prefer that you have engagement with readers rather than thousands of followers na di naman nag-ko-comment—yun daw ang mas important. 4.3 Don’t view all other bloggers as The Enemy The good thing about the fashion blogging industry here is that it’s not very competitive. So sometimes I refer other bloggers if may nag-approach sa akin na di bagay—like a vacuum company, so I told them about a mommy blogger. Then sana may iba ring nag-re-refer to me, ha ha! It’s not a bad idea [to pass on referrals]. Also, I’ve had a lot of trips abroad, and the Philippines is the friendliest talaga. Like sa ibang places, they don’t even help each other out with taking photos–here nagtutulungan talaga.

If you’ve become an overnight sensation, skip to step 6, otherwise:

05 stIck It out

“Feeling ko there are so many bloggers right now, and if you’re just copying another blogger or not blogging for the right reasons, hindi na siya authentic. Wala ako sponsors for six years, but I would still blog every day because I was really passionate about it. I would dress for myself. But now I dress to entertain the readers na rin, what they want to see.”

a GLossary of terms S n A p C h A T . Basically instagram, but everything explodes—or gets automatically deleted—Mission impossible-style after 24 hours, hence the more gonzo nature of content O n l I n E I n f l u E n C E r . A term invented to categorize bloggers who have outgrown the mere act of writing a digital diary and have the authority to influence their audience to patronize certain things B l O g . A web log, or a digital diary 9 g A g . Basically an easily accessible repository of memes stolen from Reddit r E D D I T . Online forum for everything under the sun, and where much internet joketime content comes from in the first place r E p O S T . Linking content created elsewhere while adding your own pa-witty commentary




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socIal MedIa shInInG examPLes of Internet #sUCCess 597k FB followers Their About page states: “Ang TANGINA THIS! ay di nabibili!” Basically posts and reposts time-wasting everything, but with added Filipino flavor. Not as angry as you would assume it to be.

Tangina This!

5.9m IG followers Basically a never-ending, perfectly curated stream of photos with inspirational/hugot quotes on them. Extremely shareable content. thegoodquote

j e n s e l t e r 7.1m IG followers The power of a curated photographic collection of one fine ass. You don’t even see Jen’s face in 50% of her posts!

969k Twitter followers Weirdo millennial humor. Endless retweet potential ensures its spread like a virus.

@tbhjuststop

06 ProFessIonalIze & MonetIze

07 PrePare to keeP uP wItH tHe tIMes

“With a blog, I know it’s not going to be forever, feeling ko para siyang modeling na as you get older nawawala yung market mo. I want to eventually make it like The Fat Kid Inside or Our Awesome Planet na it’s not focused na on your name, and you even have contributors. I can re-brand again, ha ha! Right now, surprisingly a lot of bloggers have video blogs. Parang mas nakukuha pa attention ng readers–they can hear your voice, they can see you move. Then Snapchat is mas real time pa than Instagram—and internationally there are already sponsored Snapchat posts.” FHM

If you’ve racked up the legit following, and brands are knocking at the door, it’s time to be a real influencer (and make some bank finally). 6.1 Actually quit your job to live the blogger life? It’s a full-time commitment too “I treat it like regular work. I wake up at 6 a.m., answer emails until 7 a.m., set up appointments, go to the gym, then off to events. Then at night I write and schedule my posts to be up by 2 a.m.” 6.2 learn to ask the big question… “I don’t always charge, and it’s really up to you if you want to charge [at all], or depende sa deliverables: Do they want just a brand mention or a whole blog post? Usually brands won’t [even offer payment up front], ikaw ang mag-o-offer. Feeling ko tine-test nila if this blogger is willing to give it for free–pero i-feel mo rin kung ano ang worth mo online [when you charge].” 6.3 …but don’t act entitled “Sa States, it’s the other way around, but in the Philippines I think it’s a turn-off if you’re the one who approaches the brand. Dito medyo turn off if you invite yourself to events. Usually they go to you and not you to them. You just really have to market yourself. Like tagging them, that’s usually where they notice you. And if they email me, I have a sample presentation of my posts ready.”

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WO R DS REY JOBLE P H OTO G R AP HY CHRIS LUCAS

THE

NEW KID ON THE

HARDCOURT In Its Inaugural season, the PIlIPInas CommerCIal BasketBall league Is set to Be the new stomPIng ground for varIous ex-PBa Pros, College Players takIng that next steP to B-Ball stardom, and other Pro Cager hoPefuls

D

o we need more basketball? If you ask senior sportsman Mr. Buddy Encarnado, we do, and that’s the reason he put up a new commercial league to back up the big dog, the Philippine Basketball Association, which is now entering its 41st season. Encarnado, a two-time Executive of the Year awardee in the PBA and a former league chairman of the pro league, used to be team executive of erstwhile PBA team Sta. Lucia Realtors until it exited the pro league in 2010. But now he’s back, and Sta. Lucia’s back, in the maiden season of the Pilipinas Commercial Basketball League (PCBL). As chair of the PCBL, Encarnado’s vision for the new league is simple: to provide sanctuary and livelihood to amateur players and ex-pros who are either looking to polish their skills preparatory to the big jump to the pros or provide opportunity to those who were not given enough exposure to prove themselves while playing in the PBA. There is, of course, the PBA D-League, which was created by the pro league as a middle ground for professionals and collegiate players to hone their skills and getting themselves equipped for the big battles ahead in the PBA. But the league could only cover a period of six months, leaving the professionals (the guys who play for a living, just like any other guy who goes to work) without a league to play for, forcing them to play elsewhere just to feed their families. “Ang sinasabi sa akin ng mga commercial players [playing for the D-League] ‘O boss, paano kami? Ang ibig sabihin sa January pa kami kakain? Paano yung pambayad namin sa renta ng bahay?’ And at the same time we also have so many players who, at a very young age, are already ex-professionals’. Twenty-seven years old, ex-professional? Where will they go? They cannot go back to college [to play],” says Encarnado.

Buddy Encarnado, chair of the PCBL

“We realized that there is a big void between college and the pro league. The problem right now is, the school-based teams, when they play commercial, they will go back later on to their school leagues. We want to provide a commercial league that will give them a stable job from January to December.” In its inaugural season, which began in October this year, the PCBL has eight teams, including Sta. Lucia Realty, which is making a comeback in the local cage circuit. Other participating teams include Caida Tiles and Kama Motors, both teams under the company of Racal; Euro-Med, sister company of Café France in the PBA D-League; Supremo Lex, partly owned by former Sta. Lucia guard Paolo Mendoza; Jumbo Plastic Linoleum; Cagayan Valley, and Foton. Three more teams have also expressed interest, according to Encarnado. “We will make sure that commercial basketball will be like how it once was in the days of the fabled MICAA and PABL. We hope that this will be the renaissance of commercial basketball in the Philippines. With more teams out there, more companies fielding teams, there will be more stability in commercial basketball to the benefit of everybody,” says Encarnado.

Rising stars and comebacking ex-pros Carlos Isit of Mapua and Cris Bitoon of Manuel Luis Quezon University are two stars from their respective schools who are quickly making their presence felt in the PCBL. Fighting it out with ex-PBA players and commercial players




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on vacation from the PBA D-League, Isit and Bitoon show that they can hold their own. Isit, a lefty point guard acquired by Cagayan Valley, has been averaging 14.7 points per game, and the fourth overall best scorer in the tournament behind Levi Hernandez of Foton, Jeff Biernes of Jumbo Plastic, and Kama Motors’ Rudy Lingganay, who played for Powerade, GlobalPort, Kia, and NLEX. In fact, the 5’10’’ Isit has emerged as the best two-point field goal shooter with a 71.4 percent clip in six games in the tournament. Head coach Ronnie Dojillo has nothing but praises for the young player. “His maturity is impressive. More than half of the team are new, including him. They have no commercial league experience, but Isit has able to keep a hold of this team,” said Dojillo. Bitoon, on the other hand, came from a league that barely had media exposure. He was the resident star point guard of the MLQU Stallions, but going up against tried and tested commercial league players is different. He got his baptism of fire in the PCBL Founders Cup and quickly, Bitoon refused to be intimidated. He is currently ranked no. 8 in scoring, averaging 13.7 points per game. JR Cawaling and Rudy Lingganay, on the other hand, are two of the ex-pros seeing action in the PCBL, playing for Kama Motors. During their time as college and amateur players, Cawaling and Lingganay were predicted to make an easy entry in the PBA. Unfortunately, they didn’t get the breaks needed to continue their run in the big league. A knee injury slowed down Cawaling, once a potent dead shot from Far Eastern University, who became part of the original SMART-Gilas Pilipinas then bannered by amateur players. When he entered the PBA, the 6’ 3” swingman’s stock dropped, being the last player to be picked

