Why this challenge? To help you first handle the core problem that is really the true cause to all other problems! What good will tools and techniques to pickup women be for you UNTIL you first make sure that you USE what you learn and STICK WITH IT UNTIL it pays off! Some may think that they have a problem with approaching, or with closing, or escalating, but in the end, these things can easily be resolved when you first find within yourself the DRIVE to improve them! This is what this challenge will do for you, OPEN THE PATH TO YOUR PROGRESS, AND PROPEL YOURSELF FORWARD FAST by first removing any stumbling blocks when it comes to how you approach APPROACHING women! As you begin, realize that this 10-day process will be like a mirror, meaning it will reflect to you what must really improve. For example, if after a few days you get caught up and don’t follow through; the real issue then is LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW THROUGH, LOL! Simple, potent, healing…Enjoy! DAY 1: RESOLUTION AND RESILIENCE!
Each year I see 2 main types of new guys coming into the game: First Type: Those who want to see if it will work for them. Second Type: Those who area ready to do whatever it takes to make it work for them, REGARDLESS!!! The first type is like a tourist just passing by, while the second type (the minority), is relentless and goes by one word: UNTIL!!! BUT WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM??? In the end, we're all extremely motivated; it's just that some are more motivated in the wrong direction, for the wrong reasons! So what gives the drive to the second type is DIRECTION OF FOCUS, backed up by REASONS, and not just any reasons, the reasons that will drive you! It will take some time, and for you to find all the RESILIENCE needed to keep on going UNTIL, it will take some serious drive! And your level of resolution determines your drive, and your level of resolution comes from finding all the reasons WHY YOU MUST! When the reasons to “DO IT” are strong enough, following through UNTIL happens MORE EASILY. I personally still feel the drive, 20 years after I first started! Why? Because I refuel, refill, and renew it each year, month, week, and day, so must you!
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SO HERE'S YOUR FIRST EXERCISE: 1. IN YOUR PICKUP J OURNAL (IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE YET, IT'S YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT, GET ONE), WRITE DOWN: A. The moment when because of not having women, or the success you want with women, you've most suffered, up until now! B. The most fulfillment you could possibly dream of with the best women ever! 2. WRITE DOWN AND FEEL ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH THIS TIME AND REALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN. The more compelled and moved you are by what you write, the more you are doing the exercise as intended.
DAY 2: ESTABLISHING INTELLIGENT TIME-LINE!
It’s now time to turn past pain and frustrations into fuel that will give you the motivation to follow through UNTIL! To keep consistent, if needed, when noticing that you feel complacent, re-read yesterday's list! The exercise was just a sample of how to generate more motivation by taking the time to really realize how not taking action would be too costly! Did you by the way notice yourself already a bit more driven after doing the exercise? For today, as it’s totally possible for you to do very well with women and f ind true fulfillment in that area (after all, why would you be SO SPECIAL, that unlike other men, you couldn't do well?), yet I T WILL TAKE... REPETITION THROUGH TIME!!! AND RESILIENCE TOO, especially during those moments when in the past you would have given up! So it will help to set an intelligent progress time line! The problem for most is that their expectation of their progress is set either TOO CLOSE OR TOO FAR IN THE FUTURE! Us instead, we're going to balance both a long-term plan and a short-term plan. First to avoid being too impatient, like those who so want to get really good RIGHT NOW they put way too much pressure on themselves and the women they meet. Coming across as needy, they get discouraged very rapidly.
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We're also going to avoid postponing and not taking enough steps like those who may think "what's the point? I'll never get there anyway!” SO HERE'S YOUR SECOND EXERCISE: Rather than being very random and on and off, which of course slows down anyone’s progress, set a time-line in advance! For example: "Ok I will dedicate the next two years to mastering this area of my life. I will set quarterly progress goals and check in then, and I will also check in with myself on a monthly, weekly, and daily basis.” So write down: 1. What time-line seems more than reasonable (1 year, two years, three years?) 