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PROG 1600

20 AUG 08 £1.90 IN ORBIT EVERY WEDNESDAY!

JUDGE DREDD g STALAG 666 g THE RED SEAS

6/8/08 17:25:23

188

The MIGHTY ONE Speaks!

THRILLS of the FUTURE

BORAG THUNGG, EARTHLETS!

Call me Tharg the Mighty, alien editor of this illustrious, awardwinning organ. Welcome to the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic! All-new Thrills commence within this pulse-pounding prog, Terrans, guaranteed to send a surge through your excitement circuits – we’ve got rising tension and highoctane hatred as the Mega-City mutants come under siege in Judge Dredd: Mutie Block by John Wagner and Kev Walker; there’s future-war drama on the fringes of the galaxy in brand-new story Stalag 666 by Tony Lee and Jon Davis-Hunt; and we’ve also got swashbuckling supernatural fantasy in The Red Seas: Old Gods by Ian Edginton and Steve Yeowell. Add to that the return next week of both Mek-nificent Seven the A.B.C. Warriors by Pat Mills and Clint Langley, and torturer-for-hire Lobster Random by Simon Spurrier and Carl Critchlow, and you have a line-up that will not just keep the Thrill-suckers at bay but blitz them into the Black Hole of Grexnixness! Sixteen hundred progs, eh? That’s a hell of a lot of Thrill-power that’s flowed through these parts over the past three decades. Of course, it would be remiss of me not to pay tribute to the sterling work that my truly talented droids have done in shaping the strips that make the Galaxy’s Greatest what it is. And of course none of us would be here if it wasn’t for you loyal Squaxx dek Thargo, parting with your groats every Wednesday to wrap your peepers around the best Thrills money can buy. Here’s to you, Earthlets everywhere – and let’s enjoy the next sixteen hundred progs together!

SPLUNDIG VUR THRIGG! 1600 COVER ART

by GREG STAPLES

Advertising, Marketing and PR Enquiries: 01865-792201 (marketing@2000ADonline. com). 2000 AD is published every Wednesday by Rebellion, Riverside House, Osney Mead, Oxford OX2 0ES, Earth. Tel: 01865-792201. All contents © 2008 Rebellion A/S, unless specifically stated otherwise. 2000 AD ® is a registered trademark. Reproduction, storage in a retrieval system or transmission in any form or by any means without prior permission of Rebellion is strictly forbidden. 2000 AD must not be sold for more than the selling price shown on the cover. Sole agents: Newsagents Direct Distribution Pty. Ltd. (Australia) and Network Distributor, Ltd (New Zealand). Any resemblance to people living or dead, or to any companies or institutions (except for satirical purposes) is unintended and purely coincidental. Printed in Great Britain by PCP. Distribution/Trade Enquiries: Seymour, 2 East Poultry Avenue, London EC1A 9PT. Tel: 020-7429-4000. ISSN 0262 284X. $ Damage report: PYE-01 returns from his honeymoon in Mexico with tales of ancient temples, jungle treks and cocktails in bed on the beach. Meanwhile, Cyber-Matt celebrates one whole year shackled to the lovely Em-bot with a scrotnig binge of pizza, The Dark Knight, and bling. Hot damn, now that’s what I call a good night out!

STEEL YOUR NERVES THE A.B.C. WARRIORS ARE BACK NEXT PROG!

d known as the the irradiated wastelan mployment c North America, with , une pti rife aly is g poc din t-a ow pos rcr of ove st ic citi-blocks, tant g MUTIE BLOCK ng the eastern coa s, crammed into gigant total anarchy. Empowered to dispense ins JUDGE DREDD This vast urban nightmare is situated alo e to 400 million citizen vent t says Hom AD. pre t. 0 tha can eas 213 law e, the ges the On e to Jud y ic ers Cit the ant rev ly gaMe ck Atl t. On ssure from Dredd to st and the polluted Bla e, and crime is rampan in special blocks... he is the Law! After pre Cursed Earth to the we versal. Tensions run a constant knife-edg allowing them to live all is JUDGE DREDD – m and the is, of uni pol st m tro ghe edo me Tou bor the er. to ion los Ezquerra ess cut acc exe endemic and ns and ize y jur den by John Wagner & Car men are judge, ing Cursed Earth Judge Dredd created justice, these future law m the city, Justice Department is now giv fro mutants must be exiled g PART SEVEN es oniter, hun er col outnty thebou ofed nyvis DEAD SIGNAL tele isr,ama oveve How e.nik ManrcracKol alie . t es an ure alis rat tili fut loy me r rep by , glo nea s’ ded con lini the loo rk sso th, ‘Muwo Eard-b thed net of me ’keen, a col onekna se., Nic cauing E ONVEN en ast ’keadc in RTRTELE ed by e Bro of to war with the Shh tured TonShh r nt capckl touwe sesha a ty ES6ggPAPA rsforforHi-the ani and g g tho rrio e, EY66 vin hum for rkin , wa ser fam wo ADAG s and ago ing of – rs wa e om ST DEAL ht n yea mis bec sig ma pro Ten s’, in the 2247.Red byend Danny h no al es, wited poroni thaht ade. ,Lur Corcol es with the ‘Snake ng Wit decnet ceran rnien. elvve g ner lea’ke thea pla LanTer ninms ! The edefor theerShh ILL8. t rul nedtaithe d by, aft n, 200 tharag b con taiTHR icteNow ict has bomalig NE BriW infls. nt and es era a car cam byme byelti hitern herecru t the wasgov ryw Ternran themselves. The confl eveins too aga y... k... the ed pla kes ss the ow on bac ora his Sna ple ks foll lab pay can en hel s the le ch so bac d, n wh he’ ir litt q it, ear t, tha cue a Ira the ed res er er res deb n in y aft s nag n low tur ma dutned eveDow ing to be hashe’ Pordton l isidearlie, okesidinere reaRa n awcon thiscal s are t wa itorma ughmy Red It’sund the galaxy, hop if the S’.aro vivseor,tra the nghe– tho EYEted ing en y sur ADdot Holdunt rythgoi onlrs, PJis-H : DEps soldie eveers r cam . The ng &Dav tion & Jon Ear gasth Al Ewi by Lee er oferawa Tony as ‘Op keeps the prison creabyted prison wn alted in ape crea kno it esc d Sign 666 wa ent l of ag Dea t erim rna Stal ugh ete exp tho an ... of the es d, run omt ere the becjec cov on e theitsub dis gon be bat torytle s can he’ y now ore the , and himbef in ps cam the er vincg pow mochi a psy Snadkes the release & Lee Carter Dead Eyes created by