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because I lead them on the floor. The players and coaching staff want us to compete every day at practice. I also teach the young point guards. I’m bringing the experience I learned while playing in the PBA.”

in the third round by San Mig Coffee. At San Mig Coffee, Cawaling was like the 13th man on the rotation, only coming in to relieve James Yap, Allein Maliksi or PJ Simon, playing only during garbage time or in the waning minutes of a quarter. The only saving grace of that stint was that he was part of the team that claimed the 2014 PBA Grand Slam. But when Kia Motors and Blackwater entered the league in 2014, Cawaling had to be put on the dispersal draft. He was selected by the Elite, but was later traded to Kia and his career went in limbo right after that. Like Cawaling, Lingganay entered the PBA as a top prospect. He was a former Most Valuable Player in the D-League who, despite being small, had good court vision, decent outside shooting, and good leadership qualities, traits that made him a fit for the PBA. The lefty guard found out, though, that to play point in the PBA, you needed to do special things, what with the competition getting stiffer and bigger players also capable playing both guard spots. Both players are now hoping to get a second chance at playing in the PBA through their stint at PCBL. “It was Rudy who brought me here. I tried out and we were signed up. We’re already expros even though we’re still young,” Cawaling said. “We’re not expected to produce many points. They expect us to lead and guide the team to victory. We’re hoping to make it back to the PBA. ” “That’s my goal (to make it back to the PBA). I’m pushing myself hard every game, every practice,” says Lingganay. “I’m not used to being called Kuya. Every team that I went, I am usually one of the youngest. I used to call Gary David and Asi Taulava as Kuya Gary and Kuya Asi. Now, it’s different. I’m now the oldest player here. They want me to become the team captain

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Unified basketball From the get-go, it doesn’t seem like the PCBL is out to compete with the PBA or other existing leagues. Sports inside information has it that PCBL chair Encarnado had written a letter asking the PBA if it could act as a sort of fasttrack farm league to them by allowing players from the PCBL to apply directly for the PBA Rookie Draft without necessarily going through the D-League. College players can play in the PCBL as well, especially during the off season of their respective leagues, as in the case of Euro-Med, which features players from Centro Escolar University. The league may even have a few neat tricks up its sleeve. Encarnado intends to enlist the handful of Cameroonian and Nigerian players seeing action in the collegiate league as imports in the PCBL. He also plans to launch an invitational tournament where participating teams from the Southeast Asian region would be invited. “By next year we look forward to a more balanced formatting of three conferences. One conference with local imports, all African players in the Philippines at the moment. Lowest team now will pick the first pick for the import, down the line. In the third conference, we will see the coming of ASEAN teams. Brunei, Indonesia, Malaysia, Vietnam, Thailand to be ceded in the semis. I will tie up with other leagues in Southeast Asia where there will be reciprocity. We will now be able to send our teams to their countries.” At this writing, a unified schedule for both the ASEAN and Philippine teams is being worked out. The PCBL has also been tasked by the Samahang Basketball ng Pilipinas (SBL) to be the league where future SEABA and Southeast Asian Games players will be plucked from.



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“Remember the Philippine Amateur Basketball League selection that won the Asian Interclub? We won in Indonesia in 1988 with the likes of Patrimonio, Asaytono, Alvarez and company, Marata, Agustin, Cabahug. Huwag na nating abalahin ang Gilas. But at the same time kung makikita nila na some of our players have gone to the level of Gilas, we will gladly give it to them. “That will be our contribution. We are here not to compete with any other league. We are here to complement and augment the existing leagues. We know where we want to be,” says Encarnado. FHM


The FHM man test This month’s challenger...

JAY

C O NT RERAS

Man

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What fictional villain scares you the most? Boogieman, kalaban ng Ghostbusters. Man

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Not man

What’s the name of the coolest pet you’ve ever had? “Wasigirlneymfifi,” yung pet ko na praying mantis. Man

Have you ever taken secret selfies? Sometimes, pag bagong shave, ha ha! Man

Not man

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Not man

Man

4

Man

Man

4

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Not man

What’s the title of the weirdest porno you’ve watched? Edward Penishands Man

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Not man

If the world were to end tomorrow, what would your last meal be? Sinigang na baboy… served sa katawan ni Sora Aoi. Man

4

Not man

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Not man

Have you ever worn your briefs on top of your pants and pretended to be a superhero? No. Man

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Not man

Not man

What’s the worst thing you were teased about as a kid? “Jay, laki titi!” Ha ha! Man

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Have you ever had blood in your hands that was not yours? Oo, galing sa ano ng pepe, ha ha!

Not man

Would you ever carry your girlfriend’s purse at the mall if she asked you to? Kung may gagawin siya, halimbawa mag-cr o kung marami siyang dala. Pero, kung wala lang baka hindi.

Not man

What’s the longest you’ve gone without wearing deodorant? Deodorant? Ano ba yun? Tagal ko nang naririnig yun e! Man

Have you ever farted openly in public? Oo, lalo pag kinakapkapan ako ng guards sa mga malls.

4

Not man

Can you name one highranking FHM woman you’ve had an unforgettable experience with? Wala kaming hilig diyan…Loko lang, ha ha! Wala. Hindi nila kami pinapansin. Man

Not man

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If you could blow up one thing, what would it be? Mga ulo ng corrupt politicians. Man

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Not man

Which romantic comedy makes you feel giddy inside? Maging Chino Ka Men… Man

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Not man

13/15 One the few slowly dying breed of unapologetically maharot men, Jay almost aces the test! THE MAN TEST LEADERBOARD Se f Ca d a y o n a Tirso Ripoll Wally Bayola Dan Villegas J a y Co n t r e r a s Boy2 Quizon Jose Manalo Ranidel de Ocampo Ch i t o M i r a n d a A l d e n R i c h a r ds RA Rivera Gloc-9 Loonie M e d w i n M a r f il Brandon Vera

1 5 /1 5 1 4 /1 5 1 4 /1 5 1 4 /1 5 1 3 /1 5 1 3 /1 5 1 3 /1 5 1 3 /1 5 1 3 /1 5 1 2 /1 5 1 2 /1 5 1 2 /1 5 1 2 /1 5 1 2 /1 5 1 1 /1 5

ILLUSTRATION: LOUIS AReNAS

Have you ever sniffed used underwear? Yes. Minsan kasi may mabahong amoy sa room namin, akala ko may patay na daga so hinanap ko sa ilalim ng kumot, sa loob ng pajama ng yaya ng anak ko; buti di siya nagalit nung nagising siya na inaamoy ko panty niya. Sabi niya sakin, “thank you, kuya.”

INTeRVIeW: PONg CASTILLO

Rock band Kamikazee calls it quits after 15 years in the music scene. But lead singer Jay Contreras proves that they’re brand of harot and rock ‘n roll won’t be forgotten anytime soon...

Exp eRiENCE

bestie

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E s t Double tap with Karen Punzalan and

Hazel Cha

R i a R eg i no of fat Cat Stu d io

aS h M ah i nay

styling: D E B RA B E R N ALE S makeup: AMAN DA PAD I LLA hair: R ON N I E D U N G CA

BEstiEs

We don’t often feature ladies as two-for-one in the magazine because we like to give ourselves some breathing room to appreciate, you know? But every now and then, we get such a strong pairing that it just doesn’t feel right to break them apart–model buddies Hazel Cha and Karen Punzalan are one such example. Behold the embodiment of best friend goals, everybody.




