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Attention: Do Not Read This Book Unless You Have Already Read the Main "Pull Your Ex Bak" Manual!
All rights reserved. Copyright © Ryan Hall and PullYourExBack.com o part o! this "ook may "e reproduced or transmitted in any !orm !orm or "y any means# means# electrical electrical or mechanical# including photocopying and recording# or "y any in!ormation storage or retrieval system $ithout permission in $riting !rom the author. %isclaimer& 'his "ook is $ritten !or in!ormational purposes only. 'he author has made every e!!ort to make sure the in!ormation is complete and accurate. All attempts have "een made to veri!y in!ormation at the time o! this pu"lication and the authors do not assume any responsi"ility !or errors# omissions# or other interpretations o! the su"(ect matter. 'he pu"lisher and author shall have neither lia"ility nor responsi"ility responsi"il ity to any person or entity $ith respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to "e caused directly or indirectly "y this "ook.
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TABE #$ %#NTENT& Chapter #1 How To Get Your Ex To Do Anything......................................... 7 Chapter #2 How To Make Your Partner Forgive You For Almost Anything..................... Anything.......................................... .................................... ............... 12 Chapter #3 How To To Get G et Your Your Partner Partne r To To Give G ive A Yes Yes Resonse Reson se For Almost Anything........................ Anything............................................ ........................................ .................... 16 Chapter #4 The !ittle "nown "no wn Dirty Dirt y Tri#ks................................. Tri#ks................................................... .................. 19 Chapter #5 The Power o$ %o#ial Proo$........................................... Proo$....................................................... ............ 22 Chapter #6 How To Get a Date &ith Your Ex Even '$ They Are Relu#tant..................... Relu#tant......................................... ........................................ ...................... .. 26 Chapter #7 How To Get Your Ex To Return Your Phone (alls................... 33 Chapter #8 The )ote o$ !ast ! ast Hoe........................................................ Hoe............................................................ .... 37
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A $riendly 'arnin()
A very common )uestion * received !rom most o! my !riends and !amily regarding this "ook $as...+hy Am * sharing this in!ormation, in!ormation, +hat i! it gets misused, -oreover# * al$ays ans$er it "y saying *t is a part o! our li!e...+e can try to deny it...But it/s still a !act. Human psychology is involved in our daytoday li!e...Consider a child $ho cries every time he0she is told 123 !or something. something. *n most cases# crying o!ten gets the child $hat he desires...+ith desires...+ith time the child learns that the "est $ay to get his desire !ul!illed is crying. o$ one can say that the child is trying to manipulate his parents via crying. But do people say that, 24 'hey all kno$ that it/s a part o! the child/s gro$ing up process.
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'he !act o! the matter is all the ne$s media# Politicians# Businesses and even everyday people use some !orm o! psychological trickery in daytoday li!e. 'here is nothing evil a"out it...As long as you use it !or !air means. * consider it a $ay o! making li!e easier. 5till let me strongly $arn you "e!ore $e get started.... 'he $ords you are a"out to read might give you the ultimate po$er to control people...Yes that/s right4 You $ill "e a"le to control anyone to your $ay o! thinking. -any people call it mind control and that can "e a "it !rightening...But * call it e!!ective persuasion. * have al$ays "een curious to kno$ $hy people do $hat they do...+hat !actors drive them to$ards doing certain things and not do certain things. 'he !act is that all humans take action "ased on the $ay they !eel and not "ased on $hat they think and decide. 'hey al$ays think...'ry to decide and get a !eeling. -oreover# the !eeling is $hat either drives them to$ards or a$ay !rom a certain goal. +ith e!!ective persuasion skills you can easily get your ex "ack# turn enemies into !riends# easily land a dream (o"# change opinions# make anyone like you# change o"(ections into acceptance...and even control people...Yup4 * said it again. You can control people $ith this stu!!. o$# * am 2' suggesting you should use it to control
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people. * am simply pointing out the possi"ilities and $hat it can really do !or you. But let me also point out that any $rong use o! this can actually "ack!ire...'his stu!! is like !ire...*t can "e used to cook your !ood and can also "e used to cook you. 'here!ore# "e very care!ul. 'he only reason * am sharing this stu!! $ith you is "ecause * kno$ that re(ection or "reakup is a stress!ul# !rustrating process to go through# and can "e very distur"ing. * have "een through $hat you are going through and * understand that an extra e!!ort is needed to save a relationship in some cases... 'here!ore * expect you to use this $isely and only $hen needed. o$ * leave it on you...5o let/s get to it.
