MODE ONE NOTES from http://direct-method.net/invisionboard/ collected by WiRAHA
I am Alan Roger Currie. I sort of shy away from the title of "seduction guru," even though I have helped many men improve their 'game' in regards to seduction. I'm more into "interpersonal communications improvement" than simply 'seduction.' Let me make it clear: The reason why I consider the behavior of "Jack" (John Leslie) in Talk Dirty To Me to be representative of Mode One Behavior is not so much because he's using profane, Xrated language with women (this is a common misconception of "Mode One"). It's more so because his behavior is bold, highly self-assured, upfront, straight-to-the-point ... and most importantly .... totally unaffected by the woman's subjective criticisms and personal insults. You cannot be 'Mode One' with women if you are afraid of being criticized, or easily affected by criticisms. REMEMBER THIS IMPORTANT POINT. For me, exhibiting Mode One Behavior (a form of being direct) is all about being who you truly are with women, without any regard or concern for whether or not they 'like' your behavior or 'dislike' your behavior. The problem with most men is that they are sort of "addicted" to positive, flattering, reciprocal reactions and responses from women. You have to break out of that. Learn to deal with some criticisms and negative responses from women. I told some guys years ago .... when it comes to approaching women, that is essentially what separates Mode One from Mode Two from Mode Three. Mode One: High risk (of criticism, rejection, negative responses), but high reward (e.g., quick seductions, high attraction, higher overall interest) Mode Two: Low-to-Medium risk, no rewards or delayed rewards Mode Three: Virtually NO risk .... and as expected, no reward. (Mode Four is when you tried Mode Two and/or Mode Three, failed to get the reaction/response you wanted, and now you're angry, frustrated, and bitter about it) Women LOVE TO FUCK. Don't EVER believe otherwise. You know why many men believe that women aren't as interested in sex as men? Primarily because of society ... the media ... the entertainment industry ... and believe it or not,
men. Men? That's right. MEN. Most men don't want their daughters, nieces, and sisters to be perceived as "whores" or "sluts." So what do they do?? Along with society in general, they 'brainwash' their daughters, nieces, and sisters to be 'prudish-acting good girls.' They're taught that promiscuity is "bad" and monogamy is "good." But deep-down, women love to fuck. That's why women hate one-night stands. Would you want to taste a really good meal ONE TIME?? No. You would want it on a regular basis. That's how women are with dick. Women want [good] dick on a regular basis. They don't want good sex "every now and then" or "occasionally." That's why many want to be in a serious relationship. Remember this: There are definitely factions of society, of the media, and of the Religious Right that surely want you to believe that men are "hornier" for sex than women are. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE. Some of you guys on here will never realize how profound this seemingly simple statement is. This is probably one of the Top 3 - Top 5 reasons why I actually wrote Mode One. Centuries back, once man decided to start offering money and financial favors to women in exchange for their romantic and/or sexual companionship, he opened up that eternal can of worms known today as manipulative head games. Think about it: If we as men began our lives with the believe that women are just as horny, if not hornier for sex than we as men are, would we continue to... a) play up to women's egos? b) offer to 'wine & dine' women when we barely even know them? c) treat sex from a woman almost like it's a 'treat' or 'reward'? d) change and modify our natural behavior in order to become a 'Mr. Nice Guy' type? e) do all of the above? Every man here knows the answer to this..... First off broiledbrain, does Mode One VS Mode Four have something to do with you deciding not to post here anymore? Curious. Mode Four Behavior: Have you ever had a woman do something, or say something, to piss you off ... and at the time, you didn't really say anything .... but then days later, weeks later, or months later ... all of the sudden you're like, "Remember when you stood me up on a date back in July of 2006?? You fuckin' bitch!! I ought to slap you in the face with my DICK ... you fuckin' bitch!!! All you women are just dick suckin', golddiggin' whores!!! You bitch!!!" Are you being straightforward about your feelings? Yes. But the problem is, you're straightforwardness is coming from a place of anger, frustration,
resentment, and misogynistic bitterness. That is not a 'good' thing. When you're in a Mode One state of mind, you're upfront and straightforward with women because you love women, and you're confident. When you're in a Mode Four state of mind, you're bold and straightforward with women because you despise women, and you're bitter. If you have the book, just re-read pages 71-83. Anyone familiar with an old school self-improvement guru named Deepak Chopra?? He talks about a principle entitled "The Law Of Detachment." This relates to Mode One VS Mode Four Behavior. You see, Mode Four happens when you've previously approached women with the specific expectation of receiving a 'positive,' 'enthusiastic,' and/or reciprocal response and reaction. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior towards women ... deep-down, you believe that if you're 'polite' to a woman ... flatter her ... behave well-mannered and friendly .... and even offer to 'wine & dine' her 2 or 3 times ... that she is going to eventually "reward" you with her romantic and/or sexual companionship. If she doesn't show her gratitude to you for being so 'nice' to her by dating you or having [casual] sex with you, guess what? At some point in time, you get pissed. Hello Mode Four. Same with Mode Three Behavior. When you're Mode Three, you're deeply afraid of exposing your true desires, interests, feelings, and intentions. So you hide them, deny them, and camouflage them. Your real hope ... deep-down ... is that this woman will either a) figure out that you're interested in her, and go ahead and reciprocate that interest ... or b) express her interest in you first so you won't have to put yourself out there. But then ... when you find out later that one of your buddies is tappin' that ass ... and he's an asshole and/or goofball ... you get pissed. Bottom line: Mode Four behavior results from you previously ATTACHING a specific, desired response & reaction from a woman. And you didn't get it. With Mode One Behavior ... you don't 'attach' yourself to specific reactions and responses. You say what you want to say, act the way you want really want to act .... and you let whatever happens, happen. If she reciprocates ... cool. If she doesn't ... so what. You see, for me ... exhibiting Mode One Behavior is not about whether or not I specifically get laid with a woman, whether or not I end up dating that woman, or whether or not that woman responds to me in a 'positive,' 'flattering,' or reciprocal manner. Exhibiting Mode One Behavior is more so about "how does it make me feel?" Especially when things don't go your way. For example, when I've gotten rejected after exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior, I felt regretful, angry, frustrated, and bitter. When I'm Mode One with women, even when I get rejected, it doesn't really bother me. I tend to feel like, "So what. On to the next woman...."
This is probably one of the top situations/scenarios that causes men to exhibit Mode Three Behavior (i.e., "pretending" to be content with a 'platonic' friendship with a woman, when you know deep-down you want to date her or have [casual] sex with her) Most men exhibit Mode Three Behavior towards classmates, co-workers, neighbors, friends of friends, and other women who they know they will more-than-likely see, and interact with, on a regular or semi-regular basis. User9917 asked the most important question: Which is going to bother you more? Letting your desires, interests, and intentions be known ... at the risk of being rejected ... or keeping your desires, interests, and intentions bottled up inside, and risk becoming angry, frustrated, and bitter (Mode Four) later on. You have to decide. You're putting way too much emphasis on how you think this woman is going to react to you/respond to what you say to her rather than simply focusing on what you want her to know about your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. You like her smile .... yeah, so what. You don't date a woman because you want to look at her smile. You can be platonic friends with a woman and do that. There is a huge difference between telling a woman you like her smile, and you like her ass. daze can say anything he wants to. I never said he couldn't. But if he's asking my opinion on if his particular approach is representative of Mode One Behavior, then I would say no. Whether you're interested in a woman "romantically," or for only casual sex purposes, you still ultimately want to have sex with her. The only difference is sex within an emotional, monogamous context ... and the other is in a non-emotional, non-monogamous context. Complimenting a woman's smile can have either a) platonic connotations, b) romantic connotations, or c) sexual connotations. Example: Me (to a woman): "You have really nice lips...." a) If I just leave it at that, that can be construed as just a nice compliment from a platonic friend. b) If I say, "You have really nice lips .... I can't wait to find out how well you kiss ....", then that has romantic connotations. c) If I say, "You have really nice lips .... I can't wait to slide my hard dick in your mouth ....," then that has sexual connotations. I can tell my best friend's 60-year old mother that "I love your smile." Do you think she's going to perceive that as a romantic gesture? Hell no. She's going to say, "Why thank you young man!" When you're exhibiting Mode One Behavior, you don't have to be 'X-rated,' erotically explicit, or sexually provocative and straightforward .... but .... you do have to make it crystal clear that you
have no interest in being her next new 'platonic' male friend. Casual compliments fail to make it clear that you have a romantic and/or sexual interest. Even going out on "dates" doesn't always do that. I've literally had women tell me that just because a guy invited them to lunch or dinner didn't cause them to perceive that guy as wanting to date them or have sex with them. There are even married women, or at minimum, women who have no interest in you, that will go out to lunch with you if you don't make it clear what your true intentions are. That's what Mode One behavior is all about. That's the whole purpose of even exhibiting Mode One. Is to eliminate the idea of being "vague," "ambiguous," or "too general" when it comes to expressing your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Telling a woman she has a 'pretty smile' has no risk involved. If that woman says, "Why thank you! My boyfriend loves my smile too!!", how are you going to feel? Approaching a woman, and expressing an interest to her at some point is very, very important. But being Mode Two instead of Mode Three will accomplish that. You don't need to be Mode One to simply let a woman know you're interested. If you truly want to be direct ... and more specifically, Mode One ... your approach needs to be bold, upfront, highly self-assured, and straight-to-the-point. So, bottom line, I'm not saying daze shouldn't say what he wants to say .... if he wants to say "You have a nice smile," or some close variation of that, then that's on him. But again, that would not be representative of Mode One Behavior. Make no mistake ... exhibiting Mode Two Behavior is definitely a step up, and a step forward away from Mode Three Behavior. Mode Three is when you're indefinitely "pretending" to be content with being a woman's "platonic friend," when you know deep-down that you want to date that woman or have casual sex with that woman. Mode Two is when you do express your romantic and/or sexual interests to a woman ... but you just do so in a very mild, delayed, cautious, beat-around-the-bush type manner. You're on your way soon.... Generally speaking, I don't really believe in encouraging men to simply approach a woman, and boldly say, "Hey you .... I want to fuck you ...." In that sense, I partially agree with you that I may not be promoting TOTAL DIRECTNESS. But on the flip side, if a woman asks me, "Why do you want to share my company next weekend?," then I will surely say, "Because I want to fuck the hell out of you." If you read my "M1-Backstory," you will see that there have been times where I've let my sexual interest be known to a woman within the first minute or two of the conversation. What my main thing is, if I do happen to 'delay' expressing my sexual interests for a few minutes, it's rarely, if ever, because I'm 'afraid' of receiving a negative response from a woman, or 'scared' of being criticized. It's more so because I believe in qualifying a woman first (i.e., make sure she's
single, not psychotic or semi-retarded, etc.) Mode One Behavior is not confidence alone, upfront & straightforwardness alone, or unapologetic/unfazed by women's criticisms attitude alone. It's all three combined. Draw three large circles on a piece of paper, and draw them so all three circles intersect with one another at some point. Label one circle "Highly self-assured confidence," one circle "Upfront, straight-to-the-point behavior," and label the other circle "unapologetic attitude which makes me unfazed by women's subjective criticisms and personal insults of my behavior" The area where all three circles intersect would be best representative of Mode One Behavior. I didn't leave out specific interaction examples as a ploy to get men to pay me for consultations. Not at all. My main reason is, many guys are always looking for "pick up lines", and I don't want guys just going around 'imitating' what I do, and what I say. I would rather guys imitate my beliefs, principles, and attitudes .... than to imitate my specific words and phrases. Here is one of the key things to remember about Mode One: "Success" using Mode One Behavior is not specifically about getting laid. "Success" using Mode One is just the fact that you had the balls to exhibit Mode One Behavior. If you truly understand that, you'll be on your way.... You seem to believe that the sole and specific purpose for exhibiting Mode One Behavior is simply to get laid. If you thoroughly read my book, and understand it, you will see that this is an erroneous belief. You can't measure the effectiveness of Mode One Behavior by how many women you're able to seduce and have sex with. If you recently improved your eating and exercise habits, would you measure the effectiveness of your change in behavior by.... a) how healthy and energetic you now felt; b) how much weight you lost; c) how many attractive women you were able to seduce and fuck; d) how many flattering comments you received from women; e) Other / None of the above Let me know.... I'm going to be blunt & real with you suppster: If you're looking to use Mode One Behavior for the sole & specific purpose of just getting some women in bed, Mode One is never really going to work for you. Seriously. Going back to my analogy above regarding health & fitness, if the only reason you're eating healthy foods and exercising regularly is to get some pussy and get flattered by women, then the minute you go a few days or a few weeks without experiencing either one, you're going to inevitably go back to eating junk food and sitting on your ass. It's essentially the same with Mode One Behavior. If you've read my book, I say that seducing women and getting laid is more so a fringe benefit of
exhibiting Mode One Behavior. But that is not the #1 objective or sole purpose for exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Let's say you had a friend that went out to a nightclub every Friday night, and for 16 of the last 20 weekends, he found a woman to have a one-night stand with or weekend fling with. You noticed each time he went to the nightclub, he wore a gold colored silk shirt and a fake Rolex watch. Are you going to do the same thing in order to ensure that you get laid? Think about that for a while. "Marinate" on that, as they say, for a moment. I'll respond to some of the other things you said a bit later.... Speaking of important points Joao, one important point to make is pussy does not create confidence. I know some married guys who are having sex on a regular or semi-regular basis with their wives who struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues all of the time. Getting laid does not improve a man's self-confidence. Self-confidence though can significantly improve your opportunities for getting laid. Joao (and suppster), here is a scenario I use with a lot of men to get them to better understand how Mode One Behavior can work for them: Let's say you were invited to participate in a dating "experiment." You submit a picture of yourself, a half-page bio, and a 5-minute video of you talking about your likes and dislikes about women, dating, sex, and life in general. Based on what you've submitted, ten women ... about equally attractive ... are chosen to converse with you in a hotel room (ten different women in ten different rooms on one floor of a hotel). You're given 45 minutes to an hour to converse with all ten women. Now, unbeknownst to you ... all of the women have been divided into four groups: Group "A" (3 women): These women are not interested in you, and will not hesitate to let you know this if you directly ask them. But each of them will allow you to engage them in 5-10 minutes of entertaining "small talk." Group "B" (4 women): These women are also not interested in dating you or having sex with you, but they have been persuaded to PRETEND as though they are interested in you in order to manipulate you into treating them to one or two free lunches or dinners, and/or getting to you to have two or three phone conversations with them at a later date where you can flatter them, and listen to them vent their frustrations on womanizers who pretended to be interested in having a long-term relationship with them, had sex with them, and then dumped them. Nothing about their behavior would initially indicate that they have no interest in you. Group "C" (2 women): These two women wouldn't mind having casual sex with you, even as early as later on today, but they have been trained to PRETEND as though they are "innocent, wholesome, monogamous-minded 'good girls'" who only have sex with men within the context of a serious relationship. What do you say to them in order to get them to acknowledge that they wouldn't mind indulging in casual sex with you? Group "D" (1 woman): This woman is very interested in being your next girlfriend. She absolutely
adores you. But be warned. This woman is sort of 'spoiled.' She's used to being flattered and 'wined & dined' on a regular basis. Men fawn over this woman all of the time. So, she's expecting the same from you. Now ... how would you approach each of these ten women ... knowing you only have 45 minutes to an hour to accurately identify what woman falls into what group?? Marinate on this, and let me know..... When you say "fun & flirty," are you referring to "Mode Two" Behavior? Mode Three? Both? In my opinion, if you approached any of these women in a Mode Two and/or Mode Three manner, 99% chance, it's going to take you more than 4 - 6 minutes to identify what category each woman falls into. if you gave me an average of four-to-six minutes with each of these women ... seven minutes tops ... I would be able to accurately identify every woman in Groups "A," "B," and "D." More-than-likely, "C" too ... but that might be the only category that might take a wee bit longer. If any man exhibits Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior towards the women in Group "A" or "B", they're going to a) waste a lot of time and/or b) end up being used, manipulated, and treated like either an emotional tampon or a walking, talking wallet. Based on my 15-20 years of experience approaching women, conversing with them, and generally interacting with them ... I would be able to identify what category all of the women fell into. I won't get into specifics just yet until other posters respond. At maximum, I would be able to identify the categories of all of the women ... and at bare minimum, I would be able to identify the seven women in Groups "A" and "B." even if you haven't had many years of experience exhibiting Mode One Behavior with women, just from reading my book 2 or 3 times should allow you to figure out how to identify what women fall into what category. If you exhibit Mode Three Behavior towards any of these ten women, you're fucked. Plain and simple. You will end up ... in the long-run ... wasting so much time and money with no real payoff, it will be pathetic. If you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you might end up dating and/or having sex with at least one of the three women from either Group "C" or Group "D", but more-than-likely, you will probably end up first wasting time interacting with one or more of the women from Group "B." The easiest to identify would be the three women in Group "A." All you would have to do is tell them what your interests are in an upfront, straightforward manner ... and they will simply tell you, "I'm not interested in you in any way other than a platonic friendship." Playing the "numbers game" would be if I approached 50 women at a nightclub, and simply said, "Hey ... I wanna fuck you," and hoped that at least 1 - 5 of those women said, "Okay! Cool!" That's not the case with Mode One Behavior. Mode One is more profound than that. If you thoroughly read my book, you'll understand that. The one thing you said above that I do totally
agree with is that "Mode One allows you to cut down the length of approaches that aren't going anywhere." This is very true. your problem seems to be that you are way overly concerned with the possibility of "turning women off." That's your main weakness. And guess what? Manipulative women can SMELL THAT IN YOU. Trust me on this. You have a deep, profound fear of 'offending' women, 'insulting' women, and/or making them feel 'uncomfortable' in your presence. You don't want any woman to 'harshly criticize' you, your behavior, and your manner of verbally expressing your desires, interests, and intentions. If you maintain this attitude and fear, you will always end up exhibiting a variation of Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. If that's cool with you, then it's no big deal. Self-confidence and self-assurance is no doubt very important ... but confidence alone does not lead to Mode One Behavior. You can exhibit Mode Two Behavior and be confident. You can exhibit Mode Four Behavior and present yourself as 'confident.' Confidence is nothing more than approaching a woman with the firm expectation that things are going to go your way, and that woman is going to ultimately reciprocate your desires, interests, and intentions. If you refer back to "Talk Dirty To Me," and that opening scene with Jack (John Leslie) conversing with that female physician .... if this was YOU suppster, instead of Jack, as soon as that female doctor started hurling out those harsh criticisms and personal insults ... you would have thought to yourself, "Wow. I'm turning her off. I need to back off and apologize right away." And you would have never gotten that female doctor to suck your cock or give you some pussy. Bottom line: You don't really understand the effectiveness of Mode One, and how it can benefit you. You're too attached to the idea, desire, or expectation of receiving a 'positive' reaction/response from women. What I'm saying is ... if you approached any of these ten women, and exhibited Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, there is a 99% chance that you would not be able to correctly and accurately identify what women fall into what category in a 4 - 6 minute conversation. You just wouldn't. I still don't see where I "contradicted" myself. Realistically, the only way you would be able to accurately identify what category each woman fell into would be to exhibit behavior that is bold, upfront, highly self-assured, and straight-to-thepoint. In other words, Mode One Behavior. With Mode Three Behavior ... the women would never really make their interests known, because you're not making your interests known. With Mode Two Behavior ... you would eventually make your interests known ... but more-thanlikely, only after you've engaged in about 4 or 5 minutes, if not more, of "entertaining & flattering small talk." Mode Four wouldn't apply to this scenario until after all of your conversations were concluded, and you had a second opportunity to converse with the women in Groups "A" and "B". Body language / non-verbal communication is always important. Good point.
The three women in Group "A" would be the easiest to identify. Again, with them, all you would have to do is straightforwardly let them know what your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions are, and they will quickly tell you, "I'm not interested." The women in the other three groups are going to give you at least a wee bit more of a challenge. The thing that would expose the true intentions of the four women in Group "B" (i.e., not interested, but pretending to be in order to manipulate you) would be not so much your "X-rated" candor, but rather you firmly letting them know that you're not into 'wining & dining' women, or engaging in 'entertaining small talk.' This is what most frustrates Group B type women, and provokes them to let you know that they're not really interested in you. These are the type of women that suppster3 needs to be concerned about. He seems to be worried about "turning off" women. Well, the truth of the matter is, when you're dealing with Group B type women, in a matter of speaking, you want to "turn them off." You don't ever want to give women who are looking to manipulate you or waste your time any sort of motivational fuel for continuing to interact with you. Out of the four groups, the two women in Group "C" are more-than-likely going to be the hardest to break down. Did you watch that opening scene in "Talk Dirty To Me"?? The female physician would be a Group C type woman. These are the women that want to have sex with you .... and even more specifically, they don't mind having casual sex with you ... but they don't want to be perceived as a "whore" or a "slut." So these women are going to put on their best "front" to make them appear as though they are a 'good girl.' Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites (Chapter 6 of my book) fall into Group C. Don't hesitate to be Mode One in an "R-rated" manner, or an "X-rated" manner with Group C women. They may act like you're "turning them off" (take note suppster), but in reality, you're not. They're pretending to be 'turned off' or 'offended' to see if you really have balls, or if you're pretending to have balls. The one woman in Group D is going to be almost similar to the four women in Group B. Group B women want to be spoiled, flattered, and 'wined & dined', only they're not really interested in you. The Group A woman wants to be spoiled, flattered, and 'wined & dined', only she is interested in you. It's like you selling a used car, and you know it's only worth $7,500 (USD), but you're trying to sell it for $10,000 (USD). That's what the Group A woman is doing. You have to let her know that you're interested, but you're not going to be 'spoiling' her with flattery, materialistic gifts, or financial favors. Remember: The women in Group "B" are always going to be the trickiest. I can name times, in the past, where I literally wasted weeks and months fooling around with Group B type women. Mode Two men and Mode Three men are easy prey for these types. The one mistake you're making Zillaman is that you seem to be operating under the assumption that all ten women would have a tag around their necks that says, "I'm a Group A woman!" "I'm a Group B woman!" The challenge of the 'experiment' would be to talk to each woman, and quickly figure out what
Group they fall into. THEN ... once you've identified what group they fall into ... you exhibit the most appropriate behavior accordingly.... The only time I care about 'turning off' women is if I'm exhibiting behavior that I know is not representative of the real me. Example: I love fried chicken wings. Can eat them every day. Now, if I met a beautiful, ultra-sexy woman who said, "I only date guys who are vegetarians...," do you think I should 'pretend' to be a vegetarian in order to 'not offend her' or 'turn her off??' If I don't do drugs ... but I meet this gorgeous, super-sexy woman who loves to snort cocaine ... should I hide the fact that I've never snorted cocaine in my life so that I won't look like a "prude" or a "square", and risk 'turning her off'?? You can have a busy life and a successful career and still lack confidence. You don't develop confidence as a result of being a leader ... you become a leader as a result of having confidence. I know men who are perceived as "funny," "witty," and "charming" that have no real self-confidence. You're confusing false confidence, or superficial perceptions of confidence with real, genuine selfconfidence. If the semi-nerdy looking guy with glasses was simply trying to imitate Jack's (John Leslie in "Talk Dirty To Me") words, comments, and specific phrases ... then no. I believe he would crash and burn. But if a guy who was perceived as a 'geek with glasses' was to emulate Jack's unapologetic attitude, his self-assured demeanor, and deep-seeded belief that Wholesome Pretenders will always 'test' you to see if you really have balls, or are 'pretending' to have balls, then that "nerd"/"geek" would get his dick sucked. Self-confidence is like the wheels on an automobile. You need wheels to make the car move, right? Of course you do. But what is a car without a working engine or gasoline?? A car going nowhere. Confidence is just a part of success with women while exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Confidence, by itself, means nothing. Let me put it to you another way: A man does not exhibit Mode One Behavior because he has a boatload of "confidence." A man develops confidence because he consistently exhibits Mode One Behavior. You don't exercise with free weights because you have muscles. You develop muscles because you've been consistently exercising with weights. I have never once said that Mode One Behavior is a "magic pill." That's the problem with many men on message boards like this. They want a "magic technique" that will turn them into a highly successful womanizer and/or ladies' man "overnight." I tell men all of the time: If that's what you're looking for from my book, you won't find it. Mode One is not a "quick fix." Mode One is more of a long-term improvement strategy. Sticking out your tongue to a woman is goofy. I would never do such a thing, and I don't think most men on here would do such a thing. That's like going up to a woman and grabbing her tits when you don't know her. 90% chance, you're going to get slapped.
The 'trickiest' group, of the four, is going to be the four women in Group "B." In real life, those are always the trickiest. I would say, in reality, it is the Group B type women that most make Mode One Behavior the most necessary and the most effective. If you were to always exhibit only Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, you would always fall victim to Group B type women. I already mentioned to NbdyDsItBttr and the others what you should do with each group ... now I'll briefly mention what you shouldn't do: Group "A" (i.e., the three women who are not interested in you, that have no problem letting you know that if you ask them): The worst thing you could do with a Group A type woman is to approach them, and immediately just start engaging in trivial, inconsequential "small talk." (read Principle #2 on page 139 of my book) I've literally seen male friends & acquaintances of mine spend as long as a full hour talking to a woman about trivial bullshit, only to have that woman say at the end of the conversation, "Well, it was nice talking to you, but now I have to go home and fix dinner for my husband...." What?!? She's married?? You mean, I just wasted an hour having an entertaining conversation with a MARRIED woman?? Yep. You sure did. Why? Because you never once said, "I'm attracted to you ... let's get together sometime in the near future...." or something like that. Group "B" (i.e., the four women who are not interested in dating you or having [casual] sex with you, but will pretend as though they are in order to 'use' you, manipulate you, and play 'head games' with you): Once again, these type of women are probably the most 'tricky' to deal with. Do you know, there are women right now ... as I write this ... that are driving some guy's Mercedes or Ferrari .. or having their condominium paid for by some guy who's exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. I lived in Los Angeles for 6 1/2 years, and let me tell you: L.A. is the unofficial "headquarters" for manipulative, duplicitous women. Women like this live to play 'manipulative head games' with men who are exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. Remember when Jack (John Leslie) said to the female physician (in Talk Dirty To Me), "I bet some guys would pay big bucks to get in your pants huh ... big bucks ... (pause) ... Well, I wouldn't pay you shit" Right there, he was letting her know: I would never try to 'wine & dine' you, or do financial favors for you, in exchange for your sexual companionship. The only thing I will exchange for your sexual companionship is my sexual companionship. This is what you have to do with Group B type women. If there is one type of woman you pretty much want to 'turn off' ... or at least, put their ego in check ... is Group B type women. You have to let them know that you're not the 'wine & dine' type, or the emotional tampon/listening ear/platonic 'play brother' type. Once you do that, these women will pretty much leave you alone. There are too many other men for them to use as 'prey' than to waste time with you. See Principle #3 on page 139 of my book, and Principle #6 on pages 140-141. Group "C" (i.e., the two women who are pretending to only be into monogamous, relationship-type sex, but in reality, will engage in episodes of casual, kinky, non-monogamous type sex): These are the women that will "pretend" to be 'turned off' by sexually provocative talk, only to turn around and suck your dick or give you some pussy like the female doctor in "Talk Dirty To Me."
I've ran across a lot of these types in my life. I call these women "Wholesome Pretenders." What you don't want to do with these types: Act like you're eager or overanxious to enter into a monogamous relationship with them (see Principle #4 on page 139 of my book, Principle #5 on page 140, and Principle #7 on page 141). Group "D" (i.e., the one woman who is interested in dating you, but she wants you to 'jump through hoops,' so to speak, before she shares your company in a romantic and/or sexual manner): This woman is similar to the women in Group B. Principles #2, #3, and #6 most apply with this woman. Don't ever act like her attention and companionship is more 'valuable' than your own attention and companionship. Don't play up to her ego .... if anything, make her play up to yours. My sense of confidence comes from taking action ... consistently .. to achieve my desired goals and objectives without any regard for what other people think about what I'm pursuing, or how I'm pursuing it. Most men 'run away' from rejection & criticism ... like running away from the "classroom bully." I say, run towards rejection, and challenge it head-on. Rejection is actually a win-win situation. What? Alan are you smoking crack? Are you nuts? I'm serious. Why? When a woman is genuinely not interested in you, then rejection is a good thing because you don't waste time pursuing a woman who is not really interested in you. YOU win. When a woman is interested in you, but pretending not to be by momentarily 'rejecting' you ... then at some point in time (days later, weeks later, months later), she's going to change her tune, and basically throw herself at you. You'll have the upper hand. YOU win again. When you're truly confident, you don't allow past failures and/or past frustrations to negatively affect your ability to take action. You set your own "value." You can present yourself to a woman as a $1.00 bill, a $5.00 bill, a $20.00 bill, or a cashier's check for $500,000 (figuratively speaking). How does a woman's beauty affect you? How does a woman's sex appeal affect you? Do you turn into a "drooling puppy dog?" If so, your value becomes diminished. Pussy is pussy. Don't treat it like gold. All of the stuff you're talking about ... in my opinion ... has very little, if anything, to do with true, genuine self-confidence. You don't need a Lamborghini in order to be 'confident.' You don't need to wear the right clothes, or have the right 'look' to be 'confident.' Those factors can surely contribute
to one's sense of confidence, but confidence ... in it's basic form ... is simply having the ability to take action towards the achievement of your desired goals and objectives. Nothing more, nothing less. If your goal is to become wealthy ... and you take action towards achieving that goal, then you are behaving in a confident manner. If your goal is to lose weight and improve your physique ... and you take action in order to accomplish that objective .... then you are behaving in a confident manner. If your goal is to gain the romantic and/or sexual interest and companionship of an attractive woman ... and you take action towards making sure that this happens ... then you are behaving in a confident manner. You need to read pages 113 - 115 in my book. Bottom line regarding confidence in relation to Mode One Behavior: All men who exhibit Mode One Behavior are confident and self-assured, but not all men who are confident and self-assured exhibit Mode One Behavior. Get it? Got it? Good. I never said that the 'only' way a man will be 'successful' with women is by exhibiting Mode One Behavior. There are a variety of ways you can be successful with women (depending on how you define 'successful'). It's just like losing weight. You can lose weight on a low-calorie diet, a low-fat diet, or a low-carb diet. The same with attracting & seducing women. You can use manipulative tactics, nonmanipulative tactics, indirect tactics, direct tactics, etc. Mode One Behavior is just one particular method of approaching women, conversing with them, and ultimately attracting them and seducing them. Where I differ from other schools of thought regarding attraction & seduction is that I don't really emphasize the idea of preventing and/or avoiding criticism, negative reactions, or rejection. Probably 75-90% of the books on the market related to attracting women tend to emphasize ... to one degree or another ... preventing women from responding to you in a 'negative' manner. I don't care about negative responses. My #1 emphasis is on a) conquering your fear of rejection so that you will take action; b) conquering your fear of subjective criticisms and personal insults about your behavior so that you will take action; and c) identifying women who are interested in you, but pretending not to be ... or not interested in you, but pretending to be in order to mislead you and manipulate you. You need to read my book. Or, if you're not interested in reading my book, then we should just agree to disagree on the points we've discussed, and call it a day. I've never said, or implied, that exhibiting Mode One Behavior will make you an "overnight ladies' man" or "overnight womanizer." I clearly tell guys in my book ... if that is your objective, you're wasting your time reading my book. Becoming a ladies' man and/or womanizer can happen as a result of consistently exhibiting Mode One Behavior, but again, that is not the specific objective or purpose of my book.
I spelled out my primary emphasis in my previous response. have you read my book?? Because if you haven't, please don't comment on Mode One Behavior like you're an 'authority' of some sort, when you're not. Telling guys to "tone down" their use of Mode One Behavior ... when it's clear you know nothing about it ... is ridiculously insulting to me, and those who have read my book. You need to do one of three things: 1) If you've already read my book ... then you need to read it again. 2) If you haven't read my book ... then you need to buy it, and read it thoroughly, before making comments of what Mode One is and/or isn't. 3) If you have no intentions of reading my book, then you really shouldn't be discussing Mode One Behavior with me, or anyone else on here. Seriously. You're talking about a concept that you really know nothing about. You seem like a very intelligent guy, but you keep trying to 'boil down' Mode One to simply an issue of confidence. Confidence is to Mode One what baking flour is to a good tasting cake. It's a very necessary ingredient, but it's not the only ingredient. As I said once already as well ... I don't think you need to already be "confident" to start exhibiting Mode One Behavior. It's like saying you have to 'already have' an athletic physique and/or a high degree of muscles before you can start exercising with free weights. Once you start working out, you will soon develop an athletic physique and strong, toned muscles. That's how I feel about Mode One Behavior in respect to a man's sense of self-confidence. When you consistently exhibit Mode One Behavior, your sense of confidence becomes stronger and bolder. That's what I'm essentially saying. For me, I didn't really start exhibiting Mode One Behavior because I was already 'ultra-confident.' I became ultra-confident as a result of consistently exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Entertaining story with the women..... If you know for a 100% fact that she's going to suck it ... go for it ... If my sole purpose for publishing "Mode One" was strictly to make money, I would've charged $39.95 for my book (or even higher), and started sponsoring Thursday thru Sunday weekend seminars for $1,500 - $3,500+. Instead, I'm on this message board giving feedback for free, and I only charge $14.95 for my EBook, and $15.95 for my paperback. I've had dozens of people in the "Seduction Community" call me 'crazy' for only charging $15.95 for my book. I had one of the administrators of FastSeduction101.com say, "Are you nuts? Your 'Mode One' book should be at least $29.95! You have too much wisdom in that book for it to be only sixteen dollars...." Matter of fact, before I published my E-Book in Fall of 2001, I used to give out my 45-page pamphlet called "The Mode One Principles" for free!! From like roughly 1995 - 2000, I used to give out the wisdom of my 'Mode One experiences' for free. Initially, I didn't even want to become a published author. I just wanted to reinforce my own convictions, and help out my older brother
(the first one to encourage me to publish 'Mode One' as a book), and a few friends of mine from college. If you notice, I don't encourage any "gimmicks" or "psychological tricks" like NLP and/or hypnosis. I don't have any 'unsubstantiated hype' in my book. I don't say, "If you read my book, you'll be sleeping with dozens of extraordinarily beautiful, sexy women in less than three months!!!" Uhm .... no. All I 'guarantee' in my book, if anything, is that if you consistently exhibit Mode One Behavior, you will feel more confident, more bold, and more unfazed and unaffected by rejection and/or subjective criticisms from women. So please ... don't lump my book in with 'everyone else.' I'm not trying to 'get over' on anyone. If I was, I wouldn't be here on this forum .... I'm reluctant to comment on and/or criticize materials and methods that I'm not that familiar with, so I'm not going to 'call out' any particular author or guru by name. But generally speaking, here is what I have a problem with regarding some of the concepts promoted by those in the "Pick up artist / Seduction Community": 1) No book, CD, or DVD can 'guarantee you' that you're going to dramatically increase your popularity with women romantically and/or sexually. Any author or guru who says things like, "I guarantee if you read my book or watch my DVD, you will be having sex with six women per month, every month!!" is feeding you a bunch of bullshit. There is always the possibility that one or more guys can experience results like that ... but there is no "guarantee" that each and every guy who reads your book, or watches your DVD, will have that sort of results. 2) In my estimation, probably 75-90% of the authors, speakers, and gurus tend to promote and encourage methods of attracting & seducing women that are manipulative (i.e., involve lying to women, 'tricking' them, and/or misleading them in some sort of way), or they put too much emphasis on preventing and/or avoiding rejection. I think both are a mistake in the long-run. If you read my book, you'll see .... when you make efforts to manipulate women ... you open yourself up to be manipulated. Same with trying to prevent and/or avoid rejection, criticisms, insults, and negative reactions from women. When you do this, and you're interacting with a woman who is highly skilled in "manipulative head games," you're going to get toyed with for hours, days and/or weeks, and you're going to end up feeling angry, frustrated, and bitter. I won't lie ... 'manipulative' techniques can work ... so that's why some of the authors, speakers, and gurus in the "Pick up artist / Seduction Community" promote them. But they typically only work on women who are young, inexperienced, naive, and gullible. More 'seasoned' women don't fall for that shit. As I say in my book: I don't really believe that you can attract a woman or seduce a woman that has absolutely, positively no interest in you. I mean, she has absolutely no attraction for you whatsoever. Either physically and/or personality-wise. Mode One Behavior is most effective on women who are interested in you ... but are 'pretending' not to be (or, vice versa ... women who are not really interested in you, but they are 'pretending' to be in order to mislead you, manipulate you, and play head games with you). Think about if you were at a social event, and there was this woman who you were attracted to .... but you never made a move to approach her ... and she never approached you. Both of you are being
"Mode Three." Then, this woman reads my Mode One Book, and when you see her again ... she walks up to you says, "Is there any day this week, or this month, that I could possibly have your dick in my mouth??" You're going to think you hit the lottery. Damn! How Bold! How straightforward! That's how Mode One works. You were attracted to this woman .... but you sort of 'pretended' not to be in order to avoid rejection. She used Mode One, and now your dick is sliding in and out of her mouth. Mode One Baby .... Make It Happen. That's just some of my thoughts..... Did any of you guys see "Good Will Hunting" with Matt Damon and Robin Williams?? If not, it's a good movie. One of the best. But .... there is one scene where Dr. Sean Maguire (Williams) tells Will (Damon), "It's not your fault." Will actually starts crying. It's one of the more emotionally powerful scenes in the movie. Will is this tough, hard-nosed kid from a rough neighborhood who grew up as an orphan, and he has a lot of bitterness. Well, that's how I feel about a lot of guys I meet who have experienced a lot of disappointment and frustrations in their interactions with women. I rarely, if ever, harshly criticize men who have frequently exhibited behavior that was 'weak,' 'timid,' and/or simply ineffective ... because in many ways, it's not their fault. Society, along with the media ... and even many times, our own mothers, aunts, and sisters tend to 'brainwash' us into believing that we should exhibit behavior that is pleasing, impressive, flattering, and/or accommodating to them (women). And that is such bullshit. So ArtistSupreme, that's why it seems 'hard' and challenging to change and eliminate many of your invalid, ineffective beliefs. Because you've absorbed years and years of brainwashing. But ... the past is the past. Today is a new day. Get pumped. Get re-energized. You're on a mission ... ... and that mission continues. I don't really believe in being too quick to offer to 'wine & dine' a woman. Anytime I get the impression that a woman is only looking to share my company for the sake of a free lunch, free dinner, free concert, and etc., then I generally leave her alone. I personally disagree with the idea of "flirting" with women (i.e., expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest in a woman in a 'playful' or 'lighthearted' type manner). You can get away with 'flirting' with a woman who is genuine, and non-manipulative, but if you're dealing with a more savvy, cunning, scheming, manipulative type woman ... "flirting" will cause you to waste a lot of time and ultimately get manipulated. I'll be honest ... I don't approach too many women while they're in close proximity to their girlfriends. I've approached women while they were maybe with one other girlfriend, but when a
woman is with two or more women, I generally don't approach unless I feel I can talk to them oneon-one. I know for a fact: Most women won't respond to 'Mode One' Behavior the way they really want to when they're surrounded by friends. They will typically play the 'semi-prudish' role with you. Now, I've done it a few times though. But it's not so much a 'fear' of being Mode One with women in groups ... because I rarely even talk to women in a Mode Two manner when they're in a large group. Plain and simply, I don't like talking to women in groups of three or more. But, that's just me. I'm sure there have been some guys in the world that might frequently exhibit Mode One Behavior with women while they're in a group. I don't really do the 'nightclub' thing too much (and that's the main place women hang out in groups). I tend to 'extract' a woman (i.e., pull her away from her group) when she's in a group. It's a psychological fact that women behave 'differently' when they're in groups than they do oneon-one. A woman could want to suck your cock as soon as she meets you, but 90-99% chance, if she's with her girlfriends, she's gonna play the 'innocent, wholesome, semi-prudish' role with you. all behavior exhibited by a man towards a woman falls into at least one of the Four Modes Of Verbal Communication. There is no way you couldn't be in any mode. Here's my thing: I approach every woman with the somewhat 'cynical' and/or 'negative' expectation that she is manipulative and/or duplicitous to some degree. Until she proves otherwise, I will always approach a woman with that assumption. Given that, I tend to shy away from "small talk" or "fluff talk." A manipulative woman will engage you in entertaining 'small talk' for literally hours while having no interest in you romantically and/or sexually whatsoever. I said it in one other thread: I've actually lost more opportunities for pussy by engaging in 'small talk' than I've gained. I wrote a post on here telling how one time, I had two women ready to have a threesome with me ... and they eventually lost interest in the idea because I kept engaging in entertaining small talk. I hate small talk. There was a thread, or post, on here about 'injecting humor' into your conversation with a woman. And I replied that I don't put too much emphasis on 'trying to be funny' with women. I'll be 'casually witty' at times, but I'm not trying to be 'Mr. Jokester' for women. That's what happened in this particular situation. I was talking to two women while they were waiting on a ride. I was initially Mode One with them, and put the idea in their heads about having a threesome. They were all for it. Then, instead of just walking away and letting them wait for their ride, I stood there with them and starting crackin' a whole bunch of jokes. On the positive end, I had them laughing ... but on the negative end, they started to look at me as more 'platonic friend' material.
That's why ... with all due respect to David DeAngelo ... I don't really believe in being "Cocky & Funny" with women. I believe more so in "Bold, Cocky and Straight-to-the-point." A man's physical appearance does matter to a degree. If you go out to a social event looking like a man who's homeless, and hasn't taken a bath in 3 months, then of course you're going to have problems. But ... you don't have to look like George Clooney, Shemar Moore, Brad Pitt, or Russell Crowe in order to pull honeys. I've known many guys who were 'less-than-average' looking by society's standards who have been highly successful with women. You can be a great looking, 'pretty boy' type, but if you come across as a lonely, sexually desperate Mode Three loser, you're not going to have much success with women. This is why when you read Mode One, you'll see that I ask a lot of questions at the end of Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 7 that are designed to provoke a high degree of introspective analysis so that you yourself can identify invalid beliefs you possess and/or ineffective attitudes and habits you might have, but are not consciously aware of. For example, if a guy has a bad habit of 'flattering' women too much, I don't simply say, "Stop doing that." I will ask that guy, "Why do you think you tend to express so much flattery to women? What is your motivation for doing that? What 'reward' are you looking for as a result of your excessive flattery?" Questions like these challenge you to go deep into your own psyche to find out the answers. That's what Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior is: Behavior that is weak. Mode Two: When pretty much everything about your behavior is geared towards preventing women from harshly criticizing you, expressing displeasure and/or disapproval of your behavior, or receiving 'negative responses' from women; You tend to exhibit behavior that is pleasing, flattering, and/or accommodating to women with the hope that this woman will 'reward' you with her romantic and/or sexual companionship. Mode Three: When pretty much everything about your behavior is geared towards preventing women from rejecting you, or finding out your real, true desires, interests, and intentions; You tend to exhibit behavior that is phony, duplicitous, misleading, and deceitful; You will often times 'pretend' to only have nothing more than a 'platonic' interest in a woman, when you know deepdown that you're interested in dating that woman, or having casual sex with that woman. Concentrate on self-improvement and the achievement of your most desired goals and objectives. You can't sit around thinking too much or over-analyzing things. You have to consistently take action. What are you 'gaining' by exhibiting behavior that is pleasing and accommodating to others? What is your 'reward' for receiving their 'approval'?? What will you 'lose' if you fail to exhibit the behavior that meets the approval of others? Will you be arrested? Fired from your job? Not invited to any more enjoyable social events by your friends? Not have any favors done for you anymore? What?!?
When you exhibit behavior that is pleasing, flattering, and/or accommodating to women, what is your 'reward' for that? Their romantic companionship? Their sexual companionship? Their platonic friendship?? What? What do you have now that you're afraid of losing from women? What do you not have that you will gain if you do what women want you to do?? You don't have to let me know the answers to those questions ... or anyone else on this message board. You need to answer those questions for yourself. I always tell men: There is never a point in a conversation with a woman where you genuinely don't 'know what to say.' NbdyDsItBttr, anytime you find yourself in a situation where you're "searching for words," what you're really doing ... subconsciously ... is looking for something to say that will guarantee you a 'positive' and/or enthusiastically reciprocal response/reaction. I used to experience the same thing. Anytime I approached a woman, and attached my mind to the specific expectation of receiving a positive, enthusiastic, and reciprocal reaction/response, then I many times found myself not knowing what to say. Classic example: Let's say you're part of a psychological experiment that was going to put you in three different rooms with each room having three women in it. Room "A": Three attractive women, but you've been informed by a close friend of these three women that all of them are very religious, believe in pre-marital celibacy, and only believe in having sex with a man who is their husband. What type of conversation would you have with these three women NbdyDsItBttr? Room "B": Three equally attractive women, but you've been informed by a close friend of these three women that none of them are really into 'casual' sex. They only believe in having sex with a man who is their serious, exclusively committed 'boyfriend.' What type of conversation would you have with these three women NbdyDsItBttr?? Room "C": Three very attractive, very sexy women. All of them are former strippers. A close friend of them tells you that neither one of these three women like "conservative, prudish" type men. They like men who are open-minded, free-spirited, with a 'kinky' edge to them. These women want you to express to them whatever thought is on your mind, no matter how provocative and/or erotically explicit it may be. If you say something that arouses them in the right way, you might find yourself having sex with two of the three women at the same time. With the women in Room 'C', can you honestly tell me that you would have a problem finding 'the right words' to say to these women? Let me know NbdyDsItBttr..... Here's my thing: Did anyone watch comedian Chris Rock when he talked about Anita Hill accusing Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment?? He jokingly said that if a guy who Anita Hill was genuinely attracted to had said some "X-rated" things to her, like movie star Denzel Washington or TV star Shemar Moore, then she would probably just smile, blush, and say, "you're such a naughty, naughty boy...." as opposed to saying, "That was vulgar! That was disgusting!! That was so crass and inappropriate!!"
Main 'message' of Rock's joke: If a woman is genuinely attracted to you, and genuinely interested in sharing your company in the near future, then there is very little ... if anything ... that you could say to her that would truly "turn her off." There are only two types of women that will behave as though they are "turned off" by you when you say something really sexually provocative to them, or exceptionally erotically explicit to them: 1) Women who are either not interested in you at all ... or at minimum, they're only interested in 'using you' for your money and/or flattering attention ... or 2) Women who are interested in you/attracted to you (to one degree or another), but they're 'pretending' to be 'turned off' in order to prevent you from perceiving them as an 'easy', promiscuous 'slut.' (i.e, a "Wholesome Pretender" or "Erotic Hypocrite" - Chapter 6 of my book). With Group #1 ... who cares if they're 'turned off' by you being 'too forward' with your sexual desires, interests, and intentions. 99.9% chance, those women aren't going to give you the pussy anyway. With Group #2 ... these women are just "pretending" to be 'turned off' (like the female physician in that scene from "Talk Dirty To Me"). Deep-down, their pussy is getting more and more moist by the minute. On one end, I'm not saying just walk up to a woman and say, "Hi ... my name is Ralph ... and I want to put my dick in your mouth." At minimum, you have to first "qualify" a woman (i.e., make sure she's not married, make sure she's not psychologically deranged, make sure she's not semi-retarded, make sure she washes her ass on a daily basis, etc.). That's the main reason I usually delay being 'too bold' with sexually straightforward comments; Not so much for 'fear of rejection' or fear of negative reactions, but rather because I want to first get a 'feel' for the type of woman I'm interacting with. Is she cool? Is she a complete bitch? Is she a manipulative type? A gold-digger? Attention Whore? A crazy, psychotic drama queen? I want to first feel that out. Once I know she's the type of woman I would date or have casual sex with .... I will never hesitate to say what is really on my mind (erotically) ... You're putting too much emphasis on using the 'right words' and saying the 'right thing'. Plain and simple. I've noticed a few guys on this message board are looking for "Guaranteed 'Pick-Up' Lines." For the most part, there is no such thing. You need to concentrate more on what attitude you need to have when approaching women. The "I know for a fact that you're interested in me" ultra-confident attitude. THAT is Mode One. All of this talk about 'sexual' words/phrases VS 'non-sexual' words/phrases is bullshit. That concern is secondary. You can be Mode Two and have a sexually explicit conversation with a woman. You can be Mode Three and have a sexually explicit conversation with a woman. X-rated Mode Three Behavior:
You (to the woman): "You know ... I was over my best friend's house, and he had this really kinky porno movie on...." Her: "Really? How kinky?" You: "This woman was really sucking the hell out of this guy's cock! I mean, she had his cock all in her mouth!" Her: "Wow. I wish I could've seen that!!" You: "And then, he just ripped off her clothes ... and started fucking her!!! I mean, HARD! His cock was all in her pussy!!" Her: "Wow!! You have me so horny ... I'm going to go home right now and have my loving boyfriend of three years fuck me good like that!!!" Were you sexual? yes. Were you "X-rated"? yes. Were you 'Mode One'?? Not at all. Not once did you qualify her to see if she was single/unmarried, and see if she was interested in sharing your company in the near future one-on-one. You never expressed any sort of true interest to her. All you did was talk about X-rated action in a porno movie. X-rated Mode Two Behavior: You (to the woman): "You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen!!" Her (flattered): "Why, thank you!!" You: "I want to invite you to dinner with me .... at one of the best restaurants in town!!" Her: "I'm impressed!!" You: "I hope you're like my ex-girlfriend. Good food got her really horny...." Her: "Really ... interesting...." You: "She loved to fuck right after dinner. I love a woman who loves to fuck after dinner..." Her: "You are so forward!" You: "My bad. I just love to fuck though. Fucking is the #1 thing on my mind every week..." Her: "Right now .... let's just concentrate on what restaurant you're going to take me to! We can talk about sex sometime in the future...." Were you sexual? yes. Were you "X-rated"? yes. Were you 'Mode One'?? Nope. Too much flattery and you were too quick to offer to 'wine & dine' her. And ... for the most part ... you engaged in too much "small talk," even though it was sexual 'small talk.' Mode One Behavior without even having to be 'X-rated' You (to the woman): "So ... you want to share my company next Friday or next Saturday?" Her (caught off guard): "Excuse me...." You: "You're excused." Her: "I don't even know you...." You: "And that is exactly why you need to share my company. So we can become very acquainted with one another...." Her: "I don't normally do that...." You: "I'm special. I don't want you to do what you 'normally' do with other men." Her: "Well aren't you very self-assured...." You: "You have no idea. Modesty prevents me from expounding on that...." Her: "Wow .... you are something else ...." You: "Wait until we share some quality time together...." Her: "Is this your attempt to seduce me...." You: "You tell me." Her: "Alright. I'll bite. I'm single, and I haven't shared the company of a man who really intrigues me in a while. Let's say next Saturday..."
You: "Next Saturday it is. My place or yours...." Her: "Mine...." You: "Cool...." Were you sexual? just a little bit. Were you "X-rated"? Not at all. Were you 'Mode One'?? HELL YES. You qualified, expressed interest, and closed. You forced her to either a) reciprocate your interests ... or b) reject your interests. That's what Mode One is all about..... You see, this is the primary reason why I don't have too many specific examples of dialogue with women in my Mode One book. Some guys have criticized that. "Where are the pick-up lines??" "Show me some examples of what you say to women!!" Many times, I'm reluctant to do that, because I don't want 100 guys simply trying to 'memorize' what I said to a woman in my past, or getting the idea that you have to 'rehearse' some catch-phrases in your head before approaching a woman. What I said to "Linda" in 2003 might not be the best thing for you to say to "Ingrid" in 2007. Again, exhibiting Mode One Behavior is not specifically about using sexually explicit language or being "X-rated" with women. It's about behaving in the manner that makes you feel the most selfassured, relaxed, and comfortable when conversing with women, and expressing to women why it is you really want to share their company without any fear of the possibility of being rejected, criticized, or receiving a 'negative'/adverse reaction from them. Learning the principles and philosophies of Mode One Behavior is like learning to drive a stick (i.e., manual transmission in an automobile) for the very first time. Initially, you have to consciously think about what gear to shift to, and when. Once you've had a lot of practice, then it becomes 'natural.' I feel the same way about shifting from Mode Two and/or Mode Three to Mode One, and then, even more specifically, determining when to be "PG-13" Mode One, "R-rated" Mode One, or "X-rated" Mode One. After a while ... with practice and consistent use of Mode One ... it sort of becomes 'natural' to you. My question is, why would you really want to be Mode Three with any woman (i.e., pretend to have only a 'platonic' interest in a woman when you know deep-down that you have a romantic and/or sexual interest in a woman)?? Most men are already Mode Two (i.e., engaging in entertaining, flattering 'small talk' prior to letting your true interests be known) anyway, so why would you want to be Mode Two? You wouldn't be on this message board if Mode Two Behavior was truly benefiting you. What all guys need to do is simply practice being bold, upfront, straightforward, and unapologetic with women. That doesn't necessarily mean go out and be "X-rated" with the next ten women you meet. Just say some of the things that are really on your mind to women without attaching any specific "expectation" to the woman's anticipated response or reaction. Just see what happens....
