Step 1: The writing process for Writing Task 2 Introduction Welcome to Step 1! In this step, we will give you an overview of the process you should follow when writing an IELTS Task 2 essay. We will also focus on how you should organise your time in the test.
Outcomes At the end of Step 1, you will:
know the stages to follow when you write an IELTS Task 2 essay understand how best to manage your time in the test
What is IELTS Writing Task 2?
It is a short essay for an educated reader, for example, a university lecturer or tutor. In the essay, you have to give your opinion and write a clear argument or discussion. You must support your ideas with relevant evidence and examples. Your writing should be in a formal, academic style. You should write at least 250 words and spend no more than 40 minutes on the task.
You have one hour to do both Task 1 and Task 2. We advise you to spend 40 minutes on Task 2 as it is worth more marks than Task 1.
Timeplan for Writing Task 2
Let’s look at a possible timeplan to follow when you do Writing Task 2.
Stage
Stage 1
Suggested time (Total 40 minutes) 3 - 5 minutes
Read and understand the question Stage 2
3 - 5 minutes
Plan what you’re going to write Stage 3
25 minutes
Write your essay Stage 4 Check your writing
Summary
5 minutes
Let’s look at a possible timeplan to follow when you do Writing Task 2.
Stage
Stage 1
Suggested time (Total 40 minutes) 3 - 5 minutes
Read and understand the question Stage 2
3 - 5 minutes
Plan what you’re going to write Stage 3
25 minutes
Write your essay Stage 4 Check your writing
Summary
5 minutes
This brings us to the end of Step 1. In this step, you have learnt about IELTS Writing Task 2. You have also learnt how to manage your time in the test. In Step 2, we will look at the first part of the writing process, that is, analysing the question.
Step 2: Analysing Writing Task 2 questions Introduction Welcome to Step 2! In this step, we will look at the first part of the writing process - th at is, analysing the question you have to write about.
Outcomes At the end of Step 2, you will be able to:
identify the different parts of a Writing Task 2 question analyse Writing Task 2 questions.
Identify the different parts of a Writing Task 2 question The first part of the writing process for Writing Task 2 is to read and understand the question. You should spend three to five minutes on minutes on this. Let’s look at the different parts of a Writing Task 2 question.
Example question You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Suggested
time length
Write about the following topic:
Task requirement
In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
Background information
Specific question
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Task requirements
You should write at least 250 words.
Suggested word length
You can read the following parts of Writing Task 2 questions quickly because this information is always the same.
Suggested time length Task requirement Task requirements Suggested word length.
However, you will need to analyse the following parts of the question closely as they contain the specific information you need to help you write your essay.
Background information Specific question.
We will look at this in more detail later in this step.
Activity - Matching question parts
Match the following parts of the question to the example Task 2 question below. Type the correct letter into the box. The first one has been don e for you as an example.
A word length
D suggested time length
B task requirements
E task requirement
C background information
F specific question
Example question You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Over the past fifty years, interna tional sports events such as the Olympi c Games and world cup compet itions have played an increasi ngly importa nt role in our society. Howeve r, many people think such events are an
D
select...
select...
enormo us waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example s from your own knowled ge or experien ce. You should write at least 250 words.
select...
select...
select...
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
D suggested time length
Write about the following topic:
E task requirement
Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have C background played an increasingly important role in our society. information However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
F specific question B task requirements
You should write at least 250 words.
A word length
Read and understand Writing Task 2 questions We have identified all the different parts of an IELTS Writing Task 2 question. Now let’s focus on the parts of the question you need to read more closely: the background information and the specific question. The background information:
includes the topic of the question. This will be the topic of your essay. usually presents a viewpoint. This is an opinion about the topic.
The specific question:
is the final part of the question. This is what you need to address in your essay.
Let’s look at some example IELTS Task 2 questions to identify the topic, the viewpoint and the specific question.
Example 1 Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?
Topic Viewpoint
Specific question
The topic of this question is international sports events have played an increasingly important role in our society . The Olympics and world cup competitions are examples of international sports events - they are not the topic. The viewpoint of this question is that such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort . This is the opinion presented in the question. The specific question is Do you agree? To write an answer to this question you need to write your opinion of the viewpoint presented. That is , do you agree that international s ports events are an enourmous waste of money, time and effort?
Example 2 Let’s look at another IELTS Writing Task 2 question.
Life has become much more stressful compared to our parents’ generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are on the increase around the world.
Topic
Specific question
Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress? The topic of this question is life has become much more stressful . The specific question is why is stress such a problem and what do you think can be done to overcome this problem? To write an answer to this qu estion you need to write about some of the causes of stress in the modern world and give some solutions to overcome this problem. Note that this question does not present a viewpoint.
Activity - Identifying the topic, viewpoint and specific question
Read each of the following example questions and identify the topic, viewpoint and specific question . The first one has been done for you as an example.
Example question 1 Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
What is the topic of the question?
A Drug control B Drug laws C Drug use The topic is B because it summarises what the question is abou t. The background information discusses different laws relating to different types of drugs. What is the viewpoint of the question?
A Laws for all types of drugs should be the same. B People should be discouraged from smoking and drinking. C What are the most dangerous drugs and how can we stop people using them? The answer is A. The viewpoint of this question states that the law for the sale and use of all drugs should be equal. What is the specific question ?
To answer this question you need to write how much you agree with the viewpoint that laws for all types of drugs should be the same.
Now you try!
Example question 2 In the last decade, there has been an increase in the number and variety of online courses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, others see these courses as less
effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course? Topic
A Opportunities for students B Online courses available to adults C Online education versus classroom teaching Viewpoint
A Online courses are a great opportunity for some, but less effective for others B Online education has risks C Online or face-to-face instruction which method is best? What is the specific question ?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course? To answer this question you need to discuss the positive and negative aspects of online courses for adults.
Example question 3 Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has created difficulties in some major city areas. Describe some of the problems that growth of cities causes and suggest possible solutions. Topic
A Pollution B Problems of increasing population C Population growth in cities Viewpoint
A This growth has created problems. B City life is better than country life. C City development must be limited. What is the specific question ?
Describe some of the problems and suggest some solutions. To answer this question you need to write about some of the problems caused by the growth of cities and suggest some solutions to these problems.
Example question 4 Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Topic
A Acupuncture B The popularity of modern medicine C Traditional medicine Viewpoint
A Traditional medicine is the best type of medical care B Traditional medicine is more effective than modern medicine C Traditional medicine is the most effective way to maintain and improve health What is the specific question ?
Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? To answer this question you need to state whether you agree or disagree with the viewpoint that traditional medicine is better than modern medicine, and give reasons for your opinion.
Example question 5 Universities are becoming increasingly expensive to operate. In some countries, money from taxation has met these costs. However, this is not always enough to maintain the quality of universities. What are some ways universities could be funded in the future?
Topic
A Education B Universities C The funding of universities Viewpoint
A Governments need to provide increased funding to universities B Money from taxation is not enough to maintain quality C Students should be heavily taxed for attending university What is the specific question ?
What are some ways universities could be funded in the future? To answer this question y ou need to suggest ways in which universities could be funded in order to maintain their quality.
Understanding the topic, viewpoint and specific question It is important to identify and understand the topic, viewpoint and specific question clearly because this will influence how you structure your essay. Look at the following three example questions. In each question, the topic is the same but the viewpoint and specific question are different. Therefore, the topic will be the same for each essay, but the structure will be different.
Example question 1 In the future, it may be possible for people to live for 150
Topic
years. This could be good for individuals, but have negative consequences for our world as a whole.
Viewpoint Specific question
What are the benefits and risks of living to 150? In this essay, you need to structure your arguments and ideas to include the advantages anddisadvantages of living to 150, both for individuals and for society.
Example question 2 People are living much longer than before. In the future, it may even be possible for people to live for 150 years. This will create enormous pressures on government services such as health, education and welfare.
Topic Viewpoint Specific question
What problems would governments face and what could be done to deal with a much larger older population? In this essay, you need to structure your arguments and ideas to include the problems and solutions of a much larger older population.
Example question 3 In the future, it may even be possible for people to live for 150 years. This is a largely negative development with dangerous effects on our society.
Topic Viewpoint Specific question
To what extent do you agree with this statement? In this essay, you need to structure your arguments and ideas to show how much you agree with the viewpoint that (the possibility for people to live for 150 years) is a largely negative development with dangerous effects on our society
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 2.
In this step, you have learnt to:
identify the different parts of a typical Writing Task 2 question read and understand Writing Task 2 questions by considering topic, viewpoint and s pecific question.
In Step 3, we will look at how to recognise the different question types in IELTS Writing Task 2.
Step 3: Identifying Writing Task 2 essay types Introduction Welcome to Step 3! In Step 2, we looked at how to read and understand Task 2 essay questions. In Step 3, we will look at Task 2 questions in more detail.
Outcomes At the end of Step 3, you will be able to:
recognise the different question types in IELTS Writing Task 2.
Identifying question types for Writing Task 2 In IELTS Writing Task 2, the specific question indicates that you should write one of the following types of essays:
Problem-Solution Argument Discussion.
Although each type of essay is different, all three require you to give your ideas about an issue and support them with examples and evidence.
In writing your answer to an IELTS Writing Task 2 question, how can you tell whether you need to produce an argument, discussion or problem-solution essay? Let’s consider each essay type in turn.
Problem-Solution A Problem-Solution essay question asks you to focus on a particular problem or issue. It requires you to write about the causes of a problem and suggest possible solutions. The following Task 2 question should be answered with a Problem-Solution essay.
Example 1 Cars have become a conveni ent and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created and offer some practical solutions.
The specific question (Discuss the problems this increase has created and offer some practical solutions.) asks you to discuss some of the problems caused by the overuse of cars, and suggest solutions to overcome these problems. Related to this question type are essay questions that ask you to discuss thecauses and effects of a particular issue. Look at the following example question.
Example 2 During the last century, the use of cars has increased dramatically and today most people use cars as their main form of transport. Discuss some of the causes and effects of this increase in car use.
The specific question (Discuss some of the causes and effects of this increase in car use.) asks you to discuss some of the causes and effects of the dramatic increase in the use of cars during the last century. Sometimes the essay question may be a combination of these two types. Look at the following example.
Example 3 During the last century, the use of cars has increased dramatically. This has caused problems
such as pollution and overcrowded roads. Why do people buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them?
The specific question (Why do people buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them? ) asks you to discuss cars and their negative impact on the environment. You are asked to discuss thecauses (why people buy cars) and give solutions (what can we do) to discourage people from buying cars.
Let's now look at Argument essay questions.
Argument An Argument essay question asks you to give an opinion on an issue and support that opinion throughout the entire essay. In your essay, you may briefly consider the opposite opinion or point of view, but you should strongly and consistently support only one side of an issue. The following question should be answered with an Argument essay.
Example 1 Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?
The specific question (Do you agree? ) asks you to consider international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup com petitions and say if you agree that they are a w aste of money, time and effort.
Example 2 Some Argument essay questions ask how much you agree or disagree with the viewpoint given in the question. You cannot simply answer yes or no to this type of question. Rather, you need to decide if you:
completely agree/disagree partially agree/disagree
with the viewpoint presented in the question.
Every year, large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for social, economic or political reasons. Some people believe that this is one of the biggest problems in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The specific question (To what extent do you agree or disagree? ) asks you how much you agree or disagree with the statement that migration is one of the biggest problems in the world today Let's now look at Discussion essay questions.
Discussion A Discussion essay question asks you to consider an issue from different points of view. After discussing both sides of an issue, you should write a conclusion based on what you think is the most reasonable viewpoint. The following question should be answered with a Discussion essay.
Example 1 In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals, but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
The specific question (What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150? ) asks you to write about both the advantages and disadvantages of living to 150. You should briefly state your personal opinion in the conclusion. Occasionally, the question may ask you to discuss both sides of an issue and then strongly support one side. Look at the following example question.
Example 2 Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which you think is better.
To answer this question, you need to discuss both welfare systems (financial support provided by the government and support provided by families) and decide which one is more effective. At the end of your essay, you should strongly support the system you believe is better.
Activity - Matching essay types
Below are six IELTS Writing Task 2 questions. Look at the specific question for each one and decide which type of essay you would write. Question 1
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
This question requires: a Discussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay Teacher’s comment: This question requires an Argument essay. The question presents a strong statement that supports traditional medicine. In y our answer, you should either agree or disagree with this statement. This approach is typical of an Argument essay.
Now you try! Question 2
In the last decade, there has been a great inc rease in the number and variety of online courses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, other students see these courses as less effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course?
This question requires: a Discussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay
Question 3
Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.
This question requires: a Discussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay
Question 4
Many major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate This has created difficulties in some city areas.
Describe some of the problems that the growth of cities causes and suggest possible solutions.
This question requires: a Discussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay
Question 5
Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?
This question requires: a Discussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay
Question 6
Universities are becoming increasingly expensive to operate. In some countries, money from taxation has met these costs. However, this is not always enough to maintain the quality of universities. How should universities be funded in the future?
a Discussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 3! In this step, you have learnt how to:
recognise the different question types for IELTS Writing Task 2.
In Step 4, we will look at how to plan Task 2 essays.
Step 4: Planning your Writing Task 2 essay Introduction Welcome to Step 4! In Step 3, we looked at question types for IELTS Writing Task 2. In Step 4, we will focus on planning your IELTS essay.
Outcomes At the end of Step 4, you will be able to plan your Task 2 essay by:
getting ideas for your essay (brainstorming) grouping your ideas providing examples to support your ideas ranking your ideas.
The importance of planning
IELTS examiners will be looking to see that your essay:
has relevant ideas uses these ideas to develop your viewpoint on an issue.
Some students find the planning stage the most difficult part of the IELTS W riting test because it is difficult to think of good ideas in a short tim e. To help you with this, let’s look at the first stage of the planning process - brainstorming.
Brainstorming Brainstorming is when you quickly write or think of a number of interesting and relevant ideas that are connected with the topic and that will help you to answer the essay question. You may also wish to include examples to support your ideas.
Let’s read what one learner, Anthony, said about t he importance of brainstorming.
When I first looked at the IELTS Task 2 essay question, I thought‘How could I write 250 words on this subject?’ Brainstorming helped me to think of some ideas on the topic before I started writing.
Let’s look at an example of brainstorming. Read the following Discussion essay question and then the ideas Anthony brainstormed to help him answer this question.
Discussion essay question In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals, but may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people livin g to 150?
This question asks you to write about both the benefits and risks of living to 150. Therefore, your brainstorm should inclu de ideas about both benefits and risks. Here are the ideas Anthony brainstormed for this question.
Benefits
experience more in your life, see more things more time to be successful e.g. business people more time with the people we love gain more knowledge/experience to produce better work watch our children grow up scientists, doctors, musicians could be more effective plenty of time to relax and enjoy life
Risks
later years may be unhealthy body organs unable to deal with extreme age physical appearance will deteriorate not enough natural resources diseases of older people can be painful e.g .arthritis social welfare system may break down water shortages
This brainstorm includes a nu mber of interesting and relevant ideas (both benefits and risks) for this essay question. We can see that after writing his ideas, Anthony dec ided to cross one idea out ( physical appearance will deteriorate) because although this was a disadvantage of living to 150, it was not a risk, and therefore irrelevant to the essay question. However, despite Anthony’s great ideas, his brainstorm is disorganised. He must now move on to the second stage of the planning process - organising his ideas into groups.
Grouping your ideas In this stage, you should decide which of your ideas can be connected together and then you should reorganise those ideas into different groups. You may also decide to cross out one or two ideas that do not fit into any of these groups, or that are not as important as the other ideas you have brainstormed. Let’s look at how Anthony has done this.
Benefits
experience more in your life, see more things more time to be successful e.g. business people more time with the people we love
gain more knowledge/experience to produce better work watch our children grow up scientists, doctors, musicians could be more effective plenty of time to relax and enjoy life
Risks
later years may be unhealthy body organs unable to deal with extreme age physical appearance will deteriorate not enough natural resources diseases of older people can be painful e.g .arthritis social welfare system may break down water shortages
Benefits
job/career benefits more time to achieve success e.g. e.g. business business people o gain more knowledge/experience to produce better o work o scientists, doctors, musicians could be more effective personal benefits experience more, see more things o o have more time with the people we love o watch our children grow up o plenty of time to relax and enjoy life
Risks
risks to society water shortages o social welfare system may break down o o not enough natural resources health risks o later years may be unhealthy diseases of older people can be painful e.g. arthritis o body organs unable to deal with extreme age o physical appearance will deteriorate o
Notice that Anthony has also given each group of ideas a heading heading.. This will help him to identify and write about each of these groups in his essay. Anthony also decided that one of his ideas relating to personal benefits (plenty of time to relax and enjoy life) was not really important so he has crossed it out.
Now that Anthony has grouped his ideas, he needs to make sure that he has enough examples. So far, Anthony has only given two two examples. examples. In order to support his ideas more effectively, Anthony needs to think of a few more.
Providing examples It is not necessary to provide examples to support every idea that you have brainstormed. You will find it relatively easy to think of examples for some of y our ideas, while other ideas may not be suited to this. However, you should make sure that you inc lude a few strong examples in your essay. It is possible that some of the ideas you have brainstormed could be used as examples . However, you may also need to include additional examples. examples . Let’s look at how Anthony has used some of the ideas in h is brainstorm as examples and where he has added extra examples. Click on the button below to see Anthony's original brainstorm.
Benefits
job/career benefits more time to be successful e.g. e.g. business business people o gain more knowledge/expereince to produce better work o o scientists, doctors, musicians could be more effective personal benefits o experience more in your life, see more things have more time with the people we love o watch our children grow up o plenty of time to relax and enjoy life o
Risks
risks to society o water shortages o social welfare system may break down not enough natural resources o health risks o later years may be unhealthy o diseases of older people can be painful e.g .arthritis o body organs unable to deal with extreme age o physical appearance will deteriorate
Benefits
job/career benefits o have more time to achieve success e.g. business people o gain more knowledge/experience to produce better work e.g. scientists, doctors, musicians personal benefits o experience more, see more things o have more time with the people we love e.g. watch our children grow up
Risks
risks to society o social welfare system may break down e.g. Japan not enough natural resources e.g. water o health risks o later years may be unhealthy e.g. body organs unable to deal with extreme age o diseases of older people can be painful e.g. arthritis
We can see that some of the ideas in Anthony’s original brainstorm have been u sed as examples to support the other ideas. He has also added one new example (e.g. Japan Japan). ).
Ranking your ideas After you have organised your ideas into groups, you need to rank rank them. them. Ranking means putting these groups of ideas in order. One common method is to put them in order of importance. importance . This means ranking each group, starting with the one you think is the most important or has the strongest argument, until you get to the least important or weakest group of ideas. This method is useful because during the test you may decide not to write about the least i mportant ideas if you are running out of t ime. Let’s look at how Anthony has ranked his groups of ideas. Note Note that that he has simply written a number next to each group to show the order in which he will present them in his essay. If you want to see his ideas again, click on the button below.
Benefits
job/career benefits more time to achieve success e.g. business people o gain more knowledge/experience to produce better work e.g. o scientists, doctors, musicians personal benefits experience more, see more things o
o
more time with the people we love e.g. watch our children grow up
Risks
risks to society o social welfare system may break down e.g. Japan o not enough natural resources e.g. water shortages health risks later years may be unhealthy e.g. body organs unable to deal with extreme o age o diseases of older people can be painful e.g. arthritis
Benefits 2. benefits to jobs and careers o have more time to achieve success e.g. business people gain more knowledge/experience to produce better o work e.g. scientists, doctors, musicians 1. personal benefits experience more, see more things o have more time with the people we love e.g. o watch our children grow up
Risks 4. risks to society social welfare system may break down e.g. Japan o not enough natural resources e.g. water o 3. health risks later years may be unhealthy e.g. o body organs unable to deal with extreme age diseases of older people can be painful e.g. arthritis o
We can see that in Anthony’s opinion, the personal benefits of living to 150 are more important than benefits to people’s jobs and careers. Anthony has also decided to present health risks before risks to society as he feels his examples for health risks are stronger. Remember that the way in which you rank your groups of ideas can depend on:
the strength of your examples which support your ideas your personal opinion.