John Smith

ence ir home on New Provid seas. Exiled from the rn the the ow Sou bel n the sio on g d of pirates preyin Alex, set out on a mis g OLD GODS by Jack’s half-brother the most infamous ban ng to put ied of pti em pan one att om re THE RED SEAS we are acc w n, ues cre me rog ds, Dancer and his ncer and his motley er, and the band of 1775. Captain Jack Da . It is now two years lat th sentence on their hea fuse for the American Navy declaring a dea of Ginger Tom’s son Jim r es that are lighting the tish ari rde Bri mu tion the h olu the h wit rev wit y the and to ged s tra Island, plie in sup ed end and s st ion running munit r’s father. The que e Yeowell going semi-legit and by Ian Edginton & Stev earth to rescue Dance aken... The Red Seas created very old is about to aw ernatural behind them, ing sup eth the h som wit s and , she too e bru their at work her . But ancient magic is War of Independence

For 2000 AD subscriptions, back issues and merchandise call: 01621-877-250 john Gendall (order #2770261) P.02 (NERVE 1600).indd 2

6/8/08 16:03:52

188

P.03-08 (DREDD-MUTIE BLOCK 1)

MEGA-CITY ONE, WEST GATE 17 _

6/8/08

15:28

Page 3

KEEP THOSE LINES ORDERLY!

a

CLAIMING CITIZENSHIP?

YES, SIR.

\ NEED DOCUMENTS. BIRTH, MARRIAGE, REASON FOR EXPULSION.

THESE ALL THE PAPERS YOU GOT?

JOHN WAGNER KEV WALKER CHRIS BLYTHE

SCRIPT

ANNIE PARKHOUSE

COLOURS COLOURS \ WAS BORN HERE. MY BIRTH SHOULD HAVE BEEN RECORDED, MY DNA AND STUFF.

A LOT OF RECORDS GOT LOST, BUDDY. WE’LL CHECK YOU OUT, BUT DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

TAKE THIS TO ROOM 4, VERIFICATION.

TED OL SAWS KI , AUXILIARY _ WORKING IM MY USED TO BE EASY. MUTIES ALL GET THE SAME ANSWER _ HIT THE ROAD , TOAD. NOW THE L AW’S CHANGED AN’ WE AIN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO CALL THEM M UT IES ANYMORE.

\ GUESS THEY HAVE A LEGIT GRUMBLE. A BIG INJUSTICE WAS DONE TO THEM. BUT YOU GOTTA WONDER, IS THIS THE WAY TO MAKE IT RIGHT? DO WE REALLY WANT THESE PEOPLE BACK?

john Gendall (order #2770261)

188


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15:28

Page 4

EN IGM A TU RNER , AUXILIARY _

YOU HAVE ALL BEEN APPROVED TO CLAIM CI TI ZEN SHIP OF M EGA- CIT Y ONE . BEFORE \ HAND YOU TO OUR ALLOCATIONS OFFICER, I’D LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE _ THIN K AGA IN .

THEY CALL ME IND U CTION OF FI CER. I’M REALLY A KIND OF OFFICIAL ‘D IS UA DER ’. \ SHOW THEM THE UNE MPL OYMEN T, CR IM E AND SU ICI DE STATS. \ GO REAL BIG ON PR EJU DI CE. THEY’VE GOT TO REALISE, IN THIS CITY THEY’RE GOING TO BE PU BL IC EN EMY NU MBER ONE .

DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, LIFE IN THIS CITY IS NO BOWL OF ROSES.

I’M TALKING ABOUT H ATE. PURE, UNBRIDLED HAT E. YOU WILL BE TARGETS FOR V ERBAL AND PHY SIC AL ABUS E, YOU WILL BE SINGLED OUT FOR VI OLENT A SS AUL T. M UR DER STATS _ N OR M ON M UT ANT _ ARE 36 0 0 PER CEN T ABOVE AVERAGE.

SURE, THE JU DGES WILL MAKE ARRESTS, BUT THEY CAN’T ARREST THE WHOLE CITY. BECAUSE _ AND LET’S BE HONEST _ NOBOD Y REALLY WANTS YOU HERE. ASK YOURSELVES _ IS THAT THE KIND OF LI FE YOU WANT?

\ PAY A BON US OF F OUR H UN DR ED CRED IT S TO ANY APPLICANTS WHO TURN BACK, PROVIDED THEY R ELIN QU IS H ALL FURTHER CLAIM TO CITIZENSHIP. SAVES THE CITY A HEAP OF MONEY, BELIEVE ME.


IN THE END, IF THEY STILL WANT TO COME IN, NOTHING \ CAN DO. THE LAW’S THE LAW. \ TRIED MY BEST. IT’S THEIR FUNERAL.

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NEW CITIZENS WERE BUSSED INTO SPECIALLY PREPARED BLOCKS DOTTED ACROSS THE MEGA-CITY _

M UT IES OU T!

NO MU TIES HERE!

WH AT AB OUT T HE GE N E P OOL ?

SCUMBO TS ! KEEP THESE NORMS BACK!


188


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15:28

JOE M c JOE , ORDINARY CIT _

Page 6

HERE’S A BRICK.

M U TIES ARE LA UGHI N’ ALL OVER THEIR FREAK FACES! CITY’S THROWING CA SH AT THEM LIKE CONFETTI!

GO ON, THROW IT. NOBODY’LL SEE YOU.