2. What your ultimate goal is, and then set goals for period of 3 months at a time. 3. How often you will check in with yourself, lair, wings, and coach if you have one. By the way, I’ll help you for FREE to follow through with this 10 Day Challenge if you simply start to post your answers on our yahoo group, as many who take it do. Then in your time planner (if you don't have one, get one, i t's part of being a great leader and ALPHA MALE, know where you're going, and when you'll get there), choose 1 c olor pen that reminds you of the juicy reward that may be yours when you follow through, and simply circle random dates on a weekly and Monthly basis for you to “check in!” THEN THE RULES ARE SIMPLE: Whenever during the year you come across one of the circled date, TREAT IT AS THE MOST IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT EVER; AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOURSELF! If for whatever reason, you can't do i t that day, you have 24 hours to make up for it! Then you'll simply review your progress, and readjust as needed, being c ertain that you then take an immediate step such as: Going in the field that day, right there and then, opening a book or audio/video program on pickup, calling some of the numbers you have, etc. for as long as YOU ACT RIGHT AWAY! This is done for you to be reminded when you'll most need it, to follow through! Life is not a straight line, so of course, we'll all have to deal with what I call the 4Ds: 1. Delays 2. Distractions 3. Disappointments 4. Discouragement These are normal, yet what you must do is the moment you notice yourself having drifted, whether for a short period of a few hours or a longer period of a few days or
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weeks, RE-DIRECT RIGHT AWAY, without blaming yourself. But in order to do that, you must be aware of whether you're on track or not, that is why, those random reminders in your daily planner will be very efficient! BY THE WAY, WHAT I TEACH HERE I S THE RESULT OF YEARS OF MY OWN EXPERIMENTATION IN ATTEMPTING TO PRODUCE STEADILY RESULTS FOR OTHERS AND MYSELF! IT WORKS, AND IT'S UP TO YOU TO WORK IT! You will notice also that each day of the challenge you will become more and more aware of the real issues that prevented you from having the success you wanted with women. And to your surprise you'll probably realize that it had nothing to do with what you thought was the problem (example: up-bringing, past experiences, etc.) but i nstead that it simply was a lack of efficiently with following through. Hey, for a reward of a million dollars, any guy out there will turn himself into the next Casanova, it's just that often even as appealing as the idea of being with a hot chick is, and frustrating a sexless life is, we c an get too complacent and lazy! But take these steps steadily through your established time-line to the best of your ability; every man will soon look up to you as the ultimate winner with women! Do your part now! By the way, another habit that is very helpful is to go beyond your best and give it all you h ave. Now notice I wasn't shy or lazy with today's writting, so make it pay off on your side by setting aside excuses and giving this exercise the 30 minutes of your time that it deserves!
DAY 3: CONSISTENCY, FREQUENCY, AND INTENSITY!
A year from now, time will have passed by regardless, and what will have made the most difference in terms of the progress you will have made, and the results you will then be able to enjoy comes from... - FOR HOW LONG...You will stick with i t! - HOW OFTEN...You will take helpful proactive steps! - TO WHAT DEGREE...You will take those steps! I often hear guys say "but I don't understand, I've been at it for years, I am still not getting the results I want...I should be further by now..." For those who may have been feeling that way up until now...
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Question for you: "How truly and positively consistent have you been with taking the best steps you could take to the best of your ability, as often as possible, while keeping on doing that even when normally discouraged???" When someone says "I've been at it for 1 year..." for example, if we remove all the moments when the guy was distracted, discouraged, busy being frustrated, behind with his plan, in the end, THE YEAR SRINKS DOWN into sometimes even less than a few months, sometimes a total of REAL STEPS that doesn't even amount to a few weeks! This may be a bit of a harsh truth for some...As i t is easier to blame an "INEXPLICABLE" something that was holding us back as the reason for lack of sucksex, rather than taking full responsibility and exercise common sense, as in the end, it is not rocket science, it is simply based on the old but very true law of cause and effect: As you saw, so shall you reap! Waste most of your time being h esitant, reluctant to take that first step, arguing why you couldn't, coming up with excuses, then it shouldn't be a surprise at the end of the year, if the progress is not what you wanted it to be! But it's time for us to start to really reverse these "INVISIBLE PATTERNS" that direct your progress, and start to join the few, who DAY IN DAY OUT, EASY OR NOT, ANXIETY OR NOT, WILL STEP UP, ACT ON IT, REHEARS, APPLY, PRACTICE, REFINE, REDIRECT, REGARDLESS OF HOW LONG IT TAKES, AND IN A WAY THAT IS INDEPENDENT FROM THE FIRST FEW RESPONSES THEY GET FROM WOMEN! AND THAT IS THE SECRET FORMULA!!! That is what makes the difference between a guy who's on and off visits of the material and engagement may lead to him knowing quiet a bit, but not applying, and anyone who gets tremendous results in very little time. I personally bedded, kissed, and got blow jobs from 36 girls in the first 3 months of being at it, back in the mid 90s (that’s about 12 per 30 days)! Pretty good for a beginner at the time, but it is also true that I immersed myself into it, and went at it relentlessly and fearlessly, getting pass through 100s of NOs, “Who the fuck are you?” , “Get out of my way…”, “You're not my type”, “I have a bore friend”, “I don't kiss on a first date”, “I have my periods”, “You're too much like this… Not enough like that...” and so on! Trust me, I've had more than my share! And all those time of “almost but not quiet”, a girl naked in bed freaking out at the last minute leaving me with a hard on, LOL, a pretty good start of an LTR leading to a dramatic break up only weeks or days into it... But bless all of those, because...IT'S THE ONES WHO DON'T THAT WILL LEAD YOU TO THE ONES WHO DO!
