CON ONNECTED,BUTALONE She r r yT ur k l e Fi l medFebr uar y2012
0 : 1 1 J us tamo mome nta go ,myd au gh t e rRe be c cat e x t e dmef o rgo odl u c k.He rt e x ts a i d," Mo m,y m, o uwi l l r oc k. "Il ov et hi s .Get t i ngt hatt ex twasl i k eget t i ngahug.Ands ot her ey ouhav ei t .Iembodyt he c en t r al par ad ox .I ' m awomanwh ol o v esge t t i ngt e xt swho' sgoi ngt ot el l y out h att ooma nyoft hem canbeapr obl em. m. 0 : 4 4 Ac t u al l yt h atr e mi mi nd ero fmyda ug ht e rb r i n gsme met ot heb eg i n ni n go fmys t o r y . 19 96,wh enIg av emy fi r s tTEDT al k ,Rebec c awasfi vey ear sol dands hewassi t t i ngr i ghtt her ei nt hef r ontr ow.Ihadj us t wr i t t enabookt hatc el ebr at edourl i f eont hei nt er ne tandIwasaboutt obeont hec ov erofWi r ed ma ga zi n e.I nt h os eh ea dyda y s ,wewe r ee x pe r i me nt i n gwi t hc h atr o omsan do nl i n ev i r t u al c ommun i t i e s .Wewe r eex pl o r i n gd i ff er e nta sp ec t so fou r s el v e s .Andt h enweun pl u gg ed.Iwa s e x c i t e d.And ,a sap sy c h ol og i s t ,wh ate x c i t e dmemo mo s twa st h ei d eat ha twewo ul dus ewh atwe l ear nedi nt hev i r t ual wor l daboutour s el v es ,aboutouri dent i t y ,t ol i v ebet t erl i v esi nt her eal wor l d. 1 : 3 8 No wf a s t f o r wa r dt o2 01 2.I ' m ba c kh er eo nt h eTEDs t a gea ga i n .Myda ug ht e r ' s20 .Sh e' sac ol l e ge s t udent .Shes l eepswi t hherc el l phone,s odoI .AndI ' v ej us twr i t t enanewbook ,butt hi st i mei t ' snot onet ha twi l l ge tmeo nt heco v erofWi r edmag az i n e.Sowh athappened ?I ' ms t i l l e x c i t edby t ec hnol ogy ,butIbel i ev e,andI ' m her et omak et hec as e,t hatwe' r el et t i ngi tt ak euspl ac est hatwe don' twan tt og o. 2 : 1 7 Ov ert hepas t1 5y ea r s ,I ' v es t u di edt ec hnol ogi esofmobi l ec ommun i c at i onandI ' v ei nt er v i e wed hundr ed sandh und r edsofpe op l e,y ounga ndol d,aboutt hei rpl u gg edi nl i v es .An dwhatI ' v ef oundi s t hatourl i t t l edev i c es ,t hos el i t t l edev i c esi nourpoc ket s ,ar es ops yc hol ogi c al l ypower f ul t hatt he y d on ' to nl yc h a ng ewh a twedo ,t h e yc ha ng ewh owear e .So meoft me h et h i n gswedono wwi t hou r de vi c esar et hi ngst ha t ,on l yaf e wy ear sago,wewo ul dh av ef o undoddordi s t ur bi ng,butt he y' v e qui c k l yc omet os eem f ami l i ar ,j us tho w wedot hi ng s. 2 : 5 9
Soj u s tt ot a k es o mequ i c kex a mp l e s:Pe op l et e x to rd oe ma i l d ur i n gc o r po r a t eb oa r dme et i n gs .Th ey t e xtands hopandgoonFac ebookdur i ngc l a ss es ,du r i n gpr es ent at i on s,a ct ua l l ydur i ngal l mee t i ngs . Peopl et al kt omeaboutt hei mpor t antnews k i l l ofmak i nge yec ont ac twhi l ey ou' r et e xt i ng.