W
E E K
I
GETTING INTO THE SWING
DAY 1 MOTIVATION FOR YOUR SUCCESS
Monday
sn’t it funny how music can change your mood? Whenever I hear the Mark Morrison song “Return of the Mack” I can’t help
but feel a rush of awesomeness as I remember a summer from a few years back, when Zack and I did our “30 Day Challenge”— going out 30 nights straight to meet and attract women. In some ways, music is like an “emotional bookmark” that helps motivate us and remind us of a certain time in our lives. And since the next 28 days are going to be such a crucial and amazing period of your life, you should have a soundtrack to remind as well as motivate YOU of your adventures. So, to kick off your new success with women, I want you to assemble a “28 Day Playlist.” Pick 5-10 songs that personify the life you want to live and the man you want to become. I want you to bump to these tunes CONSTANTLY. You should cycle through this playlist again and again, throughout these 28 days. If you want to read how I assembled my playlist, check out the appendix (1A). Once you have your jams bumping, I want you to create a Word file on your computer titled “My_28_Days_to_Success”. This file will record each day of your journey toward dating hotter girls. I’d highly recommend you post your entries on the private forum we’ve set up just for you and guys like you. This way, you can stay motivated and get pointers from a community of likeminded, inspired men. For today, title your entry, “Day 1: The Value of MY Success”. To get leverage on yourself on yourself and commit to sticking with the next 28 days, I want you to write a paragraph of where you came from. Think about your past crushes/girlfriends, regrets, and successes. Next, write a second paragraph about where you’re at now. Write about your current views, your fears, and your strengths. What are you most proud of and what do you most want to change?
Finally, write out a closing paragraph about where you want to be. Imagine the coolest, most attractive man possible and describe his behavior. Don’t only focus on obvious things, like body language and confidence; get to the heart of this “character”: How would he respond if a girl rejected him or blew him off? How would react if another guy starting acting like a dick to him? What would he do if he said something stupid or did something clumsy? In The 4 Elements of Game, you’ll read that being attractive is NOT about being perfect. Therefore, don’t write a paragraph describing the “perfect” ladies’ man—someone you might see in a Hollywood movie. Instead, write how you’d imagine a REAL ladies’ man, combining behaviors you’ve seen in guys’ you have admired. Once you have your 3 paragraphs, I want you to take inventory of how you spend your day. Are there certain activities that are wasting your time and energy? Of course there are. We all have such “time killers” that sap us of our motivation. Therefore, to stay motivated, I want you to give up AT LEAST 3 nonproductive activities. Some examples are: • • • • • • •
Watching t.v. Playing video games Masturbating Looking at porn Surfing the Internet Talking to friends who are not supportive Excessive sleeping
And you can probably add a few more to that list. I know giving up these activities might be hard, but THAT’s the price for success. You can’t stay stuck in your old habits and still upgrade your dating life.
You’ll read in the opening chapters of The 4 Elements of Game that getting better with women is NOT an epic process. You won’t need to humiliate yourself or spend months feeling awkward and weird; HOWEVER, you WILL need to make some changes. Even though those changes will vastly improve the quality of your life, THEY MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE AT FIRST. But if you want these 28 days to be a success, you MUST replace those life-draining activities with new (more awesome) habits. Therefore, I want you to COMMIT to either giving up completely or seriously reducing ANY activity that saps your motivation. For example, if you masturbate every day, I want you to cut it back to ONCE a week (max). Moreover, I’d recommend NOT watching t.v. or playing video games AT ALL. After these 28 days, you can go back to those activities if you’d like. For now, you have to pay a price for your success—up front. So to recap, today you’re: • • •
Making a “Player Playlist” of songs to keep your motivated Writing out three paragraphs that chart your progress and goals Committing to cut out 3 life-draining activities
If there’s any time left, go out and do something physical like run or lift weights. This will increase your masculine drive and keep you active. Also, try to read up to the end of Part I of The 4 Elements of Game. Once you’re done, rest up. Tomorrow the fun begins. P.S. When setting up your journal, give it a cool title. That way it’ll make you excited to update it each day. (Also, if you post it on our forum, it’ll attract more attention so you’ll get more comments and feedback.)
P.P.S. Feel free to write more than a paragraph for each phase of your life. Personally, I found this exercise to be crucial when I did it, so I wrote out pages and pages of memories and past experiences. So, if you get into the writing, don’t stop at three paragraphs!
DAY 2 GETTING YOU DRIVE, BABY!
Tuesday
ope you got some rest because today we’re going to exercise your drive. You’ll read all about the DRIVE element in Part II of The 4 Elements of Game, but it’ll ONLY make sense if you actually go out and experience the RUSH of expressing your drive to the world. To begin, write a paragraph in your journal about something you’ve done that seemed difficult beforehand, but you committed yourself to, and you’re glad you did. It might be going to the gym, going to college, or taking on a challenging project. Really give this some thought and concentrate on the specific details (e.g., how you felt, how your mindset changed, etc.). I know it may sound like another useless writing exercise, but TRUST ME by remembering SPECIFIC details you will recall HOW your mindset shifted. For most of us guys, we NEED a mindset shift to get in touch with our natural drive. You may have already read in our book that obstacles sometimes stand between you and your natural drive. If you’ve ever hesitated or chickened out of approaching a hot girl, you know this first-hand. A major goal of this 28-day journey is to get you PERFECTLY in tune with your drive. It’s one of your sexiest features and it’s ALREADY within you. We just need to remove the obstacles that stand between YOU and YOUR drive—which are the obstacles that stand between YOU and THAT hot girl!
Once you finish your paragraph and reread it thus reminding yourself of things you’ve done that you NEVER regret—even when they seemed challenging.
So today you’re going to approach a hot girl exuding PURE drive. You’re going to leave your house and go wherever there are hot women. It’s a Tuesday, so bars and nightclubs may not be an option. Go to a bookstore, a mall, a clothing shop...hell, you could even go to a woman’s shoe store. The location DOESN’T matter. ALL that matters today is that you express your PURE and SHAMELESS drive. Still with me? Okay, cool. So once you spot THE girl (and you KNOW the one I’m talking about!), you march up to her SHAMELESSLY. You let NOTHING go through your head OTHER than the SHEER HOTNESS of this girl. If you start thinking too much, remember the credo from the book, “PUT YOUR PIMP FOOT FORWARD, THE OTHER ONE WILL FOLLOW.” Just moving that ONE foot forward might be the HARDEST part of these 27 days—but you’ve GOT to TRUST ME. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO DATE HOTTER GIRLS. I went through it. Zack went through it. All our students went through it. But I can’t move that pimp foot for you. THAT’S UP TO YOU. So just put one foot forward and clear your mind. Just CONCENTRATE ON THE GIRL! She MOVES you, doesn’t she?! GOD, LOOK AT HER!!! GO FOR IT! As you walk up to her, look INTO her eyes. Be SMILING. Part of becoming shameless is mastering the “shameless grin.” You can probably imagine what it looks like: it’s that perfect mix of CONFIDENCE and HUMOR. So get a smirk on your face, hold eye contact, and walk RIGHT up to her. If there are people standing around her, IT DOES NOT MATTER. If she looks “busy,” IT DOES NOT MATTER. If
anything happens that sidetracks your approach, IT DOES NOT MATTER. Again, ALL that matter today is that you DO THE APPROACH. One approach! And it only has to last 10 quick seconds. SO STAY FOCUSED, STAY ON TASK! Once you get her attention, express EXACTLY how you feel. If you were moved to talk to her, tell her. “Wow, I just had to come meet you.” If you can see you and her sitting down for coffee together, tell her. “Hey, I saw you and I just had to see if I could convince you to join me for a cup of coffee.” Even if you’re nervous, tell her. Now keep in mind, if you’re doing this in the daytime, the tension is going to increase FAST. Remember the cycle of “tension and release” explained in the introduction. Most guys think this tension is “bad” or “awkward.” But it ONLY becomes awkward if you don’t know WHAT TO DO WITH IT. Once you read the book, you’ll learn that MORE TENSION = MORE RELEASE. So in this situation, once you FEEL the tension your drive generates, you want to quickly balance it with INSPIRATION or CONNECTION. (Even though it’s not necessary for today’s assignment, I’m mentioning it to increase your chance of getting the hot girl.) If you nothing comes of this approach, IT’S NOT BIG DEAL. By just approaching ONE GIRL with drive, you’ve learned 1.) you NEVER regret approaching, 2.) what TENSION feels like, 3.) how it FEELS to express your DRIVE. Reading this in an email sounds easy and you’re probably thinking, “Of course I can approach ONE girl with drive for 10 seconds!” So REMEMBER that attitude when you see your girl today. These 27 days are coming to you as EMAILS that are designed to IMPROVE your success dramatically. While the assignments often only take a few minutes a day, it’s VITAL that
you DO EACH ASSIGNMENT, EACH DAY. Only then will this supplement the book. Try to remember ALL the details of the approach, especially HOW YOU FELT before, during, and after the approach. Also, take note of how she responds. Were you comfortable with the tension your drive created, or were you “ashamed” of it? If you felt ANY inkling of “shame,” you’re going to READ ALL ABOUT the benefits of being SHAMELESS. But for now, let’s review today’s assignment: 1.) Write about an activity that appeared challenging, but you did anyway, and you DON’T regret 2.) Approach ONE hot girl with DRIVE for 10 seconds 3.) Write about the experience in your journal Alright, get to it! Best, Rob & Zack P.S. Don’t forget to write the descriptive details of how you felt WHEN the girl was in front of you. A BIG lesson from this exercise is getting you to FEEL social tension (and understand HOW it affects you and the women you approach).