Where do I write my essay plan? Because you cannot bring your own paper into the exam room, you should write your plan on the IELTS Question Paper. However, some students prefer to plan in their heads. So far, we have looked at the ideas in Anthony’s plan in detail. However, during the IELTS test, Anthony will not have enough time to include this amount of information when he writes his plan. Below is an example of a basic outline of Anthony’s plan. It uses the same ideas but shows less detail.
Benefits 2. careers o time to achieve success e.g. business people o can gain more experience e.g. scientists, doctors, musicians 1. personal o experience/see more o more time with family e.g. watch our children grow up
Risks 4. society o social welfare break down e.g. Japan o natural resources e.g. water 3. health o o
unhealthy old age e.g. failure of body organs suffering painful diseases e.g. arthritis
If you want to compare this to the detailed plan click here. Anthony has now finished planning his Task 2 essay. Let’s look at how Anthony used his plan to write his essay.
Using a plan to write a Discussion essay Let's see how Anthony used his plan to write his essay. First, read the Task 2 essay question again.
Discussion essay question In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our world as a whole. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
Now compare Anthony's plan with the essay he wrote in the IELTS test. Click here to see the plan again.
Anthony's Essay To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it might be possible for people to live for one hundred and fifty years in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so. (Introduction) Undoubtedly, there are some major advantages for living a longer life. Firstly, people could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, su ch as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even watch their children grow to old age. (Personal benefits) In addition, people could contribute more if they lived longer lives, especially scientists and other valuable members of society. For example, if Edison had lived longer, he might hav e invented more things for us or Mozart might have produced more wonderful music. (Benefits to jobs and careers) Nevertheless, there could be many disadvantages if people lived for one hundred and fifty years. Firstly, people might be unhealthy in their later years because their body organs are unable to deal with extreme age. Additionally, mo re people may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. (Health risks) Another factor is that an increasing older population would cause many problems for society. For example, it would place a lot of pressure on the social welfare system, a situation already developing in countries.(Risks to society) In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore, this development would be a largely negative one for our society. (Conclusion)
Now that we have looked at planning a Task 2 Discussion essay, let’s practise what we have learnt with a different essay type - Argument essays.
Planning an Argument essay Look at the following essay question that Jane is given in the test.
Argument essay question Teenage offenders should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. Do you agree?
Planning an Argument essay is similar to planning other Task 2 essays. However, you will need to decide if you agree or disagree with the viewpoint presented in the question. You may find this difficult to decide and in the end, the viewpoin t you present in your essay may depend on the number and quality of ideas you can think of when you plan your essay. Jane has just finished reading this question and is not sure which viewpoint she will write about. She has quickly thought of some ideas for both viewpoints to see which viewpoint has the strongest ideas. Look at the ideas that Jane brainstormed. Which viewpoint would Jane decide to write about?
Agree:
all criminals should be punished same result of crime whether committed by an adult or child there has been an increase in numbers of young criminals easier/cheaper for the legal system to treat all criminals equally better protection for society by sending criminals to jail
Disagree:
teenage offenders often under pressure often influenced by drugs/alcohol pressure from parents/school teenagers don’t always think about their actions & the consequences we should help teenage criminals to understand the effects of wrong behaviour many negative influences in life violent computer games give teenagers lesser punishment teenagers not as smart as adults community service give rehabilitation negative effects of jail may damage their future
By looking at Jane's brainstorm, we can see that she was able to think of more ideas that disagree with the viewpoint in the question. For this reason, Jane has decided to use these
ideas to disagree with the viewpoint that teenage criminals should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. It is possible that Jane may not believe in or like the viewpoint she is go ing to present in her essay (i.e. it may not be her personal opinion). However, she has choosen this viewpoint because she has more ideas and this will make it easier for her to write her Task 2 answer. Note that you will not always need to brainstorm ideas for both s ides of an Argument essay. This method is only useful if you are unsure of which viewpoint to present in your essay.
Activity - Organising ideas into groups
Now that Jane has brainstormed a number of interesting and relevant ideas to help her answer the essay question, let’s use her ideas to practise organising ideas into groups. First, look at the Argument essay question again.
Argument essay question
Teenage offenders should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. Do you agree? Now look at Jane’s ‘disagree’ brainstorm. You will notice that her ideas c an be grouped into two major arguments to s upport her viewpoint. One argument is that there are reasons w hy teenagers have become criminals. Therefore, some of her ideasdefend teenage criminals. The other argument is that there are better ways to deal with teenagers. Therefore, some of her ideas support alternative punishment for teenagers. Organise her ideas into these groups. The first one has been done for you as an example. You will find 7 ideas that defend teenage criminals and 5 ideas that support alternative punishment.
Jane's ideas to support her viewpoint 1.
teenage offenders often under pressure
2.
often influenced by drugs/alcohol
3.
pressure from parents/school.
4.
teenagers don’t always
Defending Alternative teenage punishment criminals
think about their actions & the consequences 5.
we should help teenage criminals to understand the effects of wrong behaviour
6.
many negative influences in life
7.
violent computer games
8.
give teenagers lesser punishment
9.
teenagers not as smart as adults
10.
community service
11.
give rehabilitation
12.
negative effects of jail may damage their future
Now that we have organised Jane’s ideas into two groups, let’s practise the next stage of planning her Task 2 essay - providing examples to support her ideas .
Activity - Providing examples
Look at Jane’s first group of ideas again - Defending teenage criminals. Decide whether any of her brainstormed ideas:
could be used as examples could be supported with new examples are not as important or are irrelevant to the essay question.
Defending teenage criminals
many negative influences in life teenage offenders often under pressure often influenced by drugs/alcohol pressure from parents/school. teenagers don’t always think about their actions and the consequences violent computer games
teenagers not as smart as adults
Now compare your examples with Jane’s.
Defending teenage criminals
many negative influences in life e.g. drugs/alcohol/violent computer games teenage offenders often under pressure e.g. from parents/school teenagers don’t always think about their actions and the consequences teenagers not as smart as adults
Feedback: In this example, you can see that Jane was able to use some of the points in the brainstorm to support her other ideas. Jane has also crossed out the last idea because it didn’t fit in with the other ideas in the group.
Now look at Jane’s second group of ideas – Alternative punishment for teenagers. Decide whether any of her brainstormed ideas:
could be used as examples could be supported with new examples are not as important or are irrelevant to the essay question.
Alternative punishment for teenagers
negative effects of jail may damage their future give lesser punishment should give teenagers a chance to understand the effects of wrong behaviour community service give rehabilitation
Now compare your examples with Jane’s.
Alternative punishment for teenagers
negative effects of jail may damage their future e.g. may return to crime if unable to find a job give teenagers lesser punishment e.g. community service we should help teenage criminals to understand the effects of wrong behaviour e.g. give rehabilitation
Feedback: In this example, you can see that Jane was able to use some of the points in the brainstorm to support her other ideas. She has also added a new example ( may return to crime if unable to find a job) to support the first idea in this group.
Jane now has two groups of ideas that disagree with the viewpoint in the essay question. She has decided to leave these two groups in the s ame order and will therefore first write about defending teenage criminals, followed by her ideas on alternative punishment for teenagers. So far we have looked at Jane’s plan i n detail. Below is a basic ou tline of this plan. This is what Jane would actually write in the p lanning stage during the test. It uses the same ideas but shows less detail.
Defending teenage criminals
negative influences e.g. drugs, alcohol, computer games under pressure e.g. parents, school don’t think about their actions/consequences.
Alternative punishment
jail harms their future e.g. return to crime after jail lesser punishment e.g. community service help them understand wrong behaviour e.g. rehabilitation
Using a plan to write an Argument essay Now read the following Argument essay that J ane wrote using this essay plan. Here is the essay question again.
Argument essay question Teenage offenders should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. Do you agree?
Now compare Jane's plan with the essay she wrote. Click here to see the plan again.
Jane’s essay The teenage years can be a wonderful yet difficult time in the lives of young people. Those teenagers who break the law during their teenage years need to be treated differently due to their age. This essay will argue for special treatment of teenage offenders. (Introduction) The most important consideration is that teenagers are young people with their entire lives before them. Therefore, they need to be treated differently to adult offenders, who may have been criminals for some time. Crimes committed by teenagers may not have been intentional and may have resulted from negative influences, such as poor parenting, drugs and alcohol or even from watching violent video games. Additionally, young people may be under enormous pressure to do well at school. As a result, many teenagers are stressed and may commit c rimes without thinking fully about their actions or the consequences. (Defending teenage criminals) Finally, any harsh punishment such as sending teenage criminals to jail, could damage their future opportunities. For example, if they are unable to find w ork once they have left jail, they may return to a life of crime to survive. Therefore, we should give them the chance to understand the effects of their wrong behaviour by treating them with lesser punishment such as community service or rehabilitation classes to learn more about right and wrong behaviour. (Alternative punishment) In conclusion, I strongly believe that we should treat teenage offenders differently from adult criminals. By doing this we can ensure that they do not remain criminals for life.(Conclusion)
Activity - Planning for Task 2 essays
Now that you have learnt and practised the different stages of planning a Task 2 essay, let’s practise writing a complete plan for:
a Disscussion essay an Argument essay a Problem-Solution essay.
Below are three example IELTS essay questions. Write a plan for each one by brainstorming, grouping, providing examples and ranking. Remember that planning your essay in the IELTS test should take no more than five minutes. To save time, you may wish to:
practise brainstorming by thinking of ideas in your head organise your ideas into groups before you write them down only write a basic outline of your plan.
Remember to spend no more than five minutes on planning each essay. Write your ideas and plan on a piece of paper.
Discussion essay question The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. Discuss. Write your ideas and plan on a piece of paper. When you have finished, click on the Check button to compare your plan with our example. It does not matter if your plan is different to ours. The most important thing is that you have a number of good quality and well-organised ideas. Advantages
machines can do difficult and dangerous work e.g. car assembly factories can help scientists by processing data very quickly help to develop modern technology e.g. people can now go to the moon make our lives easier e.g. people can go shopping/book tickets without leaving their house
Disadvantages
computers used to steal personal information e.g. bank account details material can’t be controlled on the Internet e.g. pornography less jobs available - more computers used in factories, therefore less workers needed
Our brainstormed ideas have been ranked in order of importance. However, remember that ranking depends on your personal choice. Below is a basic outline of this plan.
Advantages
can do difficult and dangerous work e.g. build cars processing data quickly assist modern technology e.g. travel to the moon easier life e.g. internet for shopping, buying tickets
Disadvantages
easy to steal personal information e.g. bank account numbers no control e.g. pornography take jobs away from people
Argument essay question Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint? Write your ideas and plan on a piece of paper. When you have finished, click on the check button to compare your plan with our example. It does not matter if your plan is different to ours. The most important thing is that you have a number of good quality and well-organised ideas. Our example plan for AGREE. AGREE
traditional medicine uses natural products e.g. herbs and other plants - modern medicine uses artificial drugs traditional medicine looks at mind and body e.g. lifestyle and overall health - modern medicine only cures diseases traditional medicine used for thousands of years e.g. in China - modern medicine still recent and long-term effects are unknown
Below is a basic outline of this plan. Agree
TM - natural e.g. herbs & other plants MM - artificial drugs
TM - treats mind/body e.g. lifestyle, overall health MM - only cures diseases TM - thousands of years e.g. China MM - recent, long-term effects unknown
Our example plan for DISAGREE . DISAGREE
Modern medicine is fast and effective e.g. drugs are designed to treat the problem immediately - traditional medicine is slow and does not work for everyone Modern medicine is constantly being developed and improved e.g. research to find a cure for cancer or AIDS - traditional medicine only uses old knowledge and techniques Modern medicine strictly controlled to ensure high standards/quality - traditional medicine does not e.g. recent media reports that some herbal medicine is ineffective
Our brainstormed ideas have been ranked in order of importance. However, remember that ranking depends on your personal choice. Below is a basic outline of this plan. Disagree
MM - fast, effective e.g. drugs work immediately TM - slow, unreliable e.g. doesn’t work for everybody MM - constant developments, improvements e.g. Cancer/AIDS research TM - uses only old knowledge MM - high standards, quality TM - doubts about quality e.g. media reports about ineffective herbal medicine
Problem-Solution essay question People are living much longer than before. In the future, it may even be possible for people to live to 150 years old. However, this could put enormous strain on our society. Discuss some of the problems that living to 150 may cause and suggest possible solutions to overcome them.
Write your ideas and plan on a piece of paper. When you have finished, click on the check button to compare your plan with our example. It does not matter if your plan is different to ours. The most important thing is that you have a number of good quality and well-organised ideas. Problems
Welfare services may be under pressure e.g. unable to pay pensions to older people Older people are often overlooked by governments Lack of medical services Older people’s minds need to be kept active
Solutions
Increase retirement age e.g. require older people to work longer so that they continue to pay tax Create government departments that deal with issues faced by older people Build more hospitals that deal with health problems of older people Build universities to meet the needs of older people
Our brainstormed ideas have been ranked in order of importance. However, remember that ranking depends on your personal choice. Below is a basic outline of this plan. Problems
welfare services e.g. cannot pay pensions governments overlooked older people lack of medical resources keeping mentally active
Solutions
Increase retirement age so older people still pay tax government departments to help older people more hospitals universities for older people
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 4. In this step, you have learnt how to plan for your Task 2 essay by:
getting ideas for your essay (brainstorming) grouping your ideas providing examples to support your ideas ranking your ideas
In Step 5, we will continue with the writing process for your IELTS Writing Task 2 essay. We will focus on how to use your plan to write a Task 2 essay.
Step 5: Structuring your Writing Task 2 essay Introduction Welcome to Step 5! In Step 4, we looked at brainstorming for ideas and planning an answer for IELTS Writing Task 2. In Step 5, we will consider the overall structure of the three different essay types you may need to write for Task 2.
Outcomes At the end of this step, you will be able to:
plan an overall structure for different essay types structure your ideas into an essay.
Overview - IELTS essay structure In general, an essay has three parts. These are the:
introduction body conclusion.
Your essay for IELTS Writing Task 2 should contain these three parts. Each part should be clearly divided into separate paragraphs. The body of your essay should be around 80% o f your content, while your introduction and conclusion should take around 10% each. In this step, we will mainly focus on the structure of the body of an essay. We will look at how to write anintroduction in Step 6 and how to write a conclusion in Step 8. The structure of the body is different depending on the type of essay you are writing. In this step, we will look at alternative structures for each essay type: Discussion, Argument and Problem - Solution.
Let's start by looking at the structure of Discussion essays.
Structure of Discussion essays We are going to look at two different ways of structuring the body of a Discussion essay. Both structures are suitable for an IELTS Task 2 essay. The one you decide to use will depend on your ideas and the topic of the essay. First, let's look at a typical structure of a Discussion essay. It includes:
Introduction
You should introduce the topic. You may also state your viewpoint on this topic.
Body
You should discuss both sides of the issue. Often the first one or two paragraphs will discuss one side of an issue and the next one or two paragraphs will discuss the other side of the issue. The positive aspects of the issue are called the pros and the negative aspects thecons.
Conclusion
You should provide a summary of the discussion and state your viewpoint on the issue.
You can plan the overall structure of this essay type in the following way: Introduction + Body paragraph 1 PROS + Body paragraph 2 CONS + conclusion Let's look at an example Discussion essay that uses this structure.
Example question
In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
Sample answer - Jurgen’s essay Click here to see how Jurgen used the ideas from his plan to structure his essay.
To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it might be possible for people to live for one hundred and fifty years in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so. (Introduction) Undoubtedly, there are some major advantages for living a longer life. Firstly, people could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, such as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even watch their children grow to old age. In addition, people could contribute more if they lived longer lives, especially scientists and other valuable members of society. For example, if Edison had lived longer, he might have invented more things for us, or Mozart might have produced more wonderful music. (Pros) Nevertheless, there could be many disadvantages if people lived for one hundred and fifty years. Firstly, people might be unhealthy in their later years and may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. Additionally, there may be ethical questions involved. Will everyone be able to live for this long – or only the citizens of developed countries? Another factor is that an increasing older population would cause many problems for society. For example, it would place a lot of pressure on the social welfare system – a situation already developing in countries such as Japan. Finally, the overpopulation of the earth could greatly damage the earth’s ecosystem and could lead to ecological disaster.(Cons) In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore, this development would be a largely negative one for our society. (Conclusion)
Quick quiz Are there more pros or cons in this essay? Click on the correct answer.
There are more pros There are more cons
Language focus - Signpost words to order information Discussion essays often use signpost words to order information. These words let your reader know that you are going to present your i nformation in a certain order. Below are so me examples of frequently used signpost words to order information.
Firstly In addition / Additionally For example
Another factor Finally In conclusion / In summary
Look at Jurgen’s Discussion essay again to see how he has used signpost words to order his ideas. These signpost words have been highlighted for you.
To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it might be possible for people to live for two hundred years in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so. (Introduction) Undoubtedly, there are some major advantages for liv ing a longer life.Firstly, people could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, such as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even watch their children grow to old age. In addition, people could contribute more if they lived longer lives, especially scientists and other valuable members of society. For example, if Edison had lived longer, he might have invented more things for us or Mozart might have produced more wonderful music. (Pros) Nevertheless, there could be many disadvantages if people lived for two hundred years.Firstly, people might be unhealthy in their later years and may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. Additionally, there may be ethical questions involved. Will everyone be able to live for two hundred years – or only the citizens of developed countries? Another factor is that an increasing older population would cause many problems for society. For example, it would place a lot of pressure on the social welfare system – a situation already developing in countries such as Japan. Finally, the overpopulation of the earth could greatly damage the earth’s ecosystem and could lead to ecological disaster. (Cons) In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for two hundred years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore, this development would be a largely negative one for our society. (Conclusion)
Alternative structure of a Discussion essay An alternative structure for the body of a Discuss ion essay is one that discusses both sides of an issue in the same paragraph. Therefore, instead of separating the pros and co ns into different paragraphs, you write about the pros and cons of a particular idea in the same paragraph. You can use this structure if you can make connections between the ideas you have brainstormed and grouped. You can plan the overall structure of this essay type in the following way: Introduction + Body paragraph 1 PROS + CONS + Body paragraph 2 PROS + CONS + conclusion Note that when you use this your essay may contain more than 2 body paragraphs. Let’s look at an example Discussion essay that uses this structure.
Example question In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good news for individuals but it may have negative consequences for our society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
Click here to see how Jurgen used the ideas from his plan to structure his essay. Note that his ideas are the same as in the previous essay but the structure is different.
Jurgen’s essay To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it might be possible for people to live for one hundred and fifty years in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so. (Introduction) Undoubtedly, there are some advantages for living a longer life. People could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, such as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time w ith their family and even watch their children grow to old age. (Pros) However, we must also c onsider that these people may not be able to enjoy their longer lives due to i ll health and may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. (Cons) People could contribute more to society if they lived longer lives, although we have to remember that this is not automatically the cas e. For example, Mozart could have produced more wonderful music if he had lived longer, (Pros) but he might also have produced some musical disasters as well. (Cons) An increasing older population could provide great benefits to society by making available highly skilled workers for a much longer time. This would strengthen the economy as people would be able to delay their retirement and work longer. (Pros) On the other hand, it would cause many problems for society. It would place a lot of pressure on the social welfare system – a situation already developing in countries such as Japan.(Cons) In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore, this development wou ld be a largely negative one for our society. (Conclusion)
Language focus - Signpost words to contrast information Discussion essays - especially those using the alternative structure we have just looked at, often usesignpost words to contrast information. This type of signpost word lets the reader know that you are going to present a different contrasting opinion. Below are some examples of frequently used signpost words to contrast information.
However But
Although On the other hand
Look at Jurgen’s Discussion essay again to see how he has used signpost words to present contrasting ideas. These signpost words have been highlighted for you.
