The Coffee Date
Mister Seductor
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE The Right Mindset for the Job
Evocation ........ The The Purp Purpos ose e of This This Book Book .. .... .... .. What What Vour Vour Role Role Is ..... ..... Time Time to depr deprog ogra ram m .. .... .... ....
1 6 7 9
CHAPTER TWO The Essential Checklist
The The Five Five Comm Comman andm dmen ents ts…. …... The The Tool Tool Kit Kit .. .... .... .... .... .... .... .... Weapons Training ...... The The Firs Firstt Phon Phone e Call Call…… ……
15 20 21 32
CHAPTER THREE The Secrets of Her Face
Eye of the Beholder….. Scen Scentt of a Woma Woman n .. .... .. Sweet Nothings...... Smooth Talker….. I Can Use Somebody…..
42 43 45 46 48
CHAPTER FOUR If You Leave Me Now
Good Goodby bye e My Love Loverr .. .... .. The The smoo smooth th Crim Crimin inal al.. .... .... .. The The Corr Correc ectt Apol Apolog ogy… y….. .. The The Next Next Phon Phone e Call Call…. …... Reflections……
50 51 52 53 54
C h a te r 1
The Right Mindset For the Job EVOCATION
As I sat there at the table I could feel that my opportunity to ever be with this woman again was diminishing by the moment. What made it worse was that I knew all of the laborious and courageous groundwork I had put in to even arrive at this juncture in the courtship, was going to waste. There I sat stupefied across the table from this beautiful woman not knowing how to re-establish the connection she had so obviously felt when she had agreed to meet me for coffee. In the harsh light of day with no social atmosphere to assist the mood, I could intuitively feel her levels of attraction towards me were dissolving faster than the sugar cubes in my coffee. The organic connection that we had shared a couple of nights ago had now become awkward and was withering into obscurity with even sip she took. As the
meaningless small talk continued, time and my chances of ever seeing her again slipped away. She always had other plans after that coffee date...I never did see her again... A seed of anguish had been planted. It has long been fertilized with regret, confusion, and a longing to understand the social dynamic concepts that govern the connection that exists between the sexes. This longing matured into a deep understanding, which has now grown into mastery...
THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK The coffee date is the most crucial social interaction you will have with a woman. On this date she will determine whether she will ever see you again or go on a second date with you. Most courtships hang in the balance depending on the result of the coffee date. Simply put, if you get the coffee date right, she will see you again. And if you get it wrong, she won't. You might spend days or even weeks interacting with a woman before she gives you her number, but you can blow your chances totally and permanently in under twenty minutes, if you don't get this date right. Even if you've managed to get a girls number in under ten minutes, you'll still have to go through the coffee date trial before things can go any further. Women generally need to spend around eight hours with a man before they are comfortable becoming intimate with him. Most men fail to realise how to correctly utilise these eight hours. A lot of men attempt to skip the short coffee date. These men usually try to take a girl out to the movies or out for dinner on their first date with the girl. These men usually never get to see the girl again. They fail to use the secrets of time fractioning. They fail to lay the correct ground work first. They fail
because they skip the coffee date. The purpose of this book is to teach you the required skills to make you a master of the coffee date. It will teach you how to build connection throughout the date thus ensuring her levels of attraction towards you are always increasing. It will do this by exposing secrets of seduction that remain hidden from the majority of men. If your goal is to create a strong connection with the girl you desire so you can ultimately love her and keep the girl of your dreams then this book is for you. If your goal is to pick up and seduce as many women as possible in the shortest amount of time possible, then this book is also for you. It will assist you to construct the kind of relationships you desire with the women that you desire. Most men don't realise that if she is the girl of your dreams or she is just your next short term fling, the coffee date is the single most essential step to move things onward to the next stage. You won't succeed with either girl if you don't strengthen the connection on the coffee date. Both situations need to be approached in exactly the same manner yet most men believe that they can take short cuts when it comes to girl they want to have a short term fling with. This is a common mistake men make. There are no shortcuts. A relationship with any kind of girl needs to be built on honesty and mutual satisfaction. When you abide by this book's principles and have practised the techniques, you will know what to do, how to act, and what to say throughout the coffee date thus ensuring your highest chances of success with the woman you desire. This book will also teach you how to invite women on coffee dates and what steps to take after the coffee date. When I see beautiful women I feel uplifted and privileged. Information in this book is in no way shape or form intended to be degrading or derogatory to women. However, sometimes it must be told how it is, without omissions.
WHAT YOUR ROLE IS
There is no easy fix here. Like anything in life that is worthwhile, this takes a lot of work. Its work that can be disheartening and sometimes humiliating. But that's all in your point of view, which we'll also learn how to manipulate in your favour. You will not be able to seduce any woman you desire. This would be an unrealistic fantasy and no man can do this. You will however come to understand subliminal psychological seduction techniques that ensure your highest chances of succeeding with the women you desire. You will learn to become the kind of man that women are attracted to. A man that takes responsibility for the seduction process and recognises that he is in control. The kind of man that is able to improvise and adapt and roll with the natural flow of the seduction at a pace that she is comfortable with. A man that is capable of deciphering and understanding the illogical linguistic patterns women use. The kind of man that is capable of communicating with women at a deeper level. A man like you that will always have the upper hand because he took the time and effort to master social dynamic skills that lead to seduction. Before we can even learn about the intricacies of the coffee date we need to address your role regarding your entire dating game. This is because these principles need to be adopted not only throughout the coffee date, but also throughout your entire dating game. Your role is to start to take responsibility. You are responsible for the entire seduction process, not just the coffee date. Your role is to begin to abide by the following mantra, "...I am the man. I am responsible for every single detail of every single interaction, with every single woman I meet..." That's the short version and now here's the long one. You're responsible for approaching the woman and initiating conversation and keeping the conversation alive. You're responsible for directing the conversation in the right direction so it leads to seduction. And you're totally responsible for asking for her phone number. You're responsible for calling her and asking her on a date and then calling her back again when she doesn't show up. You're responsible for choosing where to take her and it's up to you to initiate the first kiss.
You're also responsible for educating yourself with regards to the correct seduction methods and dating etiquette that women will respond to, just like you are doing now... Hopefully by now you get the picture. You are the man and you must begin to start acting like one. From now on you do not expect women to do anything to make life easier for you. If something is not working during the seduction period, it is your fault. You must take the initiative and responsibility for absolutely everything. This is one way in which you will become an expert with women. In no way will you hold resentment towards women for this fact. If you do, you are behaving like something other than a man. The cold hard fact is that it is your fault if something is not going right during the seduction period and it is your responsibility to correct this. It is your fault that you do not have the sex life or relationships you desire....no one else's fault. Do not blame anyone else for this and do not leave this responsibility up to women. Surely you want control and power over this part of your life. What about women being fair and doing their share of chasing the man they want? What about women initiating things sometimes and giving men a break? They all sound like legitimate questions but women are simply not wired like that. Your role is to take responsibility for all of these things otherwise you're retarding your progress. Now it is clear to you exactly what your responsibilities are throughout your entire dating game. Imbed your mindset with these principles. Carry these principles into all of your interactions with women and carry them into the coffee date.