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haZ e L Cha & Ka R e n P u n ZaLan

Have you ever modeled together in one shoot? Both: First time! K: Di nga namin alam kung ano ang ikikilos namin. H: Enjoy naman kasi mas comfortable ako na siya kasama ko–mas magaan lahat. How about shooting a duo–but with a guy? K: Well, ngayon may lalaki naman o, ha ha! H: Pero as in model na lalaki, wala pa. Do you think it would be fun? Both: Syempre, [mas masaya] yung kaming dalawa, ha ha! H: Baka mas magiging halata pa na awkward sa resulta ng picture, pag di ka sanay sa kasama mo. What should happen for you to be comfy with a co-model then? H: Siguro yung kwentuhan muna kayo. Kahit papaano, hindi yung shoot diretso agad. K: Oo, kaibiganin muna, para siya maging kumportable rin. Is that how it works when meeting guys too? H: Depende, kung interesado kami sa

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lalaki, ha ha! K: Syempre gusto ko mabait, matalino, at may pangarap sa buhay. H: Saka yung naiintindihan yung trabaho namin–na trabaho lang talaga. Let’s count off bestie experiences. Ever gone skinny dipping? H: Ay, hindi! K: Hindi pa pumasok sa isip ko na gumanon kami, pero kung maliligo okay lang, ha ha! H: Na-try na namin yun! Pero yung swimming tapos may ibang tao rin… parang hindi keri! Double date? H: Date lang. May pinuntahan kami, tapos sinundo kami pareho ng boyfriends namin–hindi yung parehong bagong lalaki. Out-of-town trip? K: Kadalasan, out-of-town events lang. H: Nagpaplano kami… K: Mga out of the country, pero laging di natutuloy. H: Kasi pag kapalit trabaho, syempre mas pipiliin namin trabaho–mukha kaming pera, ha ha! K: Mas priority lang namin work! H: Pero Hong Kong din sana…



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K: Yun lang muna ang kaya namin, ha ha! Kiss? K: Meron ako isang best friend na talagang nag-kiss kami nang torrid! Pero best friend ko lang din siya. Nagiinuman kami, tapos parang bi siya, maganda, at model din. Siya nag-insist na i-try namin hanggang napapayag niya ako! As in wasak na talaga ako, natulog pa kami magkatabi, ha ha! H: Ako naman, dati sabi ko sa friend ko, “Anong feeling mag-kiss ng nakabraces? Try natin!” Babae rin ‘to ah! So ayun, ako nagtanong at na-try namin– nakainom na rin, ha ha! But nothing between you two? H: Feeling ko hindi mangyayari, kasi kami yung type ng BF’s na ate niya ako. Madalas seryoso usapan namin K: Si Hazel, nagbibigay ng advice sakin. What about a…foursome? H: Oh my god, di ko kaya yun! K: Yun yung limit, ha ha! How about a double team on a lucky guy? H: Kung mala Brad Pitt, sige! Ha ha! K: Okay lang! Keri yun! FH M


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Photography: R IA R E G I N O OF FAT CAT ST U D I O Interview: AS H M AH I NAY, CH I S E ALCAN TARA AN D P O N G CA STI LLO Styling: BADJ G E N ATO Makeup: JAN I N A D I Z O N A N D AM AN DA PAD I L L A Hair: R H OY CE RVAN TE S

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DAS U R I C H O I

Real talk: Compare Koreans to Pinoy men fashion-wise. Honestly, Korean guys are way more fashionable than Pinoy guys. Koreans like trying new things and are more adventurous with colors [bright or neon ones]. Pinoys kasi prefer comfortable clothes over stylish ones and they like basic colors lang–for them it’s more manly pag black, gray or brown etc. Do dancers really have a clothing style? Yes! For me I always like showing my abs, ha ha! I have a long torso I look better in crop tops. It also works better for me if I wear sexy clothes–it adds to my charisma in dancing! Any sexy accidents while performing though? I had a gig back in Korea [with Brown Eyed Girls] and I wore one open shoulder top and that time I didn’t use safety pins since it was already tight. But when I started dancing–hataw– intro pa lang it's falling na, exposing my bra! So what I did was inhale lang para my chest will hold the clothes. It was really hard for me since hinihingal ako. ha ha! Now I always secure my costumes with safety pins and double-sided tape!

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SOMETIMES IT ALL LOOKS TH E SAM E TO US, B UT WE’R E MOR E I NTO CHECKING OUT HOW IT FITS. WE L I K E A PA I R O F J E A N S T H AT H U G S YO U R A S S E T S P E R F E C T LY, I F YO U K N O W W H AT I MEAN

Karen Amry

KAR E N AM RY

What’s your take on men going out in muscle tees? It’s a nice post-workout top, but I think it’s too informal on a date. Medyo underdressed pag sa gimmick. But men should invest in nice muscle tees for beach trips! What’s your everyday wear? My style is laidback with a touch of sexy to it. I invest on nice bras for wide muscle tees to be paired with jeans. Do women really pay attention to what kind of pants men wear? Of course! Sometimes it all looks the same to us, but we’re more into checking out how it fits. We like a pair of jeans that hugs your assets perfectly, if you know what I mean.

KAR SISON

If you could only choose one outfit that you had to wear for the rest of your life, what would it be? It would be a black

Kar

dress kasi you can probably pair it with anything, like a jacket or a scarf. And if you had the chance to bring back a style of fashion from the past, what would it be? Actually, love ko yung 1950s style—yung mga full skirts, ganun. Siguro for my wedding, yun yung magiging theme ko. How about if given the power to dictate your boyfriend’s clothing? I’d like to see him wear more preppy clothes, like checkered polos, pants, belt, and boat shoes!

GAB R I E LLE R U N NSTROM

Your features are very edgy. Is your fashion style the same? It depends. I wear girly clothes sometimes, but you’d see me more often in a statement shirt, a pair of jeans and boots. I like tight, tattered jeans. Tattered jeans on men though: yay or nay? I don’t mind, so long as

Gabrielle

it’s not high-waisted jeans. That screams nerdy to me, ha ha! I think mid- to low-rise jeans look good on guys. But we think the opposite goes for women–you girls look equally good in a high-waisted pair! I agree! But personally I think jeans shouldn’t be too ironed or clean. It should look rough and well used!

YA S S I B E N ITE Z

How fast can you take off your pants? If it has buttons siguro mga one minute. Are we talking about your pants or somebody else’s? If somebody else’s, baka less than one minute, ha ha! Have you ever ripped someone’s clothes off? Yeah, I’ve done it before. It happened in Boracay with my boyfriend. Kasi you know naman, what happens in Boracay when you get drunk, so ayun, ha ha!

Yassi

SHAN E HOMAN

How much do you spend for clothes? Not so much kasi I like to mix and match. I may not have a lot of clothes, but I see to it that I experiment in styling them para hindi mukhang paulit-ulit.

What do you think is a non-negotiable item in anyone’s closet? Just invest on the basics: plain tops and pants. Wag ka manghinayang if minsan mapapamahal ka kasi you pay for the quality naman. Yun yung magagamit mo in many different styles. What’s your favorite investment in your closet? I have a lot of black jeans, kasi yun yung madalas kong suot when attending gosees. Plus it’s lowmaintenance!

Shane

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KIM DOMINGO

What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever worn? Sando and panties. Para sa akin mas sexy yun kaysa sa two-piece bikini. What’s your favorite outfit to wear when you go out? Jeans, siyempre! Or joggers para kumportable. And if your pants were to spontaneously rip, what would you do? Pantatakip ko yung bag ko sa butas, ha ha!

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DIVI N E MAITLAN DSM ITH

How fast can you strip down to your pants? Depends. Are they skinny? I need two hands for those, so probably not that fast, ha ha! And when was the last time you rushed through the process? Does today count? No? Well, naughty times I guess, ha ha! How can a guy pull off the long tee vibe? I think it depends on what you pair it with. If you have bottoms that aren’t try hard–nothing that’s too styled or heavily embellished– any guy can pull it off, it’s just a matter of confidence. Crop tops or long tees on girls though? Probably someone with a crop top because, I wear long tees! So I’m looking for the opposite. And I think [visible] abs are always a bonus, flaunt it cause those are hard to get, ha ha!

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DAN I E LLA JOSE

Ever wish there was something like Rogin-E for girls? Actually, oo. Because let’s face it, sometimes girls want to be on top– so kelangan may energy, ha ha! And how do you burn off extra energy at the end of the day? Boxing, or I spend it with my boyfriend–kung may boyfriend ako. Pero

since wala, sa sarili ko na lang, ha ha! Shopping or spa–wag greenminded! And do you believe it’s important to take vitamins everyday?