To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development of science and technology, it might be possible for people to live for one hundred and fifty years in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so.(Introduction) Undoubtedly, there are some advantages for living a longer life. People could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, such as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even watch their children grow to old age. (Pros) However, we must also consider that these people may not be able to enjoy their lo nger lives due to ill health and may suffer from painful diseases such as arthritis. (Cons) People could contribute more to society if they lived longer lives, although we have to remember that this is not automatically the cas e. For example, Mozart could have produced more wonderful music if he had lived longer, (Pros) but he might also have produced some musical disasters as well. (Cons) An increasing older population cou ld also provide great benefits to society by making available highly skilled workers for a much longer time. This would strengthen the economy as people would be able to delay their retirement and work longer. (Pros) On the other hand, it would cause many problems for society. It would place a lot of pressure on the social welfare system – a situation already developing in countries such as Japan. (Cons) In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore, this development wou ld be a largely negative one for our society. (Conclusion)
Let’s read what an examiner said about marking IELTS essays.
Examiner testimonial: Rohan’s view “It’s annoying when you mark an essay that has a good structure but has poorly developed ideas. I really think candidates should spend more time thinking of good ideas and examples and then ex pressing those ideas in a c lear way, rather than trying to write a complicated structure that really doesn't make their essay successful.”
Structure of Argument essays To write an Argument essay you must first decide if you agree or disagree with the viewpoint in the question. In your essay, you must then present arguments that clearly support your viewpoint. Let's look at two different ways of structuring the body of an Argument essay. First, let's look at a typical structure of an Argument essay. It includes:
Introduction Body
Conclusion
This is similar to a Discussion essay. You should introduce the topic and give your viewpoint on the issue. You should provide 2 or 3 arguments with examples and evidence that support your viewpoint. You should write a summary of your argument and strongly restate your viewpoint.
Note that you may wish to briefly include 1 or 2 ideas that oppose your viewpoint. This shows the examiner that you are aware of an opposing argument. Nevertheless, the majority of your essay must present ideas that strongly su pport your viewpoint. Let’s look at an example Argument essay that uses this structure.
Example question In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This is a largely negative development with dangerous effects on our society. Do you agree with this viewpoint?
Click here to see how Jin Tao used the ideas from his plan to structure his essay.
Jin Tao’s essay To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. Yet if science delivers this development to humankind, it could prove to be a disaster for life on earth. This ess ay will argue that living a lon ger life is a negative development for both individuals and for society as a whole.(Introduction) Those people who support the idea of liv ing a longer life argue that there are significant advantages such as mor e time for a quality lifestyle and for achieving personal goals.(Argument against Jin Tao’s viewpoint) However, in my view there are other more important issues such as poor quality of life due to ill health and limited world resources, which need to be considered. (Argument to support Jin Tao’s viewpoint) For individual quality of life, living for one hundred and fifty years might be more of aliability than an advantage. If people lived to an extreme age, their body organs could start to deteriorate and they may feel unhealthy for many years. They may also have to live with long periods of illness such as arthritis, which is common among older people.(Arguments to support Jin Tao’s viewpoint) From a more practical point of view, problems could occur when increasing numbers of older people begin to rely on the welfare system. We have already seen a preview of this happening in Japan, where a small number of young people have to pay more and more tax to support an increasing older population. In addition, there could be a serious decline in world resourc es if people lived longer. As it is, there is barely enough water for the present population of the world. (Arguments to support Jin
Tao’s viewpoint) Therefore, I strongly agree with the statement that living for one hundred and fifty years would be a negative and dangerous developmen t for both individuals and for our planet.(Conclusion)
Note that in the first body paragraph, Jin Tao has briefly mentioned 2 positive aspects of living a longer life (more time for a quality lifestyle and achieving personal goals). These ideas oppose his viewpoint. However, in the rest of his essay, Jin Tao strongly supports his viewpoint (... that living a longer life is a negative development for both individuals and for society as a whole. ).
Activity - Recognising different viewpoints
The following extracts are from Jin Tao's Argument essay that you have just read. Read the essay question again and then decide if each extract is FOR (agrees with) or AGAINST(disagrees with) the viewpoint presented in the question. The first one has been done for you as an example.
In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This is a largely negative development with dangerous effects on our society. Do you agree with this viewpoint?
Those people who support the idea of liv ing a longer life argue that there are significant advantages such as more time for a quality lifestyle and to achieving personal goals.
This extract is
FOR /
AGAINST the viewpoint presented in the question.
However, in my view there are other more imp ortant issues such as poor quality of life due to ill health and limited world resources which need to be considered.
This extract is
FOR /
AGAINST the viewpoint presented in the question.
For individual quality of life, living for one hundred and fifty years might be more of a liability than an advantage. If people lived to an extreme age, their body organs could start to deteriorate and they may feel unhealthy for many years. They may also have to live with
long periods of illness such as arthritis, which is common among older people.
This extract is
FOR /
AGAINST the viewpoint presented in the question.
From a more practical point of view, problems could occur when increasing numbers of older people begin to rely on the welfare system. We have already seen a preview of this happening in Japan, where a small number of young people have to pay more and more tax to support an increasing older population.
This extract is
FOR /
AGAINST the viewpoint presented in the question.
In addition, there could be a seriou s decline in world resources if people l ived longer. As it is, there is barely enough water for the present population of the world.
This extract is
FOR /
AGAINST the viewpoint presented in the question.
Activity - Writing an argument
Now, lets practise writing the body of an Argument essay. Using your WebCT Take Notes tool brainstorm ideas for the following question using the headings ‘for’ and ‘against’. (Go to Take No tes in the Action Menu. Then click on Add. Type in your notes, then press Update to keep a record.) When you have finished brainstorming, decide if you agree or disagree with the viewpoint in the question. Then use your ideas to write the body of an Argument essay that supports your viewpoint. You should write two or three body paragraphs. Structure your ideas in an appropriate way for an Argument essay and use signpost words to order and/or contrast your ideas.
Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
When you have finished, compare your answer with our sample answer.
Alternative structure of an Argument essay
An alternative structure for an Argument essay is one that presents your viewpoint and the opposing viewpoint in the same paragraph. This is similar to the alternative structure of a Discussion essay we looked at in the previous section. Let’s look at an example Argument essay that uses this structure.
Example question Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
Click here to see how Esperanza used the ideas from her plan to structure her essay.
Esperanza’s essay Since its invention, the Internet has affected the way people communicate. Some argue that its influence on the way we communicate is largely negative. However, I believe that the Internet has greatly increased the possibilities for interaction. (Introduction) Some people say that even though so much information is available through the Internet, nobody is really processing all this information. (Argument AGAINST) Nevertheless, everyone would have to agree that the Internet appears to make communication between people much easier. In the past, it was difficult to find out information about organisations and current events. However, in modern society most professional organisations have their own websites and events are constantly updated on the Internet. This has meant that receiving information has become a lot easier.(Argument FOR) Before the Internet age, the only way people coul d communicate in writing with others was by writing and sending letters. Now , with the invention of in ternet-based email, communication is fast and cheap. Taking advantage of this development means that people can keep in touch on a more regular basis. (Argument FOR) Although this has meant that users n ow spend long periods of time in fron t of their computer screens and may not be involved in as much spoken communication as before, (Argument AGAINST) I would argue that the Internet has actually increased the amount of communication between people – it is only that the means of communication has changed from more spoken language to written communication. (Argument FOR) In summary, it can be seen that the Internet has had a positive effect, giving people the opportunity to communicate more easily and frequently with others. (Conclusion)
Note that in the body of her essay, Esperanza presents arguments that are both FOR and AGAINST her viewpoint, so that in each paragraph there are contrasting arguments. However, it is always c lear to the examiner that Esperanza strongly agrees with the viewpoint 'that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another'.
Language focus - signpost words to contrast information and show time order Note how Esperanza uses signpost words to contrast information. This is particularly effective in Argument essays that use this alternative structure. She also uses time words to show time order. Some examples of time words include:
Before In the past Previously
Today In modern society Currently
In the future In coming years In the next (20) years
Read Esperanza's essay again to see how she has contasted information and shown order of time. These words have been highlighted for you.
Esperanza’s essay Since its invention, the Internet has affected the way people communicate. Some argue that its influence on the way we communicate is largely negative. However, I believe that the Internet has greatly increased the possibilities for interaction. Some people say that even though so much information is available through the Internet, nobody is really processing all this information. Nevertheless, everyone would have to agree that the Internet appears to make c ommunication between people much easier. In the past, it was difficult to find out information about organisations and current events. However, in modern society most professional organisations have their own websites and events are constantly updated on the Internet. This has meant that receiving information has become a lot easier. Before the Internet age, the only way people could communicate in writing with others was by writing and sending letters. N ow, with the invention o f internet-based email, communication is fast and cheap. Taking advantage of this development means that people can keep in touch on a more regular basis. Although this has meant that usersnow spend long periods of time in front of their computer screens and may not be involved in as much spoken communication as before, I would argue that the Internet has actually increased the amount of communication between people – it is only that the means of communication has changed from more spoken language to written communication. In summary, it can be seen that the Internet has had a positive effect, giving people the opportunity to communicate more easily and frequently with others.
Structure of Problem-Solution essays Now, let's look at two different ways of structuring the body of a Problem-Solution essay. Remember, the structure you decide to use will depend on your ideas and the topic of the essay. First, let's look at a typical structure of a Problem-Solution essay. It includes:
Introduction
Body
Conclusion
You should identify the problem presented in the essay question and show how the essay will deal with the problem and possible solutions. In the first one or two paragraphs, you should discuss the problem or part of the problem presented in the question. In the following one or two paragraphs, you should present solutions to the problem. It is possible to have more problems than solutions or more solutions than problems. You should provide an overview of the problem and then summarise the solutions.
Using this structure, you can plan the overall structure in the following way: Introduction + Body paragraph 1 PROBLEMS + Body paragraph 2 SOLUTIONS + conclusion Let’s look at an example Problem-Solution essay that uses this structure.
Problem-Solution essay question People are living much longer than before. In the future, it may even be possible for people to live to 150 years old. This will create enormous pressures on government services such as health, education and welfare. What can governments do to deal with a much larger older population?
Click here to see how Maria used the ideas from her plan to structure her essay.
Maria’s essay To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. However, if this dream becomes a reality the government cou ld face many problems in providing basic services. This essay will look at this problem and suggest how governments can manage a much larger population of older people in the future. (Introduction) The reality of people living longer is already with us in countries such as Japan. The Japanese live longer than any race on earth and already this is cau sing problems because it usually is left to the government to support older people after they retire from work. If people lived for one hundred and fifty years it would place great pressure on taxpayers. Also, in health and education services, governments would be forced to spend large amounts on hospitals and education services for the elderly. (Problems) However, practical solutions to these problems could be found. Governments could increase the retirement age and encourage people to stay at work lon ger. This would mean that people contribute tax for a longer period of time and would make older people feel they are still contributing to society. Governments could build more specialist hospitals that only deal with older people and pay for higher education institutions that specialise in subjects that would interest older people. (Solutions) In conclusion, there are a number of steps that governments could take to manage a much larger older population, especially in the areas of welfare, health and education. Governments have an important responsibility to keep people healthy and occupied throughout their whole lives – even if they live for one hundred and fifty years.(Conclusion)
Activity - Identifying problems and solutions
Read the following Problem-Solution essay question and then the sentences from an essay that answers this question. Decide if each sentence presents a problem or a solution. The first has been done for you as an example.
Problem-Solution essay question Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying the social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to make sure that it does not harm the soc ial development of teenagers and young adults?
Sentences from the body of a Problem-Solution essay 1. Frequent use of the Internet could lead to loneliness, especially among teenagers.
This sentence presents a: Problem Solution
2. One course of action could be to limit the use of the I nternet, for example, by having Internet free days.
This sentence presents a: Problem Solution
3. Another strategy could be to encourage more social activities.
This sentence presents a: Problem Solution
4. Some people say that frequent use of the In ternet leads to less ability in spoken communication.
This sentence presents a: Problem Solution
5. Counselling is an option for people who are addicted to the Internet.
This sentence presents a: Problem Solution
Alternative structure of a ProblemSolution essay
An alternative structure for a Problem-Solution essay is one that presents a problem and then a solution to this problem in the same paragraph. This approach is similar to the alternative Discussion and Argument essays we looked at previously. Using this structure, you can plan the overall structure in the following way: Introduction + Body paragraph 1 PROBLEM + SOLUTION + Body paragraph 2 PROBLEM + SOLUTION + conclusion Note that your essay may contain more than 2 body paragraphs. Let’s look at an example Problem-Solution essay that uses this structure.
Problem-Solution essay question People are living much longer than before. In the future, it may even be possible for people to live to 150 years old. This will create enormous pressures on government services such as health, education and welfare. What can governments do to deal with a much larger older population?
Click here to see how Mustapha used the ideas from his plan to structure his essay.
Mustapha’s essay To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. However, if this dream becomes a reality the government cou ld face many problems in providing basic services. This essay will look at this problem and suggest how governments can manage a much larger population of older people in the future. (Introduction) The problems caused for governments by an increasing older population could severely affect welfare services. (Problem) To prepare for this situation, governments could increase the retirement age. This w ould mean that people could work longer in their jobs and therefore continue to contribute tax while still providing their valuable experience to society. Encouraging older people to stay at
work would also decrease the amount of tax paid by younger people. (Solution) Currently, older people don’t have enough input into government policies. (Problem)Governments should create departments that specifically deal with the issues of older people at all l evels of government. (Solution) A related problem is the lack of adequate hospital services for older people. (Problem) The government should build more hospitals th at specialise in treating older people. (Solution) Lastly, the government needs to keep the minds o f older people active during their longer life. (Problem) Therefore, they need to establish higher education institutions that are designed to meet the learning needs of older people. In some countries, private universities already fulfil this function – for example, the University of the Third Age in Australia. (Solution) In conclusion, there are a number of steps the government could take to m anage a much larger older population, especially in the areas of welfare, health and education. Governments have an important responsibility to keep people healthy and occupied throughout their whole lives – even if they live for one hundred and fifty years.(Conclusion)
Activity - Writing a Problem-Solution essay
Look at the following Problem-Solution essay question. On a piece of paper, write the body of an essay to answer th is question using one of the Problem-Solution essay structures you have learnt. The introduction and conclusion have already been written for you.
Problem-Solution essay question Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to make sure that it does not harm the social development of teenagers and young adults?
Introduction Since its invention, the Internet has changed the way people communicate. Many people argue that it has had a negative influence on the w ay teenagers and young adults communic ate. This essay will present some ideas about why this may be a negative development and suggest how this influence can be reduced.
Conclusion In summary, it can be seen that over-exposure to the Internet can be dangerous to young people. Specifically, it can harm the development of their social skills at an important time in
their lives. We should all try to make sure that this does not happen before it becomes a major issue in our society. Click here to see an example essay plan to help you write the body of your essay. Write your answer on a piece of paper. When you have finished writing, compare your essay with the one Yumiko has written.
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 5. In Step 5, you have learnt to:
plan an overall structure for different essay types structure your ideas into an essay.
In Step 6, we will focus on writing introductions to Task 2 essays.
Step 6: Focusing on introductions Introduction Welcome to Step 6! In Step 5, we looked at how to structure and plan an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay. In Step 6, we will focus on writing introductions.
Outcomes At the end of Step 6, you will be able to:
recognise and practise writing the three parts of an introduction write an effective introduction for an IELTS Task 2 question.
Writing an introduction for Task 2
The introduction is the first paragraph of the essay. It is very important because it is the first impression the examiner has of your writing. There are many ways of writing an effective introduction for a Task 2 essay. In this step, we will look at one way of writing an introduction that can be used for each essay type in the IELTS Writing test. This introduction does the following three things: 1. gives a general statement about the topic 2. refers to the viewpoint or problem presented in the question 3. refers to the specific question. Let's briefly look at these three parts of the introduction. Th en we will look at each part in detail and do some practice activities for each.
The three parts of an introduction Look at the following Task 2 essay question.
Example Traditional medicine (Topic) , such as acupuncture and herbal remedies , is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. (Viewpoint) Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? (Specific question)
Now let’s look at the introduction to Sola's essay, answering this question.
Traditional medicine using methods such as acupuncture and herbal remedies is widely used in some countries. Some doctors who practise traditional medicine believe that it is more successful than modern medicine in developing good hea lth. I completely agree with this statement.
Let’s look briefly at the three parts of this introduction.
Traditional medicine using methods such as acupuncture and herbal remedies is widely used in some countries. (general statement about the topic) Some doctors who practise traditional medicine believe that it is more successful than modern medicine in developing good health. (referring to the viewpoint in the question) I completely agree with this statement. (referring to the specific question)
Part 1: General statement The first sentence is a general statement. It indicates the topic (traditional medicine) and gives some information about the topic (is widely used in some countries).
Part 2: Referring to the viewpoint or problem presented in the question The second sentence refers to the viewpoint in the question (Some doctors who practise traditional medicine believe that it is more successful than modern medicine in developing good health). Note that in a Problem-Solution essay question, this sentence would refer to the problem presented in the question. This sentence is important because the next s entence (the last sentence) in the introduction refers to this viewpoint or problem.
Part 3: Referring to the specific question The last sentence tells the reader how you are going to answer the specific question. It should indicate whether you agree or disagree with the viewpoint in the question (Argument essay), whether you will discu ss the advantages and disadvantages of a particular issu e (Discussion essay), or whether you will present some problems of and solutions to a particular issue (Problem-Solution essay). By including these three parts we can see that the ideas in the introduction move from a general statement about the topic to more specific information about the essay. Look at the following diagram which illustrates this.
Let’s look at the three parts of an introduction i n detail.
General statement
The general statement is the first sentence of your introduction. It is also the first sentence of your Task 2 essay, so it should gain the examiner’s attention immediately. A general statement should:
indicate the topic of the essay give some information about the topic.
Note that before you write a general statement, you need to identify the topic in the essay question. Remember that the topic in the example question we just looked at is 'traditional medicine'. To write a general statement about the topic you could:
use your own ideas about the topic take ideas from the question and rewrite them using your own words.
Let's look at the ideas Krystyna ha s used in her general statement about traditional medicine. Has she used her own ideas or taken ideas from the question?
Krystyna's introduction
Traditional medicine is often preferred as a safe and effective way of keeping and restoring health.
Teacher’s comment In her general statement Krystyna has:
indicated the topic of the essay ( traditional medicine) used her own ideas to give some information about the topic (often preferred as a safe and effective way of keeping and restoring health. ).
Here are other examples of a general statement that Krystyna could have written for her introduction to this essay. Traditional medicine is recommended by numerous doctors worldwide. Traditional methods of restoring health are becoming increasingly popular. Note that the general statement should not give yo ur opinion about the topic. Let’s now look at general statements written by other students for this topic.
Students’ general statements Pierre’s general statement
Traditional medicine is beginning to gain popularity over the practice of modern medicine in many countries.
Teacher’s comment In his general statement, Pierre has:
indicated the topic of the essay ( traditional medicine) taken ideas from the question and rewritten them using his ow n words ( is becoming more popular than modern medicine).
Esperanza’s general statement
Acupuncture and herbal medicine have been used in the East for thousands of years.
Teacher’s comment In her general statement, Esperanza has:
given examples of traditional medicine (acupuncture and herbal medicine). Therefore, in the next part of her introduction - rephrasing the v iewpoint - Esperanza should clearly indicate the topic by including the words 'traditional medicine'. has used her own ideas about the topic (have been used in the East for thousands of years).
Peter’s general statement
I believe that the use of traditional medicine is a safe and gentle way of looking after one’s health.
Teacher’s comment In his general statement, Peter has:
indicated the topic of the essay ( traditional medicine) used his own ideas to give so me information about the topic ( a safe and gentle way of looking after one’s health).
However, Peter has also given his own opinion (I believe that...). Remember, you should not give your opinion in a general statement.
Activity - Recognising effective general statements
Read the Task 2 question below and decide whether the following general statements are effective or ineffective. The first one has been done for you as an example.
The world is consuming resourses at an increasing rate. In order to prevent these resources from being wasted, governments should try to discourage people from constantly throwing away items and buying the’ newest and most up-to-date products. To what extent do you agree?
Jurgen's general statement
In my opinion, consumerism is contributing to a depletion of the world's resources.
Teacher’s comment "Although this general statement clearly shows the topic (consumption of resources), it is ineffectivebecause the writer gives his opinion (In my opinion ...)." The writer could have written:
Consumerism is contributing to a depletion of the world's resources.