YOU WANT A NEW FREEZE BOX? YOU GOT IT, UGLY! BANJO LESSONS FOR THE JUVIES? NO PROBLEM!

GOT A LITTLE DRIP ON YOUR DIP, WE’LL SEND SOMEONE ROUND TA SHAK E IT FOR YA!

ARREST THAT CREEP!

BUT YOU TRY GETTING A NYTHI NG OUTA THIS CITY IF YOU’RE NOR MA L! THAT’S A D IF F ERENT STORY!

I MP ATIE NCE WATSON , HOUSING DEPT _ WE BEGAN CLEARING THE RESIDENTS OUT OF N ORM A JEAN BAK ER AS SOON AS THE M UTA NT LAW WAS PASSED. THE ID EAL IS FULL INTEGRATION, OF COURSE, BUT INITIALLY IT WAS FELT THAT MI XED BLOCKS MIGHT BE A TEENSY BIT DIFFICULT TO POLICE.


HID EY SM EG, MOTHER’S OF MEGA-CITY _

WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE? WE NEVER ASKED FOR THEM! WE DON’T WANT THEM! THEY’RE TAKING OUR F OOD AND OUR HOUS ES AND OUR JOBS!

BA RABAS OD ODO , CHURCH OF H.A.T.E. _ LET THE MUTANTS BE PU RGED IN THE FLAMES OF OUR R IGHT EOUS AN GER! WE WILL N EVER ACCEPT THE PRESENCE OF THESE DISGUSTING, SUB-HUMAN M ONST ROSI TIES AMONG US!

END ELL WENN , ANARCHY IN ACTION _ DISORDER _ TURBULENCE _ CHAOS... THESE ARE THE OPTIMUM CONDITIONS FOR OUR WORK. THE CITY IS A TINDERBOX. ALL THAT IS REQUIRED NOW IS THE RIGHT ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS TO SET IT ALIGHT.

RIGHT ON, SISTER! WE AIN’T GONNA TAKE IT!

188


6/8/08

MAY BICKERSTAFF, A FEW SHORT WEEKS AGO YOUR FAMILY WAS GRUBBING FOR G RU BS AT YOUR WASTELAND HOVEL. TODAY, A FINE NEW APARTMENT WITH ALL MOD CONS. HOW DOES IT FEEL?

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IT’S JUST WONDERFUL. IT WILL TAKE US A WHILE TO ADAPT, OF COURSE.

AND HAVE YOU MET ANY OF THE LOCALS _ N OR MA L PEOPLE, \ MEAN?

OH NO. WE DON’T GO OUT. IT’S NOT SAFE. QUITE A FEW RESIDENTS HAVE BEEN VERY BADLY INJURED GOING OUT _ KILLED, EVEN.

THEY FOUND OLD GIB SMELLIE FROM 422B WITH HIS H EAD CUT OFF JUST YESTERDAY.

THEY DON’T LIKE US. IT’S JUST NOT SAFE.

IT WAS SEVERAL WEEKS BEFORE THE RIOT BARRIERS AROUND NORMA JEAN BAKER WERE REMOVED.

GRADUALLY THE GUARD WAS REDUCED AS P ROTES TORS’ NUMBERS DWINDLED, UNTIL THERE WERE JUST A FEW D IEHAR D MUTANT HATERS WILLING TO BRAVE THE COLD OF ONCOMING WINTER.

TONIGHT EVEN T HEY WERE ABSENT.

STRANGE.

CONTROL, THERE’S NO ONE WATCHING BAKER. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUARD?

REASSIGNED TO THAT JUVE GANG CONFRONT AT PRECINCT 9. FIGURED THEY COULD BE SPARED FOR AN HOUR OR TWO.

HE DIDN’T LIKE IT. AND WHY NO PROTESTORS? COLD MAYBE, BUT NOT THAT COLD.

SOMETHING SMELT WRONG...


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TOOT HORN ABY, SEVENTEEN, WEST SECTOR GANG ALLIANCE _ THE WORD’S OUT. WE’RE GOING AFTER THE M UT IE BL OCK TONIGHT. WE’RE ALL TOOLED UP, GUNS AN’ BLADES AN’ ANYTHING THAT’LL BREAK HEADS.

A FEW SNORTS AND I’M IN THE MOOD _ AND IT AIN’T FOR L OV E!

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THEY’RE PASSING ROUND THE AN GRY D US T AND EVERYBODY’S GETTIN’ STEAMED.

BL OOD! BL OOD! BL OOD!

GONNA SPLASH THEIR JUICE ALL OVER NORMA JAY!

FREAKIN’ MUTIES AIN’T GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT ‘EM!

A WORD HERE, A WHIS PER IN THE RIGHT EARS _ PLUS LI BERAL HELPINGS OF BR AIN CH OWD ER. A SA CK OF J ACK JUST TO GET THEM FIRED UP, THAT’S ALL IT TAKES.

WE’LL BE THERE!

IT’S HAPPENING. TONIGHT, MIDNIGHT.

A RNI E OA KL EY, COLONEL, ARCHIBALD LEACH BLOCK VOLUNTEERS _ IT’S NOT OUR FULL C ITI -DE F UNIT _ CAN’T CALL IT CITI-DEF. GAVE EVERY MAN AND WOMAN THE CHANCE TO CRY OFF AND SOME TOOK IT. YELLOWBELL IES! DON’T GIVE A DA MN THEIR CITY’S GOING TO HELL IN A HOVERCRAFT!

WELL, WE DON’T NEED THEM! WE GOT DAMN NEAR A TON OF HIGH-GRADE PL AST EEN AND WE KNOW HOW TO USE IT!

WH AT’ RE WE G ONNA

DO?

BLOW THAT BLOCK SK Y HI GH, MAN !

F IRS T M UTI E BLOCK ON THE MOON!

NEXT PROG NIGHT MOVES! john Gendall (order #2770261)

188

FULLY LOADED! GETS TANKED UP

All-new Tank Girl story Skid Marks by Alan Martin and Rufus Dayglo starts Meg 275 Plus now bagged with every issue

a 64-page graphic novel collecting classic Thrills!

