http://www.braddocksblog.com
Section 1: Inner Game 1. Your Best Self
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1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4
Inner Game Change Your Life NOW!!!!!!! Q & A on Wings and Cutting Old Friends Do You Bring Value or Take it????
2. One Special Girl
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2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4
Oneitis?? Q & A on Love Girl Has a Boyfriend, But I Know She Likes Me “I Don’t Chase......I Replace.”
3. Newbies
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3.1 To the New Guys! 3.2 Dates: Lunch, Dinner, Drinks 3.3 The Prescription to Move Out of the LJBF Zone
4. Opening
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4.1 Approach Anxiety 4.2 Q & A on Approach Anxiety 4.3 Opening Mixed Groups (Guys and Girls)
Section 2: Outer Game 5. Teasing & Role Plays
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5.1 Q & A: How Can I Make Girls Laugh? 5.2 How to Flirt with Women, The Art of Push/Pull
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6. tAKeAWAYs & sNls 6.1 takeaways for sNls 6.2 same Night lay simple pointers 7. 9’s & 10’s 7.1 How Do I Date Hotter Girls? “proximity is power.” 7.2 Braddock and Mr. M (10 Game Audio) 7.3 Dating tip: Become successful with Women by Modeling 8. pHoNe AND text 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4
text Game text Game Basics by Braddock and savoy text Game: Making the Number solid the ultimate Guide to phone and text Game
9. ColleGe GAMe
9.1 College Game Videos 9.2 Q & A on College and social Circle Game 9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to get you laid)
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Section 3: LifeStyLe 10. soCIAl CIrCle MAsterY & ColD ApproACH 10.1 10.2 10.3 10.4
When to pull the trigger in Your social Circle Golden rule of Building a New social Circle... social Circle Mastery Interview Audio social Circle Vs. Cold Approach...let’s Just Hug it out
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11. Friends w/ Benefits
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11.1 Creating Friends w/ Benefits
12. Sticking Points
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12.1 Too ‘Routine Dependent’ Sticking Point
13. Lay Reports
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13.1 Poppin my Colla Partna NYC Lay Report 13.2 Soldier of Fortune!
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covered in this chapter:
1.1 Inner Game
- The Self Concept
- Being in the Moment
1.2 Change Your Life NOW!!!!!!!
- Relaxing
- Setting Realistic Goals
- Stop Bullshitting Yourself & Others
1.3 Q and A on Wings and Cutting Old Friends
- What it Really Means to Have a Wing
- When to Find New Friends
1.4 Do You Bring Value or Take it????
- Value and its “Identity”
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1.1 inner Game http://www.braddocksblog.com/2011/06/05/inner-game-2
the self Concept and Being in the Moment: I’ve been reading quite a few books lately on the self concept, being in the moment, and selfdeception. they have had a big impact on my life and game. Here are a few of the books I have read several times trying to really understand this and internalize it. I’m going to try and make this post as short as I can and keep it geared toward pickup. I will try to offer some of the key concepts that have resonated with me. However, I highly suggest you do not use this post as a substitute for reading these books cover to cover. My notes below are merely the tip of the iceberg. I have literally stacks of notebooks full of notes I have taken on each book. Inner game has many components, but I picked these two because I think they are most important, with self-deception being third. some helpful books on these topics... psycho Cybernetics, by Maltz the psychology of Achievement, by Brian tracy the power of Now, by eckhart tolle realization of Being, by eckhart tolle living the liberated life, by eckhart tolle Inner Game: If you develop your inner game then you can’t be stopped! Develop good inner game and the outer game will come at double the rate. Winner’s edge: What is this? People who dominate any field are only a “hair” better than everyone else. However, the difference in the success they enjoy is enormous. You don’t have to become Mystery or style to enjoy great success. Making small changes here and there can change your game DrAstICAllY! self Concept: Simple definition - “How much you truly believe that you are capable of doing something.” Not wish you could or hope to believe or pretend to believe. This is how much confidence you truly feel for a given skill set.
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1.1 Inner Game Example: Bushing my teeth, “My self concept is high”. Playing Soccer, “My self concept is low.” Your overall self concept will determine your success in life. It is impossible to act in a manner inconsistent with one of your self concepts. You have an overall self concept and it is made up of all your individual self concepts. You have a self concept for everything in your life (dress, income, how you drive, brushing your teeth, what kind of woman you deserve, hanging a picture on the wall...etc.) Examples: Michael Jordan’s self concept in basketball was extremely high. He literally believed he was going to make every shot. A carpenter’s is just as high with carpentry. He believes on a deep level he can build a house. If we switched these two and asked MJ to build a house, he would most likely have a low self concept in the area of carpentry, because he has never done it before. Want to get better at anything? Then you MUST CHANGE your self concept in that area. It is impossible to act inconsistent with our self image, but if we want to get better at something, then it is crucial that we change our self concept in that area. If we move our concept up or down we will act consistent with this new self concept. So, if we have a weak self concept about the women we deserve, or about how good we are at pickup, guess what, we will be consistent with that weak self image. The converse is also true. If we develop a strong self concept about our ability to attract women, and the women we deserve, we will start to be more consistent with that. So, how do we create a better self concept?? First, we must stop letting any one of our self concepts control how we feel about our overall self concept (specifically, our self concept in relation to women). What does this mean? Remember, I said you have a self concept for EVERYTHING you do!!!!!!! Do you look in the mirror and feel like shit about “who you are” when you first buy a video game and you keep dying on the first level? No. Your self concept is low in relation to that game, but you know if you play that game and that level enough times you will eventually get the hang of it. You won’t get depressed and want to crawl into bed or go read every book on that game. You will just keep playing it until you understand what every button on the controller does without you even having to think about it. Once you play it enough times you could beat that level with your eyes closed.
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1.1 Inner Game However, during the process of growing your self concept in regards to that game, you never let your low self concept affect your overall self concept. You didn’t attach too much meaning to that game. Therefore, you are able to grow rapidly. If you cried every time you lost and turned the game off and didn’t play it for two weeks, then your self concept would grow at a very slow rate. If you look at this on a time line from when you got the video game until you could play it with your eyes closed, can you see that you just dialed up that one self concept in that area of your life? Now, your self concept is higher now than when you first purchased that game. How can you measure it? When you first played that game, if I had said, I will give you a million dollars if you beat level one, but if you don’t I’m going to blow your head off, would you have taken the bet??? NOOOO. After you have played that game for 3 months, and you can beat level one with your eyes closed, would you take that bet???? Of course. Your self concept tells you, this is a sound bet. This knowledge should empower you with women and dating. ·We have a scientific formula to change our self concept! Not just some abstract “you can do it affirmation.” Based on the previous statement, we know, FOR A FACT that we can change our self concept simply by becoming more competent and skilled in the area we are deficient in, and the fastest way is by treating the skill set we want as a process and not attaching our identity to it. This one skill set DOES NOT define your overall self concept and it does not affect your other self concepts. We never feel uneasy doing something that we are good at, right? Do you ever feel uneasy brushing your teeth? What about driving your car? Were you always good at these tasks? Did you ever feel uneasy about driving your car? I did. I remember when I first started driving, I had a jeep with a stick shift. For about 3 months I felt anxiety every time I got behind the wheel. However, as my self concept grew, the uneasiness went away. Generally speaking, there are 3 occasions that cause us to feel a sense of uneasiness: 1. When we are doing something that we think we are not good at. Example: (Public Speaking). All the positive affirmations in the world will not trick our subconscious mind into believing that we can truly complete the task at a high level, when we know we have not
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1.1 Inner Game put in the work to obtain the skill. We might talk it into believing we can get by, but saying... “I can do this,” when you truly know you can’t, will only further trigger your mind to remind you where your true self concept is. 2. When we are doing things that we have had a failed experience with. Example: (Girl told you to fuck off on an approach). You develop a self concept based on one or more bad experiences without allowing enough time for the self concept to align with the idea that you can eventually master the task or skill set. 3. When we are doing something we know we can do, but we are putting unnecessary importance on the outcome. I personally think this is the most important one, especially in relation to pickup. Example: You hit every shot in basketball practice when nobody is there to watch, but you can’t even hit the rim when the stadium is full and it’s the championship game. It’s the same shot you couldn’t miss during practice. The goal is the same height and the ball has the same amount of air in it, but you are attributing meaning to the people in the stands and the trophy you may win. We build up how important the game is for our future that we make it impossible to just be in that moment like we are in practice. Example 2: When I’m not thinking about the past or the future and I’m really in the moment, I will do amazing demos for the students on bootcamp. But, if a student says, “You’re Braddock, I read your blog. I can’t wait to watch you in field tonight!” If I attribute a new found importance on a future outcome I cannot control or predict, I.E. doing an amazing demo on command for this guy, then I will likely lock up and perform poorly. I could give millions of examples for this in any genre of life from work to pickup. How do we combat the 3 above in relation to pickup? 1. First we must quiet our mind and put things where they really belong. Train your mind to control your body’s emotional responses to outside stimulus. This doesn’t mean you try to not feel emotions at all. You just learn to use your mind to quiet them to a level where your logical brain is running the show and not your emotional brain. These emotional responses, if not quieted, lead our logical brain to accept the idea that things are bigger than they are.
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1.1 Inner Game Why? In basketball practice, you don’t get butter flies in your stomach and your throat doesn’t clench up because you are not attributing any long term meaning to that event. You are aware that if you have a bad practice it doesn’t really matter and that nobody was in the stands to see you perform poorly. Because there is no emotional response, I.E. butterflies, your logical mind stays in control. You stay calm, controlled, you use your logic, and most importantly, you stay in the moment. You are not thinking about what will happen good or bad if you make or miss “this one shot.” You just shoot. On the contrary, in the championship game, the energy of the crowd, the noise, and the perceived importance placed on a desired outcome act to stimulate an emotional response that causes us to get butterflies. Our logical brain says, “Why are we having these feelings? Why are we feeling so nervous? This must be important. Let’s think this out. What if we have a bad game? What will this mean in the future? What will all these people think about me?” You then get an even deeper emotional reaction from your body. Each time your emotions are taking your mind a little further away from the cool, calm, collected, in the moment state you enjoyed in practice. You are now not playing basketball with the same self concept that you enjoy in practice because that self concept was based on shooting basketballs in a calm, cool, collected, in-themoment state of being. This jittery nervous state is creating a new negative self concept. Now, take Michael Jordan in a championship game. I’m willing to bet that he feels those jittery nervous feelings just like the rest of us, but the difference is his ability to use his logical mind to calm the inner emotional storm and quickly get back to the self concept that he enjoys in practice. People say he gets up for big games better than anyone who has ever played the game. I agree. But in nerd speech, I would say that he has the ability to control his mind and emotions allowing him to access his highest basketball self concept more readily than any other who has ever played the game. Yes, MJ was physically talented. No doubt. However, I would argue this was necessary but not sufficient to play at the level he played so consistently. The pressure of a big game, dealing with what the media will write and say, dealing with the excitement of being on TV, dealing with the awareness that a win could mean millions of dollars in endorsements, and a loss could send those commercials to another, would do a number on most people’s emotions and nervous system. Michael Jordan was capable of quieting all of that and even using that as a reason to get real calm inside while everyone around him was being deeply affected by these factors. He was getting really quiet inside so he could get to that place where all that was forgotten and nothing mattered but the moment. Just like in practice, his ability to get there from the tip off while others most likely didn’t get there until the second half, made him seem like a God amongst mere mortals. 6
1.1 Inner Game How does this apply to pickup? I think by now it’s probably obvious, but I’ll tie it in to my example from above. My self image in regards to game is relatively high. I have learned to control my mind instead of my mind controlling me, and I have developed competence with my skill set through thousands of approaches. I have acquired a vast knowledge base and I have mastered being in the moment. So, without any extraneous factors, my self concept is high when I walk into a venue to pickup girls. However, if a student says, “Braddock I love your blog, I can’t wait to see you in field tonight.”, my body is going to have an immediate emotional response to that. If I am incapable, choose not to control the emotion, or decide to attribute a bunch of meaning to his statement, then the emotion will manifest in a way that will alter my self concept for that night, maybe the weekend, and possibly, every time I’m on bootcamp. As soon as he says it, I think about it from then until that night, and my logical mind races to find answers for that strange emotion I’m feeling. It often answers these questions with bad answers. I.E. “What if we do bad demos in front of him, will he be disappointed? If he’s disappointed, does that mean that I’m really not as good as I say and believe I am? Wow, we better do well tonight. I hope I don’t get blown out in front of him.” As you can see, this is a slippery slope to kill the current moment and a whole bunch of future moments. Ultimately, I’m attracting the failure that I predicted because that is all I will focus on from the time he makes his statement until I fail miserably allll night long during the demos. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, if I choose to control that emotion, quiet it down to a dull roar, and compartmentalize the students statement as just, “a statement”, then my logical mind will quickly get back to its natural state by realizing that I can’t predict how the demos are going to turn out tonight or any night, and that him wanting to see them or not doesn’t change the level of importance I need to attach to them. All I can do is control the moment I’m in, at that time I’m in it. Once I do this, I will quickly be back on track to enjoying my original self concept before his statement and our super hero Braddock is back to kicking the world in half. Can you see how this applies to all levels of pickup? If I said I wanted you to take a Publishers Clearing House check to a hot girl, you wouldn’t have much of an emotional response to that. Your self image tells you that you can complete that task with ease. You don’t have an emotional response to the idea of completing this task, so your logical mind stays in control and you don’t run 30 “what if” scenarios through your head that would stir emotions to change your self concept. You could walk up, hand her the check, smile, and walk back to your car no problem. Why? You have the skill set required to handle that situation and you don’t attribute more meaning to it than necessary. 7
1.1 Inner Game Now when we take the scenario of going to a venue with the goal of talking to women, a whole host of external factors are introduced that can either increase your self concept or drastically diminish it based on what level of meaning and importance you attach to them. These factors have no real meaning or value and can only affect your self concept IF YOU LET THEM!!! Let’s look at two very different outcomes to two situations that are in all actuality the same. Friday night, you leave the house with your “pickup self concept.” (Whether you are leaving the house with a low or super high self concept is unimportant in regards to the point I’m trying to make here, so as you read this input your self concept here.) Ok, so you leave the house with your self concept and then what happens? All kinds of factors come flying at you from night to night to help increase or decrease your self concept. The first set you open goes ridiculously well. The girls won’t leave you alone. All three of the girls in the set want you bad. You know you can have your pick. Your self concept moves up and you are feeling a new high. You are in the moment and you feel like you can’t be stopped! You feel like you could open a set with Brad Pitt in it and walk away with the girl. One of your hot friends from college happens to be at the same bar and sees that these girls are all over you. She runs over and hugs you. The three girls get even more interested. Over the course of the night, each of the three girls reopens you and tries to get your attention. You open every good set in the venue for no strategic reason other than that you feel good inside and it just feels right. You can’t even remember what you opened them with and they all responded well to you. You get several numbers, make out with the best of the 3 set, and take home your old friend. After banging her like a screen door on a battleship, she falls asleep. You lay awake still riding a high. You feel like all your study of pickup ebooks and DVD’s on game are finally paying off. You can’t wait to go out tomorrow for an even more plentiful bounty. You stare at the ceiling thinking, “Wow, I’m actually glad that my ex girlfriend dumped me. That’s been bothering me forever, but now that this is all coming together, I’m glad she dumped me because look how good I am getting at this. I haven’t felt this good in forever.” Saturday night you are going to go to the exact same venue as the night before. You are still excited about last night and you can’t wait to get to the venue so you can build on the night before. Your friend calls and says he is at your house to pick you up. You can’t hit the door fast enough. However, when you got in your friend’s car, you see that he has brought his loud, asshole, judgmental 8
1.1 Inner Game friend from work to go out with you guys. Damn it! You instantly feel your confidence sag a little. You left the house and you were really feeling it. Your self concept was so high last night, as soon as you see this guy, you have an emotional response and you get out of the moment. You already started attaching meaning to his judgments and thoughts. Sure enough he’s a loud, judgmental asshole in the car and you worry what he’ll say if you get blown out in front of him tonight. You don’t want to open poorly in front of him, because you know how judgmental he is and you can already feel him judging you if you get blown out of a set. You hit the venue and you do 4 laps around the place and hit the bathroom twice instead of just being in the moment and opening because you aren’t feeling it like you were last night. You finally decide to do a set even though you aren’t feeling it. You have been so focused on what that guy will think that you have just been running a movie screen in your head the last 2 hours of you getting blown out and this random asshole friend judging you over and over and over. You open and sure enough you get blown out!!! Now, your self concept takes a slight dip. You immediately spin around hoping he didn’t see. (Truth is, you shouldn’t give a shit. Last night you wouldn’t have cared what this asshole thought. You wouldn’t have even noticed him because you were in the moment). In your mind, you half blame him for putting you in a bad state, but part of you questions yourself and says, “Maybe it’s not that I’m letting this guy stir my emotions, resulting in me questioning my self concept, maybe last night was a fluke and “most” girls really don’t respond to me like that. I mean, it was the first set of the night.” You spin around to find your friend and, “Damn, that guy saw me get blown out and he is giving me that judgmental smirk like he thinks he’s better than me. I hate him.” You give him no satisfaction with your facial expressions or body language , but as you walk around, you feel it inside your stomach and you won’t stop thinking about it. And, you can’t help but wonder, “Maybe he’s right. Is he a judgmental asshole or does he see something in me that I’ve never noticed? He’s right to judge me.” Self concept takes another dip. You half ass open 3 more sets, but you walk up NOWHERE NEAR in the moment. While you open these 3 sets, your mind is back in the past rehashing your first blow out wondering what you did wrong with those girls and you are still pondering if the asshole friend knows something about you that you should feel insecure about. 9
1.1 Inner Game Sooo, the girls in these next 3 sets feel a strange incongruence when you walk up. You are trying to be funny and interesting, you are using the same openers and material that you used last night, but they aren’t having it. They can feel it. They know you have an agenda and they can feel that you subtly are hoping they give you their approval. Your voice, or your face, or something about you betrays your funny jokes and interesting stories and sheds light on a guy who is strangely not in the moment. All 3 sets blow you out worse than the Patriot’s did the Chargers in week 3. Now you have decided that this is SOLID PROOF that you are bad with women and that last night was undoubtedly a fluke. You see a girl you used to date at the same venue and she is flirting with a guy you assume is no doubt better than you in every way possible. You stare longingly and just a split second longer tonight than you would have if you bumped into her last night when you owned the venue! She sees and feels your needy stare. Her self concept takes a spike up and she gives you some weak ass wave and a half smile, and then gives some asshole a big hug and a deep kiss. Your self concept takes another dip. You grab your friend and his dick friend and head home. In the car ride home, asshole friend asks you several condescending questions about why those girls were so rude to you. You hate him more, but you internalize some of the horse shit coming out of his mouth as truth. You finally get home, lay in bed, and wonder if you should have married your ex girlfriend. Last night, you thought you were completely over her, and now your chest hurts worse than ever before. You question if all this game shit you’ve read is even real, and you spend an hour pondering how you could have such an amazing night last night and such a horrible night tonight. “I’ve had both of those nights Braddock ..... So, what the hell???? Your self concept is high on Friday! Is it real? Yes. Were you right to feel all of those feelings or is that just being delusional from a bunch of random luck? No, it wasn’t luck. You were allowing your true self concept to drive the bus because no external factors got in its way or pushed it down. Now, had that first set gone poorly, would your night have been completely different? Would I have had a shit night instead? Awww....This is where the men are separated from the boys. Those who have great inner game can feel this high regardless of the momentum or lack thereof created by the first set, the asshole friend, his negative judgmental mindsets, or the last 3 blowouts.
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1.1 Inner Game The external meaning you are attributing to how your first set goes is determining your entire night, good or bad. This is a scary place to be, because you need the moon, the sun, and the stars to line up just perfectly every night or you are not going to have a good night. You know your inner game has reached a high level when you could go 0 for 10 or 10 for 10 in any given night and your self concept is unchanged. When the asshole friend in the car annoys you, but ONLY in the car, when you open your first set and his judgments mean nothing to you, when you leave that set and he gives you a dick head look, and it annoys you ONLY while your eyes are on his face, but it carries ZERO negative momentum into the next set, then you will stay in the moment and your self concept will maintain a constant level all night. Now, once you learn to be in the moment, does this mean you will never get blown out? Does it mean that you will get every girl? NOOOO!! Don’t confuse self concept and being in the moment as the same thing. They do feed each other, but they are two very different things. Gandhi is most likely in the moment at all times, but that does not mean he can pickup girls in a bar. He only has half of the puzzle. His self concept in regards to pickup is still low. He has never done the reading, never opened countless sets, and never developed a skill set. (I stand corrected.... Gandhi stone cold pimpin! LoL) Being in the moment allows you to truly increase your self concept in an area. Remember that your self concept is defined as what you truly believe your skill set is in any given area, not what you wish it was, and not some bullshit affirmation of, “I think I can.” It’s what you truly believe it to be at any given moment. Being in the moment, COMPLETELY in that moment, allows you to see where your actual self concept is. When you are playing video games, you are completely in the moment. Horrible or great at that video game, you have an honest measuring stick of your self concept in regards to that video game. Sometimes, it’s hard for us to measure our true self concept in regards to pickup, because we allow our self concept to go up and down sooo much from day to day based on a bunch of meaning we attach to external factors and our complete lack of being in the moment. It can make our game look way worse than it really is. Then we get in a good state, aka (being in the moment), randomly because a bunch of factors went right or we randomly didn’t attach a bunch of meaning to these outside factors, and BAM, our true self concept shines through and we have a great night. 11
1.1 Inner Game However, this up and down creates confusion over time ESPECIALLY when we have more bad nights than good nights. Once we learn to correlate that usually “a bad night” was more about us not being in the moment, and stop attributing it to a lack of knowledge, then our game reaches new heights. When you hear that someone has “good game”, this means that he spends more time operating in the moment and that he has a high self concept in pickup, NOT necessarily that he has read more pickup books than you. I.E. naturals. They are in the moment and have cultivated a skill set. There are soooo many other facets that can help your inner game , but if you can ever master these two, then you will see a drastic change in your life. Ok, that’s all the time we have for today. I would like to thank all my guests. Until next time, remember, if you have children who act up, continue to beat them until moral improves. This message has been brought to you by the number 4 and the letter L. Your fearless Leader, Braddock
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1.2 Change Your Life NOW!!!!!!! http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/49480-change-your-life-now.html Had a one on one in Dallas this weekend. Really cool guy. I love one on one’s because, while you are really helping someone get their game solid, you also learn a shitload about yourself. It’s really fun to watch a guy progress, and to break through insecurities and sticking points that have been like chains holding him down. As a student opens his mind and works through a sticking point, it’s like seeing a new person. There were a couple of things that I learned this weekend that I want to share. After working with this student and he told me what was bothering him, I remembered that these were issues that had once plagued me and really held me back for a long, long time. Once I dealt with them, I felt like my game exploded and I had more fun going out and learning pickup. 1. Relax! If you make pickup so important that you feel like every set is the Super Bowl, then that’s exactly how each one will feel. After just a few weeks of going out with that kind of pressure following you, it will only be a matter of time before you will no longer enjoy going out. So, after just a few weeks of going out, you will be burnt out, unhappy, and feel like there is something wrong with you. “Why am I not learning this? How come it’s so hard for me? Maybe, I just suck at this. Maybe, I need to go home and read pickup for 6 hours per day instead of 5 hours per day.” HAHA!! Bullshit! Reading more will not fix this issue. What you need to do is refocus your mind. Go out with specific goals for the week. (Example: “I am going out for the next two weeks and I will use X opener, X transition, X story, X cold read and I will try to isolate at least one girl in every set and I will try to bounce at least one girl around the club and get into deep comfort with her. If I do most of these things then I will know that I was successful on the night.” By setting goals like the ones above, you have measurable, attainable, realistic goals for the night. Saying, “I want to have sex with a 10 and I want to go 10 for 10 with my sets and get 10 phone numbers”, or “My friend started reading this when I did. Look how good he’s doing. If I don’t do at least as good as he does, then I suck.” This kind of goal setting fucks you hard!!!!!!! The goals are not realistic, you don’t allow yourself room to grow, and no matter how great the outcome, you don’t allow yourself to build momentum from the small successes. What if you fucked an 8, opened 5 for 10 and got 3 phone numbers and one of them was a 10? Wouldn’t that have been a damn good night?!
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1.2 Change Your Life Now!!!!!!! Not if you are putting bullshit restrictions on how you measure your own success. Ever play sports? If you went 2 for 5 in baseball with a double and a bloop single to win the game, but you struck out 3 times, you would not be down on yourself because your friend went 5 for 5 that day. LoL. See how ridiculous that kind of thinking is? I used to do that all the time. 2. Learn in the field: I know everyone says this, but damn this is by far the biggest mistake everyone, INCLUDING ME, makes. If you think you are going to read for 6 months, buying every product ever made and then one day you will compile the master routine that will allow you to walk into a venue and rattle off this phantom sequence and BAM! girl’s clothes will just start fallling off, you are sadly, sadly, mistaken. You do need to do your homework, but you will learn more in 1 set in the field, than 60 hours worth of reading. In fact, the reading really won’t make that much sense or even help that much until you have been in the field and been in the exact situation the author is talking about. You could read for the next 7 years about how to play tennis and then go play someone who had read nothing but took a 30 min lesson, and they would likely kick your fucking ass. Same applies here. Books that I thought were shit when I first started this mean a lot to me now, and books and lines that I thought would be amazing in the field, now make me laugh at how shitty they are. It’s so easy to peg the guys on bootcamp who have read everything but haven’t done much field time. They know all the theory, know all the routines by heart, usually better than I do, and love to correct the instructors and other students on what they “think you should do” in said situation. Then, when you go out that night, they either look gun shy, or make tons of rookie mistakes, or they think they are much farther along in set than they really are. I can watch a guy in set and tell you if he is in a, “friendly conversation” or if he is making progress toward getting the girl. These guys have all the advice in the world and a million stories that nobody can confirm. DON’T BE LIKE THAT!!!! What a fucking waste of time and life. Being an arm chair QB is like reading about how fun roller coasters are, never actually getting on one, yet telling everyone how great they are?!?! Why would you do that!??? Even if you don’t brag and correct others, you are still dying inside knowing that you should be doing more. Why read all of this shit if you aren’t going to use it??? I’m not trying to be mean; I’m trying to make a point. I know why they don’t do it. The same reason I didn’t. You still only half believe it’s real or you are scared shitless of it not being real, or you are scared shitless of facing the inevitable rejection associated with risking your ego and putting it on the line, set, after set, or you have read way too much of this shit and your brain goes haywire in set trying to remember every fucking routine you ever read!