DAY 3 INTRODUCTION TO INSPIRATION
Wednesday
ow are you feeling? Hopefully not too exhausted from tapping into that RAW and UNSTOPPABLE drive yesterday! Today we are going to get your inspiration flowing. As the book explained, inspiration is a PASSIVE energy. Inspiration compliments the drive that you unleashed yesterday, and RELEASES all the TENSION that was a product of your driven expression. I remember when Rob and I first discovered the power of drive and began using it to approach girls. We experienced a LOT of success from that one simple element. What we learned was that driven men who are not afraid to go find out the TRUTH (is she
single, in a relationship, fun, boring, etc.), and are willing to simply ask for what they want get RESULTS. Rob and I began approaching every girl we saw using nothing but this strong driven energy. Sometimes we would get great results and wind up with girls for the night, but other times girls just weren’t interested. For a while we just shrugged it off. It was just too easy to rely on the drive element, and we got lazy. We knew that all it took was another approach or two before we had our hotties for the night.
Eventually the girls that were slipping through the cracks started to bother us. Not because we’re egotistical, but because it was the hottest of the hot girls that were not into our approach. While we had no problem getting the 8’s, when we would approach the 9’s and 10’s they would not bite. It would go down the same every time - we would approach displaying a lot of drive, shamelessly sometimes, and they would not even look amused, like they could not even tell us the time of day. Looking back now, it was clear that that approach was FINE. Even though the girls didn’t respond perfectly, there was still plenty of TENSION. We simply didn’t know what to do with it from there. Finally it occurred to us what was happening - these girls are so used to being a magnet for driven men. So we began examining what we were lacking to become as attractive as possible to these stunning girls. And what did we find? That’s right...inspiration. Inspiration gives your drive balance. Inspiration RELEASES the TENSION created by your drive. But most importantly, inspiration gives the interaction substance and texture.
Inspiration is the element that guarantees you always know what to say, and you never run out of things to say to women. Unlike drive however, you cannot actively force you inspiration. The more you try to force your inspiration, the more your inspiration will allude you. Like you read in The 4 Elements of Game, inspiration is the celebration of you. Think about it, the more you try to be funny, the less people find you funny. It is because inspiration is PASSIVE. Meaning that if you want it to come out, you need to CHILL. That is why it is the exact OPPOSITE of drive. As such, you need to have enough to keep yourself balanced, but not too much or else you will overshadow all that drive that you discovered yesterday that is so attractive to women (in the right amount). So what’s the answer? Just open up and let out your inspiration. It’s that easy - DON’T THINK. Thinking is death to inspiration. An artist cannot reason his way to a masterpiece, and you cannot reason your way into a girls heart (or pants). Instead you must let your inspiration flow, and allow it to PASSIVELY intrigue the girl creating attraction. Today you are going to be doing 2 different exercises to help get your inspiration flowing: 1) Sing your favorite song to 3 strangers. This sounds absurd. The whole time you are doing this exercise you are going to be telling yourself how stupid this exercise is. You’re going to be thinking that you are an idiot for thinking an ebook can help you get girls, and that Rob and I are out of our minds if we think this will help you date hotter girls. PERFECT! That is exactly what should be happening. All those thoughts are the roadblocks that are holding you back from letting your inspiration flow at all times of the day. All those thoughts you are having are the ACTIVE barriers to you being constantly inspired. Since inspiration is PASSIVE, it cannot be forced.
You cannot do more to make it come out better. Instead all you can do is do less which eliminating all the things that bottle up your inspiration like over thinking something as simple as singing a song to a person you will never see again in your life. If this exercise is difficult for you it’s no big deal. But you have identified one of your biggest obstacles to dating the girls you really want to be dating. Simply focus more on cultivating that sense of inspiration, and developing that trust in yourself that allows you to just be YOU without questioning yourself so much. The trust that you have in yourself will be an important aspect as you interact with super hot girls. When Rob and I were developing our own inspiration we sang “All out of love” by Air Supply. If there is any song that should make you feel tense singing to a stranger it is an ‘80’s love ballad. However if you want to master your inspiration you must be certain to let it be PASSIVE and not TENSE. This means enjoy it and let it flow from your soul, do not force it! 2. Now it is time to put your inspiration into use! Your next mission for today is to approach a girl, but rather than relying on your drive, you are going to allow your inspiration to guide you. This means NOT thinking about what to say. Instead you should allow the girl you see to spark your inspiration. What is it about her that you like? Her hair? Her style? Her energy? Whatever it is, there is something about her that has generated your interest. Let this guide your approach. Comment on her shoes, hairstyle, smile, whatever. The point is, you are not approaching today with any lines in mind. For that matter you should have nothing in mind today when you approach but this girl right in front of you, and whatever it is that caused you to experience attraction for her. Let these thoughts express themselves and do not try to force any outcome. Simply see where this conversation goes on its own, organically. Record exactly how you felt in you journal. Try to remember ALL the details of the approach, especially HOW YOU FELT
before, during, and after the approach. Also, take note of how she responds. Were you PASSIVE and allowed your inspiration to flow, or did you try to force it? Let’s review your missions: 1. Sing to 3 strangers 2. Approach 1 girl allowing your inspiration to flow naturally and guide you. Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 4 THE MECHANICS OF SUCCESS
Thursday
ow that you are starting to understand the balance
between inspiration and drive, it is time to introduce the third element - mechanics. Mechanics simply refer to the simple steps of “moving it forward” when you are interacting with a girl you like. Many people think of mechanics as pickup lines, tactics to create attraction, or techniques to infiltrate a group of girls out at the club. For our purposes however, (dating the hottest girls imaginable) mechanics are simply the proper steps to move it forward with a girl that you like, and knowing the right time to take that step. Like drive, mechanics require an ACTIVE energy, which requires you to do something to engage it. That something is called ‘pulling the trigger,’ and fortunately is very easy once you get the hang of it. Girls are so used to guys that do not move the interaction forward. This does two things, it sends her the message that you are not interested in a sexual relationship with her, and secondly it disappoints her that you are just another guy who is too scared to “make a move.” What really shocked Rob and I when we were first discovering this stuff, was not only that ‘pulling the trigger’ causes girls to be massively attracted to you, but also that you can ‘pull the trigger’ almost instantly in any interaction. What this means is that you can hold a girls hand, ask for her number, or even beginning kissing her SHOCKINGLY fast. The only thing that holds you back from ‘pulling the trigger’ is either 1) you are afraid of getting rejected; or 2) you are afraid of letting her know that you like her. Both of these fears are pretty funny actually, and you’re about to realize why. Firstly, if you fail to ‘pull the trigger’ then you have already rejected yourself and done all the work for her by
placing yourself in the friend-zone. She didn’t even have to THINK about it! Secondly, if you are afraid of letting her know that you like her, you need to SERIOUSLY re-read the drive section of The 4 Elements of Game. Your mission today is simple. You are to approach one girl and simply try to “close” her in under one minute. This means, getting her number, asking her on a date, or even getting a kiss. Rob and I can get a phone number from a girl in literally under 30 seconds, so one minute should be a good place to start. However do not worry if you don’t get the number. Rob and I can also get shut down in under 30 seconds as well! It is all about going for it! The point is not to even succeed in getting the number, although it will be a cool bonus! The point is to get in the habit of ‘pulling the trigger,’ or rather moving the interaction forward. And moving it forward faster than the average guy, makes you more attractive than the average guy. If you have ever been cliff jumping you probably know that feeling that you get when you get to the top of the cliff and look down. You start thinking to yourself, ‘what the hell am I doing up here, this was such a bad idea, I shouldn’t do this.’ But once you jump off the first time, you realize that it wasn’t that bad. In fact it was kinda cool. Then the next time you get up on the cliff to jump it gets easier and easier. You become comfortable jumping off, and now you can add some style to it maybe even a swan dive. It is the same with putting the moves on a girl. At first you feel nervous because you don’t know how she will respond. But after you ‘pull the trigger’ you realize that regardless of the result, it wasn’t too bad. Probably really great!
Either way, you are now more comfortable to ‘pull the trigger’ next time when it counts, and you have all your elements in balance. Recap: 1. Approach 3 girls (either during day or night) and go for the number or date (or kiss!) in under one minute. 2. Document exactly what happened and how you felt in your journal That’s it! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 5 IT’S A FINE DAY TO CONNECT WITH BABES
Friday
eahhhhhh, it’s Friday! That means it’s hot, single girl season! I hope you’re ready to meet some amazing girls, because this weekend Zack and I are going to have you doing just that. So let’s move right into today’s assignment: connection. For those of you who haven’t read up to the connection part in The 4 Elements of Game, you’re probably rolling your eyes. (I know, I know, getting advice on how to “connect” with women sounds like some new age, feel good bullshit.) But trust me, learning how to make emotional connections is crucial if you want to attract mega-hot girls. It doesn’t matter if you want to be the pimp master that hooks up with a new girl every night or a guy who wants to settle down with one woman to enjoy a relationship, learning the “connection” element will be the “missing piece” in many guys’ game. Just a quick aside, the reason MOST guys who study dating and pickup material DON’T attract super hot women is they neglect the connection element. And, no, the connection element isn’t the same as “trust and comfort” from a certain New York Times bestseller. Instead, the connection element Zack and I advocate brings out your genuineness, authenticity, and natural ability to bond and connect with people. So leave your “identity grounding” routine at home and get ready to learn the TRUTH about emotional connections.
If you haven’t already read the connection section, go into the book’s Table of Contents and skim the chapter and section headers. You’ll notice connection focuses primarily on:
• • • • • • • •
Willingness to make mistakes Genuine compliments Shared emotions Storytelling Destroying the myth of perfection Understanding (real) rapport Knowing appropriate topics to connect over Balancing how much connection, how soon
It’s very important to understand that connection is PASSIVE. That means you should NOT “force” a connection. Guys force a connection whenever they display too much emotion, too fast. (And we’ve all done it at some point.) After these 27 days, you will perfectly understand how to let connections develop organically and naturally. Tonight you’re going to focus on the connection element on women, but first you’re going to “warm up” on someone close to you. When you have a half hour or so free, I want you to look through your phone and find a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while. Call them up and bond with them. When you’re dialing their number, don’t think to yourself: “I need to make a connection because Rob said so.” Instead, call with the mindset, “I can’t wait to hear how [this person] is doing.” For example, when I did this exercise, I called my friend Eddie. I haven’t heard from in a few weeks, as I’ve been busy with the launch of this product. As the phone was ringing before he picked up, I thought of all the fun times we shared in high school and college. My thinking was, “Oh man, I haven’t heard from Eddie in a while—I’ll bet he has some awesome stories to tell me!”
