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Sexual Arousal Blueprint
The Only Program You Will Ever Need to Finally Get Your Dating Life Handled
THE PHILOSOPHY OF A SEDUCER
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PATRICK ARMEN How to Finally Be Happy
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The Unspoken Secret to Motivation
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Presence - The Magic Pill To Finally Get out of Your Head
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How to Find Your Inner Peace and Get Your Inner Game Handled
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APPROACHING
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CHRIS BALE The Effortless Way To Attraction
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Are You Her Fantasy?
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DATING
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CHRIS BALE How I Went From Lovable Loser to Dating 3 Women a Week
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Talk Like Casanova - A Conversation Guide For The Modern Seducer
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Fix These Mistakes To Secure A Solid Second Date
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Pursuing is Sexy… Chasing is Not
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How To Not Lose The Spark
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RELATIONSHIPS
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ASHLEY SHREVE The Only Way to Connect With Her for Life
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TEXTING HER LIKE A MAN
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ASHLEY SHREVE Steps to a Solid Phone Number
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The Gentleman’s Way to Setting Up a First Date
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The Gentleman’s Way to Set up a Booty Call
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SEXUALITY
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PATRICK ARMEN How To Be The Bad boy She Craves The Most Important Element Most Men Are Missing: Moxie
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INTRODUCTION
The Philosophy of a Seducer It seems fitting that the introductory chapter to this CliffsList Exclusive be concerning the philosophy of a seducer. You see, over the course of history, there stood a subset of men who moved at a different pace than the rest. They did not follow the current - they set it. These great men seemed to have a mystical aura to them, almost as if the petty concerns and tribulations of regular men did not reach them. They stood above, beyond, almost mythical in stature. Being a seducer is not entirely about interaction with the opposite sex. Great men have seduced women, armies, crowds, cities and entire nations - but you don’t have to think so large. Being a seducer can begin right here, with you, now!
“I was not handsome... But I possessed something far greater than looks” - Casanova Welcome gentlemen… The first step of your journey begins today.
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CHAPTER 1
How to Finally be Happy Being a seducer begins inside. It starts there and ends there. We’ve all heard that in order to be seductive, you have to be “alpha” or confident, but do you really feel alpha? Do you hesitate when you see a beautiful woman? Do you think a seducer hesitates? Do you comb your mind searching for the best opener? Do you think a seducer does that? Does what you show on the outside truly resonate on the inside? Essentially... Are you congruent? The fact is that most men today are not congruent. That’s the first clue to being a seducer, but more on that later. Here’s the dirty little secret to jump-starting your congruence: Feel good. You need to handle what’s going on inside, and then project it on the outside. This may seem esoteric or new agey but there’s no other way around it. The secret to opening the gates to your success is to begin to feel good about yourself, your life, what you want and what you will achieve. Most people focus on what they don’t want, that’s why they do not get what they want. Look man, your entire life you’ve been doing things right but in the wrong order. You already are a cool guy, but you play yourself down to please others. You were born happy, but you’ve been chasing things of little value that you think will bring you joy. Finally, you crave attention from women to give you the self-acceptance you’ve always wanted. You’re running in the wrong direction!
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It all starts here, now, with you! You know that feeling you get when you just step out of the barber shop with that fresh haircut? You love the way you look so you walk with a spring in your step. It’s almost as if that cute girl on the bus was checking you out. Wait, hold up - she is checking you out! It must be the hair... Right? Wrong! Don’t you know you could feel that way right now, for no reason at all? Seriously! We’ve been conditioned to find our self-worth and joy in finite things, but you will never find it there because you are infinite! I want you to learn to feel good right now. The way to go about doing this is quite simple: Put on a nice piece of music, look at pictures that inspire you, re-live the most beautiful memories in your life. Turn your attention away from what you do not want and turn it towards what you do what - and take this seriously. Everyone shrugs off this exercise out of fear; they don’t want to take control of their well-being and prefer to be victims. It’s too easy to live a mediocre life the way everyone else does. It takes courage and strength to lift yourself up from the current and drag yourself against it, forming your own path. When you do that, however, it marks the first day in which you no longer are part of the crowd. It is the first day in which you’ve joined the ranks of the great men of history - the great conquerors, the great thinkers, the great warriors and the great lovers. It is the first day in which the dust of mediocrity has fallen off your shoulders completely and you can finally take charge of your destiny. It is your right of passage. Flirting comes easily when you feel this good. Sticking to your diet is easy when you feel this good. Working to create your life comes easily when you feel this good. You will find yourself jumping out of bed in the morning, eager and thankful for another day on this earth, another opportunity to make your very existence the stuff of legends. That all begins with you. Be happy, right here, right now. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Be thankful and grateful - gratitude is the antidote to misery. Jump up and down, sing, dance and play! Make it a habit to feel good from within, not from without. That is the greatest strength all great men share.
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CHAPTER 2
The Unspoken Secret to Motivation So far, you’ve been learning how to feel good and happy from the inside. You feel jacked up and ready to go - but where to? How do you start this journey?
“The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.” - Lao Tzu All life is duality. That is one thing you must know. With every great love comes great loss. With every great victory comes great defeat. With great joy comes great pain. Life always has a way of teaching you the right lessons you need in the very moment you need them - even if you cannot yet see it. So understand that when you become able to generate happiness from within, know that it is not permanent and that you will also feel pain. There is, however, a way to keep on your path, in spite of the ups and downs.
The Great Secret to Motivation I know you’re worried. You’ve felt bitter pain, embarrassment, heartbreak and unparalleled loneliness. You learned how to feel great and now you know that you cannot always feel that way. Do not be afraid. There is a way to maintain peace - even within the chaos. That way is focus. Allow me to explain... I’ve been tested. I tasted depression, I’ve wallowed in self-hatred, I’ve hated my inaction, I’ve regretted my actions. I’ve been rejected by hundreds of gorgeous women, embarrassed publicly more times than I could count. I’ve had my reputation ruined, rebuilt, ruined and ruined some more. I’ve lost friends. I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been in love and have had my heart broken... And if you asked me if I would do it all again, I would answer unflinchingly: Yes. Let me ask you something very personal, and I want you to truly sit and reflect on this:
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How much are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want in life? If I were to tell you, for a fact, that you can have anything you want - absolutely anything, how high a price would you pay? Would you take the pain? Would you endure criticism, embarrassment, laughter, abandonment, hurt and much, much more?
“The master has failed more times than the student has even tried.” It’s all about focus. Everything in your life - who you are, who you want to be, the things you say, your successes, your failures, everything - is a result of where you choose to place your attention. The one trait all great men of history have shared was their remarkable ability to place their attention where they want it to be, instead of on the things they do not want. What that means is this: after eliminating clutter, there are only 2 things that exist; where you are standing now, and what you want. I want you to remember for a second the last time you spoke to a woman. Try to remember what happened. You saw her, that’s where your attention went. Then, you wondered if she was single, that’s another place your attention went. You thought about what was the right time to go up there, that’s another place your attention went. Then you thought about the best thing to say, another place your attention went. As you walked over, you worried about what her friends might think and if it would be better to befriend them first, another place your attention went. When speaking to her, you were worried about what she thought of you, another place your attention went. What’s the score? That’s 6 places in which your attention is divided. For the great seducers, there is only one place their attention can be found: on the object of their desire. The great seducers have no interest in the opinions of others, it’s a waste of energy. They have no interest in men who hover around women, they are flies to be swatted away - a minor annoyance. No, for these men, God himself would have to come down and stand between them and their desire.
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” In order to join the ranks of the great seducers, you must learn to direct your focus towards who you are, who you want to be, what you want to achieve, and what you’re willing to do to make that happen. Everything else is a waste of energy. Your fears, your doubts, your insecurities, opinions of
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others, tactics, lines, tricks - all of it, is just a waste of focus. It truly is the key to character, the key to charisma. When your focus becomes unshakable, nothing will be out of your reach. No feat will be too incredible. Focus is what builds strength, it is what will keep you afloat when times are tough and things are not going where you want them to. Through a concerted effort and daily repetition, you can turn your focus away from what isn’t going right, and towards what you want. Through daily repetition, you train yourself to focus like a monk, and you will build yourself into an unstoppable titan. Success then becomes a simple matter of reaching out and taking what is already yours.
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CHAPTER 3
Presence - the Magic Pill to Finally Get Out of Your Head If you’re still with me so far, you are already well on your journey to joining the ranks of the great seducers. For that I am truly humbled. Please do not give up - not for my sake, or for anyone else, really. Do not give up because to do so would be to resign yourself to mediocrity, to a fate worse than death.
“Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.” I want to jump right into presence, because once you unlock what it means, you will feel like Neo when he begins to see the Matrix - all of a sudden the universe just makes sense and women become as clear as day to you. Don’t take my word for it, try it out! Presence is a deeply spiritual concept, but also a very practical one. Once you start developing your focus through one-pointed attention, the next step will be to understand presence as the next logical step in the evolution of your inner game. I don’t want to confuse you with a multitude of concepts and explanations. No, the key to understanding presence is to first create the space to accommodate it. Your mind must be emptied - not filled, because presence is a state beyond thought. This might seem scary but it’s the opposite; when present, you act on your instincts, not your mind. When present, you live courageously, because fear cannot exist. Life becomes an incredible adventure. Presence can be understood as such: it is like a playing a song. You don’t play it to eagerly get to the end… you play because it is the playing of the song that is fulfilling in and of itself. That is essentially what presence is. When you learn to focus your attention only on what you want, the next step is to trust your instinct - to fall into a state of presence and enjoy doing what you are doing for the simple reason that it is more enjoyable than not. That’s the secret of the great seducers; they speak to women because it is a hell of a lot more
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enjoyable than not speaking to them. That’s where it gets to be quite personal.
Most men do not love women Wait - what? Yes, it’s true. How many times have you witnessed your friends quiet down when the beautiful waitress walks over? How many times have you been caught looking at a woman who delights you and quickly look away in shame? No. Most men do not truly love women. If they did, it would show on their face. Being present is not logical, it is a feeling. That is where your focus should be. There is no desire to conquer, nor a desire to retreat, only a sense of peace and comfort, like if the place your feet were planted in was home. All that talk of feeling one with the universe - it’s just another way to describe presence. Speaking of feet, it’s an excellent place to start. Whenever you see a beautiful woman, a flurry of emotion and energy is released, usually from the pit of your belly, just above your genitals, and shoots through your body.
But then, something terrible happens Within about 3 seconds, that emotion that was consuming your entire body gets overwhelmed by your thoughts, that come in and begin projecting in the future; “She’s busy!”, “Everyone will laugh at you!” “there’s no way she would be into someone like you”. And just like that, now you are afraid. Your thoughts begin to get stronger, and you start to remember all the times you’ve been hurt in the past, all the times you’ve been ashamed and embarrassed and felt alone. Maybe it’s best not to put yourself on the line like that anymore. And just like that, now you are anxious. So where does this relate to presence? Well, fear exists in the future, and anxiety has it’s roots in the past, none of which exist in the present. So what can you do to force yourself into presence? Focus on your feet. That’s it! That’s all you really need to do. When you begin to feel that flurry of emotions released in your body, don’t think! Don’t categorize it as fear or anxiety. Don’t give your mind time to analyze and talk you out of it. Instead, just turn your attention to your feet and begin to walk. Don’t think of
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what you need to say or do - you are one of the great seducers of the world, all of that will come to you in due time. Just focus on your feet; one step, next step, next step… And before you know it, you are deep in conversation with an incredibly stunning woman, soaking up her divine feminine energy and just basking in the refreshing feeling of being surrounded with beauty. When you learn to become present, confidence is an afterthought. There is nothing to fear, and everything to gain. Through presence, you learn to trust yourself.
“How do I know this to be true? By looking inside myself ” - Lao Tzu
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CHAPTER 4
How To Find Your Inner Peace And Get Your Inner Game Handled This is it. This is where it all leads to. Don’t you see that nothing in the rest of this book will lead to any good unless you get this part of your life handled. You see, who you are truly and deep down will always be coming through. There’s is no amount of cool lines, awesome tricks and witty comebacks that will sufficiently mask your fears, insecurities and doubts. That’s what most guys don’t realize… Your eyes betray you, they always do. So you can spend your time finding intricate ways to hide your problems and never quite deal with them… Or you can finally take charge and confront your fears to create real, lasting, cellular level growth. There was a guy I knew back home who had been learning pick up for about 7 years. This in itself would not have been remarkable if it weren’t for the fact that he was abysmal at speaking to women. Worse still, he discouraged newbies to push themselves, hated on anyone who progressed and simply did not make the effort to change. Where others would mention they did not like loud clubs, he would point out how much he hated them and simply didn’t go to them - he always hung out at the same dive bar. Where others got really good, he would always attribute it to
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some fluke like their looks, even though all it really takes to be handsome is to hit the gym for a few months, whiten your teeth, get a new haircut and dress slightly better. I can go on about this for a while but the point is simple: That guy never progressed because he never took the time to challenge himself, to confront his demons and face his fears. He played it small and stayed small, gradually filling with bile and hatred towards those who surpassed him. He’s not a unique example either - the seduction and self-development industries are littered with people just like him. So if you want to just learn some lines and ‘how to’ tactics then by all means, skip ahead, just bear in mind the kind of fate that awaits those who feel they are above the process. Lines and tactics just become a band-aid, a substitute for never fixing your real issues and thus, never graduating into true manhood. Still with me? Good. Do you know what the difference is between situational confidence and core confidence? If you were to step into the same scary nightclub every night for a year, it would start to feel like home… Right? Now what happens if I take you and shove you into an entirely new place? Just like that, the confidence you felt at the first nightclub will have evaporated and you have to start from scratch. A lot of people have situational confidence - and that’s not a bad thing either. Go out, as often as possible and in different situations, experience as much as possible. However, the truly sustainable way is to achieve core confidence. Core confidence is more difficult to grasp, but there is one existing ‘hack’ to jumpstart your core confidence. In a nutshell, core confidence can only exist through minimizing of the ego. Look at what we covered in chapter one - being happy for the sake of being happy. That was an exercise in minimizing the ego. The ego is the ‘because’, it is the rationalizing goblin that will constantly seek to compare you to others, to diminish you or validate you depending on the situation. Wise men spend lifetimes meditating to conquer the ego, but you don’t have to conquer it - you must simply learn to diminish it. Through love. That’s the secret ingredient that will jumpstart your core confidence. It’s always been about love. Think about it; ego is a reason. I feel good because I’m good with women. I’m good with women because I went on a date with Jenna last week. My friends think I’m cool because I know all
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the good spots in the city. I am attractive to women because I go to the gym every week. I am interesting to women because I have a 6 figure income. As long as this ‘because’ exists, you will live at the mercy of others. The ego is the fulfilment of an unspoken contract between you and society. I will live by your rules, and in return you give me validation and an identity when I behave. Fuck that. When you refuse to play by those rules - when you annul the unspoken contract, you take a giant leap towards living like a lion.
