Boots Musical

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13

KINKY BOOTS Book by Harvey Fierstein Music & Lyrics by Cyndi Lauper 3/29/13 - FINAL PRODUCTION SCRIPT MUSICAL NUMBERS: ACT ONE PRICE AND SON THEME - Factory Workers THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD - Mr Price, Young Charlie, Young Lola, Nicola, and the Factory Workers. PRICE AND SON FUNEREAL (REPRISE) - Factory Workers TAKE WHAT YOU’VE GOT - Harry & his Band, Charlie & Pub Gents THE LAND OF LOLA - Lola and the Angels THE LAND OF LOLA (REPRISE) - Lola and the Angels STEP ONE - Charlie THE SEX IS IN THE HEELS - Lola, Pat, and the Angels THE HISTORY OF WRONG GUYS - Lauren I’M NOT MY FATHER’S SON - Lola & Charlie EVERYBODY SAY YEAH! - Charlie, Lola and company ACT TWO PRICE AND SON REDUX (REPRISE) - Factory Workers WHAT A WOMAN WANTS - Lola and the Women IN THIS CORNER (BOXING MATCH) - Angels, Pat & Trish, Lola & Don and Factory Workers CHARLIE’S SAD SOLILOQUY/SOUL OF A MAN - Charlie EVERYBODY SAY YEAH (Reprise) - Factory Workers HOLD ME IN YOUR HEART - Lola RAISE YOU UP - Lola, Angels, Charlie and Company

1.


JUST BE - The Company

COMPANY CHARLIE PRICE - Late twenties. A bit confused, a bit unfocused, a hero hiding under a victim’s mantle. Rock belt. YOUNG CHARLIE - This is our lead as a seven year old boy. Lost, quiet, reflective. He works in the opening and closing sequences. LOLA/SIMON - Early thirties. A prize fighter’s physique draped in satin. A heterosexual cross-dresser with a killer voice and winning ways. YOUNG LOLA/SIMON - This is LOLA as a ten year old boy who already knows he’s destined to wear high heels. NICOLA - Twenties. Charlie’s long-term girlfriend. Driven, uncompromising. Pop voice. LAUREN - Twenties. Beautiful and strong working class girl. Belt and pop. DON - Lola’s nemesis. Burly hypermasculine bear of a factory worker. PAT - Officious office manager who will let loose her wild side when allowed. Lola’s love interest. TRISH - Factory worker with a husband and kids to worry over. GEORGE - Factory manager keeping up traditions. Reserved. MALE ENSEMBLE THE ANGELS - These are the drag performers who populate THE BLUE ANGEL NIGHTCLUB. This ain’t a job for no wall-flowers. MR PRICE - Charlie’s father in the opening and closing sequences. A PUB PATRON, FACTORY WORKER and more during the rest of the show. SIMON SR - Lola’s father. An unforgiving tower of anger. HE works in the opening, and two scenes in ACT TWO. Otherwise he will play the HOMELESS MAN, A FACTORY WORKER etc. HARRY - A contemporary of Charlie’s but his opposite. HARRY is successful, self aware and confident. During the rest of the show he will be a FACTORY WORKER, PHOTOGRAPHER etc. RICHARD BAILEY - Nicola’s boss. An overtly attractive and

2.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 successful man. One of the HOOLIGANS in Act One. Otherwise, FACTORY WORKER etc. HOOLIGANS, PUB PATRONS, CLUB PATRONS, REFEREE, PHOTOGRAPHERS etc. FEMALE ENSEMBLE FEMALE FACTORY WORKERS, MILAN STAGE MANAGER, PUB PATRONS.

3.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 PROLOGUE HOUSELIGHTS are still full when... DON enters, hurrying toward the factory door entrance. HIS mobile phone rings and he stops to answer... Houselights begin to dim. DON Oi. I can’t talk now. Got to get to work. Because it’s time to get to work. - No, I can’t text you. No calls. No texts. No photos of any kind. And none of that annoying vibratin’. Who’s the lonely wanker who come up with the idea that vibratin’ is silent? (Taking in the audience with a menacing look.) So I’m understood? (Back to his friend) All right then. Powering down now. Ring you at the break. Cheers! DON hits the button on his phone, shoves it into his pocket, and enters the factory as... The houselights go out... ACT ONE MUSIC: PRICE & SON THEME (Ensemble) The unseen WORKERS sing. Lights illuminate the PRICE & SON SHOES factory sign. WORKERS (O.S.) TRUST YOUR FEET IN PRICE AND SON OUR WORK IS TRIED AND TRUE PRACTICAL, PRAGMATICAL STEADFAST AND STURDY, STURDY TOO. IF YOU STROLL OR SAUNTER, AMBLE, WALK, JOG, HOP OR RUN THE PRUDENT SHOE FOR YOU TO CHOOSE IS PRICE AND SON. MR PRICE enters, a soccer ball follows soon after.

4.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 HE tosses the ball back to his son, YOUNG CHARLIE, who catches up with his dad. PRICE & SON FACTORY: MUSIC: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD (MR PRICE, YOUNG CHARLIE, YOUNG LOLA, NICOLA, CHARLIE & FACTORY WORKERS) MR PRICE addresses the BOY... MR PRICE (ME 1) YOU MIGHT THINK BEAUTY COMES IN SPRING AND SPARROW OR WHEN THE SUNRISE HITS THE MORNING DEW BUT IF YOU WALK THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW YOU’LL FIND THE ELEGANCE AND COMFORT IS A.... Do you know what the most beautiful thing in the world is, Charlie? A shoe. A shoe.

YOUNG CHARLIE MR PRICE (ME 1) The FACTORY is revealed. WORKERS go about their routines...

MR PRICE (ME1) (cont’d) THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE THAT I KNOW, MR PRICE (cont’d) Sing it. Charlie. MR PRICE & YOUNG CHARLIE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, MR PRICE (CONT’D) CHARLIE IT’S BEAUTIFUL. TRISH offers YOUNG CHARLIE a bisquit. THE BOY then runs to help another WORKER at a conveyor belt.

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 MR PRICE (ME 1) (cont’d) FOUR GENERATIONS HAVE PAVED THE WAY BEFORE YOU YOU’LL BE NEXT IN LINE WHEN MY TIME IS THROUGH AND THERE’S A SAYING HANDED DOWN I’VE FOUND OF VALUE SON YOU CAN TELL ABOUT A FELLA FROM HIS... Shoe!

WORKERS HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, OOH. HA, HA, HA, HA, OOH. AAH.

YOUNG CHARLIE

MR PRICE (ME1) & WORKERS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD CHARLIE, THAT I KNOW, I KNOW THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE, IT’S BEAUTIFUL IT’S BEAUTIFUL THE BOY addresses his FATHER with dismay... YOUNG CHARLIE But what if I don’t want to make shoes? MR PRICE (ME 1) You’re a right funny kid, you are. A LIGHTING SHIFT - A SUDDEN LOUD SOUND: A SHOE ALARM (a musical signature) announces the arrival of something new: A STREET BENCH IN CLACTON: YOUNG LOLA, is sitting on a bench, slipping a pair of RED HIGH HEELED SHOES onto his feet. HE stands up proudly. MUSIC accompanies his first tentative step. HE takes another, and then another and then he is skipping and whistling and dancing with abandon in his RED SHOES... MUSIC SWELLS...

6.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 WORKERS OOH. OOH. AHH. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE THAT I KNOW, I KNOW THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL. YOUNG LOLA FEELS LIKE I’M DANCING ACROSS A HIGH WIRE OR BRAVELY SOARING OFF INTO THE BLUE. JUST LIKE A ROCKET LIFTS WITH SPARKS AND FIRE FEELS LIKE THE MAGIC NEVER ENDING IN THESE... SIMON SR appears and hollers angrily at his son... SIMON SR (ME 4) Take those things off your feet and get inside here! Stupid boy! YOUNG CHARLIE watches as LOLA withers with embarrassment and, slipping the shoes off his feet, follows SIMON off. SHOE STORE IN LONDON: SHOE ALARM sounds again and a shop display appears featuring a pair of RED SHOES. NICOLA, views them with excitement. MUSIC CONTINUES TO VAMP.... NICOLA Charlie, here are the shoes I told you about. Come, have a look-see. YOUNG CHARLIE rushes down the stairs and midway is replaced by his older self. It is ADULT CHARLIE who arrives, halfheartedly, next to his fiance. NICOLA (cont’d) (breathless over the shoes) Aren’t they the most necessary things ever? If you want to slip a ring on my finger, you’ll first slip these shoes on my feet.

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE A tad posh for life in Northampton, wouldn’t you say? NICOLA Then good thing we’re moving to London. And won’t they make a fitting farewell to the stink of cattle farms and tanning leather? We may have been born in a small factory town, but we sure as hell don’t have to die there. CHARLIE You see the price? There’s three month’s rent. NICOLA Pinch ‘em or pay for ‘em, that’s up to you. But these shoes are in my future. NICOLA (cont’d) TO NEW BEGINNINGS HELLO TO SUNNY DAYS WE'RE UPWARD MOBILE NOW GOODBYE TO SMALL TOWN WAYS ‘TIL IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A TRACE OF WHAT WE LEFT BEHIND AND THE DEFINING ELEMENT IS IN THESE... Shoes!

NICOLA (cont’d) CHARLIE works his way back to MR PRICE.

NICOLA (cont’d) THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE THAT I KNOW, I KNOW THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

MR. PRICE & WORKERS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, I KNOW THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL. CHARLIE rejoins MR PRICE. They are in mid argument...

MR PRICE (ME1) Your life, your future is right here in this factory. You belong here. CHARLIE No, I belong with Nicola in London.

8.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 MR PRICE No, you belong here. CHARLIE hands his father a glass of champagne. CHARLIE Will you toast my journey? MR PRICE But, to leave your family and home for a job shopping in London... CHARLIE (Amused) Marketing. Richard Bailey has offered Nicola and me positions marketing real estate. MR PRICE You’re breaking my heart, Charlie. To you, Dad.

CHARLIE MR PRICE lifts a glass and turns out to address the WORKERS assembled below for a farewell toast...

MR PRICE (ME1) Shoes can protect a man’s journey, but only his heart can choose the path. And so a toast to our own Charlie. May you never fail to point your shoes back home. ALL (ADD ANGELS OFFSTAGE) To Charlie To Charlie

WORKERS (FE1, FE3, ME2, ME6) IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL

DON, GEORGE, ME1, A1, A2, A3 To Charlie.

ALL WORKERS, A4, A5, A6 BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL

The music explodes again as CHARLIE watches, dumbfounded and purposeless, in the center of the stage. The FACTORY WORKERS tend to their jobs. YOUNG LOLA holds her RED SHOES to her chest. NICOLA stares at the store shoes.

9.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 And MR PRICE proudly stands over his factory. MR PRICE (cont’d) THESE SHOES ARE SYMBOLS OF OUR FAMILY HISTORY. NICOLA THESE SHOES WILL CARRY ME TO WHERE I WANT TO BE. YOUNG LOLA FEELS LIKE I’M DANCING MR PRICE THESE SHOES ARE SYMBOLS OF OUR FAMILY HISTORY.

WORKERS & ANGELS BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL WORKERS & ANGELS BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL WORKERS & ANGELS BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL NICOLA THESE SHOES WILL CARRY ME TO WHERE I WANT TO BE.

YOUNG LOLA DON’T YOU GO ANYWHERE ‘CAUSE YOU BELONG TO ME. CHARLIE steps out freezing the action... CHARLIE You do realize they’re just shoes. The MUSIC explodes again drowning him out. ALL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD, CHARLIE, IT’S

BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL!

ALL MEN

ALL WOMEN BEAUTIFUL

ALL MEN

ALL WOMEN BEAUTIFUL!

ALL BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD CHARLIE, THAT I KNOW I KNOW THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD CHARLIE IT’S

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 ALL MEN BEAUTIFUL IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

ALL WOMEN IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL, IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

THE MUSIC ENDS... LONDON FLAT: ...and we find CHARLIE and NICOLA cuddling on an unmade bed surrounded with packing boxes. NICOLA Gawd! This flat is dirty and small and dreary and every thing about it needs replacing except... Me.

CHARLIE

NICOLA The address! (Each pronouncement is punctuated with a kiss.) We’re in London, Charlie! - London - London London! CHARLIE Where’d you say we were? London!

NICOLA (Big kiss.)

CHARLIE So, you’re happy, Nic? NICOLA I’m ecstatic. Aren’t you? CHARLIE I’m happy if you’re happy. NICOLA Is that really the best you can do?

I love you.

CHARLIE (Meekly) NICOLA studies him sadly.

11.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 NICOLA You can always go back and muck in with your dad. CHARLIE And make shoes? That’s not what I want. NICOLA What is it you want? Charlie’s mobile rings. HE answers... CHARLIE Hello... Yes. This is his son... When? How? PRICE & SON FACTORY: MUSIC: PRICE & SON THEME (FUNEREAL) The theme takes on a funereal tone as CHARLIE walks solemnly past a column of WORKERS. CHARLIE climbs the stairs to his father’s office. With factory manager, GEORGE, watching, CHARLIE studies a line of portraits of his forefathers on the wall which ends with his dad’s. FEMALE WORKER (FE3) TRUST YOUR FEET IN PRICE AND SON OUR WORK IS TRIED AND TRUE PRACTICAL, PRAGMATICAL STEADFAST AND STURDY TOO.

PAT & WORKERS (ME1, ME2, ME3, ME4, FE1, FE2) OOH

IF YOU STROLL OR SAUNTER, AMBLE, WALK, JOG, HOP OR RUN THE PRUDENT SHOE FOR YOU TO CHOOSE IS PRICE AND SON.

OOH

OOH

OOH OOH

GEORGE Your father would be proud to see you standing here, Mr Price. CHARLIE Cripes, George. You’ve known me all my life. Call me Charlie.

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 GEORGE Price & Son must have a Mr Price, Mr Price. GEORGE starts to place Mr Price’s work-coat on Charlie. CHARLIE I’m glad you brought that up. You see... My father always assumed that one day I’d take over the factory, but I never said I would... GEORGE (Interrupting.) Excuse me, sir. If you can just... They’re all waiting below. And then GEORGE indicates the WORKERS who are all looking up at the office. GEORGE (cont’d) A word or two, sir? They’d appreciate hearing from the new head of Price & Son. CHARLIE Oh, that’s not really necessary is it? GEORGE Just a word, sir. GEORGE nudges CHARLIE forward. HE stands facing the WORKERS not sure what to say. Right....