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MEANWHILE, YOUR THIRD EXERCISE IS: Review backward, from today to same time last year, the actual REAL STEPS you took. Draw a chart, and for each month rate your consistency, frequency, and intensity (how much you've put in it...or if you just barely tried). Rate each from 0-10, anything below an 8 each month, is simply not enough and will take you too long. Then this year, rate as you go, on a daily basis, in your time planner, each day...so it will help you to right away notice any lack of consistency, frequency, and intensity! I CAN GUARANTEE, THE VERY FEW WHO MAINTAIN A WHOLE YEAR (IT MAY NOT EVEN TAKE THAT LONG), OF DAILY IMMERSION AND APPLICATION, TALKING TO AT LEAST 10 WOMEN EVERYDAY, DAY IN DAY OUT, WILL GET MORE THAN THEY EVER HOPED FOR! You'll either soon have more women then Hugh Effner, or will be even happier than the happiest man in an LTR (which is me by the way, LOL)! So take your two steps now: 1. Review one month at a time and rate the quality of your involvement and engagement so far since you started. 2. Begin rating on a daily basis, NOT THE RESULTS, BUT YOUR WILLINGNESS AND PARTICIPATION! Keep it up...I am purposely giving a lot because I want this to also serve as a mirror for you to identify any lack of actual consistency in following through with the exercises! Did you get a good start on Day one but are starting to drag behind...??? Are you tempted to put it off today??? DON',T DON'T, DON'T!!! Change that once and for all, follow through like a real ALPHA MALE, that to me is the true meaning of being ALPHA.! Don't pussy out on us, acting like a pussy keeps pussy away, acting more ALPHA brings pussy all the way, LOL! And for those for whom that lack has shown even before we begun, or those for whom it may show... You now have your diagnosis as far as what has prevented real results. And now we'll equip you with what you need to ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH. And for those who are just reading and not doing the exercises, come on, WAITING has probably been your real issue, ACT, ACT, START, START NOW, NOW!
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And for the few who may have been rather consistent in the past, what you want to eliminate this year, are those moments of discouragement, often taking place just before it actually gets better. We all tend to give up a bit too soon...STICK WITH IT!!!
DAY 4: PRIORITIES, INVESTMENTS, AND IMMERSION!
On day 4, let's address the easiest and most common excuse: "I don't have the time or what it takes to get the resources needed..." Since we all have the same amount of hours in one day, not having the time is really NOT MAKING THE TIME! We always find the time for top priorities! Same is true with women saying they don't have the time, what they are really saying is "This i s just not that important and urgent to me..." And like women, when we really want something, we always can find the time and what it takes for it! So the real issue is: "HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?" And as men, when we get to the core of much of what we do and pursue, it all leads back to our basic human need to connect with the opposite sex! That is why I'd like to invite you to RE-THINK your priorities, and get your more "ALPHA self" in gear, so this year, you step up and join the ranks of those who will go beyond just trying pickup to see if it works, but instead will DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, UNTIL!!! When you recognize that even the quality of your work and your health is often affected by a lack of affection, sexual fulfillment, and connection, then thriving with women can be recognize as a much higher priority! How much are you really willing to invest in your success and for how long? What length are you willing to go to? How far would stretch to get fulfillment with women? Many students when they see me in action try to attribute my skills to a natural ability, something special, thinking, "Vince is just a very social guy..." The real source of my abilities boils down to one thing: I'VE MADE THIS MY MAIN PRIORITY (ASIDE FROM SPIRITUALITY AND HEALTH) AND HAVE FULLY IMERSSED MYSELF INTO IT EVER SINCE I FIRST STARTED! Something anyone can do, as we will always have priorities, and invest ourselves in one direction or another... So will it be excuses or EXTREME IMMERSION??? SO HERE'S YOUR FOURTH EXERCISE: Step 1: GET TO THE CORE OF WHY YOU MUST MAKE HONORING YOUR DESIRE FOR FULFILLMENT WITH WOMEN THE TOP PRIORITY THAT IT REALLY IS: List all the ways in which your lack of fulfillment with women has affected your self-
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esteem, quality of your work, health, drive for life, self-confidence etc. THE LONGER THE LIST, THE GREATER THE DRIVE! Step 2: IDENTIFY ALL THE THINGS YOU HAD PUT AHEAD OF YOUR PICKUP: Examples: being too tired, focusing on minor things, putting it off, focusing more on the initial discomfort of having to approach rather than the fulfillment to come (LOL)... etc. Step 3: IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, LIST THE EXTRA STEPS YOU'D BE WILLING TO TAKE AND HOW FAR YOU WOULD GO TO SUCCEED: Example "Waking up 30 minutes earlier in the morning to study! Not only listen but take notes! Set aside 1 hour or more each day to go in the field! Talk to any women you cross path with! Re-listen and re-watch all the material you have, but this time TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY! Go back out for a f ew more hours NOW, etc. THE TRUTH IS THAT MOST GUYS ARE A BIT TOO SHY WHEN IT COMES TO "JUMPING IN THE WATER" -- SO TO SPEAK! If you're too hesitant and casual about your learning, no surprise then if you're also hesitant with women!!! SO GO THE DISTANCE, STUDY IT MORE AND BETTER THAN ANYONE, SPEND MORE TIME OF GREATER QUALITY IN THE FIELD THAN ANYONE, TALK TO MORE WOMEN MORE OFTEN THAN MOST GUYS, AND KEEP AT IT WHEN MOST WOULD GIVE UP...TURN IT INTO A LIFESTYLE! KEEP A SUPERB ATTITUDE WHEN MOST WOULD GET PISSED!!! That is the best-kept secret of all so-called Gurus out there! You may be even more talented than most of the guys out there, but you wont know it until you do more than the ones who do the most! It's your life; you are you, YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF AS A MAN TO HONOR THIS ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE! True masculinity is getting what you want! Since the sexual revolution of the 60s, both men and women have become freer and more emancipated but also more confused. And many men have become very feminized, very wimpy! Awaken the warrior within and step up, go after it the way our ancestors would cross the desert and mountains to reach the promise land!