I tell men constantly: Exhibiting "Mode One" Behavior is not about 'learning a new form of behavior,' but rather, it's pretty much just the opposite ... as I pointed out on my last podcast episode of the "Black Book Cafe." We as men tend to be brainwashed and conditioned to adopt a lot of attitudes, beliefs, and habits related to interacting with women that are weak, overly-accommodating, invalid, and/or ineffective. We have to almost get to a point where we have to completely "re-program" the way we think, as far as how we approach and converse with women. f you're a man who claims to be 'self-confident,' then there is no way you can advocate lying to women and manipulating them. It's a blatant contradiction. The root source of all lies and manipulative tactics is fear. The fear of criticism, the fear of negative and/or unenthusiastic reactions, the fear of not having your desires, interests, and intentions reciprocated (i.e., rejection), and the fear plain and simply of wanting something from someone (e.g., a woman's romantic and/or sexual companionship) and not being able to get it. A truly self-confident man has no fears of this sort. When you are bold, upfront, straightforwardly honest, and unapologetic with women ... when you fail to get what you want (e.g., sex, romantic attention), you're able to accept it and move on. When you are deceptive, misleading, and manipulative with women ... and you fail to get what you want, you tend to become angry, frustrated, and misogynistically bitter. You cannot genuinely be confident when you are a pathological liar and/or emotional manipulator. Why would someone like Zan engage in 'entertaining small talk' just for the heck of it?? That's cool for platonic female friends, but for a woman you're interested in dating or having [casual] sex with?? Why?? I personally don't believe in talking about anything that is not going to directly or indirectly help me make a decision whether or not to continue to pursue a woman's romantic/sexual companionship ... or stop pursuing a woman's romantic/sexual companionship. How does Zan identify women who are not interested in him, but "pretending" to be in order to mislead him, manipulate him, and/or just generally waste his time? That's why I personally dislike 'small talk.' When you're interacting with a woman who is down-to-earth, non-manipulative, and has a genuine interest in dating you or having sex with you, then I don't think a few minutes of 'small talk' is all that detrimental. But when you're interacting with a manipulative, duplicitous attention whore, gold digger, cock teaser, or time waster, then 'small talk' is very detrimental. I rarely talk to a woman with a "I want to fuck you right now, tonight" attitude. Actually, probably 90% of my immediate one-night stand type interactions have been on the woman's suggestion ... not mine. Please ... do not analyze, evaluate, and/or critique my style of approach until you thoroughly understand it, and that is only accomplished by reading my book.
I generally define "small talk" as any conversation you have that is a) disingenuous (i.e., you really don't have a sincere interest in the subject matter that you're discussing, but you're talking about that subject matter simply as a means of pleasing, flattering, and/or accommodating the woman you're interacting with) and b) is irrelevant to making a decision to continue to pursue this woman, or not pursue this woman. What it sounds like is that Zan doesn't really engage in "small talk," as much as he engages in a lengthy form of "qualifying conversation." I don't really have a criticism of that. An example of 'small talk' would be, say you're talking to a woman who is married ... but you're not asking any questions and/or making any comments that would lead her to tell you that. Or ... you meet a woman who you want to have casual sex with ... but let's say she's a lesbian ... what question would you ask, or comment would you make, to find that out?? Bottom line: If a woman is genuinely not interested in me, I want to find that out within the first five minutes of my conversation with her rather than after engaging in 30-45 minutes of entertaining "small talk." Because the reality is, even women who have absolutely NO INTEREST in you will engage in 'entertaining small talk' if you allow them to. The real truth of the matter is, Mode One Behavior is not for everyone. My older brother tells guys that all of the time. For some guys, I think a variation of Mode Two Behavior is more suited to them. But again ... for clarification purposes ... this is what I feel are the characteristics of "small talk": a) Talking to a woman about subject matter in an insincere, disingenuous manner b) Talking about subject matter that does not allow you to "qualify" a woman (i.e., find out if she's single VS married; heterosexual VS lesbian; has religious issues against pre-marital sex, casual sex, or both; is she visiting from out-of-town or does she live in town; etc.) c) Talking to a woman in a manner that does not 'force' her to either acknowledge an interest in sharing your company one-on-one in the future, or acknowledge a lack of interest in sharing your company (i.e., you allow her to operate in what I refer to as "the ambiguous zone") d) Conversing with a woman in a manner that results in her seeing you as more so 'platonic friend' material rather than potential boyfriend and/or potential lover material Anytime your conversation with that woman has one or more of the above four characteristics, you are (in my opinion anyway) engaging in a form of "entertaining (yet unproductive) small talk." Again, sorry if it seemed like I was "attacking" you, or harshly "calling you out," but the reality is, there are a percentage of guys on this message board who will comment on their perceived 'strengths' and 'weaknesses' of The Mode One Approach, and they haven't even read my book yet. And honestly, that tends to irritate me. You're lucky if you've never, ever exhibited Mode Three Behavior towards women. I'm the author of Mode One, and even I have exhibited Mode Three Behavior at different times in my younger years. The portion of your comments in bold is the key: You even acknowledge that if you had known about the principles of Mode One years ago, you would've been able to quickly identify the "time wasters" in your life. That's the main objective of Mode One Behavior.
Most men simply look at Mode One as an "Attraction" book and/or a "Seduction" book. But to be honest, it is neither. Attracting and/or seducing women are simply by-products or "fringe benefits" of exhibiting Mode One Behavior. But that is not the specific focus of Mode One. The Top Two objectives of exhibiting Mode One Behavior are these: 1) To get to a point where you have totally conquered your fears of being rejected, harshly criticized, disliked, and/or ignored. Comment: Anytime you're still at a point where being rejected by women profoundly affects you and your sense of self-confidence, then that means you have not truly absorbed the principles of Mode One Behavior. If you're still dreadfully afraid of receiving 'adverse' and/or 'negative reactions' from women ... then that means you haven't fully adopted the Mode One Attitude. 2) To get to a point where you're able to quickly identify one of these two types of women: i) Women who are interested in you, but who are "pretending" not to be in order to see what sort of 'incentives' and/or 'rewards' you're going to offer to them in exchange for their romantic and/or sexual companionship; ii) Women who are not interested in you, but who are "pretending" to be in order to mislead you, manipulate you, play 'head games' with you, or get you to be another one of their 'platonic play brothers.' Comment: Identifying women who are not genuinely interested in you is just as important, if not slightly more important, than identifying the women who are truly interested in you. At least half of the reason I wrote Mode One is to prevent men who are "frustrated Mr. Nice Guy" types from being 'used' by women, and having their time wasted by women. user9917: In regards to your post, I'm naturally like that with most women. That attitude in that 'rehearsed script' is definitely representative of a Mode One attitude ... more or less ... but my only minor difference of opinion is a) I don't really believe in pre-meditated 'scripts' ... and b) I don't tend to verbally emphasize the "Second Road" and the "Third Road." For me, those are givens. I just tend to emphasize the "First Road" (i.e., the woman and I hooking up for romance and/or sex) But that was good stuff nonetheless... As you just alluded to ... there is a huge difference between avoiding small talk, and approaching a woman and simply saying "I want to fuck you..." (or a close variation of that). I can name times when I wasn't 'sexually provocative' and/or 'erotically explicit' with a woman at all and still managed to totally avoid 'small talk'. Like I wrote in the post above ... if you want to know my "four characteristics" of what makes your conversation representative of "small talk," just read that post. I've never told ALL MEN to avoid 'small talk,' or for that matter, to exhibit Mode One Behavior. You have to do what works for you. In other words, if you've lost weight using a low-calorie diet, or a low-fat diet, I'm not going to try to 'persuade' you or 'coerce' you into trying a low-carb diet. For what? But if you came to me, and said, "Alan ... the results from my low-calorie and low-fat diets have left me feeling frustrated and bitter. Do you have any suggestions for a more effective diet?" Then, that's
when I'm going to say, "Why don't you try the low-carb diet ... it's worked for me ...." That's my analogy for how I promote Mode One. I don't come to men trying to 'force' them to see things my way. What I do is wait for men to come to me with their frustrations and disappointments, and I offer Mode One as an alternative solution to their problems. Again .. if "shooting the shit" with women works for you ... go for it. But for me? I don't have time to waste 'shooting the shit' with women who I have not yet identified as having a genuine interest in me. I said once before: I look at the "Direct Method" school of thought as the "Overall Guiding Philosophy," and specific forms of direct approaches such as 'Mode One' as 'sub-categories.' Sort of like you have "LOW CARB DIETS," and then underneath that general umbrella, you have The Atkins Diet, The South Beach Diet, The Zone Diet, The Protein Shake Diet, etc. I look at my "Mode One Principles" as just one specific structure for exhibiting upfront, direct behavior towards women. For me, it starts with what are your desires, interests, and intentions regarding sharing a woman's company? What is your primary reason for wanting to spend time with her?? One-night stand? Weekend fling? Indefinite, long-term, non-monogamous sex? Short-term monogamous sex? Long-term, indefinite, monogamous sex? (i.e., a 'serious' relationship) Nothing more than platonic friendship initially ... but then 'see where it goes' from there? I would venture to say that all men ... when they first meet a woman ... possess one of these six desires when they first meet a woman who they are physically attracted to. So now that we have your desires, interests, and intentions determined ... the next step is, how do you go about communicating your desires, interests, and intentions? In my experiences and observations, most men communicate their desires, interests, and intentions in one of three ways: - Directly (i.e., Mode One Behavior): You lay your cards on the table and see what happens. You don't try to 'hide,' 'deny,' or 'camouflage' anything about what you want from a woman, or why you want it. - Indirectly (i.e., Mode Two Behavior): You don't initially let your true desires and interests be known; You sort of 'delay' letting your true intentions be known. First, you attempt to get a woman to feel 'comfortable' in your presence, and try to get her to 'like' you. To look at you as 'nonthreatening.' Then, once you feel like a woman is very 'comfortable' talking to you, then you at some point let her know what your interests are. - Not at all (i.e., Mode Three Behavior): Some men actually never make their true desires known to women. They either a) don't approach women at all ... or b ) they approach women, but immediately 'pretend' as though they're looking for nothing other than a series of 'platonic' interactions. There is at least one more form of verbal communication I highlight in my book, and that would be
Mode Four Behavior. Mode Four is when you straightforwardly communicate your desires to a woman after-the-fact, or because of resentment and bitterness towards the female gender. (example: "What do you mean you're not interested in me? Why are you telling me now after I spent $150 on two dates with you?? Well, truth be told ... the only reason I asked you out is because I wanted to fuck you doggy style!!!!" You're being straightforward ... but only after you've already been rejected) With all due respect to Ranko ... who quite honestly I'm not that familiar with ... I in no way, shape, or form have tried to "borrow" from his "direct" philosophy. I've been using the term "direct" since like the mid-to-late 80s. My first 'mentor', so to speak (even though I've never met him in real life yet, but we have communicated by mail, and he has a copy of 'Mode One') was adult film actor/writer/director/producer John Leslie. That's when I first discovered what it meant to be truly 'direct.' When I saw "Talk Dirty To Me" and "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" for the first time. That's when I was like, "Wow! I never knew you could talk to women like that and get away with it." I don't think you can say that Ranko has a 'copyright' on the Direct Philosophy. He might have a patent on his own particular brand of being 'direct' with women, but a lot of guys encourage and promote methods of approaching and conversing with women that are representative of being "direct." I define direct as a "no apologies, no excuses, no explanations, to-the-point" style of communicating your desires, interests, and intentions to a woman. Actually, for the most part, I totally agree with your assessment here. I always tell guys: "Mode One" is not solely or specifically about 'attraction' and/or 'seduction.' I feel like attracting and seducing women will happen naturally once you start exhibiting Mode One Behavior on a consistent, month-to-month, week-to-week basis. I don't believe in going up to a woman and "trying" to attract her. Here is my problem(s) with putting too much emphasis on "results," "reactions," and "responses": 1) A woman's response to your behavior is out of your control. Sure, to one degree or another, you can attempt to 'influence' a woman's response to your behavior by exhibiting behavior that is pleasing to her, flattering to her, or accommodating to her, but ultimately, how she responds to you is under her control. I emphasize that men should control those factors which they have control over. That is a) how they behave towards women and b ) how they allow women to behave towards them. 2) In my experience and observation, when you put too much emphasis on receiving a 'positive' and/or 'reciprocal' response from women, you generally tend to open yourself up to be misled, manipulated, or 'played' by women. Trying too hard to get positive, enthusiastic, reciprocal responses from women comes from a fear of rejection and/or a fear of harsh criticism. Once women know that you're afraid of either (rejection or criticism), they will engage in very subtle "manipulative head games" with you. Trust me on this ... I've seen it TIME and TIME again. Especially when I lived in Los Angeles, California. Skilled manipulators prey on men who try to receive "positive" reactions from them. 3) Finally, when you put a lot of emphasis on receiving a 'positive' and/or 'reciprocal' reaction ... and then, you don't get it ... you tend to end up feeling angry, frustrated, and/or bitter. Example: You walk past a woman, smile at her, and then stop her to say, "Wow. You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life!!" If she says, "Why thank you!! That was so nice of you to say!!!", then you feel good about yourself.
But what if instead, she says, "Fuck you, you pervert! Don't ever approach me, or talk to me again! You weirdo!!"?? I can pretty much guarantee you that 95-99.9% chance, you're going to feel pissed off to one degree or another. You're going to feel like, "I was 'nice' and 'flattering' to that woman ... and she didn't 'reward' my 'niceness' and flattery with a positive response! That BITCH." Example #2: You meet a woman, engage in entertaining small talk with her for an hour or so, you exchange phone numbers, and then finally, you go on 2, 3, or 4 dates with her spending an average of $40 - $75 per date. Now, if at the end of the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date, she ends up having sex with you ... or at least telling you that she wants to date you ... you're feeling fine, right? Sure you are. But what if after the 3rd or 4th date, she says, "Karl ... you have been such a nice guy ... a perfect gentleman ... but truth be told, I have no interest in you romantically and/or sexually. Actually, I got back with my ex-boyfriend just yesterday. But I would love to be 'good friends' with you!! Is that okay?" You feign a smile, but in reality, you're pissed. All of those long conversations, all of the money spent on those dates, for nothing. Bottom line: There is no way ... I don't care how much of a 'guru' you are ... that you can guarantee any man that they will be able to date each and every woman they approach ... or seduce each and every woman they meet into having sex with them. Any author, speaker, or 'guru' that says otherwise is lying to you and feeding you a bunch of bullshit. There is no 'gimmick' or 'technique' that works with every woman. Number one, I don't care about getting a woman to 'like' me. When you attempt to get a woman to 'like' you, then that means that ultimately, she is the one in control of that interaction. And like I said above ... there is no "technique" or "gimmick" that will help you be successful with all women you meet. If anyone tells you differently, they're bullshitting you. You cannot get a woman to become interested in you, if she's just 100%, flat-out, point-blank not interested in you. If a woman who was obese, repulsively ugly, and had three teeth in her mouth read "Mode One," or listened to Ranko's CD, would she be able to now attract you? Hell no. What I do believe a man can do is get women to acknowledge to you that they do indeed have some degree of interest in you when they weren't willing to admit that to you before. Now that, I do believe in. If a woman is interested in you ... but for whatever reason, she is 'hiding' that from you or 'pretending' that she is not interested in you ... then I believe Mode One Behavior will eventually get her to come clean with her true attraction and interest for you. Now you're using "Seduction Community" jargon. I don't use terms like "Inner Game" in my book. I don't use terms like "Pick up artist" or "Sarging" or "Calibrating" in my book. Those are all "Seduction Community" terms. I don't really consider myself a "seduction guru," even though a lot of men I know have flattered me with such titles. My main emphasis is about primarily two things: 1) Conquering your fear of rejection, your fear of harsh criticisms, and your fear of 'negative' reactions so that you can feel free to act the way you want to act with women, and express yourself in a manner that is naturally confident, upfront, and forthright; and
2) Get to a point where you are able to quickly identify those women who are genuinely interested in you VERSUS those women who are just looking to manipulate you, and generally waste your time. If it's only the "results" that matter (for example, having sex with an attractive woman), then why not just skip all of the bullshit, and shell out $250 - $500 to fuck an exceptionally attractive Call Girl or Erotic Escort for an evening?? If it's only the "results" that matter, and you don't want to be a virgin anymore, why not just fuck your sister's fat, not-so-attractive friend that has been flirting with you for months?? If it's only the "results" that matter, then why not put up a personal ad on online casual sex sites such as "Adult Friend Finder" and "Midnight Booty Call.com"?? If it's only the "results" that matter, why not get one of your female classmates or co-workers really, really drunk, and then take advantage of her while she's inebriated?? GETTING SOME PUSSY IS EASY. Mode One goes beyond just simply "getting some pussy." Pussy doesn't solve the problems of invalid beliefs and ineffective habits and attitudes. In the United States, there is a basketball coach in the college ranks who was legendary. His name was John Wooden, former men's basketball coach of the UCLA Bruins in Los Angeles. In the 60s and 70s, he won ten National Championships. More than any other men's coach in history. I was watching a special on cable-tv where many of his players talked about the key(s) to his success. You know what they said about him?? He never specifically talked about "winning" in practice. Now Karl, that totally contradicts your attitude and philosophy. If Wooden was to adopt your way of thinking, then he would have been all about "winning." I mean, after all, don't all college basketball coaches want to win their games?? I mean, who wants to lose, right? But interesting enough, Wooden never emphasized "winning" to his players. He told his players, "If you concentrate on dribbling the ball in the correct manner ... rebounding the ball in the correct manner ... shooting free throws in the correct manner ... and just mastering the fundamentals of the game in a correct manner ... then 'winning' will more or less take care of itself." His attitude was, "Concentrate on what you have control over .... which is playing good, fundamentally sound basketball ... and don't worry yourself with the potential 'outcome.'" This is how I am in regards to the principles of Mode One. When you focus too much on the "result," you'll keep changing and modifying your methods, and your behavior, until you keep getting the 'result' you want. If flattery doesn't work ... you'll try 'wining & dining.' If 'wining & dining' doesn't work, you'll try NLP. If NLP doesn't work ... you'll try hypnosis. If hypnosis doesn't work ... you might try putting ecstasy in a woman's drink. Men put way more emphasis on women's physical appearance than women do on men's physical appearance. That ... I agree with. But that's not to say that ANY MAN ... no matter what he looks like ... is capable of attracting ANY WOMAN ... simply because he read a good book that centers on "psychological tricks," "techniques," and "gimmicks" geared towards attracting any woman he wants to.
I don't care who you are ... you are never going to attract "any" woman you want to. That is impossible. You might attract 20% of the women you meet ... 30% ... 40% ... even 50% or higher. But you will never get 100% of the women you meet to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual interests. Trust me Palo ... I've had many conversations with many women ... and the realistic fact of the matter is, some women are simply not attracted to some men, and nothing is going to change that. I know some women who love tall men ... other women who hate tall men. I know some women who love "pretty boy" types ... while other women love "rough & rugged" looking men. Some women only like men of their own race/ethnicity while other women are open to dating guys of other races & ethnicities. Bottom line ... it is my firm belief ... that you cannot make a woman who is totally, 100% not interested in you 'magically' become interested in you. As I said a dozen times before ... the closest you can do to accomplishing a similar objective is, you can make a woman who is pretending not to be interested in you acknowledge that she does indeed have some degree of interest in you. That, you can do on a regular basis. But if you are just flat-out not a woman's "type" ... there is very little, if anything, you can do to create genuine interest in that woman for you. Don't confuse a woman having an interest in manipulating you with a genuine interest. A woman will "toy" with a guy who is not her type at all. if you're simply saying that it is easier for a man to attract a woman with his non-physical appearance related qualities and characteristics than it is for a woman to do the same, I agree with you on that point. A man can use attributes such as his personal charm, charisma, confidence, humor, wit, intelligence, and so on to compensate for what he doesn't offer physically much more than a woman can do the same. But again ... that still doesn't mean that "any man can attract & seduce any woman he meets." All men are going to get rejected by some percentage of women they approach. What I always tell men is, you cannot really "create" interest in a woman that isn't there simply by being confident in your approach. That's the "bad" news. The "good" news is, you can definitely enhance and/or increase interest that is already present in a woman. And also, you can get women to acknowledge interest that they're reluctant to confess to. That's why I wrote "Mode One" ... I don't really believe in "flirting" with women, but that's just me. Flirting is more or less a "buffer" against criticism and rejection. In other words, when you 'flirt' with women ... you're saying to them subconsciously, "I'm interested in you ... and if you take me serious, then I'm being serious ... but if you're about to criticize me and/or reject me, then I'm just 'joking' ...." Just because women ask you personal questions doesn't [necessarily] mean they want to date you and/or have sex with you. Remember the movie "Swingers"?? Those women were talking to Mike (Jon Favreau) in a very "personal" manner, but they didn't want to hook up with him. If the case is now, one or more of those women have a genuine interest in you ... then it would be my bet that they always did have some degree of interest in you, but now, you've given them the motivation and opportunity to acknowledge it. I've read Greene's book. Greene totally is about both blatant and subtle forms of manipulation.
That is where he and I differ dramatically. I'm not in favor of any methods of attracting and/or seducing women that involve being deceptive or manipulative. Greene, on the other hand, is unapologetic about the fact that he definitely favors manipulative head games in order to seduce women. The gist of his book is, if you meet a woman who is a vegetarian ... then you would want to behave as though you are one too ... or at minimum, behave as though you're on the verge of adopting such a lifestyle in order to accomplish your romantic and/or sexual objectives. His methods are many times effective ... I won't deny that. The poster Karl (Mr. Results Is What Counts!) would love Greene's book. But I wouldn't compare the principles of Mode One Behavior to Greene's tactics at all.... You made comments that implied that Greene's methods sort of "incorporate" the philosophies of the direct school of thought, as well as Mode One Behavior. If I misread you, then my bad. But if that is indeed what you were implying, then I disagree. Greene's methods are totally manipulative. He himself admits to that. I guess it depends on how you define "flirting." I distinguish between simply expressing your interests to a woman, and flirting with a woman. Expressing your interests to a woman: "I'm very interested in having casual sex with you ... how soon would you like to share my company and exchange orgasms ...." "Flirting": "Linda ... I have to tell you ... you look really damn sexy in that dress!! You're making me have all sorts of 'naughty' thoughts!! (chuckles)" You see the difference? One example forces the woman to either reciprocate your interests, or not reciprocate your interests. The second example ("flirting") doesn't really require the woman to commit to any sort of direct response. She could just laugh ... giggle ... say, "Oh Alan ... you're so bad!" ... or facetiously say, "Well I'll have to wear this dress more often!!" That's my definition of flirting. Now what you call flirting, I might call simply expressing your interests. Expressing your interests: being direct & specific; forcing a woman to either reciprocate your interests, or not reciprocate your interests Flirting: Expressing attraction, or romantic and/or sexual interest in a manner that is vague, ambigious, and lighthearted or playful. You don't really force a woman to commit to a definite "yes, I'm interested" response or a "No, I'm not interested response." That's my take.... Resistance is not rejection. And rejection, if it happens, is no big deal. I never argue with men's personal experiences. If your brand of "flirting" works for you ... go for it. I agree about creating a "trust" factor ... but I've established trust in 5-10 minutes ... not 60 minutes.
You all are making exhibiting Mode One Behavior synonymous with saying things like, "Wanna fuck?" And that is not what Mode One is exclusively about. Mode One is bigger and deeper than that. That's what got me started on the Mode One path back in the early-to-mid 80s. I found myself talking to women, but deep-down saying to myself, "Alan ... you are being so full of shit right now. You know good and well that you don't care about the things you're actually talking about...." So finally, I said 'fuck it. I'm going to be REAL with women from now on....' I read that book a long time ago, like in the mid-to-late 80s. I remember it being a pretty good book that describes how your mind, and your manner of thinking, affect your attitudes, beliefs, perceptions of yourself, daily habits, etc. [Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz] One of the things I try to get across to men with my book is, "Rejection is always a Win-Win situation." Most men look at rejection from women as a 'bad' thing, a 'negative' thing, or a 'failure.' I totally disagree. I would rather be rejected by a woman any day than be misled by a woman, manipulated by a woman, and/or have my valuable time wasted by a woman. Why is rejection "Win-Win"?? 1) If a woman is genuinely not interested in you, then you WIN because you're saving yourself valuable time. You're not wasting time pursuing a woman who has no interest in you. Manipulative women will waste time engaging in misleading, deceptive 'head games' with you if you allow them to. 2) If a woman does have some degree of attraction for you, and interest in you, but she's pretending not to be interested in you by 'rejecting' you at this moment, then again ... you WIN. Why? Because 90-99% chance, that woman ... at some point in the future ... is going to seek out your attention and companionship again. And when she does, you'll clearly have the "upper hand." I've had women reject me in say, mid-December ... only to seek out my attention in March, April, or May of the next year. I remember once, I met this woman at a fashion show ... was Mode One with her, and she rejected me. Told me that I was an "asshole" and a "shallow jerk" because I told her that all I wanted to do was fuck her. Sure enough, about five to six weeks later ... this same woman calls me out of the blue, and basically asks me when can she come see me. I fucked her silly. I always like to get women to reject me in a specific and straightforward manner. Always. Why? Because manipulative women don't like to reject men. Try it yourself. See what I'm talking about. Some women will literally refuse to straightforwardly reject you, even if they know they will never date you or have sex with you. Why? Because they want to 'string you along' and play games with you. They want to manipulate you. Only non-manipulative women will not hesitate to reject you in an upfront and straightforward manner. You should actually be thankful when women reject you quickly, specifically, and straightforwardly. That's why I always say ... the #1 objective of exhibiting Mode One Behavior should always be simply to exhibit Mode One Behavior. To some, that sounds redundant ... but it's really not. You should never concentrate on preventing and/or avoiding criticisms from women or negative reactions/responses from women ... and you should never concentrate on preventing and/or avoiding rejection. The only thing you should concentrate on with women is being Mode One. Let
the results, reactions, and responses take care of themselves. The reality is, most women already know that when a man approaches them, that they want to fuck them. Ask any reasonably attractive woman, and they will tell you that (if they're being honest). Here's the thing: When you approach a woman ... and you try to "hide," "deny," or "camouflage" the fact that you want to fuck them ... you may THINK that you're avoiding being perceived as a "shallow jerk" or some other similar criticism ... but the reality is, you're actually setting yourself up to be manipulated. Example: Objective: You want to fuck a woman Scenario "A" (You're straightforward about it) Him: You know the only reason I want to share your company is because I want to fuck you.... Her: That is so shallow. I am not interested in having a one-night stand or weekend fling. Him: Okay. I'll allow you to get some dick for three weeks instead of one week. Her: I beg your pardon?? Him: Look at you ... begging already ... Her: Why you!! I've never.... Him: And you never will get me to fuck you if you keep acting all 'prudish' about it... Her: This conversation is over!! Time invested: Two or three minutes. Money invested: $0.00 Scenario "B" (You want to fuck her, but you try to 'hide it') Him: Want to go out to dinner sometime? Her: Sure!! Name the day and the time... Him: Next Saturday, 8pm Her: Cool!! Fast foward to next Saturday... Her: Thank you for the dinner. It was great!! Him: My pleasure. He drives her home. Attempts to get a kiss, but she rejects him. Her: I'm not ready to move that fast just yet.... Him: Okay. What about another date? Her: Sure!! Him: We'll go see Bono in concert next week.... Her: Aren't those tickets kind of expensive?? Him: Don't worry about it!! Fast forward to the next week, right after the concert Her: I had such a great time at that concert!! Him: I'm glad. (pause) You want to come back to my place? Her: I would love to ... but I really need to get home. He drives her home. Tries to get a kiss again. She kisses him on the CHEEK. No tongue.
Him: Moving too fast again? Her: (giggles) Just a little bit. Him: You want to play miniature golf next weekend?? Her: Sure!!! Him: Okay! I'll pick you up.... Fast forward to the next week, right after some rounds of miniature golf Her: You were pretty good! Him: Well, you weren't so bad yourself. Her: I had such a great time. Him: Me too. (pause) Listen ... I'm gonna be honest ... I am really attracted to you ... and I have to tell you, if you don't mind, that you turn me on sexually. A LOT. I think we have a lot of chemistry... Her: Oh, that is so sweet ... it really is ... but I have to be truthful. I don't really 'feel' anything for you romantically and/or sexually. I wish I did ... but I just don't. But I would LOVE for us to remain friends!! Him: Friends? Her: Yes! We can hang out .... go bowling together ... and do other fun stuff!!! Him (now in Mode Four): Are you crazy?? You BITCH. How come you didn't tell me all of this before I spent all that money on your bitch ass. The only reason I took you out was because I wanted have sex with you ... BITCH ... Her (offended): I have to go now.... you're scaring me .... Him: Fuck you bitch! You USED ME ... you had me 'wine & dine' you and shit... fuck you bitch!! She exits the car. He follows her, and grabs her by the wrist. Her: I'm gonna call the police ... you weirdo!!! Let me go!!! Him: Bitch!!! You didn't even give me a kiss!!! You bitch!!!! Do I need to go on? Time invested: Hours of phone conversations, 3 dates lasting about 2-3 hours each Money invested: $$ for dinner, $$ for the concert, and $$ for the miniature golf Result: No pussy ... not even a kiss Are you fellas still afraid of rejection?? If I'm gonna be rejected ... I'd rather it be in "Scenario A" fashion than "Scenario B" fashion. I'll get over a Scenario A type rejection in a matter of minutes, or maybe an hour or so. When I've been rejected in a Scenario B manner, it sometimes took me days, weeks .. even months to get over it. I felt so angry, frustrated, and bitter, I didn't know what to do. Sometimes, you have to make women be very specific. Some women will play 'word games' with you. I had that happen to me about 3 summers ago. I met this woman ... and she kept calling me. I wasn't really that interested in her, but one weekend ... I was going to a meeting near her place in Suburban Chicago, so I told her "I'm going to spend the night at your place on Friday night...." She said, "Okay ... cool!" Now, in my mind, I thought I had made it clear that I wanted to fuck her ... but I didn't. Sure enough, when I tried to advance past kissing and basic making out into fucking, she was like, "Slow down partner!! I'm not going to have sex with you, if that's what you're thinking." I was a little pissed. I was like, "I told you I was spending the night here ... I didn't need to spend the night to just kiss and make out..." She said, "I never said I wanted you to come over and fuck me tonight. You just said you were coming over to spend the night. I don't really associate spending the night with having sex." Lesson learned.
Specific language prevents any and all sorts of game-playing. So I don't totally agree that BigMack would be in the wrong for making a woman specifically say, "I want to suck your dick." Because, he might go over her place ... and then, when he pulls his dick out, she might say, "I never said I was going to suck your dick. I just want you to suck my tits and kiss me...." Sometimes, you have to be very specific. That's why, generally speaking, I don't like it when women are "vague," "ambiguous," or "too general" when it seems like they're reciprocating your interests. The most classic example of this is asking a woman out to lunch, dinner, or a movie. A lot of times, men tend to assume that this is synonymous with saying, "I'm interested in you...," but in reality, it's not. Most women who are not interested in you at all will often times accept an invitation to lunch, dinner, or a movie. I know a guy I used to work with asked a woman out to lunch, only to find out at the end of the lunch that she was a lesbian, and had no interest in dating him or having sex with him. Bold, upfront, specific, and straightforward. Mode One. If you're actually dating a woman ... meaning, you and a woman are already "boyfriend-girlfriend," but you two haven't had sex yet ... then that is when I believe in "building up" erotic tension between a couple. I see it as a good thing. But for casual sex? Non-monogamous sexual situations? Nope. Sorry, but I don't believe in "playful sexual banter" between a man and a woman who are not dating. I'll say this though: If you genuinely want to carry on "playful sexual banter" with a woman ... and you know within yourself that if she decides to never, ever give you the pussy, you wouldn't feel agitated, frustrated, or bitter towards her .... then by all means, go for it. Did you see "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II", in the last scene? When Jack (John Leslie) finally gets Dr. Anne Childs (Bridget Monet) to have sex with him? Right before he fucks her, he makes her say, "I want you to fuck me..." That's more my style. I want women to specifically tell me what they want me to do to them. My advice: Watch out for [manipulative] women playing deceptive 'word games' with you. You might find yourself in a situation where a woman is accusing you of 'date rape' to the police.... I keep reiterating this over and over and over and over again.... If you make receiving a "positive" and/or "reciprocal" reaction from women your #1 objective, you're never going to consistently exhibit Mode One Behavior. You cannot attach yourself to specific outcomes, specific reactions, or specific responses. When you are truly Mode One ... ... you are Mode One when you get the pussy, and when you don't ... ... you are Mode One when you receive harsh criticisms from women, and when you don't ...
... you are Mode One with women who are interested in you, and with women who are not ... Mode One is about the behavior itself ... not the results. Have any of you fellas seen the recent series of television commercials (maybe just in U.S.A.?) that promote the fact that Cingular/AT&T cell phones don't drop too many calls because of bad cell areas? When I watch these commercials, which are very funny and entertaining, I can't help but to correlate them to how men fail to exhibit Mode One Behavior versus why they instead exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. There are about six or seven different ones (Examples: Commercial spot #1, Commercial spot #2) The general format: Two people are conversing over-the-phone, and one person either asks a question, makes a comment, or cracks a joke ... and at that moment, the cell phone call drops; Because of the silence (because the person doing the talking does not realize the call dropped), the person who asked the question, made the comment, or cracked the joke begins to get paranoid that what they said was 'improper', 'inappropriate,' or in bad taste. Even though, again, these TV commercials are meant for fun and entertainment, they tend to illustrate how most guys think and behave when they have a Mode Two and/or Mode Three attitude. Example: Him (on the phone): "You know the reason why I asked for your phone number on the commuter train this morning, don't you...." Her (on the phone): "No ... not really ... why?" Him (on the phone): "Because I want to come over your place ... or have you come over my place ... sometime in the next week or two ... and exchange pleasurable orgasms with you ... (pause) ... how does that sound ..." ::: call drops; the woman doesn't realize it initially though ::: Her (on the phone): "Wow. You just come out with it!! I guess you're not the shy type ... (pause) ... but you know what? I love that in you!! Sure ... why not. You can come over my place next weekend..." Him (doesn't hear her response above, because the call dropped; All he heard after his last comment was silence): "So .... " Her (not realizing the call has dropped yet): "You're not saying anything! Did you hear me?" Him (thinking she's still on the phone, but is silent because she's 'offended'): "I guess that was too forward for you, huh? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come across as 'Mr. Horny Toad'. My bad. I don't know what I was thinking...." Her (finally realizes he's not there): "Hello? Hello?!?" (hangs up the phone) Him (still thinking she's on the phone, but purposely silent): "I guess I offended you, huh? You're not saying anything. Okay. I'm gonna let you go. Again ... I'm sorry. I'll never call you again." (hangs up) Even though this is a fictional scenario, I could see this really happening. If you're Mode Two,
you're so attached to the idea of receiving a 'positive' reaction/response, that if the call dropped, but you didn't know it, you would tend to automatically assume that the woman was "turned off." More-than-likely, you would start apologizing. Some guys might not get this analogy, but I thought it was interesting.... I don't think the concept of exhibiting Mode One Behavior has anything to do with being "macho," or even "cool." If I had to use 5 or more adjectives to generally describe Mode One Behavior it would be... - bold / highly self-assured - upfront / direct - candid / straight-to-the-point - unapologetic / unfazed by criticisms from women - specific about what you want from women / hardline about what you're not willing to tolerate If the "I'm a Prince, and you're my Princess" attitude works for you, then by all means, go for it. One thing you'll learn about me sorin: I very rarely, if ever, try to persuade men to change aspects of their behavior that are currently benefiting them. I only offer suggestions for improvement for those areas of your behavior [towards women] that you find to be ineffective or frustrating. I don't really see anyone necessarily "flaming" you about your opinions ... but many of your comments are sort of "vague," "ambiguous," and "too general." And that makes it hard for the guys here to really ascertain what your true criticisms are of Attract & Date and/or Mode One. For example, you say "There is much better stuff out there..." How do you define "better??" I tell guys all of the time: If you're looking for a book that's going to lead you to believe that you can attract and/or seduce each and every woman you meet, then "Mode One" is not the book for you. I don't even try to mislead men into thinking it is. My book is not designed to turn every man who reads it into an "Overnight Ladies' Man" or "Overnight Casanova/Womanizer." It's like me writing a book about basketball skills and fundamentals, and giving false claims that "I can turn you into the next Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Steve Nash, or Dirk Nowitski!!" That will never happen. Same with writing a book on acting. I can't guarantee any guy ... even if my book was generally considered as the 'best book available on improving your acting skills' ... that if you follow every piece of advice, you'll be the next Al Pacino, Denzel Washington, Tom Cruise, or Russell Crowe. And that's my main criticism of a lot of the materials out there these days that center on attracting, dating, and seduction. Some are good and solid, but other books and materials give "false claims" on improving guys success. There are some websites that literally say, "You will be able to attract any woman you want to if you read my e-book!!" That is bullshit. There is no man on this earth ... Brad Pitt included ... that can attract and seduce any woman he meets. That is what I call 'unsubstantiated hype.' The only thing I offer that is close to a 'guarantee' in my book is this: I do believe if you read my book thoroughly, and adopt all of the principles and attitudes I espouse,
you will.... - significantly diminish, if not flat-out eliminate your fear of rejection, and your fear of approaching women; - significantly diminish, if not flat-out eliminate your fear of subjective criticisms and opinionated insults from women, and will feel more confident and comfortable expressing yourself in the manner that you really want to with women; - be able to quickly identify women who are genuinely interested in you, versus women who are only looking to mislead you, manipulate you, or generally waste your time; - be able to effectively identify women who are really only into monogamous sex, versus women who are pretending to be only into monogamous sex, but in reality, will enthusiastically engage in kinky, casual, non-monogamous sex. You say my book and principles are "basic." Well, I agree with the response Riz, and the others offered you. Yes ... in a manner of speaking, "Mode One" is "basic." But it depends on your definition of 'basic.' What Tiger Woods does is 'basic.' He puts a ball into a hole in the ground. What is "complex" about that? Kobe Bryant puts a basketball into a rim with a net on it. What is "complex" about that. Russell Crowe "pretends" to be characters which he really isn't in real life. What is "complex" about that. On paper, and in principle, there is nothing "complex" about each of their talents. I could write a one page book about "How to become rich in the next five years." My answer? "Increase your income every year for the next five years." What is "complex" about that, in principle? You get my point Valmont? The reality is ... most things in life are simultaneously "simple" and "complex" at the same time. The principles of Mode One are "simple" and "basic" in one regard, but in another regard, they are totally "complex." Because if exhibiting Mode One Behavior was "easy," then every single, heterosexual guy on this planet would be exhibiting Mode One Behavior on a regular or semiregular basis. But we both know that is not the case, don't we.... Again ... and I can't speak for all of the male posters on here ... but I don't necessarily think that guys on here just flat-out "dislike" you or your comments. I just get the sense that they feel like you're not being specific enough in your comments about alternative methods. In other words, if you said, "I think there is a set of materials out there that encourages more direct behavior with women that is more effective than both 'Attract & Date' and 'Mode One', and here is why... (explains in detail why you feel the alternative materials are more effective)," then people would listen to you, and either agree or disagree. But when you just say, "I think there is better stuff out there....", but don't really truly substantiate it with any facts or specifics, then inevitably its going to fall on deaf ears (or blind eyes). As far as my book, I read some of the disagreements you had with my book, and I'm not "mad" at you for expressing those to me. Now admittedly ... I don't agree with most, if not all of them ... but nonetheless, I respect you for expressing them. For example, you said you felt the "Mode Four scenario" of the guy "dropping the towel" was "too extreme/unrealistic." Well, if you feel that way, so be it.
But the reality is, that was actually based on a true story. A woman I know who lives in Dallas, Texas (USA) had that happen to her. A guy who lived in her apartment building was being "Mode Three" with her (i.e., pretending to be "just her friend," but in reality was attracted to her) ... but then, when he found out she was having [casual] sex with another guy he knew, he came over her apartment and pretended like his "shower was broken," and then let his towel drop. When she kicked him out, he started calling her a "fucking bitch" and a "slut" and all sorts of names. That's actually minor when it comes to Mode Four Behavior. Where do you think rapists come from? Serial Killers of women? Men who put "ecstasy pills" in women's alcoholic drinks? Most men who have a high degree of resentment and misogynistic bitterness towards women are typically men who were raised to believe that "if you're a 'nice guy' to women, you will be rewarded with their romantic and/or sexual companionship." And once that doesn't happen, they become bitter. Angry. Sexually frustrated. I've literally had a guy or two write me and say, "Alan ... I have so much hatred towards women right now, that I just have visualizations of killing some of them." Misogyny is real, and it's scary. And that's half of the reason why I wrote "Mode One".... Once again, all I see guys asking for is specifics. You keep saying there is "better stuff out there," but you have yet to thoroughly describe any of the "attraction methods" that are supposedly "better." It's like us talking about cardio exercises, and working out with free weights, and you come on here and say, "I know some things that will improve your physique much faster and better than basic cardio and free weights....," and we're like, "Okay .... what is it??" But then you just go on to say, "I don't know why you guys emphasize running, jogging, walking, push-ups, and free weight exercises so much. Those are basic. But hey ... if you want to flame me for my thoughts, you go ahead and do that. I don't care!! Flame me!" I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get my point Valmont? If there are a set of principles, philosophies, or 'methods' out there that you think are significantly more effective than Attract & Date and/or Mode One ... and "Direct" type approaches period ... then you need to either a) present them to us, in some detail, so we can either choose to agree with you or disagree with you ... or b ) just drop the subject. And for the record ... I've never told any of my readers to "limit themselves" to just the Mode One book. I generally tend to encourage men to read 2, 3, 4, 5+ books if they think they can pick something up from them. For example, I had a guy write me not too long ago asking should he buy my book, or one or two books by Tariq "KingFlex" Nasheed. I could've easily said, "NO! Don't buy Tariq's stuff ... buy my book!!" But I didn't. I said, "If you think you can learn something from any book that is out there ... even if you only learn something from one chapter of that particular book ... then it might be worth purchasing..." The only time I don't recommend other books is if I know for a 100% fact that the book or materials is crap / misleading, over-hyped bullshit. Other than that, I say go for it. I pretty much know exactly what Amazon.com reviews you're referring to, and most of those guys ... if not all of them ... were looking for specific "pick-up lines." If there is one criticism I've received from some guys who've read my book ... either in a lighthearted manner or a serious manner ... it would be, "Alan ... you don't have any pick-up lines in your book!" And like Glib just pointed out, Mode One is not about one type of dialogue or one set type of
behavior. When you're being Mode One, you're essentially being your true, naturally confident self. Pretend you visited a hypnotist, and he hypnotized you so that all of your fear of being rejected by women was eliminated, and all of your fear of being subjectively criticized and/or 'disliked' by women was eliminated. How would you then approach, and behave towards women?? That would be your version of Mode One Behavior. My "version" of Mode One Behavior could be totally different than your version of Mode One, like Glib pointed out already. And that is why I specifically and intentionally don't have any 'examples' of dialogue with women in Chapter Eight (The Mode One Chapter) in my book. I feel like, once you eliminate all of the flaws and weaknesses of Mode Two Behavior, Mode Three Behavior, and Mode Four Behavior from your personality, there is nothing left BUT Mode One Behavior. I don't know too much about Shark's methods and philosophies, so I can't validly comment on his stuff. But ... I don't know if I 100% agree with you on Mystery's stuff. I read his most recent book, and much of what he espoused was manipulative. I'm going strictly on his most recent book. Many guys from this forum have already purchased either my E-Book or a copy of my paperback. So, there are a good percentage of guys who truly believe in the principles of Mode One. I've already heard some "success stories" of guys being Mode One. But the key difference is, with Mode One, the #1 objective is not simply to "get laid." With most 'indirect' methodologies, the primary focus is on a) preventing and/or avoiding rejection and other forms of "negative reactions/responses" from women ... and b ) to get a woman to have a onenight stand, weekend fling, or other form of [casual] sex encounter. For me, I look at seducing women as "the frosting on the cake" more so than the cake itself. It's like me being a personal trainer, and I'm getting you to focus on the actual eating habits and exercise habits rather than "quick fix results" and "overnight improvements" in your physique, and your popularity with women. Every guy who reads my book is going to absorb my principles at a different pace. Some may experience improvements in their interpersonal communication skills in three to five weeks, others in three to five months if not longer. I like the guys on this forum. Most of them are pretty objective-minded and intelligent. I don't have too many 'major' complaints or criticisms of the group of guys here. And I don't confuse positive feedback, and enthusiastic words of support with "kissing my ass." Mutual respect is what I seek.... I rarely just approach a woman, say "We should hook up and fuck..." Here and there, depending on the situation and where I am? Yes. Generally speaking? No. The very first thing I usually try to identify is if she's interested in sharing my company period. Non-sexually or sexually. Then, once I've confirmed that she has some degree of interest/curiosity in sharing my company in general, then I will go ahead and express my interest in fucking the woman.... I don't have "one set approach" for every woman. I actually just sort of "wing it." No pre-rehearsed "pick-up lines." The closest thing I have to a 'standard' opening comment is usually something along
the lines of,"Me ... you ... two weeks from Friday, or two weeks from Saturday?" (or something along those lines) If a woman quickly says, "I'm not interested..." or "I'm married..." or something that shows that she's clearly not interested, I typically just leave the woman alone. But if the woman trips off of my approach (e.g., "Excuse me?" "I beg your pardon?" "come again?" etc), then that's when I usually know I have the woman intrigued and/or curious.... Mode Two Behavior is when you approach a woman, and your first objective is to engage a woman in lighthearted, entertaining "small talk" prior to letting her know what your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions are. When I approach a woman, I don't look to engage in "small talk." The first thing I look to do is "qualify" that woman (i.e., Is she single? Does she live nearby, or is she visiting from out-of-town? Is she a heterosexual woman, bi-sexual woman, or a lesbian? etc.). That's the main reason why I don't usually just go up to a woman and say, "Hey ... let's hook up and fuck ..." Not because I think it's too bold or inappropriate, but I want to make sure I'm talking a woman that meets my criteria. I definitely believe that both your words and body language can convey a "Mode One attitude" to a woman. Again, the reason why I didn't include any examples of dialogue with women in my book is because I don't want 100 guys trying to imitate how I talk to women. That's what happens when you include dialogue examples. Most guys are lazy and unoriginal, so they just try to copy what you say. That's how pick-up lines get created. I want you to be YOU. The guy who you really are ... not the guy that's trying to be "liked," and trying to "avoid criticism." Pretty much every woman I approach, I approach them with the ultra-confident attitude that I know they want to share my company. So, I agree with your attitude of "assuming" that interest is there. But at the same time, I'm experienced enough to know the difference between genuine lack of interest, and a woman pretending not to be interested in me. I don't believe in "forcing myself" on a woman. There is a distinct difference between rejection and resistance. When a woman makes it clear that she is rejecting me, I leave her alone. When a woman is resisting me, I become more persistent. Remember one of my golden rules Valmont: Rejection is always a WIN-WIN scenario. I have no problem being rejected by women, because for me, there is no "loss" or "failure" associated with rejection in my mind. There are only two types of women who will reject you: Those who are genuinely not interested in you, and those women who are pretending not to be interested in you. If the women in the first group reject you, you WIN because that woman just saved you from wasting time and/or money pursuing her attention and companionship. If the women in the second group reject you, you WIN because 90-99.9% chance, at some point int he future those women are going to seek out your attention and companionship, and then you will have the clear "upper hand." If a woman says to you, "Valmont ... I'm not interested in spending any time with you in the [near]
future...," and you keep on talking to her, you are essentially forcing yourself on her. You can argue that, deny that, or debate it, but it's the truth. The only time I will "challenge" a rejection, is if a woman is telling me that she's not interested, but her body language is saying something totally different. For example, she's saying she's not interested, but she's not making any attempt to end the conversation and/or excuse herself from my presence. But if that's the case, that's not really rejection anyway. That is more so resistance. For example, in that infamous scene in "Talk Dirty To Me" with John Leslie as "Jack" talking to the female doctor. Did she once ever say, "Please stop talking to me...." or "I'm sorry, but I just have no interest in sharing your company...."??? Nope. She criticized his approach ... the manner in which he was expressing himself (i.e., bold, cocky, straightforward, X-rated) ... but she never made it crystal clear that she had absolutely no interest in sharing his company. To me .... and I might be wrong ... but it sounds like you're suggesting that a guy more or less "force himself" on a woman. Either verbally and/or physically. I don't believe in that. I believe in communicating my desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in a highly selfassured, upfront, straight-to-the-point manner ... and then I let the results take care of themselves. In my opinion, you sound like a guy who is too attached to the idea of receiving a positive, reciprocal reaction/response from women. And that's where you and I differ. My attitude is, if a woman is not interested in me ... she's just not. I don't try to make women who are not interested in me become interested in me. One of the reasons why men flatter women .... spend money on women ... offer to do favors for women ... and allow themselves to be treated like chumps by women ... is really because of two things: 1) They are afraid of being rejected and/or afraid of receiving a 'negative' response from women and 2) They're trying to persuade women who are not interested in them to become interested in them. I don't do that. When it comes to interest, I only try to identify one of two things with women: a) If a woman is interested in me ... but she's trying to pretend as though she's not ... then I will make sure I expose that, and get her to acknowledge that she is really interested.... or b ) If a woman is not interested in me ... but she's trying to pretend as though she is ... then I will make sure I expose that, and get her to acknowledge that she really isn't interested. There is a difference between not caring what women think of your behavior, and not caring about women's criticisms regarding the manner in which you approached them ... and "crossing boundaries." You seem to have the two confused. If a walk up to a woman, and just grab her ass .... and she slaps me ... and I say to myself, "I don't care about the fact that she just slapped me! I'm going to grab her ass again!!", then that would be stupid and disrespectful. I don't condone such behavior.