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1.2 Change Your Life Now!!!!!!! You are talking about me, so, what do I do Braddock??? Set realistic goals!!! Go out a realistic amount every week. Make it fun. Set small goals that add up to equal your big goals. Add just one piece of material every couple of weeks and only add a piece after you have done X number of sets. Going out 3 times per week doesn’t really count as 3 times if you only opened 2 sets each night. Go out and do the dirty work, pay the price, but do it in small chunks while realizing that not any one set matters. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Stop bullshitting others and more importantly stop bullshitting yourself!!! I have friends who lie about how many girls they’ve fucked in order to impress others. FYI.... Nobody gives a shit for one, and two, they probably know you are lying and just aren’t calling you out on it to avoid an awkward intervention over something stupid. But they don’t talk shit when you aren’t around. Soooo, stop doing it. Just worry about your progress. Stop giving a fuck about what anyone thinks about you. Stop worrying about how good or bad your friends are doing. Stop talking about it with them. Use TheMysteryMethod forums to discuss this shit. Stop talking about it with your friends good or bad! Your friends will not be much help. If you do great, they will find a way to tear you down a little. If you are shitty at pickup, they will be full of advice that is horrible. Nothing makes me laugh harder than when one of my friends gives me or someone else in my circle advice on how to pickup girls when they haven’t put in the time to even know if what they are saying is true. My point is this: you are your own best compass. Only take advice from those who have been in the trenches and earned their stripes. Donald Trump doesn’t ask me how to buy real estate and I don’t read his book hoping for advice on how to pickup girls. Find your own center and go get your hands dirty in the field. Once you have done that to the point where you feel like you can look yourself in the mirror and honestly say, “Wow! I’ve done a shitload of approaches. They haven’t all gone well, but I have honestly done a ridiculous amount of approaches.” When you can say that, then go back and grab those pickup books and start reading. It will all make so much more sense and you will be able to go apply the material at a much faster rate, because you will have a point of reference. Second, you won’t have to take everything they say as fact! I remember when I first started, I thought some of the stuff I read sounded really fucking gay, but I had to take it as fact in my head because they were supposedly gurus.
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1.2 Change Your Life Now!!!!!!! After I did a bunch of sets, I could look at material and tell what was really useful and what was just some shit that a nerd threw together to make a quick buck. I had no idea what was what until I had extensive time in field. So, PUT THE FUCKING BOOKS DOWN AND GO OUT!!! STOP READING THIS POST AND GO OUT!!!!! I’m serious. Life is not lived on the computer reading about how someone else is leading the life you wish you had. Fuck that. Steal the knowledge, but go create your own stories and experiences. The only difference between a guy with a bad ass lifestyle and a guy with a boring one is action. His life wasn’t always the shit, I promise. -Of the time you allot to pickup, Read 20% go out 80%. -Don’t beat yourself up over rejections from girls that you’ll never see again. -Have the mental frame that, “The first 2,000 approaches don’t count.” How can it be the super bowl if you still have 1,999 approaches to go before it even matters?!?! -Set small goals you can reach and journal everyday. Look back in a few months and I think you will be surprised at how much closer you are to reaching some of the larger goals. -Stop bitching about other people!!! “If only I had a wing. If only I this or that.” -Fuck excuses. They are just things you are choosing not to overcome, because you don’t want your goal bad enough. If I said go open 20 sets or I’ll blow your mom’s fucking head off!!!! Would you say, “Well, Braddock , I would like to do that. I mean I love my mom and I want to really, really bad! But, I don’t have a good wing.” Fuck no! You would open 20 sets in 10 min to save your mom, but you won’t open 20 in a week to develop the lifestyle you fucking want and deserve????????? None of this is meant to be mean. I just know how bad my girl situation was at one time. Looking back, I just needed a kick in the ass. Trample the weak and hurdle the dead, -B
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1.3 Q and A on Wings and Cutting Old Friends http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61176-q-wings-cutting-old-friends.html I hope someone finds this useful. Here are a couple of questions I received and here are my answers. Question 1: “I’m in a sticky situation. I am a 21 year old who goes to a small college in Baltimore that is crawling with hippies and weirdos. No one over 21 is interested in going out to the bars. I do well when I hit the bar with a wing, but I’m apprehensive about going out alone. I tried finding wings on the forums and they are scarce too. What should I do? “ Question 2: “Do you think I should cut out my old friends and get new ones?” First off, lolololol “hippies and weirdo’s.” That literally made me laugh. I hate hippies! Especially hippy girls. It’s really not a political thing, it’s just that they always stink and never seem to be hot. I know exactly what you’re going through. It was extremely hard for me to find friends who were down with this when I first started. My closest friends are kinda naturals and I didn’t even want to tell them I was reading this sort of stuff. They would never have understood. I also suggest you don’t tell those in your closest circle unless you know you can trust them. Every time you go out they will be like, “Let’s see it man. I thought you read that shit. I thought you said it worked? Why do you ask them those fucked up questions about your friend’s ex girlfriend? That’s stupid.” Fuck all that! Just mysteriously become a fucking pimp and when they ask how you do it, just say, “I don’t know man, girls just like me I guess. Just be yourself.” lololol The truth is, there is no quick fix to your wing problem. However, until you do find a decent wing, realize that going out alone isn’t as bad you think it is. If anyone asks where your friends are just say, “They’re here somewhere.” They usually don’t even ask. Keep this in mind too. I think the best wings are not the guys with great game. As a matter of fact, they will accidentally fuck you more than a normal dude. The best wing for me is a decent looking guy who won’t say anything to fuck it up, but he won’t say anything to get the girls that are interested in him either. My favorite wing goes out with me all the time and I get laid every night and he almost never does. But, he never fucks it up for me either.
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1.3 Q and A on Wings and Cutting Old Friends He doesn’t approach really, but if I bring girls to him he will talk to them and not freak them out or bore them. Most importantly, he never fucks up my game. A new guy trying to learn all this shit is often the worst wing , because they are trying to run game at the same time you are and it just comes across really weird (not because his game is bad or good, just because you have 2 guys excited about gaming and both guys bring it in every set. 2 guys gaming hard across each other never really works out). What I do is go out with my wing or a group of cool guys and I merely use them as a home base between sets. Somewhere for me to go when I’m not in set. I don’t count on them for shit as far as pickup. They are fucking horrible! lol But they give me social proof and I actually like the guys so even if I’m not running game, I’m genuinely having fun. (Having people you can genuinely have fun with is ten times more powerful for your game than having a guy who is willing to go open sets.) I guess the biggest point I’m trying to make here is that the whole “wing “ thing is not that big of a deal like everyone says it is. The only good thing about having a wing is when he is a motivated mother fucker that holds you accountable and makes you go out: a guy who won’t let you pussy out and say you are tired or this bar, is dead, or whatever excuse we often make. Don’t let not having a wing keep you from developing the lifestyle and game you want. I know it sucks, but just keep going out and meeting people. You are likely to meet a wing on accident at the bar. I’d much rather meet a guy who is already going, over trying to talk some mother fucker into getting off the couch. Answer to Question 2: Notice that in answering question one I did not say ditch all your old friends and get new ones who are good at pickup. NOOOOOOO!!!! When guys say that on here I think it creates great confusion. If you have a great set of friends who are supportive, deeply care about you, and who make your quality of life better, then why would you cut them out of your life just because they have no game???????? That’s ridiculous. I think if you will read the posts from instructors or guys with a vast amount of experience, you will read posts on cutting people out of your life who you come to realize are toxic. This is totally different. Often times you will end up cutting previously close friends out of your life after you have been in the community for a while. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE GAME!!!! 18
1.3 Q and A on Wings and Cutting Old Friends You are talking about me, so, what do I do Braddock??? Set realistic goals!!! Go out a realistic amount every week. Make it fun. Set small goals that add up to equal your big goals. Add just one piece of material every couple of weeks and only add a piece after you have done X number of sets. Going out 3 times per week doesn’t really count as 3 times if you only opened 2 sets each night. Go out and do the dirty work, pay the price, but do it in small chunks while realizing that not any one set matters. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Stop bullshitting others and more importantly stop bullshitting yourself!!! I have friends who lie about how many girls they’ve fucked in order to impress others. FYI.... Nobody gives a shit for one, and two, they probably know you are lying and just aren’t calling you out on it to avoid an awkward intervention over something stupid. But they don’t talk shit when you aren’t around. Soooo, stop doing it. Just worry about your progress. Stop giving a fuck about what anyone thinks about you. Stop worrying about how good or bad your friends are doing. Stop talking about it with them. Use TheMysteryMethod forums to discuss this shit. Stop talking about it with your friends good or bad! Your friends will not be much help. If you do great, they will find a way to tear you down a little. If you are shitty at pickup, they will be full of advice that is horrible. Nothing makes me laugh harder than when one of my friends gives me or someone else in my circle advice on how to pickup girls when they haven’t put in the time to even know if what they are saying is true. My point is this: you are your own best compass. Only take advice from those who have been in the trenches and earned their stripes. Donald Trump doesn’t ask me how to buy real estate and I don’t read his book hoping for advice on how to pickup girls. Find your own center and go get your hands dirty in the field. Once you have done that to the point where you feel like you can look yourself in the mirror and honestly say, “Wow! I’ve done a shitload of approaches. They haven’t all gone well, but I have honestly done a ridiculous amount of approaches.” When you can say that, then go back and grab those pickup books and start reading. It will all make so much more sense and you will be able to go apply the material at a much faster rate, because you will have a point of reference. Second, you won’t have to take everything they say as fact! I remember when I first started, I thought some of the stuff I read sounded really fucking gay, but I had to take it as fact in my head because they were supposedly gurus.
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1.3 Q and A on Wings and Cutting Old Friends After I did a bunch of sets, I could look at material and tell what was really useful and what was just some shit that a nerd threw together to make a quick buck. I had no idea what was what until I had extensive time in field. So, PUT THE FUCKING BOOKS DOWN AND GO OUT!!! STOP READING THIS POST AND GO OUT!!!!! I’m serious. Life is not lived on the computer reading about how someone else is leading the life you wish you had. Fuck that. Steal the knowledge, but go create your own stories and experiences. The only difference between a guy with a bad ass lifestyle and a guy with a boring one is action. His life wasn’t always the shit, I promise. -Of the time you allot to pickup, Read 20% go out 80%. -Don’t beat yourself up over rejections from girls that you’ll never see again. -Have the mental frame that, “The first 2,000 approaches don’t count.” How can it be the super bowl if you still have 1,999 approaches to go before it even matters?!?! -Set small goals you can reach and journal everyday. Look back in a few months and I think you will be surprised at how much closer you are to reaching some of the larger goals. -Stop bitching about other people!!! “If only I had a wing. If only I this or that.” -Fuck excuses. They are just things you are choosing not to overcome, because you don’t want your goal bad enough. If I said go open 20 sets or I’ll blow your mom’s fucking head off!!!! Would you say, “Well, Braddock , I would like to do that. I mean I love my mom and I want to really, really bad! But, I don’t have a good wing.” Fuck no! You would open 20 sets in 10 min to save your mom, but you won’t open 20 in a week to develop the lifestyle you fucking want and deserve????????? None of this is meant to be mean. I just know how bad my girl situation was at one time. Looking back, I just needed a kick in the ass. Trample the weak and hurdle the dead, -B
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1.4 Do You Bring Value or Take it???? http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61179-do-you-bring-value-take.html This is from my blog......... As Dennis Miller used to say, “I don’t mean to go on a rant here but.....” I’m on the plane heading home. I love flying out of L.A. at night. It’s unreal how big this city is. This weekend was a blast. It was a grind going for 5 days straight, but if I sound like I’m complaining, I’m not. Wednesday and Thursday, Dahunter and I taught our class and it went really well. I talked to the guy the day after and he said we changed his life!!! That’s the best feeling ever. He picked up the info really quick and was kicking ass by the second night. It was cool to watch. He said when he got home he went out that night and had like 5 make outs and could have slept with several girls. The first night we went to one of the best clubs in L.A. I know a girl who is kind of a socialite out there and she hooked us up. She’s an L.A. 10, so all of the club promoters kiss her ass. She made one call and we were in. Nice to know people. If you ever want to see how quickly the human mind can resort to it’s darker recesses, just study the club promoters outside of an exclusive club in L.A. No offense if you are one, and I’m sure I could write this about a million different subjects, it applies to most people. I don’t completely blame promoters for acting like dicks, because they have the same feeling a celebrity has at times. People don’t talk to “you” they talk to the club promoter that they need something from. They don’t think you are cool because of your intrinsic value as a human being, they think you are cool because of what you can do for them. I personally can identify with the feeling of contempt that this can create, because you see a side of people you never knew existed. It’s like that line out of that song by Mike Jones….. “Back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot, they all on me.”
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1.4 Do You Bring Value or Take it???? People can have no cooth when they need something and have no idea how desperate and selfish they look. They ask for something without bringing any value to you in return, and then if you can’t give them that value, or just say no, they shut off the fake smile and the charm and move on to the next person they think can help them meet their needs. These vampires like you right now, but the second that your one piece of leverage is gone or they have extracted all the value they can from you, they will move on to the next body to suck blood from without so much as a thanks and when you need help they are nowhere to be found. I think a healthy person looks at this for what it is. We are all the vampire at times and we are all the leverage holder at times. The best way to handle these situations is to not attach much, if any, identity value to either of these roles and work toward always bringing value in as many relationships as you can, so you don’t have to be the vampire quite as often or if life forces you to be the vampire, you have brought so much value in the past that you are not seen as a desperate value leech. If you have value to exchange then you aren’t the one constantly begging or desperately fighting for the scraps that fall off the table of those that do retain the value that you desire. However, if you ever find yourself in a short lived or situational setting where you are the value holder, don’t let it go to your head. Don’t assume that because you have something that people want or need that it makes you better than others. Don’t get me wrong, I think you should try to set up as many of these situations in your life as possible, because they do make life easier and they seem to attract more and more opportunities just like this, but they do not make you better intrinsically than others. The club promoters that I met this weekend seemed to really buy into their own bullshit. I’m willing to bet that those guys have little to no value outside of that venue and only have this limited value even here on specific nights. However, for 3 hours per night they are GOD!!! They decide whether you get to play in that club or not. Everyone wants what they control and everyone pretends to like them in order to obtain access. However, what I found hilarious is how much they seemed to really believe that they are somebody. They really think that gate keeper role they play a couple nights per week is who they really are at their core!!!!! LOLOLOLOL This same asshole may have no education, live paycheck to paycheck, no solid relationships in his life, and sleep on his friends couch, but because he controls a list 3 nights a week, he has attached a deep sense of self to that one piece of value he controls.
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1.4 Do You Bring Value or Take it???? I always wonder if people like him walk around in their normal life acting like they are better than people. Does he walk around treating everyone like he is better than them???? I hope not, but sadly I assume he does. I was in a frat for a while in college and I remember it being split in half. Half the guys were cool as fuck and saw the frat for what it was - a great place to meet a ton of friends, drink tons of beer, have parties with tons of girls, and network for later in life. The other half of the guys were complete dick suckers who thought they were cool because they were in that frat. They attached a deep identity meaning to the fucking letters on the outside of the door of the house!!! LOLOLOL How fucking retarded. They would talk differently to people who weren’t in a certain frat and treat them like shit and they would suck the dicks of guys in certain frats that they considered cool!!!!???? I can understand you having more or less respect for this company or that company or that team or this team or this athlete or that athlete or this doctor or that doctor because of the work they put into earning that title. I have mad respect for Michael Jordan and might even talk to him a little different than I would most people because I would be excited to meet him. If I met John Stockton……not so much. But being picked to join a frat during rush week is not a title that you earned and it’s not a value that should help you flesh out your core identity. It’s merely a group you belong to where the people in the group enjoy you and you enjoy them. If you joined a certain frat so you could jerk yourself off and tell yourself and each other how cool you are and how much better your frat is than that one than you are fucking up bad!!! Hell, even titles you earn mean little to nothing in regard to how you should value yourself and definitely not how you should treat others. This doesn’t mean you should go around kissing people’s ass or even going all Dale Carnegie on them. I personally don’t think you should give people any more respect than they’ve earned, if you’ve ever given a girl more respect than she’s earned than you know how this can blow up in your face! But, this does not mean that you should treat people like shit or with disrespect either.
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1.4 Do You Bring Value or Take it???? The frat boy who is delusional about how cool he is because of what frat he is in, and the club promoter who thinks he is God, are equally disgusting to me. Attaching an identity meaning to random sources of value sets you on a slippery slope to an addiction you can never satisfy. It will be your frat, then money, then women, then cars, bla bla bla. I’m not saying all these things are bad. I personally want tons of money, tons of options with women, high status, and great relationships, but not because they will create an identity that I desperately cling to no matter what. No, I want them because they are all tools to help me develop a fun and interesting lifestyle that I would want. With or without them, my identity and core values are unchanged. With them, my life is closer aligned to what I want my life to look like, but if I couldn’t have them for any number of reasons then I’m still me. My internal value and identity are maintained at all cost. This lesson has taken me years to learn and I learned it the hard way. I thought if I had a hot girlfriend then that’s “who I was” or if I was a great athlete or if I hung out with certain people, or if I made this group of people happy or if my parents liked what I was doing, then that was me. That’s all bullshit. Not because it doesn’t matter who you surround yourself with. The company you keep can make or break your life, but they also should not be what you draw your core value from. The main point here is this, if you ever find yourself in a position like the club promoter just realize that it’s merely a tool. It’s merely a value that you have obtained and a great one at that. Learn how to use it to help you meet other ends. Use it to help you obtain shitloads of win win situations in your life. Use it to create great connections in your life that you couldn’t acquire otherwise. Crush the social leeches that use you as a win for them/loss for you and find the people who are willing to make a value trade with you. Like I said though, it’s just a tool. Use it as such. Don’t attach internal meanings to external values. This is why rockstars and celebrities end up killing themselves. They buy into their own bullshit. They have attached all their internal meaning to this star they have become. At their core they know they are just people and that at the end of the day all that shit is just a hat they wear. It’s not who they are at their core. But if you don’t know that, then you just will constantly be trying to fill a bucket with a massive fucking hole in it.
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1.4 Do You Bring Value or Take it???? Go become the baddest mother fucker you can. Be and do everything you ever wanted to do. Go at it like you will fucking die in 6 months, but don’t attach your entire identity to external events, possessions, or people trophies I.E. “I have this girl on my arm so now I’m somebody.” Do all this shit because you really just want it in your life. I want it for me, but not to define me. Alright, enough Gandhi shit from me for one day……… Sha boy…………………Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
2.1 Oneitis??
- FUCK ONEITIS
- How to Get Over Her
- The Benefit of Moving on
2.2 Q & A on Love
- The Chemical Additiction
- The Dumper Vs. the Dumpee
2.3 Girl Has a Boyfriend, But I Know She Likes Me
- What Would Murder Her Attraction
- The Right Way to Play it
2.4 “I Don’t Chase......I Replace.”
- The Abundance Mentality
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2.1 Oneitis?? http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61174-oneitus.html Jazz flute is for sissy fairy boys and so is oneitis. I’ve had a lot of people emailing me recently asking how to get over a oneitis. Here is a post that I made a while back that I think is useful.
FUCK ONEITIS Losing a girl feels worse than a kick in the fucking nuts. You would do anything to leave this site and just have her back and all your pain would go away! Yeaaaaaahh! Listen man, I know this doesn’t help now and it will only help if you’re the kind of guy who takes massive action in the face of crippling pain. But, I’m telling you I was dating a fucking amazingly hot, cool, smart girl. She dumped me. I thought I was going to fucking die!!! bla bla bla right? Worse year of my life. Guess what though man.... I know this is cliché, but I’m glad we are done. Yeah, I still miss her at times, but fucking shit, look where I’ve come! If I had her back now, I’d be the same guy. I’ve pushed myself to new heights in so many areas of my life. IF you get back with that “perfect” girl, your pain will leave for a while, but when you’re old someday, you will wonder what life would have been like if you would have fucking let go and became who you are about to be. She was, and is, holding you back. Let it sting only for a few moments per day. She is controlling your ass and she doesn’t even want to be. Bitch slap the fuck out of yourself and decide that only you will control your happiness. You enjoyed that girl, you miss her, you are sad at times, but you wouldn’t change a fucking thing. GET THERE GOD DAMN IT!!!!! Don’t lay in this shitty feeling. I’ve been there. I almost lost my job over it. I almost didn’t go to Law school over it. What a fucking joke. Take full responsibility for who you are and don’t look back. In 1 year, if you put in the work, you will laugh at this girl. Listen man, I know it hurts, I spent an entire year suffering over a girl. Lost weight, neglected my life, and burned a FULL YEAR of my short life hurting over a fucking girl!! WHAT?!?!?!? 27
2.1 Oneitis?? Understand that there are literally BILLIONS OF GIRLS. The guy you will be in a year is not the guy that this hoe rejected, but ONLY if you take proper action. Don’t let that fool you though. Don’t change and become better for this girl. DO IT FOR YOU!!!! I know. You hurt and you only want to know what will make you feel better in this moment. Take the pain, recover and move forward. THERE ARE BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS OUT THERE! But, but, Braddock I love her!!! She’s different, you don’t’ understand!!!!” Every guy on this site has said that weak shit. You don’t find this site on accident. No Goddamn it, step up to the fucking plate and tell yourself NO FUCKING MORE! This bitch better enjoy today, cause it’s the last day I will giver her my power and allow her to choose how I will feel about myself and life. I will better myself everyday and one day I will reflect on this and realize that she was a cool chick and I hope she is happy. I have taken myself to a new level and it’s all for the better that she dumped me, cause at my new level I would have had to dump her. Respect yourself and allow her no more real estate in your head and let’s start moving to positive things. The work will be hard and you will have highs and lows. Decide that you are going to better yourself a little today. A little every day and all of a sudden you will look up and you won’t recognize who you are. You won’t need this bitch’s validation. You will be battle hardened and you will love the new you. Right now that is hard to believe. Fine. Don’t believe me, just trust me. Every day when you wake up and your fucking chest hurts, just close your eyes and say, “Today might be tough, but I’m going to take at least one step toward making myself a better person than I was yesterday.” Do this for a full fucking year and you won’t even remember who you were. The alternative is to wallow in your bullshit and piss and moan and wish things were different. “Only if you had her back your life would be perfect. IF only you had her back, your grades would be good. If only you had her back, you would work out and get the body you’ve always wanted.” BULLSHIT! Accept who you are and kill that weak mother fucker. Tell yourself you are sad about her, but that something has to die for something new to grow. I miss her, but it had to happen for the new me to become a reality.
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2.1 Oneitis?? Step up hommie! It hurts. It hurts so goddamn bad! I know it does. But what you choose to do right now will determine who you are for the rest of your life. Step up to this challenge and take it head on like a fucking man. There is no other option. Take the pain and push through it. The only way through hell is straight through it. Best, Braddock
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2.2 Q & A on Love http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/82719-q-love.html
I get a lot of emails about this and I also get a lot of emails asking me how to get an old girlfriend to like you again. Question: “Does anyone know how love works chemically?” 30
2.2 Q & A on Love Answer: Based on my reading and study of the brain, it seems that the scientific definition of love would be “chemical addiction.” More specifically, love is an addiction to the peptides you have created and associated to a specific person. In any relationship (good or bad), your brain will fire off a batch of peptides that will make the experience of the relationship feel in a way that both parties become accustomed to. After feeling this way for a long time, both of their bodies will become so used to feeling this way that they will feel discomfort and pain at even the idea of not having those chemicals (IE. breaking up). When they do break up, every memory is painful because it is a reminder that you are no longer getting those chemicals. This reminder comes in the form of pain. It turns out that our brain is hardwired to attach a specific emotional footprint to everything, every person you meet, every experience (good or bad), and to every memory you have. This is why you might hear a song that you haven’t heard since high school and you immediately smile and have a flash back of riding in a car with all of your old high school buddies. This is why you might feel sad when you hear a song that you and your old girlfriend used to listen to when you were at your happiest point in your relationship. It makes you sad because you instantly think of that moment when you felt so good and then your body is thrown back to the present moment of realizing that you don’t have access to her and the feelings (peptides) she gave you. If the pull is strong enough (the addiction), you will feel compelled to call her, email her, or drive by her house, in an attempt to get those feelings (peptide rush/your fix). On a logical level, you may know this is a stupid thing to do, but if the hurt/addiction is strong enough, you will act despite the fact that you know it’s a stupid move. Why would your body do this to you? Why would it put you through this? It’s actually just doing its job. It has evolved to put this peptide footprint on all of your memories to protect you. It wants you to remember to move toward pleasure and away from pain. This is why when you burn your hand on a stove at 4 years old, you will get a feeling (peptide rush) of anxiety or fear when you look at/go near a stove for the rest of your life. That feeling (peptide rush) is a nice safety mechanism to keep you from making that same mistake over and over. If every memory has a different peptide tied to it, then this explains why it’s so hard to move on after a breakup and why it’s so hard to experience change. Does anyone have a friend who still talks about his high school football days and he graduated 5 years ago? 31
2.2 Q & A on Love Why is he doing this? Because if he was good at football then he likely has a very good feeling (peptide rush) attached to any memory of football. It is also likely that nothing in his life has given him an equivalent rush since. He is an addict. He is still going through the withdrawals (just like a drug addict). He had likely been playing football for years and then all of a sudden, he graduates and football, the source of his good feeling (peptide rush), is ripped from him. So, what he does now is constantly talk about it, watch ESPN 15 hours per day, and even watches his old high school films because it gives him a small fix of those old peptides that used to make him feel so good. Can you see how this plays out in the same way when a relationship ends and why some relationships that LOGICALLY should end, never do? Even though the feelings are long gone and they now hate each other, they can’t leave because it means an end to the source of the most powerful drug (peptides) their bodies have ever experienced. Their logical mind tries to pull them away through fighting, arguing, cheating, etc…. but at the end of the day their addiction pulls them back together so they can get their fix. Why is the dumper usually ok and the dumpee always crushed? It’s just like the football player example from above. The dumper slowly broke their addiction over time by weaning themselves of the other person until they are no longer addicted. Once this happens, they can walk away with little or no pain. The dumpee is CRUSHED not because of the fairy tale bullshit reasons we all hear in love songs and movies….that’s simply the physical form of the true reason….No, the dumpee is crushed because someone has taken their drugs when they were still highly addicted. If the feeling you shared with that girl created a peptide cocktail that felt so good it made you euphoric, then you are ingesting a very powerful drug. If that drug is ripped from you when you aren’t ready, then you will suffer from the EXACT symptoms of a drug addict who is suffering from the withdrawal pains the first couple of weeks when they’re in rehab. The pain can be so bad that you will do ANYTHING to get your fix (her), back, even if you were telling your friends a week ago that she annoyed you and that you kind of wanted to shop around. That is the talk of a logical man who is getting his fix. Take his fix away and you have a mumbling drug addict scrambling around feigning for a hit. He will mistake this feeling for love for her. He will think that she must have been the greatest woman on the planet. “If I feel this bad, I must have made a huge mistake.” All this is bullshit, but it’s like telling a crack addict he needs to quit. He will give you all kinds of excuses and rationalizations for why he needs the drug.