Oo, kasi kelangan balanced. Naturally, part na ng healthy diet yung vitamins, pero pwede rin naman mag-add!

LHEA B E R NAR DI NO

Can you drink a man under the table? Depende sa inumin, di naman ako confident pero mas ok sa akin hard kaysa sa beer kasi hindi nakakabusog. But have you done it? Before. Sa mga FHM peeps, ha ha! Di naman padamihan pero nalasing na sila, ako hindi pa. Maybe you were faking? Hindi. Best part of drinking? Kwentuhan and tawanan. Pag inuman parang mas may sense yung pinag-uusapan pag nakainom na, kaysa sa normal na usapan. Sa experience ko, ang ganda ng pinaguusapan pag nakainom na, kahit di ka umiinom ma-i-interest ka pag narinig mo!

SA ExPERIENCE KO, ANG GAN DA NG PI NAGU U S A PA N PA G NAKAINOM NA, KAHIT DI KA UMIINOM MA-II N T E R E S T K A PA G NARINIG MO!

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RAC H E L AN N E DAQ U I S

We hear the modded car outside is yours... Oo, mahilig ako sa kotse and yung kotse ko panlalaki, ha ha! NakaMugen ako na seats, carbon fiber hood… nag-lo-load talaga ako sa sasakyan, pinalitan ko pa kulay! Did you do it all yourself? Oo, kasi mahilig ako sa sports car. Dream car ko Lamborghini na gold! And where do you take your whip? Ako yung type na walang driver, tapos pupunta Batangas or sa beach [para mag-relax]. Mabilis ako mag-drive, wala akong pakialam, ha ha! That’s definitely going against the lady driver stereotype! Siga ako kasi natuto ako mag-drive sa Morayta, so mga kalaban mo mga jeep. Ngayon, balewala sa’kin lahat, kasi natuto ako dun sa masisikip! FH M

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Tough Business

Timepieces that can survive even the most intense boardroom brawls

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eal men love G-SHOCKS because they are virtually indestructible—but their solid forms aren’t exactly suit-and-tie material. If you agree, then be ready to change your mind by heading over to the G-Factory Premium store in Greenbelt 5. Only the second of its kind in the world, inside this super swanky showroom reside the analog and metal brethren of the traditional G-SHOCK models, which combine a more mature look with the same toughness we’ve come to expect from Casio. Wearing one of these high-end pieces is pretty much like wearing a flak jacket underneath your suit coat.

[1] EQB-510, P19,995 [2] MRG-G1000B, P149,995 [3] GPW-1000T, P59,995 [4] GB-5600AB, P6,995 [5] DB-360G, P2,495

Erie: Coat, P6,395, Burton Menswear; Shirt, Topman; Pants, P3,395, Burton Menswear, Printed tie, P1,950; Mango Man Chelsea: Low back jumpsuit, H&M

Words: As h MAh i nAy Photography: R G M e d e stoMAs St yling: JAcqu e d e B oR JA Makeup: ch i n ky tAn JAn G co Hair: J ohAn Pi lo Models: e R i e oB s e nA of Mercator and ch e ls eA R oBAto

W H AT TO BU Y AND HOW TO WEAR IT

NEWS

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에리에 Erie Obsena of Mercator

Wool cashmere long coat, P8,990, Lemaire x Uniqlo; Gray shirt, P599, Uniqlo; Chinos, P1,990, Uniqlo; Shoes, H&M Moss green dress, P2,995, Topshop; Gray long coat, P7,990, Ines Dela Fresange x Uniqlo

첼시

Chelsea Robato

ST YL I N G: J A C Q U E D E B O R J A M A KE U P: C H I N KY TA N J A N G C O H A I R: J O H A N P I L O

F HYMLE ST

St arring: jacket colors you should really be considering

coat MY SASSY...

사랑해 코트

PHOTOGRAPHY WORDS

RG MEDESTOMAS ASH MAHINAY

Padded parka, H&M; Henley shirt, P1,750, Mango; Pants, P2,450, Mango Man; Black sneakers, P3,595, Pedro

Coats are the secret to looking like you jumped out of a Korean chick flick poster. And for all the lovey-dovey couples who like to head for colder climes, this one’s for you. Those who dig the topcoat look but are stuck here in the tropics, you can sneak in under the thermal threshold of comfort by waiting for peak -ber month weather, not being overly ambitious by strictly sticking to a two-layer routine, and most important: having the self-belief that you can carry the look.

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Cashmere blend short coat, P7,990, Lemaire x Uniqlo; Utility crop top, P1895, Topshop; Printed pants, P2,250, Mango; Pumps, H&M Green jacket, P3,595, Burton Menswear; Collarless long sleeved shirt, P1,990, Lemaire x Uniqlo; Black skinny jeans, P1,990, Uniqlo

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White top, P1,450, Mango; Boyfriend Jeans, P2,490, Uniqlo; Blue blazer, P4,495, Burton Menswear

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Trench coat, P4,950, Mango Man; Striped shirt, P599, Uniqlo; Stretch skinny fit jeans, P1,990, Uniqlo; Brogues, P2,290, H&M Wool blended duffle coat, P5,990, Uniqlo; Gray shirt, P1,450, Mango; Beaded skirt, H&M; Brogues, P2,995, Pedro. Necklace, H&M

even if you ha v e c o a t s , a lw a y s s h a r e umb r e l l a s

style

tip:

만약에 코트가 있다고 하더라도 항상 우산을 공유해 주세요*

FHM DECEMBER

Jhane Santiaguel …Wants to try out new things with you

JERICO MONTEMAYOR

CHISE ALCANTARA

STYLING: YSRA GUARIÑO; MAKEUP: RHINA MONTEMAYOR FOR CLARRIA COSMETICS; HAIR: PRIN CESS JOHNSON PIONAN

GIRLFRIEND

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nce referred to as “Mocha Girl Jhane,” the sexy gyrating punk hottie from the popular girl group is now taking her own show on the road as a solo act. Setting aside sometime from her busy schedule, we made sure that the time we had with her was well spent… What have you been doing since you left the Mocha Girls? I’ve been modeling and doing solo shows here and there. I’m also taking the time to vacation with family! Solo gigs still let you do hot dance numbers? Well, I dance and sing, and of course twerk! Ha ha! Where did you learn how to twerk? Or are you just naturally gifted with those talents? Marunong na ako before pero tinuruan pa rin ako ni Franz (Fainsan, also of the Mocha Girls) para lalong gumaling.

So what did you learn during your twerking sessions? Well, you have to have a lot of muscle control, ha ha! Could we expect a new twerking video anytime soon? You can watch for them on my social media accounts! Other than twerking, did the other members of the Mocha Girls teach you anything else? We hear Mocha (Uson) teaches lots of stuff in her blog… Yes, maraming itinuro si Ms. Mocha sa pag-perform and kung paano makihalubilo sa mga tao, and si Mae (Dela Cerna, former EB babe) naman, ang dami ring itinuro sa akin like mga exhibition moves na p’wedeng gawin sa show. Do you have any plans of joining the group again? Sa ngayon, wala. Masaya naman sa group pero gusto ko kasing magtry ng ibang work and besides, nakakadalaw naman ako sa kanila kapag nami-miss ko sila. Love na love ko silang lahat.