“The moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom” - Osho And how do we take that first step? By removing the ‘because’ and learning to live in love. How do we remove the ‘because’? By simply letting go. In order to love, you must first let go. Don’t resist it, don’t fight it, don’t push against it - just let go. Let it all drop, let it all fall away. Let go of what no longer serves you. You’ve played society’s game for far too long and it hasn’t gotten you anywhere near where you want to be, so just drop it. Letting go is about no longer clinging, and trusting in yourself, the process, and that the world is as it should be. This is your challenge - to take a step off the wobbly throne of the ego and begin to tiptoe your way onto the unshakable foundations of your true inner strength, core confidence. Just let go and stop clinging!
“We only lose what we cling to” - Buddha So I ask the question I asked in the previous chapter: Do you truly love women? You cannot love women if you cling to their reactions to validate you as a man. You cannot love women if you try to take them home to prove a point to yourself, your friends or others. You cannot
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love women if you view them as a prize to be acquired and conquered. You cannot love women if you cling and hoard and get jealous. You cannot cling to them. Has it ever happened to you that you finally managed to get a woman to like you, and so you crashed down onto her like a smothering tsunami, sacrificing your life, your passions, your dreams to make her stay with you? Do you clench up if a man speaks to your woman? Do you get nervous and anxious when she goes out with her friends? The true lover is in love with his own love of women. This is the secret to that core confidence. This is the key to being able to walk across the room, in front of everyone, looking deep into her eyes and literally making her fall in love with you. At night, during the day, in a mall, at a business meeting - wherever. When a man who truly loves women walks into a room, they feel it right away, they all do. This is what distinguishes the great men of history from the nobodies and mediocre average Joe’s. The true seducer is so in love with women that he is in love with his own love of women. Practically, what does this look like? He knows that speaking to a stunning woman is nothing scary, nor is it something he needs to defend or explain. He is a great lover, nothing more to it. When he speaks to women, he does not look for anything in return and instead, is constantly ensuring that she feels incredibly beautiful and unique in his eyes. If she were to be rude to him, he would simply smile to himself, knowing it to be just girls being girls. Nothing to worry about there. All women are beautiful, everyone is art.
Own who you are This is the final piece of the puzzle I will give you. Understand this, internalize this, and everything else you read in this book will fall into place easily and beautifully. The element all great men of history - the great seducers, the great conquerors, the great thinkers, the great lovers… What they all had in common was their complete and total acceptance of who they are and their desires.
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When did it become shameful to be a man? When did our finding women to be incredibly beautiful become something we had to hide and be ashamed of? Loving beautiful women is what we do. It is what nature intended us to do, it is what we are programmed to do. Own it. Stand with your two feet on the ground and own who you are. I am a man. I love women. I will not make excuses for who I am. I owe no apology or explanation. What others think of me is not my business. Everyone has the right to invite, everyone has the right to refuse. If you are a beautiful woman, I will walk right up to you without shame and show you that a real man still exists on this earth - that we are not extinct. You don’t have to like me and that is your right, but I will show up as a man.... Every. Single. Time.
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CHAPTER 1
The Effortless Way To Attraction Luckily for us men, a woman’s attraction is not a choice. A woman’s looks is far more important to a man, than a man’s physical attractiveness to a woman. So, with that being said, if you did not win the chiselled jaw-line lottery when you were born, all is not lost, and you can still meet, attract, and seduce women of your dreams. The reason behind this stroke of luck, is that men and women are attracted to different things. Men are instantly engaged and aroused by how a woman physically looks. Everything from the size of her breasts, to her hips, ass and legs. Young, pretty and possessing specific features that advertise health and fertility are most stimulating to a man. I am not saying this is the be-all end-all, but it is the most attractive aspect of femininity to mans raw masculine self. On the other hand, women are attracted much more to how a man makes her feel emotionally. How he stimulates her emotions via his presence, body language and what he communicates nonverbally. Of course, let’s not be silly here, a woman is going to be attracted to a physically broad, stereotypically handsome Channing Tatum-like guy, but ONLY initially. I have many very good looking male friends who get initial attraction from girls but always seem to blow it and kill whatever they had. Likewise my female friends verbalize to me on a regular basis how they met a beautiful man, and he quickly became hideously unattractive and infuriating based on his behavior. This can be anything from him speaking endlessly about his talents and material possessions, or it could be down to the fact he has absolutely no clue how to engage and excite a woman. Basically being boring, predictable, and safe.
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Those 3 words are the most common verbalizations I hear from women who have aborted an interaction, date, or relationship with a guy. It does not matter if you look like George Clooney or Andy Dick, once you have engaged in an interaction, the playing field is even. Either stimulate her emotions from a deep understanding of the feminine, or you failed to do your job and fulfil your role. I am not the best looking guy, so once I realized that truth, everything opened up to me, and the prospect of dating the hottest women became a solid reality. The key to Effortless Attraction is first understanding what women react to on a deep biological level, then stripping EVERYTHING else back, only delivering the bare raw necessities. This is what I have honed over the previous few years. If you were to see me interacting with a girl, I would not even pop up on your radar. I would be chill, laid back, not hugely expressive, pretty quiet, not talking much, and just listening. Although I would pop up on your radar when you see me walking with her to the toilet after 10 minutes to have sex. My seduction style is simplistic, discreet, but INTENSE for her. It’s like a bubble. A sexual energy bubble. Most guys assume not having anything to say is the worst thing in the world. Men loathe the idea of having an awkward silence. What if I was to tell you that those moments of silence, combined with sexual eye contact could be your most powerful tool EVER. As I have stated above, men are attracted to physical beauty, women are attracted to emotional stimulation/fluctuation. She basks in feeling of uncertainty, moments of pressure. This is all the opposite of the least sexy qualities such as predictability, and emotional boredom. Every other guy spends his time filling every silence with a forced funny or witty story. He stays in the one lane of making sure she feels one emotion consistently, in most cases this is a boring comfort. This is where social conversation lies.
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When a man comes along who gets it, and I mean really gets it, he can begin to give her what her bored femininity is craving. Excitement, induced through a range of fluttering and intense emotions, which are all the manifestation of working with the already present sexual tension. We are taught to avoid this at all costs because it feels “weird” or too intense. It is your job as a man to create it, sit in it, apply it and release it when you feel she needs. This must always be catered to each woman specifically as we all have different levels of comfort ability. This comes with the more you practice it and witness the different reactions you receive from different women. Awareness! You must be aware of her. Whether you realise it or not, she is telling you in every moment how she wants and likes to be seduced. You must really listen to her. NOT necessarily to the words she says, but instead to how she is FEELING about the things she is talking about. Question her on her emotions. Then leave space with silence for her to respond. If you can combine this with sexual eye contact, a slow resonant vocal tone(with pauses), looking at her lips, and consistently pushing forward via touch escalation, you my friend, will learn and experience so much of what she has to offer. It is not about the amount of things you say and do, it’s about the tension that comes from not doing them, and the silence it leaves between the gaps. If I could give you any starting advice it would be to cut down all the words you are saying by at least 70% and leave her do the talking and investing. This leads to her sharing more, and being a part of the seduction. A woman must in most cases open up to some degree in order to trust you enough and feel comfortable enough to allow you see her naked and enjoy her. Remember seduction is not something you do to another person, it is a dance, with both involved intertwining, being polarizing to one another, and in a way dancing. This brings me to the next part...
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CHAPTER 2
Are You Her Fantasy? People, ESPECIALLY women, follow their emotions. It is your job as the man to bring your reality with you into the interaction. This reality being the sex guy. The man who is open, honest, and vulnerable enough with his desires for her, to give her what she truly craves. The majority of women are in general EXTREMELY bored in their day to day lives. Yes, they may be happy to a certain extent in other aspects of their lives, but because of our current state of masculinity in society, women only get their wildest sexual fantasies met in one place...their dreams, (or erotic novels). Hoping, wishing, wanting a man to step up who is willing to make mistakes, and even risk failure to give her what she wants. Seduction is not words. It’s a presence, an image, and a lifestyle you project through OWNING the fact that you want her. You are accepting that you are a man, and you choose to become the fulfiller of her fantasy. In order to sweep her off her feet and grant her the fantasy she desires, you must first accept and come to terms with the fact that EVERY woman out there has a vagina, and the majority are consistently sexually unfulfilled. Most have come to terms with this and expect nothing more, not willing to ask for more. They move through their world pent up with sexuality so strong, that in most cases they cannot find a man strong enough to release it with, so they engage in mediocre sex and relationships, and go home and use the shower head to live out their true fantasies. She would much prefer this to be you. A man. WOMEN. LOVE. SEX.
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Yes, even the high class lawyer woman, the CEO of a multi-national company who draws from her masculine side all day. Yes, even the church girl, and the die hard feminist. Yes the older lady who you see walking her dog every day. They are all women. They all have desires and fantasies. If you have the belief there are good girls and bad girls, the lady and the whore, the prudes and the sluts, then you must lose this immediately as it is only hindering your ability to deliver. Every woman has a ‘good’ side, a ‘slut’ side, a kinky side, and a side where she will choose not to sleep with this particular guy for 5 dates. The reason for all of these sides is completely down to the freedom and the reality you have constructed for yourself. If you feel weird about escalating and giving her hot kinky sex in the bathroom of the club, or in the restaurant, or in the middle of a park...then guess what, your reality is not strong enough for her to go along with you and trust you. If you want to be her fantasy, you must OWN your intentions. The security and trust you have in yourself will allow her to experience and express that with you. It has become novelty to my friends, and many of whom have witnessed me meeting a girl of any social background, and quickly after meeting her, having sex in a toilet or bathroom. I have went by the name “Mr Toilet” on many humorous occasions. How do I do this? I own my desire and I know my role within her life and the seductive dynamic. It just so happens in most public places, the most private location, is indeed the bathroom. It has a lock after all :-) Once you have come to grips with these facts, you can then go about granting this freedom, liberation, and release to her and other women you meet on a regular basis. Words such as ‘spontaneous’, ‘passionate’, and ‘overwhelming’ come to mind when I question myself on what emotions and feelings I evoke in her. Here are some of the most important pillars to setting her free from sexual mediocrity:
1: Open As Your Unique Self Initially, a woman will not even tolerate your interaction if you are one of the 1000 nice guy socialisers that approaches her on a weekly basis. The heading ‘Be Unique’, is actually quite paradoxical, as by nature we are all completely unique, we are just all forcing ourselves to adapt, fit in with the
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crowd, and copy everyone else. What I am really saying is be your authentic self via honesty and acceptance of your masculine raw desires. Remember, she WANTS to be desired. This makes her feel like a sexy and Impactful woman. For example, naturally, I am a very laid back, chilled and introverted guy. I am not hugely expressive in terms of emotions, meaning I am not up and down like a yo-yo. I don’t smile or laugh if I have nothing to smile or laugh about. Society use these “friendly smiles” as a coping mechanism, and dish out thousands of forced expressions a day. Seriously...what the fuck are you smiling at? With this in mind, when I walk up to a woman, I am not like the previous 400 people she has interacted with. I’m not necessarily smiling, I’m so calm that one would see it as unusually calm, and this alone creates a tension which turns sexual very quickly. When I’m interacting with a woman, my presence jolts her. I wake her up and snap her out of autopilot, she has no choice. So, the message is, stop following the crowd. If you’re happy, be happy. If you’re tired, be tired. You need not try to impress anybody...because the rest of your surroundings has the job firmly under control, doing everything in their power to be liked and accepted. Be your unique renegade. He exists within you. If this means you have to buy a new leather jacket to feel like a bit of a sexual bad ass...do it!
2. Be Sexual From the get-go, you must be ok with the fact you have a penis and you want to have sex with women. You must be ok with your desires. If that is your issue right now, then remedy this by verbalizing them. You will eventually be comfortable with your cock. You must have complete trust in the process. You must trust that all you really need to do in order to have sex with that already horny and sexually frustrated woman is to show up. That’s it.