Also featuring

Ju dge Dredd Anderson, Ps i-Divisionse Tales Fr om the Black Mu um ON SALE 20 AUGUST 2008 ONLY £4 .99 john Gendall (order #2770261) P.63 (MEG 275 AD).indd 1

2/7/08 14:46:01

188

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TONY LEE

IN 2237, THE OUTER COLONIES WENT TO WAR.

JON DAVIS-HUNT

PART 0NE

ELLIE DE VILLE

FURIOUS WITH AN INEFFECTIVE TERRAN GOVERNMENT, MANY OF THE NON–ALIGNED COLONY WORLDS CUT TIES WITH EARTH -

- AND ALIGNED WITH THE SHH’KEEN, AN ALIEN RACE FROM THE OUTER TERRITORIES.

THE ‘SNAKES’ WERE UNLIKE HUMANS - INSTEAD OF DESCENDING FROM MAMMALS, THEY WERE COLD–BLOODED HUMANOID REPTILES.

WITHIN TWO YEARS THE SNAKES DE FACTO CONTROLLED THE NON–ALIGNED WORLDS. THE HUMANS WERE NOW ‘MUSSOLINIS’ TO THE SNAKES’ NEW REICH.

COLD BLOODED IN BOTH NAME AND NATURE.

WITHIN TEN YEARS THE MUSSOLINIS WERE NOTHING BUT SLAVES TO THE CAUSE, THE POINT–AND–CLICK WARRIORS OF THE EXPANDING SNAKE EMPIRE.

A DECADE–LONG GALAXY– WIDE WAR WITH NO END IN SIGHT. IT WON’T BE OVER IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS.

THERE ARE SOME THAT SAY IT WON’T EVER END.

AND FOR SOME, THAT’S TRUE - SPREAD OUT IN PRISONER OF WAR CAMPS ACROSS THE COSMOS, HIDDEN FROM THE TERRAN ARMIES’ VIEW.


THE CAPTURED. THE SURRENDERED. THE LOST. THE HOPELESS.

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THAT DOESN’T STOP THE HUMANS LOOKING, HOWEVER...

THAT OR THEY WERE BEING EFFICIENT. THESE CAMPS NEVER STAY IN ONE PLACE FOR MORE THAN A YEAR. PERHAPS OUR INTEL WAS OLD, OR -

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WHAT’S THE SCORE, ENSIGN?

SIR! WE’VE GOT AN OUTGOING VESSEL! IT’S A SNAKE TRANSPORT, BOLTING LIKE A RABBIT FROM A HOLE!

WE’RE ON THE GROUND, SIR. THE MARINES SAY THEY’VE FOUND A P.O.W. CAMP DZ–234 - BUT IT THE SNAKES LOOKS FRESHLY MUST HAVE BEEN CLEANED OUT. READY FOR US.

GET A FIX ON IT! LAUNCH THE F–56S!

DISABLE THAT DAMNED SHIP!


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THEY’RE POWERING WEAPONS WEAPONS FIRED! DIRECT HIT! SHIELDS DOWN FORTY PER CENT!

FIRE ALL GUNS! BROADSIDE THAT SON OF A BITCH! ALL HANDS TO THEIR POSTS! \ WANT HER STOPPED!

‘WE CAN’T LET THEM ESCAPE! OUR MEN - ’

SHIELDS FAILING! DAMMIT WE HAVE TO PULL BACK!


‘ - WON’T THANK US IF WE’RE DEAD! HYPERDRIVE’S FAILED! SIR, WE HAVE TO LET THEM GO! THEY’VE WON!’ SIR! ARE YOU LISTENING!

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BROODSSHIP ISS THROUGH THEIR BLOCKADE, SSIR. MINIMAL CASSUALTIESS.

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WELL DONE, NNSS’TRRK. THE WARM BLOODSS ARE BROKEN - THEY’LL NEVER CATCH USS.

JUMPING TO HYPERSSPACE IN TEN, NINE, EIGHT -

SSEND A MESSSAGE TO COMMANDANT TRSSS’TKK ON JEDDKHA. TELL HIM TO EXPECT BROODSSHIP SSHORTLY -

‘TELL HIM THAT WE HAVE SSOME NEW BLOOD FOR HIM!’

MEET THE NEW CAMP SAME AS THE OLD CAMP.

HEY YOU WERE AT INCARCERATION CAMP DZ–234, RIGHT? \ THINK \ GOT TRANSFERRED OUT AS YOU CAME IN. THEY CLOSE THAT ONE DOWN TOO?

YEAH, WE’VE BEEN SPLIT ACROSS ABOUT THREE GALAXIES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

\’M COLLINS. THIRD COLONY MILITIA.

HOLLAND. NAVIGATOR, TERRAN SPACE FLEET. SHOT DOWN THREE YEARS BACK IN THE CRAB NEBULA. DO YOU NEED TO SEE A DOC? THAT’S A NASTY BURN ON YOUR ARM...

NAH. LET’S JUST SAY \ NEEDED SOME ‘PUNISHING’ AT THE LAST HOLIDAY CAMP. IT’S FINE. SO ANY THINGS \ NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

PRETTY MUCH THE STANDARD DESIGN. ELECTRIC FENCES AROUND THE EDGE, GUARD DOGS, ACID MINEFIELD - SNIPERS IN THE TOWERS AND NOWHERE TO RUN TO IF YOU ESCAPE. SAME AS EVERYWHERE ELSE.


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ONLY DIFFERENCE HERE IS THE BASTARD, THE COMMANDANT OF THE CAMP. HE’S A DIE-HARD SNAKE, UTTER COLDBLOODED SCUM... AH, HELL -

- THEY GOT CORDEN AND CHILDS.

THEY ESCAPED? HOW LONG WERE THEY OUT?

NOT LONG ENOUGH. WE KNOW THE PLANET’S DESERTED THEY ALWAYS ARE - BUT THERE MUST BE SOMEWHERE OUT THERE WHERE THEY LAND THEIR SHIPS. WE HOPED THEY’D FIND IT.

