A Companion Guide to the Audio Program
Becoming an
Authentic
MVP
Playbook Guide
Master the Skills, Attitudes, and Disciplines to Be the Best in Your Business and Personal Life
by Denis Waitley
Best-Selling Author of The Psychology of Winning and Seeds of Greatness
No part of this guide may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher. For more information, contact SUCCESS.
© Denis Waitley 2012. All rights reserved.
Published by SUCCESS Media, a imprint of SUCCESS Partners
200 Swisher Road Lake Dallas, Texas 75065 Toll-free: 866-SUCCESS (782-2377) www.SUCCESS.com
SUCCESS and SUCCESS Media are trademarks of SUCCESS Partners. All trademarks and registered trademarks included in this guide are property of their rightful owners. Printed in the United States of America Book design by Floro C. Torres and Sam Watson
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MVP Playbook Guide Congratulations on your personal commitment to winning for the rest of your life. This program represents a special investment of personal time and dedication that will separate you from the average performers. And the line separating the top five percent — the real achievers — from the rest of society is very fine. On the PGA tour, only a few strokes per year separate the top-money tournament champions from the rest of the touring professionals. In the Olympic Games, the only difference between the gold-medal winners and the nonmedal winners is a fraction of time, distance, or points. So it is in the arenas of life. The consistent, enduring leaders in business, the professions, education, and home draw upon special cutting-edge knowledge and skills that make them slightly, but significantly, different. Their advantage is not based on talent,
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IQ, or luck, but rather on attitudes and habits that have become an integral part of their daily lives. This program is designed to show you how to gain this advantage in your own life — to become a true MVP. The audio provides you with critical self-management skills and actions. Following along with the exercises and assignments in this printed guide will help you internalize the material and make it a natural part of your life. The richness of the dividends you reap from this program will be directly proportional to the depth of personal dedication you choose to invest in it. If you expect this program to be an overnight cure, you’ll be disappointed. But if you commit yourself wholeheartedly to the program, it will change your life forever.
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The Game of Life Winning is not just how much you score, but also how you build, nurture and edify other winning teammates in your business, friendships, family, and community. Your goal is to be front and center in the winner’s circle. Winning comes down to inches, fractions of seconds, and excellence under pressure. The edge is not the gifted birth. The world is full of wasted talent. The edge is not academic degrees. Education is important, but the world is full of educated misfits. The edge is not luck. If it were, Las Vegas would be a ghost town. The edge is not capital. Many of today’s multimillionaires started building their fortunes with under $5,000. The edge is attitude. Attitude, much more than aptitude, is the criterion for success. My goal is for this program to help you get and keep the winner’s edge and be the MVP in every area of your life.
Winning Winning is a feeling you have no ceiling. There never was a winner who wasn’t first a beginner.
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It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s what you think you’re not. It’s not what happens to you in life that counts: it’s how you take it and what you make of it. There is little difference between winners and the rest of the pack. The difference is attitude and the little difference is whether it is positive or negative. Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. You have been given the greatest power in the world — the power to choose.
The Inner Winner The secret to wearing the gold medal around your neck in the external world is that first you must be an Inner Winner. You must recognize that you’re already an Olympian Within. First, winners discover a talent within. They find something they love that they’re good at doing. They find coaches and mentors who help them train that talent into skills and habits. By working with a coach with a proven track record of success, they learn the fundamentals that need to be rehearsed and internalized on a daily basis.
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You’re a Natural, But at What? The secret to being an MVP is to play to your core competencies. To be your best, you need to do what you love and love what you do, and deliver more in value than you expect to receive in payment. You must believe in your potential. But how do you know what it is? Take a Talent Test - Two non-profit foundations are your best bet: The Ball Foundation in Chicago, and The Johnson O’Connor Foundation in New York City. Google their names for information. Both have solid reputations and The Ball Foundation offers an online version that is user-friendly and convenient. There are 19 innate talents that are identified and can be tested. For a series of selfawareness tests and exercises go to DenisWaitley.com/tests.
The Key to Winning Believing you deserve to win is the key. If you believe in your dreams when they’re all you have to hang onto, you begin to try. If you feel you have potential or talent, you’ll invest in it. If you believe you’re worth the effort, you’ll put in the time and energy. If you think you can, you’ll learn how.