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2.2 Q & A on Love This is also why so many men and women will “relationship hop.” Ever have a friend who CONSTANTLY has to have a girlfriend? Instead of becoming addicted to one person, these people are addicted to having a relationship. They will dump one and replace them with one similar and get the same feeling (peptide rush). Every girl or guy they date is almost exactly the same and they may even bitch about not being able to find a good guy or girl. This is because they haven’t hit pause long enough to get over their current addiction. If they never break this cycle they will literally replay the same bad relationship over and over and over with new people for the rest of their lives. They will just keep finding a new person who fits the bill close enough to give them the peptides their bodies crave. Mr. M and I go into great detail on the role of peptides and addiction in many areas of life, game, and how it affects us, in our new Inner Game Seminar. -Braddock
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2.3 Girl Has a Boyfriend, But I Know She Likes Me http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/108183-girl-has-boyfriend-but-i-know-she-likesme-braddock.html Originally Posted by massive Hey guys. i have a good problem to share here, lets hear your inputs. i knew a girl frm a working enviroment. when we first met, we were normal, jus like how we were in a working environment. everything is usual and fine for a few months and becoz this work for me is a temporal work, i wont be hangin around for long. so during the last month of my work there, things started to heat up, we had long conversations on msn, i had ran thru EPM there then, then i made a date with her on the phone, got blown away if i remember correctly coz that was a few months back. so we resume back on msn, i seeded stuffs from my home that she HAS to see. up til a point, we wanted to meet and she comes to my place. i full close her on the 2nd time she was here. so the question is. 1) she has a bf in that same working environment. and i knew about this all along, she told me frm in the early stages of our conversation. i didnt give a shit then, but now, i give a shit. obviously she isnt satisfied/happy with her bf but there is something still lingering on between them that is causing her to still be with him, how i can find out this and move things further between me and her. Answer: It would take me 3 hours to write “how exactly to progress things along,” but instead of that, I’ll tell you what will MURDER THIS!!! - pushing for a relationship with her. Right now, she is getting to have her cake and eat it too. For all you know, she fucking LOVES this guy, but enjoys banging you. We don’t like to think girls are like that, but sometimes, they are. Maybe that’s not the case. Maybe you are right. It’s possible that things are rocky and that she is just working out the final death throws of that relationship. If that is the case, then the worst thing you can do is push or act in any way as if you are emotionally not getting enough from her. 34
2.3 Girl Has a Boyfriend, But I Know She Likes Me Have you ever been in her shoes? You were done with one girl, but you had dated her so long that it was hard to walk away, then you start hooking up with a new girl and you are getting to have that fun and free feeling with her. Then all of a sudden she feels your distance and starts getting all needy and pushy and kills the whole point of hooking up with her. She is having a hard time giving her BOYFRIEND all she has, much less the guy on the side. However, as we all know, value changes focal points. The few girls who have been able to slowly hook me in these situations are the ones that stayed cool, laid back, and just straight up made me feel better and have more fun than the other girl I was dating. Over time, I found myself being drawn to the other girl. AS LONG AS she didn’t get too emotional too fast. Remember, girls are emotional creatures. She may even dump this guy, feel needy and insecure and reach hard emotionally and make you feel like she likes you soooooo much! Then when you reciprocate hard and fast, she pulls the rug out from under you and says, “Look, I just got out of a relationship. I think I just need to be single and figure some things out.” (Translation: I liked fucking you. I’m having fun. I just got out of an emotionally draining relationship. I might have liked you if we would have kept this up and you would have flipped the script and pulled back on me once you knew I liked you, but you didn’t. Instead, you are acting like we are dating, and you are stressing me the fuck out). In Summary: Be cool. Fuck the shit out of her. Be spontaneous and fun. Don’t let her know exactly how much you like her. Make her escalate the situation, and when she does, calmly go with it while still making her wonder if she’s got you....(YES EVEN IF YOUR CHEST IS BURNING AND YOU HAVE TO PUNCH A WALL AFTER YOU DROP HER OFF) Man up, -Braddock 35
2.4 “i don’t chase......i replace” http://www.braddocksblog.com/2009/01/09/life-lesson-from-the-godfather
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2.4 “I Don’t Chase......I Replace” It’s been a while since I’ve shared any of the wisdom imparted on by one of my friends and mentors from college I call, The Godfather. I remember one time we were talking with one of our friends who was being a complete pussy around this girl he wanted. Our buddy was calling her all the time, texting her all the time, and would drop anything he was doing to hang out with her if she called him. It was fucking disgusting! My friend was talking to me and the Godfather and kept rambling on and on about how she treated him like shit and how frustrated he was. He kept asking us for strategies and bullshit tactics for how he could get her to come around. He went on and on and The Godfather just stared at him and said nothing the entire conversation. Finally our friend who was being a pussy looked at the Godfather and said: Weak Sauce: “Hey man, what would you do if you were in my situation?” The Godfather: “I don’t chase man, I replace.” Even though my friend was hurting, I couldn’t help but laugh. The Godfather wasn’t trying to be rude, it was just a glimpse into his inner game and how his mind operates. Our friend was coming from a really weak place mentally. He had no other girls (which is no big deal) but even worse, he believed he couldn’t get another one. Every girl that comes along, he would develop a mini crush on and get messed up inside. If he would come from a place of abundance (either through actually dating a lot of women) or simply by accepting and believing that there are always plenty more, he would never feel much turmoil over a girl that was giving him the runaround. Strangely, this shift in mindset would have been the exact recipe to get the girl to stop being so distant. In no way am I saying you shouldn’t pursue a woman or give up on a girl who is giving you the run around (if you have ever taken Social Circle Mastery with Mr. M and I, then you know we have an entire model for running slow burn game) but, the underlying theme is always that of abundance.
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2.4 “I Don’t Chase......I Replace” It’s ok to “want” a girl, but the second you “need” her, you are fucked. This abundance mentality should never end. If you ever lost a woman during a relationship it is likely because you started to “need” her instead of “want” her. STOP BEING A PUSSY!!!! As Wayne Dyer says, “You need water, air, and food....you don’t need any individual’s love or approval.” So start internalizing the mentality, “I don’t chase, I fucking replace.” -Braddock over and out
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covered in this chapter:
3.1 To the New Guys!
- Learning Game the Right Way
3.2 Dates: Lunch, Dinner, Drinks
- What Types of Girls Are You Working With?
- Short Fuses
- Medium Fuses
- Long Fuses
3.3 The Prescription to Move Out of the LJBF Zone
- What Would Murder Her Attraction
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3.1 To the New Guys! http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61184-new-guys.html Quick advice I wish someone would have told me when I began: Don’t try to learn it all at once. Whatever amount of time you plan on allotting to pickup whether that is 1 hour per week or 20 hours, make sure that you spend 80% of that time going out and actually doing approaches. Most guys get on here and read, read, read. Don’t do that!!!! You don’t get good at playing the guitar by reading about the guitar. You play that bitch until your fingers hurt, and then, you play that bitch some more! Learn a little piece at a time and only try to add a piece at a time. Work on your inner game an equal amount that you work on your outer game. Once your inner game is super solid then your outer game will explode. Don’t read every post on here and believe it as if it was written by the hand of God. Even the best of the best on here are just guys, they are not super heroes. A lot of guys on here write a bunch of bullshit to sound cool, but they have never actually done it. Once you’ve been on here a while and you’ve done a bunch of approaches, you will be able to quickly determine which posts are valuable and which ones are written by a guy that has probably never done a single approach. Good luck! Stick with it. It can change your life with women and make your life better all around. -Braddock
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3.2 Dates: Lunch, Dinner, Drinks http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/108163-dates-braddock-lunch-dinner-drinks.html
Originally Posted by samirnyc View Post Hi Guys I just want to hear different opinion about the first date or meeting if you do day game . The question I struggle with is ask a girl out for drinks only for the first time , outing. Sometimes from a logistics point of view lunch makes sence as most girls have nothing set up with BF or friends so they will agree to come out with you more often, so you can build comfort and attraction, no sexual escalation at lunch unless you can have lunch sex ( my work wife does it , so I know girls will go out for lunch to get fucked) Drinks are good as the girls know they dont have to sit with you for long if things dont go well. Dinner: I usually dont do dinner unless if the girl is from my social circle . The reason I ask is b/c I have this new girl HB 9( she upped her dressing) at work and I have done some kino , value at first meeting and then asked her to come to a bday party, she did not show up so I ignored her on tuesday and was cool to her today, will engage her again tomorrow (kinda of mini freeze so she knows im not desperate and preserve value) I am wondering should I ask her our for lunch and build comfort & value and then ask her out for drinks on friday or just go for drinks ? Thanks 41
3.2 Dates: Lunch, Dinner, Drinks Answer: I usually go based on investment and I use the same dynamite stick idea as I use in my phone and text game book. Picture each woman you meet as a stick of dynamite with a different fuse length. Short Fuse: Girl that wants you really bad. All your jokes hit, she initiates fairly often. She wants to hang out. She plays along with all your jokes. She allows you to go sexual. With a short fuse you have the option of going to get a drink, dinner, a real date...pretty much anything is on the table. However, I always say play lazy man’s game and get the most done with the least amount of effort. With a short fuse, I usually just say, “What are you doing? Wanna come over and watch a movie?” Skip the middle man and invite her straight to your house. Medium Fuse: This is the category I find most girls in. It would probably make her uncomfortable if you invited her straight over to your house to hang out. With a medium fuse I would go for the drink or a group meet up. Long Fuse: Girl that rarely replies. She’s on and off the grid. One time she is cool, the next time she is cold or distant.. etc.... With a long fuse, it would be ridiculous to invite her straight to your house, she likely would never answer your call or text again. A drink is a “maybe” but it might still be too much pressure. What I do with these girls is patiently and persistently text or call them a few times a week ONLY, and only push for the meet up every 4th or 5th time I make contact. The times I do make contact and extend an invite, it goes something like, “You guys should meet us at X.”
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3.2 Dates: Lunch, Dinner, Drinks This takes the pressure off of her and leaves her the option of meeting up under laid back conditions. The idea is to burn long fuses down to short fuses.
-Braddock
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3.3 The Prescription to Move Out of the LJBF Zone http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/63998-braddocks-prescription-move-out-ljbf-zone. html Start with this, but realize this alone won’t guarantee anything....... Spend less time with her for a while. Allow her brain to lose some of the associations she has toward you. When you do spend time with her, start to slowly treat her differently. I don’t know how you act around her, but don’t laugh at what she says unless it’s truly funny. Don’t play therapist. If she talks to you about other guys, listen only mockingly. Make fun of her plight and never feel sorry for her on this kind of shit. Don’t be a shoulder to cry on. Do’s: After you have spent some time away from her, come back and change the frame. You must realize that you can’t go at her afraid to lose. If you push the envelope with her you are running the risk of losing her for good. If you can’t handle that, then just stay in friend mode. At least she’ll be around??? FUCK THAT!!! Slowly go for it, but be willing to lose this girl. You obviously like her, so go for it. Win her? Great! She says no thanks? Fine, get away from her so she can’t affect you emotionally. But, at least you can feel better inside knowing you took your best shot. Then, move on. Do talk to other girls while trying to get out of friend mode. Don’t set out to make her jealous, you are most likely not calibrated to do that without her knowing what you are trying to do. Just go game other girls and get more women in your life. Practice staying out of friend mode with new girls. See if this is an isolated situation or see if this is a reoccurring theme. As you get better you will fall into friend mode less and less. Now, if I make a friend that’s a girl, it’s strategic. Pivot, fat girl with tons of hot friends, girl that I think is cool, but not attracted to. If I want a girl she may or may not date me, but she will not slot me in friend mode. The reason you need to get away from her for a while is because it’s hard to change the frame from friend to sexual. It’s going backwards. To try and physically escalate her at this point will feel weird
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3.3 The Prescription to Move Out of the LJBF Zone to you and her. Time away will help remedy this, but may not change it. You seeing her after time has passed allows you to do several things. Next time you see her you can send mixed signals and set a new tone for kino escalation. The always there for her “buddy” is no more. You need to reemerge as a sexual guy who wants her, but doesn’t need her. You want her in a way that does not include shopping or hearing about her boy problems. If she doesn’t want you in the same way, then you have no use for her. You won’t actually say the words from above, you will convey them. But, if you try to do that tomorrow without time passing, you will just look like you are trying to do something. Being reactive is not attractive. Soooo..... The Short Term Prescription: Get the fuck away from her for a while. Don’t avoid her, but make yourself scarce, even if you’re dying to see her. Fuck that. Think long term not short term. Go get a few other women in your life. Spend more and more time thinking about other girls and less putting this girl on a pedestal in your mind. Come back in a few months with a different frame in mind. You are going to read Magic Bullets if you haven’t and start all over with this girl. No, you won’t run an opener, but you will start alllll over in attraction and run all the phases properly this time. Usually, when a guy falls into friend mode, he started off in comfort instead of attraction and/or he didn’t escalate kino at all. You don’t have to escalate hard and fast, but you must kino or it’s off to the friend zone again. Becoming a more attractive guy overall and needing her less and less will help you become more attractive to her. Stop trying to be the perfect guy for “her.” Fuck the “how can I get her” mentality. Think I want to become more attractive to women in general.
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3.3 The Prescription to Move Out of the LJBF Zone Hope this helps. I think this will work itself out over time if you stick with learning all of this stuff. Realize, there is no quick fix or line for your situation, and eventually, you are going to have to do what I said above. Then, come back and pull the fucking trigger, realize and be ok with the idea that you may lose her for good. But, if you say, “I can’t risk that.” just realize that you have already lost her to some other guy although she hasn’t found him yet. When she does, he will expect her to remove you more and more as her friend and you won’t want to be there to watch her happily with Mr. Right anyway. So, take some time away and then come back and pull the trigger!!!! You can do it man! Good luck. -Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
4.1 Approach Antxiety
- Your War Against Fear
- Developing the Approach Habit: Right Action Over Emotion
- The Approach “Brain”
- AA Remedies
4.2 Q & A on Approach Anxiety - Steps to Overcome AA
4.3 Opening Mixed Groups (Guys and Girls)
- What to Say and When to Say it
- The Benefit of Opening Guys
- How to Build Rapport with Them
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4.1 approach anxiety http://www.braddocksblog.com/2009/09/30/approach-anxiety-by-dating-coach-braddock
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4.1 Approach Anxiety Your War Against Fear Some of the worst feelings in my life have come when I have chosen to avoid something I wanted out of fear. Knowing that I logically wanted something and then didn’t go for it because I succumb to a bunch of emotional rationalizations that are 95% bullshit, is killer. If I took the best dating coach in the world who says he has zero approach anxiety and threw him in the batter’s box against a major league pitcher who throws 100mph, would he feel anxiety? Of course. If I took the most calm, cool, collected major league baseball player, who never gets nervous in the batter’s box, and took him a bar, and forced him to approach a beautiful woman he didn’t know, would he feel anxiety? Of course. You are feeling nervous for a whole host of reasons, which I will explore in great detail later in this article, but mainly because, you are doing something you have very few reference experiences in. In baseball, you get to start off on a tee with no one watching. Once you have that down you can start hitting soft toss. If you mess that up, no big deal. No one is watching and no one is judging you. Once you have that down, you can move to the pitching machine, then a real pitcher. You can do all of this in the off season with no one watching. By the time the season rolls around, you are ready. In pickup, you don’t get to slowly graduate up to the World Series. The first woman you approach essentially feels like it’s the big game. On bootcamp, we almost always cure 85%-90% of a guy’s approach anxiety by the end of the weekend. The weekend forces the guys to get mass exposure like they’ve never experienced. Sure, you will always feel something when you approach, but you can manage it. Develop the Habit of Right Action Over Emotion If you really want your approach anxiety to go away, it simply requires you to develop a new habit. You must cultivate the habit of right action over emotion. Realize that everyone feels approach anxiety, and those who feel it the least are the ones who have done the most approaches. These guys are not super human, they have just desensitized themselves to the pain through repetition and carry a mindset focused on long term gratification over short term gratification. They have faced that fear so many times that it has lost its hold.
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4.1 Approach Anxiety If you rode a roller coaster 500 times in a row, you would eventually lose the ability to get a rush from riding it. If you only ride that roller coaster once or twice a month, then you will surely feel the rush with the same intensity as you did the very first time you ever road it. If you wanted to help a friend get over the fear of riding roller coasters would you have him read 300 books and spend 5 years on a psychologist’s couch, or would you put his ass on a roller coaster again and again? Just like any other habit you want to create in your life, this is done through repetition. The fastest way to ensure that you have approach anxiety for the rest of your life is to only do one or two approaches every now and then. My favorite self help guru, Brian Tracy, says, “Fortunately, the habit of courage can be learned just as any other habit is learned, through repetition. We need to constantly face and overcome our fears to build up the kind of courage that will enable us to deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life unafraid.” While there are infinite things we could be afraid of, at our core, we are crippled with the fear of rejection, and fear of failure, far beyond all else. The fear of rejection is the most damaging because it can literally be crippling. It is a cancer that can literally hold you in a self-imposed prison keeping you from taking the necessary action required to meet a specific goal. Usually, there are several factors in regards to approach anxiety that make this fear of rejection heightened. Some of them are unavoidable and in regards to those, you need to man the fuck up. However, several factors are within your control. Remember, there are certain factors that predispose us to heightened levels of fear or anxiety. By removing those factors, we reduce the level of anxiety to a manageable level. Remove the road blocks in your mind that are holding you back, especially early in the learning process. Let’s look at a few that you can remove: 1. Approaching In Front of Old Friends We all know that failure is unavoidable in any new endeavor and that the lion share of failure takes place at the beginning of learning something new. This means that your fear of rejection is not 50
4.1 Approach Anxiety completely unfounded. You will, in fact, get rejected quite a bit when you approach women, especially in the beginning. What can make this even worse is the fact that you are trying to learn this in front of old friends who have never seen you behave in this new way. You have a well-defined role within that circle, and to get rejected in front of them could create a level of social pressure from them that you are not sure you are willing to accept. You don’t want the role in your group to change, you don’t want to be openly ridiculed by them, and you don’t want to be ridiculed behind your back. Remedy: Knowing that you are trying something new and scary, the last thing you need is extra pressure from your friends. On the nights when you are going out to work on this stuff, don’t go out with the guys who add to your stress. Go out with the one or two guys who you are most relaxed around and don’t feel like you would be judged. Once you are over your approach anxiety you can start chasing girls in front of those guys and it won’t be such a big deal. When I was first learning this stuff, I couldn’t go out with my older brother and his friends because I couldn’t stand the thought of looking bad in front of them. As ridiculous as that frame of mind might be, by simply removing them on the nights I wanted to work on this stuff I was able to fight just one demon that night: my crippling approach anxiety . By going out with them and wrestling two demons at once, I was paralyzed and did nothing. This retarded my growth on a massive level. We all thrive when we deal with people who we feel understand us, respond well to us, and aren’t judging us. While this is less important in most situations, it’s very helpful when attempting something new and stressful. 2. Approaching In a Local Venue I’ve spent the last 2 years of my life studying every book I could get my hands on that had to do with the brain and how it works. One thing that I see consistently in the books I’ve read on neurobiology is the brain is a horrible multi tasker, especially in high stress situations. An area of our brain that this drastically affects is the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC). Dr. Richard Restak says, “The MPFC springs into action whenever we direct our attention inward and think about ourselves or outward and think about others. As we interact with colleagues, compete with opponents, or watch our friends and family experience their own ups and downs, having insight into the feelings of others enables us to understand what they value, how they feel about us, to offer appropriate support or gain competitive advantage, and to predict their future behavior.” The medial prefrontal cortex fires up not only when we actually experience an event, but also when 51
4.1 Approach Anxiety we ‘think’ about experiencing an event. It also fires off when we think about putting ourselves in the shoes of another person looking back at us. The more we are concerned with what the other person thinks about us, the more our MPFC will fire off, scanning to assess how they ‘might’ feel or what they ‘might’ be thinking. This means that our attention gets scattered and fractionated like crazy in high stress situations. If you are scared of public speaking and you are speaking to a group of important clients, your MPFC will be doing back flips trying to assess how they feel about you. You will oscillate between: full attention on your speech --> What they are thinking about me? --> full attention on your speech --> What are they thinking about me? …..Over and over etc… Each time this happens, you are obviously pulled away from your speech and you lose focus. You become more and more self conscious every time you lose your place in your speech and the MPFC fires off more concentrated and much more often. Before you know it, you are so concerned with what the crowd is thinking that you can’t even talk. This is essentially like driving drunk. Your mind can’t keep up with all the inputs and it’s almost impossible to focus. You feel disoriented and anxious as a result. This explains why you feel like you are naked on stage when you are in your local bar trying to approach. You are in a bar full of people you either know, kind of know, or have seen multiple times. Now all of a sudden you decide to approach either these groups of people or approach strangers in front of these people. The fear of rejection and failure kicks in and fires off your MPFC. Now you can’t stop thinking about what all these people in the bar who you kind of know are thinking about you. “What if it goes wrong? I’ll never be able to show my face in here again. What if I use a line and she’s heared it before? She’ll tell everyone in here. What if I get blown out and she knows someone I know? My ex girlfriend is in here, what if she or one of her friends sees me get blown out? That asshole I knew in college is in here. If I get blown out in front of him, he’ll probably say something smart ass to me.” Now your MPFC is scanning the room at lightning speed trying to assess the feelings of everyone
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4.1 Approach Anxiety in the room. You now feel like you have 50 video cameras on you and the thought of approaching feels about as scary as pulling your cock out on national TV. Remedy: DON’T PRACTICE IN THESE PLACES!!!!!! It’s that simple. When I was learning this stuff and approach anxiety was my number one concern I would drive to cities 1 hour, 2 hours, sometimes even 4 hours away so I could practice in a place where I didn’t feel like I was on national television. Yes, you will still feel the pressure and your MPFC will still scan the room, but not with such ferocity. You will be more apt to keep your composure and stay in the moment. You may still feel like you are on TV, but it will feel more like public access channel 13 at 3am, instead of HBO on Sunday night at 9pm. Once you get comfortable with your approach anxiety in these places, you can slowly test the waters in the places that gave you the most pain. Eventually, your local bar won’t seem that daunting and you will have little or no trouble approaching a woman in these venues. 3. I don’t know what to say This is a pretty common, yet avoidable, because of approach anxiety. You might be thinking, “Any idiot can have the balls to go over there and make a fool of himself. I don’t want to be like that. If I’m going to go over there, I want to at least have something to say. What kind of fool goes up to a woman and says, hi, and then stands there like a moron?” That’s actually a fair point. I know I felt the same way when I was learning this stuff. Sadly, this kind of thinking is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Thinking like this can cause more long term damage than you can imagine. What this causes is the death of action and the birth of a guy who reads for months and never actually approaches. You begin to think that you should read and study pickup ebooks and memorize every possible routine and funny line. Then at some undetermined time in the future, you plan to start approaching. What really happens is that you read an insane amount of information and NEVER digest any of it. Your mind never hardwires any of the concepts and you become a master of theory and you actually get worse with women instead of better.
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4.1 Approach Anxiety Reading without practical application through real world experience causes you to develop major gaps in your learning. You become over stuffed with random knowledge. You need to start with small amounts of knowledge, digest those, and really master them before moving on to the next piece. The act of actually approaching and interacting with women, bad or good interactions, will help you connect the dots between each piece of new information you acquire. When you just read all the time or talk pickup all the time, you simply play a guessing game in your head. You read and assume. You build false constructs in your mind of what the author really means and you create some weird mutation of reality. When, and if, you ever do decide to take action, your brain locks up and gives you massive approach anxiety because you have all this information in your head, but you have no idea what to do with it or what order it should go in. You are so nervous because you haven’t approached in a long time and when you finally do, it goes either horribly bad or just ok. You feel guilty inside because you feel like you should be really good considering you know theory better than any dating coach on the planet and you wonder how it is possible with all that reading, you still can’t think of anything to say. This makes you feel anxiety and frustration, so, approaching the next girl makes you even more nervous, because each experience seems to validate that you are completely lost. Remedy: As the age-old saying goes, “A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.” Take one piece of information and go out and master it before moving on to the next. If you can’t open then there is no reason to be reading about the newest qualification technique or sexual frame to have. Your approach anxiety will go away in direct proportion to the amount of women you approach and your ability to master one step at a time. Give up on the idea that you need to have the perfect thing to say before you approach a woman. While the lines and routines are extremely powerful, they are worthless in bulk. Pick one or two things to open with and one or two things to transition with. Stick with these 2 things for a while. Stick with them until your approach anxiety drops to a reasonable level and you feel like you have those down. Change your mission. Take the 1,000 things there are to learn in game and learn them one at a time. Approach anxiety is the first one on that list. Advanced concepts mean nothing if your brain
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4.1 Approach Anxiety and body are engulfed with crippling anxiety. Give yourself a break and tackle this one thing first. Go out and give yourself mini missions. Also, realize that there is no reason why you can’t just walk up, open, transition, and then politely eject. The women won’t care and it will take tons of pressure off of you. You do not have to stand there like an idiot for an hour having an awkward conversation. Yes, in time you will obviously need to stay longer, but for now, you are just working on beating approach anxiety, right? As you become more and more relaxed with this process, you can begin to stay longer and longer. The Recipe: To defeat your approach anxiety, you need to expose yourself to gradual increasing doses of social pressure. The lowest form of this may simply be talking to a clothing store clerk, and the opposite end of that spectrum might be smacking a girl on the ass. Between those two polarities you can expose yourself to gradual increases. Keep doing the same one until the anxiety it gives you is either manageable or non-existent. Once you hit that threshold, move on to the next thing on your list that gives you an increased dose of social pressure. The more times you expose yourself to these situations, the more your brain will calm down and begin picking up conversational reference experiences. After numerous approaches over several weekends, you will become bored just approaching and walking off. You might get nervous on the first few of each night, but most of them will feel like nothing. Every time you approach and start a conversation, no matter how short or long, it’s like going to the gym for your brain. You will literally build conversational muscles. The first week you do this, you may run out of things to say after 5 seconds! However, as your mind calms down in these highpressure situations, your brain will allow you more access to the creative side of your brain. It’s not about memorizing more lines, it’s about being calm in those situations so you can access what you already know. The more calm and the more internalized your openers and transitions become, the more material you can add if you like. Please, please, trust me when I say that you will never memorize 300 routines and be able to go out to a bar and use them. Memorizing 300 routines is NOT a remedy for approach anxiety or a recipe to get laid. If anything, they will make things worse because your brain will feel clogged. You don’t need to memorize 300 lines to talk to an old friend, you just relax and talk to one another, right? 55
4.1 Approach Anxiety You will never completely eradicate your approach anxiety and that should not be your goal. Your goal should be to get it to a manageable level. The absolute ideal state is indifference. This is the feeling you have when you are talking to a friend or an acquaintance. When you are talking to a friend or an acquaintance, you are not too worried about what they are thinking and you have little or no concern about what the room is thinking. Putting yourself in these gradual-increasing levels of social pressure will help you reach indifference much faster. Facing the harsh reality of “No, I’m not interested in you”: The fear of rejection can be a heavy feeling when you first start out. This one single factor is enough to keep most guys on the sidelines their entire lives. Because of this fear/pain, they will be relegated to dating the women that come on to them or they will have to build a dynasty of a social circle and hope it creates enough gravity to draw women to them based on their lifestyle and social alliances. Even if you are a guy who is lucky enough to have been extremely successful with women in your social circles, you will have to get used to hearing “no” in cold approach. You will hear “no” from beautiful women and from women you wouldn’t even consider dating anyway. This can be a mind trip, because you may be used to beautiful women in your old social circles being all over you or even nervous to talk to you. In the sloppy world of cold approach, it is not the least bit uncommon to have below average women look at you like you have a dick growing out of your forehead when you approach. If you are not used to dating very many women or you are new to cold approach, then getting over the fear of rejection can feel daunting. Many guys take it personally. They assume that the woman sees some deep internal character flaw in them that must be true. They assume that if several women reject them, then most/all women must not like them. If you are not careful, this can create some deep seeded inner game issues that are hard to unwind. At the end of the day, it is successful reference experiences that breed confidence. You can only pump yourself up for so long and keep telling yourself that it will be ok or that “It’s not you, it’s them.” This is why it’s so crucial that, especially in the first 6 to 9 months, you write out clearly defined, measurable, and realistic goals. You can gain a ton of confidence by hitting small goal after small goal. These small goals slowly give birth to bigger and bigger goals. While you may not be getting laid or getting the women you want for that time, you are still hitting those small goals. This is the path that will lead you to dating those women by giving you the positive reference experience 56
4.1 Approach Anxiety you need to build durable confidence. If you are new and you have MASSIVE approach anxiety….STOP MAKING YOUR GOAL TO GET LAID!!!!!!!! Ready for some real talk??? You are not likely to consistently get laid or get an extremely hot girlfriend through cold approach for several months or longer if you are at the stage where you still suffer from severe approach anxiety. So, stop beating yourself up with ridiculous goals and stop feeling bad when you don’t have some epic sexual conquest or get 5 phone numbers. Step back and draw up a realistic 6 month game plan where you can have success. If you wanted to become a millionaire, would you get your feelings hurt and become deflated if you weren’t a millionaire tomorrow? 3 months from now? 6 months from now? Of course not. You would set up a game plan and a business strategy full of subsidiary goals all leading to the attainment of the big goal, a million dollars. Do the same with your dating life. You can do this, just step up and make it happen!! -Braddock
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4.2 Q & a on approach anxiety http://www.braddocksblog.com/2009/04/01/approach-anxiety
Question: What are the steps a guy can follow to go from not really approaching ANY women to approaching at least 1 woman per day with no fear of rejection...? answer: He needs to first set realistic goals. If a guy has never done a single approach, and his measure of success on any one approach is either getting a phone number or getting laid, then he is setting himself up for long term failure. When you are first starting out and you are just trying to get over your fear of rejection, don’t approach with any outcome in mind. Do not approach hoping for a phone number. if i had to start all over from scratch, and i could give myself a little advice, i would say: first just start with baby steps. I would tell myself to go out and just open girls with information gathering questions and then eject. i.e. “excuse me, do you know which way sunset Blvd is?” “Hi, can you tell me what time it is?” etc… I would do this until my mind calmed down in these situations before I tried to graduate up to the more advanced and lengthy conversations. once I got comfortable with that, I would give myself fun “mini missions.” I would go in with the mindset of accomplishing one mission: • “I’m going to go open her and transition with a cold read and then eject.” • “I’m going to go open a girl and try to ask her one qualifying question before I eject.” • “I’m going to go open a girl and tease her about something and get her laughing, then eject.” • “I’m going to go open a girl and high five her for something random, and then eject.” I would keep doing these types of things until I could do them with little or no anxiety. once that is under control, I would just make the mini missions a little harder each time.