( Laught er ) Peopl ee xpl ai nt omet hati t ' shar d,butt hati tc anbedone.Par ent st e xtanddoemai l atbr eak f as t andatdi nnerwhi l et hei rc hi l dr enc ompl ai naboutnothav i ngt hei rpar ent s ' f ul l at t ent i on.Butt hen t hes es amec hi l dr enden yeac hot hert hei rf ul l at t ent i on.Thi si sar ec ents ho tofmydaught erandher f r i endsbei ngt oget herwhi l enotbei ngt oget her .Andweev ent e xtatf uner al s .Is t udyt hi s .Wer emo ve our s el v esf r om ou rgr i efo rf r om ourr e v er yandwegoi nt oou rphone s. 4 : 0 4 Wh ydo est hi sma t t er ?I tmat t er st omebe caus eIt hi nkwe ' r es et t i ngo ur s el v esupf ort r o ubl e— t r oubl ec er t ai nl yi nhowwer el at et oeac hot her ,butal s ot r oubl ei nho w wer el at et oour s el v esand ourc apac i t yf ors el f r efl ec t i on.We' r eget t i ngus edt oanewwa yofbei ngal onet oget her .Peopl ewant t obewi t heac ho t h er ,bu tal s oel s ewher e— c onne ct edt oal l t hedi ff er entpl ac est he ywan tt obe . Peopl ewan tt oc us t omi z et hei rl i v e s.The ywantt ogoi nan dou tofal l t hepl ac est he yar ebe caus e t het hi ngt hatmat t er smos tt ot hem i scont r ol o verwher et he yputt hei rat t ent i on.Soy ouwantt ogo t ot hatboar dmeet i ng,buty ouonl ywantt opa yat t ent i ont ot hebi t st hati nt er es ty ou.Ands ome peopl et hi nkt hat ' sagoodt h i ng.Bu ty ouc anendu phi di ngf r om e ac ho t her ,e v enaswe ' r eal l c on st a nt l yco nne ct edt oea cho t her . 5 : 0 4 A5 0y e ar o l dbu si n es sma nl a me nt edt omet h ath ef e el sh ed oe sn ' tha v eco l l e ag ue san y mo r eat wo r k .Wh enheg oe st owo r k ,h edo es n' ts t o pb yt ot a l kt oa ny bo dy , hed oe sn ' tc al l .An dh es a y sh e does n' twantt oi nt er r upthi scol l eaguesbec aus e,hes ay s ," The y' r et oobus yont hei remai l . "Butt hen hes t op sh i ms el fandhes a ys ," Yo uk no w,I ' m no tt el l i ngy out het r u t h .I ' mt heon ewhodoes n' twant t obei nt er r upt ed.It hi nkIs houl dwantt o,butac t ual l yI ' dr at herj us tdot hi ngsonmyBl ac kber r y . " 5 : 3 5 Ac r os st hegener at i ons ,Is eet hatpeopl ec an' tgetenoughofeac hot her ,i fandonl yi ft he yc anha ve eac hot heratadi s t anc e,i namount st he yc anc ont r ol .Ic al l i tt heGol di l oc kseffec t :nott ooc l os e,not t oof ar ,j us tr i ght .Butwhatmi ghtf eel j us tr i ghtf ort hatmi ddl eagedex ec ut i v ec anbeapr obl em f or anad ol e sc entwhoneedst ode v el opf ac et of ac er el a t i ons hi ps .An18 y ear ol dbo ywhous est e x t i ng f oral mos tev er y t hi ngs ay st omewi s t f ul l y ," Someday , s omeday ,butc er t ai nl ynotnow,I ' dl i k et ol ear n h owt oh av eac on v er s at i o n. " 6 : 2 2 WhenIas kpeopl e" Wh at ' swr ongwi t hha vi ngac on v er s at i on?"Peopl es ay , " I ' l l t el l y ouwhat ' swr ong wi t hha vi ngac onv er s at i on.I tt ak espl ac ei nr eal t i meandy ouc an' tc ont r ol whaty ou' r egoi ngt os ay . " Sot hat ' st hebot t om l i ne.T ex t i ng,emai l ,pos t i ng,al l oft hes et hi ngsl etuspr es entt hes el faswewant