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Core Values You are as good as the best, but not necessarily better than the rest. Self-esteem is a belief that you deserve to be happy. Self-trust is confidence in your ability to manage life’s challenges. Self-centered people constantly seek approval from and power over others. Value-centered individuals give of themselves freely and graciously, constantly seeking to empower others. Open and modest, they have no need for conceit, the opposite of core value. You always project on the outside how you feel on the inside.
Confidence Builders Here are action tips to enhance your self-confidence and that of the significant others in your life: Be more aware of your physical appearance. You don’t have to be the best-looking in any group, just look your best. Being clean says you care about yourself. Make a commitment to join a support group with a proven program that will overcome
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any habit that reduces the quality of your life. Always extend your hand and offer your own name first in any personal encounter — and offer your name first in phone conversations. Smile with your eyes, voice, face, and body language. In every language, a smile is a light in your window that says a caring person resides within. Write down and define the success qualities you want to acquire. Help your associates and family members do the same. You may want to focus on one quality a month. It takes about a month of repetition to develop a new habit, about a year of practice to make it permanent. Make a thanks list. Write “I am thankful for the following” at the top of a page, then three columns for People, Things, and Other. List all the people and things for which you are grateful. In the Other column, consider items we tend to take for granted, such as freedom, health, and opportunity. Read your list twice a day for a week and discuss it with associates and significant family members. Dwell on your strengths and talents. Keep a video record or Facebook photo scrapbook of your professional and personal milestones and achievements — positive memories for reinforcement during difficult times. Become comfortable giving and receiving
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compliments and expressions of affection. An ability to accept appreciation is a sign of healthy self-esteem. Always say “Thank you” when you are given a compliment. Accepting value paid and paying value are authentic markers of core value. Make the first and last fifteen minutes of your day at home and at the office — the time I call sign-on and sign-off signatures — the most important for all around you. Make it a habit no less important than brushing your teeth, to start and end your day on a positive note.
This I Believe Belief in yourself is the fundamental ingredient for success. No opinion is as crucial as the one you hold of yourself. No one is as critical of you as you are, although you may have grown up with a great deal of criticism by others. Feeling worthy of the best is not the same as being egotistic. Big egos hide small, insecure people. When you talk to yourself, you should talk with all due respect. Here’s what you want to say, every day: I believe in myself. I believe that all people have the equal right to become all they are willing and able to become. I believe that I am as good as anyone in
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the world. Although I may never be on the cover of Time magazine, I still have time to make a really positive difference in my life. I believe in this and the next generation, and believe we’ll build a better nation. I believe good health means more than wealth. I believe in caring and sharing, rather than comparing. I believe of all the people I see, still I’d rather be me.
Winning Is a Decision This message is meant to be a moment of truth, because it deals with another critical key to winning in every arena of your life: self-determination, or personal responsibility. One way or another, our actions cause rewards and consequences. “To every action,” as Sir Isaac Newton observed, “there is always opposed an equal reaction.” Good begets good and evil leads to more evil. This is one of the universe’s eternal, fundamental truths, which I have referred to as The Unfailing Boomerang or the Law of Cause and Effect. There are two primary choices in our lives: to accept conditions as they exist or to assume the responsibility for changing them.
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Action TNT: Today Not Tomorrow He was going to be what he wanted to be — tomorrow. None would be kinder and braver than he — tomorrow. A friend who was troubled and weary he knew, who’d be glad for a lift and needed it too, on him he would call and see what he could do — tomorrow. Each morning he’d stack up the letters he’d write — tomorrow. And thought of the clients he’d fill with delight — tomorrow. But he hadn’t a minute to stop on his way, “More time I will give to others,” he’d say — “tomorrow.” The greatest of leaders this man would have been — tomorrow. The world would have hailed him had he ever seen — tomorrow. But in fact, he passed on, and he faded from view. And all that he left here when his life was through was a mountain of things he intended to do — TOMORROW. Don’t put success and happiness on layaway. And don’t live on a fantasy island, called Someday I’ll. Today, Not Tomorrow. Action Step: Go to your laptop, tablet or smartphone and schedule one important appointment or call you have been putting off. Do it now!