So what kind of business are you trying out right now? All I can tell you is it isn’t entertainment, it’s actually more of an office thing. We’re really hoping to get you as a sexy boss lady, then. What is your dream job? Um, Gusto ko in line sa tourism industry kasi yun ang highlight sa province ko sa Palawan. Sana in a few years meron na akong sarili kong office, ha ha! If you were to tour us through Palawan, what location would be your main attraction? Probably the underground river. Isa siya sa New 7 Wonders of Nature ng buong mundo. Lastly, what do you have to say to fans who will probably be devastated when they find out they won’t see you onstage that much anymore? Ha ha! Wala naman akong fans! Joke! Well, magso-solo shows pa naman ako so abangan na lang nila yun, and siyempre, feeling ko naman magugustuhan nila yung makikita nila rito, ha ha! FH M

Jhane’s life this month Glowing ba? Ha ha! 114 FH M DECEMBER 2015


Hmmm... fresh and fishy twitter.com/fhmphil •

fhmphilofficial

Hold up. This is my jam! www.fhm.com.ph

WIN AT LIFE

Hiking BrEEZY Feel that cold mountain air

The brrr months are at their end, but we’re still feeling a bit bitin here in the Metro. With all the noise and air pollution, we just can’t seem to relax. Have you guys ever felt like you wanted to escape it all? So why don’t you? The clouds are astonishing this time of year, but with the amazing view comes the chance of some drizzle. If you’re planning to trek anytime soon, better equip yourselves with gear and tips that’ll stand firm against the forces of nature. You have to look fresh in those Instagram hiking pictures, don’t you?

1 H Y D RAT E O N T H E WAY U P 2-3 liters a day will keep most people hydrated (more liters if you’re a masochist and want to hike during peak daylight hours). Your Choices of Liquid include: Good ol’ H20, and energy drinks. A bit of liquor is probably good (but not advised) considering the weather. Don’t get drunk on your way up, it’ll just get tougher

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PROTECT YOURSELF A first aid kit will go a long way in dealing with those minor cuts and bruises that you might get while braving the forces of nature. Ready some band-aids, cleaning alcohol, sunscreen, povidone-iodine (or topical cleaning medicines), wraps, antihistamine, and cottons so you can be everybody’s favorite hiker when trouble emerges.

NUTRITION The amount of food you should bring depends on how many meals you’re going to eat during the hike. Trail foods are important so you can keep supplying your body with constant energy to burn because hiking, as you may have guessed, is a very strenuous activity. A dose of potassium and sodium can help keep cramps at bay, according to our guides. Your water intake should be controlled and limited to sips in order to keep yourself hydrated but not bloated as you climb. Our guides say too much water intake can make you nauseous.

B O DY CONDITIONING It’s always important to condition your body before going up a mountain. Knowing and accepting your physical limits is very important if you don’t want to be a liability to your hiking team, and look like a loser to the hiker chick you’re with. Cardio and leg training is very important in building endurance, say our Trail Adventour guides Joel Grande and Aubrey Faith Mella. Climbing up a mountain when you’re not at your 100% adds unnecessary risk to your hike. But when we say, 100%, that doesn’t only mean physical but 7also mental. Mental awareness is crucial if you want to be safe in the mountains, where literally, one misstep could spell grave injury or even death. Get a good night’s sleep before your trip to ensure an alert and everready mind. PHOTOGRAPHY: PAUL MONDOK WORDS: CHISE ALCANTARA SPECIAL THANKS TO: TRAIL ADVENTOURS

Quick-dry clothes Quick dry clothes are a must if you want to avoid rashes and irritations on your skin, say the Trail Adventour guides

5 G E AR U P Knowing what trail you’re going to trek and in what weather will come in handy when preparing for the gear you’ll need.

Bat an g as M o u n t a i n s Easy to get to from Metro Manila, and are relatively easier to climb than other regions’ mountains. Noticeable mentions are: Mt. Batulao, Pico de Loro, Mt. Makulot, Mt. Manabu, Mt. Galugod Baboy.

Bags Backpacks still get the popular vote if you want to carry your stuff around safely. Get the waterproof kind to protect from dampness of fog and actual rain.

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A mountain is still a mountain but we had the Trail Adventour guides Joel and Aubrey recommend some “beginner-friendly” mountains for people who don’t want to collapse from exhaustion on their first hike.

Rashguards, umbrellas, and scarves These are also really good options when it comes to keeping dry, and staying safe from violent UV lights, say the Trail Adventour guides.

Hiking Shoes A must buy for every hiker. If you only have enough funds for just one piece of hiking equipment then you should prioritize this. You should look for something lightweight, sturdy, stable, and most importantly, comfortable to wear, says Trail Adventour Guides. The Chameleon Shift Ventilator Gore-tex from Merrell has all these characteristics, and more. It’s ultra lightweight and has compression molded EVA footframe that provides cushioned landings and stability with each step for those sharp rocks and uneven terrain.

TH I NGS YO U R E A L LY D O N ’ T H AV E TO B R I N G DURING YO U R H I K E

BEGINNER-FRIENDLY MOUNTAINS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM

A selfie stick

Not only is it really douch-ey to have one in general–you could actually hurt someone if you trip and poke someone’s eye out.

Big ass containers for vanity products Space in your pack is very valuable but if you just have to look good for your mountain peak selfies, then we suggest you put them into tinier containers to maximize your space.



Speakers

R izal Mo u n t ain s Same as the mountains in Batangas, the mountains and this region are relatively “easy” climbs, with fun twin hikes (hiking two mountains during one hike) such as Mts. Pamitinan and Binacayan because we can’t seem to get enough mountain.

We know that Miley Cyrus’ “It’s the Climb” would be the perfect jam as you meet the sky at the glorious peak of a mountain—but please, keep your tunes to yourself. Other people need their introverted senti alone-time moments too.

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Trash

Well, you can bring it up as long as you bring it down with you as well. LNTB (leave no trace behind) is a rule all hikers should follow if we want to preserve our beautiful mountains for generations to come.


UPGRADE

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA WORDS: KHYNE PALUMAR

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T HO A T E L M

The lowprofile disaster prep kit

2 1 Akari rechargeable solar L E D lantern

Ditch the inflatable raft and sledgehammer, these personal effects will bail you out of a sticky situation when you least expect it… 118 FH M DECEMBER 2015



Powered via an electric plug or through revolving plates of double two-by-two-inch solar panels. Harnesses 1,800mAh for lighting up or juicing any external gadget that can leech power from its USB power output. P1,595, Handyman

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Windstorm Safety Whistle

Made of high-impact thermoplastic and engineered with a dual chamber design to blast out a loud, blaring sound you’d hardly call a “whistle.” Larger and louder than regular pito, it works not just in drenched environments, but underwater too. P650, Conquer Outdoor Equipment

www.fhm.com.ph

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3 Coronada Transistor Radio

When kuryente and WiFi goes kaput, batteryoperated radios will be important again—but will you remember how to use them? This oldstyle transistor radio complete with rotary tuning control and a carrying handle that doubles as antenna and stand should be an easy pickup. P895, True Value

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www.fhm.com.ph

4 Kikkerland mini wooden hammer tool

An unassuming pocket-sized stainless steel multi-tool that houses any or all your keys—but also, in the event of necessity, unfolds into: pliers, bottle opener, screwdriver, and conveniently, a palm-sized hammer for unexpected pummeling. P795, Rustan’s

5 Easy Out There Pocket multitool knife

You can buy the priciest Swiss Army knife and wait out the few times you’ll ever really use it, or you can use a basic three-by-two-inch stainless steel pangharabas like this. Includes: a double row crisscross saw to gnaw off ropes and twigs; a smoother side knife for slicing fruit; an abre lata for corned beef; bottle opener for booze; adjustable wrench, ruler, and key ring. P100, Conquer Outdoor Equipment



6 Might D L ight folding L E D worklight Camouflages as a kid toy, then unfolds as a chest-sized desk lamp that twists 270º on its hinges, hooks into tricky places via built-in bungee straps, and sticks securely to metals via its neodymium magnets. Lights up to 210 lumens for five hours at a time. P1,995, True Value

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7 Easy Out There first aid kit

Deceptively tiny, but packs 32 pieces of potentially lifesaving first aid, from rehydration salts and diarrhea meds to povidone iodine pads, blood lancet, and surgical blades. Plus an idiot-proof list of each meds' two-to-three-year expiry dates. Glows in the dark too. P490, Conquer Outdoor Equipment


UPGRADE

HOW I DID IT

I never got to finish college. When I entered UP, I took up industrial engineering, then shifted to art studies for a while, then I was non-major for a long time until I decided to just leave school altogether. I was a call center agent for five years, and that's when I actually got to go to Australia for training. But that has nothing to do with the accent I play now. There was a two-year period when I was unemployed, and I just lived on P20 a day. I lived in Krus na Ligas, [inside the UP Diliman campus] maraming bakery dun na makakabili ka ng tinapay na piso lang—Spanish bread, monggo bread, ensaymada, the works.