What I "don't care about" is subjective labels/criticisms. Such as, "You're too cocky!" or "You're so forward!" or "You sure do express yourself in an erotically explicit manner ... you're shallow!" I agree with having the attitude of, "I know she's interested in me ...," but if a woman clearly tells you, "I am not interested in sharing your company," then my recommendation is that you should just leave her alone. I know guys who have gotten their asses kicked for ignoring comments such as "I'm married" or "I have a boyfriend." That happened to a guy who read my book actually. A guy I know in Los Angeles approached this woman in a grocery store and said, "We should get together next week...." The woman said, "Sorry ... I'm married." (right then, I would've left her alone). But he continued and said, "I don't give a fuck if you're married. I'm attracted to you, and I want to fuck you...." She said, "That was insulting. Please leave me alone." (he was warned!) He STILL continued ... blah, blah, blah ... and finally her husband came from another isle, saw his wife was upset, and then cracked the guy I know in the jaw. Again: If a woman tells me that she's married, engaged, has a boyfriend, or is simply "not interested," I leave that woman alone. I don't become persistent in response to rejection. I become persistent in response to resistance. Like the female doctor in "Talk Dirty To Me." She never really 'rejected' Jack. She just harshly criticized him, and resisted him. But she never said, "Please leave me alone" or "please stop talking to me." I've fucked many women who intiially resisted me, gave me a hard time, or harshly criticized me. Bottom line: Some principles and philosophies we agree on, others we don't. You seem to believe in being persistent even in the face of rejection, and I generally do not. Read my "Mode One Backstory" about the woman I interacted with in Kinko's in Hollywood, CA. When I felt like she was rejecting me, I left her alone. But then ... SHE ended up talking to me again. Remember: Rejection is always WIN-WIN. A lot of guys are looking for "methods" and "techniques" that will allow them to pursue, attract, and seduce literally every woman they meet. And I've said this a dozen times ... that is impossible. You're never going to attract and/or seduce each and every woman you meet. As far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't even want to seduce every woman you meet. Some women are just not to your long-term benefit to hook up with. No, I am not going to be filming a "porno" movie. My film will have some degree of 'eroticism' to it ... but it is not a porno film. Speaking of pornos ... you found "Talk Dirty To Me" laughable?? Interesting. I learned a lot from that one scene with the female doctor. Like I said before, that movie was probably the first thing that directly or indirectly influenced the development of "Mode One" Behavior for me. I learned 2-3 things in just that one scene:
1) Just because a woman harshly criticizes your behavior and/or the manner in which you approached her doesn't necessarily mean that she's not interested in dating you or having sex with you; 2) Just because a woman publicly presents herself as "innocent," "wholesome," "prudish," or "monogamous-minded" doesn't necessarily mean she's really that way behind closed doors; 3) You can get a woman's pussy wet just by talking to her; I used to think you had to actually kiss a woman or touch a woman to get her pussy wet "Talk Dirty To Me" and "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" really show you a lot about how women really are sexually. You need to read my "Mode One Backstory." I say exactly that. My older brother and another friend of ours said, "That shit would never work in real life" (i.e., Jack's bold verbal behavior). I initially thought that too ... until I tried it real life. The one aspect of their interaction that I will agree was somewhat "unrealistic / over-the-top" was when she kept threatening to call the police on him, but he didn't seem fazed at all. In real life, if a woman threatened to call the police on me, 90% chance, I'm going to back off. But I would say at least 2/3 - 3/4 of that interaction was real. I've had probably about 15 or so interactions with women that were almost just like that interaction between Jack and that doctor. I've dated or had sex with women who were as much as 22 years older than me (When I was 25, I once dated a woman who was 47), and I've dated/had sex with women as much as 19 years younger than me (Just last year, when I was 42, I dated a woman who was 23). Generally, I approach women anywhere from as young as 25-29, and as old as 41-45. I wouldn't be willing to give a number, but I will tell you ... probably 75-90% of the women I've had casual sex with was because of Mode One Behavior. Matter of fact, some of the women themselves even acknowledged that. I had a woman in San Diego for example say to me, "Alan ... if it wasn't for your bold, ultra-confident, sexually straightforward manner of expressing yourself, I probably would not have had [casual] sex with you. I typically only have sex with men who are my 'boyfriend' (i.e., monogamous, relationship sex) ... but you got my pussy so wet ...." I've had a few women say stuff like that. Even a few of my female "platonic" friends get a kick out of seeing me be Mode One with other women. They'll say, "Alan, you know you wouldn't get as much pussy as you do if it weren't for your 'Mode One' behavior..." You know what I love even more about Mode One though? Is the women it prevented me from interacting with. That's what I love most about Mode One. When you're Mode Two (or Mode Three) with women, it's hard to distinguish the women who are generally full of shit (i.e., manipulative, duplicitous, hypocritical, self-righteous, etc) and the women who have a genuine interest in you. Because of Mode One, I rarely have had to deal with women just looking to 'use' me. You would have to have experienced a lot of the interactions with women that I have I guess. Since the mid-to-late 80s, I've had at least 15 or so interactions with women that almost unfolded just like that scene between Jack and the female doctor.
That scene was important to me, because that was probably the first time I realized that many women will "pretend" to be 'turned off' by you, or "pretend" not to have any interest in you, when in reality they can be extremely turned on at the time. Maybe that scene doesn't resonate with you guys the way it did with me in the early 80s, but I will never say that the scene was 'unrealistic' or 'laughable'. I owe probably at least 1/3 - 1/2 of the credit for me initially exhibiting Mode One Behavior with women to that one scene. All I have to say is ... I've exhibited behavior in certain situations that was just like John Leslie's character of "Jack" in that scene. I can name times when I met a woman, and within four or five minutes after I met them, I was squeezing their ass, squeezing their tits, and/or kissing them. You're never going to find that scene "believable" until you actually experience an interaction in real life that is similar. His behavior is not "creepy" at all. It's bold. Even women who have watched that scene say that. I've never heard a woman who watched that scene call Jack's behavior "creepy." They usually say, "Wow. He is BOLD. He has balls...." or something similar. I don't recommend that just 'any guy' go around pulling his cock out with a woman. I've done that a few times, but 90% of the time, it was only after I had kissed her, or done something physical with her (e.g., she let me grab her ass or squeeze her tits). I would never pull out my cock on a woman if I didn't feel there was a high degree of sexual chemistry between us. Dude ... face it. You don't believe that scene is 'real' because in your mind, you don't want to accept it as realistic. Truth? I find more scenes in mainstream movies (i.e., PG-rated, PG-13, or Rrated) between men and women to be "unrealistic" more so than the scenes involving Jack in "Talk Dirty To Me" or "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II." And that's real. I've had more real-life interactions with women that have resembled Jack's interactions with women, then interactions that have resembled some of the interactions I've seen in popular "chick flicks." In many mainstream movies, you will see a guy exhibiting geeky, corny, semi-timid behavior with hot women ... and still have success with them. I've never seen that happen in real life. Advice: Don't exhibit behavior towards women that is similar to John Leslie's character of "Jack" in "Talk Dirty To Me." Got it? Good. But let me make this clear: Just because you think his behavior is 'unrealistic' and/or 'creepy' doesn't mean that every guy will or does. I know at least 25-30 women who have watched that scene, and none of them called his behavior 'creepy,' 'unrealistic,' or 'extremely rude or offensive.' The vast majority of them just said, "Most men I know wouldn't have the BALLS to be that bold with women...." Most women think of men as 'cowards' when it comes to expressing their sexual desires, interests, and intentions to them in a confident, upfront, and straightforward manner. And the truth is: Most of them ARE. I don't know if his subsequent scenes in the film are truly "Mode One." But his character's whole attitude and demeanor, in my opinion, is "Mode One." He is not afraid of criticism or rejection. Here is sort of my mindset when approaching women: 1) Am I physically attracted to her? If yes .... then of course, I approach. 2) Is my interest a one-night stand? Weekend fling? Casual sex for an indefinite period of time? A long-term, monogamous relationship??
For me ... and this is just me ... I rarely approach women with the specific intention of having a long-term, monogamous relationship. That's something that women have to sort of 'earn' from me. I pretty much approach every woman with the attitude that I want some form of casual sex first ... and then, if our chemistry is exceptional, I move things up to a more serious, long-term, monogamous relationship. I have a "No First Prizes" philosophy about women. Immediately treating a woman like she's "my next girlfriend" material and/or "my future wife" material is like psychologically giving her "First Prize" at the Dating Fair. I rarely, if ever, do that. Put another way, I would rather treat a woman who is genuinely a 'good girl' like she's a 'kinky freak' ... and be wrong in my assumption ... then to treat a kinky freak like she's a 'good girl.' I think more men are guilty of making the latter mistake than the former. Bottom line, if you approach a woman ... and all you know is that you're physically attracted to her ... but you're not sure yet if you want to date her and/or have sex with her .... then just invite her to share your company maybe at an inexpensive coffee shop, or even a recreational park, so you two can sit and talk, and you can further 'feel her out.' Don't offer to do any expensive 'wining & dining.' Just good ol' conversation that involves a lot of questions where her answers can provide you with a better understanding of who she is, and what she's all about. I hope this helps..... my first objective is to see if I'm dealing with a good-natured, genuine type woman .... or a spoiled, manipulative, duplicitous type woman. You can take as much time as you want with the former, but you have to be specific and hardline with the latter, or otherwise, you will get played.... Mode One: Expressing your desires, interests, intentions, and thoughts and ideas in a highly selfassured, upfront, straightforward manner. Mode Four: Expressing your harsh criticisms of others, insults, individual [subjective] opinions, and feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment/bitterness to others in no-mincing-words, straightforward manner. Mode One -or- Mode Four could conceivably be used for 'conflict resolution,' but typically, Mode One would be more of a "preventive" means of resolution where as Mode Four would be more of "It's happened already" means of expressing your thoughts on a problem. Mode Four, as I say in my book, is more-or-less "After-the-fact" Mode One Behavior. You can't keep 'changing' and 'modifying' your behavior based on how you perceive a woman to be. For example, a lot of men believe that you should treat women who you perceive as a "good girl" differently than a woman you perceive as a 'kinky freak' type. I say no. Wholesome Pretenders (Chapter Six) are very good at "pretending" to be the "good girl." So yes Comecuca ... you're right on the mark in your thinking. Mode One: Specific Mode Two: Vague, Ambiguous, "Beat-Around-The-Bush" Mode One: Hardline Mode Two: Lenient, Accommodating, well-mannered P.S. To clear up any confusion on what I was expressing ... I was basically saying, if you've already start dating a woman ... and you're in a relationship with a woman ... then it's okay to go ahead and
engage in some degree of "entertaining small talk" with your girlfriend ... but when you don't know yet if she's interested in you? Oh, hell no. No way.
Five Questions with "Mode One" Author Alan Roger Currie [This is a reprint from an interview I had with a Singles Organization in the Chicago area (USA)] 5 Questions with "Mode One" Author Alan Roger Currie Q. Alan, How did the whole concept for "Mode One" come about? A. I think I first started exhibiting what I now refer to as "Mode One" Behavior back in Spring or Summer of 1985. I just got to a point where I was tired of "beating-aroundthe-bush" with women about what my romantic and/or sexual desires were. So, I just started approaching women in a very highly self-assured, upfront, extremely candid manner. Sometimes, I would be upfront in a "PG-13" manner, and other times, I would be upfront in an "R-rated" or even an "X-rated" manner. What I noticed was, the responses I would get from women would almost follow a predictable "pattern." First, they would usually act 'startled' or 'shocked.' Then, they would say something like "Excuse me?" "I beg your pardon??" "Come again?" Those sort of responses. Sometimes I would even get harshly criticized for being so "forward." But then ... amazingly ... the women would eventually calm down, and tell me what I needed to know about them, as far as their interests in me. Q. You say in your book that you don't like deceiving women or manipulating women. Would you say that persistent lies and manipulative 'head games' are the most pressing problem in today's dating scene? A. Yes. I have criticisms of both genders when it comes to lying and engaging in manipulative head games. I'll start with women. Many women will say they want an "honest man," but most women don't back that up with their actions and behavior. Women like honesty when it's pleasing to their ears or when it's conducive to their objectives ... but they don't care for honesty when a man is telling them something that is not to their liking, or it's not beneficial to the achievement of their desired objectives. Example: Let's say a man meets a woman, and all he wants to do is have a "weekend fling" with her. So, he tells her that. If she's cool with the idea, no problems. But let's say, she's not really into the "weekend casual sex fling" scenario. Instead of just saying, "I'm not interested," she instead goes off on him, and says things like "How dare you think I will have a weekend fling with you!!" "What do you think I am, a ho??" "Do I look like weekend slut material to you??" So on, and so on. When a man receives those sort of "harsh reactions" and criticisms from women, what he says to himself is, "The next time I approach a woman ... I'm going to PRETEND like I want a meaningful relationship, but as soon as I have sex with this woman three or four times, I'm going to dump her, and never call her again." Bam! Now you officially have misleading, manipulative head games going on. Using that same scenario, my #1 criticism of men is that many of them put too much emphasis on
"telling women what they want to hear." You'll never know for a 100% fact what women want to hear. The only thing you can really do is tell them what your romantic and/or sexual desires are in the most highly self-assured, upfront, candidly straightforward manner as you possibly can without any excuses, apologies, or explanations. That's essentially what Mode One Behavior is about. Q. When did you first think about putting your thoughts down on paper? A. My older brother, Stephen, was the first to suggest that I put the concepts of my bold, upfront, ultra-straightforward behavior down on paper as far back as Summer or Fall of 1986. When he saw the results I was experiencing, he was trippin'. You ever heard of "Letters To Penthouse?" If not, "Letters To Penthouse" is a book series that chronicles everyday, normal people engaging in erotic experiences that are spontaneous, totally unexpected and unplanned, and for the most part, "out of the ordinary." Well, that's the type of situations I was starting to experience because of my "Mode One" Behavior. Experiences that, if you weren't an eyewitness to them, you would be like, "No way!" Anyways, I didn't finally put it down on paper until Fall of 1990 after I had an interesting conversation with a woman my mother knew. I talk about it in Chapter One of my book. I created a 25-30 page pamphlet in 1995, and then an E-Book in Fall of 2001. I finally published it as a paperback in March of 2006. Q. What has been your biggest compliment (from women) regarding the use of your "Mode One" Behavior? What has been your harshest criticism?? A. I've heard a wide range of comments, compliments, and criticisms when I tend to be "Mode One" with women. Some women immediately love it, and take to it. They'll say things like "You are the boldest, most self-assured guy I've ever met." Others will say, "You don't mince words, do you?" Stuff like that. On the critical end, I've been called "crass" sometimes, "too forward," "cocky," "shameless," and "presumptuous." The interesting and ironic thing is though, I've actually ended up dating and/or having sex with more women who initially criticized me than those who flattered me. Q. How does your book help men? Is there any way it can help women? A. The biggest thing I do in my book is shatter the whole myth of the proverbial "Mr. Nice Guy" form of behavior. That whole 'nice guy' role is disingenuous bullsh**. No man is naturally a "Mr. Nice Guy" type. That is a LEARNED form of behavior. In the short-run, it might get you some positive responses and some flattering comments, but in the long-run, it will cause you nothing but regret, frustration, and bitterness. Look up the Latin root word for the term "nice." It is nescius (page 51 in my book). To exhibit nescius behavior .. what we call "nice" ... means in Latin to be "naive," "ignorant," and "foolish." So anytime a man is being "nice" to women, he's essentially being naive, ignorant, and foolish in his behavior. The Middle English
derivation of "nice" means to be "strange" and "lazy." Why would you ever want to be naive, ignorant, foolish, strange and lazy with women?? The primary thing I think women have the potential to learn from my book is why many men tend to frequently exhibit "passive-aggressive" behavior towards women. That happens because of a vacillation between Mode Two Behavior and Mode Four Behavior, or a vacillation between Mode Three Behavior and Mode Four Behavior. Most men who eventually become rapists, date rapists, serial killers of women, and serial abusers of women are men who started out exhibiting Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, and then because of their anger, frustration, and bitterness towards women, they turn to Mode Four Behavior. Deceptive behavior and manipulative head games benefits neither gender in the long-run. All it creates in the long-run is more anger, more resentment, and even more game-playing in the future. .................................................... Mode One -> Highly Self-Assured, Upfront, Straightforward, Unfazed by the possibility of criticism and/or rejection (Direct) Mode Two -> Cautious, Well-Mannered, Indirect, Pleasant, Accommodating, Fearful of Criticism (Indirect) Mode Three -> Phony, Duplicitous, Hypocritical, Wishy-Washy, Deceitful (Hiding/Denying/Camouflaging Your True Desires & Interests) Mode Four -> Bitter, Angry, Resentful, Vindictive, Misogynistic (You blame all of your frustrations with women on women) I do not like it when message board posters comment on my book, express opinions on my book, or generally criticize my book if they either a) have not read my book at all, or b ) have read my book, but they didn't read it thoroughly, or failed to truly understand it. I enjoy coming here to Direct-Method ever since Robert [Torrey] issued the invitation, but Comecuca's recent comments in his post (the "I want to fuck you VS Romantic Prince" thread) tend to remind me why I have stopped posting on other message boards in the past (for example, AskMen.com). - Don't ask me detailed questions about my book if you haven't read it. - Don't misrepresent my book by making comments that suggest that you THINK you know what my book is about, when it is obvious that you really don't. - Don't put words in my mouth. If you can't offer a direct quote from my book, don't distort the words in my book. For example, I had at least one reviewer on Amazon.com ("Reader From Chicago") admit to me that he didn't read my book in its entirety. He has the worst review on Amazon (one out of five stars), yet he wrote me a message via Amazon telling me that he only read the Introduction, and Chapters 1 - 3. He didn't even read Chapters 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. How can you offer a valid critique of my book when you didn't even thoroughly read it?? So I'm asking fellas ... as a favor ... please only discuss my book if you've read it. And I mean, really read it. Not just "browsed" through it. Otherwise, I'm outta here.
Because for Comecuca to suggest that I "blame" women for all of men's dating problems & frustrations lets me know that he never read my book and/or never understood my book. Thank you. As far as applying Mode One Behavior to other aspects of your life in addition to dating, that's what my older brother did. When he was a Sales Manager in San Diego, CA, he had his sales force apply the Four Modes of Verbal Communication to their sales activities, and they increased their production by being Mode One. I told some friends of mine not too long ago that Jesus Christ was actually "Mode One." Not in the sense of dating and/or approaching women, but just in his communication style in general. Jesus Christ was radical in his day. He spoke nothing but the truth without any concern for receiving a "positive" reaction from people. He didn't exhibit behavior for the sole & specific purpose of "pleasing" people and/or "accommodating" people. His behavior was based on values, ethics, Godly laws, and firm principles. (Not to sound like I'm 'preaching', but I had to express that....) I've had a number of women read my book, and exhibit "Mode One" Behavior with men. Matter of fact, I just recently highlighted how a female character from HBO's hit comedy, "Entourage" exhibited Mode One Behavior towards one of the male characters on the show. What do you mean you haven't purchased the book yet ... what are you waiting for?? I've never said that my book, Mode One, was specifically about helping men "get laid." If you thoroughly read my book, I make that perfectly clear. I don't buy this idea that if you approach a woman, and she failed to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual interests, that this means that you did something "wrong." That is what Mode One is all about. Plain and simply, there are some women who you're going to meet that are not going to be interested in dating you or having [casual] sex with you at all. This is not an opinion, this is a fact. Ultimately, the only thing you can concentrate on is how you go about expressing your interests to women. I don't concentrate on the results of my behavior. I concentrate on the behavior itself. The main question I ask myself before I approach a woman is, "Why do I really want to share this woman's company??" (e.g., one-night stand? weekend fling? indefinite casual sex? long-term relationship? initially platonic, with the door open for future romantic interactions? etc) Then, once I have a good idea of my own interests, I just concentrate on expressing those interests to women in the most highly self-assured, upfront, and straightforwardly honest manner as possible. I let the reactions, responses, and results more or less take care of themselves. Along the lines of what I expressed in my previous post, the problem with Mode Two is being "too fearful" of harsh criticisms and/or negative reactions. So consequently, you don't express your true interests in a manner that is self-assured, upfront, or straightforward. You tend to engage in a high degree of bullshit "small talk" prior to making your interests known. And more often that not, women lose the interest they had in sharing your company. They get
bored, and realize you didn't have the balls to express yourself in a forthright manner. I've asked women for their number ... and I've given women my number. Most of the time though, I usually wait for women to offer me their phone numbers. The vast majority of women I've dated and/or had casual sex with usually offered me their phone numbers. When I first approach a woman though, I don't immediately concentrate on getting a woman's phone number. As you know from my Mode One Backstory, I've had some women give me pussy or suck my dick without me even having to talk to them on the phone first. But like The Dean said ... I know some men who treat getting a woman's number as if it's equal to fucking them. A phone number doesn't mean jack shit in the big scheme of things. I'm going to end up sounding like a 'broken record' here, but my issues with you are the same with just about every post/reply you offer. 1) Most of the things you claim to have issue with ... either from my book, or from comments on this message board ... are based primarily on your own interpretation of what I'm saying ... rather than what I'm saying. And that's what bothers me about many of your comments. I never "challenged" your masculinity. The closest I did to that was when I lightheartedly said that your responses were like those of a female poster. And honestly, I will stand by that to a degree. I'll admit .. it was probably 'below the belt' to say you posted like a woman, but the only time I've had "message board battles" of this nature have generally been with women. For example, on AskMen.com I used to always have female posters try to challenge things I said left and right. I rarely, if ever, had male posters do that. 2) You express opinions as facts. I don't like that. Just because it is your opinion that you feel I put too much emphasis on the manipulative tendencies of women doesn't mean that this is true. I feel like I don't "overemphasize" manipulation ... but I don't "underemphasize" it either. The reality is this: If there were no such thing as manipulative women, there would really be no need for Mode One Behavior. I pretty much say that in my book. If there were no women in society that tended to mislead men, toy with their feelings, and/or manipulate them in general, then there would be no detriments to exhibiting Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior. Mode Four Behavior wouldn't even really be an issue. The part I agree with you is, when you're consistently Mode One with women ... you don't have to concern yourself with manipulative women. I've said that a dozen times or more. But if you're suggesting that even a man who is Mode Two and/or Mode Three doesn't have to worry about manipulative women, you are wrong. And I stand firmly behind that. I would say manipulation was probably one of the Top 2, Top 3 reasons why I even bothered to write Mode One. If you read my book, you will see that I say in the Introduction, I initially did not want to turn Mode One into a book. I just wanted to keep it as a pamphlet for me, my brother, and a few close friends of mine. But my pamphlet started growing in popularity to the point where I
decided to first publish it as an EBook (December 2001) and later as a paperback (March 2006). The top reasons I wrote Mode One was because.... 1) Friends of mine started to witness me having a lot of "same day seductions" (similar to John Leslie's character of "Jack" in "Talk Dirty To Me"), and they wanted to learn how to experience the same thing with women that they interacted with; 2) A lot of guys I knew, or my brother knew, would frequently whine & complain about going out on dates with women who they THOUGHT were genuinely interested in them, only to find out later that these women were just "using" them for flattering attention and/or financial favors; 3) A lot of guys would express their frustration over being put in a woman's "friend zone," when they knew they wanted to date these women or have casual sex with these women. You take away those three factors, and I would have never even written Mode One. As far as the podcast show, I didn't "dog you" too much. In a lighthearted way, yeah. But not in a 'hateful' manner. The Dean was more harsh than me. But I don't like your "ghetto talk" insinuations. That is racist. I am a college-educated man with a degree in Economics. I can hold my own with anyone intellectually. So for you to imply that The Dean and I only talk about silly "urban" shit is bullshit. If I had to sum up all of my criticisms of you down to one general criticism, it would be you talk out of your ass a lot. I don't care for people like that too much. You say a lot of stuff that you don't have anything solid to substantiate your comments with. It's like if I tried to argue that Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the NFL, but I didn't really have anything solid or valid to substantiate that claim. That's basically how you are, at least in my opinion. I would say some women with manipulative tendencies are going to be attracted to men who exhibit Mode One Behavior, but not all women with manipulative tendencies. For some manipulative women, it's just the opposite. They will actually steer clear of Mode One men. Why? Because they know you have the tools and expertise to expose them for who they really are. There is no debating this: You should always be Mode One with women. If a woman is not interested in dating you or having [casual] sex with you, then she's just not. I never really try to 'force' a woman to be interested in me, or try to 'persuade' a woman into becoming interested in me. Some guys do that, and hey ... more power to them. But for me, the main thing I concentrate on is letting my romantic and/or sexual interests be known to a woman in the most highly self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest manner as possible. Then I let the conversation continue (or not continue) from there. I don't look at every woman who is not interested in me as being misleading and/or manipulative. The primary time that I identify women as being "manipulative" is when they are trying to get something from me without giving anything back in return. For example, a woman is trying to get me to give her flattering attention just to feed her ego. A woman is trying to get me to spend money on her before she even acknowledges an interest in me. Those sort of things. I find ... if it is meant for you to interact with a woman, then you will. Simple as that. I've had women reject me in December only to damn near start stalking me in March or April. My thing is, if I don't feel the chemistry in the early stages, I'm out. Don't have precious time to waste.
If you are very direct with women, you essentially force them to be very direct with you. They really don't have a 'choice' in the matter when you're being direct. When I'm direct with women, they either a) reciprocate my interests, b ) fail to reciprocate my interests, or possibly c) suggest that they're not sure if they're interested in me or not. If the response is "a", then cool. We're set. If the response is "b", then cool too. I didn't waste any time and/or money pursuing a woman who is not really interested in me. If the response is "c", then 99.9% chance, I'm going to leave them alone until they figure what their interests are. I'm not going to allow a woman to interact with me in "The Ambiguous Zone." I think this is one the primary areas where you and I differ Comecuca. You're more lenient than me about allowing women to be 'vague' and 'ambiguous' regarding their interests. I'm not. I'm hardline towards that shit. If that means that I might "miss out" on some possible pussy, so what. I'm not "pussy focused." Getting pussy is not the #1 objective of Mode One, and I've said that more than a dozen times. The #1 objective of Mode One is to 1) conquer your fear or rejection and/or criticism and 2) to prevent yourself from wasting time and/or money pursuing women who are not genuinely interested in you. Pussy is more so a "fringe benefit" and/or by-product of Mode One Behavior. No man really "wants to be" manipulated. But there are definitely men who allow themselves to be manipulated. But yes ... you're right. You have to have convictions, principles, and parameters. That's what Mode One is all about. If I know that I don't want to 'wine & dine' women, then as soon as I meet a woman that starts talking about me treating her to the finest restaurants, subsidizing her car note, or giving her a bunch of materialistic gifts, then I'm going to let her know immediately where I stand on such stuff. If she can't handle my response, then fuck her. Example: Let's say that I meet a woman, and all I want to do is have a weekend fling of casual sex with her. Now, a manipulative type woman might want me to treat her to dinner and a movie first. I would say, "No. I just want to fuck you. We can go to dinner and a movie if you're paying though." A manipulative type woman might say, "I'm only going to have sex with you if you commit to having a relationship with me." I would say, "I'm not looking to be monogamous with you. Sorry. If you can't handle that, then we are not fucking...." A manipulative type woman might say, "Well before we fuck this weekend, I want to tell you all of my stories about my past jobs, past boyfriends, childhood experiences, and my thoughts on men in general!!" I would say, "I'm not trying to engage in that much small talk with you before we fuck. Afterwards, maybe. But not before." You have to draw the line on what behavior you're willing to tolerate from a woman, and what behavior you're not willing to tolerate. That's essentially what manipulation is. Manipulation is when you get someone to change, modify, or adjust their behavior in a manner that benefits you, and accommodates you, more so than it benefits them. I'm not willing to change or modify my behavior in order to please a woman, impress a woman, or
accommodate a woman. If she can't hang with my behavior as it is, then fuck her. I don't need her. Ultimately, the key to preventing women from being manipulative with you is not to be so focused on "positive" or reciprocal results. You see, when you focus too much attention on getting laid, then you're going to be willing to do damn near anything in order to accomplish that objective. If a woman says, "If you treat me to dinner five times, I'm gonna give you some pussy!!," you're going to treat her to dinner five times ... but then, after those five dinner dates, she could easily say, "Ooops! I changed my mind! Sorry. I'm not interested in you anymore." Then, how are you going to feel? Pissed. Bitter. Played. If a woman says, "If you pay for my trip to Cancun with me and my girlfriends, I'm going to give you some pussy!!," then you're going to pay for her trip because you want to fuck her. But then, when she gets back from that trip and says, "Sorry honey ... but I met someone special on the trip ... and I'm now with him. I'm so sorry. But thanks for paying for that trip!!," how are you going to feel? Pissed. Bitter. Played. That's why I don't concentrate so much on getting laid, or getting some pussy. What I concentrate more on is what amount of time and/or money am I willing to invest to pursue this woman romantically and/or sexually? In the event that I get rejected, what behavior can I live with without any regrets? Read Stephen R. Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." He and I share many of the same themes. He is all about being principle focused. Not money focused, fame focused, recognition focused, respect focused, pussy focused, romance focused, or career success focused. His main focus is on his own ethics, values, and principles. And I am pretty much the exact same way. For example, I've had men and women say, "Alan .... I don't agree with the idea of not engaging in 'small talk' ... I actually like small talk!!" I don't argue with them, if that's how they strongly feel. I'm not here to "force" people to think exactly like I do. I'm here to say, "These are the principles that have worked for me ... and if you think they will work for you, then adopt them." Another one would be my principle about not immediately offering to 'wine & dine' women. I've had many females who have read my book say, "Alan ... I totally disagree with that. All women want to be taken out to lunch, dinner, or a movie. You should delete that principle from your book...." Do you think I'm going to delete that from my book just because they feel that way? Hell no. If men and women who read my book don't like that principle ... guess what? Don't follow it. I don't look at "Direct," or at least "Attract and Date," as the exact same thing as Mode One. As I've said once or twice before, I look at "Direct" and "Indirect" as "general schools of philosophy." Sort of like you have "low-carb diets" as a general philosophy, and you have the "Atkin's Diet" and "The South Beach Diet" as specific forms of that philosophy. Same with Direct. I look at "Direct" as the overall guiding philosophy, and The Four Modes Of Behavior/Mode One as a specific form of the direct attitude approach. In other words, there might be other forms of "directly" approaching women that might slightly differ from some of my specific principles, beliefs, and philosophies.
So, I don't 100% agree that "Mode One" and "The Direct Attitude" are exactly the same. When you're truly Mode One with women, you really don't have to worry about 'looking out' for manipulative type women. They will either a) leave you alone or b ) modify their behavior so that it is non-manipulative. But for those guys who are consistently exhibiting Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, you cannot dismiss manipulative types that easy. It's just not possible. Anytime you're main focus is on being "liked" by women, and you have a profound fear of being rejected by women and/or harshly criticized by women, then you are going to be vulnerable to manipulative tactics by women. Guaranteed. That's why so many men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior eventually become frustrated and bitter, and then turn to Mode Four Behavior. And that's why I wrote the book that I did.... But damnit, since you pointed that out ... yes. That is probably the #1 main message of my book. This is how I get most men to realize why Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior is so ineffective, and why you can't whine and bitch about women's undesirable behavior towards you. Is because of this one thing that Pastiche (sadly!) pointed out: The only way a woman can exhibit misleading and/or manipulative behavior towards you is when you are either directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally, consciously or subconsciously ... exhibiting misleading and/or manipulative behavior towards her Same with being vague & ambiguous. Women can't really be vague and ambiguous towards you unless you're allowing them to (i.e., exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior) My take on "ego" and how it affects your behavior.... Imagine if every one of your ten fingers had an 'ego.' Your pinky finger would probably say, "Why does the index finger get used so much?" The finger next to the pinky finger would say, "I feel so fuckin' ignored!!" The thumb would say, "I'm the biggest, so I deserve the most respect around here...." The index finger would say, "I'm #1 around here..." and the middle finger would say, "Fuck all of you all. I run shit around here." I'm being mostly lighthearted, but the reality is, our egos cause us to put too much emphasis on our own perceived 'importance', and similarly, too much focus on how other people perceive us, and whether or not they 'like' or 'dislike' our behavior. Your ego causes you to seek approval and validation from people. As if you have something to "prove." The positive side of your ego is that when you are receiving many compliments from people, and a high degree of "positive, flattering reactions" from people ... you feel good about yourself. But on the flip side, when you are receiving criticisms from people, and a high degree of negative and/or unenthusiastic reactions from, you begin to feel undesirable and/or insecure. The ego is always going to be a "double-edged sword" for you. My thoughts are similar to Stephen R. Covey, author of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."
The #1 thing that should guide your behavior is these two things: 1) What do you want to achieve in life?? What goals & objectives do you want to accomplish that will enhance your enjoyment of life?? 2) What values, principles, ethics, and convictions are you not willing to sacrifice or compromise while in pursuit of those same highly desired goals and objectives?? Everything else is secondary, if not totally irrelevant. Example of an "egotistically indifferent" man (Mode One) approaching a woman: i) He identifies the woman he wants to approach ii) He approaches her iii) He expresses his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to her in the most highly self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest, and unapologetic manner as possible iv) He doesn't really concern himself with whether the woman 'liked' his approach or 'disliked' his approach; Criticisms become irrelevant; v) Either she reciprocates his interests, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, no big deal. He moves on to the next woman of interest. Example of an "egotistically insecure" man approaching a woman: i) He identifies the woman he wants to approach ii) He begins to wonder, "Am I handsome enough? Do I make enough money? Do I drive the right car? Is my penis big enough? Did I attend the right college? Do I know the right people??" iii) If his insecurities get the best of him, he fails to even approach the woman. If he approaches, his insecurities cause him to immediately want to talk about things that he thinks will "impress" the woman (e.g., "you know I drive a Mercedes don't you?" "I make six figures...." "I have a house on the beach..." "This watch is a Rolex...." etc) iv) If she criticizes him, or behaves unenthusiastically, his insecurities become magnified. "What is wrong with me?" is what he is thinking subconsciously. "I flattered her ... said impressive things ... but she still is not acting interested ... what is wrong with me? Or what is wrong with my approach?? Am I not good-looking enough??" v) If she shows some interest, the man will more-than-likely continue to flatter the woman and offer to 'wine & dine' her in order to impress her. If she's not interested, he might call her a "bitch," and continue to feel insecure, and adopt the belief that "something is wrong with me ... something about me is undesirable." You have to conquer your ego if you want to truly be successful with women. Very much so. Covey's book was probably one of my Top 3 influences for writing Mode One.
I would say aside from my own experiences interacting with women, and my observations of watching other men interacting with women, my Top 3 "outside" influences for Mode One were... 1) John Leslie's character of "Jack" in "Talk Dirty To Me" and "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" 2) Stephen R. Covey's principles in "The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People" 3) James Allen's principles in "As A Man Thinketh" The main theme of Covey's book is, "Don't worry about factors in your life that are out of your [direct] control." He divides all activities in your life as.... i) Direct Control activities (You have control over the activity, and result of the activity, such as cooking a dish / baking a cake) ii) Indirect Control activities (You have control over the activity, but not necessarily the result of the activity, such as going in for a job interview or being elected to public office) iii) No Control activities (You neither have control over the activity or the result of the activity, such as preventing bad weather or preventing people from talking about you behind your back) Most activities related to dating & seduction fall into the "Indirect Control" category. In other words, you have total control over how you behave towards women ... and how you allow them to behave towards you ... but you have very little, if any control over how they choose to respond to you and your behavior towards them. I would recommend "Seven Habits" to anyone and everyone who's never read it before. I rarely, if ever, specifically strive to be 'nice' towards people (Mode Two). But on the flip side, I don't ever specifically try to be 'mean' or 'insulting' to people either (Mode Four). I just concentrate on letting people know my honest desires, interests, intentions, and thoughts in an upfront, straightforward manner. If they 'like' what I say ... cool. If they 'dislike' what I say ... so be it. You can't allow other people's 'displeasure' and/or 'disapproval' of what you say dictate your degree of honesty and straightforwardness. If you do, you'll find yourself being manipulated by other people's comments, compliments, and criticisms for the rest of your life. Golden rule of life: You're never, never, ever, ever going to please everyone with how you act, and how you express yourself, so you might as well act the way you want to act and express yourself the way you want to express yourself. 1) Even Comecuca agreed with the fact that when you're exhibiting Mode One Behavior, you don't really have to worry about if a woman is being manipulative or not. When you're Mode One, the manipulative tendencies of women are pretty much a "non-issue." Even women themselves have said that to me. I've had at least three or four women say to me, "Alan, one thing I can't stand about 'straightforward' behavior is that it diminishes my ability to manipulate men...." When your behavior is upfront, straightforward, specific, and hardline ... you really can't be manipulated by women.
2) The area where I think Comecuca and I have "differences of opinion" is when it comes to expressing your desires & interests to women in an indirect manner towards women. My basic attitude is, anytime you exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior towards women, you're setting yourself up to be manipulated by women. Example of how being DIRECT (Mode One) prevents manipulation: Your objective: To have one (or more) episodes of casual, non-monogamous sex Her objective: To get you to pay for two or three dinners without giving you any sex, or for that matter, even a kiss You: "So ... let's hook up next Friday ..." Her: "I don't know ... I'm supposed to hang out with my girlfriends. What did you have in mind?" You: "Well, among other things, you and I seeing how many times we can make each other cum..." Her: "Excuse me?!?!?" You (calm): "You're excused..." Her: "I don't even know you that well!!" You: "And your point is . . ." Her: "I don't have sex with guys on the first date!!" You: "Okay. Come over to my place on Thursday, I'll cook you a couple of burgers, and then Friday ... I'll fuck you ...." Her: "You are so shallow!! All you want to do is get in my pants!!!" You: "And your point is . . . " Her: "We are NOT getting together next Friday, or the Friday after that!! A real man would take a woman out to a four-star restaurant and treat her to dinner!" You: "Now why would I want to do that if I don't even know how well you suck dick?" Her: "You!!! You!!! Jerk!!!!" You (laughing): "Flattery will get you nowhere...." You know where she stands ... she knows where you stand. Neither one of you budge. Example of how being INDIRECT (Mode Two) allows manipulation: Your objective: To have one (or more) episodes of casual, non-monogamous sex Her objective: To get you to pay for two or three dinners without giving you any sex, or for that matter, even a kiss You: "So ... let's hook up next Friday ..." Her: "I don't know ... I'm supposed to hang out with my girlfriends. What did you have in mind?" You: "You want to have dinner ... then catch a movie?" Her: "I'm pretty picky on what I eat ..." You: "I'm flexible. What did you have in mind?" Her: "The French restaurant in Manhattan...." (In your mind, you're like "Damn! That place costs $50-$75 per plate!!") You: "That's a top-of-the-line restaurant..." Her: "I'm a top-of-the-line woman." You: "Okay. Let's go dutch ..." Her (laughs): "Surely you're kidding. I don't do 'dutch' on dates. A real man pays for the woman." You: "Okay ... you're right." ::Fast Forward to right after the date::
Her: "That movie was great! I love any movie with Hugh Grant in it. And Drew Barrymore is always excellent." You: "Let's go back to my place...." Her: "For what?" You: "You know ... get a little bit more acquainted with one another ..." Her: "I would love to ... but I have to get up early in the morning. I have a lot of things to do..." You (lean in to kiss her, but she rebuffs you by turning her head) Her: "You're moving a bit too fast for me. I have to get to know you better before I kiss you...." You: "I guess." Her: "Hey ... there is a great concert coming to town! All Star performers!!" (In your mind, you know exactly what concert ... $80.00 per ticket!!) You: "Okay ... you buy us a couple of tickets then ..." Her: "What?? Are you joking? I never pay for my own tickets. A real man pays for a woman's ticket!" You: "Well ... okay ... but you're going to have to treat me on our third date ...." Her: "I'll think about it..." ::Fast Forward to right after the second date:: Her: "That concert was great!!" You: "Let's go back to your place...." Her: "Not possible." You: "okay, my place..." Her: "I'm a bit tired ...." You: "Okay. We've gone on two dates ... and I've come out of pocket for you ... and I haven't even gotten a kiss. What is going on??" Her: "I have to be honest with you. I don't feel any romantic chemistry with you. None at all. But I think you would make a great platonic friend!! Is that cool with you??" (Uh Oh ... A Mode Four explosion coming) You: "What the fuck?? I've spent over $150 on your spoiled ass! The least I can get is a fuckin' kiss!!" Her: "You're crazy! You jerk!! I don't 'owe' you anything!!! A real man wouldn't take a woman out and expect something in return!! You jerk!!" You: "The only reason I took you out was to fuck you, you bitch!!" Her: "Take me home! Now!! You are an asshole!!!" You being direct: downside - you didn't get to fuck her upside - you didn't waste any time or money You being indirect: downside - you didn't get to fuck her bigger downside - you wasted hours talking to her on the phone, and chatting with her in person, plus you came out of pocket about $150.00 or more She was able to manipulate you financially because you were trying to 'sneak' in her pants through the 'back door' (i.e., 'wining & dining' her to motivate her interest) I'm not at all saying that EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET is going to be 'on the prowl' to take advantage of you. There are some 'good' women out there. But the reality is, there are many Attention Whores, Gold Diggers, and Cock Teasers out there looking for a new simp to take advantage of. When you're vague, ambiguous, and indirect about what you want ... you set yourself up to be played.
You notice I stated her "objective" upfront? I did that for a reason. Sure, there are some women who will give you "token" resistance ... I'm not doubting that. I've had many women in my life offer me "token" resistance. But the reality is, there are some women that once you make your desires, interests, and intentions specifically clear, they want no part of you. For example, most women who are looking for the "free lunch" or "free dinner" before telling you that they're not interested are not going to give you any pussy. I don't care how 'persistent' you become with them, they're just not going to give you any pussy. Maybe in my example I should've put "woman ends the conversation and walks away" so that it wouldn't make you feel like she's just giving "token" resistance. When you deal with women, there are always going to be FOUR GENERAL CATEGORIES of women you're going to run into: 1) Women who are interested in you, that have no problem letting you know this. 2) Women who are not interested in you, that have no problem letting you know this. [Note: When dealing with women from the above two categories, you really don't need to be Mode One. Even if you're Mode Two, these women will let their interests (or lack thereof) be known.] 3) Women who are interested in you, but will initially try to "pretend" as though they're not (example: The female doctor in "Talk Dirty To Me"); You can break these women down by exhibiting Mode One Behavior 4) Women who are not interested in you, but will initially try to "pretend" as though they are in order to soak up flattering attention from you, take advantage of you financially, or just generally toy with you and waste your time. Where I think Comecuca and I don't see "eye-to-eye" is in regards to the Category #4 women. I think we generally agree on Categories #1, #2, and #3, but Comecuca ... based on his comments ... seems to believe that if you're "persistent" with the women in Category #4, that you will be able to turn them into women in Category #1 or Category #3. What I'm saying is, no you can't. If a woman is not interested in you, she's not interested in you. Women who are truly in Category #4 are not going to 'crack' as a result of persistence. Once you exhibit Mode One Behavior, Category #4 women will turn into Category #2 women. But if you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three with Category #4 women, you will end up wasting time and/or money before they finally let you know that they are not interested in you. Bottom line: Anytime you exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, you're going to always have a "hard time" identifying women in Categories #3 and #4. That's why Mode One Behavior is so important. When you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three with a woman in Category #3, you're going to mistake her for a Category #2 woman; When you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three with a woman in Category #4, you're going to mistake her for a Category #1 woman. This is why Mode One Behavior is so important....
We all agree that when a man exhibits Mode One Behavior (as opposed to Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior), he doesn't have to even worry about a woman being manipulative. I don't see any disagreement from anyone here. We all agree that women in Category #3 will many times offer "token resistance," but will morethan-likely eventually give in to your desires, interests, and intentions if you're Mode One. And now you're saying if a woman is Category #4, then you're just going to end up wasting time and/or money pursuing a woman that will never give you any pussy if you exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. I've said this before: The only time you have to worry about women being 'manipulative' is if you're exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. That's the only reason it is even emphasized in my book. When you are Mode One, the manipulative tendencies of women become irrelevant and ineffective. But where I think you're making a mistake is to assume that even if you're Mode Two, you don't have to worry about manipulative women. That is so far from the truth. The most common example: Going to a strip club. I know guys who will go to a strip club, and spend $50-$100 (if not more), and not get their dick sucked or get any pussy. I know men that will spend literally THOUSANDS of dollars on women who they haven't fucked yet. Are you kidding me?!? Now to say that you would never do such a thing, I can accept. That's good on your part. But to suggest that no other men do this, and the only ones that do are dumb asses?? I would have to disagree with that. They're not "dumb" per se, they're just naive and ignorant to the ways of manipulative women. Or ... they're being manipulative, and they think they're getting over when in reality the women are getting over on them. This is why when many of you try to suggest that the manipulative tendencies of women is "not really worth thinking about" is not valid in my mind. I can't speak for where you all live, but I lived in Los Angeles. I literally saw women manipulating men on a daily basis. There are women in Beverly Hills, Malibu, Westwood, Brentwood, Santa Monica, and other parts of L.A. that have never paid their own rent/mortgage. Have never paid their car note. Have never paid for their own dinners or lunches. Most of the 8s, 9s, and 10s in L.A. are "on the take." They're not going to walk up to you and simply say, "Hey ... my name is Glenda and I'm a gold digger!" Uhm ... no. They're more smooth and savvy than that. Again ... when you're Mode One with women ... it doesn't matter. You're safe. But if you're being Mode Two or Mode Three with [manipulative] women? You're dead meat. Well, one of my primary 'demographic groups' of men is the men you're referring to as being "retarded." Actually, I'm not quite that harsh. I just simply refer to them as "misinformed." They have accepted invalid beliefs and attitudes that caused them to be this way. Reading Mode One, among other things, breaks them out of this ineffective beliefs.... If you read my book, you will see I don't make too many "very broad" generalizations. So, generally speaking, I stay away from them.
But if I had to be honest ... given a choice between the two, I would rather assume that a woman was ... to some degree ... 'manipulative' ... and later on find out that I was wrong ... then to assume that a woman is not 'manipulative', and find myself getting 'played.' For the dozenth time though, when you're Mode One with women, it's a moot point anyway. Again, the manipulative tendencies of women only come into play when you're exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. I'd be halfway tempted to look at that commercial as effective IF they did show ... as you suggested ... a 'contrast' scene where she went home to an Alpha Male. But the fact of the matter is, they did not. Commercials like this send out dangerous subconscious messages to men who are impressionable, and that is why I don't like them. I personally don't like any TV commercial, sitcom, TV drama, or movie that emphasizes men 'playing up to' women's egos. Are there men who are weak asses, and play up to women in real life? Sure. I won't deny that. But there always has to be balance. Like you said, it SHOULD show men how not to behave towards women ... but the key word is "should." Speaking for myself, if anyone on here has heard many of my podcast shows with The Dean, they already know how strongly I feel about movies, TV shows, and commercials that repeatedly send out wrong messages to men. Actually, one of the reasons why I lived in Los Angeles pursuing a career as a screenwriter & filmmaker was for that very reason. If [young] men were not impressionable, books like mine wouldn't even be needed, and forums like this wouldn't even need to exist. Every man would naturally know just by his male DNA and genetics what behavior to exhibit towards women, and we all know that is not the case. Comecuca, you're contradicting yourself again. If you're saying that discussing this commercial was a waste of time, then why did you waste time with all of those posts criticizing me for supposedly "blaming" women for all of men's frustrations and misogynistic behavior?!? I mean ... according to you ... can't these men "think for themselves??" Why would any of them need you to point that out?? The reason why you were concerned about the messages I was delivering was because you basically said that you thought some young guy on here would get "the wrong impression of what Mode One is about," which in your opinion was the idea of 'blaming' women for men being date rapists, and me supposedly putting too much emphasis on women being manipulative. Bottom line: You were concerned about how some of the guys on here would receive my comments, opinions, principles, and philosophies. I recommend that book on page 157 of "Mode One." Also, I include the very good quote from "Three Kings" in my "Mode One" book on page 130: Corporal Archie Gates (George Clooney) tells Soldier Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze), "You're scared, right? The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared shitless of, and you get the courage after you do it ... not before you do it ..."
In other words, you gain confidence and courage after you take action (i.e., approaching women) ... not before you take action. What I find hurts a lot of men ... particularly those with various forms of 'social anxiety' ... is a form of egoism that causes you to focus too much attention and emphasis on how you're going to be perceived by other people. When you approach women, you can't focus on the women's subjective perceptions of you. You have to focus on your own ability to walk up to a woman, and your own ability to verbally communicate to that woman that you have an enthusiastic interest in sharing her company. The latter is within your control. Taking action is confidence that you control. Being perceived in a positive and/or favorable light is out of your control. It is a woman's choice to respond to you in a positive manner, negative manner, or indifferent manner. Hope this helps . . . When you approach women, and throw out the idea of getting together with them one-on-one, and they fail to give you a definite "yes" or "no" response, that generally means one of two things: 1) They're trying to 'qualify' you. They're asking questions to see what 'similarities' and 'differences' you two have before they make their decision to hook up with you. and/or 2) They're feeling you out to see if you're a 'simp' (i.e., a guy they can potentially manipulate and run game on). By being purposely 'vague' and 'ambiguous', they're trying to force you to throw out some sort of 'incentive' or 'reward' to them in exchange for their companionship (e.g., an offer to 'wine & dine' them, an offer to engage in a lengthy, entertaining, and flattering conversation with them, etc) When I'm in that situation, I do a few things .... i) I immediately put a "time limit" on the conversation (e.g., "I only have about four or five more minutes to converse with you before I have to take off ...") ii) Persist in shooting for extending the conversation at some point in the future (e.g., "You'll have plenty of time to ask me twenty questions when you invite me over your place next weekend ...") iii) I never offer to 'wine & dine' the woman, or offer to hang out with her AND her girlfriends. That is when they know they have you. If you want to take her out, make it somewhere inexpensive. And only allow her to share your company one-on-one. A double date can be cool (one of your buddies, and one of hers), but none of that you hanging out with her and two or three of her girlfriends shit. Final thing: As much as possible, know what you want ahead of time. Your approaches to women are much stronger when you have an idea what you want (i.e., one-night stand? Weekend fling? Indefinite casual sex? A possible long-term, monogamous relationship? Etc) When you're "indecisive" about what you want, your approach generally comes off "weak." College campus interactions, in many ways, are so much different than male-female interactions of other types. I had so much fun interacting with women in college, it wasn't even funny.
The main thing, you can really take a lot of TIME getting to know women. There is never a "rush" for anything. I'm generally a patient guy anyway, but many real-world interactions dictate that you don't waste time. The only thing I would stress is make it clear that you're not looking to become any woman's "play brother" and/or "study buddy." Let those women know that at some point in time, you're looking to exchange orgasms. Other than that, operate at your own pace.... I've found in my experience, you can't let women do too much "extraneous" talking. Once a woman sees that you're allowing her to engage in too much "fluff talk" and "small talk," then she's going to "Friend Zone" you. I agree that 'getting to know a woman' is a good thing, and allowing her to 'get to know you' is beneficial, but there still has to be a 'line' drawn in the sand, so to speak, that separates you from the future "play brothers" and "study buddies" in her life. Bottom line, there is a difference between "getting to know each other" while still being Mode One, and "getting to know each other" while being Mode Two and/or Mode Three. Mode One: You clearly communicate to a woman upfront that you want to exchange orgasms with her. Then, if she wants to 'feel you out' some more before sleeping with you, then that is okay. Mode Two: You do a lot of talking and 'getting to know one another', and then after a few conversations you let her know your true romantic and/or sexual interests. (The "Pleasant Postponer") Mode Three: You do a lot of talking and 'getting to know one another', but you never really let your interests be known. You more or less 'hide' or 'camouflage' the fact that you want to date her or fuck her (The "Phony Pretender") A woman has to know that you're not just talking to her for entertainment. I've never been "against" platonic friendships. What I'm against is men pretending to be content with just a platonic friendship when they know deep-down they want to date that woman or have casual sex with her. That is classic Mode Three Behavior. I don't really believe in exhibiting any behavior that feels "contrived" or "rehearsed." That "sexual barrier" concept seems sort of 'contrived' to me. But that's just me. I find when you're consistently Mode One, you don't have to "act" like you're "not needy." You will naturally become that way. I hardly ever behave as though I'm 'needy' for sex. That's just not a part of me. I don't really consider myself a "seduction guru," so if you're looking for 'evidence' of such, I'm not the one. The #1 thing that gave me the 'credibility' to write my book was simply the fact that I had so many people urge me to write it. For example, if you read the Introduction to my Mode One book, you
will see that initially, I did not want to publish this book. I just wanted "Mode One" to be my own personal 'credo', so to speak. My own personal "mission statement" for dealing with women. But what happened was, a lot of my male friends, acquaintances, and associates began to experience significant improvements in their social life, love life, and sex life as a result of my initial 25-30 page pamphlet (premiered in July of 1995), and then later, my E-book (premiered December 2001). I know one guy for example that was scared to even mention the idea of a 'sexual threesome' around women, and after reading my E-Book, he now has had probably 8-10 threesomes with different women. Will my book turn you into an "overnight ladies' man?" Possibly, but not likely. Will my book turn you into an "overnight Casanova/Womanizer?" Possibly, but not guaranteed. Will my book cause you to become unaffected and unfazed by rejection and/or subjective criticisms?? YES. Will you feel more self-assured and more 'real' when you approach women? YES. you have to say whatever you feel like saying. Don't worry about what is the "right" thing to say and/or the "wrong" thing to say. Personally, I don't get into "arguments" and/or "debates" with women about individual, opinionated "perceptions" (e.g., "Do you think I'm a ho?" "Do I look like a 'slut' to you?" etc). 80-90% of the time, I literally don't even acknowledge such questions with a response. I pretty much ignore questions like these, and continue to concentrate on what my desires, interests, and intentions are. Remember Alec Baldwin's character in "Glengarry Glen Ross?" "ABC ... Always Be Closing...." Her: "Casual sex?? Do I look like a two-bit slut to you??" You: "So ... next Friday or next Saturday ...." Her: "You must think I'm an 'easy ho' or something!" You: "You look so cute when your eyebrow arches. So ... 8pm or 9pm next Friday?" Her: "I don't just go around sleeping with guys I don't know or just met!!" You: "I can make some burgers ... or fry some chicken wings. Do you eat red meat..." Her: "You are not listening to me!! I'm not going to have sex with you on the first date!!" You: "I don't believe in 'dates.' Who said anything about a 'first date'...." Her: "You men are so shallow and superficial ... all you do is look at women's bodies and think about sex!!" You: "If you don't let me know if we're hooking up next Friday or next Saturday, I'm going to take my shallow, superficial self and walk over to that other great looking woman with the hot body..." Her (lightens up a bit): "Okay ... next Friday. But no sex!!" You: "Never let your mind make promises that your body can't keep. And besides ... My invitation, my rules. You don't create any rules for me. Remember that." Her (giggles): "Okay Mr. I'm-in-charge!" (feigns a military salute) That was an example loosely based on a past conversation of mine. My general rules with insults, criticisms, and "perceptions" talk: 1) Don't acknowledge opinionated insults or criticisms; Generally, as much as possible, just ignore them.