CHARLIE DON, a big tough worker, snickers along with his PALS and LAUREN.

DON Oi! Quiet down. The little prince got somethin’ to say. CHARLIE Hello. Hi. Cheers. Thanks for the flowers... and the notes... and whatnot. (HE’s run out of words.) GEORGE (Nudging him along.) Perhaps a word of encouragement about the future.

13.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE (finally gets a bright idea) Ah. Yes. Let’s keep making shoes. Great shoes. No one moves. CHARLIE (cont’d) And... good luck with that. LAUREN Wow, that wanker’s got a way with words. LAUREN and DON share a laugh. GEORGE waves the workers away. PAT, a rather non-descript office manager, calls to CHARLIE from below... PAT Mr Price, come quick. Chamber’s has sent back their entire shoe order. GEORGE gestures CHARLIE to take on the challenge. GEORGE After you, Mr Price. CHARLIE shoots down the stairs to find a DELIVERY MAN waiting with a trolley full of shoe boxes. DELIVERY MAN (ME4) Can someone sign so’s I can get the rest of these shoes off my truck? CHARLIE Is there something wrong with them? DELIVERY MAN (ME4) Ask someone who cares. Sign all three copies. CHARLIE starts to sign... CHARLIE All right Pat, I guess we should put these in the store room. PAT The Chambers’ winter shoe order is already in there.

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE What are these? PAT The Chambers spring shoe order. CHARLIE And we’re currently manufacturing...? PAT The Chambers summer shoe order. And it’s a big one. CHARLIE (To Pat) Are you telling me that we have a year’s worth of shoes and no one to buy them? PAT Started some time back. Chambers cut down orders. But cutting back production would have meant cutting back worker’s hours and your father wouldn’t hear of it. GEORGE I would have thought he’d told you. But then you were busy at university and with your girl. CHARLIE But what’s to be done with all these shoes? GEORGE Once or twice your father sold overstock to the discount chains. CHARLIE So it’s happened before. PAT Never as bad as this. GEORGE Actually, of late, he seemed less concerned. He said he had settled on some sort of a plan. CHARLIE A sort of plan? What sort of plan? George rushes away... MUSIC: INTO THE PUB

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LONDON PUB: A PUB appears: A bar and some GENTS enjoying their evening. A BAND of three finishes their song... SINGIN’ WHOA... WHOA... SINGIN’

ENSEMBLE MEN ALL ENSEMBLE

ALL ENSEMBLE (cont’d) WHOA... WHOA...

HARRY Ladies and gents, the band’s on a break. Back in five. The SONG ENDS. HARRY, the lead singer, joins CHARLIE.

HARRY Not bad for a discount shoe salesman. Eh? CHARLIE Really terrific, Harry. To you. CHARLIE hands HARRY a drink. HARRY To your father. Aye? He was a gent. CHARLIE (toasts) And to yours. HARRY Well mate, I assume you didn’t come all the way to London just to buy me a drink. CHARLIE (drinks) Seems we find ourselves with six hundred pairs of brogues and no buyer. HARRY Chambers finally cancelled your orders completely. I heard.

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE (Powering through) But then I remembered the time your father found his stock short and my dad, at no small expense, took on the task of filling the shortfall. HARRY No fair conjuring ancient history. CHARLIE I’ll give them to you at cost. Cost, Harry. For old time’s sake. HARRY slips off his shoe and hands it to CHARLIE. HARRY See these, Charlie? I import them from Slovakia and sell them for a fraction of your cost. CHARLIE But they’re shite. A Price shoe will last a man a lifetime. The poor sod who buys these will need new ones in a season. HARRY And I’ll be right there to sell him a pair at a very affordable price. CHARLIE (Tossing the shoe back pointedly.) Ever hear the saying; poor people stay poor because they buy cheap shoes? HARRY You ever hear the saying; No matter how far down the wrong road you’ve gone turn back? Selling off inventory is only going to prolong the inevitable. But tell me, Charlie, is manufacturing shoes really what you had your cap set on? CHARLIE Is selling cheap imports your aspiration? MUSIC: TAKE WHAT YOU GOT The BAND starts to play... HARRY If my life was nothing more than shoes, you’d find me swinging by my tie from a steam pipe. (Indicating his guitar.) My guitar, my mates, and music are my escape. (MORE)

17.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 HARRY (cont'd) It ain’t perfect, but it’s what I got. REMEMBER THE PUB WHERE OUR FATHERS WENT TO SPEND THE END OF THEIR DAY? CHARLIE REMEMBER THE YARD BEHIND THE PUB WHERE WE’D RUN AND PLAY? HARRY WELL, NOW THE PUB IS A LAUNDROMAT CHARLIE NOW THE YARD IS A HIGH RISE FLAT HARRY YOU CAN’T GO BACK YOU CAN’T MAKE IT LAST. YOU’VE GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU’VE GOT EVEN WHEN YOUR LIFE IS IN KNOTS. YOU TAKE AIM, TAKE YOUR SHOT SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO REWRITE THE PLOT YOU GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU GOT. CHARLIE YOU’D ALWAYS SAY THAT ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU’D GET OUT OF NORTHAMPTON TOWN HARRY YOU’D ALWAYS SAY THAT YOU WOULDN’T STAY NO, YOU WOULDN’T STICK AROUND. CHARLIE NEVER KNEW WHAT I WANTED BEFORE NOW I’M EVEN MORE UNSURE HARRY YOU CAN’T MOVE ON IF YOU’RE STILL IN THE PAST YOU’VE GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU’VE GOT EVEN WHEN YOUR LIFE IS IN KNOTS. YOU TAKE AIM, TAKE YOUR SHOT SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO REWRITE THE PLOT YOU GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU GOT. CHARLIE is isolated in his own thoughts... CHARLIE EVERYBODY’S TELLING ME WHAT I NEED TO BE. CHANGE WITH THE TIMES

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© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 MOVE TO LONDON TOWN OR LIVE OUT A LEGACY. WELL, MAYBE THIS TIME I TAKE A CHANCE LEAP INTO THE VAST EXPANSE. MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SEIZE MY DESTINY MY DESTINY... Reality returns. HARRY If you’re on the wrong road - turn back. CHARLIE So, you’ll help me out? HARRY offers a handshake. CHARLIE (cont’d) Thank you, Harry. The MUSIC explodes into a final chorus... TWO, THREE

HARRY

CHARLIE, HARRY & ENSEMBLE MEN YOU’VE GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU’VE GOT EVEN WHEN YOUR LIFE IS IN KNOTS. YOU TAKE AIM, TAKE YOUR SHOT SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO REWRITE THE PLOT

ENSEMBLE WOMEN YOU’VE GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU’VE GOT TAKE YOUR SHOT

CHARLIE YOU GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU’VE GOT HARRY YOU GOT TO TAKE WHAT YOU GOT CHARLIE steps out into the street. CONSTRUCTION SITE OUTSIDE THE PUB: A HOMELESS MAN approaches CHARLIE. HOMELESS MAN (ME4) Have you something to spare for a thirsty man? Here.

CHARLIE

(he hands over the shoes) A Price and Son shoe will last a man a lifetime.

19.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 HOMELESS MAN (ME4) Do I strike you as a man whose problem is shoes? CHARLIE’S attention is grabbed by... SOUND: BREAKING GLASS followed by voices, catcalls and whistles as a FEMALE runs on-stage pursued by THREE HOOLIGANS... It’s all very dark and shadowy. FEMALE VOICE All right, fellas. Let’s go easy now. HOOLIGAN 1 (ME6) However you like it, darlin’. We can start out easy and take it from there. HOOLIGAN 2 (ME5) I’m all for progress. CHARLIE steps between the HOOLIGANS and their target. CHARLIE Come now, gents. I think maybe you’ve had your fun. HOOLIGAN 1 (ME6) And what if I said mind your own business? CHARLIE Let the lady go on her way... HOOLIGAN 1 (ME6) You can take her place if you fancy... The FEMALE figure deftly slips off her high heeled boot and swings it over her head to build momentum... LOLA Step aside, Sir. I can handle the likes of these. CHARLIE turns and takes a step toward LOLA just as she releases her boot which smacks Charlie square on the chin. HE teeters and then goes down, unconscious, to the ground.

20.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 The HOOLIGANS take off laughing. MUSIC: THE LAND OF LOLA MUSIC begins to vamp as the ANGELS, aka DRAG PERFORMERS, appear from the wings to escort CHARLIE offstage while SINGING... ANGELS, PAT & FE2 (O.S.) LOLA, LOLA, LOLA, LOLA THE BLUE ANGEL CLUB stage appears. THE ANGEL CLUB STAGE: LOLA sheds her coat and begins to pace the apron of the stage, taking in the audience. LOLA He wasn’t the first man to fall for me. And I promise, he won’t be the last. (SHE sings) LEAVE EXPECTATIONS AT THE DOOR JUST LET YOUR EYES EXPLORE MY CINEMATIC FLAIR FROM MY BOOT TO DERRIERE I’VE GOT A LACY SILKEN FEEL WITH ARMS AS HARD AS STEEL I AM FREEDOM, I’M CONSTRICTION A POTPOURRI OF CONTRADICTION LEAVE THAT HUM-DRUM PACE OF GLUM BEHIND ONCE YOU WALK INSIDE THESE DOORS YOU’RE MINE NOW LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND. LOLA (cont’d) AND LIKE SHAZZAM AND BAM HERE I AM YES, MA’AM I’M LOLA LOLA (CONT’D) AND LIKE JE SUIS OOH-WEE THAT’S ME EBONY I’M LOLA

SHAZZAM

ANGELS

LOLA JE SUIS

LOLA

ANGELS

21.


STEP IN

ANGELS

LOLA STEP IN TO A DREAM

WHERE GLAM

GLAMOUR IS EXTREME

WELCOME

WELCOME TO OUR FANTASY

WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY LOLA SO COME AND TAKE MY HAND WELCOME TO THE LAND OF LOLA.

WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY ANGELS LOLA

LOLA (cont’d) (Focusing in on one audience member.) No need to be embarrassed. I like to be looked at. And you like to look. I know a way to make us both happy. LOLA, LOLA, LOLA

ANGELS

LOLA GOT GINGER ROGERS SAVOIR FAIRE WITH THE MOVES OF FRED ASTAIRE I’M BLACK JESUS, I’M BLACK MARY BUT THIS MARY’S LEGS ARE HAIRY LOLA I’M YOUR COCO BUTTER BITCH NOT JUST COOKIE CUTTER KITSCH I PROVIDE THE UNEXPECTED WITH A PRIZE THAT’S UNDETECTED.

OOH OOH OOH OOH

ANGELS

LOLA & THE ANGELS LET LOLA LIFT YOU TO YOUR HIGHEST HIGHS LET’S EXPLORE YOUR FLIGHT OF FANCY TONIGHT LOLA & THE ANGELS (cont’d) I’M/SHE’S GONNA TREAT YOU RIGHT. LOLA (cont’d) AND LIKE SHAZZAM AND BAM HERE I AM YES, MA’AM I’M LOLA

SHAZZAM

LOLA

ANGELS

22.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA (CONT’D) AND LIKE JE SUIS OOH-WEE THAT’S ME EBONY I’M LOLA ANGELS STEP IN

JE SUIS

LOLA


WHERE GLAM

GLAMOUR IS EXTREME

WELCOME


WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY STEP IN

ANGELS

WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY

ANGELS (cont’d)


WHERE GLAM

GLAMOUR IS EXTREME

WELCOME


WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY LOLA SO COME AND TAKE MY HAND WELCOME TO THE LAND OF LOLA. LOLA LOLA LOLA LOLA SO COME AND TAKE MY HAND WELCOME TO THE LAND OF LOLA.

WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY ANGELS HOO OOH LOLA LOLA LOLA LOLA HOO

ANGELS

LOLA The song ends. MUSIC: VAMP CONTINUES LOLA and the ANGELS bow. We follow LOLA backstage to...

LOLA’S DRESSING ROOM: ...her tiny cramped overstuffed dressing room. LOLA enters to find CHARLIE just coming back to life.

23.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA Ah... He lives. Hello. They call me Lola because... it’s my name. LOLA, undisturbed by the company, immediately begins to strip down and redress into a new costume. LOLA (cont’d) Very sweet; you riding to my rescue. Very Prince Charming. CHARLIE You don’t appear to be in much need of rescue. LOLA A girl’s got to know how to look after herself. There are some very funny people out there. How’s your chin? LOLA reaches to touch CHARLIE but he pushes her hand away. LOLA (cont’d) (laughing) Don’t flatter yourself. I will say one thing for you: You’re hard headed. Your jaw whacked my heel clean off. SHE tosses CHARLIE her boot with the snapped off heel. CHARLIE Oh, I could fix these for you, but they’re just cheap boots. LOLA Very expensive boots. But cheaply made. I’d give my left tit for a shoe that could stand up to me. LOLA starts to pull on another pair of boots. SHE struggles. LOLA (cont’d) But it’s my curse to love these things... CHARLIE reaches in his pocket, extracts a shoe-horn and helps LOLA into her boot. Allow me.

CHARLIE

24.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA Thank you again, mister... Not to be presumptive, but you are a mister? CHARLIE Charlie. From Northampton. LOLA Well, Charlie from Northampton, if you’ll excuse me, I need to start the second show. There’s a room full of people waiting to feel normal by comparison. But please, feel free to join in the fun. CHARLIE Very kind. Thank you. But I’d best be getting back. I’ve got a factory full of folks need firing tomorrow morning. LOLA And they call me kinky? Well, as Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” And just like that, LOLA takes her leave... ANGEL CLUB STAGE: A MUSICAL VAMP GROWS... MUSIC: LAND OF LOLA REPRISE WE follow her back on-stage where all of the ANGELS are lined up. LOLA, LOLA, LOLA

ANGELS, PAT & FE2 (O.S.)

LOLA LOLA Ladies, gentlemen, and those who have yet to make up their minds... I invite you to look around. You may see something you want. LOLA catches CHARLIE watching the show from the wings. HE absentmindedly still holds on to LOLA’s boot. SHE winks at him and HE runs away.