TIME TO REPROGRAM
It's time to get some of the misconceptions and fallacies out of your head regarding the coffee date. Generally the only advice that people seem to give you is to just be yourself. Nothing could be further from the truth. If it were true there would be no need for you to be reading this book. You
would have all the unlimited success with women you desire already. Even coffee date with a woman would be a breeze for you because you could just be yourself. But this is not the case is it. Must be yourself, isn't very good advice. Once you start to practice the techniques in this book they will slowly integrate themselves into your psyche. And when the techniques in this book become a part of the way you think and act, then you can get away with just being yourself. Try to understand it this way; it's not that you can't just be yourself...it's that you need to start showing a side and parts of yourself that you don't often show or express. Think about how often you need to behave differently in order for you to achieve something. You cannot attend a job interview wearing shorts and a T-shirt. You might feel quite comfortable doing so but the results you'll achieve will be highly affected. You must talk and act differently in front of your prospective employer. You must display your upmost professional demeanour if you wish to succeed in your interview. Do you act like this all the time and are you just being yourself...? No you don't act like this all the time. So are you manipulating or fooling your employer...? No, you are just taking the necessary steps to ensure you achieve the goal you desired. You achieved your goal by acting and behaving differently. And they ended up with a new employee. Everybody wins... Try to remember the above example of how you need to behave a certain way to achieve certain goals should you find yourself saying that the techniques in this book are just not the way I act and that it's just not me. A lot of the techniques you will be taught to perform will feel uncomfortable at first and you may not feel like your usual self, but if you stick with it, women are going to love you for it. It's also time for you to let go of the fallacy that being a nice guy on the coffee date will work for you or get you anywhere. Women sleep with certain men because those men are capable of evoking the correct emotional responses within them, not because they are nice guys. Stop worrying about being nice and begin to focus entirely on the techniques you will soon learn. This doesn't mean you can't be cultured and polite and treat women with the upmost respect. On the contrary women will
adore you for this. These will always be your standard personality traits and gorgeous women will expect nothing less. But do not make the mistake of thinking that being nice is one of the traits that will allow you successfully seduce women on coffee dates. Being nice to her on the coffee date will land you in the ‘friend category’. Nice guys supplicate to women. They think being nice will make women want them. To a woman, a nice guy appears needy and desperate. Second only to a man acting in a violent and threatening manner, a man acting needy and desperate is a woman's biggest turn off. Women want creativity, spontaneity, courage and a challenge...not supplication, desperation or neediness. Forget about being nice on the coffee date...everyone is nice anyway. Your looks don't really matter either. For a start, if she has already agreed to go on a coffee date with you, she has already shown a sign of interest. 95% of women only care about the way you are capable of making them feel. Once you learn to evoke the correct feeling in a woman she will treat you like a movie star. You see gorgeous women all the time at cafe's holding hands with what would best be described as a very average looking man. He might be average on the outside but he is obviously incredibly good at making her feel the right way on the inside. Forget about your looks because they mean very little to a woman. If most women went out with men based on their looks, most of us men would be doomed. Women are way more attracted to a man's essence and charisma, than they are to a man's looks, so forget about your looks totally. If you can make her feel right, then she’ll be with you no matter what. Do not attempt to become a woman's friend on the coffee date. Completely dispel from your mind that becoming a woman's friend will allow you to be with this woman in the future. Men get confused and misguided when it comes to this. They tend to believe that if the woman is confiding in them that there is a chance of succeeding with this woman. After all why would she be talking and confiding in me if she wasn't interested in being with me. Lots of men waste lots of time trying to seduce women this way. They think taking things slowly, befriending them and offering them advice will cause the woman to want to be with
them. Nothing is further from the truth. The more you treat her like a good friend on the coffee date, and the more you offer her advice, the further away you will he from ever being with this woman. Yes you will develop a connection, but it's of the opposing polarity of the connection that you desire. Some men think they are being her nice friend when really they are just being deceitful and hiding their true feeling towards the woman out of fear of rejection. You'll learn how to make your intentions clear and not fall into this time wasting trap. Women are flattered when a man is interested in them, not offended. Women are offended when they think you are their friend and then they find out that you are harbouring secret sexual or emotion desires about them. Acting like a woman's friend on the coffee date is a disastrous mistake. ‘Just be honest with her’ is also some poisonous advice that gets thrown around. Some men tend to think that being honest with a woman means admitting and confessing to every single thing that they have ever done wrong with a woman. They feel compelled to confess all their wrongs in the hope that the woman realises that they are just trying to be honest. This is totally unnecessary and just downright weird. They talk about their past relationships and about how and why they went wrong. This is a big mistake. From now on you will avoid discussing the subject of ex partners with your coffee dates. If she begins to talk about it, as women often do, change the subject, distract her, or do something not to get drawn into the topic of ex partners. For some reason many women like to discuss this only to find that after they have talked about it, they wished they hadn't. This will be a backwards step for you if you allow the conversation to drift down this path. Now that you know better, it's up to you to move the conversation topic away from this subject. There can be no positive outcome from this topic of conversation. Avoid it, but do not make it obvious. If you feel you must talk about it because she has brought up the subject more than once, then it's best to just remain vague about all the details. Convey that you have had no trouble with any woman and that you do not have any hang-ups when it comes to women. You have no
issues with any ex partners and things just simply didn't work out. Never discuss in any detail the history of your past relationships. Your past results do not dictate your future results. If your date continues to pressure you on the subject of your ex's you can simply say things like. "...I don't want to waste precious time with you talking about other women that mean nothing to me...when I could be talking to you about much more interesting things with you...don't you agree..." A lot of women will begin to talk about their ex partners on the coffee date. Don't let her do this. She will only be reliving negative past emotions whilst she is in your company. If you let her continue to do this she will not associate being around you as a pleasurable experience. When a woman talks about a negative subject she is also experiencing the emotions that accompany it. You don't want her experiencing those emotions whilst she is around you. You want her to experience emotions that are conducive to her feeling attraction and sexual tension, not negativity. Nice guys tend to let women talk about their past relationships in an attempt to bond with them. They end up being her emotional tampon and it gets them absolutely nowhere but into the friend category. Most women touch on the subject of ex partners briefly, but then move onto something else, so it's fine. If she continues to talk about her ex partners you're going to get nowhere fast. Try saying to her, "...hey you know what...when we're together I'd much prefer to be talking about you, than talking about him...He seems a bit boring to be honest... I think that your much more interesting to talk about, so why don't you tell me about something that makes you feel good in life..." This will usually do the trick and allows you to change the topic of conversation easily. So let's review what you've learnt. You've learn that it's not enough to just be yourself. You're really going to have to step outside some of your old boundaries and try some new things. Things that might seem a little strange at first, but like anything, the more you practice them, the better you'll become. You're going to integrate the flirting and seduction techniques that you'll learn in later chapters into your methods of
communicating with women. Flirting and being creative in a manner that allows you to seduce women will not come naturally at first. But given time and practice you'll develop a great skill that will eventually seem to come natural to you. The more natural it becomes to you, the more naturally women will be attracted to you. You'll always be yourself no matter what you do, but you must begin to show sides and parts of yourself that don't always seem to come naturally at first. Let's just say that you'll become a more advanced version of yourself. You've learnt that being a nice guy is not nearly enough to allow women to feel the necessary feelings they need to feel in order for them to be attracted to you sexually and emotionally. That being a nice guy from a woman's view point is interpreted as neediness and desperation. Being a nice guy has no real benefit when it comes to seduction. But you will always be a gentleman...there is a difference. Women want men who can be fierce, yet playful. Adventurous and romantic...but not just nice, that wont cut it. You've learnt that you don't have to look like Brad Pitt in order to have massive success with women. You've learnt that it's much more important that you're able to evoke the correct feelings within a woman for her to become immensely attracted to you. You've learnt that to go about seducing a woman on a coffee date by becoming her friend is a disastrous mistake. You'll no longer hide your true feelings and desires and will become confident enough to express them throughout the coffee date with the women you desire. You've learnt to take responsibility for your entire dating game and to stop expecting women to make life any easier for you by doing some of the work for you. You've accepted that you are entirely responsible for every detail of the seduction and you have put yourself in a position of power and control by accepting this responsibility. You don't hold any resentment towards women for your lack of success with women and you are always increasing the quality of your expert's attitude towards your responsibilities. You know to avoid discussions about ex partners as much as possible and you know what to say should the subject continue to keep
arising. You also know better than to bring up things that will not be beneficial to the seduction process just because you want to get them off your chest and be honest with her. You've learnt to leave the past alone and to focus on the present thus increasing the quality of your future.
THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS
The following commandments are crucial to acing the coffee date. Some of these commandments may seem obscure at first, but you'll find that an unsuccessful coffee date is usually due to breaking a commandment. Commandment One...Thou shalt pay careful attention to detail regarding one's appearance...
This really is basic, but is extremely essential. It's absolutely critical to be impeccably dressed to suit the situation. Although most coffee dates require casual attire it is imperative that your version of casual is dangerously smooth. It's a simple detail to dress right and it's totally necessary. Women care about the way you dress. If your dress sense borders on perfection then she'll be impressed before you even open your mouth.
Women care about the finer details. Women notice if your shoes are slightly dirty or if your watch doesn't match your shirt. Put simply, they care about style. For some men this can be hard to understand as they may view things like this as trivial, superficial and meaningless. However these same men who view style as superficial also tend to greatly appreciate women who look stunning both in appearance and dress. Is this not a slightly hypocritical attitude? Men that think of style and attention to detail as a trivial matter need to remember the feelings that they experience when they see a gorgeous stylish woman. Do women not deserve the same when they are in your company? Just because you are a man is no reason for you not to get it right when it comes to style. If you don't pay attention to detail you're only going to make things a lot harder for yourself. Not all women are style fanatics but it's highly beneficial for you to cover all your bases. Even if she's the kind of girl that doesn't focus on fashion and style, she will still appreciate a man in front of her that knows how to dress. It's important that you don't overdress for the situation either as this is seen in a woman's eyes as also not being able to dress properly. Don't make that mistake and ensure you find the happy medium. A woman once confessed to a friend of mine that she only decided to see him again because he wore high quality shoes. Strange but true...This is how obsessed some women can be when it comes to attention to detail. Knowing this, you might as well take advantage of it. No matter how advanced your game is on the inside, if you do not present yourself correctly on the outside you're making things extremely hard for yourself. Your cloths and appearance can speak louder about your character than your words. If you can become a master at dressing sharply and appropriately for any given situation then you will make your job at least easier. On the coffee date she will be more receptive towards you, more attracted to you, and she will be more at ease with you. Remember, when you are not speaking your cloths are speaking for you. What do you want yours to say about you?
Commandment Two...Thou shalt always be punctual.