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"People don't care how much you know--until they know how much you care." -John C. Maxwell
%o you kno$ that the ma(ority o! the decisions made "y people are "ased on emotions, +hy do you think people stick to their ha"its o! drinking and smoking $hen they already kno$ it might kill them, +hy do you think an o"ese person keeps on overeating $hen he already kno$s he is o"ese, +hy do you think some people al$ays end up doing the exact opposite o! $hat/s needed to "e done $hen they already kno$ $hat the right thing to do is, *! one $as to !ollo$ common logic doing any o! the a"ove $ill only lead to massive pain. But people don/t !ollo$ logic at all times...'hey al$ays get driven "y the $ay they !eel...'his is the reason $hy 6* don/t !eel like it6 2r 6* !eel like doing it6 are some o! the most commonly used lines. 'here are only t$o types o! !eelings humans tend to experience regularly...'he 722% and the BA%. Humans have a natural tendency to do more o! anything that makes them !eel 6722%6 and less o! anything that makes them !eel 6BA%6. 5o simply put the reason $hy your ex le!t you $as "ecause
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most o! your acts gave "irth to those "ad negative !eelings $hich they struggled to deal $ith. And $ith time these !eelings tend to get anchored....Here is an example 8ohn goes to $ork everyday...%oes his "est at the (o"...But his "oss is still not happy. 8ohn/s "oss pushes him to do "etter every single day...Constantly $arns him that he might "e !ired i! his per!ormance doesn/t improve. 5o $hat does this do to 8ohn, 9et/s get into 8ohn/s head and see ho$ he looks at this $hole scenario. *ohn Oh Heck! It' Monday...I'll hae to o to work aain! Oh #oy! My $o i %ut too hard to handle...I don't know how I will manae today. 5o you see the pattern here, +henever (ohn thinks a"out his Boss# he experiences high levels o! anxiety and !ear# $hich are negative !eelings.
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9et/s take another example Cindy is !rustrated at 8e!! "ecause he al$ays comes "ack late a!ter $ork...5he !eels 8e!! is not spending enough time $ith her...5o she decides to call 8e!! at $ork. %indy Hey! It' me...&re you oin to $e late aain today *e++ I hae a lot o( work here...I am not ure. %indy )hi i what you ay eeryday...I know you will neer chane. *e++ *on't you undertand I hae work to do I make money o that we can hae a com(orta$le li(e...+ou %ut don't know how to appreciate my hard work do you %indy Oh Je((! +ou are %ut too (ocued on yourel(...It' alway a$out you in't it *e++ I don't hae time (or thi...I hae to o. #ye! Every single time Cindy $ould call 8e!! at $ork...8e!! $ould kno$ she is going to nag him and he $ould associate pain to the event. 'here!ore# in other $ords...:rom 8e!!;s point o! vie$...
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%o you understand $here * am going $ith this, 8e!! $ould try to avoid Cindy;s calls as much as possi"le "ecause he has anchored negative !eelings to the event. o$ let/s take this same example and do it the right $ay... %indy Hey! It' me...,orry i( I ditur$ed you...#ut I wa %ut miin you and wanted to talk. *e++ Oh Honey! I am o orry...I know I hae $een comin home late reularly...I know I haen't $een keepin my promie. %indy o o! I know it' real hard (or you with all the increaed work preure...I know you are doin it o that $oth o( u can hae a com(orta$le li(e. *e++ I am really lucky to hae uch an undertandin wi(e...I think I can leae early today...et' o (or a lon drie.
%indy o it i ok! I %ut called to ee how you were doin. I am really lucky to hae uch a hardworkin hu$and who care o much a$out me. *e++ *on't worry! I can take an early leae today. I'll $e home $y /...#e ready...0e are oin out today! %indy Ok! ,ee you oon. #ye. %o you see the di!!erence, 'his is $hat * call giving them the 6,i+t o+ ,ood $eelin(s6. -ost individuals tend to give their partners the 6Burden o+ Bad +eelin(s6 instead o! the 6,i+t o+ ,ood $eelin(s6.