Now you try!
General statement 1 The world is consuming resources at an increasing rate. Effective Ineffective
General statement 2 The increasing demand for consumer goods has become an alarming trend. Effective Ineffective
General statement 3 World population is increasing at a dangerous rate. Effective Ineffective
Activity - Writing general statements
Let's practise writing a general statement. First, read the following Task 2 essay question and identify the topic.
Increasingly large numbers of students are undertaking their higher education in other countries. Despite problems such as the financial cost and the difficulty of studying in a foreign language, the benefits of studying o verseas are often thought to be greater than the difficulties. To what extent do you agree?
What is the topic of this question? A education in other countries B financial cost of studying overseas
C higher education overseas Now that you know the topic, think of some information about this topic and write a general statement in the text box below.
Now compare your general statement with the one Eva has written.
Studying at a university or college in a foreign country has become very popular in recent years.
Referring to the viewpoint or problem In the second part of your introduction, you should refer to the viewpoint or problem presented in the question. You can do this in one of two ways:
rephrasing using your own ideas
First, let's look at rephrasing the viewpoint.
Rephrasing the viewpoint Let’s look at a sample introduction to see how this can be done. First, read the Task 2 question again.
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies , is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Now look at the introduction that Jane has written.
Traditional medicine using methods such as acupuncture and herbal remedies is widely used in some countries. Some doctors who practice traditional medicine believe that it is more successful than modern medicine in developing good health. I completely agree with this statement.
In the second part of her introduction, Jane has rephrased the viewpoint in the question. Let’s look at this in more detail.
Viewpoint in the question
Rephrased viewpoint in the introduction
Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health.
Some doctors who practise traditional medicine believe that it is more successful than modern medicine in developing good health.
We can see that Jane has rephrased the viewpoint presented in the question. Note that she has used synonyms so the meaning is still the same.
Activity - Identifying rephrasing
Read the following Task 2 question a nd decide which of the following students have rephrased the viewpoint. We have highlighted the viewpoint in the question for you.
Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs su ch as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?
Example 1 - Hisako
Some people argue that the laws banning sale and consumption of dangerous drugs should be enforced for all types of drugs, including less harmful ones like tobacco and alcohol.
has rephrased has not rephrased
Example 2 - Milan
Some believe that laws that ban the sale and use o f hard drugs should be applied to all drugs including tobacco and alcohol.
has rephrased has not rephrased
Example 3 - Krystyna
Some people claim that selling and consuming dangerous drugs like heroin should be banned.
has rephrased has not rephrased
Using your own ideas You can also refer to the viewpoint by using your own ideas. Let’s look at an example of this. First, read the following Task 2 question. The viewpoint has been highlighted for you.
Zoos around the world provide people with the opportunity to enjoy and learn about animals that they do not usually have the chance to see. However, despite these benefits, it is unkind to keep animals in zoos. Do you agree?
The viewpoint in this question states that although zoos can help to teach people about animals, it is also unkind to keep animals in zoos.
Now look at how Yumiko has referred to this viewpoint using her own ideas. This part of the introduction has been highlighted for you.
Yumiko's introduction Zoos give people the opportunity to see and learn about the animals that live on this earth. Although some people believe that it is unkind to keep animals in cages, others say that zoos provide biologists and scientists with the opportunity to research animals so that they can be helped in the future. For these reasons, I disagree that keeping animals in zoos is unkind.
In this example, Yumiko h as referred to the viewpoint in the question ( it is unkind to keep animals in cages) by using her own ideas ( some people say zoos provide research opportunities for biologists and scientists / animals can be helped in the future ).
Activity - Referring to the viewpoint
Let’s practise referring to the viewpoint in the following question by rephrasing or using your o wn ideas. The viewpoint in the question has been highlighted for you.
The world is consuming resources at an increasing rate. In order to prevent these resources from being wasted, governments should try to discourage people from constantly throwing away items and buying the newest and most up-to-date products. To what extent do you agree? In the text box below, write a sentence that refers to the viewpoint in the question.
Now look at how 3 other students have referred to this viewpoint in their introduction. There is a teacher's comment for each.
Hisako
The increasing demand for consumer goods has become an alarming trend. Some people say that consumers should be discouraged from buying disposable products or the latest or most fashionable items, to stop the waste of resources. I completely agree with this viewpoint.
Teacher’s comment “Hisako has a good range of vocabulary. She has referred to the viewpoint in the question by using a number of synony ms to rephrase it”.
Jin Tao
The increasing demand for consumer goods has become an alarming trend. This demand has caused a dramatic decrease in natural resources that cannot be easily renewed and many people now argue that consumers should be educated and encouraged to shop wisely. I agree with this statement.
Teacher’s comment “Jin Tao is quite confident in his writing skills and chose to refer to the viewpoint in the question by using his own ideas”.
Jane
The increasing demand for consumer goods has become an alarming trend. In order to prevent resources from being wasted, governments should discourage consumers from constantly disposing of products and purchasing more up to date or fashionable items. However, I disagree with this viewpoint.
Teacher’s comment “The viewpoint that Jane has written is the same (word for word) as the v iewpoint in the question. She did not use synonyms to rephrase, or use her own ideas”.
Referring to the specific question The last part of the introduction should respond to the specific question. In an Argument essay, you should respond by stating your viewpoint. If you would like to review the language used to express your viewpoint, click here. In Discussion and Problem-Solution essays, it is likely that you will respond by stating the purpose of your essay. Let’s look at an example Argument essay question and Peter's introduction.
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? (Specific question)
Now read Peter's introduction to see how he has stated his viewpoint in the last sentence.
Peter's introduction Traditional medicine, using methods such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is widely used in some countries. Some doctors who practise traditional medicine believe that it is more successful than modern medicine in developing good health. I completely agree with this statement.
We can see that the last part of Peter's introduction responds to the specific question by indicating that he agrees with the viewpoint presented in the question. Now let’s look at some other Task 2 questions and introductions written by students. The sentence that refers to the specific question has been highlighted.
Example 1 In most countries, the amount of crime committed by teenagers has risen significantly. Researchers are trying to discover the reasons for this increase and the impact it has had on communities around the world. What are the causes and effects of teenage crime in modern day society? (Specific question)
Sola's introduction The growing rate of crime is a major public concern. In particular, teenage crime seems to be on the increase, as the media often presents us with accounts of violent crime committed by teenagers.This essay will discuss some possible causes of teenage crime today and the effects this has had on our society.
The last part of Sola's introduction responds to the specific question by indicating the purpose of his essay which is to present some causes and effects of teenage crime.
Example 2 Citizens of all developed countries should be forced to give a percentage of their income to citizens of poorer countries, in order to assist them with basic needs. To what extent do you agree with this statement? (Specific question)
Andres' Introduction
The distribution of wealth between countries around the world is an ongoing issue. Some people have suggested that people from wealthier nations should give a part of their income to people from underdeveloped countries. I strongly agree with this viewpoint.
In the last part of his introduction, Andres has responded to the specific question by indicating that hestrongly agrees with the viewpoint presented in the question.
Example 3 Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are the possible risks and the benefits of this? (Specific question)
Maria's Introduction
These days, an increasing number of children are choosing television as their main form of entertainment. Many children watch hours of television on a daily basis and some people are concerned about the effects this is having on them. This essay will discuss some of the possible risks and also some benefits that watching television may have on young children.
The last part of Maria's introduction responds to the specific question by indicating the purpose of her essay which is to discuss the risks and benefits of children watching television.
Activity - Referring to the specific question
Read the following Task 2 questions and introductions. The last part of each introduction (the writer'sviewpoint or the purpose of the essay) is missing. From the options given, choose the sentence that refers to the specific question. Question 1
Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.
Paola's introduction Most countries have a social welfare system to financially assist disadvantaged or unemployed people. Some people believe this system should be maintained by the government, while others argue that each member of society should pay for his or her own needs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I believe that most countries shou ld assist disadvantaged or unemployed people for the following reasons. This essay will discuss both types of social welfare systems in order to determine which one is more effective.
Question 2
Universities are becoming increasingly expensive to operate. In some countries, money from taxation has met these costs. However, this is not always enough to
maintain the quality of universities. How can universities be funded in future?
Mustapha's introduction For most students, public universities offer an opportunity to obtain an affordable education. Some public universities ho wever, are experiencing financial difficulties and are not receiving enough assistance from governments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........................
This essay will look at three ways in which universities could be funded in future years. I agree that universities should be funded in the future.
Question 3
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Esperanza's introduction Traditional medicine is growing in popularity and many people are now using methods such as acupuncture to maintain and strengthen their health. Many of those who have experienced traditional medicine believe that it is more effective. . . . . . . . . . . ........................................
I agree with this viewpoint. This essay will discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages of traditional medicine techniques.
Activity - Identifying an effective introduction
Read the Task 2 question below and decide whether or not the following introductions are effective. Remember to look at the three parts of the introduction:
giving a general statement
referring to the viewpoint or problem referring to the specific question.
The first one has been done for you as an example.
In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150? Siddhi's introduction
Science may offer the opportunity to live a lot longer in the future. Although this might be an advantage for individuals, it may also have negative effects on our world. This essay will discuss some of the benefits and risks of living to an advanced age.
effective ineffective Siddhi's introduction is effective because it:
contains a general statement which states the topic ( to live longer ) and gives some information about the topic (science may offer this opportunity in the future) refers to the viewpoint in the question ( this might be an advantage for indivi duals but may have negative effects on our world ) refers to the specific question by indicating the purpose of her essay which is to discuss the benefits and risks of living to an advanced age.
Now you try!
Pierre's introduction
Medical developments have many benefits and risks. Although some people may be pleased to live to a very old age, this may affect our world in negative ways.
effective ineffective Jurgen's introduction
In the future, it could be scientifically possible for people to live to be 150 years old. This could be good news for individual people but it may have negative consequences for society. This essay will discuss some of the benefits and risks of people living to a very old age. effective ineffective
Activity - Summary quiz
Now let’s revise the main points from this step. Decide if the following are True or False.
True The general statement is the first sentence in the introduction. It is acceptable to give your viewpoint in the general statement. It is acceptable to repeat all or part of the question in the introduction. You can refer to the viewpoint in the question by rephrasing or using your own ideas. An introduction should refer to the
False
specific question. The writer’s viewpoint or the purpose of the essay should be indicated in the last sentence of the introduction.
Activity - Writing introductions
Look at the following Task 2 questions and write an introduction for each. Then compare your introduction with a sample. Remember that your introduction will not be exactly the same but it should have the three parts of an introduction that you have learnt in this step. Question 1
Due to the influence of world-wide media such as television and computers , the gap between cultures is decreasing. The introduction of this global culture is of great benefit to the world. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint? The international mass media has for the first time resulted in the majority of people sharing the same experiences. Some say that this is closing the gap between cultures and is bringing many benifits worldwide. I completely agree with this viewpoint.
Question 2
In the last decade, there has been a great increase in the number and variety of online courses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, other students see these courses as less effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course? As more online courses are being offered to adults, different aspects of this learning medium have become apparent. Online courses offer students some advantages over studying in a
classroom, however there are some definite drawbacks. This essay will discuss some of the classroom, advantages and disadvantages of online courses.
Question 3
Cars have become a convenient and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created, and offer some practical solutions. Most people now use cars as their main form of transport. An increase in this trend during the last centry has contributed to major traffic con gestion in cities, and to a decline in the quality of our environment. This essay will look at how this is occuring and what can be done to address this problem.
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 6. In Step 6, you have learnt to:
recognise an introduction for Task 2 that: o gives a general statement o refers to the viewpoint or problem presented in the question refers to the specific question. o write an effective introduction for an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay question.
In Step 7, we will focus on how to organise ideas in a paragraph and write the body of an essay.
Step 7: Moving from ideas to paragraphs Introduction
Welcome to Step 7! In Step 6, we looked at how to write an introduction. In Step 7, we will deal with how to us e your ideas to write paragraphs for the body of your Task 2 essay.
Outcomes At the end of Step 7, you will be able to:
identify what a paragraph is identify and write the topic sentence for a paragraph write supporting ideas, evidence and/or examples write the body of an IELTS Task 2 essay.
What is a paragraph? A paragraph is a group of sentences in w hich one main idea is clearly developed. This main idea is us ually presented in the first sentence of the paragraph (the topic sentence). The other sentences in the paragraph support this main idea, give evidence and examples. To write a paragraph for your Task 2 essay, you should refer to your essay plan to get yo ur main idea, supporting ideas, evidence and examples. Note that in Step 4 you learnt how to plan an essay. If you have organised your ideas in your Note that essay plan effectively, you will find it easier to write a paragraph. Let's look at an example essay question and the plan that Jin Tao wrote.
Example In the last decade, there has been an inc rease in the number and variety of online c ourses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however other students see these courses as less effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course?
Advantages of studying online Flexibility
flexible study hours study at own pace
study anywhere if there is a computer with o nline access
Study
review course information easily individual contact with the teacher via email/bulletin boards e.g. online students can email questions to their teacher any time
Disadvantages of studying online Technology
appropriate technology not always available lessons online are more theoretical due to technology limitations e.g. learning chemistry online students could only study theory and simulations with no access to chemicals or laboratories
Study
classroom offers benefits in addition to the course e.g. use of the library, face to face contact with the teacher, sharing ideas with classmates, socialising with friends classroom offers more practical experience
Let’s look at the first group of ideas from Jin T ao’s essay plan about the advantages of online study. They are grouped under the heading ‘flexibility’:
study anywhere if there is a computer with online access flexible study hours study at own pace.
These ideas can be grouped because all of the ideas support and give examples of how flexible flexible online online study can be. As these ideas support one main idea, they c an be used to write one paragraph. paragraph . Let's look at how he used these ideas to write a paragraph.
Sample paragraph Online study provides a flexible learning alternative fo r students. Using a computer co mputer with Internet access, students can study wherever they wish. This could be at home, at work or even a friend’s house, and at any time time of of the day. Students are also able to learn at their own pace, ensuring they understand the lessons clearly. In these ways, online courses can meet the personal needs of students.
Using your ideas to write a paragraph Each paragraph should:
include a topic sentence introducing the main idea have sentences to support the main idea provide evidence and/or examples.
Look at our sample paragraph again. The topic sentence has been highlighted. You can see that the other sentences in the rest of the paragraph s upport the main idea in the topic sentence.
Sample paragraph Online study provides a flexible learning alternative for students. Using a compu ter with Internet access, students can study wherever they wish. This could be at home, work or even a friend’ s house, and at any time of the day.Students are also able to learn at their own pace, ensuring they understand the lessons clearly. In these ways, online courses can meet the personal needs of students.
Topic sentence Supporting idea 1: can study anywhere Supporting idea 2: flexible study hours Supporting idea 3: can study at own pace
First, let's look at topic sentences.
Topic sentences Topic sentences are important in IELTS essays because they:
introduce the main idea of the paragraph link the paragraph to the question link the paragraph to other paragraphs in the body.
Here is an example Task 2 question and the essay Jane wrote to answer it. The topic sentences are highlighted. Notice the role of the topic sentence in each paragraph.
Example question The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What is your opinion?
Jane's answer The use of computers in modern life has resulted in changes in society. Some of these changes have been to the advantage of society and others have not. This essay will outline both sides of the issue.
Introduction
On the one hand, computers are useful tools offering several benefits to people. Firstly, they enable machines to do dangerous work instead of humans. For example, in computerised car assembly factories, robots can do hard and dangerous work without stopping. In addition, computers have improved the speed of data processing helping scientists to further develop modern technology. People can go to the moon using computers to control the o rbit of the spaceship, the timing of fuel injection and other vital calculations. Moreover, people can shop and book aeroplane or theatre tickets without leaving home.
Topic sentence
However, computers can be used in many harmful ways. For example, computers can be used to steal people’s private personal information. Also, with the development of the Internet, previously controlled material such as pornography has become more widespread making it easier for children to access it. Furthermore, many people have lost their jobs because computers can shorten some processes in factories, resulting in fewer workers being required.
Topic sentence
To conclude, computers are being used in more areas of life such as communication in the workplace and at home. The result is that people are relying more on computers in their daily lives. Despite the disadvantages, it is highly likely th at the use of computers will increase due to the various benefits computers have to offer.
Conclusion
introduces the main idea(computers are useful tools) links to the question(benefits of computers)
introduces the main idea(harmful uses of computers) links to the question(disadvantages of computers) 'however' links this paragraph to the previous paragraph
Activity - Identifying an effective topic sentence
In this activity we will look at how the topic sentence introduces the main idea of the paragraph. First, let’s look at an example question.
Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?
The following paragraph is part of an essay that answers this question but the topic sentence is missing.By reading the paragraph carefully and finding the main idea in the s upporting sentences, we should be able to identify an effective topic sentence.
Sample paragraph (without topic sentence) ................................................. . As a result, many professional competitors have become millionaires from playing sport. Professionals in other fields such as science and research earn much less, even though their work may lead to the improvement of people’s health and daily lives. Watching sport is merely a form of entertainment and the money used to pay sport professionals should be spent in other more worthwhile areas.
The supporting sentences in this paragraph focus on the large amount of money wasted on the salaries of sport professionals. The following four students wrote topic sentences for this paragraph. Click Effective or Ineffective for each of their answers. The first one has been done for you as an example.
Effective
Ineffective
Researchers and scientists provide an important service to society and deserve a higher salary.
A
Esperanza
Esperanza’s topic sentence is ineffective because:
the paragraph mentions scientists and researchers, but it does not say that their salary should be increased the topic of scientists and researchers does not relate to the question.
Now you try!
Effective
Ineffective
University degrees provide people with the skills needed to become professionals in their field and earn a high income.
B
Jin Tao
International sport wastes too much money by paying players increasingly higher salaries.
C
Peter
International sporting events use too much money to pay team coaches.
D
Judy
Activity - Matching topic sentences
Let’s practise matching topic sentences to paragraphs. The first one has been done for you as an example. Question 1
In many traditional societies, caring for the children is only the mother’s responsibility. More recently, some people have argued that the father’s role should be as important as the mother’s role. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Here is a paragraph from a sample answer to this question, however, the topic s entence is missing. First, read the paragraph to identify the main idea.
Sample paragraph ............................... . Mothers play an important role in caring for their children,
however, to say that the task of caring for children is the sole responsibility of the mother is unreasonable. If fathers fail to take time to care for and be with their children, it may result in the child feeling unloved or even resentful towards their father.
Topic sentences Now choose a topic sentence for the paragraph above. Remember it should introduce the main idea and link the paragraph to the question.
Mothers should have the main responsibility for bringing up children. Both fathers and mothers should be responsi ble for the upbringing of their children. If fathers do not help care for their children, the family may have an unhappy environment. In a family, both parents need to work to effectively provide for their children.
The second topic sentence introduces the m ain idea of the paragraph and links the paragraph to the question.
Now you try! Question 2
The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments sh ould discourage people from constantly buying up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample paragraph .............................. . This excess of rubbish is mainly due to products such as mobile phones and computers being constantly updated with older versions becoming quickly outdated and useless. Consumers are then forced to buy the latest commodities, with the older items often being discarded. If the products were made out of m aterials that could be recycled they could be re-used to make the latest models. The result would be a reduction in the amount of waste output while s till maintaining the ability to produce newer and more effective products for society.
Click on the best topic sentence for the paragraph above. Computers are a vital part of modern society.
For businesses to remain competitive in society, it is important to keep up to date with modern products. Recyclable products should be used to reduc e the problem of increasing waste and pollution. The government should enforce special laws to encourage people not to buy products that use natural resources.
Question 3
Compared to our parent’s generation, life has become much more stressful. As a result, stress-related illnesses are on the increase around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
Sample paragraph ................................... . At work, with more competition between staff members and organisations, employees find themselves under pressure to work harder. As a result, people work long hours taking away time from being at home with family and friends. This could lead to social problems in the individual’s private life.
Click on the best topic sentence for the paragraph above. Developments in technology have helped reduce stress in workers. Spending time relaxing with family and friends is one important way to reduce stress. Increasing pressure at work and home has led to many people suffering from h igh levels of stress. In modern society, working habits are leading to health problems such as obesity.