So far this sounds more like a job interview than a coffee date. Try to remember that it's not important that you do everything perfectly right, it's more important that you don't do anything wrong. Being late is wrong. Women are less capable than men of waiting alone in public places. They simply do not like it. They have trouble occupying themselves and cannot get their minds off the fact that they are alone and waiting for you. You'll never impress a woman by being fashionably late to a coffee date. If she is on time and has to wait for you, she'll be experiencing stress before you even arrive, and when you do finally get there guess who's going to have to deal with it. If you're slightly late on purpose then you're just playing games with her and what's the point of that. To give yourself a false sense of importance, or to impress upon her that you don't really care about being on time. Either way it won't work for you and you'll lose ground with women if you're not on time. It's so simple so get it right. If you do run late accidently, pretend as if nothing has happened for the first thirty seconds, and then say something to her like, "...and by the way...I know something as beautiful as you shouldn't be kept waiting...my apologies for that...", and then change the subject quickly by asking her how her day was or something similar. When you have to apologize to a woman it lowers your status. When you can mix a compliment in with the apology it distracts her from the issue. It's much easier to just not be late...
Commandment Three...Thou shalt practice, practice, practice...
Throughout this book you're going to be taught techniques that help you create connection. A common reason that guys don't get the coffee date right is because they don't put in the practice to learn and memorise
these techniques. The techniques don't come naturally to most men and require practice. They require memorisation and discipline. If you don't put in the work you won't get the results. Talking romantically and hypnotically to women requires practice. This is something that you can do whilst you're alone in your car or at home. Give yourself the best chance by memorizing some of the examples in later chapters and ensure that you can recite a few of them without any mistakes. The more you practice them the more natural it will sound to her and the better they will work. To use these techniques correctly you have to feel comfortable with them. And the best way to achieve that is by practicing.
Commandment Four...Thou shalt be fully prepared for success...
When you're utilising the techniques in this book to build connection you must be prepared for anything to happen. It's possible that some women will be so swept up by the mood that they might want to become intimate with you straight after the coffee date. You need to be prepared for this. Firstly you must ensure that your car is perfectly clean. It doesn't really matter what kind of car you drive, it's just got to be clean...especially on the inside. If she decides to become intimate with you and gets inside your car and sits down next to an empty red-bull can and a cheese burger wrapper, she'll quickly lose her enthusiasm. What if she feels like another coffee that is home made especially by you. How do you think she is going to feel if your place isn't clean? Turned off, that's how she'll feel. Again these preparations are simple and can mean the difference to her ever wanting to see you again. It sounds harsh but women are very critical about things like this early on in the courtship. It's too easy to just get it right. Then all your bases are covered should the unexpected happen.
Commandment Five...Thou shalt carefully follow the time limitation...
This date is not intended so you can just hang out with her and see what happens. You're now becoming an expert with women so you no longer approach any dates without structure and purpose. The real purpose of this date is to strengthen your connection with her to ensure that she is willing to see you again for a second date. A crucially important factor of this coffee date is to keep it short and limited to a period of 20 to 40 minutes. There are several reasons behind this. Firstly, you do not know enough about this woman to socialize with her for any longer than 40 minutes. Secondly, you're following a carefully created plan to ensure that you succeed with this woman. Remember that 99% of women need to spend around 8 hours with you before they are comfortable in becoming intimate with you. Breaking these 8 hours into a period of 40 minutes and then a period of 7 hours ensures your highest chances of success. Let's look at the reasons behind this. Women can become easily bored with you. If you spend longer than 40 minutes with her on the initial coffee date the connection your building will level out and won't continue to grow. This is because it can only reach a certain level before the next natural stage is to start kissing and touching her. If this doesn't happen she’ll become bored and frustrated. But the trouble is that she’ll also have a problem with letting that happen because you haven't spent anywhere near 8 hours with her. So although you might have created a great connection with her and she is feeling like moving to the next stages with you...she won't...and she'll blame you for it. Because in her mind she'll be saying. The connection was there but nothing happened...He must be too shy, or it just wasn't meant to be..." When in reality it's just that 99% of women won't let anything happen before the 8 hour mark. Only spending 40 minutes with her allows you to build a strong enough connection for her to want to see you again and it also ensures that she will not become bored with you. In her mind there is no chance that anything could happen in 40 minutes yet she will still be interested
enough in you to want to see you again. Does this sound true to you? Remember that this has been thoroughly tested. On many occasions I have created a great connection and have been persuaded into staying longer with her. On a consistent basis I have found that when I have stayed longer, there wasn't enough mystery left between us for her to want to see me again. On every single occasion that I have kept the coffee date short and established a good connection, the women has accepted the invitation to go on a second date. You must leave her wanting more. Be forewarned that it will be hard to cut the coffee date short if you're really connecting with her. But if you don't she will become frustrated because it's only natural for her to feel this way, and you'll also kill all the mystery because you've stayed too long. Ensure you tell her beforehand that you have a time limitation as this also takes pressure off the whole interaction. She won't feel like she has to be stuck with you for hours if things don't work out. She'll also be more inclined to accept you invitation knowing that you've told her it's only a short (and hopefully sweet) coffee date. We'll cover how to invite her on this date soon... Each commandment has a value of 20% as there are five of them totalling 100%. If you break one of them then you diminish your chances of succeeding with her by 20%. You might just get away with breaking one...but if you break two of them and diminish your chances by 40%, the results for you will be obvious. They're pretty simple to follow so ensure that you give yourself a 100% chance.
THE TOOL KIT
You can connect with women all you want about common likes and dislikes, but it won't be taking you in the direction you want to go with them. The purpose of the coffee date is to create a connection with the women you desire so they're interested in you, attracted to you, and inclined to see you again. This connection must be founded on attraction and sexual tension...not common interests and friendship. The only way to create such a connection is to flirt with her.
Flirtation allows you to play and have fun with women. It helps to build rapport and trust. When you flirt with a woman it allows her to experience what you would be like as a lover or a boyfriend. In the process of you flirting with her she will be subconsciously experiencing how creative you are, and how much fun you might be whilst in a relationship with you. If you cannot have fun with her whilst flirting on the coffee date then how can she possibly have fun with you in a relationship? This is why flirting with a woman correctly is very important. You must acknowledge this and give it the attention and practice it requires for you to become good at it. This may seem like an extremely awkward and somewhat painful process for some men...but...like anything you practice; you will become better at it. The problem is that most men do not find this fun because they have negative emotions attached to the process. Some of these typical emotions are rejection and humiliation, yet we can categorise all of them under the simple heading of "fear". Try to reduce the pressure of the interaction for yourself. A good technique to help you achieve a state of detachment is to pretend that you already have a girlfriend. Concentrate, and imagine how gorgeous she is...and how does it make you feel knowing she's already at home waiting for you. But before you go home to see her...go and have a fun and flirtatious coffee date with this woman because your girlfriend insists that you do... This method is just telling your psyche that you already have what you want and there is no pressure for it to work out, therefore you can have some fun. So let's learn about the different ways we can flirt.
WEAPONS TRAINING
There's about four really good ways to flirt with women and they're all quiet different from each other. They all work well in their own right but when combined they become a powerful seduction weapon. When you use only one style it tends to get a bit repetitive for the woman and she
begins to see through it. The trick is to master each one so you can create a combination that suits you. Then you can adjust that combination depending on your mood or what kind of girl you're with. The first flirting technique you're going to learn is a technique that has been coined ‘cocky and funny’ and was created by an old school seduction artist named David DeAngelo. Basically it involves you talking and acting in such a confident and cocky manner that it becomes funny. You turn on this alter ego unpredictably when it suits you so you can play with her and make her laugh, which in turn builds connection. It's powerful because it also slightly shocks some women and they don't know what to make of it sometimes. This seduces women because they are not use to this kind of challenge. Women are usually use to being in control and having the power over men where as when guys use the ‘cocky and funny’ technique to flirt with women they take all that power back again...and this can be a big turn on for women. You definitely don't leave this alter ego on all the time when you're with her. but it is always lurking in the background waiting for an opportunity to come out. It's a very tongue-in-cheek kind of confidence and this is what makes it funny too. It has more to do with the things you can say rather than the way you behave but it can also seep into your behaviour when it's called for. The reason women find this technique of flirting seductive is because most women don't meet guys that are capable of acting this way. This does take some skill to master and it would do you a world of good to watch some of the examples that can be found on 'YouTube' by simply typing in 'cocky and funny'. Women are sometimes shocked by some of the things that can come out of your mouth whilst using this technique but they are also turned on by it. They don't know what to quiet make of it and that's why they like it. To some degree it's virtually the opposite of a nice-guy. This is why women like it. Whilst using it it's all about the correct dosage and timing.