25.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA (cont’d) (CONT’D) Did you catch that? I just made a man disappear with one wink. What a shame. My girls so wanted to meet him. Isn’t that right? ANGELS react seductively toward the audience. LOLA (cont’d) Don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe. My girls are harmless. But then again, this is live theater. So, you never know. LOLA (cont’d) LEAVE EXPECTATIONS AT THE DOOR JUST LET YOUR EYES EXPLORE MY CINEMATIC FLAIR FROM MY BOOT TO DERRIERE Action freezes on this scene. THE MUSICAL VAMP CONTINUES through... PRICE & SON OFFICE: ...where CHARLIE faces TRISH, a female factory worker who is nearly in tears. (On the desk we see LOLA’S BROKEN BOOT.) TRISH A two week notice? And then what? CHARLIE As I’ve said, I’ve found someone to buy our current stock, but with no orders for next season we’ll have to shut down. TRISH Please, Charlie, my girl’s just started school. It’s the uniforms, love. And me with no husband to help... CHARLIE I’m sorry, Trish, but Chambers has cancelled our contract so what else can I do? TRISH Is that what all this is about; Them Chambers shoe returns? All right, so you’ve had some bad news, but chin up, chum. As my mother used to say, “Don’t worry today because today ain’t tomorrow.” So, thanks for the chat, Charlie. And good luck.

26.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 SHE jumps to her feet and is off... CHARLIE No, Trish. It’s not like that. I have to... And WE return to... THE ANGEL CLUB STAGE: ...where the song continues. LOLA (cont’d) AND LIKE SHAZZAM AND BAM HERE I AM YES, MA’AM I’M LOLA

SHAZZAM

ANGELS

LOLA MUSICAL VAMP CONTINUES....

BACK TO THE OFFICE: CHARLIE is now faced with DON. CHARLIE So, I’m giving everyone their two week notice. We’ll use the time to ratchet down production, take inventory, clean the machines... DON Who are you kiddin’? I been workin’ here since you and me was kids. I’m third generation Price & Son. CHARLIE The fact is that nine out of ten shoe manufacturers are shut down already. So unless we can find a miracle buyer... What else can I do? DON Do what you like, but you can’t fire me. Remember, back at school, when you tried to cut me off your rugby team. Remember what happened? CHARLIE You shoved me down a flight of stairs and got suspended. DON Yeah. But I stayed on the team. Back to...

27.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 BACK TO THE STAGE: LOLA (CONT’D) AND LIKE JE SUIS OOH-WEE THAT’S ME EBONY I’M LOLA

JE SUIS

ANGELS

LOLA

CHARLIE is faced with LAUREN. CHARLIE But what else can I do? We can’t keep making things that no one wants... LAUREN Then make something they do. The MUSIC COMES TO A SCREECHING HALT. CHARLIE “Make something they do” what? LAUREN Make something they do want. Change the product. CHARLIE This is a shoe factory. We make shoes. MUSIC - starts up again as a vamp. LAUREN Not ones anyone wants. Over at the Whitcomb factory: They noted a lack of all-weather hiking shoes. So they started making allweather hiking shoes and saved the factory. Toby’s has started making sandals. All the sods who survived went out looking for an underserved niche market and aimed to fill the void. They didn’t sit up in their offices whining, “What else can I do?” THE SHOE ALARM sounds along with the telephone in CHARLIE’S OFFICE. SHOE STORE FRONT IN LONDON: NICOLA stands in front of the SHOE STORE from the opening, her cel phone in hand.

28.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE is rifling about, looking for something on his desk... NICOLA Well, my wedding shoes are still here. But my fiance is no where in sight. CHARLIE Sorry, Nic. I’m completely underwater... NICOLA You saying you still haven’t left? Charlie, we have an appointment. If we lose this hall we’ll wind up getting married in a fish and chip shop. CHARLIE Now that sounds like fun. NICOLA Are you seriously standing me up? CHARLIE C’mon, Nic. Do we really need a showy wedding? In the end, shouldn’t it be about us? NICOLA A wedding announces to the world who you, as a couple, are going to be. CHARLIE I’ve just given two-week notices to George, Don, Maggie, Trish... NICOLA (Interrupting) Cripes! I forgot to ask Maggie to be a bridesmaid. She’ll like that, eh? CHARLIE I think she’d like getting a paycheck better. Honestly, Nic, wouldn’t saving all those people’s jobs tell the world a bit more about us than having a fancy party in a pair of nine hundred quid shoes you’ll wear once? Talk about your niche market! MUSICAL STING. CHARLIE suddenly stares at the broken BOOT. CHARLIE(cont’d) Talk about your niche market.

29.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 MUSICAL STING. NICOLA Talk about what niche market? MUSICAL STING. CHARLIE “Take what you got”. “Change the product”. “Find an under-served niche market”. And they are certainly a completely under-served niche market! NICOLA Have you gone off your nut? CHARLIE Nic... I’ll ring you back. THE MUSICAL VAMP RAMPS UP AGAIN... Excitedly, CHARLIE calls out over his microphone... CHARLIE (cont’d) (CONT’D) Lauren to the office! Lauren come see Mr Pri... Charlie in his office! NOW! LAUREN meets up with CHARLIE in the office. HE grabs her hand and pulls her back down the stairs toward... BACK TO THE STAGE: LOLA’S SONG resumes exactly where it had broken off. CHARLIE and LAUREN appear in the club... STEP IN

ANGELS

WHERE GLAM WELCOME WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY LOLA SO COME AND TAKE MY HAND WELCOME TO THE LAND OF LOLA.

LOLA STEP IN TO A DREAM GLAMOUR IS EXTREME WELCOME TO OUR FANTASY WE GIVE GOOD EPIPHANY ANGELS LOLA

30.


LOLA joins them at a table. LOLA (to Lauren) You’ve got a dark horse in this boyfriend of yours. Both jump at the suggestion. CHARLIE She’s not my... I have another...

LAUREN No, no, no. Nothing going on here. He’s got another girl. I just stuff his boxes. At least for the next two weeks.

LOLA (cont’d) (to Charlie) What are you staring at? LAUREN You’ll have to forgive him. We don’t get many transvestites in Northampton. LOLA Don’t kid yourself. You’re never more than ten steps away from some kind of cross-dresser. In any case, those are not transvestites. They’re drag queens. LAUREN There’s a difference? LOLA A drag queen puts on a frock and suddenly she’s Cleopatra. A transvestite gets done up and, often as not, looks like Winston Churchill in his mother’s knickers. CHARLIE And so you are...? LOLA Insulted that you need to ask. So, you fired this lovely girl? CHARLIE Things aren’t very good in men’s shoes. LOLA Certainly I’m not. CHARLIE How much do you weigh?

31.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA Exactly the right amount. CHARLIE For a man. But you’re wearing women’s boots. LOLA And I thought you weren’t paying attention. CHARLIE Well, it’s all wrong. LOLA Hasn’t stopped me yet. CHARLIE A heel made for a woman cannot possibly support a man’s weight. You need something special. LOLA And I deserve something special. CHARLIE Well, if you trans-vet-erans are everywhere, like you say, then there must be a niche market for properly built-to-last women’s boots for women who are men. Yes? No? The international shoe exhibition is in Milan next month. If we had something new to show... Something no one else in the world has to offer... Might just save the factory.

Ha!

LAUREN (getting it finally)

CHARLIE I’d like to measure you up, go back and make a sample pair. LOLA stands, lifts her skirt and offers her leg. CHARLIE takes out his tape measure but is stopped by LOLA... LOLA First riddle me this: Who gets to keep the boots? I’ll give you a hint: The correct answer is, “You do, Lola”. You do Lola.

CHARLIE

32.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA Where do I pick them up? Price’s of Northampton, is it? CHARLIE No! I’ll bring them to you. I come to London all the time. LOLA You don’t want me to come to Northampton, do you? No.

CHARLIE

LOLA Sorry, but I have a terrible habit of doing exactly the opposite of what people ask, which might be why I’m wearing this frock today. See you in Northampton. LOLA starts to leave but turns back... LOLA (cont'd) And... make them RED. LOLA exits along with the CLUB. MUSIC: STEP ONE CHARLIE is suddenly alone in his office... PRICE & SON FACTORY: Accompanied by his musical vamp, CHARLIE chooses a bolt of leather and rolls it out on his desk. Charlie launches into cutting, stitching, shaping and creating a boot. CHARLIE DO I BELONG HERE? AM I WHAT’S WRONG HERE? KNOW WHAT I’M DOING? OR AM I A FRAUD? DO I FIT IN? WHERE DO I BEGIN? SAME OLD CHARLIE, FRIGHTENED AND FLAWED.

33.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 SO, I PRETEND AND KEEP MY HEAD UP LIKE I KNOW HOW THIS WILL END. MAYBE THESE PIECES ARE FALLING TOGETHER. MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I’M NOT ALONE. PUNCHING HOLES INTO THIS LEATHER THIS KIND’A FEELS LIKE I’M BACK HOME. I’M WATCHING MYSELF AND I KNOW WHAT TO DO. HEY LOOK AT ME NOW IT’S A SHOE. Hours are passing and the WORKERS are showing up at their places. There are many eyes trying to see what Charlie is doing. THIS IS THE TIME FOR A SHAKE UP, LOOK AT ME WAKE UP TAKING CONTROL. THIS IS A NEW BEGINNING MY GEARS ARE SPINNING LET’S ROCK AND ROLL JUST PUT ONE FOOT ONWARD AND FORWARD I USED TO BE A ZERO BUT NOW I CLEARLY FEEL THAT I MAY BE THE HERO WHO REINVENTS THE HEEL I MAY BE FACING THE IMPOSSIBLE I MAY BE CHASING AFTER MIRACLES. AND THERE MAY BE THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN TO OVERCOME. BUT THIS IS STEP ONE. HEY, THIS IS STEP ONE.

34.


WHO KNEW I HAD IT IN ME LET ME BEGIN SEE WHERE THIS CAN GO I’VE GOT KNOWLEDGE AND KNOW HOW DON’T STOP THE SHOW NOW DON’T STOP THE FLOW JUST PUT ONE FOOT ONWARD AND FORWARD I USED TO LIVE IN LIMBO NEVER DYING TO BEGIN BUT NOW IT’S SINK OR SWIM SO I BETTER DIVE RIGHT IN I MAY BE FACING THE IMPOSSIBLE I MAY BE CHASING AFTER MIRACLES. AND THERE MAY BE THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN TO OVERCOME. BUT THIS IS STEP ONE. IT’S NOT JUST A FACTORY THIS IS MY FAMILY NO ONE’S GONNA SHUT US DOWN. Not while Charlie Price is around. WE MAY BE FACING THE IMPOSSIBLE WE MAY BE CHASING AFTER MIRACLES. AND THERE MAY BE THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN TO OVERCOME. WE MAY BE FACING THE IMPOSSIBLE WE MAY BE CHASING AFTER MIRACLES. AND THERE MAY BE THE STEEPEST MOUNTAIN TO OVERCOME. BUT THIS IS STEP ONE LOOK WHAT CHARLIE BOY HAS DONE THIS IS STEP ONE. CHARLIE hoists his creation proudly in the air for all to see: a large, clunky, burgundy boot with a block heel. MUSIC ENDS WITH A STING. LOLA appears at the top of the factory stairs. SHE grabs the boot like a dirty diaper... LOLA What is this?

35.


Your boot. Burgundy?

CHARLIE LOLA CHARLIE notes that all of the WORKERS are staring at LOLA in disbelief.

CHARLIE Something wrong? LOLA Please, Lord, tell me I’ve not inspired something burgundy. CHARLIE At the club you said... Red.

LOLA

CHARLIE You didn’t specify... RED.

LOLA

CHARLIE Burgundy is a red. LOLA (building from a soft growl) Burgundy is the color of hot water bottles. RRREEEDDDD is the color of sex. Burgundy’s for cardigans and golf apparel. RED is passion and danger and signs that say “DO NOT ENTER”. PAT, fascinated by Lola, steps forward. PAT I’ve always been partial to pink. LOLA (playing right back to her) Pink is for playthings. Yellow’s for warnings. Purple for princes. Black for wannabees. Green is for pickles. But Red is for sex. CHARLIE (trying to jump back in) At least try them on. I guarantee they’re comfy.

36.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA SEX shouldn’t be comfy. TRISH Oh, good. I thought it was just me. LOLA Comfy is what’s putting you out of business. You want to save this place? You’re going to have to start manufacturing sex. Two and a half feet of irresistible tubular sex. CHARLIE At least look at the heel. You sort can dance all night, beat up a football team, and this heel will still be whole. Isn’t that what you wanted? LOLA Not if it means looking like a Ukrainian folk dancer. (to the ladies) Ladies, would you go out in something like this? The WOMEN all shake their heads. But DON offers... DON But I say you’d look all right in them, sweetheart. LOLA stops to take him in. SHE saddles up seductively, sitting down on his lap. LOLA And what’s your name, darling? DON It’s Don to you, sweetheart. LOLA Well, Don, if you can’t get women to wear them... (dropping her voice an octave) ...you’ll never get them on blokes like me. The WORKERS laugh and DON turns beet red. HE buckles with disgust. LOLA (cont’d) (referring to Don) And that’s the color red you need.

