Introductory
Pick-Up How to Get Girls to Like You
Written by Decibel PUAFieldGuide.com
Preface Hey fuckers, what's up. What you have before you is a brief primer on how to get girls to like you. Notice the title isn't How to Get Girls to Fall in Love with You or How to Get Girls to Fuck You. Those are intermediate and advanced discussions. My intention when I wrote this book was to simply get girls somewhat attracted to you. If you've already got more advanced game, then you may still find some useful tips here, but basically this book is for newbs trying to flee their AFC existence. I won't cover getting numbers, text or phone game, day 2s or pulling here. Just how to stop being such a fucking AFC, how to get comfortable being in field, and how to interact with hot girls. Thinking about the lay or the day 2 will make you outcomeoriented. I want you to only focus on the process of getting attraction. I'm also not gonna specifically address AMOGs or cock-blocks, winging or logistics. Those are more advanced concepts. Please note, what follows are my opinions. Many of you may disagree with my advice, but it is what I've found works best. Also note, the information here is intended for bar/ club game, not social circle or day game. None of it is speculative; I've extensively field-tested all the advice I'm laying down. Once in a while I'll give an exercise to help you work towards your goals; it is always a good idea to have a mission in mind when heading out into the field. Use mine, or come up with your own, but have something to work on that will push you out of your comfort zone and improve your skill set. One thing is certain: this book is a companion to your field work. You MUST get out into the field and get shit done. If you're just gonna sit at home and read PUA material, I want you to delete this book from your hard drive immediately and pretend like you never saw it. If you want a more comprehensive guide on pick-up and seduction, download my free ebook PUA Field Guide at PUA Field Guide.com.
Now, a bit about me.... I woke up in the middle of 2007 realizing I had 2 friends (both from high school), hadn't had a girlfriend in 2 years, and had spent every night playing video games,
downloading porn or watching videos. Or some combination of these. I was 38. My parents had gotten me The Game when it came out, but I put it on the shelf since I hate to read. Then VH1 showed the PUA1, and a light bulb came on. I read The Game and the Mystery Method. I spent a week doing that, as well as getting more info from the web, and then I went out that Friday faithfully using all I'd learned. My first night - in fact, the very first girl I opened - I got a kiss-close. A week later she was in my bed, top and bra off, giving me token resistance. In honor of the 7-hour rule I (incorrectly) didn't plow to the lay, and sent her home. OK, so this stuff worked. To backup, I'll give you some idea of my social skills. I've spent my entire life mumbling and not making eye contact. I heard “you should smile” all day, every day. If you put me in a room of people, I sat there listening, but not contributing. I often went to the park in my 20s, sitting on the bench watching people, again not talking to anyone. Pretty much after college for about 16 years I didn't speak to many people except my girlfriends. And as for those, the relationships lasted 2 weeks to a couple years. The normal girls were 2 weeks, the psychos were 2 years. None of my LTRs consisted of me selecting a girl I wanted to date based on her personality or other qualifications. They typically approached me, and I then asked them out on dates. They were all cute or hot. I've always had high standards in that department, even if I felt I didn't deserve to. So. You go into field thinking you're gonna start being this mack daddy playa. No problem. Drop some negs, move girls around, get their #s. But wait. You can't even approach because you have AA. Hmm, never knew I did, because I never really tried talking to random girls in public. I get to work on AA, 5-7 nights a week. Open, open, open. 1000s of sets. Gradually, it goes away. Over the course of a year, I can comfortably work a room. Not just no AA, not just comfortable in the venue, but actually having a great night, like it's my birthday. Then I go to work on my subcoms. I work on making eye contact with every person I meet. Very tough habit to break, but I do it. This takes many months. I project in loud clubs, I stand up straight, I keep my hands at my sides, I smile...all that shit. Undoing 38 years of really really bad habits that subcommunicate low value and low selfesteem. I develop my PUA 6th sense – the ability to read subtle nonverbal cues and to calibrate appropriately. This was not hard since I'd been sitting around watching people most of my life; that was the one remnant of my AFC life which has paid off.
I field test various tactics, from openers to LMR. I hold no attachment for any particular set, coming at it like a scientist in the lab, determined to figure out social dynamics and how I fit into the matrix. I take an inner game journey. At first, I was hiding behind routines and an avatar. I went out and acted like Mystery, Mehow, Brad P, whomever. Necessary at first, but clearly a way of avoiding putting my real identity on the line. This was gonna take work. Love me or hate me, I become determined to just “be myself” without all the clutter of routines and accessories. I declutter and simplify my approach, and it's a relief. But it means being unreactive to what people might think of me. I start asserting myself, go after what I want, undeterred. Again, lots of tough inner game work. I read many books, including stuff by David Deida, Eckhart Tolle and a bunch of PU gurus. It all seeps into my psyche and there's a deep shift. Most of my epiphanies have been documented somewhere, either on a forum or in my field guide. In short, chasing tail takes a backseat to just trying to be “normal” and at peace with myself and my life. All the chaos in my life situation still exists, but I now have a lightness of being. This is the biggest plus so far of being in the community (in addition to all the new friends I've made). When I started, I was able to leave all my worries at the door and go into game mode. But I wanted to BE game, not just do it. So I evolved further. I no longer sit at home wishing I had friends; I don’t ever accept my excuses or inaction; I stay fully in the moment and outside my head. I've gotten so much more from being in the game than I'd ever expected when I came into it. Of course, it's been a rough journey full of tests and disappointments, but the end result proves it is worth the perseverance. Meeting me now, you would never believe I was the person I was when I watched that VH1 show. I’ve come a long way, but I’ll be the first to admit I have still a ways to go on my journey. That’s ok, I have my whole life to get this shit sorted out.
dB February 2009
Table of Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Why? Practical Issues
Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10
Inner Game Approach Anxiety Attraction Value, DHVing and Routines Frame Control and Qualification Sexual Intent Kino, Dominance and Compliance Putting it All Together
Copyright 2009 © PUA Field Guide
Chapter One Why? Why are you reading this book? Why are you even talking to girls? Why are you in the community? If you can't answer these simple questions, you need to do some soulsearching. Figure out your priorities. What are you looking for in a woman, besides a wet hole? Really, how can you qualify a girl if you have no idea what character traits are most important to you? How can you convey to girls your values if you don't know what they are? If you hate loud clubs, why do you keep going to them? If your wing constantly blows you out, why do you keep sarging with him? If you're not attracted to 6s, why do you keep gaming them? If you're not Sit down and write out the answers getting anywhere with indirect game, why to these questions: do you keep running it? 1. What makes you a high value man? The game is ultimately about figuring out Include your career, your hobbies, your what your core values and beliefs are, and passions, anything you think women learning how to effectively broadcast them may find attractive. 2. What makes you undesirable? to the world. Learning how to make all your Include debt, living with mom, behaviors – both conscious and appearance and so forth. subconscious – congruent with who you 3. What is it you hope to gain both are. It's also about listening to what the field short and long-term by being in the is telling you and adjusting your game in community? A social circle, marriage, response. fuck buddies? 4. What kind of woman would you In many cases, the reason you do or don't consider a perfect 10, besides her do something is weak inner game. If you appearance? May include personality, avoid mixed sets or super hot girls, then sense of humor, career, education and life ambitions. those are sticking points and you need to address them. Any time you aren't doing something you know you should, ask yourself why not? If the answer is because it's difficult or painful, then you've uncovered a new hurdle. You must actively hunt for these and go about overcoming them. The less you
want to do something, the more you must do it. Fear will be one of your greatest enemies. Ok. Now do the exercise above. Let's review your answers: 1. What makes you a high value man? If you don't have a clear understanding of why girls should want to fuck or date you, how can you ever communicate this to them? If you have a sense of humor, you will want to monopolize on this by spiking their buying temp. If you have a job that lets you travel, this is something you can use to convey adventurousness and preselection. If you have a great physique, you'll want to find clothes that accentuate it. And so on. 2. What makes you undesirable? Of these traits, determine which are never going to change, which might change a little, which are reversible with effort, and which might end up being irrelevant. Something that will never change may be the fact you live with your parents, and can't afford to get your own place. If that's the case, you need to partly plan logistics in advance when the time comes to close; maybe you'll bang in your car or at her place. Something that can change a little includes your height. You can add lifts and make yourself a little taller, though you may never get to a desirable height like six feet. Something that will change with effort would be your fashion, your hair or your physique. And something that is irrelevant is how much money is in your account; you don't need much money to pull a girl back to her place and bang her...just game. 3. What do you want from the game? Short-term, it may be to be comfortable talking with girls in nightclubs, or making eye contact without having to think about it, or being unafraid to kino. Long-term, it may include having five fuck buddies or one monogamous girlfriend. Your goals may change as you continue down this journey, so always keep an open mind, and never live by the standards of others. 4. What do you consider your perfect 10? When you start out, you may have a buttload of criteria. When I got into the game, I was looking for a specific age range, hair color, personality, education. Then as I got more experience under my belt (figuratively and literally), my requirements loosened up. I started considering smokers, girls in their early 20s, and all races. As I gained perspective, my beliefs of what was attractive changed. Don't be overly picky, but do know what you want; this will make it easier to qualify girls and screen out the ones you wish to avoid.
Chapter Two Practical Issues Let's cover a few basic concepts. Peacocking. Maybe you have a great fashion sensibility, maybe not. Maybe you know how you want your wardrobe and accessories to reflect your identity, or maybe you don't. When I got started, my wing told me I resembled Johnny Depp, and so I should peacock just like him. I gathered some photos online and put together an outfit that kinda gave a Depp-ish impression. With time, I felt all the clutter was annoying, and I needed to simplify. I scaled down to one or two rings, a bracelet and more upscale attire. As you start to go out, figure out what kinds of clothes and gear will let you stand out without looking like an ignoramus or too flashy (the point is not to show off). Peacocking does not work for all guys. And many girls are turned off by excessive peacocking. So try to be tasteful. I would Scout out your city for these venue often ask girls in bars what they thought types: about this or that, and I would listen to the 1. Day game. Bookstores, malls. This consensus. Females do know fashion, so will allow you to practice verbal game. take notes if you get free advice. 2. Low-energy night game. Bars and pubs. This will give you a mix of verbal Venue selection. After inner game, this is and physical game. the most important first step you'll make 3. High-energy night game. Loud along your journey. If you can't learn to dance clubs. This will allow you work project your voice, or you have low passive on your non-verbal physical game. value (a short, ugly dude), you're gonna Routinely alternate among these three have a rough time in loud dance clubs. locations and learn how to calibrate Maybe start off in low-key bars and lounges your style of game and energy level for that particular venue. to get your footing. Otherwise the frustration will drive you from the game. Test out various locations and see what fits your personality. Keep in mind that dark venues are more intimate and may permit easier escalation.
Brightly lit venues may have the opposite effect. Other factors to keep in mind: most places allow smoking which might irritate you if you don't smoke; it is hard to get the attention of someone engrossed in a performance; dancing spikes BT and may help you pull; high male:female ratios may mean more AMOGs to deal with; high-end venues may be harder to get into but also have hotter girls. Drinking. I do drink a bit now when I go out, but at first I avoided all alcohol. Your game will be sloppy, you'll miss out on a girl's subtle IOIs and IODs, your responses will be poorly conceived and executed, and opportunities will pass you by. Learning a skill of any kind requires your full presence. So don't drink when you go out. Once you've gotten these skills internalized, it's ok to loosen up and get a little tipsy. If you're totally drunk, your end game may suffer. Sarge schedule. I used to go out 7 nights a week when I started. Then I cut back to 5. Then when I was using up $150 a week on gas, I had to reduce it to 2-3 nights. Any less than 3 nights a week will not allow much progress to occur. Lots of guys go on sarge-a-thons, where they devote 10 or more consecutive nights to going out. These sarge-a-thons can shave a lot of time off the learning process. You find yourself “in state” constantly after a while, AA drops, you stop caring as much. The flip side is your job, friends and family may suffer. You may find it hard to keep your eyes open at work or on the drive home the next night. So be careful and realize there are risks to hardcore sarging. Some of the casualties of the sarge for my first year included blisters on my feet, fungus between my toes, getting my car towed late at night, getting speeding and parking tickets and spending money on parking, gas, venue admission and drinks. Always remember this: no time in field is a waste of time. Even if you think you aren't progressing, just getting out of your house and into the company of women is a huge step that most dudes never take. Debriefing. After every night I sit down and think about each set, good and bad. I would either write things down on my computer, or on one of the forums I belonged to, or I'd run things through in my mind. Debriefing is critical. You need to honestly evaluate all the shit you did or should've done. If you find you're making excuses, you need to correct that. If you missed opportunities, you need to come up with a plan so it doesn't happen again. If you had successes, then figure out how to make those happen again with consistency. If you have wings, it helps to debrief at a diner or someone's car. Never analyze your sets in the venue. Your state will drop and you'll stop approaching. Don't even talk about game in the venue. Unless it's a very quick comment like “hey, you keep saying cunt and I think girls are getting offended.” Certain real-time suggestions are useful.