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✓
Emotions & Feelings are the foundations of action.
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Alter your actions to give your partner the gift of good feelings.
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Look at the situation from your partner's point of view.
Show
them that you understand what they are going through.
Appreciate Show
their efforts...Even if it's a small effort.
them that you don't expect anything in return.
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2ne o! the most common )uestions * get !rom my readers is 6Ho- an . (et hi/0her 1ak i+ . heated26 +ell in order to get started you must again look at the $hole situation !rom your ex/s point o! vie$...Your ex must "e !eeling <=> Hurt Because you cheated. Used Because they never kne$ you $ere doing it "ehind their "ack $ith another partner. <@> Re3eted By cheating you have indirectly re(ected them. 2nce again# the !eelings o! "eing hurt# used and re(ected !all into the category o! "ad negative !eelings. 'here!ore in order to make them !orgive you...You must turn this situation !rom Bad to 2k to "etter to good. 5o it $orks in stages BAD4 #54 BETTER 4,##D &te6 7) You /ust ae6t that you /ade a /istake A lot o! people try to deny even $hen they have "een caught redhanded in the act o! cheating. 'here!ore# the very !irst step is to admit to your mistake. &te6 8) &ho- your ex that you understand ho- they +eel A ma(or reason $hy some people never get !orgiven is "ecause they !ail to ackno$ledge ho$ their ex !eels. You must express that you understand you have hurt them...'his can "e done "y saying
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1+ou mut $e (eelin o $ad $ecaue o( me...2 At this# they $ould either say...6Yes * am very hurt6 or 6Yes * am upset6. o matter $hat response you might get...You should still move on to the next step. &te6 9) Take o/6lete res6onsi1ility +or your +ault 'his is the step $here your ex $ould promote !rom stage = o! !eeling 6BA%6 to stage ? !eeling 626.
Here is $hat you should say "It' all my (ault...My tupidity ha caued o much pain to you..." &te6 ) &ho- the/ that you are su++erin( too 'his is the point $here your ex $ould shi!t !rom the stage o! !eeling 626 to !eeling 6Better6 "ecause no$ you $ill sho$ them that you are hurt too. *! you $ere in a car accident and the driver $ho hit you su!!ered in(uries as $ell...Your anger $ould automatically "e diminished. You $ould "e angrier i! the o!!ender $alked a$ay $ithout any in(uries...As long as you kno$ the o!!ender is hurt...You $ill not react much "ecause you kno$ they su!!ered !or their mistake. 5imilarly...You have to sho$ your ex that you did not get any pleasure out o! this $hole deal...You $ere hurt too. Here is $hat you should say 1I hae $een (eelin o uilty a(ter what I did...I am totally diuted with myel(...How could I hurt omeone I
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loed....2 &te6 ;) .t -asn
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next !e$ days. *t gives them the re)uired space to rethink the $hole situation and increases your chances o! "eing !orgiven.
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our focus should !e to pull your ex out of the !ad or negative state of mind into a good or highly positive state of mind. ✓
Admitting to your mistakes is the !est defence under this situation.
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Act as if you are ready to accept any conse"uences or punishments.
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#rove that you have not gained anything out of your actions.
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Assure your partner with solid evidence that such an act will never !e repeated in the future. ✓
Show them that you have suffered tremendously due to your actions.
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%o you kno$ that people normally tend to do $hat you expect them to do, 'hey al$ays try to live up to other people/s E>PE%TAT.#N&. 5o the method * am going to share $ith you is pretty simple yet po$er!ul...All you need is to !orm an expectation and your partner $ill do everything in his0her po$er to live up to it. :or example 8en !ears that 7ary might cheat on her some day...5o she indirectly communicated to 7ary that she expects him 62' '2 CHEA'6. 'his is ho$ she sealed the deal... *en +ou remem$er my old (riend (rom collee3 &my ,ary +eh! 0hat a$out her *en Her hu$and cheated on her. ,ary Oh! #ut why *en *on't know...It didn't eem like her hu$and wa that kind...#ut who know nowaday. ,ary Hmmm. *en +ou know what I am really lucky to hae you a my hu$and...I know you hae a ery tron peronality and you will neer do uch a thin to me...4en i( ome irl %ump on you.