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4.2 Q & A on Approach Anxiety Once I felt like I could do them with ease, I would create fun new rules. Maybe, I would give myself a “There’s no way out rule” where I wasn’t allowed to eject until she either walked off or until I had her phone number. That would be a great place to start. In the army, they have a learning strategy called, “crawl, walk, jog, run.” This is the proper way to attack any new endeavor, and pickup is no different. Guys get locked up because they are trying to run when they can’t even crawl. Their mind, and more specifically, their self concept, can’t identify with running because it has zero reference points to link too. As a result, it locks up and fires off the emotion of fear and anxiety. When you give it the mission of “crawl” the self concept can conceptualize that mission. They need to accept that rejection is part of the process and that we all go through it, even once you reach mastery. Accept it and move on. Don’t dwell on it and don’t try to understand why. It is what it is, don’t waste another second on it. It’s like asking, “Why do I have to lift weights and eat right to have a good body?” -Braddock
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4.3 opening mixed Groups (Guys and Girls) http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/103560-opening-mixed-groups-guys-girls.html originally posted by tornadopuA Hey guys, What’s the best way to open mixed sets? Do you just run any normal opener (e.g. Long Distance Relationship, Is kissing cheating, Drunk I love yous, etc.) on the guys then ask how everyone know each other and then move on to talk with the girls or do you do some small talk with the guys (on what subjects?) for like 2-3 minutes and then ask him to introduce you to the rest of the group? Thanks, Tornado answer: 1. I always watch for a little while to learn the group dynamic. You can usually tell if they are dating just by watching how they interact with one another. If I can tell they are dating, I move on. there are too many girls to try to mess with that and it’s a quick way to get in a fight. If they are holding hands or overly comfortable with simple touching, you can usually tell. 2. When actually opening mixed sets, you have a couple of options. A. If you are getting approach invitations and the guys look like pussies, then I would just go direct on the girl and the guys will usually melt away. As tim from rsD would say, “you turn everyone around her into spectators.” It’s pretty awesome when you can make this hit. It’s pretty risky and you better make sure the guys around her aren’t meat head guys that get pissed easy. I’ve done this a bunch of times and never had an altercation, but I never do it on a girl that looks like she is truly dating a guy. only when the guys are standing around her and she looks bored. B. If you don’t have approach invitations/or the guys look like normal to tougher guys, then I would Not go direct right away. I would either open the girl and introduce myself to the guys if and 60
4.3 Opening Mixed Groups (Guys and Girls) when they tried to come in. Don’t be a dick and don’t act like you are doing something wrong. Just talk to him as if he is an old friend. Don’t kiss his ass either. Just be polite as if you are meeting a stranger on a plane. If you act like you are doing something wrong then the guy will smell the fear and blow you out. He’ll act like a dick and try to dismiss you and the woman will start to act more dismissive to you as well. Be warm to him just long enough to get his respect and then move back to the girl. Now, the key question that everyone knows you must ask if you don’t know is: “So, how do you guys know each other?” You can tell pretty quickly after asking this what the score is. I won’t ask this until I think the girl is somewhat attracted to me or if I can tell the guy is getting mad. If it’s legitimately his girlfriend then don’t just run off, that looks weird, and don’t act like you did something wrong. You are just a chatty guy who happened to start a conversation with his girlfriend. You weren’t flirting with her technically. Put his mind at ease by talking to him and getting to know him a little bit. Meet the rest of his group if he is a warm guy. If he’s not, find a natural place to excuse yourself and move on. Sometimes, pussy orbiter guys will answer the same question with, “This is my girlfriend” even though it’s clearly not. When a guy like this says that, I usually smile and turn to her, and say, “You didn’t tell me this is your boyfriend? How long have you guys been dating?” If she likes you she will almost always clarify the situation and make it awkward for the guy. In that case, just ignore him and continue going after her. C. You can open the guy. Most people in the community dismiss the art of “Guy Game,” which may sound silly, but it’s actually quite useful for getting you out of potentially dangerous situations and quite powerful for quickly making friends and getting introductions to really hot girls. 61
4.3 Opening Mixed Groups (Guys and Girls) One of our instructors, Calabrese, has the best “Guy Game” I’ve ever seen. He opens guys quite a bit and almost always ends up meeting one of the guy’s girl buddies. Calabrese says that guys are easy, because there are only 3 things you need to talk to them about to build rapport: sports, pussy, and beer. That’s it. I don’t ever open them with a traditional opener, because if a guy did that to me I would laugh in his face and quickly dismiss him. It’s too transparent. I usually ask them if X local sports team won that night. Or, I make a statement about how hot the girls are in there. Sometimes, I make a statement about how he better quit staring at my girlfriend and I point to the fattest, oldest, woman in the place, just to get him laughing. Then I might say, “Did you graduate from Oklahoma? You look really familiar?” Or....”Are you friends with Brian Hawkins? I swear I met you at one of his parties.” Then, I just have a 2 to 3 minute conversation about random shit and then I say, “You guys celebrating something tonight or what?” He’ll say...bla bla bla..whatever he says.. Then I’ll say, “That girl right there is really cute, is that your girlfriend?” Or.... I’ll say, “These girls are really cute, which one are you dating?” He’ll, then (assuming you built a decent rapport) break down the entire group dynamics for you and often times introduce you to girls. “I’m kinda talking to that Sara girl and that blond over there is dating my cousin, but that blond right there is single and she is a slut. Let me introduce you.” -Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
5.1 Q & A: How Can I Make Girls Laugh?
- Why Jokes Hit and Why They Don’t
- Local Vs. Global Themes
5.2 How to Flirt with Women: The Art of Push/Pull
- The Definition of Push/Pull
- How Push/Pull Works
- Creating the Right Push to Pull Ratio
- The Breakdown
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5.1 Q and a: how can i make girls laugh? http://www.braddocksblog.com/2010/08/01/dating-tips-how-can-i-make-girls-laugh
originally posted by barney stintson: so i can crack an endless amount of jokes and teases when i’m with my close friends, but its really hard to just get into that same mindset with a stranger...any ideas on how to break that barrier? What makes me funny is heavy doses of cheap booze and even cheaper women. I also noticed that women found my jokes much funnier once I dropped in that I had a 13 inch cock. I’m just kidding.... maybe. I had this same problem. Cracking my boys up and girls in my social circle ....then....same jokes on girls in cold approach and a God damn tumble weed would roll through the room and you could hear crickets chirp. What I figured out is that I was trying to pull them into humor that required too much insider info for a newcomer. A girl coming into your preexisting social circle will laugh at jokes she doesn’t quite get to feel accepted or because she can tell everyone else is responding to you well. In cold approach, you don’t get that luxury. think of it like this. In humor, you have “local” and “global” themes. local themes are themes that are funny only if you have been in that exact situation or had that exact very specific experience. This is what usually manifests with your buddies. You guys build joke after joke off of themes that have been running for years. You’ve seen the same movies, been on the same trips, you know specific quirks and character traits of each member of the group. since all members know each member very well, a joke about one of those member’s quirks will get a laugh out of everyone. A one liner from a favorite movie will have the group cracking up, because it probably actually ties in several “local” themes that have been long running. “Global” themes are themes that everyone can get and that need zero prior knowledge for them to be understood. As long as they have been on the planet, have internet, watch some tV, and have seen at least the top movies, then they will get these jokes.
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5.1 Q & A: How Can I make Girls Laugh? These jokes are often less funny, but by starting with these, you can open them up to the idea that you are funny. They can get used to you, see your style of humor, and then you can start building “local” jokes with them as the interaction progresses. This can happen really fast. Introduce a “global” theme and if they laugh, start introducing “local” themes to add spice and conspiracy between the two of you. Jumping in with the “local” jokes is doable, but it obviously risks them not getting it and making you feel like your cock is hanging out in 2* weather. Or.... Just tell them you have a 13 inch cock that you want to put in or around their mouth.
-Braddock
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how to flirt with Women: the art of push/pull http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/111917-braddock-how-flirt-women-art-push-pull. html In my years of being a Dating Coach it’s become apparent that the most important and easiest way to flirt with women is to use what is called push/pull. Basic Definition: “Saying something nice and dove tailing it with something mean or saying something mean and dove tailing it with something nice.” On a more advanced level of flirting, using push/pull is the art of using both your physical touch/ facial expressions and your words in unison. this could mean that you tease her about something or playfully call her out on something, yet while doing so, you are smiling, you pull her in and hug her just before she gets mad to show her you are kidding. the guys I know who are the best with women when it comes to flirting, building attraction in the first encounter, building attraction in social circle settings, or maintaining a fun relationship are masters of push/pull. to truly master push/pull you must learn to calibrate to the woman. each woman has her own default push/pull blueprint. some girls‘ blueprint is that they respond best when the ratio is 5 pushes to every 1 pull. With these types of women, they will quickly get bored with a guy who tries to compliment “pull” too often. even with these women, the pull must appear at some point or she will give up, lose interest, and assume you are just a jerk. Other girls’ default blueprint is just the opposite. If you want to properly flirt with these women, you will be best off giving light compliments “pulling” maybe 5 times for every one tease “push.” However, even though each woman has her own default blueprint for when she first meets new guys, this blueprint can quickly change relative to your value. that same woman who would have felt massive attraction to a 5 pushes to 1 pull ratio, will not be receptive to a low value guy attempting such a ratio. However, the woman who responds better to 5 pulls and 1 push and would normally get upset if an average guy teased her too much, will have no problem being teased hard by a guy who she considers extremely high value in her social circle, or by a celebrity.
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How to Flirt with Women: The Art of Push/Pull Basic Example of Push/Pull: The Push: (Underlined) The Pull: (Bold) I meet a girl, we are flirting, but 10 minutes in I find out she is from Texas. Since I’m originally from Oklahoma, there is a natural reason for immediate push/pull. Braddock: “Damn, you’re from Texas. (Faking disappointment with face and body language) This sucks, you’re really cute and I was just starting to like you, but now I have to break up with you. I’m going to need my CD’s back and my letter jacket. Now that I know you are from Texas, I don’t feel so bad about cheating on you. But, you were amazing in bed. This makes me sad.” (Pretend to walk away, then come back smiling. She drops her jaw and playfully punches me in the arm. I pull her in, hug her and kiss her on the cheek). Breakdown of the Above: The Push? (Underlined) Any point in the above where I’m saying something mean, pretend to break up with her, pretend to be disappointed, or fake walking away. Go out and practice pushing as hard as you can without pissing girls off. The sweet spot is when she is almost mad, but you can tell she likes that you have the balls to push her buttons, yet the social savvy to release the tension by intermittently complimenting or physically being warm by “pulling.” Go out for a week and mess this up. I give you permission to piss some girls off. This is the only way you will know what the boundary is with this stuff. The more she likes you and the more attracted she is, the harder you can push. This is how you build deep layers of attraction with women. The farther you can successfully take things with the teasing “pushing”, the better it will feel for her when you do release the tension by being warm verbally or physically, “pulling.” The Pull? (Bold) Any point in the above where I compliment her, smile, or physically escalate. When you are trying to flirt with women, don’t kill the sexual tension by over pulling.
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How to Flirt with Women: The Art of Push/Pull Most guys will say, “Just kidding” when the girl wasn’t even mad. Save comments like “just kidding” for when you truly piss her off and even then, use it sparingly. Also, don’t kill sexual tension by playfully pushing, but laughing at your own joke too early in an attempt to break the tension, hoping she will ‘be ok with it.’ Have some balls and be ok with creating some tension. This tension is what makes the compliments, “the pull”, actually feel really good. No tension + pulling = no attraction and no secondary gain of the pull feeling good. Pulling with no attraction is simply validating her, not causing a connection. Go out and practice complimenting. Range them and see what happens. Notice the difference when you give light compliments after several teases. Notice that it doesn’t kill the tension, but actually allows you to push it farther. Then try over complimenting too early and being way too nice and notice how it kills the sexual tension and makes it even harder to push the next time. Would you guys like more articles like this? Comment below and let me know. -Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
6.1 Takeaways for SNLs
- Earliest Form of Takeaways
- Takeaways in Comfort
- Pulling Stage Takeaways
- Beat Her to the Punch Takeaways
- Logistic Takeaways
- Takeaways in Seduction
6.2 Same Night Lay Simple Pointers
- SNL Threshold
-Reading Her Blueprint
- When to Move On
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6.1 Takeaways for SNLs http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/108184-takeaways-snls-braddock.html
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6.1 Takeaways for SNLs Remember, every woman has a different blueprint and therefore responds to different things. o This post is a gross generalization. o Some girls will need ZERO takeaways. o Some girls will need 100. o Try them out and see how she responds and calibrate accordingly. • Takeaways are best used by acting through your own intentions. o You can fake takeaways, but the more you do the less they will hit. • You have to be fucking fearless when you do takeaways. • To get 10’s on a same night or to get 10’s you will usually need takeaways. As TD would say, “To same night lay a 10, you need to be fucking possessed.”
• The more she likes you, the harder the takeaways can be. • The less she likes you, the more you just sound like a chump who is jaded by women. • The less power you have, the lighter the takeaways must be. • Here you will do takeaways to punish resistance. • The best way to qualify what you are is to disqualify what you ARE NOT. Remember how Push/Pull works. Takeaways are a push in nature. If you are all push, she will eventually give up or get defensive. Change up the push/pull ratio and find her blueprint. Some girls like a dick, so go 3 pushes to every 1 pull. Some girls hate that, so go 3 pulls to every 1 push. o A perfect balance is when the girl is frustrated, but calmly submissive (yes, stolen from Dog Whisper Pssst....Pssst). She likes the jousting and every time you do a takeaway she submits more and more on a sub communication level and eventually she is chasing you and escalating you physically and sometimes logistically. Earliest Form of Takeaways: • Role Play takeaways: o That’s it, we are getting a divorce.
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6.1 Takeaways for SNLs o That’s it, we are breaking up. o You are fired. o You have been eliminated. o I fucking hate girls like you. o Girls like you are bad for me. o You and I would end up hating each other after about 2 months. o (Dubbsy Style): “How many dates before I can get in your pants…at least 3 I’m guessing. Ok, so this is date one. Let’s go to the bar…..Ok this is date 2…” o This would be all fights and make up sex. o Fuck this, I always end up dating girls like you. You need to run along…..I know how this story ends. 3 months of crazy, passionate sex, fights every day, and a horrible breakup. Takeaways In Comfort: • Admitting your sexual desires: o “I think you better go, if you stick around I’m going to do bad things to you and I promised myself when I saw you, I would just be your friend.“ • Running from your feelings: o I need to get away from you, girls like you are bad for me. o I can’t keep talking to you. • She says something you don’t like: o Go silent. o Ignore her. o Give short answers and talk to everyone else (make her feel the burn). o Being almost annoyed by her presence. Pulling Stage Takeaways: • “You know what, I like you, but if that’s all you think I want from you after talking to you all night then fuck this….I’m out.” • “Your friend is starting to piss me off…I think I’m out of here.” Beat Her To The Punch Takeaways: • You are a player aren’t you? • Just so you know, even though I think you are fucking hot, we aren’t having sex.
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6.1 Takeaways for SNLs Logistic Takeaways: • “Look, if you have to listen to your friends then go.” • “If you don’t want to be with me then stay here with your friends.” • “Go with your friends, fuck it.” • “I want to go, no wait, I do, no wait…..” o “Look, I want you to come, but I’m not going to beg you to. You know I like you, either come or don’t. If you don’t trust me….don’t come.” (Organizing Principle: “I thought you were awesome, I didn’t know you were X, if that’s true, then fuck this, I’m fucking out.”) • Reversals o “I didn’t think you were like this.” o “I had no idea you were this judgmental.” o Girl: “You can’t come in, I’m not having sex with you.” o You: “You know what, if you think that’s all I want, then tonight is a waste of time.” Takeaways In Seduction : • “Promise me this won’t be a one night stand.” • “I know this sounds weird, but I’m not into one night stands.” Suck it, -Braddock
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6.2 Same Night Lay Simple Pointers... http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/103638-same-night-lay-simple-pointers.html If you are a guy that is ONLY looking for same night lays, here are a few things that will help you have more consistent success. There are so many things that go into having good same night game and there are so many different styles you can take. Remember, these are just generalities. Every girl has a different blueprint that may take one or several of the things mentioned below. Some guys go super sexual verbally and escalate really fast, some guys are all about sexual framing, some guys are all about building massive comfort, and other guys are all about building huge amounts of sexual tension through push/pull until the girl basically pulls them into the bedroom (my personal favorite). Maybe one day I will have time to write extensively on same night lay game, but for now here are a few pointers that should help… SNL Threshold: Any girl can turn into a SNL. Even the sweetest girl or most high value woman in the world “could” have a same night lay. If the right guy came along at the right time, it could happen. Tyler D used to say that it’s all about finding her blueprint. The problem is that each woman has a different threshold for what it would take to have sex with a guy the same night. Some women will literally go their entire life and never have sex with a guy the same night she met him because her threshold is so high. Not because she’s “so moral”, but because so many strange variables would have to be covered, it would almost be impossible. Some women’s threshold is so high that it’s impossible for almost anyone on the planet to get there in one night. The thought of having sex on the same night for some women might be so taboo that no matter how turned on, attracted, and comfortable with the guy she was, her threshold might only be met by a guy who looks like Brad Pitt, runs perfect game, logistically, her friends couldn’t know about it, it had to be the perfect location, and she has to be feeling XYZ feelings etc etc etc.... If one of those things was off, she wouldn’t have sex. The moon, the sun, and the stars would have to align for someone to have sex with her that night.
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6.2 Same Night Lay Simple Pointers... Most girls aren’t like this, I’m just making the case for some women so you don’t beat yourself up every time a woman won’t go home with you. The point is that if you are obsessed with same night lays, you need to get good at reading girls thresholds. I’m not talking about listening to what she says exactly…..IE “You know I’m not going to have sex with you, right?” We all know what she can say often times betrays what she really feels. No, what I’m talking about are things that are obvious red flags that “most of the time” spell an extremely high threshold that will put the brakes on the same night lay later that night. If she gives major resistance to any of the below….NEXT SET! If you are obsessed with SNLs then you will want to screen any girl out that has a moderate to high threshold. Screen for girls that have a medium to low same night threshold. (All these assume you understand calibration and assume you have massive attraction) • She flinches multiple times at the idea of bouncing: Most women will give token resistance to bouncing back to your place, but a woman with a high SNL threshold will flinch hard every time you even hint at bouncing no matter how attracted she is. • She flinches when you escalate: I’m not talking about a girl who doesn’t want to look like a slut in front of her friends. I’m talking about the woman who will barely let you hold her hand. She may logistically follow you around the club and would stand there all night long but won’t let you make even the most basic of escalation….MOVE ON!! • Bad Logistics: If she lives 45 minutes away and she is with a carload of friends, then, I suggest you move on. Even if you could pull this girl, who wants to drive her back 45 minutes away in the morning? Besides that, in most cases, terrible logistics will override attraction and she will end up not going home with you. So….find out logistics early. Who did she come with? Who drove? How far away does she live? Etc.. etc… If several of these questions get shit answers…..MOVE ON!!!!
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6.2 Same Night Lay Simple Pointers... • She flinches when you joke sexually: Once again I’m not talking about when you don’t have attraction and you are trying to talk sexual like a horny 7th grader. I’m talking about when you know she is interested and she just won’t bite on any kind of sexual role play, sexual frames, sexual teasing, sexual qualification etc.….If I can’t put her in at least a semi sexual state, then I’m moving on. Same night lays are much more complex than this, obviously, and these are generalities, but for you advanced guys it should make sense. Remember, most of your mom’s fall in the “low SNL threshold.” My mom would of course be in the “high SNL threshold.” -Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
7.1 How Do I Date Hotter Girls? “Proximity is Power”
- Proximity
- Some Tips for Gaining More Access
- Inner Game Issues Stemming from 9s & 10s
7.2 Braddock and Mr. M (10 Game Audio)
- 10 Game Audio: Parts 1-7
7.3 Dating Tip: Become Successful with Women by Modeling
- What is Modeling
- Modeling Family
- Modeling Friends
- Modeling Gurus
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covered in this chapter:
- Who Should You Model?
- Modeling Behaviors and Thoughts.. ...Not Becoming Someone Else
- What to Do if Forced to Be Around Bad Models
- Action Steps
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7.1 how do i date hotter Girls? “proximity is power.” http://www.braddocksblog.com/2010/07/31/dating-tips-how-do-i-date-hotter-women
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7.1 How Do I Date Hotter Girls? “Proximity is Power” One of my favorite quotes and the foundational pillars of Social Circle Mastery is, “Proximity is power.” At the end of the day, you guys wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t want hotter women in your life. If it was just sex or quantity, then, you could just take down a drunk bar pig every night. However, at the end of the day, I got into all of this to date/bang hotter women. (GOD HELP ME IF ANYONE ON HERE WRITES THE GAYEST SAYING OF ALL TIME, “BUT BRADDOCK ...A HOT GIRL IS RELATIVE. WHAT’S HOT TO YOU MAY BE UGLY TO ME.”) FUCK YOU!!!!! Ok, moving on. What I have discovered is that at the end of the day, the guys who date the HOTTEST women ARE NOT NECESSARILY the guys with the best game....No. They are the guys with “enough” game... but superior proximity. They are the guys who have consistent close proximity to beautiful women. I know some of my boys back in Oklahoma who have some of the best game I’ve ever seen....who AREN’T dating beautiful women consistently. When they come visit me in LA, they smash it. They are like kids in a candy store. However, in Oklahoma, they are fighting for one of the three hot girls in the club or social circle and the margin for error is insanely small. On the other end of the spectrum, I have buddies in LA who have very average game, but they have access to beautiful women through their social circle, and as a result, they are consistently dating hot women. Guys are always asking me, “How do I get hotter women?” They think I’m going to give them some trick line or inner game shift that will set them free and unleash their inner cocksman. They are usually disappointed by my answers...