2) As Big Mack already alluded to, you respond to women the way you want to. Don't worry about specifically getting a 'positive' and/or 'reciprocal' response from them. 3) Keep reiterating your interests and intentions (i.e., your desire to hook up with them one-on-one; your desire to exchange orgasms; etc) 4) Always talk to women as if you know for a 100% fact that they have the exact same desires, interests, and intentions as you do ... until they absolutely, positively express otherwise ... It is my personal belief that women get hornier for sex with you when you behave as though you're currently "sexually content" and patient. I very rarely, if ever, behave in an "impatient" manner towards women sexually. I also don't believe in the "she must give me some pussy by my 3rd interaction with her" rule. I always say: You have to make a personal choice as to how much time and/or money is worth investing in pursuing a woman's sexual companionship. For some men, they may only want to invest 2 or 3 days to pursue "Linda" sexually; Other men, 2 or 3 weeks; Other men, 2 or 3 months. One thing is for sure though: Unless I think I'm "falling in love" with a woman, I will never sacrifice pursuing other women sexually while I'm waiting for Ms. I'm-Making-Up-My-Mind. This why I have a problem with authors and/or gurus who emphasize positive results and/or positive/reciprocal responses & reactions. I don't like this idea that if you approach a woman, and you don't get her number, or don't end up having sex with her, then that means "your approach wasn't effective enough" or that you did something "wrong." That's bullshit. There are some women in life that are simply never, never, ever, ever going to be romantically and/or sexually interested in you. That is a fact of life. The quicker you identify these women, the better. When you're dealing with women who are "straight up" types, your approach doesn't affect the outcome as much. Some women will let you know their interests in you regardless of how you approach them. Where approach comes into play is with the women who are either... 1) Interested in you, but trying to "pretend" as though they're not ... or 2) Not interested in you, but trying to "pretend" as though they are. You have to be Mode One with these women. If you're not Mode One with the first group of women, you'll leave pussy on the table, so to speak. If you're not Mode One with the women in the second group, you'll end up wasting a lot of time and/or money for nothing. I don't really exhibit Mode One Behavior solely and specifically for the sake of pleasing women and/or enhancing their interest in me. Realistically, when you are Mode One, women's attraction to you will usually be enhanced .... but I don't allow that to be my #1 objective.
I love Mode One because I feel more confident, more natural, and more real with women. I feel like I'm truly being the man who I really want to be. The times in my life when I was Mode Two and/or Mode Three, I felt phony, wimpy, too accommodating, and just generally uncomfortable. Like I was putting on a pleasant "act" for women in order to get them to 'like' me, or to avoid being rejected or criticized. The main 'weakness' of Mode Two Behavior is that most women can 'sense' deep-down that your behavior is designed to please them, flatter them, impress them, and/or accommodate them. For many women, that is not really a 'turn-on.' It's so true: When you exhibit Mode One Behavior, you can be criticized and/or rejected by 15, 20, 25 women, and it really won't faze you or negatively affect your behavior. You might feel a tad bit disappointed, but you will never feel angry, frustrated, and/or bitter. But when you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women, you can get harshly criticized or rejected by as few as 2 or 3 women, and I can pretty much guarantee you that it will bother you for hours, days, weeks, and sometimes months. You don't need a "play sister." I'm similar to you ... I can't be a true 'platonic' male friend to a woman who I want to date or have casual sex with. I can be 'casual acquaintances' with women like that, but not a true "buddy-buddy" relationship where we are talking on the phone 2-3 times per week, and hanging out with her socially 3 - 5 times per month. Let me ask some of you posters something.... When you try to motivate someone to stop smoking, do you just simply say, "Stop smoking!" If so, does it work? When you try to motivate someone to lose weight, do you just simply say, "Stop eating so much!" If so, does it work? When you try to motivate someone to get a better job and/or make more money, do you just simply say, "You need to become rich! Now!" If so, does it work? I'm not down with posters coming on here calling other posters "weak asses." What does that fuckin' accomplish?? NOTHING. Most men who genuinely are weak don't consciously realize that the behavior they exhibit towards women is "weak." This is one of the reasons why Comecuca and I don't see eye-to-eye. His attitude seems to be, "Just concentrate on telling guys to be 'Mode One' ... forget about telling them about the flaws and weaknesses of 'Mode Two' and/or 'Mode Three' Behaviors...." And I disagree with that. The only way you're going to effectively get men to stop exhibiting Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior is by pointing out the flaws and weaknesses of each form of behavior. Otherwise, most men are going to say, "Well, what is so wrong with Mode Two?? What is so wrong with Mode Three??"
All of this attacking is unnecessary. I don't mind challenging men to break out of their old, ineffective habits, but you don't accomplish this by bashing men, attacking men, or insulting them. Just my thoughts.... To me, seducing women is easy once you've eliminated the time-wasters, pretenders, and manipulators. It really is. Seducing women is not "rocket science." If you put most men in a room with 5-10 women that genuinely wanted to date them and/or have sex with them, they really wouldn't need a book, a CD, or a DVD to help them be successful. Where a book like "Mode One" comes into play is when you have a man in a room with ten women, and five are genuinely interested in him, and the other five are pretending to be interested in him in order to soak up flattering attention from him and/or take advantage of him financially. If he's spending hours, days, weeks, and months goofing around with the latter, how will he ever hook up with the former?? That's where I'm coming from. When you focus too much time on getting in a woman's pants, you inevitably will find yourself becoming afraid of rejection and afraid of criticism & negative reactions from women. You get to a point where you start to do anything to get into a woman's pants. - flattery - wining & dining - engaging in trivial small talk - allowing yourself to be treated in an undesirable and/or disrespectful manner Anything. Just for a piece of ass. Quit playing games! Let her know in a confident, upfront, straightforward manner what it is you want from her, and either she's going to give it to you ... or she's not. It's really that simple. When you're exhibiting Mode One Behavior, the emphasis is not so much on should you be 'sexual' vs 'non-sexual' with women, but rather, the primary emphasis is simply on being who you truly are with women, and expressing your desires, interests, and intentions to women in the most highly self-assured, upfront, straight-to-the-point manner. Answering the first question, I see Mode One as a 'specific form' of the Direct Method philosophy of "No Excuses, No Manipulation" with women. For example, for dieting ... you have the low-carb philosophy, and underneath that umbrella, you have The Atkins Diet, The South Beach Diet, The Protein Shake Diet, etc. All forms of low-carb dieting routines. That's how I feel about Mode One. Mode One sort of falls under the 'umbrella' of the general Direct Method philosophies and principles. If you read my Mode One "Backstory", and some of my infamous "Same Day 'Mode One Seductions'," then you know I have been known to go up to a woman, and start talking to her in a very bold, sexually straightforward, and erotically explicit manner right away. Other women in my life, not so much. Here is when I'm sexually provocative with women from the word 'go': - When I know for a 100% fact that all I want is a one-night stand or a weekend fling with that
woman; - When I perceive that woman right off the bat as being an 'attention whore', 'gold-digger', 'cock teaser', and/or kinky, promiscuous freak type; - When I'm with a woman one-on-one, with no one else around but her and I; With women in the above categories, I'm usually talking about fucking within the first 3 - 5 minutes of the conversation. Usually, in an X-rated manner. This is when I'm almost just like 'Jack' (John Leslie) in "Talk Dirty To Me." Here is when I'm 'Mode One' in a more "R-rated" manner: - When I'm not yet sure if I want just a one-night stand/weekend fling with this woman, or a more long-term casual relationship; - When I know I just want casual sex, but I'm leery on what type of woman I'm dealing with; - When I'm conversing with a woman while other people are just a few feet away (e.g., bookstore, grocery store, post office, health club, etc.) When I'm being "R-rated," I might tone down my language (i.e., not be too 'explicit'), but everything about my behavior still says, "I want to exchange orgasms with you within the next 2 - 4 weeks..." Here is when I'm 'Mode One' with women in a "PG-13" type manner: - When I know for a 100% fact that all I want to date this woman in the context of a long-term, monogamous relationship; - When I know for a 100% fact that a woman frowns heavily on the use of profanity; - When I'm interacting with a woman while one or more of her girlfriends are around, or her brother(s) or platonic 'male friends' are around Did you see the movie, "Must Love Dogs" with John Cusack and Diane Lane? Jake (Cusack) is, for the most part, 'Mode One' with Sarah (Lane) on their first date. Jake didn't use profanity, or erotically explicit language, but at the same time, he didn't 'beat around the bush' regarding what he wanted from her (a long-term, monogamous relationship). They end up going to drug stores looking for condoms after the first date. ********** People on here keep using this example of simply walking up to a woman, and saying, 'I want to fuck you....' That's bold and straightforward, but that is not smooth. That's the problem I have with walking up to a woman, and simply saying that right off the bat. I don't see that 'line' as having a high potential to get a woman's pussy wet. Let's say you walk up to a beautiful woman, and simply say, "I want to fuck you....," and in response she says.... a) "Well ... that's fine. But I have to ask my husband first. You know, the guy who was the 2005 Ultimate Fighting Champion. He's right over there...." b) "Oh really? Do you mind the fact that I have the HIV virus??" c) "Okay, cool! I have to tell you though ... I'm two months pregnant!!" d) "Wow. Now that was bold. I used to be that bold when I was a man. BEFORE my transgender operation." e) "Ooooooooooh. That was sexy. Can my boyfriend watch? He and I are both bi-sexual...." f) "Well that's cool ... I like your original approach ... but I have an appointment in 10 minutes, and
right after that, I'm flying back to my home country. I'm just visiting here. I've been here a week. Too bad I didn't meet you earlier!!" See what I'm getting at? You can't just see a woman, walk up to her, and simply say, "I want to fuck you..." I've only done that maybe 5% of the time with women. Mainly, women who I knew were kinky freaks and/or cock teaser-flirtatious attention whore types. The #1 time I get sexually provocative with women fairly quickly is when I invite them to share my company, one-on-one, in the next week or two, and they specifically ask me something like, "So ... when we hook up, what are we going to do?" or "Are you asking me to share your company so you can get in my pants?" That's when I will never back down from letting my true [sexual] interests be known.... In my personal experiences conversing with and interacting with women, I have found that women who are genuinely not interested in you very rarely, if ever, become "emotional" (e.g., angry, pissed off, harshly critical, etc). 99% of the time, they just calmly say, "I'm not interested." I almost love it when a woman starts going off on me and harshly criticizing me like the female physician in that opening scene in "Talk Dirty To Me." I almost start licking my lips and rubbing my hands together. Because at that point, I know I have her where I want her. Manipulative methods of attracting & seducing women can be just as effective as nonmanipulative methods of attracting & seducing women. Here is my analysis of each: You should employ subtle, indirect, manipulative methods of attracting & seducing women if you... - are afraid of being criticized by women; - are afraid of being harshly rejected by women; - want to 'pretend' to be interested in a long-term relationship, even though in reality, you just want casual sex; - are afraid of being [potentially] perceived as 'shallow,' 'promiscuous,' or 'superficial'; - want every woman you meet to 'like' you and say 'good things' about you; - have a lot of time and/or money you're willing to invest in pursuing a woman's romantic and/or sexual companionship - are willing to risk being manipulated by women and/or having your time wasted by women; You should exhibit upfront, direct, non-manipulative behavior towards women if you... - don't like to waste a lot of time pursuing a woman's romantic and/or sexual companionship; - have come to the firm realization that being indirect opens you up for women to 'use' you and engage in 'manipulative head games' with you; - want to create opportunities to have casual sex with women within 24 hours or less after you meet them; - want to diminish the motivation of gold-digger types and attention whore types from wanting to share your company; - could care less about women's subjective perceptions and criticisms of your behavior and/or your manner of verbal expression;
- are the type that doesn't let being 'rejected' by women negatively affect your behavior or your sense of self-confidence - want to be able to quickly identify "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites" (i.e., women who 'pretend' to be 'innocent,' 'wholesome,' semi-prudish 'good girls,' when in reality, they are kinky, erotically uninhibited, sexually experienced vixens who have no problem indulging in regular, semi-regular, or occasional episodes of casual sex) This has been my experience with both methods. Bottom line: Both methods & philosophies have 'strengths' and 'drawbacks.' Most men who can't handle being criticized or receiving 'negative' reactions from women tend to favor 'indirect' methods more; Most men who don't like wasting time or being manipulated by women tend to favor 'direct' methods more. You really can't 'blend' the two; Some men say, "Well why can't I start out being 'indirect' ... and then become more 'direct'??" That's not really possible. If you start out being indirect, then pretty much your whole approach becomes indirect. Either your approach is direct or it's indirect. pretty much all forms of dating is a "numbers game" ... to one degree or another. Regardless of whether your primary interest is a relationship, or simply casual sex. That's just reality.... Going back to the main issue of this thread ... deciding whether to be totally upfront and straight-tothe-point regarding your sexual interests towards a woman ... or to be sort of 'romantic' and 'caring' first, let me give you some insight based on two recent conversations I've had with women: Yesterday, meeting with an organizer of an upcoming book signing event of mine: (Towards the end of the meeting) Her: "Alan ... I'm so glad to have you as the featured author at our event..." Me: "Look forward to it." Her: "So ... just out of curiosity ... how do most women you meet respond to you being so upfront and candid about your desire to ... uhm ... (blushes a bit) ... you know ..." Me: "My desire to fuck them?" Her (giggles): "Yes. Have you ever been slapped or cursed out?? When you just come right out and say bold, X-rated things to women?" Me: "Slapped? No. Never. Cursed out? (laughs) Yes. I would call it 'harshly criticized' ..." Her: "That's what I would expect." Me: "Why would you automatically expect a negative reaction more so than a positive response?" Her: "Because most women I know don't like to be sexually straightforward with men ... and they don't like men to be sexually straightforward with them..." Me: "Why? Be specific..." Her: "Because most women find it crass, disrespectful, inappropriate, or even insulting...." Me: "Why though ... be specific ...." Her: "For starters, most women don't like to be perceived as 'promiscuous' or 'whores'. Not all women are sluts..." Me: "So because I'm upfront about the fact that I want to have sex with you, that automatically makes you a 'promiscuous whore' or a 'slut'?? Do you define yourself ... or are you defined by how you assume I perceive you to be..." Her (giggles): "Good question Alan. I know who I am ... I know I'm not a 'whore' or a 'slut'.'" Me: "Okay. Then what's the real issue." Her: "I guess ... when a man is upfront about his desire to ... uhm ... fuck me ... then that eliminates
opportunities for other types of interactions..." Me: "Such as..." Her: "You know. I might want to be 'just friends' with that guy. I might want to be his bowling partner. I might want to be his drinking buddy. I might want to be his business partner. Lots of things." Me: "Then why not just say, 'I'm not interested in you sexually right now. Sorry, but I'm just not. But I would still like to maintain a platonic friendship with you.' That solves that...." Her: "Well ... sort of ...." Me: "What do you mean, 'sort of'..." Her: "Well, if you tell a guy you have absolutely no interest in having sex with him ... 90% chance, he's going to leave you alone. Assuming sex was his #1 objective." Me: "So. If he's interested in having sex with you, but you're not .... why not make that clear, and if he leaves you alone and ceases his interactions with you ... so what?" Her: "All women want guys that they can just hang out with ... without any sexual expectations ..." Me: "Without any sexual expectations on your end, or their end? Why not make it crystal clear that you have no sexual interest in them, and take it from there...." Her: "I already told you! The man will then leave you alone! He won't talk to you on the phone or hang out with you [socially]!" Me: "Why should he? That man, if he's single, needs to be out with a woman who he's dating or fucking. Why waste time with 'platonic' female friends...." Her: "So you're 'anti-platonic' friendship, huh..." Me: "I didn't say that. If you're interacting with a man who you have no sexual interest in ... and you know for a 100% fact that this man has no sexual interest in you .... then that's cool. That's a genuine platonic friendship. But if you're not interested in having sex with him .... but he's interested in dating you, or having sex with you, then it is manipulative of you to maintain that 'friendship', if that's what you want to call it...." Her: "How is that manipulative?" Me: "Because what you're essentially doing is ... you're holding up the possibility of sex in the future as sort of a 'carrot on a stick'. That guy ... Ralph, Brian, Bobby, whoever ... will continue to talk to you, and hang out with you, with the faint hope that 'one day' he might end up fucking you. That's manipulative on your part. You should tell him upfront, 'I don't have any interest in you sexually at this particular point in time. If that means you're going to leave me alone now, then so be it.'...." Her: "Alan ... it's obvious you don't know women as well as I thought you did ...." Me: "I beg to differ." Her: "No woman is ever going to burn her bridges like that. If a woman says something like that, she's eliminating her opportunities for further ..." Me (abruptly cutting her off): "... manipulation. Plain and simple. If a man thinks he 'might' fuck you sometime in the future, he's going to be more willing to flatter you ... more willing to 'wine & dine' you ... more willing to engage in 'trivial small talk' with you .... more willing to waste time hanging out with you socially. That man is looking to be 'rewarded' with your romantic and/or sexual companionship, and you know it." Her: "Well ... I disagree ... but let's say you are right. What is so wrong with getting a guy to be friends with me by not closing the door on the idea of him having sex with me?" Me: "It's obvious you don't know men as well as I thought you did. The reason you have misogynists, rapists, and serial killers of women is in part because of women who mislead men, manipulate them, and toy with their feelings and expectations." Her: "Well, who knows ... maybe I learned something today." Me: "No 'maybe' to it ... I just dropped knowledge on you today. But deep-down, you knew the truth anyway. I gotta go..." Sorry for the lengthy dialogue, but see what I'm talking about? Women who are manipulative and
duplicitous don't like Mode One Behavior. Why? Because it's "too sexual?" "crass?" "offensive?" "socially inappropriate / rude??" Those are the reasons they will tell you. But in reality, 90-99% of the reason why most women don't like men being upfront & straightforward about their sexual desires, interests, and intentions is because women don't like to eliminate opportunities to 'use' men and manipulate men. When you're Mode One with women, you force women to do one of two things: a) Either totally acknowledge that they have a romantic and/or sexual interest in you... or b) Totally acknowledge that they don't have a romantic and/or sexual interest in you... You see, most men are afraid of 'rejection.' What you really should be afraid of is manipulation. Manipulative, duplicitous women don't like to reject men. Remember that. The above conversation confirms that. If manipulative type women were to reject every single man they weren't interested in dating or having sex with, who would they 'use', manipulate, and play games with?? Exactly. I'd rather a woman criticize me and/or reject me ... then to compliment me on her way to manipulating me. ####################################### And if that conversation wasn't enough ... I had one more with a woman who is interested in doing an upcoming "Mode One" video I'm going to be filming later on this year.... Her: "I am so excited to audition for your Digital Video!! Your book had me so intrigued..." Me: "Cool. Good to hear." Her: "I bet women hate you though ... (giggles) ..." Me: "Why would you say that?" Her: "Because! You're telling all of our hidden 'secrets'!" Me: "Like...." Her: "Duh. Chapter Six in your book?? Wholesome Pretenders? Erotic Hypocrites??" Me: "(laughs) So .. you liked that chapter huh...." Her: "I loved it. But I know some women will hate that. Most women are Wholesome Pretenders." Me: "I know." Her: "I've been a Wholesome Pretender at times myself. If a guy I'm attracted to just comes up and tells me, 'I want to fuck you this weekend,' I might be turned on by that ... but I will act like I'm 'offended' at first though...." Me: "Why?" Her: "Because society tells women to be. We're not supposed to give in to a man's sexual wishes that quickly. Even if we want to. That makes us look like horny whores." Me: "Yeah, many women say that." Her: "But at the same time ... I hate the corny lines that the 'nice guys' use on me. It's so laughable. I'm like 'don't they get it??' (giggles)" Me: "Don't they get what...." This is important ... she makes a point that I stress in my book Her: "Most women don't want to fuck the 'nice guy.' We just keep them around for when we're bored, and don't have anything to do. Nice guys always will listen to you vent about your problems, and they will always offer to treat you to a free lunch, free dinner, or free movie. So, I'm not going to be 'mean' to the Nice Guy types ... but I'm not going to sleep with them either. But I might make
them think that I will...." Me: "So you can manipulate them." Her: "Of course! But they should know by now we're doing that. That's why I said, 'Don't they get it??' No woman wants to fuck a guy who kisses our ass for sex. That is SUCH a turn-off. Fawning over me is such a turn-off. I like a man who who just comes right out with it. He tells me stuff like, 'you know you want some of this good dick. you know you do.' I might act like he's turning me off, but in reality, that shit turns me on. I love a man who talks to me like he knows for a fact that I want him, and that I will enjoy myself in bed with him. A guy who is not begging for sex is a turn-on. I think you know that though...(giggles)" Me: "Yes. I do. Nice guy types don't get laid." Her: "(laughs) Ha! They sure don't!! Well, unless they're rich! I'll fuck a nice guy if he's paying for my house, my car, and my clothes!! (laughs) No, I'm just playing. I'm not a gold-digger!" Me: "Yeah ... right. Sure you aren't. Anyways ... let me tell you about the video..." See fellas?? See what I'm talking about?? This is why my concept of the "Wholesome Pretender" (and "Erotic Hypocrite") are so relevant. Many women will pretend to be 'turned off' by bold, upfront, sexually straightforward talk (think about the female doctor in "Talk Dirty To Me") because they think they're SUPPOSED TO BE "offended" or "insulted." But deep-down ... if they're attracted to you ... that doesn't turn them off. And if they're not attracted to you ... so what? At least you don't waste time. What I love about you fellas ... and why I frequent here so much ... is because most of you guys get it. When I was on message boards like SoSuave.com, AskMen.com, and a couple of other message boards, they didn't get it. For most guys, the idea of being 'manipulated' by women is a distant thought. They're just thinking about getting their dicks wet as quickly as possible with the most attractive woman as possible. Mode One goes deeper than that. Sure ... you'll get your share of pussy ... that's not even a concern. When you exhibit Mode One Behavior consistently ... you'll get laid. But what about beyond that? What about not wasting time with some of these ultra-manipulative, duplicitous, sexually hypocritical women out here? Those are the women who essentially create misogynists. I've met men who literally want to kill women because of the manipulative 'head games' that women have played with them. I've had guys write me and say, "I HATE WOMEN Alan. Please help me. I passionately hate women. Sometimes I have crazy thoughts of going Ted Bundy (a famed serial killer of women) on women. Just killing them with no regrets. They stepped on my heart and crushed my feelings and now I want revenge...." Email messages like this are definitely in the minority, but still, that concerns me. I can relate to you guys, because after reading my book ... and then reading some of the examples I give ... most of you say, "Damnit! I fuckin' get it now!!! These women have been playin' our asses and we didn't even know it!! Mother fucker!!" More narrow-minded guys say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah ... that's all good and all Alan ... but is this gonna get me laid this Friday night at the bar? That's all I want to know. If I go out this Friday and see 'Ms. Hottie,' will your bold, brash 'tell it like it is' methods work on her? I say no. I say I get slapped or have a drink thrown in my face. I'm sorry dude, but I'm going with NLP or hypnosis. Or even classic, guaranteed pick-up lines..." You all get it. And for that, I'm thankful and appreciative.
A sequel will be coming within the next year or so, and my DVD/Informational Video should be ready for sale sometime between September and December..... The comment in bold is right on point. My book ... like Stephen R. Covey's "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People" (a damn good book) ... emphasizes controlling the factors in your life that you have control over. A lot of men want to blame women for their frustrations, and a lot of women want to blame men for their dating problems and disappointments. The only way a woman can manipulate you is if.... a) You're either directly, or indirectly, trying to manipulate her ... and/or b) You're exhibiting behavior that is so weak, vague, indecisive and ineffective that it allows women to manipulate you, disrespect you, or at minimum, simply waste your [valuable] time ... ... you're allowing your ego to offer excuses for not exhibiting self-confident, highly self-assured behavior. You need re-read pages 110-115 (and very top of 116) of my book. One thing I rarely, if ever do ... is concern myself with the possibility and/or potential for negative responses/reactions from women that might happen in the future. It's one thing if you come on here and say, "I said 'XYZ' to ten women in the last six weeks, and all I received was highly insulting, extremely negative responses from women...." Then, you might have a halfway valid reason for second guessing your specific words or comments. But when you're anticipating "negative" responses and reactions, that's a bad sign. Like I said ... that means your ego is playing too big of a role in your desired approach. I've talked to a lot of women about their perceptions about what makes a man seem "creepy," and the number one response I get is, "When it's obvious a man wants to express an interest in you (romantic or sexual), but he's not being forthright about it. He's 'beating around the bush' in a major way. That's when I think a guy is 'creepy' ..." In other words, when you want to have casual sex with a woman ... and you confidently come right out and let that be known ... the vast majority of women do not find that 'creepy.' But if you're interested in casual sex with a woman ... but you come across as 'nervous,' unconfident, and/or like you're 'pretending' as though you don't have such an interest ... then that's when you tend to be perceived as 'creepy' by women. More insight into the effectiveness of Mode One Behavior ... From a conversation I had yesterday.... Woman: "I really loved your book...." Me: "Cool. So why did it resonate with you, given that you're a woman..." Woman: "Because you didn't promote the idea of 'playing games' with women. Women are tired of games." Me: "Men are too." Woman: "True. True."
Me: "Any chapter capture your interest the most?" Woman: "I liked your chapter on Mode Four. The misogynists. I know many men who start out 'nice' with you, only to later become bitter and resentful towards you. I know many men who are passive-aggressive like that." Me: "Yep." Woman: "Also, I loved the chapter on 'Wholesome Pretenders' and 'Erotic Hypocrites'. Very entertaining chapter to say the least." Me: "Elaborate." Woman: "I would say that probably 9 out of ever ten women you meet are either Wholesome Pretenders or Erotic Hypocrites." Me: "Wow. That's higher than my percentage I usually say. I usually say that at least 50-60% of women in society are either WPs or EHs." Woman: "No. No way. I say closer to 90%. All women are socialized to 'pretend' as though we're not interested in sex. Particularly, casual sex. Women want sex just as much as men do. I would even say that most women are just as interested in casual sex as men are. It's all about how the man approaches you that makes the difference." Me: "Elaborate...." Woman: "I don't want a man to be on either extreme. I wouldn't want a man to just walk up to me, and say, 'Can I put my dick in your mouth?' That would be a total turn-off. But at the same time, I don't want him to pretend as though the idea of me giving him a blowjob is not anywhere in his mind either. You get what I'm saying?" Me: "For the most part..." Woman: "Most women I know feel insulted if a guy tries to pretend like he doesn't want sex, when we all know that's exactly what he wants. I know pretty much every man who approaches me, and engages in what you refer to in your book as 'small talk' really just wants to fuck me. If that man tries to pretend that sex is nowhere in his mind, that's like insulting our intelligence." Me: "So you want him to be upfront and straightforward about his desire to fuck you..." Woman: "Yes. And no." Me: "Explain...." Woman: "Again ... if a guy just walked up to me and said, 'Can I come over to your place tonight and fuck you?', that would probably turn me off." Me: "Why..." Woman: "Because I want to know that he wants to fuck ME. Not just 'any' woman that will say 'yes' to him. No woman wants to feel like she's just 'another piece of pussy.' Even when a man only wants just casual sex with you, you want to feel unique and special. You get what I'm saying? I don't have to be a man's 'girlfriend' in order to feel special. But I want him to let me know he wants to fuck." Me: "I visit a message board from time-to-time, and some of the guys always ask me ... 'what is too bold? what is not bold enough? what is straightforward, without being disrespectful or inappropriate?' What would be your response to these guys questions?" Woman: "I would say, number one, never try to act like you don't want to fuck a woman. That is almost more insulting to us than being 'too sexual.' All women know you all (men) want to fuck us. That's a given. You might as well admit to it." Me: "I agree." Woman: "But when we sense that a man is just treating us like 'another piece of ass', that's a turnoff. Like I said, you can be only interested in having casual sex with a woman, and still make her feel wanted." Me: "That's what I'm asking ... how is that accomplished? How would I let you know that all I want to do is fuck you ... strictly casual sex ... without making you feel like 'just another piece of ass'??" Woman: "One thing I guess is patience." Me: "Patience huh ..." Woman: "Yeah. I don't like it when a guy acts like he wants to fuck me right then, right there when
he meets me. I almost like it when a guy comes across like he's too busy right now to fuck. Makes me feel like I have to 'wait' for it." Me: "So you want to made to feel like you have to 'wait' for the dick huh...." Woman (giggles): "Yeah. Sort of. I don't want a guy who seems desperate for sex. I associate impatience with a man being desperate." Me: "Interesting." Woman: "And like you say in your book, I don't like all the flattery either. I know a guy is just flattering me because he wants to fuck me. I can get flattery from any man. That doesn't make me feel special. All my platonic male friends flatter me. That's no big deal." Me: "You still haven't explained how a man could make you feel 'special' while still just wanting casual sex..." Woman: "You know ... by letting you know he really wants to enjoy your company. If only for sex. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but it does to most women. Women love to be desired sexually. We love that. We don't want to be treated like cattle, or the human equivalent to a blow-up doll. It's hard to explain, but a guy needs to communicate to us that when he wants to be with us, he wants to be with us. A guy could be fucking Cindy or Mary, but I want to know that when that guy is with me, I'm the only woman on his mind." Me: "So, you don't have a problem with a man fucking other women ... as long as he gives you his full, undivided attention...." Woman: "Exactly. I don't want him to go over Cindy's place first ... and because she's not there, he decides to come over my place. That would make me feel cheap. I want to know that when he wants to fuck me, the only thing on his mind is fucking me." Me: "I get what you're saying." Woman: "And don't be wishy washy." Me: "What does that mean...." Woman: "I hate men that one week, they say they're only looking for casual sex ... and then three weeks later, they say they want a relationship. Then they go back and forth. I want a man to know what he wants from me. If a man just wants me to give him a blowjob every other Friday night ... and I don't have a problem with that arrangement .... then don't deviate from that. But don't confuse me. I want to know what my role is in your life." Me: "Interesting. Look. I gotta go. But hey .... I want to hook up with you two Fridays from now so that you can suck my dick...." Woman (laughs): "Okay. I set myself up for that one." Me: "And remember ... I'll only be thinking about you when you're sucking my dick. Not Cindy or Mary." Woman (laughs): "Cute." Me: "Unless of course, Mary or Cindy suck dick better than you. Then I might think about them a little bit while I'm sliding my dick in and out of your mouth." Woman: "I'm sure you have enough women taking care of your dick with their mouths. You don't need another one." Me: "There is always room for another one. (hands her my business card)" Woman: "Okay. I'm going to introduce you to some of my girlfriends. They heard me talking about your book, so they want to ask you tons of questions." Me: "I'll let them ask me questions while you suck my dick .... cool?" Woman (laughs): "You are too much for me. I'll talk to you soon...." Me: "Cool." Lesson learned? 1) Women don't like for guys to "pretend" like sex is the 'last thing on their mind.' As this woman said, that is an insult to their intelligence. Women know you want to fuck them. No point in trying to hide that from them.
2) Most women want you to be upfront & straightforward about your sexual desires & interests, but at the same time, they don't want to be treated like a 'two-bit whore.' They want to be treated like women who have unique thoughts, feelings, and a sense of self-respect for themselves. Like this woman said, even if they know you're fucking one or two other women ... they still want to feel 'special' ... or at least, respected. 3) At least two or three guys on this board asked me, "Alan ... why do you tell women things like, 'let's hook up in 2-3 weeks...'?? Why not just try to fuck them that night?" The comment this woman made about men being "impatient" is half of the reason why. She said she associated impatience with a sense of "desperation." That's one of the reasons why I never try to 'rush' a woman into hooking up with me sexually. Most of the same-day, one-night stands I've had ... it was the woman's idea ... not mine. Some women are down for fucking the same day/same night you meet them, but most are not. Hope this conversation with this woman yesterday sheds some light on some things for a few of you guys.... I don't believe in being "romantic" with a woman who doesn't necessarily 'deserve' to receive 'romantic' attention from me. Here's my thing: I'm in favor of any behavior towards women that accomplishes the following objectives... 1) Behavior that allows you to identify women who are genuinely interested in you without engaging in a high degree of 'small talk' and/or express an excessive amount of 'flattery'; 2) Behavior that allows you to identify attention whores, gold diggers, cock teasers, and other women who are just looking to mislead you, manipulate you, get you to spend money on them, or just generally waste your time; 3) Behavior that allows you to identify when a woman is 'pretending' to be "innocent," "wholesome," "prudish," and "monogamous-minded," when in reality, she is really kinky, semipromiscuous, and into casual sex; 4) Behavior that prevents you from feeling angry, frustrated, bitter, and/or misogynistic in the event that you are rejected, or fail to receive the reactions, responses, and results that you desired and/or expected; For me, Mode One Behavior is the only form of behavior I know that allows me to accomplish all four of the above objectives without wasting a lot of unnecessary time and/or money. But I agree with you ... You can be 'Mode One' in a non-verbal manner as well as in a verbal manner... I don't mislead or manipulate people period. I would never "take advantage" of a woman's interest in me sexually in order to 'close a deal.' If you would .... that is on you. That is not me. I can tell you with 100% confidence ... there are women who will admit to misleading and/or manipulating men on a daily basis. You're welcome to ignore it if you want to. Mode One behavior is about identifying and preventing women from manipulating you. So what
has been said that "goes against" that? If you're exhibiting behavior that allows women to easily mislead you, manipulate you, and/or just generally waste your time, then you're not exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Name ONE sentence, ONE paragraph, ONE page, or ONE chapter in my book where I "blame" women for men's problems, disappointments, and frustrations resulting from their interactions with women?? PLEASE point out the page number(s). Comecuca, this is what my whole book is about. To let men know that they need to take responsibility for their OWN actions and behavior. You said one thing above that I totally agree with: Women are only able to mislead men and manipulate men who allow them to. Mode One Behavior does not allow such behavior. If I meet "Linda" .... and I make it clear that I am interested in dating her or having casual sex with her ... and she never really reciprocates that interest, or definitely rejects that interest ... then she is playing games. You can argue that, deny that, or debate that if you want, but the truth is the truth. If a woman's only interest in a man is a strictly platonic one, then she should make that clear to that guy. Then, if a man chooses to continue to interact with her ... cool. That's on him. If he doesn't choose to continue to interact with that woman ... then so be it. No one should 'pretend' to have only a 'platonic' interest with someone when they know they want more. If you do that, you are clearly exhibiting Mode Three Behavior. NOWHERE IN MY BOOK DO I "BLAME" WOMEN FOR MEN EXHIBITING MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR. If you don't believe me, then find one sentence, one paragraph, one page, and/or one chapter that says differently. What I'm saying in my book is that the "Nice Guy" persona that guys like Ted Bundy exhibited was bullshit. No man on this earth is genuinely a "nice guy." That is A ROLE MEN PLAY IN ORDER TO ATTRACT WOMEN. Now I do point out various types of manipulative women in my book, but I never "blame" them for the behavior men exhibit. That's the whole point of my book. My main message to men is: Stop blaming women for your romantic and/or sexual frustrations, and take responsibility for your own behavior. I never try to "force" any man to exhibit Mode One Behavior. That's not my style. It's like me coming on here and telling all of the guys to go on a diet, when some of the guys on here have no desire to lose weight. I recommend Mode One Behavior to those men who find themselves constantly frustrated as a result of exhibiting various forms of Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior. I have female friends. Actually, a good number of them. But the difference is, all of my female friends know where I stand, and I know where they stand. I am not "anti-platonic friendships." What I am against is men pretending to be content with a platonic friendship when they know deep-down that they want more. That is being phony. And in the long-run, that will result in nothing but anger, frustration, and bitterness. Trust me on this. I've seen this happen literally hundreds of times. But what you don't realize is, even women love my book. If everything you said was true and valid, women would despise my book. I would say that no less than 75-80% of the women who've read
my book loved it. And one of the reasons why is because I don't "bash" women, or misrepresent their behavior unfairly. Even women themselves know that they're manipulative. I've had many women even say to me, "Alan ... I mislead and manipulate men all of the time ...." You need to quit worrying about the "hardships that women face," and concern yourself with two things: - How you want to behave towards women... and - How you're going to allow women to behave towards you. Anything and everything else is out of your control partner. Who are you now, "Captain-Save-AManipulative-Woman??" Let that female stock broker worry about her own behavior and challenges. You worry about yours. So ... are you suggesting that there are no women out there who mislead men, manipulate men, and/or toy with their feelings?!? Are you that naive and ignorant?? Dude, you better get a reality check fast. Dude, I know women who will readily ADMIT to fucking with guys' heads and feelings. They literally LAUGH at the shit. You're acting like women like this don't exist. Give me a fucking break. Do I "blame" women for men being rapists, serial killers, or other psychotic variations?? Not directly. At the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own behavior. But that does not in any way excuse the consequences and repercussions of exhibiting manipulative behavior. If I come up to your mother and sister, and slap the living shit out of them, are you going to just smile and say, "Nice Alan! Nice bitch slap!!"?? I would bet money that 99.9% chance you wouldn't. But the choice would be there for you not to react, wouldn't it? You wouldn't HAVE TO get angry or upset if I slapped the shit out of your mother, sister, and/or daughter, but there is a high likelihood that you would. The same goes for men when they are misled and manipulated by women. They don't "have to" get pissed off, but there is a 90-99.9% chance that they are. If a woman makes it crystal clear to a man that she has absolutely no interest in dating that man and/or having sex with that man, and he continues to pursue her attention and companionship, then that's on him. But if she's being misleading, vague, and ambiguous about her interests?? YOU'RE GOTDAMN RIGHT I'M GOING TO ASSESS SOME OF THE BLAME HER WAY. Can [single] men and [single] women be friends? Yes. Very much so. But only when they know exactly where each other stands. Personally? I cannot maintain a 'platonic' friendship with a woman who I have very strong romantic and/or sexual feelings for. If you can, more power to you. But I would bet you $1,000 that the vast majority of men cannot. They might be able to maintain that "phony" friendship for a few weeks, a few months, even a few years. But I would almost guarantee you that at some point, that "friendship" is going to fail. Anytime you mention "Mode One," you're either directly or indirectly talking about my book. Let's
make that very, very clear. If you want to evaluate my behavior separate from the book I wrote, then just say, "Alan does this, Alan says this, Alan didn't do that, Alan didn't say that." But once you use terms like "Mode One," "Mode One Behavior," and anything related to the content, you're making a comment about my book, whether you realize it or not. You don't know anything about manipulative women. You might know a thing or two about some non-manipulative women, but you don't impress me as knowing anything about how highly skilled manipulators work. I guarantee you ... once you've truly been misled and thoroughly manipulated by a woman, you'll see their behavior totally differently. This portion of the conversation is self-explanatory. Most, if not all women, don't like to be perceived as 'promiscuous whores.' But the fact of the matter is, some women are more promiscuous than others. Even women who are highly promiscuous don't like to "advertise" that fact, unless they're a prostitute or Call Girl. If a woman is not interested in dating a man, or having [casual] sex with him, then she should make that crystal clear. Anything else is misleading and manipulative. I even know dozens of women (non-manipulative types) that wholeheartedly agree with me on that. That last question by her [What is so wrong with getting a guy to be friends with me by not closing the door on the idea of him having sex with me?] lets me know that she has previously enjoyed the benefits of manipulating men. That's the #1 reason why most women who are highly skilled manipulators don't want men to be sexually straightforward with them. That's not just my "own opinion" either Comecuca. I've had a number of women even acknowledge that. Manipulative women don't like to be put in a situation where they have to either straightforwardly reciprocate your [sexual] interests, or straightforwardly reject your [sexual] interests. And that's why I said you defending this characteristic makes me think you're a woman, or had a woman assist you in writing that post. Because women ... manipulative women specifically ... are the only ones I know who defend the idea of being misleading, vague, or ambiguous. I never said that if a man is a rapist, it is all women's fault. Again, at the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own behavior. There is no debating or denying that. But to be objective, there are certain aspects of men's behavior that motivates women's behavior. There are certain aspects of women's behavior that motivates men's behavior. For example, one of the reasons why you have women who behave like "Wholesome Pretenders" is because many men are judgmental when it comes to women's sexual behavior. As long as you have men dividing women into "good girls" and "sluts", or a close variation of those two categories, you're going to have Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites. Same with gold diggers. As long as you have men who try to attract & impress women with their wealth, career success, and/or material possessions, you're going to have gold diggers. Am I "blaming" manipulative men for women being gold diggers?? Not directly. Just like I'm not directly "blaming" manipulative women for men being date rapists and/or serial killers of women. But the fact of the matter is, certain aspects of men's manipulative behavior does "influence" women to be gold diggers, just like certain aspects of women's manipulative behavior does "influence" men to become date rapists. It is never a healthy situation when a man has a strong romantic and/or sexual interest in a woman,
but that woman is not making it clear that she only wants a relationship that is strictly platonic. That is misleading and manipulative, and I will never, ever back down from that stance. If a woman says, "Brian ... I have no romantic and/or sexual interest in you ... but I would love to have you in my life as a platonic friend. If that works for you, let's go for it. If it doesn't, we can go our separate ways....," then I have no problem with that. That is fair, upfront, and straightforward. Anything else is manipulative. When you're Mode One with women, you don't attract manipulative women. Manipulative women can't hang with Mode One Behavior. They'll either a) leave you alone quickly, or b ) immediately convert their own behavior to a very non-manipulative form of behavior towards you. When you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three, you're going to always attract manipulative women. Always. So yes ... your comment that "What you put out there is what you attract" was a valid one. There are some women who are interested in you that will not hesitate to let you know that.... ... while there are other women who may have a romantic and/or sexual interest in you that will try to deny it, hide that from you, or "pretend" as though they're not interested. There are some women who are not interested in you that will not hesitate to let you know that.... ... while there are other women who will "pretend" to be interested in you for the sole purpose of misleading you, taking advantage of you, and manipulating you to the best of their ability. This is 90% of the reason why I wrote Mode One. I only concentrate on two things: How I want to behave towards women, and how I'm going to allow them to behave towards me. Anything else is secondary, if not totally irrelevant. In my mind, a woman (or a man) shouldn't concern themselves with highly subjective "labels" and criticisms. You need to re-read pages 115-117 in my Mode One Book. Being upfront & straightforward doesn't necessarily mean be "mean" or "harsh" in your rejection. Upfront & straightforward, but not "harsh" or "mean": "Ralph ... I think you're a really handsome and charming young man, but if I had to be honest with you, I don't feel any romantic or sexual chemistry with you. I would welcome the idea of maintaining a platonic friendship with you, if that is something you would view as mutually beneficial for both of us..." Upfront & straightforward in a "mean" way: "Ralph ... you are just not my type. You're too short and too skinny. I like tall, muscular men. And you're not making six figures. I only date men who make $100,000 per year or more. You need to pursue another woman who is more 'in your league'....." Vague, Ambiguous, Misleading, and Manipulative:
"Wow. So you want to date me Ralph? As in, a relationship? Wow. I'm flattered!! Hey, I'll tell you this. Why don't you take me out about four or five more times ... and we'll just 'play it by ear' and see how things go. I can't guarantee that we will end up being 'boyfriend & girlfriend', but I really do think you're handsome, charming, and sexy!! (Ralph tries to kiss her, but she rebuffs him) Oh ... no, no, no! (giggles) You're moving way too fast!!! Maybe I'll kiss you after our next dinner date. Maybe! I'll wear something sexy next time too....." You see ... in the last example, this woman is not acknowledging an interest ... nor is she acknowledging a lack of interest. She's operating in what I refer to as the "Ambiguous Zone," a common 'sign' of a manipulative woman. I can't speak for other guys, but I know a manipulative woman when I meet them. It usually doesn't take me more than 5 or 10 minutes to identify an "attention whore," a "gold digger," a "cock teaser," or other forms of manipulative behavior. "When a guy is in set??" That's Seduction Community talk dude. I don't use such terms. I use "conversing with a woman." Simple shit. Once you've dealt with enough manipulative types, you know their "M.O." Trust me on this. I don't use "Inner Game" anywhere in my book. With all due respect Comecuca, you're talking like a man who is afraid of rejection. You see, I don't care if a woman rejects me. I've said this a dozen times: Rejection, in my opinion, is always a "win-win" scenario. I believe in understanding women's motivations, desires, and fears to an extent. I believe in concentrating most on those factors in relationships that you have the most control over. And that is how you behave towards women and how you allow them to behave towards you. You have no control over how any woman is going to be thinking and/or behaving at any given moment in time. When you put too much emphasis on what a woman is going to do or not going to do, or going to say or not going to say, you eventually become a reactive person instead of a proactive person. And that is not a good thing. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, you generally attract women who are manipulative to one degree or another. When you are Mode One with women, you generally attract women who are upfront, straightforwardly honest, and non-manipulative about expressing their interests to you ... or their lack of interest in you. There is a difference between identifying a woman with manipulative, duplicitous, and/or hypocritical tendencies ... and "worrying" about it. Worrying comes from concentrating on factors that are ultimately out of your control. For example, "worrying" about whether or not it's going to rain. The weather is out of your control. But ... preparing for 'bad' weather is not out of your control. You can carry an umbrella anywhere. I'm the guy who has an umbrella handy when the weatherman predicts rain. You're the man who says, "Why worry about the weather?? Why be obsessed with the weather??," but then gets your clothes soaked in rain.
I don't have time (or money) to waste interacting with women who don't have any romantic and/or sexual interest in me, if my interest is to date them or fuck them. And the reason why I've sold a lot of books is because a lot of men feel the exact same way. You can call not wasting time and/or money "childish" if you want, but I call it intelligent. No, you don't sit and "cry" about it (re: your "boo hoo" comment). You accept the rejection and move on. That's what intelligent, mature men do who have no desire to cry over spilled milk. Dude, you can do whatever the fuck you want to do in this world. You can pick up a gun, and go shoot somebody right now if you really, really want to. You can go steal some food from the grocery store right now if you really, really want to. You can choose to spend 2, 3, 4, 5+ hours interacting with women who just told you that they have no interest in dating you or having sex with you if that's what you really, really want to do. No one on here is telling you that you can't. I'm on this message board because most men don't want to waste time with women who are not interested in them romantically and/or sexually. Any man can accumulate platonic female friends. That is no challenge to any man on this message board. I'm here to help the men who want to be helped. You've let me know with your various comments and criticisms that you have no desire to be helped by me, and that's fine with me. Do what you gotta do. Not all men are cut out to exhibit Mode One Behavior. I say that all of the time. Your focus is specifically on "getting the pussy." I don't concentrate on that. I tell guys that all of the time. If your only focus is on getting some pussy, then you might as well read Mystery's stuff, Ross Jeffries stuff, and whoever else. My book goes beyond simply "getting some pussy." Most guys on here get that. It's more-thanobvious that you don't. I actually read some of Ross Jeffries' materials as far back as 1996, 1997. Didn't like it. Way too corny and manipulative. If you were to listen to one of my Internet radio podcasts with Steve "The Dean" Williams, I talked about Jeffries products at least once. Same with Mystery. I sat in Barnes & Noble bookstore and read his "Mystery Method" book. The one he just came out with this year. I actually read it for the very thing you accused me of: Commenting on people's books without reading them first. I criticized his subtitle on Amazon ("Get ANY woman you want into bed"), and this guy challenged me to read it first before criticizing it. So, I did. And I didn't like it. If other guys like his suggestions ... hey, more power to them. But it was way too manipulative for me. Why are you worried about my sex life?? I have a steady sex partner who I am very satisfied with. Matter of fact, sometimes she sits on the couch while I write some of these posts. One thing you need to realize though is that my book is not specifically a "seduction" book. I say this all of the time. If you're only objective is improving your sex life, then "Mode One" is not the book for you. Even I will admit: There are probably a half-a-dozen books out there that will help you score a one-
night stand and/or weekend fling quicker than Mode One. "Getting Laid" is not the #1 objective of Mode One, and I clearly say that in my book. For me, getting pussy is the "frosting on the cake" with Mode One rather than the 'cake' itself. Mode One, more than anything else, is about enjoying the freedom of acting the way you truly want to act towards women without giving any concern for being 'rejected' and/or harshly criticized. I don't mind spending an evening defending my book. Not at all. For every Comecuca, there are at least 5-6 guys on here that truly benefit from much of what I say. That's the only reason I come here. Because I have a genuine interest in helping guys out. Money-wise, I don't really need to be here. This site only accounts for maybe 2-3% of my paperback sales, and maybe 10% of my EBook sales. So if I left, and never came back, it's not like my book sales would dramatically decrease. I come here because most of the guys here are cool. The "haters" are in the minority. Like I said, this is literally the first time I've ever had a back-and-forth exchange like this with someone who claims to have read my book, and that says something. The only type of exchanges I've had previously like this were on AskMen.com and SeductionInsider.com But most of the people on both of those forums who debated me on Mode One were usually a) women and/or b ) men who hadn't yet read my book. This is how I define being misleading and/or manipulative: 1) Anytime you are interacting with a member of the opposite sex, and you are "pretending" to have one set of desires, interests, and intentions ... when in actuality, you have a totally different set of desires, interests, and intentions ... you are being misleading in your behavior. Examples: Having an interest in dating a woman, but "pretending" as though you're only interested in a 'platonic' friendship; Having an interest in having a one-night stand, weekend fling, or some other form of 'casual' (i.e., non-monogamous) sex, but "pretending" to be interested in having a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship. I've seen men exhibit misleading behavior all of the time towards women. And in the long-run, they pay for it. Women are misleading as well. I know dozens of women who will "pretend" to act as though they're interested in dating a man, or having sex with a man, when in actuality, they have no intention in doing either one. 2) Anytime you're offering a member of the opposite sex some form of "incentive" and/or "reward" for exhibiting behavior that is more beneficial to your needs and desires, than it is for the person you're interacting with ... you are being manipulative in your behavior. Examples: "Wining & Dining" a woman in order to motivate her to share your company in a romantic and/or sexual manner; Excessively flattering a woman in order to motivate a more 'positive' and/or reciprocal response from her; A woman giving you the impression that she's going to allow you to fuck her if you exhibit behavior that is to her liking and satisfaction; A woman dating you, or even marrying you, if you promise to take care of her financially (Erotic Hypocrite) This is where Comecuca and I most disagree. He almost 'dismisses' women who exhibit misleading and/or manipulative behavior as if they don't even exist. Same with "I am back!" You two act like all women are full of genuine, sincere, honest intentions. And the reality is, they're not.