Once you get the person on the line, communicate your curiosity and interest in what they’ve been up to. You’ll probably find using the philosophy and tips from the connection helpful. For example, you might start off the conversation with some rapport over a news or pop culture event. Then you may transition into a longer story (using some of the storytelling tips) to give the conversation more depth. Most importantly, you should NOT be trying to make a “perfect” connection; RATHER your ONLY concern should be genuinely getting caught up with the person you called. A solid emotional connection usually takes at least a half hour, so try to keep the conversation going for at least that long. Oh, and try to give one genuine compliment, too. Don’t fake this either—really try to zero in on something the person is saying to compliment them on. Once you’ve done that assignment, I want you to go out and meet women. Since it’s Friday, most bars and nightclubs will be packed with hot women looking to meet cool guys they can connect with. Tonight you’re going to be one of those guys! Also, you don’t necessarily have to go to a nightclub. You can go to a mall, coffee shop, or anywhere else where you can meet women. The only requirement for today’s assignment is that you approach a minimum of 3 women. When you approach these women, you may want to start off displaying your drive, but quickly transition into making a connection. Treat her in the same way as the person you called— laid back and interested. Feel excited to meet and communicate that to her, either directly by telling her or indirectly by feeling genuinely curious about her.
If you approach 3 women with this attitude—especially after the mind-shifting you’ve just lived through—I guarantee at least one
of those girls will feel attracted to you. And once you notice she is, go for the number. So let’s go over your Friday review:
1. You’re going to call someone close to you and focus on connecting on them using the guidelines of the 4EG method 2. You’re going to out and approach 3 hot girls 3. You’re going to concentrate on making a connection with them 4. You’re going to try for at least one number I can’t WAIT to read your success on the forum ;) Best, Rob & Zack P.S. If you’ve been keeping up with the challenges, I KNOW this has been an emotionally exhausting and mind-changing week. But NO EXCUSES! Stick with the assignments and you’ll thank yourself at the end...I PROMISE!
DAY 6
THE TAO OF ATTRACTIVENESS
Saturday
amn, can you believe that is hasn’t even been a week since you started? For those who have been following the assignments day-by-day, you probably feel as if the last week has been a lifetime. Even though I hope you’re having fun and enjoying your new developing persona as a super attractive man, whenever you enact great change it seems as if time slows down. I believe it’s because you’re squeezing a lot of learning and experience into such a short period of time. Think about it: to overhaul your identity in 28 days, you are almost becoming a new person. While that process doesn’t need to be awkward or humiliating, it will take effort, discipline, and will power. I’m confident that you can do it though. And, if you’re reading these words, it probably means you’ve been kicking ass so far, staying on task. If you’ve been slacking a bit or missing an assignment here or there, now’s the time recommit to these 28 days! Just imagine the
guy you envisioned on the first day—you know that total ladies’ man we all want to become. NOW’S THE TIME TO BECOME THAT GUY! If you haven’t already read what I have to say on “Hope versus Reality” in the book, check it out. DON’T be the guy living in “hope” believing things will “one day” get better— LIVE IN REALITY TO MAKE YOU LIFE BETTER TODAY! This is an important note to start off Saturday morning because tonight we’re going to get you even CLOSER to your full ladies’ man transformation. Now we’re going to start combining elements and achieving balance. These coming days you’re going to start to become like COCAINE to women—they won’t be able to get enough of you. (But there will be no harmful side effects...) Today we’re going to talk about balancing your drive with your inspiration. In the book, I outlined the main points of these two elements, but I want to make the drive/inspiration axis even less abstract here so that you know EXACTLY how to use them effectively. Here are some real world examples where drive balances inspiration and vice versa: You approach a woman and say, “Hey, you look so cute over here that I just HAD to meet you.” As you say this you’re smiling and leaning back against the bar. (By “directly” stating your sexual interest in the women, you’re displaying DRIVE (it creates tension). But by having a smile on your face and relaxed body language you’re allowing INSPIRATION (it releases tension). You are flirting with a woman and joking around with her. After saying something that she finds really funny, you put your arm around her waist, pull her into you, and say, “You have a great sense of humor. That’s sexy.” (By flirting and joking around with her, you’re displaying INSPIRATION (creating a release). Once that INSPIRATION hits its peak (she’s laughing), you then escalate the situation by getting more physical and telling
her she’s “sexy” guided by your DRIVE (it reestablishes tension).
You’ve asked a woman to go back to your place. She said no, but she’s still visibly attracted to you. You flirt and chat with her for another 5 minutes then say, “Really, you’ve got to try one of these green apple martinis back at this after-hours club. It’s amazing. I’m like a VIP there: I drink for free, the DJ’s always spinning my favorite tunes, and I can even pass out there and no one cares!” She laughs and says, “Oh, what is this ‘after hours club,’ your apartment?” You look at her deadpan (managing reaction, inspiration section) and say, “Obviously. Come on!” (Asking a woman to come home with you creates a lot of tension from your honest DRIVE. Often women will “deflect” this tension a few times by refusing your invitation. If you can stay cool, chat for another 5 minutes, and then make a “joke” out of it, she experiences an amazing release from your INSPIRATION. A lot of times this is enough to counterbalance the tension and let her do what she really wants: go home with you.) Those examples are just three off the top of my head. To really master the 4-EG system, you must develop your sense of balance. Sit down and contemplate the “Tao” of pickup and dating. Think back to your BEST interactions: where was the tension? Where was the release? I’d recommend you write this exercise out. Give it some thought. Since tonight’s Saturday, the assignment is simple: approach 4 women. That’s it. The approaches can last 1 second or all night. It doesn’t matter, there’s just one catch... You MUST build tension and create a release AT LEAST once during the interaction. It could be as simple as opening her with drive balanced by a smile on your face, or as complex as
weaving tension and release in-and-out of the pickup throughout the night. Whatever route you take, remember that the approach DOES NOT count unless there is one cycle of tension and release.
So let’s go over what you’re doing tonight: 1.) You’re going to consider the cycle of tension and release, preferably writing out past experiences where such a cycle played out 2.) You’re going to out and approach 4 hot girls 3.) You’re going to inject at least one cycle of tension and release into the interaction Alright, go make it happen! Best, Rob & Zack
DAY 7 DISSECTING A NIGHT OUT
Sunday
ow’d last night go for you? Most of you probably hit the nightclubs hard, doing your 4 approaches. As you know, Zack and I are all about being effective, and so it helps to consider the “rhythm” of the night. (Great early ‘90s song!) I want you to consider how last night unfolded. Think of when you stepped it out, when you pussed out. Also, think about the
people around you were reacting. When were girls acting like bitches? When were they receptive? I want you to write up a quick summary ONLY focusing on the rhythm you observe. DO NOT READ ON UNTIL YOU DO THIS EXERCISE. Once you ponder that for a few a bit, consider my perspective: We all know bars and nightclubs are some of the best places to hone dating skills. Revolving flocks of women come and go as the dimly lit, alcohol-fueled nightlife generates an atmosphere that’s ideal for mingling and socializing. But while most nascent players have hit the barroom trenches to spit game, not all do so cognizant of the rhythm of the night. Some of the problems guys run into when meeting girls during “night game” relates to their inability to read the energy and vibe of the night. By understanding how a night unfolds, a guy can maximize every aspect of his dating success — from ensuring the numbers he gets convert into dates to consistently having a girl in his bed at the end of the night. One of the most important aspects of night game is having a goal. You should always know why you’re in the bar or club. Your goal may be to go home with a girl that night, get a number that you want to follow up with later, or just be social and talk to a lot of different people. Whatever your goal may be, it’s crucial you know what you want to accomplish since that dictates how you play to the night’s rhythm. However, while goals may vary, the way a night progresses is consistent almost everywhere. Having picked up girls in lots of cities and coached students in lots more, I’ve observed nights shift between three stages. While having an outline of when and how these stages unfold (as well as a list of do’s and don’ts), ultimately it’s more important to develop an intuition about what you should and shouldn’t be doing as the night develops. Get Happy Hour(s) When to when: First 40% of the night
Objectives: Get into a social mood, meet and greet, have fun with your friends, get buzzed, let people see you’re normal and social, motivate your buddies Faux pas: Acting a fool, being tacky make out guy, looking weird and/or creepy, asking girls to come home with you, grinding until your dick falls off Most nights begin with clusters of people socializing with the friends they came with. Usually you can identify “Get Happy Hour” because people are sober, there’s not much movement (i.e. people wandering around), and there’s no wait for the bathroom. At this point, breaking the ice and getting yourself into a social mood is all you really need to accomplish. Unless you have some reason for doing otherwise, don’t bounce from group to group with high-energy gaming. Remember, people are sizing up the room. While you may think you’re generating “social proof,” you’re really just coming off weird. People will wonder why you’re so quick to ditch your friends to talk to other people. For the first hour or so, I make getting caught up with my friends my top priority. I may bring other people into the conversation, but they’re always second to the fun vibe I’m creating with my friends. Face Time When to when: Second 40% of the night Objectives: Connect with girls you’re interested in, get numbers for future dates, screen girls for logistics for later (i.e. which girls might be down for an “after party” at your place), slowly turn up your sexuality, brief make outs, wing your buddies Faux pas: Spending too much time huddled with your buddies talking about girls but not talk to girls, running 20-second interactions then moving on to the next girl, not getting physical with girls, talking to girls about nerd topics As the night shifts into the second phase, people start getting bored of the friends they came with. If getting caught up was the