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Walk over, say hi. Show up! Sometimes I will be very verbally sexual, but for the most part I play heavily on innuendo, supported by ‘I’m going to eat you’ eyes, and my seductive voice tone and speed. No need to transition in smoothly… ‘smooth’ exists only in your head. Arrive to her as you intend to finish. A lot of my interactions result in consistent gasps from her, and sentences such as ‘oh my god I cannot believe you just said that’, combined with my ever calm, self accepting ‘meh, what are you gonna do about it’ demeanour. Because, of course, it is normal to be sexual. Anything else is a lie. She knows why I am there, and I know. Hiding your intentions with supplicating behaviour is infuriating for her, and only drags you further away from your masculine core. I am VERY blasé about sex. It is not taboo. Its fact. It is nature. It’s life. Why would I not be okay expressing that? She would not be here if her dad did not seduce and animalistically fuck her mother. We are animals. The only difference is we have this huge amazing logical brain, which can really get in the way of our happiness sometimes. Actually, more times than not. If you want to turn on, seduce, and fuck a girl...you cannot expect to go over and talk to her about balancing your cheque book. (although I’m pretty sure you could turn it into some sexy innuendo if you are that way inclined) One of the greatest lessons I have ever learned is, a girl does not need to be 100 percent attracted to you to have sex, you must just get her wet enough. You will be there, offering her release and freedom from that frustration. Your freedom will allow her to follow through on those desires. So, focus instead on learning what women are sexually aroused by. What turns her on, where does she like to be touched. where is she most sensitive. I literally ask all the time. When they tell me, I see that as a green light, and a passive welcoming to begin stimulating her.
3: Develop Indifference Not only is indifference hugely important when interacting with and seducing a woman, it is also very beneficial in how you interact with your life’s circumstances. If you are afraid of losing every woman you are talking to by saying something possibly too forward,
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or stupid etc, then you will never be able to take her all the way. You must be willing to risk it. PLEASE STOP TAKING THIS SO SERIOUSLY!! Your results will improve quadruple-fold! This includes touching her, going for the kiss, taking her home or to a random public location, how you speak to her and what you say. The greatest tool to help you stay indifferent to your current situation is meditation. It trains you to be in the moment, and nowhere else. This detaches you from negative ‘what if’ thought patterns, and allows you to act impulsively with her in the moment. Being present is the be all and end all to every aspect of seduction. How do you expect to make her feel sexy if you are in a state of over analytical worry, dissecting every sentence you are about to say? Luckily, the presence was covered in the first section of this book. It’s up to you to put it into practice. Stop worrying so much. Focus on her!
4: Touch her in the RIGHT way Most men do not know how to touch women. I was the same, until I studied massage(which I recommend every man to do). I see guys doing it every day, and in bars and nightclubs. I call the move ‘poke and flee’. It consists of the guy awkwardly touching the girl somewhere like the arm or shoulder, but not with his hand, more so with his fingers in a poking motion. Once he has made contact with the skin, he releases after a millisecond and puts his hands back where he feels they belong...in his pockets. This is NOT fucking sexy, and does nothing other than telling her “I am incredibly uncomfortable with myself, you, and the notion of us having sex. I will suck in bed”. When you touch a woman, touch her like you actually like her, like you desire her body, her skin, her warmth. I am going to now replace the word touch...with feel. Use your entire hand, not just your stiff fingers. Place it on her sensually, being gentle, affectionate, and also respectful if she chooses to set any boundaries. I love and adore women, and I’m ok with that, which means it is only right that I touch them all the time to show them that. Women love being touched by a man who loves them, not a man who is trying to hide his desire and poke a woman awkwardly into bed.
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Enjoy the texture of her body… Her curves, her skin, everything! There is no such thing as too direct as long as once you touch her, you respect her response. If she removes your hand or steps back, fine, give her a while and test the waters again, she may just not be ready. If she says nothing, and doesn’t respond, but allows you to continue touching her, this is a GREEN LIGHT. She is passively giving you permission to continue. I love to hold her hand for an extended period of time directly on meeting. I’ll simply hold it until she takes it away. Other areas I touch are her lower back, arm, wrist, neck and brushing her hair behind her ear, upper thighs etc. Remember that you are there to turn her on, not mind her. Your touch should become increasingly more sexual the more she passively accepts.
5: Know your Surroundings It does not matter where you are in terms of location, you must always be looking towards the inevitable outcome of you seducing her to the point of a sexual experience and indulgence. For example If you meet her on the street, be aware of where you 2 can possibly get more heated privately, whether its local hotel bathrooms, or a big hedge. (I’m joking, but I’m also not joking). Always know your surroundings and become as familiar as possible so you can then relax and be spontaneously in the moment of the interaction. Fulfilling her fantasy is completely down to you. You show up, you lead, you push the dynamic forward in a seductive way as outlined above in so many ways, and women will begin to see you and feel you as the man who can offer them amazing pleasure. Be your authentic self!
Approaching No matter how long you have been involved in seduction, ‘game’ or ‘pick-up’, the concept of approaching is always the first hurdle for every man to face. That is exactly how it is designed and sold to men all over the world, as a hurdle. Something to win at or beat. When I think of the word approach, I equate it with sneaking up on a dangerous animal, somewhere where you have danger as an opponent. A situation where you have something to lose, but if you do
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it right, you have something to gain. In my mind, I do not ever have to approach a girl, because I never have anything to lose, ONLY GAIN. As men, we used to hunt dangerous animals every day to survive. We struggled through battlefields and moments of incredible danger. We ran strictly on warrior blood, which is the blood pumping through your veins right now. But men of this society and time are afraid of saying hello to a 5 foot 5 pretty girl. Don’t you realize how ridiculous this all is? So from now, let us not use the word approach. We have already established she is not a risk to us physically. We have also made it pretty clear that we have nothing to lose, ONLY something to gain i.e. affection, desire, connection, love, amazing sex, lessons, growth, understanding, offspring and consistent improving. ALL of these amazing gifts come from something VERY simple and completely effortless... “Hello” With the above being said, let us shift from the word ‘Approach’, to the word ‘Open’. Doing this switch, allows my intention, purpose, and direction to shift into a much more effective space, coming from a loving place, not a fight or flight place, which approaching does. When I think of opening, my mind goes to the image of opening up a box, to reveal the hidden magic, secrets, and treasures that may lay inside. This type of imagery can be attached perfectly to my intentions when I see a woman I am attracted to. To open her is coming from a place of curiosity. Who is she? How is she feeling? What does she like/ dislike? Why does she do the things she does? What makes her light up? What is she passionate about? - All these answers lay within her. Your job as the man, is to open her up. Approach anxiety exists. It is real except that it comes from wanting to take something from her. Opening excitement does not. You cannot be there to offer her something and feel anxiety of rejection.
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Every time you see a girl you’re attracted to, and want to speak to, but don’t, out of fear of rejection… you’re actually rejecting yourself! How many times a day do you reject yourself? Surely rejecting yourself is far more terrifying than a complete stranger who knows nothing about you? In my mind having her reject me is far less damaging than me rejecting myself. I couldn’t forgive myself for such behavior. I love me. Do you love you? If not...work on that first. Because realistically you are all you have. Opening comes from love and curiosity. I always say that my consistent success with women and my ability to seduce her comes from my genuine curiosity about who she is and how she wants to be seduced. Love and fear cannot exist at the same time. When you go up to open her, you are giving her the greatest gift she can receive from ANY man. She wants to be opened by a man who wants to open her - who wants her to open up to his invitation. Are you that man? If so, be excited. It is very easy! There are 2 components to opening. The percentages come from my experience of interacting with thousands of women.
• 55% - Body Language • 38% - Tonality • 7% - Words
I saw this very cute girl hurdling down the street, looking, well, just really American. She wasn’t, but it never matters anyway. I was very physically attracted to her, therefore meaning endlessly curious about her, so I instantly checked in and became aware of my physical body, feeling my feet on the ground to magnify my presence and ground myself. Then, with this very relaxed, chilled, and strong vibe, I walked up alongside her and said slowly and resonantly:
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“Excuse me...on a scale of 1 to Barack Obama...How American are you?” . Did she hear the words I said...not really. Did she hear how I delivered the words...YES 100%, and that really is all that matters. I prove this to guys by asking them to give me the most ridiculous opening line they can think of, and I go open her with it. When you realize this to be true, and trust in this truth, a massive weight and responsibility is lifted off your shoulders. The need for the perfect words and verbal opener is thrown away. You can say anything, once you deliver it in a masculine way. How do you deliver it in a comfortable and authentic way? STOP TAKING THE PROCESS OF SPEAKING TO PRETTY GIRLS SO SERIOUSLY. It is supposed to be fun. Women are not attracted to structure and in the meantime there’s you following a strict seduction plan. That only projects how badly you must need and want this. If you can internalize that being super serious is a huge turn off to a woman, you are free to be authentic by speaking your truth (desire for her) and begin to enjoy the process. Your comfort results in her feeling comfortable. You do not build comfort, you bring it with you! “Excuse me...have you found him yet?” jhWho?” “Nemo...but yeah...I’m Chris.” The purpose of an opener, is simply that...to OPEN her and shift her MOOD. Especially as she goes about her daily life trapped in her head and emotions. What you say, frankly, doesn’t mean jack shit, so please remove that pressure off of yourself. What matters is your decisiveness and your purpose. Women are not stupid, she knows why you are there.
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Direct is not about the words you say, it’s about why you are there and the permission you give yourself to be there. Handing her your testicles and purpose on a plate in the form of a bland, lazy, and overwhelmed compliment on her physical beauty is not what she wants. Although, if you struggle to tell a girl you find her attractive, then I would advise you to go and do that as much as you can for a few weeks in order to re-connect yourself to your desire. It will be a reminder of how you are allowing yourself to like girls, and also let them know. If and when you can verbalize your desire easily, Instead, why not share with her something original to you, such as your presence, or your light-hearted humour. Combine both of these together and what you’re giving her is a gift. A non-objectifying gift. If you are not endlessly observant and curious about attractive girls you see in your daily life, you are most likely feeling fear and anxiety. Shift your focus to being curious...notice things. Anxiety cannot exist alongside observant curiosity. To be observant means to be fully aware and involved in the specific person or environment. Your greatest verbal “opener” is your curiosity about her. ONCE IT IS GENUINE and not pre-planned or designed in a secret pick-up lab. I stopped a stunning Mexican girl recently, wearing this beautiful white linen summer dress combined with brown sandals and a pink flower in her hair...what could that possibly tell me about her? NO, not that she is cute, or “hot” or “fuckable”. The first words I said were - You look really expressive? If you meditate and also practice yoga, you may be perfect wife material.” Question her on what you assume about her. It’s much more genuine and strong than a bland lazy generic compliment. There is a time and a place for physical compliments! If she is hot, she knows this, and she has been told this by MANY men since she hit puberty. She is never opened up genuinely and asked about who she is by a curious and calm man. If you open from a grounded place, with clear relaxed intent… Women do not walk away or ignore you. The majority of clients I get, even those who have already went through boot camps with big pick-up companies, absolutely SUCK at opening, because, guess what… They are walking up to APPROACH HER, like the dangerous animal she is.
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Really? 95% of girls SHOULD be stopping and NOT ignoring you and walking off. Hopefully, at this stage, you will be understanding that opening a woman is more about your internal beliefs surrounding what you are doing. The level of comfort will come from the amount of permission you are giving yourself to show up as a man. Let’s get to the nuts and bolts of opening. Before you even think about interacting with a woman, it is very important that you assess what your intentions are for wanting to even start the interaction. This could be for many reasons, such as learning about how women interact and what they respond to, wanting to kiss pretty girls, get to know someone interesting, find a girlfriend, or casual sex. Figure out which it is, and then give yourself full permission as a man, to go for exactly what you want, making no apology and owning who you are and what you want. The above is all vitally important and will separate you from the hoards of men who approach women without decisive direction, and get lost in a directionless interaction. What this means, is when you see that beautiful brunette strutting down the street, give yourself full permission to interact with her. Some beliefs that helped me start interactions with women when I was first focusing on this area of my life:
- I make no apology for wanting to meet you - I make no apology for wanting to get to know you - I make no apology for being attracted to you and wanting to sleep with you
Sex is still such a taboo in society and many men are chained within the social belief that sex is a negative thing. The truth, is that we are all sexual creatures, and sex is the most beautifully wonderful and intimate act we can partake in, so celebrate this. Let go of the negative beliefs. Embrace your sexual side and share it respectfully and consciously with whomever inspires you. Let’s talk through the most essential and powerful steps to truly opening a woman.
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1: External Awareness: The biggest issue for most men is the feeling of anxiety and over-analytical thinking, which leads to inaction. This is due to a made up imaginary scenario which is self created, where all the worst things in the world will occur, and Armageddon will quickly ensue, resulting in the entire nightclub burning down, all because you said hello to a pretty girl. As a man who has opened women in practically every social situation, I can assure you the worst case scenario is NEVER the reality, and even if I am “rejected,” it is completely painless and empowers me as a man who takes positive action in his life. Therefore realize your mind is not your friend in this case. The quickest way to fix this detrimental pattern is to move your awareness from your own selfish thoughts to the girl, and how she may be feeling. A good exercise I recommend is to walk around in a busy area making assumptions, verbalizing what you are picking up from complete strangers. A woman may be sitting on a bench reading a book. How might she be feeling? How does she look? Her expression? Her mood? This is hugely beneficial for 2 reasons.
- this teaches you to project forward, forgetting about yourself - And your observation about her is always the perfect verbal opener to express (simply
starting a conversation).
Just yesterday I saw a girl walking very fast down the street. This, to most men is a red flag not to approach as they assume their presence will bother her. This is very arrogant of you to assume. So I jogged up beside her and said “You...look like you’re training for a marathon,” which was met with a giggle, and her expressing how she likes to walk fast to stay warm. You see, I have just learned something about her. This is my version of what I like to call an observational verbal opener.