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7.1 How Do I Date Hotter Girls? “Proximity is Power” 1. “Figure out where there is a large gathering of hot girls...social club...class...hobby....and join that.” 2. “Fall into friend mode with at least 3 hot girls who have hot friends.” 3. “Become friends with a few club promoters...get access to all those clubs that won’t let you in.” 4. “Stop beating yourself up wondering why you can’t pull the one 10 out of that shit local bar near your house where there are 300 dudes....10 girls....and 1 hot girl. A girl in this club thinks she’s a 15, because in that room she is. If you pull her, it’s less a measure of skill and more random luck, coupled with game and a few lucky logistical breaks.” This is why SCM is so important. Create a lifestyle where you are naturally in the path of hot women all the time. Can you sniper off a 10 in a shit venue? Yes. Consistently? No. Do you get a special blue ribbon if you can? No. Do you want to make things easy on yourself so you can see her 3...4...5...10 times and not have to be so pushy and desperate, so things can happen more organically? I do. Even if you are limited to cold approach because you don’t have time to build a social circle, you are still greatly increasing your odds if you are in a room full of beautiful women. If you normally go 3 for 10 in any club regardless of quality, wouldn’t you rather go 3 for 10 in a room full of super hot women? I would. Guys develop major inner game issues over this very simple distinction. Classic Inner Game Issues Stemming From This: “I get shaky around hot women, true 10’s. I can’t be myself. I’m great on 6’s and 7’s.” (Guess what...we all do when we only go to shit bars with one hot girl in them and we can feel that we have one shot and it must be a homerun). “When I get a hot girl I can’t walk away from her no matter how bad the relationship is, because she is so hard to replace.” (Yeah, when you snag the one hot girl out of the shit venue after going there 3,000 times, you’re
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7.1 How Do I Date Hotter Girls? “Proximity is Power” going to feel a complete lack of abundance). When you build a social circle full of hot girls and you start penetrating the hottest clubs in your area, you will get used to being around hot girls. You will warm up on hot girls, get blown out by hot girls, and land some of those hot girls. Your body will calm down and you will start to feel less stressed about any one girl. How to penetrate these places and social circles? That’s a whole post in itself. It starts with getting your lifestyle together, getting involved, and surrounding yourself with a team of cool guys who get it. (Not “pickup guys,” just normal guys who get it and understand this naturally.) Am I saying you don’t need good game? Of course not. You need to have some skill.....you probably just need less than you think. :D Ok, next caller. -Braddock
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7.2 Braddock and Mr. M (10 Game Audio) http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/102666-braddock-mr-m-10-game-audio.html YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 1 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 2 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 3 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 4 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 5 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 6 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on 10 Game - Part 7 of 7
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7.3 dating tip: Become Successful with Women by modeling http://www.braddocksblog.com/2010/02/22/dating-tip-become-successful-with-women-by-modeling
modeling the most common way we learn our dating habits is through modeling the behaviors of others. It starts with modeling our parents when we are children, then through watching our friends, movies, etc… When you hear someone say, “that guy is a natural”, what they really mean is, he had some great modeling as a child. When you think back to your childhood, who did you accidentally model? Was your dad a smooth, confident guy? Were you raised by a single mom who was overly religious and guarded? Were you raised by parents who had a healthy, loving, and caring relationship? Were you raised by parents who fought all the time and were basically roommates? these models have a profound effect on you and will continue to play out in your own life if you are not aware of them and you don’t change them. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with most people. If your dad was a wimp who got pushed around by your mom, you’ll likely find yourself in similar relationships. If your dad was overbearing and dominated women in an unhealthy way, you’ll likely find yourself dominating women in relationships. We tend to be identical to one or a combination of our parents’ belief systems in regards to love and relationships. We must be careful about the lessons we internalize and hold as fact. modeling family Just because someone we love and look up to did something a certain way doesn’t make it the best/ right way. sadly, we learn these behaviors at such a young age, they are now autopilot responses. We do them automatically and have a blind spot to how they might be holding us back. these blind spots could rear their head in multiple arenas depending on who you modeled. If your dad married the wrong woman or was cheated on, he probably taught you to be impatient and bitter toward women in general. If your dad was a weak guy who was just happy to have ‘a’ wife, then you were probably taught to put women on a pedestal and accept any and all behavior to please her. If your dad was a distant father who cheated on your mom but was loving and charismatic to the rest of the family, you probably learned that deep meaningful relationships with women are unrealistic and you learned to stay distant and guarded. Maybe your dad cheated on 84
7.3 Dating Tip: Become Successful with Women by Modeling your mom and you saw how hurt your mom was, so you went the polar opposite. You have vowed to never hurt a woman and you’ve taken it so far that you feel guilty if you even tease a woman or shoot her straight. Maybe you have a father who you look up to as if he is a superhero and he is amazing in most areas of his life but has a terrible relationship with your mother. However, despite this, you follow his relationship/dating advice dogmatically because you can’t stand the idea of letting him down. You’ll follow his advice even at the risk of marrying the wrong woman and having an unsatisfying relationship for years just so you don’t disappoint him. Then, when you have a son, you do the same thing to him unknowingly, because that’s what you modeled. Modeling Friends I think picking a healthy peer group is one of the most important decisions of your life. We’ve all heard the saying, “You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” I couldn’t agree more. Just because a friend is a good friend, a good person, great at business, or even great at attracting women, doesn’t mean you should model how he handles relationships. Some of the most charismatic friends I’ve ever had who could attract the hottest women and sleep with any girl they wanted were absolutely terrible at keeping an amazing woman or having a healthy relationship. Some of those great tactics that cause deep levels of attraction can be taken too far and cause a toxic relationship where it’s nothing but fights and jealousy. The relationship becomes a constant power struggle where the primary tools of expressing love are jealousy, withdrawal, and unhealthy boundary function. It’s not about connecting and dating their equal, it’s about dominating a woman and making sure she knows who has the power. Well, if you are modeling this, you can expect to end up in the same relationship prison. We often assume success in one area of life must mean success in all areas of life. I have mentors who are great at attracting beautiful women, but this in no way makes them qualified to be a mentor in relationship management. Unless you have seen someone you consider successful in a loving, healthy relationship, be careful about modeling their behaviors, thought patterns, and actions.
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7.3 Dating Tip: Become Successful with Women by Modeling Even worse is modeling the unhealthy friend who is jaded by women. These are the charismatic guys who speak from such a place of authority it can be easy to get sucked into their reality and believe what they say and think. Often times, they are extremely smart and interesting, but because they are either bad with women or were hurt by a woman, they spew their negative beliefs onto anyone who is willing to listen. I was one of these guys for a while. I remember after one of my girlfriends dumped me there was about a year and a half where I hated women. I saw them as users of men, manipulative, fake, disloyal, and, I just genuinely despised them. I’d spew my hate about women to all my friends and look for any shred of evidence I could find to validate my dark views toward them. I’d joke negative about women, jump on any opportunity to help my friends find reasons to dump their girlfriends, and was on a search and destroy mission to find, sleep with, and crush, every woman in the tri-state area. Because I’m a charismatic guy, and because I was still good enough to sleep with women despite being jaded, my friends couldn’t help but model my behavior. Unfortunately, it was a horribly unhealthy model for my friends to follow. I still feel guilty about the things I accidentally taught the guys around me, and the damage I probably caused in their lives and relationships. Model specific behaviors, overall character, and overall proactive thought patterns. Don’t necessarily model someone’s life. Modeling Gurus One of the biggest mistakes you can make is modeling the wrong dating coach. I did it….we all do this. Be very careful about this or you could find yourself running around a club wearing a top hat and 12 inch platform shoes. This industry is full of weird guys who hate women, have deep issues, are not as good with women as they say they are, over hype how good they are with women, and write tons of blog posts and articles that are half truths at best. Be careful about accepting any dating advice as fact and be leery of modeling the thoughts and opinions just because a guy says he’s a dating coach. Take the time to read numerous posts from that particular dating coach and try to read between the lines and figure out where he’s coming from. Does it sound like it’s coming from a good place….a healthy place? Is it coming from a confident guy who is sharing what works or is he constantly trying to prove himself to an unknown audience? Does it sound like a guy trying to get validation from men by bragging? Is he writing to impress or teach? Does what he say sound WAY too good to be true? If so, it probably is. 86
7.3 Dating Tip: Become Successful with Women by Modeling Another big problem I have with the community is many of the guys who teach this are not qualified to teach and those that are often write about and teach things that happen 1 out of 100 times instead of teaching about what happens 99 out of 100 times. A lot of guys give no context for the things they teach or the things they tell you to say. Things like “negging” have caused huge problems for guys all over the world. There are guys all over going up to girls and saying rude comments like, “You have shit in your teeth.” The idea of negging is fine if it is explained properly, but it’s not, so good guys end up getting blown out by girls and coming across really creepy. Guys will over hype things like bathroom pulls and other things that sound exciting on paper. They don’t tell you that they do those rarely and the girl usually is average looking at best. They make it sound like they are going out and pulling super models in the bathroom every night. If you read this and try to model it, you will find yourself frustrated and might even feel bad about yourself wondering why you can’t get the same results. Worse than anything, if you are modeling the mindsets of some of these guys, you are modeling a really unhealthy guy and modeling 1/2 truths that aren’t even real. Some of the guys I’ve met through this don’t need to be giving advice to anyone and could use a bump in the dosage of their psych meds. Make sure the guy you are modeling is healthy or you will ultimately pay the price. Who should you model? Modeling the right dating coach or natural can be extremely helpful. Going to a bootcamp and watching guys who are amazing with women is priceless. Hearing the mindsets and beliefs of guys who are fantastic with women can really set a good course for your dating life especially if you don’t have anyone who is good to model. Make sure whoever you model is getting the results you want. If you meet a guy who is great with women, but all the girls he dates are damaged unhealthy women, you will be setting yourself up to attract the same kind of women. Model someone who is getting the results you want. If you want a relationship, don’t model the guy who bangs 4 girls per week but hasn’t had a real relationship in his life. If you want 1,000 one night stands, don’t model the guy who is constantly in a long term relationship. That doesn’t mean you can’t steal a page out of each guy’s playbook, but you’ll want to put your main focus of modeling on people who are getting the result you want.
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7.3 Dating Tip: Become Successful with Women by Modeling Model behaviors and thoughts…Don’t try to BE that person. Be careful when you model someone that you don’t try to become that person. A lot of guys who were trying to model Mystery became weird, carbon copies of him. I had a friend in college who tried really hard to do what I was doing and it got strange at times. He would use the exact jokes I would normally say and had pretty much copied the way I dressed, spoke, joked, etc… It was not flattering. It annoyed me, came off weird to our friends, and it creeped out the girls that knew him before he started doing it. Also, don’t tell people you are modeling them. It creates a weird dynamic if you go out with a guy and you can tell he’s trying to be you. It’s ok to tell people you want them to mentor you, but you have to keep your identity and be your own person. Never try to become the person you are modeling. Also, just because a guy is a good model to learn from, doesn’t mean he’s a good guy to continuously go out with. I’ve had friends who were drastically better than me in the past, but they were so good that I felt like the little tree that was surrounded by trees so big, I couldn’t get any light to grow. They would get so much attention that I would almost feel worse about myself when I would try to keep up. That’s ok. Spend some time going out with these guys and spend some time going out with guys more on your level so you can grow as well. When you go out with these guys, use it as an opportunity to learn, not compete. What if you are forced to be around bad models? You’re not FORCED to be around anyone. You choose who you spend your time with and can choose to go through the pain of clipping bad friends and finding new healthy social circles. I’ve done it 3 or 4 times in my life. It was hard, but it was well worth it in the long run. But, I do have family members who I love, but are not the best models in certain areas whom I do spend time with. What I’ve done with these people is never give them a platform to taint my thoughts or accidentally corrupt me with the bad models they demonstrate. For example, if they have a terribly unhealthy relationship, I NEVER discuss my relationships with them and will only discuss theirs if they are asking for advice. This means changing the subject, stop asking bad models for advice, stop letting them give you advice, and avoiding certain topics with them. You have to guard your inner game like it’s Fort Knox. Don’t let unhealthy people pave the way for your thoughts. Surrounding yourself with healthy people will help you think, and behave, more healthily. 88
7.3 Dating Tip: Become Successful with Women by Modeling Summary • I personally feel one of the keys to success with attracting women and having a healthy dating life is being able to model certain attributes from different people who are successful in specific areas. • Model the behavior and thoughts, not the man in most areas. There are those few anomalies who have the entire package. Mr. M and I call these kinds of people guys who are going Supernova. They are blowing up and extremely successful, happy, and healthy, in all the important areas of life. I only know about 5 people like this and they are amazing people. • Healthy models are key but at minimum, we must have the awareness to recognize a bad model so we don’t blindly follow the same path. Surrounding yourself with good models will allow you to pick up the positive attributes of who they are through osmosis. You can’t help but be affected by the people you spend the most time with. Action Step: 1. Develop a sense of awareness: Take inventory of how your parents’ beliefs about dating, love, sex, and attraction, were transferred to you. Write down how your beliefs might be identical or opposite to either of them. 2. Reflect: Write down how this modeling has affected your dating life. Also write down how modeling certain friends‘ beliefs have affected your dating life. 3. Hit Reset: Become aware that this way of moving through the world isn’t necessarily you, but simply what you’ve learned. You now have a choice to be different and pick new models that are proactive to the goals and dating life you want. Now find models that align with what you are looking for in the form of natural friends, dating coaches, DVDs, audios, or books. -Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
8.1 Text Game
- Braddock’s Style of Texts
- “Pinging” Text Messages
- Text Message Examples
8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy
- 1. Re-initiating Mutual Contact
- 2. Increasing the Frequency and Intensity of Communication
- 3. Maintaining or Build Attraction
- 4. Maintaining or Build Comfort
- 5. The Other Side of the Bridge
- Damage Control
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covered in this chapter:
8.3 Text Game: Making The Number Solid
- How to Solidify a Number...Tonight!
- What to Text Her
8.4 The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game
- Sample Chapter
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8.1 Text Game http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61180-text-game-braddock.html
I will try to do a better write up on my text game rules sometime, but it’s such a hard thing to teach just by writing about it, but I think seeing this will be really helpful. Keep in mind that my style is just one of many. It all depends on your personality and your goals. I don’t want a girlfriend and I’m kinda bored with just one night stands unless I’m traveling, so, I go for more friends with benefits when I’m back home. Decide what you want. I’m typing up more and more of my text message game and I will try to post more of them by category in the future. Eventually, I want to show you what one night stand text game looks like, relationship text game looks like, day two style text game, and friends with benefits text game looks like. I don’t have time to type up each category right now, but I will try to in the future. Anyway, hope this helps........... 92
8.1 Text Game I like to keep my texts fun and light. If you sexually frame them when you meet, then you would be sruprised how sexual things can get over text before you even sleep with them. If a girl and I have already had sex, then they can get pretty sexual, but until then, I use lots of call back humor. If we’ve already had sex, or, if we haven’t had sex yet, but we have spent time together, then texts are a great way for me to “ping” her and keep the attraction alive until the next time we meet. They don’t have to be fun and amazing every time, but I think, if they are, then it is a helpful tool to set you apart from the other 10 guys she is talking to. Crucial point to getting good at text game ...... Just like with everything else in game you must calibrate it. Certain girls will respond more to certain types of humor and certain levels of comfort. Some girls love to joke rough and like when I’m kind of a dick to them in a joking way. Other girls respond more when I show a somewhat sweeter side and respond negatively to rough or sexual jokes. However, this can change. As you spend more and more time with any one girl, you can build compliance momentum and the same girl who acted disgusted by a sexually charged joke may send you texts that would make a porn star blush!!! Some girls love to write long texts to me and love when I write them long texts back. I’ve also noticed some girls that only respond when I respond with delayed, short texts that sub communicate that maybe I’m too busy for them or maybe I’m not sure if I’m interested. Some girls would stop talking to you if you sent them several messages like this. I like to mix it up and send both long, funny messages where I reply almost immediately some times, and then be short and business like where I take a while to reply other times. I feel it really keeps them off guard and on their toes with you. If you try to be super funny in every message and write a 4 page message EVERY TIME, then you look like you really want her bad, and you have nothing better to do. Not to confuse you even more, but once again the above MUST be calibrated. If things are going great and she is writing you 4 page messages back every time, then feel free to keep writing her long funny messages. Just because it worked on one girl doesn’t mean it will work on the next. You must learn to understand where you are with each girl. How do you do this? Go get lots of phone numbers and try different things. Fuck it up and lose girls. I have slept with many girls that I met one time for 20 minutes in a bar, never talked to on the phone, and only texted until they came over and we had sex. This isn’t how it usually goes, but it does happen, and it only happens because I’ve practiced my ass off at text game. I’ve also had girls that it was super on with at a bar, ran great attraction, qualification, and comfort game, and then fucked it up texting, and slowly lost her until she hardly replied. 93
8.1 Text Game It happens. Don’t let it get you down, it’s not a reflection of you, it just means you need to work on it. Get a journal, or start a word document and save your best stuff. You will start to see a pattern that takes place and you will start to see different patterns in girls. You will know when you need to start slow or when you can jump in and be more sexual. Another key point I’ve added recently and it’s really seemed to help is sending a mass text message to like 30 girls. Just something random and funny that doesn’t really ask them anything and doesn’t ask for much back. It’s just a small thing that I’ll do that just kind of forces them to think about me and not forget that I’m around. When you send these kinds of messages, it’s crucial that somewhere in the message, you put their first name. If it looks like a mass text message, then she won’t feel anything towards you when she reads it. She will assume you sent it to tons of people. By simply starting it with “What up Sara? bla bla bla” or threading her name in there somewhere, she will feel it was personal. I could write a novel on text game rules. I actually have a structure that I use and I teach at my bootcamps. I’m considering posting it, because I think it’s a crucial tool for any guy running cold approach game. Here is an example of how I ping with a girl between meet ups. I use call back humor and stay in a theme for a little while. Don’t keep it going forever, but keep it up as long as it’s fun. DON’T use this exact message!!!! This only works for me because it’s congruent with the guy she met and the guy she has hung out with. If you don’t have a sense of humor like mine then this message would come across as strange. When we met, she had a camo skirt on so I was calling her Rambo all night. Hence the army theme throughout this text..... Text to Lauren: Braddock: “Echo 1 this is Bravo Company…kksssh. Nip/Tuck in t-minus 5 min….kkshh. I repeat: mother bird is in her nest….kkshh. Repeat: the crypts are raiding the liquor store. Copy? Over….” 94
8.1 Text Game Lauren: “Bravo company this is Echo one and I’m pickin up what you’re putting down but unfortunately I won’t be privy to such luxuries’ as nip tuck, tonight bc I have other engagements to tend to …such as studying for exams and preparing for my interview tomorrow morning…I’m counting on you to take notes and provide a detailed summary of the nights events. Think you can handle that?” Braddock: “Echo 1 this is Alpha 1. That last transmission was inaccurate. Nip/tuck in t minus 50 minutes. Don’t let Charlie see this message…Self destruct in 5 secs.” Lauren: “Bla Bla Bla….” Braddock: “Roger that Lima Bravo. That’s a 10-28 (loud & clear). Tango X Ray will be in service. Zulu acknowledges message & will return to headquarters w/assignment completed. Delta Foxtrot has tivo ready & waiting for mission. Report by land line after your tasks are completed b/c Romeo Delta wants a full debriefing of enemy engagements. Divide & conquer all tasks this week. Hoo-rah! Lauren: “Bla Bla Bla…..” Text with me and LP: Braddock: “How are things with you and the virgin? Is the sex mind blowing?” LP: “Shut up jerk, you are so mean! Braddock : (Sent pic of parents new puppy) LP: “Do you really think that’s going to make me like you more? Nice try. But he is oh so cute.” Braddock: “Cute? More than cute. He’s cute as a damn button. He’s a virgin like your boyfriend!!! Shall I hook you up???!!! LP: “Hahaha!!” LP: “I dumped him you jerk! Are you going to Sara’s Bday party?” 95
8.1 Text Game Braddock: “Unless it’s a bible study….. no.” LP: “You are so full of shit.” Braddock : “Why cause I love Jesus? You could learn a lot from him. If we don’t hang out by Sunday I’m deleting your number.” LP: “Well you never call me. I have 3 test Monday!” Braddock: “You never call me”…….Hey LP, I’m getting another call….It’s 1945 they want your views on not calling boys back when your done with them. Fine, then I guess I’ll delete it now, but I’m going to have to get drunk to scrape that tattoo of your number and pic off my ass…..damn it!” LP: “LOLOL You are sooo weird!! Where do you come up with that stuff?” Braddock: “Are you being a bitch to me because I’m black? God I hate Texas girls, so closed minded.” LP: “LoL….See! Let’s hang out Sunday. Can I study at your house?” Braddock: “Is …. “Study at your house,” code for group sex? I’m gonna go with no. I have to floss my cat’s teeth…….or something. Sorry. Maybe another time.” LP: “Shut up I’m coming at 7!” Braddock: “I’m a human dynamo in bed, but I don’t know if I’m good enough for you to name an exact time that you will orgasm, but we’ll try. The safety word this week will be Fire Engine. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is just not working out for me. It’s not that it’s too long, it just reminds me of my ex wife. LP: “LOLOL That’s not what I meant! Sara said she wants to come too.” Braddock: “So many 3some jokes going through my mind, but I’m not into toilet humor ………. You guys have to bring cookies… And GOD HELP YOU IF THEY ARE CHOCOLATE CHIP OR PEANUT 96
8.1 Text Game BUTTER!!! I hate chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter cookies slightly more than terrorism….. but just slightly.” LP: “haha….fine. Do you like snicker doodle?” Braddock: “If snicker doodle cookies were a girl…. I would call them a 6, if I was drunk. I would make out with her, but she would never meet mom.” Lauren: “lololol…..OMG!!!! Who are you? What kind do you like?” Braddock: “Who am I? 2 weeks of marriage and 5 kids and you still don’t know me? That’s exactly why I need this break. Well that and the fact that you have crooked teeth and cankles……….Oatmeal Raisin, sugar, etc…..” LP: “HAHAHA!!!!! Cankles!!! I don’t think sooo and you know I have perfect teeth. You told me you loved them when we met.” Braddock: “I was drunk and just trying to get you to bake me cookies.” LP: “LOL…..well I guess it worked.” Braddock: “Ok, my thumbs are starting to hurt, I’m getting carpel tunnel. I’d call you later, but my throat clinches up and I get all nervous on the phone with girls. I just don’t know what to say, so I’ll just hide behind my text messages until I see you Sunday. Do we actually have to hang out or can you just drop the cookies off on the porch?” LP: “HAHAHA…just tell them how pretty they are. Probably shouldn’t mention cankles and bad teeth. Just a start. I’ll put them in the mailbox…See you Sunday brat.” Text with Alexis: She is in medical school, so I use lots of humor about her being a nurse instead of a doctor or just any joke I can think of about med school or the medical field. 97
8.1 Text Game BUTTER!!! I hate chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter cookies slightly more than terrorism….. but just slightly.” LP: “haha….fine. Do you like snicker doodle?” Braddock: “If snicker doodle cookies were a girl…. I would call them a 6, if I was drunk. I would make out with her, but she would never meet mom.” Lauren: “lololol…..OMG!!!! Who are you? What kind do you like?” Braddock: “Who am I? 2 weeks of marriage and 5 kids and you still don’t know me? That’s exactly why I need this break. Well that and the fact that you have crooked teeth and cankles……….Oatmeal Raisin, sugar, etc…..” LP: “HAHAHA!!!!! Cankles!!! I don’t think sooo and you know I have perfect teeth. You told me you loved them when we met.” Braddock: “I was drunk and just trying to get you to bake me cookies.” LP: “LOL…..well I guess it worked.” Braddock: “Ok, my thumbs are starting to hurt, I’m getting carpel tunnel. I’d call you later, but my throat clinches up and I get all nervous on the phone with girls. I just don’t know what to say, so I’ll just hide behind my text messages until I see you Sunday. Do we actually have to hang out or can you just drop the cookies off on the porch?” LP: “HAHAHA…just tell them how pretty they are. Probably shouldn’t mention cankles and bad teeth. Just a start. I’ll put them in the mailbox…See you Sunday brat.” Text with Alexis: She is in medical school, so I use lots of humor about her being a nurse instead of a doctor or just any joke I can think of about med school or the medical field. 98
8.1 Text Game Alexis: “Did you find a new love bunny in LA or what!? Did we really break up? Braddock: “We will NEVER break up. You took my virginity, as they say in the movie Highlander, “There can be only one!!!” Alexis: “HAHA….you gotta be the only person who would reference Highlander in a text message. Ur a weirdo : p” Braddock: “Ha. Don’t fuck with me on movie trivia…. I’m a man amongst boys.” Alexis: “I’ll keep that in mind. Where u been hiding jerk face!? Thought a lion ate ur arm! Braddock: “I know I know….I’ve been on lock down the last few weeks.” Alexis: “And who has u on lock?” 2 hours later….. Braddock: “Just been crazy busy with work…. What are you up to?” Alexis: “Pray for me, I have a Chem test 2day. Need a 96 for an A in the class!!! (Few hours later)…… Braddock: “How did your test go?” Alexis: “About to go take it! After my work out…” Braddock: “Good luck. Kick some ass. Trample the weak and hurdle the dead!” Alexis: “LOL….You are crazy! I’m putting that as my myspace quote!” Braddock: “Do you want me to text you the answers for your test?”
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8.1 Text Game Alexis: “They convinskate phones…It’s in the testing center…..And im a genius anyways…Thanks tho babe.” Braddock: “hmmm… “convinskate.” LoL….Your genius must be limited to Chem.” Alexis: “LoL….you jerk! I really am smart.” Braddock: “I know, you’re one of the nerdiest girls I know…. That’s why I like you. Do you wear a pocket protector?” Alexis: “Heck yeah I do!!! Everyday in my scrubs….. You are so mean!!!!!!” Braddock: “Mooohaha.” Alexis: “Do u wear a fanny pack?” Braddock: “Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?!? Hell yeah I do. It’s custom made. It’s Italian leather with Braddock in rhinestones. It’s a dual pocket 2 zipper comfort fit.” Alexis: “You are so weird! My dad use to say, “Does Raggedy Anne have cotton boobs!” Braddock: “The answer to your dads question is “no.” That’s actually an urban legend. I believe her breasts are actually buttons.” Later that night…. Alexis: “When are u going to actually come hang out instead of working out ur thumbs all day?” Braddock: “Dude, we gotta ask my mom……..she’s gonna say, “Go ask your dad.” And he’s gonna make us leave the door open and the lights on the whole time you are here……” Alexis: “Well, tell them ur going to one of your buddy’s houses and then just come stay with me. My parents are out of town this weekend.” 100
8.1 Text Game Braddock: “Nice thinking.” Later Later that night…… Alexis: “I’m going to bet. Good night, have a great day tomorrow.”(She then messaged me on myspace) Braddock: “Sending me messages on myspace? I thought you went to bed. How can we be together if you are gonna lie to me all the time?” bla bla bla..... -B
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8.2 text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy http://www.braddocksblog.com/2011/06/21/phone-and-text-game-basics
have you ever met someone great, gotten her phone number, but it never seemed to turn into a date? A while back, Nick savoy, the president of love systems, wrote an article and did a podcast for this site to introduce what we do - what we call dating science. for a technology audience, we wanted to follow these up with something focused on text messaging. This article will give a simplified overview of how to use text messages to go from the first time you meet someone to going on a date. our overall system is explained in savoy’s book, Magic Bullets. Here’s what we’ll be covering in this article: Why don’t some phone numbers lead to dates? text message bridges re-initiate mutual contact Increase the frequency and intensity of communication Maintain or build attraction Maintain or build comfort the other side of the bridge Damage control further context Why don’t some phone numbers lead to dates? let’s say you see a very attractive woman at a restaurant waiting for her friends. using our techniques, you approach her, attract her, and then get her phone number so you can “go out sometime”. At that moment, she genuinely would “go out” with you “sometime”… …but it doesn’t always turn out that way. Going out “sometime” is different from going out thursday night (which is why, as we’ve discussed in Magic Bullets, and in our interview download on phone game, this is a bad way to get a woman’s phone number). to see her “sometime” all you have to do is be more interesting than doing
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy nothing. That’s a pretty low standard. She can agree to that. And, if she has nothing else to do, she might actually see you. However, most desirable women rarely have “nothing else to do”. For her to go on a date, you need to be more interesting than anything else she could be doing, like friends, hobbies, work, or relaxing at home. Or any other man she met that night - if you noticed her, other men did too. She likes all of the attention and flirting, but she doesn’t have time to go on 9 dates this week. Even if she did, many desirable women would still hesitate to answer your call, even if she was attracted to you when you first met. There are many possible reasons for this - some will apply to some women and some situations more than others: *Safety concerns. Especially if she doesn’t know you that well or you don’t know people in common. *Fear of social awkwardness. If she doesn’t know you that well, she may wonder if the two of you will really “click”. Even if she has no reason to think that you wouldn’t, not being sure can be enough for some women to avoid a date that might be awkward or uncomfortable. *Analysis. Why are you asking her out if you didn’t meet for very long? Are you desperate? Are you a player? *Timing. You don’t know what mood she’ll be in when you call or what she’ll be doing. After meeting you just one time, her commitment to seeing you again can be pretty fragile, and if you don’t get a hold of each other soon, memories and emotions dissipate. You lose value and emotional momentum (both of these concepts are explained in Magic Bullets but should be understandable in context) with every unreturned voicemail. Naturally, the best way to deal with this is to make as strong of an impression as possible in your first meeting. Most of what we teach on our bootcamps revolves around this, in order to lead to a more intimate situation the same day or to a date that won’t fall through (depending on the situation and your preferences). But sometimes you can’t do this - like in the above example when her friends are about to arrive and take her to dinner. So, that’s why we created the “bridging” technique - to get from a situation where a woman might have a low commitment to meeting up again to where the
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy two of you are on a date. The lower her commitment, the more important these bridging techniques. If instead of meeting this woman at a restaurant, if you’d been introduced to her by a mutual friend and spent a few sober hours really getting to know each other, asking each other every question under the sun, spending time alone, kissing, and making plans to see each other, she would likely be highly-committed to seeing you again. In such situations, you can usually just go ahead and call. However, we will often still use bridging techniques because A) sometimes we might err and think a woman is more committed or less flaky than she turns out to be B) they won’t hurt. Some of these techniques may seem like overkill. Often, they are unnecessary since with good game, you can get most women to answer the phone and make plans. However, they are important for a couple of reasons. If you meet someone you really want, it can be worth doing the work to increase your odds for “likely” to “near certain”. Second, many of us got involved in dating science because we wanted to date women who would normally be “out of our league”. None of us are rich, or supermodels. Almost all of our instructors are formerly bootcamp students. So, what might be overkill when meeting the type of woman who might be attracted to you anyway can be crucially important when meeting a stunning, intelligent, fun, and sexy woman who attracts powerful, and successful men, wherever she goes. Text message bridges Without further ado, let’s get into the meat of the system. Text message bridging has five major components: 1. Re-initiate mutual contact 2. Increase the frequency and intensity of communication 3. Maintain or build attraction 4. Maintain or build comfort 5. The other side of the bridge
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy 1. Re-initiate mutual contact After you meet a woman, use a text message to re-initiate contact instead of a phone call. Texts don’t require much commitment. People sometimes don’t answer their phones or listen to their voicemails, but everyone reads their text messages. You don’t have to worry about her mood or her schedule when you text; if she’s not free, she’ll read it when she is. And, it takes far less commitment on her part to return a text message than it does to answer the phone or return a call. Send your first message within 24 hours of meeting her, 48 hours at the most. This ensures that she remembers as much as possible from your first meeting and that the good emotions she feels toward you don’t dissipate. This is especially important with younger women with a more intense social schedule who meet a lot of people. Your first text is crucial. She has to respond and it has to point the two of you in the right direction. The best way to do this is to use callback humor. Callback humor involves recalling topics, ideas, generalities, social or geographic stereotypes relating to your original conversation that you can twist into a joke. Advanced men will deliberately “seed” the initial conversation with opportunities for callback humor. For example, Braddock recently met Katie, a banker. During the initial meeting he teased her about her supposedly evil corporate ways. So his first text drew on this: “Katie the banker! Don’t stay out too late, you have to be up early to foreclose on that orphanage of blind kids, you’ll need to be fresh!! : ) -Braddock “ Another night, Braddock met Julie. Among other things, they talked about relationships and pet peeves. They agreed that they both hate clinginess and the words “cuddle” and “snuggle”. So, Braddock followed up with: “Nice meeting you Julie. Let’s get together for a “snuggle” session ASAP! -Braddock” If you’re stuck, then A) plan to introduce subjects for callback humor next time and B) for now, send something simple like “Nice to meet you [name]. Have a good night. -[Your name].”