As a kid, I loved doing accents. Being an introvert, I didn’t have many friends. Mostly I stayed at home and entertained myself by telling myself stories of what I saw on the street. I also watched a lot of cartoons. That, plus a lot of idle time, and the ability to copy accents, made for an entertaining time when I was a kid.

I also hung around carinderias that were about to close for the day, kasi alam kong ibibigay lang din nila sa akin yung mga tira na ayaw nilang itapon. So that's how I got by for those two years.

Luck played a big factor—being in the right place at the right time. So what if I can do a Filipino-Australian accent? A lot of people can do that. But why am I here instead of them? We just come up with good oneliners, we don't really think of the bigger picture. We don't even know what will happen next. That's how we work. With Comrade Boris, we were hoping that "adult" brands will come on board—you know, condoms, male supplements...but those brands just stayed clear of us, so what Boris got was like, anti-allergy medicine. I come up with characters all the time, but sometimes you just have to admit that no matter how good they are, some of them just won’t fly. Oh, I really don't want to talk about those other characters, it's un-publishable! Well, it got...dark, let's just leave it at that.

Then I worked as a production assistant for The Front Act Show at RPN. I got to work there because one of my bandmates at Penguin was a production manager, and I got paid P250 a day. Sometimes I was only needed for one shoot a week.

Nothing too political or religious. I’d rather not go there. It used to be that no character was off-limits, but now that I’m a dad, I really think about the kind of characters I want to put out. I’m now looking at educational programming for children. Why? It's for my daughter, so that she can have something to watch on YouTube.

It had a radio show as well, and I called up the show pretending to be a listener from Australia who can also speak Bisaya.

I can't really explain how my videos went viral, because you can't always guarantee what will go viral. I'd say it's part luck, but we always made sure that we had good content in the first place.

That's how Jako [de Leon of PaperbugTV] discovered me—he was already thinking of a Steve Irwin character who, instead of hunting crocodiles, was hunting people. None of his talents could do it.


In our first episode, on the Philippine Snatcher, I looked very different. That wasn't even my vest, so hindi siya kasya kaya iniwan na lang naming bukas. I didn't have a belt, tali lang yun, pero hindi naman nahalata kasi naharangan ng tiyan ko. And we shot the entire thing over a lunch break.

Oh, I'm not rich—if everything works out, I might be, but there's still no guarantee. I'd say my money right now is moving. I'm part owner of Hoy Panga! [grill restaurant chain]. Because of those low years of my life, I'm now very careful with money—I never want to go back. facebook.com/FHM.ph •


fhmphilofficial

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P H OTO G R AP H Y: H E I D I PAS C UAL-AQ U E N D E ; I N TE R V I E W: TO N I ANTI PO R DA

From living on P20 a day to YouTube and TV personality

I like where I am right now. I don't want to be more famous, but I also want the work to keep on coming.

CV MARCO HO, 30 Currently: • YouTube star and TV personality, Bogart the Explorer • Co-owner, PaperBugTV Formerly: • Production assistant, The Front Act Show, RPN Channel 9 • call center agent, various Educated at: • Industrial Engineering, UP Diliman (undergrad)

www.fhm.com.ph



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UPGRADE

The Original Hot Hatch

PRICE

P 2.29 0 M

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When Volkswagen coined the phrase “engineered for play”, they were referring to the Golf GTI—in 2015, by far the sexiest it’s ever been

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WORDS: ALLAN HERNANDEZ

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5 1 THE LOOKS Its design lines are well-balanced in true German form. It's not a girly kind of a hatch, as the Pinoy driver often perceives this kind of car—it's the hot racy hatch that it should be. 122 FH M DECEMBER 2015

2 ENGINE A GTI 2.0 TSI DSG. In Sport mode, you can floor it and the car will have you reach the edge of the redline before it shifts to next gear for more (illegal) thrills at the SCTEX-TPLEX stretch. facebook.com/FHM.ph •


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Cross towns on two wheels

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What’s style, speed, and power on wheels if you can’t breeze through the unbearable Metro traffic? Take your pick from the Suzuki Triple Threat motorbikes and let it take you from point A to point B on time

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4 SPORT PEDALS We really like the shiny race-like pedals—shows that a car like this thrives on detail. In other cars, pedals are a matter to be ignored; in the Golf you'll be tempted to rub polish on them.

4 HATCH BACK It's the Europeans who are suckers for hot hatches, so the Golf GTI is a hot item there. In form and function, and we should say history going back to the mid '70s, the Golf really is the standard for all hot hatches.

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6 MODE BUTTON The driving mode button is beside the shift stick. Forget the economy mode, you won't feel the savings (this is a sporty car, after all). Waste gas and press sport. 7 SEATS At first glance it looks like a picnic cloth, but it's actually an iconic detail for the Golf.



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2 Suzuki X-4 Powered by a 150cc engine and designed to withstand any kind of road conditions, the AX-4 is perfect for off-road trips even with heavy load. The five-speed transmission with engine balancer reduces vibration for when the road gets rough while cruising at a high speed. The AX-4 can also be weld with a sidecar, making it the perfect business partner that performs with comfort, power, and durability. Pri c e : P hP 6 8 , 9 0 0

3 Suzuki

Address

If you decide to go on two wheels on a daily basis, better have a stylish and fuel-efficient bike to boot. The Address is built with Suzuki Eco Performance, a cutting-edge culmination of Suzuki engine technologies coupled with the Suzuki Fuel Injection System for maximuum power and optimum fuel performance. Also, the 5.2L fuel capacity gives you longer uninterruted ride perfect for your active lifestyle. Pri c e : P h P 6 6 ,9 0 0

WO R D S: P O N G CASTI LLO

3 WHEELS 18" wheels come as standard and the brakes, front and rear, are 16" discs, with the added detail of red brake calipers.

1 Suzuki Gixxer Experience cruising on a big bike with the Gixxer, which promises power with its 155cc engine, and captivating style with its sleek body design. The Gixxer is engineered with a light diamondshaped chassis for excellent maneuverability and comfortable riding posture. The Gixxer is built with full digital meter panel and an ignition key inspired by the Suzuki GSX-R. The Gixxer comes in three colors—blue, red, and black. Pri c e : P hP 8 9 , 9 0 0

5 COCKPIT The driver's view is all-out Teutonic: minimal, elegant, pure symmetry. In contrast, a Japanese car would have you feel like you're commandeering a robot.

NOVEMBER 2015 FH M 123

UPGRADE

Tech ‘updates’ that make us nervous It’s time to grab your pump-action shotguns because the robots are coming, and they’re out to get you. Peksman !

The scenario goes a little something like this: Man invents guns. Man invents robots. Man gives robots guns. Robots kill man. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? But let’s dial it back a little. Artificial intelligence is alive and well not just in the battlefield, in Japan, and in consumer tech factories—A.I. is right up in your face and right smack in the palm of your hands. Allow us to illustrate…

ILLUSTRATION: JEREMIAH IDANAN WORDS: VINCE SALES

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LIVE-FROMTHE-STREET SPYING 2

ROBOTS STEAL YOUR JOB

Thankfully, murderous rampaging robots are years away. In today’s world, a more real danger is robots spying on everything you do. Exhibit A: Google Street Voyeur. Not only are the robots listening in on you, they’re also watching you.

Google Street View helps you navigate around town, but it can also watch you making tambay at the corner, or drinking outside your house. It’s just another sign that thanks to technology, privacy is fast disappearing. The robots are watching, so go put on a shirt.

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KILLER ROBOTS

Military drones are a regular thing in war zones now, but they have human pilots flying them from miles away while making “pew pew” sounds from the safety of their military bunkers—that’s all set to change soon. Military weapon systems are being developed to take the slow, stupid meat bag out of the loop. In the future, drones will be able to select and attack (human) targets without humans telling them to shoot. Yes without humans. If you thought unmanned aerial drones were your only problem, think again, upright monkey. A company called

Boston Dynamics, which works with the US Department of Defense, has built a six-foot tall, 320-pound humanoid robot named Atlas. The idea is to reduce the risk to military personnel in war zones, but it’s not difficult to see how this idea can go terribly wrong. All these killer robots doing stuff on their own is enough to freak out some seriously smart humans, like Stephen Hawking, Elon Musk, Steve Wozniak and others. They released a letter at the International Joint Conference on Artificial Intelligence in Buenos Aires warning that autonomous robots could set off “a global A.I. arms race” and potentially be more dangerous than nuclear weapons.