Just imagine you have 17 million dollars in your bank account and you already have five girlfriends and you know that all women want a piece of you. This is the mindset that a ’cocky and funny’ master has. Let's look at some examples that you could possible use on the coffee date... You take a sip of your coffee and as you're putting it down you sigh and say, "...I've got to be honest with you... I am getting a bit tired of girls trying seduce me on coffee dates...I just feel like trying something different for a change,... I know, let's pretend that I'm really interested in you...Now you try to hide your desire for me and let me try to work some of my magic on you..." (Perhaps reach across the table and pick up one of her hands and say, 'my you certainly do have lovely nails', as you gently caress her hand)... Then you say, "...Hey this is great...you're really good at this...I should reward your efforts for not pressuring me and just listening to me...I might even be tempted to let you kiss me if you keep this up..." Alter saying something like that to her you'd just let the statement simmer momentarily and then just totally change the topic by asking her a question about something. You'd only want to use this technique about two or three times throughout the 40 minutes you spend with her. Another example might be if you have to get up out of your chair through the coffee date for some reason. You act slightly shocked as you say to her, "...did you just look at my ass..!?" Then she'll probably giggle a bit and smile...and then you say, "...and now you're thinking about it too..." The mood has to be right for you to use this kind of flirtation but when it is, it can be powerful stuff. Another example is if she accidently spills something or fumbles with something or does anything clumsy at all you can just say to her, "...careful, because your ruining your chances with me..." Or perhaps if she starts to talk about something you don't want to talk about, especially something like your ex girlfriend or her ex you can say to her, "...Oh my, you were doing so well before you brought that subject up...you just lost a couple of points there..." Remember the key to using
this technique is to sense when the mood is right and like anything that's funny it's also the timing. It's important whilst using this technique to maintain a slight degree of seriousness about you. This is what leaves her guessing as some women aren't sure how to take it. If a woman just looks at you with a serious look on her face after you say something like the above examples it's important that you don't just fold your act by saying, "...Oh come on I was only joking..." This only lets her know that she has the power over you and this will kill attraction. If you do get one of those "I can't believe you just said that" looks off her, just stay composed and don't crack by apologising to her. It's actually best if you follow one of those looks with another ‘cocky and funny’ comment like, "hey don't be too hard on yourself...it is ok to look..." And remember the mindset...All women want you anyway...so you have no problems...
The second technique that you can use to flirt on the coffee date is called, 'the role play'. This technique capitalizes on your imagination by playing a pretend game with her at least once on the date. You can get your cue off something she does or something she says. Let it come to you spontaneously. Always play this game using a positive situation and never a negative one. You don't want to play the part of the parking inspector who just gave her a ticket. For example, as she is taking a sip of coffee you could say. "...so what's your favourite kind of coffee...?" After she tells you what it is you can say. "...Ok let's play a game then...we've set the scene here in the cafe and the hidden cameras are over there. You only get one take at this. You've got to take the most seductive sip of coffee imaginable to try and sell your brand of coffee and make all others desire and crave what you have. This could turn us both into stars...so it's got to be one sexy sip. So your cue to take the perfect sip is when I put my cup down, but I'm not going to put it down straight away because this is thirty second commercial and we've both got to act a bit too before you take this sip. Are you ready...? Ok here goes..."
This allows the two of you to break away from reality and have fun together. It allows her to show you and experience her sexy side with you. You've got to create the right mood to bring her out of her shell and the best way for that to happen is for you to be in the right mood. When you've both finished this little connection building role play you should give her a compliment for being a good sport. You can try something like. "...You know you were actually pretty good at that..." and then just continue to converse with her about something else. For example, "...So tell me what else you're pretty good at...?"
Another type of flirting technique that works extremely well on coffee dates is the use of seductive hypnotic descriptions. By creating conversational topics that lend themselves to this concept you are able to use seductive hypnotic descriptions which in turn allow the woman to feel and experience emotions conducive to attraction. Remember it's all about how you can make a woman feel and there's nothing else to it. Seductive hypnotic descriptions work because you're using every day words that have sexual connotations attached to them. Words such as ‘wet’ and ‘hard’, or ‘soft’ and ‘sensitive’. Using these words within a sentence that is constructed around a romantic topic whist speaking in a seductive tone can be a powerful seduction technique. The way to use this technique is to talk about a subject that lends itself to the possibility of you describing how you feel or think about something. Now all of the following subjects are good conversation topics in their own right but they all also lend themselves to massive doses of seductive hypnotic descriptions. Her first kiss...? Her favourite holiday destination and why...? Things that make her feel good...? Her favourite animal and her favourite food...? What her idea of romance is...? The most exciting thing she has ever done....?
Let's run through an example from one of the above topics. It's best to ask her questions like the ones above whilst you are already talking about a subject that is somewhat related to the question you're going to ask her. It will sound strange to her if you just come out and ask her, "Describe your first kiss for me" Create a topic of conversation that will easily lead into the question. Perhaps you can begin by asking her about where she went to school. Then you can easily direct the topic onto other questions that will allow you to use this technique. You could then ask her if she remembers her very first boyfriend. And from there it becomes easy and natural to ask her a question like, "...so do you still remember what your first real kiss was like...?" These kinds of questions allow her to relive the exciting romantic feelings she experienced while she is describing her first kiss to you. As she is telling you about her first kiss she will to some degree be experiencing those feelings whilst she is in your company. And the more she experiences those emotions around you, the more she'll become attracted to you. Questions like these also give you a great opportunity to use 'seductive hypnotic descriptions' to tell her about your first kiss. Often women will reciprocate the question back to you and this is where you would use seductive hypnotic descriptions (SHD's). However, after you've asked her about her very first kiss it doesn't really matter what answer she gives you nor does it matter if she doesn't ask you the question in return. You can start your SHD's by saying, "...Oh...I definitely remember my first kiss..." and then continue into your SHD. This statement alone would play on her curiosity and she would probably ask you to tell her all about it anyway. Let's look at an example of a seductive hypnotic description. "...I definitely remember my first kiss...it was actually in the rain...we took shelter under this big tree and because everywhere was so wet it made it hard to stay dry so we leant up against the tree...We'd only come there to kiss ....so we both knew it was going to happen ...I didn't expect her lips to be so soft , and I had to kiss her so gently ....As we kissed big droplets of water fell onto our faces from the wet leaves above....The kiss
warmed up my entire body and I felt warm even though I was wet ...We ran back to where we were supposed to be and it felt like we both had a little secret to keep..." Now the words in italic in the above description can all be associated with sexuality. Although they are not being used in that context, it's the innuendo and connotations attached to them that give SHD's their power. (Try just reading the words in italic only) By using these words in sentences that are slightly confusing, you are bypassing her conscious filters and these words are going straight through to her subconscious. This is how the hypnotic factor of the equation functions. The words in italic can also be ever so slightly and subtly emphasised using a seductive tone. Even if you just spoke the above example in a normal tone it would still work wonders. The injection of a seductive tone has to be very subtle and not at all obvious. Another way to colour it with a seductive tone is to place a subtle emphasis on the spaces in between the sentences. To allow them to be...just slightly... longer than you would in a normal sentence. This colours the description with a seductive hypnotic rhythm. Try to use two seductive hypnotic descriptions throughout your coffee date and don't make them any longer than the example above. Make sure you practice and rehearse them alone so when it comes time for you to use them they come naturally for you. The more natural and proficient you become at using them, the better they'll work for you.
The fourth technique is a technique coined ‘push and pull’. This technique lends itself to the coffee date because it's easy to master and works well in any situation. As the name suggests it involves emotionally pushing the woman away and then pulling her back in again. It also works in the reverse order. Women like to receive validation from men. ‘Push and pull’ involves validating a woman via a compliment or statement and then taking that validation away again via an opposing statement or negative observation. It works well because it takes you out of the nice guy category when you make a negative observation about a woman. It
challenges her and leaves her guessing as to where she stands with you. When you get this technique right you can virtually have women tagging for your approval. And when they tag, you can give it to them only for a moment...and then you'll take it away again... It is somewhat related to the 'cocky and funny' technique and it will work best for you if you use it whilst adopting the 'cocky and funny' mindset (All women want me). This technique has to be somewhat toned down a notch on the coffee date and it cannot be the only flirting technique you use by any means. Only use it sparingly and don't use it more than twice throughout the date. She has already shown some genuine interest in you by agreeing to go on this date with you so 'push and pull' on the coffee date is best used in a light hearted manner. And remember you always have to keep things playful because it has to be fun for her. Let's take a look at some classic examples of 'push and pull' that you could use on the coffee date. You; "...Can you pass the sugar please sugar..."
(Pull)
Her; ...Passes you the sugar as she is smiling... You; "...I hope you're not going to do everything I tell you to..." (Push) Her; ...Looks bemused...and says. "...but...umm...I thought...umm..." You; "...But then again, I could have some fun with that..."(Pull)
Example 2: Her; "...So what is it exactly that you do for work again...?" You; ...Pretending to yawn and then saying. "...You're not just going to ask me boring questions like that are you...?" (Push) Her; "...Um no...What do you mean...?" You; "...With looks like yours you probably get away with a lot but you're going to have to be a little more creative than that if we want to have some fun here..." (Pull then push)
You; "...Ask me something daring and spontaneous so we can have some fun...I know you've got it in you..." (Pull) Her; "...Um...well ok...what is it that...etc...? From there the conversation could go anywhere... The most important factor of this kind of flirtation is the right mind set. Don't doubt yourself. The more you believe in yourself...the more fun she'll have with it. Wait until you're in a playful mood before you use it and it will work much better for you. Remember you are teasing her to a degree whilst using this technique so you need to find that fine line which keeps everything playful. If you cross over that line she'll think you're a jerk. And if you don't go close enough to the line, she'll think you're a wimp. Just use your intuition to stay as close to the line as possible and you'll get the best results.