only thing people wanted to do, they would just stay home or go to a quieter place to talk. Fact is people go out to meet new people. This is obvious if you observe what starts happening about halfway through the night. As the drinks flow and inhibitions lower, groups start breaking apart. You’ll notice it gets harder to walk across the bar as people start to move around. Preferably, you want to “lock down” the girl (or girls) you’ve been eyeing during “Face Time” (hence, why it’s called “Face Time”). Generally, the hotter the girl, the sooner you want to lock her down (as Face Time hours are when the hotties get bombarded with bad game). While you shouldn’t be a raging boner running around the club, Face Time is where you can drop the “polite” openers and start ramping up the sexual talk. Usually the numbers you pull during “Face Time” are the most solid for converting into solid dates because the girls are still sober enough to remember you yet loose enough to be ready for some tight game. The Final Countdown When to when: Last 20% of the night Objectives: Move interactions un-apologetically toward sex, try to get girls back to your place, approach lots of sets (if your goal is practicing), steal girls off other players, dance, make out, be physical and dominant Faux pas: Waiting to approach, talking too much before getting physical, not saying “Let’s get out here” to girls, not helping disarm your friend’s obstacles if he’s trying to take a girl home, getting phone numbers with expectations of it going somewhere, standing around Probably the most exciting part of the night, “The Final Countdown” forges legends. Usually an hour or so before closing time, “The Final Countdown” ensures everyone is sufficiently “loose” and social. At this point, it’s crucial to act as soon as you see what you want. “The right approach” doesn’t
matter, only getting the girl matters now. Literally, this is a freefor-all where hesitating even a second may mean losing the girl to another player who will swoop in and take her home before you can say, “Let me get a quick female opinion...” Also, this is a great time to recover another player’s “fumble.” Some other guy may have locked down a cutie earlier but as the night nears closing, he’s walking a razor’s edge with his room for error. The longer he stays in the bar with the girl, the more likely he is to “fuck it up.” Knowing this, one quick swoop might be all it takes to steal the girl away. Having been on both giving and receiving end of this, I know its all part of the game. Ultimately, when the night turns into The Final Countdown, sex is no longer implied — it’s implicit. Everyone left standing is looking to get laid. If you’re ready to play in the big leagues, stick it out to The Final Countdown and get shameless! Hope that helps put things in perspective and makes your nights out a little easier (and more successful). Since its Sunday, just relax and enjoy the downtime. If you can find it, rent the movie “Eyes Wide Shut” and check it out. I’ll explain why I think this movie is important later in the week. For now, just enjoy it and let it get under your skin. Go to bed early and make sure to get your energy back for next week. We still got more days and more girls before this journey is over! So to recap today you’re 1.) Thinking and writing about the rhythm of your night last night 2.) Checking out the movie “Eyes Wide Shut” 3.) Getting some rest Best, Rob & Zack
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TIGHTENING UP
DAY 8 MOTIVATION FOR YOUR SUCCESS
Monday
f you made it through all the missions Rob and I gave out last week, then you are already winning. If the missions were easy for you, that’s awesome. I’m not even going to tell you it gets any harder...because it doesn’t! That’s about as “difficult” as getting girls should ever be. You’ll see how true that statement is as we move on. If you had trouble doing those missions, you’re a pussy! Haha no I’m just kidding. If you had trouble doing those missions, never fear - we have had students that took more than 30 days to complete single missions. And for you, we fast tracked that pace giving you a bunch in one week. The guys that took longer to accomplish the missions are now very good friends of mine, and went on to date super hot girls as easily as if it were an afterthought. And the good news is, like I said before, that’s as difficult as it gets...once you can do those missions comfortably, you are at the place where you are ready to truly experience the movement that Rob and I have worked so hard to put together. That being said, there is still a lot of stuff to cover as we move further. So if you didn’t carry out any of those missions, or failed to record it in your journal, now is the time to go back and fill in
the cracks. We are building a foundation here, and we want it to be strong. I also strongly encourage you guys to go on the private forum and post your journals on there. Rob and I will follow along and make sure you are making forward progress, rather than spinning your wheels and wasting your time and effort. OK, now that that’s out of the way, its time to get down to business. This week we are going to exam something that is not mentioned in the dating community, and that is probably the reason so much of the picture is left unanswered. When it comes to dating HOT & QUALITY girls, it is not about what you do, it’s about what you DON’T do that makes a SUPER ATTRACTIVE guy. It is about not doing the stuff that all the other, unattractive guys do (99.7% of men). What NOT to do: • • • • • • • •
Worry about what others think of you. Being overly sensitive to girls that you aren’t in a relationship with you. Expect girls to be on time. Expect more from a girl than she wants to give (physically and emotionally). Failing to act comfortably around her. Failing to be comfortable about leading the relationship to a sexual place Hassle girls about ANYTHING they do, whether it be act a certain way or drink a certain drink (i.e. “negs”). Be boring.
Now these are only a short list, but the principle behind everything to not do is simple, if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. It is stressful to worry about a girl being late. Trust me, I have dealt with it so many times to tell you to just forget about them
showing up on time ever. The way to think about it is this, the extra time they are taking, is probably to look good when they see you. So just appreciate it for what it is. This is the general concept behind all of these things - girls are fundamentally different from boys. THAT should be what you love about them, as much as the fact that they’re hot. You can never convince a girl to act the way you want her to, but when you let her do her own thing, that’s when she will really make you feel attracted to her...if you let her. So that being said, this week’s curriculum revolves around eliminating the harmful things that you are doing, that take away from the awesomeness that you already possess, and holding you back from reaching that perfect balance. Today we are focusing on DRIVE vs. NEEDINESS. This is a question guys ask me all the time, “how do I tell if I’m being needy or not?” Fortunately this is an easy question to answer, as the 4 Elements of Game stated, the question is whether you feel like this girl will “fix” you, or whether you simply want to have fun with her. It’s that easy. If you see a girl you like and think, “damnnnn, shes a hottie...if she’s down we are going to have a LOT of fun!” But if when you see a girl and you think, “I don’t know what to say” or “this situation isn’t right to talk to her” then it is neediness. Plain and simple. You either “need” the right line to say, or you “need” a proper situation to approach her. Either way you NEED something. The fact is, every guy is needy for the most part. In the pickup community guys “need” tactics and lines, outside of the community, guys need cars, clothes, money, or a nice house. The reason Rob and I can have practically any girl we want in seconds, is because we need NOTHING.
So today we are going to work on identifying when you are being needy vs. when you are acting driven, and to help you eliminate that neediness once you notice it creeping back in. Mission #1 Think back to a few situations where you felt needy, or when an interaction with a girl you liked left you feeling crappy, insecure, or uncertain. Visualize this and write down everything about it that made you feel like shit. Next, go through those interactions in your mind, and visualize how they could have gone better, and how YOUR actions shaped the course of the interaction. Identify what it was about you that drove her away, and think about whether your actions came from a place of positive drive, or negative neediness. How could it have gone differently? How will you do it in the future? Mission #2 Approach 2 HOT girls. I mean the type that when you see them you think to yourself, “oh shit...I’ve never hooked up with a girl that hot before.” Making sure it goes well is NOT a priority, in fact it is a form of neediness in and of itself. Needing a positive outcome is as bad as needing an excuse to talk to girls. Therefore, all you are to do as you do these approaches is take note of: 1. How it felt
2. What made these interactions different from each other, and what made them different from interactions that you have had with girls that you know from your social circle
(were you more or less needy/self-conscious), and why exactly you think that was the case.
3. What did you NEED from these girls you approached? Was it to see them laugh as a sign you were on the right track? Was it for them to give you their phone number so you felt like you accomplished something? Whatever it is, whenever an interaction goes bad with a girl it is usually a result of neediness overshadowing your drive. Therefore really search your soul and be honest with yourself when trying to understand what it is that YOU need from girls, and why that may be. This understanding is a major leap to identifying and eliminating YOUR needy tendencies. Ultimately, neediness comes when you fail to do what you want, when you want. As you begin to identify when you are coming from a place of neediness, you will see that it is the exact opposite of how Drive is expained in the 4 Elements of Game. While neediness does in fact motivate people, it motivates them to pursue a path that is not their destiny, and sidetracks you from following your natural and attractive Drive. And worse yet, it loses hot girls along the way. So remember, identify your neediness, elminate it, and get back in touch with your drive! Have fun, see you tomorrow! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 9 ELIMINATING DANCING MONKEY
Tuesday
ow did that feel yesterday? Hopefully you are beginning to understand the difference between drive and neediness. By eliminating neediness, you increase your attractiveness 1000%, and are already different from the majority of guys, who convey neediness to the girls in their lives without ever being aware of it. Today we are going to work on eliminating another harmful habit. That habit is overly entertaining women. Now you might be asking, “but Zack, isn’t it GOOD to entertain women?” Of course women should be entertained whenever they interact with you, however WHERE you are coming from makes all the difference in the world.
An all too common problem occurs when guys do too much to impress or entertain a girl. This might include buying her and her friends drinks, telling too many stories, trying too hard to be funny, trying to impress her. All of these problems create what is known as “dancing monkey” syndrome, where rather than attract the girl and go home with her at the end of the night, you end up spending all night with a girl and nothing comes of it...or nothing more than a flakey phone number. If you look at the symptoms of dancing monkey syndrome, it all comes from trying to do too much. If you can make a girl laugh that is INCREDIBLE - don’t think for a second you shouldn’t aim to do so. BUT the key to getting the hottest girls with as little thinking as possible, comes down to knowing WHY you want to get a woman to laugh. Perhaps you have heard girls say, “I want a guy who can make me laugh.” But if you have no understanding of WHY girls want a guy who makes them laugh, or WHAT to do when she is laughing, then you aren’t seeing the bigger picture. The “WHY” Girls want a guy who can make them laugh because they want to experience positive, fun emotions. Who doesn’t? As the man it is YOUR job to make sure she is feeling these emotions.
Here’s the secret though, girls don’t ONLY want to laugh, they also want to be swept off their feet. However, if there is no humor or INSPIRATION to balance that DRIVE that sweeps her off her feet, then you are simply an aggressive guy and she is automatically going to have her guard up around you. Regardless of how good your intentions might be, she will be wary of you simply because of your lack of fun.