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy Always sign your name on the first text. It avoids the “who is this?” text message response, which costs emotional momentum. (Of course, OAP readers should know by now to program your name and number into her phone when you get hers. If you don’t, stop now and get Magic Bullets or the interview on phone game. Take things one step at a time. Don’t try to get her to meet up in the first text message. Don’t try to build comfort, or build attraction. These all come later in the conversation. Right now it’s just about getting on the map. Message her and get her to reply. Now communication has been established and you can go from there. 2. Increase Frequency and Intensity After the first exchange of text messages, your goal is to build her commitment level to meeting up with you again by increasing the frequency and intensity of your messaging. Keep the conversation moving forward by making statements instead of asking questions as much as possible. Questions put her on the spot and repeated questions risk putting her in defensive “interview mode” which isn’t exciting or attractive. Keep any questions light, and simple that if she didn’t answer, it’s not like she’s blowing you off, and don’t ask too many boring “yes” or “no” questions. Going through Braddock’s sent items folder on his phone, we can see some examples of good early text messages: “How did your project turn out? Did they give you a raise or at least give you a small army of interns to boss around?” “Just saw the news. Chi town - 20! Let me guess, beach volleyball today?” “Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? That’s ridiculous… Gotta love animal planet during the lunch break…” Stay away from things that can end a conversation or lose her attraction for you. Usually this will happen if you do something that assumes a higher commitment level than she actually has. For example:
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy Rushing to make plans: “I’m so glad we met! I’ve never met a girl like you.” Or even “I hope your trip to Chicago was great!!! I want to hear all about it. I would love to see you when you get home. Do you have plans Friday when you get home?” When you read sample text messages in this article, some of them might seem silly. Much of dating science is counter-intuitive, because most of what people have been taught about social dynamics is wrong. Human attraction does not work the way it does on TV or in movies. Even so-called experts are not in bars, clubs, restaurants, parks, coffee shops, and lounges interacting with the most beautiful women there, day, after day, and actually practicing what they preach. We use what works, no matter how unusual it seems on paper, so stay open-minded and let your only judge be how well these techniques work in the real world. 3. Building Attraction Presumably, she was attracted to you when you met, but this dissipates over time. You can’t build a ton of attraction in text messages but you can build some, and you can use texts to bring her attraction levels back up to the level where you first met and you can maintain it there. In Magic Bullets we identify and explain the eight most universal “attraction switches” - things that most women will be attracted to (Health, Social Intuition, Humor, Status, Wealth, Pre-selection, Confidence, and Challenging). But that’s a general guide, not a specific plan for an individual woman; so, use your knowledge of her and her personality to calibrate her. Attraction is built emotionally, not logically. Through text messaging, it’s best done with light-hearted messages that assume a level of familiarity, contain wit or humor, and are flirty without making her uncomfortable. Some good elements to include are: *Role plays *Random childish jokes *Light sexual teasing or misinterpretation *Funny or teasing pet names *Invoking commonalities you found when you met (this also builds comfort, coming up) We can’t cover all of these in detail in this article (and it’s not an exhaustive list anyway), but
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy let’s go through a couple of examples. Role playing is a powerful technique. When Braddock met Claire, he found out that she was from San Diego. Among other things, they talked about the movie, Anchorman. So, even a silly text message like “I’m Ron Burgundy, I’m kind of a big deal” made her laugh and boosted her attraction. It’s not just one-liners either. Sometimes the attraction or humor comes from the back-and-forth. Returning to example of Katie the Banker, we can see this attraction-building conversation: Braddock: “Are you stealing pennies from the elderly or telling Tiny Tim’s dad that he has to work an extra shift. You know this could be Tim’s last Christmas…….” Katie: “Who is tiny Tim?” Braddock : “Wow….missed the scrooge reference?!? Minus 3 cool points….” Katie: “Ohhhhh….wait!!! Now I remember the Christmas movie. Not fair, Tiny Tim threw me off.” Braddock : “They let retards play with people’s money!?!? Hmmm…. What bank do you work at again? Ok, back to work. Talk to you later brat. : ) [or suitable nickname…this one worked here because she was young and already acknowledged she can be a bit of a brat sometimes]” You still want to be unpredictable and challenging enough to keep her interested. Don’t always send long replies, don’t always reply quickly, and don’t always be funny. Varying how and when you reply helps build value and scarcity. It will make her feel like she has to earn you. But be careful with this one, and don’t ruin a good situation by playing too many games. You can’t technically see her face, body language, or hear her voice tonality to truly know how she is reacting to this. Don’t try to impress her through text messages. Trying to thread a bunch of information that you assume will make her like you more, often has the opposite effect. 4. Building Comfort In addition to maintaining, and building, attraction, you need to maintain, and build, comfort. This is actually easier since building comfort is as much about what you don’t do as what you do. 108
8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy In general, just act like a positive, non-threatening environment in her life. As long as your conversation is going well, time and communication will build and maintain comfort for you. Some of the things that break her comfort with you include: *Trying to make plans with her too early. This might make her feel pressured and on the spot. *Being too predictable. This affects attraction as well. If you always respond to her messages right away and are clearly trying too hard, this might make her uncomfortable. Generally, a woman will be more comfortable if you seem to be at least a little bit of a challenge. *Responding negatively when she shows low commitment. Some women may be interested but still don’t always reply or will still send short responses. If you become angry or needy, that kills comfort. Don’t react to low commitment behavior by apologizing for making jokes and/or asking what you did wrong. A woman wants a man who is centered and not dependent on her approval or putting her on a pedestal, especially early on. Always stay positive and unaffected. *Implying that she is much more committed than she actually is. Assuming some familiarity is great, but avoid early texts that are overly sweet, or overly nice. Be real, and don’t try to trade kindness for her approval or affection. Stay away from a text like: “I just walked past the most beautiful rose garden. It reminded me of you. You had a rose pattern on your skirt last Saturday, right? Hope you are having a wonderful day.” Most women would think this is creepy and that the man is reaching too hard to try to find commonalities. Even, “did you get home safe?” won’t help you unless it’s in a context in which you would ask that of any close friend. Light, fun text messages that add to her day without making her feel pressured create comfort. Here are a couple of examples - there’s nothing special about them in themselves; just get a sense of the general pattern: “Next coworker, who feels it necessary to smugly inform me, (unsolicited I might add) that their 3rd grader made the honor role, is getting a body slam followed by the people’s elbow! How’s your day?”
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy “What’s up crazy? [or suitable nickname] Just saw a guy walking an English bulldog like you said you wanted. That poor thing was hideous. What are you thinking?!” [obviously this was to someone who said she had an English bulldog] 5. The other side of the bridge Obviously, you’re not going to get very far just by sending low-commitment texts back and forth. We’re trying to get her on a date. With experience and intuition, you’ll start to see patterns and know when the moment is ripe. In the meantime, you can test her commitment level without too much risk by using a technique we call “baiting”. The bait is usually a non-specific or low-pressure text about the two of you meeting up. It’s like touching a woman’s arm in conversation. If she is interested, she’ll respond. If not, you haven’t lost any ground and can keep working from where you are. Here are some examples of non-specific invitations. The [random content] means that you have something - anything - in that slot so the whole text isn’t the invitation. Any of the examples of good text messages that we’ve already seen would make good [random content] here, and the nonspecific invitation can be tacked onto the end: “[Random content]”, let’s get together next week...” “[Random content]”, if we don’t hang out soon then I’m going to start cheating on you.” “[Random content]”, tell your interns to pencil me in for next week or I’m putting “single” back up on facebook.” If her commitment is lower than usual, and you’re not improving things very quickly in text, you can start baiting with lower-intensity plans. The classic formula is “you guys should meet us out”. She doesn’t have to be alone or invest a lot to make these kinds of plans happen, and they’re more likely to actually take place especially with a woman with a very busy social schedule and lots of male attention. Remember, we’re not trying to make a woman fall in love over text message - real gains happen in person. The object is to get her out so we have a chance to connect with her. And if she doesn’t end up coming out, you don’t really lose any ground with her - you just invited her and her friends to something you were (in theory) doing anyway and for all she knows, you invited 110
8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy lots of friends. Here are some more examples: “We are going to be at X bar, you and your friends should stop by.” “Sara, we are going to be at X bar Friday night. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to show up between the hours of 11pm and 2am. This message will self destruct in 30 sec!!! Hope to see you there….” “Sara! X bar Friday night! Be there or we are breaking up and I’m not taking you back this time… …I’m signing the divorce papers and fighting for full custody” You can still use [random content] to lead in to these, but it’s not necessary. Baits should never be overly specific or imply a rejection if she doesn’t say yes or come out. These would be some bad examples: “What are you doing later?” “Hey Sara. How are you? I’m going to X bar Saturday with some friends. Would you like to come? It’s going to be fun.” Damage Control Some situations are harder than others and sometimes you will feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Some men who feel a situation slipping through their fingers will make the fatal mistake of trying to reel her back by texting more and/or longer texts. Do not text from the mindset of: “I need to correct my mistake.” Think back to a time when a woman chased you when you weren’t giving her any encouragement and how you lost attraction for her. Once things start going downhill, it’s really hard to turn them around. Even “good” texts at this point just come across as try-hard or supplicative. In general, if it’s not working, stop the bleeding. Stop sending her messages. If it was a minor mistake, then just stop texting her for a day or two and give her time to forget about it. Then, send her something light in a few days and pretend like it never happened. Never text her asking if you
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8.2 Text Game Basics by Braddock and Savoy messed up, or apologize assuming you did something wrong if you didn’t, or try too hard to be funny, or say “just kidding” incessantly. If it was a major mistake, wait longer before re-initiating. Some women just don’t like texting. In such situations, don’t force the issue; just call her. Further Context This (very brief and simplified) summary will hopefully give some idea on how more phone numbers can be turned into dates and also give you a taste of how dating science can work . We wanted to close by listing a few good resources for further reading: Magic Bullets - by Nick Savoy. The Love Systems Routines Manual - hundreds of specific stories, games, openers, and things to say or do in virtually any situation, with an analysis of each. These are word-for-word the things we actually use when meeting women. Hope this helps, -Braddock
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8.3 Text Game: Making the Number Solid http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/112401-text-game-making-number-solid-braddock.html
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8.3 Text Game: Making the Number Solid Let me give you something awesome you can start doing tonight to help you reduce flaky numbers and cut your workload in half. Remember, the goal of phone and text game is simply to get her comfortable enough to meet you again. There are a million things you “can” do with the phone, but they are simply bonus points. Getting her on a date or getting her to come to your house is the only goal that really matters. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is that they treat the phone number like it’s a hostage and they are a Navy Seal trying to extract it. They come in, talk to the woman just long enough to pique her interest, ask her for the phone number, and move on right after typing it in their phone. This is a sure fire way to guarantee you have a flaky number at best. She probably won’t even answer calls or return your texts. I won’t get into why this causes flakes right now, The Phone and Text Game book covers this in great detail, I just want to give you a way around it. Tonight, after you take a woman’s phone number, put your phone back in your pocket, stay there, and keep talking to her. Wait a minute or two, then, take your phone out as if you are checking the time or you just received a text message. The woman won’t question it, just keep talking. Then, send her a text message. Don’t tell her of course, just put your phone back in your pocket and keep talking. What do you send her? This will depend on how far along you are with that particular woman. The more physical we have been with one another, the more edgy I would be. If it was flirty, but it wasn’t that on yet, I would keep it slightly teasing and flirtatious. Example: (Light flirting) (The woman was wearing a blue dress and at some point in the conversation she told me she was from San Diego) Braddock: “This cute girl from San Diego in a sexy blue dress won’t stop flirting with me. What should I do? :) -Braddock”
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8.3 Text Game: Making the Number Solid She’s going to check her phone expecting it to be from someone else. When she notices that it’s you, she will almost always smile and text you back. Now, you two are having a normal conversation verbally, but flirting with each other and role playing through text all while you are standing within 2 feet of each other. By the time you guys leave the venue you will have a text chain of 5 maybe even 10 texts already rolling. The next day when you go to text her it’s not just some mystery number, it’s a continuation of the text message chain from the night before. She is 100 times more likely to respond to you then some guy who took her number, walked off right after, and then text her out the blue from a number she doesn’t recognize. This is such a powerful tool. Try it out tonight. -B
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8.4 The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/126263-ultimate-guide-phone-text-game.html Used properly, Phone and Text Game can cause a person not only to become more attracted to you, but also become ADDICTED to you. What do I mean by “addicted”? Think about it - have you ever texted a girl and not heard back from her? How did it make you feel? You checked your phone frequently waiting for her text message. You may have even texted her twice. Or three times. Or called her. In worse case scenarios, her lack of reply literally drove you crazy. She was the only thing that you could think about... until she texted you back. It’s like you were paralyzed. To make matters worse - you weren’t sure whether to call, whether to text of whether to just do nothing and wait for her reply! The point is that she was taking up your thoughts to the point of distraction. THAT is what I call SUPER HIGH LEVEL ATTRACTION. THAT is what you call addiction. You literally can cause someone to be addicted to you through phone and text. So, that’s how powerful Phone and Text Game can be if you know how to use it. The best thing is that you can do this to her. Imagine having the super hot girl that you want sitting there, unable to think of anything except... well... YOU. That is one of the main aims (if not THE main aim) of Phone and Text Game - to literally get her addicted to you. The full path to attaining this sort of “addiction” is what Braddock and I cover indepth in the glorious 150+ pages in The Ultimate Guide To Phone And Text Game Book, which took us a year to write, but you can get a glimpse of what it takes from the free chapter. So here you go... FREE CHAPTER OF THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO PHONE AND TEXT GAME
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covered in this chapter:
9.1 College Game Videos
- College Game Videos Parts 1-8
9.2 Q and A on College and Social Circle Game...
- What Openers are Best for College Campuses
- When to Push for the Close
- “Getting Sticky”
- Cold Approach Example (on Campus)
9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to get you laid)
- 1. Logistics…..
- 2. Mini Social Circles
- Opening
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covered in this chapter:
- Running Atraction in Clubs
- Gaming at Your Hotel
- What to do During the Day
- Frame Setting
- Example Frames
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9.1 College Game Videos http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/103567-college-game-videos-braddock.html YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 1 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 2 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 3 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 4 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 5 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 6 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 7 of 8 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on College Game - Part 8 of 8
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9.2 Q & A on College and Social Circle Game... http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/71166-braddock-q-college-social-circle-game.html
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9.2 Q & A on College and Social Circle Game... Question: “What sort of openers would you use in a regular college setting (I.E. walking across campus first few days and see a hot girl)?” Answer: On a true cold approach in a college setting, I always used situational openers or functional openers. They aren’t sexy, but they ensure that you won’t be called out for “gaming,” which is crucial in a small fish bowl setting such as a college campus. Normal openers can, and will work, but if you ever get caught by the wrong girl it has potential to do irreversible damage to your social status in the eyes of that girl and any girl in her social circle. Walking on campus: Braddock: “Do you know where the Nielson Hall is?” Girls studying in the library: Braddock: “Do you know what time this place closes?” Girls standing somewhere: Braddock: “You look really familiar. Did we have class together last semester?” Then I would transition into normal conversation and/or tease her lightly. Remember you will likely see her again either on campus or out at a party or bar so don’t try too push things to fast or too far unless you get the vibe that she is really into you. In that case, I would go for her phone number right there. However, if you feel any discomfort on her part or if you feel that it would be pushing it to go for the number or date, then just back off and say, Braddock: “Thanks, I gotta run, but it was nice meeting you. I’m Braddock.” Shake her hand and then walk away with your value intact. Even if she doesn’t remember you the next time she sees you, you are better off than if you tried to game too hard when 121
9.2 Q & A on College and Social Circle Game... the timing wasn’t right and she rejects you. It can be hard to recover from a true cold approach rejection in social circle game. Why would I recommend that you merely open and then eject without pushing for the number? That goes against everything you’ve learned through cold approach. Does it sound like I’m telling you to pussy out and not close? That’s not exactly what I’m saying. If she likes you and you are ejecting because you are scared to ask for her number, well, that’s a different post. However, tactically ejecting is not a cop out; it’s the proper move if you sense that attempting to ask for her number or a date would be too much. In our Social Circle Mastery seminar, Mr. M and I call this tactic, “Getting Sticky.” Getting sticky is an old advertising term used to describe a crucial phase where a product must be seen multiple times by consumers in order for them to remember what it is and what it does just by hearing the name. They say that consumers need to be exposed to a product in one form or another at least 6 times before it will be remembered. It obviously doesn’t take 6 times for you to remember someone you just met, but it might take 6 times for you to see them and greet them as a person you now see as a card carrying member of your social circle. This is especially true for people that meet you when you are unavoidably in a low or neutral value situation. You remember people who are of substantial value or of potential value. Obviously, the less real or potential value perceived by that girl will determine how long the sticky phase will last. If you had high situational value when you met, then, she will likely remember you and welcome you as part of her social circle almost immediately. If you met in a situation where you were of low or neutral value then you may need to meet a few times or she will have to hear about you several times before you are even on her radar. This is why cold approach is so tough. You have an extremely small window of time to prove that you are a high value, scarce, resource. If you fail to be seen in such a light, her mind will not focus any mental energy on you. Regardless of outcome, mathematically, you are better off to push the encounter as far as possible even if your value is not optimal. It is essentially a waste of your time to not see if you can get her number or bounce her that night because you will most likely never see her again. Because you will never see her again, who gives a shit if you cause irreversible damage with one random set? You will never see them again so it does not matter. That blow out cannot have long term effects on your overall social status.
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9.2 Q & A on College and Social Circle Game... Social circle game is much easier and it is much different. You can build your value over time, and strike at the perfect moment. If, situationally, your value is low in one situation, you can wait it out and escape witthout losing value and live to fight another day when your value is optimal. If there is a high probability that she will see you again, then you can build your value and comfort over multiple encounters instead of going for the cold approach mindset of “home run or strikeout.” That means, if you are cold approaching on campus and it’s a cold set, or it’s a girl that you don’t have much time or value to work with, then just use the first encounter to “get sticky” and get on her radar. You can always turn up the heat later when the timing is perfect. I.E. When you are sticky, meaning she now knows who you are and would at minimum say hi if she saw you out or on campus, and you have high situational value. This means she sees you in an environment where her eyes can see that you are a high value guy. This means she sees you as one of the cool guys in a high value group of guys and/or she sees cool/hot girls respond positively to you. This doesn’t mean she needs to see you making out with girls. It means seeing you with girls, talking to girls, girl buddies running up and hugging you. Situational value can be, and usually is, all smoke and mirrors. This means it doesn’t even have to be real. It could literally be girls hugging you that like you as a friend whom you have no chance in hell with. However, to an outside eye it looks like maybe you could have those girls. I’m not going to detail how to game once you are in the social circle in this post. It’s covered in great detail in our seminar. I want this to focus on opening and becoming sticky. Example of how to become sticky through cold approach.... Braddock:”You look really familiar, were you in Dr. Smith’s politics of South America class last semester?” Her: “No. I’m a journalism major.” Braddock: “Hmm....Are you sure because you look like that girl who cheated off me all the time? I meant to tell you that I didn’t appreciate that.” Her: “Haha...Nope wasn’t me.”
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9.2 Q & A on College and Social Circle Game... Braddock: “That’s Cool. Sorry about that. Alright, I’ll see you around.” (Take two steps away) “Oh shit, what’s your name by the way? I’m Braddock.” Her: “Katie.” Braddock: “Nice to meet you Katie. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” Her: “Nice to meet you too. Bye.” Ok, stop reading posts, turn your computer off, and go do at least one approach before you come back!!!! Hope this helps. London is sick! Hope to see some of you guys at the seminar this weekend.
-Braddock
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/89055-spring-break-game-braddocks-definitiveguide-guaranteed-get-you-laid.html
Mr. M and I are doing a bootcamp March 13-15 in Cancun Get a hotel where the action is…. 1. Logistics….. This may or may not cost you a little more cash, but it’s easily worth it. There are usually 1 or 2 125
9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) hotels that are where all the action is and where most of the hot girls will be staying. It’s worth calling around to figure out which hotels these are. Don’t assume that just because you are staying at the most expensive hotel on the beach that you will be in the heart of the action. It could be so expensive that only old people are staying there. If you are broke as a joke, like I was in college, and you can’t afford to stay in one of the hotels where all the action is, you can still have a blast on spring break. However, you may find that your hotel room is a logistical nightmare. It’s hard to bring a hot, classy woman back to the Roach Motel. You can still have a good time even if you have to stay in a terrible room. My roommate and I once slept in our car!! As far as logistics are concerned, it is nice when you meet women who are staying in the same hotel room as you because the hotel pulls for you. After going out, you both are naturally going to have to end up back there. From there you only have to move her to your room or a place where the two of you can be alone. You don’t have to try and convince her to ditch her friends or to come back to some hotel far from where she is staying. It’s harder to convince girl’s friends to let her leave and stay at another hotel with a stranger, but getting her to go up an elevator 3 floors in a hotel you are both staying is much easier. It’s hard enough to pull girls on spring break with a good or bad hotel, but what’s even worse is that most hotels now require each guest to wear a special wristband specific to that hotel and don’t allow non guests into the hotel. So, you can pull the hottest woman in the world and not get her into your room unless you have a rope ladder and ninja smoke. On one of my most epic spring break adventures, we met 3 really hot girls and had to smuggle them past gate security by hiding them under blankets in the back seat!! If we had been staying at the hotel where everyone was staying, we would not have had to take such extreme measures. I can’t tell you how many beautiful women I lost on spring break because they couldn’t get into our hotel or we couldn’t get into theirs. 2. Mini Social Circles Staying in a hotel where all the women are puts you at a great advantage when it comes to maximizing your chances with the hottest women. If you are not staying in the same hotel as a woman, then you will likely have exactly one shot to meet and attract her. If you make any mistakes or if the
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) timing was just off, then you will not get another chance to attract her. This means that you must have great game or get lucky. On the other hand, if you are staying in a hotel with tons of women, then you will see the same women multiple times each day over the course of the week. This allows you to slowly cultivate relationships with tons of women and strike when the timing is perfect. You can meet an extremely beautiful woman and grind her down slowly over the week. A woman you meet on Monday may be cold as ice when you first meet, but by Friday she may be all over you. If you aren’t staying where you will see her over and over, then you will only get one shot to get her. Girls are extremely flaky on spring break so you don’t want to have to rely on phone game. You want to see her again and again. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take numbers, just be aware that most women on spring break are going to have so much stimulation from the beach, to drinking, to guys hitting on them, that trying to run standard text and phone game will be like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip. By simply staying in the right hotel, you will be able to crack into multiple groups of women and you will get far more work done with less effort. You will swim with them at the hotel, hang out on the beach, play volleyball, pre party before going out, ride to the club together, party at the club together, and ride home with them from the club. You can share a van to the club and ride back (this is how the hotel pulls for you). Knowing that you are going to see the women over and over allows you to run a much slower and more natural style of game. You should run a much slower and more limited attraction game during the down time at the hotel. You should focus more on working your qualification and comfort game, and then turning up your attraction game at night when everyone goes out. Doing this gives you a HUGE advantage over the competition. The women will already know you, so, you don’t have to be the stranger trying to open. You will have a group of girls at the club that you already know. You already know each other so the woman is much less likely to flake later that night when you try to pull, because you have qualified her and built some comfort during the day. Most guys will have a hard time pulling girls on spring break because the clubs are so loud that it is very hard to qualify and build comfort. They can get attraction and get the woman extremely attracted through dancing, touch, and short banter, but
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) when they go to pull the woman she locks up because he is still a stranger. When it comes to 9 and 10 game , you will have much more success when those women are staying in your hotel. As we all know, your margin for error with 9’s and 10’s is already lower in general, but even more so on spring break. While same night lays can and will happen with 9’s and 10’s on spring break, it is by no means consistent. It’s easy to get same night lays with skanky drunk girls or even 7’s, but to get the really hot girls on spring break you will have better luck grinding them down over the course of a week instead of trying to poach them off at a night club in one hit. Gaming in the clubs… Ok, let’s forget the mini social circles for now and let’s talk about how to game within the club assuming you don’t have the luxury of creating a mini social circle. Opening: You can go indirect if you are lucky enough to find a quiet portion of the club, but you will need to quickly get into a topic that is fun. Spring break is all about cutting lose and being crazy. If you try to have a deep low energy conversation, you will likely lose the set. Your best bet is to go direct or situational. Don’t feel bad if you burn through as many sets as you must. The clubs are so big, loud, and high energy, that you will inevitably lose some sets. Use this to your advantage. In a low key bar or club back home, burning through sets at a high rate could ruin your social proof. The entire room would see you getting blown out multiple times and they would lose attraction for you. On spring break, the size of the clubs, coupled with the high energy, and the sheer volume of people creates a situation where you can work the entire room and rarely see the same girl twice. This is good and bad. It’s good, because if you open enough sets you will find one that hits. It’s bad, because social proof will not be a powerful tool in your arsenal, because the mob is so big, people don’t have much time to observe any one person for long. Working the room is a must, but doing it trying to slowly build social proof is a joke. Just go direct or situational and open until you find one that hits. The clubs are so big, blowouts don’t matter.