The final flirtation technique that can be adopted on the coffee date is called the 'romancer'. This technique is founded upon the correct topics of conversation whilst ensuring the conversation itself has the correct dynamics. The 'romancer' works because you always find yourself talking about subjects conducive to creating attraction and connection. It's simply talking about subjects that are romantic in nature. Whenever people talk about a particular subject they experience the associated emotions relative to the subject matter. When the topic of conversation is about something romantic in nature it will cause the woman to experience romantic feelings. When she experiences romantic feelings around you...it is natural for her to feel a romantic connection to you. The golden rule when using the 'romancer' technique is to ensure that before you ask any woman a question, you must have your answer to the same question ready to go. Should she ask you the same question in return, which she probably will, you'll always have the advantage of knowing what your reply will be. This is the secret of the 'romancer'
technique. This technique requires you to rehearse and recite the optimum responses to your own romantic questions. This is a lot easier than it sounds because you have time on your side. You simply think of a few romantic questions to ask her and you spend your time writing out replies to those very same questions. Once you are completely happy with your response to the question you memorise and rehearse it until it becomes second nature. Movie stars talk smooth because they do their homework and remember their lines...not because they make stuff up on the spot. Let's take a look at some questions you might ask her and some rehearsed replies that you could respond with. "...So tell me...what's your idea of romance Kathy...?" After she responds to the question and then asks you the same question back, the 'romancer' would respond with something similar to; "...Hmm...I'd say...it's the simple things...like suddenly realising the beauty in a curl of your lover's hair....or...slowly feeding your lover chocolate while you watch the soft flame of a candle dance in her eyes...or maybe...walking together in the moonlight on the beach...perhaps...sharing a hot chocolate together while you watch the sunrise...or maybe...going for a bush walk and picking her a wild rose...I guess it depends what on what kind of mood I'm in and how creative I'm feeling..." As the ‘romancer’ flawlessly recites something similar to this example with a degree of perfection that would make a movie star envious, the woman can't help but feel romantic emotions as she is hearing these ideas. For that brief moment in time she experiences romantic feelings whilst she is in your presence thus enhancing the romantic connection between the two of you. Let's try another example... "...So what would your fantasy holiday consist of Kathy...?" Now she might or might not reply to this question and either way it doesn't matter as it will still leave an opportunity for you to describe to her your idea of a fantasy holiday. She'll describe to you what her version of a fantasy holiday is and then ask you the same question back or shell
say she hadn't really thought about it and ask you what your idea of a fantasy holiday is. Either way it will give you an opportunity to use your carefully rehearsed answer to evoke romantic feelings within her. The 'romancer' would reply to the question with something similar to... "...I suppose it depends on climate...If it was hot I'd have to say that relaxing in a hammock next to the ocean whilst sipping on a tropical cocktail as the cool ocean breeze washes over me sounds enticing...and just being able to get up and dive into the turquoise water somewhere in the Caribbean would have to be my hot weather fantasy...hmm...and let's see...a winter fantasy...for me, that would be watching the sunrise over a snow covered mountain through the window as your still curled up in bed with the sound of the fireplace crackling in the background and the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen...and then having a nice warm breakfast and heading out to have some fun in the powdered snow...that would definitely do it for me..." As with the first example, whilst you're reciting an answer like this to her it allows her to experience all of the associated feelings related to your description. It is causing her to feel good in your presence. It's making her think about experiencing those things and this in turn is causing her to experience emotions that are conducive to enhancing the strength of your connection with her. All of these flirting techniques can work wonders for you on the coffee date. They can all be practiced in your own time so you really have no excuses for not getting them right. If any of the techniques don't sound right for you remember that we've already discussed that you're going to have to show a different side of yourself to use some of these techniques. The more you practice them the more you'll be able to use them naturally and effortlessly. When you combine all of these techniques together using each one as the opportunity or mood arises...your success will be assured...
THE FIRST PHONE CALL
This coffee date guide book wouldn't be complete without covering the guidelines for the actual invitation to the coffee date. After all, you have to call her to invite her out. After she has given you her number, the only reason you should be calling her is to ask her out. Never call a woman just to chat. During these very early stages of the courtship it is crucial that you follow the plan and the plan doesn't include calling her up for small talk. It involves calling her for the specific purpose of inviting her out for coffee. Now you've gone through the work of getting her number so it's crucial here that you don't mess it up with this first phone call. Although you've had to establish a connection with her in order to get her number, no matter how good that connection was, the dynamics of this first phone call are going to be different. The connection that you established in order to get her number has long gone, so this first phone call has got to be right. And yes, it has to be a phone call. The majority of women when surveyed admitted that they prefer a man to call them, rather than text them. It shows women you're man enough to call them, rather than tread around the edges with text messages. Text messages can sometimes confuse the issue as she may not get your sense of humour and texts fail to convey emotion which is what women are all about. However most women will just think you haven't got the courage to call them if you text them first. Also, texting her is a risky approach as she may not reply to it, and any messages you send after she hasn't replied will cause you to come across as needy or desperate. Texting her usually only works if she has initiated the first contact via sending you a text message. Then its fine then to text her back. But women will also text you first as a means of getting you to call them. It's fine to respond to a couple of texts but you really need to call her to set up the coffee date. Don't get caught up in texting marathons with her as this will be too much hard work for you in the end, and it will also take away from the mystery and anticipation of meeting you again. You’ll end
up having to constantly work at coming up with witty and interesting replies to all of her little messages and you're breaking the rule of 'minimum contact before the second date". This minimum contact rule is founded upon the principle that the more you say to a woman before the second date, the more likely you are to blow your chances with her. Knowing this, let's get back to the first phone call. There is no right time to call her. A lot has been said about this, but ultimately, every girl is different. While one girl might experience exciting anticipation as she waits for your call for a few days, another girl might just think you're a wimp for not calling her sooner and an ass for making her wait. There is no perfect time to call her. In saying that, no one likes talking to voice mail so ideally you might want to call her after 5.30 so she's not at work and she can actually take the call. But remember, the best time to call her is when you feel good, and you're in a confident mood. A well left voice message asking her out somewhere is still better than a bumbling phone call, so make sure you're in the right mood for this. Now let's lay out the guide lines for this first call. Do not call her from a private number. A lot of women do not answer phone calls from a private number. If she doesn't answer your first call and you call her later again on a private number, it's going to start freaking her out. Have the decency to reveal your number to her. Most women wouldn't give you their number if they didn't want you to call them. She is also more likely to accept the call from you even if she doesn't recognize the number. Now this first phone call is going to be fully rehearsed by you. The reasons you need to rehearse this phone call is because if it rings and ends up going to her voice mail, you're still going to leave a message asking her out. Now how many guys have the courage to do this...? Gorgeous women have lots of offers but this will really put you a cut above the rest if you can leave a well spoken message inviting her out for coffee. Instinctively most guys would hang up if they called a girl for the first time and it went to voice mail. But not you... Because you're on your way to becoming an expert with women, this is one facet of the seduction game that you're going to master. It's simply a matter of writing out exactly what you're going to say and
rehearsing it for a day, just like an actor rehearses his lines. If you don't do your homework here, it can fall apart, so it's definitely well worth it. You're trying to become familiar with leaving a message that you wouldn't normally leave, so there is no shame in practicing this until you get it right. It's a shame however to get a girls number and blow it because you didn't practice this simple art...and yes you're going to turn it into an art form. When you show a woman you have the courage to ask her out via voice mail it leaves her with a memento, and she will definitely listen to the message a few times and the likelihood of her calling you back is far greater than that of a missed call on her phone, Let’s look at the alternative of not leaving a message. If you hang up when it goes to voice mail the first time you call and she doesn't return your missed call, you're going to have to call her again. Wait at least one day before you call her back as you don't want to leave two missed calls on her phone in the same day. If she doesn't answer again that's two missed calls from your number on her phone. Now if you called again the following day that would be three missed calls on her phone.... sounds desperate, and a tad creepy. Not good. It's much better just to leave a message the first time you call if she doesn't answer her phone. A simple message something like this will do you wonders... "Hi Stacey, its Steve... we met at the ice rink on Saturday... I was calling to ask you out for a coffee this Thursday night... I know this cool little cafe where they serve great coffee...and I'd love to get to know you a bit better over a coffee...I'm free around seven on Thursday so give me a call back and let me know if that's good for you. Ok, hear from you soon...bye" It's short, but not too short. If you seriously rehearsed this message you could really inject some subliminal tonal seduction into it. After you read through it 50 times you could make it your own and have it absolutely perfected. It also contains the word love in it, and women adore that word. There is no emphasis on that word, but it is still covertly inserted into the message. It is also seeded with the gentle subliminal expectation that she will call you back. (Ok, hear from you soon...bye)