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,ary Honey! I can't een think a$out doin uch a thin. I ery happy to hae you a my wi(e a well. 5o you see the pattern here, 8en dropped a seed o! expectation in 7ary/s mind and no$ even the thought o! cheating $ould make 7ary think t$ice. 8en !ormed an expectation and 7ary $ill have to !ollo$ through. 5imilarly# you can apply this same techni)ue to your relationship in other $ays...9et/s take another example. Beena $ants Ben to "uy her a nice expensive gi!t !or her "irthday... Ben ,o your $irthday i %ut around the corner5&re you excited Beena +eh! 6ery excited...&ctually I am lookin (orward to it...#ecaue each year you hae a ery $i urprie lined up (or me. #ut you alway end up pendin too much...I don't want you to pend o much. Ben Oh #a$y! I can do that much (or the loe o( my li(e...Can't I Beena 0ell...I know you...o matter what I ay you will till hae a $i urprie lined up (or me. 5o Beena !ormed up this expectation that it is going to "e something "ig this year as $ell...+hich $ould su"consciously !orce Ben to arrange something "ig. 'his is $here he $ould make sure he over delivers "ecause Beena has an expectation. 'his techni)ue $orks e)ually $ell in other areas o! li!e as $ell.
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#eople always do what they are expected to do.
#eople
will always follow through on an expectation as long as you clearly specify in advance what you expect from them. Always
give examples of how other people screwed up in the same situation. $iving such examples will increase your partner's level of commitment to your expectation. %ue to which they are more likely to follow through with it.
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2k o$4 'his is the chapter $here * am going to reveal all the dirty little tricks you can use right a$ay to get your ex "ack or stop a "reakup. But "e!ore $e move on to it let me $arn you once again...* do not take any responsi"ility !or these. You $ill "e using these at your o$n risk. Ho$ever# one thing is !or certain...'hese tricks are damn e!!ective they $ork surprisingly $ell. Ready, 9et/s get to it.
Dirty ittle Trik 7)
'his is $hat * discovered "y accident...* $as sending an 5-5 to one o! my !riends "ut * ended up sending it to another num"er right "elo$ my !riends num"er on my phone "ook. 'hat $as a "ig 6AHA6 moment and * realiDed that this can "e success!ully used to get one/s ex "ack or stop a "reakup. 5o this is $hat you should do...5end the !ollo$ing 5-5 to your ex "+eh! It wa o much (un...,o you are pickin me up toniht riht" A!ter reading this# your ex $ill pro"a"ly send you a text "ack asking $hat are you talking a"out,
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'his is $here you should text them "ack saying "Oh! ,orry...)hat wa meant (or omeone ele3 $ut your name i riht $elow that peron' name in the phone $ook. I ent it to you $y mitake." Your ex $ill instantly get (ealous and $ould start !earing that you are dating someone else...and $ould !reak out thinking may"e you have moved on. 'heir insecurities $ould "e triggered. 'hey $ould $ant to kno$ more and they $ould start desiring you again.
Here is ho- you an use this trik) ✓You
an use this i+ your ex is o/6letely tryin( to avoid you and is not ans-erin( your alls! ✓%an
1e used as a onversation o6ener i+ you haven
1e used to /ake your ex instantly desire you even i+ they are tryin( to avoid you! ✓.t
an 1e used as a 3ealousy tati to /ake your ex -ant you a(ain!
Dirty ittle Trik 8)
*! you have -yspace# :ace"ook or any other social pro!ile online make sure you add as many people as possi"le. 'he trick here# is to increase the amount o! people on your !riend/s list $ho are o! the opposite gender. 'ake things even !urther# "y getting pictures $ith ne$ people in highly social environments upload it to your pro!ile. 'he more you appear to "e around ne$ people o!
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the opposite gender# especially in photos# the more proo! you give your ex that you already have a lot o! people around you. 'his $ill trigger your ex/s insecurity and he0she $ill start thinking that may"e you have already moved on and your li!e is no$ "etter than $hat it used to "e...5o in a $ay they $ould !eel you are happier $ithout them. Also "y getting pictures in social environments they $ould start thinking that you are dating again and $ould !ear that they are a"out to lose you.