The 4 Elements of Game explained that “fun” is INSPIRATION. Inspiration is unique to each individual person. My inspiration will display itself differently from the way yours does. It HAS to. That is because inspiration is something that is unique to you. It is a combination of YOUR sense of humor, YOUR interests, and YOUR experiences. Because inspiration is unique to all of us, once you tap into it, you will provide a girl with a completely unique experience EVERY SINGLE TIME. The “WHAT” The final piece of the puzzle is to understand why we as guys want to make girls laugh, and more importantly WHAT to do once we have accomplished it. We want to make girls laugh because when girls are laughing they are in a good mood. Seem obvious? It is. When a girl is in a good mood, she is going to be open to trying new things, and will trust you to continue to provide a fun and positive experience. Once you have earned that trust, she will be more than happy to give you her phone number (with the intentions of ACTUALLY meeting up), or go home with you, or kiss you, or marry you...you get the point. The KEY to eliminating dancing monkey syndrome, and always knowing what to do once you make a girl laugh is to remember what inspiration’s purpose is. As the book explained, inspiration balances drive and provides release from the built up sexual tension created by your drive. Therefore, the goal is never to simply make a girl laugh, but rather it is to allow a girl to feel the sexual tension from your drive, but then release that tension through humor, or some other expression of inspiration so that the tension does not overflow and cause her to be uncomfortable. That is why the 4EG system is designed around BALANCE.
So once you create tension, and then get her laughing to release that tension, you two will automatically be closer to each other. The point of today’s missions are two-fold. Firstly, to get you identifying when you are falling victim to dancing monkey syndrome, and secondly to give you an understanding of the flow of an interaction between your drive and inspiration, as well as what to DO after the initial release that comes from your inspiration. Mission #1 Think of a funny story or something comical that you recently saw. Think about how you could convey this to a friend in a way that is both funny, yet not as if you were trying to impress them. That is how your inspiration should manifest itself - sharing your humor and experiences, but WITHOUT the intention of impressing anyone. If you try to impress a girl you will fail every time, trust me. If you are having trouble thinking of something funny, or how to relate a story in a funny way, take a moment to review the humor patterns that Rob laid out in The 4 Elements of Game. Pick one and start brainstorming. Next, call up 3 friends and share your story or experience with them. Don’t try too hard to make it funny, but just observe when and why they laugh. Most likely, it will be when you are sharing the feelings that you want them to feel. This means that in order to properly express your inspiration, you must truly be inspired. As the book explained, that means actually having fun when telling a funny story. Remember the comedians we showed you the other day? Well that is inspiration. When they are telling their jokes they are FEELING whatever it is that they are trying to convey like a good actor. All this means, is that you must really be into what you are talking about - get passionate!
Mission #2 Approach 2 girls and try to get her to blow you out - the harder the better. However, do NOT try to offend her. Simply go up to her and start talking about nonsense, or random stuff you like, whether it is pro-wrestling, or collecting sports memorabilia. The only thing you MUST do in accomplishing this mission, is talking to each girl about things that YOU are interested in. She doesn’t need to even be interested in the subject matter, you should simply just talk about whatever you like with the purpose of having her blow you out. The point of this mission will be obvious after you attempt it. Firstly, it is HARD to get blown out by girls, ESPECIALLY when you are talking about something that actually interests you. If YOU get into it, SHE will get into it. Try it and see! Mission #3 This mission is designed to get you to start understanding how the elements flow together, and how your inspiration is what greases the wheels of your interactions, it is what allows you to move the interaction forward and bring the MECHANICS element into the picture. As inspired as you might be, if you do not move the interaction forward and create new tension via your MECHANICS, you will lose the girl. Therefore, here is a simple example of how the elements work together: You spot a girl that you are into. You ride the wave of your drive and approach her holding nothing back. She feels this and the tension begins to mount as you look at her and convey all the feelings that she is generating inside of you. Next it is time to release that tension and for you and her to come together. This is where your inspiration pops up. You say a witty remark, tell her a story, or make a funny comment. She laughs.
This is CRITICAL: Most guys make a girl laugh and are relieved that they are now having fun. Then they make the mistake of trying to continue to keep her laughing. That is where dancing monkey syndrome begins. Rather than keeping her laughing, you should instead take her cheerful mood as momentum for working the mechanics. Therefore, once she laughs or is interested in what you are talking about, it is time to change gears quickly. Ask her to grab a drink or meet your friends. If you are out during the day, ask her for her number. If you don’t use the release created by your inspiration to ease the mechanics aspect, then you are going to get stuck in dancing monkey mode, and the girl will lose attraction, as there is no longer any balance between tension and release. Dancing monkey syndrome is essentially failing to reintroduce tension, and more specifically, failing to move the interaction forward using mechanics. While there is no one specific way to properly approach and attract a girl, it must always involve a balance. For instance, you can approach using either drive OR inspiration. However, whichever you lead with, you MUST follow up with it’s opposing element. The 4-EG system is about utilizing balance, not about doing everything the same each time. So your mission is as follows, approach a girl using your drive. Within the first 45 seconds, switch to letting some inspiration flow (don’t over do it you monkey!). Once the inspiration is expressed and the girl is intrigued by what you are all about, IMMEDIATELY move it forward, whether it be ask for her number, or ask her to grab a drink at the bar or café or whatever. The point is not even to get her to go along with it, rather it is to begin to see how to transition between your elements, and how they all should be present at the same time. The transition between all 4 elements should happen in less than 2 minutes of
real time. Don’t worry too much about that, it is simply to give you a benchmark for how long each element should be at play. When you first meet a girl, each element only needs to show itself for a few seconds at a time before you switch up and show another element of who you are. Take note of: 1. How smooth your transition between elements is 2. How long you stayed with each element 3. Did you express all 3 elements? (Drive, Inspiration, Mechanics) 4. Was there any connection present? 5. How did YOU feel about how the interaction went 6. How did the girl respond to you? That’s it for today gents. Plenty to work on, so make sure you are really thinking about how you are using your inspiration, and whether you are trying to impress the girl, or whether you are letting your inspiration flow on its own. Good luck! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 10 AVOIDING THE FRIEND ZONE—FOREVER!
Wednesday
esterday was probably a tiring day. Today however, we’re going to just kick back and talk a little bit about avoiding a common problem that really messes with a lot of guys I’ve have met.
The dreaded friend-zone. Avoiding the friend-zone is one of the perils that comes with dating girls. I have been stuck there before and I know how painful it is. The friend-zone comes from too much connection, not enough mechanics. You may have experienced this before...you hit it off with a girl, you guys are initially are into each other, and you have that warm glow on the inside that this might be the girl for you. You guys have fun together, but for some reason she either tells you she would “rather just be friends,” or maybe it just kind of stalls out. Either way, this problem comes from spending too much time being pleasant, rather than sexual. At some point you MUST connect with every single girl you want to be successful with. However, you must never let that connection overshadow the other elements. If the connection element overshadows the other elements, you are not generating those feelings of attraction, and all the connection in the world won’t land that girl in your bed. In order to avoid the friend-zone, make sure that when you decide it is time to connect with a girl, make sure that it always involves elements of tension that comes from balancing connecting with mechanics. So today’s mission is to call up a girl who’s number you have collected over the last several days. If you don’t have any numbers, no worries. Just go back, pick your favorite mission, and re-do it so until you get a girl’s phone number. NEXT: call her up and start to just chat casually with her, working on the elements of connection as laid out in The 4 Elements of Game. However, your mission is to balance your connection with mechanics to inject that tension back into the interaction.
WHAT TO DO: while connecting you must make casual references to 3 different activities or events that you are going to or involved in. DO NOT TRY TO BRAG OR SHOW OFF. Simply use them as points of building a connection. THEN when the time is right, invite her to whichever of the things you think will interest her the most. Even if it doesn’t go well, you are beginning to develop a balance between connection and mechanics, and furthermore you are learning how to use your connection element as a springboard to moving the interaction forward. Good luck! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 11 ROADMAP TO THE BEDROOM (MECHANICS)
Thursday
‘ll bet you are starting to get the hang of this stuff. Today, we are going to jump right in and discuss mechanics a little more thoroughly. Many times, I hear guys tell me about how they lost the girl due to all such and such reason, and I always find myself rolling my eyes. A common problem that I notice that comes from learning pickup material, is expecting everything to be perfect. The truth is, the closest thing you can come to being perfect is just taking action, and having a loose plan to keep in the back of your mind. Getting too caught up in your mechanics will leave you unbalanced, and will make it nearly impossible to form a connection with a girl that you like. Furthermore, the more “perfect” it is, the less real and unique it feels to her, and the more it feels like you have been rehearsing in front of a mirror. So today, we’re going to do something a little bit different. I am going to walk you through how I think about mechanics when interacting with a girl that I want. Firstly, during the beginning of the conversation, I am focusing more on my drive and inspiration balance. This lasts between 30 seconds to 2 minutes depending on the situation. However, at all times I have my general roadmap in the back of my mind. What is this road map? Well it was explained pretty
thoroughly in The 4 Elements of Game. But here is a quick glance at how my mind works. Goals: 1. Get contact info Crucial because no matter how great the interaction was, it was wasted if you cannot get in touch with her again 2. Give her some ideas of stuff that I do on a regular basis (discussed in yesterday’s email on blending connection with mechanics This allows you to give her some things to associate with you, and when you suggest that she join you doing one of these things, or meets up with you when you are finished, she has some frame of reference for who you are as a real person, not just some guy who is hitting on her. 3.
Leave the interaction on a no-pressure note
So often guys try to call the girl on the spot to make sure she has your number (or check if it’s a fake). This conveys that you are overanxious to get this girls phone number, and will convey neediness. Chill out, and assume the number is correct, or that she will remember you. If she doesn’t we have plenty of ideas on how to respond when she doesn’t remember you right away, and if the number was fake...well let’s just say it won’t help your cause calling her out on it. So that is all I am looking to do during the first interaction with a girl. Unless of course I am trying to push it further, it is best to keep it simple and avoid opportunities to fuck up. So let’s get right into today’s mission. Mission:
Approach 2-3 women. Follow my general roadmap, but make sure to keep it in the back of your mind, almost like steps 1-3 are simply afterthoughts, not something you were plotting all along. Can’t wait to see how this works out. Don’t forget to report back, either on the Date Hotter Girls Forum, or directly to me at
[email protected] See ya tomorrow! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 12 FUNKY FRIDAY
Friday
K well this week has been intense. That’s why we are going to take a break from all of this “learning” and have a little fun. Now, today is Friday, so I’m assuming you are planning on going out to meet some hotties! That is why today’s missions are going to be some things that Rob and I do when we go out to meet girls that are both fun, as well as leading us to end the night arm in arm with attractive girls night after night. Today you have a choice of missions. You can either do one, or both. If you have friends that you like to go out with, you should all do them together, the more the merrier! Mission #1 - Building momentum Approach the MOST attractive girl in the bar. Your mission has not completed until she either 1) LOVES you, or 2) HATES you. There is no middle ground. If she doesn’t either LOVE or HATE you, then you have not sufficiently demonstrated to her who you truly are or why you had to approach her. If the interaction ends and you realize that you have not made this strong of an impact on her, no worries. You are identifying where your balance is out of whack.