Question 4
Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
Sample paragraph
.................................. . With services such as email and chat, people can send and receive messages anytime, anywhere in the world, if they have access to a computer. Using the Internet is much cheaper than telephone calls and it does not invo lve the long wait for a letter to arrive through the post. Thro ugh Internet technology, people in different cities and countries can send and receive messages instantaneously.
Click on the best topic sentence for the paragraph above. The Internet offers an easy way for people to communicate regularly. Notebook computers have several advantages over desktop computers. Internet cafes provide a cheaper alternative to buying a computer. With the development of the Internet, the number of people making telephone calls and writing letters is decreasing.
Supporting ideas, evidence and examples As we discussed earlier, a topic sentence plays an essential role in a paragraph: it summarises its main idea. However, a topic sentence is not enough. We also need supporting ideas to provide 'support' to that main idea. Each of your supporting ideas needs to be explained clearly. To strengthen your argument and make it clear, some of your supporting ideas should include evidence and/or examples. The examples you use give more support to your ideas and clarify them. Loo k at the following extract which shows the use of examples. Computers enable machines instead of humans to do dangerous work.(Supporting idea) For example, in computerised car assembly factories, robots can do hard and dangerous work without stopping. (Example) The evidence that you include in your paragraph to strengthen your supporting ideas may include:
an explanation of that idea data from a research study or survey a quotation from a critic.
Look at the following extracts from two students' essays to compare how effectively they have usedevidence.
Computers are useful tools offering several benefits to people.(Supporting idea) Scientists have decided to increase the frequency of expeditions to the moon. (Weak evidence) Computers are useful tools offering several benefits to people.(Supporting idea) Computers have improved the speed of data processing helping scientists to develop modern technology further. People can now go to the moon using computers to control the orbit of the spaceship, the timing of fuel injection and other vital calculations. (Strong evidence) Let’s look at how Jin Tao and Sawako supported their ideas and how they in cluded either evidence or an example to strengthen their argument. First, let’s look at an example Task 2 question.
Example question In the last decade, there has been an inc rease in the number and variety of online c ourses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, other students see these courses as less effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course?
Let’s look at Jin Tao's plan about the advantages and disadvantages of online study again. Earlier in this step Jin Tao wrote a paragraph about the advantages of online study. Let's look at this paragraph again here.
Online study provides a flexible learning alternative for students. Using a computer with Internet access, students can study wherever they wish. This could be at home, at w ork or even a friend’s house, and at any time of the day. Students are also able to learn at their own pace, ensuring they understand the lessons clearly. In these ways, online courses can meet the personal needs of students.
Now Jin Tao is going to write a paragraph about the disadvantages. First, look at the topic sentence he wrote for this paragraph.
Topic sentence Despite the advantages, online courses are no t appropriate for all students and subjects due to the limitations of technology.
Notice that the ideas in the plan support the main idea in the topic sentence by outlining the limitations oftechnology. Now let’s see how Jin Tao used these ideas in a paragraph with evidence.
Jin Tao's paragraph Despite the advantages, online courses are not appropriate for all students and subjects due to the limitations of technology. If there is no access to computers and other expensive equipment, studying online may not be an option for many people. In addition, lessons themselves can be limited by technology, in that it is difficult to provide practical experience for many subjects online. The classroom on the other hand offers students more opportunities to apply the skills they have been learning.
Topic sentence Supporting idea 1 Supporting idea 2 + evidence
Now look at how Sawako wrote about the disadvantages of online courses. Note that she has supported her ideas with an example.
Sawako's paragraph Despite the advantages, online courses are not appropriate for all students and subjects due to the limitations of technology. In many parts of the world, computers are still not readily available so studying online is not an option for many people.The difficulty of providing practical experience on a computer is a further problem. For instance, students learning chemistry would have no access to chemicals or laboratories needed to do experiments. They would only be able to study theory and simulations.
Topic sentence Supporting idea 1 Supporting idea 2 + example.
Note that the supporting ideas, evidence and examples must relate directly to the main idea in the topic sentence. Although your ideas may change as you write your paragraph, it is very important to make sure all your sentences in the paragraph support the main idea. Look at what one IELTS examiner said about this.
Teacher’s comment
"I really enjoy reading an essay full of good ideas. However, sometimes the sentences written in some paragraphs are not relevant to the main idea of the paragraph. This results in the student getting a lower score."
Activity - Supporting your main idea Look at the following example essay essa y question and sample paragraph from Yumiko's essay. Read the topic sentence and the supporting sentences. The topic sentence with the main idea has been highlighted. Do the supporting ideas, evidence and examples support the main idea of the paragraph? The first one has been done for you as an example.
In the last decade, there has been an increase in the number and variety of online courses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, other students see these courses as less effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages disa dvantages of studying an online course?
Sample paragraph from Yumiko's essay Online courses may not be suitable for all students and subjects due to the limitations of technology. Although computers are still scarce in some parts of the world, the use of computers in education is rapidly increasing. It is also becoming much less of a problem for students to carry out the practical components of their courses on computers. For example, in the past, chemistry students required access to chemicals or laboratories to do experiments. However, since most scientists now use computer-based models to formulate their theories, computers can now be used by these students.
Look at the topic sentence of Yumiko's paragraph. What is the main idea? The main idea in the topic sentence indicates a disadvantage of online study, that is, the limitations of technology. Do the supporting ideas, evidence and/or examples support the main idea?
Yes No
The main idea (the limitations of technology) is a disadvantage of online study, but the supporting ideas, evidence and examples outline the advantages .
Now you try! Look at the following Task 2 questions and sample paragraphs. Read the topic sentences and the supporting sentences. Decide whether the supporting ideas, evidence and examples support the main idea in the topic sentence. Question 1
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture acupuncture and and herbal herbal remedies , is , is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim that it is better than modern medicine in i n maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? view point?
Sample paragraph Traditional medicine has many advantages over modern medicine. Modern medicine offers drugs that have been developed to meet the needs of sick people. people . Traditional medicine, however, has a higher risk of dangerous side effects by relying on materials such as herbs and plants to treat patients. In addition, while traditional medicine claims to be able to treat many kinds of health conditions, the methods used do not always result in success. Furthermore, there is a lack of scientific evidence to evidence to support their effectiveness.
Do the supporting ideas, evidence and/or examples support the main idea?
Yes No
The topic sentence states that traditional medicine has advantages over modern medicine. However, the supporting sentences explain the disadvantages of modern medicine. Here is a sample paragraph with effective supporting ideas, evidence and examples: Traditional medicine has many advantages over modern medicine. While modern medicine relies on the use of artificially developed chemicals an d drugs, traditional medicine uses natural materials such as herbs and other plants. The body more readily accepts these with less chance of harmful side effects. effects. In addition, modern drugs are designed to treat diseases, but do not take other important factors such as the emotional condition or lifestyle of the patient into account. Traditional medicine aims to cure the patient, but also offers methods to improve the lifestyle and overall wellbeing of the patient for the long term.
Question 2
In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
Sample paragraph Despite the benefits, the disadvantages of people living to such an old age creates some serious problems for society. With people living longer, the financial burden of providing for an increasing number of elderly citizens is an immediate issue. At the family level, this may result in people having to work w ork longer to earn enough money to support their elder relatives. Governments might also raise taxes in an attempt to provide welfare for the ageing population. A further issue would be the rapid increase in population. This could cause overcrowding in many parts of the world, placing demands on housing and food supplies.
Do the supporting ideas, evidence and/or examples support the main idea?
Yes
No
Question 3
Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs like heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to freely buy other more socially acceptable drugs like tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and consumption of ‘hard’ drugs should be applied to other more widely tolerated drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?
Sample paragraph In the first place, under current laws, alcohol poses a greater threat to the health of more people than hard drugs do. Hard drugs both directly and indirectly affect most people in society. Many people know of someone who either uses drugs or has been a victim of drug-related crime. Breaking into people’s houses or mugging them in the street to steal money to support a drug habit is a serious and growing problem.
Do the supporting ideas, evidence and/or examples support the main idea?
Yes No The ideas, evidence and examples do not support the main idea. Here is a sample paragraph with effective supporting ideas, evidence and examples: In the first place, under current laws alcohol poses a greater threat to the health of more people than hard drugs do. When talking about drug problems, people may not even consider alcohol because it is often considered to be a normal, if not healthy part of life. The reality is, however, that alcohol causes various health problems such as liver disease, heart trouble and obesity. Violence resulting from excessive drinking further adds to the problem. With alcohol being legal, people can buy it easily and cheaply, consequently people are more likely to expose themselves to the health risks of drinking than to take heroin or cocaine.’
Putting it all together We have learnt about the parts of a paragraph. Each paragraph has:
a topic sentence to outline the main idea of the paragraph sentences to support the main idea evidence and/or examples.
Let’s look at a sample essay Siddhi wrote and examine th e topic sentences, supporting ideas, evidence and examples. First, look at the following Task 2 question:
In the last decade, there has been an inc rease in the number and variety of online c ourses available to adults. While welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, other students see these courses as a poor substitute for classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course?
Siddhi's answer As more online courses are being offered to adults, different aspects of this learning medium have become apparent. Online courses offer students some advantages over studying in a classroom, however there are some definite drawbacks. The following essay deals with the advantages and disadvantages of online courses. INTRODUCTION Online study provides the advantage of a flexible learning alternative for students. TOPIC SENTENCE - Using a computer with Internet access, students can study wherever they prefer. This could be at home, at w ork or even at a friend’s house, and at any time of the day. - SUPPORTING IDEA 1 AND EXAMPLE - Students are also able to study at their own pace, depending on whether they find the material easy or difficult. As course material is available on their own computers, students can easily review material as many times as they wish. Furthermore, in the classroom, teachers may have little time to answer individual questions. In contrast, if students have any questions about their online study, they can contact their teacher using e-mail or bulletin boards. - SUPPORTING IDEA 2 AND EVIDENCE Despite the advantages, online courses are not ap propriate for all students and subjects due to the limitations of technology. - TOPIC SENTENCE - If there is no access to computers and other expensive equipment, studying online is not an option for many people. - SUPPORTING IDEA 1 - In addition, lessons themselves are limited by the technology, in that it is difficult to provide practical experience online. For example, students learning chemistry would have no access to chemicals or laboratories needed to do experiments. They would only be able to study theory and simulations. Online students lack access to school facilities such as the library and the social aspects of face-to-face contact with teachers and classmates. SUPPORTING IDEA 2 AND EXAMPLE -
However, despite the disadvantages of online study, the benefits provide students with a valuable alternative to classroom learning. - CONCLUSION -
Now let's practise using what we have learnt in this step.
Activity - Writing an essay body
Here are three sample Task 2 questions. On a piece of paper, write an essay for each of these questions. When you have finished, compare your essay with a sample essay. Question 1
Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroyin g social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to ensure that it does not harm the soci al development of teenagers and young adults?
Since its invention, the Internet has changed the way teenagers and young adults communic ate. Some commentators even argue that its development has negatively affected the social skills of this group. This essay will present some ideas about why this is seen as dangerous and how we can ensure that its impact in this area is minimized. The Internet can lead to a lack of social skills in several areas. As an activity which is usually done alone, prolonged use of the I nternet can lead to a feeling of isolation an d detachment from the world. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to these feelings as they have not developed strong peer groups and often lack emotional strength. Excessive use of the Internet could lead to the inability to communicate effectively with other people in face-to-face situations and often comes at the expense of more social activities such as meeting with friends. One solution to combat the negative effects of the Internet on young people is to ensure they are not overusing it. Limits should be placed on the amount of use and other forms of recreational activity should be encouraged. Another strategy would be to ensure young people have ‘Internet-free’ days and undertake activities that promote social skills, for example, joining youth or sports clubs. In summary, it can be seen that over-exposure to the Internet can be dangerous to young people. Specifically, it could harm the development of social skills at a crucial time in their lives. We should all try to ensure that this does not happen before it becomes a major issue in our society.
Question 2
In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150?
To live a longer life has been a dream for countless years. With the development o f science and technology, it might be possible for people to l ive for one hundred and fifty y ears in the near future. However, in my opinion, it may not be beneficial for people to do so. Undoubtedly, there are some major advantages for increased human lifespan. Firstly, people could enjoy longer lives and do more of the things they want, such as trying different lifestyles. They could spend more time with their family and even watch their children grow to old age. In addition, people could contribute more if they lived longer lives, especially scientists an d other valuable members of society. For example, if Edison had lived longer, he might have invented more things for us or Mozart might have produced more wonderful music. Nevertheless, there could be many disadvantages if people lived to o ne hundred and fifty. Firstly, people might be unhealthy in their later years and may be afflicted by painful diseases such as arthritis. Additionally, there may be ethical questions involved. Will everyone be able to live for one hundred and fifty years – or only the citizens of developed countries? Another factor is that an inflated elderly population would cause many problems for society. For example, it would place great strain on the social security system – a situation already developing in countries such as Japan. Finally, the ove rpopulation of the earth could result in c atastrophic damage to the earth’s ecosystem and could lead to ecological disaster. In conclusion, I believe that the disadvantages for people living for one hundred and fifty years far outweigh the advantages. Therefore this development would be a largely negative one for our society.
Question 3
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies , is very popular in some countries. Those who practise traditional medicine claim that it is better than modern medicine
in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
Traditional medicine is growing in popularity and many people are now using methods such as acupuncture and herbal remedies to maintain and strengthen their health. Many of those who have experienced traditional medicine believe that it is more effective than modern medicine. I completely agree with this viewpoint. Traditional medicine has many advantages over modern medicine. Firstly, traditional medicine uses natural ingredients such as herbs and other plants. Medical research has shown that these natural substances cause less or no harmful side effects on the body. On the other hand, modern medicine relies on the use of artificially developed chemicals and drugs, which could be toxic to the body. In addition, traditional medicine looks at both the mind and body. It aims to cure the patient, but also offers a variety of methods to improv e the lifestyle and overall wellbeing of the patient in the long term. However, modern medicine uses drugs designed to treat diseases, but does not take into account other important factors such as the emotional condition or lifestyle of the patient. Another important point is that traditional medicine has been used safely and successfully for thousands of years in many countries. China, for example, is well-known for it’s traditional healing methods, which are now respected world-wide. However, technological advances in modern medicine are still very recent and many of the long-term effects are still unknown. To sum up, modern medicine relies heavily on artificial products that can harm our health, whereas traditional medicine is natural, safe and treats the whole body. Therefore I believe that it is far better in maintaining overall health.
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 7. In Step 7, you have learnt how to:
identify what a paragraph is identify and write the topic sentence for a paragraph write supporting ideas, evidence and/or examples write the body for an IELTS Task 2 essay.
In Step 8, we will look at how to write an effective conclusion for your Task 2 essay.
Step 8: Focusing on conclusions Introduction Welcome to Step 8! In Step 7, we looked at how to organise ideas in a paragraph and how to write the body of an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay. In Step 8, we will focus on writing conclusions.
Outcomes At the end of Step 8, you will be able to:
recognise and write an effective conclusion for an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay.
Writing Task 2 conclusions The conclusion is the last paragraph of your essay and is the final impression the exam iner has of your writing. In the conclusion of any Task 2 essay, you should always summarise the main ideas that you have presented in your essay. In the conclusion of a Discussion or Argument essay, you should also give your viewpoint. In this step, we will look at various Task 2 essays and the conclusions for those essays. Let’s start by looking at the following Discussion essay question.
Example Discussion question Over the past few decades, international travel has become more affordable and many people now choose overseas holidays. As a result, tourism is becoming a profitable industry in many countries. However, despite the benefits, tourism can also create problems. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism?
This question asks you to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. Now read the following essay written by Krystyna for this question.
Krystyna's Discussion essay
An increasing number of people are choo sing to travel overseas for their holidays. They are taking advantage of cheaper airfares and as a result, many countries are now profiting from tourism. However, tourism can also create some problems. This essay will discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages. One major benefit of tourism is that it c an develop an awareness and understanding of other cultures. Tourists can experience a way of life different from their own and when they return home, they often share their knowledge and experiences of these cultures, customs and foods with family and friends. Another advantage of tourism is the inco me it creates. Large hotels and resorts often employ local people. In addition, small businesses such as cafes and shops sell locally manufactured products such as souvenirs. In this way, the tourist industry can play a major role in providing employment to locals, thus improving a country’s economy. However, the disadvantages of tourism should not be overlooked. One serious risk of international travel is the possibility of spreading dangerous diseases. A foreign tourist who has become infected with a disease may start an epidemic when returning home or travelling to other countries. The HIV virus is one example of a disease that has now become a worldwide epidemic. Another negative aspect of tourism is the increase in the number of locals who steal from tourists. Tourists carrying visible items of value such as cameras, jewellery or cash are particularly at risk and become easy targets. To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. Despite these risks, I believe that tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and shou ld therefore be encouraged.
Look at the conclusion from this essay again. It has been divided into two parts. To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. Despite these risks, I believe that tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and should therefore be encouraged.
Summarising the main ideas Stating a viewpoint
Now let’s look at each part of the conclusion in detail.
Summarising the main ideas In any Task 2 conclusion, you should summarise the main ideas in your essay. This part of Krystyna’s conclusion is highlighted below.
To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. Despite these risks, I believe that tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and sho uld therefore be encouraged.
To summarise, you will need to recap the main ideas that you have presented in your essay. Let’s identify the main idea of each paragraph in the body of this essay.
Activity 1 - Identifying the main ideas in an essay
Read the essay on tourism again and identify the main idea of each paragraph in the body of the essay. The first one has been done for you as an example. An increasing number of people are choosing to travel overseas for their holidays. They are taking advantage of cheaper airfares and as a result, many countries are now profiting from tourism. However, tourism can also create some problems. This essay will discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages. One major benefit of tourism is that it can develop an awareness and understanding of other cultures. Tourists can experience a way of life different from their own and when they return home, they often sh are their knowledge and experiences of these cultures , customs and foods with family and friends. Another advantage of tourism is the income it creates. Large hotels and resorts often employ local people. In addition, small businesses such as cafes and shops sell locally manufactured products such as souvenirs. In this way, the tourist industry can play a major role in providing employment to locals, thus improving a country’s economy. However, the disadvantages of tourism should not be overlooked. One serious risk of international travel is the possibility of spreading dangerous diseases. A foreign tourist who has become infected with a disease may start an epidemic when returning home or travelling to other countries. The HIV virus is one example of a disease that has now become a worldwide epidemic. Another negative aspect of tourism is the increase in the number of locals who steal from tourists. Tourists carrying visible items of value such as cameras, jewellery or cash are particularly at risk and become easy targets. To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. Despite these risks, I believe that tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and shou ld therefore be encouraged.
Paragraph 2 (advantages) tourists share their experiences with family and friends tourism increases cultural awareness
Now you try!
Paragraph 3 (advantages) tourism benefits a country’s economy tourism is good for small and large businesses
Paragraph 4 (disadvantages) tourists are likely to catch the HIV virus tourism could encourage the spread of dangerous diseases
Paragraph 5 (disadvantages) some locals steal from tourists tourists should not carry cameras, jewellery or cash Below are the main ideas that Krystyna presented in her essay. Let’s look at how she has summarised them.
Tourism Tourism Tourism Tourists
increases cultural awareness - cultural benefits benefits a country’s economy - economic benefits could encourage the spread of dangerous diseases - health risks are often victims of crime - safety risks
In her conclusion Krystyna has summarised these ideas by writing:
To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety.
Now let’s look at the second part of Krystyna’s conclusion - stating her viewpoint.
Stating a viewpoint In the conclusion of a Discussion essay you should state your viewpoint. This part of Krystyna’s conclusion is highlighted below.
To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. Despite these risks, I believe that tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and shou ld therefore be encouraged.
In this example, Krystyna has stated her viewpoint by saying that she believes the advantages of tourism are more important than the disadvantages. She a lso gives a reason for her viewpoint (tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures ). Now look at the following phrases you can use to present your viewpoint.
Despite these risks,
I believe that I think that I feel that it is my opinion that in my opinion
tourism gives people valuable opportunities to learn about different cultures and should therefore be encouraged.