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It is beautiful, because you are not approaching her in a stranger to stranger dynamic, telling her she is the most beautiful woman in the world; basically asking her to make a decision on whether she likes you in a split second of seeing you, whilst simultaneously projecting that you don’t care what type of person she is. Her superficial beauty states she is enough for you already...weak! When you make an observation on her emotional state, you in a way slide directly into an emotional connective conversation with her, which then can lead to you both sharing parts of who you are, without the added pressure of “do you like me yet?” Of course, it is still a good thing to compliment her on an aspect of her personality which you find attractive once you’re speaking with her. There is nothing wrong with telling her how sexy her walk is, or how cute her energy is when she smiles. It is something she has input in, unlike her perfect bone structure which was handed down from her parents (something she is reminded of by every other over-eager guy). I really believe this is why my seductions are so consistent. I see a girl, make a comment, draw her in with my presence and intent, and before we know it, we are intertwined in an organically flowing seduction, based on the fact we are both enjoying each other’s company, which is much different when you are approaching a girl to get her number. How do you possibly know you want to continue interacting with her if you have not even spoken to her yet? So, to recap on step one:
• See a girl • feel weird sensation in your body (anxiety) • Push your focus externally by studying her mood.
2: Internal Awareness Once you have pushed you awareness out and read where she may be at in her day/life, you then must become aware of your physical body in order to open and enter her presence with purpose. The guys who do not check themselves energetically before beginning an interaction, end up bouncing in like drunk babies or over-eager stuttering puppies. I simply put my awareness to my feet and imagine they are kissing the ground. I slow my movements down, staying focused not on what I am going to say (which never really matters anyway), but instead focused on my feet kissing the ground as I put one in front of the other.
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=This is a technique I learned practicing and studying Qigong, which would also be of benefit to you in terms of lifestyle. The basis of putting your awareness in your feet, means it stops you living in your mind, where really it is going against you most of the time and winning. Live in your feet as much as possible. When I open a girl “in my feet,” I am present, powerful, grounded, un-reactive, and ultimately chilled and nonchalant about what I’m doing/saying. Which in-turn allows her to trust you. You are being your authentic self. So, to recap from step 1-2: • See a girl • feel weird sensation in your body (anxiety) • Push your focus externally by studying her mood.. • Shift your awareness to your physical body • direct your focus to your feet • Walk towards girl, kissing the ground with your feet (before you know it you are in front of her)
3: Delivery: How you show up to a woman, and deliver who you are, is seen through many different aspects of your communication. Luckily, by following the previous two steps, you are already in a much more attractive place than the majority of men. Keep in mind that 80% of communication is expressed through your non-verbals. Body language - I move slowly and with purpose. Eye contact - Strong, clear, and direct, looking into ONE eye. I always go with her left. Voice - The way you express your words tells people pretty much everything they need to know about how you feel about yourself, and your opinion of yourself in relation to the world. Seriously! Most guys speak too fast and try and get all their words out quickly, combining this with a high pitched vocal tone. Around women the speed triples. This depicts nervousness, reactiveness, and a poor internal self-
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image. What you must realize is that not only does this make you even more nervous, but makes the woman feel nervous for you. Luckily, with some practice you can solve this and have it work for you. Practice how you speak and give attention to your voice. It is one of your most powerful instruments. When I first open a girl, I say one word, be it ‘Hello,’ or ‘excuse me’...then I shut up. I do not continue until I get her full attention and eye contact. This immediate space I offer allows her to react to my presence and I can then respond effectively, rather than steam rolling her with a gigantically drawn out verbal “opener” or pick-up line. Keep it simple. When I speak to a woman, I speak clearly, unrushed, and in a resonant tonality. This will be fed through your own feedback loop, and your body language/vibe will stay chill. You will feel grounded, allowing her to feel relaxed in the sense that “you got this,” and that she can trust you, as the man, to guide the awkward initial moments of interacting with a stranger. When men approach all jacked-up in fight or flight, even if she likes you, she will feel the uncomfortable negative tension, and will want to get away from it in any way she can. Forget about building comfort… by being comfortable, you make others comfortable in your presence. If you follow the above guide, it really does not matter what you say as your vibe will say it all, and that is what is truly sexy and seductive. So, from the top: • See a girl • feel weird sensation in your body (anxiety) • Push your focus externally by studying her mood with curiosity • Shift your awareness to your physical body • direct your focus to your feet • Walk towards girl, kissing the ground with your feet (before you know it you are in front of her) • Slow down movements and gestures
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• Strong present eye contact, looking INTO her eye, not at it • Deliver your observation with a relaxed, resonant tone without reactive fluctuations
The more you practice the above, the more you can forget about it as it becomes a natural part of your personality. You are either seductive or you’re not. Be seductive! If at any point you find yourself thinking analytically, or feeling nervous, this is due to lack of presence. Simply drop your focus to the soles of your feet, engage eye contact again, and your presence will deepen. Enjoy the process and have fun. Go open the women of the world!
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How I Went From Lovable Loser to Dating 3 Women a Week 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEARRRRR!
I was in a room full of people, ‘friends,’ acquaintances, women and men. As everyone celebrated, kisses were shared, hugs were delivered, and there I stood, completely alone…
I did not want to make people sick with how sad it was, so I slapped a giant grin across my face as I was so used to doing, to hide the sadness and depression that characterized my life at that time.
I rang in 2010 with a deep and profound realization...’I do not fucking care anymore.’ I spent the previous years of my life under immense stress to be 50 different people, depending on what I felt would make the individual like me the most. I had completely lost any idea of who I was, or who I might be. This resulted in my immune system packing in and my getting very ill on a regular basis with swollen glands in my neck. I put this down to all the frustration and anger towards life building up in my throat.
I had the epiphany that nothing is worth this pain, anxiety, depression, and consistent loneliness. How on earth did I expect any woman to be with me if I did not even know who ‘me’ was?
I had hit rock bottom.
I had two options, to end it all, as nothing was worth continuing this agony, or deciding to try one more thing...stop giving a fuck and be the guy who has nothing to lose.
This was the beginning of my life, I was re-born.
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As I was so terrified of what people thought of me and if they liked me or not, this was the first issue I had to deal with. How? By making an agreement with myself. If I felt angry...BE ANGRY! Don’t hide it. I gave myself permission to be a grumpy asshole.
If I felt sad...BE SAD! Cry, sob, sulk, externalize how I felt.
I had bottled up SO much shit for years that when I began to do this...the old Chris everybody knew, disappeared. I was no longer that forcefully smiley guy. I stopped attempting to force my naturally introverted self to be extroverted. I stopped being accommodating to everyone, and I chose to be entirely selfish, and first look after myself.
Now, I am in no way telling you to go and do all this. Because I am pretty sure you are not as damaged as I was.
My Seductive Epiphany Through the process of allowing myself to feel and express, something happened. I lost friends I had for many years. Why? Because I no longer filled my role within the group dynamic. I moved on.
By that time, I had also stopped with all the pick-up lines, routines, and canned stuff I had been learning and trying out for a few years during my damaged phase. I got very limited results, and when I decided to really stop caring, that was when I stopped caring about trying to get girls to like me.
I truly believed I was hideously unattractive both physically, and as a man. I didn’t even feel like a man. I felt like a scared little boy.
So, along with all the other safety nets in my life, I threw my pick-up books, videos, and paraphernalia away, and gave up. No more girls for Chris, I didn’t deserve them. That’s how I felt.
My seductive epiphany came one night as I was sitting in the corner of a dark bar, on my own, in Ireland.
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I was by myself, oozing a pissed off vibe...but an incredibly free and pissed off vibe. I did not care who saw me, how they felt about me, or what they call me. I was content in my pissed off state, with zero pressure on me to do anything. I left my pain at the door on New Year’s Eve. As I said, nothing was worth it.
As I poured whiskey down my throat, I noticed there was a girl standing opposite me with some friends. She was beautiful, but I didn’t care. I remember thinking “I would totally fuck her, but I don’t even care anymore.”
This was coming from a place of giving up. Letting go. I was not prepared to go and try to do stuff or take on a particular behaviour in order to impress her. That caused me pain and confusion in the past where after all my pick-up efforts never paid off, and plus, she was way too fucking pretty for me anyway.
We made eye contact quite a bit over the space of about an hour. It was in a very matter of fact way, with me asking myself why the hell does she keep looking at me, piss off.
I went to the bathroom, came back to my table, and over she strutted. She said hi with a warm smile.
I said ‘Hey,’ in a very confused way. I was waiting for her to ask me if she and her friends could take my table. This was not the case!
She looked at me square in the eye and asked if she could sit down. I said yes, in a suspicious manner.
“Are you ok?” she asked. “Yes,” I blankly responded. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look it. I’m Ciara.”
She extended her hand and I shook it. At this point she stood up from across the table, and came and sat down beside me on the couch. She was very persistent in asking me why I was there on my own.
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I was very matter-of-fact about everything. I told her I did not want to speak to anyone, that’s why I am in the corner. The conversation went very deep very fast. Before I knew it, I began to get genuinely curious about her as a person, and started to ask her questions.
Fast forward two hours later, and her friends had left her with me. I had explained to her in depth why I was the way I was, and the agreement I had made with myself. In turn, she told me lots about herself. I respected and appreciated many parts of her, and actually forgot that she was an”HB9.”
Out of nowhere...”Chris, you have no idea how horny you are making me, I want to go home with you.”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I thought?
I did NOTHING!
I had nothing to prove, therefore I did nothing, and guess what, she found that sexy, honest, strong, deep, and safe. She felt safe with me.
That night I was brought home by the most attractive women I had ever spoken to up to that point in my life. We had sex...the first time in about 2 years.
To this day, that is the most valuable experience I have ever had. Without that, I do not know where I would be now, or what I would be doing.
It kick-started a journey of questioning what women really find attractive in a man.
I stayed on the path of letting it all go, and staying in a “given up” state. What this did for me was allow me to never even feel the need to try and get a woman or convince her to like me. I was who I was, I felt how I felt, and I expressed it internally, without care.
I started as INCREDIBLY verbally direct which I then began to refine the more women I experienced and questioned on why they were with me. I began to smooth out the edges so to speak.
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The effortlessness of seduction was very annoying at the beginning. I thought “you mean to tell me I was lied to for my entire life by society on what I must do to get girls?” I presumed I needed to impress her, be her knight in shining armor, have the coolest clothes, the best lines and routines, the most money, the best job, and so on and so forth.
I was moving through life like a scruff, with no money, no job, and yet I was taking very beautiful women off socially handsome and high value men...effortlessly.
It seemed the internal freedom I granted myself was intoxicating. Women wanted to be around it in any way they could. It’s like they could smell it. I was being checked out constantly - I’m talking getting seriously eye-fucked by girls holding hands with their boyfriends.
It was intense, crazy, slightly confusing, but INCREDIBLY liberating. That was the internal situation which was going on. In terms of practicality, I had to begin to show up and take action in my life. I started to do it, quite easily actually. When I let it all go, and felt like I really had nothing to prove, I began to throw myself into situations everywhere without caution.
I stopped trying to impress people.
I stopped trying to be cool.
I stopped trying to be friendly if I didn’t feel the need to.
I stopped trying to say the perfect thing.
I promised myself I would never again break who I am, just to please someone else.
I dedicated myself to me...which in turn, meant I could later share myself with the world and really give, because I wanted to, not because I felt if I did it I would gain something in return. I didn’t need anything.
Speaking to beautiful women… Why the hell not?
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This, in essence, is how I began to be with many women every week. Practically, of course, I had to go and approach lots. This allowed me to refine everything which was incredibly uncalibrated.
Take what you will with my above experience, and come to your own conclusions of how it might relate to your current situation, internally. It is the most important aspect of being truly successful with women on a consistent basis.
You MUST be showing up!
You MUST be speaking to, interacting with, and questioning women on how you make them feel.
You MUST learn from your mistakes.
And you MUST leave your ego at the door!
You deserve everything I do, and I deserve everything you do. Know this!
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Talk Like Casanova - A Conversation Guide For The Modern Seducer As I sit here, perched on my stool in this little Spanish cafe, somewhere in the Canary Islands, I am unintentionally overhearing the generic conversational structure being clumsily spat out by a man clearly attempting to woo his date. Her body language is slumped and bored, struggling to hold the look of interest upon her disgruntled face. In the pick-up community, the area of conversation is delved into with great detail. Eager guys spend hours, days, and months of their lives learning every scripted routine, story, and impressive joke out there, in order to always have something to say when interacting with a woman. This enthusiasm is leveraged by man’s biggest fear... Running out of things to say (I can hear your butthole clench at the very thought). First of all, we must point out the fact that this desire to never run out of verbal ‘material’ stems from society’s imprints on our culture. We are pepped up, coffee guzzling, energy drink injecting, status updating, instagramming monsters. Silence is seen as awkward, and would be better filled with a tweet of your cat eating its own poop.
Quantity over quality! Let’s apply that to conversation... People would much prefer to blurt out a constant slip n’ slide of nonsense, rather than truly listen or connect on an emotional basis. This is all comes down to fear, which I will discuss shortly. In my opinion, there are 2 different types of conversation; Social & Seductive. Let’s break them
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down.
Social Conversation This is the style of interacting you engage in on a daily basis as you go about your chores. It is superficial in its essence, lacking any honesty or emotional expression. Most of us have many different social ‘personas’ which we fall into, depending on who we are interacting with. Let us say you are walking down the street on your lunch break and you bump into an old friend you have not seen in a while. In most cases there is a reason you have not seen them. Quite frankly, you aren’t very fond of them and did not feel the need to stay in contact.
Bob:
Hey, haven’t seen you in ages, how are you?
You:
(Big smile) I’m good how are you? (Your cat just died, you’re devastated)
Bob:
Yeah I’m great too. (Just got fired) Are you still living in bla bla street?
You:
Yes, still there. Where are you working these days?
Bob:
Oh the same place. It’s not too bad
You:
Awesome. Listen I have to run, but it was great seeing you, we must go for a drink soon (that will never ever happen).
Bob:
Yeah definitely, just drop me a text (no fucking way) See ya.