37.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 EVERYONE laughs again. LOLA returns to Charlie and tosses the boot to him. LOLA (cont’d) And if you want to put them over the top, Charlie, look to the heel. MUSIC: THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL LOLA takes over the floor of the factory and sings. LOLA (cont’d) THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL EVEN IF YOU BREAK IT THE SEX IS IN THE FEEL, HONEY YOU CAN'T FAKE IT JACK IT UP 'CAUSE I'M NO FLAT TIRE LOLA (cont’d) MACK IT UP SIX INCHES HIGHER THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL SO JUST EMBRACE IT LOLA (cont’d) Hope you don’t mind, I brought my own back-up. Ladies, tell the man what you need! LOLA waves toward the upper door of the factory... SIX ANGELS appear in traveling attire and join the number. LOLA & THE ANGELS FROM LONDON TO MILAN STILETTOS ARE AN ISM IN RED AND NEON LIFE GIMME JIMMY CHOO, CHOO, CHOO, CHOO, CHOO, CHOO, SHOES NEW YORK, PARIS, HONG KONG LIVE IT LIKE AN ISM SEDUCTION AMPLIFIED THE HEEL IS THE TRANSMISSION PAT (rapping for her life) ASSERTING ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC REASON HEELS TENSE THE LEG AND THE HINDQUARTER REGION LIFTING THE REAR AND MAKING IT APPEAR PERT AND READY FOR MATING SEASON LOLA (flirting with PAT) That’s the scientific view. But you know what I say? THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL FIERCE AS YOU CAN MAKE IT

38.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 THE SEX IS THE APPEAL KINKY BOYS CAN SHAKE IT LOLA (cont’d) PUMP IT UP TILL IT'S OSTENTATIOUS FUNK IT UP TILL IT FEELS CONTAGIOUS THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL SO JUST EMBRACE IT

ANGELS, LAUREN, TRISH & FE1 PUMP IT UP FUNK IT UP

LOLA, ANGELS, LAUREN, TRISH, PAT & FEMALE ENSEMBLE FROM LONDON TO MILAN FEED THAT CHIC HOT FEELING IN RED AND NEON LIFE WON’T GO NOWHERE WITHOUT M-M-MY MANOLOS NEW YORK, PARIS, HONG KONG STILETTOS LEAVE ‘EM REELING SEDUCTION AMPLIFIED ALL (NO DON) THE HEEL SHOULD HIT THE CEILING THE HEEL SHOULD HIT THE THE HEEL SHOULD HIT THE CEILING (DANCE BREAK) During the dance the ANGELS present LOLA with sketch pads onto which she draws fabulous glittery boots. LOLA (whispered) THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL LOLA & TWO ANGELS (A2 & A3) THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL LOLA & ALL ANGELS THE SEX IS IN THE HEEL ALL (NO DON) FROM LONDON TO MILAN STILETTOS ARE AN ISM IN RED AND NEON LIFE GOTTA LOTTA P-P-P-P-P-P-PRADA NEW YORK, PARIS, HONG KONG LIVE IT LIKE AN ISM SEDUCTION AMPLIFIED THE HEEL IS THE TRANSMISSION

39.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE, GEORGE and LAUREN huddle over the sketches... LAUREN These are brilliant. I’d wear any one of them. CHARLIE You are not our niche market. GEORGE There are some very interesting ideas here. CHARLIE They’re all stiletto heels. It’s physically impossible to make a stiletto that can bear the weight of a full grown man. Not so fast.

GEORGE Suddenly GEORGE breaks out in song...

GEORGE (cont’d) IF WE COULD MOLD THE STEEL ONE PIECE FROM BALL TO HEEL WE’D UNDERPIN IT, AND REMAKE IT SO NOT EVEN DON COULD BREAK IT. Sorry?

CHARLIE

GEORGE I said... WE’D UNDERPIN IT, AND REMAKE IT SO NOT EVEN DON COULD BREAK IT. CHARLIE Yeah? You think? GEORGE We can do it. LAUREN We can do it. CHARLIE rushes to LOLA... CHARLIE We can do it! ALL (NO DON) FROM LONDON TO MILAN STILETTOS ARE AN ISM IN RED AND NEON LIFE

40.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 GIMME BIG RED BOO, BOO, BOO, BOO, BOO, BOO, BOOTS NEW YORK, PARIS, HONG KONG MALE ENSEMBLE WATCH OUT WORLD

HERE WE COME!

WOMEN WATCH OUT WORLD

ALL (NO DON) (cont’d) LOLA and THE ANGELS finish the number in front of the factory.

FACADE OF THE FACTORY: CHARLIE rushes after LOLA who is on her mobile phone. CHARLIE Lola! Did you hear me? I said we can do it. LOLA All right, but you’ve got to be quick. We have an eight o’clock show. CHARLIE Seriously. We think we have a way to make the boots. And if we can, and if you’re right about never being far from a cross...customer, we might just have something. LOLA That there’s cause for celebration. (Into the phone) Yes, I need a van to take seven to the train station. CHARLIE You’ve got to stay. LOLA (Into phone) I’ll ring back. (to Charlie) Me? Stay? Here? Yes? No. Charlie my boy, I abandoned the provinces years ago and your fellow Don in there was a stellar reminder why. CHARLIE Forget about Don. He’s just... LOLA Just like every other man in Northampton. Charlie, I escaped this life once. I’m not doing it again.

41.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE So you head back to London and I’m here trying to save a factory that four generations of my family poured their life’s blood into. LOLA Get to the part that applies to me. CHARLIE I’m willing to gamble the fate of this whole enterprise on you as a designer. LOLA (taken by surprise) Me a designer? Now who’s kidding who? Hand me glitter, feathers and a hot glue gun and I can make the world a pretty place. But me a designer? CHARLIE I’ve been force-fed shoes since childhood but I never seen nothin’ like what you just drew. LOLA They’re drawings. The silly scribblings of a bragarty sissy boy who doesn’t know when to shut his yap. (Seriously.) Have a gander at me, Charlie. I wouldn’t trust me to baby-sit a cactus. CHARLIE You are passionate about shoes. I haven’t heard anyone talk about a heel that way since... Not since my father. Do you know how rare it is to feel that way about something? You know how jealous I am? I never been passionate about nothing. Well, maybe snogging. LOLA Ah, but we’re forgetting something: I don’t know how to make a shoe. CHARLIE Just so happens I do. If we’re to succeed we’ll need to produce a boot unlike anything anyone has ever seen before. That’s where you come in. And, if we don’t want to be laughed out of Milan, they’ll have to be executed so impeccably that no one can deny we’re comers to be reckoned with. And that, God help us, is where I come in. (Stops and regroups his thoughts.) Three weeks. Three weeks, Lola. That’s all I’m asking.

42.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA starts to wave to the unseen TAXI. LOLA Is that a taxi or a police car? Guess I’ll find out when I offer him money. CHARLIE Opportunity has fallen into your lap. The easy thing, maybe even the sensible thing, would be to walk off and have a laugh about the time some nutter offered you a job designing kinky boots. But I promise, if you do, the rest of your life you’ll wonder, “What if I had said yes? What if I had stayed?” CHARLIE turns and walks back into the factory. LOLA kicks her heels at the sidewalk. LOLA A designer? A designer! Guess I could get used to that name; Kinky Boots. Or better yet, Lola’s Kinky Boots... (Following after CHARLIE) Hope you know you’re gonna have to make me a new sign. And I warn you: It had better be RED! SHE exits into the factory. PRICE & SON FACTORY EXTERIOR: WORKERS IF YOU STROLL OR SAUNTER AMBLE, WALK, JOG, HOP OR RUN THE PRUDENT SHOE FOR YOU TO CHOOSE IS PRICE AND SON FACTORY INTERIOR: CHARLIE, with GEORGE and LAUREN at his side, addresses the assembled WORKERS. CHARLIE Price & Son spent the last century making a range of shoes for men. We will begin this century making a range of shoes for a range of men. There’s no denying it’s do or die. But “do” we will. Are there any questions? EVERYONE raises their hands. CHARLIE decides to ignore them.

43.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE (cont’d) All right then. Let’s make shoes!... Boots! The machines turn on and the WORKERS get busy. GEORGE presents papers and a pen to CHARLIE. GEORGE If I can just get your signature on these checks, Mr Price. CHARLIE George, it’s Charlie... GEORGE (Insistently) Mr Price! You’ve earned it. Today, at least. GEORGE leaves. CHARLIE turns to LAUREN, quite proud of himself. CHARLIE Mr Price, eh? Better than being What-Else-Can-IDo Charlie. I’m Take-Charge Charlie all the way now. LAUREN Very impressive. CHARLIE Thanks to you. Anytime.

LAUREN

CHARLIE (Dead serious) No. I mean it. Thanks to you. Thank - You. A WORKER enters with a schematic... MARGE (FE1) Charlie? Can I get your opinion here? MUSIC: THE HISTORY OF WRONG GUYS

‘Scuse me.

CHARLIE (To Lauren) LAUREN, working at her boxing station, muses...

44.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LAUREN (Punching herself.) Oh, no. You don’t dare. Girl, girl, girl, I’m warning you! No! Think I have a crush. I can’t. I think I’m falling for him. OH, NO WHY NOT? WOMEN HAVE BEEN MAKING BAD CHOICES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. ARE YOU GONNA BE ANOTHER ONE OF MINE? OHHH CHARLIE disrupts her thoughts... CHARLIE Lauren? Lauren.

Huh?

LAUREN (Moony eyed)

CHARLIE I was thinking, keeping you on the production line is a waste of your talents. I’d like you to work with me on the Milan show. LAUREN You don’t owe me a job. CHARLIE No? All this started with you having a fit. LAUREN I had a fit, but you had an idea. That’s why some of us get our names on factories and the rest on punch-cards. CHARLIE As someone whose name is on a factory, I am asking if I may please place your name on one of his executive punch-cards? LAUREN smiles at him. Good. Good.

CHARLIE (cont’d) CHARLIE notices that LAUREN is mooning at him.

CHARLIE (cont’d) What? Have I got something stuck in my teeth?

45.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LAUREN Just funny how you can know someone all your life and not really know ‘em at all. CHARLIE Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you later. LAUREN Sure thing, boss. CHARLIE heads up to his office and LAUREN... LAUREN (cont’d) USED TO THINK YOU WERE FROM OUTER SPACE WHO’S THIS BRIGHT EYED GUY IN YOUR PLACE? YOU’RE KIND OF CUTE WHEN YOU’RE NOT SO SHY. OH. BUT I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE HAVE I COME BACK FOR MORE? ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE HISTORY OF WRONG GUYS YOU USED TO BE SO “EH” A LIMP LACKLUSTER BORE BUT NOW YOU’RE CHANGING INTO SOMEONE I JUST CAN’T IGNORE. SHE turns back to watch CHARLIE in the office above. LAUREN (cont’d) CHARLIE, HONESTLY I’VE BEEN HURT LIKE THIS BEFORE IS THERE REALLY MORE TO YOU THAN WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT? HOW CAN YOU SURPRISE ME ANYMORE? OH. OH. OH. CHARLIE waves. LAUREN waves back until she realizes that NICOLA has entered behind her and that’s who CHARLIE is waving to. LAUREN shrinks with embarrassment. LAUREN (cont’d) He’s got a girlfriend, you flake. Why are they only nice when they’re unavailable? DON’T WANT TO BE ANOTHER STAR CROSSED LOVER. WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT ENDS. I’M BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM WE’RE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS.

46.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE comes down, talks to NICOLA who has brought him a bagged lunch. LAUREN (cont’d) BUT I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE HAVE I COME BACK FOR MORE? ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE HISTORY OF WRONG GUYS. YESTERDAY NO SPARK NO HEART ACHING ALLURE BUT TODAY I’M FEELING SOMETHING I JUST CAN’T IGNORE. CHARLIE, HONESTLY I’VE BEEN HURT LIKE THIS BEFORE OH, OH, OH THE HISTORY OF WRONG GUYS: CHAPTER ONE - HE’S A BUM TWO - HE’S NOT INTO YOU THREE - HE’S A SLEAZE FOUR - LOVES A GIRL NEXT DOOR FIVE - LOVES A BOY NEXT DOOR SIX - DON’T LOVE YOU NO MORE - MAKES YOU INSECURE - MAKES YOU SO UNSURE - IS SO IMMATURE - LOVES HIS MOTHER MORE - OR... ...has a girlfriend named Nicola. NICOLA leaves. CHARLIE merrily tosses LAUREN an apple from his lunch and invites her to follow him upstairs... CHARLIE Ready to get to work? LAUREN CHARLIE, HONESTLY I’VE BEEN HURT LIKE THIS BEFORE I CAN SEE THERE’S MORE TO YOU THAN WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT BUT I WON’T BE BURNED ANYMORE OH, OH, OH LAUREN takes a bite of the apple & grabs her purse from her packing station. TRISH Where you off to? LAUREN I been exec-utized.

47.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 MUSICAL STING. LAUREN joins CHARLIE in the office. PRICE FACTORY INTERIOR: DON is laughing with two other MALE WORKERS near the factory entrance as GEORGE comes by... GEORGE I didn’t hear the tea cart. Don’t you boys have work needs doing? WORKER 1 (ME6) (Aping a gay effect) What’s the matter? Fretting that the Mistress will slap you down for not doing her bidding? GEORGE You’re as clever as you are rich. DON C’mon, George. He’s gone and made Price & Son the town joke and you know it. GEORGE Happens I know no such thing. DON At FIST’A CUFFS PUB last night, the fellas from Delaney Shoes was callin’ us “Slaves of the pouf”. GEORGE With Delaney’s about to shutter one would think those boys would do better than drink their money away. Meanwhile, last time I looked, you lot were still drawing a paycheck here. So why don’t you stifle your yaps and earn your keep. GEORGE moves off. WORKER 1 (ME6) (Poking fun) You’ve been put in your place now, haven’t you, Don? DON Ah, get stuffed, the both of yis. MUSIC: LOLA’S VAMP (reprise) LOLA

ANGELS (O.S.)

48.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 DON And here comes her royal highness now. DON and the MALE WORKERS watch the door as ... LOLA appears in the doorway wearing men’s clothing. SHE looks completely uncomfortable. What the...

WORKER 1 (ME6)

WORKER 2 (ME5) Just when you was sure ya seen it all... ANGELS (O.S.)

LOLA

DON and the WORKERS can hardly contain themselves. LOLA steels her courage and walks slowly, steadily, down onto the factory floor and right up to DON who stares at her while feeling quite superior. LOLA Have you got any toilets down here? DON I’m afraid all’s we got is Men’s and Women’s. Quick light shift... OFFICE: ...LAUREN calls breathlessly to CHARLIE. LAUREN Charlie, quick. Lola’s gone and locked herself in the loo. Hurry. CHARLIE rushes to the factory floor. CHARLIE All right. I’ll talk to her. But I’m not going into the Ladies’ room. You go and get her to come out. LAUREN She’s in the Gent’s.

49.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 This stops CHARLIE cold. The what?

CHARLIE

LAUREN The Men’s Room. CHARLIE Well, of course... she... is... Light shift. MEN’S ROOM OF THE FACTORY: CHARLIE enters the empty bathroom. (LOLA is hiding in a stall.) CHARLIE Lola? It’s Charlie. Are you sick? LOLA Depends who you ask. LOLA opens the stall door and CHARLIE gets a look at his clothing. CHARLIE No! Did someone nick your frock? LOLA I come up with the daft idea that maybe I should try to fit in. CHARLIE Probably get a lot more work done this way. Less bits and bobs to catch in the machines. LOLA Thanks for your support. Gawd! In a gown I can bellow Brunhilde in front of five hundred drunks and have a laugh. But put me in men’s clothes and I can’t sodding well say Hello. What am I doing here, Charlie? CHARLIE Becoming a designer. LOLA Did I ever ask to be one? CHARLIE Did you always want to be a performer? I mean, when you were a kid.