Wings. Your wing is there to bring up your game. If you need to isolate a girl, that's where your wing should swoop in and help. I have tons of information on winging in the Field Guide, so I'm not covering it here. In fact, I would consider the use of a wing to be an intermediate tactic. I have often seen bad winging cause a guy's progress to come to a halt or to derail a particular pick-up. I also know many guys who use their wing as a crutch, and can't sarge without him. So unless your wing is motivated, sociable and a team-player, I would seriously consider going solo. That doesn't mean you have to go out every night by yourself, though you should definitely be comfortable doing it. What I'm saying is you and your wings can work a venue together while being in different sets. Never be dependent on a wing to try to attract women. If a wing is fucking up your game, stop relying on him. You should be able to isolate or mini-isolate a target and game her without the help of a wing. If you can't, it's nobody's fault but your own. Having a wing is a luxury, not a necessity. Us vs them. Don't give into the notion that it is men versus women out there. It's not. Women want to get laid as much as you do. There is no battle, just the one that popular media has fabricated. Women will act like bitches or give you objections, but look past these and understand the psychology behind those defenses. Take the high road and help them get what they want. There is no “us vs them.” Premature ejectulation. Newbs will often eject on a high note, or if there is the slightest challenge. Adam Lyons calls this premature ejectulation. If a girl is giving you a hard time and you get intimidated, you eject. If you run out of things to say, you eject. If you feel like she's attracted you won't want that validation to end, and you eject. None of these are valid reasons to leave a set. If you find yourself leaving a set too soon for whatever reason, break this habit. Embed yourself into the set and try to close. I would often tell my wings who made excuses, there are only two reasons not to close a girl: you don't have a condom, or your zipper is stuck. Running lots of sets per night. When starting out, you want to gather a bunch of reference experiences to help reinforce your new-found reality. And so you leap from set to set, opening 1000 or more over the course of a year. This has advantages. You will lose AA quicker. You will be able to field-test tactics on a larger sample size. You will hear many responses you hadn't heard before, including shit tests and IODs. These will toughen you up and make you less surprised the next time around. The disadvantage is sometimes you will get genuine attraction and still eject to open another set. Or sometimes the attraction is dormant and all you need to do is plow a bit.
Open lots of sets. But if a girl is hot and you want to pursue her, then by all means stay in set. Even if it's the first set of the night. Your goal here is to get laid. Don't expect it to happen in the first year since cold approach is a tough skill to master. But if the opportunity arises, you should push the interaction as far as it'll go. The bigger point I want to make is this: make a decision about who you are, right now. Are you a sociable guy? Or are you a reformed AFC who is defective and trying to cross over into PUA-ville. Sociable men don't “count sets.” They just enter a venue and chat with everyone; it is what they do and who they are. AFCs count sets, because they are not yet convinced of their new persona. Don't be a broken AFC. That is looking backwards. Be a sociable guy. Look forward at your ideal personality. Stop counting sets. It reinforces the old persona. Building a social circle. Some girls aren't attracted to you, some are unattractive to you, some have serious LTRs and don't want to cheat. Rather than write off these girls, I want you to start constructing a social circle of women. Game them, but don't escalate or telegraph intent. Get their numbers and then once or twice a week when you're out invite them out with you. Rolling in a pack of girls will make your job in the venue much easier.
Build a social circle: 1. For the next couple weeks, stop sarging when you go out, and only get numbers for the purpose of social circle. 2. If your phone has the capability to sort, organize these #s into a social circle folder. 3. Pick a night when you want to invite all your girls out to a club, then send a mass text. 4. When you show up at the venue, use your circle to gain access, and for preselection and proof in the venue. Your wing shouldn't sleep with these girls if you don't want him to.
Sticking points. Everyone has em. They are the problems in your game which won't let you get to the next level. For most guys, AA is the first and biggest hurdle they'll encounter. For others it's trigger anxiety. Other guys can't seem to get past LMR. Determine your sticking points and come up with a plan of action to work past them. Do it over and over until you've surmounted them.
Chapter Three Inner Game There is a lot of airy fairy shit on the market dealing with inner game. Truth be told, I've read or watched only a handful of products having to do with inner game. I've never heard Tony Robbins speak, I've never browsed the self-help section of the local bookstore, I've never gone to a seminar on self-confidence. That being said, inner game for most guys including myself is the absolute key to being successful with women. It is the make-or-break factor when you look at approaching, escalating and closing. It is the ability to turn off or to keep at bay that little voice in your head reminding you of your shortcomings and failures. So I'm now gonna discuss some of the most important components of inner game. Your ego and your identity Your ego is an evil and unnecessary maniac that wants to destroy you. The ego must die. What is the ego? When another guy who gets laid a lot more than you tells you you're doing something wrong in field, and you blow him off, that's your ego. When you don't approach the hottest girl in the venue because you think she might reject you, that's your ego. When you try to impress or seek the validation of other PUAs, that's your ego. Being controlled by the ego will never permit growth and maturity. You must ignore the ego, and instead embrace rejection, humiliation, humility and the cold reality that you are not nearly as good as you think you are. If you can't do this, you have a very long road ahead of you. If you were to strip away the ego, underneath is your true identity. Let's say your religious upbringing has dealt you a ton of guilt over sex, and so you project the facade that you are pious and asexual. Meanwhile, underneath that, you truly love to fuck random women. Then you must strip away the outer layers which are stopping you from being who you really are, and accept the true identity underneath.
Naturally, this takes a lot of painful work, undoing years of conditioning, but it must be done. Begin the process of honest soul-searching, and never stop. Be true to your core values and beliefs. Always. I want you to be good with women, an alpha male, a high-value man. What does this kind of person look like? How do they walk and talk? You have no idea. Maybe you can get a sense of it from watching old Brando interviews. But as an AFC, you probably have no clue where to begin. If that's the case, I recommend emulating various men, and seeing how it feels. Try out Mystery, Mehow, Brad P. Try out Harrison Ford, Bogart, Brad Pitt. Yeah, you may feel totally incongruent acting like these people, and others may interpret this as creepy. That's ok. We're going on a fishing expedition for your new identity. Eventually, you will drop all these acts and just be yourself. But for now, it's ok to try on different faces until you find the one women respond to. Outcome vs process To get good at any skill, you must be process-oriented. If you focus on the outcomes, you will never gain mastery. Have one eye on where you want to be, but enjoy and learn from the process of getting there. That is the only way. Many guys won't fuck a girl who is average-looking though fuck-worthy. This is because “she's not a 10.” What they are missing out on is the learning that comes with banging that 7. She may give you LMR which allows you to work past that sticking point. She may decide to call up her girlfriend and invite you to a threesome. You may have some new logistical problems to solve in order to close her. The point is, try to think of each girl in terms of how will this possibly improve my skill set. Never get attached to a girl. They are all building blocks to help progress you along your journey. It sounds cruel and impersonal, but if you do get emotionally attached to every girl, you will never achieve mastery. Be honest with women; let them know they you are not the kind of guy whom they should get attached to (they won't listen, but at least you're acting through integrity). The outcomes will begin to occur if you honor the process. However the process may not improve if you're busy focusing on the outcomes. Crutches There is nothing wrong with using crutches to get you by, as long as they don't hinder your progress. Alcohol is a crutch which hinders you. A reliable wing may be a crutch which can help you.
Here is an excerpt from from my Field Guide on crutches: 1. Alcohol. AA is something you need to genuinely squash, and not mask with mind-altering substances. Drinking to excess in order to help approach women will not in the end assist you in overcoming AA. 2. State pumpers. At times, you need that shot of espresso to get you in the mood to go out late and be in a talkative state. However you should watch out for dependence on stimulants which may artificially pump your state. 3. Wings. Many guys rely on wings as a crutch, becoming intimidated if alone in a venue. Bring in wings to make for a fun night, and to augment your game, but do not avoid solo sarging. 4. Gaming ugs. Going after HBs can be daunting, and sometimes chasing ugs can be the path of least resistance. If you are attracted to the ug, then game on. But if you're gaming ugs as a crutch because you're too scared to game HBs, you need to get past this sticking point. 5. Peacocking. Some guys don their gear as if it were an action figure disguise. This is great, but if you're suddenly caught out in the day at a car wash next to HB10, you may feel naked without the gear and unable to run game. 6. Routines. Going in with a routine stack can help you reliably create attraction, but many guys rely on the stack instead of learning how to naturally vibe with a girl. 7. All-girl sets. Mixed sets scare a lot of guys, so they avoid them and only work all-girl sets. 8. Seated sets. It may be hard to lock in if a group is sitting, so a PUA may only game standing sets. You should always try to open seated sets, even if the logistics may not be just right. If you don't open, you'll never learn how to do it. 9. Venue selection. Some PUAs aren't adept at day game, so they only sarge at night. Others are scared of clubs so they only do day game. A PUA should ideally be comfortable running game any time of day in any venue. If you find yourself returning to the same sort of venue, push yourself to game in venues that may feel uncomfortable at first. 10. Indirect game. Though you may find yourself getting good at indirect, opening direct may bring about a wave of panic you thought you'd conquered. Learn how to be direct on your approaches, with aggressive kino and strong statements of intent. 11. Being “in state.” You may not feel like going out or talking to women because you aren't in state. Being in state can help your interactions, but
relying on being in state is another crutch. Subcommunication If you're talking to a 10 and you outwardly project confidence and cockiness, but inside you are scared shitless, your subcoms will belie you. Girls detect the non-verbal cues, and they will tend to rely on those over verbal cues if there is a mismatch. So to consistently convince women you are of high value and confident, you must BE high value and confident. If you need validation from others, or are desperate for sex, women will smell this and be turned off. But if you remain internally validated and live a life of abundance, this will be subcommunicated and women will be attracted. You can try to “fake it til you make it,” but the only way to become successful is to go out in field a lot until things start to shift on a deep level. Only then will your subcoms align with your words. Social and sexual anxiety I was totally paralyzed by AA all my adult life. I spent 30 or more years being shy and afraid to talk to people. What good will ever come out of being like that? If you are like I was, you need to do the hard work of squashing your social anxiety. Fight it with every fiber of your being, until it surrenders and dies. Because it will. It is an unnatural state and deserves a miserable death. Sexual anxiety is another issue you may run into. I've been offered sex by women I find attractive and I don't go for it. Why? Because of those same voices that try to keep me from approaching in the first place. Sexual anxiety tells you that sex with girls you don't know well is weird, that girls who want sex with you are somehow defective or loose, that if you have sex with a girl you'll have to deal with your own emotional aftermath and so why even go there. Or that you're not worthy of her body. It's all more bullcrap that you need to overcome. You can't pick up women unless you can tap into the animalistic desire to ravish the woman in front of you. If you hold back, she will sense the lack of drive and will not waste time with you. Non-reactivity AFCs react to the world. They seek validation from outside. They derive their sense of worth from how others perceive them. Not surprisingly, this is unattractive to women. If you are like this, you need to break your dependence of external validation. You must become totally non-reactive to what people may think or say of you. There are tons of social anxiety exercises available, including the Stylelife Academy challenges. If you have a fear – or even a concern – about what strangers think about you, do
these exercises until you lose that fear. Strangers in a bar should not be causing any disruption in your mood, your state or your sense of worth. Why would a girl's opinion of you matter, or be a function of her appearance? What makes her the arbiter of worthiness? Only you know what matters to you. Project those traits and be steadfast in your conviction. Don't be swayed by challenges. Stay immune to social proof. Remain always non-reactive. Rapport Having rapport with a girl is a pleasant thing. She may not become attracted to you, but will feel comfortable with you. Rapport evolves naturally through vibing. But if you seem like you are seeking rapport, you are lowering your value in a supplicating manner. It implies agenda. This is beta and unattractive. To the contrary, you should have the balls to break rapport. Breaking rapport shows willingness to walk away, and is attractive. She’s some random girl you just met in a bar, so why would you compromise your beliefs or values? Why would you befriend her without her earning it? When you are afraid to break rapport, you are essentially saying you need to walk on eggshells around girls so as not to “rock the boat.” Be unafraid to break rapport, and even go out of your way to do it. Here are ways to break rapport: a. Don’t hesitate to disagree with her. Call her out on something you think is silly. Challenge her. b. Do take-aways, body rocking, let your eyes wander away while she talks to you, and other classic IODs. c. Use your vocal tonality. There are two alpha ways you can ask a question. First, don’t ask it. So instead of “hey, where do you live?” you state “you don’t live around here.” You make statements that she will infer are questions. Second, you can ask a question without the upward inflection that you usually hear at the end of a question. Instead, let the inflection go downwards. Congruence You will get tested by women to see if your outer game and inner game match up. These are called shit tests, otherwise known as congruence tests. She is trying to see if you are truly a high value man worthy of her DNA, or if you're just acting like one. I consider handling shit tests an intermediate skill, so I'm not covering that in this guide. Being congruent is not easy to learn. It has to come from spending time in the field. Here are ways to achieve congruence: a. Don't rely heavily on canned material. Spitting one routine after another is
disingenuous. When you genuinely vibe, you’re being congruent. When you’re running a bunch of lines that aren’t relevant to what she’s saying or thinking, or what your true intentions are with her, you don’t seem congruent. b. Have a good time. If you are acting alpha, but you still reek of fear, your subcoms will give you away. So stop fearing and enjoy every interaction. Don’t think about the outcomes; focus on the process. c. Get out of your head. When you’re drunk, words comes out of your mouth unfiltered. Same for when you’re in your car singing at the top of your lungs. You’re in the moment, not analyzing everything. You therefore communicate from your core. Learn to do this always. The alpha mindset Women are drawn towards the alpha persona and repelled away from betas. There are ways to appear alpha: 1. Acquire immunity to social proof. (See above) 2. Dominate. (Refer to Chapter 9) 3. Practice frame control. (Refer to Chapter 7) 4. Be unafraid to break rapport. (See above) 5. Spread out. An alpha treats every venue almost like his living room. a. Take up room. Let your arms hang over adjacent chairs. b. Be loud, but not so loud that it seems you’re trying to call attention to yourself. c. Have open, vulnerable body language. Not only are you taking up space with your hands on your hips, but with your legs spread apart when standing, you show you’re unafraid of taking one in the balls. 6. Gain (or enter with) social proof. a. Roll in with a posse. b. Make friends in the venue. Merge sets, be a social butterfly. c. Use pivots, pawns and female wings. 7. Be congruent. (See above) 8. Be self-confident. Destroy your ego. Alphas have confidence in themselves. They don’t let their egos run amok. If you hear yourself bragging, make it stop. If you’re not pushing yourself outside your comfort zone because your crew/your friends/your wings might think less of you, recognize it and then push yourself even harder. Ego will subvert your self-confidence. It’s counterproductive and decidedly un-alpha.