If this is the case, you are to repeat with the SECOND most attractive girl. When that interaction ends, go right back to the MOST attractive girl who you failed to leave a lasting impression on, and take a MULLIGAN (aka do-over)! Mission #2 - Royal treatment This is a FUN game to play with your buddies when you are out at the bar or club. You guys are all hanging out sharing drinks and laughs. The point of this mission is NOT to get yourself chicks. Rather it is to use your powers for good, and get your friend girls! Start by picking one of your friends who you will be giving the royal treatment to. For the rest of the night, it is your job to serve that friend girls. In turn he should be doing the same for you. If you are in a big group, just pair off until everyone is serving someone else, as well as being served. There are all sorts of fun deviations you can take with this, where you keep track of who served the most, got their friend the most phone numbers, etc. Get creative with this and keep it FUN. That’s all for today, remember...it’s the freakin’ weekend and it’s time to have some fun. Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 13
RELAX, RECON, AND GET READY FOR A DATE
Saturday
hope you had fun last night. The point of last night’s missions were to get you having fun while also focusing your efforts on getting girls. Hopefully you are starting to see that the two go hand in hand. So today, we are going to put everything you have learned toward a more practical application. Take some time today to do something you like, workout, fix your bike, lie on your back and listen to music…whatever. Completely chill out and relax. Your weekends are something that you should value. It is a time where you don’t have to report to anyone and you can do
exactly what you like. If you’re like me, that involves hanging out with hot chicks. We are going to go start working on something that Rob and I do all the time, meet a girl during the day and make plans to meet up later that night. Mission: Go to an area where you live that girls hangout at during the day. Maybe it’s the mall, the gym, a bookstore, it doesn’t matter. Do 3 approaches on girls that you would like to hang out with. Begin the conversation focusing on tapping into your drive, and then balancing the interaction with your inspiration. You guys should be chatting it up in a casual manner. Next, suggest that you guys do something later by way of, “You seem fun, let’s _______ later on. What’s your number?” Boom! Every time! The key here is having something fun in mind that you want to do already, which makes the whole interaction far more genuine. After you get a number, send her a text 2-3 hours before you guys plan to meet up just to firm up the plans. These plans can include other friends, or it can be a one-on-one date, the choice is yours. Tomorrow we will be deconstructing what we have learned this week, so for tonight continue to focus on just having fun! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 14 SUNDAY REFLECTION
Sunday
hope that this week was fun, but also got you some good results as well. Sunday is a great day. It is a day to kick back and reflect on your week as a whole. It is also a great time to catch up on stuff that
you have been putting off. Have you signed up and began posting on the forum yet? If not, quit stalling and do it now part of today’s mission requires you to record your experiences in your journal. Why not put it online to get feedback from Rob, myself, and other guys who are experiencing the same thing you are? Mission: Reflect & Record Think back to Monday. What did you realize about yourself that is conveying neediness to girls? How did you figure this out? How can you fix this? Of course we have answers to these questions, but it is important for developing your own sense of BALANCE that you starting to think about these things as well. Rob and I will be able to help coach you through the tough stuff, but you should really be learning to be your own teacher. Next, let’s look back to Tuesday. What behaviors or habits do you still have that seek to entertain girls? Are these things helping you? Or are they really holding you back from success? Are girls LOVING your company and dying to spend more time with you? Or are they losing interest and flaking on you? MOST guys overly entertain girls. If you watch our infield footage that is included in the bonuses, you will notice that we are rarely TRYING to impress or entertain girls. Instead, we are creating a fun vibe that they are latching onto. Once you eliminate your harmful “dancing monkey” tendencies, you can replace them with carefree inspiration that builds a fun sexual vibe around your DRIVE. Wednesday we discussed the importance of building a genuine connection, without landing yourself in the friend-zone. This is actually fairly easy. You simply must remember to be GENUINE and get to know the girl for REAL. This means REALLY being yourself and dropping any gimmicks. BUT the balance comes from remember WHY you are forming this connection. It is because you’re attracted to her, and want a sexual relationship.
So while you SHOULD be connecting, it is NOT your goal - your goal is to move the interaction forward to where you BOTH want it to wind up! Thursday we talked about mechanics and how to actually move an interaction forward. How did you feel when moving the interaction forward? I remember that this was one of the hardest things for me to realize, that I could move an interaction forward VERY fast, with little to no objection from the girl. It was simply a result of going for it, but ALSO knowing how to do it smoothly. How did it feel when you tried to move the interaction forward? Did it go well? Didn’t it feel kinda cool whether it went bad or not? It’s like shooting a basketball - if you don’t take the shot, you simply cannot score. How can you do it even SMOOTHER next time. Friday and Saturday were simply about having fun and putting some of this stuff into practice, plain and simple. We will have more fun missions for you to do out in the field over the coming weekends. Mission: Carrying Over Success This week we are going to have a special focus - how to setup and carry out various first date scenarios. We will give you several possible date scenarios that you can pull out whenever. This includes dive bar dates, dinner dates, movie dates, you name it. For that reason Sunday is an important day. Sunday is the day that we go through our phone numbers that we collected from the week, and start following up and also booking up our social calendar. Firstly, time to share a little secret from my personal playbook. Because you are going to be collecting a LOT of numbers from now on, it’s good to have a phone system to remember one Ashley from another. So now, here it is for the first time ever, Zack Bauer’s Phone Ranking System!
Step 1 Firstly, go through all your numbers. The newest ones that you get go into the “A” file. This means, before their name you place an “A” to bump them to the top of your contact list. This group is saved for girls that are cool and you are interested in following up with. Next, place a “F” in front of the girls that, well you know ;). This way there will be no mixing them up! Finally place a “Z” in front of phone numbers that are nonresponsive or you are just not that into. Never delete these numbers, as you’ll never know when she will hit you up out of the blue. Step 2 The second step is adding a suffix to each phone number, something that will help you remember who this is, and where you guys met. Remembering details will keep you in good standing, trust me. So here is what a typical phone number looks like in my phone: A Ashley Wholefoods And there you have it! So go through your phone now and start organizing your numbers. Sometimes Sunday is a good time to setup your dates for the week, but we prefer to do it early in the week. This is because on Sunday, people are winding down from their weekend and gearing up for another week. It is typically harder to get girls to commit to plans on a Sunday. It is better to wait once the flow of the week has begun, and they know what their schedule will look like. Talk to you tomorrow, and see ya on the forum!
Best, Zack
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GETTING THE SWING
DAY 15 THE FOLLOW UP
Monday
ike I said yesterday, we are going to start to work on following up phone numbers, and setting up dates. Following up a number properly is actually very simple. The most important part is not overcomplicating the situation. So today you are going to select 3 phone numbers you have recently collected and have not yet contacted. We are going to use these numbers and go over how to set up a date properly. Mission: First read this article I wrote on how to send the perfect text. http://www.datehottergirls. com/3-easy-steps-to-sending- theperfect-text-message/ Now, send a different message that you crafted yourself using that formula to each number. In order to follow the rest of this week’s agenda, set up a different date from this list with each number you follow up with. • • • •
Dive bar Evening drinks Coffee date Movie date
•
Invite her over for you to cook for her
Whether you get all 3 numbers to turn into a date with a hottie, or none of them workout, it is important to get comfortable going through the steps. After you send out each text, try to figure out a different day to spend with each girl, and firm up the plans. Don’t carry on too much via text or you will lose all that great tension that you are building up. She should feel a littler nervous and excited after the plans. You shouldn’t text back and forth more than 3-5 times. If there is more that needs to be said at that moment, call her up immediately rather than continue to use texts. If you spend too much time in “text-land” she will be more hesitant to let the interaction move forward, this leads to A LOT of the reasons that guys have girls flake on them. Record your results, what went awesome? What could have been better, etc. Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 16 A DATE YOU’RE SURE TO LAND
Tuesday
know Zack’s been dropping knowledge on you hard and this week is “follow up week” for a date. To keep with Zack’s theme, but also to put my twist onto it, I’m going to concentrate on two simple things in this email, 1.) an alternative way to set up dates that could vastly reduce flakes (a mechanics elements), and 2.) an exercise that’ll help cultivate the proper mindset to optimize your attractiveness. So, to begin, I’m going to relate a quick story from this weekend. On Friday night, I was out and about, enjoying the splendor of hot chicks and all the best NYC has to offer. I wound up meeting this real hotty (tiny little girl with a smoking body) who really caught my eye. I put my 4-EGs in motion, stepped up to her, and spent the night talking and making out with her. Unfortunately, something happened with her friend and one of my friends, which prevented us from taking our interaction to the next level that night. As such, I “soft closed” her by taking
her number. When I handed her my iPhone, she programmed in her number as well as her email. Now, I haven’t “email closed” a girl since I first started learning how to pickup girls. I know, I know, to most guys, taking a girl’s email address seems really lame. HOWEVER, I started to think about something: when I first started learning “game”, I got A LOT of dates with girls even though my game pretty much sucked. That means my mechanics element was STRONG. So I did some research. I went through some of my old emails and realized after “email closing” enough girls, I’d crafted the PERFECT email template. In fact, as I was looking through my archive, I’ve NEVER had a girl not respond when I sent this follow up email. So I’m going to include the EXACT email I sent to the girl from the other night (obviously she responded and we have plans to drink some wine Thursday night) and then I’ll write out the template so you can easily swap some phrases in and out to make this template truly your own, perfectly fit for any interaction you may have. My recent email to “the hotty”: “Dearest Hot Sauce Lover – Nice to finally meet someone who’s on my level of verbal jousting. Enjoyed our conversation about world travel, tasty wine, and our fabled relationship which is already fated to end in a vicious cycle of fighting and makeup sex (and 10,000 children). I don’t know if I can handle the emotional turbulence. I may have to stick you in the friend zone :) Hope you got home safe ;) Pax, Mysterious Guy from the Gansevoort (ignore the full name in my email address)
P.S. Right now are you wearing a little power suit, with your hair up, reading this as your juggle your Blackberry and a briefcase in one hand (perhaps with a grande Starbucks coffee in the other hand)?” Email template: “Dearest (Inside joke or nickname) – Nice to finally meet someone who’s on my level of (something you complimented her on). Enjoyed our conversation about world (3 things you spoke about, generally I go: 1.) something serious, 2.) something random and minor, 3.) something funny). I don’t know if I can handle the emotional turbulence. I may have to stick you in the friend zone :) Hope you got home safe ;) Pax, (Nickname she gave you) P.S. (Simple, direct (and ideally, funny) question that makes it easy for her to respond when she writes back.)” Again, this is just a suggestion, but if you’re having a problem with “flakes” you should absolutely try this approach. Keep in mind, sending off an email, while it may seem like a “pussy move,” actually lets you communicate your personality WAY MORE than you can over text or on a voicemail. Moreover, emails give her a chance to respond at her leisure. For example, she may ignore your text while she’s out and about, and then simply forget to respond. With email, however, you KNOW she’s reading your message when she’s sitting down, fully able to respond.
