Dwarven Insults

Dwarven Insults Presented by ADnD Downloads

Author’s note I can’t claim any credit for this one; it’s based on Christopher Perkins’ table in his article “Dwarven Etiquette” in Dragon #245. However, I removed all the weaker insults and then loaded my PC group’s most creative cursor with beer and recorded these far more satisfying results below... -

Andrew L, January 2000

The insults… Feel free to use these insults or swear as you wish. To add some randomness, roll a d6 and a d100. Note that insults with an asterisk (*) are exceptionally vile, even for a dwarf, and should be considered as “fighting” talk.

D100/D6

1-2

3-4

5-6

01-04 05-08 09-12 13-16 17-20 21-24 25-28 29-32 33-36 37-40 41-44 45-48 49-52 53-56 57-60 61-64 65-68 69-72 73-76 77-80 81-84 85-88 89-92 93-96 97-00

incompetent stinking perfumed* cantankerous drooling beardless* hidebound gibbering repugnant babbling nitpicking clanless* pompous dangling slothful hideous tentacled warty dainty* witless craftless rickety girly corroded moth-eaten

anvil-dropping lily-livered willow-waisted* cave-slinking pointy-earned* fish-catching toe-biting nib-chewing poetry-reading* rat-eaten porridge-eating ballet-dancing* axe-breaking nose-picking lice-ridden tree-climbing* hanky-waving* adle-pated lantern-lugging elf-kissing* two-faced mucus-oozing beard-shaving* milk-drinking tool-snatching*

halfling's-armpit snotling-fondler* lump of anthracite sissy* goblin/orc/troll-friend* pixie* cave-in troll-barf* thumb-basher gas spore pestie sewer rat crybaby* puke-for-brains rockrunt stench kow bat-dropping smudge-rubber oathbreaker* tunnel worm rust-bucket goblin/orc/troll-spawn* cave gherkin fossil stalactite