Now let’s look at an Argument ess ay question and the essay that Paola h as written for this question.
Example Argument question Governments spend large amounts of money on art that not all people enjoy. This money could be better spent on things that benefit the majority o f the population. Do you agree?
This question asks you to argue FOR or AGAINST government spending on art.
Paola's Argument essay Some people believe that art plays an important role in m aintaining and developing a country’s culture. Although this may be true, others argue that governments should spend money on more important areas that benefit the majority of the population. I agree with this statement to a certain extent. Maintaining and developing art is important because in many
countries, art is a significant aspect of culture . Therefore, governments should allocate money to maintain artwork and assist new artists. For example, Indigenous Australians are famous for their styles of painting. If they are given financial support from the government, this part of Australian culture can be kept alive for future generations to appreciate, not just in Australia, but in art galleries around the world. However, the majority of the population is mo re concerned with services that are basic to their survival. They believe that education is one important area that is often under-funded by governments. As a result, some schools may be forced to close because there is not enough money to pay teachers or buy resources. Another important area that deserves more funding is health care. Much of the population is unable to afford private health care and therefore uses public hospitals. However, lack of financial support from governments could cause these hospitals to become overcrowded and less able to offer quality health c are to their patients. In conclusion, government spending on art can improve our culture, yet basic needs such as education and health care are also important. Although governments should continue to fund art, I believe that priority should be given to services that assist the majority of people.
Let’s look at Paola’s conclusion again. It has been divided into two parts. In conclusion, government spending on art can improve our culture, yet basic needs such as education and health care are also important. Although governments should continue to fund art, I believe that priority should be given to services that assist the majority of people.
Summarising the main ideas Restating a viewpoint
Now let’s look at each part of the conclusion in detail.
Summarising the main ideas In the first part of her conclusion, Paola has summarised the main ideas from her essay. Remember, you should always summarise your main ideas in a Task 2 essay.
In conclusion, government spending on art can improve our culture, yet basic needs such as education and health care are also important. Although governments should continue to fund art, I believe that priority should be given to services that assist the majority of people.
Let’s look at how Paola has done this.
Activity 2 - Identifying the main ideas in an essay
Let’s look at the paragraphs in the body of Paola’s essay and identify the main idea of each. The first one has been done for you as an example.
Maintaining and developing art is important because in many countries, art is a significant aspect of culture. Therefore, governments should allocate money to maintain artwork and assist new artists. For example, Indigenous Australians are famous for their styles of painting. If they are given financial support from the government, this part of Australian culture can be kept alive for future generations to appreciate, not just in Aus tralia, but in art galleries around the world.
The main idea is located in the topic sentence, which is also the first sentence of this paragraph (Maintaining and developing art is important because in many countries, art is a significant aspect of culture).
Now you try! Identify the main idea in the following paragraph from Paola’s essay.
However, the majority of the population is mo re concerned with services that are basic to their survival. They believe that education is one important area that is often underfunded by governments. As a result, some schools may be forced to close because there is not enough money to pay teachers or buy resources. Another important area that deserves more funding is health care. Much of the population is unable to afford private health care a nd therefore uses public hospitals. However, lack of financial support from governments could cause these hospitals to become overcrowded and less able to offer quality health care to their patients.
The main idea in this paragraph is: A most of the population is concerned about survival needs B education does not receive enough financial support C health care needs more financial support From this we can see that Paola argues that art is an important part of our culture (main idea in first body paragraph) but that survival needs (main idea in second body paragraph) such as education andhealth care (supporting ideas) are more important than art. Now look at how Paola has summarised these ideas in the conclusion of her essay.
In conclusion, government spending on art can improve our culture, yet basic needs such as education and health care are also important.
Now let’s look at the second part of Paola’s conclusion - restating a viewpoint.
Restating a viewpoint In an Argument essay, you should already have stated your viewpoint in the introduction. However, you should also state your viewpoint again in the conclusion. Let’s look at how Paola has done this. Here is the introduction to Paola’s essay again. We can see that she has already pr esented her viewpoint in the introduction. This is highlighted below.
Some people believe that art plays an important role in m aintaining and developing a country’s culture. Although th is may be true, others argue that governments should spend money on more important areas that benefit the majority of the population. I partially agree with this statement.
Now look at how Paola has restated her viewpoint in the conclusion. This is highlighted below.
In conclusion, government spending on art can improve our culture, yet basic needs such as education and health care are also important. Although governments should continue to fund art, I believe that priority should be given to services that assist the majority of people.
In the last part of her conc lusion, Paola has restated the viewpoint s he presented in the introduction. Finally, let’s look at a Problem-Solution essay question and the essay that Judy has written for this question.
Example Problem-Solution question Cars have become a conveni ent and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created, and offer some practical solutions.
This question asks you to discuss some of the problems caused by the overuse of cars, and suggest ways to overcome these problems.
Judy's Problem-Solution essay Most people now use cars as their main form of transport. An increase in this trend during the last century has contributed to major traffic congestion in cities, and to a decline in the quality of our environment. This essay will look at how this is occurring and what can be done to address this problem. For many people, cars are seen as an economical and easy method of transport, and this has led to many families now owning more than one car. However, the growing number of cars on our streets has created traffic jams that occur in most major cities on a daily basis. Drivers have no choice but to wait in traffic and as a result, the use o f cars, especially in highly populated areas, is neither convenient nor economical. An increase in the use of cars has also had a negative impact on our natural environment. Pollution from toxic car fumes has led to a rapid decline in the quality of air we breathe and has also been a major contributing factor in creating the hole in our ozone layer. One practical way of solvi ng these problems is to encourage people to use public transport. One way to do this is to improve transport systems by making services cheaper and more frequent. Another way is to introduce or extend underground transport systems so traffic congestion can be avoided. In addition, councils could increase parking fees or charge people to drive into city areas. This is being done in some cities in England where drivers must display a special ticket to show that they have paid to enter a city area. To sum up, the growing use of cars is creating an enormous amount of traffic and is damaging to our environment. In order to reduce these problems, citizens could be encouraged to use alternative methods of transport.
Let’s look at the conclusion of Judy’s essay again.
To sum up, the growing use of cars is creating an enormous amount of traffic and is damaging to our environment.
Summary of the problems
In order to reduce these problems, citizens could be encouraged to use alternative methods of transport.
Summary of the solutions
In her conclusion, Judy has summarised the main ideas (i.e., the problems and solutions) that she presented in her essay. Let’s identify the main ideas that Judy used in the c onclusion of her essay.
Activity - Identifying main ideas
In her essay, Judy discusses two problems caused by the overuse of cars. Read the following paragraph from her essay and identify these problems.
For many people, cars are seen as an economical and easy method of transport, and this has led to many families now owning more than one car. However, the growing number of cars o n our streets has created traffic jams that occur in almost every city on a daily basis. Drivers have no choice but to wait in traffic and as a result, the use of cars, especially in highly populated areas, is neither convenient nor economical. An increase in the use of cars has also had a negative impact on our natural environment. Pollution from toxic car fumes has led to a rapid decline in the quality of air we breathe and has also been a major contributing factor in creating the hole in o ur ozone layer.
Type the two problems (i.e. the two main ideas) in this paragraph into the text boxes below.
and
Suggested answers The overuse of cars
creates traffic congestion has a negative effect on our natural environment.
Now look at how Judy has summarised these problems in her conclusion.
To sum up, the growing use of cars is creating an enormous amount of traffic and is damaging to our environment. In order to reduce these problems, citizens could be encouraged to use alternative methods of transport.
In her essay Judy gives one main solution to these problems. Read the following paragraph and identify the main solution.
One practical way of solvi ng these problems is to encourage people to use public transport. One way to do this is to improve transport systems by making services cheaper and more frequent. Another way is to introduce or extend underground transport systems so traffic
congestion can be avoided. In addition, councils could increase parking fees or charge people to drive into city areas. This is being done in some cities in England where drivers must display a special ticket to show that they have paid to enter a city area.
Type the solution (i.e. the main idea) in this paragraph into the text box below.
Suggested answer
people could be encouraged to use public transport.
Now look at how Judy has summarised this solution in her conclusion.
To sum up, the growing use of cars is creating an enormous amount of traffic and is damaging to our environment. In order to reduce these problems, citizens could be encouraged to use alternative methods of transport.
Note that in a Problem-Solution essay, you are not required to state your viewpoint.
Using concluding signposts All of the conclusions we have looked at have used concluding signposts. Let’s look at two examples. 1. To sum up, tourism clearly has many cultural and economic benefits, yet also brings risks that could threaten health and safety. 2. In conclusion, government spending on art can improve our culture, yet basic needs such as education and health care are also important. Using a concluding signpost is important because it shows the reader that it is the last paragraph of your essay. Below is a list of other concluding signposts that can be used at the beginning of a conclusion.
Concluding signpost
Summary of main ideas
To sum up,... To conclude,... In short,...
...the growing use of cars is creating an enormous amount of traffic and is damaging to our environment.
In brief... In summary,...
Now that we have looked at how to write a Task 2 conclusion, let’s identify the most effective conclusion for the following essay.
Activity - Identifying an effective conclusion
Read the following Argument essay question and the ess ay that Jin Tao has written for this question. Then decide which conclusion is the most effective.
Due to the influence of world-wide media such as television and computers, the gap between cultures is decreasing. The introduction of this global culture is of great benefit to the world. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint? Jin Tao's Argument essay
The international mass media has for the first time resulted in the majority of people sharing the same experiences. I agree that this is closing the gap between cultures and is bringing many benefits worldwide. One advantage of world-wide media is that films and plays, as well as famous musicians and sports people can be appreciated and celebrated around the world. Many people believe that sharing these aspects will create a global culture that brings people closer together. Another advantage is that issues such as human rights become internationally recognised. The media draws attention to countries that try to keep these crimes hidden. As a result, global culture can help to raise people’s awareness of human rights and this may help to reduce or even eliminate these crimes in the future. In addition, the international media has provided a valuable educational tool for children and adults alike. Foreign television teams keep the public up-to-date with news and images of different cultures and ways of life. Thus, people can educate themselves about these cultures not just by reading books but by watching news programs anddocumentaries. In this way, global
culture will bring valuable educational benefits.
Now decide which one of the following conclusions for Jin Tao’s essay is the most effective.
In conclusion, the international media serves to educate and involve people in cultural and political issues. It also encourages communication between countries and promotes freedom of information. Therefore, I believe that a global culture has many benefits. To sum up, the international media serves to educate and involve people in cultural and political issues. However, the negative aspects of global culture created by this international media should not be overlooked. To conclude, the international media plays an important role in raising people’s awareness of important political issues such as human rights. I therefore believe the global culture that the media creates has many advantages. In conclusion, the international media serves to educate and involve people in cultural and political issues. I therefore believe that the global culture created by this media has brought and will continue to bring many benefits worldwide. The last conclusion is effective because Jin Tao has:
summarised all the main ideas from the essay
In conclusion, the international media serves to educate and involve people in cultural and political issues. I therefore believe that the global culture created by this media has brought many benefits worldwide.
restated his viewpoint (which supports the viewpoint he gave in his introduction).
In conclusion, the international media serves to educate and involve people in cultural and political issues. I therefore believe that the global culture created by this media has brought many benefits worldwide.
Activity - True or False quiz
Decide if the following are True or False.
True
False
In the first part of the conclusion you should summarise the main ideas from your essay. You should use a concluding signpost at the beginning of your conclusion. You shouldn’t include new ideas in the conclusion. You must always state your viewpoint in the conclusion. In your conclusion, you can summarise the main ideas from your essay by repeating them word for word.
Activity - Writing a conclusion
Write a conclusion for the following Task 2 Argument essay that Eva has written.
Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as the Olympic Games and world cup competitions have played an increasingly important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?
Eva's essay Since ancient times, sport has played an important role in our lives. Today, international sports events such as The Olympic Games and the World Cup are popular. Some people argue that these international sports events are an enormous waste of time and money. However, I strongly disagree.
Firstly, international sports events encourage people to be more accepting of different nationalities. All athletes, regardless of race or colour, have the opportunity to compete for their country. As a result, international sports events develop equality and friendships between people and countries. Another positive aspect of international sports is that competitors have the chance to learn different techniques to improve their own sk ills. For example, some countries may have different training methods. However, during international sports competitions, individual competitors or teams are able to study different or more advanced training skills from other countries. In addition, international sports events can improve the host nation’s economic development. The large number of athletes, reporters and sports fans from around the world would undoubtedly bring considerable profits to s ervice and trade industries of thehost nation. However, some people argue that it is expensive a nd time consuming to build stadiums for international sports events. Yet, these sports areas can also be used for national and local sports in the future. Therefore, these facilities benefit the community for many years.
Now type a conclusion for Eva ’s essay in the text box. Then, click on the Check button to compare your conclusion to Eva's.
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 8. In Step 8, you have learnt how to:
recognise and write an effective conclusion for an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay.
In Step 9, we will focus on reviewing and editing Task 2 essays.
Step 9: Reviewing your essay Introduction Welcome to Step 9! In Step 8, we looked at writing conclusions for IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. In Step 9, we will concentrate on reviewing your essay.
Outcomes By the end of Step 9, you w ill be able to:
review the presentation, content and language of your Task 2 essay edit your writing for accuracy of grammar, vocabulary, punctuation and spelling.
Reviewing Reviewing is an important part of the writing process. You should do this after you have planned and written your essay. Remember, this should not take longer than five (5) minutes. When you review an essay, you need to re-examine the:
presentation content language.
Let’s look at these in more detail.
Reviewing for presentation Presentation is important. To check your presentation you need to check that:
you have divided your essay into paragraphs your handwriting is neat and easy to read you have made corrections neatly you have added words or sentences in the correct format.
Paragraphs You should make sure that each paragraph can be clearly identified. The best way to do this is to leave a line between each paragraph. Look at the two examples of a sample essay below. The essay on the left is clearly divided into four distinct paragraphs. This is the way you should present your essay.
The use of computers in modern l ife has resulted in changes in society. Some of these
The use of computers in modern l ife has resulted in changes in society. Some of these
changes have been to the advantage of society and others have not. This essay will outline both sides of the issue. On the one hand, computers are useful tools offering several benefits to people. Firstly, they enable machines to do dangerous work instead of humans. For example, in computerised car assembly factories, robots can do hard and dangerous work without stopping. In addition, computers have improved the speed of data processing helping scientists to further develop modern technology. People can go to the moon using computers to control the orbit of the spaceship, the timing of fuel injection and other vital calculations. Moreover, people can shop and book aeroplane or theatre tickets without leaving home. However, computers can be used in many harmful ways. For example, computers can be used to steal people’s private personal information. Also, with the development of the Internet, previously controlled material such as pornography has become more widespread making it easier for children to access it. Furthermore, many people have lost their jobs because computers can shorten some processes in factories, resulting in fewer workers being required. To conclude, computers are being used in more areas of life such as communication in the workplace and at home. The result is that people are relying more on computers in their daily lives. Despite the disadvantages, it is highly likely that the use o f computers will increase due to the various benefits computers have to offer.
changes have been to the advantage of society and others have not. This essay will outline both sides of the issue. On the one hand, computers are useful tools offering several benefits to people. Firstly, they enable machines to do dangerous work instead of humans. For example, in computerised car assembly factories, robots can do hard and dangerous work without stopping. In addition, computers have improved the speed of data processing helping scientists to further develop modern technology. People can go to the moon using computers to control the orbit of the spaceship, the timing of fuel injection and other vital calculations. Moreover, people can shop and book aeroplane or theatre tickets without leaving home. However, computers can be used in many harmful ways. For example, computers can be used to steal people’s private personal information. Also, with the development of the Internet, previously controlled material such as pornography has become more widespread making it easier for children to access it. Furthermore, many people have lost their jobs because computers can shorten some processes in factories, resulting in fewer workers being required. To conclude, computers are being used in more areas of life such as communication in the workplace and at home. The result is that people are relying more on computers in their daily lives. Despite the disadvantages, it is highly likely that the use of computers will increase due to the various benefits computers have to offer.
Handwriting During the test, aim to write as clearly as possible. Untidy handwriting or handwriting that is difficult to understand will affect the examiner’s ability to asse ss your essay. You can help the examiner by:
printing your letters if your 'joined-up' or 'running' writing is difficult to read using large letters if your writing is usually small always writing on the line
ensuring all the English letters that go above the line ('b' is an example) or below the line ('p' is an example) actually reach some way above or below the line.
Making corrections Don't waste time rubbing out mistakes made in penc il with an eraser, or using l iquid paper if you're writing in pen. When yo u make a mistake, or if you find a word that is difficult to read, simply cross it out as in the example below.
Example The colonisation of space will should be a high prore priority for all governments. The words 'will' and 'prore' in the above sentence have been crossed out, but we can st ill see the original word underneath.
Adding information If you only need to add one or two words you can place a add the word.
at the point where you would like to
If you need to add sentences, the best way is to draw an asterisk (*) at the point where you would like to add information. Then at th e bottom of that page or at the end of the essay, draw the asterisk again and next to it write the wor ds, sentence or paragraph you want to in clude. This is usually neater than adding the extra information to the body of the essay. Let’s look at how Jurgen did this.
Example question There are too many people on this planet, so it is logical to look for other planets to colonise. Is the colonisation of space the answer to overpopulation?
Main text of Jurgen’s answer with the correction at the bottom of the page Colonisation of space may be an answer to overpopulation. However, there could be some problems living on other planets. Firstly, it woul d be difficult to establish farms and other forms of agriculture on other planets*. Secondly, not many people would want to live in such places...
* because most of the planets close to earth cannot support any form of
animal or plant life
Reviewing for content There are three questions to ask yourself about the content of your essay: 1. Have I written enough words? 2. Are my ideas clear and relevant to the topic? 3. Have I supported my ideas with evidence and examples?
1 Word length You must write at least 250 words so your review should include a quick word count.
2 Clear and relevant points You need to ensure that the reader can understand you r ideas. During the review process, you may wish to add signposts or other cohesive devices to your writing to make your meaning clearer. If you find you have included any irrelevant ideas in your essay, now is the time to om it these sentences. You should do this by neatly crossing out the irrelevant idea or sentence. Make sure that by doing this, you are not reducing your word count to less than 250 words. Let’s practise identifying relevant and irrelevant sentences in a sample es say.
Activity - Deciding on relevance
Read the following Task 2 question and the sentences written in response to it. Decide whether the sentences are relevant to the topic or not. The first one has been done for you as an example.
There are too many people on this planet, so it is logical to look for other planets to colonise. Is the colonisation of space the answer to overpopulation?
Yes
No
1 People have always been fascinated by the idea of colonising space. 2 On the moon, astronauts explored the landscape and conducted scientific experiments. 3 The question of whether other planets could be home to humans is becoming more urgent as the population continues to explode on Earth. 4 In the 1970s countries such as India tried and failed to restrain massive population growth.
3 Evidence and examples When you review your essay, you should ensure that you have included examples and/or evidence. If you haven't, you should quickly add the information using the asterisk (*) method. Many students say they can't think o f examples and evidence for their ideas. However, examples and evidence provide vital support to your argument, so you need to include them. Even a weak example is better than no example at all. Let's consider an example from Pierre's essay that answers the question on space colonisation.
Question There are too many people on this planet, so it is logical to look for other planets to colonise. Is the colonisation of space the answer to overpopulation?
Paragraph without examples/evidence
Everyone agrees that the world is overpopulated and that something has to be done about this problem. However, this problem is rarely addressed by national governments. International organisations urgently need to discuss this problem.
Pierre's response could be improved by adding so me examples which have been highlighted in the paragraph below.
Paragraph with examples/evidence Everyone agrees that the world is overpopulated and that something has to be done. However, apart from a few countries such as China and India, overpopulation has rarely been addressed by national governments. International organisations, in particular the United Nations and the G8 group of developed countries, urgently need to discuss this problem.
Look at how Pierre added this information at the bottom of the page.
Everyone agrees that the world is overpopulated and that something has to be done about this problem. However, * this problem is rarely addressed by national governments. International organisations, ** urgently need to discuss this problem.