Give it a shot and see if it reduces your flaking. Okay, so moving on to the exercise in this email, I want you to go on a date tonight...with yourself. Yup, you heard me correct: you’re going to take yourself out to a nice dinner, order a nice beverage, and get to know YOURSELF. For a lot of guys their biggest sticking point relates to not understanding their own values and interests. Especially when we study how to better meet and attract women, us guys often put theory and girls in front of understanding ourselves. Therefore, this exercise is simple, but should be hugely beneficial to you if you’re neglecting yourself (which we ALL do at some point). I want you to go out, pick a nice restaurant or café to take yourself, and spend at least an hour focused ONLY on yourself.
If it helps, you can prepare a set of “interview” questions to ask yourself: what are your interests? What have you been excited about lately? What are your goals?
Even if you think you already know the answers to your questions, go on your self-date anyway. You’ll be surprised what you discover when you devote an hour or so solely to yourself.
So, to sum up today’s assignments, you’re going to: 1.) 2.)
Consider using email as an effective “anti-flake” strategy. Go on a date with yourself and really get to know yourself.
That’s it! Best, Rob & Zack
DAY 17 SETTING UP A DATE
Wednesday
ob’s tip about setting up dates via Email was something I have never really done. So to join you guys along the way, I decided to send out that email to 3 different girls that I have met recently. The results? I have a date lined up for Thursday, and I’m double booked for Friday, will have to work that one out. Anyways, now that you have gone on a date with yourself and are more in touch with who you are and what you want out of your dating life, you are ready to start dating ACTUAL girls, haha.
Use any technique you wish, whether it be my text advice I gave out a couple days ago (here it is again: http://www.datehottergirls. com/3-easy-steps-to-sending- theperfect-text-message/), Rob’s advice from yesterday, or any other way that you feel comfortable setting up a date. TIP: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are EXCELLENT days for setting up dates. The reason is, girls have settled into their week a little bit, and are starting to look towards the fun that next weekend promises. This is the PERFECT time to try to capitalize on that emotion, especially when she doesn’t have any big plans to interfere. Instead of trying to set the date up for later in that week however, you are going to try to set it up for that night. I cannot tell you how often I pass the boring hours at work by simply hitting up phone numbers that I have collected, and lining up a date for after I get home. Nothing gets you through the workday better than the anticipation of meeting up with a hot girl you just met. The key to ensuring success is hitting up about 3-5 phone numbers with the same text and for the same plans. Wait about 1-2 hours to respond, just to make sure that all the girls that will respond have their chance to be #1. Then you will not only have your choice of which girl to go out with based on who is available that night, you can also reschedule the other girls for another night that week. Give it a shot and report back! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 18 SUPERNOVA DAY
Thursday
hope you had success setting up your dates. We’ll have some pointers for what to do on those dates in the next few days.
For today, we are going to go over the Romantic Supernova as explained in the book. This is an excellent date to set up because everything is built in - food, entertainment, and a couch ;). It is not the only way, but it is time tested, and proven to work. Mission: First, re-read the section in The 4 Elements of Game on the Romantic Supernova. Get everything that you will need including food, drinks, and entertainment ready to go. Use either Rob’s email technique, or my text technique, and set up a date with a girl that you have either met recently, or have been out with a few times already. Follow the steps to the “T” and have fun. Don’t worry about what to say or how to act, you have your 4EG’s balanced right? Good. So in that case, enjoy and simply have fun. Remember to record what happened in your journal so we can get more in depth on Sunday night. TIP: On the date, the only things you should be concerned with is having fun, making sure your GUEST is having fun, and whether or not you are building and using sexual tension and release. That’s all that should be on your mind while you’re in the middle of a Supernova experience. Have fun! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 19 BAR DATE
Friday
ow did the Supernova go last night? I love it because it is such a simple date that you can pull out practically any time and with any girl, and feel confident that it is going to go down amazing. Do you have a date lined up for tonight yet? If you set up a date for today based on the other day’s mission that’s awesome! If not take this time to practice your setup for the date by hitting up a few of the numbers that you have collected in the past couple weeks. Tonight we’re going to go somewhere that I’m sure every guy is familiar with...a bar. They type of bar you choose is completely up to you. It can be a fancy margarita spot, a wine bar, or even a dive bar. That’s right, it does not matter. So no matter what situation you are in, you will always have a place to take a date. Follow the mission and you’ll see results. I promise. Mission: Go out for drinks and get a girl back to your place First, choose a bar that is close to your place. It will be much easier to make the move home if it isn’t to much of a hassle. Make plans to either pick her up or meet her at the bar, whichever works best. When you meet up keep the vibe fun and casual at first. Have a drink and relax, get the banter going, and just have fun. Don’t rush to finish your drinks, as you don’t want to get too drunk. Nor should you want her to get too drunk. Use whatever you have in the bar to your advantage, whether it is a jukebox, pool table, or fancy straws in the drinks. Entertain yourself, and she will have fun as well.
On the second round of drinks increase the tension. This comes from amping up your drive, telling her what you like about her, and looking at her in a way that let’s her know that you are completely attracted to her. Make sure that she feels comfortable with this, so that you can begin to move this forward. As you build this tension, keep your inspiration flowing. Make sure that the moment is not only tense, but also inviting and fun. Make mention of the fun things you have back at home. I have a balance board, and while out at the bar I tell girls that I’m going to take them home and take them surfing. This always piques curiosity. What sort of fun are YOU bringing to the table that she should know about? As you hint at the fun you are going to have back home, and you increasingly communicate your attraction through strong eye contact, smiling, and having fun with her, you should finish up your drinks. I don’t like to have more than 2-3 drinks on a date, because I don’t intend nor want to be drunk when interacting with a girl I’m really into. Furthermore, I don’t want her being drunk to forget any of the fun times that we share together. Also, girls will trust themselves around you if you aren’t the guy who needs to rely on getting them plastered to get laid. Be a gentleman. So after finishing your drinks tell her simply, “OK! Time to [go surfing]!” Exchange my surfing for whatever it is that YOU want to take her home to do. Maybe it’s finger painting. Maybe it’s watching your favorite TV show with her. Either way, you should not be looking at getting her home as if it is your only agenda. When you get home, you must entertain her and keep the vibe fun and sexual, perhaps open a bottle of wine (that you most likely won’t get around to finishing). From there you can decide where to take things. Have fun! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 20 DELIGHTFUL DAY
Saturday
hope you had fun last night, and the romance actually turned into a Supernova...if ya know what I mean. Anyways, today is Saturday. Saturdays are NOT the night to be setting up a first date. It sends the wrong message to a girl you just met. What is that message? • •
I don’t have plans on a Saturday night (i.e. I’m plain and boring) I want to spend one of my only free days with you, someone I have very little connection with yet
The good news is that Saturday is the perfect night to go out with your friends and meet NEW girls for next weeks dates. So that’s exactly what you’re going to do, put the 4-EG system into action and go meet some new girls that you are into and interested in dating. Mission: Afternoon Delight So while you’re out tonight meeting hotties, you should be thinking about setting up a date for tomorrow afternoon. You are going to use the momentum that you generate from meeting these girls, to get a date the following day. Go out, have fun, meet cool girls. I love giving homework assignments!
While you’re talking to these girls, hint at something cool that you are going to be doing tomorrow (make your plans before going out) and invite her to join (CASUALLY!!!!). If she says yes, use it as an opportunity to grab her number. If she doesn’t flat out invite herself along, just be cool about it. Get her number before you leave, but don’t make mention of the activity a second time. Instead, you’re going to text her with the text message set up I have been talking about that you can find again here: http://www.datehottergirls. com/3-easy-steps-to-sending- theperfect-text-message/ Set up the date for Sunday, and have fun! Look for my Sunday wrap up when you get home from the date (unless of course you never make it home). Enjoy! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 21
REFLECTION TIME
Sunday
K so I hope you had fun last night, met some cool girls, and took one of them on the date you had planned out for today. If so, how did it go? If you weren’t able to land a date for tonight, what went wrong? Was it your approach, was it your follow up, did you lack a solid plan, etc. Record this in your journal. Now that it has been 3 straight weeks of mackdom, what changes have you noticed? When Rob and I were just starting to go out and really nail this stuff down and see awesome results, we had a tough time making it through 30 days straight. It was grueling and tiresome. But the most frustrating part was feeling like there was no improvement.