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KILLER CARS 3

THE PHONES HAVE EARS

Never mind that your phone is snooping on everything you do. It can also literally listen in on you. CIA whistleblower, Edward Snowden, ratted out the American government and their nefarious practices online. Among his more disturbing revelations was that they could activate the speaker of your mobile phone without you knowing and without your consent. In case you’re wondering, yes, that’s what Batman did in The Dark Knight when he was looking for the Joker, but without the fancy sonar stuff –and the good intentions.

Before the robots rise up and kill us, they will take over the workplace. In fact, they’re already doing it. Boston Consulting Group estimates that by 2025, up to 25% of jobs will be replaced by smart software or robots. Robots already beat us at chess (IBM’s Deep Blue beat Grandmaster Garry Kasparov in 1997), and Jeopardy (thanks to IBM’s Watson), so why stop there?

Meanwhile, driverless cars are being developed by everyone from Google to Volkswagen—and surprise,. They might kill you. The reason is probably not what you think. For one, driverless cars aren’t about to go on a road rage, and just like airplanes on autopilot, bots are probably better drivers than humans. The problem is security. Hackers have been able to shut down a Chrysler Jeep while it drove down a highway. They’ve also been able to confound the LiDAR system (which uses lasers like sonar uses sound) used in many driverless cars. The hack can mimic the signal of pedestriuans, or other cars. Or a wall.

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iSNOOP

Siri, that deaf-as-a-doorknob voice search assistant in your mobile phone, has a little chunk of speech recognition A.I. in her, and she’s up to no good. That’s because your phone is keeping track of everything you do online: the queries you feed Siri, the sites you read, the stuff you buy, the posts you like, and the porn you watch. Facebook, Google, Apple, Amazon all do it to deliver more targeted ads and recommendations, and sell you more stuff. Facebook is free, those Android games are free, iOS is free because, well, let’s face it: you’re the one on sale.

‘BOTS TAKING OVER Robot Factory Workers They've been at it for a while: China's opened its first fully automated robot factory, while Foxconn, the electronics giant that makes Apple’s iPhones, plans to have 30% robot workforce in the next five years.

Robot Everything Else In some US hospitals, robots aid doctors in diagnosing illnesses and performing surgery. There are robot ticket booths, robot waiters, and oh yeah, robot drivers who will finally put an end to the Uber or Taxi debate.

Weird Robots from Japan In the Henn na (“Weird Hotel”) in Nagasaki, robots run everything. There is even a robot receptionist in the shape of a mechanical velociraptor. Because. erm… because it's Japan. The better to eat you with, my dear.

UPGRADE of seconds; all you need is the perfect storm of crappy mobile Internet service (which happens more often than not), a photo that won’t load, and impatient fingers and before you know it, you’ve ended up accidentally double-tapping and liking a photo from 12 weeks back. Huli ka balbon!

Rules of Social Media Stalking Snooping

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DON'T GET CAUGHT!

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Thumb in your private time It goes without saying that browsing through someone's page should be done in relative privacy, like during your morning throne squat or before you go to bed. Do not do it when you're waiting your turn at the MRT, waiting in line, or worse, at work, when your boss might walk in on you. Tempting as it is, mag-Aldub retrospective ka na lang. It goes without saying that any sleuthing activities shouldn't be done on your work computer unless you're inclined to provide the IT department with some entertainment.

Keep in sn o o p m o d e, n o t c reep m o d e Everyone snoops. Go ahead and browse through bikini photos of her in Boracay. Hey, it’s set to public view, right? Browse through each of her social network pages—but don’t go as far as creating a bogus browsing account, or attempt to hack or get past anything that she’s set to private. That’s just creepy.

For Insta-browsing, you can download apps like Flow or Phonegram which let you create lists of accounts you want to keep tabs on, then presents the feed in a way that makes liking a photo always a deliberate act on your part.

right away by the background of her selfie what restaurant she’s at. Resist the urge to throw on a pair of pogi pants and orchestrate an accidental-but-not-really meet. Use that newly acquired knowledge instead to properly ask her out to the same, or similar restaurants. 5

4 O n lin e st alk in g , n o t real- t im e st alk in g You see her latest Instagram post and because you’re such a foodie, you can tell

L o o k fo r an alt ern at ive b rows in g ap p fo r in s t ag ram Yes, it’s fun to check people out on Instagram, but fun can turn to “Fuck!” panic in a matter

2 A B C — always b e c l e a r ing Clear your search history: In your mobile browser, on the app, and on your phone’s keyboard 126 FH M DECEMBER 2015

auto-complete. It will save you from analog awkwardness in the unlikely but possible event someone else uses your phone. facebook.com/FHM.ph •


fhmphilofficial

7 D o n ’ t le a ve a sc reen s h o t t ra i l Sometimes, you need a friend to share what you’ve learned. When sending screenshots, crop it so that your notification bar, where you’ve changed your carrier name to “King Randy’s phone” can't be seen. Keep screenshots as unidentifiable as possible, and make sure to regularly purge your photo library of your screenshots. 8 Sh o p - sno o p Sure, it’s tempting to check up on an ex—especially if it’s #throwbackthursday or #hugoteveryday, but don’t obsess and park your social media stalking in one woman’s feed. There are plenty of fish on social media. www.fhm.com.ph

WO R D S: TANYA TI N G

Accidentally ‘liked’ another cute-girl-fromthe-office’s post on Instagram again? Here’s putting your social media snooping skills in order…

P lay d u m b If you spend real face time with the object of your online attention, don’t act like you know everything about her. Let her tell you how her weekend went before going into an “Uy, nakita ko nag-Valkyrie ka ng Friday tapos ano, masarap ba dun sa bagong resto na pinuntahan niyo nung Saturday? Did your mom like the cake you bought her, belated pala kay Tita!” Addendum/rule 6.5: You shouldn’t friend any of her family members online.

INSPIRING

ENGAGING

IGNITING

W W W. S U M M I T M E D I A .CO M . P H

When things don’t work out

Book review One time, my crush went on a booksale date with me. She sees her favorite book on the shelf. I was suddenly quiet so she asks me “Hindi mo pa siya nababasa?” Wanting to impress, I reply “Ay, ayan ba? Oo, siyempre, ganda niyan eh!” She then asks me what was the thing I liked most about the book. I told her that I had to go to the CR. I had Internet access on my phone, so I Sparksnoted the shit out of the book. In a few minutes, I came back with enough info and told her everything, but she just stared at me. “Iba yata yung nabasa mong libro,” she told me. We found out that there was another book that had the same title. I confessed, and she thought it was cute that I went through the trouble just to impress her. That was probably the only time my lying ever worked out for me. KafkaOnTheRocks, via Facebook

Thrill seeker

I finally managed to ask out my crush out on a date at a theme park one weekend—but she misconstrued it as a group thing so she brought along some of our common friends and that kinda sucked for me. But I was determined to have some alone time with one way or another. So while everyone was chickening out on jumping on a rollercoaster ride, and my crush really wanted to ride one, I decided to accompany her even though I was 128 FH M DECEMBER 2015

pissing my pants in fear. Fastforward—we were at the top of the semi freefall dive part of the rollercoaster, sitting side by side. I was about to pass out when I suddenly felt the softest hand I’ve ever felt holding my hand. At the end of the ride, there were photos of the people screaming as they were on the ride, and then the picture of my face: a combination of smiling contentment and mental anguish. Oh, well, at least I didn’t pee myself. Be Jolly, via Facebook facebook.com/FHM.ph •

I wanted to try out a thing I saw on Hitch; something that that Will Smith, taught Kevin James–the 90-10 rule–whenever you want to kiss a girl, you should never go the full 100%, but stop before 90% and let her meet you with the rest. We were at her front porch, a scene cut straight out of a movie, we were saying goodnight to one another, and I had noticed that she wasn’t heading inside. I felt like this was my opening, so I leaned in, and that’s when I loss balance and accidentally kissed her on the nose. I apologized, but she just gave me a peck on the cheek. She blushed as she said good night and scurried inside; that’s when I knew, I had fallen in love. Jaden-Sama, via Facebook