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BE A MAN, YOU WANT IT? GET IT! GO ANY LENGHT AND PAY ANY PRICE...In the end you'll either have regrets or rewards, and you'll pay a price anyway...except rather than a wise investment of time and resources, it will be the price of loneliness, frustration, and blame. These thoughts are an example of how to generate REAL LASTING DRIVE... We all have it within, but it's in the back of our minds! So what you must do, and what these exercises are designed to do is to bring it right in front of your eyes, so you don't let too many years pass by before you can genuinely say: "I am truly fulfilled in my sex and love life." DAY 5: FEEDBACK MODELS THAT MOVE YOU FORWARD!
What would you think is the number one most limiting aspect of learning that kills most guy’s motivation and progress??? Did you ever feel like crap because you should have taken a step but didn't? Have you ever felt truly frustrated because a woman didn't call or show up? Do you sometimes feel upset at yourself, or women, or even the game? Here's your answer then; The one thing that will most pollute a guy's progress and advancement is... A LIMITING, NEGATIVE FRAME OF FEEDBACK!!! The single biggest difference between the ones who have all the fun with it and those who keep on struggling with it is THE FEEDBACK YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF, AND THE MEANING YOU GIVE TO WHAT WOMEN DO OR DON'T DO! I realized that years ago, when I noticed that if for whatever reason, at the end of a night, we had not gotten laid, the more natural guys went home feeling really good regardless, but other guys would go home feeling like failures. Then I noticed the same at the level of a simple approach, often, even the bests at it have to deal with women not replying, but we remain un-affected, while some guys freak out, and take it too personal! CHANGE YOUR FEEDBACK MODEL, CHANGE YOUR EXPERIENCE! Most people's feedback model consists of: 1st: Focusing on everything that went wrong and making a big deal of it. 2nd: Forcefully wishing for better while not really being pro-active, and solution oriented about it.
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Example of what it may sound like: "I should have closed her, I didn't even mention it, why do I always do that, I should close more often, that's my problem..." NO, your problem is that your model of feedback sucks!!! It is way too negative, wi mpy, and doesn't have a sense of resolve! But the negativity must end somewhere so no need to feel bad about that, LOL!!! Start to rejoice that you're at last aware of it! Now understand me well here, this is not about positive thinking or NLP reframing, I do love those things but this goes far beyond that... It is about ATTRACTION!!! In order to attract you must be at a certain level, frequency, and radiate a certain vibe and aura, but if you're feeling like crap, BLAMING YOURSELF, THAT ISN'T SEXY!!! STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF! So change that! The only place where you should be HARD ONTO SOMETHING IS ON HER JUICY PUSSY THAT CRAVES YOU, LOL!!! But not on yourself, it's like Feedback Gayness and S&M, LOL! Seriously, I also know that for most, their feedback may be more neutral, not really negative nor positive, still up-grade! You want what propels you forward without being too chaotic, because strong emotional ups and downs, will wear someone out. When guys are really down, could it really be the results of all the rides they took on this emotional roller-coaster of hope and doubt, pain and pleasure??? It is too bi-polar, find a more even and healthier path to progress! The FAST PROGRESS MODEL OF FEEDBACK: 1. FOCUS ON WHAT WAS GREAT OR AT LEAST SLIGHTLY BETTER, AND MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT! 2. FOCUS ON WHAT STEPS YOU CAN TAKE NOW TO MAKE WHAT MUST IMPROVE EVEN BETTER STARTING NOW! Example: "I went out there, that is truly awesome, it's starting to come together. I even made a few comments, and I did talk with that waitress for a bit!!! Awesome!!! I am excited, and next time, what I will do even better is that I'll make sure to add a time c onstraint too!"