I've seen it first hand. Anytime you've been the "other guy" (i.e., the guy who women cheat with instead of cheating on), you see women for how manipulative, duplicitous, and hypocritical they really are. Me and my podcast partner, Steve "The Dean" Williams swap stories all of the time about this. I can name times when I have had women sucking my dick, and they would pause for three to five minutes to call their boyfriend, and tell him that she was at the mall with her girlfriends. I can name times when women I was fucking would go out with "nice guy" types, and have them spend money on them, only to have those guys drop them off ... without even giving them a kiss ... and come back and give me a doggie bag of food that they paid for. I've had women let me drive their boyfriend's cars while they were out-of-town. In my adult years dealing with women, I've seen it all. If you live in a city like Los Angeles especially, you will really see it all. I used to work with women that were master manipulators. I mean, top of the line manipulators. You would think these women were truly in love with you if you were Mode Two and/or Mode Three with them. So, that's where I disagree with Comecuca and I am back! the most. Comecuca almost "defends" women being misleading, vague, ambiguous, and manipulative. I will never do that. Too many attention whores, gold diggers, and cock teasers out there. You have to be Mode One in order to even identify these types. I am back! thinks almost suggest that if you just "put your mind to it," that you will never run into these types of women. Let me make this as clear as I can: Anytime you exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, you are going to attract women who exhibit misleading and manipulative behavior. That is not a casual opinion, that is a fact. This quiz is for two types of guys: 1) Those who read my book, and feel like they have the Mode One Principles "down pat".... -or2) Those who really don't care for Mode One Behavior, and endorse "methods" and "techniques" that they feel are "more effective" than Mode One .... The "Mode One Quiz" for the men: Let's say you were in a hotel with five different women in five different hotel rooms who you were attracted to equally. All of the women in each room had some type of interest in you, but each one had an interest that was totally different than the other. - One woman in one room was only interested in having a one-night stand or a "weekend fling" with you. Nothing more, nothing less; - One woman in another room was interested in having an indefinite relationship with you that she would highly prefer to be monogamous, but she would be willing to settle for a long-term non-monogamous relationship;
- One woman in another room was only interested in an exclusively committed, long-term, emotionally profound monogamous relationship with absolutely no pre-marital sex; - One woman in another room was not interested in you romantically or sexually, but was totally interested in maintaining a long-term 'platonic' friendship with you, and engaging in many lengthy, entertaining conversations with you in the near and distant future; - One woman was not interested in you romantically or sexually, but because she loves the opportunity to take advantage of a free lunch, free dinner, or free movie, she wants to see how long she can 'trick you' into believing that she's interested in you in order to see how many times you will "wine & dine" her before finding out that she really has no interest in dating you or sleeping with you whatsoever. You have only an hour to talk to all five women (roughly 11-12 minutes per woman on average) to hopefully identify what woman falls into what category. If you identify all of them correctly within the designated time parameters, you will get to travel to any city in the world with up to two of the women, and be given $15,000 in spending money. If you identify three of the five women correctly, you get to go out with one or more of the women who are interested in you, but you have to pay for the date (if money is to be spent) If you only identify one or two of the women correctly, or worse, none of the women correctly, you won't get to hook up with any of the women. What type of approach would you employ towards each woman in order to effectively identify what woman falls into what category?? What specific comments would you make and/or what specific questions would you ask of each woman to help you correctly identify what woman falls into what category?? You see, in this "hypothetical hotel room experiment," each woman only knows what her motivations are. She neither knows about, or even cares about, the interests of the other women (which in reality, is how most women are). So, I wouldn't bother telling each woman about the other women involved. And if you ask the more manipulative women if they are who you think they are, 90% chance, they're going to deny it. For example, if you were in the room with the women who just wanted to be 'wined & dined,' and you asked her that, 90% chance, she's going to say something like, "No ... I really like you! I want to enjoy your company!!" No woman is really going to 'advertise' that she's just looking for a few free dinners. Again, you were more on track with your first response. I don't know how many men were planning on responding to this, but I'll quickly give you some of
my thoughts: 1) I would first identify which of those women's interest was most in line with my own interests. This is the first thing I would do even before I think about conversing with each woman in their respective hotel room. Let's say, my interest is most in line with the woman who "prefers a monogamous relationship, but would be willing to settle for a long-term non-monogamous relationship." Then I would approach all five women as if they were this woman. 2) As soon as I'm in the room with each woman, I would almost immediately let my interests be known. I would let it be known, in one way or another, that I'm looking for long-term, nonmonogamous sexual companionship. I might throw in there that I don't have a problem with shortterm monogamous relationships, or that I don't object to monogamous relationships, but right now, my #1 preference would be for an indefinite, long-term non-monogamous relationship. 3) As you alluded to, direct eye contact while conversing with a woman is very important. Did you notice that my eyes are on the cover?? That was intentional. Also, I would be studying each woman's body language after I expressed my interests to them. You seemed to have the same mentality in your response. People ask me, "Why did 'Jack' in 'Talk Dirty To Me' continue to talk to that female doctor, even after she threatened to call the police on him? I would've bolted once she mentioned calling the police..." My response is he was studying her body language 4) Finally, I would pretty much be able to identify what women fell into what category within 5-10 minutes simply based on how they reacted to my interests, and the manner in which I expressed my interests. a) The woman who is not interested in pre-marital sex would more-than-likely be totally turned off by my interests, especially if she was religious. And quite honestly, I would want her to be 'turned off.' b ) The woman who who was only interested in a platonic friendship and entertaining conversations would either let me know her interests, or try to engage me in lengthy 'small talk'; I wouldn't allow her to do that. c) The woman who wants me to 'wine & dine' her is going to be the trickiest to figure out. And you pointed that out. Out of the five women I interact with, I would say that 99% chance, she's going to be the hardest to identify. Why? Because women like this know how to be 'verbal chameleons.' They can adapt their behavior to what you are saying. This woman might try to 'pretend' to be interested in a one-night stand. This woman might 'pretend' to be interested in long-term nonmonogamous sex. This woman will 'pretend' to have any interest in me that she thinks will motivate me to accomplish her objectives. The only thing that will expose this woman is really sexually provocative behavior. Either verbally and/or physically. If you are "nice," "pleasant," and "conservative" with this woman, you will get played. d) The woman who was interested in a one-night stand or weekend fling would be sucking my dick in the hotel room. I would cum on her face, and then move on to the woman who is on the same page as me, which is....
e) The woman that has the exact same interests as me. She might give me a bit of 'feigned' resistance, because ideally, she wants a monogamous relationship, but once I firmly make it known that I'm not going to engage in a monogamous relationship, she would cave in. Some women, I pretty much know for a 100% fact that I want to have casual sex with them .. unless they do something or say something to totally turn me off. With other women, similar to yourself, I might initially want to fuck them ... but then they reveal something about themselves that makes me change my interest in them. How I resolve that in my mind, and in my approach, is that I'm rarely in a 'rush' to actually fuck a woman. I was talking about this in another thread just recently. For example, I might meet a woman one week before Christmas and say, "It is my desire to fuck you....," but I might not actually make a move to fuck this woman until early-to-mid February. When it comes to expressing my interests, I'm always upfront and straightforward ... even if I might not be 100% sure. Here's my thinking, and some might disagree with this: I believe all men know what they want at the specific moment in time you're talking to a woman. You might find out things from that woman that have the potential to change your interests minutes later, hours later, days later, weeks later, or months later. You might not have the same interest in a woman in July that you do in March. You might not have the same interest in a woman during the last week of June that you had in the first week of June. You might not have the same interest in a woman on Thursday that you had last Friday. You might not have the same interest in a woman at 12 Midnight that you had at 10:30pm. You get what I'm saying? You always know what you want from that woman at that time. In other words, if I approach a woman at 10:00pm this Friday night, I know at that moment I want to fuck her. I know that. But.... What I might not know is, do I want to have a one-night stand? Do I want to have a weekend fling? Do I want to have nine-and-a-half weeks of casual sex fun? Do I want to have a monogamous relationship with her that I already know won't lead to marriage? Do I want to have a monogamous relationship that will potentially lead to marriage? That's why you talk to women, and generally get to know them. To find out if their interests are in line with your interests. That's not to be confused with "small talk." "Small talk" is when you're talking about bullshit. Talking about shit like "my dog urinated on my carpet the other day, and it was the most hilarious thing!!!" Uhm .. so what. Fuck your dog. Your dog won't be fucking this woman ... you will. Think about when you go looking for a car. Do you talk about the weather and the environment and the Democratic debate?? Hell no. If you do, then that is small talk. When you're shopping for a car,
you ask questions like, "What type of gas mileage does this car get?" "What are the yearly maintenance costs?" "How does his car handle accidents??" "What kind of stereo does this car come with??" Etc., etc, etc. Same with women. I make comments to women and/or ask questions of women to find out what type of woman they are. Most of the time, I don't have to talk to a woman for very long. I can find out most of the "basics" from a woman in usually 15-20 minutes of conversation. Sometimes, less. Some women ... it might take me an hour or more. But the bottom line is, I keep everything relevant to my desire to share that woman's company in a romantic and/or sexual manner. You don't have to express sexual interest in a woman "immediately." I don't always do that. But one reason I like to is to see how women are going to react to me talking to them in sexually provocative manner. Sometimes, you can tell a lot about a woman by how she responds to you expressing an interest in fucking her. Many times, just her response to that will make me say, "I'm not going to pursue this woman any further. Just because you tell a woman you want to fuck her at 8:00pm doesn't mean you have to fuck her by 8:30pm. Again, I'm never in a "rush" to actually fuck a woman. Going back to my "Quiz" example, this is how I can usually sort out different types of women.... 1) Attention Whores / Time Wasters: Women like this seek out flattery. They want to be entertained and flattered constantly. Quick solution? Don't do either one. Don't go out of your way to flatter them or entertain them too much, if at all. Attention Whores & Cock Teasers don't like physical interaction too much. When you get "touchy feely" with them, they generally don't like it. 2) Gold diggers: Quite simply, gold digger types want money to be spent on them. When women start talking about "What neighborhood do you live in...." or "what type of car do you drive...." or "Wow. Is that a Rolex watch your're wearing?" Then you know you're in the company of a golddigger. Gold-diggers aren't going to give up the pussy until you spend money on them. It's really that simple. 3) Religious Prudes: Self-explanatory. Enough said. 4) Psychotic Bitches / Drama Queens: Will try to provoke arguments with you for no reason. They argue about stupid shit, and criticize you for stupid shit. 5) Wholesome Pretenders & Erotic Hypocrites: They will initially "pretend" to be turned off by "kinky sex talk," but in reality, they love that shit. Just don't back down. Going back to the "shopping for a car" example/analogy, if you knew what you needed in a car ... how would you go about eliminating the cars that are not for you? It works the same way with women. Just like I said in my post evaluating Zarathustra's responses to my "quiz," you have to always approach a woman with the "assumption" that her interests are the same as yours. Like in my example, out of the five women with the five different interests, the first thing I did was decide which one of those women's interests were in line with my own interests. Then I approached every woman with the assumption that she was this woman. Where some of you guys are different from me, is in that you are looking for ways to "get decisionmaking info" from women before letting a woman know what your interests are. I do just the
opposite. What it seems like some of you all want to do is.... 1) Approach a woman .... 2) Converse with her for a while to see if she's 'quality', and someone you would potentially want to spend time with in a romantic and/or sexual manner .... 3) Then, if she 'passes all of your tests' (i.e., gives you the right responses to your comments and/or the right answers to your questions), you decide to go ahead and let the woman know, "hey ... I'm interested in you!" That is Mode Two Behavior. The main problem with that form of behavior is that you can be conversing with a woman for 20 minutes, 40 minutes, 60 minutes or longer, only to find out that she's married, already seeing someone, or simply not interested in you. Mode One Behavior more so follows this line of thinking ... 1) Approach a woman .... 2) Let her know what your interests are (i.e., romantic? casual sex? platonic now, maybe romantic or sex later? etc) in the most highly self-assured, upfront, straight-to-the-point manner ... 3) Study her reactions & responses to your expression of interest; Formulate questions and/or comments based on her reactions & responses ... 4) If she generally gives you the vibe that her interests are far different than yours, end the conversation and leave her alone. If you can sense that some degree of interest is there, continue the conversation. 5) Set up a day/date in the near future to hook up again, and converse some more. That is my general "Mode One" Approach. The main difference between a Mode One approach and a Mode Two approach is 1) You eliminate most, if not all of the 'trivial small talk'; "Small talk" is a waste of time. 2) You lay your cards on the table (i.e., express your interests to a woman) first. Then you proceed with the conversation. With Mode Two, you talk to a woman ... find out things ... and then express your interests. With Mode Three, you never really express your interests at all. Again, the main problem with "waiting" before expressing your interests is that women love to talk. Even a woman who is just flat-out not interested in you will engage you in entertaining, enjoyable "chit chat." I've seen this happen numerous times. Using the "shopping for a car" analogy again, when I walk into a dealership, I want to say to the salesman as soon as I walk in, "Hey ... I'm looking for a car under $20,000 that gives me great mileage with room for two kids and a dog." Right there, I've probably eliminated half of the cars he would have potentially showed me. If you just walk into a dealership and say, "Uhm ... I'm kinda sorta looking for a car ....," then that guy or gal is going to show you damn near every car in their fleet. If you have time to waste, then there is not really that much of a detriment to that.
But remember what I say in my book: Mode One Behavior is specifically for men who do not like to waste time and/or money pursuing women who are not genuinely interested in them. This is what I think Comecuca, and a few of the others on here, don't get. A lot of things he says, and recommends, is more so for guys who feel like wasting time is not that big of a deal. If you're a guy who doesn't put that much of a premium on time invested and/or money invested, then by all means, be Mode Two with women. But I'm the type of guy, generally speaking, that is into time efficiency. I'm the type of guy that does not like to waste hours, days, or weeks interacting with a woman ... only to find out that our interests are totally different. That doesn't work for me. Re-read page 26 of my book (the matrix). Look at the "Big Issue" for Mode One. Again, I never 'rush' into sex with a woman. Don't ever misperceive Mode One as being about "rushing" into bed with a woman. There is a big difference between being upfront and straightforward about your romantic and/or sexual interests, and being over eager and impatient to get a woman into bed. Those are two totally different concepts. Again, using the "shopping for a car" analogy, there is a difference between saying, "Hey ... I need a car TODAY!!" versus saying, "I know exactly what kind of car I want to purchase ... but I won't be purchasing the car until 3 or 4 weeks from now." The bottom line is, when you approach women ... you have to know what you want from them. Otherwise, you will potentially just be spinning your wheels. Before you even approach "Linda," "Michelle," or "Tanya," you have to know what you want. Once you know what you want, you might find that Linda doesn't have to offer what you're looking for. Same with Michelle or Tanya. But you have to have at least a general idea of what you want. There is a difference between "taking things slow" and being "indecisive" and/or "wishy-washy" in regards to your desires, interests, and intentions. I'm in favor many times of the former, but I am not in favor at all of the latter. If you're "chit chatting" with a woman, that's Mode Two. I put "chit chat" in the same category as "small talk." There is a difference between qualifying conversation and small talk. "Qualifying conversation" is when you're asking questions and/or expressing comments that allows you to find out if this woman has the same general interests as you. "Small talk" is conversation that is geared towards flattering a woman, impressing a woman, making a woman feel 'comfortable' in your presence, and simply passing the time in an entertaining manner. I agree with the "being patient" portion of your comments, but the one point of contention for me would be the idea of "making a woman feel comfortable." As crazy or harsh as it might sound, I don't care about making a woman feel 'comfortable' in my presence. I really don't. I've actually had sex with women who admitted to me that much of my conversation with them made them feel "uncomfortable" and/or "intimidated" to a degree. Sometimes, believe it or not, I want a woman to feel a bit "uncomfortable" in my presence. Only you know what women are worth it for you to pursue. That's not my call. Some guys are only willing to pursue highly attractive women while other guys will leave themselves open to pursue average looking women. Some guys are only willing to pursue college educated women while other guys will leave themselves open to date women without a college degree.
The two biggest things I tell guys to evaluate prior to conversing with women and pursuing them is this: 1) How much time are you willing to invest in pursuing your women of choice? 2) How much money are you willing to invest in pursuing your women of choice? Answering these two questions with every woman you're interested in tends to dictate what behavior you're willing to exhibit towards women. Let me make this clear: Mode Two Behavior is not necessarily "ineffective." I say that in my book. Mode One is not for everybody. Some guys are actually more suited for Mode Two. Like I said recently, if you don't mind investing a lot of time and/or money pursuing women, you don't really need to be Mode One. If you were say, a millionaire ... or at least, earning a six-figure salary ... and you didn't mind taking a woman on out on four or five dates and spending an average of $100 - $200 or more per date with the risk that she might not give you the pussy ... then there is nothing wrong with being Mode Two with women. I don't worry about women's behavior. I act the way I want to act, and still get the pussy more often than not. I don't really care about women's behavior. I have no control over their behavior. I only concentrate on expressing my interests in an ultra-confident and straightforward manner, and after that, whatever happens ... happens. You're too "results-oriented." That seems to be your problem. You're overly concerned, and overly analytical, about how women will potentially respond to you. In other words, you seem like the type that if you were Mode One with three women .... and none of the three women gave you the pussy ... you would consider those interactions a "failure." I'm not "pussy focused." Either you understand the principles behind Mode One Behavior, or you don't. Either you philosophically agree with the principles of Mode One Behavior, or you don't. It's really that simple. If that makes me "Scientology" like, then so be it. A lot of people read the Bible, and don't agree with every single aspect of it. Do you think that means that God is going to say, "Oh well ... I better have some prophets write it over again and change some things ..." Uhm ... no. Not gonna happen. It's one thing if someone on here is asking me a question because they genuinely don't understand something, and they need an illustration or two to 'clear things up' for them. I don't mind that at all. But what Comecuca is doing, and to a lesser extent, yourself, is basically trying to challenge the validity and/or effectiveness of Mode One Behavior as an attraction and/or seduction method. Comecuca is essentially saying the same thing over and over and over again in different ways. Same with his questions. Some of his questions are new and different, but there are other questions of his that are repetitive and tiresome. I don't like repeating myself.
There are only two types of women you can seduce: Those who are attracted to you, and willing to let you know that they are .... and women who are attracted to, but are trying to "pretend" as though they're not. jb007a's answer was a correct one. With women from the latter group (the "token resistance" women like the female doctor in "Talk Dirty To Me"), you just keep being confident, straightforward, and persistent up to the point where it fails to be worth your time and/or money to continue to pursue. You can't let your desire for pussy to override your ethics, integrity, principles, and sense of selfrespect. For example, if I want to fuck a woman ... and I sense that a woman wants to fuck me ... but she likes to snort cocaine, and I don't touch illegal drugs ... then that is the point where I say, "Thanks, but no thanks." Or if she says, "Okay ... I'll let you fuck me if you pay my car note this month." Uhm ... no. Not happenin'. I will never compromise myself for the pussy. It's not that important. As long as my desire to fuck a woman can be accomplished and satisfied within the context of who I am, and what I'm about, I'm cool. Comecuca ... I think you were wrong in your accusation. You have said that I am supposedly "obsessed" with the manipulative tendencies of women, but it more so seems like you are the one who keeps brining up the whole idea of being fearful of women being manipulative. The solution is simple: When you are truly and consistently Mode One, you don't have to worry about manipulative women. Clarification: I didn't necessarily say that the idea of compromising with someone is totally a "bad" thing. It's not. But it is somewhat of a 'risk' or 'gamble' if things start going wrong. If I love chicken wings, I would rather be with a woman who ALSO loves chicken wings than to be a with a woman where I have to sacrifice eating chicken wings 35 - 50% of the time in order to eat pork chops with her. Compromising is cool if ... and ONLY IF ... you know deep-down that you're 100% down for it. Me personally? I'm not. All radio and television interviews are usually 'biased' to some degree or another. That's why shows like NBC's "Meet The Press" usually invite Republicans and Democrats on at the same time. To diminish the bias, to his credit, The Dean will usually invite a person on his show from a camp that is being criticized and/or commented on. For example, one time, he had a show criticizing Ross Jeffries products ... and later, he actually had Ross Jeffries himself on the show. I'm not familiar with all of Mystery's products, but I did read his last, most recent hardcover book. The one that is currently in book stores. I've already said on here: I don't like it. But that's just me. On the positive end, some of the methods and techniques probably could be effective at some point, but my criticism is, most of his methods and techniques are too deceitful and/or manipulative for my tastes. The reality is, most of his seminars have not received good feedback. I've had at least three to five
guys who purchased my "Mode One" book that told me that they regret spending $1000 - $2500 for one or more of his Thu - Sun Seminars. It starts with what you want from someone. Let's say a man wants non-monogamous sexual companionship from a woman. If you approach that woman, and tell her what you want in upfront, honest, straight-to-the-point (direct) manner, that would be representative of non-manipulative behavior on behalf of the man. That woman is either going to reciprocate your interests ... or she's not. Simple. Now, let's say you approach that same woman ... but instead of just immediately letting your desires, interests, and intentions be known to her ... you first decide to flatter her, engage in entertaining and lengthy 'small talk', offer to 'wine & dine' her, and/or give her a somewhat 'misleading' impression about what your true interests are ... then that means you're being (to one degree or another) "manipulative". Most of the "indirect" methods and techniques that I've read up on typically involve manipulative 'head games' or "psychological tricks & gimmicks." I don't like those. The problem is not so much that they're simply "ineffective." I'll admit ... some of them do work, if you're specific objective is to score a one-night stand or weekend fling. The problem comes in when you run across a woman who is "highly skilled" at manipulation herself. I've always said: If you took the Top 1% - 5% of manipulative women and matched them up with the Top 1% - 5% of manipulative men in the world ... I would bet you money that 90-99.9% chance, the manipulative women would get the best of the manipulative men. Most of the "indirect" gurus message is: "If you want to get manipulative women into bed, you have to be even more slick and more manipulative than they are!!" My message, and most guys who are of the direct school of thought is, "If you want to get women into bed, just tell them what you want to do so." I'm direct / Mode One for life. For me, it's not so much what they said that I would totally criticize, but rather the environment they said what they said, and the surrounding circumstances. For example, there is a difference between having a woman in your living room, and saying, "I want to suck your tits....." versus saying that to a woman in the middle of a funeral proceeding, or saying that to your female co-worker with the risk of a sexual harassment charge. Also, why use beer and/or alcohol as a "buffer"? What your buddies were doing was using "I-Want-To-Say-Something-To-Shock-You" techniques. Did they first find out if these women were single and/or available? Did they find out if the women were heterosexual, bi-sexual, or lesbians? Did they find out if the women had some degree of interest in sharing their company one-on-one in the near future? You have to qualify a woman before saying ultra-bold shit like they did.
Now, in slight fairness to them, I've said really bold shit to women here and there, but it was typically when that woman was in my company in a one-on-one, private manner. Not at a public venue such as a nightclub. I've always said on various message boards: nightclubs and bar/pubs/restaurants are some of the worst places to exhibit Mode One Behavior with women. Most women who go to these places are attention whores looking for egotistically flattering attention. They're not genuinely looking to hook up with men for sex. I actually don't agree with them being kicked out of the club though. Is that a rule that you can't speak to women in a sexually provocative manner?? That's actually bullshit that they were thrown out, unless of course, they were repeatedly "harassing" the women. I always want men to read "Mode One" ... but objectively speaking, I generally always tell men to read as many books/Ebooks as possible. You might read something in my book that's not in anyone else's book, and vice versa. As long as it's promoting the "direct" school of thought towards approaching women, I'm generally in favor of it. But I'm not too keen on promoting any sort of "indirect" methods on here. Like ChrisIsHere said and others, using "indirect" is like putting a band-aid on a broken bone. I love beauty. But I don't know if I agree with having compassion for "all women." I don't have compassion for women who mislead and/or manipulate men. Why do many men end up in the dreaded "friend zone" with women? Because they have not gotten a woman to a point where she entertains the thought and/or visualization of exchanging orgasms with that guy. ... women have a hard time remaining "just friends" with a guy after they've had sex with him. At least, in my experience. I don't consider it a "must" to [immediately] touch every woman I approach. I know for a 100% fact that I have gotten women sexually aroused without touching them at all [immediately]. But direct eye contact is a must. A close second is the quality & tone of your voice. Your voice should always be "calm" and "relaxed" when conversing with women. Your voice should never sound "eager" and/or "nervous." I've always said: Many times, "trying to be funny" with women hurts you more than it helps you. There was a thread a while back where I talked about how I actually blew an opportunity for a threesome one time in Los Angeles because I was trying to be "Mr. Comedian" with the women. I generally say, it's okay to be 'casually witty,' but you can't over-do it with the humor stuff. Women start wanting to be "entertained" instead of fucked. I do not believe ... or agree ... with the notion that you can separate "confidence" from "courage." Those two concepts go hand-in-hand with one another. My definitions: Courage: When you're deeply afraid to do something, but you do it anyway. Example: You see a
beautiful woman you're afraid to approach for fear of rejection, but you approach her anyway. Confidence: An attitude and demeanor you possess and maintain that lets others know that you rarely, if ever, avoid talking action towards pursuing your desired goals and objectives. You pursue all of your goals and objectives with the firm belief that things are going to work out in your favor. As someone said already, I believe you have to have a certain degree of confidence in order to have courage. You can say that confidence is sort of a "prerequisite" for exhibiting courage. Plain and simply, because of your ability ... or inability ... to handle the [potential] repercussions and/or consequences IF things DON'T work out in your favor. Example(s): You're thought of as the star of your basketball team, but in reality, your best games have been when your team had a 15 point lead or greater within the last 2-3 minutes of the game; Now, you're in a situation where your team is down by two (2) points with less than ten seconds to go; You have a wide open 3-point shot. You could drive down the lane for the tie, but your opponents have clogged the lane with defenders. Question: Do you have the courage to take the shot, and either be the HERO .... or the GOAT?? Where the idea or concept of "confidence" comes into play: Right before you take that shot, are you focused on the "rewards of success" or the "penalties of failure" (see James Allen's "As A Man Thinketh, So Is He")?? If it's the former, you're going to shoot that ball from behind the 3-point line like you always do ... if its the latter, you're going to 'panic' inside, and nine times out of ten, you're not going to shoot that ball with the correct form that you usually do. Bottom line: Courage - You took the shot, even though you were afraid of missing it. Confidence - Not only did you take the shot, but you took the shot with the attitude and belief that you were going to hit it. Furthermore, if you do happen to miss the shot, you don't let it get you down for future games. You know if you're in that situation again, you will not hesitate to shoot the ball again. Lack of confidence - Yes, you had the COURAGE to take the shot ... but now, because you missed it, and your team lost the game, the end result is that you now have no motivation to allow yourself to be put in that situation again. The next time, you're going to pass the ball to one of your teammates, because you don't want the pressure of missing the shot on your shoulders. More dating-related .... You just read "How To Seduce Twelve Women in 12 Weeks Regardless of Your Looks or Level of Wealth" (or some similar title). You've attracted a few women in your life here and there ... and had sex with at least 3 or 4 women .... but it's always been over a period of years, not weeks. Now you're at a social event, and 80-90% of the single women there are 8s, 9s, and DIMES. The
most attractive woman you've been with to this point is a "6" ... maybe a "7." Question: Do you have the courage to approach at least 2 or 3 of these women at this social event, even though some of the guys around you have a better looking physique than you, a better job than you, and/or make more money than you?? Where the idea or concept of "confidence" comes into play: Right before you approach one or more of these women, you're either focused on one of two things: The fear of being rejected ... or the excitement of sharing the company of at least one of these women in a romantic and/or sexual manner. If it's the former, you're going to approach these women with a very hesitant tone, a very cautious tone, and an underlying attitude of "I hope you like me"; If its the latter, you're going to approach these women as if you have no doubt that at least one of these women is going to enthusiastically reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Bottom line: Courage - You approach, at minimum, one of these very attractive and sexy women ... even if you feel like there is a greater than 50% chance that you're going to be immediately rejected. Confidence - The first woman you approached rejected you, but that did not prevent you from approaching the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th woman. You finally clicked with the fifth woman. You two are hooking up next week. Even two of the four women who rejected you are talking about how "bold" your approach was, and how "self-assured" you expressed yourself. Lack of confidence - Yeah, you had the COURAGE to approach one of the "DIMES" in the room ... but you expressed yourself so awkwardly, hesitantly, and overly-cautious, that she had no problem rejecting you. She knows you're not in her league. Because you're now so dejected over that rejection, you throw in the towel for the night. No more rejection for you. You now sell that book you were reading on Ebay for half-price. See the difference fellas? COURAGE will help you take that INITIAL ACTION ... but it is CONFIDENCE that will sustain your ability to take the same action repeatedly. Confidence affects your ATTITUDE and DEMEANOR more so than courage does. All courage says is, "approach that woman." It is confidence that says "approach that woman as if you know for a fact that she's going to respond to you in a favorable manner." Again, in my mind, the two concepts go hand-in-hand.... In my Mode One book, I don't "over-emphasize" the importance of 'courage' or 'confidence.' What I emphasize is.... 1) Always take action. Even if you're afraid to. 2) Always express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a highly self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest, and unapologetic manner. Even if you're afraid of being rejected or criticized. 3) If a woman fails to reciprocate your desires and interests ... accept it, and leave her alone. Even if your ego is telling you to become more "persistent." There is a difference between 'rejection' and
'resistance.' That's essentially what it comes down to.... Because ultimately, it's primarily about overcoming fear. 90% of what my "Mode One" book is about is diminishing your fear of rejection & criticisms, as well as weeding out invalid & ineffective beliefs related to interacting with women, and attracting women. Taking action, despite the presence of some degree of fear, is always important. I don't base my self-confidence solely and specifically on how many "positive" and/or reciprocal responses I receive from women. At most, that is maybe 15-20% of the basis for my self-confidence with women. The vast majority of my confidence (at least 80-85% of it) comes from 2-3 factors: 1) My ability to take action, and approach every woman who I may be attracted to; 2) My ability to express myself to women in an upfront, straightforward, and unapologetic manner; 3) My ability to handle and/or ignore most, if not all, of the 'negative' reactions I may receive from women or the subjective criticisms & opinionated insults I may receive from women To sum it up even more specifically, I gain confidence each and every time I simply exhibit "Mode One" Behavior towards a woman ... regardless of whether or not my desires, interests, and intentions were reciprocated or not. You know what really gets me off? Is those instances where even though I was rejected, I was the one who left the conversation/interaction with a 'smile' on my face ... while the woman stood there looking shell-shocked or pissed. Taking action is by no means the "only way" to diminish and/or eliminate your fears ... but it is effective. F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real I just wanted to quickly tell you fellas of a young man I met (via the Internet) last Fall that purchased the paperback version of my "Mode One" Book. Within a few days after he purchased my book, he started approaching a number of women, and expressing himself in a 'Mode One' manner. And, in his own opinion, he felt like 90% of the time, he was being 'shot down' (i.e., quickly rejected). 1) I re-emphasized to him that the #1 objective of exhibiting "Mode One Behavior" is not to always or consistently receive a 'positive' and/or 'reciprocal' response from the women you approach. The #1 key to Mode One is simply to exhibit Mode One Behavior. 2) I always say to men: 99.9% of the time, REJECTION IS 'WIN-WIN'
Why? - If a woman rejects you because she just has 0% interest in you, then that is a "win." Why? Because that woman is saving you time and money by preventing you from pursuing her attention and companionship; - If a woman rejects you, and she really does have some degree of romantic and/or sexual interest in you, then I would say that 90-99% chance ... at some point in the future ... she's going to seek out your attention again. This particular reader of my book experienced at least one instance of each "win" scenario recently.... Woman "A": The reader of my book originally approached a woman in November 2006 and expressed his interest to her in a 'Mode One' manner; She pretty much rejected him within the first three or four minutes of their conversation. Guess who asked for his number when they ran into each other again at a social event on the North Side of Chicago? That same woman. Guess who made out with her recently, and did everything short of fucking her? This same reader of my book who was initially "rejected." WIN for the reader. Woman "B": The reader of my book originally approached a woman in about mid-April of this year, and expressed his interests in a 'Mode One' manner; She rejected him and told him that he wasn't "her type." Later he finds out from some acquaintances of hers that this same woman is a major "lush" (i.e., semi-alcoholic) and occasional drug user (marijuana and cocaine). The reader doesn't really drink at all, and doesn't touch drugs. So he realizes that her "rejection," in the long-run, was to his best interest. Remember: When you are 'Mode One' with women ... and you get rejected ... 99.9% of the time, it is to your benefit rather than your detriment in the long-run .... In my opinion, many activities of interest in life is more or less a "numbers game." - Job hunting - shooting baskets in basketball - dating / seduction - hitting home runs in baseball - sales - attracting customers if you're a business owner So many other activities I can't even think of. My main emphasis with men is reducing the amount of time and/or money you invest pursuing women who are not interested in you so you can spend more time with the women who are genuinely interested in you .... This is Alan ... I am the author of "Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking." I've had quite of few guys purchase my E-Book after reading through this thread (I actually just found out about it). I first came across the movie, "Talk Dirty To Me" in Summer of 1981. I was amazed the first time I
saw that movie, and particularly, the opening scene. I had never in my life seen a man approach a woman while being that bold, upfront, unapologetic, and sexually straightforward. Initially, I didn't think a man could get away with that type of behavior in real life. Even my brother, and one of my brother's best friends said to me, "Alan ... that's just a porno movie. In real life, a man would either get slapped, cursed out, or both." And actually, for about 2 or 3 years, I believed that (that it wouldn't work). The first time you can say that I "tested it out" was around Summer of 1984. I was on a "triple date" with two friends of mine. The woman I ended up with (a girlfriend of one of my buddy's dates) was a semi-bitch. She had MAJOR attitude. Initially, I did all of the "conventional" stuff: tried to be 'nice' .... tried to 'play up to her ego' with flattery and compliments ... etc. She just became MORE of a bitch towards me. Finally, just when I was about to 'wave the white flag' so to speak, I said to myself, "I'm going to try that 'John Leslie' method from 'Talk Dirty To Me'...." Sure enough, that sh** worked. Here is the greatest lesson you can learn from watching that opening scene from Talk Dirty To Me: 1) Just because a woman initially gives you a "negative" reaction and/or "unenthusiastic" response doesn't necessarily mean that she's not interested in dating you and/or having sex with you. Many times, women are TESTING you. They're testing you to see if you REALLY HAVE BALLS, or are PRETENDING to have balls. For those of you who are skeptics about this, it's the women themselves who actually told me this (hours or days later, after they themselves gave me a 'negative' response). When do you "pass" the test? When you remain totally unaffected by their harsh, subjective criticisms and opinionated insults of your behavior. When do you "flunk" the test? When you say something bold or provocative to a woman, and she criticizes you or insults you, and then you decide to become apologetic, defensive, and start retracting everything you initially said to her because you're 'afraid' of 'offending' her , or making her feel 'uncomfortable.' If you're inexperienced with women, you cannot go out attempting to imitate John Leslie's behavior word-for-word, action-for-action. I wouldn't recommend that to any guy on here. Especially the part where he just takes out his cock. For the "beginners" in the direct game, I just want you to pay attention to how cool, calm, composed, and confident he remains in the face of harsh criticism. That's one of the TOP KEYS to the EFFECTIVENESS of Mode One Behavior. You have to remain unaffected by subjective criticism. When you watch that opening scene from "Talk Dirty To Me," it's not so much his (John Leslie as "Jack") specific words you want to try to imitate .... but more so, it's Jack's underlying attitude and overall demeanor. Over the next few years after seeing that movie, that is what I imitated. His cocky attitude, and his "I don't give a fu** whether you 'approve' or 'disapprove' of my behavior"
demeanor. You seem to be very skeptical about the "bold, upfront, straight-to-the-point" manner of approach.... Let me put it to you this way: Let's say all attractive, single women walked around with a "tag" around their neck (I've actually done a 'tag around the neck' exercise at some of my informal presentations for "Mode One"). Now, let's say all of the single women had one of FOUR tags wrapped around their neck: Tag #1 - "(in big letters) MS. PRUDE (in smaller letters) I am a religious, prudish 'good girl'. I will only have sex with a man when I am married to him" Tag #2 - "(in big letters) MS. MONOGAMOUS (in smaller letters) I am very sexually conservative and monogamous. I will only have sex with a man if he is my boyfriend, and committed to a monogamous relationship with me" Tag #3 - "(in big letters) MS OPEN-MINDED (in smaller letters) I normally prefer to only have sex with men within the context of a serious. committed relationship ... but I will 'occasionally' indulge in non-monogamous, casual sex" Tag #4 - "(in big letters) MS KINKY FREAK (in smaller letters) I am very free-spirited and semipromiscuous. If I find you handsome, charming, and sexy, there is nothing kinky I wouldn't allow you to say to me. Once you say the right thing to get my pussy wet, I will please you in any way I can sexually." Approaching women, and conversing with them and interacting with them would be very easy if every single woman you met had one of these four "tags" around their neck at all times. You would know exactly WHAT TO SAY and WHAT NOT TO SAY to pretty much every woman you approached. In other words, realistically, you wouldn't approach a woman with Tag #1 around her neck in the same manner that you would a woman with Tag #3 or Tag #4 around her neck, would you? 99% chance, no. BUT ... let's throw this in the mix ... What if a woman who really exhibited the behavior of Tag #3 was to put on "Tag #1" just to try to fool you. Manipulate you? What if a woman who really exhibited the behavior of Tag #4 was to put on "Tag #2" just to try to throw men off, and present herself publicly as a highly respectable 'good girl', even though deep-down, she loved to engage in kinky, semi-promiscuous sex?? The reality of life is: WOMEN DO THIS ALL OF THE TIME. I would say, on average, maybe only 1/4 - 1/3 of the women you meet present themselves as they really are. In other words, their "public tag" is the same as their "private, behind-closed-doors" tag. But for most women?? Roughly 2/3 - 3/4 of the women you meet put on social facades. They wear one 'tag' in public, but behindclosed-doors, they wear a totally different 'tag'. Why will some women have sex with you within less-than-an-hour after meeting you, even after they initially gave you a hard time, criticized you, or insulted you?? Because you exposed the 'tag' they were really wearing
This is the essence, and the 'magic', of MODE ONE BEHAVIOR. Dude! You need to 'cool it' somewhat with the immediate X-rated dialogue. I many times use an "Xrated" approach with certain women, but that's because I'm very experienced, and know how to read a woman's body language exceptionally well. But I tell all men who are just "starting out" with the use of Mode One Behavior that should watch yourself going up to women and simply saying, "I want to fu** you...." They might have a boyfriend ten feet away with a gun on him. Or like you said your friend got the police called on him. You can exhibit Mode One Behavior without using 'X-rated' language or profanity. I've used Mode One in a "PG" or "PG-13" manner a number of times, and it was just as effective as when I used profane, X-rated language. Remember: Mode One is more about your attitude and demeanor than it is about what words or phrases you actually use. To Coco Butter: Yes my friend, I want to eventually do my own podcast shows ... but Steve "The Dean" Williams doesn't want me to branch out just yet!! LOL He loves having me as one of his "featured guests." The earliest I could see doing my own thing would be June or July of this year. Your advice to Casshern was pretty much on-point. The only time I use Mode One with women in a totally "X-rated" manner is when I can tell by the way she's dressed, and the way she's behaving, that she's a straight-up kinky freak type. But even then, I wait until after I've qualified a few things... 1) Is this woman single? Or is she married or in a serious relationship? Comment: I personally don't hit on women who are married. Even if they show interest towards me, I just don't. Messing around with women who have a boyfriend, fiance', or husband leads to unnecessary drama more often than not. I don't recommend it at all. But ... to each their own. 2) When does this woman want to share my company one-on-one? Tonight? 2-3 days from now? 23 weeks from now?? Here would be an example of a somewhat "X-rated" approach with a woman (after I've received signs from her body language that she is pretty much a kinky, semi-promiscuous 'freak' type): Me (approaching her): "So .... would you like to share my company two weekends from now or three weekends from now ...." [trying to get a definite date from her on sharing my company] Her (caught off guard): "Excuse me? I beg your pardon??" Me (remaining cool, calm, composed and confident): "You're excused. (pause) And you don't have to 'beg' me for anything just yet...." Her (probably giggles): "And just why should I share your company two to three weekends from now ... I don't even know you!!" Me (smirking): "And that is EXACTLY why you should share my company. So you can get to know me, and I can get to know you."
Her (skeptical and sassy): "I bet you just want to get in my pants...." PAUSE: Now this is when it's "okay" to be sexually provocative with a woman. When a woman makes a statement like that, you never want to become defensive and say, "No! That's not why I want to get together with you! I swear! Sex is the last thing on my mind!!" That's a lie. Don't try to fool her, and even worse, don't try to fool yourself. Me (responding to her 'get in the pants' comment): "Of course I want to exchange orgasms with you. That's a given. I wouldn't be talking to you if I didn't want to exhange orgasms with you. But let's not 'rush' into kinky sex just yet. I have to feel you out first. See if you're truly my type...." Her (surprised): "Your type?!? Why would you approach me if I wasn't your type??" Me: "Physically ... yes ... you're my type. But you might be a woman who only loves missionary position. Or doesn't like oral sex. You see, I love doggie style ... and I love having my dick sucked ..." Her (startled): "Oh my God!!! You are SO FORWARD. I can't believe you talk to women like this...." Me: "Believe it. (pause) So ... do you love to suck cock ...." Her (looking around to make sure none of her girlfriends are hearing her conversation): "Of course. Don't all women? But I don't just go around sucking ANY man's cock ..." Me: "Do I look like just 'any' man? You just insulted me." Her: "I didn't mean to...." Me: "Say, 'I'm sorry Alan .... I didn't mean to insult you...'" Her: "I'm sorry Alan ... I didn't mean to insult you...." Me: "Write your number down, and I'll call you in about a week...." Her: "A week?? Why so long??" Me (moving closer, whispering in her ear): "So ... you want to suck my cock real soon .... don't you...." Her (becoming more comfortable, aroused, and submissive): "Maybe .... maybe not ...." Me: "There is no 'maybe' to it. You want to suck my cock .... say it...." Her (totally in the palm of my hand now): "I want to .... suck your cock ...." Me: "Say it again ...." Her: "I want to suck your cock ...." 90% chance, I let her suck my cock that night. If I want to 'toy' with her a bit, I make her wait a day or two.
Point: You never want to seem "overanxious" to have sex with a woman. That reeks of 'desperation'. That's why I usually do the "2-3 weeks from now" mentality. Women get turned on when they think you're very patient for sex. Women have admitted this to me. Most of the time, you want to make them seem like the "impatient" ones. For example, you notice that "Jack" (John Leslie) in that opening scene from Talk Dirty To Me made the female doctor become impatient?? He initially said "Be at my place at 5:00pm....." She moved up the time to right now. WOMEN WILL DO THIS when you present yourself as patient. Bold, upfront, and direct does not mean overanxious, desperate, and/or impatient. You know, I hear that comment from men a lot (re: "Deep down, this is the way I've always wanted to interact with women, yet I didn't know it was possible..."). Once you realize that most women put on 'airs' and 'social facades' to protect their image, their reputation, and their level of perceived 'respectability', you then slowly, but surely begin to realize why Mode One Behavior is so highly effective. Generally speaking, you cannot just walk up to a woman and say, "I want to fu** you," and have success with a woman. Especially a woman who is classy, intelligent, educated, and perceives herself as a 'respectable lady.' I've done a variation of that a handful of times and got away with it, but I generally do not recommend that approach at all. Like I said in my earlier post, there are at least two things that should come before you express any sort of sexual interest: 1) Is this woman single & unattached? 2) What day in the near future does this woman want to share your company one-on-one? did you watch that opening scene from the adult film classic, Talk Dirty To Me?? If so, did you notice how initially the female physician did not respond to 'Jack' (John Leslie) with a positive and/or enthusiastic response?? Why did this woman INITIALLY respond to Jack as if she was "turned off" when in reality she was really "TURNED ON??" Read Chapter Six in my book. The section that deals with "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites." Here is what many men who read my book DON'T GET. Most men have been conditioned to believe that any "negative" response from woman is a BAD thing. NOT TRUE. When you exhibit 'Mode One' Behavior, you will find that many times .... receiving a 'negative' response (initially) is exactly what you want. That means you're on to something. How so? 1) The more duplicitous a woman is, the higher the likelihood that she's going to initially respond to you in a 'negative' manner. Why? Refer to the 'tags around the neck' concept above; You see, if a woman is wearing a "Ms. Monogamous" tag in public (i.e., her social 'mask' or 'facade'), but you approach her and converse with her as if you ALREADY KNOW FOR A FACT that her behavior is really representative of Tag #4 ("Ms. Kinky Freak"), that is going to frustrate the hell out of a woman.
This is what provokes many of their 'negative' responses. EGOTISTICAL FRUSTRATION. They can't believe you saw through their facade. Most naive guys don't. You see, realistically, all women want to fu**. Let's get that clear. There are no such thing as 'good girls' VS 'sluts'. That is, for the most part, a myth. ALL WOMEN WANT TO BE FU**ED. The difference between most women is to what degree do they want to protect their image, reputation, and perceived level of respectability. 2) The more manipulative a woman is, the higher the likelihood that she is going to initially respond to you in a 'negative' manner. Why? 3 Under, when you approach a woman in a Mode One manner, and she initially responds to you negatively, 90% chance, it's because you frustrated her ego. Women are not mentally prepared to respond to behavior that is not in line with what they're accustomed to. Women are ACCUSTOMED to 'Mode Two' Behavior and 'Mode Three' Behavior. They have been conditioned all of their lives to prepare for, and respond to, both of those forms of behavior. Women are not prepared for either 'Mode One' Behavior or 'Mode Four' Behavior. That throws them off. You see, all 'manipulative' type women love to play games. Most men are 'afraid' of rejection. I'm not. Just the opposite. When I exhibit Mode One Behavior towards women, I want a woman to ultimately only have two choices with me: a) Reciprocate my desires, interests, and intentions.... -orb) Reject my desires, interests, and intentions. Non-manipulative women will do that. They will either reciprocate or reject. Manipulative women don't like their hand forced. They don't like to be put in a position where they are forced to either reciprocate your interests, or reject your interests. Remember in my book where I refer to "the ambiguous zone??" This is where manipulative women like to operate from. They like to be vague, ambiguous, and very, very general when it comes to their interest in you. In other words, they want to be everything but specific. Manipulative women want to see if they can get you to 'jump through hoops' in order to gain their attention and maintain their interest. Here's my thing: The only thing you should ever offer to a woman in exchange for her romantic companionship is your romantic companionship. The only thing you should ever offer to a woman in exchange for her sexual companionship is your sexual companionship. Recap: - Duplicitous women, such as "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites" are always going to initially respond to you in a 'negative' manner even if they are very, very interested in dating you and/or having sex with you. The reason being that WPs and EHs become very egotistically frustrated over the fact that you have 'exposed' the fact that their 'social facade' is really invalid. Women love the cock, but have been socialized and conditioned by their parents, their church, and society in general to always uphold a "respectable" reputation. So, they have to walk around basically "pretending" that they don't want any cock from a guy, when they know deep-down, they
do. - Manipulative women, or women who love to play 'head games' with men, are always going to initially respond to you in a 'negative' manner even if they are very, very interested in dating you and/or having sex with you. Manipulative women don't like to be forced into reciprocating your interests or rejecting your interests too quickly. They want to be able to 'toy with you', and 'play games' with you before acknowledging either a definite interest in you ... or a definite lack of interest in you. Their attitude is, "Why immediately reject a guy, if I can possibly get a free lunch or free dinner out of this guy?" "Why immediately reciprocate this guy's interests, when I can possibly get him to flatter me, hound me with phone calls, and generally 'chase' me?" Bottom line: Once you start adopting the Mode One lifestyle of interpersonal communication 3 Under, this sort of thing will start to become a part of the 'norm' in your interactions with women. I always tell men, in the face of harsh subjective criticisms, 1) remain calm, composed and confident ... never become apologetic and/or defensive over something you said to a woman, no matter how 'bold' 'upfront' or 'provocative' it was; 2) if a woman is 'resisting' you (i.e., she's harshly criticizing your behavior, or your manner of verbal expression, but she's yet to say "I'm not interested in you"), simply become more persistent. If a woman 'rejects' you (i.e., she flat-out says, "I have no interest in dating you or having sex with you"), then immediately leave her alone. I've had women damn near curse me out at 10:00pm on a Friday night, and by 11:00pm or 11:30pm, that same woman was on her knees sucking my cock (seriously; sometimes, even quicker than that). Other times, it's been over a longer period of time. For example, I met a woman once at a party around Christmas of 2005 who I was 'Mode One' with. Initially, she rejected me and told me that I was an 'egotistical asshole'. I left her alone. I never continue to pursue a woman once she's flat-out rejected me. I simply move on to the next woman. Sure enough, about 2 1/2 - 3 months later, this same woman calls me after getting my cell phone number from a mutual friend of ours. Now, she's all 'nice' to me and everything. About 2 weeks later, we were fu**ing. Such is life when you're MODE ONE. This is why so many men always ask me, "Why do women initially give you a hard time, only to later give in to your desires??" Because of what you said above. Women love to TEST men. They love to test you to see if you really have balls, or are pretending to have balls. If I'm reading you correctly, you're essentially asking me is it better to start off in Mode One, than to try to make a transition from Mode Two to Mode One, or make a transition from Mode Three to Mode One?? Correct? If so, exactly. Always be Mode One. Never take criticisms or rejection from a woman at face value. Like I said, a woman can be harshly criticizing you at 10:00pm, and turn around and suck your cock at 11:15pm. A woman can reject you in December, only to call you in March, April, or May and invite you over to her place to exchange orgasms with her. You just never know with Mode One. I would say, 99% of the time, if a woman walks away from you ... leave her alone. Let her come back to you. Most of the time, they will. But don't 'hound' her with over-aggressive and/or overeager behavior. State your desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in an ultra-confident, bold, upfront, and
straight-to-the-point manner ... and let whatever reaction that woman decides to direct your way be the end of it. The only time you should become more persistent is if a woman is criticizing you, but at the same time, she's not making any move to end the conversation with you. She's starting to ask you questions like, "Are you always this cocky and straightforward with women??" "Do you just let your thoughts be known with ALL women like this??" Once a woman starts asking those sort of questions, she is intrigued and curious. Right where you want them.... I typically say, "Why are you concerned with how I interact with 'other' women ... all that's important now is how I'm interacting with you..." P.S. The reason why women ask these sort of questions? They want to know if this type of cocky, highly self-assured, straightforward behavior is effective with other women. They know they like that sort of behavior deep-down, but a part of them feels like they're "supposed to dislike it." So, if you told them, "you are the ONLY WOMAN who I've been this direct with....," then that would make them feel like they're being a 'whore' or a 'slut' or something. Like you gave the other women 'more respect' by not being so direct. But then, on the flip side, if you let them know you're totally direct with ALL WOMEN, then that makes them feel like 'just another conquest' of yours. So this is why I rarely, if ever, answer those questions directly. As I alluded to above, the main reason why so many women initially don't respond positively to Mode One/Direct Method behavior is that their 'societal brainwashing' has led them to believe that they're not "supposed to like" such behavior. On the surface (consciously), they feel like they should be "offended" and/or "insulted" by such straight-to-the-point behavior. But .... deep-down ... they know good and well that they're aroused by such behavior. Because direct behavior is authentic. There is nothing phony, disingenuous, or manipulative about your behavior. Classic example: Once, when I was in college, I was talking to this attractive T.A. (Professor's Assistant) about a paper I had turned in. We got to talking about different personal stuff, and I told her, "You have an ass that is tailor-made for doggie style .... I would love to fu** you from behind...." She went off. Told me I was a "juvenile, immature jerk" who allowed "his penis to control his thoughts." All she did was criticize me and insult me. She even said, "If you talk to me that way again, I will report you to [the main professor]." At this point, even I thought I had "crossed the line." A female friend of mine, who sort of witnessed this from a far, was even like "Alan ... I know you're bold and shit ... but I think you went too far...." But ... fast forward to about a week-and-a-half later. This same woman calls me after getting my number from the Indiana University Student Directory. I answer the phone, and she tells me who she is. I'm genuinely surprised. She starts mildly criticizing me again, but she says she told all of her girlfriends about how bold and sexually straightforward my behavior was. She says a couple of her girlfriends want to meet me. So, she invites me over to her place. I get there, converse with her and her girlfriends, and soon, I have them captivated with stories about how I was Mode One with other women. Soon, her two girlfriends leave, but minutes later, me and that same T.A. who was going off on me are now fu**ing. Anyways, long story short,
while we're having sex, she admits that even when she was 'going off' on me in the classroom, deep-down, she was aroused, intrigued, and curious. She basically said what I said above: "You realize Alan ... as women ... we are not programmed to immediately respond (favorably) to that sort of behavior (i.e., Mode One Behavior) ... that would make us feel like a 'slut' .... but that day when you said that to me, I wanted to just slide up my skirt and let you have your way with me...." This is why I always tell men: NEGATIVE RESPONSES DON'T MEAN JACK SH**!! Women who are genuinely not interested in you usually will not get all 'theatrical' with you. They will just calmly say something like, "You're a great guy ... and that was an original approach ... but I'm just not interested." But the women who start going off on you with criticisms and insults? Like the female physician in "Talk Dirty To Me??" Deep-down, those women are putting up a front. What they're experiencing is HOW THEY REALLY FEEL (aroused/intrigued) VS HOW THEY THINK THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO REACT (society tells them that they should feel 'insulted' or 'offended' by such bold, provocative talk) Just like a young basketball player will emulate the likes of Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Steve Nash, LeBron James or Dirk Nowitzki until he comes into his own, and develops his own unique style .... well that's what I did with John Leslie's character of "Jack." When I was younger, probably 75% of my "Mode One" brand of behavior was 'stolen' from Leslie's character of "Jack" in Talk Dirty To Me, Talk Dirty To Me, Part II, and Nothing To Hide. (The later versions of the Talk Dirty To Me series were crap) If you genuinely care for a woman ... then my attitude is, tell her. What I don't believe in is "pretending" to 'care' for a woman when you know deep-down, you really don't. That's manipulative. If Ranko says that works for him, more power to him. I personally don't believe in manipulating women. I believe in being 100% authentic. When I'm "PG-13" Mode One, the first thing I do is avoid explicit talk or profanity. For example, instead of saying "we need to hook up sometime and fuck....", I would instead say, "We need to hook up sometime and exchange orgasms...." Sometimes I might just say, "We really need to get together and enjoy some 'one-on-one' time..." That's sort of tough for me to answer, because I rarely look at women as "long-term relationship material" from Day One. It usually takes me at least 2 - 3 weeks worth of interaction with a woman for me to view her as "girlfriend material." At the risk of sounding somewhat cynical and/or skeptical, I don't trust too many women from the time I meet them. There are a lot of women who are super-kinky and to one degree or another, promiscuous, that will present themselves as an 'innocent, wholesome, monogamous-minded good girl' who is perfect to be your next girlfriend. That's why I don't like being Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women. That gives women an easy opportunity to play "the good girl role." Let's put this way: If I'm going to make a mistake in judgment, I would rather make the mistake of approaching a woman with the assumption that she is willing to have kinky, non-monogamous casual sex with me .... and find out that I was wrong in that assumption .... then to make the mistake
of approaching a woman with the assumption that she is a 'good girl,' and only willing to have monogamous sex ... only to find out later that she's engaged in five sexual orgies. (Read Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 in my "Mode One" book for better understanding of this) There is nothing wrong though with letting a woman you want to have a relationship with know that you're very interested in having [monogamous] sex with her. All women want to have good sex. Whether it's in the context of a serious relationship, or a casual non-monogamous relationship, they still want good sex. Women's behavior, much more than men, are totally full of behavior that is inconsistent, wishywashy, contradictory, and/or hypocritical. Again, when it comes to responding to Mode One Behavior, they're constantly engaged in this psychological 'conflict' of how they really want to respond VS how they think they're 'supposed to' respond. There were times, when I was younger and more inexperienced with Mode One, that I would make the crucial mistake of becoming apologetic and/or defensive. Before: Her (after I said something bold and provocative): "You're such an asshole! How dare you talk to me that way!! Do I look like a whore to you??" Me (in the inexperienced days): "My bad. I am so sorry. Did I offend you or make you feel uncomfortable?? I hope I didn't insult you..." Her (even angrier): "Well, you DID insult me. Look. Don't EVER talk to me again. You got that? I don't waste time with assholes like you. If you approach me again, I'll tell the police that you're stalking me!! You LOSER!!!" When a man becomes apologetic and/or defensive in response to a woman's negative reactions = no respect whatsoever from that woman. She thinks you're a 'wimp' who is pretending to have balls. After: Her (after I said something bold and provocative): "You're such an asshole! How dare you talk to me that way!! Do I look like a whore to you??" Me (now, after knowing the real deal with women): "You have a nice dimple that shows up on your cheek when you frown...." (joking with her, letting her know that I don't take her antagonistic behavior 'serious') Her (just like the female physician in "Talk Dirty To Me"): "You horny dogs are all alike! You're crass, vulgar, disgusting, and immoral!! You need to go to church or something!!" Me: "So ... we're getting together next Friday or a week from Friday?" Her (sighs out of frustration; she's angry that I refuse to become apologetic and/or defensive): "What makes you think I would ever want to spend time with you? You're a JERK...." Me: "Oooooooooooooh. That was sort of sexy. You love the power of being able to call me a 'jerk', don't you...."