50.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA Whatever it was I wanted as a kid, my father beat out of me. CHARLIE Your dad hit you? LOLA (Amused at the concern) Not like that. He was a boxer. CHARLIE reacts again. LOLA (cont'd) Yup. A proper prize fighter he was, who never got the title match he wanted. But presented with a baby boy..? Well... If he couldn’t raise a champion’s belt over his head, his son would. CHARLIE He didn’t know about...? LOLA Of course he knew. But he figured if he pushed me... Trained me himself. You heard right - I am a professionally trained boxer with a dozen amateur bouts to my name, so don’t try me. But when I appeared for a fight in a white cocktail dress... He disowned me. Refused to see me. Even when he come down with lung cancer. It’s ironic really; fags got him in the end. THEY share a laugh. LOLA (cont’d) And you? You like making shoes? CHARLIE The day I was born dad set me down next in line of Price and Son. For him a done deal. But for me? First opportunity I grabbed my childhood sweetie and hopped the next train out of town. MUSIC: I’M NOT MY FATHER’S SON LOLA What was it you ran off to do? CHARLIE Anything but what he wanted. LOLA And yet here you are.

51.


Here I am.

CHARLIE

LOLA WHEN I WAS JUST A KID EVERYTHING I DID WAS TO BE LIKE HIM UNDER MY SKIN. MY FATHER ALWAYS THOUGHT IF I WAS STRONG AND FOUGHT NOT LIKE SOME ALBATROSS I’D BEGIN TO FIT IN. LOOK AT ME POWERLESS AND HOLDING MY BREATH TRYING HARD TO REPRESS WHAT SCARED HIM TO DEATH. IT WAS NEVER EASY TO BE HIS TYPE OF MAN TO BREATHE FREELY WAS NOT IN HIS PLAN AND THE BEST PART OF ME IS WHAT HE WOULDN’T SEE. I’M NOT MY FATHER’S SON I’M NOT THE IMAGE OF WHAT HE DREAMED OF WITH THE STRENGTH OF SPARTA AND THE PATIENCE OF JOB STILL COULDN’T BE THE ONE TO ECHO WHAT HE’D DONE AND MIRROR WHAT WAS NOT IN ME. SO I JUMPED IN MY DREAMS AND FOUND AN ESCAPE. MAYBE I WENT TO EXTREMES OF LEATHER AND LACE. BUT THE WORLD SEEMED BRIGHTER SIX INCHES OFF THE GROUND AND THE AIR SEEMED LIGHTER I WAS PROFOUND AND I FELT SO PROUD JUST TO LIVE OUT LOUD. I’M NOT MY FATHER’S SON I’M NOT THE IMAGE OF WHAT HE DREAMED OF WITH THE STRENGTH OF SPARTA AND THE PATIENCE OF JOB STILL COULDN’T BE THE ONE TO ECHO WHAT HE’D DONE AND MIRROR WHAT WAS NOT IN ME. THE ENDLESS TORRENT OF EXPECTATIONS SWIRLING INSIDE MY MIND WORE ME DOWN I CAME TO A REALIZATION

52.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 AND I FIN’LLY TURNED AROUND TO SEE THAT I COULD JUST BE ME. CHARLIE I’M NOT MY FATHER’S SON I’M NOT THE IMAGE OF WHAT HE DREAMED OF LOLA WITH THE STRENGTH OF SPARTA LOLA & CHARLIE AND THE PATIENCE OF JOB STILL COULDN’T BE THE ONE TO ECHO WHAT HE’D DONE AND MIRROR WHAT WAS NOT IN ME. LOLA offers a hand to shake. LOLA WE’RE THE SAME, CHARLIE BOY YOU AND ME. Charlie from Northampton, meet Simon from Clacton. CHARLIE Let’s make boots! THEY shake hands. THE MUSIC ENDS as they exit the washroom and we travel back to.. FACADE OF THE FACTORY: NICOLA is on the sidewalk setting up a display easel alongside a young handsome businessman, RICHARD BAILEY. CHARLIE comes out to greet her. HE is flushed with excitement. CHARLIE Sorry. You wouldn’t believe what’s going on in there. NICOLA Hey, stranger, don’t I get a kiss? HE kisses her quickly. CHARLIE Sorry. I’m just excited. Nic, I’ve found the craziest solution for the factory.

53.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 NICOLA Slow down, Charlie. You said you’d hear us out. Yeah? Like I told you on the phone, some of this is going to come as a shock, but you promised you’d listen with an open mind. RICHARD steps up to them. NICOLA (cont’d) Charlie, you remember my boss Richard Bailey. BAILEY (ME2) I was almost your boss, too. Eh, mate? Sorry about your dad. But I hope, once the dust settles, maybe you’ll come back and work with us. CHARLIE answers with a blank stare. BAILEY (cont’d) In any event, I have to say that I am cranked on this project. Not all buildings deserve a second life, but yours is special. Second life?

CHARLIE

NICOLA Let the man talk, darling. BAILEY proudly unveils the drawing on the easel. BAILEY (ME2) Price & Son Condominiums! One, two and three bedroom loft style homes with all the amenities... NICOLA How exciting is that? BAILEY (ME2) Look at the detail. It’s not what you change about a building, it’s what you preserve that marks a great conversion. CHARLIE What makes you think we’re up for conversion? NICOLA You promised to hear the man out. CHARLIE Price and Son is not for sale.

54.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 NICOLA Actually it is, unless you want to see it foreclosed. CHARLIE If you’d listen you’d know that I’ve found a solution... LOLA bursts out of the factory door. SHE wears men’s clothes, but on the flamboyant side. LOLA Charlie, come quick. The Angel’s train just pulled in, the first pair of boots are on their final polish, but we can’t unveil them without you. NICOLA stares. CHARLIE blushes. LOLA takes the temperature. LOLA (cont’d) Oh, hello. I’m Lola. I’m the one designing Charlie’s new line of transvestite footwear. LOLA offers a long-nailed hand which NICOLA backs away from. LOLA (cont’d) There’s a slight chill in the air, or is it me? Maybe I should just... go away. LOLA retreats inside. CHARLIE That was.. You really have to know him,... Listen, Nicky, I have not gone into this lightly. There actually is a market out there for... NICOLA Before you make a complete fool of yourself it’s time you heard the truth. Selling the building was your father’s idea. Yes, your father’s idea. He approached Richard months ago. (To Richard) Tell him. BAILEY It’s true. Your dad and I had several meetings. BAILEY shrugs with embarrassment and then moves away.

55.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 NICOLA You yourself told me that he had a plan. Remember? Well, this was it. The contracts were almost done when he passed. We can show you the papers. Richard came to me first lest you think your father doubted you could run the business. But, don’t look so down. This is all good news. The deal Richard’s put together will rid you of the factory, settle your family’s debts and insure our future with a career-defining selling opportunity. We even get a model flat, rent free, while we’re selling. CHARLIE (Desperate) I’m asking you to have a bit of faith... NICOLA Stop! Are you deaf? Your father was cashing out! You owe him nothing. The prison door is open. You’re free, Charlie. All you need do is walk away. MUSICAL STING: CHARLIE’S SOLILOQUY (reprise) CHARLIE is alone with his thoughts... CHARLIE YOU WERE ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT I NEED TO BE BUT YOU NEVER REALLY HAD ENOUGH FAITH IN ME DAD, YOU GAVE UP THE FACTORY. WELL, THIS TIME I’M GONNA TAKE THAT CHANCE LEAP INTO THE VAST EXPANSE THIS TIME I’M GONNA SEIZE MY DESTINY. MY DESTINY.... PRICE & SON INTERIOR CHARLIE enters the factory as THE SHOE ALARM sounds. LOLA stands next to a pair of outrageous THIGH HIGH RED SHINY BOOTS. THE WORKERS are all around her awaiting CHARLIE’S reaction. LOLA Well, boss, is this what you had in mind? CHARLIE steels himself, studies the boots, and for the first time shakes his head in affirmation...

56.


Yeah! Yeah? Yeah! Yeah?

CHARLIE LOLA CHARLIE LOLA MUSIC: EVERYBODY SAY YEAH! CHARLIE leaps up onto a conveyor belt and leads the company in celebration.

CHARLIE YEAH!!!!! LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH, YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH SAY YEAH YEAH YEAH SAY YEAH SAY YEAH YEAH

GEORGE CHARLIE WORKERS (ME3, FE1) CHARLIE GEORGE & WORKERS (ME2, ME4, ME5) CHARLIE LAUREN & WORKERS (ME1, ME3, ME6, FE1, FE3) ALL (NO ANGELS)

CHARLIE YOU CAN THROW OUT THE OLD WAY ‘CAUSE IT’S BEEN DONE LOLA WE’RE GETTING READY FOR THE NEW CHARLIE WITNESS THE FUTURE OF PRICE AND SON

57.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA PAPA’S GOT A BRAND NEW SHOE HAS A LIFE OF BROKEN HEELS GOT YOU DOWN? CHARLIE WELL, WE’VE GOT YOUR SOLUTION GET UP GET IT ON AND GET IN STEP

LOLA CHARLIE

CHARLIE & LOLA WITH THE KINKY REVOLUTION CHARLIE LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH, YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

LAUREN CHARLIE LOLA

CHARLIE LEMME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH, YEAH

YEAH YEAH SAY YEAH

YEAH! YEAH!

LAUREN & WORKERS (FE1, FE3, ME1, ME3, ME6) CHARLIE PAT, TRISH, GEORGE & WORKERS (FE2, ME2, ME4, ME5) ALL

CHARLIE Welcome to our future. No longer are we making shoes. We are making two and a half feet of irresistible tubular sex. So let’s do it! MALE WORKER (ME5) I PUNCHED THE HOLES

58.


I SEWED THE SEAMS

TWO FEMALE WORKERS (FE2, FE3)

PAT AND I’D PULL THE LEATHER TIGHT GEORGE I PUT THE STEEL INSIDE THE HEEL ALL WOMEN NOW WE GO OFF LIKE DYNAMITE CHARLIE CAN YOU PICTURE THIS A GLAMOROUS FASHION EXHIBITION LOLA I SEE FLASHBULB LIGHTS AND FASHION HEIGHTS ALL (NO ANGELS) I SEE PRESS AND TELEVISION CHARLIE LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH, YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

LOLA, WORKERS & ANGELS CHARLIE

LOLA HE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SAY YEAH YEAH SAY YEAH YEAH! YEAH!

ALL (NO ANGELS) YEAH YEAH ALL (NO ANGELS) YEAH YEAH

LOLA ALL (NO ANGELS)

PAT & TRISH SYNERGY, MY PETS IN PATENT LEATHER REDS SAY WHOA! WHOA!

ALL (NO ANGELS)

PAT & TRISH TELL ME THIS IS KISMET

59.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE NOW IF YOU ARE WITH THIS LET’S ALL GO! EV’RYBODY SAY YEAH! LOLA waves offstage... LOLA Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome our niche market! The ANGELS ride on atop the conveyor belts. DANCE BREAK OI, OI, OI, OI

ALL

TRISH (ad lib) Charlie! Help! Get me off this thing!

CHARLIE

EV’RYBODY

LOLA

EV’RYBODY

ALL

EV’RYBODY SAY YEAH YEAH

CHARLIE LOLA, WORKERS & ANGELS

YEAH YEAH CHARLIE YEAH YEAH

WORKERS & ANGELS YEAH YEAH

LOLA UH, HE WANTS TO HEAR YA SAY YEAH YEAH LOLA YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

WORKERS & ANGELS YEAH YEAH WORKERS & ANGELS YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH WORKERS & ANGELS

CHARLIE & LOLA SAY YEAH!

SAY YEAH

60.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 WORKERS & ANGELS

CHARLIE & LOLA SAY YEAH

SAY YEAH! YEAH! WORKERS & ANGELS

CHARLIE SAY YEAH

SAY YEAH

SAY YEAH

YEAH

LOLA

WORKERS & ANGELS YEAH

CHARLIE

WORKERS & ANGELS YEAH

ALL EV’RYBODY, EV’RYBODY, EV’RYBODY SAY YEAH! YEAH YEAH!

INTERMISSION.

ACT TWO MUSIC: ENTR’ACTE As the HOUSELIGHTS fade, WE hear the WORKERS singing an updated version of the PRICE & SON THEME as... TWO WORKERS carry on a ladder and set it under the PRICE & SON sign. ONE climbs up and attaches a BIG RED GLITTERY BOOT to cover the drab brown men’s brogue that was there before. MUSIC: PRICE & SON REDUX WORKERS (V.O.) TRUST YOUR FEET IN PRICE AND SON OUR WORK IS TRIED AND TRUE PRACTICAL, PRAGMATICAL, STEADFAST AND STURDY, STURDY TOO. WHETHER YOU'RE HIGH BROW OR PURE OR POSH OR WORKING CLASS GET YOUR MITTS ON KINKY KICKS AND KICK SOME ASS.

61.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 PRICE & SON INTERIOR: On the factory floor, LOLA appears carrying bolts of leather. CHARLIE catches up to her. CHARLIE Where do you think you’re going with those? LOLA Something’s not quite right. I want to see the colors in daylight. CHARLIE What did we talk about the other day? I thought we agreed on what constitutes proper working attire. LOLA Don’t be so hard on yourself. You look adorable. CHARLIE Did you approve the lining fabrics and the fittings for the bags? LOLA Right after lunch. CHARLIE And did you call the modeling agency? They needed to start casting yesterday. Get it done now. CHARLIE is already rushing away. Yes, boss.

LOLA

CHARLIE Now! I mean it. LOLA Love you too. LOLA turns with her bolts and bumps right into DON. All the bolts fall to the floor... DON Careful there, big lady. Or is it little man? DON and a few CRONIES laugh.

62.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 DON (cont’d) Need a hand? Or a boot? LOLA Tell me, Dapper Don, what can I do that will allow you to go on with your life undistracted by my sharing the planet? DON You could try dressing like a bloke, for starters. Jealous?