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AND WHEN REVIEWING YOUR INTERACTIONS, RELAX YOUR BODY, EASE UP YOUR BREATHING, LET YOUR WHOLE BEING FEEL MORE FLEXIBLE because Physical flexibility leads to mental and emotional flexibility and vice versa. SO HERE'S YOUR FIFTH EXERCISE: 1. REVIEW THE TIME(S) WHEN UP UNTIL NOW YOU GOT MOST FRUSTRATED WITH YOUR PICKUP! WHAT MODEL OF FEEDBACK DID YOU FOLLOW? WHAT DID YOU TELL YOURSELF? WHOM DID YOU BLAME FOR YOUR LACK OF RESULTS? HOW LONG DID YOU STAY AFFECTED? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAKE IT BETTER? 2. THINK OF YOUR MOST RECENT INTERACTION (OR LACK THERE OF) AND WRITE DOWN THE FEEDBACK YOU GAVE YOURSELF! THEN GENUINELY ASSESS IF IT PROPELLED YOU FORWARD, HELD YOU BACK, OR MADE YOU STAY AT THE SAME PLACE? 3. GO IN THE FIELD TODAY, AT LEAST BRIEFLY, AND WRITE DOWN IN YOUR JOURNAL AT LEAST 5 THINGS THAT WERE GREAT, THEN HOW YOU PLAN TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER NEXT TIME! EVEN IF YOU DON'T APPROACH, AT LEASE FEEL GOOD THAT YOU WENT OUT! Remember, the first person you must pickup and seduce is YOU! So if your own impact on yourself and behavior takes you down, how can you expect for women to be mesmerized by it? Start to PICKUP your mood, make yourself experience more COMFORT, and find yourself ATTRACTED towards more and more fun in the field!!!
DAY 6: CREATING A CORE BASE BEFORE REACHING CORE BOTTOM!
Of all the exercises we've been doing, this is BY FAR, the most essential! And here's why... Most guys don't realize that mastering pickup and reaching true fulfillment with women, doesn't only comes from doing new things, but also and mainly from letting go of old responses! OUR GOAL IS TO START TO ELIMINATE AND EXTRACT THOSE TIMES OF FRUSTRATION, AND NEGATIVE RESPONSES ON YOUR PART, BOTH AT THE LEVEL OF INNER GAME AND IN THE FIELD! And we're going to do so in a very WISE, MATURED, AND PRACTICAL MANNER! For that, let's set an intelligent guide line:
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First, as positive as we want to be, we must realize that WE ARE NOT MACHINES, WE'RE HUMAN BEINGS! Fascinating creatures equipped with complex interconnected mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual systems! That is why it is only intelligent to humbly understand that even with the most empowering life psychology, we will still at times reach moments when we may feel "down"! But being truly positive is not aiming to be on top of the world all the time, but to be better prepared to go through the cycles of life! How does that apply to pickup? It is a crucial element for your success, because what do you think will happen when you start to much better manage the "ups and downs" of your dealings with women? When even if the girl doesn't show up, even if it takes much longer than you thought it would at first, even if you have to stay without sex for a whi le, you are able to sustain a much greater attitude and move forward even when others would waste sometimes days or even weeks or months being down, or not doing much, or doing a lot but in a very painful and pessimistic manner??? By the way, for those who may feel that they indeed were pretty steady so far, but still didn't get results, then the deeper issue is probably QUALITY!!! Meaning, it's not enough to put the time into it, if all of that time invested is combined with lots of doubts, complaining, resisting, hesitating, it cancels it out! So TODAY’S EXERCISE IS ABOUT BRINGING QUALITY BY SETTING A "CODE OF CONDUCT" TO BE APPLIED AND FOLLOWED EVEN IN DOWN TIMES! IN PSYCHOLOGY WE CALL THAT "THE CORE BASE!” It's a pre-set agreement with yourself about what you're going to do in case of emergency! Just like going through a drill on a boat, and being prepared to know what to do just in case!
YOU WILL CREATE TWO CORE BASES, AND THEN CUSTOMIZE BASED ON YOUR LEVEL: First: YOUR "IN FIELD" CORE BASE! Decide ahead of time what you will AVOID BY ALL MEANS, and do instead, in case of not acting as planned! Example: A guy goes in the field, wants to talk but for whatever reason he doesn't. He starts to get a bit concerned, soon becomes upset, his whole body language starts to communicate that he's not comfortable, he feels more and more awkward, starts to blame himself, maybe on top of that, he tries to open a set, but they don't respond, it gets worst and worst! NEW CORE BASE CODE OF CONDUCT:
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“In the event this would happen, I make the commitment with myself that I will REFRAIN from: Tensing up, focusing on what is wrong, and fall for the negative loop! Instead I will: Keep on breathing, make sure my body stays loose and comfortable, move around in the crowed and focus on simply maintaining a pleasant state and having fun while making some observations, then I can always built form that again…” To put it simply, this is about avoiding making it worst! Most guys, when it starts to stink, end up taking a crap on top of it – so to speak, as if it wasn't bad enough, LOL! Your second CORE BASE will be f or what you do in private after a disappointment or delay in the field. To give you an idea, early on, at one point, I found that I would be on top of the world when going home with a phone number or kiss or hot girl, but if one would cancel, not call, or give me major resistance, I would freak out, lay in bed feeling miserable, and feel like crap for days. So one day I set a new code of conduct, and if ever it would happen, my plan consisted of... Get home, take a bubble bath and play affirmation CD in the background! Then watch a seduction VHS (that's how long ago it was, LOL), then meditate to go to sleep early, then go the gym next day with CD player, then approach 100 women the next day...And guess what, first time I ever did that, I GOT LAID THE NEXT DAY!!! Even if you don't approach 100 women, that’s OK, we simply want to create a new, more resourceful response. Be certain that it is doable enough, so even if feeling really down, you'll still go for it, and for extreme case, have just ONE positive thing, could be “OK, I lay down, got nothing to do except press play and listen to my new download!” Or in the field, “Ok don't even have to talk, I j ust must have a pleasant time...” Got it??? Finally, before the actual exercise, a side note that will be very h elpful, based on an acronym used in recovery programs: HALT! H = UNGRY A = ANGRY L = LONELY T = TIRED When anyone of those 4 is present, don't search too far; it is just that you need to rebalance that first, nothing to do with you or pickup, or women! And when ALL FOUR ARE PRESENT, IT'S OFTEN A DEADLY COMBINATION, so use this system to calibrate yourself, because often the challenge is much simpler than it appears. I've seen guys drive themselves crazy in the field, and for a few days at home after that, when all they needed was…a little rest and self-care!