Dirty ittle Trik 9) You should use this trick $hen your ex is not completely avoiding you "ut at the same time isn/t sho$ing much interest. 'his $ould $ork very $ell on the phone# email# messenger or even 5-5. +hile in conversation $ith your ex...You should ask them the !ollo$ing )uestion "0here hould one o on a (irt date" 8ust ask them the )uestion...And let them ans$er. Your ex $ill de!initely ask you $hy you are asking or the reason $hy you $ant to kno$, At this (ust tell them that you (ust $ant to kno$ and act real excited...But don/t tell them anything. 'his is another rare (ealousy tactic $here your ex might !ear that may"e you are dating again. * am sure you are all excited right no$ "ut "e very care!ul $ith these tricks...2nly use them $hen you a"solutely need them see no other option.
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5o $hat exactly is social proo!, *n the most simplest terms# humans naturally tend to do $hat other people are doing. Here is an example A set o! ? students $ere made to sit in a classroom and all o! them $ere given a general survey $ith ? choices namely A B. =F o! those students $ere asked to choose A on purpose. Each person $as asked the )uestion one "y one and =F people chose option A as they $ere toldG7uess $hat the rest o! the three people did, 'hey chose A as $ell. But $hy, 5imply "ecause humans tend to think in groups. 'hey al$ays tend to trust social sources more than they trust their o$n logical and rational thinking. o$ consider thisGYou are sitting in a movie theatre and all o! a sudden# you see a group o! people rushing outG 5omeone thinks that the "uilding is on !ire. +hat $ould you do, You $ould rush out too. +hy, Because you think# the "uilding must "e on !ire $hen all these people are running out. 'hen you get outside (ust to realiDe that it $as a prank played "y someone.
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You can see similar examples in the marketing $orldG +hen apple came out $ith the mp@ player named *pod it )uickly took the $orld "y storm. +hat $as so special a"out it, *t $as (ust a simple mp@ player. 5omething that most people had in their cell phones any$ay. Apple $as smart enough to integrate social proo! in their marketing campaigns# due to $hich it created mass in!luence# and as a result everyone $as "uying it. -oreover# $hy $ere they "uying it, Because their !riends $ere "uying it...And you had to have it since your !riends had it too. o$ you might "e thinking ok * understand all this "ut ho$ exactly $ould this help me get my ex "ack, Put it this $ayGYour ex $ill never "e convinced as long as you keep on telling them that you have changed. 'hey (ust $ouldn;t "elieve you "ecause they have su"consciously accepted the !act that you might "e saying it (ust to get them "ack. But $hat i! one o! your !riends says it, %o you kno$ that your ex $ill "elieve it instantly "ecause the in!ormation is coming !rom a third source, %o you see ho$ social proo! is involved here, Your ex $ould think Hey4 *! he sa$ it then it must "e true. You can easily get a !riend# !amily mem"er or any other person to plant a seed o! curiosity in your ex;s mind. Here is ho$ to do thisG7et one o! your !riend;s to say any o! the !ollo$ing statements in the presence o! your exG
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1I poke to 7+our ame8 yeterday5He look o much $etter now. I don9t know what he ha done $ut he eem to $e ettin youner $y the day.2
1* sa$ the other dayGHe had this super hot girl next to himG5eems like he is dating again.3
Oh my od! *id you ee 7+our ame8 lately ,he ha lot o much weiht. ,he look o pretty now.
0hat9 oin on with 7+our ame85,he eem o happy now. ,he neer ued to $e thi way $e(ore5I think he i hain a lot more (un lately.
%o you get $hat * am trying to convey hereG5tatements like these said "y one o! your mutual !riends $ould plant a strong seed o! curiosity and your ex $ill get extra eager to kno$ more a"out your li!e. And this goes "eyond (ust social proo!G'here are more reasons $hy this $ould have an extra impactG ✓ *t;s
coming !rom a third source $hich $ould "e more trust$orthy. ✓ o$
they kno$ you have changed "ut they can;t "e a part o! your ne$ good li!e $hich $ould only raise their level o! desperation. ✓ 'hey
$ould !ear that they might not "e good enough !or you anymore "ecause you have this ne$ personality and they don;t kno$ i! they $ould measure up to your ne$ standards. ✓ 'hey
$ould !ear that may"e someone ne$ came into your li!e $hich led to this changeG'his $ould !urther
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increase their $orries that you might move on. ✓ Your
ex $ill constantly "other your !riend !or crum"s o! ne$s !rom your ne$ li!e. ✓ 'hey
$ill $ant to kno$ i! you are still interested in them or i! you have really moved on. ✓ Eventually
they $ould end up contacting you (ust to settle their curiosity.