LOLA

DON What I got to be jealous of? LOLA All the attention I get from the ladies? Other WORKERS begin to gather around to see what’s happening. You? Ladies?

DON

LOLA (To the WORKERS) Raise your hand if you look to see what I wear to work each day. All of the WOMEN raise their hands. Of the men, only GEORGE does. DON stares him down. LOLA (cont’d) Now raise your hand if you care what Don wears. Not one does. DON You tryin’ to tell me you ain’t tarted up to get blokes? LOLA Why would I do that? Blokes that fancy blokes fancy blokes. DON You like women?

63.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA I adore them. I worship them. My whole being is dedicated to loving them and they love me right back. DON Then why don’t all men wear dresses? LOLA A question I’ve been asking all my life. DON A woman wants a man what acts like a real man. LOLA And what does a real man act like? DON is stumped. LOLA (cont’d) Ladies, care to help Don out? Tell him what you want! FEMALE WORKER (FE1) Me? I don’t need much. A bit of companionship. A mate. A mate with benefits. TRISH I like big hands. FEMALE WORKER (FE1) Oh, and affection. TRISH I like to bite. PAT I want sensitivity and compassion. LOLA Companionship, affection, sensitivity and compassion. MUSIC: WHAT A WOMAN WANTS LOLA (cont’d) Traditionally - female characteristics, wouldn’t you say? DON You’re off your raft. Really?

LOLA

64.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 STAND BACK LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING WHAT A WOMAN WANTS TO SEE STAND BACK MR I-KNOW-EVERYTHING BUT IT’S WHAT YOU BLINDLY SEE. WHAT A WOMAN WANTS MASCULINITY.

DON LOLA offers her hand to PAT and they begin to dance a very sexy tango where the lead switches back and forth between them.

WHAT A MAN SENSITIVITY. WHAT A MAN IN A FANTASY WHAT A MAN

PAT LOLA PAT DON PAT

LOLA WHAT A WOMAN WANTS WHAT A MAN

PAT

DON A MUSCLE TO CLUTCH WHAT A MAN

PAT

LOLA JUST A TENDER TOUCH DON YOU DON’T GET OUT TOO MUCH

65.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA TO KNOW THE SMOOTHNESS OF HER SKIN WITH A GENTLE CARESS FEEL THE FEATHERY QUALITY OF HER DRESS WHAT SEPARATES A MAN LIKE YOU FROM A MAN LIKE ME I’M A REFLECTION, HER PROTECTION I’M HER CURIOUS MYSTERY

WHAT A MAN WHAT A WOMAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A WOMAN

PAT LOLA PAT LOLA

WOMAN 1 (FE1) WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN LOLA WHAT A WOMAN WANTS WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A WOMAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A WOMAN

WOMAN 2 (FE2) PAT, WOMAN 1 & 2 (FE1 & FE2)

TRISH LOLA TRISH LOLA

TRISH, LAUREN, WOMAN 3 (FE3) WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN LOLA WHAT A WOMAN WANTS WHAT A MAN

ALL WOMEN

66.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 DON Come on, we all know that what a bird really wants is a rock solid Commitment?

LOLA (LOLA & PAT DANCE BREAK)

LOLA (cont’d) LOOK AT ME DEVILISHLY DEBONAIR LOOK AT YOU DIVINELY DULL, DRAB, AND DUMPY DON A WOMAN WANTS A MAN TO GIVE AS MUCH AS SHE CAN TAKE JUST LIKE ME ALL WOMEN A LIBIDINOUS LOTHARIO ON THE MAKE. DON

Piss off.

LOLA I have a challenge for you: LOLA fetches paper and pencil from GEORGE. LOLA (cont’d) Write down what you think I need to do to be a real man. I’ll do the same for you. Whatever you tell me to do, I will have to do. BUT, you will have to do the same for me. Deal? DON I ain’t wearin’ no poufy dress. LOLA Chickening out already? DON snatches the paper from her. The dance continues... WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

A A A A A

MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

A A A A A

WOMAN 2 (FE2) MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN

67.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA WHAT A WOMAN WANTS LOLA

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS WHAT A WOMAN WANTS LOLA WHAT A WOMAN WANTS LOLA WHAT A WOMAN WHAT A WOMAN WHAT A WOMAN WANTS. LOLA IS ME WHAT A WOMAN WANTS

WOMAN 2 (FE2) WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

A A A A A A

MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN

ALL WOMEN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN

WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

A A A A

ALL WOMEN MAN WHAT A MAN MAN WHAT A MAN MAN WHAT A MAN MAN

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

A A A A A A

MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN

ALL WOMEN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN WHAT A MAN

DON hands his piece of paper to LOLA who reads and laughs... You’re on! WHAT A MAN

LOLA ALL WOMEN LOLA strikes a pose. MUSIC ENDS.

FACADE OF THE FACTORY: It’s nighttime. CHARLIE and LAUREN are rushing down the road toward THE FIST’A’CUFFS PUB. CHARLIE Why didn’t you warn me?

68.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LAUREN I thought you heard. Everyone else did. CHARLIE Do you think I would have let it go this far? And why didn’t you stop it? LAUREN Have you ever tried stopping Lola from doing anything? Lola told Don he could give her any challenge at all and this is what he chose. CHARLIE A boxing match between Lola and Don at the FIST’A’CUFFS PUB? It’s going to be a bloody slaughter. LAUREN Have some faith. I’m sure Lola has a few moves up her sleeve... CHARLIE It’s not her I’m worried about. Lola is a professionally trained fighter. LAUREN She’s a what????? Come on!

CHARLIE CHARLIE rushes off followed by LAUREN. MUSIC BEGINS: A rhythm is heard as...

FIST’A CUFFS PUB: EVERY FACTORY WORKER is in attendance gathered around a boxing ring in the local pub. (The women will be in LOLA’S corner except for TRISH. The men will cheer on DON.) MUSIC: IN THIS CORNER MUSIC continues to build as LAUREN and CHARLIE rush into the scene. THE ANGELS, enter. One is dressed as a ROUND GIRL who holds up the cards announcing where we are in the fight.

69.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 Another is dressed as the REFEREE. A third is THE ANNOUNCER. WORKER (ME6) Um hmmm. Looks like there’s gonna be trouble. ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE (A3) Oo wee. He don’t know what he’s messing with. Uh. Huh. The ANNOUNCER climbs into the ring. LOLA enters in a gold robe. PAT is dressed as his “corner-man”. REFEREE (A5) Ladies and Gentlemen and those who have yet to make up your minds... IN THIS CORNER LEAN AND BROWN, WEIGHING IN IN A GOLD LAME GOWN IN THIS CORNER HERE TONIGHT IN THE CRADLE OF THE BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT PAT & ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE (A3) HIT HIM IN HIS BIG MOUTH HIT HIM IN HIS INSECURITY.

YEAH.

PAT, ANGEL (A3), GEORGE, FEMALE ENSEMBLE

PAT & ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE (A3) HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE HIT SO EVERYONE CAN SEE.

YEAH.

PAT, ANGEL (A3), GEORGE, FEMALE ENSEMBLE TRISH steps forward and yells toward LOLA. TRISH Who do you think you are? Coming to our town lookin’ like a penny sardine on a five-star plate. You better watch your back. DON enters in a robe surrounded by his supporters.

70.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 ANNOUNCER ANGEL (A5) IN THIS CORNER HEAVY WEIGHT WE MEAN HEAVY LIKE A BUTTERMILK CAKE CAN A REAL MAN EVER CONFESS HE WAS BEATEN BY A GUY IN A DRESS? TRISH & WORKER (ME6) HIT HIM IN THE LIPSTICK HIT HIM IN HIS FEMININE MYSTIQUE.

YEAH.

TRISH, WORKER (ME6), MALE ENSEMBLE

TRISH & WORKER (ME6) HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HEELS HIT HIM IN THE CHEEK AND SEND HIM BACK TO LONDON TOWN TRISH Sequined freak. PAT You’re just gonna get slapped, slapped, slapped. THE REFEREE calls the fighters to center ring.... REFEREE (A5) Listen up, you two. I want a clean, fair, but artfully performed fight. I don’t want to see any blows below the belt or hairs out of place. (to LOLA) Hang on, darling, you’ve a tick of lipstick on your teeth. (She fixes it) All right then. Get to your corners and come out fighting! DON and LOLA return to their corners and disrobe as THE MUSIC CRANKS. DON looks as one would expect, but the shock is LOLA who reveals a beautifully developed physique. TRISH He ain’t half the man Don is!

71.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 PAT (Laughing) You can say that again! PAT, ANGEL (A3), GEORGE, FEMALE ENSEMBLE

IN THIS CORNER WOW THE CROWD TAKE HIM DOWN AND MAKE US LADIES PROUD

TRISH, WORKER ME6, MALE ENSEMBLE IN THIS CORNER DOMINATE SET HER UP SO WE CAN SET HER STRAIGHT The ROUNDS GIRL holds up her ROUND ONE placard and the BELL sounds. LOLA and DON take to the ring and begin to dance around one another. Round one!

ANNOUNCER (A5) MUSIC: DRUM SOLO LOLA is dominant right from the get-go. DON is almost helpless.

MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS HIT HIM IN HIS BIG MOUTH HIT HIM IN HIS INSECURITY. YEAH. HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE HIT HIM SO EVERYONE CAN SEE. OOH, YEAH. The BELL RINGS. ROUND ONE is over. REFEREE (A5) Back to your corners, you beasts! DON and LOLA return to their respective corners. While DON gets the usual water and bucket, LOLA’s team has a cocktail shaker and martini glass waiting. ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE (A3) Care for a Grasshopper, darling? It’ll keep ya bouncy.

72.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 PAT If you finish him off quick we can still get Kimchee at the Korean’s. DON SO YOU GOT A GOOD SHOT DON’T GET COCKY LOLA I AM PRETTY AS ALI AND TOUGH AS ROCKY DON IF YOU’RE LUCKY I MIGHT LET YOU OFF EASY LOLA DON, YOU KNOW I GET EXCITED WHEN YOU TEASE ME. TRISH WHAT’S THE MATTER, DON YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE LOLA I FEEL LIKE A HAMMER DON I FEEL LIKE THE NAIL TRISH COME ON, DON KNOCK ‘EM BLACK AND BLUE PAT HERE COMES AN UPPERCUT, A LEFT HOOK AND A PIROUETTE TOO Round Two!

ANNOUNCER (A5) The BELL RINGS. The ROUND GIRL holds up a sign, “ROUND TWO”. DON and LOLA are back in it...

MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS HIT HIM IN HIS BIG MOUTH HIT HIM IN HIS INSECURITY. YEAH. HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE HIT HIM SO EVERYONE CAN EVERYONE CAN, EVERYONE CAN LOLA has DON on the ropes... HE’S staggering...

73.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 barely able to hold himself upright. LOLA is about to throw the final punch which will take DON down... LOLA stops, looks around at the horrified faces on the MEN. SHE then looks at DON who is almost shaking his head... “NO”. SHE stops, drops her arms and offers up her chin... DON, seeing his chance, gives out one last punch and, almost in slow motion, LOLA goes down... REFEREE (A5) Un, deux, trois! A moment of silent shock... And then the MEN surround DON in his victory and cheer! MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS HIT HIM OFF HIS HIGH HORSE DON REALLY LET THAT BIG FIST FLY, YEAH HE HIT HIM WITH HIS BRUTE FORCE NOW HE CAN HOLD HIS HEAD UP HIGH, OOH YEAH TRISH, DON, MALE ENSEMBLE Don, Don, Champion! Don, Don, Champion! Don, Don, Champion! MUSIC ENDS as everyone recovers. CHARLIE helps LOLA back to the bar. CHARLIE Less than a week ‘til Milan and you somehow figure a boxing match a good idea? LOLA I thought watching Don slap me around would boost morale. CHARLIE I suppose I should thank you for not crippling him. LOLA Anything for the war effort.

74.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 DON walks up to LOLA carrying to glasses of vodka... DON Charlie. Lola. CHARLIE Congratulations. Thanks.

DON

CHARLIE Why don’t I leave you two lovebirds to make up. CHARLIE moves away so that the couple is alone. DON offers LOLA a glass... DON They say vodka’s your preferred. THEY clink glasses and down their drinks. DON (cont’d) Why’d you do it? Why’d you let me win? Really?

Really.

LOLA DON (Checking to see they are not overheard.) LOLA downs her drink in a gulp.

LOLA Because I didn’t want you to walk into the factory tomorrow and feel disrespected. DON And how about you? LOLA Compared to my challenge, losing a fight is a polka in the pansies. LOLA takes a piece of paper out of her robe and hands it to DON. DON opens the note and reads it with a quizzical stare...

75.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 DON “Accept someone for who they are.” What’s that mean? LOLA Just what it says. DON You lookin’ for me to say men in frocks is all right? LOLA I’m not looking for you to say anything. DON (Making sure he’s got it.) “Accept someone for who they are.” How’s that make me a man? Try it. Anyone?

LOLA DON

LOLA Anyone at all. DON And that’s it? Good luck.

LOLA LOLA walks away leaving DON to ponder as the FACTORY OFFICE reappears around him...

FACTORY OFFICE PAT, LAUREN and CHARLIE are arguing over a computer screen... CHARLIE Everyone just stop talking. THEY do. CHARLIE (cont'd) Now... Now, one of you, please, cut to the chase. PAT We miscalculated. The Milan trip is going to cost more than we budgeted.

76.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE It can’t cost more because we have no more. LAUREN It’s me. I’m the blunderer. I never ciphered land transport in Milan. PAT Or the import taxes. LAUREN No. I figured the taxes for the samples. But only one pair of each. I know - Stupid. CHARLIE Not brilliant. LAUREN It’s all your fault for putting me in charge. What do I know about producing a bloody fashion show in bleedin’ Italy? CHARLIE If we can’t get our boots to Milan then all of this work has been for nothing. PAT What say we call the bank? Maybe, seeing how close we are, they’d carry us? CHARLIE “Good day, Mr Banker. We gone tits up making the best shoes in England, but we’ve chucked all that to make boots for trans-gentries so how’d you like to bunk in with us?” LAUREN It would be an awful burden, I know, but how about a short term mortgage on your new flat? CHARLIE Just did that. It’s how we got to today. CHARLIE heads down the factory floor as LOLA comes running excitedly. LOLA Charlie! Charlie! I was sittin’ on the loo when I was struck by lightning! PAT Oh, Kitten, you ought to close the window first.