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SO HERE'S YOUR SIXTH EXERCISE: STEP 1: Write down what up until now you would do and think, and how you would response if being in the field and not doing as well as you wanted? Would you get upset? Shut down? Isolate yourself? Not even breath and have fun anymore? Get too pushy? Forget about all the progress you have been making? Dramatize and make it seem like you NEVER did any good approaches at all and never TOOK ANY STEPS? LOL, I'VE BEEN THERE!!! Ask yourself, was that really needed? The ultimate compass is the following question, write it down and use it when needed, "Is my current behavior moving me forward or holding me back?” STEP 2: Write down what up until now you would do when reaching places of disappointment with your pickup? If girls would not call, or show up, or when really wanting sex but not getting any, what then would you do? Now establish your new code of conduct of DO’S AND DONT’S in such case! My new core base will be… DAY 7: FUN, FLOW, AND FOLLOWING THROUGH!
The challenge for most is that they operate from what I refer to as AN INVERTED ASSOCIATION. Meaning they equal too much pain to approaching, instead of realizing how much fun it can really be, AND NOT ENOUGH PAIN TO NOT APPROACHING! We've all gone through an experience called "SCHOOL"! In whic h for the most part, much pain, seriousness, and dullness were associated to learning! And it formed references that we must learn to let go of when it comes to playing with PICKUP! BECAUSE the art of seduction, the science of enticement, the craft of attraction is really about EXCITEMENT, SEXINESS, FUN, AND PLAYFULNESS! So most guys are way too stiff and rigid when it comes to MASTERING IT! The only place where you really want to be more stiff and rigid is in between your legs in the bedroom, LOL! Seriously, it's time to bring the fun back into it! FOR THAT, LET'S START BY RE-DESIGNING YOUR MODEL OF LEARNING: In NLP, we talk about META-PROGRAMS (opposite options to process the world), for example when it comes to learning one option is "THE PERFECTION MODEL” in which it is understood from the start that no actual steps should be taken until a level of perfection is reached. This will work well for things like surgery, piloting an aircraft, taking the bar exam, etc. but it will mess up your pickup f aster than you know it!
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The opposite option is what we call "THE SKETCHING MODEL", in which it is understood form the start that what comes fi rst is not final, and that i t is part of the process to “not do it so well” at first, never the less, DO IT! This is perfect for more artistic disciplines, such as playing an instrument, improvisation, drawing etc. and ESPECIALLY PICKUP! The core challenge that takes away the fun tends to come from thinking of the process as BEING TOO FINAL!!! The truth is that for the first few months of doing it, or weeks, it is best to not even think in terms of "I SHOULD CLOSE HER..." or "I HAVE TO APPROACH..." But instead come from a place and a frame of experimentation. Example: "Let's find out what are all the ways in which women could respond when being approached...” This way there is no right or wrong, good or bad, success or failure, but ONE BIG EXPERIMENT IN WHICH IT ALL ALWAYS SERVES YOU, AND YOU CONSTANTLY CAN HAVE FUN DISCOVERING NEW THINGS... SO HERE'S YOUR SEVENTH EXERCISE: 1. IDENTIFY HOW MUCH OF HOW YOU'VE BEEN GOING ABOUT LEARNING PICKUP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, BUT IS JUST "REMAINING RESIDUE" OF PRIOR LEARNING EXPERIENCE(S) AND A FALSE IDEA OF WHAT DATING AND FLIRTING SHOULD BE ABOUT. 2. HOW MUCH OF HOW YOU APPROACH PICKUP IS BASED ON "THE PERFECTION MODEL" AND HOW MUCH OF IT IS BASED ON "THE SKETCHING MODEL?” 3. SET A NEW FRAME IN WHICH IT IS ALL GOING TO BE A FUN EXPERIMENT, DESCRIBE THAT IN YOUR OWN WORDS… Example: "From now on, I let go of any rigid expectations, instead I consider it all a big fun exciting experiment in which whatever I do or not, whatever women do or not, will all serve my playful research! I get curious and all aspects of the process fascinate me., EVEN where I used to get too anal, I now exercise a sense of playfulness..." 4. IF YOU WERE TO DISCOVER THAT PICKUP IS THE MOST FUN, EXCITING, AND COMPELLING THING TO DO, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT IT, DESCRIBE THAT... Example: "If I was to discover that pickup is the most fun thing ever, I would approach much more playfully, and be more carefree about women's responses...I'll look forward to any minute I could use to do it...I would do it all the time...etc.”