You:
Bye (all smiles , whilst muttering “fucking prick” under your breath)
So... What the fuck was that? Was that you? HELL NO!
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Social conversation is what people do to avoid being human. It is the biggest and most idiotic secret we all walk around with for most of our lives. We all know we are human, and have emotions and insecurities, and bad days, but for some reason we all pretend to be perfect, ‘fine,’ ‘good,’ and ‘awesome,’ even when we are not. This is the root of the majority of social conversation. It is done to simply get by, to make others comfortable, not ruffle anyone’s feathers, and a desperate attempt to be liked and tolerated by every different human being you meet... Yes, the sheep/tribe mentality. Thou shalt not be shunned! Unfortunately, this way of communicating has been instilled in us from a very early age as we watch our parents speaking to the lady at the checkout like they are the best of friends, only to walk out of the shop muttering “She’s an awful cunt, isn’t she?” We use rapid talk and fill every silence in order to escape someone pointing a spotlight on us, and possibly seeing our insecurities. Silence is where the cracks begin to show. That’s right, the reason you are learning all those routines, jokes, stories, games, and being the center of attention, desperate to be the coolest, is because you are hiding. This used to be me, down to the last detail. I call it hiding out loud, and it is so internally painful, stressful, and tiring! It is also incredibly detrimental to seducing a woman. You are continuously getting in your own way. The quietest person in the room is in most cases the strongest. Nothing to prove, nothing to lose. Content in simply being. The social conversational, approval needing clown-way of interacting has been dragged directly into man’s mission of charm, and is the primary focus in dating advice. It is commonplace to see an array of videos all over YouTube advertising things such as “How to avoid awkward silences” or “5 tips to never be stuck for words again.”
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We are being taught that quantity with sprinkles of quality is better than refined quality. In seductive terms we can define it as this:
Quantity:
Factual/Intellectual stimulation
Quality:
Emotional/ Mood stimulation
When you are seducing a woman, it is all about quality!
Seductive Conversation This is the polar opposite to social. Although it is not even discussed in most pick-up material. You do not need 100 stories. You do not need games or routines. You do not have to be funny. If women wanted to fuck clowns, we would all be graduated from clown college. The difference between the ‘fast-talking social man’, and the devastatingly effortless ‘ladies man,’ is the social guy speaks at women whereas the ladies man speaks with women. I want you to think about that. Really hard, right now. What’s the difference? The social conversationalist shoots an array of verbal factual bullets which is a desperate attempt to be impressive and stay afloat. Hoping that his prey drowns first and gives him the gratification of entrance to her vagina. This will massage his delicate ego. This is not sexy. The seductive conversationalist, when speaking with a woman, knows that she is the only human being that exists. He does not know her, what she likes, or how she wants to be seduced, so...he questions her, pays attention to the ebb and flow of emotion. He literally feels her. After all, it would be pretty ignorant of him not to. You don’t need a manual, it’s right in front of you,
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living and breathing. Open your eyes, ears and heart! Become aware Men, in general, speak way too much. They use too many words, and they use them quickly! They also ask factually specific questions, as you would hear in an interview, such as “what do you do” followed by “how long have you done it for,” followed by “That’s so cool. So, where do you go to university”... And the cycle continues. As a successful ladies man (after all the blood sweat and tears of game), I choose when I speak, what I say, and how I say it, very carefully. I am naturally very introverted and laid back, so given the choice between talking or listening, I choose listening. It is also highly effective whilst seducing, and allows you to turn her on and escalate with your eyes, vibe, and touch. I only speak if I have somewhere to take it. If she answers me with something I am unimpressed with, I simply stay silent, and low-n-behold, she starts to speak more. The woman is always the one speaking more and investing more. Obviously, you cannot sit there and say nothing all night. So when I do speak, I choose to ask very open-ended/ambiguous questions, or loose statements. An example of this would be, instead of: What do you do? = What’s your story? (this can open her up to absolutely anything) If you ask a specific question, 9 times out of 10 you will get a one-worded fact-based answer.
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Rather than having any structure or questions prepared, I allow the woman to be the manual on how to seduce her. They are all inherently greatly different in their particular needs and wants, depending on the mood, and time of their life they currently reside in. You should be endlessly curious about women in general. So with this in mind, finding out who they really are will be a very enjoyable process. Stop asking her what she does. Find out why she does what she does. You see? Emotional stimulation and connection are not intellectually based. Here is an example of a seductive conversation:
You:
Excuse me, I wanted to come and meet you
Her:
Oh, ok, Hi!
You:
(extends hand) I’m Chris
Her:
Laura
You:
So what are you doing today?
Her:
I’m just on my break from work so I am off to get some food
You:
Doing what?
Her:
Huh?
You:
Your job...doing what?
Her:
Oh right, I’m a designer for photo shoots
You:
(silence, holding eye contact, no response)
Her:
(speaks to break the tension) I am dressing 3 models today, who are all crazy, it’s tough work
You:
Shit, you must cope with stress well.
Her:
No I don’t, I get crazy so easily
You:
Do you like getting crazy?
Her:
Depends on the circumstances haha but not with stress
You:
So what circumstances...do you like to get crazy?
Her:
hmmmm, maybe at a party or when I go dancing. Something like that
You:
You know what you gotta do then...you must become a dancer...or...a dj
Her:
hahahaha that would be awesome
You:
Tell me something about you...
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The above is a very plainly laid out example. In a real life interaction, and from my experience of using heavy sexual intent, silence, eye contact and voice tone, she would be speaking more and more given every opportunity, veering into different topics emotionally. Unfortunately I am not good at trying to think like a woman, but I am sure you can see the difference of how I go about interacting. I, in every case, look for the emotional side to every decision she makes. I bring it to the surface so she feels it and shares it with me, which is a huge investment on her part. My questioning makes her have to check in with herself and think before she speaks. I am questioning her as a person, as an individual, and like every one of us, she wants to be understood, heard, and appreciated. The seductive ladies man is like a conversational sniper, with a double barrel of understanding underneath his belt. Waiting for the right shot, and applying it with a refined accuracy. All he needs is one shot! The social conversationalist trying to pick up women, is the blindfolded coke-head holding two semi automatic machine guns, trying to hit everything he can at the same time. Choose one!
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Fix These Mistakes To Secure A Solid Second Date Dates can be a tricky deal for many men. Most will take the expected route of dinner and drinks, and/or a movie. First of all, ask yourself why are you going out with this woman? What are your intentions? What is your role? What do you want? The biggest mistake you can make is meeting a woman without any direction in where you would like to possibly take it. Do you just want to get to know more about her? Then talk, be curious, connect. Take on that behaviour. Do you want to have some jungle sex with this girl? If so...you must escalate the vibe, whilst also sharing your touch with her, and your sexual desire. Be very clear on what you expect from yourself before you talk to and meet a woman. The two biggest reasons she will not call you back for a second meeting comes down to two things: confusion and boredom. DO NOT BRING YOUR DATE TO THE MOVIE THEATRE!! I want you to read back over that 1235000 times. You are not 12. It is lazy, fearful, and uninspiring. She can watch a movie on her own. She does not need you sitting beside her to make that happen. It is an emotional vacuum. Avoid at all costs! You must structure your date around your intentions. If you would simply like to get to know her with no current desire to be sexually intimate, then maybe schedule a day time date where you guys go for a walk, exploring somewhere different. A music venue, coffee date (boring), doing something
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active such as water sports, rock climbing, something outdoors. The list is endless. The most important thing is to do something fun and avoid normal and boring at all costs. Night time dates are much more advised if you would like to push the interaction sexually. Always be prepared and take the lead. Know where you are taking her, and move location after each drink. Personally, I go for a first drink in an outside location. It’s less pressure on her, and it is chilled with lots of people watching around. I live in Spain currently, so the weather makes this easy. After this, I go for comfortable lounge bars with couches, and dimmed, warm lighting. This is where I will begin to really escalate. Again, know your intentions, and know your role. Regardless of the date type, you must connect with her, getting her to invest. The more she opens up to you, the more she will want you to validate her, i.e. going for a second date. Also, be sure to share about yourself. This is a huge reason as to why girls don’t call guys back. She sits there, as he lists off all his cool talents and accomplishments trying incredibly hard to impress her. Connect with her via you opening up, being honest and vulnerable, NOT doing game. It’s a waste of energy, and basically conveys huge insecurities, not to mention social retardation. So, getting you a second date is almost stupidly simple:
• Be creative and original with your venues/ places/ plans • Know what you want and lead, lead, lead! • Connect with her, and share pieces of yourself
Look, the point is to allow her play within the social context of you. She wants to get a glimpse of the type of man you are… Blow her mind! Once you are not a complete asshole, just a relaxed and authentic guy, she will most likely want to see you again.
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Pursuing is Sexy… Chasing is Not Through history, men have always been seen as the knights in shining armor, going out of their way to court, swoon, woo, charm, and win over the lady of their desires. Many a time, performing over the top displays of affection, such as serenading her outside a bedroom window with a guitar, having heaps of red roses delivered to her work place, or making her a mix tape, until she agrees to accept his offer of a date. This is of course effective in some cases, but for building a bond, strengthening connection, and having an amazing sexual relationship with the feminine, it is just not practical. Get ready... I am about to say something that would get me lynched by every feminist on this planet, but I’m not too bothered, because it is the dirty truth… Women, are like cats! If you have ever played with a cat using a ball of yarn, you will get this dynamic very quickly. If you dangle the string in front of the cat, seemingly JUST out of reach, it will be active, it will chase it, it will have large expressive emotions, and it will stay continuously interested and satisfied. Now, toss the cat the entire ball of yarn...look what happens...it walks away, or falls asleep. This applies to your interactions with women on all levels. WOMEN WANT A MAN THEY HAVE TO CHASE!!!! They do NOT want to be chased! Like anything in life, the end result is always much more rewarding, special, and emotionally worthwhile when you feel as though you have had to put in conscious effort and work to attain it. When something is bestowed upon you with no effort needed, the value is diminished. As a man,
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understanding this core dynamic will help you in giving a woman what she truly desires. Do NOT confuse this message with manipulation or playing games. This way of interacting with her should be coming from a place of love and adoration for women everywhere. You understand her enough to give her what she needs from you in order to feel satisfied, sexy, and feminine. “So, what you are telling us is to be assholes, treat women like shit, and never compliment them?” NO! This has nothing to do with treating a woman like shit, or feeling better or above her. It’s coming from sexual intelligence, and enhancing your male polarization. Let’s look at how this applies to being an authentic, honest, direct, and sexually unapologetic man.
Compliments The direct school of thought, which is basically just a technique like indirect, is all about verbalizing your attraction for her, in many cases in a balls out and over the top way in order to look ‘boss-like’ and super ‘alpha’. Sure, you feel great at first, but as you continue, you realize very quickly it becomes a numbers game. I recommend for anyone starting out for the first few weeks, to go out, approach women and be verbally direct, letting the woman know specifically what he finds attractive and sexy about her. This is a great exercise as it re-connects you to your desire and reminds you of the fact you have a penis, and that you find the opposite sex attractive. This is in NO way a seductive tool I recommend necessarily for the long haul. It’s very unintelligent, and releases a lot of tension from an interaction. Complimenting a woman in most cases feels amazing, it’s impressive, displays confidence, lets the woman know what you want, BUT, especially if she is attractive and has heard it thousands of times before, you’re pretty much handing her your balls on a plate. In her mind: “Wow, that’s so nice and brave of him, but meh, I already have him now.” You have handed the cat the ball of yarn...No chasing is needed on her part...so she leaves, and maybe takes a nap.
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True Seduction Seduction happens through tension and uncertainty, pressure and releasing. This is the string. Rather than going in all guns blazing with precise compliments on everything that you desire about her, it is much more effective to hold it back, and wait for the right time within the dynamic to verbally express your desire. Having her in a state of confusion thinking “does he, doesn’t he?” is what the string represents. You give her a little bit of yes, and a little bit of no. Never all, and never nothing. In NO way am I saying be indirect, EVER. The fact you want nothing more than to devour her with your sexual intimacy should be stated from the very second you lay your eyes on her via your presence and vibe. The words are irrelevant. Verbal confirmation is basically like signing a contract. It’s definite, it’s clear, with no room to manoeuvre her emotions. I am madly in love with women. I am so incredibly passionate about every morsel of feminine energy in my life, that learning to hold back verbally was one of, and still is, one of the most difficult things I have to do. Only two nights ago, after having amazing sex with a girl, I was in the kitchen getting water, when she emerged in her lacy black and red underwear, long thick blonde wavy hair draping down her back, moving from her hips, coming towards me in a relaxed post-orgasmic haze, and she was in that moment the most fucking INCREDIBLE woman I have ever seen, I literally felt emotional looking at her. Overwhelmed by her feminine...in that moment all I wanted to do was to gush and tell her how amazingly mind-blowingly beautiful, gorgeous, vibrant she was… but, it was in no way needed, or beneficial to her state. She desired the present, silent, strong, sexually animalistic man in front of her. She then wrapped herself around me to affectionately cuddle and take on her feminine essence. Me speaking would not have granted her that. I am not selfish, and neither are you. Instead I chose to simply make the low muttered noise, “Ughhhh my God.” I have experienced losing amazing girls because I readily handed her my balls and penis on a plate very early on. This is not from love, but from an impatient neediness. “A gentleman is merely a patient wolf”
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To be a magnificent seducer, you MUST have patience. Remember that all women are different and desire different aspects and qualities of you. With some girls, you will need to verbalize your desire much earlier, while with others, it may never even be necessary as it will kill it, and what you can offer her. When you give it all to her...there is nothing left...so she will look elsewhere to play. It is a harsh natural reality of the dance. She does not want every last piece of you, keep some for yourself, you deserve it! When guys ask me if there is any time where it is really important to definitely verbalize how beautiful she is, your raw desire and how she affects you...I always answer with “during sex,” especially the first time. Most women, regardless of how beautiful they are, once the clothes come off, they are truly vulnerable and open for you. At that moment, they want your reassurance, they want your unwavering desire so they can feel confident and safe enough to unleash. Remember, you can project your raw desire in every other way as much as you like, but hold back on pointless and wasteful compliments and expressing devotion, because the more it is spoken, the less it’s worth. You withhold out of love. Seduction is a dance. It is the ebb and flow. Just like dancing, you cannot learn to seduce by reading all the information and steps, you must actually dance the dance. Feel it. Surrender to it.