77.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LAUREN I spoke to a nice chap down at the Postal. me see if he can figure any leeway on the taxes.

Let

LAUREN leaves. LOLA Would someone listen to me? CHARLIE We’re in crisis here. LOLA Charlie, you want me to hire Italian models and hair and make-up staff. Why? CHARLIE At last one question to which I have an answer. I want you to hire models and hair and make-up because we are putting on a show. LOLA But why are we using fashion models? CHARLIE I’ve got this one too. Because we are putting on a fashion show. LOLA But why are we using professional fashion models. CHARLIE This really is my day. Because we are putting on a professional fashion show. LOLA Let’s take the girls from the club. The Angels?

CHARLIE

LOLA Who would be more fun to see on a runway: A bunch of personality-free pretty boys prancing about, or a gaggle of fabulous drags who can demonstrate what these boots were born to do? CHARLIE You’re not serious. You want me to gamble my family’s business, this building, my home and the very shirt on my back on a ramshackle bunch of broke-down, cross-dressing...

78.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA There ya go biting the hand that feeds. CHARLIE I don’t know which is more daft; what you’re saying or what you’re wearing. GEORGE enters with a couple of sample boots proudly in his hands. TRISH follows close behind. GEORGE Want to have a look at these, Mr Price? CHARLIE studies the shoe and is not happy. CHARLIE The heel’s wrong. This isn’t the design. GEORGE True enough, but up against the deadline we had to improvise... CHARLIE It’s nothing like the drawing. GEORGE We had to put the heel on a different angle. Why?

CHARLIE

GEORGE Else we’d have to create an entirely new steel shank. Then do it.

CHARLIE

TRISH We’ll have no sewing time if we have to wait for a new heel. LOLA

steps in...

LOLA I told them to go ahead like that. CHARLIE But it’s not what you drew. LOLA One’s a drawing. One’s a shoe.

79.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE I didn’t give you approval. LOLA No. All you give me is deadlines. LOLA heads up to the office to make calls. CHARLIE We’re going to do it right or not at all. Let me see that one. TRISH hands over another boot and CHARLIE looks it over. CHARLIE (cont’d) These seams aren’t straight. You’re rushing. Do them over. ‘scuse me?

TRISH

CHARLIE And the zipper’s set wrong... People, this is for Milan. For the most sophisticated shoe buyers in the world. So?

TRISH

CHARLIE So I don’t want to be the laughing stock of the industry. We’re on thin ice putting these out in the first place. CHARLIE rushes about the factory floor to check on the other boots. CHARLIE (cont’d) No. Stop sewing! Trish, George, have a look at these. They’ve got to be picked out and redone correctly. They all have to be done over. TRISH It’s Saturday. And?

CHARLIE

TRISH I don’t mind a bit of “Rah Rah Kumbaya” for the sake of the team, but some of us have a life outside this factory.

80.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 OTHERS around stop working to watch the scene. CHARLIE And you’ll have a bloody lot more of it if I fire you. Do it over. (Catching himself) Please. TRISH takes the boot back to her machine. CHARLIE notices DON staring at him. CHARLIE (cont’d) (Challenging) You have a problem? GEORGE steps between them before anything can happen. GEORGE All right, everyone. Back to work. DON backs off. CHARLIE Here’s what I don’t understand; Why am I the only one who cares? GEORGE walks away biting his tongue as NICOLA comes through the gate and right at CHARLIE. SHE wears the red shoes from the opening. CHARLIE (cont’d) (Trying to fend her off) Not now, Nic... NICOLA Don’t even think about putting me off, Charlie. CHARLIE Sorry, Nic, but I’m up against a bit of a crisis here. NICOLA You mortgaged our flat without even discussing it with me? There I am, having me supper alone as usual - and along comes a man to measure up the garden for the bank note. CHARLIE I can explain...

81.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 NICOLA No one can ever say I didn’t stand by my man. And I’ll stand by you still if you give me but one reason. DON, on his way to his machine, overhears all of this. CHARLIE The reason is right in front of you. Isn’t saving Price & Son worth everything? NICOLA Where was all this passion when I was trying to make us a new life in London? CHARLIE London was for you. For us.

NICOLA

CHARLIE For you. You wanted London and I... went along. NICOLA Really? Well, you could have fooled me. And what about us? Was getting engaged just for me too? CHARLIE has no answer. NICOLA (cont’d) And this... Who’s this rubbish for? Don’t tell me it’s for your father. He’s probably spinning in his grave over what you’ve turned his factory into. So who’s it for, Charlie? That fancy friend of yours? Doin’ special favors for him? Something going on there I should know about? CHARLIE Don’t be ridiculous. NICOLA Well how should I know who you’re bunking in with? Certainly hasn’t been with me. CHARLIE (Indicating the WORKERS) I’m doing it for them. Who?

NICOLA

82.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE Them. Our friends. No? We grew up with these people. We’ve known them all our lives. And now their whole livelihood is riding on what I do. NICOLA So you’re hankering to be a hero? Charlie to the rescue, is it? Well, how do I get Charlie to rescue me? Silence between them. CHARLIE (Studying her) You look nice; all done up. NICOLA Richard’s put me on a new project. Big time stuff. I’m headed back to the city for good. Are you coming? CHARLIE looks down and sees her shoes for the first time. CHARLIE Aren’t those the shoes we saw...? NICOLA How long was I supposed to wait? NICOLA gives CHARLIE a kiss on the cheek and leaves. NICOLA (cont’d) So long, Charlie. LOLA comes down from the office, very pleased with herself. LOLA If you’re done making wedding plans, can we finish discussing the Milan show? CHARLIE There’s no discussion to be had. We’re using professional models. Done. LOLA Then you’d better get on the phone because I just called and cancelled them. CHARLIE I never told you that you could...

83.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA Think, Charlie. My girls don’t need to be paid. They’ll do it for cocktails, giggles and the chance to walk a professional runway. And my girls do their own hair and make-up so there’s the money we need to get us to Milan. CHARLIE is barely holding back his temper... CHARLIE How do I get this into your head? We are marketing to the world’s most sophisticated buyers... LOLA Half of whom probably watch the evening news wearing their wives’ brassieres. CHARLIE News-flash for Lola: There are a whole lot of us who don’t watch the evening news in brassieres. LOLA Well, bully for you, but you ain’t my buyers. CHARLIE Then here’s another news-flash: I’m not flying all the way ‘cross Europe just to sell to your chums. LOLA We won’t be selling to anyone if we can’t get to Milan. CHARLIE Well there’s no reason to go if all we’ve got to show is a bunch of Nancy-boys stomping about in skirts. We need to show our boots on women. Women?

LOLA

CHARLIE You heard me. LOLA That was never the deal. CHARLIE Then the deal was wrong. LOLA What did that girl say to you?

84.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE I am not embarrassing the name of Price & Son by parading a planeload of misfits Misfits?

LOLA

CHARLIE - at the most influential footwear show in the world. Listen to me, Lola. These boots can be mainstream! LOLA Drag queens are mainstream. Just this morning I was offered a gig singing at a nursing home. A nursing home, Charlie. In Clacton. CHARLIE And maybe that’s just where you belong. Look at you. You’re meant to be a business person. How many successful designers do you think go about camped up like the entertainment at a low-rent tea dance. LOLA After all I’ve shared with you - you still think I’m wearing this for lack of a pair of trousers? CHARLIE I get it. I understand. All of this fru-fru protects who you really are. I heard you. LOLA You heard nothing. CHARLIE I’m telling you - you don’t have to hide. Once the industry sees your work you’ll be able to stop all this and have a normal life.

85.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA You’re a fool. CHARLIE Am I? I’d wager if we stood side by side and asked passersby which one of us is fooling himself most of the votes would swing your way. Why am I the only one here who believes in you? LOLA You believe in my shoes. I’m not my shoes. CHARLIE No. You’re a joke. You think you’re being all mystical and deep representin’ the best of both sexes but I’m here to tell you all you are is daft. You say you want to be treated like a man; then start acting like one. I’m sorry, but sometimes the truth hurts. LOLA (Roiling with anger) The truth? The truth? We’re done here. LOLA walks away from him. CHARLIE And Simon... That’s right, Simon... When you show up at the airport, try to look something like your passport photo. Yes? For both our sakes. LOLA stares at him, angry, nonplussed, destroyed... SHE fades back and away... PAT chases after LOLA. CHARLIE snatches the resewn boot away from TRISH. CHARLIE (cont’d) This is shite. Do it again. TRISH You’re out of your bloody mind. CHARLIE This is for Milan! TRISH Milan. Milan! You don’t even know what Milan is. You never been there. You’re just guessing. And I’m going home.

86.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE I don’t have to guess to know what’s good. TRISH They’d be good enough for your father. CHARLIE I am not my father. TRISH Truer words were never spoke. Do it again.

CHARLIE

TRISH (staring him down) As the sayin’ goes - you want something done your way... Have at it. (To the other workers) What say we clear out and leave the man from Milan to his stitching. THE WORKERS all begin shutting down their machines and exiting. CHARLIE (Pleading to their backs) We’ve all these samples to make and no time. If you go home now, what have we been working for? Pete? Marge? Trish...? George! George? GEORGE goes out leaving CHARLIE alone. CHARLIE moves about the empty factory... CHARLIE (cont’d) WHO WAS I KIDDING THIS SCHEME WAS SKIDDING MY FRACTURED ATTEMPT AT TAKING CONTROL. I TRIED IN VAIN, NOW I’M TO BLAME NOW I’M LEFT WITH A DEEP DARK HOLE. SO CONFIDENT SO COLLECTED AND SO COOL HEY, LOOK AT ME NOW I’M A FOOL.

87.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE shuts down the factory electrics. And now a rock beat kicks in as HE moves out front of the building where he takes in the PRICE & SON sign.... MUSIC: THE SOUL OF A MAN CHARLIE (cont’d) I'M BAD NEWS A BLACK AND BLUESER WHO’S A LOSERA MERRY GO ROUND’S SPIRALIN’ DOWN I'M ALL USED UP I’M CHAFED AND CHEWED UP WHO'S JUST SCREWED UP THE SAME OLD CHARLIE HITTIN’ THE GROUND ‘CAUSE I'LL NEVER BE THE SOUL OF A MAN NOBLE AND WISE, LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN WHO LIFTED ME HIGH LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN HEROIC AND TRUE LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN THAT I LOOKED UP TO WHAT ELSE COULD I DO? STUPID HUBRIS NO EXCUSES, BLEW MY FUSES I GUESS I'M JUST A RUSE IN MY FATHER'S SHOES NOT AMUSIN’ NO CONFUSIN’ THIS STREAK OF LOOSIN’ TOTALLY BRUTAL AND USELESS TOO

88.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE (cont’d) HOW CAN I BE THE SOUL OF A MAN NOBLE AND WISE, LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN WHO LIFTED ME HIGH LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN HEROIC AND TRUE LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN THAT I LOOKED UP TO WHAT ELSE COULD I -

ENSEMBLE (ME2, ME3, FE2, FE3, A5, A6) SOUL OOH SOUL HIGH SOUL OOH SOUL

OF A MAN OF A MAN OF A MAN OF A MAN TOO

JUST WHEN I'M REACHING FOR THAT RUNG AT THE TOP I'M THAT BROKEN HEEL UNSTEADY AND READY, READY TO DROP CHARLIE (cont’d) WHEN WILL I BE THE SOUL OF A MAN NOBLE AND WISE, LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN WHO LIFTED ME HIGH SOUL OF A MAN HEROIC AND TRUE LIKE THE SOUL OF A MAN WHO I LOOKED UP TO WHAT ELSE COULD I DO? CHARLIE (cont’d) I’LL NEVER BE NO I’LL NEVER BE I HAVE GONE AND LET YOU DOWN OH! SOUL! SOUL OF THE MAN HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR SOUND SAME OLD CHARLIE HITTIN’ THE GROUND

ENSEMBLE SOUL OOH SOUL HIGH SOUL OOH SOUL TOO

OF A MAN OF A MAN OF A MAN OF A MAN

ENSEMBLE SOUL OF A MAN SOUL OF A MAN SOUL OF A MAN SOUL OF A MAN AHH MUSIC ENDS. LAUREN approaches CHARLIE who is sitting on a crate.

CHARLIE (cont’d) Just keep walking. You want no part of this. LAUREN Down, doggie. Like every mutt I’ve ever met, you only growl because you’re scared. CHARLIE Dogs growl to protect something. I got nothing left to growl over.

89.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LAUREN You’re a funny one, Charlie Price. I always took you for a spoiled twit waiting to have the world handed to him. CHARLIE Don’t hand me nothin’ unless you want it destroyed.

Budge up.

LAUREN (Signallying Charlie to make room) LAUREN sits beside CHARLIE.

LAUREN (cont’d) Feelin’ sorry for ourselves? I felt the same way when my dad died. Yeah?

CHARLIE

LAUREN I was so lost. After the funeral, the undertaker handed me a shoe box of his stuff and said “That’s what he left.” And I looked at him and said “No.” (Pointing to herself) “This is what he left.” What a body leaves behind ain’t in his pocket. Sometimes it’s what he inspired in others. Turn around, Charlie. CHARLIE turns and realizes that all of the windows of the factory are now lit. CHARLIE What’s going on? Why’s the factory all lit up? LAUREN Go see for yourself. Puzzled, HE approaches the factory door and opens it. INT. FACTORY: ...inside the WORKERS are back at their machines, busily finishing the boots. CHARLIE faces LAUREN...