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YOUR BONUS ASSIGNMENT IS TO SPEND AT LEAST 3 HOURS EXPERIMENTING WITH WOMEN FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS (1 HOURS A DAY), DO IT!!! This will make a lot of what we talked about surface, and best way to learn is to PUT yourself in the situation! KEPP IN MIND, IT’S ALL-GOOD!
DAY 8: SHAPING YOUR SOCIAL, PROFESSIONAL, AND LOVER IDENTITY
For many, part of what holds them back i s a lack of congruency between their core identity and the principles of efficient pickup! For them, it feels as if "They are doing something" versus simply making it be part of being themselves! This also tends to cause lots of back and forth between progress and being stuck, since the moment they start to do better, because they don't identify with possibly being successful with women (they want it, but don't really think it is possible for them), they get pulled back to where they think they belong! AT THE CORE STRUCTURE OF IDENTITY, THERE'S TWO MAIN OPTIONS TO EVALUATE WHERE WE BELONG... 1. INCLUSION - Recognizing an experience as being the norm. 2. EXCLUSION - Thinking of an experience as being the exception. WE ALWAYS GRAVITATE BACK TO WHERE WE THINK WE MOST BELONG. That is why often when guys finally get the girl they wanted, they fail at staying with her! So deservingness is a huge part of creating your true sense of identity! NEXT CHALLENGE FOR MANY WITH IDENTITY IS THAT IT IS EASY FOR A MAN TO ONLY IDENTIFY WITH HIS OCCUPATION, AND FAIL TO HAVE A SOCIAL IDENTITY AND A LOVER IDENTITY! Finally, it is also essential, for the sake of attracting the women you'll meet to h ave a sense of a professional identity that is appealing to women and beyond average! So here's your exercise today (and it's an ongoing aspect of your PU, that you'll refine through time.) SO HERE'S YOUR EIGHT EXERCISE: 1. EVALUATE IF TO YOU, DOING WELL WITH WOMEN WOULD SEEM LIKE "THE EXCEPTION" OR "THE NORM?”
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2. WHEN YOU THINK OF HOW WOMEN PERCEIVE YOU, WHAT COMES TO MIND? WRITE IT DOWN (at all levels, physically, your vibe, your style, your essence, your lifestyle...)" 3. CIRCLE WHAT PART OF STEP 2 WORKS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, AND CROSS OFF ANY LIMITING STATEMENT ABOUT YOURSELF. ALSO CHECK FOR CONGRUENCY; DOES SUCH STATEMENT ALIGN WITH YOUR WANTS AND DESIRES WITH WOMEN? 4. WRITE A NEW STATEMENT OF IDENTITY IN WHICH YOU INCLUDE YOURSELF AS HAVING HIGH POTENTIAL TO DO VERY WELL WITH WOMEN. THEN FURTHER CHECK FOR CONGRUENCY; CAN YOU READ THE NEW STATEMENT AND START TO IDENTIFY WITH IT? IF NOT, WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE BOTH IN THE WAY YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF, AND THE STATEMENT YOU WROTE SO IT FEELS CONGRUENT AND HELPFUL? The challenge here is to write a statement of identity that is believable and helps you to move forward. For that you may use words like STARTING TO...BEGINNING TO...MORE AND MORE... 5. WRITE AN APPEALING ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: “What do you do for a livi ng?” Example: I helped a client turn "I am a computer programmer for video games" into... "I create and design something so powerfully addictive...most people can’t ever stop once they touch it...and it's totally legal!" Then answer: “What are the 3 most awesome things about you?” DAY 9: COMPLACENCY, THE #1 ENEMY!