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How To Not Lose The Spark This is the part that gets tricky for most. I mean, so far, you’ve handled your inner demons, you’ve learned the keys to motivation and have been pushing yourself hard. You know how to open correctly, how to speak to beautiful women, and how to connect with them. Great work on your progress so far. However, throughout my journey, I’ve very rarely seen someone break down what it takes to actually maintain a relationship with a woman in an authentic way. Pick up ends in the bedroom, seduction never truly ends. So the question remains; how do you proceed in a relationship without losing that spark? Allow me to tell you a story; Steve is a cool guy. He works out regularly - because he thinks women are attracted to his muscles. He goes out every weekend because he likes to get drunk and do crazy stuff and sleep with girls. He has a tight circle of guy friends that he spends time with regularly. Steve is out at a bar. He bumps into Jessica, who is quite beautiful. He initiates a conversation with her and the two quickly hit it off. She laughs at his ridiculous stories - even the ones that aren’t that funny. She touches his bicep every so often - good thing he’s been working out. She actually genuinely enjoys being around Steve because he seems to be a well rounded guy. He asks her for her number and she figures why not? Steve and Jessica start dating. Jessica still goes out with her girls, and still gets hit on regularly. She could be wearing a “fuckoff” sign on her forehead and she will still get hit on. Steve, however, changes dramatically. He rarely spends any time with his friends anymore, and when he does, he acts different and doesn’t express himself openly like he used to. He doesn’t go to the gym anymore - what’s the point? He has a girlfriend.
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He doesn’t go out on adventures anymore - what’s the point? He has a girlfriend. He just spends his weeks working and his weekends at Jessica’s. Sooner or later they start to fight. He doesn’t trust Jessica to have a night out with her friends. Jessica is growing restless and resentful. She fell in love with a man who took care of himself, had a life outside of her, had passions and dreams. Steve was living a lie - he sold her on a product he never had. Everything he did was to garner attention from women, so when he had it, he quickly became complacent. Does any of this sound familiar? We can talk for hours about how to remain attractive and keep the spark going, but the single greatest, bar none, most important element is this: Never sway from your path and purpose. That could mean many different things to many people. If you know what your purpose is do not let your romantic relationships sway you from it. If you do not know what your purpose is, then your priority is to find it. Understand, women are infinitely and passionately attracted to the dreamers, the warriors, the conquerors and the seekers. Why? Because that unshakable commitment to something greater than yourself is what will allow you to create a better life for your children one day. You must take care never to lose that spark within yourself, to never grow complacent, and in turn that spark in your relationship will never die out. Practically speaking? Have a life! Celebrate and honour your male friends. Go on adventures she isn’t a part of. Try new things together. Always strive, improve, grow and create, and then let her become a part of that. She will marvel at how lucky she is to have landed a man of your caliber. Finally, someone she doesn’t have to babysit. Finally someone she doesn’t have to worry about. Finally a man she can trust.
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The Only Way To Connect With Her For Life Isn’t love such a fascinating topic? Love is our natural state, yet we often find ourselves pulling away from it. Everyone wants love, and many crave the idea of feeling loved, and loving in return. Many however, tend to run the opposite way when love comes in their direction. Has this been you in the past? What is it that drives us away from the ones we care about? I have heard that love is hard to find, hard to enjoy, and hard to keep. Why is this so true if love is a natural state and potential relationships of all kinds are given in abundance everywhere we look? Please understand that there is a difference between counterfeit love and the real thing. Most people fall under the mirage of counterfeit love, confusing it with feelings such as possessiveness, attachment, and dependency. Nothing can be further from the truth. True love is not something you can run away from due to its natural purity and rarity. I know that true love sounds like a myth, and don’t confuse true love with love at first sight. Love at first sight is nothing more than infatuation. True love on the other hand, is something that is shaped and cured with time. Let’s look at pouring a concrete slab for example; the longer the mix sits and cures, the easier it is for the slab to hold its shape. In addition to this, the longer it cures the stronger the bond becomes, making it harder for the concrete to bust apart. Once a couple has completely molded into one unit, they are unbreakable. Does this sound like something you have been seeking? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is easier said than done. Sure, different media outlets will propagate information on love portraying it to be so natural and easy, requiring zero effort. You will also find, of course, the “Magic Potion Number 9” companies trying to sell you their 3 step program to getting the wife you deserve. Let’s be honest - we both know you are way too intelligent to believe this. Sometimes we come from a place of desperation where we desire something so much that we put aside our rational mind, for just one minute, and buy into programs with the pure hope in our hearts that maybe… just maybe, this might finally work. Unfortunately, if you are anything like I was, these decisions you made only continued to lead you further down a path of solitude and depression.
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According to Reuters, a study conducted by Siemens determined that “79% of people polled stated that they ‘settled’ for someone who wasn’t their true love when they married.” More shockingly 17% of the 2000 polled said they have met their true love after marriage, while 46% of those polled stated that they would leave their marriage if they did find their true love. To be honest, I am not that surprised. Let’s examine these facts a little deeper: Essentially 79% of people are stating they have already found true love but did not marry that person, or found true love after marrying their spouse. This means only 21 percent of adults polled actually believe they are in love with the person they are with. So what is the only way to connect with your future wife, for life? How do you not fall into the 79% statistic? How do you achieve these results when nothing else seems to be working? Where do you start, what do you have to do? All of these questions I am sure are flooding your brain, as they have flooded mine before. Before I tell you the answers to all of your questions, I first want to congratulate you. I want to applaud you for even asking these questions. It takes a man of courage and wisdom to first see that something isn’t working, and secondly to have the courage to make the decision to fix whatever becomes revealed as broken. So what is broken? What is the first step? What are the answers to all of these never-ending questions? Before I can give you the answers I must first explain this: You can never expect someone else to complete a part of yourself that is lacking. That great divide within your soul must be fulfilled by yourself, and yourself alone. How do you know what a physically, mentally, & emotionally healthy woman looks like if you aren’t even healthy yourself? Always remember that we create our own environment. This begins with throwing away everything that is broken in our lives.
Discovering Your Definition of Love It would be completely presumptuous of me to sit here and tell you what true love is. I mean, honestly, how would that make me any different than the magazines I was ranting about earlier? Instead I want to first share with you my view on true love, then I am going to ask you to expand your horizons and challenge your own views on true love. I am going to share something with you now that I have never told a soul, ever. To be honest, I can’t even believe I am sharing this with you. I can only sum up making this decision based on my pure desire to help you the best I can. I will change some names and leave out any details that might be too revealing to those who know me in real life. Ever since I was young, I was absolutely head over heels about one lady.
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Although we were childhood best friends it didn’t take long until we grew apart. Honestly, it was my fault. My rough upbringing in my household drove me to go through childhood phases that she couldn’t understand or relate to. She was perfect in every way, and I became nothing short of a fuck up. Up until a few years ago I would think of her often, living in such regret realizing that I could never be with my true love. I, for a while, feared I would end up part of the 79%. A few years ago however, I realized that it wasn’t actually love for her that drove me. It was infatuation. I also do not mean a sexual arousal by her sheer beauty, but I was infatuated with the idea of her. Over the years I have built up something so pristine in my mind, an idea that no real woman could ever live up to. In all reality – I was only cheating myself. The cold hard truth my brain chose to ignore was that she was flawed just like everyone else. Our time growing apart led us into different hobbies and beliefs. In short – we weren’t compatible at all. That’s when it hit me. I already had true love right in front of me with my current fiancé (girlfriend at that time). First I asked myself – why haven’t we failed yet? Most relationships fail because of 5 major reasons. Let’s take a look at what they are:
Top 5 Reasons Relationships Fail 1. Telling White Lies & Half Truths – Unfortunately, it is extremely common for adults in relationships to tell little “white lies” to their partners. With that said – it is generally done with the right intentions. Caring enough for someone to spare their feelings, or trying to withhold information in hopes of sparing an otherwise delightful evening with an argument might sound like a great idea at the time. The truth; however, always shines through. After the dust settles, all that is understood is that you did not have enough respect for your partner to honour them with the truth when it mattered. 2. Power Imbalance – The second most common reason why people fail is because both parties are not developed enough to equally contribute their roles within the relationship. You often see this portrayed in movies or TV shows. Look at Everybody Loves Raymond, a TV show where a man was portrayed as a grown-up child in his marriage leaving the wife to assume the role of both adults. Having your wife play wife and mother is nothing short of a disaster in the making. 3. Suffocation – No I am not talking about actually murdering your partner, but smothering them in such a way that they feel as if they “cannot breathe.” Many relationships nowadays are filled with partners who are so insecure they restrict you from having any outside contact whatsoever.
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4. Jealousy – Feeling a need to compete or separate. When you feel so much less significant than your partner and constantly push your partner to prove themselves within your relationship. 5. Selfishness – Only having concern for oneself without thought or consideration of your partner can cause serious detrimental effects on your relationship. Thinking over these five categories, I realize that they are lacking in my current relationship. It seems, as if naturally we were a lot stronger than I thought… Something outside of the fairy tales told to me my whole life. So now that I realized we weren’t making the most common errors within our relationship, I was curious as to what we were doing well. This was such a challenge for me, and I realized it’s because I never truly knew what I valued in a relationship. I took some time to determine what a loving relationship looks like, and then compared that list to my current relationship. Here is my list: 1. Removal Of Ego – I decided that in a relationship I want to be able to have my partner and I give and express to each other acts of love without desire of reciprocation or validation from the other. 2. Unable To Hurt Each Other – I also realized that it would be important to me in a relationship to have someone that I cared about so deeply, that I could never do something out of spite or anger that would hurt them emotionally and/or physically to bring me a feeling of satisfaction. I, of course, would want mutual respect from my partner. 3. Unity – Using the term, “we” is a great representation of this unity, but sometimes I feel that people misinterpret the bigger picture. It is always important that with your daily thoughts, actions and words, respect of your partner is always prioritized. With that said, I decided I never wanted a partner that would demand I waited for her approval to make any decision. Real strength in unity allows for independence. Having a spouse who I truly get, love, and appreciate for her personality, desires, and ambitions at her core allows me the strength to understand her. When I understand her, I don’t have to question why she behaves certain ways, why she makes certain decisions, why she chooses to see a movie with a particular friend. Instead, I am left in a place where each action she takes on each day is merely yet another reflection of the woman I am so incredibly in love with. 4. Share The Load – I do very strongly believe that all men were designed to carry distinct roles within a relationship, as women were as well. With that said – I also believe that it is vital to share
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the load at times. You will hear people say, “You are the man, suck it up.” I know, for myself, that I am not completely capable of being secure 100% of the time. I am, after all, human. There will be times when I need my wife to step up and take some of the load off of my shoulders. There will be a time when I am so mentally distraught that I will need her to deal with social situations, just so my mind can find peace for a short period of time. I decided I never wanted a relationship where I had to carry the weight of both our loads on our shoulders 100% of the time. This is often seen in cases where men get into relationships with women suffering from a diva or princess mentality. How many times have you heard a woman say, “I am pretty, I am used to getting what I want.” Although that statement may be true, and must make her life a lot easier on the surface, she is only cheating herself and her future husband by expecting everything to be done and catered to her. 5. Pride & Suffering – Having a woman that when I speak about so pridefully it brings a smile to my face is a wonderful thought. This may sound a little cliché but having someone that I would be willing to suffer for if I saw it would bring them happiness is also another important sign to me. When you become a father, and a husband, a lot of your life will consist of pride and suffering. You will be so proud of your children’s accomplishments, and they will accomplish certain things because you suffered by giving up a fishing trip so you could afford them another year of music lessons, for example. It may sound horrible, but at its core it comes from a place of pure and everlasting love. When you know this type of love to be true in your heart, there is no personal remorse for your suffering but a condition you gladly give to see the joy in the eyes of the ones you care deepest about. These are five examples I determined were extremely important to me. Once I realized what was important to me, I looked at my relationship and realized I was lucky. The woman I was with is the one I truly loved all along, not the one I was infatuated with because she matched everything the movies said I should go after. I challenge you to determine what it is that YOU want to go after. What is it that YOU define as love, what is important, what have you learned from your past relationships that you want to bring forward into a new and healthier one? Continuing Success Within Your Relationship For Life It should be no surprise to you that every relationship is going to have its ups and downs. It is love, strengthened by being with the right person, of the right qualities you pre-determined that sees you through it together as a couple. I often talk about the use of mirroring when first building comfort with someone. The example I use is how an elderly couple will look very similar. The reason for this, in short, is because over the years they develop similar laugh lines. Over the years
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they learn to have a similar sense of humor, have a similar laugh, use certain phrases or words, and have communication without ever speaking a word. A unity was built through shared intimacy and identity. Although this unity is important, understand that there are certain psychological tasks in order to ensure a great relationship/marriage. One of these tasks is to still allow for autonomy. You should always have enough going on within your own life to where you are never fully dependent upon your partner to bring you happiness. Being in a relationship should bring part of the joy to your life, without being solely responsible for all of it. Another important characteristic to maintain a healthy and successful relationship is sex. It is easy to get side tracked with work, and the normal day to day stressors of life. We all know that one of the most common symptoms of depression is fatigue. Normal work week stress can cause you to be too tired to allow for intimacy with your partner. Don’t put off intimacy for that special date planned next week. Share your fantasies with your partner, and be open to hers. You set time aside to brush your teeth for your own dental health, set aside time to allow for intimacy with your partner for your relationship’s health. Another key factor to a successful relationship is to separate yourself from your childhood family. We should always love and appreciate where we come from, but understand that you need to make two houses into one home. This means you need to shed the outside influences of your past and as a couple, build your own family, and your own home. After time has gone by, and you have heard each other’s stories a million times it may be difficult to avoid boredom. It will be inevitable at times, but that does not mean your relationship is failing. If you would like to try and avoid this, focus on trying to rekindle that youthful romance you once had together. Surprise her with a new adventure, and make a new memory together that you can both tell a million times to your children. Take on new hobbies together, find the positives in life, and use laughter and joy to curtail the negativity that enters your lives. Lastly, don’t wait for your partner to fix the relationship. If you feel tension in the relationship address it. Letting issues ferment will only bring upon more bacteria and disease. Communication is key and sometimes it takes one person to get that communication started. Have enough love and respect for your relationship to bring up the hard topics, even if you know it may bring upon a negative result. In closing, remember it is always important to be selfish at first, then selfless second. Be selfish when you are creating your list, make sure that the woman you meet matches your qualifications
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and you are matching yourself with a woman of quality and deserving of the positive wealth of love you have to offer. Once you find this person, become selfless. Don’t let your past aggressions and failures prevent you from offering your new healthy relationship everything you are capable of. She is deserving of the best you, and if you chose the right lady, she will offer the best her in return.