Being comfortable in your own skin What the fuck is wrong with you?! Most of us have deeply rooted hang-ups. Sure we start off as happy little kids, running around in the playground, not filtering everything that pops into our mind. But then we get disciplined, punished and discouraged over our immature behaviors. We begin to question our words...our own worth in fact. We become uncomfortable just being. Fuck that. Go back to the days of preschool. Run around and shout at the top of your lungs “I play with doodoo!!!” Fuck being an adult. Be a kid again. Be totally comfortable with who you are. There is nothing about you that needs to change at your core. You've just layered a bunch of bullshit on top of your core. But underneath all that, your core is beautiful and perfect. Stop trying to fix who you are deep down. Remove all the social conditioning and fear that keeps you repressed, that keeps you from being you. Discard all the negative selftalk that aims to impede your progress. Be you. Celebrate it. Be comfortable, no matter where you are. Deservedness and assertiveness You deserve pussy. You deserve the most beautiful, intelligent, charismatic women out there. Stop telling yourself otherwise. It is the job of women to test your resolve and create hurdles for you to overcome; don't create more hurdles for yourself. But go further than thinking that you're worthy. Assert yourself. Take what you want. Let her feel that you are unstoppable, like a kid in a candy store. Don't let anyone try to distract or dissuade you. Not her, not the cock-block, not the AMOG. And certainly not YOU. Stifling Because of social anxiety, we have a tendency not to speak our minds. We care what strangers think of us (this, by the way, is absurd). So if you see a hot girl on the bus, you may not speak to her because you would have an audience listening in. This is called stifling. If you find you are stifled, work towards unstifling yourself. Say whatever comes into your head, whether it will DHV or DLV yourself. It may come across as weird,
miscalibrated or even offensive. When you're just starting out, and you are concerned about the outcomes of each set, you will stifle and repress those thoughts in an attempt to DHV. And yes, when you DLV you will lose that set. But stop thinking about the outcomes. Think about the process. And the process of getting good at the game requires that you unstifle. The truth is nobody gives a fuck except you.
Do these unstifling exercises in the venue: Yodel as loud as you can. Clap your hands while chanting, “Dildo! Dil-do! Dil-do!” Jump into the middle of a set and break dance. Think up and run a few stupid openers like “Hey I'm Lewis the dumb-fuck!!” or “Have you guys seen my mommy?” Make a scary face at a girl before approaching her. won't mind; you can get a make-out in couple hours of meeting her.
Expanding your reality My reality when I got into the game was: it is weird and scary to walk up to hot women and start talking to them. Over time, my AA dropped and my reality expanded; pretty soon I expected myself to talk to women whenever I went out. Kino was also outside my reality at first, and I had to bring it in; I first thought women would get weirded out, but eventually I realized kino was necessary for attraction. Gradually other aspects became incorporated into my reality: you can get away with slapping a girl's ass and she under a minute; you can have sex within a
Boom boom boom. My reality kept expanding. Things that were once foreign became commonplace. The scary became mundane. This is inevitable if you stay in the game. Always be leaning towards your fears, expanding your reality to bring in new beliefs. Though you should focus on these positive reference experiences, you will come across negative reference experiences. At one point it seemed like no matter what I did in set, girls flaked. The reference experience became: if you go out and sarge you will not get a solid number. But ignore those negative reference experiences, and chalk them up to part of the learning process. Focus solely on the positive experiences. Realize that this will probably be a very bumpy road for you, full of setbacks, disappointments and rejection. Remember, whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
Chapter Four Approach Anxiety AA is a bitch in high heels. Until you conquer it, you won't be able to fully explore all the other aspects of game. Tons of openers are available online and in my Field Guide. However, while openers give you a jump-start into the conversation, they also make you think that how you open matters. And so you think about the opener, delay the approach, and allow your AA to build. The truth is, it doesn't matter how you open. Truthfully. And in the overall arc of seduction, the opener represents less than 1%. So forget about how you open. Just have something you can use from set to set, as simple as “hey, how's your Friday night going?” Figure out how bad your AA is using the scale below. Are you able to order food from a smoking hot waitress, or do you get intimidated and let it affect your eye contact and tonality? Can you stroll into a clothes store and flirt with the hired gun? Can you already work a room full of beautiful women, without missing a beat? When I got into the community, I could do none of these things. I had the worst fucking AA and had to create drills for myself. I pushed myself hard past my AA, day after day and night after night. When you set out to get rid of AA, you must do it at least 3 days or nights a week for a few hours or more, every week until it's gone. Stopping for even a couple weeks will allow the AA to creep back. Keep at it until it fades into the background. Review this scale and determine how bad your AA is:
0. (No AA) The Master. This guy can enter any venue, work the room so everyone loves him, and get solid attraction from the hottest girls. Not only does he not have AA, but he can see the matrix and use sets strategically to up his social proof and preselection. 1. The Beast. You may hear people say “that guy is a fucking BEAST in field!” Though he isn't as strategic as the Master, he has no AA when going after his targets. He'll open anyone and anywhere. He has no hesitation or fear and is very dominant. He loves to socialize. 2. The Birthday Boy. Slightly less sociable compared to the Beast, though happy to socialize with every set. If you were to look at him, you'd think it were his birthday. He's not as aggressive as the Beast, and so his results aren't as good. But he is clearly having a great time confidently working the room, just like the host of his own party. 3. Rico Suave. He doesn't open as many sets as the Birthday Boy. He hesitates, scans the room, thinks about which sets he wants to open. When he does open, he is effective. He relies on precision, opening a few high quality sets. 4. The PUA. This guy calls himself a PUA, and he takes pride in the title. He is in his head much more than Rico. He is running through openers and routines, analyzing sets. And while he is busy strategizing, his state is dropping and his AA is rising. Still, he can get it back under control and open. He never lets his AA overwhelm him. 5. The Drunk. Put this guy in a room of hotties sober, and he probably won't open. But get him tanked and he's Mr. Sociable. He has a ton of AA underneath, but he selfmedicates and so he manages to open a few cute sets. 6. The Ug Chaser. He wants to talk to hot girls, but they scare him shitless. And so he takes the path of least resistance and only talks to ugly girls. He gets their numbers and may even pull them. But he feels dissatisfied because he knows his AA is getting the better of him. 7. The Excuse Guy. He will open a select few sets. If you ask why he won't open more, he's got a list of excuses, from “she's not hot enough” to “she's with her boyfriend” to “she's busy texting.” In reality, it's his AA that is stopping him from opening. 8. The Kamikaze. This guy looks like a wild-eyed suicide bomber when he approaches. You can literally smell him shit his pants as he begins the long death march to the set in front of him. Because he reeks of fear, he self-destructs. 9. (Paralyzing AA) The Inmate. These guys stand along the edge of the dance floor or along the bar, holding drinks in front of them. This is called death row, and these are its inmates. These guys absolutely won't talk to any girls. They would instantly vaporize if they even tried. Look, AA may seem like a mighty and insurmountable hurdle when you first start out, but many guys have beat it, and you can too. It'll require dedication and the fortitude to deal with the agony of pushing yourself into 1000s of sets. But when it does become
manageable, it'll no longer plague you the rest of your life. It'll be like having a newfound super-power. It helps to have energetic wings who have little AA. They can open sets with you and pump your state. This is not a long-term solution, though it is an acceptable shortterm crutch. Don't hang out with guys who are as anxious or more so than you; they will only bring your state down, strike up distracting conversations with you, and keep you from opening. Don't contribute to the formation of chode crystals. So the main way to get over AA is to keep Perform these drills to help get over approaching. There are a lot of other your AA: options out there including daily affirmations 1. Find all the malls within driving and hypnosis, but I find most of that is crap. distance, and three nights a week, go There really is no substitute for going out to them. Spend an hour or two going and opening. You can give your wing some from store to store chatting with the money and have him pay you back for every hired guns. Even if you have to ask set you open; this again is a short-term something weird like “do you have solution. You can't do this night after night cowboy hats?” just strike up for the next year. conversations. Get advice on peacocking. 2. Go to a club or bar by yourself, and In short, nobody can push you into sets allow yourself to become comfortable except you. You must do it. Put one foot in simply people-watching. Allow all front of the other, open your mouth, and sense of anxiety to leave you, and make some words come out. Go to the really have a good time self-amusing. bathroom to change your underwear. Rinse 3. Walk through a club and say “hi” to and repeat. all the girls. You can keep talking, or you can simply walk onto the next set. The other big help in overcoming AA is to 4. When you check out at the grocery develop a routine stack or tree. When you store, go to the hottest check-out girl know where each interaction will go for the and ask her something lame like “hey, first couple of minutes, this reduces your how are the tomatoes here?” 5. When you need something at a AA. Much of the fear of opening is the fear restaurant (like more napkins), go find of the unknown. Diving into set is like leaping into a cold pool. With a bunch of the hottest waitress and ask her for it. routines at your disposal, you at least know you have a rubber raft you can climb onto for a short while. It's another reassuring crutch you can rely on while you're working on your AA. Eventually you'll probably
want to mostly drop the routines and rely on natural vibing. Though you've probably heard of the stack, I invented the routine “tree.” A stack piles up one routine on top of another, regardless of the set's response. The problem with this is she isn't investing in the conversation; she becomes the passive recipient of your delivery. It looks roughly like this (the blue is you, the pink is the set):
A routine tree, however, flows according to her responses, so she feels like she is investing. A tree may look something like this:
For example, you open with “Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something...” Response A may be a shit test: “OMG, you're not one of those pick-up artists are you?” That would send you off to routine A, which would be your shit test response. Your shit test response may lead to laughter and acceptance, in which case it's safe to go back to your opener. Or your shit test response may lead to another shit test, in which case you would have a new shit test response. And so on. Back up. You say “Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something...” They say “okay!” That response has you continue with the opener, which asks an opinion. They give their opinion. If it is opinion A, you stack into a response or a new routine that is relevant to their opinion. If they go with opinion B, you stack into a response appropriate for that opinion. Let's say you open with FMK: You: “Hey I saw you guys standing over here playing FMK.” HBs: “Huh?”