* apart from a few countries such as China and India ** in particular the United Nations and the G8 group of developed countries,
Activity - Adding evidence and examples
Add some examples to the following paragraph on the topic of studying at university. For this activity you should use your own ideas, so there is a variety of possible answers. When you have finished, click on the Check button to compare your answer.
There has been increased competition to enter university during the last few decades. For example, courses such as and have become popular because people believe that they offer good job prospects for students when they graduate. Other courses in subjects such as have become less popular as job opportunities in these areas slowly disappear. Similarly, certain universities remain popular while others fall behind. In my country, the University of is always a popular choice for students, while the University of Here is one possible answer:
has difficulty attracting students.
There has been increased competition to enter university during the last few decades. For example, courses such as business and accounting have become popular because people believe that they offer good job prospects for students when they graduate. Other courses in subjects such as sociology have become less popular as job opportunities in these areas slowly disappear. Similarly, certain universities remain popular while others fall behind. In my country, the University of London is always a popular choice for students, while the University of Nottingham has difficulty attracting students.
Reviewing the language When reviewing the language, you should concentrate on these main areas:
grammar vocabulary punctuation and spelling style.
Below is a checklist for each category. For more information about these, see the Focus on Language section.
Grammar During a grammar edit, you should check such common problem areas as:
articles agreement (subject-verb, modifier/quantifier + noun) verb tense signpost words pronoun referencing modals quantifiers.
If you need to review any o f these grammar points, you should go to the relevant section in the Focus on Language - Improving your accuracy: vocabulary and sentence structure.
Vocabulary While reviewing the vocabulary, ask yourself the following questions.
Have I used the correct word and the correct part of s peech? Have I varied my vocabulary as much as possible?
Have I over-used signpost words? For example, some signposts such as, however and because are often over-used? Have I used modifiers?
If you need to review any o f these points, you should go to the relevant section in the Focus on Language - Improving your range: vocabulary and sentence structure and Expressing your ideas effectively.
Punctuation and spelling Ask yourself the following questions to check your punctuation and spelling.
Have I used commas, full stops, colons correctly? Have I put capital letters on the right words? Is my spelling accurate? Sometimes when we are writing quickly we make silly mistakes that can be picked up in the edit.
Style You need to ensure that your style is formal and academic, so ask yourself the following questions when you are reviewing.
Have I used academic vocabulary? Have I used the passive voice where appropriate? Have I only used first person personal pronouns to express an opinion?
If you need to review any of these points, you should look for the relevant section in the Focus on Language - Using an academic style.
Activity - Reviewing an essay You should be writing a Task 2 essay every day. When you finish check it for presentation, content and language.
Summary This brings us to the end of Step 9. In Step 9, you have learnt how to:
identify what to look for when reviewing your Task 2 essay.
In Step 10, you will learn how your Task 2 essay is assessed.
Step 10: Understanding the assessment criteria Introduction Welcome to Step 10! In Step 9, we talked about revising and editing yo ur essay. In Step 10, we will discover how the IELTS examiner assesses your Task 2 essay. Then we will w ill look at some extracts from learners’ essays and assess them together.
Outcomes At the end of Step 10, you will be able to:
understand how the examiner assesses your essay examine and analyse extracts from essays using IELTS Writing Task 2 assessment criteria.
How your essay is assessed In Task 2 of the IELTS Writing test you will be presented with an essay question. As you have learnt in Step 3, there are three types of essays you may be asked to write:
Problem-Solution Argument Dicussion
Let’s start with the most important question about w riting for IELTS - what are the examiners looking for? Your IELTS Writing Task 2 is assessed according to four assessment criteria: Assessment Criteria Task Response Coherence and Cohesion Lexical Resource
Grammatical Range and Accuracy Now let's examine these four criteria in more detail.
Task Response Task Response assesses two main aspects of your writing:
the formulation formulation and and development development of of a position that is relevant in answer to a given question the effectiveness effectiveness of of the evidence evidence used used to support your ideas ideas and/or and/or examples examples given. given.
Let’s look at how these criteria are used to assess an IELTS Task 2 essay. Look at the following Task 2 question.
Life has become much more stressful compared to our parents’ generation. As a result, stressstress related illnesses are on the increase around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and wha t do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
Now look at Sawako’s Task 2 essay answering this question. First, let’s read it to see how she has formulated and developed her position position..
Formulating and developing a position Consider the structure of Sawako's essay. By looking at her introduction, topic sentences and conclusion, we can c an determine how well she has formulated and developed her position in relation to the essay question.
Sawako’s essay
Structure
A Stress is a harmful phenomenon that can cause various kinds of problems in our society. Stress-related problems such as stomach ulcers, suicide and violence are good examples. This essay will describe the reasons for the presence of stress in our society and will explain how this problem can be overcome.
Introduction:
B There are different causes of stress. At school and in the office, people are faced with various
Topic Sentence 1: Reasons for the problem
Reference to the specific question (Position)
stressful competitive situations. From their early schooling years to their professional life, people spend a lot of time trying to be succes sful either by achieving high grades or by moving up the work ladder. ladder. Moreover, even at home, people might feel stress when they watch too many advertisements on television. They might find it difficult to cope with the pressure of wanting to buy different products and their inability to do so. Mobile phone companies, for example, persuade young people to change their phones regularly to keep up with the new technology. As a result, they start spending a lot of money on their phones and may even find themselves in a debt crisis that causes more stress.
Supporting idea 1 (Reason 1)
C In order to overcome this problem, relaxation and less exposure to stressful situations need to be considered. It is effective to try to release as much stress as you can from time to time. For example, sleeping for a long time on the weekend or spending time doing your favourite hobby is relaxing and therefore reduces stress. In addition, people should try to avoid situations that may become a source of stress later. One way to do this w ould be to pay less attention to TV commercials and have more realistic expectations of the products they can afford.
Topic Sentence 2: Solutions to the problem
D In conclusion, it can be seen that people can suffer stress for different reasons like competition and the negative influence of TV advertisements. Therefore, people need to be aware of this issue and try to overcome the problem. Unless people start avoiding and releasing stress, the problems that this phenomenon creates will continue to grow.
Conclusion Re-stating the position
Supporting idea 2 (Reason 2)
Supporting idea 1 (Solution 1)
Supporting idea 2 (Solution 2)
Teachers Comments In this essay Sawako has decided to structure her essay as follows: Paragraph A - Introduction
Paragraph B - Reasons for the problems
Paragraph C - Solutions to the problem
Paragraph D - Conclusion The structure of Sawako's essay shows that she has responded to the question appropriately. She has referred to the specific question by explaining why stress has become a problem and how to overcome it. This has been formulated in the introduction, developed in the body and finally reinforced in the conclusion.
Ideas, Evidence and Examples Now let's consider how the ideas, evidence and examples are assessed in a Task 2 essay. The ideas you use in your essay are important because each idea helps to develop your position. Your ideas must be relevant to the question and be supported by evidence. Examples can also be used to give more support and to clarify your ideas. If you need to review the concepts of evidence and examples, go to Step 7. Let's look at Sawako's essay again and read the comments made by Sue, an IELTS teacher regarding her use of ideas, evidence and examples.
Paragraph A - Introduction Stress is a harmful phenomenon that can cause various kinds of problems in our society. Stressrelated problems such as stomach ulcers, suicide and violence are good examples. This essay will describe the reasons for the presence of stress in our society and will explain how this problem can be overcome.
"This is a good introduction as Sawako states her idea clearly, that is, thatstress is a harmful phenomenon. This idea is directly linked to the topic of the question so it is relevant. She then gives three examples of how stress is harmful (stomach ulcers, suicide and violence). This gives the reader a better idea of the types of problems that stress causes. Finally, she refers to the specific question by stating the purpose of the essay."
Paragraph B - Reasons for the problems There are different causes of stress. At school and in the office, people are faced with various stressful competitive situations. From their early schooling years to their professional life, people spend a lot of time trying to be success ful either by achieving high grades or by moving up the work ladder. Moreover, even at home, people might feel stress when they watch too many
advertisements on television. They might find it difficult to cope with the pressure of wanting to buy different products and their inability to do so. Mobile phone companies, for example, persuade young people to change their phones regularly to keep up with the new technology. As a result, they start spending a lot of money on their phones and may even find themselves in a debt crisis that causes more stress.
"Sawako presents two supporting ideas that develop her topic sentence, that is, reasons for the problem. The first supporting idea is that at school and in the office, people are faced with various stressful competitive situations . She supports this with evidence: ...people spend a lot of time trying to be successful either by achieving high grades or by moving up the work ladder . The second supporting idea is that at home, people might feel stress when they watch too many advertisements on television. She supports this with evidence(...the pressure of wanting to buy different products and their inability to do so ) and anexample about mobile phone companies." "Sawako has supported her topic sentence (main idea) with relevant evidence and examples. This makes her paragraph effective and develops her position."
Paragraph C - Solution to the problem In order to overcome this problem, re laxation and less exposure to stressful situations need to be considered. It is effective to try to release as much stress as you can from time to time. For example, sleeping for a long time on the w eekend or spending time doing your favourite hobby without thinking of stressful things is helpful to reduce stress. In addition, people should try to avoid situations that may become a source of stress later. They need to pay less attention to TV commercials and have more realistic expectations of the products they can afford.
"In this paragraph, Sawako presents two supporting ideas that develop her second topic sentence, that is, solutions to overcome the problem. The first supporting idea or solution is that people should try to release stress. She gives the examples of sleeping ordoing your favourite hobby . The second supporting idea or solution is that people should try to avoid stressful situations. For this idea, she provides evidence: ...pay less attention to to TV commercials and have more realistic expectations of the products they can afford . The support given is all relevant and therefore makes Paragraph C effective. "
Paragraph D - Conclusion In conclusion, it can be seen that people can suffer stress for different reasons like competition and the negative influence of TV advertisements. Therefore, people need to be aware of th is issue and try to overcome the problem. Unless people start avoiding and releasing stress , the problems that this phenomenon creates will continue to grow.
"In the conclusion, Sawako summarises the main ideas of her essay (reasons for and solutions to the problem). She also states her viewpoint in the last sentence. This makes her conclusion effective and relevant to the essay question."
You can see how the use of evidence and examples gives your ideas more power. It connects ideas to the real world. Evidence and ex amples support and give strength to ideas.
Activity - Formulating and developing a position
Let's look at another student’s answer for the same question on stress. As you read, outline the overall structure of Mustapha’s essay by choosing from the components below. For this activity, focus only on the highlighted sections. After completing the text boxes, answer the questions below.
Supporting idea Reference to Specific Question Topic Sentence
Introduction Summary of Main Ideas Conclusion
If you would like to see the essay question again, click on the button below. Life has become much more stressful compared to our parents’ generation. As a result, stressrelated illnesses are on the increase around the w orld. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
Mustapha’s essay
Structure
In rece nt tim es, life has become more stressful than it has ever been. People encounter a great deal of pressure both in the workplace and in the family because they need to face far more problems than before.
In the first place, people have to endure more stress in their working lives because of the lack of job opportunities and increasing levels of unemployment. T hey have to improve their skills and upgrade their knowledge in order to keep up with new technology and face new challenges in the workplace. Other
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wise, they may not meet the requirements of their job and may eventually be fired from their company.
In the second place, people who establish a family are also suffering from stress. Because of the rapid improvement in living standards, the cost of living has also increased. This means that everyday expenses, such as food and household bills, are more expensive. Supp orting the family on one salary has become increasingly difficult. As a result, in most western societies both parents have to go out to work in order to support their family. Consequently, many children do not spend much
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time with their parents and this causes strain in their relationship.
In brief, people are leading more stressful lives than in the past, which deeply affects their family life.
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Introduction. Reference to only one part of the question (problems related to stress) Topic Sentence. Reasons for Problem 1 Supporting Idea Topic Sentence. Reasons for Problem 2 Supporting Idea Supporting Idea Conclusion. Reference to only one main idea (pressure in the family)
1 Has Mustapha formulated a position that is relevant to the question given?
Yes No 2 Has he developed his position effectively?
Yes No 3 Why / Why not?
Mustapha has formulated a position which does not refer to all the specific question. He needs to address both the reasons for the problems and the solutions to overcome those problems. Therefore, this essay should prov ide a reference to the complete question in the introduction an d solutions to the problems in the body. This could be done in two ways: 1. by adding another paragraph to the body For example: Introduction o o Reasons for Problem 1 Reasons for Problem 2 o o Solutions to both problems o Conclusion 2. by including solutions to each problem to both Paragraphs 2 and 3 For example: o Introduction o Reasons for and solutions to Problem 1 Reasons for and solutions to Problem 2 o Conclusion o Mustapha's conclusion is not effective as he has only addressed the effect of stress on family life. A good conclusion, however, summarises all main ideas and states your viewpoint. Therefore, Mustapha has not developed a position that is relevant in answer to the essay question given.
Activity - Identifying the ideas, evidence and examples
Here is Mustapha’s essay again. As you read, look at each sentence in the body section and decide whether these sentences are showing supporting ideas, evidence , or examples . Note down this information in the text boxes and then answer the questions below. Click here to see the structure of his essay again. If you would like to see the essay question again, click on the button below. Life has become much more stressful compared to our parents’ generation. As a result, stressrelated illnesses are on the increase around the w orld. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
Mustapha’s essay
In recent times, life has become more stressful than it has ever been. People encounter a great deal of pressure both in the workplace and in the family because they need to face far more problems than before. In the first place, people have to endure more stress in their working lives because of the lack of job opportunities and increasing levels of unemployment. They have to improve their skills and upgrade their knowledge in order to keep up with new technology and face new challenges in the workplace. Otherwise, they may not meet the requirements of their job and may eventually be fired from their company. In the second place, people who establish a family are also suffering from stress. Because of the rapid improvement in living standards, the cost of living has also increased. This means that everyday expenses, such as food and household bills, are more expensive. Supporting the family on one salary has become increasingly difficult. As a result, in most western societies both parents have to go out to work in order to support their family. Consequently, many children do not spend much time with their parents and this causes strain in their relationship. In brief, people are leading more stressful lives than in the past, which deeply affects their family life.
Ideas, Evidence, Examples
1 Do Mustapha's evidence and examples provide good support for his paragraphs?
Yes No 2 Do the ideas, evidence and examples help him answer the question properly?
Yes No 3 Why / Why not?
Sue’s comment "As we have already seen, Mustapha has formulated and developed a position that does not answer the question appropriately. He has, however, provided good evidence and examples to support the ideas he has given." Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Idea 1 (Problem 1) - pressure in the workplac e Idea 2 (Problem 2) - presure in the family
Note that Mustapha's introduction answers only part of the question, the solutions to the problems are not addressed. Paragraph 2 - Reasons for Problem 1
Stress in the workplace due to lack of job opportunities and increasing levels of stress: o Supporting idea: need to improve their skills and kno wledge. Evidence: a lack of skills and knowledge may lead to you losing your job.
Mustapha has provided good support for this paragraph. Paragraph 3 - Reasons for Problem 2
Stress in the family: Supporting idea 1: the improvement in living standards has led to the increase in o the cost of living
Evidence and example: an increase in everyday expenses (e.g. food and household bills) Supporting idea 2: a single income cannot support the family Evidence: both parents need to work to support their families Evidence: children spend less time with their parents leading to stress and strain in the family
o
Mustapha's evidence and examples support his topic sentence appropriately. Paragraph 4 - Conclusion Even though Mustapha has created a conclusion relevant to the essay he has written, this does not include any reference to the solutions to the problems related to stress. Therefore, it is not a suitable conclusion.
Activity - Assessing Task Response
Let's look at another essay question and answer. This time you will need to assess how well Pierre has formulated and developed his position and also how effective his ideas, evidence and examples are. First you will need to look at each sentence and complete the text boxes by choosing from the components below. After completing the text boxes, answer the questions that follow.
Supporting idea Reference to Specific Question Topic Sentence Example
Introduction Summary of Main Ideas Conclusion Evidence
Look at the following Task 2 question:
Teenage offenders should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. Do you agree?
Pierre's essay
Structure
The teenage years can be a difficult and challenge time for young people. Yet, if during this years, teenagers commit a crime, i believe they should not have specially treatment because of their age. This
essay will outline the reason s for treating teenage offenders in the same way as adult criminals.
Firstly all the criminals deserve to be punished. we cannot make allowances for age because the result of crime is the same, whether the criminal is fifteen or fifty. For example, if a teenager murders someone, the victim is s till dead, no matter who did it or why it was done. If all criminals was punished equally, our society would be a safer place to live.
Unfortunately, there have been significant increase in the number of you ng people committing crimes in recent years. We cannot ignore the fact that a person who breaks the law as a teenager will probably continue to commit crimes as an adult if they are not stopped and punished. If they are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is better chance they will be rehabilitated and avoid a life of crime.
lastly it is easier and less expensive to treat all criminals equally, regardless of age. The government would save money by being able to abolish special court systems for younger people such as the Children's court.
In conclusion I would again like to state my strong opposition to the system of treating teenage offenders different from adult criminals. Crime is unacceptable and require strong punishment regardless of age.
1 Has Pierre formulated and developed a position that is relevant to the question given? Yes No
2 Do his evidence and examples prov ide good support for his paragraphs and help him answer the question appropriately? Yes No
3 Why / Why not?
Tutor's comments on Pierre's Task Response: Pierre's essay The teenage years can be a difficult and challenge time for young people. Yet, if during this years, teenagers commit a crime,i believe they should not have specially treatment because of their age. This essay will outline the reasons for treating teenage offenders in the same way as adult criminals.
Structure Introduction: General Statement Reference to specific question
"This is an effective introduction. I t provides a general statement about the topic of the question and it also refers to the specific question by fo rmulating a position that is relevant to the question given."
Firstly all the criminals deserve to be punished. we cannot make allowances for age because the result of crime is the same, whether the criminal is fifteen or fifty. For example, if a teenager murders someone, the victim is still dead, no matter who did it or why it was done. If all criminals was punished equally, our society would be a safer place to live.
Topic Sentence: Reason 1 Supporting idea Example Pierre's opinion
"This paragraph includes a topic sentence (reason 1) which helps to develop his position and summarises the main idea of the paragraph. In addition, Pierre has added a supporting idea and an example that clarifies that idea. This provides good support to his topic sentence. As well, Pierre has inserted his opinion in relation to this first reason."
Unfortunately, there have been significant increase in the number of young people committing crimes in recent years. We cannot ignore the fact that a person who breaks the law as a teenager will probably continue to commit crimes as an adult if they are not stopped and punished. If they are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is better chance they will be rehabilitated and avoid a life of crime.
No topic Sentence: Reason 2 Supporting idea
Evidence
"There is no topic sentence for this paragraph. The first sentence cannot act as a topic sentence because it does not summarise the ma in idea of the paragraph. A good topic sentence cou ld be In addition, criminals tend to keep commiting crimes until they are caught . The rest of the paragraph provides a supporting idea and adds evidence to this idea."
lastly it is easier and less expensive to treat all criminals equally, regardless of age. The government would save money by being able to abolish special court systems for younger people such as the Children's court.
Topic Sentence: Reason 3 Supporting idea Example
"This paragraph has a good topic sentence and a relevant supporting idea which also provides an example. However, it would be more effective to inclu de more evidence to support this idea."
In conclusion I would again like to state my strong opposition to the system of treating teenage offenders different from adult criminals. Crime is unacceptable and require strong punishment regardless of age.
Conclusion: Statement of Pierre's viewpoint Comment on his viewpoint
"The conclusion does not summarise the main ideas included in the essay. An effective conclusion generally starts with a summary of ideas and then states the viewpoint of the essay's writer. As seen in Step 8, a conlu sion could end with a comment about that viewpoint, a recommendation or a prediction." "Overall, Pierre's Task Response is adequate. He has responded to all parts of the question. His ideas are relevant to this question and help to develop his position. He has also supported each of his ideas with evidence and examples. However, he would need to improve P aragraph 3 of his essay by adding a topic sentence which summarises the second reason he gives."
Coherence and Cohesion Your writing is assessed on the criteria cohesion and coherence. Cohesion involves connecting sentences and ideas using techniques such as pronoun referencing and signposts. Coherence involves organising information logically and in paragraphs so that it is easy for the reader to follow. Therefore, cohesion and coherence refer to :
how well your writing flows how well your writing is organised how easy it is for your reader to understand your ideas.