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Self-Reliance Guidelines Be different, if it means higher personal and professional standards of behavior. Be different, if it means treating animals like people, and people as brothers and sisters. Be different, if it means being cleaner, neater, and better groomed than the group. Be different, if it means giving more in service than you expect to receive in payment. Be different, if it means to take the calculated risk. Action Idea: Take more control of your time, especially prime time. When others are watching TV or chatting online, work on your personal goals. Evenings and weekends are really the only spare time you have for yourself. The rest of your time is spent on earning your living, raising a family, and helping others. Your TV is an appliance. Treat it like one. Turn it off unless what you’re watching is incredibly informative or entertaining. Unless you’re a lonely heart, limit your Facebook or online chat time. The more successful you are, the more desirable you’ll be.
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Self-Determination The most important three words you can say to yourself are “Yes I can!” Success is a process, not a status. It’s what you do every day and night. Your attitude is either the lock on or the key to your door of success. Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value. Put up the dream. Put in the knowledge. Put out the effort. The only secret to success is that you have to get out of your comfort zone and take a risk. LUCK as an acronym: Laboring Under Correct Knowledge. Losers let it happen. Winners make it happen. Action Step: Depending on the government for your future financial security is like hiring a CPA who is a compulsive gambler. How much in savings will you have to accumulate, at what future date, in order to have the monthly income, after taxes, to live the lifestyle you deserve, after a career of contribution,
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without continuing to work? You should figure this out, this month. Social Security is an oxymoron!
You’re the CEO Start thinking of yourself as a service company with a single employee. You’re a small company — very small, but that doesn’t matter — that puts your services to work for a larger company. Tomorrow you may sell those services to a different organization, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less loyal to your current employer. Ask yourself how vulnerable you are and what you can do about it. “What trends must I watch? What information must I gain? What knowledge do I lack?” Unless you’re really comfortable online, you may be uncomfortable in some kind of bread line. Unless you are networking, you soon may be not working. But rather than become dependent on others, you should become interdependent, treating everyone you meet as a potential customer, someone with whom you may develop a strategic alliance in the future.
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Taking Action as Your Own CEO Here are some action steps to help you gain more personal responsibility in your business and personal life: Believe in the maxim: My rewards in life will be in proportion to the value of my service and contribution. Invest in developing your own knowledge and skills. The only real security in life is inside us. Take fifteen minutes each day for yourself alone. Use them to ponder how you can best spend your time for achieving what’s most important to you. Set your own standards rather than comparing yourself to others. Successful people know they must compete with themselves, not with others. They run their own races. Learn to depend on yourself. Don’t rely on other people, material rewards, or a prestigious job title to give you your self-worth. No one can take away your self-respect when it comes from within. When you make a mistake or fail at an assignment, avoid making excuses or blaming others. If a commitment can’t be met, always call immediately with a reason instead of making excuses after the fact.
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Use another motto for your self-analysis: Life is a do-it-yourself project. When your subordinates or teammates bring you a problem, first ask them what they think should be done to resolve it. Be certain to assign responsibility for the solution and follow through to the subordinate or team member. Resist taking the easy way out by doing it for them. Let your teammates and subordinates make mistakes without fear of punishment or rejection. Show them that mistakes are learning devices that become stepping stones to success. Be more curious about your world. Observe nature’s wonder and abundance. Scan important articles and lifestyle tips directly from online sources into your data files. Listen to audiobooks while driving, exercising, or doing chores. Subscribe to online newsletters and blogs, and follow the tweets of proven experts. Seek out and gain counsel from the most successful people in your profession. Break your daily and weekly routine. Get out of your comfortable rut. Spend less time online on Facebook or chat rooms, unless they are helping your business. Unplug the TV for a month. Take a different route or
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different mode of transportation to work. Have lunch with people in totally different industries and read publications in totally different fields than your current one. And finally, internalize the inscription on a plaque at the entrance of Rockefeller Center in New York City authored many years ago by John D. Rockefeller Jr.: “If you take good things for granted, you must earn them again. For every right you cherish, you have a duty to fulfill. For every hope you entertain, you have a task to perform. For every privilege you would preserve, you must sacrifice a comfort. Freedom will always carry the price of individual responsibility and the just rewards of your own choices.”