While many may think that failure is the main reason for people to give up, often it is the first few signs of success that cause those who are not aware of this, to end up drifting into.... COMPLACENCY!!! It always cracks me up to see sometimes returning students at seminars showing up late and sitting in the back and chatting...BUT NOT IN OUR BOOTCAMPS! We rapidly bust their balls and get them back into realizing that the more you know, the more reasons to do even better! It is a rather common tendency in our culture, but complacency is a killer of opportunities!!! The road of complacency will never bring anyone to a level where
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threesomes, super hot babes, and true fulfillment resides, it will simply bring you back to more frustrations! True success with women and real fulfillment is a life-long journey, you take it one step at a time, but the moment you site on the side of the road, that is when suddenly your luck seems to be gone, the chicks you were banging seem to be more and more difficult to deal with or even get in touch with, conflicts come into your LTRs, and you wonder why you seem to be acting so AFC all over again??? It's like being and staying in shape, any little exception is causing you to head in the wrong direction. So beware, and watch complacency with even more apprehension than you would with something like depression. First little sign, READJUST! Last year along, over 12 friends and clients made the crucial mistake to stop their growth at the time they needed the most! Yes, they found "a special girl" and thought that they were set, But even relationships need our full willingness to grow! On this planet, leave anything unattended for a while, and it will start to disintegrate! Metal will rust, furniture will gather dust...The inflation phenomenon is omnipresent, the very tools and mindset that got you the girl, wont be enough to KEEP THE GIRL! It even starts at the most basic level...The very tool and mindset that got you the phone number, wont be enough to properly use the phone number. The challenge is that you must not only be motivated by defect, meaning only interested in improving when something is terribly bad, but also step up into motivation by possibility! Some guy’s sit on their Laurels so early on, they become HAS BEENS, before they even ever reached the statue and rewards of MPUA! Deficiency motivation tends to be encountered at all levels of your game! The guy is new and totally frustrated that he's been lonely for too long, he gets a bit better, and now that he is closer than ever to greater possibilities, his drive goes down. So let's be certain that for you, it will be different, and that the better you do, which would make more sense, the more you'll do and give to get even better! SO HERE'S YOUR NINTH EXERCISE:
1. Write down when in the past, you got a little bit better, but got complacent and ended up right at the same place.
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2. Write down where in your life, you stuck with it UNTIL, and then continued even though you were good already, and became an expert (or the closest you've ever been to either one of these questions). 3. Up until now, have you been more of the Motivation by Deficiency type or Motivation by Possibility type? 4. Another of the reasons why sometimes some give up as they get closer to succeeding, is that they think that success may be too difficult to handle, at least they can fail safely; FEAR OF SUCCESS AS WE CALL IT. But the truth is that there's no such thing as fear of SUCCESS, what people fear is that they may fail at succeeding. For that, start today to affirm: “I can be successful at being successful!” Translated into pickup language..."I can do well at doing well with women..."
DAY10: SEXUAL IDENTITY! If all it took to get the women we most desire was to just want them really badly, wouldn’t then every guy be surrounded by hotties? The problem is that we tend to only get what we think we deserve! So if you want hotter, better women, you must first start to see yourself as the man these women will want. It is a long-term process that you certainly can speed up by reconditioning your sense of self. Meanwhile, here's a few questions to help you get started: Answer on a scale from zero to ten and beyond, zero being the lowest… 1. What kind of women do you most want? 2. What kind of women have you been going for? 3. Where on the 0-10 and beyond scale do you think they see you? Now unless all 3 numbers are the highest and match, then this explains why you haven't been with the women you most want. Next: 1. When you first see a woman you like, do you pay attention to her in ways that empower or limit you? Example, some guys may think, "She's so hot, she'll never want to be with me..." Others, "What's up with this girl, what is she about?" 2. Have you then until now felt sufficient to have a great time with her, or have you felt that maybe if you sufficiently tricked her, she'll go for you?
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3. HOW MUST YOU THINK OF YOURSELF, SO BEING WITH SUCH WOMEN FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU? Well your stick-to-itiveness got you all the way here, it deserves to take a moment to congratulate yourself, but as you have learned, not too long, because there’s no time to get complacent, LOL! We’ve barely begun to scratch the surface, let’s keep moving… The bonus key point I want to offer you is that when you view what most would see as “The End” as barely “The Beginning”, not only your i nteractions will go much further, your progress will also extend itself all the way into the results you truly want. As I hope you would do the same for yourself, I want to be there for you all the way, that is why, allow me to further assist you by recommending the next best steps for your progress to continue… First, be certain to take full advantage of all the FREE resources… 1. Yahoo group.
2. FREE Monday coaching call. 3. Podcast and FREE content. Then allow me to really recommend that you do all you can to work on your… a. Self-Image around women by getting the Ultimate Resource to skyrocket your self-esteem, THE FEMININE VOICE OF SEDUCTION. Affirmations for self-approval that I wrote recorded with the sweet sexy voices of female hypnotists! An absolute must! b. Ability to flow freely when interacting by getting the IMPROVISATION FOR PICKUP, Daily Conversational Workout CDs. c. Sexual deservingness by making sure you read my brand new book Same Night Sex! Get all three and more at www.SeductionCoaching.com, and come to meet me in person, at least for the Monthly event, they are just $10 and we welcome anyone regardless! Thank you for this opportunity to assist you, and take best c are of your awesome self! Vince Kelvin
[email protected] (323) 309-3219
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