t obe.Weg ett oed i t ,andt h atmean swege tt odel e t e,andt hatmean swege tt or e t ouc h,t hef ac e, t hev oi c e,t hefl es h,t hebody— nott ool i t t l e,nott oomuc h,j us tr i ght . 7 : 0 5 Hu ma nr e l a t i o ns hi p sar er i c han dt h ey ' r eme ss ya ndt he y ' r ede ma nd i n g.An dwec l e ant h em u pwi t h t ec hnol ogy . Andwh enwedo ,oneoft h et h i ng st ha tc anhappeni st ha twesa cr i fi c ec on v er s at i onf or me r eco nn ec t i o n.Wes ho r t c h ang eo ur s el v e s .An do v ert i me ,wese em t of o r ge tt h i s ,o rwese em t o s t opc ar i ng. 7 : 3 2 Iwa sc au gh to ffg ua r dwh enSt e ph enCo l b er ta s k edmeapr o f o un dq ue s t i o n,apr o f o un dq ue s t i o n. Hes ai d," Don' tal l t hos el i t t l et weet s ,don' tal l t hos el i t t l es i psofonl i nec ommuni c at i on,addupt oone b i gg ul po fr e al c on v er s at i o n? "Myan swe rwa sn o,t h eydo n' tad du p.Co nn ec t i n gi ns i p sma ywo r k f orgat her i ngdi s cr et ebi t sofi nf or mat i on,t he ymaywor kf ors ay i ng," I ' mt hi nk i ngabouty ou, "orev en f ors ay i n g," Il o v ey ou, "— Ime an,l oo katho w If el twhenIgo tt ha tt e x tf r om mydaught e r— bu tt he y don' tr eal l ywor kf orl ear ni ngabouteac hot her ,f orr eal l yc omi ngt ok no w andunder s t andeac hot her . Andweu sec o nv e r s at i on swi t hea c ho t h ert ol ea r nh owt oh av ec on v er s at i o nswi t ho ur s el v e s .Soa fl i ghtf r om c onv er s at i onc anr eal l ymat t erbec aus ei tc anc ompr omi s eourc apac i t yf ors el f r efl ec t i on. Fork i dsgr owi ngup,t hats k i l l i st hebedr oc kofde vel opment . 8 : 5 7 Ov erando verIhear ," Iwoul dr at hert e xtt hant al k . "AndwhatI ' ms eei ngi st hatpeopl egets ous edt o bei ngs hor t c hangedoutofr eal c onv er s at i on,s ous edt oget t i ngbywi t hl es s,t hatt he y' v ebec ome al mos twi l l i ngt odi s pens ewi t hp eo pl ea l t oge t her .Sof ore x ampl e,man yp eopl es har ewi t hmet h i s wi s h,t hats omeda yamor eadv anc edv er s i onofSi r i ,t hedi gi t al as s i s t antonAppl e' si Phone,wi l l be mor el i k eabes tf r i end,s omeonewhowi l l l i s t enwheno t her swon' t .Ibel i ev et hi swi s hr efl ec t sa pai nf ul t r ut ht hatI ' v el ear nedi nt hepas t15y ear s .Thatf eel i ngt hatnoonei sl i s t eni ngt omei sver y i mpor t anti nourr el at i ons hi pswi t ht ec hnol ogy .That ' swh yi t ' ss oappeal i ngt oha veaFac ebookpage oraT wi t t erf eed— s oman yau t oma t i cl i s t ene r s .Andt hef eel i ngt hatnoonei sl i s t eni ngt omemak e u swa ntt os p en dt i mewi t hma c hi n est h ats e em t oc a r eab ou tu s . 1 0: 03 We' r ede vel opi ngr obot s ,t he yc al l t hem s oc i abl er obot s ,t hatar es pec i fi cal l ydes i gnedt obe c ompa ni on s— t ot hee l de r l y , t oourc hi l dr e n,t ous .Ha v ewes ol os tc on fiden cet hatwewi l l bet her e f o re ac ho t h er ?Du r i n gmyr e se ar c hIwo r k e di nnu r s i n gho me s,a ndIb r ou gh ti nt h es es o ci a bl e r obo t st hatwer edes i gnedt ogi v et heel der l yt hef eel i ngt hatt he ywer eunder s t ood.Andoneda yI c amei na ndawo ma nwh oh adl o s tac hi l dwa st al k i n gt oar o bo ti nt h es h ap eo fab ab ys ea l .I t s eemedt obel ook i ngi nh ere y es .I ts eemedt ob ef ol l o wi n gt hec on v er s at i o n.I tc omf or t edher .And ma n ype op l ef o un dt h i sa ma z i n g.