Motivation by Desire Positive self-motivation is the inner drive that keeps you moving forward in pursuit of your goals. Winners in every field in the game of life are driven by desire. There never has been a consistent winner in any profession who didn’t have that burning desire to win… internalized. We are moved in the direction of what we dwell on. We can’t concentrate on the reverse of an idea. Fear usually looks through the rearview mirror at missed opportunities and
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problems, and with apprehension to the future. Desire is like a strong, positive magnet. It beckons and welcomes us toward our goals. Fear breeds compulsion. Desire creates positive propulsion. Fear breeds inhibition. Desire triggers ignition. Winners have learned how to concentrate on the desired results, rather than possible problems.
Motivation into Motive-Action Here are some motivation actions you can take to become the MVP at work and at home. Remember, we become what we think about. What the mind harbors, the body manifests in some way. Focus your mind (which I call your software program) on your desired goals that you want your brain and body (your hard drive and hardware) to achieve. View failure as target correction. Failure is only a detour, not a dead end. Look at failure as the fertilizer of success. Don’t roll in it. Use the experience as growth material. So make a pact with yourself. I suggest you write an agreement with yourself. Promise that you won’t allow a failure to be more than a learning experience that allows you to move more quickly to the place you want to be. Keep your self-talk affirmative. Whether you’re at
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work, at home, or on the golf course or tennis court, your subconscious is recording every word. Instead of “should have” say “will do.” Instead of “if only” say “next time.” Instead of “Yes, but” ask “Why not?” Instead of “problem” say “opportunity.” Instead of “difficult” say “challenging.” Forget perfection. Only the saints are perfect — and “sainthood is acceptable only in saints.” Accept the flaws and count your blessings instead of your blemishes. Declare a moratorium on negatives — negative thoughts, negative people, negative forms of entertainment. Keep your desire to succeed strong by erasing thoughts of the downside. To win you must continuously motivate yourself toward your goals. Be willing to say to yourself, “I’m on the right road. I’m doing OK. I’m succeeding.” We too frequently become adept at identifying our flaws and failures. Become equally adept at recognizing your achievements. What are you doing now that you weren’t doing one month ago… six months ago… a year ago. What habits have changed? Chart your progress. Set up a dynamic daily routine. Getting into a positive routine or groove, instead of a negative rut, will help you become more effective. Why is the subway the most energy-efficient means of transportation?
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Because it runs on a track. Think of the order in your day, instead of the routine. Don’t worry about sameness, neatness, or everything exactly in its place. Order is being able to do what you really choose, not taking on more than you can manage. Order frees you up. Get into the swing of a healthy, daily routine and discover how much more control you’ll gain in your life. You’re on your way to becoming an MVP!
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Your Magnificent Obsession A magnificent obsession is the way you want to live, not just the things you want to own. A magnificent obsession is the person you want to be, not the title next to your name. A magnificent obsession is the mindset that you have, not the diplomas or awards you earn. It is the worldview you claim as your own, not the collection of stamps on your passport. It is uniquely yours, like your fingerprint or handwriting. Ask yourself, “If it weren’t for money, time, and personal responsibilities, what would I really love to do with my life?” Be specific. “What do I really get excited about? Five years from now, what will my days and nights look like? How will I spend my time and with whom? Where will I live? What will I have accomplished?” Take a look at your childhood dreams. What did you dream about when you were young?
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Finding Your “Why” If your why is big enough, your how will be taken care of. This compelling why will usually be connected to a magnificent obsession, which becomes your personal mission statement. It will be the basis for your long- and short-term goals, priorities, energy, and staying power. MVPs can identify and tap into the power of a compelling why, especially when the roadblocks to achievement are the greatest. Yes, we all work to make ends meet. But life isn’t just surviving. It is thriving and arriving at your chosen destiny. Here is my why: “To plant shade trees for future generations, under which I, myself, may never sit. The values I leave in my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are more important to me than any wealth I create or valuables I leave to them in my estate. My life is dedicated to coaching other winners.” What is your “Why”?
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Running Your Own Race Life is like a marathon, with each runner having a different finish line — the goal each person has set. All three of the runners on whom we have focused won, as well as the dozens of others who participated. The woman did better her best time by a few seconds; the man who just wanted to finish did; and the man who wanted to see how good he was pushed himself to a new level. For all three, the race was a process of achievement, of reaching an objective and creating the potential to move on to an ever-greater goal. No runner is a loser. We all know the real prize in the race is not to come in first place, but to run the race itself. We feel that special exhilaration, that refreshing high that comes from knowing we have done the very best we can do. Competition keeps raising the bar on standards of excellence. But each of us runs our own race according to our internal standards. When we do our best, we never lose.