Her (softening up a bit): "Yes. I surely do...." Me: "Say, 'Alan ... you are such a jerk....'" Her (obeying): "Alan ... you are such a jerk...." Me: "Say it a little bit softer, and more seductive...." Her (more seductive): "Alan ... you are such a jerk ...." Me: "You love the power that it gives you to say that...." Her: "Yes...." Me: "Say, 'Alan ... I love having the power to say what I want to say....'" Her: "Alan .... I love having the power to say what I want to say...." Me (moving closer, whispering in her ear): "I'm going to fuck you. And I'm going to let you say whatever you want to say to me while I'm fucking you. Would you like that...." Her (very softly and submissively): "Yes..... I would like that...." That dialogue is actually loosely based on a real-life interaction I had with a woman last Summer. Lesson to be learned: You can never take the so-called 'negative responses' too seriously. Again, if a woman is genuinely not interested in dating you and/or having sex with you, she's not going to waste 5 - 10 minutes criticizing you or insulting you. She's just going to simply say, "With all due respect to your audacious approach ... I'm sorry ... I'm just not interested." 90-99% of the time when a woman is getting all 'theatrical' (i.e., hurling a number of harsh, subjective criticisms and personal insults your way), she's just putting up a front. Just think ... if all men were Mode One and direct, many of these women would essentially be eliminated: - Golddiggers - Attention Whores - Cock Teasers - Drama Queens - Other types of manipulative and/or duplicitous women But ... sadly ... as long as you have men exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior, those various types of women will always exist. I've worked in Hollywood. I know many Development Executives (the people who work for movie studios that decide whether or not a script will be turned into a movie), and you're right CB ... a true "Mode One" movie would never get the 'green light' unless it was independently financed. Men would go see it ... similar to "In The Company of Men" or "Swingers," but women would probably protest it as being 'misogynistic.' You have my book, right? Did you read Chapter Six? Particularly, the portion about "Porno films VS Chick Flicks"?? One of the reasons why women would never want to see an R-rated version of
"Talk Dirty To Me" or "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" is because they don't like to see men getting women in bed without "jumping through hoops" prior to getting the pussy. I've even had women admit this to me. It frustrates most women to see men getting "easy pussy." Manipulative type women especially. Actually CB ... I have a lot of women that actually want me to write a book that details many of my "Mode One Seduction" experiences. I've actually had more women urge me to write that book more so than the men I know! That's interesting to me. Big business. Corporations don't want to 'turn off' women. Women, generally speaking, spend more money on consumer items than men do. Therefore, all TV commercials, TV shows, and magazines are geared towards 'playing up to' women. Movie studios would make a movie that pleases women and totally turns off men before they would make a movie that pleases men and potentially turns off women. It's sad, really. I only talk about sex to the point where it enhances a woman's arousal, curiosity, and intrigue. But you don't want to come across as "Mr. Horny Toads." Never act 'over-anxious' or 'over-eager' for sex. Women generally get turned off by that. Behave as if you could care less whether you fuck them one week from now, two weeks from now, a month from now, or even two months or longer from now. I always tell guys: You never want to under-emphasize sex or over-emphasize sex. You want to be sort of 'right in the middle.' Try to 'play off' of the things she says. Depends on how you define "insignificant small talk." I don't really consider 'non-sexual' conversation as "small talk." I consider 'small talk' any conversation you're engaging in that you just plain and simply, don't care about. For example, when I was conversing with that Professor's Assistant, at the time I was talking about the paper I turned in ... I was genuinely interested in that. That wasn't just "filler" talk. "Small talk" is when you approach a woman, and start talking about ... gardening ... or cooking ... when you know for a 100% fact that you're not at all interested in either one of those topics. For example, there was one time when I lived in Los Angeles, where I met two blondes, and within the first 5-10 minutes of the conversation, I told them I wanted to have a threesome with them. They were all into the idea. They weren't ready to hook up that particular night (it was like a Wednesday or Thursday), so we talked about hooking up that Friday or Saturday night. They were waiting for a friend to pick them up from this health club, so I decided to engage in "chit chat." HUGE mistake. By the end of my 30-minute "small talk" conversation, their interest in the threesome diminished. I was too 'humorous' with them. They began to see me as "Mr. Jokester Guy." On the other hand though, there have been a few times where I stated my sexual desires ... then engaged in 15-20 minutes more of entertaining conversation .... and it didn't really hurt me. My advice: Always keep the conversation to some degree related to your objectives (e.g., dating her, fucking her, etc.). Don't stray too far off of that subject. And don't try to be "Mr. Comedian." That makes women look at you more as 'platonic friend' material than someone they want to fuck. It's alright to be casually 'witty' ... if the opportunity presents itself ... but don't just come out with a string of "jokes."
I would probably say, generally speaking, "lightheartedly cocky." But it depends on how much "shit" they gave me. If a woman really, really acted like a complete "bitch" towards me when I initially approached her ... and harshly rejected me ... and then calls me up 3, 4, 5 months later? Dude, you better believe I'm going to be COCKY AS HELL with that woman. If a woman sort of 'mildly' rejected me ... and then gets back in contact with me ... then I will just set up a day and time for us to hook up one-on-one. Don't slip into Mode Two or Mode Three when a woman contacts you later on. YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND at this point. Use that "power." It is my belief that real, authentic behavior is always a turn-on for both men and women. Phony, disingenuous, cowardly behavior is not. I would rank that opener as maybe a "3" ['I like you. I want to get to know you']. My one criticism against such an opener is, "What difference does it make if you 'like' her, if she's married, engaged, in a serious relationship, or just has no interest in sharing your company in a one-on-one manner?" You have to be more confidently assumptive. More like, "I like you .... so let's get together next weekend. Is Friday or Saturday better for you?" This way, if she's married, she will tell you immediately ... or if she's just not interested, you won't waste time, and she will let you know. If she's interested or intrigued, she will keep the conversation going. In my experiences, small doses of witty humor can enhance your appeal to a woman .... but when you "over-do" the humorous behavior, women start to look at you as someone they want to be 'entertained' by rather than someone they want to be fucked by. Over the years, I can name at least 4 or 5 times where I was Mode One with a woman ... had her curious and intrigued ... and then, once I started to become too humorous ... their [sexual] interest began to diminish. I always tell men, it's better to be 'witty' than 'funny.' "Witty" is more responsive humor. You're humorously playing off of something she did or said. "Funny" is when you're just cracking a number of "jokes." I don't know about Juggler's 'escalation system' in detail, so I cannot validly comment on that. I know with Mode One, I don't try to do 'platonic' first, and then elevate that to romantic/sexual. That's basically what Mode Two Behavior is. When you're Mode Two, you basically start off with women exhibiting well-mannered, socially acceptable, conventional behavior ... in essence, platonic behavior ... and then you cautiously and slowly gear up to a point in which you express some sort of romantic and/or sexual interest. The problem I have with Mode Two Behavior is that even a woman who is not genuinely interested in you will allow you to be entertaining with them, and allow you to 'pass the time' with them with 'interesting' conversation. I never want to do that. I want to identify potential interest in a woman within the first three to five minutes of conversation. I've done a variation of that, but I wouldn't categorize them as 'sexual jokes,' but rather 'sexual stories.' For example, if you refer to my thread where I talked about seducing the Professor's Assistant ... she had me come over to her place, and she had two of her girlfriends there (one was 'so-so' looking, the other was actually pretty attractive). Probably 2/3 of my conversation with the three women before the two girlfriends left was me telling them about other "Mode One seductions" of mine. They were totally fascinated with that shit. Again ... I'm not totally against the use of humor in conversation ... but I'm leery of 'over-doing' it with the 'Mr. Funny Man' routine. Witty > Funny
Most men, in their attempt to 'talk their way into a woman's pants' .... end up 'talking their way out of a woman's pants.' Too much bullshit conversation = little to no sexual interest from women What I generally like to do with women is say what I want to say within the first minute or two of the conversation, and then, the only other real talking I do is simply responding to and/or making fun of her responses. After my initial opening comments, I just sort of 'play off of her' after that. But I don't really initiate too much conversation after my opening comments. Mode One Behavior is the most effective way to identify ... 1) If a woman is genuinely interested in you, or pretending to be interested in you in order to 'use' you, manipulate you, play 'head games' with you, and/or just generally waste your time; 2) If a woman who is presenting herself to you as an 'innocent, wholesome good girl' is really that way, or pretending to be that way in order to hide the fact that she's really a kinky, semipromiscuous freak who has no problems engaging in a few episodes of casual sex; 3) If a woman is not interested in you within the first three to five minutes of conversation, without wasting 20-30 minutes of conversation or more engaging in 'small talk' before finding out this woman is in love with another guy; 4) If a woman is a sincere, genuine, down-to-earth type woman, or a woman who frequently exhibits behavior that is inconsistent, contradictory, and/or hypocritical. This is where I differ significantly from most "attraction coaches" and "seduction gurus." I don't consider getting a woman to have sex with you as "success." I can call up a Call Girl and pay her $250-$500 to have sex with me. Does that mean I'm "successful" with women? No. Sometimes, even if a man gets rejected by a woman, I consider that a form of success. Why? Because if he exhibited Mode One Behavior, and that woman just genuinely wasn't interested in him, then he didn't waste time pursuing a woman that was never going to date him and/or have sex with him anyway. There are 2-3 types of women who Mode One Behavior is most effective on: 1) Women who are, to some degree, interested in dating you ... or having casual sex with you ... but are trying to pretend as though they have no interest in you. Why would a woman do that? In order to see if you're willing to "jump through hoops" in order to attract their attention and gain their interest; 2) Women who are totally not interested in dating you or having [casual] sex with you ... but are pretending to be interested in you in order to mislead you, toy with you, manipulate you, and waste your time. Why would a woman do that? Most women who are manipulative don't get 'wined & dined' by the guys who are actually fucking them. They get 'wined & dined' by the guys who are in their personal 'fan clubs' who want their attention and companionship really, really bad. 3) Women who are "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites" (Chapter 6); Women who like to 'publicly' behave as if they are little Ms. Innocent, Wholesome, Virtuous, and Monogamous ... but in reality, they are Ms. Kinky, Semi-Promiscuous, Free-Spirited, and ready to get their freak on.
You can't be Mode One in the exact same way in all social situations for that very reason. I have about 3-4 different "versions" of Mode One Behavior that I like to categorize by movie ratings. Mode One Behavior - PG-13 Style: This is the version of Mode One I use when talking to women when other people are in close proximity. For example, if they're in the company of 3 - 5 of their girlfriends. I don't really focus that much on letting them know I want to fuck them, as much as I simply concentrate on letting them know I want to spend time with them, one-on-one, in the near future. Mode One Behavior - R-rated Style: This is the version of Mode One I use when conversing with a woman who presents herself as professional, classy, very intelligent, and somewhat 'conservative.' I will offer more 'sexual innuendo' than actually blatant, to-the-point sexual words or phrases. I will still be provocative, to a degree, but won't use as much profanity or sexually explicit language Mode One Behavior - X-rated Style: This is the version of Mode One I use when I know all I want is a one-night stand, a weekend fling, or a few episodes of casual, kinky, non-monogamous sex with a woman. A relationship with her is not even a remote thought. I use more profane language, and more sexually explicit terms, phrases, and comments. Mode One Behavior - XXX-rated Style: This is when I know for a 100% fact that the woman I'm conversing with is a straight-up KINKY FREAK. The type of woman I can have a threesome with her, and one of her girlfriends. Within the first 15-30 seconds of the conversation, I'm talking about having my dick in her mouth or her pussy. I rarely hit on women in nightclubs. My personal opinion is that nightclubs are actually one of the worst social venues for hitting on women, based on my experiences in cities like Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami/South Beach, Atlanta, San Diego, Las Vegas, and other various cities. Many women who go to nightclubs are married, in relationships, attention whores, gold-diggers, and cock teasers. Also, women run in "packs" (groups of three or more) at nightclubs. My Top Five public social venues for approaching women, and being Mode One: 1) Bookstores and/or Libraries Comment: I've had more 'Mode One' success with single women at bookstores than probably any other public social venue I can think of. 2) Health & Fitness gyms Comment: Health Clubs are a great place to meet single women who are usually working out alone. 3) Grocery Stores Comment: I have a buddy in L.A. that said he's seduced more women using Mode One Behavior with women in grocery stores than anywhere else. 4) Coffee shops (like Starbucks) or small, quaint restaurants/bars/pubs Comment: I've had an above-average degree of success at little coffee shops 5) Places like Kinko's, Blockbuster, Post Office and other franchised service chains Comment: I've hooked up with more than a few women that I met in a Kinko's, a Blockbuster, a Mom & Pop shop, or any other place women are likely to frequent by themselves, or with one other buddy.
Women will test you all of the time. In addition to my book, you might want to read "PIMP: Story Of My Life," by Robert McKee a.k.a. "Iceberg Slim." He mentions that in his book as well. He said women "never stop testing you (as a man). They're always looking for your weaknesses and insecurities so they can use them to their advantage later on. So, you have to be on top of your game literally every day." I tell men all of the time: My Mode One book is not really a "quick fix" method of improving your success with women. Mode One is more so about long-term improvement. Because I'm not really asking you to adopt "techniques," "memorized scripts," and/or "rehearsed psychological gimmicks." I'm asking you to change your beliefs and underlying attitudes towards how you behave towards and interact with women. Good luck with the dance clubs thing though. Again, I'm not a big fan of approaching women at nightclubs. Over half of the time, the women there are either a) already in a relationship, B) a major attention whore, or c) a gold-digger. I've had success 'here and there' in nightclubs, but not nearly as much as places like bookstores, libraries, grocery stores, or health & fitness gyms. I get asked a lot of questions by the many men who have read either my paperback or my E-Book. And probably one of the Top 5 questions is, "How do I need to 'alter' or 'modify' my Mode One approach towards women when my desire and intention is more geared towards a long-term, monogamous relationship with a woman rather than just casual sex??" The problem I have with that question is that I don't know if you really need to necessarily 'modify' your approach. Example: Let's say you meet this woman named "Linda." Prior to you meeting the now single Linda, she interacted with two men over the last three years. Linda dated "Brian" for a little over two years. Let's say, from February 2004 until May 2006. Brian treated Linda as if she was his 'dream girl,' and the love of his life. He totally flattered her, bought her flowers, wined & dined her, and treated her like a princess. His only minor complaint was that he didn't always receive the sexual response from her that he wanted (i.e., he many times got the 'I have a headache ... not tonight honey' response from her). He also often described her as a wee bit "high maintenance" (i.e., she always wanted to be showered with gifts, etc.). Linda is attractive, classy, intelligent, well-educated, and is financially self-sufficient. A sweet, down-to-earth personality. Linda always tells men who approach her that she's only interested in serious relationships. Nothing casual. Knowing only this, how would you approach "Linda" jaydilla right now? Once you mull that over for a bit, let's add some new info about "Linda." Soon after breaking up with Brian, Linda was at a friend's house party in July 2006, and met the very highly self-assured and provocatively straightforward "Danny D." Danny D. is a well-known womanizer, and rarely spends money on women. He's already having sex with two different partners, but is attracted to Linda. Linda initially rebuffs him, but his bold, provocative, unapologetic behavior intrigues Linda. 2-3 weeks later, Danny D. is fucking Linda like she's his personal porno star. He has yet to exclusively commit to her, but yet, he gets pussy from Linda anytime he wants. Even Brian, who gave her everything she wanted, didn't have it like that. Danny D. has it so that he can fuck Michelle on Thursday morning, and get Linda to come over and suck his cock on Thursday night. 90% of the time they go out, Linda pays.
Now jaydilla. Knowing what you know now about her interactions with Danny D., would you approach her the same exact way that you would if you only knew about Brian? Because you know, realistically, Linda is not going to tell you about her behavior with Danny D. (Let's say, hypothetically, you met a girlfriend of Linda and/or a buddy of Danny D's, and they gave you the real scoop). Challenging, huh? If you only knew about Linda's relationship with Brian ... and judged her on how she presented herself to you (i.e., a nice, down-to-earth, monogamous-minded 'good girl'), you would probably be tempted to 'modify' your Mode One approach so that it is less-sexual, less provocative, and so that you don't seem like "Mr. Shallow" who only wants to get in Linda's pants. Well, that's fine and all ... but what if you start dating Linda in a serious relationship, and she ends up treating you like Brian because you're such a 'great guy' .... but behind your back, she's fooling around on the side with another "Danny D." type (who's Mode One!)?? I'm not trying to shatter your desires for a serious relationship, but the truth is, I know many women who behave just like "Linda." In other words, if you immediately treat them like an innocent, wholesome 'good girl' who will only have sex with you within the context of a serious, committed relationship, then they will not hesitate to 'play that role/character' that you've set them up to play. The 'role' of the monogamous-minded 'good girl.' But if some other guys approach that same woman, and treat them like they KNOW they can get the pussy from them without being in a relationship in them, they will get those women to reveal who they really are. Lesson to be learned: Many women will respond to you in the manner that you treat them. If you treat them like "Ms. Monogamous," they will play that role. If you treat them like a woman who will indulge in casual sex, they will respond accordingly. It's cool to respect women to a degree, but you never want to naively give women too much respect. Don't assume a woman is "girlfriend material." Let her, over a period of weeks and/or months, prove that to you. Being real, authentic, and straightforwardly honest with women is almost therapeutic, and it prevents misogynistic behavior later on. You're welcome jaydilla and the other fellas on here. P.S. I can't 'spoil' you guys indefinitely though! This has been sort of a week of 'free time' for me, so I don't mind coming over to this board and providing some insight. But starting probably next week, I won't be around too much. I'll keep you posted on some upcoming evening and weekend seminars I'll be doing in various cities.... Mode One/PG-13 style works just as effectively for me most of the time as Mode One/X-rated style. So I agree that you don't have to be sexually explicit with women to be effective. I would probably approach a woman and say, "I'm attracted to you .... and I think we should get together in the next 2-3 weeks. So ... next Friday cool? Two weeks from Saturday? Let me know what day works best for you ..." I love to use bold and italicized text formatting in my book ... as well as many underlined words and phrases. I get teased about that all of the time (my worst review on Amazon.com is from a guy who didn't really read my book at all. He took one look at my text formatting, and didn't like it) You're learning this slowly, but surely: You can't ever be 'too polite' with women. That's like asking
them to 'use' you, manipulate you, and then discard you once they get bored. You have to be bold and provocative. In my younger years, I would many times go out "looking to be" Mode One with women. I'll admit: When I was in my 20s, and early 30s, I treated "Mode One" almost like a 'new psychological toy' that someone had given me. I would purposely go places, just so I could approach women ... say something bold & provocative ... get them 'riled up' ... and then get me a quick blow job or some quick pussy. But I was starting to spend too much valuable time doing that. Now that I'm 'older' and more 'mature' (I guess!), I now just wait for opportunities to present themselves to me. For example, I already mentioned ... I don't do nightclubs anymore. Now and days, I tend to meet most women through my natural, day-to-day, week-to-week activities.... Now, when you go to Google, and use the keywords "Mode One" and "Alan Roger Currie," this thread comes up as one of the Top 10 hits. Soon, everyone will know about the fact that the opening scene in "Talk Dirty To Me," featuring John Leslie as "Jack," was one of my primary influences for Mode One Behavior.... "Nothing To Hide" (1981) is the TRUE sequel to "Talk Dirty To Me." It was written & directed by the same person (Anthony Spinelli) who wrote & directed "Talk Dirty To Me." "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" (1982) was the PRODUCTION COMPANY SEQUEL (Dreamland Pictures) and had the same general storyline and characters, but it was a different writer & director. I like all three films. I don't really care for the series beginning with "Talk Dirty To Me III". "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" relates to Chapter Six of my Mode One Book about "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites." Dr. Anne Childs (Bridget Monet) was a "Wholesome Pretender" and an "Erotic Hypocrite" I talk about being 'horny' and being 'sexual' on pages 44-47 of my Mode One book. I never said in my Mode One book that bold, highly self-assured, upfront and straightforward behavior (i.e., Mode One Behavior) doesn't provoke attraction and/or sexual arousal. What I did say, is that if a woman is just 100% flat-out not physically attracted to you, and simply has no degree of interest in you whatsoever, then I don't believe that you can 'magically' create interest in her just by executing some principles you read in a book. And I firmly believe that. Example(s): 1) Let's say, to some degree, you've always been attracted to the younger sister of one of your best friends. You've always thought she was attractive and had a nice figure, but you figured if you hit on her ... and she rejected you ... it might make you feel 'awkward' in her presence and/or create a certain degree of 'friction' between you and your best friend. Now, say the younger sister read 'Mode One.' Then days later, she approaches you and says, "daze ... I'd love to feel your hard dick in my mouth. Will you give me the opportunity??" I'd bet you $1,000 that your dick would be out of your pants so quick, you wouldn't have time to think.
2) Now, let's say you have a co-worker or neighbor who is just totally obese, unattractive, and nothing about her is appealing or sexy to you. But she read 'Mode One' fifteen times, and she approaches you and says, "daze ... I dream about you fucking me. I fantasize about it!! Please fuck me ... please!" Would the fact that she's straightforwardly expressing her [sexual] interests to you cause you to become 'more attracted' to her? 99.999% chance, no. This is what I'm essentially saying in my book. If a woman has at least some degree of interest in you, Mode One Behavior can 'expose' that interest, and provoke a higher degree of sexual arousal in that woman. But similar to example #2 above, if you try to be 'Mode One' with a woman who is totally, 100% not attracted to you, then you will not 'create' any attraction or interest in her. Get it? If your best friend's younger sister exhibitis 'Mode Three' Behavior towards you, 99.9% chance, you will never admit an interest in her ... and 99.9% chance, she will never admit her interest in you. If she's 'Mode Two' with you ... and 'beats around the bush' about having some degree of interest in you ... you might think it is 'too much risk' involved in making an attempt to get with her. See the difference? Bottom line: If a woman has some degree of physical attraction for you, and some degree of romantic and/or sexual interest in you, then I very much believe that Mode One Behavior will enhance her degree of sexual arousal and attraction for you. But again, if that woman has no interest in you whatsoever .... and no physical attraction for you whatsoever ... then no. I don't believe 'Mode One' will 'magically' make her interested in you. I don't even know who the hell that is!!! (Seriously) Until I visited this message board, I had never even heard of David X. I've been exhibiting Mode One Behavior since approximately 1984, 1985. I first wrote the concepts down on paper in 1990. I first published a pamphlet in 1995, and then an E-Book in 2001. I finally turned it into a paperback just last year (March 2006). When I first came up with The Four Modes Of Verbal Communication, I didn't know of any other "guru." The first "guru" I heard of in this genre (attraction, dating, seduction) was Ross Jeffries in 1996 or 1997. I think the second I heard of was David DeAngelo around 2000, 2001. Most of the other ones, like Mystery, I didn't hear of until the last 2-3 years. I never try to 'steal' other people's principles, and make them mine. That's not to say some other guys won't have principles that are similar to mine or vice versa, because many times, men seeking the same goals in the same manner think alike. This thread relates to my first major influence of "Mode One" Behavior, and that was the behavior of "Jack" (John Leslie's character) in the movies, "Talk Dirty To Me," "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II," and "Nothing To Hide." If there was any one factor ... other than my own 'trial and error' experiences ... that influenced many of the principles of "Mode One," it would be Leslie's character of 'Jack' in those adult films. The main thing I took from him when I first saw "Talk Dirty To Me" (in 1981) was that a) there are
many women that will 'pretend' to be 'good girls', but in reality, they really love kinky, casual, promiscuous sex; and b) just because a woman is behaving like she's 'turned off' or 'offended' doesn't mean she really is. There are other layers to the principles and philosophies of Mode One, but that is where it more or less started. P.S. If you go to the United State copyright website, you will see that I first copyrighted my pamphlet in 1997. Mode One is not really 'new'..... You're trying to utilize what's known as a "rejection buffer" to 'soften the blow' of rejection if it comes your way. You need to be bold and simply say something like, "We need to hook up sometime in the near future so I can be 'naughty' with you .... (pause) ... does next weekend work? Or the weekend after?" Her: "Define 'be naughty with me' ...." You: "Among other things, I want to spread some whipped cream on your tits, stomach, and elsewhere so I can lick it off....." DON'T USE 'REJECTION BUFFERS' WITH WOMEN. That is not MODE ONE. I've said some REAL BOLD stuff to women, and I've never once had a woman raise her hand to slap me. The #1 objective of Mode One Behavior is to get to a point where you literally aren't 'scared' to say anything to a woman. To slowly, but surely, "grow your balls" so to speak. You see, for me personally, once a woman tells me that she's in a relationship (i.e., boyfriend, fiance', husband), 99.9% of the time, I leave the woman alone at that point. The only time I keep talking to a woman who's in a relationship is if she makes it very obvious that she wants to keep the conversation going, and that she's interested. Otherwise, I leave women in relationships alone. "Success" being Mode One is not seducing 80-90% of the women you meet. More than likely, that will never happen. When I'm Mode One with women, the only thing I concentrate on is being Mode One. I don't put too much emphasis on whether or not that particular woman is going to enthusiastically reciprocate my desires, interests, and intentions or not. Her reaction/response is out of my control. When you hook up with a woman is a matter of individual preference. I generally shy away from expressing an interest in hooking up with a woman that particular day, unless she expresses that interest first. But I would never tell men that they couldn't suggest hooking up with that woman that very day. I also agree with you that I don't really "push too hard" for a woman's phone number. A phone number will come to you easy if you enhance a woman's interest in you. Warning though:
You should never really 'evaluate' or critique if your approach was 'Mode One' or not specifically by if you received a positive and/or reciprocal response/reaction from women (or not). I evaluate whether or not my approach was 'Mode One' by my own standards. In other words, even in the instances where I'm rejected by certain women ... I still feel as though I was 'Mode One' in my approach. Example of being rejected, but still being 'Mode One': A few years ago, I approached this attractive young lady in a library study room.... Me: "So ... you and I are hooking up next Friday? or Next Saturday?" Her: "Excuse me?!?" Me: "You're excused. (pause) So ... next Friday or next Saturday?" Her: "I don't even know you!!" Me: "And your point is what...." Her: "I know nothing about you!! Do you approach all women like this??" Me: "Don't concern yourself with my interactions with other women. That's not of concern to you right now. What IS of concern to you is deciding what day to share my company next week ... Friday .. or Saturday..." Her: "Let's say I do decide to 'hook up' with you next week. What would we do? Talk? Go to the movies? Have dinner? What?" Me: "You left out an option..." Her: "What?" Me: "You and I fucking. All of the things you mentioned, I could do that with a 'platonic' female friend. What separates platonic friends from other, more desirable interactions? Fucking. Exchanging orgasms." Her: "Oh my God ... I don't believe you just said that. You are such a JERK. No man with manners would ever say that to a respectable lady...." Me: "So ... does this mean we're not hookin up next week?" Her: "No!! Of course not!!" [Note: At this point, since she was rejecting me, I'm ready to leave ... but guess who tries to continue the conversation? Her] Me (ready to leave): "Okay ... take care ..." Her: "Wait! I want to talk to you some more ..." Me: "Why..." Her: "I want to see what gives you the audacity ... the balls ... to say something like that to me..." Me: "Are we hooking up next week??" Her: "No!! I told you that already!!" Me: "Then this conversation is over...." Her: "Wait!! I have a few more questions for you...." I just walked away. She yelled out "You are such an asshole! You can't even talk to me for a second??" Now. Even though she was the one who rejected me, who left that conversation 'frustrated'?? Her. I was calm when I left that study room. She, on the other hand, was agitated and frustrated. I caught her off guard with my 'Mode One' Behavior, and she couldn't handle it. I bet if I ran into her again, I could've gotten my dick sucked by her, but I never saw her again.
But the main point is: I don't base whether or not I was 'Mode One' on whether or not I 'succeeded' in getting a woman to have sex with me. Even in times when my interests aren't reciprocated. I still feel like my behavior was Mode One. I've had some women who I was 'Mode One' with simply try to engage me in 'small talk' so that they can throw a lot of questions my way in an attempt to 'pick my brain'. I don't like that. It's a waste of time. I'll let a woman 'pick my brain' after she sucks my dick ... but I'm not going to waste time answering her questions if she's not agreeing to share my company one-on-one in the near future. And that's why I left this particular woman alone. The important question is, what did you want to do at that moment??? Kiss her? Take her back to your room and exchange orgasms with her?? What?? You should have done whatever you genuinely wanted to do at that moment. If you engage in a heavy degree of 'small talk,' then that's not really Mode One. I say that in my book. If I engage in 20-30 minutes of entertaining 'small talk' prior to letting my true interests be known, then that is essentially Mode Two Behavior. Not Mode One. I beg to differ with you about not 'qualifying' her. When I say to a woman, "So ... when would you like to share my company ...", right there, I'm identifying .... at minimum ... whether or not she's single. If I tell her I want to hook up with her, and she says, "Sorry ... but I'm married ...", then I know to leave her alone right then and there. Mode One works on any woman who's interested in dating you and/or having sex with you. And, it works on any woman who's not interested in you, but is willing to 'pretend' to be in order to mislead you and manipulate you. I could literally give dozens of stories of instances where my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions were not reciprocated. Most definitely. This is what I tell men constantly: Being 'Mode One' with women is not about getting every woman you're interested in to date you and/or have sex with you. There is no technique, gimmick, or method that even exists that will accomplish such an objective. When I exhibit Mode One Behavior towards women, my objectives are these.... a) To exhibit behavior that is 'boiling over' with self-confidence. Even if I get rejected, I want a woman to be able to say, "Even though I wasn't interested in him ... that guy had to be one of the boldest, most highly self-assured men I've ever been approached by..." b) To make my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions crystal clear specific; I don't want any woman to leave a conversation with me saying to herself, "I couldn't tell what that guy wanted from me ... to date me? have casual sex with me? to be his new platonic friend? what?" c) To let women know that their criticisms of me, insults of me, or negative reactions and responses towards me do not in any way diminish, or negatively affect, my sense of confidence and selfassurance.
and finally, d) To let women know that the only thing I'm willing to exchange for their companionship is my companionship. I'm not going to flatter their egos in order to gain their interest ... I'm not going to offer to 'wine & dine' them in order to gain their interest ... and I'm not going to change or modify my behavior simply for the sake of pleasing them, impressing them, and/or accommodating them. Whether or not I get 'rejected' for me is trivial. That is secondary. I care more about behaving in the manner that I truly want to, and expressing myself verbally in the manner that I choose to more than I care about receiving a 'positive' and/or 'reciprocal' response from women. Dude ... are you out of your mind?? Have you read my book?? If you have my book, you need to re-read pages 148 and 149. "me: I like it how the sunshines are lightly touching your sexy body..it makes me horny" What is the purpose of this comment? To let a woman know that her body makes you horny and sexually aroused?? So what. What if that woman was married, and her husband was ten feet away with a gun? You didn't qualify her at all. To answer your question ... the worst thing you could have done is become more persistent with her. You need to learn the difference between rejection and resistance. That woman was rejecting you ... not resisting you. Rejection: Me: "So ... what day in the next 2-3 weeks are we going to share each other's company one-on-one ..." Her: "What?!? I don't even know you. Please leave me alone ... I am not interested in continuing this conversation..." Me: (I say nothing ... I just walk away...) Resistance: Me: "So ... what day in the next 2-3 weeks are we going to share each other's company one-on-one ..." Her: "What?!? I don't even know you!!" Me: "So..." Her: "Do you always approach women this way??" Me: "Don't worry about how I approach other women ... just worry about letting me know what day in the next 2-3 weeks we're going to hook up ... next Friday? next Saturday? The weekend after that?" Her: "And just why would I want to share your company...." Me (being X-rated): "Among other reasons, so I can slide my hard dick in your tight wet pussy...." Her: "Oh my God!! I don't believe you said that!!! You are too wild!!!" Me (smirking): "You have no idea...." :::conversation continues::: You see the difference? If a woman expresses to me total disinterest, 99.9% of the time, I leave her alone. Immediately. But if a woman just starts making comments and/or criticisms of the manner in which I'm expressing myself ... then yes ... I will become more persistent.
I never aggressively pursue women with boyfriends, fiances', or husbands. That's just asking for trouble. But if that's your thing, my recommendation would be for you to wait for women to throw hints to you that they wouldn't mind hooking up with you despite having a boyfriend. Your 2nd approach was not as bad as your first approach, but personally ... I would have left her alone as soon as she said she had a boyfriend. But that's just me. But I didn't like your first approach at all. Qualifying a woman is important, especially if you're looking for specific characteristics (e.g., does she exercise? Does she live nearby? Does she work? Is she college educated? etc). I don't consider "qualifying conversation" to be representative of "small talk." Finding out more about a woman is always a good thing. "Small talk" is when you're just basically "talking to be talking." Talking for the purpose of passing the time, making a woman feel comfortable, and/or flattering a woman's ego. Does anyone here watch Entourage on HBO?? If so, did you see Episode #37?? "Amanda" (Carla Gugina as Vincent Chase's Talent Agent) exhibits Mode One Behavior while driving her car on the phone with Vincent. So, whenever a woman asks you, "How does a woman be 'Mode One'?," just refer her to this episode.... Vincent (on the phone): "Hello...." Amanda (Vince's Talent Agent): "Vince ... do you think I'm hot ...." Vincent (startled): "(pause) What?? ..." Amanda: "Well, you said I'm 'cute,' right ... and ... by 'cute' did you mean I'm 'hot' and you wanna fuck me ..." Vincent (a bit caught off guard): "I don't know how exactly I should respond to that..." Amanda: "Well you had no problem telling me I'm 'cute' in the middle of our business meeting ... so why don't you skip the 'politeness' thing right now and just tell me .... that you wanna fuck me ..." Vincent (a bit dumbfounded): "No ... " Amanda (shocked): "No?!?" Vincent: "Well .... uhm ... I mean yeah ... (quick pause) ... uhm ... I don't know ... maybe?" Amanda: "I hate sexual tension. It always leads to confusion." Vincent: "I couldn't agree more..." Amanda: "Well good ... then lets get it out of the way..." Vincent: "How..." Amanda: "By fucking each other's brains out ... and never talking about it again ... so we can then move on to a successful and professional agent-client relationship ... sound good?" Vincent: "To me it does ... yeah ...." Amanda: "Great ... see you in twenty [minutes]" Vincent (blown away by what just transpired on the phone): "(pause) Okay..." Vincent hangs up his cell phone. (Note: At least 2/3 of the cast knows about "Mode One" ... I met most of the cast members, and the show's creator at last summer's Season 3 Premiere Party in Hollywood, CA in June 2006) I just told a couple of posters via private message: Never ask a woman for her "permission" to be straightforwardly honest. One of my closest friends used to have that problem when he first started exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Instead of just being bold and straightforwardly honest, he would preface his comments with questions such as , "Do you mind if I tell you something that will
probably make you blush?" and other prefaces like that. That is what I call a "rejection buffer" and/or "harsh criticism buffer." Just say what you want to say in the manner that you want to say it in and let the women's results & responses take care of themselves. I agree that women will do damn near anything to avoid being perceived as a "whore" or a "slut." That much is for sure. That fear guides their [sexual] behavior probably more than anything. But don't discount the idea of women being manipulative. Do you know one of the main reasons why women don't like porno movies (or at least, say they don't)?? Because women don't like to see other women giving up the pussy for free. You see, most men have been conditioned to "freely" give up the dick. I think most men on here will agree, men ... as a whole, generally speaking ... do not treat their sexual companionship with any "value." Women, on the other hand, very much place "value" on their pussies, and their sexual companionship. They believe ... either consciously or subconsciously ... that men should "do something" (e.g., "wine & dine" them, flatter them, fawn over them, jump through hoops, etc) in order to 'earn' their sexual companionship. When you're Mode One, you're basically saying to a woman (unconsciously), "I'm not willing to do JACK SHIT in order to fuck you. The only thing I'm going to offer you in exchange for your sexual companionship is my sexual companionship." That is something that both frustrates them and intrigues them simultaneously. Like John Leslie as "Jack" in "Talk Dirty To Me" when he said, "I bet a lot of guys would pay big bucks to get in your pants huh ... (pause) ... well, I wouldn't pay you shit ..." Bam! Right there, he let her know: I'm not willing to do anything 'extra' to get in your pants. That goes against women's social conditioning. Women are basically given the message that a man is supposed to flatter you, spend money on you, treat you nice, and at bare minimum, sacrifice pursuing other women, in exchange for getting sex from you. And it's bullshit. So that's why women will "act" as though they are 'reluctant' to give in to your sexual desires too quickly. When they are resisting you, it's like they're saying to you subconsciously, "Are you sure you're not going to offer me some sort of 'reward' or 'incentive' to have sex with you?? I can't believe it! You're not going to change or modify your behavior at all in order to please me, flatter me, or accommodate me?? Why you bastard!! You just expect me to give you the pussy ... for free?!?" YES. Read my opening quote for Chapter Six in my book. Deep-down, many women want to be promiscuous ... particularly in their young years (teens, 20s, early 30s). So there are women out there who are definitely 'envious' of other women having more sexual fun than them. But referring to my previous post, most women who are manipulative, pretentious, prudish, and materialistic tend to feel like men should "offer them something" for their sexual companionship. Money/Financial favors, flattery, quality time, gifts, employment favors ... SOMETHING.
I don't think you can ever express your true interests to a woman "too soon." There is a difference between trying to have sex too soon, and letting a woman know you want to have sex with her immediately. The former I think sometimes can be a "bad" thing, but the latter ... no. Not at all. If you hold off on expressing your interests to women, you're essentially in favor of Mode Two Behavior. Being Mode Two with women is not too bad of a form of behavior ... especially if you're looking for a long-term, serious relationship with a woman ... but the primary weakness with Mode Two is that if you end up interacting with a highly skilled manipulator, you're going to get played. And you won't realize it until after you've already been played. I've said this before: You cannot start off 'hiding' your true interests, and then "go" Mode One. That's not Mode One. That is Mode Two. That's why I call Mode Two guys "The Pleasant Postponers." They tend to delay, or postpone, expressing their true interests to women. The upside of Mode Two: - You will not receive as many harsh responses or reactions from women - Your behavior will not be criticized too much - Women will "like" you more, even if they never date you or have sex with you - Women will say "good things" about you to their girlfriends and other associates The downside of Mode Two: - You will typically end up spending much more time and/or money pursuing women's attention and companionship - It will be harder for you to identify the women who are genuinely interested in you versus the women who are pretending to be interested in you - Women who are kinky/promiscuous, but are pretending to be innocent, wholesome "good girls" will have no motivation to reveal to you their real sexuality - Anytime you fail to get the exact response/reaction you want from a woman, or you feel you've been undeservingly criticized, you're going to inevitably feel angry, frustrated, and/or bitter Trust me on this. Again, it's sounding more and more like you favor Mode Two Behavior over Mode One. And I'm not going to 'down you' for that. Mode One is not for everyone. My older brother says that all of the time. Not all men are cut out to exhibit Mode One Behavior. You cannot really "turn off" a woman who is interested in you. You can make a woman who is interested in you 'angry' or 'frustrated' to the point where she is suppressing and/or hiding her interest in you, but it doesn't just "vanish." Bottom line: I agree that many men can be guilty of "rushing" a woman into sex too quickly, but I don't think you can ever let a woman know you want to have sex with her "too quickly." I disagree with that totally. I can name times where I met women, and let them know I wanted to fuck them on the first day I met them, but we didn't actually have sex until 2, 3 or 4+ weeks later. I rarely try to 'rush' women into having sex, but I never hold back on expressing my interests. Because again, that wouldn't be Mode One ... that is Mode Two. I wouldn't rush into a monogamous relationship with her. I would start her off as a "fuck buddy."
Since I don't know her, or her body language, I can't really validly encourage you, or discourage you, from "manhandling" her. That's your call buddy! I hear guys all of the time say, "I'm scared if I talk about my sexual interests to a woman too quickly and/or too provocatively, that is going to 'turn that woman off' .... so I tend to avoid doing so...." That's bullshit. If a woman is genuinely interested in you, why would she be "turned off" at the idea of having sex with you?!? Plain and simply, I would never want to date a woman, or casually interact with a woman, who becomes "turned off" over the general idea of us having sex with each other. You know why most women behave as though they're 'turned off' by too much sex talk too quickly? Read Chapter Six again. I had a woman in Chicago a few years ago admit this point blank. She said, "Alan ... you know what is frustrating about a man being totally upfront and straightforward about his sexual interests?" I said, "What...." She said, "It takes away all of a woman's 'gameplaying' abilities. You can't manipulate a man when he's straightforward with you about the fact that he wants to fuck you." Even though I already knew this just from my own experiences and observations, it was refreshing to hear a woman acknowledge and confess this. I've only had maybe 4 or 5 women in my life that actually have admitted this. That's the #1 reason why women will act "pissed off" when you're too sexual, too quickly. It's not because sex in general turns them off. It's like this: Anytime you put a [manipulative] woman in a position where she either has to a) fully reciprocate your interest in her, or b ) fully reject/fail to reciprocate your interest in her, that is going to cause her to become angry, frustrated, and bitter towards you. Trust me on this. Manipulative women don't like to have their "hand forced." They like to operate in what's known as "The Ambiguous Zone." That's when a woman can play 'head games' with you, string you along, get favors out of you, and generally influence your behavior. The only women who will EVER get truly "turned off" by too much 'sex talk' are women who are totally not attracted to you ... or women who are only interested in manipulating you or just remaining 'platonic' friends with you. Women who are genuinely interested in you will never get "turned off" by sex talk, unless you're talking about something they perceive as 'gross' (e.g., pissing in their mouth, having sex with their dog, etc). I actually told the young lady in the car that night, "I don't care about anything you're talking about..." (she was blah, blah, blah in serious 'small talk' mode) She said, "Wow. That was blunt. Then what do you care about?" I said, "Fucking you. The only thing on my mind right now is sliding down those tight black leggings of yours, getting you on all fours, and fucking you doggy style...." She (initially) flipped the fuck out. She was like, "Excuse me?!?!?" "I beg your pardon?!?" "Oh my God ... I do not believe you just said that to me!!!" That young lady was the actually the one responsible for me coming up with the Four Modes Of Verbal Communication. Prior to that interaction, I had already exhibited Mode One Behavior ... but I had never 'analyzed' why it worked. I just did it. But when she made the comment, "That is always what I wanted a man to say to me ... but I would
never expect a man to say to me....," then I knew I was on to something. The rest, as they say, is history.... I don't believe in "guru worship," even when the so-called 'guru' being 'worshiped' is me. I very much believe in "mentors," "teachers," and "advisors" though. Your own experiences are great ... but the one downside of relying strictly on personal "trial and error" is that sometimes it takes YEARS to develop the right amount of knowledge and wisdom. Why should I spend five to ten years accumulating wisdom, when someone else has already done that, and condensed his experiences into a book? I love people like Stephen R. Covey and Dr. Susan Jeffers. They provide wisdom that it would've taken me years to accumulate. That's what I strive for with "Mode One" in regard to my readers. I want to hopefully 'save them' from making mistakes that I made over and over and over again. Even Michael Jordan, one of the NBA's greatest basketball players of all-time, said that the key to him becoming such a dominant player was simply "mastering the basic fundamental skills of basketball ... dribbling, shooting, rebounding, blocking out, playing defense. It's all about the basic fundamentals." I always say: Deep-down, all men know exactly what they want to say to women at all times. Realistically, there is really no such thing as "not knowing what to say to a woman." When a man says, "I approached this attractive woman, but I had no idea what to say...," what he's really saying is, "I approached this attractive woman ... and I wanted to tell her how interested I was in having sex with her in the future ... either monogamously or non-monogamously ... but I just didn't have the confidence and courage to do so. I was too afraid of being criticized and/or rejected..." I would almost guarantee you that if you approached any woman, and she said to you, "[insert your first name here], you can ask me anything you want to and/or tell me anything you want to .... I don't care how controversial, provocative, or X-rated it may be ...", you would never be speechless. You would say whatever is really on your mind. Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking. How "easy" it is to attract & seduce women ... versus how "hard" it is to attract & seduce women ... is very subjective and relative. Again, a major contributing factor is your degree of confidence, courage, and straightforward honesty. Here is my general structure / outline of progressing from "approach" to "close": 1) Before I approach any woman of interest, I first determine "Why do I really want to share this woman's company?" one-night stand? weekend fling? indefinite casual sex? "friends with benefits?" long-term, monogamous relationship ending possibly in marriage? [Note: Personally, my first objective is almost always "indefinite casual sex." Depending on how the conversation(s) goes, and how my chemistry with that particular woman develops, I might 'adjust' my interests to a different objective ... but 90% of the time, I usually initially start out with the objective of indefinite non-monogamous sex]
2) Take action and approach the woman 3) Qualify her (i.e., find out if she's single and available, does she live nearby, is she heterosexual or bi-sexual, etc) 4) Express my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to her in the most highly self-assured, upfront, straight-to-the-point manner as possible (Mode One Baby! Make it happen!) 5) Closely observe how she responds to my expression of interest. Read her body language. Ignore subjective criticisms and/or opinionated insults. Is she a 'prude'? Is she a 'kinky freak'? Somewhere in between ("Wholesome Pretender")? 6) Reiterate a day/date/time in the [near] future that I want to share her company one-on-one. If she flat-out rejects me, I leave her alone. If she becomes 'resistant,' then I become more 'persistent.' 7) Finally, force her to either reject me or reciprocate. If she reciprocates, we exchange numbers and conclude the conversation. Again, if she rejects me, I leave her alone and move on to the next desirable woman. I may add things, modify things, or change up things here and there to a minor degree, but generally, this is always my structure for approaching women, conversing with them, and hooking up with them. You will never be able to attract and/or seduce each and every woman you're interested in. That is psychological "Step #1" to improving your success with women. To realize that rejection is inevitable. The more you treat rejection like it's "never supposed to happen," the more you will end up feeling angry, frustrated, and bitter every time that it happens. If every top home-run hitter in baseball preoccupied himself with "not striking out," he would never hit any home runs. Most of my closest friends know ... it literally angers me that men are portrayed in the media (and entertainment) as being "the hornier sex." It's BULLSHIT. Women LOVE TO FUCK. Seriously. They do. The only reason it doesn't seem like it is because.... 1) Women are not as interested in casual sex as most men are. Why? Because women don't like "occasional" and/or "irregular" dick. They like REGULAR, CONSISTENT dick. Hence, their penchant for relationships. 2) Women are raised and socialized to believe that "kinky" sex and/or promiscuous sex will diminish their ability to attract a husband. Therefore, women become very duplicitous in regards to their sexual desires. 3) Society treats sex from a woman like it's a "reward" of some sort for men. Like throwing a biscuit to a fucking dog. Pussy is pussy. Pussy has no more value to a man than dick has to a woman. But men are socialized and brainwashed to BELIEVE that pussy should be aggressively pursued, paid for, and even worshiped. I HATE THIS SHIT.