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) Direct Opener Examples: Braddock : “You are cute/hot, what’s your name?” Braddock : “How do you expect me not to hit on you when you look like this?” Braddock : “You are really cute, I’m Braddock.” Braddock : “I don’t think I’ve met you yet, I’m Braddock.” Braddock : “I’m not sure what to say to you, but I had to meet you…I’m Braddock.” Situational Opener Examples: Braddock : “I’m sorry, there’s actually no dancing in here.” Braddock : “I’m sorry, there’s actually no drinking in here.” Braddock : (To a tall girl) “Hi, I’m not really into short girls, but you are really sexy.” Braddock : (To a short girl) “Hi, I’m not really into tall girls, but you are sexy as hell.” Braddock : “Excuse me, do you know what time the bible study starts tonight?” Attraction Game within the clubs…. With every set you open, you need to find out the logistics of your target. If you are looking to hook up on spring break then it’s important to realize that it is a waste of time to talk to even the hottest woman on the planet if she is staying 20 miles down the beach and she drove the rental car so all her friends could drink. Are there 10 girls staying in one room? Is she staying in Fort Knox of a hotel? Are her friends extremely bitchy and judgmental? Find out logistics early in set and viscously cut sets with bad logistics. If a set has several bad logistical components......NEXT SET!!!!!! Remember that spring break is slightly different than normal club situations. Everyone there is in party mode and they did not go to spring break looking to find their next boyfriend. Don’t make the mistake of being the serious, deep, philosophical, guy. That style of game will not get you far on spring break. Avoid attempting to run deep comfort until you get her back to the hotel or at least until you can get her somewhere quiet like a walk on the beach. In most venues it will be much too loud and crazy to hold a woman’s attention if you try to slow things down and get deep. Your main emphasis should be on keeping things playful and physical. This is done through teasing, role plays, dancing, and leading. Anything that takes a lot of attention or effort on the woman’s
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) part, especially early in set, will likely result in you losing her attention. Once you have the girl’s attention, and you have attraction, you need to move her as much as possible. At the end of the night you are asking the woman to go home with a complete stranger to a hotel room she has never been to, in the middle of the night. That is asking a lot in and of itself. However, if you have been moving her around the club all night long, then she is slowly getting used to the idea of following your lead. If she is comfortable following your lead all night, then she will be much more comfortable and relaxed when you bring up the idea of going back to your hotel. Use the Dance Floor… The dance floor is the quickest way to escalate things physically (even if you can’t dance. Just move her to the center of the mob and grind away). These places are usually so fucking loud that dancing is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal. Of course you don’t ‘have’ to dance and you can have success without it, but it will make your life much easier. These clubs are so loud that it can be extremely hard to hold a woman’s attention for very long using a long routine stack. This limits your attraction game, so you will need to get more done with less. Dancing can eat up a ton of time while moving the set forward physically, and it does most, if not all, of your attraction game without having to say all that much. For one, it does all of your kino escalation for you. Dancing can go all the way to make out or even farther without so much as one word being spoken. Gaming at Your Hotel: Mingle, don’t game. Don’t run around your hotel burning down every set. If there is an open beach at your hotel with tons of people and most of them are not staying at your hotel, then by all means game away. But at your hotel, try to mingle and get on girls’ radar, so you can game them later at night when the vibe is right. If they remember you that night, your work is cut in half. You won’t have to have a fancy opener. There will be built in familiarity and comfort. When you see her at a club later that night, she will feel much more comfortable running around with you all night than some new stranger who is trying to game her through cold approach.
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) Think of your hotel as a mini social circle. You only have a week, so we are going to push faster than normal, but still slower than cold approach. Quickly find a small group of girls to befriend, just like in normal life, having a group of girls simply standing with your group will make it easier to open other girls. They don’t have to be super hot, although this would obviously be preferred. Just look for girls that will hang around with you. Don’t worry if they talk to other guys. As a matter of fact, don’t be afraid to encourage it. If something happens with these girls romantically over the course of the week, so be it. However, that is not your prime directive of meeting them and having them around. Pre-existing girls always put new girls at ease. Yes, there is the potential of hitting the ‘pre-selection’ attraction switch, but I’m not even worried about that. I want you to use these women to help other women open easier. There will be so many drunk assholes hitting on women that they can become kind of guarded. If you already have women, they will see you as much safer. They will be much easier to open and merge into your group. Good day game/SCM hybrid game makes your nights easier. Don’t waste your day ‘just’ being drunk and passing out. Utilize the daytime to make your nights easier. The daytime is the time to get on tons of girls‘ radar so you can open them with ease later in the night. I highly suggest that you get involved in as many day activities that allow you to be social, naturally. Play volleyball and use it as your opener, “Hey, we need two more girls for our team, you guys down to play?” During the day you don’t need to take sets from meet to sex. I highly suggest that you use fun or functional openers, get to know them for a few minutes and then move on (unless it is going extremely well, then of course escalate just like normal game). Really use this time during the day, so you will know a bunch of people at night. Open a woman, introduce her and her friends to your friends.....wash rinse repeat, all day. If you hit it off well with a girl or group of girls from your hotel, ask them what club they are going to that night. Whatever club they say, you say, “cool, I think that is where we are going. You guys want to catch a cab over together?” If they say yes, then invite them over to pre-party in your room at 8 or 9.
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) This means you should have music and a few drinks in your room so they will want to stay and will want to pre-party there next time. Examples of Things to make your room fun: • Keg • Music • Beer pong • Flip cup • Beer bong When they come over, and while you are heading to the club, don’t push hard to game them or couple up. Let this happen organically. Over the course of the night, some, or their group, is going to break off and meet other guys. Some of her girls won’t like your buddies in that way. WHO CARES??!! Don’t make them or any of their friends uncomfortable by acting jealous. THIS IS SPRING BREAK!!!! She is not your girlfriend. Utilize the fact that these girls are going with you and use it to your advantage. Hooking up with girls in your hotel… Make sure that if the girl is staying in your hotel you don’t sleep with her if she seems like the clingy type you aren’t sure you will want to be seen with all week. If she is way into you and you hook up, she will try to hang out with you all week, essentially cock blocking you from meeting other girls. She will act offended if you ignore her, dismiss her, or, if she sees you talking to other girls. This means, you will need to set certain frames the night you hook up with her and the morning after. Set the Right Frames… Pre Frames (Things said well before you get her in the bedroom) Spring break is not a place where you are likely to meet your next girlfriend or future wife. Spring break is all about hooking up ‘now or never’. If you are the kind of guy that is used to running Day 2 style of game and deep comfort game you may find yourself frustrated on spring break. The women are flaky and spring break is not logistically set up for dates. Do to the fact that you are hooking up with women you’ve known for only a short period of time, it is quite common to get LMR (last minute resistance ) if you do not set the proper frames.
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) What Frames Should You Set? You want to set frames that imply sexual intent. You don’t need to be overly sexual or pushy, but it is a good idea to introduce at least some sexual dialogue. The key is the timing. If you introduce it before you have solid attraction, it will destroy the set. You also want to wait to set these frames when you have the girl in isolation (away from her friends). I usually do it in mini isolation (meaning that I do it just out of earshot of her friends). Examples of Pre Frames: • “This is so weird that we met like this. It sucks we only have a week together.” • “You know what I like about you? You seem like you’re really open minded. I like that. Most people are so judgmental and uptight.” Pre Frame by Challenging Her Sexually: • “You are really sexy and really cool, but I bet you are horrible in bed.” • “You are really sexy, but I can tell you are a bad kisser.” • “Oh, you’re from the Midwest? So, you are definitely a total prude.” • “We can’t hang out, this ends in a makeout.” • “I love those shoes…if we end up having sex, you are leaving those on.” • “You’re really hot, but I can already tell you are too much of a nice girl for me.” • “You’re from the south? Ok, so, you still have those weird 1950’s views on boys and sex, right?” • “We could never date. It would last exactly 2 months and be nothing but fights and makeup sex.” • “It’s a good thing you don’t live in Los Angeles….we would have sex like 5 times a day.” Post Frames: On the other hand if your same night lay game is tight, then you will run into another problem that needs remedy. You will find that you can create a situation where you have a stage five clinger following you around all week wondering why you are talking to other girls and not spending your entire spring break with her. When you see her the next day, don’t act weird. Just act exactly like you did the day before. Don’t make out with her and run around the beach holding hands. Just be flirty and playful. If
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) you are just being social in general then she won’t notice that you are actively gaming other girls. If you try to sniper a girl right in front of her it might cause problems, but if you are just talking to everyone, she will assume you are just a social guy. The truth is that you should just avoid the women that you think will be stage five clingers. Most women on spring break don’t give a shit!!!! They are there for the same reason you are. As a matter of fact, most women are just as likely to get weirded out by a guy acting clingy. DO NOT treat a woman that you hooked up with on spring break like she is your new girlfriend. You may or may not hook up with her again on the trip anyway, but the fastest way to guarantee that you don’t is to turn into a clingy boyfriend. What frames can you set post sex to help reduce stage 5 clinger? To avoid any hard feelings or creating a stage five clinger, focus on the fact that “This was hot” and don’t place an emphasis on the connection you made, the feelings you feel for each other, or how glad you are that you met. Focus on “how fucking attracted you are to her” and “how much she turns you on.” Keep things light/silly/playful after sex. Don’t let things get too serious or awkward. When you wake up, there will often be other people in the room (your friends or hers). I will often say something like this to lighten the mood of the awkwardness of being naked in a stranger’s hotel room the next morning. Example in Action: Braddock : “Mr. M, thank God I’m a moral rock. This girl tried to seduce me last night. I told her that I’m from Oklahoma and that we don’t even kiss girls until the second date, but she insisted that I take my clothes off.” Girl: “LoL…Whatever!!” Braddock: “Mr. M , you know how shy I am in bars and clubs. I was in the corner minding my own business and this girl comes up to me and basically forces me to drink alcoholic beverages, was uncomfortably touchy feely, and was talking all smooth.”
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9.3 Spring Break Game: The Definitive Guide (Guaranteed to Get You Laid) Girl: “hahaha…..Whatever, Mr. M, he came and talked to me!!!” Braddock: “Mr. M, don’t let her paint me with an unfair brush. You know I’m saving my virginity until marriage. As a matter of fact, don’t you think it’s only fair that she buys us breakfast as payment for tricking a sweet, innocent Oklahoma boy?????” Mr. M (Said in silly Australian accent): “Yeah, I think that is more than fair. I mean I’m going to have to hold him and explain to him that you aren’t going to marry him.” It’s all about keeping things silly and light. You must steer the ship. If you keep things light and fun, she will stay light and fun. If you take things deep, she will go deep. AVOID DEEP!!! Good luck on your spring break adventure, - Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
10.1 When to Pull the Trigger in Your Social Circle
- Knowing When to Pull
- A Strange Paradox
- The Recipe for Compliance
10.2 Golden Rule of Building a New Social Circle
- Respect First, Popularity Second
- Rules to Live by
10.3 Social Circle Mastery Interview Audio
- Social Circle Mastery Audio Parts 1-7
10.4 Social Circle Vs. Cold Approach...Let’s Just Hug it Out - How College Game & DHV Stories Relate to SC Game
- Hunting Vs. Farming
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10.1 When to pull the trigger in your Social circle... http://www.braddocksblog.com/2008/11/25/when-to-pull-the-trigger
Question: “In my social circle how do I know when to start pouring on the attraction material or when to wait?” answer: social Circle attraction doesn’t begin until compliance begins. 137
10.1 When to Pull the Trigger in Your Social Circle... Compliance Increases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game increases Compliance Decreases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game decreases Compliance Defined: “A disposition or tendency to yield to the will of others.” When I used to help The Don on his bootcamps, he would say, “Getting laid is probably 70% about getting compliance.” I couldn’t agree more. In this article I will show you why that % is even higher in social circle game. A Strange Paradox…. One thing you will notice in social circle settings is that pouring on the attraction material too early can have major repercussions. If it hits...great...but if it doesn’t, you can create an awkward situation that isn’t going away anytime soon. Most guys either try to pull the trigger way too early or way too late. Guys who pull the trigger with women way too late have a hard time getting attraction and asserting themselves in their group. Consequently, they often find themselves in the friend zone. On the other end of the spectrum are the guys who try to pull the trigger far too early. These guys treat their social circle like it’s a night club and basically cold approach and game every girl in their circle. They make the situation very uncomfortable and come across as gamey or sleazy. They have a problem getting attraction because the women of the group see them as try hard and low value. The third type of guy is the one who used to pull the trigger way too late (I.E. friend zone), found pickup literature, and are now the guys who are attempting to pull the trigger WAY too early (I.E. overly pushy gamey guy). I can remember spending a great deal of time in all three of these categories before figuring out how to find a balance that was effective. I noticed that in cold approach “fortune favors the bold” but in social circle game this mentality often did more harm than good. I quickly noticed that social circle game was much more about timing and patience. On the other hand, I also noticed that the
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10.1 When to Pull the Trigger in Your Social Circle... guys in my social circle who were getting laid consistently by the hottest girls were some of the boldest guys I’d ever met. They would say and do things around women that if anyone else in the group would have tried, the women would have been deeply offended and turned off, but when these guys did it, the women liked them even more. So, be bold….but don’t be bold…but do!?!?!?!??......anyone else confused? What a strange paradox. The Recipe for Compliance: Let’s think about how social circles or social encounters for that matter, work. People become more relaxed and more compliant as a result of any one and usually a combination of these 3 things: 1. High Value: Communicating with someone you consider being a high value member of the group. You want their acceptance and you want them to align with you, so you are much more likely to bend on something with them that you wouldn’t necessarily bend on with someone you considered lower value. You might even create rationalizations that paint just average behavior or even poor behavior in a positive light (I.E. peer pressure, laughing at an average joke way harder than it deserved, jumping to defend or have their back without concern for the validity of their argument, being more accommodating or forgiving of insurrections from them than you would from most people. (Don’t say you don’t do this….everyone does this to some degree or another. You are hardwired biologically to do so). 2. Time: The more time we spend with people, the less guarded we are and the more we relax around them. When we first meet, we are out of sync with people and we are not sure what their intentions are, if we should trust/like them, if they like us etc… Time remedies this because as time passes, we get a more static look at how people will behave on a consistent level. Hanging out with someone 1 time is not a very strong measure of how people are going to treat you consistently, but hanging out 20 times will give you a pretty good idea. Over time, unspoken roles will be defined for each member of the group and as these roles are accepted, stability and comfort are born within the group. Over time, you will naturally start to see what people’s boundaries are, their weakness, strengths, and what makes them feel good or bad. We use this knowledge as a blueprint to determine the nature of each individual relationship in our life…. “Ok, I can make those kinds of jokes
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10.1 When to Pull the Trigger in Your Social Circle... around Billy, but they upset Sam.” Or… “Sara laughs hard when I playfully tease her, but Jenny gets really upset.” If someone treats us well consistently and makes us feel good when we are around them, over time we will become far more compliant to them than to a stranger or to someone within the group we do not feel good around. 3. Shared Experiences: Have you ever noticed that we have a tendency to let our family members get away with saying and doing things to us that we would never allow a stranger to do or say? You likely have an archive the size of the Library of Congress full of memories and feelings associated with each family member. When you look at a picture of a family member, you may flash multiple good and bad memories and experience a wide range of feelings in a split second. The more experiences (good, bad, or neutral) you have with someone, the more connected you feel to that person. This likely explains why soldiers or athletes that endure hardship together report feeling like brothers or family. When we have someone we feel extremely close to and consider part of our group, we are going to bend a lot more and let things slide that aren’t that big of a deal, but might have been if a stranger tried them. We let them slide because we have tons of shared experiences and time spent together that proves that ‘most’ of the time, this person treats me like X, and as a result, I’m not worried about him saying or doing any one thing. His or her behavior is most consistently like X, so my mind is not alarmed when he does something out of the ordinary now and then. “How do all of these help me know when to pull the trigger?” To illustrate the above, think back to the time when you had met one of your closest guy friends. When you first met you were likely fairly formal and both of you were holding your cards pretty close to your chest. You didn’t know him that well and you didn’t know his boundaries. As time passes, and as you hang out more and more, you begin to figure out each other’s boundaries and you both begin to open up. If you enjoy your time with each other and your time spent with him makes you feel good emotions, then you will see him as high value to you. As this happens, each of you becomes more and more compliant to one another. He can tease you, you can tease him. He can ask you to do something within reason and you can ask him to do something within reason.
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10.1 When to Pull the Trigger in Your Social Circle... What about a guy friend you met 2 days ago? You are basically back to square one with the new guy. You aren’t going to tease him as rough and you wouldn’t ask him for a favor and you would not be too excited about him asking for a sizable favor from you. Now, go back and re-read the above and replace guy with girl. As you spend time with a woman in your social circle and you share experiences, each of you open up more and each of you are more likely to loosen up your boundaries toward each other. HERE LIES YOUR WINDOW TO ESCALATE!!!!! Time + Shared Experience + Value = Compliance As time, shared experiences, and value increases.....so does compliance. Have you ever been the new guy at a house party and you were flirting with a woman and it was going pretty well and then a guy from her inner social circle yells from across the room for her to come over and join them.... and she does, regardless of how good things were going with you and her? How did he pull her away from you? Is it because he’s “so alpha”.....no. Is it because he’s got some quantum game.....no. Could that same guy go to any club in America and yell at a random hot stranger and she would break her conversation and walk to him?......no. He can pull off this magical feat, ONLY IN HIS social circle because he has more time, shared experiences, and value with that woman than you do and as a result.....he has more compliance from her than you do. He can get her to do more with less effort. Ever notice you can joke rougher and get away with snide and edgy comments with women in your social circle? Could you have said those things to those women when you first met? Of course not, but now they laugh. Chalk this up to time + shared experience + value = increase in compliance. So when do you really turn up the attraction game???? Well, it should be obvious by now, but the answer is...as compliance increases, your attraction game can increase. Before then, you are essentially running cold approach game, hoping it hits.
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10.1 When to Pull the Trigger in Your Social Circle... This does not mean stay in friend mode until compliance is high and this does not mean you should not run attraction game until compliance is high. It just means increase the frequency and intensity of your attraction game as compliance increases. What if compliance decreases for some reason? Let’s say she starts dating someone or for whatever reason you can sense that you have lost some compliance since last time you hung out.....Well, then the frequency and intensity of your attraction game should decrease. This could go back and forth tons of times before it finally hits. So remember… Compliance Increases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game increases Compliance Decreases = Frequency and Intensity of my attraction game decreases Mr. M and I cover this in great detail in our Social Circle Mastery seminar . We’ll be right back after this commercial break from our sponsors... -Braddock
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Golden rule of Building a new Social circle..... http://www.braddocksblog.com/2008/08/29/golden-rule-of-building-a-new-social-circle
In our social Circle Mastery seminar, Mr. M and I, call this the “Golden rule” for starting a new tree. Go for respect first and popularity second. It’s easy to gain popularity. It’s brutal to earn back the respect that you gave away up front. this applies with guys and girls. sometimes you may try to appease an asshole of the group or try to ‘go along to get along’ by doing what you think is popular, but the truth is you are only digging a deeper hole. this goes back to the old David D quote of, “trying to trade status for acceptance and approval.” (We’ve all messed this one up). I know lots of guys who are popular, but are nowhere near acquiring a power broker seat within their social circle. Guys in the power broker seats date the hottest, and the most, women in any given social circle. this does not mean become the lame try hard guy who tries to play leader either. that will get you the opposite of respect just as fast. You can easily gain respect without trying to be the leader. Just be real and act out of your own intentions regardless of what the group says or does without being too rigid either way. fuck, this could and may, turn into a 10 page post someday, but for now, simply remember the golden rule of building a new social circle... Respect first, popularity second. When you get good, you go for both at the same time. few of the things I think of when I think of respect. I’m sure there are many more.... 1. strong Boundaries 2. Don’t give people any more respect than they earn. 3. Honesty at all cost. 4. Authentic at all cost. (fuck what everyone thinks) 5. shine by actions, not by words. 6. Abundance mentality (With everything) 7. people must earn your praise. Your praise is as rare as Gold. You don’t hand it out unless people truly deserve it. 8. You are never jealous. (see number 6)
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Golden Rule of Building a New Social Circle..... 9. Only laugh if something is truly funny. (No courtesy laughs) Yet, you would never withhold laughter. 10. You like, but don’t need other’s validation. 11. Apologize rarely, but it means a lot when you do. 12. Keep your secrets. Why would you share them with people who don’t matter? 13. “Don’t spend major time with minor people.” -Deleanor Roosevelt (I.E. Negative, people who make excuses...etc) 14. It’s hard to get “in” with you. You are nice to everyone, but you don’t get close to just anyone. They have to earn it. “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.” -George Washington 15. Your time is precious. Don’t let people disrespect your time, yet expect you to respect theirs. 16. Don’t ask advice from the weak. Better yet, don’t ask advice from anyone who isn’t living the life you want to live. 17. Never lean or leak emotionally on other people. (May be the quickest way to lose respect. People who are not self reliant are disgusting!) This does not mean you can’t ask favors or advice. This means you are not emotionally fragile and need others approval to know you are ok. 18. Never change your beliefs, values, sense of humor, or bend the truth in the face of value. (Read this one 100 times. Most important. Every time I have broken this law, I’ve hated myself for it!!! Anytime someone breaks this law around me, I’ve hated them for it.) 19. Has no problem teasing or qualifying people of high value, because you don’t consider them higher value. You just consider them people. People with high and low value characteristics. 20. Favorite David D quote......Learn to say “No” a lot. Also, be ok hearing “No.” Have a good holiday weekend! If you are going to the lake, wear your arm floaties. -Braddock
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10.3 Social Circle Mastery Interview Audio http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/100155-social-circle-mastery-interview-audio.html YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 1 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 2 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 3 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 4 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 5 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 6 of 7 YouTube - PUA Braddock of Love Systems on Social Circle Mastery - Part 7 of 7
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10.4 Social circle vs. cold approach...Let’s Just hug it out http://www.braddocksblog.com/2008/07/31/socialcirclemasteryandcoldapproach
21 and under convention.... I just got back from speaking at the 21 and under convention. I spoke for about an hour on college game. I couldn’t remember how long I was expected to speak so I prepared about 5 hours of content. 5 hours of college game, hmm........ future product? I love speaking about college game because it’s definitely my bag. Several of the principles Mr. M and I developed for our social Circle Mastery seminar were born out of my college experience. I like speaking to the younger guys. They have a lot of energy and they are fired up to learn this stuff. It’s impossible not to feed off of that when you are speaking. I’m a little jealous. I wish I would have found this stuff when I was a freshman in college. Jesus! on second thought......maybe it’s better that I didn’t. I would probably be the baby daddy of like 30 kids. I spent most of my speech trying to hit the highlights of what I wish someone would have told me when I started college. I also spent a fair amount time trying to MurDer the sacred cows of classic pickup dogma. I think the worst thing that a young guy can do on a college campus is run around trying to emulate what he learned in The Game. (I love The Game it changed my life) but trying to develop a super hero pickup persona has it’s time and place, but a college campus is not one of them. As a matter of fact, that is the worst place to try and develop one. At Love Systems, we advise college guys and anyone gaming within the confines of a small social circle to learn the basic structure outlined in savoy’s book, Magic Bullets, but to ditch all the lame old guard community dogma including, but not limited to, peacocking, AlWAYs trying to control the frame, opening every set, having 300 DHV stories, and amoging guys for no reason. I teach guys that in college game and in Social Circle Mastery you are much better DHV’ing by first, getting your sub communications under control, and second, by letting other people observe you in multiple high value situations. the ultimate DHV is creating a ‘Buzz’ about you. In social Circle Mastery we define buzz as having people talk about you when you aren’t around. This trumps any weak DHV story you might develop.
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10.4 Social Circle Vs. Cold Approach...Let’s Just Hug it Out DHV stories: In the words of Chris Rock.... “You ain’t got to lie to kick it.” DHV stories were developed for cold approach because you have one shot at making it happen because you don’t have weeks or months to develop ‘Buzz.’ Therefore, you have to tell DHV stories in order to convey your personality in 30 minutes or less. This is why cold approach is such an art form and why it is so tough. But in social circle or college game, you run a high risk of looking insecure, like a braggart, or like you are lying if you constantly look for places where you can slide in a DHV stories. “But but but, Braddock, I have this friend and he tells the best stories and girls love him and and and he says cold approach, frame setting, and deep comfort are the be all end all of game! He’s the SELF proclaimed best ever!” Yuck. Don’t care. Ask him for pictures of these girls. I’m telling you from first hand experience if you want the hottest girls in your social circle, running fast paced cold approach game is the WORST option. It’s not even the second or third best option. If you have access to a stable of hot girls you are going to see on a semi regular basis, RUN SOCIAL CIRCLE GAME!!!!!!! Fuck your friend. “But..but...but...Braddock you teach cold approach. Why do you knock it so hard? You are hurting my feelings and making my friend upset.” Awww, tell your friend I’m sorry. I promise not to hit on any of his 5’s or 6’s. I actually love cold approach. I have spent the last few years of my life mastering it. I would never try to convince someone not to learn it. If you travel, live in a major city and don’t frequent the same venues, or are not in college it may be the only means of meeting women you have. If that is the case, then social circle game is not possible for you. I understand. I have mastered both because I think cold approach is a blast but I have realized that it doesn’t have to be a way of life. Hunting vs Farming: The Evolution of Society I like to think of cold approach as hunting and social circle game as farming.
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10.4 Social Circle Vs. Cold Approach...Let’s Just Hug it Out Hunting: It is a necessary skill all men should posses, but in a progressive society it slowly becomes more of a sport or a right of passage and less and less of a means for survival. When you are hunting you have to kill something every time you are hungry. Sometimes, it’s the biggest, best trophy animal of the herd, and sometimes it’s the disease ridden runt. You may have to take what you can get because you don’t know when you will eat next. Every time you go out and don’t kill something you become hungrier and hungrier. When you could be spending that time laying inroads for access to bigger better hunting ground, you aren’t even thinking on those terms because you are starving! Farming: When you farm you do a lot of work up front followed by intermittent maintenance. Then, when you are ready to harvest, you come back and pick the best crops and throw away the weaker crops. Omnivore: When you combine the two, this is true power. You have a harvest of crops growing, but you can go hunting for fun to see if you can find the trophy of the herd. Basically......... LEARN BOTH!!!!!!!!!
-Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
11.1 Creating Friends w/ Benefits
- An Example of How to Set-up a Friends w/ Benefits Scenario
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11.1 Creating Friends with Benefits (My Response In Red) http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/103563-creating-friends-benefits-my-responsered.html Originally Posted by Cowboy1: Okay, I am pretty low on sleep, so this may come out all fumbled. I have the pernicious question in my head: “I hope that she is not thinking we are in a committed relationship.” Could you give me a quick check on what you think and suggestion on how to proceed. I tried setting expectations later by bringing up, that some people scare me, how they date and are on track to get married and get babies and that wasn’t for me. Though, I am not sure that it helped make sure that we are not going to have a committed relationship. Last night, a friend came over to pick something up at my place. It was supposed to be quick. We ended up going for a walk. Afterward, she came back in for a moment that turned into lying on the floor together. As she finally put her shoes on to leave, she said that she likes me more than a friend. She said that she can’t have sex with a friend only. I usually don’t get into a big dialogue when girls say this. I usually just smile and/or escalate and ignore it. (Simply smile to acknowledge it, but don’t get into a logical conversation) I like to say less and keep the tension on them! Whether you want friends with benefits, a one night stand, or a girlfriend, leaving them hanging just a little after they put themselves out there is powerful. She has just openly started chasing you. By not letting her know what you think either way, you create a powerful unresolved tension inside her. If you feel she is a girl who would get super clingy then there are a few things you could do: 1. Avoid saying anything that builds too much comfort. 2. Validate her by saying, “I don’t sleep with people who are just friends either”, but sandwich this with some nice cognitive dissonance by saying, “I don’t sleep around or with someone unless they are more than friends, but I’m also not looking for a relationship right now.”
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11.1 Creating Friends with Benefits (My Response in Red) 3. After you say something heavy like that, keep escalating like a mother fucker. Don’t say that and wait for a response. Say it as if it’s a good thing and simply a statement of fact. Don’t stand there waiting as if you two are negotiating a million dollar contract 4. During and just after sex, be careful what you say. Don’t say shit like, “Baby”......”you’re so special”......”I’m so glad we met.”.....etc....Keep it about how attracted to her you are. Keep it physical and “MAYBE” about how cool she is. I avoid saying anything about how I feel to a girl I just want to sleep with, and I build the necessary comfort by making them laugh and have fun. They like me and wonder/wish I like them, but they don’t know for sure if I do. This way, they don’t get their feelings hurt or have misguided expectations since I don’t verbalize much. 5. Just before you have sex, ask her to hand you the alarm clock next to the bed. Set it for 8am (whatever time) and tell her that you have to get up and go to work in the morning/help a friend move/overthrow a small countries government.....just a logical reason for her to get the fuck out without you having to say, “Get the fuck out.” This allows her to leave with self esteem nice and high, but keeps her from lingering and doing relationship type stuff. I gave her the spiel of ‘letting things naturally develop. Every two people form their own kinds of relationship, rather than following societies model.’ She kind of nodded. However, I didn’t hear the rebellious, we make our own rules. Not bad. A little long winded for this situation, but not bad. I say shit like this sometimes. It all depends on the girl and the situation. Every girl has a slightly different blueprint of what she will feel ok with before having sex/becoming a friend with benefits. We ended up screwing until sunrise, took a nap, and then some more. She had some first experiences, like her first vibrator. We ended up washing each other in the shower and had breakfast in the afternoon. This, while very fun, is not something I would do the first time I had sex with a girl I just wanted to be my fuck buddy. It’s not a deal breaker, but you are doing stuff that I only do with girlfriends/girls I’ve slept with numerous times and know the score.
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11.1 Creating Friends with Benefits (My Response in Red) Oh, and she was pretty persistent about bareback. Yet, I wanted to be safe. Do you think that in her mind we are a couple now? No, but in her mind she may be thinking, “Yes...if I keep this up and keep getting him to accept these types of things, I can push him toward a relationship. Then, it will be harder and harder to say no, because he did all these things.” It’s much like qualification. You keep getting the girl to comply to smaller and smaller things and the next thing she knows she is sleeping with you. Girls play the same game. They get you to comply on small things and then the next thing you know you are at Bed Bath and Beyond picking out decorations for the bathroom you share with your new girlfriend. We were already holding hands before. Also, I hold hands with more girls. If so, what is the responsible, slightly smooth way to handle expectations? She is cute and all. Though, I am not looking for a committed relationship at this point. Just after sex ......say, You:”You know what I think is so fucking hot about you?” Her: “What?” You: “Most girls get all weird and clingy after you have sex and they try to push you into a relationship, but you’re not like that. I think that is so fucking sexy. I can’t stand girls who do that.” She will be frustrated inside, but will have a hard time combating that and will passively accept it (if said right). Oh, and her room mate is my ex-girlfriend. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are my hero!!! When we all three hang out, I am touching both pretty affectionately. Please fuck both of them and write an awesome 3some field report. Setting expectations for the relationship/situation is perhaps the thing that I am struggling with the most. Situation check and pointers please!
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covered in this chapter:
12.1 Too ‘Routine Dependent’ Sticking Point
- How to Get Over Using Routines
- The “Good” and “Bad” About Routines
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12.1 Too ‘Routine Dependent’ Sticking Point http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/103566-too-routine-dependent-sticking-point. html Originally Posted by Eagle1977 Hey guys...I feel like I’m at a sticking point where I’m too dependent on ‘routines’...I open/transition fine but immediatly after I kinda just feel like I’m going through a manual in my head of attraction routines and sometimes it’s working and sometimes (with hotter girls) it’s just falling flat... I’m signed up for Mr.M bootcamp in Washington, DC in Sept. (totally psyched!) and would love to get some suggestions to work on this before the bootcamp, as I don’t want to keep up bad habits for another 2 months...Thanks! Go out for a week and don’t use any routines (at least consciously). Go in with the mind set for the first week you are just going to try to be funny and make the girls laugh and get them being playful (that’s it). Down the road (in a week or two), you can start adding teeth to this to build attraction, but for now, you need to work on how to extend conversations without having to memorize anything. Another thing I did when I was trying to get good is something I read in a Juggler post. He said to go out for a few nights and don’t ask any questions. Only keep the conversation going by making statements. So instead of saying, “So where are you from?” You have to say, “You seem like an LA girl.” Or, you will have to introduce new topics yourself. Either way, it won’t allow you to use routines and it will keep you from asking boring questions. I think we all go through a phase where we run around trying to use 300 routines. What you learn is that routines are strong when they are used as the salt and pepper, but they are almost worthless and definitely come across weird when they are used as the steak of the conversation. Work for a few months at becoming a strong conversationalist who can keep conversations going, who can make a woman laugh, be playful, and the more advanced concepts will start to slowly 154
12.1 Too ‘Routine Dependent’ Sticking Point happen on their own. Routines are nice because they can get you a repeatable response while you are learning and help you see what good conversation feels like. They are also powerful in certain situations, because they can steer an already good conversation sexual or whatever you need. However, if you think you will ever memorize 399 routines, say them all in a row, and you will take a girl home, then you are crazy. You will go insane trying to memorize them all, your responses will be delayed as you try to remember which one to say, and every conversation is so different, it would be impossible to create a routine stack that works in every situation. I also teach trigger words on my bootcamps and we do several exercises to reduce the emphasis of routines for these same reasons. What you will notice as you get better at things like trigger words and the things I mentioned above, you will find yourself doing “routines” technically, in that you say many of the same things in every set, but it will be born out of what you have naturally developed as opposed to going to a bar with 20 routines you have to memorize and figure out where to plug them in. -Braddock
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covered in this chapter:
13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report
- A Set with Satan
- How the Set Turned Around
- Elements That Made the Set Explode
13.2 Soldier of Fortune!
- ‘Man Vs. Wild’
- Taming the Beast and Claiming the Prize
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13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61183-lr-poppin-my-colla-partna-nyc-lay-report. html NYC was a fucking blast. I flew out early on Thursday and once again they fucked up my flight. How unexpected. I was excited about NYC because I was going to get to hang with Sheriff. He’s a cool dude and really fun. Also, I had talked to my One on One several times on the phone and he seemed really cool and really excited to learn. He was a really interesting guy. Graduated from Harvard, lived and traveled the world, great energy and outlook on life. Those are my favorite guys to work with. They don’t expect you to fix them and they don’t hate life. Negative people fucking suck donkey dick to work with and in life in general. I used to be one. Now that I’m not, I can’t stand being around them. Also, I was excited to meet Mr. M. Dahunter called me after he met him in LA and told me how amazing this guy was. I can learn something from anyone I meet, but I have to admit, at this level, it’s not very often that someone blows me away with their game or with something they can teach me to add to my game. Dahunter gets laid like a fucking rockstar and has some of the best game I’ve ever seen. So, for him to be like, “Holy shit dude, you’ve got to see Mr. M in action, it’s sick”, I knew this guy must be the real deal. Dahunter said in L.A. that Mr. M closed a playboy playmate and that just talking to the guy helps make your game better. I said sweeeet! Sign me up! Since Mr. M and Sheriff were in town early, they decided to go out with my one on one and I just for fun. We had a blast. Sheriff is great at watching someone in set and telling them what they can change to take their game to the next level. The student did really well and we had a blast. We went to several venues and even though NYC was kinda slow because it was a Thursday, he still did well. It was really late so Mr. M and Sheriff went home and went to bed. Well kinda, Sheriff ended up getting a BJ from some girl he met in the elevator on his way to bed. Ha! The student and I went to a really cool club that his friend got us into. We opened a few sets and then I saw a 2 set at the bar I wanted to open. I opened the target and not the obstacle. Ooops! She turned and looked at me slowly from head to toe. One of those “I didn’t know they stacked shit that high” looks. She didn’t even answer my question and she turned back to her friend! Lolol This kind of behavior only excites our hero. Our hero knows the remedy for such bitchy behavior is social proof. Off to go get that. So, I open a few sets get locked in and have them touching me and grabbing me. Fine, some social proof. Back to reopen Satan! Braddock : “Excuse me Satan……”
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13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report Satan: Cutting me off before I could even finish my sentence: “Fuck off, take a hint.” Braddock: “I was just going to tell you that you dropped your ID on the floor. But, hey nice to meet you too.” Our hero bends over grabs her ID and hands it to her, smiles and walks away. It’s crucial during these shit tests that you remain unaffected by their shit responses. Don’t get mad and don’t try to act like it’s overly funny. Just handle that bullshit like you would if a five year old was talking to you. You wouldn’t get mad and yell and you wouldn’t try to look cool by laughing in her face. You would just smile and not care. More social proof!!!! Now it’s time to own the room. I open multiple sets and merge them and bounce around from girl to girl and get locked in where Satan can see me. I don’t look at her, but I can feel her eyes on me. That’s all the IOIs you’re going to get from a hot girl that has blown you out hard, twice. She has to stay congruent in front of her friends to the bitch she was earlier. So, your moment to strike for the third time is when she breaks off from her friends. (SIDE NOTE: Most of the time when a girl blows you out that hard just move on. I could tell this girl was attracted or I would have moved on as well.) She goes to the bathroom by herself and she cuts her eyes at me as she is walking. As I see her coming out of the bathroom I catch her before she gets back to her friends. Braddock : “Let’s start over, Hi, I’m Braddock.” Satan: “I’m Sara.” Braddock : “Look I don’t know what all the attitude was earlier, but you don’t need the bar front with me. I know you have lots of options and you can tell I have lots of options, so get over the whole this guy wants me thing. You didn’t look like the normal NYC bar fly so I wanted to meet you. But, you’re kinda fiery, can you play nice or is that how you always are?” (Social proof was key for all of this. If other girls like you then you must be cool. Her eyeing me and staying in proximity also let me know that there was a chance at salvaging it. Satan: “I’m sorry I was rude, I’ve just had a bad day and we’ve had some weird guys hit on us tonight.”
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13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report Braddock: “I forgive you, let’s hug it out.” Satan: (hugs and laughs) Braddock : “Wow you have normal teeth!?” Satan: “lol What?” Braddock : “After the way you acted earlier I assumed you had fangs.” Satan: “lol Shut up jerk!” Braddock: (handing her my phone) “Here I think this is for you, it’s Satan, he said he wants his job back.” Satan: “Now you are being mean.” Braddock: “You deserve it. You embarrassed me in front of my other wives earlier. Did you see me crying? You’re lucky I stopped them, they were going to kick your ass.” Satan: “Oh, you mean all those sluts around you? Yeah I could have taken them.” Braddock : “Would you have used your pitch fork or just shot fire out of your eyes?“ Satan: “LoL, quit calling me Satan.” Braddock : “Yeah you’re probably right, I knew all that shit was just a big front. You’re still evil, but not like I thought. You’re more like the margarine of evil. You’re the diet evil.” Satan: “You are funny.” Bla bla bla for another 20 min. Kino through the roof at this point. She is still kinda being a bitch at times, but I know it’s on.
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13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report I tell her I’m leaving because I’m starving (I use this to pull almost everytime, which is usually true, but I never actually get something to eat, which is good and bad lol.) Satan: “Wait, let me grab my friend and I’ll go with you.” She grabs her Asian friend and we get a cab. We drop her friend off and she gives the cab driver a “non food address”. It’s like 4 am at this point and the cab driver drops us off about a block from her house. As we are walking toward her apt building she starts with the LMR. I am a beast at destroying LMR for a couple of reasons, especially on bootcamp. I really have no fear of walking away, and because I’m literally leaving in 2 days, I don’t have time for any bullshit. There literally is, no tomorrow. The sexual tension was about to explode between us, because there were so many shit tests and so much drama leading up to this moment that it was ridiculous. However, this kind of state pumping leads to amazing sex if it happens, but it can also lead to LMR if you don’t properly build fear of loss into the set once you pass attraction. I usually thread this during comfort. That way she has invested so much time into the interaction with you that the fear of loss actually means something. If you do it too early then she just lets you go even if she was attracted. You don’t have to be in deep comfort, just enough comfort to where she feels invested in the encounter enough to where she doesn’t want you to leave. So we get to her door and…… Satan: “I’m sorry, you can’t come up, I know we will end up having sex.” Braddock: “Wow, of course I want to have sex with you eventually, but I actually just wanted to hang out and get to know you better. I wasn’t worried about what might or might not happen. But, you know what, fuck this shit, I’m not going to let you disrespect me and act like I’m just another guy who wants to fuck you. I could have fucked any girl in that bar tonight, why would I waste my time on the girl who was least likely to have sex with me unless I actually wanted to get to know her?” (Don’t give her time to answer.) “Fuck this I’m out.” (Start heading down the street trying to hail a taxi.)
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13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report Satan: Sprinting after me, “Wait, wait!” Braddock: Never breaking stride, never looking back at her, and even shrugging her off when she grabs my arm. “Nope, fuck this I’m going home. What a waste of my fucking time.” Satan: “No, wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Please wait. Don’t be like this.” Braddock: “Look, I know you like me, but I don’t like all the little bullshit games. I’m only here for 3 days. I don’t have time for all the junior high shit. I obviously like you too. We can either go up to your place and hang out, or I’m going back to my hotel. But if you are going to be all judgmental and bitchy about everything then I don’t want to get to know you. You’ve kinda killed the mood for me and I think it would be better if I just went home.” Satan: “No, no, don’t be like that. I do like you, please come up. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not judgmental at all. I promise! I just didn’t want you to forget I said all that.” She was all over me at this point again. And trying to drag me upstairs. I thought she was going to cry! I lightened the mood a little, but still kept the sexual tension. Braddock: “Hmm… Look if you want to go upstairs and watch a movie or something that’s cool, but it better be PG-13 and you better keep you damn hands off me. Satan: smiles, she liked that she had worked and won me over. “Shut up jerk, let’s go.” We get up to her apartment and she awkwardly fumbles through a few DVD’s and I just grab her and throw her against the wall and start making out with her and then pull her back to her bedroom. I can honestly say it was some of the best sex I have ever had. And one of the greatest turnarounds I’ve ever had. Once I got her to her room, the “non judgmental“ frame was set so hard and she had worked so hard to get me that there was no way in hell she was going to stop. Moral of the story: There are a few tactics I employed in this set that made it go from flammable to fucking explosive! However, these tactics are not for the faint of heart.
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13.1 Poppin My Colla Partna NYC Lay Report Running my style of one night stand game has its drawbacks. It’s totally different than the game I run back home on girls I plan on seeing again, and you can count on losing a lot more sets. Flammable: Cocky funny, unreactive to her bitchy blowouts, social proofed the room. Explosive: Aggressive takeaways during comfort making it look and feel like she lost me. Adding drama to the set, where emotions reach extreme highs. Threading frames that you expect her to live up to or she knows you will walk. (Thank you Sinn). This stuff is not always necessary, so don’t always use them. If the set is naturally leading to sex, then just let it happen. Hell, most go like that. I have a million stories where it reached a point where I knew sex was going to happen and I just shut the fuck up and waited until we were alone. This situation in NYC was a little different. This girl was hot as hell and a complete bitch. This situation needed some extreme push/pull and she had to feel the fear of loss or the bitch shield would never have come down. Your fearless Leader, - Braddock
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13.2 Soldier of Fortune! http://www.theattractionforums.com/braddock/61182-lr-braddock-soldier-fortune.html Thanks to an overwhelming amount of email requests from the platinum members who subscribe to Braddock’s blog that are too fucking lazy, or too nice to tell me that my posts are too long, I am reposting a lay report that was deeply imbedded in my Savoy, L.A. Bootcamp post. If you were too lazy to read the whole thing, and too lazy to read my blog.....Then, fuck you!!! If you were too nice to just come right out and say that my posts are too long, you are wise to bite your fucking tongue. The sooner you realize that all of Braddock’s writings will someday be chiseled at the feet of large statue’s erected in my honor, the sooner you will stop being a lazy fuck and read my posts! Anyway, here you go...... Dahunter: After winging Dahunter. I’m going to try to slow my game down. Our game is very similar in that both of us are very sexual and kino big time, but he runs a much slower set and he gets great reactions. He gets the same results I get with half the effort. We wing very well together too. One thing that I’ve found is that it is hard to wing with new guys even if you both have super tight game. You aren’t around each other enough to have tons of inside jokes built up and you aren’t good at reading the other guys game to see how he is trying to push it, which sucks, because if the instructors were around each other more it would be like fishing with fucking dynamite when we were in set together. Despite all this, I felt like Dahunter and I winged for each other extremely well. On the second night, he had this hot ass girl (who he eventually fucked), with fake tits and a perfect body crawling all over him. I jumped on the grenade, (her fat friend), as long as I could. Once Dahunter had his girl locked up, I walked her troll friend back down to the wharf and helped her crawl back under the bridge before the sun came up. She caught a few live fish with her mouth and talons and then she settled into her cave. (Trolls are allergic to sunlight. They are also rumored to be allergic to clothes that fit and low calorie snacks after midnight). This particular troll was an extremely hateful one. She started off nice enough, but her hatred would soon spew forth. Most troll friends I enjoy chatting with being as they are usually funnier and smarter than their hot friend. However, as the reality of the situation set in that Dahunter had every intention of banging her friend, and that I had nothing but friendly, anti-cock block conversation in my pants for her, she became more and more of an agitated troll. When I said, “You’re gonna make a really nice friend,” the troll became noticeably frustrated and confused. Once your noble hero Braddock saw that Dahunter’s fake titted girl was stuck to him like glue, I adjusted the aim on my scope and started aiming for a girl that didn’t have horns and a tail….. Leading to this glorious narrative.......
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13.2 Soldier of Fortune! The Tale of Braddock: Soldier of Fortune! I moved the troll mentioned in the above to a place by the bar near a hot Asian girl I had my eye on earlier in the night. I waited for a natural break in our conversation, and by natural, I mean, a short window between the troll’s wheezing and hissing, (your hero isn’t out to hurt feelings, even if the troll becomes hateful, however the people’s champ harbors no bad feelings about using the troll as a pawn to make conversation with a fairer maiden), then I included the hot Asian girl in on our conversation. Braddock : “Hey, help us out real quick. My boy is over there with her friend and I’m worried about him. You think he’s safe or should I go rescue him? I mean, she looks pretty tough.” HB Asian: “ha ha!” about to say something when she is cut off by...... Troll: (Loud troll hissing. Like a snake but much deeper, then... “Whatever, he’s the….(pause so she can wheeze an catch her breath to finish the sentence)…. one that came and talked to my friend.” Braddock : “Oh, that was rude of me. This is my friend, troll.” (Troll sticks out her scale covered talon and shakes hands with the HB Asian, but doesn’t want to. Although the troll has become spiteful, she is not dumb. She knows I am done entertaining her. I’ve already answered, “Her questions three.” Trolls are actually quite smart despite common misconception. Braddock feels this stereotype originated thanks to fairytales aimed at America’s youth containing anti-troll rhetoric). (Braddock cuts off this awkward display of troll anger and bad body languages the troll out of the conversation). Braddock : “Yeah so anyway, you are the cutest black girl I’ve met tonight. I’m not attracted to that many black girls but, there is something about you.” HB Asian: HAHAHA “I’m not black, you asshole. I’m Vietnamese.” Braddock : “Oh, you’re Asian?” (back turn)
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13.2 Soldier of Fortune! HB Asian: (arm grab, spins me around) “What was that all about?” Braddock : “Asians can’t drive for shit, so there is no way we could get married.” HB Asian: “HAHAHA You are a fucking smart ass! Why does everyone say that about Asians!? And did you say you can’t marry me? Where did that come from and why would that matter?” Braddock : “Well, I make all of my other wives drive me to and from wherever I need to go and I like to ride in the back because it makes me feel powerful. HB Asian: “HAHAHA!” Braddock : “But Asian’s can’t drive for shit, so I would have to ride in the front all the time to grab the wheel and make sure you didn’t miss turns and stuff and I think we both know guys that ride in the passenger seat with their wives are pussies. So, this just won’t ever work out.” HB Asian: “You are out of control. Who are you anyway? Braddock : “I’m the one asking the questions around here sucka! Look, just because you’re good at Karate doesn’t mean that you get to wear the pants in this relationship. You may know karate, but I have a rape whistle, got it?” HB Asian: “HAHAHA! OMG.” Braddock : “You know what, I do have 5 other wives and I don’t really need another one and you can’t drive for shit but, you do dress sexy, and you have a good smile. hmmmm....” HB Asian: “See. I bet I’m cuter than all your wives.” Braddock: “That’s a bold statement; I don’t know do a spin for me. Well, you do look good in this outfit, but you’re probably one of those girls whose ass looks hot in clothes, but it’s actually not firm at all and who cares anyway, Asian’s are always weird kissers, so who cares.” (Kino is pretty heavy at this point and she obviously works out or has only a mild case of bulimia,
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13.2 Soldier of Fortune! because her body was badass). HB Asian: “Bullshit! I have a personal trainer and I work out four days a week. I do ballades! Feel this.” (Places Braddock’s rugged, rough, man-hand on her ass). Braddock: “Hey, get your God damn ass off my hand. Next thing you know you’re going to try to put your hand under my bra. I know girls like you. I bet you’re such a little player, well guess what...” HB Asian: “HAHAHA.....OMG whatever, I know you want me! You are crazy! What?” Braddock: “I may let you flirt a lot and get kinda handsy like you are doing, but I’m not going to let you take my virginity. Just because I get all dressed up and have my makeup looking so good, and this shirt makes my tits look huge, doesn’t mean I come to the club looking for sex, ok? Me and my friends just come to dance and we like to look good.” HB Asian: “HAHAHAHA...You are out of control....Me and my girlfriends have said that soooo many times. Haha! That does kinda sound silly when I hear someone else say it.”(bla bla bla .... this kind of dialogue goes on for another 30 min or so. Tons of push/pull and tons of kino and kino takeaways for arbitrary reasons that make no sense logically, however effective). Braddock: “Damn, I’m starving. You’re fun to talk to. Most girls I’ve met in L.A. are stuck up and snobby. I like you because you’re just stuck up.” HB Asian: “You are such a jerk! I love it. I don’t know how you get away with talking to me like that; I would normally slap a guy for half the shit you said tonight.” Braddock: “Bla bla, whatever Jackie Chan, quit trying to charm me because you didn’t think that I heard the bartender yell last call.” HB Asian: “Ahh....See!” Braddock: “Ha, you are fun to talk to, but if I don’t get something to eat then I’m going to wilt. I think I’m out of here. I would invite you along if I thought I would feel safe with you in the back, but you can’t even keep your hands to yourself in a public place like this and I can’t find my rape
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13.2 Soldier of Fortune! whistle. Hmmm... Maybe the taxi driver will let you ride in the front.” HB Asian: “Ha! There you go with the girl riding in the front with you getting chauffeured in the back.” Braddock: “Now you’re getting it. Alright, I’m out Jackie Chan. It was nice meeting you.” HB Asian: “Wait, you’re just gonna leave like that?” Braddock: “What do you mean? I’m tired and I’m starving!” HB Asian: “I thought you wanted me to go?” Braddock: “God! You are such a high maintenance LA girl! (me mocking her in a pouty girls voice as I grab her hand and pull her toward the exit) “I know you already asked me once, but I want you to beg me to come. I’m from L.A. and you’re from the midwest, you should be kissing my ass.....I’m a big deal.” HB Asian: “Hahaha....Exactly! You are such a jerk.” (Enter the taxi. She tells him an address. I don’t question it or mention food again. We make out in the back off and on. I keep stopping mid makeout to ask the taxi driver random lame questions. She knows I’m doing it to fuck with her and I can tell it’s turning her on. She keeps pulling me in to makeout with her. We get to her apartment building and she leads me in to the elevator by the hand. We go in her apartment and go straight to her room. I pull her onto her bed and we start making out. We stop for a minute so she can change. When she comes back I pretend to be asleep. She lays next to me on her bed and kisses me on the cheek and lightly shakes me to wake me up). Braddock: “Wow, your bed is so comfortable. Are you sure you don’t mind sleeping on the couch? I would give you a pillow, but I really do feel most comfortable with both of them.” HB Asian: “HAHAHA!! Who are you? You are such a fucking smart ass! I want to punch you and makeout with you at the same time.”
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13.2 Soldier of Fortune! I just laughed and started making out with her. I had push pulled her so many times up to that point that there was zero LMR. I fucked her in her bed that night and once again in her shower the next morning. Afterwards, she gave me a ride back to my Hotel. I teased her all the way there about how she was doing nothing to shatter the bad Asian driver stereotype. I Walked in the hotel room and saw Dahunter passed out. We traded stories about the night before. His story had a much more interesting twist than mine did. And, many of the same characters were involved. Go read his blog to find out all the details, but here’s a snack...The troll that I thought I had secured under the bridge must have escaped, because she almost fucked him over. (My bad)....They went to drive off, slammed on the brakes, backed up, and grabbed him despite the troll’s hissings!!!! He then went back and showed the fake titted hottie his thug passion. His game is really tight... -B
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