THE SNAKES GOT WIND OF THE ESCAPE, THOUGH - WE’VE AN INFORMER IN THE CAMP.

SHIT, IF \ GOT OUT OF HERE YOU WOULDN’T SEE ME FOR DUST. THREE YEARS \’VE BEEN STUCK IN CAMPS -

- AND WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT, HOLLAND, IT’LL BE ANOTHER THREE YEARS BEFORE YOU’LL LEAVE.

AH, EXCELLENT - YOU FOUND OUR WAIFS AND STRAYS. WE’VE BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT THEM.

HIS LEG WAS CRUSHED IN THE THAT’S BATTLE OF HOPE’S COLONEL JOHN CROSSING - AND HE NEWTON, OUR STILL TOOK OUT COMMANDING OFFICER. A PLATOON OF WE CALL HIM MOTHER. MUSSOLINIS.


SSTAND BACK! SSTAND BACK!

JUST PASS THEM BACK OVER TO MY CARE NOW - WE’LL ENSURE THEY’RE PUNISHED ACCORDINGLY.

YES, THE PROBLEM IS, YOU SEE, THAT \ CAN’T UNDERSTAND A BLOODY WORD YOU’RE HISSING. SO BE A GOOD LITTLE ADDER AND GIVE ME MY MEN -

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THERE WILL BE NO GIVING BACK OF YOUR MEN TODAY, COMMANDER. SSO THESSE ARE OUR VALIANT ESSCAPEESS? WHAT A SSHAME. AND THEY GOT SSO FAR.

SILENCE!

DO YOU THINK \ EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR PATHETIC RIGHTS? YOU ARE GUTTER SCUM! TWO DAYS IN THE PIT FOR CORDEN! FOR PLANNING THE ESCAPE CHILDS TO GET TWENTY LASHES!

YOU’LL GET NOTHING FROM US, TRSSS’TKK. AS OFFICERS IN THE TERRAN ARMY WE CLAIM BY THE CONCORDANCE OF -

MAJOR ANDREWSS, YOUR CHARGESS ARE PLAYING UP. PUNISSH THEM.

THE PIT?

THE SANDPIT. YOU’RE BOUND AND BURIED UP TO YOUR NECK, WITH ONLY YOUR HEAD EXPOSED.

IF YOU DON’T GO MAD, YOU DIE FROM THE HEAT - OR FROM BEING EATEN BY THE WILDLIFE. NOBODY’S EVER LASTED MORE THAN FIVE DAYS, APART FROM -

PLEASE! \ DIDN’T PLAN THE DON’T LIE TO ME! WE KNOW IT WAS YOU!

LET ME GUESS THE MYTHICAL RAIDER.

LET ME ASK YOU, OLD MAN IF HE’S SO GOOD AT ESCAPING, WHY’S HE SO RUBBISH AT EVADING CAPTURE, EH?

THERE IS AN INFORMER. THERE’S NO WAY THAT THEY WOULD KNOW THAT...

HURTSS? DO NOT WORRY - THE PAIN WILL BE BRIEF.

PAY ATTENTION FOR THISS ISS WHAT HAPPENSS TO ANYONE WHO DARESS TO CROSSS ME!


HALF RATIONSS FOR A WEEK! DOUBLE EXERCISSE DRILLSS -

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-AND DEATH!

MOTHER OF GOD!

THAT COLD-BLOODED SON OF A BITCH!

WAIT THERE, COLLINS. \ MUST SSPEAK TO YOU, SSHAEFFER HOLLAND.

\’LL KILL HIM! AND HIS MUSSOLINI LAPDOG!

WHAT THE HELL... ?

YOU’RE A BIT CHUMMY THERE WITH THE SNAKE GUARD, AREN’T YOU?


\ DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. \ WASN’T TALKING TO ANY SNAKE GUARD.

BUT THAT WAS A -

SERIOUSLY. IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU, YOU’LL FORGET THAT YOU EVER SAW THAT.

NOW. LET’S FIND YOU A BED...

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IT’S HOLLAND AND COLLINS! LET US IN!

STAY CLOSE TO THE WALLS DON’T LET THE LIGHTS CATCH YOU!

YOU’RE LATE. WE’VE ALREADY STARTED.

SORRY. THERE’RE MORE SNAKES THAN USUAL OUT THERE. WE HAD TO CHECK IN ON CORDEN.

\ CHECKED HIM EARLIER. HE’S IN GOOD SPIRITS FOR A SUNBURNED HEAD, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.

AYE. WE MANAGED TO STEAL TWO SIDE BARS FROM A SNAKE TRANSPORT AND HAMMER THEM INTO A CRUDE PICK.

BACK TO BUSINESS, THEN. GIBSON WAS SHOWING US HIS LATEST PICK–AXE DESIGN.

WELL, WE THOUGHT IT’D BE EASIER TO JUST BRING YOU HERE NOW, SO YOU CAN ADMIT YOU’RE A MUSSOLINI SPY - A MOLE AND INFORMER FOR THE SNAKES.

THEY’RE STRONG AND DURABLE. YOU COULD STOVE A SNAKE’S SKULL IN WITH ONE OF THESE AND STILL CARRY ON THROUGH INTO THE ROCK.

LOOK, \-\ DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN-

LOOK, \’M SORRY, BUT WHY AM \ HERE? \’VE JUST ARRIVED AND SUDDENLY \’M PART OF THE GANG?


WHAT’S GOING ON?

YOU SEE, \ KNEW \’D SEEN YOU BEFORE, BUT NOT AS A PRISONER. AND THAT REALLY CONFUSED ME TO START WITH. \ MEAN, HOW ELSE COULD \ HAVE?

AND THEN \ REMEMBERED YOU WERE AT CAMP DZ-234, BUT NOT AS A PRISONER. YOU WERE A GUARD. WHEN THEY KILLED CHILDS IT CAME BACK TO \ RECALL ME. BEING WHIPPED ONCE FOR ESCAPING. \ RECALL BEING WHIPPED BY YOU.