Breaking Invisible Barriers Although there are certain “physical” limitations to performance, most “limits” are psychological
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and self-imposed, caused by feelings of uncertainty and inadequacy. Successes give us confidence. Disappointments and failures become thorny reminders that history is bound to repeat itself. Always remember, expectation is equal to motivation. You will be motivated only to attempt that which you expect to be able to achieve. Losers are motivated by the penalties of failure. Winners are motivated by the rewards of success. Expect more of your children, your teammates, and yourself. You may not always get what you want in life, but in the long run you will get what you expect. Action Idea 1: Always expect better health and speak well about your health. A positive explanatory style gives you a psychosomatic edge, combined with nutrition and exercise. What the mind harbors, the body manifests! Action Idea 2: Expect more from yourself, your teammates and your children. People rise to the expectation level of the significant role models in their lives. Make your expectations just out of present reach, but not out of sight.
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Your GPS (Goal Positioning System) Think of your mind as a marvelous GPS system, but instead of a Global Positioning Satellite system, either hand-held or in your car, your brain is like a GPS system where GPS means Goal Positioning System. Tell your internal GPS where you want to go. Be as specific as possible. The more inputs the better. And it will guide you there. But first you must know where you are right now. And where you want to go. What you see is who you’ll be, and what you set is what you’ll get. Get focused about better health habits, especially weight control, nutrition and exercise. Plan more quality time with loved ones. Schedule it like a critical business meeting. Get a written plan for increasing both immediate and residual income. Action Idea: What specifically are the obstacles standing in the way of you moving up to the next level in your business and life? Who will help you go over and around them, and how?
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The Power of Focused Goals The mind cannot begin to formulate the strategies and actions required without specific information. Your mind will simply not respond to a request to get rich, have more, do better or make money. You must act like a bank loan officer with your goals. The reason loan officers want to see a detailed business plan in writing is that they know that the entrepreneurs who are precise and specific are the ones who will succeed and pay off their loans. Written goals are like contracts with yourself. If you ever begin to feel that you are losing your drive; if you feel that your energy level is down, your frustration level is up and you just can’t seem to muster the enthusiasm to face a challenge, check the pulling power of your goals. You may have outgrown your current targets and present lifestyle. It may be time for motivation by elevation. Raise your sights and challenge yourself with some goals that are farther out on the horizon. Here are five “powers” that will help you create more-focused goals to achieve your dreams: The Power of the Positive. Your goals should be framed in positive terms. Winners dwell on the rewards of
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success, while losers dwell on the penalties of failure. In other words, instead of focusing on “not being late,” “not being fat,” “not being in debt,” or “not working in my regular job,” you want to concentrate on images of achievement, such as “I’m an on-time person,” “I am lean and in great shape,” “I am financially free,” and “I am creating wealth and success in my business.” The Power of the Present. Your goals should be framed as images of achievement in the present tense as you affirm them in your own self-talk. Your long-term memory stores information in real time, which is critically important to you. The Power of the Personal. I cannot stress this enough: Your images of achievement must be yours. They cannot be your boss’s goals, your spouse’s goals, or your friend’s goals. They also cannot be goals that the media or filmmakers are placing in front of you. Goals that are created by others for you have very little staying power. No goal set for you by others will ever be sought with the same passion, effort, commitment, or motivation as the one you set for yourself.
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The Power of Precision. Make your images of achievement specific and precise. Remember, when you talk about goals in generalities, you will rarely succeed. But when you talk about your goals with specificity, you will rarely fail. A good way for you to determine if your images of achievement are focused enough is to simply ask yourself, “Can this goal be timed, checked, or measured?” If you cannot time, check, or measure your performance, your goals are not specific enough. The Power of the Possible. A formula that works well is that your goals should be just out of reach but not out of sight. Another way to state that is that your goals should be realistic, but not achievable by ordinary means. Your goals should also be broken down into small, incremental action steps. Remember, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. So set challenging, realistic goals with small, doable action steps.