You: “Fuck marry kill. Never heard of it? Ok, I point to a guy in the bar and you tell me if you'd fuck him, marry him, or kill him. Ok...that guy!” HBs: “Kill!!!” (response A) You: “OMG, you guys are feisty! You can be my bodyguards. I'm always getting mauled by girls when I go out to clubs. I could use a couple chicks to beat them off me.” (future project, role playing, check out their guns, et cetera) or HBs: “Fuck!!!” (response B) You: “I knew it! Women are all sexual predators!” (TD's sexual predator routine) or HBs: “Marry!!!” (response C) You: “WTF? That guy?! Come on, girls. You can do better than that! Alright, let's make a deal. Tonight I'm gonna find you guys a coupla sugar daddies! Next time I see you, you'll be all blinged out...” (future project, play with their jewelry, et cetera). The routine tree is much more fluid and natural than the stack. But you must prepare for every contingency. So you go out with an opener, run it a dozen times, and make note of the most common responses. Then you think about the best ways to respond to each of those responses (you want to go with funny, sexy or kino). Then field test all those responses, and figure out where you can branch out into a new routine. Continue doing this until you have a few minutes worth of material. Having the first few minutes of any interaction all mapped out will reduce your AA. It'll give you the confidence of knowing that no matter what the set throws at you, you'll be prepared with something good. This will generate attraction while spiking BT, and it'll give you the boost you need to keep opening. Over time, you'll reduce your reliance on the routine tree, but for now trust in it. People will try to discourage you from using routines, but it really is a good safety net to have in place when starting out. Again, refer to my ebook, PUA Field Guide for the chapter on routines, and select the ones that are most congruent with your personality. Somewhere in your tree you need to move your girl. You can mini-isolate after you open, but physically moving a girl around in a venue by her hand amps up attraction while reducing her ASD (anti-slut defense). The palmistry routine I discuss in Chapter 6 involves isolation; I ask about her zodiac sign, start the palm read, and then say it's too dark. I use that as bait and an excuse to sit her down in isolation somewhere else.
If you aren't fully isolating your targets, you're missing out on a powerful tool. The take-home message of this chapter is this: Do whatever you need to do (short of drinking) to get your AA under control.
If you can't work past your AA, you won't get anywhere in the game. It's gonna be painful, but this is not an optional step.
Chapter Five Attraction Your goal out of all this introductory stuff is to get girls attracted to you. Most of the time when you simply approach and fluff talk with a girl, it isn't enough to generate attraction. In fact, most girls will give you absolutely no credit for being ballsy enough to open. The sad truth is, it is a given that men approach women and try to hit on them. Though the burden is always on men to do all the work, you will get no brownie points for trying, only ridicule and contempt if you fail. So realize this is an uphill battle, where you will be the only person cheering for you. Whether you succeed in getting attraction is reliant solely on you: the content of your speech, your delivery, your subcoms, your ability to telegraph intent, et cetera. All girls accept the role of passive spectator in the game, while you must always assume the role of active participant. This is a key rule. Never forget it. Once you expect a girl to initiate or take responsibility, she will usually resist. Approach, stimulate attraction, ask for phone numbers, set up the day 2, close. Do all this work yourself. When you get signs that a girl likes you, we call them IOIs (indicators of interest). These may include her playing with her hair (a reliable sign), touching you or stopping to talk to you after you open. While old school pick-up tells you to look for IOIs and count them, here comes a game-changing moment for you:
IOIs are utterly irrelevant. There are only two IOIs that matter: 1. She is standing there letting you talk to her. 2. She is fucking you, jerking you off or giving you head. There is absolutely no weight to any other IOI. Even if she gives you her cell phone number, it could be a fake or she may not intend on answering it when you call. When she's making out with you, you could be the 3rd guy she's made out with that night; it doesn't mean she wants to pull or is interested in seeing you again. So abandon the notion that you should be looking for IOIs. Waiting for them will make you reactive by definition. Be unreactive. Act as if she is giving you IOIs, whether she
is or not. Consider all objections token, and plow past them. It is a girl's job to throw out objections and hurdles to seduction. None of these mean that she isn't interested in sleeping with you, and in fact may mean she truly is. As you gain experience, your ability to plow will improve. Again, I refer you to The Way of the Superior Man for further discussion of this. When you consider all the false IODs and sketchy IOIs girls can throw your way, you begin to see why the only two IOIs that matter are the ones I listed. So, instead of waiting around for IOIs, a better mindset is to assume attraction. When you walk into a set, just assume the girls are already attracted. This is from my archives: Assumptions Usually people say “when you assume you make an ass of u and me.” Harhar. While that might be true in the business world, in PU, it isn't. In fact, making assumptions - positive assumptions - will only help your progress. They may hurt your individual sets, but as you move your focus away from the outcomes and towards the process, positive assumptions will only help. Negative assumptions will always hinder you. Assuming attraction is only one example of a positive assumption. Others are: She wants me to make out with her She wants me to pull her to my car and fuck her She mentions her boyfriend only as a shit test, but actually wants to pull All girls in the club are there to get laid, no matter what they say You can end any of the above with..."obviously!!" Negative assumptions: Girls won't like me because I'm bald/short/fat/pimply I live too far away and girls won't drive out there to see me just for sex I'll need to have money/a good car/go to the gym 5 times a week She won't be attracted until I run my DHV stack Another term for these is 'limiting beliefs.' Guys who get really good often have a delusional belief system. Their reality seems delusional to outside observers, but it is so friggin strong that women can't help but be sucked into it. The one with the stronger reality wins, and all reality is subjective.
Recall, people held on bitterly to the “reality” that the earth was flat. So if you approach a set with a negative assumption like “I need to demonstrate my value and then test out compliance to see if it's ok to escalate” you will set up a self-fulfilling prophecy which will blow you out. Maybe a particular set or series of sets will be ok with this mindset, but again that is outcome-dependent thinking. Process-focused thinking doesn't care what happens in a set; it wants what will get your overall skillset on the track to mastery. And it ain't this sorta stinkin thinkin. But now approach with the positive assumption of “I don't need to demonstrate value; I AM value. Girls love me...obviously!! I just need to assume attraction and then figure out if she's up to my standards.” Yes, this may not get you into a lot of sets...at first. But a funny thing happens when you maintain this mindset. Over time, you start to believe it, internalize it, live it. It becomes congruent. Your subcoms all fall into place with that of a high-value man (assuming your verbal game is also that of high value, not douchebag). Sets open...literally reward this mindset. You may tell yourself, “I can assume attraction and keep telling myself I'm attractive, but I just don't believe it down deep.” But here you're using two terms interchangeably: belief and assumption. You believe in God. That's more than assumption, it is who you are. At this point, I'm just asking you to assume, not believe. You will acquire belief through positive reference experiences. Keep assuming that attraction is there and keep opening. Your bad subcoms will correct with practice and self-analysis. You may need advice from wings or professionals, but eventually as your epiphanies accrue there will be a transformation. In summary, looking for IOIs is old school. It's beta and reactive. Assuming attraction is alpha. You may crash and burn a lot at first, but you will autocorrect and gain calibration skills with field experience, honest introspection of your sticking points, and dissolution of your ego. Of course, being a total douche and trying to assume attraction while ignoring the fact that most sets aren't receptive is not what I'm talking about here. Always humble yourself to the field.
So there is a clear progression at work here:
Negative assumptions lead to excuses which lead to inaction while...
Positive assumptions lead to motivation which leads to action Attraction has two phases: superficial (SA) and deep (DA). Always assume superficial attraction when you open. She may shit test you and disqualify herself. At some point, you cross over into deep attraction. This is when she suggests isolating, or eagerly moves around the venue with you (and leaves her friends), and no longer shit tests or disqualifies herself. In DA, be gentle with the use of preselection or jealousy; she will often get mad at you if she is deeply attracted. Running a little jealousy can help determine her depth of attraction. You can purposefully try to make her jealous, but sometimes girls will randomly comment on how another girl is looking at you or touching you, ask how many girls you've slept with and so on. If she's getting jealous or clingy, she's in deep. There is certainly an emotional switch that gets flipped when you go from one phase to the next, and often it gets turned on instantly. They go from hair flipping to down-tofuck sometimes in a MOMENT. Progressing from superficial to deep attraction – flipping that switch - is the challenge. Certain kino maneuvers will help it along. Grab a girl's hand and move her around the venue. Bite her neck when you hug her. Playfully slam her against a wall with your body. Refrain from the make-out until she is deeply attracted; going for the make-out in superficial attraction may only serve to validate her too soon and move you further away from deep attraction. Girls need a challenge, they need to question whether or not they've won you over. The make-out dispels any doubt. However, in DA the makeout is expected. Adjust the IOI:IOD ratio as you move into DA. If you bombard with verbal IODs to get her deeply attracted, it is best to reduce or eliminate your IODs once you enter deep attraction. Instead, plow verbally and physically. In DA, you don't need to resist or qualify so much. She's already into you, so stop punishing. Start rewarding, both verbally and physically. The point of analyzing attraction in this way is to figure out what's going on in her head and adjusting your game accordingly. Mystery Method works off of what's going on in your head; you go from A1 to A2, then when IOIs are coming you go into A3, and then run comfort.
In her head, SA looks like: “Oh, ok, he seems cool and sexy. Alright, I'll see what he's about. Maybe a shit test or two.” In DA, it looks like this: “BACK OFF BITCHES! This one is MINE!” In SA, she wants to test you to see what you're made of. In DA, she wants you to make out with her hard. Compliance testing is a mediocre way to look at her depth of attraction. As long as it is dampened by ASD or other factors, it isn't pure or totally reliable. But when a girl gets pissed off because you were chatting with another girl, or when she can't keep her hands off of you, it's hard to argue with that evidence. What my superficial attraction game consists of is coupling moderate kino IOIs with moderate verbal IODs. Other methods have a comfort phase, but mine doesn't. I run attraction until the close, trying to keep BT up. Once you drop BT by going into comfort, it is easy to lose the set. Some girls will ask for more comfort, so in those cases oblige briefly and do some basic vibing, but then snip and stack into some kino or another BT-spiking thread. Example: HB: So why did you choose to be a lawyer. PUA: Because it's really stimulating intellectually...why did you choose to be a singer? HB: (blah blah blah) PUA: (eye fucks her) You're so fucking adorable...come here! (hug and kiss) Ok, now we're gonna work on your superficial attraction game. The elements of the SA phase are: 1. Buying temperature (BT) spiking, which may include teasing, kino, sexualizing and humor. 2. Loads of proximity and kino. 3. Verbal IODs, including disqualifiers and negs. You want to fry her circuits by coupling verbal IODs with physical IOIs. Your body is saying you want her, but your words are saying you're not sure or are disinterested. You want to maintain the baseline of seductive and sensual, but you want to have numerous BT spikes. On the following page are a few graphs to illustrate the concept of energy level. Let's take a look at these graphs, which plot time in set on the x-axis and energy level on the y-axis. The blue line is the PUA, the pink is the set.
The top graph represents the low-energy chode. He enters well below the energy level of the set, makes idle fluff talk that goes nowhere, and winds up bringing the set's energy level down a bit (though not totally to his level, since they aren't invested in him). Eventually his own energy level drops as his state is affected by the set's poor response to him. He then goes and sits in a dark corner by himself, further resenting all women. Alright, the middle graph. This is the dancing monkey entertainer guy. He enters the set way above its energy level, and he holds it there. He briefly brings the energy level of the set up since he is amusing to them. But eventually he wears them down and they lose interest. Their own energy level drops a bit, and they eject. The dancing monkey's energy remains high since that is who he is. Nonreactive to others, but in a way that doesn't help his game. Finally, let's look at the bottom graph. This is how the game should be played. Notice the PUA enters at an energy level that is slightly above that of the set, and spikes frequently. His spikes generate BT spikes in the set. As time progresses, the spikes get less frequent, and are unpredictable. Once he's got the energy level up a bit, he gradually brings it down. He controls it, with the level of the set following suit. Notice he doesn't want the baseline to drop completely, nor does he want it too high. A seductive baseline needs to be lower than the party vibe he entered on, but not so low that they lose interest and wander off. So that's the big picture on energy level. Now let's zero in on those BT spikes. There are numerous ways to get a girl's BT up, but these are always illogical and emotional. Getting into a heated political debate tends not to do it. Smacking her ass or teasing her about her choice of words will do it.