This criterion can be summarised as how clearly your writing communicates its ideas. You can communicate better by making sure y our ideas follow a clear, step -by-step pattern both in a paragraph and when linking ideas between paragraphs. Let’s look at another extract answering the questi on about stress. The paragraph discusses solutions to stress-related problems. It contains a number of ideas supported by examples of activities that will help relieve stress. Let’s look at how well the paragraph communicates its ideas.
Extract from Jin Tao’s essay To overcome the problem of stress, it is important to learn everything you can about it. One way of finding how to combat it could be reading widely about the problem. Another way to fight stress is to take vitamins, although expensive vitamin supplements may be a waste of time. Finally, talking about stressful things to those closest to you may help get rid of stress. This could mean sharing with family, friends or even your dog or cat.
The paragraph uses pronoun referencing to connect sentences smoothly with each other. The pronoun it refers back to the problem of stress and the pronoun this refers back to talking about stressful things to those closest to you. The use of pronoun referencing makes Jin Tao's ideas flow and therefore makes his paragraph fluent. The paragraph also uses signpost words to guide the reader. These words and expressions prepare the reader for one solution, then another solution and finally the last solution. The signpost words are: one way , another way , finally The use of signposts helps to link ideas logically.
You can use these techniques to make your writing fluent.
Pronoun referencing uses pronouns (e.g. ‘it’) and demonstrative pronouns (e.g. ‘this’) to refer backwards or forwards to ideas in a text. This helps the reader to follow an idea throughout the text. Signposts are words or phrases to s how you the relationship between parts of the text. In the sample above the signposts lead us throu gh a number of solutions in a logical sequence.
Activity - Pronoun referencing and Signposts
Read the following extract. It also suggests solutions to stress-related problems. Let’s look at how well the paragraph communicates its ideas by using pronoun referencing and signposts.
Extract from Jane ’s essay Is there any escape from the problems of modern stress? Finding your own way of releasing stress is recommended. Any leisure activities, such as a hobby, dining out and even screaming, will help you to get rid of stress. Trying to be optimistic is always recommended. One of the most important things is to have good friends, comrades etc. Telling your family or teachers is another way of getting rid of stress. Pets, such as a dog or cat, can also reduce stress.
1. Can you find any examples of pronoun referencing in this extract?
Yes No 2. Can you find any examples of signposts in this extract?
Yes No
3. Is this paragraph cohesive and coherent?
Yes No 1. There is no use of pronoun referencing to refer back to an idea. 2. There is only one signpost word .
‘One of the most important things’.... It appears in the middle of the paragraph instead of at the beginning where you would expect to find it. ‘Also’ and ‘another way’ are examples of signpost words, but the y are not at the beginning of the sentence, which would help to organise the ideas better.
3. This paragraph is not coherent and cohesive . It has good ideas and suggests a number of solutions to the problem of stress. However, it does not communicate its message very well .
Ideas jump from one to another so the writing does not ‘flow’ and meaning is not communicated smoothly to the reader. The paragraph also reads like a list. The use of etc. reinforces the idea of a ‘list’ and should be avoided in academic writing.
Now lets look at a different version of Jane ’s paragraph. There are three examples of pronoun referencing and five signpost words . Type them in the box below.
There are a number of solutions to the problems of stress in modern day life. First of all, it is recommended that you find your own way of fighting stress. One of the most important methods of dealing with stress is to have good friends and colleagues. This means that you can confide in family and friends when you are feeling under pressure. Furthermore, studies have shown that pets, such as a dog or a cat, can help alleviate the problem. Being physically active and participating in leisure activities, such as hobbies and dining out, also help reduce stress. Another solution is to have a positive mental attitude and be optimistic.
4. What are the examples of pronoun referencing and signposts in this extract?
Jane communicates her message very well. There are three examples of pronoun referencing:
this refers back to having good friends and col leagues them refers to good friends and colleagues they refers to pets.
There are five examples of signpost words:
first of all one of the most important furthermore also another solution.
There are a number of solutions to the problems of stress in modern day life. First of all, it is recommended that you find your own way of fighting stress. One of the most important methods of dealing with stress is to have good friends and colleagues. Thismeans that you can confide in them when you are feeling under pressure.Furthermore, studies have shown that pets, such as a dog or a cat, can help alleviate the problem because they help yo u take your mind off you r problems. Being physically active and participating in leisure activities, such as hobbies and dining out, also help reduce stress. Another solution is to have a positive mental attitude and be optimistic.
Activity - Assessing Coherence and Cohesion
Now let's analyse a complete essay for coherence and cohesion. Let’s look at how well the essaycommunicates its ideas. First, look at the following Task 2 question.
Teenage offenders should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. Do you agree?
Pierre's essay
The teenage years can be a difficult and challenge time for young people. Yet, if during this years, teenagers commit a crime, i believe they should not have specially treatment because of their age. This essay will outline the reasons for treating teenage offenders in the same way as adult crim inals. Firstly all the criminals deserve to be punished. we cannot make allowances for age because the result of crime is the same, whether the criminal is fifteen or fifty. For example, if a teenager murders someone, the vi ctim is still dead, no matter who did it or why it was done. If all criminals was punished equally, our society would be a safer place to live. Unfortunately, there have been significant increase in the number of young people committing crimes in recent years. We cannot ignore the fact that a person who breaks the law as a teenager will probably continue to commit crimes as an adult if they are not stopped and punishe d. If they are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is better chance they will be rehabilitated and avoid a life of crime. lastly it is easier and less expensive to treat all criminals equally, regardless of age. The government would save money by being able to abolish special court s ystems for younger people such as the Chi ldren's court. In conclusion I would again like to state my strong opposition to the system of treating teenage offenders different from adult criminals. Crime is unacceptable and require strong punishment regardless of age.
1 Has Pierre used paragraphs? Yes No
2 Has Pierre used pronoun referencing to make his writing fluent? Yes No
3 Has Pierre linked his ideas using signposts? Yes No
4 Is Pierre's essay coherent and cohesive? Yes
No
Look at Pierre's essay again, this time with paragraphs, signposts, academic phrases and the pronoun referencing identified. The pronoun is hi ghlighted in light pink and the wor d it refers to is in dark pink. The signposts and academic phrases have been underlined
Pierre's Essay The teenage years can be a difficult and challenge time for young people. Yet, if during this years, teenagers commit a crime, i believe they should not have specially treatment because of their age. This essay will outline the reasons for treating teenage offenders in the same way as adult criminals. Firstly all the criminals deserve to be punished. we cannot make allowances for age because the result of crime is the same, whether the criminal is fifteen or fifty.For example, if a teenager murders someone, the victim is still dead, no matter who did it or why it was done. If all criminals was punished equally, our society would be a safer place to live. In addition, criminals tend to keep committing crimes until they are caught We cannot ignore the fact that a person who breaks the law as a teenager will probably continue to commit crimes as an adult if they are not stopped and punished. Ifthey are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is better chance they will be rehabilitated and avoid a life of crime. Lastly it is easier and less expensive to treat all criminals equally, regardless of age. The government would save money by being able to abolish special court systems for younger people such as the Children's court. In conclusion I would again like to state my strong opposition to the system of treating teenage offenders different from adult criminals. Crime is unacceptable and require strong punishment regardless of age.
Lexical Resource For this criterion, you are assessed on:
the range of your vocabulary the accuracy and appropriacy of the words you use in terms of the specific task.
Let’s examine the vocabulary in the following paragraph which describes how the workplace has become more stressful.
Extract from Jurgen’s essay First of all, work today is more demanding than it used to be because of the development of science and technology. This development affects all areas of our lives, especially in the requirements of employers who are demanding greater flexibility from their employees. For instance, university graduates have to master English, computers and other skills if they want to secure decent jobs. They must continually spend more time acquiring new techniques and skills in order that they progress in the workplace.
Sue's comment Look at Sue's assessment of the lexical resource in Jurgen's extract.
1 Has Jurgen used a wide range of vocabulary ? "In this extract, Jurgen has used a wide variety of vocabulary." For example:
synonyms: 'growth' is used as a synonym for 'development' modifiers:
decent jobs greater flexibility continually spend new techniques
2 Has Jurgen used appropriate vocabulary ? "Jurgen has used formal, academic vocabulary."
For example:
to master English (less formal - to learn, to study) to secure decent jobs (less formal - to get a decent job) to progress in the workplace (less formal - to get a good job)
3 Has Jurgen used accurate vocabulary ? "The words chosen are related to the topic and fit the context of each sentence." For example:
word form:
development (n) - not developing, developed (adj) continually (adv) - not continue (v)
collocation: to master English word choice:
words are relevant to the topic, for example for workplace: work, employer, employee, jobs; and for stressful: demanding, affects. the correct choice of words is used.
Remember that in the academic module of the IELTS Writing test you should use a more formal level of vocabulary and avoid informal language or slang.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy For this criterion, you are assessed on the range and accuracy of your sentences. The range of your grammar refers to the variety of the sentence structures you use. The accuracy, on the other hand, refers to how correct your grammar is.
Let’s look at the extract from Jurgen’s work again.
First of all, work today is more demanding than it used to be because of the development of science and technology. This development affects all the areas of our lives, es pecially in the requirements of employers who are demanding greater flexibility from their employees. For instance, university graduates have to master English, computers and other skills if they want to secure decent jobs. They must continually spend more time acquiring new techniques and skills in order that they progress in the workplace.
Sue's comment Look at Sue's assessment of the grammatical range and accuracy in Jurgen's extract.
Grammatical Range 1 Has Jurgen used complex sentences? "In this extract, Jurgen has used a variety of complex sentences, which include, for example, conditional and relative clauses." For example:
First of all, work today is more demanding than it used to be ... This development affects all areas of our lives, especially in the requirements of employers who are demanding greater flexibility ... ... university graduates have to master English, computers and other skills if they want to secure decent jobs. They must continually spend more time acquiring new techniques and skills in order that they progress in the workplace.
2 Has Jurgen used nominalisation? "Yes. Some good examples of nominalisation are present in his extract." For example:
the development of science and technology the requirements of employees
3 Has Jurgen used modals?
"Jurgen has not used a range of modals in this extract. The only mo dal present is: must . However, this is only a short extract and the main idea of the paragraph does not lend itself to the use of modals."
Grammatical Accuracy 1 Has Jurgen shown an accurate use of verb tense? "Three different tenses have been used in this extract: simple present, present continuous and simple past. All of these tenses have been used correctly." For example: ... work today is more demanding than it used to be ... (a comparison between the present and the past) 2 Has Jurgen shown an accurate use of agreement ? "Agreement has been used appropriately." For example: Subject-verb agreement:
This development affects ... ...university graduates have to ... ...employers who are...
Modifier/quantifier-noun agreement:
this development our lives.
3 Has Jurgen shown an accurate use of articles? "Jurgen has used articles accurately." For example:
the development of the requirements of in the workplace.
4 Has Jurgen shown an accurate use of punctuation? "Commas and capital letters have been used correctly." 5 Has Jurgen shown an accurate use of complex sentences? "All the complex sentences that Jurgen uses are accurate." For example:
...employers who... (relative pronoun for people) ...in order that... (clause that expresses purpose).
6 Has Jurgen shown an accurate use of modals? "The modal 'must' has been used appropriately to show obligation in the sentence: They must continually spend more time acquiring new techniques and skills..."
Activity 1 - Assessing Lexical Resource and Grammtical Range and Accuracy
Read the following paragraph and consider the lexical resourc e and grammatical range and accuracy of Hisako's extract. Answer the questions below by clicking on the Yes or No button. For feedback on the 'Grammatical Accuracy' section, click on the Check button.
Extract from Hisako’s essay First of all, students are put pressure by their par ents. They have to study hardly which caus e the stress-related problem. For example, some parents want their children to enter the university and intimidate to them because they don’t want to be embarrassed by society. Thus, students could suffer from stressrelated problem since they were young. Also, in working life, people want to be number one, so they have a way to attack their competitors fiercely. This also cause much stress.
Lexical Resource Has Hisako used:
1 a wide range of vocabulary?
Yes
No
2 appropriate vocabulary?
Yes
No
3 accurate vocabulary?
Yes
No
Grammatical Range Has Hisako used:
1 complex sentences?
Yes
No
2 nominalisation?
Yes
No
3 modals?
Yes
No
1 verb tense?
Yes
No
2 agreement?
Yes
No
3 articles?
Yes
No
4 punctuation?
Yes
No
5 complex sentences?
Yes
No
6 modals?
Yes
No
Grammatical Accuracy Has Hisako shown an accurate use of:
1 Verb tense: "Hisako generally uses the correct tense, that is, the simple present (are, have to, want, cause). There is only one mistake with tense - in the sentence 'Thus, students could suffer from stress related problem since they were young. ' Hisako should have used thepresent perfect tense, 'Thus, students could have suffered from stress- related problems since they were young .' Or Hisako could have changed the clause 'since they were young' into a phrase 'from quite a young age'." 2 Agreement: "Hisako has made a few mistakes with agreement. These problems include lack of agreement between subject and verb andmodifier/quantifier-noun." For example:
'This also cause much stress.' Should be: ' This also cause s much stress.' 'They have to study hardly which cause the stress-related problem. ' Should be 'They have to study hard which cause s the stress-related problem s.' 'Thus, students could suffer from stress-related problem. ' Should be: ' Thus, students could suffer from stress-related problem s.
3 Articles:
"Hisako generally uses the correct articles. She made one mistake, '...to enter the university ', should be '...to enter university '." 4 Punctuation: "Hisako has no problems with punctuation. She uses capital letters, full stops and commas correctly." 5 Complex sentences: "Hisako uses complex sentences accurately. However, these sentences often have problems with agreement or tense." 6 Modals: "Hisako has used the correct modal ' could suffer ', but she has used the incorrect tense after the modal."
Another version of Hisako’s extract Here is an improved version of Hisako 's extract. Read Hisako’s new version, then click on the button below to see the teacher's comments.
First of all, students are pressured by their parents to su cceed at school. They are required to study hard and this can lead to stressrelated problems. For example, some parents want their chi ldren to enter university and consequently force them to study long hours. They do this because they believe that if their children gain entry to university the social status of the family will improve. Consequently, students could suffer from stress-related problems from quite a young age. In addition, the workplace can be a source of stress, particularly when people are ambitious and seek promotion. This competitiveness with work colleagues together with the need to succeed often leads to high levels of stress.
Lexical resource "In this extract, the writer has used a wide range of accurate and appropriate vocabulary." For example:
The phrase '... gain entry to university ...' acts as a synonym of '...enter university...' The phrase '... force them to ...' is similar in meaning to ' students are pressured by their parents'
"As well, there are examples of academic verbs used in formal writing." For example:
to gain entry to be pressured to seek promotion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy "There is a variety of both complex and simple sentences." "There are also examples of nominalisation." For example:
competitiveness with work colleagues the need to succeed.
"The sentences in Hisako's extract are all grammatically correct." For example:
The present tense has been used correctly throughout this extract. Both subject-verb agreement and modifier/quantifier-noun agreement are correct. For example, 'This competitiveness ... leads to ...' Good use of articles and punctuation is present in Hisako's extract. Complex sentences and modal verbs have been used accurately.
Activity 2 - Assessing Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Now let's look at a complete essay. You will need to assess Pierre's lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy . After reading the essay, answer the questions below. Look at the following Task 2 question:
Teenage offenders should be treated in the same way as adult criminals. Do you agree? Pierre's essay
The teenage years can be a difficult and challenge time for young people. Yet, if during this years, teenagers commit a crime, i believe they should not have specially treatment because of their age. This essay will outline the reasons for treating teenage offenders in the same way as adult criminals. Firstly all the criminals deserve to be punished. we cannot make allowances for age because the result of crime is the same, whether the criminal is fifteen or fifty. For example, if a teenager murders someone, the victim is still dead, no matter who did it or why it was done. If all criminals was punished equally, our society would be a safer place to live. Unfortunately, there have been significant increase in the number of young people committing crimes in recent years. We cannot ignore the fact that a person who breaks the law as a teenager will probably continue to commit crimes as an adult if they are not stopped and punished. If they are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is better chance they will be rehabilitated and avoid a life of crime. lastly it is easier and less expensive to treat all criminals equally, regardless of age. The government would save money by being able to abolish special court systems for younger people such as the Children's court. In conclusion I would again like to state my strong opposition to the system of treating teenage offenders different from adult criminals. Crime is unacceptable and require strong punishment regardless of age.
Lexical Resource Has Pierre used:
1 a wide range of vocabulary? 2 appropriate vocabulary? 3 accurate vocabulary?
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Grammatical Range Has Pierre used:
1 complex sentences? 2 nominalisation? 3 modals?
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Grammatical Accuracy Has Pierre shown an accurate use of:
1 verb tense? 2 agreement? 3 articles? 4 punctuation? 5 complex sentences? 6 modals? 1 Verb tense:
"Pierre has used correct verb tenses in this essay."
He uses 'will' in the first paragraph to explain the purpose of his essay: 'This essay will outline ...' The present tense is used correctly to talk about the present: 'Firstly, all the criminals deserve to be punished.' The tenses in the first type conditional sentences are correct: 'If they are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is ...' The tenses in the second type conditional sentence have been used accurately: 'If all criminals was punished equally, our society would be a safer place to live.'
2 Agreement: "Pierre's essay does not show an accurate use of agreement. " There are three instances of incorrect use of Subject-verb agreement:
'If all criminals was punished equally, ...' The correct verb form should be wereas 'criminals' is a plural word. 'There have been significant increase ...' The correct verb form should be hasas there has been only one increase. 'Crime is unacceptable and require strong punishment regardless of age.' The correct verb form should be requires as 'crime' is a singular word.
There is one instance of incorrect use of Modifier/quantifier-noun agreement:
'Yet, if during this years, ...' The word 'years' (a plural word) has to agree with the modifier. Therefore, it should be these years (both plural forms are used).
3 Articles: "Some articles have not been used appropriately."
Pierre should not have used an article in the topic sentence of the second paragraph because he is talking about 'criminals' in a general way. The correct sentence s hould be 'Firstly, all criminals deserve to be punished.' The sentence 'Unfortunately, there have been significant increase in the ...' needs the indefinite article 'a' before the noun phrase 'significant increase' as 'increase' is a singular noun. Also, the sentence 'If they are punished appropriately at this early stage, there is better chance they ...' should have the indefinite article 'a' before the noun phrase 'better chance' ('chance' is a singular noun).
4 Punctuation: "Problems with punctuation are present in this es say: some capital letters and commas need to be added."
Capital letters
The personal pronoun 'I' is always capitalised, thus '... i believe...' should become ' I believe'. At the beginning of a sentence, the first letter needs to be capitalised. In the second paragraph, the sentence 'we cannot make allowances ...' should start with a capital letter (W e). Likewise, the topic sentence of the fourth paragraph should also be capitalised (Lastly ).
Commas
Signposts are generally followed by a comma. In this essay, 'firstly', 'lastly' and 'in conclusion' should be followed by a comma.
5 Complex sentences:
"Most complex sentences have been us ed accurately. Some of them have problems w ith subjectverb agreement or missing articles, but in general, these sentences have been used correctly." For example, the correct relative pronoun has been used in the third paragraph: '... a person who breaks the law ...'. In this sentence,'who' refers to the noun 'person'. Pierre has made the correct choice. 6 Modals: "This essay shows an accurate use of modal verbs."
Summary This brings us to the end of the Step 10 Writing Task 2. In Step 10, you have learnt how to:
understand how the examiner assesses your essay examine and analyse extracts from essays using IELTS Writing Task 2 assessment criteria.
Well done! You have completed all the steps (1-10) of the course materials for Writing Task 2. If you have not completed the Language Focus for Writing Task 2, you may want to do this now by clicking on one of the sections below: Improving your range - Grammar and Voc abulary Improving your accuracy - Grammar and Vocabulary Using an academic style Writing coherently and cohesively Expressing your ideas effectively If you have completed the Language Focus, you can click here to view the Question Bank or you can use the skills and strategies you have learnt to do four practice Writing Task 2 tests.