Go for Your Goals If you don’t set goals, your mind will set one to get through the day. Most people spend more time planning a vacation
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or a party than they spend planning their lives. If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter if your alarm doesn’t go off in the morning. Television is technology that lets you watch other people having fun, making money reaching their goals. There is no such thing as a time management problem, only focus problems that steal time from priorities. Purpose is the engine that powers our lives. Focus always precedes success. With focused, concentrated goals you have the power of a laser beam. Written goals are contracts you make with yourself. What you can clearly visualize, you can realize.
The Magic of 90 Days Your 90-day season of success will build your motivation because, often, yearly or five-year goals are so distant that it’s easy to get discouraged and give up on them in frustration. When your goals are proximate and before your eyes on your computer, tablet or smartphone calendar, you are more likely to muster the motivation necessary to achieve them. Here are some exercises that you should block out some time to work
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on. Take time to review and write down your lifetime “magnificent obsession” we discussed earlier on this audio. Create a personal mission statement around it. Write down your core passion. Go beyond educating your children and saving for retirement. Take 30 minutes to an hour to write down the key things you must do professionally and personally in the next 90 days. Write down both “to-dos” and commitments, such as appointments, meetings, and events. Now review your list of things you believe you must do and spend another 20 minutes adding activities to the list that you really want to do. Take ten minutes and record three things that you keep putting off and tend to let slip through the cracks in both your professional and personal life. Now go to your calendar and put an action date on addressing that event. Now re-listen to “The Power of Focused Goals” track on this audio about the five powers of stating your goals as images of achievement, using Positive, Present, Precision, Personal, and Possible. You will almost guarantee success in goal achievement by stair-stepping your 90-day goals into the smallest
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increments possible. I call this LGST: Low Goals, Short Term. This is what Olympians do. By the inch goals are a cinch. By the yard they start to get hard. Make the next 90 days your season of success!
Winning Is Habit Forming Habits are learned by observation, imitation, and repetition. Repetition leads to internalization. We and our children are scarcely aware that role modeling is taking place and that our behaviors are being imbedded like the muscle memory of Olympic and professional athletes. Here are four rules to make your habits winning reflexes. Rule 1: No one can change you and you can’t really change anyone else. You must admit your need, stop denying your problem, and accept responsibility for changing yourself. Rule 2: Habits aren’t broken, but replaced — by layering new behavior patterns on top of the old ones. This usually takes at least a year of practice. Habits are like submarines. They run silent and deep. They also are like comfortable beds, in that they’re easy to get into, but difficult to get out of. So don’t expect immediate, amazing results. Give your skills training a year and stick with it, knowing that your new ways can last a lifetime.
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Rule 3: A daily routine adhered to over time will become second nature, like riding a bicycle. Negative behavior leads to a losing lifestyle; positive behavior to a winning lifestyle. Practice makes permanent in both cases. This point is so obvious that it’s often completely overlooked. If you do it right in drill, you’ll do it right in life. Rule 4: Having changed a habit, stay away from the old, destructive environment. Dieters who reach their desired weight usually slip back into their former eating patterns because the new ones haven’t been imbedded long enough to make them stronger than the temptations. Meanwhile, they should steer clear of buffets! To remain optimistic and successful, you must avoid neighborhoods and Internet chat groups of pessimists and quick-fix pushers. Network with people with similar goals and those who already are succeeding. You deserve as much happiness and success as anyone. You’re worth the price, which is knowledge, attitude, skills, and habit training. You control your thoughts, and your thoughts control your habits. Always remember that practice makes permanent. Your mind can’t distinguish a vividly repeated simulation from a real experience. It
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stores as fact whatever you rehearse. The software drives the hardware, which is true for losers and for MVPs.
Become a Change Agent Ask yourself: What can I offer that “they” aren’t offering? Where’s the niche that hasn’t been developed? How can I add value to the service or products I promote? Where is the market inefficiency? What would make this process more convenient? How can I do this less expensively? What would people pay for that isn’t available now? Which consumer groups and Internet communities are the most likely prospects who want what I provide? What trends will change my and their assumptions about the quality of life? Breakthrough ideas often occur when you are calmly searching for opportunities. They rarely occur when you are anxious and frustrated. Close your eyes and dream! Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook did in his dorm room!
Carpe Diem! Seize This Day! There are two days in every week about which we
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should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone. The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day: Today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities — Yesterday and Tomorrow — that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad; it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore live this one full day… Today.