These gentle subliminal expectations can be very powerful psychological tools when used correctly. But remember: some women may be very interested in a man and yet even after the man has called and left a message, they will not respond to it. They sometimes get too busy, or they forget, or they just can’t be bothered sometimes. This may sound strange but remember they are wired different to men. Just because she doesn't call back doesn't mean she isn't interested. That's why you're going to adopt a three strike call policy. The important thing to remember is; do not take this dating game personally. If you do, it will hinder your form and create resentment within you. You're a smooth operator...not a guy who holds grudges against women that don't call back. You want to call the girl at least two days before you plan to meet as this gives her an extra day to get around to calling you or texting you back. So you'd want to call her on Tuesday evening if you want to meet her on Thursday evening. That way if she hasn't called you back by midday on Thursday you can give her another call back mid afternoon on Thursday. If she doesn't answer again and it goes to voice mail, you guessed it; you're going to leave her another perfect message. And here's how your second message is going to play out. "...Hi Stacey, its Steve...I'd really like to take you out for a coffee this evening and get to know you a little better.... I think you'd look cute with cappuccino froth on your nose... I'm free around seven so it'd be great to hear from you so we could meet up tonight. Ok, hear from you soon Stace...bye..." Now you'll notice in this message that there is no referral to the first message that you left her. If you did add something into the second message like. "I left you a message on Tuesday", you can come across as negative and you sound like a complainer. She knows that you left her a message on Tuesday; she doesn't need to be reminded of it. It would also carry the presupposition that she was meant to respond to that message. So forget about reminding her that you've already left her a message as there is nothing to gain from that. The fact that you don't remind her about it shows her that you're a man who is easy going and not clingy or needy. It shows her you're a man that doesn't get hung up on little
things. This will be refreshing for her. It will also increase the chances of her calling you back despite the fact that she didn't return your first message. This second message contains a compliment which also shows her that you couldn't care less that she didn't return the first message. The message doesn't contain the word love in it again as this would over use the word. It still contains a subliminal expectation that she is going to call you back and it also uses a shortened version of her name which subliminally builds comfort and trust. Don't get lazy and forget to rehearse this message thoroughly. Any words you mispronounce or any time you trip up in a sentence will tend to come across as you lacking self confidence, so make sure you do your homework again. If you do trip up, just ignore it or laugh at yourself, don't take it seriously, and keep going. Now while we're talking about messages let's assume that she hasn't responded to the last two messages you've left her and Thursday night has come and gone. Wait at least a day and call her again. If she answers, don't make a big deal about the fact that she hasn't returned any of your messages. Just proceed to converse with her as you'll learn to do so in the upcoming paragraphs, and forget about her failing to return your messages the first two times. Remember your job is to date her and make her feel good, not make her wrong and feel bad. However if this third phone call goes to voice mail again it's best to leave a message like this for her;... "Hi Stacey,...its Steve. I felt some chemistry with you last Saturday when we met...so that's why I asked for your number. I was hoping to take you out on Thursday but you haven't responded to any of the messages I've left you,...so this is the last time I'm going to call you....because I don't want to bother you if you're not interested.... If you'd like to call me back and chat that'd be great....but if you don't,... I won't call you anymore....I hope to hear from you soon....and if I don't....it was nice to meet you Stacey....bye. Again, make sure you thoroughly rehearse the message so it comes across natural. Use a polite tone throughout the entire message. You'd be surprised how many girls will call you back after you leave this message. It shows your interested because it's the third message you've left her and it also tells her that it's the last time you're going to call her. Some
women love men who don't give up and they will only be flattered by your persistence. It also lets them know that you're no longer available should they fail to call you back again. You're not making her wrong throughout the message; you're just clearly and politely stating that you won't call her anymore. Once some women know this, you're value will go up and they will be inclined to call you. But, do not call her again. There is no need for you to chase women who are clearly not interested....move on and don't take it personally. For all you know she might have started seeing her ex boyfriend again....it's not your problem. Now let's learn how to handle the first call when she does answer the call. Firstly you must ensure that you have a definite destination in mind of where you're going to invite her for coffee, and a backup plan in place should she object to a particular destination for some reason. This is essential so that you do not come across as unsure of yourself when you're asking her to meet you at a particular destination. You need to have specific coffee shop in mind and a reason for choosing the destination. And on top of that you need to have a back up shop too in case she has an objection regarding your first suggestion. This way, no matter what happens you have two destinations in mind, and reasons for choosing both. No matter what her objection is, you'll sound smooth and unshaken when it comes to handling her objection. Some women will even object to your first suggestion just to see how you handle their objection and to gain a sense of control over the conversation. But because you have a backup plan you'll pass their little tests with flying colours. You'll also want to rehearse explaining to her the directions on how to get there. Women's brains are wired different to men's and they prefer visual directions as opposed to logical directions using street names and distances. For instance, if you say something like the following sentence you'll leave the average woman totally bemused. "After you turn onto Clarke Street just keep going for about 200m and then turn left into Jones Street and you'll see the coffee shop about a 100m down on the left."
Women respond much better to directions using visual landmarks as reference points. Instead try;... "After you turn onto Clarke Street, that's the street with Mc Donald's on the corner, you keep going down it until you see a service station on the left. Turn left after that service station and the coffee shop is halfway down the street on the left just after a 7/11 store." It seems like a small detail but it's just another little trick that will help build more connection, rather than lessen it by confusing her. Once most women hear street names and distances in metres they will just switch off. This way, it will seem to her like your speaking her language. It's an absolute must to keep a pen and paper by the phone and write down the names of any of her friends, family members, or pets that she might tell you about in this first call. Do not underestimate the importance of this. When you talk to her the next time you meet her and ask her a question regarding how things are with a particular friend etc, you'll be using their correct name. This helps her to build trust with you and will generate massive levels of attraction towards you. Most guys would've forgotten her pets name by the time they meet up with her two days later...but not you. It will increase your connection during your first meeting with her when you ask her questions regarding her friends whilst also addressing them with the correct name. For this reason, take down as many details as you can during this first call. This first call is going to be as short as possible. You will not allow yourself to get stuck on the phone with her no matter how well you are connecting with her. This is exactly how women will get bored with you and loose interest. You don't know enough about her to chat to her on the phone for extended periods and it will backfire on you. Make the call short and sweet. This will also leave her wanting more. Make sure you're the one who ends the phone call. You do not want to talk about the weather or your work, and you do not want to talk to her about meaningless details like where her brother lives. You want to talk to her about feelings and use descriptive stories to convey emotions. Of course you're going to get caught up in some meaningless small talk about details, but steer the conversation away from this and attempt to build more
attraction via playful flirting. When you do ask her to meet you for coffee, make sure you tell her where and when you want to take her so she can respond with a direct answer. Otherwise she might respond with "...so where exactly did you want to take me...and what time...?" When she responds with this, it forces you to explain yourself more before she gives you an answer and it ruins the conversational dynamics. (live her all the information she needs within the question and your likely to get a direct answer. If you don't...it seems like you have to come up with more reasons and details in order for her to say yes to you, and this lowers your value. You don't want to be on the phone with her for any more than seven minutes and you want to ask her out for coffee at about the five minute mark. After she says yes make sure you chat to her for at least another two minutes before you hang up. Now try the following to ensure the conversation flows smoothly. Ask her how her day has been Ask her if she is doing anything exciting tonight Ask her how the rest of her day/night was after you got her number Ask her out for a coffee Ask her about her favourite hobby or what she has been doing for fun lately. Now for all of the above conversation points make sure you have an answer to all of your own questions. This can be a mistake that the average guy makes. He asks her really cool easy going questions and when she answers him and then asks the same questions back, he just freezes up and says, "...oh... my day was good too thanks..." Prepare an interesting answer to all of your own questions and rehearse your answers too. You only have to rehearse your answers for so long before you get them perfected with a bit of humour and seduction thrown in. You can then use the format for all women you ring for the first time. This will work on all girls so you've got no excuse to take a bit of time and come up with some interesting answers. As for actually asking her out you can try something like; "...the reason I've called
you is to ask you out for a coffee this Thursday evening at a nice little chocolate cafe in the city....would you be interested in that...?" If she say’s 'yes', then ask her something like, "is seven o'clock on Thursday evening good for you". If she says yes then you can just say something like, "Ok that's great,...I'll text you the address of the cafe on Thursday afternoon and we'll go from there and by the way,...I forgot to ask you,...what exactly is it you do for fun...etc..." Asking her another question at the end of the invite tends to take away some of the awkwardness and tension from the conversation. If she's undecided and begins to moan and groan about it you can just gently coax her into it with something like "Hey it's just coffee, I'm not going to ask you to marry me....it’ll be fun, I promise". Or you could try, "...I know your acting...and you know you want to go...it'll be fun"....Or...."Come on...you sound like your scared to have a little bit of fun,...give it a go". These gentle pushes are sometimes all a women needs to agree to go on a coffee date with you. So do them very light heartedly and playfully, and it can work wonders in your favour. If she says "No" it just means you've got to remain patient and gently continue with your seduction techniques. If you can continue to flirt with her on the phone and behave as if nothing has happened then this will greatly increase your chances the next time you ask her. You can also play her "no" down with something like, "...I know...you probably think I'm too much fun for you...that's ok...not all women can handle me", then immediately divert the conversation back onto a lighter topic. This simply taunts her with reverse psychology and also shows her that when she says 'no' to you it doesn't really bother you. Not many guys are capable of remaining this detached to their outcome. She might even change her mind just to prove you wrong and prove to herself that she can handle you. Either way, it's better than just accepting her 'no' as if it is final and unchangeable. Don't get hung up on her no', because if you continue the phone call as if nothing happened and continue to keep the conversation light hearted and flirtatious, then you can ask her again whilst she's