Avoid logical threads at all costs. Logic won't make girls horny, unless you're laying out a sexual foundation. Learn to speak “girl.” When you speak girl, you can leap from one topic to another without a logical transition. You can hold emotionally charged conversations that seem to be about nothing important, but maintain her interest. You can create inane future projections and do silly role-playing that the set will gobble up. Whenever you spike BT, she will be more inclined to comply. Things that spike BT: 1. Chick crack. Do some cold read, including strawberry fields, the cube or palmistry. 2. Tricking her. 5 Questions game by Style usually spikes BT at the end since it tricks her. Search for the YouTube video demonstrating this. 3. Teasing her. 4. Making her laugh. 5. Kino. 6. Dancing. Check out the appendix in my Field Guide by The Judge on how to be funny. Note however that jokes per se typically will fail. A joke establishes the frame that you are there trying to amuse her. Women find this unattractive. You must always be selfamusing...the evil clown. If you say something humorous, it is done to give yourself a chuckle. The response of the set Do these BT-spiking exercises in is irrelevant to you (other than it rewards set: you to bring value to people). Ask her if she's ticklish, then tickle her. Those are mostly verbal tactics to spike BT. Do Style's 5 Questions game. Equally important are physical methods. Run my palmistry routine from Ch. 6 Women love to be touched, and being Open by teasing her about some accessory (a belt, a purse, a hat). touchy-feely will almost always be Example: “Look at you, rockin the appreciated, especially if you are coupling it poodle purse!” with verbal value. For example, if you approach a set and start touching them while saying “you guys are dressed up like little whores” or “when are you bitches gonna buy me a drink?” you probably won't get a favorable reaction. But if you approach with the exact same kino and say “Jeez, it looks like an episode of Girls Gone Wild over here!” it may get a better response. For kino to be well-received and spike BT, you must also have good subcoms (eye
contact, relaxed facial expressions, confident body language, et cetera) AND you must offer some verbal value. Then escalation becomes quite easy. At most, a girl may back away from you slowly (especially if her husband or boyfriend is near-by), but they won't respond with harsh IODs. In short, when done well, kino is very attractive. See Chapter 9 for more information. Now, the problem with using a lot of kino is it telegraphs massive IOIs to the target. If you also are telling her verbally how much you like her, there is a good chance she'll become disinterested. Women like to be challenged. This is classic cat-string theory. To offset your physical IOIs, you must send out verbal IODs during your SA phase. There are many ways to do this, but it should be done quite often at first, and then tapered down considerably as you enter DA. Ways to IOD include negs, qualifiers, disqualifiers, time constraints, and various other IODs (mentioning your girlfriend, trying to set her up with another guy in the venue, and so on). While negs are effective disqualifiers, if done without the needed calibration skills, they will back-fire. I therefore consider the neg an intermediate tactic and don't recommend newbs try to use them. I am not going to cover the comfort phase. I believe having rapport is a good thing, but I want you to spend your nights in attraction. Learn how to “speak girl.” Get good at spiking BT and using it to gain compliance. Comfort tends to lower BT and compliance, so I don't consider it necessary until after sex.
Chapter Six Value, DHVing and Routines There is a long-standing debate in the community as to whether it's better to stack routines, or go with natural vibing. Nevermind the debate, and let's work on improving your ability to DHV with the help of routines. First, the concept of value. This is a term that gets thrown around a lot. When you approach a set, you may give value or take value. Or the interaction may be totally value-free. Here are some examples: 1. Value-giving. Walk up to a set and amuse them. They will laugh at your jokes. You've just brought the energy of the set up and have asked nothing in return. 2. Value-taking. Walk up to a girl and ask her to buy you a drink. You will probably get rejected. You have just asked for value from the set and offered nothing in return. 3. No value exchange. Make fluff-talk with a set. Talk about the weather, the Read David Deida's The Way of the lighting in the venue, what they're Superior Man. He gives a lot of advice on drinking, etc. Don't be funny or clever. relationships, and some may not yet Watch how the energy level drops pertain to you, though it is interesting. until you start getting IODs. Focus instead of Deida's explanations of what it means to possess the Value is something you should be giving out masculine polarity, and how it differs at all times, whether it be by complimenting from the feminine polarity. Also understand and internalize the concept a girl's fashion or vibe, giving kino, or flirting. Some girls will not be at all receptive. They of giving your gift (aka value). Adopt the mindset that you will go into will back-turn and walk away, take out their the world and give value, regardless of cell phones, tell you to shove off, start whether those you interact with are talking to each other and ignore you. These receptive to it or not. “blow-outs” will happen less and less as This is one of the most important your game improves. But for now, accept concepts you will learn. that they will happen, and that you must be
totally, 100% emotionally unaffected by them. It is your job to give value. Whether others are willing to accept or appreciate this value is not in the slightest bit relevant to you. If you get rejected, simply turn around and open a new set and start over. Become a man who gives value to others with no expectation of reciprocation. You can possess passive value, and you can have active value. If you are tall, goodlooking and well-dressed, then you have tons of passive value. If you roll in with hot babes on each arm, you have passive value. Girls will open you as a result, and when you talk to them, they will be enamored with you. Guys who lack passive value need to focus on active value. They need to have great subcoms, bring verbal value and have a seductive touch. Yes, guys with high passive value can skate by working less, but in the end, stellar game will trump passive value in most settings. A guy who doesn't possess a lot of passive value can still emanate value by the way he moves, stands and interacts with others. Your target will see this before you approach. So always be cognizant of these factors, even if you think nobody is watching. This is something I call room perspective; consider the room your all-seeing observer, and try to understand what the room thinks of you. If you're standing in a corner quietly drinking, the room thinks you're a social outcast and unattractive. If you're holding court among a 3-set of ugs, the room thinks you're a value-giving sociable guy. Always always always demonstrate the attributes of a high-value man, because the room is always watching. Next, on your approach and the subsequent few minutes, it is critical to employ all the tools I discuss in this book: qualifying, escalating, demonstrating value, disqualifying, et cetera. She will make her mind up about you in the first few minutes – sometimes less than that – so you don't have time to squander. She must feel your value right off the bat. The other way to show value is to read off your resumé, so to speak. You can try to impress girls with your car, your boat, your lake house. But really in club game, the resumé isn't particularly important. I know a lot of guys with amazing game, and they have no car, live with their parents, or don't have a steady job. Girls generally don't process this information logically the way men do; they tend to respond emotionally. So let's just set aside the notion of trying to impress girls with your material possessions. Ok, here are some ways to give value to a set: a. Kino. Kino is a way of qualifying. She loves to be touched, she loves your proximity. It makes her feel appreciated, and motivates her to comply further.
b. Compliment. Don't do it in an AFC way. Don't say, “I just wanted to come over here and tell you your calves are really hot.” Don't say, “Nice tattoo!” Pure chode. Your compliments should be a bit sincere, a bit playful. It's just meant to be bait to give her some validation and let her know you might be interested in getting to know her more. c. Engage the entire set. Don't consider her friends “obstacles.” They are only obstacles if they actively try to stop you. Otherwise, in the absence of such evidence, they are your proponents. Befriend them, guys and girls, and make them allies. d. Don't have an agenda. See my discussion on intent without agenda in Chapter 8. Girls like to be seduced, but they don't appreciate being “gamed.” Just be a warm, sociable, fun guy, self-amusing but also happy to elevate the mood of others. e. Make the set laugh. If you don't have a natural sense of humor, dig into the routines vault and memorize some ticklers to use when a lull approaches. Never seem like you're trying to make people laugh, because then you become the dancing monkey. In the ideal situation, there will be value-pinging. That is, you tell her something and she tells you a bit of information of comparable value. You kino her, and she kinos back. She jumps through your hoops, and vice versa. You always want a girl investing more than you to begin with, but ultimately you want a fair exchange of value. Here is the other side of the equation: girls must invest in the interaction and offer value to you. If you are doing all the investment, she is either not attracted or has no value to offer. Some girls simply can't keep up their own in a conversation or have nothing of value to contribute. It's up to you as to whether you want to keep plowing in these cases. But don't let your ego tell you that you must continue to try gaming a hard set because surrender is a reflection of your skill. If girls aren't giving back value, then fuck em. Eject and go find girls who are worthy of your time, who appreciate a highvalue man. It is important to demonstrate high value (DHV) to women. Don't do this to impress them, and have no particular goal in mind. Simply DHV because that is how high value men instinctively behave. They know no other way of behaving. Whether the room, the set or the girl takes notice of this should be unimportant; trying to actively DHV is a reactive mindset and something to avoid. So. Here are the steps to becoming a man who naturally demonstrates high value: Step One: Stop demonstrating low value. Step Two: Use outer game to project high value. Step Three: Develop your inner game to the point that it will by itself demonstrate high value, and then only use outer game strategically to
advance the seduction. And now, let's break this down. Step One: Stop demonstrating low value Some guys enter the community with high self-esteem and an ease with people. However, most men are not this fortunate. They are a big DLV with legs. They have poor body language, they seek rapport, they self-deprecate and they complain. First things first. Stop exhibiting all the behaviors that communicate and subcommunicate low value. When I got into the game I was 38. I had 38 years of bad habits to undo. This was a huge challenge, but I know from experience it can be done. It will mean setting your ego aside and taking a good hard look at how you're acting, the content of your speech, and the things that can and should be fixed. Some faults you may not be able to see or hear yourself doing; for these, wings or Make a list using NLP (UI, CI, CC, professionals are invaluable. UC) to describe where you are right now with each of these habits: Neurolinguistic programming (NLP) talks about levels of learning: Pecking 1. Unconscious incompetence. You're Not projecting your voice doing a task poorly but don't realize it. Talking too fast For example, you constantly peck but Not making eye contact have no idea you're doing it. A wing Looking around a lot in a venue Gesturing too much while talking points it out to you. 2. Conscious incompetence. You know Keeping your hands in your pockets you're doing the task poorly. When Holding a drink in front of you Not standing upright you're talking to a girl you keep Moving your body too much while noticing that you're pecking. And yet talking (fidgeting, bending down when you keep doing it. you laugh, shifting, etc) 3. Conscious competence. You do the Laughing too much at your own jokes task correctly, but have to exert Stuttering or filler (uhh, ahh, umm) mental energy in the process. You no Biting your nails longer peck, but you must constantly Cracking your knuckles Touching your face remind yourself not to do it. 4. Unconscious competence. You do Limp or crushing handshake the task correctly, and don't have to Not smiling enough/smiling too much
think about it. You never peck; it's no longer a behavior of yours. Review the exercise on bad habits on the last page, and figure out where you stand with each. In some cases, you may not know and may need to ask a wing to watch you in set. For each of these habits, you will now begin the process of moving towards UC. Your habits will disappear and your subcoms will click into place with months of discipline and training. The next thing to work on includes your verbal DLVs. All the unattractive things you say to people that may convey low self-esteem, lack of confidence, negativity or a load of other unpleasant attributes. Examples of verbal DLVs Complaining “This venue is too loud.” “The drinks here are too expensive.” “This is like the only good club in this city.” “I hate smokers.” “My friends dragged me out tonight.” “I'm not feeling the vibe here.” “I'd buy my friend a drink but he still owes me 20 bucks.” “This place is a sausage fest.” Self-flagellation “It was hard to get in this club. They only let cute people in.” “Yeah, it sucks being short.” “I don't drink because I'm poor as fuck.” “My back is killing me. I have a bad back.” “I'll take what I can get. I haven't gotten laid in months.” “I should lose about 20 pounds but I have no will power.” Depressing “My dog died last month.” “I'm afraid to travel since 9/11.” “It's hard finding work. I kinda wish I never went into this career.” “Did you see the news today about that kid that got shot?” “Anytime I try to exercise I wind up hurting myself.” Seeking rapport “Oh you like soup? I love soup too!” “Awww, you had a bad day. Let me buy you a drink.”