WHIPPED BY ME? YOU’RE INSANE! \’M NO SNAKE LOVER! \ COME FROM IDAHO!

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YOU WERE A MUSSOLINI AND YOU WORE THE BADGE OF HONOUR AS A TATTOO ON YOUR UPPER ARM.

YES! \ THINK YOU’RE ALL STUPID!

BUT LOOK! A HANDY BURN COVERS WHERE IT WAS! DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WOULD WORK? THAT WE’RE THAT STUPID?

SOON THE WAR WILL BE OVER, AND YOU WILL LEARN TO FOLLOW THE SHH’KEEN AS WE HAVE -

SHUT UP AND DIE.

YOU STUPID BASTARD, THIS WASN’T AN ESCAPE COMMITTEE MEETING. THIS WAS A TRIAL AND EXECUTION.


WELCOME TO OUR NEW WORLD ORDER, SCUM. ENJOY YOUR THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER IN HELL.

WE’LL NEED THAT MOVED BY THE MORNING. MAKE SURE THE SNAKES SEE IT.

NOW. LET’S TALK ABOUT TUNNELLING. CORDEN WILL BE OUT IN A COUPLE OF DAYS AND HE’LL GIVE US A FULL LAYOUT OF THE SURROUNDING AREA...

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\ TOLD YOU THAT IT WOULDN’T WORK.

YOU THINK THISS FUNNY? \ WANT THE KILLERSS DEAD! \ WANT THISS CAMP PUNISSHED!

NOBODY NOBODY DOESS THISS IN MY CAMP!

YES, OH LORD AND BLOODY MASTER...

THAT WAS A GOOD PICK-UP, HOLLAND. WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WOULD HAVE FOUND OUT IF HE’D BEEN HERE LONGER?

THERE’S STILL A SPY IN THE CAMP, OLD MAN. MAYBE THIS’LL MAKE MOTHER SPEED UP OUR ESCAPE PLANS.

HE HAS TO, ANYWAY THERE’S TALK OF ANOTHER MOVE. CAMP’S BEEN HERE A YEAR NOW IT’S TIME TO START TRANSFERRING US AGAIN BEFORE WE’RE DISCOVERED. HEY! HAVE YOU HEARD? WE’VE GOT A NEW INMATE! HE’S JUST PULLED UP!

HE’S UNDER SERIOUS GUARD, A SPECIAL CASE THEY SAY HE’S RAIDER!

NEXT PROG THE MAN AND THE MYTH! john Gendall (order #2770261)

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g g g g g g g g g

GET A CAFFEINE RUSH! SUBSCRIBE NOW AND RECEIVE A LIMITED EDITION

JUDGE DREDD MUG Family members or work colleagues often pinching your favourite synthi-caff receptacle? Your kitchenware looking decidedly un-zarjaz? Then spruce up your domicile or desk with this scrotnig widescreen Judge Dredd mug, featuring a distinctive wraparound image by artist Brian Bolland. You’ll be the envy of your block – and if you subscribe to both 2000 AD and the Judge Dredd Megazine, it’s yours for FREE! This limited edition mug won’t be available from any shops, so don’t delay – subscribe now and enjoy hot liquid Thrill-power.

FREE! As if a free mug wasn’t incentive enough, as well as having 2000 AD and the Judge Dredd Megazine delivered straight to your door, it’s great value to subscribe to both titles, with every issue of the Meg now coming bagged with an additional 64-page graphic novel. For the bargain sum of just £11.95 per month**, you’ll get each new prog and Meg delivered direct – before they’re on sale in the shops. Postage is free, and you’ll actually save money. You’d have to be a Block Maniacrazed futsie not to take advantage of this ghafflebette offer!

If you prefer to pay an annual fee, send a cheque for £130.00 to 2000 AD Subscriptions, 8 Galliford Road, Maldon, Essex CM9 4XD. Subscription to 2000 AD only (49 weekly progs plus the 100-page Christmas special) is £7.95 per month (£89.00 p.a.). For 13 issues of the four-weekly Judge Dredd Megazine only, you pay £5.50 per month (£59.00 p.a.). All prices quoted are UK only. For overseas rates, see www.2000ADonline.com. *Subject to availability. Free mug is only available to subscribers to both 2000 AD and the Judge Dredd Megazine. **New UK subscription only. Minimum contract 12 months. One-month cancellation period required after 12 months.

TO SUBSCRIBE, VISIT WWW.2000ADONLINE.COM CALL THE SUBS HELPLINE ON (UK) 01621-877-250 OR EMAIL [email protected] T H E

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SUPPORTING THRILL-POWERED TEA BREAKS SINCE 1977!

john Gendall (order #2770261) P.02 (SUBS AD 08).indd 2 T H E

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ALBANY, UPSTATE NEW YORK, 1775:

WHERE IS THAT DAMNABLE BOY? WHAT’S THE PROBLEM, CYRUS? AH, \ SENT NATHAN TO FETCH THE CATTLE FROM THE HIGH MEADOW BUT HE’S BEEN GONE AN AGE AND A HALF.

OLD GODS a NATHAN! NATHAN!

IAN EDGINTON STEVE YEOWELL ELLIE DE VILLE

HE’S PROBABLY PAYING A-COURT TO WILLIAM MASBETH’S DAUGHTER EN ROUTE. SHE’S RIGHTLY BLOSSOMED SOME THIS SPRING. ALL THE YOUNG BUCKS HAVE NOTICED.

‘- BUT AFORE YOU KNOW IT, STRIFE WILL COME CALLIN’ AT OUR DOOR!’

THAT’S AS MAYBE BUT THESE AREN’T THE DAYS AN’ TIMES TO PLAY THE DOE-EYED FOOL. THERE’S WAR IN THE WIND, LUCAS. THIS IS A BIG COUNTRY ALL RIGHT -

AH–HUH! AH–HUH!

FATHER! RUN!

GHUKK!

NATHAN?