laughing with something like, "...see your having fun now. this would be even more entertaining in person while we're sharing a coffee...I'm beginning to think you're just too shy..." She may at this moment just surrender to the invite and say. "well ok then" The important thing is to not give up and don't take her rejections personally. This will only make you more attractive in her eves. If her 'no' is very firm and cold and your intuition tells you you've got no chance at all, you can just reply with, "hey, there was no harm in asking, I just thought you'd be open to the idea of us getting to know each other a bit better..." Then change the subject and get off the phone. There is no reason why you need to waste time with women who are rude and cold. It's best to go into this first phone call with the mindset that you are giving something to her, and you don't want to get something from her. This is the truth in reality, as you only want to show her a good time and allow her to experience good feelings. When you call her with this mindset it helps reduce any nervousness because what's there to be nervous of if you're just ringing a girl up to offer her a good time... you have nothing to lose... If this sounds like a lot to take in than consider the alternative of just blindly calling her up without these guide lines and think about how things might turn out for you. If you follow these guide lines throughout the first call you will increase your chances of her being more receptive and accepting your invitations…
You need to strengthen your connection with her on this coffee date so she is compelled to see you again. We're going to run through a connection strengthening checklist to ensure you don't miss easy opportunities to achieve this outcome. It helps if we start at the very top of her head and work down so you can easily remember all the little tricks that help to build connection. Let's start with everything to do with her eyes. During the half hour you spend with her you must ensure that you gaze into her eyes for more than three seconds on two occasions. Upon breaking this gaze ensure that you do not look down, rather just move your eyes to something that is beside her at the same height as her eyes and then look back in to her eyes again briefly. Looking down to break an eye gaze denotes shame, fear and embarrassment. Don't do it. As you're looking into her eyes think about how much she already loves you as to help you sustain the correct kind of eye contact. You won't have a problem maintaining eye contact with her if you focus your thoughts on how much she loves you and is dying to kiss you. At some stage during the date you also need to look at her body deliberately whist she is watching your eyes. Women need to know that you find them attractive. The problem occurs when guys do this the wrong way. Your allowed to look, you've just got to do it right. In fact if you don't look, she'll start to get worried. Occasionally when natural eye contact occurs between you, allow your gaze to drift down her neckline and onto her shoulders or upper arms. This gaze should not exceed two
seconds in length. After you have gazed at her body, ensure you look straight back into her eyes again briefly. This shows her that you're not fearful or ashamed to look at her. This says to her, "I've noticed that you have quiet an attractive body and it's a pleasure to look at. I'm not ashamed to look at your body as I know you don't mind me admiring you the right way" This doesn't give you permission to stare at her breasts but if you accidently find yourself doing this just return your gaze to her eyes whilst thinking about how much effort she has put in to look good for you. Most guys look at a woman's body and then look away from her avoiding eye contact. This says to her, "1 just looked at your body and I'm ashamed of myself and I don't have the courage to look you in the eye again after doing it." Just think about how she's been working out to get herself in shape just for you. This will give you the correct mindset to look at her body appropriately. And then of course you'll return your gaze into her eyes again before looking away from her. There's also a little trick you can do if you catch her staring at you. Just give her a smile and wink at her. This builds connection. If you're in a cheeky mood you can even add a comment like, "...I don't mind if you stare at me...I've done it to you...", or something like that.
SCENT OF A WOMAN
Now we come down to her nose which is our reminder to ask about and comment on her perfume. She has probably worn her favourite one. This is a date for her too, even if it is just coffee. To increase your connection with her you might want to simply ask her something like, "are you wearing perfume....?... (Yes)...I thought so...it smells great... (Thank you)" ...or... "...that's certainly a lovely perfume you're wearing..." If you're really on fire you might gesture to her to lean towards you so you can smell it properly After you smell it again while she is close to you can say something like, "hmmm, very... (Nice, alluring, appealing, tempting, or enticing)", depending on what mood you're in. Then just
ask her if that's her favourite perfume. It doesn't really matter what she says in response to this question, it just sets up the tone for you to talk to her seductively about perfume. If she says 'yes', you can even playfully accuse her of trying to seduce you by wearing her most enticing and alluring perfume to the first coffee date. Then you might playfully hint that it might be working whilst giving her a slow wink. If she says 'no', you can playfully accuse her of saving her favourite one for the next date she goes on with you so she can really work her magic on you then...just as you were beginning to think that she was a nice girl... After any playful cocky and funny banter with her or any push and pull flirtation, change gears and show her your serious side. This can be a powerful seduction technique. It doesn't allow her to put you in a category and keeps her intrigued. Don't spend the whole coffee date trying to be funny or trying to be seriously seductive, make sure you mix it up. After playing around with her perfume answers change gears. Using the most seductive word combinations you can think of you can simply talk about the arousing aromas of some perfumes and how what turns some people on, might also turn some people off. Then use that as a cue to ask her something like, "so what exactly is it about a particular kind of man that you find yourself attracted to?" Then take in all the clues she gives you about what she finds attractive in guys as you can use them later with her. Some women get shy when you ask them questions like this and they'll respond with "Umm...I don't know, I've never really thought about it. What is it with certain women that cause you to be attracted to them?" This is another perfect cue for you to start describing all the sensual qualities of your perfect woman to her whilst ensuring that she possesses most of the qualities you're talking about. After she takes in what you've said, change gears again. Playfully accuse her of knowing all your secrets now and her plotting to use them for her own benefit so she can have her way with you. Then get serious again and say. "I'm not saying that it
would be a
bad thing" The opportunities are endless and they all grew out of asking her about her perfume.
SWEET NOTHINGS
The next things after her nose are her ears. Throughout this coffee date you must try to whisper in her ear at least once. This is helping her get used to the idea of your face being close to her face as whispering is an intimate thing to do. One way to do this is to locate another guy in the area who you can both see and look over in his direction with a very slight bemused look on your face. Then gesture to for her to lean over to you like you want to whisper something to her. Get as close to her ear as you can and whisper. "Looks like there's another person here who also thinks you look beautiful this evening" With this technique you are basically whispering into her ear that she looks beautiful. This is powerful stuff when it is done right. It is not a direct compliment and makes her think. Another way to do this is to be in mid conversation with her and say to her. "I've actually got a secret that I've been dying to tell someone, would you like to her it...?.{yes)... You need her to bring her ear close, so just say, "It's a secret...so come closer, because I'm only going to whisper it" Then simply whisper into her ear a compliment regarding her most beautiful feature. Maybe something like' "...Your hair looks absolutely gorgeous today..." And then lean back as if nothing happened and say to her. "But don't tell anybody I told you that...it's a secret remember..." If you haven't got the courage to do one of the above to her than your only other option is to whisper something into her ear about someone or something else. But make sure you're not complaining about something or making fun of the gay waiter. Her brother might be gay. Just make an observation about something and find a reason to whisper about it.
SMOOTH TALKER
Now we've passed her ears and it's onto her mouth. It's to remind you that at the end of the coffee date you should know what her favourite foods are and what things she likes to do fun. But do not barrage her with questions and turn this into an interview. Your conversation should consist of (30%) playful humorous light hearted flirting, (30%) seductive descriptions and romantic topics, (30%) neutral small talk whilst finding out about her likes and dislikes...and (10%) silence. If you can get this ratio right, it will be easy for her to feel enough of a connection with you to go on a second date with you. For now, let's look at one example which contains all three aspects of the recommended conversation ratios. For example you might ask her, "So obviously you work out...and that's an observation...not a compliment you can take this as a compliment if you want... but seriously, what's your favourite way to work out...?" In the above example there is small talk entwined with playful flirtatious backhanded compliments while you are asking her a genuine question. (Push and Pull) You can then use her answers to move into your seductive descriptions about the subject at hand as she will often reciprocate a question back to you on the same subject. It doesn't matter what she replies with because you can just steer the conversation into your seductive description. In the worst case scenario, she might reply with, "I don't work out at all..." and then simply not say anything after that. You could just reply to that with, "Oh so it's all genetics hey...onlyvery few are that lucky...I wish I had it that easy...but sometimes working out can be fun...especially if you do it somewhere different..." She then might say something like 'what do you mean?', or 'yeah...that's true' Then you just lead into your seductive and romantic descriptions with something like, "My favourite has got to be running on a secluded beach...You don't get to do it often , but it's always special when you
do...It's great to run just on the water's edge because the sand is wet and it makes it harder ...so it's much easier to run on. It's too hard to run on the soft sand so I always run right next the water...And there's nothing like the smell of the beach... Have you ever been to a tropical island for a holiday...?" As we've discussed before, whilst you're describing your exercise routine on the beach with a very subtle seductive tone and emphasis on the words in italic, it allows her to get swept up in the description and experience the feelings you're describing. The words like 'special, wet, harder, easier and nothing like it" go straight through to her subconscious because the sentence itself is slightly confusing, although it does make perfect sense. You're also bringing her back from her experience by simply asking her if she has ever been to a tropical island. Upon receiving her answer from that question you could simply lead into some talk about how romantic tropical islands are. Your options are endless but be careful you maintain the correct ratio regarding the differing aspects of your conversation. Don't overdo it. You'd only want to take her through two seductive descriptions like the example above in the half hour you are with her. Another little crazy trick to help you build connection with her is the 'something near your lip trick'. Wait until she has a sip of her cappuccino or a piece of cake and then look at her as if you're slightly taken back and say "you have something just above your lip" Now be careful here because this can make her self-conscious and it won't be conducive to her being in a relaxed open mood. But if you do it right it can work in your favour. Ensure that you come across as totally relaxed when you say this and make sure you have a relaxed posture. After you point just slightly above your own lip to show her where this tiny piece of chocolate is, allow her to try to wipe it off once. When she fails to remove it, just look at her lovingly and say 'do you mind', as you begin to slowly reach your hand up to it. Then take your time and whilst using your thumb, just ever so gently wipe the corner of her top lip. Then just say to her, ‘all gone’ or ‘that's better’, or ‘perfect again’, and continue the conversation as if nothing happened by maybe saving something along the lines of, "...anyway, as I was saying..."