Bragging “I'm friends with the club owner so I get in free.” “George Clooney is a member of my country club.” “I had to go to Italy to buy these shoes but it was worth it.” In general, avoid the word “hate” when you talk to people. Eventually when your subcoms click, you can get away saying anything. But for now, avoid loaded words that convey hostility or a negative view. Your energy level must be appropriate to the venue and the set. Refer to the previous chapter on energy level. If you're too energetic, you'll come across as the dancing monkey or entertainer. Girls will ask you if you've ever considered stand-up comedy, or will keep telling you how funny you are. She may tell you to show her friends the same trick, routine or story you just demonstrated to her. The dancing monkey doesn't get laid. On the other extreme is the low-energy guy, Mr. Cool. He might appear aloof, quiet and even mean. Girls don't think this guy is cool, they just think he's unsociable. What kind of personality do you have? If you tend to be reserved, shy and quiet, you need to become the dancing monkey. Shoot your energy way too high, gesture too much, have too much inflection in your voice. Tell cheesy jokes. Entertain the set. Really push yourself to the extreme, and “It's hard to get into clubs. There's just totally out of your comfort zone. Once no love for cute guys!” you've gotten competent in the dancing “I'm the most interesting guy you're monkey role, start to dial it down to a gonna meet in the next 45 days.” suitable level. “I made an idiot of myself just now. My fly was open. That doesn't bother me, If you are the high-energy entertainer but then I tripped over my dick and already, then you need to start bringing your everyone laughed at me!” energy down. If you gesture too much, make an effort to keep your hands at your sides or in your pockets...or even better, put them on girls. Eventually you will learn to calibrate your energy first to the venue, then to the set, then to the target. You will ultimately bring your energy down into a seductive and Make an effort to catch yourself saying anything negative. Try to stop the words before they come out. Give yourself compliments when talking to girls, even if boastful. Examples:
sensual tone. Step Two: Use outer game to project high value Inner game is something most guys lack when they discover the community. And so, they have to use outer game to carry them through sets. As they become competent at talking to women, confidence follows. They also become aware of what their best self is and how attractive it is to women. And so, as they accrue confidence socializing in any situation, inner game will improve over time. In this sense, inner and outer game are inextricably linked. In the meanwhile, you must strengthen your outer game to garner attraction from women. This often involves “pushing buttons,” or purposefully hitting the typical attraction switches: leader of men, willingness to walk away, willingness to emote, preselection and protector of love ones. You must throw out alpha phrases, you must qualify, you must require compliance. You must employ routines which have DHV spikes embedded in them. My PUA Field Guide has tons of material you can use to generate attraction. I will give you the two routines I often use: palmistry and the cell phone routine. Combined, these gather a lot of information about the target and relate a lot of info back to her about you. If you use these routines over and over in the same night, girls will start realizing what's up. That's ok. For now, I'm just trying to get you to understand the concepts. When you understand them, you should craft your own routines and mix them up during the night.
Palmistry You don't need a reason to go into this routine. Randomly ask her if she's an Aries (or any sign for that matter). Remember to make statements, not ask questions: “You're an Aries.” She'll say yes or no. Whatever she says, tell her that sign and yours never get along. This is a disqualifier. Now, take her hand and ask if she's left or right handed. Start to look at her dominant palm, but realize it's too dim and that you need to sit down where there's more light. Hold her hand and move her into a better-lit isolation spot. When you sit, let your forearm rest on her thigh and take her hand again. Take a look at her dominant hand and tell her: “This stuff is from Vogue. So it's like 100 percent accurate.” If she asks you if you read Vogue, say, “My friends are always leaving Vogue around my house.” She should get that you mean
female friends, but if she asks if your guy friends read Vogue, just say, “Uhh...noooo...” Ok, so hold her hand with both of yours. Be sensual and soft with your touch, not analytical. Trace the line at the top of the palm that heads towards the index finger. Tell her this is the heart line. If it goes to the index finger, tell her she puts the feelings of others before her own. If it goes to the middle finger, tell her the opposite. For most people it goes in between the two digits, which means she tends to balance the feelings of others with her own. If the line stops short of the fingers, tell her she's a little reserved with her feelings; she doesn't usually wear her heart on her sleeve. After you go through this, get a sense of whether you're right or not. Don't ask, “So am I right?” Just look at her expression and see if you've hit. She may tell you you're right or wrong. If she challenges you, just remind her it's from Vogue and so you're sure it's 100% accurate. Now, move onto the head line. This one runs along the base of the thumb. If it's close to the fleshy part, she is practical and has her feet on the ground. If it's farther from the base, she tends to have her head in the clouds. She'll agree or not. Rub the mound at the base of the thumb and tell her she's passionate. She'll probably agree. Gently pull her fingers backwards. If they don't move tell her she's rigid and sticks to her guns; if they do move back, tell her she's a flexible, easy-going person (err on the side of flexibility when you do the read). Ok, now let's look at what we've done so far. We've assessed whether she's emotionally open versus reserved, if she is a thinker or a dreamer, if she's passionate, if she's strict versus easy-going. Not only is this kino and chick crack, but you are factfinding and qualifying during this routine. That's why this is such a powerful gambit; it's a real workhorse. Lastly, I look at the creases at the wrist when you bend it up (credit Brad P.). Tell her this is the important part of the read. Have a close look, then tell her you're afraid to tell her what it means. She'll protest and ask you to read the creases. She will usually have 2 or 3 creases. Tell her if a girl has one, she's a virgin. If your target has two creases, tell her three means she's a super sex goddess, and two means she's sexually frustrated. If she has three creases, tell her two means sex goddess and three is sexually frustrated. Either way, cast her as sexually frustrated, then look at her for a response. She'll either admit it or deny it. When they deny it, they do it emphatically. If she denies it, cast her as a sexual predator and act like you'll need your friends to keep their eye on you all night so she doesn't try to molest you. If she says she is sexually frustrated, promise to find her a guy in the venue who can cure her of this...point out the biggest chode and threaten to introduce her to him. So this last part sexualizes the interaction, and then disqualifies yourself in spite of the kino (notice the entire routine is sandwiched between two disqualifiers). This kino-pull coupled with verbal-push is a mainstay of my superficial attraction phase.
Cell Phone Gambit Get yourself a cell phone if you don't have one. Cheap old-school phones are actually the best for this routine. If you have an old one, you can use my faux iPhone routine. Otherwise, just go right into the cell phone gambit. The faux iPhone routine goes like this: if a girl is texting or has out her cell, pull out your old cell and say, “Is that an iPhone? I got this iPhone here for 600 bucks from some guy on But the pictures are supposed to move around when you tilt the phone and touch the screen, and I'm not able to do it.” (move phone around sideways, touch the screen and try to move the image around). “I think it's still under warranty I guess...” They usually say, “That's not an iPhone” or look at you like you're an idiot. Just snip and stack. Now the actual gambit. As you're showing her the phone, there is an ADORABLE image as your wallpaper. She may ask you about it, but if not, just start talking about it. For me, it's a picture of my dog Monty. If you Spend the next few weeks collecting have a pet, use that. Or if it's a nephew, use pics on your cell that you will use in the that picture. It has to be a super cute photo. cell phone gambit. Befriend girls with Now you're gonna start sharing information big racks and low-cut tops and snap pics of their cleavage; narrow it down with her, which will be the beginning of to the best. Do the same for pics of value-pinging. Once you start investing a girls, puppies, babies and other DHVs. little into the conversation, she will be inclined to do the same (though many girls will not, in which case you just close your phone and move on to another thread – don't belabor this routine if it doesn't spike her BT). I have a cute video of my dog playing piano. If you can capture a video that is equally awesome, show her that. When I show it I say, “This is my boy Monty. He's like a child to me. I would protect him with my life! Doesn't this just break your heart?!” Protector of loved ones switch...check! Now, go into your library of photos. You will have a series of photos that you will browse past on your way to the one you “really” want to show her, another cute pic of your pet/nephew. This series of photos will hit other switches. The very first pic will be a pair of boobs (just take the upper torso in a low-cut top – exclude the face. Heck, here's an example). This will serve as preselection. She will
always notice a pair of boobs, and will usually make a comment on them. You can either ignore her comment or say, “Eh, that's a girlfriend of mine. We were goofing around.” Don't make a big deal about it. Next, you will pass by other pics – your buddies and you (leader of men), something adventurous like rock-climbing, you in a rock band, more pics of girls on the beach or in your car, et cetera. Let each pic serve to DHV, but make sure it doesn't come across as try-hard or braggy. Finally, arrive at the cute pic, which with my dog is a photo of his butt, or him in a jester outfit. Quickly shut the phone and put it away. Any longer and you'll look like you have an agenda. Laugh with her about it. Now ask her if she has pets – but wait! She's not a cat person, is she? She will qualify about liking animals, not liking cats, and so on, or she may disqualify herself by saying she doesn't like pets. This is more fact-finding; is she kind and affectionate towards animals? For me, this is an important quality. Tailor the gambit so you have her qualify herself on the things you consider important. Step Three: Develop your inner game Being a routines junkie is simply not good enough. I want you to have the confidence to approach any woman, anywhere, with no canned material. I want you to go direct. I want you to have no fear in any social situation. To get there you need to: 1. Practice interacting with people until it's no big deal. 2. Be genuinely comfortable in your own skin. The great thing about field work is you will eventually develop a level of competence that will allow you to hook and get attraction fairly regularly. Blow-outs will become a thing of the past and you will find girls playing with their hair as you lock eyes and talk to them. You will realize that the words coming out of your mouth are virtually meaningless, while your subcoms are the engine driving the interaction. That is when your inner game has risen to the next level. As competence develops, confidence will naturally arise. And confidence is attractive. But going out and getting confident in social settings is only half the solution. The other half is to develop true core confidence. To get to that level, you need to stare down your demons. You need to get to the point where fear no longer inhibits you from taking action. You need to feel that talking to a woman is a gift to her, that you are making her night by being in your presence. This may sound conceited, but the truth is you are (or will soon turn yourself into) a high value man, through much toil and anguish. So why would you not consider the women you interact with fortunate? They will not likely meet men of the same caliber as you any time soon. When you have completed step three, you are at an intermediate level of pick-up.
Chapter Seven Frame Control and Qualification A critical concept in pick-up is that of frame control. Women may test you to see how dominant you are. Do you relinquish control of the frame at the slightest challenge, or do you wrestle the frame away from her? Do you jump through her hoops in an effort to supplicate, or do you resist and make her jump through your hoops? If she rejects your advances do you let this affect you emotionally, or is it clear that her behavior is outside your reality and therefore surprising? Women want to be women. To be a woman, she must be with a man who is a man. Women cannot relax into their femininity if they must also assume the masculine role. This is why they test. They are unattracted to men who act beta or who are predominantly feminine. Being emotional creatures, they seek stillness and security in a man. This is why height is so important; even if the man acts beta, his height will provide some illusion of security and dominance.
Read Swinggcat's classic ebook, Real World Seduction. Understand the theory of frame control. Begin analyzing your interactions to figure out who is dominating the frame: you or your targets.
Coming from an AFC background, the newb may be tempted at first to give in to a woman's tests and relinquish control of the frame. But always be aware if you are losing control, and regain control before you do. Use reframes, snipping threads that don't suit you, and self-amusement to help control the frame. Here are some frames that should be established: You are a sociable guy, and chatting with random strangers is what you do You are preselected, and you have a lot of women in your life You are talking to her to see if she meets your criteria, not vice versa You are willing to open up to a woman as long as she shares as well You don't tolerate low-value behavior in your friends, let alone strangers You have a busy social calender, but if she seems worthy you can fit her in
Girls will try to wrestle the frame away from you. It’s not that they particularly want the control. Some do, but most of the time what they’re doing is testing you to see how dominant you are. They want you to dominate them. They don’t want you to relinquish the frame. Here are some ways you can maintain frame control: a. If a girl asks you a question, first make her guess. Whenever she asks you to guess something, don’t do it. b. Be less reactive than she is. Get used to using fewer words and more quiet eye contact, grins and facial expressions. Keep your hand gestures a little tempered compared to hers. This sets the frame that she is working for your attention/attraction. c. Be more relaxed and comfortable than she is. Lock in so you’re leaning against something and she’s facing you. Same as with being less reactive, this sets up the frame that you’re the prize and she’s pursuing you. d. Be illogical and non-reactive when challenged. She’s trying to throw you off guard either with shit tests or logical threads that break her own state. Don’t fall for it. Redirect everything back into your reality, your frame. So, how do you quickly establish frames? By qualifying. It may be subtle, such as, “Oh, I can tell you love your job. I really respect that.” This sets the frame that you are screening her, and are rewarding the values you admire. Or it may be obvious, such as, “I'm bored. Tell me three interesting things about yourself.” In short, qualification is one of the most important factors of any interaction. The subtext is always that of you screening her. Girls will buy into this frame, and this will permit frame control from the very start. A lot of guys aren't sure how or when to qualify. He might do a little attraction material, then go into “so tell me three things about you that would make me want to know you better” or something like that. When I started out, I did the same thing. I ran my attraction routines (A2), then when I got some IOIs, I'd run the A3 qualifier. Sometimes she responded, sometimes (if there wasn't enough attraction) she'd get offended. It was clunky and I really didn't understand the mechanics behind it. Then I realized that qualifying is essential to setting the frame of being a high value man. The subtext of your remarks is that a girl's appearance isn't enough; you require something more. So I started qualifying early and often, not just once I thought she liked me.