TRUE

STORY

Wrong Timing

My office crush and I were going to have merienda, and I was really excited to have some alone time with her since I felt like we weren’t at the asking-her-outon-the-weekends level yet. She asked me if I could wait a while since she was just finishing an article she was writing. She took longer than expected and my boss suddenly called for a meeting, so I messaged her if she could wait for me. My teammates had merienda/meeting at our pantry, and all I could think about was, “What if she didn’t receive my message?” Then it happened, she walked into the pantry and saw me with my teammates. She stared at me with a confused face as she sat at another table. She ended up eating alone. I explained to her what happened as soon as our meeting finished and she just laughed it off. I treated her to lunch the next day to say sorry, so I guess it wasn’t a total loss. Echos Morales, via Facebook


fhmphilofficial

Princess Legaspi I remember a whole week that I wasn’t really following my diet as strictly as I should have. My dad and I were driving to a friend’s house, and suddenly, my stomach felt funny. I asked my dad to stop at gasoline station so I could have some “me time.” When I got to the restroom area, the girls before me decided to take a selfie sesh inside the cubicle. Seriously, what’s hot about having a toilet in the background? Anyway, moving on, I really had to do my thing and I have no choice but to ask all the guys lined up at the guy’s toilet to let me go first. These gentlemen let me do so and I was able alone to do my thing for about 30 minutes. You guys should’ve seen my smile when I got exited the toilet, ha ha!

www.fhm.com.ph

I L L U S T R AT I O N : G I L B E R T D A R O Y ; P R I N C E S S ’ P H O T O : E J AY L E U N G O F M I D N I G H T B O N K E R S

TRUE STORIES

90-10 RULE

PARTY S H OTS C A L E N D A R

2 0 1 6

PA R T Y C

A

L

E

S H OTS N

TANDUAY RHUM OFFICIAL

D

A

R

TANDUAYRHUMPH

2 0 1 6

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

P R OJ ECT E D ITO R: P ON G CASTI LLO ART D I R ECTO R: J OH N LAU R E N CE PATU LAN P H OTO G R AP HY: PAOLO PI N E DA AN D E JAY LE U N G OF M I D N I G HT B ON K E R S STYLI N G BADJ G E NATO MAK E U P: JAN I NA D I Z ON, P ON G N I U, AN D AR CH I E TOLE NTI N O HAI R: DAVE G R ONA, E M MAN U E L H E R NAN D E Z I I, AN D D ONALD LAPE Z

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

natalia

El Kapitan 1 part Tanduay 5 Years 3 parts dark cola  Stir. Put ice cubes.  Garnish with lemon and lime wedge.

minmin

J A N U A R Y S

3 M

10 4

T

17 11

5 W

24 18

12 6

T

13

1 S

25 19

7 F

26 20

14 8

2

31

27 21

15 9

28 22

16

29 23

30

2 0 1 6 TANDUAY RHUM OFFICIAL

TANDUAYRHUMPH

CAPONES

MOON

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

joycee

CASTRO

Galera Sunrise 6 parts Tanduay Light 6 parts orange juice 5 parts pineapple juice 3 parts lime juice 2 parts grenadine

 Shake. Fill with ice cubes.  Pour grenadine gently.  Garnish with pineapple slices and mint.

F E B R U A R Y 7

S M

1 T

14 8

2 W

21 15

9 3

T

22 16

10 4

F

29 23

17 11

5 S

28

24 18

12 6

25 19

13

26 20

miranda

27


TANDUAYRHUMPH

ALDANA

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

mayumi

B oracay Coco Overload

darline

2 measures Boracay RumCappuccino 3 parts chocolate drink 1 tsp. condensed milk 

Add crushed ice.

M A R C H S

6 M

13 7

T

YOKOYAMA

1 W

20 14

8 2

T

21 15

9 3

F

28 22

16 10

4 S

27

23 17

11 5

29 30 24 18

12

31 25

19

26


TANDUAYRHUMPH

JOY

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

marilena

SHIRAKAWA

caren

Strawberry Daiquiri

A P R I L S

3 M

10 4

T

17 11

5 W

24 18

12 6

T

19 13

7 F

1 S

25

20 14

8 2

26 27 21 15

9

28 22

16

29 23

30


TANDUAYRHUMPH

JILL

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

karen

Dark Mojito 2 measures Tanduay ESQ 1 measure Jamaica Lime Juice 3 measures of clear cola 1 tsp. sugar  Add crushed mint leaves.  Add ice cubes.

M A Y S

1

8

15

22

29 asia

M

2 T

9 3

W

16 10

4 T

23 17

11 5

F

24 18

12 6

S

30

25 19

13 7

31

26 20

14

27 21

28


TANDUAYRHUMPH

GOMEZ

AMRY

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

jelai

ANDRES

Palm B each 1 measure Tanduay 65 1 measure London Gin 1 measure pineapple juice  Add crushed pineapple.  Add ice cubes.

karen

J U N E S

5 M

12 6

T

19 13

7 W

1 T

20 14

8 2

F

27 21

15 9

3 S

26

22 16

10 4

28 29 23 17

11

30 24

18

25


TANDUAYRHUMPH

PUNZALAN

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

allyza

Rum Sour 4 parts Tanduay White 2 parts lemon juice 2 parts curacao  Shake.  Garnish with cherry.

J U L Y S

3 M

10 4

T

17 11

5 W

24 18

12 6

T

19 13

7 F

1 S

25

20 14

8 2

26 27 21 15

9

luane

28 22

16

DE LIMA

29 23

30


TANDUAYRHUMPH

SY

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

karen

Red Vixen 2 measures Tanduay 1854 1 measure cranberry juice 2 measures raspberry juice 1 measure apple juice

 Fill with lemonade.  Add ice cubes.  Add apple slices for garnish.

A U G U S T 7

S M

1 T

14 8

2 W

21 15

9 3

T

22 16

10 4

F

29 23

17 11

5 S

28

24 18

12 6

30 31 25 19

13

mayumi

26 20

27


TANDUAYRHUMPH

YOKOYAMA

PUNZALAN

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

nathalie

HAYASHI

karen

All Time Punch 2 measures Tanduay Superior Rum 3 measures dark cola 2 measures clear cola  Garnish with apple and orange slices.  Add ice cubes.

S E P T E M B E R S

4 M

11 5

T

18 12

6 W

19 13

7 T

1 F

26 20

14 8

2 S

25

21 15

9 3

27 28 22 16

10

29 23

17

30 24


TANDUAYRHUMPH

AMRY

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

nika

MADRID

natalia

Amigos Pinacolada 2 measures Embassy 5 measures coconut cream 2 measures single cream 2 measures simple syrup

 Add cocktail cherries.  Garnish with pineapple wedges.  Add crushed ice.  Blend.

O C T O B E R S

2 M

9 3

T

16 10

4 W

17 11

5 T

23 24 18 12

6 F 1

31 25

19 13

7 S

30

26 20

14 8

27 21

15

28 22

29


TANDUAYRHUMPH

MOON

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

luane

DE LIMA

B oracay Cafe Latte 2 parts Tanduay Select 1 part condensed milk 1/2 gram coffee 3 parts water

 Blend. Add ice.  Top off with whipped cream.

N O V E M B E R S

6 M

13 7

T

1 W

20 14

8 2

T

21

9

F

28 22

16 10

4 S

27

15

3

tootsie

23 17

11 5

29 30 24 18

12

25 19

26


TANDUAYRHUMPH

MADRIGAL

#TANDUAYPARTYSHOTS

asia

GOMEZ

Mindoro Sling 2 parts Tanduay 5 Years 1/2 part lemon juice 1/2 part orange juice 2 parts mango juice

 Fill with clear soda.  Put ice cubes.  Garnish with lemon and orange slices.

D E C E M B E R S

4

11

18

25 yuri

M

5 T

12 6

W

19 13

7 T

1

S

20 14

8 2

F

26

21 15

9 3

27 28 22 16

10

29 23

17

30 24

31


TANDUAYRHUMPH

CHOI

FHM Philippines - December 2015 - Rocky_45 [CPUL].pdf

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