✓
nly do this with the friends that are trustworthy. here is a possi!ility that your friend might give away your secret therefore choose the right person for this. (eep
the compliments !elieva!le. Ask your friend not to say anything that might come across as fishy.
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'here might "e times $hen your ex might not sho$ the kind o! interest you $ere expecting them to sho$. *n such casesG-ost people lose hope and )uit. 'his is $here some situational understanding is re)uired. * get many mails !rom my readers telling me that their ex re!used to go out and * al$ays respond "y saying Your ex $asn;t emotionally motivated to take action. -oreover# that is directly related to $hat you said and ho$ you said it. You see $hat you said or the $ay you said it (ust $asn;t po$er!ul enough to get your ex to take actionG%ue to $hich your proposal $as turned do$n. *n order to get your ex to take action you must !irst understand ho$ this $hole process $orks.
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5o your $ords $ill plant a thought in your ex/s mindG +hich $ould eventually give your ex a !eelings $hich $ould "e positive or negative and "ased on that your ex $ould take action. *magine you get the ne$s that you $on a million dollar lottery, +hat $ould "e your immediate reaction, You $ill "e "lasting $ith (oy and $ould race over to the lottery o!!ice to collect your money. 2n the other hand imagine "eing called "y one o! your !riends $ho al$ays $ants money !rom youG+ould you avoid his0her call, *! yes $hy, You see the di!!erence "et$een the a"ove t$o cases is )uite simpleG'he events that took place led to a thought in your mind that got trans!ormed into negative or positive !eelings "ased on $hich you took the appropriate action. Positive !eelings al$ays drive the person to$ards taking action and negative !eelings al$ays drive the person to$ards inaction. *n order to get your ex to take action all you need to do is make sure that at the end o! your interaction your ex is !ull o! positive !eelings $hich $ould drive him0her to give a yes response to your re)uest. 'he "est $ay to do this is to use everything $hich $ould evoke positive !eelings in your ex;s mind.
The Deadline Trik) 7iving deadlines is kno$n to "e one o! the strongest psychological tricks everG*n !act this trick $orks so $ell
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that your ex $ould !ind no excuses or reasons to re!use. 5everal studies sho$ that human "eings don;t like to "e restrictedG'hey do not like it i! they are told they can not have something. All you need to do here is (ust tell your ex that you are leaving the city and you $ant to meet them "e!ore you go. By letting them kno$ you are a"out to leave# You are already shutting a "ig door on themG%ue to $hich they $ill !ear that they may not see you again or this might "e the last time. 'his $ould "e a great incentive !or them to take action no$GBecause they kno$ they $on/t get another chance to act in the !uture.
The %uriosity Builder Trik) Humans $ant instant grati!icationG'hey don;t like to $ait. 'ake !or instance# ho$ people get into de"t. People end up $ith de"t# simply "ecause they spend the money they don/t have to "uy the things they think they need. 5o $hat does this all "oil do$n to, People aren/t patient enough to $ait till tomorro$. 'hat/s $hy they pay @ extra as interest on the loan they took to "uy a ne$ car right a$ay instead o! $aiting till the time they have saved enough money to "uy it. 'hey might get into huge de"ts due to this "ut they still do it "ecause they $ant instant grati!ication. +hen people are told that they can;t have it no$G*t
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invokes a very strong psychological motivation to get it. +e see an example o! this in many 'I dramas $here a secret is (ust a"out to "e revealedG+here all o! a suddenGA message pops up )o $e continued5
o$ you might hate the !act that you have to $ait till tomorro$ to discover the rest o! the story "ut it $ill give you enough emotional charge and curiosity that you $ill de!initely tune in the very next day too. 5imilarly you can use this same techni)ue on your exG -ake up an interesting story and get your ex curious. 2nce you see your ex is "uilding interestGPause and sayG 1Oh! I totally (orot5I need to ruh. It9 a lon tory! 0e can9t do thi on the phone5How a$out co((ee thi :riday2 2r another $ay o! doing this $ould "e to tell your ex that something amaDing has happened in your li!e and you are having an a"solute "lastG5ay something along the lines o! 1,o many ama;in thin hae $een oin on in my li(e5I would loe to hare it with you5It9 a lon tory o we can9t do it on the phone. How a$out we meet at xy; place2 All the a"ove statements $ould evoke strong positive curiosity and intent due to $hich your ex $ill "e !orced to take a!!irmative action.