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Overcoming Rejection To conquer your fear of rejection, you need to handle the word “no” in a constructive way. When people turn you down after a presentation, you have to interpret the “no” as “No, this is not right for me now.” We also can interpret “no” as meaning, “I need to know more about this opportunity or the products before I can say yes. I look at the service I offer to others as a gift that almost everyone desires. But what is being rejected is the presentation, not the presenter. When I can separate my self-esteem from offering the products or business opportunity, I can live with rejection and look for ways to get a positive response more often. Did you know: Eighty percent of all new sales are made after the fifth call to the same prospect. Forty-eight percent of all salespersons make one call, then cross off the prospect. Twenty-five percent quit after the second call. Twelve percent of all sales representatives call three times, then quit. Ten percent keep calling and networking until they succeed. The sales reps in what I call the top ten percent club are among the highest paid professionals, in all industries, in the country. The 10 percent who persist get the real payoff.
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Winning Teamwork The most successful business leaders today are like great coaches who manage by inspiration instead of intimidation. The command and control management style is obsolete. In this whitewater global marketplace, there is no such distinction as superior and subordinate. The key to getting and staying on top is to provide a resilient, positive working environment. David Ogilvy, founder of giant advertising agency Ogilvy and Mather, used to give each new manager a Russian doll, which contained five progressively smaller dolls inside. A message inside the smallest one read: “If each of us hires people we consider smaller than ourselves, we shall become a company of dwarves. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we will become a company of giants.” To become a giant in the eyes of others, and to succeed in the 21st century, look up to those beneath you! Consider these action ideas as you lead your team: Listen often and openly to what others say, and try to do so without prejudgment. Don’t put anyone off or be too busy to listen to and answer questions. Use praise frequently and sincerely.
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If you feel that criticism is warranted, do it in private, and make sure you say something encouraging after the reprimand. Be firm and be fair. Don’t meet with people in person or on the phone when you are angry. Exercise or take a walk first, then communicate when you are relaxed. Don’t be afraid or hesitant to share your concerns with others. Far better to discuss a molehill than to wait until it festers into Mount Everest. Don’t make rash promises and be consistent. Whenever you are in a leadership role, focus your supervision on teaching effective habits and skills, not in pointing out mistakes. Encourage everyone in both your personal and professional life to speak up and express their own ideas, even if you disagree with them. More than emails and phone calls, showing up for team members in person is one of the greatest compliments you can give. That is the ultimate value you can pay anyone. The five most important words a leader can speak are “I am proud of you.” The four most important are “What is your opinion?” The three most important are “If
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you please.” The two most important are “Thank you.” And the most important single word of all is “You!”
Living in Balance Time management contains one great paradox: No one has enough time, and yet everyone while living has all there is. Time is not the problem; the problem is separating the urgent from the important. Endless urgent details will always beg for attention, time and energy. What we seldom realize is that the really important things in our life don’t make such strict demands on us, and therefore we usually assign them a lower priority. The local university doesn’t call us to advance our education and improve our life skills. I have never received a call or email from the health club I joined insisting that I show up and work out for thirty minutes each day. My bathroom scale has never insisted that I lose thirty pounds. Nor have I ever been subpoenaed by the ocean or the mountains to appear for relaxation and solitude. Yet I receive hundreds of urgent phone messages and emails each week from people with deadlines. You see, it’s the easiest thing in the world to neglect the important and give in to the urgent. One of the greatest skills you can ever
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develop in your life is not only to tell the two apart, but to be able to assign the correct amount of time to each. Beginning tomorrow, throughout the day, and every day thereafter, stop and ask yourself this question: “Is what I’m doing right now important to my health, well-being and mission in life, and for my loved ones?” Your affirmative answer will free you forever from the tyranny of the urgent.