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MY BOY! THEY’VE DONE FOR MY BOY, LUCAS! INDIANS... IROQUOIS! THOSE FILTHY, HEATHEN BASTARDS!


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NO... NO, \ DON’T THINK SO...

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‘\ THINK IT’S SOMETHING ELSE!’

MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN!

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SPARE NO ONE! SET A TABLE FOR THE CROWS!


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WE ARE ATTACKED! TO ARMS! TO ARMS!

GO! BE THEIR DOOM!

YOU KILLED MY SON!


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GAAAHHH!

JOIN HIM IN THE DIRT.

THE SLEEPER SHALL NOT AWAKEN!


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STEADY AS SHE GOES, GENTLEMEN! LET’S HAVE HER SHIP-SHAPE AND BRISTOL FASHION BEFORE WE MAKE PORT! SHE MAY BE A TUB, BUT SHE’S OUR TUB!

THE CONNECTICUT COAST:

TIGHTEN AND TIE OFF THOSE LINES, MR MCKENZIE!

MR CAESAR, MR VINEGAR, SEE THAT SHEET AND CORDAGE IS CLEARED, IF YOU WILL!


WILL DO, SKIP!

GOTCHA, GUV!

AYE, CAPTAIN!

KEEP US ON AN EVEN KEEL, MR EREBUS! WE’LL MAKE A SEADOG OF YOU YET! OH, VERY DROLL.

\ DON’T KNOW WHERE HE GETS THEM FROM, \ REALLY DON’’T.

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YOU CLEARLY HAVE THE SEA IN YOUR BLOOD, JACK, BUT DON’T YOU MISS IT? MISS WHAT?

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‘ - WITNESSING THE SECRET HISTORY OF THE WORLD FIRST HAND!’

CHASING THE FANTASTIC -

AFTER ALL, IT’S BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE OUR SUBTERRANEAN EXCURSION AND \ STILL CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. YET YOU ALL SEEM TO HAVE SETTLED BACK INTO NORMAL LIFE WITH CONSUMMATE EASE...


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YES, WELL, IF WE DIDN’T WE’D STARVE, SIMPLE AS THAT. IF ONLY WE’D TROUSERED A FEW OF THOSE TREASURES ALONG THE WAY WE’D BE LAUGHING.

‘\’D EXCHANGE IT ALL IN A HEARTBEAT TO GIVE TOM HIS LAD BACK.

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SADLY, WE WERE MOSTLY PLAYING THE TERRIFIED TOURIST, ERGO WE NOW HAVE TO WORK FOR A LIVING!

‘THERE’S NOTHING WE SAW OR DID THAT WAS WORTH YOUNG JIM’S LIFE. WE LOST A FINE SHIPMATE, A GOOD FRIEND, AND LOVING SON.’

BUT THERE ARE TIMES, YES, \ MISS THE WONDER OF IT ALL, TO SET EYES ON SUCH SIGHTS AND PLACES AS FEW MEN HAVE SEEN.

THERE WAS TOO HIGH A PRICE TO PAY FOR SUCH RECKLESS ADVENTURING, THOUGH...

SO NOW, SEMI-SIBLING OF MINE, TO EARN A CRUST WE HAVE BECOME SMUGGLERS OF POWDER AND SHOT FOR THESE UPSTART AMERICANS!

\ AM AN ENGLISHMAN AND A PATRIOT, BUT WITH THE ROYAL NAVY AFTER US TO DO A GALLOWS JIG AND OUR PIRATE BRETHREN A DAMN SIGHT WORSE, IF WE HAVE TO SUP WITH RADICALS TO SURVIVE THEN SO BE IT...


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‘\’VE RUCKED WITH DEVILS AND DINOSAURS AND FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT ALONGSIDE LITTLE GREEN MEN. THESE MOUTHY COLONIALS ARE A DODDLE!’

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CAPTAIN JACK DANCER?

\ AM HE. HAS THE COLONIAL MILITIA COME TO HELP US UNLOAD OUR CHARGE? EXTRA HANDS AND BROAD BACKS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!

YOU AND YOUR MEN WILL COME WITH US. NOW.

AND LEAVE MY SHIP AND CARGO UNTENDED? PULL THE OTHER ONE, IT’S GOT BELLS ON! WE ALL HEARD ABOUT THAT HOO-HA IN BOSTON HARBOUR A COUPLE OF YEARS BACK. IT WAS NOT A REQUEST. YOU’LL DO AS YOU’RE ORDERED.


OR WHAT?

OR YOU AND YOUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE COOLING YOUR HEELS IN THE JAILHOUSE, AND YOUR BOY THERE WILL FIND HIMSELF IN SHACKLES, BACK ON A PLANTATION WHERE HE BELONGS!

\’M NO MAN’S SLAVE, DICKHEAD! AN’ \’M MORE THAN THE EQUAL OF YOU!

BESIDES, WE HAVE LETTERS OF MARQUE AND DISPENSATION -

INSOLENT -

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AH WUD NAE DO THAT IF AH WAS YOU, PAL. IF NAE F’YER OWN SAKE, THEN THINK O’YEH WEE CHUMS, ‘CAUSE THEY’RE THE ONES WHO’LL HAVE TAE PULL THIS PISTOL OUT OF Y’ARSE WHEN AHM DONE!

STAND DOWN, BILL. HE GETS THE IDEA. YOU’RE ALL UNDER ARREST -

RELEASE ME OR MY MEN WILL FIRE!

MAJOR GENERAL, \ DIDN’T MEAN... THEY WOULDN’T...

CAPTAIN TREFUSIS! WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD’S BALLS IS GOING ON HERE? \ ASKED YOU TO ESCORT THESE MEN, NOT WAYLAY THEM LIKE DAMNED FOOTPADS!

AH, NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE...

HELLO, GEORGE. TO WHAT DO WE OWE THE PRIVILEGE?

NEXT PROG HOME OF THE BRAVE! john Gendall (order #2770261)

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PROSTRATE YOURSELVES BEFORE THE MIGHTY ONE AND UTTER YOUR FOUL OPINIONS!