Men need to treat women like the horny creatures that they are. Who buys more sex toys? Men? Hell no. Women buy vibrators like men buy computer software. Women love to fuck. Plain and simply, when it comes to authors, seminar/workshop hosts, "gurus," dating coaches, and etc., there is good, valuable, worthwhile advice, knowledge, and shared wisdom ... and then there is over-hyped, unsubstantiated, bullshit "techniques" and "gimmicks." I like to think of "Mode One" in the former rather than the latter. The #1 "red flag" you can usually tell if something is invalid bullshit, is if the author/guru/advice giver is leading you to believe that if you follow their advice, and use their methods, you will "never, ever" experience rejection, criticism, or negative reactions/responses from women. I never recommend any book or set of materials that make such a claim. There is NO "METHOD" or "TECHNIQUE" of approaching and conversing with women that will "never" end in rejection. IT DOESN'T EXIST. And anyone who's read "Mode One" knows that I say that upfront. All men will be rejected by some women. I don't care how handsome they are, how charming they are, how nice the car is they drive, or how big their dick is. All men get rejected. Same with criticism. All men who act the way they truly want to act get criticized by women. Actually, I sort of like being criticized by women. That usually means that a woman wants to control me and/or influence my behavior, and she's egotistically frustrated that she can't. The main thing "Mode One" is about is these 3 - 4 things: 1) Teaching men how to overcome their fear of approaching women, and their fear of being able to handle rejection 2) Similar to #1, teaching men that rejection is NO BIG DEAL, and that rejection is usually "winwin" 3) Teaching men that women are not these "innocent, wholesome, virtuous 'good girls'" that most men think they are. Women are just as kinky, and just as horny for sex as most men are 4) Along the lines of my last paragraph above, teaching men that subjective criticisms are underrated and flattering compliments are overrated. I've had more [casual] sex with women who initially CRITICIZED various aspects of my behavior than I have women who did nothing but compliment my behavior. The thing you have to realize is that when men put phrases such as "If you read my book, you will NEVER, EVER experience rejection again!!" on their websites, they're not trying to help you seduce women .... ... they're trying to seduce YOU into buying their book/CD/DVD. here are my general thoughts on approaching women: Direct Methods of approaching women: When you basically approach a woman, and within a
matter of minutes, you let her know why you approached her, and why you want to share her company in the future. Indirect Methods of approaching women: When you approach a woman, get her to feel more "comfortable" and "at ease" in your presence, and for the most part, avoid being too specific and/or too straightforward about why you want to share her company in the near future; You emphasize psychological "tricks," games, gimmicks, or manipulative ploys (to one degree or another) in order to get a woman intrigued about spending time with you in a romantic and/or sexual manner. Mode One Behavior: A form of behavior that falls under the "Direct Method" school of thought/philosophy that primarily centers on significantly diminishing your degree of flattery and small talk in conversations with women; Also, a high degree of emphasis is placed on eliminating your fear of rejection and/or your fear of subjective criticisms or "negative reactions" from women. Mode Two Behavior: Basically, a variation of the "Indirect Method" of approaching women; Compared to Mode One Behavior, your conversational style includes more flattery, more small talk, and the idea of presenting yourself as a "well-mannered gentleman" or "nice guy"; You tend to express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions in a vague, ambiguous, "beataround-the-bush" type manner Mode Three Behavior: This is when you either a) don't approach women at all, for fear of rejection, or b ) you approach women, but immediately try to 'pretend' as though you're not looking to date them or have sex with them. You basically talk to women just for the hell of it, or to try to "impress" them with your accomplishments, career success and/or material possessions. Mode Four Behavior: When you've previously exhibited Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, and because of your disappointments and rejections, you become bitter, angry, frustrated, and misogynistic towards women; Your main reason for talking to women is to be rude to them, insult them, and make them feel like shit. The only thing that makes your criticism(s) invalid, is that not everyone feels that way. If 90% of the people who read my book felt that way, then I would say, "You know ... I hear that a lot." But honestly, I don't. Only about maybe 5-10% of the people who've read "Mode One" felt that it was "repetitive" and/or "redundant." But in my defense, most teachers, coaches, bosses, advisors, mentors, and motivational/self-help authors tend to "repeat" themselves to one degree or another. When I played sports, my coaches always told us the same things OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again. The ironic thing about this criticism?? My first version of "Mode One" (in 1995, 1996) was a 30-35 page "pamphlet," and the #1 criticism I received from friends, acquaintances, and readers was that it was TOO SHORT. Go figure. If I was to REALLY be brief, my book would be along the lines of what Art Vandalay said. It would be about 7 or 8 pages (such as pages 137 - 143). Look at the Bible. You could conceivably condense the Bible down to simply "The Ten Commandments." Bottom line: I'd bet you 90% chance that if I had shortened the book, many of my readers would
say, "I wish it was longer." I already have people who tell me that they wish Chapter Eight (the chapter on Mode One Behavior) was longer. Top Five "long-term" effects of exhibiting Mode One Behavior: (based on my own experiences, and the experiences of many men I talked to about it) 5) You tend bring out a woman's "kinky" side quicker, and get women who 'normally' don't indulge in casual sex to indulge in casual sex (see my new Ebook, "HARDCORE") 4) You're able to identify "time wasters" (i.e., women who are not interested in you, but who are 'pretending' to be in order to mislead you, manipulate you, and/or get 'favors' out of you) much quicker and more effectively. When you're consistently Mode One with women over a long period of time, you rarely find yourself talking on the phone with time-waster types, or taking those sort of women out to dinner and a movie 3) You tend to very frequently have women initially express a lack of interest in you, but then days later, weeks later, and/or months later, those same women end up dating you or giving you the pussy. I rarely, if ever experienced that with Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior, and most of the men I know said the same thing. 2) You tend to realize that most of women's [subjective] criticisms towards you and opinionated insults towards you are bullshit. You don't really become negatively affected by them anymore. If subjective criticisms and opinionated insults from women are "bullets," then Mode One Behavior becomes a "bullet-proof vest." 1) Rejection doesn't really faze you anymore. You rarely avoid, or hesitate to approach a woman for fear of being rejected. You conversational behavior tends to be much more frank, candid, forthright and naturally direct and to-the-point. Most men make approaching women, and expressing their interests to women way more complicated than it needs to be. It's really as simple as that. That's over half of the reason why I wrote Mode One. The most success I've ever had with women .... both romantically, and especially for casual sex, is when I kept my comments simple, to-the-point, and either allowed the woman to reciprocate my interests or reject my interests. Men always ask me about Mode One Principle #4 on pages 139-140. Well, two women I spoke with today from a Speakers Bureau (both attractive and sexy) confirmed why that principle is so valid. I call it "presenting yourself like you have 'options'." Some in the Seduction Community refer to it as "Social Proof." Whatever you call it, women are generally more attracted to men who treat them with a "I want your attention ... but I don't need it ..." attitude. One woman: "One of the reasons I'm not really attracted to the 'nice guy' type is because usually they're desperate for my attention and affection. I'm more attracted to men who make me feel like I have to 'compete' for their attention." Second woman: "I agree. The mistake most 'nice guys' make (Mode Two men!) is that they 'try too hard.' That lets a woman know that you don't have any other women in your 'stable.' That's sort of a turn-off. I like men who I feel already have one or two other women chasing them. Like, if I
pissed them off, they would drop me in a second because they already have other options (for romantic and/or sexual companionship). Some women call those sort of guys 'jerks' because they're 'players,' but the reality is, it's more exciting to be with a guy like that. I don't like being with a guy that makes me feel like I'm his first date or first girlfriend in months or years." There you have it. More evidence of the validity of Mode One Principle #4.... I've said it a million times on here: I don't look at rejection as "failure." Never. That's where I probably differ from 75% - 90% of the book authors, dating coaches, and "seduction gurus" out there. I never look at rejection as some sort of "bad" thing or "negative" thing. When it comes to approaching women, and conversing with them, the only thing I look at as "failure" is when you FAIL to communicate your romantic and/or sexual desires to a woman in an upfront, straightforward manner because of your fear of rejection and/or your fear of harsh criticisms. Again, rejection itself is always "win-win." I never have, and never will look at rejection by a woman as "failure." Why? Because it is a woman's CHOICE to reject you. I don't look at any reaction or response that is under the control of SOMEONE ELSE as "failure." There was this book I once read that said, "Stop concentrating on GOALS, and concentrate on OBJECTIVES." The book went on to say that objectives are those things you pursue that are totally within your control to accomplish, while goals are those things you pursue that are co-dependent on favorable circumstances and/or the cooperation of others (example: An objective would be striving to have a great job interview; A goal would be expecting to be hired as a result of that interview). That's how I look at interacting with women. For the millionth time, when I approach women, I don't concentrate on receiving a "favorable," positive, enthusiastic, and/or reciprocal response from them. That doesn't mean I specifically seek out a "negative" or unenthusiastic response either. On a scale from "1" to "5," with "5" representing me exhibiting behavior with the specific focus of receiving a "positive" and/or reciprocal response from a woman ... and "1" representing me exhibiting behavior with the specific focus of receiving a "negative" and/or non-reciprocal response (rejection) from women ... I tend to exhibit behavior that is in the "3.0 - 3.5" range. What I refer to as "egotistical indifference." Approaching a woman, and expressing your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions in a manner which is confident, upfront, straightforwardly honest, and unapologetic is something that is totally UNDER YOUR CONTROL. The only person who can fuck that up is YOU. But trying to get a 'positive' and/or reciprocal response from every woman you approach is an act of futility. That woman could be married, in love, a lesbian, in a bad mood, or just plain and simply thinks you're unattractive. You can't control the latter. If you think differently, you will find yourself exhibiting a variation of Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior for the rest of your life. And consequently, you will find yourself in and out of the "Mode Four Zone" for the rest of your
life as well. As long as you look at rejection itself as some sort of "failure," you will always seek to avoid it. That's not so much opinion as it is fact. Anyone ever play basketball? Coaches always told me ... concentrate on shooting the ball correctly. They didn't say, "Concentrate on hitting the shots." Once the ball leaves your hand(s), it is out of your control. The same with expressing your desires, interests, and intentions to women. Once your interests are expressed, most of what happens from there is out of your control. Speaking of basketball, I was watching a documentary on legendary coach John Wooden. Wooden won ten national championships while coaching the UCLA Bruins (Los Angeles, CA, USA). You know what all of his players said? "Coach Wooden never concentrated on 'winning.' He never even mentioned the term 'winning' in practice." Now, you would think a college basketball coach who won that many games mentioned the idea of winning the game at least once, right? Wrong. Wooden had his players concentrate on playing the game right. Shooting correctly, dribbling correctly, rebounding the ball correctly, playing defense correctly, etc. Wooden felt that if his players mastered the fundamental skills of the game correctly, they would quite naturally win more games than they would lose. That's how I feel about Mode One Behavior. I feel as though if a man consistently expresses his desires and interests to women in a highly self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest, and unapologetic manner, that eventually, he will start seeing the results, responses, and reactions he desires. It may be within the first few days, the first few weeks, the first few months, or for some, maybe after a year or so. But trust me ... the results will come. You just have to concentrate on being Mode One. Not on receiving "positive" and/or reciprocal results. It's like a woman putting more emphasis on getting flattering attention from men than on working out and exercising her body and eating right. January 2006: "Angela" is sexy, built, lean, and athletic. Beautiful. Doesn't concern herself with attention from men. Just on eating right and exercising. She has men practically beating down her door with offers for dates, or men trying their best to seduce her. She has literally over 100+ options for male companionship. June 2006: Angela gets the big head. She has so many guys chasing her that she says, "Fuck it. I don't need to eat right and exercise. All I need to do is wear tight pants and short skirts, and the men will give me attention!!" November 2006: Angela is 40 - 50 lbs. overweight. She's chubby on her way to being obese. She still has 2 or 3 men giving her attention though. They love the way she sucks dick. May 2007: Angela is 75-100 lbs. overweight. She debates between Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. Low-carb or Low-fat. Men are avoiding her. She reads the book, "Skinny Bitch," and hopes to lose weight. She asks her girlfriends, "What outfit do I have to wear to get more attention from men?? My current outfits are not working!" She thinks not getting attention from men is "failure." She goes to "plus-size" women's stores to buy "sexier" outfits. Still no increase in male attention. August 2007: Angela starts "BBW Women Who Are Single & Available", an organization with its
own website for "Big, Beautiful Women" with attractive faces, but overweight bodies. Still, no real attention from men. Angela dropped the ball when she stopped working out and eating right. She went from being ACTION-focused (i.e., exercising, eating right) to being RESPONSE/RESULTS-focused (i.e., enjoying the egotistical pleasures of soaking up flattering attention from men) How many "Angelas" do you know? I know too many to count.... I love simply planting the seed of my desires, interests, and intentions in a woman's conscious and/or subconscious mind. Once you firmly let a woman know what you want from her, it "sticks" in her mind. Put a seed in a garden. For the first few days, you might not notice anything at all. Days later ... weeks later ... months later .... Fear is created by the strong assumption that if you continue towards an activity (e.g., approaching a woman), you are going to inevitably experience harsh consequences and/or painful results, and therefore your mind (and particularly, your subconscious mind) prevents you from moving towards that goal, objective, or activity. The #1 way I overcame my fear of rejection with women was to realize that rejection by a woman is not something that is totally within my control. I might be able to use some degree of influence in order to prevent a woman from rejecting me, but I cannot totally "prevent" a woman from rejecting me. I don't even TRY to prevent women from rejecting me when I'm Mode One. When I approach a woman, my emphasis is on my own behavior and whether or not I'm communicating my romantic and/or sexual desires to women in a self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest manner. I let the results of my behavior take care of themself. My attitude is, if a woman fails to reciprocate my desires and interests, that is her choice to do so. Same with harsh criticisms and/or opinionated insults. It is a woman's choice to criticize you. You have no control over that. You need to just concentrate on how do you want to approach women? Even if a woman rejects you, what do you want her to tell her girlfriends about how you approached her? I think this will have you on your way to diminishing the negative effects of your fear.... Why do you need validation so badly? Why are you so desperate for pussy and/or female companionship in general? What about "indirect" methods of attraction and/or seduction do you find more valid and/or more effective than "direct" philosophies towards attraction and seduction?? Why do you feel so lonely romantically and/or sexually?
I need to know the answers to these questions.... By your own acknowledgment, you have more or less a "desperation" for female companionship. That is antithetical to the principles of Mode One. You cannot be Mode One consistently with women if you are "desperate" for a woman's romantic and/or sexual companionship. So that my friend is ... at minimum ... problem #1 with you. Without giving a long, drawn out psycho-analysis of other aspects of your behavioral problems, you are just generally too "results" focused. Mode One is about being ACTION-focused .... not RESULTS-focused. You'll never have 100% control over how a woman responds to you or reacts to you. You can exhibit behavior that influences her behavior, but you'll never be able to control a woman's behavior. The only aspects of a male-female interaction that you have TOTAL CONTROL over is .... 1) How you choose to behave towards women ... and 2) How you choose to allow women to behave towards you. That, in a nutshell, my friend is the core essence of Mode One Behavior. So, as I already alluded to ..... enough said. Mode One Behavior is not at all exclusively for men who are already married, engaged, and/or in a serious relationship. I've been totally single and unattached many times, and had Mode One Behavior benefit me just fine. Do you like to give money to panhandlers and homeless people? Most people don't. Why? Among other reasons, they're perceived as being desperate for money ... and having no promising future. People will give you money when you look like you really don't need it, and you have a bright future ahead of you. Same with women and pussy. You present yourself as "lonely" and "desperate," and women get turned off. They think something is wrong with you (e.g., you're not good in bed, your personality is boring, you're broke and/or unemployed, etc). You have to always present yourself with the underlying attitude of, "I want to fuck you, but I don't need to fuck you." There really is no fear of "approaching women." That, my friend, is a misnomer. If a friend of yours guaranteed you that you would always receive a positive, flattering, reciprocal response from every woman you approached, you would never hesitate to approach ANY woman. So, it's not really the approach itself that is the cause of fear, but rather how you perceive and anticipate that particular woman responding to you and reacting to you that causes the "fear."
Any man who frequently hesitates to approach women has either a conscious or subconscious belief that he is more likely to receive a 'less-than-desirable' response or reaction from women than a highly desirable response or reaction from women. Re-read pages 146-148 in my book. That's the challenge of Mode One Behavior. You will always receive more criticisms, and experience more rejections, when you exhibit Mode One Behavior. I say that in my book. Look at it this way: Let's say I put you in a room with 100 women. At least five (5), and no more than ten (10) of those women have a check with your name on it for an amount of $5,000 USD to $15,000 USD. All you have to do is go up to all one-hundred women and say, "I believe you have something to give me that will make me smile. If you don't mind, I don't feel like waiting for it. I want it ... and I want it now." Now, 90-95 of the women in this room will not know what the hell you're talking about. And you can't offer them any explanations. Would care about being rejected?? Criticized?? I actually talked about a technique very, very, very similar to this, with the only primary difference being that I didn't emphasize the idea of not moving your head at all. I have men ask me all of the time, "Alan ... why do you have a pair of eyes on the cover of your book?" (Those are my eyes by the way ... from a 1990 headshot of mine during my acting days) I first learned a very similar technique back in Spring/Summer of 1988. I talked about it a few times on AskMen. This guy I used to work with .... I think his name was "Anthony" ... used to do this practically all of the time when we worked together in Downtown Chicago. This guy was pretty much "average looking," with an 'average' physique, and no job, high salary, or expensive car to brag about. He looked sort of like Eddie Murphy and/or the late Howard Rollins ("In The Heat Of The Night" TV Show). But yet, this guy had probably 2/3 - 3/4 of the most attractive and sexiest of my single female coworkers always competing with each other for this guy's attention. At the risk of sounding conceited, I used to think to myself, "I'm more handsome and athletic-looking than this guy ... why am I not getting as much attention from my female co-workers as him??" So one day, I pull him aside, and I say "Dude ... what is your secret?? How do you get so many women to 'jock' you the way you do??" He smiled, and at first said, "Oh ... it's nothing." He was feigning modesty. He finally went on to give me two "tips" .... 1) He emphasized the importance of direct eye-contact with women. He called that the most important non-verbal form of communication; 2) He was one of the ones that highly emphasized the importance of diminishing "trivial small talk." He actually told me that he felt that was one of my weaknesses with many of my female co-
workers. He said, "Dawg ... I gotta be honest. You engage in way too much 'entertaining small talk' with women. Small talk lands you in the 'friend zone', and it causes you to waste time. If you notice, I hardly ever engage in small talk here (at work)." Actually, that was an understatement. 95% of the time, this dude didn't say JACK SHIT to women. I mean, when our female co-workers would say, "Good morning Anthony ... how are you today?," he would literally just look at them. He would look them directly in their eyes, casually smirk, and then just keep on walking. Some women would say, "He is so fucking arrogant ... he thinks he's the shit ...," but the reality was, probably at leat 40-50% of my single female co-workers wanted to give him some pussy. Anyways .... bottom line ... I do this with women most of the time anyway. The only difference, again, is about the "never move your head" thing. I rarely will turn fully around to look at a woman, but I will turn my head somewhat if a woman is standing or walking in front of me. But generally speaking, I will back up this "technique." Direct Eye Contact + Little or no 'small talk' = a powerful presence around women. Mode One Behavior is not really an "attraction technique" and/or a "seduction method." It is simply a belief system and/or philosophy for a more effective means of Interpersonal Communication with women. Mode One, as gigolo alluded to, is about increasing the size of a man's BALLS (figuratively speaking of course) so that he becomes totally indifferent towards the idea of being rejected by women, or receiving "negative reactions" and/or harsh criticisms from women. Because, if you truly analyze most "indirect" methods, the vast majority of them primarily center on a) preventing and/or avoiding rejection at all costs, and/or b ) preventing and/or avoiding "negative reactions," harsh criticisms, and personal insults from women at all costs. My attitude is basically, the latter is more so the CAUSE of most men's problems rather than the solution. I believe the more you go out of your way to try to "prevent" rejection or "avoid" it, your level of self-confidence and courage begins to slowly but surely diminish. Then, you start trying to "trick" women into liking you and manipulating them into dating you and/or having [casual] sex with you. Not a good thing in my book. Out of the three you listed thornspawn, I most disagree with your point #2. For the most part, you are at least 80-90% correct in your assessment of #1 and #3. Mode One is not really geared towards making a woman who is not interested in you all of the sudden become interested in you. I even say as much on page 3 of my book, so I don't mislead any of my readers. Mode One is primarily geared towards two groups of women: 1) Women who are interested in you, but are trying to [temporarily] "pretend" as though they are not ... mainly because they simply don't want to give you the egotistical satisfaction of knowing that they're interested in you ... or ... they're simply afraid to let you know for fear of rejection ... or some aspect of your behavior "frustrates" them;
2) Women who are NOT interested in you, but who are trying to [temporarily] give you the misleading impression that they are in order to try to 'use' you, manipulate you, and/or take advantage of you in some sort of way; If I had to add on a third group, it would be "Wholesome Pretender" types. That was actually the #1 reason, back in the mid-to-late 80s, why I first started using Mode One. To identify women who were trying to "pretend" as though they were "innocent, wholesome, semi-prudish 'good girls'," when in actuality, they were kinky, semi-promiscuous freaks who love to engage in at least occasional episodes of casual sex. In reference to point #3, it depends on which of the other modes you're comparing Mode One Behavior to. I think when you compare the effectiveness of Mode One to Mode Three Behavior, you will typically notice an increase in the number of women who are willing to date you and/or have casual sex with you. On the other hand, when you compare the effectiveness of Mode One to Mode Two, it tends to be more so about eliminating the number of women who are NOT interested in you. It's hard to identify the "time wasters" and "manipulators" when you're Mode Two. As far as your Point #2, I totally disagree with that. But in your defense, I've had a few guys who THINK that is true. I had at least one of my reviewers on Amazon.com suggest the same thing. The only thing I can tell you is, I've seen men I know who are "average-looking" or "less-than-average" looking use Mode One Behavior to their benefit. The only type of guys I would say that Mode One will probably never benefit are those guys who are just profoundly sensitive to harsh, subjective criticisms and insults by women. If you're the type of guy that always wants women to respond to you in a "pleasant" manner and/or a complimentary and polite manner, then you're not ready for Mode One. You have to have thick skin, and be able to easily ignore and/or deflect criticisms and negative reactions in order to be Mode One consistently. That doesn't happen "overnight." Sometimes, that literally takes months, if not a year or two. That's why I say Mode One is not a "quick fix" technique for most men. I was just telling a friend, "Most guys who read my book are either on one end of the stick, or the other. They either totally get it, or they don't really get it at all. Very few who are dead inbetween." gigololove is one of those who totally gets it. What a damn good reply. Great, great feedback. I wish all men who read my book "got it" like you do. Maybe my book does not allow men to "get it" as well as reading some of my posts on this message board. Maybe. I hope not though. Women are intrigued by men who are 'average looking' or 'less-than-average looking' who are not rich or famous, but carry themselves with a boatload of self-confidence and indifference.... When I used to consistently exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior towards women, I was always 'scared' of receiving harsh criticisms, negative reactions, or rejection from women. I literally hated it. When I started exhibiting Mode One Behavior, I almost found myself looking forward to women responding to me in a somewhat "adverse" manner. I enjoyed it. Because similar to what your father said, I've actually seduced MORE WOMEN who initially responded to me in a "negative" manner than I have those who were immediately polite, friendly, and lighthearted towards me. I'm at a point now where I look at some degree of criticism from women as a "good thing." I don't like talking to
women who do nothing but compliment and flatter my behavior. That usually means that 95-99.9% chance, she's never going to sleep with me. This is Alan. Alan Currie. I am the author of "Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking" I don't have time right now to express all of the comments I want to, but real briefly.... 1) Thank you Robert for giving my book four out of five stars; Much appreciated. 2) I respect other people's opinions, regardless of whether I totally agree with them or not, so feel free to express opinions and/or criticisms of my book, if that is your desire. 3) I personally don't believe you can really "create" interest in a woman. Others may believe that, but I personally don't. What I believe in, is that you can EXPOSE and/or REVEAL interest in a woman, but I don't really believe you can "create" it. I think romantic and/or sexual interest is either ALREADY PRESENT in a woman's conscious and/or subconscious mind, or it is not. 4) For me, the difference between "manipulation" and "persuasion" comes down to these factors: i) Are you being TOTALLY STRAIGHTFORWARD about your ultimate intentions (e.g., "It is my intention to eventually have casual sex with you...."); If you are in any way HIDING and/or CAMOUFLAGING your true desires, interests, and intentions, then you are being MANIPULATIVE rather than PERSUASIVE. ii) Are you offering any sort of tangible, or intangible, INCENTIVE and/or REWARD in exchange for getting the response you want? For example, are you "wining & dining" a woman in order to get her to have sex with you? That's not persuasion. That is manipulation. Same with expressing excessive flattery to women, or allowing yourself to engage in entertaining, but non-purposeful "small talk" and "chit chat" with women. I learned in sales a while back that "persuasion" is when you do a good job of convincing someone that they will benefit from buying whatever it is you're offering, so to speak. For example, if you're able to convince a woman that she will experience a high degree of orgasmic pleasure as a result of having sex with you, and as a result, she says, "Okay! I will surely have sex with you then!!" That would be representative of PERSUASION. You persuaded her to have sex with you by highlighting the benefits of what the sexual experience with you will offer. Manipulation, again, is quite different. Many men try to get women to have sex with them by PRETENDING that "sex is the last thing on their mind." That is deceitful, and MANIPULATIVE. This is what I discourage in my book. I will tell you .... straightforward [sexual] honesty is "addicting." Seriously. Even when a woman fails to reciprocate my erotic desires and interests, I feel a great sense of satisfaction just from letting a woman KNOW I want to fuck them in a highly self-assured, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner. And I will come close to guaranteeing you this Fear1982: At least a small percentage of those women who initially reject you ... or respond to you in an 'adverse' manner? They're going to seek out your attention and companionship again at some point in the future. I would put a "99%" guarantee on that. Just about every guy I know who expressed their sexual desires to women in a Mode One manner has experienced this.
I had this happen just earlier this Spring. I met a woman who worked at GNC (General Nutrition Center), and I straight-up told her ... "At some point in the near future, you and I are going to end up fucking..." Her (at the time): "(giggles) If you say so." Me: "I know so." Her: "Very, very, very doubtful. I don't see that ever happening. But ... you can choose to believe what you want to...." Gave her my business card, and left her alone. Who calls me up about 7 or 8 weeks later? You guessed it. (Haven't fucked her yet, because I've been too busy, but she's already indicated to me that the pussy is there for the taking) I recently told a woman who works in the local library ... "I can't wait to fuck you doggy style..." She was like, "In your dreams! That will never, ever happen!!" Who has sent me 1 or 2 Email messages per night, almost every other night, for the last two weeks?? This same woman. Ms. "Never, Ever." I'm like, "Why do you keep writing me? Only write me when you're ready for me to fuck you." She's like, "You are so frustrating!!" Translation: "I'm frustrated because you won't act the way I want you to, but I still want to give you the pussy because you have me so intrigued." Women get intrigued (and frustrated) when you tell them straight-up that you want to fuck them. Why? Because you let them know "I'm not willing to play 'the game' with you..." Women are used to men playing the "wine & dine" game, the "I want to flatter your ego" game, and the "I will exhibit behavior that is pleasing and accommodating to you" game. When you refuse to play that game ... women are forced to either a) give you the pussy or b ) not give you the pussy. Most women ... and particularly 'manipulative' women ... don't like that. They actually HATE THAT. I had a woman in Chicago admit that to me not too long ago. She said, "Alan, I hate men like you..." I said, "Why...." She said, "You're too straightforward with your sexual intentions. I don't like that. It prevents me from .... (pause) ..." I said, "go ahead ... say it ...." Her: "Well, it prevents me from having my way. I like to sort of 'tease' a guy, and string him along if I want to. You know, toy with him a bit. When a man is totally straightforward, you can't do that." I said, "Exactly." When a woman smiles at me, I will very quickly say, "So ... we're hooking up next Friday, or a week from Friday ..." I'm all about the [near future] hook-up. If a woman is not expressing an interest in sharing my company one-on-one within the next 2-3 weeks ... my conversation with her is over. Keep up the Mode One Behavior.... The key is to always express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a manner that is.... 1) Self-assured 2) Upfront 3) Specific and 4) Straightforwardly Honest Key "X-factor": Never, ever allow a woman to make you feel "apologetic" and/or "defensive" for expressing to her that you want to fuck her (monogamously or non-monogamously). If she doesn't want some of your dick ... that is her choice. That simple. That is Mode One, in a nutshell. The only way you can be asked to leave a store by a security guard or employee is....
1) You physically touched a woman without her permission / groped her; 2) You exposed yourself (pulled out your cock); 3) You were perceived as "harrassing" a woman (i.e., she asked you to leave her alone, and you kept talking to her); Other than those three general scenarios, there is no way they can ask you to leave, even if you said something "X-rated." The key is: Never start out talking about fucking, unless you're 95-99% sure that the woman is not going to get all "theatrical" with you. I wait for women to ask me what my desires, interests, and intentions are before I bring up sex. Example of bringing up sex "too quick": You (approaching the woman): "You are damn sexy ... (pause) ... I want to hook up with you this weekend and fuck you ...." Her (getting theatrical and loud): "What did you say?!? I am a married woman!!! How dare you speak to me that way!!!! I'm going for security...." Example of bringing up sex appropriately: You (approaching the woman): "I'm envious of your boyfriend ..." Her (giggles): "Well ... why is that ...." You: "because you're damn sexy ..." Her (startled a bit): "I don't have a boyfriend actually ..." You: "Next weekend. You and I. You will thoroughly enjoy my company ..." Her: "Wow. You just come right to the point, don't you?" You: "Is there any reason why I shouldn't? I'm attracted to you. Period. So ... let's hook up either next Friday or next Saturday ...." Her: "Sounds interesting. Get together and do what ..." You (highly self-assured, unflinching): "Among other things ... explore each other's erotic tastes and desires ... exchange orgasms ...." Her (stunned): "Oh my God ... I don't believe you just said that! You are BOLD. So ... you want to have sex with me?!?" You (unapologetic): "Yes. What other reason does a man approach a woman who he is physically attracted to? To invite her to show him how she eats her food? I can watch my sister eat food. I want to make you cum ..." Her (giggles): "Okay. I'm intrigued. But first ... tell me your name. I don't sleep with guys when I
don't know their name...." See the difference? You want to wait until a woman specifically asks you why you want to share her company. Then, if she was to have a very 'adverse' reaction, you would have a defense. "Well Mr. Security Guard ... she asked me why I wanted to spend time with her, and I told her. What is wrong about that??" Security Guard (to the woman): "True point mam. I can't throw this guy out for letting you know he wants to have sex with you. That is not against the law, or against our store policies...." That is why I'm all about being upfront and straightforward with my [sexual] desires, interests, and intentions. I absolutely cannot stand to waste time (or money) pursuing a woman's attention and companionship if she's not genuinely interested in dating me or having [casual] sex with me. Like you, I used to think if I made a woman smile, laugh, or talk to me for a half-hour, hour, or longer, that I was "getting somewhere" with her. WRONG. Entertaining conversation (a.k.a. "small talk") is so overrated, it is ridiculous. I rarely, if ever, hit on co-workers, employees, or business colleagues. Too much risk (of sexual harassment charges if things go sour). Anytime I've been rejected by a woman I have to see again on a regular or semi-regular basis, I don't really go out of my way to "ignore" her ... but I also don't go out of my way to converse with her either. Somewhere "in-between" I guess. If I have to talk to her, I keep the conversation to a minimum. But no animosity or hard feelings. Rejection is rejection. You accept it, and move on.... I rarely, if ever, try to hook up with women who have a boyfriend, fiance', and/or husband. Too much "drama" in the long-run. But that's just me. To each their own. I don't really do the nightclub scene too much, but my "default" opening comment is usually something along the lines of, "So ... it is my belief that you are going to share my company ... oneon-one ... sometime within the next two-to-three weeks. You want to get together on a Friday night or a Saturday night?" I'm all about finding out if a woman is interested in sharing my company in the near future. For me, that is usually priority #1. Why even go any further if a woman is totally against the idea of sharing your company?? For me, no point. If she's down with sharing my company, then I get into what my specific desires, interests, and intentions are.... I just said in another thread, there is no "one way" to be Mode One. You have to incorporate the Mode One principles into your own "personal style." Your opening is too "conventional" for me. Too soft. If that works for you .... more power to you. But if I said that to a woman ("hey...i'm looking for the greatest and most adventurous, intelligent, witty, and erotically uninhibited women on the planet to spend some quality and relaxed time with next week ... and i really hope you are one of the few i can really hit it of with... because you are exactly my type"), I wouldn't feel that was bold and/or self-assured enough. The first half of your approach is okay ... but I don't like to use phrases like "I really hope you..."
Saying "I hope" is not representative of enough bold confidence for me. But again ... that is just me. I'm not at all saying that wouldn't work for you. But for me ... when I approach women, I come with a very cocky underlying attitude of, "I KNOW for a fact that you want to share my company .... there is NO DOUBT IN MY MIND that you want to share my company ...." I actually want women to feel like, "Who the fuck does this guy think he is?? He just 'KNOWS' that I want to share his company huh ...." Also, saying "because you are exactly my type" is totally unnecessary. Why in the world would I even approach a woman in the first place if she's NOT MY TYPE?!?!? That doesn't even make sense. My attitude?? Never communicate things verbally that you don't absolutely have to. Like saying, "I'm attracted to you...." Well, duh. Why would I approach a woman unless I was attracted to her?? "I think you're good looking..." Another duh. Why would I approach a woman unless I thought she was attractive to some degree?? "I think you're sexy..." Double Duh. I don't approach women unless I think they're sexy. I don't approach women to become platonic friends. So, I would never use your opener and say things like "... because you're exactly my type." That's unnecessary flattery in my book. And I disagree about qualification .... When you confidently assume that a woman wants to share your company, you automatically qualify her. If I approach a woman, and say, "So ... what weekend within the next two-to-three weeks would you like to share my company ....", her response to that will usually tell me .... a) ... if she is [potentially] interested in sharing my company; b ) ... if she is single / unattached; c) ... how she typically responds to spontaneous, unexpected questions; d) ... if she is intelligent and/or articulate by how she responds to that question; e) ... if she is quick and witty by how she responds to that question; You'd be surprised. I find out a LOT about women by how they respond to the questions I throw at them. Again, your opener was cool ... it wasn't "bad" at all ... but it was a little too "soft" for my tastes. It's not bold and/or cocky enough for me. Your approach is like going down the lane (basketball terminology) and attempting a soft lay-up, while mine is more about going for the slam dunk .... I'm not really into "pre-rehearsed 'pick-up' lines" anyway. So, I'm not really into the whole "you should say this!" and "you should say that!" deal. My attitude is, as long as you're expressing your romantic and/or sexual desires to women in a highly self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest, and unapologetic manner ... you are being Mode One. Let your own personal style and personality dictate what specific words and phrases you use.... I don't want to tell a woman everything about me in the first conversation. I want to give her just enough info to create curiosity and intrigue towards a second conversation/interaction. Then, if we don't have sex during the second interaction, I want to give her just enough info for her to be curious about spending time with me a third and/or fourth time. Too many men do too much talking in their first conversation, and they build no suspense, curiosity, or intrigue. Big mistake. I don't really like to make recommendations to men on what specifically to say to women. In my opinion, that's on you.
Mode One Behavior is not so much about what specific words you use, what specific comments you say, and what specific questions you ask or don't ask. Mode One is more about your overall attitude and demeanor when you approach women. The "vibe" you give off to women. When I used to act and do TV commercials, my agent once told me, "Never go into an audition with the attitude that you are hoping to get the role or the job. Always go into an audition with the attitude that you already know for a fact that you've gotten the role, and the casting director is just having you audition to confirm his/her decision." That more or less applies to Mode One. I don't approach women with the underlying attitude of, "I hope you like me ... I hope you approve of my behavior ... I hope nothing I say pisses you off or makes you feel uncomfortable ... I hope I can get a date with you sometime in the future ...." That is Mode Two. Not saying Mode Two Behavior can't work at times, because it can. But if you run into a highly skilled manipulator, you're dead meat with Mode Two. I approach women with the underlying attitude of "I KNOW you want to share my company. I have no doubt in my mind that we're going to hook up in the near future. I KNOW at some point in the near future I'm going to fuck you...." What do I have to lose?? 1) If the woman is genuinely not interested in me, what difference does it make if she's "turned off" by my approach. Even if I was more polite, pleasant, flattering and accomodating, I still would not get the pussy from that type of woman. Why do you think there are so many "frustrated 'nice guys'" on message boards and blogs?? Have you ever heard of an angry, frustrated, bitter "cocky womanizer??" Nope. 2) If the woman is attracted to me, and has some degree of interest in me ... but she's pretending not to be interested in me (because she doesn't want to give me the egotistical satisfaction of knowing she's interested in me), then in the long-run ... I win. Do you know how many times I've had women reject me one week, only to give me the pussy 2-3 weeks later?? Or reject me one month, only to give me the pussy 3, 4, 5+ months later?? That happens all of the time when you're Mode One. Very rarely, if ever, when you're Mode Two. The problem with the more "soft," "polite," "flattering" approaches is that it is too "conventional." Damn near every man out in society attempts to exhibit behavior that is pleasing, flattering, impressive, and/or accomodating to women. They think it's going to earn them "brownie points" with women. Fuck that. When I go down the lane, I'm going for the slam dunk. Even if I get rejected by women, I want women to tell their girlfriends, "Do you know Alan Roger Currie? Gotdamn that guy is BOLD. He doesn't mince words at all. He does not 'beat-around-thebush' in the least bit. I don't know if I'll have sex with that guy .... but I have to say, he is not lacking in the 'self-confidence' department...." (This is actually representative of real comments women have made about me to their friends and acquaintances after they 'rejected' me) Do and say what feels right for you. As long as a woman knows you're not trying to be her "play brother" and/or next new 'platonic friend,' it's all good. It's funny .... most of the guys on this board exhibit Mode One Behavior for a week, two weeks, or two months ... and they get sort of 'uneasy' about the idea that haven't quite grasped all of the ins
and outs of Mode One Behavior. It took me years to "perfect" Mode One Behavior to where I wanted. I started being Mode One around 1985, 1986 ... and it wasn't until at least the early-to-mid 90s where I started feeling 100% comfortable being Mode One consistently. So never feel that you're "not quite up to par" yet with Mode One if you just familiarized yourself with it in the last few weeks and/or months. The key to Mode One is, you have to know what you want before you approach a woman. If you approach a woman with an attitude of "indecisiveness," your behavior is going to be hesitant, vague, and ambiguous (essentially, Mode Two ... even Mode Three). Every woman I approach, I know I want to have sex with them. I know this. There is no "indecisiveness" in that area. The next thing I determine is ... short-term sex? long-term/indefinite? monogamous? non-monogamous?? group sex/threesome?? You don't have to be as decisive with the latter, but you definitely have to know that you want sex ... and not a "platonic" interaction. I don't approach women to become their next "play brother" and/or new "listening ear platonic companion." Fuck that. Good job dude ... keep it up. Did anyone on here catch the new reality show on VH1, "The Pick-Up Artist"?? It's a new reality show starring "The Master of Indirect Attraction Himself," Mystery. He has about eight or nine "newbies" trying to learn how to attract women. I will say this ... the show was fairly entertaining. It was not boring. But .... a lot of Mystery's techniques came off as looking overrated. He didn't really demonstrate that he had these women attracted to him; He just demonstrated that he knew how to engage them in entertaining conversation ... and the two are not necessarily synonymous. I know it's not my show, so I'm just going to watch it with an open and objective mind..... However, if I had my own "Mode One" show, I would have the producers design it a little bit differently. 1) I know jaydilla and a few others would lightheartedly debate me on this, but a bar/restaurant and/or nightclub would not be my public venue of choice. I've said a number of times before ... I don't particularly care for the type of women that most nightclubs attract (i.e., attention whores, gold diggers, cock teasers, general time wasters, etc.) 2) I would actually have each of the "newbies" or "wannabes" perform my infamous "Women In A Hotel Room" test; I bring in some women, show them pictures and videos of these guys, then I would have each "newbie" talk to four women.... i) One woman who is interested in that particular newbie for a dating relationship, but not casual sex;
ii) One woman who is interested in having casual sex, but I've trained her to "pretend" as though her only interest is monogamous sex; iii) One woman who is not interested in that particular newbie, but I've trained her to "pretend" as though she is in order to get at least one free lunch and/or one free dinner out of him; iv) One woman who is not interested in that particular newbie, but she has been told to engage the newbie in as much entertaining "small talk" as possible. I would give each newbie 45 minutes to talk to all four women. The newbie would "win" by correctly identifying who is who. If any newbie failed to identify even ONE woman correctly, he would be eliminated from the show 3) I wouldn't treat "rejection" from a woman as if it were "failure," like I felt Mystery's show did. I would only be hard on guys who did not approach women, and express their desires, interests, and intentions in a confident, upfront, specific, and/or straightforward manner. I'm going to continue to watch the show ... because like I said, at minimum, it was fairly entertaining. I've worked in the Entertainment Industry, and I can tell you, everything about television ... and particularly, reality shows ... is about ratings. Mystery is not in control of this show. The producers are. And the producers are going to do everything possible to create "conflict" and/or "drama" in order to boost the ratings. On the "hidden camera" thing, you cannot enter into a club that has "hidden cameras" taping you for television. Don't believe the hype. Those patrons have to be told ahead of time that there is the possibility that their faces will be videotaped. If I went into a club, and was videotaped, and didn't know it .... and I was shown on TV later ... I could sue for invasion of privacy. Only security-based staff can videotape someone without their knowledge, and there are even rules and policies regarding how that type of footage can be used. You know how you can tell if something is TRULY "reality??" Limited camera angles. Think YouTube type footage. Any show that has multiple camera angles is not true "reality." Multiple camera angles means that they're constantly stopping, starting, stopping, starting the filming. As far as "direct" VS "indirect," I think both can be effective at times .... For me, the biggest difference comes in those instances when the woman fails to reciprocate your interests. When I'm Mode One/direct with women, and I get rejected, it doesn't bother me at all. I might feel a tad bit "disappointed" for a few minutes, but I never feel "angry," "frustrated," and/or "bitter." When I'm Mode Two/indirect with women, and I get rejected, I feel pissed off. Why? Because to one degree or another, I was putting on a facade, and that facade failed to produce results. Analogy: Direct - You work in a building with twelve floors, and you always ride the elevator up to the seventh floor. For weeks a woman in your building rides the elevator with you, only she gets off on the 10th floor. You talk to her while she's on the elevator with you, but you always get off on the
seventh floor. Indirect - Same scenario as above, with the only difference being, because you're attracted to this particular woman, you ride up three extra floors just to continue the conversation with this woman. If things go well, you don't mind riding up three extra floors, and then walking down those three floors to your office. But if things go bad? She rejects you? You're going to feel pissed off that you took that "extra time" to ride up three floors and walk down three floors. You did something "extra," and it didn't "pay off." That's the essence ... at least for me ... with "indirect" methods. They can work .... I'll never say that indirect methods just flat out "don't work." But 90-99% of the time, when you're indirect, you're doing something "extra" that you really don't need to be doing. Like Comecuca alluded to ... you can achieve pretty much the same results being direct as you can being indirect, and more-thanlikely, you're going to achieve those results quicker and with less effort. And most importantly, with less dramatic changes to your natural behavior. "Indirect" is really all about one thing, and one thing only: PREVENTING and/or AVOIDING [harsh] criticisms or 'negative reactions' in your attempt to attract a woman and/or seduce them. Plain and simple. You're trying to get the ass while "pretending" that you're not trying to get the ass, because you're afraid that if you're upfront & straightforward about the fact that you want the ass, you'll get criticized, insulted, or rejected. Mode One / Direct says, "I'm going to tell you straight up that I want to have sex with you. Whether my interests are directed towards short-term sex, long-term sex, monogamous sex, or nonmonogamous sex, I'm going to let you know upfront that I want to exchange orgasms with you. If you criticize me for expressing that truthful interest .... so what. If you're going to behave as though you now 'dislike' me for being so forthright with my intentions ... so what. If you're going to make me feel like I'm being "too forward," "shallow," and/or "superficial" for expressing to you that I ultimately want my dick in your pussy ... so what. My desire is what it is, and I make no apologies for that." In the United States, expressing explicit sexual desires and interests to a woman that you've just met is only considered "sexual harassment" if you're in a work-related situation (employer-to-employee, colleague-to-colleague, agent-to-client/customer, etc). On a purely social level ... no. Word of warning though: At bare minimum, you should only approach a woman in that manner if you know for a 100% fact that she's single/unattached/available. I would never approach a woman and say those sorts of things if I thought she might be married, engaged, or had a serious boyfriend. I like gameboy's comment, "Mode is vibe-based more so than words-based." VERY true. I just got off the phone not too long ago after conversing with a female friend of mine who lives in California, near Stanford University. We actually are "just friends" (because when I first met her six or seven years ago, she was married; Now, since I hardly see her, we mainly have a phone relationship), but we tend to share "stories of interest" with one another at least 4 - 6 times per year. Anyways ... it's interesting. Usually, when I hear about a "Mode One" styled 'X-rated' seduction story, it's from a male friend or acquaintance of mine. But this time, it was from the woman's
perspective, which made it more interesting. My friend ... I'll call her "Karen" ... said she met this guy on an online dating site. I think Match.com She's 'mixed' (her mother is Caucasian and her father is Black), and the guy she met online is Black. He writes her on the site, and in a very cocky manner writes, "If you don't piss me off when we meet in person, you might just be lucky enough to have me fuck you in the near future...." She told me, initially, she was offended and "turned off." She wrote back, "Thanks ... but no thanks. I'm looking for something more substantial." Now I've known this woman since like '99 or 2000, and for the most part, casual sex is not her thing. She engages every now and then, but rarely if ever on the first or second date. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks after she meets a guy. The guy wrote back, "Cool. Good meeting you." (Note: See? he wasn't unnecessarily 'persistent' ... he accepted her 'rejection') Then, she admitted to me that three or four weeks later after 'rejecting' him, she got 'intrigued' by his 'cockiness' and 'boldness.' So she wrote him about two, two-and-a-half weeks ago and said, "So ... are you meeting plenty of women 'lucky' enough to get some from you? LOL" He wrote back a couple of days later, "Why do you want to know .... curious? Of course you are. Meet me at (nearby bar/restaurant) at 9pm on Friday, July 6th" She said at first she was very reluctant to meet him, because she knew all he wanted was casual sex, but she was admittedly 'intrigued' by his 'Mode One' styled behavior (she asked him recently had he heard of my book, but he said he hadn't. But he did express curiosity in learning more about it). Anyways ... she meets him at this bar/restaurant last Friday. They talk ... and have a few drinks and appetizers. Then after about 45 minutes of eating, drinking, and general conversation, he says, "Massage my dick through my pants (she said he had on jeans)...." She was like, "WTF?!?" He said, "Did I stutter??" Now we were just talking about the importance of direct eye-contact in Razorjack's thread. She said the whole time he talked to her, he looked her directly in her eyes. She says, "I'm not doing that in a public place. Sorry." He says, "Either do it ... or say, '(his first name) ... it was a pleasure meeting you, but I need to leave now." She debated for like 3 or 4 minutes she said. Just when she was on the verge of leaving, she takes a chance and says, "Okay. I'll do it." And she DOES IT. Grabs his dick (through his pants) while they're at the bar seated on stools. I said, "What made you do it ....?" She said, "I have no idea. Caught up in the moment I guess." Next thing you know, the two leave, and he pulls her in an alley, and starts kissing her and squeezing her tits. Next thing you know, they're at her place fucking. She said this is only the 2nd or 3rd time she's had sex with a guy on the first date (and again ... I know a lot of her history. I believe her. Usually, she'll wait at least 2 or 3 weeks before giving up the pussy) Bottom line? She admitted, "Alan ... there is something to your 'Mode One' theory. I'll give you that. If this guy had exhibited just normal, basic, conventional 'nice guy' behavior towards me, I would have never slept with him that quick, if at all. But something about his bold, cocky behavior got me goin'." Warning/Disclaimer: To the "inexperienced" readers of my book .. don't try this at home Don't elevate to "X-rated" Mode One until you've mastered "PG-13" and "R-rated" Mode One approaches.... I'm just hurt that this guy never heard of my book .... LIAR!