1 0: 56 Bu tt h atwoma nwa st r y i ngt omak ese ns eo fh erl i f ewi t hama ch i n et h ath adn oe x pe r i en c eoft h e ar cofahumanl i f e.Thatr obo tp utonagr eats ho w.An dwe' r ev ul ner ab l e.Peopl ee xper i enc ep r e t en d e mp at h yast h ou ghi twe r et h er e al t h i n g.Sod ur i n gt h atmo me ntwh ent h atwo ma nwa se x p er i e nc i n g t hatpr et endempat hy ,Iwast hi nk i ng," Thatr obotc an' tempat hi z e.I tdoes n' tf ac edeat h.I tdoes n' t k nowl i f e. " 1 1: 33 Andast hatwomant oo kc omf or ti nh err obo tc ompa ni o n,Idi dn' tfi ndi tamaz i ng;If oundi toneoft he mo s twr en c hi n g,c ompl i c a t e dmo men t si nmy1 5y e ar so fwo r k .Bu twh enIs t e pp edba ck ,If e l tmy s e l f a tt h ec o l d ,h ar dc e nt e ro fap er f e cts t o r m.Wee x pe ctmo r ef r o mt e ch no l o gyan dl e s sf r om ea c h o t her .AndIas kmy s el f ," Wh yh av et h i ng sc omet ot hi s ?" 1 2: 07 AndIb el i e v ei t ' sb ec au set e c hn ol o gya pp ea l st ousmo s twh er ewear emo s tv u l n er a bl e .An dwear e v ul ner abl e.We' r el onel y ,butwe' r eaf r ai dofi nt i mac y .Ands of r om s oc i al net wor k st os oc i abl er obot s , we' r edes i gni ngt ec hnol ogi est hatwi l l gi v eust hei l l us i onofc ompani ons hi pwi t houtt hedemandsof f r i e nd shi p.Wet ur nt ot e chnol ogyt ohe l pusf e el c onnec t edi nwa y swec anc omf or t abl ycon t r ol .But we ' r eno ts oc omf o r t ab l e.Wea r en ots omu chi nc on t r o l . 1 2: 41 Th es eda y s ,t h os eph on esi nou rp oc k e t sa r ec ha ng i n go urmi n dsa ndhe ar t sb ec a us et h eyo ffe ru s t hr eegr at i f y i ngf ant as i es .One,t hatwec anputourat t ent i onwher ev erwewanti tt obe;t wo,t hatwe wi l l al way sbehear d;andt hr ee,t hatwewi l l nev erha vet obeal one.Andt hatt hi r di dea,t hatwewi l l n ev e rh av et ob ea l o ne ,i sc en t r a lt oc h an gi n go urp sy c h es .Be ca us et h emome ntt h atp eo pl ea r e al one,e v enf oraf e ws ec onds ,t he ybec omeanx i o us ,t he ypani c ,t he yfi dge t ,t he yr eac hf orad ev i c e. J us tt hi nkofpeopl eatac hec koutl i neoratar edl i ght .Bei ngal onef eel sl i k eapr obl em t hatneedst o bes ol v ed.Ands op eo pl et r yt os ol v ei tb yc on nec t i ng.Buther e ,c onnec t i o ni smor el i k eas y mpt o m t hanac ur e.I te xpr es s es ,buti td oes n' ts ol v e,anund er l y i ngpr o bl em.Butmor et hanas y mp t om, c on st a ntc onnec t i oni sc ha ngi ngt hewa ypeopl et h i nkoft hems el v es .I t ' ss hap i ngane