Setting that frame is in itself attractive. Once a girl is qualifying herself to you, it means she is investing in the interaction. She
is becoming attracted and trying to impress you. But more importantly, why are you qualifying? Just because? No, it's because you have a lot of girls to talk to (or “sets to open,” if you're in the PUA mindset). So you can't be wasting time with girls who don't meet your standards or who are not your type. Basically, when I'm in field, I'm always screening. It isn't something I DO. It is who I AM. A man with high standards. Hence why you hear people say “be pickup,” don't “do pickup.” I am not consciously trying to qualify girls because Mystery says that's what you're supposed to do. I qualify girls because that is how guys of high value are. I've known plenty of cat people and dog people, and I get along better with dog people. Cat people are kinda weird. So that is a common qualifying remark of mine: “Wait, you're not a cat person, are you?!” I am screening out girls who prefer to spend time with cats over dogs. It is something important TO ME. I don't recommend you qualify over cats and dogs if it means nothing to you. But DO find what is important to you in a woman, and qualify over it. Do you want a woman who potties? Whatever it is, figure that shit out.
Review the list of features you look for in a perfect 10, from Chapter 1. Create qualifying statements based on 3-5 of these. Go in field and begin dropping these comments and questions into your interactions, and listen to the responses. If girls are qualifying, then reward them with a hug, a high-five or a sincere compliment. cooks? Travels? Likes to fuck in porta-
Types of qualifiers Sincere qualifiers “You have a cool vibe. I wanna see you again. Let me get your #.” “Amazing, you love kids.” “I'm having a great night. I don't want the night to end.” Minor qualifiers “You're not one of those superficial LA party girls, are you?” “Ugh, please tell me you aren't into sports!”
Major qualifiers “Alright, so give me three reasons why I should get to know you.” “Are you good at giving head?” “Can you make a good breakfast? That's kinda important.” “I'm a huge film buff. What kinds of movies do you like?” Another concept that many guys don't realize is that when you kino a girl, you are essentially qualifying her. She is earning your touch, or earning sex with you, because she is trying to work for your attraction and is meeting your criteria. That is another reason why kino is so important. The flip side of the qualifier is the disqualifier. For example, a qualifier: “You're a Leo? Great, my best girlfriends have been Leos. We just seem to get along well.” A disqualifier: “Oh no, not a Leo! Libras and Leos never get along.” It is possible to disqualify and qualify at the same time, what is called bait-hook-realrelease. Example: “You're a Leo? Nice, my last three girlfriends were Leos. But then, we fought constantly...” This is classic push-pull. Be aware when you may be over DISqualifying. That is, don't be so picky that you avoid opening, avoid getting numbers, avoid escalating. Have standards, but don't use those as excuses not to run the interactions. Leave your ego at the door and see how far you can progress your sets. Ultimately, you want a girl to qualify herself physically or sexually to you. Example: HB: I'm a vegetarian. You: Really? Does that mean you won't eat cock? HB: No, I will. You: But are you good at it? HB: Totally! If she mentions anything about working out, or athletics, or hiking, or anything physical at all, use that as an opportunity for her to show her body off to you. Look her up and down, spin her, feel her up, slap her ass. And then you can either compliment her or tease her, depending on where you are in attraction. As I've discussed in the Chapter 5, once you have moved from superficial to deep attraction, you no longer need to make her prove herself as much. Your use of qualifiers can drop, though you should always be controlling the frame if challenged.
Chapter Eight Sexual Intent Going into the field and chatting up girls without telegraphing sexual intent will only get you so far. You will invariably end up in the friend zone, or more likely she won't bother to return your call. Girls want to get laid. If they think they are just spinning their wheels and you can't man up and make your intentions known, then they will think there's something wrong with you. You don't want to be the proverbial sleazy “horn-dog” but women do need to feel your sexuality in the way you speak, move and touch. You can be sexual, sensual or both, but a girl needs to feel it. She needs to be turned on. Something I see trip people up is either not telegraphing sexual intent, or making girls think you have an agenda, or both. Example of no or vague intent: you talk to a girl for 15 minutes but you don't touch her sensually/sexually, you don't flirt, you don't hit on her. I compliment girls a lot as a way of telegraphing interest. But I use diminutive words to describe her (e.g. “Look at you! When did you turn into such a little cutie over here?” or “You're so adorable.”) And as for kino, just doing friendly touches with nothing that telegraphs intent is dry and won't fire off her circuits. You gotta get your hands in there at some point, invade her personal space. Example of agenda: ONLY touching or talking to the target while ignoring the friends. Hesitating a while before approaching, isolating or escalating. Basically getting in your head, which even if done for a second telegraphs an agenda. The fix: always make it clear to a girl you want to fuck her hard. You can take the chance of making it explicitly obvious, but for socially savvy chicks, you can keep it nuanced and implicit. I frequently will randomly lean in, tell a girl she smells good, and then bite her neck. Who does that?! Guys who want to fuck, that's who. I can then move on with the interaction, but at that very moment, my intent has become clear. I never have an agenda. If I see a girl I'm attracted to, I approach without hesitation. I might work my way up her circle, starting at the ugs, but I do acknowledge and “game” all the friends. If her ug friend wants to kiss my cheek, I let her, TOTALLY happy about it. There is no rejection in my world (unless the ug wants to ride my face...that's a no-
no), only acceptance. I am giving value to all, and the target will be attracted to this. It is the persona of a high-value man. Sexualization is important to get in the habit of doing. Girls should know that you're comfortable about sex, that it's no big deal, that it's just a part of your life. Read my Field Guide on more about how to sexualize a conversation (it's in the kino chapter). While it's a start, sexualizing by itself does not imply intent. It just means you are interested in sex, though not necessarily sex with her. Taking it a step further, she needs to know you may want to have sex with her. You can be blunt and explicit, or you can play hard-to-get. That is, you may not be totally sold on the idea, but the option should be on the table. There are three ways to telegraph intent: 1. Physically (including subcoms). 2. Explicitly through your words. 3. Implicitly through your words. If you grab a girl and make out with her, and press your cock into her, you've physically demonstrated your desire. If you grab her hand and lead her towards the bathroom, you have demonstrated you mean business through your actions. Your subcoms like strong eye contact can also make her feel your intent.
If you have difficulty explicitly stating your intent, try these out in set. Repeat these until you no longer fear them: “You're coming home with me later. I'm not asking you...I'm just letting you know.” “You're so tiny, I could put you in my mouth!” “I'm an ass man. Yours is nice, but it'll look better with my cock in it later tonight.” “Don't get so close, or I'll be too embarrassed to stand up.” “You and I need to get out of here...right now.” “Hmm, you live far away. I'm not going home with you. I have to work in the morning.” “Nice ass. Yeah, I'd hit that.”
If you tell a girl you want to fuck her or take her home, you've explicitly communicated your desires to her. Often times, however, this sends up the ASD and works against you. Girls like to think that sex “just happened,” that random sex is not something you do. You had no intention of banging her but you were so compelled by her that it became inevitable.
Women are very intuitive and like a challenge, so sometimes implication and subtlety are better options.
I use my waffle qualifier to implicitly make my intent known. If a girl is trying to qualify herself, I'll ask, “So, can you make waffles? Because breakfast is kinda important.” The implication of this question is that we might sleep together, and I need a girl who can make me breakfast in the morning, specifically waffles. Another way to implicitly ask for sex is to send out a text at 2 AM on Friday night simply stating, “Hey, whats up?” Any girl who responds understands the implicit purpose of the text is for a booty call. If you ask a girl over to your place to watch videos, she realizes sex might happen. Here, too, there is no need to explicitly tell her to come over for sex (though you can if that's your style). In any case, you need to be comfortable and competent with all three means. Once you are, you need to learn how to calibrate your intent. This comes from working intent into your sets again and again and again. If you have a block that stops you from being open about your sexual desires, you need to get to work fixing that. If you find yourself apologizing about your passion, stop apologizing. If you are able to make sexual demands but have a tough time with subtlety, start to tone things down. Being seductive means being in control of your desires, but it also means being able to unleash them without hesitation when necessary. We are sexual beings. We have been put on this planet to fuck, or else the species would've gone extinct long ago. There is no special skill needed to fuck women. In fact, instead of piling on a bunch of tactics and techniques, realize that many times all you need to do is remove all the obstacles that you and others have put in front of you. Embrace your sexuality and let it radiate onto women.
Chapter Nine Kino, Dominance and Compliance AFCs like to sit and have a friendly chat with girls on dates. That is their usual modus operandi. The problem is, this doesn't create attraction. When they enter the community, they learn they must touch girls (kino), must dominate them both verbally and physically, and must work towards increasing levels of compliance from them. This behavior by a man is attractive to women, who tend to be passive and submissive by nature. Though they know they must act this way, the AFC finds these behaviors incongruent and hard to carry out convincingly. For many guys, what they say is the interrupt in their game. That is, they should just shut up and put their hands on girls. Talking too much and gesturing like a performer will not generate attraction. If you're one of these fellows, calm down. And understand this without a doubt: girls LOVE to be touched. If you can't snuggle up to a girl in a club, you're gonna have a tough time closing her later on.
Kino There are three forms of communication: 1. Verbal (the words you speak). Good for comfort, not as important for attraction or seduction. 2. Subcommunication (all nonverbal cues: body language, tonality, eye contact, etc). Always key. 3. Kino. This should make her light bulb go on: “Oh, he wants to fuck me!” Seduction is mostly kino: making out, rubbing her vajayjay, grinding on her. There are two basic schools of thought on kino, which I call: 1. Reactive. Involves calibration and testing the waters. Example: Mystery Method 2. Dominant. Involves minimal calibration, and dominating her physically. Example: RSD The benefit of reactive kino is you may not get blown out as much since you can gradually create compliance and comfort to your touch. The downside is it establishes a very beta frame. Dominant kino sets the frame that you really don't care about boundaries, and you expect her to comply like all women do. It means being truly unreactive to rejection, even on a subconscious level. It assumes attraction from the open (see Chapter 5). Here are some examples of kino. You should become comfortable doing the light
forms, and then progress to the heavy ones in time. Loud ADD dance clubs are a good place for you to desensitize yourself if you have a fear of doing the heavy stuff. You can get away with a lot more heavy kino in those venues. Light kino Hold her hand when walking around the venue Arm-in-arm when walking Touch her shoulder with the back of your hand when making a point Squeeze her arm when saying something funny Rub her arms or hands if she's cold Palmistry Play with her hair Thumb sweep (put your hand somewhere like her back, and sweep the thumb slowly back and forth) Cheek-to-cheek talking Tickling Maintain handshake after the name exchange Handshake to claw (shake her hand and pull her into a claw with the other arm) Pinky-pull (do a pinky shake and then pull her into you) Grab belt loops (to pull her in or hold her in front of you, briefly) Check out her guns if she mentions the gym or you role play her as your bodyguard Hugging (and side-hugging) Twirling her Sit with your thigh touching hers High-5s Cheek kisses Heavy kino The claw as you open (the claw is simply putting your arm around a girl's shoulders and not letting her go) Bite her neck Massage her shoulders Ass slaps Grab hair and pull her head back Smell her neck Kiss gambits and makeouts Touch her belly Pussy kino, boob kino (credit Gambler. As you're talking with a drink in your hand, let your hand briefly graze her tit occasionally (boob kino). As you turn to walk away, reach for her hand but “accidentally” graze her pussy (pussy kino)). Have her sit on your lap Have her stand between your legs Dance game Hug and lift, carry off, etc (caveman style) Squeeze her thigh while talking
Hold her waist or hips when talking to her Push your cock into her while she's facing away Of course, anything else sexual Note that you always perform kino as if it's no big deal, and it's not something you think about as you do it. Of course you may be thinking about it at the time, but she should never know this. Eventually, it'll become something you truly don't think about, and then all your subcoms will fall into place. Keep pushing the level of kino you do in sets until this click happens. If you aren't comfortable doing heavy kino, for now it's ok; that's more intermediate level game. I included it so you can know what it looks like if you should decide to try it out. We're not gonna discuss heavier forms of kino like making out or foreplay. Those are intermediate and advanced skills. Touch girls the moment you open a Kino should also typically be brief at first. As set. Try these: you are learning to calibrate it, you may do it too long or too often. That's fine. It's better As you say your opener, touch two of to overshoot new techniques at first, then the girls on the shoulders for a second, bring the level down as you gain calibration then release. skills. So to begin with, really feel those As you open with something cheeky chicks up. Be Mr. Creepster. Make girls and cute, briefly touch your shoulder to blow you out because you're touching them the shoulder of a girl. Try “you guys are too much. You'll probably get some trouble!” disgusted looks and “stop touching me!!” Smile at a girl and lock eye contact, put Learn to expect this and embrace this. out your hand as if to dance. When she Welcome these blow-outs, because they puts her hand in yours, give her a spin. are part of the learning process for many guys. Yeah, I used to think touching girls would creep them out, but believe me, after being grabby with 1000s of girls in clubs, they rarely respond negatively. With practice, you won't hear those comments and girls will start to respond favorably to your touch. Not only will the pressure, timing and length of kino be just right, but your verbal game will facilitate compliance. At these points, you should be touching exactly where, how and when you need to spike her BT. Your touch will make her feel your dominance and cause her to release endorphins. As you escalate, she will get horny. Job well done!! But before you get there. You must accept the fact that kino is key to night game. You must not shit your pants thinking about it. You must be 100% convinced that she will be receptive to whatever you do, and if she rejects your kino, it completely confuses
you. Rejection should be outside your reality. As with many aspects of game, this is all inner game.