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Steps To A Solid Phone Number So you met a girl, and you want to make sure that the number you are getting is solid. Just recently I witnessed an act that is performed often by women around the world. What I witnessed was a woman give out her best friend’s phone number, instead of her own. Typically the way this system works is she just gets to troll her friend, and when her friend gets a call from this unknown number she can easily recognize it’s a number that her friend isn’t interested in, deletes it, and moves on with her life. Meanwhile the man is sitting at home, still waiting for a text back. Obviously the most important suggestion I can give you is to make sure you are able to connect with her on a deep level during the interaction. There are a few tricks and tips you can do though that can help you when you are meeting a woman and trying to get a number within a limited amount of time. Let’s look at two possible scenarios: Scenario One: You meet a girl, the conversation goes nicely. The conversation starts to die out, or one of you has to leave. You quickly reach for your phone and say, “Hey real quick, let me get your number. We should keep in touch…” Scenario Two: Recently I was walking down the beach and saw a gorgeous woman I just couldn’t take my eyes off of. She was laying down on a towel sun bathing, I walked up and sat down next to her. After talking for a few moments I learned that she just arrived in town that day, for vacation. She knew nothing about the area. Throughout our interaction she had mentioned that she was really excited to find a local restaurant with fresh seafood since she was now so close to the coast. I told her about my personal favorite local oyster shack. I then told her that we should meet back up that evening for dinner there, and afterwards I’d take her on an adventure. She agreed. At that point, I handed her my phone and said “Put your number in, I’ll text you the name of the restaurant so you can Google it
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for directions.” In the second scenario, I created a purpose for the number. Her giving me her number in that moment was rational, logical, and expected. You don’t always have to worry about setting up a first date before handing her your phone. In fact, most of the time when I get a woman’s number it’s way before I even excuse myself from the interaction. Still – I always provide a reason for the exchange, as opposed to awkwardly asking for it randomly. Something as simple as making plans to “go on an adventure together” even though there is no specific date, time, or location I will still provide a reason. Once she’s putting her number in your phone, make it fun. Tell her to save herself as whatever nickname you gave her, and watch her save it as something better. This allows you to remain playful and light. Remember; exchanging numbers, talking to women and dating is normal. It’s something well adjusted people do. Why make it into such a big deal in the first place? Keep it light!
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As you can see, this contact was named, “Anna The Cooler One.” As she was putting her number in my phone, she realized there were other Annas as contacts. I told her she has some competition and should just save herself as “Anna Needs To Try Harder,” instead – she saved herself as “The Cooler One.” Another great way to easily obtain a phone number is to take a picture together. Regardless of who takes it, either offer to text it to her, or have her text it to you.
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This screen shot is of a street promoter I met on the street while she was working (yes, I am sitting on her lap in that picture). In this scenario, how many men do you think try to pick her up and ask her for her phone number? A lot, that’s how many. So instead of directly asking for it, I had her take a selfie of us. Again, it was only common sense that she should text it to me. The result? I was able to obtain her number, and took a picture of us together…without coming off as every other creeper on the street looking for her number. If you are in a situation where you will both be in the same venue for a period of time, text her immediately after getting her phone number. One of my favorite things to do is to text…
“Psssst” The concept is to create your own private conversation while in a public place. Imagine while she is having fun with her friends, and entertaining men who are buying her free drinks…she’s also on the phone…with you. At a certain point in time, you walk over to her while she is surrounded by these men, say to her, “Are you ready?” with your arm out, and escort her away. Everyone is confused how it happened, and most of the time they assume you two were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Truth is, you just met her, but had enough time to establish a fun and deep connection with her via text. Perhaps you were making fun of the douches hitting on her, or the drunk hot mess express dancing on the bar. Eventually you set the understanding that you will be over to save her in a few minutes and take her to best place on the strip you know for late night cocktails (or whatever). When it comes to a solid phone number, it isn’t always about making sure it is the correct phone number. Making sure she doesn’t flake the next day, even when it’s the right phone number, is crucial. Having these immediate text conversations afterwards helps prevent flakes for a few reasons. The first reason is if she was blackout drunk by the end of the night, the next day she will be able to see your interaction and see that she was very interested in you, and that you were a funny/cool guy. That’s much more powerful than her wondering who this random guy texting her is, and doesn’t want to respond because, “God knows what kind of creeper I gave my number out to last night.” I always prefer to have the girl put her number into my phone, but if you are really worried that she might give you a wrong phone number, try this. Take her phone, program your number in, and call your phone. Most of the time, just saying, “I’ll text you my name” as soon as she’s typing in her number, it will deter any thoughts she may be having of giving you a fake phone number. How embarrassing would it be when you text or call her on the spot and her phone isn’t lighting up. She doesn’t want that embarrassment, so make sure you clearly state your intentions to call her or text
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her immediately so she has it. More importantly, once you are sending this initial text…you have already started your new private discussion that no one else in the club knows about.
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The Gentlemen’s Way to Landing a First Date So you got her number, now it’s time to plan a date. Please remember that this is exactly the mission, setting up the date. The goal was never the phone number. Without a date, a number is just that… a bunch of numbers saved into your phone. Whenever you text a woman, you need to remember what your goal is and pursue that goal always. Just texting her every day to fulfill a social void in your life doesn’t lead to a first date, instead it only labels you as a “texting buddy.” It should also be stated that immediately pushing for a date isn’t a great idea either. You have to find the perfect balance between reminding her that you are fun and amazing, while pushing towards your ultimate goal: a first date. I have had discussions with others about how much effort you put into a text prior to the first date. To be honest, it really depends on the situation. I will tell you what I typically prefer to do though, and why. I typically prefer to allow a deeper conversation to take place prior to the meet up. I want to get her becoming sexual with me through texts, before we even get to the first date. The reason why I want to do this, is because after I know we are already comfortable with each other sexually, then the first date is much easier. I don’t have to worry about kissing her, I don’t have to work hard at getting her to have sex with me on the first date. In other words, it’s basically already understood. This allows me to sit back and purely enjoy my first date, without constantly thinking or worrying. Imagine - while on a first date there is no need for small talk, because you already know each other on a deeper level, there is no need for awkward hugs or kisses, because you already know each other’s sexual desires. This, my friend, is the true power of texting. So how does a gentlemen accomplish all of this prior to the first date, without becoming a “text buddy?”
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To be honest, it’s kind of simple. I am going to briefly break down my four stages of messaging.
Stage 1 – Provoke A Response The first stage is done by provoking a response. You don’t want to be like every other guy. You need to send her a message that is going to make her react emotionally. Which emotion? Does not matter. The point is to get her to react. Always remember that the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. As long as you can get her to start investing herself emotionally into your interaction (regardless of the emotion) then you are already succeeding. Here’s a few quick examples of texts you can use, until you invent your own, to help provoke a response out of her… • SUCH a Gangster... • OMG, the craziest thing ever just happened to me! • On a scale of 1 to The Food Network, how great a cook are you? • You weren’t the girl that got sent to the hospital due to the bar fight last night, were you? • I need to tell you something, but it’s kind of embarrassing… • I just saw the creepiest thing on **** Street than anything I have ever seen in my life! Let’s say your initial text was, “Such a gangster...,” it might seem hard to transition into Stage 2 from this. Don’t worry it’s actually quite simple. You simply need to make the transition yourself. Transition Phrases are to be done very abruptly and confidently. They are also broken down into two parts: Tension and Release. Every transition phrase should begin with tension. Lets look at some common tension building lines... • Okay look • Listen • I need to ask you a serious question • I need to tell you something important • I am not sure how to tell you this so I guess I just will… The more tension you create, the better. Typically tension building lines can get lengthy...this is okay because you are increasing the tension and her anticipation. A common way to continue building this tension is to add on additional lines.
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An example of tension line extension would be: “Ok, make or break question that will determine the future of our relationship...” Let’s take a look at a tension building line with an extension… “I need to ask you a serious question, don’t screw this up as the fate of the world depends on your answer...” Now it’s time for the second part of the transition phrase… the release. The release line is going to also be the new topic you are transitioning into. In this case, you are transitioning into Stage 2 (Take Her On A Journey), so your release has to be landing her into this new fantasy world. The release comes from her realizing it isn’t really life or death - instead it’s you being fun and playful again, in which case she will gladly jump on board. Keep in mind, the second you go to talk to her about something “serious” she’s going to think “here we go” and expect you to be some lame dude like everyone else talking about how close you feel to her, or how beautiful she is. She will be relieved when you give your release statement to find out that isn’t the case. Let’s look at an example of a transition phrase, purposed to transition you into stage 2... Me: I need to discuss something very serious with you, and I need your full attention... Her: okay...what is it? Me: I came across a treasure map (don’t ask how) and it seems as if it is buried underneath the White House. The plan is to take it and escape to a remote island but I am going to need some help, you down?
Stage 2 – Take Her On A Journey In Stage 2 you need not only to take her on a journey – but her journey. Discover the power of fantasy where women are concerned – and surprisingly how easily you two can connect. Draw her out of her shell and have her telling you about what she would want you to do to her in HER fantasy. This is the stage where you can be very fun and playful. Talk about robbing a bank together, stealing a spaceship, playing the most epic public prank that’s ever been done, the list goes on and on. The purpose of Stage 2 is to be fun and interesting. Don’t waste your time asking her boring small talk questions. You will learn more about her in a pretend fantasy than
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you will asking her small talk questions that she has autopilot responses too. Once you have set the stage, allow her to contribute. This is where you are going to draw her out of her shell. Women always feel safer and more adventurous when it comes to fantasy. They know it’s not real, and they are taught to go wild with their imagination since they were little girls. They plan on their future weddings, they play princesses with their friends from school, they dream of what their future home will be like one day, etc. Ask her questions as you are planning out your secret plot to take over the world, that will require her to really come out of her comfort zone and be a little more risqué. The easiest way to get a woman to begin to open up is with disqualifiers. For example: Me: “Listen, if we are going to be on stuck on an island with our stash of gold, I need to know you at least own a sexy bathing suit. None of this one-piece bullshit.” Her: (Qualifying Herself To Me) Ha-ha I don’t even own a one piece! My bathing suits are very sexy ; )” *Note...women will never buy a bathing suit they think is unattractive...so her response is extremely predictable - and in our favor.* Me: “You sound pretty confident (I am giving her small value and qualifying her to boost her confidence because my next question is going to require her to be even more confident), what would you say is your best feature?” Her: “hmmmm… My bum haha” So now we are going sexual already...and she thinks it’s even her idea because she’s the one qualifying to you...and telling you how sexy she is (instead of how most men will spend time telling the women how sexy they think she is). Again the most important thing to remember in this stage is we are drawing her out of her shell. We are getting her to open up and tell us things that she hasn’t told anyone else.
Stage 3 – Lock Her In This is where you will learn how to establish deep comfort and rapport with her. Get her to understand that you are more than just an interesting/fun guy… You are someone that deeply
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understands her and relates to her on a level that she has never experienced before. This step can easily be skipped if you were able to turn the conversation sexual in Stage 2. One easy way you can develop a deep level of comfort, very quickly is to ask her to share a secret with you. Tell her it has to be something she’s only shared with her teddy bear or like a childhood best friend. Since she is used to only sharing this information with those who she deeply trusts and feels safe with, psychologically she will put you into that same category.
Stage 4 – Close Her Determine what your goals are with her and achieve them. Is your goal to have a first date? Threesomes? Nude pics? Whatever your goal is, Stage 4 will help you achieve it, and close it out of your “must accomplish” list. The important thing to remember is that you have to do Stage 4. Don’t let the conversation linger on because you are too scared. This will put you into the dreaded texting buddy frame. Too much comfort and rapport with no sexual intent is like taking a bullet train to friend zone station.