w wa yof b ei n g. 1 3: 47 Thebes twa yt odes c r i bei ti s ,Is har et her ef or eIam.Weu set ec hnol ogyt odefi neour s el v esby s har i ngourt hought sandf eel i ngsev enaswe' r eha vi ngt hem.Sobef or ei twas :Iha veaf eel i ng,I wantt omak eac al l .Nowi t ' s :Iwantt ohav eaf eel i ng,Ineedt os endat e xt .Thepr obl em wi t ht hi s newr egi meof" Is har et her ef or eIam"i st hat ,i fwedon' thav ec onnec t i on,wedon' tf eel l i k e o ur s e l v e s .Weal mo s td on ' tf e el o ur s e l v e s .Sowh atd owedo ?Wec on ne c tmo r ean dmo r e .Bu ti n t hep r oc es s ,wes etour s el v esupt obei s ol at e d.
1 4: 29 Howdoy ouge tf r om c onnec t i ont oi s ol at i on?Youendupi s ol at edi fy oudon' tc ul t i v at et hec apac i t y f ors ol i t ude,t heabi l i t yt obes epar at e,t ogat hery our s el f .Sol i t udei swher ey oufi ndy our s el fs ot hat y o uc anr e ac ho utt oo t h erp eop l ea ndf o r mr ea la t t a c hme nt s .Wh enwed on ' tha v et hec ap ac i t yf or s ol i t ude,wet ur nt oot herpeopl ei nor dert of eel l es sanx i ousori nor dert of eel al i v e.Whent hi s happen s,we' r eno tabl et oappr ec i at ewh ot he ya r e .I t ' sast ho ug hwe ' r eus i ngt he ma ss par epa r t st o s uppor tourf r agi l es ens eofs el f .Wes l i pi nt ot hi nk i ngt hatal wa ysbei ngc onnec t edi sgoi ngt omak e usf eel l es sal one.Butwe' r eatr i s k,bec aus eac t ual l yi t ' st heoppos i t et hat ' st r ue.I fwe' r enotabl et o beal one,we' r egoi ngt obemor el onel y . Andi fwedon' tt eac hourc hi l dr ent obeal one,t he y' r eonl y g oi n gt okn owh owt obel o ne l y . 1 5: 33 WhenIs pok eatTEDi n199 6,r epo r t i ngo nmys t u di esoft heea r l yvi r t u al c ommuni t i e s,Is ai d, " Thos ewhomak et hemos toft hei rl i v esont hes cr eenc omet oi ti nas pi r i tofs el f r efl ec t i on. "And t hat ' swhatI ' mc al l i ngf orher e,now:r efl ec t i onand,mor et hant hat ,ac on ver s at i onaboutwher eour c ur r entus eo ft e chnol og yma ybet ak i ngus ,whati tmi ghtbec os t i ngus .We' r es mi t t e nwi t h t ec hnol ogy .Andwe' r eaf r ai d,l i k ey oungl o ver s ,t hatt oomuc ht al k i ngmi ghts poi l t her omanc e.But i t ' st i met ot al k .Wegr ewupwi t hdi gi t al t ec hnol ogyands owes eei tasal l gr ownup.Buti t ' snot ,i t ' s ear l yda ys .Ther e' spl ent yoft i mef orust or ec ons i derhowweus ei t ,ho w webui l di t .I ' m not s ugge st i n gt hatwet ur na wa yf r om ourde vi c es ,j us tt h atwede v el opamor es el f a wa r er el at i ons hi p wi t ht hem,wi t heac ho t he ra ndwi t hour s el v es . 