Dominance Proximity is key to dominance. This is something that took me a while to realize. Standing a couple feet away spitting routines at her is not seductive. You need to be all up in her grill. Become a close talker. At first, you can just stand shoulder-toshoulder with your girl (even if it's an obstacle). As you spend more time with her, you can turn to face her directly. Of course, you can open by facing her, but this may intimidate you right now. So just try talking to girls while invading their personal space.
Try these forms of heavy kino: For no reason, as you're standing close to a girl, tell her she smells good, put your nose in her neck, then bite it briefly. Snip and stack as if nothing happened. Hug a girl and lift her into the air. You can bite her neck afterwards. Slap her butt. Try to get as many ass slaps in a night with different girls as you can. Grab a girl's head and try to make out with her. As you hug a girl, put your fingers in her hair and gently pull her head back for a moment. If you're standing behind a girl you've been gaming, or are dancing with her, press your hard-on into her.
If you spend all night in a girl's face, you'll probably freak her out. So after you've made it a belief that it's ok to be that close to a girl, start calibrating this just like the rest of your kino. Spend some time in her face to spike her BT, then back away to make her feel the loss. As you say something amusing, reach up and grab her hair with both hands, then let go and gesture with your hands. Take hold of her the charm hanging on her necklace, or gently touch her earring, then let go. Grab her bracelets and play with them briefly while commenting on them. Have no respect for her personal boundaries. Mix in this proximity effectively and she will simply accept it. If she doesn't, then she's probably not affectionate enough for you anyway. But that's besides the point; I want you to be totally comfortable with kino and proximity, regardless of how girls respond to it. You will be surprised how you leave a set thinking you've creeped a girl out, only to realize when you reopen that your absence caused a sense of loss, and she is still receptive.
Girls should be increasingly compliant, both verbally and physically, as you are talking to them. You can either create hoops for them to jump through which ease them into compliance, or you can just hit the ground running with total dominance. Most guys
start out with the former, since dominance requires a lot of confidence, and guys tend to lack confidence when dealing with hot girls. Here are some ways you can assert dominance: a. Control the conversation. If she goes in a direction you don’t want to go, snip and stack into something you want to talk about. Always set the agenda. Always move the interaction towards seduction. b. Control the frame. See Chapter 7. c. Be physical. Don’t wait for permission to escalate. Just do it. d. Violate her personal space. Get all up in her grill in no time flat. Break down any space barrier she has, from the moment you walk up. Touch her jewelry, play with her hair as you talk to her, rub her belly, et cetera. Be a close-talker. If she calls you out, just say you didn't even realize you were doing it; you're just a touchy guy. e. Invite yourself to sit down with a seated set. Make them make room for you. “Scoot scoot!” f. Say what you mean, mean what you say. If a girl is sexy as fuck, tell her she’s sexy as fuck. BUT, do it in a way that is socially well-calibrated. Don’t be a douche bag. So your end goal will be assuming a dominant role from the approach. But let's start with gradual compliance.
Compliance If you walk up to a girl and are value-free or value-taking in your words and subcoms, you have no right to assume she will be responsive to your escalation. However, if you enter the set value-giving, you can assume she will be warm to your touch and proximity. So what greases the wheels of escalation is the value you bring to the set, and the value she feels from you before your approach. Refer back to Chapter 6 for further discussion. When you are just starting out in the game, you will probably have no idea what is valuable to women, how to introduce kino correctly, or what your subcoms should look like. The point of going out in field is to first wrap your head around these ideas, but then internalize them and make them automatic. I no longer think about escalation...it just happens. I never try to give value, I just say things I know will do it. I never have to concern myself as to whether I am taking value from a set. But yeah, when I started, of course. I had to think about all those things and more, and I was constantly in my head. That's why drinking is counter-productive; it doesn't permit the neurons to form new synapses, or for the necessary alteration in brain biochemistry. Transformation requires presence of mind. Ok, so it's your first night out in the club. You approach, you run your attraction material, you do a little kino.
And you bomb. The girls back-turn and walk away. They look at your hand when you touch them, with a creeped-out expression. It's ok. Your subcoms are still AFC, even if your verbal game is spot on. You still have fear in your vocal tonality. You still hesitate and seem unsure just a fraction of a second too long, and girls detect this. Your eye contact isn't totally confident. There are so many subtle subcoms being sent out at once, that you can't possibly think about or control all of them. So something goes awry and your set does not comply. Or worse, they blow you out hard. First off, don't let this affect your state. Rejection will invariably happen during your learning, and you must not consider it a bad thing. These sets are just giving you some free feedback about your game. Be appreciative and move onto the next set. To get upset is to allow your ego to run the show. Expect the following IODs to derail you: 1. The cell phone of doom. Your target or friend pulls out her cell and starts texting. You can recover with my faux iPhone routine, or by saying “is that a calculator? Who brings a calculator into a club?” or “Hey, this is what I do when some chatty girl is talking my ear off. I pull my phone out and pretend like I'm texting. Sometimes they get it, but usually they just keep blabbing away in my ear.” (the last one is the most effective...they usually start back-peddling because you've called them out on their rudeness). 2. They turn and walk away. Often this is so fast, you can't stop it. If you can, grab her shoulder and say “wait wait wait!” and snip and stack into a new thread. 3. She and her friend eye code and the friend pulls her away. Sometimes friends will cock-block out of habit, even if your target is enjoying the interaction. It is simply the law of the club, no matter how unfair it seems. Next time, give more value to the rest of the set. Flirt, kino, compliment the friends. It's best to be proactive to prevent cock-blocking. 4. Verbal IODs. They tell you off, say “go away,” or some flippant response. Regain control of the frame with something like “hey, daddy's talking” and resume the thread. 5. I've had girls stand there and look at me, not smiling or saying anything. Some people are socially inept or have no value to give. Why waste your time with them? Plow a little, but then move on. 6. Though not an IOD, they may shit test you. Stare her down confidently and deflect the shit test. My Guide has examples on dealing with these. Plowing past shit tests usually unlocks the set and gains you respect. In summary, do whatever you can to push past these IODs. Put your foot down and be assertive. In time, they will happen with less frequency. Hooking a set is one of the first compliance tests.
In the first few minutes, as you enter her comfort zone and escalate rapidly, she will usually be receptive when your subcoms and verbal game are up to snuff. But on occasion, she will IOD. While the above IODs are common when you first start out, they get replaced by a single IOD: the backwards drift. As you're talking to a girl, she will gradually start moving away from you. You move closer, she moves back, and so on, until you realize you're chasing her backwards. This is not good. When you notice this, you need to reciprocate IODs (false time constraint, disqualifiers, body rock away or just eject and game an adjacent set). Continuing to pursue her while she's IODing is a sign of low value. You may not detect this at first, but with time in field your calibration skills will sharpen and it'll dawn on you what's going on. Next, you isolate. At this point you should be mini-isolated, which means you have taken her a couple steps from her group and are holding a 1-on-1 interaction. Isolation is much more potent, so come up with a few ways to get this done. Grab her hand and walk her to another part of the bar using some form of plausible deniability: 1. Use my palmistry routine. 2. Say your feet are tired and you want to sit down for just a second. 3. Take her to the bar so you can get yourself a water. 4. Go outside to smoke if that's your thing. 5. Take her to meet your friends, or merge her into another set briefly to make her feel safe, and then isolate. Definitely have a plan to isolate, since that is a key compliance test which will pay off. Once you have isolation, continue to game and escalate until you are in deep attraction, and then work towards the close (which is intermediate and advanced level game). So to review, the main points of compliance are: 1. Give her intense proximity from the open and then employ either reactive or dominant kino. 2. Hook her so she doesn't IOD. 3. Isolate. 4. Continue to escalate into deep attraction, then close.
Chapter Ten Putting it All Together Ok, fuckers, so let's review the game plan. Sit down and figure out what you want from the game, what kinds of women you find most attractive, and what you have to offer to them. Try to improve those aspects about you women may find unattractive. Search out locations in your area which will allow you to work on verbal and physical game, and a mixture of these two. Go out and open, open, open. Keep going until your AA is squashed. Don't give up. 3-5 nights a week is an ideal schedule to begin with. Fall in love with the game and let yourself get addicted. Avoid excessively reading pick-up material. Spend that time in field. Compile a routine tree from original or existing material. In field, test out the various contingencies and prepare yourself with responses. Develop about 3 minutes of material. As you deliver your material, stop thinking about it, and redirect your focus on your non-verbals like posture, eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, vocal tonality and projection. Fix all your flaws, and if needed have wings critique you. Train yourself to make positive assumptions. Eliminate negative assumptions. No more excuses. If you hear the voice in your head making an excuse, don't argue with it. Just recognize that it's happening, disregard it and take the action you need to take. Get in the habit of assuming attraction from the open. Learn how to use your energy level to hook. Start calibrating your energy to the venue, to the set and to the target. Direct the energy of the target to follow your own, and bring it down to a seductive vibe. Understand what BT spiking looks like and how to do it. Use BT spikes to help escalate.
Get competent using disqualifiers sprinkled in your superficial attraction conversation. Give yourself missions to use them in every set: time constraints, “my kid sister”, “I don't date blondes,” et cetera. Have an arsenal of verbal IODs. Put yourself into a value-giving mindset, and don't allow your state to be affected if others aren't receptive to it. Feel what it's like to take value versus give value, and shift your approach entirely away from value-taking. Develop your inner game over time so that you feel you can drop the routines and still be charming and personable with women. Check in on your conversations and determine who is controlling the frame. It should be you. If not, then address this and make sure you are always in the habit of taking charge of the interaction. If a girl throws you off with something she says to gain control of the frame, learn from it and come up with a response for next time it happens. Develop a slew of qualifying statements, which can be sincere, minor or major. Get used to making a lot of minor qualifying remarks from the start. Always be screening your targets. At first expect it to feel clunky, but with experience it will get smoother. Figure out if telegraphing sexual intent is something you have trouble with. If so, overshoot by being explicit. Gradually dial down your intent. Employ light kino and learn how to calibrate it. Begin to pick up subtle IODs in response to your kino. Improve your subcoms, verbal game and kino until the escalation is well-received. Whenever you hit IODs from your kino, back up and figure out what you're doing wrong. As you get comfortable with light kino and calibration, shift into a more dominant form of kino from the opening. Stop calibrating, and assert yourself physically. Internalize the belief that girls like to be physically dominated. Get used to invading every girl's personal space. Learn to do it in a fun and playful way, and get rid of any residual creepiness. Understand the relationship between giving value and plowing. Once you've done all of the above competently, you have moved into the realm of intermediate game. Congratulations!!