Landing the Meet Up If your goal in Stage 4 is to set up a date - then there are a few tips I want to share with you that will help you be more successful. Don’t ask her to meet up with you that same night as your first date - not only do most women have plans and this will make you look like you were rejected when she can’t make it (even if she would like to meet you), but most women won’t go even if they are free anyway. They are trained by women’s magazines not to look too desperate and that they have a busy lifestyle even if they don’t. More importantly - they are told that is a sign of a guy that is only looking for a hookup - and they should be careful of those men. Don’t ask her out for a Friday or a Saturday night unless you know you both regularly attend similar events. Get it in your mind from the beginning that she needs to earn being upgraded from a Wednesday or Thursday night to your Friday or Saturday night. Most women are going to have plans on the weekend, and so should you. Again - if you were to ask her about a Friday and she had plans - you are only going to appear as if you were rejected if she says no. The idea here is to optimize the chances of her saying yes. If possible wait until a Sunday afternoon/early evening to propose a meetup - Statistically speaking, this is the best time to ask. Most women use their Sunday evenings to prepare for the next week.
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They are typically at home relaxing on the couch watching TV, doing laundry, cooking dinner, etc. The point is that this is the most common time for people to be home, without plans, and close to their phones where they can respond. Make it easier for her to say yes - Unless you are a millionaire, chances are she’s going to avoid taking as many risks as possible. Eliminate some of the worries she might have by proposing your first meet up at a public place. Don’t tell her to come park at your building, or that you will come to her house. I understand back in the day men used to go pick up the lady at her home. This was easily done though because they knew each other in person first...they knew of each other’s families and friends. Anyone can be anyone on the internet and women need to be cautious - and so do you.
Getting Nudes If your goal was to get nudes (let’s suppose the woman you meet online is far away and you want to take things fun and sexual) then there’s also a few tricks you need to know here as well. The key ingredient is to remember that you must always maintain a balance between giving her value, and disqualifying her efforts. If you believe a woman for one second when she sends you a picture and says that “It’s not her favorite,” or “She doesn’t like that one,” then you, sir, are crazy. Women will never send a pic they don’t like. So what you need to get from this is that they put effort into sending pics, and you have to constantly balance out a combination of giving her value, and boosting her confidence but also not to the point where you are desperate. This is where disqualification comes into play. It really is a finely tuned art, but you will get it down after time. Disqualify her pictures by saying, “Wow, that one almost turned me on.” Never disqualify her in the picture by saying her boobs looked saggy, or you thought she was skinnier. This is the wrong way to disqualify and will get you shut down immediately. Instead make her more confident about her insecurities. Say something like, “I love the confidence you have when you take your photos, it’s very sexy”. Lastly, pose a challenge. This is probably my favorite thing to do with women. Women love challenges, and they also love knowing that they are sexy enough to arouse a man. By disqualifying her and saying something like, “That photo almost made me hard just now” you are posing a challenge for her to send another one. Remember, the key here is to make her feel beautiful and confident and proud of her body, without coming off as a desperate horny dude.
Watch it in Action To show you a text example, I am going to type out a conversation from the initial text to the first
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date. As you see this text thread you will see I am not as confined to the four stages, although you can see similarities. Once you understand the rules, you can break the rules. I obviously start off by provoking a response. I also go into a version of fantasy, twice. The first time is telling this crazy story about me being a hobo that talks to dolphins. Well the other is when I want to go sexual with her. You will notice that I discovered a reason to bring up her and I having sex, but I did it in a role play manner so it would establish the frame without being awkward and random. Most importantly, you will notice that within about twenty minutes of texting I was able to secure the first date, build my attraction with her, and most importantly establish that we will be having sex on our first date, which (by the way) we did. Me: On a scale from 1 to The Food Network, how good a cook are you? Her: I’m totally a Food Network celebrity…you haven’t seen my cooking show? Her: Haha, why do you ask? Me: It’s been a while since I had a really good home cooked meal Her: Oh really? Me: Yeah…I live in a cardboard box that floats around the intercoastal, not enough room to build a kitchen in there… Her: Wow that sounds terrible yet adventurous at the same time Me: You ever hear of the dog whisperer? I can whisper to dolphins and they push my box to the dock whenever I want to go back ashore and meet beautiful women with a dog on the street * (I met her while she was walking her dog on the street) Her: No way…dolphin whisperer, that’s pretty impressive Me: I’ll introduce you one day. Oddly enough they are both named Frank, I get them confused sometimes because they are also twins. Her: I am laughing too hard to be able to reply. Haha, I love it. Her: Tell me more about the life of the dolphin whispering hobo
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Me: I have a better idea, instead of telling you about my adventures, lets go on a new adventure together. Her: That sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind? And yea mostly I make my own schedule so I have free time whenever I want. Me: Let’s meet tonight. Walk your dog first so that’s out of the way then I will spend the rest of the night sweeping you off your feet and reminding you how fun life can be when you are with a dolphin whispering hobo pirate. Her: I’d love to. However I actually work tonight from 10-4. I have a few side jobs in addition to running my business, and tonight I have to perform at a club in Miami. Her: But how about Sunday Night? Me: How long have you been hooking in Miami? Me: Sunday Works Her: Yeah both, we walk on stilts but we’re not wearing much. However if anyone touches us they get knocked out by a big black dude. Me: Will he be chaperoning our date? Her: Only if you want him to Me: I consider myself to be sexually liberated but having a big black dude watching from the corner might be a little too kinky for my taste haha. Plus every time I’d try to touch you he’d knock me out! We should just not bring him I’m thinking? Her: Alright fine…he might be sad tho so we’re gonna have to bake him cookies to make up for it Me: I mean… I have a camera we can always just let him watch the tape later while he’s eating his cookies Her: lol never, what if he blackmails us! Me: Are you ashamed for the world to know we have the best sex ever? My only concern would be
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that if it got leaked we’d never get paid properly for demonstrating our exclusive techniques. Me: We could name it the hobo and Goliath, you could wear stilts. We literally would make a killing. Her: That’s exactly what I’m saying, if anyone’s going to witness that magic they better pay up first. Me: Be real with me for a second, you’re a spiritual person aren’t you? You have a depth to you that most people wouldn’t pick up on when first meeting you. Her: Yes. And I see the same in you. Her: So what’s the plan for Sunday? Me: Wear something cute and casual. I’ll take care of the rest. Text me your address, I’ll pick you up at 9 pm so you don’t have to walk. Her: Cool! I’ll see you then.
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The Gentlemen’s Way to Setting up a Booty Call As far as I am concerned, there is only one way to truly do this. When you fully establish your frame women have two choices. They can accept and come into your frame, or they cannot accept it. It is literally this simple, gentlemen. Once they accept your frame, you do not have to make excuses. You don’t have to come up with a magic line to set up a booty call. When you have accomplished everything else in this book, you will have established such a relationship to where you shall be able to call your lady and simply say, “I’m horny - come over around 7 and bring dinner (I am also hungry)”. Most men believe a booty call is about establishing your value to her and tricking her into thinking being a random Tuesday night isn’t with mal intentions. The reason why most men think this is because society tells us that random hookups are bad. Here’s the truth - a booty call isn’t about tricks...it’s about trust and comfort. Women are just as horny as men - and I promise you they would much rather have a regular man-piece to satisfy their sexual desires then have to keep sorting through the losers at the bar when they are horny or resort to their dildo. When they know that they are safe with you, and they can trust you, and that what you have is chemistry and a love for each other that won’t spill into both of your daily routines - then you have a gentlemen’s booty call. A seducer loves all of his women and understands they have their own lives to lead. When they come into your home, you enjoy the time you have together and you love them for everything that makes them special to you. You treat them right, you cook them breakfast...you laugh and play jokes as best friends. When it’s time for them to go - you let your infatuation stop there and focus back on your life. As long as your frame is strong enough - you can literally do anything, set any rules, and establish any boundaries. Remember, this is your life she’s coming into. When she chooses to do so, you treat her like she deserves to be treated - but first she has to accept your frame.
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To test this out, I had a friend last year experiment with a few different concepts. The biggest was when he posted a list of house rules in his home by the front door. When he pulled from a bar, a woman had to sign onto this list of rules before she was allowed to take her jacket off. These rules were purely his, and it worked. Rules such as “You must be gone before I wake up,” or “You have to leave an article of clothing here (he had a collection of bras hanging on his wall).” A few years back, I developed my “Shelf System” to experiment with this as well. I took a closet and put six shelves in it, one above the other. I decided I did not want to maintain more than six girlfriends at the same time. Each girl got a shelf...but the higher the shelf, the higher a priority they were to me. If they wanted to keep personal items at my place, they had to leave it on their shelf that’s all the storage room they had. They all had chores, one girl would do my laundry, and one girl would go grocery shopping. Whenever a girl decided to get jealous, or moody, or use another girl’s shampoo for example, her shelf status would get downgraded. It was like how Hugh Hefner has his main girlfriend and the others have their hierarchy. I was posing a challenge, and I created a system that punished poor attitude or behavior. Let me set the record straight… I don’t suggest you adopt what I did, or what my friend did as your personal mission. They were EXTREME circumstances simply to try and see how strong of a frame we could establish. What we got out of these experiments was simple: as long as you establish what it is that you want, hold firm, allow her to come into your reality, and cherish her for it - you can pretty much do anything. Here’s the bottom line - there is no special way to set up a booty call. There is no magic line to tell you. You have to determine what you want out of relationships. Is all you want booty calls? Then ask yourself a few more questions like, how often? Once you establish your expectations, then a woman can choose to follow or not follow. Everything else follows without stress, without lying, and without effort.
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How to be the bad boy she craves Most men have absolutely no clue how to be sexy, and women crave a man who can make them feel sexy. Sure, we know how to be aroused, and we think we know how to show it, because we’ve watched countless hours of porn until we all think we are gods in the sack and yet… most of us fall terribly short. Let’s take a quick second to dispel any myths regarding female sexuality. I would think that it would not be necessary in this day and age. However, I recently read an article published on a very widely-read website expressing the following advice for women: “Ladies, have sex with your boyfriend at least once a week… We know you don’t enjoy sex as much as we do but bla bla bla.” What the actual fuck? Understand this: Women love sex. In fact, they love it much more than we do. Women are able to experience at least 3 different types of orgasms that we know of. How many can men experience? Exactly. Them loving sex is completely natural and fine. If you have a problem with a woman liking sex, then you need to reevaluate just what you’re doing here. Your hypocrisy and double standards are only harming you. She is not your mother - leave the purity myth at the door. Now on to the important stuff... Listen, you do not need to be tall, ripped and look like Ryan Gosling for women to consider you sexy. In fact, there’s very little correlation between your looks and your ability to arouse a woman. Arouse That’s the key word. At the end of the day, the only thing she really cares about is how you make her feel, and your job is to make her feel aroused. Seems simple enough!
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The fact is, we all know what it looks like externally to be sexy - we’ve all seen James Bond movies where he looks deep into a women’s eyes or talks very slowly and firmly. We’ve all seen Johnny Depp movies where he touches women in a very delicate way and in very specific places. Pop culture is full of examples of what it looks like to be sexy. No, the key really is to allow yourself to be that way. You cannot be arousing if you are not first aroused. You cannot make her open up to you sexually if you yourself are not opened sexually. A pro-tip to jumpstart this process is to stop watching porn and, if you can, stop masturbating altogether. Within two weeks you’re going to start to feel sexy. You’ll be much more in your hips, much more in your core and less in your head. Being an arousing bad boy is about being the man she can see herself having sex with! That means to stop talking all the time, fidgeting and making jokes and instead, to relax, get into your hips, look deep into her eyes and visualize her naked, riding you. Look her deep in the eyes and communicate that the second you two are alone, you will ravage her. Communicating that way verbally becomes easy - simply verbalize what you feel. An easy way to get started with sexualization is to leave a lot of it to her imagination. Hinting is a powerful sexual tool. “You look like such a good girl… can you be bad?”
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The Most important Element Most Men Are Missing: Moxie Moxie is my favourite word. The dictionary defines it as ‘inventive courage.’ Courage Courage comes from the French… ‘coeurage’… It means ‘of the heart.’ Courage lies in your heart, gentlemen. Look, the old model of seduction operated on the assumption that women are on a pedestal and you are below them, and must therefore prove your worth by saying interesting things, displaying some behaviours, having a lot of money, or being overly handsome. Fuck all that. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” The only impressive ability you need is the ability to take a ‘bleh’ night on the town and make it an adventure worth remembering. That is where moxie comes into play. We spoke earlier about courage coming from the heart - the first clue is there. The first step to moxie is to be honest about what you want to do. I don’t believe you are boring. You were led to believe that a date is a formality, something you have to drag your feet through and pray it ends soon. What do you want to do? You heard of a cool restaurant you want to try? Take her. She mentioned she’s always wanted to take a yoga class, take her! You want to kick back at a hole in the wall dive bar that serves epic drinks, take her. The first step is to decide what you want to do and invite her to join. “Sometimes it takes talking to a 2 year old to remember the meaning of life.”
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The next part is super important; reconnect with your inner child. Have a childlike sense of wonder and curiosity. When I was living in Spain, I saw a stunning brunette walk past the bar I was at. I didn’t think twice about it and ran down the street to her. We spoke and she smiled. I invited her to go for a walk. As we walked in the narrow streets, I saw the castle on the hill. I took her hand and said “Come.” We walked to the top of the castle and just enjoyed the view until 2 in the morning. When I lived in Armenia, I met two adorable local girls who invited me to party with them. There were fireworks that night so we went to the Marriott to watch from the balcony but it was crowded and we couldn’t properly enjoy ourselves, so I got an idea… We walked down the hall to this door that said no entry. I pushed the door open - it was unlocked! I told the girls to follow me and we ended up on the roof of the hotel, enjoying the greatest (and closest) fireworks show I’d ever seen. Moxie, gentlemen! Inventive courage. What an incredible quality to have… Every night with you becomes an incredible adventure, something refreshing and seductive. What woman does not come alive at the thought of being swept away in your flirtatious and exciting ways?
“No woman ever leaves her house thinking ‘I don’t want to be swept off my feet today’” – Hitch
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