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The 9rd 6erson trik) 'here might "e times $hen your ex $ould "e reluctant to meet you oneonone. Jnder these cases it;s al$ays "est to ask one o! your mutual !riends to (oin the meeting. +hile in conversation $ith your ex drop in this line 2hG5andy $ants you to come to this ne$ place this $eekend. 5he specially asked me to call youG%o you $ant to come, Having a @rd person in the meeting $ould "e a lot less threatening to your ex and the chances o! getting a yes increase. You can either plan this $ith your mutual !riend and tell him0her to leave early $here you and your ex can get some privacy or you can isolate your ex during the meeting $here you $ould get a shot to discuss !urther things.
The Ex6etations trik)
'his trick $orks extremely $ell i! your ex has good relations $ith your !amily. Your ex can easily re!use you "ut $ould !ind it very hard to turn do$n a re)uest made "y your !amily. A good $ay to use this trick is to let your ex kno$ that your mother or dad $ants to meet him or you can use a !amily !unction excuse. You can say that it;s a !amily mem"ers "irthday and your mother expects your ex to come to the event.
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'he reason $hy this trick is e!!ective is "ecause most people have this positive impression on their partners parentsGAnd to save this positive impression they $ould !ollo$ through $ith the re)uest.
Make it extra easy) Humans are laDy "y natureG+e "elieve in taking shortcuts. People don;t $ant to do things themselvesG'hey $ould rather have everything ready made. Your ex $ill never take positive action unless you make it extremely easy !or them. %o it in a $ay that your ex $ill have to make minimal or no e!!ort at all. :or example %o not choose a meeting point $hich is too !ar !rom $here your ex lives instead choose a meeting point your ex likes and also Choose a day $hich !its into your ex;s schedule. 'he easier it is the lesser o"(ections your ex $ould have in meeting you.
&eal the deal tati) *! your ex made a commitment to$ards meeting you it does not mean that they $ill actually meet you. 'hey might come up $ith last minute o"(ections and decide to cancel on the day o! meeting. A great $ay to ensure this does not happen is to let them kno$ that you have put o!! other important tasks (ust to meet them. :or example 'ell them that you $ill take some time o!! $orkG%elay an important task or cancel a crucial
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meeting (ust to see them. 'his $ay everytime your ex $ill think a"out coming up $ith an o"(ection he0she $ould get this emotional "lock o! distur"anceG%ue to $hich they $ould !eel guilty and $ill smoothly !ollo$ through $ith their commitment.
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2ne o! the ma(or reasons $hy your ex might not "e returning your phone calls may "e due to the !act that you are doing everything $hich is triggering negative thoughts in their mind. +e have already discussed in the !irst chapter ho$ humans react positively to the gi!t o! good !eelings and negatively to the "urden o! "ad !eelings. 'here!ore i! you have not succeeded in getting your ex to return your phone calls so !ar then you have de!initely "een "urdening them $ith "ad !eelings. 'he most common mistake people make is trying to !orce their ex in some $ay or the other to return their calls. :or example John…Please call me…It’s an emergency.
Jen…I am missing you so much. Please call me back.
You see such approaches do not $ork as your ex !eels the extra "urden and $ill only end up getting annoyed i! you keep on leaving them message a!ter message $hich people normally do. You see the key to getting your calls returned is to appeal to t$o elements namely Curiosity and positivity.
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You $ill have to make your ex curious in a positive manner i! you $ant your phone calls returned and the "est $ay to do this is to leave a highly positive message $hich involves an incentive !or your ex. Here is a sample message
*i kate+,t-s me ohn. ust wanted to let you know that you have helped me transform into a totally new person. ou might not know this !ut indirectly you have helped me in more ways than you can reali/e. , truly appreciate what you did for me. #lease give me a call when you get !ack , would like to personally thank you.