In my book, "Mode One," I make it a point not to encourage men to always be 'Mode One' with women specifically in an 'X-rated' manner. Some women just do not respond well to profane language and/or language that is too sexually explicit. But at the same time, I have to confess: A number of my most successful 'Mode One seductions' have resulted from me being very verbally erotic and explicit with women (i.e., what you would probably refer to as 'crude' and/or 'crass' verbal behavior). I guess for me, being verbally 'X-rated' with women is not something I would specifically 'encourage' men to do ... but I could never totally 'discourage' it either. I mean, my female friend pretty much admitted to me: If that guy in the story above had exhibited 'basic,' 'cautious', and/or 'conventional' behavior, he would have never gotten her to respond the way she did. And as far as just taking a woman's hand, and putting it on your dick .... that's sort of 'risky.' Given a choice between the two options, I would actually lean towards doing what that guy did (telling her to massage his dick) rather than just take her hand and put it on there. But both techniques have validity.... Is it ok to write "Mode One" stuff online in the first email you send to a woman? In a word, yes. I believe a man should always be Mode One with women. My only small piece of advice is, don't be Mode One with women just to "shock" them and/or be perceived as "brash and controversial." I've had some guys who read my book that think that being "Mode One" is primarily about saying something really "shocking" and/or "controversial" to a woman. It's not. Mode One is about being REAL and exceptionally TRUTHFUL to the point where you really don't care if you're rejected by a woman or harshly criticized by a woman. Did the guy who wrote to your female friend do that? He was very bold and sexually straightforward in his first contact with my female friend. He said something to the effect of, "Hey ... I live in the same general vicinity of you so we should get together in a few weeks. If you don't piss me off when we meet in person, you might just be lucky enough to have me fuck you in the near future...." If that isn't Mode One Behavior, I don't know what is. The key thing is ... initially ... my female friend was "turned off." She said she wrote him back and said, "Thanks ... but no thanks. I'm not looking for a 'fuck buddy' ... I'm looking for a boyfriend and even a potential husband." He simply said, "Okay. That's cool. Well, it was a pleasure making your acquaintance anyway. Good luck." 1) You notice that he never acted "desperate" to hook up with her. He wanted to fuck her, but he didn't need to fuck her. This is an important thing to remember. I say this in my book: Never allow yourself to NEED a woman's attention and/or companionship. Only allow yourself to WANT it. 2) He didn't try to lie to her or bullshit her about his long-term intentions. That is MODE ONE!! He was upfront & straightforward about the fact that all he wanted to do was fuck. I respect that highly. 3) He was able to accept rejection gracefully. That is also an important aspect of being Mode One. After she rejected him, he didn't say, "Aw, c'mon!! You know you want to hook up with me!! You know you do!!" or "Then fuck you bitch!!! You weren't that attractive to me anyway!!" I know a lot of guys who respond like that when they fail to get the response, reaction, and/or results they
desired or expected. You have to detach yourself ... and specifically, your ego ... from any particular desired response from women. The funny thing was ... about three-and-a-half weeks later, my female friend ended up writing him again. When I asked her why, she said his "boldness" and "confidence" (there's that word broiledbrain! "confidence") intrigued her. Next thing you know, she hooked up with him, and gave him some pussy the first night she met him. I've had many women do that with me. I can name numerous times when I was Mode One with a woman, and initially, they will behave as though I totally offended them, disrespected them, and generally "turned them off." Then, either minutes later ... hours later ... days later ... or weeks/months later ... most of those same women will be damn near throwing the pussy at me. My female friend proved: You can't always take that "initial" rejection on face value. Are the profile and pictures a big factor or just a small piece in the puzzle? I'm not the greatest evaluator and/or analyzer of online dating profiles and pictures, but the biggest thing is, you can never come across as if you're "timid" and/or "desperate." Women can 'smell' when a man is afraid of her .. and women in general ... and when he's needy and desperate for romantic and/or sexual companionship. Is it ok to copy and paste and send the same message to all women? I would change each message up just a little bit in case some of the women know each other, but generally speaking, I don't see anything wrong with that. Hope I was of some assistance.... Those are ratings I borrowed from the United States of America's Movie rating system.... Mode One Behavior - "PG" style: Description: Expressing your romantic and/or erotic desires to a woman using language that would not make children or teenagers feel awkward or embarrassed. Example: "Let's hook up next weekend and enjoy ourselves to the absolute fullest..." Mode One Behavior - "PG-13" style: Description: Expressing your romantic and/or erotic desires to a woman using language that would not cause a female to feel awkward or embarrassed if she was in the company of two or more of her girlfriends. Example: "I think you and I should hook up next Friday night ... and see who leaves the other smiling the hardest on Saturday morning ..." Mode One Behavior - "R-rated" style: Description: Expressing your romantic and/or erotic desires to a woman using language that is
erotically provocative, but not too 'explicit' or 'graphic' Example: "Let's hook up next weekend and exhange multiple orgasms..." Mode One Behavior - "X-rated" style: Description: Expressing your romantic and/or erotic desires to a woman using language that includes profanity and/or sexually explicit details. Example: "I cannot wait to hook up with you in the near future and fuck you doggy-style ..." Mode One Behavior - "XXX-rated" style: Description: Expressing your romantic and/or erotic desires to a woman using language that lets her know your specific plans on how you're going to fuck her. Example: "First ... I'm going to fuck your cute little mouth. Then, once I shoot my cum down your throat, I'm going to take a break, and eat some ice cream. Then, I'm gonna let you slide your tight, wet pussy up and down on my hard dick. Then, I'm going to make you say, 'can I please cum on your dick'. You would like that ... wouldn't you?" I'm usually only Mode One in an "X-rated" or "XXX-rated" manner when I'm with a woman alone ... with no one else around. I'm "R-rated" when I'm talking to a woman one-on-one, but in a public place. I'm "PG" and "PG-13" if they have friends, relatives, acquaintances, or children/teenagers around. P.S. Greenlake, I see, beat me to it. He replied first. Both his response coupled with my response should give you an idea of the "movie rating" system of evaluating the most appropriate language, given the woman and the environment that you're in Yes, I'm rarely Mode One in an "X-rated" or "XXX-rated" manner (in the first conversation) with a woman if my long-term objective is a 'serious, committed relationship.' But then again, I rarely approach women with the idea of a serious relationship anyway 95% of the time, I always approach women with the objective of indefinite casual sex ... and if the chemistry between us causes us to elevate the relationship from non-monogamous to monogamous, then so be it. Out of the five, my "default" is usually "R-rated" language. Most of the time, I start out at "Rrated," and either escalate the language up to "X" or "XXX," or downgrade it to "PG" or "PG-13." But again, I always use "PG" or "PG-13" language if the woman I'm conversing with has two or more people around. I'll be "R-rated" if she has maybe one girlfriend around. Clarification for those "inexperienced" Mode One readers: Those "movie ratings" have very little, if any effect on your actual DESIRE, OBJECTIVE or INTENTION. The rating just effects the LANGUAGE you use in expressing that particular desires, interest, or intention. My female friend's guy friend (finally) bought my paperback, and he even recently purchased the "Hardcore" Ebook (I didn't know it until she told me). His thoughts? (according to her) his one "criticism": "Nothing in the book is truly revolutionary to me. Honestly, I thought all bruthas (Black guys) who got a lot of pussy were naturally 'Mode One' ... I've never really been
Mode Two or Mode Three with women. I was a star athlete in high school and college, and most top-notch athletes are almost always [naturally] Mode One with women ..." (comment paraphrased) his compliment(s): "Tell your boy (me) that his book is well-written and on-point. All guys should be Mode One with women. There is just really no reason not to be. I could never feel comfortable being Mode Two or Mode Three. I think I've been Mode Four once or twice. And his 'Hardcore' internet book brings out the most important point. All women have a 'kinky', 'freaky' side to 'em. All of them. You can never assume that a woman is a 'good girl'. I treat all women like they're kinky freaks underneath .... because 99% of the time, they are ..." (comments paraphrased) That's funny that he highlighted athletes being Mode One. A while back, I mentioned on this message board about a guy I used to hang out with in Los Angeles who used to play football for Michigan State. He was naturally Mode One. Other than myself, he was probably the most bold, upfront, provocatively straightforward guy I've ever known with women. If he wanted to have sex with a woman and her best friend, he would simply say, "I want you and your best friend to have a threesome with me sometime soon..." He never tried to bullshit women into bed. Anyways ... my female friend wouldn't admit or deny that they're still fucking, because now she's seeing someone else. But I think this guy is still tappin' that ass.... Getting a woman's phone number should never be a higher priority than establishing the fact that this woman is interested in you and/or intrigued by your approach, and your behavior. Remember that. A phone number is nothing more than a means of communication ... not a definite representation of interest. Getting a woman's phone number, for me, is a very low priority. Even if you get the number, and you and the woman talk .... what are you going to talk about?? Bullshit "small talk" and "chit chat??" No thanks. In most of my "same-day seductions," I never asked for a woman's phone number. To take it a step further, sometimes I don't even ask a woman what her [first] name is. Seriously. Because if she's not interested in me, I don't give a fuck what her name is.... Again, phone numbers from women are overrated. If you have a woman truly intrigued and/or interested, you will never have to "ask" for her number. She will gladly give it to you. Men want women to have casual sex, but then when they agree to have casual sex, men turn around and pass judgement on them, and label them as "hos" or "sluts." And then men wonder why women are manipulative, duplicitous, and/or sexually hypocritical?? As bb alluded to, this is why you have so many women who are "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites." Because they want to have kinky and/or casual sex, but they don't want to be judged or labeled. And the reality anyway? There is really no such thing as a "100% Good Girl." That shit it outdated. All women have an "Inner [Kinky] Freak" side to them. ALL women. Exhibiting unapologetic behavior is one of the Top 3, Top 5 characteristics/factors that separates the effectiveness of Mode One Behavior from Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior.
When I first started being upfront and straightforward with women about my [sexual] desires, interests, and intentions ... and they would give me adverse reactions ... initially, I would sort of "semi-apologize." (e.g., "Did what I said to you make you feel uncomfortable? Oh, my bad....") And I noticed, everytime I apologized I became dead meat. When you apologize to women for something you said or expressed, that's like acknowledging that you did something "wrong" or "inappropriate," even if in reality, what you said was neither. Later, I started being more like John Leslie's character of "Jack" in "Talk Dirty To Me" and "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II." That is when Mode One Behavior started working for me almost like magic. I would say really, really bold, provocatively straightforward comments to women ... and as soon as they would raise their eyebrows, drop their jaws, or begin harshly criticizing me ... I would just stare into their eyes ... smirking. Sure enough ... at least 80-90% of the time that women realized I wasn't going to "back down" from anything I said, or 'apologize' for it, they would calm down, relax, and then our conversation would simply continue. Example from the past: ModeOne4Ever: "You know what? I can't wait to hook up with you next Friday ..." Woman I've approached for the first time: "I beg your pardon?" ModeOne4Ever: "Look at you ... beggin' already. I like that." Woman: "Excuse me?" ModeOne4Ever: "You're excused." Woman: "Do I know you from somewhere?" ModeOne4Ever: "If you're asking me if we've ever exchanged orgasms before ... no. You would've remembered me." (smirk) Woman: "Oh my God ... I don't believe you just said that!!! I don't even know you!" ModeOne4Ever: "And your point is ...." Woman: "I just met you! I don't even know your name!! And you're already talking to me about the fact that we've never had sex?!?" Note: This would be a point that most guys would become "apologetic." "My bad ... I didn't mean to be so forward...." "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable ... that was not representative of me being a gentleman, was it?" etc., etc., etc. Now my conversation from the past continues... ModeOne4Ever: "So .... 8pm next Friday? Or is 9pm better?" Woman (sighs out of frustration): "You are one cocky son-of-a-bitch, you know that?? You are presumptuous as hell!!! What would make you think I'm going to get together with you next Friday and have sex with you?!? You men are so damn sex driven ..." ModeOne4Ever: "I bet you're a damn good kisser aren't you ... I love to kiss ..." Woman: "So! Why are you telling me? You won't be kissing me anytime soon ..." Note: Some guys would bail out here, wouldn't they? Looks like the road is heading towards rejection. Nope. Why not? Because if this woman was truly not interested, she would've made at least one attempt to end the conversation by now. The fact that she's still talking to me lets me know that my behavior "intrigues" her.
Continued.... ModeOne4Ever: "Yes I will. We will kiss .... and then we will engage in foreplay, which you will thoroughly enjoy .... and then I will fuck you." Woman: "What an asshole you are!!! Are you like this with all women??" Note: Most men when they hear insults such as "asshole," they are almost always tempted to "apologize" for their behavior. Fuck that. Subjective criticisms and individual, opinionated perceptions of my behavior mean nothing. And you never want to let a woman know how you are with "other women." That's none of her damn business. Continued.... ModeOne4Ever: "Next Friday, I'll fix you an apple margarita ... how's that? you'll love it." Woman (agitated): "You just don't get it, do you?? I am not going out with you next week ... got that??" ModeOne4Ever: "Who said 'go out'?? You're going to be at my place ... or I'm at your place. I never, ever mentioned 'going out' somewhere. Shame on you young lady .... you presumptuous brat you..." Woman (I make her giggle): "Yes ... I did assume you were going to take me out. I guess we're both presumptuous, huh?" ModeOne4Ever: "Hell fuck no. You're presumptuous. I'm just a damn good planner. I know what I want, and when I want it. And I know next Friday, I want you to share my company ... and if our chemistry is really, really good ... I might .... no promises .... but I might just fuck you." Woman (anger has dissipated ... she giggles again): "You are FUNNY!! You 'might' fuck me?? Like I have my fingers crossed that you would give me the 'privilege' of letting you fuck me, huh?? You are too much." ModeOne4Ever: "Say, 'Alan ... you are so damn cocky'...." Woman (hesitates, then says it): "Alan, you are so damn cocky...." ModeOne4Ever: "Say, 'Thank you for telling me your name ... I wanted that information'" Woman (hesitates again, but then says it): "Thank you Alan for letting me know your name. I wanted to know who you were. And by the way, I'm Denise" ModeOne4Ever (moving closer into her 'space', and then whispers in her ear): "Now, say, 'I'm sorry Alan for acting like a bratty bitch earlier. I do want to share your company next Friday'..." Woman (looks at me for a minute or two with a "you are too much" expression, but then responds): "I'm sorry Alan. Your cocky behavior caught me off guard, and I acted like a bratty bitch. I'm sorry I did that. I want to share your company next Friday." ModeOne4Ever (whispers in her ear): "Now, finally, say 'I'm a damn good kisser Alan. I love to kiss. Please kiss me so I can show you'..." Woman (softly and submissively): "I'm a really, really good kisser Alan. I really am. And I do love to kiss. Please kiss me (interrupted by Yours Truly kissing her)" This dialogue is representative of just one of my interactions with new women. They key in all of this?? If I had "apologized" early on when she was going off on me, I would've never ended up kissing this woman, or later, fucking this woman. Never. Apologetic behavior kills sexual chemistry. If a woman is criticizing you ... even harshly .... but she's still taking the time to converse with you ... that means that something about you "intrigues" her. I've seen many of my proteges' in the past make that mistake.
Quick examples of making the mistake of apologizing: Man: "You're very attractive. Very sexy. I would love to get together with you sometime in the near future. You think that is possible? Desirable Woman: "Now that was an original approach..." Man: "Thank you. (pause) So ... do you think that is possible? Me and you?" Woman: "I'm not sure. I don't even know your name, or anything about you?" Man: "I'm Patrick. And you are..." Woman: "Linda." Patrick: "One week from Saturday works for me. Does that work for you?" Linda: "Maybe ... maybe not. What would we do?" Patrick: "I don't know just yet. Build chemistry would be #1 on my list. Feel each other out. Emphasize each other's strengths, and ignore each other's flaws and weaknesses, that sort of thing. And of course, if the mood is right ... send each other into ecstasy" Linda (curious about last comment): "send each other into ecstasy?? That sounds like something sexual ...." Pause!!! If you're Mode One, you say, "And you would be correct." And then you would stand by that comment, and never back down from it. But unfortunately, this is not what "Patrick" does in this situation. He instead "apologizes." Uh oh. Patrick: "No, .... no, no. Don't worry .... I'm not trying to 'move too fast'. I just want to ... you know ... get to know you. As friends first, of course. Nothing too physical or sexual too quickly." Linda: "I was about to say ... (giggles). Yeah, I don't move that fast on a first date. I mean, most men on the first date take me out to a really nice restaurant or something. My favorite is that French restaurant in Santa Monica." Patrick (thinks to himself, "that real expensive ass restaurant?!?", but...): "okay. Sounds good. I'll pick you up around 8pm?" Linda: "Sounds good! Can't wait!! Here's my number..." Fast forward to right after the dinner date: Patrick tries to get a kiss.... Linda: "What are you doing?!?" Patrick: "What does it look like I'm doing ... I'm trying to kiss you...." Linda: "What did I tell you about 'moving too fast.' This is way too fast. Are you an asshole or something??" Patrick: "I'm sorry Linda. I guess I'm being a bit of a jerk." (Apologies!!!!) Linda: "You're damn right you are. When I'm ready to kiss you .... I will kiss you. Okay? Got that??" Patrick (defeated): "Yes. I understand. Again, sorry. I didn't mean not to be a gentleman." Linda: "No problem. Now go buy those tickets for the Sting concert." Patrick: "So ... you and I are going to see Sting?" Linda: "No silly. Me and my girlfriend Cheryl are going to see Sting. But you promised to 'do something nice for me', right? Right? Buy those tickets for me." Patrick: "you're right. I did. Okay." Getting nauseous yet? This is what happens when you start "apologizing" for comments made, or behavior exhibited. You either get flat out rejected ... or even worse, you end up at a woman's mercy. She'll guide you around with your tail like you're a punked-out puppy. What Yours Truly would've done with Linda:
ModeOne4Ever: "So ... next Friday or next Saturday ...." Desirable Woman: "Excuse me?" ModeOne4Ever: "You're excused. (pause) Are we getting together next Friday ... or next Saturday?" Woman: "Wow. Now that was original. You just come right out with it, huh?" ModeOne4Ever: "I didn't understand your answer. Was that a 'next Friday will be fine' or was that a 'next Saturday will work out perfectly'?" Woman: "I'm not sure. I don't even know your name, or anything about you?" ModeOne4Ever: "You will learn everything you need to know about Alan next week" Woman: "Oh will I? Interesting. Alan, I'm Linda. Nice to meet you." ModeOne4Ever: "So ... Friday or Saturday...." Linda: "Maybe ... I have to mull this over real quick. What would we do, assuming I let you take me out on a date?" ModeOne4Ever: "I don't do 'dates.' We are just getting together to enjoy each other's personal space." Linda (curious): "Enjoy each other's personal space?? Be more specific." ModeOne4Ever: "We're going to talk briefly ... become more attracted to one another ... and then we're going to exchange orgasms. But that's a bit too formal. You probably love the term, 'we're going to fuck' ... don't you?" Pause!!! Now you know Linda is about to go off, right? So what. DON'T APOLOGIZE. Linda: "What?!? Are you some sort of jerk or something?? You are just crass, rude, and shallow. I can't believe you just said that!!!!!! First, you tell me you don't go out on 'dates' ... and then you tell me that you expect us to have sex?? In our first meeting?? You are nuts." ModeOne4Ever (making light of her anger): "You're so cute when you show off such a wide array of facial expressions ... (pause) ... I bet you make a lot of expressions when you're about to cum, don't you?" Linda: "I'm not amused in the least bit...." ModeOne4Ever: "I believe you. (pause) I think your pussy is wet...." Linda: "What gives you the audacity to be such an asshole with women you've just met?? I mean, are you THAT good in bed??" ModeOne4Ever: "Now that was cute.... (leans closer to whisper in her ear) I'm gonna fuck you..." Linda (her version of a 'stern' talk): "Listen, and listen carefully. I am not a whore? Got that? I am not a 'slut' or an easy lay. Got that?? I am a woman with high self-esteem, who has much respect for herself. Got that??? I hope you quickly realize you're dealing with quality here." (Why is she telling me all of this?? Do I give a fuck?? So what do I do?? MOCK her) ModeOne4Ever: "Okay Linda. Listen, and listen carefully. I am not gay. Got that? I don't fuck other men. I fuck women. I enjoy fucking women. And even though masturbation is okay, I prefer to exchange orgasms rather than have a selfish orgasm. Is that clear? Got that?? Good girl. I am a man with a high libido, who has much respect for women who take care of their bodies, and keep themselves groomed well, like yourself. Got that?? Don't apologize to me for getting my dick hard. You've earned that right young lady. Hold your head up...." (Broke her! She cracks a smile) Linda (relaxing): "Okay Alan ... that was good. Real cute." ModeOne4Ever (moves closer to her): "I knew you would enjoy that..." Linda: "You are so bad. Are you this totally naughty with other women?"
ModeOne4Ever: "Now would you like me discussing my interactions with you with other people? I'm cocky as hell, but I'm also private and discreet." Linda: "Well that's good to hear. I like that in you." ModeOne4Ever (hugs her): "You're soft. And I bet your ass is even softer..." Linda: "You are so bad. What am I going to do with you...." Fast forward to one week later, right after having sex: Linda: "I can't believe I let you fuck me so quick...." ModeOne4Ever doesn't even respond to that one. Linda: "Normally, men 'wine & dine' me before they even get to kiss me..." ModeOne4Ever just listens. Linda: "You want to go see Sting??" ModeOne4Ever: "I love Sting." Linda: "Great! I have this platonic male friend of mine ... Patrick ... who's gonna buy me some tickets. You'll love it Alan." ModeOne4Ever: "This guy Patrick is just gonna buy you some tickets?? Wow. He sure is a nice guy...." The parts I've bolded in his comments are totally on-point. Most of the time, when you say something "bold," "sexually provocative," or risque' and/or unconventionally straightforward to women, they're initially going to get "theatrical" (i.e., criticize your comment(s), let you know they're not a "ho" or a "slut," etc). When women give me these feigned adverse reactions, I either a) ignore them or b ) make fun of them/mock them. The thing you have to always remember: If a woman is taking time out of her schedule to criticize you, then she's egotistically frustrated. Egotistical frustration is not to be confused with lack of interest. Lack of interest: A woman abruptly makes an attempt to end her conversation/interaction with you. (e.g., "That was an original approach ... but sorry, I'm just not interested. You're not my type. Take care...") Resistance / Egotistical Frustration: A woman criticizes you ... even harshly criticizes you, or even insults your moral character ... but ... she still keeps the conversation going. Once you apologize, you kill the sexual chemistry. (e.g., Her: "you're a creep! you're an asshole!!" You: "I'm sorry. I should've been more of a gentleman. My parents did raise me to respect women...." NO!!!! Instead, Her: "you're a creep! you're an asshole!!" You: "Now, now ... all of this flattery is really unnecessary. Spread it out over some of our future interactions. You know ... creepy assholes like myself are the best kissers. I bet you didn't know that, did you...." Her (frustrated): "You're a cocky creepy asshole!!" You: "I can't wait to fuck you ... make you flatter me right before you cum....") Never say anything to a woman that would make you feel like you have to "apologize" for it later on. Never. I never say anything to a woman that I would 'regret' later on. If I feel like I might regret saying something, then plain and simply, I don't say it. If I say something .... no matter how forward, provocative, or risque' ... I stand by it, and never, ever apologize for it. I'm telling you fellas .... unapologetic behavior is the "X-factor" that really makes Mode One work, particularly in relation to getting a woman's pussy wet. (Even many of the women I've been with say that themselves ... later on. They'll say, "When I acted like a bitch towards you ... and you
kept displaying this cocky smirk at me? Well, I'll confess. You got me wet right there. I was like "Why is this guy so calm and confident when I'm obviously giving him a hard time? That made me wet Alan....") STOP APOLOGIZING FOR HAVING A DICK, and WANTING TO USE IT. "Firm" and Hardline: You don't allow others to treat you in an undesirable and/or disrespectful manner; You don't allow others to waste your time, or take your attention & companionship for granted; You don't change or modify who you naturally are in order to specifically please, flatter, or accommodate others; Being an "asshole": You treat others like crap, and generally treat them in an undesirable and/or disrespectful manner; You exhibit behavior with the specific purpose and intent of provoking an agitated, angry, and/or frustrated response from others If another man ends up fucking a woman before you by being "manipulative" .... so be it. You can't allow that to motivate you to become manipulative as well. Manipulative tactics often do work in the short-run, but very rarely do they work in the long-run. Trust me on this..... If your sole and specific motivation for exhibiting Mode One Behavior is just to get laid, I can tell you right now, you're going to be disappointed. When you're Mode One with women, "getting laid" is more so the "frosting on the cake" rather than the 'cake' itself. If you're main thing is just getting some pussy, then you might want to look into Ross Jeffries, Mystery, or whoever else promises to get you laid with every woman you meet. 1) I couldn't necessarily say ... or guarantee ... that any man would be able to attract and/or seduce more women by using indirect, more manipulative methods (e.g., Mystery Method, Ross Jeffries, a few others). The main thing manipulative tactics allow you to do is sort of "sneak up" on women using the "back door." In other words, you're trying to get laid without letting women know upfront that you're trying to get laid. I've seen manipulation work. I won't lie. The #1 form of manipulation? Pretending to be interested in a long-term, emotionally profound, romantically monogamous relationship when you know deepdown that you just want [casual] sex. Men do this all of the time. Does it work? Of course it does. But in the long-run, either the woman, the man, or both pay for that shit. 2) Mode One Behavior is not a "seduction method." I make that clear to guys all of the time. I don't even really like my book referred to as a "seduction book." Because, for the most part, it is not. Mode One is a book more so about more confident, upfront, and straightforwardly honest interpersonal communication skills with women. The main objective of Mode One is to... a) Improve your overall sense of self-confidence and make a man's attitude and demeanor towards women more self-assured; b ) Help men eliminate their fear of approaching women to initiate conversation; c) Help men diminish their desire and temptation to engage in trivial, irrelevant, and nonadvantageous "small talk" and "chit chat" with women;
d) Help men get to a point where harsh, subjective criticisms, opinionated insults, and the possibility of being "rejected" don't diminish their confidence towards approaching those women who they are attracted to, and interested in either dating or having casual sex with In a nutshell, I believe when you are consistently Mode One with women, you will get laid. It's like me telling an overweight, out-of-shape guy, "If you lose 50 lbs., exercise, and work out with weights 2-3 times per week, the amount of flattering attention you get from women is going to increase." Is the whole purpose of losing weight and/or improving your physique to get laid? No. It's to look better, feel better, and be healthy. But one of the top "fringe benefits" of having a better, more fit physique is that you will get more attention from women, and inevitably, you will get laid. Same with Mode One. When you communicate more directly and straightforwardly with women, you won't "always" get laid, but inevitably, you will. Having pussy thrown your way is just a natural byproduct of being Mode One. But getting some pussy can never be your sole, specific focus of Mode One. If it is, you will never consistently exhibit Mode One Behavior. Mode One is not really about "changing" who you are in order to attract women. If anything, it's just the opposite. It's about STOP trying to change who you naturally are in order to attract women. In other words, being Mode One is about eliminating all of your ineffective and/or invalid beliefs, habits, and attitudes related to dating that to this point, have held you back from being your REAL SELF with women. When you're truly Mode One, you don't have to "try to be" cocky. You will naturally be perceived as "cocky" by many women because you truly don't give a fuck what their opinions are of your behavior. You don't have to "try to be funny," because you will naturally become more 'witty' with women as a result of being calm, cool, and relaxed around women. I sense that you're attaching too much emphasis to "getting laid," and that will hurt you in the longrun. All men have an inner sense of "wittiness" about them. You just have to unleash yours. I've had guys tell me, "I'm not funny..." or "I'm not really charming or charismatic...." or "My sense of humor is sort of corny....", and then I will hang out with them, encourage them to be more Mode One, and I will notice that they will naturally have a more confident, energetic, and 'witty' personality. It's not so much some men have wittiness, and other guys don't. It's more so a case of some guys reveal their sense of wittiness, while other guys keep theirs hidden. You can talk to women when they're around other women. I've done it. In most cases though, I just tone down the language. I express myself in a PG-13 manner instead of X-rated. But my objective and intent remains the same. This is why I warn guys: Mode One is not "instant seduction magic." For some guys, it CAN BE ... but I would never guarantee it. You wanna know when Mode One does work like 'magic??' Is when you're in the company of a woman who wants to have sex with you .... and you want to have sex with her .... but she's too afraid to give you an overt signal ... so you approach her, and say, "I think we should hook up in the near future and exchange orgasms." Right then and there, Mode One will seem like a "magic trick."
But if you're expecting Mode One to work like that with even women who are not attracted to you or interested in you in the least bit, it's not gonna happen. I won't even begin to mislead guys that it will. Let's put it this way: If I put you in a room with ten (10) women, who saw a picture of you, and listened to a video of you talking, and all ten determined that they were just not interested in you .... then you could go up to all ten of those women and be "Mode One" with them, and you're still not going to get laid. That's just the harsh reality. This is when Mode One is the most beneficial and effective: Again, let's say you're in a room with ten (10) women. Two of the women are interested in you, and have no problem letting you know this. Two of the women are not interested in you, and have no problem letting you know this. (These first two groups are the 'easy to figure out' women) Three of the women are interested in you, but for whatever reason, they're trying to "pretend" as though they're not. Another three women are not interested in you, but are trying to "pretend" as though they are in order to mislead you, manipulate you, and get you to offer them a free meal, a free concert ticket, or a free movie ticket. How would you go about identifying the women in the latter two groups?? This is where Mode One Behavior most comes into play. Unlike many authors/speakers/gurus, such as Mystery, I never make any "guarantees" to men concerning their ability to seduce women and/or get laid. Matter of fact, if you read my opening Introduction in my book, the first thing I basically point out is that my book is not a "How To Get Laid in Two Weeks or Less" type book. I have no desire to mislead men, or provide them with unsubstantiated "hype." My book is specifically about eliminating your fear of rejection, and diminishing your fear of criticisms and/or "negative reactions" from women. That is it. Again, for me, "getting laid" is more so a "fringe benefit" of being Mode One rather than it's specific objective. But I dare anyone on this message board, or any other message board or blog I've visited, to accuse me of offering "guarantees' that I haven't delivered on. I don't promise any men that after reading "Mode One," they will automatically become a top-notch ladies' man and/or prolific womanizer. I never have, and never will. The only two things I come close to "guaranteeing" with my principles is... 1) If you exhibit Mode One Behavior with women on a regular, consistent basis ... the idea of being rejected will no longer make you "afraid" of approaching women; 2) If you exhibit Mode One Behavior with women on a regular, consistent basis ... subjective criticisms, opinionated insults, and negative and/or unenthusiastic reactions from women will not prevent you from expressing your true thoughts, desires, interests, and intentions to women in a confident, forthright manner; Other than that, I "guarantee" very little, if anything.
I always tell guys ... here is how you can distinguish the valid advice from the "shady" advice: "Shady" / Questionable advice: - Author and/or Guru is advising you to do anything and everything to avoid "rejection" - Author and/or Guru is advising you to do anything and everything to prevent criticism(s) and/or adverse reactions - Author and/or Guru leads you to believe you can attract and/or seduce ANY WOMAN you meet - Author and/or Guru puts too much emphasis on deceitful tactics, psychological 'tricks' and 'gimmicks,' and/or misleading, manipulative behavior Quality / Valid advice: - Author and/or Guru makes it clear that you will ALWAYS experience some degree of rejection from women - Author and/or Guru makes it clear that [subjective] criticisms from women are not necessarily a 'bad' thing, and when you're being real with women, "adverse reactions" will happen, but they're no big deal in the long-run - Author and/or Guru makes it clear that you need to focus on results that are within your control (e.g., how you behave towards women, what you say to women; Not how they react or respond to you) - Author and/or Guru is realistic about your dating and seduction "success." You're never going to attract and/or seduce every woman you meet. You're probably not going to even attract and/or seduce 80-90% of the women you meet. You might have success with only 5% of the women you meet, 10%, 20%, or 35%. Any materials I come across (other than my own) that are realistic, honest, and emphasize nonmanipulative behavior, I generally tend to endorse and recommend. But if they have phrases like, "You will never be rejected again!!" or "You will be able to attract ANY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN you meet!!," then that's when I know the materials are bullshit. I don't know if I would say that I classify it as a "good thing" for a woman to behave as though I 'offended' her and/or 'insulted' her. I don't approach women with the specific intention of 'offending' them or 'insulting' them. I'm just all about expressing my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to them in a highly self-assured, upfront, specific, and unapologetically straightforward manner. The thing I say though is, many women who are "Wholesome Pretender" types and/or "Erotic Hypocrite" types are generally going to respond to you as if you've just 'offended' them to test you to see if you really have balls, or if you're pretending to have balls. My main thing is, I feel like many "positive" reactions from women are overrated, and many adverse reactions and responses are misleading and feigned. Bottom line, just because you converse with a woman in a manner that has her smiling, laughing at your jokes, and generally causes her to be very pleasant and friendly towards you does not necessarily mean she's going to date you, give you some pussy, or suck your dick.
ON DAVID X Ever since I first started frequenting this message board, I've had various male posters compare many of my principles and philosophies to a guru named "David X." I wasn't really familiar with this guy, but finally one of the posters here supplied me with his 26-page E-Book/pamphlet. I will offer my thoughts on some of his key principles, beliefs, and philosophies. Page 1: QUOTE I lived on sex. And after I got tired of fucking any particular woman, I’d say, “My friend Bruno is coming over, and I want you to give him some head today.” Why do you think women are with pimps? Think about it! A pimp makes her fuck tons of guys and she is willing to do almost anything for him. Now, I don’t consider pimps to be model citizens, but they do understand something about women. And not only is she fucking for him, she is bringing him the money! Guys wouldn’t do that for a woman. As horny as we are, most of us wouldn’t do that, and if we did, we sure as hell wouldn’t give her the money! But they do it for security. I've always considered most, if not all "pimps" to be masters of the art of having psychological power and influence over women. Think about it: Very few pimps "force" women to be with them. Most of them don't hold a 'gun to their head' to make them stick around. The vast majority of pimps' whores want to be with them, and make money for them. That is true power. Back in the late 80s and early-to-mid 90s, I used to 'pimp out' women. Not really for ca$h. But like David X gave the example of telling the women to give his friend 'Bruno' some head. I would do shit like that. "I want you and your girlfriend Tanya to have a threesome with my friend Sean...." Many women I knew would do that shit for me. Many women like to be 'pimped out.' QUOTE Decide what you want and go get it. Somebody recently asked me what I want for my children. I want my kids to have enough confidence to do what they want with their lives, and to be happy. Isn’t that what you want? I’m on the road of life, and I know where I’m going. If she wants to come with me, then she is welcome. I’m not going down her road, I’m going down my road. When I’m talking to a woman, she is in my restaurant, looking at my menu. And the menu isn’t going to change, unless I want it to change. Totally agree with everything he said here. Page 2: QUOTE [women] like bad boys. Remember that Seinfeld episode when George was the bad boy? He decided to do the complete opposite of what he had always done, and all of a sudden he had more women than ever! It’s a fact that women like bad boys. A lot of them even admit it. This is funny! I use that same episode from Seinfeld when I'm talking to many guys about being Mode One. I remember that episode vividly. And what he said about women liking 'bad boy' types
is very true. QUOTE Now, every once in a while, and especially as you learn to develop this attitude, a woman will tell you that she loves you. If you say, “I love you too", then you're fucked! You might as well chop off your dick and hand it to her. He who loves least controls the relationship. If you want to control the relationship, don't fall in love with her so quickly! Don't toss the ball in their court, control the ball at all times. And you've got to be relentless -- you can't afford to be lazy. Remember, the person who loves the least controls the relationship. I have only said, “I love you" to two women in my life. I married them both. I tell them, “When I tell a woman that I love her, it's because I'm also putting a ring on her finger." Yep. Agree with this too. QUOTE When you set a precedent you have to stick to your guns. If you tell her no, then later on for whatever reason you allow her, she will view you as weak. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. Stop making excuses and stop making exceptions. When you set a precedent you can't go back. Every male poster on this forum should write this down, and post it on their walls. This is so true, it's not even funny. QUOTE Now, when she steers the conversation toward sex for example, I'll say something like, "You seem to have sex on your mind more than I do." Or I’ll say, "I don't want to talk about sex right now." When she asks why, I’ll say, "Because I only like talking about sex when I know I'm going to be getting some." Now when she brings up sex again I know I've got her! You always want to lead the conversation right from the beginning. I like to tell them that maybe we won't get that far (sex). Because after I get to know her, I may not want sex from her. I tell women that I'm not sure if I want to sleep with them yet, I tell them, "We'll see--let me get to know you first." Don't they do that to us? I'm just doing what they do. When you tell a woman that you don't know if you want to sleep with her, she will love your confidence. Women want a confident guy who knows what he wants. This is one area where he is kinda, sorta different from me. Usually, I'm the first person to bring up sex in the conversation. QUOTE When you have stables, when you have 4 or 5 girlfriends at once, Valentine’s Day can be a real bitch because they all want to be with you on Valentines Day. I used to give them all the same card. I went out and bought a box of Valentine’s Day cards and they were all exactly alike. And if I was still with a woman the next year, I gave her the exact same card again. Sometimes they would complain and I’d say, “Can you imagine how hard I looked to find the exact same card, because it’s the only card that can adequately express how I feel about you.” Hey, I’m a romantic guy! I’m not lying. I said, “Can you imagine?” I don’t lie, but I don’t reveal everything either. Now his philosphies are sort of starting to differ from mine. I'm not into the manipulative 'head games' routine. Anytime I've had four or five sex partners at one time, they all knew that I was
fucking three or four other women. That's just how I roll.
Page 3: QUOTE When I want women to do things for me, whether it be sexual or anything at all, I don’t ask them, I tell them. But I do it in a very charming way. I don’t say, “May I please buy you a drink?” I say, “What are you drinking?” I don’t ask her out on a date. I say something like, “I want you to have dinner with me tonight.” Get it? I’m not asking and I’m not demanding. I’m telling them what I want in a confident and respectful manner. I’m showing them what’s on the menu. I generally agree with this. QUOTE You can’t treat a hot one like she’s a hot one, and you can’t treat her like you’re not trying to treat her like she’s a hot one and maybe she knows that you know. Read that again, just to make sure it sinks in. Because if you do that you’re ignoring her because she’s hot. Treat them all the same, no matter what they look like. And remember that while you think she’s hot, I may think she’s ugly. Ditto. QUOTE You can’t be thinking for her. Let her do that. Think for you. Instead of thinking, ”What does she want?” think about what you want and only you. Do it honestly and completely. What will happen is it will teach you something more valuable than money and more valuable than technique. It will teach you honesty. That's part of the essence of my "Mode One" Book. Page 4 QUOTE Women are constantly testing us. I really believe that. Children test you to see how far they can go, and women are the same. Being with children can teach you a lot about how you should be with a woman. As soon as you give in, you lose. You’ve failed the test. Any psychiatrist will tell you that. Because if you’re willing to give in now, then you’ve just demonstrated that you’ll also give in later. Once you’ve set an example of something, it’s too late. If you give in now you’re making your life more difficult later on. I'm tough with kids, but they love me. My sons friends love me, I’m like the Pied Piper. Why? Because the rules aren’t hard to follow when I live by them also. Fellas, David X is right on the money with this. I say this to guys all of the time. You have to treat women, to a certain extent, like kids. If you let them have their way all of the time, they become spoiled, and you can't control them. You have to be hardline. Robert Beck a.k.a. "Iceberg Slim" said the same thing in his book, "PIMP: The Story Of My Life." He said, "women will literally test you on a weekly, if not daily basis. They're always looking out for that ONE DAY when they've identified your weaknesses and insecurities." You have to always be on top of your game.
QUOTE What if she just wants to be friends? What if she’s not ‘over’ her ex? You either fuck her or you don’t. It’s black or white. There can’t be any brown, gray, or blue. You’re not immortal. If she’s not ‘ready’, it usually means, “Stick around for now until I find something better.” If her favorite rock star asked her out, do you think she would say, “I’m washing my hair tonight”? She would probably make time for him! If she’s not making time for you, that’s ok. Somebody else will. There’s 6 billion people on the planet, and half of them are lonely women. And a funny thing happens when you just say ‘ok’ and walk away effortlessly. Suddenly she may change her mind. If she does, great. Let her chase after you for a while. You have to realize that their cunts aren’t more valuable than our cocks. We're both after the same thing -- each other. Agreed. Page 5: Not too much at all on Page 5 that I disagree with. Page 6: QUOTE You have to be in control of every interaction. It’s my way or the highway. For example, if a woman asks you a question that makes you uncomfortable, don't answer it. You are under no obligation to do anything that you don't want to do. Be a man, and she will respect you for it, even if she seems all upset. Just say,"I don't want to answer that question." When she asks why, just turn it around and say, "you don't have any secrets from me?" What if she says, "Oh I can't tell you"? Fine. That means it works both ways. If she doesn't want to tell me something, I'm not gonna beg her to tell me. See, we all have the right to keep secrets, and it works both ways. The way I see it, if she doesn't want to tell me something, that just makes it easier for me to hold secrets. She can have all the secrets she wants. You have to be in control but not controlling. That means being in control of yourself. If you freak out on her because she's withholding information, then you're essentially telling her that you own the rights to her thoughts. I see all these dumb guys arguing with their women. I don't argue with them. She can do whatever she wants and so can I. You see, if you argue with them then you're a pussy. Totally agree. QUOTE "But what will she think?" Who cares. Stop worrying about getting rejected. Be ruthless. Have the balls to say and do whatever the fuck you want to say and do. David X and I are pretty much exactly alike when it comes to the principles he's encouraging on Page 6 of his e-book. I didn't find anything on this particular page that I disagree with. Page 7: A lot of the stuff David X says related to "Bitches" is different from my attitudes towards women. I
don't really like to refer to women as "bitches." That's almost a 'victory' for the women. Men only call women "bitches" when those women have caused them anger, frustration, and bitterness ... or, when they allowed those women to manipulate them and/or disrespect them. I like this quote though: QUOTE Why does a guy want a hot chick? Because she becomes his trophy, and he can show her off to his buddies. Let's face it, she might be nice to look at, but when the lights go out and night and you are fucking her, that pretty face doesn't mean shit. Her mouth might mean something, and how nice her lips are around your dick, but the way she looks is irrelevant at this point. The only thing that matters when you're in bed is how good she makes you feel, the way she moves, the way she sounds, and the way she tastes. I agree with this totally. QUOTE I don't chase after women! I don't beg, I don't try to please them. Guys are always worried if they're good-looking enough. My attitude is hey, "My dick is better than his dick. Taste them both-you'll see!" Guys, just let the women worry about their own looks. They're good at it. Looks mean nothing. I agree with 90% of what he said. I don't know if I totally agree that "looks mean nothing." I still think you should try to take decent care of your physique. I'm all about looking well-groomed and healthy. But I agree that you don't have to look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt to be successful with women.
QUOTE Now, these broads that want to lead you around by the nose, as soon as they start to lead you, as soon as they decide when and what, you're going to be in trouble because it's not her role. If you give the woman in the relationship all your power, if you give her the steering wheel, you will crash. You can never allow yourself to become a woman's "bitch" and/or "Beta Male." That relationship will never work out in the long-run. Page 8: QUOTE If you want to get a girl back, try saying, "No matter how many girls I've been with, no matter how many girls I meet, all I see is your face instead of theirs. I need to see you again." That's it! Just say that and she is yours. Of course, if you were a real ass to her, if you treated her like shit, beat her up, acted like a pussy, if she caught you in bed with a MAN, then you probably should be on the Jerry Springer show. Otherwise it's easy. Not really feeling this paragraph of wisdom, but that's just me.
QUOTE Being romantic doesn't mean that you're weak. After you've got them, romance will keep them. You have to be her fantasy, her knight in shining armor. That takes hard work. Another way to get her back is to send a single red rose to her house, no name, no card. Wait a week, send another one. This time with a card, with no name, that simply says, "Whenever I see these flowers, I think of you, and I have to send you one." Then you send her a third flower. Write on the card, "No matter how many girls I see, I only see your face. Call me. 555-9087" She will call you because women love to hear "I'm thinking about you". I'm "so-so" on this quote. But I do believe you can be Mode One and be romantic. Page 8 wasn't as good to me as some of the previous pages. Page 9: QUOTE As a commodity, men don't look at the statistics. Men are more in demand than women are. They make us think it's the other way around, but it's not! But we're stupid, we think with our peckers. Steve "The Dean" Williams and I talked about this on a recent Internet radio/podcast show. This is very true. There are more single women out in society than there are single men.
QUOTE They want a strong guy that makes them feel secure. Physical strength is irrelevant. You need to be mentally strong and know what you want to do in life. You need to be decisive. Totally agree. Remember what I say in my book: Mode One = Strong & Effective Behavior Mode Two = Weak, but usually Effective Mode Three = Weak & Ineffective Mode Four = Strong, but usually Ineffective QUOTE You should know what you want out of life and not be afraid to go get it. Women find this very attractive. This is very, very true. QUOTE Guys ask me all the time how to deal with a girlfriend that flirts with other guys. Usually what they do is tell her to stop it. That rarely works, because she will think that you are too insecure. If your girlfriend is flirting with other men, then you should be picking up other women. If she's hunting then you should be hunting. And if she complains, tell her to fuck off. Tell her that if she wants to flirt, then you are going to flirt. I've even gone as far as to leave with another woman right in front of her. Why wouldn't I? It's the smart thing to do. If your girlfriend is constantly flirting with other men, that usually means one of two things: a) she's
trying to make you jealous and/or b ) she just flat-out doesn't respect you, and could care less if you break up with her. If it's "a," then I would just ignore it. I would never whine or complain about it. If it is "b," then it is time to end that relationship. Simple as that. Page 10: QUOTE Now, I know a lot of guys that are willing to hang out with women and pretend to be their friend and chase after them and follow them around to go shopping. I knew a guy who traveled half-way around the world to be a lady’s friend! And he would watch her get dolled-up to go out and sleep with other guys but couldn’t do anything because they were ‘friends’. He was, of course, secretly in ‘love’ with her, but was afraid to be himself I guess. Classic Mode Three Behavior. QUOTE Here is a big problem that a lot of you guys have. You talk about companionship. You talk about wanting to have a relationship with a woman, and then you talk about hot chicks, and how many you can or can’t get. Which do you want?? You have to go down Road Definite. You have to be congruent about whatever it is that you want, especially with women. I've told guys this on this message board. When I first meet a woman, I always know what I want from them. Always. I can't relate to guys who say that "I don't know what my interests are" when they first meet a woman. 99.9% of the time, when I first meet a woman, I want to fuck them non-monogamously. That is always my "starting point" objective. To fuck them without being in a relationship with them. Then, as I get to know them better, there is always the possibility that my interests in them may change. For example, I might decide after knowing them for a about 4 or 5 weeks that I now want a 'serious', long-term, monogamous relationship with them. There is nothing wrong with modifying your interests towards a woman as you develop more chemistry with them. But again, when I first meet a woman ... all I want to do is fuck them (on a regular or semiregular basis) without being in a relationship with them. Page 11: QUOTE I got so bored, and it was so easy that I started telling women that I worked for the CIA. The danger turns them on. I used to say, “Call me from the phone booth, and whatever you do, do NOT call me from your house!” I had one woman wait for me at a phone booth for four straight hours! Not feelin' this tactic. QUOTE When it comes to women, never underestimate the power of denial. He drinks, he is angry, violent, treats her like shit, and even after all that she can convince herself that he loves her, and she stays. Women are actually willing to lie to themselves about the men they are with. Guys do it too, but women definitely beat us in that department. She stays for his strength, for the security she feels when she’s with him. I would never dream of physically hurting a woman, and I’ve never hit a
woman. I don’t need to. I hit them with honesty, trust and respect, and that works a lot better than a punch in the nose. I don't think I've ever in my life had to resort to hitting a woman. QUOTE If you offend a girl by being “too honest” and you sense she is turned off then you will need to handle it. One way is to say, “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” and she will usually calm down and say something like, “That was pretty rude” and then I’ll lower my voice completely and say, “Well I really wasn’t kidding”. (Laughter) You can test them like they test you. “Wanna fuck?” and if she responds well you take her home and if she gets all pissy you tell her how you’re just kidding. Actually…no. I’m not kidding! This is one that you can always come back to. Just kidding…no I’m not. You always keep control of the situation. Control is vital. If she says, “Get the fuck away from me”, you leave. You’ll find that getting rejected rarely happens when you get out there and start being honest to women. We have different opinions on this issue. I never act like I'm "joking" about anything I say, no matter how 'offended' or 'insulted' a woman acts like she is. I say what I say, in the manner that I want to say it, and if a woman doesn't like it, so the fuck what. QUOTE I don’t argue with them, because it’s my way or the highway. If you get defensive you’re actually giving up control. I agree with this 100%. I don't believe in exhibiting behavior towards women that is too apologetic and/or too defensive. "Arguing" with women is pointless. QUOTE If the relationship starts to get too fucked up, i.e., the sex isn’t worth the hassle, don’t waste your time trying to repair the relationship, just leave! Don’t waste your time. Totally agree. QUOTE We all have different tolerance levels for how much crap we are willing to take in our relationships. I have a low tolerance for bullshit. I want what I want and I am unashamed by it. Yep, yep. Page 12: QUOTE When you start to develop more and more self-honesty in yourself, you’ll start to feel better, and when you start feeling better, the women will notice. You won’t believe the responses you’ll get from them! Honesty is a scary thing, and some of them can’t handle the truth. Very true.
QUOTE They all say they want to meet a guy who’s honest, yet they can’t handle honesty. It's ironic. I like that. It puts me in the driver’s seat. You’re probably not getting them now, so how much less could you be getting them? Take a fucking chance. Try being totally honest with women. Mode One Baby. Page 13: QUOTE People ask, "Did you tell your girlfriends about each other?" And that's a good question. Now, early on in my life I discovered that women never believe what you tell them anyway, so you might as well tell them the truth. See, women are masters of self-deception. If they ask, "What did you do last night?" and you respond, "I went out with another girl", she’ll just say, "Yeah, what did you really do last night?" The truth shall set you free. Nothing more effective than confident, straightforward honesty.
QUOTE One of their biggest complaints is that guys don't communicate with them. 90 percent of what therapists and divorce lawyers hear is, "There's no communication". So, what's the smart thing to say to women? That you like to communicate. Effective communication is everything. QUOTE If a woman doesn't want you because you're a man, then she doesn't want you at all. And if you're afraid of being an honest man, then you're not ready to be successful with women. This is very, very, very important to remember. QUOTE I cannot stress the importance of being honest and upfront with the woman enough, especially in the beginning of the relationship. The essence of Mode One. Page 14: QUOTE If you don’t care what she thinks, then your fears are gone. And if you truly believe that you are the most important person in the relationship, then you start to take responsibility for your own life. It forces you to be strong, decisive, honest and congruent. What you decide is up to you. I’m not telling you to be me, I’m telling you to be you.
Agreed.
QUOTE When you want seafood, and you go out to a restaurant, and they don’t have seafood on the menu, you leave. Same thing. If a slut doesn’t have what I want on her menu, I don’t try to accommodate her. I don’t care! That made me laugh. QUOTE When you’re trying to pick up a chick, no matter what you do, you can ONLY GAIN. You can’t have less than zero. If you care what they think of you, then you can’t go further. And if you can’t be honest and straightforward about what you want, you can’t succeed with women. This whole book is just a way of explaining the two rules. It always comes back to the two basic rules. If you can integrate those two rules into your life, it frees you from Fear Prison. Good stuff. QUOTE Don’t get involved in all of her little dramas. One of the reasons they are looking for a man is because men are supposed to be more emotionally stable than women. Men are a lot more logical (sometimes) and less emotional than women are. We’re supposed to be strong for them. They don’t want a pussy, they want a strong man. Not a macho man, not an asshole, they want a strong guy. How do you make yourself strong? By not caring what they think. By knowing that no matter what happens, the most important person you need to look out for is you. More solid, good advice. No disagreements from me.
Page 15: QUOTE When you really start succeeding with women, some of them are going to try to give you a hard time about it. But if you truly don’t care what they say then you’re free from all that shit. If a broad tries to give you a hard time about anything, the worst thing you can do is get defensive and try to convince her of your sincerity. Yep, yep. QUOTE I don't care about what anybody thinks of me. I love the way I am. I like myself. I have evolved into the kind of person that I like, and if I were a woman, I would want to be with me very much. You have to learn to make your rules and stick to them no matter what. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile. Be relentless. Don't make excuses, don't get lazy, and don't make exceptions.
One of the best paragraphs in the e-book so far. QUOTE I once dated a girl who told me that she only lets her boyfriends fuck her 12 times a year. She actually told me this seriously! She said that if a guy is smart, he will fuck her once a month, because if he uses up his 12 fucks right away, he will have to wait until the next year to get sex again! So, I fucked her 4 times a day for three days and then I said goodbye. She asked, "Where are you going?" I told her that since I had already used up my twelve tickets, then there was no point in sticking around any longer. I told her that it was OK, that I respected her rules and wasn't going to ask for another fuck, and after all, did she really expect me to beg? She ended up chasing me for the next five years. Why? Because I make the rules, not them. LMAO! That was funny.... QUOTE I don't care what they think. I'm not getting into relationships to make women happy, I do what I want on my terms otherwise it's goodbye. And the paradox is that it's my kind of attitude makes them go crazy for you. They want a strong man, they don't want a pussy. Think for yourself. They are testing you and trying to wrap you around their little fingers, and as soon as you get lazy, as soon as you start making exceptions to your own rules, they lose respect for you. So true. So, so true. I basically express the same thing in my Mode One book. QUOTE Never ever kiss a woman's ass. Amen. QUOTE You don't have to deliberately act like a jerk to get women. It's sad because a lot of guys believe that. This is true. I don't believe in "purposely" acting like a "jerk" and/or an "asshole" to get women. That doesn't work. Just know what you want, and stick to it. I would generally agree with Vin DiCarlo's rules. I know in my own life, things have rarely worked out for me in the long-run with women when my initial, specific objective was to have a long-term, monogamous, romantic relationship with a woman. The best long-term relationships I've had were when the women basically had to "talk me into" having a relationship. They had to pretty much "persuade me" to be monogamous with them. So again, I rarely pursue women (initially) for long-term relationships. When I first meet a woman, I'm all about the pussy. Either a one-night stand, weekend fling, a few weeks/months of casual sex fun, or indefinite/long-term non-monogamous sex.
Truthfully, I don't see how any man can approach a woman and "immediately" want a long-term relationship with them. That woman can be hard to get along with, have low moral character, not want to have kids, or have "issues" with her own family members. I have to "get to know a woman" before I even remotely think about having a serious relationship with them. For casual sex, all I need to know is that they're attractive, that they don't have obvious signs of being a psychotic 'stalker' type, and that they don't have any STDs. Everything else is gravy. Pimps can be misogynists, but not always. A misogynist is someone that has a certain degree of hatred and/or a fundamental disrespect towards women as people. There are many pimps that love and adore women. I wouldn't call a man a misogynist simply by virtue of being a pimp though.