1 6: 38 Is ees omefi r s ts t eps .St ar tt hi nk i ngofs ol i t udeasagoodt hi ng.Mak er oom f ori t .Fi ndwa yst o demo ns t r a t et hi sasav al uet oy ou rc hi l d r en.Cr eat esac r edspac esathome— t heki t c he n,t he d i n i n gr o om — a ndr e cl a i mt he mf orc on v er s a t i o n.Dot hesa met h i nga two r k .Atwor k ,we ' r es ob us y c ommuni c at i ngt hatweof t endon' tha vet i met ot hi nk ,wedon' tha vet i met ot al k ,aboutt het hi ngst hat r eal l ymat t er .Changet hat .Mos ti mpor t ant ,weal l r eal l yneedt ol i s t ent oeac hot her ,i nc l udi ngt ot he bor i ngbi t s .Bec au sei t ' swhenwes t umb l eorh es i t at eo rl os eourwor dst ha twer e v eal ou r s el v e st o eac hot her . 1 7: 29 T e c h no l o g yi sma k i n gabi dt or e de fi n eh uma nc o n ne c t i o n— h o w wec ar ef o re ac ho t h er ,h o w we c ar ef orour s el v es— buti t ' sal s ogi v i ngust heoppor t uni t yt oaffir m ourv al uesandourdi r ec t i on.I ' m o pt i mi s t i c .Weh av eev e r y t hi n gwen ee dt os t a r t .Weh av ee ac ho t h er .An dweha v et heg r ea t e s t c hanc eofs uc ces si fwer ec ogni z eourv ul ner abi l i t y .Thatwel i s t enwhent ec hnol ogysay si twi l l t ak e s ome t h i ngc ompl i c a t e da ndp r omi s e ss ome t h i n gs i mp l e r . 1 8: 07
Soi nmywor k ,Iheart hatl i f ei shar d,r el at i ons hi psar efi l l edwi t hr i s k.Andt hent her e' st ec hnol ogy— s i mpl er ,hopef ul ,opt i mi s t i c ,ev er y oung.I t ' sl i k ec al l i ngi nt hec av al r y .Anadc ampai gnpr omi s est hat onl i neandwi t hav at ar s ,y ouc an" Fi nal l y ,l o vey ourf r i endsl ov ey ourbody ,l o vey ourl i f e,onl i neand wi t ha v at a r s . "We' r edr a wnt ov i r t ua lr omanc e,t oc omput erg amest hats eem l i k ewo r l ds ,t ot hei dea t h atr o bo t s ,r o bo t s ,wi l l s ome da yb eo urt r u ec omp an i o ns .Wes pe nda ne v en i n gont h es oc i a l net wor ki ns t eadofgoi ngt ot hepubwi t hf r i ends . 1 8: 55 Bu to urf a nt a si e so fs u bs t i t u t i o nh av ec o stu s.No w wea l l n ee dt of o cu so nt h ema ny , ma nywa y s t e ch no l o gyc anl e adu sba c kt oou rr e al l i v e s ,o uro wnb od i e s,o uro wnc o mmu ni t i e s,o uro wn pol i t i c s ,ouro wnpl anet .The yneedus .Let ' st al kabouthowwec anus edi gi t al t ec hnol ogy ,t he t ec hnol ogyofourdr eams ,t omak et hi sl i f et hel i f ewec anl o ve. 1 9: 30 Thanky ou. 1 9: 32 ( Ap pl a us e )