An Authentic MVP How do you measure success? For me, success and winning are very personal. They mean something different to each of us. Some people associate an MVP as one who scores the most points, goals, or dollars. Others think an MVP is the best team player, who builds other winners and is the catalyst for peak performance. For me, it’s not what you get that makes you successful, it is what you are continuing to do with what you’ve got. Happiness and fulfillment seem to be associated with the richness of the experience in the journey, not in the fleeting moment of recognition of having arrived. Instead of achieving or performing to impress the world or your peers, seek to do something that is beautiful, excellent, and
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heartwarming. Suppose, for example, you set out to learn to play a certain piece on the piano. You practice hard and long on the difficult concerto, and then you play it. You may play the piece one day for an audience of one or many, but that isn’t why you seek to master it. You do it for the sheer exhilaration of doing your best. You need no one else to measure you or your skill. Your gallery is your private relationship with your Creator and your own self-respect. Real success comes in small portions day by day: a smile, a hug, a sunrise or sunset, beach sand between your toes, a satisfied customer, a child’s happy squeal, the smell of lilacs, a hand extended, a phone call from a friend, a tree, a tasty meal eaten without haste. The list is endless, but our minutes to enjoy and appreciate life’s small successes are not. If there is one thing I want my children and grandchildren to learn from me, it is to take pleasure in life’s daily little treasures. It is one of the most important things I have discovered about winning and measuring success. In these messages, I have tried to distill the essence of what I have been seeking to communicate for the past four decades, plus timely tips based on benchmarking champions in every field today. Victory is not gained
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only at someone’s expense. Every victory does not result in a defeat. Being the best is identifying the talent or potential you were born with and using it as fully as possible toward a purpose that makes you feel worthwhile and at the same time benefits others. Success is not a matter of simply gaining financial wealth. I believe we all should seek financial security; in fact, it ensures that our golden years can be spent with freedom of choice and dignity. But money is like a plane ticket. It will take you nowhere unless you use it. A ticket does you no good if it is preserved and worshipped for its own sake. Money is also like a library card. Actually, money and knowledge are very much the same. They mean nothing when you simply collect them. They mean everything when you employ them, share them, and put them to work. I believe there is a way to be happy and contented. I believe we can master the skills, attitudes, and disciplines needed to be the best we can be. I believe there are keys that unlock the door to all our dreams of satisfaction, happiness, and contentment. We can be whole persons who function more completely, effectively, purposefully, and gracefully. And when we can do that, we will understand success and winning the game of life.
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Don’t Wait for the Future When I was very young I dreamed I could do anything, be anything, have everything. I wished upon a star and saw myself go everywhere throughout the world, without a care. But somehow in between I asked myself: Could it be? Should I see? All this for me? And now at last I know what kept my sights too low, were simply childhood fears, I learned so long ago. How do we know that the vision, we see for ourselves is real? How does that face in your mirror ref lect how you truly feel? When do our doubts and our fears disappear? When do we know that the harvest is near? Who can we turn to? Who do we trust? To lift us up year after year? So many questions searching for answers. So many voices from youth. So many hours of working and waiting. Then, finally, a moment of truth. The secret to be the MVP who’s inside you is really quite simple to find.
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Give all your attention to the goals here before you. Leave all of your failures behind. Cherish the loved ones around you. Stay true to the friendships you share. Let health and abundance surround you. Dream as big as you possibly dare. Imagine that all you desire and hold dear is asking permission from you to appear. This is your moment. This is your year. Don’t wait for the future…. It’s here.
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Resource pages The Platinum Collection by Denis Waitley This incredible multimodule set is specifically designed to enhance the three major areas of your life in the 21st century: Health, Wealth and Learning. (18 CDs)
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Raising Confident Kids by Denis Waitley Discover how you can help your kids develop the sense of belonging, individual identity, selfworth, and competency they want and need to become strong, effective adults. (CD/DVD)
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The Seeds of Greatness by Denis Waitley Denis Waitley shows you how to nurture the greatness within you and gives you a system that allows you to do in months what many psychologists take years to accomplish. (6 CD Set)
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About Denis Waitley Described by his peers as the poet laureate of modern-day philosophers, Denis Waitley has, over the course of more than 45 years, inspired, informed and enlightened millions of people worldwide. He is the author of 15 books, including the international bestsellers The Psychology of Winning and Seeds of Greatness. As one of the most sought-after speakers and productivity consultants in the world today, Denis has counseled leaders in a variety of fields, from astronauts and returning prisoners of war to Olympic athletes, professional coaches, politicians and Fortune 500 executives. For information on more Denis Waitley products or to subscribe to his email newsletter, please visit: Stay CONNECTED with Denis and let him help COACH & MOTIVATE you. /OfficialDenisWaitley
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