90.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE You did this? LAUREN Me? No. Don. Don done it. LAUREN points to DON who salutes CHARLIE with a smile and gets back to work. LAUREN (cont'd) Lola challenged him to accept someone for who they are. I’d say he rather rose to the occasion. CHARLIE So, Don got everyone back to work just by accepting Lola? LAUREN No, Charlie. You. Don accepted you. DON walks up to CHARLIE, an envelope in hand. DON Heard you’re runnin’ low on funds. Last week’s paychecks... HE tears the envelope in half. DON (cont’d) Who needs to eat? DON and CHARLIE share a knowing moment. TRISH, PAT and GEORGE approach CHARLIE nervously carrying a pair of boots. TRISH Here we go, mates. Shall we see what he thinks? Well? CHARLIE lifts the boots, examines them carefully and then a smile creeps over his face and he nods his approval. TRISH (cont’d) My Gawd! The man from Milan says YES!!!! MUSIC: SEX IS IN THE HEEL (Reprise)

91.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 WORKERS LONDON TO MILAN STILLETTOS ARE AN ISM IN RED AND NEON LIFE. GIMME KINKY BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO BOOTS! A cheer rings out from the WORKERS as the set shifts to... EXT. FACTORY - DAY LAUREN and GEORGE take charge of a trolley loaded with shoe boxes and luggage. CHARLIE looks around with deep concern. LAUREN That’s the lot, eh George? We got it all? GEORGE Van should’ve been here by now. Maybe he’s gone around to the loading dock. I’ll check. GEORGE goes off. CHARLIE Lola’s not here. She’s not coming. LAUREN Ring her again. CHARLIE I’ve rung a dozen times. I can’t even get Pat to answer my calls. LAUREN Maybe they’re flying straight from London. would never miss this.

She

CHARLIE After what I said? Looking up the road. LAUREN Ah, here comes the van. I’ll load the boots. You try Lola again. LAUREN leaves. CHARLIE dials. CHARLIE (Into the phone) Hello... Lola. Guess who again. We’re on our way to the airport but there’s a monumental hole where you should be. Which is no surprise. (MORE)

92.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE (cont'd) Whenever you leave a room, there’s always a great big gaping gap. Just how life with you is. Anyway, I want you to know that I don’t blame you for being angry. The way I shot off my yap, I’d walk out on myself if I could. Leave it to me to finally find my passion and use it to hurt someone I love. LOLA is slowly revealed in flowing gown, upstage. CHARLIE (cont'd) But forget me. Forget Milan. Forget the boots and business. What I wanted to say was; if anyone ever tries to tell you you’re something less than a man, you have them see me. If being a man means being brave enough to take on the entire world then you’re the ONLY man I’ve ever known. Certainly the best. You challenged Don to change his mind, but I’m the one who really needed that lesson. MUSIC: HOLD ME IN YOUR HEART (vamp) CHARLIE (cont'd) So, this is Charlie from Northampton telling Simon from Clacton he’s so terribly sorry. Goodbye, Lola. And thank you. HE hangs up the phone. INT. SMALL RECREATION ROOM LOLA steps forward and begins to sing. LOLA YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME ANYMORE YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO ME LAUGH OUT LOUD YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME DANCE YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE THE CHANCE THAT IT MIGHT REFLECT ON YOU YOU MISSED OUT ON THE BEST PART OF ME THE PART THAT MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY. OH, BUT THE BEST PART OF ME IS STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU AND LOVES YOU ANYWAY. HOLD TILL HOLD JUST

ME IN YOUR HEART YOU UNDERSTAND ME IN YOUR HEART THE WAY THAT I AM

93.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 OH, WITH ALL YOUR FAULTS, I LOVE YOU. DON'T GIVE UP ON ME I WON'T GIVE UP ON YOU. WELL, YOU TOOK MY HAND TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE STRONG WELL THAT'S HOW I PICKED UP WHEN WE WENT ALL WRONG. I KNOW THAT I HURT YOU AND YOU HURT ME TOO BUT YOU MEAN MORE TO ME I MUST MEAN MORE TO YOU. HOLD ME IN YOUR HEART 'TIL YOU UNDERSTAND HOLD ME IN YOUR HEART JUST THE WAY THAT I AM. OH, WITH ALL YOUR FAULTS, I LOVE YOU. I NEED YOU TO LOVE ME THAT WAY TOO. The song ends. WE can now see a MAN in a wheelchair wearing an oxygen tube. There’s also a sign that reads “CLACTON NURSING HOME WELCOMES LOLA” LOLA (cont’d) Thank you for welcoming me to your lovely facility. Believe it or not, I grew up just down the road. Anyway, it was my pleasure to come. You are not my usual audience. And I’m probably not your usual entertainment and that is because I am actually... a man. My name is Simon. Thank you for listening. LOLA begins to leave, but then stops, bends down and whispers into the MAN’S ear... LOLA (cont’d) It was good to see you, Daddy. Goodbye. I love you. LOLA stands up straight and proudly walks off as... BACKSTAGE OF THE MILAN SHOE FAIR A RED CURTAIN covers the Milan stage.

94.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 A fastidious STAGE MANAGER, wearing designer platform shoes that she can’t walk in, enters with a clipboard calling out... STAGE MANAGER (FE1) (o.s) Attenzione! Hallo! Peoples, can you hear me? Attenzione! This is multo importante! (onstage) Donatella, che cosa fa questa media “Kinky Boots”? Prego - Can I see the exhibitors from PRICE & SON? CHARLIE’S head pops out from behind a dressing curtain. That’s me.

CHARLIE

STAGE MANAGER (FE1) Aha. And your dressers? That’s me.

CHARLIE

STAGE MANAGER (FE1) Aha. And your models..? Me.

CHARLIE

STAGE MANAGER (FE1) Aha. Then you have everyone you need to proceed. Si? Si! Perfetto. Your presentation begins in due minuti. Inglese pazza! STAGE MANAGER stomps off as LAUREN enters with GEORGE. LAUREN Not a sign of anyone. No one. No one at all. CHARLIE Go out front and sit with George. I want at least two friendly faces in the crowd. LAUREN steps behind the screen to get a peek. LAUREN Charlie, you’re not really going to... (SHE tries to stifle a laugh)

95.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE Shoo! Off with you. Go... LAUREN We’re going. We’re going. LAUREN, smiling widely, takes GEORGE’S arm to lead him away. GEORGE Is he really going to..? LAUREN It appears so. GEORGE Does he look Sexy? To me? Very.

LAUREN GEORGE rushes off as LAUREN is caught in a spot... MUSIC: WRONG GUYS - REPRISE

LAUREN (cont’d) CHARLIE, HONESTLY HOW CAN YOU SURPRISE ME ANYMORE OH, OH, OH LAUREN’S thought is cut off by... MUSIC: RUNWAY MUSIC LIGHTS shift.... FASHION RUNWAY: A RUNWAY appears with a well healed AUDIENCE flanking either side. LAUREN joins GEORGE as the FANFARE starts to play.

LAUREN (to herself) C’mon, Charlie. You can do it.

96.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 And then CHARLIE’s appears. He pulls himself onto the runway: There stands CHARLIE in a shirt, suit jacket and tie. No pants. Just boxers and a pair of bright red mega-high-heeled boots. The MUSIC STOPS. HE steps out onto the runway teetering desperately. HE finally manages to steady himself and stares out at the audience like a deer caught in headlights. HE strikes a seductive pose nearly falling. HE catches himself up and now tries to walk... One step... Two steps... and his feet shoot out from under him as he goes down - splat onto the catwalk. The CROWD gasps. DARKNESS. And then... THE SHOE ALARM rings. LIGHTS catch LOLA, dressed in signature red, at the top of the runway. LOLA Don’t you go thinking it was your sappy phone calls that brought me here. I have come for one thing and one thing only; Adulation! RUNWAY MUSIC EXPLODES LOLA (cont’d) People of the world, Price & Son proudly presents LOLA’S KINKY BOOTS! CHARLIE scoots out of the way as THE ANGELS, one by one, come down the runway modeling the BOOTS as those watching applaud wildly and FLASHBULBS FLASH. LOLA sashays triumphantly down the runway to CHARLIE... CHARLIE Thank you, Lola.

97.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA (cont’d) ONCE I WAS AFRAID BUT THEN YOU CAME ALONG, YOU PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME AND I WAS CHALLENGED TO BE STRONG WHEN I LOST MY WAY YOU WERE THERE TO SEE ME THROUGH NOW LET LOLA LEND SOME LOVE AND DO THE SAME FOR YOU

OOH

ANGELS

LOLA & THE ANGELS FEED YOUR FIRE TO TAKE YOU HIGHER WE'LL LIGHT YOU UP LIKE A LIVE WIRE CELEBRATE YOU TO ELEVATE YOU WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO STAND WELL TAKE A HELPING HAND LOLA IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP AND UP RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP!

ANGELS IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP

ANGELS

CHARLIE struggles to his feet with help from LOLA... CHARLIE NEVER PUT MUCH HEART IN ANYTHING BEFORE YOU STRUT INTO MY LIFE AND HELP ME GO FOR SOMETHING MORE CHARLIE (cont’d) NOW I STAND UP FOR MYSELF NOW I STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD NOW I'M STANDING ON HIGH HEELS IF MY DAD COULD SEE ME NOW

OOH

ANGELS

OOH

THE CELEBRATION continues.

98.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 CHARLIE, LOLA & ANGELS FEED YOUR FIRE TO TAKE YOU HIGHER WE'LL LIGHT YOU UP LIKE A LIVE WIRE CELEBRATE YOU TO ELEVATE YOU WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO STAND WELL TAKE A HELPING HAND CHARLIE & LOLA IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP AND UP HOO RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP! HOO RAISE YOU UP!

ANGELS IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP

ANGELS

LAUREN dances up to CHARLIE. LAUREN I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU I KNEW WHAT YOU COULD DO CHARLIE YOU BELIEVED IN ME LET ME BE RIGHT FOR YOU. LAUREN YOUR STUMBLING DAYS ARE DONE NOW WE’RE WALKING ON AIR

OOH

CHARLIE I WAS A LOOSE SHOE BUT YOU NEED TWO TO MAKE A PAIR.

OOH

ANGELS

ANGELS

LAUREN cuts off the music. EVERYONE stops as she faces off with CHARLIE... LAUREN Hold it right there, buster. Are you saying you’d like to take me out? Yes.

CHARLIE

99.


100.

LAUREN You saying you and Nicola are through? Yes.

CHARLIE

LAUREN You saying you’re actually available? Yes.

CHARLIE

LAUREN And you still like girls? Yes.

CHARLIE LAUREN plants a big fat kiss on CHARLIE.

Carry on!

LAUREN THE MUSIC EXPLODES right where it had left.

CHARLIE, LOLA, LAUREN & ANGELS FEED YOUR FIRE TO TAKE YOU HIGHER WE'LL LIGHT YOU UP LIKE A LIVE WIRE CELEBRATE YOU TO ELEVATE YOU WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO STAND WE’LL TAKE A HELPING HAND DON appears and takes center stage now. HE sports a pair of the RED BOOTS. DON LOOK OUT MILAN HERE COMES DON AND DON HAS BROUGHT SOME FRIENDS ALONG WHEN YOU’RE STUCK INSIDE UNCERTAINTY THE ONES YOU LOVE CAN SET YOU FREE YEAH! The stage is flooded with all of the FACTORY WORKERS who appear in boots, happily modeling their product for the audience.


101.

ALL FEED YOUR FIRE TO TAKE YOU HIGHER WE'LL LIGHT YOU UP LIKE A LIVE WIRE CELEBRATE YOU TO ELEVATE YOU WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO STAND WELL TAKE A HELPING HAND IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP AND UP RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP!

ANGELS

ALL IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP AND UP RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP! RAISE YOU UP!

ANGELS

ANGELS & WORKERS

LAUREN, NICOLA, LOLA, CHARLIE, DON & GEORGE JUST BE RAISE YOU UP

ANGELS & WORKERS RAISE YOU UP RAISE YOU UP The MUSIC changes mood... The lights shift... YOUNG CHARLIE and YOUNG LOLA enter as do MR PRICE and SIMON, SR. The BOYS run into their fathers’ loving embraces as CHARLIE and LOLA watch.

© 2013 by H.Fierstein. KINKY - B'way Final 3/29/13 LOLA WE’RE THE SAME, CHARLIE BOY YOU AND ME

102.

ALL OOH With a last look, the FATHERS and SONS leave the stage. CHARLIE and LOLA hug! The MUSIC morphs again into... MUSIC: JUST BE.

ALL JUST BE WHO YOU WANNA BE NEVER LET ‘EM TELL YOU WHO YOU OUGHT TO BE JUST BE WITH DIGNITY CELEBRATE YOURSELF TRIUMPHANTLY YOU’LL SEE, YOU’LL SEE JUST BE, JUST BE CHARLIE and LOLA step forward as a team... Ladies... Gentlemen...

LOLA CHARLIE

LOLA & CHARLIE ...and those who have yet to make up their minds. CHARLIE As customers all over the world clamor for Kinky Boots... The COMPANY cheers. CHARLIE (cont’d) ...it’s time for us to get back to our factory. But before we go, we’d like to leave you with the “Price & Simon” secret to success. LOLA You’ve all heard of the Twelve Step program. Well, whatever you can do in twelve, we can do in six. And it goes like this:


ONE: PURSUE THE TRUTH. TWO:

ALL PAT ALL

TRISH LEARN SOMETHING NEW. THREE:

ALL

NICOLA ACCEPT YOURSELF AND YOU’LL ACCEPT OTHERS TOO. FOUR: LET LOVE SHINE. FIVE:

ALL LAUREN ALL

CHARLIE LET PRIDE BE YOUR GUIDE. SIX:

ALL

DON YOU CHANGE THE WORLD WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. ALL JUST BE WHO YOU WANNA BE NEVER LET ‘EM TELL YOU WHO YOU OUGHT TO BE. JUST BE WITH DIGNITY CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE TRIUMPHANTLY The COMPANY move downstage and join together...

103.


YOU’LL SEE YOU’LL SEE JUST BE JUST BE

ALL MEN

ALL WOMEN IT’S BEAUTIFUL IT’S BEAUTIFUL IT’S BEAUTIFUL

YOU’LL SEE YOU’LL SEE JUST BE JUST BE BEAUTIFUL!

IT’S BEAUTIFUL IT’S BEAUTIFUL IT’S BEAUTIFUL ALL (cont’d) MUSIC ENDS TRIUMPHANTLY. BOWS.

ALL (cont’d) FEED YOUR FIRE TO TAKE YOU HIGHER WE'LL LIGHT YOU UP LIKE A LIVE WIRE CELEBRATE YOU TO ELEVATE YOU WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO STAND WELL TAKE A HELPING HAND IF YOU HIT THE DUST LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR BUBBLE BUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP WHEN YOUR GLITTER RUSTS LET ME RAISE YOU UP AND RAISE YOU UP AND UP AND UP AND UP! The HAPPY ENDING.

104.

Boots Musical

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