It wasn’t until after we had dragged ourselves half to death, facing all types of shame and embarrassment, that I was able to look back and see the difference.Maybe you haven’t gotten the optimal results from all of the missions. But so long as you actually ATTEMPTED them you are making progress, I promise. It is the same thing that we see with all of our students – it is not until you have some time to reflect on what you have accomplished that it solidifies itself in your mind. So today’s mission is about reflection. Mission: Pure Relflection I’m sure that some of the missions we have given, whether it was to sing to a stranger or to try to kiss a girl in under a minute, have been interesting experiences to say the least. Perhaps you never would have thought that these things were possible, or furthermore, that YOU could even attempt to do it and get away with it! Whatever it has been for you, think back on what you did, that despite thinking it was dumb, or wouldn’t work, placed you outside your comfort zone, and as a result gave you a slight grin or feeling of surprise after the moment had passed. What have you realized about yourself over the last 3 weeks? Have you changed at all? Are you still the same man you were 3 weeks ago? If so is that good or bad? For some people, changing who they are is a BAD things as they are already great to begin with. Other people could certainly benefit from a personality tweaking if they are not getting the results they want when interacting with the girls you are attracted to. What have you realized about girls since you have begun? Are they easier than you thought to relate to? Are they more difficult? Have you found that you enjoy building more genuine connections?
What have you realized about the way you view dating and hooking up with girls? Have your views remained the same or changed since we begun a few weeks ago? Take some time to honestly reflect upon these and any other questions that come to you while you are chilling out and reflecting. I created a thread on the forum called Sunday Reflections for you guys to post all your responses to this in addition to in your journal. Rob and I will go through them, and we can have a solid discussion about all that you have been experiencing. Other than that, take some YOU time and just relax tonight…it has been a long but EPIC week. Talk to you soon! Best, Zack & Rob
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PULLING IT ALL TOGETHER
DAY 22 SOCIAL CIRCLE DAY
Monday
hope that you got an idea last week of how set up and enjoy some basic date ideas. Now that the pieces are starting to fit together, we are going to move onto a different topic – dating girls that you meet through your social life. Maybe it’s a girl from class, work, or you met through friends. Girls that you meet through your normal social life rather than by a cold approach tend to make up the majority of girls that you will meet in your life. If you’re anything like me, you have met a girl or two through your social circle, and have wanted to date her. That being said, the 4 Elements of Game are just as important to dating girls that you passively meet through your social circle.
However, the way you interact with them must be very subtle, and very casual. If you try to get too direct with someone you met in your social circle, you risk not only losing the girl, but also offending the rest of the social group. There are some dangers that you run when dealing with social circle dating. It is easy to drive the girl away by being too direct. At the other end of the spectrum you also run the risk of ending up in the “friend-zone.” So this week our focus is finding that perfect balance between being too direct, and not being direct enough as it relates to dating girls in your social circle. Here are some quick tips to boost your success: • •
Use your mutual acquaintances to your advantage Make use of events that you know she will be at
• • • • •
Insulate yourself into her social circle by befriending her friends Do not talk about your interest in this girl with her friends (rumors travel fast and cannot be controlled) Do not seek to hang out with this girl one on one right away Position yourself in a way to be viewed by this girl in your natural environment (with your friends and hers) Be casual with her at first, and play it slightly coy. This will build attraction as she wonders why you are so fun and open with others, yet you are slightly different around her. This will amplify the sexual tension without having to actually DO anything.
Mission: Recon Mission Today is Monday, so we’ll keep today’s mission to a homework assignment. Think back to all the girls that you have met or been attracted to in your social circle. What kept you from getting this girl? If you ended up hooking up with her, what helped you guys hook up? What type of guys do you see girls go for in their social circles? Post your thoughts about this on the Forum. Then, come up with 3 questions you have about social circle game. Email them to me at
[email protected] Can’t wait to hear from you! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 23 FRIEND DAY
Tuesday
K, so I hope you gave some serious thought to what we talked about yesterday. Now, it’s time to make your first move. When initiating contact with girls in your social circle, SUBTLTY will be crucial. If you come on too strong too quickly it will confuse her, especially if she has only thought of you as a friend for a while. Instead, you must UNDERPLAY this situation. NOT put pressure on her, and NOT give away your agenda before SHE is already thinking about you in that “more-than-a-friend” sort of way. Some of this stuff seems contrary to what we discussed in The 4 Elements of Game as it relates to following your drive and approaching girls shamelessly. Keep in mind, you still MUST tap into your drive, express it through inspiration, build a connection, and move the interaction forward. Nothing has changed, except the situation you are in. Approaching a girl in a strong direct fashion works great, because it sends her an instant message about what type of guy you are, instantly builds tension (and hence attraction), and allows you to reveal your other elements fairly quickly. Now, because you already know or have ties to the girls in your social situation, you must look at the situation in a slightly different light. You are not under the pressure to approach, or risk losing the girl forever. So play it slower…there is far less pressure to perform in a social circle setting, as you can come and go into this girl’s reality almost at will. So here is a MONEY road-map that I only share with friends. Here it goes: •
When interacting with a girl you already know or met through your social circle, keep it CASUAL by not VOICING your
attraction. Instead let it show through your smile, eye contact, and manner that you treat her (like your girlfriend i.e. holding the door, taking her coat, etc). • This seems small, but she will SENSE the change in your behavior, yet will not be able to figure out what seems different. You have not voiced it to her so there are doubts in her head about why you are acting different. Your different actions will force her to play the role of your girlfriend. • Use this new dynamic to help your cause, and simply move it forward CASUALLY. Suggest that you two attend a party or hit a bar. Make it sound like just friends hanging out, but the FEELING is that of boyfriend/girlfriend hanging out. • Simply keep the tension by NOT moving forward too soon. Wait until you guys are alone at your place or hers later on before you actually make your move. • In these situations, if the tension is allowed to linger, it makes finally hooking up so easy because the girl is DYING to know if this tension & new feelings are real, or whether she just imagined it. Mission: Set up a “hang out” scenario with a girl that you like in your social circle. Follow the road-map I laid out above. If you have any questions, email me at
[email protected] or post them on the forum. Enjoy! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 24 ATTRACTIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Wednesday
ow did that go setting up your social-circle date? Today, we’re going to add to the discussion we were having yesterday. While it is good to be able to transition a girl from friend to girl friend, it is better to instantly be viewed as “potential boyfriend material” from the moment a girl is introduced to you. This makes your life SO easy, because instead of always having to approach girls that you like, you can capitalize on all the girls you meet in the course of your daily life. Essentially what we are talking about today, is how to make an ATTRACTIVE FIRST IMPRESSION. The difference between an attractive first impression and an unattractive first impression comes down to PREDICTABILITY. A normal first impression is common place, an ATTRACTIVE FIRST IMPRESSION leaves girls with butterflies in their stomach. This has NOTHING to do with looks, money, or nice car. So let’s first break down the anatomy of an attractive first impression. 1. Smile – if you are smiling in a “nice to meet you” sort of way this is common. Everyone knows this smile that you put on to be polite when meeting someone. Instead, your smile should convey that you have a fun and exciting secret (perhaps a dirty one). This
“unpredictable” smile will leave her wondering what is going through your head, but your polite actions send mixed signals that get her emotions racing. 2. Eye contact – same as above. Standard eye contact when meeting someone is very polite. Instead you want to look at her in a way that is NOT creepy, but conveys that you are ACTUALLY appreciating this gorgeous girl standing in front of you…believe me she will FEEL it. 3. How you speak to her – do you talk to her in very polite “stranger conversation” or instead, do you engage her in interesting and different conversational topics that she would not otherwise expect when first being introduced to someone. And this list goes on. But as you can see, there is VERY LITTLE EFFORT here. It is all about being casual and subtle, as if you are planting the idea in her head rather than trying to lay your cards on the table. Mission: Go out today and throughout your daily routine practice these little tips for an attractive first impression. It is best to practice on grocery store cashiers, sales girls, etc. Perhaps even complete strangers. But today is just practice so don’t worry…I certainly don’t want you to mess up in front of friends before you get the hang of it, and risk serious embarrassment. So go get comfortable with this stuff and remember, don’t try hard…this is all about being subtle. Better to under-do it than over-do it. Talk to you soon! Best, Zack & Rob
DAY 25 SOCIAL DAY
Thursday
hope that you got an idea last week of how set up and enjoy some basic date ideas. Now that the pieces are starting to fit together, we are going to move onto a different topic - dating girls that you meet through your social life. Maybe it’s a girl from class, work, or you met through friends. Girls that you meet through your normal social life rather than by a cold approach tend to make up the majority of girls that you will meet in your life. If you’re anything like me, you have met a girl or two through your social circle, and have wanted to date her. That being said, the 4 Elements of Game are just as important to dating girls that you passively meet through your social circle.
However, the way you interact with them must be very subtle, and very casual. If you try to get too direct with someone you met in your social circle, you risk not only losing the girl, but also offending the rest of the social group. There are some dangers that you run when dealing with social circle dating. It is easy to drive the girl away by being too direct. At the other end of the spectrum you also run the risk of ending up in the “friend-zone.” So this week our focus is finding that perfect balance between being too direct, and not being direct enough as it relates to dating girls in your social circle. Here are some quick tips to boost your success: • • • • • • •
Use your mutual acquaintances to your advantage Make use of events that you know she will be at Insulate yourself into her social circle by befriending her friends Do not talk about your interest in this girl with her friends (rumors travel fast and cannot be controlled) Do not seek to hang out with this girl one on one right away Position yourself in a way to be viewed by this girl in your natural environment (with your friends and hers) Be casual with her at first, and play it slightly coy. This will build attraction as she wonders why you are so fun and open with others, yet you are slightly different around her. This will amplify the sexual tension without having to actually DO anything.
Mission: Recon Mission Today is Monday, so we’ll keep today’s mission to a homework assignment.
Think back to all the girls that you have met or been attracted to in your social circle. What kept you from getting this girl? If you ended up hooking up with her, what helped you guys hook up? What type of guys do you see girls go for in their social circles? Post your thoughts about this on the Forum. Then, come up with 3 questions you have about social circle game. Email them to me at
[email protected] Can’t wait to hear from you! Best, Zack & Rob