+ith this message you are not only "uilding curiosity "ut also giving your ex the gi!t o! good !eelings "y appreciating them !or $hat they did. You see this message is clearly stating it;s core purpose and its not one o! those needy or desperate messages $hich $ould only annoy or make your ex $orry. But there are some things you still need to take into accountG. Make sure your /essa(e is not on+usin(!!! 7enerating curiosity has nothing to do $ith con!using the person in this caseGAl$ays send messages $hich clearly de!ine their purpose. 'he last thing you $ant in this situation is !or your ex to "e con!used as once they realiDe you are trying gimmicks on them they $ould instantly go "ack to the de!ensive mode and you $ill "e avoided more than ever "e!ore.
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-ake sure you do not leave any con!using messages such asG Oh My
Make it lear that you have so/ethin( (ood in store +or the/!!! 'his goes "ack to the same concept o! giving them the gi!t o! good !eelingsGAs a kid my !ather called me !rom $ork one dayG'elling me he has a "ig surprise in store !or me that evening. 5ince * heard there $as something exciting on the $ayG* $as positively curious all day to kno$ $hat it $as. * (ust couldn;t $ait !or my dad to get "ack home and tell me $hat it $as. You see it $as clearly stated in his message that he has something good !or meG'here!ore you need to do the same. You $ill have to let your ex kno$ that you $ant to thank them !or something they did as it $ill positively charge them to return your call.
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our
message should communicate that you don't need anything from your ex...0ather you 1ust want to thank them. his will instantly force your ex to put their defences down. 2o
matter how interesting the message is unless you make it clear it won't get you the desired result. 3ake
sure you do not sound desperate while recording the message...he way you say it also counts. %o
not leave more than one message...Sending several messages will only work against you.
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'here are times in li!e $hen no matter $hat you do things (ust don;t go your $ayG'he same might "e true $hen it comes to getting your ex "ack. *t might seem that there is no chance and things might not "e in your !avor. But there is a stunning techni)ue $hich $ill turn the ta"les $ithin seconds. A su!i poet once said *! all doors close "e!ore youGA secret one $ill open $hich $ill sho$ you a secret $ay no other eyes have ever seen. 'his is $here my note o! last hope comes inGo matter ho$ a$!ul your situation might "eGo matter ho$ "ad you scre$ed upGo matter ho$ hopeless it seems. 'his trick $ill do the patch $ork. +hen you have tried everything else and nothing has $orkedG+rite a hand$ritten card or a letter to your ex. +hat you $rite in the letter $ill determine your chances $ith your ex there!ore it is a"solutely crucial
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that you $rite the right thing. But $hat is the right thing here, 9et me "reak it do$n so that you understand it "etterG Your letter should !ollo$ this pattern = 9ighten their load "y accepting the "reakup. ? An apology in case you did something $rong. @ 'ell them that you realiDed your mistakes. 'rigger their curiosity "y telling them something exciting happened in your li!e. K Close on a highly positive note. Here is a sa/6le letter +or you) LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
(ate4 ust wanted to let you know that you were a!solutely right a!out the !reakup+ 2ow , know that it was the right thing to do. ou are a wonderful person and you deserve the !est. , am sorry for having messed it all up. , went through a pretty exciting transformation...A lot of ama/ing things have !een happening lately. , would love to tell you a!out it some time. Anyway , 1ust wanted to thank you for everything and hope we can !e friends in the future. 5o!
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'his letter contains all the most essential ingredients needed to "e emotionally appealing to your ex. 'his $ill instantly trigger your ex;s mind and $ould create a situation o! emotional con!usion $hich $ould drive them to$ards you in order to kno$ more a"out your li!e. 'he "est thing a"out $riting a letter is that it al$ays gets read no matter $hat...7etting in touch via phone# email or 5ms might not get your message read "ut $riting a personaliDed letter al$ays $orks. Another reason $hy this is very e!!ective is "ecause it acts as a constant reminder and every time your ex $ill see it laying on the ta"le some place it $ill really trigger their curiosity and they $ould think a"out you. 'he more they think a"out you the more they $ould desire to get "ack $ith you.
nly %o
use this trick when nothing else has worked.
not apologi/e unless you made a mistake which deserved an apology. r else it might make you come across as desperate.