PEN FRIEND

Dear Tharg, I hope my letter finds you in your usual rude health. I was very impressed by The Vort, and not just because of the fine artwork provided by Mr D’Israeli (especially as he is the wrong side of 200!). I found the writing of Ms G. Powell (surely a George Eliot-like pseudonym, designed to ensure she is judged on the quality of her work, not the smoothness of her skin) magical and her effortless world-building skills inspirational. Bravo! I especially appreciated the surprise revelation that ‘Crispy’ wasn’t so crispy any more! I hadn’t seen that coming, as I was expecting the twist to reveal he was really Quentin Crisp – ‘An Englishman in the Vort’, as Gordon Sumner nearly sang. I’m sure Ms Powell has thought ahead and come up with a new nickname for this chap, as I feel the adventure is only just beginning. However, I don’t feel ‘Lob’ is much of a clue – perhaps we should look forward to a galactic game of tennis? A Wimbledon of the Worlds? It could be rather fun. I know a coy young filly like Ms Powell would never fall for a bluff old cove like my good self, but perhaps she might grace us all with a photograph in your fine publication – to ‘cut out and keep’ as the young folk say these days, and place on our bedside table, to stare at all moon-eyed before Morpheus’ velvet cloak descends upon us once again. Or a picture of that Spurrier droid in a dress, whichever is easiest to procure. My years in the Royal Navy have left me flexible on such matters, and I’ll wager a fine bottle of port that I’m not the only one! Your ever-faithful servant, Rufus Bedside III, Bedside Manor

Alas, G. Powell’s ravaged features must remain hidden for now. This droid’s twisted visage makes Crispy himself look like Conrad Conn…

MISTLETOE AND WHINE

Dear Tharg, Once my eyes finally stopped hurting from trying to read the lettering in Prog 1589’s Defoe, I was glad to see that this was the best issue in many weeks. It’s great stuff from cover to cover, most especially that remarkable double-page spread in Amerika. I just hope that before Defoe gets a reprint edition one day, it gets re-lettered for clarity’s sake. That was the only downside to this great story. I read the collected Young Death edition and really enjoyed seeing this great Thrill again. I’m glad to see more of this period of the Megazine finding its way into the reprint line. There were many other very good stories in the Meg’s first and second volumes. I hope we’ll see Armitage and Missionary Man making their way onto shelves soon as well. I suppose that by now you are putting the finishing touches on Prog 1600, and finalising plans for Prog 2009 in December. As you’re deciding what should appear in your annual big issue, I hope you’ll consider making this a little more of a standout issue than the last couple of year-end progs were. I’d like to see more one-off episodes of some Thrills that haven’t been seen in a while, possibly along with one or two oldies from the vault. If Winwood and Cord are going to be stomping around time and space again, a reprint of that Indigo Prime story from Prog 678 would be a good idea to reintroduce the concept to a new audience. Or maybe a new one-off Tharg tale – it has been too long since we’ve seen life in the Command Module from your perspective rather than P14’s. Maybe a Shakara one-shot, giving us more Teknosaur craziness? The possibilities are endless, so please don’t just use it for a bunch of double-length episodes and another Sinister Dexter comedy this year. Grant Goggans, USA

Quaequam blag, there’s bloody gratitude for you! So much for assuming you Squaxx wanted maximum bang for your groats…

SUITED AND REBOOTED

Dear Mighty One, I know I’m probably in the minority here but I can’t stand Defoe. The story makes very

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little sense and the black-and-white art, which I would normally love, looks messy and its sometimes difficult to really work out what on earth is going on. I’m disappointed that you brought Defoe back so quickly but you seem to have left the other brilliant series that made its debut at the same time still waiting for a return... Greysuit. When oh when can we expect to see the return of one of the best Thrills in recent years? I for one can’t wait to see some more Delta-class assassin action and to see if the minister gets his just desserts! And while we are on the subject of superb stories, when can we expect volume three of Kingdom? Regarding the rest of the current progs, the recent Dredds have been superb but some of the older characters are starting to get a little stale. Dante and Sinister Dexter are becoming dull and I wonder whether they should have a rest for a while for their respective droids to recharge? The Vort was excellent and I was surprised by the twist. It’d be nice if this is the beginning of an intelligent story arc involving Random who, as a character, hasn’t been used to his potential yet. Keep up the good work! Paul Cable, Windsor

Greysuit returns for the second scrotnig series in Prog 2009 (and yes, Earthlet Goggans, it will be a double-length opener!).

HUFF AND BLUFF

Dear Tharg, Nice double bluff, but to be honest the finale of The Vort felt like a cop-out coming so close on the heels of Dead Eyes’ Shyamalan-esque conclusion. A pity, because The Vort was shaping up to be one of 2000 AD’s classic future-war stories. Dante is at an absolute high at the moment. I could hear the silence after the crash in Prog 1596. Of course they’re going to live, but it was still a very poignant moment. Good show, Messrs Morrison and Fraser. And while I remember, is it just me or has the Elson droid has really stepped up a notch in Blindside? Clive Sharp, Australia

I don’t see any similarity between the endings of Dead Eyes and The Vort – the latter revolved around a character’s identity, so a reveal was on the cards sooner or later. As for the former, that was more a case of one story gatecrashing another…

RANDOM RETURN

Dear Tharg, Finding out that the Dead Man was Judge Dredd? Priceless. Finding out that Malone was Finnigan Sinister? Excellent. Seeing Indigo Prime again at the end of Dead Eyes? Wonderful. Seeing Lobster Random return at the end of The Vort? No! Please! Just… no! Some characters deserve to be forgotten. Please make him one once again. Paul Tapner, Dorset

Nope. The tetchy torturer is back next prog! Write to: 2000 AD, REBELLION, RIVERSIDE HOUSE, OSNEY MEAD, OXFORD OX2 OES Email (including your postal address): [email protected] Letter of the Week wins a 2000 AD Graphic Novel and every letter printed wins a zarjaz 2000 AD Heroclix figure!

6/8/08 15:58:14

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