It's best to do this while you are in mid conversation rather than her. If it's the other way around you're interrupting her half way through what she is saying and women love to know that you're listening to them, so interrupt your own conversation. What this does is it allows you to share a tiny little caring intimate moment. Don't underestimate the power of this crazy little trick. After you've gently caressed her top lip to remove this tiny imaginary imperfection you can say something to her like, "...you looked kind of cute with it there...and I wasn't going to tell you..." If she profusely tries to wipe it off herself and you know she's not going to let you touch her, you can simply turn it around into a compliment by saying, "It's fine now, and it's gone...it was easy to notice a little imperfection on a perfect landscape....anyway....as I was saying...", and continue on with your conversation. So now we have used all the features of her face to remind us of the things we can do to increase our connection with her and build more attraction, let's move onto her body.
I CAN USE SOMEBODY
Throughout this coffee date you must try to touch her at least twice in a way that cannot be mistaken as a casual social touch. You should also touch her in a casual manner twice too. The casual manner is easy as you can just place your hand on her lower back to casually guide her to her seat Or on the way out you could casually touch her by guiding her through the doorway. You can also touch her casually a few times throughout your conversation by just touching her hand for a moment as you share a laugh or agree on something. Also use any opportunity you may come across to pass her something or ask her to pass you something, but of course do not make this obvious. As you take something from her, like a spoon etc, ensure that you casually touch her hand as you do so. Likewise if you pass her something, ensure she cannot take it off you without
having to touch you first. Of course you will not make this obvious or force the issue, but if the opportunity arises make sure you utilise it. This casual touching is just getting her used to touching you. It's the non social touch that you've got to get right. This lets her know that you're comfortable displaying your affection via touching and also reassures her that you are definitely interested in her romantically. You can be the smoothest talker in the world but you're going to have to touch her at some stage as well. Some guys have no trouble with this and others have great difficulty. Try these methods to get you started. Notice something she is wearing on her hand or wrist such as a bracelet or a ring. Curiously ask her to show it to you. As she brings her hand forward to show you gently take her hand with your hand while you look at the item in question. Compliment it, and ask her if there is a story behind it. For example, take a sip of your coffee and as your putting it down say something like, "...that's the second time it's caught my eye...show me your bracelet... (hold her hand gently for about four seconds)...hmm it’s nice, it suits you..." and very slowly let her hand go and perhaps ask her if it was a gift from someone. Listen to her little story about it and talk to her very briefly about it and then curiously notice her other hand and say, "...show me your other hand for a second... (Hold her hand gently for about four seconds)...hmm, this hand feels just as nice as your other one..." Then slowly let go of her hand and smile at her with a cheeky grin. You can also use similar tactics to look at her necklace or her earrings but these are more intimate areas and it's up to you to judge whether she will be receptive to this. As you hold her necklace you can gently let the back of your hand touch her chest or as you look at her earrings you can gently brush her hair behind her ear in the guise of getting a better view of her earrings. You can tweak these slightly or change them totally but the main purpose it to get you touching her in a manner that is beyond casual. You must try to achieve at least two non casual touches in the half hour you spend with her.
CHAPTER FOUR
If you leave me now…
GOODBYE MY LOVER
There are going to be times when the woman is enjoying herself so much that she is going to try to get you to stay for longer. Try not to fall into this trap as it will usually not work in your favour. Although she seems to be enjoying herself, the time you've spent together is usually still too short for anything else to happen but more of the same. Its much better to pull the pin and leave the coffee date nice and short no matter how good things are progressing. In fact the better things are going; the better it is to keep it short. You may have the coffee date mastered but it will rarely work in your favour to stay any longer than 40 minutes. In some rare cases you'll intuitively know its fine to stay longer because you can sense that something is going to happen, but be forewarned that usually it does not. It's a shame to get the whole coffee date right and then blow your chances with her only because you stayed to long and the environment you were in wasn't conducive to any further progress with her. When you build a strong connection with her and you don't start to take things to the next level, that's when she becomes bored and annoyed. This is what happens when you hang around too long on the coffee date. You can't take things to the next level. Get out of there and let your mastery of the second date close the deal for you.
THE SMOOTH CRIMINAL
If you achieve a degree of mastery regarding the techniques and principles in this book you're going to be so smooth with the ladies that it's going to be criminal. Now that you've committed the perfect 40 minute crime it's time for the smooth getaway. This entails ending the coffee date and leaving the cafe without the usual boring and sometimes awkward bill paying formalities. There is a simple and very effective way to do this. When your intuition tells you that it's time to end the date simply excuse yourself by saying. "...I just have to go to the men's...excuse me for a minute..." now whether you have to go or not you're still going to go to the men's room. Whilst in there you might as well take advantage of it to make sure you look your best. Now remove the $15 or $20 note from your pocket and hold it in your hand. As your leaving the men's room walk past the cashier or waitress and give them the money whilst saying." ...that's for my lady and I on the table over there as we'll be leaving very shortly...you can keep the change and I don't require a receipt...thanks for the coffee's we both enjoyed them..." Now when you get back to the table you know everything is taken care of and there are going to be no awkward interruptions by the waiter asking you to pay the bill. Be the one who says that it's time to say goodbye for now. Ask her if she'd like you to walk her to her car. Besides the fact that it is gentlemanly to offer, there is always an opportunity for you to kiss her in a more private surrounding than there was in the coffee shop. Now she will probably ask you about the bill and if or when she does you can just say to her, "...don't worry... it's taken care of..." When you utilise this technique it shows her that you are capable of taking care of the details effortlessly. On the way to her car or before you part ways tell her that you enjoyed yourself and that you'd like to see her again. (Only if you did of course) Ask her if she is interested in seeing you again. You can try something like, "Hey I know it was only short, but I really enjoyed your
company and I'd love to meet up with you again... (Sounds good)... ok that's great. I’ll give you a call and hopefully you'll keep Saturday evening free for me." And on that note, part ways. If she says that she's not sure about seeing you again or doesn't want to, don't make a big deal about it. The less fuss you make about the fact, the more attractive you'll remain in her eyes. If anything she will only think to herself, hmm I wonder why he wasn't fussed when I said that I didn't want to see him again...maybe 1 should give him another chance. If you go on about the fact that she said that she doesn't to see you again you'll only come across as a complainer and supplicatory. If you don't do that your luck might change in a couple of days when she's has had some time to reflect upon the date. If you complain it will only strengthen her mental position.
THE CORRECT APOLOGY
Throughout the coffee date there is the possibility that you might make a mistake or offend a woman. She'll be sure to let you know by either voicing her opinion or suddenly changing her attitude towards you. If this happens to you there is a correct way to apologize to women that is very effective. We'll coin it the "talk back apology". The first step is to ask her what is bothering her if she hasn't already told you and actually listen to what she is saying to you without interrupting her. Then repeat back to her word for word if possible what she has said to you. This shows her that you have listened to her and that you've understood her. In doing this your battle is already half won. Then apologize to her for what she thinks you have done and promise to never do it again. Then you should thank her for sharing her feelings with you and let her know that you understand how she could become upset over such a thing. When you apologise to a woman using the talk back apology your chances of her accepting the apology and changing her mood are 100% better than just saying to a girl, "...Oh I'm sorry...! didn't mean to offend
you..." That's a primitive apology and will get you nowhere fast. Although this kind of apology doesn't come naturally for a man. this is what works with women. Let's go through a typical example. Her, "...What a stupid thing to say...l can't believe you said that..." You, "...What part about what I said has offended you Susan...?" Her, "...The part where you made fun of the way I pronounced that company's name...that's what..." You, "...So you're offended because I made fun of the way you pronounces that company's name...?" Her, "...Yes...!" You, "...Well actually...I can understand how you'd be offended about that because I never really actually took the time to think about it that way and for doing that...I apologize, and I'm sorry Thanks for actually taking the time to explain that to me and for doing so I promise that I'll never make fun of the way you might mispronounce something ever again deal...?" Her, "...Well ok then...I didn't mean to get so upset it's just that...etc...etc..." That's a typical example of a talk back apology and you can just imagine how much more effective that is than saying something like. "...Ok I'm sorry...I didn't mean it like that..." Ensure you practice a couple of talk back apologies to yourself, so if the situation ever arises you'll have it easily covered...and trust me, the situation will arise...
THE NEXT PHONE CALL
So you're feeling confident that the coffee date was a success and you're ready to ask her out on a date. All the same rules apply to this phone call as they did to the initial call when you asked her out for coffee. Keep the call short and have a goal in mind. If you've payed attention throughout the coffee date you should know all the things that she enjoys doing so
